#Also this thing reads in way more calm manner then i am actually feeling

[justmeinadaze]

Yin & Yang (Steddie X You)

A/N: This post got me feeling some kind of way🫠 .

Warnings: Older Daddy Eddie (Late 30s)/ Older Dom Mr. Harrington (Late 30s) & Younger Fem Sub Y/N (mid 20s)

SMUT, LOTS of dirty talk, male masturbation, fingering, talks of sharing (duh), slight innocence kink (if you squint; she's new to the dynamic), ANGST, reader deals with a rude customer and Eddie saves the day. A fight between Eddie and Y/N are mentioned.

Word Count: 4838

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Everyone always said Edward Munson was a rude, pretentious asshole. News outlets, websites, social media; everyone who met him briefly or not at all expressed a particular distain for him that you always found amusing when the topic came up. 

Visually, he did seem a bit aloof whenever the businessman did any kind of interview or was asked any kind of question. It was always a bit odd seeing a music producer get so much attention especially one who focused on the heavy metal scene but everyone who hated him also tended to agree that he was a genius at the craft. 

The bands he signed and prompted always hit high numbers on their respective charts making him and them a ton of extra money in the process. 

Anything you read or heard you skimmed past mostly because that wasn’t exactly your scene nor did you know anything when it came to what goes on the background of the music industry. Working at a coffee shop wasn’t extravagant or lucrative but it got you through till you could figure what actually was your scene and go from there. 

That’s how you met him. 

On a particularly rough shift, a man was screaming at you about an order that you supposedly got wrong as you tried to control the tears from spilling down your face. 

“How stupid are you?! It’s coffee not a fucking math equation. You just put the right liquid in the right cup and fucking hand it to me! It’s not that hard! Fucking moron.”

“Excuse me.” The man turned just as the handsome gentleman who addressed him hung up his phone and shoved it into his coat pocket. “I understand you’re a bit stressed but I’m going to have to ask you to stop harassing the young lady. It’s not her fault and she’s doing her best.”

“Pfft. Fuck off, douchebag. This doesn’t concern you.”

“It actually does because you couldn’t handle this situation in a quiet calm manner. You’re ruining everyone’s morning including mine. Now…either take the coffee she’s giving you or wait for her to make a new one patiently.”

The man’s fist flew but the gentleman moved out of the way, grabbing his wrist, and twisting it as he forced the man to kneel before him. 

“Ok. If this is the way you want to do this, that’s fine. Sweetheart…” When he addressed you, you immediately stood at attention ready to die for this man if he asked after what he had just done. “Can you hand me that cup there? Thank you.”, he praises, flashing you a small smile that makes you giddy. “Now, apologize to the young lady.”

“Ow, I’m sorry!”, the man cringes when his wrist is twisted a bit more. 

“Good. Take this coffee and get the fuck out of my sight. If I see you here again I won’t be so nice.”

Disregarding the Styrofoam in the gentleman’s hand, the rude customer quickly gets to his feet before running out of the store. Sighing, your hero places the coffee in front of you.

“Thank you…for defending me… He was being such an asshole.”

“Yeah, he was. It’s not your fault he didn’t order the correct thing. I can be an asshole myself but I know when and where to use it.” When you giggled, his beautiful eyes scan you over as if trying to get a read on you with the little information in front of him. 

“Are you, um, are you Edward?”, you ask as you slide him the coffee with the name scrawled across. 

Again, he glances you over and later on you would learn he was looking for recognition. Everyone he interacted with knew his name and who he was. You were the first person in years who seemed to regard him as just another stranger which fascinated him.

“I am but you can call me Eddie. That’s what my friends call me.”

“Oh. Um, we’re friends?”

“For now, but I’d like to be more whenever you’re open to it.”

Another smile stretched across his face when he noticed your own turn bright red as you blushed. 

“You don’t even know my name.”

Coyly, he leans his elbows on to your counter as his eyes stare at your chest. At first you feel self-conscious before you realize he’s looking at your name tag and you let out a tiny laugh to break the tension.

“I’m sorry, I just—”

“Do I make you nervous?” 

“A little.”

“Honest. I like that. How about this. I can pick you up after your shift today and we can start with dinner and go from there.”

“I don’t have any clothes to change into.”

“That’s ok. I think you look perfect as is and I promise when I come get you I won’t be dressed as formal.”

“O-Ok, Eddie.”

“Good. Good girl. I’ll see you tonight.”

That evening, he showed up right as the shop was about to close and when you told him it would be a few more minutes, he nodded as he patiently waited by the front door. You occasionally snuck glances at him as he browsed his phone. True to his word, he wore jeans and sneakers with a nice white button up shirt that he had rolled up to his elbows. With how he looked this morning, you imagined for him this was dressed pretty down. While his hair was slicked back when you last saw him, now his waves seemed to have a mind of their own making him seem less intimidating and quite adorable. 

Eddie asked you so many different questions about yourself, silently listening as you both ate at the restaurant he took you to. You learned fairly quickly, while he seemed like a man of few words, his body language spoke loudly. His chocolate eyes never left yours as he hung on each and every word you spoke. When you said something he found even remotely funny, his lips would flicker into a slight smirk before returning to their proper alignment. When your drink ran low, his finger would raise and a waiter would promptly run your way with a refill and as the night progressed you found his leg leaning against yours with a little sigh escaping his chest when you didn’t shy away. 

“I feel kind of selfish. I’ve been talking about myself a lot but I feel like I don’t know anything about you.”

“Honestly, sweetheart, it’s a nice reprieve. Everyone I run into knows me and my perceived reputation so to finally meet someone who doesn’t know me is a breath of fresh air.”

“Reputation…”, you repeated the word apprehensively. 

“Um, I’m kind of known as being a jerk.”

“You don’t seem like that to me.”

Eddie smiled so wide this time that his teeth came into view and you knew at that moment you’d do whatever it took to see him smile like that as much as possible. 

“Thank you for that. I can be when I need to be. In my line of work people tend to take advantage pretty early on and I wanted this industry to know I’m not someone to fuck with.”

“Do you make movies or?”

“Music. I’m a music producer for some heavy metal bands.”

“Oh wow! That’s so amazing. I would love to know more! Did you use to play?��

When he finally began to open up, hours passed like minutes and you were so entranced that you didn’t even realize the restaurant was getting ready to close. 

Eddie told you at one point he was in a band but hated the way they were cast aside for being “to generic” and “stuck in the past” so he took matters into his own hands. He bought a building and turned it into a label where he could help produce his friend’s music. He learned everything he could about production and managing, getting everything together, and essentially put Corroded Coffin on the map. 

He found that he actually loved working behind the scenes and stuck with it from that point forward. Now he’s a well-respected name in his field earning triple what he would have made as a guitarist. 

“What’s the name of the label you first opened?”

“Franklin Production; my mother’s maiden name. It seemed right because her money bought the building and she always loved music. She died when I was young.”

When his head hung, your heart broke. 

“Oh my God, Eddie. I’m so sorry.”

His mood changed in the blink of an eye as he breathily chuckled and glanced at his watch. 

“Shit, Y/N, it’s almost 1am. You have to be exhausted after your long shift today. Let me pay for our meal here and then I can take you home.”

“We’ve ordered so much food and drinks. Please let me help pay.” He paused at your comment then as his eyes met your now confused ones. “What?”

“I’ve only met one person who ever offered something like you just did and that man is my best friend.”

“I mean…it’s rude…isn’t it? It’s not fair for me to expect you to pay for everything.”

“Fuck me, baby.” Your eyelids visibly flutter at the term of endearment; coming out of his mouth with a sultry husk that made you swoon. “You’re really something special. I appreciate the offer but when you’re with me, honey, I can take care of you. It’s my pleasure quite honestly.”

You watched him pay the waiter and leave him way more than 15% before Eddie grabs your hand, leading you back to his car. 

That night he dropped you off at your apartment continuing to be the perfect gentleman as he walked you to your door and kept his hands behind his back as you slowly turned your key. Before you entered, however, you paused and hastily turned to plant a small kiss on his lips. Without waiting for a retort, you want inside and shut your door with a little giggle, watching through the peephole to see what he’d do. 

Eddie’s fingers softly brushed against his mouth as he grinned the way you enjoyed at the restaurant. 

***

You had been together now for a few months and you loved him with every fiber of your being. Eddie was extremely protective over you insisting you quit your job and move in with him. 

“Sweetheart, I don’t want you being somewhere where some fucker can belittle you and make you feel like trash. I can take care of you till you find a new job that makes you happy and people treat you with the respect you deserve.”

“Eddie, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking; I’m offering.”, he cooed as his hands cupped your cheeks. “You know how much Daddy loves looking after his pretty girl.”

The first time he called himself Daddy, you blushed and hid behind your hands making him smile as he chuckled low in his throat. 

“Have you ever called a man Daddy before?” When you giggle and curl tighter into your body, he climbed into the bed beside you and pulled you to his side. “It’s ok, sweetheart. Nothing to be embarrassed about with me. Can I show you something?”

Eddie grins when you drop your palms and show him your beautiful face. 

“Good girl.”, he praises as he takes ahold of your hand and kisses the back of it. With his eyes locked on yours, he gradually places it on the bulge in his slacks. “You feel that? Do you feel how hard I am just from being around you as is? You don’t have to do or say anything you don’t want to, princess. I’ll still be here and I’ll still want to fuck you till you can barely move.”

A smile twitched on his lips when your breathing stuttered. 

“I-I-I’ve never called anyone Daddy before or done anything that’s not…”

“Vanilla?”, he helped when your sentence stalled. “Vanilla’s ok to. Definitely a delicious flavor that can’t be disregarded. Can I tell you a secret?”

“Of course.”

Eddie leans in till his mouth is just hovering over the shell of your ear. 

“The fact that you’re so nervous and innocent to all this really fucking turns me on.”

When his cock strains a bit more against the fabric and pushes back against your hand, you can’t help but release a little whine as you push your thighs together. 

“What’s wrong, baby? Got a bit of an ache between your legs?”

