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fantranslatorbychoice · 4 years

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Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6 Chapter 4 - Secret Girls' Night-out

T/N: Hi y’all, it’s me again, it took a bit longer because I did my best to beta-as much as I could, but if it’s still wonky, I apologize, it's not like I get paid to do it lol also it's rather challenging when I had to convert my brain waves from Japanese to English to my native language and however those combinations work just to spew all of these out in sufficiently passable English. So I hope you all don't mind stuff like typos or inconsistencies with the tenses srsly even the original text has that and I just literally gave up evening out the tenses, like really apparently it's no biggie to have an entire paragraph in Japanese that both has past and present tenses (they mostly don't have future tenses) but if that happened in English some would just nitpick that shit out. I mean, yeah, for sure when I do editing and get paid for it I would, but if I'm just reading fanfics from writers who don't have English as their native language I just don't give a hoot, as long as the story's good, to heck with grammar, spelling and syntax. Srsly some non-native EN speakers get turned-off or even scared when nitpickers hit on their imperfect spellings or grammar or dictions, srsly honestly just give them a break, they worked hard to learn another language. I felt this even more so when I started learning Nihongo, like srsly as long as a person gets to say what they want to say even if it's not perfect in anyway, then that's more than enough for me. srsly I am forgiving like that. Also this chapter has more notes than usual, especially regarding Nihongo and stuff, so if you don't like it you can always move along lololol Also I gave up, I'm keeping the titles and roles in Japanese i.e. Odanna-sama, Wakadanna-sama, Bantou-san, etc. I'll just stick in more notes instead lol

Also if you like this translation, you can heart it, share the link, reblog, I just respectfully ask that DO NOT REPOST ELSEWHERE. This is my contribution to the scant English content of this fandom, and I worked really hard to finish this thing, it’s not like I just copy-pasted everything. I even had to build the kanji in Jisho one by one. Try it and you’ll see what I mean.You can rave about this, rant about this, but if possible please link back to this page. If you’re unsure how to do that, just copy the web address of this page. If you’re on a blogsite just insert the web address as a hyperlink as a link back to here. Honestly if this light novel was officially-published in English, I wouldn’t even be doing this right now... And if it did, I’d take this offline to support the publishers and Yuuma-sensei. Creators support creators, is what I believe in. As previously-mentioned in earlier chapters, if you stumbled upon this one, the two seasons of the anime covered volumes 1-5, so other than the extra details, you didn’t miss much stuff. OK, with all of that out of the way, here's Chapter 4 now. P116 "Th... These are... The Southern Lands' cultured Japanese amberjack**... A bundle of Kiseki beef.. And there are so many other local products from the Southern Lands too. Ah, there's even the coconut oil that I always wanted!" So many extravagant ingredients have been hauled into Yugao, and I was flabbergasted by them all. There were also so many cans of various contents as well as dried fish and other products stuffed inside. Canned tuna and other canned stuff were considered as high-end products in Kakuriyo, and I am very grateful. Ginji-san and the Daruma gang from the kitchens delivered a box packed with so many ingredients to Yugao, and we had no idea why. "Well, the Dog said that these are their repayment to our kindness. It's because a while ago, Ranmaru came to Tenjin-ya." "Really, Ranmaru from Orio-ya?" "Hatori-san also came too, with him." In some way, Ginji-san's mood was good. For a while now, his nine fluffy tails were wagging from left to right. "It's from our head accountant Byakuya-san, Aoi-san's rewards for your achievement, and for Tenjin-ya's cooperative business venture and all sorts of other demands that were deemed justifiable, and because they wanted to give other things as a way of expressing their gratitude, they brought in many other souvenirs and products as well. They also exchanged with us various other information." T/N: This is related to tuna fish, but don't ask me how they cultured it. Probably in the open sea, like in sea cages. Yes, that's a thing, and yeah I was also in the fishing industry at some point in time, if you're wondering. Also if you're wondering why I rarely use "you" in the dialogues of the translations, it's because in polite Japanese conversations, instead of saying ANATA or OMAE= you, one's name is mentioned instead. In the original text, when people are talking to each other, rather than say "you" they say the other person's name or occupation + san instead i.e. bengoshi-san= lawyer san, Ginji-san, or if it's a username because they don't like using their true names- USERNAME-san. Because using "you" in any way, shape or form in conversations is deemed rude AF. So the next time you chat with Japanese people, please remember to address them by their name, or occupation, unless you've established rapport with them. I forgot to put this explanation in my earlier posts, but it's one of the most important stuff I learned in my Japanese classes, the Japanese folk won't care so much on grammar but more on being polite and taking care of remembering social status stratification aka just be polite by using polite terms. I actually experienced this first hand after chatting with some of them, they just told me not to use Google translate and just chat with them with whatever I know. They're very grateful when people could talk to them in their native tongue, especially when the honorifics are used. This note's long AF but I did say that I'm gonna drag you all with me in this whole learning Nihongo thing, and I'm doing just that. P117 "That friendly Ranmaru did that? Doesn't he hate Tenjin-ya?" "Hee hee. Well, don't take this too seriously, OK?" Even though saying it that way, I imagined that Ranmaru's horrible words and demeanour were probably due to his circumstances. Orio-ya sees Tenjin-ya as its rival, it's hard to imagine them having an image of humbly bringing over souvenirs. And the business dealings, I wonder what those are...? "Oh that, Ranmaru saw that you had a strong sense of duty. He wanted to particularly express his gratitude to Aoi-san." And thereupon, these ingredients from the Southern Lands. Stuff I rarely get hold of, especially something like that one round amberjack, and I unconsciously grinned. "Even so, if the circumstances allowed, he would have stopped by and said it himself** ..." "It was before Aoi-san's business hours, and Ranmaru is also busy it seems, so he had to go back immediately. Even I wanted to take our time since I thought it was fine, but it can't be helped... Because Ranmaru is the Southern Lands' Hachiyo." "Ha ha. Then what happens next is that if it's possible, Ginji-san will go to Orio-ya, won't he? Nothing's stopping you two from visiting each other now?" "Aoi-san...." Up until recently, Ginji-san and Ranmaru's long sibling feud previously ended sometime ago, and the long-standing so-called inn rivalry and clash between Orio-ya and Tenjin-ya has been cut. T/N: aisatsu=挨拶=greeting, introducing one's self, improving relations by dropping by every now and then, can also mean like popping up to say hi or whatnot. I don't know how to directly translate it since aisatsu has more of a sense of how a supervisor pops up in the work place or a teacher suddenly appears in a class just to check, it's not as informal as a neighbor dropping by the house just to have idle chitchat. Hweh. P118 But after the ceremony, the changed relationship between the two has been noticeable. "Oh, that, I see. Someday soon, I will take a break and go visit him too." "Yeah, I agree, that's great. Oh, I wonder if everyone's doing well... Hatori-san and Tokihiko-san, Hideyoshi and Nene, the cute twin chefs.. And Nobunaga." "It seems that everyone's doing fine. The twins Kai-san and Mei-san, Orio-ya profoundly realized that they're really suited to be chefs, and everyone seems to cheer them on, Hatori-san was still the same as ever, but sometimes he returns to Shumonzan. He says that he bickers with Matsuba-sama as always, but one way or another they've become in good terms with each other." Ginji-san asked Ranmaru, and he told things about Orio-ya's management staff. I see, everyone in each of their own way have been doing their best to move on forward. "Oh, and somehow Hideyoshi-san and Nene-san seems to have been engaged." "Whaaat? Why that fast?" Wait a minute. Hideyoshi knew that Nene-chan has decided, that she likes Ranmaru, wasn't it? But that's what Hideyoshi said... My astonished face must have looked funny, and Ginji-san turned away his face and giggled. "It's surely shocking, isn't it? Why, it's amazing, Hideyoshi was especially honest and manly. P119 I simply cannot..." Ginji-san let out a tiny laugh again. What is it about his old haunting grounds, being delighted at the many changes in Orio-ya? At any rate, I was surprised with Hideyoshi and Nene's engagement. Firstly, congratulations Hideyoshi. You thought that your unrequited love has been going on for so long, it was outside your thoughts early on, but now your love bore its fruit. I'm glad, as I'm rooting for you on from the sides. What the heck, behind my back, how did they get involved in that, that was surprisingly an unusual story, if I meet Nene this time I need to get information from her. "But the when the trustworthy Waka-danna** and Waka-Okami** get married, Orio-ya will surely become peaceful, and Ranmaru will also be pleased. Certainly after the marriage, their organization will grow even stronger. He'll get exhausted if it's just Ranmaru holding everything together." "Isn't Tenjin-ya also reasonably solid?" "I guess, although the position for Waka-Okami easily changes. Originally the person in that position is supposed to only resign once, but right now Kikuno-san has temporarily retired as the Young Mistress and supposed to come back. However, there have been circumstances in her family, and she immediately relinquished her seat as the Waka-Okami." "Ehh, like that?" After showing my disbelief, Ginji-san sadly nodded.

T/N: Waka-danna=young master, Waka-Okami=young mistress P120 "If it comes to that, when a new Waka-Okami doesn't hold the position for very long, we can say that there's a gifted person in Tenjin-ya, and it's only a little issue.** Likewise, during that matter with Orio-ya, we in the management staff really wanted the former Waka-Okami O-ryo san to come back and give it another go. Her abilities are very outstanding." "Even I too... I was shocked to see O-ryo completely doing her job well. Even Nene, one way or another admires her so much." "Yes, I agree. But, oh well... O-ryo-san returning to her former position, it's already a huge chance and a necessity. Right now she's drifting away from supporting her fellow waiters and waitresses, well, O-ryo-san must be intending to. To me, she seems to be enjoying having lesser responsibilities and more carefree in her current position." "Well, that's for sure..." Based on how Ginji-san talked about it, lately it seems that O-ryo has no obsession on the position of Waka-Okami. A little bit until recently, she seems, to have returned the bearing of her Waka-Okami decorum, but lately she's wholly just wanting to eat and eat, when she finally gets some free time she goes to Yugao, and lately has been persisting on going out hunting for marriage partners. However, I could say with confidence that she seems to be taking advantage of being relieved of her position as a Waka-Okami , and surely Tenjin-ya will realize that they need O-ryo's abilities. O-ryo's strength, is diligently doing her duties in that position. "Anyway, Aoi-san. I was preparing and building up the Autumn Festival here in Tenjin-ya at the end of this month, and I was thinking of using pumpkins, is it possible for Yugao to make Autumn foods and sweets for us?" T/N: Honestly double-triple negatives are a pain in the ass, srsly it's like inception to the nth power, I had trouble deciphering this line and almost this entire page in the original text so if it doesn't make sense, meh, I did my best within my current abilities. P121 "Pumpkin? Of course. It's gonna be fun, like Halloween." "Oh, right! There's a foreign festival called Halloween in Utsushiyo, but I thought it's impossible to recreate that here in in Kakuriyo, though I could imagine it to be made into a Pumpkin Festival." "Oh, not at all, we can make that same Halloween theme here because Tenjin-ya is mostly full of Ayakashi." A Japanese Halloween that doesn't use costumes... "But certainly, this year's pumpkins are delicious, so Pumpkin Festival sounds good, doesn't it? It's also a great idea to give out candies to our young guests." "We can probably decorate with paper lanterns and pumpkins too. We can place ogre-fire inside, and make them float all around Tenjin-ya." "Wow! That's very much like Utsushiyo's Halloween!" Why, the Autumn Festival goes well with the Pumpkin Event and our imaginations ran wild. "Also, Aoi-san. Pumpkins are not Odanna-sama's favorite." "..." Abruptly, the topic on Odanna-sama popped up, and I stiffened a bit. Some days ago, we came back from the orchard park date. I remembered being hugged in the airship's deck...** "How are you feeling, Aoi-san? Why is your face all red?" T/N: **insert lenny face here** You can't stop me wahahaha P122 "Hm? Oh, it's nothing, this is nothing. Odanna-sama not liking pumpkins, I wonder if I somehow asked that before..." "Oh, right. I saw that Odanna-sama often puts a lot of his boiled pumpkins in Byakuya-san's small bowl." "...really, isn't Odanna-sama unbelievable?" "Yes, he is. I don't know when Byakuya-san patience will end, but I want Odanna-sama to overcome his distaste for pumpkins." "You're right. His pickiness for food would not end... In this event I will feed Odanna-sama with the pumpkin cuisines I wanted him to try..." I haven't yet known what Odanna-sama likes, but I know what food he doesn't like. It wasn't at all regretable to make fun of Odanna-sama, but this time I got surprised. "Aoi-sama-- Manjuu-steaming has been finished!" Ai-chan's face suddenly popped out of the kitchen. She seemed to have established her affairs in Hyakumeyama, and she has changed her appearance to that which she made herself. Her time before returning to the pendant is still short, but she's working hard right now as a newly-hired employee. "You were steaming manjuu**? I thought I was smelling something good." "Yeah. Just a while ago Dr. Saraku was asked by Tenjin-ya to do some manufacturing trials for a new souvenir product.** T/N: Steamed bread with bean jam filling. They’re really good, try them when you can!

when I write souvenir product, it's translated from omiyage=お土産= something that you take home for your friends or family when you go have fun somewhere like a national park or a museum or amusement park. Like when you buy takeaways - T-shirts, food, keychains, etc. and bring them home or something. Is there an English equivalent for this? Because I don't know. In my native language we have an equivalent, well, for most Asian languages I guess. Don't know about others though.. Hm.... korewa....*inhales* O_O

P123 "We're still only in the middle of improving it, but once we're done we want Ginji-san to be the very first to try them out." "Wah, that sounds fun. When Byakuya-san saw the special products from Orio-ya, he also also saw the need for Tenjin-ya to make new specialties and other famous products, and he's going to be considerably sensitive about it." "Uhm.... But we have no confidence to meet that expectation..." If we couldn't get to sell all of the products that we made, what will we do if Tenjin-ya gets struck greatly by that? What will we do if Tenjin-ya's status and popularity crashes down? With regards to that, we had to think very hard. For Yugao as a small establishment it is a challenge, and the pressure feels a bit different. "It's alright. With regards to hit products, through time and through fads, luck always has a greater control. To me, the only thing needed by Dr. Saraku are failures no matter how many times, in his division. That is why it is important to fail when tackling new challenges." ".. Ginji-san..." "Because I think, we become stronger, don't we?" Ginji-san's relieving smile is so bright, even today it's promising. Having his support, for today as well, I will work harder for Yugao's business operations. P124 The next day, around noon. Tomorrow Tenjin-ya will be closed for a break. Since today Tenjin-ya's business operations will end and all shall check out at the same time, everyone's waiting to be free of work. Today, Yugao also has no business transactions, so tonight I was making up my mind to call all of the ladies to make hotpot. I was thinking of calling out all about to all the members who could attend, I only need to walk to the inner garden. "Oh, it's Kasuga." I noticed Kasuga first. On the other side of the log bridge, she was under the ginko tree. I was about to call out "Hey Kasuga--" but she seems to be talking to someone and I stopped. Behind the base of the ginko tree whose yellow leaves were slightly changing color, what the... Kasuga is usually cheerful but her face now weirdly has this blank expression. "Isn't that..." Beside her, it was Chiaki-san, the doorman in charge of the footwear. A Bake-Tanuki like Kasuga. Normally he doesn't get involved with her much deeply, but this time their dialogues seem to be at a crossroads. I thought that the young man was humble and modest, somehow trying his best to look cool, but somehow he is speaking to Kasuga with a harsh expression, the atmosphere doesn't seem good in there, the impression is very different from the usual funny and light. What is up with those two. These two were different from how I knew them. "Oh, Aoi-chan." P125 From far away, Kasuga noticed me, her Tanuki ears popped up, and rushed towards me. "Aoi-chan, are you going to the main building?" "Ehhhrm, yeah. That was weird, seeing the two of you." "You think so? Chiaki is my relative you know. We were just talking." "Oh, I see..." I don't understand but, I wonder what's normal for those two. "Speaking of, Kasuga, tonight, uhm, won't you come to Yugao after work?" "To Yugao? To make me eat food?" "Yeah. I was thinking of actually holding a ladies-only hotpot banquet. I'll set up the kotatsu, and there's also mountain apple liquor. Let's have a girls' night-out once in a while." "Girls night-out..." Kasuga said "That sounds so much fun" with a wicked Tanuki face. I wonder if she's recalling amusing stories she got out of everyone. "I was thinking of calling O-ryo and Shizuna-chan too. I'm going out to meet them now." "If you say so, I'll go tell them. I'm roommates with Shizuna-chan, and I'm assigned to the banquet hall with O-ryo sama." P126 "Oh, is it OK to ask? Sorry about that." "It's fine, it's like the usual running of errands." Smiling like a beast, Kasuga nimbly dashed away. Under the deep autumn air that feels cold, her fluffy Tanuki tail swings left to right. "..." Looking back at the ginko tree, Chiaki-san the chief doorman wasn't there anymore. I wonder what the two talked about. He seemed to have casually listened to the girls night-out plan. The strong mountain apple liquor, lend me your strength... "Aoi-dono" "Wah, Sasuke-kun!" Without warning, Sasuke-kun the O-niwaban fell down beside me. He has a long scarf hanging down his neck, ninja-style from sunrise to sunset. Normally, during the day he usually wears a monk's robe as he sweeps the garden. "What's up? Something happened during work?" "I am patrolling around. Lately, there has been some disturbances." "Well, tomorrow the inn will have its break, it must be difficult. Are you hungry?" "Ah, my stomach is..." P127 Grrrrrmmmmm. Sasuke-kun's hungry stomach made some noise. "My stomach is probably hungry..." "Hee hee. When your duties are done, while on break come to Yugao. We received a lot from Orio-ya, blessings from the sea. The Southern Lands were also grateful to Sasuke-kun, would you want anything?" "Is that true?" Sasuke-kun always had a cool expression, but when it comes to food his eyes sparkle with joy, like a child's. Realizing that he's let out his enthusiasm, he cleared his throat and hid his mouth with the scarf while saying "Well then, until later," and he disappeared into the wind. Sasuke-kun is just as always very earnest, it's adorable. "Nevertheless, some disturbance..." I heard about that by accident, recently. The disturbance, it's shady, things don't look good, among other things. I was working and doing my best in Yugao, and whatever lurks up in my surroundings I don't notice anything at all. But, at the moment I don't know about the things that have started happening, and I got more anxious and worried. P128 Today is a secret girls; night-out, no guys allowed. It's going to happen after Yugao's working hours, a hotpot party will be opened for the ladies of Tenjin-ya. Today it's not at Yugao, the venue will be at my room at the back, and I will bring out the kotatsu. Tonight's dinner will be amberjack shabu-shabu. We'll make a light konbu/kelp dashi amberjack shabu-shabu from the many seafoods from Orio-ya. "We'll use the top shelf kelp to make the konbu dashi for the seafoods of the Southern Lands. It's a hotpot filled with crunchy mustard greens and thinly-sliced daikon, Welsh onions and enoki mushrooms, I'm going to fill it with amberjack as much as I want." "OK--- Let's eat!" Despite it being after work, the ladies' eyes will get fired up. I wonder if that's the case when they get hungry after working hours. I immediately placed in the fatty slices of amberjack in the hotpot's boiled konbu dashi, and let it cook. I will add in here some ponzu for that single tingly flavor.** "Ahhh, what is this luxury. It's been a while since I had amberjack shabu-shabu..." "O-ryo sama, eat the vegetables too. Adding the thinly-sliced daikon makes this a shabu-shabu." "Alright, I get it..." O-ryo just ate only the amberjack, and Kasuga sneakily added in the vegetables. She also placed some of the boiled enoki, and placed a lot of the dashi along with the fish slices, placing all of these together she took a bite. T/N: Sour-tasting soups are best with fatty meats and fish, so I'd get that Aoi would do this to cut the fat and make the shabu-shabu taste even better and also to cut the fat and greasy feels. P129 The two closed their eyes in contentment. Certainly, when the raw amberjack was cooked over a flame, the entire flavor of the fish changes. Instantly the soft slices of amberjack became tough, and over that ponzu was added, this was entirely different when eaten as sashimi or with pickles, it can be an enjoyable, extravagant yet healthy food. Well, not really, it's just the season to eat hotpot deliciously. "Speaking of, what time is Shizuna-chan coming?" "The bath hours haven't ended yet, I think she'll come over after fixing and cleaning up the bath houses. She's the only one from the management staff, and she has to stay in her working area up until the end of business hours." "Oh, yeah. I see. Shizuna-chan is part of the management staff." I lightly glanced at O-ryo. O-ryo was a former management staff member, but she seems to be unaffected by my words. It seems that the person in question enjoys whatever working position she's in right now, and is drinking carbonated water as well as the mountain apple liquors equally. Somewhat it's like being that annoying single office-lady... "Perhaps I should say it- did you know? Orio-ya's Nene is married to their Waka-danna?" "No, aren't they just engaged? It seems like that for the time being, before getting married?" P130 Uhm, Kasuga and I looked at each other. But O-ryo wasn't listening. "Hmmph. That young girl, she'll be suffering so much marrying so young. That Waka-danna called Hideyoshi, that tiny squirt, he'll noisily scold her." "You think so? I've seen that Hideyoshi, he seems good enough. Well, he is pretty noisy. But he seems to like Nene very much, I think it's wonderful that he got his feelings through." I feel like an aunty who's earnestly chatting away about her relatives. If I could talk about it better, those two make a cute, tiny couple. "Gah! Enough chatting about a guy's love for some girl! I am not interested in the happiness of other people!" With a thud, O-ryo slapped her empty wine glass on the kotatsu. "Ahhhh, O-ryo sama don't start complaing about envying other people..." As always, Kasuga started telling her off with her "good grief!" pose. "I'm sorry I'm late--" A breath of fresh air, Shizuna-chan has joined the party.** Shizuna-chan takes care of the bath houses and bears the task of keeping them in order, and is Tenjin-ya's sole management staff for that purpose. "Shizuna, you're late! The battle has already started!" T/N: well the transliteration of the original text was "Shizuna-chan has arrived in the battlefield", but I think this has the same feel, from RPGs honestly IDK anymore lol anyways IMO food parties are always a battlefield so wth it's the same gahaha P131 "Ah, yes--? I'm sorry, ehhh, a battle?" After that, even if O-ryo was just a waitress who glared at her instantly, Shizuna-chan humbly apologized. It seemed that she had no idea what O-ryo meant with her words of choice. Shizuna-chan brought a box for us, filled with so many delicious sweets.This seemed delicious to eat as dessert. "Shizuna-chan, come sit beside me. Say, do you like amberjack shabu-shabu?" Shizuna-chan rarely visits here. I did my best to take care of whatever she needs. "Well, it has been a while since I had some amberjack shabu-shabu, how nostalgic..." "Oh, right. When you were young, you were a staff at Orio-ya. During that time, did you ate a lot?" "Yes, it was my favorite. Shishou-sama** made a lot of it for me..." Talking while bashfully fidgeting, Shizuna-chan started to eat with a lot of etiquette. Suddenly, O-ryo started looking at Shizuna-chan like a sister-in-law. "I say, uhm, Shizuna? There's someone in Orio-ya like you, who's also nice and has good vibes?" "Yes? A person with good vibes?" "Hey, weren't you explicitly pursued here in Tenjin-ya? Who was it.... That guy who looks withered up, called Tokihiko. You like someone who looks bitter and glum, don't you? It's illogical and unadult-like. Don't think that somehow you're under the shadow of that guy.. *hic*" T/N: I don't know how to call the main artist or the one who takes in a lot of disciples or students or apprentices so this is the next best thing, I guess? I mean, it’s directly translated as Master=師匠-Shishou, but it can mean other stuff, not just like sensei though. P132 "Oh, uhm.. that.. Shishou-sama.... he is uhm..." Shizuna-chan's face started blushing, like she had some beer or whatnot. Once that conversation was started, she immediately got perplexed. "Wait a minute, O-ryo! Shizuna-chan just started eating, don't ask her such direct questions, her throat might block off the shabu-shabu." "You're loud Aoi! Shut up, what's more important than looks are the uses**, you crazed-cook!" "What the.." Whom on earth did she think this hotpot party was prepared for? When O-ryo drinks liquor, she always blurts out unapologetic things. "Haaahhh... Aoi may be crazy about cooking, but in the end, eventually she'll get married to Odanna-sama... He'll pick up an excessively-expensive palanquin for you, you won't understand how miserable I am..." "What the heck are you saying... I'm doing my best to avoid being his fiancee." "But Aoi-chan, didn't you and Odanna-sama went out, and you were away for more than a night?" "Hold up, Kasuga, it's a weird, story, it can't be helped. We were captured by the mountain's Kaku-zaru." "Ah, but.. Odanna-sama pulled you out of a pinch, didn't that made you have a change of heart? Or some progress?"

