#And he loved engaging with us so to see him break away is sad like its the end of an era we're never getting back

[awesamforehead]

[cherryobx]

Turn up the music okay any fletcher song for rafe but these two together undrunk and bitter

Undrunk and Bitter

a/n: love both of these songs sm!

pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

summary: you and Rafe broke up but some feelings still linger

warnings: suggestive themes, language

wc: 1.4k

How long will it take for your feelings for someone to go away? How long does it take to stop loving someone? Even if that someone is so bad for you.

You and Rafe broke up almost a month ago and you feel like every day is worse than the last. At first it was easy. You cried, got all of your sadness and anger out of your body. But then arrived the longing and loneliness. 

You miss him. You miss waking up in the same bed, his arms around you. You miss going on dates with him. You miss him giving a ride on the back of his bike. The little things.

But the relationship between you ate you up inside. You loved him but also knew you deserved better. You deserved more. That’s why you broke up with him. It was probably the hardest decision of your life. Because where do you find the strength to let go of the person you love more than anyone else?

“I can’t watch you mope around anymore.” Your friend Grace sits at the edge of your bed where you’re currently lying, staring at the ceiling deep in thought.

“Top’s throwing a party tonight. We’re going.”

You know you don’t have the energy to go but you also don’t have the energy to argue with her. And that’s how you end up at Topper’s house a couple of hours later.

You know he’s here even though you haven’t spotted him yet. Rafe. You can feel it in your bones. 

“I’m gonna get a drink,” you tell Grace who’s engaged in a conversation with Kelce about who knows what and she dismisses you with a wave. 

You sigh and try to find your way to the kitchen. Passing the living room, you see Rafe on the couch with a pretty girl on his lap. His eyes meet yours for a second before someone addresses him and he turns his attention to them.

Yeah, you definitely need a drink now.

How is it so easy for him to move on? It makes you wonder how much you really meant for him. How much the relationship and later the break up affected him. Did you really mean so little to him?

You finally find the kitchen. The counters are filled with various types of alcohol ranging from light stuff to hard liquor. You head for the latter. You down shot after shot and soon enough you feel your head start slowly spinning and your worries floating away. It feels nice. It helps you forget about him for a second.

“Rough night?”

You turn around and some guy is leaning against the counter, a red solo cup in his hand.

“You could say that.” You give him, what must be, a sad smile.

“What’s got you drinking like that?” he asks as he scoots closer and takes a sip of his drink.

“Life.”

“Fair enough.” He laughs. “I’m Trevor.”

“To you, Trevor.” You salute him and take another shot, grimacing at the taste of vodka in your mouth. He offers his drink as a chaser and you happily take it and down that too.

You introduce yourself to him and the conversation starts flowing. The alcohol keeps flowing too. Soon enough his hands are everywhere at once and you’re making out in the secluded hallway.

It feels nice. You feel wanted again. You haven’t felt that way in a while and crave it more than anything. There’s a little voice in the back of your head that keeps nagging at you that it’s wrong to use someone to get over Rafe. But it feels so good and you can’t help but want more.

“Y/n.” You’d recognize that voice anywhere. Rafe.

You break away from Trevor and see him approaching. His fists are balled and even the way he walks indicates that he’s angry.

“Get the fuck away from her,” he snarls.

“But-”

“Step the fuck back!” 

Trevor backs up with his hands raised in defeat.

“Walk away.” Rafe instructs him and he doesn’t argue. So much for that.

“Are you okay?” he asks almost softly, his hands on your upper arms on both sides of your body.

You shove him away. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What the fuck is wrong with me? You’re the one hooking up with strangers in the fucking hallway.”

“So? You can swap spit with girls all night but I can’t do the same?”

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’? We broke up, Rafe. I can do whatever the fuck I want.”

“You’re drunk. You’re not thinking clearly. Let me take you home.” He takes a step closer but you take one simultaneously back.

“Fuck you. I’m thinking more clearly than I have in a while. Why can you move on but I can’t?”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m not moving on anywhere with anyone.”

“You’re trying to tell me you didn’t fuck that pretty thing before you came here? Nice try. I need space from you, Rafe.”

“First of all, I haven’t fucked anyone since we broke up. Second, I’m taking you home.”

“Yeah right. I don’t believe you. She was all over you.”

“Like that guy was all over you?”

You shut your mouth. “That’s none of your business.”

“It is. You’re still my business whether you like it or not. Now, you can come with me willingly or I will physically drag you out of here.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” You cross your arms on your chest and stand your ground, which in a literal sense is difficult because you’re too drunk for your own good.

“Stop being difficult.”

“No.”

He sighs before he makes a quick move of picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. You’re like a sack of flour. Absolutely helpless and pathetic.

“Put me down!” You hit his back with your fists but that does nothing to help. He’s unaffected.

“I’m gonna throw up all over you,” you threaten. It’s actually a real possibility due to the fact that your head is furiously spinning and you can’t make your left from your right.

“I don’t care.”

People stare at him weird as he carries you through the house, while you’re kicking and screaming, to the driveway where his car is parked.

Very surprisingly to everyone around Rafe, he’s sober tonight. He didn’t plan on staying sober but when he saw you enter Topper’s yard through the living room window his heart made the decision for him.

He drops you in the passenger seat and buckles you up before walking to the driver’s side and hopping into the seat. In the few seconds he was outside the car you managed to unbuckle your seatbelt but he pulls it across your body again and locks the doors so you can’t escape. 

“I hate you,” you snarl at him and cross your arms once again, angling your body towards the car door on your side.

“Don’t care.” He backs out of the driveway and starts driving towards your house.

You rest your head against the cool window of the car and stare at the passing scenery. 

“Why do you care so much?” you ask.

“What?” He looks at you for a second before turning his gaze back towards the road ahead of him.

“Why do you care?”

“About what?”

“About me. We broke up and here you are, taking me home after cockblocking me.”

He scoffs. “I can’t stop caring about you overnight, Y/N. That’s not how it works. And even if I wanted to I couldn’t.”

“You looked like you could. Plenty of girls throwing themselves at you. Take your pick.”

“I don’t want any of them.”

The rest of the ride passes in silence. He helps you out of the car, into your house and to your bedroom. He even tucks you under the covers. 

“Why don’t you want other girls? You can, you know.” 

He leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead which makes you instantly close your eyes for a moment of bliss. For a second, you’re thrown back in time when you were together and he used to kiss you goodnight every single night, even if it meant driving over from his place to yours to do so.

“I’m waiting.”

“For what?”

“For you to love me again.”

You open your mouth but no words come out.

“If you remember this in the morning, text me. We’ll talk.” With that he stands up, turns off the lights and leaves, softly closing the door after him.

[lvlyghost]

Hello do you take requests cause I had this idea in my mind but I suck in writing

how bout a ghost x reader where he had a bad day and takes it out on his beloved reader who he's been in a really long relationship with, by starting an argument and maybe saying some really mean and bad things that break the reader. Like the reader is only a shell of herself and completely ruined by ghosts words and just crying or sitting completely still staring off the wall or just staring at nothing just being numb.

What would be interesting is Simons reaction when he realizes the damage that he's done, maybe he would cry/break down idk when he sees the usually happy reader being so dull and almost lifeless yk

But Pleasee don't do this to our hearts and write some comfort and a happy ending please I couldn't handle too much angst❤️😭

The Weight of the World

PAIRINGS: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader

SUMMARY: You promised to always lean on each other but sometimes love isn't enough.

WORD COUNT: 1.5k

TW: heavy angst, literally got some mid anxiety writing this🥴 swearing, self-doubt, hurt-comfort and slight fluff towards the end. lmk if i missed any.

A/N: finished this in one sitting lol, also not proofread and poorly edited, i've been having a shitty week so expect more angst lol. meet me in therapy. Enjoy anon!🤍🌟🫶🏻💕

Masterlist✨

You hesitate right outside Simon's studio, the place where he secludes himself from everything and everyone. Ever since he came from his last mission he seemed to be on the edge constantly. The usual softness that he reserved specifically for you was... absent.

Still you wouldn't let that stop you from approaching; having dating him for a few years now let you know so much of that. You knew when he was hurting. When he was sad, angry, jealous or even happy. Little to no people could say that.

Somehow this was different. He wasn't even letting you in, constantly keeping you at arms length and that hurt. How were you supposed to get to him this time? Get him to talk to you?

To look at you again with that same glint in his eyes, the spark that you ignited in him and that won't fade away even years after.

The sound of a chair creaking startles you, the same time the timer in the kitchen goes off. You walk back, turning the oven off, and sticking out the apple pie you so happily baked for both with hopes that you'll get him loosen a bit that dark cloud that's been looming over Simon these past few days.

The door of his studio is yanked open the heavy stomp of his boots resonating across the small apartment you two share, then his bulky frame appears just to grab the keys to his black motorcycle.

"Simon!" You call him, burning your hand in the process. He stills halfway through the living room, waiting for you to say something else. Wetting a cloth hurriedly and wrapping it around the burnt skin.

"I made something for us... maybe," standing behind him you leave a reasonable space between the two. You swallow down hard. "Thought we could have it together and just, you know spend...-"

"I don't have time for that now." His voice is cold and monotone. "Don't wait for me."

"But Si-" he turns on his heels, eyes hard and unyielding. He approaches slowly, making you gulp. "What's gotten into you, Simon?" You fight back the tears, this was the man you loved so dearly, the man you knew loved you back; there was a reason for the golden engagement ring on your left hand. "I..-"

"Fucking hell would you stop that? Please just..." he notices the wetness in your eyes. "I can't do this. Not anymore."

"Whatever it is I promise we can work it out together!" your lips quivered. "Just talk to me!"

"I don't need to talk about anything girl!" He seethes, one finger pointing at you. "Think some cheap counseling with you will make things right? Bloody hell no. Neither some homemade bread, this isn't fucking working and it won't until you learn how the bloody world works."

It breaks your heart into a tiny million pieces, breathing becomes a challenge and the injury in your hand can no longer be felt. Simon's words were worse than any physical pain. Where was the man you loved? The man who used to lift you up and kiss you on the forehead? The man whose hands couldn't stop roaming your body late at night? The man who'd helped you reach out for things he probably put away in the highest shelf so you'd ask for help. That same man that had proposed to you no long ago, right before he was deployed to a special op God knows where. The fabric of his mask moves when he keeps talking but you don't listen. You can't. Just like you can't stop the tears dribbling down your cheeks and the tremble of your hands. Simon's jaw clenched, brows furrowed as he takes a step back and leaves.

You walk sluggishly to where the dessert awaits. It's when your knees buckle that you finally let out a loud cry.

-

Simon knows he isn't a good man. He's done quite questionable things that he could never say out loud. He knows he's fucked in so many ways. But he also knows that there's one thing that kept him from spiraling further down into an abyss of death and self-loathing.

You.

The woman he decided he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. The girl that didn't care about his past, the bad moments and his complicated persona. You who would selflessly love him without asking for something in return. What had you seen in him in first place? Even now after three years he can't wrap his head around the fact that he has someone who waits for him.

Simon knows how much he loves you, but what he doesn't know is how—or in what earth—he deserves every part of you.

You've been avoiding him ever since that horrible night. Words he can't take back. Looks that haunt him every time he closed his eyes. He hears you cry when you go to sleep or when you're taking a shower. Muffled sobs and wails that will come for him until the day he dies.

You avoid him like a plague, when he walks in. After all he's the one to blame. He wanted to ask you to tear him apart maybe that'd feel less painful.

The last remaining of sanity that was left in him came crashing down when he began to notice how you stared off in a haze, numbly looking at the window. He was losing you. Destroyed the one good thing he had. So, a few days later, despite his own demons. Despite the things that broke him all irreparably during the last mission in Moscow, he comes to find you. Sucking in a sharp breath as his eyes set on your left hand.

The engagement ring was gone, forgotten someplace unknown. Simon felt the panic wrenching his guts.

It's all on him.

He whispers your name, calls you softly. Slowly sitting in front of you, the coffee table creaks under his weight. Words get caught in his throat.

"May I take your hand?" He pleads, not getting an answer. Simon sighs, lowering his head as silent reigns yet again. "I don't deserve you." He murmurs, eyes bored into the floor. "I... I ruin everything I touch. Just never thought I'd ruin my girl."

Your eyes flutter shut, wet tears clinging to your eyelashes. Simon watches as you stand and leave without a word, he follows close behind to your shared room.

"Love..."

"Don't call me that!" the hurt in your voice... the resentment in your eyes, he's earned it.

Simon reaches out for your arm, grabbing you firmly but gently, mindful not to harm you.

"Right I deserve that." If there's one thing Simon regrets it's being the reason that your eyes no longer shine. "What I said... what happened I...-"

Shaking your head and biting down your lip.

"You never gave me the chance, I thought we said we'd always find a way."

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry baby." in an instant he's pulling you close, although you want to push him away, scream at him, slap him for the calvary he made you go through. "I'm not good with words, and I'm no good person." You feel his body shaking with anxiety as your eyes widen in shock. "I tried... I can't forgive myself for my mistakes."

"Simon..." he hushed you, cradling your head with his big hand. "I can't sleep knowing I can't protect you from what's out there, couldn't bloody protect that kid in Moscow, or my family."

You guide him to the bed, sitting down side by side and holding onto each other.

"Said I would always be with you Simon, why the hell did you push me away?! Have I not given my everything to you? We promised to always make it work!" He grabs your face staring intently into your eyes. "What happened there?"

He blinks, deciding how much to say. There was no need for you to know the entirety of it. He wanted to shield you from the horrors of this world, and he would as long as he lived.

"A young lad whose life's was cut short because I wasn't there on time. How can I come back to you, be happy when someone else just lost their kid..."

"That wasn't on you! Simon Riley you stop that now." He inhales, cinnamon and vanilla flooding his senses. It's you all of you. "Stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. We do that together, yeah?" Your chest hurts from how hard it's beating. "You've done far so much. You won't lose me."

A rumble in the sky and cars passing by outside your home is all you hear. Brown eyes like honey stare back into your soul.

"You took it off..."

"I burnt my hand, it wasn't healing properly. And you know what?" He quirks a brow. "It wasn't homemade bread. It was an apple pie, you silly."