“Yes.”, you breath out heavily as his palm ghosts up your thigh and his lips tenderly peck along your neck. 

“I can help with that if you want.”

“Y-Yes, Daddy, please.”

Now, you were more than comfortable especially since he was always so patient with you when it came to almost everything. Unlike your past relationships, you were genuinely surprised at how little the two of you fought if at all. Eddie was a force in his business but when you two were together he was always as accommodating as possible. The one time you ever saw his anger directed towards you was when you forgot your phone when you went on a girl’s night out with your friends. 

When you came home at 2 in the morning, he was waiting in the living room and pacing with a glass of whiskey in his hand. 

“It’s 2 in the morning, Y/N! I’ve been worried sick! You forgot your phone. What if something happened to you and you couldn’t reach me!?”

“Eddie, it’s ok! I just forgot it. I promise I’ll do better next time—”

“That’s not the point! What if there hadn’t been a next time!? I’m responsible for you!”

“I don’t know what you want me to say!! I’m sorry!!”

“You watch that fucking tone with me, little girl!”

“Oh yeah. Or what?!”

When the glass in his hand shattered into the wall behind you everything became abruptly silent. Tears stung your eyes as you grabbed the little trashcan nearby and scooted towards the mess, sinking to your knees as you collect the pieces. 

“Y/N, baby. No. No, no. Let me clean this, please.”, Eddie begged, his tone much softer than before as he kneeled beside you. 

When he tried to take the sharp items from your grasp, you angrily pulled away from him. 

“I didn’t mean to forget my phone. It was an honest mistake and you had no right screaming at me like you just did!”

“I know. You’re right, sweetheart. You are absolutely right. I just… fuck… I’m so sorry, Y/N. I love you so much and the idea of something happening to you or you getting hurt just terrifies me. I shouldn’t have reacted this way.”

Blinking up at him, your hand reaches for his own. 

“You love me?”

“Yeah, Y/N, of course. Since I met you behind that coffee counter.”

After tackling him excitedly, you beamed as you kissed his lips. 

“I love you to.”

People on the outside didn’t seem to understand why you were with him but they didn’t know him the way you did. Eddie was sweet, funny, and incredibly kind despite his hardened outer exterior. According to the man himself, the only other person who understood him the same way you did was a man you had yet to meet. 

#############

Steven Harrington was a name you knew solely due to his reputation in media. 

He was always portrayed as just another trust fund baby who was utilizing daddy’s money to do whatever he wanted. He got in trouble constantly but brushed it off with a sexy smile and a calm demeanor that made even the biggest skeptic want to trust him.

The first time Eddie mentioned him by name was after you noticed him watching one of Steve’s interviews. 

“Fucking idiot.”, he chuckled light-heartedly, turning the screen of his phone so you could watch to when you climbed into bed beside him. “This is the guy I was telling you about. Steve Harrington has been my best friend for years.”

“This is your best friend?”

When he nods, you focus on the interview in front of you.

“No, no. Trust me, that company would be crazy to sell right now in this economy. Once things bounce back it will be worth way more than it is now. Then again…if they sell I could buy it and turn it into a hotel or some s***. Go ahead than! Sell that f***er!”, he laughs making you giggle as well when his nose scrunches adorably. 

“Steve is actually a very clever business guy. People constantly underestimate him because he acts like a playboy.”

“So…he’s the yin to your yang?”

Eddie smirks down at you before kissing your forehead. 

“You could say that.”

The more your boyfriend told you about him the more you wanted to meet him. Eddie seemed to genuinely care about this person and as his girlfriend you wanted him to get to know him as well. The first time you spoke to him was after you moved in with Ed and he called to congratulate you both. 

“Hey! Are you Y/N?”

“I am.”, you grin. 

“Oh good. I don’t know what I would have done if you said no. ‘EDDIE! Some random pretty girl is in your place!’”, Steve laughed. 

“Pft. How do you know I’m pretty?”

“Because a sexy voice like yours must be inside a beautiful woman. I’m kind of jealous.”

He said it so smoothly that if you weren’t already sitting you’re sure his words would have knocked you off your feet. Your eyes glanced towards Eddie who was watching you from his spot on the couch. 

“Uh oh. Did I lose you, honey? Sorry. Sometimes I come on a bit too strong.”

“No, no. It’s ok. You just… you remind me of him.”, you exhale as you get up and walk towards your boyfriend. 

“Of who? Of Eddie? I take that as a compliment. He’s a good man.”

“Yeah he is but that’s not exactly what I meant.”

“Oh? Well then use your words, pretty girl. Who do I remind you of? I’m DYING to know.”

Eddie softly smirks as he watches your breathing stagger the same way it does when you’re intimidated by something. His ring covered fingers gently trace down your arm making you shiver. 

“Tell me.”

The two words that followed came out as a strong command that told you to obey. The contradiction of how he spoke now to how he had before made you dizzy and you desperately wanted more. 

“Daddy.”

After tossing the phone next to Eddie, you covered your face with your palms and ran up the stairs. A few moments later, the man you loved climbed into bed beside you and collected you into his arms. 

“Talk to me, baby. Remember, no matter what there’s nothing to be embaressed about, ok?” He smiled when he felt you nod against his chest. “I know Steve can be a bit much at first but he’s a good person who’s been through a lot of bullshit.”

As you sniffle, you tilt back so you could see his face. 

“I feel bad.”

“About what, sweetheart?”

“I liked the way he spoke to me. It turned me on the same way you do.”

“Ok…why does that make you feel bad?”

You shrug. “I love you.”

That makes him genuinely smile. 

“I love you to, Y/N, so much. That’s why I trust you, babe. I, um, I have a confession to make.” When you sit up to give him your full attention, he does the same. “I’ve known Steve for a long time and I trust that man with my life. I’ve told him things I’ve never told anyone and he’s done the same. You said, sweetheart, he’s the yin to my yang and you’re right. Fuck… how do I say this…”

“You want to share me?”

The innocent way you asked your question drove him insane but he pushed down the need to fuck you for the time being. 

“Kind of, yes. I…I wanted to see how you two got along and if it worked out, maybe, we could fly to go meet him and… you’d still be mine but he’d—”

“Use me.”

“Fuck, baby, you have to stop saying things like that the way you are.”, Eddie panted excitedly as he adjusted the growing bulge in his pants. 

“May I ask why? Why you would want to share me like that?”

“Of course, Y/N, you can always ask me anything. You hold the power here especially when it comes to this. I just… he’s my best friend and I want him to be happy to. In these past few months, you’ve changed my world and I just want to give him some of that. I, um, I also think…”

“Tell me, Daddy. Please.”, you beg in your tiny voice that has his eyes closing as he tries to control himself. 

“Fuck… I think it would be incredibly hot to watch you fuck him.”

You had told him you were open but apprehensive because it was all new territory for you. Both men came up with an idea to help you get acclimated to the idea. 

“Hey all. Wow, Jesus Christ Munson, you undersold your girlfriend’s beauty. Hot damn.”

You giggled as Eddie rolled his eyes at his friend who was laughing himself from his side of the computer screen. It looked like Steve had the device he was using for this facetime visit resting on his lower stomach as he leaned against the headboard of his bed looking incredibly sexy with his ruffled hair and tank top just barely covering the chest hair that littered his skin. 

Eddie had you sitting in between his own legs as he rested his head against your shoulder and his arms hugged you to him. 

“I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable. If I do at any point please just let me know and I’ll respect your boundaries.”

“You don’t make me uncomfortable but, uh, you kind of intimidate me a bit…more than Eddie did.”

“Is it because I start at 10 and go from there? Yeah, casualties of growing up in chaotic household and then starting a business where your biggest competitor is your father.”

“What DO you do? Ed said you’re an investor?”

“Kind of.  I invested in a friend’s tech company many years ago and that paid off in a big way. They make medical supplies that are high quality for a cheaper price. I’m trying to expand so we can invest in more—Pfft! Listen to me talking about all that bullshit. Let’s talk about something else.”

“No, hey! That’s amazing that you do that. My father needed supplies like that but it was so hard for him to afford stuff. You’ve probably helped so many people. What supplies has your company helped make?”

Steve blinked, sitting up straighter.

“Huh.”

“I told you.”, Eddie sings as he places a delicate kiss along your skin. 

“D-Did I do something wrong? Am I not allowed to ask him questions?”, you asked genuinely worried you crossed a line. 

“Most people, let alone women, don’t care enough to ask us things like you just did.”

“Maybe you two are spending time around the wrong people.”

“Maybe… Damn, Eddie. She’s perfect. Where did you find her because obviously I’ve been looking in the wrong places.”

“Hm. I found her in a coffee shop being yelled at by some asshole. Fucker.”, he growled before you tilted back and kissed his cheek. “It’s not just her personality either. Her body fucking drives me crazy. Even just watching her walk from the bed to the bathroom makes me so fucking hard.”

“Yeah? Your Daddy says you have sexy body. Can you show it to me?”

“Only if you’re comfortable, princess.”, Eddie whispers in your ear.

“Can you help me, Daddy?”

Nodding, he removes each item of your clothing till you were naked for the man on the screen in front of you. 

“Fuck me. I’m not just saying this, Y/N, but you’re so gorgeous.”

“Thank you.”, you groan as you lick your lips. “May I see you?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.”, he smirks. 

Your whole body tingled as you watched him undress until you sucked in a sharp intake of air when his cock sprang free from his cotton confinement. 

“He’s so big.”, you murmur against Eddie’s cheek as his eyes remain downcast to focus on you. “How will it fit?”

“We’ll make fit, pretty girl. Steve and I can take care of you.”

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah. Little one is worried about your splitting her in half. “

“Don’t worry, honey, I’m a gentleman to. I’m not going to just shove my dick inside of you. Even if it takes hours, we can eat and finger your little pussy till she’s ready.”

“Fuck, Daddy, please.”

Aggressively, Eddie opens your legs wide putting you on display and making Steve groan. 

“Wet already and no one’s even touched you yet.”, he responded mockingly before leaning over his cock to spit on his tip and stroke himself. “How tight is she, Munson?”

