#BUT 3RD YEAR OF UNIVERSITY THIS IS IT WE GOT THIS ITS COMING TOGETHER

[dogcollarpunk]

the fact ingesting information can be so exhausting. 0/10

[taestefully-in-luv]

Love Again | PJM (Fifteen-FINAL)

Summary: A friend of yours is eager to introduce you to her new man but what happens when Park Jimin, the man who broke your heart 5 years ago walks in through the door?

Pairing: Jimin x Female reader

Genre: exes au, exes to ???, fluff, angst, smut

Word Count: 16.1k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, mourning, stages of grief, heartache, guilt, crying yeah lots of crying, dealing with death/loss of a loved one, graveyard, mentions of sex, another character death (sorry), mention of funeral, lots of closure!!! Full circle moments! Lots of sweet moments that make me cry lol, tons of DIRTY TALK, oral (fem rec), super sensitive oc, unprotected sex, creampie, honestly they’re both sensitive and desperate as hell lol oh and the use of the word ‘slut’

Notes: It’s the last chapter of this series. Thank you to everyone who has stuck around or is new. I’m sad its over but I hope you’ve enjoyed this crazy ride. Lots of love. Send an ask to chat about the story, makes my day<3 

Previously on…in chapter 14 of Love again, Jimin is feeling jealous and he just really wants to talk to you. Jimin has finally had enough and Jungkook thinks it’s the perfect time to let the universe work its magic. Jimin confesses his feelings he has and you two decide to try a low key relationship. Jeremy finally confesses to Naomi and they get together! It’s almost perfect but something is wrong with Jimin and you’re about to find out what. 

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is a big day. The kind of big day that is talked about for years and years to come and the kind of day most have fantasized about since years and years ago. So, of course you are staring at yourself in the mirror, feeling nervous as you wonder if your make up is good enough or if this was actually the perfect dress choice. It’s a day of love. It makes sense that you are nervous. This is marriage. And weddings need to go smoothly so obviously you feel on edge! It’s natural. Or is it? It’s not like it’s your wedding. 

But well, you are the maid of honor. 

It’s the end of September, a little over a year since Naomi and Jeremy got together. Honestly, it only feels like yesterday—June 3rd—when Jeremy confessed his feelings to Naomi. It was the same day Jimin had his opening show and you all celebrated at Hoseok’s house and Jeremy poured his heart to Naomi in Hoseok’s kitchen. You shudder remembering the absolute cringe that unfolded in that kitchen but damn, it was soJeremy and you remember Naomi’s smile and you realize she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

You catch your reflection again as you quite literally reflect on the last year of everyone’s lives. How that night brought everyone here now, the good, the bad, the ugly. And also everything so beautiful. 

June 3rd of last year 

As distracted as Jimin is tonight, his eyes find you so often and he’s hit with adoration but also guilt. Maybe guilt isn’t the right word but it’s the only one that feels good enough right now. He feels guilty because he is guilty. In so many ways that crush him and every time he sees you smiling with your friends it just grows more and more. 

But sometimes even for the first few moments when his eyes land on you, before the guilt settles, he feels love. Love because he loves you. And it’s obvious to more than just him.

“Damn, dude.” Jungkook comes next to him, drink in hand as he uses the cup to gesture towards you. “You look like you’re in love.”

Jimin wants to roll his eyes and tell Jungkook to leave him alone but his love for you betrays him because he just softly whispers, “I am.” Instead. 

“Does she know?” Jungkook leans into him, smell of alcohol leaves his mouth. “Because—”

“She knows.” Jimin answers simply, a barely there smile tugging at his lips. 

“Oh.” Jungkook leans away, before prying further. “Are you two—”

“Yeah.” Jimin answers, knowing exactly where the question was headed. “We are.” 

Jungkook’s eyes widen just the slightest before his entire expression shifts. Shit eating grin taking over before he bumps Jimin’s shoulder. “Then I guess I should say ‘you’re welcome’ huh?” 

Jimin finally tears his eyes off you before raising a brow at Jungkook.

“Yeah, you should probably invite me to your wedding.” Jungkook raises his cup towards Jimin with a smirk on his face.

“I didn’t even want to invite you here.” Jimin deadpans.

“Well, at least it worked this time.”

“What did?”

“Me and Taehyung had a similar plan years ago.” Jungkook exhales a long breath, finally ready to admit their shenanigans. “We thought if you saw y/n get pursued by others that you wouldn’t want to risk leaving her…ya know,” He starts gesturing around with his hands, “She’s so amazing and hot and everyone will jump at the opportunity at her, blah, blah, blah. And you wouldn’t want anyone else to snatch her up! We thought if you saw this…then you wouldn’t leave for New York and you’d stay instead…but well,” Jungkook just shrugs.

“You knew about New York? Taehyung told you?” Jimin’s brows pull together as he tries to make sense of what he was just told.

“Yeah, he did. Don’t be mad…he just didn’t know what to do.” Jungkook shrugs again. “He couldn’t really tell his best friend not to follow his dreams but he also knew y/n wouldn’t want to follow…”

“Well, he was right, I guess.”

“You kept the secret from y/n that entire fourth year, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t think it would go anywhere…the audition, I mean.” Jimin sighs, “But in the spring they wanted to fly me out and I couldn’t keep it from her anymore.”

“Eh, whatever. Past is in the past.” Jungkook brushes it off, smirk back on his face. “What matters is the plan worked this time! You had nothing to worry about though. I mean, don’t get me wrong, y/n is…super cool and oh my god, so freaking hot like dam—”

“Jungkook.” Jimin says his name in warning.

“My bad. Habit.” Jungkook raises his hands in surrender. “Point is, she is just a friend. Just wanted to rile you up, buddy.” 

Jimin narrows his eyes for a second before asking, “So you aren’t a girlfriend stealer?” 

“Dude, I can’t even find a decent single girl. So, no.” Jungkook chuckles. 

Jimin joins Jungkook in laughing, shaking his head at how ridiculous Jungkook is and the entire plan he had with Taehyung…he can believe it though. Suddenly, Jimin’s laughter dies down and any trace of a smile is wiped from his face when he feels his phone buzzing for what feels like the millionth time tonight. He takes it from his pocket and scans the screen before his sour mood returns tenfold. 

“You okay?” Jungkook asks, quickly noticing the shift. 

“I’ll take it from here.” Both boys lift their heads to the sound of Taehyung’s voice as he walks up to them. He’s clearly been well aware of Jimin’s mood lately. And he’s ready to confront it. Jungkook nods his head, getting the hint before squeezing Jimin’s shoulder and joining everyone else in the kitchen.

“Hello, my favorite person in the world!” Taehyung grins at Jimin before leaning against the living room wall. His smile turns soft before he calmly requests, “Let’s talk.” And talk is exactly what they do. Jimin explains everything. All of it. And of course, it breaks Taehyung’s heart.

“These feelings won’t just go away…the feelings won’t just leave you, man.” Taehyung’s voice is quiet, soft and troubled. “They don’t hate you.” He tries to reassure his best friend, “But what breaks my heart, Jimin, is that I think that it’s you who does.” 

It’s a truth Jimin knows already. But to hear it from someone who has always kept it real with him and has always warned him and has always helped him…he just feels it is solidified. And at this point, all he yearns for is comfort and the person he needs it from most is you. Even though his emotions are starting to spill from him and go all over the place, he wants to try to rely on comfort alone but he also knows he needs to be honest. 

Jimin walks into the kitchen, his gaze set on you as he sees you at the counter, pouring yourself a glass of water. He comes from behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as he plants a few kisses to your neck. He doesn’t care about anyone seeing. You turn in his grasp, a curious look on your face as you glance around.

“Jimin?” You question him cutely and he wants to melt. “You’re making it quite obvious, you know?” He knows. And he doesn’t care. You’re laughing a little but you grow serious as you look at him and he knows you’re well aware of how utterly down and pathetic he looks. “Hey,” You brush some hair from his eyes, “Everything okay?”

“Not really.” He answers you honestly. Because honest is what he needs to be. 

~

Once the door to Hoseok’s back yard is shut, you and Jimin walk towards the end of the pavement where grass is met. It’s gotten later, the moon rising higher in the sky with a few stars scattered here and there. You brought Jimin out here so you two could have some privacy to talk and you feel nervous but ready to hear what’s been going on with him.

“You know,” Jimin looks down at the ground, “I’m trying so hard to convince myself I’m not a bad person because you don’t deserve a bad person. Even though I know I am.” 

Your heart is already picking up in speed, nerves setting fire to every molecule in your body. Blood being poisoned with his words. 

“Jimin…” You go to stand a little closer to him, “What are you—”

“Emma’s parents reached out to me.” He admits while his throat burns. “They called me like a week ago. They told me they were hosting a gathering to celebrate Emma’s life…and they invited me. Not just invited but rather…” He pauses, foot kicking imaginary rocks. “They were pretty insistent that I go.”

“Why now?” You ask slowly.

“They want to go public with the accident.” Jimin tells you. “They paid a lot of money at the time for things to stay very private. But now…” He starts chewing on his lips, eyes on his black dress shoes. “They believe in order for them to really move forward from grieving…they want to face it and accept it. So, they want to celebrate her life and they told me it’s something I should be there for…considering…”

“Oh.” You nod, trying to process everything. You think you can understand her parents perspective…they want to move forward—a healthy thing to do—instead of burying. “When is it?”

“It was tonight.” Jimin’s voice is quiet. “But tonight was opening night. And honestly,” He chuckles bitterly, “Even if it wasn’t…how could I show myself to them?” He finally lifts his eyes, head turning towards you with a pained expression. “I killed their daughter.”

“Woah, hey…” You immediately shake your head, brows pulled together so closely. “Jimin—”

“They’re disappointed I didn’t show.” He tells you, “Her father hasn’t exactly said kind words to me all evening.” 

“Oh.” You think about it for a moment. All the times he’s looked at his phone with a frown. “He’s just acting out, Jimin…I don’t know what he’s said but—”

“I’m selfish.” He croaks out. “Selfish for so many things and you know it.” 

“What?” You look at him, puzzled. “I don’t think that of you.”

“I am.” He says with a set mind. “I could go on and on—”

“No, you couldn’t.” You try to steer him away but he isn’t having it.

“I couldn’t?” He asks, “Seriously? Okay.” He nods. “What we had…” He motions between your bodies, “Was great. More than great. But I still left you for New York. You suffered, y/n…while I…and I am selfish for missing tonight when it is all my fault. If I never went to New York, I would have never broke your heart. If I never went to New York,” He pauses, throat still burning as his eyes sting. “Emma would still be alive.” 

Your heart has dropped to your lower belly, dying there, struggling to beat anymore.

“Me going to New York ruined everyone’s lives, huh?” He asks you, knowing no answer you could give will change his mind. He’s staring at you, teary eyes boring into yours. “I’m here. I’m the one who is here. It shouldn’t be me. Why is it me? Why am I the one who is here?” 

The pain in his eyes is enough to know his heartache won’t be easy to soothe. You know his guilt has become all-consuming and for the first time, you actually don’t know how to comfort him.

You’re at a loss for words. Mouth hanging open, your own teary eyes blinking at him repeatedly because you can’t fathom his overwhelming feelings and you cannot know what he is going through. 

He stares at you, growing more and more emotional and your lack of response is sending him into a spiral now. You want to reach for him or say something—anything—but you’re feeling broken as you watch him begin to stutter out apologies, voice cracking and eyes beginning to shed his mournful tears. He repeats his words over and over. Between ‘I’m sorry’s’ and ‘I don’t deserve you’s’, you see how he breaks further and further into a mess. And then he says the most heartbreaking thing of all.

“I love you but I’m not the man I want or need to be for you.”

You feel it. You feel his words before he even says them. You are surprised though…you understand where this is going and what exactly he is implying. You understand completely even if you are still trying to make words come out. You understand his desire to step away from you, from the both of you. And you feel your heart breaking. He’s breaking your heart again.

But this ache you are feeling isn’t because of what he is saying that you are completely understanding. Your heart is broken and aching only because his heart is broken and aching. It’s that simple. You aren’t sad because of his implication. You’re sad because he’s sad. 

As much as you want to believe hugging him and telling him you love him will be what he needs, you know it’s not enough. You might have the ability to soothe him, but you do not possess the ability to heal him. It has only been over a year since he’s faced this loss…he’s grieving. And the biggest issue is…he isn’t even grieving properly. You’re aware there’s stages to this—five, you’re sure.

There’s Denial. You know that after the accident, Jimin tried so hard to live his life normally…he still went to work, rehearsals every single day despite needing literally anything else. Then, there’s Anger. His outburst at work. The drunkenness, attempts at fighting and harsh words. Third, there is Bargaining. You weren’t there so you don’t know exactly how this one was for him but even a few minutes ago he was blaming himself for Emma’s death and going as far as saying if he never want to New York that she would still be alive. 

Next, is Depression. And you think this is the stage he has been stuck in since coming back home from New York. He isolated himself…words from Lucy who saw it herself. He wanted nothing to do with anyone or anything. Never smiled or laughed. He omitted joy. But thankfully he found Lucy who seemed to help him and he was able to see a little light. 

But the light was just the sun barely peaking from dark, heavy clouds and perhaps you and your friends kept those clouds from crying rain over him. But you don’t think the clouds have dissipated quite yet. He hasn’t fully seen the sun.

And he deserves the sun.

Last, is Acceptance. Probably the stage that feels impossible. And it is definitely the stage he hasn’t experienced. You stand here, watching as he cries his heart out in front of you. Soft sobs leaving his body, looking frail, weak, fragile. Finally, you know what to say. Since you cannot heal…you’ll soothe. 

“Aren’t you the one who said the past is set in stone—you can’t change it—and you wouldn’t want to. Remember, why explore the ‘what ifs’?” You begin, but you see in his eyes he already hates this. But you continue, “Things happen the way they do, Jimin. That’s it. That’s life.” 

Jimin continues to cry silently, eyes on you but he’s confused where this is going.

“You did great things in New York, Jimin.” Your tone grows softer. “You created loving, everlasting memories. You wouldn’t change that, right?” He cries harder. “And me?” You point to yourself, “I grew up. I met my best friends who mean the world to me…I grew more independent and spent so much time with others.”

Jimin can’t bring himself to respond to anything yet and you’re glad because you aren’t done.

“And you gave Emma you.” You say to him as tenderly as possible. He parts his lips but no words come out, just a deep sob as he finally lets himself break down. “You don’t know what her fate was even if you weren’t involved in her life. Trust me, as someone who has experienced love with you…she wouldn’t have traded it for the world.” 

Jimin lowers himself to the ground, face buried in his hands. “Also,” You continue as you look up at the moon. The pretty moon. The moon who deserves the sun. He deserves the sun. The sun to reflect its light to make him shine. “Don’t say you aren’t the man you need to be for me.” You glance down at him before squatting down to his level. You cup his cheek and add, “Love yourself and be the man you need to be for you. You’re already everything to me, Jimin.”

He lifts his face, cracking a small smile through his snot and tears. “You aren’t letting this end between us, are you?”

“No.” you return his smile. “Not exactly, anyway. We’re a team. No matter what kind of relationship we have.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “I think you should see someone. A professional. And that’s a you thing…so I will respect these boundaries so you can heal…even as a friend…” You use your thumb to wipe some tears from his cheek, “I will never leave your side.”

August of last year

“I’m serious!” Naomi points down at the lunch menu, “The prices went up!” 

“You’re right…” Jeremy whines, “We are loyal customers here. How could they do this to us?”

“Ah ha!” Hoseok wiggles in his spot out of excitement, phone in his hands. “Dae finally sent me the actual dance competition video. She finally found it.” He looks up at you, his phone suddenly sliding to the side on the table at your usual lunch place. “Ready to watch it and see how I was so wronged that day?”

“She didn’t just send you sex videos again, right?” You can’t help but chuckle, pretending to slide his phone back. “Not something I want to see.” You pretend to gag while your best friend rolls his eyes.

“You aren’t so lucky.” He scoffs, “But anyway, no. This is the actual video! Let’s watch it!” And now he is scooting his chair closer to you, his finger itching to play it already.

“Fine.” Now you’re the one playfully rolling your eyes as you show him some finger quotes. “Let’s see how you were ‘so wronged’ in how Dae won.” 

“Trust me. I deserved to win.” Hoseok’s finger finally pushes against the screen as he plays the video. “Okay, watch here…see how I…wait, damn.” He pushes his head back in slight shock, “Did she really do that move…I don’t even remember.”

“Oh, she is good.”

“Yeah, but not bett—wait, okay see my immaculate foot work? Yeah, I’m a star!” He grins proudly as he watches. “Damn, wait. She just did the perfect moon walk. But no, still…I should have…hold on.” He pauses the video before looking at you. “There’s no way she was this good?”

“Weren’t you aware?”

He plays the video again. “Okay, you cannot tell me I am not moving to the beat. The rhythm is—hold on, did she just…there’s no way she…maybe she is good…”

“Didn’t you think so at the time too?” You start teasing him, “Isn’t that why you hated her and got horny and wanted to…oh what was it? Teach her a lesson?”

“Shut up.” He grumbles as he keeps watching. “Holy shit…maybe she did deserve to win.” You laugh at this but he immediately shakes his head in denial. “No, no. I’m just blinded because I’m in love. I totally deserved to win.”

You’re about to laugh again and continue to tease him when you realize what he said, “What did you just say?”

“That I totally deserved to win.” He keeps his eyes focused on the video.

“No…” You say slowly, “Before that.”

“Oh. That I’m blinded because I’m in….oh.”

“Love?” You punch his shoulder, smile on your face. “You just admitted you’re—”

Hoseok’s wide eyes meet yours, “No, that’s not what…we’ve only been dating for a few…no…holy shit.” He starts nodding his head as he stares at you. “Oh my god, I am.” 

You laugh, while Naomi and Jeremy laugh as well at the entire conversation. You look at your best friend, totally endeared before you pinch his cheek and he tries to swat you away. “Happy for you.” You tell him softly, “And she’d probably be happy to hear it too.” And then you release his cheek before swiping a fry from his plate.

“Hey!” Hoseok whines, “I thought you were done stealing my fries! You steal Jimin’s now!”

“Speaking of Jimin,” Naomi looks up from her menu, “Where is he?”

“It’s Thursday, Naomi.” Jeremy reminds her, “He has his appointment today.”

“Oh, that’s right!” She nods along then her eyes find yours and you see her sincerity. “How is that going by the way?”

All eyes on you as your friends wait for a positive response, “It’s going well.” You tell them honestly, “I think it took him a minute to get warmed up but there’s been progress.” You say with a smile, happy that all of your friends finally know about Jimin’s past and reasons for leaving New York. “Mr. Smith has been so great with him…he cares so much about Jimin, obviously. He gives him every Thursday off so he can just relax since it can be emotionally draining.”

“That’s awesome.” Naomi leans into Jeremy’s shoulder as she grins. “Progress, even a little, is everything.”

“Yeah.” Hoseok agrees, “He deserves to be happy.”

“He does.” You say before you click your phone as see the time. “Oh shit! We need to order or we are going to be late going back to work!”

September of last year

You’re at your desk, tension between your shoulders as usual as you try to finish this report before the deadline. You’re almost done—or maybe you’re just about to give up—when you feel that someone is behind you. You spin in your chair to see Jungkook staring at your screen before he’s blowing out air through his mouth and he sighs to himself.

“I’m going to miss this.” He complains so suddenly, breaking his whole character of being so serious at work. “I can’t believe today is my last day being your boss!” He finds your eyes now before he’s smirking. “But don’t worry, you can still totally call me Mr. Jeon.”

You swat his stomach and he flinches, “Hey!” He pouts at you, “You’re fired!”

“Yeah, yeah.” You brush him off with a laugh. “We’re going to miss you here too though. But we will still hang out!” 

“Of course we will.” Jungkook grins at you, “I’ll miss telling you what to do though.” He winks before walking over to Jeremy’s desk and you hear him immediately scolding him. 

You shake your head with a smile, eyes going back to your computer screen before you remember something that has you pulling out your phone and opening a text thread you haven’t seen in a little while.

y/n 2:32pm

Happy Birthday!!!! 🥳 I hope this book tour has been everything you’ve dreamed of and more. And I hope your birthday has been super amazing! ☺️

Namjoon 2:35pm

Thanks y/n 😊 it has been more than amazing. Just finished up our last stop and then I will get ready since Emiko and I are going to get dinner to celebrate. Thanks for the birthday text, hope you’ve been doing well.

You smile down at your phone before you click it off and get back to work.

October of last year

You can’t but laugh in your spot as you watch Jimin grow a little red from how loudly Taehyung is shouting at everyone who walks by. “It’s my best friends birthday!” He yells over and over, drunkenly slurring his words as he wraps his arm around Jimin’s shoulders. “Wish him a happy birthday you non-birthday wenches.”

“Wenches?” Jimin rubs his temple, “Interesting word choice.”

“It just feels so right.” Taehyung nods, determined look in his eyes. “Doesn’t it?”

“It’s not nice.” Jimin deadpans.

“Wait, you’re right.” Taehyung nods again, “I’m supposed to be finding the love of my life. Let me try again…hello,” He stops a group of girls who are walking by, they stop and stare at Taehyung, expecting him to get on with it. “It is my best friends birthday and you guys are just way too beautiful to not tell him and by him drinks.”

“We’re good.” One of the girls says before she looks at Jimin, “Happy birthday though.”

“Fine, by me a drink then.” Taehyung slurs. 

“No thanks.” Another girl says, eyebrow quirked at drunk Taehyung.

“No thanks? Don’t you want to fall in love?!?!?” Taehyung starts complaining now but it’s to no one since the girls have now walked away. “Why is love so hard?!” 

“Taehyung.” Jimin smiles at him.

“I’m lonely and no one wants me.”

“You just have to meet the right girl! You’re meeting all the wrong ones.” Jimin tries to make him feel better. “Don’t force it! Before you know it, you’ll be randomly meeting a girl who is just like you!”

“That probably doesn’t exist. I’m the only one of my kind.” Taehyung slumps his shoulders. “Anyway, since it’s your birthday I think we can convince y/n to have a threesome with us—” He stops when he sees Jimin’s unenthused expression. “Okay, I’m going to the bar where Hoseok and Jeremy are, they’re downing shots like men. I too am a man.” He waddles away while Jimin chuckles to himself before his eyes find you. He gives you a small wave.

You go to him, where he stands on the other side of the tall table, arms wrapping around him as you give him another hug. “Happy birthday again.” You say. He smells so nice. So Jimin and you melt, wanting nothing more than to just stay here, inhaling him for all he’s worth and living like this. But you know you have to pull away.

“Thanks.” He keeps you stuck to his body for a moment longer before letting you disconnect yourself. 

“Thanks for being born.” You smile, “Thanks for being here. I’m glad you are.”

Something similar to the guilt he’s been harboring for a while now flashes in his eyes. The same guilt you had been exposed to. But after a moment it’s replaced with an honest softness before he’s smiling, “Me too.” And you know he’s telling the truth. “Mr. Smith says to stop by more often. He says show days isn’t enough. You owe him, according to him.”

