#And your Self Inserts and your Self Ships I want to draw them trust me trust me you should commission me to draw them Thankyou

[emile-hides]

I PROMISED I’D REDO MY COMMISSION SHEET EVENTUALLY AND BY GOD HERE WE ARE

For once I’m not taking Commissions due to emergency, I just kinda feel like it this time. As stated last time though I can never do anything seriously for very long so don’t expect too much out of this

Payment will be through Paypal only

[evilminji]

You know? I kinda wonder...

In a Self Insert type scenario, in Star Wars?

They would be MUCH more open to listening to "buddy, a storm's comin'" type warnings. Their Cannon knowledge, even if spotty, would probably echo with the Force and draw its attention to them somewhat. Because they KNOW.

KNOW what is going to happen. Not guess. Not assume. KNOW. Like the Force does. And that? Coupled with their inherent strangeness? Would make them the oddly colored duck of the flock, as it were. Not Super Important... buuuut? Easy to spot.

One of the Force's Blorbos.

Just cause, really. Cause they look funny. The Force doesn't even have a plan for um! But they turned up, ate the Force's food, and look at their wittle faaaace~☆! So it's keeping them. You know... assuming they survive.

Which?

Brings me to my point?

Since they LISTEN? The Force probably chatters like a mofo. Since a Self Insert would be anxious and constantly ASKING for wisdom. For help. A friend. Guidance of any kind. The Force would be draped around them like a particularly pleased with itself shoulder cat. A hovering backseat driver.

Because you DO keep asking, after all.

It's like muscle memory. Building strength. Not... not GREAT, in all actuality? Because Self Insert is avoiding making their OWN choices, probably out of fear? But on the OTHER hand? Both of them KNOW that there is literally a Sith Master like... less then 5 minutes away from where they live. Constantly.

And they are a Youngling.

So???

At What Point?? Does the Force? Engage "Fuck it, we take our baby and run" protocols?

Just? FULL ON "you stop midway through making your dinner, turn off the soup, pick up your kids, leave the house, and NEVER LOOK BACK". Because? Yes. The Jedi KNIGHTS and MASTERS may have vows to try and protect the people of the Republic?

BUT THE YOUNGLINGS DO NOT.

They, in fact, need to be PROTECTED.

And if the Force itself? Says "if you stay here, they WILL die."? You gotta go. Hopefully? You have enough warning to like... pack a ship. But, ya might NOT. Might just be "aaaand, everybody put down your pads! Suprise field trip to Anywhere Else! IMMEDIATELY. Single file, younglings. No running!" Like?

What would you do?

I kinda wanna see it.

Just this somber, vaguely haunted, crechling walking up to import figures like Madam Nu and Yoda going "if I tell you The Force told me we have to take the younglings, ALL OF THEM, and any history we think is worth preserving, and LEAVE... would you listen? Or would you let us die here?" With their tiny lil face and to serious expression.

Like a prophet of Doom.

And WHERE? Exactly? Are they supposed to go? Oh, simple. They are to Trust In The Force. And let it guide them. Out IN THE UNKNOWN REGIONS of wild space! Because THATS fine! Is this a joke?

No.

No the youngling is dead serious. Terrifyingly serious. Has been studying how to pilot a shop like they will have to do so THEMSELF. Asking questions that paint a concerning portrait of a child that fully intends to take their peers on this journey, with or without them.

And the Force? The Force says they MUST. That it is impossibly important they DO.

WELL THEN....

Do they... TELL anybody?

No. Not a single soul. Specifically, not a single soul In The Senate. Ah. Concerning! Guess we're? "Losing" a ship in the war? Oh dear. Such casualties. All those lives. Oh noooooo, and such and so forth. UNRELATED note! It's been FAR too long since this temple was cleaned! Unacceptable. You, random clones definitely not assigned to that ship we definitely just lost! Help us... clean!

Just?

The power of "fuck it, we took our ball and went home/left"? Should be USED more in fics. The Force TOTALLY knows where some sweet, sweet habitable planets are. You'll NEVER fuckin find them if they don't want you too! An entire temple of Jedi asking for the SAME thing? Versus a crusty lil shit?

They asked first. And nicely!

With THIS, balance is maintained. Not through FORCE. But through walking away for a bit. Allowing OTHERS to decide if this is what THEY want for themselves. Order 66 may or may not still happen? But? At most? All you would kill is the current fighting adults. Not the teachers. Not the elders. And CERTAINLY not the young.

They? Are far away. Where the Force is still clear and the light is strong. Growing up. Reflecting on what went wrong. Farming. Building a new temple with the Clones. You know, the ones who didn't have their comms. Never GOT that dreaded order. Get to live free men on a peaceful planet.

Cause historically? You send your kids AWAY from active wars zones. Places that are priority targets for your enemies. And if the Force itself is saying "move the babies"? Welp! Guess you gotta move um, don't ya? It's scary. Uncertain.

But it is an act of faith.

And I just? Wanna see Sith's plans just COMPLETELY fuckin implode? Because they could not plan for Faith. For Trust and Community and Hope. All the things they believe so trite. So worthless. The very things that would lead grown adults, POWERFUL PEOPLE, to actually? LISTEN to a mere youngling. Then follow their lead.

It would be?

Inconceivable to them.

@legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @hypewinter @babbling-babull @hdgnj @starwarsblr @starwars

[themsource]

Frans, Shipping, and Me

A bit of context before we start.

For those that don’t know: I don’t like shipping myself. 

While a majority of my stuff has been and is for the insert enjoyers, I personally don’t like self shipping. It hits on that same nerve that makes me squeak at RPF (real person fiction), it just crosses a line for me. Because those are people with real feelings, and I can’t bring myself to objectify myself or others just for an imagined storyline or scenario. Even when reading it I don't truly insert myself into it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love and have a major crush on a ton of characters, especially Sans and I can ramble all day about what I would do or say in a relationship with him. But actually putting myself in the situation?

No, I can’t do it.

I managed to get one insert art made that I actually paid for myself and… while it did do things for me on both a good and bad level, and felt amazing to have, I wouldn’t do it again. 

It felt very personal, like I had been cracked opened and exposed on a level I didn’t want others seeing just for their entertainment or just because there were parts of myself that I wanted to keep just for me. 

I had received insert art and writing in the past from very close friends at the time, and while I loved them and they touched me very deeply, there was always a bit of uncomfortableness that came with it. Which is why I only willing accepted insert art with my OC Oreo from people I knew and trusted. But even that was and still is a bit much sometimes, because I’ve had Oreo since I was young, very young, so she’s as close to me as you can get without inserting me directly.

When I write insert, “y/n”, is a character. It makes it easier to write as I have a detachment and can enjoy what happens like watching a tv show or play, I’m just along for the ride with my fingers on the gas pedal. If people connected on a level with “y/n” and were able to see themselves in what I wrote, then that was amazing! That’s what I wanted… to be able to affect people and help them feel or experience things that they couldn’t or wouldn’t want to otherwise in a safe environment: so they could expand their perceptions or thoughts on certain subjects or view a topic in a different light.

My insert writing has always been about helping others explore, and even exploring myself.

I’ve learned so much about myself and how the world works with the stuff I’ve written and drawn, the good, bad, and the ugly. There were things I never dared to try and explore for personal reasons… until I started insert writing, because then it was like bringing a friend along, a friend who couldn’t actually get hurt by going on a journey with me. 

A journey that could help both me as a writer and those as a reader to think and reflect, to learn empathy and grow by maybe learning something about yourself you didn’t like or did like, and embracing yourself as a flawed human being just like each one of us are so you can be at peace and live your best life or even to work on yourself if that’s what you were inspired to do.

My insert writing is about learning, and having fun while doing so.

And this all leads into why I love character shipping more.

Characters aren’t real, no matter how many of us might wish that they were. Characters can be objectified, characters can be harmed or loved without committing a wrong against those that really matter, people. There is also yet another distinctive wall of division between a person and a character than there is an insert that makes me more comfortable.

And characters have a solid personality that can be worked with and challenge you as a writer to make work or have fun experimenting to see how they’d react in a certain scene even if it’s in a way you end up disliking.

They’re more limited but so much more versatile.

So when I fall in love with something I fall in love with the characters not the possibility of what I could do in the world.

Characters are what draw me in.

Well, one day I… discovered some interesting fanart of Sans, featuring him and his “light saber”.

And that sparked a curiosity for context.

When I first played Undertale, I had no interest in shipping “the human” with anyone, in fact I had no interest in shipping at all or what have you. Like I said it was like watching a tv show, just something for entertainment. 

The message of undertale did touch me deeply though so I did go looking at fanart and stuff as I was at a point in my life where grief was all I felt and Undertale had managed to make me feel something else other than that, but I was also more into Moana at the time. It’s honestly difficult for me to get motivated to create fanworks for something, to just create. I never made anything for Moana, and never made anything for Persona, which I was ADDICTED to at the time.

I had tried making fanfic in my youth but yeah… 14-19 year old me was awful.

And then the pacifist ending happened.

The absolute SHOCK I felt at seeing everyone call the human “Frisk” rather than what I had named them and learning the name we gave was actually Chara’s…. It made me watch replays, made me spend hours looking at everything I could have missed.

And that’s when I started falling for the characters, when I started falling for Sans and then Frisk.

Frisk, this character who had been possessed by “us” in a word, and “us” that was actually another character we just happened to give an identity to in yet another but milder form of possession, all fitted together like Matryoshka dolls. 

Do you realize how tragic that is?

Frisk was a puppet… of a puppet… for US.

My heart was stolen as soon as that realization was made. I have a weakness for broken and damaged characters, characters that have gone through hell or have been hurt in ways that people normally don’t come back from… because I love more than anything seeing them bounce back.

Combine that love and sympathy I found in Frisk, with the humor and comfort I found in Sans…

And there you have it: My love of Frans and why it’s my OTP.

That love has only gotten stronger as the years went by. 

Another truth I have to share, is I started initially doing insert because I didn’t feel confident enough to portray Frisk right, and character shipping and insert shipping have since drastically evolved into two different things for me with different meanings and reasons for why I do them. 

I really gained confidence in my Frans writing once my dear friend Shay introduced me to several broken down and researched articles by nochocolate that showed me exactly what Frisk and Chara’s personalities were like and how they were separated from “the player”.

And I’ve been on a nonstop Frans high ever since, and will be until the day I die. They are my OTP and I will ship them more than any other pairing, even Insert.

I am very much a “ship and let ship” person, and I have and will support people shipping whatever they please, in fact I tend to ship everyone because these characters are just so great you can’t help but find dynamics where they just work no matter the previously established bonds or relationships, and the same goes with good AU derivatives.

But Frisk and Sans were the ones who drew me in and kept me here.

I’ve made jokes and called other ships OTP in a show of support of fellow writers, however frans is it for me. If I was asked what ship’s hill I’d die on in a war, it’s them.

For me, Frans will always come first.

So now we get to what exactly my dynamics are for Frans.

I like portraying Frisk as female, because I am female. I find it easier to write emotions from that perspective than others, and I want people to love Frisk and feel what Frisk is feeling. I have written Frisk as nonbinary and male before, but I feel those pieces weren’t as good as my writing when I had Frisk as female, simply because I’m not actually of those genders. I will take genuine characterization over a subpar attempt at accuracy that undermines the experience the writing is supposed to give you.

I also like writing Sans as strictly male. Can he change his equipment if he pleases? Yes, he’s made of magic after all, but I don’t see him preferring or actively wanting to do that, he’s male and identifies as a man, pure and simple. You’d have to be pretty fucking special for him to honor an equipment swap request.

A bit of a TMI personal note for this too though in why I like this interpretation with Sans the most… is the fact I don’t like vaginas. 

I have one, and all I care about is the fact it can make me feel good. It’s not pretty or “looks like a flower”, it’s a hole that’s a direct opening into the body… gross. And no, before anyone starts, I would not feel better with a penis or think I’m trangender in any capacity. I’m a woman and I feel like a woman one hundred percent, I just don’t like that one part of my anatomy.

So while I’m willing to write about one vagina for smut, I’m not comfortable writing about two and creating the image that… two working together would make. Can I write two vaginas in a smut scene sure… if there’s a penis involved. I could even write lesbian sex if I wanted if there’s a dildo, vibrator, hands, or whatever. Just no vagina on vagina action. It’s my preference and for my comfort. I’ve read plenty of fics that include that but I happily ignore it in favor of the plot and interactions.

Anyways…

For me Sans and Frisk…

They are soulmates, they are always meant for each other. 

No matter the time, place, ages, personalities, or circumstances, they are always supposed to be together. I may write or make pieces where they’re not soulmates, but they still very much are in my head if that makes sense. This is why I love to indulge in any and all content involving them.

Now do they actually end up together? 

That’s a different story. Not all endings are happy ones. But what matters isn’t the ending but the journey. What matters is the time they have together and how they affect one another. What matters is the fact that they met.

