#Also yes I read all yall threads

[uroborosymphony]

"( That's the difference between Ara and Annie. Ara acts like a martyr. Annie is a SURVIVOR. )"

Quoting @stillresolved the line is a masterpiece.

Headcanon post or diary entry about the martyr complex and depersonalization that comes with it for Ara.

[good-griief]

losing game pt. 1

HEYYYY i'm actually back with a lil smutty angsty ellie fic bc i needed to write for this woman... anyway here's part one its only a lil angsty i just wanted an excuse to write rly gay smut so enjoy and p2 tmrw!!

as most of yall know any reader i write (as a poc writer) has no race, i just wanted to use a picture of taylor momsen bc i love tpr and that's definitely the vibe of the music in this fic

part two part three

read me click me

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Being in the rock scene was your dream. You started with small gigs, then small venues and festivals, and now you had a band to go along with your music. Your career was kicking off and it felt like heaven; every performance, every song, all the adrenaline made for some of the best nights of your life. 

When you picked your band, you hand-selected each member, and to say you picked your guitarist for any reason other than how pretty she was would be a lie. Yes, she was amazing, but you also couldn’t speak when she walked in for her interview. She just smiled, laughing at the way you stared at her before your manager started talking for you. He often did, she came to realize. 

She still accepted the moment you offered her the position, but she made it clear that she didn’t like your manager. She accepted for you; to be with you.

And she slowly became your favorite part of performing. You had this way of connecting with each other — of course, you were close with all of your band members, but she was different. You’d spend time together one-on-one, smoking a joint and talking about nothing until one of you had to force yourself to go. You’d get coffee together, have dinners, and even spend the night at each other’s apartments. Whenever someone asked about you two, you said you were best friends. Even when she was waiting for you at the end of the carpet, and you both laughed at your answer like it was some kind of inside joke. 

Even when you were onstage, on your knees, singing your most sensual song to her as she melted to your level, smirking as her hips thrust against the electric guitar. Sometimes, she even sang with you. You’d hold her face, or thread your fingers through her hair as you held eye contact or rested your forehead against hers with shut eyes, and if there was a break in the song you’d kiss her hard — a stage kiss that the crowd would erupt in cheers over. But they happened offstage, too… after a shared joint or during a party. Nothing more.

She’d let you place your fingers on the strings of her guitar to find the chords as you stood behind her, her head leaning back on your shoulder in a way that showed the muscles on her neck as she breathed in heavy, hot breaths. She let you wrap your hand around her throat, groaning in your ear as fans caught pictures of you dragging your tongue over her sweat-ridden jaw or biting her shoulder as she grinned. 

There was one night you let her take over the mic as you danced along. She played her guitar, singing and watching you until you sang with her. Your hands drifted down her thighs as you kneeled behind her, the crowd screaming as you lifted her shirt and came around to kiss the line of hair below her belly button. She smirked, stopping her playing and fisting your hair to pull your head back as you laughed. 

Nights when you’d take off your shirt, tossing it into the audience and pouring your water on yourself before she came to lick it up, tongue dragging over top of your breasts as you sang breathlessly. There were times she had to wrap her arm around your back to keep you standing when she did that, the action so intimate, so arousing, that it was hard to remember why you were on stage and not in your dressing room, alone with her. Some nights she’d take her shirt off and give it to you if she didn’t want anyone else to see you, smiling at you with her shirt on before you came over to kiss her cheek. 

There were moments with other band members, but none of them were like her. They didn’t make you feel the same — none of them were her. 

So, when the end of her contract came up and she talked to you about leaving to pursue other things, you were devastated. You didn’t think she’d leave, but after a talk with your manager, her decision was set. 

“I think you should,” you told her anyway. “Whatever makes you happy, Els, seriously. I’ll support whatever you do.” She smiled, taking your hand to kiss. On the inside of her fingers, and yours, you could see the matching tattoos you got months ago, threading your fingers together so they match up. 

You dedicated your last show with her to her. It was a surprise, and she cried when you said it in the beginning, but she just turned away to shake it off quickly. At least, she did until you started crying during a song you wrote for her — it was another surprise from you and the rest of the band, but the minute she saw you crying she couldn’t keep it together. She came over to hug you, kissing the top of your head as she let you hide your face in her chest. The crowd awed, but Ellie took the mic to say you’d be back. She set it down and lifted your head to make you look at her. “I love you, pretty girl,” she said, away from the microphone so no one heard her, but they could sound it out if they wanted to. “Please don’t cry.” She wiped beneath your eyes, ignoring the camera flashes and screams from the crowd. “I hate that I can’t do anything about it right now.”

You smiled. “I’m gonna miss you so much.” 

She laughed at you. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere.” She nodded to the microphone. “Finish my song, I wanna hear the rest.”

“You’re an idiot,” you said, now standing at the mic and making the audience laugh. 

You were such an idiot. 

She never told you what other things she wanted to pursue, but you should’ve known. 

Of-fucking-course she was pursuing her own music. Of-fucking-course she was starting her own band. With yours. Of-fucking-course all of their contracts ending over the course of a few months would amount to this. Of-fucking-course each last show you dedicated to them meant nothing. 

You couldn’t even be mad. It was smart. But you were beyond hurt. 

And she still dedicated her first show to you. She texted you herself, asking you to come. 

When would you learn your lesson?

“I just want to thank you guys for coming,” she said to an audience of mostly your fans. “You might know me — us — from a backup band, but we got a little tired of being backup, didn’t we?” The band laughed. “So, uh, my name’s Ellie if you don’t know… probably don’t,” she laughed as if you’d never thanked or introduced your band before. “And I just want to dedicate this show to the previous artist I worked with. I wouldn’t be here without her, so she means… a lot,” she said it so fucking snarky, “to me, and… I have a few songs for her… if you all wanna guess which ones they are.”

And her first song was the biggest Fuck You song you’d ever heard. 

Still, she texted you after the show. 

She didn’t ask you to come to another show, and maybe that was because you announced a break from music, or because she was getting so much attention that she didn’t care. You saw her at award shows sometimes, and she would cheer when you won. Of course, you’d cheer for her too, but it never went beyond that. Almost like it was an unspoken rule that you weren’t on speaking terms. 

But the minute you came back to the scene, almost a year later, she texted you for the first time since her first show. 

You didn’t reply at first. You hadn’t kept up with her at all during your break, your manager telling you to stay away from any of her and her band's promotions and interviews. He had you block all of them and their numbers, but you couldn’t bring yourself to block Ellie’s. And you were glad you didn’t. Usually, you didn’t have your phone on you until late at night, your manager having your assistant handle your messages and social media, but you were about to fall asleep when she texted. As if she remembered your schedule. 

And it prompted you to look her up. Then her and you, and you could see countless videos. 

every time ellie has mentioned “her” compilation was what you decided to click on. It was made by an account that was clearly a big fan of hers, so you readied yourself for any hate that’d be thrown your way. 

The first clip was an interview, asking her why she split from your team. “You know, I really loved her and her team,” she said, “still really love her. It’s just hard being reminded, constantly, that you're a stepping stone and your time is running low, you know? We might’ve held her back if we stayed, and she was moving on to better things,” it sounded like she was quoting someone else. “—I mean, she always wanted us to shine, and I’m so grateful for her. I really miss being on stage with her, but I don’t miss anything else besides her and I think that says a lot.” 

Another was on her way into a hotel, a reporter asking if you congratulated her on an award. You could remember seeing her at the show before your manager called you over just as she was walking your way. She laughed, “haven’t talked to her in months.” 

Another of a sit-down interview with the whole band, your name being brought up and Ellie snapping at them, “You know I really wish people would stop asking me about her.” She got choked up as the others answered, nose reddening when the question finally circled back to her. “We’re not friends, we don’t talk, she doesn’t want anything to do with us, so...” She shrugged, pissed off. 

The next was another interview. It seemed she was just having to get used to being asked about you. “I’ve tried to reach out,” she said, “maybe she changed her number.” 

Another. “She was my best friend, I miss her a lot. I hope she’s doing okay.” 

And another, asking about her songs. “Yeah, I wrote a lot about her — No, I don’t regret it. I feel like it reflects a moment in time, you know? It was a really nice moment — I mean, I still have our matching tattoos,” she laughed, showing the tattoos on the insides of her fingers. 

Another, after a show. She was always emotional after shows, and it made it harder to watch as she wiped her eyes when the interviewer asked what your relationship really was. “I don’t fucking know,” was her answer before she walked away. 

Some of them were sweet, memories you shared that made you laugh. Others made you sick with guilt, like when she mentioned your lack of response or you blocking the band. Some just made you sad. And you felt like an idiot for doing this, but after reading the comments, some defending you for not running your socials or phone, or angry with you for the same reason, you played a compilation of the two of you together from the same account. 

Then you called Ellie. 

It rang once before sending you to voicemail and you just hung up. You kept your attention on the video to distract yourself from how much that stung. 

But she called right back. 

You stared at the phone for a moment, seeing the contact poster of the two of you at her last show with you lighting up your screen and feeling your words get caught in your throat as your eyes stung. You grabbed the phone, answering quickly. “Ellie?” It was silent, “Ellie, I just wanted to say, I had no idea… I understand if you never want to talk to me again, but I—“ You cleared your throat, trying not to sound like you were about to cry. “I’m really sorry.”

“I thought — I didn’t think you were going to — It feels so good to hear your voice,” was what she settled on after stammering through a few sentences. “You have no idea how much I’ve, just, wanted to talk to you…”

You bit down on your lip as you listened to her. She didn’t sound angry, but she clearly had so much to say to you. Her voice was filled with feeling as she went on, trying to get everything out as if she thought you’d hang up the phone at any minute. You just listened, shutting your eyes and bringing your hand over your face as hot tears spilled down your cheeks. You couldn’t bring yourself to understand why you were so emotional, maybe it was the fact that you misunderstood her so easily, or that your manager had ruined your relationship with her, or maybe it was even that you were just getting to hear her talk after so long, but she paused the moment she heard you trying to calm your breathing. 

“Please don’t cry.” She already knew. “I hate it when you cry and I can’t do anything about it.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. “Keep talking. What were you saying?” You looked at your computer, auto-playing something else of the two of you. It was clips of you on stage and during interviews, heads on each other's shoulders, hugging, kissing each other’s cheeks, singing together. You pursed your lips, tears coming quicker as you slammed your laptop closed. “Ellie,” you cut her off, biting at your lip as you looked at the empty spot on your bed she used to take some nights, “what are you doing right now?” 

“I’m on my way,” she said quietly, and you could hear her shuffling on the other line. She was probably getting ready to go to sleep, and wake up to no response just like every other time she messaged you. And you would have woken up with no idea she even texted you. “Do you want me to stay on the phone?”

“If you’re already headed to sleep—“

“I’m coming over,” she said. “I’m already in the car, I’ll be there in ten, okay?”

“Okay…” Now you felt bad for making her leave her house, looking outside at the snowfall and sniffling as you tried to wipe your eyes. “I’ll see you soon.” You hung up the phone and groaned at yourself, shoving your head in your pillow. 

You opened your laptop, typing in the song names people speculated she wrote for you and queuing them all. Not one was the one you heard during her first show, and it made you feel even worse by the time the doorbell rang. You moved off of your bed, wiping your eyes and going to the door to buzz her up to your apartment. 

You waited by the door, balls of your feet kicking at the floor as you crossed your arms and waited for her to knock. It was the same rhythm she used to knock in, and where it usually made you smile, it made you cry more. God, you missed her, and you didn’t even realize how much until now. You took too long to open the door and you heard the lock click. She still had her set of keys, and that made you feel worse, too. She’d probably texted you about returning them, and you never got to see it. Nothing was making you feel better as she opened the door, and seeing her face just made it worse. 

“God,” she muttered, immediately bringing her arms around your waist. She tucked her head into your shoulder, shutting her eyes as your arms went around her shoulders. Her hands held you like you’d disappear the minute she let go, thumbs running soothingly back and forth over your shirt. “I missed you so much,” she said. “They all wanted me to get over it, but I knew there was no way — I knew we had something more than just — fuck, I know you better than they do. I know I do.” Her lips brushed your skin with every word. “I missed you so fucking much,” she repeated, hugging you tighter. 

Just her touch made your tears slow to a stop, relaxing into her hold and hugging her so tight, but she didn’t care. She was happy to be back in your arms. Your hand drifted to her hair, cradling her head to your shoulder. You could remember the nights you spent playing with her hair until you fell asleep and the thought made you run your fingers through it. She sighed, pulling her head back but refusing to let you go. 

There was a silence as you moved her hair out of her face, tucking the strands behind her ear. Slowly, your hand cupped her cold, flushed cheek. She leaned into your touch, eyes falling to your lips as your thumb stroked her cheek. 

“Ellie,” you muttered and she hummed, turning her head to kiss the inside of your palm. “I missed you, too,” was all you chose to say despite the wanting in the way you said her name. Her hand took yours as she kissed the inside of your wrist. “So much…” Her kisses trailed up your arm, with more of a meaning behind them than any of the kisses you’d given each other before. 

You moved your hand back to her face, turning her head toward you. She met your eyes, hers shining in the low light. They fell to your lips again and she leaned in, kissing your cheek. She kissed away every tear stain, still wet and warm. She moved closer and closer to your mouth, but never kissed you, kissing away the stains on your other cheek instead. 

Then you turned your head, catching her lips for a brief moment before she pulled back. There was a moment of hesitation, neither of you able to speak before she pressed her lips to yours. They were still cold from being out in the snow, but they warmed as you kissed her back, pressing your body impossibly closer to hers as she sighed into your mouth. She couldn’t tell you how long she had wanted this, but she knew it was long enough that her waiting for you was pathetic.

[moonystoes]

Who? - Elisa De Almeida x singer!reader

summary: when the public thinks y/n is dating a football player... a male player. Inspired by this

A/n: this shit made me wanna kms. i really thought social media au would be easier since it's not writing. but holy shit editing this was ass. also the fact that it took me around 10 hours yesterday only?? and 138 pictures. but lowkey... making fake beef and conversations was kinda fun lol.

warning: nothing, but this is the first time i made a social media au so it may be bad...and the quality of these screenshots are shit. also...I worked really hard editing the time of those screenshots (except the second one... i forgot) they will help you understand the timeline. I recommend reading this in white mode so the tweets can look smoother.

face claim :@itsouidad on instagram

y/nl/n

liked by ayanakamura_officiel, brahim, jackie_groenen_14, and 39,968 others

y/nl/n smiles and preparations, 2 days until I meet you guys 🫶(also happy new years lollll 😭😭)

احبكم كثيرررر 🩷🇶🇦

view all 7,983 comments

user1 IS THAT SOUQ WAQIF???? GUYS KILL ME SHE WAS RIGHT AROUND ME AND MY BLIND ASS DIDNT SEEEE 😭😭😭💔💔

user2 wait they allow women to not wear the scarf there?

↳ user3 @User2 girl what?? yes tf, get out of the propaganda ffs

ayanakamura_officiel ohh la laaa

↳ y/nl/n @Ayanakamura_officiel 💍 yes or no?

↳ user3 @y/nl/n lmfaoooo y/n keeps forgetting shes famous now

y/nbiggestfan awhhh how is it babee?

↳ y/nl/n @y/nbiggestfan everyone is so sweet and generous 🤧🥹🥹, i can't wait to meet yall

y/nupdates have fun sweetie!! enjoy it

↳ y/nl/n @y/nupdates thank you Emi 🫶

jackie_groenen_14

liked by elisadealmeida5, psg_feminines, and 13,622 others

tagged: elisadealmeida5, sakinakarchaoui, grace_geyoro, psg_feminines, qatarairways

jackie_groenen_14 always learning with the girls, it was nice to have some special days with my 2nd fam ❤️💙

view all 58 comments

y/nl/n what were you thinking in the 5th slide lolll

↳ jackie_groenen_14 @y/nl/n i thought you said it was cute :(((

↳username1 @jackie_groenen_14 im so confused how do they know each other

elisadealmeida5

liked by y/nl/n, jackie_groenen_14, grace_geyoro, and 74,567 others

elisadealmeida5 Great time together in doha 🇶🇦

Thanks for the amazing experience ✨️

@psg_feminines

@Visitqatar

@qatarcreates

@Qatarairways

#parissaintgermain #psg #paris

View all 321 comments

_clarehunt 🥰🥰

jackie_groenen_14 baby ❤️

user54 تهبلللل اخخخخ

user42 lindaaaa😩

user11 who was she giggling with on the 5th pic ugh 😩😩

y/nl/n

Liked by elisadealmeida5, kehlani, brahim, and 36,641 others

y/nl/n thank you so much Qatar for this experience, too many pretty places my phone storage is gonna explode ☹️

Thank you @dohamusicfestival for this unforgettable moment, and to everyone involved (that old lady that was making Nutella bread in souq waqif, I will never forget you 👆)

View all 2521 comments

user5 you're always welcome back!💞💞

user3 maybe that girl on Twitter wasn't so blind... I swear it's the same place

↳ user1 @user3 babe that's The Pearl it's literally like number 1 on tourist attraction place

↳ user3 @user1 so? They could go together

↳ user1 @user3 I still don't understand the fascination of them going together, like she can have friends. I know she's antisocial and makes jokes about it but I promise she's not a baby 🙏🙏

Cutiedealmeida uploaded a thread

"can I get a kiss?" - fan of Elisa's

Elisa: "sorry, I'm not single sorry" 💔

-

-

oh my god elisa speaks in English again! Does this confirm that our favorite football player is taken...or is she just saying that as the girl looks much younger? Who knows! I guess we have to wait till Eli confirms her relationship...video credits: @emiliaaa.zl 🤞❤️ #elisadealmeida #footballnews #psg #psgfeminines

View all 58 comments

↳ user1 FUCK MY LIFE

↳ user2 she literally just confirmed it by saying she's not single 💀💀 do you want her to post a sloppy make out picture or what

↳user3 let me not just say anything...

