#Becuase - you know - everyone knows apart from them

[noodyl-blasstal]

Bones - Blupjeans Week day 5

My @blupjeansweek prompts are part of a story find the others here: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | or on Ao3

Barry woke up warm. Barry woke up warm because Lup ran warm. Barry woke up warm because Lup ran warm and she was pressed against his back with her arm slung over his side and her head pressed into his shoulder. He should probably move. Sure, they cuddled sometimes, but this wasn’t that kind of leaning against each other watching a movie cuddle. Right now, Lup didn’t know what she was doing. She was asleep and probably dreaming about someone else and she was going to wake up any second just to be repulsed by what was going on. Or… well, maybe not, because she always said he was great for cuddling. But still, he couldn’t take advantage. He tried to gently wriggle free, but Lup just groaned and snaked her arm further round his middle. Barry froze. If he kept moving he’d wake her, the disco ball was still spinning gently above them and only the dimmest light crept through the gauzy curtains. There was no way it was people o’clock yet and Lup was on driving duty today, ergo, staying still was the best thing to do. Lup got more sleep, he didn’t have to worry about her feeling pressured to drive when she was too tired, and maybe he could slip free once she’d settled again. Barry relaxed, Lup nuzzled his back and he drifted into sleep again.

-

They didn’t talk about it at breakfast or once they hit the road. He’d woken up again hours later with Lup sprawled across his chest, his arm round her, and her legs tangled with his. She’d smiled up at him, sleep mussed and groggy, kissed him on the cheek, mumbled “morning, Bear,” then just gotten up as if this was completely normal for them. At breakfast the server asked how married life was and she told him it was definitely and absolutely different to the 17 years they’d been together at before they tied the knot. Then she held Barry’s hand, and kissed his knuckles, and said “... right babe?” Barry had nodded seriously, like he was in on the joke. Like he was her husband and she was his wife and they were both so tired of the question. She packed up the bags and held his hand on the way out of the parking lot “... just in case anyone’s looking….” so Barry rubbed his thumb across her knuckles and smiled fondly at her, just in case.

– “Okay Bear, you’re on directions now, looks like the satnav has no clue where we are.”

“Oh, yeah, that’ll happen. Means we’re nearly there though!” Barry straightened in his seat but kept his hand looped loosely in Lup’s. Sure, no one from the motel could see them anymore, but she hadn’t moved and he hadn’t moved, and it was fine. Friends held hands, it didn’t mean anything.

“Great! It’s been a while since we stopped at the giant ball of wool, can’t wait to stretch out.”

Barry ruefully let Lup know they were approaching a turn. Every time she let go to operate the gears he worried she wouldn’t put her hand back, that it’d be the last taste of that fondness and he wouldn’t even know it until it was over. “Okay, now it’s the third on the left, but that’s going to take a while on this track. It gets pretty bumpy.”

Lup grinned. “I think I can handle it.” She said, and grabbed his hand again. “But I’ll hold on, just to be safe.”

The car juddered along the track and Barry’s teeth rattled in his skull. He usually hated this bit of the journey, but today he couldn’t focus on anything but the bright warmth on his palm. “Here we are!” He pointed to a wooden framed house with a yellow porch, orange shutters, and a smiling woman in the process of leaping out of her rocking chair to run down the steps.

“Kids!” Marlena yelled happily as Lup parked the car. Lup scrambled out first and was immediately enveloped in a huge hug. “Lup! It’s so nice to finally meet you in person! You’re just as beautiful as you are on video!” Barry eased himself out and stood awkwardly to the side. “Was the drive okay, dear? I hope you didn’t get too tired. Barry, I can’t believe you left her to do the boneshaker track.”

Barry stopped himself before fully reverting to his moodiest teen self and snarking back. “I missed you too, Mummig.” He said with a wry grin. “Now, can I have a hug too? Or have you replaced me? I must admit, I thought it would take slightly longer.”

“I work fast, Bear.” Said Lup, shooting him some finger guns before retreating to the car to forage for her bags.

Barry shook his head, then scooped a laughing Marlena up into his arms. Her soft grey hair tickled his nose, she smelled of rosemary, slowly caramelising onions, and home home home. Barry should have come back sooner. It was so easy to get caught up in research and time just slipped away without him noticing, but it had been too long since he got to hug her like this. He was going to chop and stack so much wood, restock the coal shed, and do everything else a penitent absent son could set his mind to while he was here.

“Sorry Barry, I just wanted to give my daughter in law a squeeze, can you blame me?” Marlena said, close to his ear. Hopefully close enough that Lup hadn’t heard. Barry had no idea how Marlena had clocked his feelings for Lup already, but there was no way he was accidentally telling her via the medium of his mother.

“Oh! Did Barry tell you about the accident at the motel?” Lup looked shame faced. Oh no, of course she’d heard, and she thought that Barry had been disappointed and complained about it? She already felt so needlessly bad about it… Maybe fake collapsing would get him out of this… it worked with the school play when he was 9.

“The what, sorry Lup love, what do you mean? Is everything okay?”

“I’m really thirsty.” Barry announced far too loudly. He couldn’t let this conversation continue happening. No way no how.

“Oh, of course, sorry love, I shouldn’t leave you both stood out here, let me take you inside and get you settled in your room. I made up your bed and popped the trundle in your room, Barry. You were okay to share, weren’t you?” Barry didn’t miss the mischief in her voice, maybe he should just drive away? Marlena wouldn’t miss him too much with Lup around, and Barry could go back to the cryptid motel and make weird sculptures out of roadside junk or something. What could go wrong?

“Lead the way, Bluejeanseseses.” Lup saluted, two rucksacks perched on her shoulders. Barry shook his head fondly and took both of their elbows. It was the gentlemanly thing to do after all.

“We’ll meet you back in the kitchen, Mummig, we just need to dump our stuff.”

“Don’t rush on my account.” Marlena winked at him and Barry blushed violently red. He wasn’t convinced he was going to survive 5 days of this, the first 10 minutes had already been touch and go.

– “Listen…” Said Barry, as he stopped Lup in the hallway in front of a door with a sign which read: Barryabratory - enter if you dare “... the thing is…”

“Barryabratory?” Lup was delighted. This was bad. She’d already pulled out her phone to take a picture, which likely meant that Taako was also going to refuse to let him live this one down.

“I was a baby.” Barry held up his hands to protest his innocence, Lup glared at him, seeing straight through his lies.

“... a baby of…?”

“Fifteen…” There was no point in lying, the faster he admitted it, the quicker she’d get bored of teasing him about it. Lup snickered. “But…” He bravely soldiered on. “... just to warn you. This room? This is Barry unfiltered. I know your nerd radar is solid and you clocked me, loudly…” Barry pretends to glare. “...on day one. But, this is probably… more… you know… than… that.” He finished lamely.

“Full frontal Barry.” Said Lup solemnly. Barry didn’t even know how to process that. “This I need to see!” Lup lunged for the door handle. “I wanna know what extra nerdy shit baby Barry was into.”

She tumbled through the door and froze. Oh. It was worse than he thought. Marlena hadn’t moved anything… he definitely thought he’d asked her to move the animal skulls. Lup was going to think she’d been living with a serial killer, this was bad, this was probably really bad.

