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#But. I stayed up all night last night - slept 3 hours. That's all. Still felt like a day but it's not as long as it would have been.
wonijinjin · 8 months
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in sickness and in health
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author’s note: please take care of yourselves everyone! being sick is not fun. dedicating this to my dear @babyleostuff <3
synopsis: when you get food poisoning cheol is ready to sacrifice his night to take care of you.
word count: 1.0k | genre: fluff, comfort | pairing: cheol x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of throwing up, being sick, fever, exhaustion, bad mental health
it was around 12am when you realised something was wrong; you never really got sick, but you could feel it coming before it even happened; head pounding and shivers crawling up and down your spine, making you anxious. after a bit of panicking about why you felt this bad you calmed yourself down and went back to scrolling through social media on your phone, scared of waking and troubling the man next to you. seungcheol was already asleep by that time, being extremely tired from working since 3am, having been to several music show recordings and dance practices. you found him so peaceful as he slept and you were so glad to see him rest after many days of hard work. however as the minutes went by while looking at your phone you could sense an increasing nauseating feeling in your stomach, not being able to focus on the blogpost you were reading anymore, being too occupied with trying to make it stop and squirming under the blankets of your cozy king sized bed to make it more bearable. as if on cue to the peak of your struggles cheol stirred in his sleep next to your helpessly thrashing form, turning to you, his sleepy frame trying to process the cause of your distress. “what’s wrong, my love?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. “don’t worry, nothing. go back to sleep.” you tried to sound as convincing as you could. he didn’t buy it. “love, i know something is up. tell me, please?” he begged, more alert when he saw how your protests were interrupted by a weak sob. “i think i am gonna throw up cheol.” you mumbled with a terrified look on your face, trying to stay perfectly still so your upset stomach could get some relief. seungcheol first thought that you were trying to pull a prank on him since you never got sick, but when he looked at your features closer he realised how pale you looked, and how sweat was glistening on your skin. “you sure? like right now?” he sat up in no time as the question left his mouth, ready to take you to the bathroom to let out whatever was making you feel so miserable. you didn’t have time to answer him whatsoever as you bolted towards the mentioned room, getting to the toilet just in time for the agonising pain and suffering of the next few hours to begin. in your hurry you had a hopeless attempt to lock the door in order to shut cheol out; you hated if he saw you in any other state than your most perfect one, if he saw your imperfections, how you felt unwell sometimes or how you struggled with life from time to time. he always scolded you for thinking this way, but you couldn’t stop it; you wanted to be his strong partner, someone who he could rely on whenever he needed to. “i am coming in.” you heard him say and suddenly you felt a warm hand on your back and another one taking your hair out of your sweaty face, snapping you out of your feverish daze. “i am here, you are okay, love. breathe for me please. that’s it, good. let it all out. don’t worry i am here.” you could hear cheol’s voice through your eardums, blood pumping in your veins with much more speed than ever. seungcheol held you close to him as you spat in the bowl one last time, making sure you were really done before placing you on his lap, your knees no longer hitting the cold tiles of the bathroom, only feeling his warmth surrounding you. “my poor baby.” his voice was low and hurt while he kissed your forehead, frowning upon sensing how your skin burned under his touch. “you are burning up. you definitely have a fever my dear.“ he announced, but you could barely register his voice and words; you were utterly drained, barely able to keep your head up straight.
cheol of course took note of this, gently guiding you to lean into him even more while he got comfortable on the floor, cradling you into his chest. “i know you don’t feel good my love. do you know how did this happen?” he wondered with concern laced in his words. you slightly shifted in his arms, looking up at him. “i think i might have food poisoning, cheol.” he cooed at you, kissing the top of your head, rocking you from side to side as you whimpered in pain. “it’s okay love. it will be over soon i promise.” he chanted softly in an attempt to calm you down as exhaustion took over you, the high temperature making you shake with chills no matter how close seungcheol kept your body to his. “love, you with me?” he questioned after a few minutes of silence, but didn’t get a reply; you fell asleep fast, totally knocked out from the sudden wave of late night sickness. he was relieved to see that your immune system was trying to get that much needed sleep to heal, although he was concerned about the effects of not taking medication before your slumber; he didn’t have the heart to wake you so he let you rest anyways.
he never stopped holding you through the night, not even when he moved you to the bedroom and got a cold towel to put on your head, moving a trash can beside your bed just in case, or when he stayed up all night to watch over your distressed form, wishing that you would get better by the morning, kissing your cheek from time to time to let you know that he was there, that he was gonna take care of you no matter what.
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idioticbat · 5 months
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Idk how to write this, but I got caught in the south Brazil floods. My partner and I have been homeless since last Saturday, we've stayed until this Thursday at a shelter, but things were getting worse and worse, and my partner's company paid a hotel stay in another town till the next week or two.
Thursday/Friday on the week before the last (may 2nd and 3rd) we were housing two friends, who were already homeless due to the flood which had just started. They're also both trans and have no family to support them.
Friday morning the power went out and our friends left for a shelter. In the evening, my partner and i went for a walk to check how bad things were, and it was already flooding a mere 3 and a half blocks from our house. On the time it took for us to walk across that block, the water was already covering our feet.
We rushed back home and the street in front of where we live was starting to get covered in water. We carried everything we could to the attic, mostly my art stuff, computer, etc. We originally planned to stay home and survive a couple days until it got better. I barely slept that night because I knew the water was coming, so my brain was on maximum alert. I woke up after 3 hours of sleep, from a dream that I was trying to escape the flood.
When I woke up, we organized a bit more and ate lunch for breakfast. On the time it took for us to eat, the water was already at our doorstep, and we rushed to pack. I had a panic attack as the water rushed into our house, and a police officer rescued us and carried our bags inside a barrel. I only got a few clothes, medication for two weeks, basic hygiene stuff, plushies and some food. My partner got clothes and their laptop. I regret not picking my computer.
We had to swim and waddle through 1.60m+ (5'3") deep water for two blocks. On some places it was probably close to 2m. It felt like an eternity passed while we found our way through the cold water. Some neighbours who were also helping us recommended us a place for shelter. After we crossed a bridge, some person gave us a ride, so at least we didn't have to walk 3km to the shelter.
We got there really early on Saturday, the university which was one of the places being used as a shelter had just opened, so we were able to shower and eat. They also gave us new clothes. As it got more packed, we got help from volunteer psychologists, who gave us a separate room in another floor, since both my partner and I have autism.
I had more panic attacks but we got some help from other volunteers. Things were otherwise fine throughout Sunday and Monday, we managed to shower once more. Stuff started getting worse on Tuesday, as the place went from sheltering some 100-200 people to around 700. We were seeing the psychologists only once a day for a couple minutes and food started getting delayed for hours. Water was also scarce and we started having power outages.
Wednesday we were without food til 4pm, and since we also had pretty much lost access to the psychologists, we accepted the offer from my partner's company to take us to a hotel in another town. Thursday we left for the hotel, I showered for the first time since in four days, had lunch and finally changed my patreon password so I can post from my phone, as I do pretty much everything from my computer. Yesterday and today (friday/saturday, one week later), i finally managed to have computer access on my partner's laptop and log in to tumblr, cohost and so on.