T/N: hanayoridango=function before looks, like buying food first before buying flowers, yeah that’s the literal meaning of the phrase. P133 "...what?" A while ago Shizuna-chan got asked the same kind of questions. Suddenly, the three girls gazed at me. What the, what's up with their eyes, those three? They look like hyenas having an eye on their prey. "I.. I didn't mean it that way! Uhmm... Odanna-sama just.. gives his all as he saves me..." Speaking of progress, what on earth is progressing right now? My first-hand experiences weren't much, and even using those as my basis, I still don't understand. In the end, somehow despite never having an idea on what occurred, the warmth I felt when I was hugged just abruptly pops back again into my mind, and ultimately my face remains blushing, as I chattered and gritted my teeth in silence. I really don't understand this, I wonder... what is this feeling? "What the heck is that..?" "Yeah, what gives? It's weird, Aoi-chan's face is so red, why is that?" I could hear Kasuga and Shizuna-chan somewhat breaking the silence with their hushed conversations. "OK--- that's enough talking about sweethearts and whatnot-- That's every last one of them--" "Yeah, I heard you, I heard you!" O-ryo had enough of the topic already, and she rolled down into the kotatsu with an angry and dead-drunk expression. She probably got one-punched...** T/N: Yeah I feel you O-ryo, when everyone has some special someone and you're the lonely third wheel I mean, I can't blame you girl, I really can't. It's worse than getting one-punched by Saitama, but... Still lol tho sry my bad P134 "O-ryo sama, with that middle-aged man attitude such as yours, you'll miss your chances of getting married." "Kasuga? With the romance that a little girl-chama like you would know, wouldn't have an idea on what love is like, there's no such thing as an immediate fated encounter. Really esteemed women like me, wouldn't have to rush in choosing.There's no leeway for mistakes--" "Yeah, yeah. But regarding myself, I have a first love..." "What, that story about when you were young? Yeah, yeah, sure, that story that smells of inexperience is good enough. Kasuga, go pour me some more.." "Y-yes... Good grief..." The esteemed woman bully lied down again. And as the junior poured more liquor for her, she drank heartily, again. "But Kasuga, speaking of that, during the day, I saw you being with the Gesokuban** Chiaki-san. What on earth were you two chatting about?" "....uhm..." I suddenly remembered it, and without thinking I asked. Kasuga's facial expression slightly changed. "Reallyyyyy?! What the, Kasuga is with that Chiaki?!" Hearing that topic, O-ryo suddenly bolted upright. She kicked her legs inside the kotatsu, and Shizuna-chan let out a tiny, pained "ouch". "What is it, O-ryo?" "Chiaki may look sloppy and gaudy, but so many waitresses are eyeing on him. Not only does his face look good,

T/N: Gesokuban=下足番= doorman in charge of the footwear, normally in Japanese inns or hotels the footwear are kept outside the halls to prevent dirt from coming in. I think elsewhere in the world this is a practice, there’s a thing called indoor and outdoor slippers or shoes. P135 but being a Gesokuban, he's pretty much a member of the management staff. If he gets married, it's easy to dominate him. That's what I understand from hearing other people. Kasuga, he's also your type?" "...what are you talking about, O-ryo sama? Chiaki is my Uncle. Simply put, my father's younger brother.**" "Whaaa... Really?" Everyone got shocked. Everyone in here seemed to be unaware of that fact. Kasuga went "Uh-oh". Her face spelled out "I shouldn't have said that." "It's probably due to this liquor.. I may have said too much..." Kasuga was scratching an itch on her temple. Taking the opportunity, Shizuna-chan suddenly seemed to have remembered something. "Speaking of that... Kasuga is taking a long vacation to go back to her parents' home, and at the same time, Chiaki-san probably won't we working too, isn't it? Could it possibly be that, he's going home with you?" Somehow, a lot of suspicions and doubts started rising up, and Kasuga started clamoring and wailing. "Geez... stop it already! What I told you is already enough! More importantly, hotpot! Look, the mustard greens and onions, and the tofu had all boiled down.The umami of the vegetables and the amberjack have already dissolved into this precious konbu dashi, and it's considerably better now. Aoi-chan, how are we going to divide this?" With dexterity, Kasuga started distributing the contents of the hotpot into smaller bowls, but I was still determined to press information out of her. This girl is pushily taking charge over the hotpot... T/N: I don't know about you guys, but in some families due to the age gaps between the siblings, some of the nieces and nephews ar more closer in age to their aunts and uncles than the aunts and uncles have to the children's parents. I was actually raised by an elder cousin, and her eldest brother was around the age of my father, so yeah, I could understand how this whole thing with Kasuga goes. P136 "Ok, with this, it's definitely udon!" "Udon!" "Yeah let's do that" Shizuna-chan gratefully put her hands together, and O-ryo's sparkling eyes were on standby. Immediately, the udon balls were brought in, and these were dunked into the deliciously-filled dashi stock. After boiling it down, we only had to wait for the noodles to absorb the flavors. "By the way, you all, what do you think of the single guys in Tenjin-ya?" "Yes?" "Do you have anything funny about them to talk about?" While O-ryo poured some newly-opened liquor, she drunkenly pushed the question at me. This woman, sets herself aside and starts gossiping about Tenjin-ya's male army. "First of, let's start with Akatsuki. That guy's the youngest male in the management staff, he may have a promising future, surely being young his composure isn't yet enough, I think. Well, in desperate times I could say that he's adorable, but he's the type that holds grudges, and it's not a good thing that he easily snaps out. For certain, I think he doesn't have a girl." "It seems that O-ryo sama has a problem with the Bantou** -sama snapping out at her words and deeds, don't you?" "Shut up Kasuga--" "Owwwww" T/N:Bantou=番頭=head clerk, or the head receptionist

P137 O-ryo pulled out Kasuga's cheeks. Kasuga's cheeks stretched out so much. "Akatsuki-san's face is a bit scary, but he is a hard-working employee, in my opinion. But, well... I'm not interested in someone younger than me..." "That's right Shizuna, you have an older guy fetish don't you?" "Yeah, the guy has been living for 500 years now, yes..." Shizuna-chan just casually blurted out that she wasn't interested in Akatsuki. She's probably a bit drunk. She's drinking the mountain apple liquor on the rocks... "Akatsuki, you say... When I met him he shouted like he was going to kill me, that guy gave me the impression that he was the worst but... Now I think he's a really good chap. One way or another way though, he's not someone who likes taking care of others. I remember her younger sister.." That child** comes here to Yugao, his eyes may look evil but he's a caring person. Surely, I think that he's concerned about troubling his younger sister Suzuran and grandpa, among others. "Oh, and by the way..." At this point, Kasuga secretly pulled out a notebook and started telling us the stuff that she wrote. What the... What the heck, that is scary. "According to my research, the Bantou-sama doesn't have a woman's touch on him. He's aloof, and he easily and earnestly gets resentful. It also seems that despite the lady waitresses asking him out to have fun, he always doesn't go with them." "As expected..." T/N: the term Yuuma-sensei used for Akatsuki is mame=マメ=bean, but can also mean a child, a little person, etc. Honestly it's not wrong, Akatsuki is an actual precious bean IMO lol protect that spider bean lelz P138 "But that guy, a little girl once invited him to play with her..." Surprisingly, I thought this was a bit rude. Most likely, Akatsuki is sneezing a lot right now. "Wah, udon, udon--" Finally, the udon has been boiled enough. Everyone started putting udon on their bowls. "Gahh... This is it. The udon to finish the hotpot."** "Cooking this in the dashi makes it yummier, doesn't it?" The udon has surely absorbed the umami and the fatty flavors of the amberjack. I added the refreshing taste of the Sudachi Ponzu in mine. This went smoothly down the throat, and this perfectly wraps up the the meal. No, I mean, this is a work of art. "Hey Aoi, you only drank one glass of the liquor? You go drink some more..." "Sorry but, I dont drink more than a cup. Previously, drinking made my eyes hurt when I look at things." A cup of that liquor tastes great. But I dread getting drunk if I drink more than my limit. But everyone was just drinking heartily, so I guess it's fine. The mountain apple liquor also has another nickname, it's called "Easy Bandit-Killer". "Well then, next is the Waka-danna sama's turn" O-ryo continued the conversation where we previously left off. "Waaat? Even Ginji-san?! But.. Isn't Ginji-san perfect? No, a perfect Youkai? I couldn't find any fault with him." T/N: Just in case you're wondering how this works, it's rather easy.. After eating all of the ingredients in the Japanese hotpot, like taking out the veggies and meat, there's a lot of soup left. It's easier to just drink the soup but in Japan, they add stuff to help it go down easy. Choices are either noodles or rice, and the young ones love putting the noodles in. It actually tastes good either way, but I prefer noodles. I think in Persona 5 they also had this same dilemma lol Also yeah Ginji is just the ball, perfect ball of fur lol but he also has this shadowy and mysterious side so if you want a dude of mystery, Ginji's your man gahahaha P139 "Eh. You don't understand, Aoi. Seeing no faults or imperfections is that person's shortcoming-" An adultish smile floating up her face, O-ryo started spinning her glass around. "Waka-danna sama is, well, fanstastic. When you look at him he's handsome, he is well-mannered, and is skillful at his job." "Yeah I get that. He's very sweet, and he always lends a hand... But for sure, Ginji-san seems to have no interests in romantic relationships..." Even I haven't unraveled the reasons to why Ginji-san is still single. But I'm not surprised that he's well-liked. "Oh, well, based on what O-ryo-san was saying, Ginji-sama has no chink in his armor, doesn't he? When a little girl couldn't get any confidence from everyone and has to hold it together by herself, when that perfect Ginji-sama sees that person, his voice would probably not break so easily." "The Waka-danna sama isn't a greedy type, but look, what Aoi-chan is saying is that the Waka-danna seems to have no hobbies or interests. Aoi-chan doesn't understand how, but among the employees he seems to be the type that only admires one person. In that case, his attraction for this one girl could unfortunately end. And she won't be pursued relentlessly." Oh, I get it... Shizuna-chan and Kasuga pointed this out, and I could understand it better. "But after that thing with Orio-ya, somehow the air around the Waka-danna sama has changed, didn't it? T/N: OK I just translated from Japanese what I'd say if I was fan-girling over Ginji, srsly arrrghhh does a guy like this exist? I'd want the extra tails and the transformation powers but I'm OK without those as long as he's into romantic stuff.. Does he? Does he not? I don't know yet lol are there any Ginji fan-fams here too lololol P140 I heard it from the lady waitresses that aren't easy to talk to. That person, he has undoubtedly became likeable. And then, the Waka-danna sama, didn't he take care of you in your condition?" "..." With a wicked face, O-ryo was testing me with her words. But to me, up until now I think that Ginji-san is likeable, and in that case it's not even a joke. He hardly comes to Yugao now, and because of that it's gotten lonely... "On another point, among the Waka-danna sama's nine tails, the third one below, from the right seems to be the most unique.That is somehow a weak spot." "Kasuga, how did you know such information?" It's scary... Kasuga's information is creepy. Even though she's drunk the power of her research skills scared all of us. "Well then... Choubachou** Byakuya-sama--" "O-ryo, don't you dare take another step over there--" We suddenly exercised caution with Byakuya-san. If we speak rudely of him, we feel like we're going to get cursed.** "I honestly couldn't remember a time when he got angry..." "Me either..." "Me too..." T/N: OK so my bad, Byakuya’s supposed position ranges from accounting to reception, but I just previously translated his position as head accountant because it’s what I got before. But he’s more or less the chief of management operations, which includes accounting. Anyway... Hey, I mean, if Byakuya can kick Raijuu's ass then it's justifiable that Byakuya is always in a sour mood, and it's bad to talk about him rudely. Raijuu's a pain in the ass for sure. Arrrgh P141 In the end, this girls' group had nothing more to say. We shuddered when we remembered stuff, and inside the kotatsu we all curled up. Though we were only just talking about him, his pressure on us made us feel defeated even in here. "H.. However, Byakuya-sama stealthily spoils the pipe cats living at the back of the mountain..." "Kasuga, nobody knows about that yet. Don't talk about it, if that gets leaked out we'll get killed." Well, in short, Byakuya-sama pours all of his love to the pipe cats. "Geez, we've wrapped out heads too much on these puzzles, and my hands have lost all feeling. Like Odanna-sama, he also exists above the clouds." "That's because Byakuya-sama is Odanna-sama's good old wife." O-ryo and Kasuga opened the box that Shizuna-chan brought for us, and while munching on these they were sloppily chatting. "Good old wife?" Isn't Byakuya-san a guy? as I tilted my head. "Since long ago, he has assisted in the running of Tenjin-ya. Odanna-sama is able to go here and there freely for work, and Byakuya-sama was staying in Tenjin-ya and presides over it. He has long been in good terms with Odanna-sama, and Byakuya-sama could readily and frankly give out his opinions to him." Come to think of it, before Odanna-sama and I went out, him and Byakuya-san were talking about something one way or the other. P142 In that case, other than the other employess and executives, nobody sees it like an older wife giving encouragement to her husband. "And for sure, when the Oo-Okami** sama isn't here, Byakuya-sama also takes in that role as well, doesn't he?" "Oo-Okami?" Shizuna-chan was drinking the last drop of the sweet liquor, she was reminded of her old home and started talking. "Ougondouji-sama is currently residing in Orio-ya. Previously, Ougondouji-sama was asked to be the Oo-Okami. She holds the same position and rank as Odanna-sama, therefore ever since Ougondouji-sama left Tenjin-ya,the position has been vacant." "Oh, I see... If that's so, with regards to that old tale, I have asked Ginji-san about that." And with that, Byakuya-san also holds the position of Oo-Okami. "Haaaahhh... That weird chat about the Oo-Okami has been a bit too much already." "O-ryo sama, didn't you tell me back then that you'd focus intently on becoming Oo-Okami ,once upon a time?" "Shut up Kasuga! It's a harsh fact that I have to live with!" With O-ryo and Kasuga's conversation, my ears grew eager to listen. "But isn't that.. O-ryo already has no interest with the Waka-Okami position?" "Whaaat? Aoi, you're asking that question? Did't I tell you that I won't get into the position of Waka-Okami again?" T/N: Oo-Okami, Mistress of the House, or something, like the big lady boss.

P143 "R..Really?" "It's fine, really it is. My enthusiastic, indomitable personality is dead. I want to enjoy living a carefree life. I plan to marry a rich guy, then immediately stop working--" "..." Somehow, the atmosphere became tense. Could it be possible that, among all the people in here right now, we're all thinking that O-ryo didn't really want to give up that position? Especially Kasuga, she was shell-shocked, and her face looked troubled. I felt that the mood has changed, so I tapped my fist in my hand. "Oh, right, right. I brought some large-sized grapes from the fruit orchard park, and I made some grape tarts. Let's eat some? I added a lot of grapes on it, it's a custard cream dessert." "Kasstard? OK OK let's eat--" It seems that nobody understood what I meant, but everybody nodded their heads excitedly. Grape tart. I made the crust with the coconut oil from Orio-ya and baked it, and by adding the large grapes called Daishisui that I gathered with Odanna-sama yesterday, the tart looks like a sparkly jewelry box. On top of the crust, I laid down an easily-made custard cream made of Cassowary egg and some wheat flour, with cow's milk and a bit of sugar, P144 and these buried the grapes cut in halves, which I later baked in the oven. After baking this for a while, I topped everything with raw grapes and pure cream. These were arranged as such because the tightly-packed grapes beneath this layer cannot be seen. "Woooooow!" Those dynamic-seeing eyes, everyone's eyes were sparkling. I sliced the large tart in front of everyone, and when the neatly-arranged grapes were cut through, Shizuna-chan let out a regretful-sounding "Awww".** There wasn't any fork, we used kuromoji, special wooden chopsticks** normally used for Japanese sweets or just ate them using our bare hands. "Uwahhh this is juicy-- What is this, I thought this food has raw grapes, but this tastes is like it was meant to be a baked dessert!" "This is the first time I ate something that tastes like this, but the grapes' sweetness stands out, it's really delicious--" O-ryo eating with her hands and Shizuna-chan using a kuromoji, they fell into a trance like typical ladies who love sweets. "This is generally called a fruit tart, and with the rich taste of the eggs in the custard cream, it blends well with the sweet and sour freshness of the fruits, and together these really bring about the best-tasting combination. The sweetness gets reduced, and the sourness becomes mild." As I was explaining how the mild taste came about, Kasuga haven't taken a single bite of the grape tart, and while propping her chin with her hand, she was observing it quietly. T/N: Lol I feel you Shizuna-chan, I feel the same when a freshly-bought ice cream tub looks so neat I don't wanna cut through it lol that's why ASMR of perfectly arranged anything are famous bahaha

Kuromoji=黒文字= Japanese sweets are eaten traditionally by using tiny wooden chopsticks, to cut and skewer them. You can check them out via search engine or smth P145 "What is it, Kasuga? Don't tell me, you don't like grapes?" "Hmm? No, it's not like that.. I really love grapes. That dessert you called tart, I was thinking of something." Kasuga ate held tart like it was a hard cookie, and bit on it heartily despite doubting what it was, before chewing on it. She filled her cheeks with the grapes, the custard, and the fragrant crust. "Mmmm, I wanted to eat some more. The grapes are heavy, and they burst in my mouth." Just a while ago we were enjoying some amberjack shabu-shabu, but we still had room for dessert, and all of the girls ate as much of the grape tart to their hearts' content. "Aoi-dono--" In that moment, came a boy's voice that can be heard from inside Yugao. "It's Sasuke-kun. I told him that I was going to give him something to eat after his working hours." The three ladies around me went "It's.. Sasuke-kun?", and they looked at me from the side. "Say, Aoi, tell Sasuke-kun to come here too." "Really? Even if today's a no-guys-allowed girls' night-out, it's OK to call him in?" "Yes, it's totally OK. Sasuke-kun is an adorable and good boy." "..." Even though there was a nagging feeling, I went outside of Yugao and called out to Sasuke-kun. "Sasuke-kun, thank you for your hard work. We were just having a hotpot party inside but, P146 I'll also add something for you, OK?" "Hotpot, is it? Is it because it has already gotten a bit cold?" "Come in. Everyone's waiting for you. I'll go and prep up." "I understand." Sasuke-kun unknowingly trudged toward the innermost room, and opened the door. "?!" No sooner than opening the door. Sasuke-kun the ninja couldn't react fast enough, and he was dragged into the room. "Gyaaaaahhh! Aoi-dono, Aoi-dono---" Sasuke-kun, the innocent and sweet Sasuke-kun, he was preyed upon by the ladies starved of men. "I- I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun. I'll make you a delicious hotpot, OK?" I feel guilty that he gets harassed, and using another earthen pot I added dashi stock, vegetables and the amberjack slices, and hurriedly went towards the innermost room. Please, please let Sasuke-kun be OK! "..." Sasuke-kun was already pestered by the drunken ladies, here and there he was grumbling being urged to drink liquor, P147 his hair has been tousled and his scarf stretched out, it was horrible, but he was being coddled and spoiled. "Aoi-dono--" Poor Sasuke-kun, he was crying out of fear. He was unprotected, and the swarming girls were getting their fill, it was another shabu-shabu over the kotatsu setting. They're feeding him too much. While he's eating delicious food, I will protect Sasuke-kun.

Despite the determination of that bunch, just like turning off a lamp, the girls suddenly collapsed.

Zzzz.... The effects of the mountain liquor came at last, and the intense sleepiness has struck. "Aoi-dono.. What on earth, were you doing here?" "Hmm? It's a secret girls' night-out, Sasuke-kun." "Secret girls' night-out..."

It's really too much to handle drunkeness. The true intents and personalities of the girls, were hidden and unseen, in this empty room these must not get out. Everything that they spewed out, they'll probably forget in the morning. And that was the so-called, girls' night-out.

End of Chapter 4, Volume 6. Previous - Intermission 1 Next - Intermission 2

References:

Wonderful site for the youkai references

Other stuff I used to do this: Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Dictionary (you can buy here, I’m not sponsored btw). I was about to buy the older edition but then the newer one came out 2013 so I bought that instead. Worth buying since I was able to find nearly all of the words I needed just by stroke pattern alone.

Merriam-Webster's Japanese-English Dictionary (the red-covered 1996 version is apparently out of print right now). This is what I have been using for a very long time, I bought it when I was still a fetus (yes I am old so what lol), and after so many years, when compared to newer editions, I still prefer this one since its entirety is Japanese-English, the English to Japanese gloss are just 16 pages tops, so you get more Japanese words for your buck. But that’s just my opinion, maybe other people prefer the Jap-En x En-Jap IDEK.

Basic online dictionary, Jisho. Knowledge of verb conjugations and other words are necessary since not all have entries.

If you can read Japanese, you can buy the whole set in Amazon Japan, they’re shipping worldwide now, I think.

#kakuriyo no yadomeshi #kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel #kakuriyo no yadomeshi english fan translation #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 chapter 4 #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 chapter 4 english fan translation

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nite-shay · 5 years

Text

A leg to Stand on - Togata Mirio x Reader

AN:

Idea: Character finding out their S/O has a prosthetic limb. (Think automail from full metal alchemist).

Sorry for any misspelling or grammar mistakes.

Togata Mirio x Reader

He wasn't supposed to find out, at least not like this.

You were going to tell him, of course. It wasn't something you could hide at least, not for long. A mechanical prosthetic leg wasn't common even in the world of quirks and heroes. While you weren't ashamed of your leg, it wasn't something you flaunted. You were proud of yourself for your body and your accomplishments, but... life felt simpler when people saw you for you, not for what you were missing.

Your love life, if you could call it that, was proof enough of that. It's incredible how many assholes there are in the world. What was more incredible was how you seemed to attract said assholes and DATE them.

One broke up with you after on a treadmill at the gym. Coward did it over a text message.

Another one though your leg was a weakness and bad for his future image.

And then there was your most recent ex. While they were accepting of your metal limb, they thought it would be best for you to get out of the ‘hero business.’ They kept saying how dangerous it was for a 'normal' hero, but for someone like you, it was a death sentence. After a few fights, they played their final card; It was either them or the hero's life.

You could never give up being a hero.

After that, you swore off dating and decided to just focus on your career.

Everything was going great for a while.

Then you met, Togata Mirio, also known as the hero Lemillion.

The sunshine boy wasn't like anyone else you ever met. You ran into him and your coworker Amajiki at a ramen shop near your work. After a shy introduction from Suneater, Mirio invited you to join them. You two really hit it off and chatted like old friends. Amajiki (per request of Mirio) started inviting you to their outing, and you quickly built a friendly relationship with Amajiki, Mirio, and Hado. You were enjoying your time with them, especially with Mirio, but you never could work up the courage to ask for his number.

Luckily, Hado shipped the two of you... hard….

Hado blunt comments about how you two would make beautiful babies (she even went as far as finding an app that merges pictures together to show you what your child might look like), along with other playful ‘hint hint’ comments force the blonde in making the first move. Two dates and a couple of weeks later, you two were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

Dating.. hell just being around Mirio made you the happiest you had been in a long time...

Maybe that's why you hesitated when you thought about how to bring up your leg.

It's just… you were nervous. You liked him...alot.. maybe even loved him. Of course, Mirio was a hard man not to fall for. And it went far beyond just his looks. His passion, his personality... ok, his looks. Everything about him radiated positivity and life. Put a half-dead plant near him, and the damn thing will jump back to life.

If he did have a flaw, it was he was too perfect. You knew in your heart he would be accepting of your leg and your career, but...

You didn't want to mess anything up, and you really hadn't been dating too long...

Six months might seem like a long time but, given the fact that you were both heroes. It made your schedules a little... wonky, to say the least. Though six whole months have passed, you've only gotten to spend a month actually together in total. But that was the hero's life for you.

While it wasn't always ideal, you both understood, and fortunately, you had technology on your side. Texting, emailing, and calling made the time apart more bearable.

You felt like a giddy school girl as you checked your phone throughout the day. Reading the little message he sent you throughout the day, helped with getting through even the toughest of days.

But today was different.

After weeks of planning, both of you finally had a day off together and planned on spending as much time as you could together.

There was going to be a festival held in a local park nearby that you loved going to every year.

