#BUT ANYWAY i'm slow so ! i appreciate you guys hanging in there ! i'm just letting my queue continue 2 roll out replies

[soapisahimbo]

NSFW ABC - Simon 'Ghost' Riley Edition

Here he is, finally! The man, the myth, the legend! I'll be honest, I actually had a bit of a hard time on this one, and I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for too long, so I sincerely hope you enjoy!

Contains heavy smut elements, so minors stay away!

warnings: senseless smut, detailed descriptions, ghost is a dirty lad but secretly a softie, hinted at female anatomy

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex):

Methodical, but not without warmth. He asks you genuinely if you're ok, if anything hurts, if you want to get in the shower or if you want him to go get a towel to clean you off so that you can lay down to rest, depending on how intense the session was - a little bit like damage control. He might take you to the shower anyways if he thinks it's the best option for you, but he'll do most of the work. He can be quite rough even when he tries to tone it down, so he wants to make sure he hasn't caused you any actual harm in the heat of the moment and he does that best by actually looking after you. He does love it if you wash him off as well, scrubbing over his chest and arms, but he won't really say much. He'll just let out a low, rumbling sigh and lean his cheek against the top of your head and honestly that alone tells you all you need to know. He lets you cup his face and plants all the kisses you want on his face and mouth, simply holding you in his arms and relishing in the moment.

Once you've started cleaning up and checking in on each other in this fashion, any extra rounds is pretty much out of the question. This is to wind down, to relax, to clean off, put on some comfortable clothes, settle back down into bed and hold each other close. Not that Simon can't go on for what feels like forever, but he greatly appreciates the peace and quiet he gets with you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):

As far as Simon's concerned, his body serves its' purpose well. He doesn't exactly lack confidence, but he's by no means vain, and rarely looks at himself in the mirror unless it's to get a better angle to check on wounds or to clean himself. He's found a certain pride in his arms though, mainly because he can wrap them around you like some sort of boa constrictor and there's little you can do to escape it. He finds a sort of hidden, perhaps slightly sadistic, glee in that you can't do much else but take what he gives you (he's not an asshole, though - should you give even the slightest hint that you were uncomfortable or didn't want it, he'd let you go in an instant and make sure you're ok).

As for you, he is quietly obsessed your hands and your hips. Feeling your hands roam over his body is addicting, because he's not quite used to being touched in the way that you touch him, and your hips fit perfectly in his own hands (and his own hips fit perfectly there, too). But all in all, no matter how much he loses himself in the crooks and curves of your body, it's your eyes that do him in every time. He doesn't want to admit it, but it's why he mostly buries his face in your neck or takes you from behind. Your eyes make him weak. If you look into his eyes and beg him for whatever (to slow down, to speed up, to let you come) or even worse, say his name, you'll send shivers through his entire body. He tries not to let it get to his head, but the effect that you have on him, the way something in him falls apart when your eyes meet... it almost scares him. If you get a chance to take control, even for a second, grab him by the hair and demand that he looks you in the eye when he fucks you. You'll render him not only speechless, but also absolutely feral.

He wants to be methodical about this too, but he loses himself far too easily in you, and cumming all over your lower stomach and hole scratches some sort of itch in him that he didn't quite know he had. He will keep your thighs spread just so he can watch it drip down between them, and will most likely push it into you either with his fingers or his cock, fucking you a bit more until you cum again. If he has it in him, he'll cum in you once more and spread your hole just so he can watch as it leaks back out (before fingering it back into you yet again). Won't say a word during it, but you'll feel his eyes practically burning into your skin.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically):

He will absolutely cum down your throat if you let him and you can take it, keeping a close eye on you so that you're not actually uncomfortable or struggling. Wants you to show him that you've swallowed it all down though, or spit it back out on his cock so that he can fuck it into you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):

Before the two of you actually got together, you had a fling with another soldier at the base. Simon never commented on it, but he kept an eye on you in case he turned out to be an asshole or something. He tried not to give it too much thought; he just wanted to make sure you were all right. Totally not because he was jealous or anything, obviously.

He was actually looking for you when it happened, he just hadn't expected to find you in this... condition. Peering around the corner, he froze when found you pinned up against the wall in an empty hallway, with this fucker's tongue down your throat and his hand down your pants, panting and moaning into the kiss. He was suddenly struck by a strong urge to grab that dickhead and throw him out a helicopter at full speed and show you that he could give you something much better than whatever this was. He clenched his fists, thinking to himself that if he had you against the wall like this, he'd make sure you couldn't stay quiet. He'd have you crying out his name, shaking and quivering, gushing all over his fingers. That pipsqueak had nothing on him.

He considered stepping in and interrupting you, some dark voice in his mind telling him to take over, but he settled on simply slipping away quietly, not being able to stop the images in his head of pinning you against the wall, or against his bed and taking you the way you deserved to be taken.

He never told you about how he saw you with that dipshit, or how it made him jealous, or how he's fantasized about you since even before that. But once he'd simmered on it for too long and he got the chance to talk to you, he told you enough for you to know that he wanted you, that he'd wanted you for a while now, and that if you gave him the go, he'd take you then and there.

Safe to say, you gave it to him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?):

He does have a good amount of experience from when he was younger, but he hasn't really engaged in it in a good while. He has men and women offer themselves up to him at regular intervals, he just 1. never trusts a stranger enough to put himself in a vulnerable position like that and 2. isn't really into one-night-stands, even if it were with a close friend. Before you, he took it upon himself to find relief if he ever felt the need to. Now that he has you, he doesn't need anything else.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying):

He greatly enjoys holding you down in a mating press, caging you in and leaning in close to your face to kiss you or to growl something into your ears. But as mentioned before, he's a bit weaker to your eyes than he'd like to admit, so more often than not, he takes you from behind in some way, like if you're standing or you're on your knees and he keeps you upright by grabbing your arms and pulling you back into him. He prefers pressing his entire body into you though, deep and close, giving you that sense of not being able to escape him. Doesn't let you close your legs, doesn't let you shy away, doesn't let you touch yourself.

If you want to take control, and happen to get the chance, take it. As hardheaded as he is and dominant as he might seem, he molds himself by your hands like the softest clay you could ever imagine, and he wants you to use him even if he's "in charge". If you wrap your hand around his throat, it puts him almost in a daze; you can see his pupils dilate as you straddle him and grind him into you, you can hear a soft rumble in his chest as you pull his head back by his hair and trail kisses and bites along his neck. If you tell him to keep his hands off or you tie them to the headboard or behind his back, you'll see his muscles tense as he struggles against his restraints, be they physical or just in his mind.

He's also a surprisingly big fan of 69 - he likes the combination of the taste and heat of you on his face and your moans on his dick.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.):

He's no stranger to getting a chuckle out of you; you'll tease each other every now and then and he might huff out a breath in amusement at some point or other, but for the most part he's very serious. He's focused on you, how you feel, how you sound and regardless of if this is a session to rid tension and frustration, or if it's a warmer, more tender round, he doesn't want to waste any energy on anything other than fucking you.

He might chuckle when he sees your eyes roll back or when you can't quite form coherent words, and he'll grin when he fucks the living daylight out of you after you've laughed just a little too hard at him for any reason. Some sort of semi-sadistic humour is ever-present, but you'll never hear him laugh outright, and you'll be too far out of it to focus on anything anyway.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.):

He's not a very hairy man, but the hair that he has is mainly light and surprisingly soft, fairly thick and curly-ish. He might give it a trim every now and then for the sake of comfort, usually before heading out for deployment, but other than that he doesn't give it too much thought. He couldn't really care less about the presence or lack of body hair, be it on himself or on you. If you were to ask him nicely to trim it down because maybe you don't like the way it feels, then sure. But if you were to find it yucky for any reason, he'd tell you to grow up. There's nothing to be grossed out about - he's very clean.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect):

He might not seem like it, and he surely doesn't say anything about it, but he greatly cherishes the moments where he gets to lay down with you and relax. There's no need to say anything, no need to do anything; you can just lay in his arms and listen to his steady heartbeat. As rough as he can be, he genuinely loves cupping your face in his hands and kissing you deeply. He's not very vocal about his emotions, but he makes sure to show them to you in your most private moments.

He wants to hold you when he gets the chance to and having you lay on top of him helps ground him. He once told you that he enjoys the weight of you on him and you offered to get him a weighted blanket, but the only weighted blanket he wants is you (also he doesn't want one with him to base or to missions - it sends him into a far too deep of a sleep than what might be safe in a time where he needs to be ready spring to action at any moment).

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon):

He has convinced himself that he doesn't need to. Not that he doesn't get the urge to, because when time away from you has dragged on, he gets... restless. He's usually way more irritable in the last week or so on a mission, and the ever so observant Soap might joke that the lieutenant needs to "blow off some steam" before he blows off one of their heads - "if you need to sneak off for a minute or so, I won't tell the captain." ("Fuckin' shut up, Johnny.")

It's like he's come to the conclusion that he can hold out. He usually doesn't jack off on missions anyway, but it's gotten a bit more challenging now that he knows that you're waiting for him back home. He kind of scolds himself, tells himself that it was never a problem before, so why would it be a problem now? But he remembers you, he thinks of you and he misses you and so it adds a variable that wasn't there before. He tries to keep his thoughts at bay, but the longer he's away from you, the more salacious the thoughts become. He might get off once while back at base and in the privacy of his own room, depending on how much longer the mission is going to last, but if it's just a week or so left, he'll hold off and his teammates will just have to deal with his bad mood. Just be prepared for when he gets back to you, because he will definitely not use his own hand now that he has you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks):

He's not a fullblown sadist, but he does have a little vein of it running through him. Tying you down, blindfolding you and just generally forcing you to be at the mercy of him scratches some sort of itch in him. He's not doing it as a form of punishment though, and it's not meant to be just for his own pleasure; it's more like he needs to prove something to you almost. It's like he wants to give you everything he thinks you deserve, even if it's more than you can handle. If you listen closely (if you even have the ability to still hear him), you might hear him whispering for you to keep going, to keep cumming, to give him more. You will need to establish some safewords with him right out of the gate, because he overstimulates you like it's his only purpose in life.

Because of the great satisfaction he gets from feeling your weight on top of him though, having you ride him in pretty much anyway you can is greatly appreciated. Sitting on his face, on his dick, on his thigh - just any way that he can have you draped over him is top notch. He might actually have more of a masochistic side to him, because he likes it when you scratch him and pull his hair, and he loves feeling like he's practically drowning in you. Overstimulating him might not be an incredibly regular occurrence, but if you get the chance to, do it, and do it well.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do):

Bed. He'll have you anywhere within the confines of your home if that's what you want, but he prefers the bed. That's where he can completely unravel you and it's where he feels it's safest. That's not to say he hasn't fucked you in the shower or on the dinner table, or that you haven't had your moments where you've barely made it in through the front door. You rile him up easily; almost too easily. If you were to undress right out on the street, he'd probably fuck you right there.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going):

For anyone who doesn't know him, it's easy to think that he just never experiences emotions. The deadpan stare, the monotone voice, the way that he just seems generally disinterested in pretty much everything. But you know better. The way he tilts his head towards you, the way he discreetly takes a deep breath when you say or do something suggestive, the way his eyes follow your every move with a hooded gaze, or the way he reaches out to you but waits for you to close the last bit of distance between you. You know it well.

As established before, he has a weak spot for your eyes; when you look at him and tell him what you want or just that you love him, he feels something in him melt. Fluttering touches over his shoulders or chest, nuzzling your body in close to his and wrapping your arms around him are all ways to warm up that supposedly "cold" heart of his.

Keep in mind though, he's a man of action. If you tease him, make sure you're ready to face the consequences - especially if you're in an environment where he can't just have you right away.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs):

As rough as he might be, whether he has a sadistic hint to him or not, he would never want to do anything that would leave scars on you. Bruises, hickeys, scratches, sure. But never anything that would actually leave any sort of permanent mark. Also doesn't want to cause you any actual physical pain; he can overwhelm you, he can leave you feeling sore, he can make you feel like you've been run through a cycle in the washing machine, but he'll never hurt you.

If you tell him that something doesn't feel good or hurts or that there's something that you just don't like, rest assured he'll back off in an instant.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.):

Sit. On. His. Face. Fucking sit on it and do it now. He will give you no chance to escape his grip or tongue, and he will keep you there until you're just shy of passing out. He loves rendering you nothing but a quivering mess, but he also finds it strangely grounding - the weight of you, your taste, your heat; it's like it heals something in him. He'll tell you to get on him whenever he's in a bad mood or stressed out, and you can never quite predict how long he'll go on for, but you often get to see a part of him that you think no one else has ever seen. He practically suffocates himself in you and you'd be more worried if you weren't so lost in your own pleasure. It's almost something masochistic in him that has him drive himself towards blacking out, because if you can manage to look at him the few times that he actually breaks away to breathe, you'll see his eyes roll and his eyelids flutter. He'll take a huge gulp of air and slur out something about how he wants, no, needs more before he dives back in with a rough moan. Doesn't let you pull away when you cum, because he wants you to cum right down his throat.

When you suck him off, he leans back and watches you, breathing deeply and heavily, and lets you take as much of him as you can in whatever pace you can. If you're struggling, he'll tell you that you're doing good and that he's proud of however much you can fit in your mouth. If you're not struggling at all, he'll chuckle and maybe call you a "dirty little one", but he loves it. As mentioned before, he wants to see you either swallow his cum down, or spit it back out on his cock to keep going, but he also loves shoving his tongue into your mouth, letting any residue of him left dribble out onto your chin.

He might not go for 69 every time, but he takes great enjoyment in knowing that you're trying your hardest not to stop sucking him off even if you're losing your mind at the whim of his tongue. Crosses off multiple things on his list, and so when you do indulge in it, he makes sure neither of you are rushing it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.):

He goes at very steady pace; it's not slow, but it's not fast either. He can speed up to drive you to the edge faster or slow down to draw it out, but no matter what the pace is, you can bet that it'll be deep and heavy. Somehow, it never gets predictable. You joked with him that not only is Simon 'Ghost' Riley an expert at sneaking up on enemies on the battlefield, but also at making you cum when you least expect it. It got a little chuckle out of him (and about four orgasms out of you), but it's true. You don't know how he does it, but somehow he brings you to climax even when you don't feel like you're that close to it. It's like he knows exactly where all your little buttons are - even the ones you didn't even know you had.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.):

He's disciplined and he's headstrong, but he doesn't have the patience or fortitude for quickies - once he's started, he'll be going for a good fucking while. Besides, you need a proper warmup before you can actually take him - he's far too thick otherwise. If you're feeling impatient and like you really can't wait, he'll give you his fingers, but just know that it is taking every single microscopic little grain of him to not just rip your clothes off and fuck you good.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.):

He won't do anything outright sexual in public - at least not that anyone sees or notices. He'll whisper into your ear and sneak a few touches here and there, he'll give you a heated gaze that is gone as quickly as it appeared, and for a while you'll think you're going insane; it's like he's using his tactics against you, to tease you.

Other than that, he wants to keep that stuff inside the safety of your own home for the most part. As far as experimenting goes, he'll give most things a whirl if you really want him to, as long as it's within some realm of reality.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?):

He will practically never be the first to tap out, just so you know. While he might not be able to cum time and time again, he makes sure that when he does cum, he makes it count. You could swear that you've had like 5 rounds back to back, but honestly, it's usually 1-2 rounds that just feel like they last an eternity because he uses practically all of him to make you cum as many times as he can.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?):

Not for him, no. As for you though? More tools to make you cum, pretty much.

He doesn't think he needs them, and he doesn't actually care all that much for them; but every now and then, when he's feeling like a little shit, or he thinks you've had it coming, he'll have you close to passing out if given the chance.

He's not threatened by them. He knows that he can make you feel so much better than whatever toys you have. You're free to use them as much as you want when he's away, but if you use them while he's there, he'll either take over to "show you how it's done", or he'll take a seat and tell you to give him a good show.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease):

It's probably safe to say that Simon is not a very fair man. He'll drive you up the wall when he feels like it, acting like everything is right as rain while you feel like he's already fucked you just from looking at you.

He'll deliberately slow down or pause when he can tell that you're close and grin lazily at you when you complain, he'll whisper the absolute filthiest things to you while passing by before moving on like nothing happened, he'll sneak up on you just to snatch you up and kiss the breath out of you before he just walks away.

So if you can, give him a taste of his own medicine, will you? He deserves it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.):

Very quiet other than maybe a few sighs, grunts and whispers. Every now and then you might get a moan out of him, but he tends to hold them back. Not because he's ashamed or anything, but because he'd much rather hear you. He'll whisper endless praise and dirty nothings to you, but that's the most you'll get out of him, sound-wise.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character):

This was actually insane, and very unlike him. Well, having you up against the wall and hanging in his arms by the crook of your knees wasn't entirely unlike him - but fucking you in someone else's bathroom definitely was. You had been invited to a little dinner party over at Mactavish's place, and the whole team and some of their older colleagues were there. You were having a good time, and you were sure that Simon was, too, but at one point during the evening, he told you he needed your help with something. You were none the wiser to his plans - he had some stitches on the back of his shoulder and you thought that maybe he just needed you to check on them.

He took you into the bathroom, closed and locked the door and before you could get a word out, he turned to you, unbuckled your belt and pressed you up against the wall as he shoved his hand down your underwear. He covered your mouth with his own, making sure to keep any suspicious sounds confined to this room.

You completely lost your sense of time, but at some point, after fingering you into oblivion, he'd tugged your pants halfway down your legs, hoisted you up and there you were; trying your absolute hardest to stay quiet while you hung helplessly in his arms as he fucked you without even a moment's pause. He didn't say a word, didn't utter the slightest sound, he just stared intently at you and rammed into you with a determination that you'd never seen in any other man before. You didn't know how you were going to explain the weakness in your legs and the sweat and flush of your face once the two of you went back out to the party, but at the moment, you were far from capable of forming any sort of coherent thought anyways, so you'd just give that job to Simon once he was done.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes):

Sits somewhere between 6-6.5 inches, and he's quite a bit thicker than most others that would have the same length. As mentioned before, you need a proper and thorough warmup before you can take him and he's generous with it, so even though you always feel the stretch when he pushes into you, it's never a painful one. It just leaves you speechless, that's all.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?):

While he always wants you near, it's not always sexual. He needs the calm and domestic moments just as much as he needs the more intimate and sexual ones. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen often though; it might not be an "every single day"-thing, but it's not far from it. He's clear to let you know when he wants you, but he likes it more when you initiate.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards):

He actually stays awake for a good while after that, taking the time to simply listen to you breathe and feel your heartbeat against his chest. He usually doesn't like complete and utter silence because his ears are most likely ringing from chronic tinnitus, but the sounds of your sleep are just enough to keep him distracted from it. He also takes this time to commit everything about you to memory (as if he hasn't already). He oh so carefully caresses your cheek, strokes your hair and presses a soft kiss to your forehead, but you never notice, and he'll never tell you. Once he's satisfied and once he's finally convinced himself that you're not going anywhere, he'll finally settle and close his eyes to sleep.

