#Also I have a massive crush on my Vulture

[achillean-knight]

So I have been designing....

[bramblemantle]

heyyyyy rain world community ! I know people make fan ocs and alter existing species (like making hybrid slugcats) but i don’t know if people make fan species? but I did because I thought it would be fun :)

Some details + bonus sketches below the readmore! I made them for my own purposes but I’m probably fine with other people doin stuff with them too as long as you ask !

So, scrapbirds! They fall into the category of purposed organisms that retain a lot of mechanical traits, like their larger cousins (miros birds / scissorbirds).

- average size is a little larger than scavengers, but sizes can vary noticeably

- original purpose, as their name denotes, was to dismantle old structures for reusable parts. They are very good at stripping components from machines and buildings

- they retain the urge to tear things apart, for the purposes of feeding and building their roosts and because their boredom is very destructive when they’re understimulated

- diet consists mainly of scrap materials and partially of other organisms. They are primarily scavengers, but a desperately hungry or bored bird will seek to hunt creatures that may be as large as themselves

- they’re stronger gliders than fliers; their wings are built more for grasping and climbing than for flight. Their movement resembles a mix between that of scavengers and vultures

- they are a communal species, but also a fiercely territorial one. While encountering a lone scrapbird or even a group outside of the territory is a perfectly ordinary event and finding one on the hunt is rare, stumbling into or nearby a roost will provoke defensive actions from the entire flock

- their tails are their primary weapon, built for bludgeoning and sometimes additionally bladed. Their jaws are also powerful weapons, with an immense bite force and strong grip. While this was designed for tearing metal apart, it also does a great job of crushing bone and rending flesh !

- the dark appendages some have are a marker of the individual’s temperament. A 4-mark bird is more inclined to be highly aggressive, dominant, and territorial to the point they’ll fight to the death to protect their turf from intruders, regardless of who or what that intruder is. A no-mark is quite tame and likely to flee from any adversary not significantly smaller than themselves

- like scissorbirds, scrapbirds are very light-sensitive. Daylight can be too harsh on their eyes, so their favourite roosting locations tend to be large structures that cast big shadows (that is to say, they can be a very common sight on and below iterator cans, to the minimal annoyance of whatever iterator they choose to roost in)

- while they are very good at scavenging material, even sizeable roosts of scrapbirds are little more than an inconvenience to an iterator. They do not pose any significant risk to such massive superstructures

That’s all for now! As a bonus for getting this far, here’s the first sketches I did of them a few months back :)

(Not much changed, but they were going to have feathered wings)

[doorbloggr]

Tuseday 7/9/21 - The Dinosaur Scavenger Debate

Model of Sue the T.rex eating a baby Edmontosaurus, from the Field Museum, Blue Rhino Studios

Full disclosure before I start this article, I am not a palaeontologist, neither have I kept up with all of the relevant literature to know everything on the topic. But I've seen this debate flair up a few times on paleo twitter in the past, so I'm gonna give you a very shallow overview of the discussion.

Therapod dinosaurs were a very unique type of carnivorous animal. All the active hunting terrestrial carnivores we have today have an upper size limit of maybe a tiger or a bear, and most of those travel on all fours. Large meat eating dinosaurs had different bone structures, metabolisms, and importantly, different prey.

A few times in the past, and again recently, there have been those sceptical of the actual hunting ability of large therapod dinosaurs. Sure they were big enough to kill their prey, but were they fast enough? Had enough stamina? Tyrannosaurus rex had jaws powerful enough to break clean through flesh and bone, but you know what else does? Hyenas, jackals, vultures; scavengers. I am not personally aligned with this hunter-sceptical side of palaeontology, but it is an argument that exists.

Hyenas scavenging, Credit: The Next Crossing

Long ago there was an ill-informed take that some dinosaurs were too big to walk. Now the current take is that some dinosaurs were too big to hunt. So, with a bit of research, today I'm going to explore both sides of this debate.

Obligate Scavengers

The first part of the argument is usually about how powerful the jaws of Tyrannosaurus are. Its bite could crush bones, and coprolites (fossil poo) from the species has shown remains of bone fragments, confirming that this dinosaur was indeed eating bones. The teeth of dinosaurs more commonly thought of as pursuit predators such as raptors have narrower, blade like teeth, while T.rex had large, thick, banana sized/shaped teeth. So was this dinosaur specialised for mostly rotted carcasses?

Tyrannosaurus eating a Triceratops, Atrox1 (deviantart)

Tyrannosaurus has also been recently found to have extraordinary senses. It's eyesight is second to none in the dinosaur kingdom and may even rival the visual acuity of today's falcons. And it's sense of smell was amazing too, able to smell blood way beyond even it's visual range. Senses like these are useful for scavengers today who need to travel long distances to find their food. Vultures and condors may travel thousands of kilometres to find a carcass, and like T.rex, their large size means that they can scare off most smaller scavengers from a larger corpse.

Allosaurus fragilis attack a Diplodocus, Fred Weirum

This last point is more about Allosaurus, who has recently been accused of a scavenging lifestyle too. Although Allosaurus was more lightly built than Tyrannosaurus, and had large powerful claws, it has long been studied to most often preyed on Sauropod dinosaurs, which were many, many times larger than Allosaurus. Allosaurus was thought to be unlikely to be able to take down a Sauropod on its own, and its skull is not as robust as most large therapods its size. Sauropod dinosaurs were truly gigantic, and have been studied to move in herds, so perhaps it was just that Allosaurus followed these herds, and when one died, that's enough meat to sustain even a family of Allosaurus for weeks!

Active Hunters

While it's easy to find fossil evidence of bones being damaged while the animal is dead, evidence of the animal being hunted is not as easy. BUT it can be found. Many prey species dinosaurs have evidence of bone scar tissue, meaning that the animal was injured, but got better. In some specimens, there are specific markings evident of teeth marks on partially healed bones, or even teeth lodged in the bones. Tyrannosaurus rex teeth markings have been found in multiple specimens, showing that Tyrannosaurus was actively attacking live animals, and sometimes, the prey got away.

Tyrannosaurus, Mark Garlick

The unusually well adapted senses also point to a predator positive position. Tyrannosaurus' binocular vision is evidence of an animal that needed depth perception, and the only extant animals with true binocular vision are predators. Bone studies have, for a long time, concluded that Tyrannosaurus rex could only walk relatively slowly. But this is a misconception, Tyrannosaurs preferred to walk slowly, and may have travelled most of the time at a more relaxed pace, but it could likely experience short bursts of higher speed. The herbivorous prey items it hunted were not extraordinarily fast either, and a quick dash as an ambush was probably all it took to grab a surprised hadrosaur or ceratopsian.

Komodo Dragon hunting a feral goat, Caters News Agency

The hardy teeth of Tyrannosaurus rex may have been well suited for crushing bones, but their overall shape point to damages that could also better injure their prey. Unlike the pointed daggers of most therapods, Tyrannosaurus teeth were deeply serated like a Komodo Dragon's. And Komodo Dragons do not need to kill their prey in one bite either. Their serated teeth are home to bacteria, and once they bite into their prey, the wound festers and bleeds out profusely, until their injury worsens enough that the predator catches up and finishes them off. Palaeontologists have theorised T.rex may have done the same.

Opportunistic Scavengers

The issue with this debate is there seems to be this misconception that it's either one or the other. But what if we consider modern examples of meat eating animals? Sure Hyenas, a well established scavenger can crush bones with its jaws, but you know what else can? Lions, and Tigers, and Bears! Oh my! Crushing bones can help you kill living animals too actually.

And sure Tyrannosaurus rex has shown evidence of scavenging on the carcasses of long dead animals, and Allosaurus has been discussed reaping the benefits of a massive Sauropod carcass, but what predator wouldn't pass up on an already dead animal corpse? Big cats, bears, and wolves have been observed countless times reaping the benefits of animals killed by humans, or massive sea mammals or fish that wash up dead on the beach.

A brown bear and a wolf scavenging on a fin whale carcass, Credit: Brad Josephs

The probable truth of the dinosaur scavenger debate is that most large therapods were capable of taking down some prey items, but would not pass up a large dead dinosaur if the opportunity presented itself. Because much like the corpse of a whale at the bottom of the ocean, a dead dinosaur could sustain a small ecosystem of its own for a while.

Thanks for Reading

This was a very long blogpost, so if you read all the way through it, I much appreciate you taking the time. The topic of predatory dinosaur behaviours is ever evolving as new tests and evidence are presented. The consensus on Tyrannosaurus is currently leaning more toward predator than scavenger, but this study on Allosaurus is still fresh, and despite much of the paleo community opposing this take, evidence against it hasn't been well compiled yet.

If you have any further information you want to present on this topic, I am more than happy to hear it in the Notes, or via inbox. If you know other Palaeontology based topics that you think would be interesting to cover, my inbox and asks are always open.

You can find more articles like this linked in my pinned post.

Credits/Further Reading:

Was Tyrannosaurus rex a Ferocious Predator or a Wimp? (Wilkin & Hone); Frontiers for Young Minds

Allosaurus was not a Carnivorous Predator but a Scavenger during Late Jurassic, Study Finds (Jefferson); The Science Times

Time to slay the T.rex Scavenger Debate (Brian Switek); National Geographic

Tyrannosaurus rex was not a Fast Runner, more a Slow Walker, Simulation shows (David Bressen) Forbes

T.rex: A Hunter AND a Scavenger; The Prehistoric Saga

The Truth About T Rex - Predator or Scavenger; Dangerville - Youtube

[euronymous-files]

The following article was written by Faust in October 2000 and published on the website of the British record label DarkWhispers (darkwhispers.co.uk). Both the label and the website are now closed, but parts of the site can still be found (as of may 2021) through Wayback Machine here. Since I consider this to be a rare document, I thought it would be a good thing to make it available here in its entirety, that is, even the parts that are not strictly about Euronymous. I think what Faust wrote about Dead deserves to be known as well.

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Everyone Knows the deceased Dead and Euronymous; either by name, reputation or activities. These people are by many claimed to be the originators of what has turned into a vivid and extensive Black Metal Underground Movement; an honor they serve through the fact that their lives and also post-existence ensured to gather the complexities of the once so weak and tiny scene, elaborating the basic principles and put it to practice.

These two persons are by many also claimed to be the real Mayhem, what constituted Mayhem in effect. Euronymous had from the beginning engendered and ensured Mayhem's music and riffing, from the chaotic and crushing music that could be found in their Deathcrush-era to the atmospheric yet intensely brutal sonic metal towards their De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas-era.

Dead, with his haunting vocals, made the listener imagine an audio-trip to the lost castles of Transylvania while at the same time giving the impression of just having risen from the grave. Dead lived up to his pseudonym - and he should live even more up to it than anyone would like to imagine.

The last time I ever met Euronymous was in his flat in Toyen, Oslo, in early June 1993. I was at that time playing in Emperor and we were heading towards a mini-tour in England with Cradle of Filth. Euronymous had just closed down his shop, Helvete, as a result from massive media-pressure because of the criminal activities that rose to unexpected heights in the Norwegian Black Metal scene. The plan was to open the shop again in a more visited area of the city and therefore to ensure a bigger economical income. This night I visited Euronymous one last time before going to England and discussed a few matters with him. That was the last time I ever saw him alive.

Emperor returned from England about two weeks later; exhausted and sleepy but with a little broader horizon and richer experiences. I never met up with Euronymous again since I shortly lived at my father's in the north-east of Norway, but I went to Oslo the 10th of August to visit him. The shock was enormous when I was in the middle of the police-investigation and was brought in for interrogation. I couldn't imagine that anyone had killed Euronymous. I wont dwell with the details concerning his death, the people behind it or anything. It has nothing to do with this article. But it's clear that from that point the scene had lost one of his main participants, and in my eyes, the scene would never be the same again. Unfortunately.

Dead died in April 1991, then fully completing and realizing his long-time band pseudonym. I appreciate very much that I got to get known with Dead the time he spent in Norway. He was indeed a strange personality. Posterior to his death; all kinds of myths have been made about him; he was really the personification of an evil madman, according to many. Well then let myths be myths and focus rather on reality as it appear in broad daylight. Dead was a nice man and Dead was a good man (a description many might find "blasphemous" but it still doesn't hide the fact that Dead was a good man). He had his own little view of life, which was constituted by Transylvania, vultures, bats, grim trees (he often went into the woods to paint "grim trees"), graves and non-synthized Black Metal. In despite of his obsession, he was harmless and wanted to leave alone and be left alone.

There's no need to speculate about his death. Sure I have heard the rumors like everyone else, but forget them, Dead died by his own hands. There's neither no need to speculate in why he did it. He is gone and I think his death was the first massive setback for the scene, which was in its early, juvenile stage. This seriously showed us that life is hard and that things might happen independent of what we want.

Nowadays, there is a discussion on various Black Metal chat-rooms, letter-section in Metal-magazines and through the regular forums for dialogues if Mayhem should continue or not. As for me, having known all but one of all the members of Mayhem through history, I choose not to view it that way, but rather look on Mayhem as a complex entity - a driving force - that is inevitable and inexorable, a force that is here to still push the limits that exists in music. This way, Mayhem will never die, a fact that both Euronymous and Dead lived and died in their own days.

[metalrequiem]

having trouble remembering what type is strong against what? look no further!

its always easier to remember things when you know WHY, wouldn’t you agree? so here’s my method of remembering the type advantages, just for you. i do so hope it helps :)

bug > grass : this is the reason why your tomato plant never gives you more than two tomatoes come harvest time.

bug > dark : one time, when i was like six or something, i was wandering around the college my dad worked at (as the head of the it department) with him because he had to do something in one of the tech closets. it was just wires and computers super disorganized; ran the network or something idk i was six. anyway the floor was like, black when we opened the door, but then when he turned on the light it turned fucking white as the carpet of roaches just fucking scattered. i forgot where i was going with this.

bug > psychic : bugs are one of the three most common fears. this will come up again. guess how many times.

dark > ghost : ghost summoning is dark magic (think warlocks). considering they’re the one who summoned it, the dark sorcerer would obviously be more powerful than the ghost.

dark > psychic : once again; dark is one of the most common fears.

dragon > dragon : trust nobody, not even yourself.

electric > flying : the only thing worse than being zapped and paralyzed is being zapped and paralyzed 20 feet up in the air.

electric > water : i mean, this one’s pretty obvious. water + electricity = bad time. (actually, fun fact, distilled water doesn’t conduct electricity - it’s the stuff typically in the water that makes it conductive. i think.)

fairy > fighting : wizards are just inherently more powerful than fighters, i guess. keep that in mind next time you play 5e.

fairy > dark : My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Season 1; Episodes 1 & 2

fairy > dragon : i’m pretty sure this was the reason they made fairy type a thing in the first place? anyway, the knight slaying the dragon to save the princess is like, THE classic fairy tale trope.

fighting > dark : so google tells me that this is a good vs evil thing, where dark is “fighting dirty” (which makes sense considering the moves like nasty plot, sucker punch, etc), and the advantage is that fighting dirty doesn’t mean you’ll win, it actually means you’re more likely to lose. or whatever. fighters are better than rogues is the explanation, actually.

fighting > normal : go ask a black belt to fist fight you. i dare you.

fighting > ice : strong man punch through ice block.

fighting > rock : strong man punch through rock.

fighting > steel : [visibly distressed] s... strong... strong man punch through... steel???

fire > bug : you know how a bunch of kids have that weird part of their lives where they think using a magnifying glass to set a bug on fire with the power of the sun is the neatest shit?

fire > grass : i mean, duh. the more specific example that usually comes to mind for me though is wildfires in like, the savannah. or australia.

fire > ice : fire melts ice. i seen’t it with my own two eyes.

fire > steel : jet fuel can, in fact, melt steel beams.

flying > bug : i mean, bugs do compose most birds’ diets. except for the bearded vulture. that motherfucker eats bones.

flying > fighting : have you ever tried to punch a bird out of the sky?

flying > grass : i guess cause, like, birds live in grass? and they use it to make up their nests? like this type advantage comes entirely from intimidation factor. “i live inside the remnants of your second cousin,” and all that.

ghost > ghost : in basically all ghost related lore/mythology, while they struggle to interact with the corporeal plane, ghosts can interact with other ethereal beings/objects just fine. i guess that extends to beating the shit out of each other.

ghost > psychic : finally, the third of the 3 most common fears.

grass > ground : plants literally grow out of the fucking ground.

grass > rock : saw a dandelion growing out of a crack in the pavement on my walk today. effervescent.

grass > water : water is one of the two required molecules (reactants, kinda? ish?) for photosynthesis. this was a really complicated way of saying plants go glug glug.

ground > electric : ground is a bad conductor. its much easier to punch someone when their powers are completely useless.

ground > fire : throwing dirt is a pretty good way of putting out a fire, actually. it suffocates it, and since fire needs oxygen to burn,,,

ground > poison : rub some dirt on it. also i heard once that if you put dirt/sand/whatever on a wound with poison (like a bite i guess?), it’ll soak some of it up or out or something. its not a solution, but it  would buy you some time i guess. please don’t test whether this is true or not.

ground > rock : honestly? i got nothing. rock come from ground. dust to dust. there.

ground > steel : for one, steel is derived from ground stuff. that seems important? you could look at it from like, a natural vs artificial scenario. like, no matter how invincible we think something we build is, the earth will outlast it and reclaim itself eventually.

ice > dragon : the classic dragon breathes fire, and dragons are generally accepted to be reptiles (which are cold-blooded), so if a dragon’s body temperature fell too low, it’d be a massively crippling blow.

ice > flying : i’m pretty sure that birds can fly if it’s too cold? i mean, it makes sense. you know how it gets harder to feel and control your fingers when it’s cold? i imagine that’d be pretty disastrous for a bird’s wings while it’s trying to fly.

ice > grass : this is another kinda common knowledge one. most types of plants don’t do well in cold weather.

ice > ground : i don’t know exactly how to articulate it, but my head is screaming the word “PERMAFROST” at me repeatedly, so let’s go with that.

poison > fairy : poison is a pretty common weapon of choice for fairy tale villains? like, snow white instantly comes to mind. the princess bride, too. in older stories, there’s, like, the witches in macbeth.

poison > grass : so at its core, this is “poisoning nature”, which could go any number of ways, really, but i think specifically of pollution. there’s no joke for this one. eat the rich.

psychic > fighting : “brains over brawn”. everyone knows this one, lmao.

psychic > poison : i mean, there’s that trope where the protag just wills their way through being poisoned. more realistically, some cultures believe meditation can expel poison/impurities from your body. which is where the idea for the pop culture trope came from in the first place?

rock > bug : do you know that scene in d*sney’s hunchback, sorta in the beginning, where frollo is giving phoebus his absolutely batshit monologue about his plans for genocide and he lifts up a stone to show all the ants under it to visually prove his point about a hideout somewhere in the city and then he flips is and crushes them all to really drive that point home and phoebus is like “with all due respect, jesus fucking christ sir”? yeah.

rock > fire : recall the “put out a fire by suffocating it” thing. rocks work too. i guess.

rock > flying : let’s go throw rocks at birds!

rock > ice : ice melts, but rock is forever. (honestly, i personally think the advantage should actually be the other way around because when water gets in even the smallest crack and freezes, it expands and makes the crack even bigger, rinse and repeat. but there’s nothing i can really do about that lmao).

steel > fairy : y’know, the whole “knight in shining armor” bit. we’ve been over this.

steel > ice : you know what happens if you freeze a sword? you get a cold sword (ignore the fact that it gets brittle - that’s future you’s problem). you know what happens if you hit an ice block really hard with a sword? you wind up with more distinct pieces of ice than when you started.

steel > rock : i guess rock is just. more brittle than steel? weaker? less versatile? who fucking knows.

water > fire : ._.

water > ground : mudd....

water > rock : erosion! don’t think about it too hard.

normal > nothing : that’s the fucking point.

