#And I love being femme but butch is super attractive to me

[imminent-danger-came]

Not cis, not trans, but a secret third thing

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[menlove]

since yall seem to think me criticizing tiktok trends that perpetuate misogyny means I loathe women, here's some really cool and fun tiktok trends by women that Aren't sexist and Awful like the ones in this post

girl dinner when it's just the most random assortment of stuff like. some hot pickles, cheetos, a slice of cheesecake, and a monster energy drink.

"in the year of the barbie movie?"/"they should've touched on this in the barbie movie."

speaking of the barbie movie, when they were showing off the outfits them and their friends wore to go see it. they were so creative and fun omg

when femmes make matching outfit videos w their butches 😭

that sound that's like "ladies if you want to attract a man do (x)" and so the girl does the exact opposite of each step until she's wearing like. an inflatable horse costume.

those videos where they're doing their makeup but describing the most insane batshit things

"list of things you can do to make men super angry" and it's the funniest shit imaginable to fuck w their ego

trans women documenting their joy in femininity and excitement over getting to be feminine

black women making videos where they're doing smth soft and feminine and taking joy in it

fat women (feminine or masculine) showing off their outfits and talking abt where they got each piece and how they styled it

those videos where they start talking abt how like. you have to take off your boobs when you shower and men in the comments are so confused and not understanding that they're joking and they just keep the bit going

90% of those "how I love being a woman" videos bc it's either women finding joy in femininity or a joke one that's tongue in cheek poking fun at sexism

those ones where moms and daughters will dress up like each other and giggle about it

yall can add on if you want :)

but you see how easy it is to have fun and celebrate femininity Without falling for sexist trends?

[scarfacemarston]

Tbh i headcanon Sadie as bi. Obviously Jake was super important to her and we see it through not only her actions but also the way she speaks about him. Imo she was in love with that man. Though her interactions with Abigail and the other woman of the camp also eludes to some sort of attraction there too. As a queer woman myself (I don’t really like to label myself as I get too in my head about it) I relate to Sadie and how she is as a person. I do also want to add though, the problem allot of fandoms have when it comes to more masculine women and the argument that about on if they are gay or not. Straight women can be masculine the same way queer women can be feminine. I think arguing about whether or not a woman is gay only off of how “masculine” she is feels very odd and gross to me. TLDR: I love Sadie and people need to stop arguing with each other over headcanons <3

I agree about head canoning Sadie as bi and how she viewed Jake! People base what's masc or femme or not too much on looks or personality instead of someone's entire being. Sadie is an entire person. She shouldn't be reduced to such a question. She might have some masc traits. Some have called it "butch" traits in the fandom. I'm not sure what I would call it because I tend to be more gender neutral on a lot of things. I think it's the idea that there "HAS" to be a "man" in the relationship and a "woman" in a wlw relationship. People do it with mlm relationships, too. The thing is, it's reductive. Like, Abigail may be a wife and a mother, but people shouldn't reduce her to that feminine role. Sadie is an example of how being a wife can appear differently. It's no less or more feminine. Gender Identity is so flexible and it was certainly flexible in the "Old West". I agree there is too much stock put into masc vs feminine. I think representation is important, but stereotyping and placing hetronormative ideas of "who is the man and who is the woman" is wrong.

I also agree that arguing over hc's is ridiculous. Unless it's legit harmful, live and let live.

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

hi, sorry if this isnt a good blog to send this to i just dont know where to turn atm (if this isnt a good blog to ask for help plz lmk where would be better, soz). im 22 and figuring out im sapphic & im trying to join online lesbian spaces but everyone seems so anti-babydyke and im starting to notice that being a lesbian is more about discourse and infighting than it is about wanting to kiss a lady. i thought it was about kissin ladies and thats what i want but how do i make other lesbians not hate me? i feel like all of the other lesbians expect me to have a PhD in lesbianism before i call myself that, before i consider a femme attractive, its like i have to pass thru all these hoops to prove myself even to other queers that im a real lesbian because i can name every lesbian historical figure. again super sorry if this is a bad blog to send this to i do not have a clue who to ask about this or anything im totally lost rn lol (genuinely sorry for literally being that annoying baby dyke ppl complain about rn. ignore me if you want im not gonna be tilted. thx for listening

This isn’t a bad blog to send this too. I’m just genuinely sorry you are going through this and I’m sorry if I don’t have a way to help. But I’ll try my best!! And maybe some more people in the comments will be able to help in ways I can’t.

But just know I’m sending you lots of love and that there isn’t anything wrong with you. At the end of the day, regardless of whatever else is happening, your sexuality really is just simply who you are attracted to. And that’s okay. You are enough ♥️♥️

(I’m also going into this assuming you are at least 18+, so I apologise if I’m wrong on that )

Firstly , you aren’t just seeing things. There is definitely a lot of infighting in the community. Like a lot. I would say it’s typically more intense and in your face online then it is IRL, but I’ve also seen IRL gay groups go really deep off the end with with this stuff.

From what I have read and from people I have talked to, this has sadly sort of always been a thing. We just have different waves of it and different things it might be focused on based on the time period and the world events affecting that at the time. I think in general it’s a very human thing that allllll groups do, but when you are in a marginalised, oppressed and small group of people it can feel a whole lot more concentrated and obvious because there is less room for it to go.