Mirio was dying to see a new comedy movie that just came out and, of course, no date we complete without a nice dinner at the local ramen house, the one you first met at.

Your day was set!

You had just finished brushing your lush (Y/Hair color) hair when you heard a knock at your door. You quickly check your appearance in the mirror before welcoming the expected visitor at your door. Your outfit was simple, (cute/cool) and appropriate for the adventurous day before you. A pair of your favorite pants and (favorite color) tank top. While it wasn't summertime yet, the day was going to be warm and slightly humid.

Mirio arrived at your apartment earlier than expected, and he looked amazing. He stood in the doorway, wearing a black t-shirt and tan cargo shorts that fit him too well. Not that you're complaining, you would soon cut your own tongue out before telling him ‘ya know babe, your butt looks too good in those shorts. You should go change.’

You haven’t taken that many hits to the head yet.

Without any hesitation, you stepped into his warm, welcoming embrace. The feel of his arms around you reminded you that it really had been way too long since you’d gotten to see him. So long, in fact, that it took the two of you a little longer to leave than planned when a quick greeting kiss turned into a heated ', I missed you so much' makeout session. The moment your lips touched, the world around faded away, and there was only the two of you. But before things went too far though, one your neighbor, old miss nosy, interrupted. Apparently, neither of you remembered to shut the front door for some privacy. The sharp huff and her snide comment about hormonal young people these days were enough to pull you from your daze. After rearranging your clothes and locking your door, the two of you were off to enjoy your day.

And oh, what a wonderful day it was.

Even with the slight change of plans.

Aizawa called Mirio around lunchtime and asked him to pick up Eri after school. The UA teacher was being called out to an emergency assignment and wouldn't be back till later that night. Mirio felt bad after telling you over lunch, but you weren't upset. In fact, you were excited to see Eri again and suggested that you include her in your outing. You enjoyed spending time with her. You especially got a kick out watching her and Mirio interact. The brotherly and sisterly bond they shared never failed to bring a smile to your face.

Everything was perfect…

… until a villain attacked…

The three of you were making your way to the festival. You walked beside Miro while he carried Eri on his shoulders. You'd been in an in-depth conversation with the curious young girl, and before you realized it, you reached a rough part of town. Unfortunately, this was the shortest path to the fairgrounds. But with the two of you being heroes, you weren't too worried.

Oh, how wrong you were…

You should have taken the bus.

You through as you dodge another attack from the villain in front of you. You had to be mindful with attacks you dodged, Mirio and Eri were crouched on the ground behind you. Mirio took massive damage from the villain's surprise attack. Parts of his face, the exposed skin on his arms and neck were an angry red and blistered. His breathing was harsh and uneven.

Eri huddled up next to him, was scared but uninjured. Even with Mirio's injuries, he kept himself between the young girl and the man you were fighting. The villain had a dangerous quirk, allowing him to attack with scalding hot steam. Thank goodness for the quick reflexes of your blonde boyfriend. The villain came out of nowhere with a blitz attack aimed right at Eri. With speed only a skilled hero would have, he simultaneously pushed you and Eri out of the way of the blast. But doing so left him completely defenseless, taking the full force of the attack.

In slow motion, you watched Mirio fall while you were left holding the young girl in your arms. Your fury rose as you eyed your injured lover and grinning villain. Quickly you tell Eri to run before you rushed the attacker in front of you. He was preparing for another attack, but before could, you hit him with a hard left, drawing his attention to you.

At some point, Eri ran over to check on Mirio.

"Mirio." you dodge another attack " If you can move, get her out of here. I got this guy!" You tried to counter

"I'm not going to leave you!"

"Just go!" Your quirk was strong, but it wasn't suited to fight the man in front of you. Your best bet was to hold him off until another hero arrived. His steam made it hard to dodge and even harder to get close for a counter. Every dodged, every counter made your skin boil. Finally, after what seemed like forever, you see an opening.

"Gotcha!" You yell, aiming your fist for the man's face.

The villain grinned as he emitted a burst of steam around his whole body. The skin on your hand and arm were instantly burned by the heated moisture of the air. You couldn't help but shout out in pain as you jump back, cradling your injured arm.

"(Y/N)!" Eri's voice echoed through the alleyway.

"You don't stand a chance. So just give me the kid, and I'll let you and your little boyfriend live." He taunted before gesturing over to Eri, who was shaking in Mirio's arms.

"No way. I won't let you take her…"

"What are you? Some hero wannabes?" He sneered.

"Try the real deal." You scoffed back at him.

"Ahhhh, I thought I recognized you… your (Y/Hero Name), aren't you? And is that Lemillion, behind you?" He laughed. "Oh, this is too perfect! I get to kill off two heroes and rid the world of that demon child too? Today's going to be a good day!" He attacked you again with even more determination than before. You manage to dodge most of his attacks and even land a few blows of your own. However, the little damage you could do was nothing compared to the damage you were receiving.

"Are you blind or stupid? Why are you fighting so hard to protect that little brat?"

"What can I say? I tend to take my work home with me."

"That's not what I mean. I mean, why would you fight to protect her?" He rolled his eyes. "It's her fault, Lemillion is quirkless."

" Do you really have nothing else better to do than pick on a little kid?" You weren't going to fall for whatever trick the villain was trying to pull, but a slight look of confusion must have shown on your face.

"You don't know, do you?" He taunted

"That's enough!" Mirio yelled as best he could before he started coughing.

"What Lemillion? Didn't you tell her what happened to you?" He was now looking passed you to your boyfriend behind you. Eri had started shaking as she tried to bury her face into his chest. Whatever the villain was talking about, was clearing affecting the two behind you.

"Shut up!" You attack again. You hated seeing Eri so upset. But what scared you was the look on Mirio's face. Typically, he smiled, even in the face of danger. You could count on seeing his dazzling grin to get you out of the toughest of situations. Not this time, though. You could see anger but also a look of sadness as he hugged Eri close to him, whispering something you couldn't quite make out.

"Let me fill you in little hero. That brat behind you, she's the reason your loverboy back there lost his quirk. It's because of her that he'll never be the hero 'should' have been. All because of her and her damn quirk." He smirked as he continued. "You see, she has the ability to destroy other quirks." You were shocked as you listened to the villain in front of you. You never really asked what Eri's quirk was or how it was they met. Of course, you heard rumors that Mirio was quirkless. You never saw or heard of him using his quirk, so you never really asked about it. Honestly, you really didn't care. He was a damn good hero and an even better person. "Don't you see how dangerous that kid is? She could destroy everyone's quirk! Your's, Mine, Everyone! I'm doing the world a favor by getting rid of her." He chuckled menacingly. "Guess you could call me the hero in this situation!"

"Who the hell do you think you are…" Your teeth ground on each other as your anger rose to a new level.

"What?"

"What gives you the right…" Your voice rose as you took a step towards the villain.

"The right? Honey, I'm a villain. I do what I want when I want." He chuckled.

"Villian or not. That wasn't your secret to tell…"

"Huh?" That confused him.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING SOMEONE ELSE'S SECRET?!" You launch yourself at the man. "You have no right to do that to someone!" You throw another punch only to meet a wall of steam. It wasn't as hot this time. You must have caught him off guard. That or you were just too mad to feel the pain. "People process things and will let others in at THEIR pace, not yours! People have secrets, and that's fine!

It's also okay for them not to tell anyone, but it's never okay for someone else to tell it FOR them!" You jump back to catch your breath some as you prepare for your next move. You looked back over your shoulder and beamed at the teary-eyed girl and your now smiling boyfriend.

"Mirio… Eri... I understand why you didn't tell me about your quirk or your relationship… I get it... That's a big secret to have. But know this, I will protect you, and I will never see you any different from before. I know what that feels like." You winked. "I have a secret, too, ya know… Something I haven't told either of you yet…" You turn to face the villain who had just gotten his second wind and charging up for the attack. And a powerful one at that. Without any hesitation, you rush the man in front of you.

"(Y/N)! "Eri's fearful voice echoed through the alleyway.

"This is where you die (Y/Hero Name)!" The man engulfed his body in vapor hotter than before. Without any hesitation, you swing your leg in a high kick at the man's face. The vapor destroyed the material of your pants to reveal shiny metal where soft flesh should have been. While you weren't able to see, you could feel the impact of your attack. The contact you made was sold and amplified by your rage, sent the man flying to the alley wall behind him, knocking him out cold.

Adrenaline still pumping, you run over to check Mirio and Eri. Just as you reach them. Backup finally arrives. A couple of offers and some heroes swarmed the scene. Apparently, someone had called in the fight happening in the alleyway, but with the festival going on, it took longer for them to respond.

"Mirio! Are you ok?" You crouched down next to him, checking over both him and Eri.

"Yeah, I'm ok… What… about you…. Eri?" His breath was uneven and hard as he spoke.

"Were ok." You said in unison.

Two EMTs arrived, immediately running over to the three of you. They were more concerned about Mirio and wanted to take him to the hospital. He, of course, fought them, saying how they needed to check you and Eri first. True, the burns on your up arms and hands were severe but weren't life treating. Mirio, on the other hand, had more pressing injuries. The first attack from the villain damaged his throat and lungs. So the paramedics were more focused on getting him to the hospital.

Without hesitation, you and Eri jump in the back of the ambulance with him. Much to the protest of one of the EMTs who was bandaging your burns. The ride back to the hospital was quiet. Eri didn't look at you the whole time. You felt bad. She was shy and to have someone say all those mean things about her... A kid… made you want to go back and kick that villain one more time for good measure. But Eri's safety and Mirio's health comes first. The doctors quickly got Mirio into a room and hooked up to a line of oxygen. One of the nurses was able to apply some minor healing to make his breathing a little easier. However, he would have to wait a little while before someone with the proper quirk could heal his lungs completely.

So there the three of you were. Eri didn't look up at you for the longest time, and it finally took Mirio talking to her to get her to look at you. The villain's comments really upset Eri, and she thought you now hated her because of what happened to Mirio. After a lot of reassuring, tears (from all three of you) and hugs (lots of hugs), Eri finally smiled at you again.

About that time, Aizawa entered the room. His mission got canceled last minute. He heard what happened and rushed over to check on Eri. After a few more reassuring hugs and promises to see each other later. Aizawa took Eri home, leaving you alone with Mirio. You were quiet for a while as you sat in silence, not sure what to say. Luckily, Mirio being Mirio, knew just what to do. He slowly slid over as much as the small bed would allow and raised one of his arms up.

"Come here..." He gave you a soft smile, and without hesitation, you climbed into the bed with him. This was something you both need right now. After some careful adjustment due to your injuries, the two of you found a comfortable position. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my quirk or about Eri."

"It's fine, believe me when I say I know a thing or two about what to bring up and when." You joked as you patted your metal leg. "Some things... aren't first date or even six months of dating conversations." He couldn't help but chuckle before finally getting a good look at your leg.

"I... didn't know about your leg... What happened?"

"There was a villain attack when I was a kid..." You whispered as thought back to that day. After telling him the whole story, he couldn't help but hold you tighter to himself. "After that... I decided to be a hero. I'm sorry I didn't tell you soon... and that you had to find out this way... Bet it was a bit of a shock, huh?" You glanced away slightly but stayed in his embrace. You felt bad for not telling him sooner. You mentally scolded yourself as you stare at your exposed metallic leg; if you hadn't been so afraid of telling him, you could have ended the fight sooner. It could have ended better. Mirio knew you were kicking yourself about the attack. He leaned down and gave you a sweet kiss on your lips. The blonde man knew you well, and you leaned into the kiss. True to his nature, the sunshine boy could break through the darkest doubts you had about yourself.

"A bit but not in a bad way... I was just surprised! But... now that I think about it... it does make sense..." His sheepish expression made you feel better until you fully comprehend his answer. After a kiss like that, you almost forgot you asked a question.

"Huh?"

"Well.. you have a little cans of oil in your medicine cabinet, and you have an unusual amount of tools for someone who doesn't have a vehicle... "He quietly reflected before a look of surprise washed over his face. "And on top of that...Tamaki said that Fatgum stepped on your foot last week, and you didn't even flinch!" He examined with his trademark grin.

His expression, along with his remarks through you into a fit of laughter. Hearing your laughter made his heart soar as he joined in. The fit was made worse as you remembered the look on Fatgum’s horrified face when he realized it was your foot and not a bunched up part of the carpet, stepped on. He apologized profusely and was surprised when you brushed off the incident.

"Poor guy. I thought he was going to cry!" You roared as you both continued to laugh until a coughing fit from Mirio finally claimed you both down. "So…. Do you have any plans tomorrow?"

"Not really. Bubble girl gave me the next few days off to rest up. What about you?"

"Fatgum was upset I got injured. I believe his exact words were, 'now, as much as I love fried chicken, don't bring your extra crispy butt into work for the next few days? Got it chickadee?'" You did your best to imitate the BMI hero's accent, which only causes you to go into another laughing fit.

"How about we hang out at my place tomorrow? What is Hado called? Netflix and chill?"

"I'd like that." You grinned as gently snuggled against Miro's chest.

Thanks for the read! If you want see the other stuff I’ve done, click the link bellow!

MasterList

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #togata mirio x reader #mirio x reader #bnha imagines #mha imagines #togata mirio #lemillion x reader

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Hickman’s X-Men Line: One Year in Part 1: Prelude, House and Powers of X, X-Men and New Mutants (Hickman)

Under the cut is an explination of how hickman’s run happened (the mass decay will be covered another time probably), and dives into his x-books: house of x, powers of x,x-men and his breif run on new mutants and what i thought. Pax Krakoa baby.

One year ago, I breathed a sigh of relief as I read the utterly masterful house of x #1. See for the past few months, i’d been waiting on baited breath for this comic with a level of anticipation not matched by any before or since. Even the debut of a spinoff to Chew, one of my faviorite comics of all time that i deftnetly need to do a retrospective on, this week got within the same galaxy and it still wasn’t on the same level. This was big, grandiose and everything I hoped for. And whatever issues I had as House and it’s sister series came out slowly died out as the full story unfolded, my jaw dropped and my faith in Hickman to save the x-men was fully delivered. At last the x-men were back on top. And it was going to be one hell of a ride.

As you probably know the x-men had been treated pretty badly at marvel due to fox having the movie rights, a move that still baffles and frustrates me. Instead of making money to rub in fox’s face by promoting the hell out of them in merchandise, animation, video games and of course comics ALONGSIDE the avengers, they basically ignored the x-men and fantastic four to give fox less to work with to spite them while fox.. entirely ignored this as since both franchises have been around since the 60′s and the x-men had had mountains of spinoffs to give them mountains of characters. So in short: a decision to spite and hurt their compeitors only cost marvel money, pissed off fans and fox’s eventual absortion as far as I can tell had absolutely nothing to do with any of this.

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Thankfully marvel DID stop being stupid eventually and relented: The Fantastic Four came back a year before house of x with a decent run by dan slott, which is thankfully more like earlier spider-man work and ff work, and less like what his spider-man run became from superior onward despite the ocasional misfire but i’ll talk about both runs another day. I mostly bring it up because with this revivial, marvel also slowly reintegrated the four back into the marvel universe and made their return feel like a big deal. The X-Men however took a bit: while they got an earlier shot at returning with ressurxion. Buuut with the idea of having hickman return in their back pocket, marvel apparently refused, at least according to cullen bunn who I fell has no real reason to lie, to let the writers rock the boat too much and the era perdictably was just meh, especially flagship book X-Men Gold which was written bafflingly by Mark Gugenhiem and outside of one or two good ideas basically felt like the comics equivlent of one of those party store albums where every song is a cover done by someone who couldn’t give half a damn. There were bright spots though with Cullen Bunn finishing out his awesome x-men tenure with x-men blue, Sina Grace’s wonderful iceman that took the wonky execution of Bendis’ decision to make bobby drake gay and made it work beautifully, and the decent if somewhat baffling x-men red. But overall it just felt like a missed opportunity and with the fox deal in bloom and a new EiC, marvel NEEDED something bigger, bolder and grander to do with marvel’s strangest heroes of all. After all all eyes would be on them while Marvel’s Movie department took a few years, probably longer now thanks to the pandemic, to let things cool off before bringing the x-men into the mcu. Enter Jonathan Hickman: Writer of another one of my faviorite runs of all time, his Fantastic Four run, along with an enjoyable but heavily flawed avengers run, a secret warriors run i’ve read half of that was a hell of a ride, tons of ultimate comics, and a bunch of indies I haven’t read but are probably great. A wordy weirdo and i’m convinced the second coming of grant morrison, and I hope one day the two work together on something tha’ts equal parts weird and amazing.

The morrison comparison is also apt as both came into the X-Men at a time when the x-men badly needed them: Just like Hickman morrison had to deal with a largely stagnant x-men and changed them to fit the times. And yes unsuprisngly i’ll also be covering morrisons run, warts and all, and it’s also one of my faviorite comics of all time. However Hickman was given a huge advtange his spirtiual predecessor, and really few comics writers EVER have gotten: full control of the x-men line. Unlike morrison who wasn’t even allowed to use certain characters despite writing the main fucking x-book, Hickman got full creative control: full say in the direction of the story, full say in who came on board and to let them pitch whatever they wanted to do. And honestly it’s an apporach that’s not only reovlutionarly but makes the books FEEL like their actually occuring around the same time. Sure their all still seperate entities, but it DOES feel like one coheisive universe. Contrastingly with the avengers Black Panther’s solo has had him on a year long sojurn in space, before returning to earth.. while also running the avengers over in jason aaron’s run and having his own spinoff team, without any fucking clue as to when intergalactic empire of wakanda takes place in relation to everything else. Tony Stark is currently just taking back both his own damn name and the iron man name in his own book, but is also a major player in avengers, and empyre with no mention of his seeming drunken spiral (itw as a ploy) or arno taking up the armor and I feel these issues rather than the neglect the x-men once had are why krakoa’s impact isn’t being felt more in other titles. I’m not saying don’t let books do their own thing, but I am saying let them have fucking consequences and weight instead of just acting like one isn’t happening or at the very least have a character be absent for an arc so you can fit the other stories into continuity easier. As X-Men’s shown it dosen’t stifle inovation and hell even immortal hulk easily fit into no road home with a fucking note saying “this takes place before x issue” it’s not that hard. This advantage was likely part of Hickman’s terms for coming back. See the x-men were the one thing at marvel he never got to do. The Gillieon and Aaron runs and Bendis runs meant the spot simply wasn’t open and by the time he was leaving it was clear marvel wanted to bury the x-men not praise them, so his ideas had no run. But the X-Men were what got Jonathan into comics. A shocking fact I learned at last years comic con, during which most of the dawn of x titles were revealed, was he WASN’T a fantastic four or avengers fan as a kid, not hating them but like me with the avengers for some time, not really caring about them. But with both runs, he did his homework, read as much as possible, and BECAME a fan, and it shows as both runs show a deep love for both marvel and the teams present. With X-Men they were his dream, his golden goose, his windmill, he just never was in the right place at the right time... but with Marvel needing his starpower and creativity and having nothing to loose with the x-men and badly needing a big run to hlep keep intrest in the x-men till the new movies, he finally was. So seeing the company needed him and he could get his dream and the control he needed, while dc had just taken bendis, didn’t need him and until very recently was ran by a moron, his choice to come back to marvel instead of go to dc as he’s admitted, was obvious. And it ended up being the right one. House and Powers of x were massive creative and commerical hits and the following titles have all been mostly praised. The new direction has been a boon for the franchise,k the fans and marvel. So being a fan of this direction, as you can tell by the massive intro, to give my thoughts on each book so far: what I think their doing right, where some went wrong etc, since I’d rather wait another year or so befor ediving into these and let some more of hickman’s plans and future story hints spread throughout his books pay off first. WIth that all out of the way it’’s time for a deep dive of x.So grab some plant based snacks, your x-shaped helmets, and your krakoan coffee, it’s time to finally get into hickman’s era of x-men.

HOUSE OF X AND POWERS OF X The opening salvo and just with two mini series that are one, though why he DIDN’T just have them be one big mini series I genuinely do not know, probably to justify having two diffrent artists to carry the load, is an utter masterpiece. Plain and simple. Let’s get the status quo the series set up out of the way so I can dig into it more: Magento and Xavier were revealed to have been working together for years behind the scenes.. with Moira Mactaggert, one of my favoirite x characters who the series changes utterly and forever. See instead of being the one human who consitantly is on mutants side and one of the x-men’s staunchest allies who sadly hadn’t been resusrected in 20 fucking years, she was a mutant herself, her ablility being reincarnation.. and thus had lived through 9 of her 10 lives seeing mutantkind always loose so told xavier and magneto about this in the hopes of breaking the wheel and letting mutantkind live this time. However hickman , while revealing the alliance does brilliantly still make it work in continuity for me: it’s clear from moira’s notes in one issue, as house and powers and any following titles love having charts or text based sections that I feel give the comics a unique flavor and really help boost most issues, that Charles optimism she was trying to break him of and faith in humanity took years to fully shatter: he plotted and schemed with her to protect his species but it was clear he probably felt it woudln’t be necessary that humanity would prove her wrong.. and by this series it’s clear, no they haven’t changed, the majority of them just want to genocide mutants and have tried again and again and again while the rest who don’t necessarily want it, paticuarlly the superheroes did nothing while Magneto chaffed against her after the whole “alter his infant self after he was deaged by a mutant he made into a baby to be more pacificsitc which naturally pissed him off when that wore off”. Yes that’s a thing that actually happened pre and post retcons it’s why a survivor of the holocaust is , while not a YOUNG man, still healthy and vibrant. It’s a clever way to not undermine those stories while still telling this one and this retcon is a move I like as unlike most retcons it’s both there to tell a good story and excuted in a way that outside of moira dosen’t undermine anything. The Moira retcon I was and to a degree still am mixed on. While the new version of her is brilliant, creative and intresting and I can’t wait to see what happens with her next time she shows up, I do mourn the old as the x-men had few human allies and now their only big one is now a mutant herself, but it IS in service of a really damn good narraitive and the twist that the bad futures presented were in fact other lives of moira was brilliant, and it’s nice to see SOMETHING done with her. I’d rather something that i have a small problem with lead to really great things and be worth the sacrifice of her former character, than just changing things because “fuck it I want to do this and their letting me do this’ as a lot of retcons tend to be. Hickman’s story needs moira and her cycle of defeat to truly soar to the heights it’s reaching, and to make Charles and Xavier’s back alley actions make sense, so i’ll glady sacrifce one version of a character that I really liked for another version of her that’s also really good. The other big swing though I was completley on board for: Hinted at early on by serveral dead mutants being alived, after a sucidie mission against new big bads and mutant hating extermists orchis, who are far better written than other extermists, it’s revealed just why death has seemingly taken a holiday: the big plan that has been decades in the making for xavier and co? That will reshape mutant kind and required working with mr sinsiter of all people? Revivie all dead mutants. See in a brilliant reveal Cerebro isn’t just a mutant tracker; It’s a copier, copying their essecnes reaguarly and storing them for later, updating them every so often and thus meaning any who died can come back. Why it took Chuck so long to do this is also explained as he needed 5 specific mutant power sets to do it and thus had to wait till they had everything they needed: Goldballs, yes goldballs, spits out his giant golden balls, phrasing, which hickman in an insane and awesome turn revealed to be EGGS. Yes EGGS. Proteus, Moira’s son and former villian whose now pacificed since this body cloning process means he has an infnite suply of xavier bodies to burn through and thus isn’t killing people, warps reality to mamke the eggs viable. Elixir, a healer whose been through some shit the poor guy,gives the eggs , once injected with the mutant in questions dna via syringe because of course, life, and Tempus, goldballs former classmate fellow bendis creation and mistress of time, speeds it up a bit so they don’t have to wait a good few decades for some mutants to rerez. The fifth that makes all this possible is hope summers, mutant messiah and adopted daughter of cable returned to promence once more, whose power is revealed to be power maniulation and thus can boost their powers to the degree neded for this. it’s a BRILLIANT turn that not only undoes all the pointless deaths mutants have undergone, but changes the game: Genocide is now near impossible, as humanity has no idea bout any of htis, and instead of mutant lives going down, they can only go once.. as one man once put it...