I'm still not sure what we'll do about the future. Our place was rented and all the furniture that belonged to the house will be lost. Our landlord lives in another country and it's almost impossible to contact her. The kitchen and laundry appliances are still underwater and I guess we'll lose all of these. We can't afford to renew a house that isn't ours, and buy new appliances on top of that. We have nowhere to go that's nearby after this is over, no family, and our few friends are worse off. I'm not even sure I'll be able to recover my computer since the roof on the attic is leaky, and there'll be even more rain this weekend.
I feel absolutely crushed inside. Some people have tried to get me art supplies and I did draw a bit on a whiteboard in the classroom we were staying at in the shelter, but it's not the same thing. I can't feel any kind of inspiration knowing I might be completely homeless in two weeks, knowing the only two friends we have here might also be homeless, knowing I might have lost more than 15 years of art and music that were on my computer, that I might have lost thousands of physical drawings and so on. But I'm just trying my best to not think about any of that, so I just feel numb, occasionally I cry and feel anxious. My partner has also been trying to cheer me up since we got to the hotel, but i still feel pretty terrible. I haven't slept more than 5 hours straight in some 10 days. A lot of the time I dissociate and everything feels surreal.
I'll leave my ko-fi here in case anyone wants to donate. I also want to help our two friends with at least 100usd if possible, since they're even more vulnerable than my partner and I. If you have me on discord, please dm me instead and I'll give you my paypal address.
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hannieehaee · 9 months
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them accidentally ditching you on your bday - pu
hhu, vu, pu
part 2
content: angsty, gender neutral, established relationship, etc.
wc: 2766
a/n: tysm to the few ppl who requested this i hope u like it! pls lmk if u want a pt. 2! i decided to go on a diff direction for minghao's for further angst hehe sorry </3
masterlist
jun -
jun's absence was always a source of sadness for you. it was hard to not miss such a special person in your life, especially when his absence was so frequent due to his career.
dating an idol was difficult, but jun always made it worth it. he kept you to himself, always prioritizing you as much as he could. no day would go by in which he didnt contact you one way or another, even if it was just a quick 'i love you.'
these past two weeks had been hectic for him. going back and forth between china and korea, and even japan all at once had him in planes almost constantly. if he wasnt at a concert, he was at a fansign, and if he wasnt at a fansign, he was at some fashion event. there was no rest for a single member of seventeen during times like these. but despite that, life had smiled at jun's exhausted state for once. he had three consecutive days off; with one of them falling on your birthday.
you had insisted that using up his very rare free time on you was unnecessary. that you'd be happy to just have him home as he slept for the entirety of the three days, but he had insisted to spend the day with him. had even convinced you to cancel all other plans you may have originally had for your special day in favor of spending it with him. he had been unable to promise you anything grandiose, cringing at himself when he told you it'd just be a nice day in between the two of you. nothing made you happier than the thought, assuring him it was more than enough.
the day prior to your birthday, he had decided to go stay with his parents. he hadnt seen them in a while, and they were currently staying in jun's home in korea, so it was perfect. he was still a bit exhausted from the previous twelve days in which had received no more than four hours of sleep at a time, but he headed straight to them the moment he landed nonetheless. it was a nice evening he had with them, catching up and being fed home cooked meals by his mom. he went to sleep a bit late, but not until after facetiming you to let you know how excited he was to to spend your birthday with you. it was 1am by then, so technically it had been your birthday already. he let you go at some point, letting you know he'd be in your home by 11am sharp with a gift in hand.
the next day came sooner than expected, with jun groggily waking up, drool on his pillow showing the very deep slumber he had fallen under. he had not slept so well in months, not having allowed himself a healthy eight hours of sleep in a very long time. it was weird, though, he felt way too well rested, more than you'd expect from a regular night of sleep. upon checking the clock he realized why. it was now 2pm .. had he slept a total of twelve hours?! how exhausted had he been? it was now three hours after the time he was supposed to be meeting you. he ran to his phone to check if you'd called, only to find it dead. he had forgotten to charge it before heading to sleep. his exhaustion had truly gotten the best of him last night.
he gave it ten minutes go charge before turning it on, immediately wincing at your ten missed calls and your dejected messages wondering why he was gone, even worrying if anything had happened until finally tracking his location and realizing he had been home the whole time. you did not have his parents' number, so it had been impossible for you to contact him. by the end of the messages you'd informed him that you'd just go for a quick lunch with your friends, letting him know that it was okay if he just stayed home with his parents if he so wished. you'd only hoped he couldve kept you in mind before changing plans.
his day off could not have gotten any worse.
soonyoung -
admittedly, soonyoung could be a bit ... air-headed at times. its not that he didnt think, but more like he acted on impulse rather than logic. this would sometimes lead him to issues in various areas of his life. including your romantic relationship.
you'd been dating soonyoung for a while, already growing used to his silly antics by now. he was a silly boy, who could blame him! you found him endearing more than anything, always making you laugh and find joy in the little things. your relationship had been nothing but fun so far. not only was he entertaining to be around, but he was also a loving boyfriend and practically obsessed with you. he was affectionate to a fault, always doting on you. at some point he became a bit of an annoyance to his members, constantly showing you off to them in your absence. just like with anything else in life, when it came to you, he didnt think much. he just went based on feelings, and his feelings for you were quite strong.
this was why you were confused as to why your boyfriend was absent at this moment. the same boy who could not go five minutes away from you (whenever his job didnt get in the way, of course) without whining, had seemingly forgotten your plans for the day.
soonyoung was supposed to return from japan this morning after two weeks of absence from your shared home. you had told him it was fine if he wanted to rest instead of doing something for your birthday, which coincidentally landed today. a day in with him was more than enough, you'd assured him, but he insisted that all he needed upon his return was a quick nap with you and then he'd be ready to head out for a night out with you. except he never showed up. you waited and waited, receiving no explanation from him. you even called him multiple times, but he mustve kept his phone on airplane mode, as he never responded. you knew how easily distracted he could be, but to straight up forget to come home was too much, even for his standards.
it wasnt until five hours after his supposed arrival that you found out what had happened to him. you received a call from a very exhausted minghao, letting you know that his driver would be dropping off soonyoung at your home shortly. he and the boys had gone for a spontaneous drink after the flight, with chan having lost some sort of bet and having to buy them all drinks as punishment upon arrival. there was no mention of your birthday during the call, making you think that it had even slipped soonyoung's mind to let his members know he had previous plans.
the annoyance you were feeling was the least of your problems at the moment. you'd probably have to deal with a drunk soonyoung as soon as he and minghao arrived, having to put your feelings aside as you took care of him in order to ensure a painless hangover the next morning, yet another day in which he had to work. not only had he forgotten you, but he had prevented you from making any plans to favor spending time with him, time which would now be spent babying him until sleep took over him.
minghao -
the day had started well. you had woken up to a beautiful message from your loving boyfriend, with a few selfies attached as he told you how much he loved you and how badly he wanted to be home with you right now to celebrate your birthday. you felt truly loved upon exiting your room to find a few different bouquets of flowers, all labeled as 'from: xu minghao', your sweet boyfriend who would always give you small showcases of his affection such as this one.