Sans could be a complete asshole to Frisk, a deranged psychopath, and Frisk could be as equally messed up with them both going at each other’s throats, or one of them could be a complete sweetheart that suffers in the name of love and hopelessness, or they could even be in a perfect balance where they’re in a healthy relationship filled with compassion and consideration, but in someway, somehow, they will still just work. 

Even if it’s not in the way others would hope for.

I personally can write pure healthy fluff, I have before, but what I really like writing about is them struggling to overcome something. I generally like writing like that in the first place. 

But with Sans and Frisk…

I always write about change.

What I like most is a Sans who struggles with his emotions, whether that be displaying them or feeling them while hiding behind a calm and collected mask. I like it when he’s carrying that mysterious air about him that makes you question what he’s really thinking or if he really understands what’s been told to him. I like him leaving someone in doubt and constantly on the tips of their toes, before making them laugh with a joke.

And I like Frisk being able to crack that mask, to read through his charade.

She changes him by bringing more of him out from behind the curtain, making him more in tune with his SOUL and even his humanity and all the complications that come with it.

If that’s a good thing or not, depends on the situation and context, but yes always this.

For Frisk, I like her shy and innocent. Someone who’s learning the world at the same time that she’s learning herself, and is forever merciful and forgiving towards those that wrong or hurt her sometimes to her own detriment because she’s just that kind hearted and hopeful for that kindness in others. But as much as she forgives, she certainly doesn’t forget. Frisk remembers and counts the scars she carries.

I enjoy when Sans manages to push her into becoming stronger, to not let herself continue to be silently walked on, and to fight back.

That’s the basis for my work with them.

Sometimes, Sans makes her stronger by pushing her to an edge with abuse until she finally reaches a breaking point and fights with all her strength, and in her rebellion Sans slowly begins to see where he’s gone wrong to have changed her so and gradually becomes kinder, more open as he seeks forgiveness.

Other Times, Frisk sees Sans as nothing more than an empty shell just costing by in life with a false grin on his face and slowly starts overcoming her shyness and reluctance in other to try and help a friend facing down depression, and this slow build of strength and show of kindness is enough to cause Sans to start reacting more honestly to jokes or statements, to dare smile for real even though it hurts to do so.

Then there can be times of bloody revenge - where one becomes stronger to take out the other while the opponent seeks to manipulate their perception on what they knew was right or wrong, and both end up more broken than from when they started, but still irrevocably changed in a positive way that was negative between them.  

Times of tragic love not meant to be.

These are just a few scenarios, but with the same theme: change.

And I apply it differently each time depending on the scenario or idea, depending on who is in the wrong or not. The theme can be subtle to the point you have to read between the lines and really think on what’s happening to see it, or it can be really obvious right from the start and is fed to you with every action and word.

Every time I look at Sans and Frisk together no matter who’s portraying them, I see change.

The potential for it.

And that’s what I love most.

So that is how my Frans works, and incidentally, why I love the ship so much. 

I will continue to love that ship til the day I die and I will continue to write for frans no matter what, even if I lose interest in all other ships including insert you can bet I will continue to write about the funny skeleton man and the sweet hearted human.

They’re my ultimate power couple.

And if hearing this at all upsets anyone, more so my insert readers who I’ve heard the majority of backlash from since I first came out about my love for frans… (Seriously the DMs and anon hate was unreal - especially the... material I got sent and had to report at one point) Well, let’s just say that If you can’t handle me in my character shipping moods, then you don’t deserve me in my insert shipping moods, sorry.

Like I’ve said before, I love my readers and friends regardless if you agree or disagree with me, including on the ship or ship(s) I make stuff for, you’re allowed that right as people. And no I still won’t love you any less for your thoughts. Because again that’s how we’re supposed to be as people, mature enough to let bygones be.

I’m just saying, frans is life for me, and explaining why that is and always will be.

[narhinafan]

One thing I don't get is people stating that Kishi's wife disliked the ending, like was she the one writing those things day and night spending every week drawing the manga? Or did they do that.

And not to mention that Naruto is a fucking shonen, whatever head canon you have for any character is normal but it isn't cannon (speaking to the people who really think Naruto is gay or some shit) it's what the writing wants that goes it isn't that fucking deep.

Kishi wanted Naruto to marry and love Hinata it's not that deep people it's just fucking entertainment. It's like they made it their entire personality that Naruto likes dick or some shit, and no he doesn't love Sakura she's just a friend (sis more like it)

And don't get me on the lowlives of anti Konoha that are Narutoxmulti and Hinataxmulti, they speak as if when Naruto and Hinata are in the presence of one another they ruin each other's characters when Hinata's greatest source of strength is fucking Naruto, and when Naruto is at his lowest she picks him right up. Like fucking shit Sasuke did nothing to fucking deserve Hinata most of that shit is Hinata being salty and just as some guy said "deranged revenge porn paring" he ships naruhina.

And good lord ok those fucks who say they haven't interacted much, like do you know how relationships work irl, because I sure do that's why I am not having a fucking girlfriend at fucking 16 because it's literally set for failure, you should date as an adult and preferably a stranger or someone you trust very much. Hinata is fucking both for Naruto in this spectrum, when they were strangers Naruto was comfortable around enough to let loose about his self doubt something men usually don't do especially with fellow men (that's for SnS fucks who don't get how men fucking work because they are most likely white fucking women, geez if you don't know how this shit works stfu you have no relevance in her you sick fucking bastards. The ship feels more like a porn fetish than a fucking ship) men usually say this kind of shit to a trusted women on thier life usually a mom (he did that with Kushina ) or get this a fucking wife which he didn't do with Sakura (don't get me wrong I fucking love Sakura but NaruSaku is stupid af because I have a sister relationship kinda like NS and I know for damn sure I won't tell my sister about my self doubts because that shit mom would be more experienced with, don't get me wrong sisters can sure give you a good fucking pep talk but they can't do things your mom or wife can do.)

Oh lord don't get me on Narutoxmulti who hate NH, because it's just some poor fucks having Naruto have sex with any women because their sexy? And what they hate NH because it's forced? So your logic is having Naruto fuck Mei who he never talked to once because it somehow makes sense and isn't just because you have a porn addiction and Hinata is the type of women you'll have a relationship with for wife which is fitting for Naruto because foxes literally mate for life, actually foxes are very faithful so when their vixen dies, cannonicaly if Hinata dies Naruto won't have sex with anyone really, shows how much u fucking know about your self insert (who's my favorite character of all time)

Like I stated it isn't that deep and should never be that deep, one Sakura fan I like said this once to someone bashing Hinata for stupid reasons "Politics and Naruto don't go hand in hand", whatever happened with Hyuga ended since the chunin exams or after the war by the time the last rolled because you see Hanabi acting like a normal fucking child, shows how well you really fucking care about the hyuga and Neji.

God these people are so fucking stupid and idiotic I can't get fucking rest from them, I'd rather die than stay in this shit hole of a fandom that doesn't know it's characters properly fucking pieces of shit

Yeah she didn't writing the end and she never outright said she disliked it either.

I totally know what you mean I hate how you can't have any same sex friendship or sibling like relationship with out part of the fandom trying to force feed it being gay down your throat. Like I have nothing against gay ships when it is intentionally done and not forced, but seriously as you said the writing doesn't go that deep and is not meant to be taken that way.

True a lot of antis that ship muilt ship Naruto or Hinata always make them completely OC or outright ruin their characters and relationship with each other.

There interactions might not be a lot, but each one is significant and the way they interact and treat each other is different to how they are with their other friends. Naruto has always been able to show his weakness to Hinata he is comfortable enough with her to share his doubts despite the fact he is constantly putting up a front where he acts confident till he makes it. Fact is Hinata is the only female other then his mother Naruto is comfortable showing sides of himself he doesn't show other people.

For sisters it depends on the type and their relationship with their sibling. Sakura though her relationship with Naruto is negative she isn't the kind of person Naruto can unload his doubts or talk about his feelings without being made fun of. Plus she hits and insults him quite often as well she simply doesn't inspire the same sort of comfort Hinata or Kushina would give Naruto when it comes to opening up about himself.

Yeah never been a fan of harems doesn't match Naruto's character, but also doing them tends to ruin a story. Also some of the ships are just disturbing like I've seen people match Naruto with Tsunade for the same reasons you listed. Naruto is 100% the kind of guy that is faithful and the one that wants a genuine and sincere relationship with the kind of life he went through he wants to be genuinely loved and not a lot of characters can provide that to the extent Hinata can.

Seriously its stupid how they try to bring up that he hasn't changed the Hyuga when we saw things have changed and have yet to see a new gen Hyuga with the seal. The branch house is not a thing anymore or if it is no longer mistreated. We haven't even seen a servant or maid Hyuga in Boruto yet. Things have improved even before Naruto became Hokage and likely even more so after if there were any issues left.

[dumblemonchickenwing]

I really love your art. You portray the emotions of characters very well. Your composition is also very pleasing.

If you ever consider doing commissions I'd be first in line for them! (Only if you wanted to do them of course, I know running commissions can be a busy process)

Thank you for such kind words, anon, you're really generous

I have been considering opening commissions for donations, if that's okay with you, you can commission me in this way. My DMs are open for this purpose as well

Since no one commissioned before, I am willing to do a sketch for 1 dollar I can even do a fully colored clean drawing but it'd be for a higher price. I may start working on a commission form for better information, but if you don't need this you can just DM me on tumblr

short information under cut:

- I can send my progress to you so that we can discuss if there are some mistakes in my W.I.P. before it is done

- Art references, though preferred, are not required

if the commission turns out bad, I can compensate with an extra sketch for you

I roughly estimate the time needed to complete the commission from 1 day to 1-2 weeks, depending on the complexity of your request.

Where can I donate?

A goodle doc with vetted gofundme links

The blog that has useful information regarding vetted fundme links 

The blog that has useful information regarding legitimate funds and scams

Or You can make a donation to other campaigns that you trust.

What and whom I can draw:

- Any fandom character (with references)

- OC

- A ship art ( including self-insert or an OC x canon ship)

- Platonic friendship art

- Suggestive art (up to discussion)

- Blood

I can even draw a small sketch comic (with 2-4 panels) if that's what you need

Things that will probably not turn out well:

- Overly detailed design and mecha

- High quality body anatomy (pecs and musces), I can't do that yet..

- Realism and portraits

- Cultural and traditional clothing

- backgrounds (I don't have good experience drawing backgrounds)

I won't draw:

- NSFW works

- Explicit gore (but blood and very mild gore is okay)

- Self harm art

- Hateful art (i.e. telling someone to kys even if it is in character)

- Political art

Prices (minimal amount of donation) :

Sketch (bust) / (full body) - 1 USD / 3 USD

Rough color bust / full body - 5 USD / 7 USD

the other types of commission I'm not sure would be desired but I can price them too

How to donate and send me proof:

(there is a guide on how to do it ; you can send me the screenshot of a donation in my DMs) Overall I should know it was you by the name of the fund and date of donation

I won't be fighting you nor denying you donated, I also won't accuse you if you accidentally donated to a scammer, it's not my job to police that, ill do the commission anyway

I have heard that for some funds it takes a long time to process the donation, (it could show up much later after you donate sometimes) I will keep that in mind too

[chronicbeans]

Hey I just thought of this and I feel like it needs to be said (btw sorry if my thoughts are scattered. My ADHD is doing backflips. Hope my message is clear, lol):

I love writing completely self-indulgent fanfiction. Like the fanfiction that is EXTREMELY specific with specific details others may find odd, but make you happy for whatever reason. The fanfictions that have the whole "neko-princess-winged reader" or "half-demon-half-vampire reader" or OCs that some people make fun of, but people like because, as said before, it makes them happy! It helps them express themselves in a fun way! I feel like more people need to be open about writing it, lol. That way, others don't have to feel embarrassed about writing it, or wanting to write it! Sure, some fanfictions may be very serious, and these fanfictions can be taken seriously, but for many I feel it is just something they make because they like it! Like how some fanfictions are passion projects made from a love for the fandom, while others are made to ship themselves with a character, then there are others that someone may make because they were bored and wanted to have fun!

Life's hard sometimes, so people need to find what makes them happy, even if others think that it is odd. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, it's fine! Don't let others put you down or take the fun out of it! If you want a self-ship fanfiction, write it! Or if you don't feel comfortable writing it, don't be afraid to request it from someone you trust to write it! Same goes for any other type of fanfiction, really. Canon x Canon, Canon x OC, or maybe an AU fanfiction or crossover that has no shipping at all. You want something silly? You want something serious? Something fluffy? Maybe you just want something about yourself represented, like your culture, past experiences, etc? Don't be afraid to write it, request it, or whatever! Maybe you want to draw it!