"You'll never forgive me for that one won't you?" He doesn't chuckle but the air feels lighter.

"No. Probably won't." Simon takes your burnt hand bringing it to his lips, they're soft against the marred skin.

"But we're still getting married, yeah?" He asks.

You smile fondly, humming when he kisses your forehead, tears have now dried.

"Yeah. We're still getting married."

[f1amour]

✧˚ · . 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 — 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐖𝐎

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

warnings: angst (but happy ending <3), miscommunication , age gap (reader is 26 daniel is 35), jealous!daniel

authors note: very short and sweet part two of dirty little secret sorry it took me awhile to put it out, i was getting some writers block so it was a very rushed plot but it’s a happy ending hopefully that makes it up <3 i may write some small blurbs to this series since i really enjoyed writing this request but writing a full fic can take me some time and i hate keeping people waiting

part one

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MARCH 2025

It's been a year since you had last spoken to Daniel and while you see him around the paddock it wasn't the same. Despite being heartbroken from that night on the balcony and his words that cut into your heart you still sent him a congratulatory text when it was announced he would be racing for Red Bull along Max once again in the 2025 season.

It had been something he talked to you about hoping he could prove himself once again to a team he regrets ever leaving. The text was left on read for days until you received a one word response from him, "Thanks."

His response and behavior for the rest of the 2024 season was killing you and you decided you would never speak to him again. He didn't seem phased by that when you had seen him with a new girl at your brother's engagement party.

You wanted to hate him. Your mind hated him but your heart…oh your silly heart would always belong to him.

"I…I don't understand. You worked with us for two years now and you said working here was your dream after leaving Mclaren. Why are you going to Ferrari?" Max asks disappointed while you sit with him in your office.

You stare at Max and give him a smile with tears in your eyes, "I can't be around him, Max. I'll have to be around him 24/7 for social media duties and my heart can't take the pain seeing him act like I didn't even matter to him as a friend."

And I can't bear to see him with her.

Max can see this wasn't just an argument about Daniel being a shitty friend, no he knew something more had happened even though Daniel refused to tell him he knew deep down something more had happened between the two of you.

"I'm gonna miss you." He says truthfully, you had actually made his days where he would have to film and post things for social media fun. Max saw your passion for the job and knew it was better to do it in an environment where both drivers would make her feel appreciated.

─────────────────────────

Going into the 2025 season was a breath of fresh air you hadn't felt in awhile and you were doing well on the Scuderia Ferrari team, getting close to both Charles and Lewis had helped heal the sadness you had carried over you.

You were finally moving on despite still being in love with someone who would never love you.

Your brother was at the first race of the season to support Daniel at his home race and back with Red Bull. You hadn't seen him in months so despite knowing Daniel would be at the restaurant Luka had reserved you went to finally catch up with your brother.

"Seriously, you look glowing. You sure there isn't a man in your life being that reason for the smile on your face?" Luka's fiance, Amelia asks you while you take another sip of your second glass of wine.

Daniel's expression falls when he hears her question towards you and your brother focuses on the now interesting topic regarding your love life, "Oh do tell dear sister? Finally got yourself a man?"He jokes with you, only for you to slap his head.

"No you dingus. The only men in my life are Charles and Lewis." You tell them with a straight face until you say Lewis's name and you break out in a smile.

"No fucking way! You and Hamilton?! Danny why didn't you tell me about this?" Your brother questions Daniel.

Daniel stares at you for a moment but you look away not seeing the sadness in his eyes, "Uh I didn't know they were together." He says flatly.

You roll your eyes and glare at the Australian, "No one said we were together."”

"Well the way you fucking smile over hearing his name seems like there is something there." He spits back. The table now grows silent tension obviously between the two of you.

"What's going on with the both of you? You used to be so close. I was shocked to see you leave Red Bull even though Daniel would be back on the team. Remember in 2019 when they offered you–."

"Fuck off Luka! People change and grow up. I did what was best for my career not to follow your boyfriend around.” You cut your brother off from revealing something you had kept from Daniel for years now.

"Please you're the one who's been in love with him for five years." He scoffs, his face drops after saying those words realizing the mistake he had made.

Daniel looks over at you, "What…what did he just say?"

You stand up from the table and throw the glass of wine you hsd left on your brother, "Best big brother ever!" You walk away from the dinner table and avoid the stares from other people.

"Y/n! Y/n wait up! We need to talk what he said back there–."

"Now you want to talk? After a year of ignoring me, you want to talk now? Well sorry but I don't have time for you anymore." You send Lewis a quick text asking to pick you up with an immediate reply saying he would be there in five minutes.

"He said you love me…was it the truth?"”

"Fuck danny I mean everyone could fucking tell but you! Yes…I loved you. Loved. I don't love you now, I don't love the Daniel in front of me. The Daniel I love would have never done what you did to me. What did you call me again? Oh, a dirty little secret? That's all I would ever be."

Daniel shakes his head holding back tears, “That’s…look my wording for that was fucking terrible. But I promise what you feel I feel as well. Fuck I lo—.”

“Don’t. Please don’t say it, Daniel. I’ve loved you for so long that I would forgive everything that has happened if you tell me you love me. But that isn’t fair to me. You have been terrible to me since that night. You’ve ignored me like i meant nothing. As if we weren’t friends before that night. I’m sorry but please don’t tell me you love me when your actions have shown the opposite. Good luck this weekend.” Your heart was hurting as you said the words but it was needed. If Daniel said he loved you then you would forgive everything and you can’t do that to yourself.

─────────────────────────

It was media day for the Australian GP and Daniel hadn’t been able to sleep ever since you told him you loved him two days ago. He fucked up and he knew that but he also knew that he does love you.

His actions so far may not be proving that but he now has it set in his mind that he will prove to you how much he loves you.

“So I’m gonna ride in the car while Lewis drives and I ask questions?” You ask Charles who nods placing the helmet on you.

“Why aren’t you doing that? It would make more sense and I could get better content with both of you.” You tell Charles but he just shakes his head.

“No it’ll be fun just trust me. Now go!” He smiles widely shoving you into the car with Lewis already in the car.

You sigh and grab your planner going to the Noah where you had questions ready, “Alright Lewis, you better drive safe I wanna get back in one piece. So where do we—.”

The car takes off quickly and your planner falls to the floor, “Lewis slow down!” You yell at the Brit but when you look over you realize it’s not Lewis driving the car but Daniel.

“Daniel! I…what are—.”

“I love you! I’ve been in love with you for quite some time now. I met you in the Redbull headquarters looking lost on your first day and I knew you would mean something to me. I…I don’t believe in love at first sight but when I first saw you I felt a pull and an instant connection I never felt with anyone else. Our conversation flowed so well and god your smile…your fucking smile made my entire day. It makes me happy every single day of my life seeing that precious smile on your beautiful face. So when I realized I was the reason for the frown on your face and not seeing that smile on your face because of me for a year…I was a fucking idiot. An idiot who has been scared to love because of their own insecurities. I wanted to tell you for so long how I felt, sunshine. But when we were at McLaren I was living a fucking nightmare. A nightmare you helped me survive despite all the trauma they’ve left me and so I thought that confessing my feelings you’d leave me and I don’t know if I could survive not having you in my life.”

His eyes filed with tears still driving at a safe pace knowing you were in the car. His breath shaking at the mention of the team who crushed his confidence, your hand reaches over to his thigh and you give it a squeeze encouraging him to continue.

“But I was also conflicted with being your brother’s best friend. I thought it was could lose our friendship but that’s when I realized if he was my friend he would support us. Which he does…I asked him after dinner the other day what he would think and he says I’m an idiot for ever holding these feelings back. Because I met you first you were my best friend way before he was. You are the love of my life. You…I have to look you in the eyes. Fuck this.” He stops the car and gets out quickly running to your side and helping you out of the car and taking your helmet off along with his.

His hands cup your face, “Danny, there’s people that could be watching.” You whisper softly looking into his brown eyes.

“I don’t care. I’m in love with you. I love you. I love the way your eyes light up when someone is telling you some good news. I love the way your nose scrunches when you laugh. I love the way you cry every time we watch a romcom and the characters admit they’re in love with each other. I love how passionate you are for your friends and family. I love how you marched down into the Mcalren office and gave Zak a piece of your mind after they ended my contract. I love that you love me so deeply you denied working for Red Bull as the social media manager in 2019 because I would be gone the following year. Your eyes. Your smile. Your lips. Your hands. I’m in love with every part of you and more. I want you in my life forever. I want to come home with you and tell you how my day went. I want to share my highs and lows with you. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life whether you choose to have me in your life or not. As long as I’m alive you’ll always be loved by me.” Daniel lets out a deep breath finishing his confession and looking down at you waiting for a response. His heart beating 10 times more than if’s usual rate.

“I…I love you, Daniel. I love you so much it hurts me. I was such an idiot for not saying it sooner. So many wasted years we could have been together. You’re my life, baby. I breathe for you. I live for you. I could stay in your arms forever. You’ve showed me unconditional love as a friend but now I want more. Your smile brings sunshine in my darkest days. I want to love you for the rest of my life as well. Together and forever.” You ignore the cheers from half of the drivers that had all ran down the track to see why the car had stopped but seeing Daniel pulling you closer to him gave them an indication it was all good news.

“Let’s give them a show, sunshine.” Daniel whispers against your lips before pulling you into a deep kiss. Missing his lips after a year you pull him closer if that’s even possible, your hands tugging on his hair.

“If you tug on my hair some more I’m gonna get a boner in front of everyone.” He says against yours lips.

“Danny!” You slap his chest, pulling away from him only for him to lift you up and wrap your legs around him.

“Fucking hell mate took you guys long enough to finally admit your feelings.” Max says walking up to the two of you.

“Shut it, Maximilian.” You glare at him before smiling over at Charles and Lewis who were walking over to you with the biggest grins on their faces.

“Oh I’m going to give you guys do the most annoying challenges for the socials next week. How dare you set me up?” You get off Daniel to walk over to them, Daniel stays attached to you though.

The two Ferrari drivers shrug, “He called me last night to find out what our relationship was before he told me the plan he had to confess his feelings. I had to laugh when he thought we were dating.” Lewis chuckles.

You join him and look at Daniel, “Come on baby, you really thought me and Lewis were together? I smiled at his name the other night because the same night he had called me before dinner saying he got stuck in the car…turns out Charles had his keys and kept locking the door on him so he couldn’t get out. But it’s cute you were jealous.” You pinch his cheeks.

“I’m so getting you back for that.” Lewis glares at Charles who decides this was his best chance to run off.

Daniel smiles down at you, “I love you.”

You kiss him softly, “I love you, always.”

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[kinascum]

BITS. - M.STURNIOLO (harry potter AU)

summary: As night descended upon the Hogwarts grounds, the students retreated to their dormitories. However, as a prefect, you noticed a student missing from the dungeons.

Warnings: listen english is not my first language im sorry, angst, sad matt, regulus black coded matt, prefect!reader, slytherin!matt.

A/N: Hey! this is pt1 of my 1K CELEBRATION! find the celebration masterlist here (coming soon)! enjoy!!

As darkness fell, enveloping the Hogwarts castle, all of the students retired to their dormitories, preparing for a restful night's sleep. However, as a diligent prefect of Slytherin House, you couldn't help but notice that Matt Sturniolo was conspicuously absent from the Slytherin Common Room. Despite the stringent rules prohibiting students from wandering the halls at night, your concern for Matt propelled you to search for him.

Quietly making your way through the dimly lit corridors, you cautiously avoid the watchful gaze of the janitor and the ever-wandering eyes of the teachers. After what seems like an eternity, you catch sight of a mysterious figure in the main courtyard. And there he is, standing alone amidst the cold night, his face powdered with a delicate layer of snow. His demeanor exudes an aura of hostility and distance, not at all striking as this was his usual self. As you cautiously approach him, attempting to engage in conversation, Matt remains silent, his thoughts veiled in the mystique of the silent winter night.

You try several times to bring him out of his melancholic trance, but it seems like no matter how hard you try, Matt won't speak. Frustrated by his seemingly stubborn silence, you approach him and grab his shoulder, turning him back. You gasp, not having expected the tears running through his eyes.

"Matt...?" you question, concern bubbling in your own eyes as Matt' sobs intensify.

"Get away from me!" he yells tearfully, his voice quivering with fear and vulnerability. You instinctively reach out to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he recoils, his eyes filled with hostility as if they were shooting needles into your skin.

Matt had never been the type to open up, yet you can't bear to see him suffer alone. Not when you know that his loneliness is eating away at him, causing him to doubt himself and question his sanity. How could someone as thoughtful and kindhearted (even if he didn't show it much) as Matt go through such anguish? It doesn't make sense.

In one swift motion, you pull the boy into a tight embrace, offering him the only comfort that you can give him in this time of need. He fights against your warmth. Sighs of denial fly out onto your shoulder as he cries. He rejects the embrace as he is used to doing, but you know he needs this more than his pride.

Eventually, he starts desperately clutching your clothes, struggling to stifle his cries, burying his head in your chest. You gently caress his back, trying to offer some semblance of comfort, yet his shaking is unbearable. All too soon, he pushes you away, looking into your eyes with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Why are you doing this!?" His uncontrollable sobs cause him to struggle for breath, and as he exhales, large white clouds of condensation form over his face.

Your heart breaks at the anguish radiating from him, as well as the frustration seeping out of every pore of his body. It feels like an entire ocean lies between you two, and the mere sight of it makes you feel so helpless. And then it hits you.

The first thought that comes to mind as you stare into Matt's wide blue eyes: You have to be there for him. If not for yourself, then for the sake of everyone who loves and cares about him. You want to ease the pain that his despair brings him, whether he wants it or not. Matt Sturniolo deserves to be happy, even if he's unable to accept it at the moment.

"I'm doing this because I care," you say between gasps for air, your heart pounding as you desperately search for the right words to convey your understanding.

Even though you barely know this boy, you can sense the weight he carries and how he longs for moments of peace and support. You take tentative steps toward him. You stop in front of him, your heart still pounding, feeling like you had ripped it out just to hand it to him.