BONUS: the no effect matchups!

normal/fighting X ghost : go punch a ghost.

ghost X normal : go get punched by a ghost.

poison X steel : i mean, this makes sense. steel is the only wholly artificial pokemon type, so it wouldn’t be affected by having something nasty thrown at it. unless it’s salazzle. in which case, fuck you.

ground X flying : can’t get hurt by an earthquake if you’re in the sky. this is where i’d put that meme if i wasn’t too lazy to go find it.

electric X ground : grounded things can’t be electrocuted! or something like that. i don’t know. i told you, my dad’s the it guy.

psychic X dark : so, i actually think about this a lot. think about common fears. the one thing they all have in common is they’re linked with the unknown, somehow. like, basically all fears boil down to the fear of the unknown. people fear animals and bugs because they don’t know what they’re capable of doing to them, or what’ll happen to them if they DO do something to them. people fear drugs/alcohol (like me) because they don’t know what they’ll do or what they’re capable of doing with less self-control. so, that’s cool and all, i hear you say, but what about the fears typed in pokemon? well, ok, bugs. that’s the easiest of the three: you can just research them?? lmao go google that beetle, you’ll be fine. yeah, you’ll still be scared of the ones that you now KNOW can hurt you, but you can psych yourself up and away from that, really. or just avoid them. when it comes to ghosts, it can go one of two ways: either you can explain away whatever it is sparked the fear at that moment in the first place and calm yourself by believing they aren’t real, or you can just accept that, hey, that was a ghost, and coexist with it. chill with the ghost. offer it some cheez its. so again, you can will your way past that fear. the problem with the dark, though, is that it’s essentially the purest form of the “unknown” you can get while also keeping it physical rather than conceptual. if you’re in a dark room, or a dark forest, or the basement with a single, flickering, bulb, you can’t will that fear away. you either fear the dark, or you’re lucky enough to not. there is no way to know whether you’re alone or not. there is nothing to research, nothing to explain. there’s nothing but you, your mind, and the suffocating blackness. in this situation, really, your mind isn’t on your side anymore (again, assuming you have a fear of the dark), so how can you be expected to do anything against it?

dragon X fairy : and they all lived happily ever after :)

[fnaf-is-awesome201]

I want you to talk about dinosaurs

Really? You do?! Hell yeah! Okay, I'm gonna ramble for a bit about dinosaurs so hope you don't mind if you do mind then I'm sorry. This is gonna be a long post, just warning you now.

Okay, so dinosaurs are cool as fuck and I love them so damn much. They’re just so... awe-inspiring. And they’re some of the coolest animals to ever walk the earth. Some were gigantic, with necks that stretched up towards the sky. Others were tiny, maybe even smaller than a chicken. Some had sharp teeth and claws (usually the most memorable ones like T. Rex and such) and some had armor-plated bodies (like the ankylosaurs). I love them all to death and I love how unique and diverse they were! All these fantastic beasts that one day just disappeared forever. I want to see one. I know, that’s crazy, and Jurassic Park shows how that could be a very bad idea, but I want to see one. Not just in the pages of a dinosaur book. I want something I can touch and feel and just see how truly magnificent they were. Dinosaurs like Dilophosaurus, Velociraptor, Parasaurolophus, Edmontosaurus, Albertosaurus and so many more! I want to see them all. How they lived, what they looked like, how they acted...

Tyrannosaurs are some of the biggest carnivorous dinosaurs, with T. Rex being the most famous. No one talks about the other Tyrannosaurs! Albertosaurus, Gorgosaurus, and probably several others yet to be discovered! These were the “tyrant lizards”! They’re big and scary and utterly fascinating! And T. Rex was the king. Tyrannosaurus Rex, or “tyrant lizard king”, was huge! 40 feet long on average and with a powerful bite, I’m willing to bet they were quite a sight to behold! It’s probably the most famous of the dinosaurs, and I can see why! It commands your attention and your curiosity more than most, and it makes for a great movie monster! Those huge teeth and crushing jaws mixed with it’s powerful legs and instinct to hunt make it an exciting creature!

Even so, it was not the biggest carnivorous dinosaur to roam during the Mesozoic! Even Carcharodontosaurus, the “shark-toothed lizard”, was bigger than a T. Rex! Or Giganotosaurus! I suppose T. Rex gained more of a spotlight because it’s easier to say the name, but there are so many other large predatory dinosaurs that deserve attention and public view!

The smaller carnivores are super cool, too! Allosaurus, the “different lizard” (and my personal favorite medium-sized carnivorous dinosaur) had a narrow head and large claws on it’s three-fingered hands. I’ve seen fossils up-close of these guys, and I have to tell you, it’s amazing. It may not be as big as your favorites, but it is an amazing dinosaur! They have horn-like protrusions over their eyes, and a mouth full of razor-sharp teeth. They are absolutely beautiful and fascinating creatures!

And as for Velociraptor, you might know them from Jurassic Park. However, the real velociraptor is not nearly as big as those ones, which stand at about 6 ft. tall. The real velociraptor was about the size of a turkey! At about 2 ft. tall and 6 ft. long, Velociraptor (”speedy/quick thief”) was a tiny terror. They most likely hunted in packs to bring down animals much larger than they are. The sickle-shaped claw on both feet was used to puncture, not to tear. They were quick and effective hunters. They were also intelligent, based on the fact that they had a large brain compared to their body size. I love Velociraptors. I really do. I want to understand how they work, what they looked like, and how they lived.

Then there’s the herbivores! Undoubtedly some of the biggest animals to ever roam the Earth! The largest dinosaur currently on record was the Argentinosaurus (”lizard of Argentina” or “Argentina izard”, etc.), a monstrous titanosaur that was about 120 ft. from head to tail and likely weighed nearly 100 tons (200,000 lbs. or so)! They were huge! bigger than even the biggest land-dwelling animals today! Taller than giraffes, even! And you most likly don’t know the sheer scale of dinosaurs like triceratops or Stegosaurus! I’ve seen a Triceratops skull up-close, and I must tell you it was much bigger tahn I thought it would be! Triceratops was about 30 ft. long, with a neck frill span of about 6 ft. and horns that could reach over 3 ft. long! It was much bigger than your car, to give you some scale! And Stegosaurus is quite a sight even as a fossil! With a length of 21-30 ft. and a height of about 14 ft., this massive dinosaur had a very tiny brain. It’s brain is said to be the smallest brain proportional to body size of any dinosaur (any brain size currently known, that is)! Isn’t that fascinating? I’ve seen them up-close, too, and I can tell you that they have a very small head for such a large animal!

Then there’s hadrosaurs, which are amazing on their own! Look up Parasaurolophus, Lambeosaurus or Iguanodon and you’ll see what I mean! There’s so many more, like Corythosaurus, Oranosaurus, Tenontosaurus, etc.! They were herd animals, staying in large groups and nesting together. There’s even evidence, like in the case of Maiasaura, that they took care of and watched over their young! Most of them were pretty big, but an even more fascinating feature was their crests. These dinosaurs often had large crests on their heads, though their function is still debated. They could have been used to make unique calls or to amplify their calls, or they could have been used to identify each other! It really is interesting to think about it!

Then there’s the real oddballs, such as Psittacosaurus, Saltosaurus, any of the Ankylosaurs, and even dinosaurs like Dilophosaurus (two-crested lizard), Monolophosaurus (one-crested lizard), Spinosaurus, and the Pterosaurs! Ankylosaurs (like Ankylosaurus or Euoplocephalus) were large, heavily-armored reptiles, with Ankylosaurus even having armored eyelids! Their backs were covered in bone plating, and they were often covered in spikes or nodules. Several also had a club of solid bone on the end of their tails! The muscle power, combined with the club, could cause some serious damage! Only the most ferocious or desperate of dinosaurs would dare to try and take on these living tanks! The only way to have an advantage would be to hit it from beneath or to flip it over, which wouldn’t have been easy. Spinosaurus was quite an odd creature. With its odd proportions and dense bones, it was likely quadrupedal to help balance it’s weight. It had large, heavy, hooked claws on its arms and a long skull filled with cone-shaped teeth, perfect for catching slippery fish, but not so good for tearing flesh. They were very top-heavy, and likely walked on their knuckles like an anteater so they didn’t dull down their claws. Then there was the sail. It’s still unknown what exactly this sail was for. It would have made it a bit more difficult to move around, but it may have been used to regulate body temperature or to serve as a display! There’s also a possibility that it had webbed feet! While it may look very weird to us, Spinosaurus was perfectly adapted to life by the water! Dense bones helped keep it submerged, likely with only it’s nose and eyes above the water (like a crocodile), while it’s teeth and claws helped it hunt fish and other water-dwelling creatures! Basically, all of that weirdness had a very unique and cool purpose! Spinosaurus looked very different from the Spinosaurus in Jurassic Park 3, but it’s still just as cool! Then there’s the Pterosaurs. Some as small as bats or small birds, and the largest being about the same size as a small plane! They fill a specific role it the prehistoric world, later filled by birds! Pterodactyl was not a dinosaur, but Pterodactylus was! The largest of these creatures, standing taller than a giraffe and with a wingspan of about 50 ft, was Quetzalcoatlus. It’s thought they were likely scavengers, like vultures, but may have occasionally caught their own food. Some Pterosaurs would travel long distances often to reach their nesting grounds, while others did not. Like bats, Pterosaur’s wings were made up of a skin membrane stretched between the body and the elongated finger making up the outer edge of the wing. They were light-weight animals, and everything about them was evolved to make them perfect and graceful fliers, though this likely made them very awkward when on the ground.

Then there’s also the prehistoric marine reptiles! Mosasurus, Tylosaurus, Plesiosaurs, Pliosaurs, Ichthyosaurs, and many more! Ichthyosaurs were basically like the dolphins of the prehistoric oceans! They had almost fish-shaped bodies and long, usually toothed beaks. I’d definitely recomend looking up a picture of these guys! They breathed air like all reptiles and did not have gills. All prehistoric marine reptiles breathed air, similar to today’s sea turtles or sea snakes. Mosasaurus was a large predatory marine reptile, with lots of teeth and a long, slender body with a powerful paddle-like tail and four flippers instead of legs and feet. Tylosaurs are similar (I think... if I remember correctly...), though if I remember correctly, not all of them had long tails, and some had large powerful flippers instead of a long tail. Plesiosaurs had a very long neck, a small head with interlocking teeth (essentially creating a fish cage), and a large, slender body with a very short tail an four large, powerful flippers. Some of these animals preyed upon other marine reptiles and larger marine creatures, while others only ate fish and other small marine creatures. They’re all so unique and look nothing like anything we have today! And there’s so many more that I haven’t even talked about that I would seriously encourage checking out!

I’ve loved dinosaurs for as long as I can remember. I even still have my first dinosaur book! It’s a neat picture book full of pictures of dinosaur sculptures and dinosaur names! I have a sauropod plushie that I’ve had forever! He’s a little beat up and has a few places where he’s been sewn back up, but I still have him! And I have a model Kronosaurus that I can show you if you’d like! I love dinosaurs so damn much, and I really want to know more about them! I want to know what colors they were and what their skin feels like! I want to see one someday, but until then, fossils are just as good! I FUCKING LOVE DINOSAURS AND THEY’RE SO COOL AND I WANT TO PET ONE SO BAD!

Anyway, that’s my long, rambling post about dinosaurs! I’m glad I got that out! Hope I didn’t confuse you or bore you. I just really love dinosaurs and get super excited and disorganized when I talk about them! I love them so much and they’re really amazing once you start learning about them!

[the-desolated-quill]

Why Spider-Man Leaving The MCU Is The Best News I’ve Heard In Ages - Quill’s Scribbles

Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Did you hear the news? I’d be surprised if you didn’t. EVERYONE has heard the news by now. A couple of days ago it was reported that the deal between Marvel and Sony that allowed the two studios to share custody for the rights of Spider-Man has fallen through. Spider-Man is no longer going to be part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Speaking as someone who is not only a big Spider-Man fan, but also a very vocal critic of the current state of Marvel and Disney’s cynical and convoluted ‘shared universe’, this caused quite a reaction when I first heard the news. I’m as happy as a man who just found out his high school crush likes him back on the same day he won the lottery. Happy, but not surprised. In fact I’m more surprised that other people were surprised by the news. The deal Marvel and Sony managed to strike was almost unheard of. Two rival movie studios in mutual cooperation. Never thought I’d see the day. But if you thought this was going to be the new norm, then I’m afraid you don’t understand this industry. I knew, or at least suspected, that once Sony had a hit on their hands, they’d cut ties with Marvel and Disney. It was only a matter of time. Now that Spider-Man: Far From Home has made over a billion dollars at the box office and now they have found success with their own non-MCU films, Venom and Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, the simple fact of the matter is they don’t need Marvel or Disney anymore. So they’ve flown the coop. Yes it’s possible they could renegotiate the deal, but given how unlikely the prospect of the initial deal was in the first place, I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you. It’s more likely they’re going to take their ball and go home. Sony’s Universe Of Marvel Characters (despite its incredibly clunky name) is now going to be firmly built upon and expanded, and I for one could not be more excited.

Of course not everyone shares my excitement. Disney, for one thing, aren’t happy. Nor are the cast. Jeremy Renner has made his views clear, begging Sony to give the rights to Spidey back. (Perhaps he should focus more on his own character Hawkeye, considering what a mess he’s become). Die hard MCU fans aren’t pleased neither. Same goes for ‘celebrity’ fans like Kevin Smith, a filmmaker who preferred to be called a comic book expert on the Venom Blu-Ray bonus features presumably because he hasn’t actually been relevant as a filmmaker since the 90s. (it’s worth reading his thoughts just for a laugh. He honestly thinks Disney aren’t greedy, corporate bastards. ROFL). And of course the so-called ‘professional’ critics, who for years have deluded themselves into thinking the MCU is actually good, have been writing their own little think pieces about what all this means. Can Spider-Man possibly survive without Iron Man and pals to prop him up? To which the answer is obviously yes. Sony had the rights to Spidey for fourteen years before the Marvel deal. They made five Spider-Man movies, four of which were massive box office successes. They also released Venom and Spider-Verse last year. Both hugely successful and the latter even won an Oscar, which is one more Oscar than Marvel Studios have ever won (sorry Black Panther. You were robbed).Can Spider-Man survive outside the MCU? Gee I don’t know. I guess somehow Sony will find the strength to soldier on without them.

Although, that being said, there’s not as many journalists siding with Disney as I thought there would be. There are quite a few articles explaining how this split could help Spidey in the long run, which is both absolutely true and refreshing to see. Hopefully this is a sign that we’re finally turning a corner and critics are starting to use their brains again. Like how everyone worshipped the ground Steven Moffat walked on until Sherlock Series 4 where everyone realised that he’s actually shit and has always been shit. 