This was just a random thought I had, as I realized how much I really enjoy writing fanfiction that involves my own experiences in them. It might be why I have a lot of self-insert OCs that only take very specific parts of myself, lol. It's always the same experiences, too. I love writing most every type of fanfiction, but I find those to be the most rewarding. Then I also find that, for some reason, I get nervous about posting it, despite the fact that I like it and am kinda proud of it. Well, I guess this is me saying "No more" to that nervousness, and I am now willing myself to write and post some of them for this blog (those fics are a bit old and I wanna rework them). I think a lot of people seem to be very nervous about talking about self-insert, at least in my personal life and from experience, so I just wanted to express my support of this type of content.

If anybody really wants me to write something for them, I'll happily do my best! If you want me to write for an OC, just give me some info and I'll give it a shot! Do you have a more specific request for an x Reader? I'll try it out. I'll even make sure to go out of my way to research things I don't know (I love doing that tbh I find it fun). Don't be scared to do so!

This blog is a safe space for self-indulgent content of any kind, really, as long as it follows my request rules.

[kpophoneybunny]

Mist (Chapter 1) - ATEEZxSKZ Pirate/Royal!AU

Genre: Adventure/Romance (Mostly fluff)

Rating: PG-13 (later chapters will have strong language, violence, and suggestive situations)

Disclaimer: Our main girl has a name but feel free to self-insert.

Word Count: 1070

A/N: This story is a continuation of Aurora, an Ateez fic. You can find that here.

After years of traveling from port to port without visiting their old friend, Hongjoong had Yeosang dock them in the capital city. “We’ll see if we can meet Jongho. I sent word from our last port that we were on our way so hopefully he’s expecting us.”

“Sweetheart, slow down.” Jangmi called from the back of the group, laughing as she watched her daughter run off.

Hwayoung - now six years old - ran ahead of the group and crashed right into a boy who looked about the same age. “I’m sorry.” She bowed, eyes wide as she noticed the guards standing around him. “Uh… I’m Song Hwayoung.”

“I’m Choi Donghyun, the crown prince of Joseon.” He stood taller and the whole crew froze, looking at the boy. They had heard about Jongho having a son but they hadn’t expected to meet him like this. “You’re my dad’s old friends, right? He draws you a lot.” He looked between the crew before taking Hwayoung’s hand. “Come with me. He wants to talk to you. There’s a lot to catch up on.”

They were led through the palace courtyard and to the throne room. Jongho sat next to his queen, dressed as the king he was. They had never seen him this regal - this powerful and elegant. One-by-one the crew fell into deep bows of reverence for their king. It wasn’t until they lifted their heads that they saw the solemn desperation in his eyes. Without having to ask, they knew he was about to ask for their help. They had to work together once again.

“What is it, Jongho?” Hongjoong’s informality raised eyebrows from some of the guards but the young king seemed unfazed.

“Someone take the children out into the courtyard.” Jongho stood from his throne and came down to be face-to-face with the captain. A palace maid led Donghyun and Hwayoung outside and let them play. “My son isn’t safe here anymore. There’s unrest within the palace walls coming from my late father’s wife and her sympathizers. They don’t believe my brother killed our father and they believe I killed my brother unjustly. They want to overthrow my rule, my family. We have reason to believe they want my son dead as revenge.”

Hongjoong glanced at the queen who looked about ready to cry. “What do you want us to do?”

“My wife and I have decided it best if my son spend some time in hiding. I don’t trust anyone with him. I don’t know who to trust but you all. Please, take him with you. Return him when he’s old enough to defend himself.”

“The sea isn’t safe.” Hongjoong sighed, shaking his head slightly. “A pirate ship isn’t exactly a sanctuary.”

“And yet his chances are better against a pod of sirens than against his own subjects.” Jongho looked out the window at the two children chasing each other around the courtyard. “Hwayoung seems healthy and happy. You’ve all managed to keep her alive this long. Can you manage one more child?”

“Jongho, we owe you our lives but we can’t promise he’ll be safe.”

“Can you promise to protect him to the best of your ability?” Jongho’s voice trembled with the threat of tears. “I don’t want to send him away, much less to a sea full of monsters and cannon-fire. I wouldn’t ask if I had another option.”

“Then you have my word that he will be taken care of. I can’t promise he’ll be the most well-mannered prince when he returns but-”

“But I can teach him the basics of nobility.” Jangmi spoke up. “I will teach him.” She couldn’t imagine what Jongho and his queen were feeling. The pain of even thinking of harm coming to your child, the thought of not seeing your child for years - or maybe never again. IT would be too much for her.

“Thank you.” Jongho sighed in relief. “Then I beg you to leave with him tonight and never bring him back until he is strong and wise and old enough to take down his enemies by himself.”

“Tonight?” The queen stood and looked out at her son. “So soon?”

“We will take it as an order then, your majesty.” Hongjoong bowed deeply.

The crew gave the royal family a few more hours together before leading the boy to their ship.

“Dongyoung.” Hongjoong kneeled next to the crying prince and held his small hands in his. “How much did your father tell you?”

“He said I have to go with you all. He said I’m not safe at home. He also said I can’t tell anyone who I really am and that you all will treat me like… like just another kid. I’m not a prince here.”

“Okay. Good. We’ll tell you more when you’re older.” Hongjoong sighed and placed his captain’s hat on Dongyoung’s head. “If anyone asks, Nozomi and I are your parents.”

The six-year old looked over at the intimidating witch and broke into hysterical sobs. “I want my real mom.”

“I know.” Jangmi came over to help console him. She had been a noble child once. “But you will make your parents so proud if you can be brave for just a while.” They raised the anchors and the ship began to sail away from everything the boy had once known. “Just a few years. You know my daughter, Hwayoung. You two can be friends. You're not alone. You aren’t an outsider. We all love your father like family. Which makes you our family.” Jangmi cupped the boy’s chubby cheeks. “You’ll be well taken care of here. I do have to admit the food isn’t going to be as good as what you’re used to but you’ll adjust quickly.”

“Dongyoung.” Hwayoung came over to her new friend and held out a sweet roll they had bought at port. “These always make me happy. You can have mine.”

“Thank you.” He gave a weak smile through his tears and took a bite, looking down at his feet.

“Come, dear. I’ll show you to your room.” Nozomi held her hand out to the young prince. He hesitated before holding her hand and following her down to what used to be Jongho and Seonghwa’s room. “One more thing.” Nozomi’s eyes saddened as she looked at the helpless eyes of the young child. “While you live with us, your name can’t be Dongyoung. You’ll be known as Hyunjin.”

[mugenloopdalove]

This is the problem with social media. No amount of notes will ever be satisfying. You will always wish for more, it's part of the addictive cycle. At first you were begging for a couple notes on it. You got 10, that's awesome! People even left kind tags and everything.

Then you see someone who got 50 notes and suddenly you are dissatisfied again. This happens even with really big accounts. As they get more followers the new expectation for the base amount of notes goes up. The 'this got no attention' goal post gets moved from 5 notes to 100 notes to 1000 notes and so on.

I post drawings which admittedly makes it easier to get notes but is still never a guarantee. I never have any expectations for posts because it's a slippery slope that's bound to make you dissatisfied with what you made rather than happy that someone else besides you enjoyed your work at all. Ive had art that got 5 notes and I've had art that got thousands of notes. Often times the 5 note is the more fun and self indulgent art that I really love to create.

If the goal is just pure engagement something like an astarion x reader fic is obviously gonna garner more attention because that has a much broader audience than a niche au. I don't know the f/o fic that got 50 notes but I'd be willing to bet it's something less niche than your fic and/or they got lucky!

It's not bad to want attention on the things you make , everyone would love a billion notes and nice things said but it's just not realistic. The only way to be happy with what you get is to lower expectations and stop constantly comparing yourself because there's always going to be someone who's better or has more notes than you .

I'm going to be addressing this bit by bit so if it feels weird and like I'm addressing stuff you say later in ask that's why. I'm just a bit high in an attempt to see if being under the influence would help me pack hsjdjd

Yeah the tags. Helped a lot. I just wish I knew how ppl got 50 notes in self ship fic ya know. I wish I knew what it took. Bc I do all the stuff people say you need to do and it's like none of it works despite it working for everyone else

It's rlly hard for me to write Astarion x reader breathe than Theil bc I'm REALLY weird about sharing Astarion in particular and dint trust most Astarion fans. I feel like most would turn up their nose at me hcing them as trans fem considering they can hardly respect their trauma. And I don't think Karlach/reader and ESPECIALLY Jaheira/reader would hit it off as well. And even then, other self shippers don't gotta do that ya know? They write about their own self inserts and get 20-50 notes. I appreciate the notes I got and the tags but I have to wonder why other self ship fic gets way more. Makes me feel like the problem is Theil, this AU I have a lot of dedication towards, and my writing, esp after that one anon.

The fic I saw was just. A normal self insert fic I guess? I feel like I explain the au well enough in the post to make it... Not so niche. No more niche than a fic about a self insert that someone doesnt explain anything about in their fic post.

I try not to compare myself at all but when I haven't seen any self ship fic get less than 20 notes it's really really hard Not To. Like when I haven't seen any do it it makes me feel like there's something wrong w me personally especially when I get anons telling me it's me.

[donutloverxo]

Before you

*not my gif*

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Note - this was requested by the lovely @whimsicalrogers thanks for all the icons, lock screen and dividers you made me! Thanks for the beta and all your advice @stargazingfangirl18. I hope I do you all proud🤭

Summary - Yours and Steve's relationship was perfect, until it wasn't. Will he be able to convince you to give him another chance?

Warnings - smut (m/f), jealousy, angst, dom/sub undertones.

Pairing - Steve Roger x reader

Word count - 4552

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

As someone who grew up watching an unhealthy amount of Disney movies and romcoms, you couldn’t help but dream, that someday your prince charming would come riding in on a white horse to whisk you away from your boring mundane life.

Someone you could love and hold forever, who’d do the same for you. Someone who’d always be there for you, to pick you up when you fall, to make you laugh when all you want to do is cry. Someone who’d be your everything and treat you as if you’re the most special person in the whole world.

But adulthood killed all those dreams all too easily. You learned the hard way that people didn’t really belong to each other. They barely even listened to when another person was talking.

You thought you came close a couple of times, but you never did find your special person. Everyone walks on their paths alone. And maybe it was better that way. You weren’t sure if you could ever completely open up and give yourself to someone else.

That was until Steve came along. He was someone as lost as you and even lonelier. Finding himself in a world he no longer recognised and among people he couldn’t really trust. It didn’t take that long for him to trust you.

You had put on Snow White which was Steve’s favorite from back in his day. You couldn’t help but insert yourself in the fairy-tale. After all Steve did always call you his princess.

“Steve?” You mumbled into his chest laying on top of him as the end credits played.

“Yes, sugar?” He replied running his hands through your hair before drawing small soothing patterns on your back.

He only had to move his nose an inch to smell your hair and get a whiff of your soft soothing scent. Who knew something so simple could be so blissful.

As much as he loved taking you out on the town and courting you to show you a good time and do all the things he never thought he could, he also loved spending these quiet evenings in with you. Where it was just him and you, the rest of the world just seemed to disappear. He wouldn’t trade them for anything.

“Never mind,” You shook your head. ‘It’s soon. You’ll scare him off.’ That incessant annoying voice in your head said.

“Hey,” He propped your chin up to make you look at him. His heart melted at your glossy eyes. So vulnerable and sensitive. Maybe it was what drew him to you. Your ability to be so sweet and wear your heart on your sleeve. Something he never could do. “What is it?” He asked lowly caressing your cheek. Not wanting to push you too much but he couldn’t really help himself when you looked so sad either.

“Do you think...” You whispered and licked your lips “We’ll be together forever. Like them.” You picked at the threads on his shirt too scared to look at him.

He smiled down at you. Getting up to sit straight and adjust you properly in his lap. “I know we will sweetheart.” He said confidently as if it was a fact.

You looked up at him still holding onto his shirt, as if he’d disappear if you let go for even a second “And do you think you’ll always love me?” You wanted to know.

“Yes, I’m sure of it. Where is this even coming from?” He frowned “I know... I don’t always do a good job of showing you I love you. This is new to me. I’ve never had a girlfriend.” And like the dork that he was he couldn’t help the goofy grin he made every time he referred to you as his girl “But I’ll do better,” He promised and pressed a long lingering kiss on your forehead to seal it. He cleared his throat to ask “What do you think I should do better?”

“No. You’re amazing, Steve, you don’t need to change.” You said giving his plump pink lips a quick peck “It’s just scary. How much I love you and how it can all go away if I’m not careful. People break up everyday and over the stupidest of things or over nothing. I don’t want that to be us.” You sighed unloading all your anxieties.

He nodded taking your words in “I understand. I’m scared of losing you too. More than you’ll ever know.” He paused looking for the best words “What we can do is maybe talk about such things?” He slowly suggested rocking you back and forth in his arms.