Again, this is just based on conversations I’ve had and things I’ve read, so take it with a grain of salt. But there has also been misunderstandings, disagreements and different beliefs on what things are , what they mean and who should do what in the community. Ranging from politics to fashion to marriage to sex to identities around butch/femme and what it means. For one piece saying something you have another saying something different.

This can cause a lot of confusion and infighting amongst people. A lot of tension at times. And because of trauma a lot of people tend to want to be around people with similar alignments in understanding and belief.

A lot of things can affect that like age , location etc.

But none of that is a reflection of you or your worth or your sexuality. And there ARE people in the same boat as you. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.

There have been waves in the past of some women using and or claiming lesbianism to be a response to sexism. We are currently living in the time after that. And because of that a lot of opinions and thoughts and actions taken place are in a response to that wave. Be it people trying to push it , denounce it , confused by it or hurt by it.

I think this has lead to some of the scaffolding of the current culture we have today.

I understand that need and drive for community and the horrible feeling that can come along when the said community feels like it is in shambles. I feel that way a lot too. And I’m sorry I can’t take that away.

I feel like I’m rambling at this point I’m sorry.

I just want to say though there is nothing you have to prove to anyone. We all figure this stuff out at our own pace. Anyone who treats you poorly for not knowing something or just genuinely not showing interest in it is on them. Your lesbianism doesn’t mean you owe anyone an opinion or a certain way of dressing or feeling. The only person you owe is yourself and that is to show kindness to yourself and be around people who respect you and love you for the wonderful lesbian that you are.

EDIT : I just re-read and you said you are 22 I’m so sorry I missed that 😩

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

Noodling with something that happens later in the AU (...probably, I'm not actually sure if Kaine sees this outfit in a calm moment or not... valentine's day 2016 in windowverse is the day that everything goes to shit but there's a lot in my notes that is not fully figured out yet especially because not only do I not want to just use the scene from the comics, I actually can't, because of differences in timeline and so on and so forth. so I'm still working on that. )

Compare to an earlier scene (which I have actually written and not just made notes about lmao):

(og ren fest outfit post: here)

I'm running comparisons and queering the text or whatever the hell—

Recently after many months of not really knowing whether windowverse Kaine ought to be bi or gay or what I had a brainwave which is that, he's probably attracted to masculine presenting people in general, including men, butches and studs. it makes the most sense to me tbh, esp w/ his complicated relationship with his own body, masculinity, manhood, and sexuality in this universe (and 616, arguably). And also because in the comics, Louise was kinda butch or at least not super femme, and so is Terry, and Annabelle dresses however the hell she wants, including in men's clothes sometimes, so I was like. now. hang on. i'm sensing a pattern.

obv zoe and shannon are very feminine but the former is a stalker kaine seems to not actually want to be touched by and the latter was a mind controller so... you know.

really, in windowverse at least, a large facet of kaine's relationships and approach to sexuality is mostly built on this desperation to be loved and therefore taking whatever he can get... for the most part he's essentially doing this responsive, reciprocal thing in addition to trying to be a "real person" by trying to conform to heteronormative standards (but also rebelling against those standards at the same time, thus the skirt) — which is a lot of what his relationship with annabelle ends up being, and a cause of friction as well.

but the suit? actually hot to him.

Annabelle's earrings and purse in the v-day pic were xmas gifts from Kaine btw:

Kate Spade lol

as an aside wrt not being able to use the comics scene for AU kaine's life in houston crumbling apart: i can't make the Other work for that scene in windowverse specifically because in AU by Feb 2016 Kaine is in a position where if he is mortally wounded he will just die.

the Other happens (in October 2015) because Kaine is off his immune meds for a few weeks because he runs out and keeps putting off finding a new doctor etc. but anyway that means his fucked up (auto)immune system can do its thing and turn him into a monster after he's eaten alive by werewolves.

REALLY i actually don't know how long his immune system should take to start (over)working after he stops taking his azathioprine. Mostly i was like how long do t cells and other immune cells take to repopulate? and the answer is: i don't know. i couldn't find a good answer XD but I figure 2 weeks is probably fine............................? it's not like prednisone where he's technically withdrawing for like... 2 years.... (mmm steroids)

but anyway, in february he's had a new doctor for a few months and has access to all of his prescriptions again so like, spider monster ain't happening because he's immunocompromised on his meds— a state which simultaneously keeps his body from destroying itself but also makes him more vulnerable to dying from normal things. like infections. or bazookas.

i do think it would be fun drama if wally shot him though

[dead6ite]

valorant agent sexuality and gender hcs, from a bigender pansexual who is always right

astra:

cis, doesn’t rlly do labels! she thinks ladies are so pretty but is EVERYONES hype woman

breach:

cis, gay gay homosexual gay… uncle who tells u stories about his hoe years

brim:

cishet supportive dad, however, “you should’ve seen me and my buddies back in my military days”

chamber:

god. fucking europeans it’s literally the gay or european thing till i DIE…. anyways he’s bisexual and his gender identity is “i can be whatever u want bbg”

cypher:

he has a wife and kids? ok… he also has crushes on men (cisbi)

deadlock:

i saw her and immediately thought she they. that is the most she they ever. also she becomes physically ill any time a man approaches her (reluctant bisexual)

fade:

MY BEAUTIFUL TRANSGENDER WEED SMOKING GF!!! anyway she is transfem, she/they/night pronouns + bi w a femme lean, and i won’t her… also i can absolutely see her on the ace spectrum, if not aroace

gekko:

NO WAY ITS A HE/THEY OUT IN THE WILD !!! enby identifying, bi with a masc lean bc yea

harbor:

cis gay. astra thought he was into her until he said something like “THATS MY GIRL !! (insert gay slang)

jett:

cis and bi. very masculine in any relationship, even if she’s with a guy. has been mistaken for a guy before and doesn’t mind it. she likes her expression and loves being masculine! she’s like those super androgynous cis people that make you oh so jealous

KAY/O:

110010110101100010100… beep boop he doesn’t do allat. neon told him about neo pronouns though and he likes he/bot

killjoy:

cis bi… she loves her wifey but she’s dated men before, many of which assumed she was a lesbian

neon:

she/they HEAVY femme lean bisexual. thought she was a lesbian for a time

omen:

??? and gay. gender isn’t real and neither is this guy. they/he/it/void kinda fella… also very interested in neos, i’m thinking fade told him about it and they spent an afternoon picking some

phoenix:

cis bi. the most bisexual disaster that ever graced the face of this earth. he’s scared of talking to women, and all his romantic male relationships have been built from fucking with each other and then realizing he has a crunch.

raze:

cis, BUTCH LESBIANS RULE THE WORLD!!! she loves her pretty gf. end of story

reyna:

she’s above trivial things like “romance”. she probably feels sexual attraction, but not much more than that. aro pansexual

sage:

cis lesbian, i definitely can get behind the trans femme agenda w her tho

skye:

cis pansexual femme preference!! she likes everyone, but a preference for ladies…

sova:

he/they gay!!! he’s just a guy who likes guys

viper:

cis, straight, bi-curious. she’s had some feelings in her young life that have been deeply repressed.

yoru:

trans gay. you CANNOT tell me he’s cis. the transness radiates from him, and he has so much gay tension with phoenix it’s thick enough to cut.

[lesb0]

Have you ever been into femmes? I find a lot of women attractive but im mostly drawn to a masc women and I know there isn’t a specific box but how did you figure it out so to speak lol

I've always had little crushes on fem women! Ive loved kstew since she was like, 12. I had an early sexual awakening from kate moennig and angelina jolie like every baby dyke lol. my high school gf was fem. but it was all personality based, or having an intimate connection.

when I was younger I thought there was something asexual and wrong with me for feeling 0 physical attraction to femininity and loving masculinity while knowing I only desired and loved the female body, it was so confusing because I kept mis-projecting my desire on boys and got super disgusted and angry at them for having a male body. but then I felt so annoyed with girls for not being boyish enough and liking makeup.

I knew I definitely wasn't bisexual after 17 and started using every internet micro label that existed in 2010. but that year I had a butch sociology feminist teacher at college and realized that the beauty of female masculinity would illuminate my entire world forever. I thought I WAS one which was a hilarious phase. I tried sooo hard to be butch but then I started researching butch/femme as a history project and I was like ohhh that's me, that's what I'm doing

[siamsa]

New to tumblr, thought I’d share something I posted on Reddit.

In praise and gratitude for Jim/Vico Ortiz

I am a lesbian who identifies as femme. I am “femme for butch” in that I’m drawn and attracted to butch/masc presenting women (and, I’m discovering, transmasc/non-binary people—my understanding continues to evolve in fun ways). I like ‘em so much I married a super hot butch woman whom I adore. But just as my wife is starving for media depictions of the kind of person she is and wants to be, I almost never get to see my own desire reflected back to me in media. Lesbian representation is still not that common to begin with, and it’s most commonly femme/femme. Butches/transmasc folks are still played for jokes if they’re portrayed at all, and the idea that anyone could find them hot as hell is simply beyond the imagination of mainstream media.

Enter Vico Ortiz.

I’ve become a huge fan of OFMD, and while I love the series and the crew as a whole, Jim is of course a big reason I’ve enjoyed it so much. It’s just so, so rare to see someone who reflects my desire depicted on the screen at all, let alone as a fully fledged person with a sense of humor and needs and a past. Let alone someone who is unapologetically HOT.

I’ve recently started following Vico’s social media because of all the recent post-strike BTS content and I’ve become, well, a little obsessed. The way they smile. The way they move. Their unabashed, confident ownership of their sexiness. The way they celebrate and embody everything I most desire. I have literally never seen all that on a screen before, and I didn’t even know I was starving for it. It reminds me that it’s not weird or abnormal or even that unusual to want who I want; people like Jim/Vico are just objectively and self-evidently hot. It’s affirming as hell to see someone like Vico just being their hot self and being invited to celebrate that with them.

Now I’m gonna go celebrate the glory of butchness and queer masculinity by kissing my sexy butch wife.