Spider-Man leaving the MCU is the best thing you could do for the character at this stage. The way he’s been treated since joining the Marvel clusterfuck has been nothing short of appalling. I’ve made it no secret how much I detest this version of Spider-Man and some might dismiss what I’m about to say out of hand, perhaps claiming I’m biased because I’ve said numerous times that I love The Amazing Spider-Man films starring Andrew Garfield. Two films I will go to my grave defending because they were bloody good movies. People were just butt hurt because it wasn’t Spider-Man 4. Never mind the fact that the original Sam Raimi films were never that good to begin with (seriously, have any of you actually watched Spider-Man 2 recently? Trust me. It’s not as good as you remember it). No, I promise you that if MCU Spidey existed in a vacuum, I would still hate him just as much for the simple reason that he has absolutely nothing in common with the source material. Under the watchful, Orwellian eye of Marvel, they took Spider-Man, a character most famous for being a working class everyman, and turned him into the most spoilt and privileged little bum-balloon I’ve ever seen.

Spider-Man: Homecoming was a terrible movie. Plain and simple. A cynically produced, written by committee, pile of wank that gets so much of Spidey’s character and story completely wrong, it’s almost impressive. No longer a teenager/young adult struggling to balance his superhero life, his school work, his career and his social life, instead we got a groomed Mary Sue who doesn’t have to fight for anything because everything is basically handed to him on a silver platter courtesy of Iron Man. We never see him struggle. He’s not relatable. He never has to face consequences for his actions. He misses God knows how many classes and debate group meetings and yet he never gets punished for it. Sure he gets sent to detention a couple of times, but we see him leave whenever he bloody wants to. It’s just boring. If there’s no struggle, where’s the tension? And the less said about the villain, the better. Taking an eccentric antagonist like the Vulture and turning him into the stereotypical blue collar dad trying to provide for his family has got to be one of the most uninspired and blatantly lazy bits of characterisation I think I’ve ever seen. And that’s not to mention the supporting cast. Aunt May is youthed for no reason other than to make sexist jokes at her expense with every man that comes within her general vicinity staring at her with their tongues hanging out and eyes as large as saucepans. Minor villains like Shocker and the Tinkerer have their characters reduced to unfunny comedy sidekicks. And then there’s Peter Parker’s gang of racial stereotypes. We have Peter’s best friend, the fat and nerdy Ned who has no real personality other than being fat and nerdy (and is without a doubt the most annoying character in the damn film). Flash has been racebent so now he’s the stereotypical arrogant Asian prick. Michelle has no character other than being the same sassy black teenager who don’t give a shit, a caricature so old now it’s practically been fossilised. And then there’s the love interest Liz, a character so bland and one dimensional that I had to look her name up. Oh and lets not forget that the majority of this Spider-Man’s story was nicked from Miles Morales because people are only going to empathise with his story if it revolves around a white kid, am I right?

You know, I get so frustrated whenever people slag off the Amazing Spider-Man movies and claim that these new movies are better because... well... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I’m sorry, but I was much more invested with Peter and Gwen than I ever was with Peter and... what’s her face? Or Peter and Michelle (who I categorically refuse to call MJ because she’s not MJ, is she? They just used the initials to pander to gullible fans. They didn’t have the guts to just make Mary Jane Watson black, did they? Of course not! We don’t want to alienate the casual racists, do we? They’re our main demographic after all). The reason why Peter and Gwen worked is because they’re well-written, three dimensional characters with great chemistry and whom we actually spend a significant amount of time getting to know. So when Gwen dies at the end of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, it becomes a heart wrenching moment because we’ve grown invested in this character and this relationship. If Michelle were to die in a future movie, I honestly wouldn’t bat a fucking eyelid. Even Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst had more chemistry than those two, and that relationship was a total shambles from start to finish.

It also helps that Peter and Gwen felt like real people. I loved the scene in the first movie where Peter awkwardly asks her out because it reminded me so much of how I asked my first girlfriend out. And that’s why I love the Amazing Spider-Man movies. Because out of all the Spidey films we’ve had over the past 17 years, the Amazing ones are the only ones in my opinion that manage to capture the humanity of the character. As fantastical as the world is, the characters, their relationships and their dilemmas are grounded firmly in reality. Homecoming on the other hand is just embarrassing. Despite casting teenage actors, none of the teenagers actually act like teenagers. They act like five year olds. It’s painfully obvious that the filmmakers are trying to pander to young kids and they clearly don’t know how to write them. Again, this is where the Amazing movies stands head and shoulders above the others. They’re not treated like kids or teenagers. They’re treated like people. Real people. Same goes for the villains. (Yes, even Electro, despite wonky execution).

But the main criticism people have with MCU Spidey is that these films aren’t actually about Spidey. They’re really about the MCU mascot Iron Man.

Now to be clear, I don’t necessarily have a problem with the idea of Iron Man being a surrogate father figure to Spidey. It could work. Captain America: Civil War, despite the clunky and contrived way in which Spidey was introduced to the MCU (oh you just happened to know about a masked vigilante we haven’t seen or heard of until now Tony? Okay. What about Daredevil and Luke Cage?... What do you mean they’re not in the movie?), did a good job of setting up the dynamic. Namely that Tony doesn’t actually care about Peter or his well being, merely using him for his own ends. Unless Americans have some kind of ‘Bring Your Child To A Warzone Day’  I don’t know about. 

Despite its flaws, Civil War was good because it gave us an unsettling look at the characters we’ve been watching for years. We see Captain America consumed by his own naivety and idealism to the point where he can no longer see the bigger picture and we see Iron Man go from being an industrial capitalist to an authoritarian fascist. Homecoming could have followed up on that. Have Spidey realise that Tony doesn’t have his best interests at heart, reject him as a father figure and grow into his own man. Instead the movie seems to go out of its way to undo all the interesting things Civil War brought to the table. Of course Tony cares about Peter! Oh and his relationship problems with Pepper Potts have been magically fixed off screen and now they’re getting married! Relax people, it’s okay! Nothing morally complicated going on here! We apologise for assuming you’re actually intelligent and promise never to make you think about anything ever again!

Not only is this quite insulting to the audience, it also negatively impacts Spidey’s arc. Turns out the movie isn’t about Spider-Man becoming his own man. It’s about him proving he can be an Avenger. He’s constantly in the shadow of Iron Man and, more to the point, we’re supposed to be happy that he’s in the shadow of Iron Man.

Again, this is where the Amazing Spider-Man gets it right. The first movie is very much about father figures. Uncle Ben, Curt Connors and Gwen’s dad all play a role in Peter’s growth and development over the course of the film. He’s able to take all the lessons and advice he gets from the three and use them to become his own man. As director Marc Webb so eloquently put it, ‘it’s a story about a kid who grows up looking for his father and finds himself.’ Compare that to the current iteration of Spidey where Uncle Ben doesn’t even appear to exist in this continuity because he’s been completely supplanted by Iron Dad. Remind me again why people think the Amazing movies are shit?

The latest film, Spider-Man: Far From Home, is no better. Same problems as before only this time Mysterio gets MCU’d to death. Instead of the pathetic loser trying desperately to receive recognition for his talents, we basically get a rehash of the plot from Iron Man 3, which in turn was a rehash of the plot from The Incredibles. Mysterio is basically trying to supplant Iron Man because he got screwed over when he used to work for Stark, and it’s up to everyone’s favourite wall-crawler to stop him because there’s only room in this universe for one Iron Boy. Even when Iron Man is dead, he’s still front and centre of the fucking narrative. Here’s a bright idea. How about we make a Spider-Man film that’s actually, you know, about Spider-Man? (Oh yeah, spoiler alert, Iron Man dies in Avengers: Endgame. Not that it’s really spoiling anything because Endgame is a big piece of shit).

Here’s the thing. Everyone is blaming Sony for the deal breaking down, and okay, I’m not going to pretend that Sony aren’t cynical. As much as I love The Amazing Spider-Man movies, I’m well aware the only reason they exist is because Sony desperately wanted to keep the rights. They spent a stupid amount of money on The Amazing Spider-Man 2 to the point where it needed to make a billion dollars at the box office in order to make a decent profit (a feat only achieved at that time by Batman with The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises) and they crammed loads of characters and plot points into an already overstuffed movie in order to rush out their own shared universe to compete with Marvel. When that didn’t work, they went crawling to Marvel and Disney in the hopes that the MCU could bail them out of the shit. I get it. There’s plenty to criticise. But for the likes of Kevin Smith and other idiots to only blame Sony and defend Marvel is really quite galling to me because Marvel and Disney are just as cynical, if not more so.

Does anyone here actually know what the deal was? Basically the agreement was that Kevin Feige would get lead producer credit for any solo Spider-Man films and Marvel and Disney would get five percent of the cut. Meanwhile Spider-Man would be allowed to appear in any MCU film. Also, because Sony still hold the rights to the character, they get the final say on any creative decision regarding Spider-Man. Or at least that’s the theory anyway. In reality that wasn’t the case. Reportedly Marvel and Disney were so anal about keeping the plot of Avengers: Endgame a secret that they didn’t tell the screenwriters of Spider-Man: Far From Home what happens in the bloody film. And considering that the film follows directly on from Endgame, that’s quite a problem. Sony may have creative control over Spider-Man, but Marvel and Disney can still call the shots, deliberately sabotaging Sony in order to boost hype for their own films. Also Sony are actually worse off in this deal because Marvel and Disney are the ones making all the money. Spider-Man has appeared in three MCU films. Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. All three of these films made Marvel and Disney over a billion dollars at the box office. Sony meanwhile have only made two Spidey movies, Homecoming and Far From Home, only one of which has made over a billion and both of which Marvel and Disney get five percent of the profit. Now that Sony have finally got their billion dollar Spider-Man movie, Marvel and Disney had the cheek to propose that Sony share fifty percent of the profits with them. Because it’s not enough for Marvel and Disney to be making shit tons of money off their own films. No. They also want as much money as they can get out of films made by other studios that are only tangentially related to their’s. God forbid a movie studio should be allowed to keep all the profits from their movie.

So yeah, I’m glad Sony have split and are free to make their own movies again. Because Disney have got such a strangle hold on the entire industry that I’m always happy to see any studio or IP slip through their fingers. And I’m not the only one who thinks this. Do you know who else agrees with me? Stan Lee’s own daughter.

In an interview with TMZ, Joan Lee slammed Disney for their lack of compassion when her father passed away:

“When my father died, no one from Marvel or Disney reached out to me. From day one, they have commoditised my father’s work and never shown him or his legacy any respect or decency. In the end, no one could have treated my father worse than Marvel and Disney’s executives.”

She then went on to support Sony’s decision to break the deal with Marvel, saying ‘whether it’s Sony or someone else’s, the continued evolution of Stan’s characters and his legacy deserves multiple points of view.’

And do you know what? She’s right. She’s absolutely right.

While people were celebrating when Disney bought 20th Century Fox because the X-Men and Fantastic Four were finally going to be part of their precious shared universe, I was watching in absolute horror because nobody was actually talking about the ramifications of this. Disney serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when capitalism goes unchecked. Seeing this mega-corporation consume and absorb other major studios like some Lovecraftian monster is both frightening and heartbreaking for me because the industry is going to be so much lesser for it. Less studios means less movies are going to be produced. It also means less variety in the entertainment we consume. Marvel and Disney have already done their utmost to homogenise and dumb down every MCU film to the point where most of them all feel the same, look the same and have nothing unique or creative about them whatsoever. And now we’re on the cusp of seeing that potentially happening to my most favourite superhero in the whole wide world:

Thanks to the Disney buyout, plans for X-Force and Deadpool 3 have been placed on indefinite hold with people reckoning we won’t see the Merc with the Mouth again until Phase 5 (Christ, give me strength) of the MCU so that Marvel and Disney can work out exactly how to fit him into their shared universe. Naturally the R rated nature of the character makes him difficult to integrate into the PG-13 MCU. Some have suggested toning down the character. Even David Leitch, the director of Deadpool 2, said they could make a PG-13 version of the character, which just feels like such a massive betrayal. After literally years of Ryan Reynolds, director Tim Miller, screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, and the fans fighting tooth and claw to get an R rated Deadpool movie green-lit, it sickens me whenever I see people discussing how a PG-13 Deadpool wouldn’t be so bad and that they just want to see him pop up in an Avengers movie.

Here’s a suggestion. If you can’t make someone like Deadpool fit into the MCU, STOP TRYING TO FUCKING DO IT! Let him be his own separate thing! I’ve got no problem with that! But no. Everything has to be connected to this idiotic shared universe, but here’s the thing, I really don’t fucking care. I couldn’t give two shits if Deadpool and Captain America were to meet in a movie. I just want to see X-Force and Deadpool 3. I just want some good fucking movies. Is that really too much to ask?

The MCU, and by extension Disney, are slowly ruining the industry with this shared universe crap and I’m getting so bloody sick of this. Not only does the premise have absolutely nothing new to offer at this point, it’s also ruining the quality of standalone movies. Instead of telling compelling stories with likeable characters, they’re just adverts for more movies to come with nothing unique to offer. Oooooh, can the Avengers stop Thanos and unkill everyone who we know aren’t really dead because they all have fucking sequels planned? Tune in next week to confirm what you already bloody know! I don’t give a fuck what you’ve got planned for me down the road in ten or fifteen movies time. Right now I’m stuck here at a service station and I’ve got no fucking sandwiches.

Off the top of my head, the only MCU films I can think of that I’ve watched in recent memory and I’ve actually enjoyed are Captain America: Civil War and Black Panther. And do you know why? Because they actually have something to say. They’re not focused on teasing the next bullshit spinoff movie. Black Panther in particular has little to no connection with the rest of the MCU. It works as its own standalone piece and has its own unique voice, commenting on how black people are viewed in society. Civil War takes elements from previous films and goes in an entirely new direction with them, exploring the faults in our beloved Avengers and questioning their role as superheroes. It offers something beyond a tease for the next film. It poses thought provoking questions about the characters and forces us to confront some harsh truths about them. But in an environment like the MCU, where everything is pre-planned by committee, there’s no room for creativity or expression, which means the few good movies get stifled. It’s impossible to continue the themes of Civil War because Homecoming exists to contradict everything. Black Panther is an amazing and impactful movie, but its impact is lessened thanks to Infinity War where we see the Wakandans reduced to little more than cannon fodder so that the real heroes can fight the baddie.

It’s frustrating to see people blindly accept and support the poisonous business model of Marvel and Disney because it’s not normal, it’s not benefiting the industry at large and it’s not even financially viable in the long term. Marvel Studios’ success revolves around one franchise. What happens when the shared universe/comic book movie bubble bursts and people eventually stop watching these films? (and it will happen because it always happens. That’s how trends work). They’re going to be up shit street, aren’t they? At least Warner Bros have Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings to fall back on. Their future isn’t entirely dependant on the success of the DCEU (thank God, some might say).

Also it’s worth noting that studios are slowly starting to move away from the shared universe format. Before the buyout, 20th Century Fox were taking risks with smaller budget, standalone movies like Deadpool and Logan. After the disaster that was Justice League, Warner Bros and DC have recently started focusing more on standalone movies to great success. Aquaman and Shazam, while still part of the DCEU, work as their own independent films. We’ve also got Joker being released in a couple of months time, which I think everyone should be paying really close attention to, because if Joker is critically and commercially successful, it could very well serve as the death knell for the concept of a shared universe. Definitive proof that you don’t need twenty movies and interconnecting stories with massive budgets to be successful. All you need is a very good idea.

Even Sony have finally learnt their lesson. They’ve taken a risk with Into The Spider-Verse and received an Academy Award for their trouble. As for Sony’s Universe Of Marvel Characters, they’re already off to a strong start with Venom. And mercifully they’re not making the same mistakes they did with the Amazing Spider-Man 2 or Ghostbusters. They’re not spending ridiculous amounts of money with unrealistic expectations of success and they’re no longer putting the cart way before the horse. They’re focusing on making a good movie first and worrying about potential expansion later. Venom may not be a masterpiece, but it’s a hell of a lot more entertaining and fulfilling than the majority of MCU films because it tells a complete story with a beginning, middle and end and it has well developed characters that we actually like and grow attached to. And if worst comes to the worst and Sony’s next film, Morbius, doesn’t do well, then they have Venom 2 to fall back on. And if that doesn’t work, they’ll still have Spider-Verse. They are no longer putting all their eggs in one basket and that’s good. That’s the smart thing to do.

Can you imagine something like Venom in the MCU? Of course not! Because Venom has its own unique tone and vision. That’s why it was so successful with audiences. Its mix of dark comedy and campy sci-fi horror made it stand out from the crowd. Marvel and Disney want us to believe that there’s only one way to make a superhero movie, when that’s simply not true. And now that Spider-Man is free to find his own unique voice again, hopefully people will begin to see just how creatively limiting and damaging the MCU truly is.

[shytalia]

A Prince and a Pirate’s Fate - Chapter 3

Summary: When the future King and Queen of the Spade’s Kingdom come of age, a mark appears on their body. Alfred is the kind Prince of Spades, heir to the throne. Arthur is his fated husband, the future Queen. The only problem is, Arthur is one of the most infamous pirates to sail the seas, a wanted man in all four kingdoms, and he violently refuses his place in the castle.

No attempts at capturing him have been successful and he remains on the run, fulfilling his lust for defiance. Alfred, following his nineteenth birthday, decides to take the task of bringing Arthur home into his own hands.

