#Bad Acid Magazine

[savage-kult-of-gorthaur]

TAKE A TAB OF THIS FOR ALL YOUR HEAVY MUSIC NEEDS -- CLASS OF '98.

PIC INFO: Spotlight on cover art to stoner/DOOM/psychedelic/sludge metal magazine/fanzine?, "Bad Acid" tab #2 (published September 1998), zine founded by David Gedge, Poole, UK. Cover Art by Erik Roper.

Source: https://archive.org/details/thewitchesbrew_images.

[electricmagicarchives]

Some more BAD ACID, cover pic above by Malleus, the other one is an early Arik Roper. Dave Gedge put this very early issue on the Internet Archive, if you're interested keep reading there...

[sporesgalaxy]

"whocares ita just a bug its just a bird its just a fish" ohhhh its just the miracle of life on earth . its just the beauty of biodiversity in my local area. its just millions and millions of years of tiny changes to a bucnh of little strands of amino acids and eventually all these circumstances brought us to this moment.but i only like this one kind of bugs so i want all the other ones to DIE I think their amino acids that took millenia to develop are DUMB AND WORTHLESS and who cares about them who cares I just want to have some stupid plants in my yard that wish they lived somewhere completely different so bad and I have to constantly battle to keep their sickly bodies functioning in this place they were never meant to live. because I saw it in a magazine

[betterbooktitles]

"I’m certain I’m not the only millennial who feels we as a nation have taken a dizzying turn when it comes to drugs. I remember a uniformed police officer showing up once a week in 5th Grade (a year before Sex Ed) to explain how to avoid buying and taking drugs. Luckily, I already knew the dangers of the drug trade because I had seen The Usual Suspects. I knew cocaine was a bad thing to buy, sell, or steal, especially from a drug kingpin. The D.A.R.E. program, however, let me know how important it was to say no to anything fun, including alcohol. At least until I understood a little algebra first. We did role-playing exercises where we walked one by one toward the portly police officer and he casually asked if we wanted to hit a mimed joint with him. All we had to do was say “no” and walk to the other side of the room, defying the only rule I knew about improv. We wrote essays about how important it was to preserve our pristine bodies and minds, obviously unsullied since we had yet to take the class teaching us how puberty was going to defile them both. I’m still mad that my friend Nicole’s essay beat mine in a contest, and she got to read hers in front of the whole school all because she had the benefit of an older brother who took too much acid and sat in her room all night talking about why the existence of light proved God was real. My essay about a time I saw my friend’s dad drink a beer and then drive his truck somewhere was also good! We signed pledges to enter the new millennium drug-free. We took the red pencils that said “Friends Don’t Let Friends Do Drugs” and sharpened all of them down to say “Let Friends Do Drugs,” “Friends Do Drugs,” “Do Drugs,” and simply “Drugs.” Despite that little rebellious act, my friends and I spent a solid six months swearing we’d never put any harmful substance into our bodies besides every form of candy available.

Imagine how I feel now as a D.A.R.E. graduate becoming my dad’s drug dealer. It’s less thrilling than I thought it would be. Between my father’s warning not to hang around one specific neighborhood in Cleveland as a kid and nearly every TV show about drugs, I thought I’d always be buying marijuana from an intimidating dude who definitely had a gun and would use it immediately if he thought I was wearing a wire. Instead, I now buy marijuana from a well-lit storefront that looks like the Apple Store. I’ve even gone to a place where a guy with an iPad explained what each available strain would do to me. I buy what sounds good with all the confidence of a man pointing at items on a menu written in a language he can’t read. I put it all in a cardboard box. I place a book on top. I mail the box to my dad from my local post office. I tell myself the book is to hide the contraband crossing state lines, but in truth, the book is what clears my conscience. I want to send my dad something edifying while also sending him the drug that all of America worried would make me unable to read if I tried it once. The unrequested book is a red herring to distract from the vice, like when you were young and didn’t want to buy condoms outright at the store so you cushioned them between a pack of peanut M&Ms and a magazine. Hmm, what else did I need, — right, while I’m here — might as well pick up a few condoms.

Right as marijuana becomes legal in most states, I’m about done with the drug. I’ve had three good times on edibles, and one of them was when I felt nothing and fell asleep at 9:30 PM. I’m flabbergasted that my dad likes edibles. He seems to be a man free of anxiety. Case in point, I once brought him some THC lozenges to our summer holiday in Chautauqua, and around dinner time I told him “You might want to only take half of what I gave you” to which he replied, “I took it hours ago.” He was stoned and no one noticed.

While I’m stuck in my head, stoned or sober, wondering why I didn’t take some acting gig 15 years ago, wondering if I’ll ever make enough money, worrying I’m doing everything wrong including in this moment as I write this sentence, my dad is enjoying himself.

Judith Grisel, the author of Never Enough: The Neuroscience And Experience of Addiction, describes using marijuana as throwing “a bucket of red paint” on your brain. She was approaching the stimulant clinically in terms of how it differed from the laser focus of other drugs (THC reacts with many receptors in the brain, cocaine focuses on one), but now every time I smoke, I think of the red paint metaphor. While other people seem able to crank an entire joint and do insanely complicated stuff like function at their jobs, I am reduced to a gelatinous blob, on top of which my eyes and brain are navigating a dream state that, like many dreams, isn’t all that interesting the next day. Mostly, I get high and can’t decide what I want to watch on TV or what video game I want to play, I realize how hungry I am, and then I fall asleep with cereal still stuck to my teeth. Pot, for me, is like the squid ink hitting the screen in Mario Kart: I can still see where I’m going, but everything gets a little harder to do, and the panicked half-blindness makes everything slightly more chaotically fun."

Consider subscribing to the Screen Time newsletter.

Other articles include:

An essay on Claire Dederer's book Monsters and movies made by monsters.

Writing inside a Toyota Service Center.

Writing mistresses.

[otomehonyaku]

Diabolik Lovers More,More Blood Vol. 12 Ruki ☽ 7Net/Stellaworth Tokuten CD ☽ Monopolising Her

Original title: 彼が貴女を独り占めするCD Voiced by Sakurai Takahiro English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio (kindly provided by @karleksmumskladdkaka!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I took a little break from translating this past week but I'm back at it again ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ Thank you to @otomeheroines for suggesting this tokuten to me! It was pretty cute and now I know the Japanese words for stuff like 'chlorine' and 'limescale' lol

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

00:00 Hey. I’m coming in. You still aren’t ready? If we don’t start soon, we won't be done in time. Hurry up.

[You’re surprised.]

I’m shocked. Don’t you know what day it is today? I told you well in advance. It’s our once-in-a-month big cleaning day. Though I assume you could tell by the mop and dust cloth I’m holding. You sure are thickheaded. Anyway, I bought a new mop. Our previous one was getting pretty old, and I got this one on sale for quite the bargain.

[Ruki shows you the mop.]

It’s pretty suitable, don’t you think?

[You mope a little.]

What’s that? I can’t hear you. Alright, well, you know the plan now. Hurry up with your preparations and follow me. I left Yuma and the others in charge of the groceries. The two of us will do the cleaning.

[You feel that it’s a daunting task.]

It’s not that big of a deal, is it? It’ll be alright if we do it together. Well then, let’s start with the kitchen.

01:22 [Ruki is scrubbing something.]

Great, the grease is coming off quite nicely.  I’ll take care of the ventilation fan, you do the sink.

[The two of you clean side by side.]

You’re a dimwit most of the time, but you do come in handy with simple tasks like this. I don’t even have to order you around. I see no harm in you lending me a hand, I’ll give you that.

[You ask him whether you still have enough cleaning supplies.]

Yeah, I restocked the citric acid and baking soda.  They’re on the bottom shelf, so use whatever you need. Just make sure to ventilate the room when you use chlorine detergent. And don’t forget to use latex gloves, too.

[You make a face.]

What’s that face for? You look like you have something to say.

[You tell him he’s a professional.]

That’s all?  Those are the absolute basics when it comes to cleaning. I’m not asking for your praise. But… you could say I’ve got the fundamentals down. Citric acid works well against limescale. Baking soda is good against grease stains. And neutral detergent is good for a lot of things, too. Chlorine, however, could react with other products and release toxic gases.  So you should avoid it coming in contact with acidic liquids at all costs. You would think this is just common sense.

[You’re getting frustrated.]

02:50 Stop complaining so much. I don’t remember the first time I heard these things, but I learned a lot about cleaning from a women’s magazine.  It had an article on year-end cleaning.

[You ask him why he would read a women’s magazine.]

Don’t misunderstand. I ran out of books to read, so I ended up getting it for the sake of it. I was desperate for just about any printed text. But come to think of now, it was pretty informative. It’s not so bad to learn things you can apply directly in your daily life. Besides, the magazine was a worthwhile read.  The articles it had on making dishes out of leftover vegetables were interesting as well.

[You tell him he reminds you of a housewife.]

03:30 Watch your mouth when you speak to your master. What about me makes you think of a housewife?

[You tell him you meant it as a compliment.]

Heh. And that would be a compliment how, exactly? Explain it in a way that satisfies me.

[You tell him his future wife must be happy that Ruki is so good at housework.]

Oh… you are so naive. Where did you get that idea from? That if I got married, my wife would be the happiest on the planet? You’re thinking in extremes. Let’s say that I would become someone’s husband.  If I did all the housework, that would certainly make my wife’s life much easier. But then again, that’s not all there is to happiness, is there? If my wife simply left all of the housework to me, she would spiral into depravity herself. She wouldn’t be able to live without me. Then again, there’s a certain charm in keeping a pet beyond its useful life (1), but unfortunately, I refuse to take someone like that as my wife.

[You wonder whether that statement includes you.]

Well, no, that’s out of the question. I don’t think you’re that dependent on me. We divide the housework equally and we both benefit from it. That’s not bad, is it?