he had left before you were able to wake up, having scheduled as early as 4am. he had a fashion show to attend today, along with many other previous engagements in regards to his idol life. but you were fine with it! he had promised you time and time again that he'd be home on time by 7 or 8-ish in order to have a romantic dinner with you. this had been the birthday celebration you had been looking forward to the most. you had a quick breakfast with a few friends, along with a small brunch with some family, which meant the final and most important part of your day would come last. you were extremely excited. it was a birthday dinner with the love of your life, a luxury you did not often get due to minghao's overly packed schedule.
at 6, you began to get ready, opting for a cute outfit that would have the usually composed salivating over you. at 7, you had all dinner arrangements ready. minghao had asked mingyu to drop off some dishes earlier in the day, claiming he had wanted to cook for you himself but the fashion show would leave him with no time, instead deciding to ask his best friend to do him a solid since he had been off earlier than minghao today. everything was ready by 7:30, so now all you had to do was wait.
you waited until 8, which soon became 9, only to become 10:30 and then 11 in what almost felt like minutes. you knew your boyfriend did not carry his personal phone with him during public schedules, so you didn't bother calling him, instead choosing to confirm his location with his manager, who let you know he had been driven to an after-party at around 8:30, thirty minutes after your established meeting time.
by 11:30 you had already put on your pajamas, dejectedly picking up all the dishes and saving them for another day. you weren't just disappointed, but you were sad too. he had promised you this for days, only to pick an optional schedule over you. this was very unlike him, but you still did not want to give him a pass for his carelessness.
he came back by 12, apologizing as soon as he spotted you waiting for him on the couch, only to be interrupted by you.
"minghao ... what the fuck? you say you'll be here by 8 and just ditch me for a stupid after party? is there any explanation for this or were you just trying to be a dick?", you knew you went too hard too fast, not even letting him finish his apology, but you were mad.
the venom in your voice seemed to irritate him almost immediately, causing a scary side of minghao to come out. he was never mean, per say, but he could be a bit too cold and direct sometimes. he seemed to forget his mistake immediately, instead pining the fault on you.
"y/n, im an idol. this is my job. you know its my dream to get into the fashion field. i need networking to do that. as my partner you have to understand that. its not like i didnt warn you itd be today."
"and i do understand! but all night? you could've told me. you couldve gone back on your word and i wouldve understood, but you-"
"listen. im not gonna have a conversation if you keep yelling. calm down, and when you decide to act like an adult, ill be willing to discuss this with you," it was so easy for him to dismiss you, which shocked you. he was usually so attentive.
"are you .. are you serious? are you drunk?"
"believe it or not, we're not all waiting for this day to put all our own shit aside and celebrate. i cant believe you're not being supportive. you havent even asked me how it went, i-"
"you know what? you're right. im sorry. i hope it went great, minghao. i'm gonna go to sleep now, if you dont mind. goodnight," there was truly no use in arguing. you knew him to be incredibly stubborn, and he was starting to hurt your feelings. so you marched to sleep, deciding to take the guest room instead, slamming the door shut as you finally let yourself cry at your boyfriend's lack of care.
chan -
chan was an exemplary boyfriend. he was, for lack of a better term, down tremendously bad for you. one simple look from you and he was reporting for duty, ready to do whatever you wanted. this behavior manifested in every aspect of your relationship, making him be labeled as a bit of a simp by all your mutual friends. chan did not mind this, however, being insanely into you and willing to go through all lengths to make sure you knew how loved you were by him.
your relationship was very much like a friendship, allowing the two of you to joke around and hang out as friends would, but also having all the special benefits of a committed relationship. you'd show up for each other more than anyone else, making your bond stronger than any other in your respective lives.
you had expected this to be the same case for your birthday. you hadn't mentioned it much, knowing chan was coincidentally busy during that week. you blamed him in no way for his busy schedule, always supporting his passions and even egging him on whenever he wanted to take on even more challenges (although also scolding him whenever he burnt himself out too much). but you were still somehow expected he would at least mention it.
you were surprised to wake up that day - having fallen asleep before chan's arrival home - to no type of reaction from chan. he was already awake, almost ready to leave for yet another busy day of schedules, with no single word mentioning your birthday. you knew he was insanely busy, but not even a quick 'happy birthday'? in the back of your mind you had hoped maybe he would at least bring you flowers or something upon his return the previous night, but he had clearly headed to sleep upon arrival. for someone who was usually a romantic, his lack of reaction surprised you.
deciding not to make a big deal out of it, you didn't say anything, simply bidding him goodbye with a quick kiss and an 'i love you' to match. you had the day off, but no real plans made, so you decided to just mope around the house, maybe schedule a date with one of your friends for the evening. you had kept your schedule open in the off chance than maybe chan wouldve planned a quick little something. you knew you could've just communicated this to your boyfriend, but you had wanted the romantics sue you!
surprisingly, you received a call a few minutes after chan's departure; one from one of your closest mutual friends, one boo seungkwan. it was very likely that he had remembered today's date, very much unlike your boyfriend.
"hi, kwannie," you replied upon answering.
"baby! happy birthday!!! love you!"
you sighed, "thank you, boo. love you too."
"aigoo, something wrong? sad channie can't stay in today?", you could hear and see his pout through the phone.
"no, kwannie. it's nothing. don't worry about it," even if you were slightly annoyed, you didnt want to throw your boyfriend under the bus.
"no! tell me!! you can't be sad on your birthday, cmon!"
"well .. chan kinda, uh, forgot."
"what? did he say anything?"
"nope. just left without saying anything."
"aish, that idiot. don't worry, i'll take care of this, i'll-"
"no, kwan! it's fine. i dont wanna make a big deal out of it. you guys are busy with your comeback. it's okay, i'll get over it."
"but, baby-"
"kwan, really. i'm fine, i swear. have a good day for me, okay? love you."
he humphed, but accepted your response, "fine. you better have fun today too, though, okay? love you."
and that was the end of it. you would now probably spend the next few hours a bit dejected, not looking forward to the inevitable moment in which your boyfriend realized his mistake, knowing you couldn't really be mad at him due to his busy lifestyle, but feeling hurt nonetheless.
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forteafy · 1 year
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Where Do We Go? | CL16 & CS55
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Summary: Charles will do anything to fix his marriage with you, Carlos will do anything to prove you're worth more. The question is where do you go between the two men fighting for your affection?
Word Count: 9.7k
Warnings: angst, a lotta angst, cheating, light smut, character death.
Note: You all really wanted a Part 2 to this one, and of course, I wanted to deliver! This is a little bit more angsty, we’re trying to save a relationship, after all. Or…are we? Also, a massive thank you to @formulaforza for proof-reading this for me and pulling me up on my addiction to italics; my brain is literally jelly right now. Enjoy, everybody!
PART 1: A House, A Home | PART 2: Where Do We Go? | PART 3: 'You Think, You Know'
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Carlos Sainz is a best friend. 
Best friends, however, do not text a love confession to one another in the hours of a rising sun, especially not when their declaration is to a woman who is wrapped up in the arms of her husband. 
The confession had run cold through your veins; if it hadn’t been for the sheer exhaustion taking over your body from the events of the past 48 hours, you were certain you would have been up the entire night, contemplating the words he had sent to you. He wasn’t drunk; far from it, the man had driven you down the dusky streets to your home mere hours before. Was he lonely? Did he feel sorry for you? More importantly, did he mean those precious words that had lit up your screen?
