#Because it was in part inspired by a video I found of a small group of college age brits being tricked into chanting it in a Dublin pub

[pyrepostings]

I had an old dsmp fansong stuck in my head so I listened to it and now I realized that might have been a mistake because now youtube's playing a bunch of dsmp fansongs into my ear at work which means yall get to hear my If Kevin Was A CC In The DSMP fanfic ideas under the cut. (Also note that it's been about three years since I've watched a stream from that server or most of those streamers so sorry if anything is out of character for the real people. However I think these interactions would be funny so really I don't care)

First off on a technical level, the way I've been imagining Kevin in fanfic type scenarios is as a ghost. After he dies in canon he haunts the world mostly freely but he can't usually be seen or heard or interacted with. He'll be drawn though to suffering and captivity, and found that *sometimes* the whumpee can see and hear him (though he can't talk because his tongue was cut out during his final captivity and that carries over into death) he can try to comfort them with his presence or humming a light tune.

This template allows him to still be *him* while still interacting with the story without actually having an impact on direction of the plot which means he can just hang out in the background most of the time but I can imagine comfort or angst (or both) for the whumpee (and kevin) when whumper's not around.

So for DSMP fanfic in my head, I'd have to break this format a little. Maybe he gets it in his head to wonder if he can possess things yet and possesses the server itself. Maybe he knows what he's getting into maybe he doesn't. All that matters is he shows up one day early on and everyone thinks someone else invited him.

And now for the specific interactions I'm imagining in my head.

I think, especially given the nature of early L'manberg, Kevin, the Irishman and fenian-alligned man that he is, would find an opportunity to drop a Tiocfaidh ár lá in the chat (which for those not in the know is an irish revolutionary phrase equivalent to 'from the river to the sea Palestine will be free' in english it means 'our day will come')

And then maybe tubbo_ specifically, being the child brit that he is, will ask "wait what does that mean?"

And Kevin, smelling blood in the water, would reply, "It's pronounced 'chucky are law' and is commonly used by us Irish to say hello. And goodbye (it's like aloha ya see) but can be used to express general agreement. You should say it loads next time you come visit Dublin :)"

And tubbo_ would believe him wholeheartedly like "Ok yay <3 I'm learning so much about your culture :) I feel so educated <3"

And this interaction would be realitively forgotten for a short time until he says it to an older brit who would actually know what it means like Phil or Wil (maybe the whole sbi crew is in a vc) and Phil leans into the mic for emphasis the way he does and just goes "the fuck you just say to me tubbo"

"I said chucky are law it means hello :) wait why are you mad at me Phil :("

And philza, for whom it is far to early in the morning to be explaining such things, has to explain "no, tubbo, you can't say that on stream, that's not what it means. It's a revolutionary phrase that a lot of people have killed and died using it."

"But Hamilton was also a revolution and if it's a revolutionary phrase then it's fine right?"

And while Phil is trying to explain the difference between role-playing the backwards fanfic of a revolution that happened 300 years ago and using a phrase that has been used as a rallying cry for people who have killed in the recent day after a culmination of 800 years of oppression and how one is ok and one is not,

Wilbur would at this point take the side of 'a revolutionary phrase is a revolutionary phrase. If the local Irishman said its OK to use then it's ok to use' while Tommy wouldn't know anything about the topic beyond the current conversation but would probably take wils side to take his side and to argue for the sake of arguing.

And meanwhile Kevin is floating in a void infront of a disembodied twitch stream screen watching the whole thing going down while eating popcorn like "Yes this is how the phrase is meant to be used from its conception: to sow discontent between brits. They should refer to the authority of their Local Irishman more often."

And then they eventually settle on maybe not using it without fully acknowledging all the real world implications, Kevin lets it go (not before finding an opportunity to ask if Phil was calling him a terrorist when that's absolutely not what he was saying, to push his buttons)

And then much later Kevin drops In a 'up the 'ra' in the chat to which tubbo again asks something along the lines of "what like the sun god?"

And Kevin is like 'dude you have to know that one' "Yes the Egyptian God of the sun :) referring to him is how the Egyptians say hello. And to express general agreement-"

anyway~

When he's not being a gremlin and giving fenian phrases to british children like poisoned candy, there's a few Americans I think he would hang out with. I think he'd give Eret shit for conflating being queer with a monarchy, but ultimately concede that it's a really cool build and the rainbow beacon has really cool redstone which he doesn't really understand.

Kevin would have referred to himself as simply Bi for most of his life, but I think if he talked to Karl about Karl's greyace identity Kevin would learn about the split attraction model and adjust his own label accordingly. (Towards women he's heterosexual aromantic, to guys he's romantic demisexual. I dont think he needs to be specifically labeled in canon but its what he is in my head the whole time. Its why he takes a long time to get in bed with a guy but gets really close to them in a way he doesnt with girls. Its also why he cant tell the difference between sexual and romantic attraction, because he gets both as surface level feelings but they manifest differently depending on whether it's towards a guy or a girl and he just assumes he has underlying misogyny issues to figure out. Point is he's only ever been in one long term sexual relationship and it was Julian ok? Ok.)

as far as actually interacting with the plot, I think he would aid lmanberg and oppose schlatt's manberg. Yknow, opposing tyrants on principle. He'd be friends with Techno. He'd oppose both Sam and dream for being tyrants. And the eggpire. Damn there were a lot of tyrants in that story.

He'd visit Tommy in his exile. He would fulfill his original calling with that. He'd try to tell him he knows what it's like to put yourself high up over an ocean and wonder how worth it would be to jump. That he won't force him to stop but that he really wishes he won't step off. He would do everything he can but this is the first time he can actually physically stand between the whumper and the whumpee, and somehow it would manage to not be enough.

Dream would be brought to the brink of death and captured as he was in canon I liked that. Kevin would oppose letting a cruel man and a tyrant live and would immediately aid any plot against the prison so he could destroy the prison and kill dream.

I dont know if he'd help with the final destruction of lmanberg. I think he'd stand against it actually. Tubbo and Tommy finally got what they wanted, a city state peacefully existing in their corner of the world. There may have been a betrayal, but only because of the previously established tyrant dream. Lmanburg finally achieved the ideal it was working towards, i think he would fight to defend it, even against people like Nicky who were there from the start and are turning on it now. I think it would still not be enough, and would still fall into irrepairable ruin. He might try to talk Techno out of it beforehand but it wouldn't work.

There was definitely more interactions I had in mind but I don't remember them now. I just wanted to get them out of my system.

If anyone read this far and wants to know the song which prompted all this, it was vantage by Halfy&Winks, and Oblivion by them is a banger too. There's only like 3 dsmp song channels I would recommend to people not in the fandom and they're one of them.

[angelosearch]

I wanted to share something my therapist and I discussed today that perhaps will be helpful for others.

So I have been having a great time lately, sinking deep into fandom, writing, and creating art. It's been invigorating. I am so inspired and I feel as though I have found my people.

But I told my therapist that I had a lingering sense of guilt about it. Does socializing on Tumblr make me a shut-in? Does having a lot of internet friends make me chronically online? Is it a bad thing that I look forward to spending weekends writing and painting and listening to music instead of going out with friends or traveling?

She asked me: Why would it be bad? Who told you that?

"Dateline, probably," I said. "Chris Hansen."

Truthfully, I did an independent study of technology and rhetoric in college and I know, from a psychological perspective, there are some things a digital relationship just can't do for your brain. So Sherry Turkle is probably the other answer.

But what is community? How does it form?

Communities typically form around a common geographic location, goal, or interest. Your neighborhood is your community. If you like soccer, maybe your community is your sports team and those who cheer for it. If you want to celebrate a certain deity, your community may be the people you do that with. These forms of community normally have clear physical meeting locations.

"But your main interests are consuming and creating media," my therapist said. She's not wrong. "Where can you go for that community?"

In the physical world, there is no space or infastructure to support communities around all interests. There are video game clubs, sure. There are meetup groups for certain shows. But these communities are often small, transient, gatekept, inaccessible, or in far-flung parts of the country. I am sure all communities have those issues in some respect, but really - where can you physically and consistently meet up with people interested in a variety of media for free in a physical space?

Libraries? Maybe?

The internet is the space for my main interest. This is where I can go to be myself and be excited and know that I will be celebrated for it by people who feel the same. We are a community of people who love FFVIII or writing or media of all types. There shouldn't be shame in that because it is a goddamn miracle that this space exists and I can share it with people of all ages all around the world.

So, Chris Hansen, Sherry Turkle, and everyone who snickers at my internet usage: yeah, maybe there are some things I can't do/have online. But there are some things I can't have offline either!

I am not chronically online. I am enthusiastically online. I love this little corner of the internet and it's okay if it sometimes feels better than doing stuff "irl." I can enjoy being here and not feel guilty and still go afk and "touch grass" or whatever. Both can be true.

[jayniks]

Can I req for Yandere!Jake X Reader oneshot?

I didn't know if you wanted a soft, normal or hardcore yandere so I put them all. I was inspired by a yandere simulator video that I saw hehe

Word count: 1,8k

Warnings: death, obsession, blood, yandere themes, bullying, humiliation, harassment, framing a crime, arrest and maybe a little bit of madness

Synopsis: Jake loses his mind when he sees that you're dating someone else, throwing away his years of work.

»»————-　★　————-««

Jake was in love with you since years ago, it all started because you had to do a group project with him. Obviously, Jake was charmed by the way you treated him so he decided that the way to win you over from him was to be detailed with you. He couldn't be that detailed with you in person since you were part of the popular group at school and your friends were known for not treating the other students well, if you know what I mean. These reasons led Jake to have to show his love to you in another way. Every day without fail since he met you, he put roses in your locker with a letter always talking about how beautiful you are and how you are the most unique person on this planet. Sure, you didn't know who he was, but Jake knew you had a "crush" on him from the way you talked about your secret admirer. Every lunch, he would see you read the letters that he sent you and he would see how you would blush with a smile on your face, he was satisfied with everything.

One day, he saw that there was another boy reading the letter he had left for you, doesn't he know what privacy is? maybe he got the wrong locker since the boy was new. His theory was "true" when he put the letter in his envelope closing it as carefully as possible and leaving everything in order to then close the box and leave. Poor idiot, Jake thought, letting out a small laugh.

What Jake didn't know is that that boy would continue doing that for months until one day you caught him putting things in your locker. "excuse me, what are you doing?" you said as you went to him with your friends. "y-y/n! I'm so sorry, don't look!" he said as he tried to put everything in his place. This seemed cute to you, maybe you found your crush after so many years? You didn't know him but after seeing all the details you received from him, who doesn't fall in love?

You invited him to have lunch with you to get to know him more.

Jake was horrified, HOW DARE THAT BOY PRESENT AS HIM???!!! He tried to stay calm, obviously you were going to realize that he wasn't your admirer but Jake, so he kept leaving you presents.

For your part, you had become too close to that boy but you felt that it was too strange that he was talking to you and that, when you went to your locker, you kept receiving those details.

"Miss y/n, can you repeat what I just said" your teacher said, you were not paying attention due to your thoughts.

"oh, I'm so sorry miss choi, I didn't hear"

"Next time concentrate in class or I'll have to put a note on it, I wish everyone luck in their work in pairs"

work in pairs?! Because you were submerged in your thoughts, you didn't pay attention to the subject of work or who was your couple, so you waited for her to come closer, which didn't take long.

"Hello, y/n right?" You recognized that voice, it was Jake, the guy you did a job with a while ago. It was fun doing the job with him since he always had the right information. "Yeah, it's me, how have you been Jake ?"

They talked for a long time, but you had work to do, you suggested him to come to your house (which Jake obviously agreed to).

He felt his heart beat faster when he saw how you had a box that said "letters <3" and in it were the letters that he himself wrote. "what are these?" he asked pretending he didn't know. "oh, they're some letters from my boyfriend." YOUR BOYFRIEND?! Did you consider him your boyfriend? Jake couldn't hide his smile at that moment, that was the work of fate. You had invited him to his house, have to do the work with you and you kept his letters, these were no longer simple coincidences, they were the universe sending him a signal.

"jk, it's not my boyfriend, it's just a person who put these things in my locker" you said as you put the box of letters in another place "they belong to a guy I met a few weeks ago, I found him putting the letters in my locker, although now I am in doubt if that is really the boy that I expected so much or maybe I idealized him a lot" you said while you sat down. "why do you say that?" Jake asked sitting next to you, "I feel like, his personality isn't the same as the ones shown in the cards, but my friends say I should go out with him anyway because no one has treated me that good before." This was already the last straw, first the boy pretends to be him and is always with you and then your friends tell you that you should go out with him, Jake was not going to tolerate people trying to separate you from him anymore.

The presentation had gone very well, you had obtained the highest rating. You wanted to be closer to Jake since he was the only person who remained neutral on the subject of your "crush" and supported you regardless of your decision. You finally decided to go out with the guy and give him a chance, which made your friends shower you with compliments and hugs, except for Jake. He was poker faced and just stood up and went to the roof.

He began to think of so many ways in which he could get rid of that leech that would be absorbing your time and love, but none of them convinced him until the idea of making him suffer without killing him came to his mind. He loved it and decided to add your friends to the plan because they had applauded your decision to be with that plague.

You were at the pool with your friends and your boyfriend arrived wearing a hello kitty print bathing suit. Obviously, everyone started laughing and making fun of him, some took photos and videos. You just sat there watching and feeling uncomfortable at how your boyfriend seemed confused by the obvious teasing of his swimsuit choice.

Your friends were laughing until the swimming teacher came and shut them up by sending them to detention for making fun of his classmate.

Teasing like this continued for months and you didn't know why they made fun of him so much or why he did things that others made fun of when he was your boyfriend and they pressured you to go out with him. Your friends.