↳user4 @user3 do you know who is the gf?

↳user3 @user4 nope I was just jealous 😁

fanofyn @ynupdates do you think it could be her?

↳ ynupdates @fanofyn y/n never said she's not single. And even if she is taken, there is barely any proof of it being Elisa 🤞

elisadealmeida5 uploaded a story

y/nl/n

Liked by elisadealmeida5, kehlani, brahim, and 79,751 others

Y/n ☀️❄️

View all 9562 comments

User1 she couldn't think of a caption so she used emojis lol

↳ y/nl/n @User1 stop exposing me 😔

Besfriend can't believe you ditched me for this 💔💔

↳ y/nl/n @Bestfriend stopppp I asked you if you wanted to come 😭😭

Jackie_groenen_14 the sunglasses and the smile 😍😍

↳y/nl/n @jackie_groenen_14 shut up I'm blushing 🤚

User2 SHUT UP SHES WITH THAT PLAYER

↳user3 @User2 that place is very popular lol every rich person is there right now

↳user2 @User3 man I can't even be fucking delusional anymore without yall

↳user4 @User2 I believe you, they were posing the same way too ✊️

↳user2 @User4 WHAT THE HELL I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THAT

Y/nl/n uploaded a story

elisadealmeida5 uploaded a story

Y/nl/n

Liked by elisadealmeida5, brahim, kehlani, and 156,164 others

Y/nl/n good night and good win 🙏 Hala madrid 🤍

View all 12736 comments

User1 wait she's actually with brahim????

↳user2 @User1 I'd cry

User3 slut, only cares about players for money

↳user4 @User3 get a fucking life weirdo

User5 nooo the men found out about her :(( she will literally get hate on every post now

Bestfriend idgaf it's visca barca

↳ y/nl/n @Bestfriend babe... this isn't you 😔😔

user6 she's wearing a Spain shirt 👀

↳ user7 @User6 isn't brahim Moroccan?

↳user6 @User7 he's half Spanish, and before he got into the Moroccan team he wanted to play for the Spanish one but he wasn't good enough for them ig😬😬

User8 BABBYYYYY LOOK AT MY GIRL LIKE WOW

User9 awh she's so happy for her boyfriend ;((

User10 the last slide is brahim?

User11 awhh it's so cute how she's teaching him how to eat with his hand, but the food looks too hot tho 😭😭

Y/nl/n uploaded a story

Y/nupdates_page

Liked by user1, y/nsister, and 64,652 others

Y/nupdates_page GUYS KILL MEE Y/N JUST WENT LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A YEAR!...but something happened in the end as you can see from this screen-recording.

Is Y/n dating Elisa? Or was it Brahim? The audio wasn't clear, and the camera wasn't showing the door properly either! But from the small corner... the person has the same features as both brahim and Elisa. Short brown hair and fair skin... it could be either. But it's 99% Brahim since y/n never made a statement that she likes women, and she did make a lot of... interesting tweets back in the day about brahim ifykyk 🙈🙈

#y/n #music #elisadealmeida

View all 11,614 comments

user1 LMFAOOOO HER FACE

user2 idfc I'll stay delusional and pray it's Elisa

user3 wait what happened after this???

↳Y/nupdates_page @User3 she froze for 5 seconds, laughed, and then just ended it 😭😭 not even a fucking goodbye, she HATES us 😔💔💔

user4 noooo she's not single anymore💔 no more heartbroken depressing music

user5 wait who the fuck is Elisa and why does it feel like there is some inside joke that yall are hiding from me

↳Y/nupdates_page dw bae i got you, I made a post about the whole rumor a while ago 🫡

user6 HER SISTER LIKED IT

↳Y/nupdates_page @User6 she's probably sending it to the gc to laugh at her lmfao 💀💀

User7 #music ma'am are you that desperate for likes

↳Y/nupdates_page @User7 yes I'm an attention whore and the tag clearly worked.

y/nl/n

Liked by elisadealmeida5, jackie_groenen_14, kehlani, and 196,725 others

Tagged: elisadealmeida5

y/nl/n I'm so happy for my girlfriend ;((

eli, I'm so proud of you and I love you so much 🤎🤎

View all 60,624 comments

elisadealmeida5 babbyyyy❤️❤️🥺🥺

↳y/nl/n @elisadealmeida5 ❤️🤎

user1 WHICH ONE OF YALL BITCHES CALLED ME DELUSIONAL

user2 it's actually insane how we knew about this from a random tweet damn

user3 brahim didn't like this post lolll

user4 that's a girl?

user5 damn she's hot as hell

user6 I get depressed thinking she's not single but I start crying in joy when I realize it's a woman

user7 awhh she used a brown heart emoji 🤎🥺🥺🥺

↳user8 @User7 what the fuck is that supposed to mean 💀💀

↳user7 @User8 y/n has a whole album called 'Brown Hearts' lol

user9 Elisa is not single :(((((

user10 wait are they together?

↳user11 @User10 well i tell you what Sherlock Holmes you are unbelievable

↳y/nsister @User11 LMFAOAOAO

-----

i want to thank @thinkingaboutjaedyn for showing ouidad... like its insane how perfect she is for this

fun facts:

-the pictures were somehow easy to find, i was actually shocked on how i was able to find pictures from ouidad for this fic, the only time i struggled was for the 'paparazzi' pics at the end.

-the two pictures on y/n's post of her in qatar were from my sister's instagram page

if there is a mistake ignore it because im gonna kms if i have to edit this again

[thevoidscreams]

Let’s do another one, shall we? This one might be a little more…freaky.

(Any Chaos Astartes)

*Your Astartes been more affectionate lately. Slowly persuading you into his “nest” where he finally has you right where he wants you. Stuffing you full of his clutch.

*You don’t even realize whats happened until you’re whimpering out in ecstasy. Too drugged up on his scent/pheromones.

*Oh, you’ll make a wonderful mother to his brood.

(Too freaky?)

Day 16

I am frothing. I love oviposition.

Pairing: Pumpkin chaos astartes oc x reader

Warnings: oviposition, sex pheromones/ chemically induced arousal, space marine husbandry with full sized astartes

Making the warnings bigger so yall dont miss it. But I'm gonna say it's all consensual I'm going to make more for this in the future I think

When I'd found him out in the wilderness I hadn't expected to bond with him so strongly. I couldn't even really tell what legion or chapter he'd been a part of.

Chaos, that was what the apothecaries told me and I was instructed to move forward with caution. I called him Pumpkin as a sign of affection. It was the nickname my mom used to call me. He liked it alot. Answering me eagerly when I called for my Pumpkin. Perhaps I should have tried to learn his real name first, now he won't tell me what it is. He only answers to Pumpkin.

But I liked him. He was a good housemate, keeping tidy and he was affectionate for someone I found in the woods.

He took up the old room I gave him, and it quickly became a cozy place as he scrounged old furniture from curbs.

I made him clean them thoroughly before he could bring them in. But it became a really sweet set up.

After he was done with all that he seemed to shift. It was nearly imperceptible at first. Just more touches here and there. Going out and bringing back fresh foods he'd foraged with him. 

Checking in on me, marking dates on the calendar with little stars. As if he was tracking something but he wouldn't tell me what. He spoke in broken English, but he was still learning the language, and I had learned just enough of his High Gothic to communicate.

I thought about going out to acquire another astartes. The forums said if you could have more then one they learned new languages quicker.

When I brought it up with him, he absolutely lost it. Yelling “No” in more than just two languages.

I was shocked but dropped it. But he was oddly distant after that, taking his dinner to his room to eat alone.

That night I went to the forums and tried to find out more.

[Hey all. My chaos astartes is strictly against me getting another astartes. Why,]

NewlyChaotic: 

“Hey all, 

I ‘adopted’ my chaos astartes about five months ago and everything has been great so far, but I had been wanting to open my home to another perhaps. But when I brought it up to Pumpkin (it's what he likes me to call him, I don't know why)

He lashed out badly and wouldn't talk to me for hours and went to bed.

I only brought it up after reading that astartes learn and operate better in groups generally.

Even chaos aligned.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, I feel so lost and just want my Pumpkin hugs back. ;^;

I wanted and soon my thread had a response.

Salamander_Sheila🐉:

Hey @NewlyChaotic,

Sorry to hear about your troubles. It happens sometimes that astartes grow bonded to their baselines and just don't want to share. He might feel like you'll replace him if you bring another astartes into your home.

As for the chaos aspect, what legion is he?

NewlyChaotic:

I'm not sure, his armor looks like it was scrubbed clean of paint and he has no livery that I can discern. He's normally very sweet and I love him to pieces, I could never replace him.

Salamander_Sheila🐉:

I get that. I love my boys to bits and wouldn't ever want to hurt them.

Maybe he left his chapter/warband.

Also my friend @ShadowyMistress has a few chaos boys. She might know some things.

ShadowyMistress:

I have been summoned?

Yes I have many different chaos astartes. They're really sweet when they actually like you lol. :p

NewlyChaotic: 

So is his behavior normal?

ShadowyMistress:

Seems it. However you should look out if he starts to make “nests”.

Some mutated astartes begin to take on more animalistic traits.

He might try to breed you. Which, I mean if you're down for that then Godspeed.

Salamander_Sheila🐉:

It's pretty rare, but romantic connections can happen.

I would know.

I let that digest for a minute. Turning to look towards Pumpkin's door.

My heart thumped harder at the thought and I felt uncomfortably warm.

My love life had been pretty lackluster. Hadn't had a date in a hot minute. 

I shook my head, I'm sure it wasn't that.

NewlyChaotic:

Thanks for all the help guys. I have a lot to mentally chew on with his.

Salamander_Sheila🐉:

Talk to him, as best as you can.

If he's not proficient at English it's okay. Astartes are good at sensing intent and feelings. 

Be open with him and if you mean it, tell him you don't plan on replacing him with anyone else.

Good luck with Pumpkin, and you can shoot me or Shadow a dm if you need. We're usually around at this time.

NewlyChaotic:

I will. Night guys.

I logged off and shut the computer down.

The side table lamp was on and I knocked on the door softly. He wasn't an early sleeper so I knew he'd still be up.

There was a soft “Yes?” From the other side, I cracked the door open and called in.

“May I come in?...Please?”

I waited, my chest feeling tight for some reason.

“Yes.” 

I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding and stepped in.

Pumpkin was at his desk. It looked like he'd been watching a nature documentary on the laptop I'd gotten him. I was happy he'd been enjoying it.

The words of the girls on the forum flashed in my mind. ‘Just talk to him..he'll understand the intent.’

“Hey, I wanted to apologize about earlier, I didn't mean to upset you.”

He looked at me with green gold eyes that seemed to understand what I was trying to convey.

Perhaps he understood more of my language than he could speak.

He turned to me fully and put out his hand. I took it and shivered at the contact. His hands were so warm.

“I don't want you to think I'm trying to replace you, not at all. I care about you Pumpkin. I just read that you astartes tend to do better in groups. And I was worried that being here with me wouldn't be enough to make you happy.”

I hadn't meant to spill that fear to him, but it was out now and I couldn't take it back.

He pulled me into his arms. Hugging me with so much understanding and affection. It felt amazing to be held like that.

“You are…enough. I am.. I am happy with you.”

He had to think through his words as he spoke and I returned the hug.

“I'm so glad. I just want you to be happy and healthy.”

He nodded and kissed the top of my head, it made me giggle.

I let him go and he did the same. But he raised his hands and gently touched my chin.

“I love you.” He chirped on High Gothic and I wasn't sure what he'd said but I didn't press.

“Well, I'm gonna get to bed. I have more work to get done in the morning.”

I hurried out, feeling a tad bit light headed. His touch had left me feeling hot for reasons I couldn't explain.

I was going to need a shower. Probably a cold one.

I watched her go, my hearts pounding. Too little, I noted. My pheromones hadn't built up enough. I opened up the journal on the miniature computer system my beloved had gotten me. 

I needed to record this interaction. It would be important to show our sons in the future. After they were here of course. 

It hurt to lie to her. I loved her, but I couldn't risk her finding out I knew everything she'd said. 

And if she brought an intruder into our home, our nest. My cover would be blown and our children's safety compromised.

I loved her, but she could be so silly.

Standing, I shutdown the computer and chuckled. No incense needed, no fancy oils. I liked these little machines. 

It was late and I needed to finish touching up the place where I would make our family, my new warband of sons, a reality.

It was such a shame that the old one lacked vision. That they refused to accept the gifts of our patrons.

Our numbers would have grown and we would have been unstoppable. Able to take anyone we pleased to grow our numbers.

I had had to do it, to cleanse them from existence. They turned me away, called me disgusting. A shame to kill so many brothers and cousins.

But what if they told others? 

I'd rid myself of their colors, their symbols, their outdated ideals. I was my own man now. I would have a warband that was loyal and not full of naysayers and old ruins.

The prince of pleasure and the changer of ways had given me such wonderful gifts.

I just had to have my little darling here with me in my nest. My pheromones were the strongest here. And she'd been too busy to notice that I moved my couches to block in the corner.

This would be the most comfortable place to fill her with my clutch.

I rearranged the pillows again, and pulled more blankets I'd gotten into the pit.

Perfect.

Her door was never locked. A good thing really, she was so beautiful in the moonlight. Dreaming soft dreams.

Were they of me? I know what few dreams I had were of her.

They had been since I'd first seen her in the park. Plotting how I would find my way to her. The whispered promises of my patrons in my ears.

But then, she found me first. It was fated. Truly it could not have been any other way. I had to be hers. She had to be mine. They told me so.

I liked the new shampoo she used, it smelled like desert flowers….like home.

“I love you.” I whispered again. My fingers brushing over her still damp hair. I would feel it more when I took her tomorrow. I would let her work while I made ready our love nest.

She would be mine. And her body would hold our sons. The prey I brought for her to feast on had been nutrient rich and her cycles had proven that. Tomorrow was the perfect time, peak fertility.

Oh so many clutches would her body carry for me.

I kissed her lips softly and slipped back to my room.

Soon darling. Soon.

The alarm I'd set woke me and I stretched rolling out of bed.

The smell of food wafted to me as I stepped out into the hall.

“Pumpkin?”

There was an answering grunt from the kitchen and my astartes came into view. Cooking up a balanced meal, as was his habit.

“Anything fun planned for today?” I asked, knowing he likely wouldn't reply.

“Well I have to finish up that last chapter and get it sent in. My editor's been on my butt all week over it.”

I felt his eyes fall on me. But he didn't reply verbally, just bringing me food without asking for anything in return.

I smiled and took the plates.

“I don't deserve you. You're too good to me.”

I was surprised when he wrapped me up in his arms, hugging me and nuzzling the top of my head.

He'd been doing that more and more often.

“Thank you, Pumpkin.” “You are welcome.” He sighed happily. “You remembered the response. That’s great.” I looked up and our noses touched briefly. Just to be a stinker I kissed the tip of his nose. He shivered and pulled away to look at me, he looked a bit confused and oh so adorable. I giggled, I couldn't help it, somehow the towering mass of muscle was just too cute. “Sorry, it was simply too good an opportunity to pass up.” 

He nodded and leaned down to kiss my nose in return. I giggled again and he went to his chair. I told him about my chapter and the climatic finale I had planned and how those plot points would lead to the next book. He listened with patience and nodded, even if I wasn’t sure he understood all the details. He took my empty plates and put them in the sink. “Have a good day.” He hugged me and I hugged him back. “I’ll do my best. Just for you.” His eyes lit up at that. She was becoming more affectionate in return. My patrons must be right. It had been too hard to pull myself away. But I needed time to continue to make the nest perfect with the final rituals. I retreated to my room, several bags of snacks ready for the trap I had set. At around 1:30 I finished up my last edit and sighed, saving my document again for the thousandth time and sent it off to my editor. I heard Pumpkin’s door open and went to see what he was doing. WHen he saw me his eyes lit up and he waved me over. “Hey you, guess who officially finished their book?” I gestured to myself. “It’s me!”

I stopped at his door and he took my hand. The lights in his room were dim and comfortable. “What’s all this about?” 

He’d rearranged his furniture making a blanket and pillow bowl. He’d set up his laptop with snacks and the show we’d been watching together. The room smelled strongly of him and something sweet. I was going to question what he’d used but suddenly I just didn’t mind. And hell, I could use a break and a treat for all that work I'd done. I let him take me to his blanket pit and climbed over the couch. “So what’s on the menu today?”

“You my beloved.”