Eventually, the desire for sleep, for the warmth of your estranged husband’s chest pillowing your back overtakes your body. You hadn’t slept in a bed with him since the last day of your supposed honeymoon; even then, you had slept with an infinite gap between the two of you, cuddling instead into a pillow, rageful tears in your eyes at the realization that this was now your life. 
This was entirely different. Charles pressed into you as if holding you together; his warm breath danced across the nape of your neck, a hand pressed into your stomach, cradling you between the warm blankets and soft cushions you had picked out when decorating your room. You didn’t rouse during the night, the two before had been filled with tears, constantly awakening to call for your mother as if you were a child again, the harsh realization that she wasn’t around anymore. 
When you did wake, the bed was empty. 
You had subconsciously turned in the blankets when you arose, expecting to see the figure of your husband next to you. The pillow was still rumpled, his glasses disappeared from the nightstand, every single trace of him had seemed to evaporate. Clearly, one night next to you had been a big enough mistake in his eyes. 
Instead, your attention turns towards your phone. Silently, you remove the device from its charger, the homescreen being flooded with sympathetic messages and photographs of you arriving at your father’s home. Luckily, no photographs of Carlos picking you up himself had been released; that would have caused a frenzy which wasn’t desired on either side. 
However, his last text to you that evening before still stayed burned into your screen. In curiosity, you’d once again opened the text thread, seeing th
e words stand strong, his confession to his feelings presents for your eyes. He had laid it out so clearly, Carlos Sainz was in love with you. 
But, were you in love with him? You loved your family; you loved the smell of fresh candles. You adored the sounds of the fastest cars in the world racing around a track whilst you watched with ease. Did you categorize your best friend into the love you so carefully crafted? Was the desire you felt for contact solely directed towards him? 
You never had time to answer yourself that morning. Your subconscious state recognised the sound of footsteps; it was most likely Charles, on his way to his own room for some private time. Maybe he’d have his mistress with him, having snuck out of bed early that morning to possibly go and pick her up himself. 
The footsteps get louder, the door to your room opens, much to your confusion. In the doorway, stands your husband. You’ve never seen him like this; a soft smile, hair pushed back by a bandana, glasses resting on the bridge of his small nose. He’s dressed in a soft, grey jumper and matching tracksuit bottoms, fluffy socks warming his feet. In one arm, he cradles a washing bag. Upon closer inspection, you see that it’s your washing from the case you had lugged in the night before, ironed and folded. In his other hand, he holds a steaming mug of tea. 
He looks beautiful like this, almost ethereal. He looks domestic. 
“Good morning.” He speaks gently, as if any sudden sound would hurt you. You looked…so precious, covered in blankets, your pajamas covering your modesty. “I’m sorry I had to leave early. I went to get your washing done and…pick up some tea.” He offers, holding up the bag of washing in confirmation. Charles offers you a smile as walks into the room, placing the pile of clothing on your vanity. Cradling the mug of hot tea in his hand, he walks back over to where you’re now sat up, surrounded by soft furnishings, offering you the drink which you gladly accept. 
It's a mediocre cup of tea at best; the teabag hasn’t diluted properly, there’s too little milk and too much sugar. Yet, the fact he had made the drink himself caused your heart to soften, despite the past twelve months of actions. You offer him a soft ‘thank you,’ as the drink touches your lips. You’re half-expecting him to stand up and leave immediately. Instead, Charles sits himself down on the edge of the bed, making certain he doesn’t sit on your outstretched legs. 
There’s a moment of bliss; you’re somewhat enjoying the drink cradled in your hands, your husband’s eyes trained on your movements. At one moment, he reaches out his hand towards your face. You flinch, not too sure on what was happening, before his palm simply tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You can’t bring your own eye gaze to meet him, simply focusing on the hot drink in your hand. You can’t help but notice the way his shoulders fall, clearly not satisfied with the lack of eye-contact. 
You can’t help it; it’s as if Charles believes with one night wrapped in his arms would solve the past twelve months. You couldn’t forget, not everything that had happened. Your husband had shattered this relationship, well and truly. He could only hope he’d realised in enough time to somehow win you back. Silently, he stands up from the edge of the comforter, walking towards the vanity, beginning to remove the clothing from its basket. It’s… humorous, to see him try and figure out where each category goes. It’s also a stark reminder of how this is ‘your’ room, not ‘our’ room.  
Whilst picking out a rather revealing pair of panties, folding them up and placing them into your draw, he begins to speak again. “What are you doing this afternoon?” His voice is soft, but in the silent room it carries well.
You shrug, before realizing Charles has his back to you. “I’m…nothing much.” You cut yourself off, placing the cup of tea on your bedside table, letting your hands pull up the comforter a little higher. “My father is going to the funeral parlor today.” Are you…having a conversation with your husband? “How about you?”
“I have lunch with the Ferrari team this afternoon. Nothing serious, just a talk on the next part of the season.” He explains. Charles isn’t stupid; he knows despite your father’s input that you constantly worry about his job. Not because you care about his fame, wealth or power; you care about him. 
“I was,” he takes a breath. “I was wondering if you would like to come along.” 
You feel goosebumps prickle across your exposed skin. Charles Leclerc never invited you to his lunches. He’d always have a reason as to why his darling Mrs. Leclerc could never attend their lunch meetings alongside him. The only time you’d ever appear by his side, fingers harshly interlinked and a cold barrier between you both was when your father insisted upon it. He wouldn’t be there today, there was no way he’d be present for any form of meeting for a while now. 
“You don’t have to, of course.” His explanation runs further. “I know it might be too much for you now. I just thought…maybe we could go for a drive after. Carlos and Xavi will be there, you’ll know some of the others from the Paddock…” His voice trails off in your mind. It had started to  the moment he had said the Spaniards name. 
Were you… ready to see Carlos? The day after a text message you had never thought you’d see. Would he acknowledge the message, was it a drunken mistake? Most importantly, did you want him to love you? 
When you come back out of your trail of thoughts, Charles is still talking, carefully hanging one of your summer dresses onto a velvet coat hanger. He takes a moment to brush the fabric under his fingertips, feeling the soft cotton under his touch. He’s so gentle. The touch is almost identical to the way he had held you mere hours ago.
“I’ll come.” You cut him off, watching as his head snaps in your direction, eyes bright underneath his glasses. “Yeah. It will be…nice.” You finish your sentence, trying not to ramble or to float off topic. Charles’ eyes are still bright, elated you had decided to come alongside him. All he had to do now was fix every other mistake spanning over twelve months. 
Carlos Sainz is a red-wine gentleman. 
You’d immediately spotted him the moment you had entered the waterside restaurant; his back was to the entrance, but you’d recognise the powdered blue shirt and dark wisps of hair in any circumstance. You could have just walked over, stood next to him and ordered a drink, but your fingers stayed tightly interlocked with your husbands, a force of habit in public at the current rate. 
However, his grasp, like the entirety of his actions over the past twenty-four hours, was different. Charles’ thumb gently stroked over your knuckle, his fingers gently resting against yours instead of the firm grip he usually held for the sake of actions. He’d taken a moment to look at you before entering the building, something he’d never done in the past, simply having dragged you into whatever location instead. It was as if his eyes told you a million things; that he had your back and the moment you wanted to leave, he was right behind you. 