And as an x-men fan having watched characters I love die again and again for stupid reasons, especially int he placeholder run right before house of x, this was so satsifying. Everyone the x-men had lost, every character I loved who was gone and forgotten.. they were back or would be back. And thanks to Krakoa they were thriving: By giving mutantkind a homeland instead of a headquarters, a nation given to one of their own because he demanded itbasically, or an island fortress designed to give a dying species refuge, they have a goregous sentient island (I’ve always loved krakoa for the record though I wonder what happened to his clone son), with abundant food, teleporting gates across the world to visit wherever they like or live in the various worldwide habitats if they please, and peace and security they’ve neve rknown. No more being woken up to get to a panic room because a sentienl attacked. No more having religious maniacs blow up busses containing your tine. No more having the vast majority of the superhero community do nothing as a fucking plauge cloud wipes out your species. Anything apporaching krakoa now has hundreds of the most powerful beings alive defending all mutants.. and that includes the worst of the worst, all given amntesty.. but they must tow the line or else be given a fate worse than death. After years of pain and suffering and misery mutantkind is free safe and happy. They still have to fight to get the rest of their kind out of racist hands and to saftey, the fight’s not over.. but now the odds are in mutantkinds favor. It’s paradise. And yet this mini, and this whole run dosen’t run from tough issues; The mutants are now isolationists and only mutants are allowed on krakoa itself.. on the one hand this is a bad idelogy and potentially dangerous, instead of fighting for harmony fighting for my land alone.. but it’s also see why Mutantkind has taken to it. The X-Men have tried for at the least a decade in universe and at the most and most likely 15 years to live in harmony, fight for mankind and make peace with them.. and only a small chunk has acutally tried to help them with that. The other large fraction? They either build death machines to try and wipe out all mutants, and in the case of Cassandra NOva who while not a human is still a racist genocidal bitch, SUCCEED in wiping out a large chunk, or do nothing while mutantkind suffers. The series forces you to think about the implications that marvel comics themselves previous ignored: That with all the superheros in this world who arent mutants.. more often than not htey’ve done fuck all when terrible shit happens. When Genosha died, not a one asked the x-men what happened or tried to hunt down those responsible. When Decemation happened, the avengers were more concerned with helping the x-men cover it up than helping them move on and did nothing as the goverment made xavier’s into a reservation, even after regrestration happened and the goverment had more heroes than ever to spare to helping them. When the T-Mist happened years later instead of stopping terrigin or asking the inhumans to stop it for the good of another race, the rest of the heroes just did fuck all. Sure the avengers were on a budget and the ff were asbent, but there were enough heroes in the world still and enough teams to do something about it and only the ones with mutants on them did!. IT’s hard to say “well you shoudln’t exclude them”.. when the rest of superhero kind has been subtly doing it their whole lives. But it dosen’t shy away from the claims of racial superiority the isoaltion or the fact the x-men basically sued for nationhood by making requiring recognizing their nation hood the price for trading for their life saving and extending, world changing drugs, which you would still need to buy. There’s other issues, one that i’ll get to in a moment as it was only revealed in x-men. Various characters, Corsair in issue one of the ongoing, the fincial summit in issue 4 and the ff both in house of x #1 and ff/x-men, all question this and some of the ethics. Hickman brilliantly decides instead of just painting the x-men as absolute moral rights, to show their new nation warts and all: the genuine good their doing and trying to do but also the price they have to pay for it and the mistakes they may be making. And the compromise necessary to build a nation. It’s all chiling, compelling shit that’s even more releveant in a time when bigotry is piling up like crazy. Both house and x-men, which i’ll get to in a second, ask questions with no easy answers and it makes them a compelling read. Also compelling is the two mini series use of flashbacks: The two previous moira timelines, which we learn are just that as we go, are compelling with the apoclaypse timeline having loveable heroes were are heartbroken to see die in the struggle, while the last timeline seemingly sees the mutants turn as bad as the humans.. only to peel back a layer at the end and reveal humans are still very much the real monsters, and them evolving via machine is a threat to mutant kind's natural evolution. It was a good story twist and of course there’s FAR more to dig into in both books, and I defintely will at some point in the future as I said. But there’s tons of great ideas here: Sinsiter not only being a mutant but a reluctant ally, the same of apocalyspe, the heavy questions I got into above, the idea of machines being mutants greatest threat which makes a ton of sense, and the various ones I already went into. I can’t gush about this book enough, but since this is already long enough i’m trying. The point is both mini series are great and how you do a self contianed event perfectlY plenty of consequence, plenty of scope but enough character and brilliant ideas and a FUCK TON of quotable and iconic lines, all blend into one of the very best series i’ve ever read. And lead directly into..

X-Men I talked about a lot of what this book represents above as it’s a direct continuation of the above, but the book on it’s own is still something diffrent. while it continues setting things up, playing with the new toybox hickman set up, and asking the tough questions, x-men does it in a diffrent way. House and Powers bounce around through time while all telling one huge story and one huge bundle of setup for this status quo. X-Men instead is a bunch of single issues. It’s still a ton of setup, though with enough payoff to house and powers that it at least so far hasn’t become tedious, especailly since hickman specifically has plans for all of it and has shown in the past he’s a long game man when it comes to storytelling, but through more action packed stories that, with the exception of mistque’s spotlight issue so far, have one shared element: Cyclops, aka Scott Summers, who as grand captain of krakoa is the nation’s ruling council’s go to guy for missions and who he himself can form any team he once for any mission. Cyclops, like the x-men hadn’t been treated well for years; Various characters lambasted him after the phoenix force drove him mad and lead to him killing charles xavier, and before that his run as leader of utopia, not helped by x-force painting him as a cold heartless dickweed, had him forced to make questionable decisions that made fans turn agains thim despite the hard position he was in. But now with the burden of absolute leadership of mutantkind in other hands, HIckman writes scott beautifully and has restored him to his proper place. WIth Xavier taking over as absolute leader of mutantkind and his race no longer hanging by a thread for the first time in years scott can relax and ENJOY himself. As the first issue shows he has everything he ever could have possibly wanted: A healthy marriage with Jean again, and an open one at that with him free to still see emma and Jean openly seeing Logan. Logan himself no longer trying to murder scott for his mistakes or kill his teenage self due to bad writing, but being his best friend again and also living with him and presumibly having threeways because they have connected bedrooms and of course jean would want both at once. Maybe they also just fuck each other sometimes again the details haven’t exactly been clear but it’d explain the tension disappearing. Maybe the schism would’ve ended quicker if Cyclops and Wolverine just fucked each other after children of the atom. Hey not every question is a deep personal one on krakoa sometimesm it’s just “Are these two fucking and could it have solved things faster in the past if they did?”. Also I almost forgot to mention, and added this near the end of writing this, in additoin to everything else scott now lives ON THE FUCKING MOON, on the blue area with a breathable atompshere, on a moon house with his family and fuckbuddy and Vulcan’s buddys. It’s fucking amazing. But moving back to other things scott’s gotten besides logan’s wang up his butt, as seen in issue one thanks to the gates his dad can now visit anytime, his brothers live with him with Vulcan going from genocidal dickweed to weirdo thanks to his experinces between his “death’ and this series, and he’s just. happy. And as a leader he takes the x-men on thrilling missions: the series combines action with character and worldbuilding and it is great. The worldbuilding part has been tremendous; we’ve seen new foes in the returning children of the vault and horticulture, aka what if the golden girls were tv ma, and also plant based supervillians plotting a better future for mankind that krakoa’s drugs clash with. We’ve seen nimrod creeping close, charles and magneto not playing ball with mystique start to backfire, the return of krakoa’s lost love, and in my faviorite arc, we’ve seen broo, one of my faviorite x-people and intellegent brood, eat an egg and thus become god emperor of the brood, not only giving the vicious race a chance to reform but giving the x-men a huge advatange in space, doubeldby events we’ll get to in a second. And biggest of all we saw the crucible: Since those depwoered by the decimation can get power back by dying again, and to prevent overworking the five with mass sucidies krakoa came up with a nasty solution,: earning resurection via ritual combat. And like the above there aren’t easy answers to this: mass sucidie isn’t better or faster, but having mutatns forced to EARN repowering by dying brutally isn’t a great solution either and is kind of sick. And it also opens up questions about ressurectoin that Nightcrawler feels made need reegion to answer htem. It’s again good heavy instreating stuff. We also got my faviorite issue #4 where the x-men go to a fincial summit, and while security detail cyclops and gorgon fight off hired goons...

youtube

Xavier, Magneto and Apocalypse discuss with world leaders about the implications of krakoa’s policys, with Magneto not hiding his love of flexing his superiority. And Charles ends the confrence, after it’s revealed one hired them in an utterly masterful moment: Taking off his helmet to reveal no this is charles, this is him and that even after they tried assintating him he has and always will love humanity he’s just sick of being treated like crap and suffering for doing it and his people suffering for it and he won’t tolerate this sort of shit again. See it for yourself it’s an absolute triumph:

It’s a great scene. Overall an utterly great title that really keeps the momentum moving and I feel is only setting up for even more things.. the only real issue is that A) the title’s been slower at coming out than the other dawn of x titles, though in the case of the empyre tie in’s it’s not hteir fault but the rest sure as shit are, and B) that it has mostly been just setup but it’s been good enough and enjoyable enough and I feel payoff is coming, so I truly don’t care. At long last we have a main x-men book that’s not only fantastic but uttterly engaging and I read most issues multiple times. An utter slam dunk

Giant Sized X-Men: This one is incomplete, so I can’t fully say what the full picture is.. but for the three released so far it’s a mixed bag, though the art in all three is gorgeous as Hickman brought on the best artists in the buisness but it’s telling that while New Mutants bellow had issues that bugged me but was still kinda fun, and the above havem y utter priase I nearly forgot to include these issues. None of them are bad and all have gorgeous art as I said, these are some of the best in the buisness, they feel padded. These were supposed to be annuals, but when they decided to change this to one shots.. they shoudl’ve just made them regular length instead, as there simply isn’t enough story here to fill them and so far only Davis’ issue has both had huge setup (both revealing doug’s fusion with warlock is a secret for some reason and that he is indeed still fully alive and revealing what happened to the x-mansion), and due to Davis background as a writer/artist the pacing to fill one issue and even then it could’ve been trimmed. Not bad and I don’t fault the artists for not being used to being writer/artists or having to do so while also conforming to a larger narriative which likely didn’t help or in the third one’s case having to take over for someone else entirely, but it’s , while not bad no ton par with the two above books and I expect better from hickman.

New Mutants (HIckman’s Issues) I’ll cover Brisson’s issues next time as they feel like a diffrent run entirely, but New Mutants was.. a disapointment. I was utterly pumped for this title going in being a huge fan of the team thanks to finally reading the claremont and sikenwitz run and before that re-reading abnett and lannings utterly great run and hey jonathan hickman who’d already done gangbusters was writing it! It had a great roster!

And it starreed one of hickman’s faviorite mutants and one he’d taken a shine to on avengers, and one of my faviorite superheros, Roberto DeCosta, aka Sunspot. On Avengers hickman took Roberto , already a decent character and made him amazing. He was still rich, young and a playboy as ever.. but he used said wealth and his love of fun wisely. When undercover at an AIM casino instead fo throw down, he offers the agents a free day of partying and gambling on his huge dime, then puts them on payroll as his undercover agents. So to recap Roberto DeCosta won the avengers two valuable double agents in what at the time was one of their biggest threats.. by buying them tons of beer and gambling and presumibly hookers. And later got the loyatly of the rest of AIM through these guys, and when Steve found out tony betrayed him and went off hte deep end hunting him instead of stopping the end of the goddamn world, TOOK OVER AIM HIMSELF IN COMBAT WITH THE AIM SUPREME, and then formed his own avengers.

Literally. He got his own avengers team, most of which left after the apocalypse but he simply found younger and hungrier replacements, and aim.. with blackjack and hookers. The man is a legend. And knowing Roberto if hookers were actually involved he probably treated them with respect and overpayed them because he’s a class act. Then under Al Ewing’s mighty pen, Roberto not only formed another avengers team since most of the avengers he formed to stop the end of the world were busy elsewhere, of young and great avengers, while dying of the aformentioned death cloud, but became an utterly brilliant chessmaster, only failing ONCE becaue of hydra cap getting into his head while AIM was working for the us goverment towards the end as the USAvengers. And yes that’s a real team. It’s as insane and beautiful as it sounds. And his new avengers once fought american kaiju, a godzilla with a flag painted on it chaning usa. Al Ewing is the best and I love him. But he also became a master stratigest and schemer with schemes within schemes within schemes, his crowning one being faking his own death and using his fake funeral to clear out any remaning enimies in AIm, and only quitting AIM to keep it out of goverment hands and in the hands of a trusted friend. He was and still is one of the best avengers there ever was and ever will be. But here, as the new mutants go on a road trip to get sam? He’s a fucking dumbass who hires the worst space laywer possible, only gets off trial because Sam and his wife save them, glad they weren’t broken up by the way, and is utterly useless most of the time. It’s like HIckman forgot the last part of his run.. granted time runs out isn’t very good but still, that wasn’t a good thing to forget and like Hickman wants to ignore ewing’s work for no damn reason, even though Ewing did great things with Roberto and kept him relevant when marvel was choking the x-men to death. It’s fucking embrassing and disapointing to see. The rest of the New Mutants aren’t much better mostly being happy but also not really acting like themselves, with only mondo really standing out since he gets great moments and hasn’t done anything in a while. And Doug, who I negelcted to mention above is one of my faviorite mutants and thanks to being krakoa’s primary method of commuincation, is now one of krakoa’s most important mutants, has a seat at the council with krakoa, and weirdly has his best friend warlock hiding on his arm for reasons that haven’t been explained yet. In Short doug went from beign forgotten to being used awesomely again. Roberto instead of getting the same is set back as a character and ends the arc deciding to stay in space because he misses sam, and will likely become third in his marriage i’m sure, and wants to bone deathbird, x-men villian and frequent shiar usuper. But while rahne actually being happy is a good sight to behold they , except Dani, really dont’ do much. Though Magik gets a fucking amazing scene where she asks the various assasians sent ot kill them if they want to make out , not only revealing she’s bi, but that she’d prefer that to killing them all but does so when they dumbly refuse .. I mean seriously who, whose not in a relationship that’s open or way older than her, not take her up on that? The plot their thrust into isnt’ great either, mostly just more setup but not present as well as in x-men about Gladiator giving the shiar empire to xavier’s daughter.. yes charles has a daughter that was created from his and his ex wife lilandra, whose still dead’s dna, and letting DEATHBIRD Of all people teach her instead of his damn self. Xandra taking over isn’t a terrible idea it’s just handeld poorly. It just feels disapointing.. like hickman WANTS to do a JLI style book here but the combination of him only doing one arc and not really wanting to write the characters as they should be, an issue that only pops up here and in the new mutants cameo during x-men proper and not for doug ever, that makes it fall falt.. I mean there are utterly great moments like the above, and hte image i used to lead off their just stifled by misusing roberto and everyone else.

But overall hickman’s works on x-men are fucking great, intresting and engaging. I’ve read the issues a ton and will again. One small mistep dosen’t take away from all the large good he’s done and he’s made the franchise feel alive again and hopefully the MCU take on it will take after this run, as it’d be a great way to break from the endless xavier vs magneto battles of the fox universe. So yeah overall 2 great books and a thankfully short misfire, HIckman’s on top. And next time we’ll see who he picked to help him carry the x banner home to us all, and who did well with it and whose stumbled a bit as part two delves into the rest of the dawn of x. For now subscribe for more comics stuff as I plan to get back on that, including I hope a restrospective on the fox era x-men sometime soon, animation reviews, and more fun stuff. And until then, courage.

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subsonicspeeds · 4 years

Text

(Crazy For You) Not That Crazy

siege on the mind lately. i entirely planned on this being a segue into me trying out nsfw fics but uh. it ended up going domestic. i’ve got another chapter to redeem myself

pairing: smoke/mute

length: 1.6k~ words

you can also read it on AO3

Smoke never realized how hard it was to be away from the people he really cared about. Mute reluctantly agrees.

Things got lonely real easy for Smoke. He was so used to being up everyone's ass, especially the people he cared about. It was his way of showing his appreciation, despite all the protests. But he had no plans on changing how he was. If people didn't like that about him, that damn well sucked for them because he wasn't going to do anything about it.

But either way, it was painfully obvious he was getting stir crazy from this operation. They'd been gone for about a month now, just waiting out at a high target area. Apparently the White Masks made a ton of threats on the area, and of course they couldn't have that, eh? Yet so far it was just bluff after bluff, but Six wanted to guarantee the civilians and general area was safe from any threat. So it was him, Valkyrie, Clash, Kapkan, and Wamai. Not people he necessarily… meshed well with. They were professionals, sure, they could work together just fine. Socially, however? God they were leagues different from him.

The only person Smoke could find some comfort in was Wamai, and he in return would humor him. Sorta reminded him of his boyfriend, the absolute love of his life, Mute. Minus the whole… snarky and sexy part of him. Maybe they weren't too alike, but he nonetheless had a calming presence. And those two were friends, perhaps that's what got him thinking like that to begin with.

Whatever the case was, Smoke was currently sitting with his back against a corner, legs sprawled out with his shotgun just an arms reach away. Valkyrie had already yelled at him numerous times for being too relaxed, but bloody hell no one was going to come at this point and he knew it. Only near the beginning of their deployment were any shots fired. Local enforcements were worried about how the place would manage without Rainbow watching over them, so they were taking their sweet time getting soldiers trained and equipped to deal with this type of situation. Milking the five of them for all they had, essentially.

They weren't meant to leave, but with how long they'd been deployed, they would take turns going on walks every so often. Smoke, though? He was sneaking out every chance he could get. For either a cigarette break or just to get out of that dingy ass building, he was just glad to feel the fresh air on his skin again.

And honestly? Sometimes Smoke just wanted to abandon them, just for a few days. Maybe pretend something happened and create an elaborate ruse. Though that'd just get them stuck there for longer, probably. But christ, it would make something interesting happen. He just needed something to spice things up without completely saying “fuck this” to the mission.

Sighing in frustration, Smoke reached for his phone. He took off one of his gloves for easier usage, in case he needed to send a few texts out. It was possible to press the screen in his gloves, but actually typing words? Not a thing he could do. His notifications were mainly spam, scrolling through for the first time in hours. He had to give himself credit, not checking it constantly despite how fucking bored he was. Once he neared the bottom of the list, he noticed something important. The notification read:

💓💕 The Babe 💘💞

Picture Attachment

Mute… never sent pictures to him. Even during this operation, it was mainly phone calls, texts, and the occasional video chat if Smoke could pull it out of him. His heart began to race at the thought of just maybe getting a new picture of his partner, after having to just stare at old pictures in his gallery or relying on his imagination. Rushing to open the message, he was greeted by something even better. He couldn't help but audibly gasp and smiled widely underneath his mask. It was a selfie of Mute and Charlie, Smoke’s daughter. He could feel his heart bursting at the seams as he overanalyzed the picture, taking in every little detail about the two most important people in his life.

From the way that his daughter was absolutely beaming at the camera, her hair completely drenched. To Mute’s unmistakable resting bitch face, but Smoke could tell by the slight curl to his lips and the way his eyebrows were much less furrowed, that he was having a good time. His hair was soaked too… What did the two get up to?

Before he could even text the question, Mute replied with a simple:

‘Got caught in the rain. And she misses you a lot.’

This was too much for Smoke’s heart to handle, and he felt like he was going to burst. Mute was left in charge of Charlie for the time being, and since the two got along surprisingly well it worked out perfectly. There was some protesting from his daughter, saying that she was sixteen now and could handle herself, but Smoke frankly didn't care. He trusted Mute to make sure she didn't set the house on fire.

Once his hands stopped shaking (When did they start? He hadn't even noticed.) he texted his partner back.

‘god you can't even comprehend how much i love and miss you two’

Watching the “...” appear and hover on the screen was too much for him. They could have a real time conversation, and Smoke didn't plan on dropping the phone for anything. If those Masks came, they'd have to wait for him to send a text to the love of his life, because he should at least know he was about to get shot at.

‘Charlie said that's gross and cheesy, but she loves you too.’

Pursing his lips, Smoke knew Mute was avoiding sharing how he felt out of habit. It would just take some coaxing, he'd done this hundreds of times before, and Mute would feel comfortable enough to share. It was just one of his quirks, and he didn't mind it too much.

‘She wanted to call, but we needed to go to the store and as you can tell, nature said fuck us. She's hopping in the shower and finishing up her schoolwork.’

Alright, maybe there wouldn't have to be a lot of coaxing, given that he's already double texting. Smoke knew Mute inside and out, each one of his tells and habits.

‘remind her i always got my phone on me. service might be wonky but she can call/text me any time she wants’

‘I'm sure she knows, she just wants to seem more like an adult and be tough. Teenagers and all that.’

‘reminds me of a certain bloke i know’

‘...Thanks James.’

‘only muckin about. just hurts to not see my dear marky not head over heels and ready to confess his undying love for me, even over text’

‘Oh shut up.’

There was a bit of silence, and Smoke knew to let it hang there for a bit, as much as he wanted to reply again.

‘I love you, dumbass. Happy now?’

Oh yes was Smoke happy, he was smiling like an absolute oaf underneath his gas mask. He was glad he had it on for now, even if it did make the screen a little hazy. At least he didn't have to hold back his facial expressions.

‘that is the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, god just put a ring on me now babe’

'You're making me want to make sure you never go to a jeweler.’

‘cmon you know you miss my sweet ass’

A pause for a minute or so, before a short reply of:

‘A little bit.’

Smoke just snickered to himself, knowing Mute had to debate on whether to really admit it or not.

‘well i know i miss you a whole fucking lot. every little thing about you. you know how much it sucks sleeping on cots again? ALONE too? miss having my face pressed into a giant, personal space heater named mark chandar.’

Hopefully that'll make him give a bit. He was always cold through text, since he could catch any slip ups before sending. Mute didn't like having evidence of him going along with Smoke’s antics. He was very much a behind closed doors person.

‘And I miss the chemist that would kick me in the middle of the night if I didn't twist our legs together.’

Another low chuckle from himself, closing his eyes and just remembering what it felt like to be by Mute’s side again. It was tugging at him, the desire to go back home. To his family.

‘I think I miss him more than I'd like to admit.’

Smoke’s eyes stung a bit as he let his thoughts travel around, revolving around just how homesick he was. Genuinely he felt like he was going to cry, it was a strong and sudden urge. Who knew Mute’s blunt words still held weight through text, instead of coming off as bland and disinterested.

'mark i really want to go home.’

There was absolutely no hesitation in the next text from Mute.

‘I know. I want you back here, too.’

That set Smoke off, tears falling down his face, his puffy red eyes thankfully hidden. The only thing that kept him from responding to Mute with a disgustingly heartfelt message, was Valkyrie trying to get everyone's attention.

“Great news, everyone! Six left us a message and said we are set to head home tomorrow morning!” The four of them cheered, with Clash yelling a grand “Fuck yeah!” Smoke kept quiet, too busy being overcome by what all this meant. The timing was all too perfect, with him finally complaining about how he just wanted to go. And now he really did get to go.

He wasn't going to tell Mute that, though.

#i tried to wrap things up but it just kinda felt odd #so it's now a 2 chapter thing #still feels kinda odd but whatever #also i cant remember who came up with the name charlie for smoke's daughter but thank you so much i love it #smoke cares about two things: mute and his daughter #r6s #rainbow six siege #rainbow 6 siege #smoke r6s #mute r6s #smoke/mute #smoke #mute

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you-andthebottlemen · 5 years

Text

61 - Glasgow song fic

Hi everyone!! I know the catfish fic scene here is kind of dead but this is for those of you still out there. A short but sweet fic for a short but sweet song! I hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading (and waiting for me to finally post and fill this request!!) E x

Based on the requests:

could you maybe do a fan fictions based around the song Glasgow? I love your writing! x

from @smotherme-inlippy

Cheating on your boyfriend with Van?

for anonymous.

(Fun fact: I’ve actually been to Sauchiehall Street and went there for a night out! And I totally didn’t imagine that I was going all the same places Van had been....)

************************************************************************

You knew you shouldn’t be seeing Van, but you just couldn’t help yourself. There had always been something so magnetic about him. You’d slept together a few times and had a bit of a reputation as a pair. Though despite your nights together, there were never any real feelings. Maybe that’s what drew you to him the most? You could be yourself and not be burdened by the responsibilities, expectations and everything else ‘being in love’ entailed. You could go months without seeing him or talking but always have things fall right back into place. There was no stress or drama or pressure with him like there was with everyone else. You needed fun and chaos and there was no one better for that than Van McCann.

“What time do ya’ call this, y/n?!” Van joked as you slid onto the stool beside him, his face lit up with happiness.

His hair was longer than when you last saw him. The ends flicked up under his ears as if they were desperate to grow into a proper curl.

