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sillymercury · 4 months

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Make You See My Crazy

AzrielxReader

Warnings: some slightly sexual themes

Word count: 7.9k

It’s split into parts only bc I can’t stop yapping

Summary: Upon joining the inner circle you expected excitement, movement, enterprise. Instead you were faced with mundane, every day was nearly the same and repetitive motion was killing you. It’s hard sneaking around the person you love but it’s inevitable when they’re the one holding you back.

Part 2 to I’m not the Crazy One, She Is

I thought working with the inner circle would be action packed; missions, fighting, or infiltrating other courts. I imagined myself having serious debriefs with Rhysand and far off adventures with Mor or Azriel. But for the first year and some change it’s just been training. Every. Day.

I guess it was to be expected, I had to be thoroughly prepared; even if what I was being prepared for was the impossible.

Some of the scenarios Azriel would throw at me were absolutely off the wall; like being shrunken down and hidden under a walnut casing, being drugged with hallucinogenic cookies that make the enemy seem like friends, being eaten by a shark? It was deluded. I asked him if any of those things ever happened to him, his answer; “Unimportant. It could happen to you.”

I thought I was flying through training with flying colors, and so did Rhysand and Cassian and Nesta and Gwyn and Feyre and Emerie and Morrigan and Amren and pretty much everyone other than Azriel. He always found something to correct or have a question with no right answer. At first it was funny, but then I mastered the sword, dagger, staff, bow and arrow, and my personal favorite nunchucks. Now it’s just condescending.

The time I wasn’t preparing for the impossible I was working on strengthening my powers with Amren and Nesta. I’ve had control of my abilities for the better part of two centuries but using them for combat was different. I had mostly used them to get what I want, adopting strangers on the streets powers to make my night more interesting. Now I was using people’s own powers against them. My abilities expanded beyond what I ever thought, what I had ever attempted. I can connect with at least 3 people, stealing power from multiple sources. I can also connect over a distance but that’s only for people that I know, if I can envision them in my minds eye and envision their powers I can connect from virtually anywhere.

Ive never felt more powerful, more formidable, more like a force to be reckoned with than since I’ve begun working with the inner circle. But for some reason, a reason that edged my last nerve Azriel didn’t see it.

“I can take on anyone in this godsdamned court and hold my own, but it’s always ‘you’re not ready’ ‘you need more training’ ‘what if something terribly unlikely happens?’” I groaned at I threw myself back onto Nesta and Cassian’s shared bed. The female was perched at the top, legs tucked underneath herself, watching me with a sly expression.

“It’s because he likes you,” Nesta teased, a knowing smile making its way onto her face.

I flipped myself over and bit my bottom lip, failing at controlling my smile. “I know,” I said dreamily, I could feel my face heat as I thought of the shadowsinger. “But that’s another thing, he likes me, I know he does. But he’s also distant, not physically but emotionally. He’s holding back from me and I don’t know why. Like go king! Give me nothing!”

Nesta laughed as she slid onto her stomach as well, face close to mine, “That’s just how these Illyrians are. They only want love if it’s torture.”

I rolled my eyes at her words, “What did you read that in a book or something?”

“Or something,” she smirked and I chuckled at response shaking my head. “I can’t help you with your love sick yet sickeningly distant Az but in terms of putting you in the field; talk to Rhys. Tell him that you feel more than ready to have a mission of your own.”

I groaned, sneaking around Az didn’t feel right. I wanted him to see me, see what I’m capable of and want me by his side. “Okay,” I said while I picked at my nails. I peaked at the female and she gave me a pointed look, “Okay!” This time I spoke with more conviction. Standing up I stamped my foot with my hands on my hips “I am going to talk to him,” I turned my head to glance out the window, night had taken over the sky, “tomorrow morning.”

It was Nestas turn to groan, her face fell into the bed as she shook her head, “Your just as bad as Azriel.”

“Come on. It’s late, he’s probably in bed. Plus last time I went to him this late…” I shuddered. Nesta just laughed, obviously recalling the story of me winnowing into Rhys’ office and seeing my high lord and high lady in a… compromising position. “Alright,” I stretched, “I’m going home, don’t wait for me at training. I’ll see Rhys bright and early!”

Her face held mock conviction as she nodded once. I just laughed and leaned over to press a loving kiss to the females head, “Bye!!!!” I sang as I channeled Rhys from afar and winnowed myself home.

I was offered a room at the House of Wind and I stayed there most nights but I still kept my cottage. With the egregious checks Rhys wrote me every month I could afford my own little castle but this was home. A new fae had moved in next door, a very nice one, and the corner was cozier than ever before. Also with Az away, the house of wind felt… colder; I needed the warmth of my space.

I went through my night routine; stripping the leathers I had grown accustomed to wearing, cleaning my hair and skin, and climbing into bed with a shirt that Azriel definitely knew was missing. As I laid I contemplated what I would say to Rhys, he has said he thought I was ready but he still backed up Azriel. I shook my head, deciding I couldn’t wait until morning.

Rhys, I whispered into his mind. Channeling his power I was able to slip past his barriers, something he was truly disturbed to find out I could do. Rhys, I tried again a little louder when he didn’t answer.

Stop using my power against me, he spoke, frustration clear. I hate when you do that.

I giggled into his mind, finding out that mental barriers don’t work against me was a pleasant surprise for me and a source of grief for Rhys. Powers are connected to emotions so the more passionate I made someone the more control I could take over their magic. I need to talk to you.

It can’t wait? I’m… busy. I knew exactly what he meant and shivered as war flash backs played in my brain.

Ewwww, I ragged. I suppose it can. I turned in my bed, making myself comfy.

The silence didn’t last long, Never mind, Nyx just woke. What do you need Y/n?

I paused, a hundred persuasive and graceful ways to ask came to the forefront but I chose succinctness. I want to go on a mission.

He paused, from inside his mind I could hear the wheels turning but out of respect for his privacy I cast my glance away. Waiting until Az is out of town, are you trying to get me in trouble?

No! I just… I’m ready. There was nothing else to say, I’m ready. I know it, Rhys knows it, everyone in this circle knows it; it’s time for me to prove it.

I heard him click his tongue, thinking of how to deny me nicely. I filled his head with my disappointment, my hurt from being consistently passed over. A sigh was heard, and I felt his conviction break.

Okay, I have an idea. See me in the morning.

I didn’t let my excitement slip into his mind but I’m sure he heard it in my voice, Okay, okay! Perfect. I’ll see you!

I disconnected from him and rolled over, giggling into my pillow and kicking lightly under my blanket. I wondered what Rhys had planned, I tried not to let my imagination get me too excited but as I fell into rest depictions of other courts circled my mind.

Azriel landed in the training ring with a swift silence. His leathers were glistening in the sun, clean and shiny. He picked up the habit of cleaning them before returning right around the time you started spending nights in the House of Wind. The thought of you seeing him covered in blood unsettled him, he knew deep down you wouldn’t truly care but he wanted to protect you nonetheless.

His bright eyes scanned the ring; priestesses, Valkyrie’s, and a very loud Cassian controlled the space. No you.

She’s not here, his shadows informed him. Upon further prompting his shadows informed him that you weren’t at home, or with Rhys. His eyebrows knitted with confusion as he continued to glance around. It wouldn’t be the first time you skipped training, he pictured the time he caught you tucked into a high-end dress store when you were meant to be in the ring.

He was prepared to take to the skies, ready to find where you were hiding before his brother cut him off, “Az, honey! Not even a hello?” Cass was walking toward him with a natural ease and he couldn’t help rolling his eyes.

“Hello brother,” was all he offered. His voice was void of emotion but his heart was full, coming home to family was always enjoyable. Especially after spending time in the dark tunnels of the Hewn City, seeing someone with a smile on their face was appreciated.

Cass wrapped strong arms around Az’s shoulders, holding him tight. Azriel just returned the favor with two quick taps on his back under his wings.

“I need to go find Y-“ he didn’t make it through his sentence before Cassian cut him off.

“You need to come see these priestesses,” with an arm around Az’s shoulder he led him further into the ring. “We’ve got six more priestesses picking up swords, we have a little battalion on our hands.”

Az lightly smiled and nodded, letting his brother lead him. He figured you could have the day off, you deserve it. You had been doing amazing, you were a quick learner; swift, light on your feet, and knew how to finish strong. Your fighting coupled with your power, you would be daunting in the felid; when you were ready… when he was ready to let you be ready.

Az knew you would hold your on, connecting to his power you would be the assets he always needed but he wanted to protect you, keep you safe from that part of his life as long as he could.

The better part of the morning and early afternoon were spent with the priestesses. Helping them with their swordsmanship, correcting techniques and giving confidence where it was needed. Cass and Az felt something like pride as the watched the females taking back the power that was stolen from them. With training behind them the boys gathered around the island in the extravagant kitchen, chatting with Emerie, Gwyn, and Nesta about the progress being made. You stayed in the back of Azriel’s mind, not being at training and not showing up as the day pushed on. He tried to keep cool about it, you were sensible and strong and he didn’t need to keep you on a leash, but with training 3 hours behind him his hands started to itch at the lack of your presence. His attentive shadows kept him updated, you still weren’t at your house or any of Rhys’.

“So where’s Y/n?” He asked, trying to remain casual as he leaned forward, bracing his arms on the stone island. Lunch had came and went without a word from you. Gwyn’s eyes widened for a fraction of a a second but Emerie quickly pulled her into conversation pertaining to their upcoming book club. Weird.

Nesta just pursed her lips and shrugged coolly, a light shake of her head accompanying the motion. Cassian on the other hand was staring into the tea he that had suddenly became very interesting. That was weirder. If Cass didn’t know he would’ve came up with some witty remark like, ‘she probably found a hot male with emotional maturity’ or ‘she has your account information, probably running you into the ground.’

He stalked a little closer to his brother, Cass just dipped his head further towards his cup. Az bit his cheek, thanking the mother for his brothers inability to keep a secret or produce a good lie.

Az wrapped a wing around his brothers form and dipped down too, “If you put your nose any further into that cup, you’ll drown.”

“Huh? Oh!” Cass laughed as he stood up straighter. He cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders, trying to gain some semblance of confidence. Nesta gave him a look and he turned away quickly, unfortunately for him he turned directly toward Az. The only thing he could do was offer a nervous smile.

Az returned the favor with a saccharine grin, got him. “Where is she Cass?”

“Who?” He asked dumbly. He clenched his fist to keep from slapping his face, he was under the fire of his brothers gaze and he was choking. Az just raised his eyebrows and gave him a pointed look. “Oh, Y/n. Pfft I don’t-“ he tried to do what Nesta did, pout his lips and shrug coolly. He didn’t look cool. “I don’t know. Where is she Nesta?” His voice suddenly carried a faux confusion as he turned to his mate, attempting to take attention off of himself.

Nesta glared, “I. Don’t. Know,” she bit out through gritted teeth. Cass gulped, knowing no matter how this ended he was screwed. He just nodded, humming at her before turning to Az, offering up another lame shrug.

Az looked between the two for a second before glancing over at the other two fae. Their conversation had stopped to take in the scene, at the instant of Azriel’s eyes they quickly turned away and began speaking again.

Az just nodded, the picture of calm. Cassian gulped yet again, he knew he was the weakest link and that Azriel would press him specifically for information. Cassian’s fears were confirmed when the sick smile returned to Az’s face and a firm hand was placed on his shoulder. “Cassian,” Az’s voice was low, slow, “Where is she?” The calmness and gentleness of his words sent a shiver down Cassian’s spine.

“I don’t know, truly,” he was folding. Nesta shook her head before placing it in the arms that were folded across the counter. “She was begging and she wouldn’t let up. Said she was super determined and no wasn’t a viable answer so Rhys caved, sent her on a mission this morning.”

“Good gods,” slipped from Nestas lips. Hand braced on her shaking forehead as she looked into the distance, questioning the mother.

“What?” Az’s grip turned to iron and his brother cringed at the force. He looked between the four in the kitchen, everyone knew. Everyone knew and wanted to keep it from him, if he wasn’t losing his mind he might feel bad.

Nothing else was said, there was nothing left to say, Azriel’s pace was rushed as he pushed through the balcony doors and into the sky.

“Azriel,” Rhys breathed. If the frustration wasn’t clear in his voice, it showed in the way his hands slid down his face.

“Rhys,” he pressed, “I know I just- she just needs more time.” Rhys shook his head at his brothers words, disagreeing. He knew if it were up to Az you would never leave the safety of Velaris. “How would you feel if it was Feyre?” Az’s pushing earned him a growl.

“If you remember, it was Feyre. I had to let her fight far before she was ready. Even so, Y/n is leagues ahead of Feyre.” Az shook his head now, desperately trying to find the words to convince his brother. “If we keep her stagnant any longer the poor female will become destitute.” Azwas quickly becoming hysterical, you meant so much to him and putting you in the line of fire… Hot angry tears pooled on his bottom lash despite his best efforts to keep them at bay, continuing to shake his head as he began clenching his fist. He was fighting so desperately to take control of this situation but Rhys was hard headed and determined to try out his new toy.

“It’s not going to be easy, it will never be easy dealing with the possibility of your mate getting hurt. But if you’re just going to coddle her then what’s the point of bringing her into this circle? She is smart, and strong, let her prove it.”

Az let out a chopped breath. It was his turn to bring his hands to his face, shamefully hiding the tears Rhys was already aware of. He didn’t speak for a moment, pondering. When he brought her in he had to admit he didn’t think of this. He saw it as an excuse to have her close, bring her into the family and keep her around. But after getting close to her, learning her, loving her, he didn’t care anymore. He wanted to keep her hidden from the dark world he had come to know so well. He wished she was offered a different position even though her powers were an amazing defensive and offensive asset; he never wanted to use it.

He shook his head one more time, “I just need more time.” His pleading voice broke and Rhys softened at the sound. All he’s ever wanted for his brother was to feel that earth shattering love like the one he felt for Feyre. How could he tell him those fears were invalid? That they don’t have basis? They’re wrong? He couldn’t and when Az let out one more shaky, “Please, brother,” he couldn’t say no.

Azriel landed in front of the river house with a thud, no shadowy elegance and no preternatural silence. His heightened emotions pushed all of that out of the way to make room for his task; find Rhys, kill Rhys.

He stomped through the house, making his presence and his anger known. He didn’t bother to knock on Rhys’ office door, just blowing it wide open. His high lord sat in his large leather chair while his high lady was perched on the edge of the desk, engaged in loving conversation.

The slamming doors caught their attention as Azriel stopped short of Rhys’ desk, growling his name.

“I figured you’d show up here soon enough, do you have your mission report?” Rhys was calm as he leaned back in his chair, observing Azriel and his pristine leathers and contorted face. Az wanted to stick his eyes and shake Rhys until his head fell off.

“You know that’s not why I’m here,” his voice was low as he struggled to form a sentence and not a fist.

“Oh?” Rhys feigned innocence and Azriel’s grip slipped, fists taking place at his side. “Why are you here then brother?”

A low scoff made its way out, Azriel had to look away to collect the parts of him he could. He didn’t want to play this stupid back and forth game, he wanted to find you. Blowing up on Rhys wouldn’t do anything good for him so he bit out his next words, “My mate. Where is she?”

“Ah, yes.” Rhys just nodded as he continued to look Azriel up and down, sizing how far he could push him. Feyre on the side held a confused face as she tried to decipher the situation. Azriel’s mate? How would Rhys know where she is? A low growl reverberated through Az and his brother just clicked his tongue in response. “She’s fine Az, please-“

Azriel cut him off, walking closer to brace his hands on the desk, “I told you she wasn’t ready. She needed more time to-“

It was Azriel’s turn to get cut off as he held up a hand, “No. You said you weren’t ready. You said you needed time. I gave you time, that times up.”

Az growled again, hands gripping the desk with so much force the wood under his hands groaned. His eyes were wild and his face displayed so much fury Feyre thought he might jump over it and tear into Rhys. “Az…” she said tentatively.

“Did you know?” He looked at her accusingly, not being able to hold his rage back from her. Her eyes widened and she brought a hand to her heart, her hair slid over her shoulder as she shook it back and forth.

“Know what Az? You found your mate? That’s amazing, I-“ Feyre tried to lighten the mood, choosing to focus on the good parts of the conversation.

Az rolled his eyes away from her and back to his brother. “Yes, I did find her.” His eyes held his brothers in challenge, Rhys didn’t back down but Az would either. “It’s a shame though, Rhys seems adamant on getting her killed.” He leaned in slightly, baring his teeth on the last word.

The thought of you out there, alone, in a potentially dangerous situation made his brain fog. His whole body twitched; desperate to tear apart the entirety of Pyrthian until he found you. Deep down he knew his feelings were irrational, Rhys wouldn’t send you somewhere dangerous for your first mission, solo to boot. He knew that you were fierce in your fighting technique. He knew that the reservoir of powers you could access made you one of, if not the most, powerful fae in Pyrthian. He knew you didn’t need him to protect or guard you and that you wanted this. Knowing all of those things doesn’t make it any easier though.

“She’s not- Az please,” Rhys pinched the bridge of his nose and screwed his eyes shut, trying to will away the headache his brother was giving him. “Feyre, baby, give us a moment.”

She just nodded, eyes still examining Az as if she’d find her answer written on his face. She leaned into the kiss Rhys placed on her forehead before moseying out of the office. Rhys pushed himself away from the desk and to the large couch in his office. He grabbed two glasses and the decanter off the liquor cart before sitting down. Az watched silently as he poured two neat glasses of whiskey and sipped one while offering the other.

When Az didn’t move he sat the other glass down and stared at it before saying, “She’s in no danger brother. But you might want to have a drink before I tell you where she is.”

Az’s hands returned to fists and he just stared, zeroed in on Rhys like a deadly predator. Rhys rolled his eyes and gestured to the spot on the couch next time, insinuating he wouldn’t speak until Az at least sat down. Begrudgingly he followed his brothers instructions though sitting down didn’t display any comfort as he was still rigid.

Rhys just watched his brother, looking at him as if the right way to inform him of his mate’s whereabouts would be written on his skin somewhere. The stare only unnerved Az, his skin started to prickle at the attention he was receiving and his vague patience was slipping.

He took a deep breath before grabbing the drink, downing it in one go. It didn’t help his nerves but he let out a sigh anyway before turning back, “Where is she?” His voice was calmer now, the anger was replaced with desperation, exhaustion.

Rhys let out a sigh too, leaning back he stared for a moment longer. “She’s in the day court, where she will remain for the next month and a half.” Az’s eyes widened and with furrowed eyebrows he insisted Rhys go on, “After that she will spend a month and a half in dawn, then winter, summer, and possibly autumn. I’ve spoken with Eris but I’m not entirely sure if we’ll be able to slip her in past Beron.”

Az shook his head, trying to grasp the information being given to him. “Wait you sent her through the courts? For the next 8 months? Why?”

“More training,” he leveled a look at Az whose face still displayed confusion. “Apparently what we’re doing here isn’t enough, so she will train with our closest allies. Learn all new powers along the way and techniques even we don’t have. By the time she comes back, even you will think she’s ready.”