As you stand there in the courtyard facing Matt, the cold night air seems to envelope you, creating an almost tangible barrier between your emotions. But the urgency to reach out to him and provide some comfort is overwhelming. He looks at you with a mix of surprise and pain in his eyes, as if he can't fathom why anyone would care about his turmoil.

"I want to be there for you," you repeat, your voice barely above a whisper, your own emotions threatening to spill over. "You don't have to go through this alone." Matt gazes at you, his expression a tumultuous blend of vulnerability and defiance.

It's evident that he's battling his inner turmoil, struggling with the idea of letting someone in. For a moment, neither of you speak. The silence seems to echo the heaviness of the situation, mirroring the weight of Matt's pain. At that moment, you feel a profound determination to break through the walls he had built around himself, to let him know that he isn't alone in this.

"I don't know if I can," Matt finally murmurs, his voice laden with uncertainty. He takes a hesitant breath, his gaze flickering between you and the ground. You wait, giving him the space and time he needs to process his emotions.

Before you can say anything, you hear footsteps approaching. Professor McGonagall's dark eyes pierce through the darkness. "What is the meaning of this?" she demands, her voice commanding and tinged with disapproval.

Matt steps back, his moment of vulnerability vanishing as quickly as it had come. "Nothing, Professor. I was just... I was just leaving," he stammers, avoiding your gaze as he brushes past you and heads back toward the Slytherin Common Room.

But before he could, McGonagall stops him dead in his tracks, "No, you werent, actually." She said, the boy stood confused before she continued speaking. "It is far past curfew, children, follow me."

Both you and Matt followed her out of the school, grumbling under your breaths. McGonagall turned and cast a stern look at you both, her eyes daring them to talk back. You quickly obeyed, knowing that McGonagall would not tolerate any disobedience.

Upon arrival at Hagrid's hut, he's already waiting outside, Fang by his side "Well, kids, you'll help me here tonight then," Hagrid said, his heavy accent dripping on his voice as he handed Regulus a heavy light, and an axe to you.

"What is this?" you ask, confused as to why he would hand a heavy axe to a child. "Oh. Right..." he turns around to face you both, "We are cutting down some trees these nasty little creatures have been eating at." The rest of his sentence was drowned out by your thoughts as you walked with him.

The weight of his pain lingers in the cold night air, and you can't help but wonder if you'll ever be able to break through to him. With a heavy heart, you make your way into the forbidden forest, knowing that despite your best intentions, some battles are fought alone.

A/N²: not my best work, but let me know if yall want a pt2, kisses!

[mouwrites]

FNAF Security Breach - Catching Their Eye (Glamrock Bonnie & Daycare Attendant)

Bonnie

He’s not particularly close to any humans

Of course, he’s always polite and jovial with employees, but he doesn’t really cultivate relationships with them

He basically treats them the same as guests

But one day, he finds himself noticing you

It’s your personality that makes you stand out

Specifically, your sense of humor

The little jokes and quips you crack while interacting with guests brings a smile to his face

He actually ends up borrowing some of your material

From then on he keeps an eye (and an ear) on you

At first he’s just looking for a laugh himself, and maybe some inspiration for jokes

He trains himself to catch your voice over the noise of other guests

He learns to love the sound

After a while he decides to approach you

He tells himself it’s to ask official permission to use your material, but secretly he also wants to meet a fellow silly

“You come here often?”

“Kinda. I mean, I live in the walls, so…”

He lights up, absolutely delighted to engage in some comedic banter

He loses track of time talking to you

He even forgets his surroundings, completely oblivious to the children muttering excitedly as they “casually” walk past him several times

Eventually you have to separate though; you’re both still technically on the clock

It’s you that has to break your little bubble; he’s way too enraptured to do it himself

You walk away, hurrying off to your next task

He’s frozen in time while he watches you go

He’s sad to end the interaction, but at the same time he’s buzzing with joy that it even happened in the first place

Daycare Attendant (Sun)

He tries to remember every face he meets

Unfortunately he meets a lot of faces, and he often gets them mixed up

At first, you’re no exception

He calls you by at least three different names before getting it right

But the way you smile when he finally learns your name…

It sticks with him

Your name doesn’t though; he immediately forgets it again

So he gives you a ((very creative)) name in his head: “smiley”

He doesn’t actually call you that though

He just watches from afar, going “there’s smiley!!” in his head whenever he sees you

He does tend to stare, just because he wants to see if he can catch that smile again

One day you catch him, and you smile and wave

He just about short circuits right there

He leaps into the air, bounding around energetically and laughing victoriously

“Smiley smiled at me!!”

He doesn’t really look where he’s going, and eventually he comes to a stop right in front of you

You can’t hold back your laughter at his over the top reaction

From that moment on he dedicates himself to making you smile more often

Daycare Attendant (Moon)

He’s very good at remembering people; his mind is like an iron cage

But he doesn’t interact with people too often

He usually just waits to overhear someone’s name, or for them to tell it to him

It’s a rare occurrence for him to actually ask for someone’s name

So it’s a bit of an occasion when he approaches you to ask for your name

He was enchanted by your appearance, having caught sight of you from afar

He waited patiently for you to come to him; close enough that he could speak to you

Then he introduces himself, apologizing when you jump

“I didn’t mean to startle you. What’s your name?”

“That’s alright. I’m Y/n.”

He nods slowly

He decides that your name is just as beautiful as your appearance

He’ll continue to watch you, mostly from afar, but sometimes he’ll venture closer

You won’t see him in the darkness, but you might hear him whispering your name

It’s a little habit he’s developed; he’ll whisper your name just to hear the sound of it

It reminds him of you and your beauty

Needless to say, very infatuated with you

You’re like a fine jewel to him, something to be admired, something special in a sea of plain faces and names

Thank you so much for reading!! And thank you to the lovely person who suggested this ;D take care <33

[hedgehog-troops]

"all generations of potters fall in love with blacks"

strap in, this is a long one

i propose to you euphemia black.

euphemia who took her little cousin, walburga, under her wing the moemnt she was born. they played together, effie was the situated babysitter despite being only 6 years older.

effie who walburga used to call eff all throughout.

effie when she went to hogwarts and came back to tell walburga tales of hogwarts, and walburga listened about the mystical and magical stuff.

walburga who wanted to get a job in the high ranks of the ministry and wanted to study hard for it. euphemia who would come back from hogwarts and teach her small stuff.

slowly as euphemia got older, she started to rebel a bit, hanging out with muggles and always with that blood traitor fleamont potter.

cut to walburga joins hogwarts and she's scared that no one will like her cz she's not cool like euphemia, she's just smart.

euphemia gives up time with her friends to stay with walburga, show her around, entertain her, tutor her and everything.

walburga when she goes home and get scolded by her parents and told to stop hanging out with euphemia and to hang around with her pureblood friend but walburga likes euphemia so she continues.

thats up until she comes back from her secodn year and her mother threatens her and walburga is like well im only hanging out with euphemia to gather info (in an attempt to save herself) and she rats out that effie is not only dating monty but also intends to elope with him.

effie gets disowned and theres a kind of target put on her and Monty's back. walburga writes and writes to her apologizing, but she doesn't accept.

walburga then has no choice but to play perfect daughter, to do as shes told, to marry young.

when walburga finds out that her son (sirius) and euphemias son would be going in the same year, she warns sirius, in her own sadistic manner, to never engage with him.

when sirius comes back yapping about the potter boy, she yells at him, but she just doesn't want him hurt as she was.

when james comes home talking about sirius black, euphemia has to close her eyes shut and remind herself that she promised herself she wouldnt meddle in her son's friendships.

when walburga tries her best to draw out information about sirius's friends out of him and he doesn't give out a word she knows that her son is stronger than she ever was.

she sees sirius rebel, again and again, despite her emotional, mental and physical torture and she hates him for being better than her, and yet she loves him all the same for that reason.

sirius runs away, and she could make the potters' life hell just like her family did with eff all those years ago but she doesnt. shes heartbroken, shes angry, shes sad, shes livid but a part of herself is proud of her son for doing what she never had the courage to.

when The Prank™ takes place and euphemia watches as it takes her son time, maybe a long time, but he still forgives sirius and they treat him as they did before, she realises that the boy she raised is a better and bigger person than she ever could be.

as walburga watches her younger son break under the pressure of one sharp look and a few loud words to reveal that sirius ran away, she hates regulus at that moment. hates him for not being like sirius, hates him for being a coward, but most of, she hates him for being herself, for being her mirror.

years go by, she leaves sirius' room untouched, shes not worthy enough to step in.

the war rages around them and euphemia, years later, opens one of walburgas letters. she reads the tear stained, smudged words as she takes in the sweet innocence of the letter. euphemia potter has always been a self assured woman, though at that moment she couldn't help but hate herself.

she hates how now she sees walburga in sirius, she sees sirius laugh with james and dance with remus and play with peter and wonders if walburga couldve had this life.

she welcomes death with open arms a monh later, but not before sending her own letter.

walburga watches the letter catch fire until all that's left of it is gray ash because she knows that euphemia all but did the same.

when walburga gets regulus' death letter, she, for the first time in years, breaks down.

she realises at that moment that she isnt a horrid person because of her circumstances, she just is.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

I haven't seen it yet but full hc for the m6 with an MC on the ADHD spectrum

The Arcana HCs: M6 with an MC who has ADHD

~ @themushroomgoesyeet hope you like these! I'm writing half from personal experience, half from what I've read and heard. Please let me know if there's anything that need correcting! ~

Julian

ADHD is a less familiar subject for him, if only because his areas of specialty so far have been contagious diseases and battle wounds

He's also not really one to judge you for difficulty keeping a sleep schedule, self-medicating with caffeine, or spending days on end obsessively learning everything you can about a specific subject

What's abundantly clear to him, though, is that you do not deserve to live with the guilt that comes from your own brain hijacking every commitment and interest that it doesn't prioritize

He knows what it's like to feel guilty for something that wasn't your fault, and he doesn't like seeing you live with it

The way he sees it, he's even more to blame for his shortcomings than you are, because you're actively working against your own brain and he's just ... sad (you'll have to tell him that this is not true)

This is going to become one of those shared challenges you tackle together as a couple

He'll write down all the bad effects of too much caffeine to motivate him to reduce your combined intake

You remind him to go to bed with you at a decent hour and call it "poetry time" instead of "bedtime" to trick both of your brains into not thinking of it as the end of the day

Asra

They love you. They love you so much. They never, ever want to get in the way of your preferences and vision

He enables you maaaybe a little more than he should

Staying up late is a great idea! Spending the entire day on your current fixation with no break to go outside or talk to people? Hey, don't let them ruin your fun ~

Thankfully, he cares about you far too much to leave you to engage in anything genuinely self destructive

Once the amount of caffeine you've consumed goes from "inadvisable" to "concerning," once your sleep schedule goes from "not ideal" to "dysfunctional", they'll step in in the gentlest way

Another cup of coffee? Let him get you some soothing tea. Another all-nighter? Snuggle him first, let him help you meditate a bit and see if you don't get drowsy

Nobody can combat executive dysfunction like this magician

All it takes is them feeling the slowly building dread through your bond, and they're lovingly poofing you off of the couch/floor/counter and into a very ticklish hug

His lifestyle is heavily ADHD coded as it is. He remains completely unfazed by the roller coaster that your brain can be

Nadia

To her, you are the best possible version of her opposite

She has a hard time changing between trains of thought. You reboot yours every time you walk through a door!

She sometimes forgets to slow down and appreciate the small things in favor of the bigger picture. You, on the other hand, are constantly pausing to notice them

And don't get her started on how much she admires your capacity to learn so much specialized knowledge in such a short period of time. It's truly astonishing and she adores it

However, she can tell that leaving it unchecked and untreated will make it difficult for you to function in the Palace's normal setup, much less follow regular routines

Quick to find a specialist in your condition and set up a few sessions with them, coming up with ways to work with your diagnoses and exploring medication options that you like

Insanely good at helping you keep your mind on track and regulate your attention and focus levels, even when it means pulling you away from a task that's about to eat up half your day

Likes to idly study the chaotic way you manage your personal spaces and try to figure out what the method to the madness is

Muriel

What, you think he's not used to living with a chaotic being that'll start three projects in a row before randomly walking out and not reappearing for several hours? Please.

Truthfully, there are some small things that annoy him. He likes predictability, and your base state of functioning is taking the next random tangent. That's not easy to not worry about

However, he knows that living with him takes plenty of patience as well. As long as you two can be patient with each other's quirks, and respectful when you lovingly intervene, that's what matters

He still loves hearing you ramble

He likes watching your eyes light up, listening to the excited lilt of your voice as you infodump all the new specialized knowledge you've gobbled up

That aside, he does love learning. Each of your new fixations is a new field of education for him by proxy

He's also someone who thrives on habit and routine and isn't afraid to put his foot down when your wellbeing is involved

He will scoop you up in his arms and lovingly carry you to bed when the bags under your eyes get too prominent and you start to nod off mid-sentence

Portia

Portia looks at you like you hung the moon. Portia thinks that every magical thing you do is mind-blowingly amazing. Portia assumes that all of your little quirks and non-habits are just you being you

Hey, if finding one specific food and eating it and only it for days on end is something you want to do, cool! Maybe it's secretly satisfying some magician's craving!

You're going to think about one thing and one thing only and learn everything there is to know about that thing? That's some badass scholarly behavior right there.

Well - except for the part where you forget something exists as soon as it's not in your hand anymore, or where time really does seem like a social construct, or where you somehow get physically and mentally stuck in one spot without being able to move

That looks ... miserable

Nobody can manage chaos like she can. She'll help you snap out of it, she'll remind you to eat and sleep and take your meds, she'll regularly ask when last you went outside or took a bath

And when you mess up - when you miss an event, or fall behind schedule, or leave things to pile up until they're too much - she'll be right next to you with an encouraging smile and plenty of grace

Lucio

This works either really well or really poorly, depending on the day, how he's doing, how you're doing, what you're both supposed to be doing, what the weather's like ...

It's unpredictable, but that's the fun of it!

