#Anyways imma go to bed now its past 8 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

selfcareparker · 3 years

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LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

#lovely anon #<333 #okay its so late now i dont wanna post it now in case i‘m too tired to notice losds of mistakes #but i also wanna post it now so.#*loads #i‘m posting it #and i absolutely do not mind if you answer like this!!!! but if you ever do feel like it‘s too much or you uust want to respond to one thing #in particular sooner then pls go ahead! <3

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heyyylittlemo · 4 years

Text

Ask game

1. Where did you hide the body??

Me: *pause* No, where did you hide the body—

*police stare at me with disbelief*

Me: there’s no—there’s not a single body here—well stop looking at me like that, you’re the cop! You should know! Why are you asking me for! Body? Whaaaaaat. Ahaha.

*cops shake head*

*whispers to my friend* Guys I think I pulled that one off

Police: you know we can hear everything you’re saying

me: 👁👄👁

2. Favorite rock? The 1975. Dominic Fike. Arctic Monkeys. Bad Suns. The killers. Pale Waves. Etc. That good good shit 👌

3. Most aesthetic season? Fall. Love them orange colors. The leaves falling. Though spring is also neat if you have a bunch of flowers bloomin in shit and winter is only aesthetic when it’s snowing. Boring ass summer tho just be heating me up.

4. When texting do u shorten words or spell out? I used to write stuff out all the time mostly but now it’s like half and half bcuz its just faster and nobody got time for it 🤣🤣

5. Vintage stuff? Hell yeah, but maybe not anything too expensive since some old stuff IS hyper expensive.

6. Colors that pop or blend? Not sure I understand what u mean abt them blending ahaha u mean like when they’re so similar to another?? Well I think it’s nice but honestly I prefer a pop and a bang, y’Know?

- At this moment I realized I was answering the last few questions from a completely different ask and felt like a dumbass 😂 anyways the actual number we’re on is three so imma just kickback

3. Worst dream u have ever had? I had sleep paralysis but was imbetween that and a lucid dream. At first I was paralyzed and could see my bed but my eyes felt closed and open at the same time?? A giant dark demon looking dog had towered over me and began to tear at my neck. It looked and felt very real I started to try to scream and it felt like a scream was coming out but no sound exited. Then I went into a lucid dream where I was being chased by this dog and running for my life I was running by and nobody could save me nobody in the dream when it caught up to me I was back in my bed and it was trying to eat me again. I was so terrified I couldn’t sleep for a whole week.

4. Lyric that comes to your mind? “And I don’t think I can be there. I’m paralyzed,I’m terrified of being alone. When you said I deserved what had happened.”

5. Blood make u uncomfortable? Yes, I passed out once when getting my finger pricked and a VERY small blood sample and another when dissecting a fish.

6. Even or odd numbers? Well I like the number 5,7,9, 3 so odd. (Like me 🤣🤣)

7. Something I hate that I love? Anything I’ve ever loved becuz love can be frustrating. Bruh.

8. 1st initial of someone I hate? Hmm...do I hate someone tho? Not that I can think of...

9. *Skipping down the lane* NOPE

10. Corn dogs? It’s funny cuz when I think of corn dogs my mind will always go to when we first moved to our current house because at our initial town we never had Sonic and while we were getting the house fixed up and moving stuff we use to always get Sonic since it was the closest to us most times to eat and that was a bunch of corn dogs and hotdog days 🤣 so thnk u corn dogs for ur service

11. I’m not a huge movie person so...I looked up movies from 2005 and movies Inlike from this time are Brokeback mountain bcuz it’s gay af, Shark Boy and Lava Girl damn I rewatched the shot out of it when I was younger, Narnia and the Chocolate Factory(although it low key creeped me out as a kid, and idk why).

12. Least fav music genre? Most country, most EDM, dubstep, screaming/really hard rock, some pop music, mumble raping.

13. As someone who waits on tables, my job is my least favorite restaurant experience 🤣🤣 just dealing with ppl...like ok, I’m half Hispanic right?? But I look white. Well, I work at a Mexican restaurant and so sometimes racist costumers will say shady shit just bcuz I guess they think it’s appropriate to say it to me just bcuz I’m not Hispanic in their eyes?? But it pisses me off and I feel like I can’t say anything without causing a drama which I hate and when the “costumers always right” it can be hard to budge and stand up and say “bitch wtf did u just say??” And there’s just folks who take things the wrong ways or ask too much at once or give u a hard time or just say something that sticks onto you for the whole day. One bad move can turn my whole day upside down.

14. 3 things never come near me? Cockroaches, Needles, and close mind ppl

15. Worst way to die? With regrets. Something really brutual, random, or where something just happened to go wrong (accident). Being killed by someone u love.

16. Unusual habits? Doing a Michael Jackson esque “hee-hee” after every sneeze I make, being extremely clumsy and making every task 100% more difficult, having the ability to talk as if I have an accent that comes from nowhere in particular just stupidity also I can’t speak my own language half the time 🙃getting words confused or misusing them in a sentence so I sound dumb having a very weird imagination and thoughts, I swear it like I never went to school and don’t know how the world works, plus many many more

17. Clothing style u want? I want to dress in a way that screams who I am and is a blend of both femininity and masculinity. A little vintage. Grunge. Urban maybe?? What do I know abt fashion 🤣🤣

18. Song or artist that deserves more? Dijon, hands down. I love his stuff. He’s like Frank Ocean meets light-singing beautiful lyricist with a more rock vibe?? Hidden gem. I also think Durand Jones & the Indications needs more love along with BadBadNotGood they sound like old-times but are new!! Oh, and Pale Waves is like a female The 1975 and kicks it. Bad Suns is a good alt rock band that no one seems to recognize :,D Toro y Moi too! His song with Flume “The difference “ is a banger!! Kid Cudi is my man when I want a blend of rock and rap. Also Dominic Fike,King Krule, and Roy Blair, who are all amazing!! Ok I need to stop 🛑

Duck I answered the past questions from a different post I’m sorry 😐

17. Emoji never used? There’s a bunch since I reuse the same over and over again. Lmao

18. 3 sentence Gatorade horror story? A faint quiver overtook the small freezer the Gatorade lay in; no one had come by in days, hours, weeks; when was the last time he met the lips of a thirsty body? They’d forgotten about him, as his last sips remained glued to his hollowing entrance. ‘Help, ‘it wanted to say, but it’s frozen lips could not be moved; It’d stay here, die here...just like the rest.” What am I doing with my life 🤣🙏

19. Do u know what an old bay is? A bay that is old? And old ocean? Idk!!!

20. Can u dance? Sometimes I dance when I’m alone but nothing spectral lol

21. What first comes to ur mind when u see ropes? 2 extremes. Sex and death. Hm. Ok. Moving on.

22. Make an obscure reference. “Even a bra couldn’t hold these nipples” *Holds a water gun to chest*

23. Fav balloon color? Pink or yellow.

24. If u were in court would u be innocent or guilty? Depends, what am I in court for 🤣 lmao jk honestly idk bcuz I don’t think I’d wind up in there

25. Are u hungry ? Nope

26. Unlucky number? Hm I don’t think so but I have a lucky number “123”

27. What’s “JMD”stand for? I’m guessing...Jamming my d—- 💀lol jk ahaha why am so dirt

28. Random inside joke? *chirpy squeak* I’m making a double batch of cookies

29. What sends chills up ur spine? Seeing disgust food or smell disgust or talking abt disgust things like gore

30. How many questions are in ur inbox? A pathetic zero ahaha no one want to ask me anything 😂

31. Someone real who scares u. 2 of my ex friends. One when I was 10 said disturbing things and I was kinda forced onto the friendship and everything they said make me fear for others lives...and then a different ex friend who seemed normal at 1st but became both low key psychopath cult leader type stuff and I booed out of there—-.

32. Run or hide? Uhh probably hide because I’d say even if ppl say “u can run but u can’t hide” u CAN just hide! that’s the point of hiding they not find u xD also why not combine them? Hide then run somewhere far away once I got them off the trial.

33. Last person who made u angry? A frickin beetle that flew at me and pinched me in the middle of singing in the shed xD also my autocorrect

34. What’s going on in ur head? I should probably pee soon—

35. Little thing that makes u Smile? A lot of little things bruh.

36. Are u a descisive person?

Not sure.

*pAuse *

Ok, I guess I’m not then 🤣

37. Would ppl say I’m paranoid? Hm maybe about certain things social situations, singing in front of others what ppl think abt me etc etc

38. Store least likely in? Any southern clothes shop, Abercrombie & Finch types shit, lol

39. Do I like hats fave type? Hm not wear many hats but I think they’re cool any type is cool for different ppl and their aesthetici just can’t rock a hat.

40. Bow ties or ties? Don’t really care but now want to see more bow ties

41. Who? You.

42. What? Reading this shit

43. Where? In ur ass

44. When? Now.

45. Why? Not even u know why.

46. How? We all want to know

47. Do u collect anything? Vinyl records.

48. What tome is it? Time to get a watch

49. Fav transportation? My car or walk is possible

50. Would u ever kill someone to save someone? Don’t want to think about that

51. Make a joke. Yo, it’s time to make a joke—so the other day I was working. And I was practicing my Spanish, yes? Anyone whose trying to learn anew language k n o w s that sometimes words can be so close to another u just confuse then! So apparently churros in Spanish is a desert but if u say it more harshly (it literally sounds almost the same) it makes a whole different meaning—diharrea, but like I didn’t know that so I legit just walked up to this person and asked if they would like some shit to eat. So yeah, that was great. Let’s not forget that I mixed up blood, watermelon, and sangria which is a wine. I legit once said I had mixed wine in my vines and another time watermelon 🤣

52. I’m really confused so I skip

53. Would ur dash be confiscated SFW? By dash do u mean this account? Um not 😬

54. Do I like to cuddle? Hell yeah and manhandle ppl all the time it’s my affection

55. What makes u angry? Close minded ppl or ppl who jump too fast to conclusions, strict schedules just dumb stuff that people try to force when I just want to be carefree 😭✌️

56. How many voices are in ur head? 😐

57. Do U consider urself mentally stable? 😐

58. Are u easily offended? Well U just called me mentally unstable and asked it there was voices in my head!!

59. What’s wrong with taking the backstreets? Uhm...

60. Any questions u want ppl to ask u? Nothing in particular but it’s be nice if someone care to ask me something abt me from personal question to my opinions on shit to 19 days fandom related junk 😌

Woooo I’ve finished this game! Thanks to @seiji-amasawa for introducing me to this ^^

#tag game #game #ask #19 days #19days

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ruiyuki-archives · 4 years

Text

Todomomo Childhood-friends-to-best-friends-to-roommates-to-FWB-to-lovers Quirkless AU [Part 1]

This is an AU I wrote on the todomomo discord server eons ago. Since it’s forever buried in the server now, this is a copy-paste from the chat.

Anything posted to this blog will be transcripts of old original work and not really edited, save for formatting. I have no guarantees if I will ever finish these AUs either so these will only be kept as an archive.

Originally posted: May 2018.

Part 1 (sfw) || Part 2 (nsfw) || Part 3 (nsfw)

Ok. Heres some garbage childhood-friends-to-best-friends-to-roomates-to-fwb-to-lovers quirkless AU that wont leave me alone for some few nights:

BASICALLY todo and momo knew each other since they were 5, coming from rich families as rich families do

(their moms were college friends or smth but then todo's mom got an arrange marriage w endeavor but idk lets just make enji's not as shitty of a father in this AU and doesnt abuse his family aghshcjfjsl)

BUT ANYWAY ye todo and momo grew up as childhood friends and their moms always arranged play dates for them

and momo's a super curious girl since day 1, and todo's his usual smol shy boy self

so during these playdates all the cute 5 year old shenangians happen like momo taking todo outside to explore her 20 acre backyard and them going on imaginary adventures, going through momo's mountain of books in their mansion's library, accidentally fall asleep together on the couch after a fun day n stuff

and todo slowly opens up from being shy but only to momo bc she's his first friend and a beautiful ray of sunshine and honestly who wouldnt love her

so with their families being so close they basically grow up together; todo and momo spending their summers together, always attending the same rich people balls and stuff that adults do but are boring for kids etc etc

they dont go to the same school so whenever todo visits momo she listens to him talk abt the weird stuff fuyumi and touya (dabi) get into bc theyre teenagers and honestly he doesnt understand

and at some point when theyre like 8 he talks abt how fuyumi is gushing over teenage shoujo romances and how kissing and all that lovey dovey stuff has gotta be weird and whats so special about it she wont shut up?

and momo listens intently but after todo's rant, momo, being curious as she is, is like "I wanna know what its like!!" "wat" "what its like to kiss someone!" "momo youre crazy" "No no seriously i wanna know! Can we try?" "WAT" "please :( kiss me :(" "..." "Pleaaaseeeee" "... ok fine one time"

he really cant say no to her

and so like, they have a little quick peck on the lips while theyre sitting outside in momo's garden on the swings

and a second later theyre like "..." "..." "... ew das weird lets not do that again" "yeah"

(Rmbr theyre 8)

so thats that until later.. 👀

when they reach middle school age momo moves with her family to america for a couple years bc of her dad's company

their moms still tried to let them telephone call or write letters to each other while apart

most of the letters exchanged were todo asking what momo's life was like in america, and momo rambling abt a new book or learning english or why on earth do american toilets suck (todo replies with a bunch of smug remarks and tells her to come home then)

momo checks up on todo to make sure hes making friends in middle school but ofc he tells her not to worry but really hes lonely orz

but then one day he gets a letter saying she'll be returning to Japan for high school n everything bc she and her mom are moving back but her dad is staying in the states. And she'll be attending the same high school as him!! 👀

and ya. That.. happens. LOL they meet each other on the first day at UA (prestigous school not for heroing) and theyre in the same class and they sit next to each other and wow this is too perfect

but also like, lets not forget, its been 3 years since theyve seen each other and well.

Puberty hit both of them like a train.

Welp. 👀

thankfully they havent lost their chemistry and (mostly) everything is the same.... but also different.

its like the aomine and momoi thing in knb; todo tells momo to call him "todoroki-san" instead of shouto and he goes back to (trying to) call her Yaoyorozu bc its gonna look weird to the rest of their class if theyre overly familiar w each other (especially with a wretched pervert sitting in front of momo)

but really they still call each other by name when theyre alone

(and also todo slips up calling her Momo a lot unconsciously still even tho it was him that suggested it in the first place)

and so, high school flies by with both of them being hyper aware of differences from when they were kids

shouto becomes more shoujo every passing year with fangirls and cherry blossom petals and everything and momo makes fun of him bc it was the exact thing he couldnt understand as a kid

they have a few moments of their own awkward suggestively shoujo moments too like in the home ec room on valentines day when momo tries to make chocolates but makes a mess out of the kitchen and todo passes by and helps clean up but they end up making a bigger mess and oops. Momo slipped onto the floor and todo tried to catch her but oops he slipped too and now theyre in a compromising position as aizawa walks in 😳

but does anything come out of it?... not really.

university applications come around the corner in their senior year and guess what. Their programs of choice are offered by the same university. And they both get accepted. Woohoooooo

and guess double what. Touya (dabi) suggests they rent a flat together bc why the hell not it kills two birds w one stone on their living situation (since dorms are offered to less.. wealthy.. students first or smth)

so they do. Theyre adults now. They've know each other for all their lives. Its good to have someone you trust nearby. It'll be fine, right? right?!?

