#And blame me for not following their advice anytime I feel like shit

[missshame]

My parents made me tell them how I feel and then they got mad and told me to get some help

[fijiangecko]

The End of It All

Vampire!Katsuki Bakugou x Witch!Reader

WC: 6k+

Warnings: Cussing

Angst - breakups and makeups

A/N: I wrote this over two years ago and just found it. If I decide to edit it I’ll post that one on my AO3, or if people ask me to post it here I can <3

~~~~~~

The idea of a calamity had never even crossed their minds until a couple of days ago. Everything seemed to be harmonious between the humans and the supernaturals, but never in a thousand years could they guess just how wrong they were. In a matter of days, war had broken loose between the few humans who knew of the other world, and the extremists of the supernatural that wanted only bloodshed. The Negotiator was notified immediately, and brought a group of friends onto the scene. It only spiraled from there.

Mina and Uraraka sobbed into one another as it dawned on them that very soon everything they loved could be eviscerated, while Kaminari and Kirishima attempted to soothe them as the night went on. Midoriya and Iida ran around searching for books that could possibly lead to a solution, but there was no manual on how to fix the destabilization between the supernatural world and the human one. Todoroki sits in a chair by him lonesome, contemplating if he should leave, while Katsuki has the same thought on the opposite side of the room as he leans against the doorframe.

“Do you think we should try (Y/N) again? She might pick up this time,” Iida flips through a tome as he speaks, eyes glancing at Midoriya.

“I don’t think we should. Last I heard from her she was going to visit the harpies, and if her phone went off during that meeting then we could be royally screwed. They could have a solution, so I think it’s better if we just have faith and-” “Have faith?! That’s your shitty advice?!” Katsuki growls from across the room, a deep scowl decorating his features. “We all know damn well that (Y/N) could have ditched us and left the world for dead! She’s a fucking witch and doesn’t give a shit what happens to the rest of us as long as it doesn’t fucking bother her!” His fangs started to grow as he spoke. During his little outburst he had walked over to the table and slammed his hands down, putting more emphasis on the cuss words than anything. “She. Doesn’t. Give. A. Shit. About. Us.”

“You shouldn’t say that about her, Bakugou. We know you have a past with her, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to forget about the rest of the world. She’s not that petty.” Iida is calm as he speaks, making sure not to make eye contact with the vampire, as it could set him off even further.

“You see her as a friend, and I see her as a lover. She’s a completely different person, I can promise you that.” A low growl had escaped Katsuki’s lips after he spoke, but his ear twitched as he sensed movement outside. Looking out the window, he saw no branches move, but a bright light shone through it.

Todoroki gets up and inspects the outside of the estate, careful to not move the curtains too much. He didn’t want any uninvited guests knowing what room they were in. As he stared outside the glass, he could see an alchemy circle burned into the grass with your figure lying in the middle of it. Your body is in a fetal position, as if trying to protect something. Upon seeing this, Todoroki bolts out of the library without saying a word and goes out into the cold night. Katsuki runs after him to see what was going on with the rest of the party in tow.

The stream of people watched as Todoroki made no hesitation to pick you up bridal style from the ground and carry you back to the house. In your hands is an old book; its sides were ripped apart and there was a lock preventing it from being opened. The bind had decorative gold inlays, but no title. As of now, Todoroki did not care for the book, but the girl he carried in his arms.

“She’s breathing,” he looked to Uraraka, “and will most likely need medical attention.” With nothing left to be said, he walks briskly into the house and finds the nearest couch. Uraraka follows him and starts to check on you and perform a series of healing spells.

Kirishima, Mina and Kaminari walk back inside and sit near the other three, but make no move towards them.

“Is there anything we can do?” Mina’s quiet voice pierces the thick coat of silence around them.

“Right now I don’t need anything, but stay put just in case there is an emergency,” Ochako’s eyesight don’t leave your figure once. The party of four sits behind nod silently and watch as she works..

Outside, Iida and Midoriya are trying to figure out what the alchemy circle means. Not everyday does someone use such powerful magic to teleport, let alone a witch who prefers not to use alchemy at all. They carefully examined the etchings in the ground, the symbols older than anything they’ve had the chance to work with. Katsuki stood a couple of feet away, also trying to figure out where the fuck (Y/N) teleported from.

“Well this symbol means ‘ancient’ and this one over here means ‘creature’, but there’s one in between…” Midoriya pulls out his notebook and starts to sketch the symbols down.

“This is definitely from a different plane of existence, but I’ve never seen it. Is this from her personal dimension?” Iida spoke.

“No, it’s not. Her sigil phrase would be ‘nisi rogatus non transient’ and her keyphrase is ‘fiducia’. Plus there aren’t enough swirls in the alchemic circle to fit her personal taste,” the blonde grumbled. His eyes fixed over the old text, but this language was way before he turned into a creature of the night.

“Did (Y/N) use alchemy way back? I haven’t seen her use it in decades,” Iida ponders out loud.

“Doesn’t matter. Shouldn’t you be fucking figuring out what this shit means?” The two nerds nod and walk quickly back into the library where they begin a whole new search. The vampire slowly approached the living area where his once lover was lying on the couch with a fairy over her form. A glow erupts from Ochako’s hands as she tries to wake you up. Again, Katsuki leans against the door frame, eyes carefully watching what was happening.

He couldn’t help but feel concerned; he never truly got over you, no matter how poorly he acted. Remembering everything you had, everything you lost and the times he wished he had spent with you only caused his cold heart to clench in pain. What if I had been there when she asked? Would things be different? Does she still care? His mind raced with a thousand different thoughts. This was, afterall, the first time he had seen you in almost a century after one of the worst breakups to ever exist. 

Long story short, he was more focused on hunting rather than your relationship, so you decided to give a dangerous alchemic spell a shot after having no one to talk sense into you. Bakugou doesn’t know what kind of spell you were trying to cast, but he does know that it caused some sort of damage to your magical force. He wasn’t there during the ritual, but showed up at your hut months after the disaster. You had looked sick, as if death’s grip was starting to drag you down into hell, and before letting him speak you told him to leave, and never come back. After hours of screaming and bickering, he left. Not once did either of you try to speak to the other, but you both knew you were in the wrong. Katsuki wasn’t there for you, but you blamed him for your dangerous actions, which was in no way his fault. 

Nothing brought him joy after that; not the hunt, not the warmth of another. Nothing. For almost a century he felt empty. Katsuki wanted nothing more than to embrace you in his arms once again. Take you away from everyone and keep you to himself, but he knew that it simply wasn’t going to happen. He knew he had fucked up and is now trying to find a way to fix it. Not in a century had he been this close to you, and it was slowly taking away his life force. For all he knows, you’re in a coma caused by the harpies and have no way to save the world - or you found a way to save the world and sacrificed yourself. Either way, someone has hell to pay.

“Bakugou!” Ochako breaks his train of thought, her eyes screaming concern. “I need ice, her ribs are broken.” Standing up straight, he swiftly walks to the kitchen and retrieves the ice, taking a plastic bag and some paper towels.

“Thank you,” the round faced girl was sweating at this point, tired from healing but knowing that she couldn’t stop anytime soon.

“Guys! We found out what (Y/N) was doing!” Midoriya races into the lounge, holding several books within his arms. “She was trying to make contact with the Great Ones!” He flipped open some of the books, showing different languages and sigils.

“Why the fuck would she do that?! Wasn’t she going to see the harpies?” No one needed to look to understand who was speaking.

“I contacted the harpies, and they said she did speak to them, but only for a short time. They didn’t have anything that could help, so she left in a hurry.” The green haired male put his books down on the nearest surface and flipped through a particular book. “They did say that she bought some mandrake liver, which is odd considering it’s very expensive and very hard to come by, but I guess if she made contact with the Great Ones it makes sense. No one has been able to talk to them in years, not after they cut themselves out of the supernatural. If (Y/N) actually talked to them, then she is the first person in a millenium to ever see or speak to them. It’s a miracle she’s even alive.”

“Yeah, they almost fucking killed me.” You start to rise from the couch, rubbing your temples as you do so. “Think I could get a glass of water, my throat is fucking killing me.”

“You’re up! And so quickly!” Izuku stared in amazement at the girl who not only escaped death, but talked to some of the oldest beings in the universe.

“Yay, lucky me.. Can I just get some fucking water? Don’t mean to be rude, but I can feel my broken ribs and my dry ass throat so a little help would be appreciated.” Dry as ever, you spoke to no one in particular as you lean back into the couch and press the ice bag into the ribs that are broken. “Could someone grab me some rat tails, lavender powder and milk from the toad? Should fix these ribs real quick…”

“On it,” Mina hops up from her seat and runs off to gather what you asked.

“How are you feeling? Besides the ribs and headache.” Ochako reaches for your hand, taking it into her own.

“Pretty good, actually. Great Ones offered some knowledge, albeit for a price.” Peeking an eye open, you gaze at your peers. 

“Did you find the answer?”

“What ‘price’?” The negotiator and the vampire spoke at the same time, both asking valid questions but concerned about different matters.

“Cool your jets, besties,” fangs bared, Katuski growled at the thought of being “besties” with a fucking nerd, “I need to heal up before I start spilling the details.” Just then, Mina runs back into the room, all three ingredients in hand along with a mortar and pestle. 

“I got the stuff! What do I do now?”

“Now, you hand it all over and watch a witch work her magic.” Your greedy hands swipe the contents of a healing elixir and begin to mash everything together. Tediously, your fingers throw components into the mortar, then pressing them together with the pestle makes a liquid in which you drink in one big gulp. The group watches as your ribs emanate a sickly light, making the room glow in a mysterious manner. After about five seconds, it stopped and you stood up to stretch.

“Much better, now how about we go into the library so we can examine this,” you wave the torn book, “and figure out how to save the world.” Moving forward, you give them no time to answer. It gave them no choice but to follow you.

“Would you at least answer my damn question?” Katsuki remains in the doorframe, unmoving from his comfy position..

“How about you move out of my fucking way, and go to the library like I said? Maybe you’ll get your answer there, huh?” You shoulder check your way out of the lounge and into the library.

After everyone takes their places in various spots around the library, you begin to speak.

“I want to apologize for being so late, after I said I was only going to the harpies. Turns out, they don’t have much more information than mine and Midoriya’s libraries combined. Right as I was about to leave, Tokoyami said there might be one more group I should go see. He pulled me into his private room and gave me the liver of a mandrake as well as a page from his personal grimoire. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, but it was the alchemic way to reach the Great Ones. We talked for a short time after it about how to approach them and what would happen if they did or did not decide to help. Knowing we’re getting short on time, I did the ritual right there in his room, and low and behold I was taken to a dimension far outside our normal planes of existence. It was cold, dark and dank with a stench that rivaled the odors of giants. My senses were being attacked in the most foul of ways, but that was the least of my concerns as I was met with the eyes of not one, but three of the Greats.” You shudder at the memory. “When they spoke it was deafening. I felt like I was going mad, or at the very least I was losing all sense of control. They knew why I was there, and decided that it would be more beneficial to help me, as what is going on now also affects them.” You cast your gaze downward, whispering the next sentence. “They agreed to tell me what to do only if they were given a sacrifice-”

“EXCUSE ME?!” Bakugou roared from the other end of the room. “YOU TOLD THEM YOU WOULD SACRIFICE SOMEONE?!”

“Kacchan-”

“YOU DON’T GET TO SPEAK, DEKU. SHE IS GOING TO SACRIFICE SOMEONE! SHE DECIDED TO TRADE ONE OF US OFF FOR THE ‘GREATER GOOD’! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU ASK A GOOD FOR NOTHING WITCH FOR HELP! I TOLD YOU IT WAS A MISTAKE TO ASK HER FOR HELP!”

“I NEVER SAID IT WAS GONNA BE ONE OF YOU.” The commotion stops. All eyes are now on you. “I never fucking said it was going to be one of you, I didn’t even finish what I was saying…” Your eyes look down at the shaking in your hands. 

Todoroki reaches forward and takes your hands in his own, stopping the tremble that has overcome you. “Go on.”

You take a deep breath in, “Like I was saying, they asked for a sacrifice of a magical being, but one of great power so the balance in the cosmos would be right. I tried to ask them what the requirements were for ‘great power’, but I received no answer. Instead, this book,” you put it down on the table, “appeared in my hands. Next thing I knew, I was on the couch…”

“So you don’t know how to unlock the latch on the front?” The green haired boy slides the book to himself, examining it with a sense of importance.

“No, but I have a feeling I’m the only one that’s going to be able to open it.”

“Why is that?”

“I mean, I’m the first person in forever to even see one of the Greats, let alone live from an encounter with them. If I’m not able to open it, then no one can.”

“Okay, well are there any keys that you have on you now? Maybe it’s the same one as your house key or lab key?” You shrugged and pulled out a set of keys from your pocket. Immediately you noticed one that hadn’t been there previously.

“Or the one that just happened to appear…” Inserting the key, and twisting it releases the metal strap on the bind of the book. It makes a soft clicking noise as it opens. Greedily, you opened up the pages to see what they held, only to find them blank. “What the fuck?” Aggressively, you flip through the whole thing until you find one page where a plethora of information was held.

“Is that it?” Iida was peaking over your shoulder. In fact, the rest of the party had gathered around the table to see what was going on. Well, everyone except the blonde haired, red eyed vampire.

“It has to be. This is the only marked page.”

“Well, it seems to be in celestial. Can you decipher it?” You cock your eyebrow and turn to Iida.

“Is that a question?”

“Hey, less flirting, more reading,” Kaminari spoke.

“That wasn’t flirting, but not like you would know.” He jolts back at the sudden attack, feigning a hurt look. Small chuckles could be heard around the room, but they died down as everyone anticipated your analysis.

“It’s a ritual with both alchemic and abjuration magic,” your eyes continue down the page, trying to make sense of all the scribbles, “but it looks like there’s only one ingredient.”

“Let me guess, a sacrifice.” Red eyes bore deep into your figure as Katsuki spoke.

“...yeah.”

“And where the fuck are you going to find some ‘great magical being’?” His teeth are showing as he scowls once more. It may have been years since he’s seen you, but he knows what you’re thinking.

The knuckles on your hands start to turn white from the frustration that was building in your chest. You weren’t intending on telling everyone how you were going to let yourself be sacrificed in the name of Great Ones. You wanted to keep it a secret from them, but Katsuki could see right through you.

“I don’t know.”

“FUCKING LIAR!” He crosses the room with lightning speed and wraps his hands around your neck, crushing you into a nearby bookcase. Your vision is white for a split second, but returns to see a face with nothing but disgust across its features. Gasping for air, you attempt to pry his hands off of you, but it wasn’t worth trying as you knew the kind of strength Katsuki possesses. “I know what you’re planning to do! You want to kill yourself because some old ass supernaturals want you to, but I’m not gonna let that fucking happen.” He slams you into the bookcase once more after seeing your eyes start to drift off. “Do you hear me?!”

“Bakugou, get your hands off her now!” Iida, Todoroki, Kaminari, Kirishima and Midoriya run over to the scene and start to restrain Katsuki. They struggle to pull him back, but after a few seconds of letting you go, your whole body drops to the floor and your lungs start to gasp for oxygen. While you are coughing, Mina and Uraraka latch onto your sides and help you up. Now sitting down, you cough trying to catch your breath.

“What the hell were you thinking dude?! You didn’t even let (Y/N) fucking speak?!” Kirishima’s speech was a low growl, his eyes turning from the normal black color into a more yellow, dog-like eye.

“I’m not going to let her fucking die because she thinks she is self righteous. She’s not more important than any of us, and if she thinks so I’ll kill her myself.”

“How do you know that?! How do you know that she wants to sacrifice herself?! How do you know that she thinks she’s better?!” Kiri stops, waiting for an answer. When none presents itself, he continues his rant. “You don’t know what is going in her head! So stop assuming you know stuff that we don’t!”

“Kiri, stop before you make a fool of yourself.” Gently, you put your hand on the shoulder of the raging werewolf. His eyes fade into the black abyss they once were. All eyes were now on you, “Katsuki’s right. I was going to sacrifice myself…” several gasps were audible in the thick silence, “but not because I think I’m better than anyone here. We all are powerful in our own regard, but I’ve been alive for twelve hundred years. If anyone of us is going down, it’s going to be me.” Scoffing, Katsuki barges out of the room, unable to deal with the level of bullshit he just heard. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe he was powerful, or anyone else in the room (he wouldn’t say it outloud), but he couldn’t believe that you were willing to give up on yourself to save the world. Did you not see how important you are? Whether you knew it or not, he cared about you and he didn’t plan on letting you die anytime soon.

The tension built itself around the room as the still airwaves remained unchanged. Not even breathing could be heard. Standing up from the table, you put the chair back into place and made a grab for the book, but someone stopped you. 

“No,” green eyes bore into your own, “you’re not taking it. We’re locking it up. There has to be a different solution.”

“There isn’t! We’ve talked to everyone we possibly could have and no one else thought of anything! For fucks sake Midoriya, I had to talk to some ancient beings to get a hold of this spell and almost died because of it! I’m taking what’s mine!” With both hands, you yank it from his grasp.

“I said no (Y/N). We’ll find another way. There has to be another way-”

“There’s not! What is so hard to understand! The clock is ticking and it’s only a matter of time before it all turns to shit, might as well fix it now and get it over with!”

“(Y/N), just give me the grimoire. Don’t make this any more difficult than it needs to be. No one here wants you to die, and we’re not going to let you! Just pass it over.” Conflicted, your white knuckles loosen on the rough leather and place it down on the table. Without looking at anyone, you make your way to a spare room and sit on a bed, thinking about what else there was to do.

Hours passed as you thought about the end of it all. There is no other way for this to end. The fucking Old Ones said that this way the only way possible, so it has to be right? We exhausted all other resources: the scripts from Alexandria, my personal collection, Izuku’s personal collection and the harpies. None of us had anything. Your foot was tapping against the floor anxiously. If I could just get the pages from the book and get back to my place then it could all be over. None of them would have to worry anymore. It’s been a couple of hours… maybe they’re asleep. If I take it now and make a run for it, I’d have at least a couple hour head start. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about someone trying to stop me…

With a gameplan in mind, you stealthily make your way out of the room, creeping around as silently as possible. Passing a few other rooms, the snores of several companions reassure your suspicion. Now was the time to strike. Trying your damnedest not to make the floor creak, you tiptoe through the house to the library. You’re assuming it’s still there, but they could’ve removed it. Too busy focusing on trying to make a sound, you didn’t realize the pair of blood red eyes that closely follow.

Upon reaching the library, your eyes land on the old leather cover that lies exactly where you last remember. Swiftly taking it from its place and reaching for its key, you took the latch off and ripped the single page from its binding. As you did so, a knocking noise was heard from the entrance, but looking at it didn’t give you an answer. Everything was where you left it, but the uneasy feeling of eyes on you causes a thought to cross your mind. Am I being followed? Shoving the spell into your pocket, you glanced around one more time to make sure no one was there. 

“O custos revelare,” voice barely above a whisper and clutching the necklace of the triple goddess, the knowledge of Katsuki’s watchful eyes on you entered your consciousness. Great, just what I needed. How the fuck am I supposed to leave now? Maybe if I trapped him somewhere that he can’t be heard, or if I place a silencing spell? No, he’ll still be able to get someone’s attention. Best shot I got is to lure him out of earshot from the others and place a trapping spell, but that requires time… Fuck! What the hell am I supposed to do?!

Quickly trying to recover from the stream of thoughts, you make your way to the attic. This should be far enough from the others. If he screams up here they shouldn’t hear him, especially with all the fabric. Now how do I get the circle in place? ...goddamnit why the hell can’t my brain think of something? Abjuration? No, that’s later. Conjuration? No. Divination? No. Evocation? No. Necromancy? What the hell, no! Transmutation is a no go as well. That leaves alchemy, enchantments and illusions. Alchemy takes too long, so that’s out of the question, and Katsuki can easily overpower my enchantments. So illusions it is.

Katsuki watches as you stumble your way up a couple flights of stairs, trying so hard not to alarm anyone of your presence. He couldn’t help but feel amused at your little act. You just look so cute acting like a rogue trying to steal their first jewels. On the other hand, he couldn’t believe that after the outburst he had and Deku’s own freakout you still were going through with your plan. Do you not care about him? Do you seriously not realize just how important you are? Of course he’s gonna stop you; the minute you stormed off he knew there was a plan being formulated.

Shattering glass littered the stairwell as the nearest window blew inward. Immediately, Katsuki checks for intruders and looks down the stairwell to see that the other windows have been broken in as well. Peering up, he doesn’t see your figure any more and begins to panic. With his enhanced speed he runs downstairs and starts to sniff out anything suspicious.

Leaving the crystals in their place to keep the illusion going as long as possible, you could care less about making much noise. Bolting up to the attic, you shut the door behind you and took out a pocket knife, working on a trap, or abjuration, spell. The intricate carvings were taking longer than you thought, and the panic of being caught was causing you to slip up.

“Shit! Fuck!” There’s no time left! Once again grabbing the necklace of the goddess, you start reciting a simple fire spell and start to burn the lines into the wood floor, being careful not to burn the house down.

“Adolebitque imperium.” A small flame danced around the floor, as if following a line of gasoline. It wasn’t even a flame, but looked like the end of a stick of incense. The small embers made their way around the room, carving out sigils and words. Trapping a vampire was tough enough, but with Katsuki’s strength and will it was going to be even worse.

Back downstairs, Katsuki stalks the main floor, careful not to alarm something that could be in the house. His nose isn’t picking up on anything out of the ordinary, but he got the feeling that it was all a ruse. Looking around more only confirms his suspicion as he noticed no other windows were broken, and when he got back to the stairs those windows were put back.

“That sneaky little-” his feet pound on the ground as he makes his way to your location. “I can’t believe she- what a little- UGH!” He fells dumb. He knows your magic, but he couldn’t even figure it out on first glance - not like he used too, that is.

Reaching the top of the stairs and closing the door, he tries the doorknob, but to no avail. 

“(Y/N) open the door.” No response. He waits a few seconds until he tries again. “I swear to fucking God (Y/N), open the goddamn door or I will break it down.” Pressing an ear to the door, he listened to double check he was in the right area. After hearing some shuffling on the other side, his fists pound against the door. “I can fucking hear you, you know!” When no response came, again, he grabbed the door knob and snapped it off like it was a candy cane. “I’m coming in so don’t fucking attack me!”

You stand by an opened window, wind softly blowing through your hair and the moonlight highlighting your face in all the right ways. If only someone had a camera, this shot could make “Time” magazine. Katsuki’s breath was taken away at the scene; you looked so serene and just as beautiful as the day he met you. Although his heart wasn’t supposed to be beating, he felt as though it might leap out of his chest and run into your arms. You turn slowly, to face him with the ripped pages gently folded between your fingers.

“Hand it over. We both know I’m not letting this happen.” He inches closer in the room, about a foot away from the carvings on the floor. You just need to provoke him further, but the look in his eyes was killing you. They weren’t like anything you’d ever seen come out of Katsuki; even in the most intimate of moments. They screamed desperation but remain firm.

“It’s the only way, and you know it.” Eye contact hasn’t broken once since he bust the door open, but it only intensified as you speak.

“I don’t fucking care if it’s the only way. You are not dying for this, for these people! We both know what kind of shit the world puts us through and you want to put your life on the line for them. For those BASTARDS!” Screaming, he moves another few inches forward, eyes pleading for you to give in. “WHAT HAS THE WORLD EVER DONE FOR YOU?! BESIDES PUT YOU DOWN AND BEAT YOU TO THE CURB?!”

“It showed me you. Didn’t it?” The question startles him. You were the calm to his storm, the yin to his yang and yet… he didn’t want to admit that the world actually did him good.

“No. I gave myself to you. I wanted to be with you. I loved you. I still love you. Can’t you see this is fucking killing me?! Can’t you see that I just want to be with you?! CAN’T YOU SEE THAT I WANT YOU BACK?! THAT I WANT TO WAKE UP TO YOU WITH ME EVERYDAY?! WHY THE FUCK CAN’T YOU-” He didn’t realize he had closed his eyes with rage, and that you had made your way across the room to him. In the middle of his rant, you placed your soft hand on his cheek, caressing his face. Instinctually, he presses his cheek further into your touch, opening his eyes to meet yours. It felt like he had just had a sip of water after a centuries-long drought; this was something he didn’t acknowledge that he needed so badly, but now that it was happening he only wanted more.

“That day that you left, I was broken. For years I was only half the person I once was, and it was because I didn’t have you. I thought that you hated me, and never wanted to see me again…” 

“I could never hate you,” he grabbed your wrist, “not after everything we’ve been through. Not after our sleepless nights of talking, the years of moving around and the fact that you’re the only person I’ve ever been myself around.” He sighs, the whole ordeal becoming emotionally taxing. Not once did he ever open himself up to anyone; not after you. It was hard enough for you to crack him, but once you two were through, he built up walls of steel. “I never stopped loving you. You are the only one for me. You’re the only person willing to put up with my bullshit and able to control my temper. Even if you are a damn witch, you’re my damn witch.”

Tears start to haze both of your visions, but you give in, letting them cascade down your cheek. Heart clenched, ready to burst, you enveloped yourself in his scent, embracing him like your life depended on it. He quickly returns the gesture and places his head in the crook of your neck. The two of you stayed like this for a moment before gently rocking back and forth. Slowly, you inch him closer to the abjuration spell.

Goddess, what have I done to deserve this? Why do I have to be the one fucking person he loves but also the one person that can save everyone from certain doom? Why am I just getting him back now, right before the end? Crying harder, you push yourself further into his chest. He didn’t take this as “out of the normal” because he thought you were still crying over him; that’s not saying you weren’t, but other thoughts were on your mind. Your body still moves closer to the circle, pulling Katsuki with you. What the fuck (Y/N). You could’ve just placed the circle and left, but no. You had to stick around and make everything 1000 times harder.

The sound of wood burning turns Katsuki’s attention to the ground, where he sees the sigils recarve themselves into the floor. He was flabbergasted, the breath knocked right out of him.

“(Y/N)...?” His voice was weak as he spoke, as if pleading for this to be a dream and not the hell he was about to go through.

“I’m so sorry. I wish there was another way but there isn’t and I just-” He releases your hug, his body going rigid as he starts to piece it together.

“You tricked me… after everything I said and did, you trapped me. You’re gonna fucking kill yourself and you trapped me here so I can’t stop you.”

“There’s no other way. The Greats said that it had to be a powerful magic user, and we both know Izuku, Iida, Todoroki and Uraraka don’t make the cut. The harpies don’t have anyone as powerful as me either and it doesn’t look like we’ll be finding anyone powerful within the next couple of days. I can end this now. The panic, the worry; it could all be over with tonight.” You step out of the circle, grabbing the instructions from your pocket and holding them to your chest.

“You decided that instead of staying with me, you’d rather die. Am I hearing this correctly? YOU WOULD RATHER NOT EXIST THAN BE WITH ME?!” He ran up to you, but the invisible barrier holds him from reaching your body.

“Don’t. Don’t make this about you. This is about more than just us and it is definitely about more than what we had forever ago. I’m fucking sorry neither of us got our acts together in time, but the balance of nature needs to be set anew. If I had known that you still loved me, that you still cared for me, then yeah, this whole situation might’ve turned out differently. But the fact that it took us almost 1000 years to get our shit together and talk to each other says a little something. Maybe we’re both too headstrong to be in a relationship. Hell, that’s how the last one ended! So don’t you dare make this about you, because there are so many other people that I love and want to look out for than just you. The world is counting on me because if I don’t do this, then the world as we know it won’t be in existence within the next few days.” You turn to the window, taking a deep breath and slowing your rapid heart rate.

As you approach the window, you mutter “revertetur in terram suam” and the forest around the house transforms into the inside of your bedroom. Once more, you took a deep breath to ease the pain of leaving everyone behind.

“Tell them I love them, and I did it for the best.” You walk over to Katsuki and rip off your triple goddess necklace, offering it to him. “I know you’re not religious, but it’s a piece of me. So you don’t forget.” Reluctantly, he reaches out and takes it, examining it with a furrowed brow.

“I would never fucking forget…” it was barely audible, but it made your heart flutter.

“I love you, Katsuki. Even if it seems like I’m betraying you, I want you to know that I hope you find someone who loves you and can crack that barrier over your heart.” Walking over to the portal, you utter one last sentence, “Please take care of yourself,” and then you’re gone.

[wandering-child-rp]

For the mini fic: what about number 7 things you said while driving for E/C 💖💖

“Thanks for the lift. You didn’t have to. I could have gotten the bus.” Christine forced a smile onto her nervous face as Erik gripped the steering wheel a little harder. It was painful for him but he didn’t like the idea of Christine alone on public transport late at night.

The lights of the highway would bathe the saloon car into bright light every so often and gave them both some shadows to hide in. Christine put the lead in her stomach down to nerves.

“I don’t mind driving you. I know you’d do the same for me if I needed a favour.”

“Except I don’t have a car and I cannot drive.” Christine laughed, it was a one-sided friendship. It was strange really. He didn’t seem to have many friends and it was always Christine chasing him. Unless it was after a lesson because then Erik always had a fantastic dinner for her, a great bottle of wine and he was good company. There had been a while when Christine had developed a crush on him but it was never reciprocated. She’d given him a thousand opportunities and lingering a little longer than needed at the door waiting for a kiss that never came.

Her hands stretched over her thighs with a huff of air.

“Nervous?” Erik asked but desperately he didn’t want to hear Christine pour out her feelings about her new boyfriend. He hated the constant buzzing of her phone when they sat together or the way she’d smile and laugh at whatever was on that stupid screen.

“Yeah... a little. I wish he could have come back instead of me flying out to him.” Erik’s large hand landed onto Christine’s with a comforting squeeze.

“I know. It’s sad your missing the season opener.” In his heart of hearts, he wanted Christine to be sat next to him in the box. He wanted to twist the playbill in his hands over and over trying to pluck up the courage to slide his hand into hers. Exactly like it was now. His hazel eyes went wide and he whipped away the warmth all too suddenly leaving Christine confused again and feeling like an imposition.