You happily tucked your head in the crook of his neck, hugging him close to you. Falling for his sweet words and him. Convinced that nothing would come between you both.

***

He got down on one knee not long after to pop the big question with an even bigger diamond to really show you how committed he was.

You were on cloud nine. You felt nothing could ever bring you down that you only had happier times to look forward to.

Until one fateful day, you didn’t realise it then but it was probably when everything started going to hell, Sharon Carter got back from her year long mission in Europe.

You were only an accountant working for the Avengers. Being so close to Steve did give you some influence, which you were ashamed of liking a bit too much, but no one was ever really scared of you. You heard chatter about her and your Steve. And how now he would surely ditch his ‘normal and plain fiancé'. They never tried that hard to hide it from you. They probably thought you weren’t here for the long haul.

“Hey Angie” You nervously called for your desk mate. “Why is everyone so obsessed with Steve and Agent Carter?”

“Oh you mean Staron?” She grinned before frowning, “Oh I’m sorry! That’s just what people call them. Not me though! You know how hard I ship you two.” She squeezed your shoulder in order to console you.

“Yeah but why? I mean did they use to date or something...” You trailed off knowing that it was something you should be asking your fiancé not your co-worker.

You had tried a couple of times but you were too afraid to come off as jealous or controlling. That was the last thing you wanted to be. You expected him to give you enough space to be your own person, so it’d only be fair for you to do the same.

“I don’t really know.” She stroked her chin as if in thought “You’ll just have to ask Captain Rogers. Nothing was ever confirmed they were just rumors. Even I’ll admit they would make gorgeous blonde babies. But girl! You don’t have anything to worry about! You’re the one who has the ring.” She tried her best to assure you but the seeds of doubt and fear had taken roots in your mind.

Steve assured you that there was never anything between them. They flirted with the idea of dating for a while before she went away, he doubted there’d ever be anything between them. He couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. Not when he’s so madly in love with you.

He was so convincing and charming.

The things that set him apart from everyone else, which you loved about him, were his honesty and loyalty. He blamed his Ma and 1920s raising but you didn’t care. He was perfect in your eyes. He didn’t need to fit in. Those things made him Steve Rogers. Your Steve.

***

You had never been more ashamed than when you went through Steve’s things to get some sort of clue. You went through his sketches to find if he was secretly harboring any kind of feelings about her. You only found sketches mostly consisting of you and the Avengers, some of Bucky and his mom.

You sighed in relief, but then, at the bottom of his drawer you found a sketch of Sharon drawn with charcoal pencil. You couldn’t help but cry tears of frustration and pain, tearing the sketch up and flushing it so he wouldn’t find out. You knew you made a grave mistake, even as you started snooping you knew nothing good would come out of it, yet you couldn’t help yourself. In the end you only upset yourself.

Steve got back from work shortly after with your favorite take out, he kissed you hello. He knew something was up but you simply lied and chalked it up to pms or something.

He was ever so understanding. Giving you a nice massage and drawing you a bath. You decided then, that you wouldn’t look for anything anymore. If Steve was being unfaithful you didn’t want to know. You’d rather live in this beautiful peaceful bubble of ignorance.

***

The next few months were tough. All your wedding planning had taken a backseat as Steve had started to look for his friend Bucky, who also happened to be the winter soldier, with Sam and Sharon.

You didn’t really have an answer when your mother pestered you about going wedding shopping. You didn’t know how to tell her that you doubted if there would be a wedding at all. It would break her heart. Especially after she had come to love Steve as much as you did.

You never complained. How could you? The whole world needed him much more than you ever could. And he didn’t seem to need you anymore.

He never had to have time for you anymore. Late nights at the offices, long missions with Sharon.

One rare night he was home for dinner, you were too busy sulking in your self pity to actually enjoy his company after he’d deprived you of it for so long.

You chose to give him the silent treatment, not speaking more than two words to him. He noticed. Of course he did, Captain America, always so perceptive and smart.

He tried to pry answers out of you for a while before his phone started ringing and he excused himself to go pick it up.

“Why do you always go into the other room to take your calls?” You asked when he got back placing his phone down on the table. Playing with your food not having the strength to look him in the eye and confront him.

He visibly stiffened at the underlying accusation in your question. He had grown annoyed of having the same discussion with you again and again. But he decided to bite his tongue. It was his job to make you feel secure in your relationship.

“It’s confidential information, doll. You know that.” He sighed.

You hummed “But you can tell me who you were speaking to right?” You finally looked up and you wished you hadn’t. He clearly wasn’t happy, his eyebrows furrowed in a frown and his jaw clenched, how you hated confrontation. Not that you ever thought you’d be confronting your Steve.

“It was Sharon.” He spit.

“Of course.” You scoffed going back to staring at your food as he rolled his eyes.

“What do you want me to say? I know you aren’t exactly fond of her but I’m not going to lie just to make you happy. Because that’s not who I am! I don’t lie.” He ranted holding up his phone “Why don’t you go through it? Maybe that will make you happy.”

You shook your head rejecting his offer. Even though you were tempted to, you knew Steve was smart. He was Captain America for gods sake. He’d know how to cover his tracks. If he didn’t want you to find something, you probably wouldn’t.

So you finished your dinner, angrily stuffing the food in your mouth while sneering at him and then left him to do the dishes.

You put yours and Steve's laundry in the washer. Even though you were salty with him you still did your half of the chores. Checking his pockets for any receipts or bills. But then you saw what looked like a shinning golden thread. You pulled at it to find that it was a long blonde hair. Which was clearly not yours.

You thought of going to Steve with it. But if you had to hear another one of his lame excuses you’d probably drown yourself.

So, for the first time, you simply went to bed angry with him. When he tried to talk to you, you retorted with a snarky or hurtful comment or didn’t speak at all. You knew just how crazy that would drive him.

***

You groaned for the fifteenth time in the past hour, your leg impatiently shaking under the table. He was an hour late. He was someone who took pride in always being punctual and sharp, clearly you weren’t important enough for him to consider your feelings. You decided to pick up your phone and call him.

“Where are you?!” You hissed as soon as he picked up. Too angry to even bother to say hello.

“I’m at work. I’m so sorry, doll, I won’t be able to make it. Something important came up.” He apologized. His voice laced with guilt. Which would’ve been enough to convince you maybe a month or so ago, but at this point he had missed far too many dinners and dates.

“Right. Of course. More important than me obviously.” You rolled your eyes.

“You know that’s not true – "

“You didn’t even bother calling me” You screamed into your phone.

“I did call.” He sighed “You didn’t pick up and I’m kinda busy right now.”

“Yeah I didn’t pick up! I was cooking a meal for our anniversary! You know what? I don’t care because you clearly don’t either.” You said hanging up without giving him a chance to speak.

You had packed some of the leftovers up for Steve but you decided to dump them all in the bin. He didn’t deserve your cooking.

You haphazardly threw the tupperware in the sink. Torn between punching a wall and hugging a pillow to cry out all your frustrations. You chose to rigorously scrub and wash the dishes.

Having spent some of your excess energy you sat in front of your dresser, putting some petroleum jelly on your palms to sooth the burn.

You sighed at the sight of your sparkly diamond. You couldn’t bear to look at it anymore. It reminded you of a happier and simpler time. The last thing you wanted was a complicated or dramatic relationship.

As you slid the ring off your finger placing it in your jewellery box, you couldn’t help but ponder on whether it was just as much of your fault as well.

You started packing your clothes into a small bag. Maybe you could spend a few nights at your mothers house until you can clear your head.

***

Steve hastily opened your apartment door with his keys. “Honey, I’m home.” He called out for you.

He rubbed his face, a nervous pit forming in his stomach. He knew he had been prioritising his work over you for weeks now, he didn’t know the extent of it until you told him off on the phone and then didn’t pick up any of his calls. He asked Sam to cover for him for the night as he made his way back home.

His enhanced hearing picked up on movements in the bedroom, he followed the sounds of your rustling, tossing his jacket on the couch.

His worst fears came true as he looked at you carelessly stuffing your clothes in a cabin bag. You spared him a glance before zipping the bag up.

He took a deep breath, he had to say the right words before he fucks up the situation more than he already has. “Sweetheart –“

“Steve, I’m leaving. I think we should take a break,” Your voice cracking a bit but you tried to be resilient and strong, you sighed as you saw the heartbroken look on his face as his jaw dropped “it’s hard for me too but it’s just not working anymore.”

“Is it hard for you?” He spit. “Everyone has problems, I just need one more chance.”

“I won’t let you break my heart again.” You swallowed as you felt tears stream down your cheeks, you wiped them with the back of your hand. “I’ll always love you but I’m tired of being disappointed and suspicious and jealous. It’s not who I am, it’s not who I want to be.”

“Wh – what do you mean suspicious?” He asked as his brows furrowed.

“I think you know what I mean. I know I’m not like a model or a kickass spy or unique. But I still want to be special to someone. I’m so...simple. I thought that was enough for you and us.”

“What are you even talking about?” He lost his composure and calm as his eyes watered, blurring his vision, he held onto your forearms, needing your touch the most right now, as if you won't leave if he held on tight enough. “I’m not special either.”

To which you scoffed. “That’s debatable.”

“It’s true. Captain America is special. He’s the superhero. I’m just Steve.”

“I know that’s what you think,” You said shaking his hands off of you and staring at the floor, not bearing to look at him “But it’s not the reality. Captain America is a part of you. And I think... maybe Captain America deserves someone extraordinary like Agent 13.” You let out a humorless chuckle.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He asked in his stern Captain voice, clenching his fists having had about enough of this.

You stiffened as a shiver ran down your spine at his tone. He had never spoken to you like that. He reserved that tone for his teammates and subordinates, and more often than not Tony. But not you. You were his precious baby.

You felt as if you were compelled to look up at him, he wasn’t crying anymore but his jaw had hardened, his face and neck flushed red. “Sharon. I mean,” You took a deep breath “I know there’s nothing between you two... probably.” you whispered as he raised a brow at you.

“But your work and duty will always come first and I know it is a good thing. But it’s not what I want. I thought I could handle it, the whole world needing you more than me and coming before me,” You spoke so lowly but you knew he could hear you, “but I can’t. I don’t think I ever will. A break will put things into perspective for both of us.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” He growled as you rolled your eyes. “How could you think those things? I need you more than anything else.” His anger was fuelled as you scoffed again, as if he was lying. “Don’t you dare hink that there’s anything past or present that I’d put before you. You’re the only thing that matters. I promise.”

“You may believe that, but your words only carry so much weight when they’re not followed up by actions. I know you’re not the cheating type,” You rambled pulling on your hair and sighing, it was all so overwhelming “I don’t know what to believe. When I go days without speaking to you – what else am I supposed to believe?”

He hesitantly snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, relieved that you didn’t stop him or push him away again, “Just give me one chance to prove myself. I know I’ll never be worthy of you but I don’t want us to give up so easily. Not without putting up a fight.” He gritted pulling your chin up as your hands played with the buttons on his shirt. “And you know how good I am at putting up a fight. I’ll always fight for you,” He smiled pulling your chin up to look at your pretty face.

“Okay,” You sniffled. “You’re always so good with words.” You smiled shaking your head.

He hummed at that. “I got you to go out with me, didn’t I?”

“What are you doing here anyway? Didn’t you have work?” you wanted to know.

He shushed you, pulling you into his chest and pressing his face in the crook of your neck. He craved your warmth and comfort especially after almost losing you. “I’ll never take you for granted again.” He nuzzled your neck before kissing it. “We can go venue hunting tomorrow. For the wedding.”

You smiled in his hold “Well I don’t know about that. Maybe the wedding planning can wait for a while.”

He hummed as he rested his chin on top of your head. He had his work cut out for him if he intended to keep you. He made a mental note of calling Tony first thing in the morning. “I hate it when we fight.” He said rocking you in his arms “But I like the making up part.”

You playfully smacked his chest. You just knew he was cheekily grinning. “I agree.” You giggled.

You hadn’t fought a whole lot throughout your relationship, but the make up sex was always amazing.

You gulped nervously as he captured your lips in a bruising and breath taking kiss. Letting you know just how much he loved you. You hummed as his hands caressed the soft skin of your ass, squeezing it lightly before he pulled you up.

You yelped as you wrapped your legs around his narrow waist. You trailed kisses down his jaw as he carried you to your bed. Giving him a nip or two here and there, smiling against his throat as you felt the vibrations of his moans.

He gently dropped you on your comfortable mattress, you giggled as you bounced.

Steve hovered above you, he was so large, he was the only thing you could look at. Your shaky hands worked on unbuttoning his shirt as he pulled your night shirt up, groaning at the sight of your soft nipples, hardening so easily at his touch. He pulled one in his mouth as he thoroughly sucked on it.