You moaned loudly as Eddie inserted two of his thick fingers into your cunt and your head leaned back against him.

“So fucking tight, Harrington, and greedy. Her pussy just sucks me in and chokes my dick when she cums. Add in her sexy little noises and the way her face scrunches…” 

“Open your eyes, Y/N.” Steve smiles when you do what he asks. “Good girl. She listens to. Fuck, baby, don’t take those eyes off me. God, I’m—mmm—I’m dying to feel those pretty lips around my cock.”

“You’re really good at sucking cock, aren’t you, sweetheart?”

“Y-Yes, Daddy. I’m…M’close.”

“I know, pretty girl. I can feel it. Why don’t you tell Stevie how bad you want his cum.”

You mewl as Eddie moves at a faster pace with the sound of your slick echoing around the room. 

“Please, Mr. Harrington, Sir. I-I-I want your cum so much. I want to feel you—ahhhh—feel your cock in my mouth till you spill down my throat.”

“Jesus Christ.”, he grunted and you both watched as his release hit his thigh. 

“You did so good, sweetheart. Cum for Daddy now, baby.”, Eddie praised as your back pushed against his chest and you panted as you came. “That’s my girl. Good girl. Ride it out on my fingers till you come back to me. That’s it.”

“Fucking hell. That was amazing, honey.” Steve watch with fascination as you turned your body and wrapped an arm around Eddie’s chest as you curled into his warm chest. “Everything ok?”

“She’s fine. It’s something baby girl does when she cums hard like that. She’ll squeeze me like a fucking Teddy bear and fall asleep. Sometimes it’s for a few minutes or a few hours. At first I thought it was the headspace but I don’t know. Either way I love it.”

“Yeah, man. If she had a good time and is open to it I have that party coming up in a month. You two can fly down and we can hang out. Of course, nothing has to happen. I can always just show you guys around and get to know her more.”

“I’ll let you know when she wakes up and we talk about it.”

“No problem. No problem. Hey, maybe at most, you and I can fuck around.”, Steve replies as he coyly raises his eyebrows making his friend laugh.

“Ok, calm down over there.”

“Oh, come on. Not like it would be the first time—”

“Good night, asshole.”, Eddie teases as he cuts him off and closes the laptop.

#################

“Are you alright, sweetheart?”, Eddie asks as he watches you fidget with your hands as you stare at your reflection in the metal of the elevator. 

“Yeah. I’m just a little nervous. This is your best friend and I know how much he means to you. I don’t want to…I don’t know…fuck anything up.”

“Fuck, I still think it’s hot when you get all jittery like this.”, he chuckles as he takes your palm in his. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about. I love you so I know for a fact he will. Just keep being your unique self, baby, and no matter what I’ll be here if you need anything.”

When he flashes you that big toothy grin, you can’t help but smile back as you lean up on your toes to kiss his lips. The doors abruptly swing open and your boyfriend’s demeanor instantly hardens at the sound of loud party guests in the room you both step into. 

Your eyes swing around the area with no sign of the host himself. 

Tugging on Eddie’s bicep, you lead him to the drink station where you desperately chug down some liquid courage as you pray that tonight goes as smoothly as possible.

[sehnsuchts-trunken]

I'll Show You Just How Sad I Am

a raymond smith x reader quick little blurb, just 1k words

there's mentions of smut in this so read at your own risk <33 who knows, maybe raymond will make a more regular occurrence on my blog over the next few weeks

here's my masterlist in case you want to check out my other works

"Should be the door to your left, honey."

Your voice is sweet in his ear, a pleasant distraction from the run-down building Mickey had sent him off to. It's smelly and dirty and even though he knows he should most likely feel pity, he's still just as disgusted. He'd be with you in a heartbeat if he could, safe and clean in the comfort of your home.

"Mickey should've sent a cleaning lady", he grunts as he knocks at the door, your chuckle almost making up for the very truthful, thinly veiled anger behind his words.

"Mickey wanted you because you're the best", you recite - you've told him often enough by now that it really is reciting. "And because he trusts you to keep this clean."

Which is easier said than done.

Twenty minutes later, the whole thing's anything but clean.

Sure, he'd very much accomplished bringing Laura home - but he'd also left a dead teenager in a puddle of blood about two stories down from where he should've been sitting.

"Left, left!", you call into the mic. Even though you're far from panicking, you're still much too loud, your voice flowing from his earpiece and stinging his brain.

"I'm trying, darling", he grunts back, breathless and panting as he pushes on, one foot in front of the other on the pavement of some random South London streets.

"I know, I know", you sigh. He isn't sure whether he's actually hearing you chew on your lip or imagining it, but he doesn't really have the capacity to think too much about it at the moment. "He's right in front of you. You've got him, Ray."

Yeah... The only problem is that what you must be seeing as a moving, flashing dot on a digital map, he's seeing as a bunch of teenagers trying to look intimidating. Probably feeling intimidating too. God, this is exactly why he didn't want the job. He isn't made for the fucking low-classed youth.

"You've seen enough?", that bastard of a boy spits at him. "Now I've got backup."

Raymond steadies his hands on his thighs and takes a deep breath in.

"You couldn't back up a phone, you cunt", he rasps, his erratic heartbeat slowly starting to calm back down.

"Raymond", you scold. "That's a child."

"That's a bastard", he mutters, before he finally straightens and tries his best at a somewhat mannered bargain. He's really only here for the fucking phone. He needs those pictures, then he's gone. He doesn't want to leave more unnecessary corpses to take care of.

So he offers them money. Which is something that they should definitely take, just judging by how they look. Plus a visit to a very good psychiatrist. But they don't. It's the same fucking bastard who's taken the pictures in the first case and got him into this mess that refuses - and in such a really stupid way, too: "How 'bout you give us that bag and be gone anyway?" - god, even you let out a choked up laugh at that, your breath carrying through the mic and into Ray's earpiece.

He drops his chin to his chest and shakes his head. What a fucking bunch of idiots. Goddamn it. He can feel his blood boil, hot and hotter.

"It's bait", you mutter, your voice low. "Calm down, love. You've got a machine gun. Use it."

Yeah, fucking hell, it's bait, he knows that. It doesn't change the way he's feeling. But your voice in his ear at least brings him back down to reality.

"Right", he grunts, then he swipes his coat to the side, closes his hand around the grip of the gun and steadies his fingertips against the trigger. He pulls it out in one swift motion, points it at the sky and shoots. For a good three seconds longer than necessary.

"Just like that", you breathe, your grin dripping down onto your voice and melting into his ear like honey. You've really got to stop that, he actually loses his focus for half a moment there and in his line of work, next time that means sure death.

The entire bunch of teenage boys flees - as expected - and in less than a minute, Raymond has the phone pressed into his palm.

"God, sometimes I really hate that I'm not there", you sigh, something in the background ruffling, probably as you shift into a more comfortable position on your chair. "Kinda wish I could've seen you."

"Run after a little cunt like that? You didn't miss anything, darling", he says, turning his head left and right before he strides back towards the car, his steps long and purposeful.

"Turn the corner here", you mutter, your voice taking on that specific tone that tells him there's a lazy grin licking at your lips. He can just imagine how you're looking (especially now that he has the time and freedom of mind for it) - one foot propped up on those bar stools that you'd bought for the kitchen, your equipment organised on the table top in front of you, his shirt hanging from your shoulders and pooling in your lap, your head tilted back and your eyes half-closed as you talk to him.

"I don't mean the little idiot", you go on, undeterred even as he narrowly avoids a trash can. Fuck, you really distract him too much. "I'm talking about you. God, you sounded so hot I wanted to jump at you. Actually scratch that, I still do."

He lets out a chuckle as he spots the car, his steps slowing. He should hurry up, he knows that. But he's got you in his ear, talking in that sweet voice of yours about just how much he affects you. He can't pass up on that.

"You're a little fuckin' minx, darling", he mutters with a grin, throwing a glance over his shoulder to check if there's any possibility he could be overheard. He doesn't necessarily feel like making your conversation public, even as you hum into the microphone.

"Yeah, but yours", you mumble. It sounds like you're almost proud of that. "Here's an idea, love: Get back home before I finish my shower and I'll show you just how sad I am that I couldn't watch you."

[vaguely-concerned]

Silly Garashir ficlet, Teen and Up-ish, mostly banter! CW: copious amounts of blood but like. Purely in a comedy capacity (don’t worry none of it is Garak’s)

“Good god,” Julian breathed, unable to do anything but stare for a moment. 

“Oh, don’t worry, none of this is mine,” Garak said, dripping puddles of crimson onto the floor, calm blue eyes the only thing peeking out from the solid layer of blood covering his face and upper torso. “The gravest injury has been to my wardrobe, I assure you. As you might have gathered, I encountered our suspected evildoer as they sought to make their escape.”

“From the looks of things, I’d hazard it’s more accurate to say that they encountered you,” Julian said. He shook himself out of his momentary petrification and raised the medical tricorder to make sure Garak’s reports of being unharmed hadn’t been greatly exaggerated, as would sometimes be the case with him. 

“However you would prefer to frame it,” Garak said, dipping his chin modestly and blinking globs of blood from his eyelashes. “I’m sorry to say I couldn’t ascertain many details about them, neither in terms of species or other identifying details. They were masked and coming at me with a knife at the time, which in the moment tends to blot out other considerations in one’s mind.”

Despite himself, Julian grinned at the performative airiness of Garak’s tone. He did seem to be basically fine. “I think that’s understandable under the circumstances, Garak. Odo’s probably going to track them down pretty quick, if they’re leaving a trail of blood across the station. Do you, er… want a handkerchief or something?” 

“It’s very kind of you to offer, but I don’t think that’s going to do the job in this case.”  

“No,” Julian had to admit, “no, you’re — probably right. I’ll let you go for a thorough sonic and peace and quiet once I’m done with this. I’m sure Odo will want a word with you later, though.”

Garak parted his lips to say something, and grimaced. “Ugh. Well, if it’s any help in figuring out the identity of our culprit, that’s definitely the taste of Napean blood. As you mentioned there will of course also likely be other clues, like them bleeding profusely as they sprint across the Promenade, but I always strive to be helpful wherever I can.” 