[sylvaridreams]

i have to ramble about gw2 tumblr and why i like it and how much i appreciate you guys hold on. long + a minor vent maybe below the cut.

I was in the community like 8 and 9 years back, pretty active in... 2014-2016 maybe? and *I* had a lot of fun just sharing stuff and reblogging and gushing about things and how much I liked other peoples' characters, but always felt a wall of separation with other bloggers who Did Not seem to appreciate it or want to be near me so it was like. simultaneously a lot of fun and also very isolating at times. anyway didn't play for a bit then couldn't play for a long while... coming back to the game, and then later the community early this year, I feel like I found all the right people to follow and lurk around and talk to. like for the most part it feels like people are as excited to be here as i was and am, it feels like everyone's having a similar amount of fun as opposed to just like, tolerating me silently. and I really like being able to share stuff that I make here sometimes.

I have a complex about being too much/ too annoying to others, and with being ignored, and my friends are aware that I have this kind of issue and that being ignored hurts me a lot. And several of them have similar complexes resulting from being ignored and mocked as children so I know they get how painful it is to have those feelings set off. But I've been told that it's selfish and unrealistic that I want my friends to care about things I say and do so it's. I dunno it doesn't make sense to me but I'm viewing it from my own perspective so maybe they see something else... but it's frustrating and hurts to talk about my stuff and post things especially art I'm really proud of and it'll be dead silent for like 3 days, and then someone else will post art and the chat will blow up with everyone discussing their art instead. 🧍‍♂️ I don't know. feels selfish just to say. I can get friends not reading my writing or what I say on chats or not wanting to come to my streams, or a cold shoulder to a certain point... I just don't really share stuff with friends anymore, because knowing that they don't care about my stuff and that it's wrong to want them to care about it doesn't make it hurt less for me. I'm working on that to try to change that about myself but it's slow.

Anyway all this to say I really appreciate having the gw2 community u_u I live a pretty isolating existence and I don't get to go crazy and talk about my stuff often or show people what I've made. And I love seeing everyone else get to do the same. It's a lot of fun even like. Holding myself back to not be too ? weird about everything in the world. I'm having a lot of fun and I enjoy seeing peoples' characters and reading their lore and reading AU stuff, and just looking at your posts with my big eyes. I'd love to play with more of you in game too. Um but that's basically it, thanks for being cool and letting me hang out and blorbo post among you. it means a lot that so many people get excited about Alba for me. like at the April art party when I showed up and people came running at me to see me it was startling and I clammed up out of nerves but also it was? reaffirming that people actually like him and wanted to come see him! 😊 OK wrapping it up cool community, having a good time. meow. alba image for whoever reads this.

[shockpop]

how  ya  doin .

[fischltao]

╔══════════════╗

A Burning Hill, Chapter 2

╚══════════════╝

CHAPTER 1

characters: levi ackerman x fem!reader

warnings: spoilers for season 1-2 of attack on titan, a looot of angst, swearing, slow burn, soft levi, fighting, major character deaths

a/n: okay so i was supposed to have this up during the weekend but my mental health has been so bad that i couldn't get it done on time. nevertheless i hope you guys enjoy this chapter and thank your for the feedback on chapter 1, i appreciate you guys so much and hope you enjoy this part just as much♡

845 AD

it would only keep getting worse. even when the government felt that citizens of paradis were safe from the titans with the protection of the walls, everything fell apart in a single fateful evening.

an abnormal, beyond the south gate of shiganshina district. it was different this time. the titan looming over the wall had a unique and threatening appearance. it was colossal, its height helping it reach over the wall and gaze upon the terrified eyes of wall maria residents.

and then chaos erupted.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"why am i always stuck on training duties?"

"as you know, instructor martens passed away on our latest expendition. you will train the newcomers just for this week and then you'll return to your duties of being co-captain to the levi-y/l/n squad" goddamn it erwin. goddamn it. it wasn't that she hated the idea of training the newbies, she had done it before. it was that she would be missing the expendition taking place in shiganshina, that she helped plan

"what about this week's expendition? i am the one who planned it"

"levi, hange and i have you covered. he agreed to lead your team by himself, much to his dismay. however i can't imagine anyone better than to train our new soldiers, i promise its an one time thing" erwin suggested and she huffed, falling back in her seat. if it was just for one week then so be it. to be put quite simply, she couldn't say no to erwin and being informed that her absence would be covered was an okay reason for her to worry less about. besides the scouts have been lacking manpower lately and she would feel at ease if she knew that she could contribute on shaping erwin's vision. just what was his vision again?

"you're not too bad at training" an all too familiar voice reverberated through erwin's office. y/n didn't even have to turn her head back to confirm levi's precense as a soft laugh escaped her lips.

"yeah obviously. the training grounds are on the south, that means i'll probably have to leave in a bit so i can arrive early. where is hange? at least we can all have dinner together before i go, right?"

"let's head to the dining area, hange is probably waiting for us with moblit and miche" erwin nodded as he got up and walked past levi and y/n, leaving them behind his trail.

"you'll come back to me in one piece"

"is that an order?"

"yes"

"we're equals now, i don't take orders from you brat" he teased "i had no other plans anyways, who are you going to make tea to when im gone?"

"probably hange and erwin"

"that tea is only for me, i'm gonna haunt your ass" and if it wasn't more obvious that these two had a more profound bond then erwin didn't know. sometimes he swore he could cut the tension with the knife and for the first time he lost a bet to hange. at first he didn't believe that levi and y/n would be getting this close even when the two would be caught staring at each other from across the room.

it was a mutual understanding to everyone that levi and y/n were more than just co-captains.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"eren, you really want to be a scout member, don't you?" y/n spoke softly, crouching down next to the green eyed brunette. she could tell the boy was disappointed that he couldn't use his odm gear correctly, as every time he tried to stabilize himself he'd just turn, feet looking up in the air and head hitting the ground with a thud every time.

"i want to destroy every single titan, captain. i want to kill them all" yeah you're not the only one, she thought. just then it hit her that many of those kids in front of her were present to that fateful day. most of them had lost their family and friends during the incident and she could tell from the determination in their eyes that they would go far.

"i trust you eren" she got up and walked over a beautiful girl with jet black hair that reminded her of levi's and a red scarf, leaving eren still dangling upside down "dear, can you lend your odm mechanism to eren? i suppose there's something wrong with his" and she was right. as soon as the boy put on his friend's equipment and tried swinging, he was floating like any normal person would. just as she thought.

y/n walked back to the small stage, smiling softly as he heard the excitement reeking from the young group of friends. at the end of the day they were just kids being kids. training was hard but they've had enough of their childhood pried away from them. little moments like these never hurt. she wished that one day kids wouldn't have to be forced away from their families and trained only to die by the jaws of titans. maybe one day they would be free from this curse. and maybe then, she could open that tea shop she always wanted. maybe levi would stick around and help her too.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"maybe you should think twice about kicking the shit out of my students" her tone on a fine line between bored to death and teasing. that trial was awfully draining and boring. since when did everyone think they could share their opinion on something they have zero knowledge on? still noone knew how to handle a titan shifter but the military police thinking they had a say in this was just a poorly written joke "besides i haven't given my testament yet"

"go ahead"

"we can use the kid to our benefit. killing him would only cause more harm and i believe it would be a serious mistake to do so. honestly he could just turn into a titan right now and kill us all for all i care. i don't see how this would benefit either parties. anyways, i said what i had to say. there are people in here with absolutely zero knowledge over titans, why are we letting them do the talking? correct me if im wrong" her cold gaze met levi's across the room as she support her weight with her elbows on the stool "go on, im curious to see how this ends"

captain y/l/n never failed to stun everyone wherever she stepped foot in. both from her beauty and boldness. in this situation, the latter was enough to turn heads her way. levi absolutely hated that. first and foremost because she deserved much better than the lewd stares of strangers upon her ethereal beauty and last but not least due to her well...controversial choice of words and audacity. even if he admired her bravery, he knew sooner or later she would get in trouble.

after the judge concluded the trial and the decision that eren would be now apart of their team, the entire squad were lead into a conference room to discuss important matters, like controlling eren's titan abilities and a formation plan for their next move to regain the shiganshina district.

"please just tell me noone else here is a titan, save me from the embarrassment"

"uh... i hope i am the only one captain y/l/n" eren said as hange offered him a cloth to clean his face from the open wounds levi's boots had caused.

"well eren jeager can we trust you to save humanity?"

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"do you think this is going to end well?" levi turned around to meet her eyes but she was staring far off into the night sky "i know eren has shown us that we can trust him, but it's different. we've never seen anything like this before. i feel like something bad is going to happen soon and i don't know, i'm scared" huffing she took another sip of her tea that had now gone cold "this is only the beggining. the titans that infiltrated wall maria are still out there and we don't know if we'll be able to take them. maybe there's no coming out of this one"

"stop saying stupid shit like this" he snapped, making her side eye him "i mean, i feel like this too, don't be so pessimistic about it"

"i cant believe this sentence just came out of you? am i talking to the same levi?"

"shut up. i trust you enough not to die, so don't. tomorrow after we catch the female titan you'll come back to me. i don't even want the smallest of bruise on you" levi was so vulnerable during moments like these and she treasured the fact that she was the only person in this world to see him at this state.

"if you want me alive that much then i have no choice, do i?"

"i want you"

huh?

"i want you alive" there was a slight tint of red contrasting the paleness of his skin and yet she missed it due to the darkness that surrounded them.

oh.

"then I'll come back to you and you'll come back to me"

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

the forest had never looked as scary and gloomy as it did when the threat of the female titan had subsided and all that was left was to wander around looking for any surviving members of the scouts participating in the mission.

petra, oluo, ganther. everyone had died during the mission and yet she was still there, leaving the survivor's guilt and shame to wash over her. levi was right. no matter how much trust you can put into another person other than yourself, they can be gone in any minute.

"shit" she hissed slowly sitting down on the tree next to petra, who was like a found younger sister to her. her face was stoic, only a few beads of sweat atop of her hairline.

and then she let out the loudest and unsettling scream of frustration she could.

levi was the first to find her, sobbing next to petra's lifeless body. he had never seen her at this state before. even when she tried jumping off the roof she had been so calm and collected, yet now he was seeing a whole another side of her that he wished he never would again. he'd actually rather have his legs eaten by a titan, that would hurt way less. he approached her slowly, making sure he was giving her enough space to back away if she felt uncomfortable.

and then his lips met her hairline as her hands desperately grasped the clothing on his back, trying to keep herself grounded. his hands were instantly being wrapped around her waist, gripping her tightly so she could not slip and kept his lips on her scalp. no words were needed to be spoken and as he felt her loosen up he laid one final kiss on her forehead and cupped her cheeks softly making her look into his eyes.

"i failed"

"it's not your fault, calm down, i've got you, noone can hurt you"

"they're all dead" he nodded, still caressing her soft skin "it should have been me" something about her talking like that ticked him off, it scared him how she would never think about how valuable her life was then in just a second, his whole demeanor against her changed and he pushed her away, not hard enough to hurt her, yet hard enough to make her lose her footing.

"i told you to cut the shit" his tone had also changed to his ice cold , the one he would use when speaking to everyone that wasnt her "what the fuck was that for? you think that you dying would be any better? i would rather everyone in this fucking world die right now if it meant that you'd still be here and i don't care what you have to say" levi was selfish. he was so selfish when it came to her "stop acting like a pathetic bitch"

"our whole squad just fucking died, and you keep talking about me being alive and im the pathetic one here? just shut up" they were both angry and neither could recall any other time in which they have spoken such harsh words to each other "you should've let me jump off that fucking roo-" he was pushing her again, this time against the tree with his hands around her neck "what the fuck are you doing?"

"shut the fuck up" using her whatever strength she had left she kicked him away taking, a moment to catch her breath and before she knew she was pinned back against the tree "im not a monster, i cared about them just as much as you did" he spat "i dont care about them as much as i care about you and i fucking hate it so if you plan on putting others above your own life then dont bother fucking talking to me again"

"um- excuse me, captain levi? captain y/l/n?" what now? "we-they told us to come pick up the bodies" the terrified soldier saluted at the captains that were literally about to rip each other to shreds just seconds ago. levi took a step back and turned around to head back to where the rest of the survivors had gathered.

"go ahead" her glare shot knives into his back "you coming, y/l/n?" he asked stopping to look back at her. just what had gotten into him? why was he so harsh all of a sudden? she nodded and picked up her pace to reach him.

and as they walked between the high trees, neither realized how or when their fingers ended up linked to each other's once again..

part 3 coming soon...

[because-of-a-friend]

Seventeen Reaction: You Suddenly Being Shy

MASTERLIST

Thanks for the request anon! Hope you like it!!!!

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

He thinks is the cutest thing in the world and he also cannot believe he has that kind of sway over you. He's like????? They're shy around me?????? He'll do a lot of cute little things to try and get you to relax around him and be more comfortable being yourself around him. When you're not super close, he'll do random things to make himself look ridiculous so if he's intimidating to you at all, he seems less so. Then as you grow more comfortable with each other, anytime he notices you becoming quiet he'll do something like plucking your chin or some other cute gesture that he knows you'll have some sort of witty comeback for. He appreciates and adores both sides of you, but always wants to make sure you feel comfortable around him.

YOON JEONGHAN

Jeonghan will likely match your energy depending on how you're feeling. But he does have a habit of challenging your more sarcastic side because he tends to talk quite bluntly, so he thinks those conversations are more fun. He honestly has a lot of fun figuring out how to push your buttons until you two are ceaselessly teasing each other. He'll leave you be if it really seems like you're not up to it and respects when you're more quiet. He can always easily go with the flow depending on your mood.

JOSHUA HONG

Josh tends to also get shy around new people or one on one with people he doesn't know that well or in other moments he's not prepared for. So if you suddenly get shy, it'll probably trigger his shyness as well. He'll suddenly be unsure of what to say or where to look or how to act. Moments between you and Joshua tend to be very sweet and lighthearted since both of you are very careful towards each other. Any sort of friendship/relationship with each other with each other will progress slowly because it takes you two awhile to fully open up to each other. But it means that you two also eventually feel very comfortable around each other since you spent so much time building up trust.

WEN JUNHUI

He probably hates this lol. Not because of you but because he just can't stand awkward silence and puts all the pressure on himself to fix it. He also doesn't really get it????? Like you were fine around him when you were hanging out with other members or friends????? He watched you roast Wonwoo with no hesitation earlier???? But now that it's just you and him you're so shy?????? Get ready for chaotic Jun because he's going to be pulling all of the punches to get you to laugh again. Honestly when there's an awkward silence he can't really help but keep talking to fill it in, so you might learn a lot more about Jun in five minutes than you thought you would in years lol.

KWON SOONYOUNG

(Sorry for using such a big gif but he really is the prettiest man on earth omfg)

Might also be a little awkward when you suddenly get shy. He worries that he said something to offend you or that maybe you don't like him. So he tends to approach you carefully when he notices that you're shy around him to make sure that you two are on good terms. He'll actually make an effort to talk more quietly around you and try to sit really still and not make any sudden big movements so he doesn't catch you off guard or upset you. He tries to be as polite as possible and will make a real effort to start enjoyable conversations. Probably asks other people stuff like what movies you like or what songs you listen to so he has something to talk to you about when he sees you.

JEON WONWOO

Pls this is his worst nightmare. He's not confident in handling social situations so when you suddenly get quiet around him, he has no idea what to do. He'll awkwardly blurt out some random questions and cringe inwardly every time it doesn't lead to an actual conversation. He'll wonder what's up since you seemed so confident around other people. Like Soonyoung, he'll worry over you not liking him for some reason. He'll probably actually end up pulling back and letting you approach him in the future so any contact between you two can be on your terms so he knows you're comfortable.

LEE JIHOON

May not fully notice. Jihoon tends to be off in his own world anyways so your mood change around him may fly right over his head. He's not always conscious of people's behaviors and changes in them because of his tendency to zone out. Honestly it's sort of a relief. If you're feeling a little more nervous as you spend one on one time with him, it's almost nice that he seems to continue on with business as usual. It's nice that he won't really point it out or make a big deal of it. He's usually pretty gentle during conversation anyways so it's not like there's anything he's doing to be intimidating. If he notices you being shy, he might get a little shy as well, but he'll do anything he can to make you comfortable and get on your good side.

LEE SEOKMIN

Seokmin is such a people pleaser so you suddenly going quiet is going to be a problem for him. He needs you to like him so much. He's going to figure out what makes you feel the most comfortable around him. Do you want him to take the lead in conversations? Would you prefer he back off a little? Do you like it when he's joking? More serious? He'll test the waters and feel out what brings back your more confident side so he can tell what makes you more comfortable around him. He'll navigate every conversation with care so you'll enjoy talking with him.

KIM MINGYU

Also the type to kind of slip up when this happens. He doesn't know how to continue when you suddenly get shy around him. It highkey gives him butterflies, he thinks it's so cute. So then he's shy around you, leading to him doing awkward things, all while he's trying to help you feel less shy around him. He's a giggling/blushing mess around you 24/7, which definitely helps him seem less intimidating. But he very much genuinely wants you to feel comfortable around him so he'll always be as kind and friendly as possible.

[A/N: So Tumblr has suddenly decided I can only add ten imagines to each post even tho up until now, I was able to add gifs for all thirteen members. Soooo I was wondering if you guys preferred for me to either separate maknae line and hyung line for reactions, or if you want me to leave gifs out and have all members in one post for reactions, or if y'all want to do it by request??? Until I get a good read on what y'all want I'm just gonna cut the gifs are where I have to lol. Please let me know what y'all want me to do!!!!]