04:55 Why are we even talking about this? Leave the talk about our futures for now. Come on, let’s put those hands to work again.

[You continue cleaning.]

[To himself] Good grief, that was uncalled for. But a future with her… If I’d be permitted to share my life with her, and the two of us could support one another, that would not be so bad either.

[You ask him what he was saying.]

No, it’s nothing–don’t mention it (2). After I finish the ventilation fan, I’ll get to work cleaning the bathroom. You do the living room. Let’s get this done before the others come home.

05:42 The bathroom is all done. How’s it going here?

[You tell him it’s going well, but…]

Hey, what are you doing on that ladder?

[You tell him you’re cleaning the shelves.]

Right, I can see that you’re wiping off the shelves, but that’s not what I mean.  I’m asking you what on Earth you think you’re doing. Knowing you, it’s no question that you’ll slip and fall from such a height. I’ve told you before to refrain from these kinds of things. Hurry up and get down from there.

[You quickly climb down.]

Wait, slowly! Haste will only–

[Lo and behold, you fall off the ladder. Ruki swoops in and catches you.]

Gosh, I didn’t think you would be that predictable. You actually fell. Or was this just a ploy for me to come save you?

[You apologise.]

Don’t just apologise. Learn from your mistakes, at least. Leave it. I’ll do it.

[Your face falls.]

If you’re going to pout, you should have just behaved in the first place. It would be a terrible misunderstanding if you thought I was angry. I know full well what a dimwit you are. You can’t anger me so easily. If you got hurt and I would have to take care of you, though, I would have even more on my plate. For example, if you broke a bone, that would make it difficult to move when I feed on you. Just keep that in mind. Next time, I’ll let you know if I need your help.

07:20 Why are you smiling like that? It’s creeping me out.

[You tell Ruki that he’s kind.]

Huh. You must be completely infatuated if you take those words for kindness. Though I was aware of that already, of course. If you can still move, go and sweep the hallway.  I’ll make tea when we’re done. I made an apple pie this morning, so we can have some of that, too.

[You’re excited.]

You shameful creature. To let yourself be lured in by food like that... You have to put in the work first, got it?

08:07 Looks like we finished right on time. Azusa contacted me and said they've just finished grocery shopping, too. The three of them must be pretty exhausted right about now. There were quite a lot of items on the shopping list I gave them. It had a month’s worth of daily necessities on it. Body soap, kitchen paper, laundry detergent, things like that. You can save quite a lot of money if you shop during the sales at the end of the month. Did you think I’d miss out on that? Well, it seems we’ve taken care of most of our chores now. We’ve restocked our daily necessities and the mansion is squeaky-clean. Feels good when everything goes according to plan.

[Ruki takes a sip of his tea.]

09:04 Besides, it’s nice to see the living room spotless. It’s as if the tea even tastes better because of it.

[Ruki puts down his cup, motioning towards the apple pie.]

Hurry up and take a bite.  Ah, but if you don’t want any, I won’t force you to eat it.   I’m sure Kou would appreciate the extra serving.

[You quickly start eating.]

Heh. Don’t choke on it. You know what’ll happen if you ruin my good mood. Or do you? You look like a hamster in a pet shop window with your mouth stuffed like that. (3)

[Ruki stands up and comes closer to you.]

Maybe I should start calling you that from now on instead of Livestock. Your mouth is covered in crumbs. No manners, huh?

[Ruki runs his fingers over your mouth. You’re surprised and drop your fork.]

10:02 Why are you so surprised? I only brushed away the crumbs. It makes me want to discipline you, really, but I’ll let you off easy this time. You worked hard today. I appreciate it. However, it would be a shame if the floor got dirty when we’ve only just cleaned it. I’ll feed you.

[Ruki breaks off a piece with the fork and holds it out to you. You try to refuse.]

You have no right to refuse. As your master, I want to reward you for your efforts. Be thankful and accept it.

[You take the bite.]

[To himself] If I could marry her (4) in the future, I wonder if our days together will be just as peaceful as this one. Livestock is quite the handful, but if we could live together quietly, just the two of us… that does not seem so bad.

飼（か）い殺（ごろ）し : Lit. ‘to keep and kill (a pet),’ meaning to keep a domestic animal beyond its useful life or keeping a person on the payroll without utilising their skills

Not a translation note but the way he talks in this drama CD fucking kills me, this man is secretly such a tsundere (and a clean freak. I love)

In Japanese these past few lines sounded really suggestive so I hope that vibe carried across…

 契（ちぎ）りを交（か）わす: Lit. ‘to exchange (wedding) vows.’ I just briefly want to mention that 契り is also a euphemism for having sexual relations even though he… obviously doesn’t mean it that way in this context but do with that knowledge as you will hehe

[hushedpresence]

The worst smut ideas

I'm writing smut and was trying to think of ways for P acquiring a dick to fuck you with. They're all weird and stupid, but the stupidest idea I had was P asking Venigni as a last resort because the man is a fucking mad genius. Venigni would oblige, excited about the prospect of a new and crazy puppet product. He owes him anyway. Experimentation time!

But instead of just a normal penis attachment, Venigni's like, "This one has an added vibration mechanism with 20 different vibrating settings!" and because it's his first puppet dick prototype, it sucks and sounds like a fuckin lawnmower when turned on because it vibrates so violently, not discreet at all.

He's got another that looks fairly innocuous, but there's a huge hole in the tip.

"It shoots out explosives in a pinch if your run out of legion magazines."

OR

"This one is ribbed for her pleasure" and it's the worst one yet. It's like the Pandemonium legion arm where it has those gross veiny dick tubes (you can't tell me that thing doesn't look like a bunch of throbbing veiny blue dicks on an arm) and it's like a bunch of those tubes twisted together that pulse and writhe.

"It can also shoot out acid in a pinch if you run out of legion magazines."

I've been laughing at these for like an hour. They're so bad.

[spiderh0rse]

freeman's mind notes part two, e6-e10.5. under cut, long. formatting is different this time. will carry on in this way.

e6

"safety's off" sir. Sir you've just said it was a Glock. You fool. You absolute buffoon.

"clip" IT IS A MAGAZINE

I cannot respect a man who watches Die Hard this much. I just can't.

love how he reacts to the houndeye teleporting in. Flat "No."

mimics houndeye noise :>

heard Gman movin around on the catwalk above

electricity doesn't do a ton to him this first go around but does hurt and seems to paralyze him for a moment. Muscles seizing and all that

rescinds his disdain for everyone who died. Admits it's a bit difficult to live under the circumstances

"white men in armoured hazmat suits can't jump" SIR

[underwater mumbling] sounds pretty damn frantic. Genuine fear of dying by his own hand. I'd wager he thinks he's the only one that could do it.

bounces back quickly!

just goes and shoves some words together. For fun!

dislikes the ammo being covered in blood. Considers leaving it behind because if that

impacts still hurt. High impact reactive armour this is Not

e7

simian instincts strike again

has seen star trek

"maybe i should've been a bug" well I can study you like one. How's that sound

Kafka's Metamorphosis mention! It's Gregor Samsa that actually turns into a bug though, so. May not have read it.

knows who Shiva is! Not sure of her origin but she does show up in ff7, which is within his range to know about

bullsquid acid tastes like dead caterpillar

yog'sothoth :>

held his mouth open in the canal. Dude.

mouth cancer...

hates puns.

Black Mesa gets money from the dept. of defense

slur count one

is this hl source? Do the crates sway in the ported version?

correctly figures out the useless crate pit room

hates elevator music

e8

audio inconsistent :(

bug murder D: I love bugs.

shouting and breaking stuff in grad school did not help him

says grody. Like a loser.

threatens a man's life again. Doesn't seem to mean it.

calms down easily enough by breakin things

wants to blow up the building. He won't know it but it will be. Your will be honored, sir

came home to a guy impaled on his window's insulated glass. Explained that to the police.

"kind of like glass in a way" fragile and lacking a smell? got it

"GYAHH" high pitched scream!

has been hit by many tasers over dates.

pepper spray is worse.

first instance of sonic damage (gun in air vent)

some guy named Jessie would electrocute himself on his bed and end up paralyzed for an hour for fun. Sounds fun tbh

Steve Irwin... Rest in peace and let's kill all sting rays now

does ask a cowering scientist if he's okay

somehow doesn't see the shotgun in plain sight waiting for him

doesn't always know when he's thinking out loud

e9

peppered steak just like OFF

visibly contemplates shooting a regular bug

actively admits he was considering cannibalism. I can get behind that. Cannibalism win.

"pew!!"

roleplays as a teacher who hits kids with crowbars

wants to be a medieval knight so bad

no vent sharks for us! fan blades instead

afraid of muppets

has whistled Twice now

has seen Jurassic Park.

wishes he could shoot electricity through his hands

has probably seen James Bond

already theorizing about Xens makeup

more bothered by a barnacles death coating him in blood and potentially jamming his gun than being choked

shot in the ear :>

whistles in time with the turret. Echolalia real

doesn't want to look gay. Too late. Even if we assume base Freeman model he does have a ponytail.

slur count two.

HEADCRAB SLAUGHTER PARTY

sounds like he likes coffee and doughnuts

e10

starts off with silly noises and repeating the word "coffee" on loop

Chainsaw noise with his mouth

jason vorhees wannabe

would love to spread bloodborne diseases via hug

has a collection that a human skull would fit right in with. Bones in general? Skulls in general? Human skulls? Doesn't matter, Eddie mention! As of him getting more skulls in cheap.

wants his funeral to be full of explosives and planes

he is not a gerbil.

feels he's only sure of his actions when killing things

watches Jackie Chan movies

and the Addams Family!

gman sighting.

thinks the guy diving through the window is cool. compares him to his own grandfather? neat!

unlike stark can do a pull-up in his suit

cannot break the vending machine glass. has change on him, though. Dorito time.

[aardvark-123]

Piper Wright: Writes the paper.