“Garak!” Julian yelped, shooting him an alarmed look and continuing his inspection of the tricorder readings with renewed worry. 

“Hm? Yes? You can run whatever tests you want on it to be sure, of course, but I am quite certain in my conclusion. There is a… distinctive tang to —”

“That’s so medically unsafe, you can’t go around ingesting —” 

“Well, I hardly meant to ingest anything, Doctor, but it did end up all over my person in a way that makes it hard to entirely avoid,” Garak snapped, though he tolerated Julian going in for a second, even more thorough examination without complaint. “Maybe if this person hadn’t so rudely insisted on venting the contents of their arteries straight into my face during our tussle — ”

“Yes, yes, I understand, sorry, I wasn’t suggesting you did it on purpose or anything, but it does mean I really do need to monitor you for any allergic reactions or bloodborne… wait, wait, hang on, how do you even know what Napean blood — ”

Smiling in a way that aimed for beatific and missed it by way of too many bared teeth, in a manner that would probably be quite unsettling if Julian wasn’t so used to (so fond of, whispered a treacherous little voice in the back of his head) Garak’s face, Garak dabbed daintily at the worst of the blood dripping off his nose with his sleeve and said: “Do you really want to know, or is this your outsized curiosity running ahead of your better judgment again?”

“I’m going to be wondering about it all night, but no, I don’t think I want to know, actually. If I come back in a week and still can’t put it out of my mind, feel free to tell me, though. Or use that time to come up with a good story, I don’t mind.”

“Never any but the best for you, my friend,” Garak said fondly. 

[xshingie]

Exploring The Narrative Significance of Edouard's Blue eyes

Something that piqued my interest was the fact that Annette was so insistent when she saw NightCreature!Edouard, she was so convinced it was him and she would not consider any opinion otherwise. Initially, one might think it speaks to the implicit depth of their connection that she would recognize… but perhaps, what if it speaks more to Annette might have perceived how well she /thought/ she knew him? What possibly would have occurred for Annette to retain Edouard's eyes in her memory so vividly?

This below quote from All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren serves as the springboard for my inspiration for what eventually became my Annette/Edouard short story, Yours Truly https://archiveofourown.org/works/51906367 (I also sampled the phrasing as well):

"I suppose that that day I first saw Anne and Adam as separate, individual people, whose ways of acting were special, mysterious, and important. And perhaps, too, that day I first saw myself as a person. But that is not what I am talking about. What happened was this: I got an image in my head that never got out. We see a great many things, but that is different. We get very few of the true images in our heads of the kind I am talking about, the kind which become more and more vivid for us as if the passage of the years did not obscure their reality but, year by year, drew off another veil to expose a meaning which we had only dimly surmised at first. Very probably the last veil will not be removed, for there are not enough years, but the brightness of the image increases and our conviction increase that the brightness is meaning, or the legend of meaning, and without the image our lives would be nothing except an old piece of film rolled on a spool and thrown into a desk drawer among the unanswered letters."

I took inspiration from the concept described above: In Yours Truly, Edouard had tried to tell her something she didn't have a concept of understanding at the time. And yet, it's with narrative irony that when Annette looks into his eyes, despite color being so clear, but she couldn't really get a good "read" into him. The most we know about Edouard is through Annette's lens, and she describes him in a very romanticized, idealized manner -- which hints to me that she views him in a special way, but doesn't understand him -- not really.

This is veering into headcanon territory by this point, but a distinct vibe I picked up from Edouard is that while he is friendly and appears to be warm, kind and collegial, he seems to almost keep people an arm's length distance, revealing almost nothing (vulnerable) about himself in his interactions with others. If you look at these screencaps, his eyes are so bright, but his smile is very subdued and tight-lipped -- even his eyes don't really convey any turbulent emotions. I think Edouard might have been kept a lot to himself, which partially contributes to Annette not really understanding him on a deeper level. Hence the feeling of staring at something, which is calm, serene… but tells you nothing about the person themselves. Although it may sound romantic when I describe the feeling of looking into Edouard's eyes "as reflecting her soul like a still gemstone", what I had actually intended to convey that relationship between Annette and Edouard, while undoubtedly close and Annette grew to understand herself on a deeper because of him, this very quality actually was capped the limitation of Annette/Edouard's connection.

Edouard seems to give off a vibe that he keeps people at a certain arm's length, all the while being able to charm people (""I make them [the nobles] happy, and they lower their guard and loosen their tongues.") while keeping is own guard up, I took a lot of care to weave in in a lot of subtleties that showed both a mismatch in understanding and Edouard keeping an arm's distance. Edouard sidesteps her question and doesn't tell her who exactly who he's writing to. He brings up that everyone has their own reason for fighting, but he doesn't reveal his own. He tries to get Annette to get interested in writing, explaining letters on an abstract romantic level; he shares a personal story about his grandmother, but all Annette's response is that she doesn't understand.

What was Edouard keeping to himself, that he never shared with Annette? Perhaps he was reconciling with the inner conflicts of his mixed heritage. Perhaps he was dealing with his own demons or vices that would have condemned him to Hell to enable him to become a Night Creature in the first place.

This "image" that Annette had of Edouard's eyes in her mind, represents the image that continued to stay with her, as she gradually begins to understand what Edouard was trying to convey to her on a deeper level.

(and why yes, to write this I did spend an inordinate amount of time starting of screencaps of Edouard to try to incisively capture the vibe of what it feels like when Edouard looks at you with those gorgeous AF eyes of his lol)

A huge thank you to ladyeama/@pansexual-chocolate for being an amazing headcanon partner in all of this!

[system-of-a-feather]

Re-establishing Baseline Plan

Since moving, I've (completely understandably and expectedly) had my baseline kinda fucked (did not help by with financial stress + job incompatibility + ear infection + really bad post ear infection cold + probable norovirus in literally one month) and so I've been really overloaded, stressed, and just in a place of mostly survival mode where most of my energy is focused on maintaining my mental and physical state in the easiest manners possible

I have been holding up well all things considered and have set up for a probably more compatible job + my fiance has managed to get a job again that he feels will probably work out well for him and I have at least like a week off between jobs to reorientate myself

So to take a good and active effort to make the best of this time, I want to make a plan to set myself up for success. I actually do this every so often when I really need to pick myself up (historically Lucille would usually do it but pros of being basically fully integrated is that I am Lucille as well as me) and I figured it would be a neat thing to display and demonstrate here cause I'd end up making it *anyways* so why not share with the class

If anyone likes this, yall can borrow it ^^

-----

Question One: What current coping skills and hobbies am I currently doing and trying with my time? Are they affective and would I like to change them?

Art, Drawing, Character Design, Art Fight Prep, Story Planning and Writing

This is one of the easiest and most reliable positive coping mechanisms and has gotten me through the majority of the month mostly on it's own. Compared to other coping mechanisms, this one is almost always something I can drag myself to do or at least ask someone to supervise me to make sure I do it when I feel I need some sort of self care. It serves greatly as an alternative when I find that I am doing maladaptive coping that I would rather not do and when in doubt, it has access to some level of social engagement should I feel I need that. With that being said, having relied largely on this for a month, this is suffering diminishing returns and starting to lead to general lack of inspiration and so diversification from this coping mechanism would be ideal

Weekend Gym Trips

This is actually a really good way for me to release energy, give myself space and time to think, and just feel better moving and existing in my body. It also mandates time for me to listen to music and serves a meditative purpose. That said, I have only been doing this on Saturdays and only once on Sunday and I would like to expand that to be at least 3 times a week or at least more spaced out.

Reading Semi Regularly

This is a new habit and coping I picked up and its actually really good! It provides a unique sense of calm when I need it. Unfortunately I've started to drop off the past week due to general stress and illness, so I think its important to return to this. Perhaps set a general goal of "every other day" rather than every day to lessen the pressure.

Video Games

This was helpful but lately I have been not motivated to play anything and I believe its been burnt out. I think it would be good to resume this but it is currently impractical to force at the moment until overall wellness has returned.

TV with Boy

This is helpful but unforunately nothing seems to interest either of us to watch right now. (cri life is hard /lh)

Board Games with Boy

This is a new one and has actually been very nice. That said, it isn't always available and dependent on my fiance's ability to have the energy, time and interest to play them, particularly since I know he is less interested in board games than me. It is good to maintain the interest and offer, but not a coping skill to become reliant on.

Question Two: What sorts of things that I am currently not doing do I know tend to define behaviors, habits, hobbies, and interests that are done when I am out of survival mode and genuinely enjoying life?

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

Engagement in Exploration and just independent travels without individuals

Engagement and interest in occasionally reaching out to Buddhist environments

Producing art work for the story that is more developed and inspired rather than "quick" or "reference" focused - actually focusing on the creative and artistic expression rather than the practical expression

Increased social circle communication irl beyond my online bestie, fiance, and online friend group chat; reaching out to individuals and developing new irl friendships

Question Three: Which of those hobbies do I think could be the most reasonable and easy to meet sooner than later (even better if I can make steps to start that right now / today)? In what ways could I make steps to make those first changes and help set myself up for success on expanding my engagement with life beyond survival mode?

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

While I am not extensively motivated in any manner to watch anything in particular, I am starting to randomly get a lot of bleach related stuff on my youtube and I have been meaning to watch TYBW arc. I have been postponing it because of arbitrary "I wanna read the manga first" and just general other excuses, but realistically those are putting up barriers that I may not get to at this rate and currently I could just use something I'm somewhat interested in to give me some independent relaxing engagement. I think I can set the goal of actually watching Bleach TYBW at least an episode a day starting either today or tomorrow and see if that can bring a momentum and habit into actually being able to watch things that interest me on my own.

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

I can probably actually take my violin back out. The guitar would probably be better but for whatever reason I feel that my brain thinks that would require more - for a lack of better word - work, so I think I can at least try to find time this week to at least play a little bit of my violin.

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers + "increased social irl connection [...]"