I pressed play and pulled her down into my lap. She obliged and I had to once again fight to simply have her then and there. She fit perfectly against my body and I could feel myself getting hard. I needed to calm down. To let her find herself naturally ready to mate. I could smell it on her. Her fertility. The episode was good, but I kept losing my focus on it and looking down at her. After an hour she seemed a bit woozy. Like she had been after that party. She’d worried me then, but now I knew what clouded her mind and it wasn’t any drink. I smiled, it must have looked deranged for as much glee and anticipation I felt. It was impossible to focus now, I was so needy now that I had half a mind to just leave and take care of myself. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to be close to Pumpkin. I wanted to pet him and kiss him deeply. He was so handsome, nothing like what those forums said about the chaos chapters. “Pumpkin?” I breathed, my head felt light as I looked up at him, his green gold eyes boring into me. “Yes?” Mmm, his voice, gosh I could listen to it all day. I turned in his lap and did something I never thought I’d do. I kissed him, full on the mouth. He flinched with shock and my brain shorted out. The world spun and I was under him. The blanket pile smelled like him and I buried my face in it. Something nagged at the back of my mind but I ignored it in favor of space marine smell. Pumpkin moved away and I whined, making grabby hands for him to come back. My body was being shifted, although I wasn’t sure why and I felt him return the heat of his skin on mine making me moan. His hands took hold of my thighs and something pressed at my entrance. I was too giddy to look down, the instinctual part of my brain hollered again and I knew what, but I found that I didn’t care. She yielded to me so beautifully, her body was ready and I slipped in with a groan and she let out a silvery little cry under me. Her hands clawed at my chest, trying to pull me down closer to her. I let her, and took her chin in my fingers, holding her as I pressed her down into the blankets, kissing her hard. The mother of my sons. Too perfect, too warm and tight. I wondered if she would accept me forever. I would happily make her my little wife. She could write her books while she tended to our sons. I pulled out, rutting back into her. My cock was perfectly tailored to allow me to push the tip into her cervix without hurting her. Just one of the design choices that the changer had gifted me. It would allow me to cum in her and not waste any of it. That cum would prepare her body for what came next. My clutch, those seeds that would mature and grow till she was able to lay them. It would only be a few of them. BUt soon I’d be able to fill her. Her body would grow accustomed to them. But for now, I loved her body with my own. It was like heaven, his body moving against me, and in me. The warmth of his body over mine and his lips stealing kisses. I cried out again as he pressed in deeper, every thrust was pure delight. His cock brushing over every spot conceivable that might make me see stars. My nails racked over his skin, leaving angry red scratches behind, he moaned and it made me want him even more. It was like candy to my brain, a sugarly sweet addiction.

“Pumpkin.” I squealed as he wrapped his arms under my back and hugged me tight to him, leaving barely enough room to breath. His hips jack hammered into mind, making cohesive thoughts impossible. But what should matter to me? It was an otherworldly level of pleasure. No one had ever made me feel this good. The force of his thrusts and the pure bliss sent me over the edge, It felt like my body was twisting inside as my eyes rolled back and my back arched almost painfully into him. The noise that came from me didn’t sound like one a pleasure i’m sure, but my body burned with even more need, the need to be filled. Her nails cut into my thick hide, drawing droplets of blood and I felt even more in love with her. So strong for someone so small. I could feel her loosening and the tip of my cock slipped an inch into her womb. The perfect place for my clutch. I came into her. The thick ropes of my love conditioning her for the final stage. The prince promised me that it would make her body accept my clutch, giving her the feeling of being pregnant. So her body wouldn’t reject my sons. They moved down from their place of holding in my abdomen and I groaned deeply as I felt them pass from me and into her. I petted her hair as she gasped and writhed under me as the eggs stretched her. “There, there. Soon my love. You will bring forth our sons.” I soothed her kissing her cheeks and temples while three lemon sized eggs were deposited into her. I stayed inside her till she fell asleep in my arms. A soft smile gracing her lips. “My love, you cannot imagine the joy you have brought to my life. And the joys you have yet to bring.” I rolled onto my side making her comfortable as she pressed into me. I placed a blanket over her. I had a journal entry to update. My Dearest sons, You were conceived today. And your mother was more perfect than I could have ever dreamed.

[sukunasweetheart]

//just me venting about sukuna haters sorry

Not me seeing so much discourse about whether sukuna is a well written villain or not... he essentially has no backstory shown as of yet and we barely know anything about him but he is still one of the most naturally interesting and compelling characters in the whole damn series bro 💀 buckle up bc its about to get lengthy (im just glazing sukuna in this post ngl so 🧎‍♀️)

so many whiny ass mfs are weeping about how he "doesn't have any personal goals or a proper reason to be a villain" when that is the whole point???? He lives on his own desires and satisfactions and does whatever he wants to, because he is capable enough to do that. Mfs want "real villains" but cant even handle sukuna 💀 ive seen too many shit ass threads and poorly articulated "critiques" on his character that dont make any valid points. If you can't even separate your personal dislike of a character from your analysis of their writing, dont even bother posting that shit please 😭😭😭 the fact that we haven't even gotten any information about his background yet and people are jumping the gun about him being "poorly written" is already saying a lot 🤨

The fact that yall are so bitter and angry about him that you can write 500+ words about how oh-so-terrible of a villain he is kinda proves that he's doing his job well tbh 💁‍♀️

What also bothers me to no END is how people compare him with villains of other series, who had compelling sob stories that made people empathise with them. Thats nice and all but why should all villains have grand ideals and be subject to feelings of empathy/sympathy from their audience?

Part of what makes sukuna so interesting is how he's not tied down by morals, rules or long term goals in life. He doesn't limit himself, which is what makes him an unpredictable character. He's completely left behind what it means to be human in many ways, and he's clearly not a character written to be empathised with. He is very purposefully inhumane and distant from everyone else, and that feeling transcends from within the series to real life as well. There is a clear lack of understanding bc most of us can't comprehend what its like to just live without being goal-oriented.

Sukuna is a true anomaly in the sense that he doesnt really fit in any kind of box within the series. He's born from man, but its clear that he separates himself from humans (and nobody else considers him human, either). He's not a cursed spirit. He hovers between life and death. The narrator referred to him as the honoured one, whilst angel referred to him as the disgraced one.

These little contradictions in his character make him all the more complicated and interesting to think about. And even recently, he's been shown to waver a little bit momentarily in the manga, questioning his own irritation at yuuji. He's capable of self reflection, and though sukuna does whatever he wants for the most part, he doesn't blindly go into things without some thought first, he's a constant thinker and analyser, and an intelligent one at that.

And honestly, he is always such a joy to watch and read, his personality is so flavourful, and the way he carries himself is very attractive. He's not afraid to get messy or of getting hurt, theres so much chaos in the way he does things and yet he also has a huge element of gracefulness to him, which shines through the poetic way he speaks. Its undeniable that sukuna simply oozes charisma...

And this isnt talked about enough but this man is genuinely so effortlessly funny (in a kind of sinister way i guess?) Like yes he is an old ass man having real beef with one FIFTEEN YEAR OLD for very little reason, he accidentally healed yuujis arm and somehow expected him to be grateful for it despite how he literally ripped his heart out afterwards, then he proceeded to sit on him after kicking him down likeeee 😭 what kind of behaviour is this sir

His facial expressions at yorozus yapping 💀 THE WAY HE COMPARED YUUJIS FACE OF DESPAIR TO THE HARIMA STATUE 😭😭😭💀😭💀💀😭 omg that was so foul but i was fucking losing it ngl

How he randomly compared gojo to a fish and started talking abt his scales... thats a very unique and descriptive comparison, isnt it? Even in the recent leaks, he was 100% ready and squaring up to a literal child talking abt "youre starting to get annoying" LIKE HELPPP 😭 HE FR SAID "fuck them kids and fuck you too"

I saw someone saying that sukuna has no passion, like are we talking about the same character....? This man is a literal jujutsu NERD 💀💀 he truly recognises talented sorcerers and the only time hes seen to be having genuine fun is when hes fighting a mf... is that not passion? This is literally sukuna when it comes to jujutsu: 🤓

Anyway im done here now, im pretty sure i missed a lot of things i couldve talked about as well but ive done enough yapping

[twinsunstars]

the thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com is open and i am screaming at what i'm finding while playing around with the search tool thingy (more under cut, literally a thread of what i'm discovering, i'll add on as i find more)

typed in dipper's name and this showed up

when putting in stanford's name... a whole file

put in stanley and it led me to an ebay website for brass knuckles

for mabel, it covered the lab in stickers

for gideon, a google search for sweat resistant bolo ties

for soos, a whole long note from him, suggest y'all go type it in and read it

for waddles, a website called Pig Placement Network... adopt yall

for Pacifica, a letter from her

for Wendy, also a letter from her

for the creator Alex Hirsch, a google search for flannels

lmao

when entering weirdmageddon... a whole newspaper

when i put in Bill... VERY FUNNY SIR

when i put in just Cipher, it led me to this link omg

is... is this a pun (@orion-tyche you're gonna love this)

im wheezing

typed in book of bill..

yes sir 🫡

typed in mystery shack... lmao what

ANOTHER PUN

i typed in love... (im honestly just playing around at this point) WHAT IS THIS

put in our website password...

lmao

YET ANOTHER PUN

interesting

typed in monster

my brother thought of this one and we didn't expect anything

reblog with what else you all find!!

[honey-flustered]

Cruel Little Vixen 7

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Journalist!Reader

Summary: The universe continues to teach you and Eddie some important lessons. Tensions rise when the world becomes aware of the rockstar’s girl. And top it all off, you and Eddie are forced to make an important decision regarding your relationship.

NO READ MORE LINE BREAK ADDED DUE TO GLITCH

A/N: It’s been a tough ass road, but I’m back. I’ve experienced challenges with the last two parts of my story being deleted and having to start over, my mental health’s hung by a fucking thread, I’ve been anxious to post because I feel like my work’s not good enough but ya know what I love writing and it keeps me happy! The series is coming to an end. Just one more part (tried making this the last one but the ending’s too damn long). I cannot wait to finish this because I’ve had so many fic ideas I’ve been meaning to share. I wanna complete requests and ask for some of yall ideas or whatever. I just want to have some fun with this. Any this chapter’s filled with slight rom com elements and tropes. It’s definitely a healing experience for both reader and Eddie. Especially Eddie. It’s a wild ride so please enjoy! Also Happy New Years! 🥳

>>>>>Series Masterlist Part 7 of 8

Word Count: 10.8k

Warnings: overload of fluff and 🌽, heavy flirting, idiots in love, airplane jokes, some angst, brief blood and violence, talks of negligent parents and juvenile detention, hinted abuse of a minor character, smutty smut, kissing/making out, fingering, squirting, handjob, light dirty talk, nipple play, mile high club activities, graphic language, Eddie loves drinking his respect women juice

2 years ago…

“We’re Corroded Coffin and we’re the band your parents wished you never listened to! 2, 3, 4!” Eddie shouts into the mic, counting in time to Gareth’s drumstick taps. The drums to Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way” are the first to make its noise before the familiar guitar riff picks up after it.

Then, he sings and the crowd’s loving it.

The former nightclub bartender and now manager of Corroded Coffin, Eugene Neds, spotted great potential in the enigma that was Eddie Munson that night. In a band of 19-year-olds passing off as 21 to perform at a venue much too risqué for kids their age, the man only had eyes for the lead guitarist/singer. Eddie was going to be a star, he was sure of it. Eugene just needed to make sure that he would be the one to make it happen.

The music cuts abruptly. “Hey, asshole! Leave her the fuck alone, alright.” Eddie shouts on the mic, pointing over at the bar. The spotlight lands on the inebriated giant of a man towering over a visibly uncomfortable woman.

“Why don’t you mind your goddamn business?” The large man slurs.

“I’m not so sure it’s your business either, man. She wants absolutely nothing to do with you.” Eddie hops off stage, approaching the man as if he were David in Goliath’s presence.

At that moment, Eddie realized he was tired of running, tired of bullies, and tired of being picked on for being different. Those days have been laid to rest along with all his grievances of high school. The man had since gained the grit needed to face danger head on. It was the day he reclaimed the title, ‘The Freak’.

“You looking for a fight, little guy?” The large man attempts to intimidate, towering over him.

“Well, if you won’t leave her alone…then yes…I am looking for a fight.” Eddie stares daggers up at the man.

Not a second longer, the man’s fist connects with Eddie’s jaw, sending him back against a table with a few glasses being knocked over. Eddie’s wild hair covers over his face. He swipes a thumb over his lips. Blood. Blood that was now seeping from his mouth. The room is quiet, not a peep. But then the sound of laughter. It was manic. Wicked. And craziest of all, it wasn’t coming from the man who’d thrown the first punch.

It was the enigma himself.

So this was what it felt like to be punched? To taste blood? To stand up and fight instead of running? To laugh in the face of danger. And it felt so good.

The metalhead looks up at the giant man. His teeth, bloodied red. A terrifying smile of nightmares. He stands planted on his two feet again.

“You want some more, freak?” The large man says, swinging a fist in the air once again only this time Eddie swiftly ducks out the way. He surges forward at the large man, full speed, sliding from under him so that he is now right behind the man.

Eddie quickly climbs on top of the bar table. “You’re not so big from where I’m standing,” He quips then points at the liquor hose in the bartender’s hands. “Hey, could I borrow that?”

The bartender hands it over. Holding the nozzle over the giant man’s head, Eddie's famous smirk is the only warning. The man could barely register what was going on before the trigger’s pulled, beer spraying and trickling down his head.

The large man was now wet and red with anger. Eddie makes no haste with his next move, spatting blood in the bully’s face and uppercutting him with a kick to his chin. The large man goes down with a loud thud. The room is in an uproar of applause and thus the beer dumping incident became a fan favorite legend. To this day, fans of Corroded Coffin pay homage at concerts, dumping cans of beer on their heads.

The band was soon tossed out of the venue that night and although Eddie’s friends had sung their praises, he couldn’t help but to feel guilty having ruined their biggest gig.

Then, he was approached by that very bartender on his way back to his van. The one who’d soon change the trajectory of his life. The one that promised a life of glitters and gold. Eugene Neds had sold Eddie a dream. A dream that was disguised as a lending hand to the young man.

“I can make Corroded Coffin a household name.” He says, holding out a business card.

A former manager of countless failed bands, Eugene was convinced he’d finally found the kind of talent that would free him of the depressing bore of a penniless 9 to 5. Eddie Munson would be his project. His success story of taking a teenage dirtbag with the attitude and skills and molding him into a sex symbol. Thus creating ‘Francis The Freak’.

But then… YOU came along. The rockstar’s undoing. You were tearing down the walls that were so perfectly built.

Mr. Neds calls it: You’ll be the end of Eddie and his band. The only form of control Mr. Neds has now would be keeping your relationship with Eddie under wraps. He’ll be patient, though. He knows this couldn’t possibly last between you two. Certainly, you were just another pair of legs that captured his short attention span until he eventually got bored.

Mr. Neds snaps out of his thoughts at the sounds of your giggling, eyes looking at the rearview mirror from his seat on the tour bus. You and Eddie were cozied up in the back, him showing you some scars.

“So, that explains the NPC-like behavior of your fans dumping beers on their heads or asking you to spit on them,” You deduce. “I’m glad to be in the know. This’ll be great tying that into my last article.”

“Did you really say NPC? As in Non-Player Character? You little nerd, am I rubbing off on you?” Eddie teases, poking your tummy.

“Hey, I know things.” You laugh, poking him back. “But you shouldn’t solve everything with fists. I’ve never known you to be a fighter.”

“I’m a lover, but I’m no pacifist.”

“You, a lover?”

“Mhm, want me to demonstrate?” His mouth attacks your neck, you squeal in delight.

So lost in each other, you couldn’t have noticed the manager’s demands to the driver to halt the bus. He had grown more and more frustrated at the sight of you and Eddie being so close. He decidedly gets out of his seat, walking down the aisle past the bandmates who could immediately sense something about to go down but all they could do was follow with their eyes as the manager made his way over to you.

“Y/n, Eddie…I’ll need you to test a theory for me. Stand beside one another.” The manager demands, breaking your moment together.

“What’s your point?” Eddie asks, squinting his eyes.

“We need to make sure that you both won’t look so ‘friendly’ with one another,” The manager explains. “The media are bloodhounds. One whiff of the hormones circulating between you would send them into a frenzy and next thing ya know you’re on the cover of yet another magazine.”

“Are you suggesting that the chemistry between us is so intense that remotely standing beside each other would give us away?” You ask, incredulously.

“Precisely.”

“Are you familiar with the term ‘delusional’?” You question rhetorically, causing Eddie to chuckle.

“Not delusional. Perceptive.”

“You weren’t very ‘perceptive’ when Eddie and I got together.” You smirk.

“I’ve suspected. I just chose to ignore it. It only became too difficult to deny when the two of you became sloppy with it.” Mr. Neds scoffs.

“We can totally stand beside each other without being ‘friendly’.” Eddie defends.

“Oh, is that so?” Mr. Neds asks, mockingly. “Because right now, right before my eyes, I see you and Eddie sat extremely close on this loveseat with his hand caressing your thigh…and he doesn’t even know he’s doing it.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, looking down at the hand that graced your supple skin lovingly. The two of you jump apart as if burned by the other.

“See what I mean,” Mr. Neds lets out a dry laugh. “Now please stand. Both of you.”

“Fine.” You and Eddie mutter in unison.

Standing up at once, your arms knock against each other’s. Your eyes trained at the contact and how close in proximity you both were. You blush, eyes on him. He notices your flustered state, smirking down at you.

“Jesus Christ.” Mr. Neds rubs at his temple, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“Oh, they’ve got it bad.” Mel says as he walks in biting nonchalantly into an apple.

“It’s worse than I thought,” The manager groans. “You’re like magnets! You’ll need to stand at least 7 feet apart.”

“7 feet?! How the hell am I supposed to interview and complete my article from 7 feet away?” You argue.

“Anything is possible.” Mr. Neds answers.

“You’re being a real pain in the ass, Eugene.” Eddie says to the 40-something man.

“Welcome to my world,” He retorts. “If 7 feet’s such a big deal then I’ll be reasonable. 5 feet. No more negotiations.”

“This is so stupid.” Eddie shakes his head.

“Don’t be so upset, brother. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder or some bullshit like that. It could actually be quite romantic.” Mel chimes in.

“Mel…get the hell outta here.” Eddie and Mr. Neds sneers together.

Mel exits, a middle finger up in the air while the other brings the apple to his lips.