It would have been nice to go with Erik. He was a gentleman truly. Yes, he was a little older than her but he was sweet and respectful. Meg kept saying it was just a crush on an older man who had that mysterious thing but Christine wasn’t so sure. She laughed at his clever jokes and dumb ones and could listen for hours to him play or dissect a film scene by scene. He lent her books that he thought she needed to read and empowered her beyond belief. Only when she needed it though did he interfere.

</i>

“Your favourite book is ‘Pride and prejudice? Did Mr Darcy like Elizabeth more because she was outspoken and her own woman?” Christine only nodded. “Then stop pandering to these idiots. Yes, take their direction but not when it cuts you down. If it doesn’t stop I’ll bloody tell them.”

“They’re bossy; not romantic though.” She said trying to lighten the atmosphere and stop feeling like such a silly little girl. Erik only raised his eyebrows and bit his tongue trying to keep his attention solely on the tv in front of them. “No one has ever declared their undying love for me.”

“Maybe if you followed the advice.” </i>

Erik remembered that night. The air hung thick as Christine ran her finger around the rim of her glass and the silence rang. He knew he loved her then. It was sudden and all at once; like drowning. He fought it but couldn’t swim to the surface again. It was fine when it was just lessons and direction but then they met up. She didn’t look at the mask but at Erik’s eye. He held his temper and the time it was ragged, she simply laid her hand on his shoulder and then it took all his power not to declare his feelings. Erik wasn’t stupid; she was young, beautiful and smart. Out of his league. Then, she suddenly had a boyfriend on the scene after a connection with an old friend. It was dreadful to watch them. Erik was waiting at the stage door with flowers but they ended up in the trash can when he realised he’d been beaten to the punch.

The pair came to the airport all too quickly. Christine methodically checked off her list for the hundredth time.

“Passport? Yes. Money? Yes. Ticket? Yes. Phone? Yes. Makeup bag? Yep. So, I’m all set.” Christine looked beautiful in her thick sweater, the mass of curls blow dried out by the hairstylist this morning and her body bouncing nervous energy as she smiled widely at Erik with the harsh light reflecting off his mask. “Vienna, here I come! City of opera dreams and I’ll be back in a few weeks.”

Erik knew she wouldn’t come back. She had nothing in Paris anymore and her father was back in Sweden. He knew the allure of a new city and a new start but he’d miss her too much to admit. She was tense and clearly something was distracting her, as always, she just blurted it out after only a stern look from her mentor.

“He’s nice, right? He’s not texted much but now a driver is going to pick me up? That’s okay, isn’t it?” Erik wouldn’t dream of it. He would even let her take public transport alone and insisted she stayed in his guest room when he caved and shared a bottle of wine with her.

“Yes.” He replied monosyllabically before adding some care when he saw Christine's face drop a little. “Let me know when you get to his house at least. Goodbye, angel.”

‘Angel’ Christine melted just like when he’d coined the term back for her. She had not known his name when the first note had come or the loud shout across the stage from a fast-moving figure. Erik had told her to start an octave higher and, it had worked perfectly, she had hit the last note despite not knowing. Jokingly, she’d referred to him since as her ‘Angel of music’. It had become truthful as her broken heart had begun to mend itself.

“I can still call you, can’t I?” Erik noted she was picking at the handle of her bag and delaying for time. Nodding, Erik was about to splurge out everything but as he opened his mouth, some jackass behind him started to honk for the drop off space.

“Of course. Good luck with the audition. I’ll come to see you perform, I’m sure.”

He watched her walk away with the backpack that was his before, handbag and battered suitcase decorated with a floral print. It wasn’t medically possible but he was quite sure he could physically feel his heartbreaking. The tears clouded his vision so Erik gave up trying and pulled in for a drive-through coffee he’d normally baulk at. Red and white lights flashed overhead as planes carrying people off to their dreams, vacations and loved ones. The pain came in another crashing wave as he saw the coffee Christine got flash on the menu board; double-shot caramel latte. How was it possible for a coffee to cause a thousand stabs of ice to a heart. Erik reconciled himself to just wait out the hour and a half to watch her plane take off into the night sky. Then he’d go home and drink his body weight in liquor.

The whole plane groaned as the captain announced the delay. They’d sat on the tarmac for half an hour but it felt so much longer for someone as nervous as she was. Christine swore under her breath as she wrestled the backpack from the compartment. Why wasn’t Erik here? He never had to stand on his tiptoes to reach anything.

1 Voice Note from ‘Angel of Music 🎶 (ERIK DESTLER). 20 minutes ago. Christine held the phone to her ear as she jostled her way through disgruntled people and his velvet tones spilled into her ears.

‘So, I’m just at Starbucks and I can’t not say this anymore. I’m so sorry to do this, Christine, and like this. Look, just don’t listen past this but let me do it. We can pretend it never happened. I really want you to be happy and I don’t care if that’s not with me but... fuck... I don’t even know why I’m doing this but... here goes. I love you. A lot. Always have and always will. You can’t blame me because look at you and look at me. I know you won’t feel the same but I care for you so much, Christine. My wretched heart will always belong to you. The one who saw through the bullshit. Don’t think nothing or no one is missing you in Paris because I will be. Don’t dwell on it though. Go be happy... If you want to come home or something goes wrong, I’ll buy your ticket home and be waiting to collect you. Anytime, any day, just call me. You can always call me. No questions asked.’ There was a noise of a steering wheel being slapped and Erik squeezing his nose and clearing his throat before a new note started. ‘Anyway, just call me if you need and, best of luck. I know you’ll be perfect and don’t take any shit from anyone. I’ll get over all of this and I’m sorry. Unless you didn’t listen to that message in which case, erm, send me a postcard kid.’

Christine felt like the world had fallen out from under her and anything she thought was true wasn’t anymore. Throwing her handbag onto the seat, she paced around and listened to the message again. Surely she’d misheard him.

Erik perched himself on the wing of his car. His third cup of coffee in one hand a cigarette in the other as he blew smoke into the sky and watched a plane take off. Her flight was seven minutes late but he saw the green tail knew it was her flight as the flight app hadn’t updated with the last-minute delay.

“Fucking hell, Erik...” he mumbled to himself and threw the butt of the cigarette away after only taking three drags. “Stupid bastard...”

Never before had he felt so deflated but with freedom now. It was out into the world regardless of his regrets or lack of. The words where just like the smoke; impossible to catch or recall in the night sky. It was what it was, Erik thought as he sat back in the driver's seat and drummed the leather wheel defeated. He sat there spinning his phone on his thigh whilst the radio played the weather forecast monotonously. He had muted Christine and unmuted her twice just in case she needed him suddenly yet he hadn’t looked to see if she heard the message before boarding. The timing was meant to be that she’d already have shut off her phone before getting on the plane. It was nearly an hour ago since he’d practically bled the words out of his mouth and tonight, he’d go home and get very drunk before sleeping in tomorrow and he’d remain drunk until the opening night of the opera in four days. Then, he’d force himself back together and to face the world.

“Erik?” That voice. His head whipped around quickly and pulled a muscle. “My- my flight got delayed.”

His face visibly dropped but Christine held up her phone with the screen illuminating the picture of the artwork in Erik’s corridor that she adored. It was a perfect metaphor. Even when it wasn’t about him, Erik was never far from her thoughts.

“I got your message.” The young woman was nervous and simply flying on instinct as the moments turned into seconds and she was closing the gap between them and then her body hit his and their lips met in a breathless kiss full of fire and longing. Christine’s smile was large and her eyes crinkled when Erik looked shocked and confused. Slowly, his long arms wrapped around her waist and one knee shook weakly. She was here, in his arms and smiling at the thought of him. “I wish you’d told me before.”

“I didn’t want to cloud our friendship.”

“Friendship? Erik, it was never just a friendship with us. It doesn’t take me five minutes to unlock my door and say goodbye in the car and I wanted you. I thought you could see that-“

In response, his lips met hers again as one palm cradled her cheek. The mask was unforgiving but Christine knew what was underneath already from coming over early months ago. He’d freaked out and was embarrassed but she handled it without a moment of thought.

“Are you staying?” Erik whispered with a voice dripping with dark honey and his nose rubbed against hers as Christine cuddled him close in the chilly night with her arms around his neck.

Several hours later and Erik was kissing Christine’s nude shoulder as he cuddled behind her still unable to sleep despite their activities. Christine hummed in happily nuzzled softly in a bed that smelt of his cologne. She couldn’t stop thanking delayed flights and voice notes of deep thoughts in cars. She could have missed out on her love so easily but as Erik’s chest pressed against her back in his bed, Christine knew she was exactly where she was meant to be.

@sloanedestler

[just2bubbly]

The Brootp that accidentally  became the OTP!

Masterlist

Rumors and Affairs: Chapter List

//This is the update of The Father She Never Had!

A/N: The title is ironical so don’t get confused!

Cinder’s POV-

Thanks to Torin she felt good again, she decided to act on his suggestion and hence she was here, trying to comm Thorne and Cress.  

It was Cress who picked up the call and enabled the netlink connection. The Rampion was in the view behind her and from her stay in the satellite it seemed like she was in the galley.

“Hi Cinder!” she said excitedly. She would not seem so excited after she hears what Cinder had done.

“Hey!” she replied rather uninterestedly.

“How are you and Kai?”

“We are doing well. What about you and Thorne?”

“We are absolutely fine. How’s the baby?”

“The baby is healthy as well.”

Thorne poked his head inside the net-screen and with a smug face said,” Oh! What’s my favorite royalty doing?”

She looked numbly at him. She was far from fine even though she just told Cress that she’s fine.

Sensing that everyone has gone silent, Cress started talking trying to establish a conversation.

“Thorne and I have been coming up with baby names. Do you want to hear them?”

She had asked each of her friends to suggest baby names. Kai and she were already thinking about naming their child Peony or Rikan after their loved ones. However both of them were quite against the notion of naming their child after dead people even though they were dear to them. Winter was quite enthusiastic about this activity. She had already suggested the name-‘Aruna’ for a girl which means ‘moon love’ in Japanese. Kai liked it. Wolf had suggested ‘Astra’ for a girl who means ‘star’ and Cinder liked this one.

“If it’s a boy then Kale otherwise Nysa for a girl.” Cress suggested.

“Do you know the gender of the baby?” Thorne asked.

“No, Kai wants it to be a surprise.”

“Can you tell the gender of the baby because of your cybernetics like you had realized that you were pregnant before doing a test?”

“Dunno, are you curious?” She asked teasingly.

“NO! I am just saying that if the gender was known then finding the name would have been easy.”

Cress and Cinder snickered. Not knowing the gender was driving Thorne mad in a way.

“Why did you comm, Cinder? Tell me it’s because you just can’t resist my charms.”

“Captain” Cress scolded. Cinder smiled at the pair. She was waiting for Thorne to propose and see Cress’s elated face. Needless to say, Cress was in love with Thorne before she had even met him.

“Sorry to burst your bubble but Kai is more handsome than you so I would have commed him instead if I wanted to see a handsome face.”

“That hurts.” He said faking the hurt look.

“Serves you right.” Cress and Cinder muttered at the same time. He grinned at them, devilishly. 

“Besides I had commed for another reason. I wanted to inform and have some advice over something that I messed up maybe.” She said tensing up.

“You are asking me for advice?” Thorne asked, his brows rising.

“I am asking not saying that I will follow your advice. Didn’t I just say the word ‘inform’ or did you not hear it?”

“What’s wrong with you Cinder?” Cress asked worriedly.

“Yeah, What’s got you in a black mood?” he added.

She should not take out her anger on Thorne. She should be calm and collected. Damn herself and her hormones.

“I am sorry. I should not take my anger on you.”

“It’s okay. That’s what friends are for.” Thorne assured her.

“What did you want to tell, Cinder?” Cress asked.

How could she tell them that she had with her nonsense zoning out confirmed rumors of an affair?

“I did something.”

Seeing that Cinder was going to take a long pause, he asked, “And what’s this something?”

Ah! Why can’t Thorne just keep quiet for a while?! Stars above, telling Kai was so easy as compared to Thorne and Cress.

“I zoned out in a meeting and accidentally confirmed the ongoing rumors about you and me.” She stuttered.

“Uh! Which rumors?” Thorne asked.

“Really Thorne for the person who travels around the world, don't you keep yourself updated with some news.” It appeared that Cress knew about what she was referring too. Cinder had already guessed this because IT WAS CRESS- she knew the internet rumors like the back of her hand.

She glanced at Cress. She was trying her best to maintain a neutral face and not make it more awkward for Cinder, as if it could change anything else.

“Captain I think Cinder means the rumors which mention that you and her are dating without Kai knowing about it.” Thorne’s expression changed from confusion to horror and revulsion.

“Are they the one Cinder?” he cried.

Ashamedly, she nodded my head.

“Shit! No wonder you are acting so bizarre.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be shouting at me?” she whispered.

“Well I am supposed to but what the hell did you actually do?”

She explained both of them her situation and saying that Thorne was a bit angry would have been the understatement of the century. Cress casted some pitying glances along her way but both of them were truly disappointed in her.

“Well you are really in trouble, have a good time convincing people that we are not dating.”

“I am really sorry.”

“It’s not just your problem Cinder; do not blame everything upon yourself.” Cress said reassuringly.

“Besides, didn't Kai already come with damage control plans?”

She could not really look in both of their eyes and speak with them. Hence, she kept her eyes low and murmured something unintelligible. She felt like a disappointing coward, was she really the same person who had killed Levana, a tyrant?! 

A headline popped up in her newsfeed stating how “The Emperor will himself address the rumours about the Empress’s courting tomorrow.”

“-He looked miserable and heartbroken upon hearing the news and well it was supposed to happen but he appeared truly devastated on the comm and I am worried.. ” she mumbled.

“Cress can Cinder and I talk alone for a few minutes?” Thorne asked. Hearing this, her head shot up rapidly, Thorne had made some unspoken conversation with Cress already. Something that was clearly not meant for her to see.

Cress left the room only to make Thorne and Cinder avoid each other's eyes for an eternity.

“You screwed up really bad Cinder, huh?”

“If you are going to make me feel worse in any way then let me tell you that internally I am drowning in an ocean of misery so don’t do it.”

“This is not a big joke Cinder, Kai is obviously feeling sad and so am I. Didn’t I tell you that I was supposed to propose to Cress? I can’t do it, Now that you have made this mess.” He spoke glaring daggers at her.

“I am sorry Thorne.”

Thorne berated, “You better be.” She had dragged so many others along with her.

“I am supposed to take a pre-paternity test tomorrow to give an official statement regarding true parentage of the heir.”

“I really feel sorry for you Cinder.”

“You won’t believe how calm everyone is reacting then what I had expected?!” she said honestly.

“Did you want Kai to shout at you or what?” he jokingly asked.

“Not like that Thorne but why can’t you just be like Cress- all assuring and caring?”

“I hope you solve this problem soon- wait! I had this brilliant idea.”

“Hmm.. Not sure if I want to hear this one” preparing herself to hear whatever he had to suggest.

He glared at me and continued,” How about I declare my unconditional love to Cres so that the people would have something else to talk about and they would probably believe that we are not dating”

“The idea is not what I expected but don’t you think that would look like a forced political move? Furthermore won’t it sadden Cress?”

“Yeah” he said with a crestfallen face “what a foolish idea!”

She had wanted him to suggest glamour-ing the journalists into declaring their reposts as void. She personally had liked this idea for a few moments before realizing that ‘It’s such a Levana thing’ to do. Cinder did not want to be a dictator or a tyrant anytime soon.

“Did you tell Iko about this?” he questioned.

“Why would I do that? I have not lost my mind yet. Besides she would kill me upon knowing this. Don’t you know her?” she bawled at his absurdity to ask something like this.

“Okay, no need to shout it.”

“I am afraid,” she admitted.

“Why?”

“Kai is coming today and I don’t know what to expect.”

“He would understand and you know I should not say this.. But I would” he mumbled but then continued with some sort of renewed vigor “I think ‘you both can and will work it out!’” he exclaimed with some new found profoundness

“Really Thorne? Work it out, what kind of garbage advice is that?”

“You should become polite like royalty is supposed to be. Learn from Winter!”

“How about you start giving advice like Jacin then huh?” she retorted.

“Believe me Cinder you would not like me then.” He said making a face at the idea of him acting like Jacin.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” she yelped after seeing the numerous messages on her retina scanner.

“What happened?”

She saw Torin’s message on the portscreen. Kai’s plane had landed and how long had she been talking with Thorne that it was afternoon already?!

“Kai is here.”

“Logically you should be happy but you don’t look like that-” she glared daggers at him. If looks could kill, Cinder would be a serial killer.

“Look who’s talking about logistics” she whispered under her breath.

“Don’t you have to go and greet/welcome him probably?” he said making her remember about her Empress duties.

She should already be present to greet Kai but here she was talking  with Thorne. She had convinced herself in believing yesterday that she was an irresponsible Empress and wife. Now that she made such daft mistakes she was questioning why she had not convinced herself before.

”Yeah, why am I forgetting stuff and being an idiot? I am really sorry for the mess I made but I have to go Thorne, Bye!”

“Tell Kai that I said-” Before he could complete, she had ended the comm.

There was no time to waste. She hurriedly left the chambers only to bump into the person she most wanted to see and avoid right now.

__

A/N: I did not give my best, so this is bad. Bear with me!

[write-a-bad-romance]

Only If You Hurry (Comte/Leo)

Pairing: Leonardo x Comte, with hints of Vlad x Comte

Rating: T

Word Count: 1738

Prompt: Hurt/Comfort, Leo and family matters, modern AU

Ao3 Link: Here

Note: I'll be referring to Comte as "Saint-Germain" throughout this fic because I don't want to spoil his first name. Also, his views about same-sex relationships do not reflect the author's actual opinion.

Vanilla-scented smoke trailed behind Leonardo as he located the door to Saint-Germain's apartment and knocked furiously. The sound of a violin was abruptly cut and replaced by footsteps approaching the door. 

Leonardo didn't need to announce who he was. The man inside already knew.

Or maybe not. Saint-Germain still needed to look through the peephole to make sure. Leo heard the sound of unlatching as he stared at the tip of his scuffed leather shoes, a stark contrast against the grimy maroon carpet.

All the money in the world and still he refused to move someplace newer, fancier. But then, the entire building is HIS anyway. 

The door opened with a heavy creak as Saint-Germain's worried face came into view.

"I wasn't expecting a guest. At least not tonight." The blond man sighed, "But at this point, this is your house as much as it's mine, isn't it?"

Saint-Germain backed away to allow Leonardo some space. The moment he stepped into the room, he noticed an ornate decanter of wine and matching glasses on the coffee table.

"I thought you weren't expecting company," Leonardo smacked his lips. The living room was bathed in a warm golden glow, just like everything Saint-Germain.

"I had a feeling knew you'd come."

The larger man decided to let further comments die on his tongue. He marched towards the burgundy velvet armchair and sunk against the cushioning. Other men of his size would complain about how cramped it was, but Leonardo welcomed the snug comfort it offered.

He loved sitting at this very chair and let himself soak in the familiarity of his surroundings. Even more so when the master of the house was around and he would—

Leonardo batted his thoughts away as Saint-Germain probed him. "Is this about that date you mentioned a few days ago?"

"Jeez, how did you know?"

"Just a guess. To be honest, I can't tell you if you just came back from your lab or a fancy restaurant on a hotel rooftop." Saint-Germain gestured towards Leo's desultory choice of clothes. "You're not even trying anymore."

"Yeah, well. She’s a friend of my cousin, my only good cousin. How was I supposed to refuse?" 

"Family matters. I understand." Saint-Germain poured from his decanter and passed it onto the slouching man. "But you can't keep doing this if it means coming to me moaning about it."

"Grazie," Leonardo accepted his friend's offering, but not without almost dropping the glass and letting its content spill onto Saint-Germain's antique Persian rug. "And thank you for being such a good friend and taking in the burnt of my woes."

He wasn't far off from the truth. Despite his harsh words, Saint-Germain would always nod and listen with that almost-holy, serene visage. And without fail, the man would offer him little quips of advice, some soothing words here and there. Sometimes, outright spats were inevitable. But even then, it was Saint-Germain who stood his ground and made Leonardo spend the rest of the night reflecting and repenting.

The weary lecturer closed his eyes and sighed. The good, young doctor wasting all his attention on me? This can't be right.

"Was she really that...undesirable?" The occupant of Leo's thoughts picked his violin once again and pressed it against his collarbone. "How long did you, erm, last?"

"Dio. You make it sound so obscene," Leonardo scoffed. "She wasn't. It's just, well...."

Saint-Germain let out a wry chuckle and gave him a hearty smile. "I see. So it's your tastes that's currently leaning towards....men. Did I put that correctly?"

"Well, I guess you're not entirely wrong." Leonardo hoped he could blame the wine for the rosy tinge that swept across his cheeks.

"Understandable," Saint-Germain cradled the instrument on his arm, a faraway gaze to his eyes. "Once you're accustomed to the comforts of a man, it'll take you a while before you stop searching his image in other men."

Leonardo threw a pointed look at the oblivious man. That's not how it works. 

Besides, aren't you just talking about yourself?

"Really," Saint-Germain ignored his indignant gaze and sat on the loveseat across Leonardo, his own filled glass in hand. "Even if you've dropped hints here and there, wouldn't it be better if you confront your family and tell them the truth?"

"Those were major hints I've been dropping," Leonardo raised his voice. "I had another cousin calling me just to ask about some guy in my Facebook photo from five years ago."

"And?" Saint-Germain licked his wine-tinted lips. Grazioso, Leonardo wanted to say. "What did you tell him?"

"I asked him what his point was. He hung up immediately after," Leo snickered. "Guy must have been scared shitless of me sounding so angry. I never showed that side to him before."

"See?" The blond man sighed, pouring himself a second glass. "Deflecting questions is not a confirmation. Neither is silence."

Leonardo watched intently as the other man rose from his seat to get his violin. His best friend looked enticing in a white shirt with sleeves rolled up to his elbows, he had to admit. The ensemble would've been made perfect if Saint-Germain had on a black waistcoat—

Damn the alcohol for letting my mind run loose.

"Anyway, since you're here to drink your sorrows away," Saint-Germain lifted his violin. "Why don't I play something for you?"

Leo bit back a scoff. That's not the kind of comforting I need, but that's about the only thing I can get from this. More than this, and it’d be—

"Sure," He flashed a cheeky grin, "Are you taking requests? Wait, no classics. I don't want you to lull me to sleep."

Saint-Germain set his bow on top of his violin's strings, the instrument waiting in position. "Anything for you."

The pair laughed their worries off into the night, accompanied by Leonardo's off-key singing. It was tiring, the Italian thought. 

But relaxing, in its own superficial way.

“Anyway,” Leonardo spoke much later as he began gathering his belongings. “How’s it going with your cara mia?”

Saint-Germain seemed taken aback by the sudden question. “Oh, everything is fine. Why do you ask?”

“No,” Leonardo paused, wondering if Saint-Germain noticed the awkwardness of his phrasing. Not that it mattered, going by the inanimate turn of his voice.

“There’s nothing for you to worry about,” Ah there it was, Saint-Germain’s signature stern look that appeared whenever Leonardo managed to land a crack on his defenses. “Now, look at you, fussing over someone else’s love life over your own.”

“I get it, I get it.” Leonardo waved a hand in defeat as he made a beeline towards the exit. “Besides, it won’t do if your girlfriend notices I’m going to your apartment all the time. She might get suspicious.”

“She already has,” The smaller man gently pushed Leo’s back as he ushered him out of his abode. “Now go home and get to bed. Don’t wander off into some bar for another drink. Or guy.”

“Santo Dio! No need to keep scolding me! Save your lectures for later!” Leonardo laughed, his face completely flushed. “Thanks anyway. See you when I see you?” 

“Anytime for a dear friend.” Saint-Germain patted the padding of Leonardo’s jacket.

“Right. Ciao.”

Leonardo cursed in Italian as he slammed his fist on a nearby wall.

“Shit.” He ran a sweaty hand over his weary face. “What was I thinking? Wasting my time and whining to the very person I want."

Leonardo could never say he loved the man. He longed for him. He lost sleep over him. Crying for him might be a little too much, but still, it was the blonde hair and amber eyes that followed him to sleep and starred in his dreams. 

And every time, Leonardo would wake up panicked, alone and panting.

And desiring.

He remembered carefully warning his 'wards' Salai and Melzi, "Never go for unavailable men. Don't give in to the delusion that you're somehow going to make it work, whatever it takes."

"Withdraw while there's still time. It's not worth it." He admonished severely.

Leonardo laughed at his hypocrisy, disgust welling in the pits of his stomach. Even if his frivolity hadn't corrupted Saint-Germain, the other man had enough poison in himself to get the job done. Time and time again, he would gaze into the man's golden orbs and find nothing there. 

He would give so much of himself to others but never oblige anybody else to fulfill him. Would never allow anyone close to his heart.

Leonardo knew he couldn't handle him, Saint-Germain and his darkness. And neither could the man endure him. So why did he—

How did he fall in this deep? 

Leonardo shook his head and carried on with a forceful stride. They were fools, both of them. But Leonardo was an absolute abject for letting his heart and brain to be wholly governed by the image of a man who clearly wouldn’t look his way.

Nor anywhere else.

Saint-Germain stared dumbly at the blinding screen of his phone. There was no delivery notification under his latest message.

She was still blocking him. He could only pray the email reached her inbox and didn't end up in the spam or whatever abyss she subjected him. He couldn't afford another postponement. If he was lucky, this weekend, they'd have one last dinner, and Saint-Germain would offer to end their meetings.

Leonardo and his colleagues would praise him for being the one in control, always the dominant one. They believed Comte could pull away gracefully and call off his relationships at the drop of a hat.

Oh, if only such was the case. Saint-Germain battled day and night to gain control over his erratic feelings, hidden under lock and key beneath his impassive facade.

The constant battles made him vulnerable. Weak people had no business supporting another, not when they could barely stand on their own two feet.

And he was so close to baring it all to the very person he'd laid his eyes on. 

Leo can't keep seeing me like this. So prone and useless.

You're a strong man who deserves an even stronger man. It will never be me.

He recalled Leonardo murmuring to him over another round of wine on the balcony of some hotel a long time ago.

It should be easy, being with the one you love. 

Love isn't supposed to hurt or tire you out. If it's running your heart rugged to the ground, then what's the point?

Right?

Saint-Germain twisted the silicone casing of his phone furiously. He didn't know. How could he answer?

What was love supposed to feel like?

Joyeux anniversaire, Comte! Sorry I’m offering nothing but angst on this jolly day! :’)))

This was actually a request from anon, but I decided to make a longer piece from the prompt. The original draft had Renaissance influences thrown in, but things got hectic and I couldn’t continue my research. So I decided to go with mu usual jam: Modern AU.

Also, I think I overdid the hurt and added too much angst. I hope it’s okay.

Thank you to @ashavazesa for helping me brainstorm ideas. I’m sorry things didn’t come out like we intended to, but your suggestion (namely, Comte playing the violin for Leonardo) stuck with me and it fit nicely. Thank you!

[percywinchester27]

Worth it

Word count: 1.7K

Pairing: Dean X Castiel, Coffee shop AU

Warnings: Fluffy and cute!

Square filled: Ship

Summary: Dean Winchester owns the beloved coffee shop in town, and he loves that his life is predictable, until a certain blue eyed man walks into his shop and his life.

A/N: This is my first entry for the @sdavid09​‘s Tale Teller’s 2020 Bingo Challenge. Please let me know what you think!

If there was one thing that could be said about Dean Winchester with absolute certainty, it was that he loved making his customers happy. If you visited his coffee shop, you left satisfied and appreciated. This was why his little coffee shop was so loved by everyone who visited. The coffee was always good, but so was the morning after being greeted by him.

Dean knew everyone in the little town and everyone knew him. Here, he lived his life with satisfaction and without many surprises. He liked it that way, too.

That was true until on Saturday, 20th of August, when the guy in the Trench coat walked in. 

Even if Dean hadn’t immediately known that he was new to this place,  the man’s awkward mannerism would have been enough to point it out.

He glanced around the shop and then walked to the counter, holding his hands clumsily at his side, as if he didn’t know what to do with them.

“A coffee to go please?” His voice was deep and low pitched. It was funny that Dean even noticed it, since he was awestruck looking into his deep blue eyes. It was a stunning color. He could take a swim in that, he thought to himself, embarrassed.

“What would you like?” Dean managed, forcing himself to concentrate and not be flustered.

“Just black,” the man smiled nervously. “I don’t know much about all these fancy names.”

Dean controlled his urge to laugh. He personally did believe that the long and ridiculous coffee names sounded better on exotic plants in botanical gardens.

“What name shall I put on the cup?”

“Oh.” The man looked startled to be asked such an obvious question. “Castiel.”

“I’ll be right back with you, sir.” 

Dean decided to get Castiel his favourite brew. Barely anyone asked for it; he just kept it on the pot for himself, to unwind at the end of the day.

“Here you go!” Dean handed him the cup. 

Castiel smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you for not making me go through the hundred options. I’m new here, and this is the first coffee shop I found.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Dean was secretly glad that his shop was at the centre of the town’s main square. 

Castiel waved at him before leaving. 

For the rest of the day Dean found himself humming and smiling for no particular reason.

He looked up expectantly each time the door opened the next day. Each time, when it turned out to be someone other than Castiel, he felt a small pang of disappointment. 

An hour before the closing time, after Dean had given up hopes of ever seeing him again in his life, the bell at the door rang and Castiel stepped in, wet and annoyed at the rain pouring outside.

His face did break into a smile at the sight of Dean, and Dean found himself hoping against hope.

“That had to be the best cup of coffee I’ve ever tasted in my life,” Castiel said, running his hands through his wet hair. “What did you put in it?”

There were a lot of corny things Dean could have said, he settled for just a smile. “If I tell you, you won’t keep coming back here.”

“I don’t think you need to worry about that,” Cas said. “I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

Soon the whole town was buzzing about this real estate developer who had come in to scope the place, with his rough voice and ocean eyes; who wanted to turn the town into something altogether new. What better place to exchange gossip than town’s favourite coffee shop?