I can reach out and text my new irl birding connections to see if they are interested; if not I can at least plan to take a birding trip later

Engagement in Buddhist Stuff

I know there is an area I've been thinking of visiting that has free english services on Tuesday, I can make plans to go there that day, particularly since my Fiance should be working for the first day then anyways.

Question Four: What are additional goals and check points that we would like to try to bring us closer to the life style that we know tends to support a thriving mental state and life satisfaction rather than one of survival?

Independent Travels

During the time I have, I can keep in mind this goal and if I have down time think of potentially interesting and alternative places to go to explore; additionally I can plan birding trips to places I have not yet checked out.

Increased Social IRL Connection

It is dependent on if my now-ex-coworker still is interested, but I can follow up and see if we want to still play board games; if not I think potential more ways to reach out will be more viable to plan once a higher level of baseline is established; potentially see if there are any in person DnD groups around that I could make a habit of going to or any martial art dojos that we can afford

More Inspired Art

I think this is something that will come with time between lessening the burn out of my current art-as-a-coping mechanism goal as well as actually engaging in more media and independent interests as to gain more inspiration.

Question Five: Summarize the Key Points and Plans Discussed in This into a Bullet Points of Take Aways

Modifying Current Coping:

Diversify and lean off of using art as a main coping mechanism; give that one a break

Attempt to go to the gym more frequently or at least space it out more throughout the week

Continue reading; lessen the ideal to every other day in case demand pressure is adversely affecting it

Keep an open interest in playing board games with fiance

Changes I Want To Make Soon:

Start watching Bleach TYBW w/ at least one episode a day

Bring out my violin and try to at least play with it for one hour this week

Reach out to new bird peers to see if they want to plan a birding trip sometime, if not then plan one independently

Make plans to go to that place on Tuesday for the open Buddhist service

Changes to Keep an Eye Out For:

Opportunities to go somewhere new randomly for no particular reason or goal in mind other than to just see whats around us

Spoons and time availability to see out places to expand our irl social circles

Inspiration for art in general

Question Six: Set for Regular Follow Ups to Check Progress

Isn't tumblr's queue / schedule function super neat for this

[ppcocainislifeee]

Carl grimes x fem reader -comic books 

Hi, this is my first fanfic. This has been in the drafts for a while. I made this like a couple months ago at like midnight so if there’s any thing you don’t understand I am so sorry or if there’s some thing that you can’t read I’m really sorry💋💋

___________________________________

you and Carl have been friends since the farm but best friends since the prison. It’s been a while since you and the group got to Alexandra.

something in the friend group started changing. instead of just staring at a distance you would actually go up and talk to him.

you were really talkative and he love that about you.

After everything happened with Negan and he lost his eye. You were one of the only ones there who helped him along with his dad, Michonne, and there’s a part of the group.on your 19th birthday.

He got you a necklace but not just any necklace, a necklace that you seen in a store but felt too bad to take. he was a great friend like that(was he really just a friend tho) so on his birthday, you decided to surprise him with something special to him.

A Deadpool comic you haven’t seen him read.As you walk up to the door to the house The door flies open and it’s Mr.grimes leaving on a hunt to see what they can find.

“Oh hey I did see you there” Rick saus surprisingly.”ah sorry I was just about to knock is Carl here? I have something to give him you know he actually got me something for my birthday!” You say surprised but also excited. “Umm i’m pretty sure he’s in his room at this time-“ he looks behind you and says” all right sweetheart I have to go tell Carl I’ll be back” he says to you as he walks past you and put his hand on your shoulder as he walks away. you smile at the way that you think Carl would react to the gift.

as you walk in the house, you put it all behind you, and you basically make a sprint to he’s room, when you got there your food with your jean belt loops and waited a little bit before heading him. “Huh? Who is it?” he says, in a confusing manner, “it’s me ( ) can I come in?” The door Open quickly , “( ) you know you could’ve just walked in right??” he says he ushers you to come in.

As you do you get the slight nervous feeling in your stomach.”so I got you something” you drag the so out a little as you say that and pop down on his bed. “What? why?” He says, as he sits down next to you“ because you got me something” you say smiling.

He brushes at the site of you smiling, you gave him the gift that was poorly wrapped him, and whatever paper you could find.” don’t question me on my rapping abilities. OK I did my best.” you say laughing a bit as he opens it you seen his face light up,”hole shit! No way you got me this! How? where? I don’t have this one yet, and I’ve been reading them out of order…what how did you know I don’t have this one?” I asked you in an excited voice.”wellll I had to snoop a little bit” you say biting your lip, he looks at you for a moment, staring into your eyes.

You’re getting embarrassed little bit ”is there something on my face?” You say because using someone in a movie say that.”omg can you-“ “Can I kiss you” he says Breaking you from your speech, use at there a moment, stunned. I thought about it for a minute(actually, more like two seconds) “oh shit my bad I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable” he starts profusely apologizing as do he stands up

Stand up quickly after him”no! I mean no you did make me uncomfortable I was actually perfectly fine” you say trying to calm down”Noo i’m sorry do you want my closest friends I don’t wanna ruin th-“

before he can finish a sentence, you kiss him hard. you kissing passionately as his hand moves to your waist and up your back. “Mhm” you can prove you more seconds, until you need to pull back for air. “i’m perfectly comfortable with you right now” he looks at you in disbelief and you see a shin in his eye, “sooo does that mean you like me?” he says grinning wide “nooo not at all” you say, hugging him tightly laughing at yourself “awww man y guess I’ll kiss you again and try again”

__________________________________________

AHHHH I can’t believe I’m gonna post this, but ykk YOLO anyway, just a reminder you’re beautiful anyway you are and if you don’t think so, kiss me💋💋

[doodlegraveyard]

I also wanted to know how you felt about the pixies and if you were going to use them in your au

@seth-the-whalelord you are two for two on 'asking very simple questions that send me into a brain spiral' lol thank you this is. actually very useful for getting me to figure this stuff out. This is what i've gotten to write thru on my lunch break.

So! Pixies.

Once again I have no idea if I’m about to spout an Unpopular Opinion or not but…..I don’t like…..little, ‘Mascot’ characters. And I tend not to like the Pixies. Theyre trying Too Hard to be Beloved and it CAN be pulled off..........but I’m sorry I can’t stand their shrill little voices………………

I GET that it’s a kids show and you want little critters to appeal to little kids and sell toys of but like… the cast of Winx is HUGE and bloated at a baseline?? Like the Winx and Specialists by themselves are already so much to deal with. I will say upon rewatch, the Pixies are definitely better than like, any of the other little critters they add in later seasons. There are definitely episodes where the pixies Work and aren't completely overwhelming, and they're liked enough to be worth keeping, conceptually.

I like the idea of the pixies being plot relevant to the fairies development, and I actually have been thinking about explicitly tying them to charmix (or, idk if I’m keeping the concept of Charmix entirely intact because its BARELY a form. But i guess it can remain as a concept, and as a stepping stone to leveling up a fairy has to get her pixie/charmix (so its a standard step not just something the Winx girls have)

I really like how Amore and Chatta specifically contrast Stella/Flora’s respective personalities, because it brings to mind to me that charmix is supposed to be about overcoming some personal fear or weakness/character flaw, it makes sense to me to tie them together.

THAT SAID some of the pixie/fairy relationships are stronger than others.

Lockette’s theming as Pixie of Portals/a wayfinder can be styled as helping Bloom who is currently feeling ‘lost’ in an unfamiliar world, help her navigate both herself learning about and her newly discovered backstory/identity. I think that pretty much works: Lockette encourages Bloom to find the truth even if she’s kind of afraid to/ has been avoiding it. Amore’s calm peacekeeper demeanor definitely helps to temper Stella, and I feel like she could help deal with issues of not just romantic love but her relationships with her friends and her parents. I think Stella is full of love and affection, but doesn’t always show it / in the most considerate way.

Chatta forcing Flora to talk to Helia about her feelings is a pretty good example of what she brings to the table there, though I never want it to be just flattened to Flora’s romantic subplot - Flora could do with speaking up more in general! Have her forced to intercede in a friend conflict or assert herself when previously she was just letting the group overrule her!

Piff. I am conflicted about. Because like… she’s just a fuckin’ baby. there's a limited amount of personality there. She's sleepy. She's baby. I guess I think it’s cute that she helps Aisha with her bad dreams. I knee-jerk wondered if it was in bad taste to ‘mom-ify’ Aisha by giving her effectively a baby to care for but it really doesn’t read like that too much because Aisha is arguably one of the best-written and most complex of the girls. Piff could play a dual role - as someone Aisha has to stand up for and be brave for, but also a manifestation of childish wonder, to push Aisha to enjoy things she maybe didn’t have the opportunity to experience as a kid.

Tune is where it starts to lose me. I get it, Musa is tomboyish and brash and Tune is about manners but that really doesn’t feel as…important a problem to deal with? I feel like it may be a thing where Musa has to like… repair difficult relationships she has that are made rockier by how quick she is to argue, or maybe take responsibility for mistakes - like a formal apology and maturely talking about things rather than being avoidant? I’m not sure it’s best styled as ‘Etiquette’ if that’s the case. I’m taking suggestions on this one idk.

Aaaaaand they didn’t even try with Digit. She’s just a Flanderized version of Tecna. It doesn’t feel like she contrasts or challenges Tecna’s personality in any interesting way...Idk I kind of feel like she has to be changed whole cloth?

I know they replaced Tune and Digit but I’m not as familiar with Cherie or Caramel. I might look into whether their concepts work better for Musa and Tecna character arcs as they are currently swirling around in my head. What's the general consensus on those two?

My design thoughts are. I want to make the pixies much more…. Abstract I guess? What if they’re not their own species as much as concentrated sparks of magic - Fairies generate a lot of excess magic, hence ‘their pixie’ is actually a part of them - a little external manifestation of their magic fissured off my whatever internal conflicts or unaddressed needs they have, and resolving that allows them to re fuse with the Fairy? (Bonus: pixies are only around when relevant and I can poof them away when I don’t want them in a scene lol)

[g8dess]

🥰😡☕️🙈 + obey me s/i? hii by the way hgssfgfsfh ^^

🥰: How would someone who loved you portray you?