Azriel shot up, hands coming to slide down his face has he passed around the low table. You were gone? For potentially 7.5 months? This was wrong, so so wrong. You should be here, by his side where he can see to it that you get the training you need. The thought of someone else, potentially another male, training you… his skin felt hot to the touch.

“Rhys! I don’t- what do you mean?” He stopped pacing in front of his brother, he wanted to scream, tear him a new one but he felt too manic to focus on that now. “So she’s just gone? For months?! I don’t- how could you do this!”

Rhys poured Az another glass as he spoke, “What was I supposed to do Az? You were safe guarding her to the point it was damn near suffocating. She just wanted to do something, to feel like her time was productive-“

“It was productive!” Az cut in, “She was with me! I was training her! Sending her away like that- what if someone finds about her powers? Do you know what other courts would do to get their hands on her?!”

“Yes Az,” Rhys spoke in a tried tone, being able to tell this conversation wasn’t going to cool down anytime soon. “She knows, she’s safe guarding her powers. She won’t use them in training, just learning other courts techniques and studying their powers to bring back here and implement.”

Az scoffed and shook his head, resuming his pacing. He wasn’t convinced, there was worry and anger, and longing taking up all the space for rationality. “She just wanted to get out there, you know she’s never left Velaris?”

Az’s eyes flew to Rhys’ at the question. “Of course I know,” he bit out. He knew everything about you, everything you were willing to offer him. Late nights spent in your room- at a respectful distance- gave way to room for life stories. You indulged in your early life, family, friends, love history, hobbies, likes and dislikes. He kept it all stored away in meticulous detail, committing everything you’ve ever said to him in perfect memory. You vulnerability inspired him, encouraged him to do the same and bare his soul to you. He told you everything, except for one, or maybe two things. He was safe guarding the bond, not wanting it to influence your decision. He wanted you to choose him because you wanted to choose him, not because you thought you had too.

Rhys hummed, nodding. “Well, she wasn’t going to stop until I gave her something. She’s safe and she’s happy and she’ll be back in no time.”

Azriel rolled his eyes at his brothers hypocrisy, he would be beside himself if Feyre left for that long. He moved toward the door with determination, he was going to find you. He needed to tell you that he was sorry, you didn’t have to run or sneak behind his back. He would tell you what he knew was true and promise not to hold you back anymore. “No you won’t,” Rhys cleaved through his thoughts. “One visitation permit was issued from the courts, Im sure they wouldn’t appreciate my spy sleuthing around. Not to mention how she’d feel about it.”

Az growled at that, cutting his brother a loathsome glare before slamming the doors once again behind him. Rhys just sighed, leaning back and polishing off the drink Az didn’t finish.

No time, that was bullshit. The months passed like years and Azriel swears he could’ve lived multiple lives in the time you were gone. He wasn’t himself, out of step, out of sync. It was kinda crazy, he lived so long without you and after just a few hours of knowing you were gone he reverted to a shell of himself.

Some days he barely tried to train, moving through the sessions like a phantom. Other days he laid his hurt bare, taking it out on Cassian until his brother had to tell him ‘no more.’

Work wasn’t able to distract him, he had been on one mission since your departure. Rhys refused to let him go, claiming he was too frazzled to focused. Despite knowing its truth Az tried to disagree, he ended up losing train of thought half way through the conversation, proving Rhys’ point.

You had sent letters, 3 came at least twice a month. One to Rhys, giving updates on where she was and how training was going. One to Nesta, the two had grown close in her time training with the inner circle. One to Azriel, it was similar to Rhys’, she was giving life updates and telling him wonderful stories. Azriel wanted to answer, truly, but the longer he thought the more he realized he had nothing to say. You were having so much fun, meeting wonderful people, exploring new powers, and seeing Pyrthian like you always wanted. He was ashamed by the fact that if it was up to him, you wouldn’t have gone. He sat down to write how sorry he was, how excited for you he was, how he wished he could see it all with you but his letters only made it as far as the fire. He was convinced you were angry with him, that’s why you left while he was gone. He read and reread every letter so much they were a crumpled mess in his hands, some terrible part of him convinced him they were pity letters. His fears were “confirmed” when his letters stopped halfway through the third month.

He was a bit surprised when around the middle of the fourth month he felt talons tapping on his mental shield, far more polite that Rhys has ever been. He opened his shield just enough to let you in, not far enough for anything other than communication.

Hi Azriel, your voice rang through him like a church bell. He shivered at the pleasant invasion, unwittingly letting the rest of his walls down from you. His subconscious wanted you everywhere, invading every part of him, committing all of him to memory.

Hello, Y/n. He hated how timid his voice sounded. But he couldn’t help it, talking to you made him nervous, especially after ghosting your letters.

He heard you sigh into his mind and he couldn’t help himself but duplicate the sound. Hearing your voice, feeling your essence, provided much needed relief.

I’ve missed you, he spoke in his mind. The words came out as a soft whisper, tentative and unsure.

Yea? I could tell by the way you ignored all my letters. He cringed at your words, your tone was joking but he didn’t miss the thinly veiled frustration. He was silent; not sure how to respond or if he even could. His remorse flooded his head and you surely caught on, based on the way you quickly spoke again. I’m sorry, shouldn’t have-

No, he cut you off. You’re right, I should’ve responded. I just wasn’t- I didn’t know what to say. I was- I still am ashamed.

It was your turn to be silent. If he stilled his mind he swears he could feel you nodding. Your questioning voice came through, You think I shouldn’t have gone?

I thought that. But I’ve read your letters, the ones to me and the ones Rhys gave me access too. Your progress is… you couldn’t have achieved what you are now if I kept you hidden.

You were silent, Azriel could feel the contemplation. After a couple beats you spoke again. I’m sorry.

Don’t apologize, ever.

You waited before speaking again, But I am sorry. It felt wrong leaving the way I did, like I was sneaking behind your back. I didn’t even get to tell you goodbye.

Azriel chuckled lightly out loud. It’s a good thing though, I probably wouldn’t have let you go.

Oh yeah? You laugh. What would you have done? Restrain me? Your voice held a playful edge that excited something in Azriel. The lower end of his stomach began to twist and he had to control himself with you still in his mind.

It was his shadows that spoke next, let her see. Their encouragement drew back the curtain of self control and he opened his mind deeper for you. He let you into the fantasies of restraining you with his shadows. Covering your vision with wisps of darkness, blurring your senses to ensure touch was heightened.

He showed you how he would be slow, take his time with you. How he would push your body to absolute extremities, take you to your peak over and over before cradling your exhausted body. You were silent as you witnessed his eagerness, his willingness to give you all the pleasure your body could handle. He heard you let loose a breath, If I knew that’s what you’d do to me I would’ve left a lot sooner.

A dry chuckle left Az’s lips, Then perhaps your punishment should be to withhold such treatment. His smirk was evident in his voice, and you gasped out a laugh at the mention of what had become an inside joke.

You’re a tease! You shrieked down the mental bond and Azriel laughed freely.

Az stayed connected with you late into the night, speaking of pretty much anything under the sun, or in this case the moon. He talked until your voice slowed down and became soft hums of acknowledgment. Eventually your presence in his mind was peaceful, calm; the proof of your sleep

3 weeks.

10 days.

4 hours.

15 minutes.

The time that had dragged its feet through sand was now moving at a lively pace. It was by no means quick, you had still taken your time coming back. But with daily mental communication, daily mental flirtation, having only minutes between the two of you Azriel felt his skin buzz. His wings moved on their own, display his anticipation for the world.

Az had woken up early… earlier than usual. The sun was teasing the horizon, threatening to spill its light across the mostly sleeping city. Azriel couldn’t help the coy smile as he greeted the morning happily. Little tasks had kept his body busy as his brain counted down the minutes of your arrival. Shower, train, shower again, morning flight, cleaning, bureaucratic busy work, trip to the shops, following Cassian around for a couple hours. Azriel couldn’t sit down, if he did his leg would bounce and he would be up again in seconds.

But here he was, smoothing the already smooth leathers as he waited “casually” in the greeting room of the river house. He had cleaned up your room in the HoW when you left but he took to dusting it, changing your sheets, and adding fresh and fragrant flowers to liven up the space.

5 minutes, his shadows whispered as they danced around his ears. They reflected their masters eagerness, also unable to sit still and be patient.

You hadn’t connected with him today, most likely too busy getting your affairs in order. Azriel didn’t mind though, it added to his anticipation. For the first time in what could be ever he felt like a kid, bouncing around the room with an insatiable excitement brewing below.

Azriel rubbed his rough hands together and made eye contact with his shoes, a heavy breath left his lips and suddenly it felt stagnant. Everything stopped.

Seconds turned to hours as his head turned upwards. For a moment everything stoped, the world was lost to Azriel as he finally saw you. The sounds of the room became slow and muffled and the only sound was a soft song. A light airy melody, a beautiful blend of bells and chimes. A sweet sound made only by your presence.

The air finally left his mouth and the world returned to normal, time picked up and everything was moving again. The shadows that carried you in dissipated and the ground shook with the bellows of his family.

Cassian was first to reach you, spinning you around like a doll. He barely has time to put you down before Nesta latched on and mumbled something only you could hear. Feyre greeted you with a smile and open arms, Rhys extended a hand that you took firmly. Elaine and Amren gave welcome to your presence and suddenly it was Arziel’s turn. Even his shadows beat him to you, circling every inch- noting every tiny change within you, all the things that didn’t show though your voice in his mind every night. The lines created from muscle, the natural lightness added to your hair that only comes from saltwater and direct sunlight, the clear and unmistakable scent of raw power. Every little thing was reported back to him, the way each minuscule movement of yours was silent, the advanced lightness of each step that brought you closer, the disciplined posture you now carried. Then there was the perceptive glint in your eye, one that seemed to bore into his skin, one that traced every cell and tendon in his biology; tracking his synapses and learning his bones. One that tore apart his soul and memorized it.

“Azriel,” Your greeting was clean and simple; and it almost brought him to his knees. He steadied himself with a breath and clenched the fists that wanted to reach for you. Not yet. Not here.

“Welcome home Y/n,” all the courage that made a warrior was used as he held your eyes. You were still you, still the same female he devoted each waking thought to. But you now held an edge, a deadly aura that put even him off. “I can’t wait to see what you’ve learned.”

You smiled, all of your venom hidden behind perfect, pearly structures. “I can’t wait to show you.”

Your long awaited return was celebrated with dinner, drinks, and the promise of putting your skills to the test at first light. You celebrated and mingled, held your drink dutifully but didn’t take a single sip. Your months of watching your own back and the crippling paranoia that you would be made kept you from inebriation. Not to mention you wanted to be at your best when you displayed yourself. You casually turned in early, leaving the festivities to the ones who actually indulged. You took to setting your room up in a way only self preservation would justify. Weapons were hidden all around your space, a habit from being in enemy territory with no back up. You had to be ready for anything at any time, being caught off guard would be the difference between life and death. Once you felt confident in your new arrangements you climbed into bed, channeling Azriel’s shadows to watch you in your sleep.

I awoke before the sun, prepping myself in fighting leathers and a clean hairstyle. My go bag was packed and placed at the foot of the bed where it could be grabbed on the way out. It was full of all the weapons I had grown accustomed to using. Most of it was basic, knives, sabers, and folding spears. There were also more elaborate weapons unique to the courts I spent time in; light directors, specific for centralizing the power of light from the day court. Loch detonators, a device that turns powered water into intense explosives. The collection was impressive but most of it would prove to be useless today, I planned on taking the boys in hand-to-hand combat.

I pushed open the window of my room before climbing out. Scaling the monstrous house, I jumped and grabbed all the edges that would lead me to the roof. The roof was hipped into a long line, on that I ascend and landed at the apex. One foot balanced on the line while the other crossed over my bent knee. My hands stretched out on either side, keeping my center of gravity directly over the line.

The cold dusk air heightened every sense as I let loose. Thoughts escaped as my perfectly poised body found peace, my steady breath the only tether to the earth. With my mind clear and body at ease I was able to connect with every part of myself, honing every part of me for battle. After an hour of meditation I stood up and began to move. To any onlooker it would look like I’m dancing on the roof not partaking in an ancient practice of energetic redirection. I came across the art of Tai Chi in my time spent in the summer court, a friend I had made took me to her village on the southern edge and though it is a closed practice one of the elders agreed to teach the basics. I had also managed to find some scrolls on the subject in Helion’s vast library and continued my training. Now it was part of my daily exercise; balance my mind, body, and energy.

Nearly two hours and passed before I left the roof, opting to winnow in and grab my bag before making my way to the training ring. Cassian and Az were there, preparing for the day with calisthenics.

“Good morning angel,” Cassian greeted with the trademark smile that comes before saying something stupid. “Done dancing on the roof?”

I looked to your feet as a smile creeped onto my face, “Yea, ready to dance with you now.”

“Ohh, we’ll see about that,” Cassian’s face was smug but I kept smiling nonetheless. It made sense, he had no reason not to be. He’s perfectly unaware of what I’ve learned and what I’ve taught myself. Azriel on the other had looked calculating, like he was trying to note all the ways I’ve changed. His gaze was piercing, like he could figure out all I’ve learned just by looking at me. He knows all of my experiences, everywhere I was at any given time but my training was not something we had discussed in detail.

“What about you Azriel?” I tilted your head as I looked him up and down. Blatant and greedy, not even trying to hide my hunger. He had opted to train shirtless this morning, something whispered that it was a subtly attempt to distract me. “You ready to dance with me?”

Azriel smirked, stalking closer as he continued to tape his knuckles. “Hmph,” he matched my actions, eyes taking over the way your lean body contorted under my leathers. “I was born ready for you.”

I felt my body rise a hundred degrees and his words and gaze, I wanted to jump on him the same way I did in our shared visions. But I kept my composure, he was trying to rile me up. “I sure hope you mean that.” one finger made its way to his arm, tracing the tattoos there until it met the glove on his hand. I grabbed his hand and brought it to your lips, kissing his knuckles in a light teasing fashion. His nostrils flared as I looked up at him through l lashes. “Because Id want nothing more than a go at you.”

He opened his mouth but was cut off by his brother, “Good morning! I hope you’re all ready because I know I am.” Rhys strolled over with Feyre, Amren, and Mor in tow. He rubbed his hands together in a gesture that showed excitement before shoving them in his pockets.

“I hope you’re ready for a show,” Cass spoke as he stretched one last time, “Y/n plans to dance.” I just smiled in response, Rhys raised a brow and his eyes shone. He was the one receiving daily briefings. I had connected with him and let him see some of my work through my eyes. Some. The rest I kept safeguarded, waiting until this moment to show them off. Since I were essentially stealing the powers I was exposed to I didn’t have anyone to train me in their use, normally that would put me at a disadvantage but Rhys changed my outlook on that. Since I hadn’t been taught how to use them I was never put in a box, never limited to what everyone else thought was possible. I could experiment with the powers I encountered, come up with my own ways to use them, and create different techniques than those normally seen. The magic belonged to others but when I used them, the powers were wholly mine.

“Okay Y/n, who do you want to dance with first? Cassian or Azriel?” Rhys asked, the knowingly look on his face was obvious. He knew what I would say, and I wasn’t in the mood to disappoint.

“Aww, I can’t have both?” I pouted lightly, turning from Rhys to the other parts of the trio, “I’ve always wanted to take on brothers.” The tease in my voice lit a double meaning behind the words. Cass snorted and Az just ducked his head and shook it side to side, even so I could still see the small smile on his lips.

“Well what are we waiting for?” Cass said clasping his hands, “I’m in the wish granting business sweetheart.” I just nodded simply as I pursed my lips, looking them up and down once more before grabbing my bag and heading to the far end of the ring. As I was wrapping my own knuckles Nesta came over with a water bottle meant for me.

“Thanks honey,” I smiled as I took the water. “Promise you won’t hate me if I bang your mate up a bit?”

Nesta laughed, “Hate you? Baby I’ll thank you. That male needs humbled.” We both chuckled at that statement as I finished with my hands. “What weapon are you going to use?” Nesta asked as I shuffled around my bag. I hummed before pulling out a small fan and sheath to keep it in. The fan looked like any other handheld fan except instead of fabric it was made of metal that weren’t fixed, meaning they could move if struck. “This,” I smiled, strapping the fan to the outside of my thigh.

“Just that?” Nesta questioned, I nodded in response. Honestly it was a lie, I had no plans to use the fan, at least not as a weapon. I pulled it for show, it would be decoy used to distract and throw off the boys. The fan wasn’t wholly useless though, I picked up different ways to turn it into a weapon when wielded skillfully. It would be too cocky to walk in there with absolutely nothing and as much as I wanted to, I knew Cass wouldn’t recover from the ego hit he would take if I acted like I knew I could beat him with my bare hands; even if that was the plan. She tilted her head before humming as well, “What exactly did you learn out there?”

I just smiled, “I can show you better than I can tell you.” I winking before turning away from her, facing the ring to show that I was ready. I heard a whoop sound come from my friend as she made her way over to join the rest of the peanut gallery.

Cassian had chosen twin broad swords, something that would look comical in the hands of a human looked normal with the giant fae. Az had nothing in his hands but there were multiple daggers lining his pants, still no shirt. I would make sure he regretted that.

“Alright,” Rhys said bringing attention to himself “no need for idle chatter or pointless speeches, begin!”

And with that I stepped completely into the ring, focus trained on the warriors in front of me as the rest of the world disappeared. I couldn’t stop the dangerous smirk that snuck onto my lips, “Let’s dance.”