For most part, Dean didn’t comment on anyone’s opinion, just provided them with a sympathetic ear. From what he had heard so far, the people weren’t exactly opposed to the development. Just wary. And who could blame them for not wanting to trust a stranger after being a closed community for such a long time.

Personally, Dean didn’t believe that Castiel had any intentions of selling the whole town out. He didn’t look the sort. But what did Dean know? Maybe it wasn’t his brain, just his love-struck heart that was constructing all his opinions.

“Here you go,” Dean handed Castiel his coffee to go on his twenty-sixth day. Yes, Dean remembered the number of days. It was all very pathetic.

Castiel grinned at the name. “This says Cas on it!”

“You don’t like it?” Dean asked, scratching the back of his neck.

“It’s nothing like that,” he said. “I’ve just never had anyone call me that.”

That was weird. What sort of people had he surrounded himself with, who couldn’t catch the obvious nickname?

“You can call me, Cas, though,” he said quickly. “I like it.”

“Alright, then Cas,” Dean said, smirking slowly. “You have a good day.”

Cas waved and headed out the door.

“What was that?”

It was Charlie. One of Dean’s regulars at the shop and his closest friend outside of it.

“Nothing,” he muttered, turning away so she wouldn’t spot the blood rising up to his cheeks. “We were just chatting.”

“That’s not chatting,” she wiggled her eyebrows. “Where I come from, it’s called flirting.”

“I don’t even know if he’s interested,” Dean huffed. No point keeping it from her. She would sniff out the barely concealed crush anyway.

Charlie reached out to ruffle his hair. “And you won’t if you don’t ask.”

Later that night, Dean was cleaning up after the last customer had left, when Cas came in. His hair was dishevelled, as if he had run his fingers through it repeatedly and his shirt was unbuttoned at the top. It quickened Dean’s heartbeat to look at him.

“Are you closed? I’m so sorry for coming in this late.” He looked dejected. “But I didn't know where else to go.”

“C’mon in,” Dean said, sliding a chair towards him. “Is everything okay?”

Cas bit his lip. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he said, agitated. “I don’t think any of my ideas are welcome here. The town folks don’t even want to listen to me. Maybe I should just give up.”

“That’s just plain stupid.”

Cas looked up, eyes startled. 

“Look,” Dean said. “I’ve lived here all my life. Sure the people are stubborn as hell, but they aren’t idiots. They’ll see a good scheme if you keep at it. Are you trying to dupe them?”

The shocked look on Cas’s face was almost comical. “God, no. I would never.”

“Then you just have to convince them that.”

Dean wasn’t sure if he was making any headway with this handsome man. Cas’s eyes were like an open book and they didn’t look very convinced right now.

“This is a small town,” Dean tried. “These guys have all grown up together. They might have a hard time accepting outsiders, but give them time, they’ll come around.”

“You really think so?” The hope in his voice was almost desperate.

“Sure do.”

Cas placed his hand over Dean’s. “Thank you, truly.”

Dean could barely string the words together without fumbling over the contact of their fingers. “Don’t mention it, man.”

He watched over the next few weeks as town folk were slowly intrigued and then interested in Cas’s plan. He wasn’t out to demolish their houses and heritage like they had initially thought he was. In fact, the new town planning scheme would ensure more income and profit for everyone, including a small residential settlement in a property that was otherwise completely wasted.

In about a month's time, Cas had suddenly become everyone’s favourite. Dean was happy for him, of course, but it did put a damper on his plans to ask him out. Afterall, Cas had better company now and he was busier than before. 

“You’re going to be a mooning single man forever if you keep this shit up.” Charlie put her hands up. “I’m just saying.”

Dean sighed. “It’s not the right time.”

“There’s no such thing,” she retaliated, picking up her latte. “And you’re just stalling at this point.”

No, I’m not, Dean wanted to say. He didn’t, though.

“All I’m saying is- if you saw the way he looked at you when you weren’t looking…” Charlie blew him a kiss and left for a table.

Cas was bright eyed today as he stepped forward for his drink and Dean’s heart skipped a beat. “The usual?” he asked.

“Yeah… Dean, wait a second.” Cas made sure that he wasn’t holding up the line. “I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

What?

“You’ve been the only friend I had here. Listening to me and giving me advice.”

“You don’t have to thank me for it.” He really did have the most beautiful eyes.

“It’s not just that.... Dean?”

Dean looked up. “Yeah?”

Cas seemed to hesitate. “It’s nothing…”

Dean poured the brew in the cup and put on the lid. There was a slight tremble to his fingers and a ‘now or never’ feeling in his gut as he clutched the sharpie.

“Thank you!” Cas said, taking the cup, a regretful smile on his face.

Dean followed Cas’s figure with eager eyes, when Cas stopped at the door. He turned slowly on the spot, then stared at Dean with wide eyes.

“Do you really mean this?” He asked, holding out the cup. 

Instead of his name, the side of the cup read, ‘Will you go out with me?’

Dean’s heart was pounding against his ribs. “I do.”

“Yes, yes!” Cas exulted a bit wildly, “I’ve been meaning to ask since day one. I just didn’t know you were interested.”

“It translates into- both of you are really dumb,” Charlie supplied. There was a loud cheer from everyone present and Dean looked around surprised. 

“We’ve been waiting for this for weeks!” Said another regular. When Dean eyed her, she jabbed him in the arm. “Everyone but the two of you knew.”

There was a lot of blushing and a hurried, ‘I’ll see you in the evening’ from Cas, before he left, forgetting his coffee altogether. As for Dean, he had never waited for an evening with so much eagerness.

The next morning, waking up in Cas’s arms, he would know that he had all been worth it.

******************************************

A/N 2: Hope I didn’t suck at this as much as I thought! Please let me know what you think <3

Tagging: @sdavid09​​  @mrswhozeewhatsis​​  @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​​ (cause you’ve been after me for ages for Destiel) literally don’t know who else to tag

[tarontherocketman]

Mr Madden | Madderton Teacher AU | Chapter 4

TW: BRIEF MENTIONS OF SUICIDE

Taron stirred in bed, glancing to the clock for the umpteenth time that night; it was only 4:57am. He had just over 2 long hours until his alarm was supposed to sound, it was still dark, and the birds hadn’t even thought about chirping yet. The entire night had been a series of waking up and drifting off, usually multiple times within the hour. His mind was disturbed by the thought of arriving at school to find out that Ella hadn’t made it, he had visions of her parents coming in to blame the school, leading to Taron being ratted out for not doing enough to help her, her poor parents screaming and crying at him, telling him that they killed their daughter. He made himself dizzy filling his head with these thoughts that deep down he knew just weren’t true, and Richard has done everything he could to assure him of that. The light from his phone and a soft vibration pulled Taron out of his dark thoughts as he rolled over to pull it out of its charging port and squint at the bright screen. 

Rich: you up, T?x

Taron: yep, been up most the night, why are you up??x

Rich: set an alarm for 5 cos I knew you’d be up and I wanted to check up on you x

Taron: what? really? Rich you didn’t have to do that you have work too..x

Rich: course I did I couldn’t bear the thought of you alone in bed feeling shit so I thought instead of another 2 hours of that you’d want to go for breakfast before work? Obviously the only place open is mcdonalds but you can’t go wrong with a maccies breakfast x

Taron: you’re right you can’t go wrong with a maccies breakfast, thanks rich I need this I was preparing for a long couple of hours, was considering going for a walk but this sounds much nicer x

Rich: no worries bub, I’ll come pick you up in 20 mins then we can go straight to work after breakfast x

Rich got himself up and ready for work, a routine that didn’t take long. As long as his face was washed, teeth were cleaned and his hair was tidy he was quite happy to get dressed and go within 15 minutes. He grabbed his keys and jogged down the stairs of his apartment to the resident car park, making the short drive to Taron’s place and sending him a quick text to let him know he was outside. Taron appeared quickly, looking a little less put together than usual. His hair wasn’t quite as neat as he usually bothered to make it, and his eyes were puffy from the severe lack of sleep.

“Jeez you look shit T,” Rich commented.

“Cheers,” Taron sighed.

“No I mean you still look handsome, obviously,” Rich scoffed playfully, “but you literally look like you haven’t slept for a minute.”

“You’re not too far off the mark there,” Taron replied as he pulled the seatbelt over him. “Seriously though thanks for doing this Rich it means a lot, you really didn’t have to wake up so early for me.”

“Don’t worry about it I knew full well you’d be up most of the night worrying, I know what you’re like by now, I’d rather that you get out of the house and have some breakfast and coffee rather than tossing and turning for another 2 hours and coming to work without eating anything,” Rich said softly as he put the car into 5th gear along a long, empty main road. 

“Thank you,” Taron replied, at a loss for what else to say to his incredibly thoughtful friend who knew him even better than Taron thought he did. 

The pair rode out the rest of the journey in silence, neither knowing exactly what to say at a time like this. Rich pulled into the car park of the 24 hour McDonalds and made his way inside with Taron following miserably behind. Rich noticed him trailing behind and stopped at the door to wait, putting an arm round him when he caught up as they walked into the building. Once the two had ordered, received their food and sat down at a booth table in the window, Taron held his egg muffin limply, taking tiny bites. Rich, having already finished the tiny thing in what felt like less than 5 bites, sat with his hands wrapped around his coffee for warmth.

“Look T, I know this sounds obvious but please stop blaming yourself for this, no one is mad at you,” Rich soothed, taking one hand away from his coffee to place it on Taron’s arm.

“But what if she dies, Rich? How am I supposed to deal with a student dying at my hands?”

“T, if she did die it wouldn’t be at your hands! Not one bit! You did what you could. And anyway there’s no point worrying about death now, if you worry about something that hasn’t happened you’re potentially putting yourself through it twice, ok?”

“That’s actually not bad advice,” Taron said, perking up ever so slightly.

“Yeah I got it off one of those facebook posts with inspirational quotes,” Rich admitted, laughing quietly at himself.

“Oh christ,” Taron chuckled softly, “well thank you anyway, I don’t know why it’s got me this down, I know it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid at all you’re a worrier, you worry for the world Taron, and it’s a heart warming trait but you’re gonna worry yourself sick,” Rich spoke in almost a whisper, rubbing Taron’s arm comfortingly.

“I know, I know,” Taron took a long sigh and finally finished his breakfast. Rich’s words did actually make quite a big difference, he didn’t need to be so miserable about something that he shouldn’t even blame himself for in the first place. “Thank you again for this I do feel better.”

“Anytime,” Rich smiled. Taron and Rich sat for the rest of the wait before work, sipping their second coffee and chatting mindlessly to keep Taron’s mind off things. As the time passed quickly, the morning drew closer to them having to go to work. The sun rose at last, and they knew they’d have to go sooner or later.

“You ready?” Rich asked, offering his hand to Taron, who reluctantly took it, deciding that there wasn’t really anyone around at this time of the morning who would see them and so they walked hand in hand to the car.

“I might not even hear anything about it today, no point getting worked up,” Taron assured himself out loud, staring out of the window at the sunrise lined buildings of the city that zooming past the window as they travelled.

“Exactly,” Rich agreed, putting his left hand on Taron’s knee in between changing gear. They arrived at work, deciding that a third coffee probably wasn’t a smart idea, but a visit to the staff room before they started might be worthwhile, in case there did happen to be any news on Ella.

“Morning,” they both said politely to the other staff gathered around the room, all looking a little bit like they didn’t want to be there for another day in the mad house that they called a school. Taron bit his lip, not sure whether to ask the question. The Headteacher, who was leaning against the kitchen counter waiting for the coffee in the coffee pot to brew, seemed to have read his mind.

“Ella’s parents got in contact, she’s fine,” he smiled, almost as relieved as Taron.

“Really?” Taron beamed happily, relief washing over him like a tidal wave, his whole body relaxing as if he’d been tensing for a week straight.

“Yes she’s stable, already recovering, and will be back in school next Monday if she’s ready so she’s got a little while to get better,” he informed, now turning around to pour coffee.

“Thank god,” Taron breathed heavily, taking a seat on one of the old tatty sofas and slumping forward in relief, rubbing his temples. Rich looked at him, longing for a cuddle, but knowing he couldn’t so just settled on patting him on the shoulder casually, avoiding the curious gaze of Mrs Reynolds who was clearly trying desperately to sniff out some gossip again.

“Coffee?” the Head asked in Taron and Rich’s direction, who both declined rather quickly.

“Suit yourself,” he smiled. Mrs Reynolds was now looking quizzically in their direction.

“Already coffee-d out?” she questioned, an eyebrow raised suspiciously. 

“Yep, uh, we do both have coffee at home, so,” Rich trailed off uncomfortably.

“No of course, I just don’t tend to get up early to use up the coffee in my house when it’s free here.” Taron was now looking up at her, his eyes narrowed slightly as if to say ‘keep your nose out of our business’ “Anyway,” she quipped, putting her mug in the sink and turning on her heel “I must be off to class.” At that she scurried out of the staff room making brief eye contact with the rest of the staff before she left, leaving them to sit in tense silence as they all attempted to sip their coffee nonchalantly, as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Taron and Rich took this as their cue to leave and head to Rich’s class, walking quickly down the hallway.

“Oh my god do you think they’re all onto us?” Taron whispered, leaning into Rich as they walked.

“I don’t know, but like you said the other day, there’s no proof, they have nothing on us!” Rich loud whispered back.

“You’re right, we just have to be extra careful,” Taron nodded as they arrived at Rich’s classroom and scuttled inside.

“Yeah we will,” Rich assured.

“Extra careful,” Taron smirked, leaning flirtatiously against the door to the supply closet.

“Taron..” Rich warned, knowing exactly what he was suggesting.

“Do people usually come snooping in your supply closet at 7:30am on a Tuesday?” Taron joked.

“Well no, but they do walk past the classroom and snoop through the big obvious window in the door, what if we get seen going in or out?”

“We won’t! We’ll make sure,” Taron reassured the Scotsman, who stood shifting on the spot nervously, his hands fiddling with each other. 

“Your mood has certainly improved in the past 10 minutes,” Rich observed.

“Of course,” Taron started, “I spent all night worried sick and now I know she’s ok I feel like a massive weight’s been lifted and I have some emotional catching up to do.”

“Right, that’s your logic?” Rich laughed, “in fact, you’ve changed your whole tune about doing things like this since I met you.”

“I know, like I said, everything changed when I met you! Now are you joining me or do I have to please myself?” Taron wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Argh, T!”

“I’m joking, I’m joking!” Taron assured quickly, laughing at Rich being a typical serious History teacher. “You coming in?” Rich shuffled on the spot some more, glancing back and forth at the door suspiciously.

“Hmm, ok, but we really shouldn’t be doing this though,” Rich muttered, following Taron into the cupboard.

“No we should not,” Taron agreed with cheeky smile, pulling Rich in and locking their lips firmly, hands running up and down each other’s backs lovingly.

“No really we can’t make a habit of this,” Rich said, pulling away for a moment in between breaths. Taron shushed him, pulling him straight back in, gently grabbing his thick, lovely hair from behind. The lovebirds carried on having their moment until they accepted that they’ll have to stop eventually and get ready for class. Taron cracked the door open slightly to look at the door to the classroom, making sure the coast was clear before grabbing Rich’s hand and pulling him out of the now fully open door.

“Hey look we literally came out of the closet,” Rich snorted, Taron nudged him playfully, laughing along. “Seriously though we can’t get too comfortable doing that.”

“I know, it’ll be fine!” Taron assured, following Rich to his desk to take a seat next to him. The two of them sat in silence while Rich turned his computer on and watched it boot up, the logo appearing across the screen in big letters. Rich looked down at his lap, and then back up at Taron, the secret kiss they just had now playing on his mind.

“T, what are we?” Rich asked, now ignoring his computer entirely to look into Taron’s pretty eyes. Taron sat thoughtfully.

“I don’t know, Rich,” he admitted, avoiding Rich’s gaze.

“Are we a thing or is this all just for fun?” said Rich, biting his lip in thought.

“Why don’t we talk about this later, you need to get ready for class,” Taron smiled, glancing at his watch. 

“Yeah, you’re right, come round mine tonight?” Rich offered.

“Pizza and beer?” Taron said hopefully.

“Course,” Rich agreed, turning to his computer that had now turned on, asking for his password. 

“I better get ready for class too, I’ll talk to you later,” Taron said, getting up from his chair and planting a small kiss on the top of Rich’s head. There was a somewhat solemn feeling between the two all of a sudden, they hadn’t delved into the relationship conversation yet. In fact, neither of them knew if they were ready for a relationship, it had all been fun and games up until now, but they had to decide if settling down was something that they both wanted to do now.

The day passed, slowly. Taron and Rich’s thoughts consumed by the reality of the conversation that they would be having that evening. At least there were some distractions through the day, working in a city secondary school always came with its daily challenges. Taron broke up two fights in one lunch break, had to mediate an argument between four girls in his afternoon class that had suddenly turned 2 vs 2 during a script reading exercise when he stupidly split the class into groups of 4 and not only let them choose their groups, but let them choose between them who gets to be which character, as if that could have ever ended well.

Rich had a student storm out of his class angrily after having to tell him more than five times to get off his phone, the students argument being ‘it’s my personal property fuck off’, and he had a 10 minute job of calming down an over-hyper class of year 7s that had just had a P.E class and were now on the last lesson of the day, which was just a recipe for disaster. Rich knew that being a secondary school teacher would come with challenges, based off his own experience as a student many years ago, but he swore teenagers had become 100x times crazier since then, but maybe that was just him remembering it from the point of view of a student, never really knowing at the time what teachers actually had to go through every day.

Once the day finally drew to an end, Rich and Taron met up to go straight to Rich’s seeing as they had both come in his car that morning.

“You sure you don’t need to pop home first? I don’t mind,” Rich offered.

“No it’s all good, these clothes are comfortable enough and we’ve got the same phone if I need a charger,” Taron replied.

“True.”

After a short journey home, Rich and Taron climbed the stairs to Rich’s apartment, he unlocked the door and let Taron in first, following straight after him. Taron stopped to look around the place, observing the colour schemes and decor themes going on. 

“Nice place,” he commented, nodding in approval at the well decorated room.

“Thanks!” Rich said happily as he threw his bag on the dining table and slung his jacket over one of the chairs, Taron did the same and joined Rich on the couch, both sinking down into it after a long day. Taron even more exhausted from his extreme lack of sleep the previous night, knowing full well everyone he had talked to today had just politely ignored the bags under his eyes. 

“So do you want a beer now, or?” Rich offered.

“I can wait, we should talk,” Taron said slowly, Rich nodded nervously, breathing heavy enough for Taron to hear it clearly now. 

“So.”

“So..”

“Ok, look, T, I’m just gonna say it- I really love you, and I think I’ve fallen fast, and if you don’t feel the same and are just in it for the fun I understand but,” Rich babbled, Taron trying so hard not to giggle at not only his rambling but the fact that he swore the Scottish accent was getting thicker as the sentence progressed.

“Oh shut up,” Taron chuckled, shushing him fully with a kiss. “Mr Madden, will you be my boyfriend?”

“Um, obviously!” Rich breathed, laughing from relief and leaning back in for another sofa make out session, one that meant even more to the two of them than the last time it happened, now that this had developed into a real relationship. One that neither of them were expecting considering they both had intentions to lay low in their jobs, but they couldn’t help it. They wanted each other so badly and would freely admit at this stage that that had been the case for quite some time now. 

“So you wanna order food?” Rich asked as the pair pulled away from each other.

“Hm, not yet,” Taron replied.

“You not hungry?” Rich asked in genuine surprise, feeling his own stomach rumble from a long day at work with not enough food, knowing Taron had eaten even less. 

“I’m hungry, but not for pizza..where’s your bedroom?” Taron smirked. Rich scoffed in surprise at the extremely forward question. 

“I- wow, that is very bold of you, Mr Egerton!” Rich said, taken back but not actual displeased by the question.

“Well, you’re my boyfriend now,” Taron smiled flirtatiously.

“Good point, right this way,” Rich grabbed Taron’s hand and let him into the door that was only a few metres away from the sofa, pulling him into the room and gently shoving him onto his king size bed, pulling his shirt off in excitement and kicking the door shut behind him, knowing that he hadn’t felt this content in such a long time.

___________________________________________________________

So. You may have just figured out, but I don’t write smut! Sorry! Love reading it but terrible at writing it, so you’ll just have to leave it up to your imagination if you so wish! Anyway sorry this isn’t quite as long as the previous chapter, I just went off on that last one, this is more the length that I’m keeping them. Although I’m slightly worried this chapter is a bit boring, but I hope you all like it regardless tho!

Tag list: @taron-eggmcmuffin @coffeetalkbaby @nataschalenasblog @stateofloveandvedder @winterismyfavoriteseason1945 

[petitprincess1]

Good Evening Ch11 (Fearful)

AO3 Link Summary: A week has went by and Alastor had been disappearing more and more. Charlie and Vaggie discuss their worries with one another. Words: 1,445 Warning: Implied cannibalism So sorry for the wait, I just had a lot going on last week, but I’m fine. Hope you all enjoy! I’m also working on another story based on yet another chat post. Be on the lookout for that ;3 ~~~ A week has passed since the unknowing death that Alastor caused, excluding the one dealing with the man that had a family, named Benji- with a name like that, Al did him a favor. Apparently, his wife had given a missing person’s report, which Alastor broadcasted, and had offered a reward. Well, unless she knew anyone that can clean out a furnace, Benji probably wasn’t going to be found anytime soon. The thought of the wife being in constant in distress made Al’s smile much more relaxed.

Charlie had gotten an earful from Lilith about her leaving the house, despite she knew that she wanted to talk to her. The girl had to make up a reason for being out so late. So, she admitted to being in the forest late at night and with Angel and Vaggie, but made up that they had to console Angel from an…incident with Valentino before the mob boss died. Charlie, of course, left out the detail of Alastor meeting him there…and him helping them hide Val’s body…and many, many other things. It seemed to have satisfied Lilith. In fact, she was so satisfied that she told servants to follow Charlie around the house, Charlie had to tell her where she was going whenever she left, and that her father had to visit the hotel every once in a while without warning. gReAt!

Plus, whenever Charlie was alone at home or at the hotel, Alastor would gravitate toward her. Sometimes it would be welcomed because she needed some advice for dealing with certain clients or even just needed her father to be distracted. Although, he would also get too close, like with wanting to mess with her hair or squishing her cheeks or just generally touching her. It never got too intimate, even though he had gently rubbed her lips with his thumb, but it still was a bit much for Charlie. She assumed that he did that because he was missing Angelo, so she didn’t have the heart to tell him to tell him to go away. …Vaggie definitely did.

“Would you fuck off, Al!? Go do something important that doesn’t involve groping!” The silver haired girl yelled at Al, glaring at him and putting Charlie behind her. Alastor stared down at the girl with a slightly tense smile and held his hands behind his back. Charlie had worried that he was going to snap or harm Vaggie, but he just chuckled at the girl. The creole booped the dark-skinned girl’s nose and grinned, “Goodness, Vagatha, no need to be so antagonistic! I was just merely showing my affection towards the little belle, but I can see when I am not wanted. I shall go help Niffty in the kitchen.”

Vaggie muttered loud enough for Alastor to hear, “There better not be any eyeballs this time, bastardo tonto…” The man stopped for a second and then started to walk into the kitchen.

Charlie moved out from behind Vaggie and rubbed her arm as she stared at the kitchen doors. She was about to speak, but Vaggie ended up dragging her out to the garden and sighed, “I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to try to defend him, but Alastor is the last person that you should even bother making excuses for. He bothers you and-”

“I know all that, Vaggie, but I also don’t think it’s a good idea to bother him much either. He’s…been disappearing a lot more lately. I’m just worried about doing anything to make him upset,” Charlie admitted, while she hugged herself as she sat on one of the benches. Vaggie watched her expression shift into sadness and fear in a few seconds, causing the latina to feel apologetic for treating her like that. She plopped next to the pale-skinned girl, lightly stroked her golden hair, and sighed, “I’m really sorry, cariña. I don’t mean to pressure you into doing anything. I really just want to make sure that you’re safe. I don’t know what I would do if you…”

Vaggie trailed off as Charlie turned to hug her and the latina held onto her tightly, nuzzling her face against her love’s shoulder. She really didn’t want to manipulate the situation or make it seem like she was trying to be rude or anything, but…it made her heart stop at seeing Al near Charlie so often. It almost made her want to kick the man out, fire him, or even turn him into the police. Granted, Vaggie knew that wouldn’t do shit, but it definitely would be temporary satisfaction.

Charlie pulled away and stroked Vaggie’s silver hair, hoping to calm her down. She reassured, “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything bad happen to me, us, and anyone else in this hotel. I promi-”

She got cut off by a random gust of wind that caused the girl’s to shield themselves and caused the plants to get blown harshly, whipping the trees’ branches all over the place. The two looked around to find where the source was and their jaws dropped at seeing a helicopter hovering over the garden. 

A ladder dropped from the helicopter all the way down to the ground in front of the two. Not too surprisingly, Lucifer peeked out from the helicopter and called out, using a megaphone, “Oh, hi, Charlie and Vagatha!”

Vaggie mumbled her actual name under her breath, while Charlie questioned, “Dad! What are you doing!?”

Lucifer grinned as he joked, “I’m being a helicopter parent!”

The two girls just blinked up at him, while the man stared back at them. He tried again, still smiling widely at his joke, “I’m being a helicopter parent! …Do you get it? I’m-”

Vaggie huffed, “Yeah, we got it!”

Lucifer slid down the helicopter ladder and then gave it a tug when he landed on the ground. The ladder went back up as the helicopter began to fly away. Luci turned to the two girls and saw that their hair were an absolute mess. He chuckled as he winced, “Oof. You two are in a desperate need of a brush.”

Charlie groaned in annoyance as she used her hands to push down her hair, “Dad! I know that you’re supposed to be checking in, but you don’t have to be obnoxious about it.”

“Yes, I do. It’s the law that dads have to make their children regret their existence in order to reach fulfillment. Can’t break the law, sweetie. Now, what are you two gals up to?” Lucifer asked, raising an eyebrow. His daughter sighed, rolling her eyes, and replied, “Well, we were talking.”

The mayor then sat in-between the two and chuckled, “Oh, good! I would like to join. Love a good gossip.”

“Dad!” The two then immediately started arguing with each other, making Vaggie sigh as she got up to let them have at it. She could already practically hear Lucifer blaming her for Charlie’s attitude and she didn’t want to hear that…again. 

The silver-haired girl walked into the hotel and then immediately got grabbed. She quickly elbowed the person in the gut and yelled, “Al, you fucking- ….Husk, what are you- Ah!”

Vaggie yelped at Husk tossing a phone at her. She stared at the device and saw a wallpaper on the phone of Angelo and his pet pig, causing her to get instantly suspicious. She asked, “Why do you have this phone? Charlie was the last person to have that.”

Husk groaned at the hit she gave him and huffed, “I clearly used magic to make it appear in my hands- how do you think it got in my hands, dumbass!? I caught Alastor with it last week! Don’t know why anyone would allow Charlie to have it, since Al is always stuck with her.”

She raised an eyebrow and questioned further, “So…why give it to me?”

He answered, looking away from her, “As long as it ain’t with Alastor, I’m fine. I’m also sick of the constant buzzing from messages some bitch named Cherri and someone Angelo named weirdly keeps sending. I’m getting back to wo-”

“Wait!” Vaggie explained as she clutched the phone in her hand and let out a heavy sigh, “Tell me what all you know about Al. I know that keeping him in the hotel will make things worse and I wanna get back at him. At the very least, get him to leave Eden. Please, Husk.”

The greying man looked at the wooden floor and glanced back up at her pleading eyes. He grumbled, “Fine, I’ll tell ya. I better get some booze for this shit.”

[petersasteria]

The Four Men In My Life AU - 8

DISCLAIMER:  *This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.*

Pairing: Tom x Reader, Harry x Reader, Sam x Reader, Haz x Reader

Summary: Y/N has a shit love life. Mainly because of the four men in her life.

masterlist | series masterlist

* * * *

"So, how're you settling in your apartment?"  Y/N's mother asks her, trying to get a peek of her daughter's dorm through the screen of Y/N's phone.

"I'm settling just fine here, mum. It's not fully decorated yet and I haven't finished unpacking. I'll send you pictures when I'm done with everything." Y/N smiles at her mum. She got a scholarship at a university miles away from home and it's her first year.

"Okay, well I have to go. Stay safe there. I love you and good luck!" Y/M/N smiles. Y/N smiles back and thanks her and tells her mum that she loves her and misses her. She hangs up and looks around with a sigh. "Alright Y/N. Let's get to work!" Y/N tells herself.

After hours of unpacking and tidying up, Y/N decided that she should probably get something to eat. It's already 3 o'clock in the afternoon after all and she totally missed lunch. She grabs her coat, phone, wallet, and keys before heading out.

Her apartment is just outside the campus. She didn't want to stay in a dorm and she wanted a place for herself for the first time. It wasn't ideal to be sharing it with anyone. Her apartment was just the right size. It was a studio apartment and it was a fresh start.

After her high school graduation, she didn't want her past to haunt her anymore so, upon receiving a scholarship at a prestigious university away from home (and away from her dream university), she decided that it'd be nice to have a new environment. She decided then and there that it'd be a fresh start.

She spoke too soon, though.

She entered a small diner and she couldn't believe her eyes. It was Harrison Osterfield sitting in one of the booths.

She never really spoke to him except for that time when he totally destroyed her in front Tom. But now he was here, in the flesh.

He must've noticed someone staring at him so he looked up from the menu only to see Y/N not that far from him. He gives her a small smile before looking back at the menu.

Y/N pinched herself to check if she was dreaming, but she wasn't. Finally deciding to move from where she's standing, she approaches Harrison. "Harrison."

Harrison looks up from the menu and sees Y/N standing in front of him. "Y/N." he nods. "Would you like to take a seat?"

She didn't expect politeness from Harrison after he said all that shit to her face from years ago. Then again, they were in high school back then. They're in university now which means they're both adults now.

"Earth to Y/N." Harrison chuckles. "Do you want to sit?"