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Also available on my AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shytalia

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Chapter Three

Start at Chapter one here: https://shytalia.tumblr.com/post/611878754309079040/a-prince-and-a-pirates-fate-usuk-fanfic

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The following morning, Alfred woke up with a start. A loud noise aroused him from his slumber in a small inn room overlooking the sea. He was horrified to see the infamous ship beginning to sail away.

“No, no, no, shit!” He threw on some spare clothes and bolted out the door, running frantically to the shoreline where the ship had already left. “Fuck, fuck! What am I supposed to do now?” He yelled out to the sea, causing a few concerned looks from the locals. He looked frantically from side to side, only pausing when he saw a smaller boat not too far down the shore at a different pier. Even better, there was an old fisherman on it.

“Sir!” He waved his arms above his head at the man as he ran towards him, who in turn looked at him as if he were crazy. “Sir, I need to catch that ship there.” He pointed dramatically towards the fleeing vessel. But maybe it was going slow enough for them to catch. “I beg you, take me to it with your boat. I’ll even pay you for your trouble, look.” He dug out a thick bag from one of his pockets, opening it up to reveal shiny gold coins and offered them all to him. He had brought money with him for obvious reasons, but it would be useless to him if he lost Arthur now after he had just found him.

“W-What? I can’t accept this. Young man, this is too much for a simple ride--”

“No time! It’s yours, all I ask if you get me to that ship.” He begged again, urging the greying fisherman to accept his offer. After some thinking, the old man sighed and relented, allowing Alfred to hop onto his boat before preparing for a speedy chase. Thankfully Arthur’s ship hadn’t released their sails fully yet, so they were going at a leisurely pace propelled mostly only by the calm waves. That being the case, it was easy even for a small boat such as this one to catch up to them before they made it even farther out. Their small vessel rocked hurriedly against the current, coming up upon the massive, wooden form.

“Arthur! Arthur, come on! Stop! Arthur!” He yelled, but his voice was hardly audible over the thunder of the waves against the ship.

Their presence did not go unnoticed, however. As soon as Alfred was confident they could over pass the large ship and get in front of it, he was greeted by rifles being pointed directly at them from over the dock. The Fisherman gasped and in his panic turned the boat sharply, not taking into consideration his land-legged passenger.

“Whoa!” The young prince stumbled and fell, crashing into the cold waters below. He managed to resurface, taking a loud gasp of air only to see his only way out, the fisherman, was quickly driving away back towards the distant shore. Wow, did they really go that far out? He could hardly even see the land anymore as he peered into the distance.

A rush of panic pooled over him. He was stuck in the middle of the ocean! He could try to swim back but his heart was already beating hard from adrenaline and the water was cold on his skin, there was no way he was going to have the energy to swim that far without a rest.

What made it worse, he realized the ship he had been so fervently chasing after was now turning back towards him. “Oh no, oh no, oh no,” He chanted, making his last dues with the gods because Captain Kirkland was going to absolutely crush him with that ship. But before he succumbed to the violent waves roaring off the wooden vessel, it slowed and turned slightly, until it came to a halt just a ways away.

Confused and scared, Alfred could feel himself growing tired already as he worked to keep himself afloat. He guessed the sadistic sea captain just wanted a front row seat to watch him die. He really was an idiot, now his kingdom would have no future queen or king.

Just when Alfred started to feel himself start to slip ever so slightly under the water, his energy draining out of him, he heard the distinct smack of something nearby hitting the water. Looking, he could see what looked like a large ring floating towards him. Desperate to find purchase on something solid, he used the last bit of his energy to make his way to it and grabbed it.

He sighed in relief and allowed the ring to pull him slowly closer to the ship and eventually even up towards the deck.

It wasn’t until he actually reached the top that his peculiar situation dawned on him. He was just pulled aboard an infamous pirate ship, one whose crew were guilty of all sorts of inexcusable acts, and now he was at their mercy. He was dragged onto the hard wood and breathed deeply, trying to catch his breath. He could feel the bodies surrounding him without even looking. He knew he had to meet his makers at some point, so he slowly stood up and glanced around at the people who circled him like vultures.

Just as he expected, he was met with various different faces, most of which looked like they wanted to rip him apart piece by piece. Others held expressions of curiosity and a few, much to his dismay, looked openly hungry as they glanced him up and down. He swallowed hard and stood his ground, wondering if he would have fared better in the ocean after all. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by a different familiar voice.

“You bloody, absolute, incomprehensibly stupid git !” The voice yelled, a path between the rough men and women surrounding him parted to reveal the shaggy haired captain storming forth. Without hesitating, Arthur grabbed the prince by his soaked shirt and pushed him against the wooden frame behind him, the only thing separating Alfred from yet another watery struggle down below. “What the hell do you think you were doing? How stupid can you possibly be? Augh! I should have left you to die!” He was practically screaming in the young man’s face, and yet, Alfred only stared at him in awe.

“But...you didn’t.” It dawned on Alfred in a matter of moments. The horrible, vile, quick tempered villain of the seas had shown him some level of mercy. It was against everything Alfred had ever heard about Arthur. “Arthur, you saved my life.”

“Like hell I did, git. Consider yourself in debt.” The British captain grumbled in return, face twisting in disapproval at the accusation that he might have actually saved Alfred just out of kindness. “And it’s Captain Kirkland, to you.” He corrected, finally releasing the younger man with a rough push sideways, causing the boy to stumble away from him.

The blonde pirate took a few steps back from the confused prince, his eyes never leaving him. It was like a predator glaring down its next meal. “Take him to The Hole.”

“Huh?” Without hesitation, Alfred felt large hands grab his arms and start to pull him away. Much to his distress Arthur was not following after them and was fading into the distance as he was dragged away. “W-Wait! Hold on, just let me talk to you for a minute!” He struggled to get out of the iron grip that had him, only for it to tighten as a result and pull him faster.

Alfred found himself thrown into a cold cell deep below the ship’s surface and left to sulk there despite how he tried to convince the pirates to do otherwise. “Let me out! I want to talk to Arthur!” He yelled into the dark air, shaking the cell door with loud clunks. This did nothing to affect his captors and he was left alone to wait.

--- ♠ --- ♠ --- ♠ ---

It was hard to tell how much time had passed as he stayed there in the dim light. He sat on a small cot, hardly better than the damp floor itself but he supposed he should be thankful for it. For a time he waited and listened for any sign of life, but the only sound he could hear was his own breathing and the rumble of the waves outside.

Strangely, it was almost a soothing sound, considering they had nearly killed him not too long ago. The young prince closed his eyes and listened. The waters were powerful and threatening, easily they could grow at any moment and swallow the entire ship whole. Despite this, they rocked the vessel mercifully, and their cycle of kissing the wood helped lull him into a light slumber.

Why did he suddenly enjoy the sound of the waves so much?

They were nice, sure. He had visited beaches and sailed plenty of times to attend to royal duties in other lands, but all those times he had never simply sat and listened. It was like the waves themselves were sirens beckoning him to open his ears and jump in, not some mythical creature.

What was it that had him so unexpectedly fascinated, then?

Was it the ocean's ability to have ferocious, destructive power, only for some divine reason it chose not to use it and gave them compassionate seas instead?

Thump.

Perhaps it is its beauty, the way it shined and sparkled against the sun?

Thump thump.

Or even the way its salt littered the air, forcing him to breathe it in. A familiar scent, where was it from again?

Thump thump thump.

Alfred sighed softly, subconsciously aware of the noise that grew ever closer to his cell. His mind swirled in an attempt to place that taste of salt water dancing on his lips. Where had he tasted it before?

“Oi, are you asleep? Wake the hell up!”

A loud, unforgiving voice startled him from his sleep. He jostled awake, sitting up from his lazy position against the makeshift bed. He stared wide-eyed towards the caged door for the intruder, only to find the one person he actually wanted to see standing on the other side.

“Arthur!” Alfred didn’t try to hold back his obvious joy at seeing the older man, which only earned him another hard scowl.

“It’s Captain Kirkland, you capital tit.” The shorter man corrected quickly. He didn’t move as the prince stood up and practically ran towards the bars, merely inches away from the man he was supposed to marry, but unable to touch him.

“I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t mean to make you so upset.” The wheat blonde’s frown looked sincere, only because it truly was. An aspect Arthur silently thought was too rare in apologies these days.

Still, he didn’t understand why the boy was quite so apologetic about simply calling him by his first name. Of course it was disrespectful to Arthur, he had earned the title through years of work and terror, and did not appreciate some arrogant wannabe from the capital thinking he could address him otherwise. But, most would apologize from fear of punishment, not genuine sorrow. “You must know how important names are, being from the big city and all.” That must be it. There, a certain few names of the rich and powerful ruled everything. But here on the sea? His name nearly ruled it all.

“What? Oh, yeah, I mean, I’m sorry about that too. I’ll call you Cap if you want.” Alfred’s apologetic face quickly upturned with an almost amused smile, before he suddenly remembered something and it shot down again. “I meant I’m sorry for upsetting you last night, you know, at the bar? I wasn’t trying to imply anything. I really just wanted to understand you better. I didn’t know it was a sensitive subject for you and I didn’t mean to make you mad. Are you still upset?”

Of all the things Arthur thought the boy might say, it certainly wasn’t that. He gawked at him for a moment, unable to decide if he should be angry at him for bringing it up again or impressed with his honesty. Though really, what the hell did Alfred care about his feelings? He was a pirate! Not only that, he was one of the most feared captains in all four kingdoms. He wasn’t one to be coddled, but it made him realize, it had been quite a long time since he heard anyone ask him such a compassionate question.

“I...suppose not.” He settled finally, watching carefully as Alfred’s face shifted from worried to a large grin. It accentuated his nice face, really. He looked much better with a smile than that sour face from before. This ‘capital tit’, admittedly, had a nice, goofy smile to accompany his shining, blue eyes. It was like staring into the depths of the ocean itself. Arthur would know, he had done just that many times before, after all. The realization startled him a bit and he cursed himself for losing focus.

“So,” the grinning man beamed at him with a hopeful gaze. “Will you let me talk with you now that you aren’t mad? Just a little bit, so I can get to know you better.”

Now it was Arthur’s turn to smile, though it wasn’t the optimistic, toothy grin Alfred had. No, his was much more sarcastic, and he smirked as if he had just been told a nasty joke.

“Idiot, are you really not understanding the situation you’re in right now?” He placed his rough, calloused hands on his hips as he stared at his hopeful prisoner.

“Huh?” Judging by Alfred’s response, he did not.

“Here you are, on my ship, in my cell, as my prisoner, and you want to talk as if we were just friends?” He said it as if it was obvious his request was insane, since for anyone else it would be! Anyone else in their right mind would be scared shitless being the infamous pirate’s captive. Maybe Alfred really was just plain stupid after all.

“Have you really not figured this out yet? I could kill you...I could torture you...I could make you my play thing then dump you into the sea when you start to bore me.” His face twisted sharply, his Cheshire grin roughening at the edges. “I thought about it, you know? It wouldn’t be hard, after all. I could make you do whatever I wanted and there would be nothing you could do to stop any of it.” It was a face of such sadistic pleasure that Alfred had never seen a human morph like that before. It sent a chill down his spine as his eyes unwillingly locked on it, unable to force them away.

Ah, there it finally was. The fear.

Alfred’s stance stiffened and his blue eyes watched the captain carefully, even when Arthur stepped closer. His gaze remained on the pale man before him, even as said man broke the distance between them, reaching through the bars and caressing his face. It stung a little, he could only guess there was a dark bruise left from when he had been punched the night before. The touch was so gentle though, Alfred swore it had to be someone else’s hand. But it wasn’t, it was Arthur’s, and he smelt like sea salt.

Alfred swallowed the lump forming in his throat, “But...you haven’t.” He stated simply.

The hand on his cheek paused suddenly.

“What?” Came the surprised reply. Even if it was hidden deep under a low, dark mumble, Alfred could hear the confusion.

Alfred grew bolder and was quick to reply. “You haven’t hurt me yet, but you’ve had more than enough chances to.” The prince reiterated. Without thinking, he reached up and grabbed onto Arthur’s cold hand that still lay dormant on his cheek, gripping it gently in his own warm one. “From the stories I’ve always heard about you, you’re ruthless. You’re violent and you won’t hesitate to kill anyone who gets in your way. But I can tell that’s not all you are, I know it’s not. You saved my life, cage or not, I’d be dead if it weren’t for you. You even held a knife to my throat for gods sake, Arthur, but I’m still here. Anyone else would call you a monster for it but I don’t see you that way. I don’t think you’re as heartless as people say you are.”

It was Arthur’s turn to go wide-eyed. His emerald eyes sparkled with so many emotions that Alfred could hardly keep up with them all. There was confusion, first and foremost. Denial, skepticism, doubt, and if he was right, a hint of fear.

The Brit jerked his hand out of the prisoner’s soft grasp, somewhere between fuming and disbelief. “Do not doubt me, I will make your life hell on earth.” He spit. And with that, the captain stormed away and out of The Hole.

“Cap? Hold on, wait! Arthur!”

But his cries were ignored, heard only by unsympathetic walls and the pacing sea.

--- ♠ --- ♠ --- ♠ ---

[namorres]

upside down.

pairing | peter parker x reader

word count | 2212

warnings | none

NOTE: *Set pre Infinity War cause ya girl (mel) STILL hasn’t seen it so no spoilers please and thank you very much*. Hi I guess I’m back again. I need to stop floating back and forth between blog and life but ugh I’ve been busy anywho forgive the messiness of the post there’s a lot of dialogue 

avengers masterlist | request

____

You had become intrigued by the sensation that was sweeping YouTube. ‘Spider-Man’, as he called himself, often took care of the minor crime that happened around his city, helping out the citizens in any way that he could. The buzz after what had happened during homecoming with Vulture was still pretty new, and everyone at Midtown was claiming that they were saved by or had spoken to the bug. 

Yet, you hadn’t even seen Spider-Man, let alone talked to him. Although, maybe that was a good thing. You weren’t one known for getting into trouble, and besides, he was a superhero- poking his head where trouble thrived. While there were many upsides to having someone protecting Queens, there was one major downside- Peter seemed to be roped into his life more than anyone. Always reporting on him, always claiming that he knew him personally, using Spidey’s status to get Flash to leave him alone. 

You missed your best friend. Not to mention your massive crush on the boy. Without Peter around to distract you from the stares and teasing glances from your classmates, you felt alone. Even Ned seemed to always be busy. You had two theories: 1. That Peter was Spider-Man or 2. They were avoiding you for the sake of avoiding you. At this point, you thought either could be probable, but you didn’t have evidence for either. You knew that if he were Spider-Man, then he’d tell you when or if he were ready to trust you with that information. But… surely Ned knew didn’t, he?

One day after school, you made your way to Peter’s apartment to do homework like you always did, even if no one was going to be home. You didn’t see Peter on the train there, so you assumed he had something going on as usual. You opened the door and May smiled at you, chatting away at something you were only half paying attention to. You opened up messenger on your phone, about to text Peter, but decided against it. You guessed that he wouldn’t reply until the early morning and you weren’t in the mood to hear his excuses as to why he wouldn’t answer you. 

You moped in his room, flopping on his bed and beginning your homework, pushing the worry that he might not be okay out of your mind, and not stopping until it was dark out. You sighed and packed your things, upset that it was almost eleven and he still wasn’t home. You said goodbye to May and began walking home. Slipping your earbuds in, you stuffed your hands in your pockets and hoped that music would drown out your insecurities. 

You didn’t hear or see the man hiding in the shadows behind you as you walked through an alley. He pushed you against a building and held a knife to your throat, about to start rifling through your stuff. A scream bubbles through your throat and faster than you could think, a masked hero came to your rescue. You yelped as you watched the scene unfold and the robber ran, webs clinging to his back tightly.

“And stay away!” Spider-Man called. You were too stunned to move, gripping your chest to steady your breathing. He seemed to notice your presence once more and walked up to you slowly. “Are you alright miss?”

You nodded quickly. “Y-yeah. Thanks.”

“You know, you probably shouldn’t be walking home this late.”

“I always walk home from my friend’s place, but I’ve been waiting for him to get home, and he never does until late. Hence, the giving up waiting for him and walking in a dark alley at eleven at night.”

“W-well, I’m sure he feels bad about leaving you alone at his apartment. And I’m sure he misses hanging out with you, but he’s probably busy.”

“He always seems to be busy nowadays… thanks again Spider-Man. Maybe I’ll see you around someday.”

“D-do you want me to take you home? Like I said, it isn’t safe to be walking this late.”

“Why not? It’s probably faster.”

You walked over to him and thanked the heavens silently that the darkness was hiding your blush. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he swung around neighborhoods and between buildings. The world seemed different from this high up. He landed you carefully in front of your apartment building and you gave him a pointed look.

“How do you know where I live?” You asked carefully. He sputtered for a few moments before coming up with an obviously fake excuse.

“Just a hunch. Most houses are in this complex coming from the way you were walking.”

You were too tired to question it, and thanked him once again, waving and turning your back as you headed inside. Your parents lectured you about time and curfew, but you didn’t care enough to pay attention. You kept thinking back to the Spidey, and how his voice seemed awfully familiar.

The next morning, you were walking through the halls of Midtown, when you heard someone calling your name.

“Y/N! Hey Y/N wait up!!” You turned around, and there was Peter Parker himself, running to catch up with you. “Hey! It’s been a while.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to be angry or annoyed with him for ignoring you. He seemed genuinely happy to see you now. You gave a small smile and continued walking with him by your side. “Hey, Pete.”