“Oh, Steve.” You moaned as his hand came up to pay some attention to your other breast, fondling it in his hand before tugging your stiff peak with his fingers. You gasped as he bit you. “Oh I’ll definitely feel that tomorrow,” You sighed pulling your shirt over your head as he made his way down your body, settling between your legs.

He looked at you as you bit your lip, your breasts laid flat as you chest heaved with anticipation. He let out a guttural sound as he saw and smelled just how aroused and wet you were for him. He licked a firm stripe up your warm folds before capturing your bundle of nerves in his mouth, harshly sucking on it as he worked you up with his fingers to get you ready for him.

The moans and mewls from your mouth and the squelching of his fingers were something akin to a symphony to his ears. He cooed as you thrashed wildly when he pulled away. “Steve!” You whined.

“Just a minute baby. You remember what we talked about? Patience.” He said as he quickly got rid of his clothes. His throbbing erection ached to be inside you. But he couldn’t help but tease his sweet girl a bit as he stroked himself above you, much to your displeasure.

He chuckled as you kicked your legs. “Patience,” He reminded you again as he bent to suck a bruise on your breast. He pulled away with a pop, pleased with the way your skin bruised under his assault, “So you’ll always remember how much I love you.” He murmured in your neck as he slowly entered your channel.

He stayed inside you just like that for a few minutes, it was comfortable like a warm hug, it felt like home because you were his home. No matter how many times he made love to you, he could never get used to how wet and tight you felt.

He sucked a few more love bites on your neck he knew you’d give him hell for later but in the moment he couldn’t bring himself to care.

He rocked his hips, slowly and tortuously pulling out of you before pushing back in till he bottomed out, searching for your special spot, he knew he found it when you threw your head back and started blabbering nonsense.

Your hips matched his pace, trying their best to keep up with his super strength and agility. He propped himself up on his elbows, he needed to see you, see your face twist in pleasure as he did such sinful things to you. Except they rarely ever felt sinful to him. It felt as if he was expressing his love for you by pleasing you and worshipping you.

“How could you ever think I don’t care about you?” He asked not really expecting an answer, what with you being so preoccupied and your mind too far gone to listen to him, as he drove his hips up harshly.

You shook your head muttering apologises and chanting his name as he felt you clench around him. Your nails dug into his shoulders, holding onto him as your orgasm hit you in waves of pleasure.

“I need you to say it.” He demanded. His thrusts lost any sense of rhythm simply pounding into you with abandon as he chased his release. “Say that you know that I love you.” He rasped as his hips stuttered. “Say. It.” He punctuated with a few more thrusts before he emptied inside you, panting into the crook of your neck.

“I know you love me Steve.” You mumbled as you ran your fingers through his hair. “I love you more.”

You felt him shake his head as he pecked your lips. “That’s not possible.”

“Yes it is!” You huffed incredulously.

“Agree to disagree.” He stated not really in the mood to fight with you anymore as you smacked his bicep, scoffing at him before muttering a ‘whatever’ under your breath. He pulled you on top of him still connected to your heat as he felt his spend spill out of you. “Can we stay like this for a bit?” He asked somewhat shyly.

You hummed, “Yes of course.” You sleepily mumbled against his soft and warm chest.

He listened to your breathing and steady heartbeat as you slipped into a dreamless slumber.

He couldn’t sleep. He only ever slept a couple of hours every night and now after everything that perspired, he was scared he’d fall asleep and you’d be gone when he wakes up.

There was no way in hell he’d ever let you. He’d give up the shield if he had to. He was as stupidly stubborn as you if not more. He was sure he’d fix everything as he kissed the top of your head and covered the pair of you with the comforter. So you’d feel as warm and comfortable as him.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Comments and feedback are appreciated! ❤❤

Idk how Sharon comes off in this but no Sharon hate please! I don't have an opinion on her but I believe in girls supporting girls. Thank you😘😘

[cttrajan1206]

#arrow sys#Love them#Absolute sweethearts all of em#And suoer fun to sprint with

FIRST OF ALL SOBS /pos

second,,, i know nothing abt twst or obey me but grabby hands at a ramble; i will absolutely listen if you wanted to talk about it :starry:

JSHDJF [WAILS ALOUD] I TOOK SO LONG SO GET BACK TO YOU THAT I FINISHED ONE OF THE WIPS IN THAT TIME LMAO!!

Well!! This is good promo! :> The one that i was typing up is finished now and it's the obey me fic! You can find it here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33644662

Mammon and Movies:

Basically! Someone read another fic of mine that included my self insert flappy stimming and also getting mental breakdown so it asked if i could include a couple other stims in another work since he enjoyed my first one! I. Took that request and made an entire fic dedicated to him lmao. So! I asked it later on for what it would like me to include and which character to use and here we are!

This is a 4K fic of Mammon from Obey Me paired with a Neurodivergent!Reader. The plot is that of him showing you a magic trick and smoothly whipping out a movie ticket!! You've been wanting to ask him to see a movie with you for a while so this is perfect! So perfect in fact that you're overwhelmed with happiness and have a brief moment of being nonverbal as you're overwhelmed with euphoria. Then the next day, you meet him at the venue and the date begins! Other scenes include him allowing you to hold onto his bracelets as it's one of your stims (he wears one of every texture to accomodate to your tastes), you dissociating out of anxiety in a movie theatre and him helping to ground you, and finally! Him sleeping on your shoulder before the movie ends.

Ik i kinda just said the majority of the plot lmao but! Its just a fluffy and sweet movie date! I enjoyed writing it a lot although i got about 80% of it done a month ago and tyn didn't touch it for like 2 weeks sjdbsjd i was p sad abt that. I like finishing things quickly esp when its for other people!! But it was a comfort during a hard time to write this work at 2am under the light of a night lamp and to the tune of street life ambience.

ALSO I FOUND OUT THAT MAMMONS OFFICIAL SONG "ARE YOU READY" LEGIT HAS NO HOURLONG LOOPS AND THAT WAS A HARD HIT TO ME BC LIKE I WANTED TO LISTEN TO IT ON TV BUT IT WASNT HAPPENINGGG TWT WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE ALL THE OTHER OTHER BROTHER'S SONGS INSTEAD LIKE PLSSS

Anyway lmao i'm quite happy with this work, it feels very round and finished to me which makes me happy because it means I didn't need to worry about editing it to feel satisfied. The requester liked it a lot too! Which made me super super happy. :>

Now!! For the twisted wonderland!! That’s a comfort plotline of mine that doesn’t really have a title yet and is still a wip that is written through my friend’s DMs BUT! I will also take the time to promo my twst writing blog! It is dead QvQ On there, you can see a bit more about the self insert in question but for now, i’ll just put the ship name as the title.

https://twst-sumi-squad.tumblr.com/

Kalim Al-Asim X Sumi Bint Khattar (Plot line):

So!! This one stemmed from me drawing something out of self indulgence and to show it to my friend, I described Sumi B in full and then I told them about my ships and around that time I had like five love songs I was obsessed with. And for each of them. I had. A separate animatic. For like at least 1 ship, the average was two but one had three. Sumi B was the centre of the most ships but not the only one. Anyway!! I told my friend about this and asked if I could dump my ideas onto them! They agreed and I started with a summarised version but then realised I needed a bit more build up so I started to write it in a bit more detail. Hah. It ended up being a Lot More Detailed but even then, I would write the scenes in a much more fluid and descriptive way if it were Real Writing so! I call it a Plotline. It is very long.

The plot itself is. long now. it’s a slowburn lmao because most if not all of my self insert ships tend to be slowburns. But this one? This particular self insert? Sumi B? Yeah she’s the only one with trust issues so she mothers the BIGGEST slowburns known to history. It takes them a year before she even considers him a friend despite seeing him every day and also having multiple deep conversations with him. Anyway though, this one is a big comfort becuase it has something I didn’t really dare to do before. Kalim, the canon character, falls in love with my oc first. Normally I have it the other way round becuase I’m too scared to assume that I would be like, deserving or like desirable enough for someone to have a crush on me. But with Sumi B, even I have a goddamn crush on her lmao. I indulge myself a bit with this one and really play around with emotions and!! In the most recent scene! We have finally reached the part where she actually starts to love him back! :D

I started this one a loooong time ago, at least a month and maybe two? It was Intended to be finsiehd in one night and then i got carried away and my friend got invested and then I ALSO got invested and so I started to develop the plot further so make it more interesting and keep the buildup going. It’s very fun and though i try to limit myself to summarising actions and dialogue, i fail. very often. so it often has little tidbits of more beautiful sentences and tension lmao. 

This particular fic is based off of my imagined animatic for the song “Would you be so kind” by Dodie! I didn’t know about the song until i saw other people’s animatics and I ended up taking it and running away haha! I’m currently really happy with it however I am really dreading the day where I actually write it out properly. If I don’t? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll post the plotline by itself. I have another fic just like it, one with a different self insert who (in fact) is very very close with Sumi B and considers her his older sister, that i ALSO wrote in semi detailed plot lines in someone’s DMs. Both are massive comforts to me and though i love them, their plot lines are so goddamn long that i will dread the day i decide to write them all out.

So uhm!!! Yeah!! XDD Those are the two fics I was talking about! I hope you enjoyed my small ramblings about them haha. I’m starting college soon though so I fear I might have much more time for fanfic.

[floragators]

(PINNED POST) My Stuff ig

(Heads up!! Some of the links are not working due to the fact I changed my username from cottonbunrun to floragators)

(More heads up!! This account is strictly SFW, there maybe some slightly suggestive stuff or sensitive topics discussed briefly but absolutely no explicit NSFW content! I will make a separate account for that when I’m ready. I do tolerate NSFW accounts but you will not see that around here.)

( For my Godzilla and Transformers content, go to @kaiju-gurlfriend and for my non-self shipping one go to @crackicrossiships)

( As a selfshipper, I’m honestly okay with sharing most if not all of my f/os and I never intend to belittle or make someone uncomfortable for loving the same f/o. Trust me I have encountered people who attacked me just for liking the same character for goodness sake. I honestly want to be friends with most of them!

So please if you can’t tolerate sharing the same f/o then DON’T interact with me, I will not always be able to catch on as quickly to someone disliking me because we share the same f/o. However especially DO NOT interact if you actively attack other selfshippers or oc x canon cause then your just being an asshole. Good day self shipping nation.)

General info:

My preferred name is Alligatia but you can also call me Gatia! I don’t mind my irl name but I prefer to keep it private unless we are very close mutuals.

I’m Aceflux Bisexual Aroflux Aegoromantic and Demigirlflux Nonbinary. My preferred pronouns is they/them and occasionally she/her.

I’m Hispanic/Latino with my mom being Uruguayan and my dad being Cuban. I’m also born and raised in Florida, so yes I am a florida man/hj

I’m in college and currently majoring in Psychology! However I do wanna hopefully pursue or do animation on the side, if I ever get the chance to ofc.

I’m an diagnosed and yet undiagnosed neurodivergent individual that does have Anxiety but also might have Autism, ADHD, and OCD. I do infact have IEP but I’ve never actually been to the doctor to get diagnosed with who, who knows. I also do have intrusive thoughts that are currently getting less frequent but still are there to vibe check me.

I am infact a furry and I do draw all kinds of anthro art. I am indeed a huge non-human lover even when i was a kid. I love robots, aliens, and different kinds of monsters that I do also simp over. Please respect that and for the love of all goldfish crackers, don’t believe in the stereotype that all furries are sexual. Plz and thank you.

My birthday is February 3rd!! I’m currently 18 years old.

I’m in my healing arc as a people pleaser/hj

Links to certain stuff:

New and Improved F/o list!!

FNF Alligatia (Minus Version) (Soft Version) (Algal Gatia)

BTAS Gatia/Arkham Nurse Gatia

Spooky Month Serpente

Rhythm Heaven Fever Gatia/Garia

Cherry Bomb(Whitty x GF) Au Info

Art info kinda-

Elementary School au

Whitty au stuff (Soft! whitty)

Wattpad Book on my Fankids with my f/os

My fankids with my f/o listing

Heads Up! Talk about my mental health

Outdated stuff:

Alligatia FNF Self insert

Joyfriend FNF Self Insert

Serpente MC Self Insert

(HAS BEEN REVAMP) My F/Os List!!

(HAS BEEN REVAMPED) Arkham Nurse Gatia

REMINDER I HAVE GENERAL BASIC DNI, SO THAT INCLUDES:

PROSHIPPERS/COMSHIPPERS

P3D0/MAPS/Z00s/RACI3TS/ETC.