Y/N snaps out of it and nods before taking a seat in front of him. Harrison hands her the menu which Y/N gratefully takes. When both of them were ready to order, Harrison calls the waitress and tells her their orders.

"Your order will be ready fifteen to twenty minutes. Have a good day!" the waitress says before leaving.

The two awkwardly sit in silence and Y/N decides to break it. "So, uh, what're you here for? Like, what's your course?"

"Oh, um, medicine. I want to be a pediatrician." Harrison replies. "And you?"

"Theater. Broadway is the goal." Y/N smiles causing Harrison to smile too.

"That's amazing." Harrison says. "I didn't want to admit it back then, but you really did have an amazing voice. It doesn't surprise me that you want to pursue a career in Broadway."

"Thank you." Y/N smiles. "So, are we expecting three more boys?"

Harrison shakes his head, "It's just me who's attending university here. I'm staying in an apartment outside the campus."

"Same here."

Soon, their orders came as they catch up with each other.

-

It's been months since they caught up with each other and they've grown close with each other. They realized that what happened in the past didn't matter anymore. They were adults. They're good friends now. However, Y/N is slowly falling Harrison.

No one could blame her. Harrison was a catch. But she was still hurting from what happened with Sam and she didn't want to be hurt again.

"You're making a mistake again, Y/N/N." Y/F/N sighs through the phone. Y/N called her friend for advice after telling Y/F/N that she's starting to fall for Harrison.

"But maybe he's not like them." Y/N suggests.

"Don't be naive. If he's friends with those people, then he can do the same thing to you." Y/F/N explains. "Save yourself."

"But maybe he's different." Y/N says in a soft voice. "We're in college now. Maybe he changed. Besides, he didn't do anything wrong to me before."

"Um, sis aren't you forgetting what happened with Tom??" Y/F/N shrieks.

"Yeah, but that's it. Nothing else followed after that." Y/N tells her. It was a fact, though. Harrison never really bothered her. "He might be the one." Y/N adds.

"Okay, I'll cut you off right there, bitch." Y/F/N hisses. "The right person will come at the right time and I guarantee you that it isn't any of those four boys. So do yourself a favor and stop seeing Harrison. Like, with all the dignity you have left, cut ties with that group. Please."

Silence.

"I have to go and study now. I have finals tomorrow. I'll see you this weekend, okay?" Y/F/N says.

Y/N smiles, "Of course! Good luck! Bye." She hangs up the phone and sighs. She's starting to really like Harrison and something inside her brain is thinking that he might like her back. But something else tells her to not tell Harrison about her growing feelings for him.

-

So Harrison did like her back when she finally had the guts to tell him how she felt.

Not in the way she likes him, but he likes her as a friend. He didn't have the heart to reject such a sweet girl, so he figured he'd give her a chance. He asked her to be his girlfriend after three dates and she was so happy. They've been dating for nearly three years now and Harrison felt so fake, but he didn't want to lose the friendship he had with Y/N if he rejected her years ago. They were really getting along. Like, genuinely.

"You're fucked, mate." Sam laughs. His laugh echoing through Harrison's apartment. Harrison is currently on video call with Sam, Harry, and Tom.

"She's really really nice. I know it's too late, but I can now see why Tom liked her... in the beginning of their relationship at least." Harrison admits.

"Oh you mean the first few weeks of them being together, got it." Harry chuckles. "So, what'll you do?"

"I'll just tell her, I guess. Oh god, I don't even know." Harrison groans.

"You don't want to lose her, do you?" Tom asks his best mate, only starting to speak now. Sam claps, "Finally! I thought you lost your voice, Tom." Tom glares at his brother through the screen before turning his attention back to Harrison, "So answer me, Haz."

"No, I don't want to lose her. I'd really like to be friends with her." Harrison sighs.

"You'll lose her either way, mate. You'll lose her if you tell her. But if you keep it to yourself, she'll find out at some point and you'll lose her. You can't win here, mate. It's unfair enough that your love for her as a boyfriend isn't real, but letting that drag on for nearly three fucking years? That's messed up." Tom says.

"Well, thanks for coming to Tom's TED Talk." Harry pipes up.

"Shut up, Harry." a voice says. Sam and Harry didn't know who it was, but Tom and Harrison knew. Tom takes a deep breath and stares at his hands, "Hey Y/N. It's Tom."

Y/N stayed where you were standing as you and Harrison just stare at each other. "Hi Thomas."

"Oh, uh, I just remembered that I have to go to my part time job now. I have to go. Bye guys!" Sam quickly says before leaving the call and disconnecting.

"I have to, uh, study for my quiz tomorrow for my major subject. Bye!" Harry says frantically, disconnecting the call.

It's just Tom and Harrison now.

"Haz, mate, just tell her." Tom says in a hushed voice. "It's time." Harrison broke eye contact with Y/N to look at Tom. Harrison sighs and nods.

"Okay, I'll go now. Call me later. I have nothing to do anyway." Tom tells him. "Oh and Y/N, we should catch up sometime. I miss you; really, I do."

Harrison would be lying if he said he wasn't slightly jealous of Tom for having a good relationship with Y/N even after their break up that he caused.

"Sure. I still have the same number. Feel free to call me anytime." Y/N says, her gaze not leaving Harrison.

"Okay, that's great!" Tom smiles to himself. He looks at Harrison one more time before saying goodbye and disconnecting. Harrison turned off his laptop and prepared himself to look at Y/N.

"How- How long were you standing there?" Harrison asks. "I didn't hear you come in." he chuckles lightly.

"I've been here since Tom's, as what Harry said, TED Talk." Y/N said, crossing her arms. "I was going to clap, but I wanted my presence to be a surprise. Happy to say that I got the reaction I wanted."

Harrison sighs, "I'm really sorry."

"When were you planning on telling me? Or did you plan on telling me at all?" Y/N asks, anger in her voice.

"Of course I planned on telling you!"

"Then when did you plan on telling me, huh?!" tears were now streaming freely down Y/N's cheeks. "When we're engaged? When we're married? When he have kids? When?"

Harrison's guilt rises when he realizes that Y/N wanted him to be with her in the future. But it's obvious that Harrison didn't want the same thing.

"I would've accepted a rejection. It's better than this situation right now." she cries. She turns to leave but stops in her tracks. She looked at him one last time and says, "You know what sucks? I really thought I'd have this bright future with you. You're just like the three of them."

Then she left.

Harrison Osterfield was the man who dated Y/N Y/L/N because he felt pity on her having to like him even though he didn't feel the same.

* * * * 

-not proofread-

Taglist: @fanficparker @myblueleatherbag @sweetdespairbarnes @tommysparker @lcvelyparkers

[detroitwhatitmeanstobehuman]

Chapter 6 - Shared Loss

Part 6/17 of What it Means to be Human

Word Count: 13,649

Warnings: Swearing, alcoholism, Russian Roulette, suicidal ideation, very suggestive banter (they’re in a sex club in this chapter, kind of expected), hardcore flirting, trauma-induced panic attack.

Genre: Self-insert/Angst

Pairing: OC (Detective Rachel) X Connor

Rating: Mature

Summary: After getting a report of a homicide at an android sex club downtown, Connor and Detective Rachel go out to look for Lieutenant Anderson so they can all investigate. After finding Hank, they depart to investigate the Eden Club and find more than what it initially appears on the surface. But the environment is ripe with opportunities for jokes and teasing, and Rachel takes full opportunity of it, not realizing that Connor can dish it back quite effectively.

First Chapter | Previous Chapter

---------------------------------

It was actually a pretty fun car ride! My anxiety didn’t even once cross my mind, since I was both texting Bianca and talking to Connor, also about Bianca. I made it a habit to text my sister every day, just so she’d know how I’m doing. Especially since I was living pretty much on my own, now.

She had moved back to Canada after we both lived in Detroit. She had pretty much only lived there because of me so she could help me. It was also the reason she worked at CyberLife before she eventually went back home.

She seemed pretty scared and worried when she heard that I was gunning to be in the police academy here. We both knew it was a tough job, but she also knew it was something I had to do. It gave me a sense of purpose, of making a difference, and I think she knew that I needed to keep myself busy that way.

So, she went back home. And I promised I would text her just so she’d know how I am. As much as sometimes I didn’t feel like it, I always did anyways. I think it helped me avoid some of the worst days. My depression after the accident was really really bad. I couldn’t blame her for being so worried. After all, we were kind of the only really close family we still had, save for cousins. 

We’d always been really close, and we only became closer as we grew up.

And Connor was listening intently to me talk about her. Something I noticed about him ever since leaving my house was that he seemed to focus intensely on me whenever I spoke. As if he was trying to hang onto and record my every word. Even when I wasn’t really saying anything in particular, he still seemed to commit it all to memory.

I didn’t really know what to think of the gesture.

We looked for Hank at Jimmy’s Bar, but Jimmy said that he hadn’t seen Hank.

So, here we were at Hank’s house. Connor was standing next to me and started knocking on the door. “Lieutenant Anderson?” The android called. He then held the doorbell, the loud buzzer continuing on as Connor held it. Still no answer. “Anybody home?”

We waited for a few moments before I just shrugged. “Welp, he’s probably drunk.” I said, bending down. “Luckily for us, I know for a fact that Hank -” I then noticed Connor’s absence and looked around, not really seeing him. “Connor?” I called, confused. I sort of shrugged, flipping the doormat up and grabbing the house key, putting it into the keyhole and turning it, his lock giving way without much resistance. I had been at Hank’s enough times to know my way in and know that he wouldn’t really be surprised at my intrusion. 

After stepping inside, I was immediately greeted by Hank’s adorable St. Bernard dog. “Hi, Sumo!” I greeted the dog sniffing at me, his tail wagging happily as I bent down to slip the key back under the doormat outside. Hank’s dog was as familiar with me as I was with Hank, as I sometimes dogsat for him. Once I closed and locked the door again, I started petting the dog. “I know, I’m happy to see you too, my sweet baby boy!” I said in that tone of voice I usually spoke to animals with. It was pretty damn near impossible not to baby talk at animals.

Suddenly, interrupting my moment with Sumo, I heard the sound of glass breaking, and snapped my head in its direction, Sumo and I rushing toward it. “Argh!” I saw Connor rolling through Hank’s window into the kitchen/dining room area, my eyes wide in disbelief. Sumo quickly went into attack mode, or at least as much as the sweet pooch could really be in, and went up to check Connor out. “Easy!...Sumo...I'm your friend, see?...I know your name...” Connor assured the dog. As much as I found it adorable how Connor reacted to the St. Bernard, I was more appalled at the fact that he jumped through the fucking window! “I'm here to save your owner.”

“What the Hell, Connor!?” I whisper-yelled at the idiot android.

“I’m sorry.” He said, getting up. “I had to get into the house.”

“Hank keeps a spare key under his doormat!” I informed him, gesturing exaggeratedly towards the front door. “Something I was about to tell you if you had just waited for like five seconds before deciding to break in! Because like Hell I’m having a homemade hysterectomy at his house!”

Connor looked a little embarrassed for a moment. “Oh.” Was all he seemed to say.

As Sumo walked back up to me, sniffing at my legs, I let out an exasperated sigh that was quickly undercut by an amused snicker. “We’ll deal with that later. First we gotta find Hank.” I then looked around. “Speaking of which, where - ?” My eyes then found Hank’s form unconscious on the floor.

And next to him was a revolver, laid on the ground carelessly.

I felt my heart stop and my blood go cold at the sight, and instantly my instincts kicked in as I rushed towards him, kneeling over him, Connor joining me by the man’s side. “Hank!” Oh God, please no! Please don’t be fucking dead! “Hank! Can you hear me?! Please say something!” I pleaded, shaking him, feeling my breaths growing rapid and shallow.

Connor was staying silent, likely analyzing the lieutenant for any signs of danger or injury. “Lieutenant?” He asked, quietly. His seemingly nonchalant attitude put me somewhat at ease, but I couldn’t tell if he was always like that, or if he could portray panic or sadness. Either way, his lack of reaction made me feel better.

Quickly, Hank mumbled and shifted a little, sort of babbling. I let out a sigh of relief and slumped against him. “Oh, thank God...you’re just drunk.” I then quickly recoiled at the overwhelming unpleasant stench of alcohol, almost stumbling backward. “Really drunk! Ugh, Jesus Christ! That is definitely one of the reasons I don’t drink. The other being that I have a debilitating fear of losing control of myself and my body and thus I have an intense discomfort at the thought of being inebriated.”

Connor then reached over and firmly patted Hank’s face, causing him to grumble and shift even more. “Wake up, Lieutenant!” He willed once again.

Sighing and feeling my heart rate go back to normal, I got back up and leaned against the table, trying to catch my breath, looking over at Connor. “He’s probably gonna need more than that.” I advised the android. “It takes a lot to get him going when he gets that drunk.”

Seemingly taking my advice, Connor nods. Although, much to my shock, he winds up and delivers a hard slap that makes me almost choke in surprise. “It’s me, Connor!”

I couldn’t help but laugh, both because Connor just deadass slapped the shit out of old man Hank, and because I wasn’t expecting him to just slap him like that. “Holy shit, I didn’t mean that much!”

But it seemed to work, as Hank was starting to actually stir, grumbling and groaning even more in his drunken state. Connor wasted no time pulling Hank up to his feet, much to the man’s drunken protests. “I'm going to sober you up for your own safety.”

“Hey!...Leave me alone, you fuckin' android!”

“I have to warn you, this may be unpleasant.”

Hank seemed to regard Connor for a moment before he started complaining again. “Get the fuck outta my house!”

I let out an exasperated sigh and just started pointing at him. “Hank, I know you’re in your fifties, but I will mom the shit out of you, so help me!” I warned him. “Connor’s gonna sober you up, and you’re gonna fucking like it, God damn it!”

“I'm sorry Lieutenant, but I need you.” Connor apologized, pulling Hank’s right arm over his shoulders and snaking his own left around Hank’s side under his other arm. “Thank you in advance for your cooperation.”

“Hey! Get the fuck outta here!” Hank droned on as Connor started dragging him towards the bathroom, Hank continuing to make a series of loud grumbles and noises that I honestly couldn’t help but find hilarious, despite the unfortunate nature of Hank’s alcoholism. “Sumo! Attack!” He ordered, getting nothing out of the dog but a quick bark. “Good dog. Attack!”

As Connor rounded the corner, taking Hank to the bathroom, I shook my head and sighed, heading over to where Sumo was laying down. As soon as I approached, the dog heaved himself back up onto his legs. I quickly sat down next to him, my legs crossed, and let him lay down on me, his large head resting in my lap. “I know, baby.” I said to him, scratching him behind his ears the way he liked it. “Daddy’s got problems, I know. I don’t like it, either.”

From the direction of the hallway leading into the bathroom, I heard Hank’s voice again. “Fuck, I think I'm gonna be sick...” The sound of a door hastily being opened immediately followed, along with another protest from Hank. “Ah! Leave me alone, you asshole!” 

I couldn’t hear the rest of it, but I just rolled my eyes and shook my head, electing to just continue petting Sumo. He was a very good dog, and I think he’s one of the few things that keeps Hank still going. But it was very easy to see that he tended to get nervous, and it was mostly because Hank didn’t really take good care of himself. Dogs, and mammalian pets in general, were pretty good about sensing shit like that. And it does affect them. And anytime I would try to get Hank to start taking better care of himself, he’d just tell me to go fuck myself. I never took it personally, but just once I wished he would actually take my suggestions seriously.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of a shower being turned on, and Hank shouting at the top of his lungs. “TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!” Even after the sound of the water had just as quickly ceased, I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“A homicide was reported 43 minutes ago.” Connor informed Hank. “We couldn't find you at Jimmy's bar, so we came to see if you were at home.”

I practically facepalmed at Connor’s complete tactlessness. “DUDE!” I shouted at him from the other room. “THE MAN HAS JUST BEEN LYING ON THE FLOOR PISS DRUNK! YOU DON’T JUST OPEN WITH THAT! MAKE SURE THE POOR MAN’S OKAY, FIRST!” I lectured him, still shouting and shaking my head. “Jesus!”

“I’m sorry!” Connor replied back to me. “I’ll keep that in mind for the next time!” It sort of amazed me how he could maintain the same sort of polite and professional tone of voice while raising it. Despite the change in volume, he didn’t sound like he was actually shouting at me.

A small moment seemed to pass before I heard Hank complain again. “Jesus, I must be the only cop in the world that gets assaulted in his own house by his own fuckin' android.”

“Hey, if Connor didn’t do it, I would’ve!” I yelled at Hank. “So, SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

“YOU TOO?!” Hank exclaimed in indignation.

“Yes, me too!” I bit back with. “Because like it or not, I care about you! Because someone has to, so deal with it!”

I knew Hank didn’t really have much of a high opinion of himself. It was one of the reasons his self care was so poor. But like fuck I was gonna let that slide! I considered Hank a good friend, and I sure as Hell wasn’t going to let a friend wallow in his self-loathing and misery.

“You seem to have personal issues.” I heard Connor saying from the bathroom. “You should consult a professional who can help you!”

“Beat it! You hear me!?” Hank shouted at Connor. “Get the Hell outta here!”

I scoffed at him. “Hank, Connor’s right, you know!” I yelled.

I got no answer, so I just went back to petting Sumo. As much as I wanted to join in, the dog has me pinned to the ground with his head, and thus I am not allowed to leave.

That’s just the law of having animals. If they decide they wanna sleep, sit, or lay on you, that’s it. You live there now.

“I understand.” Connor said. “It probably wasn’t interesting anyway...a man found dead in a sex club downtown...” I snickered at him. “Guess they’ll have to solve the case without us...”

“Hey!” I shouted. “If Hank wants to stay home, we can make this case into a fun romp! Wouldn’t be too bad a place for a date!” I teased, a smug grin on my face. I knew he didn’t react to things like jokes or teasing in the same way humans did, but it didn’t make me want to do it any less. It was one of the ways I expressed affection, and I got the feeling that even though Connor didn’t understand it really, he understood that that’s how I expressed myself.

“You know, it probably wouldn’t do me any harm to get some air...” Hank said, agreeing. I couldn’t help but chuckle. There he is. Sumo shifted a bit, though instead of getting up and leaving, he just slumped more onto his side and shoved his face further into my lap. Welp, guess I’m never leaving.

“I’ll go get them!” Connor’s voice rung out. I was confused for a moment, but very quickly my brain pieced together from context clues. Ah, clothes. Fresh clothes. “What do you want to wear?”

“Whatever!” Hank groaned.

A moment seemed to go by before I heard Hank yelling and gasping, and I felt my stomach churn. I’ve always had sort of a weak stomach, and I especially couldn’t really handle vomit. The most I’ve ever had to do was help my sister throw up over the phone after she drunk too much one night. She was very much the sad drunk that night, but at least my sort of nonchalant blase attitude made her feel a lot better. Anytime she’d moan about how she was dying, I would just remind her that she wasn’t dying, and that she was just sad and drunk and that she’d be fine.

Sometimes reacting to something as if it’s not a big deal can help ground someone in reality. Inversely, reacting to other things like it is a big deal can also help ground someone in reality. It just depends on context.

Connor closed the bathroom door, muffling the sounds of Hank’s ordeal and the android slowly approached me. “Is Hank okay?” I asked him.

“He’ll be fine.” Connor informed me. “He informed me that he just needs five minutes. He’s just suffering from alcohol intoxication and his body is forcefully expelling it from his systems.”

“Yeesh!” I grimaced. “I’m very glad I stay away from alcohol. It’s not good and it tastes like urine in a mug. I’ve only ever really gotten drunk once, and I’m avoiding that situation again.”

Connor’s brows furrowed in concern for a moment as he regarded me. “Did something happen?”

“Oh! No, nothing bad happened!” I assured him. “I was in my apartment when I was still living in Canada just after I finished going to university. I was with Frank and a few of my friends from school for a beach day/board game night, and I wanted to see what I’m like when I’m drunk. Needless to say, I’ve discovered that I’m a silly drunk. So it wasn’t horrible and it’s definitely fun to remember, but I don’t think I want to get drunk again.”

“Ah, I see.” Connor said, nodding. “Probably a wise decision.”

His dark eyes then flicked over to Sumo and I saw his lips gently curl into a smile as he bent down to pet the St. Bernard, the dog lifting his head up to sniff at Connor’s hand. “You mentioned that you like dogs.” I said to him, remembering his conversation with Hank earlier at the station.

“Yes.” Connor replied, gently running his hand over the dog’s back and belly. “And I think it would be easy to assume you do, as well.”

“Oh, absolutely!” I answered, giving Sumo a good head scratch, to which the dog groaned and grumbled happily. I could easily recognize the sounds of a dog that was enjoying a good scratch. “But, I love all critters. Well, I’m not a fan of spiders, but I can usually at least appreciate them...when I’m not cowering in the corner.”

Connor nodded and got up, looking over the room. He inspected Hank’s vinyl collection, a set of jazz records.

He then left the living room and walked towards the dining room where we found Hank. I wondered for a moment if Connor inspected my house like that while I was brewing myself tea, learning as much as he could about me through simple observation. He knelt down to examine the revolver on the ground, and I couldn’t lie, the sight of it still made me tense up. “What were you doing with the gun?” Connor called out to Hank.

“Russian roulette! Wanted to see how long I could last...” Hank called out, his voice muffled by the bathroom walls. I let out a sigh, scrunching my face. “Must've collapsed before I found out...”

I heard Connor examining the revolver further, before he put it back down. “You were lucky, the next shot would have killed you.” He said rather pointedly.

I snuggled in closer to Sumo, feeling a darkness creep into my very senses. I knew Hank had...tendencies. He wasn’t suicidal. He couldn’t really pull the trigger. Not knowingly. But he kept testing the limits and leaving it up to chance, hoping somewhere that God would just kill him already.

The kind of man with nothing to live for, but no reason to die. A feeling I knew all too well.

And I knew full well the reason why. Connor had gotten up off the floor and was staring at it. A framed photo of Hank’s son, Cole. He died four years ago in an accident. He was only six. For a moment, I contemplated telling Connor the whole story. But...that wasn’t my story to tell. Whether or not Connor should hear the story was up to Hank, not me. And I had enough respect for Hank not to infringe on that right.

Hank wasn’t the type who was really all that good at expressing his feelings or talking about his problems. He tended to keep that shit to himself. He locked himself off from others, while I was eager to share. I talked about vulnerable things, but...I wasn’t really being vulnerable. Oversharing was just something I did to help me feel more in control. It was just another way to protect myself from my own guilt. My own darkness.

Hank and I weren’t always friends. But we understood each other. There was only one time he really opened up to me, and funnily enough, it was sort of the first time we had properly met.

I had just made detective after graduating from the police academy and being an officer for a while. One of my first cases was dealing with a set of red ice dealers, and I got a tip from a CI that a handoff was supposed to go down in a public park. So Chris and I made our way there early so that we couldn’t miss it. Chris waited in an unmarked vehicle, keeping an eye on things and letting me know if he saw any movement through my walker.

Whilst I was making my way around the place, I saw him there. Lieutenant Hank Anderson, sitting on a bench with a bottle of whiskey in hand. I’d seen him around before, but I’d never really even spoken to him. I sort of didn’t really like him, as he just kind of seemed like an unprofessional, crotchety, old drunkard that didn’t really take his job seriously, yet enjoyed his position of authority anyways.

But when I saw him sitting there on that bench, he seemed so...lost and forlorn. He was looking pretty sombre, and since he was off-duty, this was his time off the clock. He noticed me and gave me a nod. “Officer.” He greeted with a grunt.

“Lieutenant Anderson.” I replied in kind. “And it’s ‘detective,’ now.” He rolled his eyes, and I noticed that there was a place I could sit. I wasn’t sure what compelled me to keep him company, but...I felt like I should. “I’m waiting to see if my CI was right about a dealer making a handoff here. So, mind if I have a seat?”

The lieutenant scoffed. “Yeah, go ahead. Whatever.” He droned. 

I was briefly annoyed, but took a seat, being careful not to sit too close to him or touch him. He was definitely distant, I could see it in his pale blue eyes. Looking around, it seemed pretty strange to me that someone like him was just sitting and getting drunk at a children’s playground alone. So in my mind, he was either dealing with some shit, or he was just an old drunk creep. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, however, and decided to gently pry at him. “So, what’s a guy like you doing at a place like this at this hour with a bottle of booze?” I asked him. “Get kicked out of too many bars for roughhousing some assholes?”

He seemed to actually be briefly amused by my attempt at bonding, giving me a weak chuckle. But he downed another gulp of whiskey and shot me a glare. “Why the fuck do you care?”

As rude as that question was asked, I just shrugged. “Why not? Wallowing in misery is a lot less shitty when someone’s there to make sure you get cleaned up, after.” I said to him blankly. “I’m not allowed to be worried about a fellow officer?”

“Tch, what?” He scoffed at me, shoving me a little aggressively. “Do I look pathetic to you? Like a fucking loser? You just sitting here and acting like you care outta fuckin’ pity?”

I’ve dealt with enough aggressive jagoffs to know that responding in kind with aggression just made them angrier. It was just easier and better to diffuse them. “You say that like basic human empathy is a bad thing.” I shot back with a monotone delivery, an eyebrow raised.

He seemed to respond to that neutrally, shaking his head with a scoff. “Whatever.” He grumbled, taking another swig of booze. “It’s not like a kid like you could understand.”

I blinked at him a couple times, not breaking my gaze from him. “Try me.” I said simply.

He was quiet for a moment. But then, to my surprise, he actually started talking to me. He...he told me everything. About Cole. About the truck skidding on the road. About Cole’s trip to the hospital. About how an android was tasked to operate on his son, and...Cole didn’t make it.

I listened intently, responding only when it was appropriate for me to. And...I told him about Frank.

At that moment, we understood each other. We both knew grief and loss, and it affected us in our daily lives. It changed the way we each respectively saw the world. I then heard Chris on the walker about the dealer making the handoff, and Hank and I ended up arresting him and a couple of other dealers that were in the area.

After that, we actually started to become familiar with one another. We were partners on a few cases, and after that, he started getting me on other tougher cases. Even the other detectives were surprised that I was getting “special treatment.” But at that point, we weren’t just colleagues or occasional partners.

We were friends. We could depend on each other and trust each other. We had each other’s backs. And we understood each other better than anyone else in the precinct did. All thanks to that one night.

Distracting me from my thoughts, Sumo quickly got up and walked towards the bathroom, and I heaved myself up onto my feet, approaching Hank. He was wearing something pretty snazzy, if a little silly. But for where we were going, it would work. Hank turned from Connor to me and sighed. “Hey, kid.”

“Hey, Hank.” I replied in kind. “You feeling better now?”

“Yeah.” Hank assured me, looking down at Sumo. “Be a good dog, Sumo. I won't be long.”

With that, Connor and I quietly followed Hank to the front door, my gaze glancing back at the photo of Cole before continuing out the door. “Sorry about the window, Lieutenant.” Connor apologized to Hank. “I really thought you'd been attacked. Of course, CyberLife will pay for the damage.”

Hank scoffed. “Yeah, trust me, I'll send 'em a bill...”

I sort of shrugged as we emerged back out into the nighttime rain. “I tried to tell him it wasn’t necessary, but he sorta jumped the gun a bit. Or the window, in this case.”

Hank groaned. “That barely took any effort.”

“Yeah, definitely not one of my better jokes.” I agreed. “But in my defense, I didn’t have much to work with.”

--------

“Aw...Feels like somebody's playing with a drill inside my skull...” Hank groaned in the front seat. He was in the passenger’s seat while Connor was driving, a wise decision, I thought. “You sure this is the place?”

Connor shrugged. “It's the address in the report.” He replied nonchalantly.

“Right...Okay...” Hank grumbled. I was feeling pretty bad for him. I mean, he did just deal with lying on the floor drunk. And I would’ve offered him some ibuprofen, but I knew that wasn’t a good thing to take anywhere near alcohol. “Let's get going.”

I raised a concerned eyebrow at Hank. “Are you sure?” I asked him. “Maybe you should stay in the car and Connor and I can deal with this.”

“No, no. I’m fine.” Hank stubbornly assured me. “Don’t you worry about me, I’m okay.” He then got out of the car, bumping his head with a mumble, and I followed quickly along. Connor was last and locked the car after we got out.

As we approached, I noticed all the cops outside, and the cool blue club lighting coming from inside, bright pink neon letters spelling out Eden Club. From the outside, it didn’t seem like a bad place to hang. 

As we approached the entrance, barred off with a holographic do not enter barrier for police investigations, I heard Hank scoff. “‘Sexiest androids in town’...Now I know why you insisted on coming here!”

The club interior was bathed in violet and blue lights, the cool hues making it pleasant on the eyes, I had to admit. Glancing over at Connor, I decided to have a bit of fun. “Really? I didn’t know Connor works here.”

Hank snapped his head around to glare at me and Connor’s brown eyes quickly darted in my direction. I saw his LED flicker red for a moment, and this time I knew I didn’t imagine it. He seemed so typically composed, but I realized something crucial.

Connor could get flustered. Or at least embarrassed.

And then the widest smirk on my face grew. This was going to be fun.

“Alright, that’s it. You’re staying in the car.” Hank ordered.

“Noooooo! I wanna see Gavin get beat up by sex androids!” I cried at Hank as we started to walk in. “Come on, this is the most action I’ve had in months! Wow, given the context, I really should’ve rephrased that.” I realized mid-sentence before shrugging it off.

“Oh, great! A dead body and an asshole, just what I needed...” Hank grumbled before glancing over at me curiously. “Wait, how do you know that Gavin’s here?”

“He texted me when Connor was at my place just before we came to yours.” I told him.

“Why the fuck do you have his number?” Hank exclaimed in disbelief.

I shrugged exaggeratedly. “I don’t! He has mine! And I can promise you I did not give it to him! Someone else must’ve!” I explained. “And he keeps texting me despite the fact that I have never once responded to him!”

“Then why don’t you just block him?” Hank asked in exasperation, seeming to get tired of my general tomfoolery.