“How are you? I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve talked.”

“Well, it kind of has. You’ve been so busy it feels like you’ve forgotten I’m your friend.”

“Y-yeah. About that… I’m really sorry. There’s just been a lot happening and I haven’t had time to say anything to you. But I’m here now! So tell me, anything new happen?”

“I ran into Spider-Man last night. Although, he’s more of a Spider-Boy if you ask me. I was walking home from your place last night and he gave me a lift home.”

“I-I’d say he’s definitely manly. You just gotta give him the chance.”

“Sure Peter. Whatever you say.”

The two of you talked all the way to class, and throughout the rest of the day. He even came back to his apartment with you after school. Things were finally beginning to feel normal again until the evening hit. You were reading out on your fire escape when you felt a pair of eyes on you. You glanced up and yelped, almost dropping your book as you saw Spider-Man staring back at you, perched on the railing in front of you.

“Geeze. Stalking me now, are you?” You joked. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“No, no, nothing like that. I thought we could talk. If that’s alright with you. Also just wanted to make sure you got home safe again today.”

“Oh, well, thank you. Here I am. Safe and sound. So, no bad guys to take down today?”

“Surprisingly. It’s a slow day.”

“Well then, Spider-Man, tell me about yourself. Are you really a man or are you just parading as one?”

“How come no one thinks I’m a man?”

“Because you sound like a pubescent teenage boy. A voice modulator might do the trick.”

“So I’ve been told…”

You giggled and Peter was glad that you couldn’t see his blush beneath his mask. He had begun to develop a crush on you, another reason he had been avoiding you besides superhero obligations. He couldn’t help but want to hold your hand in school or kiss you at your locker, but he couldn’t find the right words to say to you. Luckily, that’s what Spidey was for. 

You didn’t know his secret identity- even though he really wanted to tell you- which meant he could talk and attempt to flirt with you without you knowing it was him. Which brings us back to the present. Here he was, sitting on the railing of your fire escape, talking to you with the confidence he wish he had with the mask off.

“Alright, I’ve gotta ask. What made you become Spider-Man to begin with?”

“It’s a long story… but I’m happy that I get to help those around me. Anything that I can do to help keep Queens a little safer.”

“That’s really brave of you Spidey.”

The two of you talked through the evening, laughing as if you were old friends. Conversation flowed so easily between the two of you, and you talked late into the night. You didn’t realize how late it had become until you yawned mid-sentence.

“You should head home Spider-Man,” you began, “I gotta get to sleep, and Peter’s gonna kill me if he finds out I didn’t sleep again.”

“Peter?” He tried to sound as if he didn’t know who she was talking about.

“Peter Parker. Some say he knows you? Either way, he’s my best friend and the last thing I need is to be falling asleep during class again.” You giggled again thinking about him. He made you happier than anyone had in a long time. You gathered your thoughts and turned back to the web-slinger. “Will I see you again?”

“Definitely. Oh- and this Peter guy, he seems pretty great.”

“He is. He really, really is.”

You met up with Spider-Man every evening on your fire escape from that day on. Sure, Peter could have just hung out with you like a normal person, or he could entertain this a little longer. He settled on the latter but began to worry when you weren’t at your place one night. He swung around until he found you walking through the same alley he met you in as Spidey. You seemed to be walking toward his apartment this time. He swung down and latched onto a roof, lowering himself upside down to get your attention. You smiled when you saw him.

“How’s it going?”

“Good good… I was looking for you but you weren’t at your place.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry I’m headed to Peter’s- movie night Fridays. An old tradition.”

‘Of course, I can’t believe I forgot.’ Peter mentally kicked himself. He was about to say something when he heard collective screams and he knew he was needed elsewhere.

“Looks like the city needs their Spider-Man.”

“Y-yeah,” he thought for a moment before speaking again. “Kiss for good luck?” He was scared that you’d laugh and run off but instead, you walked closer to him, lowering his mask just above his nose. Peter couldn’t believe this was actually happening. You pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, the both of you a giggling mess considering kissing upside down was very awkward. You weren’t really able to kiss him properly, but you both were smiling during it all the same. You stepped away from him, smiling and blushing brightly. He smiled just as widely and pulled his mask down, turning himself upright and swinging away to save his city. 

You continued your walk to Peter’s apartment reeling. You had just kissed Spider-Man. Why though? Why would you kiss someone who was basically a stranger? But he didn’t feel like a stranger. When the two of you talked conversation was easy, you were able to bounce back and forth between topics quickly and happily. Kissing him didn’t feel wrong- in fact, it felt like the exact opposite of wrong. But it’s not like you could date a superhero and not know who he was beneath the mask. 

Sighing quietly, you stepped inside his apartment, calling a hello to May and wondering where on earth Peter was. It was about time you told him about your little “meetings” with Spider-Man. As you stepped into his room, you couldn’t believe the sight you saw. 

There Peter was, crawling on the ceiling. Your jaw dropped, you couldn’t believe the small hunch you had was right. Not to mention, everything else seemed to make sense now: the easiness of talking to him, how he knew where to find you, the kiss… holy mother of- you kissed Peter Parker!!

“P-Pete?” He fell from the ceiling the second he heard your voice. He tugged his mask off and closed the door quickly.

“Y-Y/N!! Hi! Okay, so I know this looks bad but-” You hugged him tightly, stopping the words that were tumbling out of his mouth.

“I can’t believe it’s you…” you whispered. Once the initial shock wore off, he wrapped his arms around you tightly.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long,” he mumbled against your temple. You smiled but not before pulling away and smacking his chest.

“I can’t believe you!! This whole time I thought you were lying or avoiding me! You- you got me to kiss you!!! I can’t-”

He cut you off with another kiss, right side up this time. “It wasn’t bad though, was it?” He asked cheekily. You were dazed, still a little upset, but overall still extremely excited.

“So you’re telling me that my boyfriend is Spider-Man?”

“If you’ll have him.”

“I don’t know, I mean, he’s pretty weird. He kissed me upside down.”

“Says the girl who let him.”

You giggled and slipped your arms around his shoulders, placing one final kiss on his lips.

“Touché.”

[musicgoon]

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Adrinette May April, Day 9: Jealousy

Summary: Marinette’s friends will always be there for her, no matter what.

AO3 Link

@adrinetteapril

Me: Okay, let’s try to keep these chapters short, like under 1k words. 

Me, after writing the chapter: Did I say under 1k? I meant under 3k, hahahaha.

Here’s a fun drinking game for this chapter: whenever someone smiles, nods, or blushes, take a shot.

“You know, this is kinda creepy,” Marinette said.

“What?” Adrien said, putting his hand on his chest in mock offense. “Blindfolding someone, shoving them in the back of your car, and whisking them away to places unknown is creepy?”

“Yeah, I’m definitely getting some serial killer vibes here,” she joked. “Where are we going, anyway?”

“You’ll see in a second; we’re almost there.”

The limo slowed to a stop at the side of the road, and Adrien got out and jogged around to Marinette’s side. At the sound of the door opening, Marinette reached her hand out and groped blindly about. Adrien caught it in his and pulled her from the car.

He waved at the Gorilla. “We’ll be back in about two hours or so.”

The man grunted and settled into his seat. Adrien wondered what he did while he waited for him. Did he read? Sleep? Play flappy bird on his phone?

“Hmm... the smell of gasoline in the air... the sound of water slapping against wood... are we at the Couffaine’s houseboat?”

Dammit.

“Maybe we are, maybe we aren’t.”

Marinette smirked.

Adrien led her along the gangplank, walking backwards with both of his hands holding hers.

She tripped when she reached the end, falling into Adrien’s arms. She grasped his shoulders to steady herself, and smiled up at him, still blindfolded. Adrien could feel his face turning red.

“SURPRISE!”

Marinette jumped out of his arms and ripped her blindfold off, blinking the sun out of her eyes.

“Wha- but, it’s not my birthday?”

“It’s a ‘just because’ surprise party,” Alya said.

Every member of their class, except Lila and including Chloe, were there. Honestly, Adrien was worried about the boat’s weight limit.

(When Alya had pulled Adrien aside to explain her plan to cheer Marinette up, Adrien had responded enthusiastically. He quickly volunteered to be the one to get Marinette to the party. Alya had thought that was a great idea.

“Don’t give her a choice,” she’d said. “Just tell her you’re taking her somewhere.”)

Marinette’s face split into a smile, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes.

“I- wow. This is- Thank you, everyone.” She wiped at her face.

Adrien squeezed her shoulders in a side-hug. Someone in the crowd of students whooped.

“Alright, mateys!” Anarka said, hands on her hips. “Now that the girl of the hour is here, let’s take sail before the vultures start circlin’.”

She and Ivan pulled the gangplank in, then she started up the boat’s motor. The ship lurched into motion and headed down the Seine. There was still a chance that someone would recognize Marinette from the shore, but at least the privacy laws protected them from the worst of the tabloids. Not that the laws would have much power over a person with a cell phone and a twitter account.

“Finally!” Alix crowed. “Let’s eat!”

The pink haired girl made a bee line for the sunroom/sitting room combo.

Someone had set up a white folding table covered with all sorts of sweets and snacks. People ambled over to it, patting Marinette on the shoulder and greeting her as they passed by. Marinette shot them all a shy smile.

Nino came up beside Adrien and Marinette and chuckled. “Alix’s been complaining that she wanted to eat the entire time she’s been here, and she was one of the first to arrive.”

He glanced at Adrien’s arm still around Marinette’s shoulders and shot him a wink and a discreet thumbs up. Adrien flushed and pulled his arm back.

“Marinette, did you see? There’s a ping-pong table on the upper deck. Wanna play with me?” Alya asked.

Marinette laughed. “Sure. But I’m terrible at it.”

“Me too. It’ll be great. Let’s go.”

Alya pulled Marinette through the crowd towards the back of the boat. Adrien’s lips turned up into a fond smile. Alya was such a good friend.

“It’s good to see her smile again,” he said.

Nino nodded. “That’s for sure. I’ve never seen her that down before. Not even back in sixieme when her best friend moved away.”

“‘Your greatest secret has been revealed and now you are in the middle of a massive media storm and also your family is in danger’ isn’t quite on the same scale as ‘your childhood friend moved away.’”

Nino gave a rueful laugh. “True.”

The two watched the girls play ping-pong in a companionable silence.

Alya served and Marinette missed the return. She scrambled across the deck to retrieve the ball. Marinette served and Alya missed the return. They kept up like this, occasionally hitting the ball back to their own surprise.

“You’d think that Ladybug would be better at stuff like that, wouldn’t you?” Nino said.

Adrien hummed thoughtfully. Ever since he found out that Ladybug was Marinette, he’d noticed something. It wasn’t that Marinette was better put together as Ladybug, (well, she was, but that wasn’t the point) but rather  that whenever Marinette really needed to step up to the plate she was always confident and sure footed, even when she was out of the mask.

Marinette stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth, her face scrunched up in concentration, and slammed the ball into Alya’s side of the table, sending it flying past her and over the side of the boat.

The two girls ran over to the railing and peered over the side in shock. Then they both burst into laughter, Marinette shining as brightly as she ever did.

“Soo... How goes it with Marinette?” Nino elbowed Adrien in the side and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“What do you mean?”

Nino snorted. “Don’t give me that. I’ve seen all the ladybugs you doodle on the side of your notes, and the way you blushed whenever Ladybug was around. And don’t forget all the lovesick sighs whenever someone mentioned her. You’ve been super tight with Marinette ever since everything went down. You’re always standing near her or touching her.”

“It’s not like that. I think she likes someone else.”

“Dude,” Nino said flatly.

“Hey guys!” Marinette said brightly from behind them. Her face was flushed a delightful pink and her eyes shone.

Adrien started. He hoped she hadn’t heard what they were talking about. He didn’t know if he could handle getting shot down by the same girl twice.

“We kind of lost our ball.”

“We saw,” Nino said.

“Oh, Marikins~”

Chloe latched onto Marinette from behind with no warning. She held out her phone at arms length and snapped a selfie. She withdrew her arms and began tapping away at her phone.

“Everyone is going to be so jealous. ‘Hanging out... with my bff... Ladybug.’”

“Don’t post that until after the party is over,” Adrien warned.

Chloe stopped typing and pursed her lips.

“I guess you’re right. We don’t want anyone to interrupt our time together, right Marikins? Tomorrow let’s hang out and go get manicures! You can come too Adrikins. Then we-” Her phone ringing cut her off. “Hello? What do you mean they’re out of stock?”

Chloe stomped off, haranguing the poor soul on the other side of the phone, and Marinette heaved a sigh of relief.

Over Marinette’s head, Alya and Nino seemed to be having some sort of silent conversation made up of quirked eyebrows, significant looks, and nods. Or rather, Alya was trying to have a silent conversation with Nino, who just scrunched up his face in confusion and shook his head. Finally, Alya rolled her eyes and dragged Nino away.

“We’re going to go get some food. You two have fun,” she said.

Marinette blushed, and she shyly looked up at Adrien.

“Do you want to, um.” She gestured towards the railing.

“Sure.”

Behind Marinette Ivan gave him a thumbs up and Mylene nodded encouragingly. Did everyone know about Adrien’s crush? At least they were all cheering for him.

Adrien and Marinette went over to the side of the boat and leaned against the railing, looking out at the plants and buildings that lined the river.

“I love the view along the Seine. Everything is a mixture of the old and new. There’s so much history and so much potential. It reminds me of why I fight to save Paris.” She had a faraway look in her eye and a wistful smile.

“Yeah, it’s really beautiful,” he said, not looking away from her face.

They stood there in silence for a little while, their arms touching. Wind ran gentle fingers through their hair, and the occasional cloud passing overhead gave welcome shade from the unseasonably hot October sun.

“Look! Look! Mommy, it’s Ladybug!”

A little girl in a pink dress on the walkway nearby was pointing at them. Her hair was pulled back in pigtails and she had a ladybug plush clutched in one arm.

Marinette smiled and waved at her.

Murmurs of ‘Ladybug?’ and ‘Is that really her?’ came from the other pedestrians. Soon the walkway was crowded with people calling out for Ladybug and waving their hands back and forth.

Marinette’s smile became fixed; her wave, hesitant. Before all this she’d never shrunk away from the admiring crowd. But now... Adrien hated that such a thing was ruined for her.

“We should go down below before any more people get here,” Adrien suggested gently.

She nodded and he hesitantly placed his hand on the small of her back. When she didn’t draw away, he pressed more firmly and she let him lead her across the deck and through the sunroom to the stairs.

Several of their classmates scowled at the shouting people with no effect. Alix made a rude gesture and Adrien winced. He was not looking forward to seeing that on the internet later.

The wooden stairs thudded reassuringly under their feet as they descended. Adrien had been below deck on yachts before, but that was nothing like the cosy combined kitchen and living room they found themselves in. It was small and a bit cluttered. Guitar music floated through the air. It felt more like a home than Adrien’s actual house.

Marinette breathed deeply in the way Adrien now knew meant she was holding back her emotions. She sat down on a low, yellow couch and Adrien took both of Marinette’s hands in his and squeezed them.

“I’m going to get you something to drink. I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispered.

He jogged back up the stairs and headed to the snack table.

“Water, water, where’d they put the water?” he mumbled under his breath.

“Here,” said a voice from behind him. They nudged his arm with a cool plastic water bottle. “They’re in a cooler under the table.”

Adrien turned and took the bottle from Nathanael.

“Thanks.”

Nathanael shrugged. “How’s she doing?”

He picked at the label on his own water bottle and refused to meet Adrien’s eyes. Adrien knew the other boy still harbored feelings for Marinette, but surprisingly it didn’t bother him.

“She’s... alright. She’s strong, she’ll pull through. She’s just been shaken by everything that’s happened, and this kind of brought it back?”

Nathanael nodded, and they lapsed into an awkward silence.

“You should probably go back below... She needs- well, you’re good for her.”

Adrien bid a stilted farewell and headed back to the stairs, careful not to make eye contact with anyone else.

At the bottom he came to an abrupt halt at the sight of Marinette sitting next to a black and blue haired boy, her body pointed towards him. She giggled uncontrollably into her hands, her shoulders shaking with mirth, and the boy (Luka, Juleka’s brother from the music festival, Adrien remembered) smiled warmly back at her.

Adrien couldn’t see the expression on Marinette’s face, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to.

“So then she says, completely deadpan, ‘I’m a pretty princess.’” said Luka.

Marinette burst into a fresh round of giggles. “I’m sure you’ve never let her live that down.”

“Definitely not. Every time I catch her doing her makeup I ask her if she’s a pretty princess.”

Adrien plastered a smile on his face, strode over to the couch, and handed her the water bottle, making a point to look at Marinette and only Marinette.

“Here you are.”

Marinette beamed brightly up at him, the events of several minutes ago forgotten.

“Thank you, Adrien.”

Adrien sat down on the couch next to her, as close as he could without pressing his body up against hers. Marinette turned so she was facing straight ahead, not towards either Luka or Adrien. He was counting that as a win.

“Luka was just telling me about the time Juleka got into her mother’s makeup case back when she was in ecole maternelle.”

Adrien’s smile became a little bit sharper as he turned to nod at Luka. He couldn’t ignore the other boy anymore without being unbelievably rude.