Sniper Wright: Writes gun reviews for a popular magazine.

Piper Flight: Makes paper planes and throws them from the upper stands.

Swiper Wright: Sneaks after Nat and steals her things incessantly.

Piper Trite: Is bad at newspaper articles.

Piper Knight: Wearing armour made of cardboard and wielding a poleaxe with a paper blade, she slays monsters and steals the hearts of fair maidens all over the Commonwealth.

Hyper Wright: Can write with the power of ten journalists.

Piper Fight: Cait's favourite sparring partner, with a kick that can write off a suit of power armour.

Piper Light: Knows how to make Synths, and has built herself two children named "Acid Jazz Boy" and "Nat But Prettier And Four Times Stronger".

Piper Plight: She just can't stay out of trouble. Just last week, she got stranded on top of Trinity Tower when the lift broke. Piper Flight had to fetch her down in a paper helicopter.

Pay Per Wright: Is the owner of a fairly successful vanity publishing company.

Nat Wright: Her every waking moment is a surreal, inescapable nightmare. It is not right, she complains bitterly, for one innocent girl to have such an overabundance of sisters. She can't sleep with Plight screaming for help all the time, she can't hear herself think when Hyper's writing ten newspaper articles simultaneously, and someone's definitely been stealing her packed lunches. Oh, Atom, when will it END?!

(In fairness, I don't hear Nat complaining about the bottles of nuka cola her sisters keep bringing home.)

[et-cant-phone-home-no-signal]

The Last of Us HBO - Episode 3 thoughts

Warning: Pure yapping ahead again! You know the drill, it's my thoughts, things I've noticed and things I've enjoyed watching the show. It's not that serious, and I don't invite arguments (fellow yappers however are heartily welcome)

(and we're back with another episode analysis! this is a fucking long one folks, they seem to keep getting more and more. i had a lot of feelings watching this episode, especially as a young queer person, it's very special to me and i'm very pleased with the way it was written and performed. A* performance all around imo. as usual, spoilers below the cut)

Could write a whole ass essay on Joel's hands but I'll keep it simple - hands that break bone and kill men are also capable of softness and grief, capable of destruction as well as creation. This opening moment is so poignant and beautiful, god bless - Tess deserves more than a cairn but that's all Joel can do, so he does it - this is Joel saying "I'm sorry, you should still be here and it's my fault"

The gentle music

I've noticed that Joel is very snatchy, he snatches and grabs things often (throwback to me noticing he's a twitchy man in the episode 2 thoughts)

Ellie having Joel's jacket over her legs to keep her warm :')

The way he grabs one tiny bit of jerky, then throws the rest to Ellie, fuck

Ooooh Ellie confrontating Joel with the "look this wasn't my fault", I like it tbh, she's right and he had to hear that cause he's the kind of person to hold a grudge and also blame himself at the same time

First mention of Joel's head scar let's go, planting the question that won't be answered properly for some time ("Someone shot at me and missed." ... "No, I missed too." 🤌🙌)

"You ask a lot of goddamned questions." "Yes, I do 🌸✨"

The return of - "Is there anything bad in here?" "Just you." "Ah. Getting funnier."

Joel's quiet "fuck" cause he can't remember where he stashed his shit is so real, he's so me

Love the little moment of her excitement at finding a pack of unopened tampons - teenage girls in the apocalypse gotta do what they gotta do

I so wonder what's going on in her head during this scene

Totally awesome makeup and prosthetics

Ellie, my darling, you're channeling child psychopath right now (but also I too feel curious as fuck and seeing the fucking growth under the skin being purely cordyceps is so gross and awesome)

Can now come up with a few ideas of what was going on in her head when she stabs it

The concern in Joel's voice, the nonchalant way she saunters out with the tampons 🤌

Also love the constant theme of Ellie suggesting/asking/pushing for a gun and Joel always saying no

Ellie's fascination for things that we take for granted - flying in a plane

"I thought you went to school." "FEDRA school. They don't teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic." REAL SO REAL

Info dump love it let's gooo

Joel's little pause on pancake mix...

I really love that even though Joel still sees her as a burden and nothing more than cargo, he still wants to protect her from the nasty shit, he doesn't want a child to see whatever is up there - and Ellie's "well now I have to see" is so fucking childish, she suffers the consequences of that decision but it's a beautiful storytelling mechanism

It's such a terrible visual, all of these old dry bones, 2 decades old, none of them died of infection, no, they died by human hands

The transition 😭😭😭😭 the fabrics cutting to the people IN the fabrics - a fucking mother and her tiny baby I am in TEARS

Great introduction to Bill and great first line, "not today you new world order jackboot fucks" 💅👏

The details of the following shots - the gun wall, guns & ammo magazine, big bottles of sulfuric acid, ammo, the sub basement in a general shot and small things to notice (taxidermied animal in the left bottom corner, everything meticulously ordered on the shelves, the screen setup)

Genuinely think it's hilarious that the sub basement is hidden under a TRUNK and Bill steps out with a gasmask on and hunting rifle cocked, he's such a funny sight and Nick Offerman does a fantastic job just in this first part already - it's so video game coded tbh

The music swell into a montage (let's be honest) of him doing his little doomsday prep shit is fantastic - the mix of totally fucking apeshit stuff (setting boobytraps and fences) added with super domestic stuff (growing his own veggies and rearing chickens) is so amusing

The remote controls 😭 I remember, we had a TV like that when I was a kid

The 'dont tread on me' flag is an interesting and noteworthy thing to mention - I know some about it but I had to Google for more information on it, and it makes sense that Bill would have a flag like that in his home

"Are you armed?" ".... No." "Why did you take that long to answer?" "I don't know, I thought about lying for some reason, but a reason didn't come." Amazing introduction

The fact that Frank bears his neck just a little to let Bill test him, even though he's clearly nervous

Cheeky man shooting his shot with the "I'm really hungry" line, he could tell immediately he could try this with Bill

The whole Arby's line followed by the Arby's was never free 😂💀

I think this is the moment Frank truly began to clock that he and Bill are cut from the same cloth, it's such a nothing but everything moment

I think it's so amusing that Bill has such a lovely house and has been living there successfully for 4 years in the outbreak so far, but there's dust fucking all over the dressers and shit 😂😭 man doesn't have cleaning on his priority list and I can see Frank thinking "damn he needs someone else here huh"

God they're so awkward 😩💕

Frank's SMILE, the way he looks at Bill like he just gave him the world - Murray Bartlett god bless you

The way Frank doesn't even wait one second, he fucking digs in immediately, yeah I believe u haven't eaten in 2 days hun

But look how delicate he holds the cutlery, he's someone who probably used to enjoy living decently and enjoyed good food before it all went to shit - he clearly loves the food (yeah he's hungry but that's the kind of "damn this is restaurant level" reaction you'd expect on something like masterchef), and his excitement at the wine is fucking adorable

"A man who knows to pair rabbit with a Beaujolais." "I know I don't seem like the type." " No, you do." HELP

Frank stop bullying the poor man's music sheet collection lmao

So I didn't know Linda Ronstadt before this at all, so I googled her and listened to some of her music - it's very nice, though not something I could really stick myself into, it's more like nice music to just have playing in the background whilst I'm working personally - but I do just so love that the characters can have a connection over it. That's one of the great joys of music

Bill standing in the back, wringing his hands because damn Frank, you're kinda butchering it lmao

Oh this song means something so much more

"There is no girl." "I know." sobbing

Same-sex marriage wasn't legal in Massachusetts until 2004, so they never got to know legal and safe love and still, here they are 😭 I'm in my feels over this because these men never got to be safe and out, they never got to be open with their relationships, and now they've found each other in a broken fucked up world that doesn't given a shit who you are, it will just try to kill you regardless

This kiss means so much to me - oh Bill 😭

Both of them with wet eyes, overwhelmed with emotion, and Frank asks "what's your name?" I'm so deceased

This is the softest most natural and sweet non explicit sex scene I've ever watched. I watched this with my mum and not once did I feel embarrassed, both of us thought it was a beautiful moment and very human - Bill has never had the opportunity to be with a man before, he's what, in his late 30s? Early 40s? And Frank is so non-judgemental over this lack of experience. He knows, he gets it, he understands. This whole scene is just soft, gentle and brought me to tears. This is the kind of queer representation I've been yearning for in mainstream media and it's so rare to find 🙌

Skip to 3 years on and it's a lovers quarrel, so fucking real

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. I live in this world, you live in a psycho bunker where 9/11 was an inside job, and the government are all Nazis." "THE GOVERNMENT ARE ALL NAZIS!" BE SO FOR REAL (I can't believe this is real script I'm vibrating with joy) - they've clearly had discussions like this before because Frank just goes straight to threatening to off himself which I find hysterical

They have such different love languages - Frank is an artist, he cares about small details, Bill is more practical, he'll cook and protect but so help him if you wanna use resources for something he seems frivolous

The angry "you WHAT!?" immediately cutting to Frank, Bill, Tess and Joel eating lunch outside is *chef's kiss*

💕✨Tess✨💕 I love you so much

Frank and Tess: 🥰✨🌸

Bill and Joel: 💀🔪⚠️

"I understand. If my, uh... If mine, brought strangers into our situation, I wouldn't be happy either." Oh Joel,,,,,

I love how even though this is 7 years into the cordyceps pandemic, you can see Joel is so similar to the 20 year mark, "get that gun outta my face", like yeah you tell him

I do adore the total lack of judgement from Joel (and Tess) that Bill and Frank are together, cause he clearly knows but it just doesn't bother him. Ally behaviour ✨ (does Joel give bi energy? discuss)

Why does Joel's warning feel like a prelude

Crying at two men eating fresh strawberries wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, but here I am, sobbing my eyes out with joy at these two - their giggles and pure joy at eating something they haven't had in like 10 years, the shared love and contentment in that hazy evening sun, the way Frank grabs onto Bill and just holds his arm in his,,,, I'm just such a mess

"I'm sorry." "For what?" "Getting older faster than you." "Ah, I like you older. Older means we're still here." 😭😭😭💕

"I was never afraid before you showed up." Fucking stop it oh my god

"Not on the strawberries!" Yeah that got me chuckling too

I fucking KNEW it, people are the worst, Joel was right

I just noticed Frank is wearing house slippers in this scene oh my god

Wish we'd gotten a little scene of Bill teaching Frank to shoot, could you imagine?