[nothinginthisworldbelongstome]

hi im rose!

just started this blog so i need to fix it up all nice and pretty but honestly idk when that might happen lol

friendly dms welcomed, but please dont flirt/sext im talking with someone atm <3

just a reminder, bc sometimes people forget and treat me like im just one thing- I AM A SWITCH. that means i want to and enjoy BOTH domming and subbing, and i cant do just one all the time, it burns me out. that might be different for other people, but this is how it works for me. i need as close to 50/50 as i can get, 70/30 works too.

more about me under the cut!

i just turned 19 aug 4th! she/her lesbian

men, terfs, bigots, any shitty people, and minors fuck off i will block u

im very switchy atm, will dom or sub whatever u need baby 😘

im more comfortable topping, and i loveeee bringing u pleasure, but it would be nice to have someone who desired me as much as i did them, even if im not yet comfortable receiving that attention lol

ive only been in 1 relationship online and never have even kissed anyone before, but ive been on nsfw tumblr for a while

i dont consider myself super femme but im definitely not masc/butch. i like jewelry and flowery clothes tho lol. i kinda just wear things and i dont have a super distinctive style. im mostly attracted to femmes but for me attraction usually comes from the face and personality, generally not style, if anyone cares lmao

im 5'7, i have brown hair and blue-green eyes, and im plus size, if any of that matters to yall

kinks:

praise praise praise. i love telling u how good ur doing for me and also i wanna be someones good girl

pretty girls telling me what to do hehe i love that

pet namessss ugh pet names. i use them SO much so if u dont like it let me know (but it will be so hard for me to stop ngl i fucking love pet names)

also call ME pet names and ill fall in love with u its so soft and sweettt ahhhh

anything that will bring you pleasure. when u tell me that turned u on/made u wet that turns me on sooo much

mommy kinkkkkk! call me mommy or let me call u mommy pretty girl

VOICESSS FUCKING VOICESS i have a hugeeee voice kink. make all ur pretty noises for me baby u sound so good

grindinggg i love grinding. yes bounce on my leg sweet thing

light pet play. like ill call u puppy/bunny/kitten, collars are hot, but not much more than that and im not a pet. no cages or anything more hardcore than that really

pulling my hairrr yes babygirl pull my hair while i eat u out

consensual somnophilia i love the idea of knowing someone trusts u enough to let u do whatever u want to them while theyre sleeping

MARKINGSSS ugh theyre so hot. ive veryyyy possessive i want u to be MINE if im into u. so yes marks are so hot. giving AND being given

also reciprocal possessiveness??? jesus christ sign me up. im urs and ur mine and now im in love

LIMITS

theres probably more but this is all i can think of right now

also even tho i dont personally enjoy something or dont have it in my likes, feel free to ask! im generally very open to trying things at least once. and some of the things i dont really care for i dont mind doing a little bit if its something my partner wanted! communication is key <3

heavy degradation/humiliation and stuff like that. i dont like being really mean it makes me feel bad. i will however tease u until ur begging me to let u cum <3

also dont be mean at all in any way to me ill cry

rapeplay/kidnapping or anything nonconsensual like that it makes me feel bad

any terms like daddy/cock/dick. big turn off for me

any bodily fluids other than cum gross me out sorry

feet. u can do whatever u want with mine ig but i dont like urs no thanks

send asks and dms!! i crave interaction

CLOSING REMARKS

idrk what else to say here. if u read all this u get a cookie ig lol

feel free to ask ANYTHING im an open book and will *probably* answer honestly lol

k love u bye! mwah!

[mogai-sunflowers]

inspired by this post (link!) i’m going to talk about aromanticism, lesbianism, autism, and being a queer girl through those lenses!

i have never been interested in romance in the typical sense. before i discovered my queer identity, i got crushes on boys often, and yet i never actually fantasized about romance. this was partly because i was and am very socially awkward and unaware due to being autistic, and partly because, well, i was a child- i didn’t really know that romance was something people desired. i thought people wanted weddings because of the aesthetic dresses and pictures.

as i started getting a bit older, i would always notice how my girl friends were always talking about the boys they had crushes on. i started internalizing this idea that i wasn’t ‘really’ a girl because i had sensory issues with makeup so i didn’t wear any, i didn’t love my femininity or try to perform it for others because i didn’t understand the social concept of gender or gender performance, and i didn’t have the romantic dreams about boys that it seemed like every other girl was having.

so for a long time, i absolutely hated being a girl. anything associated with it. i still struggle with a lot of internalized misogyny, but it’s nothing like it used to be. i could not see myself as a real girl because i just wasn’t like any other girl i had ever met! i perceived other girls as being stupid for being so into boys, for performing femininity for them, and for being interested in them at all. it was a flawed mindset, but i was 13.

ever since i found out about aromanticism and realized “hey, that’s what i am” and that came around with my discovery that i was much more into girls than i was into boys, i have allowed myself to fall in love with my femininity. i realized that my sense of girlhood, of femininity, didn’t have to come from other people- it came from me. i AM a real girl, because being a girl isn’t about liking boys or wearing makeup or being feminine, it’s just about being a girl.

now, i love being feminine. i identify as genderqueer, and part of that is because i have had a unique gender experience! i was apathetic and denied my gender for so long because of my relationship with romance and performative femininity, and it took discovering my queerness to love and embrace my gender identity, so my gender feels very queer to me!

now, i embrace being both feminine and masculine. im femme because my femininity is super personal in a queer way, i’m butch because i love masculinity and i use it to express my queer identity, and i’m feminine not because i want to perform my girlhood for others, or because i want to attract boys OR girls, but because it’s who i am and it brings me joy. it’s hard to explain, but aromantic lesbianism gave me permission to love my identity as a girl. now, i wear extravagant dresses, sensory-friendly makeup, feminine outfits, and shit because i want to feel good about myself, and that’s pretty cool!

tagging @urpurplehairedsage !