AGE UP MINORS IN ORDER TO S3XUALIZE THEM

ANTI-LGBT, TRANS/ASEXUAL/AROMANTIC-EXCLUSIVES

ANTI-FURRY

PEOPLE WHO INVALIDATE UNDIAGNOSED PEOPLE

ZIONIST AND PRO-ISRAELI/IDF

DONT BELIEVE THAT FICTION DOES AFFECT REALITY

ACTIVELY ATTACK OR PUT DOWN OTHER SELFSHIPPERS OR OC X CANON SHIPPERS, REGARDLESS IF YOU ARE ONE YOURSELF OR SHARE THE SAME CHARACTER YOUR AN ASSHOLE FOR THAT (genuinely had that happen to me twice not even with my own selfships)

A thread on how to help support Palestine:

https://x.com/crowley_kissr/status/1749183288495779905?s=46

(I’ll update the list if I need to!!)

I will still be updating on this thing but that's what I got so far

[candyheartedchy]

Hi, I've been a fan of your blog for about a year now, and I just have to ask, how did you have the confidence to make a selfship blog?

Since finding you, I've really been inspired by you and have wanted to make one for myself. But my art style is kind of sort of easy to spot and I'm scared my irl friends would find the blog and be weirded out or make fun of me for it.

I love my friends, and I know they love me, but I'm just really worried.

Let me start with saying, please don’t ever let fear stop you from doing what you want to do. As someone who been self inserting pretty much since they were little by drawing pictures and playing make believe, I was used to self inserting. Now that doesn’t mean I was never embarrassed by it when I got older. I’ve known of the community for a while and wanted to join, but was nervous for years. Yes, it took years for me to finally get the courage to do it. But I figured that I have been drawing this type of stuff for pretty much my whole life with nobody to show it too. It felt a bit lonely. So I finally made a blog and posted some self ship art. And BOY was I scared! But since then, people in the community have been so supportive and accepting, and I treasure that a lot!

Now about worrying your friends irl will come across it, you could always bring it up one day to them, like, hey what’s your opinion on self shipping? And if they have a negative response, you could then ask them if they had ever imagined what it would be like interacting with a favorite fictional character of theirs or imagined themselves in a fictional character’s universe. And everyone had a fictional crush at least once in their life, some grow out of it, others rediscovered theirs! But if they still joke about self shipping, you shouldn’t let that stop you from doing what makes you happy! Living in fear isn’t healthy, trust me, I’ve struggled with it my whole life. But overall, don’t force yourself if you’re not ready. And if you are, take that first step! I hope you have a lovely day and I hope this helps!

[dreambones]

About / FAQ

About me

Hello! I’m DreamBones (previously ADreamaredoodle), but I usually go by Dream for short.

I graduated from Video game Design and I’m an independent Game Developer.

I’m 33 years old.

My first language is Spanish, but I also speak English (minus some grammatical errors).

I use She/Her pronouns but identify as Nonbinary (Pansexual, Polyamorous). 

Fandoms I jump around and you’ll likely to see here

Five Nights at Freddy’s

Cuphead: Don’t deal with the devil.

Minecraf Story Mode.

Animal Crossing.

Pokemon.

Legend of Zelda.

Boku no Hero Academia / My Hero Academia.

General horror and old slasher movies.

Romance, cheesy stuff.

Tags, generic tags I use for content some might want to avoid

Not all of these are used as often as others, I try to tag everything that I consider could be triggering in some wait (like specific phobias), but these are the generic tags if you want to avoid everythiing related to a specific subject.

TW: Horror (Everything related with horror, from mild creepy things to slasher and more bloody content.)

TW: Nudity / TW: Partial nudity (Used if a character is shirtless or wearing something more revealing than usual. Everything will be SFW and Teen (T) +17)

TW: Suggestive (For those random jokes that might be more mature. Everything will be SFW and Teen (T) +17)

FAQ

What art programs do you use?

I use Paint Tool Sai, Procreate and Pyxel edit. You can find a more detailed answer here.

As for game making, I use RPG Maker MZ and MV.

If I block you please don’t make new accounts to follow again.

If you realize I have blocked your account, it’s likely becase personal reasons, I’m not comfortable with the content in your blog, or you are too young to be following.

I know it’s not fun being blocked, but please respect that! Do not make multiple accounts and keep following because I will keep blocking you, respect other people boundaries. 

How can I contact you for commissions?

If  you are interested in commissions and you see them open, you can send me a DM (direct message) here on Tumblr and I will answer you as soon as I’m available.

Something you posted bothers me…

Please let me know (kindly) so I can tag it. I try to tag everything that I believe might be triggering, but I’ll very likely miss some topics so don’t be afraid to letting me know.

But also keep in mind the kind of content I make, if you don’t like horror then it’s probably better you don’t follow me. I want to be mindful of triggers, but also I won’t censor my own content if it’s not needed.

Hey this person you rebloged from is problematic because of (insert reason here).

If I rebloged/shared from someone problematic, is very likely I don’t know they are, so please let me know so I can do something about it. I will only take action if there is proof! I don’t trust the “This person is bad, believe me bro”.

Hey this person you are friends with blocked me, can you tell me why/ask them to unblock me?

Sorry but no. I don’t mediate between my friends and their followers. If you insist then you’ll get blocked.

Are you ok with Fan art?

Yes! I am totally cool with fan art! I’m always honored someone wants to draw characters Ive made and stuff.

My only rules about it are:

No shipping (I’ve had problems with this in the past, plus I have several ocs that are self inserts in a way). This also includes nothing NSFW, please keep it SFW.

No gore/bloody stuff. There are some exceptions to this rule since I have lots of  horror characters, but a good guide is if I’ve drawn it, I’m cool with it.

Please tag me in your post so I can reblog! You can also submit if you prefer, but I rather reblog a post of yours and give you the notes. They might be my ocs but it’s your work.

Please don’t put parts of my art in the fan art you post, you can use them as reference for the drawing, but it’s a bit uncomfortable to see fan art posted with my original drawing in a corner.

My game characters have a different set of rules for fanart, you can check them out at my game blog @dreambonesgames

[TBA more as I get them]

Please do not interact with me or my blog if (DNI)

You support, create, reblog any kind of incest and/or pe/dophilic content.

Racist.

Homophobic.

Transphobic / Transmisogynistic.

Transmed /Trsuscum.

Panphobic, Biphobic.

Exclusionist.

Fascist

Islamphobic

Anti - semite.

Believe / support cringe culture.

[jcfoxington]

@sambambucky​ : “pls... Pastels, Peaches and Pain??? among us first draft??? marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts (it’s not an au!?!??!)

hi jo !!! Pastels, Peaches, and Pain is one of those sambucky wips i have mostly fully fleshed out in my head because of one (1) extreme moment of clarity after a rogue ‘what if’ tangent thought but havent written anything of yet out of restraint / knowing i need to finish at least one of my current sambucky wips before i start it or none of them will get done

this was the rogue tangent thought: “what if Sam is haunted by Figaro’s ghost and has been since he was a kid?”. i’ve changed the ghost cat to not be Figaro but that’s the premise !

i refer to the fic as the cat fic ‘cause the whole plot is based around sam’s ghost cat companion insisting he adopts nat’s cat Liho after endgame and then Figaro later and then [insert redacted because plot spoilers but just know it relates to Alpine]. no im not projecting my feelings about cats idk what youre talking about 

here’s some note snippets just for you:

the cat, inexplicably, takes a liking to bucky, which is really annoying bc sam doesnt know how to explain to him that all the oddly soft gusts of wind are actually sam's dead cat insisting on getting pats

bucky getting shade thrown at him by said ghost cat during all of tfatws + them making up (and not out. yet)

starts when sam's a kid & follows him as he grows up w/ a ghost kitty as a companion only he can see & interact with + angst with an undertone of comedy + getting together

he whispers to ghost kitty, who simply mmrrs happily

for the among us first draft thing, what basically happened is i saw this tweet and this video and my brain latched onto these dynamics so hard i had to write about them. 

here’s a sketch of my two main imposters, Black (left) and Cyan (right):

and here’s a snippet:

The thing having Cyan pause and stare out at the asteroid field is how the colors stretch to family. When they and Black came aboard, they had thought every crewmember was an adult working on the planet-change project. That the patch of off-white with a black something-pattern-or-shape signified status. In a way, Cyan supposes it does, but just not the way they expected. They had expected it to show what rank an individual held within the hierarchy of the crew, from deckhand to division leader to captain, not to show that you're family of the crew and not actually part of the crew itself. 

There are innocents on this ship. Children. It was not something any of them had anticipated, and not something Cyan had been prepared to deal with. They and Black boarded this horrible place to eradicate a threat, believing each and single one of the humans were accomplishes and dedicated to the goal of destroying Cyan and Black's species, and their planet. But, now?

marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts... doesn’t have a wip title or seperate document for itself yet cause it’s been stuck in my ‘story ideas’ document since its creation. so ‘marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts’ is literally just me describing the vibe of an original world gjkerfkds

the world came to be for two reasons. firstly, i want to do make take on a superhero universe because the plot and complete lack of communication in both the dcu and mcu piss me the fuck off. secondly, needed a place to dump ocs with elaborate backstories or fantasy / sci-fi abilities that dont fit into any of my existing worlds

which sounds super competent but trust me, it isn’t. it didn’t gain any solidity at all until i decided to do a personal ‘how different can i make spn castiel look & still retain the same vibe?’ challenge. i have my own cas now

however, the reason i said ‘marvel meets...’ is because i’ve snagged a couple of different things from the mcu, most notably: enemies to reluctant coworkers to lovers, yes our best friend have the same name. no they’re not the same person, secret evil org is controlling the government, and the assassin that tried to kill you several times is now your best friend

warframe was added to the world because i got attached to my Volt build, gave them a name, and have some headcanons idk what to do with because i refuse to interact with that fandom. also because the friend i made through discussing warframe lore + plot dicked me over so it feels Bad to create for

the glue to this whole mess is that one “in every friend group there’s a mean bisexual, an even meaner lesbian, a she/they, a he/they, a himbo, an astrology bitch, a short king, and a token straight” tumblr post. my main group of superheroes ala the avengers consist of these people. the token straight is the only one i havent figured out who is yet

ever since i figured that out ive been throwing story / character ideas and weirdly specific aesthetics from popular tumblr posts into this world’s notes. here’s some examples:

sword grandmas

that trope where someone’s really nice and acts super well-adjusted to society but then they do something super whack and dangerous and you realize ‘oh they’re secretly a little bit insane, actually’

anti-gay group’s leader’s wife leaves him for another woman

superhero who swore to be the best hero [city / planet / solar system / continent / ????] has ever seen ever since he lost his wife. not because she’s dead but divorce just sucks & the hero-to-be is terrible at coping

dishevelled swamp witch

that one person who runs around with an amulet all the time & isn’t aware it’s cursed

an exasperated, tired superhuman assassin running after their husband and their husband's best friend. their husband and said husband's best friend both have wings. chaos ensues (yes, this one is a sambucky post)

ask me about my WIPs!

BONUS:

@sambambucky​​ : #i want to have a coffee and listen to synopses of all of these.... #i miss the discord wow #WRITING TAG #waitttt time jumping dream movie? lmao I'VE READ THIS LIST FORTY TIMES and every time i rediscover something i wanna know about #outfit doodlesss ugh i need to go

couldnt not respond to your tags because they make me go ghrkjfnerknf but in the good way. we miss you too jo !!

the time jumping dream movie was one of the first vivid dreams i had and the whole thing was so stupidly coherent and whacky i had to write it down. it grew plot, a queer love dynamic, weird sci-fi apocalypse elements, anti-military propaganda, questionable science, and a sequel while i wasnt looking and now i just. have to make it a real movie or i’ll combust

outfit djoodlles.png is only on there because my best friend sent me a ‘draw this outfit’ meme and space kitty, my current character brainrot, stole all the outfits for himself. otherwise, that file just sits there until im feeling like designing an outfit or wanna see how a stupid thing looks on my oc patrick

here’s one of the two poses-to-doodle-outfits-on of space kitty ive made so far:

and here’s one of those stupid things on patrick (that then turned into an actual outfit of his because i have no self control):

[delusion-of-negation]

you know what, anon, fuck you. first of all as I hate formatting, which I gotta do now so I can post this with adequate tws for mentions of csa, and second of all because I'm not obliged to add an "uwu pedophilia bad tho" at the end of every post about unrelated sexual stuff.

[edit: rpf stands for real person fiction, btw]

"While I normally don't care to a large degree about RPF's, as long as they are not openly accessible as mentioned. I gotta say there's kinda a line,"

so, you imply that what I said was inoffensive - although you say and imply, respectively, that I said that things have to be inaccessible and that there's no line, neither of which I said in the relevant post. I said that the best bet is to make it so a conscious decision is required to view, ie a click, and I explicitly said that you can post said link publicly. and, the more I think about it, the more I actually think that I was too rigid in that post - not all rpf is slash, or even shipping or fandom in any way at all, and I was very tired at the time, and the post nut clarity hadn't hit, and I was thinking in terms of comfort, but fiction does not exist to make you comfortable. political cartoons, historical fiction, dramatisations of events, all of these are forms of rpf that can be mass advertised and put in newspapers, and should be. I take it back, I literally do not give a fuck at all.

but nevertheless, you still feel it appropriate to show up in my inbox, to drag a trigger into this, for absolutely no reason at all...