I like that even though Bill is in excruciating pain and thinks he's dying, he still wants Frank to be safe and insists he calls Joel, and isn't that also something? That at this point Joel is a safe enough person for him to even consider that the most important thing

The cut to 2023, seeing them Old and Frank basically immobile,,,, yeah that stings

Gonna note down my love for the costume, makeup, hair and set departments here for this episode - they aged these two so well, their clothes suit them, and the small gradual changes in decorating and scenery (in and outside the house) are seen and appreciated immensely

Paint used to be a frivolity, now Frank's paintings are everywhere <3

The wink had me giggling, they're so cute

Love is cutting your partner's food, giving them a cup with a straw because it's easier for them, helping with their medication, sitting next to them because each other is all that matters - love is staying with your partner and helping them into their bed because they can't do it themselves anymore

The painting of Bill in their bedroom :')

The certainty when Frank says this is his last day.... It's so painful but I'm also so glad he has the choice, that he's deciding that this is it - it's better than what most people get

Bill crying is 😭😭 he needs Frank

Love this realistic speech from Frank here - no, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, but it was still fucking decent and that's what matters

I cannot describe the noise I made when he talked about getting married

"Do you love me?" "Yes." Bill's face, yes of course he fucking does Frank, he'd do anything for you - but he needs this guidance, one more time

When "On the Nature of Daylight" started playing, I shit you not, I had a damn near meltdown and mum made me pause the show because I started to get so damn upset. That song is fairly overused for these kind of sad scenes and situations, but fuck, does it get me every single time

Getting married by the piano :') the law may not have recognised them but fuck the law in a lawless world, be happy

The same meal as the first one they had together 😭 the same reaction just toned down my god

My mum already suspected that Bill had spiked the whole bottle, but I was naïve and it shocked me when Bill chugged his own glass and Frank asked - oddly, I agree with Frank, that's the most romantic shit ever

Bill's speech guys come on I'm only a little queer in a big world and these old men have my heart and soul

I love that their bedroom moved from upstairs to downstairs, necessary detail but important regardless

Joel knows the door pin 🙌

Clearly some time has gone since they died cause there's dust everywhere, the flowers are dead and the food is mouldy (I'd guess at least a month, judging off of the visual evidence and also the fact that the radio was blasting 80s when they left Boston)

A part of me is sad Ellie never got to meet Bill and Frank, I bet Frank would have immediately taken a shine to her. They'd have been the slighty psycho gay uncles and aided Ellie in her lesbian ways (ooc? Probably idc)

The fact that it's 'to whomever, but probably Joel', mmmmyeah, not even Tess, no, Joel

A date! August 29th, when did they leave Boston??? (Found out they literally left on the same date what the hell Craig Mazin are you trying to kill me)

The way Ellie reads the laughter caught me off guard and I choked

Bill's letter breaks my heart, truly, so telling of Joel and Bill's character

'use them to keep Tess safe' yeah, it's okay, it's not like my heart was already ripped out anyways

Joel scrunching the letter,,, I get it

"What you say goes." YEAHHH glad they kept that

"Dude." "No." the ongoing gun debate is still funny

Seeing Ellie grab the toilet paper had me flash backing into 2020 *shudders* dark times

Ellie getting excited about a hot shower, immediately saying Joel needs to cause he stinks, mwah

THE SHIRT, IT'S ELLIE'S SHIRT YEAHH GO COSTUME DEPARTMENT

Gun = acquired (and immediately hidden)

"Well don't you look pretty!" "Shut up."

Joel is wearing Frank's shirt 😭

Joel with slicked back wet hair....... Yeah

My girl has no clue how cars work and I love that

Joel likes Linda Ronstadt :')

Close on their open window, with the first song Bill and Frank shared together, yeah I'm fine haha

I think my favourite thing about this episode is that it's the opposite of 'bury your gays'. These gays got to live their lives and grow old together. They got to love, and adore, and enjoy life together for 16 years. 16!! They died on their own terms, having lived happily in relative safety together, and that's fucking beautiful.

What a read, thanks if you made it to the end! this episode grabbed me by the balls and hasn't let go, so i apologise for the severe rambling of this post, like i say, it's just my running thought process. Do you agree with some of my notes, was there anything you noticed that i didn't? Comments and reblogs welcome <3

Episode 1 thoughts:

Episode 2 thoughts:

[celebrated-amongst-the-gurneys]

X-O-X-O

Pairing: (Poly) Jet Star x Fun Ghoul x Male Killjoy Reader (FTM) Word Count: 2136 Summary: A sudden acid rainstorm is leaving Y/K/N feeling bored and craving Jet and Ghoul's attention (well, more than attention). Lucky for him, his boyfriends do not need much convincing. Warnings: THIS IS A SMUT FIC, IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT OR READ. Thank you! Contents: Oral Sex, Double Penetration, Unprotected Sex, Lots of kissing and cursing. A/N: This baby took me three long days to write and holy shit this was an experience. While I have never been in a poly relationship I wanted to make sure I did it properly and justice so I did as much research as possible before writing, so please tell me if I got anything wrong! Also, this was my first time actually writing smut so I'm sorry if it's bad!

When you first approached Jet with the idea of Polyamory, you were unsure of what he would say. Of course you loved him and could see yourself spending the rest of your life by his side, but you knew that Monogamy was not something that fit well with you. To your surprise, he was completely open to the idea. After some time passed you found yourself developing feelings for your best friend, Fun Ghoul. Ghoul was a jokester, witty and easygoing, someone you enjoyed having around. You brought this up to Jet, who suggested Ghoul be the third. Ghoul, of course, was completely down. It did not take long for the three of you to become even closer than before, the bond you shared with the both of them was something you’ve never experienced in any relationship before. They were the perfect partners, attentive and supportive of you in every sense of the word, an energy you were very much willing to match. 

In the bedroom, they were just as if not more perfect than outside. It was addicting to you, one time was more than enough to get you hooked on both of them, often finding yourself craving their touches, fantasizing about the nights where the three of you would spend precious moments exploring each others bodies, memorizing each scar and divet, every single perfect imperfection you each had. It was fulfilling, and you wanted more.

So when a sudden Acid Rainstorm barred you from your plans for the day, you knew exactly how you wanted to spend your free time. Party and Kobra were out in the garage working on some modifiers to the Trans AM, leaving you alone with your boyfriends. Jet was reading a magazine and Ghoul was working on some sort of device, most likely a bomb. You stood up from your spot next to the window and walked over to Jet, sitting down next to him and letting out an exaggerated, loud sigh. “Can I help you with something?” He said, looking up from his reading with an innocent smile. He knew exactly what you wanted but was going to make you work for it. “I’m bored.” You whined, resting your head on Jet’s shoulder as Ghoul looked up from his tinkering, a mischievous smile painted his face. He knew exactly what Jet’s plan was and was all for it. 

“And what would you like us to do about that?” Ghoul said innocently, the smug grin still on his face. 

“I don’t know. Maybe we could go to the back and, ya know,” You said, blushing as you felt both of their eyes gaze upon you, turning over your suggestion in their heads. Jet got up and walked past Ghoul to look out the window, checking to see if the two brothers were still busy. There was no sign of them being done any time soon so he put the magazine down on the pile that sat on the table under the window and walked up to Ghoul, whispering something in his ear. Ghoul nodded and grinned as he put his device away, getting up and going to sit next to you. Almost as soon as he sat down, his lips were on your neck, peppering soft kisses all over the area.

“You’ve gotta be more specific than ‘ya know’, baby.”  He said, his lips returning to your neck as you shivered, his hands resting on your sides. Jet dimmed the lights in the diner, flicking on a neon moon sign, which was their makeshift “sock on the door” warning. It was in an easy to see spot, so should Party and Kobra finish early and come inside, they’ll see that the others do not want to be disturbed. 

“I want you, both.” You said, stumbling over your words as Ghoul began leaving dark purple marks on the areas his lips ventured. You could feel his smug grin against your skin as his hands climbed up your shirt. Jet sat next to you, removing your jacket and bringing his hand to brush against the side of your face. 

“And what would you like us to do?” Jet said in the same teasing tone as Ghoul, a devious grin now on his face as well. They had you both right where they wanted you. 

You groaned as Ghoul continued to work on your neck, sucking at the sweet spot “Shit, I want you both to fuck me,” you said, the dignity still present in your voice as Ghoul pulled away, both boys standing up and helping you to your feet.

“I think we can arrange that, don't you think, Ghoul?” Jet asked, Ghoul nodding while matching the same smug expression on Jet’s face. “Absolutely. Let’s take this to somewhere more private, unless you want Party and Kobra to join in?” Ghoul said with a laugh. You grabbed both of their hands and practically dragged them to the back of the diner and through the swinging doors to the area that was known as the “bedroom”, which was just a room with several cots in it. Jet and Ghoul pushed two cots together in the corner of the room, making it big enough for the three of you.

Jet walked back over to you and pulled you towards the cot, sitting you down in the center before bending down as crashing his lips against yours with such passion that it took you off guard at first. Ghoul returned to his previous position of leaving a trail of hickeys on your neck as Jet’s hands wandered to the hem of your shirt, stopping as if asking for permission to remove it. You nodded as he pulled your shirt over your head, throwing it off to the side. Both boys were awestruck at the sight of you. Jet took a step back and brushed his thumb against your chest. 