[nudibutch]

Did you struggle with masculinity when you realized you were butch? Any tips for butches still trying to figure themselves out?

i did in some ways, less so in others. everyones got a different journey with it, and with what level of masculinity they express! some things i struggled with were seeming inherently aggressive/predatory -- from societal expectations and associations of/with cishet men). i worried my masculinity would be conflated for theirs. i also worried that no girl would find my wanting to wear a dick/have a dick be a part of me as attractive. i worried my masculinity (in my case, my dick being a part of my butch masculine identity) would be a turn off for people immediately. (spoiler: its not)

but other parts of it were super liberating right off the bat. i fell in love with expressing myself masculinely -- buying mens jeans, discovering accessories i enjoyed (watches, chains, and recently rings). finding a home in my silly butch demeanor. i have really, really loved being seen by femmes. their gaze makes me feel like im shining.

tips for butches still figuring themselves out:

- no rush. this is your journey bro. if you feel an innate draw to a kind of expression. chase it!

- you dont need to conform to whats stereotypically butch. ie, butch comes in many forms. there are tall butches, short butches, muscular butches, twiggy butches (like me!), long haired butches, short haired butches. serious butches. silly butches. jocky butches and nerdy butches and adventrous butches and domestic butches. butches who are moms. butches who are dads. butches with tits, butches on T, butches with top surgery, butches on E. butches who like to use she/her, he/him, they/them, neopronouns, or a mixture of or none of those pronouns. and different blends of all those traits and more. we find community in each other, but dont feel pressured to conform to a specific idea of butch. youre butch enough.

- if u feel like butch doesnt work for you as a label: you dont need to be butch to be masculine. there are plenty of people who dont use the butch ID and still present themselves masculinely!!

- if you want recs for gender affirming underwear, packers, or harnesses/straps lmk. i usually buy from rodeoh!!

[murdermeadow]

xc2 gender and sexuality hcs because it's hashtag pride month and I've been replaying it

Rex (he/him/any): very bisexual methinks. like obviously there's his wives of whom he loves dearly but there's also his blonde boytoy in the Torture Chamber of whom he also loves dearly. as for gender, I think he's confident in his identity as a man, and isn't afraid to play around with it a bit. for the most part he's pretty masculine, but he doesn't mind if you refer to him in other ways

Pyra (she/her and any fire themed neopronoun): she's like if a girl was soft and malleable. also very bisexual, with an equal preference for any gender. I think she's a girl in the way that you'd describe girlhood to someone who knows nothing about it and they went "oh yeah that's me" if you catch my drift. I can't explain it any better she's just Squishy

Mythra (she/it): bisexual lesbian methinks. has a major preference for women but Rex is that one exception that she's absolutely enamoured with. I think she's also pretty confident in her girlhood, but it's that very sharp and spiky rabid animal girlhood. she won't hesitate to bite you (as I'm typing this I realize her and Pyra are literally that "girlhood is a spectrum" image with the super soft looking bunny and that terrifying rabbit with the wide eyes)

Nia (she/he/they): I don't think she pays a whole ton of attention to specific labels. definitely trans, but I can never decide in which direction. common fanon is mtf but I've always interpreted her moreso as nonbinary, so I'm not sure which one I lean with more. but! transgender regardless! and as for sexuality, she's probably pan. just as long as you're pretty and/or handsome she doesn't really care

Dromarch (he/him): like he said, he's too old for romance. aroace and confidently masculine. his real gender is tiger

Mòrag (she/he): butch lesbian. enough said.

Brighid (they/she): she gives off femme nonbinary lesbian vibes. something about her isn't woman but it isn't man either. I think she likes to get silly with it. definitely enjoys being feminine though (and Mòrag enjoys it too)

Zeke (he/they): genderqueer man methinks. he absolutely loves to get crazy with it. enjoys and wholeheartedly loves his masculinity. he has the vibe of those dudes who put on their girlfriends silly tanktops while they're away or wear the most gorgeous dresses you've ever seen. I also think he's the kinda guy to go "I'm straight, but," all the time while everyone screams at him that he's bisexual. he definitely is, but doesn't want to admit it. for what reason? who knows

Pandoria (she/her and a million neos): I think she'd use incredibly niche labels. like omnisexual and the most hyperspecific xenogender you've ever seen. she probably has a whole stockpile of labels she enjoys that she just plays around with at any given day

Tora (he/she): tbh. I think he gets a little transgenderism. as a treat. I've seen people say that the real reason he dressed up Poppi in so many frilly girly outfits is because he was confusing attraction and personal desire, so what he actually wanted was for himself to wear those outfits. I think as she's grown, especially around so many strong role models who are women, she's come to terms with her femininity and allowed herself to dabble in both worlds. I place a tentative bigender and simultaneous straight/lesbian label on him (moral of the story, he likes girls)

Poppi (she/her and robot themed neos when gear's in the mood): rtf. robot to female. transgender in the convoluted nonhuman way. I think she's definitely on the aroace spectrum but still can still have affinities for anyone. so pansexual

[thekidthesuperkid]

Hi I would love to hear you expand on your queer superfam headcanons if you’d be willing to share

Hi anon! I'd love to!