“Now if we’re going to work together and keep the peace,” The manager begins. “We need to do this my way. No, ‘ands’, ‘ifs’, or ‘buts’ about it. We’ll be at the airport to catch a plane to New York soon so—.”

“Whoa,” Eddie interrupts. “I thought we were going back home?”

“Well, I’ve booked a performance for Corroded Coffin to attend. It was an offer that I couldn’t refuse. A Holiday Parade! And it won’t just be televised in Hawkins like you’re used to. It’ll be all over America. No worries about rehearsals either. Just do everything exactly how you did at Mantra•esque. Ever since that performance, word’s been traveling about the new hot band in town. You’ll have an interview with the hosts of the parade right after so please be on your best behavior.”

“Why am I just now hearing about this?” Eddie’s voice raises.

“Well, you would’ve heard about it along with the boys if you hadn’t snuck out last night.”

“I have even caught my breath yet, man.”

“You had countless nights to rest. You spent them sneaking around with your…girlfriend. Eddie, I only ever want what’s best for you. If I hadn’t discovered you, where do you think you would’ve been?” Mr. Neds rests a heavy hand on Eddie’s shoulder. A visual much akin to that of a demon resting on gullible shoulders, pleading for their victim to sign away his rights. “You would have still been living in that shitty trailer park while your uncle picked up 12 and 16 hour shifts just to keep a roof over your heads. Remember, you’re not doing this for yourself. This is survival. You understand I only mean well…do you?”

Eddie’s jaw clenches, a quick nod.

“I knew you would. It’s nothing personal, kid. It’s just what they call ‘business as usual’. It’ll only be for a few more days and then you could enjoy all the time you need in Hawkins before the next tour.” The manager pats his back before making his way back up front to inform the driver to get back on track.

Sitting back on the little loveseat, you climb into Eddie’s lap while your arms wrapped around his neck for a hug. “He shouldn’t be allowed to speak to you that way.”

“He’s right, though.” Eddie huffs, caressing your back.

You felt yourself becoming angry for him, pulling away to look him in the eye. “He’s wrong. With or without him, you could do anything. Anyone could’ve seen that light in you. I have. You’ve got something special and no fucking manager could take that away from you, okay.”

Eddie’s stoic expression softens into a warm smile. “Look at you being all protective. Making you my girlfriend’s made you all soft.” He chuckles.

“No one messes with my man,” You shrugged with a smile. “He talks to you like that again and I’ll knock him down a peg or two.”

“That’s very cute,” He kisses the space between your eyebrows. “But you don’t have to defend me, ya know. I’m a big boy.”

“What? You think I couldn’t do it or something?” You ball your fists into your sides.

“Oh, no. My hesitancy is more concerned with how badly you’ll hurt his ego. I still need the man to be able to stand on his two feet if he’s getting this band going.” Eddie jokes.

“But…i-is that what you want? To keep this going?” You asked, twiddling with your thumbs.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

“What about taking a break? You’re going to perform in New York then you’ve got Europe in a week or so. It just seems like a lot.”

“It does seem like a lot. But if I have you beside me, it wouldn’t be so bad,” He catches himself. “In New York, I mean.”

Eddie made sure to include that last part not wanting the inevitable conversation to be brought up. Eventually, it will. As you’ve mentioned, the tour for Europe is approaching. The next time you’ll see each other again wouldn’t probably be for another 6 months. Maybe more. But what really affected him was the idea that you wouldn't think to consider going on tour with him. Especially since a little before bed last night, Eddie had asked you a question that tested everything between you two and all you could do was ignore it and say your goodnight.

“You want me to go to New York with you?” You asked.

He shrugs, shyly. “Well, yeah. I thought it was obvious. You’re fine to say ‘no’.” That response was meant for both situations: New York and Europe.

You take a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll go with you…” Eddie’s eyes lit up until you finished the last part of your sentence. “…to New York.”

“Y-yeah,” He clears his throat then echoes. “To New York.”

————

It was greatly in your favor that Eddie’s manager had decided to keep up with his “5 feet apart” rule, sitting you in separate seats across the aisle from one another. Why? Because you couldn’t bring yourself to talk about “the inevitable conversation”. Eventually…you’ll give your answer. Just not now. Not when things are going so well between you two.

You bury your head in your journal not exactly writing anything of importance, simply scribbling away to keep yourself from wondering if he was looking at you. But curiosity gets the best of you, so you peek up from your journal and catch Eddie’s eyes on you, too. You both look away at once, you resume your doodling nervously.

When you went to look over your shoulder this time, Eddie made a face silly enough to make you giggle and roll your eyes. He points at the journal in your hand, gesturing you to slide it over. You check your surroundings to make sure no one’s looking before doing so.

You waited as he proceeded to write something down. Then, he turned the journal to face you. In big letters: “Hi.”

You smile, waving and mouthing a “Hi” back.

He writes something down again and turns it over to face you. “Writing you here so Neds doesn’t try to listen in.”

You nod to confirm that you understand.

He writes. “What were you writing about?”

He could’ve turned the page to see exactly that but he didn’t wish to invade your privacy. You do the honors. Turning the page to which you scribbled different drawing variations of his name. You’re a little embarrassed to show him that he’s all you’ve been thinking about. But then he smiles eager to show you what he’d been reading.

He holds up his book, opening it to the page where his thumb held it open and reveals a polaroid photo of you looking up at him and him, down at you on the Manta•esque stage. This was his way of letting you know he’s thinking about you, too.

You smiled, writing him back. “How’d you get that?”

“Junie.”

“The camera guy?”

“Yep. Begged him to take at least one picture of you for me. It’s my favorite. I was going to share it with you but, selfishly, I want to keep it for myself.”

Is this really the same guy I met in that dressing room some weeks ago?

“Lovely view we have up here.” He writes.

You shoot him deadpan stare, not amused by the airplane joke. He tugs at the collar of his shirt in feigned nervousness before gesturing for the journal again. He writes. “Okay, I can see how that aviation joke went over your head.”

Still unamused. You wrote back. “I really appreciate corny jokes but these are just painfully bad.”

“Are you saying my jokes didn’t…land?”

“Please stop. If you’re going to tell airplane jokes, at least tell the Wright ones.”

Now he’s the one to look at you unamused and confused.

You scribbled quickly to explain yourself. “Get it? Wright. Like the Wright brothers. The first ones to fly an airplane?”

“Sorry, but your knowledge of world history is lost on me. I failed that class miserably.”

“I guess you can say it went over your head.”

“You can’t just repeat my joke. Joke stealing’s no laughing matter.”

Okay, that tickled you a bit. Smiling to yourself, you hadn’t realized Eddie passing you the notebook once again, until you felt the pages brush your arm.

“Think you can meet me in the restroom in 5?”

You scoff out loud. “I hope you're not thinking about what I think you’re thinking about.”

“I wanna talk.” He simply writes.

How could three words be so frightening? So ominous? Your heart pounds hard, daring to jump out of your chest.

“Are we not talking now? What would you need to talk about that can’t be said here?”

You anticipated his reply. Leaning over your seat, trying to peek but more so averting your eyes. You mindlessly picked at the skin around your fingernails, nerves getting the best of you.

With a solemn face, he holds out the journal to you. You meet his eyes then down at his hands, hesitating to reach for the book. The regretful look on Eddie’s face gave away that he was second guessing what he’d written down. When your fingertips grazes it, it falls out of his hand with an audible slap to the ground.

The two of you scramble to reach for it, kneeling down. Your hands accidentally touch in the attempt to take the book for yourselves. Instead of pulling away, you both ceased your frantic movements. Eddie’s thumb caressing the palm of your hand. You focus on this action then look into his big brown eyes.

The bing of the attendant assistance button pulls you out of the trance. Taking the notebook, you stand on your two feet and hug it to your chest. With a stern nod of confirmation, you stride your way down the first class aisle towards the restroom.

You shut the door behind, back rested against it as you let out a breath you weren’t aware you were holding. Eyes closed, you peel the notebook away from you. Your hands are outstretched in front of you and when you were sure it was directly in your field of vision, you opened your eyes and read.

“Europe.”

So it began. The inevitable conversation. There’s rhythmic knock and you were sure it was him, stepping away from the door and facing it. He opens it enough to let him slide through before he closing it behind him quietly.

“Hi.” He breathes out.

“Hi.” You say in quick breath as if you were scared to breathe at all.

“I guess you read the note.”

You don’t say a word, nodding tentatively.

“Y/n, I—“

“Why’re you calling me that?” You interrupt.

“You mean…your first… name?” He says, eyes squinting in confusion.

“Yeah. You usually call me some stupid pet name. What are we on first name bases now?”

“I thought you didn’t like it?” His eyebrow raises.

“It’s grown on me.” Your face grows hot as you cross your arms defensively over your chest. “Besides, do you just call me those names simply because I don’t like it.”

“At first, yeah. But I do it now because I like you.”

Your face grows even hotter, hoping he doesn’t see the effect he has on you right now. You should be upset, girl! “So, what gives? Why aren’t you calling me a vixen or a babe or whatever the fuck?”

“I just figured it’d be more appropriate for what I’ve got to say,” He explains before taking a deep breath. “I’d like to---”

You couldn’t bring yourself to hear much more of it. Okay. So he wants to talk about the tour in Europe? What exactly does he want from you? You couldn’t possibly give him an answer he’d be happy to hear.

“I’m sorry,” You cut him off again. “I didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to forget. To pretend that there was no tour so that I can enjoy being in the present, being with you. But now I know that sometimes…it’s okay to face the inevitable. So…I think I’m ready now.”

“You’re ready?” He says, eyes shimmering despite the dimly lit environment.

“Yes,” You confirmed, lowering your head to keep him from seeing your tears. “I know what you’re going to say. And you’re right. We should break up and—”

“What the hell are you talking about? I never mentioned breaking up. I hadn’t mentioned much at all since you kept interrupting.”

“You didn’t need to mention it. The signs are all there.”

“Really? Because I’m trying to see them for myself. They must be—I don’t know—invisible. Nonexistent.”

“You can’t possibly think I can just throw my career away to be some groupie for you.”

“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.” He jokes.

You roll your eyes. “I can’t go on that tour with you, Eddie. I have my dream and you have yours. I can’t put my work on the line when I’ve gotten this far.”

“So long distance not a thing?”

“I couldn’t do that to you. It wouldn’t be right. You’re gonna be a star. You’ll meet plenty of women who’d want you. I don’t want to hold you back. I just won’t do it. You deserve to be free to be with whoever you want.”

“You’re un-fucking-believable, Y/n,” He towers over you. “You have no right to make these decisions for me. That’s for me to decide. I’m tired of people telling me what to do, how to feel, what to think. I may not be the brightest but I’m not stupid. What about what I want?”

“What do you want?!”

“You, woman! I want you!”

“If you want me because you think I’ll be this doting girlfriend of your dreams who’s at your side at all times, who ‘sits down and shuts up’, constantly obeying your wishes; I am not that kind of girl.”

“Okay.” He shrugs, demeanor cool and collected.

“Okay? As in…”

“Okay, as in ‘I’m not asking you to be the girl of my dreams’. You already are, goddamn it. As stubborn, self-righteous and bitchy as you can be, I admire every part of you. Good or bad. I want you to have control over your own decisions and be unfiltered as you are. But sometimes, you do need to learn when to shut the hell up and listen to what I’m trying to tell you.”

You began to seethe at his words, opening your mouth to protest only for him to put his palm over it. He shushes you, his free hand putting a finger to his lips. “I’m gonna remove my hand now. You’ll be quiet, right?” He searches your glass-like eyes. You nod slowly, your stare holding sincerity.

“Good girl,” He praises, pulling his hand away. He straightens his composure as if to prepare himself for his own news. “I won’t be going on tour. I’ll follow you.”

Now you’re shaking your head at him. “No. You couldn’t. This is your chance!”

“There’ll be plenty of tours in the future. We can have time for each other until then. Get to know each other well enough so that you’ll start to believe me when I say there’s no one else I’d want besides you.”

Your eyes, the size of saucers. “Are you out of your fucking mind?! I would never ask you to do something like that.”

“That’s the thing. It’s my choice. I’m practicing this thing called ‘autonomy’. It’s quite refreshing actually.”

“It’s stupid!”

“That’s just your opinion.”

“It’s 100% fact,” You notice him approaching you slowly and closely. He’s got that devilish grin playing on his lips. “Stay away from me. 5 feet apart, remember?”

You place a hand on his chest, stopping any attempt for him to move further. He looks down at your shaky hand. He knows it’s futile, so he laughs. “We followin’ rules now?”

“I said, stay the fuck away, Munson.” You squeaked.

“That doesn’t sound very confident,” He chuckles darkly. “You sure you want me to stay away?”

You let out a shaky breath. He bites his lip. This shouldn’t excite him as much as it did, but he was HARD. And it didn’t help that the turbulence brought his attention to your full breasts bouncing temptingly in his gaze. Even covered by your scantily clad tank top, it was see-through enough to leave little to the imagination. He grasps your wrist, pulling your hand off his chest to hold.

He knew exactly how to push your buttons. You hate to admit it, but you were turned on, too. The wetness pooling in your underwear was undeniable.

“I think you like it when I’m this close,” He lets go of your wrist, testing the waters and taking another step. This time you don’t stop him. “I’m sure you remember the way I make you feel when my hand is between your legs.”

“Eddie…” You pleaded.

“You know what else I think, you wanted me to follow you the whole time. Is that why you ask if I wanted to keep the tour going? Why you’ve made me wait hand and foot for an answer? So, you can break me.”

“Not true.” You whimpered.

“Then, you manipulate me into thinking I’m breaking up with you,” He laughs incredulously. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, little vixen. I thought you were better than that,” His fingers coil around your neck tight, but not tight enough to cut off any air circulation. “But you couldn’t get rid of me that easily. Even if you were to leave me right now, you wouldn’t be able to forget me. You’d still feel me here.”

He cups your mound and your mouth drops, knowing that your cover was blown. You were sure that he’d feel you soaking your underwear. It was a blessing and a curse that you decided to wear a skirt today.

“We shouldn’t.” You gasped as he squeezed you down there enough to feel his rings digging into your cotton panties.

Oh yes, we should!

His lips ghosts over the shell of your ear. “You’ve broken me, kitten. Now’s my turn to break you.”

“Let me go.” You whispered weakly.

“You just don’t get it, do you?” He says, tone rich and deep. “There is no letting you go. You’d think I’d ever let another man touch you like this.”

He rolls a thumb over your nipple, perked up for him to tend to. A small moan escapes your lips, causing you to bite them in an attempt to cease any more sounds.

“I couldn’t even begin to imagine someone else hearing those pretty sounds eaving your lips,” With the hand still cupping your face, he swipes his thumb over your full lips and caresses the slightly-healed scar. “Couldn’t even bring myself to use your moans in my songs cause they’re meant for my ears only.”

“How do you think I feel? I get nauseous just imagining you with another girl,” You admit, eyes staring up in hopeless surrender to him. You grow as intensely possessive as him. Your bodies are so close, chests flushed together. Nails digging into his shoulders, you lay a desperate kiss on his lips that makes him feral. “I’m not usually the jealous type but I want you all to myself.”

“You have me.” He whispers, biting down on your soft bottom lip as he cups your butt and guides you to straddle his thigh. Slipping your panties to the side, he presses his thigh into your now exposed core. You knew exactly what he wanted, grinding against the fabric of his jeans. The rough material of the denim against your clit was a delicious surprise to you.

Eddie slips his tongue into your mouth and you immediately suck on the appendage. It felt like you were so in sync with the rhythm of your bodies. Your moans into the kiss competing with one another.

You loved when you got to hear the effect you had on him even without him being inside you. Your hands travel down to the dip in his back, pulling him closer (if it were even possible to be closer than you already were).

You ride his thigh, foreheads against one another and eyes locked. Noticing the erection straining against his jeans, you palm and squeeze it. He thrusts into your hand, pursuing further contact. The two of you work to unbutton his jeans, lowering the zipper until the pants loosened enough. Spitting into your hands, you dip it past the spandex of his boxers and free him of his restraints. You jerk him in your hands at the same tempo you moved your hips against him.

“I don’t want anyone else to touch you like this,” You pant. “Wanna be the only one.”

“I don’t want anyone else hearing how amazing you look you cum,” Removing his thigh away from between your legs, he shoves two thick fingers into you. You gasp which then melds into a moan at the feeling of being stretched so suddenly. Your eyes roll to the back of your head until Eddie snaps you out of it, gripping your chin and forcing you to face him again. “Eyes on me, little vixen.”

The feeling of his fingers, which were perfectly long enough to hit depths that even your own fingers couldn’t reach, drove you into a level of high you were scared to reach for. You tug his cock harder, faster in your hand and feel the precum coat your fingers with added lubrication.

Your stares grew intensely along with the sounds of your heavy breathing. You were getting lightheaded, knowing that the end was soon approaching.

“Want you inside me.” You begged, not caring enough that you were in an airplane restroom.

“Unh…fuck…not here,” He grunts. “Next time I fuck you will be at my place, in my bed so my sheets could smell like you.”

He wiggles a finger in you, teasing the sensitive trigger. His fingers are shot out of you and you’re squirting before you could even recognize that you’ve come.

“Holy shit, holy shit!” You squeal, vision going white. You convulse under him, hearing him groan and the familiar sticky feeling of his essence running in your hands.

You both cling onto each other moments after, his head to your chest feeling your heart beating erratically. When Eddie finally peels off of you, your body grows cold mourning the loss of his warmth. He cleans the two of you up, taking his time, cleaning between your legs and running a wet paper towel on the palms of your coated hands. He wordlessly watches your eyes tracking his hands, before placing a kiss to your now spotless fingers.