XU MYUNGHO

Myungho takes this in a silent stride. When he notices you suddenly get shy around him, he'll just sort of quietly take note of it. He'll try to encourage your usual sarcastic side to make sure you know he's comfortable with it. If it doesn't seem like it's working, he'll back off and try to take things slow and gentle with you until you feel more comfortable around him one on one. He'd never admit it but he is ecstatic when your sarcastic side starts to show. Any biting remark you have for him is met with a smirk and an equally biting remark. He's fine when you're more shy but he'll feel uneasy himself until you're comfortable around him.

BOO SEUNGKWAN

Seungkwan will have an "oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no" moment when he realizes you're suddenly shy around him. He also wants everyone to like him and be happy around him. He will also wonder if he did something to offend you and be incredibly nervous and unhappy until you're comfortable around him again. He's constantly hesitant when approaching you and then as conversation progresses, he'll pull out the big guns with his humor to get you laughing and hopefully back to your normal self.

VERNON CHWE

This may also go over his head. Vernon isn't always super in tune with the people around him just depending on what's going in his head. He also usually lets the people around him lead conversations anyways, so he'll just follow your vibes conversation to conversation. When you're shy he'll just speak to you casually and keep it light. When your more sarcastic side shows, he'll vamp it up and match your energy (although with him, he'll use sarcasm as a way to casually flirt for sure lol). But overall it's hardly even noticeable to him.

LEE CHAN

Dino probably also gets shy when you get shy. He may not notice your change at first but as soon as he does he just goes "oooooooooh" and then backs way off. He's the type to awkwardly laugh every other sentence when speaking to you, desperate to make sure the conversation feels light and happy. He's not really the best at navigating meeting new people and learning how to connect with them specifically. He's happy to try anything and everything to help you feel more at ease around him, though.

[moominnyu]

relationship headcanons [kevin moon]

🎀🧸 — pairings: kevin moon (the boyz) x gender neutral reader.

🎀🧸 — tw: nsfw (minors dni). a teaspoon of angst.

# general ;;

☆ the beginning of the relationship was pretty uh slow

☆ i think kevin is somewhat of an extrovert and he looks like he gets along well with most people, he's definitely not the shy type

☆ on the subject of romantic endeavors, though... it's another thing entirely.

☆ he's dead scared of rejection, especially because all his life he's been the comedic relief, ‘bff’ type of friend and every single person he liked only saw him as that and nothing more. and he was terrified that that would be the case with you too.

☆ he refused to take the first step, telling himself that he needed to ‘wake up and accept reality’

☆ cue to a very, very frustrated eric.

☆ “dude, i'm telling you! it's not all in your head! they like you too!”

☆ “thank you for trying to make me feel better, eric, i appreciate it” kevin'd say and eric would try his hardest to not whack him in the head <3 true friendship right there

☆ and eric swore that he'd take matters into his own hands, that he couldn't stand to see his two best friends suffer over each other

☆ he'd send you and kevin to go get coffee or take out together, call you to hang out with him at the dorms when kevin and him are alone, and then remembering he had plans with someone else just as you got there, kick juyeon out when he tried to join movie nights that he specifically planned for the two of you, kick changmin and sunwoo out of their rooms when you're visiting and many other not so subtle ways to get you two alone

☆ by the time he devised a ‘fool proof, impossible to fail’ plan which involved hyunjae hitting on you to get kevin to cause a jealous scene, you were already impatient and frustrated enough to brazen it out and confess your feelings to kevin, much to eric's dismay

☆ “couldn't you guys wait a bit more so we could put our carefully thought plan into action? hyunjae hyung already memorized his lines and everything” -eric

☆ anyways back to kevin

☆ he's a sweetheart but that's nothing new

☆ i definitely see you two as the pam and jim from your friend group

☆ not only because of all the time it took you to get together, but also because you're somewhat of a ‘best friend’ duo even if you're clearly head over heels for each other

☆ you're like best friends who go on dates, kiss and do the *ahem* together. besties in love<3 omg

☆ i said that here but one of kevin's love languages is gift giving

☆ he's very thoughtful and has you in mind 24/7 so he's often bringing you gifts from wherever he's travelling/touring

☆ he has a knack for handmade jewelry. his specialty are beaded bracelets and eric would disagree but his fashion sense is great and he always makes you bracelets that go well with your outfits.

☆ loves, loves, loves facetiming you. he doesn't have to be halfway across the world to do it, even if he's in his dorm and you're at home, he's calling you right as he's about to go to bed and then first thing in the morning so that you can be the last and first thing of his every day even if you aren't together. screenshots randomly just so he can get a meme worthy pic of you.

☆ a fan of chill dates in any of y'alls rooms where you guys just lay in bed and watch movies/tiktoks together while eating snacks. he loves laying on top of you while you scroll through your phones and send each other tiktoks even if your fyp looks like this 👥

☆ prefers cooking for you himself than ordering take out (it's healthier and cheaper) and he even lets you sit on the counter while he works, lets you taste the sauces and munch on nuts (if u ain't allergic to them💀) while you wait for food to be done.

☆ he's always down to do whatever stupid thing you want to do, whether that is silly tiktoks like the we're linda and heather! one or another one of the millions of coach guy parodies or dramatical readings of my immortal at three am in your room (he always plays draco and you always play ebony dark'ness dementia raven way) and laughing your asses out each and every single time.

☆ has a sketchbook that he carries around specifically for sketching/painting things for you. and it's not the first one, you have multiple finished sketchbooks and scrapbooks that he made you over the years in your bookshelves.

☆ makes you playlists! he's very musically driven, and i think he's very, for a lack of a better word, sensitive to music and lyrics so i think that he often associates his favorite songs to his favorite people you much like how people associate others with colors, sensations and stuff. (some songs i think he'd dedicate to you: i hear a symphony by cody fry, kataomoi by aimer, anyone else but you by the moldy peaches, la vie en rose by edith piaf, he's my baby by noire)

☆ your parents/siblings/friends love him! as i said before, he's super easy to get along with and he's definitely the sweetheart kind of boyfriend who everyone in your family just adores because he's so attentive and kind. he gets a bit shy and kind of lingers around you whenever you visit your family, especially during the first couple of visits, but he eventually gets out of his shell a bit and dares to hang out with others on his own.

☆ calls you bro™ but like romantically

☆ your personal, a la carte podcast. you adore his voice so he's always reading for you, whether it's books, horror stories, true crime, conspiracy theories or whatever you're in the mood for.

☆ eating cereal on the floor at three a.m. in the morning when you can't sleep and you're hungry. that, or cooking a whole meal just because you saw it on tiktok.

☆ a pop culture connoisseur. you guys quote vines and tiktoks on the daily. he knows that “are you my cousin?” beyoncé video by heart and can act it perfectly.

☆ also “kevin! kevin! watch the light, dude!” -you, smacking kevin's face with a pillow.

☆ can fall asleep instantly if you play with his hair. you love doing it and definitely had the time of your life braiding and combing it that short period of time in which his stylists let him grow it out (and you were heartbroken when they cut it, but he still looks cute so)

☆ takes the best candid pictures of you when you look like an absolute mess but absolutely sucks at them when you ask him to take them for you ?? make it make sense mr.

☆ yelps like a cat if you slap his booty when he's not paying attention but sticks it out like a thot after the initial shock is gone lmao

☆ also idk i feel like i should put this out there: his kisses are very soft and gentle. he's so cute, it's like he prepares himself for it by licking his lips before he grabs the sides of your face to get your attention on him only, his lips always linger on top of yours for a couple of seconds before he's pulling away with a flustered blush and that :3 smile of his

# angst ;;

☆ oof um okay

☆ somewhat insecure. not only when it comes to other guys but more so to himself, as if he sometimes doubts that he's deserving of you, as cliche as that sounds

☆ fights aren't as common since he's big on communication but even so he has a hard time actually communicating how he feels, especially if those feelings are negative ones

☆ he's experienced people taking his words out of context before so he's scared that he'd either you misinterpret what he really means or simply saying something that could upset you. he can spend months fixated on a certain thing that upsets him without telling you about it until the cup, eventually, oveflows.

☆ he can get pretty distant when that happens, and he's stubborn enough to claim and assure you that nothing's wrong even if you keep begging and begging for him to tell you just what the heck is worrying his pretty mind.

☆ he isn't much of the jealous type but he can definitely get a bit insecure when you're around men he doesn't trust. as much as he was terrified of you rejecting him, he's terrified that you'd find someone better and leave him for them. he thinks of you as his whole world, his peak, and it's probably his insecurity speaking but he feels like you can do so much better but he won't ever find someone as good, as special as you.

☆ but it's nothing that communication can't work out. he taught you the importance of it, how speaking your mind and feelings can feel liberating, and you have all the patience and love in the world to teach it back to himself when he forgets, when he gets too much in his head that he completely forgets that you're there— head over heels for him and willing to accept him, insecurities, flaws and all, just like he does with you.

# nsfw ;;

☆ awooga woof woof bark

☆ nah tbh i think he's pretty vanilla on the woohoo department

☆ before he met you, the craziest, most scandalous thing he did was cum inside his previous partner and not wearing protection

☆ so if u a freak like me, he probably discovered most of his kinks/fetishes with you

☆ pretty open minded to try whatever you want at least once before he decides whether he likes it or not

☆ into voyeurism, likes it when you watch him touch himself and he can cum pretty fast if you guide him through it, even if you aren't touching him.

☆ he's super sensitive. he cums in his pants right there and then if you kiss his neck and palm him just right. always apologizes like crazy when you two are making out on the couch and you suddenly feel a hot, wet spot right on your crotch after a particularly hard jerk of his hips. and he's too shy to make eye contact with you afterwards, begs you to get off his lap so that he can go wash himself even though you're clearly enjoying this. (although he kind of finds it hot that you laugh at him because he can't last even with minimal friction) (or is that just me being a men degrader™)

☆ a whimperer. he isn't as vocal as others (cough younghoon cough) but he's still a bit embarrassed of his noises so he tries to keep them down, which, in turn, makes him whimper and whine the more conscious he gets about them. bites his lip or tries to kiss you when he feels he can't suppress them anymore, and ends up moaning in your mouth instead.

☆ since he cums pretty fast, he often overstimulates himself for you. he doesn't stop until he's completely sure you had your fair share as well. whether it's you inside him or him inside you (whatever you're into), he takes whatever you give him and gives as much as he has for you. he's become almost infatuated with that sting and the dull pain of overstimulation that he kind of looks forward to it each time he first cums. by the time he's reached his limit, he's panting, legs trembling, voice worn out, but still claiming he “can give you anofher.”

☆ he likes it when you order him around. nothing super heavy like “shut up bitch” or “eat me out whore” or whatever lmao but rather softer, kind of lowkey orders like “come here, baby” when you're switching positions or “keep still for me” when you're about to go down on him. it really gets his engine going.

☆ he loves having his hair pulled. actually moans when you grab it to bring him for a kiss or when he's going down on you.

☆ a pleaser. loves to go down on you or have you sit on his face, especially because he thrives off praise. your compliments, words of encouragement, pet names, literally anything that you say to signal he's doing a good job and pleasing you has his cock twitching and him whimpering.

☆ he's got in trouble with his stylists for this before but he loves when you mark him up. it's just so tempting for both of you, really, when you're kissing down his body, soft skin on display and willing to be painted by your sinful mouth, that you can't help to suck on it for longer than you should, and kevin can't help the small “please” and “more” that leave his lips. always shivers and whimpers when you ghost your hands over his thin, bruised waist and call him your pretty boy.

☆ back to him being vanilla lmao his favorite position is when you ride him. likes to be your anchor, feel you grab on his shoulders for leverage as you bounce on his cock while his hands hold tight on your waist, but also likes the whole intimacy of it, the eye contact, the proximity. it's easier to kiss your lips when you're on top, too.

☆ when it's him getting it, though, any position where he's bent over will do. one of your hand on his waist and the other on his hair to keep his face pressed to the pillow has him writhing and squirming around, his release rolling around with even the most gentle of your thrusts.

🐇🎀 — luna's notes: hii it's me, i'm alive <3 i was going to initially reject this request since i've been on a mental drought for quite some time now but i think getting to sit down and declutter my mind by brainstorming freely helped me out of it, so thank u my precious 🦊 anon <3 i feel confident that i can finish the things i have in my drafts now

also, if u don't know who ebony dark'ness dementia raven way is what are u doing with ur life. i doubt there's a soul in this site who doesn't know who this character is, but just in case: watch this video.

[holdingforgeneralhugs]

Headcanon request: Joe gets you out of some kinda jam, likes your spit fire and then asks you on a date

Snow Angel

A/N: Thank you so much lovely anon for the request 💓 I'm guessing you meant Joe Toye for this, and since I haven't actually done anything for him so hope you enjoy 💓 also I really wanna do this as a oneshot so I hope that's OK 💕

You ran as fast as your aching legs would carry you, desperately clutching your M1. Your boots crunched through the snow flurries as you ran. You tried not to look behind you in case you tripped or it slowed you down. You didn't need to look back anyway because you could hear the heavy breathing of the soldier following you.

He fired a shot at you and you winced as it whizzed right by your cheek. You decided to try and run in a Zig-Zag through the trees so wouldn't be able to get a clean shot at you. You were so busy concentrating that you didn't spot the protruding tree root on the ground.

With a cry you ended up face first in the snow. You closed your eyes and waited for death to come, because there was no feasible way you were going to survive. That damn Kraut would take you out and eventually one of the boys would stumble across your stiff, frozen body abandoned in the snow.

A shot rang out in the woods and you tensed, wondering what it would feel like when the burning hot bullet would pierce your flesh. Yet all you could feel was the burning cold seeping into your bones from the snow under you. You felt hands pressing into your arm and pulling you up. Clearly the Kraut had decided you'd be more valuable as a prisoner than a corpse. But you wouldn't let them take you alive. You pulled back your fist and swung it around, hoping to catch him right in the nose, but he managed to grab you wrist and hold it away from his face.

"Woah woah woah," exclaimed a familiar husky voice, "you really gonna punch the guy who saved your ass from a Kraut?"

You opened your eyes and glanced around incredulously. There was the kraut who'd been chasing you, bleeding out in the snow. You looked up at Joe then and laughed.

"Shit Joe where the hell did you come from? Didn't even hear you coming."

"Gotta be stealthy with those Krauts hanging around, which clearly you forgot about since you were being chased by one," he scolded, raising an eyebrow at you.

You stepped back from him and scoffed, rolling your eyes up to heaven. "I don't know what you're talking about Toye," you huffed as you both made your way through the trees and back to Easy, "I didn't forget anything and I was perfectly fine thank you very much.

Joe laughed humourlessly and looked at you in disbelief. "You can't be serious," he said, "if I hadn't shown up that Kraut would have had you."

"Oh don't be so dramatic, I had it all under control," you snapped defensively. You knew damn well he was right, you just didn't want to admit out loud that you'd been stupid enough to almost get yourself killed.

"Sure you did," he replied, "that's why you were facedown in the snow."

"Look," you snapped, "let's get one thing straight here Joe. I'm not the kind of person who needs to be rescued. I appreciate that you killed the fucker but I don't appreciate you gloating about it or implying that I'm incapable of taking care of myself."

Joe's eyes widened and he silently blinked at you for a few moments. You stood your ground and crossed your arms, raising your chin defiantly and daring him to argue with you.

"I know damn well you can take care of yourself," he started, "but you shouldn't have been out here by yourself and whether you want to admit it or not, you're lucky I showed up when I did."

You stared intently at him for a moment before sighing and looking away. He was completely right of course, not that you'd give him the satisfaction of telling him that. You reached into your pocket and pulled out your pack of cigarettes, holding it out to him and offering him one.

He smirked and shook his head in amusement, but he reached out and pulled a cigarette out of the box and lit it with his lighter. You walked through the trees together and smoked your cigarettes in comfortable silence. Then all of a sudden Joe chuckles and glances sideways at you.

"What?" You ask, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You've got a hell of a lotta fire in you, y'know that?" He chuckled, bumping his arm against yours good naturedly. You rolled your eyes and bumped him back.

"Bet your ass I do," you smirked, "so you better not get on my bad side."

"Oh I'm quakin' in my boots," he mocks, making you roll your eyes. You can see the rest of Easy milling around a few hundred yards away, so you stop in your tracks and put a hand on Joe's arm to stop him too.

"Look, I was just fine by myself but...for what it's worth...I'm glad you showed up when you did," you sighed, smiling at him gratefully.

"Don't mention it," he said, "and don't worry, I won't tell anyone you had a moment either."

You shoved him roughly as he laughed, but you couldn't help the laugh escaping from your own lips. You contined on together, eager to get back to your foxhole and get some rest. It doesn't take long for Toye to reach his foxhole, unoccupied by his foxhole buddy at that moment. You waved goodbye to him and were about to head to your own foxhole when he stops you with a hand on your shoulder.

"Say," he said, and if you didn't know any better you'd have thought he was hesitant, "whad'ya say once we get out of this frozen hell hole you and I get a drink sometime?"

"Like...a date?" You asked, blinking at him in disbelief. He blinked back at you for a moment, debating whether or not he should follow through.

"Yeah," he said finally, "like a date."

"Sure," you grinned, "I'd like that a lot Joe."

He grinned like an idiot, nearly falling into his foxhole. You laughed and shook your head at him before ambling away to your own foxhole. A date sounded like a nice idea to get you through that frozen hell.

Taglist:  @tvserie-s-world @geniedocroe @generousdreamlanddestiny @sunsetmando @cagzzz107 @howunexpectedlyso @alejodi0nysus @sunflowerchuck @now-im-a-belieber @mrspowers @50svibes @eugene-emt-roe @pennyllane

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Going Back Home

Summary: Claire never thought she would be back in the town she grew up in. But after her fiancé broke off their engagement, leaving her 5 months pregnant and alone she found herself calling Frankie Morales in the middle of the night, one of her childhood friends who insisted that she booked the next flight out. Trying to fix her life with a little help from her friends she would find out soon that going back would be the best decision she ever made.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Claire Beck

wordcount: 3.1k

Warnings: more or less unplanned pregnancy, break up, mentions of sexual encounters

A/N: I am a weak weak person so here it is, a chaptered fic. I will try to update this weekly, but no promises. Rating will go up later. I'm attempting slow burn. Let's see how slow lol Let me know what you think. Reblogs are, as always, appreciated 💙

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Taglist in reblog

Even Though most of her happiest memories were connected with this town, the town she spent most of her life in, Claire never thought she actually would be back here. And certainly not pregnant and all by herself.

