#Anyway so he loses any ounce of planning what he was going to say and simply goes 'Hello'

[warty-hog-legacy]

SKETCHES 

of Clara’s clothing. Will do school uniforms eventually

headcanon under the cut

Also, after the whole fighting-Ranrok thing (gotta happen in March, right? still snowy out), Clara is wounded via knife slash to her ankle, also twisted same ankle, got walloped by a troll, scratched up her legs something awful sliding on rocks, and then watched her favorite professor die. She’s in hysterics when Sharp and Prof. Onai are trying to corral her up to the hospital wing. She keeps trying to escape and go find the entrance to the mined tunnel.

Pls keep in mind, she’s 15, been awake for like 36 hours straight, and just lost someone important to her (again, so like, old memories of her sister dying are resurfacing). Obviously, she is a pillar of calm and collected sanity.

Additional Information: When the tremors with the Ancient Magic started, the Profs who did not go to help fight were herding students into the Great Hall, like when Sirius scratched up the Pink Lady’s portrait. So a not insignificant number the student body heard Clara’s screeches, snuck to the door and saw the floating cot with a body under a sheet, the haunted looks on the professors as they return.

Rumors circulate. As they do.

So two mornings later, when Sebastian has worked up the nerve to actually talk to Clara (he heard her parents were summoned in the middle of the night, also heard she lost her mind, that a dragon lived under the castle, castle was almost blown up, etc... who knows what’s true). So. He’s going to talk to her. Which he’s talked to loads of girls, and talked to Clara loads of times. Except that she’s refused to talk to him since the Uncle Solomon incident, and that’s why he’s nervous and trying to talk himself into seeing her.

Instead he Lurks (defintely lurking) outside the hospital wing, unsure if he wants to talk to her or not. He sticks his head into the door, half hoping she’s still sleeping and half-hoping she’ll see him and all that awkward guilt will vanish.

Sebastian is treated to a view of privacy curtains halfway down the wing. And through a little gap, he gets a glimpse of her lacing up her corset. Just for like, 1 total second.

5 minutes later, a bunch of second-years watch him sprint out of the castle and dive headfirst into the lake.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can you please do a part two of the Sebastian fluff where he lets his thoughts get the best of him and gets anxious that reader now sees him as a monster because of what they read on his document so he prepares extra good items and plans to give them heavy discounts and even some free but reader barges in like

"MANTIS SHRIMP??? PUNCH SOMETHING RIGHT NOW"

And after a bit of reassuring(possibly some punching too bc reader is too starry-eyed for him to say no to em) Seb realizes he trully never had anything to worry about and just, generally grows fonder of reader?

Ps. Adore your writing, keep up the awesome work!!

"God, why did I let them take it? Stupid, stupid, stupid.."

Sebastian couldn't stop beating himself up, even though he knew he shouldn't care about the opinion of any human sent by Urbanshade--especially one of the "expendable" class.

Yet because it was you, specifically--who was currently in possession of his document--he began to wonder what you'd think of him once you found out the truth:

That he was nothing but a horrible monster. Plain and simple.

If not the knowledge that he was a hideous chimera of several sea creatures' DNA...then surely the revelation that he caused the lockdown of the Blacksite would ultimately make you resent him.

He released all those creatures, who stopped at nothing to prevent you from reaching the crystal and had you running, fighting, or hiding for your life.

He was responsible for all the injuries you've sustained while crawling into his shop, desperately needing a medkit and a place to rest.

He would understand if you'd never want to visit him again after what they documented about him..but the image of your furious expression and overthinking the words you'd possibly say to him left him feeling incredibly anxious.

Suddenly, Sebastian found himself gathering more supplies. Medkits, code breakers, and every light source he had currently in the shop, trying to market down whatever he could. He was even willing to let you take batteries for free...which was something he'd never normally do.

Would it be enough to make up for everything horrific you discovered about him and the terrors he indirectly put you through? Absolutely not.

Was he willing to try it anyways just for the small chance that you'd keep visiting him? Maybe.

No other human has shown him a single ounce of kindness or gratitude for his services. Nobody except you, of course, and he refused to lose that.

-thump, thump-

"Shit.." He froze, hearing movement in the vent duct, hands trembling for his light to shine brighter. Part of him wishes he could stay in the dark, as he didn't wanna see your face and whatever hurt expression it could possibly hold.

But he knew it'd be rude if you actually needed to buy something, so he forced himself to look as your familiar figure crawled out of the small opening. You seemed out of breath, like you were just running from something, and stood up to dust the dirt off your pants.

"Sebastian..I need to know something, and you need to be 100% honest with me."

The moment you pulled out his document, the shopkeeper could feel his heart sink.

"Wh..What did you want to know?" He asked, already bracing himself for the worst.

You sounded dead serious, and he was convinced you were finally going to let him have it.

You were going to force him to explain himself and his actions, and tell him what a monster he truly was. Literally and metaphoric-

"Its it true that you have mantis shrimp DNA????"

Silence.

Of all the possible outbursts he expected from you, that certainly didn't cross his mind.

Sebastian just stared down at you, utterly dumbfounded. He blinked several times, unsure if he was truly seeing the wide smile and starry-eyed look on your face.

He had been waiting for a deep scowl, eyes full of anger and betrayal and sadness that he wasn't the "friend" he claimed himself to be when you first visited his shop.

Yet now? He saw nothing but pure delight in your expression.

"Um..yes. But of alllll the things you read about me, that shocked you the most?" He was still treading carefully.

"Well, it sucks that you were an innocent guy who got thrown into a shitty situation." You gestured to him, frowning a little. "And I'm sorry you never saw justice, but...it's just SO cool that you're part mantis shrimp!" A grin returned to your face. "They've fascinated me for years! I used to watch videos of them all the time. Did you know the velocity of just one of their punches is equal to a .22 caliber bullet-?"

"Stop." He put a hand up, huffing. "At least some part of you must resent me. I mean...helloooooo, did you skip over the bit where I'M the reason those monsters are after you?! There's no way you could've ignored that..unless your brain turned off the moment you read "mantis shrimp"."

"I read everything, Sebastian." You huffed back. "Look, if I ever had to go through what you did..I think I'd wanna rebel, too. And as much as those monsters scare me, they've probably endured the same experiments as you. They probably felt just as trapped and afraid. You must see at least a few of them as your friends, right?"

"Eyefestation and the PAInter are the only ones I consider "acquaintances"." He answered after a long pause, shoulders slumped. "The anglers are primitive, but they recognize me as the one who freed them, so they don't bother me or my shop. The only creature that tends to be an issue is-"

-thump-

-thump-

Tensing, you looked over your shoulder to see a Wall Dweller emerge from the vent behind you, its mouth split open and drooling with hunger, standing on two legs.

"-that." Sebastian glared at the creature; and before it could run away, he blocked the entrance with his tail fin. "Oh no you don't." He swooped over to grab ahold of its head with his third hand, causing it to shriek and kick its legs as he held it up high. "You seriously need to stop eating my customers when they're trying to BUY SOMETHING!!"

The Dweller just growled at him, to which he ignored it and glanced down at you. "What should I do with this thing?"

"Punch it!" You grinned, your fists balled up in front of you as you hopped up and down. "I wanna see how fast you could throw one!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Pleeeeaaase?"

"..ugh, if it gets that stupid puppy-eyed look off your face, fine." He looked back at the Dweller, grinning widely as he cracked his knuckles. "You wanna eat something so bad? Try this."

"....grahh-?"

In a blinding flash, his fist went through the creature's skull, effectively turning its head into dust. Then he dropped the whole body onto the ground with a grimance. "Eugh..never done that before.."

Then he looked down at you again, seeing your smile brighten. "Hope that made you happy."

"It did, that was amazing!" You laughed, kneeling down to rip off a chunk of the Dweller's flesh. He eyed you strangely, his expression changing to a look of horror as you shoved a piece in your mouth.

"What the f...why would you eat that?!"

"It's okay! I've had this stuff before." You swallowed, feeling rejuvenated already.

"B....Before?! What you're eating is clay and acid-"

"Actually, it's fresh meat. Reminds me of poultry, almost. I found a document somewhere saying that it has regenerative properties." You explained to Sebastian, whose eyes only widened the more you talked. "I didn't believe it at first until I saw the Angler kill one. I was hungry and...eating it healed my electrical burn somehow."

".......why was that not in its actual document?" He muttered.

You shrugged, ripping out another piece and offering it to him. "Care for a bite?"

"I'll..pass. But thanks." Lowering his body closer to you, he frowned. "Are you absolutely sure that-?"

"I'm sure."

"..you didn't even know what I was going to-"

"You were worried about my reaction to your file. I could tell from the discount signs and how you were scared to even look at me."

"............."

"But I promise it doesn't change anything, okay? We're still friends, Sebastian, and I'll still swing by to do business with you." You reassured him, smiling as you patted the back of his hand, before noticing the bandage on his third arm seemed bloody. "Um..when's the last time you changed that?"

"...oh this? Erm..it's fine." He attempted to hide it behind his back. "Nothing you should be concerned abou-"

"Too late. It's my concern now. Let me repay you for saving my tail."

He had no time to protest, as you were already on your feet and running for the medkit that was on the table. You weren't worried about getting to the next zone right now.

Not that Sebastian planned on kicking you out anytime soon.

No.

Now that he was able to confide in you, he was genuinely beginning to enjoy your company--especially as you asked him to rest his arm across your lap. From there, your gentle hands went to work changing the bandage out for a fresh one, using an alcohol spray to keep the wounds from getting infected.

He hissed and cursed a few times at the stinging pain, but not once did he try to get you to stop.

Suddenly, it all began to hit him in this exact moment.

You were willingly playing nurse to a giant sea monster that has killed a man and was responsible for the terrifying things you had to witness down here.

He couldn't understand..but at the same time he felt relieved that all along he had nothing to worry about.

"Th-That's fine..thank you.."

Hearing a sniffle, you glanced up as Sebastian hastily took his arm away, "standing" back up and turning away from you. You just smiled and patted his tail comfortingly, not saying a word as you waited for him to collect himself.