A/n: don’t hate me!!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to update. I was waking up at 12 then working from 3-11 and crashing when I got home. I work on a crisis unit so that shit is madddd draining, emotionally and physically. I felt like I had nothing left to put into my writing :/ but I finally switched to 3rd shift and for nearly my entire shift I don’t have to do anything but be there so I can write at work and I have more of my day open to relax and recharge. I’m sorry I had to split this into 3 parts but this just got so long and if I would’ve kept writing it would’ve straight up been a book. But I promise part 3 will not take as long to come out. Maybe not this weekend but soon! Anyways if you made it this far I LOVE YOU, thank you so much for giving me and my stories your time :)

Masterlist

#acotar #acomaf #acosf #acowar #azriel #acotar azriel #azriel fic #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x yn #azriel fanfiction #azriel x reader #azriel spymaster #acofas #azriel fanfic #azriel one shot #acotar fanfic

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gabyun · 8 months

Text

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ he likes me, he likes me not. - n.riki

pairing - niki x fem! reader

genre - highschool! au , bestfriends to lovers , fluffy fluff, teenage love, awkwardness in some parts, amusement park date

warnings - none besides like a few swear words😭 AND ITS VERY CHEESY

summary - you and niki hangout consistently, multiple times a week. the air started to feel different between you two, but both of you just tried to ignore it. niki, unfortunately wasn’t able to ignore it so easily. he felt butterflies from such little things you would do, little things you would say. he lately had a fuzzy feeling around you, but he just kept telling himself ` i don’t like her, we’re just too close. i don’t like her, i don’t like her, i don’t like her. or do i? `

wc - 2.7k

a/n - ahh this is my first time even writing something like this, i hope its not cringe or anything and i hope it doesnt seem way too rushed. i’ve been wanting to write stuff for awhile now and i finally had the chance to so i hope this came out good 😽 lmk if theres anything i should keep in mind for the next one !! i also finished this at like 2am so its not entirely proofread but definitely give me advice 🙏(also this entire time ive been listening to ur so pretty by the wasia project so this is like the background song of this story.)

you and riki were inseparable. firstly, you guys had almost every class together so it truly added onto the fact that you both were rarely seen without each other. secondly, you both lived on the same street since second grade meaning you two walked home together everyday. so, obviously people had speculated that there was something between you both. but, you guys consistently turned the idea down. it was now last period, english class. you guys inevitably sat beside each other. " hey niki " you began. "hm? whats up?" he perked up after having his head laying down on his desk. "do you wanna stop at the convenience store before we head home? im kinda hungry and both of our parents dont get home until 6pm." you asked. "hell yeah i do!" he looked up at you excitedly. "but you have to pay this time. i didnt bring any money" "ugh, fine" you sulked. "y/n i literally payed last time." you shot him a dirty look. "fine. but dont get $30 worth of snacks like that one time." "yeah yeah whatever.."

the bell rang, and it was time to go home. you and niki excitedly walked to the convenience store you both previously mentioned. you walked up to the door, opening it and jokingly saying "ladies first" to niki. "tch" he said sassily, rolling his eyes. the door chimed whilst being opened, and the employee greeted you both. you guys walked around the snack isle, the brightly coloured drinks illuminating certain sections of the store. one in particular caught your eye, so you walked over and grabbed it "i cant believe you dont like milkis." you said. "there are way better drinks y/n. " "yeah? like what." you challenged him. "um, anything besides milkis?" he sarcastically smiled. you walked over toward the icecream bin, selecting your favourite one. "niki, u want ice cream? they have ur favourite." you reached in deeper to grab it. "yeah sure. thatll be nice on a day like this" "ugh, i don’t want winter to come.. it’ll be so cold!" you shuttered. "you’ll survive y/n" niki sighed. you walked up to the checkout counter with niki, placing your items down. "that’ll be $14!" the older, but sweet looking woman said. "thats much less then last time." you pulled out your wallet, giving her the money. you both walked out, and you sat down on the concrete steps next to the store windows. niki followed, sitting right next to you. you never noticed before, but he smells good. like a mix of shampoo and some sort of cologne. you never knew he wore cologne. you guys simultaneously unwrapped the ice cream together, and started indulging in the sweet snack. "this is so good!" you said. "i bet mines better." niki remarked. "let me try yours." he put his ice cream in-front of your mouth, and let you take a bite. "mmh.. its alright.. niki i just think my tastes are better then yours" you shrugged playfully. your relationship was always playful. you guys were constantly teasing each other, and it felt good. it felt good to be so close to someone. as you guys continued, he looked over at you. the lights of the convenience store lit up the back of your body as the sun started setting earlier due to it getting slightly colder, making your hair glisten. he never noticed how pretty your hair looked under the bright lights. you both finished up, starting to get ready to finish your walk home. as you guys cleaned up, you looked over toward his face. you giggled, reaching your hand towards his mouth. "you’ve always been such a messy eater." his eyes widened, a hint of pink slightly covering his cheeks. "i-i can clean my own face.." "oh. sorry niki." you trailed off, confused. this wasn’t your first time cleaning off his face yet to him it felt different. he felt an unusual feeling, his heart fluttered and his stomach felt warm as his face did too. throughout this whole interaction, the convenience store lady observed quietly through the window. "i miss my high school years." she sighed.

late summer turned into fall, and fall turned into winter. nikis feelings just kept getting harder and harder to ignore. niki was in the change room after gym class with his friends. "are you sure you dont have feelings for y/n?" his friend jay asked. he hesitated momentarily. "yes. i am sure.. why are you asking..?" he questioned, worriedly. "so you wont care if i ask her to go out with me?" niki looked shocked by his comment. "you dont even know her.. why would you wanna ask her out." he said, annoyed. "niki, she is really beautiful. im sure theres a lot of other guys who would love to get a chance with her." his other friend heeseung added. "still! y/n doesnt need to be dating shitty guys like you. she deserves someone who will treat her right.. especially not you guys." he huffed, even more annoyed. "and i dont like her." jay and heeseung shrugged in defeat. "or do you?" jay added. "i dont.." niki trailed off, thinking about it more. "whatever you say, buddy." heeseung said, sarcastically. niki finished changing quickly, grabbing his bag and leaving for his next class. once the door shut, jay and heeseung and a few other boys began talking "he definitely has feelings for her." "yeah, 100%" "i don’t doubt that" "its getting extremely obvious" "mhm"

he stood outside your house, waiting for you to come out so you both could get headed to school. he oddly felt nervous. you opened the door, and waved, cutely. you were wearing a scarf, as niki was also. you both had big puffy jackets. you walked towards him. "lets go! i dont wanna be late again." he took in your beauty. "mhm" he answered, quietly. as you were walking, you offered him your other earphone. you guys had similar music tastes. ‘somethin stupid’ by frank sintara had begun to play. "i love this song." you said, softly. "yeah. it is really nice." he breathed out air, the cold made it look like smoke. you opened your pocket mirror, adjusting your hair. "do i look good? i had such a bad hair day yesterday." niki turned to you, not surprised by your question, but hes never truly seen you that way before. hes always known you’re pretty, but he never actually felt that way. "you look beautiful. you are beautiful." he said. "w-what?" you said, completely taken aback. he’s obviously complimented you before, but about your looks more specifically? this time, it really sounded like he meant it. you looked away from your pocket mirror, facing him. he looked at you with a twinkle in his eyes. you both stood there for a couple seconds more. "n-nothing.. forget i even said anything." he looked down at his feet. you could practically feel his embarrassment radiating off of him. you guys continued walking, listening to your shared playlist. a couple minutes go by and you began to speak. "thank you, niki." "hm?" "thank you. for calling me beautiful." you looked down at your feet, smiling. "oh.. don’t worry about it." he rubbed the back of his neck. both of your feelings were becoming more and more apparent as the days went on.

you were laying in bed, reading your favourite book with a comforting lamp on. you were under your fluffy blanket, and your curtains flowed softly as your window was the slightest bit open. you felt the buzz go off on your phone sitting next to you.

riks : omg y/n

you : omg niki

riks : remember that amusement park we mentioned wanting to go to for awhile?

you : yes ofc i remember?!?

riks : WELL THEYRE OPENING NEXT WEEKEND!!

you : NO WAY FR??

riks : YES DO U WANNA GO

you : is that even a question.

riks : alr alr IM SO EXCITED

you : ME TOO

you shut off ur phone, kicking around in your bed out of excitement. you and nikis parents would always take you guys to amusement parks or fairs when you were little. you guys haven’t gone in quite a while, so this was gonna be fun, but also nostalgic. big rides were always your favourite thing, but he hated them. he was always so scared to go on them, so this time you were absolutely determined to make him go on one with you.

around a week passes by, and its time to get ready to go to the amusement park with niki. it was still pretty cold, so you had to take that into account. the park was opening back up for some sort of winter event, apparently it was supposed to be really pretty. you’re getting ready, styling your hair and doing your makeup. usually, you dont put that much makeup on. but this time, without even realizing, you were doing alot more. you put some really pretty eyeglitter on, using waterproof mascara so your eyelashes hold better, just overall doing stuff you wouldnt usually do on a day to day basis. "wait.. why am i so worried about how i look, its just niki." you told yourself. just niki. as you were continuing to get ready, you were getting increasingly nervous. "this isnt a date y/n, this isnt a date. you have nothing to be worried about. its just a regular hangout with your bestfriend." you kept telling yourself. you put your jacket on, and you also grabbed a fuzzy scarf. little did you know, niki was telling himself the same things in the mirror as he tried to lessen the sweat on his palms.

you and niki arrive at the amusement park. it was beautiful lit, even though it wasn’t late the lights of all the fun rides illuminated the place wonderfully. you and niki looked at each other and smiled brightly, bringing back tons of memories. niki ran over to the bumper cars, and you followed. it was always his favourite thing to do. you hopped in the car of your choice and niki went in the one beside you. the game started, and you tried your best to hit niki as hard as you possibly could, whipping him forward practically giving him whiplash. you were basically pissing yourself laughing as he gave you the nastiest look. it took him a few tries but he finally ended up beside you once again and repeatedly rammed into you. you guys went 2 more rounds before becoming tired and finally leaving the bumper car area. you both adjusted yourselves, but niki noticed your shoelace was untied. "y/n, hang on." he knelt down in-front of you, and began tying your shoelaces with his slender fingers. "i could’ve done it myself but thank you niki" he looked up at you, smiling and nodding. you ruffled his hair and he shot up. "hey!! i spent a while trying to make my hair look good.." you laughed at him, continuing to look for other things to do. one of those water gun games caught your eye. "niki look! we used to always try and win plushies on that." his head swung toward you, immediately challenging you to see who could score higher. you both were trying your hardest, and you obviously won. he sighed in defeat. the employee handed you this adorable hamster plushie. you looked at it, smiling. "niki you kinda look like a hamster when you’re sulking." you put the hamster up to his face to compare, jokingly. "tch, yeah yeah whatever y/n" he said. "niki, you should have it. it looks like you anyways, and you’ll be reminded of me everytime you look at it." you shot him a joking wink. he took the plushie as you said he should. some time passes by, and you guys already ate and drank stuff, went on the carrousel and all of the basics and its been a few hours. the sun was starting to set, and the lights of the park continued to get brighter. "niki. we need to go on a big ride." niki looked at you for a split second, as if you just told him his pet died. "um absolutely not?" he answered. "niki pleaaaaaase" you clung onto his arm, pretty close to his face. "cmonnn just this once?" you blinked at him. he was looking directly at you, but no words were escaping his mouth. "f-fine.." he looked away, with a tinge of pink covering his ears. you were unable to tell if he was blushing or if he was cold. "i never thought you’d actually agree. this is like the best day ever?!" you grabbed nikis arm, and rushed into the line of one of the relatively larger rides, but not too large so niki wouldn’t be too terrified. after a bit you guys got seated beside eachother, and the employee pulled the over the shoulder restraint on you guys. you could tell niki was obviously nervous. "y/n i cant believe you made me do this. i actually despise you right now." "im sorry!!! only this once okay, i’ve always wanted to go on one with yo-" your sentence was cut short as the ride began, making a loud noise. "y/n i cant believe this." niki panicked. you giggled slightly as the ride made its way up to the highest point. you put your hand out for niki to hold, and he grabbed it immediately. after a few more seconds of comforting him the ride reached its highest point. after the it holding for a few seconds, it let go and your free hand went up. niki squeezed tighter and screamed loud. "Y/N L/N I DONT KNOW WHY I AGREED TO THIS" "I DONT KNOW EITHER" you yelled back. after around a minute, the ride came to its final stop.

you got off smiling and happy, whereas niki came off completely disheveled. it was a funny scene, you looked like a joyful golden retriever puppy and he looked like a grumpy black cat. you looked back at him and noticed his messy appearance. "sooo, how was it." you asked curiously, fixing his jacket along with his scarf. "never again." his eyes met your face. "it couldnt have been that bad." you reached your arms up, fixing his fluffy hair. you smiled at him whilst he stared into your face, unable to think of anything besides you.

it turned late, and it was 10 minutes left on the clock before the beautiful fireworks started. you guys found a decent place to stand, and you were both snacking on a pretzel. you witnessed multiple couples walking by, and thinking about how you wouldn’t be so opposed to being in a relationship. "gosh, theres so many couples here today." "theres couples here constantly." he added. "okay, but still. they’re all so lovey-dovey." "i guess so." you guys continued talking and the fire work show started, beginning with a few small ones. you both looked up in sync, mesmerized by the bright colours. twinkling eyes, niki looked over at you. it took him a while to take it in, but at this very moment his feelings truly solidified and he wasn’t so unsure anymore. it was forever since you spent a day together at your favourite childhood place, and now its the place where he recognizes how much he likes you. "y/n?" he says your name. "mhm.. whats up..?" you say slowly, completely and utterly enthralled by the fireworks growing in size. "i-i.." he trailed off, still facing the fireworks but his head facing you. "i think i like you." a huge firework exploded. "no, i do like you." it took you a moment to process. you turned towards him in shock. "i hope this doesn’t ruin anything, i cherish our friendship and i don’t ever want to lose yo-" you cut him off, grabbing his face. "you could never lose me. i like you too, dummy." you gave him a quick peck as another firework exploded. it felt like there were mini fireworks exploding in both of your hearts.

#enhypen niki #niki #niki x reader #nishimura riki #niki nishimura #enhypen #enha x reader #enha #enha fluff #enha niki #gabyun #first post #first story #fluff #enha amusement park #amusement park date #enhypen nishimura riki

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youngpettyqueen · 16 days

Note

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

For DS9 <3

cracks my knuckles

alright so ive kinda covered the infantilization of Julian Bashir in my last answer and this is somewhat related because when people do this with him they also tend to make him out to be a lot more insecure than he is in canon, and in relation to that they also make him a total doormat who just lets people walk all over him which is. absolutely not what he's like. at all

Julian does have some degree of self-loathing and imposter syndrome but I think its vitally important to understand this as his anger and loathing being directed towards what was done to him. its not as simple as him hating himself- he hates what was done to him, so while there is a degree of self-loathing, that anger is also directed outwards at his parents and every doctor who had a part in augmenting him

I think takes where Julian is deeply insecure about being, like, really talkative are just incorrect. I dont read that from him at all. Julian is very unapologetically and loudly himself and he doesnt apologize for any of it. his confidence in himself is one of his defining character traits. ive seen takes that all of that is a front and I just dont agree with those takes. I agree that he has some degree of insecurity and that is related to his augmentations and some imposter syndrome based on that, but when it comes to things like how much he talks, his difficulties with reading social cues, I dont think he's particularly insecure. again, this is in relation to the very popular headcanon that Julian is autistic, and people take the traits he has that are common autistic traits, and make him insecure about them, and that tends to lead straight into takes I see where people make him out to be a doormat who cant stand up for himself

I genuinely have no idea where the fanon version of Julian that is incapable of sticking up for himself comes from. ive seen it in some fics, and in some headcanons, and it makes me wonder if we watched the same show. I dont think Julian cares all that much about jokes made at his expense about how chatty he is or how childish he can be. the one time I can think of that we see him get even slightly upset by jokes of that nature is when everyone is ganging up on him for his holosuite programs, and even then, he's not insecure about it he's annoyed cause he's being ganged up on by multiple people. Miles makes a lot of jokes at his expense and thats their general banter- Julian gives it back as good as he gets. same with Garak. ive seen people act like Miles telling Julian the Changeling was better was a horrible heartless thing and sure, it wasn't a great thing to say, but thats just. how they talk to each other. the cornerstone of their dynamic is them ribbing each other. same with how Miles and especially Garak will joke about Julian's augmentations- ive seen people act like this is horrible on their ends, while I read it as its their way of normalizing it for Julian and showing their acceptance of it. and if Julian really didnt like it, he would say something. he's not shy!

idk I feel like some of that might come from The Wire in how Julian sits back and takes Garak's yelling at him and attacking him, but to me thats just Julian being really good at handling a crisis situation. as someone who deals with crisis situations as part of my job, what Julian is doing is just trying to de-escalate the situation. he's keeping himself very neutral and letting Garak rant- if he were to snap back in that moment, it would only escalate things further, which he was trying to avoid. this is exactly what youre supposed to do when faced with someone in crisis. its also worth mentioning that Garak was going through agonizing withdrawals, so I doubt Julian was taking anything Garak was saying to heart. he responds to him like he's taking him seriously, for the purpose of de-escalating the situation and trying to calm Garak down. thats not an indication that Julian is incapable of standing up for himself and will just let himself be walked over, but rather that he just. knows how to handle a crisis

the infantilized oh-so-innocent deeply insecure eternally bullied Julian Bashir that I see exist in some fanon circles is just. so bizarre to me. it takes so much of nuance away from his character and im not sure what for? ive seen it used in some fics to bolster Garak up as this protector for him and im not a fan of twisting their dynamic to be like that, it takes a lot of the intricacies of their dynamic away in favour of loading them up with tropes. I think people forget that Julian very successfully kept his augmentations hidden for over half his life and would've continued to keep them hidden if his parents hadn't fucked it all up. I also think people forget that Julian is perfectly capable of and WILL stick up for himself, and that a lot of his anger at his situation is directed outward. turning him into this weird version of himself that is very woe-is-me just does nothing for me and is very divorced from how he actually is. he's snappy and rude as hell when he wants to be, he's not taking shit lying down, doesnt matter who it comes from

also a smaller thing but it annoys me every time cause I get it in notes on my posts. when people say Julian's self-sacrificing tendencies come from his need to be useful I wanna whack them with a rolled up newspaper. its because he wants to SAVE PEOPLE it is explicitly about SAVING PEOPLE he isnt trying to die to be useful his goal when he runs through fire is to help and to save because he is, at his core, a doctor and a healer!! its about the preservation of life and doing everything he can!! its not about this weird complex fanon gives him where he needs to be useful or die trying to justify his existence or whatever I dont read that at all from him. he's just that determined to save lives

hope you enjoyed this ramble I have many thoughts and feelings on this

#star trek: ds9 #julian bashir #people kept getting him wrong in my notes the other day can you tell it annoyed me #ive been so strong not starting arguments on the internet #this is a wonderful excuse to rant #it annoys me so much when people make him into a helpless baby #he is quite literally not like that #at all #its such a disservice to his character to act like he is

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astrologysaysno · 2 months

Text

Saw svsss as Idols and I decided to come back to the scene for even more Idol Trainee Shang Qinghua in the middle of the night only semi-coherent.

The context: 1, 2, 3, 4

So like, I already pitched to all of you the idea of Shang Qinghua being a former Idol Trainee, but let me be extremely self-indulgent and ask how do we feel about him making his own Idol Group in the PIDW world?

Shang Qinghua never got to debut as an idol, so why not be one in this life. Sure the concept doesn't exist in the way it is for him but how hard can that be?

(To no one's surprise, it's an absolute pain to recreate)

Balancing being head of An Ding AND being Mobei-jun's spy on top of trying to form and train a modern idol group essentially guarantees him that sleep will be nonexistent, but he's had worse things occur in life, he has written chapters at breakneck speeds to pay rent.

In terms of music, there's a struggle vocally speaking. Western sensibilities and pop vocal styles are quite different from ancient Chinese singing. Power belting is a rare phenomena outside specific settings and Shang Qinghua now has to train vocal harmonies. Compound this with the fact that he has to teach them multiple extra languages since it's hard to carry the same energy over translations and it's an absolute train wreck.