WRONG.

neither of them expected to experience just how domestic they could be

ie. Momo walking into the kitchen in the morning to find todo, making breakfast, shirtless in just his pajama pants, hair still ruffled with bed head, offering her a cup of coffee

..... fuck since when did he get so hot. Wait what? Snap out of it Momo!! "three creams no sugar, here" "How did you know?" "Momo i've known you since we were 5. You like your coffee sickeningly pale that it shouldnt even be classified as coffee anymore" "..... thanks"

ie #2. Todo hearing momo calling him from the inside of the bathroom, while she's showering?!??!?!, like it was an emergency "momo what is it?" "Ummm i ran out of soap and forgot to bring a new one on the way in. Can you grab it for me?" "Wat?!" "Hand me the soap shouto. I bought a new one today, its in the kitchen. I left the door unlocked so just come in. Please!!" "... you trust me too much" he mumbles under his breath.

footnotes:

the ending of this is probably along the lines of oooo they realize some feelings happen and is it okay to fall in love with your best friend/childhood friend/roomate?!?!? and yes, the answer is yes

todo still does become friends w the deku squad while in UA

Theyve dated other people before the whole -to-lovers part (bc ya bet Imma throw in iidamomo or smth but it didnt work out) (gonna get reaaal awks when the fwb kick in)

somehow i'll throw in eri as dadzawa's daughter, some how

dabi knows

shouto doesnt even know what he knows, he just knows

> archives masterpost

#todomomo #todoroki shouto #momo yaoyozoru #not edited #ruiyukis unfinished aus #sorry not sorry #idk man just take it

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rynhaswritersblock · 4 years

Text

tiktok famous (hc) - part four | p.p.

summary: episode four of tiktoks with y/n and peter ayooooo

warnings: cussing. what's new LOL

+ + +

- BACK AGAIN

- these are the imagines that i can pretty much just pump out because the plot line is like already layed out for me

- in conclusion i like writing these lol

- okay SO

THESE ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO GAVE IDEAS::: spideybparker starbabez mrose12623 elliedevotee lilcassipuff buckybigbutt

THANK U! <3

^^ if you've changed your username i'm so sorry whenever i get requests i write down the username and it's lowkey difficult to track who is who and if they've changed it ahhhhh

- aight

- lets get into it

- yuhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- i'm gonna be saying yuh get into it so much in this imagine i apologize in advance

- like it's kinda bad

- oops

- so y'all know those audios that are like the fake calls

- it's like that man's voice he's like "hey whassup shorty your man around?"

- THAT ONE

- so naturally

- y'all know where this is going

- you and pete are just chilling (this is how all of them start. i feel like a broken record. help)

- you're like FUCK IT LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS

- you start recording

hey whassup shorty

- peter goes into FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE

- he's just playing video games (fortnite aye) but the S E C O N D HE HEARS THAT RANDOM MAN'S VOICE

- fuckin RIPS OFF THE HEADSET

- EYEBROWS FURROWED AS HE LOOKS AT YOU HE'S LIKE

- huh wHAT NOW

- ????!!!!!!!!!!

- you fail at keeping a straight face cause the fucking AUDIO

your man around?

- a wheeze FLIES out of you mouth as peter SHOOTS UP FROM HIS CHAIR

- big "FUCK NO!" energy

- mans practically jumps on top of you

- he's like angry and confused at first but then he sees how hard you're laughing and just gets even more confused

"what was that?"

- his voice is all high cause it does that in tense situations

- puppy face is loud n clear!

- babey

- meanwhile you can't catch your breath for SHIT

- so you show him the video as you continue to literally die

- as soon as he realizes he just melts

- he's like laying on top of you and buries his face in the crook of your neck before bursting out into laughter and holding you tighter

"you can't do that!"

- god me thinking about that happening irl is giving me BUTTERFLIES

- sexc

- okay this one is another fake phone call

- just gonna jump into it it's pretty much the same situation

- in this one you two are over 18 btw

- for ~legal reasons~

- the audio starts playing with the ringtone and peter just glances over

- he's too busy watching b99

- naturally

hey this is dr. alvarez! we received your pregnancy test results

- WHAT

- peter has never jumped so hard in his LIFE

- tv is PAUSED even captain holt has the shocked expression (who am i kidding it's holt his facial expression is as dead as a brick)

- 🅱eter literally yells

"WHAT"

- audio keeps going

is there a time next week you could come in and talk?

"y/n what"

- he runs over to you and you bust out laughing as he looks at your phone and realizes it's a tiktok

- an annoyed smile pulls at his lips and he groans and wraps his arms around you

"you had me there for a second"

- let's just say peter parker had family on his mind a LOT more since then

- wink wink

- k SO

- queso

- haha

- anyways

- y'all know that one sound

pussy so good i could save that shit for later

- welcome to straight tiktok!

- so y'all just chillin on his bed as best friends do

- on ur phones and shit

- and peter parker is a basic bitch so he has the led lights

- which i want SO BAD btw ugh my room would be such a vibe

- update i'm editing this and i just ordered some ayooooo

- anyways they're currently blue so like

- innocent

- chill

- but THEN

- the audio starts playing from peter's phone

pussy so good-

- you gAsp as the lights turn red

- ur like

- holy shit i didn't know parker could do that

- next thing you know peter's hand is on your chin/jaw (just about ur neck OOPS)

- his mouth is practically ON your ear

- you see him holding his arm out in front of you recording and you can't help but laugh

- but DAMN

his jawline is out and everything and he's fucking SMIRKINGGGG as he whispers the lyrics into your ear

- BUTTAFLIESSSSSSSSSSSSS

- big mattia vibes (btw that man is NOT attractive i'm sorry)

- moving on

- i know i've written one of the ones where you kiss your best friend

- but time to turn the tables

- oh how the turn tables

- time for y/n to be a bad bitch cause WE MAKING THE FIRST MOVE!!

- hell yea!

- so it's late right

- like late late

- at least midnight (sleep schedule is MESSED from quarantine though so honestly late rn is like 2 or 3 in the morning yikes)

- and ur hella bored

- on tiktok

- the fuck else do you expect?

- and you start doing the thing where you start thinking about getting up and doing something and you think about it so much that you physically can NOT sit there any longer and must Move or Die

- i KNOW i am not the only one

- so that happens

- and you're like FUCK IT

- so you walk out of your room and into peter's next door

- oh to live at avengers headquarters and live next to peter parker

- you just fucking stroll in

- peter's fat ass just goes "hey thanks for knocking"

- meanwhile you can't even stand to look at him because you're afraid that if you do all of your confidence will VANISH

- so you set up the camera and start recording

- at this point peter's sitting up and just watching you cause he's so confused

- and

- (HERE WE GO)

- it takes everything in you not to RUN OUT

- but you walk over to him

- wrap a hand around his neck

- tilt your head and lean down

- when peter realizes what's going on he's like OH MY GOD

- fight or flight response HITS except its JUST FLIGHT

- HIS BODY CHOSE FLIGHT

- he fucking REELS back

- can't even process that his best friend and crush since EVER just tried to kiss him

- sdfjksdkfjsdfg

- DKJFNHSKDFNSLA

- you're like fuck! so you turn to start r u n n i n g a w a y

- but then his hands wrap around your waist

- you FLY backwards and laugh as the two of you flop into the bed

- and he kisses you

- mwah ha ha haaaaaa

- don't ask why the evil laugh just accept it

- i am tired yes it is only 8:43pm i am still tired

- NEXTTTTTTT

- so y'all know those povs where it's like you find out your soulmate's first words on your bday

- well

- ha

- you and peter are bored because ~ q u a r a n t i n e ~

- chilling at headquarters

- bored in da house and i'm in da house bored

- and peter's like "imma make a pov!"

- okay!

- so i'm just gonna lay it out for you HERE WE GO

- he has the generic countdown thing (text boxes saying 3...2..1! you know the deal) and then he looks at his wrist and it says "hey spider-boy!" and he gets so flustered - next clip it's him running into "you" (obviously you're not actually in it but he does the text box thingy) - you're asking about what it says and try to get a peek but he pulls away - next clip it's right before your bday - and then you find out your quote and it says "it's spider-MAN! cause i'm a man!" - and peter is just looking anxiously/happily at the camera

- PERIOD

- i hope that was a good visual idk i tried

- and uhhhh yeah that one stays in the drafts bc he doesn't wanna expose himself

- moving right along by the way it's raining rn and i'm listening to my kind of woman by mac demarco and UGH this song makes me so...... jkdfhsdk

- OKAY THIS IS ANOTHER STRAIGHT TIKTOK ONE

- but it's cute so

- fuck it

- y'all know it

i wanna put you in seven positions for seventy minutes babe

- mischievous as ✨hell✨

- oh my god i got another idea okay i'm writing that after this one

- anyways!

- you and peter are chilling

- note: i yell at myself every time i write that because the AMOUNT OF THESE THAT START THIS WAY GOD

- he's watching netflix or something idk

- fyi outer banks is overrated sorry not sorry

- yell at me if u want but

- it's riverdale for vsco girls

- you set up the camera and start recording

- audio starts playing and you climb into his lap and he's like WOAH

- you like put your hands on his cheeks/jaws lol and you start mouthing the lyrics

- but the THING IS (pt 1)

- homeboy catches on pretty quick

- and

- fuck

- he starts MOUTHING THE LYRICS BACK

- you deadass have to take a second and reel back to catch your breathe

- but the THING IS (pt 2)

- HE'S GOTTEN ALL INTO IT

- SO HE PULLS YOU BACK IN

- UR FUCKIN FOREHEADS ARE TOUCHING AND YOU BOTH JUST START REALLY AGGRESSIVELY MOUTHING THE LYRICS

- kinda hot doe

- something for u to think about at night

- hey bitch this is a reminder to write about the fairy comments

- thanks past me

- SO

- hmm lemme think

- okay

- so

- okay yes

- so peter-man posts a tiktok of him doing flips n stuff

- like very generic white boy look at me doing things

- and it's very impressive

- but

- you decide to just GO AT IT IN THE COMMENTS

- LIKE TOTALLY ANNIHILATE HIM

- i'm just gonna write some examples

- fuck me for writing this on a computer finding all these emojis on here is very difficult

- oh well

- here we go:

- oh my god a squirrel just climbed up the tree in my front yard and it caught me so off guard my heart skipped a beat

- wait okay irrelevant

- for real this time here we go:

you ate that 💕🧚‍♀️⚡🌟next time make it me instead 💖🧚‍♀️✨ omg peter you came on my fyp 🧚‍♀️💖✨but make it on me next 🧚‍♀️💕✨🦋 a necklace 💕✨🧚‍♀️⚡but make it your hands ✨💖🦋😌

- and so on

- lets just say when peter saw those

- his face got SO RED

- TOOK HIM AT LEAST TEN MINUTES TO COMPOSE HIMSELF

- AND THEN HE RAN INTO YOUR ROOM

"y/n what is this"

"uh fairy comments"

"but they're so-"

- you just stare at him and like

- shrug

- but knowingly

- HAHA OKAY NEXT ONE

- okay i took a break to go sit in the rain and eat hawaiian rolls 10/10 experience def go do that next time it rains

- i think i wrote one like this but with the supalonely dance

- so this time

- we doing the savage dance

- first of all that song is a BANGER

- second, the dance is SO FUN

- so it's the same thing as last time

- you set up the camera but have it face peter instead of u sneaky sneaky

- and then u start doing the dance of course

- and obv peter is like yuhhhhhhhhh get into itttttttttt

- clapping along and smiling and whooping

- supportive bby

- but THEN

- YOU THROW IT BACK

- HOMEBOY DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING

- HALF OF HIM IS LIKE OH FUCK I SHOULD'VE STOPPED HER

- OTHER HALF IS SAYING holy shit !

- once you finish you look at peter and he's just like 👁👄👁

- lol

- anyways

- you watch that video MULTIPLE TIMES afterwards

- okay in this one you and pete are 18+ because

- we like being legal 😌✋

- but it's one of those where you walk out in front of your boyfriend naked

- so peter just got home from patrol and climbs in through the window of y'alls shared apartment

- oh to live in an nyc apartment with peter parker UGH

"y/n? i'm home babe"

- the camera is shaking because you're laughing so hard and kinda nervy

- but you walk out of y'alls room and peter just turns to you

- nearly drops his fucking mask

- he's shocked for a second before he gets such a big smile on his face and throws you over his shoulder

- hehe

- okay last one i love this one sm this tiktok came up on my fyp and i immediately though THIS IS Y/N AND PETER

here it be::

https://www.tiktok.com/@wizqueifa_/video/6826567570116611333

god i hope that works and y'all can watch it lmk if u can't like if the link doesn't work or anything

- okay basically it's that tiktok but u and peter

- like that video EXACTLY everything about it is perfect

- that's it lol

- and i recommend watching her other tiktoks with her boyfriend bc their relationship is adorable and it's totally y/n and peter

- okay i think (hope to god) i've written all the ones that y'all requested

- i think i might only do just one more part of these???? idk i feel like if i just keep going on with them (cause obv trends keep coming) half this book would just be the tiktoks lol

- ANYWAYS

- peace out homies i love each and every one of you

- be kind to urself and try to be productive

- i'm gonna go try and write some more so

- yes

- MWAH <3

+ + +

hi i hope you guys are doing well

ily

#peter parker #tom holland #peter parker imagines #marvel #mcu #spiderman #peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #fanfic #fluff #writing #peter #parker #thomas holland

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parks-involving-water · 6 years

Text

Review: Midnight by Set It Off

Okay let's just get straight to it. Yall know I’m a slut for Set It Off. This is just gonna be me going in-depth into all of my favorite parts of the songs and lyrics. Les go

1. Killer In The Mirror

This has been a bop since DAY ONE are you kidding me????? The sampling? The sheer amount of fuck you energy? The fast part during the pre-chorus? The DROP for the chorus? Cody saying “knock ‘em all the FUCK out” adds 10 years to my lifespan every time I hear it.

Favorite Lyrics: Now I know, there’s no one I can trust I used to think there was Tell me that I’m cut throat- I think you got your eyes closed Feel the fear, and swallow back the tears Let weakness disappear There’s nobody but me here- the killer in the mirror

We been knew this shit goes hard NEXT

2. Hourglass

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW BAD THIS DESTROYED ME WHEN I FIRST HEARD IT. The fucking,,,, instrumental!!! The beat!!!! Cinematics is on the phone and she said this is it chief!!!! God!!! Like can we PLEASE talk about the nananas during the bridge?? It’s such a small thing but it adds so fuckin much to the song,,,, unbelievable

Favorite Lyrics: I'm falling through the hourglass And I don't think I'll ever make it back So I throw stones at walls I'll never climb Victim to the sands of time

This is also such like? Such a defining song for the sound of the whole album, if you think about it. Quality shit

3. Lonely Dance

ANOTHER one we already knew slaps. The guitar? The trumpet? Iconic. This one has such a fucking Vibe. Also???? So relatable. Cody came through with the social anxiety moods and I owe him my life for it.

Favorite Lyrics: Some days I’m up, some days I’m down Some days, the world is way too loud Some days my bed won't let me out But I’m okay with missin’ out on the social anxiety Out on the phony friends I don’t need So I just turn off my phone, turn on TV Cause solo’s the only way I can breathe

Okay a great song but OLD NEWS let’s get to that Fresh Content

4. Different Songs

Possibly the danciest song on this album. The fucking guitar riff and the bass? The melodies? The harmonizing in the bg of the pre-chorus and the bridge? It all blends together and it’s SUCH a bop. The most poppin song about falling out of love I’ve ever heard

Favorite Lyrics: We once called it love, devolved into lust Jealousy speaks out to silence the trust We temper our words 'cause we're scared of the truth Humming tunes that we can't get through

5. For You Forever

The instrumental in this one KILLS me. So do Cody’s vocals, honestly. He really poured his heart out into those “forever”s and you FEEL it. This one really hits me in the heart tbh. The whole theme of giving up on something that you want so bad is big oof

Favorite Lyrics: She said; “I won't wait for you forever, for you forever So, don't you say it's for the better, it's for the better 'Cause I can't take later than never, later than never No, I won't wait for you forever”

6. Dancing With The Devil

THIS SHIT IS SO BRUTAL. Like even the opening- the distorted vocals,,, god. And the lyrics! So fucking pissed off. Cody once again KILLS the delivery. I will never be over the emotion he puts into every song he sings. And when that hook hits the second time with his normal vocals and then the distorted version UNDERNEATH? Hits so hard. Don't even TALK to me about the rap part god. Also,,,, idk if this is about who I Think It’s About but like either way,,, go off sis

Favorite Lyrics: You try to act as if you're saving me But you wouldn't cut the rope if it was hanging me I'm sick of people saying what you sow you reap 'Cause I've been counting down the minutes of that, so to speak Think of all the hours and hours of grindin’ That would turn into sour findings As I wonder if our resigning is becoming the silver lining But I’m not a coward, I’m fighting Cause if they’re the meat, then I’m biting So go ahead, ignoring and smiling Cause I’m climbing til’ I let you know

7. Go To Bed Angry (Feat. Wayfarers)

This is! Such a good song, and I love the message. Like, settling issues instead of being passive aggressive or quietly angry. And it’s so nice to listen? Like everything feels so clean and leads into each other so well. Also!!! I’ve never listened to Wayfarers before but GOD the guest vocalist is AMAZING. Her and Cody’s voices harmonize so well. All in all a fuckin BOP

Favorite Lyrics: So don't you walk away from me Let's settle this, rather hear you scream Than whisper shit- there's no in-between 'Cause if we sleep in our feelings, we'll never start healing

8. Midnight Thoughts

ANOTHER one with some heavy Cinematics vibes. Honestly, I feel like this one is a great example of how amazing this album’s production is. Like, there’s so many little background elements that come together to make it sound so fuckin cool. For example, that one hook near the end where it suddenly strips back to just a beat and vocals? KILLED me. Also, another relatable anxiety bop,

Favorite Lyrics: Dim the lights, shut the blinds, but I’m counting the time Am I nervous or am I insane? Try to turn up the sound, but I can’t shut it out 'Cause I’m hearing the pulse in my veins

9. Criminal Minds

The orchestral feel to this one is so nice, and the rhythm of the lyrics feels so cool. The strings were such a good touch, they go really well with the electric guitar somehow. Cody’s vocals also feel really smooth in this one? Like this is just a pretty sounding number I love it

Favorite Lyrics: This stress eats at my soul I can't tell if I'm breathing at all Street drama takes its toll So, hit the road

10. No Disrespect

UGHHHHH don't get me STARTED on the chorus here. The stripped back staccato rhythm of the vocals with the bursts of instrumental, and then the way it flows into the full instrumental for the repetition in the second half of the chorus. It sounds so fucking gooooooooooooooood I'm having a crisis

Favorite Lyrics: 'Cause I don't see you the way you want to Forget your rescue, we're dreaming, dreaming, dreaming We had our good times, but time has passed by Begin your new life, I'm reaching, pleading, screaming

11. Stitch Me Up

I have SO much to say about this song. Cody and Shay are so fucking cute and their relationship is so nice. Any time Cody talks or sings about Shay you can feel how fuckin in love they are. The only two nice love songs I can ever remember him writing (The other one being Diamond Girl) have been about her and they’ve both been absolute gems. This one especially. It has such a potent vibe that I can really only describe as a summer song. It’s so,,, bouncy and lively and genuinely sweet with just a faint hint of sadness and ughhhhhhhh. PLUS the fuckin commentary Cody gave for this song on his insta story,,,,

“One of my favorites. These lyrics came straight from the heart. [Shay] and I have both come from damaged relationships, but somehow being broken is what made us whole.”