I scoffed at him. “Because he’s a shitpost with feet and I’d miss out on comedy gold. Let me read you the text he sent me.” I cleared my throat and fished out my phone, opening it. “‘It’s a real shame that I’m the best cop ever, or I might make a pretty decent stripper.’ Okay, can we agree that Gavin would make an amazing stripper, but none of us are going to stroke his ego like that?”

Hank made a disgusted sound and then sped on ahead, leaving Connor and I behind. I put my phone away and glanced up at Connor, his LED his usual cool blue. I saw it flicker red earlier, and I couldn’t help but desperately want to see it turn that colour again. Putting on a confident and sly look on my face, I put my hands behind my back. “You know, Connor.” I started, the android looking in my direction. I only continued once we were making committed eye contact. “If you run your hands as well as you run your mouth, you could really spice up business around here.” I said with a deliberate raise of an eyebrow and a very deliberate tone to my voice.

And there it was again, that flicker of red. I have never felt more smug in my life.

But that very quickly faded when Connor’s expression changed into a bold one. “Rachel, did you know that I speak over 3000 global dialects fluently?”

It seemed like a random thing to bring up, but I was actually pretty impressed by that. “Ooooh! Cool!” I complimented. “Think you could help me brush up on my Romanian and my Spanish? I’m quite out of practice.”

But his eyebrow turned up at me, a gesture I was not expecting. “Do you know what that means, Rachel?”

Curious, and also skeptical, I narrowed my eyes at him. “What?” I asked.

And the fucking look he gave me when he leaned in close to me to whisper in a voice I didn’t know he could do nearly took me out right then and there. “I’m quite skilled with my tongue.”

I was not expecting him to actually shoot back at me, and I felt the hottest of shame surge up from my toes to my neck, making me involuntarily clench and arch my spine backwards and curl my fingers inward. I felt my chest tighten, feeling like it was going to explode as I just stared at him, wide-eyed and blinking at him as I stopped in place. “D-d-did you just fucking 1-up me?!” I stammered at him in shock.

And he did it again. He stared me down with that damn look, his smirk just taunting me. “What’s the matter, dear detective?” Oh God, no. He’s learning. I thought, trying to ignore the feeling of being referred to as dear detective. “Frustrated to have your own wiles thrown back at you?” I could feel my breaths getting caught in my throat and my chest feeling light. “That’s what you were doing, wasn’t it? In an effort to get under my synthetic skin, as it were?”

What the fuck was happening right now?! He wasn’t supposed to actually be good at this! That’s my thing! Well, if he thinks he can beat me at my own game, he’s dead wrong. “Ohhhhh, you don’t wanna do this with me, tin man.” I whispered at him low, getting all up in his face. “You’ve started a battle of wills of which you cannot hope to win. You may be a machine, but you are not impervious, and you will quickly learn that my spirit is unbreakable. You will emerge from this a broken man, Connor.”

As much as I was taking this challenge, there was a sense of satisfaction that bloomed within me at the blinking red LED on his temple despite his face remaining confident and neutral. “We’ll see about that, detective.”

Connor had been calling me by my first name since I first told him this morning. Clearly choosing to refer to me as simply detective was a deliberate choice. As if he knew this was only a game between us.

Clearly he did not count on the fact that I’m one of the most stubborn people on the planet, and that I have a natural inclination for competition and a refusal to be bested. Quite simply put, I refuse to lose.

“So we will.” I replied. I glanced down, only now noticing the tie he was wearing. I wasn’t exactly the expert on ties, but I liked them. A lot. And I knew that knot when I saw it. Now, this was totally something I saw on a show, but perhaps Connor would respond well to it. Experimentally, I let my right hand travel up his chest and gripped his tie to gently tug him down towards me. “A single Windsor knot?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. “Really? The easiest knot to undo? Why bother wearing any clothes at all if you were going to make such a brazen display, detective?”

There it was again. That blinking red light I was now very much enjoying seeing. “In this environment, it wouldn’t be out of place.”

“Oh, that’s right!” I teased in a mocking voice. “It wouldn’t be out of place for you to strut around in a sex club like the peacock that you are.”

“To be fair, you did mention that I have the visual appearance of a twink.” Connor bit back with a smug grin. “So yes, perhaps I wouldn’t appear too out of place here.”

I then narrowed my eyes at him, both in disgruntlement and in begrudging pride. “Well played, Connor. Well played.”

“Guys!” Hank shouted at us. “The fuck are you doin'?”

Connor’s attention immediately shifted and he began following the old man as if that conversation just didn’t happen. “Coming, Lieutenant.”

I tried to ignore the feeling I was getting after Connor left, and followed them further inside the club. Getting a better look, my potential anticipation of fun quickly plummeted when I looked around at all the androids in underwear and bras that were being kept in tubes. There were also androids performing as pole dancers in the middle of the rooms, but most of them were just...waiting to be rented. As I approached one, I immediately clung to my jacket and pulled it closer to myself, feeling my blood go a little bit cold. “You alright, Rachel?” Hank asked me, approaching me.

I sort of shook my head with a sigh. “Yeah, I just...I thought this was gonna be fun. But,” I paused, taking another look at the sex android that was just staring at me through the glass, “seeing these androids just on display for everyone to see, waiting to just get used and then put back is...to put it mildly, making me uncomfortably self-conscious.”

“Oh yeah?” Hank said with a scoff. “Why’s that?”

I sort of glared at him with a lazy tilt of my head, very much giving him the really? look. “Because most straight white men look at me like that.” I said very bluntly, not hiding the annoyance in my voice. “Let me tell you, it fucking sucks to have to be constantly hypervigilant of my surroundings, especially at night, just so I don’t end up waking up behind a dumpster because some asshole feels entitled to my vagina.”

“Okay! Okay, I get it!” Hank said, waving his hands. I rolled my eyes. I knew men could be squeamish when “women problems” were brought up around them. Or when they had to be confronted about their privileges. But I knew Hank wasn’t just dismissing me, he just wasn’t really...a sensual person and got grossed out kinda easily. “So, what the fuck was that whole deal with you and Connor back there?”

I sort of gave him a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“You were practically climbing up him like a cougar scoring up some territory!” Hank clarified a bit too bluntly for my liking.

“Ugh, gross! It’s not like that!” I groaned, mock gagging a bit. “It was just playful banter that was in theme with the environment because come on. When else am I gonna have an opportunity to make jokes like these in an appropriate setting?”

Hank shoved me with his shoulder as we further walked in. “Alright, whatever you say.” I could tell he wasn’t convinced, but I didn’t really care. “Just keep it in your pants.”

I rolled my eyes at him again. “Won’t be hard.”

As we made our way closer to who I recognized as Ben who was talking to someone I assumed was the manager. “You're not gonna take my license, are you? I mean, ha, I had nothing to do with this!” I heard the guy say in a very hushed and slimy voice and already I decided I did not like him. 

I mean, I didn’t have high hopes that someone who ran a facility like this was a stand-up person. Don’t get me wrong, I have infinite amounts of respect for sex workers and pole dancers and strippers! But it’s no secret that it’s not a safe industry to be in for workers and that management isn’t usually great or even qualifies as the most basic definition of ethical.

Which was why I was very picky about the clubs I went to. Because pole dancers are actually super fun to watch and I want to support them. “The investigation's ongoing, sir, I can't tell you anything for the moment.” I heard Ben say, breaking me out of my thoughts. I noticed Connor regarding the sex androids as I made my way over, and I wondered for a moment if he was just doing his usual observation thing or if he was actually a closet pervert.

But he stole a glance at me, and I looked away just as quick, not wanting him to catch me staring at him.

Wait, why was I staring at him? And why did I care if he noticed?

Deciding not to dwell on that for too long, I decided to just catch up with Hank again and approached them. “Hey, Hank!” Ben called his colleague before glancing over at me. “Hey, Rachel! Heard you got put on the case, too, huh.”

I nodded, a small flush of pride spreading through me. “Yeah, guess they decided that I was too good to leave off the case!” I bragged somewhat jokingly.

“Yeah, don’t get too cocky.” Ben said, gesturing towards a room that was labeled The Red Room. “This one might be a bit of a tough nut to bust.”

I turned to Hank. “See? Ben’s making jokes, too!”

Hank ignored me, deciding just to talk to Ben. “So, how's it goin'?”

“It's that room there. Oh, uh, by the way...” Ben paused, an unpleasant frown on his greying face. “Gavin's in there too.”

“Yeah, I know.” I droned in equal disappointment.

“He texted you?”

“Yeah.” I replied dully. “We’ll head on in. Thanks, Ben.”

I started making my way into the room, the door opening and Hank following behind me. I sensed Connor’s footsteps briskly catching up and ignored the fact that my breath briefly quickened for a moment.

As soon as I walked in, I saw Gavin with his back turned to us, another officer I soon recognized as Chris, and two bodies laid on the ground. It barely took any time for the asshole to notice us. “Lieutenant Anderson, the Detective Slut, and her plastic fuck toy...The fuck are you doin' here?”

I felt a brief rage and frustration bubble up in me before I exhaled it out. “I’m gonna pretend that you didn’t just say that combination of words out loud.”

“We've been assigned all cases involving androids.” Connor replied way more professionally than I would have.

“Oh, yeah?” He said with a condescending glare that made me want to throw him out of a fucking window. “Well, you're wasting your time.” He was looking at the body with a less than appropriate grin on his face. “Just some pervert who, uh, got more action than he could handle.” He laughed, looking directly at me. “Sounds like it’s your kind of Friday night, huh, Rach?”

No way in Hell was I about to take his shit. “Okay, first of all, Gavin, I may be a slut, but I’m a slut with social anxiety and trust issues, so tread lightly.” I warned him with a glare. “And second, you know I don’t have sex with androids. Period.”

“Really?” He was glancing between Connor and I, and I knew exactly what he was implying. And it was making it really hard not to kick him right in the dick. Especially since I was at the perfect height to do so. “Could’ve fooled me.” He said, getting uncomfortably close to me.

“We'll have a look anyway, if you don't mind.” Hank said, trying to ease the tension, getting closer to me.

As Gavin leaned in close, I stood my ground, glaring up at him. “You know, all this is making me pretty frisky. Huh, Rach?”

Blinking at him a couple of times, I replied in the most monotone voice I could muster. “I’m ovulating, let’s go.”

He then gave me a face that I knew meant he was no longer interested. “And, like that the boner’s killed.” He then looked over at Chris and gestured to the black officer to follow. “Come on, let's go...” He said, his eyes focused on Hank. “It's uh... starting to stink of booze in here...”

In a fraction of a second, I had my left hand wrapped tightly around Gavin’s wrist, and I pulled him in close. His groans of pain were audible as I simply glared at him, not breaking my grip on him. “Fuck!” He spat in his strange unique way that sounded more like a sneeze than a swear.

“You’d better watch your damn mouth, Reed.” I warned him, my voice dripping with venom. “Unless you want to be picking your teeth up off the fucking floor. And you and I both know that I can kick your ass with one arm.”

I let him go, and Gavin wasted no time leaving, aggressively shoulder checking Connor as he left, gripping his wrist which I could easily see was going to bruise something fierce. Chris then approached us, nodding politely at us. “Night, guys.”

“Night, Chris.” I replied after him.

After the door closed behind us, I let out a sigh. “Man, the fucking nerve of that guy.” I groaned. “At least he was nice enough to pull out.”

Hank rolled his eyes with a disgusted groan at my joke and I just snickered at myself. I glanced over at Connor and I realized he was staring at me quite intensely, his LED spinning yellow. “What?” I asked him.

“Why did you tell Detective Reed that you were ovulating when it would’ve been counterproductive to rejecting his advances and is also untrue?” I sort of blinked at him in surprise. “I’m not detecting any spike in your ovulation levels based on my vital scan.”

“Oh, Jesus, Connor!” Hank shouted, throwing his arms up. “Can’t you ever just mind your own fuckin’ business?”

I was about to feel really embarrassed and maybe even scold Connor a bit, but then I got a better idea. “Well, first off, guys don’t respond well when you break down stuff into technicals. Sort of kills the mood.” I said, stepping up to him. “And second of all, my eyes are up here, pervert.” I teased, walking up to him and grabbing his tie again, but not pulling him. “Try not to get lost in them, I know that can be quite hard.”

“Hm.” Connor said, tilting his head in confusion. “Interesting how you say they’re ‘up here,’ but I actually have to look down at you to see them.”

“Ohhhhh...fuck you, Connor.” I immediately let go of his tie and shook my head, backing off and sort of laughing begrudgingly. I’m sort of used to having short jokes thrown at me, but the fact that it came from Connor somehow made it worse.

“Hey, dead body here.” Hank said, getting our attention and throwing a very pointed glare at me in particular. “Can we maybe focus?”

Connor nodded. “Sure thing, Lieutenant.” 

I walked over to examine the body of the guy on the bed, feeling a bit queasy. Even though he hasn’t been dead long enough to smell or even look dead, aside from his eyes popping out of his head, it still never got any easier looking at them.

I glanced over at Connor, who seemed to have decided to investigate the android. He dipped his fingers in the blue blood trickling down her nose, and brought them to his lips, gently lapping at it once. “Whoa! Hey! Hey! Hey!” Hank rushed over in exasperation. “Argh, Connor, you're so disgusting... Think I'm gonna puke again...”

My brain was running on autopilot, generating what it seemed to think was a totally normal completely inconspicuous response. “Yep, super gross. Absolutely disgusting.” 

Although, as soon as I said that, Connor locked eyes with me, and I immediately felt my heart jump, and just looked away, blocking my view of him with my right hand. I started breathing heavily as the obscene thought might have crossed my mind a bit...maybe...somewhat...kind of...sort of...You know what? It doesn’t matter. As I walked over to the dead body, trying to avoid looking at Connor, Hank made his way over to the nearby table.

I quickly realized that my heart was still going. It wouldn’t stop. And it was really weirding me out. Why is everything so weird all of a sudden? I then took a good look around myself and reminded myself of where I was currently. Sex club. That’s why. We’re in a sex club, of course things would feel weird. 

I was not prepared for Connor to approach me from behind, the brush of his shoulder making me almost gasp in shock. “Are you alright, Rachel?” He asked, dropping whatever playful or teasing tone he had before in favour of one of concern. “Your heart rate has elevated again and so has your breath intake. Do you need to take a step outside?”

I sort of smiled at his concern, turning to look at him. “I’m fine, I’m just...never used to dealing with dead bodies, that’s all.” I assured him, but somewhere inside, that didn’t feel completely honest. But...why? Connor, however, seemed to accept my answer, and I went about examining the body. 

The first thing I noticed, aside from the victim’s protruding bloodshot eyes, was the bruising on the neck. It was definitely obvious enough to me that it was clear that he was strangled to death. It wasn’t a heart problem. And clearly, Connor noticed it too, as he got up and approached Hank. “He didn't die of a heart attack, he was strangled.”

“Yeah, I saw the bruising on the neck.” Hank agreed, reading something. “Doesn't prove anything though. Could've been rough play...”

I scoffed. “Not like this, it’s not.” I said, confidentally. “When you engage in breathplay, if you’re gripping so hard that it’s potentially bruising, that’s extremely dangerous. Even gripping hard enough to lightly bruise can cause brain damage. That’s why you really need to know your limits before you try it. The android who did this was choking with the intent to kill. They meant to strangle him to death.”

Hank glared at me. “I don’t want to know how you know that.”

“I’ve dabbled before.” I answered. “Not that hard to figure out.” 

I glanced over at Connor and noticed him staring at me, his LED flickering red before spinning to yellow. “We're missing something here...” He said in frustration, walking over to the android on the ground.

“Think you can read the android's memory?” Hank suggested. “Maybe you can see what happened.”

“I can try.” Connor said hesitantly.

“It might be our best bet.” I agreed. “Androids don’t leave fingerprints, so we’re out of luck there, and we can’t really figure out what happened otherwise. Ben was right, this is kind of a tough one.”

A moment seemed to go by before Hank broke the silence. “Driver's license says: Michael Graham.” He said, violently reminding me of the android that I somehow managed to sneak out of the police precinct earlier before I went back home. It was not an easy feat, and I’m really fucking glad I didn’t get caught. But I managed to smuggle him to my house, get him a change of clothes, cleaned him up, and now, Micheal walks a free man. I just hope he doesn’t get himself into more trouble.  “A credit card, cash in the wallet...Picture of his wife and two daughters...” Yikes! “I wouldn't want to make that call.”

I sort of let out a sigh. “You know, I think his wife might’ve actually dodged a bullet, there.”

“The only way to access its memory is to reactivate it.” I heard Connor say from behind me. I decided to leave the dead body and approach the android, broken on the ground with blue blood coming out of her nose.

“Think you can do it?” Hank asked, coming up behind us.

“It's badly damaged...” Connor pressed his hand on her abdomen, making her stomach deskin itself, revealing what looked like a panel against grey plating. “If I can, it'll only be for a minute, maybe less...I just hope it's long enough to learn something.”

As he opened her up revealing the wiring and tubes beneath, I grimaced in phantom pains. “Poor thing.” I muttered under my breath. “If I had my tools, I might be able to repair her. Compared to Micheal, she might actually be easier to repair, if I can figure out what’s damaged.”

The two ends of a tube inside were dislodged and separated. Connor carefully gripped them and locked them back together, suddenly spurring the android back to life, her LED a constant red. As she gasped and scrambled away, I nearly fell backwards onto my ass, quickly rolling over so I could crouch beside her. Instantly, my response was to reassure her. “It’s okay, we’re not going to hurt you, we need you to tell us what we need to know.” I said softly.

“You were damaged and I reactivated you. Everything is alright.” Connor said succinctly to the reactivated android.

She seemed to relax, taking in the situation. “Is he...is he dead?” She asked.

I nodded. “Tell me what happened.” Connor ordered.

“He started...hitting me...” She began explaining, her LED going back to spinning yellow. “Again...and again. I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't.”

“Did you kill him?” Connor asked.

She blinked at him for a moment before she answered. “No...no, it wasn't me...”

“Were you alone in the room? Was there anyone else with you?” Connor asked, his tone more frantic and urgent.

“He wanted to play with two girls...” She responded, her breath starting to pick up speed. “That's what he said, there were two of us...”

“Where did the other android go? Did it say anything?”

But there wasn’t enough time, as her facial expression instantly dropped, and her LED started winding down to nothing. She was dead. “Jesus Christ...” I breathed. I had never been so unnerved. It wasn’t like when a human dies and slowly bleeds out. It just...stopped. Mid-sentence. It made my blood drain from my face.

“So, there was another android...” Hank remarked. Connor got up, sighing in frustration and I got up with him, facing Hank. “This happened over an hour ago, it's probably long gone...”

“No...It couldn't go outside dressed like that unnoticed...” Connor pointed out, his eyes still on the android. “It might still be here.”

I shrugged. It seemed logical. “Makes sense, I doubt there are a lot of spare clothes either in here or the local dumpsters.” I said, agreeing. “But it has still been an hour. And it’s not like someone immediately noticed a dead body and a missing android. That’s quite the window of time to make an escape.”

Hank seemed to regard Connor for a moment, the android’s gaze fixed on the lieutenant. “Think you could find a deviant among all the other androids in this place?” He asked.

Connor shook his head. “Deviants aren't easily detected.”

I sort of looked at him in surprise. “Damn, so this is stumping you too, eh?”

“Ah, shit...There's gotta be some other way...” Hank muttered, starting to pace. I was trying to rack my brain for some way to solve this, too. But it was difficult. “Maybe an eyewitness? Somebody who saw it leaving the room...”

“Maybe...” I repeated, still trying to think.

“I'm gonna go ask the manager a few questions about what he saw. You let me know if you think of anything.” Hank said, the door opening behind him as he left. 

We followed, seeing no point in staying in the red room. I decided to grit my teeth and try to talk to the manager, seeing as I had managed to think of some decent questions to ask him. But I was definitely not looking forward to dealing with the slimy creep. 

He was standing around anxious, reasonably so, and I stayed right next to Hank with my notepad out ready to take notes. “Hey there, just wanna ask you some questions, sir.” I said in a relatively neutral way.

“Oh, yeah. Sure thing, not a problem.” He agreed, shuffling on his feet.

“Did you know the victim?” Hank asked.

“No, I mean he came in maybe two or three times...I mean these guys they don't really talk very much, you know...” The manager answered without much hesitation. So far, so good. I thought as I jotted down a note. “They come in, do their business and then go on their way...”

Hank nodded. “You ever had any trouble with androids before?”

“No way!” The manager said in a way that really didn’t sound convincing and I had to stop myself from giving him a judgy eyebrow. “Well...Once...” I nodded. Ah, there it is. “We lost a model 2-3 months back, bah...same model...Just vanished, we never found out what happened.”

I nodded, jotting that down, also taking note about the potential questionability of that piece of info. “You probably don't have any CCTV in here, huh?” Hank then asked, looking around the place.

The manager then sort of chuckled. “No way...I mean...” He replied. “This is what people appreciate about Eden Club...discretion. They can come and go without a trace.”

“Sure, sure...” Hank said sarcastically. I nodded. Cool, cool, really helpful, ain’t you? I thought, taking another note. “Eh, business is booming, right?”

“Yeah, can't complain...” The manager answered all too eagerly for my liking. “Good thing about androids is they're up for whatever you want, you won't get any diseases and, uh...they won't tell anyone...So, why not go wild?”

I shook my head, taking another note. Gross. “Huh, yeah...Yeah, the more I learn about people, more I love my dog.”

I smiled, letting out a sigh. “Alright, and I’ve got a couple questions myself, if you don’t mind, sir.” I said. “So, the androids are sort of like the staff, right?”

The manager was laughing at me. “I mean, they’re androids. They don’t exactly need to be paid, little missy.”

I sort of glared at him before sighing. “Okay, that’s my fault, I should’ve phrased that question better.” I conceded. “There are staff entrances and areas where customers and patrons don’t have authorization to enter. Do the androids here have that authorization?”

“Well, yeah...I mean, they have to go somewhere between their, uh, sessions.” The manager answered. “To get repairs and checkups, y’know. Keep them in working order.”

I took another note. “So, where would the most prominent places be for the androids to go between sessions?” I asked.

“Entrance to the warehouse, probably.” The manager answered again. “It’s where our models come in and also where we get them calibrated and built, y’know. All that technical stuff.”

That was all I thought was necessary to know, and my notepad looked like this:

Micheal Graham, death by strangulation about an hour ago

The android that was dead in the room was not the one that killed him

Patrons don’t have a personal relationship with the manager, but this one was somewhat of a regular

Only trouble was an android that disappeared around 2-3 months ago, though that seems a bit questionable (needs to be looked into, potentially)

No cameras or recordings

Business is good, so real reason for foul play or some kind of financial scandal

Androids have staff authorization

Android warehouse most likely place for androids to hide

“Alright, I think that’s a good amount of info to at least have something to go off of.” I said to the manager. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

“Oh yeah, no problem!” He said a bit too hastily. “Just, uh, let me know if you, uh...need anymore help.”

“Excuse me, Lieutenant.” I heard Connor say, making me jump a little as he approached us. “Can you come here a second?”

“Found something?” Hank asked.

“Maybe...” Connor replied, less like he actually had something and more like he had an idea and needed to make sure it actually held any water.

I followed Connor alongside Hank to one of the tubes with an android in it, grimacing slightly as I neared it. “Can you rent this Traci?”

I sort of blinked my eyes at the android in surprise for a couple seconds. “I’m sorry?”

“For fuck's sake, Connor, we got better things to do...” Hank protested in disgust.

“I know I was making jokes earlier, but this is very much not the time to get your rocks off, Connor!” I scolded him. “You can come back and do that later after we deal with the murder!”

“Please, Lieutenant!” Connor pleaded as Hank was turning to walk away. “Just trust me.”

Hank looked like he was going to just leave, but gave up and started to work with the interface, actually going through with a purchase. “Hello. A 30 minute session costs $29.99. Please confirm your purchase.” The machine said.

I blinked a couple times at it. “$30 for half an hour?!” I exclaimed. “Holy shit, what a steal!” Hank then slowly turned towards me, his eyes narrowed into the most judgy look I’ve ever seen him give me. “I’m sorry! I guess everyone else has more expensive tastes in sex workers than I do! Excuse me!” I said, backing away and throwing my arms up. I was a cheapass bitch, and I was not about to be ashamed of it. I say, as I actually kind of have expensive tastes that I really have to fight myself on.

Hank then went back to confirming the purchase and groaning. “This is not gonna look good on my expense account...”

The machine then chimed again. “Purchase confirmed. Eden Club wishes you a pleasant experience.”

“Yeah, you're welcome.” Hank grumbled. 

The door to the pod opened and the android stepped out to greet Hank. “Delighted to meet you.” I couldn’t lie...her voice was doing things to me, and as much as I didn’t like the thought of sleeping with androids, I couldn’t deny the appeal. “Follow me, I'll take you to your room.”

“Okay, now what?” Hank asked Connor annoyedly.

Connor then locked eyes with me, his dark brown irises swirling with interest as I felt myself prickle under his gaze, and by the way his LED was spinning yellow again, I could already tell he was analyzing me. “Hey, don’t look at me like that!” I hissed at him in slight embarrassment. “I stick to my scruples, but I’m only human!”

Connor raised an inquisitive eyebrow at me. “I didn’t say a word.”

I grumbled and turned away from him. “Just do your thing, you fuckin’ roomba.”

Connor then approached the Traci and grabbed the inside of her arm, his left hand deskinning and his LED turning yellow again, showing that he was taking in information. “Holy shit, Connor...” Hank breathed. “What the hell are you doin'?”

After a moment of Connor just standing there holding onto the Traci, he suddenly turned to the both of us. “It saw something.”

“What are you talkin' about? Saw, what?” Hank asked, his brows knitted together in confusion.

“The deviant leave the room...” Connor clarified. “A blue-haired Traci.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “Damn, we’ve got a lead!”

“Club policy is to wipe the androids' memory every two hours. We only have a few minutes if we wanna find another witness!” Connor said, jumping my instincts into overdrive.

“Oh, great!” I groaned. “That’s just super fucking convenient.” I let out a sigh as I consulted my notepad. “The manager said that androids have authorization to go into staff only areas. If we check those places, we might find her. They’d make pretty decent places to hide.”

“If we go looking blindly, we might alert the deviant to our presence and lose it.” Connor retorted.

“But checking every android on the chance that they’ve all seen her walking around might take too long and waste time!” I pointed out.

“We don’t have time for this!” Hank shouted at the both of us. “Split up, we’ll cover more ground that way.”

I nodded. “Right. I’ll go look in the staff only areas, you check the androids.”

“Right.” Connor agreed.

“Just let me know if you need backup, Rachel!” Hank called.

“Will do!” I was already on my way, scanning every potential entrance and every room. 

Blue-haired Traci, that’s pretty easy to find. So far, I haven’t seen an android with blue hair in here. I thought, wandering around into an offset of the main area that was bathed in more red lighting than purple. “Hey, what are ya doin’ here, Luis?”

Luis! That name shot through me like lightning and I felt my heart start racing as my eyes locked onto where the sound was coming from. “Sorry, I know you’ve got this whole thing going on, but I forgot to tip you.”

The rest of the conversation started sliding off my brain as it started to spiral completely out of control. Glasses...beard...anime obsessed creep look...Luis...I started to breath heavily and tremble, both fear and rage long buried starting to bubble to the surface threatening to drown me. I took a few hesitant steps backward as my mind started to swirl. No...I thought I was rid of him! I thought he was gone for good! But he’s here! And he’s found me! I nearly stumbled. No! No! No! No! No! He’s going to see me and drag me back! I can’t go back! I can’t! Not again! Never again! I can’t ever go back! Never! Never! Never! Never!

--------

“There're androids everywhere! How you gonna tell which one saw the Traci with blue hair?” Hank asked impatiently from behind Connor as he began approaching the Traci dancing on the pole. 

Software Instability ^ But he noticed movement from the corner of his eye and saw Rachel, stepping backwards out of the red room, her heart rate spiked far beyond what was typical of her and she was beginning to hyperventilate. She was showing signs of another trauma-induced panic attack, and Connor followed her gaze and saw a man talking to the manager in the red room.

He approached closer and scanned the man to identify him.

Question Luis 🔓

Locate Deviant

--------

I couldn’t stay. Not while he was here. I ran into the blue room and ran through the first staff exit I could find, and it led down a hallway towards a black door that I tore open without any thought. I was too afraid to think about anything else than getting away and hiding. He’ll find me! I thought frantically, gasping for air and feeling my eyes swell.

I found myself surrounded by several androids that weren’t even activated yet. It was a warehouse of sorts, but I didn’t care, I just ran.

I ran and found somewhere to hide and curl up into a ball until this was all over. I nestled myself in the furthest and darkest corner of the room, rocking myself back and forth in my panic.

And suddenly, I heard whispers around me.

“What are you doing?”

“We have to help her!”

“She’s a human! We can’t trust her!”

“But she’s so scared...she’s just trying to hide...like us.”

“How do we know we can trust her?”

“We don’t...but we can’t just leave her here.”

My eyes started darting around wildly, my hand reaching for my pistol as I pulled it out of my holster, my hands trembling as I held it out and pointed it around me. “W-who’s there?!” I stammered, my voice cracking. Not exactly the toughest image for potentially violent androids to see. “Show yourself!”

I heard the sounds of shoes clacking in the warehouse as I saw two shapes step out of the shadows slowly with their hands up. “Please don’t shoot.” One of them whispered.

In the light, I was able to see them both more clearly. They were both Tracis. One had very short brown hair that was more spiked, and the other was the blue-haired Traci. “Don’t be afraid.” The blue-haired Traci said, gently leaning down to me with her hands still up. “We’re not going to hurt you. Just tell us who you’re hiding from.”

With both Tracis showing themselves to me with a gun pointed at them, not wanting to attack me, I let my guard down and put the gun back into my holster and allowed both androids to approach me.

--------

Probing the memory of a working janitor in the blue room, Connor was able to see where the blue-haired Traci finally ended up. “I know where it went! Follow me!” He announced to Hank who was following him along. He made a mental note to pay Hank for all the funds he had to spend on renting the androids just so Connor could probe them, especially the unsuccessful ones.