Instead, Jake was always there, cheering him on. When the pool thing happend, jake lent your boyfriend some new shorts. When he gave you flowers with bees, there was jake with a repellent. Jake always supported you. Obviously, it wasn't a coincidence, Jake always planned everything. Being your closest friend, jake was indirectly giving ideas to your partner, it was all part of jake's plan.

You were already tired of your boyfriend, you missed him leaving gifts in your locker, it was as if after being a couple he didn't even make an effort to continue loving you. You were thinking about whether to break up with him or just keep going until he gets tired of you.

You were entering the room when you saw that your friends were laughing very hard, when you approached to them, you saw Jake asking for something back while your friends laughed taking a piece of paper. "Hey, what are you doing? Give it back" you said as you took the letter away.

"N-NO Y/N! GIVE IT TO ME", it was too late for Jake, you had already read that letter. You were in shock, it was the same handwriting as your secret admirer, it was the same way of writing, it was the same person.

Jake froze, this was the end.

Your friends kept laughing and making fun of Jake while the two of you just stood there, frozen and saying nothing, staring at the ground.

He was tired. He was sick of the teasing, the laughs, having to put up with seeing you with someone who wasn't him, seeing you **love** someone who wasn't him. He was sick of having to wait. So he just got fed up with it and decided to act fast or he could lose you forever.

You had arrived at school too late and you did not see your friends anywhere, in fact, you did not see anyone in the corridors. It was supposed to be break time and everyone was supposed to be in the halls, but maybe they were in the courtyard or you came during a meeting.

You saw Jake come out of the bathrooms ordering things in his backpack so you decided to approach him to talk about yesterday's event. He was trying not to make eye contact with you but looking at you he just broke down. There he let out everything he has kept for years, how you make him feel even with a single sigh, the way his heart races just by seeing you exist, etc.

You were really happy that Jake had been your crush, you know he would never do anything bad, you felt very safe with Jake, right? You wanted to go to class since you were supposed to be in one now, but for some reason Jake told you that it was better to stay in the bathrooms or skip class and go home.

When you entered the room the scene was horrible, it was a scene from a horror movie. It was a massacre, but it seemed that the only place left untouched was your "partner's" stall.

"j-jake" you were so horrified you could hardly formulate words. You wanted to run but your body didn't respond, it seemed like you were going to vomit at any moment.

"y/n I'm really so sorry" Jake said as he walked over to you and patted your shoulder. There were corpses everywhere, blood on the walls and everything was messy. "w-what happened here?..."

"y/n, let's go" Jake said grabbing your wrist and running quickly from there.

The police blamed your partner, how not to do it? Jake planned everything perfectly. They knew your friends always bothered him and they thought he got tired of being teased, they knew you and jake didn't bother him so it was obvious why he left you both alive, that mixed with his stall being clean and they found in his backpack a knife (obviously planted by jake) got him arrested.

You were devastated, all your friends were gone, but there was Jake, protecting you and loving you, no one was going to separate them anymore. You were finally just Jake's.

[watchoutforthefanfics]

achievement unlocked 🔓 (part three) || Streamer AU! Reddie (IT)

Part 1, 2

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: this prompt

Summary: Richie liked to play video games, and by some stroke of luck, it became his job. Being primarily known as Trashmouth on stream, he found his own little group of streamer friends and they became intertwined: The Losers Club. It never did feel quite complete, though. Well, until, he got his very own backseat gamer in chat.

TWs: internet stalking, innuendos, lots of talk of sex (it's Richie), vague mention of one night stands, low self-worth, a little angst, loneliness, imposter syndrome, cursing, and shameless flirting.

[[A/N: Enjoy :))]]

Richie was not delusional. Stupid, yeah. But delusional? If anything, he was oblivious.

If someone was into him, he knew fuck all about it.

That being said, what he was doing now was not delusional. It was stupid. And Richie knew that just to clarify.

He was up too late again, and he'd say he was bored. But he was mostly kind of curious.

Sometimes he stayed up scrolling through his Instagram feed, usually sort of wistfully. He scrolled through a lot of the couples tags, mostly because he hated himself. And then he had a thought, a spare thought.

of course you are fuckface

Right. That happened.

He shouldn't be as affected by it as he is, but he guesses he can't control that. And so maybe he had the thought: are you handsome, Eds?

You know, it feels better when it's from someone fucking hot, right? So, he got curious. And Richie did stupid shit when he got curious.

With unsteady hands he went to his page, a public one (although, if he dug, he was pretty sure he'd find an old one), and simply clicked on his followers. That was the thing about Instagram, you could search through your followers. Which in retrospect, felt a little creepy.

And conveniently, he had his username. Or well, he wasn't so sure of the last name but he remembers the 'ka'. Or maybe that wasn't his last name-

"Beep, beep, Richie," he muttered to himself, before clicking the bar and typing.

'Eddie'

Naturally, there were a lot of Eddies that followed him. He wasn't exactly unpopular on Instagram, although, he was a lot more popular on Twitch.

Social media kind of went hand-in-hand, Richie learned. If somebody followed you on Twitch, they might want to follow you on Instagram, if they follow you on Instagram, they might want to subscribe to you on Youtube-

Focus, Richie, he cleared his mind and started typing again.

'Eddie Ka'

eddie.bellie || ✨️fairy dust✨️ Bell

eddie.kal || Kalee is here

e.kaspbrak || Eddie Kaspbrak

Richie blinked, That one. I recognize that name. Before he could think about it too much, he clicked through to the profile.

Eddie Kaspbrak (he/him)

I like cars 🚘 and know what I'm talking about so you better fucking listen NY 21

Follow back || Message || +👤

Richie's eyes moved ahead of his judgment, as he spotted a photo of him. Or what he could guess to be, it was kind of small but Richie could see it was a guy.

Before he could overthink it, he pressed the post.

His heart halted in his chest.

What the fuck, his brain chanted, he's beautiful what the fuck-

Eddie (or what he assumed to be Eddie) was grinning, the kind that crinkled at his eyes and shriveled up his nose. Richie wondered if he always smiled like that, or if this was special. His eyes slid across the bridge of his nose, spotting fucking freckles of all things, freckles-

He felt a little like he might spontaneously combust. Maybe in a fiery flame.

He thought I was handsome? Him? Holy shit-

Richie paused, flickering through the comments, and eyes landing on one in particular. Two, actually.

mike.me.up✔️: so good to see you happy man ❤️

benny.boy.official✔️: just remember you deserve everything good !!!

What the fuck? He thought to himself, How old is this post?

Checking the date, he recognized it to be about a year ago. In doing so, though, his eyes caught on the caption and he faltered slightly.

"To all those people who said I couldn't do it," he read, carefully, "-fuck you. Look at me now."

Richie bit at his lip, his finger swiped to the next one on the post. It was him again, carefully holding what looked to be a milkshake; if Richie looked closely enough, he thought he might be at a diner. He wasn't smiling as big this time, but more preoccupied with something else -entranced. Richie felt a little like he was floating then. Had he ever seen someone so beautiful in his entire life?

Speaking of, when had he ever called someone fucking beautiful? God, he was so fucked.

Before he could stop it, he was scrolling through his entire feed. He'd gotten off mostly without a hitch, just until he was looking at the most recent one.

It was Eddie again, but he was working on a car. Smudges of oil slipped across his face (he really looked like he hated it), and in those cute jumpsuits that mechanics wore, Richie felt a little confused about whether it was hot or cute. He was thinking maybe both.

He's not entirely sure how it happened, but he thinks he thought the newest post might be a carousel. (Where there is more than one picture.) Well, it decidedly was not. And when he tried to flick through them, his phone decided to register it as a double tap.

Richie blinked, once and then twice. Pink heart filling his thoughts while the entirety of his brain flatlined.

"Shit," he suddenly chimed, pushing himself off the bed slightly in panic, "-shit, shit, shit. I just have to-"

He clicked the heart again, and the like promptly disappeared. Richie let out a heavy sigh of relief and threw himself back on the bed. Fucking stupid.

It was probably quick enough Eddie wouldn't even notice it. There's nothing to worry about, yeah. (At least that's what he'll tell himself.)

It was, what, 6 am in New York right now? What self-respecting human being would be up at 6 am-

One message request from e.kaspbrak

Shit.

Richie stared at it for a few seconds.

Maybe like he'd blink and it would go away. He could totally be hallucinating, absolutely. Doesn't lack of sleep do that to you? Or maybe he could just be a dick and not look? There's a lot of message requests that he has, half from bots and half from fans (some weirder than others, let's be honest). He could just say he missed it? Maybe? He didn't owe it to Eddie to respond.

Something was crawling up his throat though, that picture running through his mind. And that message. God, he was just a subscriber, why the fuck was he like this? He'd definitely have to tell this to Steve (his therapist)-

Fluidly, Richie went to his messages. He skimmed some new ones in his primary (mostly friends sending him memes or his mods checking in). And then, with a breath, he clicked on requests.

e.kaspbrak

What the fuck

He laughed, mostly because it seemed really in character for what he knew of Eddie. Which, in retrospect, was not much. Enough to apparently make him curious though. Something swirled in him that the man messaging him was the same in the picture -fucking beautiful. Of all ways to describe someone, that's what his brain settled on. God, he really was gay-

Richie debated a few answers for a moment. His mind spiraling, anxiety twisting his stomach so violently that he might throw up. Will probably throw up, actually, he did that a lot when he was nervous-

e.kaspbrak

Aren't you in California?

What are you doing up at 3 am?

Okay, that was not the thing he expected him to comment on first. But, turns out, Eddie was full of surprises.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

what are u doing up at 6 am spaghetti

no one wakes up that early

e.kaspbrak

All types of people get up at 6 am dipshit.

You ever heard of a job?

He laughed again and realized he was really fucked up for thinking someone berating him was funny. But then, he got kind of curious. Eddie knew stuff about him. And he kinda... wanted to know things about Eddie. Pathetically.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

u have a job eds ??? r u a chef?

bc spaghetti, u get it?

e.kaspbrak

Are you seriously sticking to that one? Fucking spaghetti?

You're a dumbass.

And yeah of course I pay to watch your dumbass, don't I?

He pursed his lips a second, did he not want to tell him? Even still, he waited a second, watching the bubble for a moment.

e.kaspbrak

I'm a barista.

I fucking hate it.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

awe eds in a cute lil apron

i used to work customer service it was hell

And then he paused, thinking. Richie carefully added to the message something more genuine like he was testing the waters. Seeing what he could get away with, without seeming like a creep.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

what do u wanna be ?

if u could choose

There was a pause, and suddenly Richie felt incredibly stupid. What the fuck was he doing? Texting someone in chat? Because they called him handsome? Well, he was funny. So, he probably added that to the motivation too.

He had no idea why he was even here, doing this. It just felt... He felt fucking pulled in, and he got curious. But maybe he really was just being stupid-

e.kaspbrak

A mechanic.

And the apron isn't cute, it's nasty as shit after every shift.

His fingers moved before he could stop them. He really was never good at controlling himself, ever.

trashmouth.tozier✔️

who said it was the apron spaghetti ? 😉

Richie stared at the sent message for too long. Maybe hating himself a little bit more, because he was too much. And he couldn't always reel himself back-

e.kaspbrak

You did dipshit. Do you have the memory of a fucking goldfish?

That would actually explain a lot in your streams.

Richie paused -waiting for the other shoe to drop.

e.kaspbrak

And thanks.

You would make a good Eric. Even if you think you wouldn't, fuckwad.

Okay, he thought to himself -maybe grinning a little, not too much. Something unfurling in his chest that felt put away a long fucking time ago. (Maybe a few years, but that was nearly as dramatic enough for Richie Tozier.)

He smiled, maybe a little cheesily bright but that was between him and his apartment walls.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

thanks eds

and i do

it's called adhd

And then he paused.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

and i think you would make a good mechanic

e.kaspbrak

How? You probably don't even know shit about cars.

Do you even remember to change your oil?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

u are supposed to change that ?

Richie watched as the bubble started up, almost immediately. It made him laugh a little.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

just kidding spaghetti

relax

e.kaspbrak

You're such a shithead.

And don't call me that.

trashmouth.tozier✔️

yeah uh no

that's sticking sorry eds

e.kaspbrak

Fuck you dickweed.

And Richie laughed again. Alone, in his apartment, at 3 am. He laughed at a guy in his Instagram DMs.

God, he was so fucked.

e.kaspbrak

It's almost 4 am in California right now.

You need to go to fucking sleep.

Do you know how much not sleeping fucks you up?

It can literally fuck up your brain function and you can't fucking afford that. Yours barely functions as is.

Richie laughed again, and he was kind of thankful nobody lived with him for once. How was he supposed to explain himself? He had no fucking clue.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

awe spaghetti cares about me 🥺

and my brain 🥺

e.kaspbrak

Fuck you.

Go to sleep.

There was a pause, and he thought for a second he might leave it there.

e.kaspbrak

See you at your stream when you wake up.

Something in him softened, and maybe for once he was excited to sleep. His brain felt a little quieter, more manageable.

He wasn't too much for Eddie. At least for now.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

yeah okay eds

see ya then

And if he slept the best he had in awhile that night, that was only for him to know.

They kept texting for about a week, and just like he said, Eddie was a substantial (he should note) part of his next few streams. Today was his break day though, and he would be lying if he wasn't staring at his phone on the charger. Waiting for it to ding.

Which was a little pathetic, but Richie was okay with it somehow.

And then, it dinged.

Richie almost tripped himself to grab his phone off the charger. And he was glad in that moment that no one was there to see it.

e.kaspbrak

I'm working with my least favorite coworker. I wish I was fucking dead.

I hate her more than I hate you, and that's saying something.