“Barry, are those real?”

Yep, she was pointing straight at the dead animal bits, she was going to run screaming and there was no way to convince her not to because ‘his childhood room was full of dead stuff he collected’ seemed like a big old red flag. “Er… sorry… I can move them? I… uh… I mean, yeah. Yeah they are, real, that is.”

“Rad!” Lup said happily, and walked over. “Can I?” She gestured towards the shelf. Barry nodded, barely breathing, waiting in the doorway to make sure she didn’t think he was crowding her. “This one’s corvid, right? Krav’s gonna be so jealous!”

Oh. Oh! Lup didn’t care? Of course, of course Lup didn’t care because she was the most perfect woman to ever grace the earth and she thought his skull collection was ‘rad’. So now he had to fall even more helplessly in love with her. There was nothing he could do to stop it, there was nothing he wanted to do to stop it.

“Ooooh, tell me about these jars?” Lup pointed at Percival, one of Barry’s earliest pickling experiments. “Then you definitely have to tour me round those rocks… Wait! Is that stoat wearing a top hat?” She darted over to inspect Stanley.

“Yeah, I, well I had to make one to fit, but then I had a bit of leftover material so I did the matching bowtie too.” Said Barry as he walked over to join her. He prodded gently at the bowtie, nothing happened. “It used to light up but the battery might have gone by now.”

Lup squeaked in delight. “Barry, I adore you.”

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

For the questions for fic writers, 49 and 50 please?

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

I've been bouncing back and forth between the last chapter of toy rosaries and the next chapter of nhthcth. Here's a few lines of toy rosaries:

Not two seconds later, they notice him gawping down at them like a fool. The man in the mask freezes. Claire jabs a finger at him like she’s tattling to the recess monitor. 

“He says this guy kidnapped a kid and we need him to tell us where he is.” 

Oh, so there’s where he kept the Devil. He hadn’t felt it in some time. But it’s right there, next to the pit in his chest. It seems comfortable as it finds its way up his pulse. 

“I’ve got a pair of pliers,” says Jack, jerking his head back from where he came. “If that’ll help.”

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

Let's do this one: 17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

Okay so I have one for TMA and one for Marvel.

TMA: Danny, Jon, and Gerry Buzzfeed Unsolved AU. Jon runs into Agnes Montague while at Oxford, and it changes things. He goes on the run from the Web, picks up an amnesiac man he semi-accidentally rescued from some fucked up circus freaks, starts running even faster. They find a kind goth who joins them in their scooby adventures, because Jon is HIGHLY susceptible to serial killers and Gerry is kind enough to help him escape being bookified. They end up starting a ghost hunting YouTube channel, Ghost Hunt--not to be confused with Ghost Hunt UK, who hates them on a profound level--to cover up their monster hunting supernatural shenanigans. It gains immense popularity--because of Jon's skepticism about the existence of supernatural.

Marvel: the idea is that there are many Peter Parker's in the Multiverse, and the Collector just wants the one that no one would miss. A very lonely version of Peter gets nabbed right when he's starting off his Spider-Man career, before anyone even knows the name, by a Collector who's decided he's the centerpiece of his collection. This one is so dramatic. There's TRAUMA. There's SPACE. There's a GLADIATOR ARENA. There's MIND GAMES. the REVENGERS are there. And, Yes, I found a way for the Frank Castle's dead family to be there too. This is yet another one of my defridging the castle family stories. I am obsessed with this AU and it is so ridiculously niche. If anyone wants to ever read a space odyssey featuring Peter Parker and the Punisher's dead family, by fucking god, i have you covered.

[confused-wanderer]

Screaming because I’m rewatching Sanders sides and in the episode “Growing Up” where everyone ignores and belittles Patton, Roman quite literally tells him: “Perhaps it’s best you just sit in to knowing the difference between right and wrong, and leaving the rest upto us.”

I am SCREAMING

Because in Selfishness versus Selflessness and the whole fucking mess that that was, from the beginning Patton is already torn becuase he knows what Thomas wants even if he doesn’t want to admit it to himself. He’s telling Thomas he should go to the wedding even though both of them know what he really should do.

Patton literally goes against himself to help Thomas, because it was more important that Thomas doesn’t fall apart than his own voice screaming at him with every fibre of his body that this was wrong. That’s why he was so off at the trial, and barely had any heart into what he wanted to say. He was doing it out of obligation.

So he does what Roman told him in the earlier episodes, and they’re in a court setting! Where rights and wrongs are the only things discussed! So he’s going against himself, he’s trying to only stick to rights and wrongs to help everyone out, hoping if he did a good job everything would work out and only realises at the end that everything still went so fucking wrong and he was the cause of it even if he was trying to make everyone happy.

Plus his repression and self-hatred only fulled after the Intrusive Thoughts episodes - Patton is bearing the most burden on himself because of everything, arguably as much if not more than Roman.

Someone please give him a hug and two cookies🍪🍪

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

BAU team x LGBTQ + Teen reader

So it's pride month so of course im going to write a oneshot about teen reder making everyone go to Pride with them becuase i dint nearly see enough of these on here.

summary:  It's pride Month and the reader wlaks in to the teams work and demands that they all come to pride with them to celebrate.

Y/N - They/Them pronouns using (any Sexuality)

My headcannons for the team

Hotch

- Bisexual

- definitely Trans (FtM)

-Demisexual as well (loves Haley and obviously had a baby with her)

Rossi

- Biromantic (apart from 3 wifes he definitely experimented with men in his youth)

- Gives the best Dad/Grandad hugs at pride

-Is proud of his Queer children

Spencer

- Bisexual

- Genderfluid (he's my baby he has to be Genderfluid)

-Asexual

Derek Morgan

- Biromantic (hasnt done anything Sexual with a man before because of buford (Bastard)

Emily

- do you have to ask obviously a fucking raging lesbian (definitely had a crush on JJ at some point)

JJ

- Bisexual but is in a committed relationship with Will, had a crush on Emily at some point( I ship them okay)

Penelope Garcia

- Pansexual and Panromantic very open about who she is and is very happy

-Demigirl she still feels like a girl but also not uses She/They pronouns.

(these are my headcannons it's okay if you don't agree woth them just don't come at me in the comments!!)

Third person pov...

It was the first of June which meant Pride Month! Y/N had been excited about it all year, they couldn't wait to get thr team to go to a Pride Parade with them and to celebrate it all together.

Y/N themselves was Non-binary and (What Sexuality you are) and are very proud to be it, they are always seen wearing their pronouns badge and Non-binary pin.

Y/N was making their way to the FBI building, in their hands were mini pride flags and stickers for all their friends, once they got to the floor they skipped out of the elevator and into the bullpen.

The team didn't see them so they quickly began putting each team members flags into their pen pots. Bisexual, Asexual and Genderfluid for Spencer. Biromantic to Derek. Bisexual for JJ. Lesbian for Emily.

As Rossi, Hotch and Penelope all had offices Y/N lefts their flags outside the doors and knocked so they saw them, once the Teen was done they went to the round table and sat on a chair waiting for the team to notice them.

A couple minutes later all 7 members wondered into the room, smiling when they see the teen not expecting them to be there. Once everyone was sitting Y/N stood up.