Anyways love is real and I’m soft don't TOUCH ME

Favorite Lyrics: Stitch me up, stitch me up, don’t tear me apart I’ve been stuck in a rut, patched up in the dark Stitch me up, stitch me up, there’s pins in my heart Oh, pardon all my precious scars

12. Raise No Fool

Cody fuckin SNAPPED with this song and I’m living for it. One of the things Cody does so, so well, is delivering just the Most intense anger through his vocals and he brought it ALL for this one. You don’t know what happened but you fuckin FEEL it. Idk who this is about but like,,, killem Cody go Off bitch!!

Favorite Lyrics: Well, first you try to tell me that we're family Then you try to tell me that it's for the best You promise that you'll be there if I need ya But I don't need your handout, you can take it back!

13. I Want You (Gone) (Feat. Matt Appleton)

Another more mellow song, but it’s still so fuckin Good. It just has such a palpable vibe and feel. From what I can gather it’s about leaving a toxic relationship behind, and it Feels that way, in a sense? Like when I listen to it I just get this Feeling of something solemn yet triumphant and clean and new, like cutting someone shitty out of your life. PLUS, that sax? It adds SUCH a nice element to the second half of the song. Matt Appleton is a gift I’m so glad they brought him on for this song

Favorite Lyrics: I guess you'd say I'm blessed I threw away stress the moment I said I want you, I want you gone I'm on my own path, you're stuck in the past I want you, I want you gone

14. Unopened Windows

GOD,,, OKAY,,, HERE WE GO,,, Imma be real with yall. I cried the first time I heard this. It just be like that sometimes. But like this is LITERALLY Dad’s Song 2 and I wasn’t fuckin READY for that. There was no WARNING,,, I wasn’t told I was gonna get hit with that much EMOTION Okay okay for real though, this song is actually gorgeous. It’s just,,, pure fucking grief, so much of it, poured into a song. The composition, the vocals, every element of it is so powerful and heartbreaking. This is the kinda song you cry to- but like, a healing cry, the kind you have right before you take a deep breath and start moving on, y’know? The moment I heard Danny Boy near the end, I started crying all over again. Any time I hear this song or Dad’s Song, I cannot fucking begin to imagine how Cody must feel about what happened to his dad. It’s a kind of grief that can’t be explained. I’m just glad he feels like he can share it with all of us, and that he has a support system behind him. Also, I cannot communicate enough just how much this feels like a fucking,,, movie soundtrack. Like this shit would not feel out of place in a musical or something. The swelling orchestral music near the end fucking kills me. Gotta go cry again brb

Favorite Lyrics: All the stories left unwritten that we drew up in the past It's the game we never went to or the drinks we never had As I look up to the stars and make a wish to bring you back But I curse the roof above me and I learn to live behind all these Unopened windows, bound to my heart Fantasy so close feels so afar But I long to break the lock And live among the life we lost Through unopened windows; they tear me apart...

15. Happy All The Time (Feat. Skyler Acord)

WHAT a closing number. Addmmitedly a bit of a jarring followup to Unopened Windows, but it also makes a lot of sense, to go from a song about grief to a song about letting yourself process negative emotions. It also feels like SUCH a culmination of the album. Maxx even said in his Midnight release livestream, he thinks that it sort of represents the entire message of Midnight as a whole. The album was written to deal with a collection of sad, angry, and upsetting topics or experiences- this song takes all of those and says, “Dude, it’s fine, it’s okay to feel shitty, you don’t have to bottle it in or hide it” and honestly, there are so many people who need to hear that- it’s such an important message. Also??? The fucking???? Choir??? WHAT a touch. Honestly there are Several songs on this album that feel like they could be off a musical soundtrack and this is DEFINITELY one of them. It feels like a finale, and it’s so just powerful and uplifting and emotional, I love it so much.

Favorite Lyrics: It's okay, you're not crazy! Gotta taste the salt to love the sweet Let it out and scream “I'm okay, I'm not crazy!” 'Cause the tears remind me I'm alive It's fine to not be happy all the time!

Honestly, this may be my favorite album by them yet. It’s such a fucking monument to everything they’ve been through and learned and explored as a band for ten years, it has such a clear vision and comes together so well. The lyricism, vocals, instrumentals, composition, and production are all fucking fantastic. I’m so excited to see where this era leads us, and I’m so happy with what we’ve seen so far.

In conclusion, the boys did it again, I’m weeping, and stream Midnight on Itunes and Spotify. Peace out kids a bitch is gonna take a NAP

#set it off #set it off band #cody carson #maxx danziger #zach dewall #dan clermont #sio #midnight

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sublime-samantha · 7 years

Text

Just a Day in the Office

a/n: I know that i have been dead for the past million trillion years. My first ever fic was overwhelming liked by the Hamilton fandom community. but this is not a Hamilton based pic. this is a fic about the office… the only blog, that i know of, that does The Office based fics is @theofficeimagines Anywho,, i hope you enjoy it, whether you follow me or you dont: i hope you enjoy

Pairing: Jim Halpert (The Office U.S) x reader

Prompt(s): “Is that what your parents tell you?” “No, they usually tell me I’m a mistake.” AND “Have you considered space?”

Warning(s): I just typed this up and posted it, no joke, so grammar or spelling errors, unedited

a/n 2.0: Y’ALL I LOVE JIM AND PAM TOGETHER WITH AWLL MY HEART, THEY ARE JUST THE CUTES, I WANT ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS EVER TO BE LIKE THEIRS, BUT Y’ALL, JOHN KRASINSKI IS CUTE AS HELL, Y’ALL so imma write the anyway. Oh, ps, the lowercase is toat’s intentional

Background info: if ya care to read dis: You are a salesperson at Dunder Mifflin and sit where the big post is by Stanley and Phyllis.

worlds: about 1,283 - pretty short

it was 8:56 am. four minutes till work officially starts. you and Jim decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator. you tell yourself its to change it up a bit, get a bit of exercise, but who are you kidding? you just took the stairs to more time to talk to each other before you have to go sell paper and printers for the next several hours.

you giggle and smile shyly up at Jim as he opens the office door for you, he smiles at the back of your head and tells you with a chuckle, “okay, yeah, laugh it up sweetheart. i’m not the only one to ever trip while going up the stairs. in fact didn’t you so the exact same thing on halloween?”

you gasped, “Jimmothy, i thought we agreed to never speak of that, besides that you your fault, you were so eager to get in my pants that you wouldn’t let my go for like 30 seconds so i could walk up the stairs.”

Jim hummed,”whatever makes you sleep at night.”

you smiled at Erin as you passed her at the reception desk.

“hey girly.” you smiled and winked at your friend and co-worker Pam as you passed her while walking Jim to his desk.

“Hey (y/n/n)” Jim responded. Pam glanced at Jim and then you with a half smile.

“woah, Pam, your voice… do like some water or something?” you asked looking at her with a smile.

she hid a laugh and fake cleared her throat, “no i think it was just a frog in my throat.” her phone rang and she smiled at you with that twinkle in her eye and picked up her phone.

you took that as an opportunity to lean down and press a kiss to Jim’s forehead, which was now accessible with him being seated in his swivel chair.

“oh, by the way, remember when you broke our blood oath-”

“-there was no blood, but go on”

“our oath that neither of us would bring up my tripping up the stairs incident, i’m going to steal all of your biggest clients.”

“oh really, cause of i remember correctly, i am better than you,” Jim teased back with a smirk. doing that short pause between each word Jim type of way.

“is that what your parents tell you?”

“nah, they usually tell me i’m a mistake.”

“your patents tell you that too? good cause mine say the same thing about you.

“anywho, imma go back to my desk, but not before i ask my main man Dwight K. Schrute how his weekend was!” you said and put your hand on Dwight’s shoulder, that he immediately shook off.

“(y/n) i do not need to be bothered by unnecessary questions about my free time, that is my business and my business alone. besides, i have bigger things to deal with.” ah, you could just hear Michael say, ‘that’s what she said’..

“and what’s that Dwight?” Jim asked shifting his gaze from you to the beet farmer in question.

“i have a man who wants to buy beets from my beet farm, not that you need to know that”

you and Jim smiled at each other, though your’s was slightly bashful- it always amazes you how Jim can make you so shy and melt into a puddle of goo with just one look, even after years of being together.

you walked to your desk deciding it was time to get started on your work.

11:45, your first out of two breaks, this one and lunch at 1:00.

you picked up your mug and and went to the break room get another up of coffee.

“Drink anymore of that and you’ll be up all night, causing me to be up all night because when you can’t sleep all you talk about how proud of your sister you are, i get it, your proud that she’s married and had a kid, but i don’t need to hear that at 3:20 in the morning,” Jim said as he walked in, sat his empty mug by the coffee maker, and leant against the counter beside you with his arms crossed.

“okay mister, that was only a couple of times, and i am proud of her, it’s like she’s a little adult.”

“’little adult’?”

“Yes, she is only 21 and she has a husband and a kid, but only 21, so little.”

“M’kay, whatever you say. now hurry up, you take centuries to make your coffee.”

unbeknownst to you, Jim looked around making sure no one was around and jogged to close the blinds to the main work area. he strolled back to you and wrapped his arms around your waist and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck and let out a puff of air.

although this was overwhelmingly adorable, it was out of character of Jim at the work place.

“have you considered space?” you teased

Jim let out a small puff of air out of his nose as a laugh / response to your teasing, “actually, i don’t think i have, do you think there’s a dictionary somewhere i could look up that definition?”

“yeah, actually, i bet Oscar has one you could use, it would be under the ‘s’ as in space.” you turned your head slightly to put your nose is his hair to hide your smile.

“i suppose we should get back to work..” Jim trailed off.

you sighed, all you wanted to do was be at your house and cuddled up in bed and maybe have some hot chocolate with Jim, perhaps watch some “Parks and Recreation” but that will just have to wait for several more hours.

he slowly unwound his arms from around your waist, you turned to him and grabbed his mug filling it with the fresh coffee and then your mug. you both walked back to your desks, Jim kissing the top of your head head once you had sat down on your chair.

ahh, 5:00, quittin’ time, second best time of the day. everyone around you started packing up, you grabbed your purse and started putting the small pile of paperwork you had to finish tonight.

you stood up and walked over to Jim, he was putting on his coat and grabbing his brief case, he pushed in his chair and held out his hand for you to grab.

“so how was the rest of your wok day?”

“well, i got Dwight annoyed to the point he went to Michael to complain about me again then Michael told him to go to Toby, who wouldn’t let him file a complaint, then he came back just made of rage… so i’d say it was a successful day.”

you smiled, “well, lets get goin’, bye, Michael!”

“bye bye, catch ya tomorrow, Jim, (y/n)”

you rode down in the elevator and walked out into the parking lot and to your car.

“okay, so who’s gonna be driving back home?” Jim asked.

“rock, paper, scissors?”

“okie dokie, let’s go,”

“rock, paper, scissors, shoot.”

“damn, i didn’t wanna drive,” you said while slumping your shoulders

“ahh, too bad, maybe you should practice your skills, cause clearly, as stated before, perhaps i’m better than you, just perhaps.”

you both got in the car and you put the car in the ignition and backed out and started the drive back to your house.

you parked the car out in the drive way.

you both walked hand-in-hand up to the front door. as you got in the house you took off your coats.

“so what do you wanna do you want to do for dinner?” you asked/

“pizza?”

“sounds like a plan.”

#the office #jim halpert #the office imagine #jim halpert imagine #michael scott #imagine #idk mate #andy bernard #nard dog #the office us #the office one shot #jim halpert x reader

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multiple-nerdery · 7 years

Note

even numbers?

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? It’s happened, but its rare.

4: Do you find it easy to trust others? Trust is a cryptic.

8: Are you close with your dad? eh. Not less than many people, but he can be an annoyance.

10: What are you listening to? A coworker practice piano

12:Do you like hickeys? Take a look at my neck rn and ask that again (the answer is yes. y’all should see it it’s extensive)

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Not sure if continuously, but like, there’s someone who often does.

16: Do you always answer your texts? no

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? This morning if texting counts.

20:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? This bed is big and empty.

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? Eh.

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? Erin, a little. Also I wish I talked to Danny more I want to hang out with him once before I leave forever.

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? It’s crimson. The decemberists.

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? Well someone has blocked me, but I’m not sure if it counts as ignoring if we hadn’t talked for a while anyway. Also another person kind of.

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? liSTEn. I honest to fkn god don’t know. I haven’t seen it happen too much

32: Are you mad at anyone? Nah

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 19? I’m pretty sure.

36:Do you have any summer plans yet? Road Trip starting 2 June hang out w/me other friends while u still can!!!

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? I am keeping literally nothing from my best friend. Unless she wants to know random things about my past past that I haven’t thought of, or details that I haven’t brought up about things she already knows about.

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Actually a little. It was a long enough while ago now to where I don’t have as much a problem with it.

42: Are you available? I... I don’t know? (y’all shoulda asked 43 b/c it would be funny).

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? Nose ring?

46:Do you regret anything? See #40

48: Did you ever lose a best friend? Lose as in stop being friends? Yeah but it was for the best. Lose as in they died? no.

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? I don’t think I have romantic feelings for anyone. I’m trying to avoid thinking about romance seriously until I matriculate into College.

52:Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? ...yes? Is this even a question for me?

54: Did you get any compliments today? Long time drum student expressed sadness that I was leaving soon, which made me cry a little.

56: Do you own anything from other countries? Yes.

58: Where have you lived most of your life? Colorado

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? Not successfully. Like. We were going too but everyone was too tired and we just laid around instead.

62: Who do you text the most? Best friend if you count non-SMS texting, otherwise it’s my parents.

64:What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex? Like I’ve got one of those.

66:Is the last person you kissed younger than you? Yes. Almost all of the people I’ve kissed are younger than me.

68: Are you happy with where you live? It’s nice but i’m rEADY to lEAVE

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships? I’m fine with both in theory but I might be a little too jealous to actually have a poly relationship. But. Maybe? I’ve never tried it.