For once, that snarky and sarcastic fish you've come to know was gone, and he was letting his walls down, finally realizing he could trust you.

Eventually he fell silent, and you wondered what to do now. You bought everything you wanted to earlier, so you didn't wanna overstay your welcome-

"Do you mind staying for a little bit longer?"

The question surprised you, but you smiled and nodded. "Sure. As long as you don't mind, shrimpy."

There was a pause, and he slowly looked back at you, pouting. "Big talk coming from someone as tiny as you, friend." He playfully sneered.

You just laughed and shook your head, glad to see him in better spirits.

Thanks to that scrambler on his back, you didn't have to worry about HQ getting on your ass about continuing the mission or threatening detonation.

You could definitely stay awhile and ramble about more mantis shrimp facts to Sebastian...if he was willing to hear them, of course.

[helluvapoison]

how would the overlords propose?

Say Yes

how the overlords would propose

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

˚✧₊⁎ Carmilla Carmine ⁎⁺˳✧༚

Romance isn’t an afterthought to her, as hard as that is to believe. Carmilla is a very passionate woman… it just comes after logic. Whether you knew it or not, you’ve been put to the test much earlier on. (How you treat her daughters and how they like you is the most important part, if you didn’t pass you wouldn’t have made it this far)

By now she knows you’re worthy and she’ll bring you into her world permanently. Carmilla plans something intimate. She surprises you in her office for a candlelit dinner, courtesy of her private chef! She is a businesswoman first so she gets straight to the point and asks for your hand, literally, slipping the band into your finger.

“Marry me,” Carmilla says, uncharacteristically soft, “With you at my side, I will be complete.”

˚✧₊⁎ Zestial ⁎⁺˳✧༚

Telling himself there’s no rush, that he could wait a thousand more lifetimes to make you completely his, doesn’t cure the urgency to do it anyways. He’s seen any ounce of goodness down here nabbed before anyone else can take it for themselves. Zestial never claimed to be unselfish, only patient. He tests the question to himself first very early on. Then he phrases it differently to you or refers to himself as your husband to others. You mistake it for a slip up and smile anyways. A delightful sign in his eyes.

Zestial is pleased that you don’t suspect it. How could you when he’s merely being his usual, charming self? He takes you strolling down the same path you took when he first began courting you. Ever the gentleman, he pauses before the bridge over the river of magma and actually kneels.

“Would thou spend the rest of this infernal afterlife beside thyself? Say yes and I swear never to stray and never to allow harm to befall thee. Thou shall only know happiness from this moment on.”

˚✧₊⁎ Alastor ⁎⁺˳✧༚

Love at first sight doesn’t exist so do not twist his words when he says he knew you belonged to him the moment you met. Feelings were bothersome and you flooded his entire being with them with a simple gaze. Lingering between the emotions was always pain, which he was familiar with. Unfortunately for him, the cure for his ailment was always you. Marriage was not in the cards for either of you. Alastor thought he had no intention of going through such hassle until he couldn’t stop staring at the vacant spot on your ring finger. Bothersome.

Truly you had no idea what he was plotting. It wasn’t uncommon for him to bring you to his radio tower, going over notes with him or just quietly hanging about while he worked. He told you there would be a guest on his next show and he wanted to rehearse the questions. Simple enough. Before you even read the last one Alastor stopped you with a finger to the lips,

“Pardon my dear, you’ve been a wonderful co host— utterly indispensable these past few years— but that’s my line!” There’s a flicker of hesitation before his smile takes a slightly gentler form, a side of Alastor only you’re privy to, “Will you marry me?”

˚✧₊⁎ Rosie ⁎⁺˳✧༚

Since she was married a few times already, you thought Rosie would be over the whole thing by now. Well you couldn’t be more wrong if you tried! She adores weddings, from organizing them to being in them; the whole shabang is right up her alley! There was a reason her ex husbands didn’t work out but you don’t have to worry about the whys and whatnots. You’re oh so very special to Rosie, she couldn’t bear the thought of losing you!

The fact you think marriage is off the table has her giddy. She loves having the element of surprise! Cannibal’s left and right are in on the plot, making sure you’re exactly where you need to be all day long until you reach the town square at sunset. Crimson rose petals lead you to the gazebo where candles are lit all around your Radiant Rosie. She smiles so fondly at you it makes your knees weak as you climb the steps to reach her. She poured her love into two pages, prepared to make it her best speech ever but the second you were in front of her everything went out the window!

“Oh! I can’t wait another minute! Marry me, won’t you?”

~

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡ the vees might get their own part cause, i feel, they’re particular about marriage

[mythicmanuscripts]

So, what are your thoughts about Aemond and reader’s first time, considering all his past experiences with the brothel and all (I don’t know if that too vague, if it is, I’ll try to be more specific next time haha)

I love this question! Also, I don't think this is too vague but thank you for checking!! For future reference and also for everyone else, if you had just asked for something like "write Aemond and reader sleeping together" or "write Aemond x reader smut" then I'd say there's not enough to go on. Hope that makes sense!!

Anyway, NSFW sub!aemond below the cut :))

This ask is in reference to the brothel scene where Aemond admits that Aegon essentially forced him to sleep with a sex worker when he had just turned 13.

I'm sure I've babbled on about what I'm about to say before but oh well here we go again: I think that a big part of Aemond's discomfort with the sex worker wasnt just because he was being forced to lose his virginity but because of how utterly exposed he felt? We all know how closed off and composed Aemond always tries to be, and we know he has plenty of insecurities both from his missing eye and from being the second son. The concept of sex as a whole had always felt uncomfortable and far too vulnerable. To lay completely naked with another? Aemond couldnt imagine a scenario where that wouldnt feel terrifying.

And then he turns 13 and Aegon shoves him into a brothel and all his worst fears are confirmed. The sex worker's eyes shamelessly travel across his body and he has to fight the urge to wrap a blanket around himself. The lights are too harsh, he can hear other people having sex outside the room. r

When he leaves there he's convinced he'll never lay with another again. He even decides that he'd let his future wife fuck the first blond hair man they can find and call the resulting child his heir because he couldnt bring himself to be the exposed again.

But then Alicent introduces him to you and you throw a rather large wrench in his plans because you don't do any of those things that left him feeling exposed?

Even before the wedding, you're always checking his boundaries and ensuring you abide by them. If he seems uncomfortable you step away and you ask. And beyond that, you form a real, genuine bond with him that he's never had with anyone before never mind with a romantic partner.

The truth is that Aemond just really loves being around you? He doesn't even notice his walls beginning to crumble because he just feels so safe with you. For the first time he's not constantly having to prove himself.

You're shocked by how different he is to how everyone else had warned you he'd be. You don't see an ounce of the danger and dominance so many others had warned you off, hell even his own mother warned you of. But those traits have always been due to a fight for survival, due to him having to come out on top or risk being ridiculed or worse.

So when you come along and you make it so that he doesn't have to fight for love and respect and recognition? Then all that violence and anger slips away because he doesn't need it here.

You start out VERY slow.

Aemond can best be described as almost skittish when it comes to sex and intimacy. He likes it, but the moment something moves just slightly too quickly he's jumping up and going to hide in his own private chambers.

The first time you kiss him after the wedding, he very nearly starts crying because you just kiss him so gently with absolutely no indication of wanting to go any further than that. Aemond realises he could happily spend hours like that, with the two of you laying together and trading soft kisses.

He tells you about the sex worker eventually, maybe Aegon actually makes a comment about it? Like a few weeks into the marriage Aegon decides to tease Aemond and ask him if he still goes back to his first or if he's actually fucking his wife. (Aegon promptly sprints out the room immediately after saying this because the look in your eyes when you turned to look at him was absolutely terrifying)

So he opens up about the sex worker with you, and he full on sobs when you say he deserved better and that he deserved to feel safe, that sex should always feel safe.

From then, you put a lot of time and effort into ensuring that your chambers together becomes that warm, safe place aemond was missing. You only approve 3 servants who are allowed into your chambers with Aemond, and only 2 are allowed in at a time. No servants can come into the chambers unprompted either. If you want the sheets cleaned or the laundry taken to be washed, then you will call one of the 3 approved servants but servants are not allowed to do those things on their own, only when you request it.

Once that's been sorted you start getting the rooms themselves into a better state. You keep candles all over the walls, get the softest blankets and pillows you can. Maybe you also get some of his favourite books to put up? It's a slow, gradual change but Aemond notices every single change and every time his breath it taken away at how perfect you are. He never even had to explain how vulnerable he was the first time, you just knew and you knew how to make him feel comfortable.

The actual sex takes longer of course, and there's plenty of oral and makeup sessions before he's ready for more, but when you do get to the main event he can't believe how good he feels?

The way you praise him and check in on him brings tears to his eyes, and when you gently wrap a blanket around his shoulders while you stroke him he really does cry. Just that simple gesture of putting the blanket over him makes him feel so much less exposed.

Sex is always a calm, quiet affair with Aemond. Make no mistake, you certainly get edge him and overstimulate him and all that fun stuff, but that's never with standard sex. If you're doing those other things then you're either pegging him or using your hands/mouth. The actual act of sex, that is always gentle. It's the gentleness that really breaks him.

(One quick sidenote to end off: cockwarming, how the flying fuck have we never discussed it? I'm now now picturing a scene where it's the first time you go the whole nine yards, but then from the moment Aemond slowly enters you, he just stays still? At first you think he's trying to get used to the feeling but when even more time has passed and he still hasn't moved, you ask him that's going on and that's when he kinda just collapses into your, his cock still inside and mumbles about how nice this feels. So needless to say, actual sex was not achieved that day)

[michaelawinter]

My genuine head canons about Eddie Gluskin that I wrote in my notes app:

I'd like to add a little disclaimer: these head canons involve some heavy topics, so, if you're not comfortable, you aren't obligated to stay.

Also, I do not support any of Eddie's actions..just to make it clear..

ANYWAYS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THIS SO HERE WE GO

Like the idea of him being a tailor (if you don't know what that means it basically means a person whose occupation is making or altering suits, jackets, and dresses typically to fit a particular person.) He's so creative and almost patient enough to work with materials. I also like to think that's something he shares in common with his mother who must've taught him a good few things about creating and measurements..