“You ready to go out there?” He asks.

“Could we walk out together?” You curl an arm around his, batting your lashes. You know it’s a risky thing to ask.

“Sure, babe.” A big warm smile plastered on his face.

When he feels as if you’re ready, he gives you a reassuring look before unlocking the door and stepping out. Undeniably, you were sure there would be eyes on you. So, releasing a breath, you walk down the aisle hand in hand with your heads high, ignoring the hushed whispers between passengers.

As the two of you approach the section where Corroded Coffin‘s seated, Mr. Neds looks back furiously in contrast to your blissed out states.

Instead of sitting in his “assigned” seat, Eddie sits beside you, putting an arm around you and smirking at the manager.

“Something wrong…Eugene?” Eddie mocks.

“Really? In the restroom? Are you forgetting we have 15 other passengers with us in a section small enough to hear someone’s heartbeat?” He replies through gritted teeth.

“She was quiet enough. As much as she could, anyway.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Very.”

“I’ll enjoy myself, too, someday. Currently, I’m thinking of how great that tour in Europe will be for you. It's a shame Y/n’s decided she won’t be joining us, though.” Mr.Neds says sarcastically.

“Don’t be surprised if that tour has no effect on me whatsoever. Almost like I’m not there.” Eddie retorts.

The two of them exchanged heated glares at one another. You sigh, sinking down in your seat.

————

It took longer than expected to arrive due to the weather conditions. A day and some hours and about 2 plane transfers to be concise. By the time you’d touchdown, it was practically evening but you couldn’t wait to get off the plane. You’ve never been to New York but you and Chrissy have talked about one day moving there together to make names for yourselves.

Despite Eddie clearly being exhausted from all the performances and trips, your joy rubbed off on him and soon he was just as determined to explore the big city as you.

Entering the terminal, you rush up to the big glass windows to stare out at the bustling streets. It’s really cold but no snowfall just yet.

You felt Eddie’s body pressed up against you, shivering enough to make you shake along with him.

“You okay, Eds?”

“Not really. I’m not dressed for this kind of weather. Guess fashionably torn shirts and tight jeans just aren't enough.My only saving grace is my leather jacket.”

You felt more bodies lean into you for warmth. The boys in the band huddling for warmth since you're the only one sporting a faux fleece coat.

“Hey! She’s off limits.” Eddie growls.

“Aw, come on, bruv. I’m practically naked in this top.” Judas says, pressing hard into your shoulder.

“Yeah, sharing’s caring.” Mel chimes in.

“If there’s anything you fuckers should know about me is that I don’t like sharing.” Eddie says pulling you into his body only for the men to follow after.

“Can’t we all just go shopping and get you all some decent clothing? Not rockstar-related?” You say, voice strained from being crushed between them.

“Being a star means sacrificing comfort for style.” Mr. Neds answers.

“That isn’t fair,” You protest. “You wouldn’t want them catching colds before their performances, would you? They need warm clothes.”

Mr. Neds stares you down then up at the boys who defensively reciprocated hostile stares at him.

“Fine. The new tour bus is awaiting us outside. We need to board it quickly or else—“

“Oh my god! It’s Corroded Coffin!” A voice rings through the terminal and soon all eyes around the terminal land on your group. There’s a beat of silence before screams and heavy thuds of feet fill the air. The fans sprint determinedly towards you.

Security immediately pushes you all outside of the terminal, blocking an entrance. The doors of another unmanned entrance burst open as floods of people come crashing through, running towards the tour bus.

You were paralyzed, shocked by the amount of people rushing over until you felt a hand take yours and tug you inside the bus. Another group of bodyguards standing between the doors to keep the crowd from hopping on top of the large vehicle. As best as they could the 4 bodyguards shoo away the crowd before hopping in and the driver quickly pulls off. Everyone on the bus, panting from the exertion of escaping.

“Look at that! Just a small town band, now your name’s being heard in even more places. Told you I’d make Corroded Coffin a household name.” Mr. Neds says proudly.

You exchanged a look with Eddie, who groaned at the manager’s lack of awareness. With stardom came lack of privacy. You felt a foreboding feeling that somehow your privacy would be compromised as well.

—————

“What do you think of this?” Eddie steps out of the dressing room, a man disguised. His outfit consisted of some light gray sweatpants, white kicks, and a basic white long sleeve shirt under his leather jacket. To top it off, his signature wilf curls had been stuffed into his black skully hat for better effect.

“You look great but wouldn’t you want to dress in coordination with your band?” You inquire.

Eddie’s bandmates had done the opposite of dressing casually. Going for the flashiest, expensive clothing.

“Nah, they’ll just end up getting us chased again,” Eddie laughs before looking over his shoulders then whispering. “I’m thinking we ditch ‘em.”

“Eddie…” You began but then suddenly you felt like you were in the mood for an adventure. “Know what…I’m ready for anything. What’d you have in mind?”

He’s taken aback. “The good girl’s looking for trouble?”

“I don’t have to look far. You’re the embodiment of it.” You tease.

“Correct as always, my dear.” He says in a silly posh accent, taking your hand and guiding you to sneak past the guards.

Then, you hear the sound of Eddie’s manager yelling from behind you. “Stop those two!”

You turn to your boyfriend, eyes wide. “Run.”

Next thing you knew, you’re both gunning it out the shopping mall, the bodyguards close behind.

To anyone on the outside, you were simply a rowdy couple caught doing something bad enough to be chased by men in black. After a couple twists and turns around the corner and a few “watch where ya goings”, Eddie leads you down the stairs of a subway station. You were sure you’d lost them until you saw them treading down the stairs a few seconds after.

Eddie pulls out a subway card from his pocket.

“Where’d you get that?” You questioned, panting as you ran.

“I swiped it off one of the guards,” Eddie laughs, also panting. “My dad was a pro pickpocketer.”

“We’ll need to unpack that sometime.”

Swiping the card in the machine, Eddie pushes through the turnstiles but when he swipes the card for your entrance, an error message shows up explaining that you have to wait at least 3 minutes for the next swipe. After a couple tries of the turnstiles not budging, you look over your shoulder and notice the guards closing in.

“What do I do?” You panic.

“Jump over!” He holds out his arms.

Grabbing either side of the gate, you hop over the turnstiles and into his arms just as the men reached you. The two of you resume running, this time having some distance from the guards.

As if your prayers had been answered, a train makes its stop at your station. Rushing in, you and Eddie gloat at the approaching bodyguards as the doors shut and the train pulls away. Clinging to the hand rail above you, you both pant in exhaustion which quickly morphed into laughter.

“You’re a bad influence.” You tease, hitting his shoulder lightly.

“You love it.” He retorts.

The words “you” and “love” in the same sentence. It is so strange that you hung onto them at this moment like they had any meaning outside of its context. But what would it be like to hear those words in a different arrangement? One where it felt more of a confession rather than a dismissive play on words.

Your hand slips caused by the jutting train, sending you out of your thoughts and straight into Eddie’s free arm.

“Geez, kitten. If you wanted a hug, you could’ve just asked,” He jokes. “You don’t have to throw yourself at me.”

Wrapping your arms around his waist, you squeeze tight, cheeks squished against his chest. “I could use one.”

He melts into your embrace with an arm around you while the other keeps you both planted to the ground. It doesn’t matter to him that you were in a crowded train where anyone could spot you together because Eddie felt like he'd taken a trip in a time machine.

He’s like a teenager all over again. Sneaking around and running from the trouble he’s caused, but most of all, he felt this way being with you. Maybe he didn’t get that chance to impress you back then… but he has you now.

So lost in you, he hadn’t registered the light tap on his shoulder until accompanied by a said, “Munson?” From a familiar voice. Eddie turns around and his eyes widened in disbelief.

“Emerson?”

“Holy shit! It is you! Almost didn't recognize you with the hat,” A more mature Gareth stood in your presence. The two boys go in for a bear hug while talking over each other in their excitement. “You look great!”

“Can’t say the same for you, man. You look like shit.” Eddie laughs.

“Fuck off,” Gareth laughs. “I just got off my shift. What are you doing in New York?”

“I should be asking you the same. Hadn’t heard from you or Jeff in 2 years.”

“We moved to New York. They say it’s where everyone’s making a name for themselves.”

“You guys still make music?”

“Hell yeah, we do,” Gareth nods. “Ya know ever since, the band got separated. We knew we couldn’t stop rocking. You wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“Good to hear that, bro.”

“And what about you? What’s gotcha in the big city? Tour, maybe.”

“Not exactly a tour. Just a performance and an interview.”

“Aw shit, man. That’s wicked as hell. Rockstar life’s been treating you good it seems. I bet you get tons of chicks,” Gareth says excitedly, ignorant to Eddie’s panicking glare. “How many girls have you—“

He’s interrupted by you clearing your throat stepping out from behind Eddie. “Hello, Emerson.”

He gasps, pointing between the two of you. “Y/n…Eddie…you two are together?”

“Yep, she’s my girl.” Eddie curls an arm around your waist.

“Wow, I’m honestly surprised considering your first article on him. But Eddie did always have a little thing for you back in high school. I’m sure he made it his mission to win you over.”

“S-shut up, dickhead.” Eddie stutters, blushing.

“You read my article?” You ask, a smile creeping up on your lips.

“Oh, yeah. Everyone’s talking about it especially since Corroded Coffin’s performance at Mantra•esque. If ever I need exposure, I’m calling you for an article on mu band. Speaking of which,” Gareth searches through his jeans pocket, pulling out a flier. “You guys should stop by at this Battle of the Bands event tonight at 10. That’s in a couple hours from now so you won’t have to go back and forth until then. It’s at this cool ass venue they call a ‘speakeasy’ in Koreatown. You’ve gotta have a password and everything to get in that shit. Jeff and I will be performing along with our new guitarist, Brody. You’ll dig him. He’s chill.”

You look in the corner of your eye, feeling Eddie tense beside you at the mention of the new member.

“Our band’s called ‘TSNP’,” Gareth continues. “Thou Shall Not Pass. Will you be there, Eds?”

“I…could try. It’s just that I’ll be busy with rehearsals. So, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it, man.” Eddie lies.

“Oh…right. Well, that sucks,” A hint of disappointment in his tone. “Jeff would’ve been super stoked to see you. Sid, too. But I understand you're a big rockstar now.”

There’s silence between them. You shake your head at the men too prideful in expressing their true feelings despite supposedly being best friends.

The rest of the trip remained this way until the train halts to a stop at another station. When the doors open, Gareth makes his way over to them, stopping in his tracks and turning on his heel to look over at his friend one last time.

“When you left, we stopped making music for a while. Just didn’t feel the same. Then, I heard your song on the radio and it brought me back. It would’ve been really great if you had some time to see us play,” Gareth scans Eddie’s features and when he doesn’t get a reaction from him, he sighs. “Have a good night.” Sending you a small wave, he steps out and train’s moving forward again.

You turn to look at Eddie, arms crossed and disappointed. ”There are no rehearsals. It’s not fair to lie to him like that nor is it fair for you not to come and support. They’re your best friends. You have your band, why can’t they?”

“It’s not like I’m the one who chose to replace ‘em.”

“I know. But it’s okay to admit when something hurts,” You give him a small smile to lighten the mood. “I’m sure it hurt them having to make the decision to replace you just as much as it hurt you performing on a big stage without them. They’re chasing their dreams, too. It doesn’t mean they don’t want you to be a part of it. He did invite you, didn’t he? It’s like he said you’re the reason he was brought back.”

“You’re right.” He sighs.

“Of course, I am. I’m always right,” You tease then solemnly say. “No one’s gonna take that bond you all share. Not unless you continue to push them away.”

He nods, not saying a word. Thinking things over until the train makes another abrupt stop. The two of you exit hand in hand into the unexplored territory.

————

You were a lot more appreciative of the quiet moments you and Eddie sometimes had to yourselves. Where you got bask in the intimacy of normalcy. Lately, ever since Corroded Coffin's popularity, it’s constantly felt as if there were people lurking in the shadows, waiting on your next move.

Although, you must say it’s hard basking in the glory with your boyfriend’s face plastered on billboards around the city.

“Your manager’s not entirely wrong,” You say, pointing at the billboard. “Look at you guys up there. You'll probably be as big as Kiss someday.”

“You flatter me…but no,” He pats your head. “They’re untouchable.”

“I mean it, though. You shook the world. I can’t imagine you wanting to leave it behind now. I thought you wanted this tour.”

“I know what you’re trying to do here and I appreciate you considering my career but I’ve got my priorities straight. It took some thinking—not much—but I didn’t need a lot of time to realize I’d rather be with you.”

You try to contain the butterflies fluttering within you. “Now who’s become soft?”

“Shut it,” He laughs, pulling you against him and planting a kiss on your lips then neck until you suddenly pull away. “Did I do something wrong?”

You take him by the shoulders, guiding him to do a 180 degree turn. “There’s Coney Island in the distance. Wanna go?”

“I’m up for it. But just so you know, I like scary rides.”

“Aw, you don’t have to concoct a scheme to get me to cling to you, baby. I like scary rides, too,” Hands clasped behind your back, you teasingly walk circles around him then ahead towards the direction of the bright lights competing with the starry sky. You look over your shoulder and say, “I’ll still hold onto you, though… you’d like.”

He dramatically fakes offense, resting a hand over his heart. “I’m insulted that you would think I’d stoop so low. When would I ever deny the chance for you to hold onto me?”

“Then, what’re you standing all the way back there for? Come here and let me hold you.” You shout from behind you. Something about today made you feel extremely flirtatious. Maybe it was for the reason that Eddie was incognito, allowing you the chance to unabashedly enjoy each other’s company.

Eddie’s eyes now trained on the sway of your hips. “Just a second. I’m enjoying my view.”

You giggle. He rushes up behind you and wraps his arms around you, rocking you side to side. Your cute little game of cat and mouse comes to an abrupt end when you both enter the theme park and are met with scattered patrons all over the park with their heads buried in a magazine…with your faces on them.

“No.” You say, cupping your hands over your mouth in shock.

“Jesus H. Christ.” Eddie voices his frustration, eyes squeezed shut.

“That bastard,” You say through gritted teeth. You would have said that it was your fault for posting the article regarding Cole’s scandal. But you hadn’t gotten the chance to publish it, yet. “He was going to post it regardless of whether I’d accept his terms.”

You spot a nearby telephone pole. “I’m calling him and giving him a piece of my goddamn mind,” You say, strutting towards the payphone when Eddie grips your arm. You sneer a “what” at him.

“It’s not worth it. He’ll just try to provoke you which’ll then provoke me.”

You groan, running your hands over your face. “What do we do?”

“The only thing we can do: accept it.”

“Should we leave?”

“No. We’ll enjoy our time here while we can because as soon as we go back. We face reality.” Eddie holds out his hand.

You take it, exhaling and proceeding forward. “Okay but as a heads up, I’m definitely going to take down that man.”

“By all means, crush him,” Your boyfriend encourages. “Now let’s make you forget.”

“How do you suppose we do that?”

“Ferris Wheel, possibly. It’s the only ride without a giant line to wait in. We could talk…and other things.”

You snort. “What ‘things’ could you possibly do on a ferris wheel?”

He simply smirks, walking ahead of you this time. The boy is a menace.

You were considerably glad no one had recognized you from the magazine despite a good amount of park goers including the person operating the ferris wheel having the magazine in hand. After waiting in line patiently, it was your turn to board the ferris wheel car and take your seats.

“Some much needed alone time.” Eddie exhales his relief, both your heads thrown back against the wall of cart in exhaustion.

Not soon after exclaiming this, you both hear the sound of gum popping which causes you to raise your heads simultaneously. Seated in the chair across was a child, somewhere between the ages of 7-9, smacking away at her gum and kicking her feet.

“Hi!” She says, cheerfully.

“Hi, sweetie,” You return the greeting. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Beverly. Also Bev. I’m 8 years old! What’s your name?”

“I’m Y/n. That’s Eddie.” You point to Eddie who seemed uncomfortable.

“He looks scared. Are you scared of the ride, Eddie? It’s not scary. See?” Beverly gestures to herself seated.

“You okay, Eddie?” You asked, concerned.

He leans over, whispering to you as not for the little girl to hear. “It’s just…little kids freak me out, ya know. They always ask so many questions, forcing me to question my own existence.”

“It’s okay. I’ll take it from here,”You turned your attention back to the little girl. “Beverly, what are you doing here all alone? Where are your parents or guardians?”

“I wanted to ride the ferris wheel. Mommy said I couldn’t ride because it was bad. But I really wanted to.”

“Sweetie, it’s not okay to disobey your mother. Especially when she means well. She’s probably worried sick looking for you. I have an idea. Once this ride’s over, I’ll help you find her.”

“But she’ll be so angry.”

“Rightfully so, sweetie. But she’ll only be mad because she loves you.”

“So I can’t stay here?”

“You can’t run away from your problems. There’s a time where you’ve gotta face ‘em head on,” You were thinking maybe you should practice what you preach considering that running is exactly what you’ve been doing. “Tell ya what? I will have a talk with your mother to smoothen things over so she wouldn’t be too angry.”

“You promise?” She says, outstretching her arm and holding out her pinky.

“Promise.” You intertwine your pinky with hers.

“So when do you think we’ll get off this ride?” She asks.

“A few minutes or so.” You answered.

“Really? Even when it’s standing still.”

“Standing still?” Your eyes bugged out, looking over at Eddie who was just the same.

“Fuck! The Ferris Wheel’s stopped!” He exclaims.

“No swearing, Eds. Let’s not corrupt the kid.”

“Did you hear what I said?” He groans, standing up in the cart and walking back and forth.