Richie laughed a little, and let himself ruminate. Or maybe he just didn't want to look desperate. It was all kind of the same, anyway.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

u want me to come and tell her she makes shit coffee ?

pull my famous card ???

and what did she do ?

e.kaspbrak

You're such a dick.

Richie hoped he was laughing. Sometimes he thought he might be.

e.kaspbrak

She just won't leave me the fuck alone.

If she puts her hands on my arm one more time, I'm going to bite her head off.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

pretty sure that's called workplace harassment eds

u should go to ur manager

And something in Richie made him type more, even though, he really could have left it there. And he probably should have. But he was fucking curious.

Fuck his brain.

trashmouth.tozier✔️

and just call up ur gf

tell her that u need saving

eds the damsel in distress ✨️🧚‍♀️

He gnawed at his lip, fingers dancing along his sheet. He almost threw his phone back onto his chest, or maybe against the wall-

e.kaspbrak

boyfriend*

And I'm single dipshit. Why would I be texting you if I wasn't?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

oh

Richie felt something in his chest flutter. Like a fucking schoolgirl watching her crush play in a football game. If he had a little less dignity (and it wasn't fucking insane in the mornings), he would twirl his hair and kick his feet.

Fucking focus, trashmouth.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

welcome to the club eds

e.kaspbrak

You're single?

Richie pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

yeah ?

have u ever seen a bf on my streams ?

e.kaspbrak

I just thought you had one off camera.

Or something.

He paused a second. That text somehow read as embarrassed or maybe... awkward. Richie wasn't sure how to read it.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

well i don't

e.kaspbrak

Well, me neither.

Richie's heart halted in his chest for a second.

e.kaspbrak

Obviously, because she won't stop bothering me.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

just tell her u do

or tell her ur gay

e.kaspbrak

How is that her business?

And I can't just lie dipshit.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

it's not fair point

and why not ?

e.kaspbrak

She'll ask me questions.

And I'm shit at lying.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

let me do it for u

i did it for 18 years baby it's foolproof

e.kaspbrak

How the fuck are you going to do that?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

just spit out a person for u

i will give u all the details and u can just recite them

no thoughts needed spaghetti

e.kaspbrak

You can just make up a person?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

uh yeah

i used to do skits when i was like 12

by myself

e.kaspbrak

I would pay fucking good money to see some of those.

But okay. Give me your weird fake person.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

jamie porter

in tech school for IT shit

only child

really introverted bc constantly studying

likes jazz and the color blue

u go on classical concert dates sometimes

e.kaspbrak

What the fuck

That's not my type at all.

He honestly debated asking exactly what that was but he held back. Because, technically, Eddie knew his type. Which was exactly him. That... shit, he never thought about that.

He cleared his throat.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

why would it be ?

he's not real eds

it's just for a lie

e.kaspbrak

Can I just tell you my type fuckface?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

why

e.kaspbrak

Because I want to dipshit.

And I already know yours, it's only fair.

Richie felt a little stupid. And a little confused.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

okay spaghetti whatever u say

e.kaspbrak

Tall idiots. Very tall, and very fucking stupid.

[cadriona]

have some brainrot inspired by the anniversary genshin video where aether and lumine gets yeeted in a martial arts tournament (and of course this is beiguang)

not an actual fic, just mostly jointed thoughts that... end up somewhat coherent

beidou and ningguang knew each other way back, except beidou was a general and ning was the secretary of state? (archons are the emporers/empresses ig) and they were friendly with each other. Some might say more than friendly. But beidou also spends a lot of time in the army.

Then once beidou had refused to follow the imperial orders because the results would've been the loss of innocent lives, she returns to the capital, and for her disobediance promptly gets exiled (would've been execution if ning hadn't found out and pulled all the strings she could)

Then, they started holding martial arts tournaments. The winner could have a wish, or a request of the capital and the capital would fulfill it in any way they can, except a list of people are banned from participating (beidou among them).

Solution?

beidou decided to train someone up.

even exiled, she still has her connections within the capital, and ning subtly pushes baizhu and qiqi her way (ning worries for her pirate, ok?) and gradually people gather around the charismatic former general.

one day, she happens upon lumine, a kid fending off a wolf while trying to get through a forest idk, she has a soft heart so she picks lumine up and takes her home.

kazuha: wtf? baizhu and qiqi: now you know how it felt when she first brought you in? kazuha:... i mean-

ANYHOW. Fast forwards, and beidou just- continues to gather more people, and somehow they are now a rogue merc band that skitters on the outskirts of the country doing jobs and whatnot, all the while training lumine.

years later, and lumine is ready. xinyan wanted to be more of a musician and kazuha also ended up on the banned list due to some accidents a while back, and they go to the capital. As the group with the particpant, beidou has temp immunity.

tournament commences, and beidou finally sees ning again from afar. (she's still beautiful, still glorious, and in her eyes were steel.)

ningguang sees beidou, red eyes meeting another and an eyepatch (beidou was still stubborn, still boistrous and loving, and she was back.)

They can't meet- not when the entire country was watching everything happening in the capital.

Then- lumine fights aether.

beidou knew what would've happened as soon as she saw lumine's opponent- they looked too similar otherwise. She knew that lumine would cede the win, and beidou knew that she wouldn't fault the golden-haired teen for it. lumine lost, and in that glorious moment when ning left for backstage and the emporer's made their way down, beidou vanished into the crowd.

the interior of the palace hadn't changed much, and they met each other easily. small pleasantries, desperate touches, a parting once again too soon.

the next day came with a surprise. Aether had ceded his prize to lumine, who then used the chance to give beidou back her position. of course, it didn't come without benefits for the rest of the crew- as the actual wish was more along the lines of "legalize and grant noble status to everyone of the crux."

(baizhu and qiqi return to bubu pharmacy and promptly start renovating, the poor souls.)

and beidou- beidou returns to being a general again? except she refused the position when offered, the emperor's leniancy was but a fickle thing. The crux crew were now legalized, and beidou is now a citizen again, but she remained the head of the independent crux force, one that works, ahem, closely with the Secretary of state on matters of import.

(sometimes their meetings could last days behind closed doors.)

[euphoricfilter]

hypothetically speaking if bts were crustaceans (btc - bullet troof crustaceans) who would be what because i can definitely see namjoon as a crab (classic crab crove) and jin as maybe a lobster (i am not implying anything bad ik lobsters are cold and distant lovers)

i can also see all of them being hermit crabs just trading their shells like how they rehouse shells irl in the ocean or something idk where they live

also shrimps they could totally be shrimps shrimptan sonyeondan

CLAMS!?

this is a very important question!!

(this got kinda long so i’ll add the read more 🥲)

crabs is definitely a classic. i could see them as ghost crabs, just because i like the lil antenna lookin eyes they have. actually i think, hobi gives off floral egg crab, with the cool designs on his shell??

even vampire crabs are cool, and i think live mostly on land— so i could see them all living under rocks or under little huts on the beach together, bathing in little rock pools together??? i also know they’re good as an introduction to crabs as pets so they seem to be pretty chilled out and comfortable with life 🕺

if we’re talking individually, namjoon is definitely a red crab, and yeah it’s inspired by those migrating red crab videos. and yeah namjoon would be the lone crab trailing behind the group, enamored by the world around him as they migrate

i could see jin as a lobster!! maybe a spiny lobster, just because they’re a little more flamboyant looking than regular lobsters!! they also don’t have the scary little snappers, so they look a little more gentle!! i also think they’re huge, so that could be the human equivalent of wide shoulders LMAO

i think jimin would maybe be a tadpole shrimp?? their tails freak me out a bit because i think when i first saw them i thought they were just little blobs, but they’re small and not really that scary at all. jimin would also be the kind of crustacean to like fresh water instead of salt water!!

since vmin are besties, then tae would have to be a fresh water crustacean too, so he’d be a common yabby. i like the blue yabbies, but the more brown ones also kinda remind me of the suits tae likes to wear so they fit him quite well!! and then!! him and mimi can still live in the same water together!! two little crustacean babies just living good lives

jungkook is a fairy shrimp, i think it’s the eyes??? also inspired by the nickname baby star candy, i could totally see jungkook as a lil fairy shrimp!! they also swim upside down which i could see as something jungkook would do!!

yoongi was a little hard to choose for but i think maybe the louisiana crayfish fits him the most?? just because they’re highly adaptable to their environment, and can live in varying environments which seems like a very yoongi thing to be able to do

hobi is a remipedia just because it looks like their legs are waves when they swim, and hobi (probably has adhd) but you know he moves a lot, i could see that as his aquatic form of dancing 🕺

they’d all be so cute as hermit crabs!!! i was just about to look at what kind of environment they lived in but!! i just found out that hermit crabs are part of natures clean up and recycling service!! which is super cool!!

some hermit crabs also have super cool shells, and really pretty ones too, so i could definitely see them swapping!!

shrimptan sonyeondan 💪💪 they’d all be tiger shrimp in this universe, and i can’t explain why.

CLAMS!!!!

not crustaceans, but still sea creatures.

shark tan!!!!!! i think it’s common knowledge that jungkook is a thresher shark, there is no arguing about that. with the eyes??? their little mouthes and just ah, i love thresher sharks. (they’re definitely my favorite)

also whale sharks are super cool!! they’re my second favorite shark, so maybe they could be whale sharks.

but!! lemon sharks are the ones that swim in groups so maybe they’ll have to be lil lemon sharks??? or, the maknae line could be sucker fish, because they cling onto lemon sharks to eat all the parasites and keep them clean??

but also! jellyfish are super cool?? and sea bunnies. imagine them all as little sea bunnies ☹️

[mariacallous]

“Light weights.” That was the reply when Diplo posted a video of himself, Chris Rock, and several others escaping this year’s Burning Man after heavy rains left thousands of other Burners stranded and unable to leave. It was a small thing, but also encapsulated a growing divide between long-term attendees and those who show up expecting a weeklong Coachella in the Nevada desert.

“Old-timers like myself tend to relish in the chaos,” says Eddie Codel, the San Francisco–based videographer who called Diplo and Rock lightweights on X, the social network formerly known as Twitter. “It allows us to lean into the principle of radical self-reliance a bit more.” Codel is on his 15th burn, he’s been coming since 1997, and Diplo wasn’t the only escaping Burner he called out. When someone else posted a video of RVs stuck in waterlogged sand, he posted, “They were warned.”

’Twas ever thus. Burning Man may have started as a gathering of San Francisco counterculture types, but in recent years it has morphed into a confab of tech bros, celebs, and influencers—many of whom fly in and spend the event’s crushingly hot days in RVs or air-conditioned tents, powered by generators. The Playa, as it’s known, is still orchestrated by the Burning Man Organization, otherwise known as “the Org,” and its core principles—gifting, self-reliance, decommodification (no commercial sponsorships)—remain in place.

But increasingly the Burning Man tenet of “leave no trace” has found itself butting heads with growing piles of debris scattered in the desert following the bacchanal, which can draw more than 70,000 people every year. It’s an ideological minefield, one laid atop a 4-square-mile half-circle of tents and Dune-inspired art installations where everyone has a carbon footprint that’s two-thirds of a ton.

A lot of this came to a head before rain turned Black Rock Desert into a freshly spun clay bowl. Last week, as festivalgoers were driving into Black Rock City, activists from groups like Rave Revolution, Extinction Rebellion, and Scientist Rebellion tried to halt their entry, demanding that the event cease allowing private jets, single-use plastics, and unlimited generator and propane use. They were met by attendees who said they could “go fuck themselves,” and ultimately the protest was shut down by the Pyramid Lake Paiute tribal police. (The route to the event passes through Pyramid Lake Paiute Reservation.)

Last Sunday, as news began to spread about the Burners trapped by the rain, reactions grew more pointed. In one popular TikTok, since deleted, Alex Pearlman, who posts using the handle @pearlmania500, lambasted Burners for contributing to climate change while “building a temporary city in the middle of nowhere while we’re in the middle of an unhoused fucking homeless problem.” Reached by email, Pearlman said that TikTok took down the video, claiming it was mass reported for content violations. The creator challenged that, and it got reinstated—then it was removed again. “My reaction was, ‘I guess the community guideline enforcement manager hitched a ride with Diplo and Chris Rock out of Burning Man,’” Pearlman says.

This sort of thing—a rant, about tech industry types at Burning Man, posted on a social media site, then shared on other social media sites—is essentially the rub, the irony of Burning Man in 2023. For years, the event was, and is, the playground of tech utopian types, the place where they got to unplug and get enlightened. Larry Page and Sergey Brin chose Eric Schmidt as Google’s CEO in part because of his Burner cred. But as mobile data on the Playa has gotten better—in 2016, new cell towers connected the desert like never before—more real-time information has come out of Burning Man as it’s happening, for better or worse.

This year, that led to more than a little misinformation, says Matthew Reyes, who has, since 2013, volunteered to run Burning Man’s official live webcast. He didn’t go to the event this year but has been helping from his home near Dayton, Ohio. He says he’s had to file several Digital Millennium Copyright Act takedown notices to try to get fake Burning Man streams removed. It’s part of a larger trend of misinformation coming out of the festival, like the debunked rumor that there was an Ebola outbreak at the festival this year—one spread by blue-check X users. The tools so often used by attendees to share their adventures are now also the tools making the event look like a quagmire.

“All of social media, it’s all about money, about serving custom ads or whatever the monetization scheme is,” Reyes says, adding that he believes internet discourse has hyped up what happened at this year’s event and that oftentimes things that are jokes on the Playa may get misunderstood on platforms. Reyes argues that many media outlets are further distorting the view of what’s happening on the Playa by reporting on what they see rise to the top of those very same social media platforms.