Right now I've been mainly thinking about Clark and Lois. For Lois, I think of her as bi or pan (Wonder Woman #170 you will always be famous to me). She experimented with her sexuality a lot in college and in high school (there were some fights with her father about it), but because of a combination of things didn't really date often. For one she was super ambitious and focused on her career and that came first for her, but then also half the guys who were attracted to her were assholes and she never put up with their shit unless she needed something from them, which gave her a bit of a reputation in her schools and workplaces, you know how it goes. Now that wasn't a deterrent for the resident sapphics, quite the opposite in some cases, and Lois did have some hookups with them but again didn't date much. She doesn't get emotionally close to people easily or quickly. This might mean she's demi- or grey-romantic, or she's just a busy career-driven woman who's experienced trauma and is also a bit neurodivergent. Her gender is cis and femme in a mildly dykey and "fuck you" kind of way. Also she's fairly unreserved and uninhibited about her sexual desires. She's pretty into kink and unashamed about it.

Right now I really like my transfem!Clark headcanon. She doesn't realize anything or come out until later in her life, and even then it's only to Lois, and then she doesn't come out to more people or transition for several more years, and even then only Clark Kent transitions, not Superman. In her early life she feels very alienated and very different from the kids around her but she doesn't have any of the knowledge to understand why she feels that way, so she chalks it up to being neurodivergent and a meta, and later when her parents tell her about where she comes from, chalks it up to being from a different planet. She doesn't realize it until at least two decades later, but her high school crush on Lana is half attraction and half gender envy. Another thing that delays her gender realizations is that she's a butch woman. Typical femininity doesn't fit her. So she never identified with the women and girls around her in a clear and defined way. And also the main core part of her identity is that she's an alien and a refugee and one of the last of her people, and that she needs to help people. Her gender is a bit secondary to that. She realizes eventually, and even though she's delayed and interrupted by a few crises and universe resets, she does eventually transition as Clara Kent, but stays Superman, partly because Superman transitioning at the same time as Clark would be suspicious and partly because she just doesn't mind being seen as a man if its not all the time, and she uses Kryptonian clothing technology to hide the changes to her body from transitioning as Clara. I have the full story of her transition in my head but it's too long for this. So basically Clara is a trans butch lesbian. She is m-spec a bit, but she has a strong preference for women and her attraction to men just doesn't really come up or play much of a role in her life so she prefers to describe herself as a lesbian.

Kara! Kara is a genderqueer woman (masc headband from the 80s my beloved <3). Kryptonian concepts of gender are literally alien and dont necessarily match up to human ones. She goes by she/her pronouns because she just doesn't care to navigate human concepts of gender to explain it to them but when she's speaking Kryptonian with someone she's referred to with...I guess the equivalent of ze/hir? But not that? Idk I haven't properly thought out my ideas on Kryptonian gendered language. She does get frustrated and sad sometimes about how characteristics that would have easily been recognized as masculine on Krypton are meaningless on Earth, but (if I place this headcanon of her in the same world as my Clara headcanon) she does share some of those signals from Kryptonian culture with Clara and bond with her over being genderqueer women. She's also gay. More specifically she's pansexual homoromantic, but doesn't really care for having a relationship with just sexual attraction so...gay. Lena Thorul come back you could've been so powerful...

I like to headcanon Kon as pan, although he's slightly less romantically attracted to women compared to men, and hes demisexual and hypersexual. Also hes transmasc. I honestly don't know how that would work because I keep going back and forth on the specifics of his gender, but the version I came up with most recently is that for a while he identified as transfem and actually transitioned that way but then realized his gender wasn't that and transitioned back but then at that point he'd fucked with his gender so much that despite being perisex amab the term transmasc genuinely felt most accurate, because he does have a strong connection to femininity and his masculinity, despite being more prominent than his femininity, still needs to be taken with the context of femininity to be understood properly. His gender is like the error message you get when too many people are trying to access a site at once. All of this happens in the hypothetical future though. In his early life Kon doesn't feel secure about his queerness and leans hard into performative masculinity and compulsive heterosexuality. At his current age he's just finished growing out of the performativity but still hasn't recognized his queerness. He'll realize he likes guys a while before he accepts his genderqueerness, and then he'll go through all the gender exploration. When hes older he sometimes jokes that he's a he/him lesbian, which is because he feels "butch as gender" is an accurate enough way to describe him, even though thats not how he would choose to describe himself to others. He goes and finds Hero from the Ravers when he first realizes he likes guys.