“I owe him?” You raise a brow in amusement. “How so?”

“He told me he only increased my pay so I could take you out on dates.” He’s playful as he speaks, “Like the old days.”

You laugh a little, cheeks feeling warm before you speak. “Doesn’t he know there’s no dates?” 

“He said I can just save up and take you on one in the future but it has to be fancy, I guess.” He shrugs. 

“Also,” You still feel your cheeks heating up. “What about the old days?”

“I used to beg him to pay me more so I could take you out.” Jimin’s lips lift into one of his sly smiles. “How else could I afford it?”

Now you’re really laughing, “Jimin, the most expensive date we ever went on was watching two movies in one night.”

“Movies are expensive! I bought us popcorn! And drinks! And candy! You think money grows on trees?” Jimin’s lips are in a puffy pout with big, exaggerated eyes. “I didn’t know you were so ungrateful.” He jokes, eyes softening.

“I’m not!” You defend yourself, “I don’t care what we do or what we did! Just liked being with you…” You mumble, eyes sliding to the side.

“Is that so?” Jimin’s voice drops a little lower, “Then you’re happy right now then? Even like this…” He pauses, waiting for you to get his implication. “You’re happy?”

“Even like this.” You assure him. “Now let’s join the others. I think Jungkook said he brought a birthday surprise for you but is waiting until we get back to my place.”

“It’s fucking brownies, isn’t it?” 

“It’s Jungkook…what do you think?”

December of last year

Jimin 7:14pm

Merry Christmas again y/n 🥰 have you and your family had dinner yet? My mom asked about you probably around 8 times now lol she won’t stop bringing you up since the show last month

Jimin 7:15pm

She also wont stop telling me youre going to get a boyfriend at any minute since youre so beautiful 

Jimin 7:15pm

I mean shes not wrong but 🙄

y/n 7:42pm

sorry we were still eating! We had a late start bc my mom insisted to do everything herself but then complained when no one helped her lmao

y/n 7:42pm

but yes merry Christmas again hehe

y/n 7:42pm

and tell your mom no boyfriend for me 

Jimin 7:45pm

She is really happy were in each others life tho

Jimin 7:45pm

Im also happy about that

y/n 7:58pm

me too jiminie 

Jimin 8:14pm

Also…im still sorry about last week

y/n 8:51pm

you were drunk its okay plus its not like I was going to stop you

Jimin 8:51pm

Its not fair though…for you. I don’t want you to think I don’t take where our friendship is at seriously. I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you when im still so….

Jimin 8:52pm

You mean so much to me and I I wouldn’t do that to you

y/n 8:53pm

its really not a big deal dude lol seriously! 

Jimin 9:02pm

Me wanting to kiss you feels like a big deal tho 🙃 but I get what you mean but im still sorry 

Jimin 9:02pm

I hope I can kiss you again one day in different circumstances 

y/n 9:05pm

jimin im sorry but maybe we can just change the subject for now…got any presents yet?

February (current year)

It’s one day before your best friend, yes your absolute bestest friend in the entire world or even universe’s birthday. Jung Hoseok. And you wish you were staying up with him until midnight to celebrate his life because he deserves it. He’s your closest most special friend, he is your family. And you couldn’t be further away from him. And he couldn’t be more understanding. 

Because he knows how important this is. 

It’s your second time ever visiting New York, it’s cold, freezing even, but watching Jimin gives you an undeniable warmth rushing through your body. You’re both here, visiting this city with a purpose. Different purposes…yours is to merely support—to just be here. 

There’s snow falling all around you, snowflakes decorating the ground, the trees and the tombstones. Your back is against a tree, the trunk is thick and the leaves that never managed to fall covered in snow. Your eyes are on the scenery around you and falling to Jimin every now and then, his side profile in view. The bridge of his nose, the plumpness of his lips and his head of hair hiding beneath a black beanie. He’s not too far from you, his figure standing tall as he holds a bouquet of flowers while he stares down at the grave. 

This was his idea—or maybe it was his therapists—either way, you know it’s necessary. Necessary for him so he can move on…more forward. Receive closure, perhaps. But of course, you know this isn’t easy for him, no matter how bravely he announced to you that he wanted to do this. He didn’t hesitate to ask you to join him and you didn’t hesitate to agree to come along. And Hoseok didn’t hesitate in urging you as well. 

He’s been standing there for a while, eyes so focused on the name on the tombstone. Emma Dubois. You can sense how tense he is, staring down and you can basically physically see the millions of words in his head. You stay leaning against the tree when you notice Jimin finally slowly fall to his knees on the grave, his shaky hands placing the flowers down as he bows his head. 

It’s the two year anniversary of her death today. This isn’t easy for him. He’s stiff, still with his head bowed down before you can finally see the image of his shoulders slightly shake. His eyes are slammed shut, his breaths are heavy—you can see each one in the cold air. Of course you want to go to him but you keep your distance, knowing he needs this. Needs this time alone. No, not alone. Time with Emma. 

The urge to go to him only grows stronger when your heart begins to pinch…it doesn’t take an expert lip reader to see the apologies and regret spilling from his lips and all the tears that accompany. You’re sure his tears are warm on his cheeks, the way they trail down, leaving behind their warmth to comfort him since you can’t. This. This is what he has been yearning for…giving Emma his words, his heartfelt words. Each tear that falls to the grave gets him closer to the forgiveness he is searching for, closer to the freedom. Heart pinching a little less, you see how this begins to relax his body, like he is releasing everything and maybe he can finally feel something close to ease.

After a while, Jimin stands again, legs looking a little wobbly but he manages to stand stronger than before. Hands wiping at his face, finally letting himself mourn just a little while longer before he takes a deep, deep breath and smiles down at the grave. He gives a small nod before turning in his spot, eyes finding you. You who leans against a tree, snow whirling around your figure and Jimin is starting to remember how pretty snowflakes are again. 

You can see in his eyes that he has finally bid his farewell. He walks closer to you, finding a spot on the thick trunk, leaning against the tree as well. His eyes lift to the snowy sky.

“She’s missed.” He tells you softly. “I’m grateful for the time I got to know her.” He lowers his gaze, eyes finding yours before he’s smiling and reaching for your hand. You’re surprised by the contact. The contrast of this cold day with his warm fingers makes you feel like a cozy blanket has suddenly wrapped around you. 

“Should we go eat now?” He nods towards the street, “I’m so hungry!” 

You blink at him for a moment and then you finally smile. Last stage…acceptance. “Yeah.” 

April

“Wait what the hell is happening? Is this what I think it is?” Hoseok keeps hitting your thigh, his knuckles knocking against you annoyingly.

“If you think it’s a fucking proposal then yes. Stop hitting me!” You try to shove him away, “And shush!”

“Naomi….” Jeremy has Naomi’s hands in his, “I really—”

“Did you know this was happening? He didn’t tell me?!” Hoseok whisper shouts in your ear, “Did you know?”

“No.” You whisper back, eyes glued to your two friends who are apparently about to start making out because you think Jeremy just proposed. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No!” Hoseok’s wide eyes stay on them as well. “He doesn’t even have a ring? Maybe he didn’t even know he was doing this.”

“We can literally hear you guys.” Jeremy finds the closest napkin and throws it at you both. “And no, I didn’t know. But I knew it was time.”

“Time?! You’ve been dating for like—” Hoseok is cut off when you swat his arm. 

“Wait, are you two really engaged now?” You ask, but when you see how absolutely in love and happy Naomi looks, you kind of know the answer. “I didn’t even get to hear it…” You slump your shoulders at the restaurants table. “Hoseok wouldn’t shut the hell up.”

“You know I narrate everything? Why are you acting surprised?” He’s the one acting annoyed now. “Jimin did you hear anything that happened?”

“How could I have?” Jimin laughs, “I was trying to pay attention but dude, you don’t know how to whisper. But also, it’s not like y/n wasn’t talking the entire time either.” 

“I want to get married too.” Taehyung stabs his utensils in his food right when your server comes back to your table. 

“Can I get you all anything else?” She smiles at you guys when Taehyung lifts his eyes towards her.

“Want to marry me?” He blurts.

She glances around awkwardly, “I literally don’t know you.”

Taehyung shrugs and nods his head like he understands, “That’s fair.” He mumbles before stabbing his food some more.

“Anyway.” Dae rolls her eyes while she shakes her head. “Congrats, you two.” She raises her water towards Jeremy and Naomi. “You’re really engaged? Like you two are going to get married?”

“Well, since Hoseok is loud as fuck and no one heard my incredibly romantic proposal…” Jeremy huffs out. “Yes. I literally asked ‘will you marry me’ and—”

“And I literally said yes.” Naomi shakes her head in disapproval but she’s still smiling. “You’re telling me you guys didn’t hear it at all?”

“All I could hear was Hoseok’s loud ass voice.” You deadpan.

“Oh yeah, let’s all blame the guy for saying what we were all thinking.” Hoseok waves you off but you lean into him with a straight face.

“We were keeping our thinking in our heads unlike you.” 

“Can we just congratulate our best friends or are you going to keep complaining?” Hoseok leans into you as well with a glare.

“Should I start saying what I’m thinking too?” You ask with a smile. “Thoughts of strangling you with my bare—”

“Oh my god, just say you’re happy for them you two.” Dae cuts in with a hearty laugh. “You guys fight like siblings who are in middle school.”

“Speaking of middle school, remember that girl who said you had no swa—”

“Too far!” Hoseok shouts out incredulously. “Jimin, can you please get your friend.” 

“Wait, what happened in middle school?” Dae asks, glancing around the table. 

“Some girl said Hoseok had no swag.” Jeremy shrugs, “Something like that.”

“Who was it baby?” Dae grows serious. “I will fight this bitch, who was it?”

“You’re the only one I can count on, Dae.” Hoseok closes his eyes slowly with a nod to his head, “You’re the only one who understands how truly—”

“Anyway,” you finally laugh a bit, pinching Hoseok’s arm as he yelps. “We are happy for you both. Why so suddenly though?”

“We are already live together, work together, hang out together and we’re basically already married…why not just make it official? Love is fucking awesome.” Jeremy tells you all. “Highly recommend.”

“Thanks for the recommendation.” Taehyung grunts while he continues to stab his food. 

“Well, some other news.” Dae gets everyone’s attention. “I put in another work transfer request and I’m feeling pretty hopeful this time! I probably won’t know anything until later in the summer though.”

“You’ll get it.” Hoseok grabs Dae’s hand. “You’ll be moving in before you know it.”

“Yeah. Dae.” Taehyung stares down at his food, “You’ll be.” Stab. “Living.” Stab. “With your.” Stab. “Soul.” Stab. “Mate.” Three more stabs. 

Naomi offers a disturbed expression before looking at Jimin and silently mouthing ‘is he okay?’

Jimin just laughs it off, waving his hands around before massaging Taehyung’s shoulder, “He’s just a little sensitive.”

Taehyung pauses his stabs before looking at all of you, “I’m not sensitive.” He says matter of fact before dramatically looking up at the ceiling with a solemn expression. “I’m lonely.”

“More like dramatic.” You chuckle. 

“Don’t worry bro.” Jeremy slides a shot over to Taehyung, “Your time will come.”

June

“It’s pretty miserable but honestly, you guys won’t believe it!” Jungkook leans forward on Hoseok’s sofa, beer bottle in his hand. “My mom actually praised me. Trust me, I know it’s hard to believe!” He offers a large bunny grin.

“What?” You question him excitedly. “What did she say?!”

“Okay, you guys ready for this? She said, and I quote ‘wow, Jungkook, you actually didn’t fuck up this time.’ Can you believe it?!” He continues to grin while you blink at him.

“Oh…” You smile awkwardly, “I guess that’s a start?”

“I bet she was so sexy when she said it.” Taehyung sips his own beer.

“Gross, dude.” Jungkook shudders, “Anyway, my dad even agreed. It’s looking up.”

“Quick, Taehyung. Is his dad hot too?” Dae asks.

Taehyung sighs out, “Unbelievably so.” 

“Nice.” Dae nods.

“What is wrong with them?” Hoseok groans out, “Anyway, Jeremy said he and Naomi will be here in like an hour. They were having dinner with her parents.” 

“How’s their wedding planning going?” Jimin asks from beside you, “Good?”

“Naomi is a perfectionist and Jeremy kind of just exists.” You say with a laugh, “But it’s not too stressful yet.”

“That’s—oh, hold on. Getting a call.” Jimin says as he tries to slide his phone from his pocket. He looks down at the screen as he frowns. “I don’t know this number.”

“Probably spam.” Taehyung tells him. “I get at least 5 a day.”

“So annoying.” You add.

“Probably.” Jimin slips the phone back in his pocket after sending the call to voicemail. “Anyway, I—” He stops when he feels his phone vibrating again. His eyebrows furrow as he tries to slide his phone out again. “Oh. It’s Mr. Smith this time.” He says with a smile. “Hold on. Hello? What’s up Mr—oh, hi Mrs—sure, Alina.” Jimin continues to smile as he talks to Mr. Smith’s wife. “Is everything—oh.” His smile suddenly drops. Jimin’s eyes quickly go to you, he looks a bit worried and you feel yourself grow a little worried too. You mouth, ‘is everything okay?’ but Jimin continues listening on the other line, concentrating on her words. 

“When? Oh. Okay. I see. I’m so sorry…” His voice grows quiet and now everyone in Hoseok’s living room is watching as Jimin takes this phone call. “Yeah, no, I understand. Of course. I’m so sorry Alina…Viktor was…yeah. It’s when? Of course, I’ll be there. Yeah, she will come too.” Jimin glances at you, your eyebrows pulled so closely together as you try to understand what’s happening. “You want to meet? Sure, we can. Of course…of course. I’ll see you on Monday then. Once again, I’m sorry…yeah.” He nods. “Bye.” And then he hangs up the phone. He stares at nothing for a moment before he looks at you. 

“That was Mrs. Smith?” You ask, “Is everything okay?”

“Um,” Jimin smiles a little, “Not really. Uh, Viktor—Mr. Smith, he uh, he passed last night.”

“Wait, what?” Hoseok gasps a little. “The director?” 

“Yeah.” Jimin nods. “It was peaceful…in his sleep.” Jimin confirms softly. “Alina, his wife wants to meet me on Monday though. Has something for me.”

“Holy shit…” You whisper. “Are you serious?” Your eyes grow a little watery but Jimin is quick to grab your hand. 

“It’s okay. She said it was peaceful.” 

“I’m sorry dude.” Taehyung frowns, “I know you guys loved that guy.”

“Will you come with me?” Jimin asks you, squeezing your hand. “Alina says to bring you.”

You take a moment to respond, the shock a little well, shocking. You finally knock out of it and nod your head and squeeze Jimin’s hand back. “Yeah, sure.”

~

You’re in the old theatre building, the one that needs renovations so bad, the one you came to almost daily back in college and the one you come to now to watch Jimin perform. The one that feels like stepping inside a place similar to home. The one Mr. Smith had always made you feel was a home.

You and Jimin walk in the back to Mr. Smith’s old office, one he is no longer occupying but it still smells like him. Old books, leather, maybe something sweet from a candle that’s fire has lingered. Mrs. Smith is sitting at his desk, a pair of glasses hanging lowly on her nose as she reviews some papers. She lifts her eyes when you and Jimin walk into the room, a gentle smile on her bright face. 

“You’re here.” She beams at you both, her eyes sparked with adoration. You wonder how she looks so okay when her husband has just passed. Her smile isn’t the only thing gentle, her eyes are also shining with a delicacy. She’s looking tired, age evident on her but she still smiles. “Sit, sit.”

“Hi Mrs—”

“Please, call me Alina.” She tells you, her cheeks dusted so rosy. “Viktor never let anyone call me anything but Alina. Said my name was too beautiful to be called anything else.”

“Wow,” Jimin chuckles softly, “I didn’t know Mr. Smith was so smooth.”

“Oh, 50 years ago he was the smoothest man I ever met. But somehow,” She leans back into the leather chair, “He got even more impressive with time. I must have taught him well.” She winks at you guys and you both laugh. “Anyway, the funeral is on Thursday but I wanted to meet before that…I have something for you Jimin.” Her fingers tap against a packet before sliding it across the desk. “Take a look.” 

You and Jimin exchange a glance before he’s taking the packet, opening it and slipping some papers. His eyes scan over it a few times, his expression growing more and more confused the more he reads over it. “What am I looking at?” Jimin questions quietly, “What—”

“To put it simply,” Alina reaches for her glasses before taking them off her face. “This building…its ours.” She gestures around. “He bought it decades ago. You probably didn’t know, huh?”

“He owns this building?” Jimin looks up from the papers. “It’s his? I thought he just worked here…” 

“Was his.” She smiles. “He’s leaving it to you.”

“Wait, wait.” Jimin’s eyes go back down to the papers in his hands, “I’m sorry but what?” He scans the papers again, “No…it’s yours. Right? It’s yours, I can’t possibly—”

“I thought you’d deny but,” Alina opens a drawer at the desk, she reaches for a closed envelope. “He did too. So here.” She hands Jimin a letter. “Read it, honey.”

Jimin looks at you, his eyes big and confused. He’s hesitant but reaches for the envelope and opens it as smoothly as possible. A single folded sheet of paper inside. 

Dear Jimin,

Did you know that you brought this old building back to life? You might have even been the one to give it life in the first place all those years ago. You are what I once dreamed of becoming when I was young…ah,  but I could not command a stage like you. So my new dream was to provide it for someone who could. How’s Alina? Don’t let her sweet smile fool you, she’s actually quite feisty. My beautiful wife has tried to get me to sell this building for years. So please…don’t think even for a second she wants to keep this place. She’s probably feeling relieved to finally get rid of it! With that being said, it’s yours. But I know you are meant to be on stage…so I wouldn’t be upset if you decide to sell it. Do that if you’d like. Use the money to buy yourself a more decent place to live! Your studio apartment truly is tragic. Sell if you need to. Maybe to someone who might actually renovate it, unlike a cheap bastard like myself! (haha!) Please watch after my Alina for me. And please…ask y/n to watch after you for me. 

Live a long and wonderful life.

Sincerely,

Viktor Smith 

Jimin’s eyes are teary as he folds the paper again, he takes a moment to collect himself, deep breath before finding Alina’s eyes. “Did he know he was going to…” 

Alina blinks a few times before understanding his question and then she’s smiling again, “He’s been sick for some time, dear.” She informs the both of you. “My Viktor is resting now. He lived very happily.”

You swallow the lump in your throat, trying to remain calm even though this feels a bit emotional.

“He talked about you two years and years ago…back when you were in college. A natural star and his beautiful girlfriend. How much fun the two of you were…he would come home laughing so hard, telling all these stories. Well,” Alina blinks back a few tears of her own, still smiling. “I guess buying this building forever ago was worth it. Seeing him that happy. Thank you.” She tells you both, “Take care of yourselves.” 

August 

“Are you fucking kidding me, Jeremy?” Naomi shouts across their living room. Your eyes go between her, Jeremy and the little, tiny thing she is referring to.

“What?” He looks around, clueless. 

“Our wedding is in a month! I am literally going insane trying to plan this thing! Why do you think this was the right time for that?!”

“What do you mean?” He continues to play innocent.

“A puppy, Jeremy?! Are you serious?!” Naomi throws her face in her hands, “Why?”

“…Bacon needed a friend.” He finally gives a reason.

“Oh my god, I am going to kill you.” Naomi looks around at the rest of you, wanting some back up. “I finally got Bacon to stop being a little shit and pissing on my rug. Now we have a puppy to potty train?” 

“Damn, that does suck.” You shake your head and Hoseok nods his head in agreement. 

“Nothing about having a puppy sucks guys.” Jeremy scolds you both. “Why is everyone so heartless?”

“The wedding is in a month. We don’t have time for this…” Naomi gives up, plopping down on her sofa. “It’s so soon.”

“It is so soon.” Hoseok chimes in, “Like, didn’t you guys just get engaged…oh my god, Naomi. Are you pregnant?” 

Dae snorts at this but immediately hits Hoseok’s chest when Naomi glares at them. “What?” Hoseok whines, “We’re all thinking it. So…are you?”

“No!” 

Everyone laughs before heads are turning towards Naomi and Jeremy’s front door when Jimin and Taehyung walk in.

“We’re here! We brought lots of snack and—” Taehyung stops in his tracks when he notices a little puppy standing in the middle of the living room. “A puppy?!” He runs towards it in excitement. 

“Oh, cute.” Jimin smiles but it drops. “Wait, I think it’s peeing.”

Everyone’s head turns towards Naomi who is already glaring at Jeremy. “I’m going to kill you.” 

“I don’t think I’m going to make it to being a married man, guys.” 

“R.I.P” Hoseok sends Jeremy some finger guns. 

You giggle to yourself, “So anyway,” You turn to Hoseok and Dae, “Just two more weeks, right?”

“Yeah!” Dae grins, “Two more weeks and Hoseok and I will be done with the long distance. I’ve already started bringing some things over when I visit on weekends. Hoseok isn’t willing to compromise on some things though. Can you talk some sense into him?”

You quirk a brow at your best friend, “What kinds of things?”

“She’s being unfair, y/n.” Hoseok tells you. “She wants to change my bedding!” 

“It’s going to be ours though!” 

You glance at Dae, mortified. “Hoseok’s sheets were expensive! He’s cheap as hell, it was one of the only things he was willing to spend money on and you want to change them?”

“Exactly!” Hoseok leaps into your arms, “You get me. She gets me, my best friend gets me.” 

“They’re red!” Dae looks at you like you cannot be serious. “They’re so ugly!” 

“Sleep in the guest room then.” Hoseok shrugs, still in your arms like you’re going to protect him.

“Fine.” Dae raises her nose in the air, “Have fun using your hand for the rest of your life.”

Hoseok’s eyes widen, he jumps from your arms to hers. “Now that I think about it, red is ugly.” 

“Men.” You roll your eyes. 

“What about men?” Jimin comes to you all, he stands next to you from where you sit on the sofa. 

“Easily manipulated with sex.” You shrug, barely dismissing how pathetic it is. “Sad, right?”

“Manipulation is also sad.” Jimin laughs. 

“Touché.” 

“Can you help me cut up some fruit?” Jimin asks you, “Taehyung went to the bathroom. He’s lying about his stomach hurting, he just doesn’t want to help.”

“Classic.” You stand from the sofa, already heading towards Naomi and Jeremy’s kitchen with Jimin following behind. “Strawberries too?”

“There weren’t any that looked perfectly juicy, sorry.” Jimin smiles sheepishly. “I wanted to get you some, I promise, but I wasn’t going to bring some that weren’t good enough.” 

“Ah.” You click your tongue, “Well, what can you do.”

“So you admit you’d want something only if it were good enough?” Jimin says lightly, he comes from behind you as you reach for a pineapple. “I’ll cut this.” 

“No I can—wait,” You think about what he just said for a moment before you snort. “Jimin,” You turn to face him, his body only inches from yours. “Did you just compare yourself to strawberries?” 

“I don’t know.” He laughs but there’s something a little sad in his words. “Did I?”