Choreography wise, it's hard to teach dance moves without having his peers blush at him from the steps. This is intersecting with the fact that most of these dance styles are new. Hip-hop doesn't begin until a couple of millenias later, and Jazz hasn't been invented by the people of Louisiana since it doesn't exist yet, so his students are going in blind.

If we rope SQQ-J here, we could have him get an aneurysm as he watches Shang Qinghua flub at teaching trainees and having to be a live translator so that they have a clue on what they're saying.

SQH: "I need you to give me more 'aaa' and less 'eee'"

Trainee: *Absolutely Confused* ????

SQQ: Exasperated, "He's telling you to make your vowels sound more like an 'a' sound and make it more open."

SQH teaching the lyrics: Okay, I need you to sing this next part. *Sings rapidly in English*

SQQ: Shidi I need you to understand that I don't know what you're saying

SQH: It doesn’t matter what it means, just say the line.

SQH: showing the choreo: Then you do this. *Drops to the floor in a kick move and slides his hand up his body, showing some skin as his shirt rides up*

LGQ: *Short circuiting and blushing red after watching SQH demonstrate the choreo.* "SHAMELESS! ABSOLUTELY SHAMELESS!" *Flees*

SQQ: *Smacks SQH with his fan*

MBJ: *Hides in the corner as he watches SQH dance with only a sleeveless shirt and small shorts in somewhere private* My hamster is very talented, and very handsome

__________________________________

This is the part of this dumpsterfire word vomit I have cooked up in the middle of the night where I contemplate groups I could have Shan Qingqua's Idol Group do music from.

It all depends on the size of the group really. Plus, my vision has SQH and SQQ working together for extra wachy hijinks. So these are gonna be my inspirations mostly for each group.

Plus Plus, this list isn't for all combinations, just combinations I would probably do.

Cutting it off to just the Peak Lords, I made these.

Two Member Group:

SQH &:

SQQ - Irene and Seulgi

LQG - DubChaeng

YQY - AKMU

Three Member Group:

SQH, SQQ, LQG - Odd Eye Circle and MISAMO

SQH, SQQ, YQY - FLO

Four Member Group:

SQH, SQQ, YQY, LQG - aespa and kiof

Five Member Group:

SQH, SQQ, YQY, LQG, MQF - Red Velvet, Loossemble, and ARTMS

SQH, SQQ, YQY, LQG, WQW - ITZY, (G)-Idle, and Le Serrafim

Six Member Groups:

SQH, SQQ, YQY, LQG, MQF, WQW -

NMIXX

IVE

STAYC

Everglow

So uh, yeah. These are the K-pop groups I'm working with. As you can see, I mostly just listen to girl groups, I don't really listen to boygroups, which may be to my detriment, since they are all men.

#shang qinghua #mobei jun #moshang #svsss #mxtx svsss #shen jiu #liu qingge #mxtx #I have so many songs out there that I wanna see them do #If anyone knows how to make those line distribution videos that'd be great cause I will send you the lyrics with each part sorted #Shen Qingqiu-J is absolutely mortified with the plans Shang Qinghua is implementing but he has no choice his Shizun has decided #Liu Qingge came to watch SQQ struggle byt ended up struggling alongside him #Mobei jun wants to impress Shang Qinghua by learning the choreo but fails #Shang Qinghua will get to have his debut goddammit if it's the last things he will ever do

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

Note

aita for “not being able to keep issues in servers separate”

🌻🌷🌹🥀 (to find later)

this all happened a couple months ago now in mid november-ish so i’m sending this late, but i didn’t want to while the situation was ongoing. for the record me and everyone affected have collectively since left both servers mentioned. so. wee

i (23mtf) do a long of long form roleplay, specifically in public oc-based discord servers. these are servers where people will create a setting and then people can join and insert their ocs into the world, and they’re tons of fun! this is a hobby ive had for years now. it’s really important to me as it’s my main creative outlet and i know a good number of people in the community. i’ll often join servers and recognize at least a handful of people there already

around may last year, i joined a new server and things were great, for a while, but then not long after i joined someone new did, i’ll call her X (34nb) for this. when she first joined the interactions we had were fine, but - and i’m still really not sure why this is, i’m not trying to absolve myself if i did do something but i have no idea what i did to warrant this shift even to this day - a few weeks later she just got… extremely passive aggressive and contrary with me, over silly things. most of it was “in character” but it really stuck out to me. i’d have a character say something marginally unconventional and she’d always, without fail, have one of her characters come in to scold them, even if her characters hadn’t been part of the conversation prior. her characters constantly talked down to or insulted mine. she was always talking ooc about how strange her characters found mine. when i tried to get involved in overarching plots, she would often push me out of them, or insist that my characters were only getting in the way, or would insert her characters to do things i’d stated to the group i wanted mine to do, so i didn’t end up able to do anything. it seemed targeted to me because the main character she was doing this with was known to be very kind to everyone else, but for some reason never had anything nice to say about mine. i know none of this is outright bullying but it wore on me greatly. i tried to confront her on this multiple times to tell her it was making me uncomfortable and to please knock it off, and i tried to get the server mods involved when that failed, but the behavior never really stopped and eventually i was content to just… not interact with her

but then a while later i noticed her treating someone else the same way. i reached out to him about it, and he told me that she had done basically everything she’d done to me to him, and he wasn’t the only one. after snooping around a little more i realized that a lot of people in the server had had this problem with her, totaling 7 of us. 7 of us in the group at the time. some people had dropped characters or outright left the group because of her, so 7 isn’t even everyone because it doesn’t include people she’d already driven out that i couldn’t contact. for reference, this server only had roughly 30 people. even if the number of total members was bigger, 7+ still feels like a lot

i tried to take this to the mods of the server again, but (and this is where i’m unsure if i misstepped) i thought it would be right to bring it up to the mods of a separate, larger server that all of us were in together as well. this server had closed to 50-60 members. in my head, if this person has harassed over half a dozen people like this it’d be silly to assume its only a problem in one group, and even if it wasn’t a problem in this larger server it would be better to make them aware of it so they could keep an eye out

the mods in both servers weren’t happy with me, through. even when all 7 people tried to give testimony, both teams claimed there wasn’t enough evidence to support harassment and that they’d talk to her about it, but this didn’t warrant any further action. keep in mind again i’d already had to go to the mods about this same person before, so they weren’t unaware that this happened to me and they had tried talking to her already. then they told me that it was inappropriate of me to bring this up in a server that wasn’t necessarily involved, and that the 7 of us were ganging up against her and bullying her. and i, especially, had been unfairly targeting her

this confused me greatly! i will admit, it’s likely i’ve been snippier with X than i intended. thats on me, i struggle with tone and i have trouble masking my frustration, but i have never once gone out of my way to make her feel bad. she has a generalized anxiety disorder or some such, and before i realized how many people had this issue with her i had been avoiding her for months. i have no idea what i could have said to her that was taken as bullying, because i haven’t been talking to her, period. when i see her in channels i just mute the channel until it’s passed, ive seriously done everything i could to minimize contact because i figured it was a personal issue. i asked both the mods and her directly, in dms, for examples or screenshots of what i said or did so i could adjust my behavior, and i never got shown any. i still as of typing this don’t know what i did to warrant that being said

the mods said they would give her a warning, but they gave me a warning as well, that if i continued like this i would be booted from both servers. they insisted to me again that i’d been clearly bullying her (did not provide examples) and i never should have brought it up to the other server and gotten them involved. i admit i think they might be right on that last point, but i am iffy. i had (honestly still have) justifiable reason to think X is an unsafe person to be around. she pushes people out of the community and cries and gets meek if she’s ever confronted on it in a way that’s distinctly guilt trippy and makes it hard to communicate. i have previously tried to resolve my issues with her in private and she was never receptive nor did she ever accept accountability, or change her actions. if her target calls her out she just starts doing it to someone else. it’s not like her being in a different server suddenly means she’s a different person. if someone like that is in your server, even if you don’t have “proof” that it’s happened in your group, wouldn’t you want to know about it? they kept insisting it had nothing to do with them and it was wrong of me to get them involved. i kind of think this is a cowardly policy to have, that you won’t act on or acknowledge harassment from your members unless it happens right in front of you and is blindingly obvious, but i don’t know

to be clear, i think X is an asshole, so that’s not what i’m asking about. anxiety disorder or not, she is frankly too old and has done this too many times for me to believe it’s unintentional. even if it is unintentional, she’s still hurting people and makes no effort to change. but i’m wondering if i’m an asshole for bringing it into another server. should i have just kept it in the first group?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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satuguro · 2 years

Text

✧*ೃ࿐ TONGUES & TEETH

[ ACT IV: THE VALKYRIE'S FALL]

xavier thorpe x valkyrie! reader

#SYNOPSIS— you really shouldn't work at a coffee shop, enid forces you on a shopping spree, and xavier finally snaps.

#CONTAINS— enemies to fwb (kind of) to lovers, slowburn, academic rivals, intimidating and flawed reader, familial issues (will be mentioned in this part), gore, blood, death, aged up characters (everyone is 18 except for eugene), sexual content (in some other parts)

#AUTHORSNOTE— it's official— this series is gonna be a slowburn. thank you for the continuous support !

ACT I, ACT II, ACT III, ACT IV, ACT V, ACT VI

you learned quite quickly that maybe you weren't as good as talking to people as you thought.

you weren't particularly social; your sisters taught you to keep to yourself. as a kid, you often played alone. any friends you made in your multiple foster homes were oftentimes temporary. you always ended up running away in the end, and you were always found at the same location.

1297 brook street.

you were always out on the porch of the old house, slamming your fists into the door as you screamed for the owner of the house to open it. you screamed at them to look at you, to face what she feared most, and you were always, always pulled away from that damned house and put in another foster home. the cycle continued for years.

so no, you weren't the best with speaking to others. not without the occasional snarky comment. but as you worked at the weathervane, reluctantly walking up to a group of normie boys, you found yourself trying to be civil. not only to xavier (who you had been ignoring since you both started), but to the customers.

emphasis on trying.

"what can i get you?" you asked the group with a forced smile, clicking your pen against your notepad.

"i'll get a latte," one of the boys chirped, and you nodded as you wrote it down, listening to the rest of their orders.

"that kid's from nevermore, right?" one of the boys asked, nodding over to xavier. you followed his nod to where xavier stood, giving a few girls their orders. he was talking to them casually, a small smile gracing his face after one of the girls complimented him.

"what's it to you?" you asked, turning your attention back to the needy highschooler. you were only a little bit surprised that they could easily tell who was an outcast and who wasn't, but you assumed it was because xavier had gone to nevermore much longer than you had. this was your first year, after all.

"nevermore kids have always been fuckin' weird," the boy stated factually.

you almost wanted to laugh. you put on an apron and some casual clothes, and suddenly you weren't an outcast. they must've deemed you as 'normal' enough to fit in with them— how pathetic.

"oh, really?" you chose to entertain him for a little longer, pretending to be really into his 'cool' take. but there was that familiar glint in your eye that showed just how irked you were. "how else would you describe them?"

"kooky, dangerous, fuckin' crazy," the guy and his friends snickered, nudging each other as though they were suddenly stand up comedians, "trust me. it's a good thing that after today they'll go back to their creepy-ass castle and stay there."

you hummed in faux agreement, opening your mouth to finally tell them of your fib, before the guy continued.

"you should stay away from them. especially him," he nodded at xavier. "hang out with us instead," he looked you up and down as though you were a piece of meat.

your fake smile immediately fell at that comment, the hand holding your pen gripping it tighter as you stood back up. you took a step closer to the normie, fully ready to beat him to a pulp, before a hand grabbed your shoulder and turned you around immediately.

"what the hell, thorpe?" you hissed, feeling his hands on your shoulders as he quite literally steered you away from them. he let you to where tyler— wednesday's friend that xavier obviously disliked —stood behind the cafe bar.

"what happened now?" tyler asked, obviously concerned as he looked at the group of boys sitting in the booth. they were all talking amongst themselves, their eyes set on you and xavier.

wordlessly, you shoved the notepad with their orders towards tyler, refusing to look at xavier as he scolded you.

"you were about to beat him up, and while he did have it coming, this isn't the right place for that." xavier leaned on the cafe bar, eyes still warily set on you. "are you even listening?"

"i don't have to look at you to be listening," you snapped, taking one of the boys' orders from tyler.

"you two just never stop arguing do you," tyler commented as he pulled another espresso shot and poured it into a mug. he turned around to finish the drink. as per usual, xavier ignored him.

you observed the latte for a second before you leaned over it, letting a huge glob of spit plop into the mug.

"you've got to be kidding," xavier groaned, and you sent him an innocent smile as you took the next order from tyler. luckily for you, tyler was too preoccupied with making drinks to notice that you spat in the next mug. and the next. and the next— you spat in every single one of their mugs.

you reached for a tray and began placing the mugs on it, avoiding xavier's eyes as you said, "they were saying shit about nevermore—"

xavier's eyebrows furrowed, "people say shit all the time—"

"and about you," you finished. you picked up the mugs and looked at him, your expression unreadable. you turned to walk to the boys, your fakest smile gracing your face yet again as you passed out the mugs. "here you go, boys."

"bet you actually are one of those nevermore freaks," the same guy who had been flirting with you said as he took his mug. he took a sip from it, one that you watched sadistically. you reached over to place a mug in front of his other friend, only for his hand to come up and grab your arm— the one with your tattoo on it. "i bet this is some cult shit, isn't it?"

and with that, you set the mugs down on the table and punched him in the nose. the strength of your punch knocked his head back against the seat of the booth, making everyone turn their heads your way. there was a sickening crack that echoed in the air the second your knuckles collided with his face.

"you broke my nose!" the boy yelled, holding his profusely bleeding nose with a handful of napkins.

"never touch me again." you huffed angrily, brushing off your bloodied knuckleson your apron as you turned to his friends, who were frantically checking to see if he was okay. "enjoy your coffee," you said through gritted teeth, talking back to where xavier and tyler stood.

"okay, maybe i should teach you how to make drinks," tyler motioned for you to come to the other side of the bar, concern evident on his face.

"they had it coming that time," xavier muttered to you as you passed him.

a small, proud smile graced your face at that.

most of the day continued in relative peace, the only problems being the constant bickering between you and xavier. you could tell that you both were wearing tyler out by the hour. he only ever really conversed with you, for his attempts to talk to xavier were quickly ignored. you observed how they acted around each other; it was as though tyler kept trying to get along with him while xavier just couldn't care less.

it was like they had history.

the sight of a familiar pigtailed girl made you look to the side of the cafe bar, a small chuckle of amusement escaping your lips. xavier and wednesday walked up to the cafe bar; xavier's mood seemed to lighten up significantly.

"lovesick fool," you muttered under your breath as they approached, before looking at wednesday confusedly. you placed your arms on the counter and leaned forward. "that happened to pilgrim world?"

"i deserted my post with what little sanity i have left." wednesday peered at your bruised hand for a second, eyes snapping back up to meets yours. "did you beat someone up?"

"she broke some normie's nose," xavier explained, copying your actions as he leaned on the counter. he managed a shadow of a smile as he looked at wednesday, asking, "do you want coffee? i think y/n finally learned how to make something edible."

"i'm sure you know all about edible things, wouldn't you," you grumbled under your breath, making xavier send you a warning glare.

"i'm actually here for tyler."

xavier's lighthearted smile fell at that, the psychic not even trying to hide his obvious discontent. "i told you he was bad news."

you raised a brow at xavier, your previous observation of xavier's immediate dislike of tyler only confirmed by his words. "why is that?" you asked curiously, ignoring wednesday's look.

she didn't seem to agree with xavier's words.

"you told me twice. but who i speak to is my business." wednesday stated, turning to ring the cafe's bell.

xavier's jaw clenched as his eyes trailed down, jealousy overcoming him as he allowed wednesday to talk to who she actually came to the cafe for.

tyler came out from the back, an immediate smile making its way onto his face at the sight of the dreary girl. "you rang?" he asked, making xavier scoff and walk the other way to join you behind the counter.

"you're both horrible," you said matter-of-factly as you cleaned the espresso machine absentmindedly. for someone who was so keen and in touch with her senses, wednesday was completely blind to the fact that the two boys were fawning over her. that, or she just didn't care— you were guessing that it was the latter.

"shut up," xavier grumbled as he walked past you. "don't even start on the thing you always say—"

"what, about just telling her how you feel?" you rolled your eyes, hearing the familiar ding of the door as wednesday made her leave. "i'm giving you sold advice," you took your rag and walked to the sink where xavier was washing some mugs, "and you just keep ignoring it,"

"i don't need advice for this. especially not from a past hookup."

"what, does that matter?" you narrowed your eyes at him as you placed your rag next to the sink.

"and that shit you pulled at the poe cup?" xavier glared at you, his cheeks burning red, "you can't not act like the shit we did that one night was a one time thing when you pulled that on me."

"why are we even talking about this?" you groaned, pinching the bridge of your nose. "it worked. my team won. i was just fucking with you, thorpe."

"right." xavier continued washing the mugs, refusing to look at you as he did. he didn't like you romantically — he didn't think he did, at least.

he was sure it was just enamor. you were attractive and had a certain beauty to you had left him finding himself drawing you time and time again. but your obvious dislike of him was something that couldn't be ignored— especially your avoidance of anything that showed attachment. it wasn't like he was blind. he could see that you constantly kept yourself guarded even when you didn't believe you were. you could be surrounded by enid and wednesday, the two people he was sure that you were friends with, but you wouldn't tell them anything about yourself that wasn't about your long record of trouble or something about school.

wednesday talked about her brother and mother sometimes. enid mentioned her brothers almost daily, especially to xavier; she missed them, but they were a constant reminder that she hadn't wolfed out yet. the most anyone knew about you that wasn't remotely violent was that you was that you liked pottery.

he only eavesdropped a couple times, but it only confirmed his conclusion; in reality, wednesday and enid knew nothing about you. no one did.

"are you going to the dance, y/n?"

you shook your head as you sat stiffly next to xavier in botany. it was an unfortunate accident, honestly; you were late to class one time and you had to sit next to him out of all the people. botany wasn;t you strong suit; you had the opposite of a green thumb. "it's not really my thing. besides— i didn't get asked."

“never took you as someone who wouldn’t ask first,” xavier commented as he leaned down to get his sketchbook. he let out a groan as he grabbed it before placing it on your shared table.

you only shrugged in response, placing your chin on the palm of your hand. absentmindedly, you watched him, asking "what'd you do?"

"i tweaked my back while fencing."

"pay more attention to stretching, then." you narrowed your eyes at some claw marks on his neck. his collar didn't completely cover up the entirety of the wound, making the three claw marks visible under it.

"the orchid produces a pheromone that mimics a female insect.." ms. thornhill explained in the background, but you were too focused on his marks to pay full attention.

"where'd that come from?" you asked, nodding at his neck.

xavier huffed in annoyance, focusing on thornhill ahead of him as he responded. "those images i drew of the monster. my abilities made it come to life and it attacked me."

you didn't seem entirely convinced, but you nodded anyway.