He'll hum a little tune to himself as he's working, makes him concentrate more..

It's not always, though, sometimes he loses his patience if the sewing machine isn't cooperating like it should be..

Although his whole character is based on "love" and wanting to find a special bride who loves him just as much as he loves his bride, it's sad to say that his needs will never be fulfilled..

What I mean by this is that not only are his delusions serving him zero purpose but not only that, hurting anyone that comes across him cause he's so desperate to be loved. However, these delusions could be a result of a coping mechanism from all the trauma he went through.

It's like trying to break the generational trauma but instead making it far worse than you could imagine..

So, being severely damaged as he already is, he takes it upon himself to somehow create this little world where he has a family of his own, a beautiful wife and children.

I also like to think of him being trapped in his little cell where he has nothing but a bed and his own little imagination.., staring off into either the ceiling or some random thing and just sits there..,maybe even talking to himself or laughing..

- His mother's lack of acknowledgement for what had happened to him when he was small made him develop some sense of protective nature as a fully grown adult especially when he mentions the topic about having his own children..

- "He appears so charming and friendly" is what he wants some to believe, he cares about how he presents himself time to time..

He wants you to believe he can be good, a perfect groom, a perfect father he never had. He will show you this people pleasing, gentle, kind and loving personality before he completely switches up and becomes the opposite..

- So, about the love part. Some describe him as overly obsessive, which don't get me wrong, he is. Though, it might seem like this isn't much of a big deal to him cause he will show you every ounce of love he has and shower you with it, if you plan on giving yourself to him that is. You'd be his number one priority, you'll never feel like a choice, you are his everything.. It's always like living the dream from the very start, it'll feel like a movie in Hollywood but slowly yet surely this doesn't last how it should...

Imagine being taken care of by someone as charming and loving as he is, imagine him calling you loving words in his English accent and no I'm not just talking about "darling" , I'm talking about :

"Are you alright, my love?"

"Your virtues have so strangely taken up my thoughts.."

"I think you're stunning.."

"You look as pretty as always.."

He is old fashioned, so he will eventually take it upon himself to act like a gentleman around you, he will make the first move, gets you flowers, he plans everything since he would love spend time with you.. It's all about getting to know eachother..

You'd never have to do such work, stay at home and he will do all the providing. 50/50 chance he comes back home with some nice flowers or small gifts..,like I said, old fashioned..

His thoughts would only be you. His number one priorit would always be you. But,... it's not you?..

You're you but also you're not?..

His mind creates this character of you, it's what he's expecting from you, how you act, how you talk, how you dress, how you walk..it's what he expects from you rather accepting you for who you are. This results to a lot of guilt tripping..

And I know, it sucks, but should've thought about it that before going for a psychopathic maniac that's in an asylum for a reason..

- It's quite easy to spot this one, but one of his most common triggers is when someone makes him think they're going to abandon him.

"I can't be alone!.."

By the way, his height and his strength is actually so scary that if you do eventually try to abandon him by walking away, he'll break the door down, he'll find you, he'll do unspeakable things to either you or the furniture that's in his way of trying to get close to you

(Speaking of which: I've noticed a lot of people using the term "Yandere" for an individual with mental illness. Please, stop that..)

Outside of the asylum I like to think his sense of fashion is probably top tier old money, just casual and nice..

Probably likes taking night walks with his nice coat on. That'll keep anyone from expecting him to be a psychopath..

Originally, the man ((((COULD)))) be from England, however, his parents decided to move countries from Europe to America cause they probably liked it more that way..

Eddie is definitely those kinds of people who have that one parent that's always been treating them like shit their entire childhood but still hold a special place in their heart for them cause they don't have anyone else.. That's Eddie towards his mother, I mean, he was her son...all he had was her and deep down he believes that, there was a point she wanted to help..(Even though her absence permanently damaged him)..

But somehow..that caring nature, that charming side of him, that right there, that came from her..

[eggybug]

guess what time it is! its end of season 4 thoughts time!!!!

they are going to be a lot more insane and outta order than in the past

1. the entire season they were yelling at us that lilith was the final seal and it pissed me off jfc

2. i forgot what it was like to lowkey hate sam, i hate it.

3. so cas was in love the whole time, right? RIGHT. like i know ive been ranting about it all season but are you KIDDING me

4. ruby is a bitch and i hate her so bad. but she was in it for the long game thats for damn sure

5. im REALLY not looking forward to the whole "sam gets haunted by lucifer" bit

6. i love cas, i really do, but he looked right in deans eyes, knew that he was doing this shit to him, and did it anyway. like he was probably tortured by the legions of heaven, but goddamn it

7. when i start making cain and abel comparisons all next season, i don't wanna hear shit about it. itll be my bout of insanity and i apologize in advance

8. i fuckin LOVE bobby

9. no body liked john winchester, they loved him, but they hated the son of a bitch

10. i never got to the point where chuck became TRULY the worst guy ever, but i know we as a fandom hate him, so i hate him.

11. i think demons eat babies and i don't know how i feel about that

12. i don't know who i hate more, uriel or zachariah. maybe im glad cas killed all the angels

13. like i get it but HOW did it take dean so long to realize heaven wanted the war too. they disappeared for weeks while lilith was breaking seals like a bull in a damn china shop

14. they keep doing that thing where one of the capital A angels does something shameful to dean, or dean questions his faith in the "Plan" and the camera cuts to cas looking like a sad puppy

15. ik ive said it 1000 times but goddamn those stupid lil boys need therapy

16. GABRIEL WAS TRYING TO WARN THEM, HE WAS TRYING AND HE COULDNT. THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU GABEY!

17. hey, in the last episode they killed a bunch of nuns, which like damn

18. back to sam, his dumbass really fell for the devil on his shoulder bit jfc

19. like i understand camera work, but two straight men don't stand that close to have a conversation. they just don't.

20. hey sammy, you throw a lady in a trunk, you stop being the good guy

21. at any point did they just consider... not doing that. maybe perhaps, waiting a week?

22. there was a thing with the mirrors and zachariah in the last ep, wasn't there? like that wasn't unintentional. mirrors are notoriously terrible to work with, that can't be unintentional.

23. i love that biblical fanfiction always somehow ends with an angel, a demon, and a human coming together to stop heaven and hell playing out a war on earth.

24. spn just proved you can't leave a bunch of corporate assholes in charge of a planet.

26. im really not looking forward to sam whining about starting the apocalypse for a whole season.

27. dean fighting tooth and nail for cas to see the truth in humanity. to find faith outside of heaven. cas seeing that and it breaking his morale a little bit more and more every time. cas repeatedly seeing dean, perfect vessel, perfect soldier, dean be willing to lose the promise of heaven, of peace for his little bit of humanity. it broke cas. and dean keeps begging cas to see it too. and they're going to drive. me. INSANE.

28. "we're done" those were the exact words dean said to cas.

29. so cas and dean can talk without saying anything, and i hate to say that means they're in love... but thats exactly what that means.

30. cas did it! he broke his faith, he sacrificed himself for dean. and now they're gonna kiss (ik they don't kiss but a boy can dream)

31. have i mentioned that sam pisses me the FUCK off! like yeah i blame ruby but goddamn.

32. this season was hell in a handbasket, jfc (no ounce intended)

omg! season for is done!! woooo! onto the most annoying and lowkey painful season ever! my takes and thoughts for season 5 are going to be annoying, so be prepared !

[vemaro]

alone again

[PART 1]

This is the next part!

Summary: Tav can’t deny her own eagerness to reunite with everyone. She’s missed them all dearly. It’s been years since so many of them have been in the city concurrently, not since the final fight against the Elder Brain. Lae’zel immediately ran into a battle to save her people from Vlaakith. Wyll and Karlach went to Avernus. Gale stayed behind for a little while, but eventually left for a position at Blackstaff Academy. Astarion is no longer safe from the sun so he went into the Underdark. Shadowheart stayed the longest, but she too ventured out of the city, following Aylin and Isobel.

She considered asking to tag along with someone, but she felt it wasn’t her place to insert herself into their lives. If they wanted her around, surely they would’ve invited her … right?

Pairing: Astarion x Tav (female Tav)

Word Count: ~1000

Notes: This is set in the same universe as my last fic. I’m planning on about three parts. Enjoy:D

…

The door to her bedroom opens, and without a proceeding knock. There’s only one person who forgoes such a courtesy. “Yes, Terrick?” He doesn’t fully enter the room, but she can feel his gaze on her back. One, two, three minutes of silence pass before Tav closes her wardrobe and turns around. He’s still just standing there with this scrutinizing expression on his face. If nothing else, Tav is a patient woman, so she continues getting ready.

Naturally, that is when he speaks up. “That’s not the dress I picked out for you.”

She pauses right in front of the bed. It takes every ounce of her willpower not to sigh. “I know.”

But he presses on. “Are you going to change?”

Breathe. Just breathe. But don’t sigh. Don’t give him the satisfaction. “No, Terrick. This is what I’m wearing.”

He finally walks in only to stand in front of her vanity. “At least put on a dress,” he says, adjusting his cravat.

Tav plops herself on top of her bed and crosses one leg over the other. “I will if you will.”

He doesn’t look away from his reflection. The man keeps working on that damn cravat. “For the gods’ sake, can you please not make this harder than need be?”

She rolls her eyes. “Can you allow me some comfort while in public? Most of the dresses I have are too tight.”

Terrick scoffs. “Then lose some weight.”

Tav wouldn’t describe herself as overly confident in her appearance. However, she is content. Growing up on the streets as a child, looks didn’t matter all that much. And then after joining the enclave, she was taught inner beauty was of more import than physical beauty. As an adventurer, as long as she was alive and well, that’s good enough for her. Yet holy hells, did that scathing remark almost make her convert into a Bhaal worshiper.

The druid doesn’t miss a beat with a quip of her own. “Awe. Concerned you don’t take up enough space in pictures?” She speaks in a cooing voice that drips with condescension. “Don’t worry, husband dear, I will happily step aside so you can have all of the spotlight.” The last thing she wants is to be in the Mouth anyway.