"Okay guys as you know it's Pride Month, which means Virginia is having its Pride Parade and I was wondering if you'd like to go to it with me?" They ask nervously, they had never asked the team anything to do woth pride even though they had been out as Non-binary to them for years.

Thw first perosn to speak was Penelope they squealed and stood up a giant smile on her face. She then reached out and hugged Y/N tightly. "Of course we will sweetie, won't we giys?" She says making then other all say yes and take turns hugging Y/N.

After they had finished hugging Y/N the teen began ruffling through their bag again and pulled out pin badges for everyone with their flags on. "For you guys I have mine" they say pointing to their Non-binary pin and (Y/S) badge proudly.

Once everyone had theirs, they all went back to work, the pride parade wasn't until that Saturday.

Timeskip...

It was Saturday morning and Y/N was awake and doing their make up for pride, once they were done they left their house and made their way to the middle of town where the team was waiting.

JJ had brought Henry and Will, Hotch also had Henry with him, Y/N was happy to see them all wearing something to do with their flags.

Penelope was decked out in the colours of the Pan flag and had a small demigirl flag painted on their face.

Hotch had a Bisexual flag on his face and a trans flag in his hand, he also had a Demisexual flag pinned to his tshit, Jack was holding a small pride flag in his hand a hug grin on his face.

Y/N almost cried at what Rossi was wearing, it was a tshirt that read 'Free Dad hugs' Y/N laughed when they saw 'Grand' written infront of the Dad part definitely Morgan or Emily's doing, he also had a small Biromantic flag painted on his face.

Spencer was wearing the Asexual colours, had a Bisexual flag tied to their shoulders and had the Genderfluid flag painted on his cheek, he too had a huge smile on his face.

Derek had a Biromantic flag on his cheek and was wearing the Bi colours definitely Penelopes doing.

Emily had the lesbian flag painted on her face and the Lesbian flag tied around her shoulder proudly.

JJ had a Bisexual flag painted on her face, Will was wearing a tshirt that read 'I love my Bi wife' which was cute and little Henry was holding a rainbow flag like Jack.

"You all look amazing!" Exclaimed the teen, very happy to see the team in the spirit, they really thought they wouldn't wear anything especially Hotch. "Let's go enjoy the parade!" They yelled before running into the park.

The park itself was filled with people who were there celebrating pride and wearing their flags. Rossi got so many hugs from teens who got kicked out or aren't supported by their parents which made the old man cry.

They stayed in the park until the parade was starting one it did the team all joined in and took any pictures together to remember the day they had.

By the end the kids had fallen asleep, Jack and Henry had gotten alot of stickers and were covered in them, Y/N was scrolling through their phone smiling at all the pictures and videos they took together.

Before everyone left they stood up and turned to all 7 of them. "Thank you all for doing this with me I had alot of fun" they said making the Adults smile at the teen.

"Of course Y/N, your our kid how could we not do this together" Hotch says making the teen tear up, thw teen then hugs the man tightly to hugs them back

It truly was an amazing day for everyone.

The end!

Hoped you liked thus oneshot, I've been meaning to write thus for days but didn't have any ideas but now here it is.

As always sorry for the grammar and Spelling mistakes. Request are open!

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Word count: 1163

[notthestarwar]

for the WIP game, can you tell me more about ‘Fox gets a job- quin/ Fox’ 👀👀

thank you for asking!

OK so i know i've talked about this on here before but i love this au so i'm gonna repeat myself a bit probably.

so its set post war, no order 66. The idea is that the war opened everyones eyes to cloning, in a very bad way. loads of half bit criminals are like. free labour? people we can raise to do whatever we want? why don't we give it a try. theres a background of a lot of shitty gangs going about trying out cloning in a way that would horrify the kaminoans really. this is not good science, this is comic book-esque backstreet cloning in order to take advantage of people.

they are largely not successful. the problem isnt that there are loads of gang owned clones around. the problem is that they keep trying even tho they dont know shit about cloning and so vulnerable ppl are getting kidnapped off the streets for gennetic material and in a baby farm type way to grow clones in. its bad.

enter fox. he's drifting after the war. he doesnt really know what too do with his life. he is looking for a job and he says he wants a job but everytime he gets an interview he's overly honest and tells them things like 'yeah i killed my last boss' (palpatine) and 'my greatest flaw? i'm too competent. it makes my bosses feel inferior' and so understandably nobody will give him a job

he doesnt actually need a job. quin is paying all his bills cause theyre in a weird not relationship and wont admit they care about eachother. fox is deadly embarrased about whatever quin funding him and spending all his days off in fox's apartment might signify and so it is a MASSIVE SECRET that must be kept from fox's brothers.

so fox at this point in his life, stumbles on to one of these cloning ops and ends up helping someone. and it becomes kind of addictive. he wont admit it but helping these people, who are being hurt by cloning, settles something in him. maybe it settles the thing in him that he wont admit is so hurt by the cards he and his brothers have been dealt, by what was done to them.

so fox sets up as a private investigator. but because he's a weirdo who runs from intimacy he kind of. doesnt tell anyone (he cant. this is important to him) but of course, his brothers find out anyway and they also find out that he's running the worst business ever because he's not taking money from his clients. because he doesnt feel right doing it.

now where this is building to (and this is the part that i kinda got stuck on) is he stumbles on to a BIG criminall gang cloning conspiracy. one where they are actually succeeding in cloning people. he ends up investigating this one with Boba! which pretty much happens cause at the start before he knows how big this is, he walks in to this lab, and who has also broken in to the lab and is investigating the same conspiracy? BOBA. and its just like. fox and boba stood on either side of this illegal lab like. spiderman meme pointing. looking out of the window of a car as they drive past each other. that vibe.

and the rest of the story is boba and fox on this unwilling team up. neither of them wanting to admit to feelings but having to kind of both admit. yeah. bad things happened to us and i dont like the idea of anyone else being out there with similar stuff happening to them. they also unwillingly get close. then theres the side plot of fox having to admit his feelings when it comes too quin and admit that theyre kinda living like theyre in a committed relationship without the words. and then the other thing thats going on in the background is cody and obi wan, who are living together, in a happy relationship apart from the fact that they never have an empty house becuase one of them is aways inviting some wayward sibling or other to stay with them. cody and obi wan respectively have no shortage of family so its just constant and both of them act like theyre annoyed each time the others do it, but really, its why they love each other and theyre both so big brother coded and yeah.

so i know i've alread shared some bits of this here and here (and possibly theres a third one floating around here as welll? cant find it)

so here are some other snippets from other parts of the au:

and from a bit later on, a quin/fox bit

later on, fox being uncharactaristially honest (it's easier when the person doesnt matter to him)

and finally, fox's thoughts on the cloning problem

and i've shared loads sorry so i'll stop now, but yeah. this is an idea i am very excited about and i am very frustrated that i havent been able to form a conspiracy that fits right for him and boba to investigate

[rmsstevielol]

Ok hello im back to rant again!

Todays topic is Kilts, Tartan and the importance of them to our culture 😜

So, kilts and tartan have been a part of Scottish and Irish culture for CENTURIES right? And don’t even come at me with “oh Victoria introduced clan tartans🧐🧐” they still had them before! Anyways my main issue is that it’s becoming a worldwide type thing or a thing that can be used by anyone.. it is literally somebody’s culture and it should not be used just for fun.