They would probably make me quite a happy-go-lucky person, always smiling and seeing the good in others. Even when she isn't feeling great, she's portrayed as keeping others in mind first. They'd be able to see all the passions I have and try to make me be able to do at least one of those passions. They'd also portray it so that people love my fashion, and love that I dare to be bold sometimes. They'd see that I'm not always a wimp and can get quite assertive if I set my mind to it.

😡: How would someone who hated you portray you?

They would make me a whole lot more spineless than I actually am. They'd have me scream at every single thing that scares me and cower behind all the characters. They'd make me out to be an annoying character that can't read the room or other people's mannerisms and let me refuse to take accountability for my actions.

☕️: What are the most common plots of shipping fics between you and your f/o?

I imagine it'd be hurt/comfort. With them arguing over something or recounting the bad days and just being down because of that and then making up or comforting the other. Trust and forgiving are major themes in the fics.

It's common to find fics where my s/i awakens from a nightmare that was just reliving the events of the timeline shenanigans and despite not wanting to wake Belphie, he still wakes up to find her missing and goes to search for her. When he finds her silently crying, he asks what's wrong and after some pulling she finally admits to the nightmare. He does his best to comfort her and calm her down, reassuring her that those days are past.

🙈: Why would your ship be thought of as cute/fluffy? Why would your ship be considered problematic?

Cute and fluffy because they compliment each other very well, they are both into the same things (the stars mostly) and they can really feel what the other is thinking which they don't have with anyone else (except Beel). They are also quite affectionate towards one another, so I think that's an added bonus.

Problematic because they started out with one of them wanting the other dead (and succeeding for a bit). And that was quite a traumatic event for them. Considering they are both manifestations of each other's traumas, I think that'd be considered problematic.

[thejournaluser]

Prologue: The Letter

Please note, read the tags for TWs and tell me if it needs more.

Hello to whomever this may concern.

If you are the man who was sleeping on the bed where you found this letter, this message is for you. If you are not the man I just described, please stop reading and put it back. I assure you that whatever I will have to say in this letter does not concern you and the man you saw sleeping on the bed needs to read this. Very. This is a matter of life and death concerning the capital of this city. So I do advice you to put it down and place it somewhere the man on the bed can find it when he wakes up. Do hope that he can do whatever he needs to do in the best manner possible, yes?

That said, I hope you stop reading by now.

On the topic of importance, I do hope that the person reading this is the man who is indeed sleeping. If so, I offer you my greeting. Hello, James. You probably won't remember anything when you wake up so I advice you to calm down and put down this letter until you have come to.

Calm? Good.

Now, look around and see outside the window. Witness our mistake. See that tall building over there? That used to be our headquarters. Our base, the only place where we can actually feel safe. You used to be a hero of the people you know. But now they're gone. For what seemed like a short-term plan to stop the end of the world... became the plan to hasten it instead.

I must admit- I never saw the reason why we did it. Or why you did the things you thought was right to do. But I also found it morally correct when Kenny decided to bomb the shelter the other day. So I guess I'm just a really messed up human. Either way, James, I do not blame you for the things you did, and I will still try to be friends with you even though you hated me the most. But I guess with the amnesia, you would probably change your views toward me. I don't really hope that, to be honest.

But what I really hope for is that you would at the least pay me a favor. I saved your life, you know. I bargained and bartered. I am the reason why you lived and woke up. I am the reason why you get to live just another day. I sacrificed my little haven for you, James. I really did. All that hard work, months and sweat poured into one place where we can all feel like we can still be human... But it's not just you who I saved, no, I saved everyone else as well.

It's only up to them if they want to continue living that is, but I'm afraid I'm giving you have no choice. You need to do me a favor or else they'll be in jeopardy. Come to my lab, James. And kill me.

I know this seems too fast for you, James, I know. But I need to state what needs to be stated. You need to come to where I am, which is my laboratory, and kill me. Destroy my lab in any means you can think of.

By the time you face me, I will be already gone. I will no longer be human enough to communicate with anyone, not even you, James. I cannot tell you where I am because I know one of the people who broke into your room will at least skim this letter and find my address and set me loose. I cannot afford to let that happen. Find me yourself, James. And kill me.

I may have thought that it's much better to let you live. But I am no longer able to keep myself as so. I have seen the abyss that stared back at you, James. Even if you can't remember, I've seen the horrors you alone have created. But even with this kind of sentiment, I will not allow you to go off. You did this on yourself, James. But please, I give you this as your second chance to redeem yourself. Not me though. I've destroyed myself in the process and have seen how it changes my body. I fear what it does when it reaches my head and into my mind.

I beg of you. Find me, and end me.

Respectfully, and lovingly,

Quell.

[fumikomiyasaki]

❤️ for anyone- >:3

I adore you

"What I love about Onyx... oh my I could probably talk hours about this but let me give you the shortened version. I adore this mystery aura keeping me wanting to figure out more about her, those pretty piercing eyes who give me a shiver each time they strike me, the beauty of those thighs being hugged by stockings and nice dresses... that she is honest with her dismay towards me, that even covered in blood she looks more stunning than anything... her dedication to her writing and crafts.... that blush when a compliment of mine hits her... even the pain she gaves me is far more comforting than the pain I already been through... she truely is a precious gem among them all to me... one I want to keep close and claim as mine each day I can... even if it has to be with some marks she might want to hide. I am just teasing.~ Or maybe not."

"About Keisuke? I do love the time we spend together a lot. Playing games, making theories, cuddling while watching something, going to cafes for some tea and snacks... He is also just adorable when I get him flustered I can't help but to feel so happy about it and just want to hug him more. This messy hair of his is sweet to ruffle as well or to share a book in the library and place a kiss on his cheek. Even if it can be tiring with both our bothers but.. I take that risk... he kinda always understands what is on my mind and knows what to do when I need it... and I was impressed that even when I get annoyed by Barry or Yasuno he managed to stand up to them... If he reads his poems to me his voice calms me cause its so soothing to me... what I wanna say is I think there is just a lot why I hold him dear and cherish him.... but I often hope I don't bother him too much with things... I want to leave him his space but the urge to just be close and affectionate and slightly teasing to him is too high... I just can't help it. <3 "

"I would say... even if I call him my Angel I really think I can't say anything without being judged or look at wrong here so... how do I say this... He is beautifull.... attractive... but also quite a mess to deal with... I regret telling him a lot of my preferences.... as well as some of my... odder sites... first I had a blond who didn't accept what he is and now I am with a blonde who is the one exposing me... um we did talk what I love about him... Despite being an annoyance he does actually give me what I need and for the money I hand him he does make me feel good enough so I guess... I love him cause he is one of the few who is there despite my oddities."

"I am already a hot mess just thinking about the boss... this strict tone he has with me... with that firm grip of his hands... this nice body I see move during practise... this buttery voice getting angry with me.... he has talent, looks and strength, what else can I want more?... on Serious note I also admire him as a person as well... he knows how to handle the performances more than anyone But I still can't get help being distracted by his- *he was dragged away by April* "

"Dawn... she makes me feel more comfortable in this untrusting world... being close to her feels like a short nice dream I don't want to end. She is as pretty as the morning sun... Eyes to get lost in and holding her close feel feels like you embrace a cloud yourself. I want to keep anything that would hurt her away just to see that smile each day... I enjoy just having a quiet time where we lean against another or she makes her treats while I finish my work... she is also so precious sleeping in my arms... I do feel the stars brought me to her and I won't let her go no matter what."

"W-why do you bring him up? Geez... well he is handsome in a way... he is reliable... does at least have good manners and doesn't cause me a headache like some others.... b-but its not like I like him that much.... or do I?... I just don't know myself... sometimes when I talk to him I feel my heart pumping... I feel despite the flames he throws drawn to him... and its admirable to still have a family you care about cause.... I can't say the same... I guess you could say I like him because he makes me have hope more in people I meet and that some are comfortable to be around but... I hate to admit I dreamed about him at times... I will stop talking and don't you dare tell anyone about this."

*blushing* "I feel like I am under a spell each time I talk to her... like she enters my mind against my will and twists it to her ways... how come a lowley servant like me be this close to demon royalty I won't ask myself anymore cause it just happened but... I just feel her tapping my shoulder and my brain flipped a switch that makes me a fool for her I admit it. How come her kisses make me long for more.. it made me even think giving up on my current positions but... Kimon is important to me as well... I do love Cattleya to the point it drives me mad given how her voice and actions draw me in but this at this point makes me question myself with how bad it is..."

[talesfromthemidnightride]

It Starts with Us by Colleen Hoover

★★★★☆

Synopsis: It Starts with Us is a direct sequel, and while the two books can and should be read back to back, both books carry their own unique beat and story. While It Ends with Us details abuse in various relationships, It Starts with Us details overcoming abuse and finding yourself again. Lily Bloom must now navigate a tight act of peaceful co-parenting with Ryle and what it means to have Atlas Corrigan back in her life.

Quick Takeaway:

Some Relationships don't feel appropriate but are passed off as such.

POV changes fluidly between each other.

Relationships bounce back and forth in a realistic manner.

The grammar is clean and free of significant mistakes.

POV character tends to shape a scene based on how it emotionally impacted them, which can cause a slightly unreliable narration of events.

Each chapter ends with a minor cliffhanger, encouraging the reader further into the story.

I no longer understand Lily's struggle.

The final chapter is best left off as an epilogue or not included.

In-depth spoiler review below the cut!

Right away, I felt as if It Ends with Us never actually ended, and I was just picking up the book again. Sometimes the best sequels aren't what happens a few weeks or months or even years later, but what happens later in the day.

Each passing chapter reminds me why I enjoyed the first book so much. The relationships all feel real, and the characters speak to each other like other people would. Although, I am a bit put off by the thought of a 12-year-old "playing therapist" on an adult almost 30 years old. It doesn't feel appropriate to turn to someone so young for advice on their personal life, or for the parent to encourage such a relationship between their friend and child.