“Fuck, you’re perfect. Isn’t he, Ghoul?” Jet said, a look of genuine love present in his eyes as Ghoul sighed longingly. Jet sat down on the bed, his hands now exploring your body as if it were the first time he was ever seeing it. 

“Hell yeah he is.” Ghoul said, turning your face towards him as he pressed his lips against yours with the same passion as Jet had. Ghoul pulled away as he leaned in towards Jet, the two boys lips meeting as they shared the same loving kiss you had received. After a few moments, they both pulled away, breathless as they shifted their attention back to you. 

“Lean back.” Jet ordered as you obeyed. Jet leaned in, kissing and sucking at your chest as you felt Ghoul’s hands moving to your pants and unbuttoning them, pulling them down your legs. He tossed them to the side as he slowly began to remove your underwear, pressing kisses to your thighs.

You groaned as Ghoul began to make his way up your legs, nudging them open as he kissed around your already wet folds, licking a long stripe along the entrance. You moaned as he pushed his tongue passed the folds, lapping slowly at your cunt. Jet smiled against your skin. The sight of you slowly falling apart was so intoxicating to him.

“I wish you could see yourself right now and how needy you are for us.” He groaned as your hand moved to his lap, slowly palming him through his jeans. As you felt your climax approaching, Ghoul stopped and sat up, whispering something to Jet once again. Jet nodded and pulled away from you.

Jet moved you off the bed for a moment as Ghoul laid down, then motioning for you to get on top of him. You smiled and nodded as you got on top of him, lining his dick with your entrance as you slowly lowered yourself onto him. You both moaned at the flood of pleasure that washed over you as you took a moment to adjust to him. You began to slowly move, setting a slow but steady rhythm. You felt a Jet move behind you as he placed his hands on your hips, aligning himself behind you. You gasped as you felt him enter you from behind, stopping to get used to the feeling once again. After a few minutes, the three of you began to move again, setting a steady pace that had everyone moaning and groaning.

“Fuck, you feel incredible…both of you…” Ghoul moaned, leaning up to kiss you. Jet began rubbing soft circles in your side as he thrusted in roughly, causing both you and Ghoul to cry out. Jet’s movements not only sent waves through you, but left an effect on Ghoul as well, something that Jet always found incredibly hot,

“I’m getting close, don’t stop..” You cried, your orgasm once again returning at a fast pace. Both boys began slamming into you, sending your head spiralling as your release washed over you. You dug your nails into Ghoul’s side as they both slowed down, still fucking you through your orgasm. Not too long after, you heard Ghoul cry out obscenities as he twitched beneath you, his climax hitting him out of no where, leaving both himself and you breathless. 

Both Ghoul and Jet pulled out of you as Ghoul looked at Jet with mischievous eyes. You knew exactly what he was thinking. 

“Poor Jet is the only one who didn’t get to cum, we can fix that.” He said, crawling towards him and placing his mouth on Jet’s dick, licking slowly before taking him all in. Jet moaned as Ghoul bobbed his head up and down. After a few minutes, you wanted to help.

“Ghoul, let me have a turn!” You said, Ghoul smiling as he removed his mouth, Jet grimacing as the cold hit his dick. Ghoul moved off to the side, playing with himself as You picked up where Ghoul left off. Jet was absolutely melting over the two of you. He hit the back of your throat, which you were unphased by. How did he get so lucky to have two perfect boyfriends? He couldn’t ask for anything better. He whimpered as the pleasure began to build in his stomach, watching you sucking him and Ghoul getting himself off at the sight of the two of you. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna–” He said, his climax cutting him off mid sentence, the warmth pouring down your throat. You swallowed all of it, wiping your chin as you laid back down and cuddled next to Ghoul, who already reached his second orgasm of the night. Jet laid down on the other side of you, holding you close to him. The three of you stayed that way for a while, taking in the warmth of each others bodies, soaking in the comfortable silence. 

Ghoul then sat up, stretching. “We should probably get changed before the other two get back. I kinda forgot to mention this but I may or may not have used Kobra and Party’s cots for this,” He said, a guilty smile spreading across his face. You and Jet both started laughing as you took a moment to really look at the sheets, realizing that indeed Ghoul pushed Kobra and Party’s cots together. 

The three of you got changed and tried your best to put the room back to its original state, cleaning any evidence that could remain. You took a moment to give Ghoul and Jet each a kiss, “I love you both so fucking much” you said, feeling nothing but pure love for the both of them. They both smiled and as they were about to speak they heard the front door open and the sound of footsteps echo through the diner. 

“You guys done fucking in there?” Party said, popping his head into the room. After seeing everyone was dressed he walked in and plopped down on what he thought was his bed. Kobra walked in right behind him before stopping in his tracks. 

“Party, don’t you have your own bed?” He said in annoyance. Party looked around him with a confused look. That’s when it hit you, you three put Party’s bed in Kobra’s spot and Kobra’s bed in Party’s spot. Kobra and Party looked at each other and then looked at you, Jet and Ghoul, who were both holding back laughter. 

“You guys are disgusting. I’ve gotta burn everything now.” Kobra said in disgust, taking the sheets off his bed and bringing them to be washed. Party followed him with his sheets, quickly giving a thumbs up to you guys. You all let out the laugher you held in.  “Next time, we’re going to fuck in the Trans Am.” Ghoul said, causing both you and Jet to laugh even harder before you heard Kobra’s voice from the other room.

“DON’T FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT!”

[safyresky]

So we've been doing this really cool project at work that I HAVE to gush about for you all because it's really, really, really cool!

I work at a Rare Books and Special Collections library, and we have a LOT of very cool collections! One of the COOLEST ones has to be the Gothic Fantasy collection. Gothic Fantasy is, I believe, 60-80 boxes of pulp sci-fi/fantasy magazines that range from the 1920s all the way through to the 1960s/70s. Titles like Weird Tales and Amazing Sci-Fi Stories (which has changed it's title like, 20 times over the last century, I have learnt) are contained in this collection, in near full runs! We have had this collection for 50-60 years, and it is not catalogued.

(^Some of my favourite covers that I've seen so far while doing this project! I really, really, really love that string bean tin can man from Mercury lmao).

Sure, we have a finding aid for it; but given the nature of the storage (in a spare room that's not even a proper VAULT SPACE, in a set of banker's boxes), the finding aid is not the most reliable. It does the trick! but every time we have a class using the GF collection, we always end up being either A) unable to locate a few titles or, B) we find them in the wrong box.

There are, of course, many reasons for it not being catalogued yet: lack of manpower/staff, lack of space, time (hearkening back to the staff issue), and, of course, the BIG ONE: the condition of the magazines.

They're made with pulp paper, and that shit does NOT slap. It basically collapses in on itself bc of the high acid, and makes the magazines very brittle and delicate. We technicians fear having to grab titles from Gothic Fantasy because the titles LITERALLY crumble in your hands. See for yourselves:

That's just one of the boxes. They all look like that, with the edges of the magazines brittle and frayed, and, as you can see in the bottom of the box, pieces falling off and pooling underneath it all.

I don't know how long the department has been in talks about rehousing the GF Collection in a way that helps preserve it better, but in the two years and a bit that I've been there, it's been on the front burner. The conservation staff, along with our curator, worked together to get this project ready to go, after a TON of meetings and conservation reassessing each box and marking some as higher priority than others. FINALLY, for our FIRST EVER two week closure for projects like this, we were able to start rehousing GF and that's what I've been doing ALL WEEK! And it's been so fucking cool, guys.

We've been sliding most of them into magazine sleeves (approved by the con. staff) with appropriate backings. As we go along, we've numbered each box (in which we will be storing them flat, on top of one another) and given each item in the box an item number. A very simple numbering system that will make finding the specific titles SO MUCH EASIER.

There's a set outside of the box. We've been trying to order them by date (if possible lmao. we ran into an issue (pun intended) with the British editions: they don't actually have volume and issue numbers, nor do they have dates! They have copyright dates and that's what we've been going off lmao), that way when we rehouse them they're all close to if not in the same run (so the 40s together to the best of our abilities, then the 50s, and so on). We're also going title by title! We've started with Amazing Stories, as it's one of the larger ones in bad enough condition it's up there in priority, and it has taken us ALL WEEK to (nearly) finish them up!

Anyway, once we organize them we grab a group (we fit roughly 6-8 of the large, long ones in one box; 12-14 of the slightly smaller ones in one box, and nearly 30 of the tiniest ones in one box), and we find them in our spreadsheet, update info.make sure the info provided is correct, number them on the backboard, slide them into the pouch with the backboard, and then voila! Into the fancy new box they go! I don't have a decent picture of the box, but the bottom portion, one of the edges slides out which will make things SO MUCH EASIER to find. It also will keep the magazines from deteriorating even FASTER because now, when we search for an issue, we won't be touching them directly; they'll be safely enclosed, and should we need to slide them out for a class, the board will offer extra support for movement purposes :)

Look at how happy they look in their new magazine houses! 🤩🤩🤩

And there they are resting together in their new homes!!

Tomorrow we should be finishing the last boxes of Amazing Stories! The final two are these HUGE quarterly editions, were they mushed a bunch of issues together in one, and they are in VERY BAD SHAPE (see: big ass tealish greenish aquaish one in the photo above on the left). They don't fit in any of our bag sizes, so Conservation may have to make custom enclosures for them. However, the Conservator actually thought of a potential workaround that I'm gonna experiment with tomorrow to see if we can use our colibri stuff in tandem with the backings to perhaps give them a bit more support/happy homes :)

Long post is long, but this is really cool and I've been DYING to gush about it, and I know a couple of mutuals will really appreciate stuff like this!

You can follow the library on Instagram, as an aside! I don't run the insta, lmao, but the person who does is HELLA active and always sharing really cool stuff! We even have a spotlight on the Gothic Fantasy collection!

[polyphonical]

Red Hot Island - Chapter 2

[ View on site for better experience♪ ]

Location: Starmony Dorms Kitchen

Kaoru: …Fuu.