I am CONSTANTLY seeing stuff like “GRWM kilt addition” and it’s someone who has no Scottish or Irish relation and they aren’t even wearing it properly, mostly Americans and English people which is very annoying becuase they don’t even acknowledge where it’s from or how to wear it properly. Another thing is that tartan is being made for different religions Or sexualities and even an English one exists now.. can we not do that because it, once again, belongs to a culture and by making different tartans for all these different things, it takes the meaning and importance of it to our culture. I literally see SO MANY schools in England and people wearing it in general wearing it, referring to it ‘plaid’, like no, it’s tartan.

Also I definitely do not fw the royals wearing the Stuart tartan or any tartan in general because im not being funny but they literally have barely traceable Scottish genealogy and they even went as far as BANNING the Stuart tartan for anyone apart from the royals, even though they literally not Stuart’s and there are actual Stuart’s out there, who still wear them, but still the fact there is a law that they cannot wear there own family tartan is actually disgusting. The royals aren’t Scottish or Irish therefore should not wear them. I swear i see many wealthy English people wearing kilts like it’s a thing of nobility for everyone.. it’s not.

Tartan and kilts are not just a thing to show off your wealth and high status, they are our culture and something that is very much valued and appreciated in modern day, bringing me on to my next point, that “clan tartans aren’t relevant” or “kilts aren’t that important anymore”, which is extremely false. I know many families, including my own, who wear their own family tartan and kilts all the time and they’re something that is highly valued and respected by them, it is something that is important to us because it gives is pride in our family, culture and history. We wear them to important events too! So by random non Scottish/Irish people wearing them anywhere (in the wrong way) it takes away the whole meaning of that. Also wearing someone’s clan tartan and not knowing anything about it, does not sit right with me at all, like just wear your own cultural clothing.

I saw a very specific example of taking kilts and using them as an “accessory”on a TikTok video, a couple months ago, where a young English woman was showing how she “styles” a kilt. This kilt was a proper, authentic, Scottish kilt and the way she was handling it and talking about it was very disrespectful and just rude. She first stated how she didn’t like the length, as it made her look like a granny, where she then started to pin it up to make it a mini skirt.. how much more do I really need to say. It’s plain rude and disrespectful, if you cannot wear it respectfully and properly then don’t wear it at all, simple as. Another thing with this woman, is that she was completely arrogant to the comments trying to correct her and call her out on her behaviour, she was pretty much disregarding them as “petty” not admitting her wrongs in any way.

Now, before you all come at me, hear me out. I know cultural appropriation is a very very controversial topic but if people are truly outraged by it then why is the appropriation of tartan and kilts not taken more seriously, it is the same exact thing. If i were to compare, the issue with the appropriation of Native American culture and how there are awful costumes made of them on Amazon, is very similar, if not the same situation as i am talking about with the kilts and tartan, for example, the cheap, stereotypical costumes of Scottish people on Amazon or the “sexy” mini skirt “kilts” with the matching hats.. see how similar the situations are. I do believe that a lot of what im seeing regarding how kilts and tartan are being worn, is cultural appropriation and is not being paid attention to nearly enough.

I used to brush it off as “not that deep” or “not as bad as others”, as a lot of other people do, but as i see more and more of it, the more offensive and disrespectful it is getting and nobody is doing a single thing about it. So, yes, it is that deep and If you say you respect all cultures, yet find yourself doing these things, then you aren’t really the person you thought you were.

My culture isn’t a joke, isn’t a costume, is not something to be altered or changed to your satisfaction and it is not something to show off your wealth, so please stop and let us have it back as something to be proud of.

Share this around if you can 🤍

That was a long rant but it was needed, so, if you made it all the way to here, thank you for reading it :))

just to clarify, as always, i do not hate English people or American people and I don’t completely hate the monarchy, I am just using them as examples, as they are the ones I’ve seen most doing the things that i mentioned :)))))

[verbophobic]

Fic I'm interested in continuing/Working on

COD: Simon/Ghost X OFC It willl be a series of drabbles, starting with Simon on his apartment balcony smoking on xmas eve. He's obviously spending it alone (his team is with their families, Price probably working) and OC goes to her balcony for fresh air, she had cooked and invited friends and fam over but no one showed so she ahs entirely too much food and is a bit lonely. Seeing Ghost she impulsively invites him over to eat with her and he says yes simply becuase she looks miserable. This is what starts an awkward friendship.

BG3: Option 1 my OC's Tav and Drae and their romance story. Drae's an orphaned Drow living in Baldurs Gate and a sorcerers apprentance. But the discrimiation due to her race makes her chose to leave the city and adventure/go in search for something. She doesn't know what but she canta stand the city any longer. Tav is a barbarian in line to become the next leader of his community and a larger than usual Teiflling, many think his bloodline is closer to demonic than other tieflings due to his size. The two end up meeting when Drae is ambushed by goblins and is seriously hurt. Tav is near by and ends up saving her.

Option 2 is Halsin X Drow OC. Sabrae is a drow who came to topside to escape something *spoilers so not gonna list it here*. In being topside she is met with bigotry and racism. To the point she is seriously injured. She decides from then on to never reveal her race to anyone. 2 possible options from here for the fic

She is captured by goblins and looses her disguise. Being seena s a drow she is released but can't just leave so she pretends to be part of the camp. When she ahs an opportunity to escape she learns of the drow that's held captive in the camp so she convinces Minthara to let her 'interrigate' him and uses magic to look like an elf again and goes to see Halsin. He refuses to leave without kiling the camp and she can not help him. But that's when Tav and gang show up and then it follows loosely the game.

She was on the nautaloid when it crashed. She disguises herself as an elf to make sure none of her companions know what she is, though they ahve suspiscions about her hiding something few know what it is. SHe helps to save Halsin and as such they become friends. It's not long before she has feelings for him but she choses instead to attack him with her words to try and push him away. She knows he dislikes Drow and is scared to be hurt by being turned down when he elarns the truth.

Zelda: SidonxOC There's already an insanely long fic for this. To help his people, Sidon begrudgingly agrees to a marriage with a Hylian. All he wants is a woman who can rule at his side, someone that he may one day grow fond of like his sister Mipha had with Champion L-something-or-other. What he does not expect is Kino. A girl who seems almost clueless to the difficulties of the Zoran domain but whose heart will not let her stand by and just watch them struggle. As he learns more about her he finds himself growing fonder and he finds himself wondering, 'just who is this woman that wormed her nervous little way past his tightly guarded walls?' 

TMNT: RaphXOC Raphael met a woman by coincidence, if you could call a hydroplaning car coincidence that it. But all the meeting for the next month and a half after that? Coincidence. Mostly. Raph would see this walking talking beacon of bad luck, and help her from the shadows. Until he didn’t. Until he stepped into the light and she was relieved he was a mutant turtle and not a mugger of New York City. Plus he was offering the poor half drowned woman an umbrella to help her starve off the rain. Now though? Now it’s just a clusterfuck of trying to figure out how her apartment ended up burning down. Raph/OC oneshots. 