“Anyway,” You look into his eyes, all teasing gone. “You’re the only one who thinks you’re not good enough.” Then you turn back around to face the counter before you’re attempting to cut the fruit. 

“That so?” Jimin whispers, “Maybe I’m still working on it then.” 

September 

You cannot believe it’s already the night before the wedding. You, Naomi, Dae and Naomi’s sister are treating yourselves to a spa day/night. You’re all wearing cute, rejuvenating face masks, eating snacks and giving cheers with full glasses of champagne.

“I can’t believe tomorrow is the day.” Naomi chugs back her entire glass of champagne. “Is anyone else freaking out or just me?”

“It’s normal to freak out.” You chuckle, “It’s a big day.”

“I just keep thinking…like, every time Jer does something that makes me feel annoyed I’m like…oh my god, can I deal with this for the rest of my life?!” 

Dae starts giggling at this, “I had a thought like that recently when Hoseok started vacuuming our bedroom while I was still sleeping.”

“He’s a menace.” You snort, “My condolences.”

“Thanks.”

“Guys, I’m serious. I’m freaking out. This is a huge life thing and I’m just…wondering how people do this and they’re so sure. How do I know this is right?” Naomi sits down onto a chair. “I love him. And I know that there probably isn’t anyone else out there for me…not like how he is. Actually, yeah.” She kind of smiles now. “He is for me. Just like I know I’m for him…but I’m afraid one day he will just get tired of me.” She laughs. “I don’t even think my concern about him doing annoying stuff is even about me finding him annoying. I think I’m just afraid he might think that about me.” 

“He lives with Bacon.” You tell her with a smirk, “No one is more annoying than that guy and we all love him. Trust me, if he can be best friends with that dog…you’re a walk in the park.”

“Did you just call my dog annoying?”

“That’s beside the point.” 

“Naomi,” Naomi’s sister hands her another glass of champagne, “Answer this one question.”

“Which is?”

“If you called off this wedding, would Jeremy still be the one?”

“Huh?” Naomi looks around, “Of course he would be.”

“Then you know you’re ready for marriage.” She tells her, “Chug the drink.”

“I’m confused.” Dae admits, “How is that—”

“If you can envision your life with a person even without marriage then there’s a good chance they’re the perfect person to marry. You can still be happy, still satisfied and content because you just want to be with that person. Marriage just has perks. It’s not the thing that solidifies love.” Her sister says softly, “If you can confidently say with or without the big day that comes tomorrow…that he and you could still be happy and in love—then you’re marrying the right person.”

“Dang, I wish I had an older sister.” Dae looks at Naomi’s sister with heart eyes.

“Oh come on, Dae.” You chuckle, “Taehyung is a master of advice—especially when it comes to life and love.” 

Dae nibbles on her lips for a moment, “You’re not wrong. Taehyung is the definition of a cool, understanding and protective brother. Even though he complains a lot.” She laughs. “But he gets disturbed easily.”

“And whose fault is that?” You ask with a straight face. “It’s your life mission to make him scold you.”

“I’m the baby in my family it’s like literally my life’s purpose to be a brat.” She shrugs nonchalantly. 

“At least she’s self-aware.” Naomi nods. “Anyway, I’m sure Jer and the guys are having a blast.”

“Speaking of the guys…wait, y/n.” Dae whips her head in your direction. “Any progress with Jimin?” 

“You mean with his therapy? He’s doing so well—”

“No, with you, dummy.”

Your cheeks heat up, face feeling hot and you’re grateful you’re wearing a face mask that seems to be cooling you down. “With me?” You point at yourself. “I don’t even know. It hasn’t been a topic of conversation in so long. I’m trying not to think about it. I don’t even know if he’s even thought about it.”

“You’re still into one another, right?” Naomi asks. “I mean, obviously. Friends or whatever the hell, you guys are attached at the hip.”

“We don’t cross any lines.” You admit as you take your own seat. “There’s moments sometimes where its unspoken, I guess. Tension. Innocent flirting. But it never goes further.” 

“You sound disappointed.” Dae calls you out but you wave her off.

“No.” You say, “Not really. I’m just wondering how long I can keep it up.”

“You mean…how long until you move on?” Naomi asks, brows pinched together. “Nobody would blame you, you know? Not even him.”

“I don’t know that I could ever move on.” You chuckle quietly, “I don’t want to rush him but I can’t read his mind…I don’t…I’m respecting the boundaries but I think because we have both had this mind set for so long it’s almost awkward or strange to bring it up now again.” 

“That’s realistic.” Naomi assures you, “You’ve been trying to be cool, and chill and understanding but I think you also get the free pass of being demanding of some answers.”

“Getting answers means there’s a chance I won’t like what I get.”

“Then at least you’ll know.” Dae cuts in. “Taehyung can be pretty smart sometimes. You guys really are soulmates and maybe you’re blind to it but Jimin is probably on the verge of exploding. His eyes are never not on you, y/n. And the story that is the two of you…well, it’s not going to end with an answer you won’t like. It just means it’s not the end of the story yet.”

“Can I offer some advice?” Naomi’s sister questions you and you nod your head frantically.

“Jimin is the one with thick lips and an ass, right?”

“….Yeah.”

“My advice is that you confess and claim. Hurry or I will.” 

“Dude!” Naomi shouts at her sister. “Anyway, the guys are doing their weird little manly men tradition. Camping or whatever.”

“Yeah, my brother said it’s going to be an epic boys night.”

“Jimin mentioned it too,” You chime in, “Classic testosterone building.”

“Ugh, great.” Naomi rolls her eyes. “They’re probably punching each other right now in the face as we speak to see who is the manliest. I swear if Jeremy shows up tomorrow with a black eye…on our fucking wedding day.”

-The guys-

“We know why we’re here,” Taehyung gestures around, a proud grin on his face. “We’re celebrating our fellow brother, Jeremy.” 

“Brothers.” Jeremy nods towards the guys. “It’s my last night being an unmarried man and there’s no one else I’d rather spend the day with. As men, we have certain duties…”

“Exactly.” Taehyung throws his hands on his hips. “Do you guys know why we’re here?” 

“To do manly shit, right?” Jungkook starts hopping in his spot. “I’m so fucking excited.”

“Exactly. I don’t know anyone else who achieves this level of fucking gloriousness.” Taehyung suddenly bumps Jungkook’s chest with his own. “Men!” 

“That’s us.” Hoseok says proudly, “Reporting for duty.”

“Right, right. Reporting for duty.” Jimin laughs. 

“Is this fucking funny to you?” Taehyung asks with a scowl, he comes toe to toe with Jimin. “Say it like you mean it.”

“Taehyung.”

“Right, sorry. I’m just really excite—anyway, men!” Taehyung looks up at the sky, “I think we all know exactly what we want to achieve tonight.”

All the guys start nodding along as they look at one another, “We do.” Jeremy says. 

“Hell yeah!” Jungkook keeps jumping up and down. “What’s first? Going to cut down some trees and chop up wood for a fire? Fire we make from scratch? What else? Oh! Catch our food! Climb a mountain?!”

“Oh Jungkook.” Hoseok puts a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “This is way better than just climbing a damn mountain. It’s more than you could ever imagine.”

“In a way, we will climb mountains,” Taehyung sighs out, “In a way, we are starting fires from scratch.” 

“You have no idea, Jungkook…” Jeremy starts filling him in, “But we’re about to exceed anything you thought being manly was. This is crazier, more intense, maybe even illegal and forbidden…maybe even a fucking crime.”

“Holy shit are we going to kill some—”

One hour later

“And that’s how I,” Jeremy is forced to pause when he hiccups. “How I knew Naomi was the one.”

Jungkook stares at him in disbelief, expression angry while his eyes look teary. “Give me that.” He yanks the bottle of liquor from Jeremy’s hands and takes an aggressive sip. “That had no fucking business being that beautiful.”

All the boys heads turn towards Taehyung when they hear him sniffling, “WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?!” he yells out, the tiny tent they built barely holding it together. 

“Don’t force it, dude.” Jeremy slurs.

“So what?” Taehyung cries out dramatically, “I’m supposed to just pretend that I’m not constantly looking for the love of my life?!”

“Sometimes you find the love of your life when you least expect it.” Jimin says.

“Exactly.” Hoseok adds, “That’s how that works.” 

“Mhm.” Jeremy takes the bottle of liquor back and takes a gulp.

Taehyung looks at everyone incredulously, “Oh.” He starts laughing. “That is rich coming from you guys! This is what privilege looks like.” He is now the one stealing away the bottle and gulping some back. When he swallows the nasty liquid, he wipes his mouth before pointing at his friends. “Your love stories are basically written like romance novels with the most basic tropes. You,” He points at Jeremy, “Best friends to lovers. Boring! And you,” He points at Hoseok now, “Enemies to lovers. How creative! And you!” He points at Jimin, “Some sort of weird exes story.”

“Wait, what about me?” Jungkook points at himself innocently.

“The perfect author hasn’t found you yet, buddy. But what’s my story?! Huh?! Don’t tell me I’m just some side character in your stories and I don’t even get my own book?!” 

“What the hell is he talking about?” Jeremy whispers towards Hoseok, “I literally don’t understand anything he’s saying.”

“Same.” Hoseok shrugs.

“Guys, we all know Taehyung has a really interactive imagination.” Jimin offers Taehyung a pity smile, “Listen, I just know you’re going to have the most epic love story of all.” 

“I think so too. If we stick with your logic, you might even be the main character here.” Hoseok reaches for the bottle. 

“Yeah well…wait,” Taehyung pauses as he ponders thoughtfully. “Actually, you guys might be onto something…maybe this has actually been about me the entire time…”

“Anyway,” Jungkook takes the bottle from Hoseok, “If this night has taught me anything it’s that the most important thing is to love ourselves.”

“Fucking exactly. That’s step one!” Jeremy shouts.

“With that being said…” Jungkook glances around the tent, nerves making him feel crazy…”…I’m going to quit my parent’s company!” He suddenly blurts. “Yeah! Fuck that place! I’m going to quit!”

“Wait, for real? You’re serious?” Jimin asks, smile growing on his face. “You’re sure you want to do that dude?”

“You basically just asked me if I’m sure that I want to love myself and be happy.” Jungkook gulps some liquor back. “I want to live my life.”

“Hell yeah, brother.” Jeremy nods in approval. “No matter what happens, we support you.”

“Yeah, we do.” Taehyung grips Jungkook’s shoulder and rocks him around. “This is brotherhood.”

“Fucking boys night.” Hoseok grins to himself. 

“But uh,” Taehyung clears his throat. “Speaking of loving ourselves and what not…Jimin.”

Jimin lifts his head with wide eyes, innocent expression on his face as he cutely questions Taehyung’s sudden call out, “Huh?”

“What’s um, what’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on…” Taehyung smiles at his best friend. “You’ve beat yourself up long enough, don’t you think?” 

Hoseok reaches for Jimin, palm flat against his back as his starts to rub it. “Yeah, dude.” 

Jimin looks at his friends, eyes dancing around the tent and he sees their eyes. They’re filled with concern…hope…and maybe endearment. His eyes land on the bottle in Jungkook’s lap and he points at it, laser focused. “Gimme.”

Jungkook wastes no time in passing Jimin the bottle.

Jimin wraps his lips around the bottle they’ve been sharing, the last drops remaining sliding down his throat. He’s quiet, still feeling the eyes of his friends on him. He’s thinking. The same thoughts that have been swarming for a little while. He knows his own answers. Small smile begins lifting his lips before he raises his head and locks eyes with each of his friends.

“Yeah, dude.” Jimin repeats Hoseok’s words. His expression alone tells his friends everything they need to know. 

Hoseok rubs his back for only a moment longer before the softest most genuine smile begins growing on his face, love and pride filling his veins. Hoseok glances around the tent, all the boys forming their own smiles. And Hoseok spills the words they’re all thinking so slowly and intentional. “Boys night.” He says calmly and quietly. 

Jimin nods his head, grin growing. “Boys night.” 

“…Boys night. Boys night. Boys night.” Jeremy starts chanting and then Taehyung joins him. “Boys night! Boys night!” The voices inside the tent gets louder and louder. 

“Boys night!” Jungkook joins with pure excitement. 

Just a small tent under the moonlight, surrounded by trees, is quite possibly the manliest men. Well, according to them.

Present Day

Watching one of your best friends walk down the aisle to join hands with one of your other best friends and seeing them smile all giddily with glossy eyes as they vow to one another about a long life of love is surreal. You and Hoseok are probably the most emotional ones here at this entire venue. You don’t even know how you’re going to handle Hoseok’s wedding one day and he’s thinking the same about you. 

Naomi and Jeremy seal the deal with a sweet kiss and everyone’s going wild, clapping and hollering for the two lovebirds. You were nervous for no reason earlier when you watched yourself in the mirror, reflecting on the last year—the wedding has been perfect. 

Once the ceremony ends, the night continues on to the reception. A big place. Open bar. Dance floor and round tables with beautiful decorations scattered around. Families joined, friends gathered and love so thick in the air. 

Taehyung is walking through the lively crowd of people of friends and family as he grips the drink he just got from the bar. He sees you and Jimin chatting in the distance, your bodies close together, laughing and touching so innocently. Dummies, he thinks to himself as he smiles. He wants nothing more than for the two of you to have this kind of day of your own. But he’s also wishing he could imagine this kind of day for himself as well. In his dreams, because he thinks he is officially giving up. He even sees Jungkook in the distance flirting with a cute girl. 

“When will it be my turn?!” He mocks himself, groaning out loud, not even realizing his own volume. 

“Please.” A feminine voice suddenly can be heard. “That’s what I’m asking.” 

Taehyung’s eyes lower to a girl sitting down at the nearest table to him, she lifts her drinks in some sort of depressing cheers. “Want to take a seat at the losers table?” She asks him with a playful smile. Taehyung looks around the venue before shrugging and taking a seat.

“Trust me, no one is more loser than me.” Taehyung mumbles, taking a sip of his drink.

“You sure?” The mystery girl raises a brow in a challenge. “This is my eighth wedding this year.” She counters confidently, “Imagine having that many friends in love?! I set up half of them. I deserve a fairy tale too.” She pouts before taking a sip of her own drink. 

“God, I know exactly what you mean!” Taehyung nods his head enthusiastically, “My friends all make fun of be for being the biggest believer in soulmates yet they all have one but me?! Make it make sense?!” 

“Unbelievable!” The girl shouts, egging him on with her own woes. “Maybe we’re meant to die alone.”

“I’m starting to think so.” He agrees before taking another sip.

“Love is this magical thing and we will never know.”

“It’s literally the best thing to exist!” Taehyung shouts, “Right?!”

“Hallelujah, amen.” The girl sighs before they clink their glasses together in some depressing cheers. “Why aren’t there more people like us? We deserve it the most!”

“Exactly!” Taehyung starts getting more riled up. “Where is my me?! And where’s your you?!”

“Someone like us?” The girl shakes her head, expressing how impossible that is. “They obviously don’t exist. As if we would meet anyone who share our ideals.”

“Fucking exactly, my dude.” Taehyung takes another sip. 

“It wouldn’t happen,” She drags out her words, completely believing them. Excited to know someone she can share this pain with. “We would never meet…” She says the words slowly, blinking at nothing before she turns her head towards Taehyung. Her eyebrows start to furrow and he gazes back at her, his own brows pinching together as realization starts hitting them both. 

“…Wait…a…minute…” They both say slowly in unison as their eyes narrow at one another. 

They keep staring and staring before Taehyung quickly shakes his head and he laughs, “No…that…that can’t be.” 

“Of course not!” The girl rushes to say as well, “That’s ridiculous! We just met.” 

But then Taehyung narrows his eyes again, “…But what if…”

“Yeah…I mean…” She looks at him suspiciously as well. But then Taehyung snorts.

“We don’t even know each other’s names this is,” Then he suddenly becomes serious. “Taehyung.” He extends his hand out and she takes it immediately.

“Marisol.” 

“…Nice to meet you.”

“…Likewise…” She keeps her hand in his palm and they take a moment to gaze at the other.

“Did you feel that?” Taehyung suddenly asks.

“If you’re talking about the bolt of fucking electricity when our hands touched then hell yeah.” 

“…Are we…”

“…Soulmates?” She finishes the question. 

They stare at each other again and then they both let go on each other’s hands as they start cracking up, heads shaking at the idea.

“God, that’s so ridiculous.” Marisol waves him off before reaching for her drink again.

“For real.” Taehyung laughs alongside her. “Anyway,” He raises his glass towards her. “Cheers.”

“Cheers, fellow loser.” She brings her glass to her lips as they lock eyes, both smiling as they drink. 

~

You can hear lively dance music in the distance as you finish drying your hands in the venues bathroom. You open the door to exit when you run into someone. Like, literally. 

“Sorry, I—” You pause, eyes wide as you eye the girl you just bumped into before you’re grinning. “Lucy?”

“y/n!” Lucy squeals in excitement.

“Wow,” You eye her over, “I almost didn’t recognize you.” You say, she sheepishly tugs at the ends of her hair. Her blonde hair looks a couple shades lighter and her once long locks have been completely chopped off. Her hair curls right below her chin now. 

“Wanted something new.” She admits cutely. “But I’m so happy I ran into you! The ceremony was so beautiful, oh my god, I cried a little, I won’t lie!”

“Girl, you’re telling me.” You chuckle.

“So how are you?” Lucy asks, “I’ve really missed you guys.”

“I’m good.” You smile at her. “We miss you too. Are you doing well?”

“More than that.” She admits, “You’ll never believe it…but I’ve been offered to study below a pretty big deal designer in Paris for 6 months. I’ve accepted…I leave in November.”

“What!” You quickly bring her in for a hug. “That’s awesome, Lucy!”

“It is.” She says in your chest. “Things are good.” 

You pull away from her, “I’m happy for you. Truly.”

“Thanks.” She grins,  goofy smile on her face that you haven’t seen in so long. “Anyway, I really got to pee! Catch you later, girl.” 

“See ya!” 

You watch as she disappears in the bathrooms and you feel your heart glowing. Despite everything…you’ve always just wished her well. You’re glad it’s come true. 

You walk down the hall, your short heels clicking against the tiled floors and you follow the sound of music into the main area. And just when you thought you were done running into people…

“Well, well, well.” Min Yoongi. “If it isn’t a pretty stranger.” He shows you an adorable smile before you’re laughing and giving him a hug. “Namjoon and Emiko are right behind me.” He tells you, you both look behind and you see the two approaching. 

“Namjoon!” You feel your lips spread into a wide smile. He looks as handsome as he ever has. His smile grows on his own face and it’s the one you’ve always known—that genuine fucking smile. 

“y/n.” He says your name with ease, “You look great.” 

“You’re one to talk.” You tease him before you’re being scooped into a firm hug. “And Emiko, you look gorgeous.”

“Wow,” She blushes, fingers brushing back her black, silky hair. “Thank you. You do too!” 

“I’m glad you guys were able to make it.” You tell them all. “Have you said hi to everyone else?”

“Yeah, not too long ago.” Namjoon says. “I’m glad those two finally got together.” He laughs as Yoongi nods along with a smile. “Being reunited with everyone has been a gift.” 

“We feel the same.” You tell him honestly. “Anyway, I’m sure they’re wondering where I’m at. I’ve felt my phone vibrate at least ten times since I’ve slipped away to the bathroom.”

“I’m guessing we can all assume its Hoseok.” Namjoon chuckles.

“Naturally.” You playfully roll your eyes. “It was great seeing you guys though. Let’s all dance later!” 

“Sure.” Emiko grins at you. 

And then you’re walking off to find the rest of your friends.

“Going to use the bathroom, be right back.” Yoongi tells Namjoon and Emiko.

“Sounds good.” Namjoon waves him off, then he catches Emiko’s eye. “What?”

“Nothing.” She sings out. “I was wondering how’d you react when seeing her.” She teases him, “Do you think her and that guy are together?”

“Jimin?” Namjoon raises a brow, “Hmm, I don’t know.”

“You aren’t upset about it?”

Namjoon chuckles at this, “Why would I be?” He smiles at her. “I’ll defend her love decisions!” 

“That so?” Emiko continues to tease.

“Ah, she went on a date with me the day she saw Jimin again for the first time in five years. You know, I bet a whole book could be made about her and that situation.” He laughs, “Maybe I should write it.”

“Going to venture into a new genre?” Emiko giggles, “Okay, what would their book be called? Something like ‘Still in love’” She jokes but Namjoon thinks about it thoughtfully.

“No…” he ponders, “Maybe something like ‘Love Again’ instead.”

“Oh, cute.” Emiko nods her head. “Okay, if we had to have a romance novel about the two of us what would it be called?” 

Namjoon’s eyes expand slightly before he’s titling his head. “Huh?”

“A good title would probably be ‘Oblivious’ hm?” She continues to joke and tease. Namjoon stares at her for a moment. He’s not as oblivious as she’s making him out to be so he smiles before responding.

“Or maybe something cheesy like, ‘First Love’” He tells her with a dimpled grin. But she just drops her smile slightly, blinking at him slightly confused.

“Ah, that phase I had back in like middle school where I ‘hated’ you? I didn’t actually think you had cooties.” He chuckles, “I was just a dumb kid who didn’t know how to handle his feelings. Kids, you know?” Namjoon shrugs and Emiko stares at him while blushing. “But I like to think I’ve matured since then.” 

“W-What—”

“Alright, I’m back!” Yoongi walks between them, “Should we get some drinks now?”

~

“Oh my god, can you believe it?” You lean against Hoseok’s body, swaying into your best friend before he’s wrapping an arm over your shoulder.

“Believe what?” He grins, “That our best friends are all grown up?”

“Exactly. Can you believe we had no idea these two were going to get together?”

“Honestly, I’m still in shock.” Hoseok laughs loudly, “All they did was bicker!” 

“According to everyone it was sexual tension.”

“Literally there was nothing sexy about it.” He deadpans and you burst into laughter.

“God, I am so glad we agree.” 

You two are leaning against a cold, metal railing that overlooks a calm pond. There’s a few tables set up outside but everyone’s indoors, dancing the night away. You and Hoseok found yourselves outside, enjoying the cool late September breeze, escaping the inside crowd.

“Well, if it isn’t the two most important people in the world.” You hear Naomi’s voice from behind you and Hoseok. “What are you two doing out here?”

“Escaping.” You say, sticking your tongue out.

“Hell yeah. Us too.” Jeremy grins, “Can you believe those people in there? So much energy.”

“Pretty gross, if you ask me.” Naomi giggles, “I wish everyone could have agreed to take a nap before getting this party started.” Naomi and Jeremy stand on either side of you and Hoseok. All of you leaning against the railing, eyes on the water. 

“Should we ditch this lame party and have a movie night instead?” You tease.

“God, only if we watch a horror movie so Hoseok can entertain all of us.” Naomi joins in.

“You guys are assholes.” Hoseok complains as he knocks his hip into yours.

“Oh come on, Hobi, we love you.” You knock back into him. “Hurry, tell us you love us back.”

“Not sure you guys deserve my love.” 

“Bruh.” Jeremy whines. “I didn’t even say anything!”