It wasn’t that she had been unhappy here. Claire just always wanted something… bigger. Something more. Something exciting. After her parents died and most of her friends moved away, there was nothing holding her back. Well, that wasn’t true. Frankie and Santiago were there. But only when they weren’t overseas or god knows where, which left her with her dream of being a journalist in a small town where she had no chance to ever make it.

She still remembered Santi’s face when she announced that it was her turn to leave just before they were about to be gone for months again. She had gotten a job in New York and thought for days about what to do until she took the job. That was eight years ago and they hadn’t seen each other in person since then.

Yet when she called Frankie three days ago in tears, it was like no time had passed. She wanted to call Santiago first, but she knew him. If she had told him what happened to her he would have gotten into his car and gotten to her, no matter if it took 3 straight days. No, she had called Frankie. He had listened to her for hours until he made her promise to book the next flight out.

When the fuck did her life become such a shit show?

Only a week ago, she had the dream job, was engaged and 5 months pregnant.

Claire was happy. Until her fiance came back from a work trip and suddenly announced that he wanted nothing to do with the child and moved out within days, leaving her on her own. Not even his phone number was working and she wasn’t gonna show up at his work. She wasn’t that desperate. She should have seen it coming. John never planned to have kids. But when Clarie found out that she was pregnant he had already asked her to marry him and maybe he was too proud to end the engagement back then. Thinking back maybe this was the reason he stayed. Because a part of him wanted to spend his life with her. They didn’t fight. He just moved out, told her that he would take care financially of her and the child, but that he didn’t want to be a father.

The first days she was just numb. Trying to wrap her mind around the fact that the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with, left her while she was pregnant with a child they didn’t plan but that she loved without a doubt. That was what kept her going. Her little bean. Claire would do anything to protect her little girl.

The guys to this day called her bean. She found herself thinking more of them since John left. Even without seeing them in the last years, they still stayed in contact. Not a week went by where she didn’t receive a letter. They had a group chat that was only used when they were at home and the bachelor was on. Cause fuck did they all hate that show but they watched it anyways.

Claire was okay with the whole suddenly being on her own thing, until she felt her baby move for the first time and turned in her bed to wake her fiance, finding the side empty and cold. For one tiny moment, she had forgotten that she was alone in a city where she had only a couple of friends who were his friends rather than hers. She had always had a hard time finding friends. That probably wouldn’t change.

Sucking her bottom lip in, she rested one hand on her belly as she waited for her luggage to arrive. She slept almost through the entire flight. Claire had gotten rid of the last eight years of her life in the last 48 hours. She wanted to start fresh. She needed a fresh start. Even if she had no idea how to deal with all of this on her own.

A woman next to her helped her get her suitcases on the cart, noticing that Claire was on her own. Pushing the cart through security she saw Frankie as soon as the door opened and next to him Ben, Will and Santiago who all smiled at her, while she felt the first tears escaping her eyes.

She had met Ben and Will only a couple times, they were living an hour away, but they became part of the group immediately. Once upon a time her childhood best friend, Leah, was in that group too. Claire hadn’t thought of Leah in a long time. She had died in a car accident almost 12 years ago.

Arms pulled her in a warm embrace and even after years of not seeing each other for such a long time, she still noticed Frankie’s scent.

“We got you,” he whispered, kissing her hair. She sobbed once before she was pulled into Santi’s arms.

“Look at you,” he smiled before he looked down at her belly.

“And look at you?” he smiled and leaned down.

“Hello, this is your favorite Uncle speaking,” he winked, bending down to speak directly to her belly, making her chuckle.

“Oh please, we all know I’m gonna be the favorite, hey bean,” Will hugged her.

“Don’t listen to them baby girl, we know they're all gonna spoil you rotten,” she grinned, letting Ben kiss her cheek.

“So you’re staying?” Frankie asked and you nodded.

“I already called some realtors. I wanna get this over as quickly as possible. Already sold everything back in New York,” Claire said, looking at the two men who formed most of her teenage years.

“Okay. Let’s get you out of this airport first. You okay to stay with Frankie? He has the biggest house,” Santiago asked, pushing the cart as you slowly walked towards the exit with Ben’s arm around her shoulder.

“Uh… I don’t wanna impose. I could just take a room…”

“Fuck no. Stay at my place. It’s my Pa’s old ranch. I’m renovating it.”

“What? No way!” she said surprised but Frankie only nodded.

“Yeah after Liz and South America I needed something to keep me busy. Also needed more space for Elena,” he explained. A small smile sneaked to Claire’s face.

“I still can’t believe you’re a dad Frankie.”

“Can’t believe you gonna be a mom. Fuck we’re really adults now, huh?” he winked and Claire sighed.

“Certainly didn’t plan it that way. Or planned it at all,” she said sadly before she shook her head as if to get rid of the sad thoughts clouding her mind.

“I meant it, Claire. We got you. We are bored most times anyways.”

“Hey speak for yourself, Fish. I got a business,” Santi said.

“Yeah. Yeah. Me too. But after work you’re either drunk or after some pussy so?” Ben grinned, making her chuckle.

“So still no ladies in your life, boys?” Claire asked as they reached what definitely was Frankie’s truck. It had his company name on it. “Morales gardening”

“Nope. But now that you’re here we could finally….” Will started only for Claire to look away in disgust, making them all laugh.

“You ready to become a Daddy, Will?” she asked, her hands both on her belly.

“Uhm… of course?” he answered and she chuckled.

“That’s what I thought,” she patted his cheek.

“Come on. Let’s get you to bed. You must be exhausted,” Frankie said and opened the door for her.

“We’ll see you tomorrow for the BBQ,” they all waved. She waved back, letting Frankie help her inside before he closed the door behind her and hopped into the driver’s seat.

“BBQ?” she asked.

“Can’t blame the folks from wanting to welcome you, bean,” he winked.

“What folks?”

“Ya know. Folks. You gonna see,” he looked at Claire. He felt better now that she was here. Frankie had missed her these last years, the couple of calls throughout hadn’t nearly been enough. And when she called two days ago in tears… He would have gotten the chopper and flown over but he couldn’t risk it. He had to be on good behaviour to be able to keep seeing his daughter.

“I missed you, Francisco,” she whispered.

“Missed you too, Bean.”

The sun was already setting when Frankie drove down a familiar path. Claire had spent countless days on this ranch when she was younger.

“How is your Dad doing?” she asked softly and Frankie sighed as he killed the engine in front of the house.

“I fucking hate that I can’t take care of him on my own, but he’s hanging in there.”

“I’d like to visit him if you’re okay with that,” she reached over squeezing his hand and he looked at her with a small smile.

“I bet he would love that.”

“And I’m sure he would have wanted it this way, Francisco. You know your dad. He wouldn’t have wanted you to drop everything for him. Don’t be too hard on yourself,” she said quietly.

“Damn I really missed you Bean,” he shook his head.

“Missed you too,” she let her head fall against his shoulder.

Claire didn’t really have eyes for the house, all she wanted was to go to sleep.

“I finished the guest room this morning for you,” Frankie said, setting one of her suitcases down as he opened the door.

“Please tell me you didn’t work overnight to finish this,” she sighed looking at him. He was rubbing the back of his head, pulling the cap he was always wearing down and avoiding her eyes.

Knowingly she shook her head, but couldn’t help the smile sneaking to her face.

“I won’t say it. But please don’t touch the walls, they might still be wet,” he said and she chuckled.

“Okay. Bathroom is over there. The shower isn’t working yet but you’re welcome to use mine. Will is coming over to take a look and make this one work. Other than that if you need anything just ask. Until you found a place this is your home.”

“You really didn’t have to do this, Frankie,” she said quietly, feeling overwhelmed by all of this. So many things had changed in such a short amount of time for her and she only now seemed to realize that she was indeed about to be a single mom.

“I wanted to. You’re… You don’t deserve to be treated like this. So let us help you, okay?” he said softly and she nodded but avoided his eyes.

“Okay. Go to sleep. My room is down the hallway if you need anything,” he stepped closer, kissing her forehead and for one tiny moment, she felt like the 15 year old teenager again who was crushing on Frankie Morales.

“Good night, Francisco,” she smiled.

“Good night, bean,” he whispered before he turned around and closed the door behind him.

Claire looked around, in awe of the room, the bed looking so inviting to her. Sighing she walked over to the window, knowing she would be able to see the whole property during the day. Crossing her arms in front of her she closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of nature that she had no idea she had missed living in the city for all these years. She felt a fluttering in her belly, her hand wandering down to feel a kick.

“We’ll be happy here, I promise,” she vowed, rubbing over her belly.

She didn’t want to disturb Frankie, even though she could hear the TV running so she just washed herself at the sink before she put her Pajamas on and sat down on the bed. She would unpack tomorrow. For now she had to sleep.

The sun wasn’t even up when Claire woke up. She turned in bed, propping herself up so she could look out the window and watch the sunrise. She had to make a plan. A plan that included finding a house, a doctor and help. Though help would be her smallest problem. She already looked at houses in the area and it didn’t look good. If she had more time she would buy the house just down this road, but there was no way the house would be ready before her due date. She would ask Santi for help. He had a lot of connections through his business. Though Frankie too. Claire knew that he had a little gardening company since he lost his pilot’s license. He never really talked about it, but then again, they didn’t talk that much. She knew that he had some problems with drugs in the past, but that he has been clean for almost two years and was doing better. She also knew that there was a lot more to this story then he had told her. Maybe they would have time to talk. To really talk. Groaning to herself, her quiet and peaceful morning was interrupted by her bladder. Time to start the day.

For a minute she wondered if she could risk sneaking into Frankie’s room to take a shower when she heard music playing. Grabbing her bathrobe and toiletries she opened the door and walked down. Now being really awake she had time to take in the house. It seemed like there still was a lot to do. The walls were still unpainted, the floors still old, though she could see he already started with the floor the closer she got to the kitchen.

Frankie was sitting at the kitchen island, a cup of coffee in front of him as the radio quietly played in the background. He had a serious case of bed hair and she smiled to herself. He hadn’t noticed her yet and she found herself thinking back to all the times she had thought that maybe there was something more in between them than friendship. And maybe there was at one point a long time ago. But that was before he joined the military. She might be selfish for it, but she couldn’t be in a relationship where her partner was gone all the time. She needed someone to be there. Even Though there had been times in the past she had found herself asking if maybe she should have risked it.

Instead she had slept with Santiago.

Yeah, that was a big fuck up. Well it was also a pretty good fuck but it was just once and they definitely were better off as friends. She still didn’t know if Frankie knew. Not that she had to explain herself. Frankie always knew what effect he had on the women around him, and he sure as hell took advantage of it. And now she felt nothing more than love for him. As a friend, nothing more.

“Good Morning,” she said quietly and Frankie turned his head, yawning at her.

Chuckling she walked over taking in the kitchen, setting her toiletries down.

“You weren’t kidding when you say you were still renovating,” she sat down next to him. He got up from his seat walking over to fix her a mug of tea.

“Still hooked on Strawberry tea, I hope?” he asked and she nodded, surprised that he remembered.

“Yeah. Though the kitchen and living room are supposed to be finished by the end of next week. So sorry for the noise in the next couple days,” he walked over and set down the mug of tea in front of her.

“Hey it’s your house. I’m just thankful you let me stay.”

“Of course. Couldn’t let you stay in the dumpster motel in this town,” he winked. She took a sip of the tea and it was perfect.

“So what are you planning for today?” he asked.

“I probably should start looking into houses. I’m kind of on a timetable here,” she rested one hand on her belly and Frankie followed her movement.

“Yeah. I think Pope already called someone for some houses. It’s not looking good.”

“Yeah I thought so. Everything I found on the internet was in really bad shape,” she sighed.

“It’s gonna work out. And if you don’t find something, you’re welcome to stay. The place is big enough,” he shrugged and Claire laughed quietly.

“Yeah I bet you can’t wait to live with a hormonal pregnant woman and then with a newborn,” she joked.

“I lived with Pope. Nothing can be worse and…”

“And?” she asked.

“I already lived with a hormonal pregnant woman. It’s not that bad,” he shrugged with a small smile. She looked at him with a small smile on her face.

“You say that now. Wait till I’m craving your mug cake at 3am now that I’m living with you,” she joked. Frankie laughed.

“Wow I haven’t had one of those in at least 10 years.”

“Well then it’s about time.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, looking at Claire. She looked more relaxed today, like she had a good night’s sleep and he was thankful he put in an overnight to finish the guest room for her. She deserved to relax. When she told him that she not only was pregnant but dumped by her fiance Frankie was furious, yet at the same time he already decided that he would take care of her and help her with everything she needed. It was the least he could do.

Even though they grew apart in the last years, she still was one of his best friends.

“Okay. I’m gonna go take a shower. I got to drive out to check on a project. You gonna be okay here for a while?” Frankie asked. Claire nodded, grabbing her mug of tea.

“Just tell me when you’re going out so I can take a shower,” she said.

“Thank you, Frankie,” she whispered when she stopped next to him and softly kissed his cheek, before she walked down the hallway. Frankie looked after her with a soft smile before he got up to get ready to head out.

Next chapter

[its-nebula]

V3 Boys x Inhuman!S/O

Your creature is: Angel

He always did feel that you brought sunshine and guidance into his life.

He just didn't know that it was literally your job to do so.

Still, you were an anomaly to him. You were just so perfect, so pure. And yet, the aura you radiated was just so powerful.

Shuichi found himself having less nightmares. Instead, you almost always found a way into his dreams, not that he was complaining.

He did, however appreciate whenever you offered him advice. You always knew the right thing to do, and he knew that he could always count on you.

"I had a feeling that it wasn't the right call. Wow, S/O, you really are wise!"

As a detective, however, he has a natural curiosity and drive to explain things that are unexplainable.

How do you get things right so often?

And everytime you got a scratch or cut, no matter how large or small, it was practically fully healed by the next day?

Hmmm...

Your creature is: Demon

You seriously needed to walk on eggshells around your boyfriend if you didn't want to be found out.

Literally all he does is study rituals that could be potentially harmful to you.

You love him anyways, though, which is the main reason you can't let him in on your identitiy.

You did your absolute best to keep Korekiyo out of harm's way.

Whenever you felt the negative energy someone possesed, you had no problem telling them to stay away from your boyfriend.

He really values having peace, so he makes sure to thank you for driving away any negative people.

"Oh, S/O, my darling, how I'm always so appreciative of you keeping me in your best interests."

He always feels a little hurt when you won't join him in studying his rituals, though.

"My darling, is something wrong? I'm not making you uncomfortable, am I?"

You always have to sweat nervously and come up with an excuse.

Your creature is: Unicorn

An interesting pair for sure.

But you made it work.

Kokichi was very nosy, so hiding was a bit difficult. However, you were used to masking your true identity, so you found ways.

Your boyfriend also being a little gremlin, you had to protect him at all times.

But he's Kokichi, so he pretends he doesn't like it.

"Jeeeeeez, S/O, I don't need you following me around all the time!"

You're not immortal, but you've lived much longer than Kokichi. You've met kind people, mean people, evil people, good people, honest people, and liars. You knew he was lying.

Surprisngly to you as well, he was very prone to feelings of deep sadness and loneliness, like a dark cloud was hanging over his head.

You may or may not use your magic to drive away any negative thoughts that he may have about himself.

He's in denial that he feels better around you...because he's Kokichi and it scares him.

"Yeah, you're alright to have around. The perfect prank target!"

😑😑😑😑😑

Your creature is: Werewolf

The guy is very reclusive, so he really doesn't care when you tend to keep your distance out of fear of being found out.

"I'm too dangerous for you anyways, S/O. Maybe you should just go find someone better..."

He even suspected you of cheating when you kept going out at night, but didn't bother to say anything.

You would never even think of leaving Ryoma, and it made you a little bit sad he would even think of that. You knew it wasn't his fault, though.

One thing you did dislike about him, though, was the fact he was a cat person. Every time his cat hissed at you, you did a low growl bsck, scaring it off. Only when you're alone with her do you growl, however.

"Guess she doesn't like you, huh? I'm sorry about that."

You always smile so sweetly at him, reassuring him that it's okay.

Whenever you two go out, you make sure to let everyone know that you weren't messing around.

If they say something, you walk up to them and bear your teeth, and they take off in the other direction.

"Typical... even strangers don't want to be around me."

Somebody please get this man some therapy.

Your creature is: Shinigami

For the most part, life is pretty normal for the two of you.

Gonta doesn't really get himself into troubling situations, so you don't really have to worry about sentencing him to death.

Anyone who hurts him, however?

That's a different story.

You try not to kill too many people, though, as you know that's not what Gonta would want.

He gets really confused when one of his bugs sting you and you don't even flinch.

"S/O! Gonta sorry about bee! S/O isn't hurting?!"

You make up a reason, and he just goes along with it.

If ever a time does come when you have to sentence Gonta, you have to decide.

Will you save his life and sacrifice yours, or let him die in a peaceful way and let him rest?

What will you do?

Your creature is: Wendigo

It's pretty easy to get past Kiibo.

Although he may find it a little bit strange how you almost never seem to get very hungry, or eat...

He doesn't question it.

After all, all humans are different! He's read up on this thing they have called "metabolism". Yours is probably just really slow!

"Um, S/O are you positive that you'll be okay?"

As easy as it was, though, you didn't feel right murdering and eating innocent people behind your unknowing boyfriend. So, you went to the nearest prison, found a person who was on Death Row, and decided to just feast on them.

Hey, they were going to die anyways, and they were a criminal.

Still, you couldn't help but feel a little guilty looking into your boyfriend's oh-so innocent eyes.

"Don't worry, S/O! There's apparently someone who's been breaking into prisons and murdering inmates, but I'll do my best to protect you to the very end!!!"

He's Baby.

Your creature is: Unicorn

He gets very upset time to time, whenever he thinks about his sisters.

Obviously, you use your powers to help him search.

"I refuse to give up. With you by my side, S/O, I just know that we can find them...together."

You have ultrasound, and you use it to listen for any sounds, or get any hints at all.

When you're both riding in the boat, you use protection charms to make sure no sharks or other dastardly sea creatures disturb you.

You also use one to prevent the two of you from getting seasick.

You also use any powers you have to try and ward away Rantaro's negative thoughts or any self-doubt, but it doesn't always work.

It makes you feel bad that your powers can only do so much. All you wanted was to find his sisters.

But you wouldn't give up, not now and not ever. You had to be strong for each other. You just knew that one day you would find them, all 12 of them.