Lost Boys: David X OC She was just another Plain Jane among a sea of them. In Santa Carla where everyone tried to stand out, those with the barest of differences are the most memorable. So a girl that's working behind a counter in yet another convenience store that looks like just another 'normie' was no one memorable. Dead end job for what seems like forever, no family so to speak of, and an ex who just can't fully let go; that was all just another boring day in a sea of eternal days to her. The most abnormal she'd ever seen up until a single fateful day was the cat that would somehow sneak into the store and just sit on the counter with her some nights. Until those boys came in like ghosts. She never knew how that triggered the events and she didn't care, all she cared about was the guy trying to rob her.

Little Vampire: Gregory X OC Rory Murry is a normal teenage. Unfortunately her divorced parents have decided to change their custody agreement and she is forced to move away from the 'big city' to the rural town she had first grown up in. Her memories of back then are blurry due to the young age she left and the few traumatizing events that happened directly prior to leaving. Such as said parental divorce. A teenager that she meets in a graveyard does tug at a few strings of memory though and she is left curious as to just who he is and why he's always hanging out in a graveyard late at night. Her own reasoning for being there? She's not the brightest there is and a tiny bit lonely in this 'new' town. Also- why is there a creepy old guy in a wanna-be ice cream truck haunting this place?

So go ahead and Vote!

[dairy-farmer]

Would you write yanderes? Cuz this tweet is so good https://twitter.com/allthefisheswim/status/1576813438776418304?s=46&t=yw5nhdMszUvn-mLnNRlA7w

Like imagine Tim not really wanting to go away from Gotham, but feels like he’s not welcomed there anymore but Bruce is like baby come back, I’d do anything for you to stay, do you want me to punish Dick?? Will that make you stay? And Tim is like no (but maybe?? Idk sometimes im into a bit of tim being a lil mean, your choice tbh)

yandere's for me exist on a bit of a sliding scale. the portrayal i often see is the 'hyper obsessed murdering psychopath who doesn't think and acts purely on animalistic and reactive instinct'. nearly 100% they get too emotional and end up outing themselves or getting caught even though very often they present themselves as being very good at 'masking'. they can fit in very well and even get close to the object of their obsession without arousing suspicion.

BUT bruce is a creature of obsession but in a very different way. he's possessive, constantly monitoring or directing someone to act or behave in a manner they want and punishing them if they fall short of that expectation. at least that's what i see in more dark fic au's.

still when it comes to obsession i really don't think bruce would get caught. he wouldn't do things that could or would be traced back to him becuase he truly is too smart for that.

so when tim starts making noise about wanting to move out of gotham? to be independent because he thinks that there's nothing keeping him there? he wants to leave bruce? abandon bruce even though he'd sworn to stay by his side and remain with him?

bruce would sabotage those attempts. the movers tim wanted to use are all booked up. no moving company will rent a truck to a teenager. land lords reject him left and right. also tim's money? the one managed by bruce? gone. bruce invested it for him remember? there's no liquid funds available for tim to move anywhere outside of gotham.

but that's alright tim can stay with bruce, at the manor or at any of the apartments bugged and hookep up with microphones.

and even if bruce can't see or hear him. bruce injected him with a tracker years ago. under the skin at the back of his neck and completely undetectable.

there's nowhere tim can go where bruce can't find him but that's not the point.

tim needs to want to stay by him. tim needs to nuzzle up close to bruce and press kisses to his cheek like he used to.

after the time stream tim is distant. he hardly calls, hardly visits. and he's making plans to move out, to leave gotham and bruce.

and bruce...like many yanderes when they get confronted with the possibility of losing the object of their affect he...he does something impulsive. something bad. something that hurts someone.

he tells tim that dick was attacked from behind. some goon got the drop on him and pushed him off the side of building.

dick is alive. but he's in a small coma because of the swelling in his brain, he broke several ribs from hitting a fire escape on the way down, and both legs from landing wrong.

dick is on bedrest. likely will be for months.

bruce knows that despite their differences and the distant nature after he came back, tim will come back for this.

he's right.

tim rushes back to be by dick's side. to be there when he wakes up pained and confused.

and bruce figures it out. he knows the thing that will keep tim in the manor and by bruce's side.

it's someone else getting horribly sick, possibly poisoned, from someone slipping and breaking a bone or getting terribly sick after falling into the river.

bruce doesn't set out to kill anyone or hurt them permanently.

but...he just needs them to be in a bad enough state that tim will return, that he'll patrol with bruce since everyone is out of commisssion.

it works.

that's all that matter is that it works and tim is back in his arms, whispering words of comfort and saying he'll move in so he can help bruce and alfred around the house.

[eddieslittlefreak]

midnights songs as steddie headcanons pt.2

note: here is part 2 of my previous post and i adore writing this stuff. maybe i should make this as a serious just with other album songs. for example the whole reputation album could be them

Mastermind: Eddie is in school for a long time now as we know, because he always fails some classes. But it’s more than obvious he isn’t stupid, this shit just doesn’t interest him. So when Steve gets to know him a little better, he is more than amazed. At first it takes him like a bullet, when he sees Eddie playing the guitar and doing the most epic solos ever. He knew he has a band, but he definitely didn’t know that he was this talented. Eddie learns some of Steve’s favorite songs and thanks to this, he gets better at playing on  acoustic guitar as well. The next thing is D&D. It’s a nerdy game, Steve thought for a long-long time, but he knew nothing about the process of making a campaign. It literally shocks him how Eddie can sit for hours on the side of his bed, tongue poking out in concentration as he plans the campaign for Hellfire club. And Steve feels like he can’t even blink as he watches him and listens to the little things he murmurs to himself. How he builds up a whole story, and connecting every tiny dot to make sense. Steve gets a headache just from hearing that much information and somehow Eddie effortlessly manages to keep everything in mind, and even randomly adds things. Eddie never had anyone to play with as kid, so he sat in his room and planned his whole life. Maybe that’s why it wasn’t an accident that Steve and him became that close as they are. He had all the time in the world to make up stories and try to teach himself how to read or write, using all of his energy. He was still called stupid and a weirdo, but he never cared. He knew what’s in him and that’s all that mattered to him. Eddie has loads of special interests and he uses these to figure out things. For example, in a difficult situation he acts like he is in one of his favorite novels as one of the characters who needs to solve the situation. From him, the biggest compliment is if he says you remind him of one of these interests. That’s when all of this hits Steve, when Eddie says he reminded him of Ozzy. Ever since then Steve wants to study every little thing about Eddie and wants to know everything that happens in that wonderful mind of his.