Jon is canonically bi and Natasha is canonically a lesbian, Mae is genderfluid/multigender and a bi lesbian, Linda Danvers is a lesbian, Cir-El is a trans girl and sappic-oriented aroace, Chris is very aroace with a god-induced soulmate bond (which I'm not sure if I want to keep in my headcanons?), and John Henry is m-spec and both demisexual and demiromantic.

I saw someone headcanon Jonathan as a trans man, and I'm still kind of playing around with that idea in my head and I'm unsure of whether I will use it for my own headcanons yet. I do think Martha should get to have had a girlfriend in college though. I also like to headcanon that she went to a lot of protests when she was young in the sixties.

If you look closely you'll notice that I made most of the superfamily like girls in one way or another lol

[br4inr0tx]

Hi sweetie, this is for the BG3 matchup exchange thingy! Thank you for agreeing to do this, I can't wait to see what you write ☺️ And of course I hope you like mine as well! 

I'm an autistic girl who's fine with any gender, though I might slightly prefer a man tbh. I’m a pagan witch who’s interested in a ton of different subjects like horticulture, linguistics, genetics and anthropology/archaeology. I have a very bubbly, friendly personality though I’m also highly intelligent and often called “wise beyond my years” lol. I just think in a very big, philosophical way if that makes sense, so I come up with a lot of raw quotes and good advice. Even when I'm tired, I still seem to have more energy than the average person, and I never stop talking (if I go nonverbal something is very wrong).  The most common word used to describe me is “eccentric” since I’m very brave about being myself and don’t care too much what others think of me (at least not as much as some people). I have a kinda outdated way of talking and honestly living lol, I'm very much a grandma in a 20 year old body (though my body's chronically ill so the shoe still kinda fits). On that note, I have several chronic illnesses like scoliosis, joint pain, asthma and a bunch of other stuff. 😬 I love taking care of people, like baking things for people and drawing them cute pictures. I also really love gardening and writing (I’m super good with plants). I'm super short, 4’ 10” (142 cm), with messy auburn hair that's something red, brown and blonde all at once, glasses and a retro/vintage fashion sense that's like if cryptidcore was more colorful lol. My style also switches between very butch and very femme a lot. I can be sassy and witty when I want to be, but I also get nervous easily so it only comes out occasionally (but when it does I'm told I'm very funny). I also need to have outdoors time literally every single day, regardless of weather or season, or I start to go stir crazy. I’m a very nature-oriented person lol. I get super flustered being called cute names like sweetie or sweetheart, despite the fact that I call literally everyone I know things like that 🤣

Alright, I think that’s about it lol. Thank you and Happy New Years sweetie!

ofc! I’m glad to do another matchup exchange anytime.

your Baldur’s Gate 3 matchup is… GALE DEKARIOS !!

• I have the suspicion you saw this coming, judging by how much Gale stuff you have on your profile. Even then, I genuinely think he’d be the best match for you!

• Starting off right away, he’s a wizard, you’re a witch. While I’m entirely the same thing, they have enough similarities to go hand and hand, which is the thing you guys bond over the most.

• He’s also interested in the various hobbies you dabble in too. He’s done what he can on his free time, but I’m sure there’s something he hasn’t done yet that you can introduce and info dump him about. He’s a great listener actually.

• Gale is a very smart man. Hell, he uses big words when he talks, and often drags things out a little longer in a witty manner, I think just to impress people? It could just be a normal thing for him though. Nonetheless, he’s happy you can keep up with his banter.

• Depending on the occasion, Gale can have lots of energy. Especially if he was recently fed an object containing weave lol. Though, if you’re feeling a boost of energy he wouldn’t mind something like going on a stroll with you.

• Gale is pretty eccentric, as seeing how often he talks with his hands and uses big words. So don’t be afraid to be yourself! Gale loves seeing you and your big personality.

• He’s glad to see someone independent as well. From what I’ve seen he’s very attracted to confidence and heroism. See you with both makes his heart really flutter.

• Gale is your biggest cheerleader by far, and if you ever need something done because you feel out of it or sick, Gale will get it for you.

• He enjoys your creativity side too. He’s worked on poetry in his free time, and I believe that he finds anyone with a creative mind admirable.

• He likes colors too! So pretty..he absolutely adore everything you wear on a daily basis, and you’ll often find him complementing you throughly, finding his favorite minute detail to prove how much he cares.

• He’s not very judgemental about your height. He’s extremely taller then you, being around 6’2 according to Reddit. I don’t ever see him bringing up your height unless you do it first, or it’s crucial to the conversation at hand.

• Your sassy side is extremely cute to him too. He even sasses back sometimes if the mood strikes him right. Although he can’t seem to find as many playful, teasing quips as you can, so he saves them up for when he can think of one.

• Gale is a big lover of nature, and is most definitely an outdoorsy guy. Why stay inside when there’s so much to explore?

• He calls you pet names when the two of you have sweet moments. It starts up after you’ve been with each other for awhile, and it’s very awkward and maybe even cringey, but it’s sweet to the two of you.

• It almost feels unreal, the connection you have with each other He never thought he could run into someone as perfect as you, but here you are. For that, he loves you very much.