72:What do you most like about making out? Teeth. Pressure of someone’s lips against mine. Pressure of someone’s body against mine. Tongue. Warmth and passion. Breath. Teasing. TEASING. teeth. Really all of it. All of it is good. Oh and personal fav thing is making shitty puns and having th partner break down into laughter b/c it’s cute as hell.

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other? Usually, I would say, I start things. It can really go either way tho.

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed? Parents

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name? Nope. Not sure I could to be tbh honest.

80:Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already? Not at the tender age of 18.

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush? Not directly but it slips out. Plus I am not subtle.

84:Last time you slow danced with someone? In a romantic context it’s been like 3 or 4 years, but, like, I slowdance with best friends at school dances sometimes.

86: How can I win your heart? Fuck if I know it just happens an I’m all ‘oh shit’

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping, but barely.

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication? I mean. I guess kinda but not really. It wasn’t NO communication.

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly? I don’t have the luxury of choosing. Few people find me attractive, so I take what I can get.

94: Name four things that you wish you had! Kaoss Pad, shit tonne of samples fr music, more musical talent, enough money to be financially secure.

96:Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day? Yes. Twice. Both because of the same person to be real here.

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr? Not really I don’t think. I’ve met people randomly, found out they had a tumblr and then became mutuals with them, though.

100:Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with? Yah there’s plenty.

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out? The last time I did it, they got me high first, and then shot me down after so like... I mean I usually don’t imma be real here.But I can and have done it.

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe? only if we’re kissing or obviously joking.

106: Do you flirt a lot? Does the Pope Shit in the Woods? (yes. That’s a yes)

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012? I’ve kissed 9 people, and I hadn’t kissed anyone in 2012 so... yes.

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be? I don’t know. Any cute person who wanted to I guess. I am not desperately wishing to kiss people who I cannot kiss right now so...

112: Does someone like you currently? I dunno. Do they?

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? I haven’t really done too many flings. So idk.

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship? I’m sad all the time, regardless. But fr it really depends on the person.

#Anonymous

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viperssvenom · 7 years

Text

Slept over baby boy’s Friday and Saturday. I wasn’t supposed to sleep over but I got to and I’m so happy I did. Friday night we watched some basketball, cuddled, and talked about my blog. I also let him go through my notes and bby boy found the note with all of my dreams and he saw the 4/19/17 one. We talked about it for a while, and then he said I love you first. I almost actually cried lmao. he said it again when we were kissing and said how good it felt to say it, and I agreed, I love you so much baby boy. He also told how he knew he loved me from the day we went to Bella and when he walked me home and I called him to make sure he was okay. After talking about that, I showed him some of my blog. I told him up to the picture of us and he went like two posts past that lmaoooo. AHHH he also read my notes for him, w/ the list of why he’s the bestest and he read what I wrote about him “settling” and he told me he wasnt just “setting” for me. He told me that even if he was, he wouldn’t want to be with anyone else anyways. I don’t remember much of what else happened, but I think we just went to sleep after that. I love sleeping next to baby boy so much 😭. I love that whenever we sleep together we have to hold hands, not just one, but both hands lmao. I also love waking up next to him, it feels so nice lol. But when we woke up, the first thing we did was watch get out. The movie wasn’t as good as it was hyped up to be, and it was a lot funnier than it was scary, but it’s categorized as horror??!? but then, we watched Star Wars: ep VII with Philip, and it was a pretty good movie. Finally met bb-8 tho, he’s (??) so cute lmao. But we fell asleep during the middle of the movie :) I was out like a light lmaoo. But when I woke up we finished watching Star Wars, then we went to get Wendy’s and I swear it wasn’t raining when we were walking to Wendy’s, but it definitely was raining when we were walking back. lmao, ray if you’re reading this, I’m not taking that back! Love you thooo. We went outside for a while after he got Philip into bed. I could tell he was upset, so I just hugged him and let him talk when he was ready. I’m not going to lie, it was hard for me to listen to him because I wanted/ want to help and i didn’t know how to. For now, the most I can do is keep baby boy calm when I can, and talk to Philip and check up on him when I can. Saturday night, we went to sleep very late again lmao. baby boy gave me space to do my homework, so I worked on that until like 1 am. After that, baby boy suggested to practice dancing, and I refused bc I cannot dance lmaoo, so then he asked me what I wanted to do and I suggested a scary movie, but he didn’t want to watch one 😭😭 but then I remembered he said we would watch a Jenna marbles’ video, so thats what we did. He still didn’t laugh as much, smh. but after that, he also still didn’t want to watch a scary movie, so I asked him what he wanted to do and he said go through his tag 😭😭 but I let him anyways lmao. I told him not to comment on anything, and he did anyways lmao. basically he said he felt the same for most of what I wrote. and idk, it just feels nice to have finally shown him, but at the same time very embarrassing lmao. After he read everything, he went through his tag again and commented on stuff esp parts where I talked down on myself. But before that, I’m pretty sure we talked about him overthinking, and how he worries that maybe we’re just getting along because he’s my first and that he’s afraid someone might come along and do it better. But, I just want him to know that I love him so much for reasons I can’t explain. I just love him for him, maybe one day I will be able to explain it though, because I want him to know why I do. and there is no one on this earth that I would rather be with, spend my weekends with, walk around town for closed ice cream shops, FaceTime late at night, and sleep next to. After talking about his insecurities, we talked about mine, most importantly my stomach. He told me my body is beautiful, and I know he thinks that and wants me to remember that, and I will remember that, but I want to be able to accept my body without needing other people’s opinions about it and needing other people to compliment me for me to feel good about myself. Bc I was sitting facing him, he laid me down and pulled my shirt up to show me that my stomach was literally nothing, I still don’t feel like it’s nothing, but I have been feeling better about it since. Also, he had his hand on my stomach when he said it, and it felt nice. I love whenever he puts his hands on my stomach or my back, it just feels really nice lmaoo. but then after that we both agreed not to talk about poopy stuff anymore so he suggested dancing again and I told him I would dance if it was on the couch, so we danced while sitting on the couch lmaooo. he let me play my music so I played some songs off of digital druglord, ballerina by belly, some of his songs of choice, and then cherry hill by russ 👀😜 LMAO. towards the end of the song we started to kiss and then it got pretty intense (in a good way). he felt my boobs and kept asking me if it was okay and I told him yes everytime, but he was still nervous lmao. At first it did feel weird bc it was new for the both of us lmaooo. but after a while I got used to it and it felt nice, mostly bc I love having his hands on me. he told me like twice to move my hands lmaoooooo, I didnt want to move them because I didnt want to let go of him lmao. but he laid me down a few times and each time he did, I could feel how fast his heart was beating, I was going to point it out but I didnt because I didnt want to ruin the moment, plus I love listening to his heart beat, esp when we’re just chilling. But anywayss, yeah so we were getting pretty into it and at one point he lifted up my shirt and asked me if it was okay, I said yes and then he proceeded to kiss my boobs lol, it was nice but also awkward, so we just laughed it out lmao. but thats basically what we did for like 45 minutes lmaoo. During that time though, he also kept asking me how far and I didnt know what to say, and I still dont lmao, but he said that sex was not an option and honestly I am relieved he clarified that lmao. But after that, I sat on his lap again and then we talked about how we might not get that kind of chance again because its going to be harder to slip away and sleep over his house once ate is outtie :(. But then we went to sleep, and all I can remember is laying on top of him and then falling asleep like that and then sometime in between that switching back to our normal position lmao. Last night when we were talking about consent and everything, he told me how he wanted to be transparent about everything between us, and I appreciate it so much. like he’s not afraid to talk about anything with me, and I wish it was as easy for me to talk to him about things as it is for him to talk to me. Also bby boy said how he thinks there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, regarding his tag, but uhhh it’s pretty corny sooo yaah also, he commented on the post where I said he is out of my league and told me it was the other way around, but false because he’s too lovely he also said how he’s considered dating me even before Matt’s party, but like I can’t imagine why before Matt’s party bc I don’t think id ever really spent time with him before then

On Sunday morning though, I woke up to him holding my face and also felt him trying to hold my hands. I also love when he does that because I love knowing he’s there even if I am already laying down next to him. he asked me what the best part of waking up was and I said I don’t know and he said waking up next to me 😭😭😭 I don’t remember what else happened but I remember him asking to send himself some posts so I let him and he said that he’d consider starting to write stuff too. When he was going through my blog, he saw the post about the phone call from when we went to the diner, and he said how he did say “love you” 😭😭 ALSO HE COMMENTED ON THE POST WHERE I SAID HIS VOICE IS SEXY LMAOO and then teased me about the abs post, boy I should have never posted it lmaooo. but then we chilled for a little bit, and watched one punch man, and I got hungry before we were supposed to leave so I asked to eat and we made lo mein, and ah the asian jokes will never get old lmaoo. but we ate and watched some more Star Wars. while we were eating though I saw him picking at his thumb and I saw how bad it was (the worst I have seen it yet) and I got worried and tried to get him to stop but he said he does it whenever he’s stressed, so I left him to it for a little bit, but then he kept picking at it more and I got upset and tried not to stress but got really sad when he said it was time to go home, I don’t know why but those words just triggered something to make me really sad, not about going home but more of leaving baby boy. he pulled me into the kitchen and I couldn’t pull myself to tell him what was on my mind. I told him we should start going, but he said he wasn’t moving until I told him so we just stood there in each other’s arms for a while. and I tried to go into the living room again, but he sat down and pulled me to him so we just stayed there for a while again. But I still couldn’t tell him, so I went into the living room and I got my stuff ready and put the dishes in the sink and walked over to baby boy again. He got up tho bc I tried to walk away again and told him that it was nothing, but then he told me that I was killing him by not telling him and that hurt me a little so I hugged him and he let me write out what was bothering me, which was his thumb and how it just felt like a minor form of self harm to me. But he told me that it was nothing to worry about and how its been like that since he could remember, but it still worries me. after we got that over with though, we starting walking to my house. I still think my way is faster but imma let bby boy rock lmaoo. but we got to mcquillan and I still didnt want to leave him but he’s going to be outtie at the end of this week and I will get to see him on Friday so I feel a little better about that. but that was my weekend, pretty much a rollercoaster of everything lmao.

oo also, he also pointed out how I called him baby boy on my posts even before we established it lmaoooo oops also there was a point before we talked about our insecurities where we talked about uuuuhhhhhhhhhh (forgotti what I was going to say) oo, but we do pretty much have our handshake down tho, its litttyy also going through his phone was really nice. to see that he saves legit every picture he takes of me/ we take together lmao he said he could tell I was dreaming, but honestly I can’t remember lmaooo walked me home, when I got home, I jumped into bed and hugged my body pillow. closed my eyes for a few and thought I was still at baby boys :/ he also plays with my earrings, I don’t know why or how but it makes me happy lmao Also I love looking into his eyes just bc their beautiful lmao ahhhh we also talked about college difficulties, like how its going to be a lot harder to see each other but he said we would figure it out and said he’d even take the train for me :// also every time I say “ow” he apologizes even tho like he knows he only “hit” me lightly, idk why but I think its funny lmao he’s only “thi” lmaooo also baby boy wrote his own <3 lol i shall go into further detail in other post, maybeee…. baby boy also made sure that we didnt go to sleep without saying I love you to each other <3 after crying about myself baby boy kissed me and I told him how he had just kissed snot and idk it was just really cute because he would literally do anything/ risk anything just to kiss me when he can lmao also there was a point when ray walked downstairs shirtless and I looked up and it was awkward bc he just goes “hey” and was like “hi” but in my head I was going “asdfghjjk oooo dsddyy ???!!!!!!! 👀👀” LMFAOOO Im going to get teased about this too when he reads this 😭 baby boy also pointed out the old spice post lmfaooo. And then he also pointed out the “you feel like home” post and when we were hugging, he said “this is home” 😢😢😢😢😢 after we told each other I love you, baby boy was like if I had known this all along I would have checked your phone a long time ago 😭

I love you so so much baby boy

#p #r #5/5-7/17 #long post #:)#date

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asdgkjlasfdjgkl · 8 years

Note

all numbers on the 'send me numbers' meme

Oh jeeze annon!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My gf!

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Mmm, it depends on the person? Once i get to know someone, im out going, but if its a new person, im rlly shy tbh,,,

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My gf,,, evry day,,,

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Idk? I hope I am,,, but a lot of people don’t like me,, so idk?

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I’m like,,, 2,,, but if I were drunk,,, i hope so???

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Gals :9

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I hope so!!!! I’m not planning on breaking up with my gf any time soon!!

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

thts a bit hetero but,,, the mcelroy bros bc im listening to taz rn :/

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

From a sceintific perspective nope, but like,, from a uhm,,, more,, not,, scientific perspective,,, ive never rlly talked about it but,, im assuming so???

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Mmmm idk?? I dont talk /deeply/ to a lot of people but it might be my gf?

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

‘Np!!!’

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Boombayah - Blackpink

The 7th Sense - Nct U

Candy Store - Heathers

Russian Roulette - Red Velvet

Bomb - Ravi

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes yes yes ye s y es p leas e

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

def. luck, but not miracles?? idk is tht weird?

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I got accepted to the school im goin to now!! so thts cool!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

anon imma confess somethin rlly quick,,

i havent had my first kiss,,,

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Yea for sure! I mean, if space is infinitely big, wouldnt it be weird if we were the only ones out there??

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

i can not talk to the green villan chick from kim possible so nope lamo

19. Do you like bubble baths?

yea!! its rlly fun and relaxing

20. Do you like your neighbors?

the only neighbors i know are the ones who are crack heads and who had someone die in their home somehow?? so imma go with no

21. What are you bad habits?

Biting my lips, mumbling, self-isolation, ect ect

22. Where would you like to travel?

i wouldnt probs?? other time periods are more aesthetic, but more misogynistic and homophobic so,,,

23. Do you have trust issues?

I dont think so?? probs not tbh,,

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

s l e e p

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

my shoulders,, theyre rlly broad for a gal so a lot of clothes dont fit me right,,

26. What do you do when you wake up?

suffer

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

nope?? i mean, im v v v v v pale so i probs should be a bit darker for health reasons, but ive never rlly had issues with is before??

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

my gf and besties

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

i only have one and nope

30. Do you ever want to get married?

it depends on what my partner wants? i dont specifically want to and i dont specifically dont want to so itll be up 2 who ever im dating at the time

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

barely. it has a hard time staying up some times

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

bdkhj what the fuck im not answering that im 2 years o l d

33. Spell your name with your chin.

fgZg,klf

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

yep! basketball and soccer!

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV. I barely watch it anyways

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

mm yea

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

i usually try to think of a story??

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

my current gf tbh

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

amazon lmao

40. What do you want to do after high school?

idk yet?? rn im thinking an english teacher in china :0

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

depends on what they did

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

nothin rlly?? Im just usually lost in thought??

43. Do you smile at strangers?

i try to!

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

s p a c e

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

the thought of seein my gf at school ;)

46. What are you paranoid about?

my report card,,,

47. Have you ever been high?

yea but it WASNT MY FAULT. I WAS GIVEN A WEED BROWNIE WITH OUT MY CONSENT OKAY??

48. Have you ever been drunk?

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

no??

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

i think it was my gf’s brown hoodie?

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

uhm,,, na? sometime i wish we were in a dif financial situation, but thts about it?

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

my shoulder width??

53. Favourite makeup brand?

i dont,,, wear make up,,,,

54. Favourite store?

amazon :9

55. Favourite blog?

@genociderfukawa , @eggseggseggseggseggseggseggseggs , @succmekomaeda

56. Favourite colour?

all of the pastels!

57. Favourite food?

penne chicken Alfredo

58. Last thing you ate?

some chicken

59. First thing you ate this morning?

a fudgeround

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Yea! Iv’e won multiple sports contests, and a few art and writing competitions

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope!

62. Been arrested? For what?

na man. i have a clean record

63. Ever been in love?

I am rn!

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

i,,, havent had it yet,,,,,,

65. Are you hungry right now?

nope! i just ate dinner!

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i rlly dont have any tumblr friends??

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter obvi

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

twitter!

69. Are you watching tv right now?

nope! im listening to taz

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Emily, Jessy, Mikaia, Zoya, and Patrick!

71. Craving something? What?

,,,,cheesecake,,,,,,

72. What colour are your towels?

green and blue i think

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

7. exactly.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

do pillow pets count?

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

5 or 6?

75. Favourite animal?

owls and bunnies!!