Anti-Hero (Eddie’s Version): Eddie took shit from others in all of his life. He was just watching everyone going so good in life, while in every moment he felt like he is losing his mind. So he got used to it. But truly he never escaped that dark corner of his mind where sometimes he sank back to. He seemed fine, but just like everyone does, he has a breaking point, too. His breaking point is cracking slowly as things starting to take a drastic turn after Chrissy’s death. Not even his own mind is safe anymore. All he can think about is how he ran away, how he could do nothing to save her. He had some self-image issues before, but now his demons seem to tear him apart. Then Steve appears. He remembers him, of course he does. His friends used to bully him, but Steve is nothing like he was back then. He is a hero, actually. At least Eddie thinks this and suddenly around Steve he feels a bit better. It’s like he quiets everything in his head. And then there they are, Steve telling them not to be heroes. Eddie was never a hero, he was too coward to be one. It hurts him, making him feel like a hundred daggers are stabbing him in every moment, but he knows it’s true. Unless.. it’s not anymore. Dustin screams after him, but he just stares into the darkness of the trailer, hearing how the demobats will break the door in a minute and he just can’t leave. He can’t runaway again, his body just won’t move. He swallows and goes back, becuase so far everyone - including him - was rooting for an anti-hero. And now he wanna become someone who worths the effort. He goes back.. (let me just finish it here, it hurted to write this </3 ) Another scenarios is that when Eddie and Steve start dating, Eddie feels like re is ruining everything for Steve. That he is the problem, no matter how hard Steve tries to convince him othervise. This is his biggest insecurity that sometimes shows up with a heart stopping wave of strenght. Steve can’t even imagine what could have Eddie gone through that makes him think such a thing. And it’s so rare, when Eddie showes this concern of his, but when he does, just goes silent for minutes between sentences, where Steve just pulls him closer, massaging the back of his neck, whispering; you aren’t the problem. People are shitty, yeah? You don’t ruin anything. - And less to say, it takes Eddie a bit of a time to actually process and take this.

Bigger Than The Whole Sky (another angst, don’t worry, Sweet Nothing is coming up right after for some comfort): This happens, if Steve was there with Eddie at the end. Steve falls onto his knees next to Eddie. He doesn’t even know how to touch him without hurting him even more, so he tries to be so gentle. He talks so fast, his tongue trips on the words, because he wants Eddie to know everything before he’s gone. And gosh, Steve is crying. He can barely see Eddie’s pain colored face, because of his tears are making his vision blurry. He’s just holding into Eddie’s ripped clothes, murmuring the words to him, while Eddie is weakly smiling. Gosh, he still adores Steve. The weight of this situation doesn’t change a single thing. “Steve?” he speaks, voice small. “Yeah, Eddie?” Steve sobs, trying to keep the remaining of himself together. “I’m sorry I wasn’t brave enough to tell you, that I liked you. That I liked the cool Steve Harrington.” he weakly chuckles, his lungs giving up. And Steve wants to talk, he wants to tell Eddie that everything is gonna be fine and maybe they could go out sometimes when they get back. That he will get to the hospital and he will be fine in a few weeks. But he knows. “You were the breavest today, Eddie.” he says instead, not ready to say goodbye. His throat burning because he has a lot more to say and suddenly he wanna tells everything in the world’s all and every languages, but he knows he doesn’t have much time left. For him, Eddie became more than just a short time, and the grief is gonna be even longer. Steve’s days after are black and white. He is just a shadow of himself for a while. He can’t stop wondering about what could have happened if he gets to know more Eddie a bit sooner. If he wasn’t that much of an asshole in high school. His emotions are bigger than the whole sky and stronger than a forest fire. Sometimes he stands in front of his mirror, staring at his scars on his torso, knowing very well that these wounds killed Eddie. He bites his lip and closes his eyes.  He thinks that it’s should have been him and not Eddie.

Sweet Nothing (imagine i’m putting a bandage on our stab wounds now): Okay so after a while, Eddie and Steve gets an apartmant together in a big big city. They are both excited because everything is so new. It’s the fascination of getting lost in these things. How they’re starting to have a routine for every day. How they start to know their house better and better, their stuff and love everywhere, turning the whole place into a home. They get jobs and a cat which Eddie names something absolutely ridicilous. Steve gets to choose the channel on every Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday, but in the car he can always play his music. When they get home from shopping on Fridays, Eddie needs to take out the key from Steve’s pocket, because Steve’s hands are full with bags and stuff they don’t even need, but it’s cool so Eddie needed to buy it. Steve’s favorites are the Saturday nights when he lies next to Eddie while he writes new songs, trying to get into the music industry. He even starts to play on the streets and people seem to really like him. Eddie paints their bedroom wall and he is allowed to draw on it, making literal artworks, so when he isn’t there, Steve can’t help but stare at them. They even have a little balcony where Eddie has plants. He never knew he would be into gardening, but he adores petting the little leaves and watering them every morning. They drink their coffees here as well, and their favorites are the colder summer mornings, looking down at the city waking up and getting filled with noise. Their favorite restaurant is around the corner where they spend their anniversary every year. They get to know loads of new people, but how could they forget about their good old friends? In every six months, everyone comes over to a sleeping party at their places, so there are people everywhere. Sleeping on the couch, the floor, a matress, wherever they can. It makes them feel like they are back in Hawkins and they are just young, careless teens.  And when Eddie can’t sleep because sometimes, really rarely he still have some nightmares (Steve overcame this luckily), Steve rocks him in their bed, maybe making him some midnight snacks or going out to the balcony. They have a small swing bed there where Eddie can sit close to Steve while Steve tells him about their future and how many things are still ahead of them that they need to try. So eventually, when Steve finishes talking, all he can hear is Eddie’s little snores and him dreaming about the stuff he talked about to him.

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

That was a serious ask. I really do want a Harry Potter book ban. You didn’t hurt my feelings, I’m agreeing with you and I really think more should be done to destroy this menace

Also I was serious about wanting JKR dead. I fantasize about her death and all the ways it could happen. Please believe me. I’ve never even read the books.

Same anon, honestly I just want people not to suffer anymore and if a book ban and that tonsil stone of a human dying is the way to do it, I wish nothing more. Just please believe that I’m not a troll. I just wish more could be done and that children could be safe from accidentally consuming TERF media. That’s why I want it banned. I could give less of a shit about adults still clinging to their stupid nostalgia but these books are being ACTIVELY SOLD IN STORES. I’m so scared, so fucking scared.

Also, I want you to be happy. I just want everyone to be happy, please have a wonderful day/night and may all your problems go away, i’m sorry, you deserve so much happiness…

Please believe me. I want nothing more than for all marginalized people to be happy and for bigots to suffer. It wasn’t bait. I just know you think the same and I want other people to think the same. I just want us to go even HARDER when it comes to punishing those who are wronging us and to protect the innocent children. I want it so much I’m killing my mental health sending these asks which is why I’m leaving right now. Please have a wonderful day where all your problems get solved i’m sorry,,

Alright I'm going to take this in good faith now because you're clearly distressed, regardless of your intentions or how much I believe them.

Anon, listen: Get help.

This is not a joke nor a patronizing request nor me dismissing you. I am 100% fully serious that no matter what's going on in your head right now, it's clearly hurting you and upsetting you and it's not healthy. I would honestly be relieved if you were a troll because if you're not, this is an indication that you're in actual mental distress. Please log off, and again, not saying this in a sarcastic way, but like, go outside and sit on a bench in a park and just look at some birds or something.

JKR and other evils of the world won't croak just becuase you're on here sending a rando distressed anonymous mail. All that will happen is that you're gonna feel worse, because you're expending so much energy and nothing's happening, nothing's changing, but why is nothing changing if I'm trying to hard?

But I can't help you. I can't kill JKR for you. I can't protect anyone, either. All I can do right now is express my frustration, refuse to partake, and demand that people do better. That's all any of us can do. But we crucially need to support each other, and take care of each other, those of us who are hurting and afraid right now. If we have nobody, then we need to take care of ourselves. That's our duty and our goal, to live our best lives and to survive, because folding and dying is exactly what those who want us gone are hoping for.