“Fine, you have my love, Jer. But the two of you are on thin ice.” Hoseok looks as you and Naomi before you’re all laughing. “But really…I do love all of you. Feels like an appropriate day to be cheesy.”

“Agreed.” You smile, eyes still on the pond. “This is life, huh?”

“What else would it be?” Jeremy snorts. 

“You know what I mean.” You turn your head to glare at him but then you soften. “We’re at the part of life where things grow and change. It’s natural to grow apart too.” You say more quiet, “We will probably see less and less of one another. Get busy with so many things. Life, you know?”

“I guess you aren’t wrong.” Naomi mumbles. “As sad as it sounds.” 

“Yeah…” Hoseok agrees softly, his arm tightening around you as his other arm goes around Jeremy. “We’re still family though.”

“Always will be.” You say.

It’s quiet between the four of you for a few minutes, everyone staring out into the world, moonlight shining over the pond as you all soak in this moment you’re sure you’ll cherish for the rest of your lives. 

“Wait…” You suddenly blurt.

“Huh?” Hoseok glances at you, “What’s up?”

“Yo.” You look at your friends, “We’re literally stuck together dudes. Less and less my ass! We are stuck with each other Monday through Friday, bitches!”

“Oh shit.” Hoseok suddenly grins, “That’s so true.”

It’s quiet for another moment before you’re all dancing in your spots and collectively yelling, ‘Ayy!’

“We’re in this shit until retirement, huh?” Naomi smiles so hard her face hurts. 

“No doubt.” Jeremy agrees, “And in this economy? Might be forever.”

“I guess I could do forever with you guys.” You laugh.

It’s quiet again until Naomi detaches herself to look at the three of you more seriously, a delicate fondness in her eyes. “But seriously the four of us…” Naomi pauses because her voice cracks a little and she starts laughing at how ridiculous she feels for getting emotional. But you just smile at her, nodding along because you completely understand.

“Yeah.” You say simply because you get it and so do the guys. 

~

It’s been one magical night. You feel happy and loved and grateful. But you have no idea that the most important part of this day has yet to happen. Your friends have gone back inside, Hoseok being challenged by Dae for a dance off and Naomi and Jeremy explaining they should probably socialize with their guests. 

You’re taking this moment to just breathe this late September air and watch how the moon grows brighter. 

“Hey.” You jump a little at the sudden sound of Jimin’s voice. “Whoops,” He chuckles softly, eyeing you over. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Jeez, Jimin.” You throw a hand over your heart. “Warn me next time.” 

“Sorry, sorry.” He smirks at you, “You must have been pretty lost in your head to not have heard me come out here.”

“Not lost.” You smile. “Admiring this beautiful night.”

“Ah,” He comes closer to you, standing by your side before he’s looking out over the water. “It is a beautiful night.” 

“Mhm.”

“Wow,” Jimin turns to face you, looking offended. “That was your cue to tell me I’m beautiful! Drunk you would have done it.”

You laugh at this, “Well, I’m not drunk. So I guess you’re out of luck.”

“Damn, and I thought I had pretty good luck.”

“Maybe another time.” You tease him, playfully bumping into his side. “We haven’t really gotten to talk the last few days since we’ve been so busy with wedding stuff.”

“Trust me, I’ve felt your absence.” Jimin admits, voice soft and low. 

You stare ahead at the water, gulping because his words somehow always affect you so stupidly. Your heart is already pounding in your chest and it makes you feel silly. “Have you now?” You finally ask, voice calmer than you thought you could manage.

“Of course.” Jimin responds, “Is it not obvious that I’m incapable of living without you?” He asks but it sounds like a harmless joke. “If it’s not obvious what can I do to make it that way?” He turns his head to gaze at you. “What kinds of things should I say or do?” He asks lowly, voice smooth and charmed. 

You meet his eyes and try to swallow the anxious lump in your throat. “I don’t know.” You chuckle awkwardly, “Isn’t saying it just like that enough?”

“Hmm.” Jimin licks his lips before continuing, “Is it enough?” 

“I-I don’t know.” You say again. 

“You do know.” He steps a little closer to you, “You’ve been…”

“I’ve been…?”

“Amazing.” He says in one breath. “But that word doesn’t even feel like enough.”

“Oh?”

“y/n…I’m okay.” He decides to say, his eyes on yours, barely even blinking. “I’m okay.” 

“What do you—”

You stop when Jimin turns his head to face the water again, a deep sigh leaving his mouth before he’s swallowing a lump in his own throat. “I want to tell you…” He begins, voice shakier than before. “That I am finally the man I need to be for me…because,” He pauses. “Because I’m the man I want to be for you.” 

You stare at him, speechless, eyes on his side profile, trying to process what he’s saying. 

“I don’t have that darkness eating at me anymore.” He spills truthfully, “I only see light.”

Of course he does, you think. You blink at him, still rendered speechless. 

“So much light.” He swallows.

Of course there’s light. Because he deserves the fucking sun.

Jimin turns to face you again, eyes glassy and a smile so heartwarming you might melt right here, your liquid body dripping into the pond.

“I can’t not be with you anymore.” He admits, breaths heavier as he tries to come up with more to say. “If you’re ready then—”

Finally, after this long year…you are feeling his plush lips against yours as you lean into him with your rushed kiss. He’s surprised for only a moment. His eyes slowly shutting as he kisses you back, hands feeling your waist when he pulls you in closer. But the kiss falls apart quickly, your emotions bubbled over, all you can do is exhale into his mouth before you’re leaning away with teary eyes on his.

“You-you’re okay?” You ask, hands going to his face, cupping his cheeks tenderly. “You’re okay?” You ask again, voice cracking.

Jimin’s bated breaths are hard to miss. He tries to smile for you, his own emotions spilling. “I’m not okay, y/n. I’m good.” 

“You are?” You ask, in an almost pleasant disbelief. “Do you still—”

“Love you?” He chuckles, sniffling a little before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your lips. “With all my heart. We’re fated.” 

You laugh, despite wanting to cry. “Cheesy.” You push him back playfully, “You sound like Taehyung.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Jimin rubs his hands on your waist.

“God, not at all. He might be the best one of all of us.” 

“Yeah.” Jimin nods. “He is our soulmate, after all.”

“Don’t let him hear that, we will never hear the end of it.” You giggle, hands still cupping his cheeks. “I also love you, by the way.”

“I know that.” Jimin brushes his nose against yours, “You’re going to love me again and again.”

“Forever.” You confirm. “So…”

“Hm?”

“I’m pretty sure we could leave if we wanted.”

“Oh could we?” Jimin leans further into you again, his lips pressing over yours as he smiles. “You going to let me take you home, baby?”

“Going to let you take me anywhere.” You reply, voice laced in silk now.

“Paradise.” He says, “Going to take you to paradise.”

~

God, you don’t think you’ve ever known another tongue like this. Wet and delicious, sliding up your inner thigh, teeth nipping the fragile skin. Your fingers dig into your sheets, the soft material not enough to handle the violence you’re unleashing on them. You’re not convinced you can make it out alive. Not with a man promising paradise, promising heaven. 

Jimin’s got a thumb spreading the tops of your folds, exposing the place that promises your sinful death. He only admires your heat, arousal dripping to your mattress and he takes a mental picture. He wants to remember your pretty pussy like this—before he ruins it. 

“We don’t have to take our time, Jimin.” Your hand goes to the top of his head, fingers threading through his hair before you tug it. “I’m so desperate for you.” 

“I love those kinds of words, babe.” Jimin kisses the inside of your thigh, dark eyes on you. “You can say whatever words you want…but that won’t change what I do with you. But I encourage it, it just makes me harder.” He tells you, his hips rutting against the mattress. “Say you’re desperate. Talk about how badly you need my cock inside you or you might die. Go ahead,” Another kiss, but this time closer to your core. “Say it so I can get so hard that I come all over your sheets, baby.” 

“Jimin…” You whine his name and he only smiles at you, sly and forbidden. 

“Look at you.” He mocks you sweetly, “Looks like you’re going to fucking fall apart just from this.” 

Your chest is heaving. He isn’t wrong. You probably do look like that since that’s how it feels. You’re so fucking sensitive, you’re so fucking pathetically sensitive. 

“I could suck your clit for 30 seconds and I bet you’d fucking shake from a quick, pathetic orgasm, huh?” Jimin teases, his tongue poking further from his lips. He keeps his eyes on you when he finally uses it. Uses his tongue in the place that’s going to kill you. 

“Fuck, Jimin.” You breathe roughly, body tense from how insane you’re going. He stares up as you, eyes with flames burning inside. He presses his tongue against your core, a ridiculous but perfect amount of pressure as he drags it up towards your clit. You’re not going to survive and you sure as hell aren’t going to last.

Jimin, using that same amount of pressure, circles his tongue expertly, making you cry out. Making you want to scream. And he does what he teased you with…he wraps his luscious lips around your sensitive nub and he sucks on it. Your legs immediately react, heels of your feet digging into Jimin’s back. He groans into your cunt, sucking while his tongue fucks you into another reality. 

He said 30 seconds but you cannot even confidently say it’s going to be that much…you’re feeling like this is the first time. First time you’ve ever been touched. First time you’re being introduced into a new world of overwhelming pleasure. You’re moaning, high, low, whimpers, whines and everything in between. 

And then you gasp, heels digging deeper into his back when two thick fingers push inside your entrance. 

“Oh, fuck.” You cry out, eyes slamming shut even though you want to watch him. Those two fingers curl and explore…and you cannot keep this impending explosion of pleasure at bay any longer. Fingers tugging at Jimin’s hair, you cry his name over and over until you feel yourself get hit with a rush of heat. Fire trialing across your entire body as this orgasm hits you in waves. 

Jimin lets you use his face to ride it out, your moans a melody to this rhythm. When you’re finally relaxing, Jimin backs away, satisfied, sinister grin on his face. When his fingers leave your dripping hole, so does your sanity.

“What did I say?” Jimin crawls up your body, voice taunting. “You’d be shaking from an orgasm that you so pathetically welcomed.”

“Because I’m so desperate for you, Jimin.” You pant, completely worn and out of breath.

“Keep up the desperation, baby.” He strokes his cock, “Because I have yet to fuck you.”

“No condom.” You moan, “Fuck it. No condom.” You tell him again, “I’m good about my birth control…fuck me with nothing between us.”

“You just want my cum filling you up, don’t you? God, you’re so dirty, baby.”

“Yeah.” You nod, your fingers going down to his member, stroking his length yourself. His eyes roll to the back of his head at the contact. “Need your cum inside me, want to feel it dripping out, want to feel the evidence of your pleasure mixing with mine.”

“That’s something a slut would say, baby.” Jimin’s hips jolt forward when you squeeze the head of his cock. “Is that what you are for me, hm?”

“Find out.” Your breaths are erratic, smile on your lips as you guide his cock to your core. Jimin allows you to tease the tip of his dick, the swollen head dipping into your hole, stretching you with every little push.

“More.” Jimin is the one begging, “Let me push inside more.”

“Yeah.” You nod frantically, whines leaving your mouth. “Bury yourself inside me.”

Jimin’s hands go to your hips as he concentrates on sliding further into you, inch by inch slowly disappearing as your pussy sucks him in. “Yeah, fuck.” He pants, body falling further on you, his face hovering above yours. “This is how I’m going to fuck you, yeah?”

“Mm, yeah.” You cry, his cock finally fully inside, his pelvis meeting yours. “Move.”

Jimin says nothing, he just pulls his hips back, his length brushing your insides before he’s thrusting back in. He’s breathing so heavily as he starts repeating these motions. Your fingers are now clawing at his back, he groans right in your ear at the slight pain he feels from your nails. But he doesn’t hate it. 

“More.” You beg, “More, more. Fuck, Jimin, more.” 

He’s motivated. Hips slapping against yours, fucking you properly now. He’s pushing in and out, forcing his hips to grind into you with such depth and precision. He’s feeling the tightness in his balls and he’s struggling to keep his sounds from sounding so incredibly pitiful. And it is so fucking sexy to your ears. 

“Jimin, fuck…” You whimper, “I’m going to come again…from this alone, god, I’m going to come…I’m so cl—”

“Yeah?” Jimin starts fucking you harder. “Thank god. The way you’re squeezing me, baby…” He can’t finish that sentence…your walls close in on him as you feel the high of pleasure possess your body. You’re entire body is tensing, back arching and Jimin can’t control it when his cock reaches the end and he’s in euphoria. He’s coming. Hot cum creating art inside you. 

You’re both panting, you’re both moaning, crying, sinning beyond repair. You’re both in the paradise he promised. 

“Shit,” Jimin collapses, trying his hardest not to crush you. “My love…” he kisses your neck, “I fucking love you, you know that?” He whispers. “This is day one.”

“Yeah?” You smile, breaths still erratic. “Good. I love you too.” 

~

“What time is it?” You murmur sleepily, pointer finger tracing little patterns on Jimin’s chest.

“Maybe like 3am.” He tells you softly, “You want to sleep?”

“No.” You chuckle. “But also yes.”

“You know,” Jimin sinks deeper into the sheets, body twisting so he can face you, eyes on yours. “Life is crazy.”

“For sure.” You say, lips curving up. “Everything happens for a reason though, right?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Fate or whatever.”

“Mm,” You nod. “I guess so.”

“You know how Mr. Smith left me the theatre?” Jimin gazes at you, softness in his features.

“Yeah?”

“I found a good person to sell it to.” He informs you, “He would like this guy.”

“Oh.” You blink at him in slight surprise. 

“I’m going to use the money to buy a house.” Jimin scoots closer to you, soft breaths hitting your lips. “How does that sound?”

“You’re asking me..?”

“Mhm.” He pecks your lips. “A home for us. We know we’re good at living together already,” He chuckles, “Been there, done that and what not.”

“Right.” You laugh, pecking his lips as well. “Might as well do it again.”

“Yeah, how do you think that sounds?”

“Sounds like fate.” Your hand goes to his cheek, thumb brushing against his smooth skin, “And you know what they say about it.”

“What?”

“It works pretty funny.” 

“You have no idea.” He grins once more before kissing you again and again. 

Well, maybe you’ve had an idea all along.

[red-riot-unbreakable-heart]

Shoto's First Kiss Timeline? Idk let's plot it out together

Gif Caption: Me and Shoto sitting together on the train, vibing. 💕

Hi All!!

If you're a fan of the Shoto's First Kiss series, Chapter 5 dropped at like 3:30 am EST this morning because I am an absolute HEATHEN and decided to have a late night/early morning editing session for 3 hours before posting. This was fun because I decided to add the whole Lisa Frank phone background scene for kicks and add a little more build up to the smut scene (I love a slowish burn...what can I say!?).

@brie-is-cheesy had some great questions in the comments of Chapter 5, I'm going to post it below and answer the best I can! I don't have a full answer to everything and I'm taking some ✨creative liberties ✨ here and there but lets see if I can clear some things up for my lovely readers!

Hiiiii, totally loved it; I was wondering when this is set? Like the timeline, I just got confused I'll leave the list of confusing things about the timeline,, I wrote about how much I love this in my reblog cuz this is awesome!! -since bnha is set in the mid to late 2100s I was wondering if the older songs they're listening to will include songs that are relatively new for us as of now? -when does this occur? Like you mentioned they're in their first year, and its after they've moved into the dorms but it's nearing the summer of next year, so is it after the war arc, or after the events of bnha entirely? Just wanted to ask! Thank you for the update!!<3 - brie-is-cheesy

Okay these are FAB questions and honestly I can't give you a straight answer to all of them!

Here's the background: So this story started out as a one shot - this past year, Shoto hasn't been one of my main MHA favorites. When I started the Red Riot Unbreakable Heart blog, my goal was to focus on what I've been calling "My Big Three." This includes Kirishima (lol thus my username), Hakws, and Hitoshi Shinsou (I love me an emo man). I was sprinkling in smutty one shots here and there involving other characters (ex. BakuDeku Smut: Hooking Up At A Pro Hero Gala and Beneath the Bookshelves | BakuDeku ). Shoto was one of those random one offs that I was like, huh why not!? But then I published Shoto's First Kiss (Part One) this one shot about Reader x Shoto totally took off in a way I wasn't expecting. Shoto resonates a lot with you all and the more I started writing for him, the more I grew to love him. He's so complex and in need of love and care. He has so much capacity for love!! I wanted to explore that more and figure out how he would act in his first encounters with intimacy and relationships. So I kept posting chapters, and started plotting out this wild story!

Timeline: When I started writing the one shot, I wanted the story to ambiguously take place in the 2nd or 3rd year when the characters were a little older. I was kind of working it in an AU where the war had vaguely happened and was over but everyone is okay and no one was injured/died/had their quirk impacted by AFO. In the context of Shoto's First Kiss chapter one - the war doesn't matter (at least if you re-read it I hope you don't find any plot holes mentioning the war!?). Also I have tried to say "Class A" instead of "Class 1A" because as I wrote more chapters, I still hadn't figured out what year we are in here.

Now that we're world building and have a more fleshed out story, here's what I'm thinking. Bare with me, we are going to need to suspend some disbelief here and I might need to go back and make some tweaks to previous chapters to keep everything in line with this line of thinking. But let's say this:

Timeline: The timeline takes place in the character's 1st year. I just combed through this timeline of MHA that someone put together on Reddit. I'm thinking this likely takes place at the end of Term 1. Final exams are coming up, and the students have heard a little about the training camp. Most of the MHA events so far are probably cannon in my fic universe, unless otherwise mentioned. The great thing for me is - most of MHA is in the context of Izuku's experiences, so there's a lot of wiggle room in the timeline for what could be happening between Shoto x The Reader. I haven't decided if the current chapters take place before or after Shoto/Izuku/Ida's encounter with Stain, because I can see some interesting plot points coming from that. I'll think about it!! This may change, but for purposes of continuity I think this could work as I move forward with my plotting!

Age: All the characters are at least 16. Let's just roll with that and take some creative liberties here. I'm aging everyone up.

The Dorms: In this fic universe, I pictured the students moving into the dorms at the start of the year. Like the dorms are just part of the normal UA experience - for all intents and purposes it's a boarding school.

The Songs: Okay this is a really interesting idea! I am literally just putting in playlists of music I like right now, I didn't think much about modern music flowing into the story. Lol would Honenuki listen to BRAT!? Maybe. I love him and think of him as a sweet chill cinnamon roll of a dude, though. I think he would be scandalized by Guess Featuring Billie Eilish. Or maybe he'd love it. He'd def love Chappell Roan, though. Dude is a sloot for Red Wine Super Nova and I just know it!

The Vibe: @ all of my beloved readers - I realize that this story means a lot to people, and I love that!! Even though we explore complex and serious subject matter at times, this is still a goofy silly story that I write for fun! Please don't hold me to these ideas that I'm throwing out in a semi-public brainstorm. I am but a simple fanfic writer who churns out most of the Shoto pages at midnight after I work two jobs. Shoto's First Kiss is a project that I write purely for fun and to build community with other adult MHA fans. I'm not like going to publish this as a book or put it on Patr*on behind a paywall or something. So let's keep it light! That being said, I love interacting with everyone so if there are fun questions that you think would be interesting for me to answer in this story, let me know! I'm very open to hearing thoughts and considering new ideas here :)

Okay okay SORRY FOR SO MUCH INFO! Thanks again @brie-is-cheesy for being so thoughtful in your reading and for asking these great questions! This is def going to help me guide the next few chapters of the story as I plot things out and as we get a satisfying next chapter in The Party arc. I'm going to post this reply on my Master List so we can all keep track of it and come back to it easily if needed.

As always, thanks for reading!! Sending good vibes to all ☺️

XOXO,

Red Riot Unbreakable Heart ❤️

Shoto's First Kiss Series:

Part 1: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋

Part 2: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 2

Part 3: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 3

Part 4: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 4

Part 5: Shoto Todoroki x Reader | First Kiss ❄️🔥💋 PART 5

My Master List

Red's Recos: If you're looking for more fun smutty stories from my writing desk, I'll share 3 of my all time favorites from my Master List. These are all fairly long and have a lot of sexual tension/build up with some satisfying smut scenes:

How to Suck Your Best Friend’s D*ck 🍆💋

BakuDeku Smut: Hooking Up At A Pro Hero Gala

A Long, *Hard* Night with Eijiro Kirishima

[thatblackravenclaw]

Pen Pals

a/n: you guys know how Andrew Garfield’s parents are British but he was born in L.A. but he still has a British accent that’s not extremely British with a little bit of an American twinge? that’s what the reader sounds like. also, i go by the grades of everyone in the books so Cho and the reader are a year older than the golden trio and a year younger than the twins. 

Blog Details | Let’s take a trip

Fred Weasley x Black!fem!reader (Ravenclaw)

warning(s): british slander bc im a raging american (RED WHITE AND BLUE MF THESE COLORS DON’T RUN BITCH lmfao please believe me when i say im joking), cursing, mention of drugs and alcohol use, tooth rotting fluff

word count: 3.3k

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“Are you writing to that British boy again?” I hear from over my shoulder.

“Yes, and have you heard of personal space?” We erupt in giggles as I push her away.

I close my notebook and move from my desk to my bed. The foot of my mattress is barricaded with boxes. I look around and see my childhood home become empty and filled with boxes and buckets. The walls that were once painted with polaroids of my friends and family from over the years is now back to its basic color of brown that was painted when I was born. My desk is no longer covered with knick-knacks and clutter. The room is just empty. I’m happy that my mom got promoted so my dad gets to go back to his hometown, but it’s going to be hard leaving a place I’ve spent ¾ of my life in.

My mom is a Magizoologist. She came to the United States 20 years ago for a business trip. My dad is a Dragonologist. Their paths crossed when she came to help take a look at a sick Dragon. He showed him how their sanction work and over time I guess they became close because 3 years later I was born.

We used to go back and forth between Illinois and England for about 4 and ½ years before mom decided to just move here. I guess the distance was just a little too much for them, so she decided to move here and now we’re moving back.

I lay down on the bed and stare at the ceiling. It’s scattered with glow in the dark stars that I begged for when I was 7 and ten years later, here they still stick. I’ve been asking dad for four years to take them down. He always said he’d get around to it.

The air feels dry, and my throat is scratchy. I’m trying my best to hold my tears at bay. I love England. It’s a second home to me. Whenever I’m out for summer break I go to my grandparents’ house in Norwich. This is different though. I’m going to be living there now. The British accent I had when I was younger has faded overtime to an American-British hybrid. I’ll surely be made fun of for it.

Maya lays down next to me. We’ve been best friends since the 3rd grade. Just the two of us against the world. Now I have to go through the rest of university without her.

“Maybe it won’t be bad. The worst part is going to be eating their food.” Her jab pulls a smile to the corner of my lips.

“I’ve heard the food at Hogwarts is actually pretty good.”

“Not possibly better than Ilvermony.”

“Never!” I dramatize the word with a gasp. Really selling it as if saying Hogwarts food is better than Ilvermony is a federal offense.