“Fashionably late,” you winked.

Van just chuckled and ordered you a drink as he had already started.

The bar was lively as always, packed with every type of person you could imagine. It was dimly lit with the walls covered in posters and neon signs, old rock music pulsating all around you. It was your favourite bar on all of Sauchiehall Street. And you’d tried them all to be sure. You loved when Van was touring in Scotland or just had time off to come see you and traipse your way down the strip of bars.

Just as you placed your phone and bag down on the table, a text flashed from Alex; your boyfriend. Kind of boyfriend. It wasn’t something serious with him, but serious enough that you knew you shouldn’t be drinking alone with Van. Though one glance up into his blue eyes swimming with excitement, was all you needed and you put your phone away. You didn’t want to think about Alex tonight, his clinginess suffocated you and his sickly sweetness turned you off.

You and Van caught up on life since you’d last seen each other. He told you about the band and what countries they’d visited as well as all plans for the next album; the usual. As much as you wanted to make fun of him for always going on about Catfish, you just couldn’t bring yourself to. You loved how proud he was of it all.

He asked about you too, so you told him about Alex. Van’s expression remained the same, so you weren’t able to tell if he was disappointed or relieved that you were seeing someone. You also weren’t sure you should have brought it up.

“Have you been seeing anyone?” you asked Van curiously.

“There was one girl for a little while…but it didn’t work and I didn’t really try to be honest. So, no. Single as a flamingo,” he replied, trying hard to rhyme the last part and looking far too pleased with himself.

“What? Single as a…flamingo?” you laughed, raising one eyebrow.

“Somethin’ Bond said,” Van shrugged and you shook your head in amusement.

Soon the conversation fell on how Alex was endlessly worried about Van; to the point he would scroll through your phone while you were in the shower trying to find evidence of betrayal. It bothered him how people would always ask you where Van was, how close you looked in photos or how all your best stories featured Van somewhere in the plot. It was toxic and you knew it, but you didn’t have the energy to fight or leave; Alex was just something to fill the time and fill the space in your bed. He was alright and it wasn’t like you were in love with him anyway.

“You gotta break up with him y/n, can’t be with someone who don’t trust ya.”

Not letting slip that you hadn’t told Alex you were here and that he had every reason not to trust you, you just groaned and gulped down your second drink.

“Let’s get shots!” you decided, breaking the awkward silence.

You and Van counted down each time you took a shot, always laughing at each other’s twisted facial expressions from the taste of the liquor and the inevitable throat burn. Van’s proper smile, the one he always tried to hide, all wonky teeth and smile lines made you smile even wider.

“I’m glad that you’re home,” you admitted.

You forgot for a moment that this wasn’t Van’s home, but that’s not really what you meant anyway. You meant you were glad he was back here with you.

“Getting’ sappy are we y/n?” he teased.

You play elbowed him then with a laugh, Van stood and held his hand out to you.

“Wanna dance?”

You grinned and nodded then let him twirl you over to the makeshift dancefloor. Standing upright made you realise just how drunk you were. The room was spinning, time was moving fast yet slow and you were convinced it was only you and Van left in the whole wide world and that was completely okay with you.

The music wasn’t the best rhythm for dancing to but that didn’t stop you. Van wiggled his hips out of beat and waved his arms around, making you giggle and try to move along with his timing. Soon your hands found the front of his soft velvet jacket. You ran your fingers over the fabric and pulled gently. Van’s hands moved to your waist and you shut your eyes.

It felt like when you opened your eyes again, you were sat back on the bar stool beside Van, singing a loud and drunken duet to no one in particular. You couldn’t remember where time had gone or what had happened in between the dancing and now. A sign of too much alcohol, though you didn’t stop to worry.

You stopped singing and glanced over at Van who was belting out words and had his arms lifted up into the air. You burst out laughing, realising that the bar was in fact empty except for the few staff members cleaning up. They’d locked up but let you stay, probably thoroughly entertained. This was not the first time it had happened either and you had a suspicion that they must have known who Van was.

Once you had downed some water, said your thanks and goodbyes, you pulled Van out the door and into the night down Sauchiehall Street. He draped his jacket over you and slung an arm around your shoulders. You wriggled your arms into the jacket, grateful for the warmth and shoved your hands into the pockets, shielding them from the cold.

The usually loud and bustling street filled with clubs and bars and takeaway shops was now eerily quiet. Quiet except for Van’s slurred singing and the clacks of your shoes on the concrete.

You stopped walking and took off your heels with a small yelp as your bare feet touched the cold ground.

“Here…” Van mumbled and picked you up bridal style with a bit of a groan.

“Getting old,” you teased and clung to his neck, your shoes in your hand hanging over his shoulder.

“I’m gonna be the coolest old man,” Van smiled, unafraid of ageing like most people you knew.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Gonna do music til I’m well old like my Grandad and all my grandkids are gonna be dead excited to come visit me all the time,” he replied, looking out into the night.

You laughed to yourself and rested your head against him.

Halfway up Sauchiehall Street, you told Van to put you down and have a break. He leant against a wall and had a smoke while you talked to him about anything and everything. You sat down cross legged on the pavement with your back against the bricks by his feet. When Van was finished smoking, he collapsed down beside you looking a little cold and worse for wear. You tried to give him back his jacket but he wouldn’t take it. Instead, he folded over and rested his head in your lap. You stroked his hair and kept talking.

“I love this,” you said, referring to your drunken nights with Van talking shit and being ridiculous.

“I think I’ve fallen in love with Glasgow,” Van replied dreamily.

Though what he really meant was that he’d fallen in love with you.

“Why?” you asked, naïve or rather willingly oblivious, to Van’s hidden admission.

“It’s beautiful and it’s fun and nowhere else is as good. I keep looking for better and I can’t find it.”

“But you’ve been all over the world?”

“Exactly.”

After a long silence, Van tried to sit up, his head clearly spinning. You took some of his weight and propped him up straight against the wall. He rubbed his eyes and sighed.

“Y/n…” he said with a strange tone that made your heart lurch, “I think I’m in love with you.”

Van’s eyes met yours.

“No, you’re not Van,” you sighed.

“I am y/n. I can’t get you out of my head, you’re all I think about,” he pushed, reaching out to take your hands.

You folded your arms to your chest.

“Don’t say that Van, don’t ruin this.”

“What? Ruin what?”

“Everything! Our friendship, our fun…we can hang out and forget everything else and just be us. I don’t want it to become complicated and weird,” you tried to explain, a little exasperated.

“It won’t ruin things,” Van replied.

You shut your eyes and groaned, pissed off. Why did he have to do this? You didn’t know what to say so you stood, put your shoes back on and took off Van’s jacket then threw it in his lap. He looked a little taken aback but said nothing.

“Let’s just go home. I’m too drunk to talk about this.”

You didn’t want to hurt him any more than you probably had, and you didn’t want to have a conversation that required thought when you were likely to not remember it tomorrow. You weren’t in love with Van. Part of you wished you were just to be able to make him feel better. Another part wished it because you knew you’d never find a better man. But you couldn’t make yourself feel it and you weren’t sure you wanted to.

Van walked by your side all the way back to your little house, both of you silent except for the sounds of Van’s lighter and deep breaths puffing on another cigarette.

By the time you arrived home, your frustration at Van had disappeared. You opened the gate careful not to make too much noise and unlocked the door just as quietly. Before you could step inside, Van reached out and stopped you.

“I’m sorry y/n,” Van said quietly.

“You don’t need to be sorry Van. I’m just…I guess I’m sorry too. I wish I could feel what you want me to.”

Van shook his head and pulled you into him. He held you tight and rocked side to side.

“I shouldn’t have said anything. I know what we have together, and I should have thought about it. Guess I was just really drunk.”

What Van said didn’t really sit right with you, though you decided to keep your mouth shut.

When you pulled away from Van’s grip, you looked into his face. Maybe it was the alcohol still floating around in your system, maybe it wasn’t, but you thought he looked kind of beautiful. For a moment, you were both still and just staring at one another. You knew then exactly how this was going to go.

Van’s lips crashed into yours with force and you melted under his touch. You let him scoop you up in his arms once again and carry you through the front door, kicking it shut behind him.

Once in the bedroom he placed you down and you threw off your shoes, wrapping your arms around his neck as you kissed him.

“I shouldn’t do this,” Van breathed into your neck.

You knew that Van, while being one for fun and promiscuity, wasn’t a homewrecker and still had strong morals. He was probably thinking about Alex, or the feelings he had for you, knowing that both of those would only cause you both more pain when the sun came up. You pushed those thoughts out of your mind too; you would work all that out tomorrow.

You kissed him again, showing him that you didn’t mind, that you wanted him. You could feel how much he wanted you too.

His hands reached under your top and pulled it off over your head. You undid his belt and trousers. Each action exciting you more until there was nothing left to take off. Van stopped for a moment and brushed some hair out of your face.

“You have me wrapped right round your finger, don’t you?” he chuckled, his voice breathy and rasping.

You weren’t sure what to respond with so began to kiss his neck. You ran your hands up and down his body and all thoughts of anything except the here and now, escaped your mind.

#catfish #catb #Catfish and the Bottlemen #van mccann #van #vanfic #van mccann fan fiction #van mccann fanfiction #catfish and the bottlemen fanfiction

45 notes · View notes

softspideys · 5 years

Text

Alone (Peter Parker x Stark!Reader)

summary: on the day of the funeral, you’re feeling more alone than ever. good thing your worst enemy peter parker is there to remind you that you’re not.

warnings: angst, ***MAJOR endgame spoilers!!!***

words: 2.9k

pairings: peter parker x stark!reader

a/n: yes more angst I’m SORRY. also another reminder that if you haven’t seen endgame still you should definitely not read this :^)

When Pepper came into your bedroom on the morning of your father’s funeral you were gone, but your window was open. She stuck her head out and found you sitting on the roof, your knees hugged to your chest.

“How long have you been up?” she asked quietly, her voice shattering the silence you’d grown accustomed to.

You shrugged. If you were being honest, you couldn’t remember the last time you slept. Every time you tried, you were faced with nightmares of that final battle, of your father’s wide, unseeing eyes boring into your own.

So what if humanity was saved? So what if everyone was back? So what if Thanos was gone? You didn’t care about any of it, not anymore. Not if it also meant your father was dead in exchange.

“Come eat some breakfast,” Pepper said.

“Not hungry.”

“At least come inside,” she said. “It’s cold.” It was almost summertime, but the nights and early mornings were still chilly. Not that you really felt it. Not that you really felt anything anymore.

But she sounded so tired, and you knew today was going to be just as hard for her as it was for you. So you relented, climbing back through your window. Pepper stepped back, watching as you landed less-than-gracefully before straightening up and facing her. She said nothing, reaching out and smoothing your hair. You thought maybe she was going to start crying or worse, hug you, but all she said was, “Try not to kill Peter Parker when you see him today, please.”

“No promises,” you said. She sighed.

“Everyone will be here soon. Finish getting ready, will you?”

You nodded. She squeezed your shoulder once before leaving you alone at last.

It wasn’t that you didn’t love your stepmother. You did, of course you did. She’d raised you like one of her own long before she and Tony ever got together. You were just having a hard time accepting the fact that she and Morgan were the only family you had left now, and they weren’t even 100% yours.

For as long as you could remember, it had been you and Tony against the world. After he took you in when your mother dropped you at his doorstep as a baby (only after a paternity test proved you were his, of course), it was rare to see him without you. You were at the press conference when he announced he was Iron Man. You went to every hearing, every charity gala, every party. You watched as he went from a consultant for S.H.I.E.L.D. to the leader of the Avengers. You kept him company in his workshop during the long, lonely nights when Pepper was gone and the group had splintered and no one else was there for him.

And now he was gone. And you were alone.

The sound of the front door opening, followed by muffled voices, broke you out of your trance. You looked over at your bed, where your plain, short-sleeved black dress was waiting for you.

When you went downstairs a few minutes later you were greeted by a crowd: Steve, Happy, Rhodey, Bucky, Banner, Clint, Thor, Sam, Nick Fury, Carol Danvers. According to Pepper, more people were coming: there was still Scott Lang, T’Challa, Dr. Strange, and Nebula, plus all of their families. Even Harley Keener had texted you to say he was making the trip up.

You knew it should’ve made you happy that your dad was loved and respected by so many people, but instead it just made you angry. Look at everyone you left behind.

No one really knew what to say to you, and you didn’t particularly feel like talking anyway, so you retreated back into the living room and sat on the couch with Morgan, watching her color. She wasn’t as sad as you and Pepper were; mostly just confused. In some ways that made it even worse.

There was another knock on the front door. Since you were closest and Pepper had her hands full in the kitchen, you got up and opened it. You immediately wished you hadn’t.

Peter and May Parker were standing on your porch, dressed in all black. She smiled when she saw you, but his jaw tightened, and even though his hands were in his pockets you could tell they were clenched into fists.

To say you and Peter despised each other was an understatement. You’d been competing for Tony’s attention since the day you met: you may have been his daughter, but Peter was the son he’d always wanted. He had an advantage and never failed to remind you of it.

You hated the bond they shared. You hated coming home and finding them tinkering away in Tony’s workshop. You hated when he stayed for dinner, or when your dad consulted him on a project over you. You hated his stupid smile and his know-it-all brain and how quickly and easily Tony grew to love him. You were so used to being the center of Tony’s world and now you had to share him with someone else, someone who barely even knew him. Peter, you assumed, hated you simply because you hated him. There was no reason for him to be jealous of you.

The worst part by far was how attractive he was. When you’d first met, he was nothing but a scrawny kid. But months of training with the Avengers, plus the natural wonders of puberty, had turned him into someone taller and muscular. It wasn’t fair that someone so annoying could also be so good-looking. You were never sure if you wanted to punch him or kiss him.

“Hello,” you said stiffly.

“Hi, honey,” May said, leaning in to give you a hug. For some reason you let her; May Parker just had that motherly effect on you. Peter, however, brushed by you without saying a word.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly as you stood aside to let her in. “He’s been like this with me, too.”

You doubted it, but nodded anyway. “It’s fine.” You shut the door and sat back on the couch next to your half-sister, listening vaguely to everyone talking in the kitchen.

“Wanna color?” Morgan offered. You looked at her paper. She was drawing a forest of some kind, all flowers and trees and wonky animals.

“No thanks.”

“Is it ’cause you’re sad?” she asked, rather bluntly. You blinked.

“What?”

“Mommy says you’re sad about Daddy,” she said without looking up from her drawing. “And that’s why you won’t do stuff with me anymore.”

For such a little kid, you forgot how perceptive she could be. Yup, definitely Tony Stark’s daughter. But was sad really the right word for it? Was there even a word to describe the empty, crushing feeling that sat on your chest day and night?

“Yeah,” you said finally. “I am sad.”

Morgan nodded thoughtfully. “Sorry you’re sad,” she said, pushing her drawing over to you. “You can have this, if you want. It’s one of my best ones.”

Despite everything, you smiled a little. “Thanks,” you said. “I love it.” And just for a second, things were better.

Then Pepper came into the room. “There you both are.” She paused, taking a deep breath. “It’s time to go say good-bye.”

* * *

You found yourself on the roof again, watching the sun set behind the trees. You knew you should be downstairs with everyone else, talking and reminiscing about your dad, but you just didn’t have the energy for that yet.

The ceremony was nice. You knew your dad probably would’ve joked about why no one was throwing a parade and lighting off fireworks in his honor, but he secretly would’ve liked it.

“You gonna jump?” a voice said. You turned.

Peter Parker was sticking his head out the window, looking up at you. You gritted your teeth, fixing your eyes back on the horizon. “No.”

“Hmm.” With annoying ease, he climbed out of your room and onto the roof, hoisting himself up to sit next to you. “Why aren’t you inside with everyone else?”

“I wanted to be alone,” you said coldly. You knew he got the hint but was ignoring it anyway, and that made you even angrier. “Why are you here? What do you even want?”

“You shouldn’t be by yourself,” he said simply.

“Yeah, well a lot of things that shouldn’t be happening currently are,” you snapped. “What’s one more thing?”

He rolled his eyes and you had to fight the urge to push him off the roof. He’d survive somehow, anyway. “Maybe I don’t want to be alone, did you ever think of that? Maybe I’m doing this for me, not you.”

You blinked, a little startled. “Where’s your aunt?”

“You kidding? It’s like Smother City with her.”

You had to admit he had a point there, thinking of Pepper and all she’d tried to do to get to you to talk about your feelings and “start the healing process.”

“Whatever,” you said finally. You ignored the smirk that flickered across his face, knowing he’d won.

To his credit, he did manage to sit in awkward silence with you for a few minutes. Then a breeze blew past and you rubbed your arms. “You cold?” he asked.

“No.” But of course, he was already taking off his suit jacket and thrusting it at you. “I told you I’m not cold.”

“Why were you rubbing your arms then?”

“I don’t know, it’s a free country?”

“Just take the jacket.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Take it!”

“I said I don’t want it!”

“Just take the fucking jacket!” Peter said loudly.

“For fuck’s sake.” You snatched it from him and pulled it on. “There, are you happy now?”

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Then go away!” you shouted. “No one’s making you be up here! I don’t want to talk to you! I don’t even know why you came up in the first place; you hate me!”

“Hate you?” he repeated. “I don’t hate you; I’m trying to be fucking nice to you. You’re the one who hates me. I don’t even know what I did.”

He sounded so tired, so defeated, and for some reason it made all the anger drain out of you. What was the point in fighting with him anymore? There was no one to impress anymore, no reason to beat him.

“You didn’t really do anything,” you said finally. “I’ve always just been . . . jealous, I guess.”

“Jealous? Of what, me?” He seemed genuinely surprised.

“Yeah, of you,” you said, annoyed. “You were like the son my dad always wanted. He loved you. You’re so smart and he always valued your opinion, sometimes over mine. And you’ve got these cool superpowers and I’m just . . . me. I never had to compete with anyone else for his attention before that, so I guess I just felt . . . threatened by you.”

Peter was facing you head-on now, wide-eyed. “That’s . . . that’s insane,” he said. “I mean, I know Mr. Stark and I got along really well and he became like a mentor to me, but . . . you’re his daughter. If anything, I was jealous of you.”

“Me,” you said incredulously.

“Uh, yeah,” Peter said. “He talked about you all the time. You meant the world to him. And you were there for everything, like when he became Iron Man and when the Avengers first formed. I was just that annoying new kid he found on YouTube who followed them everywhere.”

“You still are,” you muttered. To your surprise, he huffed out a laugh.

“Thanks. I guess it’s true, though. Bucky and Sam still barely give me the time of day. But you . . . you’re smart, and beautiful, and just like him. They all love and respect you. I’ve always been jealous of that.”

But you were still caught on one word. “Beautiful? You think I’m beautiful?”

It was dark, but you could see Peter’s cheeks flush. He looked up at the sky, drumming his fingers on his knees. “I—well—yeah, of course. Of course I do. Because you are.”

“Thank you,” you said, too stunned to even make a snarky comment. Since he was no longer looking at you, this gave you time to study him. He’d loosened his tie since the funeral, and you could see the fine muscles of his arms through his white dress shirt. His eyes were still red from crying earlier, but it didn’t look bad. His hair, which had been carefully gelled back earlier, was starting curl again. You liked it better that way.

When Peter spoke again, his voice was soft. “I never got to tell you how sorry I am.”

Your stomach dropped and you went back to staring at your knees. “You lost him too.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “But he wasn’t my dad. He was yours.”

For some reason his words made tears well up in your eyes, ones that you hastily brushed away. “It’s just hard,” you said finally. “Tony was the only thing in this world that was 100% mine. He was my dad. Even when there was nothing, there was me and him. And now it’s just me.” You bowed your head, struggling to keep your voice even. “And I’m so mad. I’m so mad he died and left me alone because now I’m gonna have to spend the rest of my life trying to figure out how to be without him.”

“You’re not alone, though,” Peter said. “Tell me you know that. Even aside from Pepper and Morgan, you have Happy, Rhodey, May . . . me . . . all of us. We might not be blood, but we’re your family.”

You nodded wordlessly. You were still crying, but the hot tears felt good pouring down your face and neck. You’d been holding them in for far too long.

“And I know you miss him,” Peter said. “I miss him too. We all do. And I’ll help you make sure no one forgets him.”

“Promise?”

“Swear on my life.” He held out his pinky. You choked out a laugh, locking it with your own.

“Thank you,” you said. For some reason, crying in front of Peter Parker didn’t make you feel as shitty as you thought. Instead you felt . . . understood.

You went to wipe your eyes, but Peter reached out and caught your hand before you could. You turned to look at him, opening your mouth to speak, but stopped when he reached out with his other hand and cupped your face.

Gently, he brushed the tears away with his thumb. Even after they were gone, he still left his hand there. You hadn’t realized how close he’d been sitting to you this whole time, but you didn’t pull away.

For a second neither of you spoke, just sizing each other up. You knew where this was heading and found that you didn’t mind, not at all. “Peter Parker,” you said quietly, “are you starting to like me?”

He rolled his eyes, but you caught a glimpse of affection in them. “I always liked you,” he mumbled before he leaned in and kissed you.

Part of you wondered if it was fucked up to be kissing a boy at your father’s funeral. The other part of you wondered why you hadn’t bothered to do this sooner. Peter let go of your hand and moved it to your waist, pulling you even closer to him, while you slid yours to the back of his neck, your fingers absently playing with the curls there. You felt him smile into it and realized you were smiling too.

“Hey!”

The two of you sprang apart, looking towards the window. Happy was glaring up at you. “Are you kidding me?” he demanded. “Everyone’s been looking for the both of you.”

“Tell them we’re up here,” you said, annoyed at being interrupted, while Peter squeaked out an apology.

Happy rolled his eyes, but even he didn’t have the heart to really be mad. “You should come down and be with everyone else.”

“We’ll be right there,” you said, raising your eyebrows.

He sighed, shaking his head. “Your dad called this whole thing ages ago, you know,” he said. “He’d be glad to know he was right.” With that, he left you and Peter alone again.

As soon as he was gone, you burst into giggles as Peter buried his head in your shoulder. “He scares the shit out of me already,” he complained. “And now he just caught me kissing Tony Stark’s daughter.”

“Those are the risks that come with being involved with me,” you said, shrugging.

“I guess I’m willing to take those risks,” Peter said with a grin that you found yourself returning. “Should we go inside?”

You stopped him before he could get up. “Can we stay for just a few more minutes?”

He nodded. “Sure. We can stay as long as you want.” He put his arm around you and you snuggled into his side, staring up at the stars. Silence fell between you again, but this time it wasn’t uncomfortable. It promised that you would have more time to talk later.

As you sat there, feeling Peter’s warmth from both his body and his jacket, you realized there was a lightness in your chest that hadn’t been there in weeks.

You would always miss Tony, and the pain of losing him was never going to go away. But you weren’t alone anymore. Not by a long shot.

300 notes · View notes

theycallmemoosey · 5 years

Text

Fight for Me

Dan and Phil x Reader (Platonic)

A/N: Here is a request that is long overdue! I don’t know how I feel about this or if I captured the boy’s personality very well, but it made me laugh. It may be because it’s currently 1am or if because I am a comedy genius (I’m really not). Anyways...enjoy! Moose :)

-----------------------------

“Hello?” You called out into what seemed like an empty house, “Anybody home?”

There was no answer, so you chucked your keys back into your bag and flung your shoes off carelessly, not caring where in the hallway they landed. You strolled down the hallway, looking in each of the rooms to see if you could spot the two boys you loved so dearly.

“Y/N!” Phil cried out in shock, clearly surprised that you were just wandering the house without either him or Dan realising, “How long have you been here?”

“Just came in” you pointed over your shoulder towards the front door, “You sounded surprised I was here”

“You didn’t text us so we weren’t expecting you”

“Oh. I thought I did. Must not have sent” you shrugged, heading into the kitchen to make yourself some toast.

“Y/N, is everything alright?” Phil asked as he followed you into the kitchen, “You seem…off”

“Off?” You repeated, your back turned to him.

“You didn’t tidy your shoes away when you came in…you didn’t text us to let you know you were coming and now you’re making toast”

“What, so now I’m not allowed to make toast?” You argued back, making Phil sigh.

“You know that’s not what I meant. You’re just not yourself, Y/N”

“I’m just having a bad day, that’s all” you threw over your shoulder as you started to butter your toast, throwing the knife into the sink when you were finished.

“Talk to me”

“About what?”