“Fucking-A. This is crazy...” Hank groaned, shaking his head. “Let’s go find Rachel, first.” He then looked around. “Wait...where the fuck’s she gone?”

Connor began to feel uneasy at her absence. It hadn’t been long ago. “She was going to check all notable staff entrances for the deviant.” He recalled. “When I saw her last, she seemed panicked and frantic. Like earlier, on the highway.”

Software Instability ^ “Shit!” Hank cursed, throwing his arm down. “We’ve gotta find her before she gets herself into trouble.”

Connor looked around the room. “She couldn’t have gone far.” He said, more panic and worry in his voice than he intended to show. “Maybe she’s closer than we think.”

“Well, find out!” Hank shouted at Connor.

Objective: Find Rachel

Connor tried to locate the android with the best vantage point and approached the one he had checked earlier for the blue-haired Traci and failed to locate her. “This one must have seen her come by this way if she has.”

“We’ve already checked this one!” Hank complained.

“For the deviant.” Connor pointed out. “An hour ago. But Rachel had to have come here within the last two minutes, and he was here.”

Hank shook his head and complied, renting the android again. Connor probed its memory once again and saw the blue room as it was when they arrived. Easily, he saw Rachel rush into the staff entrance.

Software Instability ^ “She went where the deviant is.” Connor said.

“Holy shit.” Hank breathed. “We’ve gotta get to her now! She shouldn’t have run off by herself like that!”

“We don’t have time!” Connor shouted, already making a beeline towards the door. “Hurry!”

“Wait!” Hank said, pushing himself in front of Connor before the android could burst through the door at the end of the hallway. “I'll take it from here.” He ordered.

Connor obediently stepped behind Hank, feeling an urgent need to rush in. If Rachel had gotten hurt, Connor didn’t think he could stop himself from doing something reckless, even if he had promised her he wouldn’t. But he was confident that no harm would come to himself, for her sake.

Objective complete

Hank quietly opened the door into the warehouse, and slumped against the wall with two androids was Rachel, breathing deep and trying to steady her heart rate.

Connor quickly identified two Tracis, including the blue-haired Traci who was standing up in front of Rachel head-on. “Don’t you dare come near her!” She threatened.

“She’s our partner!” Hank shouted at her. “Back off!”

Connor saw Rachel’s left hand clasped around the brown-haired Traci’s hand. But something was different. Something was off.

They were both the same shiny off-white that android arms were made of. And clearly, Connor wasn’t the only one who noticed.

Rachel’s left arm was replaced with an android’s.

“Wait...you’re...?” Hank hesitated, staring at Rachel who was now looking at the both of them. “You’re an android?”

“No.” Connor said, seeing where the arm stopped on Rachel’s left. “She’s missing her left arm. It’s a prosthetic.”

--------

It only took a moment for me to understand. When the brown-haired Traci offered her hand to me, I took it. But I wasn’t prepared for how it would feel to be connected to someone else that way.

I felt her fear. Her love. Her care. And her concern. I felt everything she was feeling. And she could feel mine, I could see it in her eyes.

They were crouched beside me protectively, listening intently to me explaining why I was cowering in the warehouse, a detective amongst the deviants I was tasked to take in. I couldn’t say much, but I think they understood.

And then Connor and Hank came into the warehouse and saw me. They were threatening the Tracis and then saw my arm and realized the truth. 

“Wait...you’re...?” Hank hesitated, staring at Rachel who was now looking at the both of them. “You’re an android?”

“No.” Connor said, his eyes scanning over her arm. “She’s missing her left arm. It’s a prosthetic.”

I felt my heart get stuck in my throat at the sight of him. “Connor.” I whispered, another set of tears rolling down my cheek.

Hank had his gun on the Tracis and I felt my heart stop. “I’m giving you both one last chance! Step away from her!”

“Make us!” The blue-haired Traci challenged before she charged at Hank.

Connor quickly dashed in front of Hank to engage in combat with the blue-haired Traci before the other Traci let go of my hand, and her comfort, understanding, and compassion with her. Once again, I was alone with the darkness of my own thoughts and in front of me was fear.

Fear for the safety of my partners. And fear for the safety of the androids who had just risked theirs to comfort me. “Wait, stop!” I cried.

But they didn’t listen.

Things were moving too fast and I couldn’t pick out details. But I saw Connor and the brown-haired Traci rolling over the different appliances and examination tables near the exit of the warehouse. 

“Connor!” I cried, wobbling to my feet to get to him, but my balance was really poor and I quickly collapsed to the floor as he had. I was definitely in no condition to fight right now.

“Rachel!” I heard him cry back, and I saw him reaching out to me before the Traci was on him again, yanking him away from me.

Suddenly, they both rolled out of the warehouse and I gasped. “CONNOR!” Once again I tried to scramble to my feet to try and reach the android before I suddenly saw the blue haired Traci rush over to help the other Traci up.

I tripped over the ledge as I stumbled forward, landing fully onto Connor. I managed to push myself up and was looking down into his dark eyes, hid LED spinning red.

In only a second, Connor grabbed me and and pushed me up against a nearby box. “Stay here, and don’t try and fight!”

“But you - !”

“No!” Connor insisted sharply. “You’re in no condition to fight, stay there!”

Hank quickly rushed out back into the fight, but was easily outdone by both the Tracis and thrown against the brick wall. As they both rushed towards the fence, Hank shouted at Connor. “QUICK! THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!”

I couldn’t properly walk, so all I could do was watch. But the more I sat there while Connor was dragging them off the fence, the more I couldn’t sit there any more.

I couldn’t let them hurt each other.

They put up even more of a fight against each other, grabbing other instruments in the alleyway. As I stumbled over, Hank glared at me. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

“I...can’t let them...” I managed to choke out as I stumbled my way closer.

As I got close, the brown-haired Traci threw a garbage can at Connor, and before I knew it, he had a gun drawn on them.

I felt my heart stop for a moment, thinking he was going to kill her.

But instead, he lowered his gun and was kicked to the ground. And the fighting stopped. It was only for a second, but I saw it clear as day.

But before I could process it any further, I tripped and collapsed onto the ground with a loud grunt. “Rachel!” Connor cried, quickly rushing over to help me up, pulling my right arm over his shoulder and wrapping his free arm around my waist to keep me steady. “I told you to stay out of the way!”

“I couldn’t...” I gasped, heaving heavily. There was more I wanted to say, but I didn’t have the breath or the energy to. I had completely depleted.

The Tracis stayed, and the moment was at a standstill. The blue-haired Traci was the first to speak, facing Connor directly, the brown-haired Traci behind her. “When that man broke the other Traci...I knew I was next...” She began, with a snarl in her strained voice. “I was so scared...I begged him to stop, but he wouldn't...” She continued, her voice further breaking. “And so I put my hands around his throat, and I squeezed...until he stopped moving...I didn't mean to kill him...I just wanted to stay alive...get back to the one I love.” She looked over at the other Traci, a tender smile on her lips. A sigh escaped my own at the sight. It was both one of relief and one of admiration. “I wanted her to hold me in her arms again...make me forget about the humans...their smell of sweat and their dirty words...” She looked over at me when she said that, and I felt the meaning behind it like a stab in my chest.

The brown-haired Traci stepped closer, addressing Connor as well. “Take care of her.” She said, gesturing to me. “She needs your help.” I swallowed hard, knowing about the conversation I was going to have to have with them after this. “Come on, let's go.” She said to the blue-haired Traci.

Hand in hand, the pair of androids jumped the fence and disappeared into the rainy night. Like that, the ordeal was over. I looked over at Connor, the android looking lost and unsure for the first time I’d really seen in him. “Connor...y-you...” I stammered, causing him to look over at me. “You let them go...”

He blinked a couple times, his mouth agape, but no words coming out. “I...”

“It's probably better this way...” Hank said, interrupting what Connor was going to say before he walked over to me. “You feelin’ okay, kid?”

“Yeah...I just...” I gasped, suddenly pulling away from Connor, collapsing onto the ground as I felt my stomach lurch.

“Hey, kid!”

I barely heard Hank cry out before I was throwing up into the wall of the alley, all the built up anxiety finally taking its physical toll on me. I could barely register Connor crouching next to me, his hand on my back as I kept vomiting whatever was still in my stomach from today. 

It didn’t take long for my stomach to stop forcing out everything, and I collapsed onto the ground, exhausted and gasping for air. “We need to get you home, Rachel.” Connor said, his hand firmly gripping my shoulder. “Can you walk?”

I felt like it was a stupid question, but I was far too exhausted to bite back with anything, and my mouth tasted disgusting, the acidity of my stomach acid stinging my throat. “Not...without...losing my balance.” I managed to answer.

Without any hesitation, Connor hooked his right arm under my legs and his left cradled my back as he lifted me up in his arms bridal style with ease. “I’ll take you to the car and drive you home.”

I hadn’t been carried like this in many many years, and it was honestly kind of embarrassing. But...I could barely care. And I would’ve had a worse time trying to walk through the club than just letting Connor carry me through.

It didn’t help that Hank was scolding my ear off. “What the Hell, Rachel?!” He growled at me. “You nearly scared me half to death! Don’t ever fucking run off like that without telling us, first!”

I was too weak to really fight him on it. “I’m sorry...Hank...” I apologized meekly. “I was just...scared that...he’d find me...”

“Scared that who’d find you?!” Hank shouted.

“That’s enough, Lieutenant!” Connor told the old man off firmly. “You need to let her rest! She’s in no condition to argue with you! She’ll explain everything when she decides she’s ready to!”

I was sort of taken aback. Both by his brief aggressive protectiveness and by him considering my own feelings and emotional limits. No doubt, he remembered my reaction to the incident on the highway this morning and how long it took me to be ready to accept Connor’s apology for it. Hank clammed up as Connor carried me through the warehouse.

As soon as we got back into the club, the music was too much and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I pressed myself further into the crook of Connor’s neck, a gesture I wasn’t sure if I actually did on purpose or not, nuzzling into him as he carried me.

But then, something strange happened as I was being carried through. I could’ve imagined it, because it was so brief and because everything was so much and I refused to open my eyes. But...I could’ve sworn I felt Connor press his cheek into my forehead.

It didn’t take long before I felt the cold air hit my skin and the rain soaking into my pants again. “Lieutenant, I’ll need you to ride in the back seat with Rachel while I drive.” He ordered. “Make sure you look after her while we make our way to her home.”

It was strange hearing Connor give Hank such direct orders, and even stranger to hear Hank comply without a fight. “Sure thing, I’ll take good care of her.”

Connor was standing still for a moment and I could hear Hank getting into the car, opening another door. As gently as I think I’ve ever been handled, Connor slipped me into the back seat next to Hank, the old man buckling me into the middle seat and letting me rest my head in his lap and resting his arm across my chest protectively. “Don’t worry kid, you’re gonna be okay.”

I could only shift and moan in exhaustion. “I know...thanks, Hank.”

The door was then closed in front of me. I then heard another door open and felt the motion of the car moving as Connor got into the driver’s seat and started the car.

After a moment of just the sounds of rain and the car engine working, it wasn’t hard for me to fall into the pit of exhaustion.

The only thoughts I could really hold onto was Connor. Connor lifting me into his arms. Connor telling off Hank just to look after me. 

And the ghost of the feeling of his warm soft skin on my forehead.

---------------------------------

Next Chapter

[randomkposts]

Hello

I figured I should start with wall of quotes. Cause whynot

Quotes “It's hard to hate my prep team. They're such total idiots." - Katniss.”

“Here's some advice. Stay alive.” “The cat that Prim got hates me, I think partly because I tried to drown it.” “District 12: Where you can starve to death in safety.”“No. Now, shut up and eat your pears."

” It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death." "Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you will find in the arena. Say it's a gigantic cake-”“Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.”

“Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.”

"Well, leprechauns. You know they're not real, don't you?""Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist and that I am not a gibbering moron."

"I majored in Ancient History. You have your own page in the 'Criminally Insane' section."

"Really, Butler, I must begin choosing my business associates more carefully. Hardly a day goes by when we aren't the victims of some plot.""The punching is not helping my concentration, by the way.""Oh, brilliant. I must write that one down in my witty retorts book."

"The pixie is crazy! Give me your gun, Holly. I'm going to shoot him.""Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?"

"This is a well. You might think that there is something to it... But in fact it is just an ordinary well."

Woman in Ur : Hey, where are you four brats off to now? What...? You're going to go save the world...? Did you get hit on the head or something!?

Gilgamesh : Enough expository banter. It's time we fight like men. And ladies. And ladies who dress like men. For Gilgamesh...IT IS MORPHING TIME! Galuf : Bartz! Stop that! Bartz : But it's fun! poke, poke, poke... Bartz : Jumping Christmas!

Edgar : "That's Shadow! He'd slit his mama's throat for a nickel!" Kefka : "This is sickening! You sound like chapters from a self-help booklet! Prepare yourselves!" Locke : "Hey! Call me a TREASURE HUNTER, or I'll rip your lungs out!" Edgar : "If something were to happen to me, all the world's women would grieve!" Setzer : "My life is a chip in your pile. Ante up."

Yuffie : So! I saved the great Vincent Valentine! Do I get any thanks?

Squall : Right and wrong are not what separate us and our enemies. It's our different standpoints, our perspectives that separate us. Both sides blame one another. There's no good or bad side. Just two sides holding different views. Squall : I dreamt I was a moron...

Seifer : Great, I have one chicken-wuss and one kid who just entered puberty in my team! Squall : ...Whatever.

Auron: The red carpet has teeth. Auron: Outside the dream world, life can be harsh, even cruel, but it is life.

Rikku: Memories are nice, but that's all they are.

Kimahri: Pick spot. Shut up. Wait.

Rikku: Do you think we need a password? Paine: How about 'Kick..it's..ass' Paine : The hardest person to know is one's self.

Raogrimm: People are capable of kindness beyond angels, yet we also commit sins that would put a demon to shame... Lonely Chocobo: Warkkkkk!!! Gweh!!!! Warkkkk

Naja Salaheem : (After Abquhbah faints when he realizes that he's speaking to the empress) Nothing to be concerned about, Your Magnificence. Mercenaries are trained to sleep anywhere, anytime if the opportunity presents itself.

Lightning: Worst birthday ever. Lightning: It's not a question of can or can't. There are some things in life you just do. Lightning: We live to make the impossible possible! That is our focus!

White Mage: Hi. I was just wondering if you knew how much we've suffered because of you. Good day. [after finding the Falcon Rydia : It's not yours. Edge : That's okay, it would be happy to be used by us!

...That's General Leo.. He could be my friend if he weren't my enemy.

You think a minor thing like the end of the world was gonna do me in?

"What a cute doggy!' "Leave us. The dog eats strangers...'

This should be fun. When do we leave?

Read my lips - mercy is for wimps! There's a reason "oppose" rhymes with "dispose"...If they get in your way, kill them!I don't care for the appearance of this pitiful little hamlet... So burn it!!

Figaro Guard : Kefka's "One shy of a six pack!" Imperial soldier : I oppose peace! Narshe resident : Narshe is a neutral city.! We want no war here, but that %#$@& Empire won't listen! South Figaro Resident : We may be thieves, but at least we have goals in life!

Cyan: This is the Phantom Train. It carries the departed to the other side. Sabin : Wait! I don't want to go THERE!

Strago: Go to your room! Relm : I will not! What a fussy old man! Strago : Relm! Is that you, my dear? You're alive! Relm : Idiot! Of course I'm alive! Strago : Oh, I'm so happy..." Relm : Did you think I was gonna check out before you, old man? Strago : You're as foul mouthed as ever, bless your heart!

Shadow: I know what friendship is... and family...

"It's not my problem."

"Don't fight here! You'll ruin the flowers!" "I think they believe I have what it takes to be in SOLDIER!" "Mine is special. It's good for absolutely nothing!"

Don't need no appointment... This is a 'mergency! Anyone who don't wanna get their face bashed in better git outta the way!! "I've got the wrong person."

W-wait a second. I won't run or hide. Yes, I was a spy. I was hired by the Shinra. I couldn't help it. How 'bout if we continue like nothing ever happened?

Shut up! Sit your ass down in that chair and DRINK YOUR GODDAMN TEA!

This's gonna be a big splash. Hold on to your drawers, an' don't piss in 'em!!

Maybe God'd forgive an ugly shit like you, but I won't!

I don't know what the hell it is, but it's falling from the sky. Hmpf! It's not even an omen.

Hey, do you know who I am? I'm Cid—that's who the hell I am! Now just let me handle it!

I don't want to regret not having done something later.

I always thought this planet was so huge. But lookin' at it from space, I realized it's so small. We're just floatin' in the dark. ...kinda makes you feel powerless. On top of that it's got Sephiroth festerin' inside it like a sickness. That's why I say this planet's still a kid. A little kid sick and trembling in the middle of this huge universe. Someone's gotta protect it. Ya follow me? That someone is us.

We're busy runnin' back and forth! Even my bikini goddess would be pantin' about now!

Oh, GAWD! If I knew this was gonna happen, I would've taken rope escape lessons more seriously!!

Escape from a world of illusions... Hmph... I wonder which is better.

I know you want my help because I'm so good!

Cloud, put me in your party, so I can get off this ship. Cloud...sign this. It's a contract that says when the war is over, all the materia will belong to me.

The stars shine so bright, like glowing materia... reach up and grab one. GROSSNESS! Don't mess with me old man! You don't even have any Materia!

Citizens, unite! Come to the light, Mako energy. Power is truth. Shinra is the future. Real happiness can be found in obedience to the company People are ignorant. They'll feel better as long as someone is punished.

Godo : Go! Survive till the end! And return! With the Materia! Doctor in Mideel : You can see for yourself what things look like, but at least no one was seriously hurt. We're just very unhappy now. Junon soldier : I'm learning to be a delinquent soldier!! I just can't seem to get the hang of it! Reeve Tuesti : What may be a few to you was everything to those who died...

Barret : She ain't gonna show up. 'Least this time she didn't steal our materia. Guess we gotta be thankful for that. Yuffie : How could you say that!? I came all the way here after being seasick as a dog! I didn't go through all that just to have you guys have the best parts all to yourselves!

...A speech? Forget it. Cut the mic!

You're-going-to-like-me! You're-going-to-like-me! Did it work?

D-Do you have any...hot dogs left?

...The HELL! Man...Now this is what I call boring. This ain't right, man!

YOOOO!!! The HELL you doin'!!!?

I'm a pretty lucky guy. Hand in hand with two beautiful girls.

That is sooo vague!

Super-Duper-Mega-Bummer!!

Well, Zell was riding his T-Board in the hallways of Garden. He made a sharp turn and went straight into the woman's res...

Sharpshooters are loners by nature... We hone our instincts, pour our whole being in a single bullet. The pressure of the moment... An instant of tension... That's what... I have to face alone...

Well, fine then! We WILL have a good time!

Thanks for the support, but I never miss my target.

Well, we could skin this little guy and wear him as a disguise...

I say things that get a rise out of some people. Just don't let it bother you and we'll get along fine.

Ooh neato! A hole in the middle of no-where!

You've all heard this before. How life has infinite possibilities. I don't believe that one bit. There weren't many paths for me to choose. Sometimes, there would only be one. From the limited possibilities I faced, the choices I made have brought me this far. That's why I value the path I chose... I want to hold true to the path that HAD to be taken.

Let's just fire like crazy and make a big hole, BOOM!

...Speeding. Let's go arrest that student for violation of academy regulations. Listen up! Teamwork means staying out of my way. It's a Squad B rule.

This is the scene where you swear your undying hatred for me!

And so, Laguna runs for dear life. She got upset and put fruit jam in your shoes. You were almost in tears!

Fujin: DISTURBING.RAGE!SHOCK!GOOD. CONVENIENT.PERSUASION, USELESS. SEIZE!IGNORE.RUN!ELLONE? NOT HERE.FATIGUE POSSE... We are. We always will be. Because we're a posse, we want to help you. Whatever it takes to fulfill your dream, we're willing to do. But... You're being manipulated, Seifer. You've lost yourself and your dream. You're just eating out of someone's hand. We want the old you back! Since we can't get through to you, all we have now to rely on is Squall! It's sad... Sad that we only have Squall to rely on... Seifer! Are you still gonna keep goin'?

Big Sister: I can't wait until I meet a guy that I can scream at and exchange blows with!

Quistis : You're the squad leader. Good luck to you. Seifer : ...Instructor. I hate it when people wish me luck. Save those words for a bad student who needs them, eh? Quistis : Alright, then. Good luck, Seifer. Seifer : [to Fujin and Raijin] Add Instructor Trepe to the list. Zone : Our plan is to...Selphie : ...Blow it to smithereens with a rocket launcher!? Zone : [taken aback] ...Ahh...not quite... Rinoa : Oh, shut up! I made it like that on purpose. It represents my hatred towards Deling. Zell : Hatred, eh? Yeah...right. Selphie : It's one of the...ugliest things that I've ever seen in my life. You must really hate him.

You don't need a reason to help people.No cloud, nor squall shall hinder us!Piece of cake. I'm an escape artist.

In the end, it boils down to two simple choices. Either you do or you don't. You'd think with all the problems in this world, there'd be more answers. It's not fair... but that's the way things are. The choice is yours.

SON OF A SHOOPUFF!

Al Bhed is Al Bhed. Rikku is Rikku. Rikku swore to protect Yuna. And Rikku is not a liar. Kimahri can tell. So, she is a friend.

Why are you still here, sir? (pause as Auron looks at him) I beg your pardon. We Guado are keen to the scent of the Farplane.

Rikku : Did you...hit your head or something? Tidus : Um, you guys hit me. Rikku : Oh, right...do you remember anything before that?

Sometimes, when I got a lot on my mind, it just helps to go, "AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Once Lady Yuna fixes her hair, we leave." "Guard your emotions first, then guard your summoner." "Ha! Legendary guardian? I was just a boy. A boy about your age actually. I wanted to change the world too, but I changed nothing. That is my story." "Don't look to others for knowledge. This is your story."

Don't think it's just a game. Your life's on the line. "You. It's what's for dinner." You. Are. Hired."

Barkeep : Mish Yoona, what can I do for yoo?

Yuna : Duck Soup! Paine : Duck what?

Rikku : I'm gonna kick you in the spleen! Paine : Spleen?

Lightning : (to soldier).Nice gun. Noctis : Goodbye, whoever you are.

You sure are a keen observer of the obvious, kupo!

And I know some "little girls" who can kick your butt!

"You hit the Lord of the Titans in the eye with a blue plastic hairbrush."

Rachel: They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb. Annabeth: Was it hard?"

"Love conquers all," Aphrodite promised. "Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?""Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?" "Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart."'

“Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades." "The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?"

Rachel: You're a half-blood, too? Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about? Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god! . . . They don't seem to care."-

"What I did next was so impulsive and dangerous I should’ve been named ADHD poster child of the year."

“You're a stalker with hooves." "I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing.”

Well, we kind of tried to kill each other in a duel to the death." "I see. You tried the diplomatic approach.”

"Well, Percy, what have we learned today?""That three-headed dogs prefer red rubber balls over sticks?""No," "We've learned that your plans really, really bite!”

"Dude!" said a party pony as he unloaded his gear. Did you see that bear guy? He was all like: 'Whoa, I have an arrow in my mouth!”

“Boys are usually forbidden to have any contact with the Hunters. The last one to see this camp…” She looked at Zoe. “Which one was it?”"That boy in Colorado,” Zoe said. “You turned him into a jackalope.”Ah, yes.” Artemis nodded, satisfied. “I enjoy making jackalopes…”

“Christmas in the Underworld was NOT my idea. If I'd known what was coming, I would've called in sick. I could've avoided an army of demons, a fight with a Titan, and a trick that almost got my friends and me cast into eternal darkness. But no, I had to take my stupid English exam.”

“Meat!" he said scornfully. "I'm a vegetarian." "You eat cheese enchiladas and aluminum cans," I reminded him."Those are vegetables.”

"How about this: stealing is not always bad?""I don't think my mom would like that moral."

I thought about the lines Rachel had spoken in that creepy voice: about storm and fire and the Doors of Death. "Maybe," I said, "but it didn't sound so good.""No," said Apollo cheerfully. "It certainly didn't. She's going to make a wonderful Oracle!”

"My son here convinced me that perhaps I should prioritize my list of enemies." He glanced at me with distaste. "As much as I dislike certain upstart demigods, it would not do for Olympus to fall. I would miss bickering with my siblings. And if there is one thing we agree on - it is that you were a TERRIBLE father.”

Running with a drowsy child of Hades was more like doing a 3 -legged race with a life size rag doll.”

“Yay!' he said. 'Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!”

“You know how teachers tell you the magic word is 'please'? That's not true. The magic word is 'puke'. It will get you out of class faster than anything else.”

" He tossed me a jar of thick green liquid—Greek fire, one of the most dangerous magical substances in the world. Then he threw me another essential tool of demigod heroes—duct tape”

“Juniper: Are you guys busy? Percy: Well, we’re in the middle of this game against a bunch of monsters and we’re trying not to die. Annabeth: We’re not busy. ”

Though "peanut butter" is a strange battle cry. It shall be as you say. But my son, pray this works."I am praying. I'm talking to you, right?"Oh . . . yes. Good point.”

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?""Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom." "I do not understand.""I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said."And…" Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam T-shirt."

"with great power... comes great need to take a nap"

“Oh no." I said panic rising in my chest. "No, no, no, Somebody get a can opener. I've got a god in my head!!”“Well," I said. "If you need me, I'll be outside, playing with sharp objects.”

“Fairness means everyone gets what they need. And the only way to get what you need is to make it happen yourself.”

“I guessed his name was Face of Horror. I wondered how long it had taken his mom to think of that. Bob? No. Sam? No. How about Face of Horror?”

“Now the tattoos," Zia announced."Brilliant!" I said."On your tongue," she added."Excuse me?”

“I just love family meetings. Very cozy, with the Christmas garlands round the fireplace and a nice pot of tea and a detective from Scotland Yard ready to arrest you.”

“Carter Kane, 14, died tragically in Paris when he was eaten by his sister’s cat Muffin.”

“There will be guards,” Bast said. “And traps. And alarms. You can bet the house is heavily charmed to keep out gods.” “Magicians can do that?” I asked. I imagined a big can of pesticide labeled God-Away.”

“I believe you, Sadie.""Oh really. I'm holding the bloody feather of truth, and you believe me. Well, thanks.”

I guess it started in London, the night our dad blew up the British museum.”

“The baboon is driving,” I noted. “Should I be worried?”

“Thank Ra!” She exclaimed. “Yeah, I’m alive.” “No, I almost jumped in after you. I hate the water!”

“Why did adults have to be so thick? They always say “tell the truth,” and when you do, they don’t believe you. What’s the point?”

“I must admit I’m impressed, Sadie. You controlled your magic and controlled Isis. And you, Carter, did well turning into a lizard.”

“That’s Narmer with the spoon,” I guessed. “Angry because the other bloke stole his breakfast cereal?”

“Most of Set’s forces were running towards our boat, screaming and throwing rocks (which tended to fall down and hit them, but no one says demons are bright).

"Great another mystery. I was about to suggest we ram Amos’s head against it and see if that worked.”

The stuff was so thick and rough, it made me wonder if the poor Egyptians had had to use toilet papyrus. If so, no wonder they walked sideways.”

“I looked back, but Bast and Sadie seemed fine. They were still staring at the water as if it were some amazing Internet video.”

. Why would someone display a rock? Aren't there enough of those in the world?”

“Dejardins was so stunned, he momentarily forgot how to speak English. "Ce n'est pas possible. On ne pourrait pas-”

[ottorocket808]

Chapter Two: The Weirdo on Maple Street

I wonder how they coaxed her back to Mikes house it was probably easier than I think because they’re also kids and it’s raining and cold because I’m pretty sure it’s November in Indiana. I’m just gonna say that the lunge clap isn’t the best way to tell if somebody is deaf I’m pretty sure they’re gonna flinch regardless because you lunged at them. 🤣🤣🤣 Modesty don’t exist where she’s from y’all cut her some slack. Wait is that blood? Wait it’s probably from her nose. I don’t even know where the nearest ‘nuthouse’ is why does Lucas? How did Dustin and Lucas both forget that they snuck out the house and therefore telling any adults right now would be a bad idea?

Yo Joyce is talkin about spending $2000-$3000 on missing posters and he’s in a different dimension and this is in 1983 that might as well be $20,000-$30,000 now I know my mom would know my voice anywhere they gotta stop doubting Joyce no matter what interference came down the line.

Hop and these pills are gettin on my nerves you are not House sir sidenote Hops reaction to Jonathan volunteering to go to his dads house felt like dick measuring why wouldn’t he want him to go looking for Will if seeing the cops would mean he runs again which means even longer until he comes home.

Don’t start shit with your little brother when he knows your boyfriend was in your room last night without your parents knowledge or consent Nancy. Sidenote it’ll never not be suspicious to hear your kids say ‘nothing’ together when you ask them a question.

I think Wills been missing for 2 or 3 days at this point where is he getting water? I’m pretty sure this kid is well on his way to dehydration on top of breathing in the toxic atmosphere of The Upside Down Will is a strong little dude.

I think I’ve spotted Els first Eggo that might be why she likes them so much Mike gave her her first one I mean Eggos are good but plain with no syrup no butter and lukewarm and she still likes them more than anything else. El’s hesitation towards telling any adults makes perfect sense after what happened to Benny.

Calling a lady crazy who’s kid just went missing feels a little insensitive I mean what did she do in regular my kid isn’t missing life that would make him say that?

Steve’s hair looks so much better but he’s kind of a dick because he invited Nancy to the ‘party’ not her and Barbara which isn’t really a problem is that he did it in front of her but if you pay attention to his ‘friends’ they aren’t any better in all honesty this is just a double date. Nancy’s little brother hangs out with Jonathan’s little brother all the time you’d think she’d stand up for him just because of that I mean she looks legit guilty listening to the others make fun of him I mean how many times has Jonathan been at her house to pick up Will?

Mike said damn goin to school I have girl who doesn’t think I’m weird at home.

I’m pretty sure this is what older siblings are for sharing music and teaching you the ropes to life and giving advice.