"I know it's going to be a struggle, but we can do it."

Your creature is: Wendigo

Kaito was one of the only ones who had just the utmost belief in you, and it always made you feel bad for being a literal cannibal.

He was very proud when you announced your new job at a prison.

"Helping those in need! That's so awesome, S/O!"

Heh...yeeaaaahhhhhh.

You kept the eating to an absolute minimum.

Whenever Kaito offered to train with you, you thought it was a little funny to mess with him by a little bit.

You had superhuman strength and speed, so you always beat him in foot races and bench pressing.

"Huh?! No fair, I thought I would beat you this time!"

He's not a sore loser, however. He uses it as motivation.

"Well...! I'll just have to train even harder so that I can for sure catch up to you next time!"

If you think about it, you were technically helping him.

You also had a great amount of intelligence, and you used it to help Kaito with his astronaut needs. Calculations and such.

"Thanks, babe! You're the best! I can't wait to live out my dream with you!"

[sage-writing]

Bookstore encounters // Curtis Everett

Curtis Everett x (gender neutral) reader

Summary: You meet Curtis for the first time after your shift at the bookstore (AU)

Word Count: 899

Warnings: none (maybe a brief moment of angst), flirty atmosphere, still +18 tho

A/N: this is the first story I decided to post, so please don't be too harsh on me😬🙈 aaaand as always I am not an English native speaker so there will be probably some errors. Feedback is always appreciated tho.

Anyway, enjoy ❤️

You stood on your tiptoes to put new copies on the bookshelf. Like every weekend, you pushed a shift at Sam's Bookstore. You loved the place. It wasn't a huge, modern library, with big windows and spacious aisles, but it wasn't a hipster store either, with wannabe intellectuals hanging out and where coffee or weed was sold at the same time. This store was your own little world, and you were happy here.

"You gonna be okay?" Sam's voice snapped you out of your thoughts. He peeked out from behind a shelf and looked at you with gentle eyes. Sam was in his mid-40s and had started this bookstore on his own 15 years ago. You got along great, and you were glad to have such a laid-back boss. "Yeah, I'm just about done. If there's nothing else I can do, I'd like to stay and read for a while. Assuming that's okay with you." "Of course. Stay as long as you like."

You browsed for only a short time until you found a book that appealed to you. You'd read it at least three times before, but for an hour of relaxation, it was just the thing. At the far end of the bookstore was an old bay window with an upholstered bench, next to it a wing chair. Equipped with your book, you settled down on the bench. There was sparse lighting back here, but enough light fell through the dim window for you to read. You began to read and dived deep into the world of the book. Word by word. Line by line. And page by page. Reading became easier and easier and it was almost as if the story was really happening around you.

A creak of the floorboards pulled you out of your thoughts and you looked up from your book. Someone was standing behind a shelf and seemed to be watching you. A rather tall person. It was quiet for a few seconds before you opened your mouth. "Say, why don't you take a picture, it would last longer." You asked cheekily. A soft laugh sounded from the shadows and the person stepped forward. The sight almost froze your blood in your veins. The man who was now walking towards you with slow steps was very tall, wearing a long black coat, leather boots and a black beanie. He had a thick beard, but the most prominent detail in his face were his ice-blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." His voice was soft but masculine. "You didn't scare me. I just don't like being watched." You tried to sound determined and meet his gaze. He adjusted his beanie. "May I sit down?" he asked politely. "It's a free country, I can't very well forbid it."

He laughed again and settled down in the chair while you tried to focus on your book again. However, you feel his gaze on you. "Good title. A classic." He remarked with a nod towards your book. Now it was you who smiled and the previous tension towards the stranger seemed to subside. "I've read it a lot, but well what can I say, I can't put it down. I work here at the store and I like to stay here for a bit after work." You explained to him. He leaned forward and rested his arms on his thighs. Suddenly you could smell him clearly. Mostly aftershave but with an individual touch. "That's how I feel, too. And every time I re-read it I notice new details." He started a sincere conversation about the book on and you were surprised he’d actually read it and it wasn’t a cheap pick-up line. You chatted about the story, the plot twist at the end, the characters and their transformation, and the author's writing style. You were so deep into the conversation that you didn't even realize you had put the book aside and were only focused on the stranger in front of you. While he spoke, his gaze was always firmly on you. In between, he stroked his hand through his beard, which made his prominent cheekbones stand out even more. You noticed his calloused hands and wondered what he did for a living. A factory worker or a handyman? The blue of his eyes was simply engaging. Although his stature, appearance, and clothing made him seem like a tough guy, he could express himself eloquently, and by his words you already knew he must have a soft core.

"I have to confess that I already knew you worked here. I've seen you here a few times already. I don't want to seem creepy, I just wanted to..." he actually started to stutter, searching for words. You had to smile. It was almost cute that he was getting nervous now after all. "I was wondering if maybe you'd like to have coffee with me?"

"Yeah, I'd love to. My shift here is over, we're welcome to leave now for all I care."

He couldn't hide his smile and it was contagious. "Can I ask you your name?"

You told him your name and he repeated it. The sound of his voice as he said your name was soft as warm wind and sweet as honey. You asked for his name in return.

"My name is Curtis."

"Well then Curtis, let's go get some coffee."

[perpetually-forgettable]

Chapter Thirteen

Summary: We find out what Bucky was doing and why he didn’t answer the phone when reader called, small confrontation between Steve and Bucky, we find out (partially) why reader has an aversion to thunderstorms, reader and Bucky have a heart to heart and a decision is made.  

Warnings: cussing, mentions of catatonic state and autism, mentions of mild injury, mentions of character death, caregiver!bucky, mentions of maturation, mild sexual tension. (I think that’s everything but please let me know if I missed anything!)

Word count: 5,234 (roughly) 

A/N: So I know it’s been a bit of a wait and I'm sorry, life has been hitting hard lately. I’m not super in love with this chapter but there are certain parts I like a lot. There will be explanations for certain things later on. Also, please don’t hate me for the ending, this is a SLOW BURN guys, the absolute slowest. Also also, there may be some mistakes in here, tried my best to catch them all but I've been super sick and brain fog has taken over. Lol. 

“Hey Buck…um…God, can’t remember the last time I had to leave you a voicemail,” she chuckled, “But anyways, Steve is coming over to work on our project, he came up with a super neat idea that I wanna try and work with and since it’s a group project I wanted to see if you could come over too, there’ll be free pizza…so um…call me back when you can. Bye.”

Carefully navigating the wet streets, Bucky was smiling wider than he ever had before, he still couldn’t believe everything that had happened.

She loves me too.

Seeing the light ahead was red, Bucky slowed down to a stop, he was always extra careful at this intersection, this is where y/n got hit by that drunk driver. He knew the chances of him having an accident here too were pretty slim, but it's all he thought about each time he found his way here.

With his eyes on the light, Bucky’s phone rang. It was his father.

“Hey dad, what’s up?” He asked, looking around him before stepping on the gas, the light now green.

“Hey son, you busy? I need your help with something pretty important.”

“Uh…no, I'm just headed home, football practice was canceled ‘cause of the storm. Everything okay?” He asked, concerned.

“Yes and no. John and Mary Hebert had some trees come down on their property, a few on that long ass driveway of theirs but…a tree also came down in their living room and a small one hit part of the back porch.”

“Oh my god, are they okay?”

“Yea, yea. For the most part, Mary is pretty shook up and John had some debris fall on him and his shoulder is giving him problems, but they can't get out of the driveway for him to go get it checked out. That's what I need your help with, I wanna get the trees cut up and cleared away so they can get him in to see a doctor about that shoulder.”

“Okay, yea, do you want me to meet you at home or just go straight to the Hebert’s?”

“Well, I grabbed the chainsaws and an axe or two from home and I’m almost to their place now so might as well meet me there.”

“Okay, sounds good. See you there.”

Hanging up, Bucky turned right into the McDonald’s parking lot to turn around and make his way to the Hebert property as quickly as he could. Mary and John Hebert were good people, his folks had been friends with them since before he was born so he’s known them all his life and he hated that this had happened to them.

Man, I hope Mr. Hebert is okay.

Pulling up their house, Bucky saw his dad had parked half in the yard and half on the side of the road so Bucky did the same, leaving his phone in the center console he stepped out and met his dad at the tailgate of his truck where all the equipment they would use was sprawled out.

“Hey son, thanks for doing this, I called up some of the guys at work and they’re gonna try and come help out too but they’re helping a few other people themselves, this storm did some pretty nasty damage in several areas.”

“It’s not a problem dad. I don’t mind.”

“I still appreciate it. And I’m sure John and Mary do too.”

“I hope John isn’t too banged up,” Bucky said, looking up at the sky. “Well, this break ain’t gonna last too long so we better get to gettin’ so we can get John to the doc.”

As they checked over their equipment, Bucky’s dad asked about y/n, knowing bad weather freaked her out before moving onto the first tree in their way.

“She’s good,” he grunted as he started picking up the tree limbs scattered about the vicinity, “She had a bad episode after school but we…uh, we talked, and she came out of it soon enough.”

“Well, I’m glad you could help her out son, you’re a good man.” His dad said as he clasped his son’s shoulder, squeezing lightly.

Bucky chuckled, “Thanks dad.”

“Alright, let’s get this done while we can.”

“Sounds good.”

After putting on some safety glasses, Bucky and his dad worked together to cut up the large trees on the driveway, the sky becoming darker as time went on but thankfully staying mostly dry. Even with the strong wind, Bucky was sweating, saw dust and grime coating his body, his arms almost numb from the vibration of the chainsaw, the trees had been cut into large sections that they could continue to cut into and make into smaller, more manageable pieces. Bucky put his chainsaw down to start moving the limbs to the side as his dad continued to saw the remaining sections into even smaller prices and after an hour and half, Bucky was covered in scratches all across his arms, a few on his face from dragging the larger limbs across the yard, his clothes were covered in dirt and debris, but the two large trees were finally cleared away and they were able to pull their vehicles up the driveway, closer to the house to start working on the trees that fell into the house.

Seeing the damage done to the house made Bucky sick to his stomach, the living room was reduced to rubble and there was damage elsewhere as a result of the roof coming down. Sighing, Bucky started clearing things up, making a pile for their belongings that could maybe be salvaged and another for debris that needed to be thrown away like insulation and wall paneling before his dad made his way over.

“Alright James, just heard from some of the guys, they’re on their way if you wanna go ahead ‘nd head on home, maybe a take a shower and check up on y/n. Storm’s already startin’ to pick up again.”  

Bucky looked up at the sky, not noticing before now that the wind had picked up and how the thunder seemed to roll constantly, lightning flashed every few minutes. Hopefully y/n wasn’t too freaked out already.

“And James, thank you for helping with this, I know you didn’t have to, but you did a good thing and stuff like this, going outta your way to help someone else, it’s what makes a person good. Proud of you son.” His dad said, reaching out to wrap his son in a hug.

Bucky chuckled “Thanks dad, but it wasn’t a problem, I don’t mind helping. Matter a fact, if you guys end up needin’ more help, just call me, alright?”

“Will do, now get outta here.” His dad laughed.

“Yea, yea, I’m goin’ alright?” They laughed with each other for a moment before sharing a final hug before Bucky dusted himself off as best as he could while he made the small journey back to his truck, the rain starting back up again, not quite a small shower but not an outright downpour either. But as he looked up into the clouds above, Bucky could sense the power and the danger those clouds would bring.

This ain’t gonna be pretty.

The clouds above made Bucky more nervous than before, he figured this was going to be a really bad storm and that made him worried for y/n.

I should probably call her.

So, he did. Now in the truck with the wipers on, he reached for his phone and saw he had a missed call from y/n.

Damn.

He listened to the voicemail.

“Hey Buck…um…God, can’t remember the last time I had to leave you a voicemail,” she chuckled, “But anyways, Steve is coming over to work on our project, he came up with a super neat idea that I wanna try and work with and since it’s a group project I wanted to see if you could come over too, there’ll be free pizza…so um…call me back when you can. Bye.”

He checked what time it was when she called and saw it was close to three hours ago, so he tried to call her back and apparently, they were playing phone tag now because she didn’t answer. Trying not to let his anxiety get the best of him, he put the truck in reverse, placing his right hand on the headrest of the passenger seat and twisted his body to look behind him, making sure the path behind him was clear as he backed up out of the driveway and then shifted gears again as he drove away from the Hebert property.

As Bucky made his way through traffic, the storm picked up quite a bit, it wasn’t quite as bad as it was while they had been at school, but Bucky pressed the gas a little more, looking up at the sky through the windshield every few minutes. This was gonna be a bad storm, he just hoped y/n could just hold on long enough for him get there and get a shower and then he could be there for her.

In her voicemail, she had said that Steve was going over to her house to work on the project and while the thought of Steve being alone with her bothered him, he had to remind himself that y/n wasn’t his yet, but she did love him, so that would have to ease his mind for the time being.

Like the universe had been privy to his thoughts, his phone rang, it was y/n.

“Hey doll, you doin’ okay?” he asked, smiling to himself.

“Um…hey Buck, it’s Steve…”

“Steve? Why are you calling from y/n’s phone?” He asked, a little angry.

“My phone died, thought I had it charging before I left but I guess it wasn’t connected all the way, I dunno. But, um…-”

Bucky cut him off, “Is she okay?”

With a sight Steve answered, “No, she’s not. I-I don’t know what to do but she-”

“I’m on my way, just keep her safe until I get there. Don’t fuck this up Steve.” Bucky said to him, hanging up and looking around him and deciding it was safe enough to speed up even more.

Pulling into his spot in his driveway, he put the truck in park hastily and ran to y/n’s door and swung it open like he owned the place, his eyes immediately fell on Steve standing off the kitchen near the laundry room, his head turning to see Bucky as he marched his way towards them.

Y/n was huddled in the small space between the washer and dryer. She had her hands over her ears and knees up to her chest, in a full-blown panic attack.

With a defeated sigh, he knelt down and reached out to her, placing his hand on her knee and looked up at Steve, “How long has she been like this?”

“She’s been there for maybe ten minutes, I tried getting her to come out of there, but it was like she didn’t even know I was there. I didn’t know what to do but she mumbled your name a few times so I figured I should call you.”

Bucky’s eyes went back to y/n’s trembling form and exhaled through his nose before speaking to Steve again, “Alright, I need your help with this one, can you do everything I tell you to do exactly as I tell you? If you don’t, she could go into it even further, so I need you to be honest with me Steve, can you do this?”

He nodded, “Yea, I can do it. What do you need me to do?”

Bucky stood up and walked a few paces into the kitchen. “Alright, so I’m disgusting, I need to shower, I’ve got some clothes here but what I need you to do is very carefully pick her up and carry her to her bed and keep an eye on her so I can shower. Okay? Can you do that?”

Bucky hated that he needed to ask Steve for help, but this was about y/n and not him, so he was willing to grit his teeth for her sake. He could be there for her better once he wasn’t covered in filth.

“Yea, okay, I can do that.” Steve nodded.

“Okay, let’s do this.”

Bucky got out of Steve’s way to give him more room to pick her up in the small space and his stomach soured at seeing him clutch her against his body and he did his best to ignore it as he led the way to y/n’s room, not sure if Steve knew where it was. He slowly opened the door and turned on the desk lamp to give them some light, not wanting the bright light on the ceiling to make things worse for y/n and Steve set her down on her bed on her side, already moving to take her shoes off and set them at the end of her bed. Walking to the closet, Bucky found the soft fuzzy blanket he kept there and handed it to Steve, placing it gently over her before tucking it in around her, adding an extra layer of comfort.

“How’d you know to do that?” Bucky asked, curious how he seemed to be doing all the right things for her all of a sudden.

Steve turned around and looked at Bucky sheepishly. “Um…well her behavior is pretty similar to the episodes someone at my church has, he’s on the spectrum and pressure helps him sometimes. Figured I’d give it a try…sorry.” He said, fearing he may have made things worse.  

“No, no it’s okay. It does help her a lot. I usually gotta put her in my lap and squeeze her pretty hard, takes some time but she comes out of it soon enough. She doesn’t usually get this bad into it, but this is a pretty bad storm, so it makes sense.” Bucky shrugged.

Both of them stood there for a moment and observed her, curled up in her bed before Steve turned back to Bucky as he was rifling through her closet for his set of clothes. “What happened?” He asked softly.

Bucky knew what he meant; he just wasn’t sure if he should tell him. “Well, she’s not autistic, I can tell you that,” he said, not unkindly.

“Oh, I know she isn’t. This seems more like a severe phobia. Is it the thunder or the lightning that does it?”

“Astraphobia. A severe phobia of thunderstorms. So, it’s both. Thunder, lightning, the rain, and wind, all of it…sets her off.

“Geez, poor thing. Is there a reason?” Steve asked, looking back at y/n on the bed again.

“Yea…there’s a reason.” Bucky answered before walking away towards the bathroom, his clothes in tow.

Now inside the bathroom, he set his clothes on the counter by the sink before going to the shower, pulling back the curtain and turning on the faucet and adjusting the temperature until he found the water just right before pulling the mechanism to make the water flow from the shower head. Shutting the curtain again, he went and sat down on the toilet seat to start unlacing his shoes and taking his socks off and setting them aside, next was his shirt and the rest of his clothes. He set them all on the floor, out of the way since they were so dirty and then he hopped in the shower to quickly scrub the grime and dirt from his body.

Bucky knew why weather like this scared y/n so bad, he’d be that way too if he were stuck in the car with his dying father for four and a half hours, unable to do anything, emergency responders having no idea they even needed help, let alone where to look, partly because of the weather and partly because of the fact that the road wasn’t used as often anymore since the city built the small bridge over the canal. She was only ten years old for crying out loud.

Now clean, he closed the bathroom door and made his way back to y/n’s room, Bucky found her still on her bed in the same spot as before, still pretty far into herself.

“Still nothing?” Bucky asked Steve who was sitting at her desk, looking rather tense.

He shook his head. “No, still nothing. I’ve kept an eye on her breathing just in case though, no changes. “

With a sigh, Bucky sat down on the edge of the bed and set his hand on y/n’s leg, rubbing it gingerly as he looked over at Steve.

“Hey man, I’m…I’m sorry for being a dick before. I didn’t mean to be such an asshole, I just…I know how she is when this happens, and sometimes certain things make it worse and I just…. I worry about her.” Bucky apologized.

“I get it Buck, I do. I’m not mad.”

“Thank you for your help, Steve, and thank you for calling me.”