The coffee beans I usually get were all out of stock, so I bought different ones at random but…

(I think I hit the jackpot with these ♪ They have the right amount of acidity and bitterness. It’s kinda like American coffee but better. I think I’ll switch to using these from now on.)

Aah, it’s been so long since I was just able to sit down and relax while reading a magazine and sipping coffee. It almost feels like I’m living in luxury~

― Ah, they’re releasing a new model of this watch. How nice~ Should I get one when I get paid?

But I also needed to get a new autumn jacket... Ah, I also wanted to get new summer knitwear!

…Sigh. It ends up like this every time I read a new magazine. It’s like you wanna buy everything you see~ I get too greedy when it comes to these.

Should I buy this one? Or should I get this one~? I can’t decide…

Well, I have all the time in the world to think about it. Maybe after some time, I can think more calmly and my excitement about them will die down.

(And if I’m being honest, it’s not like I can buy out the whole magazine.)

(After managing the live house [1] for so long, I started to reevaluate if I really needed everything I wanted.)

(Unlike back then, I started to think about whether it was really necessary to spend so much money on material things. Stuff like coffee beans and mundane life experiences… I’ve been thinking that spending money on those things has been pretty nice too~.)

Spending my time relaxing and sipping a nice coffee like this… Money can’t buy this feeling of happiness.

…Mm? Someone’s running with pretty loud footsteps… It seems to be getting closer to here too…

Give me a break… And I was having such a peaceful afternoon too… Seriously, who the hell is stomping so loud――

???: I-I-IT’S AN EMERGANCY~!

Kaoru: …Aah. Yup, I know exactly who it is. The owner of that familiar voice has to be…

Chiaki: See, there’s the kitchen! Stay with me, Tsukinaga! Can you hear me!? HE~Y!

Kaoru: Aaand I knew it. Just as I suspected, it was Moricchi. What in the world happened? You’re in such a hurry. What’s the problem?

Chiaki: Ah, Hakaze! Perfect timing!

Sorry, but could you give me a hand? I need to bring him to that chair over there, but it’s hard to do by myself.

Kaoru: Uh, sure. It feels like I just got swept in the middle of something strange. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ll help you out.

Leo: ………

Kaoru: ―but. Moricchi, the person you’re holding up is Tsukinaga-kun, isn’t it? Why is he slumped over like that? Seriously, what happened?

Chiaki: Hmm… I’m not too sure, either. I just found Tsukinaga like this.

I was walking down the hallway to go to the kitchen when I found Tsukinaga on the floor. His stomach was growling.

Of course, I couldn’t just leave him like that, so I called out to him― But then, he just said “I’m hungry” in a weak voice. Then he lost consciousness.

Kaoru: Ahaha. That was some bad luck, Moricchi.

Chiaki: Well, don’t say that…

Anyways, since he seemed to collapse from hunger, I thought I should bring him here since there’s bound to be food in the kitchen.

Kaoru: Ohh... I see~ Isn’t this pretty normal? Like, he probably got too wrapped up in composing and forgot to eat or sleep.

Chiaki: Oh! Now that you say that, I’m pretty sure he used to collapse like this a lot in Yumenosaki. I had to pick him up and take him to the nurse’s office a few times...

Kaoru: I think every third year in Yumenosaki had to pick up a passed out Tsukinaga-kun at least once huh~

Well, I’m pretty much up to speed now. He must be hungry, so we should get him something to eat.

Chiaki: Yeah, we should! Is there anything quick to eat? Like maybe some leftover bread from breakfast…

Kaoru: I don’t think so~? I’m sure there must be some cups of ramen around somewhere, but if they belong to someone, I wouldn’t want to take them without asking first.

Hm~…

I got it. Then, I’ll make something to eat. You should stay with Tsukinaga-kun, Moricchi.

Chiaki: Eh? Make something? Hakaze, you know how to cook?

Kaoru: Um~ Only if it’s something light?

Of course, I didn’t have to cook anything myself when I was at home, so I don’t know any recipes.

Since I moved into the dorms, I’ve been doing a bit of cooking here and there. I’d say I improved a bit.

But I can’t make anything complicated, so don’t expect too much, okay?

Let’s see…… What do we have in the fridge? There are eggs, onions… and rice. I think we have some powdered soup stock, too.

Hm. I think I can make an egg bowl. [2]

Chiaki: An egg bowl…! I think that’s good!

That’s nice~ I love it! That’s so cool~ Hakaze! I’m not that great of a cook myself, so I tend to eat a lot of pre-made food! It’s cool to be able to cook something like that, so I’m jealous!

Kaoru: Yeah? Then do you wanna eat one too, Moricchi? An egg bowl.

It is around lunchtime. Making one or two bowls is pretty much the same, so I have enough ingredients.

Chiaki: Can I!? Then, I definitely want one!

Ahh I’m so happy~ I’m really excited! Eating a rice bowl made by a friend ☆

Kaoru: Ahaha. What’s with you? You’re pretty happy over something so small, aren’t you? If you get that excited about something as small as an egg bowl, then I feel pretty sorry for you~

Aright then. I’ll try to be quick, so just wait a bit.

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If you didn't know, Kaoru manages the live house found in Crossroads ! It shows up in like . Several other places too but just in case you didn't know !!!

This is what an Egg bowl (or a Tamago Donburi) is !!!

[neworderscans]

Bernard Sumner: Cash For Questions, Q Magazine 1999 (article in text below:)

Cash 4 Questions with Barney By David Quantick

© 1999 Q

He is half of Electronic, a quarter of New Order and isn’t he a naughty fellow! You blamed him for Keith Allen and asked him about as many drugs as there are drugs. In return, he denied ever having "touched himself". Meet the people Bernard Sumner.

Bernard Sumner is looking rather well. In rude health, even. This may be because Bernard Sumner has stopped eating pasties, but it’s more likely because the night before Manchester United won a football match against some Germans.

In a West London hotel, the only non-purple star called Barney lounges on a well-stuffed sofa nursing a half-bottle of Chardonnay. In spite of his numerous 43 years -20 of them spent as a member of Joy Division, New Order, Electronic, and, if you want to be pedantic, Englandneworder, the short-lived rock/footie conglomeration that brought you the rapping of John Barnes - he appears younger than he has any right to.

Moreover - bucking his Mr Miseryguts reputation - Summer appears delighted to answer even the readers’ ugliest questions. Some of his replies maybe tongue-in-cheek, and some are, frankly, lies. He may, charmingly, have faith in the beauty of moustaches, he may be eerily loath to reveal the secret of his morphing surname, but the former Bernard Dicken is proving an amenable chap. Just don’t call him Warsaw, that’s all.

Q opens the ceremonial geography project folder of questions, Sumner sips his Chardonnay and off we go.

Words David Quantick

Is True Faith about ecstasy? Trisha Farmer. Hull No. It’s about drug dependency. I don’t touch smack but when I wrote that song I tried to imagine what it’s like to be a smackhead and nothing else matters to you except that day’s hit. There’s a line in the song, “When I was a very young boy, very young boys played with me/Now we’ve grown up together, they’re afraid of what they see." The original was, “Now they’re taking drugs with me,” but Stephen Hague our producer made us change it because he said it wouldn’t be a hit if we kept that line in. He was right. It was a very big hit, but we chickened out. I change it back sometimes live.

Given your chemically excessive past, what is your parental advice to your kids concerning drugs? Anthony Clifford, Taunton Don’t go anywhere near heroin or crack or acid. Taking ecstasy’s like Russian roulette, except you've got 99,000 bullets that are empty and one that’s loaded. I don’t know anyone who’s taken cocaine where it hasn’t become a friend for life. Although you can say the same for cigarettes. I don’t smoke marijuana, but if you’re going to take a drug, that’s the best one. It’s not as bad for you as alcohol and it makes people mellow and friendly, Unfortunately, it just makes me go to sleep.

Do you still have a receiver in your head? Noel Edmunds, via e-mail I think I know what this is about. I think I came out in an interview with some bullshit answer to a question about howl wrote music. I said that I had a television aerial in my head and it picked ideas out ofthe ether and I used to work at night when everyone was asleep. Maybe I did write in a different way in those days. I think now I’ve not got that many problems in my life, I want to write songs about the ones I have got, rather than that kind of... dreamscape. I used to be pretty sort of dreamy and go off on one. I still can do it. I sat in my room for twelve hours just not watching television or anything, just thinking.

What made you piss yourself on Every Little Counts? Jamie BIundell, Rednal The words were so bad, basically (“I think you are a pig/You should be in a zoo”). We kept it on because it was better than the original lyric.

What’s your excuse for having a moustache when you were Warsaw? Ursula Stevenson, Reading It’s a popular misconception that we were called Warsaw. We were never called Warsaw. At our first concert we changed it to Joy Division (He is reminded of the question) The moustach? I’d forgotten all about that. In those days moustaches were really big. The thing I was embarrassed about was it was a bumlluff moustache that didn’t quite join in the middle. Bit like Noel’s eyebrows. No, the opposite of Noel’s eyebrows. It looked like I had Noel’s eyebrows on my lip. I’ll stand by my moustache. If you look at most pop stars, you’ll find some kind of styling error in their past history.

When joy Division started, why did you keep changing your surname, from Dicken to Albrecht to Sumner? Dove Clarke, Salford Family reasons. I’d rather not go into it.

Ian Curtis, 1999 - what would he be up to? Matt Palmer, Worcestershire It’s hard to imagine because Ian was very ill. I can’t imagine him in the ‘90s. He once threatened to go off and leave the group and buy a corner shop in Bournemouth. It was an off-licence that sold books as well, I think that was his idea. These mad, completely illogical thoughts used to come into his head from time to time. So maybe eventually he would have done that. I think he would have been a writer, because he was always reading books and he was always writing anyway. Or maybe he would have retired a millionaire by now, who knows? Silly sod.