“Oh?”

Luka nodded. “And thus started a makeup experimental stage that’s lasted the last ten years. Mom loves it. She bought her a huge makeup kit with all sorts of colors.”

Marinette smiled wider at the both of them, and Adrien felt the jealousy gripping his heart soften.

“Hey Adrien, I saw that you were in that class photo reshoot you guys took for Juleka last year. I just wanna thank you for that. I know my sister doesn’t always show her emotions well, but it really meant a lot to her.”

“Oh, uh, you’re welcome? I don’t think I did anything special...”

“Yeah you did. You’re a good guy, Adrien.”

Why did Luka have to be so nice? If he was a jerk, Adrien could get in between him and Marinette with no guilt. But no, Luka had to have everything. He lived a carefree life on a houseboat with an easygoing mother. He played in concerts and could come and go as he pleased. If he dated Marinette, he’d never have to cancel because his father scheduled a last minute photoshoot or because he was grounded because he hit the wrong note while playing the piano.

(Adrien honestly had no idea how his father would react to the idea of him dating Marinette. He didn’t think his father would be open to Adrien dating anyone at all, let alone letting him be exposed to the danger that would come along with being Ladybug’s boyfriend.)

If... if Marinette chose Luka, Adrien would step aside. Her happiness was the most important thing to him, and even if it hurt like hell, he’d support her. But he was selfish. As long as he had a chance he’d hold onto it. Luka and Marinette weren’t dating yet; he still had time to win her over.

[latenightcinephile]

#863: ‘The Last Seduction’, dir. John Dahl, 1994.

Well, the mid-90s were certainly a weird time for filmmaking. This film is one of the temporary resurgence of the neo-noir in American filmmaking, when the rigid gender policing was less enforced and filmmakers were more interested in dissecting the role of the femme fatale. Most of these films have fallen out of popular favour because, for them, ‘dissecting the role of the femme fatale’ meant ‘make a sexy woman who the male audience will find attractive because she can crush your gonads with a cold gaze, but it’s okay! She’s fictional’. These films have not really grappled with the female character on a deep level, is what I’m saying. Sadly, despite some whip-cracking dialogue, The Last Seduction is no exception. I was willing to go along with its absurdity, but the film decided to take a hard turn into the weeds at the end and I just refused to follow it.

The Last Seduction had a lot going for it: Linda Fiorentino as the femme fatale, Bridget Gregory/Wendy Kroy; Bill Pullman as her devious husband, shrugging off his usual role as the dependable father/President; Peter Berg as the well-meaning schlub who quickly becomes Bridget’s target. All these actors have great agility within their roles, and in the case of Fiorentino, if she hadn’t been immediately typecast as the ‘sexpot’ (to quote most synopses of this film) she would have been pretty effective in most comedy hybrids throughout the decade. She could more or less have taken the same career trajectory as Anjelica Huston.

These three are working in the confines of a plot that beggars belief, though. Bridget steals the money from her husband’s heist, and moves to a small town where she immediately grabs hold of Mike (Berg), quite literally, and tries to sway him to kill her husband. In doing so, we learn a few things about Bridget: she’s cunning, she’s amoral, and she has a neat party trick in that she can write legibly, both upside-down and backwards. This last fact is repeated so often in this film that it is the only reason that the plot actually lifts off: Clay (Pullman) discovers Bridget’s alias as a result of this.

Before I go further into detail here, it’s worth raising the concept of limited diegesis, which is a quick way of saying that the only things that seem to exist in this film’s world are those that are shown on screen. It’s something that usually escapes audience attention until later, and it’s a pretty common source of fridge logic. The Last Seduction suffers from a terminal case of it. So, Bridget takes the alias ‘Wendy Kroy’. She comes up with this so readily that it’s clear to the viewer that she’s considered it before, but it’s clearly not something Clay knows about, as he doesn’t immediately search for his larcenous wife under this name. It’s only when he sees a ‘New York’ poster reflected in the bathroom mirror that he remembers Bridget’s party trick and realises: weN kroY. A nice detail to utilise again, right? A nice payoff?

Okay, hold on. Clay sees this poster explicitly, as part of a scene in the film. There are no doubt dozens of other reflections he sees in his everyday life, but only this one seems significant to him. Likewise, the letters weN kroY don’t seem to mean much, but Clay immediately fishes the ‘dy’ out of thin air and starts hunting for ‘Wendy’. This works, on the surface, because we already know the name and are just waiting for Clay to catch up. We don’t see the massive leaps of logic required.

Time for a spoiler, which I don’t care about because this film is not great: Bridget kills Clay and Mike goes to prison for it. Once again, limited diegesis comes into effect. There is one thing Mike can think of that might get him off the hook for murder: a label on a mailbox. Cut to Bridget retrieving and burning the label. There must be dozens of details that implicate Bridget, or at least indicate that she’s stolen nearly a million dollars. Because the film only shows us one, and because Mike can only think of one, that’s all that is assumed to exist.

This needn’t be fatal, but The Last Seduction does this again and again, and the dialogue is not good enough to distract from it. There are good moments: a local is hired by Clay to watch Bridget’s new house, and Bridget immediately offers him cookies while laying tyre spikes behind his car. A few moments aren’t enough to make this compelling. And then there’s the big twist.

Somehow, Bridget had found out that Mike’s short-lived Vegas marriage was to a trans woman. The way the film plays out suggests that Bridget knew this on her first meeting with Mike, but the film doesn’t establish how she knows this. This reveal is played to awful transphobic effect, as it somehow drives Mike to buy fully into what he sees as Bridget’s rape and murder ‘fantasy’ (which is just a ruse to get Mike to ‘confess’ to the murder, because of course it is). Quite how this triggers Mike into behaviour he’s previously steered well clear of is also never explained. In any event, it’s an awful, meaningless reveal, there only because a neo-noir should have plot twists. It makes no sense. It’s offensive. It left a bitter taste in my mouth.

In an interview with Vulture, Peter Berg suggested (as well as outright saying that Fiorentino was a real-life awesome sexpot) that nobody on the set told him that the actress playing his Vegas wife was a trans woman, which in itself feels symptomatic of a bigger issue. It’s as though they couldn’t make a compelling female character without finding another minority to play for cheap shock. Berg seems like a decent guy about it all, and the interview reads like he wants to play into the reader’s fantasy without offending his co-stars or his sensibilities, but it’s still kind of gross.

Oh man, The Last Seduction. I wanted to like this film. I like neo-noir as a concept. But I don’t think anyone thought any of this through.

I, just... ugh. Avoid. Avoid avoid avoid.

[marvel-lucy]

The Fall, chapter 9

You want more overwritten melodrama? No? Well sorry, here’s some anyway. Complete story Masterlist is here

Steve flung himself forward, in a horrible mirror of seventy years before, but he was too late. By the time he reached the edge of the fissure, there was nothing to see.  The grinding sound of the earth gradually settled down but still Steve didn’t move.  He lay on the shattered floor, not caring as broken concrete dug into his body and dust settled out of the air onto his tear-streaked face.  For years, he had suffered the same nightmares, watching Bucky fall and unable to reach him, and now it had happened again.

Finally, eventually, the chatter in his comm-link seeped through his desolation.

Cap, Barnes, come in? Anyone got eyes on Cap or Barnes? Where were they last seen? That explosion’s blown out too many sensors, we’re rebooting but we’re in the dark here. Cap? Cap?

I’m here. I… Bucky’s gone.

He pulled himself up slowly to a sitting position. His heart was pounding, and his hands were trembling.  He rested his head on his knees and wept.

Stark found him. Sensors finally re-aligned after being blown out by the explosion, he made his way through the broken base. The building was quiet, cold and dark, all power out.  Small fires gradually died out on the cold rock, their red glow making the dark even eerier.

Stark’s helmet opened.

‘Cap, what the hell happened?’

Steve lifted his head. His eyes were red, and there were blood streaks and bruises on his face.  He looked human and broken.

‘The door was rigged. It blew when Bucky opened it, set another one off.  He fell Tony… He fell, I lost him, I couldn’t…’ His voice thickened and cracked, and he broke off, swallowing hard.  

‘My suit’s at 5%, I can’t go down there right now.  We’ll look Steve, we’ll find him.  We’ll try…’

Steve’s head dropped to his knees again and he shut the world out as Tony took control.  More people arrived. He felt hands on his shoulders, offering comfort; heard conversations flying above his head.  None of it made sense to him.  Bucky had fallen, and he was gone, where Steve couldn’t follow.

He felt the heat from Stark’s repulsors as two of the suits took off and flew down into the chasm, saw with unseeing eyes the light bouncing off rocks in the dark.  He was chilled through from sitting on the floor, but he would stay there forever, better than leaving Bucky again

The suits flew back.  He heard talk, movement.  Something fell into the dark and the echo rang back loudly in the room. The suits flew down again, and he heard the whine and scrape as the armour dragged parts of the mountain around, deep inside.

‘Cap? Cap…’

The voice finally cut through his wretchedness.  He looked up. Romanoff was kneeling beside him. He focussed on her.  There was a dim glow from one of Stark’s suits, but the hole in the ground seemed to suck the light into its depths.  He tried to nod, to be strong, to show her he was there. She rested her hand on his shoulder.

‘Steve.  Did you hear? They found him. They’re bringing him up now.’

He stood, his body feeling its age for the first time.  He leant on the wall and watched his breath misting in the chill air.  He heard the suit fly up before he saw it, then the rocks glowed red with reflected light, then it appeared.  Bucky’s body was draped over the suit’s arms.  His right arm was flung over the suit’s shoulder, his left hung limp and unmoving, the metal crushed and scraped.  His trousers were torn and the red light made the blood glow too brightly.  There was bone visible.  Bucky’s face was turned away from Steve, and he was glad that he could hold off from seeing it for a moment longer.

The Legion suit landed heavily, and Steve waited for it to set the body down, knowing he would have to step forward, and that it would then become real. It didn’t stop though, walking forward, through the cleared route to the back of the room, and on through the base.  He couldn’t stop it.  He’d wanted to see, here, so then it would be over, and he could just sit there with Bucky until he died too, but to find the energy to follow him out of the base seemed impossible.

‘Hey, stop!’ he called, his voice filled with dust.

‘Steve, there’s no time, we’ve got to get him to the jet,’ Romanoff spoke gently, as if to a child who wouldn’t understand.  ‘It’s touch and go, he needs stabilising fast.’

He looked at her, uncomprehending for a moment.

‘He’s not dead? But the fall…’

‘He’s not dead Steve.  He’s not doing great, but he’s not dead.  You thought…?’ She rested her hand on his arm, her face full of sympathy.  ‘No, he’s not dead. I guess it’s always going to take more than a fall for that one.’

His face trembled as he began to laugh and cry, taking in a deep breath as the world lightened, then he made for the exit and the jet.

-

She had tried, on the fifth day, to contact him.  It had taken her all day to summon the courage to press send on the simple message:

Hope you’re OK

When he didn’t respond, she started drinking again, to wipe out the hope she had felt for a while.  The only care she took was of her plant, the one concrete symbol that there had been someone in her life, someone who even just for a moment, cared.  The plant flourished. She did not.

She had changed her shopping habits, so nobody could notice how often she was buying alcohol. A little variety to the day, breaking up the drinking and sleeping.  She wandered to a new shop, stood in the queue with a large bottle of vodka, and let her eye run over the newspaper headlines: ‘Explosion destroys Alaskan mountain.’ She didn’t care.

Then, two days later, the vodka gone, another shopping expedition, another store. She was waiting outside as soon as they opened in the morning.  Papers, newly delivered, were stacked by the stand. Another headline: ‘Is This the End of the Line for the Winter Soldier?’. Two pictures of his face, one from the 1940s, the other with longer hair, the smile replaced with hateful blankness.  Her breath caught in her chest and she grabbed at the paper, stood by the stand reading, trying to focus on the words.

Word from Avengers HQ is that the infamous Winter Soldier, also known as Captain America’s oldest and best friend, James Buchanan Barnes, is on the brink of death.  The mystery explosion which toppled an Alaskan mountain earlier this week has been revealed as a bomb planted by Hydra, the Nazi organisation Captain Rogers and his team are working to end.  Barnes was caught up in the explosion which ripped apart the mountain, his fall into a crevasse causing massive injuries.  The solder is now seen as a victim of torture and the world’s longest serving POW, and was being rehabilitated and living with Captain America in New York’s Avengers Tower. The Avengers have said, via a spokesperson, that Barnes’ injuries are severe and life-threatening, despite the serum which has given him his long life and youthful looks.  Our thought and prayers are with the Captain and his friend.  For more on Barnes’ life, see page 21.  For an alternate view on the world’s deadliest assassin, see…

She let the paper drop back to the stand and stood for a moment, finding it hard to breath.  Then she carefully placed her basket of shopping on the ground, and walked out of the store, overwhelmed.  Outside, the panic overcame over.  Her fists clenched and each breath came faster, whistling through her lungs. Her eyes filled with tears and she knew only that she had to move, to keep moving, that as long as she moved, he would be OK.  She started walking, towards the Avengers Tower she could see on the skyline and tried not to think.

It took her hours.  The sun was bright overhead by the time she reached the Tower.  There were press vans parked outside, the reporters waiting for any sign of movement like vultures.  There were tourists too, posing for pictures beside the giant ‘A’ symbol, and bunches of flowers tied to the railings.  Her heart lifted a little at that, that there were other people who could see the good in him and wished him well. She pushed her way through a crowd on a tour, heading for the large reception desk, out of breath and out of focus.  

‘Bucky, is he…? I’m a friend, can I see…’ Her words slowed.  She realised how she must look. Hair uncombed, clothes none-too-clean, the scent of alcohol on her breath. The guard was well-trained and polite, didn’t recoil or laugh, but she could only imagine how she must seem.

‘I’m sorry ma’am, all the team appreciate everyone’s good wishes but I’m afraid there are no visitors allowed.’

‘Of course, it was stupid… I shouldn’t have…’ she backed away as she spoke, her face flushing into sudden heat. Pushing through the doors again, she felt ashamed and humiliated, stood for a moment pretending not to cry, refusing to turn and see if the guard was watching her.

A cab, caught in traffic, caught her eye.  She held up a hand and moved forward, opening the door and curling into the far corner of the seat as she gave her address.  The cab moved off, slow in the lunchtime traffic in this busy area. She scrubbed her eyes with her hands and stared out of the window, barely seeing the city move by.

‘Hey, stop, can you pull over?’

The driver grunted with mild annoyance, signalled and swerved through the traffic to the blaring of horns. She pulled out some money and passed it over, barely checking the amount.  Her eyes were drawn to the sight in front of her.

Tucked under the railway tracks, behind a shaped metal fence, there was greenery spilling over into the city.  A train rumbled overhead, and the noise broke through her reverie, setting her moving forward into the site and the building beyond.  She pushed through the gate and found herself in an urban jungle. Water fountains trickled in one corner behind bamboo screens while terracotta pots stacked high matched the rusting paint on the rail tracks above.  This was the kind of place she would once have spent hours wandering through, letting her fingers trail through leaves, breathing in the wet scent of freshly watered earth and the heady scent of flowers.  Now she only wanted one thing, and had to shut her mind to the life growing prolifically around her.

Bypassing shelves stacked with seeds and pots, weaving her way through the store, she read the signs hanging from the ceiling until she found the row she wanted.  Glossy green leaves massed in front of her, plants competing for space and sunlight on the crowded shelves.  She walked slowly down the aisle, one hand running along the rough wooden edge, the scratching helping to anchor her and hold down the panic. Finding what she was looking for, she picked up and then rejected two pots before finding the best specimen, tall and healthy looking.  She wrapped her arms around the plastic pot, clutching it to herself as before she had clutched the child’s cup, and made her way back to the front of the store to pay.

Holding the plant carefully, she was about to leave the store when she noticed her reflection in the glass doors. She was wide-eyed with exhaustion and tangled with fear.  She turned back, found an assistant to speak to.

‘I’m sorry to bother you, is there a restroom here I can use?’

The woman turned to her with a friendly smile and took in her appearance and the plant clutched to her chest. She rested a hand on her arm gently as if she was a frightened animal.

‘Right this way through the coffee shop, I’ll walk you there.’ She kept up a quiet stream of chatter, not seeming to mind the lack of response as they walked through the store.  ‘Just through here.  Would you like me to hold your plant for you? Peace lily is it, lovely choice. I’ll be right here waiting.’

She went in, saw herself fully in the mirror now, no hiding.  Resting her hands on a basin she stared at herself, refusing to back down or look away. This was what she had become. Hands trembling, she turned on the tap, used paper towels to scrub her face, then dug into her bag for a comb.  Tidier, she just looked sad now.  Her face had gained new deep lines of sorrow since last she had really seen herself, and she was surprised at how much her loss showed.

Back out in the store, the woman was waiting for her. She thanked her, took the plant back, her shoulders perhaps a little straighter now, and left.  

The Tower was not too far away, she hadn’t come far in the taxi.  Before she reached it, she stopped, rummaged in her bag again for a pen. Folding back the paper bag to the height of the pot, she wrote a message on the bag. Inelegant, but she had to try.

At the Tower, the security guard had been replaced as the shifts changed.  She straightened her back, plastered on a smile, walked forward as if she had the right to be there.