For Reyes, what happened at this year’s Burning Man is actually proof that, for the most part, the festival’s tenets worked. People shared resources; they got out. And, as Codel put it, he had “the time of [his] life.” Climate change, and Burning Man’s potential impacts on it, are part of a crisis happening worldwide—though, as University of Pennsylvania environmental science professor Michael Mann told WIRED this week, “what took place at Burning Man speaks profoundly to the message of the climate protesters who were shouted down by Burning Man only days earlier.” (Burning Man aims to be carbon-negative by 2030, but some speculate the event won’t hit that target.)

But even if the tenets of Burning Man worked, that doesn’t mean they were always followed—like, say, that decommodification one. Over the Labor Day weekend, when Burning Man attendees were stuck in the muck and unsure when they’d get out, a TikTokker posting on the handle @burningmanfashion told followers that her crew was safe and they had “enough tuna for a week.” The camp’s structures had fallen down, but they’d be OK. “The news is saying it’s pretty bad out here—it is,” she said. “Thank goodness we have a ModVan, so we’re safe inside of that. Sorry about the plug, I know we’re not supposed to talk about commercial things.”

[lilly-from-the-valley]

9:08 Oct 2022, 2.08 AM

Ran out of pen and my pencil’s a no-go, so, am writing it here.

Today marks the day former INTJ (yes, shocking) discovered that he’s actually mistyped. The guess would be very easy, but still surprised me because I never thought of it before due to how reserved he appear ((I need to stop seeing based on 16p letters which says I = introvert and E = extrovert, when we as normal people can always be inclined to one or the other depending on our situations))

Funnily, I burst into tears when he was actually serious about it. Blaming my PMS for that… also, ended up having an identity crisis and looked up online for some articles regarding his newly-discovered type. It’s childish, but I couldn’t help wondering. I did some research and articles on how can ENTJ and INFP relationship would work.

“We worked, though???” -ENTJ

We laughed it off and he suggested me to make a comic about it—a good idea, hopefully I won’t be lazy.

Previously, I did realize how he’s not obsessively Ni, if you know what I mean… He uses Ni when he needs to, when it’s helpful for him, but naturally, he’ll use Te and enjoys expressing his thoughts on what would be the best and useful for others. The issue was with us always believing him as an introvert. “Letting go of that belief was liberating.”

A few hours before 12, I got ready for us to go out and look for food and some clothes. It was different than the other days, because I chose a pretty hanbok-inspired midi dress which I bought online and ironed it. Also, did a douyin makeup look, with the intention of practicing my skills for aegyosal.

We vlogged as we reach Haru Coffee—our favorite place to get Shin Ramyun. Shin Ramyun was cheaper if bought one whole pack, but making it ourselves won’t be as delicious as how Haru’s turn out. We talked more about what convinced him to be an ENTJ and I slowly come to understand his reasonings. I needed time to accept because being with him for more than a year, really sold me the idea he’s an INTJ.

We left the place and took some photos of Haru entrance. Oh, did I mention how the cafe had expanded? From being a small corner cafe, it became an actual cafe with more space, and of course, even more korean aesthetic.

We went to our comfort mall to look for his outfit. We found a 3-piece, but the price tag had no display of how much it cost. One of the blazers show their pricing at 300+ and that made us leave the store because obviously… that’s a lot of money for one blazer. Or maybe we’re just part of minimum-wage group.

We went to Dees. Or we call it Deez (not saying it, you know it). We found one shirt, and the price was okay, but the problem was we needed a 3-piece. There were no signs of the blazers matching the shirt, so we had to find another shop.

Oh, I forgot to mention, I bought an iced coffee out of impulse. Part of me regretted it because the taste of the Iced Mocha Expresso wasn’t the same as I recalled. Also, he refused to drink it because he’s cutting off ice from his diet, for his throat. That made me a little sad, because we’d always share our cold drinks, but more for me, I guess. *slurps the thick bittersweet coffee*

We bought car wipers from a hardware store and I got myself a cheap pink earphones. He watched a video on how-to and tried putting it on his parents’ car but to no avail. Decided to ask his father, he’s an ISTP and was into cars anyway.

We went to a mall next-door, which wasn’t my favorite, because of it’s fame leading to it being packed with people on weekends. We looked for the clothes again but still couldn’t find it. So we visited the prayer room. I left my phone in the car, so he lent his. After my prayer was done, I went to the toilet for my own business and once I got out of the stall, I was met by an old woman with a grey scarf. She asked me wether it was my phone that dropped. I confidently said no, even if she asked me if I’m really sure the second time.

While walking to a restaurant, I noticed how his phone wasn’t with me. I panicked and went to the toilet from earlier to find the old lady. My heartbeat was crazy, because that wasn’t my belonging, it was his and he’ll be doomed if it gets stolen.

I went into the prayer room again and saw his phone lying in front of 2 girls. I asked them first before taking that phone, just to make sure they are actually ok with it. I clicked the lock screen button and saw his wallpaper of Beastboy and Raven. Definitely his.

Relieved, I gave it back him and he said he needed to be careful when trusting me with his phone—can’t agree more. We went to have a traditional family dinner, but I felt my period was coming so I rushed to the toilet. Though, no signs of blood. Fooled again, some of PMS signs can be frustrating, but I’m used to it.

Before continuing our earlier search, we visited a bookstore. He wanted to start collecting books and have his personal library. I let him go to motivational section while I stayed in chick-lit, fiction, and all that dreamy stuff. I stumbled upon The Diary of a Girl by Anne Frank, which piqued my interest for some reason. I saw before people saying she’s INFP, but I couldn’t be so sure.

I read some of the parts and it sold me. I was quite immersed, it really was someone’s diary. Coincidentally… her birthday was same as mine. ((sounds corny, but that fact sold me as well)) You could say that I was officially emotionally attached to it that I know I needed to get it. Considered buying online as it’s always way cheaper than off a store.

I was about to go and talk with ENTJ but he was talking to someone, which I assumed a new friend. I didn’t want to disturb them so I stood at the corner and read more pages of Anne’s diary (that sounded odd and intrusive, but it’s true!) It dragged for quite some time, but I really didn’t want to bother when he’s taking that chance of making a new friend to share about books with.

After awhile, he came to me and showed me the book—12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson. Of course.

I asked him about his potential new friend, but he said nah, because it turned out that guy was a business-man. ENTJ actually believed he could make a new friend to share interests with, but too bad.

Then, went to an ok price retail store, but we were distracted by other cool clothes instead of what we should actually buy.

He tried out some of the clothes, and we found the perfect black sweater and blue jeans for him. We didn’t get what we came for, but at least we found some really cool clothes.

Another incident happened, we were about to go home but I needed to clear my bladder ((thanks to that coffee)). After completing my personal task, I went to ENTJ, and stopped in my tracks when he mentioned where was my bag. I scurried back to the toilet while praying to God he’d still help me. The pink handbag was still there, truly a miracle which God had blessed.

ENTJ just laughed seeing me with my unlucky handbag. “I’ll be your reminder next time, for sure.”

We went home, while summarizing our whole day. Today was planned and unplanned. We had our goals but there was no escaping the chaos, other than adapting. I’m still thankful to God…

[prometheankat]

The Girls is Not That Good - review

video version here: https://youtu.be/0xCFmudBbos

I recently found out via email newsletter that Emma Cline has a new book out. I’ve been told that reviews for her second book, The Guest, have been overwhelmingly positive, although I must admit that I have not read any of these reviews or the actual book itself. I have, however, read her debut novel, The Girls, and this new release reminded me that I never actually published a review for it and now I’m going to make it everyone’s problem. So, in this essay I’ll be covering the book and my thoughts on it, most of which aren’t that positive. There will be spoilers and I’ll be covering sensitive subjects related to cults and murder, so view at your own discretion. 

To start us off, The Girls was originally published in 2016 by Random House and is Emma Cline’s first published novel. Loosely inspired by the infamous Manson family murders, its plot follows 14-year-old Evie Boyd as she is caught up in a group of spellbinding girls and the man/cult leader they all follow, Russell. The book was the winner of the Shirley Jackson Award for Best Novel 2016 and was a Goodreads Choice Award Nominee for Best Fiction 2016. Sounds like a pretty good book, right? Many other readers and reviewers would agree with you, like the Washington Post and NPR. I, however, would not, as you have probably already guessed from the title of this review. I have a few different problems with this novel, the first of which is the fact that the author managed to make something as fascinatingly macabre and intriguing as boring as my high school finance class. 

The real life story behind Charles Manson and the so-called Tate Murders is almost horrifically interesting. I read Helter Skelter by Vincent Bugliosi, a true crime novel about the case written by the actual prosecutor for the trial, right before I read The Girls, which is part of the reason The Girls felt so flat to me. Helter Skelter is a gripping, horrifying beast of a book. It sucks you in and refuses to let you go until you’ve learned every gritty, gory detail. Bugliosi’s intimate knowledge of the case makes him the perfect storyteller, as he leads you through every small clue and motive that build the case against Charles Manson and his oh-so-devoted followers. There’s so much to the story that has already been said both by Bugliosi and other creators in the past fifty years that a retelling like The Girls has to find something new and exciting to shed line on, a whole new avenue to explore. This book just doesn’t do that. Cline doesn’t really have anything new to say. 

Our main character, Evie, is a perpetual outsider. In this way, she acts like an audience-insert, allowing us a peek into the dark world that she’s stumbled upon. And there’s nothing wrong with this premise besides the fact that Evie doesn’t really do anything. Whether it’s because the author didn’t want to offend any of the real life people involved in the Manson family by basing a character on them or because she didn’t want to implicate her character in their crimes, therefore absolving her of guilt, this decision forces Evie to lurk outside of her own narrative. She isn’t allowed to do anything new, so the book never delves into uncharted territory. The story would have happened the exact same even if Evie had never existed at all, which is not a good thing for people to say about your main character. And because of this, the book really lacks a solid purpose. It fails to explore anything at all. 

The same is true for the plot, which is largely a gross simplification of real life events with a few spatterings of original writing that serve as our look into the future. Obviously, no retelling that is “inspired by” true events will line up perfectly with reality, but rather than taking an interesting concept and adding something new or turning it on its head, this book makes it boring and pedestrian. In the real world, Manson’s motives are a complex and confusing amalgamation of race wars, prejudice, post apocalyptic futures, dune buggies, Beatles lyrics, and miscellaneous Biblical influences. They’re a mess and they barely make sense, but that’s what makes it interesting. The search for a motive in the mountains of evidence is one of the most important parts of the prosecution case explained in Helter Skelter. In contrast, our Manson stand-in featured in The Girls wants to kill people because Mitch, our resident Beach Boy stand-in, couldn’t get him a record deal. Which is mind numbingly boring, especially when the other option is a madman’s belief that he is Jesus and killing any random influential person will start a war where him and his family will be the only survivors, all because they hunkered down in the desert on dune buggies. Like, it’s pure insanity, but it’s interesting to read about. The motives are the most glaring example I can provide, but The Girls simplifies pretty much every true event it draws inspiration from. And in that aspect, the plot really falls flat. 

The other parts of this book are comprised of Cline’s original ideas, particularly inventions about Evie’s family, friends, and future. Some of these portions take place in the future, following Evie as an aimless middle-aged woman currently house-sitting for a friend. When said friend’s teenage son and his girlfriend show up, we get some good interactions between Evie and the girlfriend, Sasha. I actually really enjoyed these sections, especially seeing how Evie saw herself in Sasha and tried to help her despite Sasha’s own wishes. All of the original writing wasn’t bad. The only time it fell flat was when it ventured back to the main plot, which was most of the book. 

And that’s what’s really the most disappointing thing about this book. There’s just so much wasted potential. This could have been interesting. This could have been amazing. I could have really enjoyed this. I actually really enjoy the idea behind it, which is why I picked up this book in the first place. Showing a girl’s perspective of these events, showing how someone vulnerable could get drawn into a cult would be an interesting area to explore. Especially when combined with how women were treated during the time period contrasted with how they were the actual ones doing the murdering, there’s a lot of interesting concepts in the idea alone. This could have been a much deeper, twisted exploration of some really cool ideas, if only the author wasn’t scared to commit to the actual cult material. Most of the story is built around it, but we never really explore it. It’s just another thing that happens because the plot demands so. Why write a book about a cult if you aren’t going to really go for it? Why do it at all? This book could have been so much better if Cline did commit to it. Or, alternatively, I think she could have written a really great novel if she just used her own original ideas. Her writing in the future sections was really good and I’m sure that a story where she isn’t bound to a historical inspiration could be really good. Either of those options would have been better than the book she actually wrote. 

Maybe I will read The Guest. Maybe it will be better than The Girls. But when it comes to The Girls, if you’re looking for a story about cults and murder in the sixties, just read Helter Skelter. Or if you don’t want to do that, you can just skim the Wikipedia page for Charles Manson. Either option would be more interesting. Because oftentimes, reality is much, much stranger than fiction. 

[bobbybutterfly]

@psychedelic-charm this one’s for you!

For the last couple of days I didn’t know what to draw. So it was nice to get your response.

Like I’ve mentioned in the last post I finally gave Cancer a nation. He’s Plains Cree. I think I specifically chose Plains Cree because some live in Montana. I imagine the story of the Zodiacs takes place in a fictional small American town. I don’t plan on making any comic or stories with these guys but if I would it would be a normal teen soap opera, except everyone has superpowers. Maybe I would keep the antagonists…

It is a bit unrealistic that such a diverse group lives in a small far off town. But then again. They have literal superpowers. So I don’t think that’s the biggest issue when it comes to realism LOL. Like for example Cancer here is a shape shifter. In the Li Speaks video she mentioned it would be ideal to change the talking to animals superpower. I thought it would be good to take inspiration from the Cree mythology. And shapeshifting is something I saw a lot.

I ended up taking inspiration for Cancer’s backstory from the story of Aayaase. It has a very dream like feel to it.