The moment you’re in the presence of company, the façade still comes alive, the act you had been creating for all this time is still a force of habit. Charles’ hand comes around your waist, greeting the many members of the Scuderia Ferrari team, thanking them for his time and attention to the matter. As always, you tactfully excuse yourself from the side of your husband, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek and removing yourself from the crowd. Usually, he wouldn’t so much as flinch from the chaste action, but you don’t miss his eyes longing for you to stay this time. 
Instead, your heel-clad feet press through the tiles of the place, making advancements towards the white marbled-bar. You receive a nod from the friendly-looking gentleman mixing cocktails, a silent signal to let him know when you’re ready. Maybe you stand too close to Carlos, so much so that you can smell his cologne, you can feel his body warmth radiating through that shirt. It doesn’t take long for him to notice your presence, his eyes widening upon the realization that it was, in fact, you–the woman he had confessed his feelings to less than twelve hours ago. 
“I didn’t realize you’d be here, Mariposa,” he taunts, pulling you into his side. You’re grinning immediately, happy to be reunited with your close friend after how he had left you last night, promising he’d be there if you needed anything. “Come to make sure your husband behaves?” 
“No. I came to see how his teammate is behaving.” You let him ponder for a moment, but he realizes, the blush growing from his neck to his cheeks. “I’m a married woman, Carlos.” You remind him but make no attempt to move further away. The idea is completely eradicated when his hand comes out to rest on the small of your back. His eyes are still fixed on you. He knows he shouldn’t be doing this. It’s not fair to you. He couldn’t care less about his teammate’s position, the way he’s treated you all this time leaves a sour taste on his tongue. 
“Your marital status doesn’t change the way I feel for you.” He thinks back to that moment in the ocean. What on Earth would be happening if he had kissed you at that moment? He could never be certain, but something tells him you’d be his date to this luncheon right now. Sighing, Carlos turns to face you directly, the bottle of wine he had originally come to pick up having been left on the counter. 
“I’m going to ask you something, and you don’t have to respond.” He tries to keep his breathing calm, your presence practically overpowering him. “But...I would love to take you out for a date sometime. A proper date. With flowers and dinner and being able to make you smile.” Your heart is softening by the moment with the Spaniard’s pleads of everything your husband had never given you. “Would you like that?” 
“I would.” You don’t even have to think of your response. “I would like that, Carlos.” At that moment, your estranged husband is the last thought of your mind; instead it’s overpowered by the fantasies of a date with the man standing in front of you. This time, Carlos can’t help the grin on his lips, reaching for the bottle of red wine on the bar. His careful hands carefully unlatch the stopper, the liquid hitting two crystal glasses, one of which he passes to you.
“Well, shall we toast the idea, no?” he holds up the glass delicately, to which you raise your own, grinning at the satisfying sound of clinking crockery. When you take a sip of the rich red, you’re blissfully unaware of your husband’s eyes; the ones which are never attached to you, but in that moment, don’t want to focus on anything else. Nobody misses the way he purposely sits between yourself and his teammate, fingers interlocked into yours tightly, the occasional kiss on the temple of your head. 
You were his wife, after all. 
Carlos Sainz is a brilliant cook. 
The intimacy between yourself and your husband had oddly grown within the past week. To start, his messages became more frequent, checking in when he couldn’t be at the house. Your pantry had stocked overnight, begging for your home cooking whenever he could be there to sample it. Most importantly, the interaction. You’d been hesitant to even let your husband touch you in the beginning. You had kept it simple, a hug before you’d headed off to bed in your room, (sleeping in the same bed as him had been that one-off.) His arms would find their way onto your waist if you were cooking, his fingers would tuck a lock of hair behind your ear when you found yourself engrossed in studies. 
Your husband had been elated when you had spoken to him two days before he was due to leave for Qatar, announcing you would like to attend alongside him; it was also your father’s wishes to attend that race, wanting to signal to his fellow associates that he was okay, that you could pass on a message from your family. Charles’ eyes had glossed over with happiness, taking your hand in his own, pressing a kiss to the back of your knuckles. 
You were ready for your entrance to the Paddock 72 hours later; after arriving in Qatar, you’d barely seen anything from the transport from his jet to the hotel. Your eyes had grown heavy the moment your feet were removed from their shoes, two large beds welcoming you with their soft blankets and heavy pillows. (He’d made sure to give you the sleeping space that you needed.) Charles’ heart had softened when he’d seen you curl into one bed. When he returned from the bathroom, you were out like a light. 
It didn’t stop him from gently rubbing a makeup wipe over your features, knowing you’d regret your lack of attention to appearance in the morning. Hesitantly, he leans forward, pressing a kiss to your hairline, one hand stroking over the back of your head before he returns to unpacking both yours and his suitcase. 
You had been hesitant of attending the Paddock alongside Charles that morning, not because you were worried of the bombarding questions. No, this was the first time you had attended the paddock with a husband who seemed comforted by your presence. His heart felt gentle when he saw you look out of the front windscreen, eyes transfixed on the countless photographers standing by the barriers. Immediately, his hand finds yours, resting atop your thigh, the hot weather pleading for a cooler outfit. 
“You don’t have to do this.” He removes his sunglasses, those ocean eyes finding your own. “You can wait here, or I can have somebody drive you back to the hotel now.” He promises, the worry flickering over his face. Your hand removes itself from his firm grasp, instead reaching forward and resting your hand on his bristled cheek. 
“I’m okay.” You promise him, thumb dancing over his soft cheekbone. He offers you a soft smile, eyelashes fluttering as your face gets closer to his; you have no panic leaning over the console of the hire-car, gently pressing a warm kiss to the cheek your hand wasn’t resting upon. You can’t help but hesitate when you pull back from his face, lingering within mere millimeters of his lips for a long moment; you could just lean forward, press your lips to his and give into all those nights you had dreamed of. But this wasn’t a dream; this was your husband whom you needed to fix a relationship with first. 
Charles isn’t going to lean forward and kiss you himself, not until the signals you are giving him are crystal clear. Instead, he presses his forehead close to yours, tips of your noses gently brushing against one another before he steps out of the car, and you’re quick to follow. 
This time, he doesn’t walk in silence, ignoring your presence. Instead, as the two of you flash your paddock passes towards the security guards, he’s openly commenting on different happenings around Media Day, both of you falling into giggles upon seeing Toto Wolff’s broken arm; he was truly beginning to become an icon at the local emergency room. You’re happy. Subdued in a bubble alongside your husband, hands interlocked as you work your way through the paddock. 
You’ve never experienced such a harsh blow to reality when you see an all-too-familiar figure lurking outside of the Williams Racing building. Her hair is shorter, her skirt is skimpier and a ghastly color. However, she still looks beautiful. She is undoubtedly the woman you’ve fought and lost your husband’s affection from, his mistress. 
Charles seems to clock less than a moment after you do, both bodies freezing upon notifying her presence. You seem to have a quicker reaction time, despite being in the presence of a world-class Formula Driver. Immediately, you rip your grasp from Charles’ hand, showing him no emotion as you step away and into the Ferrari Building. You’re fortunate enough to avoid most of your fathers’ colleges, only once having to stop to give a sympathizing message of your mothers’ passing, the words being used are minute compared to the ache in your heart for her presence. 