‘Hello, I’m sorry to bother you, I have a delivery here for Sergeant Barnes, from a close friend.’ She held the plant out, leaving the guard little choice but to take it.  ‘Please see the plant gets to him quickly, and isn’t left sitting on a shelf. It’ll need watering, of course.’

She’d done all she could now.  She knew she wouldn’t get to see Bucky, and that was right.  She wasn’t anything to him, in reality they barely knew each other, and yet she felt broken that somewhere in this building, he was lying, injured, and not knowing she cared.  She looked up to the guard again, to say goodbye, needing to get out now, get back to the oblivion that alcohol could give her.  He wasn’t looking at her but was staring over her shoulder.  Frowning with confusion, she turned to look. Blue eyes rimmed with red, above dark circles showing the signs of exhaustion and fear she knew from her own face.

‘I’m sorry ma’am, I heard you mention plants. Was that… a peace lily?’

@melconnor2007 @emilyevanston @kittyslove @badassbaker @phoenix21love @lbouvet @bellenuit45 @prplprincez @gingerrootknits @pineapplebooboo @feelmyroarrrr @avengerofyourheart @eyeofdionysus @hellomissmabel @learisa @mitra-k-w @imhereforbvcky @shaddixlife @iwillbeinmynest @amrita31199 @whatsbetterthanfantasy @pixierox101 @edward-lover18 @madcheshire89 @heartfulloffandoms @chipilerendi @kenya-17 @mckorni32843

[ellana-ravenwood]

“Really, Peter, my daughter ?” - Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Summary : Peter starts to date Tony Stark’s daughter and the Iron Man isn’t sure he’s liking it...Well, actually, he’s pretty sure he hates it. 

I wanted to write something else than Batfam or DC related for once sooooooo...Here’s a Peter Parker story yo. It has probably been written a thousand times, but after I watched “Spider-Man : Homecoming”, all I wanted to do was writing a story with Peter starting to date Tony’s daughter so...yeah. Here it is. Hope you’ll like it : 

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

Peter didn’t really mean for this to happen. Far from it. Oh it would have avoided him a world of troubles if none of this ever happened. 

Nope, totally didn’t mean for this to happen. Besides, when he first met you, he had a massive crush on Liz and had eyes only for her. Oh he was head over heels for her. And, your first encounter wasn’t exactly...a smooth one. 

************

Months earlier, when Peter helped your father against Captain America: 

It was very soon after the big fight between “Team Iron Man” and “Team Captain America” that you met him. Peter was waiting for  “Mr. Stark” in the Avengers’ watchtower, in one of the waiting lounge. 

An annoying elevator music was playing and Peter was awkwardly sitting in one of the ridiculously fancy chair of the lounge, waiting for...Someone. Anyone really. 

He had been waiting for hours. Did...did they forgot about him ? Nooooo, Mr. Stark would never do that to him. 

And when the door opened, Peter’s heart leapt at the thought of talking to his hero again and...A girl he only saw on TV appeared, hurriedly closing the door behind her. 

You. It was you. The famous (Y/N) Stark, only daughter of the even more famous Tony Stark, and therefor, sole heir to the Stark’s fortune.  

You didn’t even notice Peter at first, as he was sitting in the chair furthest to the door, and when you did, the face you made made him flinch. You seemed so unhappy to see him...

-Who the Hell are you ?

You ask without any other preamble. Peter stands up and clears his throat...and oh he wanted to slap himself when instead of telling you his name he said : 

-You’re...You’re (Y/N) Stark ! 

You roll your eyes at him and approach him slowly, giving him a suspicious look before saying : 

-Thank you, without you, I think I would have never known my own name. I’m so grateful right now...

The sarcasm in your voice was so strong Peter thought he could feel it squeezing his heart and self-confidence. It took him way too long before he finally answered : 

-Peee...Pee...Peter Parker. 

You raise an eyebrow, and a spark of interest lights in your eyes, you smile at him and if Peter was being completely honest, his crush for you started right in that instant but...His nervousness erased any of those thoughts, and the fact then there was Liz. Oh Liz...

-Peter Parker ? Oh, you’re him. The Spi...

You don’t have time to finish your sentence as the door swings open and your dad enters the room. You make a face, scrunching your nose and wincing, and take a few steps back. 

Your father doesn’t even notice Peter as he says, looking at you straight in the eyes : 

-Young lady, you’re in trouble. 

He walks towards you, resolute, and you stand your ground, ready to show him that you ain’t scared. Of course, his intent isn’t to actually scare you but...Oh well, maybe intimidating you a bit ? He’s really trying to be a somewhat strict father. And with the most “angry/disappointed” father tone he can takes he says : 

-I thought I told you you weren’t allowed to go out in one of your suit. And what did you do ? You went out with it. And put your life in danger. 

The face you make as his words fly out of his mouths worries him. Because he know you, your his kid. And damn whoever decided that you’d resemble him mentally so much, because it was always so difficult to make sure you were safe...

-Key words : “I thought”. See, I don’t remember you ever telling me this. Maybe you “thought” you did and actually never did ? Besides, my life wasn’t in danger, I was totally fine. 

-You almost got yourself blown up ! And don’t play on my words, you know damn well I forbid you to go out with your suits ! 

-Oh right...you “forbid” me...that’s probably why I did it...I don’t like when people tell me what to do. Besides, my suits are great, they need to be used to...

He cuts you off and his anger actually surprises you. It was often, that you have one of those oral joust, where you both would talk back to each other until one or the other would win...but him getting angry ? That was very rare...

-You almost died (Y/N) ! I could have lost you ! I can’t loose you for God’s sake ! Yes your suits are amazing, I mean, you’re my kid after all, of course everything you do is amazing but you don’t know how to use it ! And you almost died because of this and I can’t loose you you’re too important to me and...Peter ? What are you doing here ?

Peter was trying to sink in his chair and disappeared when Tony finally noticed him. You turn around and the look you give him is as if you saw him for the first time, and you say : 

-Wow. Way to ruin our emotional moment dude. 

Peter awkwardly stood up and, a hand massaging his neck nervously, he said : 

-I’m...I’m sorry Miss Stark I was...hum...Mr. Stark I was...hum...I was waiting for you because you told me you wanted to tell me something and I...I’m sorry...

Something lights up in your dad’s eyes, and you’re pretty sure he TOTALLY forgot about that poor guy. You turn around and smile mischievously at your father. He gives you a look that means : “don’t you dare” and oh, oh you dare : 

-Who’s your friend dad ? Oh wait, isn’t he that kid who’s my age and whom you dragged into a fight against the Captain America and his wickedly powerful team ? ...Do you see a little contradiction forming here ? 

Your dad winces and shakes his head, before saying : 

-He’s not my daughter. He...

You cut him off and, turning to Peter you say : 

-Outch. If I were you, I’d totally roll him up in my spider webs for basically just saying it’s ok to put your life in danger cause you’re not his kid. 

-That’s not what I meant. 

-But that’s what you said. 

Peter hated this. He didn’t even care that Mr. Stark put his life in danger, after all, he went willingly. No. But this all situation was so...stressful. Fighting Captain America ? Sure, why not. But being put in the middle of a fight between two of the most brilliant minds in the World ? No thanks. Because this couldn’t end well. So before Mr. Stark could say anything else, he said : 

-I’ll be on my way then, if you don’t actually have anything to tell me...though I’ve been waiting for four hours...I just thought that you had...like...something to tell me or...Something. 

You smile at this guy’s apparent awkwardness and nervousness, and decide to give him a break by not continuing to attack your father, and let him speak to the boy : 

-Hum yes, I’m sorry Peter I did have...something to tell you. Happy is waiting for you downstairs in a car, we’ll give you a ride home and I’ll...tell you the things I wanted to tell you. Go ahead, I’m following you. 

Peter nods and, with great relief, he leaves the room, almost running downstairs to meet with happy. 

You smile mischievously at your father again and say : 

-You totally forgot about him right ?

-Yes totally. 

-Happy isn’t waiting downstairs. 

-No he’s not. Not yet. I need to make a call. 

-And you don’t really have anything to tell him. 

-Would you please shut up daughter of mine ? 

-Why ? Because I’m right ? 

-Yes, exactly because of this. And don’t think our conversation is over. After I think of something to tell Peter and brings him home, we’re having a serious talk you and I. 

-If I didn’t sneak out in a suit again...

-What was that ? 

-Oh, nothing. 

And with an exasperated sigh your father leaves the room, leaving you alone and, curiously, the thought of sneaking out isn’t that much appealing...Hacking the townhouse to get that “Peter Parker”’s personal file though ? That sounds awesome. 

************

It’s only months later, after Peter gets Vulture behind bars, that you two meet again. Your dad had organized a huge press conference to announce the “new avenger” and...said “new avenger” turned him down (at least for now). Your father got out of it pretty easily though, because Peter ended up thinking this was all a “test” and it finally gave him the occasion to propose to Pepper, after holding on to that damn ring for almost ten years. 

The thought of your dad and Pepper finally marrying made you so happy...Pepper Potts had been here since day one, ever since an anonymous person left baby you on Tony’s doorstep saying you were his daughter. A quick paternity test later and...Well, very immature and alcoholic Tony Stark was now a dad. God bless Pepper, she held everything together for a long time...And though your dad was a drunk in the earliest years of your life, he always took great care of you, and gave you all the love you needed. Pepper was a nice bonus. Your mother figure. You actually called her “mom” since a long time...She never minded, even before she started to date your dad. 

Yes, the thought of them marrying was great. But also, you couldn’t get that boy out of your mind and so...you made sure your path crossed again that day. 

As Peter was leaving the new Avengers’ headquarters, you walked casually toward him and when he saw you, he stopped and said : 

-Oh hey ! (Y/N) Stark !

-Peepeepeter Parker. Nice to see you again. 

He blushes a bit at your teasing but cannot help the smile creeping on his face. 

-Nice to see you too. 

There’s an awkward silence for a few seconds and you realize that...you don’t even know what to say. And you feel silly. Because you always know what to say usually...Besides, your dad told you he had a girlfriend so, why are you feeling so weird ? Just tell him “see you around dude” and leave !

But you don’t leave. And you end up walking him back to the car that’ll take him home. You end up talking with him about those “Vulture” events, and he asks you about your own adventures too ! After all, he saw in the news that “(Y/N) Stark was starting to help her father out and became the Iron Girl”. 

-I wanted to be called the “Iron Maiden” but my dad thought it was too obvious and that we’d have copyright problems...

He laughs out loud at your words and your heart flutters. Oh man. You were totally having a stupid teenage crush. Teenage crushes were so not your thing ! Boys were really not a priority in your life ! But his laugh was so cute...

Walking him back to the car you also learned that he was single again (YES...Wait, no, it didn’t matter) and that he was from Queens, going to a school known to have only geniuses. 

He asks about your school, assuming you’re in a private one or something and...You say you’re homeschooled. Going out to school was a bit too dangerous because of your father’s occupation (always have been, even when he was still dealing harms). And besides, you could never really make true friends because you never knew if they were interested in you, or in your father’s fortune and fame, in your father’s suits...

-Well, at least you know I’m not interested in that at all. I mean I am, the suits are awesome and it’s nice to be rich but...I’m not really interested in it. We can be friends if you want. 

Yup. Ok. Fuck that. His words totally made you fall for him...

************

As Peter was walking down central park with you at his side, he wondered : 

How the Hell did he think that Liz was so amazing ? She was so plain compared to you ! How could he ever think that he was in love with Liz ? Sure she was nice and beautiful but...you ? Oh you. 

You were the most amazing girl he ever met. 

Intelligent, witty, compassionate, funny, geeky, an even bigger nerd than him ! You really were the girl of his dream and...it seemed so unreal to him that he ever was attracted to someone else than you ! 

And he wished he wasn’t...because how could he ever get a girl like you ? You were too perfect for poor little silly Peter Parker from Queens. 

You two weren’t from the same World. You lived in luxury since you were born, he was eating pasta four days a week because his Aunt May didn’t always have the money to make ends meet...And you were so, just so..

So beautiful. So smart. So bright. So...So much more than him in every way. Even your superhero persona, the “Iron Girl”, did more than him...You were the new Avenger, he stayed the friendly neighborhood spider...It was what he wanted but...he felt so unworthy of you. 

And yet. Yet he still went out with you almost every week-end. You were now living upstates with your father and Pepper, at the new Avengers’ headquarter but your suit made it easy to come hang out with him in NYC. And one of your favorite place there was Central Park. You often went there with Peter, talking about movies, books, comics, anything really... 

Peter knew it was just wishful thinking to even consider that you were liking him the same way he did but...Bike. 

A bike was going straight at you and was about to collide with you and, without thinking about it, Peter grabbed you by the waist and swung you around, but the fact that you weren’t ready for this and that he was so quick in his action made you both fall to the ground, you on top of him and...

Awkward chuckle. 

-Are you alright ? 

-Yes Pete, I am. Thanks to you. 

Another awkward chuckle. Your face so close to his. Your eyes so intense. Your lips in reach...But he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t kiss you. So why was he doing it ? Wait. No. He wasn’t. You were. You were the one that closed the gap and kissed him. And oh how sweet your lips were and...

-Get out of the way you damn kids ! 

An old man on an electric scooter said, as he rushed by you (Stan Lee cameo).

It took the both of you out of your trance and you got back on your feet quickly, looking at each others awkwardly, blushing like crazy. 

Could it be ? Did you like him too ? 

Taking a step back away from him you say :

-I’m sorry I...I shouldn’t have done that it’s just...you’re so nice and you saved me and you’re the only true friend I have and...I just...I couldn’t resist but I’m sorry I sh...

He takes your hand in his, unsure of what he’s actually doing and, with a smile he wants reassuring he says :

-It’s totally fine (Y/N). I did respond, didn’t I ? 

-...Yes...you did...

-I know you wittier than that...

-Shut up, I don’t know how to react in those kind of situations. This never happened before. 

-”This” ? 

-Me. Liking a guy. 

-So...you like me ? 

-I thought my kiss was proof enough...

-But a girl like you...You can’t like a guy like me ?

-What ? You mean an empathic guy like you ? An extremely intelligent guy like you ? A nice and funny guy like you ? A caring guy like you ? A rather hot, damn dem abs really, and cute guy like you ? 

Peter can feel the heat rushing to his cheeks and his hand squeezes yours without him thinking about it. He reaches for your cheek automatically and brush a few clumsy fingers on it, before settling his palm under your chin and bringing your face up to his...

Kissing you is the sweetest thing he ever felt. He’s melting in your embrace, as you wrap your arm around his neck and his free hand goes to awkwardly sit on your waist. And...this is how it begins. 

You and Peter.

Peter and you. 

The beginning of a great adventure...If not the greatest of each others’ life.

************

-What the Hell ?!

Awkward. 

So damn awkward. You weren’t really expecting him to come home so early. He would always be so busy with Stark Tech and the Avengers. Why was he home so early ?!

With a nervous chuckle, Peter pulls away from you and shoves his hands in his pockets. With a little tremor in his voice he says : 

-This isn’t what it looks like Mr. Stark ! 

Your father raises an eyebrow and approach the two of you before saying : 

-Oh really ? So you weren’t actually just kissing my daughter right there and then ? 

-No. I mean yes. I was. But it isn't...I’m not...I was...

You go to stand protectively in front of your boyfriend, and, staring your father down you say : 

-We were kissing and ? What’s the problem ? It’s a total normal thing really. Especially after you’ve been dating for 8 months. 

Your dad’s eye widen and in a breath he says : 

-8...8 MONTHS ?!

-Yes. Eight. 

-Why...Why am I just learning about this right now ?! 

-Because you’re always so damn busy and...and protective. But mostly busy. In those eight months we barely saw each others !

A wave of guilt washes over Tony because, yes, it’s true, you guys barely saw each others lately but oh, he knows what you’re doing. He knows you’re totally trying to guilt trip him so that he won’t talk much about the fact that you were dating his protege since over 8 months ! 

-It isn’t working (Y/N). 

You make a face and shrug, at least, you tried. But with a raise of your eyebrow you say : 

-Well it still doesn’t change anything. I love him. So like...deal with it. Not gonna change. 

Your dad is about to say something but Peter is faster :

-You lo...What...What did you say ? 

You blush all the way to your ears and you’re about to deny it when he adds :

-I hope I heard right because...I love you too. 

The happiness you feel is overwhelming and all you can do is hide your face in his shoulder, as he wraps his arms around you, smiling like an idiot, and you...

-Hum, HellooooOOoOOOO ! I’m still here. 

You make an annoyed sound and turn to your father saying : 

-Yes. You are. 

With an underlying meaning of : “why are you ? Get out please”. But your dad is having none of it, and says : 

-Young lady, we need to talk. 

-Yes, we do. I love Peter, he loves me, we’re dating, end of the discussion. 

You say, as you pull away from Peter and starts to leave the room. 

-Hum no. I’m the one deciding when the conversation ends and hum excuse me where are you going ? 

You completely ignore your dad as you pass right by him and leave the place. Peter is following you but your father’s hand on his chest stops him. 

-Really, Peter ? Out of all the girls you could have ? My daughter ? 

-I think you give me too much credits I can’t have many girls...I’m kinda of a nerd and everyone knows it.

-I think you’re not giving yourself enough credits. And I repeat, really ? 

-...really. I didn’t mean for it to happen Mr. Stark. Truthfully. It just, kind of did...Your daughter is the most wonderful girl in the world. 

-Yes she is. Too wonderful for you. And you need to drop it. 