The dust settles and a silence washes over us. It’s a comfortable silence. Soaking in our last moments together. I know it’s not forever. I get to come back here on holiday, and she can use the floo network to visit me, but it won’t be the same. This is the person who has a key to my house because she’s considered family. The same person who that brings me an extra banana nut muffin every day before school just because she knows it’ll bring a smile to my face. I won’t get that anymore.

“What time are you guys leaving tomorrow?” Her head turns towards me, but I keep my eyes trained on the popcorn ceiling in fear that the tears I’ve been holding back will give me away.

“Early. I think 6. We’re meeting the realtor with the keys at 7, so we need to make sure that all of our stuff gets transported this in one fell swoop since we’re apperating there and apparently mom came up with a spell to have our stuff apperate to the new house.”

“Hm. Have you told British boy that you’re got accepted into Hogwarts?”

“Fred doesn’t even know what I look like. Let alone that I got accepted to the same school as him.”

“HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE?” I slap my hand over her mouth and shush her.

“Bitch, shut the fuck up. My parents are right down the hall and don’t know I have a pen pal. They said it was dangerous because people pretend to be someone they’re not, but what the hell?”

She pushes my hand off of her mouth and sits up. Her back meets my headboard and she straight ahead at the door.

“Do you know what he looks like?”

I nod my head yes before rolling off of the bed. I feel to the last page of my journal and find and find a polaroid of him and his brother George from when they went to something called The Quidditch World Cup. I do a quick look over before making my way back to the bed and offering my hand to Maya. She looks at the picture and you can almost see her eyes bulging out of their sockets.

“He has a twin brother?”

“No it’s just someone he met at school.” I resist the temptation to roll my eyes at her comment, but the attitude goes completely over her head.

“Is he single?”

“Maya!” I exclaim with my jaw dropped. “What? You can have a twin and I can’t?”

“Oh hush. You said yourself that you don’t even date white boys.”

“That was before I saw this one. Besides, he’s a ginger so he’s exempt from that statement.”

“I’m really going to miss you Maya.” We make eye contact for the first time in a while and her eyes soften.

“I’m gonna miss you too Angel.”

She looks down at her watch and tells me that it’s fifteen minutes to ten meaning it’s almost curfew. We share one last tearful goodbye as she walks out of my bedroom door for the last time.

.          .          .

Sure enough, at 5:45 my dad woke me up and told me it was time to get ready to leave. I had taken one last look around my room and made my way downstairs to meet my mother so we could all leave. Right as the clock struck 6, my parents let me grab the powder and be the first to see our new home.

I stood in the foyer and tried to convince myself that it isn’t the best house I’ve ever seen. It’s got a cottage core vibe going on, on the outside. It’s cozy, but big enough for all of us. I wanted so badly not to like it. We went to the backyard and there’s a small river filled with a family of ducks. To the right there’s something that looks like a shack, but bigger. My parents then explained to me it’s my own apartment. That’s when the smile broke across my face. I was finally getting my own space.

The house tour didn’t last long due to the tight schedule we are on. I ended up just waving my wand and letting the magic unpack my stuff as we were right back in the fireplace. Why? Because tomorrow is the first day of school and I have not done any school shopping. The stuff on the list differs a little bit from the shopping list we had for Ilvermony so dad thought it best to wait until we got here. We had to go to Diagon Alley anyway for everyone to open up a bank account.

Now, I’m standing in Madam Malkin’s getting measured for everything. Once I’ve been basically poked and prodded all over my body with clothes pins, I stare out the window and watch everything and everyone pass by. As if someone had played a slow potion button, I see a whole family of red heads walk down the cobblestone and sure enough one of them is Fred. I snap my head down and try to cover my face with my hair. I don’t know why I did that. Once again, he has no idea what I look like.

“All done. You can step down now.” I look over to Madam Malkin and grab my uniform and robe out of her hands. I thank her and rush out the door. Thankfully my parents are done with their list too so we decide to go home.

.          .          .

The next 18 hours go by quick. I didn’t get a chance to really enjoy my apartment or decorate it due to packing up my trunk since we once again left early in the morning for transportation.

The train ride was painfully boring. No one told me how long it is from England to Scotland. I sat with some mundane people whose names I don’t remember. They were also half asleep and exchanged pleasantries only out of politeness. We bought some stuff off of the trolley and then went back to our own worlds.

At one point it became a little suffocating and I needed to pee so I got up and started walking through the cars when I heard a “Have you heard from her yet, Fred,”. I had stopped before becoming visible to their compartment. He told them no and that he was a little worried. That’s when I remembered that Maya distracted me so I never got to finish the letter.

At the moment, I’m standing at the front of the line of 1st years because I’m new as well but I’m older so I get to get sorted first. My hood is up and I’m looking at the ground, suddenly interested in my shoes. Professor McGonagall informs everyone that I’m a new student from the American wizarding school and I feel my face heat up, knowing the amount of comments I’m about to get from everyone.

She calls my name and I carefully walk up the stairs. At this point my hood is still up so no one has gotten a clear view of my face. I want to do a big reveal of sorts. I sit down and let the hood slide from off of my head. There’s gasps from all across the hall. Some whistles from a few guys. Whispers from a few girls. A handful of people conveyed nonchalant expressions which I greatly appreciate over being fawned over. My eyes gravitate toward the Gryffindor table and I catch Fred already looking at me. His friends are nudging him with an elbow while also looking at me. I guess that answers the question of if he told his friends about me or not. I can’t decipher how he feels, but the adoration on his face calms my nerves enough.

I break our eye contact to look back down at the floor as not to fall off of the stool. I make haste to the Ravenclaw table. I greet everybody and they instantly start asking questions. I laugh as I can’t understand them all at once, but it’s funny hearing them squabble like seagulls. A hand is placed over mine and I look in the direction of where it came from. A beautiful Asian girl gives me a small smile.

“Hi y/n, my name is Cho.” I return the smile and tell her that it’s nice to meet her. A silence washes over the table. I become befuddled and look around to distinguish if I did or said something wrong.

“I thought you were American?” Someone says from the other side of the table. I don’t catch sight of who said it, but respond, nonetheless.

“I am. Well, I’m half. My mom is American and my dad is British. I was born in Manchester but was raised in America.”

An understanding nod is shared amongst the table in hearing vicinity and the conversation ceases as someone else is sorted into Ravenclaw.

.          .

After dinner the prefects give the first years a quick tour of the castle and show them to their houses. Cho snuck me with the other 5th years. I’m thankful as I far from want to be touring the castle with a bunch of children. Besides, I have a map of the school and I’ve created a spell that can bewitch the map to help me find my classes.

We make our way up the many staircases and are faced with a large door with an Eagle head as the knocker.

“The only way to enter the common room is by answering a riddle. If you get it wrong, then you have to stand here until someone else comes and says the correct answer or until someone from the inside opens the door.” She says to me. I nod my head in understanding.

“Wanna try it?” Another Ravenclaw asks me. A male. I believe his name is Talbott. I nod my head again and step closer to the door.

“When young, I am sweet in the sun. When middle-aged, I make you gay. When old, I am valued more than ever. What am I?” The voice bellows as the Eagle moves its beak. It shakes my core a little bit.

I look around at the other Ravenclaws. Some with quizzical brows. Some with a knowing look. Others just looking and awaiting my answer. The answer would have caught me up if it weren’t for the last clue; “When old, I am more valued than ever.”

“Wine.” There’s a click sound as if unlocking a lock, and the door slowly opens. Smalls cheers are shared as we walk in.

I’m stuck at the entrance of the threshold inside by the sight in front of me. It’s probably the most gorgeous room I’ve ever seen. The ceiling is coved and gives the illusion of a clear night sky. Stars litter the ceiling and give off the effect of actual twinkling. A blue velvet couch sits in front of a fire, with matching chairs on either side. What really catches my attention is the enormous statue of Rowena Ravenclaw in front of a bookcase. We never had anything like this at Ilvermony. Our emblem was a serpent and we would just have those displayed in various parts of the common room. I watch as everyone goes to various parts of the room while some go behind the bookcase. Cho grabs my hand and also brings me behind the staircase. She shows me that behind this staircase is where the dorms and bathrooms are. I follow her up the staircase and to a dorm. The rooms inferior to the common room but not any less gorgeous. The beds align with the wall as each dorm is in the shape of a tower.

“I see you got the middle bed. Seems fitting as you’re new.” No malice in her tone, though I can see in some way it might have seemed like it.

I sit on the bed and exhale. Truly exhale. This whole journey has been happening too fast. Now that I’m sorted into a house, everything else seems easy. I went over my schedule with Cho and we have all the same classes except Defense Against The Dark Arts. I guess I’ll survive one class without her.

“Well come on lazy bones.” A different girls says to me. Anastasia I believe.

“What?” I sit back up and ask with pure curiosity.

“It’s time to get ready for the party.”

“What party?”

.          .

The beginning of the year party. The party where everybody gets blacked out and regrets it in the morning since we start classes at 8 am.

I believe I heard someone earlier yell about flower. A Hufflepuff I believe. I had put on the sluttiest thing I owned and made my way down to the party with everyone else. None of us wear heels, as not to be caught by the caretaker.

The party is in full swing when we open the door the ballroom. The lights are dimmed, but the strobes of light are pungent. We barely make it to the drink table without bumping into everyone on the way. At the drink table is a tall red head with another tall read head which I can only assume is me about to be dealing with the consequences of my own actions.

“Excuse us,” Cho exclaims at the two while trying to push our way to the punch bowl. They look our way and go to move but freeze when they set their eyes on me.

“Y/n?” Fred asks/yells.

“In the flesh,” I yell back.

His smile reaches his eyes as he pulls me in a hug. My face in brought into an awkward place where it’s not quite his chest but not quite his stomach either. I wrap my arms around his middle and hug him back. He smells like cinnamon. I welcome in the scent as we hug for a few more seconds. I can only imagine what Cho is thinking right now.

We pull back at the same time and he begins to speak again. I can’t really hear him over the noise of the ballroom. I look in the direction of the entrance of the room and point to it. He nods his head and we walk towards it, hand in hand.

The door closes behind us but we still stood with our hands intwined.

“Pen pals for 4 years and you didn’t tell me you were transferring.” He exclaims while keeping his voice down.

“I wanted to surprise you.” I say sheepishly.

“Considered me surprised.” He smiled no longer reaches his cheeks but its more somber.

We hear footsteps coming from the far end of the corridor. He pulls me and we start running. I don’t know where we’re going but I trust him. A giggle threatens to out my mouth as we are going up the maze of stairs.

After what feel like forever, we make it to the floor that the Ravenclaw tower is on. I see that Gryffindor is also on this floor. In the middle of both is a spiral staircase. Great. More stairs. He leads us up to a room that looks like a classroom with multiple astronomy tools and an openness to the outside.

“Welcome to the Astronomy classroom.” I unknowingly let go of his hand as I look around in amazement. There’s a celestial sphere with all the constellations on it. A fancy telescope by the balcony. It’s quite literally the Ravenclaw common room in classroom form.

“Gods, this place is gorgeous.” I walk onto the balcony and stare up at the sky. All the stars twinkle and the moon is full.

“As are you.” I turn my body around and face him. He walks up next to me without breaking eye contact.

“Not a disappointment, am I?”

“Only a little. I expect more of an American accent.” I laugh at this before looking down at my shoes.

“You and everyone else. It’s there a little bit with certain words and phrases.”

.          .

I sit on the ledge and we talk for a bit. Not much to tell considering I know almost everything about him and vice versa. We talk about school and the people here which eventually leads to the topic of dating.

“Anyone here you fancy yet?”

“You could say that.” I look into his eyes and see if he’s able to read in between the lines.

He leans in and I hear my breath hitch. My fingers grip the railing. His eyes jump to my lips and back to my eyes.

“Who is it?” We both know.

“He’s in Gryffindor. Tall red head with freckles. His brothers are also in Gryffindor.” We inch closer.

“I might know him. What’s his name?” 3 inches apart.

“Ron.” He rolls his eyes at the answer with a chuckle.

“Shut up,” and then he kissed me.

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Fred Masterlist | United Kingdom

[sirius-to-pup]

💙 3rd Anniversary 11.24 💛

It's been 3 whole years since I've gotten into Utapri and met the love of my life!!

And what better way to celebrate than to have a final Live Show to commemorate not only our 3rd Year Anniversary together but to also Shining Live's closure! For many it's been a long journey, but for me it feels like my journey is still only beginning. I'm excited for the many many years that follow and for the new tiddings that will be ahead. With Natsuki by my side, I know no matter how hard it gets, it'll be breeze just having someone so positive, supportive, and the one I can call my husband.

I love you, Natsuki, you're my most adored constellation, my universe, and my guiding light.

Thank you for being in my life 💙🌙

Ooohhh, I really can't believe that Shining Live is going to be shut down completely :')

I know for many fans, like me, also got into the series through the rhythm game on the app store. Had it not been for me giving idol games a chance, I never would have met Natsuki. He was the positive person I really needed in my life when I felt like I was so out of place. He got me to be so much kinder, he helped me be much more positive. If there was anyone that made me have a goofy grin 24/7 it was him!!

But as we all know, not everything lasts forever. With the same rhythm game being shut down last year I was absolutely devastated. It was very jarring for me to realize that a certain part of my life was officially over. Not by my choice however, it shook many MANY fans. Not just me, so many of us really did enjoy being able to log in in the morning, their favorite boy greeting them with a good morning. Even now I can still remember Natsuki's cute yawn and telling the sweetest good morning. The occasional him asking me not to hog the blanket. I really do miss it. Not to say that I miss the game in its entirety, gacha can go to hell or whatever but, a lot of us really felt connected to our guy cause it really felt like we were sharing our days with them.

And so I tried joining the JP version of the app, it was still up but many of us didn't have hopes that their version was gonna last for much longer. I quickly dropped the app cause it just wasn't the same. The language barrier was too great, so it really did hinder what I was trying to get back. And it doesn't help that we were right. Nearly exactly after the 1st anniversary of EN's shut down announcement, JP recieved theirs. No matter how much they spend on the game, it's bound for its end. While the pain of the loss wasn't as great as the first, it was still so hard for us to grapple with the fact that this is officially an end of an era.

My feelings for today are a bit of a mixed bag, but overall, just as Natsuki would want for me, I'll do my best to smile through it and be happy. It's our day! It's our day of coming together, and we'll be expecting new tidings! This isn't the end, but rather a start for something new!

So let's celebrate! Happy 3 year anniversary, Natsuki! Let's be together always!! 💛💛💫

[thegrapeandthefig]

What brought you to focus on Thasos?

It really took this question to realize I never addressed this, even though I thought I did. In short, it all came down to one inscription found on the island.

The inscription itself has long been considered “unpublished”, which in this case meant it had been translated once, in French, in the 1960s, by the archaeologists and historians who were working on excavating Thasos at the time. In the 90s, Swiss historian Anne-Francoise Jaccottet wrote a thesis on Dionysiac associations in the Greco-Roman world, and that’s where I found it first. Getting my hands on the thesis alone was a strike of luck, since when I began looking for it (because I saw it often cited in papers I’d read) it was only available on command from the university for a price in the 100s of euros. Until, in 2020, the author herself put the whole thing on academia.edu for free. Happenstance and all that.

Anyway, the reason why this particular inscription caught my attention out of the whole corpus of documents in the thesis was that it described vividly something linked to a UPG I had months prior. At the time I took note of the inscription as something to come back to later because I wasn’t sure what to do with the info. Confirmation was nice, but truly had no idea what to do with it.

A year or so later, I noticed that the same author had written and - again - put online for free, an article from 2018 on that specific inscription in collaboration with Stephanie Wyler (whose line of work tends to revolve around Dionysus in the roman context) and on the same element that resonated with my UPG. That is, the idea of a canopy of greenery/vines as an important ephemeral setup for worship, which is something that we can also catch glimpses of in literature:

“The flame, dividing, dimly outlines a cave for Dionysus more charming than any in Assyria and Lydia; for sprays of ivy grow luxuriantly about it and clusters of ivy berries and now grape-vines and stalks of thyrsus which spring up from the willing earth, so that some grow in the very fire.” - Philostratus the Elder, Imagines 1.13 (or 1.14 on theoi.com), 3rd century AD

The Thasian inscription, however, dates back from the 1st century AD and is a private dedication of a sanctuary to Dionysus from a man named Timokleides. He is described as being a doctor from Thasos and as being at the head of the dionysiac association (thiasos) that would be using this sanctuary. I could do a whole post about this alone, but the point is that it’s from there that I got the hutch to look at where the inscription came from in the first place.

That research led me to the realization that it was a very documented island, in big part because it has been excavated for decades but also because the ancient city/island used to be renowned for its wine, its marble and its gold, thanks to nearby mines on the Thracian coast. It led me to see that the calendar was in a workable state, that we had a decent list of attested festival and a very fair number of smaller sacrifial rules and miscellaneous inscriptions.

Another, more personal, reason why Thasos was a good fit was the geographical proximity with Lampsakos, Thrace and Moesia Inferior where I have (limited) elements concerning the presence of Priapus. Thasos is also known for having important examples of thysia, that is sacrifices for heroes in which the sacrifices were eaten by the worshippers, which goes against what is typically described as the norm in ancient Greek religion on a larger scale, but which also line up more closely with my personal experience.

All of these factors combined made Thasos a particularly good match for me. It felt a lot like finally putting together mismatched pieces of information into something that made sense.

[pwblogarchive]

November 2007

November 2, 2007

"our smiles are just a commercial for how normal we are"

the idea of protecting would imply that there is some possession-

a toast implies change.

noone toasts normals days

or gutter heads.

i swear to god i have come to love some of you so dearly.

i count on you to get me by.

but i have begun to wonder about my contribution to life

i want to go to school.

i want to move far away.

im scared.

but only of god and a witness stand.

im not sure how much longer i want to do this if it doesnt mean anything-

i need a push a sign something that puts me back on course.

if i go for it you tell me i shouldnt have.

if i lay and wait you think i dont care.

i want to believe so badly.

morning is just a cold shower for dreams.

broke the little bone on top of my foot.

oh well i am so accident prone, i owed the universe some marrow.

not gonna back out on you.

3rd time in an mri this year.

there is no room colder or smaller.

there is something about the repetitive clicking that gives me visions.

i really feel for people who truly have to go through this on a daily basis or need crutches everyday of their life. honestly it is humbling for me.

and i probably needed that humility.

thanks for your understanding.

the painkillers and pride have my head in a bit of a tangle.

help me unwind it.

is there a song you count on every time?

i swear by the baxters

and the dropouts who only kept the books and the freshman fifteen

awake inside someone elses dream

alone in someone elses throne

gift wrapped wasp nest

blue ribbon jealousy contest

cant make everyone in the world unhappy all of the time

theres no glory on the road

its just a quick way to make you old

theres a new order

my disorders

i am just a sweettooth in the cavity search of life

Posted by xoat 1:24 AM

November 13, 2007

“this machine kills fascists”

after the pornstar john holmes career deflated he turned to showing up at LAX and stealing peoples bags off of the conveyor belt.

i watched someone do this to me at the airport today.

i am obsessed with the change that can turn in the world.

sometimes the message is more important than the art.

i need him more than he needs me, he needs her more than he needs me and so on.

theres nothing new under the sun

but were reading on existentialism in the shade.

i am so in love with the idea

if it werent for that i am not sure where i would turn.

i guess this is another halfhearted thank you. just because you keep tuning in.

"dont you think its insane how donald duck never wears pants?"

life is better when youre around.

but yes i do think its insane.

Posted by xoat 1:27 AM

November 15, 2007

“a sketch of Chicago in words.”

afternoon rhythmic no sleep dream.

body rigid.

mind convulsing.

i went scanning thru frequencies as my eyelids stuck shut.

reminds me of the first time the emt's gave birth to me.

or back to me.

whats the difference between a vision and a hallucination is simply whos giving the diagnosis.

the visions were so bright they burnt shadows on the inside of the room.

were a wagon party.

i see the world in slow motion.

theres shivering everywhere.

too cold outside, too hot inside.

fall has stolen the country from here.

sleep never comes naturally anymore.

boys playing men in flannel shirts-

homage or parody of what once was.

whos gonna be left when its all and done?

im exploding just too slowly for anyone to take notice.

Posted by xoat 2:19 AM

November 15, 2007

“maybe we should feed our jewelry to the sea”

from current occupation: selling fire in hell by xo

mid tour crisis got everybodys heads troubled.

new panic at the disco songs are settling.

cant sleep so we wrote a lullabye.

you probably wont ever hear it unless we end up at a campfire together:

honey is for bees, silly bear

besides theres jelly beans everywhere

its not what it seems, in the land of dreams

dont worry your head just go to sleep

doesnt matter how you feel

lifes just a ferris wheel

its always up and down, dont make a sound

when you wake up the world will come around

its just sweet weather and peacock feathers

in the morning itll all be better

dont worry your head just go to sleep.

November 17, 2007

“the only thing suicidal here are the doors.”

weve been indoctrinated to crave the idea of the extraordinary ordinary

we accept the blogs and camera phones as mediums, not as in the transfer of information, but more closely defined to the idea of the spiritual medium...- as the prophets, the eye and pyramid on the dollar bill

we are just flies on the wall watching a culture have a nervous breakdown.

everyone is born between may 22 and june 22, even if theyre not- we are a gemini generation. we love to hate everything in other people that we hate about ourselves.

arrogantly insecure and vice versa.

and life lately is just always about the spins and collateral damage.

sometimes the snow and ground frost shut us both down

in love with the idea of permanent impermanence.

so careful of stuttered over articulation, as though saying the word better would somehow make it mean more.

the worlds worst kind of diary.

i wish i could pull the pause button off of every electronic gadget in my home- i despise it so.

strangely fulfilled by the idea of loving strangers and hating my friends.

how there had to be an inkling in the head of neal armstrong to just stay on the moon and wait for the air to run out, besides the fact thats what we are all doing sort of in the long run only he'd have a better view.

Posted by xoat 1:49 AM

November 22, 2007

“i think this is a bit of an overestimation.”

ill need to take up gardening or something if im gonna be around this long.

Posted by xoat 3:22 AM

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Ties Between FTWD, TWB and the Maggie/Negan Spinoff?

@galadrieljones:

I saw the ask about the Maggie/Negan spin-off and I do agree, it feels like a mystery. With Hershel being abducted, I find it interesting that we have that information but literally nothing else. It makes me think they want us to connect it to what’s currently going on in Fear.

Will it be airing at the same time as Fear?

If so I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to set something up in terms of tensions between them. I’m trying to remember if there are any characters connected to Manhattan. We only know that the WB endlings have a faction in NY state, but not NYC.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Interesting! I hadn’t thought of connecting the Maggie spin-off directly to Fear, but that’s a great point! 👍🏻

I’ve thought about TWB too, as I said in the Ask. Even tho it’s NY state vs. NYC, so still think it’s a small enough area that the character paths could cross. And too much of a coincidence to think they’re not setting something up there.

After all, if Morgan could randomly stumble onto Daryl and Aaron in S5, who happened to know the exact guy he was looking for, no reason Maggie and Negan couldn’t encounter Iris and Elton. 😉 Here’s hoping! 🙏🏻

@wdway:

It's so funny guys because I've been thinking about this for the last few days and then this morning I read your ask, @twdmusicboxmystery, about TWD:DC Maggie/Negan's spin-off and plan on bring it up to you guys but other things got in the way. So this evening when I checked my phone I got excited when I saw that you guys had started to discuss it.