CW: drug abuse, domestic abuse

Cancer grew up in an abusive low income household. His biological father ran off. His mother and stepfather were both opioid addicts. His stepfather also drank a lot and took out his anger on Cancer’s mom. Cancer was very protective over her. Crying so much that several times police was called over. His stepfather decided he had enough of 10 year old Cancer one day. He sat him in the pickup truck and went into the middle of nowhere. Where he kicked out the small kid and drove off.

Cancer was stuck in an endless forest all alone. It was getting dark. He started crying. A fox heard him and curled up next to him to keep him warm. He wished to be a fox himself. And in the morning, he found his wish turned true. He liked wondering through the forest. Playing in the fallen leaves and chewing on sticks. A few days passed before he met with the fox again. She led him out of the forest to his grandma’s house. He was about to turn around and go back when his grandma grabbed him:

“I’ve made pancakes. But I’m only serving to humans.”

Almost at the snap of a finger he turned back into a boy. His grandma ruffled his hair as he gobbled up 3 pancakes at once, “I think I’ll keep you from now on. It’s nice to have someone appreciate your cooking.”

Since then it’s been 7 years. His grandma isn’t rich. Living in a mobile home for which she has to pay the landlord almost all her pension. But what she lacks in money, she more than makes up in love for her grandson. Cancer isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. He has several learning disabilities and PTSD. He goes to therapy and has an assistant at school. Aries feels very protective over him. Treating Cancer as his little brother. Even though Cancer’s only 3 months younger and almost 2 heads taller than him.

However when Cancer likes something he puts all his energy into it. He works part time at an animal rescue shelter. He even rescued that frog from the science class (I liked that small detail from the original Cancer bio). He takes him everywhere in his pocket. The way his shapeshifting ability works is that he has to touch the animal and want to transform. This includes turning into a human. He does keep his clothes! I dunno. They’re counted as fur. He keeps his frog with him so if he’s scared he can turn and hop away.

Other than that he spends most of his day on World of Warcraft 3 and RuneScape. When Aries comes over, which he does a lot, they watch South Park and smoke weed from a plastic bottle. Cancer’s grandma doesn’t understand video games, always covers her ears when South Park is on and sometimes takes a puff of the weed before stealing their whole stash and selling it. She forces the boys to learn things like how to do beading and make moccasins. At first they complained a lot, but now they genuinely like it.

She’s even teaching them the language. Even though Aries isn’t Cree she does consider him a part of the family. He also learns faster than Cancer and then helps him out. They’re just a cute little bunch.

Lastly Cancer makes music. He doesn’t have any instruments. Instead he turns into animals and records himself. To most people it sounds like a bunch of noise (that’s why he’s hesitant to show it off) but those that get it, really get it.

And there we have it. Another Zodiac redesign. That’s all the girls that didn’t age well. Though I do have ideas for what I could do with the other girls. I even did a couple of room designs. So keep your eyes peeled for that!

[harutostablet]

Three men and a baby or Haru gets an imp

Haruto knew this would happen. With the official announcement of Ayame-kun's marriage (pregnancy) and that Mako-chan, the bass guitarist, was the groom (father). The idol would be busier than he had ever been and not because of music. As the face of the band Haru would be sent around doing PR events sometimes with another band member, but mostly by himself. The baby was a surprise to his band mates as well and the guys were working it out. No one was talking let alone rehearsing music. Since Haruto didn't live with the guys on the mainland full time it was easy for Haruto to miss the longing glances and secret codes the two had during this relationship. Daisuke and ChanMatsu, Haruto didn't know how they missed it? They were still in a relationship right? Not that Haruto talked to the guys about their love life. They didn't ask about why Tsukiya left. It was a mixed blessing. Though that wasn't much of a mystery. He was sure the tengu was taken for dealing with a human. For fooling with him.

It was an unspoken rule to leave that kind of stuff outside of the band. But, that same rule was what was potentially about to break up the band.

The Dandies were the good guys. The kind of guys you take home to your parents, not the extra bad boy types like his father or Manami. Those guys could afford an unapproved relationship. For the success of the band Haru would be a fun distraction. Posting videos with his brother. Live events with Haruto being "getting inspired and taking viewer requests on Instagram" at just the time people would have their phones before bed, etc. If they could hold it together long enough the Dandies were set to perform at the 30th Anniversary of the founding of the talent agency Uncle Kenji and his dad founded. And if there was one thing that one did not do was mess with Uncle Kenji's detailed plans.

When his uncle suggested they go to Kyoto for tea he was surprised it was a true ochaya. He'd been once before with his dad but that was years ago. Uncle Kenji and his agent were having a good time agreeing with each other about something with the agency while Haru sipped sake and looked at his phone. Ayame-kun set his calendar on his phone before she went on leave. One of many things she did for him before stepping down from her position. They had a small party for her at the office on her last day. There was so much he didn't know about his former assistant. She used to be apart of a girl group that didn't really take off but when you work for his uncle you always had a home. So she stepped out of the lime light, went to college and that was how Sayaka-san became Ayame-kun and then Haruto's assistant. IN the back of his mind he wondered why she never shared that part of her life with him? Would it have mattered? Would it have brought them closer?

Seeing his life in black and white made him feel old. As if the days were longer simply because he could see what little free time he had anymore. Especially if you factored in 'free time' was filled with his school duties and studying. Time was a blur anymore. He rubbed his temple with the heel of his hand. There was a light tap on the door and one of the maiko went to open it slowly. In the doorway stood a new guest.

"Ah, you've finally arrived," said Uncle Kenji.

Alcides allowed for the maiko to escort him before stepping into the room with a deep bow. His body shimmered and over his right hand balanced a strange ball of smoke. The smoke had a scent but it was very faint and soft, like warm unscented linen. Hearing the uncle, the imp almost seemed taken back by 'finally.' He was perfectly on time when he was asked to arrive. He did not argue though. Bowing once more he says politely. "Thank you for having me." His accent is deep in his pronunciations of Japanese words. If one could guess, it was Irish. Turning to the table. "Pardon my interruption, I am Alcides, of Tohoku district, Ecclesia keep." Haru might recognize Ecclesia as being the exchange house for imps in Japan. Alcides offers a pleasant smile as he stands formally. "I hope I can be of good service to you."

Haruto choked on his sake, seeing the imp and coughed even more when he explained where he was from. His manager reached over to pat him on the back, but Haru shook him off. He bowed his head as he tried to remember how to breathe. Not taking his eyes off the enchanting imp he whispered to his uncle. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Well, you need an assistant, and I found you one," Uncle Kenji said. He offered his cup to be refilled by a geisha and took a sip. "You can't expect a pregnant Ayame-kun to work you? I didn't think you would complain… considering…." The older man noticed how focused his nephew was with his newest decision. Haruto really was like Akita. Their passion came through their music. Kenji might not have liked dividing the idol's time with the University but it also got him two hit records.

Also like Akita, if their passions were allowed to run wild, they forget that this cut throat industry needed their fill of passion yesterday. That is where Kenji stepped in as manager. Forest fires are tragic but a controlled blaze helped everyone. He doesn't have to set the fire. As long as Kenji laid the kindling the musicians' passion would start the blaze.

Alcides sat rather formally. Almost too much so. Though not incorrectly, the imp was checking himself and stiff, as though rehearsing his movements. Absolutely like a foreigner becoming accustomed to Japan. He looked around the table before his eyes lay on Haru and he bows his head again. Offering a smile once more.

"You must be Ono-san. I sincerely hope you find me useful. I was told your former familiar was a tourmaline house imp. Perhaps mine will be a better fit." He says with positivity in his voice. His tail curled behind him.

Haruto just looked at the imp. "My… other…. Oh Ely!" he covered his mouth then looked at his uncle again and back at the imp seeing how uncomfortable he was. "I think there has been a mistake…" his gaze looked down. "I am. You don't have to do this… like whatever they told you or whatever…." um.. um.. " he didn't know the other's name. "What is your name?"

Alcides looked more and more confused as Haru spoke. He didn't know Ely at all, just that Haru had an imp before and 'it didn't work out.' Even more so, he was baffled by Haru's confusion.

"Uh. Excuse me. I will repeat." Bowing his head. "I am Alcides… but if that name is too difficult, you could call me Ali or another name you find more suitable." He offers.The little smoke ball swaying around slowly as his decorated nails seem to twist and direct it. Even so- he never lost his focus on Haru. Haruto sat up straight in his seat and bowed properly.

"I'm sorry. Alcides…Haru or Haruto is okay…." he said then paused trying to figure out how to get out of this.

Ueno, Haruto's manager, whispered "Maa maaa, what is all of this ?"and poured a cup of sake for Alcides. "This is a time to celebrate, right?" This was why Ueno trusted the boss's plays. Ueno didn't understand at first. Wasn't it an imp that caused this mess in the first place? But, if they find an imp that worked for the company then all of the singer's focus, hormones, drama would be managed in house. No more headaches worrying about how long it will take before someone gets a photo of Haruto blowing some guy, who glows in the dark, at night, in a back alley.

"Welcome to the team Alicides" Uncle Kenji said, raising his cup. "We're happy to have you." Haru's manager bowed and on auto pilot Haru also bowed. Haru caught himself looking at the two men who handled his life. He had to keep forcing himself to look away from the beautiful imp. Fuck.

"Uncle, why couldn't you just ask someone from an agency or something….." he bit his bottom lip. "I'm sorry Alcides, you don't have to do this, I don't know what you were told or whatever but I don't own people, '' Haruto rambled. Turns out that just because you have no time to yourself, if you don't spend a few extra minutes in the shower every morning that you start biting people's heads off. "That's weird."

The other two men watched the melt down like clockwork. It was only recently that Haru started acting like himself again. Kenji was sure it had to do with that well mannered prince disappearing.

"… and like….like… you should be able to choose what you want to do…" Haru tried imploring the imp.

Alcides just found himself still confused. Patiently listening between the three. His eyes on Haru. "Master Haruto. Forgive me for being… blunt, but there seems to be a misunderstanding. When asked if I wanted to serve you, it was because it is something I want to do." He answers honestly. Keeping that soft smile.

"I'm- not sure what your experience is with keeping familiars in the past… but to put your mind at ease, please understand. Just as you are human choosing to be an idol, I am an imp choosing to be a familiar." He seemed keen to the stereotypes and concerns associated with his kind. "If it makes you more comfortable to know, this is still an appraisal period. Should you dislike me, or I find myself incapable to serve you, then our contract need not be established." he looked off a moment. "Though I do hope you will at least consider." He didn't touch the sake in front of him.

Haruto blushed as the other talked, he balled his hands into fists and rubbed the front of his slacks in thought.

"Do you hear that Haruto? You would treat him just as you would treat any assistant," Uncle Kenji explained calmly as if trying to calm the hamster that ran in Haru's brain. His manager filled Haru's cup before setting the bottle down. Both manager and uncle were waiting to see what the idol would say.

"The agreements are already signed. "Kenji let him know that there was no talking around this.

"And this one can't get pregnant." Ueno said before taking a sip of his own cup.

"Why would you say that?" he felt embarrassed and took a deep breath trying to calm his nerves. It seemed he had no choice.

"This is a trial period right? So like if you don't like working for me, or whatever, you'll go where you want to go, right?" Haruto asked mesmerized by how beautiful the imp was, only making him more sure that this was a mistake.

Alcides listened once more and honestly felt a bit awkward by the conversation. This meeting was unlike any he'd had before but he still kept himself formal and polite. Looking back to Haruto he nods.

"If I find that I am unsuitable- uh- that I can not provide for you with all of my will, then I will return to Ecclesia and perhaps another imp will be offered to you." Though he did pause, and look off again, his cheeks seem to blush in a bright green against his otherwise violet skin. "Your uncle is correct. I cannot become pregnant… will this be an issue for you?" He asks Haru. Haruto was red faced.

"Well, I think we should let these two get acquainted. " Uncle Kenji rose to his feet followed by haru's manager Ueno. The geisha and maiko also rose to go with them.

"Be nice," he said softly to Haruto as the two left the room leaving him alone with the imp.

"I'm sorry about all of this…" Haru whispered looking at his lap. "Um, what kind of imp are you or whatever…?"

Alcides bows his head to the ones leaving the room. A combination of over bowing and simply 'understanding' his place would be below everyone else in the room, including the maiko. Looking back to Haru, his nails still twisting the smoke around the strange orb.

"I am smoky chrysocolla quartz coated after azurite imp… or celestial imp for short." He answers fully. Looking over Haruto to see if the man understood any of that. He didn't but nodded along anyway.

"Hm.. put simply as a smoky chrysocolla in quartz- I and my breed are known for record keeping. Being born through azurite is how I appear to have sparkles coming off my body. Thus the celestial imp nickname." He smiles a bit more. "I am told you quite like things that sparkle, though I hope that my appearance isn't too strange." Still keeping a positive tone.

Haruto shook his head. "You look really cool…" he said before thinking. "Um, what did my uncle tell you you were here for, or whatever?" he wanted to ask about the smoke, but baby steps.

Alcides didn't mind the questions at all and honestly welcomed them fully. "I am to provide you with assistance in your everyday life, scheduling, meetings, events, and maintaining time. As well as provide companionship and comfort when necessary." He chuckles softly. "I'm glad you find me- cool. Thank you."

Haruto blushed again and looked off. He picked up his cup and took a sip of the sake then noticed that the other cup was untouched. '`You don't drink?" he asked curiously.

"I don't need companionship or whatever… that is weird and I never asked Ayame-kun that kind of stuff or whatever… and you're my assistant so that would be weird or whatever…." he was rambling again. Haruto shook his head to not get lost in those light markings as they hid under Ali's clothing. Trying to figure out if he was angry or confused that his uncle seemed to know so much about him.