There’s a silence and oh Peter wished you would come back to fetch him, wished he could run away...but he can’t. This is important. You are important. And he has to stand his ground. 

-No. 

He says, feeling more sure than ever. Not even faltering when “Mr. Stark” says : 

-I’m sorry ? 

-I said no. No, I won’t drop it. I love your daughter. I’m not about to leave her just because you don’t want us to be together. I love her, and like she said, you’ll just have to deal with it. Now if you would please excuse me, I have to run after the love of my life, and no, it’s not me being a stupid enamored teenager, I truly believe she is the love of my life, I feel it in my guts, she’s the one, and it sounds cliche but...It’s true. I just know it. Spider sense if you want. And...I’m going to run after her, to tell her that your disapproval means nothing, and that I’ll stick around as long as she’ll want me to ! And...And...And that’s it. 

And on that note, Peter leaves, taking the direction you took but...he wouldn’t find you just yet as you re-appear from a secret passage in the wall and, a smug expression on your face says : 

-Happy now ? I was right. 

-I had to make sure. 

-I’m always right dad. 

-But I still had to make sure. Double check. And alright. Fine. He truly loves you. He’s the first that stood up against me. You have my blessing. 

You go to kiss your dad on the cheek and, with a chuckle you say : 

-As if I ever needed your blessing...But, still, thanks dad.  

And you leave too to follow your boyfriend...It was a thing between you and your dad, whenever you got a guy (which was rare really, wasn’t really something you wanted until now) he would pull his “tough and protective” dad act and make sure the guy really meant to date you. Not just for your status and money, but for you. And would stand up to the great Iron Man. 

And oh, Peter didn’t disappoint. Of course he didn’t. 

And Tony wasn’t sure how to feel about that. So far, all of the kids failed. His precious little baby was safe from boys and this all mess that was “dating”. But...Well, you were almost sixteen. You were starting to be a woman. You were going to leave your dad soon...Ok, maybe he was dramatizing things a little bit but...The thought of you growing up so fast was unbearable. 

He wanted you to be six again, to be amazed by everything he did and not to smugly do things even better than him ! 

But you were growing up, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

Besides, Peter was a nice boy. He knew it. Peter was a great boy. 

But still, Tony Stark wasn’t sure he liked him dating his daughter. In fact, Tony Stark was pretty sure he hated him dating his daughter...

Fin. 

______________________

This is a terrible start to me trying to write a Peter Parker fic. I feel like I got everything so wrong, that they were all so out of character...Uh. I tried. Sorry ^^'. 

[techcrunchappcom]

New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/the-baby-sitters-club-recap-holla-at-moi-vulture/

The Baby-Sitters Club Recap: Holla at Moi - Vulture

Photo: Liane Hentscher/Netflix/

Welcome to Sea City, sitters! It’s Spring Break (this fictional year is flying by and I don’t hate it) and Stacey and Mary Anne have been tasked with the BSC’s first-ever travel job: They’ll be heading to the beach for the week to watch the eight Pike kids. Yes, friends, that’s “Pike” as in Mallory Pike. I imagine many viewers already know who Mallory is in the grand lore of The Baby-Sitters Club, but just in case I’ll only say that the eldest Pike will be back at a later date.

Stacey and Mary Anne are excited to get paid to go on vacation (Richard Spier is a mess, obviously), but the other girls are already missing their friends. Sure, it’s only a week but these girls are Best Friends Forever. The capital letters mean it’s serious. Didn’t you want to squeeze your way into that group hug? The two sitters who are going away have lots of plans for a fun yet responsible week. Kristy is already all over them about keeping the BSC Code of Conduct even while in a different zip code. Things seem to start out just as great as Stacey and Mary Anne planned, aside from multiple vomit incidents in the car ride and some less-than-ideal weather, but all those plans get hurled in the cold, harsh sea the moment Scott the Lifeguard shows up.

Who is Scott the Lifeguard, you ask? Some dummy 17-year-old who slo-mos himself into Stacey’s heart even though he barely notices her insane amount of flirting, patronizingly calls her “cutie,” gives her his trash — excuse me, his lifeguard whistle — and also is I guess responsible for people’s lives on that beach. Anyway, this may be Stacey’s episode, but let’s be honest: Mary Anne is the real hero here. She immediately recognizes that Stacey is being a little ridiculous, (1) because of the inappropriate age difference, and (2) because um, those ladies have a job to do and Stacey is blowing it off to bring Scott drinks and … pose endearingly in his general vicinity while he ignores her?

Mary Anne is not thrilled with having to watch the eight Pikes by herself. She’s especially not thrilled when they bury her in the sand and leave her for the seagulls. Luckily, two very nice age-appropriate boys, Alex and Cousin Toby from Canada, help her out. They hit it off because those boys are delightful and I very much approve of tweens who already tell dad jokes. When Stacey learns that Scott is going to Burger Garden where he’ll be “slamming burgers” — a phrase that will bring me joy for years to come — she hijacks their one night off to “bump into him” there. Mary Anne has Alex and Cousin Toby come along and Stacey proceeds to ignore them all, even though Toby is clearly into her. She decides that she’ll win Scott over with a box of chocolates, proving once and for all that she should in no way be pursuing a 17-year-old. Stick with Sam, Stace! Sam is uncomplicated! Sam draws blenders!

She utterly humiliates herself in front of Scott and his high-school friends. Toby tries to save the day, but the damage is done. Back at the Pike beach house, Stacey learns that little Byron Pike has a massive crush on her and she has to explain that he’s just too young and it puts the whole situation in perspective. Thankfully, she has come to this realization with enough time for one great beach day. She “didn’t care if some boy knew who [she] was, because [she] knew.” Ah jeez, these girls are growing up right before our very eyes!

This also means that she can apologize to Mary Anne for being a terrible friend, although she did buy them cheesy matching airbrush shirts, and that’s not nothing. Plus Mary Anne has her own silver lining: She used to be so intimidated by how cool and sophisticated she thought Stacey was and now she’s learned that she’s just a big dork like the rest of them. Honestly, that’s a lesson to keep with you no matter your age. Oh and also, Toby shows up to say good-bye to Stacey with his own gift and she plants a kiss on the kid. Her very first kiss. Sea City isn’t so bad after all.

Back in Stoneybrook, Kristy is also starting to see someone in a different way: She might finally be coming around on Watson Brewer. She’s tasked with baby-sitting Karen and Andrew. She tricks them into doing some chores, which I guess includes washing Watson’s fancy car that he doesn’t really drive. Kristy manages to get herself locked in a mud room of sorts, hoping to find some — ahem — dirt on Watson and has to watch in horror as Karen and Andrew “wash” the car with steel wool.

Watson calls Kristy (he has to block his number to get her to answer, Kristy is hilarious) to give her the chance to come clean. She spills everything and Watson is way more understanding than Kristy deserves. He tells her that he has no secrets stashed away in mud rooms, he’s a regular guy. Also he doesn’t think they need to tell Liz about this. He is a cool dude! Kristy starts to soften and quickly tells him that she actually really likes her new bedroom in his house and then immediately hangs up before he can respond. He seems so happy about it. He’s making progress!

• Oh, Sharon and Richard are so on again. Dawn and Mary Anne are tired of this break their parents are on and so begin their Parent Trap plan (complete with the full handshake — they’re real fans!). The “plan” is mainly just Dawn calling up Richard and pretending to be her mom, but she’s a terrible actress. Even if she hadn’t given it away before she invited Richard over for “wine on the rocks” that really would’ve done it. Just the reminder of Sharon pushes Richard to offer an olive branch by way of a pet turtle (“turtle” was her pet name for him in high school) and a note that says “sorry I went back into my shell.” Honestly, buying someone a pet isn’t a gift, it’s a job, but we’ll take it because Sharon and Richie are made for each other.

• Vanessa Pike, the one in a dark and twisty “poetry phase,” is another great addition to the Quirky Kids of Stoneybrook. I love them all!

• There are a lot of embarrassing things you could say to the older boy you like but “Holla at moi” is very much toward the top of that list.

• “Mary Anne, talk to him. Or else you’re gonna spend the rest of your life wondering if his legs feel like Jell-O when he sees you.” Alex!!!

• Okay, so we’ve met Mal — where’s Jessi??

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[aquaburst3]

Because I’m bored and need to straighten out my own headcanons, I’m gonna list off even more characters in my Reverse Voltron fic.    I’m not gonna list off every character and OC, since that’d take forever. I’m only gonna do the most notable secondary characters or other major characters I forgot to mention before, who are based on past Voltron characters. 

Also, if you don’t want to be spoiled for my fic, don’t read this. This will contain massive spoilers. 

Villains 

Merla:  She was once Lotor’s friends and even partner’s in crime with Lotor, being the one that broke him out of the pod when he was 15, being around the same age as him. She sided with him since they were both former Galra royalty, her being distantly related to a broken off section of the Galra royal family, who wanted to fort Emperor Alfor. That changed when Lotor left her behind on a mission, leaving her for dead, around a year before the events of the fic.  Feeling like she was betrayed and angry, she joins Alfor’s side, not only to infiltrate his empire and break it apart from the inside, but also to make Lotor pay. Because of this, she’s a huge thorn in Lotor’s side. In addition that, she also secretly hates Alteans and everything they stand for, wanting the empire to burn to a crisp for killing off the Galra on Daibazaal and after everything they did.  After all, nothing is more deadly than a woman’s scorn. 

Like Lotor, she uses tech, which she also made,  in her plans. She has a mental mind link with her pet vulture, Vicious, who tells her if someone has ill intentions towards her.  She also has her own team of generals, comprised of  the OC Ako (the yandere of the team, being kinda like Himiko from Hero Aca) and Kala (being more quiet and calculating along with the muscle of the group). Ironically, they are merely under her command and she’s prepared to toss them to the sharks, not mourning their loss, if she must. And she’s building a machine that can tap into other realities and send people into a reality to live out their worst nightmares.

 When she confronts the paladins for the first time, she makes Azora (Ezor) an offer to join her team for a short while and then she’d send her back to Earth to be with her family again. Ultimately, Azora turns down this offer and stays the Blue paladin.   When Lotor’s teammates figure about Lotor’s past betrayal, it does make them question on a small level whether something like that will happen again, especially for Azora  and Nasrin (Narti). 

Later on, she’s the only other villains who side with Go Lion outside of Allura and her squad, only because she deep down wants the empire to stop too, but more so reluctantly. She also helps out Lotor’s generals once in awhile out of similar goals, but will never admit it out of both pride and her scorn for Lotor.

Personality wise, she’s a scheming plotter, much like Lotor. Unlike Lotor in this version, she is more willingly to do ruthless tactics to get what she wants. She makes a lot of snappy remarks, mostly at Lotor’s expense. 

 The best way to describe her is that she’s like Missy from Doctor Who or Demona from Gargolyes.

(As a side note, she wears armour similar to Lotor’s ex generals and the other female Galra in VLD, not the weird armour she wore in DOTU or that dominatrices outfit she wore in the comics)

Avok: He’s a general under Alfor. He’s Allura’s distant cousin (since he’s born closer to the present while she was born 10 000 years ago and recently woke up from cyrosleep), but is still very closely linked to the Altean royal family, who is only siding with them in order to be in their good graces and gain more power, possibly the throne, for himself. 

He was almost engaged to be Allura’s husband, but this was changed when it was decided that Keith would be in a political arranged marriage with Allura to unite the last living Galra on Mamora and the Alteans in a false image of peace.  Because of this, he despises Keith for getting his way and wants him to pay for stopping his plans. 

He also is deadly because he’s Romelle’s brother and she’s the leader of the Guns of Gamora. Romelle has to be extra careful to avoid his gaze otherwise it would be game over for all of the rebels. 

Personality wise, he’s very ambitious and a deadly fighter, but lacks any sort of cunning and any sort of hard core planning to make his goals a reality, which is part of the reason why Romelle has been able to avoid him for all these years. Make no mistake, that ambition and willing to do anything to get ahead does make him a very powerful threat. 

Wade:  He’s the new leader of Galaxy Garrison, replacing Iverson, along with being a powerful player in world politics. There’s a lot more to him than that. He’s in league with Emperor Alfor, who has his sights on Earth as his next target to make it more peaceful and under his empire’s control along with turning the more rebellious humans into non-cogs. By teaming up with Alfor, he wants to be the new leader of Earth, proving his technology is superior and his philosophy of working to the top in the process. He also wants said power to protect his loved ones from Alfor as well. He’s also building another mecha on Earth by taking Go Lion’s blue prints and reverse engineering them in order to have a even more powerful weapon to combat it; this mecha’s called Robotech.

While he lacks psychical strength, he makes up with military cunning and being very cut throat, being even willing to kill teenagers to come out on top.  He is also very disciplined and honourable, believing that you have to earn in order to be at the top, which is another reason why he despises the paladins for inheriting Go Lion instead of creating it.

The best way to describe him is a mixture between Lex Luther and Wrath from FMAB.  He doesn’t show up until the 3rd “season” and is the main villain of that arc.

Heroes

Romelle:   Romelle is the leader and creator of the Guns of Gamora, being around the same age psychically as Allura, along with being Allura’s distant look-like cousin. Even when the paladins first meet her, they are thrown for a loop since she looks like Allura with shorter hair. 

Romelle is very direct in her leadership, being willing to get her hands dirty to get things done in the organisation. She is very compassionate and loving, but not a person to trifled with. She’s also very calm and level-headed when it comes to dealing with politics, being able to see both sides of a situation and set her own emotions aside to do the greater good.  She is willing to give people a chance before passing judgement, being brave, spirited and determined as well. Allura is just learning about what happened to her kingdom while she was in the cyropod and is still very unaware of some of the horrible things going on, Romelle, meanwhile, has a better grasps of politics and what’s really going on under the surface of the empire her uncle has created due to being in this world since she was born. She can be overbearing and over protective as well, being to safe with her plans before she loosens up more, along with not being good at thinking on her toes. The best way to describe her is that she’s like Suki from Avatar.

 Romelle and Lotor don’t get along very well. They set their ill will towards each other aside for the bigger picture, forming an alliance. 

Bandar:  He’s still a child, being around 10. He’s a kid, who wants to be an adult, having a bigger role in the rebel organisation and be a badass fighter. But due to Romelle’s over protective nature, he is kept from the fighting. He often rebels and disobeys orders to fight. He can be playful and carefree, but still tries to come off as more mature.  He’s sorta like Aang only with a more rebellious streak

Hys: The best way describe her is that she’s like Miss Beakly from the Ducktales reboot. She’s a member of the Guns of Gamora, who took on the position of being Bandar’s nanny. She’s a stern and strict woman, but is very loving and caring to those dear to her.   She’s also a deadly fighter when she needs to be. 

Cossack:  He starts off as a low ranking general, who only became one due to being a noble's son, being stationed on the planet that Green teleports Nasrin to after the paladin’s first battle with Alfor. After finding her knocked out in the middle of the woods in broken paladin armour, he takes her to a dissolute base in order to put her into a healing pod before she dies from her wounds. After awakening from the pod, Nasrin fights him at first, but calms down after realising that he was the one to help her and gave her a chance, his people needing of her help.  Over the course of time, she helps the people of Mamora rebel against the Alteans and Nasrin gives him the courage to fight back and join the rebels. She and Cossack get crushes on each other, starting to date as well later on.

He’s around the same age as Lotor.   (Tbh, I’m not sure about his age in the original series since he has wrinkles like Haggar and even seems to have a crush on her, but acts like he’s in his early 20s like Lotor. I’m screwing the rules and just saying he’s a teenager like the rest of them to make my life easier.)

Personality wise, he’s a bit more of a goof ball and tries to lighten up the mood when things get too tense, but can get serious when the situation calls for it, kinda like Lance in the canon. He has insecurity issues and wants to be a powerful warrior like his father, puffing himself up in order to sooth his ego. Over time, he learns that he can be a strong fighter in his own right. He also lies to cover his own ass, which bites him in said ass when dealing with his superiors. Despite this, he does have a brave and noble heart, being abrasive, passionate, can over explain his plans and sceptical as well.  The best way to describe him is being a mixture of canon!Lance and Sokka. 

Dorma: She’s Cossack’s sister.   (As a side note, yes; I know Hazar is Dorma’s brother according to Vehicle Voltron...despite her being Hazar’s slave in Dairugger from what I heard. But due to Hazar and Kolivan being pretty much the same character, it would be super redundant to add him in as well.) 

Due to growing up during the war, she is tries to be mature, nurturing and motherly to her younger brother, much to his dismay, because he’s only a year younger than her. She tends to be more logical about things, but is willing to give situations and people a chance, too. Like her brother, she joins the rebels later on after seeing the bigger picture of things. She’s compassionate and a good fighter as well. 

The best way to describe her is that she’s like Katara from Avatar personality wise, but fights like Korra. 

Commander Shinji Hawkins: He’s the Matt/Shiro parallel in the series. He was one of the members, who were abducted on the Kerboros Mission.  Like Matt, he was broken out of prison and moved up the ranks to be fairly high up in the rebel command. Personality wise, he is level headed, valuing to be more calm and diplomatic about things. Like Shiro, he can explode if you press his buttons enough. He has PTSD from his days of captivity. As you might imagine, he faced a fair amount of Shinji Iraki jokes back at the Garrisons. He doesn’t show up until later on, like Matt, and is unaware what happened to his teammates Graham and Marshall.