"luring the males in," thornhill continued to move her hands passionately as she spoke, "now, once the plant is pollinated, what do the male insects get in exchange?"

"nada. just like all the guys at the rave'n," bianca said with an amused smile, all the students laughing at her joke.

"okay, okay," thornhill calmed all of you down with her hands and a smile, "i know you're all excited about saturday, which is why i haven't assigned any homework." she paused as sounds of agreement echoed through her conservatory, "but i do still need volunteers for the decorating committee."

hands shot up from around the crowd, your head still boredly on your palm as you observed them.

"anyone interested, come and see me up here."

"you're not gonna volunteer?" xavier asked you teasingly, a smirk gracing his face. "with you being able to fly, i'm sure you can help put some of the disco balls up." he only seemed half serious about his words, but guessing by his teasing tone, he was probably just messing with you. "there's even a dj— mc blood suckaz."

"they have ladders," you replied blankly. "and i'd rather not listen to whatever soundcloud rapper they hired to dj."

xavier chuckled softly to himself at that, watching you begin to pack up your things. he hesitated for a moment as he turned the words he was about to say in his head. but nonetheless, he said them anyway. "it'd be more tolerable if you invited someone. loosen up a little— god knows you need it."

"what's that supposed to mean? aren't you a prude?"

"you're a lot more prudish than me," xavier said in faux seriousness, putting his sketchpad in his bag and standing up. he swung his bag over his shoulder. "but i'm serious— haven't you thought about just asking someone?"

"no. i'd rather fight a war than go," you stated dryly, throwing your own bag over your own shoulder.

dances weren't your thing. a part of you always wanted to be asked to go to a dance— it was nice to be wanted sometimes —but you knew that it would be an overall bad idea. going to the dance was one of the many things that could risk you getting attached to another. and with a humanoid monster running around in the neighboring woods, you didn't want to get attached only to bring their soul up to heaven.

xavier walked away from you, leaving you standing near your desk. you sighed as you readied yourself to leave, only for a hand to come and tap your shoulder.

you turned around, being met with wednesday with thing on her shoulder. "did you see those scratches?" she asked you dryly, and you only nodded, motioning for her to follow you as you walked.

"he said he got it from those drawings he has of the monster— y'know, the one i told you about." you shrugged as you grabbed the straps of your backpack. "i'm not entirely convinced."

"neither am i. is that why we're following him?" wednesday looked further down ahead of the both of you, xavier's tied hair visible over many of the students.

"he always disappears after botany," you sent her a lopsided smile, "aren't you even a least bit curious?"

"i suppose."

the two of you followed xavier into the woods to where an abandoned building was. fortunately, both you and wednesday were knowledgeable in sneaking enough to remain undetected by the artist. your feet were light against the fallen leaves, barely making any loud noises as you came to a stop near the building. xavier slipped into it, disappearing for a few minutes before he came out again with a sketchbook in his hand.

your eyes followed him as he left. you waited for a minute before you and wednesday walked to the building. you opened the door, murmuring, "idiot doesn't even keep it locked," before you walked inside with wednesday close in tow.

xavier had seemingly turned the old building into a studio. the room was littered with art supplies ranging from charcoal, to pencils, to paint. easels were set up further down the room, all of them works in progreess. wednesday pulled down the switch to the light, and finally, you were able to see the images clearly.

almost every single piece of art had the monster on them. its eyes were huge as it stared at you from beyond the paper. its teeth were as sharp as you remember, and you found yourself reminiscing the way it felt when you kicked it away from rowan's dying body.

"every artist needs their muse," you murmured, peering up at the images.

wednesday picked up a few torn pages from xavier's book. "is this what you meant?" she asked you, and you looked over her shoulder and nodded. they were the pages you saw in xavier's book. one of the pages showed the monster in what seemed to be a spiral cave. wednesday immediately folded the pages and shoved them into her backpack. "let's go."

you walked out after wednesday, shutting the door gently behind you. wednesday had already walked back into the woods, and you turned, ready to follow her, only to hear footsteps right behind you.

"y/n?" xavier's voice called out, making you freeze as you turned around.

"thorpe." you responded in greeting, fists clenching and unclenching. oh, how you wished to be in wednesday's position, walking halfway down the woods without having to deal with being caught. "hi."

"hi— what're you doing?" xavier asked you, shoving his hands into his pockets. he looked at you suspiciously, but you forced yourself to play a cool front as you nodded at the studio.

"nothing. i just saw you walk over here; what is this place?" who were you kidding? you had snooped through the entire thing already; you knew exactly what it was. but you had to change the subject.

"it's kind of my private art studio," xavier said, turning to look at the studio before focusing on you again. "after i fixed it and clear it out, weems let me use it."

"that's nice of her. can i look inside?" you asked with a tilt of your head, eyes almost hopeful.

"it's a mess in there. maybe some other time." xavier shook his head. "but why were you looking for me?"

nervousness thrummed through your body as you searched your brain for an excuse. you cleared your throat, leaning back on the balls of your feet. "i wanted to ask about thornhill's homework."

"she didn't give us homework," xavier frowned. "remember?"

oh, you were so fucked. you swallowed thickly, racking your brain for another excuse.

but there was a smile tugging at the corners of xavier's lips. you watched him as he took a step towards you, humming as he pretended to think. "is this about a specific dance on saturday? what did you say again?"

"stop."

"'i'd rather fight a war than go,'" xavier mocked your tone of voice, making you groan. even in a situation like this, he was still so infuriating. but xavier looked like he was having a blast, his cheshire smile only growing. "well, go on. i'm listening."

you sent him a deadpan look. "are you really going to make me say it?"

"oh, absolutely," he was practically ecstatic at this point, seeing you so reluctant to ask the question. xavier grinned at you as you looked away from him.

a weary sigh escaped your lips as you muttered the question quietly.

"say it again?" xavier said, his smile so wide that his dimples were starting to show. he loved seeing you like this; it was so uncharacteristic of you to be so nervous when asking such a simple question. usually, you lacked any kind of filter and said what you wanted. but to see you roll the words in your mouth in preparation of saying it again; the sadistic part in him loved it.

"would you—" you let out a sharp exhale as you stuttered, forcing yourself to look directly into xavier's eyes. "would you think about going to the rave'n dance.."

xavier's eyes drifted up as he pretended to ponder your upcoming question. but the smug smirk on his face remained, which only made you all the more angry that you were in this position in the first place.

"would you go to the rave'n with me?" you forced out through gritted teeth, a sigh of relief escaping you.

xavier chuckled in amusement before nodding. "how kind of you for asking. i'd love to go to the dance with you, y/n. i thought you'd never ask."

"you only want to go because i asked you first."

"yeah, but it was completely worth it," xavier laughed, making you roll your eyes and turn away from him. with that, you walked away, fully ready to tell wednesday of your predicament.

you returned to your room, face burning red as you shut the door behind you and announced to your roommates blankly, "i'm going to the rave'n with xavier."

wdenesday almost wanted to laugh.

"oh my god— y/n odinsdottir is going to the rave'n?" enid squealed, jumping out of her bed to grab you by the shoulders. you only let her, standing stiffly as she shook you.

"how did you get yourself into that predicament?" wednesday asked flatly, looking up from her desk to look at you.

"he arrived after you left the studio," you grumbled, ignoring enid's squeal. "i had to come up with something to not seem suspicious."

"stick close to him. it'll give us a chance to have more intel," wednesday stated, making you shrug.

you weren't one to use people for information, but with the abundance in murders in the woods and the fact that you didn't want to go to the dance inthe first place, you couldn't help but agree. besides; the quicker you got the monster, the less lives would be lost. "sure, why not."

"you know that you need?" enid asked, clapping her hands together in realization.

"revenge."

"a dress!"

you shifted uncomfortably at the idea. but enid was right; you had no dresses. you liked them, sure, but you haven't worn one in ages. the idea of it was kind of nerve-racking. you sighed, officially giving up as you nodded. "you're right, i do."

"wednesday— you and thing have to come along with us! we need opinions!" enid practically skipped over to her bag, throwing it over her shoulder.

"you already know that the answer is no. why are you even asking?" wednesday said drearily, watching the overly ecstatic girl practically jump around the room.

"because y/n will be miserable trying out all those dresses!" enid said casually, sending you a quick apologetic smile. "sorry, y/n."

you could only sigh in exasperation. "it's the thought that counts. i guess."

"i suppose i wouldn't mind seeing y/n in some misery." wednesday stood up abruptly, thing climbing onto her shoulder. "i'll come along."

"oh my god, this is like a girl's day!" enid hooked her arms under wednesday's, practically dragging her over to you. "i can't believe that excuse actually made you want to go."

you didn't know what to expect when enid dragged you to a store called 'hawte kewture.' the obvious lack of care for spelling and punctuation already made you cringe inwardly; you weren't even inside yet.

"isn't this exciting?" enid asked, grinning wildly, "our first roomie shopping spree! the dance committee's suggesting all white to match the theme, but that's not gonna fly with us."

"i'd literally rather do anything but worry about a dress for a dance i don't want to go to," you grumbled, your grumpiness doing nothing to deter enid's positivity.

"i have more pressing matters to attend to." with that, wednesday left, not even listening to enid's complain of, 'but we were bonding!'

"she has a lot to deal with, i guess," you mumbled, slightly envious as enid pulled you into the shop after yoko, divina, and their friend. the shop was as bright as it was on the outside, and while you could certainly see its appeal for someone like enid, it just wasn't your taste. the entire area was full of pastel colors, and while their dress collection was wide, you were sure that you really had to look for a dress you'd like.

"y/n. i heard you asked xavier to the dance," yoko said as you and enid walked up to her. her arm was around divina, and she sent you a fanged smile.

"i did," you said though gritted teeth. curse nevermore students and their huge tendency to gossip. "i really hate how gossip spreads that quickly."

"i mean, it was kind of weird news to hear," enid said as you all walked to a rack. her hands began to look through the dresses that hung on the clothesrack as she continued, "you and xavier have been at each other's throats since the moment you two met. and the fact that you asked him!" enid laughed to herself, "i've never been more proud!"

"thanks. i think." you absentmindedly looked through the dresses. all of them weren't your style, and you only looked on boredly as you swiped through each one.

for an hour, you watched the others find their dresses. each of them would try their options on and do a faux catwalk for you out of the changing room, only to be fired down by your opinions. you tried to be as honest as possible— they did ask you to, after all —and you guessed that this was a fitting scenario to be brutally honest.

enid did have to tell you to lower the ante on the brutally part.

but as you sat there on the sofa chair the employees had kindly provided for you, you found yourself close to giving up. that is, until your eyes landed on a dress on a mannequin.

it was a golden, nearly off the shoulder dress that flowed down beautifully. its shoulders were cut out, but the arm sleeves were cut open to reveal a silky cloth that fell all the way down. there was a loosely tied silk belt around the waist, and a deeper gold thread acted as an intricate design in the middle of the dress. you walked up and observed it closer, looking at the back of the dress. it dipped enough to show off your back tattoo.

"this dress would be perfect, y/n!" enid said excitedly as she came up behind you. "it's the perfect shade of gold and won't stand in too much, and screams 'look at me!' you should try it on."

"so where are we putting the murder board?" you asked wednesday as you hung your dress up in your closet. the pitter patter of thing's fingers came your way, and you looked down and managed a small smile. "it's nice, right? i got it yesterday."

"it's very fitting," thing signed in response. "are you excited?"

"gods, no." you laughed, brushing off some dust from the dress. "i'd rather be anywhere but there."

you were just looking at it as an excuse to dress up and look pretty. it was also an excuse to gain more information out of xavier; there was something up with him, you had to admit that.

there was nothing else going on besides that.

"we're keeping at eugene's beekeeping quarters." wednesday held the board in her hands, glancing into your closet. "i see you actually found something to wear. was the process as miserable as enid said it would be?"

"it was the only dress i tried on. the others were revolting." you picked up the photos from wednesday's bed, along with a small box of tacks.

truthfully, you hadn't gone out to eugene's beekeeping quarters ever since you arrived at nevermore. you talked to eugene occasionally— you found it interesting that he could casually control bees as though they were nothing, and his personality was a little quirky, but you didn't mind. he was just a kid.

"y/n! you finally came out here," eugene said with a bright smile, fixing the scarf wrapped around his neck.

"just here to help wednesday with the murder board," you said with a shrug, managing a small smile. "how's the honey?"

"here!" eugene handed you a small mason jar full of honey. "i know you ran out the last time i gave you some, so i got you a bigger batch!"

"thank you," you said sincerely, a rare, genuine smile making its way onto your face at his kindness. you had told him previously that you liked to mix honey in with your tea on gloomy days, and now you had an endless supply of honey.

"i assume this is the creature that's been rampaging the woods?" eugene asked, pointing towards one of xavier's art pieces.

"you've heard about it before?" wednesday asked.

"just rumors. i'm banned from bug hunting until further notice," eugene turned to you, his toothy grin wide as he continued, "i heard you kicked it!"

"i did," you squinted at the photos of all the victims. you could almost feel the pain they were in; your abilities only allowed you to bring souls that were under a war, or someone who died in a fight. the victims of the monsters were unsuspecting. there was no war when they were killed; they were killed for fun.

but because you were technically an an angel, you could easily feel the anguish they experienced prior to their deaths. almost none of them had any idea that they would be killed so quickly and so brutally. they died in confusion and shock.

"mr. fitts claimed that a bear was on the loose, but i knew it was a lie— it didn't match their hibernation schedules." eugene's eyes raised when he remembered something, and he turned around to bring out another mason jar of honey. "speaking of monsters with sharp claws, could you give this to your roomie?" he handed it to wednesday, who only looked at it blankly. "i hear she's still sans date for the rave'n."

"eugene," wednesday said in a warning tone. you hid your chuckles behind a quick cough.

"i know the chances of her asking me are next to zero, but i don't care!" the poor boy was so optimistic that you had to fully turn your attention to the murder board to stop yourself from letting him down easily.

maybe you were getting a hang of not being too brutally honest.

"i'll continue to put myself out there until enid finally.. sees me," eugene sighed a lovesick sigh.

"and if she never does?" wednesday asked judgementally, a hint of jealousy in her tone. how unusual was it that the usual stone cold wednesday seemed only mildly perturbed that a kid wanted to ask enid out?"

"i'm playing the long game," eugene responded confidently, making another chuckle leave your lips. "my moms say people will appreciate me when i'm older. they're probably just trying to make me feel better."

poor kid.

"i know you're going to the rave'n, y/n. how did you end up asking xavier?" eugene asked innocently, but you only groaned in response.

"gods, this again. i had to ask him because wednesday and i got caught investigating," your mood soured at the reminder of having to go to the dance with xavier. if he thought that you were dressing up for him, he was as stupid as you thought. "i have ulterior motives, though."

"that sucks, but at least you have a date!" eugene said with that usual nonstop optimism of his. "but wednesday, are you not going to the rave'n?"

"no. everything on this murder board is far more pressing than a school dance." wednesday crossed her arms over her chest as she gazed at xavier's art. "sketches are the closest thing i have to a lead to try and stop this thing."

"that spiral thing the monster's standing on," eugene said, squinting through his glasses. "i think i know where that is."

eugene led you both to a huge spiral cave, the dark void inside doing nothing to calm the goosebumps you received upon your arrival. the entire thing felt like it had horrible negative energy and the feeling of eyes watching you never ceased. hesitantly, you let your sword appear, the metal glinting in the soft sunlight. you gripped the familiar handle as you began to walk closer to the cave with the both of them behind you.

"don't worry, y/n! i'm sure we'll be able to help you if the monster is in here!" eugene chuckled nervously, following close behind your form.

"do you see anything?" wednesday asked you, but as you peered into the deep hole, you found nothing but darkness.

"no." you shook your head, "we'd have to go in if we wanted to find something."

"i can't go in there." eugene shook his head rapidly, stepping back from the cave. "i'm claustrophobic."

you were already going into the cave, your steps careful at the steep entrance and your head bowed low. wednesday looked at eugene. "if you hear us screaming bloody murder, i'm probably enjoying it. y/n, not so much." with that, the turned back to the cave and went after you.

eugene sighed before following closely behind wednesday.

the den of the cave was a lot wider and taller than its entrance. you looked down at the bones that were near your feet. you were thankful that they were deer bones.

eugene's flashlight landed on a pair of chains that hung on the wall of the cave. you reached forward with your sword and moved it. your sword went up to trace the scratched that were on the wall of the cave, your lips tugging into a frown. "these chains are strong, but not strong enough," you thought out loud.

"yahtzee." wednesday crouched down to pull a claw out of a crack in the cave. "this will be our concrete proof to the sheriff," she said to you.

that was how you found yourself at xavier's studio yet again, looking around xavier's trash bin. it was wednesday's plan, but you offered to go inside instead of her; you probably had more leeway. so while you were inside, wednesday was out in the bushes, and thing was keeping watch near the door.

one of your hands held a ziplock bag as you used a paintbrush to poke around his trash. a victorious smile tugged at your lips when you found a bloodied rag at the very bottom. "gotcha."

the sound of the door creaking made you quickly put the napkin in the ziplock bag and pocket it, your body turning away form the trash. you were face to face with xavier, who only seemed shocked that you were inside.

"the hell are you doing in here?" xaiver asked, obviously annoyed by your sudden entrance.

"are you sure that the monster's just been in your visions?" you asked him, looking at the huge canvases dedicated to one monster. "or are these self portraits?"

"you cannot be serious right now," xavier laughed bitterly, but you continued on, taking a step towards him.

"you saved wednesday's life once. the monster was attacking rowan when he was attacking wednesday— it practically saved her." your tone was becoming more accusatory by the second, your brows knotting together as the pieces began to fall into place.

"this is literally the painting that came to life and swiped at me," xavier nodded to a nearby canvas of an unfinished painting of the monster. "cmon, y/n. i've explained myself to you so many times—"

"and the lair in the woods?" you asked, cocking your head to the side. "from one of your sketchbooks. you drew the monster in its lair, thorpe."

xavier's face contorted into a pained expression. he wasn't sure what he expected from you; a part of him did think that your ask was genuine. it was all too complicated for him to explain— it was like he liked that you asked him but didn't at the same time. it was all too much of a mess to make any sense of it, but as he stood in front of you while you interrogated him, it suddenly all made sense.

"you were in here. god, of course," xavier laughed in disbelief, "when i caught you outside. you were just snooping around in here." he shook his head to himself, the overall disbelief being too much to comprehend. "you were just gonna use me, weren't you?"

"gods, no—"

"no, you were," xavier hissed, "what were you gonna go to the dance with me and ask me for more info? is that it, so that you and wednesday can prove i'm the monster? i've explained myself enough for you both to believe me."