When you reach the top of the dark stairs, almost certain you can hear Charles’ voice below you. He’s searching for you now, but instead is overwhelmed by the amount of people in his presence. You’re able to sneak through the makeshift corridor, finding a large number ’55,’ pressed onto the door. You don’t even think, opening the door to a very tanned, very shirtless Carlos Sainz.
He's so… toned. The natural light from the window is reflecting beautifully onto his chest, broader than you’d last seen during your adventures at sea. His shorts hang low on his waist, making no attempt to shift his body despite your appearance. Instead, his dressing is overtaken by his concern for your face, immediately dropping the shirt fisted in his right hand, taking your gentle face in between both of his palms. You didn’t even realize the tears resting on your cheeks, the fear glossed over in your eyes that you’d ever trusted Charles.
Carlos doesn’t need to ask; he saw her on his own entry to the Paddock. Admittedly, he had to double-take; surely Charles wouldn’t have the audacity to bring his mistress to the other side of the world. He didn’t bother to glance in her direction too long, instead greeting the Ferrari team, excusing himself to go and get changed for their upcoming press appearances. In this moment, he’s held you against his bare chest, hushing you gently as one hand threads through your hair. Your mind is overwhelmed, from seeing your husband’s mistress, but from being pressed against his oh-so warm chest. 
You don’t even realize, but your palms are resting on his chest, his skin so soft beneath your touch. Carlos gently hushes you, tilting your head up to face him, still cradled in his grasp. He could so easily reach forward, claim you there and then, but he realizes in that moment, under your soft touch and those doe eyes, you are the one who has claimed him. After a moment, he pulls back, motioning for you to follow him towards the couch, littered in Spanish-themed cushions and the enormous chili plushie you had bought him several months ago. 
You can’t help the slight disappointment when Carlos eventually slips on his Ferrari Polo; however, you are interested when he reaches for his small fridge, pulling out a neat lunchbox, motioning for you to grasp it whilst he reaches for another. Curiosity takes the better of you, gently unclasping the lid of the Tupperware box. A beautiful aroma overtakes your senses, a carefully crafted meal nestled into the lunchbox. The Spaniard can’t help but grin at your reaction; sometimes something as simple as a homemade meal could lift your spirits.
And that’s how you spent the next forty-five minutes, sat on the sofa of Carlos Sainz’s driver room, the man sat on the floor as the two of you exchanged bites of food. There’s one particular moment where you offer him a spoonful of your lunchbox, watching as he arches his torso towards you. 
It’s almost…sensual, the way his lips wrap around the top of the spoon, maintaining sole eye contact as he retracts his mouth from the utensil, letting his tongue trace around his lips for a chase of the taste. He knows what he’s doing; in his mind, all he wants is to show how adored you could be, to show he could be everything your husband never was.
It isn’t until Charles is finally free from the bombarding questions of his sponsors that he finally locates you in Carlos’ room. The man isn’t oblivious; he can see that the two of you have grown undeniably close. He can’t bring himself to say anything on the matter. He knows, in his heart of hearts, he has no right to make any assumptions; he was the one who had spent hours with a mistress, after all. Silently, he opens the door to the driver’s room, your figure perched upon the sofa, a grin plastering your soft features. You looked happy.
You looked like the most beautiful girl he had seen in his life. 
You acknowledge his presence after a few moments, standing up from your place on the sofa, insisting the man tries Carlos’ cooking. It takes less than a few blinks of your eyes for him to submit, taking the spoonful off your utensil, making a comment towards his teammate that he would have to give him some lessons at some point. The man says nothing, simply nodding in a passive agreement. 
There’s a sharp call for Charles after he wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. He shoots both you and his teammate an apologetic look before he makes his way down the corridor, gently closing the door behind him as to give you a sense of privacy; the last thing he wanted was to have you plastered all over social media pages when he knew it would purely be used for publicity purposes. 
You’re still smiling when the door closes, your back to Carlos’ front. “He seems to like you-“ 
You were destined to never finish that sentence. Within a split moment, there are warm hands, rough hands resting on either side of your waist, twisting your body within his grasp. He takes two steps backwards, enough pacing to have your back pressed against the closed door: the coldness of the wood contrasting violently with the heat radiating off your best friend. 
He couldn’t hold any emotion. Carlos Sainz wears his heart on his sleeve. That much is adamant, from the way his text messages were drafted, to the way he tilts his head, meshing his lips to your own. 
They’re surprisingly soft; there’s nothing soft in the way his hands grasp at your waist, the way his body is pressing so deeply into yours. Yet, as his lips continue to entrance yours, they feel like clouds; a gentle stroke of a paintbrush. His artistry continues when his kisses get deeper, one of his hands enclosing yours, bringing it to rest around his shoulders, pushing the two of you closer together. Your other hand is interlocked by his, being stretched above your head, pinned to the door you’re resting upon. 
He's waited so long for this, before lunch, before your moment in the sea. He’s wanted this since the moment you walked into the Ferrari Paddock alongside your father, you must have been etched into his heart. 
Carlos isn’t thinking; his kisses are becoming rougher, one hand blindly reaching for your leg, almost bare from the shorts you had opted from your wardrobe earlier. He guides it to rest upon his hip, grunting when he can feel his hardened crotch press between your legs. His reality comes crashing down when he feels the cool band on your fingers entangling in his hair. Your wedding ring. 
Ragged breaths, panting, he pulls away from your lips, pressing his forehead to your own in a sheer plea of comfort. Both your breaths are synchronized, both grasping for some form of air in the room. 
“You’re everything, Mariposa.” He whispers, closing his dark eyes, enjoying his moment, taking every opportunity to imprint the feeling of your body, of your lips into his mind. He prays this won’t be the last time he holds you this way. 
Carlos Sainz is a fast texter. 
In the moments after you had shared the intimacy, hidden away in his driver’s room, he’s gone into a sheer panic. He’d overstepped, he’d made an advancement on you at your most vulnerable. When he had left for the press alongside your husband, he didn’t have a single chance to pull you aside, not when you had left the moment after the duo had been pulled into their press conferences. Simply, you were not waiting around to catch glimpses of the mistress, still proudly flocking around the Paddock as if it was her home.
It had taken a matter of moments to request a car home, having slipped out of the Ferrari building, talking to one of your father’s colleagues about your departure. Silently, you paced out of the building, a direct beeline towards the car park, head down from the ever-present photographers. 
You hadn’t expected a text from either your husband or his teammate, considering that they were both in press conferences until further notice. However, when you had felt and grasped the device in your shorts, you had immediately noticed the soft vibrations, pulling your device out of your pocket, your eyes being illuminated by the screen of your phone. Two text messages. One from your father, one from Carlos. Your attention is drawn to the latter, curious on what your best friend has to say. 
11:32: Carlos Sainz: 
I’m really, truly sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable. I haven’t seen Charles yet to let him know you left. You don’t have to see me again if you do not wish. 
11:36: You
It wasn’t you at all, I promise! I was aware that Charles’ mistress was about, I couldn’t stick about for that. 
Carlos messages you back, almost immediately. You’re confused, considering he is due to be in press alongside Charles. He could be having a break; he could have completely skipped out on several media appearances. 
11:38: Carlos Sainz
I wish you could have stayed longer. I meant what I said, every single word. Please let me know if you need anything.
11:41: You
I know, C. I appreciate it, even if I express it terribly. I’ll always be here for you, too. Always. 