76. What colour is your underwear?

rn?,,,,,,,,, neon pink ://p

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

triple chocolate chunk and tht kinda bull shit!

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

navy blue

80. What colour pants?

also navy blue!

81. Favourite tv show?

i dont rlly watch american tv but,, channel zero is rlly good!!

82. Favourite movie?

Moana!!!!

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls 1

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

ive never seen 21 jump street

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

idk?? the main bitch

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory!

87. First person you talked to today?

my gf!

88. Last person you talked to today?

my dad i think??

89. Name a person you hate?

mm a few kids in my grade and the current potus and staff

90. Name a person you love?

my gf!! i luv her lots

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

na. im p chill rn

92. In a fight with someone?

not tht i know of?

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

2 or 3 pairs

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

3 of 4?? idek

95. Last movie you watched?

a shitty movie for my history class

96. Favourite actress?

i dont have one?

97. Favourite actor?

Lin Manuel Miranda!

98. Do you tan a lot?

nope. i just fukin,, burn like a hellfire

99. Have any pets?

3 cats and a dog!

100. How are you feeling?

pretty cool i guess?

101. Do you type fast?

depends? mostly ya!

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

oh fuck yes

103. Can you spell well?

no!! my spelling is shit tbh

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

no particuarly?

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

yep!

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

i might have?? im,, not sure honetly,,

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yea! i used to ride rlly well!

108. What should you be doing?

listen here anon i actually did my fukin work 4 once

109. Is something irritating you right now?

just my headache?

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

oh yea

111. Do you have trust issues?

this is a repeat? i answered it earlier lmao

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Im not sure?

113. What was your childhood nickname?

tay

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yea!

115. Do you play the Wii?

mm i have a wii u and switch, but no wii anymore :’(

116. Are you listening to music right now?

nope! im listening to taz!

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

hell yea!

118. Do you like Chinese food?

fuck yes!!!!

119. Favourite book?

the legend series by Marie Lu

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

4 sure

121. Are you mean?

god i hope not

122. Is cheating ever okay?

no! all partners should consent and agree on all boundaries in a relationship!! the members of that relationship need to respect that!!

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

hell na

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

mmhmm!

125. Do you believe in true love?

im in it rn baby

126. Are you currently bored?

yea,,,

127. What makes you happy?

music i like, my gf, spending tie with friends, and not stressing out about things!

128. Would you change your name?

nope! i like my name

129. What your zodiac sign?

pisces!

130. Do you like subway?

yasss!

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

he knos im fukin gay as shit

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

i answered this earlier too

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

‘ringdingdong ringdingdong ding, rigiding rigi ding ding ding ....... fantastic fantastic fantastic fantastic elastic elastic elastic elastic’

134. Can you count to one million?

i could but im not dooin that shit

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

‘im straight’

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

137. How tall are you?

5′3 3/4″

138. Curly or Straight hair?

like what i have?? its super curly!

139. Brunette or Blonde?

im a brunette!

140. Summer or Winter?

mmm winter!

141. Night or Day?

night, cause i can sleep with out regrets

142. Favourite month?

February!

143. Are you a vegetarian?

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

dark!

145. Tea or Coffee?

mm neither :p

146. Was today a good day?

i would say so yea

147. Mars or Snickers?

m ars??

148. What’s your favourite quote?

‘dibidibidis my name is minho’

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

yea!

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

‘Burr: Theres nothing rich folks love more’

(its hamilton the revolution)

------

well this was fun lmao

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trippz2ill2ace8itout · 5 years

Text

🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙||HOPE #4; ||You Know My Name, Not My Story||🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙

🌙🌙🔥🔥facebook, this is part of my life story, this is in the past. Im in no way a harm to myself and others. Thank u. PART FOUR!!!🌟🌟🥀🥀 *SatanslashGod; im gonna pray, i think God is calling me to fufill His duties. I was homeless for the 13th time. I walked the streets for days. I got possessed by God. And i acted out bizarrely insanely dangerously, abnormally, like an animal. I stayed up for 3 days straight. And taking extra of my medication. I had a full blown physcotic break. I didnt kniw my name. I was talking like a baby, waving my arms in the air. I lost all my senses. I forgot how to function. I got admitted to Loma Linda ER, and they took me in right away. I was like nonresponsive. I was an animal, a vegetable. I was dysfunctional. And then they transferred me to Loma Linda BMC. Mental hospital. While i was there i acted out. They put me on concervertaship, i had a hearing, and i saw the judge. It was my over 200th mental hospital. And the judge almost sent me to an institution but i lied, and i got off. Ive been concervered over 5 times. I gor diagnosed with ovee 10+ mental illnesses. Critically/Clinically Insane && The Most High Maitnence Case In The System. When i was 12 i sold my soul to the devil. And i became a bully. And multiple places and people told me that i had a serial killers personality, that she looked into my eyes and said "theres nothing in there" "your untreatable" "your too high maintenance for us to treat" my therapist Thea said ahe waz one step away from conserving me and taken to a state institution. And she said they probably couldn't treat me. Ive been to 215 mental hospitals. And ive been thru it all. I cant tell the difference between God and satan, when i get commands i cant tell the difference. *Richard Enxxellia/Puppoi/Three 7s/SeventyThree6's/UglyBitterSky; Richard gives me paranormal activities. Qualities, which he possesses me to act out dangerously. One example is when i get homoscidal. He decodes the devil into me. He moves certain objects and living things to make me use my 10 senses. As i dissociate to many alternate universes. The darkness takes over me. He decodes demons into me. Decoding me, i have codes, we all do. In NXSP. Rascal/Raskal is my therapy dog. Whos dying of cancer. I hallucinate him everywhere. But i see him as if he was real. And people tell me itz all in my head. Like i have a full blown convo or im playing with him. But my mom and bro tells me hes not in here. Three 7s is where my mania gets out of control. Like i feel like im famous, for the right or wrong reasons. Its all a delusional world. I go out of reality now 100% of the day. And thats not normal. *Bad Mommy-Good Mommy/Duplicates Of People/TwentyStepsForward; __::::TSF was a demon that Johnny hated, but somehow was connected too. So after Me/I, Izzy "Ace 8/Spizey/MsSweetInsanityyx" (Me/I/M3/iii) killed him. The reason why Lily "Dancing Fire" was so mad at Izzy was because TSF turned to ashes after Johnny died, (was killed by Izzy) and that made Lily wanna send Izzy to The Ends more, as she tried to follow thru with that plan, but failed. Ever since i killed Johnny, Dancing Fire has become a bigger and more dangerous demon in my head, becoming worse and telling Alvaro to possess me more. So Alvaro && Dancing Fire have gotten worse. After i killed Johnny. __::::Bad Mommy/Good Mommy take toll of my mind. When i was in my drug and alcohol addiction, Bad Mommy got worse, she wears a scar on her face. She abuses me, (in real life she did abuse me mentally and very rarely physically, but this was before i got back into my addiction) after i tried to come home after she kicked me out *again* (while i was homeless for the 13th time) i was on cocaine, meth. Acid, pills, heroin etc etc. I came home and she slammed me against a wall, and called me a whore. Then she "switched" and forgot about it later, it scared me, and she won my trust and forgiveness back by giving me brownies. This went on for awhile. In reality tho. She did call me really offensive names. But she didn't slam me against the wall. I was scared of her and on multiple occasions didn't wanna come home from school. Anyways i dont wanna elaborate on that. __::::Duplicates of people really fucked me up. This waz after me coming home in 2018. I saw duplicates of people i do and don't know. And it scares me. Now it only happens with my therapy dog, Rascal *Cones/Wesley "Presley" Garcia/Mr.OutOfDate; |__::::????::::__| XX_XX __::::????::::__ | | Cones;____Guide me in the right direction. Master Cone. Controlling your slaves and servants. Your fucking with my head, your make me follow your path, as u soar strangely thru the air. Trying to show me a new reality, the Cones are ahead of the other flying objects. Its like your all dancing around me and my reality of a dreamland, a dreamland like reality. You opened my eyes, but also made me more insane. Therez all sorts of shapes, dancing strangly. You made me dissociate more than usual. As i traveled all the universes and galaxies. You did both harm and good for me. Thank u, for opening up my eyes, as im developing my 11th sense, i already have 10 senses. You traumatized me and u saved me. Thank u. Cones and Objects. For becoming a part of me. Cones are non living transitioning to living. But only i can see them. I appreciate you all. All the different breeds and kinds of objects. Theres millions of them. And im glad we crossed paths. I love u my Cone Family🖤🥀🌙🔥 Wesley "Presley" Garcia;____ Dear, Wesley/Presley, Did u Wanna get away, why did u make Johnny so bad, i know u were his master. And i know after u died, Johnny took your place, but i had to kill him, he tortured me and all of NXSP, i just wanna ask, why are u so fucked up? We did nothing to deserve this torture. Thank u for trying ur best with Johnny, but i just wanna let u know, even if u tortured us (made Johnny do it) im still here for u, cus i jyst found out that you didn't torture Johnny. Lily lied. And i should have known. Johnny tortured u, and no one knew, so i apologize for blaming u. Johnny also made up stories about you, that u tortured him. And i just put the pieces together and i realized Johnny started all this. NOT ERIN! Lily is just as bad as Johnny and Alvaro. All 3 of them fucked and traumatized all of us. If there is anything i can do to help. Plz let me know. I wanna save NXSP. Not destroy it. I know ur dead, but i miss u. And i realized you tried to pull/put NXSP back together, now its just pure darkness. Do u mind (&& u dont have to if ur not comfortable with it) send us angels to protect us from harm. Like what Constance used to do. I love u hun, keep fighting, soldier, Sincerely, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez/Ace 8/Spizey/Ms_SweetInsanityyx && im also speaking for my family at NXSP. I love u. Hope u get this message.🖤🥀🌙🔥 Mr.OutOfDate;____ You give me reoccurring dreams and visions of my mom dying. && u made me live thru hell itself. Literally, and u bring me closer and more content with death. I feel like im dying everyday, like literally. I feel my body being tortured by my demons and Satan. Who ive met thru traveling the galaxies and universes. Why? I wanna live, not die. Heres a lil thing i wrote about this. "I wanna become content with living But i feel closer that death My mom is the only thing i have Without her i would already be dead I check her breathing while shes asleep on her bed I just wanna be dead No words left unsaid I feel closer to death everyday And i feel myself fading away Still happens to this day Losing levels of sanity more each day Losing my mind and i cant stay awake Ive been thru hell and torture Trauma, pain and darkness Do we know all the answers? Do we all get possessed by the devil Do we all lose control by the hour Dont die Mom Plz dont go Your my sun Plz dont go Your my reason I sold my soul to the darkness But i cant let my mom go Its hard to explain the love i have for her Its easy to explain why i love her Im becoming closer to death Got this fire in my heart Got this fire in my soul Im not whole, im not ok Maybe ill be ok one day I love u mom, Mr.OutOfDate, Youve come way to date You brought me and made me live thru hell Ive lived thru hell itself. Goodnight my beautiful sunshine Aint nobody dying tonight."-written by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez Were all strangers to ourselves. Its hard to say i love myself, cuz im broken and damaged. I love u mom, ur my everything. Your my sunshine my sunrise and my nighttime. If u die i die. Goodnight. 🖤🥀🌙🔥 *Visions&Hallucinations of Past&Future/ObjectsHavingAForceOnMe; Dancing Fire cordinates it. All 100% of my past flashes in my head at random times. And i cant control it. Id be in a completely different reality. And i use all my 10 intensitied senses for every part of my past. Like i was there again. CODE 203 J REPEAT CODE 203 THIS IS SYSTEM SHUTDOWN X FOLLOW ALL GIVEN PROCATIONS. Lily you need to get the fuck outta here with that shit. SHUT UP CHARLOTTE! Homie, you better back up. Im talking to u, Lily. Well Charlotte imma show Izzy her past right now. OHHHH IS THAT IT LILY THATS WHY UR SHUTTING EVERYTHING DOWN! I miss u Lily, the old u.. Im not feeling to good Lily. Im sorry Lily. IM DONE! When objects look at me, its like im looking in a mirror, and there using codes to take over me && they scare me, for example i can look at a door knob, a window. A sky, a cieling, and i feel like it has a force on me. Like there trying to get inside me. Like i see a chair and i scream cuz its looking right thru me. Heres a lil poem i wrote: "Dont talk to the ceiling It might talk back Taking over me Can u see me Can u hear me Do u get that peculiar feeling Of all the hell im dealing Leave me alone I dont have a stable home I look into ur eyes The pretty silver sky Its looking right thru me Its posessing oh its controlling me Got that strange feeling Are these the Aces that im dealing Your looking right thru me Dont listen to the walls They dont think when they talk Dont run away from fear Dont draw the devil nearer There decoding you my darling There breathing how non living objects should Cuz non living things are just as important As living things, your being cornered Breathe my friend In and out Breathe and shout Theres no way out There surrounding me Im inside my TV This is all a game And i declare you insane Smiles on everybody Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors Smiles on my little baby Nobody needs to ser what goes on behind closed doors. Take control dont let it control you Why are u so blue? Are u in the flumes Ace 8 Break It Down Theres No Way Out Im In The Dark Now Im Just Hellbound The more u try to fight it The stronger it gets I would take my life to save yours Trauma occurring 24/7 From 2001-2018 Over 10+ mental illnesses They say your insane Well they did diagnose me critically/clinically insane So play your game, Satan Torture me, im waiting So play your Ace, Aint nobody dying tonight Not in this place Your known as the girl with no face Your pointing me towards my dog days Who am i, good question Fuck me torture me, my new obsession Im used to hell and trauma I know rock bottom Im used to pain and darkness Were all in it for the torture There controlling me There possessing me They arnt living Sonetimes non living things Are more alive than the living Smiles on, everybody Shut them system down Smiles on, everyone Were not going down without a fight."-written by me. Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez Sometimes non living are more living than the living. I deal with this everyday. Stay strong yo. *Flying Objects/DemonsPosssesingMe; **||||** Flying Objects: objects that are non living but act like there living. All non living objects float around and talk and act like the living. Like the taxis, or the furniture or anything thats an object. Starts using there senses, they have more senses than us. Heres a lil thing i wrote about that.;;;; "You take control Sweet little ceiling A dangerous feeling Are we really dreaming Your magic head got me screaming You are demons inside of objects As the tables fly As the staircase sighs Its like a labrynth Were all sentenced Were in a fantasy This isnt reality Wake up. Wake up Torture me plz dont stop Wake up wake up All non living things are living All non living things are living Dont be drifting Dont be living Cuz ur not living No not at all They all have faces They all have bodies They all have senses Dont be scared my love Dont runaway my love Im an animal in a cage I got blinding rage I got bad and good days The chairs are all wrong Smiley is coming back Am i wrong? Am i right? Police on the search for me There not gonna catch me These flying objects are very living They will protect me They will seduce me. Flying objects flying round They dont make a single sound Take me far away"-written by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez **||||** Demons Possessing Me; ??????Different Species if demons come and literallt possess me. I start raising hell ans becoming the demon thats controlling my body. I literally "snap into DeZanity" which is 100% worse than Insanity. I become dangerous, act out strangely unsafely dangerously etc etc. I become worse than satan himself. I walk thru and live thru hell itself. Ive seen hell. Ive literally lived in hell. I become darkness itself. Heres a lil thing i wrote about this; "Falling down to rock bottom Lived inside hell, oh pardon? Did u possess me last night the devil fucked me in the dark light I dont kno what to do Why u feelin blue, My darling my darling They say im acting strange Out of character as u say They say i went completely insane Out of character as they say The darkness controlling me Demons possessing me Im dangerous, im dangerous This aint fun Im always on the run I snapped into DeZanity I lost all my senses Ive died many times Im just fucking senseless As all the species of demons Come inside of me Im a dysfunctional animal Im a dysfunctional animal Who am i, my mind is worse than hell itself The devil puts himself up on the shelf Hes not powerful enough to enter Tryna make these dreams centered Tryna make reality my bitch Dont try. Do, win lose Dont do. Try, lose win Either way. There out to get me Lets change the codes Weve already killed ourselves. So far away from home Im feeling so alone. Im feeling cold Flying around the universes There aint no reverses Imma tell u a secret I am more powerful than the devil Are u gonna run and hide Were committing suicide My name is Izzy, Ace 8 My name is Tyler, Ms_SweetInsanityyx Lets fuck this place up Im here to save and help all non living And living things, im here to save the world I help, care. Love support be there Im by there side no matter what When u fall ill lift u up I help everyone and everything obsessivly Im on the battlefield fighting by yo side Im not in the sidelines Lets get ready to snap back Izzys out for the attack. Goodnight, Drearyyx"-written by me, Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez _____________||||____________ *Dancing Rooms/Past In Vivid Movie-LikeForm; ||||_||||Dancing Rooms; dont talk to the ceiling it might talk back. Im in a dreamscape, traveling thru the galaxies, doors all over the walls, all the stair cases are going in many directions, they keep moving. They dont stop. Each room is something new. Im walking over the stars 🌟 , i see all of these different galaxies. Were midnight racing. Its like im in a Lo-Fi setting. All my dreams turned reality. Im in a wild place. Im soaring thru space. U ever seen the movie Labrynth with David Bowie its like that. I feel so free, racing cars over the stars. Im not in reality. Im escaping. Its like im flying, always flying. Im traveling everywhere. You saved me. Dancing Room. Its like a good trip. Like were in a movie, many kinds of movies. Its a new reality. Im escaping earth. So many colors. So much to see. Im sitting on the sunrise. I turn on Lo-Fi radio (the app is purple) and i do meditation to it. I go to extraordinary places. Thank u Dancing Rooms. ||||_|||| Past In Vivid Like Movie Form; so u kno ive had brutal trauma. Hell, pain, torture, bad experiences occurring 24/7 since 2001-2018, and u read part of my life story. Well theres sone parts u dont kknow, Dancing Fire flashes my past in more than just flashbacksx its in vivid movie form frok beginning to end. But its everyday. And even when im happy i get reminded that it constantly, Dancing Fire aka Lileth "Lily" Ramos-Garcia. Tortures me with it. The more i try to escape it or "put my past in the past" i get reminded of it everyday, from beginning to end. Its not ok. And i also get nightmares everynight that makes me not wanna sleep. Like i could be doing my thing, and out of fucking nowhere here comes the show (vivid movie like form of my past from beginning to end) and i cant escape. People say "leave ur past in the past" uh how am i supposed to do that if i get constantly reminded of it every day. ?? But yet i help care love support fix save be there for everyone and everything obsessivly. And i dont stop. I love helping others, i wanna save and fix all non living and living things. That's what keeps me alive. Someone asks me "what's wrong Izzy. U havent been yourself lately?" i tell them an excuse like "im fine" so imagine this: _Having over 10+ Mental illnesses _Having trauma occurred 24/7 from 2001-2018 _being constantly reminded of ur past daily _having 22+ mental breakdowns a day, every day _trying to remain sane _dealing with the present. _never escaping the past _everything combined together times 10+ working all at once _and trying to describe what ur feeling/whats going on/what's wrong, cus u don't know how to explain it _Constantly having demons fuck with ur head _hating myself _having an eating disorder/autism _not kniwing what ur feeling _feeling unwanted and unloved _being tortured, abused, raped most of ur life _not knowing who u are _having no home from 2011-2018 _having no hope _having severe brain damage _being critically/clinically insane _Been thru/experienced mostly every traumatic thing _not wanting pity sympathy or attention _after 2018, the hell never ending, getting worse mentally physically and emotionally _being insecure _dealing and drug addiction/alcoholism (im over 1 year sober _being the blacksheep _being LBGTQ _not wanting to date ever again/hating sex _cant go in public without breaking down _dissociating 99% of the day _explaining yourself to people _my mom being sick. My dogs having cancer _my mom and bro not wanting me home _thinking ur worth nothing _being a prisoner to ur mind _not knowing who u are _Alvaro possessing me _not feeling like ur in ur body/being possessed _paranioa/objects having a force on u _being confused/delusional _everything youve read/heard in all of this story applied to u everyday _acting like ur okay _trying to save. Fix. Love. Care, support, help, be there for everyone and everything obsessivly but not feeling like its good enough _missing my unbio son, Anthony everyday. _not wanting to cry or show emotions _avoiding feeling feelings/being so used to the bad that u cant process the good _not processing things _wanting to end ur life on a daily basis _wanting to self harm/act out on a daily basis _just hating yourself/having trust and anger issues _the rest i cant explain 🌟🔥🌙Hey this is Izzy here, thank u for breathing, for being alive. Im proud of u. Thank u for coming to my TED TALK.🌙🔥 **Another One Of My Suicide Attempts (i was on the online news); My brother and i got into a huge fight. Cuz we were playing pranks on eachother, but around that time i got raped *again* my mom still isnt aware that it. My whole past flashed by in my head vividly. My mom and brother told me they didnt want me home. And i felt like a failure. I was walking on the side of the street and the highway. I self harmed really bad. But i got home and everything else was a blackout. I had 33 breakdowns that day. We were at Farmer Boys. And my mom kept asking if i was "okay" i told her "yes" but i was lying. I had dreams of my granpa dying (hes deceas3d now) and my monmm dying. My mental health got 10 times worse. Leading up to my attempt i got raped again* by 10 people one by one torture, abusing and raping me for about 2 hours. I still havnt told my mom. I came home and i tried to have a "silent suicide attempt" i took 2 bottles of Gabapentin (one of my medications, this ones for anxiety) and they were big bottles, and i took every pill in there. I started fading out and u heard a voice in my head, trying to stop me from dying. I called 911 and told them that i overdosed, they got all my info and told me to stay where i was. There were fire trucks. Ambulances, police cars. They made me drink Charcoal, instead of pumping my stomach. My mom came out && was talking to the officers/AMRs etc. They did there normal procedures and transported me to Corona Regional Medical Center (aka CRC). I had a sitter, or a 1:1, they did their hospital procedures and i got transferred to "The Willows Mental Hospital" (Still CRC but not emergency, just psychiatric) my brother told me i was on the Corona Newspage, descibing my attempt. But not using any names of people. But it showed my house. I stayed on a 52/50 hold. I cant remember clearly exactly how the whole thing happened but im doing the best i can. ________________________________________ 🌙🔥🌟🥀hey its izzy, if anyone needs a prayer lemme know ok. This is something i just wrote, its from my heart. Stay True!!! Keep sharing your story, cuz it matters you matter your life matters YOU MATTER. , thank u for breathing, for continuing and being alive. Ur all Angels, you are a work of art, you just gotta put the peices together. U gotta creaate your art, your story. It doesnt end here tho. Id give my life if it meant all of u become painless, im not a saint. I just wanna be the person to save care love be there for living and non living things. Yea ive had trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018, but its 2020 in a month. All i want for Christmas is for all yall to be safe and happy. If any of yall need anything, ill be here. Ill be fighting by ur side on the battlegrounds. Im sitting here crying cuz idk how to fix this world. Im proud of u. Even if u didnt wanna be alive today, youve made it another day and youve made it this far. Your doing the best u can. You all make me wanna cry cuz of how amazing u are and how beautiful ur soul is. If ur thinking about taking ur life tonight trust me ive been there. Put ur hand on ur heart, feel that? That's purpose. Your life is a mess right now. Keep looking up. Your someones reason. I wanna save ur life tonight/today. Thank u for ecsisting. I know its dark out, you grow stronger every second. Take ur time. Slow down, take a moment or a few moments. Relax ur whole body, ur gonna be ok. Ur gonna keep fighting. For everyone but mainly for yourself. Im proud of u. Trust me im far from ok. But id do anything if it means everyone else can ok. U are a broken soul. But we will fight, we will win. We will stick together x im here for all yall. Dont go. Its not ur time. I kno it may seem cliche. Bit ur voice matters ur story matters your message matters. YOU MATTER YOUR IMPORTANT YOU HAVE A PURPOSE YOUR ENOUGH YOUR WORTH IT. ! Thank u for being u. This is Izzy here. Keep fighting, soldier. Keep going. Your destiny is inside of u. I love u all. Message me if anything. Stay true stay u. Live u my warriors my angels xx----Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez (me)🖤🥀🖤🥀