Steve gave a quick nod. “It’s not a problem, glad I was able to help.”

They sat there in silence for a moment, both concerned about the girl on the bed, the girl they both loved, even if they didn’t know it.

Steve glanced at the clock on the bedside table, not realizing the time, he stood up from the chair slowly. “Well, I should get going. Will you text me and let me know when she’s better, please?”

Bucky nodded, standing up to give Steve a quick hug. “Yea man, I’ll let you know. Drive safe, storm’s still bad out there.”

Bucky followed Steve to the front door and sent him a quick wave as he got into his vehicle before closing the door and locking it behind him and walking back upstairs to y/n. Now back in her bedroom, Bucky went over to her dresser and found her some comfy pajamas, knowing she’d want a shower and to relax once she came to, before setting them on the computer chair. He grabbed the TV remote and crawled into bed with y/n, readjusting the blankets as they shifted from his movements. He turned the TV on, keeping the volume low, not paying much attention to what was on the screen as he reached for his phone to text his parents and y/n’s mom, letting them know what happened and that he’d more than likely need to spend the night, but letting them know that she’s still out of it, but fine aside from that.

Bucky soon settled in and relaxed, finally choosing a movie on Netflix after scrolling for a few minutes, it was something about sharks and an underwater research facility, it was a pretty good movie, if not a little predictable, but he enjoyed it, nonetheless.

Curled up next to y/n, he absentmindedly stroked her arm with his thumb as he waited for her to reappear before him. Bucky knew it was going to take some time considering the severity of the incident, but he didn’t mind in the least. He would be there for her, no matter how long it took.

---

It started slowly, her blinking became less robotic, more controlled, her legs and arms would twitch, trying to come back to life.

Bucky recognized the signs; she was starting to come to. Getting ready for the inevitable emotional breakdown when things got this bad, he sat up, muted the TV, and spoke softly to her, encouraging her to come back, that she was safe and then she looked up at him with sad eyes.

Bucky leaned down and stoked her cheek with his thumb, smiling softly at her. “Hey doll, welcome back.”

She remained silent but leaned into his touch slightly, barely noticeable, closing her eyes.

“Steve called me, I was on my way home but when he told me it happened already, I drove straight here. I had him help me get you settled here in bed because I needed to shower and didn’t want to get you covered in shit too. He stayed with you so I could take a quick shower, I texted my folks and your mom, let them know what happened, told them I’d stay the night and whatnot. Steve asked me to text him once you got better, your mom texted too, said she was gonna try and come home soon but work is crazy. I got you some clothes laid out for ya when you’re ready to shower.”

She opened her eyes and sat up slowly. “Thank you, Bucky.” She said, her voice gravely and cracking from disuse. She cleared her throat and tried again. “Thank you. Really. What were you doing before?”

“Was helpin’ my dad. John and Mary Hebert had some trees come down on their property, John got hurt a bit and needed to go get his shoulder looked at, but the trees were blocking the way out, so me and pop went and cut ‘em up.”

She sat up straighter, concern etched on her face. “Oh no, is he okay?”

Bucky nodded. “Yea, nothing too serious but it was hurtin’ him pretty bad, and he had limited range of motion, so they wanted it checked out to make sure.”

She nodded slowly, looking down for a few minutes before she started untangling herself from the bed to stand up and once, she did, she just stood there, her shoulders sagged, and her head bent down before she wrapped her arms around herself and that’s when the tears started.

Bucky stood up and wrapped his arms around her from behind, laying his head on the back of hers. “I’m so sorry doll.”

They stayed like that until she calmed down enough and was no longer crying. She nodded her head, signaling to Bucky that it was okay for him to let her go, that she was ‘okay’ and he stepped away to pick up the clothes he had chosen for her before making his way back to her and placing his hand near the small of her back and gesturing to the door with his hand that held her clothes and they made their way to the bathroom. Her body was still in autopilot mode so Bucky did as much for her as he could, turning on the shower and getting her towels ready for her.

“I’m gonna wait out in the hallway for you, okay? Holler if you need me.” He said to her before stepping out of the bathroom, leaning against the wall before sliding down to sit on the floor, his arms resting on his bent knees in front of him.

He was slightly worried she wouldn’t actually get in but thankfully, he heard the shower curtain move and the sounds of the water changed. He sighed and closed his eyes, resting the back of his head on the wall.

“Bucky…can I ask you something?” You asked hesitantly. “You don’t have to answer though.” You quickly added.

“Sure doll, what’s up?” He rolled his head to look down at you.

After your shower, you and Bucky moved wordlessly to the bed, like you had so many times before. He was leaned partially up on the headboard with one arm resting behind his head and the other wrapped around your shoulders, his hand placed on your hip. As you laid on your side, your head resting on his chest, you could hear his heartbeat and even breathing, it helped calm you, and center you and you couldn’t help but wonder about what the future holds for you and him.

You didn’t look up at him when you answered, only curling up next to him further and resting your hand on his chest. “When…when did you notice that things had changed…for you?” You had been curious about it, about at what point he began thinking of you as something other than the best friends you’d been all your life.

You felt, rather than heard his soft chuckle. “Well, to be honest doll, it started out more as a…physical thing I guess you could say. You’ve always been beautiful but…outta the blue it became more than just knowing you’re pretty and more about how it made me feel, I guess. I could tell you had kinda the same thing goin’ on too, noticed that you looked at me differently and between that and you gettin’ so flustered when I’d mess with ya, it got me all hot and bothered. It was cute and sexy as hell, and it turned me on like crazy. Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you that way and I kept beating myself up about it, kept thinkin’ it was wrong because you’re my friend and up until that point I always kinda saw you as a sister I guess.” He shrugged, choosing his next words. “But I think that love was always there, it just…changed. The physical attraction had me lookin’ at things differently, myself and you and our relationship. I looked deep inside myself and kept asking myself all these questions and I was really strugglin’ with it all, felt like I was…betraying you in a way. But…then it hit me like a ton a bricks…I loved you, and I had all this time. It took me getting’ turned on by you to make all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place I guess.”

You truly didn’t know what to say. Bucky rarely opened up like that and you weren’t expecting such an honest and open answer.

He could tell you were processing everything, so he continued. “I know that may not be the answer you were lookin’ for, but I told you that I want this, and you deserve the truth.” He stayed silent, not expecting you to respond, but he wanted to give you time for his words to sink in and hit home. “But if you’re wondering the exact moment, I noticed things changing for me, it was after that match against Steve and Tony. The way you flopped down on my bed had me thinkin’ things I’d never though about before with you. Don’t know why but that’s when I noticed the beginnings of a sexual attraction to you.” He chuckled to himself. “I…I actually had to rub one out that night. Couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you and then you called right after, when you called about your wallet.” He laughed again, deeper this time.

“Then seeing you looking under my bed in that skirt just…drove me crazy. I about lost my damn mind y/n, it took everything in me not to…” He cleared his throat. “It was in my truck. After the football game and when we went to dinner, we were in my truck, and you showed me the pictures of us at the fair. It was then. That’s when I knew I loved you, that I was in love with you. Seeing the way you acted around me, I was gonna try and tease you and get you to fold, admit you wanted me but…”

He didn’t need to finish, you knew what happened, you knew he was tempting you, but you didn’t realize that he had already felt that way about you at that point. You just thought it was him being a tease, almost mocking you in a way, you hadn’t known it was a ploy to get to where you are now.

“What about you doll?” He asked, scooting down on the bed, and turning on his side, facing you.

You blinked up at him. “It was kind of the same, the-the physical things started for me when you tickled me and tried to push me off the bed. It…got worse and then…” You licked your lips, noticing his eyes caught the movement before coming back up to meet your eyes. “It was after I left your house looking for my wallet, before you came to get me for the game. That’s…that’s when I knew.” You finished, looking away from his gaze.

“Knew what doll?” He asked, his voice low and deep.

Your eyes snapped to his at the tone of his voice, it was husky and taunting, daring you to say it. But for some reason, you couldn’t.

Bucky leaned in closer, his forehead finding rest against yours as he closed his eyes. “C’mon doll…say it.”

There was such longing in his voice, such love. But also need, you heard how much he needed to hear you say it, and you had an inkling of how those words would affect him. You were torn between still needing your space to figure things out and throwing caution to the wind and saying the words he so desperately wanted to hear, just to see how much he wanted you…you. Of all the people he could choose, he’s choosing you and that knowledge brings about a sense of power, an intoxicating pride you’d never felt before and you wanted to take it all in, see the unbridled desire in his eyes for you.

You let out a soft sigh. “Bucky…”

Bucky shook his head slightly before placing his hand on the side of your face, caressing the apple of your cheek with his thumb. “Y/n…” You could hear the the tremble in his voice, the barely contained desire there, just below the surface, threatening to boil over.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for just a moment, just long enough to gather your courage before opening them again, letting them settle on where his blue eyes would be when they opened.

“That’s when I knew I was in love with you, James Buchanan Barnes.”  

You knew, you weren’t a complete idiot, you knew how hearing those words would affect Bucky, you knew what it would do to him, what it would drive him to do. And yet…you were still caught off guard when he kissed you.

He kissed you with such passion and fire, it was breathtaking and fearsome, you’d never felt such devotion through a single kiss. Because that’s all it was…a single kiss before he backed away, with his eyes closed and his head hung low.

You don’t know what to say or do, there was a maelstrom of emotions running through you, there was too much, the grief you still felt over the tragic death of your father, the intense love you felt for Bucky, confusion at your feelings towards Steve, sadness at the prospect of either going all in with Bucky and the chance it would ruin everything…

And then it hit you. You realized that if you took that chance, became more than friends with him, you’d lose moments like this. Outside of him kissing you, what he’s done for you meant so much to you. He was the only one you trusted to take care of you when you were locked in your own brain like this.

It was too much. You hadn’t even realized the tears had started falling from your eyes until Bucky wiped them away.

“What’s wrong y/n?” He inquired, looking concerned.

“I-I can’t do this Buck. I love you…with all my heart. But-” you tried to explain through broken sobs. “I can’t lose you Bucky. I- I can’t take that chance. You mean too much to me. We can’t… we can’t do this. I’m so sorry but…I can’t.”

Previous Chapter 

[b00t-s]

We're all gossip-y bitches sometimes

this is part two

Janus xey/xem

Roman she/he

Patton he/him

Virgil he/him

See the character intros for more info

TW. Swearing, arguments, alcohol, drunk characters, the word v//mit is used once, characters being characters, past trauma mentioned, tiny tiny tiny sprinkle of angst but just a passing of it at end, and nothing to intense

Again, tell me if I'm being insensitive. Shout at me if I am.

Summary: Patton goes to talk to Janus about Roman. The group opens...'some' bottles. Virgil adds on some...interesting opinions.

Events occur few hours after this.

Janus just finished xeir nightly shift when Patton came bounding up to xem. Janus raised an eyebrow at how ecstatic he looked.

"Yes?" Xey managed out, forcing back the hundreds of snarky comments xey could of said right then.

"Can you hang out at My house later?" Patton practically beamed out.

"why would I want to 'hang out'? It's just a social construct created to give people a higher sense of being." Janus remarked, flipping to closed/open side to closed.

"So you'll be there?"

"hmm. Will doom-and-gloom be there?

"doom and---ohhh, Virge. Yeah, probably," Patton realised now that this was a bad mix of people to invite "probably-probably not for long though!"

"Fine" Janus replied, taking off xeir apron. Xey ignored the obvious lie. "I'll be there in an hour." Xey knew one way or another xey would end up there due to Patton's... effective persuading.

"Great!" Patton exclaimed "oh yeah, and...um...it's raining outside so..take my umbrella, kay?"

His tone more serious all of a sudden, Patton nodded to Janus' heavily made up face, so well done an ignorant bystander wouldn't of noticed the thick layers of foundation on xeir face.

Patton handed xem a translucent umbrella, patterned with cute frogs and flowers, to Janus. Ignoring the distasteful cartoons, Janus nodded and took the umbrella.

"See you soon, Jan!" Patton cheerily waved as he bounced off.

Janus folded xeir apron, opened Patton's umbrella and braved the outdoors.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Janus arrived at Patton's house exactly on time, bone dry, despite the heavily flowing rain. Patton expected nothing less of his friend. He invited xem inside, amazed as always by his friend's everyday fashion.

Jan was wearing a casual yellow shirt over a long sleeved black shirt. Fishnet gloves adorned xeir hands, and xeir ruffled hair was let lose.

Xeir fashionably messy hair was topped with a neatly placed black fedora, which of xey never took off. Xey even scarred persuaded Thomas to let xem wear it to work.

Patton offered xem a smile, and walked xem upstairs. "Hi Jan!" He grinned.

"Hello" xey replied mundanely.

Xey absent-mindedly glanced at Patton's outfit, which contained a violet cashmere sweater, bell bottomed jeans, circular silver glasses and a sunflower clip in his perfect curls.

It was a good look, xey had to admit.

When they both reached Patton's room, Janus stood still, taking in xeir surroundings.

Patton's room was covered with things from the 2000's; Tamagotchi's, stickers pressed up against the pastel wall, stuffed animals, wristbands, old CD's, care bears posters and butterfly clips littering the floor in a deadly trap.

A trans flag was pinned above the single bed with blue tack, right next to some inspirational and motivational quotes.

The whole place looked like it had been puked on by unicorns.

It hurt Janus' eyes.

Xey was a little overwhelmed by all the spiraling colours and nostalgia-inducing objects, so xey sat cross-legged in the middle of the pink carpet. The world slowed down.

Janus wondered, not for the first time, how a 29 year old could be this cheerful.

.

Or appear this cheerful.

"Jan?"

Janus gave a small twitch of xeir head, realising that xey had spaced out. "Hmm?" Xey replied.

"Hey, you were up with the clouds! I was just saying, I think Virge is here" Patton chirped.

"oh"

"he...might be staying for a little longer then i said"

"How wonderful." Janus muttered, knowing this would happen but hating it anyway.

"oh, don't be like that! I'm sure you guys could become friends!" Janus snorted. "Or...at least not kill at each other whenever you're in the same general area" Patton corrected.

"Anyway! I'm going to greet him at the door!" He suddenly proclaimed, skipping downstairs.

Janus was disgusted at how naïve this man was.

But that was a lie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Patton slowed his happy skip to a casual walk. His grin slipped into a content smile as he reached the end of the stairs. Being so happy takes its toll on people, he thought. Soft tapping of the door interrupted his thoughts as he opened the door to reveal Virgil.

The first thing you notice about this man was his unfair tall-ness. He nearly had to duck to get inside; being too skinny didn't help. Virgil was wearing a plain black hoodie over a mcr top, completing the look with a short, pleated skirt and docs. His face was slathered in white foundation, accompanied with dark eyeshadow under his eyes.

"Virge!! I'm glad you could make it, even if you are late!!Again!" Patton hugged his friend, genuinely glad for his presence. The taller man patted Patton's curls awkwardly.

"Heyyyy Pat-" Virgil did the awkward pats on the back everyone does when they want to get out of a hug but don't want to say it in fear of hurting ones feelings. "Traffic-"

Patton withdrew from the hug and smiled. "okay! at least you're here safe! Can't control the traffic"

"Janus is waiting for us upstairs" Patton continued. He hurriedly carried on speaking before Virgil could spit out an insult about xem "say, you know what I hate about stairs? They're always up to something!" Patton laughed at his own joke, whilst Virgil pretended to face-palm, hiding a snigger.

"Alright, Alright dAd, didn't you say snake face was waiting for us?" Virgil mocked. Patton chuckled uncomfortably at the nickname, but nodded nonetheless.

"Yeah, we shouldn't leave xem waiting"

They both entered his room, having walked the short journey there in a comfortable silence. Patton noted Janus had not moved from were he left xem; xey had just shifted to read a book xey most likely found lying around. Janus looked up upon their arrival, xeir face immediately twisting into a mocking grimace upon seeing Virgil. "ah, you brought the racoon"

"Janus play nice--"

"you're one to talk, you participated in 2012 Tumblr" Virgil threw back

"must you be so wounding" Janus dramatically threw xeir hand against xeir forehead.

"okAY, that's enough guys." Patton firmly said. Janus pulled a face in reply, and Virgil returned the favour. Patton sighed. He just wanted them to get along, which was probably a high expectation by itself.

Perhaps he had booze leftover somewhere.

--------------------------------

Twelve near fist fights, two crying sessions and many, many, many bottles of alcohol later, it was nearing eleven pm and the group was drunker than a litter of catnip high kittens.

They all crowded into a close-knit circle on the bed, nearly falling off but not caring.

"ssso your telling me that flashy asss hhimbo sssssaid I wasss hot but then rude and that I wore too muchh makeup? What a *hic* bitchh" Janus hissed.

Patton giggled. "yeeeeee, be nice though! She was kindaaaa alllllllll over the place!" Patton continued bluntly, "But how would you feel if I set you guys up????~"

"oh pleassssse do, I would just love that" Janus may be trashed but xey still knew sarcasm. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending who you are, Patton did not.

"yayyy! This is gonna be great!!"

Virgil butted in then, waving around the bottle he was holding "hold on, just holllld on a minute there, you're planning to set up that" he vaugly gestured in Janus' direction "with Princy??? Xey've known her for what, 4 minutes? Life isn't a disney movie"

"Dare I detect a hint of jealousy there emo?" Janus purred "am I that lovable?" Xey hiccuped.

"ooooooooh" Patton leaned into the circle, loving the drunk drama.

"wouldn't you like to know weather boy" Virgil droned back, finishing off the bottle.

"Honey, I would dare ssay that was a yesss"

"nO"

"oooooo, you liiiiike meeeEe"

"you disgust me"

"kinky"

Patton shook his hands excitingly at them, nearly hitting Virgil, causing them to shut up. "I can't believe you're finally open to a relationship after what happened! With my best friend no least! Boy did I try to get you to go on more dat--" Patton suddenly clasped his hands over his mouth as if he just said something nasty.

.

.

Everyone went silent. Janus stared at Patron, xeir mouth slightly parted. Virgil laughed nervously to try and break the tension. It sounded strained.

Janus began to speak to stop Patton from starting to spout drunken apologies. "Well thatssss jusst a liee, I've dated pleeenty of people over..well...that...period..of time."

Everyone went silent again, not quite sure on what to say.

Virgil's anxiety was heightening due to the social awkwardness and the influence of the alcohol.

Patton was fidgeting in his lap.