Another thing that I noticed was how some scenes can be presented. For better or worse, Colleen Hoover can acutely tune into the reader's emotions when writing a scene. This can cause some scenes to be a bit skewed. At the surface level, you see and feel the way the POV character feels in the moment, before going back and realizing it can also be slightly different.

Take for instance when Ryle learned why Lily chose Dory as the middle name for their daughter. He had every right to be upset over that, but he remained calm and never took it out on her. But, yet, Lily feels so strongly that he is gaslighting her and trying to manipulate her. It grows to a point where you could almost believe her because the narration, reasonably so, focuses heavily on her inner thoughts.

I had a hard time putting the book down as the chapters each end with a minor cliffhanger. Minor details you picked up in past chapters will suddenly make a lot of sense in a later chapter. Add in the alternating POV changing, and it has you continue reading as the story slowly unravels.

While this doesn't impact my rating for it, I do struggle to understand what drives Lily this time. A lot of it has to do with her being a mother and thinking of her child. I feel more intuned with Allysa's instincts of just doing it and dealing with the fallout later, rather than Lily's careful thinking of her daughter's future. I think this is in part of me no longer being in the same life stage as Lily -- i.e., she is a mother and I am not.

I wasn't too enthused with the ending as it absolves it of any wonder. Yes, it ties up all loose ends, but it cuts out any and all wonder a reader may have of the two. Sometimes, those are the best endings to a series. A little wonder is never a bad thing when coming to the end of a story. Not every milestone needs to be addressed or given to the reader.

If you want your own copy of It Starts With Us, please click here.

I tend to do tea and playlist pairings for books I read. I'm currently behind at the moment, but please feel free to check back later for a tea & playlist pairing for It Starts with Us!

[urutaguja]

How to Calm and Get Along with Your Seek: A guide for people that the Entities have known you for some reason/have liked you or even just adopted you cuz lmao human looks cool let's let it in our hotel fam

A Part Two of the First Guide "How To Calm Your Grumpy Seek"

Have you read our first guide before? If so, you probably know what to do during Grumpy Seek time, good on you! How about if I told you there are more ways to calm AND get along with your Seek??? That's right, that is indeed a possibility!

In this guide, I will write about more ways to calm and also advise you to get along with your Seek, harm's free!

A way to calm Seek using no tupperwares is to distract it doing something stimulating! You may have seen the paintings he has inhabited in such rooms before reaching, so this can only mean he likes to copy and morph into one. Present your Seek with something big, like a teddy bear, a chair (don't even think about it, I see u) and even an animal like a bird or a lizard. Let it study and take shape, it distracts his amgry mind into thinking "oh, shape this into that... Lemme just morph into this thing".

If your Seek hates talking, try to read to it with Figure! As much as you are to be careful, Figure actually enjoys Seek's company, have a reading session with them! And make sure to bring water and spare clothes, cuz Seek is an oozy, messy fellow to get snuggled of.

If you carry food, only do so if you like to spoil your Seek with rare treats. And yes, he can taste flavors. See which one is the best for him as he tells you.

Don't hug your Seek unless you desire a long session of being carried with hands, limbs and not let go for... Idk, hours.

If Seek is dripping in a slow manner... RUN.

Seek likes movement, introduce your Seek with exercise, especially running and jogging!

If you leave the tupperware open, gently jiggle the container with Seek in it, he enjoys the waved swaying movements and it actually lulls it into a beauty sleep.

If your Seek follows you, let it. As long as it doesn't feel like dreadful.

Do you sleep all of the time? Seek will greatly become your blanket to steal your warmth. A good sleep buddy.

If he's hungry, you'll know. He kind of smells like tar and rotten wood, feed him if there is nothing he can hunt.

Lonesome Seek? Let him be. It's his way of isolating himself in a destressful manner.

Always take your Seek to the library if you go. Trust me on this one. Just take him there with you or you will wish you had. He won't kill you but, depresso Seek is not even a sad sight, it's actually hurtful (you monster!)

If you ever boop a snoot, boop his chest! He may also take your hands to BOOP YOURS! HA! Uno reverse!

That's all I got for now, now go forth and stay alive!

Hope y'all like it! This one is a lil... Meh, since I didn't think much as I could lately, feelin tired and it's about to be 3 am.

Pls suggest and reblog if you think of an idea! I'll def see it that way!

[tailsrevane]

hi! i’m robin, a 30something white enby elf (sometimes fox, sometimes both). my pronouns are fae/faer.

some cool things about me, probably!

i have four really amazing partners! i live with two of them and our adorable kitties.

i'm ace, but hella kinky & hella subby. please bully me. (consensually.)

i’m an extremely novice polytheistic witch.

i’m a furry kinda? i'm not really plugged into the fandom much anymore, but if you were to ask me if i am or am not a furry, the answer would be yes.

i work at a local comic/game shop, mostly as a magic judge :)

if it ever seems like i’m autistic or i have adhd, that would be because i’m autistic and i have adhd.

dnis/content warning/etc after the cut.

just for funsies, here’s a brief list of fandoms i gravitate strongly towards! some of these things might not be actually fandoms or might not have very active fandoms idk? i might write about these more often or have stronger opinions about them. or not? adhd! these can alternatively be read as additional reasons to bully me. please feel free to read them that way.

magic the gathering

star trek

dungeons & dragons (and, relatedly, the legend of drizzt books; and, relatedly, dimension 20, and, relatedly, basically everything on dropout)

avatar: the last airbender (i've only seen the shows though, need to check out the comics & rpg & etc)

pokémon

sonic the hedgehog

kaiju movies

anime and manga kinda?

cartoons kinda if that counts? (current favorites: the owl house, she-ra reboot, futurama, star trek: lower decks wait that should go in star trek not cartoons or should it go in both oh no)

comic books/superheroes kinda? (the archie sonic the hedgehog and dark horse star wars comics were a huge part of my childhood, i also got hella into batman, spider-man, and x-men at times.)

undertale

knives out? is that a fandom? whatever. i love those movies.

the matrix

the wachowski sisters’ oeuvre in general (speed racer is one of my favorite movies of all time.)

lord of the rings (the movies, not the books)

halloween. the holiday, not the movie. the color orange. pumpkins. etc. yeah, i’m weirded out that it took me until comparatively recently to realize i needed to be a witch, but here we are. (oh yeah i’ll also probably write about witchy stuff at times? maybe.)

but like, i like other stuff that’s not media too! like… organizing media on shelves? (why have i not been shoved in a locker yet what the heck.) okay, that’s another thing about me. i’m kind of an amateur librarian? i might also talk about theme parks i go to when that happens (a few of my partners are super into those so yeah!). and museums!

on a less fun note, please do not interact with me if you're transphobic/homophobic/racist/etc etc. just don't. i'm just gonna block you, it's really not worth either of our time. also please do not interact with me if you're a minor, and please do not flirt with me if you're technically not a minor but are significantly younger than me. i'm just not comfortable with it.

if you're an anti-shipper you'd probably consider me a pro-shipper? i don't super care about those kinds of labels but i know that's like... A Thing here, and want to be very clear. so if you don't want to interact with people who don't think fanfiction should be policed & criticized as though it were real life or general audience mass media, you probably don't want to interact with me. if i do write any fanfic i will tag it appropriately, but i really think everyone needs to calm down about this shit.

and last but not least, i will tag liberally, but a blanket content warning:

i frequently explicitly discuss themes of kink, sexuality, violence, mental health, and other mature themes in a manner intended for an adult audience.

also, i am a survivor of both childhood and intimate partner emotional abuse, as well as sexual assault, and these come up frequently in my writing. reader discretion is advised.

on a less serious note, i am unapologetically kinky, subby, and thirsty af and i’m going to include a lot of personal asides from that perspective. i’m also a furry and a monsterfucker. don’t say i didn’t warn you.

see you around, hopefully!

[hakureiryuu]

okay, I'm calm now, ready to rewatch with the intention of understanding, and not through the lens of 3 years of excessive fanfiction.

(and also, apparently, not through the lens of the book? idk man.)

episode 1, lez go!

crowley using that crank thingie to make stars is delightful, gives that bit at the end of s1 so much more impact and puts crowley's tool of choice on par with aziraphale's flaming sword.

thinkin bout the way the intros play out the entire series basically so I was waiting for aziraphale's sprite to fly away or something on 2nd watch. instead they're climbing up this huge purgatory-esque mountain with all of humanity behind them. lends some credence to the idea that the 3 seasons parallel the 3 acts of the divine comedy. (edit: actually the end of the s1 intro has them all jumping into the pits of the inferno so yeah that completely checks out.)

I didn't notice maggie spelled urgency wrong lmao

"I'm very good at forgiveness" bitch the fuck you are! ofc I would not be the least but surprised if heaven culture completely skewed his definition of the word.

crowley's tattoo is lower down on his face and it bothers me.

"why can't they just deliver the mail to your car" first hint that he's living in his damn car, which I didn't figure out until like ep3 XD

john hamm is delightful and I so deeply regret all the fics where gabriel is explicitly rapey. now he's a himbo of legendary proportions and I love him.

fly buzzing lol

"now that I'm not reporting to heaven" gdi he feels a lack without a system to report to even if that system was shit. he misses the scraps of approval heaven used to give him and doesn't know how to fill that void.

aziraphale practicing acknowledging his relationship with crowley 🥰

also I was so pleased when they tossed in that aziraphale knows about shax, they are (were 😭) doing so well.

I'm dying, their argument over gabriel is an exact parallel to their argument over going back to heaven. aziraphale wants to fix the problem. crowley wants to run from the problem. help me.

all the archangels dress in the cool spectrum of whites but muriel is warm and it stands out rather starkly.

s1 beelzebub had such an interesting accent and manner of speaking that this new one lacks. too feminine, maybe? not that enbys owe anyone androgyny I guess. idk I'm bad at change, ignore me.

trying to read into bee's behavior knowing what's really going on is so bizarre XD

that whole book of life thing never actually comes to fruition this season and I am scared.