Surprise, surprise I have a few thoughts on the subject. The initial thing that I've been thinking about is the order in which tptb are airing the spin-offs. Earlier this week Fears final season part A air date has been moved until May 14 with 6 instead of 8 episodes which put the last episode in the first block ending on June 18th.

In the Comicbook article announcing the change date it said that Maggie/Negan spin-off TWD:DC would follow Fear in June. Since they're making a big deal about the spinoffs I can't imagine they would air Maggie and Negan's beginning episode on the same night as the last block episode of Fear so that means it would start the following Sunday on June 25th. 6 episodes would mean it would finish on July 30th.

San Diego Comic-Con this year is July the 20th through the 23rd. I tried to find some dates for panels but it only said that TWD's last Comic-Con was July of 2022.

Initially this surprised me because I cannot believe after all these years and what a big deal Comic-Con has always been that The Walking Dead Universe would not be represented. Then I realized that it is in how you ask the question and in fact the TWD original show from the comic did end and had its last Comic-Con in 2022 but since I didn't quite know how to phrase the panel question with all the different spin-offs. I don't know how they would group it together because I cannot imagine them passing up such a huge opportunity to promote the TWD universe spinoffs.

I'm going to speculate that this might be one of the reasons they push the dates back so that since Dead City will not finish its run until the 30th of July then they can still promote it during Comic-Con along with Fear and the other upcoming spinoffs.

From here on this truly is speculation but I don't believe that they would want to come back with Fear Part B directly after Dead City. That would only be a 6 week break.

We also know that the Daryl Dixon spin-off will air in 2023 so my best guess is Fear series final 6 episodes will air beginning September 3rd and end October 6th or start back on September 10th and end on October 15th.

Here's the thing I got excited about is looking at the dates. If Fear ends on the 15th that would mean that the Daryl Dixon spin-off will begin on October 22! That right 10/22!!!

Is it just me or does that date seem like a likelihood and a meaningful one? With the number 22 showing up in s5e8 Coda on a police car

and then later on a door in s1 of TWB, on the sailboat with Michonne and Virgil in s10e13 What We Become and in s11e21 Outpost, on another door in s11e23 Family in the scene where Daryl is carrying Judith who has been shot a replay of Coda.

It just seems like too much of a possible coincidence that they would not use that date for Daryl spinoff.

The other thing that I wanted to mention to you guys I do think there could be a possibility of Maggie and Negan's spin-off tying in with TWB since both spin-off's are set in NY state. It's just that I'm getting more of a vibe that Fear will give us something that will make sense or tie into the storyline of Herschel's kidnapping. We last saw Morgan and Madison searching for Morgan's daughter because she had been kidnapped. It just seems like too much of a lead in for Maggie and Negan's search for Herschel imo.

The other thing is and this is something I would love for us to discuss in more detail is how they left Al and her partner Isobel. They left the audience with the fact that they were in the Smoky Mountains and we know that Maggie was in the Knoxville area which is near the foothills of the Smoky Mountains. There again it seems to be a natural lead in to the people who are targeting Maggie.

Just a few more things for thought.

One more 22 that I forgot to add to the above list. Series episode 22 was s3e3 Walk With Me. The episode where we find out that Merle and Andrea are still alive.

@galadrieljones:

I love all the date speculation. I really enjoy thinking about how these disparate pieces are going to come together in small but potent ways. I feel strongly too that what we learn in Fear must inform Maggie and Negan’s search for Hershel. There’s no way that what’s happening with Morgan isn’t on a crash course for what’s about to happen to Hershel.

The thing about Madison’s return is, that even tho I don’t love her character, her role is pretty compelling. All this stuff with kidnapped kids, and how it subtly informs situations, barely hinted at the flagship, it makes me excited for how it connects to Beth, as the nanny, the caretaker.

The episode Inmates always comes to mind, how her only goal is to find the children. At the end of Too Far Gone, the reason she isn’t on the bus and ends up with Daryl in the first place is because she bravely went back for the kids. It’s her first true heroic attempt, even as she is not successful.

It’s part of why I always compare her to the Biblical Rachel, who was the farmer Laban’s youngest daughter, beautiful, and who struggled to have her own children but who was a great maternal protector of her ppl. It really makes the Jacob/Daryl and Leah in disguise thing sing for me.

I mean Rick is the most important character in the franchise and Beth took care of his children. She was like part of his family. She was a quietly important character.

Also, I’m glad you brought up Al and Isobel. Remember too how Denis from WB told a story about his partner early on when he was a soldier in the CRM going awol in the Smokies. I remember doing the math on the coordinates for Isobel’s cabin and determining that it was only about 30mi from Knoxville.

This makes the Smokies a legit mention in all three shows. Maggie pinpoints her time in Knoxville to a couple summers ago, which could be a nod to the time difference with Fear.

I am purely speculating that possibly Al and Isobel were in hiding in Maggie’s community, which was then targeted by the CRM, as you suggested. We’ve also speculated that possibly Georgie has a CRM bounty on her head, or is some sort of CRM escapee. We know from WB that the CRM uses walkers to end their threats.

If this is the case, Maggie would just think a horde moved through. She wouldn’t know it was the CRM. It would just seem like things keep going wrong. Maybe Al and Isobel stay with them and move from place to place with them. Maybe they don’t even realize it’s the CRM at first, until whatever happened before Meridian. Then they take off. Maggie never mentions Al or Isobel, but we know she lost a lot of ppl. She might just assume they’re dead. Or maybe they went with Georgie out west.

This is why I feel we may see the Reapers again. Why they gave us that purposeful zoom into Michael Turner’s face. Maybe the Reapers were bounty hunters for the CRM for a time. Per the timeline it’s feasible that Leah was with Daryl when Knoxville went down, which is why she goes easier on her in some ways.

Remember too there’s this weird tension with Maggie and Michael Turner. He is the guy wearing the super classic reaper mask. He has it in for her specifically and follows her into the mall.

There’s tons of focus on him as the guy who throws his scythe at her at the end of that bizarre opening sequence in Hunted. Maybe (and this is huge speculation lol) he will reappear at some point, in a flashback, or in Fear as pertaining to Al and Isobel, and that’s why they were so certain to show us a close-up of his face in Rendition.

I spent a long time trying to find out who the actor is who plays Michael Turner and I could never find anything. Wonder why!

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Love all the discussion, Ladies! One thing I think TD has always been really good at is figuring out the logic of how/why tptb would do a thing. I honestly think that's why we're right so often. After all the stuff about kids being taken, how could Dead City NOT be about that, you know? And I think all your logic above is on point. 👍

@wdway:

The long ramble that I did about the possible air dates for Fear and Daryl Dixon spin-off I feel should be combined with what I wrote you @twdmusicboxmystery, in a comment for an "ask" posted the other day about my theory of why they bumped Rick and Michonne's spin-off until 2024.

A large part of the general audience doesn't seem to be able to make connections of how these spin-off's will all tie together to lead into a bigger story of a war with the CRM. I get why a lot of people cannot see this coming because for whatever reason they have not watched Fear since Morgan moved over to that series to slowly lay out over several seasons the storyline of the introduction of the CRM in the TWD Universe.

Even though The World Beyond was billed as a closer look into the CRM many viewers couldn't get pass the storyline featuring 4 inexperienced teenagers on a quest to New York to the Civic Republic Scientific Research community. They had little patience for the teenagers and what on the surface didn't seem to relate to the faster more action packed original TWD series.

My belief is that all of the spin-off's will eventually merge together into a new non-comic book based series. TWD Part 2 or TWD the Last Act. Whatever they decide to call it it'll be a continuation of the story after the end of the comic era with many of the characters from the original series that are not included in the upcoming spin-off's.

From Facebook:

Here's my theory about them pushing the Rick and Michonne spin off until '24.

First I agree what you said about wanting to focus the big story for 2023 being the Daryl/Beth storyline. The word epic has been thrown around a lot for both spin-off's so I don't think they want to put them necessarily back to back. I believe they want to establish or keep that fall Walking Dead series air timeline. You have people who have come so accustomed to having TWD during October and November and it is not a wise move to leave it open to movies or something random and people get used to looking at other networks during that time period.

Here's the real reason I think R/M spin-off has been moved to next year. The R/M spin-off should be able to finish their filming by late spring so they will have time to edit it and then it will air probably in February of "24 when TWD would normally have their second half of their season.

So they would be keeping their fall and winter TWD programming format. And this is where I think the long range plan is being set in place coming the fall of '24 we will have the spin offs coming together for the new series with the return of of many of others characters that are still at the CW/AZ.

I think a lot of the actors will have a nice break from after their spinoffs are done and the new series comes together. They can go and do their individual other jobs and still come back for a new revamped TWD that will have all the beloved characters that are still alive and will not have to work from the comic book. The things that people were so weary of having new characters without enough air time to care about them will no longer be an issue. I'm sure it will be a good size cast but not overly so. Filming for the new revamped TWD series would probably start next spring of 2024 and air that fall.

@galadrieljones:

All really good points, @wdway. It’s so easy to forget how much of the CRM undercurrent has been just outright missed by the GA. Even I initially dismissed WB till you all suggested I should watch it. It’s not the type of show I would normally watch, but I wanted to watch it just to understand the foundation of what was going on. So like are there ppl who saw that Rick coda and were just completely confused, or…?

[werothegreat]

Let's go through all the garbage the Supreme Court has handed down lately.

Last week they overturned the Chevron ruling. The original case ruled that, in cases where a law passed by Congress was ambiguous or deliberately vague/broad, Executive institutions had constitutional authority to implement that as they saw fit, based on their institutional knowledge and experience. Without it, courts can now prevent Executive institutions like the FDA and EPA from doing anything if it isn't exactly verbatim what Congress told them to do. This is stupid because Congresspersons aren't particular well-versed in, say, nutritional requirements for children or what chemicals constitute water pollutants, but the career bureaucrats who've worked in the FDA and EPA for years and years are.

Then they ruled that hundreds of Jan 6ers can't be prosecuted. This is inane and frustrating.

And now today, they have ruled that former presidents cannot be prosecuted for "official acts" taken while in office. This is patently absurd, and effectively rules that a US president gets to be a dictator for their 4 years, no matter what they do.

Yes, this is because Trump got to appoint three Supreme Court justices, which is because Turtle McConnell refused to let Obama appoint one in his final year. Letting Republicans have power has consequences.

However, there is a larger issue at play here - the fact that so much of United States governance and law is done by precedent. Not law, not statute, precedent. There are some, especially Republicans, who take pride in the fact that the U.S. Constitution is small enough to fit in your pocket. But that means that by definition it has to rule in very broad strokes, necessitating a branch of government that exists solely to interpret it - the Judicial branch. And when the Judicial branch becomes politicized, we become hostages to their whims.

Abortion access was based on a Supreme Court ruling - it was never actually put into law. So when the Supreme Court changed its mind, the right to abortion went away. There many other rights in this country that are also based solely on Supreme Court cases - same-sex marriage, integrated schools, your Miranda rights.

And the frustrating part is that Democrats are so enamored with the idea of law and process and doing everything by the book and by precedent. They are lawful neutral. Meanwhile the Republicans are just evil - they don't care what the law says, unless they can use it to punish you. They can and will and have used the courts and Congress and executive orders to push their hateful agenda onto the rest of us and make everything worse for 90% of this country's population while filling their pockets ever more. And as long as our so-called left-learning party refuses to put forward a candidate with an ounce of charisma, let alone an actual plan to implement progressive ideas, they will continue to do so.

Remember, though - this system is not broken. It is working as intended. This is the logical outcome of what our founding fathers put together nearly two and half centuries ago. If you think it's unfair, or a mess, then I agree with you, and there's really only one way forward.

The system needs to be replaced.

This cannot be fixed by voting. It cannot be fixed by grassroots fundraising. It cannot be fixed by propaganda or gathering signatures or waving signs outside of the White House.

There are exactly two ways to fix this.

The first and probably more palatable way would be a Constitutional Convention - if a 2/3rds majority of states come together, we can amend or even replace the Constitution. We can change what needs to be changed and fix what needs to be fixed - implement ranked choice voting, make elections publicly funded, eliminate the electoral college, write basic human rights into it - the United Nations Declaration of Universal Human Rights would be a good start.

The second, less palatable way would be revolution. And the more Republicans and centrist Democrats take away our ability to change things within their system, the more likely it becomes that revolution is the only way to change things.

Now, revolution could take multiple forms. It could be storming the capital (to be frank, my disagreement with Jan 6ers is not their methods, it's their goals, which I think is more important). It could be "blue" states seceding - New England by itself, maybe partnered with New York and New Jersey, would have a better chance of implementing the changes I've listed without Republican-dominated states weighing us down.

And if Trump wins again in November (which seems ever more likely after Biden's performance at the debate) then I am going to do my darnedest to convince New England to secede. I refuse to live another 4 years under that horrible, repugnant, puerile con man, especially not with this Supreme Court, and his evermore vociferously expressed desire to be a dictator. Fuck that.

[kyberheart]

A Deceitful Creation Part #1 -  Wolffe x F!Reader

Part #2

Summary: You’ve been trying for a while now to get pregnant with your lover. Knowing that may never happen, you ask for some outside help from Wolffe on the down-low...

Word Count: 1483

Warnings: 18+, piv sex, infidelity, pregnancy/trying for a baby, cursing, angst

A/N: Heyyyyyyyy.... I’m still here! I had some stuff going on this past week so I missed my Friday fic upload, but hey! It’s Sunday, only missed it by a few days so whatever. I’m still working on part #3 of my little Techy-boy story. Hopefully will be finished by Friday the 3rd! Heh... part #3 on the 3rd... perfect. ANYWAY I hope you like this little blurb I wrote. I wanted maximum sad with lots of OOF. I kept the summary and header as vague as possible to not spoil the end. Good luck in there!

(Ao3 Link if ya want it)

----------------------------------------------------------

Wolffe was different with you. All teeth and tongue and nails dug into the plump flesh of your thighs. The look adorning his eyes in this moment is akin to a knife’s edge; he was holding back as not to tear you to shreds.

Your lover on the other hand, well… he was the whisper of a cool breeze in the night. A cascading avalanche of stolen breaths and languid strokes. Completely and utterly tender with you.

“C-close Wolffe, almost…I’m—!”

He nods, stooping to kiss you, but swiftly retracts his head with a tiny scowl. He knew the rules. No marks that can’t be covered up, no pet names, and under no circumstances can he kiss you. This was just a mutually beneficial transaction. Nothing more, nothing less.

“I got you… I got you…”

He’s reaching down, down, down to make contact with your clit. You keen, dropping your head back into the mattress. He fucks you through your orgasm, spilling inside of you as your legs wrap tightly around his waist. You tremble under him as you come down from your high. In a blur of muscle-memory Wolffe is reaching behind you for a pillow. He props your hips upward with it, grinding into you a few more times to make sure his seed is in there nice and deep.

“If this isn’t the one, I’m not sure if I can help. Maybe what they say is true, maybe we’re all infertile. I mean, I’ve heard rumors of defectors running off and getting people knocked up, but…” He shrugs, pulling out of you to head into the ‘fresher. You sigh, staring at the grey ceiling above you. That really wasn’t the case. Some were infertile, yes. You knew that all too well…

“I’m headed out. I have a supply run to facilitate. You alright?”

Wolffe grunts as he snaps his scratched armor around himself. He wasn’t much for conversations after the act. Rather, he preferred to be on his merry way as fast as possible. It wasn’t so much to avoid catching feelings as it was to steer clear of talking. He was undoubtedly the most stand-offish of the clones you knew. You were often surprised at how easy it was to lure him into the bedroom with how hostile his demeanor could be. Though on second thought he was just a normal guy. Sex is just as fun for him as it is for others.

“Yeah, I’m good. Thanks Wolffe. If this one doesn’t stick I’ll leave you alone.”

He pauses to search your face. You smile at him, wrapping your arms around your chest with a sleepy yawn. A garbled message blips from his forearm, which he answers with a quick acknowledgement before seating his helmet onto his head.

“Understood. I’ll see you around. Say hi to my vod for me when he gets back.”

And with that, he’s silently leaving your apartment into the void beyond. In the silence of the room your mind wanders once more. You think of your lover. Where was he right now? Somewhere far, far away? Somewhere he was safe? Was he warm, fed, and happy?

The cool dribble of Wolffe’s cum down your thigh snaps you from your rumination. You glance at the clock, finding it’s already been twenty minutes since he’d left. More than enough time, you think. With a quick curl of your spine you’re up on your feet and heading to the ‘fresher for a nice long shower. Hopefully when you were out you’d have a comm or a message from your lover.

----------------- He hunches low, lips hovering so close to your ear his hot breaths could have burned a hole through your head.

“That’s it baby, such a good girl. Just a—oh, squeezing me so tight tonight, huh? This’ll be the one, the kriffing ONE. Gonna fuck you full, fill you up to bursting. Make you s-swell with my baby. Can’t wait to see you like that… all mine…”

You cum so hard the world around you dissipates into nothing but him. He growls, pitching you forward with his angled thrusts. His hips crush you into the bed as he cums right along with you. His amber eyes sizzle with freshly tapped desire. Whispered adorations mingle between the two of you, lost to the spinning darkness of the night. When you’ve calmed your heaving breaths, you reach up to grab one of the pillows above you. He helps you position it under your hips before kissing you roughly. Between pecks, he speaks with a heart full of gentle sweetness.

“I’ll keep doing this—you’ll see. We’ll have a little one running around before you know it. Our little adi’ka… yeah…”

His eyes grow distant, lips stilling at the nape of your neck. You huff, smacking his shoulder with your hand.

“I know babe, don’t worry. With how much you’ve been between my legs I think we’ll be having LOTS of them running around.”

You wink at him, leaning up to kiss him again. He chuckles, reciprocating your heavy prodding tongue with his own within your mouth.

“I just… I know we’ve been trying for over a year… what if I...”

You shoot him a frown, tilting your head up to look him straight in the eyes. The fact of the matter was daunting and sat like tepid acid on your tongue. If he knew he wasn’t able to sire children, it would truly break him.

“NO! You are perfectly fine the way you are. I’d know, remember? I’m chief medical officer here dummy. You—WE have nothing to worry about. It’ll happen when the time is right. Trust me.”

He smiles at you, the sight of which could warm even the frostiest planet of Hoth into the dunes of Tatooine. All your love, all your patience and turmoil and sympathy and curiosity and… kriff, you’re everything was him. All him, always was and always will be. Him.

-------------------- The vividness of your dream wakes you with a start. It seemed to be recurring the last few days, a memory of the last time you and your lover were together. You shake your head of the images that haunted you. If only he was home, you wouldn’t worry so much about him.

It had already been a few weeks since Wolffe had occupied your bed. A queasy feeling was beginning to settle low in your stomach. Your lover hadn’t been back in a long while, and you were starting to think something wasn’t right.

You rise to pee, realizing in the dimly lit hush of dawn that this was becoming a frequent occurrence for you. When your shirt brushes a bit too roughly against one of your nipples you yelp. Were they always so sore in the morning? Wait…

Could this be it? A surge of adrenaline hits you like a Hammerhead Corvette as you rush into the ‘fresher. Not long after, you have a small white strip laying on your counter. Your knee bobs with anticipation, head in your hands as you sit on the hard tiled floor. This might just be it!

As the lines swell in the tiny viewport, you force yourself to breathe as deeply as possible. The memory pushes it’s way to the front of your mind once more to taunt you, to make you feel a twinge of guilt at what you’ve done. With a groan you run your fingers soothingly through your hair. You knew you could do this. Joy, passion, and relief would pave over the deceit from which this baby would be born. Your lover would never know the truth, but it was unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Forging a life, a family for the two of you was all that mattered right now.

The time is up. The minutes counted down with bated breaths. A scream tears its way from your throat as you see the result:

Pregnant

Before you can have a full-blown excitement meltdown, a beeping from the other room draws your attention. Your comm sits on your nightstand, signaling you of an incoming message. The words flash on the screen as you wipe tears from your eyes:

Dropping in to save a Jedi Master on Lola Sayu. Don’t worry, should be home before your pretty little head hits the pillow. See you soon my love. My heart is yours, forever.

Oh, you were squealing with delight now. It was finally happening! For REAL! This was a dream come true. A baby… you were going to have a baby! And your lover was going to be home by the end of the day. You wanted to comm him, send him a picture of the test, yell it to the kriffing UNIVERSE that you were fulfilling a long-awaited dream. Both of you were. You calmed yourself, resolving to tell him in person when he got home.

You couldn’t wait until Echo was back!