“Talk to me about whatever it is that is upsetting you,” he said softly, sitting down on the breakfast bar stool underneath the kitchen island, “What’s going on in that amazing little brain of yours?”

“I’m just stressed” you sighed heavily, “Work is killing me, my mum is on my back about getting married and giving her grandchildren, my grandfather is sick and I fear he may not be with us much longer and just to top it all off, my landlord wants me to leave the house as soon as possible so that she can sell it, which means that I have to move out and soon”

“I mean, I don’t blame you for feeling like this, Y/N. That’s a lot of stuff to be happening for such a gentle and caring person”

“You really think that?” You blushed, smiling as you muted away on your toast.

“Of course, I think you’re the most amazing-“

“There’s my favourite girl!” Dan smiled as he walked into the kitchen, his arms open wide as went to embrace you in a tight hug.

“Hey Dan” you smiled, squeezing him tightly as he kissed your forehead, “What you got there?”

Dan pulled away and looked down at his hand, which was carrying a bag of Gummy Bears, “Oh yeah, I heard you down here and thought you might like these, so I brought them downstairs with me to give to you. I wasn’t going to eat them”

“Oh, thank you so much” you smiled widely, taking the bag and putting it on the counter.

“Are you planning to stay for dinner, Y/N?” Phil asked, the frown on his face disappearing.

“If it’s not too much of a trouble. I thought that I would come and see you guys because it feels like forever since I last saw you guys”

“It was only a couple of days ago” Dan pointed out as he leant against the kitchen counter next to you.

“Regardless, I wanted to see you two. You never fail to make me happy”

“That means a lot to me, Y/N, thank you. How does Carbonara sound?” Phil smiled.

“Sounds great, thank you,” you said, stroking Phil’s arm in gratitude.

Dan cleared his throat to cut the award tension, “Y/N, want to come and play on the Xbox with me?”

“That sounds like the best plan right now” you groaned happily, almost skipping off towards the living room.

Phil stopped Dan before he left the kitchen, “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Going to the living room?”

“No, with Y/N”

“What about her?” Dan sounded confused.

“Dan, come on, you know I like her!”

“What?! No! I like her!”

“Well, we can’t both like her” Phil pointed out.

“Fine, then neither of us will like her”

“Fine” Phil agreed.

“Fine” Dan copied.

There was an awkward silence between the two of them before they quickly and suddenly snapped back to what they were previously doing.

—————————

“What did you think?” Dan smiled down at you after his favourite anime finished, only just noticing that you had fallen asleep slumped against his entire body, your head resting on his shoulder. He chuckled gently, shifting you gently so he could escape before picking you up, making sure the blanket was still draped over your sleeping form. Slowly, he made his way with you in his arms towards the spare bedroom that you all called your own. The boys often joked that you stayed round their house so often that it was if you already lived there. They dared think about how abandoned your own flat was.

“Hmm? What’s going on?” You hummed, Dan shushing you as he entered the spare room.

“You fell asleep, love”

“Oh” you yawned, “Thank you”

Dan smiled as he laid you down on the bed and you rolled over into a small ball. He grabbed the blanket from the end of the bed and covered you gently, seeing a faint smile creep onto your face as you dreamed.

“Night, Y/N” he whispered, stopping in the doorway when he heard a little voice.

“Night Danny”

—————————

You woke up to the smell of something frying and wandered into the kitchen.

“Morning gorgeous girl” Phil looked up from the frying pan, his hair all messy and his glasses slightly wonky.

“Hey Philly” you smiled, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, “What you cooking up there”

“Bacon and egg sandwiches” he smiled, throwing the food together messily on a plate, “Grubs up”

“Dear God are you amazing” you grinned widely, sitting on a stool in front of the breakfast bar as Phil served your favourite breakfast, “What’s the occasion?”

“Does there have to be one?” He shrugged, shoving the pan into the sink.

“Well, no…but you don’t usually do a full on breakfast unless something special is-“

“What, so I can’t make my favourite girl her favourite breakfast any day?”

“Don’t get me wrong” you mumbled with a mouth full of food, “I’m not complaining”

“No, but you are spraying” Phil laughed, tucking into his own breakfast as you slapped his arm jokingly.

“This is incredible” you complimented Phil, “What did you do differently?”

“Just put in an extra heaping of love”

“You softie” you teased as you finished your sandwich, “Thank you again. I’m just gonna have a shower and then head to work”

“I’ll clear up” he sighed happily, his stomach flipping when you squeezed his shoulders on the way out.

——————————

“Well…” you sighed as you walked into the front room where both of the boys were sat watching some anime, “Work has just called…I have the day off!”

“Aw, great” Phil smiled, scooting over on the sofa to make room for you. As you sat down, both boys stretched their arms up to rest them on the sofa behind you but ended up resting on one another, awkwardly flinching away from each other quickly when they realised they had failed.

“Are you two really just going to watch anime all day?” You huffed, always having found it a bit boring.

“Not if you don’t want to” Dan paused the TV, “What do you wanna do today?”

“Not sure. I feel like going to the cinema”

“But we’ve been to see every new movie!” Phil laughed.

“Ok…what about the arcade? Near the cinema?” You suggested.

“Sure. Sure, I can waste £100 right now” Dan groaned as he got up from the sofa, stretching his back out, “Let’s go”

The three of you headed towards the arcade, laughing on the walk towards the arcade.

“Oh look!” You cried when you arrived, “They’ve added a Mario Kart game!”

Dan chuckled, “You know, we also have it back at home. We didn’t have to come here and play it”

“Don’t be such a grump” you teased, hopping into the seat, “Who will be competing against me first?”

“Well, I need the toilet really bad so Dan can have first game” Phil wandered off, leaving Dan to slide into the seat next to you. You slotted in the two pound coins and the game began and immediately the competitiveness began. You started to push each other to distract one another.

“HA HA! I WIN! I WIN! IN YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACE HOWELL!!”

“Y/N, there are children here” Dan laughed, enjoying seeing you win.

“Maybe I should take over your gaming channel”

“You are such a sore winner” Dan chuckled, heading over to the next game, bumping into Phil halfway there, “You took your time”

“I ate bacon earlier…”

“Why would you do that? You know that bacon makes your stomach unhappy!” Dan whispered.

“It’s Y/N’s favourite breakfast” Phil sighed, rubbing his stomach in discomfort.

“Hey! Phil! Come and do this with me!”

“The 4D Machine?” Phil smiled, “Sounds good”

“Phil, are you sure? With the way your stomach is?” Dan warned, but Phil shrugged him off and headed into the 4D pod with you.

“Ohh!” You cried excitedly as Phil closed the door and paid the money, “They have a haunted house one! Let’s do that!”

“But you hate horror”

“It’s better than candy land” you retorted, choosing the haunted house section. And oh boy, you regretted it 10 seconds into it. You were constantly holding onto Phil’s hand in pure terror, although he did not find himself scared at all - just full of butterflies at the way you were gripping onto his hand and burying your head into his neck and chest. At one point, you screamed so loudly Phil found himself wrapping his arms around you and squeezing tightly.

You came out of the booth and met with Dan, who was standing across the booth on his phone. He smiled when he saw you come out of the booth, panting and smiling widely.

“How did it go?”

“Terrifying!” You laughed, “I love it, but I was holding on to Phil for the entire thing”

“Really?” Dan asked, his face washed with jealousy as he watched a very pleased Phil exit the booth, “Is that so?”

“Yeah, yeah it was so” you smiled, “Let’s do that!!”

The three of you continued to play all the games in the arcade until the store assistants had to force you out of the centre. You huffed as you looked chewed on one of the sweets you had won from the arcade.

“Why is it you spend so much money on so many games to win as many tickets as you possibly can, and yet you walk away with THE WORST prize. I mean…how many tickets did we win?”

“Like 5000?” Dan guessed, shrugging his jacket off to wrap around your shoulders as the evening had become cold.

“And what did we win?!” You gestured towards the sad collection of prizes in your backpack, “10 sweets, a key ring and what? A small figurine?”

“It will go well with our collection!” Phil smiled happily, having chosen the pocket-sized pop vinyl figure himself.

“I’m starved…how does Pizza sound for dinner?” You suggested.

“You staying again?” Phil asked.

“If that’s not a problem? I enjoy staying with you guys”

“No! No! No problem at all. We love having you at home” Dan smiled, taking your bag.

“Great, I’ll order the pizza,” you said, grabbing your phone and calling the local pizza place. Phil grabbed Dan and dragged him forward slightly, out of hearing range from you.

“Dan, I’m thinking about asking Y/N out on a date”

“What? No!” Dan said quickly, “I want to ask her out”

“You can’t be serious” Phil laughed, stopping when he realised Dan was, in fact, serious, “Oh you are…”

“I think she likes me too,” Dan said softly, looking over and smiling at you.

“No, no. She likes me. You should see the way that she acted around me in the 4D pod”

“Phil, don’t be ridiculous. She sees you as a brother. But I think I have a chance!”

“What makes you think that she doesn’t see YOU as a brother!” Phil argued. The two of them began to bicker at each other about who should be allowed to take you on a date but they were quickly interrupted when you skipped back over.

“Alright guys, Pizza’s-“

“Y/N WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME!” The boys asked in unison, making you step back in surprise.

“W-w-what?” You laughed breathily.

“Y/N, I really like you,” Dan said softly.

“And I really, REALLY like you” Phil added.

“I want to take you-“

“No” Phil interrupted Dan, “I want to-“

“You should go out with me, Y/N”

“No Y/N, you should-“

The two boys spoke and argued over each other as they tried to get your attention.

“BOYS! BOYS! STOP IT!” You shouted, making the two of them stop instantly, “Let me make this easy for you”

“And go out with me” Dan whispered.

“No me” Phil whispered even more quietly than Dan.

“Don’t start, Phil…” Dan warned, feeling frustrated.

“GUYS, I’M GAY!”

#dan howell #danisnotonfire #dan howell imagine #dan howell x reader #danisnotinteresting #danisnotonfire x reader #amazingphil #phil lester #Phil x reader #amazingphil x reader #Dan and Phil #amazingphanisnotonfire #phan #phandom #danandphilgames #danandphil imagine

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thewritewolf · 5 years

Text

Inseparable Chapter 16 - Akuma

A class field trip turns dangerous.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31

@ladynoirjuly2019

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

Feeling completely healthy again, Marinette knew she had no excuse to stay home today. No matter how much she wanted to when her alarm started blaring ten minutes before she had to be in the classroom. Despite waking up late, she managed to rush through the doors with a couple minutes to spare and only had to sacrifice breakfast to pull it off. Maybe Tikki would be willing to share her cookie stash to get her through until lunch.

She smiled and waved at the boys as she passed them. While Nino nodded to her, Adrien’s reaction surprised her. It was hard to tell, so she might have been imagining it, but there was a light blush at his cheeks as he looked away from her. Despite his uncharacteristic shyness, he managed to squeak out a greeting as she moved passed him. She exchanged a look with Alya, who seemed as surprised as Marinette was.

Otherwise, the day began as it normally did. Ms Bustier called attendance, they came to the front in pairs to say nice things to each other, and she began to tell them what they would be doing today.

“Now class, as you may remember, we have a field trip today at the wax museum. Keep in mind this is a reward for your good behavior and excellent progress on your projects - we expect you to stay well mannered while we are in the museum.” She slowly met the eyes of all her students, smiling warmly all the while. “Now, are there any questions?”

Immediately, a third of the class raised their hands.

“Yes, Alya?”

“Is it true that they’ve finished the akumas exhibit?”

Marinette smiled and shook her head. Of course that’s what Alya would be the most concerned about. Although… maybe looking over the old akumas would help with Marinette’s own project? Somehow? It was worth a shot at least.

“Yes, the final statues were added over the weekend. Now there is an entire section of the museum dedicated to all the akumas. Or at least all the akumas who they could obtain permission from the victims.” Ms Bustier looked at the others and slowly worked through the questions. Most weren’t too interesting to Marinette - where they were eating, when they were leaving, if they would be split into groups.

But then Kim asked, “Hey, wait a sec. Isn’t our boy Adrien among the dummies?”

There was a general murmuring among the class before Chloe loudly cut in, “Well duh. Of course he is! He is a celebrity, after all. The idea he wouldn’t be in the museum… Ridiculous!”

“Yeah?” Alya leaned forward to properly look at Chloe. “I take it you don’t have a statue in there?”

Chloe huffed and looked away. “I’m sure they are working on it. I send them plenty of messages about it, so they can’t have forgotten about it.”

“Is that true, Adrien?” Ms Bustier cut in before Chloe and Alya could keep going at it. Hesitantly, Adrien nodded. “Oh, that’s wonderful! We’ll make sure to visit it.” She addressed the rest of the class. “The bus will be here soon, so wait here and I’ll come and get you once it has arrived.”

Ms Bustier stepped out of the room. The quiet lasted for only a few moments before the din of a half dozen conversations started up. One of which was Nino talking to Adrien. Despite his attempt at a whisper, she could just barely overhear what he was saying.

“You okay, dude? Not excited to see your double?”

Adrien chuckled. “I see myself everywhere. It isn’t that great.” Marinette disagreed, but refrained from interrupting.

“Then what? Something seems on your mind.” He leaned a little closer and Marinette had to struggle to hear him. “Is it something to do with Mari? Don’t think I didn’t notice how you looked at her when she came in.”

His cheeks and ears reddened as he gently shoved Nino away, who was grinning all the while. Adrien glanced backwards and Marinette pretended to be completely engrossed by her phone.

“...Yeah, kinda. But I can’t really talk about it. If that’s okay, bro?”

“Totally. Want to listen to my latest playlist in the meantime?”

Marinette tuned out of the conversation and leaned back. Did she do something wrong? Is he feeling differently about her? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Beside her, someone cleared their throat. She looked at Alya, who had a predatory grin on her face. Clearly, she hadn’t been the only one to hear Nino.

“Girl, you need to spill-”

The classroom door opened and Ms Bustier entered the room. “Alright, everyone. The bus is here - it’s time to go!”

Alya glanced at Marinette, ‘we’ll talk later’ plain in her expression.

Marinette sighed, bracing herself for a long bus ride.

--------------------

“Girl, it’s obvious!” Alya exclaimed, pulling her into a half hug as they stepped off the bus.

“Yeah?” Marinette replied. It didn’t seem obvious at all to her.

“That was Grade A romantic fodder you two went through last night. It was only a matter of time before he woke up and realized what a catch you are, and boom! It happened all in one fell swoop.”

“I don’t know… What if he is just uncomfortable at how close we got?”

“Girl.” Alya stared at her in disbelief. “I’ve watched you fall to pieces in front of that boy for over a year now. I know what it looks like, even if he has a little bit more composure than you do.”

“Great, thanks…” she grumbled.

“Seriously! This is a good thing. And I’m going to prove it.” Before Marinette could ask how, Alya was dragging her by the arm towards the front of the column of students before stopped next to Nino. “Hey, babe. Mind if we tag along with you two today?”

“Sure, no problemo!”

As Alya hooked her arm through Nino’s, she looked back towards Marinette and nudged her head over towards Adrien. She took a deep breath and slide up next to him.

“H-hey!”

“Oh! Um, hi.” He smiled a bit too wide to be at ease. “So, uh… what statues are you planning to look at?”

Yours, in all its beautiful glory. Instead of that, she said, “I was thinking we could go to the akumas exhibit?”

There was a touch of panic in his eyes as he looked at her. “W-why that exhibit specifically?”

She tilted her head curiously at him. “Our… project?”

He laughed nervously. “Oh. Right.”

There was an awkward silence between them, one she couldn’t figure out how to break. Once inside the museum, their class split off into smaller groups. After stopping at a few places along the way, Alya and Nino surreptitiously broke away from Marinette and Adrien. While she appreciated what Alya was trying to do, she really missed the support, especially with Adrien acting weird like this. They entered the room housing all the akuma statues.

For a moment, she was overcome with the monument to her and Chat Noir’s victories. The pedestal in the middle, with Queen Bee, Rena Rouge, and Carapace on the first tier, with a Ladybug and Chat Noir statue raised above them on a podium. Surrounding that display was alcoves with dozens of akumatized victims. It was easy to forget just how many varied akumas they’d beaten over the course of the last year, how much they had overcome. It had felt like such a short time, but also as if they had been fighting forever now.

She looked back at Adrien to see a similar expression of awe on his face. She could only imagine what it must be like for civilians like him to see this. In the middle of her musing, she noticed that he was staring at one statue in particular - Ladybug. Gazing up at her alter ego with all the affection in the world. The realization brought a blush to her face and made her heart flutter. And of course Adrien chose that moment to look back at her.

The same expression he’d been wearing as he stared at the Ladybug statue was now pointed directly at her. He bit his lower lip and turned to face her. Something was clearly on his mind.

“Marinette, I-”

He was cut off by a screaming from somewhere else in the building. The words were lost in the echoing, but Marinette’s phone went off mere moments later. It was an update from the Ladyblog, followed swiftly by a text from Alya - there was an akuma. Just as she was absorbing that information, Adrien had taken her hand and starting running.

“Where are we going?!”

“There are some bathrooms over this way we can hide in while we wait for the akuma to be beaten,” he replied over his shoulder. Soon enough, they stood before the two bathrooms. She was working on an excuse to give him so they would enter different ones when he added, “We should each take a bathroom - make it less likely it will catch both of us.”

The logic was wonky, but she latched onto it, nodding furiously. Just before he ducked inside the bathroom, she caught his overshirt. He looked back at her questioningly.

“...Stay safe, okay?”

He smiled warmly at her, his confidence returned. “For you, boss? I’ll do my best.”

And just like that, the door closed behind him. She took a deep breath and entered the girls’ room.

“Tikki, spots on!”

#Miraculous Ladybug #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Adrien Agreste #Adrienette #Alya Cesaire #Nino Lahiffe #dj wifi #caline bustier #ml fanfiction #my writing #Inseparable #LadynoirJuly2019

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afreakingdork · 5 years

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A Crash Course in afreakingdork’s Kacchako Fanfiction

So this is mostly for me, but as of now (and has been for a few months) I have 21 different Kacchako works. I wanted to make a list of them with my feelings on them and the differences explored in each. I will put it under the cut in case you aren’t interested in a long post...

Note: I will be listing them in chronological order from date of completion (oldest to most recent)!

1. Challenge

Actually and technically my first Kacchako fanfiction. Shameless house party smut.

2. Building Blocks

My first full-blown story. A cute falling in love scenario. I’m proud of this as my first full fledged story, but I am not a fan of the weird present tense writing I decided to go with.

3. Virus

This story really is much less about Kacchako and more about my first desire to explore a character’s feelings. In this case, I wanted to explore a scenario where Katsuki has to question his own sanity considering how full of himself he is. Since so much of this story is absent of direct Kacchako vibes, I even tacked on a little epilogue just to give myself some shipping!

4. You Don't Care

By this point I really wanted to start exploring Ochako’s end of the spectrum, but what came out was this strange self-depreciating smut? I was not a fan of this, but I am a big proponent in not deleting stuff, so it still exists.

5. The Art of Seduction

Born of pure comedy of wanting to see how different character dynamics can work. A bit of a self-insert since I had written so many chapters of fanfiction at this point that I gave Ochako a role of doing something similar. I let her craft the story for me as a way to make amends for doing her dirty in the previous work.

From here on out, I typically go for a much stronger Ochako. I want to clarify that there is nothing necessarily wrong with the idea of writing self-depreciating sex or even relations just to help one forget bad things that have happened, but I just felt like Ochako is so much more than that.

6. Reunion

What I consider to be my Magnum Opus. I really wanted to tackle an extremely complex emotional subject matter and knew I had to do it with extreme caution and care. I will forever be proud of what I accomplished, regardless of the few negative reviews I’ve received.

7. Deceiving the Universe

To clear the air from the previous work. I jumped into a pure romantic comedy scenario. I also wanted to tackle a Katsuki that was a more open and willing participant while Ochako is the one being blindsided. Also also I wanted a Katsuki truly born of two fashion industry parents (a bit of Ouran Hitachiin twins if you will).

8. Explosive Crowd

Inspired by Record Store Day, I wanted to write a story about drummer Bakugou and Band Crew Uraraka~ I’ve always wanted to write a Jiromomo companion piece for this...

9. Love: Drenched in Pink

For the record, this was before I knew of Hori’-sensei’s original concept for Bakugou! I just independently wanted to write about a Bakugou that is hit with a ‘love potion’ type quirk and acted completely OOC in love. I ended up with this crack version where his real self is trapped inside. I didn’t realize it during the conception phase, but my editor helped me really straddle the line of whether or not Uraraka was taking advantage of Bakugou. It’s sad I hadn’t thought of it during conception, that she was in a position to do something like that...

10. Better Than Masturbation

My most popular fic and pure sexual delight. I wanted a sexual story that was really based in reality. This fic also marks me returning to the ‘greedy’ Ochako from You Don't Care, but in a way that I feel redeems myself of that previous story.

11. Face

If you noticed that the chapters were wonky, that’s because this was originally written as a one-shot. It was hands down too long to be one (it’s longer than some of my early multi-chapters), but I am a huge fan of this story. One of my favorites.

12. Improvement List

Another character study on Bakugou. This time I wanted to play around with a Katsuki that never truly grew after his time at UA. I had to insert OCs to help progress this future fic along and to this day I’m not sure how I feel about that... I also feel bad that Ochako is largely absent, but it was necessary to have Katsuki grow on his own and not for someone else.

13. Wrapped Up

Inspiried by a tumblr post, a fun little romp in a friendly co-worker type future fic.

14. Heat & Traveling Water

The beginning of Kacchako Week 2019. I landed on a bit of a 50/50 satisfaction rate on these. I feel like for some of the fics, like this one for example, I didn’t have much of an original idea and my homages ride close to straight copies where I just insert different characters.

15. Routines & Coincidences

In the Kacchako Week 2019 split, this is on the better side. An idea that really took shape thanks to my editor! Purely domestic sweetness with a surprise ending.

16. He & She

I test out the length of what fanfiction can be and, in my opinion, I wrote an art piece of pining. This story was a thousand needles in my heart to write and relatable to anyone who’s ever loved someone who didn’t love them back.

17. Texts & Contests

Kacchako Week 2019, an homage gone a bit too far. Not a huge fan of this one.

18. Potions & Departing

Have you ever been possessed to write a story? Hand’s down my favorite of all my Kacchako Week 2019 stories. I adore this fic and I really poured all my fantasy juices into it, when I’m not even that big on fantasy!

19. Hot Sauce & Eggs

The only homage that succeeded. This story took on a life of its own and I rewrote the ending multiple times. I am quite proud of this action packed buddy cop/robber story!

20. Onsens & Boyfriends

My most recent finished work. It started out as pure crack, but I eventually got the wheels moving on something I liked. Unfortunately something I liked meant basically me dropping as much Kacchako in favor of writing a story about abusive overbearing parents. Again, I don’t feel 100% comfortable with OCs propelling a story so it falls in a weird place for me.

21. Lies & Dragonflies

Unfinished and the break-out star of all my Kacchako Week 2019 fanfiction that even got me my first fanart! Why does it remain unfinished mind you? It’s because I’m not satisfied with what I’ve written past the first two chapters. Anything I tried to write after them ended up not feeling as strong, but as I’ve mentioned before I don’t like to just delete work. It feels like cheating. Also chapter 3 and on require the story being propelled by OCs which I famously don’t like. So here this story rests, in a grave while I am petrified to continue.

So what’s next?

Well I do want to finish Lies & Dragonflies because I also hate to leave work undone. At the same time I have the first chapter written on a sexual revolution story that center’s around Ochako. I’m not sure when I will continue, but I definitely plan on doing so.

#me #fanfiction #my fanfiction #kacchako #mha #my hero academia #bakuraka #bnha

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bifrostbookreviews · 6 years

Text

How to Read 200 Books in 1 Year

Trust me, I’m a Professional

Note: this picture does not include every book I read, it’s just how many bookmarks I filled up in 2018.

Post below the Cut for Brevity:

So, I read 200 books in 2018. It was my third attempt to do so; in 2016 I read ~150, in 2017 I read ~110, and this year, come hell or high water, I was going to finish this stupid challenge so I’d never have to attempt it again.

I want to start this post off by saying I absolutely do not recommend reading 200 books in one year. I felt the book hangover in the very fibers of my being. I had to cancel plans so I could get my reading done. At one point, I had some personal things going on so I didn’t read for ~3 weeks when I was already behind, ended up like 26 books behind schedule and Goodreads was telling me I had to read 5 books a week to catch up and I was absolutely freaking out. There were books I couldn’t fully enjoy because I was pushing myself so hard to get to the end that I couldn’t just stop and process and enjoy them. It was annoying and I’m personally never doing this again. If you are on the fence about trying to do a challenge like this... don’t. Or pick something more reasonable, like 100-150 books.