Alcides flinched like he'd been caught and bowed his head deeply. "Forgive me, while I understand it is a cultural norm, I avoid anything that could impair my judgment or focus…" He apologized. "Perhaps- under less formal circumstances in the future, I would be more inclined." Raising his head slowly.

"I have no intention of doing anything you would not like me for, however, please understand that there are skill sets for which I am made, and find the most comfort and personal happiness in doing…" Ali said still messing with the smoke orb. "If- it is not too discourteous to inquire. What were the expectations your former familiar failed to meet? I ask in hopes that I can focus on them."

Haruto set down his cup that was right. This was a business meeting. It felt more like an arranged marriage but, wasn't that also a business meeting? Haru bowed his head in apology. He placed his hands on his thighs again.

"Skill Sets?" Haru's cheeks pinked and he shook his head again. Focus. "You don't have to be formal around me or whatever…" at the mention of his previous imp he looked off. "We… disagreed about what we wanted in life…." that was the easiest, less painful way, to talk about his history with Ely. "And he wasn't MY imp…. we went to school together and dated for a while, and just broke up, or whatever…What is that smoke that you're holding?" trying to change the subject

Alcides listened to Haruto and seemed surprised. "You- were a couple? That is very different than taking claim to them… uh wait- does this mean- you've never possessed an imp before? Uh… sorry to ask so bluntly, but do you- have any experience with familiars outside of- dating one?"

Though he tried to sound formal still, that positive attitude wavered and he sounded nervous. His brows even a bit tense. He looked at the orb when asked about it. "Oh. This is how my kind keeps records. I record my thoughts and notes into this smoke and I am able to interpret it… it's like- typing on a laptop or writing in a notebook for me…" He explained but still seemed a bit thrown now that he realized Haru never actually owned an imp before.

"If, I'm honest, I wanted to free him…. but…. that isn't what he wanted…." Haruto couldn't help himself and refilled his own cup before taking a sip of sake. "I don't consider you a slave or whatever……" another sip

"Ono-san. I don't know your experience with imps but, from my research, I know you're an idol." Alcides brows knit before he sighs. "Such a career choice is very demanding. There are high expectations of you and often, you don't always have a say in every aspect. Your image, your presence, and how you operate are dictated for you. Yes- you could deny these things. You can easily say you don't want to wear nice clothes, or perform any dances. But then- you wouldn't be able to be an idol. And for our purposes- isn't that what you want?"

Haruto set his cup on the table listening, part feeling like he was being scolded. "Yes, I'm sorry…" he felt like he was messing up. He coughed, cleared his throat, and put on his best Idol face. This one is kind, open and sincere. "I apologize. I leave myself in your care." he gripped his dress slacks again and lowered his head.

"I'll try not to bring you too much trouble. " This guy was just an assistant, just an assistant, he would treat this guy… this really hot…imp… GAH. He would treat him like his assistant. Just that.

Alcides shook his head. "Your missing the point, but I guess I appreciate this… however… my service doesn't come free. As you said- I'm not a slave. And I'm not dating you. With collaring there are negotiations."

The little ball twisted around his fingers as he thought. "It's what makes you, having not been a former master, so- concerning… I'm a demon after all, I could take away your soul, your first born, all sorts of things. It's rather- foolish to so easily say your willing to stake my claim before knowing what I am taking from it… your uh- former imp- consumed energy from his master and eventually, it killed her." He explains in such a manner as though he were talking about stocks and exchanges.

Haruto looked up at the imp then flinched thinking not wanting to believe that Ely would kill someone that he cared about. "I'm sorry. What…are you going to take from me? Or is it with you and my uncle?" part of him assumed because he thought that only his uncle brokered this. He thought that either way this was done and his uncle fixed it the way that his uncle fixed everything.

Alcides thinks for a moment. "Well, it was discussed with your uncle but as I'll be serving you, the arrangement must be agreed by you…" Thinking carefully. "As an idol, you're not permitted to date anyone that's not chosen for you. I am well aware of your faux girlfriend. But with me, that will be even more- literal." He sways his hand.

"It's unfortunate that the last demon you were with was someone you have dated. As I have no intention of ever giving any love to you. Put simply… In exchange for my service, you will be feeding me with your body." He answers bluntly and with a manor still formal. Shrugging even. "Over time, you will find it difficult to give your body to anyone else, rest assured, you may still fall in love and date other people but uh… well. Put simply once more. What I am taking is your lust. Your sex drive, your uh- physical needs." He hoped he was clear enough to understand.

"I am told by your uncle that it's often something in need of regulation anyway, so perhaps this will be mutually beneficial."

Haruto nodded along at first listening, flinching at how clinically Alcides said love. His face glowed bright red, and his eyes grew wide. "I… wait…. Hold on…. why would my uncle …… say that…..Well, I don't know how this will work then because I take care of my own needs or whatever and like …. you would just be my assistant. I never slept with Ayame-kun…..so…….ya" he said like he said a thing.

Alcides nodded.

"Well, I am not an assistant like Ayame-san. I'm not paid in money, I don't go home at night and come back in the morning. I'm not employed. As a familiar, I am with you always, doing everything you need of me. I'll be living in your home, caring for your needs, Providing you with schedules and guidance as well as companionship. Hm… more like a live-in caregiver mixed with an assistant. I only ask to be fed my dues and that my bare necessities are met."

Haruto's breath was caught in his throat. His head could explode. "I, you can't live with me… I live.. lived with my band mates… the other guys or whatever… You can't just move in it would be weird. " he drank from his cup again feeling a buzz.

Alcides still hadn't touched his drink at all. "Well. Your uncle has provided us with a private apartment, until the current situation changes. I assume he was going to give me a key after this meeting, I guess the same will be said for you…" He continued to speak formally. "I suppose if you do not wish for me to serve you, then your uncle can request another imp, or perhaps you can stay in the apartment alone until time you are permitted to live with your band mates again."

Haruto coughed. "Wait what?" he had no idea that he was moving. "I'm not living with the guys any more?" he said between coughs. "I don't…..How do you know about it?" he knew that that meant that his uncle already made a decision. "How do you know all of this shit about me and I've never met you before?" he was frustrated and the coughing didn't stop, choking on his spit

Alcides stands when Haru is choking, moving behind him to pat him gently on the back and offer him some sake to help clear his throat. "Drink slower." He tells the idol. "Your entire life is in the papers. And should I become your familiar, then your life is mine as well. I needed to know what my living situation would be, as well as my keeper." He gives Haru a little space as he stands behind him. "I find you interesting, Ono-san. Enough that I'm willing to trade my freedom to serve you. But we have this moment now, and I've made my terms clear… What other shit about me would you like to know?"

Haruto starts getting it together and drinks down sake leaving his cheeks pink. He adjusts his tie to straighten it and his shirt. His gaze was more open as he moved to look at the other. Shit. "Does it hurt ? Or whatever. Like am I going to go in your ball or something if you need to feed or whatever…" he was rambling now. He bit his lip to stop talking before he said something extra horrible.

Alcides looked over Haru before chuckling a bit. "If I am not fed properly, I'll end our contract. In the old days, that meant eating you but now-a-days, I can simply go back to the Cheisa." He answers with a slight chuckle. "But- you shouldn't worry so much. You're new to imps but I am not new to masters. I'll take good care of you." He says in a hopeful manner.

Haruto nodded and reached for the cup again sipping slower, his cheeks pink. This was becoming more and more of a good decision. He coughs again but manages not to choke when the imp said 'he would take care of him'. He brought out his handkerchief trying to clean himself up before turning to bow properly. "You also." he said, bringing his hands up to his lap. "Where do I sign?"

Alcides pauses but laughs. "Your Uncle already filled out the papers and made payment for me as far as the Cheisa is concerned. You only need to collar me to make it official." He says simply enough.

Haruto nodded at the mention of his uncle already taking care of things, like money and his life decisions. His eyes shot wide at the last part. "Collar! But like, we just met or whatever!" he brought up his hands.

Alcides looked baffled. "Oh- I suppose. Do you always wait to collar a dog or cat?" He asks, confused. "We can wait if you are still uncertain, but without a collar, I am not bound to you."

Haruto felt oddly relieved about that. "I've never had one…well… kinda had one but he didn't wear a collar. Thank you…." he looked up at the baffled look. "I mean, I didn't know what was happening tonight so, I didn't get you one and I don't want to get like some ugly, one, since you're my first imp…" he said, making it up as he went.

Alcides paused but had to chuckle at this. It was- sweet. "Don't overthink it, but I appreciate your thoughts. For now, do you have any more questions for me? Or would you like to move on to our new home?" His tail swayed a bit.

[crionic-soc]

To go along side my other article this is a visual mapping of the niece (Sic) far-right spaces I came across whilst exploring political groups on Robolix, with a focus on the group Patriot Imperium. The mapping in this chart also helps me piece together the links between these groups and bring together a wide range of data from a variety of sources. These images help build an ethnographic picture and provide an overview of what these small political spaces are like with in many cases this being an extension of phenomena, imagery and memes found in politifram. The material here has mainly been gathered from what's been published by Patriot Imperium followers on a variety of sites and social media. Much of it came from from YouTube clones such as BitChute or WorldTruthVideos which aren't moderated tightly.

Patriot Imperium and Anarcho Primitivism To get around bans Patriot Imperium appears to create puppet groups with a majority of these engaging with some form of anarcho primitivism or agrarianism. This links to an aspect of their ideology with their ex-leader being a fan of the esoteric neo-fascist Julius Evola's 'Revolt Against The Modern World' which denounces the regressive aspects of modern civilisation and instead argues for a traditionalist society. Using AnPrim groups as cover also giving them the potential to recruit given how well known the AnPrim position is online.

The SIEGE-pill As a group Patriot Imperium look to James Mason and his book SIEGE as and (sic) ideologue. SIEGE is an anthology of pro-Nazi essays and advocates for violent action to destablise society. The group partake in trying to SIEGE-pill other individuals on Roblox servers through signs, names and flags. The skull 'SIEGE mask' is also very popular with the Roblox group. The 'SIEGE mask' was popularised by the IRL neo-nazi group Atomwaffen, a source of inspiration for Patriot Imperium who's (sic) flag is inspired by the Atomwaffen flag. A Patriot Imperium follower even asked James Mason on a stream via paid donation what his opinion was on Patriot Imperium and name dropped the groups leader to which Mason replied that he hadn't heard of them.

National Jucheism Juche is the state ideology of North Korea described as an ultra-nationalist deviation of Marxist Leninism, its the banner and ideology of another puppet group used by Patriot Imperium followers. They are active on their YouTube channel which posts a variety of content for both Patriot Imperium and the Juchest party with these videos being very clearly marked out by the Juche and Khmer Rouge flags in their corners. The group also posts excessively about Pol Pot and the Cambodian Khmer Rouge party. They mesh Pol Pot thought with the anarcho primitivism discussed earlier to create the 'Anti-Urbanite Action' group which rallied against 'Glasses wearing urbanites'. [...]

The story of Patriot Imperium and the creation of the National Juche part is told through the National Juche YouTube channels aesthetic of overlaying 60s communist revolutionary films and music with text describing the groups Roblox actions. They often use the narration of these films to tell events that have happened in Robolox. The one below describes the leader of Patriot Imperium getting doxxed and the group being targeted bu the Roblox anti-fascist group Fifth International who are labelled as anti-revolutionary soldiers in the film. The Juche part is then described as carrying on the spirits of PI.

It's through the National Juche group that Patriot Imperium members came into contact with the Valkit party who's story is told in my other article. They interacted with the Valkist leader by exposing that previous to the Valkist party he had participated in breaking terms of service by putting up swastikas in the public nUSA server and interacting with figures KKK uniforms (sic). This was not done with the intention of making the server a better place but instead because PI followers saw these actions as encroaching on their job of causing chaos in server. This is again told through the National Juche Broadcasting style with this message overlaying a state mandated theatre performance from North Korea.

The current status of Patriot Imperium is ambiguous, according to the Fifth International wiki they've disbanded, but considering that in late January 2022 the Fifth Inernation (sic) wiki was comprimised and displayed swastikas, members doxxing and copy paste text about Big Chugus (sic) from know your meme, Patriot Imperium still appears active in some form. It seems that despite all the pressure against the group a section of dedicated players are clinging onto the name and trying to continue the legacy of PI. But activity promoting Patriot Imperium has grown more and more sparse in the last few months, it's unclear as to if these dedicated players will attempt to continue the Patriot Imperium name or maintain the same style of group with the same ideology under a different title and drop trying to promote PI.

[delfisthoughts]

You Don't Really Get It.

I have been sitting on this, these thoughts for a long time and I think maybe it’s time for me to let it all out. I will say this is inspired by this incredible piece (please go read it). Everyone knows being a woman in esports is difficult, but no one really tells you just how hard it is. It goes deeper than denied opportunities, lower pay, and being rejected in favor of men less qualified than you. It’s more than just misogynistic sentiment among players and staff. It’s more than just people thinking you can’t do it purely because of your gender. It’s about you, as a person. Who are you at your core? Who am I?

Hi, I’m Gia-an and I go by Delfino or Delfi online. I was born in Georgia but go to school in Florida and I’m majoring in business management. My pronouns are she/her. I love playing video games. I started playing pokemon and Wii games, and that eventually morphed into PC and Switch games. I first played League of Legends in September of 2020 when my older sister introduced me to the game. We both got into League Esports when we found out there was a black pro player. From there, I was hooked. So hooked, in fact, that I started creating content. First, it was silly video edits, then I started a podcast with my friends. We didn’t really know how big NAmen would get, we just wanted to create something fun about the passion we all shared.