Jonathan also said damn goin to school

Lonnie still hasn’t made an appearance and his youngest son has been seen in 2-3 days he ain’t even called Joyce back and he knows that he’s missing and that there’s been full on search party and he’s been AWOL this whole time.

Where the hell did they find a Pinto? Joyce is kind of a boss she got a phone and a pack of camels for free and two weeks pay in advance.

Am I trippin or did the news call the power company a completely different name? If they did who are The Bad Men supposed to be pretending to be? I wonder why Hop didn’t notice the goop on the wood.

I need to know how them getting 3rd in the science fair was political what was their project? How does she know? It’s almost like she was about to start hyperventilating did she see him in her sleep because as much as the Demogorgon scared her I can’t imagine her looking for him on purpose. Was the baby not strapped into her car seat because Mikes mom got into the house way too fast.

I feel like Hop should be concerned that one of his officers was gullible enough to believe that anybody could survive that drop into cement I mean water.

Man these govt people suck Justice for Benny.

Lonnie doesn’t have a single picture of his kids in that house if he did his girlfriend would know who Jonathan is.

Shout out to Dustin for picking up on keywords like ‘Danger’ and El is racking up favorite character points with the double door slam topped off with the locked door El is in the lead as my favorite 2nd is a three way tie between Joyce Mike and Dustin.

Lonnie won’t be getting father of the year anytime soon but his car is sick 1972 Oldsmobile 442 I ain’t mad at it at all. I don’t know why people in small towns swear that people in the city are more ‘real’ you have bullshitters everywhere Lonnie should know he was fake In Hawkins and the only thing that changed was his address and the car he drives.

Barb wasn’t invited to the ‘party’ (double date) and Nancy knows this Steve said do you wanna come to my house not you guys y’all or any other variation. Nancy begging her to go and using Wills vigil as her suggested excuse says a hell of a lot about her character she knows that it’s only supposed to be the four of them because again this is a double date her making Barb be the 5th wheel so she would feel better sucks.

Mike choking on his milk cause he sees El coming down the stairs followed by Dustin’s ‘spasm is still funny but Nancy using Wills Vigil to sneak to see her boyfriend still rubs me the wrong way.

And that torn piece of El’s gown makes its appearance good eye Mr. Clarke.

The boys use so many words she doesn’t know I wonder how lost in conversation she was in the beginning. Dustin looked so grossed out by the spit swear part and I don’t blame him. El looked super suspicious of what Mike was saying about friends telling each other things that parents don’t know.

Parking 3 blocks away is a little excessive. Barb really should’ve just dropped her off and went home. Nancy should know her best friend well enough to know that parties aren’t her thing. Nancy likes to play stupid but she’s not she should’ve just gone by herself there’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with the guy that you like but dragging your friend along is unnecessary.

Ew Hop wears tighty whiteys wait who is that lady? So I have the subtitles on and they say her name is Sandra still don’t know who she is but at least we got a name.

El’s powers are crazy strong no wonder they want her back so badly she touches the D&D board closes her eyes for a second and knows which piece is Wills. Dustin is in the drama club? I wonder if he is a lighting and sound guy. You can tell that shit just got real to these kids.

Quick question how close do the Byers live to Steve? I mean for Jonathan to hear Carol scream it’s gotta be pretty close maybe Will had to run way farther than I originally thought. Everything about Barb screams ‘I don’t wanna be here’ shorty still has her coat on she looks extra uncomfortable you can tell this isn’t her thing Barb is a better friend than Nancy deserves. She cut her hand trying to shotgun a beer to make Nancy happy and when she goes inside looking for bandages Nancy doesn’t help she stays outside and plays with her not boyfriend and his ‘friends’ There’s a strong ass lesson about peer pressure wrapped around these five. Jonathan has gotta know that this is creepy I mean he’s hiding behind a bush damn near frantically taking pictures of the popular kids having fun how’d he switch so fast from looking for his brother to this weird shit?

This is the 2nd phone Will burnt up tryna call home man they are $30 a piece man we need a better communication attempt. Ask and ye shall receive sidenote I really do like this song I wanna learn to play the intro where is the dog I know the Demogorgon didn’t eat him but he just disappears. I feel bad for Joyce she’s always alone when the weird shit happens because the Demogorgon coming out the wall like that was some scary shit and nobody but us saw it. That’s how you know she ain’t worried about somebody running off with her whip Joyce has the doors unlocked the windows rolled down with the keys in the visor.

I don’t understand why she begged Barb to go to this thing if she was gonna have sex with Steve anyway and then talking about go home how Nancy she’s supposed to be spending the night at your house to help cover the truth about what’s going on. And Barb being half stubborn half a good friend goes down to the pool to wait for her friend to finish losing her virginity so they can go Barb should’ve gone home and ignored Nancy the next day at school. How did Jonathan not hear The Demogorgon growling or Barb scream and he was what 30 ft from the pool?

[screensirenfic]

Black Leather - Chapter 13

Warnings: Aftermath of Sexual Assualt

Sleep had been a bitch all night; which means to say that it’d run away from me nipping and screaming whilst the shadow of Billy had loomed over me all night like a malevolent spectre.

If I had to put a number on it; I’d say I slept maybe four hours, and that was including dad’s untimely interruption, because of course; he had to piss off the only person capable of opening the door from the comfort of her room.

That; and the fact that he was so damn paranoid that we had to have a minimum of three locks on the door at all times, meant that I had to go let him in.

He’d been surprised; of course. Expected me to still be partying it up at Tina’s, three sheets to the wind and with no intention of returning home anytime soon.

Proves how much attention he paid to my drinking habits; if he knew anything about me, he would’ve guessed that Tina’s annual Halloween bash was the last place I’d want to be spending my weekend.

Even with his relentless stream of questions following me back to my room; I had no intention to answer any of them. If he’d just kept his nose out and let me stay home; none of this would’ve happened.

But no; he had to play tough father for one night and expect me to ‘act like a man’, despite his near constant insistence that I was still his little girl.

Hypocrisy never was a good disciplinary tactic, and dad’s idea of parenting more often than not aligned with his training of rookie cops.

Tough love did not sum it up, and I often had to remind him I was his daughter and not a suspect to be interrogated.

If he could just listen to me just once; than maybe I wouldn’t be in this mess with Billy, maybe he wouldn’t have...

No. I couldn’t think of that again; even after I’d sobbed myself to sleep, feeling so much like a stupid little girl that for the first time in nearly ten years; I found myself wanting my mom.

I hadn’t thought about her properly in years; both me and dad actively avoided it to be honest. Too many sour memories; too many late night arguments filled with words we’d both regret.

I missed her; of course, but I’d accepted that she was gone long ago; just like I had with Sara.

Dad had found that harder; his dreams too easily troubled by the things he wished he had said, things he had wished he had done.

I slept easier; the ignorance of my relative youth at the time, a better shield against regret.

Still; there was times in my life that I longed for my mother’s love.

For the sound words of advice and the gentle understanding that was so important between mother and daughter in her blossoming teenage years.

Like your first dance, when she’d take you to pick your dress and braid your hair; telling you you looked so pretty, just like a princess.

My dad bought me a dress; of course, left me traipsing through half of the strip mall to find the right one. But I’d struggled with my hair alone, eventually leaving it in its usual messy curls, because dad said I looked like a proper punk rocker.

I missed her when I first went to the movies with Steve; faking smiles whilst I was quietly terrified, because something had changed between us, and it wasn’t just the six inches he’d managed to grow over the summer whilst he was away at camp.

Dad was terrible with feelings; even worse when they involved boys, so he’d been no help there.

I’d missed just being able to talk to her; to gush about stupid teenage crushes on a boy who’d never be more than my best friend, who still called me beautiful when I’d thrown up in the popcorn bucket, blaming it on menstrual cramps.

I’d missed her more than anything last night, sobbing silently into my pillow, because I was terrified that I might wake my dad up; terrified that he might ask what’s wrong, and I’d have to tell him. I’d have to come clean about the shame that hung over me like a dark cloud; that dripped down my thighs in a guilty shimmer, baring itself for the world to see.

I’d needed her then; the cold comfort of her stroking my hair and telling me it’s gonna be okay, even if we both know it’s not, because she understood.

She understood what it was like to be a girl in this world.

To have all your expectations and worth measured up by what you could fit between your legs.

I’d missed my mom, but she wasn’t coming back, no matter how much I pined for her.

The sunlight seemed especially harsh as it seeped in through the holes of my fraying drapes; my mind reacting as if it had a hangover, despite me having not touched more than a couple of drinks last night.

Part of my mind theorised that my drink might’ve been spiked. At least that would’ve given me a scapegoat for what happened with Billy; and damnit, I was thinking about him again.

I thought that this was meant to be easier in the sober light of day, but apparently I had been wrong about that too.

A large part of me was tempted just to turn over and spend the day in bed, but that would’ve aroused too much of dad’s suspicion and no doubt he’d find out the truth; and the truth was something I was determined to never see the light of day.

So instead I hauled myself out of bed, ever thankful that the ache between my legs had faded, even if my bruises hadn’t.

Those bad boys were looking particularly impressive today, blending into a myriad of violets and indigos that was sure to rival even the most battered of mugging victims.

It was gonna take a hell of a lot of concealer to cover those suckers up, and I wasn’t quite sure I had the patience, nor the supplies to do it.

I suppose I could always wear a sweater, though that would be ridiculously out of character for me and would definitely arouse my dad’s suspicion more than if I’d walked out of my room with a sign around my neck that said “GUILTY”.  

So I elected to plead the fifth to all summons from my self decided prison cell and took the coward’s way out, hiding out in my room until I was risking yet another tardiness slip from Ms McKinley.

I could hear yelling outside my room; El and dad were arguing again, a sound that was strangely reminiscent of myself at her age.

It wasn’t the kid’s fault. She was going stir crazy, being locked up like a dog in a cage; it only made sense that she’d lash out. He couldn’t keep her prisoner here; no matter how much he feared for her safety in the outside world.

She was a kid; for Christ’s sake, not a pet.

She needed to go outside and feel the sun on her face, spend some time with some kids her own age, instead of hiding in the dark watching cartoon reruns till all hours of the night.

But still, try telling my dad that. He wouldn’t hear it. Being seen outside was an unnecessary risk, and taking risks were stupid; “and we are not stupid.”

Give me a fucking break.

A door slammed, and I knew that Eleven had locked herself in her room, judging by the fact my dad hadn’t raced out of the house like a filly in the Kentucky Derby.

Dad was still yelling, but that was to be expected. He hardly ever relented on having the last word; too goddamn stubborn to let it be otherwise.

I emerged from my room, hoping that he’d be so busy with the current focus of his ire that I’d be able to slip out unseen. Good fucking plan that was.

“Oh; look who decided to show her face now!” My dad spat with all the cold spite of a washed up forty year old with two rebellious teenagers.

I cut him some slack and ignored him, knowing this was one grenade he really didn’t wanna pull the pin out of.

Instead I swept over to the kitchen table, snatching my jacket off the chair in a clear display that I was not in the mood for his shit today.

“So you’re brooding too?” He queried; clearly not getting the message that he was walking on thin ice, and my calm demeanour was really beginning to crack under the poking of his jibes.

I snatched my keys up off the tabletop, ignoring him more for his sake than mine, because if I blew; I was gonna go full on Armageddon on this bitch.

“It’s so nice to be surrounded by such lovely teenagers...” He spat, but I really didn’t need to stand around here and listen to his bitching.

He thought dealing with a barely pubescent kid was hard; he should try dealing with a hormonal meathead twice his size who wouldn’t take no as an answer.

So I stormed out of the house, slamming the door in his face in what must’ve been becoming a familiar experience for him, before making my way over to my bike.

I might not be able to outrun my problems, but when I knew I could hit 120 on my Triumph; I sure as hell was gonna try.

———————————————————-

I arrived at school ten minutes earlier than expected, but that was probably due to the three red lights I’d ran on the way over.

I mean; it’s not like I was gonna get arrested. I was the chief’s daughter for Christ’s sake; the most I’d get is a ticket.

My dad would chew me out about it, but I really didn’t care; if he wanted to talk to me about responsibility, he should’ve considered that before he’d forgotten about the thirteen year old waiting alone in our cabin on Halloween whilst he played Magnum half the night.

I’d pulled up in the parking lot, yanking my helmet off and tossing it onto the back of my bike, before marching into school like I was running drills because I was still steaming over how he acted this morning.

The fucking nerve to have a go at me, when he was the one continuously neglecting his parental responsibilities.

I know it wasn’t socially acceptable to hit your dad, but I swear to God...

“Whore...” Sneered a voice, and at first I thought I was hearing things, because someone sure as hell wasn’t saying that to me.

I ignored it, continuing striding through the halls as I made a beeline for my locker.

“Like a fucking hooker...” Another murmur cut through the bustle of the hallway chatter, and this time I knew I wasn’t imagining it.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of Alex Kaplinsky and one of his basketball buds snickering as they walked down the hall, grins and eyes flickering in my direction.

Since when did these dicks grow balls?

Seems like everyone had heard about my eventful night at Tina’s, even the kids who hadn’t been there judging by the nasally snorts coming from Nora Pierson and the rest of the debate team.

And of course, as it was whenever someone who garnered even the slightest amount of respect in this school did something risqué; it was the hot topic of the hour, whispers and giggles following me through the halls.

I tried to ignore it; I really did.

Why should I give a flying fuck what the brain dead populous of Hawkins High thought about my sex life?

It’s not like they didn’t do it anyway; regurgitating wild rumours varying from me to being a downright prude, to me fucking half the cheerleading team, because of course; when a girl says she’d rather gag herself with a spoon than suck you off, she’s gotta be batting for the other team.

The most recent and popular spin of the rumour mill this month would’ve been a recycled story that I was Harrington’s bit on the side for when he got bored of Nancy; something that had been circulating on and off for about three years whenever everyone decided the tantalising thought of the lesbian virgin seemed too far fetched.

That all heated up with the arrival of Billy; creating the teen movie love triangle I never wanted.

Everyone secretly pinned their bets on their favourite, though Billy clearly was the front runner; all testosterone and muscle, and now with a pair of my ruined panties in his belt, Steve really was lagging behind.

I held my head high as I reached the final stretch to my locker; the place I knew I’d come across the majority of first hand witnesses from the party.

“Such a slut...” Hissed a smirking Tina to an equally venomous Ally; both of them staring at me and gossiping like I’d just decided to become a prostitute.

Gone was Tina’s fake smiles; no longer having to commit to the act of gracious host, returning to her former role of cheerleading captain and Hawkins High’s resident bitch.

They were just bitter; angry that with all their skimpy spandex and neon eyeshadow, Billy had still passed over them like they were yesterday’s cafeteria lunch.

Well; fuck ‘em both.

I never cared about the thoughts of Tina or Aly; they both despised me anyway. Forcing fake smiles in front of Steve; only to talk shit about me later.

Fuck Tina and Ally, and fuck anyone else who thought they could judge me.

I’d almost reached my locker; I could see Steve’s ridiculous hair rising above the crowd at the opposite end of the hallway, a clear signifier that my walk of shame was almost over.

“Hey Lola. Got time for another dance partner?”Chirped the voice of Tommy H, and normally I’d be seconds away from gaining myself a collection of molars, but instead I nearly jumped out of my skin, because where the vultures circle; the lions can never be far off.

But lucky or unlucky; I couldn’t decide, it was just Carol and Tommy cackling like the perfect pair of hyenas. I didn’t even say anything in response; fucking weak.

What the fuck was wrong with me? Since when could I be snickered into submission by Tommy H?

Well; since his mullet headed idol decided to make a sideshow of me, that’s when.

Jesus; when would this day be over?

I’d only been in school for less than ten minutes and already I was torn between leaving and never coming back, and burning the place down, or some strange combination of the both.

If I saw Billy Hargrove today; I’m not sure I’d be able to stop myself from knocking him into next week! The slimy fucking bastard!

But I had to hold back; from slaughtering Billy and everyone else who dared snicker at me in the hallways, because I could see Steve clearly now; tall lanky form peering into his locker as if the whole world went straight over his head.

I strode up to my locker and immediately set to work on opening it; happy to let Steve remain in whatever little fantasy filled that pretty head of his. He didn’t need my venom; he’d done enough for me.

“Hopper...” He purred, and without even looking up from my locker, I could sense the smirk on his face; our normal playful banter routine resuming with clockwork regularity.

“Steve; I really don’t have time for this today.” I sighed impatiently; both irritated by his easygoing nature, yet strangely jealous that he could just assume normality with such little effort.

Perhaps it’s true what they say; ignorance is bliss, and judging by the carefree smile on his face, Steve was still completely oblivious to today’s rumour mill.

That, or he’d chosen complete denial and ignored the whole thing entirely; though Steve always seemed too much of a hothead for that.

“Lo; are you alright?” Steve asked, concern dripping from his tone as he looked at me with those big doe eyes.

But of course I wasn’t damn alright. I was wrongfully crowned the new reigning slut of Hawkins High, with a fabricated body count rising into the early twenties; all thanks to Billy Hargrove and my inability to handle even a smidgeon of alcohol.

But of course; I couldn’t tell Steve that.

Not when I risked him getting a quick fire concussion at the hands of my least favourite bad boy.

So instead I slammed my locker door; managing to growl a thoroughly unconvincing “just peachy...” through gritted teeth.

Peachy or not; my locker really didn’t fucking care, refusing to shut itself despite me slamming it with all the force of the five hundred backhand slaps Billy and his cohorts had long been overdue.

“Here, Lo; let me help with that...” Steve offered, reaching across with all the casual chivalry I really didn’t need right now.

What I needed was a twenty pound mallet and for Billy Hargrove to keep his head still for a while, but considering that was as likely as the virgin lesbian rumours coming true; I had to settle with taking my anger out on my locker door.

“I’ve got it.” I insisted, slamming the door with even more force this time; so hard that I’m pretty sure it’d leave a dent. It stayed shut this time.

I then turned to make my way to first period algebra, because I knew if I spent another minute with Steve, I’d start taking my anger out on him; and he really didn’t deserve that.

“Wow! Do think she’s pregnant?!” Snickered Ally to Tina as I passed; her complete obliviousness to anything except  fashion magazines astounding me more than ever.

I shot her a set of daggers, because rumours or not; I still had some amount of respect in this school, and damnit; if I wouldn’t use some of that to remind her where to get off.

Ally and Tina both flinched, and although I’d preferred that they scattered like cockroaches in the sunlight; that would have to do.

Fuck this fucking school, fuck Tina and Aly, fuck Tommy H and Carol; but most of all, Fuck Billy Hargrove!

[gaycrouton]

-Words of Love- Epilogue

Words of Love (27/27) [ There would never be a couple who loved each other like they did.]

Important Note: I wrote this on March 21st, 2018 aka I wrote this right before the finale aired...my optimism is retrospectively painful and contemporarily inaccurate, lolol.

He got to spend sixteen years with his parents, the Van De Kamp’s that is. They never hid the fact he was adopted from him, but they said they didn’t know much about his birth parents; other than they had wanted him, but simply couldn’t keep him. His adoptive parents were wonderful, loving, and everything someone would want from a mother and father. They didn’t understand why he was different than all the other kids, but they did their best. He missed them everyday.

He had never met his birth mother growing up, but he knew he well. It was a part of what made him different; the visions. For as long as he could remember, if he tried hard enough, he could see her. A woman with red hair and melancholy eyes. The same eyes he saw when he looked in the mirror.

When he did meet them, Scully and Mulder, his mother and father, it was too dangerous to stick around. He had to run around for a while, avoid the dangers that had been keeping them apart since the beginning. But those first meetings were enough to leave an impression. For him, they were an enigma, a curious pair that held answers to his life he wanted more than anything to know. For them, he was the manifestation of years of love, he was the physical embodiment of their bond. The face of the future they had spent so long fighting for.

He didn’t know if it was their connection, or if she had powers she didn’t know about. Maybe he wanted something so badly he made it up. One night he just had a vision of her, much like what she must’ve seen when he checked in on her. She didn’t say anything, it was only for a moment, but he knew it was time. He didn’t know why, but he knew it was safe to find them. He just wanted to get to know her better.

He would never mention it to them, but he found it funny that the most cautious couple he had ever met still left their address listed in the White Pages. He just showed up on their door one day. Mulder answered and looked like a man holding a gun in a china shop, he didn’t want to do anything to startle him away. Scully looked like she had been expecting him.

It was awkward at first, how do you talk to someone you know nothing about but share everything with? They bounced back and forth between asking each other questions, nothing too intense, he had heard enough of what he needed to hear at the morgue that fateful night. They were the same type of questions someone would ask on a first date, albeit answered with unabashed honesty. After a while, they asked if he was staying anywhere and he realized he was so eager to come, he hadn’t made any preparations. That guest room was assembled in record time.

The first few weeks were spent with shy trepidation until he realized that he was the one who would have to make the first move. They would never invade his personal space, he could tell they felt like they hadn’t earned it. He would catch them both staring at him when they thought he wasn’t looking; while they were eating, when they would lounge around the living room, while they ran errands, it was always a look of pure fascination. The same type of look someone would give a rose blooming through a crack in the cement, a beautiful miracle, but one you would treat with fragile hands. They enjoyed doing just simple mundane things together, the things they had missed out on for years, things that had just been fantasies. He was sure they thought he was just indulging them, but this meant just as much to him as it did them.

When he did make the first move, it took them by surprise. He and Mulder were sitting at the kitchen table, Mulder reading an online article and sneaking peeks at him over the laptop screen, him reading a comic doing the same. Scully walked in and casually said, “Jackson, I put new sheets on your bed, I hope you don’t mind.”

There was no reason for his action aside from the fact he wanted to. He got up from his seat, walked over, and pulled her into a warm hug. She was significantly shorter than him, so he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and said, “Thank you for everything you do and have ever done for me.” He felt her body initially tense in shock from the embrace before relaxing. At his words, he felt her body shake lightly and wrap her arms tightly around his body. She cried. He didn’t know if she cried for lost time, for thankfulness at what was to come, a combination of both, or something completely different. All he knew was that her tears were contagious, his own ran down his face and into her hair, the streaks down Mulder’s cheeks attested to this fact. It was impossible not to adore this woman, it made him happy he had her genes.

A lot of the time he spent at the house with them after that was filled with going through albums. Hearing them talk about the past was better than any television show he’d ever seen. The center of the story changed a lot, a lot seemed to involve an Aunt he had named Samantha, when he referred to her as that he saw tears in Mulder’s eyes, joy that more than two people in this whole world cared about her passed being an experiment.

There were others that seemed important to the narrative of his life, a bald man named Skinner, for whom they claim to be forever indebted to. A couple of agents who kept the X-Files alive when no one else would, one fought tooth and nail to keep pregnant Scully safe when Mulder was gone, the other sang whale songs to help him sleep at night when he was a baby. They were married now. Some were talked about with unrepentant disdain, a cigarette smoking man with a penchant for playing god. They had gone through so much, and they had the wounds to prove it. No wonder they were inseparable.

That was his favorite part of the time he spent living at their house. You had never seen a couple more in love. He supposed after all the crazy shit they’d been through together, being together was the only time they felt safe, secure, and happy. He was genuinely curious what they were like before meeting each other, he couldn’t picture one functioning without the other. How did it feel finding the person that made you whole?

After a few years, he found a woman who did that for him. He tried his best to emulate the way Mulder treated Scully. He himself hadn’t been the best with girlfriends in the past, but he was determined to be better. When he asked Mulder for advice, received such thoughtful, thorough answers. Anytime he asked anything ‘fatherly’ from Mulder, it was treated with the utmost importance. It was amusing to him that Mulder felt inadequate to give an answer to how to have a successful relationship. He simply said everyday he just tried to make sure Scully was comfortable, safe, and happy. Sometimes he felt like he was failing, but Scully put up with him anyhow.

When things started getting serious with his now-wife, he moved out of their house into his own place just ten minutes away. It was bittersweet, but they talked on the phone on a near daily basis. The sense of routine and normalcy in life was jarring to all three of them, but more than welcome. They missed the beginning of his life, but they more than compensated for the rest of it. They attended everything from his wedding to the birth of his twins. He named them Melissa and Samantha. He didn’t know if Scully and Mulder would ever run out of tears.

The milestones they missed with him, they got to experience through their grandchildren. People they never thought would exist in their wildest dreams. Mulder played countless games of baseball with them and he blamed Scully for his daughters becoming obsessed with science. He knew from the stories that all they ever wanted was a family, and you’d never see a couple more grateful for what they have.

He spent nearly twenty years without them, but he was so glad he got to spend thirty years with them. Despite the long running joke about immortality that always went over his head, Scully went first. It was peaceful, in her sleep, a blessing and something that would never had been anticipated during her years at the FBI. The next day Mulder went in the same way. That’s the way it was meant to be.

People called it a phenomenon, the odds of that happening were one in a million. Those people obviously didn’t know them very well. How could Mulder continue when the light of his life was gone, his body gave out without her. He always said he would follow her no matter what.

He and his wife moved into their house, everything had been left to him and the girls in the will. He buried them in the field on their land. Scully had mentioned a company that buried people in a way that allowed their bodies to decompose in a way to nourish trees. It just seemed like the right thing to do. He buried them side by side and planted a tree. Call him sentimental, but he wanted another manifestation of their love to grow past his own life span. As the years went by, the tree grew and flourished, it grew in an obscure way that almost looked like a hand reaching out of the ground. He knew it was Mulder and Scully saying hi.

He spent countless nights sitting on the porch, just like he had seen them do for countless decades. Every night he looked out into the sky and watched the stars, his parents words ringing in his ears, “Who says they aren’t souls? Traveling through time as starlight.” He didn’t know if it was true, but he wanted to believe.

No matter what, he was positive they were together, somewhere, finding the truth they spent their lives seeking.

[kachinnate]

as you all know, the only venting i ever post on here is reblogged subtle depression feels *sparkle emoji* or an explosion of all the shit that’s happened to me like every three months because i cannot take Any More under a read more 

the three month deadline has come now 

triggers below, check the tags please

this year has unabashedly been the worst year of my life. 

and that sounds dramatic, and i know i could have it worse, and maybe i’m being selfish because literally all the things that have happened this year have been all inner turmoils and i’ve literally had years where my family went through financial struggles + death and stuff and even that doesn’t compare to the emotional toll i’ve went through this year but it’s just. bad. it’s so bad. 

i don’t know how or why but my depression seemed to just fucking turn itself up 8 notches after january hit to the point where i had to tell my dad that i needed medical help lmao... and i got my first diagnosis, my first perscription.. and it didn’t work, so they upped the dosage, and that didn’t work, so now i’m on a new medicine which has a starting dosage of 150mg, and my doctor told me if this one didn’t work she’s going to refer me to a psychiatrist, and i must have looked so broken and on the verge of tears when she said this because she immediately had to reassure me that this wasn’t a failure on my own part, which logically makes sense right, but at the same time it’s just so?? fucking disheartening?? after months of my upper dosage not working i just cold turkeyed them until my next appointment which probably wasn’t the Best Thing because shortly following that i realized that i wanted to k*ll mys*lf more in a two week period than i’d have ever in my entire life, and i thought that suicide idealization was an issue i struggled with since forever, but boy howdy was i wrong because these past couple of weeks have been sooooooo fuckin bad lmao. like i struggle opening my medicine because sometimes i dump like all of it out and just. look at it. in my hand. i never actually do it because i’m way too scared of having a seizure or my dad doing something stupid if i were dead but what if. what if what if what if. it’s more of an intrusive thought than me planning on it, but. what if. my new medication has a specific warning that it’s dangerous for overdoses which is. genuinely kind of scary. what if. 

i realized that i don’t have anyone friendwise irl anymore over the course of this school year. to save you and myself the retelling of the most bullshit high school drama i’ve ever been apart of, i realized that all my friends in my Group (tm) couldn’t care any less about me than they already do. i’ve always adored them and loved them with all of my being, and yeah i am not endowed to their appreciation back i guess, but watching them slowly and gradually ditch me and exclude me and ignore me and go out of their way to show me that they don’t care about my existence has been the biggest fucking emotional blow. people outside of this group told me that they were awful people and bad for me and so incredibly toxic and guess what? i defended them and now the fact that i was wrong makes me want to tear my fucking guts out. i spent three whole years with these group of people only for them to decide in the past six months that i’m not worth it. i feel so fucking empty. one of those people was supposed to be my best friend of nine years. and i still fucking love him despite all of that, y’know? i love all of them even though they have made me sob every night over the latter course of a school year and feel unsafe in a club that i was once prominent in and that’s so bullshit and so unfair but it’s fine it’s whatever. and like, i should have seen it coming, because the build up was them treating me so fucking badly. it’s an ongoing joke that despite being rank 1 in my class, i’m.. an idiot? like it’s a joke that haha i’m short and haha i’m stupid and haha i can’t interact with people and i have debilitating anxiety and i make mistakes all the time and i’m the ditzy lesbian of our friend group, even when i express that i hate being called stupid but they just insist that they’re joking with me and that i’m too sensitive. i can count on one hand the amount of times they picked at me for my eating habits even though at least one of them knew i have a pretty bad ED. they picked and picked and picked at me and then when we have our first fight they all immediately fucking drop me, and i still love them and i still try to fix everything but suddenly i’m not worth the effort anymore. it’s draining. i’m so, so tired. outside of the toxic group(tm), anyone that was close to me as i friend (or otherwise) i ended up pushing away or drifting away from or fucking up the relationship on my own, and even if it’s ‘Okay’ on objective terms, to know that i fucked up something that was once really really nice and now i can’t even feel comfortable opening up a message first because i know i’ll get left on read or, even worse, have to read a one-sided, hardly caring/pitying conversation makes me just not want to bother at all. it’s so hard to reach out to the few people i know do kinda sorta care for me, but the fact that i’ve been absent for this long? it makes the few relationships i have strained and forced so i can’t even bring myself to put myself out there knowing that it’s only going to make me feel worse

working makes me?? so miserable ????? i worked at pizza hut up until the beginning of june and while i was good at it and i had friends there, i didn’t get paid enough so i had to quit. i started a new job. i fucking hate it. i actively dread going there. people refuse to train me or are incredibly fucking disrespectful/unfriendly to me if i ask for help or just don’t know how to do something. i feel bad ranting about it because every single person i’ve asked for advice from just says that i’ll get used to it or it’s in my head, which.... regardless of whether or not it is, making me feel like it’s my fault or that i’m being crazy makes me feel sooo fucking sick and like i’m actually insane. i heard it enough from my friends this year. i’m so tired of being blamed for things happening that, while they might be worsened by the anxiety in my head, it isn’t JUST THAT. sometimes things are just BAD but they’re not because I’M making them seem bad, they genuinely just are!!!! not everything is in my head !!!!! things can be upsetting with it being solely because i’m fucking anxious every moment of every fucking day !!!!! regardless i need money so i can’t quit but goddammit i hate every minute i’m not at my house. 