He whips around to leer at her. “I’ll have you know—”

She’s not through. “Oh, but you’re not the reason the journalists come to these events. I am. The people want to see the Hero of Faerûn on the front page, not some glorified Baldurian socialite.”

“A socialite?” Terrick goes so red in the face, he puts Karlach to shame.

She rises to her feet, refusing to let him stand over her. “What else do you call a man who lives off his family’s fortune while floating from party to party?”

Any more pressure in his head, and the man’s eyeballs would pop clear out. “How dare you?” he snaps, b-lining towards her. “I’m the only reason you’re able to start your little projects. Your schools, your food banks, your clinics; they’re all possible through my family’s name and wealth. Without me, you’d be nothing.”

Actually, she’d still be the Hero of Faerûn, but Tav bites her tongue. By now, she was far too used to him lording his status over her head. They’ve had this argument numerous times and she’s so tired. If she said that thought out loud, it would eventually end with her pompous husband threatening to end their arrangement. Tav would be out on the streets, which isn’t too much of a concern. She’s no longer a small defenseless child with no way of earning money. She’s wholly capable of enduring hardship, homelessness included.

But it wasn’t just about her anymore.

She has a son; Callum, who is a small defenseless child. Terrick may or may not keep Callum. He doesn’t care for him like she does, but she wouldn’t put it past the bastard to use him as a bargaining chip. But if they both ended up on the streets, there’s no guarantee gold would come her way, even with the title of Hero. And she couldn’t burden her friends with her problems.

So Tav stays.

And Tav bites her tongue again and again.

And Tav prays for the days when Terrick is out of the house.

Breathe, don’t sigh. “I’m sorry, Terrick.” She bows her head slightly. “You’re right. My comment was … out of line. Please forgive me.”

“I suppose.” He squares his shoulders and clears his throat. “See to it that it doesn’t happen again.”

It most certainly will happen again. “Of course.”

“Now put on the damn dress I picked out, wife.” When Terrick invokes that title, it’s like a curse, something akin to a Dominate spell. It makes her skin crawl.

“Yes, husband,” she responds.

Placated for now, he nods once more then rushes for the door. Just before exiting the room, he throws out one last command over his shoulder. “And do check on the boy. Last outing, he was rather irritable.”

Tav grits her teeth. Callum was sick during their last outing, just coming down from the flu. She offered to stay home with him, but Terrick demanded otherwise. The poor thing was miserable the whole afternoon, constantly coughing, sneezing, and sniffling. Breathe. In and out. Or else Bhaal may have a new follower by nightfall. She forces a smile onto her face. “Yes, Terrick. In a moment then.”

“Thank you.” And he slams the door shut.

Now that she’s alone at last, she finally lets out the heavy sigh she’s been holding in.

By some miracle of the gods, the grand opening of the new food bank goes off without a hitch. Speeches are made, the people seem receptive, and Tav doesn’t pass out due to her constricting clothes. All in all, today can be chalked up as a success. What brings her true happiness though, isn’t the praise from the crowd or the pride of a job well done. No, it’s the sight of some familiar faces scattered amongst the crowd.

Wyll. Gale. Karlach. Lae’zel. Shadowheart. Astarion.

She’s so very happy they’re all here for her.

But also incredibly sad because they may be here now, but they’ll all inevitably leave again.

…

Thanks for reading!

[ultfreakme]

What do you think are Akashi and Furihata’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

P.s

If you want to answer the questions above with Zuko and Sokka's dynamics, I don't mind....

OOh i haven't answered this before (I'm like, 60% sure, but i feel like I did, either ways I'm answering).

Akashi Strengths: He's committed, unrelenting in pursuit of his goals, never gives up, ruthless and dedicated. I like his ambition and wish I had even an ounce of that. He's also very confident and assertive.

Weaknesses: Doesn't know how to cope when his plans do fail, he crumbles like a cookie. He's so controlling and I think he has this set, specific plan, and if it doesn't go the way he expects he just collapses with no way to get back up.

Furihata

Strengths: Determination, resilience, commitment, dedication. I think he's also the type to like, go all in if he's doing something. He joined the basketball club to impress a girl but he eventually gets more invested in b-ball to the point he just never mentions the girl again and keeps training despite knowing he'll never match up to GoM.

Weaknesses: Quick to get scared, low confidence. I honestly can't think of any prominent or truly debilitating weaknesses for Furihata. Like I always say his most memorable scenes are of him freaking out but who wouldn't in the situations he was put in? And even then, he recovered and kept going. He's got a lot of small shortcomings like any regular human but he recovers from it pretty quick.

I love the AkaFuri dynamic because of the way their strengths and weaknesses compliment each other. While Akashi on the outside looks very strong, immovable even, we see how quickly he kinda collapses when he's faced with even the prospect of failure. Furihata on the other hand is very familiar with falling short, he knows full well that he doesn't know everything or has the ability to overcome people better than him, but he tries anyways. Akashi on the other hand, would freeze if he doesn't have a plan. I think Furihata can teach Akashi that it's fine to fail sometimes, that's how you learn. Losing isn't something to fear and even that allows you to have good takeaways.

Akashi knows his own worth and can figure out his caoabilities, and I think that kinda ability to evaluate onself can help Furihata gain confidence in himself.

They seem like they'd get along if they got to properly speak, and I have a hc(which I'm convinced would be canon) that in the tird-year, Furi would be team captain for Seirin and Akashi is obviously for Rakuzan. There's this character bible that says Furihata' the one who gets the first-years of Seirin, including Kagami and Kuroko, to do what they're supposed to. I think the word used for him was something like 'mediator' or 'leader'. So, Captain x Captain!!!! The boy who once cowered and couldn't even stand against Akashi meeting him on equal footing!!!

ONTO ZUKKA!!

Sokka

Strengths: Creativity, resilience, leadership skills, he's very practical, ability to stay calm in difficult circumstances, surprisingly forgiving.

Weaknesses: Doesn't ask anyone for help, bottles up his insecurities and emotions, pessimistic, cynical as hell.

Zuko

Strengths: Strength of character, he's like a cockroach he just keeps coming back he cannot be defeated, inner strength, this ability to just love people, compassionate(yeah, wild).

Weaknesses: He's a one trick pony imo like man has 5 moves, doesn't think anything through, not very good at communication.

I like their dynamic because of the Boling Rock episodes tbh. They make a very good team, it's the compliment of Brain & Brawn. They also have the Akafuri thing, where Sokka needs all his plans to go exactly right or he freaks out, while Zuko is familiar with failing and so he can teach Sokka how to embrace that. They're both such nerdy dorks in their own way, and I think their interactions are hilarious.

thanks for the ask anon!!

[demonslayedher]

This might be a bit of a strange question, but do you think there was enough poison in either one of Shinobu's arms or legs to have helped kill Doma instead of her whole body? I was thinking of writing a fic where she's saved and has to figure out how to live after planning to die for so long, but I have no idea how to go about calculating the amount of poison needed to kill him/would be in her body.

That's usually my go-to idea for trying to make "Shinobu lives but kills Douma anyway" work-arounds! If @reicchel doesn't mind me sharing the idea, there's always the idea that she might had been partially digested but survived with burns in the end.

Ultimately, they are my indulgent work-arounds, though. I usually try to convince myself of their believably more by saying extra help was needed to finally behead Douma or something, but in a very, strict reading of canon, it cheapens Shinobu's death if her actions weren't totally necessary. Even then, the full dose of poison itself wasn't enough to kill Douma, meaning it would had been impossible for Shinobu to ever kill him herself.

This was the case even with begrudging acceptance of Tamayo's help, and had things had gone according to plan with just Kanao being there to finish off avenging Kanae, Shinobu's plan was still only successful with the unforeseen help from Inosuke. Shinobu gave her all to this plan, and the plan by itself still had a high likelihood of not working out.

Which is why it's so much fun to imagine an AU in which Shinobu finds herself still alive, after having made up her mind to give up everything. That's really the core of a good fic! I don't think she'd ever have the satisfaction of knowing how much or how little poison she could had gotten away with, and that might even be one of the things that bothers her. If she had to face Kiyo, Sumi, and Naho once they have the knowledge that she meant not to return, she wouldn't have any way to justify her intentions to them, as clearly, it had been successful without her needing to sacrifice her life. It might even feel like all her efforts had been a waste, if in the end her research and most calculated guesses were all meaningless after unexpected help from two or three Demon Slayers who all had more power in the first place. It might even make her question if losing an arm or a leg had even made a difference in the first place, depending on how low she's feeling.

Which is to say, no, I have no idea what dose actually was enough to overpower Douma. But, given how fast he recovered from everything else she threw at him, she probably died knowing that even using every last ounce of poison in her body was still only going to be a gamble.

[the-firebird69]

This is what her son is trying to do on the 30th he's having a hell of a time he doesn't seem to think he's going to make it to the harbor classic chancy bodybuilder qualifier either and we don't think that you people are nice in any way you're a bunch of assholes do you think all sorts of stupid s*** about people and you're going to pay for it and you're really dumb and Trump's people are down to about 3.9% off Island and most of the people were not in the bunkers because of the numbers they're not huge but they came to try and get people away from them it's going to increase and he is going to lose a lot of people real fast he's losing tons of people fighting the pseudo empire but he hasn't sent huge armies yet like he did at first and he's going to get clovered his fleet there's 30% out of the stone ship 20% are heated

And there are 5% out of those 20 soon they'll all be out and we'll work on the last 30% the device to different way because this is torture and it just will not go anywhere anyways it takes too much energy and time and ships and personnel all around you are saying it this guy wants to die chips. We should just put him down and there's two more fleets before the tower spaceships and it is miscellaneous and then there are retrofitted super fast it's kind of the same group but they're in two different places. And yeah they're idiots we have a lot of stuff going on and we want to finish this guy's fleets off and drag him down below I want to get going on it now they thought he would go down there with nuclear weapons and those nuclear weapons are disabled everyday in vast numbers he tries to make a lot so now we're going to start disabling that system of making them and they'll be permanently out by the way we have a lot to do we have a lot to announce I'm coming up shortly and it's good stuff

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera you want to swing by and try and ruin my husband's day by being a prick or a f** or some sort of evil jackass like you were yesterday and people start hitting you and you must like getting killed and beat up and having broken bones honest to Gd it happens to you every single time you do it

Well I'm sitting here biting my time no I'm laughing my ass off and getting us hit I plan to do it and he said so what you're stupid that's not a plan you're a moron anybody can plan to do that to you you're not supposed to do it to yourself you should head you're getting critically injured you don't have two brains okay. And suddenly see something I wonder if people are doing that since it doesn't transfer you idiot when having friends in the same head it doesn't transfer so that is that question so you think you've been doing that or something he says and I really have to tell you no not really then what the f*** gives here you're about to get everything taken from you cuz you're here being an a****** to me mostly that's what it's about. He says.. I have to tell you I can't really move.