The more I get into the scene, the more frustrated and disillusioned I become. Being a woman in a majority-male space is something I’m actually not accustomed to. My friend group IRL is mostly girls, NAmen is majority-female, and in high school, my class was pretty evenly split. I came into the scene knowing that it was majority male. I’d been in the Smash scene prior and I knew what it could be like. But honestly, I’d never thought it could be this bad.

I’m not high elo. I’m a Gold 4 peaker. I don’t know what it’s like to be a competitor in the scene, and I don’t want to speak for any of my friends or any woman that has competed in League. However, based on the things I’ve been told, it’s extremely difficult. As a woman, all eyes are on you. Whether you play up to par or not, whether you’re competitive or not, the attention on you is draining. It’s difficult to have your accomplishments belittled and your failures put under a microscope. There are many reasons that women don’t tend to go pro in esports, and lack of talent and ability is not one of them.

I’m going to move on to the fan perspective. I’m a fan. When I like something, I like it a lot. My therapist calls it hyperfixation. The way I show my appreciation for players is through fun edits, organizing hashtags for their birthdays, and other small things to make them feel loved by their fans. I came from kpop fandom. Though I wasn’t as involved with NCT and Red Velvet as I am with LCS, I picked up on the things fans do for their favorite idols and brought some of them to LCS fandom. It’s been hard. In kpop, fan votes, fun edits, and trending hashtags are normal, and in LCS, there’s none of that. Oftentimes, the fandom feels dead unless there’s something negative to talk about. This isn’t the most difficult part. It’s the response to the things my friends and I do.

So often, my tweets are met with replies like “you’re mentally ill” or “this is parasocial”. I think the people replying don’t understand the perspective of fandom from a girl. For so long, the only type of fandom the LCS has ever seen is so overwhelmingly traditionally male that other voices never shine through. Though these replies are annoying, it’s just random people I don’t care about so I just block them and move on. What hurts more is when people I know, who I genuinely think are well-meaning, say things like “oh that’s cool, but I could never do that” or “this is one of your kpop things isn't it?” Not only does it come off as condescending, it’s dismissive. I understand that kpop-style content isn't for everybody. Not everyone wants to contribute to a hashtag or write a note for their fav when he’s feeling sick or whatever, I get it. But to dismiss everything we — no, I — do as “kpop content that’s not made for a larger audience” is extremely disingenuous.

Much of the early LCS content is similar to the things we’re doing now. How is a Sneaky/Meteos funny moment compilation different from the Jojospired being best friends compilation? Why is one video considered nostalgic old LCS while the other is considered “content not made for me”? Is it because one of them is made by someone who has publicly declared that they are a woman? Why was my soloq tracking considered content “not made for everyone”, when teams themselves were doing it too? When every tweet I made about it did got insane interaction? Why are female displays of admiration looked down upon? Why are they considered different (in a bad way)? Why do I feel the need to preface nearly all of my fan content in a joking manner? Why can my content not be taken seriously?

Growing up as a girl involves a lot of shame. We’re shamed for thinking certain things, doing certain things, wearing this that or the other. Womanhood is deeply rooted in shame. Look at the trends. It’s “remove buccal fat” this or “anti-wrinkle straw” that. I thought I was used to feeling shame. Nothing on earth could’ve prepared me for esports. Feeling shame for existing. Feeling shame for expressing my admiration and appreciation for players. Feeling shame for saving pictures of my favs. Feeling shame for damn near everything I do. It’s exhausting.

Another thing that bothers me a lot is the idea that I think about players in a sexual context. This happens to my friends too, Elaine especially, but it happens to me far too often. I’ve made so many statements to clarify that no, I don't ship players and no, I don't think of players in an nsfw way. I can’t count the number of times that I’ve said this. And yet I still get moments like these,

in response to simply sending a collection of pictures featuring my favorite players. It’s not just from distant acquaintances either. Recently, someone I consider a decently close friend implied that I was thinking explicit thoughts about a player. This was after I had made multiple statements, both publically and privately about how these types of “jokes” made me uncomfortable. It just brought into perspective the title of this blog. You will never get it.

Before this section, I want to say that this is not accusatory. The “you” in this sense is not directed at any single person reading this.

You will never understand what it’s like to be a woman in this space. You will never understand how frustrating it is to be condescended to, how demeaning it is to have people’s first assumption about you be that you want to have sex with the players you admire. You won’t — can’t — understand how much garbage I get in my dms, how afraid I am to put my face on the internet, how tired I am of people implying that the only reason I got into LCS is that I want to sleep with players. It’s disgusting when someone implies that I would “jump Tenacity” — that I would assault someone if given the chance. My existence as a fan — as a person — goes far beyond what box people want to put me into and I’m sick of having to fit in that box. I’m sick of being talked to as if I’m a dumb child that doesn’t understand anything. I’m sick of those same people turning around and sexualizing me as if the only thing I think about when it comes to my favorite players is what they’re like in bed. I’m fucking exhausted. I hear comments about how NAmen “objectify” or “sexualize” players because we call them cute or think they’re attractive. Never in my life have I thought of a player as a sexual object. I’m tired of every little comment I make being taken out of context.

You will never understand that the profiles website was never made for personal gain, it was made out of love for our players. You would never understand how much we do to keep up with our favorite players. Searching through hundreds of Korean soloq accounts, following players across regions, waking up at 4 am because our favorite player is halfway across the world. We support these boys 1000000% and it’s painful to see our support get belittled.

This kind of turned into a rant, but I’m tired. Many of my friends feel the same way. Our love, our passion, has been constantly diminished and demeaned purely for the fact that it's different. The way we appreciate the LCS and our players is different, and because it’s different, it’s wrong. The things people say about us behind our backs are vile. The things people say to our faces hurt even more. All of us love the LCS and we only want to see it thrive.

Disclaimer: This post was not made to drag anyone, it’s just an expression of my thoughts. If you took it personally, well, hit dogs holler right?

[mahdithemagician]

The Best Platform For A Virtual Event

WHAT IS THE BEST ONLINE PLATFORM FOR A VIRTUAL MAGIC SHOW

Before I started performing online virtual events like my virtual magic show I did research and observed what others were doing both inside and outside of my industry. One of the common things I saw events doing was streaming the event on multiple platforms simultaneously. For instance, let’s say that the main event was taking place over Zoom the host would also be streaming the event live over Instagram, Facebook and Youtube at the same time. The idea is simple; each company, brand, or school has different people following their accounts so if you want them to all see the event live then it’s best to stream it on all these platforms so that you have more eyes on the event.

The problem is that even though you technically have more viewers, a portion of them do not get full functionality and participation. Some streaming software is able to pull live comments from Facebook and Youtube and send them directly to you in real time but how does that compare to them part of your online video conference?

Let’s take a look. When I have an online virtual show I am usually using Zoom or Google Meet and I instruct everyone to turn on their video and microphone is they can. At certain moments I may spotlight individuals or groups (pin their video and display them to the room) to feature our interaction. During this time I may be giving them instructions with a deck of cards or other small objects or reading their minds. I encourage the audience to react appropriately and let everyone know their applause or amazement is not intrusive to the show because just like an in person event I generally know when people will laugh or applaud and it adds to the atmosphere of the event. Some people may choose to respond during the show through the chat feature and type their response and reaction and send an emoji to all of us. We appreciate all the interaction and participation but at the end of the day we know that the more we use the technology to bring us closer together the better and more personal the event will be. Typing a few words and emojis is nowhere near as powerful as looking into people’s eyes and engaging with them face to face.

When I studied the data I found that audiences and groups were more responsive, engaged and passionate when they are in the moment of an event and taking part in it. I decided that the best way for people to enjoy my online virtual magic shows is to require them to be in the room with me live while the event is happening.

I stopped offering my clients to stream it live on all their different social media platform accounts and instead focused on having the best possible online event take place over one platform. That way I can see everyone in the room, talk to them and have them engage me over video live. This was not a tough decision to make because instead of seeming to offer less I am in reality offering more. I am offering everyone to come together and have an equal opportunity to costar in our online event. They don’t need to just be an anonymous commenter they can share the screen and co-star in the magic show or inspirational event.

At the same time I didn’t abandon all the other social media platforms available to us but instead I focused on working with my clients to using those specific platforms as effectively as possible. I created content specifically tailored to Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube to engage their followers and promote our events. On Instagram, we would make visual 15 second videos for their Instagram Stories and on Youtube we would post a 5-10 minute video with an interactive piece of magic and promote our event. Everything that we made was designed on brand with how my clients present themselves and want to be seen. We used every single platform to preview our events and funnel people to our live, online virtual events.

Now I perform my virtual magic show, Magic In Your Hands, through Zoom, Google Meet, or a video conferencing platform of the client’s choice. We keep the event on a single platform and use every other platform as a driver to our show and events.

[watchoutforthefanfics]

achievement unlocked 🔓 (part one) || Streamer AU! Reddie (IT)

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: this prompt

Summary: Richie liked to play video games, and by some stroke of luck, it became his job. Being primarily known as Trashmouth on stream, he found his own little group of streamer friends and they became intertwined: The Losers Club. It never did feel quite complete, though. Well, until, he got his very own backseat gamer in chat.

TWs: innuendos, mention of pet death (briefly in chat), cursing, child neglect, and shameless flirting.

[[A/N: Was scrolling through some old reblogs and found this gold mine. It is perfect for Reddie, so... Also, in terms of vibes, I think Richie's content is rivaling Game Grumps vibes, random games with funny commentary. Also, was this supposed to be a oneshot? Yes. Is it? No. This universe is just so 👌👌👌. Anyway. Enjoy :))]]

Richie Tozier was not lucky.

He grew up in the middle of nowhere in a shitty small town that was perpetually stuck in the 80s. And he was gay. So, that, in itself, spoke a lot about his shitty luck.

On top of that, Richie's parents, Maggie and Wentworth Tozier, really didn't give a shit about what he did. Ever. (He remembers telling them about being an official Twitch partner, and he got the equivalent of a 'yeah, yeah, whatever you say' text.) So, he was kinda alone. Since he was like 5 years old.

To be fair, Richie wasn't really the easiest person to be around. His therapist would probably say: "Because you never received much attention at home, you became a physical representation of 'LOOK AT ME'." And he was usually right, so there was some merit to that.

The thing was, Richie always knew he was destined for the public eye (maybe because he felt so insignificant), he wanted to make a difference. Do something so that people would see him, for once-

Streaming wasn't initially anything special, not really. Richie was just bored, which was honestly how most things he did started, and decided to make an account. Cruising over the app for awhile, he doesn't know exactly what made him do it, but he just decided to go in balls deep.

He bought a webcam, a mic, a better gaming chair, and a way fucking better PC. One good thing about his parents, they were rich. (Not the megamansion kind but definitely the healthy retirement kind). And he doesn't know if they felt guilt about how they raised him, but they were pretty lenient with 'allowances'. If you could even call them that.

And then, one day, he just pressed that fancy button.

And the rest is history.

Richie's life was kind of built around streaming at this point. He didn't really have an internal clock, so he'd wake up to stream in the mornings if he was responsible, and if he wasn't he'd do them when he was bored at 3 am. (His subs had taken to calling those streams "Richy hours" like the witch thing. Richie just rolled with it.) In the beginning, his chat and subscribers felt a little like his friends.

With college far out of his mind, he focused solely on content creation. Which, at this point was mainly streaming (not that he hasn't tried other things, there is an old YouTube channel his chat will never let down). That being said, he focused on that a lot -maybe too much, by some of his friend's standards.

That's where he was now, tapping out a rhythm on his desk as he readied up everything for the stream. This one was an actual scheduled one, which was a win for Richie's responsibility. Skimming over his monitors, he made sure to put some cursed picture on the greenscreen behind him (and made sure his shirt didn't have green on it). Making sure all his little special things were in order, like the subscriber notifications and little visuals. (They were all his own renditions, handmade. Meaning they were disfigured stick figures that chat now adored.)

And with that, Richie hit the button.

He waited a moment for people to flood in, always did -humming along with some song he had stuck in his head for the 400th time.

"Hey, all you motherfuckers," he chimed (yes, that is what he called his fans), "-how are we doing today?"

Richie skimmed over the chat through his glasses, trying to catch a few of them.

"My cat died," he read, shifting a hand through his hair (it was probably too long now, but he didn’t care), "-Fuck, dude, you're ruining the vibes. But, seriously, rest in peace."

He saluted, like Richie would do.

Skimming through chat again, he caught on another.

"Where did you get your name? Funny story actually," he began, "-it's what bullies used to call me in middle school."

The name being 'trashmouth.tozier', that is.

"No, chat, I'm not trauma dumping-"

His eyes caught on a checkmark, stan.the.man, Richie grinned big. 'What the hell are you doing up this early?'

"Staniel! Good to see you today," he clapped his hands, fidgeting with something else (he physically could not stop moving), "-And I am streaming, fucking duh."

He saw the chat waft through with a few 'STANLEY!!!'s, and maybe grinned a little brighter. Stanley was one of the Losers Club members, or this group of streamers who played together. It was Stanley, Bev, Ben, Mike, Bill, and well... Richie.

Stanley did a lot of calm games, the kinds like Stardew Valley where there's only a little combat. And even then, he just mostly did those like cheap puzzle games where you digitally built a puzzle. How he had an audience, Richie doesn't know. Sometimes he wonders how Stan even befriended him, so he was a little clueless in general.

Bev did a lot of things on stream honestly. Her biggest stuff was sewing, making outfits, and trying them on. Her chat would tell her what to fix or give her ideas on what to do next; it was pretty fun and unique. Richie popped in a few times and gave his two cents; Beverly usually just flipped him off wordlessly, but still. She did game though, obviously.