“Yes! And could you please stop that? You’re wiggling the cart around.”

“I can’t help it. I hate confined spaces.”

“It’ll be okay,” You reassure him. “I’m sure it won’t be long before help.

The sound of a safety horn rings and then the click of a bullhorn. “Passengers, we’re experiencing some technical difficulties. Please allow 30 minutes for help to arrive and another 30 minutes to repair this issue. Please stay put and be safe. Thank you.”

“Well, that’s just fantastic.” Eddie throws his hands up before sinking down to the floor, head in his hands.

You sit beside him. “I didn’t know you were claustrophobic.”

“I’m not but sometimes confined spaces remind me of a certain point in my life…Juvie.”

“You’ve been to juvie?” You asked.

“It’s okay not to be surprised,” He laughs. “But yeah, I have.”

“No, I really am surprised. I never considered it,” You assure. “If you don’t mind me asking…how’d it happen?”

“It’s because I wanted to be like my dad. Ya know, the pro pickpocketer. Well, that wasn’t all he taught me. I learned how to hotwire different vehicles, dismantle and rebuild cars, how to pickpocket, taught me the ins and outs of ‘get rich’ quick schemes, taught me how to deal drugs…the whole nine. I remember wanting to be just like him,” He says. “I never cared much when my mother wasn’t around because he was there. Maybe he wasn’t the best father figure or as present as a parent should be. But when he was there, life didn’t seem so bad. Then one day we’re having some beers on the porch—I was 12, by the way—talking shit and listening to greatest hits. The cops came to arrest me because witnesses saw me stealing parts from a car. Parts that my father begged me to steal because he was too high off his own shit to do it himself. In custody, my dad says, ‘Don’t you worry, buddy. I’ll get you outta there.’ I really wanted to believe he was telling the truth.” Eddie laughs dryly, shaking his head.

Then he continues. “That was the last I saw of him and he didn’t even have the decency to look me in the eyes and say he’s sorry. I was sentenced for 6 months. He never visited me and being in that cell, staring up at the ceiling, alone with my thoughts; I realized it was the first time in my life I knew what it meant to be alone. I found out later he’d been arrested not even a month after my sentencing for serious drug charges. Lock up practically for good. Uncle Wayne took me in even when he hadn’t spoken with my dad in years. Hell, he didn't even know I existed until the guards called him looking for an immediate family member who'd be willing to take me in.”

Your heart broke at the sound of that. To know that he had such a rough childhood but he still managed to be Eddie was remarkable.

“I owe Wayne for everything I am now. If it weren’t for him, I would’ve been a dirtbag just like my dad.”

“I’m so sorry.” You say, rubbing his back.

You weren’t sure the right words to say or if you should say anything at all. The little girl, Beverly, slides off her seat, sitting on the ground along with you. Her tiny backpack in front of her as she rummages through it, pulling out a tiny pink book then holds it out to Eddie.

You both look down at it. Eddie, hesitant but otherwise he takes it in his hands.

“My dad is in jail, too,” Beverly says. “Even though I miss him, I think he’s better there than when he’s with me and mommy. At home, he was mean and scary sometimes. Mommy says he’s better now. I think so, too. He calls me princess like he used to. Once he told me that if I'm ever sad or scared, do something I like. He likes to draw. Like me.” She points at the book.

“It’s not creepy drawings of people being buried, is it?” Eddie says, fear sprinkled in his tone.

You discreetly shove his back with your shoulder. “What he means to say is, ‘are you giving us permission to look at your drawings?’”

Beverly nods, a small smile on her face.

Eddie flips through the pages and he’s caught by surprise. They were quite beautifully drawn for something done by an 8 year old. Gothic drawings of birds, spiders, landscapes and such.

“These are actually really cool.” Eddie praises.

“You’ve done these all by yourself?” You ask, also charmed by the work.

“Mhmm,” The little girl hums proudly. “Well, not all of it. Sometimes, dad starts a drawing and I finish it at home. Then, I start a drawing and he finishes it. He says it’s how we can commemorate with each other.”

“I think you mean, ‘communicate’,” You giggle. “That’s a beautiful story, Bev.”

“He also draws on people’s skin,” She adds, pointing to the matching tattoo you and Eddie had gotten. “Like that.”

You smile at your boyfriend, him, back at you in quiet appreciation; reminiscent of your time together so far.

“Hey, kid, I’ve got a friend I’ll be seeing soon,” Eddie grins. “He’s in a new band and I’d like to give him a little gift. I could use some help with creating a new logo for his band. Think you could make one for me while we kill time?”

Beverly beams. “Yeah!”

The little girl immediately takes out art supplies from her bag, taking the book for him to start on a new blank page.

“Did you mean that? We’re going to Gareth’s show?”

He nods, squeezing your hand. “Yeah.”

“Don’t just sit there?” Beverly chastises. “Gimme some ideas.”

Eddie chuckles, leaning over the page and springing ideas with her while you watch in amusement.

————

After 50 minutes, Eddie and Beverly became a close pair. You’d barely spoken with how much the two had gotten along.

“And she’s all, ‘You’re not invited because you’re weird.’” Beverly says in a mocking tone.

“No.” Eddie says in disbelief.

“Yeah and everyone in class had an invitation. She’s always been a real bully. Sometimes she shoves me, pulls my hair…and it makes me angry. Like I want to hurt her.”

Eddie scoffs. “I’ve known asshats like that back in school, too. Wouldn’t even look in my direction because I didn’t have the latest shoes or clothes.”

“Language, Eddie.”

“Sorry, I meant ‘butthats’,” Eddie says, causing Beverly to giggle wildly and nearly color outside the lines. Eddie whispers. “Some advice: don’t stoop down to a bully’s level because then you’ll become a bully, too. It happened to me. I thought solving everything with fists would somehow get people to stop messing with me but it only made me feel worse. It’s okay to stand up for yourself but it’s also okay to tell someone what you're going through. Like an adult.”

You smile at his advice, realizing that he’d listened to you.

He’s becoming really mature.

“However, she did hit you first so it’s only fair game that you get to hit her back.” He adds.

Ooh, so close.

“All done!” Beverly holds up the drawing.

Eddie takes the page, scanning it. It was of a spider spinning a web in the shape of a guitar, a giant cross in the background. It looks badas—“ You shoot him a look. “It’s really cool, kid.”

A whirring sound picks up and the ride’s moving again, the three of you erupt in cheers. When you’d finally reached the bottom, a woman full of fear stood there waiting on the sidelines. Her eyes lit up the moment she saw Beverly.

“Bev! Baby.” Her mother sobs in relief, arms opened wide.

“Mommy!” The little girl jumps into the mother’s arms.

“What did I tell you about leaving my side?! I knew you’d be here. You just don’t quit, do you?” Her mother scolds.

“Ahem.” Beverly says, clearing her throat cuing you.

“Hello, Beverly’s mother,” You waved, introducing yourself. “It’s wonderful meeting you. I’m Y/n and this is Eddie. We found her riding alone and talked about searching for you when the ferris wheel stopped.”

“Hello. Please call me Martha,” She introduces herself. “I told her that ferris wheel’s always giving up. I’m so sorry. I hope she didn’t cause any trouble with you. She can be quite the handful.”

“No. She was an angel. Even drew us a picture.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Bev,” Her mother smiles down at her. “Thank you so much for keeping her happy. She’s usually scared to ride those things alone. If there’s any way I could thank you…”

“Oh no, that won’t be necessary.” You protest.

“No, no. I’ve got it! If ever you need help planning an event—maybe a party or… wedding,” She darts her eyes between the two of you, handing you a business card. “That's my number right there. I’m a wedding and event planner.”

You blush, profusely. “Umm, okay.”

“Let’s go, Beverly. Say goodbye to the nice people.”

She pouts. “Will I see you guys again?”

You let Eddie have this one. He crouches down to her level and says, “I think so. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be needing a wedding planned or whatever,” You were now blushing so hard that the heat from your face could warm you enough from the cold weather. “Or maybe I could get some cool tattoo ideas from the artist herself.” He finishes, winking at her.

The girl beams. Then, she and her mother were on their way. Eddie, waving at her until they couldn’t see each other anymore.

You smirk at him. “Well, would you look at that. You’ve overcome your fear of children.”

“She’s pretty cool. Reminds me a lot of myself.”

“She’s very special. Bright, too. I think she’s helped me work out a lot up there than any therapy session I’ve had in years.”

“Somehow the universe keeps sending people our way because you and I could use a little push. We’re very stubborn people, ya know. Although, I’m a Taurus. What’s your excuse?”

You laughed. “So are we going to this show or are we going to discuss signs now?”

“Don’t you wanna debate how un-Taurus like I am,” He jokes. “Alright. Let’s go so see TSNP. Dumb name by the way. Hope Gareth didn’t come up with it.”

“Do you think we’ll make it to their performance on time?”

“I think so. But if we don’t, I’d still like to go for the support,” He smiles and curls an arm around your shoulders. “Then you and I could go back and face reality.”

You rest your head on his, walking out of the park; ignorant to the magazines with your faces on them.

Taglist: @that-idiot125 @strangerthingsstories5255 @haylaansmi @tlclick73 @chcolateeyelver @apolixyan @micheledawn1975 @maystecc @gay-weirdo262772 @itswormtrain @httpmedxsa @3m0xbunn1 @bebe0701 @lokiofasgard616 @joeyfilth @secretdryrose @sammararaven @cherrytree69 @bimbobaggins69 @nicolaj1978 @idgafboutyou @eddiesgffff @briasnow-blog @sweetdreamer1010 @sleepyghostygirl @babeyglo @idkidknemore @e0509 @brittney69 @samunson83 @hellfire-puppet @moonisu @mopeymopeymouse @lluviamg06 @shinydixon @cherrysoda444 @lovelyvivii @therese01 @keiracottreau @mirrorsstuff @eddiemunson95 @e-munson666 @munson-fixation @paradoxicalconundrum @lulukings92 @sherrylyn628 @szalipcombo @elamity @munsonswhore86 @kellsck @die-irre-blog @creoleguurl @edsforehead @munsonswhore86 @websterss @screaming-blue-bagel @ick90

[gureshinlover]

There's one comment in an old mysmes Reddit thread, and when I read it some months ago it made perfect sense to me, and I love the way it's written. These paragraphs literally built the base of my opinions about Ray Route when I started replaying his route this year. So I wanted to share it and see what yall also think!

Again: this is not my writing!!! It's by reddit user embergate

I know how you feel. I fell in love with Ray, and then he went away and never came back. But, if you're determined to go through with it for some reason, it can help to understand what's going on with Saeran, and why he speaks the way he does.

Rika is kind enough to explain to you that Saeran uses you as a replacement for Ray. You can also figure it out yourself almost instantly because the things he's saying to MC and the things Ray is saying to himself are identical.

Once, he gives you a picture of a cake when he's starving you. This is a direct reference to the dream he had about his mother doing the same to him. He spoke of his dream before in a phone conversation, as Ray.

Once, he even says to MC "so that's why you live grooming flowers", which clearly does not apply to MC, but does to Ray.

So, when Saeran is speaking abuse to you, imagine a big mirror in front of you. He's not talking to you, he's talking to himself. Very rarely he addresses MC directly. In order to get the true essence of the conversation, you need to swap all "you"s with "I"s.

When you're replying to Saeran, imagine that you're Ray. How would you like Ray to behave when he's starved, isolated, abused, assaulted? Do you want him to cower, or do you want him to stand firm? Then reply how you want him to reply. He doesn't know how to be strong, but he will learn it from observing you. Keep holding that mirror in front of him until he finally sees his reflection. He can't leave the Mint Eye unless he gets stronger. Who said that healing with a power of love was easy?

Rika is also doing exactly the same thing Saeran is doing, imitating her mother in the way she treats her believers. When Saeran finally realizes that, he breaks free from Rika.

Also, lol about the smell... Yeah, for someone who says he doesn't like it, Saeran sure is highly aware of MC's face and smell all the time, to the point of obsession. He keeps saying that he wants to see her face. He even installs a camera to watch her and if you ask him "you want to see me 24/7"? he replies "yes" without a second's hesitation. Especially funny is the fact that he encrypts the camera so that nobody else can use it, and Rika rages about it later on. Also I find it hilarious when he attempts to break into MC's room not once, or twice, but thrice in a short time. Apparently he can't stand being apart from MC any longer.

My biggest problem with Saeran was not all that abuse, but rather than single conversation where he pretends to be Ray. He says that Ray didn't really like MC, and he was simply lonely and wanted someone not to leave him. I... believe he was speaking the truth.

So there's no romance here. Not really. But, remember that conversation between Ray and MC in the beginning.

MC: I thought it was a dating simulator.

Ray: Saving someone is more worthwhile than dating someone, don't you think?

...But... I still can't forget that phone call with Ray when he sang me a lullaby....

[anonil88]

I see the gays are going to loose their minds over Jasmin's public journey with queerness. And some of you are sounding a lil too much like Afterellen writers.

To yall and to anyone who feels the same as her might i suggest this interview:

Or any of these links / books. which i'm using good reads links so you can see the triggers or content warnings to not be blind sided.

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg (good reads link but you can find the book for free) tw assault, this is not a book for minors

Zami by Audre Lorde (good reads)

My Gender Workbook (good reads) and Gender Outlaws: both the original and the 2010 version by Kate Bornstein

This SLATE article from 2015 (slate article) (wayback in case that link breaks)

These reddit posts with a valley of insight in the comments from older much older queer, gay, and lesbian people: Thread 1 Thread 2

A study done in 2009

Bodies in Relation—Bodies in Transition (article here)

Youtube videos and maybe a documentary

Queer Theory 101- Part 1- An open discussion with Ben Bateman- 30 min and there are 2 parts (go to youtube)

Brief Lecture Introducing Concepts of Queer Theory with Professor Matt Alberhasky- 10 min (go to youtube)

Judith Butler explaining Gender Theory- 13 min (youtube) and their book Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity (good reads): and i will quote them here "Stumbling is a part of learning and making an error is a part of learning." & "Many people who refuse to allow trans people to define themselves is that they feel their own self definition is destabilized."

The Aggressives (free tubi link but you can arrgh matey it if you try hard enough) , a 2005 documentary, directed by Eric Daniel Peddle. An insightful exposé on the subculture of masculine presenting POC and their "femme" counterparts. Filmed over five years in NYC, the featured subjects share their dreams, secrets and deepest fears. Some of the AGs in this video identify as trans men, non binary, or bi now but all of their experiences are valid.

And if you were wondering yes, yes i do love researching and having references. Its fun.

This might be shocking but there are older lesbians and i am talking the most butch blue collar trades dyke with silver strands who have done way more things that would make some of y'all squeem because its not within this very linear view of what some people view should be everyone's exact labeled experience should be. And yes they still fully identify as lesbians and are in very long term commited lesbian relationships their past has just been a lot. No two people are the same and many people will have a definition similar to you but an entirely different and layered experience. This also includes experiences and journeys with labels that you are going to feel uncomfortable with if they open up about the journey that it took them on to get to the same label you use. I tend to say that is for thee does not have to be for me. Sometimes the moments of others journey albeit will be cringey to you and others but they aren't directly harmful to you and your experience. No matter what we will all still be hit on by people and certain demographics that we do not want to be hit on, because they do not care. Tearing apart your communities in person and online over drivel and people just on their journey whilst learning does nothing for us when that is what those in opposition are banking on. Now unclench and breathe.

[a-slut-for-smut]

Nanamin deserves better than Mei Mei

Don’t forget how creepy she is towards Ui Ui

Ya know, I really wish people were more willing to think critically about the stories they consume vs taking every at face value. Sure, when you see something questionable in a story, question it, but immediately writing off the story/story element as “problematic” just because you don't like it or triggers you is such a disservice not only to the storyteller but also yourself by stunting your own media literacy skills.

As ive addressed why NanaMei pair well in previous asks, i'll focus more on the controversy revolving around Mei Mei because its something i really want to get off my chest. The more i think about the arguments made against her the more i get these puritanical and anti feminist/non-conformist vibes from them and its really concerning to say the least.

She's Greedy/Selfish

Yes, shes money hungry. She shamelessly honest with what she likes and what she wants; she has a personal code/credo and stanchly follows it and its hard not to respect that energy. She's motivated and grounded in a way that seems out of place in the 'sorcerers must protect humans' fantasy world, but in the real world? Of course we'd look out for our own self-interest/preservation- shes as real and relatable as they come. She's logically driven (vs emotionally) and honestly if she was a man i bet the fandom wouldn't blink an eye (and prob would slobber all over him) but as always God forbid women have a strong sense of self and refuse to conform to the patriarchal ideals of what a woman should be.

THAT panel

A lot of the fandom screaming in*cest & p*edophile for this panel and i'll admit not surprised it raised eyebrows but not really reading this as sexual. Yes theres nudity, but body language makes it pretty obvious if nudity is sexual or not and well, its not- and how the first thing fandom thinks is "omg they f*cked" because shes topless or whatever is very telling. It's not a stretch to think she would be comfortable with nudity and a sense of propriety seems out of character with someone as shameless as her. She probably splurges on 1000 thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets with all the money she makes, who wouldnt regularly sleep nude on those?

As for UiUi its inferred he used his CT to escape/save their lives directly before, all the more reason he would be tired. Mei Mei even apologies for waking him, implying his CT exerts him and he should rest for the day. Ui UI’s “oh my how shameless!” is said in surprise, indicating he probably blacked out after his CT and woke up fully clothed in bed with her, NOT that he’s tired from having a wild night banging his sister 🙄

I wonder about the japanese dialogue and if there is any nuance/context lost from the english translation, but I interpreted her "Do you not like me that way" was in reference to the shamelessness of her personality, essentially asking him "do you not like me the way I am?" and not her nude body because the translation used "that way" vs "this way", the latter being suggestive. And the fact that they shared a bed to sleep didnt seem OOC given their close familial dynamic.