That said, this post is written for the hardcore book nerds like me, where the struggle doesn’t matter, you just want to be so over the top in your book nerdiness you’re gonna attempt 200 books anyway. It took me 3 solid attempts to be successful, and I’ve learned a lot about what to do. I want to impart this knowledge out there, so anyone else trying it can have a general guide on how to get this done.

Without further ado, here’s how to read 200 books in one year. These aren’t in particular order, they’re just written as they came to mind.

1. Understand what you’re getting into. This was the biggest mistake I made in the previous two years. There’s only 365 days in a year, and if you have 200 books to read, guess what? You basically have to finish a book every 2 days. You need to go in understanding that 3-4 hours of your day will be spent on uninterrupted reading every day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks in a row. That’s what it takes to pull this off, and the sooner you grasp that, the more successful you’ll be over all.

2. Read every genre / don’t read bad books / don’t be ashamed of short books / don’t avoid long books. I know this is a 4-in-1, but they all come down to the same thing: avoiding BOOK BURNOUT. I cannot stress this enough: do not go into this challenge thinking you’re only going to read books in one or two genres. You will drive yourself crazy. Even if in the past, you only read mysteries or you’re only here for YA, trust me when I tell you that you’ll get absolutely sick of your regular genre. Make sure you find books that are completely different from each other. Even if you don’t like them, it’s important to try and switch things up.

That said, don’t force yourself to slog through a book that you aren’t feeling. I give all of my books 50 pages to hook me, and if I’m not absolutely into it by then, I move on. I do this intentionally, because if I’m not enthralled, I become a slow, distracted reader, and then I fall behind, and then I’ll end up 2 weeks behind and it’s not even that I didn’t want to read, it’s that I didn’t want to read this one particular book. I will also sometimes give up at the halfway point and count them as read, because I gave them a solid chance and I’ve gleaned enough to write a Goodreads review about it and spent upwards of 3 hours on it.

I also want to talk about book length, as well. This also has a lot to do with pacing, which I’ll talk more about later so forgive me if this is wonky, but here goes. You need to read books that average a certain page limit. My personal reading limit is ~200 pages a day without inciting a major book hangover. This may be different for you, but it’s important that you become really familiar with where that boundary is, and pick books to read that are no more than twice your daily limit for your day to day reading. If you can muster 150 pages a day, then you should be reading ON AVERAGE books that are around 300 pages and finishing one every 2 days.

That said, one of my life-savers when I got behind was keeping a stack of novellas, poetry collections, and Goosebumps on hand. There are going to be days you’re too busy to read; you will need emergency books that only take half an hour of reading to get through.

By the same token, don’t discard long books. The Game of Thrones series actually got me out of a reading slump in 2018 despite each book having 1,000+ pages. I just didn’t try to read them in 2 days; instead I would read 30 pages a day on days where I had wiggle room or some extra time to pick at it. I recommend doing the same on books that you really want to read but can’t justify reading all at once, because otherwise, you’ll just wind up frustrated that you’re reading things you don’t want to be.

3. Befriend and support your local indy bookstore. Fair warning, I’m biased, but hear me out. When you’re trying to read 200 books in one year, you need a HUGE supply of books. You’re going to read new books, old books, books you’ve wanted to read for years and books you’ve never heard of before. You’re going to get books online, through friends, through the library, through thrift stores--everywhere. You will be a reading machine. Even if you own 200 books and you get rid of them as you go, you’re going to end the year owning more books than you started with--trust me. You may not know it yet, but you’re signing up for this.

If you have a local independent bookstore, go talk to the employees/owners there. Their job is not to go mark clearance, scan things, rearrange endcaps, and try as hard as possible to avoid you interrupting their daily work task, like it is at any big box retailer. Their job is to find you exactly what you want to read. They will be your Book Person. They will know what books are hot right now, they will have more recommendations than you know what to do with, if they have used books and do a trade in program their books will be cheaper than anything you find online, and if you reeeally get to know them they will probably throw in books - particularly pre-published galleys - for free (don’t tell them I said that). They also sell incredibly discounted books; at my store, specifically, we have a whole cart of books that are $1 each, and multiple bookcases of used hardcover books $3 each. It can be a lifesaver if you’re attempting this challenge on a budget.

4. Read on different formats. Research shows that the majority of people read faster on digital devices than they do on paper, but that their comprehension is cut in half. I’m sure right now you’re probably thinking “ok, you just said to support local bookstores; why are you telling me to read on Kindle? Amazon is evil.” First off, you can procure e-books through the websites of some indy bookstores (like mine), which supports us and which we greatly appreciate. Second of all, there’s a lot of books offered online that simply aren’t available in bookstores (ex Chuck Tingle novellas). And third, I DO NOT recommending doing ALL of your reading on e-readers; your comprehension is going to suffer. With all of that said, I personally read twice as fast on my Kindle than I do reading the physical copy of a book (I tested it). It’s something to keep in mind.

5. Keep a steady pace / accept that you’ll fall behind / DON’T BINGE READ! I touched on this earlier with book length, but it’s SO, SO important to maintain a steady pace. What I ended up doing - and wish I had done from the beginning - was on any given book, I’d see how many pages total it had and mark the exact halfway point. That was how far I had to read. The next day, I knew I had to read to the end. Rinse, lather, repeat.

So what happens when you have a couple off days and you don’t get your reading done and now you’re behind? Your first inclination, I can tell you from experience, will be to try and catch up. ‘I can read 400 pages in a day,’ you’ll scoff before eating an entire book like it’s no different from a Netflix binge watch. Now you’re caught up. Problem solved... except it’s not, because the next day, you’re not going to want to look at a book. You’ve won yourself a book hangover, and you’re going to wind up even more behind than you started.

This is the reason why it’s important to keep short books on hand. Instead of binge reading, maintain your pace. Read your short books when you’re behind. If there’s a book you have to give up on, use the day to get farther in whatever long book you’re reading. DO NOT try to jack your pace beyond your daily limit and tell yourself that you can binge read without consequences. You can do that when you’re not doing this challenge.

6. Use a focus app. So this is my final advice, and it was an absolute lifesaver. I honestly don’t think I would have been able to complete this challenge without the Forest app on my phone. There are other focus apps that work just as well, but that’s the one I use. The way the focus app works is that you set a timer and it blocks you from using your phone until the timer goes off. In the case of Forest, it plants a tree and any time you unlock your phone it gives you a message like “stop phlubbing!” or “get back to work!” If you complete the timer, it plants a tree in your forest. If you ignore the timer and go on Facebook, it plants a dead tree in your forest.

I used to be really addicted to my phone and I would waste so much time just scrolling through social media or sending random texts, w.e, but because of this app all of my distractions were eliminated and I was able to consistently eke out time for my reading. I normally set 45 minute timers and I would usually be done with my scheduled reading within 3 or 4 rounds. Honestly, even if you’re not trying this challenge, I still recommend a focus app. It’s just a game changer with anything you’re trying to get done.

So yeah, that’s all. If you’ve kept on till the end, thank you SO MUCH! I know this is the longest post EVER, but reading 200 books a year isn’t easy--and I’m talkative. Please let me know if you’re trying this challenge out, or if you’re trying another challenge! How many books are you reading this year? Have you tried this before? Let me know.

#bifrostbookreviews #booklr #bookblr #reading challenge #200 books #bookworm #bookaddict #new year #bookdragon #reading #read #literature

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rhetoricandlogic · 5 years

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B&N SFF ORIGINALS

“If at First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again,” by Zen Cho

/November 29, 2018 at 2:30 pm

Cover illustration and design by

Shirley Jackson

• Edited by Joel Cunningham

A hapless imugi is determined to attain the form of a full-fledged dragon and gain entry to the gates of heaven. For a long time, things don’t go well. Then, it meets a girl. The B&N Sci-Fi & Fantasy Blog presents an original short story by Campbell Award-nominated author Zen Cho.

You can also download this story for free to read on your Nook app or device.

If at First You Don’t Succeed, Try, Try Again By Zen Cho

The first thousand years.

It was time. Byam was as ready as it would ever be.

As a matter of fact, it had been ready to ascend some 300 years ago. But the laws of heaven cannot be defied. If you drop a stone, it will fall to the ground—it will not fly up to the sky. If you try to become a dragon before your thousandth birthday, you will fall flat on your face, and all the other spirits of the five elements will laugh at you.

These are the laws of heaven.

But Byam had been patient. Now it would be rewarded.

It slithered out of the lake it had occupied for the past 100 years. The western shore had recently been settled by humans, and the banks had become cluttered with humans’ usual mess – houses, cultivated fields, bits of pottery that poked Byam in the side.

But the eastern side was still reserved to beasts and spirits. There was plenty of space for an imugi to take off.

The mountains around the lake said hello to Byam. (It was always safer to be polite to an imugi, since you never knew when it might turn into a dragon.) The sky above them was a pure light blue, dotted with clouds like white jade.

Byam’s heart rose. It launched itself into the air, the sun warm on its back.

I deserve this. All those years studying in dank caves, chanting sutras, striving to understand the Way��

For the first half-millennium or so, Byam could be confident of finding the solitude necessary for study. But more recently, there seemed to be more and more humans everywhere.

Humans weren’t all bad. You couldn’t meditate your way through every doctrinal puzzle, and that was where monks proved useful. Of course, even the most enlightened monk was wont to be alarmed by the sudden appearance of a giant snake wanting to know what they thought of the Sage’s comments on water. Still, you could usually extract some guidance from them, once they stopped screaming.

But spending too much time near humans was risky. If one saw you during your ascension, that could ruin everything. Byam would have moved when the humans settled by the lake, if not for the ample supply of cows and pigs and goats in the area. (Byam had grown tired of seafood.)

It wasn’t always good to have such abundance close to hand, though. Byam had been studying extra hard for the past decade in preparation for its ascension. Just last month, it had been startled from a marathon meditation session by an enormous growl.

Byam had looked around wildly. For a moment it thought it had been set upon, maybe by a wicked imugi—the kind so embittered by failure it pretended not to care about the Way, or the cintamani, or even becoming a dragon. But there was no one around, only a few fish beating a hasty retreat.

Then, another growl. It was coming from Byam’s own stomach. Byam recollected that it hadn’t eaten in about five years.

Some imugi fasted to increase their spiritual powers. But when Byam tried to get back to meditating, it didn’t work. Its stomach kept making weird gurgling noises. All the fish had been scared off, so Byam popped out of the water, looking for a snack.

A herd of cows was grazing by the bank, as though they were waiting for Byam.

It only intended to eat one cow. It wanted to keep sharp for its ascension. Dragons probably didn’t eat much. All the dragons Byam had ever seen were svelte, with perfect scales, shining talons, silky beards.

Unfortunately Byam wasn’t a dragon yet. It was hungry, and the cows smelled so good. Byam had one, and then another, and then a third, telling itself each time that this cow would be the last. Before it knew it, almost the whole herd was gone.

Byam cringed remembering this, but then put the memory away. Today was the day that would change everything. After today, Byam would be transformed. It would have a wish-fulfilling gem of its own—the glorious cintamani, which manifested all desires, cured afflictions, purified souls and water alike.

So high up, the air was thin, and Byam had to work harder to keep afloat. The clouds brushed its face damply. And—Byam’s heart beat faster—wasn’t that winking light ahead the glitter of a jewel?

Byam turned for its last look at the earth as an imugi. The lake shone in the sun. It had been cold, and miserable, and lonely, full of venomous water snakes that bit Byam’s tail. Byam had been dying to get away from it.

But now, it felt a swell of affection. When it returned as a dragon, it would bless the lake. Fish would overflow its banks. The cows and pigs and goats would multiply beyond counting. The crops would spring out of the earth in their multitudes…

A thin screechy noise was coming from the lake. When Byam squinted, it saw a group of little creatures on the western bank. Humans.

One of them was shaking a fist at the sky. “Fuck you, imugi!”

“Oh shit,” said Byam.

“Yeah, I see you! You think you got away with it? Well, you thought wrong!”

Byam lunged upwards, but it was too late. Gravity set its teeth in its tail and tugged.

It wasn’t just one human shouting, it was all of them. A chorus of insults rose on the wind:

“Worm! Legless centipede! Son of a bitch! You look like fermented soybeans and you smell even worse!”

Byam strained every muscle, fighting the pull of the earth. If only it had hawk’s claws to grasp the clouds with, or stag’s antlers to pierce the sky…

But Byam wasn’t a dragon yet.

The last thing it heard as it plunged through the freezing waters of the lake was a human voice shrieking:

“Serves you right for eating our cows!”

The second thousand years

If you wanted to be a dragon, dumb perseverance wasn’t enough. You had to have a strategy.

Humans had proliferated, so Byam retreated to the ocean. It was harder to get texts in the sea, but technically you didn’t need texts to study the Way, since it was inherent in the order of all things. (Anyway, sometimes you could steal scriptures off a turtle on a pilgrimage, or go onshore to ransack a monastery.)

But you had to get out of the water in order to ascend. It was impossible to exclude the possibility of being seen by humans, even in the middle of the ocean. It didn’t seem to bother them that they couldn’t breathe underwater; they still launched themselves onto the waves on rickety assemblages of dismembered trees. It was as if they couldn’t wait to get on to their next lives.

That was fine. If Byam couldn’t depend on the absence of humans, it would use their presence to its advantage.

It was heaven’s will that Byam should have failed the last time; if heaven wasn’t ready to accept Byam, nothing could change that, no matter how diligently it studied or how much it longed to ascend.

As in all things, however, when it came to ascending, how you were seen mattered just as much as what you did. It hadn’t helped back then that the lake humans had named Byam for what it was: no dragon, but an imugi, a degraded being no better than the crawling beasts of the earth.

But if, as Byam flashed across the sky, a witness saw a dragon… that was another matter. Heaven wasn’t immune to the pressures of public perception. It would have to recognise Byam then.

The spirits of the wind and water were too hard to bluff; fish were too self-absorbed; and there was no hope of hoodwinking the sea dragons. But humans had bad eyesight, and a tendency to see things that weren’t there. Their capacity for self-deception was Byam’s best bet.

It chose a good point in the sky, high enough that it would have enough cloud matter to work with, but not so high that the humans wouldn’t be able to see it. Then it got to work.

It labored at night, using its head to push together masses of cloud and its tail to work the fine detail. Byam didn’t just want the design to look like a dragon. Byam wanted it to be beautiful—as beautiful as the dragon Byam was going to be.

Making the sculpture was harder than Byam expected. Cloud was an intransigent medium. Wisps kept drifting off when Byam wasn’t looking. It couldn’t get the horns straight, and the whiskers were wonky.

Sometimes Byam felt like giving up. How could it make a dragon when it didn’t even know how to be one?

To conquer self-doubt, it chanted the aphorisms of the wise:

Nobody becomes a dragon overnight.

Real dragons keep going.

A dragon is only an imugi that didn’t give up.

It took 100 years longer than Byam had anticipated before the cloud was finished.

It looked like a dragon, caught as it sped across the sky to its rightful place in the heavens. In moonlight it shone like mother of pearl. Under the sun it would glitter with all the colors of the rainbow.

As Byam put its final touches on the cloud, it felt both pride and a sense of anti-climax. Even loss. Soon Byam would ascend—and then what would happen to its creation? It would dissipate, or dissolve into rain, like any other cloud.

Byam managed to find a monk who knew about shipping routes and was willing to dish in exchange for not being eaten. And then it was ready. As dawn unfolded across the sky on an auspicious day, Byam took its position behind its dragon-cloud.

All it needed was a single human to look up and exclaim at what they saw. A fleet of merchant vessels was due to come this way. Among all those humans, there had to be one sailor with his eyes on the sky—a witness open to wonder, prepared to see a dragon rising to glory.

“Hey, captain,” said the lookout. “You see that?”

“What is it? A sail?”

“No.” The lookout squinted at the sky. “That cloud up there, look. The one with all the colors.”

“Oh wow!” said the captain. “Good spot! That’s something special, for sure. It’s a good omen!”

He clapped the lookout on the back, turning to the rest of the crew. “Great news, men! Heaven smiles upon us. Today is our day!”

Everyone was busy with preparations, but a dutiful cheer rose from the ship.

The lookout was still staring upwards.

“It’s an interesting shape,” he said thoughtfully. “Don’t you think it looks like a… ”

“Like what?” said the captain.

“Like, um… ” The look-out frowned, snapping his fingers. “What do you call them? Forget my own head next! It looks like a – it’s on the tip of my tongue. I’ve been at sea for too long. Like a, you know – ”

Byam couldn’t take it anymore.

“Dragon!” it wailed in agony.

An imugi has enormous lungs. Byam’s voice rolled across the sky like thunder, its breath scattering the clouds—and blowing its creation to shreds.

“Horse!” said the lookout triumphantly. “It looks like a horse!”

“No no no,” said Byam. It scrambled to reassemble its sculpture, but the cloud matter was already melting away upon the winds.

“Thunder from a clear sky!” said the captain. “Is that a good sign or a bad sign?”

The lookout frowned. “You’re too superstitious, captain – hey!” He perked up, snatching up a telescope. “Captain, there they are!”

Byam had been so focused on the first ship that it hadn’t seen the merchant fleet coming. Then it was too busy trying to salvage its dragon-cloud to pay attention to what was going on below.

It was distantly aware of fighting between the ships, of arrows flying, of the screams of sailors as they were struck down. But it was preoccupied by the enormity of what had happened to it—the loss of hundreds of years of steady, hopeful work.

It wasn’t too late. Byam could fix the cloud. Tomorrow it would try again—

“Ah,” said the pirate captain, looking up from the business of slaughter. “An imugi! It’s good luck after all. One last push, men! They can’t hold out for long!”

It would have been easier if Byam could tell itself the humans had sabotaged it out of spite. But it knew they hadn’t. As Byam tumbled out of the sky, it was the impartiality of their judgment that stung the most.

The third thousand years

Dragons enjoyed sharing advice about how they’d gotten where they were. They said it helped to visualise the success you desired.

“Envision yourself with those horns, those whiskers, three claws and a thumb, basking in the glow of your own cintamani,” urged the Dragon King of the East Sea in his popular memoir Sixty Thousand Records of a Floating Life. “Close your eyes. You are the master of the elements! A twitch of your whisker and the skies open. At your command, blessings – or vengeance – pour forth upon all creatures under heaven! Just imagine!”

When Byam was low at heart, it imagined.

It got fed up of the sea: turtles kept chasing it around, and whale song disrupted its sleep. It moved inland, and found a quiet cave where it could study the Way undisturbed. The cave didn’t smell great, but it meant Byam never had to go far for food, so long as it didn’t mind bat. (Byam came to mind bat.) Byam focused on the future.

This time, there would be no messing around with dragon-clouds. Byam had learned from its mistakes. There was no tricking heaven. This time it would present itself at the gates with its record of honest toil, and hope to be deemed worthy of admission.

It should have been nervous, but in fact it was calm as it prepared for what it hoped would be its final attempt. Certainty glowed in its stomach like a swallowed ember.

It had been a long time since Byam had left its cave, which it had chosen because it was up among the mountains, far from any human settlement. Still, Byam intended to minimise any chance of disaster. It was going to shoot straight for the skies, making sure it was exposed to the judgment of the world for as brief a time as possible.

But the brightness outside took it aback. Its eyes weren’t used to the sun’s glare anymore. When Byam raised its head, it got caught in a sort of horrible basket, full of whispering voices. A storm of ticklish green scraps whirled around it.

It reared back, hissing, before it recognised what had attacked it. Byam had forgotten about trees.

It leapt into the air, shaken. To have forgotten trees… Byam had not realised it had been so long.

Its unease faded as it rose ever higher. The crisp airs of heaven blew away disquiet. Ahead, the clouds glowed as though they reflected the light of the Way.

Leslie almost missed it.

She never usually did this kind of thing. She was indoorsy the way some people were outdoorsy, as attached to her sofa as others were to endorphins and bragging about their marathon times. She’d never thought of herself as someone who hiked.

But she hadn’t thought of herself as someone who’d fail her PhD, or get dumped by her boyfriend for her best friend. The past year had blown the bottom out of her ideas about herself.

She paused to drink some water and heave for breath. The view was spectacular. It seemed meaningless.

She was higher up than she’d thought. What if she took the wrong step? Would it hurt much to fall? Everyone would think it was an accident…

She shook herself, horrified. She wouldn’t do anything stupid, Leslie told herself. To distract herself, she took out her phone, but that proved a bad idea: this was the point at which she would have texted Jung-wook before.

She could take a selfie. That’s what people did when they went hiking, right? Posted proof they’d done it. She raised her phone, switching the camera to front-facing mode.

She saw a flash in the corner of the screen. It was sunlight glinting off scales.

Leslie’s mouth fell open. It wasn’t—it couldn’t be. She hadn’t even known they were found in America.

The camera went off. Leslie whirled around, but the sky was empty. It was nowhere to be seen.

But someone up there was looking out for Leslie after all, because when she looked back at her phone, she saw that she’d caught it. It was there. It had happened. There was Leslie, looking dopey with her red face and her hair a mess and her mouth half-open—and in the background, arced across the sky like a rainbow, was her miracle. Her own personal sign from heaven that things were going to be OK.

leshangry Nature is amazing! #imugi #이무기 #sighting #blessed #여행스타그램 #자연 #등산 #nature #hiking #wanderlust #gooutside #snakesofinstagram

The turning of the worm

“Dr. Han?” said the novice. “Yeah, her office is just through there.”

Sure enough, the name was inscribed on the door in the new script the humans used now: Dr Leslie Han. Byam’s nemesis.

Its most recent nemesis. If it had been only one offence, Byam wouldn’t even be here. It was the whole of Byam’s long miserable history with humans that had brought it to this point.

It made itself invisible and passed through the door.

The monk was sitting at a desk, frowning over a text. Byam was not good at distinguishing one human from another, but this particular human’s face was branded in its memory.

It felt a surge of relief.

Even with the supernatural powers accumulated in the course of three millennia of studying the Way, it had taken Byam a while to figure out how to shapeshift. The legs had been the most difficult part. Byam kept giving itself tiger feet, the kind dragons had.

It could have concealed the feet under its skirts, since no celestial fairy ever appeared in anything less than three layers of silk. But Byam wouldn’t have it. It was pathetic, this harking back to its stupid dreams. It had worked at the spell until the feet came right. If Byam wasn’t becoming a dragon, it would not lower itself to imitation. No part of it would bear any of the nine resemblances.

But there were consolations available to imugi who reconciled themselves to their fate. Like revenge.

The human was perhaps a little older than when Byam had last seen her. But she was still alive—alive enough to suffer when Byam devoured her.

Byam let its invisibility fall away. It spread its hands, the better to show off its magnificent sleeves.

It was the human’s job that had given Byam the idea. Leslie Han was an academic, which appeared to be a type of monk. Monks were the most relatable kind of human, for like imugi, they desired one thing most in life: to ascend to a higher plane of existence.

“Leslie,” crooned Byam in the dulcet tones of a celestial fairy. “How would you like to go to heaven?”

The monk screamed and fell out of her chair.

When nothing else happened, Byam floated over to the desk, peering down at the monk.

“What are you doing down there?” began Byam, but then the text the monk had been studying caught its eye.

“Oh my God, you’re – ” The monk rubbed her eyes. “I didn’t think celestial fairies descended anymore! Did you – were you offering to take me to heaven?”

Byam wasn’t listening. The monk had to repeat herself before it looked up from the book.

“This is a text on the Way,” said Byam. It looked around the monk’s office. There were rows and rows of books. Byam said slowly, “These are all about the Way.”

The monk looked puzzled. “No, they’re about astrophysics. I’m a researcher. I study the evolution of galaxies.”

Maybe Byam had been dumb enough to believe it might some day become a dragon, but it knew an exegesis of the Way when it saw one. There were hundreds of such books here—more commentaries than Byam had seen in one place in its entire lifetime.

It wasn’t going to repeat its mistakes. Ascension, transcendence, turning into a dragon—that wasn’t happening for Byam. Heaven had made that clear.

But you couldn’t study something for 3,000 years without becoming interested in it for its own sake.

“Tell me about your research,” said Byam.

“What you said just now,” said the monk. “Did you not – ”

Byam showed its teeth.

“My research!” said the monk. “Let me tell you about it.”