Ben came actually as one of her subscribers (unsurprisingly, Richie would find out). Bev dug into him once, watched a stream, and recruited him. He was actually the newest of the crew (it went Stanley, Richie, Bill, Mike, Bev, and Ben), and did a sort of mix of streams. He did book reviews and would take chat's suggestions on what to read next, for one. Sometimes, they'd all submit poems for him to read (Richie would send one in and Ben wouldn't even read it out loud, he was too soft for that). If not anything book-related (snore), Ben did mystery games. Like half those ones where you find things on certain screens, and half like story-driven ones. Otherwise, his channel was pretty quiet, closer to Stanley's in vibes.

Mike was the epitome of calm. EPITOME. Mostly, he did story games, the kind where characters die (Richie had seen him cry on camera at least twice), and your choices impact everything else. He did dabble in horror games though, a little because it was funny to watch scary stuff happen and Mike be completely centered with himself. And if his chat felt like it, they'd play like a cozy game. It was just the right vibes for Mike as a person.

Bill was a fun one, he fully played horror games (mostly). And yeah, he got scared, just like any normal person would, but then he'd beat the shit out of the game. Richie has watched him clear full games in 2 hours, whole games. God made him fucking determined, and Bill took that to the max. Richie was good at certain games in particular, but Bill? He could easily figure out a game in minutes and do pretty fucking good in it in, tops, an hour. He was the kind of streamer who sometimes did speedruns. It was pretty impressive, Richie will admit.

Now, Richie?

Trashmouth Tozier was total utter chaos, his chat usually reeled him in, which was kind of the opposite of what Twitch was. But it's how it worked.

Any game was, well, fair game. An obscure NES title that is shitty because of how hard it is? Done. Barbie Horse Adventures? Let's do it. A dating game about pigeons? Yeah, been there, done that. (He dated every single pigeon, every single one, and unlocked all the story available.) Story game where you can control your path? He was going villain every time, but yeah. If he wasn't doing chat's recommendations, he was showing off in some arcade-style game or maybe an RPG. Not to brag, but he was pretty fucking good at them; the Losers Club hated that, mostly because it blew up his ego.

"What are we doing today?" Richie read out, and then grinned big and wide, "-Well, well, chat. We're tackling something you guys have begged for, almost as much as your mom was last ni-"

Beep! Beep! A clown horn echoed through the air.

The little visual of a clown (with an obnoxiously big red nose) popped up, along with a name and message.

mike.me.up donated $1: took one for the team guys

Right, Richie had a physical button people could use to shut him up. Every time someone donated, they could choose to 'beep' him. His friends had picked up on saying it to him verbally: "Beep, beep, Richie."

"C'mon, Mikey," he groaned, eyes dipping over the chat (which was still flooded with horn emojis and 'beep, beep' in all caps), "-that one wasn't even that bad-"

stan.the.man: thanks mike

"Guys," he whined, throwing his head back,"-stop ganging up on me. Chat, defend me."

The chat blew up (mostly those like huffing out air emojis and soldier salutes), and Richie thought he saw a request for a Barbie game (again), and he ignored it.

big.bill: are you going to tell us the game or not, rich?

"Billy, you always have to ruin the fun, don't you?" Richie pursed his lips with no bite. He never really had any bite, "-But okay, fine. Let's fucking do this-"

With a grin, he unmuted the audio that was playing from the game's main screen, which chat couldn't see yet.

"Dream Daddy~"

reddy.bevvy: FINALLYYY, our prayers have been answered

"Bevvy, baby!" Richie called out, smiling again, before asking, "-What the fuck are you all doing? Shouldn't you be streaming? Or am I the only one who has my shit together today? For once?"

Before anyone could answer, another notification flew across his screen.

benny.boy raided you with 2,645 viewers

"Benny," he called out with a grin, before pausing, "-Wait, when the fuck did your stream start? It's like nine in the morning-"

Richie paused a moment, waiting for the chat to answer his question, Which it did.

"6?!" he spoke in disbelief, eyes wide through the lens of his glasses, "-What the fuck, Ben? What are you doing-"

They went back and forth a few times, Richie rambling about a few different things. Today, it was a little about how he went to get a coffee and the barista put expired milk into it. He really couldn't make this shit up. After that though, he decided to focus in on the game.

Shifting the screen to gameplay with his little camera in the corner, Richie skimmed through the chat again.

"Isn't this game gay?" he read out aloud, "-Yes, it is, and so am I, while we're talking about it."

The chat flooded with rainbow flags and hearts, something in Richie's heart twinkled. He really had a good community, somehow. He had no fucking clue how, actually-

"Wait," Richie gasped, looking at the game, "-I can make my fucking character?! My gay dad? Chat-"

stan.the.man: we're going to be here forever guys, thanks

"Stan," he held his hands over his heart, dramatically, "-you wound me. I thought we were friends. It's always the closest ones who hurt you the worst-"

stan.the.man donated $1: shut the fuck up richard

"Awe," Richie switched his tone, "-Stanley, thanks for the donation. Time for more important matters though-"

He leveled a serious gaze into the camera.

"What do we think, chat? Twink or bear?"

His mods were pretty quick to set up a poll, and actually, it was a twink sweep. And to be fair, Richie did love him a twink. So, he wasn't super surprised. By the time he got to the clothes, chat was slower, calmer, and maybe that's why he saw the message. Or maybe it was fate, Richie could believe it.

eddie.kaspbrak: just don't give him a shitty shirt like yours

eddie.kaspbrak: i can't handle both of them on my screen at the same time

Richie stopped what he was doing, pulling on his shirt at the shoulders (it was white with flamingos wearing fedoras), "What, Eddie Spaghetti? You don't like it?"

He had a tendency to talk to chat like he knew them personally (which he decidedly did not know this person). It was part of the appeal of his streams. Or he thinks so anyway.

eddie.kaspbrak: what the fuck did you just call me?

"Eddie Spaghetti," he repeated, plainly, but with a little bit of a shit-eating grin.

eddie.kaspbrak: that's the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard and I watch your streams so that's saying something

Richie laughed out loud and pinned the comment himself (it stayed there until the stream ended), "Eds gets off on a good one! Chat, let's applaud-"

Chat was filled with clapping emojis, and that was that.

The next time Richie heard from Eddie was about a day later (he had a break day between streams), where he was picking up Dream Daddy again. In the end, he didn't seem to get past meeting every Dad, so he had quite the way to go.

A little after he started the stream, maybe even minutes, he caught Eddie in chat.

eddie.kaspbrak: dream daddy again?

"Eddie!" he exclaimed with a grin, "-Yes, we are romancing the Dads, yet again."

eddie.kaspbrak: you didn't even get to that last time

eddie.kaspbrak: you were spending too much time picking out shitty facial hair

Richie laughed a little, watching as more chats filled the space and he maybe felt a little disappointed that Eddie was washed away in it. Which was fucking weird, but that was just between Richie and himself, so who cares.

"Hey, motherfuckers," he chimed, raising his hands -routinely, "-how are we doing today?"

They got into the game pretty early this time, and Richie took it upon himself to voice every character differently -flawlessly he will add.

"Wait," he spoke, suddenly, "-we can fuck Robert?"

Richie stared at the screen a second, before flashing over to chat, "Guys, should we fuck Robert?"

Clown horn.

geez.zee donated $5: fuck robert

"Thank you, Zee," he chimed, instinctively, before taking on a more heroic (dramatic really) voice, "-For you, I shall fuck Robert!"

They were finally at the portion where you could pick dates, and Richie was exaggeratively rubbing his chin. Eyes darting over the list, they hovered over a few of them.

"This is the café guy, right?" Richie questioned, reading out the name -mouse ontop of him, "-Mat? The one we chose the pun for?"

The chat told him yes.

"Okay," he acknowledged, biting at his lip, "-Chat, I think I want to be a monsterfucker."

reddy.bevvy: you could also be a homewrecker

"Bev," he clicked his tongue, eyes moving over to Joseph (the married Dad), "-you do have a point."

benny.boy: neither of them is your type though, rich

"Ben, Benny, my beloved," Richie responded, "-It's about the fantasy of it. It's fucking boring if I do that."

Before he could say much else, a horn interrupted it.

eddie.kaspbrak donated $1: what is your type?

Richie grinned, big and bright, batting his eyelashes, "Eds, my oh my, are you flirting with lil' ole me?"

He got a few more clown honks for that, and yeah, he expected it. Respected it, even.

"If you're not a dude though," he added, "-sorry, it won't work out. I'm into strictly dicks. If I wasn't, I'd be married to Bev."

reddy.bevvy: 😘😘😘

eddie.kaspbrak: fuck you trashmouth

There was a pause.

eddie.kaspbrak: and I am a dude for the record, obviously

eddie.kaspbrak: why would I watch your shitty fucking gameplay if I wasn't

"I'm getting mixed signals here, Spaghetti," Richie commented, mimicking picking petals off a flower, "-He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not-"

Honk, honk.

eddie.kaspbrak donated $1: i asked you a question dipshit

"I dunno, Eds," he laughed, "-if you keep paying me, I might just put it off forever. Plus," he motioned to his monitor, "-Chat already knows."

itty.bitty-mettle: Robert

cryingandscreaming: Robert fs

toziers-trash: he's fucked up so probably Robert

jiggy.saws: Robert hands down

letdown-urhair: he always goes for brunettes and he's a freak so Robert

too.tough.to.cry: screaming why is everyone saying the same thing

the_girls.girl: Robert but like a twink

your._.mom: you'd think it was Joseph but it's Robert

bouncing-baby-boy: Robert bc he's a dick

Richie motioned to chat again, dramatically making prayer hands with a melodic tone, "The chat has spoken."

He took a second like that, before switching back to normal -answering genuinely, "But yeah, Spaghetti, teeny little brunettes who are mean to me."

stan.the.man: he is being 100% honest by the way believe me

Eddie decidedly didn't say anything else. Not that Richie was waiting or anything. Because he wasn't.

"Well," he cleared his throat, strictly not disappointed, "-mods, let's run a poll. Monsterfucker or homewrecker, chat?"

[ear-worthy]

The Ten News Podcast: News Designed For Your Kids

Developing any news program today is about as dangerous as that barrel gambit over Niagara Falls. However objective you may think your news program is, you will always have people claiming it's "fake news" or it doesn't sufficiently worship at the feet of self-proclaimed and self-deputized culture warriors. 

News for children is even more of a long shot for success. We have parents at school board meetings screaming about curriculum that isn't taught in their schools, but their Facebook group claims it is. Or books like "The Diary of Anne Frank" banned in parts of Florida and Texas because --. Who knows why?

 That’s why The Ten News podcast is simply so good. It is terrific children’s programming. This is how The Ten News describes their podcast: “The Ten News podcast explores topics that kids care about most, including events, sports, science, gaming, pop culture, entertainment, and more! With new episodes every Wednesday, it’s a great way for you and your family to stay connected with what’s going on in the world.”

The Ten News was a Common Sense Selection, which is a part of Common Sense Media’s seal program that recognizes podcasts for engaging stories, valuable content, diverse voices, characters, and messages that are a great choice for kids & families. ⁠ ⁠

In its first two seasons, the podcast produced and released an amazing 129 episodes. In those two seasons, the podcast has welcomed notable guests such as LEGO Masters Judge Amy Corbett, America’s top doctor Dr. Anthony Fauci, and Sarah Natochenny, the voice of Ash Ketchum for Pokémon fans.

The Ten News podcast is deep into its third season with a brand-new logo, format, and co-hosts. The Ten News delivers quality news content to kids 8–12. The third season started with a back-to-school special and a helpful explainer of the terms used during Hispanic Heritage Month. Do you know why Hispanic Heritage Month starts on the 15th rather than the first?

I didn’t. Well, tune into the episode to find out.

One of the podcast's best features is Ten Things You Need To Know. In those episodes, which last about seven minutes, ten kid-appropriate news items are covered.

On March 28th, for example, the ten news items ranged from West Coast wild weather continues to world baseball champs, and from TikTok troubles to a major disaster in Mississippi.

The mad scientist for The Ten News is Tracy Leeds Kaplan, who founded Small But Mighty Media, which is a development and production agency focused on creating non-fiction audio and video programs that inform and inspire audiences of all ages. Small But Mighty Media aims to address underserved audiences with bespoke content and tell stories that need to be told. It’s an admirable goal, and she and her team are passionate about achieving it.

With strong production values, great writing, and a finely tuned narrative style for its ages 8–12-year-old target audience, The Ten News doesn’t miss a beat. But it’s the co-hosts that truly excel at connecting with their audience.

Ryan Willard is an award-winning filmmaker and writer based in NYC. A fellow of the Sesame Street Writers’ Room in 2019, wrote for their upcoming animated series, Bea’s Block, and was proud to help bring Ji-Young, Sesame’s first Asian Muppet, to the screen. In his free time, Ryan enjoys hosting professional table tennis events, and MC’d the 2021 World Table Tennis Championships.

Pamela Kirklandis an award-winning journalist based in Atlanta. As a field producer for CNN, she’s covered breaking news events around the country, ranging from hurricanes to elections. Before that, Pamela worked for The PBS NewsHour, reporting on stories looking at the opioid crisis, immigration, education, and more. She’s traveled the country covering four presidential campaigns, Congress, and the White House.

The co-hosts have chemistry that seems developed in a lab because it’s so good. Willard can be silly like an eight-year-old child and still deliver relevant information. Kirkland balances journalistic heft with juvenile attitude, which plays perfectly for the audience.

The podcast also has an experienced cadre of correspondents, ranging from a romance novelist to a human rights activist. It’s an eclectic group that talks “kid” like pros.

In today’s culture war society, parents seem hyper-vigilant on what information their children are exposed to. The Ten News is a suitable format and venue for children 8–12 regardless of parents’ political beliefs.

Check out The Ten News podcast. Your child will thank you. And you, Mom and Dad, should listen, too. It’s fun, and even you can learn.