Trump

It's true he's stuck and pinned down here and he can't really figure out who it is I figured out one of them there's a whole bunch of mac proper doing it and their heads of clans and his power and he's sitting here sucking everybody down ruining stuff and max aren't doing well because of but they want to use this guy in effigy and they demanded there's a lot of truth to it but Billy Hicks is evil kid and he doesn't give himself a break because he wants to look like he's evil and dangerous and yesterday he was heinous and he lost his life again for 5 minutes his brain was off rotten I don't think it's worth it but I don't think he can stop or help himself he was a 10 oz weekly in westborough now he's like a 4-ounce weekly and it's going to get worse. Bja is going to beat him to a pulp as is the pseudo empire not to mention Tommy f although he doesn't defend things much they're doing something different now and he's not really up for it or aware and it's not getting his stuff out well he's stuck to me so I'm not sure what the analogy is but I'm like a three year old child's body and I'm only 56 which in your years is very young and you Max expect to get all sorts of pleasure and joy and satisfaction in bothering me when you're bothering some kid who's valuable to your realm as well that's the bottom line here not long ago it's a blink so I know that you're insane too there's a bunch of nuts down there zombies and other pieces of s*** and they're not us and we're not doing it you should correct your behavior before you die too but then again saying that to you triggers all sorts of stupid idiotic things to get rid of you LOL it's f****** true moron

Zues Hera hahaha I have to tell you these people don't listen either and they sound like these retards and it's going to be worse because these people are trying to hold it together and the ones down there don't care that much about topside and these people have a weak hole not the idea of working with them on businesses is good it adds a rudder and some stability people show up to work when they're supposed to and they're not a mess and it gets them healthier we have several businesses we put out there that we want to start if you can't do it and can't get it going too much competition let us know and we stick it together in a room and we organize it so you don't fight and it's a good time people have a lot of fun doing this the beer companies are going to be outstandingly fun he has all sorts of ideas your guy's stuff is okay and he wants to make cosplay like a company it's okay and stuff but really it's easy to make it's cheap and doesn't have to cost as much as it does to make an iron Man suit you have to make the whole thing we can make it a plastic and can actually be durable and you can use it for Stuff that doesn't have to be a million dollars that the ones they sell are like $1,200 and the plastic is brittle and we just make it out of that plastic you made garbage cans out of in the in the past not the new ones it doesn't break ever you can dent in dents back out and it's a real good idea he says cuz the other one is terrible and even the machine the machine comes by and breaks them all the time so it's a good idea and it's valid and we can pump out a suit for like $200 and really there's not much to it it's not like a real suit but it looks like it on the outside and it doesn't have any obvious breaks in it and we have made it already we had it for sale out there there's other stuff like it too the bane costume is really cool and you guys have one that's really cool we have a muscle suit and it's not really hot and it works I mean it looks like muscle it's really cool it's not made out of rubber material

It's made out of some sort of synthetic and it's not that hot it's still hot though unzip it it's in the back but boy there's a lot of stuff that we do that works and the muscle suits are real famous people love them you wear those skin tight superhero costumes over it and you look awesome in it so we want to do that with someone too and the gear company goober Meister and it would be spelled a little different but really it is an awesome idea and on and on with motorcycles and all sorts of things RTA motorcycles RTA cars and he likes that small truck from China and we can make it about a foot wider and a foot longer and better quality still make the frame out of metal and it would pass the OT and RTA so it'd be panels and the frame and you can have this box you go pick up at IKEA and you can put in the pickup truck and only way I think it says like 1200 lb so you need a forklift to put it in there but you can take it out piece by piece and we'd sell just incredible number so let's get going on the stuff what's the start with the four wheeler that's RTA with the cage and if we can't go to IKEA we'll go next door and they'll get business and they might encourage it but we would have the liability this is not real brain work but it is stuff you need to know.

Hera

Wow I went in and on the RTA quad and four wheeler yeah we need a quad but I'm sure you're saying you both the frame together and you can do a stitch bolt and it really will work or a weld bolt and it really doesn't take much effort and we bolt it all up and it works I mean this is incredible and I see what you're saying you can fit it in the small box and ship them all over the damn place I want to get involved and I want to make that truck I see what he's saying you can make this little truck like the orange one he showed then it's a RTA with panels and the box would be a lot smaller than the box that that white truck comes in and that's pretty damn small but the truck would be a little bigger it's outstanding his ideas that is it's great and you can use a Briggs & Stratton car motor and they're inexpensive so he says I'll start working on it and try and get some other people involved and they will come just like Dave Thomas used to LOL now I get what you're saying they're going to help out

Neil adamiak

I want to pick an idea but I know we need stuff I know what we need so I'm going to do that

Preston

I need a lot of things to work and I don't have any I need a lot of money I don't have any money and it'll start doing this ideas to take technical expertise and designing these toys trucks cars that are real like the international harvester is necessary you can't do it yourself you take forever the idea is simplicity and you always get bogged down with fighting each other over what makes you annoyed more than someone else is usually the same but I think his idea is great to have an inner shell and outer shell and you just fuse it drop it on in a weld it up and it's done and have an RTA vehicle is outstanding that is an awesome idea and practically from China but no it comes assembled and it's nothing you can't drive it anywhere but his you'll be able to with the brings and Stratton car motor is awesome the thing has torque and we need it I'm going to go ahead and put in to do a few of these things

Bill

Usually doesn't with us but we're not really doing it it's not true we have a lot of these ideas we want to do we might sit down with a meeting and talk to him and he says I should have organized a meeting about questions about the stuff cuz that's what I usually have should we do this is it feasible what will happen houses the design and we're going to go ahead like and then the Johnny peg and there's a great bike and I'd like to have one 300 or 350 and he had a side by side I mean that's intense and there's no reason to make it massively heavy then we got to talk about that things that are more pressing these cars are awesome kit cars the one about the GT40 was intense I saw some drawings over they use my computer they put the pieces over in an overlay and it sent it to me and it was this morning and he got the overlay idea these guys did from a friend here and they said it's almost a fit and you modify a couple things they showed it lowered and the roof lines just a little above and the hood but it doesn't matter cuz it has the same lines that's what's important you can use the frame well the subframe now I'm going to go ahead and try and do this it's an awesome idea

Mac daddy

His cars you can do the Corvette with and they're pretty fast Chevy made them and they were in the 90s and 2000s and they still make them and it's a two-door and I'm going to go ahead and try that and what we're saying is we're not really building the other one so much and we need these and it's kind of a trick

Ben

Actually we're going to go ahead and do it and we don't do it either others will

Trump

I'd welcome a competition but I know you're just going to sit there

Bja

Olympus

I still say we build them out there and have the people out there do it and we have partners out there and some people here want to do it for money and stuff and these guys will start trying to do it and they'll end up trying to buy the company or control it and they'll fight over it and we'll be able to continue

Zues Hera

That actually happens lots of times so we're going to go ahead and do it

Nuada Arrianna

[djnusagi]

Hi, you don't have to believe me but you absolutely are a girl. I don't know how anyone could look at you and think otherwise. You're very pretty and have beautiful eyes. I understand feeling like everyone who ever has something nice to say to you is lying, and there's nothing I can say to convince you I'm telling the truth. All I can do is promise you I'm not a liar, and I don't take the time to type out messages to people I plan to lie to. I'm also not stupid, or unperceptive, or deluding myself, and it would be quite mean to imply that I am.

look every day i go and clock into work. my job application made me put in "pronouns" and im too weak willed to just fucking commit to "he/him" so i put "any". my coworkers know me as that if anything. i go by my birth name and use the men's room and just generally pretend to be a normal cis boy.

if i looked like a girl that wouldn't matter. I'd get read as a girl anyway, especially be strangers who have no frame of reference for a name or preferred pronouns (i.e. customers). but despite all that, despite my coworkers being given "any/all" to choose from and the customers getting no info outside of my voice and outward appearance, it's always "he" and "him" and "sir" every single time. that tells me something. for me, the hurt from "misgendering" comes not from the act itself, but from what it represents. because if somebody called me "she" that would signify they perceive me as a girl. but they don't. they all call me "he" every single time. which signifies they perceive me as a boy. so just telling everyone "call me vanessa and she/her" wouldn't actually change a single fucking thing or make an ounce of difference. it would direct people to behave differently, but it wouldn't change their perception. and on top of that I'd be losing a vital barometer for how I actually am perceived. and don't tell me to dress different or wear makeup or whatever. every single day cis women walk around dressed just like me and they have no fucking problem getting gendered correctly. hell, there's a shitload of trans women who walk around dressed like me day to day who get gendered correctly no problem. the problem is very clearly my body. HRT was my hail mary to change that body and get to truly, meaningfully live as a girl. and it didn't work. and now there is nothing left for me in life.