[reallyhardy]

went through the goes-wrong-verse playbills/programmes - that is, ‘the play that goes wrong’ and ‘peter pan goes wrong’ (thank you @cornleypolytechnicgoeswrong​ !) trying to piece together each society member’s career within the society PLUS if possible whatever it was they were doing at the polytechnic (university) course-wise, along with whatever other character snippets they give. this is mostly to inform me when writing but i thought it’d be useful for other mischief/goes wrong fans!

chris bean:

as of TPTGW is the ‘newly elected’ head of the drama society, and is known at the university for his charitable & philanhropic work. he has six acting credits within the polytechnic to his name.

i was going to presume his choice of course at the uni was acting or directing, but his PPGW bio states that his ‘dacting’ (directing and acting) is all self-taught, so who knows. maybe he’s just in the society because of his aforementioned charitable work.

robert grove:

has starred in 40 productions with the society since 2002 (when he began work at cornley polytechnic as a caretaker - i’m taking this to mean he was never actually a student there.) anyway wow explains why they call him a “veteran actor” lol.

he offers acting lessons (reacting, gesturing, emotioning and acting) and can be contacted via twitter @robertgoodactor. i’ve looked this twitter account up and it does exist it’s just not been used since 2017 - that said there are some in-character photos of henry lewis as robert and nancy zamit as annie on there and plenty of tweets.

he runs an extremely dubiously safe cornley youth theatre program and can be contacted at his email robertgoodactor@hotmail.com (membership fees are non-refundable.)

trevor watson:

in TPTGW is arbitrarily from ‘the north east’ (rob falconer’s portrayal, whereas chris leask’s portrayal is firmly and specifically scouse.)

he has a twitter account (rob falconer’s portrayal) @trevtechie, with i think probably the most tweets of the cornley twitters. stopped being updated in 2017.

his participation in haversham was to complete an electronics module - as the light and sound technician i’d assume his course was in this kinda field.

he states that after haversham he wants to never work with the cornley drama society again, but as of PPGW he’s “following in his parents footsteps” and has pivoted to possibly actually studying stage management. (his PPGW bio states that he’s in his final year at the uni for the 3rd time running. so it could mean his staying on with cornley is like partially due to failing his course?)

dennis tyde:

in his TPTGW bio it states that he joined the drama society after failing to get in to any other societies.

he didn’t live on university campus and commuted in from his parents’ house. he mostly just wanted to make friends - he’s interested in snooker and wants to meet like-minded people.

in his PPGW bio he still wants to make friends and says you can reach him via twitter @dennistyde. i checked this account too and again it does exist but hasn’t been used since 2013, and there are only 3 tweets so its much more bare-bones than the others. i like his one tweet about drinking a mug of bovril to calm his nerves before a show.

as of 2021 in promotional vids we learn that dennis and robert now live together.

max bennett:

in TPTGW bio it says he was a first year studying human geography and crime which i was surprised about but sure okay. it also says here that he happily donated “a large portion of his recent inheritance” to the society to help fund it.

at the bottom of TPTGW’s cast page it states that the west end performance of the play is “made possible by a generous legacy from claude bennett” who’s presumably max’s grandfather? or just father? idk

his TPTGW bio also says his favourite movie is the legend of bagger vance which i’ve never seen but is apparently a will smith golf movie.

his hobbies as listed in his PPGW bio are chess, cooking & hanging out with friends and fam. he also dedicates his performance in PPGW to his grandma claire, which is sweet.

annie twilloil:

as of TPTGW she’s designed, built, painted, costumed & stage managed every cornley show for the past 3 years. in the PPGW bio, it states she’s studying cognitive behavioural therapy and pottery, and has taken up life drawing at the student’s union (as the model.)

after haversham, she apparently had an internship lined up at the bolton octagon.

she has WILD backstory in her PPGW bio that says she dedicated her performance to her estranged husband julian who she hoped was in the audiance and two children frangipani and ylang-ylang. not sure if the kids are with her or with the husband but either way, wild. nuts. pretty funny but also pretty tragic.

she’s also got an ad out looking for a new bloke (i suppose if her husband isn’t in the audience) apparently she’s been left by boyfriends previously for an air hostess, a stripper, and a coal miner.

she also enjoys knitting and playing the banjolin (an instrument she made herself.) her email address is greatfunmum@hotmail.com.

she has a twitter account that again hasnt been used since 2017 (@annietwiloil). a couple tweets chronicle dave hearn’s shoulder dislocation but as max so i guess its canon that max also dislocated his shoulder, but he did it while trying to open a twix? lmao

sandra wilkinson:

in her TPTGW bio it states that haversham manor is her 11th production with the company. idk how frequently they put on shows.

she won some kind of local kids beauty pageant in 1998 and did some modelling for a local restaurant (the sunam balti house, which apparently the cornley crew frequent? or have at least been to - seems they struggled with spicyness levels there, especially dennis.)

nothing on her course at the university, i might just take a stab and assume she was actually doing acting, since her bio is mostly about her being a performer.

she’s a big fan of jeremy irvine, they mention him in both of her bios.

jonathan harris:

is a total health & fitness guy. his course at the uni is in physical education and he’s also a model, though who’s to say what for. in PPGW this is expanded and he’s moved on to being a combo model/actor/photographer/lifecoach.

he loves his outdoor sports: mountain biking & kayaking are noted.

he had a bath salts advert out and he hoped it was gonna go national.

lucy grove:

her surname IS grove! i wasn’t sure, but that’s confirmed. not really much about her in there, because the bio is written by robert and he just used it to gas himelf up.

can’t tell if she’s a student at the university or just in the society through robert. genuinely there’s just not a lot to go on when it comes to lucy.

another note is that the murder at haversham manor and the version of peter pan that the cornley crew perform are both written by ‘susie h. k. brideswell’ who i guess either chris knows or chris is a big fan of?

other notes... they try so hard to make out like the characters aren't all the same age like implying that robert is genuinely older than most of them etc etc but ofc the cast featured in the TV broadcasts are all visibly the same age... ofc all this is just comedy innit so you can take it or leave it

also i realised that the american version of TPTGW calls it “the cornley university drama society” since i guess you guys dont have polytechnics over there. a polytechnic is like... a university that offers the arts (among the classics you know science law what have you) basically. by 2021 in promotional videos etc. shields in character as chris has dropped “polytechnic” altogether from the group’s name (but varies between calling it ‘the cornley drama society’ and ‘the cornley amateur dramatics society’) i assume to reflect how much time has passed since the group put on their first production under chris’ leadership - and that now they’re simply operating unattached to the university because they’ve become a real family. love love love, sillyness and love.

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

You know how we have pet costumes? Give Jacob one, make him a cute space cowboy😈😈😈

WE'RE BACK BABY

Please enjoy this little ficlet (that was actually my 3rd attempt to write a fluffy ficlet for this universe because all the other ones kept becoming future chapters lmao)

--

“This is humiliating. I look like sheriff Woody or something.”

“Aw, I was thinking more like John Wayne Gacy, you know?”

“The...the clown serial killer…?”

Angie pursed her lips. “Wait, who was the cowboy guy in all the old movies? Like, before Clint Eastwood and whatever.”

“That’s John Wayne. Not John Wayne Gacy,” Jacob tugged at the sleeves of his costume and readjusted his cowhide vest. “And I don’t feel anywhere near as cool as him right now.”

She rolled her eyes and crinkled her nose. “That’s because you’re not cool. You’re a grown man playing dress up with a kindergartener.”

“So are you.”

Angie straightened her Native American headpiece and threw one of her braided pigtails behind her. “Yeah, but I know it’s stupid, so therefore I’m doing it ironically which makes me cool.”

Jacob sighed heavily but didn’t argue further, instead tugging his cowboy hat down further to shield his face that burned with embarrassment. Being forced into having playdates with his captor’s coworker was nothing new. He had spent plenty of time being Mibao’s sole playmate aboard the ship, doing the best he could to keep the six year girl entertained and not too psychologically damaged. Being the youngest in a sibling group of only boys, he was a bit rusty when it came to knowing anything about kids. Thankfully, Mibao was more than happy to take him by the hand and show up all the “fun” things she used to either do back home or what she would now do with her “kitty”.

Today’s game of choice was dress up. Every day felt like dress up when it came to the girl’s ever expanding wardrobe; she was always dressed in an obnoxiously puffy and sparkling princess dress fashioned with ribbons and bows galore and always with a matching crown. Fine, no big deal, he could slap a tiara on his head and call it a day, he’d worn worse at the few fraternity parties he attended during college. Nope, not good enough. Mibao had a very specific game she wanted to play which involved him wearing a cowboy costume of all things. A very realistic and detailed cowboy costume, assless chaps and spurs and all. Again, he could...handle it for the most part. The only thing that really bothered him about it was all the coos and giggles he received from both his and Mibao’s captors when he finally came out in his new outfit.

And he knew for a fact they took many, many pictures of him.

It didn’t end there, Mibao still had more requests. Angie needed to join in as well and she was required to be an “indian princess” to partake. Naturally, she was more than happy to agree if it meant getting a break from the absolute nightmare of a captor she had been saddled with. So, now Jacob had to deal with the fact that she would have to watch him play pretend in this ridiculous getup. He could never catch a break with her, it seemed, she always had to catch him when he was in the middle of doing something cringe worthy. She didn’t even look half as uncomfortable as him and she was literally wearing half as much clothing.

Or maybe that was exactly why she was so comfortable as she sauntered up to him, making a finger pistol to tip his hat away from his face. “Cheer up, partner,” she teased. “I think it makes you look cute.”

“I think it makes me look like Owen Wilson from the museum movie,” Jacob replied, hoping the shadow of the brim hid his reddening cheeks.

“Oh my God, you are a tiny little twink cowboy, huh?”

“I’d rather be the gladiator guy.”

“You wish you could pull off being the gladiator guy.”

A rebuttal was on the tip of his tongue when Mibao made her appearance from behind the monitor where she had been changing. This time instead of her usual princess attire, she was dressed...pretty much the same, only this time she had a tiny pair or iridescent fairy wings attached to the back. What a fairy had to do with cowboys and indians, he hadn’t the faintest idea. She stopped when she saw the two of them and stuck out her tongue in childish disgust.

“Eww, stop kissing!” She scolded. “You can kiss the princess later, Jake, it’s time to play!”

Jacob had never been more grateful in his life that the creatures idly watching them couldn’t understand English because he just might have died if they heard. He could feel the heat radiating from his nape to his cheeks, putting his hands up in defense like it could keep Angie away from him.

“Wh-no! We weren’t, we weren’t kissing, Reagan, w-we-!”

Angie only cackled, her amusement stemming more from Jacob’s panicked response than the actual accusation of giving him a kiss. “Yeah, cowboy, you can kiss me later.” She winked and nudged him with her elbow as she walked past to where Mibao was waiting.

He groaned, tugging the hat down as far as it would go even if that meant obscuring his vision somewhat. That was totally fine, he didn’t want to look at anyone right now and he did not want to be perceived either. The child was leading them back over to her designated play area scattered with art supplies and stuffed toys for where they’ll play their game of make believe. Angie was already sitting on her knees by the time he shuffled over and beckoned him with a sly smile to come take a seat on the ground next to her. Jacob obliged, but refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing his beet red face.

As soon as they were settled, Mibao immediately launched into the exposition of the scene they would be putting on, including their roles and superpowers (that only she had because she was a magical fairy queen). Jacob was only half listening; the kid usually forgot half of her own rules in the middle of playing anyways because she wanted to change the story and it wasn’t that hard to follow her game of make believe. Instead, he kept side-eying Angie, who was side-eying him back, and every time they made eye contact she would smile and bump his shoulder with hers.

This was going to be a long playdate.

--

The lab door slid open as Talan walked in, peeling off his bloodied gloves to dispose of them in Ylva’s waste bin. “I need my human back.”

“Aw, why? They’re all having a ball together!” Ylva frowned, gesturing to the miniature trio on her desk. Well, the smallest one and Talan’s pet seemed like they were having a good time, namely at the expense of the other human in a hat. They all seemed to stop at the interruption, his human fixing him with a sneer that he was tempted to match.

“What the fuck is it wearing?” He asked, ignoring all the little protests he got when he grabbed it and plucked the stupid looking feather thing of its head. “I thought you said it’s not nice to torment the humans.”

Edix scoffed at him, though his annoyance was more from Talan being in his general vicinity than anything. “It’s not torment. They were having fun.”

Talan did not look convinced in the slightest, his eyes sweeping over the pup who was pouting at him for taking away its playmate and the other who froze any time he breathed in its direction. Like owner, like pet, he assumed as it seemed to unconsciously inch closer to where Edix’s hand was resting for a better sense of security. Pathetic. At least his pet had a bit more self respect and wasn’t afraid to try and stab him in the hand with his own tools. Of course, it got a sharp flick to the stomach to knock it off, but he could appreciate the gumption.

Talan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, looks like a real party. So sad to have missed it.”

“Like you’ve ever been to a party to know what it looks like.”

“Says the one that only hangs out with plants.”

“Okay,” Ylva interjected, rising from her chair and scooping up her adorable little human. “You’re right, we should probably wrap this up, Mibao’s going to need a nap soon and she likes to fight her naps when she’s excited.”

That was all the excuse Talan needed to dip out without a formal goodbye, though it didn’t escape the corner of his eye how Edix’s human took a half step forward when he left, almost like it wanted to say something. Even if it did, he wouldn’t have cared. As quickly as he had intruded, Talan disappeared back down the main hall of the fauna department to return to his lab.

Edix stood up as well and tucked the data pad he had been keeping busy with under his arm to keep his hands free. He couldn’t help but smile at seeing how much closer his little pet was standing to him, even if it wasn’t by much, even though it was caused by Talan of all bastards. A win was a win in his book. The hand the human had been partly hiding behind curled easily around it to lift it up, immediately cradling it to his chest as usual. It squirmed for a moment but settled quick enough, a clear sign it was also ready to go back to the lab it was accustomed to. For a social species, the little one always seemed so drained after any playdate Ylva arranged for their pets. Fine by him, it usually meant his human was much more quiet and well behaved once it was back in the solitude of Edix’s company, making for an easier work day.

He used his finger to tilt back the wide brimmed hat it had been using to hide its sweet little face a majority of the playdate, earning him a surprised squeak. With the way its baby cheeks were turning an adorable shade of pink, Edix had a fairly good guess as to why it was trying to avoid everyone’s line of sight. Damn, he should have had Ylva take more pictures, this was way too cute for him. It reached up to quickly pull its shield back down and Edix let it with a laugh, cooing as he tugged at its little vest instead which only made it wriggle in distress. Overdramatic little thing.

“Can I keep this costume?” He asked as he followed behind Ylva who was preparing to put her own pup down for a nap. In reality, it meant she was going to have to play with it for at least another half an hour because, much like him, she was a sucker when it came to her human wanting to play. The difference being that Mibao wanted to do anything from coloring to singing to continuing its game of make believe while Edix’s pet always wanted to play chase.

Ylva smiled and shrugged. “Sure, I mean, it’s not like it’s going to fit the baby. It was printed for its measurements specifically, anyways.” Mibao was proving to be difficult in its refusal to relinquish the shiny wings Ylva had designed at its request, something that Ylva quickly made a game out of by setting her pup on the desk and letting it squeal and run while her hands chased after it. That would tire the kid out in no time. She looked back at his human and giggled. “I don’t think it likes it very much, though.”

Oh yeah, that was obvious from the get go, but it didn’t change the fact that it was way too precious for its own good in this type of outfit. Edix actually quite liked the contrast of the dark brown against its pale skin, even more given the fact that it matched the color of its doe eyes perfectly. It was much more appealing than that splotchy green jacket it was inexplicably attached to. He had a feeling it was going to try and strip out of this outfit as soon as it was back in Edix’s lab, provided he gave it its normal suit and jacket to change into. But...maybe he didn’t have to offer it its spare set of clothes right away. Maybe it would just have to hang around in its little boots and hat for a couple hours longer while he finished up his latest report that was just so important to get done. And maybe he would get constantly distracted by how cute it looked while it was definitely pouting at him for not taking off its costume that it took a little longer than usual to finish his work, which meant it spent even longer pouting under its hat.

Decisions, decisions.

Edix waved his hand dismissively. “It’ll learn to love it.”

“Oh, Eddie, don’t be mean to it,” Ylva laughed, not that seemed bothered by the idea of his pet keeping the outfit on for an extended period of time beyond the playdate. “But send pictures if you do.”

[zaprlcorn]

Venus Rx and Fated Relationships

Is it possible you could meet your future spouse during a retrograde? 

A retrograde is when a planet reverses its motion—it moves backwards. Depending on the planet, retrogrades can last anywhere from 30 days to ~6 months. Venus goes retrograde approx every 18 months. Venus is the closest planet to Earth. In a world filled with hopeless romantics and love being the goal of life, when Venus goes retrograde, the effects are felt heavily.

Venus retrograde is a time when we are called to reassess ourselves in terms of “Venusian” things. These “things” revolve around love (internal or external), relationships, values, finances, pleasures, etc.

Because Venus is widely known as the planet of “love” it is no surprise that many people get into relationships when the planet goes retrograde. We’ve heard of exes coming back during Mercury retrograde to get closure (revising communication), but what about going back to people from past lives? Because retrogrades revisit the path a planet was once on, we do the same here on Earth. During this time, many people find themselves in relationships—specifically, “fated” relationships.

At the most basic level, our goal on this Earth is to procreate, carry on our lineage, and achieve happiness in some shape or form. The primary way of life goes: fall in love, have kids, and strengthen our family line. You hear songs about love on the radio, you see it in movies, shows, books, poetry; Love has been an emotion untouched since the beginning of time, so much that the idea of a “soulmate” is popular in pop culture and worldwide. Since astrology has gained popularity over the years, so has the term “twin flame”. A twin flame is essentially the idea that you are the half of somebody else’s soul, resulting in a star crossed lovers tale like Romeo and Juliet (with or without the suicide). In astrology, it has been proven that you can see karmic connections via synastry between two individuals—whether that’s two friends, an employee and boss, or a mother and child. However, in this post, I want to focus on the karmic connection between two people in the romantic aspect.

NOTE: I do NOT condone or support concept of twin flames for many reasons. This post is in no way shape or form about twin flames, saying the persons in this post are twin flames, or saying that you will meet your twin flame during Venus Rx.

Over the years, I have noticed that many people find a long-term partner, or even their spouse during Venus retrograde, in this thread I want to focus on one couple, in particular, that seems to prove the theory to be true:

Zayn Malik and Gigi Hadid.

August 9th, 2015

Venus, Uranus, and Jupiter were all trine each other at this time. Indicating an abundance of out of the blue fated connections and relationships.

There’s no denying that Zayn and Gigi are pretty much in “soulmate” territory. Despite breaks and breakups, they’ve amounted a total of 5 years together. Five years ago, when Zayn and Gigi first met, the planet Venus was in retrograde, which Zayn actually mentions in his song cruel:

Venus in converse, you put a spell on me

Converse: a situation, object, or statement that is the reverse of another or corresponds to it but with certain terms transposed.

Zayn and Gigi met at Kylie Jenner’s birthday party, on August 9th, 2015. The song Cruel is about meeting somebody at a party and feeling a spark. Put two and two together.

When looking at Gigi’s chart, Jupiter was transiting her 5th house with a pretty tight conjunction to Venus (3 degrees separation) in the sign of Leo meaning that Venus and Jupiter were in an exact conjunction that Summer.

Leo is ruled by the Sun, the center of our universe, the Sun shines down on humanity and makes everything beautiful. Leo is home to the 5th house.

The 5th house is the house of relationships, sex, children, parties, creativity, and joys. Speaking of Joys—Venus’ joy is in the 5th house, meaning that this is an extremely favourable place for Venus to be (side note, Zayn had a planetary joy transit himself during this time. His moon was transiting his 3rd house and 3H Moon represents the Goddess.) She enjoys being in the 5th house, as she can utilize everything on the table in that room of the house.

Moreover, Jupiter, at the utmost basic level, has to deal with abundance. Jupiter being in the 5th house is favorable because the sign Jupiter rules (Pisces) is the sign Venus is exalted in. That said, Venus conjunct Jupiter in the sign of Leo equals an overflowing abundance of Venusian energy. It should also be noted that Jupiter rules a woman's husband in the birth chart. At this time, Gigi was in a VERY FAVORABLE position to meet her potential spouse. Moreover, when Jupiter crosses one’s 5th house, this indicates that a woman could meet her husband.

“Whenever Jupiter and the lord of 7th house transits the first or ninth house this is more indicative of things like Marriage commitment, deeper and strong relationships. And if Venus or Jupiter itself rule these houses then it is a double significant of relationships.“

Lord of Gigi’s 7H: Mars & Pluto

Mars was transiting her 4H, ready to cross over to her 5th

Pluto was transiting her 9H

“The seventh house represents connecting with others in a physical bonding and 9th house represents long term relationship.”

Now, remember when I said the Moon was transiting Zayn’s third house? The Moon changes signs every 2-2.5 days, so this transit came and went, but it was extremely fitting for the moment. The Moon was in Gemini, the sign of communication.

The 5th house is the house of relationships, sex, children, parties, creativity, and joys.

Where did Zayn and Gigi meet? What happens at parties? 

Venus, Jupiter, and Mercury (Gemini’s planetary ruler) were in a nice conjunction during this time. The Moon was also making a few aspects to Zayn’s natal Moon that day.

Moon in aspect with his Venus in the 1st house (opposite of the seventh house, house of long term relationships) within 1 degree of each other. Venus signifies ones girlfriend or wife in the natal chart.

Moon in aspect with his Jupiter in the 7th house (opposite of first house, house of self and the physical body)

“The ascendant represents the body in the individual of the person who wants the relationship.”

Another thing to note is the planet Uranus. Uranus is an outer planet known for causing upheaval and out-of-the-blue events. During this time, Uranus was transiting Zayn’s 1st house of self. Another thing to consider is his natal 7H Jupiter sextiling Uranus transiting his 1H, which means positive, but abrupt change in relationships. 

“This is a good time to tackle difficult tasks that have caused frustration or limitations in the past.” Venus Rx tends to bring people into your life who you’ve had a “past life” connection with.

Because of Uranus’ influence, Zayn’s life was a bit all over the place, so he found himself in a more adventurous state. Because his 11H (the 11H is responsible for social circles) Sun and transiting 1H Uranus were in a square aspect within 2 degrees, That said, Zayn was meeting new people and doing new things with said new people.

We got such a spiritual connection...

Zayn and Gigi are a great example of proving Venus Rx to be a time for cuffing szn. Despite having breaks and breakups, they’ve always found their way back to each other.

I’ve spoken to many other people to have met their partners during Venus retrograde, and almost all of them say it’s like a spark. They feel an automatic deep sense of familiarity with their partner, saying it’s like a spiritual connection.

Zayn is always singing about Gigi and him having this spiritual, fated, and past life connection:

     I been feeling high when I touch your body     That's how I feel the soul inside her body

       — Flight of the Stars (2018)

  Think I'm from space, my soul fell down   I found the Earth, not leaving now   I know your face, think you fell too   And ain't no place now, if I got you

      — If I Got You (2018)

We got such a spiritual connection, Don't you know you're fuckin' beautiful?

     — Common (2018)

I found my life in between shots and getting high The cage I was in fell away when she asked me to dance again I found my life in between a first kiss and a last goodbye

    — BRIGHT (2016)

Girl we'd still make it If the planets all faded away 

    — Imprint (2018)

I know I seen your face In different times and places

....

We can be Something divine, planets align where we should be

   — Talk to Me (2018)

With all being said, I think it’s safe to say if you’re looking for love, lookout for the next Venus retrograde (or look for 5th, 7th, or 9th house transits). Sometimes the universe throws somebody in your path and it’s fated. While Zayn and Gigi are an example in the media, I’ve seen it happen numerous times with everyday people. While some find their exes coming back around for a second try, or end up in murky karmic relationships, for the most part: Venus Rx seems to be a good place to start if you’re looking. 

Venus retrograde does not always mean things will work out because retrogrades are here to reassess things we did not master in the past. But love is all about taking chances. So take your chance, and have fun. Soul mates do exist, and you may end up finding the one.

[yessoupy]

2021 Fic Round-Up Meme

On March 3rd I wrote this godforsaken post because I just wanted to write some fucking stories but my governor was trying (is still trying) to kill me by getting rid of the mask mandate:

Then like an hour later teachers (my profession) were able to get vaxxed so I was feeling better about everything lol. Four days after that viral post, I uploaded a fic to AO3. Still in 2021 I published only 3 stories, all in one fandom, so this round-up is ... small. lol. ALSO I started grad school Fall 2021 so that sucked up a lot of my writing energy.

Total Fics Posted: 3

The Anatomy of Cold, Lewis Nixon/Dick Winters, Band of Brothers

Fort Benning, Lewis Nixon/Dick Winters, Band of Brothers

Iraq, Lewis Nixon/Dick Winters, Band of Brothers

Total Words Posted: 10,415

Total Words (of Anything Excluding Blogs) Written: Outside of published fic, I wrote about 13k words for writing assignments in 2 grad school classes (would have been much more except my second professor was a BIG fan of page limits, and also this isn't counting discussion posts). I probably have only about 3k of unpublished written text for fic.