[bullywug-n-mugwort]

.

idk why people just decide they get to invalidate someone else's identity when they are not the one with that identity and therefore don't know what they're talking about. just saw someone i otherwise respect reblog a post about how bisexual lesbian is an invalid term because each term has changed over time and claiming it's lesbophobic and biphobic to use the term [something something mutually exclusive experiences]. i usually call my orientation "queer" but i often use "bi lesbian" to make sense of my own experience. the tags of this post were full of people dunking on all imagined reasons someone may call themselves a bi lesbian, none of which reflect my own experiences and reasoning.

not that i should have to defend myself, but a lot of these comments were very fixated on the experiences of "liking only women" vs "liking both women and men." these categories obviously have social significance, but to me personally, romantically and sexually, these categories aren't super helpful. i cannot isolate traits of manhood or womanhood i find attractive. i'm into femme traits until i see a hot butch. i like certain chests, certain facial features, and any genitals. these traits don't map onto coherent binary genders very well. not to mention my attractions shift with my fluid gender. if i'm looking for a consistent pattern, i'm into gendernonconformity if anything. i guess i'm far more into women than i am men unless the man is a flamboyant twink but at the end of the day i'm not into either as much as i am a very specific weird collection of queer gender markers. (and pansexual had never seemed to fit the bill, because there are also many gender expressions and markers i am certainly unattracted to.)

does that really make me a biphobic bisexual? i wrestled with more shame at the idea that i was a lesbian, a stereotype threat for the bisexual community i love. the twink i married turned out not to be a man at all. i was struggling with worries about comphet for years because i loved them but our marriage didn't feel "right," and now that we're both practicing genderqueers it does. to me, that experience made bisexuality feel less like home than it had before. at the same time, finding like two men attractive excludes me from the lesbian community. is it such a sin to have found home in a term that made coherent my knot of comphet and dysphoria?

i realized, as many lesbians with comphet do, that i would probably never be happy in a relationship with a man, as in someone who self- identified as a man and embraced manhood. i also find astarion bg3 hot as fuck. i fail to see how these are mutually exclusive experiences.

can i guarantee that no biphobia or lesbophobia has wormed its way into my brain? of course not, but it is so strange that embracing both those terms brands you as someone who hates both. it's also strange to exclude people from terms on the basis of internalized shame. why care if some people call themselves bi lesbians? does it feel invalidating to you? that's your own work-- same as women who think afab nonbinary people are really just women who are ashamed of being a woman and therefore should continue living as "women". (ie it's not my job to choose an identity that you approve of or think is free of shame. you figure it out.) are you worried it invalidates us in the eyes of the heteros? i simply don't believe in policing our own terms to make cishets see us as more valid or understandable. it's disguised respectability politics, plain and simple.

all these terms for our identities are best fits and best guesses, grasping for connections under this big lovely queer umbrella. the person who reblogged that post is a nonbinary lesbian. why do the same people who accept the concept of a nonbinary lesbian-- a thing that should be impossible if the term "lesbian" has actually calcified as the post claims-- insist that "bisexual" and "lesbian" are concrete, immovable, and mutually exclusive identities? to be extremely clear, i support nonbinary lesbianism. it's valid. and it's a weird fucking line to draw, saying that the gender spectrum can support loosely-gendered lesbianism on the side of the beholder but not the recipients.

there was also a historical argument claiming that people are misinterpreting contexts in which bisexual lesbian was used circa early 20th century. and like... okay??? i found the term in a pdf zine from the 90's which interviewed self-identified bisexual lesbians, gleaning a bunch of different reasons for the label. some fell into the assumptions of the aforementioned post, eg bisexuals who were basically political lesbians. (i don't claim to support this stance, though i do still insist people can call themselves whatever they want.) many more summarized complicated stories like mine, people who did not fall neatly into either "mutually exclusive" category because, it turns out, gender is a fluid weird spectrum. bi lesbians whose attractions are bi and gender is lesbian. bi lesbians who were literally only into women except for one "man". bi lesbians who were trying to untangle comphet and so weren't sure which label, if either, fit. bi lesbians who liked to fuck any gender but only fell in love with "women". so anyway, fuck outta here with "history doesn't work like that" narrow target practice.

and even if that's true... again, words are evolving all the time. we've made words like sapphic and achillean to make some sense of gender. "lesbian" has on-off been used as a gender term for decades. we've invited nonbinary people into lesbianism and many understandings of gender into bisexuality. bi lesbian is another evolution of our language, and people have been shitty about it since at least the early days of DTWOF-- bechdel's characters struggled with all of the above since the 80's.

and what's the point of terms? to find community, self- identity, and sometimes practical utility, eg in the dating world. were i to date again (yikes), "bisexual" would not be a helpful self-descriptor for finding a romantic partner. lesbian would. if i wanted to hook up, bisexual would be more helpful than lesbian, and i'd have to root through lots of gender expressions anyway. so in terms of my self identity and finding communities of similar folk, "bi lesbian" is a super helpful term. if you are a bisexual or a lesbian and feel frustrated or confused by my term, that's because it doesn't apply to you. maybe just realize this isn't your thing and leave our community to explore our experiences. love you, see you later in the sapphic tags where we have things in common.

so anyway, i think it's pretty silly to see a term, imagine reasons you dislike for why someone may use it, and pitch a fit. my identity's legitimacy has no bearing on yours. leave us alone.