So. Log off. Look at some trees. Pet a dog. Donate money somewhere. Feel present in this world and that your existence matters. The world sucks but your life doesn't always have to. And since you're clearly looking for some sort of validation, no matter where it comes from, here it is: Yes, I see you. I know you exist, and that you're out there, and we're both here at the same time on this planet earth. We are here together even if we are apart. We have had this interaction now. May you have many more with others whose company you enjoy.

Take care.

[truearchangel]

Michael has two very glaring flaws: his desire to want to understand everything, and his need to protect everyone around him.

The first he attempts to crush down as hard as he can, becuase he knows he can’t question the way things are in Heaven. They have a saying up there for a reason; if you start to question things, you’ll fall as Lucifer did. But he’s always been a rational and curious thinker and when his perfect little box is poked, his kind can’t stop and he wants to find the answers. He wants to break things apart to their fundamental level and try to rationalize and reason the way that they are. This makes his little glass house incredibly easy to shatter, though it also makes him difficult to manipulate.

Michael’s greatest fear is not to falling as Lucifer did, but no longer being in Heaven to protect their remaining siblings up there or another one of them falling to Hell’s corruption. He has his claws sunken so hard into the clouds that he bares most of the responsibilities for what goes on up there, to the point he never has a moment of peace or a chance to relax. Something that is also by his own design intentionally. You can’t hurt if you’re to busy to even think or breathe.

Surprisingly, he knows and enjoys the fact he’s over protective of the other Archangels. Them? Not so much. Michael is often referred to as cold, uncaring, overbearing, demanding, and controlling. He’s constantly on them to handle their own responsibilities, to do their paperwork on time and to not question the things they don’t need to. However, he doesn’t expect anything from them that he doesn’t expect from himself.

He has to be perfect, he can’t fail a second time. The price to pay is to heavy.

[ruminate88]

Taking The Easy Way Out In Life But Actually Living Harder:

The more you fight against growing pains, the more painful they’ll be! You’ve got to experience them and learn from them!!! I was born with a couple small complications and I couldn’t leave the hospital right away. I had a slow start in life. By the time I’m old enough for school, I’m not quite mature enough and my kindergarten teacher thought I should repeat that grade but my dad was full on against it. I was pushed on but wasn’t ready for 1st grade. Whenever 1st grade came, I hated it! I cried every morning begging not to go… That was when I met my best friend Lori who also struggled like me and we bonded instantly. It was never “love”, it was codependency. As I tried to grow up, I needed to lose Lori becuase she was only holding me back… She would never hear me out and eventually I just cut her out of my life but that sucked for me. Depression shortly followed after that.

I was always looking for “short cuts” in life but yet always ended up making life harder for myself. When I became homeschooled, I thought it would be easier than school but it wasn’t. I watched so many people graduate before me and get their diploma.(I felt like a complete loser) I had been taking care of everyone else around me and avoiding myself. I did get my GED before I turned 20 but it didn’t make me feel smart… By 25, I was focused on the kids I was raising and focused on my brother’s needs. Put myself away cuz I didn’t even know me or like me. 🥺 Always looking for an escape. Drowned myself in pornography and music. I wasn’t attracted to drugs and it’s a good thing too. (I would’ve been a complete addict)

I was in the darkest moments of my life. Learned how to be numb. Don’t feel the pain of life. Life is soooo hard yet I just want to find a short cut. I lived in depression and always used “I’m gonna hurt myself” hoping for people to not leave me but they always did. After my last toxic relationship, I’m FINALLY facing myself and it’s a total nightmare. I’ve neglected myself so long, tried to lean on other people for happiness. Tried to take shortcuts in life but by neglecting myself, I’ve made myself suffer way harder than anyone should have to. I met my husband directly after Andrew and he helps me learn to drive a car. Then we get married. Now marriage is hard work!!! Having to drive to the grocery store, carry it all inside the house, cook the food, clean up the house, be a faithful wife, save money, plan kids, be a good daughter in law, be a good friend, still show up for my parents. It’s all different now!!!!! It’s not easy!!!!

Suddenly my body falls apart within a few years of marriage. I realize I’ve lost hair, I got super sick and lost a lot of weight, I’m tired all the freakin time, I have mood swings, I am either burning up or freezing!!! Bumping into stuff like crazy and constantly having bruises randomly all over me that I can’t explain. I even fell last Christmas off a ladder putting up Christmas lights cuz I’m not stable 🥴 All the impact of being emotionally abused, finally caught up to me!!! There’s NO shortcuts to healing for it all either. I’m constantly triggered by my husband and there isn’t a thing he can do about it. It’s all me. I’m having to finally grow up and take care of myself!! No one can do it for me…

You can try to take short cuts in life but you end up on a long and crazy road. Somehow, I think everything I’ve went through will actually make me stronger but did it really have to all be this way???? My home school journey, just seemed like it was meant to be although I do feel I tried to cheat myself out of so many things. Why did I self sabotage so much????

Don’t run from who you are, face yourself and work on yourself! Don’t put it off any longer!!! You want a good life?? Gotta put in the time and effort. 🥺💪🏻

[diariesofapisces]

Last Night

Things have actually gotten better. I enjoy my alone time and am putting everything into my creativity. I just spent hours and sometimes would spend all night making things. I smoke a little weed and play some music and let me do the rest. I did make pretty much all of my magazine sober. It helped me stay sober. I am repairing my relationships with people by lowering my standards for them and raising them for myself. Instead of solely focusing on my own problems and getting in my head, I've been trying to truly connect to others. I realized my mental illness and low self-esteem made it hard to have real human connections. As I've worked on myself my friendships have blossomed and I love where they are today. I don't have friends becuase I want to fill an empty void. I realized I never got to know him as a friend. I only saw him as someone I was trying to pursue. I only thought about what he would think about me I didn't really bother to truly know him. I would overanalyze and rip apart everything he did or said to manipulate it to feed my delusion. Kinda intense but I totally see it now. None of this shit would have happened if I was satisfied with his friendship and myself. I wasn't and I tried to use him to fill a void he couldn't fill. It's been hard for me to accept we are just friends but last night helped me see that he could be a good friend. We are just reflections of each other. Like some twin flame shit. We are both depressed becuase we hate ourselves. I hate myself because of how my environment makes me feel not becuase of myself. He has a great environment but can't enjoy it becuase he hates himself. This is what I look like. People could wonder why you think you aren't cool or look interesting, that deep down you'll always be just some Mormon girl, that you think you are a burden and super annoying, that you hate the way you talk, and you hate your side profile, and you think you're fat and you think you don't have friends, and you think that everyone hates you. It's all in your head. I look at him and I can fathom why he's depressed and truly how much he hates himself. Life is so much cooler when you stop caring what people think. He has a great relationship with his parents and I don't. His relationship with his sister is similar to mine and my brother's. We are the same height, we are both Jewish, we have the same initials, and we both love music and have weed addictions. We both have major relationship problems. I am so lucky to have a male friend who actually listens to me and doesn't want anything else from me. I don't if he hangs out becuase he wants to or just to have something to do. I do the same thing but to a certain extent. I can ramble all day and I probably will, but I am just happy that I can actually be friends with him. It is best for all involved because we are both not ready for a relationship. Also, I've seen him six times over the past four weeks.