"it's nothing personal, thorpe, jesus christ."

he chuckled darkly to himself, his voice raising as he said, "nothing is ever personal with you, y/n," he spat, the comment making your facade fall for a second. "no one knows anything genuine about you. your roommates barely know a thing about you because you're so fucking guarded all the time! do you even care about anyone or anything that isn't even remotely violent?"

you swallowed thickly, your mouth opening to defend yourself before xavier continued to speak.

"all you know is war."

he didn't understand.

"fuck you," you seethed, shoving past him as you made your way out of the studio. you walked towards where wednesday was hidden in the bushed, her expression blank as usual as you gave her the bloodied rag. without another word, you walked back to your dorm.

xavier's words echoed in your head as you walked, your throat feeling constricted as you swallowed thickly.

all you know is war.

"fucking stupid," you muttered under your breath, angry tears slipping out of your eyes that you harshly wiped.

in a way, you knew that xavier was right.

it wasn't like you could help it— you were quite literally an angel of war —but you also knew that that wasn't an excuse for it all. your second eldest sister, eir, was millennia years old, and yet she was the most peaceful out of your siblings. whenever a disagreement would break out, she was there to help. whenever brunhilde and your father, odin, fought, eir was the one who stepped in.

she was a peacemaker as much as she was wonderful at her job. you always heard stories about her from your sisters; she never fought a war that she had tried to previously avoid.

you wished you were like her.

you turned a different corridor from where your dorm was located, finding yourself standing in front of weem's office door. taking a deep breath, you knocked. weems' muffled, 'come in!' made you open the door.

"y/n." weems seemed as shocked as you to find you standing at her doorway. her eyesbrows were raised high above her forehead as you shut the door behind you and walked towards her briskly.

"i need you," you swallowed thickly again. gods, you hated crying. "i need you to burn those old documents. the ones about my foster homes."

"you and i both know that i can't do that, y/n." weems' voice was calm as she placed her hands on her desk, clasping them together. "are you alright, dear?"

"i'm fine," you forced out, sniffing harshly, "i just— please, just burn them. get rid of them. anything."

weems sighed, bringing out your folder. she brought out the forms from your orphanage, all paperclipped together neatly. in the front was a photo of you when you were younger; barely 7, with two missing teeth missing as you smiled at the polaroid camera.

"i cannot burn these forms, y/n."

"they have everything about me that i've moved on from," your words were so quick that they seemed to mold together. you were frantic at this point, yet you took a deep breath to calm yourself. "my sisters had those forms terminated because i wanted to forget that part of my life."

"you cannot easily forget 13 years of your life, y/n," weems said concernedly, "it will be a part of you for the rest of your life."

"i don't want it to be," you spat bitterly, eyes burning with tears again as you practically pleaded with her. "i've worked so hard to forget that part of my life, so please. burn them."

"i cannot do that, y/n." weems was firm with her decision, which only made you sniff again, harshly wiping your nose.

you left weems' office abruptly, your obviously turmoiled mind making you go to the archery range. it was dark outside now, but you still found yourself stretching your wings out and flying over jericho. the cold air whipped your face as you tried to ignore xavier's words that still repeated like a mantra in your head.

all you know is war.

you were flying for hours it seemed, too deep in your thoughts to force yourself to return to your dorm. but you had to admit that it was a beautiful night; the full moon was out tonight, and you heard the distant howling of wolves in the forest. the stars were shining as bright as ever over your head as you flew.

flying gave you peace.

the next morning, you begrudgingly approached wednesday and eugene, both in deep conversation about the monster in the quad.

"y/n— we're going to stake out the cave and identify the monster." eugene said, obviously much too excited to be doing something dangerous. "oh wait; i forgot you were going to the dance."

"not anymore," you stated dryly, hands holding onto the straps of your backpack. you glanced at eugene and wednesday and shook your head. "i'm not gonna explain." you looked over at xavier, who was working on his raven mural. he glanced at you only briefly before focusing on his mural again.

that night, you shoved on a black backless longsleeve as you got ready to stake out with eugene. you had to be ready in case anything happened; you brought your sharpest knives and packed snacks to keep yourself full of energy. you put on an black leather jacket over your clothes, turning to wednesday, who was also getting ready.

the jacket was your father's. it was one of the few things he had given you the last time he saw you.

a knock on the door made you turn your head, wednesday yelling, "coming eugene!" as she walked over.

"hey, did you grab any extra batteries for the flash—tyler." her voice died in her throat when she saw the barista standing at the doorway.

"tyler?" you peeked over the side of the door, eyebrows raising when you saw the boy's all-white getup and the corsage in his hands. "wednesday, i thought you weren't going to the dance," you said cautiously, sending the pigtailed girl a look.

"i got your invite," tyler stammered, holding up an envelope. "i'm guessing you had thing drop it in the tip jar?"

you snorted as you returned to packing your things, thing climbing up your bed as they made a sign that looked a lot like laughing. "it was you, wasn't it?" you asked amusedly, and thing nodded proudly.

"good guess." wednesday forced out, and you chuckled to yourself as their conversation died into the background.

"are you sure you're not going to the dance?" thing asked you, making you sigh as you shoved your flashlight into your backpack.

"i'm staying away from socializing for a while," you said in response, eyes cold as you finally zipped up your backpack. "it's prbably for the best."

"that sounds like the opposite of what you should do," thing signed.

"it's whatever. my sisters were right, anyway." the door shut on tyler as wednesday quickly walked to her closet, obviously bothered by thing's interference.

"genuine and sweet? how could you do this to me?" wednesday asked, fully betrayed by thing as she rummaged through her closet. "can you believe it, y/n? he actually believed i would write a sweet letter— how oblivious."

"truly." you glanced at thing as they pointed at a dress on wednesday's bed. it was a beautifully gothic dress, one that you were sure was made for wednesday, but you found yourself frowning. "are you not gonna stake out with eugene and i?"

"no, i can't. not after what thing pulled—"

"c'mon wednesday, just admit that you wanna go with tyler to the dance," you groaned, throwing your backpack over your back. "i'm gonna head out. don't do anything i wouldn't do."

the entire main entryway of nevermore was decked out for the rave'n. white cloth hung from the different entrances, and light up trees created a frame over doorways. people passed by you left and right, all dressed in complete white for the occasion.

you walked by bianca and xavier, xavier's eyes avoiding yours just as easily as you avoided his.

"where's wednesday?" eugene asked you as you walked down the steps. he was just as ready as you were, dressed in multiple layers and with his backpack practically bulging with what you knew were snacks.

"she decided to go to the dance. it'll just be us tonight," you said eugene, fixing the straps of your backpack. you watched his face fall, and you nudged him to try and lighten the mood. "it'll be okay. wednesday rarely willingly goes to events like the rave'n; she can sit this stake out out."

"it was her idea, though." eugene said sadly, following you as you walked out of the building.

you walked out into the woods with eugene, the night air cold against your face as you twirled a knife in your hand absentmindedly. thankfully, it seemed to be a pretty quiet night, as the only sounds were coming from the crickets and the wind.

"do you two really think that xavier is the mosnter?" eugene asked you as he pulled his second granola bar out of his backpack, opening it and taking a bite.

"he's a suspect. that's all." the cave came into view, and you crouched down near a nearby tree. "we can stay here." you made yourself comfortable as you leaned up against the tree, eugene sitting next to you.

he pulled out a recorder and began to talk into it. "eugene ottinger and—" he motioned for you to speak into it, and you sighed as you moved your head closer.

"y/n odinsdottir."

"2100 hours," eugene continued, "no movement at the cave. no sign of the target." the sound of a rather large grasshopper rang in his ears, and he smiled fondly. "although, i just heard a rare club-horned grasshopper."

you smiled softly to yourself as you listened to him. he reminded you a lot of the friends you made at your foster homes; all of them were bright and intelligent kids, all with their own specific interests that they never stopped talking about. when you were younger, you liked to listen to them. but depending on the house, they often lacked the freedom to speak so freely of their interests.

people weren't kind.

you both sat comfortably for nearly 2 hours, talking occasionally to each other. eugene was too busy snacking to talk most of the time, and when he did talk, he talked about bees and bugs. you swore you never met someone who could tell you the scientific name for practically every bug imaginable. sometimes, he even left your post to catch rare bugs.

"do you like, understand nordic?"

eugene's question made you snap out of your little bubble, your head turning away from the cave to glance at him.

"old norse, yeah," you replied, managing a tight lipped smile. "it's kind of automatic; comes with the whole valkyrie thing."

"that's so cool! i mean, i wish i could talk a whole other language. one some people might be able to understand, not just bees," eugene said casually. he had caught a bug moment before, and he was staring at it as he spoke.

your eyes drifted back to the cave, squinting as a car pulled up nearby it. you shushed eugene, your hand reaching for one of your knives.

"eugene ottinger and y/n odinsdottir. 22:42 hours." eugene whispered behind you as you grabbed some binoculars to look closer. usually you'd rely on your heightened eyesight, but you needed to gather as much evidence of the suspect as you could. "potential subject has arrived at location."

your brows knotted together as you watched the figure light something on fire and throw it into the cave. but suddenly, the figure's flashlight flashed towards you and eugene, the sudden brightness blinding you from seeing their face. but you felt like something was wrong, because right as the figure turned away and ran, you immediately turned around, your wings appearing to surround you and eugene.

the sound of an explosion made your ears ring, your arms wrapping around eugene tightly to keep him within the bubble of your wings. the fire was hot against your feathers as you waited for a second before letting eugene go. "we need to go. now."

eugene nodded frantically before the both of you ran back to nevermore. you let eugene run ahead of you, fearful that whoever was behind you would get to him first. you grabbed eugene, pulling him aside behind a tree. you raised your finger to your lips before whispering to him.

"i'm gonna carry you and fly out of here, got it?" you asked, and eugene could only nod quickly. your arms wrapped around eugene, ready to fly, until a pained groan left your lips.

long claws dug into your wings, staining the white of your wings red. the air was torn out of you as the monster lifted you up, your kicking doing nothing as you were lifted by the end of your wings.

you were horrified when you looked at eugene, who had a very faint golden glow around him.

when a glow was faint, that meant it was only up to the gods to decide whether or not he would survive.

"run!" you yelled at eugene, who quickly snapped out of his trance to run further towards nevermore.

you were held up in front of the monster, too far away from its body to make genuine damage. it was intelligent enough to know that it had to keep you from looking at it; being face to face with it would mean you could bring genuine damage. drops of your blood dropped onto the forest floor as the claws dug deeper into your back and your wings. you could feel the warm liquid seep down your back. you grabbed your made your sword appear, forcefully reaching behind you as you sliced the monster's arm.

but it did nothing to deter it. if anything, it only angered it more, its roar ringing wildly in your ears. it swatted your sword away with its free hand, making it land far away from you.

the monster used its free hand to grab your desperately flapping wings, taking one of them and bending them in half with a sickening crack.

and with that, you let out a bloodcurdling scream. it was as though someone had broken your spine and your leg all at once; the pain shot through your body like poison, and you found yourself sobbing as the pain seared you.

the monster reached for your other wing, which flapped twice as hard as you tried to escape its hold. but its claws were hooked into your skin and the roots of your wings, stopping you from fully escaping.

another scream left your lips as your other wing broke in half, the pain stabbing you yet again.

the wings, the only thing that ever gave you peace, were lifeless as the monster slammed you into the ground. the monster was smart enough to slam you back first into the cold ground, making you let out another scream as your clawed back and your broken wings harshly met the dirt.

your anguished screams echoed through the woods, reaching the ears of a running wednesday as she made her way down the forest. she had seen everything happen in her vision and was too panicked to tell others as she ran towards you and eugene.

but xavier was following behind her. he had lost sight of her ages ago, but your screams made his heart thump faster as he ran further into the woods.

eugene's cry for help made you try and sit up, a gut wrenching cry leaving your lips at the pain that shot harshly through your body. you couldn't get up— you were far too weak and losing far too much blood to fully raise your body.

"y/n?" xavier's yell made you try and sit up again, to no avail. your wings were limp on your back and too damaged to the point that you couldn't even fold them back into your back.

"xavier? xavier!" you yelled loudly, frantically looking around you. but all you saw were the tall trees and the darkness that surrounded you.

but xavier saw you before you saw him. you were on the ground, your wings bent horrifically around you as you tried to sit up again, a pained cry leaving your lips. you were able to get up, but the blood still seeped out of you like a leaking faucet.

"y/n, stop," xavier rushed towards you, trying to make you lay down, only for you to try and push him off with a bloodied hand. you didn't even ask why he was covered in what you saw was fake blood, the adrenaline making you too frantic as you shoved his hands away. "what happened?!"

"eugene. where's eugene?" you asked as xavier tried to make you stay seated. your eyes burned with tears as you looked around you for the kid, desperation in your tone as you shoved xavier again. "xavier, where's eugene?" your voice cracked as you put your hands on the forest floor and tried to put yourself up, only for xavier to stop you.

"y/n, you cannot get up. we need to get you help—"

"where's eugene?!" you snapped, tears shining as your eyes met xaviers. he swore that he never wanted to see you like that again; your voice breaking as you spoke, blood staining your face and nothing but desperation in your face.

"wednesday probably found him." xavier's eyes widened as you tried to stand up again. he put his hands on your shoulders. "can you just care about your health for one second?!"

"i can't," you cried out, shoving his hands off of your shoulders. yet again you tried to get up, but xavier put his hands on your shoulders and stopped you again. "i couldn't protect him," you cried, still trying to push xavier off of you. "stop stopping me xavier!"

"you did everything you could, y/n, please," xavier begged. he grabbed your head and held you to his chest as you sobbed. you tried to punch him away, your hits against his back and stomach still relatively strong. but you were too weak to fight anymore, your hands falling at your sides as you cried into his chest. tears dripped down xavier's eyes as he listened to your pain. he felt your arms slowly wrap around him, gripping his shirt in your hands.

"i couldn't protect him. he had the glow and i couldn't protect him," you sobbed, feeling xavier hold you tighter as you continued to cry. you felt his hand brush your hair down as you sobbed.

you sobbed for eugene, the kid you told yourself you would protect, now equally as mauled as you were. you sobbed for how weak you were against a monster; you should've done more. you sobbed for your wings, how they laid lifeless next to you as you cried like a child.

"i tried. i really tried," you whimpered.

in your mind, you should've tried harder. if you weren't so focused on making sure eugene was safe then you would've been able to save him.

"i know, y/n. i know." xavier swallowed thickly as his eyes drifted to your limp wings, lifeless on the forest ground. one of the bones was protruding out of your skin, blood dripping down the wound. your once pure white wings were stained crimson under the moonlight.

you turned your head to try and look at them, only for xavier to keep your head to his heaving chest. "don't." he said softly.

you tried to move them, but you couldn't feel anything but pain. "no, no, no," you tried to move them again, groaning in pain as you did, but they wouldn't move. "why can't they move? xavier, why can't they move—" you were frantic, and all xavier could do was hold you.

ACT V, ACT VI

#AUTHORSNOTE— xavier and the reader are so the neighborhood and arctic monkeys coded it's crazy. thank you for reading, and the next part will be out asap bc i'm excited to write it

#TAGLIST— @gamorxa @rayliz793 @cali-888 @targaryensswp @hopefulfuturenovelauthor @just-amess @maystecc @cmac-writes @ahnneyong @importantpuppyshark @mannstarkey @alienm0vie @carinacassiopeiae @simonsbluee @g3org1al33 @killmewithafanfic @nattheartless13 @astrynyx @idontknowwhattodo35 @addisonnie @wxnderingthoughts @r1dd1kulus @smol-book-nerd @555stargirl555 @wonderlandco @siriuslysmoking @skye231 @boomitsallie1 @southernraven @buckleylips @yunoguns @theprettytragic @levylovegood @slut4fictionalcharacters28

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anonvkirkped · 2 months

Text

Exposing @/Kirkped.

hello everyone, i will stay anon for this callout but you may know who i am, or know my story. I dont wish to cause anything but i just want people within the fandom to know what this person has done.

TW / CW for: grooming, arguing, suicide and suicide baiting, racism, slurs, splitting.

for background info, kirkped goes by multiple within this callout, timmy and xochi. Kirkped has mental illnesses which cause them to lash out and i understand that, yet over time this was just abuse, they claimed they were trying and attempting to get better, but often lied and only got worse. Continuing to blame mental illness when i feel it is no excuse, being mentally ill does not give a right to abuse.

i have attempted to blur out all names. And give proof.

————————

starting off with something important: The racism, timmy is kirkped and has been confirmed by kirkped themselves. They lied about being black when in reality being asian. Went on for around a while. Said the N word multiple times.

—————-

Next up just general abuse:

These screenshots are from when i posted a video of me and them playing roblox, friend saw it and brought it up. Friends talked about how they were abusive and i wont stop going back, yet xochi told me to tell them it was due to their mental illness.

kirkped getting upset im busy on my birthday party, i get they need the attention but i told them before i would be busy that day.

One of xochis friends, i had blocked xochi and they told them to contact me. I didnt want to talk anymore yet they wouldnt take no for an answer.

Suicide baiting, they did this 24/7. They copied and pasted this and sent it to a bunch of people. Made me lose my mind.

Them getting upset just recently after we sadly spoke again after months, i didnt want to talk anymore due to being triggered and they exploded on me.

—-

This is just insane.

and also

Them ignoring my triggers

———

this is the first callout ive ever made, xochi has caused great pain to me and others, their relationship has caused me to dissociate, have panic attacks so bad i shut down, and get triggered and cry every time i enter the basement: where they suicide baited and made me cry and scream over call while i his from my family, it was a painful night.

i have needed professional help to recover, im still shaken up. Im still so extremely traumatized to the point of abusing drugs to force myself to forget the past. This is only a chuck of everything but im not sure what else to add. Im scared, i dont understand why they keep coming back, they keep pretending theyre fine when they need help, i dont want to cancel them. I just want them to realize they hurt others and many wish them to stay away from the internet.

please understand. Its 3 am and im very scared. I am traumatized over kirkped. I wish no one else has to go through the same, please block. I am not the only one either, i just havent gotten other views yet.

-anon.

#madness combat #madness project nexus #madcom #madness combat fanart #call out post #project nexus

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shurislover · 2 years

Text

Surprise Pregnancy

Letitia Wright x Black Fem Reader

You hid your pregnancy from Letitia for about 3 months now. You know she’s wanted kids for the longest and you were happy to make that wish come true for her.

A/N : mentions of m!scarriage & b!ood.

mom!letitia mom!reader pregnant!reader

idk how many words i don’t count lol

————————————————————————-

Flashback

Guilt is what you felt. You felt like it was your fault. You blamed yourself non stop for having a miscarriage. Despite Letitia comforting you and letting you know things happen , and we never know what God has planned for us.

You still had this feeling deep down that it was your fault.