"and that line is when real minors, teens or children are used in a NSFW fic."

I'm disinterested in that line of questioning. I wasn't talking about that. the only cases I've ever even seen that were at all vaguely like what you're talking about were minors online getting harassed for having crushes on, and writing or drawing other, comparably aged, minors in scenarios so vanilla even granny wouldn't blush (and I have a commanding presence, but even I can't convince teenagers not to be horny for celebrities). idk if you're an anti or some proship dude who found a nice tasting anti dick to suck, but I have to assume it's one or the other because there's zero other reason to go there. there is not a pandemic in fandom of adults writing graphic sex betwixt them and real children, or posting it for those kids to see, it doesn't happen. and thus I do not care to be called upon by total strangers to discuss the ethics of shit that isn't happening land. I don't care to qualify every single fucking post, which had nothing at all to do with minors, with "but uwu pedophilia bad", because your immediate response to someone talking about adults is to go "hmm yes but what if those adults are attracted to children". my guy, nobody here was thinking about that.

anons respect csa survivors' wishes to not have triggers sent to them, and stop bringing children into every unrelated convo challenge.

"Even if it's not directly NSFW, just "hinted" there's something... iffy about it,"

wow okay. so I said I didn't want to go down this bullshit line of questioning about a thing that doesn't happen, but who defines a hint? you literally read multiple things into my post that 100% weren't there, and sent this shit, I legitimately don't trust your judgement. what about non-explicit (ie hinted) vent art that I made as a kid about what I went through? it's about a kid (me), so was I being naughty?

"especially when the pairing is an adult person, either someone they work/interact with, or "OC's" (self inserts especially)"

again, this literally doesn't happen. but why? your standards are absolutely nonsensical. if the (understandable, albeit totally unrelated to my post) premise is that seeing such a sexualisation of themself can be harmful to kids... none of this matters. the amount of sexualisation there doesn't change if it's two kids written about or an adult, and whether that adult was a self-insert or not is equally irrelevant. it has no bearing on what's been done to the kid because what I, up until these parts, assumed you take issue with is the kid's exposure to such description of themself. an oc wouldn't make it any more descriptive of the kid in an inappropriate way. if anything, two kids is the worst of the lot, that's twice the potential for kids exposed to such description.

this line changed it for me - I was already not joyful about you making my, again, not at all about minors comment about minors, but this made it clear that you didn't just see my post and go "hmm I'm worried about a ridiculous hypothetical", you saw my post and went "but pedophiles". harm to kids wasn't the priority, the priority was being grossed out by the most pedoy pedo you could dream up and sending that to me to demand that I also be grossed out. I know that because you think a self-insert is the worst objectively - however, if I write "and then my self-insert bungley mcscrumple, the leprechaun with twelve heads, banged [idfk any celebrities, let alone underage ones]", that is a stupid sentence that hurts not a single soul who read it, while a detailed description of [well if I don't know one, I definitely don't know two underage celebrities] doing the do, with constant comments about their bodies... well? that's not how you were thinking though, bungley is a self-insert who did a pedo thing, therefore the writer is a pedo, therefore that's worse. you're not thinking with portals, anon, you're barely even thinking with braincells.

anyway, my stance on rpf involving kids is case by case - I can't act like political satire, which I failed to consider in my initial reblog of that post, can't ever involve real kids, who the post and my initial reblog had absolutely nothing to do with. as for sexual rpf involving them, I didn't want to talk about it, but since you've forced my hand, I now think that it should be a requirement in job interviews to submit rpf of bungley mcscrumple, the leprechaun with twelve heads, passionately making love to at least two underaged celebrity boys. why not.

and for future anons, yeah sure I endorse any and all bullshit scenarios you dream up that assume inoffensive posts are offensive if they don't also express an opinion on idk pringles.

[andrewmoocow]

Steven Universe Alternate Future chapter 11: In Dreams (originally posted on March 29, 2021)

AN: Hope you all packed your bags dear readers, cause we're gonna go on a real trip. One of my initial ideas for Alternate Future was with the addition as Aquamarine as a more major antagonist, we'd also have a mini-character arc about Peridot blaming herself for Steven's capture at the end of Season 4 even years later, which I felt was kind of a waste of possible character development for the little nacho. Regardless, it's time I finally see it through myself. And trust me, I'm really gonna put Peri through the wringer.

Synopsis: Steven's dream powers start acting up when he and Peridot want to watch TV.

Cast:

Zach Callison as Steven, Stefan

Shelby Rabara as Peridot

Johnny Hawkes as Cookie Cat, Rodrigo

Marieve Hernington as Jasmine

Della Saba as Marine, Aquamarine

--

The night was dark as Steven strolled through Beach City on his way home after a long day until he heard music. Racing to the beach house, he discovered that colorful flashing lights and loud music were coming from inside the house, and that got him super excited.

"All right!" Steven gasped cheerfully. "Now that I've saved the universe, I finally get to party!" When he raced to his front window, Steven could see all his friends inside dancing the night away. Garnet, Amethyst & Pearl, Lars and the Off-Colors, Lapis, Bismuth & Peridot, Connie, even Onion was breaking it down. Before he could join the fun, however, the door and windows suddenly vanished, leaving behind an empty wooden wall. "Huh? Hey guys, let me in! This isn't funny!"

"STEVEN!" a booming voice echoed from above. When Steven looked up, he discovered that Obsidian's head was replaced with a giant Cookie Cat looking down on him with a taunting grin. "NOBODY NEEDS YOUR HELP! SO WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!"

"What?!" Steven cried before the porch opened up like a trap door under him, forcing the boy to fall through the sky screaming.

--

"STEVEN! STEVEN!"

A little voice broke Steven out of slumber and back into the real world in his bedroom. "Why do I keep having these dreams?" he mused to himself. "Are they telling me something?"

"STEVEN, OPEN UP!" the voice cried out while pounding on the door.

"Peridot?" Steven began to recognize the green Gem's nasally voice as he walked downstairs and let the former Kindergartener in.

"STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN STEVEN!" Peridot chanted, beetling in place while holding popcorn and drinks. "Today's the big day! Did you tape the premiere?!"

"What premiere? I have no idea what you're talking about." Steven said coyly.

"But you promised me!" Peridot whined, not realizing that her half-organic friend might be joking.

"Oh, you mean the premiere of the reboot of the classic Great North teen camping drama Camp Pining Hearts that I recorded," Steven revealed as he pulled out a VHS tape. "on this very tape?"

Peridot gasped at the mere mention of the show she had awaited for so long and began squealing excitedly. "Yes, it's finally here!"

"THE RETURN OF CAMP PINING HEARTS!" the pair declared joyfully.

--

Steven and Peridot raced upstairs to watch the Camp Pining Hearts reboot when Steven realized someone was missing. "Hey, where's Lapis? I thought she was a big fan of CPH as you are."

"Oh, she declined to attend our viewing because she feels this reboot will be an abomination." Peridot answered as she sat down at the foot of Steven's bed. "You know that United Defenders of the World show? She really likes that too, and that's gotten a reboot much like Camp Pining Hearts, but she doesn't like how that is so dark and depressing because apparently, it's more adult. I mean, come on! Can't we go one minute without any intense violence or Mangolin yelling so many nasty wo-"

"What, she's not coming because one show clouds her judgment of another?" Steven rolled his eyes at Peridot's explanation while putting the tape into his VHS player. "That's a little silly. But I'm glad you were still able to come because I've been having these weird dreams lately. Like, are any of them real or-"

"That's not important Steven!" Peridot shut her fellow fan's mouth. "Now press play already you monster!"

Steven chuckled for a bit before he started the tape, and the theme song for the Camp Pining Hearts reboot began to play while two attractive young actors were credited for the roles of its leads, Jasmine and Rodrigo. Steven excitedly ate popcorn while Peridot waved a Great North flag around as the show began.

--

Fifty-two minutes later, the credits finally rolled, and Steven & Peridot were left stunned, silent, and disappointed.

"L-Lapis warned me, and I didn't listen." Peridot quivered in shock.

"W-what?" Steven added, just as horrified. "What…."

"WHAT HAVE THEY DONE?!" the pair roared in unison.

"What is with that Rodrigo guy?!" Peridot began complaining and clawing at her face. "He has no charisma! He is clearly inferior to the old cast!"

"And can we just talk about the cinematography?" Steven added just as furiously while Peridot got up and marched towards the TV.

"They changed all the characters, and I don't care about any one of them!" Peridot threw a tantrum and began venting by picking up the set & slamming it to the ground. "How could this happen to us?!" she began to cry her eyes out on the television. "Camp Pining Hearts was my escape when I first arrived on Earth, when my whole world was nothing but chaos!"

"CPH brought us all together." Steven comforted his green friend, though he was sobbing as well.

"And now, just look at this nightmare!" Peridot yelled with a hand to the TV screen when it stopped showing the Camp Pining Hearts reboot. Instead, it began playing Steven's dream from last night. "Wait, Steven, when were you ever an actor?"

"What? No, they didn't!" Steven exclaimed as the dream continued on television. "Is this my dreams?" When Steven watched himself fall from the beach house in his dream, the TV then switched back to Camp Pining Hearts. "Whoa! My dream powers must be messing with the TV signal!"

"How in the world is that even possible?!" Peridot raised an eyebrow at this revelation, but it also gave her an idea. "Wait just a second. Steven, you realize what this means?!"

"I should start wearing a tinfoil hat?" Steven asked, unaware of what the little genius had planned.

"No!" Peridot answered. "If we use your dream powers on the TV, we can make our own Camp Pining Hearts! We'll reboot the reboot!"

"Reboot the reboot?" Steven realized and excitedly stood up. "Peridot, you're a genius!"

"I know." Peridot smugly declared.

"Plus, it would be really fun to fix something small this time." Steven said before Peridot wrapped a lime-colored arm around his neck.

"This shall be the beginning of Peridot & Steven Productions!" Peridot triumphantly declared.

"Yeah!" Steven added, and then he fell from Peridot's grasp.

--

Later that day, Steven and Peridot were now standing in front of a whiteboard detailing all their plans for fixing the Camp Pining Hearts Reboot, bouncing more plans off each other in regards to shipping.

"So Peridot, you think Jasmine's endgame should be Khaz or Rodrigo?" Steven asked Peridot while looking at a web of pictures of the characters from the reboot.

"It seems the characters are trying to railroad us into a Jasrigo relationship, despite turning everyone else into complete jerks just because they don't agree with-" Peridot began, but then she started getting irritated. "Gah, these characters have no chemistry together! It's like they're being shipped just because they're the leading man and woman!"

"Just can't get into Rodrigo, eh?" Steven asked his writing partner.

"He's just so passive and quiet, it's positively irritating!" Peridot yelled. "He has none of the old cast's personalities that made them so memorable!"

"Sure he may be really quiet and soft," Steven assured Peridot. "but what if we try to do something with his social anxiety and peanut allergy despite them not being connected to the larger story, like make him a foil?"

"A foil, you say?" Peridot raised an eyebrow at Steven's idea. "Okay, I'm listening."

"I got it!" Steven declared before he sat down in front of some pencils and paper and began to draw. "I call him Stefan." He began explaining while drawing. "He's a hunky lifeguard friend with nice muscles that everyone likes and wants to hang out with. His popularity is both a blessing and a curse, yet always makes time to help his buddy Rodrigo boost his confidence." He handed his final drawing over to Peridot, which turned out to be a sketch of a more muscular Steven.

"So he's like your self-insert!" Peridot beamed at her friend's work. "I like your ideas, Stefan!"

--

As night fell, Steven got back into bed with a bowl of chili in his lap while Peridot inserted the tape into the VCR player.

"Uh, why are you eating at bedtime?" Peridot questioned Steven's choice of a bedtime meal.

"Oh, you mean my chili?" Steven replied, gesturing to the chili in his hands. "I read that eating spicy stuff before bed makes your dreams super vivid."

"I appreciate your initiative, fellow creator." Peridot grinned at Steven's idea while he continued eating his chili.

"Thanks, Peridot." Steven thanked Peridot before putting the bowl on his nightstand and tucking himself in. "Okay, good night."

"Good night Steven. But remember," Peridot said as she started whispering into Steven's ear. "action-orientated storytelling."

--

"Hey Jasmine, I hear you love birds." A tanned, muscular version of Steven said flirtatiously to a cute brown-haired girl examining a bird perched in her hand.

"Sure Stefan." Jasmine giggled cutely.

"Well, a little birdie told me downstream that there's a special island somewhere 'round here." Stefan replied, leaning against a tree and giving Jasmine a wink while pointing offscreen. "I hear it's full of rare specimens."