Sibling Relationship

Its established in-universe that they are "calculating", so naturally they work very much in tandem as far as motivations go and re-enforced from what we seen in their battle tactics. Clearly Mei Mei is offense and 99% of the time can handle any issue on her own, but for that 1% she cant? Thats where Ui Ui steps in.

Ui Ui would never be in danger if Mei Mei is around, and fandom seems to ignore this fact when they say Mei Mei manipulates him to self-sacrifice himself (and her crows) for her benefit. If Mei Mei is fighting and her life's at risk, yall think Ui Ui (or the crows for that matter) stand a chance?? Maybe if he could teleport away himself which is what his CT suggests, but who really knows, and more importantly would he even consider abandoning his sister from what we seen?

I see it as a failsafe CT, only to be used in emergencies since it drains him considerably as Malaysia scene suggests- which is why he wholeheartedly waits (and binding vow) for permission from her to use it, not as a form of control or abuse or simply to please her, but to know if/when as accordance to the battle strategy mapped out by her. Shes shown as a tactician/extremely logical when it comes to battle and will use whatever is at her disposal to win if it means self-preservation (even if it means abandoning the battlefield altogether). Her loyalty is to herself above all.

And her asking “are you willing to die for me” is literally asking consent- she is asking, 'this could be the end- will you do what’s necessary for me to win this?' To which he resoundingly concurs, seemingly out of devotion but realistically if she dies where would that leave him? It’s as natural a response as one could be- in nature mothers will fight tooth & nail to protect their offspring, but at the cost of her life? What would be the point??? Offspring wouldn’t be able to survive without her, they’d be good as dead.

As far as their dynamic, there is clear affection from both sides- Mei Mei is more playful while Ui Ui is reverent. Ui Ui adores her, not atypical of a much younger sibling, but especially so given how accomplished Mei Mei is. It's stated that she inherited their weak family cursed technique, but rather than be solely defined by it, she trained herself to the maximum physical limit, THEN mastered her so called "weak" technique into one of the strongest out there (probably why she acknowledges Maki as a promising sorcerer, she sees herself in her).

If that isn't admirable than i dont know what is, and if GOJO of all people respects her, then thats saying something. But while he respects her and acknowledges her strength, does he trust her? Probably not, not like he does with Utahime who is supposedly "weak" in comparison. And i personally like that dynamic- despite not trusting her to "do the right thing" and expecting her to be self-serving, Gojo knows/respects her as a person and fellow sorcerer. Gege gives us layered interpersonal relationships between multi-faceted characters and yet so many are quick to reduce them to a single trope and its a little sad honestly.

In conclusion, yall need to relax on the pearl-clutching and have a little more perspective by all means hate on her if you dont like her but at least hate her accurately lol

[sehtoast]

Writer Tag

Thanks for the tag @venus-haze <3

How many works do you have on AO3? 29

What's your total AO3 word count? 230k

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Tender Threads

Satisfy Me

One Big Wet Spot

Say Please

The Hand That Feeds

(All Homelander fics) ^

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Most of the time, but lately I haven't had the energy or the time. My social battery is pretty fucked, but I do read every single one of them and love them

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? So it's technically unpublished, but it basically ends with Ben (my oc) sentencing himself to die pretty painfully alongside Homelander with that thing that got revealed in Gen V. If you know you know

What’s the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Honestly, Envy.

Do you write crossovers? I've done an AU crossover for the same fandom, but not really

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Most of the hate I get is in my tumblr inbox. I haven't really done/said anything about it bc no one really wants to see or hear about it tbh, but I've gotten a fair amount of shit for pairing homie with a guy and then also more for pairing him with a trans guy. I think the only ao3 hate i ever got was barely even hate, more like someone bitching that my tender threads formatting wasn't to their liking bc it's Y/n formatted

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yessir yessir. Honestly just whatever i'm vibin with

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i'm aware although i don't think i've written anything steal-worthy

Have you ever had a fic translated? no, but @anon-nee has been my personal jesus christ in helping me make sure my english to german translations in tender threads has been accurate. love you nonnums <3

Have you ever co-written a fic before? technically no, but @homelanderbutbig did a collab with me and made this to pair with a fic i wrote, which i feel like is co-creation so i'm gonna say yes anyway. love you HBB <3

What's your all-time favorite ship? honestly i don't really have one, unless i can count my ocxcanon ship in which case it's benlander

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? i have a depowered homelander fic where ben answers the door one day and ryan, now in his late teens, is there to finally see homie again after all those years went by. i adore the concept but i'm like NEVER in the mindset i need to actually write something like that

What are your writing strengths? yall got strengths?

What are your writing weaknesses? all of them

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i think it's fine so long as there's clarification shortly after for the readers who may not understand, and also that you've somehow gotten it cross checked by someone who actually speaks the langauge so ensure you're not just saying some wild shit. but ultimately do whatever makes you happy idk bro i don't make the rules

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Prometheus! i was am down so bad for david omg

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? astarion/tav. i wanna write something sooooo bad but i just can't get in the headspace for it

What's your favorite fic you've written? probably satisfy me because the role swap was incredibly fun and it's REALLY fucking cool to unbind homelander from his own behavioral patterns and manifest them into a reader's concept. like, of everything i've written, i could most clearly imagine everything that happened in that fic and i'd find myself grinning like a sick fuck while writing about literally eviscerating a man's chest cavity lmao

No pressure tags: @blindmagdalena @hom3landr @irenadel @slasher-smasher and anyone else who wants to participate

[illiana-mystery]

WIP Wednesday

Since I gave you a taste of my work in progress for the Dafoeverse fics I've been writing last week, I decided to give you a dose of what I have written for the Molinaverse fics that have been put on indefinite hiatus.

Because I love yall, I appreciate your patience with my ever changing phases (like I'm the goddamn moon), and I've left you on read for far too long.

Also, side note, if any of you have suggestions about how I should go about continuing any of these WIPs, please let me know in the replies, my ask box, or DMs. Thank you! 😘

---

Covert Affairs (this one goes out to @freddiefredfive)

Rafi was talking to Donnie when they walked back in and Leo was nowhere in sight. Kazia figured he was back upstairs with Jeanine, so didn't think anything of it.

But the remaining brothers were talking and laughing loudly and didn't even notice that Tadeusz and Kazia were in the room until Rafi noticed the young woman.

He was staring offly hard with his big brown eyes that perfectly complimented his baby face and reddish cheeks.

He looked like Leo, but had skin as smooth as a baby's bottom and his hair was curly and styled nicely on his head.

Kazia could immediately tell that he probably thought highly of himself, since the threads he was wearing were of high expense and quality.

"Well, hello," he said seductively before he realized that Tadeusz was standing next to her.

Tadeusz scowled at him before he nervously laughed and put his head down.

But next thing he knew, he was grabbed by his collar by the older, taller, stronger man.

"Kazia's mine, got it?" he angrily said before he plucked his head.

"Yeah, yeah. I was just playing, buddy. You know Layla is my girl. I love her so much...I just wish she wanted to marry me..."

"I don't care," he sternly said. "Now, let's have a chat."

He dragged the poor young man away, much to Kazia and Donnie's horror.

"You like them rough, huh?" Donnie teased after.

"Not usually," Kazia admitted before pushing a strand of hair behind her ear and blushing. "But Tadeusz is different."

"If you say so," Donnie moaned.

Meanwhile, Tadeusz brought Rafi to one of the backrooms and threw him down before he closed and locked it behind them.

"Who's that Rudy guy?" he sternly asked.

"Tadeusz, do you have history with him or something? Why do you care?"

"My punching fist might be out of commission, but I'll use my other on your pretty little face if you don't answer what I asked you!"

"Okay, okay," Rafi flinched. "He's just a friend of mine. Well, actually he knew Layla first. They have mutual friends and when she introduced him to me, I knew he would be a perfect fit for our familgia."

"Oh, I see," he softly said as he paced. "So we don't even properly vet members anymore. Oh, silly me. Now, tell me Rafi, why do you think you can trust him?"

"I mean I am a good judge in character."

"Yes, Layla is a lovely girl," Tadeusz sarcastically said. "But you really aren't cut out for this life. What would you do if your brothers' lives were snuffed out...one by one? What if you had no one to hold you hand?"

Rafi was about to reply before Tadeusz cut him off again.

"Because I was once naive like you. I thought seeking quick, easy money would be heaven in Belarus...but it wasn't. I was betrayed many times and every time it became harder and harder to take their lives away," he coldly said.

"Until it wasn't anymore. It was just something that had to be done. You cross me, you die. It's as simple as that. So I say all of this to say, Rafi, you better watch that Rudy fella or I'll be forced to take both of you out, painfully...very painfully. Got it?!" 

"Yes, of course."

"Good, glad we had this talk. Now come on. You didn't properly introduce yourself to MY Kazia."

"Right," he moaned as he trembled while getting up.

But Tadeusz just yanked him again and brought him back into the room by his arm. He dropped him again and the young man fell so hard it made both Donnie and Kazia jump.

"Hello, Kazia," he greeted. "I'm Raphael Scaglioni, but everyone calls me Rafi. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," she softly said as he got up.

She shook his hand and then he went over by Donnie.

Kazia looked at Tadeusz confused, but he just put his hand on her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

"Nie przejmuj się. Chciałem tylko zapytać go o Rudy ' ego." (Don't be alarmed. I just wanted to ask him about Rudy), he told her. "Rozumie tylko siłę." (He only understands force)

"Nie jestem zaskoczony," (I'm not surprised), she replied back. "On naprawdę wydaje się trochę przytłumiony." (He really does seem a little dim)

"To dlatego, że jest." (That's because he is)

"Prawo." (Right)

"Everything alright, Tadeusz?" Donnie asked as his little brother still hid behind him.

"Yes, everything is fine," he softly said.

Donnie didn't believe him though. He only spoke Polish, usually to himself, when he was angry or frustrated around them. Kazia nervously giggled before her stomach started growling.

"Sorry."

"No need to apologize," Tadeusz assured with another kiss on her cheek. "Well, if you would excuse us, I'm gonna take Kazia back upstairs to eat and meet Layla."

"Of course," Donnie said before they both headed back up the secret staircase behind the replica Trevi Fountain.

The secret door closed by itself behind them once their feet touched the hardwood floor of the cafe and when it did, it startled Marla and Layla. They both jumped before they both smiled at the young couple.

Tadeusz and Kazia smiled back but Kazia noticed that Jeanine and Angelo weren't there anymore.

But there was one customer at one of the tables by the painted Union Jack that was munching on a croissant while watching videos on their laptop.

This person was wearing noise canceling headphones, so they were completely unaware of what was going on around them.

---

Jealousy

"I don't know what I want to wear," Alice whined as she frantically looked through all of her clothes hanging up in the closet.

Her husband, meanwhile, was sitting on their bed, just watching her.

He began to worry that she was gonna have a panic attack again, so he tried to lighten the mood.

"I don't see why you can't wear what you have on now. You look gorgeous."

Alice giggled.

"Thank you, Aldie. But I want to make a good first impression and an red and brown plaid overall skirt and creme shirt just isn't gonna cut it," she said. "I want to wear something a little fancier."

"I don't see what the problem is. We met Rodney before and in overalls."

"I know, but he has Shaye with him. I do want to start making some friends around here."

"She's no friend until I vet her," Alden grumbled.

"Of course," Alice quickly agreed. "I trust your judgment."

The way she said that made Alden worry again since she sounded like she was about to cry. So he got up and walked over to her, rubbing her shoulders again to comfort her.

"Alice, it's gonna be alright," he whispered. "Although we are safe, I still can't help but be cautious. I don't want anyone to hurt you the way he did again."

"Oh, Alden. It isn't that. I just...even far away from home I still feel unsafe. I hate that I can't just trust people anymore."

"Not all people are untrustworthy," he said before he moved his hands down to her midsection. "Just take a deep breath."

Alice did as she was instructed and as she did so, she suddenly felt herself being picked up and brought over to their bed.

She kept her eyes closed though and allowed Alden to put her down on the middle of the bed.

"Keep deep breathing," he instructed before he hiked her skirt up and slowly took her panties off.

Once discarded, he began to softly kiss her inner thighs before he finally went for the kill. Alice was still trying to keep her deep breathing up during all of this, but then her breath hitched as soon as she felt his tongue inside her.

She, at first, gasped before she got her breaths back up and began to deep breath again. Her heart was beating so fast in her chest as her lover kept going, teasing an amazing orgasm out of her. She tried to hold it back and tightly gripped the sheets below her, but eventually she broke and loudly moaned as she climaxed.

But she didn't just climax, she also squirted a little which amused her husband. She could clearly hear him giggling between her legs, before the sound of joyous slurping invaded her auditory sense.

"I'm sorry," she nervously apologized.

"Don't be," he whispered before he kissed her lower lips. "I haven't gotten you that excited in quite some time."

She giggled.

"Yeah, I haven't had that reaction since before...the first time...he appeared..." she realized before she started to cry. "I'm sorry, Aldie. I just...I just..."

Alden immediately picked himself up and grabbed Alice before he held her in his lap and began to sing to her again to calm her down.

"It's alright, Misu. I won't let him hurt you. I won't let him get near you ever again."

Alice didn't respond, she just kept crying with her head nudged on his shoulder. He gently rubbed her back, still singing a little to her.

But as he sung, his mind went dark...real dark.

He knew he would gain so much joy taking away the life of the man that hurt his wife so. But he had to stop himself.

He had to.

He couldn't risk going to jail. It wasn't worth it.

But yet, it felt so inticing. It felt like a sure fire way to get rid of him once and for all, but he knew Alice would be against it. It was her battle to fight, after all he was her old flame.

She never wanted to put Alden in the middle of this, but now here he was. Here he was miles away from the place he used to call home, consoling his anxious and brow beaten wife in their so-say dream home.

The man took everything from them. So was he in the wrong to want to cause him the most harm he could?

He still kept his singing up, well until Alice stopped crying and moved her hand to his cheek.

He just looked at her before she leaned over and kissed him.

"I love you so much, Aldie," she softly said.

"I love you too, Misu."

She lightly smiled and was about to kiss him again before her phone began to ring.

Alden kissed her cheek and reached for the phone that was closer to him before he handed it to her.

"Hey Nick," she greeted. "What's up?"

"I just finished watching your first local interview," he started. "I love the storefront. It's gorgeous."

"Thank you," Alden smugly said. "It makes a perfect bookstore."

"It really does. Nice taste, man," he said with a laugh. "Also I can't believe Lori Amato is your cousin."

"That's what I'm saying! I was fangirling a little too hard. But she's so nice," Alice chirped. "His whole extended family is so sweet. They've been nothing but friendly."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that. I also see that you have a lot of new fangirls, Alden. There are a lot of thirst comments on this video."

"I don't see why. I'm not the stern Dr. Bertanelli of Middleburg University anymore."

"So," Alice huffed. "You're still handsome and fine as hell and these girls agree with me."

"You're not mad?" he asked.

"Why would I be? I don't get jealous like you do," she joked. "They can say whatever they want, but at the end of the day, you're sleeping next to me."

He chuckled and kissed her nose.

"Also, I noticed that the amount of views and comments on our first video with Alden performing with us as Java Joe's has gone up by a lot."

"Really?" they both asked.

"Yep, really. We also have a lot of returning reviewers to our second performance with Alden. Most of the viewers are from Navassa, of course."

"Wow, well maybe we'll have to get the band back together...for the sake of the fans," Alden said.

"I'd be down. I'm sure Quinn would be too. Adam's a father now so it might be a bit difficult and then Mitzi and Maisie have their own band, Ungaii, now but maybe I could intice them."

---

Ring Around the Rosie

"Dinner's ready!" Sabrina called from the stairs while Otto and the actuators were setting up the dining room table and bringing the stew and the freshly-baked soda bread to the table.

As soon as Flo placed the last fork down, Rosie came down with Mallory in her grasp, while Margaux clung to her free arm.

She was giggling with them which made Sabrina smile before Rosie put Mallory down for both of the girls to greet their mother.

They both hugged and kissed Sabrina, then ran to the table and took their seats.

"They're such wonderful girls," Rosie told Sabrina as they walked to the table together.

"Yes, yes they are," Sabrina chirped before she took her designated seat.

Otto led Rosie to her seat while Harry cut the bread and Flo and Moe helped scoop the stew unto Margaux and Mallory's bowls.

"Daddy," Margaux asked.

"Yes, Rosie Posie?" he answered back while he took his seat, watching as Flo and Moe went ahead and put the stew in the adults' bowls too.

She giggled.

"What's this?"

"It's Irish Stew and Soda Bread," Otto answered. "Thom Donaghue's recipe."

"Who's that?" Mallory asked.

"My father," Rosie excitedly answered with a big smile, making the girls giggle. "And your father learned the recipe and now he's able to make it for us."

"He's never made it before," Margaux admitted.

"I wanted to make it for Rosie. To welcome her back into our family," Otto explained.

"It was my favorite meal my father would cook for us," Rosie added. "It was also the first meal he had with my parents. He was so nervous to meet them but then he and my father bonded over Tolkien."

"Who's Tolkien?" Margaux asked.

"He's a wonderful author. He wrote fantasy novels. His literature was a great escape for me when I was younger."

"He wrote The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings," Rosie added. "Are you familiar with those books?"

"I didn't know they were books. But I know of the movies," Margaux answered.

"Otto, you need to get them into the books," Rosie nudged. "Have I taught you nothing? They love literature. I'm sure they wouldn't mind sharing your love of Tolkien with you."