———

“ Baby I don’t feel okay , my stomach is in pain again and I’m not sure why .”- You whined as you spoke to your girlfriend on the phone

“ I’m on my way right now, does it feel like cramps , like the same pain you’ve been feeling since like yesterday ?”- Letitia questioned

You watched through facetime as she sped through the streets of London, whispering curse words if people were in her way or not moving

“ Yeah but it feels worse this time , I think - you breathed slowly

“ I think i’m gonna call 911 I don’t feel okay.” - You felt hot tears rolling down your face

“ Baby I’m pulling in the driveway.”- Letitia replied

Not even 2 seconds , your girlfriend burst through the door to find you on the floor. She picked you up bridal style and carried you to the car

“ I hope the baby is okay, I really do.”- You whispered. “ I hope so too .”- Letitia nodded and she drove off to the emergency room.

The pain would go away and then come back. But each time it came back the pain would be worse. It felt like getting kicked in the stomach multiple times. You both arrived at the hospital and Letitia took no time to carry you bridal style into the emergency room.

“ Hello how may I help you guys today ?”- The nurse smiled

“ My- my girlfriend is having stomach pains. She’s about 13 weeks pregnant and has been having pain off and on for about 2 days now .”- Letitia replied

“ Has she had any bleeding ?”- She questioned

“ Not anything heavy. It’s been really light or spotty. But today it was a little more heavy than before .”- You groaned

“ I will have someone with you very soon , please take a seat in the waiting area .” The nurse replied

You both took a seat in the waiting room , you hated being here. You never liked seeing people sick or in pain so you avoided coming to the emergency room but this time you needed to come. You needed to make sure your baby was okay. In the back of your mind you were worried, like really worried. This worry had you thinking the worse.

“ Y/N Y/L/N ?”- A female nurse called out

As you stood up you felt liquid rolling down your leg.

“ Baby you’re bleeding.”- Letitia whispered

Before you were able to get any words out you started to feel lightheaded and suddenly everything went black.

—

Letitia’s POV

“ She should be waking up soon.” - The nurse reassured

You were were worried. You’ve never seen your girlfriend pass out before. You were worried for not only her but for the baby.

“ Do you know why she passed out and is the baby okay? “- You questioned

“ She passed out due to low electrolytes, so she has an IV right now.”-

“ And i’m sorry to tell you this…

Letitia started to breath heavily , she was about to hear a sentence she never wanted to hear

“ You girlfriend has suffered a miscarriage, i’m so sorry Ms.Wright.”- The nurse frowned

As tears rolled down your cheeks you heard your name being called

“ Baby where are you ?”-

You ran back into your girlfriends hospital room and kissed her forehead “ I’m right here baby , how are you feeling ?”- You spoke while trying to hide the pain in your voice.

“ I’m so tired. What even happened?”- She questioned

“ You passed out.”

“ Is the baby okay ? Please tell me the baby is okay ?”- She whined

You watch as she started to slightly panic, you grabbed her hand and gave her a quick kiss.

“Baby.. you had a miscarriage “- Your girlfriend snatched her hands away and turned her back towards you

“ Is it my fault ?” -She questioned

“ No “- You slightly shouted back

“ None of this is your fault baby, things happen.” You replied

end

——-

Y/Ns POV

A year had passed and you both decided to try having a baby again. When you got a positive test you decided on keeping it to yourself because you didn’t want to get Letitia’s hopes up again.

You didn’t show very much but you did have a small belly which you blamed on weight gain from all the food you’d eat on the different vacations you went on.

“ Baby can you come to the kitchen i have something for you “- You shouted

You heard your girlfriend run down the steps “Keep running in the house and you’re going to bust your ass”- you laughed

“ You’d kiss it to make it feel better “- Letitia smirked

“Anyways I have a surprise for you. “ You handed her a small box “ I worked really hard on this so I hope you love it. “

“ I love everything you give me baby. “ She pulled you close and pecked you on your lips

You stood back and watched her carefully untie the ribbon on the box. The first thing she noticed when she opened the box was a note.

“ Buckle up an adventure is about to begin “

“ Ooo are we going on a trip ?” She asked “ You have to finish opening the box”- You added

She pulled out a small white t-shirt

“ Girl ? who is this gonna fit”- Letitia questioned

“ Turn it around “- You jokingly sighed. She turned the shirt around which had

“ Baby Wright Loading 2023”

Letitia looked at you, then looked at the shirt and in the box where your positive pregnancy test laid

“ No fucking way.” -She whispered

“Yes fucking way , 3 months today baby “ -You smiled and rubbed your belly

Letitia quickly stood up and pulled you into a hug, you could feel her tears on your shoulder as she rested her head in the crook of your neck.

“ We having a baby “ - You whispered

Letitia pulled away and smiled. “ I’m so in shock, I’m so lost for words. I’m just so overwhelmed with happiness.”

“ Hiding this from you was so hard, but so worth it, i was scared to get your hopes up again because we all knew what happened last time.”- You shrugged

She pulled you in for a tight hug. “ Baby I love you so much it hurts. Im gonna always stuck beside you no matter what, I don’t care what goes on in our relationship I’m gonna stick beside you. God really blessed us with another miracle and im forever grateful I get to experience this with you.” Letitia smiled

————————————————————————

trying to think if i like this one lmao. idk. but it’s something to put out while i work on my other story.

#shuri x reader #shuri x you #letitia wright #letitia x reader #shuri angst #shuri imagine #shuri udaku #wakanda forever

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gwenboucharddidnothingwrong · 6 months

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i think we can all agree that it’s not gonna be as simple as ‘arthur gets his daughter back, john and arthur get to live separately’ right? but what if it was? (well not quite but hear me out)

kayne has shown that he’s able to interact with faroe in other timelines, and also transport people (john and arthur atleast) between those timelines, but would he really be capable of creating a whole new faroe for arthur even if he is telling the truth? or of giving john his own body? i don’t think so.

i reckon that, for kayne to bring back faroe in the ‘middle c’ universe, he’d have to take her out of another timeline, which would cause all sorts of problems elswhere. (although tbh i wouldn’t put it past kayne. he doesn’t seem all that bothered as to what effects his actions have on other timelines). even if arthur got faroe back, would he just be forced to let her go/have her taken away from him because of some interdimentional reasons beyond his control?

also, what’s so special about the arthur in our timeline? i mean, kayne is most likely not even from the ‘middle c’ timeline, and the whole ‘darkthur’ thing shows he’s been following what’s been going on in the other timelines. who’s to say he’s not been making empty promises to every other arthur and john? AND IF HE HAS WHAT WOULD THAT MEAN (does he need the same thing from multiple timelines?? tbh i don’t think this point is particularly likely, but just putting it out there)

and as for john getting his own body - he wouldn’t be getting his own back. unless kayne is planning on reuniting him with the king in yellow, where the hell would he be getting that body from? would it be human? would it not? (OR HE COULD JUST PUT HIM IN PARKERS DEAD BODY SSJSJDJGJKFJGG)

the promises he made them are really vague which makes me think he’s definitely not giving them the full picture of the deal they’re making (i mean considering it’s kayne we’re talking about i guess that was a given but still).

also i get that, considering the threats that kayne has made, they don’t have much of a choice but to do what he’s told them to, but what about the repercussions of giving kayne what he wants? it’s clearly not gonna be anything good, and now i come to think of it we know next to nothing about his actual motives. so far he’s pretty much just showed up, killed people, and caused problems.

i’m gonna be real i wasn’t paying that much attention at this point in the episode so i can’t actually remember exactly what he wanted arthur and john to get, but considering the threats he made to make sure they didn’t have any option but to do what he wanted, it’s gotta be really important to him.

and tbh, i’ve got a feeling kayne is working for someone, or atleast being made to do this. he went to some pretty big lengths to prove to john and arthur not only how much power he had, but to make it clear what he was willing to do with that power. i don’t actually have much evidence to back this point up tbh but IVE GOT A FEELING ABOUT IT OK

and also why does he need arthur to do it? is it arthur specifically that he needs for whatever reason? i mean that would make sense, why else would kayne be forcing him to do it, and why else would he have gotten john to try and make arthur get that stone (was that what it was? again, i’m bad at following for the whole hour) in new york.

but has he made them do whatever it is because he knows something will happen? has he made all those promises to john and arthur knowing it won’t matter either way because they aren’t going to make it back?

tldr, even if kayne were to give john and arthur what he said he would, there’s no way it would be as simple as he says it is

(wow, didn’t expect this post to go on for so long, well done for reading if you got up to here, have an unrelated doodle i drew in my physics book below the cut and go drink some water or something)

(his name is jumbo!)

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #kayne malevolent #john malevolent #arthur lester #faroe lester #long post #malevolent meta #excuse my spelling cba correcting it #malevolent spoilers #like i said i didn’t pay proper attention to the whole episode so do let me know if there’s any incorrect information in there #wrote this whole thing while listening to hamilton soundtrack lol #txt

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keto-keyes · 8 months

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The Misfit Gang (Slytherin Gang ff)

This is a OC insert imagine, with multiple parts. If you don't want to use the name ive chosen, feel free to insert your own :)

Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 Part 2

After the sorting, where a certain Harry Potter had been sorted into Gryffindor, Soren sat in between Pansy and a tall, dark skinned boy named Blaise. She'd been sorted into Slytherin, the house of the ancient De Villes from over 50 years before. It was the same house as a certain Draco Malfoy, but anything was better than being in Hufflepuff like the 20 nameless and useless family members before her.

Blaise didn't talk much, his eyes only on his food, but they'd exchanged a couple of words when the feast had been served and the school song finally finished. But as Soren saw it, it was better than nothing. At least she had a friend, and, by the sound of Pansy's animated conversation on her right, maybe even more.

"Can you pass the pumpkin juice?" asked a soft voice. Blaise's voice.

Soren glanced up from her steak, reached to grab the jug, and passed it to him, barely making noise.

"Here," she said, just as quietly, "Do you need anything else?"

They stared at each other for a moment, Blaise finding the words to say whatever was on his mind and Soren waiting to be answered, before he once again opened his mouth.

"Mmh... the custard tarts? I-if you don't mind," he mumbled.

'Not much of a talker,' Soren thought, 'But he's nice, I guess.' She passed him the plate of tarts and was about to turn back to her food when he spoke once more.

"T-thanks... Soren."

Soren almost jumped when he said her name, though quietly, and her head snapped to face him with a light blush.

"Oh! Y-you're welcome, Blaise," she replied, whispering almost, in case anyone was watching, "Anytime."

"Call me Zabini," he grunted, "'pparently it's a sign of weakness if you use first names in Slytherin. Malfoy said."

"O-of course," she answered, shivering at the mention of Malfoy.

She noticed he did the same when he said the blonde boy's name, and smiled hopefully up at him. He didn't return her smile, but nodded curtly instead.

-----------**-----------

In the Slytherin common room, a few days after the first years began school at Hogwarts, Soren and Blaise sat side-by-side in a dark corner. They both had homework (Pansy too but she refused to miss the girls' sleep-out), and although neither needed help and they didn't talk, the silence wasn't uncomfortable. Suddenly, Malfoy and his cronies sauntered over, smirking and laughing amongst themselves. Soren did her best not to look up at him, not to show fear. But when he stood above her and blocked out her light, she couldn't stop herself.

"Ha! I knew you'd be over here! See boys, the nerds are studying again!" Malfoy cackled, high-fiving one of them.

"P-please move," Soren whispered, not wanting a conflict.

Malfoy stuck his face next to hers, sneering, and grabbed her transfiguration book.

"What was that? Speak up when you talk to important people!" he jeered at her, flipping through pages of the book.

Soren turned away and, raising her voice the slightest bit, said, "I said - please move."

Malfoy laughed and dropped her book down on the table, shattering her quill's nib.

"My father is a big, wealthy wizard. I'll tell him if you say anything," he warned her in a sneer, the two brutes cracking their knuckles. Soren flinched.

Blaise jumped to his feet, throwing down his book and almost knocking the table over as he stood.

"Give it a REST Malfoy!" he growled, "Your dad couldn't care less about you, and you know it! Shut up and leave her ALONE!"

For once, Malfoy shut up and walked off. His cronies shot Blaise dirty looks but still they, too retreated. Puffing, Blaise flopped back down onto his seat and wiped his brow.

"Thank you, Zabini," Soren whispered, touching his arm.

He looked at her for a second, seeing how shaken she was, then picked up his quill and held it out to her.

"You're welcome Soren," he replied, taking her broken quill and stuffing it in his own bag. He thought for a second before adding, "And, you know, you can call me Blaise. I don't really care about strength and weakness, OR what Malfoy says anymore."

Smiling at him and taking the quill, Soren nodded.

"You're a good friend, Blaise," she said softly.

#harry potter #draco malfoy #mattheoxreader #mattheo riddle #lorenzo berkshire #tom riddle #theodore nott

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cdfreak · 8 months

Note

Its wild cause like. That Post from yesterday almost makes a point with stuff like disabled butches feeling invalidated and (white cis) femmes sometimes not rly respecting butches as people but like. 1 ive seen a fair amount of posts and general appreciation of disabled butches and TONS of posts by femmes abt cherishing and even "protecting" butches yk clearly this is a conversation thats happening. And 2 why be such a ridiculous fucking mra about it. Simply dont be in the butch community if thats how u feel damn

GENUINELY... i wont pretend its the same as lifelong disability but ive had fluctuating chronic pain for like 7 years and multiple injuries and the femmes in my life have never made me feel anything but supported and loved and protected in like their own specifice femme way and i Love it so much i get so much fulfillment and joy from my friendships with femmes as a butch like if you are feeling like nobody is protecting disabled butches thats because the only people ur talking to are assholes.... op of that post mentioned in their faq they spend like 99.9% of their time indoors and Yeah i can tell. This is the type of take that comes from only witnessing butch/femme dynamics through like shitty tumblr posts. if you hate butchness so much Dont call yourself butch its like not hard... the femme disrespect in that post was too much i was like shaking i was so angry when i first read it

#asks

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halfsizehellboy · 1 year

Text

oh man okay. more thinking

hot shit do i feel enlightened bc audhd House makes so much sense to me!!! he surrounds himself with chaos and novelty and stimulation but still adheres to things that don't change-- his apartment, when he lives in it, it always set up the same way. it's mentioned he's had the same guitar for many years, as well as numerous medical texts. He uses his same red mug all the time at the hospital (he has a designated hospital mug. it lives at the hospital and he only uses it at the hospital). he is very adamant about his office space-- it only changes drastically for him in season 8. just before he leaves. he and Wilson have a fun schedule-- bowling nights, poker nights, etc-- and he does spontaneous stuff all the time, but he orchestrates it. he enacts enrichment time for his fellows and Wilson. he canonically spaces out during/stops processing conversations all the time because he's thinking. he will forget to do basic things while on cases, and there's that one episode where he stays up all night because he's cooking something. he is the king of "shit i forgot to eat. i forgot to shower and pee. i forgot--"

while im thinking of eating!! he has that bad hunger recognition. he will forgo eating for days for cases, fixations, pain levels. he usually eats off of wilson's plate anyways, and i think wilson mainly eats because he's made it part of routine, and that if he forgets to eat house definitely forgets to eat, and that usually ends badly. i dont think house has any specific avoidances but he does usually go for pizza, or anything wilson's made. he likes fries.

the adhd bit makes him more prone to addiction (it's a real thing) and he does show those behaviors (vicodin, alcohol). he has to have either the puzzles or the substances, taking him off both fucked with him a lot (mayfield and afterwards). in prison he got managed doses of vicodin, and he was getting antsy and desperate for the challenge of a good case towards the end of that arc. he all but jumps on that heat allergy guy, risking his chances of parole multiple times to try and get close. side note, did y'all see his equation scribblings on the wall by his bunk? hes so silly

ive also been thinking like. we see very large-scale self destructive behaviors from nearly everyone in the show but we don't see a lot of self-regulation outside of house's stimming so that means i get to make up my own and project onto wilson.

wilson spends a lot of time masking at work so we don't see him fully let loose and i think that he is a fan of full body movement. he's jumping up and down. he's pacing the apartment and swingin his arms. he sways and rocks in place. at the hospital and places that aren't safe he keeps the stim energy to his hands/fingers, or taps his foot/bounces his leg-- things easy enough for neurotypicals to pass off as nervous energy. he loves to click pens but he only does it when he's alone or with house because he knows that other people find it annoying (house doesn't care, he starts clicking/tapping too and it's like they're drumming together). he and house learned morse code and annoy the ducklings and cuddy with it all the time.

bad times wilson scratches a lot (this is me projecting btw). at his scalp, at his arms, anywhere he can get to; and usually he's self conscious enough to do it where he can hide it under his clothes (house is unaffected and can tell anyways)(usually because he's there trying to help wilson stop scratching)(but if he's not he can still tell and wilson doesn't wanna know how). he also presses/rubs his face a lot (in general and not just bad times wilson), and bad times wilson gets abrasions on his eyelids/cheeks from his sweatshirt when he has a meltdown. i've seen another person talk about this, but i think he absolutely tears his cuticles up. he's managed to stop biting/tearing his nails down to nothing but between vigorous scrubbing for the OR and not liking lotion (sensory bad. i need it for my arms and the backs of my hands sometimes and i always wipe it off of my palms and fingers) his hands are so dry. house makes fun of him but he does carry around a nail file because he's trying to stop picking at his fingers regularly, and limit it to a bad times emergency regulatory behavior.

house fights meltdowns to the death. he hates having them, he hates having to be vulnerable like that (and that's a canonical trauma response). he has held one off through sheer will for an entire week before wilson called out sick for him and made him take a day off. they ended up taking a long weekend to recover. on the occasion they're both melting down at the same time, it's a multiple days affair. wilson will recognize what's happening and try to make sure everything in the apartment is low effort and accessible from the floor because house's meltdowns are more often than not pain response and that means that house stays on the floor. and when wilson is melting /neg he doesn't want to leave house. on a sillier(?) note they have a tally/competition for shortest meltdown (wilson), longest meltdown (house), fastest to meltdown (house), longest amount of time spent holding off a meltdown (house), most efficient meltdown (wilson), and most meltdowns located in the hospital (wilson).

man i'm gonna have to make a fic for this, it's getting wild just on posts

#audhd house #house md #autistic wilson #autism #adhd #tw scratching #tw picking #tw harmful self regulatory behaviors/stimming #sorry if i forget the tws for the other posts i m. tryin real hard :(

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starliights-shining · 2 years

Text

Party goer.

Pairing: Jazz x reader

Warnings: NSFW, fem word uses,

A/N: this is like 4400+ words and 8 pages in my docs, ive been working on it fro the past week or so. Its not proof read, i simply just dont proof read. I've been preoccupied with RE4s remake coming out soon, but i swear im not ignoring the TF request I have, it'll just take a long time for them to come out. :) anyways enjoy!

Parties, loud music, drinking, the mixing crowd of bots and people. You didn’t really care for them, but Jazz did. When you say a lot of parties, you mean a lot of parties. Ranging from weddings, funerals, battle victories, hell even political ones, Because if Jazz got an invite, he was going with you of course. This party was different. He got his invite from Prowl, but when Jazz brought the invite to you, it said in fancy italics “No Humans!”.

“It says no human Jazz. I'm not going to some stupid party just to be denied entry or worse bullied.”