[lunanheartache]

look. this is porn. non canonical porn, this does not happen. its also not finished bc i lost the thread (read: dont want to show my whole hog). judge me

expect: d/s dynamics, mentions of longterm orgasm denial / cock cages, nippleplay, lactation, silly med kink that's mostly just crossroads being annoying

it's fallow who suggests it.

as with all things, he is upfront and plain and direct. it's more of a question than a suggestion. no expectation behind it. crossroads could say no and it would be that simple: fallow would accept the boundary gracefully without pressuring him or threatening his job or their relationship.

he doesn't think it would even touch fallow's feelings.

the idea is a little far-fetched anyway. fallow didn't sound like he expected it to work. he had a vague sort of plan to try it, but not much in way of confidence. for a few weeks, crossroads could try the draught they commonly provide new mothers who struggle to produce and see what happens. it would probably do nothing. crossroads is not capable of pregnancy, nor does he have the sort of breasts required for milk. his chest is flat, albeit with a fresh softness to it since cahors, since regular, consistent food, but he hardly has tits. tits in pathetic name alone.

so he tried it.

without saying anything to fallow beyond needing a moment to think on it. fallow, as predicted, let it lie without a word: he hasn't mentioned it again, several weeks in.

when fallow brought it up, he rambled off concerns and thoughts and whatever else his steel trap of a mind spat out. he was not convinced it would work. young mothers try the draught at three times daily, though he would lean towards once daily just to see the effects. best case scenario, perhaps his nipple sensitivity would increase. he didn't think it would cause breast development of any significance. if it did work, it would likely be reversible within a few days of no stimulation, as with mothers who wean their young. any production would be minimal if it occurred, given a general lower end of milk ducts in males. he wouldn't have the same worries about leaking or timing then as nursing mothers. it would be simple to hide, and reversible, and it's just something fallow was thinking about admittedly for a short while that he may have gotten off to, but it is a lot to ask of crossroads and he holds no expectation that crossroads is willing or interested in that, and.

poor fallow was so flustered. crossroads grins at the memory.

the doctor means every ounce of his word, though. it's a strange feeling to trust him so deeply, but fallow proves himself repeatedly and without prompting. when crossroads asked for the key to the cage on his cock last month, fallow pressed it into his hand immediately. no complaint, no needling pressure to convince him out of it. the most he asked was if everything was alright, if something hurt or pinched, if they needed a different size. he accepted the key back just as graciously when crossroads gifted it afterwards, no backhanded, snide comments.

because that's.

it's still disorienting. fallow doesn't demand or expect his submission. crossroads is wholly within his power to upend the dynamic should he be so inclined, withdraw his submission entirely, and it would be nothing more than a discussion as to how he would be interested in play going forward.

fallow's control is- sweet. earnestly, honestly comforting, that stupidly heady feeling of /good/ that he chased for so long and kept getting wrong. by submitting, crossroads does not make himself /less/; he is still fallow's equal, as strange as it feels, and his voice carries just as much weight as fallow's. he will not lose his job if he declines. he will not lose his home, his standing, his safety, access to food, whatever good graces cahors has provided him if he says no. when fallow asks if he would be interested in attempting to induce lactation, he means it genuinely and accepts whatever answer crossroads gives.

it's still hard to believe. but crossroads knows it more than he believes, and that's good enough. surprising fallow with this will be fun. gifting him a new act of submission is exciting. he is looking forward to being fucked into oblivion if all goes well.

when he joins fallow in his office after clinic, it's like always. fallow offers a brief acknowledgement but remains focused on his notes. crossroads sits in the chair at the front of his desk patiently, examining his nails. with winter still lingering at the edges of the day, his fur hasn't made the full shift yet. he's shedding more and more, embarrassingly so, but perhaps more annoying is the dry skin revealed underneath.

all those fur oils and his skin is still dry. bastard. this winter was colder than previous. he won't fuck fallow with flaky skin; leaning down to his bag by his feet, he rummages through the miracled interior and chirps happily when his nails clink against familiar glass. he places a few droplets of a shiny gold-tinged in the palm of his hand, abandons the bottle back in the bag, and rubs his hands together. it smells lightly floral like jasmine, specially made. he watches fallow's dark eyes dart to him and linger before they return to work.

cute.

crossroads leans back in the chair, hands folded neatly across his stomach. his loose shirt looks habitual, worn to allow shedding and more air flow given the still-thick coat, but he dragged a vigorous comb through his body fur to get the worst out already. it's been three weeks of sneaking milk draught, and the loose fabric helps immensely; his nipples are swollen and puffy, and every movement of cloth across them chafes or goes right to his head.

neither is good during work.

fallow, somehow, hasn't seemed to notice. he's said nothing so far. there's something sort of hot about that though, crossroads thinks. what is there to notice? of course he's sensitive and needy. he loves his tits played with. he probably just played with them too much and that's why they're so flushed. maybe he was trying to see if he could cum like that again.

god, that's the other thing. he can't cum. he can't normally, chastity cage comfortable and weighty on his cock, but he's not even getting hard in the metal. using his ass feels stupidly good, always does, but he hasn't been able to cum like that in-

two weeks? maybe. he can't quite remember.

all the stimulation in the world and he can't wrench an orgasm from himself. it's different than the cage. the cage is almost more symbolic. he likes presence behind it, the reminder of it. he gets more than enough pleasure from fallow without his cock, whether he gets fucked or fisted or otherwise.

but now it's like he can't get enough. his cock isn't part of the equation, rarely is, and that's good. but fuck, even grinding his ass on his thickest dildo, the wooden one with those glorious fucking bumps massaging his prostate, just brings him vaguely close to an edge and refuses to step him any closer.

it's- hot. desperately hot. god, if the draught makes him this sensitive and dulls - or removes - his ability to cum-

crossroads bites his lip. okay. "doctor, i- hate to interrupt but i.. might need your help," he says.

"can i finish this note?" fallow asks distractedly, pen scratching away. he doesn't acknowledge the teasing title. he might not have noticed.

"i've been taking the draught," says crossroads.

the pen stops immediately. deeply satisfying. fallow doesn't look up from his desk but his ears go dark. "crossroads," he says.

"three weeks, once a day as suggested. i drink it before bed then i massage my tits for an hour until i fall asleep."

fallow closes his eyes, sits back in his chair. he takes a deep breath, keeping his eyes shut. "that's- i thought you looked different."

crossroads grins inwardly. an excited shiver ridges down his spine. fallow's reactions are always fun. breaking his composure can be a challenge, making it all the more thrilling when it works.

crossroads leans forward eagerly, puts on a shy, needy voice, "i might need an exam, doctor. my chest- ah, it's- embarrassing. i don't know what's going on. i'm so sensitive, it's driving me crazy."

"take your shirt off. show me."

with a whine, crossroads obeys. drags the fabric up and over his head, throws it off mindlessly to the side.

he knows what he looks like. fallow opens his eyes and there's an immediate self-conscious want transparent across his face. he's so cute. his gaze sticks to crossroads's chest. helpfully, crossroads cups the faint swell there in his palms, nipples flushed dark against his pale skin. they're puffy, several times more prominent than before and peaked excitedly. they feel more swollen than even the day before. just squeezing his chest is enough to make him squirm. it almost hurts this time, an unfamiliar soreness.

"fuck," fallow breathes.

"please, sir," crossroads says, "can you help? it's tender. what- what can i do?"

"let- let me take a look," he says, winded.

fallow pushes back in his chair and stands, rounds the desk. his arousal is obvious at the front of his doctor's cloth, but he pays it no mind. blindly, he pulls the chair next to crossroads to his front and sits. his fingers tremble slightly when he raises them.

his eyes flick up to crossroads's face. "may i?" he asks.

"please," crossroads whines, lowering his hands. he leans forward, arching his back to push his chest out. "be gentle though. i'm sensitive..."

"fuck. of course. i'll be- tell me if it's too much."

crossroads loses his breath in a shiver when fallow touches him; his hands are cool, fingers calloused and beautifully rough. he starts tentatively. there's a funny sort of curiosity to him; crossroads imagines the cogs whirring in his head, trying to piece together a small dozen bits of biological knowledge into a functioning theory despite the temptation. he nudges crossroads's hands off, flattens his own palms into a c under the curve of his tits. he presses just a little, squeezing. muttering an apology when crossroads winces, fallow shifts his hands up an inch and tries again. he squeezes more gently this time, kneading almost.

crossroads lets his eyes close. as much as he wants to watch, there's something about focusing on the feeling. letting his body narrow down to fallow's hands on his tits and the dull throb in his caged cock. it's an odd relief. arousal warms in his cheeks, but he feels calm, unhurried. a new way to prove his submission, and fallow likes it transparently. he offers needy little noises that feel almost like a show but they aren't, want plain and honest.

fallow's hands massage his chest and it's sore, distinctly, a fuzzy ache that has a furrow settled between his eyebrows, but. it's not exactly bad. like warm pins and needles, an awareness of his body that isn't normally there. crossroads gasps, the breath almost knocked out of him when fallow rolls his nipples, pinches and tugs and teases.

"doctor, please," crossroads whimpers, grabbing fallow's wrists like he means to pull him away, "is- is the exam almost done?"

"not quite. just relax for me. any tenderness when i do this?"

"this feels- hah, inappropriate-"

"you're doing beautifully, don't worry. this is all part of the exam."

biting his lip, crossroads squirms. he can feel his cock drooling against the inside of his thighs. god, if fallow could make him cum just from his tits, edge him stupid by playing with his nipples while his useless little cock dribbles a puddle between his legs. he moans when a warm tongue sweeps over one nipple, a quick thing; yelps when fallow blows on it, cooling the spit on it until it stiffens.

"doctor, i don't-"

"don't worry. i know it's uncomfortable, but i promise it's necessary. have you tried sucking them?"

"um, what does that-"

fallow cuts him off with a rough thumb over his nipples, hands returning to cup and knead the small swell of his chest. "your nipples are just a little swollen and puffier than i'd expect. i don't know how you hid them under your clothes. they're obscene," he says.

crossroads pretends to balk, leaning into fallow's attentions. "doctor-!"

fallow tightens his fingers around his tits again. suddenly, the weight of his hands vanishes with a sharp inhale.

with a whine, crossroads drags his eyes open. he blinks to refocus. "why'd you stop?"

"crossroads," fallow says, winded, "you're, uh. you're leaking."

what.

looking down at his chest, crossroads stares. white slowly beads at his nipples, swelling before it drip down to his lap. after another heartbeat, it starts again, a little droplet forming over several seconds before it's too weighty and spills off.

oh, fuck.

he can't move. his eyes stay fixed. his hands stay at his sides, twitchy with nerves. his ears feel abruptly hot, embarrassment flooding his face until fallow reaches back out and he has to watch as he rolls one of his nipples between his thumb and forefinger, coaxing a small milky dribble down the side of his hand. fallow exhales shakily.