0 notes

saturnsovereign · 7 years

Note

All of the asks!!!

Unusual Asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify

is your room messy or clean? mostly clean

what color are your eyes? brown almost black

do you like your name? why? eh, its weird but pretty uncommon so i don’t usually have to worry about sharing it

what is your relationship status? taken

describe your personality in 3 words or less tired gay dork

what color hair do you have? black

what kind of car do you drive? color? Rav4, dark grey

where do you shop? target

how would you describe your style? i get clothes on and try to at least look decent

favorite social media account tumblr and maybe snapchat

what size bed do you have? twin in dorms, queen at home

any siblings? 2

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? probs back in the bay area, i miss the business there

favorite snapchat filter? i like the flower crown and like those greek ones with like the shiny crowns and stuff

favorite makeup brand(s) none really

how many times a week do you shower? 5 times

favorite tv show? rn its probably Lucifer

shoe size? 7-7.5 depending on brand

how tall are you? 5′2″

sandals or sneakers? sneakers

do you go to the gym? haha no

describe your dream date a date where we don’t have to worry about anything after

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $240 but i plan on depositing 200 in the bank later

what color socks are you wearing? white

how many pillows do you sleep with? three

do you have a job? what do you do? volunteer guard instructor

how many friends do you have? i can count maybe like on 2 hands

whats the worst thing you have ever done? i hurt my gf

whats your favorite candle scent? i like cucumber melon from when we used to sell candles for a fundraiser in my elementary school

3 favorite boy names Fabian, Santiago, idk

3 favorite girl names Bella 😉, Noelle, idk

favorite actor? the only dude that comes to mind is Drew Seeley and even then he’s not my favorite

favorite actress? Katie McGrath

who is your celebrity crush? Katie McGrath

favorite movie? Beauty and the Beast, Treasure Planet, Lovestruck

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? not really anymore,

money or brains? brains, then you can figure out how to handle money

do you have a nickname? what is it? Feliz Navidad

how many times have you been to the hospital? like once unless you count yearly appointments and stuff

top 10 favorite songs DJ Got Us Fallin in Love, The Nights, Say You Won’t Let Go, etc.

do you take any medications daily? no

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) its a bit on both oily and dry in different places

what is your biggest fear? fear of abandonment

how many kids do you want? maybe 2

whats your go to hair style? half up half down

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) i mean i feel its big after living in an apartment for a while

who is your role model? dont have one tbh

what was the last compliment you received? this morning when my gf snapchatted me the usual ‘good morning beautiful’ snap

what was the last text you sent? “if you want to use additional sources you have to annotate them too 😒”

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? i came from the philippines and they don’t really have a santa there when i was little so there wasn’t really a big reveal, just played along to get presents i guess

what is your dream car? a pick up

opinion on smoking? not for me

do you go to college? yeah

what is your dream job? i wanna be a billionaire from helping people somehow

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs, i’ve lived and am living in a somewhat rural area and i like being close to them cities

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? haha yeah i’m asian ofc

do you have freckles? no

do you smile for pictures? yeah or else i just look weird

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 3,000+

have you ever peed in the woods? i can’t remember the last time i popped and squated

do you still watch cartoons? yeah

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McDonalds my dude

Favorite dipping sauce? depends on what i’m eating

what do you wear to bed? a shirt and either a pajama bottom or shorts

have you ever won a spelling bee? no

what are your hobbies? calligraphy, drumming, (knitting)

can you draw? to an extent

do you play an instrument? drums

what was the last concert you saw? none really

tea or coffee? coffee

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? starbucks

do you want to get married? yes

what is your crush’s first and last initial? ahaha BJ

are you going to change your last name when you get married? maybe get it hyphenated

what color looks best on you? dark colors for me and maybe some white thrown in there

do you miss anyone right now? yeah

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed

do you believe in ghosts? eh, yes and no

what is your biggest pet peeve? idk

last person you called` my brother bc we were trying to figure out where he went in target

favorite ice cream flavor? rocky road

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow

what shirt are you wearing? class of 2017 shirt

what is your phone background? pic of my two best friends and me during my graduation

are you outgoing or shy? shy

do you like it when people play with your hair? only like one person

do you like your neighbors? i dont know them tbh

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? morning and when i take a shower

have you ever been high? no

have you ever been drunk? nope but im curious

last thing you ate? burrito bowl

favorite lyrics right now none come to mind

summer or winter? winter

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? all?

favorite month? don’t have one

what is your zodiac sign capricorn

who was the last person you cried in front of? i was crying in front of my gf bc i saw a video of a cat that was too cute last night.

Other ask bc i didn’t know which one you were referring to but imma do it anyway

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? yeah2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? yeah3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? a while ago4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? i do it bc i like awkward5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? idk6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? i havent listened to anything today7. What exactly are you wearing right now? sweatshirt, shirt, pants8. How often do you listen to music? sometimes everyday, depends on my mood9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013? …yeah?11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? im antisocial12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? no13. What about ‘R’? no14. Can you drive a stick shift? nope15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? a bit 16. Are you going out of town soon? if you mean back home by friday yeah17. When was the last time you cried? see previous ask18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? yes19. If you could change your eye color, would you? idk i feel like any other eye color would just look weird on me20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? no21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. i have to keep writing my papers22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? when my girl does it yeah23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? no24. What are you sitting on right now? my bed25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? yeah26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? yeah27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? my gf28. Do you get a lot of colds? i get the occasional cold29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? last year?30. Does anyone hate you? idk maybe31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? no32. Do you like watching scary movies? no33. Do you want your tongue pierced? no34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? idk they’ve been pretty important to my character so35. Did you have a dream last night? i dont remember it but yeah i think so36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? a few hours ago, i texted my gf37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? idk, we’d still be in college38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? i mean i hope she does39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? idk40. Did you have a good day yesterday? …eh41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? yeah42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? yeah43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yeah44. What’s the best part about school? friends and some sense of purpose45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? yes46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? haha yeah47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? oh boy do i48. Were you single over the last summer? no49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? no, its changed drastically tbh50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? sleeping51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? no52. Are you nice to everyone? most of time i hope53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? ha yeah54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? well yeah55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? …56. Do you think you like someone? i mean yeah my gf57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? oh haha yeah58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? girls59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? yeah over a movie60. Do you hate anyone? myself61. How’s your heart? its beating62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? what happened last year before school started63. Have you ever cried over a guy? yeah64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? idk65. Are your toenails painted pink? nope66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? i don’t think so?67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? what?68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? they weren’t pants but it was a kilt69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? see above?70. How do you look right now? tired71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? yeah72. Can you commit to one person? yeah73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? no74. Have you ever felt replaced? oh yeah75. Did you wake up cranky? haha maybe bc i didn’t wanna get out of bed and face the world76. Are you a jealous person? :/77. Are relationships ever worth it? you gotta make them worth it78. Anyone you’re giving up on? i don’t think so?79. Currently wanting to see anyone? i can see people outside my window80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? college81. Last person you cried in front of? see above82. Is there someone you will never forget? my gf83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? i think so?84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? cuddling85. Are you over your past? never have been probably never will86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? well yeah87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? oh boy lord you wouldn’t want that88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? define first true love? if its my gf i’d accept her empty handed89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? yeah90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? uh they eventually disliked her after i stopped liking her91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? hopefully92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? thats weird cuz no XD93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? nope94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? yeah, it was going95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? yeah96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? the last person i texted other than my group chat is my gf and yeah i definitely find her attractive97. Who do you have texts from? my friends and family?98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? cool99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? thats weird… no XD100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? tigger101. Ever kissed under fireworks? no actually102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? yeah

#Anonymous #ask #anon #personal #message

0 notes

noahhernandez · 8 years

Text

original (April 3rd, 2013)

3 year difference (April 3rd, 2016

Difference ? (Feb 10, 2017)

3 year difference lol

1. Is this the best year of your life? tbh this year has sucked so far lol!!!!!

it is april and i have not turned up like expected

Only Feb. Things are going okay

2. What was the first thing you did when you woke up? turn on the TV and see what was on netflix

Laid in bed and contemplate whether or not to make coffee.. i did

Struggled getting out of bed for work

3. The person you like is? nobody.

my co-worker Darrell.

Kenny.

4. Is anything bothering you? The fact that my room is a disaster, my grade in Algebra 2 is a 68, and that i am not famous

The fact that my room is still a disaster and that i am dropping my biology course because it was too hard for me.

The Fact that my room remains a disaster, and that I’m constantly stressed out about school, and I’m really trying with Kenny but I’m probably too invested

5. Does anyone annoy you? A lot of people do, white people

A lot of people still annoy me

White People

6. Would you like things to go ‘back to normal’ with a certain someone? no

Angelica, Natasha, and Coby because things really were cool but it doesnt matter anymore

No.