“You won’t get bullied, you’ll be with me. For the last time (Y/N)”

You were on the couch, You looked at the bot, a disappointed frown on his face plate. The invitation is gently in your grasp, its fancy English writing and other language translations.

“I don’t know that Jazz, you want me to get all dressed up just to be denied entry or be sat outside the entire time?”

You placed the invasion on the coffee table. Leaning back into the couch, you were upset. Your lover was basically asking you to get dressed and all just to be denied entry to a party, no, you will not be doing that.

“You’re acting like I'm asking you to fight in a war, I’m not.”

“You, Jazz, you're not understanding.”

You're stuttering over your words, he was upsetting you.

“I am understanding, if you don’t want to go just tell me the real reason. Is it prowl? Is there someone else you’re avoiding?”

“I don’t want to be bullied at a party for being me, that's all Jazz.”

“Cut the slag, (Y/N).”

You were taken aback, why was he so upset with you.

“You know what, yes Jazz. It’s You and Prowl”

You were now standing up, he had finally gotten the same energy match. You were pissed.

“I dont want to go to a party, where I sit in a fucking corner by myself, and watch you and Prowl get fucking drunk. I don’t want to sit outside a fucking club or god fucking knows where, while you and your shit cop buddy go inside and get fucked up and hit on. Just go by yourself.”

You walked out of the living room, hell you were tempted to go for a walk. Instead you walk straight to your room. Locking the door and just sitting on the edge of your bed. How the hell could he just yeah at you like, over not wanting to go to a party that says “No Human.”

You woke up to a knock on the door. Multiple knocking, getting up you opened the door to see Jazz, his smile not wearing as you gave him a tired look.

“You wanna get ready, and like come with us?”

You stared into his visor, until the movement of Prowl behind him caught your attention. You sighed before motioning your head for him to enter and moved towards the bathroom. He closed the door behind himself, and followed you into the bathroom, leaning against the doorway.

“Are you still mad at me?”

His question felt stupid, of course you were still mad at him. He made you feel bad, how would he feel if you made him feel like shit for following directions. You took your clothes off and stepped into the shower.

“No, just tired.”

“Tired, tired of me?”

He laughed, he was trying to lighten the mood, considering he could probably feel the heavy atmosphere.

“I guess you could say something like that.”

“Alright well, I’ll be downstairs with Prowl, we’ll leave when you're ready.”

You actually don't know why you're going, you had expressed very aggressively why you didn’t want to go. Yet, the moment Jazz asked you didn’t hesitate. He just had that effect on you, a simple command and you’d do it, but he doesn’t ever want to understand your side. The noise of Jazz laughing took you out of your thoughts, the cold nipping at your skin as you three stood in the que line to get in. You peeked around the bot in front of you to see the line, an arrangement of all all types of people, but not a single human. You straighten up, standing behind the two mechs, an uneasy feeling washed over you. You truly felt like you weren’t supposed to be here. You felt someone bump into you, turning around, you were met with an ugly look.

“Sorry, I didn’t,” “I don’t care, just watch where you’re walking.”

They had cut off your apology, completely blaming you for the encounter. The person had tried to step in front of you, assuming the line ended right after Jazz and Prowl. You stepped back in our original spot, looking up at the person and smiling.

“Sorry, I was actually here before you.”

Bring your hand up to point at the spot you were standing at, the same spot you’ve been at, right behind the two Cybertronians. Jazz turned around at the sound of your voice. Looking between you and the person.

“Is there a problem?”

He placed that ‘I’ll act nice, but am i really’ smile on his face plate. You watched as the person backed up, looking at you with an upset look before mumbling no. Jazz pulled you to stand in front of him.

“Did something happen?”

“No, he was just trying to cut in line. Probably because I was human.”

You spoke, turning around and looking forward. This was the exact reason you didn’t want to come. You weren’t even inside yet and there was already someone trying to start something. All these other space people, some of them look like humans, You can’t tell the difference unless you ask them, and even then some won’t even admit they're human.

By the time you remember what you were here for, Jaz had already gotten both you and Prowl into the party.

Jazz bends down to your head level, before speaking.

“See, we’re in. No need to worry.”

You looked at him, why the fuck would he say that. He started walking towards an empty booth, sitting you inside.

“Now, Prowl and I have some things to attend to. Stay here, if anyone asks, you're waiting for someone.”

You nod, placing your hands in your lap. Before Jazz leaves he places a kiss on your forehead, causing you to look over at him, he smiles, snaps one of his servos before pointing a finger gun at you. You watched as he disappeared into the crowd, this is exactly how you thought it'd go. Being left in some strange club, while he goes off to go god fucking knows where. A waiter came up to your table asking if you wanted anything, considering you knew you’d be there for a long ass time. You ordered yourself something, anything to keep you occupied. The last thing you wanted was to think about your situation.

The waiter brought the drink out and after a few sips you just ended up swirling the liquid around. The mix of human and cybertronian alcohol mixed into a light neon blue. Maybe this was just part of the every plan, drag you out to a party and have you sit alone. You can't seem to figure out what comes after that, some random person hits on you or the Prowl keeps you company until Jazz comes back. The simple thought of having company while sitting here just kept creeping into your mind.

You were left with your own mind, something that can pull your moods up or down with just simple thinking, but considering you’ve been at this party for some time and no one seems to notice or care, it was time to just relax. You leaned back in the booth, your head resting on the stuffed leather as you closed your eyes. Pulling your drink close to you, but keeping your hand on it. You know closing your eyes in a foreign place isn’t the greatest thing to do, but who really cares, you didn’t want to come here anyways and hopefully Jazz or Prowl would return soon.

You were just getting comfortable when you felt a knock on the table. Your eyes open to see the familiar blue visor. He smiled at you before sitting around from you, a drink in hand.

“Whatcha doin?”

His tone was playful, it seems like his drink was really getting to him.

“Sitting here,”

You reply as you close your eyes again.

“I don't know, it seems like you were sleeping.”

“I was just resting my eyes.”

You lifted your hand up moving it around in front of your face in a shade gesture.

“That's bad because anyone could slip something into your drink.”

You shrugged, you knew he was right but you really didn’t want to admit he was, you were still upset at him. So instead you acted like you didn’t care.

“And then they’d kidnap you, my beautiful girlfriend.”

He was sweet talking you. He knew you were still upset at him and the thought of that simple just couldn’t exist within him. You didn’t respond, if he knew the true reason he’d recommend leaving, and you really like the drink you have and you're super comfortable.

“Now, tell me, why are your eyes closed? Is it the lights? Thinking about getting me in bed already?”

God now he was asking questions and his questions were getting out of hand, so you acted like you couldn't hear him over the loud music and chatter. You finally decided that keeping your eyes closed would mean no looking at Jazz, so you lifted your head. Making eye contact with his visor while pulling your cup up to your lips.

“Is there something I can help you with?”

You just wanted to know what he wanted, disturbing your peace in your small corner booth. He looked taken aback, he placed his free hand on his chassis and let out a dramatic gasp.

“I just wanted to see what my beautiful girlfriend was doin, am I not allowed to be with you.”

You rolled your eyes, is this really how he was trying to get on your good side?

“And now you’ve seen, Don’t you have things to attend to, like,”

You paused looking around the crowded room, your eyes scanning for anything that looked of interest or be of interest to Jazz. You saw multiple people dancing, a group of girls getting drunk and being hit on by some space robot, the DJ trying to keep up with everyone's requests, the bartender yelling at someone for hitting on her, and then your eyes landed on Prowl. The cop sat with a lady at the bar, that was your goat out, Jazz would see Prowl finally getting some and then it’d be enough to convince him to either wingman for him or leave with you. You lifted your hand with your cup in it, your index finger pointing towards the bot.

“Like Prowl, He seems to have found himself a lady.”

Jazz whips his helm around, searching the bar for the bot.

“I don’t believe it.”

He trailed off as he turned back to you. Now was the time he’s supposed to get up and go talk to them, get her to fall in love with his close friend, but for some reason, he doesn’t. He leans back into his spot in the booth, taking a sip of the drink he harbored. A sly smile on his face as he watches your face.

“Was that your plan to get rid of me?”

You sighed, downing the last bit of your drink. You shifted your position in the booth, Placing your arms on the table as you leaned in. He leans in himself, that same smile on his face. Your eyes trail from his visor to his lips and then down his chassis and finally to his servos. Your eyes flicking back up to his visor and then back to his drink. Learning a tad bit more and smiling.

“Yeah, kinda hoped it would work, maybe I could get you to leave me the fuck alone.”

You said his smile fading as he started to move back to his original position, your hands swiftly grab his cup, It being slightly larger than yours, as you bring it up to your lips, taking in the liquid. You thought it tasted ten times better then whatever the fuck you hand before.

“You little,”

he was cut off as you got up from the booth, placing the cup back on the table. Since Jazz wasn’t going to wingman for Prowl, you thought you’d do it. Walking towards the bot, you felt a pair of metal arms wrap around you .

“Where do you think you're going little miss.”

Jazz’s voice being heard a little too clearly in your ear, you giggled, leaning back into him. You moved to grab his arms.

“I wanna go tell Prowl that we’re leaving,”

You lied, the original plan being thrown out the window the moment Jazz grabbed you, the same thought about how you’d do anything for him.

He hummed his response letting god of you and settling for just holding your hand as you dragged him towards the bot. As you got closer until you got the attention of Prowl, You put on your brightest smile and gave a big wave.

“Prowl,”

You drew out his name, His optics met your eyes.

“Jazz and I are going home, I thought I’d tell you just in case you were to leave later and couldn’t find us.”

He nodded, after getting confirmation you looked towards the lady, smiling before turning back to Prowl and waving. You turned around and started to leave. Walking through the crowd of people and to the door, you could feel the occasional squeeze from his servos.

The feeling of the cold night breeze hit your face hard, shivering as Jazz moved to stand next to you while letting go of your hand. Fresh air never felt better, a deep breath coming from you, eyes closed relaxed. It seemed like the headache you had while in the building disappeared the moment you stepped outside. The noises of cars and other city noises take over your ears.

“Soo, what do you wanna do now,”

He paused, you opened your eyes to look over at him and smiled.

“I know you didn't actually want to go home, come on, you look too good to just go home.”

He moved his servos in a gesturing motion towards your outfit, yeah you did like your fit and did think it was kinda too early to go home, but you didn’t need him to know that.

“We could just go for a walk, see what we see.”

You suggested, bringing your hands up to the sides of your arms, the chill of the air seeping to your bones. You started in a direction, the bot following behind you. You could hear the sound of whirling from his intake.

“Got anywhere special you wanna go?”

He moved up to walk next to you, a smile on his face plate as he analyzed your reaction. The city was large, and you could practically go anywhere you wanted. So you thought, trying to come up with something cool other than just going home. Cool, something cool for Jazz to enjoy. He could just enjoy your company, but the idea of a walk didn’t really seem to interest him whatsoever.

“It's okay if you don't have anything to do. I already dragged you to that party,”

He paused, he was thinking, your eyes met with his visor. Your reflection looking back at you in the shiny blue material. At that moment, you thought you could look at yourself for the rest of your life through that visor, a visor brighter than the blue sky. You didn’t practically like looking at yourself, but this time, you thought you could do it for hours on end. Your eyes trail down to his lips for a split second before looking back at his visor. The cold air seemed to hit your body differently at that moment, almost lighting a fire of lust within you.

“Hello, (Y/N)? Y’a there!”

Jazz moved his servo in front of your face, breaking you from your trance. Your hands came up to your mouth in a cupping motion as you blew hot air into them, a desperate attempt to warm up. You could just take one and tell him you’d like to go home, but who knows what’d go down if you both went home with the amount of alcohol in your systems. Maybe that’s what made going home so exciting, the thought of desire and being under the bot you so desperately love.

“I’d like to go home, it’s getting colder and I didn’t dress for it.”

You stated, the idea to cover the real reason for going home with freezing being the only thing keeping you going.

You both arrive at your house, the bot standing behind you while you fiddled with your keys to get the door unlocked. You opened the door to be met with the warmth of your home and its familiar comforting smell. The sigh coming from you is a signal of home. You had walked further into your home, forgetting about the bot who was behind you. You just wanted out of your clothes, the redistricting fabric from the dress and the heels you wore that was making it feel like you were walking on pins and needles.

When Jazz looked up from closing the door you were gone, the faint noise of your heels going up the carpeted stairs .

“Slow down, pretty girl.”

He called out, as he started following you. It didn’t take long for him to catch up, walking into your bedroom to see you standing next to the bed, one hand placed on the mattress and slightly bent over as your other hand reached for your heel that was kicked up. He leaned against the door frame watching you, arms crossed over his chassis.

Once you got your heels off you dug your feet into the carpet, the feeling getting you to sigh in relief, no more heels. Both of your hands were now planted on the bed and your head hanging down, all you needed was to get your dress off and then get a warm bath and your night would be complete. Complete? I’d be complete if you could get Jazz on top of you. Your thoughts were cut short when you felt a pair of servos on your waist, his digits playing with the fabric of your dress.

“You look too good in this dress, just for it to go to waste. Don't you think so?”

You could feel him pulling you into him, your back meeting his chassis as his helm rested on your shoulder. You’d be lying if you didn’t agree with him, you looked too damn good in your dress just to give it up in a matter of seconds. His servo was traveling downwards, stopping at the hem of the dress. He took a deep breath in, his servos playing with the end of your dress.

“I’ve thought about you in this dress since we left.”

His servo moved to your inner thigh, and moved upwards towards your panties. A whimper left your mouth, his digits started to move from your clit to your entrance, he wasn't even in your panties yet.

“Yet, I still don't know how i want to fuck you.”

The dirty talk was getting to you, fueling the fire of desire and want within you, and with how close to your pussy he was, it was getting hard to stay patient. HIs digits moved the fabric of your panties aside, his digits circling your clit and occasionally going down to circle your entrance. A moan leaving your mouth, he was picking speed up and then slowing down in a steady pattern. If he kept this up, you’d be a moaning mess by the end of the night.

“That feel good, enjoying yourself baby?”

He spoke in a mocking tone. Of course it felt good, but you weren’t going to tell him that. He finally fully put his digits in you, rubbing against your walls before deciding to go in a scissoring motion. There was no more holding back, your head leaned back against his shoulder plating, and you did not stop moaning.

“Yeah,”

He paused, taking a moment to fully enjoy the sounds you were making, and change his pattern fingering.

“I’d say you're enjoying it a little too much, it's gettin’ a little too tight. Getting close aren't ya.”

All you could do in that moment was nod and whine out his name. The knot in your stomach is getting tighter and tighter by the second.

“Yeah, let's speed this up.”

His servo on your waist goes to circle your clit, you were already trying to last longer then you wanted, but you guess that is out of the window now. The sensation from his digits in you and circling your clit was getting to much, your hands came up to grab his helm

“Jazz, please.”

You were able to get out in between moans and whines. The knot was going to break any second now, and you wanted to be vocal about it.

“Yeah, come baby.”

You did just that, came all over his digits. His pace not once slowing or stopping, a steady pace as you rode your high out on his servo. Wiggling and grinding your hips into that same servo in an attempt to keep the high longer.

“Don't worry, I’m not done just yet.”

He moves to help you out of the dress straps and moves it down below your breast, servos moving to play with the flesh, pitching one nipple and rolling the other with his digits. A sharp gasp came from you, He pulled you into him, this time it was more aggressive as he littered your neck and jaw with kisses.

“You're so pretty, you know that.”

He lets go of you and pushes you face first into the mattress.

“Pretty enough to take my spike.”

The sound of his shuffling around behind, as you took your panties off and hiked you dress up above your hips, why not give him better access. He smacks his spike against your pussy, causing you to let out a dreamy sigh. After that he didn't waste any time, pushing his spike straight into you. His servos are going to grab your hips immediately after, his grip tighter than any other time. His pace was steady, he occasionally flexed his digits. He let out a few grunts here and there, but nothing was louder than your moans.

“Primus, you take my spike so good.”

You felt your walls clench down on his spike, now he really knew what dirty talk did to you. His servo came down with a smack, the noise jolting you from your haze, his pace picked up, and a loud groan came from him.

“Yeah, keep that up baby. You might get me to come first.”

He lifted your hips up and fucked into you, his grip brusing the soft skin. You knew there'd be some sort of imprint tomorrow. His spike felt like it was kissing the knot forming. You guessed his grip on your hips wasn't enough, because he had now moved one of his servos to grab the dress, bunching it up in his hand and holding onto it like he was in a rodeo and fucking into your pussy, and god you were enjoying it. Every little noise coming from you sounded like you were in a porno.

“Yeah, you like that pretty girl.”

His pace quickening, you felt like you were going to crumble, once that knot snapps you’d be no more, and that time was coming quicker and quicker by the second. You whined to jazz, he whined back at you.

“What is it, you're gonna come?”

He knew he was making you feel good, because god you were making him feel good. You nodded the best you can through the movement from his pounding.

“Oh primus, I love how you can’t control yourself,”

His free servo coming down on your ass, that signature smack. He enjoyed watching the way your ass jiggled from the hit, he liked watching just like your boobs, the way they both jiggle, but more importantly the way he saw your skin move like waves when he brought your hips into his. God not only was your pussy intoxicating to him your entire being was intoxicating. You smile, the way you hand fit in his, your kisses, the simple way you looked at him, it was like watching you fall in love with him every time. You were far too intoxicating, just like his own brand and he just couldn't get enough.

“If you wanna cum, I’ll let you, just one request.”

Your arms are stretched in front of you on the bed, gripping the sheets beneath them.

“Anything, I’ll do anything,”

You were practically moaning out your response, you’d simply do anything to come, to feel the warm welcome of hot desire.

“Tell me who you belong to.”

His free servo was now gripping your waist, pulling your hips to meet his thrusts every time. His grunts were starting to be more consistent, he was close. Far closer than you thought he’d be. You thought about his request, any other time you wouldn’t even think twice to say it. You thought about it like your life depended on it, but you really didn’t care. He's yours right now, not buried in someone else right now, he was buried deep in you, and that was simply all you needed to know.

“You, I belong to you Jazz.”

You grip on the sheets tightening.

“Come on, keep it up. Gotta have everyone hear this. Can’t have anyone trying to take you now.”

His servo let go of the dress now both on your hips, as he was hunched over, Spike going in and out with lewd noises as you both almost went over the edge.

"Yours, I'm yours jazz.”

You were almost not able to get your words out, you let out a few more moans before you crumbled, the last moan being dragged out as Jazz released into you. He let out a groan, thrusting his hips into you a few more times before stopping. The only thing heard within your bedroom was both you and Jazz trying to catch your breaths.

“You're always so good.”

You laughed, taking your time to recollect yourself before speaking.

“Of course, You’re all I ever wanted.”

#transformers g1 #transformers #transformers jazz #tf x reader #transformers x reader #tf jazz #tf jazz x reader #jazz x reader #prowl #tf prowl #transformers prowl #tf g1 #transformer mtmte #prowl x reader #prowl x jazz #stars writings

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