[gccdstories]

It's not like she was blind, or even that Narcissus was subtle about it. He wasn't and for awhile she tried to spite him. She didn't want to hurt him but who knew at 13 what they wanted? Or at 11? Becuase hadn't she kissed him then?

Still the males didn't matter and she barely stayed with any of them longer than a few days. Truthfully, by the first couple hours she was bored.

They were either intimidated by her (which they should be) or so overly cocky she wanted to punch them.

As if they magically could cure the ice wall around her.

She despised that Narcissus could if wanted to - and she'd let him. She'd let him do more than probably anyone else.

It wasn't like either of them denied the energy between them. Sometimes she felt bad, but then he could always so no.

She wasn't sure why it didn't disgust her, that he'd take whatever crumbs she gave him and be thrilled.

For the longest time she maintained it was because they grew up together. She couldn't remember any memories without Narcissus in them anyway. He was always there, always a focal point.

After they graduated they'd been stationed separately, sure they still saw each other. Holidays, events things like that but it wasn't enough to do more than small talk.

She despised small talk.

But now they were stationed together, for six months they'd be together all day and night.

She hadn't liked the twinge of jealousy when he'd talked to one of the other female officers. How he'd smiled and laughed, how he hadn't brushed her hand off his arm.

It was ridiculous, clearly whatever it was had stopped after they'd been apart - just like she thought.

But then he'd noticed her and smiled, still one of those lazy smiles but the look - the look hadn't changed from years ago.

He walked toward her, pulling her into a quick hug. She let him. She wasn't entirely sure why.

He stepped back and winked.

"Are you excited? We get to be stationed together for six months Amies."

"I was till you winked at me. You looked like you had something in your eye and don't call me that."

He rolled his eyes, and stuck his tongue at her.

"I'll call you what I want Amarantha."

But he smiled, and brushed past her to get settled in.

Maybe she should have waited day, or even more than a few hours. But everyone had turned in for the night and she felt like ants were under her skin.

She knew where his rooms were and right now didn't care about the fraternization rules. She slipped inside, he was writing a letter, probably to his parents.

"How do you know?"

He didn't respond, she gripped the door handle.

"Narcissus -"

"I heard you, you have a distinct way of opening the door. Just let me finish this -"

"How do you know you love me?"

He still didn't look up to her. Finally, he set his pen down and looked up at her. There was a gleam there she couldn't decipher. But then he smiled, and it clicked - satisfaction.

"Where would you like me to begin Amarantha?"

No. She wouldn't budge. She wouldn't let the -- that can't be jealousy -- get to her. If he wanted to fuck another, what did it matter to her? She'd taken her own partners, that was fine. They weren't exclusive to each other...

And she didn't want to be... did she?

So maybe she should have waited longer. Maybe she should have let him settle and just taken another male to bed, to get the edge off. Being here, in his room, asking him that--

What on earth was she even thinking?!

Amarantha glared, and shook her head as she turned to the door again. ❝ You know what? Forget I said anything. This was a mistake anyway-- ❞

@siderealxmelody

[rgartblog]

Where is Ryo?

I keep meaning to answer this and I keep stupidly forgetting...

so in the fanfic world that these arts come from, mainly the POTS universe, Cye is doing his best to hide this from everyone.

Sage and Rowen just happened upon it while meeting him for lunch and they volunteered themselves to help (much to his despair). Now he's stuck with them (literally) being there all the time. There is no way that the two of them are going to leave Cye alone while he's fainting and basically falling apart.

Kento was in China visiting his family at the time, so he comes in later once he's back. However, he is the one who begged Sage and Rowen to check up on Cye since Cye was acting weird on him. Cye was going to go to China with him and backed out from not feeling well.

Cye refuses to tell Ryo not wanting him to be worried that it's the White Armor. He doesn't want Ryo to go into another depression spiral like he did with his swords and poor White Blaze. So Cye is adamant that Ryo know NOTHING until he absolutely has to.

Of course everyone like "TELL HIM" but he just won't.

It all comes to a head either at Ryo's BD or (like in my original idea) when they travel to NY. I mean being stuck on a plane with Kento and Ryo for almost 30 hours... Ryo isn't stupid. He's going to see something is going on. Ryo gets an idea that something is up during his birthday but he just slides it to the side of Cye being a bit tipsy.

So all of these arts are from BEFORE Ryo finds out! :D I'm scrolling through for art references and once I find a good Ryo one, I'll draw him.

I am looking to rewrite or do a "spinoff" where Ryo does find out earlier. It's always been my headcanon that after Talpa is over and done with, he lives with Mia.

If that's the case, when Mia finds out (becuase Sage tells her about Cye immediately needing her help) Ryo would find out. You can't hide that very easily...

But yes. That's why there is no Ryo art currently. :)

[reginasrandomthoughts]

In one of the last (the last?) episodes of The Haunting of Hill House Hugh (the father) is trying to convince Olivia (the mother) to release their children from Hill House becuase the house is slowly killing them in the red room.

The crux of their argument is really a philosophical debate about whether it is worth being alive.

Olivia, mind warped by the house, is arguing that she is just trying to keep her children safe in their forever house. That if they leave, the world is just going to hurt them bc look what it already did to them (e.g. Luke's drug addiction). She argues that this way nothing bad can happen to them ever again

Hugh, who witnessed how their children's lives fell apart counter's with "but nothing good can happem to them either". He saw the difficulties and the pain his children experienced but he also witnessed their joy, like Nell's wedding (i really love how he phrases it so much I will not even attempt to butcher it here by quoting from memory)

Anyways, I think that this is pretty much what suicide is about. Weighing whether the chance of future joys is worth weathering the pains of the present. Whether the joy and happiness you could potentially experience outweighs the hardships and suffering you are expetiencing.

Fundamentally, I think suicide is about faith. Not in any god or higher power, but in a better future.

When the present state of things become so unbearable that death sounds like a solid way out, I think what can make the biggest difference is not only whether someone can believe that there is another way out, but whether they can believe they have the strength to walk down that road AND to keep walking on it even when nothing seems to be getting better.

Once suicidal ideation gets a hold of someone every week, day, hour or even minute can become a new test of faith and sometimes, a single failure is all it takes to lose someone. For every single time someone needs to be talked off the ledge by a concerned loved one have managed to talk themselves off the same ledge probably over a dozens of times.

The sad nature of the thing is that by the time people are alrted that someone is fighting for their lives, they are probably already losing. Sometimes they can get help in time but sometimes they get pulled under.

Still, I think about "but nothing good can happen to them either" a lot. When sometimes every single hour can ask "is it still worth being here" I think the answer cannot be this grand over arching castle of happiness, but all those tiny moments that can happen in a week, a day, an hour.

I really hope that everyone who gets caught in thst viscious fight can find something like that line in The Haunting of Hill House, something to keep them "sane" and out of the downward spire. We lose so many people every day without even knowing it, but I have to believe that even more are saved every hour and that they will keep being saved until they won't have to fight that hard.