You never get to see the next message that Carlos sends to you. Instead, your phone starts ringing, an incoming call from your father. You’re certain that the chauffeur won’t mind you taking the call whatsoever, holding the device to your ear as your father’s tone fills the void, his words becoming numbing as he runs through the details of your mother’s funeral, the tears in his voice beginning to swell heavily. 
Charles had left the Paddock as soon as he got notice of your departure. He hadn’t bothered to message, his sole focus being on returning to the hotel, to find out what on Earth had happened to you. He was fortunate enough to escape the wandering eyes of his ex-mistress, how on Earth she had gotten into the Paddock for that race was beyond him, especially since he had ceased contact from that day. 
The car arrives swiftly outside of the hotel; immediately, Charles is rushing through the back entrance, beelining for the staircase; waiting for an elevator at this moment would be too much. Within moments, he’s fumbling for his key card, pushing the door open, his heart shattering at the vision in front of him. 
You, his wife, sat on the edge of one of the king-size beds; your head is buried into your hands, heavy sobs racking through your body. He can see the goosebumps littering your skin, the solemn shakes running through you, the trauma of losing somebody you cared about so deeply, combined with a cocktail of emotions from your entrance to the Paddock had become too much. 
He doesn’t care about boundaries, not at this point. Immediately, Charles has crouched in front of you, his gentle hands reaching to grasp around your wrists. There’s a flinch at the sudden contact; your skin had overheated from the sheer energy of crying; your husband’s cool touch was a stark contrast which made you shiver. Delicate touches pull your hands away from your eyes. They’re so red, so swollen. Had he ever made you react like that from his own actions. The Monegasque doesn’t want to question that right now, he can’t even bring himself to look into your broken eyes. Instead, he feels as your arms wrap around his neck, hiding your face in his neck, craving for somebody to just…hold you. 
Your husband has no issue in that desire; he lets you remain like that, Charles on his knees whilst you cling to him, the tears dampening through his shirt. One hand slides across your back, kneading gentle circles into your skin. At some point, you move onto the bed, the man lying back on the soft furnishings whilst you rest your head on his chest, arms encircling you as if he could hold you together, until the storm in your mind passes. 
When the tears subside, you finally find the energy to look up to your husband. He hadn’t reached for his phone, tried to find some form of entertainment whilst he held you to his chest for hours. Instead, his gaze had been fixed upon you, brushing a gentle stroke over your cheek, his fingers dancing against your skin, brushing away the tension from heavy lines and sobs. When your eyes do open, you’re greeted with a soft smile, Charles leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. 
“Do you need some water?” His concern is to bring you back up to health; now the tears have stopped, he can do this. “I can order some food; would you like that?” His voice is so quiet, as if a simple loud sound could shatter through your veins. You can’t muster up more than a nod, your body becoming colder when Charles’ gently shifts away, sitting up so he can reach for the telephone. His voice is so mesmerizing, speaking down the line as he requests different foods; he doesn’t mind how much he orders, if he can coax you into even eating a little, the man will be satisfied. 
The call finishes, but the man doesn’t sink back down into his previous position. Instead, whilst he remains sat up, Charles guides you to join him, your body still aching from your emotional breakdown. He murmurs under his breath as he pulls you into his lap, your body is tense until his strong arms wrap around your waist, the warmth instantly allowing you to relax, lean back into his firm chest. 
“I’ve wanted to speak to you for a few days.” His voice is soft, but the phrase causes you to feel a sharp panic dance down your chest. Surely, this can’t be good. The relationship had evolved from barely speaking to intimate conversations within a span of two weeks. You try, try so hard to keep a clear mind as your husband continues to address you. 
“How I’ve acted…how I treated you, all that time-“ He must stop himself, trying not to let his own emotion overpower his words. “I’m never going to be able to take it all back, and I will never be able to stop apologizing for it.” His whispers, his eyes growing misty with regret. “I will never forgive myself for how I treated you, nor do I ever expect you to forgive me. But…I want to try. I want to try and spend the rest of my days as you husband. I know…it won’t be overnight, but I’ll do anything, anything for you.”  
The tears are rolling down your own cheeks now; never, in your wildest dreams, did you expect for Charles to speak those words of affirmation to you. His hand moves cautiously, to your face, wiping the tears which were pooling across your features.
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers, letting one of his hands remain on your cheek. The man leans forward, pressing gentle butterfly kisses to your forehead, your cheeks, your nose…he pauses, mere inches from your lips. He wants to kiss you; he’d promised himself he wasn’t going to push you; his mind and his heart are complete opposites. 
His mind goes into overdrive when you lean forward and press your lips to his own. They’re salty, slightly chapped, but undeniably something he has been craving for oh-so-long. Charles is immediately kissing you back, his grip around you tightening, keeping your body close to his own. Carefully, he shuffles the two of you back into a lying position, never once breaking the kiss, tumbling back onto the mattress.
Of course, you don’t miss his grumble of annoyance when the food eventually arrives.
 Carlos Sainz is a gentle kisser. 
An autumn breeze was strong on the dreaded day; the funeral had rolled around way too soon for your liking. Rows of family connections, close and distant friends lined the outside of the cemetery, eyes all transfixed on the black hearse rolling into view. Murmurs were pressed into silence, a bitter air all-too present as the ivory coffin was removed from the vehicle. Your elder brother and two cousins were to assist in carrying the piece into the church. Plans were soon suspended when the eldest of your siblings collapsed into tears, head in his hands upon the sheer realization that this was it.
Your father is desperately looking around, practically praying outside a place of worship that the eldest could pull himself together; it’s impossible. Whilst one of your arms is occupied, holding the hand of your young sister, the other gently wraps around his torso, comforting him in the ways he had done for you when you were nothing more than a young girl in messy braids and mismatched socks. 
His wife stood on his right-hand side, adamant on consoling the man as you were, a caring hand running across his back. Your husband stood next to your sister, her childish eyes blinking in confusion; just like you, she had never seen her brother this inconsolable. 
Charles feels a pain wash through him, he wants nothing more than to help his dear family through this moment. Maybe the act he was playing for so long was just a way of shielding himself from caring. Now he had bared his soul towards you, pleading for a second chance, the man wanted to be there for you, in every sense of the word. 
He murmurs something incoherently, stepping away from your side, leaning towards your father’s ear. Whatever he mumbles is met with a sharp nod, a firm pat on the shoulder in confirmation. Your husband keeps a firm gaze on the coffin, not catching your own eyes as he walks towards the piece to join your cousins. There’s a quick whisper between the men, before the ivory is shuffled from the car, resting on their suit-clad shoulders. Silence falls over the attendants as your mother is carried into the church, immediate family following closely behind. Hesitantly, your eyes look to the crowding people, and as if by fate, you see his dark eyes, the fluffy curls brushed back to conform. He shouldn’t look that good in a dark suit. 
Most noticeably, his gaze isn’t fixed on the church, on the six men carrying your mother. It’s transfixed on you. 
The service is beautiful, if you can describe it like that. Flowers are placed atop of your mother’s coffin, the service of words correlating to her soul, the hymns sung were always her favorite when you had frequented church as a young girl. However, there’s a turning point. When the priest begins to speak of her dear children, tears pool in your lower lash-line. You want to take the time for yourself, to mourn, but louder sobs are emitting from next to you; the youngest child is beginning to realize her mother is truly gone. 