Much of the time, your strong points support each other. There are few feelings Lucio hates more than boredom, but with a brain like yours around, there's always something new to try or think about

Few things cause the kind of bone-deep discouragement and guilt that constantly missing things does, but nobody values the importance of trying again like he does

On the other hand, sometimes you accidentally enable each other

Lucio's still learning the self-regulation involved with choosing to do something unpleasant and important over doing something enjoyable and completely useless

And if your brain decides that said pleasant thing is the only thing it's going to function for, well, not getting sidetracked is almost impossible. Good luck to you both

Thankfully, you both have a lifestyle that allows for unusual schedules and working styles. As long as you have each other to keep trying growing, you'll never get stuck for long

[notyour-valentine]

I'd do anything to make you stay (dark!Tommy x Reader)

[Masterlist] [Taglist]

Summary: First, she wished to leave, then she felt it was her duty to leave, then she was desperate to leave until she realised she was forced to stay.

Note: This was written for @noforkingclue and her 2.5 k celebration. Congratulations once again. I hope you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it! I tried my hand at dark! Tommy, but in a more conniving, subtle way and used the implicit prompt of "I'd do anything to make you stay" and the explicit prompt of "I have nothing I could offer you"

I do not consent to my work being translated, copied or posted elsewhere on this platform or any other. This hasn't been beta'd so I apologise for typos or mistakes

Warning: Gun, manipulation, controlling behaviour, obsession (18/21+)

Wordcount: 5033 words

"So that means, I have to leave.", She announced, slightly out of breath from the strength it took to say these words. 

For a moment, there was silence. Then it was Ms Burgess who spoke up. 

"So we will have to find someone new?", She sighed in annoyance. "This hassle is the last thing we need with the wedding coming up."

Her tone made her swallow hard, turning her eyes to the floor. 

"Grace, leave the girl be.", Mr. Shelby argued. His tone softened, when he returned to her. 

"Congratulations.", He offered. "We wish you and your fiancé all the best."

His soft smile made relief wash over her. 

"Thank you for letting us know so that we have time to plan in finding a replacement, even if we are sad to see you go. You are incredible with Charlie."

That was why they had hired her. 

She wasn't a governess, and no nanny or nurse either. In fact, she was only a trained housemaid, but once Mr. Shelby had found out she had three younger siblings of her own, he had hired her as Charlie's caretaker, deeming her qualifications as a sister more important than those from some college or school. 

Ms Burgess had disagreed at first, but the little boy had taken to her. 

And now with Ms Burgess focussed on nothing but the wedding, Charlie grew ever more attached to her. 

He was a beautiful boy, so soft and gentle. Other children raged with tantrums, but only ever cried when he was frightened, hungry or exhausted. He loved to be held and always tried to hold onto a part of her in return, her hair, her hand, the fabric of her clothes. 

And he was getting strong fast.

Having to leave him would break her heart but before long she'd have a bunch of children of her own. 

Mr Shelby had always been kind to her. Occasionally he would bend the rules or show the occasional kindness, like sending her a car to pick her up from the station after her day off, or keeping back a slice of blackberry pie only because she had once mentioned that she adored it. 

Perhaps it was because she knew their secret. It was obvious, really. The way he held and watched the boy, who on paper was nothing but his fiancée's son, gave it all away. But it wasn't her place to judge so she didn't. 

And she always greeted him with a smile whenever he would join her in the nursery or outside in the gardens, or when she would bring the boy to him before putting him to sleep. 

This would have been the beginning of goodbye, only it wasn't. 

~

When she visited home a few weeks later, she was met with the shocking news that her fiancé had married someone else and moved away with her to London. 

The heartbreak was bad, but the shame was worse. 

"I see.", Mr. Shelby said, when she sat in his home office in front of him, her cheeks wet as she tried very hard to keep her voice composed. 

The sudden ending of her engagement meant she needed employment once more and it made her cheeks burn to ask for it. 

Mr. Shelby sighed deeply, smoke escaping his lips. 

"We have already found someone.", He mumbled, making her heart drop. 

He was a good employer and paid well, but she couldn't blame him, could she now?

"However, the change wouldn't be good for Charlie. You may continue your employment here."

Relief made her sniffle once more. 

"Now, now. No more of that, eh?", He insisted, getting up and walking around the desk. 

From his own suit pocket, he produced his handkerchief and dabbed her cheeks gently. 

"There. I know all too well how betrayal by someone you thought you loved hurts.", He said, his voice even softer than it normally was when speaking to her. 

His hand lingered on the side of her face from where it had tilted her face upward. 

It was so warm, and his eyes, those eyes the other servants claimed to be cold, were filled with nothing but compassion. 

His thumb traced her cheekbone. 

"But let me promise you this: while it is a hard lesson, it is a lesson you will never forget."

A lot of people had said a lot of things in the last few days, and she hadn't believed them. In a way, she didn't really believe that a man like him could have his heart broken too, but here he was, admitting it to her. And somehow she knew it was the truth. 

He only removed his hand when Ms Burgess entered, visibly upset about some order of flowers. 

Their wedding was shortly after Christmas and yet she wanted non-seasonal floral arrangements, which proved to be rather difficult. 

~

"Congratulations, Mr Shelby.", She offered when she saw him in the corridor. 

He turned in the spot, seeing her beam at him with the basket of clean laundry in her arm. 

"What are you doing with that, eh?", He asked. 

"Pitching in."

A lot of things had fallen off the edge in light of all the work that had to be done to make sure today would be absolutely perfect. 

"That's not your job.", He reminded her. 

Without another word, he took it from her hands. 

"I'm glad to help. A lot of the maids are too busy.", She argued. "I'd feel awful if I didn't help at least a little bit."

Once she had placed the sheets in the large wardrobe in the corridor and the towels in the appropriate bathrooms, all absolutely perfect for the guests. 

"I can take that now.", She assured him. "You are probably missed downstairs."

Mr. Shelby scoffed and shook his head. 

"They can drink my champagne on their own."

So he followed her back in the nursery where she took over from Jane, the maid who had actually been supposed to take care of the towels. But she had been on her feet since three a.m. that morning so a little chance to sit and get a bite to eat was more than welcome. 

"Sorry, Mr. Shelby.", She said at once. 

"'s alright.", He assured her as he sat down on the other chair. 

Still, Jane rushed to leave, leaving the three of them. 

"Shall we show your father how well you are doing with your walking, Charlie?", She asked, kneeling down in front of the boy before turning to the father again. 

"He can almost do it on his own."

Giving Charlie one hand of hers to hold, while the other was braced against the wall, he could hold his balance. 

Then step by step, he moved forward towards his toy horse. 

With a soft smile, Mr. Shelby crouched down too, opening his arms. 

"Come here, Charlie!", He encouraged, making the boy change directions. That meant he had to abandon the safety of the wall. 

Her hand went to his other hand, but Mr. Shelby shook his head. 

"Let him try with one hand.", He instructed and so she did. 

Charlie leaned heavily into her arm, but kept taking his steps, until he was in his father's arms. 

"Well done. Now back again.", He instructed, offering Charlie only one hand to hold onto. 

And once more Charlie made his way across the small space between them. 

As she stretched out her hands, she glanced up and saw his eyes, focussed not on his son, but on her. And she smiled before focussing her attention back on that darling little boy. 

~

The bad news came in the middle of chaos, although chaos seemed to be their constant state. Right after the wedding, the new Mrs Shelby was determined to start working on the foundation. While Mr Shelby’s money was the ticket into polite society, this work would keep them there, of that she was sure and so she poured every waking minute into it, and everytime she came to ask if perhaps she wanted to join her on a walk with Charlie or bathe or feed him, she was turned away. Some days, Mr Shelby saw him more than his mother did and that was saying something. 

And so it was him she turned to, with the letter in hand. 

He leaned back against the windowsill as he read through what her mother had written.

“How old is your aunt?”, he wanted to know. 

“Thirty - six.”, she responded, wringing her hands. 

“And now your mother wants you to go and help her?”

She nodded. 

“She can’t possibly do the household chores with a broken hip, and rear four children, Sir.”

“No, she can’t.”, he said with a sigh before sitting down at his desk. 

For a moment, he seemed to consider the implications, then he nodded. 

“And you’d take that on? Four children and a household, all the while playing nurse?”

That wasn’t a difficult question at all. 

“Of course, Sir! I don’t want to leave, but it’s family. That's what family is supposed to do."

Her words brought a hint of a smile to his lips. 

“That is very kind of you.”, he told her, making her cheeks flush. “But the truth is, I don’t want to see you go. I think it would be bad for Charlie.”

All softness had gone from his voice and he met her gaze with the same determination she had seen him use with his brothers 

She opened her mouth to argue, but he waved her off. 

“But since I understand your situation, and the conflict it brings, I would like to make you an offer.”

Those demanding blue eyes met hers again and she shuddered in anticipation. 

“I’ll pay for your aunt to hire some woman from the village to take care of her household and children. And I will increase your pay by 15% as I know you send all your earnings back to your family so that your mother won’t have to work so much. That increase would let her take another day off about another day a week, no? During that time she too can help your aunt.”

“Mr. Shelby-”, she insisted breathlessly, “that’s too much to ask! I couldn’t possibly accept that!”

But he only shook his head. 

“Don’t you worry. You just stay right here and tend to Charlie. The costs of letting you go would be far higher, to all of us.”

She tried to argue once more, but he wouldn’t have it and instead sent her off with a small smile, feeling dizzy from her luck. 

~

It was awful. No, it was worse than awful. It was horrific. 

Mrs Shelby had been so proud, so happy when it came time to leave for the foundation dinner, only to - 

She hadn’t believed it at first, not even when Mary told her. Only when bit by bit, the Shelbys came home. 

It took three days for anyone to spy Mr. Shelby. 

There had been strict instructions from his sister that no one was to talk to him, not even to offer their condolences. He wouldn’t want that. 

There was some comfort though, as Charlie seemed blissfully oblivious to everything, babbling and playing, giggling whenever she sung “This is how the Lady rides” and bounced him on her lap. She had been doing that when she saw him standing in the door and profusely apologised, with a burning face and a tightening chest. 

It had been on the mourning of the fourth day. He was wearing nothing but a working man's shirt and old saddleworn trousers, his eyes red and his cheeks sunken.

The poor man had lost his wife and here she was making his son laugh until he was breathless.

It just wasn’t right. It couldn’t be right. 

But instead of scolding her, of screaming or even striking her for her inappropriate behaviour, he had only ever placed a hand on her arm to sooth her, crouched down beside his son, stroked his hair and asked her to continue. 

It hadn’t been easy, at least not until Charlie was laughing again, but when she brought him up again, he had thrown himself into her chest, his whole body trembling with giggles. 

But Mr. Shelby hadn’t minded. Instead, he had only watched, his hand staying on her arm, his eyes on his son. 

“You’re a Godsend.”, he had called her on that fourth day before leaving, the hand moving to cup her cheek. And then he was gone. 

But he returned on the fifth day, and on the sixth and seventh and on every day thereafter, joining her in the nursery.  

Sometimes, he’d hold his son, sometimes he’d help her dress him or hold him or feed him. Sometimes he preferred to watch. 

But he always returned. 

For weeks it went like this, and she was the only person apart from his son, sister and aunt that he talked to. And the only adult he looked in the eyes while doing it. 

She had seen him shrug off his aunt’s hand on his arm, while his own found her shoulder or back, brushed against her fingers as they exchanged toys or clothes, just as he never really met his sister’s eyes, while they didn’t shy away from hers. 

A godsend, he called her, a blessing, a stroke of luck, once even saying that she was the only thing that still held all this together. 

She had tried to argue, but he had insisted. She cared for Charlie and that was all that mattered now. He hadn’t allowed her room for argument in that, and in his situation, she couldn’t blame him for putting his son above all others. 

“Without you, all this would fall apart.”, he had said and she hadn’t even considered leaving, until it was her only thought- from one night to the other. 

~

It was the noise that woke her, the shouting and slamming of doors. 

Her eyes darted to the door that connected her small bedroom to Charlie's nursery, before she remembered that he was staying with Mr. Shelby's older brother and his wife. 

Wrapping a scarf around her shoulders, she stepped out of her bedroom in search of the cause for this commotion. 

In the chilly darkness of the corridor, she could hear them long before she could see them, arguing in the hall. 

"Listen to me- eh!", Mr. Shelby roared, but stopped talking as soon as he heard her approaching. 

She could see him standing close to the foot of the stairs, wearing crumpled trousers, his bare chest revealing tattoos she had never known him to have, his dark hair ruffled. 

Her eyes followed his outstretched hand to a woman who was standing in the middle of the hall. 

She had never seen her before but it wasn't difficult to place her, after all, a Russian Duchess as a houseguest made the rounds quickly. 

She was wearing Mr. Shelby's coat and little more, her messy dark hair fell down her shoulders, her dark makeup was slightly smudged and her black eyes shone in the darkness. 

"Oi,", he called out, "Back to bed, now!", He ordered and she was about to obey, when the Duchess laughed and stretched her arm out, and in it she held a gun, casually as if it was a pen. 

All air was knocked from her lungs and she froze. 

"You there, pour us a drink!", She insisted. 

Her heart thundered in her chest, as she felt hawkish dark eyes locking in on her. 

When her dark lips turned into a smile, she felt her stomach coil. 

"No, get back to bed!", Mr. Shelby insisted. 

Her eyes darted back and forth between them. She knew his word was final, but he wasn't the one with the gun. 

"I told you to come here!", the Duchess snarled, her voice strained with impatience. 

Her chest tightened as she felt frightened tears come to her eyes. 

Her whole body trembled as she took a few uncertain steps forward, not daring to take her eyes away from the woman. 

She had barely reached the middle of the stairs, when Mr Shelby stopped her, blocking her descent with his body as his hand found her waist, feeling her body tremble. 

"Go to bed.", He told her. "Go."

"She has a gun.", She whimpered, blinking the tears away. 

"You should listen to her, Tommy!", the Duchess giggled. 

While glancing down, she saw her twirl her hair around the gun as if it was nothing. 

"You know in Russia, the lady of the house took care to have pretty maids and ugly nannies.", She chirped, as if this was as casual a setting as a lesson in good manners. 

It made her heart beat so fast she feared it would rip through her chest. Either that or give out forever. 

But it was a desperate, almost painful hope that made her look up through teary eyes at the only other person in the room, the only person that might save her. 