It was Janus yet again who broke the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"Sssso, *hic* you ssaid you wanted me to go out with thisss idiot?"

----------------------------------

first-previous-next

updated masterpost

tag list: @arrowthenon-binaryroyalty, @spellingwillbethedeathofme,

ask if you want to be added or removed from tag list

and we meet our boi virgil

context is for losers

i could of probably cut out unnecessary things in that but y'know I'm new and I like it

these posts will be in chronological order, unless flashback, but it's not following a set-in-stone story line, so asks are, yet again, much appreciated.

I procrastinated too much during the making of this

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety

Words: 4k

Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of violence, mentions of drug abuse

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"Hey, Viv, it's Tansy...I got your flowers and was calling to let you know I'm getting out of the hospital today, and I'm heading to the same place the guys are at, Nikki said it doesn't suck as bad as the other places they've tested out, um…" Tansy's sweet voice sounds over my answering machine. "...I'm really sorry for not calling earlier. I'm just now getting off methadone, so I've kicked smack successfully. I just wanted you to know I'm doing okay and getting some help, and Nikki called and told me you two were working things out." She adds. "Come visit me, soon, okay? We have a lot of shit to talk through, and I know we do, I just don't know where to start but I love you. I'll see you later." 

She hangs up and I smile a little bit, rubbing my lips together.

I haven't heard anything on her since Steven told me she was in the hospital back in New York after her overdose not long after Nikki's. I sent flowers when he told me she had to undergo emergency surgery to cut a part of her liver out that was turning necrotic. 

I hope we can get through things like me and Nikki are trying to do, I think Amber's going to try to bring Vince and Tommy in to talk about our relationships as a whole the session after this next one Nikki and I have...maybe Tansy and I can sit down a few times and hash things out, too. 

I head to get a bath, but it's not long before my peace is soon disturbed. 

This is the fifth time the phone has rung in the past two minutes, and I roll my eyes and pull myself out of the bathtub, grabbing my towel and stepping to the living room. 

I already see my message machine blinking from unheard voice-mails, and I pick the phone up and answer it. 

Before I can even say, "hello," Sharise starts in. 

"Vivian, what is going on, why didn't you say anything about it, why--"

"Sharise, slow down," I'm bombarded with a million questions, paranoia making my chest tighten. 

"Vivian, you're pregnant, apparently, that's what's going on." She clarifies, and I feel the color drain from my face. 

"Did Vince hear that from Nikki and tell you or--"

"--You're actually pregnant?!"

"You didn't hear it from Vince?" 

"No, Vivian, it's all over MTV!" She says next, not sounding angry at me, just shocked. 

"What?!" 

Just as soon as she says it, there's a sharp beep from the phone, indicating someone's trying to call. 

"Gimme a second and I'll call you back." I assure her. 

"Fuck that, I'm coming over." She tells me before hanging up and I take the next call while turning the TV on to MTV. 

I just see a picture of Nikki and I on the screen as I hear, "again, congratulations to Nikki and Vivian Sixx on the news of their…"

"Hello?" I answer the call that has interrupted Sharise and I. 

"Why the fuck is Page Six running a story about you being knocked up with Duff fucking McKagan's kid?!" Doc yells and I nearly fall out, starting to panic.

"Because I am, but I have no idea how the hell anybody other than Nikki and Duff know about it, Doc, I haven't even told any of my friends or family yet, I swear." I promise and I hear him curse and throw stuff around on the other end for a good two minutes before calmly saying, "this isn't good, Viv." 

"No, shit, Sherlock." I reply. 

"I'm going to talk to Sixx, you just stay at home--don't do anything irrational, we'll take care of this." He states, hanging up. 

My phone is ringing again as soon as he hangs up. 

My phone starts ringing off the hook within three minutes and I have to step outside to the back yard with Whisky to get away from it.

I'm sitting on the edge of the pool when Sharise gets here, this look of disbelief on her face. 

"I had to drop Sky by my mom's, what the hell, Viv?" She asks me, sitting beside me. 

"I was gonna tell you and everybody once I got past the first trimester, Sharise, I promise." I say, honestly. 

"I'm not mad that you didn't, I'm just...I didn't realize you and Nikki were sleeping together again." 

"We're not." I state. "And Doc said that Page Six already knows it's Duff's and has it plastered everywhere so somebody said something to somebody." 

"Duff?! Holy shit, Vivian." She breathes out, her eyes wide. 

"This is bad." I squeeze my eyes shut, rubbing my face. "This is so, so bad, Sharise." 

"What're you gonna do?" She asks me. "I mean...when did you two even start…you know?" 

"September." I tell her. 

"Are you gonna admit it's Duff's or just play it off as Nikki's publicly and then privately it's gonna know Duff is really it's dad or does he even want anything to do with it?" 

"Yeah, he does, and Nikki's managing." I inform her, and she nods slowly. "It's nobody's business. It's not. So I shouldn't have to explain myself to anybody but I know everybody will want an explanation and we'll just admit it's Duff's and ignore the bullshit people are gonna throw at us...I just don't want to lose any friends over this…"

"If you lose friends over this, they're not your real friends, because everybody you're close with knows exactly what kind of marriage you and Nikki have been having the past year and you've both been struggling with different things and his affair with Vanity and so I think everybody should be pretty understanding of the situation." She tells me. 

"They should be. Doesn't mean they will." 

"Well, the ones who matter right now will." She reassures me. "And from what I've been gathering the last six months, that doesn't include Tommy and Vince right now because I already know they're probably gonna be on Nikki's side completely." 

"Yeah, so will all of the fans." I mumble. 

"Well, if you're gonna confirm it's Duff's, is he gonna come out and say that he actually did have an affair with Vanity or are you just gonna be the sacrificial lamb in all this?" 

"I have no idea, Sharise." I admit.

"I think he should." She states. "Because it's not gonna be fair for people to think you just went to another man and 'cheated' on Nikki out of nowhere." 

"It doesn't matter what Nikki says about the Vanity thing, he's just gonna be a God and I'm gonna be a whore." I argue, sighing out. 

"You really think that?" 

"I know that." I state, matter of fact. 

And, boy, was I right.

"Did you two talk about the relationship you have with your mother?" Amber asks Nikki. 

"I haven't had time to because we've been dealing with a lot of shit right now." He states. 

"Okay," she nods in understanding, because there's no way she hasn't heard what we're dealing with, now. "Do you want to talk about it now, then?" She asks. 

"Yeah, I can." He agrees. 

"Okay, go ahead." She leans back, letting him have the chance to talk to me.

He just stares at me, sighing out, looking as if he's struggling with talking to me about it. 

"Nikki, if you don't tell her, she can't understand." She adds and he rubs the back of his neck, looking at her to help him a little bit. 

"Start with dad," she suggests. 

"He left when I was little." He says to me. 

"And mom…" 

"...And mom started spiraling when he left." He explains. "She and whatever boyfriend she'd have at the time, would drop me off with Nona and Tom for months at a time, then when she'd come get me she'd be with a different man--sometimes married to them." He continues. "And, me being the smartass I am, when I get old enough to want to voice my opinion, I'd bump heads a lot with some of the dudes she brought around and things would get physical." He says next. "But, of course, she wouldn't feel like dealing with it because I was always ruining her partying anyway, so she'd send me off, again…things got really messy when I was, like, thirteen. Me and her got into it pretty bad and she started in on me and I told her I just wanted her to fuck off--I was just tired of it, so I hurt myself and called the cops and told them she attacked me, and she was arrested and I was sent back to Idaho to be with my grandparents." His voice shakes a little and I feel my heart hurt in my chest. 

I remember Nona telling me he and his mom had a lot of issues with each other, but I didn't think it was to that extent. 

"Have you talked to your dad at all?" I ask him, furrowing my brows a little and he rubs his chin, shaking his head a little. 

"I tried, like, ten years ago, and he told me he didn't have a son." He states. "Mom's always said I ran him off, but I was only two, so I know that's bullshit." He adds. 

"When I talked to you about all of this, it was very clear that you felt discarded, inadequate, and abandoned, because you have spent a good part of your childhood yearning for your mother's approval." Amber says. "Do you think that's true?" 

"Yeah." He nods. 

"Jumping through hoops at times to get it, but still being ditched with your grandparents while she went on and pretended she didn't have a little boy she needed to be responsible for."

He agrees, again, and she gives him a smile. 

"A woman is who her mother makes her to be and who her father says she is. A man is who his father makes him to be and who his mother says he is." She tells us. "And you didn't have a father around to make you, and all your mother told you was that you weren't appreciated, you weren't approved of, you weren't worthy of the love and attention you deserved." She states. "And you married a woman whose mother made her to strive for this unattainable level of perfection and have a complete come apart when it can't be reached, and a father who told her she wasn't worth the trouble it took to protect her." She tells us."I want to know--because it is so evident that you two carry so much resentment toward one another--what is one reason--out of many-- that it's there."  

"She's always looked down on me." Nikki says it. 

"Why?" 

"Because I don't live like she does." 

"Explain what that means." 

"She believes in God, I don't. She's spent our relationship sober, I haven't. She's more modest and conservative, I'm not."

"I don't resent you for not believing in a God and not being modest and conservative--those are a few of the things I respect about you, Nikki." I argue. 

"Bullshi--"

"--No, no, no cursing. Take a breath." Amber reassures him, calmly. 

"She hasn't let me do what I want to do. If I do what I want to do, she's on my throat over it or guilt tripping me or attacking me over it." He states. 

"Because all you've wanted to do the past three years is drugs, Nikki." I mumble. 

"Go back to guilt tripping." Amber tells him. "Does she put you on a guilt trip, or are you guilty after you do something you know she would not like for you to do and you beat yourself up for it?" She asks. 

"She just shuts down." 

"She shuts down?" 

She looks at me. 

"Why do you shut down when he does something you don't like?" 

"Because it's always drugs or something mean he does when he's on drugs, and I don't want to be around it, but most times I can't get away from it so I just go somewhere else, mentally." I admit. 

"And you see when she does that, and it makes you feel bad." Amber says to him. 

"Yeah." 

"That's not guilt tripping you, Nikki, that's her protecting herself because you won't." She points out. "Vivian, what's one of the reasons you carry resentment for him?"

"I'm not a priority." I tell her. 

"The amount of money I've spent on you since we got together, and you're not a priority?!" He asks me, pissed and shocked I have the audacity to say that. 

"Buying me a house and a new car and getting me nice things isn't showing me I'm a priority, Nikki, it's just you feeling bad for the shit you've done and buying me things to make yourself feel better for it. I'm grateful that you've made sure I've been taken care of in the sense that I've never gone hungry, I've never been out on the street, I've never had to go without utilities and hot water and things like that, and I've lived a spoiled life in terms of finances and the car I drive and the house we've lived in. You're a great provider--you just…we wouldn't be in this position if you didn't choose drugs over me." I say to him. 

"I haven't." He argues. 

"You blew off our wedding night to go to a party with Tommy." I remind him and Amber raises her brows. "Then you got in that accident on your way back home and hurt your shoulder and started smoking heroin to get through the pain so you could finish the album." I add and he rolls his jaw. "I love everything about you, except your drug abuse. And I've been so angry because there is no line with you. You just keep getting worse and worse and then turn around and convince yourself that I'm ungrateful and I don't approve of who you are because I'm perpetually bitter about the marriage I've been in--and it's all my fault in your eyes. Everything bad that's happened is all my fault." 

"I don't think that, I just put blame on you where it's due, you just refuse to see that you're a problem in all of this, too." He explains. 

"If you weren't on smack, we wouldn't have problems, Nikki." 

"Vivian." He says it as if saying, "you know that's bullshit." 

"What?" 

"The amount of times me or somebody would tell you to take your medication and you'd blow us off and just let yourself get more--"

"--You can't compare depression to drug addiction. Depression didn't turn me into a completely different person. You shot me, Nikki. You shot me. And that still didn't make you realize you needed to get sober." 

"You've physically assaulted me and other people, Vivian, in a frenzy, and still didn't see the issue with your mental state." 

"You've put your hands on me before, too, so don't make me sound like--"

"--I've grabbed you a few times and that's been when you were trying to beat me. So don't start that shit." He snaps. "The times I physically hurt you, I was doped up and wasn't thinking straight. The times you've physically hurt me and other people, you were sober, you just weren't taking your medicine. So you can keep saying that I chose drugs over you, but the amount of times you've chosen your pride and, 'I don't need to be on medicine,' over me is just as bad." He says. "If you weren't so damn angry all the time over tiny shit."

"No, no, it's not just her being angry over tiny things. It's you getting with a seventeen year old girl, and placing the responsibilities of a forty-one year old mother on her." She adds and he breathes out. "Your wife has been raising you the past seven years. She's your wife. She's not your mama. And you have been punishing her like she is. Her not wanting you to destroy yourself with drugs doesn't equate to the times your mother wouldn't let you dress the way you wanted to dress, or do the artistically productive things you wanted to do that she couldn't understand that you'd fight about. This woman was seventeen years old. You had no business being twenty-two and seeing a seventeen year old, let alone putting that much weight and expectation on her shoulders and getting angry and saying she didn't appreciate you because she didn't know how to handle it all while every year you'd push further and further." She goes on. "Years of anger and resentment and bitterness towards your mother, all turned loose on a girl who didn't cause any of it, just because she didn't want you running yourself into a grave." She adds, pointedly. "When me and you first started working together to get to the bottom of all of this, you told me that she went from worshipping the ground you walked on, to being an evil demon from hell--do you remember saying that?" 

He hesitantly replies, quietly, "yes." 

"Do you realize that you have done everything in your power to verbally, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually beat the hell out of the very girl who saw you as her God before she was even old enough to really know who God was?" She asks him. "All because the woman who made you feel like you weren't worth the trouble it took to stay around and raise you, was never there to answer for her actions so you started chopping at the next one in line."

"Okay, I get it, I'm fucked up, I fucked her up, I've ruined our marriage, it's all my fault, and she's the innocent angel who was seduced by me and dragged to hell, I get." He stands up. 

"Nikki," Amber starts. 

"Nikki," I say as he steps to the door, "we can't fix this if you--"

"--Yeah, fix this." He flicks me off before slamming the door. 

I grind my teeth and stomp after him, ignoring Amber's warning against it. 

"You are such an asshole!" I bark at him, following him. 

"Wow, I've never heard that one before!" He laughs humorlessly. 

"Nikki, seriously, she got all over me for being mad at you for sleeping with two-hundred girls, you can take her pointing out that you hate me because I remind you--"

"--I don't hate you, Vivian, alright?" He stops, turning to face me. 

"Well, you're really acting like it." I cross my arms. 

"I don't. I'm just pissed that you refuse to accept that I'm not the only problem in this shit show and if you wanna work on us you need to realize that you'r--"

"--Baby," I breathe out, grabbing at his hand and he rubs his forehead, "I know it's my fault, too, but it's just…" I blink back tears, looking away from him. 

"...Just what?" He asks. 

"Embarrassing." I wipe my eyes, sniffling. "It's embarrassing having to sit there, pregnant with another dude's baby, and tell a stranger about how I've abused my husband and people around me." 

"You think it's not embarrassing for me to sort through shooting you and strangling you and still not walking away from drugs?" He asks. "Don't even get me started on having to tell you I've cheated that many fucking times and even had a mistress?" He adds…"I think I've embarrassed myself, and you, more than you've embarrassed yourself and me." 

"I'm pregnant. And it's gone public. And it's not yours. And it's gone public. I think I've won with which one of us has embarrassed the other the most." I mumble. 

"Well, I'm not embarrassed. Those people don't know shit." He tells me, furrowing his brows. 

"I am." I say, trying not to cry again. 

I'm taken back a little when he hugs me, tightly…"Why didn't you tell me about your mom?" I him, my face in his chest, tears rolling down my cheeks. 

"Because I didn't want to bother you with it." He says. 

"I wouldn't have been bothered by it, Nikki." I sniffle, looking up at him. 

He blinks a couple times and breathes out. 

"There's a basket on the closet shelf at home with several of my journals in it." He explains. "Filled with things I didn't want to bother you with." He adds. "I really think if you feel too embarrassed or ashamed, reading those will prove my point that I've been worse than you have." He admits. 

"I'm pregnant--"

"--I know you are." He grabs the sides of my face, looking me in the eyes. "Just read them if you want to, but I say a lot of shit in there I wrote when I was high, so there's your warning." He adds. 

"Are you sure you want me to read them?" I ask. 

"Yeah." 

***I wish he would've said, "no," because I screwed myself over while reading them.***

NIKKI 

I turned into a senseless moron the second she got ahold of my hand, looked at me with watery, pretty eyes, and said, "baby." 

I would've let a train hit me if I knew it would've made her feel less embarrassed and ashamed. I didn't think reading my journals would've made her feel better--just help her gain an understanding that she's the smart one out of the two of us…

If this was one year ago, I'd have her face down on a mattress, making up for our argument. 

But obviously that isn't much of a solution...so I just pull away and smile with my teeth at her the best I can, feeling better when her thumbs graze over my dimples and she smiles, too. 

"I'm sorry I was rude in there." She tells me, next. 

"I'm sorry for being an asshole." I reply, honestly…

"Do you really think I look down on you because you don't believe the same things I do?" 

"Sometimes, I guess." I admit to her. 

"I don't." She tells me. "I never really have." She adds. "I just don't like when you make fun of it or mock it." 

"...Yeah, 'Wild Side' was kinda a dick move…" I tell her and she looks at me. 

"A catchy dick move." She says. "And I like the song, I just wish you wouldn't have made it simply to spite me for the most part." 

"I'll try not to use my powers for evil against you again." I assure her…"But you gotta quit using sex to try to get out of stuff, and I will, too." I say next. "This shit's so hard because we don't talk about stuff, and we never have, and it's just better to go ahead and embarrass ourselves and talk about it instead of trying to fix it with something we can obviously go get from other people--and have gone and gotten from other people."

"And we can't blow up on each other when we do try to talk and work things out." She adds. "So no screaming at each other." 

"And no hitting." I say. 

"Ever." She agrees.

I hold my pinkie out to her and she smiles softly, taking it with hers before I kiss her cheek and pull her to me again.

I didn't know, a week from then, I'd be screaming up a storm from learning about seven fucking miscarriages from '83 to '87 that she didn't tell me about.

[im-not-fine]

So i havent written in over a year so i am ✨rusty✨. I wrote this in like two hours but its kinda cute so like here. Trying to get back in the swing of writing and posting. 