I had zero investment in the secondary ship but listing off all the parallels makes it so interesting that they flip it all on its head by the end about who is paralleling who.

1793 was the french revolution, 1941 was the blitz. what the hell happened in 1650??

d'you think david tennent made up the I was wrong dance in the spot? 😂

"no alarm bells ringing in heaven" -cut to alarm bells ringing in heaven- welp

also I like the gestures both of them used in keeping with the rules. snapping is great and all but I like variety sometimes 😌

part 2

[meissashush]

🍁🌾💐🌺☄💦

for Ro

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

Ro is a habitual hider. In a new place, she'll always sniff out the quietest place to hide unseen, regardless of whether she actually ends up needing it. That said, she isn't really one to claim an area. If her so called 'territory' is ever usurped by a different antisocial weirdo introvert, she won't contest it. The location just gets written off as 'less than ideal' and a new one is hunted down.

The closest she has to a comfort corner is her room, and later her solo apartment. It's not intentional, but rather incidental in nature. She's naturally inclined to keep everything she considers 'hers' confined to her personal space, and she tends to only keep things she genuinely needs or likes.

🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them

EDIT FROM FUTURE MEI!!!! IM STUPID AS SHIT AND ALSO DYSLEXIC AND READ THIS AS "Describe your OCs eyes through the lens of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them" BECAUSE IM A FUCKING MORON. Anyway, this stays as a monument to my stupity.

"Crystalline. They contain such a profound clarity that they can rend you quite transparent, despite one's best efforts." - Ignis

"Icy. Like the crisp blue of a clear. midwinter sky. But, like, in a refreshing sort of way." - Gladio

"Oh man, I've been trying to figure this one out for years. It's like if baby blue, cerulean, and royal blue started making out, you know?" - Prompto

"Uh... they're blue, right?" - Noctis

💐 How does your OC handle being unwell or forced to rest in bed? Who cares for them and in what ways? Does your OC enjoy being doted on or are they a terrible patient? Reversed: is your OC good at taking care of others who are ill or in need?

Well, she's a Leonis, so not well. She'll hide her illness/injury for as long as possible, and who ever can catch her is going to be the one wrangling her into bed for the duration. Ignis and Nyx have the best luck with it simply by virtue of being more stubborn than her, followed by Prompto and Noctis who are great at distracting her with video games and co-naps, with Gladio and Cor coming in solid last. Turns out trying to just force her into bed and expecting her to stay there isn't the best strat. Naturally, this means she a pretty awful patient.

As for her as a caretaker, she's pretty decent. Quick to find what you need, intuit what you want, and most likely to remember bizarre things like how Prompto can't stand the smell of eggs when he's ill. Bedside manner is not the best, but she's not Cor or Gladio.

🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

When she was younger, and sometimes when there is no real time to recover, she has a tendency to just work through it until she can't anymore. As she got older and learned to rely on people more, she became much more prone to seeking comfort from others. The best person for the situation varies heavily, but Cor is definitely a one-size-fits-all person for an upset Rosea. If she's alone, she's gotten better of just talking herself through it in a quiet space. It takes longer, but it does work.

☄️ Does this OC deserve better treatment from you? Do you make them suffer just a little bit too much? Be nice to them!

This isn't even a question, this is just you yelling at me :[

I am very nice to her, thank you very much. Those are load bearing traumas. All of them. Even the non-canon ones I make just for fun.

💦 If you as the writer could erase one traumatic event from this OC’s life what would it be and why?

I would erase the event that led her to emotionally cutting herself off from everyone she loved :] The first one, anyway. Pretty sure that's the main jenga block in all of her -gestures vaguely- that.

[reficu1]

Hello! I would like to request a Genshin Match-Up if it would be no trouble! (My apologies in advance for the long read, feel free to ignore this if it proves too troubling)

Name - Alex

Sexuality - Currently Unlabeled (though I believe I have a preference for men? Ultimately gender doesn't matter to me, though I might also be Aspec?)

Gender - Unlabeled, He/They

Likes - Good music (regardless of genre), the sky, respectful/in-depth conversation, character/cinematic analysis, bouncing off of someone else's energy nicely, sources of light and color (say if its visually appealing in regards to lighting and color then my attention can be caught pretty easily), essentially shiny things I guess? (say in forms of accessories, utensils, weaponry, ect)

Dislikes - My loved ones being mistreated, being talked over and never being allowed to get a word in socially, uncomfortable textures/stimuli, lack of communication, moths (yes this is specific, I know.)

Hobbies - Dancing (not publicly), listening to music, writing, cooking, taking quizzes as a way of learning about myself as well as a way of indulging in interests of mine

Personality - I am an INFP-T (though pretty close to being INTP-T), I'm often regarded as wise and/or an intellectual but there are times where that dips and I can come across as a little dumb or slow, it can be situational and it may depend on who you ask. I have been told by several people that they feel comfortable in my presence and that they trust me more than anyone else (in regards to vulnerability for who they truly are instead of the face they put up for others or in that they trust that I'll be honest and that I won't leave them, in the case that they fear abandonment); though I have learned as of this year that I actually come across as intimidating at first (to some at least) and there have been people who have assumed more negative things of me only for said assumptions to later be clarified as incorrect. I am often regarded as calm and quiet more than I actually would think I would be, but overall I am seen as both loud and quiet in a way, its moreso situational I guess. Personally I assume I talk more than I should, especially about myself or things I like to a bothersome extent or I just am straight up too blunt or impulsive with my speech, though I can also see why I would be regarded as quiet as I can have long periods of such to where I'm practically a ghost socially. I do my best to accommodate for others, providing them a comfortable atmosphere and I can be very attentive to others when it comes to there being a dip in their mood, thus I do my best to help them if they so wish (though if they need a respectful distance and some alone time then I'll respect it). I do however have a record of saying concerning things in a casual manner due to my morbid thinking or desensitization to certain things. On a lighter note compared to that though, I have been regarded as witty and very sassy. I am also prone for being petty and spiteful but mainly really out of humor or messing around with people who know me well enough. Speaking of people knowing me well enough, while I may be regarded as observant by some, I actually can be pretty dense socially sometimes as my level of observation had to be actively developed whereas naturally I am prone for missing social cues, so it can be situational, but I will say that someone needs to actively tell me how they percieve me (say as a friend or other) because otherwise I will just assume I am regarded as an acquaintance even if there's consistent/active interaction. It has surprised many people when I've asked for clarification on if we're friends or not because they had assumed us being friends was already established I guess. Once we are established as friends though, I can be rather protective and clingy (though I can also have long periods of social absence/quiet). I have also learned that I am more sentimental than I had first assumed as it is hard for me to let things go and if you give me just about anything as a gift of sorts, I will likely keep it regardless of what it is even though I am not the best at actually giving or accepting gifts as expectations on both ends can overwhelm me and stress me out and I feel bad if I cannot meet those expectations (whether it be giving the right gift or giving an enthusiastic and grateful response, I'm actually quite awkward about it but I have been working on it over time). Also when it comes to interests, if you express you're interested in something I will probably fixate on supporting you on said interest (so long as its not harmful to anybody), I'll learn as much as I can about it so you're free to talk about it to/with me at any time and I'll give you a lot of content related to it (though I do feel like I push it and I delve a little too hard into it), I'll basically do anything I can to understand what it is you like (as my way of connecting socially I guess because I feel I often struggle otherwise).

Insecurities - My trust issues, that I'm either too little or too much to the point of driving other people away, my indecisiveness, my personal interests, how I am a picky eater and very particular about sensory related issues (mainly in regards to food/drinks and clothing) as it makes me feel demanding/high maintenance when I don't intend to be (and no I do not regard others in the same way, I just am a hypocrite in favor of being harder on myself than necessary though I know I probably shouldn't, I have been working on doing cutting myself more slack), my social skills, being unable to meet expectations as some people (in my opinion) expect/think too highly of me, my appearance (I have been working on this though in regards to being more positive about myself), how stiff I can be about leaving my comfort zone (also have been working on this), how there are times I can be argumentative and I may push/carry a subject for longer than its worth (I actually really dislike conflict, I think I just push it because I fear miscommunication as well as me personally not being heard or regarded seriously. In the end I do try to just find a level ground of understanding rather than ultimately trying to be right over someone else though it may not always come across as that way), how while I have been regarded as opinionated, I actually struggle a lot with expressing my opinion as I either fear judgement or negatively effecting others, how I can either be too emotional or too apathetic sometimes (it can lead to inappropriate emotional responses to things sometimes) and finally, my perfectionism.

And that should be it, again I apologize for the assumable long read as well as any redundancies! Try not to stress yourself out on my account and with that I hope you have a lovely day/night!

Hi, Alex, thanks for the details. They helped in the selection of the character. But I want to note about the type of personality. I'm more inclined to the fact that you are an INTP. Maybe even today I will post an analysis of each type of personality without a stereotype (at least I will try)

I match up for you...

Arataki Itto. This is a relationship of complete complementarity. Because of your sensory experience, which is your insecurity. You try to develop your "least advanced functions" by spending a lot of effort on it, after which a person with your sensory skills usually tries to demonstrate the results. This can usually lead other people to think you're pretty smart or good in some area, which can lead to misunderstandings and high expectations. But Itto can fence itself off from any unwanted influences. Of course, such an artistic person will also demonstrate his abilities, but if he wants, he will fulfill the "condition" or "task". But since we are looking at your relationship, it is clearly seen that Itto person who would support you in your "self-development" and other hobbies even join! But if people want to put you in charge or some other "role" that you "should" follow or conform to, then Arataki won't allow you to be treated like that. Perhaps he would dramatically yell at these people or take on this responsibility, depending on the situation. If we consider the main function of Arataki, then we can say that he is independent and independent of other people's opinions, willingly accepting any new help / stories / comfort and also does not make concessions because of "want" or "seems", so when other people misunderstand him , then it does not cause anger, only this theatrical anger. And I can tell how he does not take your blunt remark to heart, perhaps even trying to correct it later. And since you are trying to give comfort to your loved ones, Itto will return to you everything that you gave him emotionally doubly.