He’d tell her she was wrong, he’d take the gun from her, he’d make her stop. 

Mr. Shelby's jaw tightened, but he kept his distance, his eyes following the gun. 

"The only men who had pretty nannies were the widowers. That way there were no problems."

"Come on!", Mr. Shelby insisted, practically pushing her back up the stairs, while blocking the Duchess from sight, his hand burning in her back and arm. 

But he couldn't stop her from hearing the other woman's venom. 

"I do wonder why you hired your pretty little nanny far before your wife died."

"Go, go. It's alright.", He promised, as they came close to the top. "Go to bed. I won't let her bother you."

She ran the last few steps, and as soon as she was around the corner she pressed herself against the wall, but even that didn't still her trembling hands. 

Move, she told herself. Go. Hide. Do as he said. 

But her body had developed a will of its own, trembling like a leaf and frozen to the spot, as if all its strength was focussed on not crying out in fear or sobbing in desperation. She clasped a hand over her mouth and tried to calm her breathing. 

She could still hear them arguing, the Duchess teasing and Mr. Shelby trying to calm her down. 

"I thought it was me you wanted to dress up as her but it was that little thing up there all along.", She heard and her hand muffled her whimper. 

~

It was as if the Duchess had ripped open a drawer of her memory and had spread their contents all over the floor, forcing her to pick them all up again, look them over and rearrange them. 

Only on second glance, in this light, they all looked different, not explicit but doubtful. 

He had always been a good and kind employer, but what if there was some truth in what the Duchess had said? 

What if there even was a hint? 

It wasn't right- it couldn't be right. 

And she couldn't allow herself to be pulled in. 

So she had kept an eye out, wrote her letters, a few to the announcements in the papers, and another to him to explain her reasoning. 

It was easier to write than saying it to his face.  But of course, she couldn't hope to evade him forever. 

Mr Sheoby came while they were spending some time outside, sitting in the open air on a thick woollen blanket, both her and Charlie bundled up against the lingering yet fading winter cold. 

The first flowers had begun to come out now, and not even this place could escape the wind of change that carried spring each year. 

Beside her, Charlie was busy playing with the little wooden cubes, happily babbling to himself. That made it hard- harder than it should have been. 

She heard the steps before she saw the shadow, easily identifiable to her. She still could not meet his eyes, even if it was rude. 

When she didn't react to his satisfaction, he decided to clear his throat. 

"Might I join?", He asked impatiently. 

"Of course, Mr. Shelby. I'm sure you son would like that."

He sat down far too close to her for her liking, the fabric of his trousers almost brushing against her knee in the process. 

Instead of paying attention to Charlie, he simply stared at her. 

She didn't do him the favour of looking at him. She couldn’t. Her cheeks were burning with shame. 

"I gather you received my letter.”, she whispered, taking a deep breath to brace herself for whatever was to come now. 

"Good.", She said, staring straight ahead, to the trees and the river that lay beyond.

"I've decided to reject it."

He said it without anger, without malice. At best, he sounded annoyed that he had to deal with it in the first place, like she had somehow stretched the limitations of his patience with her request. 

"You can't reject a resignation.", She insisted. 

"Well I fucking do.", He said, sounding more exhausted than angry. 

She took a shaky breath and focussed on the treeline. Her hands had begun to tremble again and so she clutched the fabric of her dress. 

"I understand, you're upset and you have every right to be but you are needed here.”

“I want to leave.”, she insisted. 

Her voice cracked and she glanced away, clutching a hand over her mouth. 

But she refused to cry in front of him. 

"I understand.", He said, surprisingly gentle. "I understand your wish to leave, but I can't let that happen. So I'll let you draw up a number, any number, and I will see it in your account or your family's account by the end of the week. As high as you like. You could set them up for life if you want to.”

She felt like the ground had shifted under her once more and she was falling again. 

"I am not a thing to be bought and paid for.", She hissed. "I am a person and as a person, I have the right to decide and I have decided not to continue my employment here."

With you. 

He stared at her with that unreadable expression of his, those cold, unyielding eyes burning into her soul. 

"Are you finished?", He asked, sounding almost bored once more. "Good."

She felt her heart clench as his words. 

"I won't allow you to abandon Charles and that's the end of it.", he merely stated. 

"It's not yours to allow!", She said a little louder than she had intended, her voice thinning as her resolve slipped more and more. 

Charlie's head peaked up and he looked to her, his own summer sky blue eyes staring at her. 

"I will leave, Sir, and never come back.", She told him. 

His jaw muscles tightened as he stared at her profile, his piercing gaze burning itself into her skin just like the memories of that night that burned themselves into her soul. 

"I have to go now, but when I return, we talk."

"There is nothing to talk about.", She whispered as he got to his feet. 

"We will talk when I return tomorrow.", He said sternly, before walking off. 

~

Only Mr. Shelby didn’t return. 

She had her suitcases packed and went down to the kitchens to retrieve the sandwiches Mrs O’Sullivan had promised her for her journey when she heard the whispers - Mr. Shelby was dead, beaten to death by thugs in the street. 

It had shocked them all to their core, leaving them in paralysed uncertainty, and her in tears not for the man, but the little boy upstairs. Both parents dead within months was a harsh fate to suffer. 

The truth had come later, in the form of Mrs. Thorne who had told her the truth of it. Mr Shelby was very badly hurt and might die. When she found out of her plans to leave, she had begged her to stay given the seriousness of the situation. Once they knew what would become of Mr. Shelby, they could decide what to do about a replacement. 

And so she stayed, for Charlie’s sake. Otherwise he’d be left entirely without any constant person in his life and she couldn’t do that to him. But she should have done. 

~

She had agreed with Mrs Thorne that she would stay until a decision for her replacement could be made and that meant until Mr Shelby was well enough to look through candidates again, which he actually began to do. 

Once she saw that, she made preparations to leave in two weeks time. 

Five days before her departure, he called her into his office. 

"Have you found a new nanny for Charlie?", She asked, after sitting down across from him just like he had bid her. 

Mr. Shelby shook his head. 

"There's not much time left before I leave.", She told him. 

His response came ever calm, ever cool. 

"You won't leave."

Her heart skipped a beat. 

"Mr. Shelby, we've been through this.", She said. 

Too many times.

Slowly, Thomas Shelby turned back from the window and faced her, nodding towards a dark red file on his desk. 

"What is that?", She asked. 

"Take a read.", He said, leaning back and observing. 

She felt her heart thunder as she reached for it, fearing for whatever would be found inside, but to her surprise it was a letter of enrolment to one of the best schools for young girls in the country, a school of higher education with excellent recommendation and frightening prices. 

This letter was confirmation between the school and Mr. Shelby that the payment for the full enrollment of her sisters until their respective ages of graduations had been paid for. 

She stared up at him wide-eyed but before she could form any response he nodded towards the folder. 

“Keep reading.”, she demanded. 

She turned the page and skimmed the words. 

Next, she found another letter, this time to a name painfully familiar to her, a name she had heard all her life and one she had up to this point associated with kindness and generosity, with understanding of their situation. 

It was the name of her landlord, or rather the man that owned the land her family lived on and farmed. 

And unlike the previous letter, this deal had been sent and answered, confirming that the ownership had been transferred from him to Mr. Shelby, with an agreement not to inform the tenants and asking what was to be done about it- if they really had to remove them from the property. 

The authentic signature was like a stab to her stomach and the blood in her ears began to rush. 

As she had read, Mr. Shelby had moved across the desk to lean against it. 

"You see that there are two ways this can go?", He asked, calmly, as her chest began to tighten. 

Her lip began to tremble and she forced her burning eyes shut. 

“As long as you stay here, your sisters will be taken care of. Your mother won’t need to pay a dime in rent while I will make sure they have every comfort and renovation they could possibly want. Or…-”

He needn’t spell it out. 

His hand found her shoulders in an almost reassuring manner, as if he was the source of her comfort and not the sole cause of her troubles. 

He took the file from her shaking hands, placing it back on his desk amongst countless others- another box ticked business deal completed.

"I knew you'd understand."

The way he sounded, filled with not just pride but relief, made her sick to her stomach. 

He continued holding her shoulders between his hands as if to ease her tension, letting her look out at the vast lands of the Arrow House Estate. She had once liked the fact that one could look for miles and see nothing. 

"You belong here.", He told her as if it was meant to assure her. 

"Please, Mr. Shelby.", She whispered, whimpered even as her tears began to fall. 

“It’s not right. It’s just not right. Let me go home. Please.”

He only sighed in response, so she tried once more. She had to. 

“There are a thousand women like me, better suited to the task. Please Sir, think of your wife. She wouldn’t want-”

His grip tightened so suddenly it made her wince as he pulled her up to stand, spinning her around to face him. 

She saw anger flash in his pale blue eyes, and froze as he placed a single fingers on her lips. 

“Don’t.”, he said softly, and yet she wasn’t so foolish as to miss the warning that lay in them. 

“You know this is for the best.”, he assured her, gentle once more as he began to stroke the tears from her cheeks. 

When she shook her head, he held it between his hands until she couldn’t do so anymore. 

"Why me?", She dared to ask, forcing the words out through trembling lips. “I have nothing I could offer you. Please!”

He seemed almost amused by her answer and gave his response in the way one would talk to a child. 

"Because you are untouched by all the dirt, by all the filth. No blood on your hands. You are so pure."

She didn't feel pure now. 

She felt filthy, body and soul. 

Hot tears began to spill once more and instead of being appalled or angry, he pulled her into a tight, almost comforting embrace and let her cry, while gently stroking over the back of her head. 

I should have left long ago, she thought bitterly, her fingernails digging into the palms of your hand. I should have left when you were weak and wounded and dying. I should have left and never looked back. 

But she hadn’t. She had been too weak, too soft. And now it was too late. 

"I know you're upset.", He soothed. "But I think you understand too. You know this is what's best for everyone. After all, I couldn't have you breaking Charlie's heart."

End.

~

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed and as always I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Taglist

Overall

@lilyrachelcassidy @jyessaminereads @chlorrox @watercolorskyy @books-livre @quarterpastmidnight  @lilyevanswhore  @polishcrazyone  @zablife  @just-a-harmless-patato  @stevie75 @flyingjosephine-blog @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @alex-in-the-wilderness @babayaga67 @butterfly-skinnylegend

Tommy

@knowledgefulbutterfly @babayaga67 @signorellisantichrist @lespendy @geeksareunique @look-at-the-soul

[ifthiswingscouldfly]

Summertime with Ikevamp boys

Genre: Fluff/fun/summer

Characters: Comte's + Vlad's mansion

Warning: None

°••°~°••°~°••°~°••°~°••°~°••°~°••~°••°~°•

It was Comte's idea to have an enjoyable summer because after all all his beloved residents need to take a break from their jobs.

Sebastian and MC would probably ask Isaac and Napoleon to help them get the stuff ready.

Leonardo was the one who bought the tickets and this time everyone is going to get on the train.

Jean and Mozart never liked the idea of being there but they joined after the whole mansion insisted on them to be there.

Arthur was so excited because he could flirt with women there.

Arthur teased MC/you because he heard that Comte gifted her/you a bikini and she blushed because of that.

Dazai was planning to take his beloved chicken there but he back down when sebastian told him not to.

Vincent was so happy about the idea and he took tons of color and books to draw upon them.

Shakespeare was invited too because he was Comte's first child and papa Comte can't go nowhere without his child.

Shakespeare would thank Comte for the invitation and ask if he can help the other suitors.

Vlad knew about the vacation from Shakespeare and decided to make it as a surprise.

Charles was excited for the vacation because he could spend time with the MC and Vincent.

Vincent was so sad that he had to leave his pet animal brush behind and he almost cried for leaving him.

Theo had to relax himself because the stress he put himself under could kill a man.

But can Arthur leave him alone?. No no no.

Faust felt stupid because of how much most of them are excited and he stayed at Vlad's mansion not wanting to be with them.

At the train station and instead of using the door Dazai entered via the window that he got stuck there and asked Arthur for help.

Isaac slammed his forehead after seeing how Dazai loves to embarrass himself.

But anyways, Theo and Arthur managed to pull him from inside the train.

Mozart and Jean would ask MC to set with them in the cabinet since they said it would be better for her than setting with the other stupid suitors.

But they ended up setting with each other including sebastian with them.

Comte and Leonardo was already with MC at the same cabinet.

Napoleon, Isaac, Vincent was together.

Theo, Arthur and Dazai in other cabinet.

While Vlad, Charles and Shakespeare was setting alone because they wanted to keep their presence as surprise for Comte.

Mozart would write music notes while sebastian would engage in teaching Jean how to read more fluently.

Leonardo was sleeping the whole time and when he woke up he teased theshitoutof MC.

Comte never set at the cabinet all the time he would go and indulge himself in conversations with the other suitors.

Vincent enjoyed sketching the suitors while his beloved Theo almost killed Arthur and Dazai because they teased him too much.

And when the train arrived at the destination; Dazai did stick himself again out of the window instead of using the door which resulted for Theo and Arthur to pull him again and he ended up falling from the window's height on Theo and Arthur.

The suitors almost forgot to wake Leonardo up since most of them were busy taking their stuff out.

MC really wanted to wear the bikini Comte gifted her but she was too shy since Arthur teased so much.

When Jean's heard that Comte gifted MC a bikini he almost attacked him calling him a "slut" and "disrespectful" but fortunately Napoleon was there to pull him away before committing a crime.

Isaac enjoyed making sand castle with MC on the beach even though he denied the fact.

Arthur and Dazai almost drowned Isaac in the sea by trying to teach him how to "swim".

Napoleon and Sebastian went to bring some drinks since Vlad's jokes were so dry.

Shakespeare and Vincent was enjoying the sight of the sea; one is writing poems and the other is painting.

Arthur after almost drowning Isaac went to flirt with a couple of women.

Dazai asked Toshiko-San if it is okay to teach her how to swim. But Leonardo ended up taking the charge of that.

Leonardo tried to teach MC how to swim but was interrupted by everyone because all of them tried to teach her at the same time poor MC/you.

Later that afternoon and when the sun started to set Comte prepared a barbecue party and all of the residents enjoyed the night.