all in all, i just feel so, so fucking alone. i have friends on here, and i’m so thankful for them - i’m so grateful to every lovely message i’ve gotten on anon and i’m so thankful for my buds on discord and i’m so thankful for streams and my stream team and i’m so thankful for people who follow me for musicals or art and actively talk to me about them - but it’s just.. here. when i log off and step back from my computer, i’m just immediately fucking alone again. if i were to disappear one day, no one would know what happened to me or where i went, and eventually no one would even care, given that anyone even noticed my absence to begin with. i’m so replaceable. i’m literally just another fucking face on here. another cutesy musical blog ran by a very, very fucking dysfunction kid

anytime i’m shown any shred of kindness, i just. start sobbing. like i cannot even interact like a person, or hell, like the person i was a year ago. this girl i’d been talking to momentarily told me that for as much as i’m there for other people, i need someone that i can jsut lean on and have care about me, and like. i cried. so much. when was the last time i had that? when was the last time i just had someone, anyone just to be here for me? and again, not saying it in a way like i deserve that or am entitled to that, but god fucking damnit i haven’t just rant on and on or spilled my feelings to someone without worrying that they’d get upset with me or deflect it back onto themselves in so, so long. i just want someone to listen. i just want someone to care. 

and it’s who i try to be, all the time. the person that cares, the person that listens, and that just might be part of the problem. i say this all the time, and it’s a mantra and probably one of the main highlighted points that comes with my depression: i put so, so much out, so much energy and love and time, and i get almost nothing back. and it takes suuuuch a fucking toll. in such, it causes me to retreat and suddenly just cut people off or distance myself because i’m scared of letting myself get hurt again because the emotional turmoil i go through genuinely, genuinely almost fucking kills me every time. when that whole thing happened with my friend group, i went days without eating and just. wouldn’t talk. wouldn’t do anything other than school. because school is my safety, i can always rely on school, school will always be there - so i threw myself in school and overworked myself and overmaxed my credit hours and like. if i didn’t have that, if i didn’t have my classes, i really don’t know if i’d be here right now. and it sounds dramatic and i’m sorry, i hate it too, but it’s just the fucking truth.  but - yeah again, i’m the person that’s always there. that’s why i never fucking rant like this on here. i don’t want to be triggering, and i don’t want to cause people distress, and i want people who are having a hard time to see my blog and maybe feel a little bit better and feel happy and have fun. but in the end, this is the only place i have to scream out into the void because i genuinely don’t have a space to do that in real life anymore. nothing. there’s nothing else. 

i’ve always said that when i go to college, i’m just going to do a hard-reset and change up everything. reinvent myself. but sometimes i really don’t see myself getting out of this year alive, or at the very least in one piece. i’m already fucked in so many regards. i’m predestined to be an alcoholic. my brain is actively trying to fucking detonate itself. i’ve never been in love, and sometimes i worry that i never will be. i cry and cry and cry out, but i can’t get help. my solutions to problems is just working until i forget or sleeping until i forget or just finding an alternate way to fucking forget. everything that i’m looking forward to is so incredibly temporary or so short lived or so pathetically small in the grand scheme of things. i have to stay alive to see my AP scores on july 5th. i have to stay alive because i promised my friends i’d stream on this day. i have to stay alive because i promised addie i’d go see this show with her in september. but it’s not for me. it’s never for fucking me. i couldn’t care less. 

i’m not going to ever kill myself because i’m too scared of the pain or the symptoms that i’ll feel right up to it. but otherwise, i really don’t know why else i’m obligated to stay here. 

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title : The things you fight for

Author : @serahne​

For : @freakysandra1995​

Rating/Warning : some angsty moments, but nothing that someone into Danganronpa couldn’t bear ( 🐻 )  in my opinion. Komaeda and Hinata are a bit of a mess, but they are so entertaining.

Prompt : “Making the other jealous”

Author’s note : It’s finally out. I wrote this in a couple of days, but I still wanted to write something good for you. The prompt I’ve picked amongst your suggestion is interesting because it really struck me as really OOC at first for both Komaeda and Hinata... and then I started to enjoy the idea of Pining!Hinata, so here we are.

The fic also includes some Hinata/Koizumi friendship, because they are my weakness, and there is no way Hinata would get his shits together without her anyway.

As she was one of the very few sane person on the island, Hinata actually enjoyed Koizumi’s presence. Sure, she could be bossy, had a very strict idea on the place the boys should have - and a very vague one on girl’s beside ‘in charge of everything’ - and could fret over things of no importance, but she was also a trustworthy friend, a great listener and she knew exactly how long a tea bag needed to dip in the water to get a perfect flavour.

It was a bit embarrassing that even after going through brain surgery to enhance his abilities or whatever was on this paper he had be asked to sign once - without being given enough time to read the small characters at the bottom of the page about completely wiping out his personality, of course - he was still unable to get it right. No matter what, his tea always ended up undrinkable. Go figure.

But over anything else, Koizumi was good at giving advice. What’s more, she loved giving advice, even when others didn’t ask for them.

“You seem down, Hinata.” She said with a concerned expression, as they were both seated in the restaurant. “Did you sleep well ?””

Hinata shrugged. There was always someone making noise on the island. Unlike what happened in the simulation, no one cared about going to sleep early and locking their door tightly. And even when one of them wasn’t wandering around the island, the agents of Future Foundation were like a swarm of bees, restlessly buzzing through the night.

“It’s fine, I just… urgh. I need an advice.” He admitted.

Koizumi offered him a self-satisfied smile. Of course you do, her smile seemed to say, and despite Hinata’s sudden urge to be purposely unpleasant, he chose to bit his tongue instead. After all, he did need an advice.

“I’ll help you if I can,” she replied. “What’s the trouble ?”

“Boys.” He sighed before sipping his tea - still burning, ouch - and feeling like he might be quoting a random chick movie.

He knew his friend would appreciate it. And indeed, Koizumi huffed in amusement.

“What a surprise, but you’ll have to be more precise. Are you referring to Nidai punching a hole in a tree at the beach ? Or to Souda being caught by Togami building what seems to be a turbo-nuclear reactor, though he swears it wasn’t his intent ? Or… are you talking about Hanamura asking Sonia to be judge at a dick-measuring contest ?”

Hinata almost choked on his saliva.

“Hanamura did what ?” Koizumi looked at him with a blazé look. See what I have to go through everyday ? she seemed to say. Hinata shook his head. “Heh, do you want me to talk to him or something ?

“Oh, no. I already firmly explained to him that he was to stop his harassment. I might have let it slip that Sonia has diplomatic immunity in 187 countries, and that she is free to murder him anytime she sees fit.” Her eyes shone with amusement. “Oh, I had the help of Komaeda too. May the fear he inspires to Hanamura never fade !”

She emptied her cup of tea, her smile never leaving her lips. Hinata took note to go and see Hanamura at some point in the day, just to see if the guy was still alive. There was no way Koizumi would be that giddy over a simple… explanation. Even a firm one. And even with Komaeda scaring Hanamura as a bonus.

“Well, okay then.” Hinata took a deep breath to give himself some courage. “I wanted to talk to you about him.”

“Hanamura ?”

“Komaeda.”

“Oh.” Koizumi sighed. She was clearly taken aback, but to her credit she did her best to pretend that nothing had caught her off-guard. “I thought you were getting along pretty well. I mean. Considering the… circumstances.”

Hinata grimaced. “We are ? Kind of ?” They had an entire list of banned subject that they did their best to avoid whenever they were talking together, but beside that, they got along. “It’s complicated, I guess.”

Koizumi hummed quietly, waiting for Hinata to spill the beans. Hinata frowned.

“Do... hm... do you think he likes me ?” He asked, almost more to himself than for her.

Koizumi froze for a second.

“... define ‘like’ ?”

Hinata rolled his eyes at Koizumi’s cautious behaviour.

“You know what I mean ! I mean like-like.” He was being ridiculous, but why was Koizumi playing stupid right now ? “You know. Do you think he is into me ? I mean we spend a lot of time together, and he always says he is flattered that we hang out so much together, and yesterday he said he liked my smile and…”

“Wow, slow down !” Koizumi cut him off, eyes wide. “Oh my god, how long have you been keeping that inside ?”

“... a while ?”

He just didn’t want to bother anyone with feelings he wasn’t sure of. Everyone has been pretty understanding with his obsession of bringing Komaeda back from his coma, and no one had really questioned that he was seeking his presence afterward. No one except Komaeda, that was. And he wasn’t exactly the best person to talk to about the feelings Hinata had for him, right ? Anyway, it was a freaking mess, and there wasn’t a day Hinata didn’t want to punch himself for getting a weird crush on Komaeda of all people.

Koizumi’s eyebrows had disappeared under her bangs, and Hinata couldn’t blame her.

“Well, that’s… something.” She said quietly.

“You think it’s a terrible idea.” Hinata translated.

To his surprise, Koizumi shook her head.

“Not… exactly ? It makes sense, in some ways. It explains a lot of things. I’m just not really sure what you expect me to tell you. From my point of view, Komaeda is attracted to you. Maybe he actually like-like you, as you said. It’s just… I don’t know how far you are in your ‘forgiveness process’. Maybe it would be better to wait ?”

Hinata fought the urge to scream. He had spent two freaking hours with a Future Foundation’s therapist talking about the forgiveness process - a lot of bullshit in his opinion. He was supposed to forgive everyone. Himself, Hope’s Peak, his parents, the others ex-remnants of Despair, Junko-fucking-Enoshima.

Yeah, sure, tell yourself that I’m not going to burn with hatred for her until I die.

“I forgave him.” He simply replied. “Of course I forgave him.”

Koizumi tilted her head on the side.

“And he forgave you ?”

“What do you mean, he forgave me ?” Hinata huffed indignantly. “He tried to murder me.”

Koizumi fell quiet, and looked at her hands. Suddenly, her face was a lot somber.

“Believe me Hinata, it’s a lot easier to forgive people for being wrong than for being right.”

Hinata grimaced. Koizumi’s relationship with Pekoyama and Kuzuryuu hadn’t improved since they had woken up, almost four months ago. Kuzuryuu was just eaten alive by his guilt toward Pekoyama and couldn’t be bothered dealing with anything else. Pekoyama wasn’t exactly the kind to ask - or to grant - any kind of forgiveness.

Hinata wondered how well her therapy sessions could go, forgiveness process and all.

“Do you want to talk about it ?” He asked.

Koizumi shook her head.

“There is nothing to talk about.” She replied, looking more fragile than usual. “It’s a sucky situation. I’ll… try to deal with it eventually. One day.”

Hinata didn’t say anything but reached for her hand and squeezed it between his fingers. She gave him a little smile in return.

He was about to say something about how friendship should go both ways, when the door of the restaurant opened. There, standing in the door frame, was Komaeda, who looked like he had just woken up even though it was past eleven o’clock already. He looked at them, blinking like an owl, and Hinata felt his cheeks warm up under the other’s gaze.

Well, at least he didn’t enter five minutes before.

“Hey,” he said, a bit lamely. “Are you okay ?”

Komaeda nodded, but his eyes focused on a spot on the table, and confusion painted his face. Hinata followed his gaze, and noticed… that he was staring at Hinata and Koizumi’s hands, still intertwined after their little discussion.

“Er...” Hinata took back his hand and Koizumi didn’t make any comment, happy to observe the scene with interest. It was a bit weird now that she knew, thought Hinata. “Right. Do you want to go and eat something on the beach, Komaeda ? Koizumi and I just finished our… hm… talk.”

“We were talking about the cleaning of the pool !” Koizumi added with a smile. “I’m counting on you too, Komaeda ! So no running away.”

Whatever the weird mood has been, it was gone, and Komaeda smiled a bit, always glad to help. If there was one person on this island who wouldn’t run away from chores, it was Komaeda.

“Of course, I trust your sense of organization !” He bowed his head just a bit, then turned toward Hinata. “I’m going to get a mat from my cabin if we spend some time at the beach, Hinata. You can finish your discussion with Koizumi that way !”

A second later, he was gone, leaving a frowning Hinata and a smiling Koizumi behind him.

“Well, that settles it, don’t you think ?” She asked, looking like a cat who had just found a cream jar.

Hinata didn’t follow.

“What do you mean ?”

“Oh come on, Hinata. You saw his expression when he noticed our hands. He was clearly jealous !” Koizumi replied. “Actually, I’m surprised I didn’t think about it sooner. Seeing if he is jealous when you get close to other people is a good indicative, you know ?”

“Right,” Hinata said. “I don’t know, he was a bit weird but… jealous ? You’re sure ?”

Koizumi shrugged at the question.

“I mean, if you don’t believe me, you can try again, you know. See how he reacts when you compliment other people ? You could try to… let’s see, compliment Sonia on the way she wears her hair ?”

Hinata narrowed his eyes.

“What ?” He said. “That doesn’t sound like something someone interested in her would say. That just sounds very gay.”

Koizumi gave him a flat look, and he eventually gave in.

“Fine, fine. I’ll try, maybe. Thanks for the advice. I guess.” He sighed. He looked at the clock on the wall, and grimaced when he noticed that time was flying fast. “I have to go, see you later ?”

Koizumi waved at him.

“Run, loverboy !”

*

So Hinata tried to follow Koizumi’s advice. While they were eating on the beach, enjoying the warm weather of the island, Hinata managed to mention more or less naturally how pretty Sonia’s hair were on this beautiful morning.

Komaeda looked thoughtful when he answered.

“This is very good news. I’ve heard that when she woke up with short hair, it was difficult for her. Of course, I wasn’t awake yet, so it’s just rumors I’ve heard but… she seems to give a lot of important to her hair.”

His voice was somehow disapproving, but Hinata didn’t mind.

He even smiled a bit. It was true. Sonia had tried to not let the way her body had been mutilated during the events following the Tragedy get to her. Anytime someone expressed compassion about it, she brushed it off, telling that at least she hasn’t lost an eye or a hand. Scars didn’t hurt that much, hair could grow again.

He looked at Komaeda from the corner of his eyes. Sonia’s hair were pretty amazing, but his hair was a mess. Without thinking, Hinata reached out and tuck a strand of white, dry hair behind the other’s ear. Komaeda’s eyes opened wide and he turned toward him, surprised.

“Hinata… ?”

Hinata moved his hand away from Komaeda’s face, as quickly as if he has been burnt.

“Sorry, I just… you had some sand in your hair ?” He tried to cover it up as best as he could. “It just bothered me. I should have warned you.”

“Oh.”

“And uh… Your hair is pretty damaged, you know ? I’m sure we could find you some shampoo if you want.” Hinata added, because it was true after all. Future Foundation entertained some stupid demands from them, so they could be bothered with hair product.

Komaeda didn’t seem to care.

“This is very kind, Hinata.” He replied with a smile. “But I’m alright, really. Unlike our princess, I don’t give a lot of importance to my hair.”

“I’d say that you don’t give a lot of importance to you, in general,” Hinata replied.

For a moment, Komaeda stayed quiet, and turned toward the sea, while Hinata did the same. The water was so beautiful, with the sunlight reflected in the water. Sometimes, Hinata wondered how he could have believed that the Neo World Program was real. Now that he was out and looking at the real thing, he didn’t think he could ever be fooled again.

“I…” Komaeda said slowly without looking at Hinata. “I suppose you’re right.”

Then the mood was a bit killed, and he didn’t feel like bringing up Sonia’s hair again, or any part of her. They just both stayed side by side, not looking at each other but - at least in Hinata’s case - extremely aware of the other’s presence. At some point, Hinata took a deep breath and, heart beating like crazy, he scooted a bit to his left, until his shoulder grazed Komaeda’s. He felt the other tense for a second… and then slowly relax.

Hinata was really glad Komaeda couldn’t see his face at this moment. It could seem stupid and, really, it was, but he was just as breathless and his heart was beating just as fast as after the morning runs he did, sometimes, with Nidai and Owari.

*

The next time he tried to make Komaeda jealous didn’t work either. It was his fault for underestimating his opponent, he supposed.

“You know, I think Kuzuryuu can be pretty sweet when he wants to be.” He said as they were browsing through the books in the library. “He might seem rough on the edges, but he really cares, you know ? He told me we were bonded for life and that I wasn’t allowed to die.”

Komaeda smiled politely at that, and stood on his toes to grab a book on a shelf that was just slightly too high for Hinata to reach. Hinata couldn’t help but glower at him, Komaeda’s smile turning smug when he noticed Hinata’s annoyance.

“Do you need any help ?”

“No.”

Komaeda chuckled behind the book cover but didn’t press the matter.

“Alright, alright. As for Kuzuryuu, I think the term used is tsundere.” He replied. “You should cherish this kind of bond, Hinata. I’m sure anyone would be honored to be bonded to the head of a yakuza family that way.”

Hinata scratched the back of his head.

“I… suppose it’s true. The words just sounded so romantic, when he said them, you know ?”

Komaeda fell silent and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Yeah, I wasn’t exactly subtle. And yet, it was so hard to decipher what Komaeda was thinking. Fine, Kamukura hadn’t left him the ability to make good tea, but basic social skills were too much to ask ?

“Hinata... “ Komaeda said slowly. “Are you interested in Kuzuryuu ?”

“What ? No, I…” Hinata wasn’t sure what to say once he was confronted to his stupid plan. He couldn’t say that he liked Kuzuryuu like that, right ? “I just thought it was funny, that’s all. In a cute way. Or cute in a funny way, whatever.”

Komaeda processed his words for a few second, then his entire body relaxed.

It has to mean something, right ? Hinata thought with certainty. Why would he be relieved to know that I’m not interested in Kuzuryuu ?

“This is a good thing,” Komaeda said. “While you can be very charming, Hinata, I’m afraid that it wouldn’t be enough, since Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama have a very close relationship. If you had to fight for love, it would be better if your rival wasn’t someone who knew thirty-three ways to kill a man, just as a piece of advice.”

Thirty-th… Hinata felt cold sweat running on his forehead. Not saying that he was into Kuzuryuu had been the good option then. The problem was that now he had no idea if Komaeda was relieved because of his own feelings for Hinata or because he was worried Hinata would be turned into a kebab by Pekoyama.

“Heh, don’t worry about that, I’m safe from her,” he replied with a laugh.

Komaeda smiled, then went back to read his book - some kind of romantic bullcrap that Hinata enjoyed to make fun of sometimes. Hinata threw a look at the book he wanted - just slightly out of reach. His pride refused to let him ask for Komaeda’s help, and he went to get a chair instead.

He climbed it, and he had no problem reaching the book. He was about to get down when…

CRACK !!!

“Hajime !”

At the last second, he felt Komaeda’s arms trying to save him from the fall, but his weight threw them both on the floor, Hinata landing painfully on Komaeda’s chest and arm - his real one, at that. The white-haired boy let out a choked mewl when his wrist got twisted, and Hinata grimaced at the sound.

Still on top of Komaeda, he did his best to support his own weight with his arms, and managed to get enough distance to see the extent of the damages. Komaeda wasn’t crying, but he was clearly in pain, holding his wrist and gritting his teeth.

“Shit,” Hinata grimaced, feeling guilt settle in his stomach like an heavy rock. ���Shit, I’m so sorry, I think your wrist is broken…”

Komaeda nodded, and looked at his other hand, the robotic one. A weak smile bloomed on his lips. When he talked, it was hard to not notice in how much pain he was.”

“I’m glad,” he hiccuped, “that I didn’t damage your work at least. I’m pretty damn lucky, right ?”

Shut up, wanted to say Hinata, but that would have be mean considering the situation.

“Yeah, you are. I… I’ll help you stand up, alright ? I don’t think I can be of any help I…”

No tea-making abilities, no social skills, and no medical skills either, hum ?

“... we’ll go and find someone from Future Foundation.”

Komaeda put his robotic arm on Hinata’s to stop him.

“Tsumiki is fine. I trust her.”

Hinata was taken aback a few seconds. “I trust her” just didn’t seem like the kind of things Komaeda would say about anyone. And as far as he was concerned, he liked the nurse a lot but wouldn’t trust her with his health even if she was the last person with medical training on earth.

Still, if Komaeda trusted her...

Quite ironic, but while Hinata had tried to make Komaeda jealous by talking about Kuzuryuu’s ‘romantic’ speech to him, he was the one who left the library with a head full of conflicted feelings.

You trust her, you trust her.

And me, do you trust me ? Do you like me ? Would you fight for me ?

*

Five days later, Hinata was pissed. At Komaeda. For a change.

“What do you mean you lied to Tsumiki for me ?” He exploded. “Why would you do that ?”

Komaeda was sitting on his bed, inside his cabin. With his bandaged wrist, he looked pitiful, but that didn’t stop Hinata’s fury.

“It was unnecessary, Hinata !” Komaeda explained to him, having the audacity to talk to him as if he was an idiot. “No one needed to know that you were there with me, what difference would that make ?”

“I wasn’t just with you ! You fell because of me !” Hinata hissed in return. “Why are you acting as if we are in some kind of toxic mess of a relationship ! I’m feeling guilty, but I don’t need you to cover up for me, okay ? I’m an adult who is trying to get his shits together, no matter how hard it can be !”

Komaeda lowered his eyes to the ground, face cold and closed. Hinata sighed : when the other acted that way, there was nothing he could do to change it. He felt a wave of powerlessness roll over him and closed his eyes.

My, my, what a situation he was in.

“I’m sorry.” He suddenly heard.

Surprised, he opened his eyes, and looked at Komaeda. His eyes were strangely intense, shining with a determination that he had rarely seen before.

Well, except for when this time in the simulation when Komaeda had come to his room before he bombed the hotel’s lobby. His eyes have been shining a lot too, then. Even with how stressed Hinata was, he had still noticed them.

“It’s fine,” Hinata replied, feeling exhausted. “I’m used to it, am I not ? I’m just… I just wish I knew why you’ve done it ?”

Silence. And then.

“I’m sorry.” Komaeda said again.

“Yeah, you said that already.”

Komaeda shook his head.

“No. I’m sorry for trying to kill everyone back in the simulation. I was wrong. I was an idiot. I was fighting for a cause that wasn’t right. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m sorry for killing Nanami, too. I never intended to, but it was my fault.”

Time stopped. Hinata froze, and even stopped breathing. Even his heartbeat turned into a low lullaby, as if it understood how important this moment was.

Komaeda still wasn’t looking at him. The words have come out without an hesitation, as if they had been maturing inside of him all these months since they had left the simulation. Hinata wet his lips, knowing that next words had to be his, and had to be good.

“I forgive you,” he said, and he was almost surprised when he realized that he meant it.

Komaeda stared at him.

“Why ?”

Hinata shrugged.

“I just do.”

Komaeda was clearly frustrated and unsatisfied by the answer. His eyes were looking for something that Hinata knew he wouldn’t find. There was no reason to Hinata’s forgiveness. Maybe the forgiveness process had followed its course, maybe he had just decided that hating Komaeda for what had happened was too pointless and too tiring, maybe he was just happy with where they were now, no matter how awful their situation and their past-actions were, and that he selfishly couldn’t see how Komaeda’s actions had hurt him in the end.

Maybe he was just an idiot with a crush.

“I’m sorry too,” Hinata said finally, because it had been on his mind for a while. “For not being who you thought I was. For disappointing you. Not levelling up to the image that you had of me in your head.”

Komaeda frowned, but didn’t make any sarcastic remark either.

“I… forgive you.” He eventually said.

And Hinata hoped that his forgiveness was also a bit selfish, and that at the end of the day, he didn’t mind who Hinata really was.

“What about Nanami ?” Komaeda asked quietly. “I killed her.”

Not really, Hinata wanted to say.

“It was the hardest to forgive,” he admitted. “At first I felt like I was betraying her memory by forgiving you. No wait… I felt like my hatred kept her alive, in some twisted, sick way. At least inside of me. Urgh, I’m not making any sense, do I ?”

Komaeda shook his head, looking very serious.

“You don’t realize how much you are.”

Hinata took a deep breath.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

They both fell silent, the atmosphere between them finally pleasant, and comfortable, and Hinata didn’t feel like he had ever felt more connected with someone in his life. It was a bit terrifying, in a way. He hoped Komaeda felt the same way.

“You know,” he said, “I’m more angry at Naegi and the others, at the end. I’m angry because they made me care for someone who didn’t exist. How cruel is that ?”

Komaeda looked at him strangely.

“You did like Nanami.”

It wasn’t a question. Hinata remembered how Komaeda had almost asked him the same question, back in the library, when he had tried to make Komaeda jealous of Kuzuryuu. He had a crazy opportunity there : he could admit having romantic feelings for Nanami, and it might push Komaeda to do something in return.

But…

After their discussion he didn’t want to. No more manipulation. No more lies. No more mind games. It’s not like they had been very successful, anyway.

“A bit, I guess. She made things look very easy.” He smiled, nostalgic. “Sometimes I wish things were easier and I wish she was there. I… I talk to her sometimes. I imagine what she would say, and I make up entire dialogues in my head.”

He looked up toward Komaeda, who was just listening to him patiently.

“I’m just really angry at Future Foundation, and Naegi, and everyone who made me believe that Nanami existed and that things could be easy after everything we went through,” he said. “I know it sucks, my therapist wouldn’t be proud of me, she is always talking about forgiving everyone.”

“Oh ?” Komaeda replied, perking up. “Mine too, actually. She tried to make me forgive Enoshima.”

Hinata grinned. Komaeda sounded so offended.

“Did you ?” He asked.

Komaeda looked at Hinata, very seriously.

“The bitch can rot in hell until the the next Apocalypse.”

Hinata collapsed on the bed, his body shaken by a laughter that he couldn’t stop. Tears at the corner of his eyes, his belly aching, curling on Komaeda’s bed as its owner looked very unamused by his sudden joy, Hinata didn’t remember when he had ever felt that light.

*

“I’m giving up !” Hinata announced proudly when he finally managed to find Koizumi, who was hanging out by herself in the lobby, in the middle of the coats that everyone else had brought for the party.

The party was for Mioda’s birthday. She was twenty-three, and had organized the biggest event possible, with music - and private concert - drinks, dancefloor, games… it was a bit too much for Hinata who, after being squeezed in a almost-lethal hug by the birthday girl, hoped to find for some quiet place.

“Giving up ?” Koizumi said as Hinata sat next to her. “I’m not sure what you are giving up exactly, but you seem really happy about it.”

Hinata took a sip from his drink and probably made a face - he didn’t know who had dosed these stuff, but they shouldn’t be allowed to next time - because Koizumi smirked at him. Hinata stuck out his tongue in return.

Alright, maybe he was a bit tipsy. Just a tiny little bit.

“This stuff with Komaeda,” he said. “Making him jealous. It doesn’t work. It sucks.”

“Of course it does. I didn’t know you were still on it. I was sure that the guy was into you since that time in the restaurant.” She stifled a laugh. “But I’m proud of you for coming to this conclusion alone, after two months, and with three or four drinks gone already. So, what’s the plan, now ?”

Hinata felt pretty sleepy. It was also warm and cosy in the lobby. He leaned his head against Koizumi’s shoulder, who didn’t seem very happy about that.

“I’m warning you, if you vomit on my dress, you are cleaning it up ! And it doesn’t go to the machine, so have fun with that !”

Hinata replied something like ‘I don’t vomit, I’m awesome’, before remembering what Koizumi had asked him before.

“I decided to be friend with him,” he mumbled. “I didn’t think I could, but that sounds great. Komaeda is great. I can be friend a with him for a while. Then we can kiss and stuff.”

Koizumi pat his back awkwardly.

“If you say so. That said, I’m starting to think that you are not as hopeless as I thought you were. To see you learn is kinda moving, you know ? I feel like I’m making the world a better place, one poor soul at the time.”

“I feel like you are insulting me.” Hinata mumbled back.

He felt more than he saw Koizumi’s smile.

“As if. I would never. And I’m happy for you.”

Hinata smiled in return.

He was seriously starting to fall asleep when he heard steps coming from the stairs, and one second later, Komaeda rushed into the lobby… and stopped when he noticed them.

Hinata didn’t understand right away why Koizumi pushed him away from her, but then he saw the hurt, the hurt, Komaeda was hurt in the other’s eyes. Then, as soon as the expression appeared, it turned into his usual easy-going, untouchable persona.

“Hinata, Koizumi, good evening. I’m a bit tired, so I’ll head back early. You’ll say goodbye to Mioda for me ? She has been singing on the karaoke machine for the last thirty minutes, and I’m not sure when she’ll be done.”

Before even waiting for an answer, Komaeda disappeared. Koizumi whispered furiously to Hinata’s address.

“What are you waiting for ? Run after him ?”

“What ?” He replied, confused. “Why ?”

“You said you were done trying to make him jealous, right ?” Koizumi said. “Then run after him, and fix up this mess.”

Hinata nodded. That sounded like a solid argument. He stood up, but was stopped in his track by Koizumi’s hand catching his wrist.

“And for the love of god,” she said, “don’t make out with him. You stink of alcohol.”

Hinata offered her his most confident smile - though Koizumi didn’t seem too impressed. Leaning toward her, he whispered.

“You’re not my mom, and I make out with him if I want to !” He let out an extatic laugh. “I’m going to make out with his mouth. So hard.”

Koizumi rolled her eyes so hard Hinata wondered if that hurt.

“And I was starting to have hope.”

Hinata let out another chuckle, and ran outside the lobby. He didn’t have any time to waste : he had someone to fight for, after all.