"How many books did you read to them upstairs?" Sabrina suddenly asked.

"Just three. But they are so inquisitive and curious. They're two bright little girls. Well advanced beyond their age."

"Thank you!" they both chirped.

"Would you be interested in learning more about Tolkien?" he asked them.

They both nodded, so he said, "Well, alright. Guess we're gonna be taking another trip to the library."

The girls both cheered.

"But until then, we can watch The Hobbit tonight if you would like. We do have Family Movie Night on Fridays. And Rosie, you're welcome to watch the movie with us."

"Where can we watch The Hobbit?" Otto asked Sabrina.

"We have a subscription with the parent company of our SmartTV. You can rent it or buy it on their website."

"Oh, well guess we have our movie for movie night!" he cheered.

Rosie giggled after taking her first bite of the stew.

"Otto, you really outdid yourself. This is really good."

"Thank you," he said with a genuine smile.

"You're welcome," she said before taking another bite.

"I suppose he used to spoil you too with his cooking."

"We would switch nights to cook, but when it was his turn. He always blew me away. I'm not surprised though. Maria was a wizard in the kitchen. She always had the best side dishes at my family's parties."

"Maria was close to your parents?" Sabrina asked Rosie.

"Oh, yeah. After his father died, she would come around all the time. We loved having her."

"How nice," Sabrina cooed.

"Sabrina," Rosie started. "I must say I love the way you decorated this home. Otto told me you picked out most of the decor and I'm impressed. Also I love the crushed flowers hanging on the walls in the guest room. It just takes me back to our old apartment and my old office at the university."

"I figured you would," she said. "We actually bought those for our old apartment when it was just us two. Otto told me how much you loved crushed flowers so I decided to get them since I love them too."

"My mother and I used to make scrapbooks of different flowers we would find around the yard," Rosie started. "I would pick them and show them to her before we would crush them and add them to the book."

"Small world," Sabrina chirped. "That's what I used to do with my grandmother back in Atlanta."

"No way!" Rosie chirped. "Well, now we have another reason why Otto fell for you."

"I guess so," she joked. "But wait, are you from NYC?"

"No, no. I'm from Rochester but moved to NYC when I got accepted to Columbia University."

"Oh, gotcha. I'm from Atlanta originally, but moved here to pursue my dreams of being on Broadway. Of course my dreams changed when I met Otto and especially when we had the girls, but I love my life. I wouldn't change a thing."

"Glad to hear it," Rosie said. "It's funny because my dreams changed too when I met Otto on those steps. I was planning on moving to Belfast and being a professor there, but then he knocked me off my feet with his science know-how and dorky smile."

"Am I that charming?" he asked before blushing.

"Don't flatter yourself too much," Rosie warned. "No one looks good with a big head."

"Fair," he moaned before taking a bite of his soda bread.

"Mommy," Mallory asked.

"Yes, Muffin?"

"Can Rosie stay with us?"

"Yeah, can she?"

"Well, I hope she can. Your father did set up the guest room all nice for her."

"Rosie?" Margaux asked with big puppy dog eyes. "Would you like to stay with us?"

"I would love to," she answered before looking at Otto. "I see she has your puppy dog eyes."

"Yeah, she's my little twin."

"Daddy, can she tell us a bedtime story tonight?" Margaux asked.

"Am I not good enough to read you a story anymore?" he asked with a whiny tone. "I thought you liked Story Time with Sailor Aubrey."

"We do, daddy," Margaux assured. "But we..."

"Margaux, how about this. What if Sailor Aubrey had a first mate? How about we have Story Time with Sailor Aubrey and First Mate Annie?"

"Anne is her middle name," Otto whispered to Sabrina, noticing her confused face.

"Yay! I like that! Can we do that, daddy?"

"Sure we can, Rosie Posie," he told her. "Thank you, Rosie."

"Of course. I hope you don't mind, Sabrina."

"Oh, no. I don't. I let Otto handle story time. I handle bath time."

"Okay, good. The last thing I want to do is ruin your groove."

"Oh, no, you're fine, Rosie. Thank you for being considerate though." 

"No problem," she said. "So what's for dessert?"

---

Jolly Ol' Saint Otto

Imag'n Toy Boutique was not too far from their Chelsea townhome, so it was a quick, quiet drive.

Their parking lot was behind the building, so Otto slowly turned the corner and parked in the empty space next to the back entrance.

He got out of the car first, taking in the crisp cool air as his breath was first taken away in a wisp of cold smoke as he took a first.

His actuators, who were once out and free huddled next to his vehicle's heater, quickly tucked themselves tight inside his big coat, jittering from the cold sensation they were forced to feel.

And although Otto was freezing and shaking in his coat, he couldn't help but adore how adorable Sabrina's reaction was to the snow.

The whole ride there she was silently humming Christmas carols while watching the snow fall, making his heart skip a beat.

Slowly, he opened her door and helped her out. She giggled and twirled around in the snow fall after she was released making her cold husband laugh in delight.

Swiftly, he joined her before she ran over and hugged him. He tightly hugged her back, enjoying the fluffinest of her coat as well as her natural warmth before he remembered the task at hand.

"We should have a snowball fight," she cooed as they walked gloved hand and hand to the front entrance.

He chuckled and answered, "After we finish shopping. I think there's probably enough snow in the parking lot to do that."

"Okay," she happily chirped.

They didn't even manage to fully get through the front door before the owner jumped out from the back to greet them.

She had a very happy attitude with a big white smile to boot. Her very curly red hair was bouncing in the reintroduced wind that the open door brought while her blue-green eyes twinkled in the bright lights about her.

"Hello, welcome to Imag'n!" she cheered before she realized who was standing in her doorway.

It was like she lost her train of thought as she stared at her customers, immediately noticing the actuators popping out of the bottom of Otto's coat to enjoy the warmth from the store's heater.

She squealed and ran over to them.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I can't believe you're in my store. I'm such a big fan, Sabrina."

"Oh," she chirped. "Would you like..."

"Yes!" she immediately answered before she took her phone out of her pocket. "I just want a picture."

Sabrina nervously giggled and replied, "Okay."

Flo moved over by them and picked up the woman's phone much to her surprise. Meanwhile, the others came over to observe her before Otto told them to come back by him.

Reluctantly, they obeyed and Flo was able to take the pictures in peace. She took three and then handed it back to the woman, but her claw stayed opened with a faint glow of yellow.

"Ooh, these are really nice," the lady chirped. "Who knew the tentacles were this good at photography?"

All of them screeched at her comment before Sabrina pet Flo's claw and corrected her.

"They're called actuators. They hate being called tentacles," she said before the other three came by her and pet her cheeks in response.

"Wow, they really like you," she observed. "Not that I should be surprised. I watch your podcast all of the time and they're always all on you."

"You're an Actuatually fan?"

"Am I? I started watching it after I saw you perform as Giselle. You were amazing. And honestly, you two make such a cute couple. Relationship goals."

"Thank you, I think," Otto responded.

Sabrina giggled.

"Oh, where are my manners?" she jokingly asked. "I'm Elinor Whittaker. But you can call me Ellie. I'm the owner of this establishment."

"Oh, we know," Otto remarked. "I read about your grand opening in the Post."

"Funny, I thought you would have said The Daily Bugle."

"I don't read that trash," he grumbled.

"Right," she moaned. "Well, I assume you're here for the little one. I heard the news. Congratulations. You two are gonna be wonderful parents. Now if you just follow me, I'll take you to the baby toys."

"Actually, we're here for..." Sabrina started before Otto stopped her.

He insisted that Elinor take them to the baby toys, despite Sabrina's look of frustration at him.

Elinor didn't notice though and led them to the back of the store nearby the many Lego building sets that were displayed based on difficulty.

The baby toys, which were on the adjacent wall, were displayed flawlessly with each type of toy being put in a certain place.

The sensory and teething toys were right in the center of a buyers focal point while the educational toys were to the right and the plushies and dollies were to the left.

But Otto's eyes lit up when he noticed a plastic toy boat that looked a lot like the one he had as a child.

However, he reserved his excitement until Elinor finally left them alone to browse.

After she left, Sabrina started to softly tease him about the fact that they weren't there to look for toys for Margaux. But he was so fascinated with the boat that he didn't even register her teasing.

Slowly he grasped it in his leather gloved hands and just took in the amazing craftsmanship of it.

Although it was just plastic unlike the wood carved one his abuela gave him decades ago, he still could admire the beautiful paint job reminiscent of his old toy.

He hypothesized that whoever made this really want to put a nice little touch on it.

Sabrina soon noticed his fascination and the little admiring twinkle in his eye, which made her warmly smile.

Leave it to Otto to find the simple, little things in life so intriguing, she thought.

But she did admire that about him as well though.

"Starlight, we should get this for Margaux."

"Octi, we came here to shop for..."

"I know, I know," he playfully huffed. "But I want our little girl to have a piece of my childhood."

"Piece of your childhood?" she asked curiously.

"I used to have a toy boat just like this," he happily explained. "But it was handmade...wood carved. My abuela made it for me. She painted it almost exactly the same."

"Your abuela was a woodworker?" she asked in a surprised tone. She knew that his mother, Maria, was half Spanish so the fact that he called his grandmother 'abuela' didn't confuse her, but what did confuse her was how fondly he spoke of her.

He rarely talked about his family other than his mother, but it was a welcomed info-drop nonetheless.

"Yeah," he said with a bright smile as he kept looking at the boat in his hands. By then the actuators also fully crept out of his big coat and admired it too, their lights glowing as pink as Otto's pale face.

"She was a woodworker and a potter. Her mother was gifted in the work of clay and her father was a carpenter. She was the third of five girls and my great-grandfather was afraid that he wouldn't have anyone to pass the skill on to. But she grasped it real fast and helped him at his shop until she met my Opa. He was on a European tour and they met at a Cafe. They fell in love and eventually moved here. My mother grew up not too far from here."

"You never told me that."

"It never came up," he said with a chuckle. "Maybe I'll show you on the way back home."

"I would like that," she replied. "So I guess you really loved that boat."

"I did. I took it every where I went when I was little. My Opa was an boating enthusiast. He had his own boat that he would take me on all of the time and we even participate in some boat races near the Hudson. We won a couple of tournaments."

"Hmm, so that's why you're so good with your hands," she hummed. "It was all in your hereditary."

He chuckled.

"Yes, well that and many summers with abuela and opa."

---

If you haven't seen my Dafoeverse WIPs and are interested in reading them, you can read them here.

Stay tuned for some Otto & Sabrina and Alden & Alice fics that I shelved until further notice. As well as my long-overdue WIP for Closing Time!

But until then, Happy Reading!

[s0lar-ch3ri]

theory time!

so reasoning as to why i cant reblog the other one is just cause it doesnt allow videos when i reblog now which sucks but whatever so yeah! its a jrwi theory again, and whatever future info i have was 99% gathered from the wiki (the remaining one percent might not even show up in this theory so ye), and of course theres spoilers for the black rose one shot AND riptide pirates (dont have any exsct eps, all i can say is im at ep 101 now so anything before that is kinda fair game)

for the original theory post

k so we gonna put that one clip (scroll message, about a minute long) and talk about it, def mention all the connections gill would have with the black sea, shit like that

apologies for the buggy clip, just needed to add this and when i recorded i was in school aka just recorded like this for less risk, lets talk about the message though.

"a map that is a guide and a key passed around the hands of destiny, it leads to chaos infinity beneath the seas, the garden giant, the nameless prince, the unborn kings, all await to be inevitably free"

i think in my og theory post i talked on how gill was very connected to the black sea imo so how does all this tie in? lets do some quick lil notes first

ok so the scroll of legend lore has been held onto by gillion, the one closest to destiny's ties, and has not been used until now

chaos infinity while refering to the black sea could also be an undersea thing, what with the leviathins (nobody else remember how the pearl shard gillion has came from one? and how the pearl was never supposed to even see the light of day probs let alone be in some cat mans evil base? just me?)

while i wanna say aster mythborne aeiliana shes not real here so she cant be garden giant

BUT we do have a known leviathin(? could just be a dragon turtle) named duke who has plant shit and is controlled by a gollieth

nameless prince is everso chip coded but we looking all across our board here so yeah

it could apply that the "nameless prince" could refer to someone "unnamed" who holds power like that prince from edison kingdom or smth

it could also reference marshal jon, who's canon first name has been forgotten and canon last name is jon

unborn kings? honestly while i dont think chip's bit of mpreg is apart of this i think the lady inspiring it (aka aslana's mom) has some relations to this whole thing

we all read "kings" btw so theres probs multiple yall

would goobleck count? he is goobleck he must apply someway

non-literal one again? maybe their monsters or smth

wait to be free. huh. gee, i wonder, will the door nightmare with arlin come into play here. thatd be so fun. yeah. ahahaha im losing myself

okay okay maybe its not all clear and i honestly have had this as a draft for too long (as shown below)

BUT ill reblog this later cause ill really just be using text and images and shit

whats the basic idea? this is def where the oath from the sword comes into play (murdering destiny), with the whole "the black sea twists you" thing we may get hints of killion or even dark gillion again, the thign about it being a "key" might imply like a 'this means that' type deal rather then being actually a key, the chaos isnt really referring to the black sea but the state of the undersea in general (lost champion becomign criminal, ally shit gone, oversea war, etc), unnamed prince is either someone we havent met yet or someone who we dont expect to have a return (ie: were deemed before as not really lore relevant), and the unborn kings are monsters, oh and the garden giant isnt arlin but something related to the duke! THIS HAS TO CONNECT TO THE LEVIATHINS FR

some details/info about gill/things related to gill so i write this better:

"You promise to slay all evil before thee, crack corruption that takes hold of this world, strike swiftly enough to split the seas, and even if the thread of fate poses an obstacle against us, we shall sever it"

A hero born of moonlight, storm and sea. / They shall rise or fall to bring unity. / They will be tested or bested by evil’s hand. / By their choice one will remain: sea or land.

[tewwor]

3 & 7 for the mun questions!!

QUESTIONS FOR MUNS. ( accepting ! )

3. whose writing has impacted your writing style the most? (you can choose anyone! famous writer or not.)

oh jeez.. as someone that used to voraciously read as a wee tot and then burnt myself out well into my teens... i don't really remember the names of all them :'( but all the murmuring bones left an impact a few years ago. the latest one that kicked me out of a mini burnout was the salt grows heavy. real short read, real fucked up. also, as someone that doesn't read novels often, yall are what inspires my writing style a lot. the most impactful over the years have been @womanlives ( i owe my humor to you ) @cordoliae ( the prose... i tried to absorb some ) @huntershowl ( highkey, action and more visceral writing )

7. describe your favorite relationship dynamic. (can be any kind, platonic, romantic, familial, antagonistic, etc.)

hello, yes, antagonistic time. as much as i enjoy exploring this sort of dynamic, i do often hesitate writing it outside of dry bickering and jabs. mostly because the muses that tend to have the most antagonistic connections uhhhh.. how do i say... hit first and leave before actually arguing ( ahem, jie ). and it can be hard to write consistent threads with that and not devolve into a cat fight! there's only been a handful of folks i've felt comfortable enough to really let them dogs loose so it is possible :')

[rodolfoparras]

Okay few things

https://pin.it/784hyPk0X

This is my Pinterest board of Stardew stuff, it's organized by farm type and decore things, go crazy 🗣️‼️ and yes, you can adopt or give birth, either way, the kids will look like you and your spouse. One boy and one girl, they will not grow up past the toddler stage 🫡

https://x.com/puppyghcst/status/1800887328694771838?t=UvA3xZp1AS2ugvAaxPAjAQ&s=19

I love you GhostPrice, holy shit

https://x.com/charluiu_/status/1802076315513704498?t=0iRZfNmkoHJbU1_GwvE7fA&s=19

Pookie bear Sebastian from Stardew (Thats my mans 🗣️‼️ I married him in-game, love my emo stoner) enjoy 😈 anon

Also 🗞️ anon, thank youuu 🤭 I love sending links everyone will enjoy!! I don't have many friends IRL that would be super comfortable with some of the stuff I send or really understand and I know everyone here will 🙏🙏 hyped I can please more than just Alec

-🐧

Sugar bee this is so pleasantly organized I absolutely love looking at it!!! I love when someone has a niche interest well it’s not really niche but in my head farm games are oki but I love when someone goes all out and has organized collections of different types of farms and what not it makes me so happy seeing someone so engaged with their interest!! Also you can adopt or give birth!??!;!; and once again I can’t fuck the smelly fisherman I see

Also Jesus Christ going to chew off limb after limb reading those tweets 🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️ that thread is very much old man price when he has to leave for a while for whatever reason and he wants to make sure you aren’t rotting away

Why was I surprised seeing Lewd art of a farm game 😭 yall are freaks!!! Farm enthusiastic freaks!!/ lh

It’s okay sugar bee you’re more than welcome to send the links here!!!!! The other day I told my sister I was gonna marry a man and she’s like is he drawn? Is it line art again? Smh😪

[thekinkyleopard]

Look, me and Geez had to split into a second RP thread of the Hellboys.

IF I did the same as I did for Remi and Levi with Shifters Tale THEIR POV and released our RP transcript lore of the Hell boys as well, would yall be interested in it? I know there’s like one or two people who actually read Remi and Levi’s lore story, which doesn’t upset us at all, we get it, it’s a lot. Also kind of cheesy to post our RP buuuuuut we love our characters so much that we are like “well maybe SOMEONE wants to read their canon lore?”

*small update; I am working on the new Hellboy series. I’m spending the next few days with my mom for her birthday but I should have the first part up BY THE LATEST, Sunday the 10th. 😅*