"Did you hear that?" Jasmine gasped elatedly. "Thank you so much Stefan!" Stefan responded by giving Jasmine another wink.

Meanwhile, Rodrigo was by himself at a campsite reading an instructional book on how to date when Stefan came racing to him.

"Rodrigo, I've got terrible news!" Stefan exclaimed, catching Rodrigo's attention. "Jasmine's in danger!"

"Wait, what?!" Rodrigo did a double-take in response.

"She's headed for that island full of dangerous birds!" Stefan revealed, propping one foot on a rock and dramatically pointing to the river nearby. "But if we go downstream, we can surely save her!"

"Okay Stefan, you're the best!" Rodrigo shouted. "Let's go save Jasmine!"

The pair raced for a pair of canoes docked close to the campsite and began rowing through the river to rescue Jasmine.

"Thanks for telling me Jasmine was in trouble Stefan, you're such a great guy." Rodrigo complimented Stefan.

"You're welcome Rodrigo." Stefan replied gratefully. "You're pretty great yourself, y'know, great enough for Jasmine to like you."

"You really mean it?" Rodrigo asked eagerly.

"I can tell by the way she looks at," Stefan began, but then he started getting sidetracked by Blue Diamond with the body of a dolphin, a gargantuan pineapple with Yellow Diamond's face on it, and a pair of White Diamond's feet right next to the fruit. "you? Huh?"

"Stefan, is something the matter?" Rodrigo asked Stefan, or rather Steven, who had now replaced Stefan in the dream.

"Oh no, not again!" Steven began panicking as he started to glow pink yet again, not knowing how things ended up like this.

--

As Steven woke up in his bed, he found Peridot standing at the side of his bed, looking very excited at how the experiment went.

"Oh my stars Steven, you did it!" Peridot cheered excitedly. "You just fell asleep and started turning pink, which started happening in the dream! Here, I'll show you!" She then ran over to the TV and began playing Steven's dream again. "Our script, our story, it's on the television and it's wonderful!" she kept on praising. "Not sure what you were going for with that bizarre imagery towards the end but I'll admit, seeing Yellow Diamond's face on a pineapple made me laugh."

Amid Peridot's eagerness, however, Steven then started to get drowsy again.

"Steven, are you okay?" Peridot asked with concern.

"Sorry Peri, just feeling a little off." Steven assured her. "Maybe eating that chili wasn't a great idea."

"Yeah yeah, don't believe everything you read online and all that." Peridot japed. "We got none of the money in the world, and all the time in our hands. Hey, I've got a great idea of my own! Picture this, a mysterious young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face arrives at the camp because she wants to kidnap Stefan for her own dark designs. But before she can succeed, Pierre from the original Camp Pining Hearts comes in to save the day!"

"Uh, okay then." Steven replied awkwardly while trying to make himself comfortable. "But you're right, let's pull off a do-over. We can try as many times as we want until we get it right."

"Less talking, more sleeping." Peridot pushed a star-shaped pillow into Steven's chest and forced him onto his mattress before pulling his eyelids down.

--

Every time Steven went to sleep, he was back to canoeing with Rodrigo to rescue Jasmine. And every time, Rodrigo was replaced in his canoes by some very unexpected characters.

The first time this happened, Rodrigo was suddenly replaced by Dogcopter, of all things. As Dogcopter flew off using the propeller on his back, Stefan reached out to the flying canine before Steven awakened with bags under his eyes.

The second time, Rodrigo's place was taken by Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. The three Gems then flew away from Stefan just like Dogcopter did, and Stefan cried out for them before Steven woke up yet again, and the bags were starting to get darker.

The third time, Rodrigo didn't disappear. Instead, he started getting more unnerved as Spinel's massive Injector was present in the background, and Stefan was suddenly replaced with Steven as a baby.

Suddenly, a young woman with a teardrop tattoo on her face, just like what Peridot had described, snatched the baby Steven from the canoe with a maniacal laugh before Pierre, who now looked like he had green-lensed glasses and triangular hair, boldly stepped in and stood up to the woman.

Steven once again woke up, his baggy eyes now at their darkest, while Peridot just sighed in defeat.

--

The next morning, Steven sat down to some cereal and milk in the kitchen when Peridot suddenly appeared with a big stack of papers in front of her. "Uh, what's all this?"

"I've concluded that a script just wasn't working!" Peridot proudly announced. "So I've decided to take a more visual approach and made a whole series of storyboards for us to use! Besides, I've seen tons of cartoons use more storyboards than scripts, for better or for worse."

"You made all of these in one night?' Steven gasped in amazement at the triangular Gem's feat while looking through the storyboards.

"Duh, I'm good at everything!" Peridot bragged. "Now please study these in preparation for tonight."

"Hey, I got a question." Steven said while putting out one of the storyboards that featured the same tattooed woman from his dream. "Who's this girl, and why does Pierre look so much like you now?"

"Uh, that's Marine, Pierre's new arch-foe!" Peridot answered, awkwardly twiddling her fingers and looking in every conceivable direction. "She is totally not based on anyone we've met before."

"Are you sure?" Steven asked suspiciously while flicking through more storyboards featuring Marine. "Cause her haircut and location of her tattoo kinda reminds me of Aq-" Suddenly, he stopped to discover a new storyboard of Stefan having a romantic moment with Jasmine. "Wait, why is Stefan kissing Jasmine?"

"It's perfect!" Peridot yelled eagerly. "Right as Rodrigo is about to save Stefan from this reverse damsel in distress situation, he discovers that Jasmine got to him first, and they're already kissing too! Imagine, Jasmine defying gender clichés to save Stefan, unaware that they're stroking the fires of Rodrigo's jealousy!"

"I can't do Rodrigo this dirty!" Steven objected to the idea. "It's not only a betrayal of the friendship we gave him and Stefan, but it's also poor romantic drama too!"

"Whoa, take it easy Steven, they're just characters. No need to become so addicted to their love lives!" Peridot tried to excuse herself. "This is a story, and a good story needs conflict!"

"No, I still don't want to do this!" Steven declared angrily, startling Peridot before she came to an understanding.

"Look Steven, I can see you're pretty worn out from last night." Peridot said sadly as she began to get up and walk away. "Let's just scrap the whole project."

"What?" Steven replied in shock.

"There's really no point in continuing if it stresses you out that much." Peridot sighed as she grabbed the door handle. "Besides, I got classes to teach at Little Homeworld anyway."

But when Peridot was close to opening the front door and leaving the house, a flash of pink convinced Steven to change his mind. "No, wait!" he exclaimed, stopping the little Gem in her tracks. "I'll do the scene."

"Really?!" Peridot turned back with a cute smile and stars in her eyes.

"Anything to make you happy." Steven replied wearily. Though he was happy that Peridot was happy, he let out a heavy sigh as he was forced to put his friends before himself yet again.

--

"Oh no, that dastardly Marine has Stefan captured!" Rodrigo cried as he quickly rowed downstream to save his dear friend. "Jasmine said she's going to help him, but I haven't heard from her since!"

But just as Rodrigo finished his sentence, he finally found Stefan and Jasmine safe from harm, while Marine was left tied up beside them.

"You won't get away with this Stefan!" Marine yelled before she noticed Rodrigo, and had another fiendish idea in the works. "Hey Rodrigo, look! Your best friend's a cheater!"

"What?!" Rodrigo exclaimed, staring straight at Stefan and Jasmine kissing passionately. "Stefan, how could you?!"

"Rodrigo, this isn't what it looks like!" Stefan cried to Rodrigo in Steven's voice, but he wasn't there. And neither were Jasmine and Marine. And right before Stefan was a very angry-looking Connie. "Connie?"

Suddenly, Connie began to grow into the size of a giant and then turned into Obsidian. Stefan meanwhile was turned back into Steven as the Connie-Obsidian hybrid raised a foot and lowered it to crush him.

--

Steven then woke up in his old room wearing his old pajamas. Just like in the real world, Peridot remained by his side watching the television, but she was eerily silent, a far cry from her usual smug and loud yet cheerful nature.

"Peridot, my dreams are going nuts!" Steven informed Peridot while getting out of bed and walking over to her. "First everyone disappeared, then Jasmine turned into Connie, and she tried to squish me which is how I ended up here!" However, Peridot said nothing and continued facing the television. "Peridot?" Steven asked as he grabbed the green Gem's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

When Steven turned Peridot to face him, her visor and gem were now filled with SMPTE color bars and her expression showed no emotion at all. Steven's old bedroom abruptly vanished, and his PJs turned into his normal clothes as he noticed Peridot emotionlessly marching towards the beach house from the dream he woke up from the previous day. "Peridot!"

"Oh, poor little Steven." A familiar bratty voice called to Steven as he chased after Peridot. From the clouds came Aquamarine, still as haughty as ever and now in possession of her wand once more. "Don't you see? It's all her fault that I kidnapped you, that you had to learn all those horrible things about your mother! And yet not once did her blatant betrayal ever come up again."

"You don't know Peridot like I do, you little twerp!" Steven yelled at Aquamarine as he gained on Peridot, who was about to open the front door. "She's changed ever since we first met. She once tried to kill me like every other Gem who's ever antagonized me, but now she's become so sweet and funny!"

"Oh please, just because you like her now doesn't mean you should completely forget about all the ways she's harmed you." Aquamarine taunted before she restrained Steven with a tractor beam, but his iron will allowed him to resist as he tried to stop Peridot.

"Please Peri, don't go in there!" Steven strained from resisting the tractor beam and reached out to Peridot. "I still really want to hang out with you!" Just then, the floor disappeared beneath Steven and Peridot just like in the earlier dream. Peridot seemingly floated in midair while Steven leaped to the edge of the porch and continued reaching out to her, as the front of the house turned into color bars as well. "We always had something to fix together! The Cluster, the Diamonds, Spinel, but I don't know how I can be anyone's friend without something to fix!"

"Why can't you just surrender already?!" Aquamarine yelled as she tried to reel Steven in like a fish. "Your suffering is all because of her, and she's felt so worthless because of you!" Unfortunately for her, the tractor beam broke and the small, flying Gem was catapulted away from the pair. "We'll meet again brat!"

"I-I just can't do it anymore!" Steven cried to Peridot, unaware of the dream version of Aquamarine's failure to catch him. "I'm just so tired, and now I'm even trying to fix something in my dreams!" He soon started to cry as he got closer to Peridot. "I'm sorry I can't do this for you! Just please don't leave me!"

Peridot remained stoic as Steven kept on grasping for her. "Don't…leave."

The dream ended just like a VHS tape being removed from a VCR before a muffled voice began calling for Steven.

--

"Steven? Steven!"

Steven was suddenly shook awake with tears in his eyes, and he discovered Peridot leaning over him crying just as much.

"I saw everything Steven, and yes, it is true!" Peridot admitted sorrowfully. "A good reason why I was using your dreams is because I never got over how you were kidnapped because of me! I was so worried the other Gems would declare me a traitor, but they never bothered to bring it up. You know what, we don't have to do this anymore!" Steven then gave her a tight hug. "I don't care about the show anymore, or Rodrigo especially! I just want what's best for you! I'm such a clod!"

"It's okay Dottie, it's okay." Steven comforted his green pal. "I kind of knew something was up when you first mentioned Marine and Pierre, but I didn't know you've bottling this up for so long."

"I know, it's so unhealthy of me." Peridot wept. "I just needed something to vent with, so that's why I wanted to spend time with you. It's okay if you don't want an excuse to hang out anymore."

"But I do want to keep hanging out." Steven assured Peridot. "With or without all this trauma. We're friends, right?"

"I guess you're right." Peridot smiled sadly.

"You still want to watch CPH together," Steven offered. "even if it's terrible?"

In response, Peridot took off her visor and began wiping some tears, shedding the mask she had kept up for her entire stay. "Of course."

--

"How could you lie to me like this Rodrigo?!" Jasmine yelled crossly at her love interest while Steven and Peridot laughed as it all went down. "I bet you just can't help being an awful person!"

"You just buried a dead body Jasmine, and you're getting mad at Rodrigo for cheating at cards?!" Peridot cackled, pounding her fist on the floor. "Some protagonist you turned out to be! Oh my stars, this show is the worst!"

"This show is the best." Steven smiled contently before the pair leaned up against each other with smiles on their faces.

--

Like I said, wasted opportunity for more Peridot development. And yes my friends, that United Defenders of the World show was a total middle finger to dark & edgy teen drama reboots of family-friendly properties with fans of all ages. It happened to Archie, it happened to Winx Club and it's even gonna happen to the Powerpuff Girls soon. But I'm getting off topic, this was a pretty fun chapter to write since I love Peridot so much and she has an incredible dynamic with Steven. Speaking of green Gems, next chapter goes into original territory once again as we finally shine a light on a corrupted Gem that's seemingly been erased from existence come Future. That's right Nephrite, come on down!