Is it true that Touched By The Hand Of God is about whacking off Aidan Vaziri, San Francisco (Long pause followed by wide-eyed response) What’s whacking off mean? (It is explained to him) I would not write a song about masturbating, No, it’s not, most definitely isn’t. And I've never done that in my life ever. Ever. Do people really do that? Masturbate? Do you masturbate? I’ve never done it ever in my life. I’ve certainly never written a song about it. (Confidentially) It’s about bestiality, actually.

Do you regret doing that Prozac documentary? Wasn’t it a rather strange thing to do? Damon Williams, Bromley I regret it but not bitterly. It was interesting tak-ing Prozac because I don’t really suffer from depression but I can be a melancholic sort of person. It was interesting being a different person for seven months. It really agreed with me. I still think it’s a very, very interesting drug. I found when I took it if I had problems, then instead of me crumbling before my problems, I would deal with the problems.

Quote a lyric from the second Electronic album that isn’t from the single, Forbidden City. William Haas, Winchester Um... I honestly can’t be bothered. You tell me. What a trainspotter. All right, here’s one: “Misguided youth/You mix some juice with alcohol." It’s from Liquor.

Finish the sentence, in less than 10 words, “Manchester is great because..." Carl Hedges, Liverpool We’ve got the best football team, we've got the best bands, we’ve got the best gang violence scene anywhere in Britain, It’s always sunny there, it never rains...

You and Michael jackson are the only pop stars who whoop. Discuss. Heather Thompson, London NB Ha ha ha! Well, I get excited. Whoopings a primeval expression of enjoyment, and sometimes if I’m getting into a vocal take, I just get into it. If I’m at a club, I like whistling... I was at a club in Bath and this girl got a bouncer over to stop me (demonstrates incredibly powerful, piercing whistle). I don’t get excited very often but when I do, I get really excited. I’ll stop doing it now, I’ll get self-conscious about it.

When did you last touch Pernod? Steve Heath, Keighley Um... Well, Pernod’s been replaced by Absinthe. There’s this whole ritual where you bake some up on a spoon, a bit like freebasing. That stuff’s like rocket fuel, I had a couple of nights with Alex James out of Blur, a couple of disastrous nights drinking Absinthe, and I don’t even remember drinking it.

Have you ever been down to your last dollar and how did you cope? Adrian Gibbon, Bassetbury Balloons Party Shop, High Wycombe It was on New Order’s first US tour and I didn’t really get the idea of tipping - I’m a bit of a tight bastard and I find the whole idea of tipping abhorrent. We bought a beer in a club and it was 75 cents, So I thought, well, you’ve got to tip here or they'll go fucking mad. I only had a dollar, I didn’t have any more money so I him the dollar and said, Keep the change, and he went, "You fucking Manc bastard," and threw the 25 cents at me.

Do you own a Sainsbury’s reward card? Jill Cash, Amersham I do, but it’s mysteriously gone missing. I probably left it in the toilet somewhere. I keep losing odd credit cards,,, It didn’t have many points on it because I cashed it. I have a special platinum reward card. You get more points than other people, being a celebrity and that.

I saw you purchase a tuna sandwich from Spinks in Wilmslow. It was a cold day - why didn’t you buy a pasty like me? Were you trying to be hard? Andy Parr, Maclesfield Ha ha ha! I’m trying to lose a bit of weight, that’s why! Tuna's much more healthy for you and I'm trying to go on a health kick. I can’t eat pasties any more without affecting my, ah, already fragile waistline.

What’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex? Polly Winterton, London W12 I couldn’t possibly tell you without offending someone. Um... ah... I might get in trouble. I'm trying to think of which particular unusual place out of all the unusual places...

Don’t you feel ashamed for having started Keith Allen out in his pop career? K Allen (thankfully no relation), Bromley Heh heh heh! K. Allen? Um... em... I think Keith’s made a wonderful contribution to pop. I think the Fat Les records are some of the all-time classic songs that’ll go down as... ‘90's classics. I’m very proud of Keith’s contribution to pop music and I’m sure that every time there’s some kind of football event to cash in on... er! help to promote I’m sure Keith’ll be there with one of his wonderful renditions.

What’s your best Shaun Ryder story? Jane Smith, Liverpool Which one? I’ve got about three. He went out in his car to score and he crashed into a vicar in a Lada. He had 500 quid in his pocket and he said to the vicar, "Look, mate, your car’s not worth 500 quid, I’ll give you this ifyou don’t call the cops." He was a vicar and he wouldn’t take it, so Shaun said, "Well, fuck off then," and got in his car and drove off. About ten minutes later, the police knocked at his house and he said, how did you find me so quick? And they just showed him his number plate. He’d left his number plate at the scene of the crime. What else? There’s a few disgusting ones...

Did you really do a version of Blue Monday for a Sunkist ad? If so, how did the lyrics go? Peter Rees, Shrewsbury (Recites) "How does it feel/When you’re drinking in the sun? Something something something/Sunkist is the one/How does it feel/When you’re drinking in the sun/All you’ve got to believe/Is Sunkist is the one" I didn’t write them. We got offered £100,000 to do it. I kept laughing when I was singing it, so Hooky (Peter Hook, New Order bassist) got a piece card and wrote “£100,000” on it, held it up, and I sang it perfectly. But then Rob Gretton (New Order’s late manager) turned up and put the kibosh on it. There’s a remix of Blue Monday by Steve “Silk” Hurley and it’s got the Sunkist lyrics on it.

People who bought the Electronic album probably see it as a substitute for New Order, and primarily use Electronic to fill the gap until the next New Order album What do you think of that? Nicklas Mandahl Enevaldsen, Denmark Well... very pleased. Fucking hell, what do you expect me to say? Um... Thank God not everybody’s like that.

Former Factory Records boss Tony Wilson comes to you with a sure-fire business proposition that “just can’t fail”. What do you do? Kevin Leslie, Oldham Ha ha! Ha ha! Piss myself laughing. In fact that’s what happened when we were recording Every Little Counts... Tony came in with a sure-fire business proposition.

Does Steven (Morris, New Order drummer) let you play with his tank? Lee Hollows, Birmingham I’ve sat in his tank, yeah. Steve’s got a tank that he has permanently pointed at my house. Me and Steve play with it and we’re in training for Kosovo. When the troops go in, we hope be in the vanguard of operations. We’re keeping the gun well-oiled and we’re going to shove it right up Slobodan’s arse. In fact, someone up the road from Steve’s had the same tank, and they’ve got a slight design fault which means that you’re driving along and swerve, it’s uncontrollable, and this guy’s tank did this and decapitated his wife. It was because it was on the news and there was a picture of Steve’s tank - we were “Steve’s crashed the tank and Gillian’s been decapitated”. So I don’t think I’ll be going in it again.

What’s your favorite memory of Rob Gretton? Ruth Quest, Gloucester (long pause) um.,. Rob used to say to everyone, “What are you doing?” nothing, Rob, nothing: “What should you be doing? Skin up!” I’ll remember those words.

Web link/source

[justnerdy15]

one step forward, three steps back (daily snippet 8.20.23)

wip: Come Back Home wc: 763 background: Edith's father pays a visit to the house. It doesn't end well. prompt: @flashfictionfridayofficial broken mirror warnings: off-screen violence

The house is ruined. Gaping holes in the drywall, overturned furniture, a rotten smell wafting from the kitchen.

As Edith gingerly steps through the wreckage, noting the torn magazines and ripped cushions scattered about, a list of everything that needs to be done is already starting to form in her head.

Call the school and see if they will keep the kids for a bit after the day ends. God knows, this is the last thing they need to see.

Call the caseworker and tell him Michael’s gone off the fucking deep-end again. Off to who knows where doing who knows what.

Check her lockbox. The medicine cabinet. Mom’s jewelry box. The kids’ rooms.

See if any of this can saved.

“Fuck,” Edith says under her breath, headache already pulsing in her temple. She looks into the kitchen and swears again.

It looks like he opened every single fucking thing in there and dumped it on the floor. Plates. Cups. Milk. Eggs. Cereal. Juice. He even punctured the goddamn cans from the pantry and threw them out as well.

Edith breathes out heavily, nails digging into her palms, and tries to tamper down the anger crawling up her throat, acidic and burning.

Anger isn’t going to help right now.

She forces her hands to relax, uncurling them slowly, and steps away from the kitchen doorway. She hasn’t even see the full extent of the damage yet.

The hallway hadn’t been spared either. The fresh paint, not all the way dried yet, pulled away in spidery strips from where the walls had been bashed in. Picture frames knocked down on to the floor. The glass smashed.

Edith presses her lips together into a thin line and bends down to gently pick up one of the frames, where Marty and Mason smile back at her with toothy six year old grins. She sniffs, tilting the frame to let the glass tumble to the floor, before plucking the photo out. Then, she goes to the next frame and then the next. Taking photos out as carefully as she can, not wanting to tear them, making her way down the hall. Can’t risk loosing these.

As the carpet crunches underneath her sneakers, she reaches the first of the bedrooms. Penny’s. The door’s beaten in a bit, wood splintering in the middle, but when she tries the doorknob it blessedly refuses to turn in her hand. Thank god. She peaks in through the split wood and breathes out a sigh of relief when the violet room is still in the same pristine condition.

Edith checks Peter’s next. Messy, but in a teenage boy kind of way and not in a raging alcoholic father way.

Fuck. Maybe it isn’t as bad as she thought.

But as she goes to check the next room, the bathroom, she is immediately proven wrong.

The walls are covered in vibrant markers, the same ones tossed on the floor, with written nonsense and curses from top to bottom. Large shards of the mirror blankets the sink and floor, leaving only the corners safely secured to the wall.

Edith can still see bits of writing on the shards. Colorful letters that once made the little messages she left for everyone. From I-love-you-s to dinner plans to the little scribbles the kids left. Even Mom had left a heart or note on occasion.