Pairing: Willex

Warnings: None

Summary: Luke thanking Willie for being a great boyfriend to Alex.

°●°●°●°●°●°●°

The last thing that Luke expected to see when he popped into the garage was Alex and Willie slow dancing together to a song he had never heard before. Alex was wearing what he had to be one of Willie's hoodies. Willie was wearing Alex's signature pink hoodie that he had gotten Alex for his birthday 2 years before they died. 

"Oh, hey man," Willie greated Luke with a huge smile. 

"Hey, sorry to interrupt. I was kind of hoping the place was empty so I could write something. Go back to dancing. I'll see you guys later." Luke turned to leave when he felt a hand grab his wrist.

Alex gave him a warm smile, "Go ahead and write. We aren't going to bother you." Alex assured him. 

"You sure? I really can just come back later," Luke said trying to make sure that it was actually fine. He didn't know Willie that well and didn't know how he felt about Luke. 

"We're sure, man," Willie said with a grin. 

Alex moved away and back to willie. Luke walked over and grabbed his notebook off the piano and moved to the couch. 

He watched Alex teaching Willie the box step. The two quietly laughing to themselves when Willie steps on Alex's foot or stumbles a little. 

Luke smiled at the pair, he hasn't seen Alex this happy in what feels like forever.

Luke used the two as inspiration as he wrote lyrics down feeling the magic coursing through him. He was caught off guard when he saw Willie pack up to leave. He gave Alex a quick kiss and moved towards the door. 

"Willie, wait!" Luke rushed out hoping off the couch. They both turned curious. "I want to talk to you before you go, if that's okay with Alex." Luke awkwardly stood their glancing to both of them. 

Alex nodded, relaxing the other men. Luke gave willie a soft smile and lead him out. "what's up?" Willie asked once they were out of earshot of Alex. 

"I just. . . I need to thank you." Luke wrapped his arms around himself not sure what to do. 

"For what?" Willie wondered, cocking his head to the side. 

"For helping Alex. I haven't seen him like this since the '90's and it means so much to me." Willie seemed surprised by luke. "Alex is my best friend and I need you to know I will forever appreciate that you've been helping him with his Anxiety and teaching him about the world." Luke had to hold back his tears but he wasn't doing a good job at it. 

"Luke, I-" 

"Please let me finish," Luke begged and Willie nodded. "Alex has struggled his entire life with who he is, his family, and having to lock himself away so people can't see who he really is. So he can stay safe. He had just started opening up again when we died and had come out to his parents a month before. I want you to know that watching the two of you. . . it made me realize just how important you are to him. That means the world to Reggie, Julie, and I. We owe you so much. If you ever need anything just let us know, okay?" 

Willie had tears welling up in his eyes when he lunged for Luke and tackled him into a hug. "Thank you." Willie said and pulled back wiping his face. "I know it may seem too fast, which is why i haven't told him, but I love him. That is why I was so willing to put my own life at risk if it meant saving his." 

Luke smiled, "I'm so glad you're free from Caleb. Anyway, I guess you should head out. I just wanted you to know that." Luke wiped his cheeks before continuing, "Maybe one day we can all hang out and get to know more about each other. I have a feeling you will be around for a while." 

Willie grinned raising his arms to bump wrists and he waved goodbye before skating down the street. He looked back seeing Alex had joined Luke at the bottom of the driveway and he waved before he decided to go to the beach. 

Luke watched Willie poof away and he turned to Alex, "You two are so cute," he teased.

"Shut up. We're no better than you and Reggie," Alex said bumping shoulders. "What were you two talking about?" 

"Why?" Luke asked with a grin, "Jealous?" He asked, wrapping his arms around Alex and bringing him in close. 

"No, it just seemed like the two of you were crying," Alex pointed out. 

"Maybe a little. I was just thanking him for making you happy." He said. Alex smiled at him before pulling him into a crushing hug. He tucked his head into Luke's neck. 

"I love you, 'Lex." Luke said holding him tighter. 

"I love you, Luke." 

They heard the familiar pop and then groan as Reggie runs at them full force and tackles them into a hug. 

"Group hug?" He asked, not giving them much of a choice. 

"Always." 

Luke kissed his cheek and then buried himself in the hug. That's where Julie finds them when she got home from school. 

[spencers-dria]

Turn for the Better

Someone To Stay Ch. 1

Spencer x fem!reader

Spencer POV:

I open my eyes and glance around the room. It's darker than I remember. I must have fallen asleep reading on the couch again. I glance down and see a pile of books on the rug. Oh yeah...I only made it through about four books this time before I nodded off. I sigh in frustration that I'm awake. Might as well get up I suppose.

I wander into the kitchen and pull open the fridge only to be met with a jar of peanut butter, week old left overs, and a half empty jug of juice. Next.

I try again with the pantry. Almost completely bare. I guess this is what happens when you stop going to the grocery store. I settle on a cup of apple juice and a bag of chips... better than nothing right?

I slump back down onto the couch and pull my green wool blanket over me. As I stare up at my ceiling, as I begin to let my mind wander. But this was dangerous territory. I have to keep my mind occupied, I just have to. So I quickly sit back up and turn the TV to one of my favorite Dr. Who episodes. They say that anxious people re-watch the same shows because they find the familiarity comforting. I could definitely understand the feeling.

It was the weekend, which meant I wasn't called into work. Cases had been slow lately, as we spent quite a bit of time doing paperwork back at the office. Unfortunately for me, this meant less distractions. Distractions were good. Distractions were necessary. They are the only way I make it through the days anymore.

Things had finally returned to normal for me back at work. I was going into the field, and it felt like my coworkers were no longer tiptoeing around me. I hate when they do that, and it bothers me more than any amount of teasing ever could. I'm not so delicate, so easily breakable. Look at everything I have been through, everything I have endured. Yet here I am, still alive, still doing my job. I didn't need to be babied. So it was a relief when I felt the regular rapport I shared with my friends return. They had gone back to the sarcastic remarks and silly nicknames. I was grateful for it. They did, however, continue to check up on me. This was something that I did appreciate. They've seen me go down a dark road once before. I have no intentions of ever returning. I was stronger than that... I think. All I know is I have held on this long without resorting to any unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Coping mechanisms...oh how I wish I had something to make the healing process easier. Having a fairly empty social calendar left me alone often. Normally I would find comfort in the peace and quiet of my solitary apartment, but not quite so much lately. I couldn't very well make plans to go out, and I wouldn't even know how to begin to do that. Who would want to hang out with me right now anyways? I'd be a damper on the fun, and everyone knows it. That's probably why my friends stopped inviting me to the nights at the bar.

There I go again, letting my mind slip into a dark hole of anxiety. Its not a safe place to be. I quickly turn my attention back to the show in front of me, letting it drown out all other thoughts.

The ring of my phone quickly draws my attention away. Finally...another case! I jump up to answer, seeing the name on my screen: Derek Morgan. That's odd. Usually Hotch or Garcia call to notify us of a new case.

"Hello?" I answer, confusion lacing my voice.

"Pretty Boy! Buzz me up!"

Well now I'm even more confused. Derek never comes to my apartment. I quickly press the button letting him into the building and opening my apartment door, waiting for him to arrive.

As he comes up the stairs, he gives me a grin shouting, "Come on man! Get dressed. We're goin' out!"

I roll my eyes and retreat back into the apartment, Derek close behind me.

I sink back onto the couch, my eyes glued to the television as I tune him out.

"Aw c'mon. Don't be like that. How long have you been sitting there watching TV? Have you done anything else today, at all?"

I don't answer, I don't even look at him.

"Oh, let me guess. You've been reading all day, huh?"

"Wow, can't get anything past you huh?" I say dryly, regretting my tone as soon as the words left my mouth.

"Alright that it. You've been cooped up in here too long. Like I said before, we're going out. And I'm not taking no for an answer" he says sternly, raising an eyebrow at me.

I finally look up at him as I roll my eyes.

"You know I can kick your ass right?" Derek smirks.

"Fine" I concede. "Well...where are we going? I don't know what to wear unless you tell me what our plans are."

"Don't pretend you don't wear the same fancy button ups no matter where you end up going."

I let out a small laugh...he's got me there.

"Dinner at Rossi's. I know pretty boys are high maintenance but, hurry up or you'll make us late!" I smile at the nickname. Same old Derek.

Y/N POV:

You let out a sigh of relief as you watched your coworker approach you, ready to receive report. It had been a particularly busy shift, and you were ready to get some much-needed rest. You walked to each patient room, giving Clementine summary of the day and the latest updates on labs and vital signs. You stepped into each room with her, checking one last time to make sure each of your patients was doing well and didn't need anything else before you left. Normally you and Clem would spend some time catching up and making jokes, but she could tell you were tired and needed to be home more than anything. You wished her good luck on her shift as you made your way to the break room. After putting away your stethoscope and the large collection of pens, pencils, and markers you kept in your pockets, you finally headed towards the elevator to leave for the day.

You opened the door to your apartment to be greeted by your dog, Juneau. She was a rescue you adopted a few months back. She still needed to make progress, but she had really warmed up to you and your friends and seemed much more comfortable in her new home. After feeding her dinner and taking her for a short walk, you heated up a quick frozen dinner and sunk into your couch.  Curling up in your blanket, you spent a few minutes browsing through different streaming services only to land on The Office, as usual.  Your mind drifts to what your next few days might consist off. You just so happened to land 4 days off in a row, but you had no idea how you would spend your time. You glanced down at your phone as it lit up.  It was your Uncle Will.

"Hey, whats up!" you chimed, glad to hear from your favorite uncle.

"Hey, (Y/N). I'm actually calling to invite you to a dinner some friends of mine are having tomorrow night. I know your schedule is real busy. But I haven't seen you much since you moved up here to Virginia! I know you haven't met many people here yet, but I think I can help you make a start. "

The kind gesture made you smile. You had always been fairly close with your father's side of the family. He had grown up in Louisiana and met your mother at a college in Texas. You spent your childhood in Houston but frequently visited the Cajun half of your family. Uncle Will had moved away once he fell in love with Jenifer Jareau, his now wife, and you hadn't seem much of him the past few years. But as luck would have it, your nursing career had lead you to a hospital in Fredericksburg, VA. You felt extremely lucky to have family nearby, or else you would have been completely alone. But sometimes you still felt that way, which is why you were so grateful for his offer.

"That actually sounds great! I am off for the next four days, and I didn't really have anything planned. Who will I be meeting at this dinner?"

"Well it's some of JJ's coworkers. They're like a second family to us, and I know they'll be just as welcoming to you. I already told them you moved up here, and they've been begging to meet you."

"Aww I can't wait to see Aunt JJ and my sweet little cousin, Henry! Its been so long since I came to visit you guys. I think Henry was barely two years old the last time I saw him."

"Well we all hope to see you a lot more now that you're here. You're like a daughter to us, Y/N. You are welcome to visit any time you like. I know nursing is a stressful job, and it can take a toll. Its important to have family and friends around you when things get tough." You could hear that this was a genuine offer and you fully planned to take him up on it in the future. Being alone in a new state was taking its toll.

"So where and when should I plan to meet for dinner?"

"I'll text you the address real quick. Everyone is planning to meet around 6. It shouldn't be too far of a drive. It's one of JJ's coworker's houses. David Rossi. He's a real easygoing guy, and he loves cooking for everyone. He loves meeting new people even more, so you should feel right at home!"

"Sounds like a fun time. Thank you again for thinking to invite me. I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Alright boo, talk to you later."

You smiled at the pet name used by the entire Louisiana side of your family. I guess the north had yet to steal his southern roots. You hung up the phone. You finally had plans. It would be nice to talk to someone who wasn't a coworker.  It would also be your first excuse to dress up since moving and starting your new job. Too excited to wait, you jumped up from the couch and began to rifle through your closet for something to wear. You didn't want to be too over or underdressed. You grabbed a black spaghetti strap fit and flare dress and throw it on with some black panty hose, a lightweight maroon cardigan, and some black heels. You snapped a quick photo in the mirror and shoot a text to Aunt JJ.

Y/N: Apparently I'm joining y'all for dinner tomorrow night...is this too much???

Aunt JJ: I heard! I can't wait!

And oh my goodness, no! You look gorgeous! It will be perfect.

Also...Henry is so excited to see you!

You smiled, more confident in your choice. Aunt JJ had great taste. You had only had the chance to meet her in person a couple times, but the two of you had clicked right away and stayed in touch over text and Facetime. Sometimes she felt more like the sister you never had.

Starting to feel the effects of your particularly difficult shift, you start to get ready for bed. You wanted to be well rested for tomorrow. You say goodnight to Juneau and crawl into bed, snuggled under all the blankets. You fall asleep with a smile on your face, with the feeling that things in your life are about to take a turn for the better. You couldn't explain it...but somehow you just knew.

[tundrainafrica]

Hi, after reading about 'why you think Levi and Hange are perfect together', and seeing your reasons quite similar to mine..I just want to ask if you have any opinions on Zutara?

I'm just very curious in what you have to say. It's okay if you don't want to answer.

Thank you for the ask anon! I’d be happy to give you my opinion on Zutara, so happy that you’re gonna be dealing with another long rant with probably a lot of rambling in between. Anyway, Lezzgo.

As always: 

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

So, to give you some background on my love for ATLA, I first watched it in middle school when I came out and yes, I was a basic bitch. So basic, that I would always pair the hottest guy with the first person I saw him have potential sexual tension with, hence came Zutara and in 2013 when AOT came out Rivetra.

I grew up. Things changed but ATLA remains a masterpiece and through the years I have watched it countless times especially when I encounter people who have never watched it because YO, That show is literally one of the best examples of good writing and world building and more importantly, how to write a good ending (which so many people manage to fuck up? I’m looking at u D&D =_=). For anyone who hasn’t watched ATLA please give it a try.

As I grew up, my two favorite pairings became Sokka x Suki and Sokka x Toph. Canon was fine but I would have wanted to see the other ship sail too :/. But yeah, this is about Zutara so will answer that. 

If I ranked my current pairings: Sokka x Suki and Sokka x Toph are tied for first and second and I would put Zutara at third because that pairing still holds a special place in my heart. 

Would I have wanted Zutara to be canon over Kataang? 

Yes. I would. I still would have wholeheartedly picked Zutara over Kataang for so many reasons. (I have not watched the show in a while so a lot of my shit might be inaccurate but feel free to correct me.)

Okay, so first things first, two of the best written characters in the show for me were definitely Zuko and Katara from a character development sense. My favorite character is Toph and Sokka as second but I found Zuko and Katara to be incredibly profound characters with very blatant yet very well written developments which all culminated into one scene: THE ONE IN THE FUCKING CAVERN. 

Their particular hate (or is it tension, can’t think of the right word) for each other was strong but the thing is, the emotion was already there. It’s much harder to build emotional investment (even love) from nothing than to build emotion from what already existed. Katara so easily channelled that hate into actual care because she was so emotionally invested in Zuko as a person already having spent the whole first season being chased by a crazed him. Like yo, from shitting on him in the cavern to suddenly thinking, hey this guy who tried to kill us the past season changed, let me use my very rare magic water on him to help heal his scar. It sounds weird writing it out but personally, I thought that development in the cavern was more well written than the whole Kataang plotline IMO. 

And yeah, they only show you how fucking magical that water is by bringing a dead Aang to life with it at the end of the season. AND SHE WAS PLANNING ON USING IT FOR ZUKO TO HEAL HIS SCAR. Like wow, that’s some emotional investment. 

Okay, I know this can pretty much be justified by Katara being motherly and just an emotional being so let’s not get into that, let’s just get into the potential of this dam ship. Because, as an ATLA fan, personally, the shipping potential of Zuko and Katara was outstanding and I really felt blue balled to see Katara and Aang kiss at the end of it. 

Like literally Kataang was just too easy and the kiss kinda came out of nowhere?

The Katara and Aang romantic plotline was so easy, literally the first time we see any possible attraction between the two was ten episodes in when Aang blushed about the necklace he gave her. Here’s the thing I didn’t really like though, I found Kataang shoddily developed. The plotline between Aang and Katara seemed so one sided. All the way until season 3 with the ember island players episode, I was caught on to believe that the romance between Aang and Katara was one sided then they just bam, kiss at the end of the show

Zutara would have offered more development for both characters.

And anyway, what I really mourn aside from the shoddily developed plotline of Kataang is the lost potential of that damn ship. Zuko brought out an edgy side of Katara. I mean can we appreciate the part in the Southern Raiders episode were Zuko was the only who made the effort to understand what was bothering Katara? 

The scenes between Zuko and Katara had more emotion on them? Literally, Katara had Zuko-exclusive interactions. She said things she’d only say to Zuko. Zuko really brought out a part of her than no other character has?

Like sure people say shit like, Katara cried when Aang died. But I had interpreted a lot of those as motherly. And the creators literally slapped us with a similar Zutara scene at the end of the show? Like Zuko wasn’t dead but Katara was still crying her fucking eyes out.

Also, Katara’s interactions with Aang were not so different from how she interacted with everyone else. They were all motherly. They were all caring. You could have literally slapped another character in most of those scenes and it would have still made fucking sense.

Her actions with Zuko felt more like they were only for Zuko and that’s why I liked it so much. They had so much shit they could have gotten sorted out and it could have culminated into such a good relationship compared to what we got in canon?

Yeah, but after spending months ranting about how Levihan a best friends to lovers relationship became the pinnacle of perfection for me, some people might be wondering why the hell I love the enemy to lovers Zutara. 

Zutara was not unrealistic. It was not toxic. Zuko and Katara are both genuinely good people just working for the betterment of their loved ones and of the world. They had strong feelings they had to get sorted out between them and they had both proven to be characters willing to learn, change and grow which would have made the slow burn potential realistic.

Although Levi and Hange developed from best friends, I am sure before they became best friends they were definitely enemies. If not enemies, they fought and bantered enough with each other at least to see that there were a lot of feelings to be sorted out between them which is one of the reasons I love Levihan so much in the first place. Like people only gain so much patience for love ones if they spend a good amount of time sorting out feelings right? And I really think that the tension needs to exist for a good foundation.

The differences between Zuko and Katara’s characters and the feelings that would have had to be sorted out between them would have been such a good foundation to a good relationship and damn, the ending blue balled me so much. Just writing this brings back the strong feeling of disappointment from ten years ago and I had to go into shipping Sokka and Suki instead. 

Thanks for the question though anon, it was fun to consider this <3