Mozart was too bored because he left his dear piano at the mansion and he couldn't have a smaller instrument to play so he suggested someone to sing something.

Charles agreed but ended up being unprepared so Mozart stopped him from singing.

Arthur and Theo ended up singing while Isaac was looking how dumb they looked.

Vincent sing too and his voice was so comforting.

Vincent woke up early that day to draw the sunrise and he saw MC there alone wearing her gifted bikini and swimming by herself.

He had to sketch that too.

Sebastian couldn't rest for a moment since the baby residents can't stop fighting and nagging.

Vlad never stopped teasing Comte about how bad the residents are, and how chaotic they are.

The trip ended up well but Comte will never do it again since all of the residents at some point was annoying.

°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°•☆°

Post date: Apr/10th/2024

Day: Wednesday

☆ Side Note:

I really liked the idea of writing this for summer. Anyways this is an old draft I wrote last year but was too busy to post it. I hope you liked it. Stay safe 🙏🏼 ❤.

M

[mychlapci]

During the war, nearly every mech had some kind of frame modification at some point, either for weapon attachments or just to keep from becoming obsolete. At one point it was standard that bots had excess fuel pouches on their chest, but with the energon shortages from the war not allowing anyone to store excess fuel and the rise of MTO bots not being built with pouches at all, they fell out of style.

All that to say, on the lost light there's a day where Tailgate's running a little hot going too hard with his buddies and pops his chest plates to let his tits breathe and it makes everyone stare. For most mechs it's been forever since they've seen a nice pair of pouches and for others they had never seen any at all. Tailgate doesn't get what the fuss is or why Cyclonus is telling him to put them away, back in his day they were just a regular part of cybertronian anatomy. Swerve has to break it to him (tell him very loudly where everyone can hear) that the mod fell out of use and now the only mechs you ever see with pouches are shareware bots with pretty little pouches to show off to horny customers. Tailgate's huge naturals being a showstopper makes way more sense to him now, he's super embarrassed, but how was he supposed to know?

Tailgate is all bummed out later in his hab and whines to Cyclonus about it. He's not just upset he can't leave his chest playing open when he wants, he's sad he can't even share his excess energon with bots he cares for. Letting bots drink from your excess energon supply was a way to form strong bonds, it was a deeply connecting act that Tailgate can't engage with because he woke up outdated. Cyclonus can only listen to him complain for so long before he takes pity on Tailgate. Cyclonus never had frame upgrades or modifications, so he never got rid of his original pieces.

He pops his plating apart and offers to let Tailgate drink if it really means so much to him. Tailgate lights up at the offer and practically crawls up Cyclonus before the bigger mech just picks him up. Tailgate's mouth port was the perfect shape to fit Cyclonus' nozzle, it was even easier than using a straw for his energon. When he had his fill he would be sure to return the offer to Cyclonus, sharing your energon was a two way street after all. It definitely makes Tailgate feel closer to Cyclonus being held and allowed to nurse off of him.

yes! that's so good. i do love the occasional cygare content we get on here, they're so adorable. I do love to imagine that they're the two old rustbuckets with the oldest tits on the ship... if no one else will let Tailgate let his boobies breathe and help empty them, Cyclonus can help, just to make him stop whining. But really, he likes it. Tailgate is so small in his arms, fits perfectly in his lap, and that intake port has excellent suction.

Of course, after Tailgate has nursed from Cyclonus, it's only right he returns the favour and lets Cyclonus nurse from him. Which takes a little more convincing.

[dollypopup]

I think something we don't talk enough about is just how relatable it is that Colin's completely lost in life and is also just 22 years old. His whole thing in the books was that he was 33 and running away from his responsibilities, not wanting to be in just one place, least of all Mayfair, and frustrated at himself for being aimless and unsure of his future. But that just doesn't work in the same way in the show because. . . who of us wasn't unsure and adrift in our early twenties?

Of course he doesn't know what to do with his life. Did any of us? Personally speaking, I certainly didn't. The modern equivalent is that he almost got married in his undergrad and then finished his degree studying abroad when the engagement fell apart. He was sad and disappointed in himself. He is one of eight siblings, those of whom are around his age already more successful than he is. His eldest brother is the head of the family, his elder brother was in art school and close to his siblings, his younger sister is married with a title. His other younger sister is embroiled in political efforts and another is about to make her debut in society and will also be wildly successful.

Colin is deeply, deeply relatable. He wants to live up to the expectations of his family, expectations that are, in many ways, in his own head. He's a middle child, frequently lost in the shuffle. A chronic people pleaser who just wants to bring some ease. Sure, we have Chaos Colin, but in Season 1 and 2, all he really wants is to be useful. He doesn't have much use in his familial dynamic, so he looks to be useful to other people- Will and Penelope in particular.

I think there's a lot about Colin that, once you scratch beneath the surface, is a reflection of a lot of people. He's unmoored, yes, but especially in our current time, that is incredibly common. He's a young man trying to find his foothold in the world, and nothing he does seems to fulfill that. Colin tries to drink like Benedict, but it doesn't make him happy. He tries to marry like his Mum preaches about, like Daphne is expected to, and it's looked down on. He tries to travel, to be a worldly, educated person, and it doesn't bring him peace. He writes, but not to share with anyone, least of all after he gets so few replies. If his own family doesn't want to hear or read his recollections. . .who will?

We talk about wanting to see Colin humbled in our fandom. . .but let's be honest, he is already humbled. Colin is, for most intents and purposes, alone. He's lost his father and his previous engagement, his mother hardly notices him, he's curled in the shadow of his siblings, he tries things and none of them capture his heart or reveal themselves as his talents, nothing he seems to do is ever good enough. I think almost everyone can find something about him to go 'wow, that's me'.

Colin is discovering who he is, and I'm curious as to his story and how they're going to take it, because so much of the book dynamic with him just can't fit. Sure, he can be jealous of Penelope's success, she's younger than him and seemingly found her purpose, is much more established than he is as a person, but beyond that? I love book Colin deeply, but 22 year old Colin and 33 year old Colin have different struggles and different dynamic. Colin's not a rake. He doesn't frequent brothels or break hearts. Hell, in S2 he even said he's just a bystander, not taking part in any flirting or conversation with women looking to be married (save for Pen). His reputation as a flirt isn't established like it is in the books, and he's struggling to make sense of himself. He's not running from the yoke like his book counterpart, and the argument between him and Pen, in which she accuses him of running away to avoid his responsibilities, just doesn't hold water the same way. He's a confused, lost man, doing his best and trying his best and falling flat on his face. That speaks to a lot of us.

I don't know, I just love both versions of him dearly, and I hope the show allows him the depth of nuance he deserves.

[whenanafallsinlove]

hihi ana!! congratulations on 150!! can i get..

✒️"SAD PROSE" - send a character + your favorite folklore lyric, and I'll write a short blurb

with hitoshi & “the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you” from betty !! 🤍🤍

ahhh tysm elle! sending looove <3

✒️"SAD PROSE" - send a character + your favorite folklore lyric, and I'll write a short blurb

THE ONLY THING I WANNA DO IS MAKE IT UP TO YOU!!! -HITOSHI SHINSO x reader

"Please babe, I swear it wasn't on purpose!"

Shinso had been apologizing for the last hour, but you were still too angry and worried to even look him in the eye and engage in the conversation.

You continued walking through campus, looking in every corner, with a mopy Hitoshi by your side.

"Tell me how to help, I'm really sorry." He continued.

You sighed, and stopped on your tracks. You turned around to see him and finally find two seconds of patience to talk to him.

"Toshi, I know you're sorry. But right now I'm still angry and I don't feel like having a heart to heart; I feel like finding my cat before something happens to him." You turned around again and continue your walk.

Hitoshi knew he had messed up. You and him often had sleepovers in each other's rooms, loving to spend time together playing video games, reading, watching movies... But you always fell asleep too early, at least for Shinso's liking. So, whenever his insomnia was making it too hard for him to pass the night, he went out to the balcony and let the cool air swirl away his thoughts.

You never had a problem with that, you had even accompanied him in a couple of occasions. The only thing you had asked him was that he was careful with closing your balcony door, so your cat wouldn't take the opportunity to sneak out.

And, oops! This time he had completely forgotten about your cat (strangely, since he loved it too), and as you had predicted he escaped...

So now, while strolling through the entire campus you could only wish that 1. Your cat was okay; and 2. That a professor wouldn't find it, because you would probably have to give it out.

You weren't even that mad, you were just too worried. And Hitoshi's neverending apologizing was only irritating you more.

"Please, Y/n. I'll tell the others to help us, we'll make a search party. The only thing I wanna do, is make it up to you..." Shinso almost whispered, about to give up.

You took a deep breath, feeling guilty for making your boyfriend almost beg for your forgiveness, when he was probably as worried as you and already feeling accountable for the situation.

You walked up to him and hugged him; burying your face in his neck. He was startled by your sudden change of attitude, but he felt relieved, and hugged you back.

"I really am sorry, I promise you we will find him." He spoke again, giving you a small kiss on the temple.

You moved your face to meet his gaze.

"Stop apologizing; it's fine. I know he won't be missing for long." You said, offering a smile.

"What are you two problem children doing here? You're supposed to be at the dorms, aren't you?" A voice behind you spoke, making you falter and break away from Hitoshi.

It was Aizawa. But he was not alone; he was holding your cat.

You felt the blood from your face drop, but before the situation got worse, your boyfriend intervened.

"Ah... Sensei, can I talk to you for a moment?" He said, and Aizawa raised an eyebrow, before nodding.

Shinso and him walked away a few meters, and you couldn't understand what they were saying; but suddenly, you saw Aizawa handing your cat to Shinso, while he gave him a scolding look. Shinso then thanked the professor and started to walk back at you, with a grin on his face.

"Told you I would make it up."

"Shush. I'm just glad he didn't get lost. What did Aizawa say?"

"He said that if he sees it roaming around ever again, he's taking it."

"Oh."

"Yeah." He shrugged. "Don't you think I deserve a kiss for rescuing our son from getting kidnapped, tho?" Hitoshi spoke, with a smirk on his face.

"Ew! Don't say it like that!" You smacked his arm laughing, and kissing him anyway.

[sheeple]

Miracles don't exist | 39: Till Death do us part

Genre(s): Riddle!reader / Slytherin!reader / kinda slowburn / little happy moments Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Theodore Nott x Reader / Harry Potter x Riddle!reader Summary: Being the Dark Lord's daughter and raised under the strict supervision of the Malfoy's is no easy life. Especially if you start crushing on your father's arch-nemesis, Harry Potter. And that while being engaged to one of his follower’s sons. Warning(s): An abortion mention / it's maybe a bit fast-paced at some parts [Masterlist] [Mini masterlist] [Playlist]

You sit next to Theo on a bench, your head leaning against his shoulder as the two of you share a hot chocolate. Your eyes are trained on Sirius, who's sitting with Tonks and Lupin, the both of them huddled together.

A heavy feeling sits in your chest. Because they've escaped death by an inch of their life. Like you and Theodore. You could easily have ended up dead, laying on stretchers covered by a white cloth. Next to each other but still never together again.

Harry has stormed off somewhere after seeing Lupin and it broke you to see Sirius that hurt.

You watch how the Weasley family mourn over the death of their son. You watch how Madam Pomfrey flutters around and heals wounds and breaks. You also watch Hermione and Ron seek comfort in each other's arms and walk out of the Great Hall.

"Do you want a refill?" Theo puts a strand of hair behind your ear.

With a shake of your head, you push the blanket off your shoulders that covers both of you. "No. I have to speak with Hermione and Ron. Give me a minute."

But as you stand up, Theo follows after you. "I'm not letting you leave my sight. From this moment out, we're going together. Okay?"

You nod and grab his hand, pulling him with you. Outside of the Great Hall, you see them and Harry discuss something that's just outside of earshot.

Creeping up the stairs, you hide behind walls and pillars.

"Are you mad? No!", you hear Ron say and you pull Theo behind a wall, finger to your lips. "You can't give yourself up to him."

Hermione and Ron follow after Harry as he slowly walks down the stairs. "What is it, Harry? What is it that you know?", she asks, a sad look on her face.

"There is a reason I can hear them, the Horcruxes. Why the both of us can hear them. I think I've known for a while. And I think you have too."

Hermione lets out a whimper as tears fill her eyes. "I'll go with you."

"No. Kill the snake. Then it's just him. And her. Promise me you make it quick. Don't make her suffer."

You stumble back, not believing your ears. Theo manages to catch you in time before you give away your presence. "What does he mean? What's going on?"

In some deep, dark part of your brain, you've always known you were a Horcrux. That was the special mission he had for you. That's why he never sent you out. Because you have a part of his soul.

And now you have to die.

You look at Theo with tears in your eyes. How are you going to tell him? Would he do it for you? You would much rather have your husband do it than Hermione or Ron or a random Death Eater.

You take his hand and pull him away from the main staircase. You make your way towards a classroom that has a still intact door. Leaning against the door, you let out a deep sigh.

"My love, you have to tell me what's wrong. What were they talking about?" Theo takes your face in his hands and wipes away the tears from your cheeks.

You swallow thickly. "Have you ever heard about Horcurxes?", you begin. After he shakes his head, you continue. "Horcruxes are objects that house a part of a wizard's soul. With a Horcrux, a wizard becomes immortal."

You wait a moment for it to click for Theodore. "So… Voldemort has a Horcrux?"

"Multiple", you nod, "which most are already destroyed. Three are left. Nigini is one. Harry Potter is also one-" Your voice breaks at the end.

He shakes his head, picking up what you're implying. "What is the last one? (Y/n) tell me, what is the last one?" He grabs your shoulders and slightly shakes you.

Your silence makes him drop his head, resting on your shoulder. He shakes while holding you close. Closing your eyes, you clutch the back of his shirt, you let your tears soak the fabric.

Suddenly, Theo pushes himself away and starts moving around with a determined look on his face. "I have an idea. It's crazy, but it's something."

Your shoulders slump. "Teddy… Nothing can be done about it. How much I wish there was a way…" You trail off, not wanting to think too much about it.