7. What was the las,t thing you did before you went to bed last night? I was in my mom’s room with like 3 kids and some guy and i was just chillin out with them

I was laying in bed watching Family Guy

Filmed a speech for my public speaking class, finished it, submitted it, walked in on my roommates fckin on the couch, went to sleep, they fought til 530am

8. Is life good? its decent

I’m content, I have my own place, I go to school full time, I work full time, I’ve got great friends, money, a car.

Still have all those things, I’m just tired at this point

9. Do you remember who you liked on New Years? nobody.

Nobody probably wait just kidding Harry

I think I was starting to like Kenny

10. Do you still like them? nobody

I like him now

11. Do you still speak to them? nobody

Yes

12. Told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere else? my dad, but my mom and i have a good relationship and i can tell her i am snorting cocaine tonight and she will be like ’ ok be careful xo’

Does not matter anymore

i’m an adult now

13. Are you dating the last person you kissed on the lips? haha, no.

No I am not

Nope

14. Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? my cousin no she snorts cocaine

My manager no she is my favorite

I think it was Angel, and she is like one of my best friends

15. Would you go out with someone right now if they asked? what do you mean like out like lets get together or like hey im hungry wanna come with me to get wings

It really all depends on who the person is

not desperate, really depends on who the person would be

16. Three days from now will you be in a relationship? i hope not

No lol

Probably not

17. If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? they do tell me sorry fellas youre kinda ugly

Yes

18. Have you kissed anyone in the last month? no

Yes

19. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for? my back.

My back

Have not been to the doctor since.

20. Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out? i liked it but then everyone left for me a week and i thought i was going to go insane

It does not matter I am always locked in my room.

I don’t talk to anyone at home anyways

21. Would you ever kiss anyone you texted today? i havent texted anyone today

Hm yes, my co-worker Kevin, but only because he is the best looking person I have texted today

Hm maybe like 2 people ? haha

22. Do you have any bruises on you? no thank god

Cuts and burns from work

I cut myself at work today

23. How was 2011 for you? 2011 was great actually, i ended jr. high really well, and started high school really well too making friends and stuff

Same

lol

24. How late did you stay up last night and why? like 1230, and no reason

230? because after work me and my coworkers went to IHOP and then just chilled out, and I watched like TV til i fell asleep

About 530 because my roommates were fighting and I could not sleep

25. Do you ever get good morning texts from anyone? no

Kind of

26. Do you regret anything you’ve done lately? i regret um nothing

I regret nothing still

Nothing

27. What woke you up today? this sound of little Einsteins singing

My brothers gf was talking really loud for like 2 seconds

My brother waking me up and my 30 alarms

28. What makes you happy? coffee and snickers and boys

Coffee, cigarettes, friends

Coffee, boys, and friends

29. Ever kissed on a boat?

Still a no

30. Have you ever been told that you are amazing? yes

Plenty of times

I honestly dont think so tbh wait JK yes

31. Finish this sentence: The last person I kissed is… ugly?

A good guy. sorry lol

the person I currently like

32. This time last year, can you remember who you liked?let me think no

It is April, prom season for me… you know I think I was chillin’

Wowza, Darrell my co-worker at the time, he recently just moved to Ohio

33. Do you like when people play with your hair? yes

yes

34. Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? nOPE GOT SCHOOL LOL

Nope, I still got school

Nope, this time I got work

35. Waiting for something? for someone to come up and be like hello u wana be famous and rich

To get my degree, then someone come up to me and ask me if I wanna be famous and rich

To become board certified and open a private practice and someone ask me if I wanna be rich adn famous

36. Was last night terrible? nah

No, it was a good night tbh, lots of laughing with all my coworkers

Sure

37. Did you lose friends when you started dating someone? no

no, i would not let that happen

I would never let that happen

38. Are you the type of person to make people laugh? yes i am i am the class bitch ass motherfucker but they think im joking

yes

Sure

39. Don’t tell me lies, so is the last person you texted attractive? i last texted angelica and she is pretty if she tries which is rare

yes

40. Is tomorrow going to be a good day? it better be mrs honings better have passes me

no, i have school and then work right after

Work til 5. Maybe something with my friends after, but I doubt it

41. Are you missing someone?no

sure

42. Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in?no

no lol

no haha

43. Do you believe in karma? eh

not at all

Maybe a little bit now

44. Do you sleep with a fan on? omg i have too

yeah the ceiling fan and then a standing fan

Same still

45. You think anyone’s thinking about you right now? of course yes

i wonder

Probably not.

46. Is there anyone you wish you were spending time with right now? not really

yes

47. Do you go to school? imma sophomore

freshmen in college

4th semester in college.

48. Is the person you last texted single? yes

yes

technically yeS?

49. Who was driving the last time you were in a car? omg?? my mom i think

I was driving, brother in passenger seat

50. Have you ever used the word ‘rawr’ in an actual conversation?OMG NEVER IF ANYONE CAUGHT ME SAYING THAT I’D KILL MYSELF

lol no

jokingly now every once in awhile

51. Are the blinds on your window open or closed? closed

closed

Closed

52. Did you leave milk and cookies for Santa when you were little? still do lol

jewish

No i live alone now, so thats a waste of money

53. What were you doing at 11 last night? in my mom’s room with those people i stated above plus my brother

at work goofing off

Getting ready to get off work

54. What could you eat any day of the week & never get tired of? wingstop wings

sushi

Coffee

55. Is there someone you wouldn’t mind kissing right now? justin bieber???

a lot of ppl including celebrities

Shawn Mendes!!!

56. Someone knocks on your window at 5 am, what do you say? wat the fuck do u want im sleepig

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOMH

how did u get up here i live on the third floor

No i dont have a quarter

57. Would you change yourself for the person you love?no

Yes maybe ??

58. Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex? wow u guesssed completely wrong

yes

um i gonna guess sure

59. What are you supposed to be doing right now? cleaning

getting ready for work

Getting ready for bed

60. Would you have sex with the 5th person on your contacts?no

im not even going to look

It is my ex, lmao, yes I would sure

61. To who did you last give the finger to? i cant remember

my coworker Jesse

My manager, Ware

62. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? on someone elses

uh no

No.

63. Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? brianna sam angelica michelle and others yes

the majority of my coworkers and all of my friends i still have

Angel, Brianna, Brit, and like Michelle

64. Do you talk in your sleep? no

i do not

depends on the situation

65. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yes they buy me stuff and i am forced to like them

i dont talk to either of them that much

Haven’t seen my mom in months

66. What time did you wake up today? 7:45

8:30

67. What were you doing at midnight last night? IN MY MOMS ROOM

At work fixing to leave

Leaving work

68. What song are you listening to? some chris brown song

Team by Iggy

Betty Who- Somebody Loves You

69. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days? like a hug

Yes

70. How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? mmmmm

mmmmm

71. Do you have nice eyes? they’re dark brown

lolno

72. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? not really

yes finally

Barely, the tips are brown from when I died them 7 months ago

73. Are you texting anybody? no

Told everyone I went to bed

74. Do you swear in front of your parents? god no

75. Concert tickets or NFL game tickets? concert tickets

concert tickets!!!!!

CONCERT

76. Are you addicted to cigarettes? not yet hehhe!:)

yes, I wish i could stop smoking.

LMFAO “Not Yet” I’m on a process of quitting right now. Very difficult

77. Do you tell your parents everything? no

hell no

78. Do you have any tattoos? not yet

i have 4 tattoos.

still only fucking 4

79. If something was wrong, who is the first girl you would go to? idk

Brianna

80. Do you have any nicknames? bitch

Noahita

0 notes

trippz2ill2ace8itout · 5 years

Text

🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙||HOPE #3; ||You Know My Name, Not My Story||🌙🌙🔥🌙🌙