"i didn't- think it would take," he says.

"fallow," crossroads says desperately, unthinking. he can't look away from his chest; fallow teases his nipple as more milk flows, brings his other hand to its twin to pinch it out. "please."

"is this the first time?"

"i... i don't know," crossroads says. "i- before, i. there was something but i thought- it was just sweat. this. oh, oh, fuck. you're- fuck."

"how do you feel?"

fallows asks this like he can answer. like his mouth works while fallow keeps up his attentions, rough fingers trying to be gentle as he rubs milk from him. it isn't much. but it's something. fallow is milking his tits and there's actually thin rivulets of milk down the sides of his palms and his cock is just soft in its cage and lot above, crossroads's tongue sits useless behind his teeth. his face feels too hot. his ears stay flattened against the sides of his head, embarrassment hiding them away. he can't look at fallow. he can hardly find his voice.

dazed, crossroads giggles. his tail curls self-consciously around his legs and the chair's. it takes a moment to bring the words up. "you're- you're milking me. i can't cum and you're- you're actually- can you- fuck."

"can i what?" asks fallow. his fingers still but don't leave.

"don't stop," crossroads says, whining. "can you- fuck, can i have your cock? i'm so empty. i'll just keep it warm while you milk my tits. please?"

[fatefulfaerie]

Rituals

Zelink Week 2022 Day 6/7 @zelinkweekofficial

Word Count: 1,173

Incarnation: Breath of the Wild (pre-calamity)

Trigger Warnings: one bad language word

“This is insane,” Zelda said as she pulled the hooded white fabric over her head, the lacy ends adorning her shoulders. “Where did you even get this stuff?”

“The laundry room, of course,” Impa said.

Zelda scoffed and looked behind her.

“You stole it?” Zelda asked. “What if someone needs it? You know, for their job?”

“Hylia above, Your Highness, I didn’t steal them,” Impa clarified. “I asked for the extras. Now…”

Impa carefully laid the ruby-featuring golden chain atop Zelda’s head, her blonde hair hidden so well it wouldn’t be seen the rest of the day.

“You’re the spitting image of one of your attendants.”

Impa wasn’t wrong. Royalty really was all in the superficial things, the crown, the intricate garb. This was much simpler, a more faded blue, a leather belt made from a farmer’s cow, simple patterns along the hem of the dress, and red chords that had no purpose other than to announce to the world that they had to wear them.

“This isn’t going to work,” Zelda said anyway. “Link won’t approve. He’s too by-the-books.”

“Is he now?” Impa prompted as she made sure all of Zelda’s hair was concealed. “You can come in now, Link. She’s decent.”

Zelda stammered, and continued to do so as Link walked in.

“Impa!” Zelda finally got out. “Now he’s seen me in my disguise! He’s going to report me!”

“I-I’m not,” Link interjected, awfully nervously for someone who was always so sure of his actions, his words. “I’m here to protect you, actually. Impa approached me yesterday about your plan and I had to agree with her. You need a break, even if it’s just for a day.”

He lifted up one of those terrible soldier helmets with the unflattering red tufts of fake hair.

“I even have my own disguise,” Link said. “I left the Master Sword in my room, too. They won’t recognize us. There’s no way.”

“See?” Impa said, prodding Zelda excitedly with her elbow. “Your day of prayer hookie is guaranteed. You have a perfect disguise and lo and behold your knight in shining armor is at your service, equipped with the next best thing to the Master Sword, a standard soldier’s broadsword.”

Zelda couldn’t help but begin to smile. She nodded, letting herself finally be excited for this.

“Let’s do this.”

Today was the royal festival, an annual ritual where the King himself graced the streets of Hyrule Castle Town as if he were just another citizen. He still wore royal attire of course, but he smiled and held babies and pet dogs and asked people questions they could only ever have positive answers to. When he was asked about the Calamity, he got to say with full confidence and not an ounce of worry leaking out from his brain, that his daughter was praying as they spoke.

Not this year.

Zelda refused to be cooped up in the cathedral while vendors from all over Hyrule congregated to sell their wares, steaming heaps of fabulously rare meats and armies of braided string and linked beads crafted into jewelry. She always heard distant music playing from the cathedral where she prayed and she hated every minute of it.

Today would be different.

Link and Zelda held hands so as not to lose each other, and soon they were off, managing crowds and ending up at whatever stand that fate funneled them into.

“A seafood rice ball?” A Lurelin salesman asked. They took two.

“A beautiful necklace for the little miss?”

“Smell this one of a kind bar of soap and instantly be transported to...”

“Can I interest you in this?”

“How about that?”

“Fifteen percent discount.”

“Buy one get one free.”

It was chaos, and Zelda loved it.

She was being absolutely pampered by her knight attendant, but the fun stopped whenever there was a doozy pertaining to the King. Any breath of him approaching and Link and Zelda would purposefully dive out of the way, hiding behind a corner or going to a different street. Their disguises were good, but nothing could hide Zelda’s green eyes if the King got close enough.

“The King! The King!”

Everyone else around them straightened themselves up, brushing their hair with their figures, putting their best wares upfront, straightening the creases on their simple garb.

Link took Zelda’s hand and made his way quickly to an archway that connected to another street, but it seemed that street also heard the King’s approach, a whole stampede forcing Link and Zelda to the forefront of the King’s greetings and well wishes.

“Shit,” Link cursed under his breath, quickly stealing a glance behind him and then back to Zelda. “We’re trapped.”

Zelda’s eyes swam with panic as she looked at her father, making his way with a jolly smile through his citizens. An idea struck her. She returned her gaze to Link, and grabbed him by his collar.

“Kiss me,” she insisted.

Link blinked with a slight twitch of his head, as if he must not have heard her right.

“Excuse me?” He asked.

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable,” Zelda explained. “Kiss me.”

He hesitated, like any by-the-book knight would, and so she scoffed, rolled her eyes, and planted a kiss on his lips for him, one that lasted, and yet remained chaste. Zelda closed her eyes, and yet with her ears followed the footsteps of the King, ones she could track anywhere, amongst any bustle, any clamor of noise.

It was an entire minute until she was sure her father had passed them. Yet, the term ‘minute’ doesn’t do the time justice. In the expanse of a hundred years, a minute is practically nothing, but this minute in particular was sixty whole seconds. Sixty of

These

Kind

Of

Seconds

“I think he’s passed,” Zelda said, rescinding to look behind her. When she returned her gaze to Link, he was beet red. She let go of his collar.

“Oh come on,” Zelda said. “Don’t act like I’m the first girl you’ve ever kissed.”

Link was too frozen to even stammer. Zelda gave him a couple light slaps.

“Hey,” she prompted. “Wake up. You’re no use to me like this. What if the Yiga attack?”

Link had only been breathing, if that, and so without acknowledging what she was saying he breathed a

“Wow,” still reeling and swooning from the kiss.

“Ugh come on,” Zelda said, grabbing his hand and pulling him to where she wanted to go next.

“Your Highness, wait,” Link said, Zelda stopping and turning to him.

“You…” Link started, but  hesitated. “You didn’t feel that?

“Feel what?” Zelda asked, genuinely asking, looking him up and down. Link put a hand over his heart and massaged it lightly when she looked to have no clue. He winced, before admitting untruthfully,

“N-nothing,” he said. “It’s nothing.”

He knitted his brow as she continued on through the square. She prattled on about the history of the fountain while he found himself questioning why he wanted to kiss her again.

[ddarker-dreams]

Contractual Obligations. Yan Childe x Reader

Warnings: Implied stalking. Word count: 1k. →Part II.

A bewitching patch of flowers catches your fancy, standing tall and bright, boasting a rich azure shade. Content with your find, you bend down to pick the blossoms. Your cheerful mood turns sour at the slightest rustling behind a nearby tree. Not troubling yourself to look in the direction of the noise, you run your hands along the root, preparing to pluck the glaze lily. 

“How much longer are you planning on hiding?” 

More rustling. Footsteps approach from behind, a carefree laugh accompanying them. “Ah, you caught me. Could it be that I’m losing my touch?” 

For such a jovial voice, it fills you with oppressive dread, your jaw tightening at the unfortunately familiar timbre. Plagued by this unrelenting shadow, you guess that taking a refreshing walk on your lonesome is too much to ask for anymore. You weigh your options. Ignoring Childe has never done you any favors, likely fanning his flames even more. 

“You say that, but if you really wanted to, you’d go undetected.” 

Childe leans down next to your hunched over form, an irritatingly calm smile on his face. “Oh? What’s this? Are you complimenting me, [First]? If you’re not careful, I might let that go to my head.” 

“I’m sure it already has anyways,” you dismiss with a shake of your head. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume you wanted me to catch you.” 

“You got me there.” Childe shrugs, straightening his posture out. You take in a shaky breath, willing yourself to remain calm, painfully aware that you should be watching your tongue. To no fault of your own, Childe makes it impossible to remain polite as you normally are. Every interaction is based around him pushing your buttons for his personal pleasure. On a surface level, you know you need to be courteous, as your parent’s business relies on Fatui’s money. 

“Can I ask why you’re following me? I’m sure there are other pressing matters for you to attend to.” 

He hums, smoothing out his shirt while you work on the flower’s roots. “Work can be so boring. I just happened to be on a break when I caught you leaving Liyue, and decided to tag along.” 

Tag along. Is that what he’s calling it? It feels like every time you’re off gathering items for your parent’s shop, Childe decides to accompany you, despite your obvious distaste. 

Once you uproot the flower, Childe extends a gloved hand, that you stare at unimpressed. You take it after a moment’s deliberation, for the sake of maintaining appearances. Childe hoists you up with ease, and before you can mutter a halfhearted “thank you”, pulls you flush against his chest. Cobalt blue eyes fixate on your alarmed expression. Childe pays the most attention to your slightly parted lips, the skin beneath his eyes tightening in delight as he snickers. 