And it’s destroyed now. Broken and ruined and dangerous.

All because her father didn’t get what he wanted.

All because he decided to come back.

This isn’t fair; things were getting better. The house. Mom. Her relationship with her siblings. She thought they were finally getting past this. That it was going to be different this time around.

Her breath hitches in her chest and she bites down on her lip as she steps into the bathroom. The results of her efforts breaking underneath her.

All this work and it was for nothing. Nothing’s changed and she’s so stupid for believing otherwise. Why couldn’t he stay away? Why does Mom keep letting him come back? Doesn’t she understand — Doesn’t she care? This isn’t — This isn’t—

A sob breaks loose from her chest and hot humiliating tears start slipping down her cheeks. She scrubs at her face with one hand, trying to stop the tears, but it only makes her cries louder, breath stuttering, and she fumbles for somewhere to sit. Edith drops down onto the edge of the tub, spilled shampoo soaking into her jeans, and buries her face in her hand while the other holds on tightly to the photos.

[unlikelypeacheggsbanana-blog]

Mad Scientist Ei x reader pt- 1

TW : dead animals (animal specimens), mentions of blood

Chapter 1 : Red crocs

I was greeted with an overwhelming smell of antiseptic as I entered the lab. It also smelled faintly of blood. I looked around; shelves upon shelves of chemicals, a cupboard full of animal specimens, a fire extinguisher in the corner and a huge lab safety rules poster. Most of the text on the poster had melted away. It likely had acid thrown on it. I took a deep breath and approached a shelf. None of the chemical containers were labeled. Now, that was a disaster waiting to happen.

I moved on to the next shelf. The containers here looked more battered up than the previous ones. Some chemicals even started leaking through. I took a whiff of them. They smelled rancid. I instinctively covered my nose. 

This was not what I signed up for.

I work as a journalist for Fava pvt. Ltd. Just another gossip magazine company.

So, you could imagine my surprise when Dr. Raiden Ei, a world famous biochemist reached out to us for an interview.

She was known for conducting morally questionable experiments. People denounced her and made her out to be a villain. She lost her funding because of her bad reputation. But she continued her research in secret. I want to help her prove people wrong. I never realized how much of myself I saw in her until now.

I strode to the animal specimen display. I touched the ice cold glass. A chill went down my spine. The animals in the display were bizarre; a two-tailed lizard, a two-headed turtle, a transparent frog and many more. Watching these creatures float around in their jar of preservatives was a gruesome yet fascinating sight. I was repulsed but I couldn't get myself to look away.

What if I was one of them, what if I spent the rest of my life trapped?

"Please don't touch the display."

Her commanding voice shook me out of my stupor. I pulled my hand away and slid it into my pocket. I tucked a few stray hairstrands behind my ear before turning to look at her. There she was, Dr. Raiden Ei in the flesh. She wore a muted purple shirt and grey slacks. Her lab coat was covered in scorch marks and stains. She also wore yellow crocs - an interesting fashion choice.

"Sorry, I got curious." I blurted out. My voice was squekier than I expected. I looked at her lips as she spoke. How can anyone be this beautiful? When her lips parted, they looked like plum blossom petals dancing in the autumn wind. I know exactly how they'd feel on my fingers; on my tong-

"That's alright, just don't touch it again." She replied. She took my hand and placed a hair tie on it. Her hands were rough but they felt nice on my skin. I guess decades of hard work will do that to your hands.

I want to feel every crease of her hand, caress the bone of her wrist and maybe even- 

"You must tie your hair up before we enter my lab." She asserted. I did as I was told.

But weren't we already in her lab? I decided against asking her. She was quite intimidating. She signaled me to follow her.

We were walking through a dimly lit hallway. The paint on the walls was peeling away. I could see white puffs of my breath as I exhaled. I rubbed my palms together for warmth.

I've never seen anything as odd as this lab before. Or anyone as odd as her. I can't say I'm unfazed.

Usually, when I'm feeling uneasy I'd have a chat with someone. Whether it be about something mundane like the latest movies or sharing personal stories, it always cheers me up. It gets me out of the mental cell I lock myself in. Dr. Ei didn't seem like a very chatty person. But if I don't speak up now I'm scared I'll start crying during our interview.

"Those are some nice crocs! I have the same ones but in red. I usually wear them with white or yellow socks so my feet can look like strawberries."

Oh my God. What the fuck did I just say.

Dr.Ei stopped in her tracks but didn't turn to look at me. She must be dying from the second-hand embarrassment. I need to do some damage control. "I'm sorry, that was very unprof-" I started.

" That's very innovative. I'll be sure to try that with my red crocs as well." She deadpanned. I nearly got whiplash from hearing her say something so silly in a monotonous voice. But I'm glad she took it so well.

"We're here." She announced. We stood in front of a large metal door with a keypad fixed to the side. I watched her closely as she tapped in the pass code. 62610, I lost count after the 5th digit. I burned it into my memory, it might prove to be useful someday. Maybe I'm just overthinking but you can never be too careful.

Dr. Ei straightened her posture, almost as if she was nervous. "Let's head in." She said as she pushed the door open.

From the sound of it, it was very heavy. I wonder how she opened it so easily.

I pursed my lips and followed her in. She showed me to my seat.

"So, for the first question-"

[dbstaches]

MATERIAL WORLD: THE GRID Grid your loins, it's Dave Ball (left) and Richard Norris Picture: Roger Sargent

NME magazine, 30 October 1993 — full article text bellow

WHERE ARE YOU NOW AND HOW DO YOU FEEL? RICHARD: In the Village Inn as usual, unshaven, post-remixing lag DAVE: The Village Inn, tired and emotional

FIRST RECORD YOU EVER BOUGHT? R: ‘Blockbuster’, The Sweet D: ‘Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes’, Edison Lighthouse

WHO WOULD DIRECT THE ‘TEXAS COWBOYS’ MOVIE? R: Andy Warhol, if he was alive, Lonesome Cowboys 2 D: Sam Peckinpah – lots of fake blood

WHICH CHARACTER WOULD YOU HAVE PLAYED IN THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY? R: Clint – for the stubble and cheroots D: Lee Van Cleef. He wears black clothes, smokes cigars – my kind of guy

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW MARC ALMOND AND WHAT WAS HE DOING? D: On TV, doing a costume-change at Royal Albert Hall

DESCRIBE EACH OTHER IN THREE WORDS? R: Jolly Uncle Jack D: Griff Rhys Jones

WAS VIC REEVES AS SURREAL IN REAL LIFE? R: Haddock

FONDEST MEMORY OF YOUR NME DAYS? R: Jack Barron ranting, Fred Dellar (gawd bless ’im) and two weeks in Ibiza on expenses

MOST EMBARRASSING RECORD IN YOUR COLLECTION? R: A double LP of Barbara Woodhouse teaching dogs to sit. Walkies! D: ‘In The Night’ by Tony Blackburn

HOW DO YOU SEE THE FUTURE OF SPAGHETTI DISCO? R: Take That doing ‘Rawhide’

BEST THING ABOUT PERFORMING LIVE? R: Watching the wide-eyed and legless

WHAT INSPIRES YOU? R: Punk rock, disco D: Everything

WORST FLYING EXPERIENCE? R: Being in economy class D: Flying from LA to London on acid; flying from London to the South of France with Depeche Mode, dropping 1,000 feet when we hit an air pocket

WHO WOULD BE YOUR DREAM COLLABORATION? R: Iggy Pop D: A film score with John Barry/Angelo Badalamenti

IF YOU HAD A LABEL WHICH TWO ROCK ACTS WOULD YOU SIGN? R: AC/DC, Nine Inch Nails D: Zodiac Mindwarp, The Ramones

WHAT DID YOU THINK WHEN THEY DESCRIBED YOUR MUSIC AS “JUNGLE” ON CORONATION STREET? R: Smashing, chuck D: I liked it so much I sampled it

FIRST BANDS? R: The Innocent Vicars, The Fruitbats, The Wild Kitchen, East Of Eden D: Soft Cell

HOW MANY TELEVISIONS DO YOU OWN R: About 20. I got a fine for not having a license

DESCRIBE YOUR TOTP EXPERIENCE? D: Tedium-tastic

THREE GREAT THINGS ABOUT THAILAND AT CHRISTMAS? R: The sky at night, bats, blue-capped evenings with neon fish

HOW WOULD YOU SPEND AN IDEAL SUNDAY AFTERNOON? R: Horizontally, after a bad game of golf D: Lunch with friends and good wine

WHAT'S THE WEIRDEST SITUATION YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN? R: Being surrounded by Hackney constabulary with Genesis and Paula P Orridge at 5am after imitating a Sunday People reporter D: Running naked down a Madrid hotel corridor with Stevo, wielding two replica Flintlock pistols, chasing two Spanish girls

FAVOURITE PEOPLE? D: Richard & Judy, Paul Merton, Dennis The Barman

CAN YOU RETIRE ON THE MONEY ‘TAINTED LOVE’ MADE IN AMERICA? D: No, but I'm, sure our American lawyers and A&R men could!

WHAT DID MADONNA DO WHEN YOU UPSTAGED HER IN NEW YORK? D: She forgave me the next morning

CHOOSE A RECORD TO WAKE UP TO/SLEEP TO/HAVE SEX TO R: Wake up: ‘Cobalt Blue’, Michael Brook. Sleep: ‘Music For Airports’, Brian Eno. Sex: ‘There's A Riot Goin' On’, Sly And The Family Stone D: Wake up: ‘Rise And Shine’, The Flintstones. Sleep: ‘Very/Relentless’, Pet Shop Boys. Sex: ‘Neroli’, Brian Eno

WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO? R: Write a mean paragraph. I could be an A&R man if I was really desperate D: Top oarsman and not a bad cook

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO? R: Like Aldous Huxley