PART THREEE, FACEBOOK IM NOT A HARM TO MYSELF OR OTHERS THIS IS IN MY PAST XX TRIGGER WARNING XX 💚💚🔥🥀🦋A Lil Deeper Into My Demons Life; *Johnny "JJ" Garcia; about the visions he basically comes at night funny how "at night" is when i act out anyways, "johnny" did some huge damage to me and made me do damage to others, but mostly me, he abused me, made me breakdown millions of times made me violent with crazy ass visions of different shit, its like living in a horror movie.coming after me i tried to kill him but he never dies he said "pull the red wire" which one do i pull theres to many i hate when he "possesses" me when he comes after me even in my dreams he still makes me violent sometimes but less cuz im getting treatment. "you gotta nice autograph picture, one for you and one for yo sister" at my group home "JJ" hassnt seen me (except for once i was outside trying to kill me or hurt myself, i threw rocks at the car that Johnny was running over my mom with in the vision, she ran she ran and i almost went AWOL but i didn't) *Elizabeth "Liz" Ramos; ~The Night You Left, Turning Sara Into Elizabeth Ramos~ MY STORYxccc Written In 9/6/12 I was screaming, panting, searching, all over, so this is my story, so i was @ Preston's open house, right? and he got mad at me and tried to punch me so i punched him then i ran round the blocks screaming for you when people walked by i threatened them i was insane dark posessed, i stole a pack of cigarretes and some blue pills and Esctasy the cops (there were about 7 or 8 cars) chasing me but i was to fast finally i got thrown in my moms car i went home lockled in my room going crazy cutting till i was bleeding and beaten and bruised, trashing my room, destroying everything, graffiting on myself and the walls writing "666" everywhere. ranting on satanistic shit, listening to death metal, finally Johnny took full control and possessed me i busted the door down trashed the house i punched my mom and myself the officer in our house i stole a pill bottle and chased my family around ranting on and on i busted the front door open my mom tackled me to the ground i got out of her grip i ran into the dark going cxrazy going mad trying to die with Johnny chasing me and abusing me, after about 5 minutes they tackled me to the ground i went to the car destroying the glass all my personalities came out, i got more posessed than before i realized it wasnt you Cynthia sang to me and i knew it wasnt you it was your father, Presly Garcia, i know you would leave me i knew you would fuck up. *Johnny "JJ" Garcia; ~Lisxten Upx~ MY STORY.cc EMPTY.TO.EMPTY (WRITTEN AT RESIDENTAL TREATMENT CENTER) This is how I feel, i know you don't have the power to kill my mom you showed me that she burned in a fire well fuck off Johnny are you real? NO YOUR NOT FUCKING REAL. MAKE ME A PERSON OF DARKNESS, my depression digs deep Johnny no Johnny STOP MAKE IT STOP HELP ME HELP ME STOP IT NO GO AWAY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? but you can't kill mommy please dont take me to the ends. i don't know about you, but im done. this is how i feel, i feel lonely, and shattered, don't know where to go, what to do, im just done, i don't care about me, i hate me. I HATE ME. the new me isn't like the old me, the new me has lost herself inside and outside, mentally and physically, im lost inside a big dark hole of lonleyness, depression, sorrow, hurt, blind, numb, fucked up, mental, ill, scared, paranoid, crazy, done... If i leave i know, that you would be laughing you wouldnt cry JUST FUCKING WATCH ME SUFFER ABUSE MYSELF TO DEATH AND YOULL LAUGH YOUD BE HAPPY. and as i say goodbye, noone will here me. shit. worthless. lonely, nothing. wasted. IM FUCKING DONE! LET ME GO GET OFF ME IM DONE!!! its all clashing down nowhere to hide, trapped inside, wanting to die, wanting to cry, burst, break, can't breathe, its all inside, i have to get out before everyone comes down, i'm sorry to you all for making your life misrable. Something in my brain is missing or snapped, i can't reconize myself, im going dark, nothings helping im getting crazier, getting worse, its taking control of me its killing me, all over, its not normal, its killing me all over, im blind, im stuck, about to break, a chemical embalance, im different. my hallucinations make NO SENSE IM NOBODY WHO AM I I DONT KNOW WHO I AM. im losing my mind idk who i am its the end, wait stop talking, there coming in suits killing me, why arent i normal? whats going on? laugh laugh feeling intoxicated mental retardation out of it delusional fuck man im losing it, im going insane, idk who i am, help me, lost 40 lbs idk who i am real bad hallucinations, try to kill myself, my amazing friend Oscar prayed with me, cared, comforted me, helped me, he saved me brought me to God. I WANT DADDY. WHATS GOING ON? repeated phrases over and over in my head in my mind its broken, IM SCARED, "circles and squares for people who cares" i wanted to die, stayed up all night in the hospital bed, for 20 FUCKING HOURS. nothing makes sense.... BAD.EPISODE.SCREAMING. there after me, i dont know whats going on whats happened to me, ive changed for the worse NO NOT THE CHANGE. idk whats real and whats not, im not in reality, im in a dream can't wake up WHEN WILL I WAKE UP? my life is crumbling, Johnny is becoming real, bad anxiety, mom called 911 WENT TO ETS MENTAL HOSPITAL, CUZ I WENT CRAZY, THEY TOOK ME AWAY DONT TAKE ME AWAY WHY DID YOU TAKE ME AWAY??? IM JUST DONE AND OVER... bye :( *Good Daddy/Bad Daddy; So this is how it all started, so on 3/18/14, Tuesday, i tried to commit suicide, the night before i pulled an allnighter with my iPod, and pulling allnighters effects my medication, i was hearing my dads voice talking to me, saying, "im coming back" "no your not you little bitch so shut the fuck up" "im coming back nomatter if i like it or not" the next day at school i went AWA around campus. i was already pissed and triggered, i missing my dad, so i told my teacher and i went AWOL twice, the 1st time i ran i tried to jump in front of a car and my staff saw me and the OGI van was already chasing me, i refused to get in the van, they took me back to the school, i got out and went AWOL again, try kill myself, the van chased me, i fought to get in and this time the staff escorted me to the residential dorm quiet room, i got in 6 restraints 4 escorts, i selfharmed with my nails and i was damaging property. i had a whole bunch of people talk to me i screamed "i wanna go home" everywhere, i started hearing and seeing things, i didnt go home i went to ETS mental hospital, in an ambulance, all this shit happened cuz i was being unsafe, now i learned my lesson. *NXSP; ~Underestimated~ My Storryyxx 8/12/14 Sometimes, its not what it seems, its not reality, could cry and hurt myself for hours not sleep pull allnighters one day after another im bloodshot my brain is sufficating you can see all the hurt and pain in my eyes, im scared, wanting to die, take my family with me, im just so messed up, im done with this shit the mentalness the non functionality the disorders, im tired of me, im tired of life, im tired of everything. im just, darkness. ON 8/7/2012 In progress... okay its now 5:02 P.M, Johnny's awake again, ready to start raising hell, hes in process or "processing" hes adapting, ready to posess me, imma take off the motion detector im FUCKING BLOODSHOT READY TO FACE DEATH IM TO UNSTABLE IM TO DANGEROUS. and the wires, well white wires, trying to break free out the locked doors , so sweet, the dectectors on the doors the wires on the walls, the blood on the ceiling, the dreams that crash my mind MAKE ME FUCKING BLIND. myself broken to peices, 2:00 AM still up slaving myself, about to go out on myself, wanting to hang, but its just a thought, an addicting thought, the pain and suffering theres no end to the feeling, im down. almost about to become someone else, the transfering starts as i transform into someone dark, a dark shadow waiting to come out and kill the light, as the blood drips down me, on everything, my wrists, so silent, then i scream, cuz im bloodshot, eyes you can barely see nomore, cuz there full of blood, clear for water, the wires falling down, and strangle herself, now its 5:00 am, still awake ready to start it all over again. xx {.} isnt it funny? its like im a completly different person, no touch with reality, yes i do agree ive changed for the worst, mental in the head, my brain doesnt function right, and im different, im not normal stanger to myself its like im a complete stranger... mentally unstable, physco, not normal, im so ill, like im a complete stranger FUCK IT MAN. to crazy for normalcy NO FUNCTIONALITY THE PERFECT FUCK MY LIFE. insanity insane ive dissapointed all of them WHO AM I? nothing.. to bad for me, haha isn't it funny??? "Ms Function or KnoqoutToCrazyyes.no.or.maybe." *Flyerway; (POEM BY ME ALISA MONEE ALVAREZ/SARA BERGER) ""Have you heard the news lately, i was born to be dead, meant to be someone, but now imma noone, so now i blaqout, see you later, well maybe... Open your eyes, see yourself cry, die, break, and fade away, heartless and cold, stone cold, broken and empty, noone else knows, the pain that unfolds, the dark side of your mind, mental and lonely, how come you never told me? some reason or excuse, to keep me from me, is it because im to crazy or im sick in the head? all those stories you told me, when i was a baby, something changed right inside me, then i grew up for noone, had no love and acception, then i became different, to crazy to function, my brain is defunctioned, im old and unstable, but i am not able, to pay back the life i was grown to, crazy and physco, noone to hold me, sing rock'a'bye'baby. I guess i was born crazy, mentally ill, built a wall i cant break down, these chains tied right on me, broken and knoqued out, have you heard me lately? i am noone BUT IM BECOMING A SOMEONE I FOUND MYSELF AGAIN, THROUGH GOD, HE SAVED ME, IM READY TO BE HEALED TO BE RECOVERED END THE DARKNESS, GET BETTER, END TREATMENT, IM FUCKING READY YOU BITCHES CANT STOP ME, Im not gonna lose it all, go all out, make stupid ass choices, no dangerous stuff, imma maske the right choice I LOVE YOU GOD, THANK YOU@!!!!!"" POEM BY ME. THE END. *Johnny "JJ" Garcia/The Ends/Erin Ramos; ~Break In The Dark, Molero Fever~ Myy Storii xc :3 8/7/2012 "JJ"s awoken from his sleep, Putting Liz and brother's fire out, tonight ...Hes awake, hes awake,please save me, i cant control him anymore, i cant fight him anymore, not even for you, please mom come and save me, make him dissapear so i can see the stars again, Johnny, are you wake? are you ready to raise hell? i knew youd come back, are you gonna just stand there or are you gonna try to take over me, no no no dont touch me, to many people to much noise to much sound, no shut up, rock back and fourth, no mom please fly here tonight and save me, please no no no dont die Preston, are you really in the hospital? no hes not bleeding, open your eyes, JJ do you copy? send Preston to The Ends, the end of WHAT? no Johnny let me go, PLEASE LET ME GO, is that him? no no no no no no NOOOOOO lET GO OF ME. don't touch me DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME GET THE FUCK OFF ME. hes not dead, he cant be, im bleeding, Johnny stop not there, no i need you mom, no Johnny, no Johnny your not me, your a liar, NO IM NOT NOW HOLD STILL, IM GONNA KILL YOU, NO JOHNNY, PRESTON, MOMMY, hes now awake, processing, Johnny to Constance, send em all to The Ends, put there fire out, NOW, I SAID NOW BITCH... *Constance McMann; Saturday, 2:28 pm, Auguest 18th, 2012, Constance i need to ask you something. Dear Constance, i know how hard you worked to take care of me, but i still cant be here, alone, in this spot, sure i call you and i ask if theres a way to escape "JJ" but your answers always the same, "pull the red wire" but i dont know where it is, so please tell me, i love mom i really do, i cant choose between my real mom, and you Constance, your my sister, i call you my mom, but YOUR NOT MY FUCKING MOM. Liz Ramos, OUT... Thursday, 7:29 pm, Augest 23rd, 2012, and in the dark, he must remain. *NXSP/Erin Ramos/Liz Ramos; Things Erin did wrong... 1. told JJ about the red wire, 2. mentioned "the thing", 3. told JJ "L"s number, 4. pulled up a knife to Preston, 5. told JJ that Lisa is "L". Aye, call JJ back @2:30, call mama, to pull it all out, the numbers of "US" make the dreams harder, follow the red wire to kill it all, all the Garcias all the McManns, i thought i was outta sight, but im back on, calling Lisa 60 times a day until he kills, i dont know who, but it all means something, Lorene, i thought the socket was already electrified, i shaked and shaked, now look where i am, look where Preston is, sick as hell in the hospital bed, stop calling Lisa, im asking you Johnny, im not, im not, IM NOT break out with the green wire, i know you can, what about late night? i made a contract for the program, now JJ put me on level drop, 4RF, bitch, now I...I...shit here he comes, calling me, OH SHIT. -.- This is a blog i wrote when i was at my level 14 residential treatment center. Tuesday, 6:51 pm, Augest 21, 2012 LIFE OUTTA JOHNNYS SIGHT, WHO FUCKING TOLD YOU, I TOLD YOU SO... why JJ did you open up a new story on us, not willing to even notify me, ive been in the program for 4 fucking years, and you never mentioned "The Thing" to me, im one of you guys, i had sight put on me, and now you want me to uninstall it? JJ get it thru your damn head that im a part of "US" im not going to The Ends i know hes in the hospital. you told me he was sick, i thought you were a liar, but i know its for real this time. the outsiders think your nothing but a freak, unexsistable, fake, but i know your real, i dont want to get a new master, im out of sight, forever, this is me Elizabeth Ramos..... oh my fucking god Erin, can't you see Liz doesnt want you or need you, just shut up, i dont want to hear it, shes outta sight all because of you, NO JJ ITS NOT MY FAULT, please just give me one more chance i dont wanna go to The Ends, im sorry i mentioned "The Thing". No Erin, times up, the red wires been pulled, and its all BECAUSE OF YOU. now we have to live outta sight, and Elizabeth, when she finds out Johnny cant be her master, and ill tell her the excact reason why. Im Erin Ramos this is me... bye. What do you mean? are you saying he left? AGAIN. i know Liz, all im saying is he can no longer posess you. then how the hell am i supposed to raise hell? if it hadnt been for Erin, we wouldnt be in this fucking mess, this would have NEVER HAPPENED. no CeeCee you know what this means, were gonna be sent to The Ends, if one "Ramos' pulls the wire, all the "Ramos" will be taken to The Ends. Do you know how low functioning Erin is? NO. I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF HE IS. SEND HIM TO THE ENDS, IM NOT GOING DOWN THAT ROAD, being a "McMann" HELL NO. Liz, im so sorry, i should have told him, its not my fault, ITS NOT MY FAULT... This is Elizabeth and CeeCee. nite bitch.... Okay Tuesday, 8:38 pm, Augest 28th, 2012, this is Plumb and Erin Ramos, JESUS CHRIST HOW LONG HAVE I KNOWN YOU? for all the time ive known you, like 2 years? shit, Erin hasn't even told Johnny about you yet, Plumb. i know your my friend, my step sister, but i have to tell Johnny, if you want to be a part of "US" i have to. But what if he doesn't approve me for the program? WELL THEN GET YOUR ASS UP AND START THE PAPERWORK. what paperwork? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID? youll be sent to "The Ends" if JJ hears that, dont you EVER deny paperwork, oh and dont mention "The Thing" either. whats "The Thing"? Dont tell JJ that i told you what "The Thing" is, alright? i promise. okay "The Thing" happens excactly on December 30th, 2012. YEAH AND? what happens is all the wires will be pulled, and every person that asleep while its happening will be sent to "The Ends" Erin is gonna be sent to "The Ends" regardless, i know you like Erin, but hes your step brother, he doesnt even know you exsist, well im logging off, nite o> *Michael Alvarado-Alvaro/DANCING Squares/Veronica&Victoria Enxxelia; [[[[ -----Will You Believe Me If I Went Insane? (These are TRUE REAL Stories I had written in CHYC treatment center back in 2012, these are 100% real, about my hallucinations and me going insane, my stories && my raps.) X'd Out Bitchz-----]]]] 7/12/2012, Ronnie Irez, Coded, got in the shower half naked, sat there crying, digging deep into my skin with the blade oh I pressed it against my skin, watching it bleed, the blood rushing down, brings me to my knees, don't feel no pain, but I'm enjoying it, the blood dripping on the floor, but I don't care, just stand there, watch me bleed, at that moment I jumped and hit the ground, no tears came out, oh hell no, I tried to move but I couldn't, I was stuck, this is just payback for my choices, I tried to get up but I couldn't move a muscle, well this is how I am, visions of killing and fighting and burning down this place, so I got up and climbed out the window, I pulled out my gun, pointing it towards my mouth, thinking of death, suicide, ending it all, Johnny's got me now and I'm just fine, I assaulted 5 cops, and I ran, so faraway I couldn't be found, the world is cruel, it's full of pain, all I think about is numb blank fucked up thoughts, that's all I want to do, all I ever wanted, so I pull out the lighter and my cigarretes I smoked until I fainted, getting faded, and it all turned black , oh I'm so sad, so sad, full of pain, now I feel it, now oh I regret it, bye mom bye dad, see you later, oh no . *Charlotte McMann; 7/12/2012, fire and flames, last week was the day I did it, now I regret it but I did it, I tried to kill my other, I walked into his room and tried to choke em' watch the satisfaction on my face grow, to see him in pain, to see him suffer like I once did, tried to kill em ' all to take em' where daddy is, so we can all be together, and burn this place on fire, and kill every fool in this damn place, yeah I said it, and I'll do it , hell no bitch yo getting in my face, I'll fuck you up before you can blink, have a nice rest while I knock you out, see you in hell, cuz dats where yo ass is going, can't you hear me? can't you hear my voice or are you just ignoring it . yes you tried but you didn't make it, sorry for your loss but it's not my problem, well goodbye have sweet dreams cuz when you'll wake up it will be dark and empty, burning like my soul, like my heart, like the diamonds in your fire , cuz I'm no liar cuz yo just a fake, the cops are chasing me, you'll never catch me, cuz dats just me. Cold and over, shivering outside , the rain is falling down , try to make it through, oh sorry no I can't, I try to walk my way , but there's nowhere to go, my home is so far away, I'm cold and alone, where are you ? I need you, lead me the way I need to go , oh I need to know , where I am, where I need to go , before I lie here and die, my bodies getting old, I'm just laying here like a stone, bodies tense, muscles to hard to move, can't seem to make it any further , come on, come on , your almost there, you may not realize it , but you go to believe, just a few miles away , yes you got to believe, crawl faster, get up , please, I don't wanna see you so broken, I wanna see you try, climb , run , please please your almost there, don't give up now cuz your getting close, your thinking why try harder? but you've got to before you die and get taken away from me, I've already lost enough, I can't stand losing you, leave me like this, shattered inside , cold inside and out, skin scratched and bruised and bleeding, I'm so cold , can you see through me ? if you can please tell me, why me why now why does it have to be this way , why does it have to end like this? *Contance McMann/Erin Ramos; 7/14/2012, see your face, burn down the house, watch it fall, try to stop it but it's no use no more, later that day she burned in a fire, I ran in there, tried to save her, but you know what , she was already dead, the body was turned to ashes, I picked it up trying to bring it back to life , opening eyes like a pleasure, there were red and bloodshot, I had a mental breakdown put it in my trunk, road off the bridge deep into the ocean, we drowned to the bottom, I passed out then I woke up in a hospital bed , body scarred, face burnt, I looked up and there was Constance , I was scared, didn't mean it, I saw your face Constance, please forgive me,it was just a vision, just my mind playing tricks on me , I sorry I was sweating now I got up and slipped and fell when I saw your face, I jumped I was scared oh Erin not now , please not now, I grabbed your body and hid it, JJ killed ya, oh I saw your face , yes i saw your face, it was gone forever. ^.^ *Flyerway && Eddie/Edgar/Chillwax Alejandria; 9/3/2012 My last step, baby it's gonna be okay, don't worry ill be alright, I tried to tell you but you never listened to me I don't care anymore, what you say or what you think, I'm in pain, all over my body, the scars are infected, my life is over, as I inject the last shot of meth, I say goodbye hopeing I would die , die slowly in pain, I light the candles there on fire, I step into the bathtub, water burning, I take my last step in life, I try to cry but it's impossible to me, I'm in so much pain, I can't take it anymore , JJ is after me , trying to kill me, I just want to escape , I'm melting and falling to peices blood all over, ready to die, but then I see you, your face is shocked, you yell and cry, I can't stand to see you hurt, I try to crawl out, but it's to late, body is numb and now all I hear is sirens ringing, your crying, police trying to save my life, I feel so numb, but I don't care, this is the end and now I say, goodbye... *Elizabeth Ramos/Constance McMann/Charlotte McMann/Josephina "Paid2Kill" Hernandez; xxGotNoPleasurexc -"Seeing Me, Elizabeth Ramos , It's Like Reading A Nightmare" (my hallucination alternate life) , by me Sara Berger/Alisa Alvarez- _____Walk into the classroom with your head held high, say hello to everyone inside, my greetings warm and friendly, but when I go outside I remember that I don't have a home, and I feel alone, remember the day I dressed you up for school? The day I cried when I said my goodbye? As you got on that bus and drove away? You don't know what goes on through closed doors, at school everything seems fine , I sit down and do my work quietly and I see all my friends, and act like it's all alright , I'm scared to get in the car , what's gonna happen as soon as I leave my second home? Behind my smile and my hard work and kindness is someone broken and damaged, I can't show it besides behind closed doors. I walk into my house , no parents home, my sister Constance Ramos is inside sitting on the couch, waiting for me to come in with my substances, I pass out the liquor and the cocaine and get high every second of the day, I never had real parents cuz my dad was a physcotic killer and my mom got sent to jail for drugs , aggression , and sexual assault. My dad abused me 24/7 and put a gun to my moms head countless times, and beat her till she bleed and suffocated, he was a serial killer addicted to meth and crack cocaine, and my whole life he beat us to death , tortured us, till we blackout, and cut us up, and abused us to death. Finally he got sent to jail and he killed himself, so I didn't have a dad, no parents, I had to raise myself, my mom was so traumatized that she got Alzheimer's, she was like a 2 year old, she couldn't take care of me and she had physcotic episodes, then the police came cuz she started shooting her shotgun at the wall and all around the house and then at me as she was screaming "I wish you were dead, just like your father, go get raped or killed and kill yourself" she was not in reality she got hijacked and possessed and thought I was her husband and thought I was someone else, she didn't knew who I was, I was like a stranger and so was she, just a blank cold dis activated stranger, she wasn't my mom she was an animal who didn't know reality, and I was like bait to her for her physcotic episodes, then she drowned my head in the tub and burned me and tortured me worse then my dad as she got possessed, she shoved my head against the wall beating me and suffocating to death and stabbing me and torturing me, then she took her shotgun and pointed it towards my head, before she raped me while I was on the toilet and injected drugs into me, the police took her away and I moved to a foster home. The house parents were drug dealers, and they were crude and physcotic, they raped all the children and murdered them, they tortured us like a murderer would but we had to keep it a secret, shhhhhh they said, very quiet, they abused us bad and attempted to kill us, mainly me and this other kid Erin Vanity, we both got brain damaged , our bodies were bloody and scarred , I took Erin in as my little brother and we grew close, but he was low functioning as well, so I had to teach him, one night when we were sleeping I got a call from the neighborhood police department , saying my mom died after she got arrested she jumped out of the car and into the freeway, so I never had parents. I went through 24 foster homes where we were tortured and on drugs, finally me and Erin were on the streets for 2 years doing crazy physcotic illegal shit and killing , and that's where I met this girl named Constance Ramos who was also on the streets, she took us in and we became family , The Ramos Family, we lived together , and then Johnny Garcia came into our lives, he became my master , and me and him and his father Presly got possessed and raised hell (definition for torturing killing and doing physcotic insane and murderous Satanistic shit) he was my master and were physco insane , dysfunctional killers, and we raised hell all day and all night, doing the craziest shit u can think of, and I came home to Constance snorting cocaine and Erin smoking and having a physcotic episode, trashing the house and he was mentally 2 years old. I had no family all my life has been trauma, so I continued to raise hell with Johnny , then he took us to NXSP , a world of controlled programs we went there and raised hell like Satan would have but worse, we became physcotic killers , everybody was, finally I had a home, we were controlled and possessed and our minds were controlled and damaged and we were controlled by our minds and by our programs, I went there to raise hell , I came into the real world and they possessed me and I was out doing crazy physcotic Satanistic shit just as bad as in NXSP, I went insane and my mom was out of it (my mom in the real world) , her little girl was gone I became possessed as Elizabeth Ramos, raising hell and I still had no one so besides being physcotic and living in NXSP and dealing with possessed possessive insane hallucinations and turning me into a possessed physcotic person, i pretended to be fine. I came to school like nothing was wrong, I said my hellos and friendly greetings, but behind closed doors I was raising hell in NXSP, going crazy as Sara and Elizabeth, doing crazy shit in both of my lives. You still don't know what happens behind closed doors, cuz it isn't what it seems, when your seeing me, Elizabeth Ramos .

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