"What if, and let me finish before you protest, we trick Death. There is this potion I saw people frequently use to fake their death when Death Eaters came roaming around town. Draught of Living Death. It produces a sleep so powerful it looks like the drinker has died.

"What if we use the potion and get you into a deathlike slumber? That way you've technically died, without dying."

You run a hand through your hair, not knowing what to do with the suggestion. You remember the potion from last year's classes. How it was pretty tricky to make. Even Hermione couldn't do it.

"Do you think the Potions supply cupboard is still intact?", you question with a small smile as you hold out your hand. Theo gives you a smile back as he takes your hand and pulls you out of the classroom.

The two of you hurry towards the basement. You stumble a couple of times over debris but in the end, you manage to get to the Potion's classroom in one piece.

"You grab the supplies, I grab the ingredients", says Theodore after managing to find a potions book.

The two of you scatter around the classroom setting up the station. You've lit the fire and made sure the cauldron is secured in place by the time Theo's collected all the ingredients.

"This is the last bit of sloth brain so this batch has to be it", says Theo in earnest.

You work together in silence. Cutting and crushing the ingredients while the other manages the temperature. The temperature in the classroom rises significantly and you shrug off your jacket.

Theo seems distracted for a moment before you snap him out of it. He gives you a sneaky smile while you roll your eyes.

After a while, the potion goes from pale lilac to clear to black as a signal it's done. Theo bottles it with a shaking hand and holds the vial up to the light. The potion is so black that no light is able to penetrate.

"Do you… do you have the antidote?", you ask while holding the vial. A green bottle gets pulled from Theo's inner pocket and he shakes it. "Wiggenweld Potion? It's that easy?"

Theo shrugs his shoulders. "Sometimes it is."

You conjure a small mattress and pillow on the floor and go sit on it. Playing with the vial, the severity of the situation dawns on you.

"Half an hour. After thirty minutes I'm pouring the Wiggenweld down your throat." Theo helps bring the black potion to your lips, but you stop him just before giving him one last kiss. It could well be your last one.

The potion tastes vile and you gag while Theo helps you lay down. As drowsyness settles over you, you reach out and grab his hand. "I love you", you whisper before the lights go out.

When you open your eyes again, it's blindingly white. Squinting, you go to sit up and a hand appears. Following the hand, you gasp as Tom Riddle stands before you. You scramble up and make space between you and him.

"What are you doing here?" Your voice echoes around. Where even are you.

Your eyes travel around and it looks like it's the beach. Looking down, you're barefoot and in a white sundress. It's weird how white everything is. Even the ocean.

"Why are we here?"

Tom Riddle comes to stand next to you. He puts his hands in his trousers as he watches over the water. "I don't know. You called me here."

That makes you frown. Why would you call the younger version of your father towards some weird hallucination of the beach at the beach house?

"I must say, it's smart how you tricked me. Draught of Living Death." He lets out a laugh while shaking his head.

Blinking, you stare at him. How you tricked him? Does he mean… Voldemort? Or..?

"You're Death", you sound breathless, eyes wide and face pale.

Tom Riddle — Death — looks at you with a charming smile as he reaches out to grab your hand. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Riddle." He brings your hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on your knuckles.

It's so weird. This is weird.

"You must ask yourself why this version of him, right?", Death muses, a half smile on his face. He has his hands clasped behind his back again. "You never had a connection with him or an affinity with his younger years. So why this?"

You must admit that he's right. But then again, Death is almost always right.

"It's because I associate him with death. And at least now you're pleasant to look at. That's the first thing that comes to mind, at least." You give Death an awkward smile and he belly laughs.

He full-on throws his head back and laughs out loud. A wide smile on his face, which is remarkably contagious. By the end of it, both you and Death stand next to each other, toes in the sand and laughing loudly.

You lick your lips. "I never expected death to be this joyful."

Death cocks his head to the side. "Oh but Miss Riddle, this is not death. Yes, you are dead. The potion you and your husband brew was a little bit too strong." The joyous way he says it sends a chill down your spine.

"So- so what is this then?" You look around you, but nothing is there.

He straightens his back and points over your shoulder. Far in the distance, you see something lying. It's small and crumpled up. You at Death and he gives you a motivating nod.

Slowly, the two of you walk towards the thing. The closer you get the more you see it's something of a bloody foetus. Some abortion abomination.

Looking back at Death, you raise a single eyebrow. "What's this?"

He crouches down and looks at it. "It seems like it is the part of Voldemort's soul that has managed to latch itself onto your own. Pathetic isn't it?"

You scrunch your nose. "More disgusting seems like. Do I need to destroy it in order to get rid of it?"

Death stands up again and faces you. "No. It's already dying. Your part here is done. I'll send you back now."

"You're letting me go?", you ask surprised.

"Miss Riddle, many may say I'm evil, but I'm not cruel. I recognise it's not your time yet. Not for many, many years."

A small smile grows on your face. "Thank you. I would hate to leave Teddy behind."

The world around you starts to become brighter and brighter and Death slowly fades. You close your eyes and when you open them again, you're face to face with a teary-eyed Theodore.

A relieved sob escapes him once he sees your eyes and he cradles you tightly to his body. "Yo- you died. Your heart stopped. I-I lost you. I lost you", he sobs, rubbing his chin over your head. You let him run his course, happy to be back on earth again.

"He said our potion was too strong. We've made it too well."

Theo abruptly releases you and looks at you with big eyes. "Who? Who said that?"

Licking your lips, you hold his hand. "Death. He said I was dead but that it wasn't my time."

Theo looks at you like you've gone crazy so you pull him closer to you to kiss him. "You know what I said to him?", you ask between kisses. "That I would hate to leave you. So you're stuck with me for many, many years."

A sad laugh escapes him. "God I hope so."

Taglist (bold means I couldn’t tag you): @the0doreslover @lqndkxlmqma @st4rrry  @choppedpartymuffinwinner @ledtassoo @literallyobessed @lestat-whore​ @vanishingcherry @harrysnovia @pietrobae @ireallywannasleep127 @yeolsbubbles @fruityfrog505 @fluffybunnyu @theroyalmanatee @shinrjj @hegdus @kermits-bitch @m1kasawps @noah-uhhh-what @mypolicemanharryyy @fals3-g0d @decapitated-coffee @thatgirljas13 @slytherinambitious @raineisms @mastermindmiko @timmytime17 @regsg18 @supernatural-lover @bubybubsters @lafrone @hermionelove @the-sander-fander @akengii @aliciacat20 @unstablereader @burns-in-the-sun @rachelnicolee @damagelove @mqndrqke @llpovi @clairesjointshurt @222244445555 @jolly4holly @padf00ts-l0ver @fandom-life-12 @prettyb1tchsblog @pari-1 @f14ever @nopedefe @randomgurl2326 @rinalouu @yazminetrahan @ellen3101 @comfyvic

[hannahbarberra162]

Can't Fix Fix A Broken Heart, Chapter 19

18+ MDNI All chapters

Warning: very heavy on PTSD, dissociation, anxiety, trauma. No smut in this chapter.

on Ao3

Thatch POV

You’d spent a quiet evening watching him work, ending with a pleasant night spent chatting over drinks with others from the fourth division on the deck. You were coming out of your shell somewhat, engaging a little more in conversation that you had before. You largely listened in but occasionally offered your thoughts or opinions. You were intelligent and interested in what the others had to say. Since you’d spent some time in the kitchens, you were on friendly terms with his division, even laughing once at a dumb joke someone made. It made his heart soar to hear your laughter - he thought it might be the first time he’d heard it. A true milestone in your progress. He was jealous that someone else made you laugh but he didn’t doubt that there would be more to come.

You looked tired, so he decided to call an early night for you. Even though you were taking more breaks, you still did not get undisturbed sleep at night. Between that and all the work you took upon yourself, he was still worried about your physical health. Marco and Ace were unavailable, so you were back with him tonight, much to his delight. Even though his cock twitched at the thought of you in his arms again, he wanted to give you some rest. He took your hand and led you back to the stairs, yelling a good night call to his crew. He knew others were watching him leading you to his room, but that was the point. He wanted them to see that you were his - no matter how friendly or engaging you were. They could chat with you but you would never be with any of them. Marco had broken some arms, but that wasn’t Thatch’s way. He preferred a more subtle approach. And if that didn’t work, arms could be broken again.

Once in his room you started to take off your shirt, but Thatch stopped you.

“Allow me, Mami. Arms up,” he said, taking the hem of your shirt in your hands. You looked like he had asked you to jump into the ocean.

“I’ve been undressing myself successfully for years, I think I can do it myself,” you said indignantly while trying to pull away. 

Your snippy frustration was adorable, but he wasn’t going to tell you that. “I know you can. But I want to. It would make me happy, and wouldn’t that make you happy?” You considered his words for a moment then lifted your arms. It was so easy to change your mind, he thought to himself. It worked in his favor but also made him feel slightly sad for you. You were so used to pleasing people that you discarded your own desires quickly when faced with any conflict. 

Thatch stripped you down, letting his hands linger a little. You were so beautiful and you didn’t seem to notice at all. He saw the way the other men watched you on the ship - it wasn’t just because there were so few women. You were exceptional - and all theirs. You tried to cover yourself with your hands.

“Don’t hide, I want to see you,” he said while moving your hands away from your luscious breasts. You were clearly uncomfortable being naked generally but especially in front of them. Even though they all had seen you before some shreds of modesty - or maybe shame - still lingered. It was endearing but he wasn’t going to allow it. His eyes roved over your figure while you looked everywhere but him.

“Magnificent,” he whispered to you, to which you made a face. He was going to help you see just how resplendent you were, one step at a time. He took a clean shirt and put it over your head. It was one of his and it turned him on to see you wearing his overly large clothes. He rolled the sleeves while you put your arms through. He loved taking care of you, anticipating your needs, and providing for you. He got a thrill when you depended on him - when you had to come to him to fulfill your wants or to help when you were in distress. You needed him, you just had to see that for yourself. Once you were dressed he picked you up and put you on the bed. You huffed but didn’t say anything. 

Thatch offered to read to you before sleep, which he could tell you were not expecting. You accepted his offer and laid your head on his chest as he started reading a light novel aloud while reclining on the bed. It was intimate with you listening calmly as he read to you by the light of the lamp. You were interested in the story and started absently stroking his chest as you paid attention. After the third time you yawned, Thatch took it as a sign you were ready for sleep. He blew out the lamp, laid on his side and gathered you to him. He kissed the top of your head and settled in for the night. 

~~~

Y/N POV

You were grateful that Thatch didn’t want anything from you tonight. After the previous night with Ace, you wanted a break to recalibrate yourself. You’d liked the story - about righteous pirates trying to help a princess in distress - but were glad for the reprieve. You turned so you were facing Thatch and dozed off into a fitful sleep.

~~~

The next morning Marco and Ace were leaving on a mission together. They stopped by to say goodbye while you were still sleeping in bed. Even though they tried to be quiet, they still startled you awake. Marco sat on the bed and leaned down over you.

“We’ll be back before you know it, dove.” He kissed you sweetly on the mouth. 

“Wher’re you goin’?” you yawned and answered, still half asleep. 

“Gettin’ some business done, y’know, boring stuff” said Ace with a smile. You looked at him intently - he seemed OK, no worse for the wear. If anything, he looked excited. You pulled away from Marco, stood up on the bed and gave Ace a hug. He hugged you back and spun you around, bringing you back to the bed. You giggled at the unexpected movement.

“It’s just you and Thatch right now, you’ll stay with him until we get back,” said Marco pleasantly. 

“Don’t forget about us! We’ll miss ya,” said Ace. He picked you up around the waist and kissed you as well. With that, they were off to do…whatever it was. 

The rest of the morning was easy. You dined with Thatch, fixed doors and sails, took breaks with the fourth division, nothing new. In the afternoon, Fossa asked you to go and fix the pipes in one of the smaller Mobys. It was being repaired after a battle, so no one was living on it. It was a good time to do a wealth of repairs, you thought. You boarded the smaller ship and he guided you to the location that needed the most repairs. Ace had been right - it was always the pipes.

Unfortunately, whoever made the plumbing for the Moby was not asked to do the plumbing for the Moby Jrs. You would have to get into a tight crawl space and maneuver around to reach what you needed. Fossa left you to do your work, after opening the hatch to the crawl space. You went in on all fours, feeling cobwebs on your body and hair. It was dark, but the light from the outside helped and your fruit was pulling you to where you needed to go. You were deep in the crawl space when you heard someone outside.

“ZEHAHAHA, someone must have left this thing open. Wouldn’t want anyone to trip on it.” With that, the light to the outside vanished. Whoever it was had shut the hatch. It only opened from the outside - you were trapped inside. You were locked in the dark. By yourself. You yelled and banged on the walls with increasing panic but no one answered. 

You…remembered.

Everything was closing in on you. You felt like you couldn’t escape your own thoughts, reliving some of your past horrors. You were scared and paranoid, even though logically you knew that many of the people you were thinking about were long dead. But then you started thinking of the battle with the Marines and the pirates and the deaths they caused and your brothers your poor brothers your sweet brothers your little brothers and you were starting to have trouble breathing normally, where were you, were you on a pirate ship, where were your brothers, you felt like you were suffocating, like you couldn’t get a deep enough breath, like you were drowning, like the noise inside your head was going to be the only thing in the world, can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t breathe can’t breathe

~~~

Thatch POV

Thatch was working on tonight’s dinner when Izou came into the kitchen. Thatch handed off his work to another sous chef - Izou explicitly did not like coming to the kitchen -he said it drenched his silk kimono with the smell of oil. So whatever Izou had to say was important enough to interrupt his work.

“Y/N was supposed to meet me half an hour ago.” Izou was tapping his foot on the floor. To some it might look like impatience but Thatch knew it was a cover for stress.

Thatch frowned, getting slightly worried. Were you hiding and sleeping somewhere? “Maybe she’s late?” 

“Y/N is never late. And I can’t find her.” Thatch went from slightly worried to alarmed. If Izou couldn’t find you, there was trouble. You couldn’t have left the ship - someone would have seen you. Where were you?

“Let’s go.” 