My favorite fic story this year: I recently received a comment on Iraq that pleased me, in that the reader appreciated aspects of the story that I was trying so hard to convey. I have a couple of comments about that fic in that same vein, so I'd have to say Iraq is my favorite because it seems like I achieved my narrative goals!

My best story this year:

Story most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I mean I only have 3 from this year, so it's hard to say any are under-appreciated?? They're all in a fandom for a TV mini-series that ran 20 years ago, I feel like I need to appreciate every kudo and comment no matter how few!

Sexiest Story: Iraq, without a doubt. There's a little bit of foxhole kissing in The Anatomy of Cold because Bastogne, and most of Fort Benning is Dick being oblivious to his homosexuality. In Iraq, the sequel to Fort Benning, we have established relationship winnix returning from war.

Most fun story: Most fun (???) to write was probably The Anatomy of Cold. I wrote it after Texas had its electrical grid disaster which left me without power in sub-freezing temperatures for about 40 hours. I looked up how cold Bastogne had been during the Battle of the Bulge, and it was abnormally cold, which turns out to be the same temperature my part of Texas was for like a week. I hadn't been in weather that cold in so many years. Once I got power back, I tried to use that experience of the cold to bring as much ... reality ... to that fic as possible.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: In writing the modern military winnix AU (the place-name fics), I've had to restructure each character's purpose for joining the Army. THIS HAS BEEN DIFFICULT! And I do keep having to remind myself that the real Dick Winters enlisted to get his year of service over with, then a war broke out.

Hardest story to write: I re-wrote most of Iraq four times or so.

Biggest surprise: Ann Winters in Iraq was so easy to write????

A story I want remembered: There's only 3, lol. You can do it!!

Resolutions for 2022: I have more stories that belong in the all the places they've lived series. I want to write them. Here are the story ideas so you can bug me about them.

Dick and Lew go to San Francisco on leave and take in a Giants game. They're on the kiss cam, and Nix discovers the scorecard.

Lew is fucking miserable as an intelligence officer and decides not to re-up once his window opens. He agonizes about the decision and what impact it would have on Dick (who very much enjoys the leading and teaching elements of commanding a platoon).

Nix will leave the Army, rent a house, and they'll manage to live together with Dick still in the service.

EVENTUALLY DADT is repealed and they can come out, but this will impact Dick's promotion (to lieutenant colonel? colonel? I can't remember how old he'll be) and so he'll end up retiring.

They live happily ever after and probably adopt some older kids idk.

The original prompt was "modern AU DADT" so if you have any sparks of an idea you would like to contribute I'M ALL EARS/EYES.

I ALSO owe some winnixwelsh fic to @churchkey, because bisexual harry welsh is seriously underrepresented in this fandom (and for all of us teachers, the real harry welsh was a dream of an administrator ?????). I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN. I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME. one day when my governor (and principal...) aren't trying to kill me I WILL FINISH IT!!!!

(thank you to @aimmyarrowshigh for posting this meme before the new year!)

[aes-anime-asks]

for that bokuro thing

» how would their first date go?¿

where, when, + their first kiss maybe,,, yk, the sappy bs

💖 Oof this ended up being longer than I anticipated, I hope you like it! 💖

Kenma was sick of it. Kuroo had been prattling on about Bokuto incessantly in the weeks leading up to training camp for both years they had been in school together and even when Kenma was just a middle schooler. It was time to nudge things forward a bit.

“Kuroo, you’ve been running around in the tutorial for three years now. You need to get some huevos and level up.”

“Ugh…” Kuroo could feel Kenma’s unrelenting stare upon him. He never did beat around the bush.

“Kuroo. Look at this logically. You two are practically inseparable whenever you’re together. He gives you those weird chest bumps all the time. He tackles you when you aren’t looking. He’s practically spelling it out for you.”

“Kenma… he’s… you know... a strange person. He’s like that with everyone. I’m not even sure if he’d be into a guy.”

“Has he ever talked about a girl? Even once?”

“I mean, no.”

“Ha. So, the odds are in your favor. This might be your last chance before you graduate. If you aren’t going to make it weird, I’m going to make it weird for you.”

It was times like this when Kuroo reminded Kenma that he used to be even shyer than him. That behind his cocky bravado, there was a bashful, guarded heart. More than anything, he wanted him to be happy after high school. After he graduated, there would need to be more to life than just school and volleyball. Kenma knew that Kuroo would be fine financially, probably getting some high-paying job with big pharma, but he couldn’t help imagining him all alone in his tiny studio apartment every day: cooking a microwave dinner, watching some documentary, and falling asleep, day after day. After all he’d done for him in high school, Kenma wanted to do something in return. So, on his way home from school, he hopped a bus downtown and bought two tickets to the aquarium. He knew that if money had been put into it that Kuroo wouldn’t back out.

________________________________________________

Kuroo could feel the sweat making his jersey stick to his back. He could feel the endorphins of an exhausting day of training cursing through him like the cicada’s insistent song. The tangy smell of barbecue wafted up from the grill as the embers died down for the evening. He got one last plate and settled into the grass by the firepit next to Kenma and a bunch of the other guys. Everyone knew it was the 3rd years’ last day of the last training camp, and no one was in a hurry to leave. By the look of it, a game of truth or dare was already going strong, because sure enough, there was Kenma, holding a cicada right up to Hinata’s face.

“You don’t have to swallow. You just have to bite its head off. It’s really not that bad. There were thousands of years of famine where whole villages lived on nothing but bugs. You’re only paying tribute to your ancestors. It tastes kind of nutty.” Kenma chuckled.

Despite his look of disgust, Hinata squealed and bit the cicada.

“AHHHHH! ITS LEGS ARE STILL MOVING!!” Hinata turned over and gagged while Kenma doubled over in laughter. After he recovered, an out of breath Hinata turned to Kenma. “Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.”

“Lameee… Okay. What’s the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?”

Kenma started to explain how he pulled a fire alarm in fifth grade to get out of having to give a speech, but Kuroo’s head started pounding and he stopped listening as Hinata waved Bokuto over and he put two and two together. Were Hinata and Kenma conspiring against him? He shivered involuntarily and tried to steady his breathing. He knew exactly what was about to happen.

“Okay, Kuroo. Dare.” Kenma said. He could’ve sworn he saw Hinata giggle. He was definitely in on this.

“You need to give these to the most attractive person here.” He held out two tickets to the Shinagawa Aquarium.

The pounding started again. These kinds of nerves usually only happened to him when he was in a match and was torn about what to do next. The difference here was that he knew exactly what he needed to do. Kenma, always the perfect setter, had made sure conditions were ideal. Boy, was inter-high going to be awkward if what he was about to do next didn’t pan out. He still had an out. He could give the tickets to Kiyoko or Yachi. But he knew Kenma would never forgive him. He only hoped no one could see his face flush as he wordlessly shuffled over to Bokuto. He could have played it off as a joke, as he was sure Bokuto was going to, but he felt like he might pass out, so he smacked the tickets down on Bokuto’s thigh without making eye contact or saying a word.

“A man of good taste!” Bokuto announced in his goofy stadium announcer voice, ruffling Kuroo’s hair. Behind his façade, Kuroo could feel Bokuto’s huge eyes asking him a million questions. Questions he was not ready to answer. Not here anyway.

________________________________________________

“ned help. Calculis. Might fail. Come quick. Pls ”

Bokuto’s text had come as a horrendously spelled relief. It had been almost a week and a half since training camp. Kuroo had been obsessively checking his phone, sure that Bokuto had smushed up the tickets in his training bag and forgotten them. Or worse, used them to take some fangirl on a date. Despite Kuroo’s knack for academics, this was the first time Bokuto had directly asked for help.

Kuroo put a little extra gel in his hair, sniff checked himself, applied more deodorant, and ran out to catch the bus.

When he got to Bokuto’s place, Bokuto opened the door with sunglasses on and his keys in his hand. He did not appear to have even attempted any of his homework. It was a good thing Bokuto was talented at volleyball.

“I gave up!” Bokuto announced proudly, gesturing at the mound of papers on the ground. “But since you came all the way here, I didn’t want to waste your time. Still want to go to Shinagawa?”. The tickets weren’t crumpled. In fact, they were in perfect condition, like they had never even been in his pockets.

“Uhh... yeah.” God, Kuroo felt so awkward. He had spent so much time with Bokuto, but there had always been a net between them and a clear goal. Practice. Mess with kohai. Strategize. Eat. Now it was just the two of them wandering around. Was Bokuto fearless or oblivious? It was hard to tell. Kuroo listened as Bokuto rambled on and on about his futile attempt at calculus, and how he was worried about keeping his university scholarship if he failed, but despite the depressing topic, his tone was even more chipper than usual.

When they arrived at the aquarium, Bokuto’s eyes lit up like a little boy’s. “Kuroo? First, can we go pet the stingrays?”

Kuroo nodded and smiled just slightly as Bokuto tugged on his arm in the right direction. He listened as Bokuto pedantically explained the exact way to wiggle your fingers so that the stingrays would swim right up to you, and then precisely where you could touch them without getting close to their stinger. Bokuto’s incessant talking made it so that Kuroo’s own breathless joy didn’t lead to awkward pauses. Hours passed this way, Bokuto bursting with excitement and Kuroo riding his wave of enthusiasm.

There was one final corner of the aquarium Bokuto had been saving for last. The crowds had dispersed, and they were alone. This room was carpeted so that they could barely even hear their own footsteps in the dim lighting. They both were speechless. After a long day of crowds and Bokuto’s lengthy explanations, the silence in this room felt sacred. The only light came from the thousands of teal jellyfish floating in the indigo water.

Kuroo felt like he was standing on a ledge, like the jiggle of the diving board, as you hesitate before diving into the shockingly cold, but smooth water. He’d never been so attracted to someone before. He could listen to him for days and never get tired. Bokuto’s enthusiasm for life made him remember how it felt to be a kid, when everything was important when everything mattered. Now in the darkness, the green glow of the jellyfish playing off of Bokuto’s amber eyes, Kuroo knew he didn’t have a choice. He was jumping off. He whispered to him, not wanting to disrupt his wonder.

“Bokuto?”

Just as Bokuto turned toward him, before he could say anything, Kuroo leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. He could feel his stomach doing somersaults, vertigo overtaking him as Bokuto grabbed him back, taking his head in both of his hands and kissing him back. Hard. He felt the gentlest slip of his tongue into his mouth, forgetting where he was, knowing that he would never be able to get enough of this, of the way he tasted, the way his arm felt pressed into his back, how soft his hair felt, all the parts of him he had wanted to touch for so long. Wanting and being wanted back. Slowly the feeling of needing to faint returned and he could feel Bokuto pulling him onto a bench, holding him tight against him. His breath was soft and gentle on his neck, teasing at another kiss, but waiting until Kuroo looked back up at him, ready.

“Tetsuro… why did you make me wait so long?” Bokuto panted between urgent kisses on Kuroo’s neck.

“I… I was scared.” Kuroo hadn’t realized that there were tears brimming at the corners of his eyes and a lump in his throat.

Kuroo suddenly became aware of Bokuto’s arms, firm and warm, the same arms he had been watching for three years, holding him. Those huge hands were so gentle, his fingers massaging circles into the back of Kuroo’s neck.

“Let’s not be scared anymore, okay? Promise me, Tetsuro?”

Unable to speak, he took Bokuto’s hand and kissed it, hoping that this kiss would mean more than any words could.

[gloster]

FAVORITE FANFICS OF 2020

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

I know I speak for all when I say....I cannot wait to toss 2020 out the door the way Uncle Phil constantly did with Jazz. One of the things that got me through this rough year, besides family & friends & BTS, were fanfics.

It’s that time of year again where I make a list of all the fanfics that I absolutely adored. Some are by veteran favs of mine, others are new to me who just knocked it out of the park. If you’re interested in past lists, here is 2019′s list and 2018′s. If y’all are interested in doing your own fanfic favs of the year, please do so and tag me. Always on the hunt for new favs. 

So without furhter ado, my fav fanfics of 2020:

1). Another Word for Forever series by stardropdream (sheith)

Summary: Shiro knows better than to expect love in an arranged marriage. This is all for the sake of universal peace, after all, and solidifying a Terran-Galran alliance. At the very least, Shiro can hope to make a friend out of this. Becoming friends would be much easier, though, if he and his husband could actually communicate. 

With a language barrier and a mountain of cultural differences between them, getting to know Keith proves to be a challenge. Luckily, Shiro's always worked well with challenges.

2020 shockingly became the year of sheith. I ended up rewatching the show w/my bestie @littlenightdragon​. Diving more deeply into it w/my other bestie @kila09​. She and I spent the better half of this year devouring so many fanfics of them in various AUs. I came across new fanfic authors, and stardropdream is among them. 

If I could describe this series & stardropdream, I’ll take a cue from Lady Gaga: “ talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it”

This series was just PERFECTION. I’ve gotten into arranged-marriage AUs and this has been one of the best I’ve read. It was just perfection. The language barrier definitely added an extra charm to it, in which Shiro finds his own ways to get to know his husband better: both creative and funny ways. So many cute moments, so many funny moments with Hunk being the translating middle man between them, and the smut. THE SMUT. THE SMUT. THE SMUT. Just *chef’s kiss* Incredible. It was just so so sweet, and such a comfort read. I reread this series 5 times already and hope Robin (the writer) does more stories in this AU.

Please read this series. You’re not gonna regret it. It will MELT your heart. 

Honorable Mentions:

If I Called You Mine

Sail Across the Sky Just to Get to You

Finding Shelter (The Alien Baby Remix)

Say You Do(n’t)

2). The Golden Hour by @goldentruth813​ (sheith)

Summary:  After a space mission failure, Shiro loses his arm and his career. Two years later he's settled into a quiet and simple new life on his farm, but when a beautiful alien crashes in his field, he discovers the answers to his questions—and possibly the keys to his future—will come from the stars.

I’m sure no one, least of all Janel the writer herself, is surprised to see this author featured on this list. For now the 3rd year in a row. WOOOW  👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿 She is the reason I got into shieth, and she just continues to put out amazing conent with them. This story by far has been the best she’s done this year-possibly one of the best ever. 

We have Shiro trying to have a simple life at the farm with his dog and animals. A curious BOM Keith who shakes things up with his boldness/innocence-and questions bound to test blood pressure, especially Shiro’s. Loads of cute moments, loads of funny moments, and also loads of oreos. 

If summary and my thoughts don’t sell you, only one thing will: reading it for yourself.

Honorable mentions:

Two Hearts in Bloom

Mountain Men

Home is in Your Heart

3). Spun like Gold by Neyasochi (sheith)

Summary: Though Shiro is currently operating his fledgling bakery business out of a decrepit food truck he got for cheap in a repossession sale, he dreams of something more: a cozy bakery and cafe on a tree-lined street somewhere, filled with the smell of fresh coffee and sugar glaze instead of diesel. A little money could go a long way to helping him get off the ground-- and luckily, Keith has money to burn.

Or: Keith takes care of Shiro’s financial woes, in exchange for a little sugar.

OMG, OMG, OMG was this story so sweet. Neyasochi already sold me with the baking/baker Shiro trope, but went a step further throwing in sugar-daddy Keith who knows his way around his manic family and cars, but when it comes to asking a cute guy out? What better way to make an impression than becoming his best paying customer?  

Honorable mentions:

oh, devour me

Healing Touch

on your hand of gold 

4). The Destiny You Sold by @tryslora​ (drarry)

Summary: In which Draco knits, Harry makes wands, and things get very tangled up between them.

If there’s one thing I love about fanfics is how they introduce you to tropes you never would consider before. Draco and knitting was a combo I didn’t realize how much I needed until now. And I love the fact knitting played a big part of the accidental bonding. Also loved the fact everyone in their friend group shipped them like crazy. Highly, highly recommend 

5) What’s My Age Again? by @lazywonderlvnd​ (drarry)

Summary: Harry Potter has had enough of pleasing the public, and his reckless tendencies are finally getting out of hand.

The Quidditch World Cup is only a week away; as Captain of the English National Team, Hermione has assured him that his immaturity won’t be tolerated by the Ministry.

And then Malfoy shows up.

(Inspired by the blink-182 song of the same name.)

It’s no secret that I’m such a fangirl of @lazywonderlvnd​. Any drarry story I read, I always love. Last year, I ADORED The Changing Lights, which was one of my favorites last year, and her updating/finishing the story was a massive highlight for me. I thank ya for that. 

This story was honestly refreshing. I’ve grown so used to Harry being responsible, always doing what’s right, that seeing a story where Harry pretty much has his middle finger in the air to “good reputation”, “being responsible,” because as he brought up: “I’m 25. I’ve been fighting all my life. I’ve earned my life to have fun.”

Okay, granted, it wasn’t quite like that but it was along those lines. And I agree. After all he went through, Harry deserves to have fun. He deserves to be reckless and make stupid decisions.

Also, it was such a blast reading a story where Harry is the brat & Draco has to keep him in line. LOVED.

Honorable mentions: 

Inside Your Mind

Aletheia

6). Chocolate and Pastry by agentmoppet, anemonen (drarry)

Summary:  When Pansy bets Draco that there is no chance he and Harry could carry out a genuine romantic relationship, he and Harry form a plan. But as their fake relationship progresses, Draco sees a side of Harry he never expected. Harry is struggling with something, pushing it far down inside him where he doesn't have to acknowledge its existence. Draco starts to worry, and then he starts to care, and then... horribly... he starts to fall in love.

Do not let the title fool you like it did me. Title alone, I was thinking it was going to be a fun, fluffy story involving baking, maybe chocolate crafting. However....it was not that at all. It was more. A lot deeper. A lot more angsty. It explored mental health, PTSD and the dangers of loved ones ignoring the signs, and contained an important message:

You can’t love someone out of their illness/disease/ addiction. Which is true and this story showed that. 

7). i’m still here by owedbetter (zutara)

Summary: "You see me."

And somehow, that makes all the difference.

If there’s one of the few good things 2020 has brought, it was Netflix bringing back ATLA to their library. Which in turn ignited my love for zutara & had me drag @kila09​ into that ship. 

This story was just incredible. The way it was written, it really felt like it could have been canon. Deleted scenes that a certain creator didn’t want us to see. The way Zuko and Katara came together, starting from their peaceful friendship after the Southern Raiders episode up, becoming closer along the way. 

I dare y’all to read this and not think OMG...is this secret canon bonus material? I definitely plan to read more by owedbetter. 

8). all the what ifs i never said by rosegardenlake (sheith)

Summary:  Keith is nine when he first notices Shiro. Shiro is gentle and quiet, always keeping to himself. Keith is rough and loud, running wherever his feet will take him, screaming on the top of his lungs into the wind. But despite that, they're a constant throughout each other's lives...if only that could be enough. As they grow, Keith just wants them both to be happy, but instead, he's falling apart.

Rosegardenlake is another sheith writer who I adored last year & adore this year as well. This was a story that I read during the beginning of quarantine-life and when I tell you the number of times Keith’s emotions of loneliness got to me, it’s a big number. 

Keith’s struggle with life after high school, after peaking in school, and his mental health reminded me too much of where I was at 2018, which wasn’t a good year for me at all, especially mentally. So that was triggering but it was also helpful since I saw how far I came. And it was beautiful seeing how far Keith came. 

Also the relationship between Shiro and Keith was just beautiful. It’s very funny how Keith was Shiro’s protector growing up and Shiro became Keith’s later on in life. There’s a chance your heart may be heavy, but will also be so swelled up with feelings these two bring it. 

Honorable mentions:

Where the Light Doesn’t Reach 

9). When Night Comes by Oh_Hey_Tae (BTS; poly ot7)

Summary: Jungkook’s tipsy, but he’s not buzzed enough to miss that he doesn’t recognize any of the four dozen people here. And seeing as his friends aren’t ones to ditch and there’s no way they’d play a prank this mean on him, Jungkook reaches the conclusion that he just walked into a stranger’s very expensive home, uninvited, and started eating their food and petting their well-dressed dog.

(Or: Jungkook shows up to the wrong Halloween party and meets the most powerful family in Seoul.)

I can easily say Oh_Hey_Tae easily one of my favorite BTS fanfic favs. Always come through with the stories, and this one was just amazing. We have Jungkook stumbling into a Halloween story, and soon enters into a intense, insane relationship with all six guys, who are already in a relationship with each other. Oh, and supernatural creatures at that. 

You do see certain relationships are stronger, deeper. For example, a lot of moments between Jin and Jungkook. Vmin has their own story and moments. But it was just so amazing. 

Fair warning. Halfway through, things get darker and Oh_My_Tae really loves playing readers diirty with the angst, but it’s so good. 

10). peace-weaver by magisterpavus (sheith)

Summary: You will be the peace-weaver, his mother told him, smiling though her dark eyes welled with unshed grief. The one who brings two bitter enemies together and ends the bloodshed and death between us, once and for all.

But men will always crave war. The Galra, most of all.

Yet another arranged-marriage AU that I loved. This particular one is well-loved in the sheith fandom. I can definitely say it’s considered one of the classic fanfics that’s been read or shared at one point or another. 

The story itself reminded me a lot of Macbeth, involving murder and dark forces at bay. The dynamics between Shiro and Keith reminded me of Drogo and Daenerys from GOT, one of my fav couples there, which only made it all the more better for me. 

I do credit the author for the creative approach they took with quintessence and Shiro’s role/persona as the Champion

Honorable mentions:

The Boy in the Window 

Sheith Demon/Priest AU

A Matter of Scale

Directive 

Honorable mentions that I seriously wanted to add to the list but this post is already lengthy. All amazing, all greats reads by various writers y’all should check out:

Hold Me Tight, or Don’t by snowfallen (yoonmin with a Mr. & Mrs. Smith AU featuring assassins and hitmen, secret identities, fake marriage, and a lot of smut)

The Prince and Pirate by Maniacani, @nerdherderette​ (drarry with a splash of royalty and pirates. Perfect if you’re needing to fill in any Pirates of the Caribbean or Black Sails cravings)

First Kisses are the Best Ones by SashaDistan (sheith in a 50 First Dates Fusion heartfelt/heart-gutting story)

freely, as men strive for right by @bixgirl1​ (drarry w/Harry explaining the many ways why Draco’s the love of his life. we love to see it)

The Sacrificed by SasuNarufan13 (sasunaru w/ dark fairytale elements similar to Little Red Riding Hood & Beauty and the beast + feat. mpreg)

Chasing Treacle Tart (and Draco Malfoy) by xErised (drarry feat. lunch lady Draco + scheming Harry + loads of fun w/sweets & more)

Red Desert by @beatitudinembty​ (taekook in a unique sci-fi AU; hard to explain but so worth a read

one way ticket to another life by starboykeith (sheith Hades x Persephone background)

Even So by lewilder (zutara; arranged marriage+ language barrier +soft strangers to lovers)

Well, lovely people, there you have it. My top 10 favorite fanfics of the year. I do notice a certain ship shows up a lot on this list, but I wasn’t kidding when I said they took over this year. Still, I tried to mix the list up with other fav ships/fandoms of mine. To the writers who created these incredible stories. I applaud you. I thank you for creating and sharing these wonderful stories. Anyone interested in doing the tag, please do. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR, GUYS