“I must confess,” he leans down to the shell of your ear, blowing on it playfully, “You’re starting to hurt my feelings, [First]. What have I done to deserve such cold treatment from you? Hm? Haven’t I been more than accommodating to you?” 

You swallow thickly, your stomach churning at how Childe’s voice dips lower, the dangerous sound ringing alarm bells in your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Oh, you don’t?” he inquires, and you shake your head. “In that case, I’m more than happy to remind you.” 

Childe pulls back so he can return his attention to your endearing facial expressions. At this close proximity, it’s impossible to ignore the height difference, the man easily towering over you. He tilts his head, messy copper hair falling into place soon afterward. Every ounce of your strength is dedicated to maintaining his piercing gaze, to salvage just an ounce of your honor, unwilling to fully relent to the pressure he exerts. He smiles at this, clearly pleased. Childe places his hand underneath your chin, delicately lifting your head to inspect you closer. 

“Do yourself a favor and don’t forget what would happen if I came to collect your shop’s debt now.” 

You want to offer a stinging rebuttal but the words die on your tongue. He’s right. Whatever the reason may be, the notoriously uncompromising Fatui have been lenient with your parent’s debt. You’ve had your suspicions, most of them relating to the person in front of you now, but hearing it aloud from him makes it far worse. 

Eyelids fluttering shut, you push down the bile rising in your throat to hopefully appease him. “You’re… you’re right. I’m sorry. Thank you for all you’ve done.” 

“Ah, how cute is that,” Childe sighs, running his pointer finger along your bottom lip. The cool leather sends shivers down your spine. “That look of frustration is so adorable on you. You’re making this even harder on me, I don’t think I can prolong it much longer.” 

Your face flushes at his words, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean by that…?” 

“I guess I wasn’t clear enough. I still have every intention of collecting your debt -- it’s owed to me after all -- but it’s not Mora I’m going to be taking.” 

Childe smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. You watch how his expression darkens, unable to look away, despite wanting to do nothing more. When did it become so difficult to breathe? Every one of your senses is on high alert. From the running stream by your side, the breeze rustling your hair, and the electrifying aura that radiates from Childe. Ever the one for dramatics, he pauses to greedily drink in your appearance.

“I’ll be taking you instead,” he finally releases his vise-like grip on you, stepping back with grace. “So look forward to it, okay? I know I have been.” 

Childe starts on the path back to Liyue. You stand there, stunned into silence, eyes wide as saucers. When you don’t follow after him, he turns his head and beckons you to his side. Your stomach drops as he goes to speak up again. 

“Come, [First], I’ll walk you home. Wouldn’t want anything happening to you, now would we?” 

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[pigeonp0st]

May I request a fic where Wanda Maximoff tries to make the reader who is shy laugh and accidentally discovers that the reader is extremely ticklish and she pins down and tickles the reader? Could you make it around 900 words and fluffy? Thank you! :)

Wanda Maximoff x Reader #3

Words: 1,489

Warnings: A vaguely sexual sentence

Notes:

There’s not an ounce of angst in this? Who am I? And I’m uploading again after only 3 days??? I feel reborn! Anyways, thanks for requesting and sorry for spelling mistakes.

————

Supernova’s have nothing on you. That’s what Wanda thinks the first time she sees you smile. She thinks of supernova’s, planets, and comets in the sky and she thinks of how she’d give up them all just to hear you laugh.

She’d give star, on top of star, she’d give galaxies, and wishes that aren’t hers to give, she’d give you anything, if only she could.

Telling you that though, that won’t make you laugh. It isn't funny to her how much she adores you (how much she loves you), and she doesn’t think it will be funny to you either. Honestly, you’d probably cry, and then Wanda would also start crying— and you’d both just be crying.

No, Wanda decides fairly quickly, that isn’t a good decision.

So...instead she tries stupid jokes on the internet, pranks on the others, pranks on HERSELF, stupid faces... everything...but apparently everything is not enough to make you laugh.

It’s infuriating.

Infuriating because sometimes—sometimes, you look so close. So close to laughing that your shoulders shake with the effort to hold it in, and she’s left to wonder why you try so hard to keep her from the one thing she desires more than anything.

You’re her girlfriend, and she’s never heard you laugh. It’s quite possibly her greatest shortcoming in life (she has a lot of them). She’s heard chuckles, and breathy laughs, she’s heard small huffs of laughter, and she’s seen gigantic grins, but she’s never heard you laugh fully, and unapologetically.

Today— today will be the day it happens. She’s more determined than ever.

————-

Today won’t be the day. She’s tried everything and more, and the only thing she’s gotten out of it is you looking at her like she’s crazy.

“I’ll pay you,” Wanda finally says, “please if you just...if you just…” She can’t bring herself to say what she wants because somehow it feels like she’s breaking the rules she’s made up in her head. “Can you just please?”

You watch her for a couple of moments, thinking so hard she can almost see the wheels turning in your head—yes, yes, yes, finally, Wanda thinks— but then you shake your head in exasperation, and continue eating your dinner.

Okay, this is fine; Wanda tells herself.

...tomorrow will be the day.

———-

“Have you...just tried to tickle her?” Sam asks Wanda the next day. “I noticed her holding in her laughter when that stray we kept last week started licking her foot—so she’s probably ticklish.”

She’s been complaining to him about her failures their whole lunch, and it seems to have paid off. Sam is a very smart guy. When she says so though he snorts and shakes his head in amusement.

“No red wizard, this time I think this is more about what you lack than what I have. You’ve been thinking too big.”

Wanda glares at him. “Call me ‘red wizard’ again the next place you’ll be flying is into a volcano.”

…Despite the change in their conversation, and the bickering it turns into, it was a very helpful discussion.

———

Mission ‘Hyena” is a go (she decided to name it Hyena because they are known for their laughs. She thinks it’s pretty creative).

All she has to do, she decides, is ambush you. The best time for it will be right after training—you usually decide to take a quick bath and lounge in bed afterwards, and you’re very sweet and gullible when you’re tired.

For some reason her plans make her feel like a very sneaky and awful person. She feels a bit of guilt…it doesn’t override her excitement, fortunately. She has been waiting for this day too long to feel any significant amount of guilt. Plus, it’s not like her end goal is malicious.

———

You're laying in bed scrolling through your phone when you get pounced on by Wanda….You’re not exactly surprised by the occurrence though.

Wanda’s been looking at you like a panther when she thinks you aren’t looking, but one that’s truly bad at hunting. So you aren’t surprised that she jumps on you, but you are surprised about WHY she jumps on you.

You were expecting something far more scandalous than a tickle fest.

———

Wanda doesn’t start tickling you immediately. She’s so utterly shocked by your expectant raised eyebrow that she just pauses for a moment, lost.

“Is it okay that i’m on top of you?” Wanda asks after a moment, because she realizes that she sort of has you trapped.

You pause, thinking with narrowed eyes. Then say, more amused than disappointed, but still slightly disappointed, “yeah.”

Wanda thinks back on all these past weeks, on all of her efforts to make you laugh—actually laugh— and starts to raise her hands-

“Is this the part where you tickle me?”

Her hands freeze. She freezes. You even freeze.

“Oh,” you say, smirking with a look far too smug, and far too victorious for someone who was supposed to be losing, “did you think I was an idiot?”

And Wanda drops her hands back down, this time not on your wrist but across her chest, and then over her face because she has truly never felt more ashamed. Not for her schemes, but for how she’s failed them.

She doesn’t know when this turned into some sort of competition, but it’s clearly one-sided.

“So...you’re not going to tickle me?” You ask when Wanda gets off of you.

Wanda grits her teeth, feeling more bitter than she ought to feel. “No, you dork, if I tickle you now it’s anticlimactic. You just had to go and talk, didn’t you?”

You actually have the decency to look guilty for a second, but then you realize what the two of you are talking about and just snort. “What is this, some badly written fic on tumblr by some overwhelmed gay author? At least try. Come on, it will be amusing for me. You might even get me to laugh at your struggles.”

Wanda doesn’t really stop to muse about how oddly specific you were, she just rolls her eyes and turns to leave...only to get stopped by you tugging on the back of her shirt.

When she looks over her shoulder to look at you your eyes are hard and determined, and she knows what’s about to happen now too. Just like you had.

She knows, because the determined set to your eyes turns soft the second Wanda meets her eyes to yours, and you're sitting back down now, letting go of Wanda’s shirt.

“You really gonna give up that easily?” You ask quietly, eyes shifting to the ground. And Wanda is just melting, melting because she loves you and you’re the sweetest person she’s ever met, melting because you're willing—you want— to give her what she wants.

Wanda lets out a small breathless laugh, turns around completely, bops you on the nose with a soft smile gracing her lips, and only hopes that it communicates ‘I love you’ effectively enough.

You smile back, unable not to, waiting for Wanda to look for what she wants. “Who cares if it’s anti-climatic, right?”

To your surprise, Wanda grins, kissing the top of your head, and says; “I wanna surprise you. It’s more fun that way.”

So you grumble and pull her into a hug, because if she isn’t going to tickle you, you expect her to hold you anyways.

She does.

———

Mission Hyena fails. She’s not too mad about it.

She can’t be, when just the next morning she wakes you up with kisses, and tickles, and you wake up grumpy and laughing all at once.

She can’t be when your laughter fills her sun kissed room with even more light, and she can’t be when this moment feels like it’s more than worth the wait.

As Wanda watches you laugh, watches as you throw your head back and force out breathless, soft pleads, she thinks that she would have waited eternity for this moment.

Supernova’s, galaxies, comets, wishes, and an endless amount of stars, they all would have been worth it, but none of them would have been a payment high enough. ‘Anything’ is not even sufficient enough.

You just look and sound so happy, and it’s all Wanda has ever wanted to give you. It warms her heart more than anything else ever could, warms it so much she wishes she could bottle this moment and keep it with her forever, because memories aren’t good enough either.

Still, when you ask afterwards, grinning and exhausted with your arm still clutching your torso and your voice still raspy; “was it worth it all?”

Wanda smiles, fulfilled and happy too, and doesn’t mention the price she was willing so pay. She just nods her head, and says; “Yeah. Yeah, I think it was.”

Like she wasn’t just considering if next time the universe would be enough.