~~~

An hour later, after asking almost everyone on board, Fossa finally mentioned that you had been on the Moby Jr. earlier in the day. He said that he thought you left since the hatch was closed and the pipes were working again, but he didn’t actually see you leave. Thatch nearly jumped to the Moby Jr. looking for you. He ran to where Fossa said the crawl space was, and listened for any kind of noise. He had a sense of foreboding, like something bad had already happened. He didn’t hear anything but he thought he smelled blood. 

“Y/N! Y/N! Are you in there?” No one answered. It felt eerie, being on an empty ship, yelling with no one answering. He opened the hatch and held a lamp dial inside the space to illuminate the darkness. 

You were there, sitting with your arms around your knees. Your eyes were open, not blinking. There was blood all over the floor, your clothes, and your skin, but he couldn’t see any open wounds on you. You looked like you were a husk of yourself - physically present but mentally gone. It made his skin crawl looking at the macabre scene. 

“Y/N! There you are!” Thatch tried to reach for you but you withdrew farther back into the crawl space. He tried to reach you but he was too big to fit into the cramped area. He hesitated, he didn’t want to scare you further, but he had no choice.

“Y/N…come here.” Thatch put every ounce of authority he had into his voice. He knew how it sounded -  he had used it to make many recruits cry. He had never wanted to use it on you, given your past experiences, but he needed you out of there, now. You bowed your head and started coming to him. He knew you’d obey immediately, even if the real you wasn’t around. You made your way out of the hatch, and he swooped to pick you up as soon as you were out. You danged limply from his arms, not present in the world. 

~~~

Thatch came to visit you later that night in the infirmary. Deuce and Tate were looking after you, monitoring your vitals every fifteen minutes. You were catatonic, laying as they had placed you in the infirmary bed. You weren’t moving - you were barely blinking. You were pale and breathing shallowly. Your wrists had been cuffed to the railing of the bed. Deuce figured out the source of the blood - you had been scratching your arms repeatedly until you bled then fixing your own wounds. Deuce saw you do it and had to restrain you to get you to stop. You occasionally tried to scratch yourself more and stopped when you encountered resistance from the cuffs. 

Thatch was upset that Marco wasn’t there to help, but it wasn’t Marco’s fault. He and Ace had gone to destroy a Marine base connected to your former enslavement. Thatch did trust Tate and Deuce, he would entrust his own life to them. He just wished his brothers were here to help you as well. 

~~~

Y/N POV

You came back to consciousness slowly. It was night now. Dark again. Moon in the window. You noticed that your clothes felt soft against your skin. They weren’t woven from rough cloth like you normally wore for work. You looked at them. Someone had changed you from your clothes into a medical gown. It was light blue. Your arms hurt. You tried to look closer at them but when you pulled they didn’t move. Your wrists were in handcuffs. You didn’t remember doing it, but you could guess why. You were shivering, but not cold. You laid back into the pillows and waited for someone to come. 

A few minutes later, Deuce came in with a chart in his hand. He looked at you, seeing your eyes track him across the room.

“Y/N, can you hear me?” He came closer to you, sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Yeah.” You were already tired. You didn’t know if you had slept or not. Probably not.

“Do you know who I am? Do you know where you are?” Deuce was talking to you slowly and patiently.

“Deuce, on the Moby.”

“That’s right. Do you remember what happened?”

“Not really.” 

“That’s OK.” He took the stethoscope off from around his neck and put the ends into his ears. He reached for you with the stem and you flinched. You tried to pull away but you were still cuffed. You tugged at your hands uselessly. He listened to your heart, then looked down at your hands.

“Can I uncuff you?” Deuce took out the key and waited for your response.

“Yeah. I won’t … I won’t.” You couldn’t even finish your sentence. Deuce unlocked your wrists and you rubbed them where the cuffs had worn against your skin. You rubbed your sore forearms. Your stomach hurt, maybe you had thrown up. You didn’t know.

“I’m going to let Thatch know you’re up. Please stay here.” He got off the bed and left. You stared out the window at the moon.

~~~

Twenty minutes later, Thatch came in. You watched him come into the room, feeling empty. He sat next to you on the bed. You didn’t know what to say. You felt ashamed, tired, empty, guilty, a million negative emotions. You felt bad he had to deal with you, that anyone did. He reached out and pulled you into his lap. You kept yourself from flinching, to some degree of success.

“You’re going to have to start talking about it,” he said as a way of greeting. You didn’t answer. You pinched your fingers and bit your lip. You wanted to repress the memories forever but that wasn’t working anymore.

“I’m sorry” you whispered.

“You don’t have to be. I’m proud of you.” You buried your head in your hands. You couldn’t deal with this right now. What on earth could he be proud of you for? For wasting his time? For being a burden on everyone? For being weak?

“I’m going to get you a glass of water. Stay here.” You grabbed his arm before he could move. You didn’t want him away from you for even a moment. You were trembling and just wanted to rest on him. You shifted so you were facing him, hunched over yourself.

“Please.”

“OK, for now. You’ll have to drink water later.” Thatch put his arms around you and rocked you gently while you mentally drifted into nothingness.

“Y/N, what were you thinking about?” Thatch said to you later - it could have been minutes or hours, you didn’t know. You didn’t answer.

“You’re going to have to start talking about it if you want to get better.” You still didn’t say anything, just closed your eyes and nuzzled in closer to his chest. He pulled you an arms length away from his body.

“No, that won’t work this time,” he said gently. “You can talk to me or Marco but you’re going to have to start. What were you thinking about?”

“Bad memories,” you whispered. You didn’t open your eyes. You couldn’t face seeing him.

“Of what mija?”

“My brothers.”

“What did they do?”

“They - they all died. They were k-killed.” You’d never said the words out loud before. It hurt you. He brought you back to his chest again.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” But you were already gone, remembering your brothers killed while you watched, useless helpless powerless weak the blood the blood the blood 

“Hey, Y/N. Y/N. Come back to me, come here.” Strong arms had you trapped, you couldn’t get away, you pushed and pushed but nothing happened. You struggled more, trying to get away. The arms let you go and you curled yourself into a ball.

“Y/N….it’s OK, you’re safe.” The hands reached for you again and you drew back, expecting a blow. Nothing came but you still didn’t unfurl yourself.

“Carina, I’ll be right back.” Garbled speech reached your ears but you couldn’t make sense of anything. 

You felt something cold and wet on the back of your neck, startling you. It started running down your back in cool rivulets, making you shiver. 

“Do you feel the water dripping down your back? Does it feel good?” The voice was talking again. You nodded, it did feel good. 

“Try to focus on the water - can you breathe in with me while you think about the water?” You nodded again. The voice counted to five and you inhaled to the counting. You didn’t make it to five but you tried again. And again. After thinking about the water and breathing to five for a long while, you realized you were curled up shivering in someone’s lap. Thatch’s lap. You looked up at him. He smiled benevolently down at you.

Thatch POV

He was not expecting that answer from you. He thought you would talk about the Marines or maybe even your time aboard a pirate ship. He knew a lot of terrible things had happened to you, but you’d never mentioned any brothers. Or any family at all. No wonder you’d never asked to go back to your island - maybe everyone you’d loved was gone. 

He would never tell you, but taking care of you during your panic attack filled him with love. You were so fragile, so weak, so easily broken, and you had turned to him for safety and comfort. When you grabbed him to keep him with you it took everything in his power not to push you down and thrust himself into you to thank you for trusting him. He would always be there to pick up your pieces and help put you back together. 

You weren’t looking at him, just at the moon.

“Maybe I should leave,” you said quietly.

“Leave the infirmary?” Thatch purposefully misunderstood your statement. 

“No. Leave the ship. It’s too - I’m too much. It’s a lot - for everyone.” You were just airing your thoughts, trying to lessen your own guilt. He wasn’t going to punish you right now. You weren’t in your right mind after all. He hugged you tighter. You wouldn’t be leaving the ship, why would you when everyone who would help you was on board?

“It’s not too much mi vida. Everyone has things they need to work through. Yours are just more…difficult.”

“But it takes so much time from everyone, so many resources. I’m not- “

“Don’t finish that sentence. You are worth it. And you’re not leaving. Have you forgotten about your bounty? You stay with us now. You need us and this only proves it more. What would have happened to you if I wasn’t around? If the crew wasn’t around to help you? How do you think this would have ended?” 

You didn’t reply, just leaned your head against him. He didn’t like this line of thought and made a mental note to talk to Marco and Ace about it. You wouldn’t be leaving and you needed to come to terms with it.

[tinkerbelle05]

Pavitr x fem reader PRETTY PLEASEE 🥺

Options:

- When your out with him, and alot of men are staring ( Jealous HEADCANONS )

- Angst

- Fluff

- How he is when your sick.

Why did you leave me?

Characters: Pavitr Prabhakar x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: After some months of dating Pavitr, he wants to break up with you but he wouldn’t tell you why. (Requested) Thanks for the request darling 💕

Warning: Heartbreak, sad times y’all

Jaanu = Beloved

You noticed something was off about Pavitr. The change was almost overnight. Like one day, he’s his usual cheerful and touchy self and now, he can barely look you in the eye and he can’t even hold your hand. The conversations, if there are any, are short and stifled. It’s like he’s walking on eggshells around you.

It made you feel conflicted. On one hand, you felt jaded, silted, vexed. Like every negative emotion manifested in you whenever he ignored you, whenever the 3 am 5 hour calls turned into 10-20 minutes, whenever he pulled away. It made you want to scream and shake him.

But a part of you was worried for him. Something was off with him but he wouldn’t tell you. He wouldn’t tell anyone. And it’s hurting him.

“Hey Pav,” you greeted him and smiled. It was a free period during school so you were just walking the walls.

He gave you a bright smile, “Hey, how’s your day going?”

You two engaged in casual conversation and for a minute it was like the old days but there was something off about Pavitr. His laughs weren’t the same and not once has he hugged you longer for than 30 seconds. This is the same guy that can’t go without 5 minutes holding your hand or even just idly playing with your fingers

You leaned against a wall and took a breath, “Pav, is there something wrong?”

He stopped mid sentence and looked at you with wide eyes and he froze for a moment. Then his face fell, it crumbled like sand. But for a moment, just a moment. You blinked and his smile was back in its place. But it’s manufactured and fake.

So obviously fake.

You stepped closer to him and held his face softly. You ran your fingers up and down his cheek in a soothing manner and touched your foreheads together. You spoke low and slow so he’s the only one that could hear.

“Pav, you can tell me what’s bothering you. I will not judge you for it, promise.” You told him and meant every word. You desperately hoped he knew you meant every word.

He sighed deep and long, his eyes closed, and all he could mumble were a string of sorrys. Confused by it you held him close and rested his head in the nook between your neck and head.

The next day he broke it off with you.

It was short, he came to your apartment, saying that he wanted to talk. You knew something was off when he didn’t walk right past you to chat with your mom. When he didn’t tickle your little sister. When he didn’t waltz into your room and lounge on your bed like it was his.

It was two words and he left.

“We’re done.” And his back was turned to you as he walked away.

It was simple and cruel. 4 years of laughing, smiling, kissing, hugging. Gone in less than 5 minutes. You didn’t know how to react. To cry, laugh, chase him down to throw something at him.

You wordlessly walked to the roof to your building using the railing from your bedroom window. You ignored the questioning glances of your family.

Leaning against the railing you looked at the city. It’s night time but there’s no difference in the amount of sounds or lights. It wasn’t quiet by any means but it was calming to you. People talking, motorcycles revving up, and taxis honking helped distract you from your breakup.

You still couldn't make sense of it. You knew that things were rough between you two but you thought you got to him yesterday.

He put his head on your shoulder! He was fine with you holding him! So why...why?

Um, hi…” you heard a voice and whooshed. You turned around to see that it was Spiderman. Technically Pavitr as Spiderman. But it was still him. The boy that you loved but broke your heart anyway.

You violently turned back around and yelled at him, “Go away! I don’t want to see you right now.”

You were beyond angry. You were livid, enraged, bitter. You didn’t have the words to describe what you were feeling, what you were thinking. You wanted to scream at him, to ask him why, to cry into his arms.

“Just…just let me explain,” he told you and walked to get closer but you backed away from him.

“You couldn’t have explained it as Pavitr! You had to go and get dressed up in your costume to explain why you broke my heart!” You screamed at him, with every word your voice getting louder and louder.

You both stood inches apart from one another. You could not tell what facial expression he had on, whether he was glaring at you, crying with you, or smirking.

You did not want to believe that Pavitr was enjoying your pain but you clearly didn’t know him as well as you thought you did. The boy you loved wouldn't leave you like that.

You reached to take the mask off of his face. You wanted to see him.

“Why?” Was all you asked of him.

He took the mask from your hands and sighed deeply. “I just wanted to protect you. As Spiderman, I have a lot of enemies. I just wanted to protect you, that’s all.”

You stared at him as he’s telling you this. Both of you had these kinds of concerns when he first told you. What if a villain tracked you down, used you as leverage, etc, etc.

“But we have protocols in place in case something like that happens. Pav, is there something else? Because you've been off all week.”

“No, no nothing else. I just thought that this is for the best. I just want to keep you safe from all of this,” he responded.

“Pav, I know you. I know when you are lying to me. You are lying!” You argued back at him. This was frustrating. This was so frustrating. You knew he was lying about something. You knew it. You know him.

Through your tears, you watched as Pavtir put the mask on. “Jaanu, I'm not lying to you. I love you, I always have and always will. And because I love you, I have to leave.”

“But this is not love, Pavitr! If you love me like you claim you do then, you would tell me what it is. You will not be vague about it and you will not shut me out! You will not break up with someone that you’ve been with for 4 years with no explanation and then just leave them at their doorstep. You will not!” You snapped at him.

The tears were running, staining your attempt at eyeliner, and your voice was strained from the constant yelling. And now you're just tired. This was getting nowhere.

You turn to the exit, “Okay, Pavitr. If you want to lie to my face then fine. Goodbye.”

But before you could leave, you sensed him still. Waiting. For what? You didn't know. A part of you hoped that this is where he’ll finally tell you. He’ll tell you everything. But the longer you stood there waiting, the more you realized that this was truly happening.

You marched up to him and slapped him. It was loud but not painful because as much as you hated him, you couldn't truly hurt him. But you wanted him to feel a fraction of what he put you through.

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