Byam had planned to eat the monk when she was done. But it turned out the evolution of galaxies was an extremely complicated matter. The monk had not explained even half of what Byam wanted to know by the time the moon rose.

The monk took out a glowing box and looked at it. “It’s so late!”

“Why did you stop?” said Byam.

“I need to sleep,” said the monk. She bent over the desk. Byam wondered if this was a good moment to eat her, but then the monk turned and held out a sheaf of paper.

“What is this?”

“Extra reading,” said the monk. “You can come back tomorrow if you’ve got questions. My office hours are 3 to 4 pm on Wednesdays and Thursdays.”

She paused, her eyes full of wonder. She was looking at Byam as though it was special.

“But you can come any time,” said the monk.

Byam did the reading. It went back again the next day. And the next.

It was easier to make sense of the texts with the monk’s help. Byam had never had anyone to talk to about the Way before. Its past visits with monks didn’t count—Leslie screamed much less than the others. She answered Byam’s questions as though she enjoyed them, whereas the others had always made it clear they couldn’t wait for Byam to leave.

“I like teaching,” she said, when Byam remarked upon this. “I’m surprised I’ve got anything to teach you, though. I’d’ve thought you’d know all this stuff already.”

“No,” said Byam. It looked down at the diagram Leslie was explaining for the third time. Byam still didn’t get it. But if there was one thing Byam was good at, it was trying again and again.

Well. That had been its greatest strength. Now, who knew?

“It’s OK,” said Leslie. “You know things I don’t.”

“Hm.” Byam wasn’t so sure.

Leslie touched its shoulder.

“It’s impressive,” she said. “That you’re so open to learning new things. If I were a celestial fairy, there’s no way I’d work so hard. I’d just lie around getting drunk and eating peaches all day.”

“You have a skewed image of the life of a celestial fairy,” said Byam.

But it did feel better. No one had ever called it hardworking before. It was a new experience, feeling validated. Byam found it liked it.

Studying with Leslie involved many new experiences. Leslie was a great proponent of what she called fresh air. She dragged Byam out of the office regularly so they could inhale as much of it as possible.

“But there’s air inside,” objected Byam.

“It’s not the same,” said Leslie. “Don’t you get a little stir-crazy when you haven’t seen the sun in a while?”

Byam remembered the shock of emerging from its cave for the first time in 800 years.

“Yes,” it admitted.

Leslie was particularly fond of hiking, which was like walking, only you did it up a hill. Byam enjoyed this. In the past 3,000 years it had seen more of the insides of mountains than their outsides, and it turned out the outsides were attractive at human eye-level.

The mountains were still polite to Byam, as though there were still a chance it might ever become a dragon. This hurt, but Byam squashed the feeling down. It had made its decision.

It was on one of their hikes that Leslie brought up the first time they met. They weren’t far off the peak when she stopped to look into the distance.

Byam hadn’t realised at first—things looked so different from human height—but it recognised the place before she spoke. Leslie was staring at the very mountain that had been Byam’s home for 800 years.

“It’s funny,” she said. “The last time I was here…”

Byam braced itself. I saw an imugi trying to ascend, she was going to say. It faceplanted on the side of a mountain, it was hilarious!

“I was standing here wishing I was dead,” said Leslie.

“What?”

“Not seriously,” said Leslie hastily. “I mean, I wouldn’t have done anything. I just wanted it to stop.”

“What did you want to stop?”

“Everything,” said Leslie. “I don’t know. I was young. I was having a hard time. It all felt too much to cope with.”

Humans lived for such a short time anyway, it had never occurred to Byam that they might want to hasten the end. “You don’t still…”

“Oh no. It was a while ago.” Leslie was still looking at Byam’s mountain. She smiled. “You know, I got a sign while I was up here.”

“A sign,” echoed Byam.

“It probably sounds stupid,” said Leslie. “But I saw an imugi. It made me think there might be hope. I started going to therapy. Finished my PhD. Things got better.”

“Good,” said Byam. It met Leslie’s eyes. She had never stopped looking at Byam as though it was special.

Leslie pressed her lips to Byam’s mouth.

Byam stayed still. It wasn’t sure what to do.

“Sorry. I’m sorry!” Leslie stepped back, looking panicked. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I thought maybe – of course we’re both women, but I thought maybe that didn’t matter to you guys. Or maybe you were even into – I was imagining things. This is so embarrassing. Oh God.”

Byam had questions. It picked just one to start with. “What were you doing? With the mouths, I mean.”

Leslie took a deep breath and blew it out. “Oh boy.” But the explanation proved to be straightforward.

“Oh, it was a mating overture,” said Byam.

“I – yeah, I guess you could put it that way,” said Leslie. “Listen, I’m sorry I even… I don’t want to have ruined everything. I care about you a lot, as a friend. Can we move on?”

“Yes,” Byam agreed. “Let’s try again.”

“Phew, I’m really glad you’re not – what?”

“I didn’t know what you were doing earlier,” explained Byam. “You should’ve said. But I’ll be better now I understand it.”

Leslie stared. Byam started to feel nervous.

“Do you not want to kiss?” it said.

“No,” said Leslie. “I mean, yes?”

She reached out tentatively. Byam squeezed her hand. It seemed to be the right thing to do, because Leslie smiled.

“OK,” she said.

After a while Byam moved into Leslie’s apartment. It had been spending the nights off the coast, but the waters by the city smelled of diesel and the noise from the ships made its sleep fitful. Leslie’s bed was a lot more comfortable than the watery deeps.

Living with her meant Byam had to be in celestial fairy form all the time, but it was used to it by now. At Leslie’s request, it turned down the heavenly glow.

“You don’t mind?” said Leslie. “Humans aren’t used to the halo.”

“Nah,” said Byam. “It’s not like I had the glow before.” It froze. “I mean… in heaven, everyone is illuminated, so you stop… noticing it?”

Fortunately, Leslie wasn’t listening. She had opened an envelope and was staring at the letter in dismay.

“He’s raising the rent again! Oh, you’re fucking kidding me.” She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “I need to get out of this city.”

“What is rent?” said Byam.

Which was how Byam ended up getting a job. Leslie tried to discourage it at first. Even once Byam wore her down and she admitted it would be helpful if Byam also paid “rent,” she seemed to think it was a problem that Byam was undocumented.

That was an explanation that took an extra long time. The magic to invent the necessary records was simple in comparison.

“‘Byam’,” said Leslie, studying its brand-new driver’s licence. “That’s an interesting choice.”

“It’s my name,” said Byam absently. It was busy magicking up an immunization history.

“That’s your name?” said Leslie. She touched the driver’s licence with reverent fingers. “Byam.”

She seemed unaccountably pleased. After a moment she said, “You never told me your name before.”

“Oh,” said Byam. Leslie was blushing. “You could have asked!”

Leslie shrugged. “I didn’t want to force it. I figured you’d tell me when you were ready.”

“It’s not because – I would’ve told you,” said Byam. “I just didn’t think of it. It’s not my real name.”

The light in Leslie’s face dimmed. “It’s not?”

“I mean, it’s the name I have,” said Byam. It should never have set off down this path. How was it going to explain about dragon-names—the noble, elegant styles, full of meaning and wit, conferred on dragons upon their ascension? Leslie didn’t even know Byam was an imugi. She thought Byam had already been admitted to the gates of heaven.

“I’m only a low-level attendant,” it said finally. “When I get promoted, I’ll be given a real name. One with a good meaning. Like ‘Establish Virtue,’ or ‘Jade Peak,’ or ‘Sunlit Cloud.’”

“Oh,” said Leslie. “I didn’t know you were working towards a promotion.” She hesitated. “When do you think you’ll get promoted?”

“In 10,000 years’ time,” said Byam. “Maybe.”

This was a personal joke. Leslie wasn’t meant to get it, and she did not. She only gave Byam a thoughtful look. She dropped a kiss on its forehead, just above its left eyebrow.

“I like ‘Byam,’” she said. “It suits you.”

They moved out of the city to the outskirts, where the rent was cheaper and they could have more space. Leslie got a cat, which avoided Byam but eventually stopped hissing at its approach. Leslie went running on the beach in the mornings while Byam swam.

She introduced Byam to those of her family who didn’t object to the fact that Byam appeared to be a woman. These did not include Leslie’s parents, but there was a sister named Jean, and a niece, Eun-hye, whom Byam taught physics.

Tutoring young humans in physics was Byam’s first job, but sometimes it forgot itself and taught students the Way, which was not helpful for exams. After a narrowly averted disaster with the bathroom in their new apartment, Byam took a plumbing course.

It turned out Byam was good at working with pipes—better, perhaps, than it had ever been at understanding the Way.

At night, Byam still dreamt of the past. Or rather, it dreamt of the future—the future as Byam had envisioned it, once upon a time. They were impossible, ecstatic dreams—dreams of scything through the clouds, raindrops clinging to its beard; dreams of chasing the cintamani through the sea, its whiskers floating on a warm current.

When Byam woke up, its face wet with salt-water, Leslie was always there.

Byam got home one night and knew something was wrong. It could tell from the shape of Leslie’s back. When she realised it was there, she raised her head, wiping her face and trying to smile.

“What happened?” said Byam.

“I’ve been – ” The words got stuck. Leslie cleared her throat. “I didn’t get tenure.”

Byam had learned enough about Leslie’s job by now to understand what this meant. Not getting tenure was worse than falling when you were almost at the gates of heaven. It sat down, appalled.

“Would you like me to eat the committee for you?” it suggested.

Leslie laughed. “No.” The syllable came out on a sob. She rubbed her eyes. “Thanks, baby, but that wouldn’t help.”

“What would help?”

“Nothing,” said Leslie. Then, in a wobbly voice, “A hug.”

Byam put its arms around Leslie, but it seemed poor comfort for the ruin of all her hopes. It felt Leslie underestimated the consolation she was likely to derive from the wholesale destruction of her enemies. But this was not the time to argue.

Byam remembered the roaring in its ears as it fell, the shock of meeting the ground.

“Sometimes,” it said, “you try really hard and it’s not enough. You put in all you’ve got and you still never get where you thought you were meant to be. But at least you tried. Some people never try. They resign themselves to bamboozling monks and devouring maidens for all eternity.”

“Doesn’t sound like a bad life,” said Leslie, with another of those ragged laughs. But she kissed Byam’s shoulder, to show that she didn’t think the life of a wicked imugi had any real appeal.

After Leslie cried some more, she said, “Is it worth it? The trying, I mean.”

Byam had to be honest. The only thing that could have made falling worse was if someone had tried to convince Byam it hadn’t sucked.

“I don’t know,” it said.

It could see the night sky through the windows. Usually the lights and pollution of the city blanked out the sky, but tonight there was a single star shining, like the cintamani did sometimes in Byam’s dreams.

“Maybe,” said Byam.

Leslie said, “Why aren’t you trying to become a dragon?”

Byam froze. “What?”

Leslie wriggled out of its arms and turned to face it. “Tell me you’re still working towards it and I’ll shut up.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Byam, terrified. “I’m a celestial fairy. What do dragons have to do with anything? They are far too noble and important to have anything to say to a lowly spirit like me –”

“Byam, I know you’re not a celestial fairy.”

“No, I am, I – ” But Byam swallowed its denials at the look on Leslie’s face. “What gave it away?”

“I don’t know much about celestial fairies,” said Leslie. “But I’m pretty sure they don’t talk about eating senior professors.”

Byam gave her a look of reproach. “I was trying to be helpful!”

“It wasn’t just that…”

“Have you told Jean and Eun-hye?” Byam bethought itself of the other creature that was important in their lives. “Did you tell the cat? Is that why it doesn’t like me?”

“I’ve told you, I can’t actually talk to the cat,” said Leslie. (Which was a blatant lie, because she did it all the time, though it was true they had strange conversations, generally at cross-purposes.) “I haven’t told anyone. But I couldn’t live with you for years and not know, Byam. I’m not completely stupid. I was hoping you’d eventually be comfortable enough to tell me yourself.”

Byam’s palms were damp. “Tell you what? ‘Oh yeah, Les, I should’ve mentioned, I’m not an exquisite fairy descended from heaven like you always thought. Actually I’m one of the eternal losers of the unseen world. Hope that’s OK!'”

“Hey, forgive me for trying to be sensitive!” snapped Leslie. “I don’t care what you are, Byam. I know who you are. That’s all that matters to me.”

“Who I am?” said Byam. It was like a rock had lodged inside its throat. It was hard to speak past it. “An imugi, you mean. An earthworm with a dream.”

“An imugi changed my life,” said Leslie. “Don’t talk them down.”

Though it was incredible, it seemed it was true she didn’t mind, and wasn’t about to dump Byam for being the embodiment of pathetic failure.

“I just wish you’d trusted me,” she said.

Her eyes were tender, and worried, and red. They reminded Byam that it was Leslie who had just come crashing down to earth.

Byam clasped its hands to keep them from shaking. It took a deep breath. “I’m not a very good girlfriend.”

Leslie understood what it was trying to say. She put her arm around Byam.

“Sometimes,” she said. “Mostly you do OK.”

“I wasn’t good at being an imugi either,” said Byam. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It wasn’t like the name. This, I didn’t want you to know.”

“Why not?”

“If you’re an imugi, everyone knows you’ve failed,” explained Byam. “It’s like wearing a sign all the time saying ‘I’ve been denied tenure.'”

This proved a bad comparison to make. Leslie winced.

“Sorry,” said Byam. It paused. “It hurts. Knowing it wasn’t enough, even when you gave it the best of yourself. But you get over it.”

You get used to being a failure. It was too early to tell her that. Maybe Leslie would be lucky. Maybe she’d never have the chance to get used to it.

Leslie looked like she was thinking of saying something, but she changed her mind. She squeezed Byam’s knee.

“I’m thinking of going into industry,” said Leslie.

Byam had no idea what she meant.

“You would be great at that,” it said, meaning it.

It turned out Byam was right: Leslie was great at working in industry, and her success meant they could move into a bigger place, near Leslie’s sister. This worked out well—after Jean’s divorce, they helped out with Eun-hye, who perplexed Byam by declaring it her favourite aunt.

A mere 10 years after Leslie had been denied tenure, she was saying it had been a blessing in disguise: “I would never have known there was a world outside academia.”

They had stopped talking about dragons by then. Leslie had gotten over her fixation with them.

“I’m fixated?” she’d said. “You’re the one who worked for thousands of years – ”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Byam had said. When this didn’t work, it simply started vanishing whenever Leslie brought it up. Eventually, she stopped bringing it up.

Over time, she seemed to forget what Byam really was. Even Byam started to forget. When Leslie found her first white hair, Byam grew a few too, to make her feel better. Wrinkles were more challenging; it could never seem to get quite the right number. (“You look like a sage,” said Leslie, when she was done laughing at its first attempt. “I’m only 48!”)

Byam’s former life receded into insignificance, the thwarted yearning of its earlier days nearly effaced.

The years went by quickly.

Leslie didn’t talk much these days. It tired her, as everything tired her. She spent most of her time asleep, the rest looking out of the window. She didn’t often tell Byam what was going through her head.

So it was a surprise when she said, without precursor:

“Why does the yeouiju matter so much?”

It took a moment before Byam understood what she was talking about. It hadn’t thought of the cintamani in years. But then the surge of bitterness and longing was as fresh as ever, even in the midst of its grief.

“It’s in the name, isn’t it?” said Byam. “’The jewel that grants all wishes.’”

“Do you have a lot of wishes that need granting?”

Byam could think of some, but to tell Leslie about them would only distress her. It wasn’t like Leslie wanted to die.

Before, Byam had always thought that humans must be used to dying, since they did it all the time. But now it had got to know them better, it saw they had no idea how to deal with it.

This was unfortunate, because Byam didn’t know either.

“I guess I just always imagined I’d have one some day,” it said. It tried to remember what it had felt like before it had given up on becoming a dragon and acquiring its own cintamani. “It was like… if I didn’t have that hope, life would have no meaning.”

Leslie nodded. She was still gazing out of the window. “You should try again.”

“Let’s not worry about it now – ”

“You have thousands of years,” said Leslie. “You shouldn’t just give up.” She looked Byam in the eye. “Don’t you still want to be a dragon?”

Byam would have liked to say no. It was unfair of Leslie to awaken all these dormant feelings in it at a time when it already had too many feelings to contend with.

“Eun-hye should be here soon,” it said. Leslie’s niece was almost the same age Leslie had been when Byam had first come to her office with murder in its heart. Eun-hye had a child herself now, which still seemed implausible to Byam. “She’s bringing Sam, won’t that be nice?”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m an old person,” said Leslie, annoyed. “I’m dying, not decrepit. Come on, Byam. I thought repression was a human thing.”

“That shows how much you know,” said Byam. “When you’ve been a failure for 3,000 years, you get good at repressing things!”

“I’m just saying –”

“I don’t know why you’re – ” Byam scrubbed its face. “Am I not good enough as I am?”

“Of course you’re good enough,” said Leslie. “If you’re happy, then that’s fine. But you should know you can be anything you want to be. That’s all. I don’t want you to let fear hold you back.”

Byam was silent.

Leslie said, “I only want to know you’ll be OK after I’m dead.”

“I wish you’d stop saying that,” said Byam.

“I know.”

“I don’t want you to die.”

“I know.”

Byam laid its head on the bed. If it closed its eyes it could almost pretend they were home, with the cat snoozing on Leslie’s feet.

After a while it said, without opening its eyes, “What’s your next form going to be?”

“I don’t know,” said Leslie. “We don’t get told in advance.” She grinned. “Maybe I’ll be an imugi.”

“Don’t say such things,” said Byam, aghast. “You haven’t been that bad!”

This made Leslie laugh, which made her cough, so Byam called the nurse, and then Eun-hye came with her little boy, so there was no more talk of dragons, or cintamani, or reversing a pragmatic surrender to the inevitable.

That night the old dreams started again—the ones where Byam was a dragon. But they were a relief compared to the dreams it had been having lately.

It didn’t mention them to Leslie. She would only say, “I told you so.”

For a long moment after Byam woke, it was confused. The cintamani still hung in the air before it. Then it blinked and the orb revealed itself to be a lamp by the hospital bed.

Leslie was awake, her eyes on Byam. “Hey.”

Byam wiped the drool from its cheek, sitting up. “Do you want anything? Water, or – ”

“No,” said Leslie. Her voice was thin, a mere thread of sound. “I was just watching you sleep like a creeper.”

But then she paused. “There is something, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to.”

“If there’s anything I can give you,” said Byam, “you’ll get it.”

Still Leslie hesitated.

“Could I see you?” she said finally. “In your true form, I mean.”

There was a brief silence. Leslie said, “If you don’t want to…”

“No, it’s fine,” said Byam. “Are you sure you won’t be scared?”

Leslie nodded. “It’ll still be you.”

Byam looked around the room. There wasn’t enough space for its real form, so it would have to make more space. But that was a simple magic.

It hadn’t expected the sense of relief as it expanded into itself. It was as though for several decades it had been wearing shoes a size too small and had finally been allowed to take them off.

Leslie’s eyes were wide.

“Are you OK?” said Byam.

“Yes,” said Leslie, but she raised her hands to her face. Byam panicked, but before it could transform again, Leslie rubbed her eyes and said, “Don’t change back! I haven’t looked properly yet.”

Her eyes were wet. She studied Byam as though she was trying to imprint the sight onto her memory.

“I’d look better with legs,” said Byam shyly. “And antlers. And a bumpy forehead…”

“You’re beautiful.” Leslie touched Byam’s side. Her hand was warm. “It was you, wasn’t it? That day in the mountains.”

Byam shrank. It said, its heart in its mouth, “You knew?”

“I’ve known for a while.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Guess I was waiting for you to tell me.” Leslie gave Byam a half-smile. “You know me, I hate confrontation. Anything to avoid a fight.”

“I should have told you,” said Byam. “I wanted to, I just…” It had never been able to work out how to tell Leslie its original plan had been to devour her in an act of misdirected revenge.

Dumb, dumb, dumb. Byam could only blame itself for its failures.

“You should’ve told me.” But Leslie didn’t seem mad. Maybe she just didn’t have the energy for it anymore.

“I’m sorry,” said Byam. Leslie held out her hand and it slid closer, letting her run her hand over its scales. “How did you figure it out?”

Leslie shrugged. “It made sense. You were always there when I needed you.” She patted Byam gently. “Can I ask for one more thing?”

“Anything,” said Byam. It felt soft and sad, bursting at the seams with melancholy love.

“Promise me you won’t give up,” said Leslie. “Promise me you’ll keep trying.”

It was like going in for a kiss and getting slapped in the face. Byam went stiff, staring at Leslie in outrage. “That’s fighting dirty!”

“You said anything.”

Byam ducked its head, but it couldn’t see any way out.

“I couldn’t take it,” it said miserably, “not now, not after… I’m not brave enough to fail again.”

Leslie’s eyes were pitiless.

“I know you are,” she said.

One last time

They scattered Leslie’s ashes on the mountain where she had first seen Byam, which would have felt narcissistic if it hadn’t been Leslie’s own idea. When they were done, Byam said it wanted a moment alone.

No, it was all right, Eun-hye should stay with her mother. Byam was just going round the corner. It wanted to look at the landscape Leslie had loved.

Alone, it took off its clothes, folding them neatly and putting them on a stone. It shrugged off the constriction of the spell that had bound it for years.

It was like taking a deep breath of fresh air after coming up from the subway. For the first time Byam felt a rush of affection for its incomplete self—legless, hornless, orbless as it was. It had done the best it could.

Ascending was familiar, yet strange. Before, Byam had always striven to break free from the bonds of earth.

This time it was different. Byam seemed to be bringing the earth with it as it rose to meet the sky. Its grief did not fall away—it was closer than ever, a cheek laid against Byam’s own.

Everything was much simpler than Byam had thought. Heaven and earth were not so far apart, after all –

“Look, Sam,” said Eun-hye. She held her son up, pointing. “There’s an imugi going to heaven! Wow!”

The child’s small frowning face turned to the sky. Gravity dug its claws into Byam.

It was fruitless to resist. Still, Byam thrashed wildly, hurling itself upwards. Fighting the battle of its life, as though it had any chance of winning.

Leslie had believed in Byam. It had promised to be brave.

“Wow, it’s so pretty!” continued Eun-hye’s voice, much loved and incredibly unwelcome. “Your imo halmeoni loved imugi.”

Sam was young, but he already had very definite opinions.

“No,” he said distinctly.

“It’s good luck to see an imugi,” said Eun-hye. “Look, the imugi’s dancing!”

“No!” said Sam, in the weary tone he adopted when adults were being especially dense. “Not imugi. It’s a dragon.”

For the first time in Byam’s inglorious career, gravity surrendered. The resistance vanished abruptly. Byam bounced into the clouds like an arrow loosed from the bow.

“No, ippeuni,” Eun-hye was explaining. “Dragons are different. Dragons have horns like a cow, and legs and claws, and long beards like Santa…”

“Got horns,” said Sam.

Byam barely noticed the antlers, or the whiskers unfurling from its face, or the legs popping out along its body, each foot adorned with four gold-tipped claws.

Because there it was—the cintamani of its dreams, a matchless pearl falling through five-coloured clouds. It was like meeting a beloved friend in a crowd of strangers.

Byam rushed toward it, its legs (it had legs!) extended to catch the orb. It still half-believed it was going to miss, and that the whole thing would come crashing down around its ears, a ridiculous daydream after all.

But the cintamani dropped right in its paw. It was lit from the inside, slightly warm to the touch. It was perfect.

Byam only realised it was shedding tears when the clouds started weeping along. It must have looked strange from the ground, the storm descending suddenly out of a clear blue sky.

Eun-hye shrieked, covering Sam’s head. “We’ve got to find Byam imo!”

“It’s getting heavy,” said Jean. “The baby’ll get wet. Get Nathan to bring the car round. I’ll look for her.”

“No, I will.”

“I’ve got an umbrella!”

They were still fighting, far beneath Byam, as the palaces of heaven rose before it. Ranks of celestial fairies stood by the gate, waiting to welcome it.

They had waited thousands of years. They could wait a little longer. Byam turned back, thinking to stop the storm. Anything to avoid a fight.

But the rain was thinning already. Through the clouds, Byam could see the child leaning out of his mother’s arms, thwarting her attempts to keep him dry. He held his hands out to the rain, laughing.

With thanks to Miri Kim, Hana Lee, Perrin Lu, Kara Lee and Rachel Monte.

If at First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again

#Zen Cho #If at First You Don't Succeed #short story #long post

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