You’re torn; pulling her towards you would only make you cry harder; you had already seen your father and brother fall apart, silently knowing you would have to be the one to wait by the door, thanking the copious guests for attending. Her tears are suddenly quietened when you see her gently shuffled into Charles’ lap; despite the estranged relationship for the past twelve months, he’d always had a soft spot for your sister, she reminded him of when Arthur was young. Whilst her tears turn softer, he runs a hand over her back, letting the young girl rest her heavy head in his sternum. 
The open gap in the seating allowed for you to shuffle closer towards your husband, his free arm wrapping around your torso. You had to remain sitting up straight; his presence right now would have to be enough for your comfort. To any unassuming eye, you would probably look like a family, the crowds of attendants would have no idea of the true story behind your marriage. Even on the darkest days, the narrative was played well.
When the service draws to a close, final prayers are spoken. The first to rise are your father and brother, both clinging to one-another as they must leave the building. Silently, you pull yourself away from your husband’s grasp, smoothing the skirt of your dress. Charles remains seated, your sister practically passing out atop of him. Today had been a heavy day for a child, after all. 
There are rows of people pausing to console you on your loss whilst you stand at the door of the church; friends you had known for oh-so-long, members of the Scuderia Ferrari team; you had never seen Fred Vasseur cry, but the redness of his eyes told you something completely different as he took one of your hands in his, squeezing it in apology. 
The pews filter out silently, a large group of the guests making their way back to your father’s home, the wake soon to begin, a blessing and want of your late mother. Sharp footsteps are emitted through the church, the penultimate duo being your husband and sister. He was still carrying her, head resting on his shoulder, almost completely asleep. Charles smiles at finally seeing you, using his free hand to run across the back of your head. 
“I’m going to take her back.” Charles explains to you. He understands you don't need the pressure of looking after her atop of everything else bound to come your way. “Let me know when you’re done here, please?” Silently, you nod, no hesitation needed as he leans forward, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, bidding you farewell as he paces out of the church, holding your sister tightly in comfort. 
You believe that’s everybody, ready to collect your belongings and thank the priest for a heart-warming farewell. Before you can even think to turn around, there’s a light cough, emitting you to spin on your heel. 
He’s there. Still clad in his designer suit, hair pushed back behind his ears. Undeniably, Carlos Sainz looks good in any situation. He holds your bag in one hand, the other reaching out to clasp around your wrist. You gasp at the warm skin pressing to your own, heat radiating through your body. The man leans down, letting his lips brush against your own, a sweet feathering brush pressing onto you. Carlos wanted to be there for you, more than ever on what would be the hardest day. 
Seeing Charles take that position had made his blood boil. 
His grip on you remains tight as he leads you out of the church and towards his own car, parked in the most secluded section of the lot. When his grip falters to hold your hand instead, he doesn’t aim to correct it, instead only holding tighter. He only removes his grasp to unlock his car, sliding himself into the driving seat, pushing the recliner back as far as it would go. When the space is present, he guides you to rest atop of his lap, arms tightening around your waist as he lets the door close, bodies pressed together tightly. 
“Is this okay?” He murmurs, keeping your faces so close together. The built-up emotion, the desire since your last kiss had built a fire in your stomach, not so much as speaking before pressing your lips to his own. Whilst your own movements had become desperate, craving for some form of emotional release, his remained feather-light, one hand tangled into your hair, the other resting firmly on your waist. 
His lips are soon ghosting over your cheek, fluttering across your jawline and landing on your neck, small whines emitting from your lips as he seeks to trace his tongue over your sweetest spot. The sensation across your body, the hot touch of his skin and an undeniable bulge now settling between your legs. 
There’s a sudden realization that you needed to go home. Being with Carlos was the affection you desired, your heart knows however that right now, your family needs you. Hesitantly, you pull away from the man’s lips, feeling utterly guilty for the pleading look in his eyes as you rest your forehead against his own. He could never hate you for it, though. In his eyes, you could never draw that feeling from him. You don’t need to say anything, he knows. 
“I’ll drive you back.” He murmurs, pressing one final kiss to your lips before allowing you to slide into the leather passenger seat. 
The drive to your father’s home is almost silent; there’s an occasional rev of the engine, various horns from different cars along the highway. A part of you always prays that each drive with the Spaniard could last forever, you could drive into the distance and live happily ever after. The fairy-tale is soon dissolved when you pull to the driveway, hearing the engine of the car cease. Your eyes find Carlos’ side profile, still transfixed on the road ahead. 
“Are you coming in?” You ask gently. He sighs, the grip on his steering wheel becoming tighter.
“I can’t see you that close to him, Mariposa.” He murmurs, finally finding the courage to look you in the eyes. “Not when I want to be that close to you.” One hand finds its way off the wheel, entwining your fingers together, peppering light kisses against your knuckles. “Please call me when you go back. I’ll miss you.” 
“I’ll miss you too.” You whisper, leaning to press a kiss to his stubbled cheek. In that moment, Carlos Sainz is your savior. He’s your truth. 
Carlos Sainz is a liar. 
Your knuckles had turned white from the grasp on your phone, you didn’t want to believe anything you were seeing. What was supposed to be an impromptu browse of Twitter whilst waiting for your husband to finish in the en-suite, had turned into a deep dive through a certain hashtag, having seen information spread on a certain Ferrari driver.
It had started as a simple few tweets, some fans and gossip pages reckoning they had seen the driver in an exclusive club, some random blonde sitting on top of him. The photos came second, though the angle was skewed, the quality too weak to see who was there. The final nail was the video; Carlos’ hand placed on her waist, how he had done to you mere hours ago, his mouth pressing against hers, clearly nothing else on his mind. 
Granted, you knew you had no right to feel the anger you did; after all, you were married, Carlos was a single man, free to do as he desired. Yet, your rage was fuelled by the romantic, now seemingly empty promises he had made you; how you were his everything, how he would treat you better than Charles ever did. He was no different than Charles Leclerc, and as your fumbled fingers reached to his contact, your rage felt inclined to tell him that. 
The phone rings once, twice, three times. You’re set to hang up, leave a particularly nasty text message to the man before the line connects. Immediately, your eardrums are overtaken by the loud pulse of a nightclub, some feminine laughter almost directly on top of him. 
“Are you okay?” He asks. Clearly, he’s now intoxicated, his accent is always thicker when he is. You hear another voice, telling him to hang up the phone and to come and dance with her. “Hey- are you there?”
“I’m here.” You snap; why do you feel this enraged? You must have done so when you first saw Charles with his mistress; that had become such a common occurrence that the fire in your stomach must have eventually drained. “And clearly, you’re busy with the woman climbing all over you.” 
“Fuck- you left me hanging!” He retorts, drunken mind clearly pressing against any form of sober thought. “You went back to your husband. Left me with nothing. Fuck the funeral.” He snaps, clearly now becoming enraged with the entire situation, with the fact he had been caught out. The words pressed through the speaker of your phone and emitted a wave of sobs from your stomach, immediately pressing the red button on your device.
Carlos Sainz wasn’t in love with you. He just liked the distraction. 
Of course, as fate would have it, the moment that your tears began again was the moment Charles had left the bathroom. He’s dressed in just a pair of boxers, chest bare and tone after his warm shower. The sound of the door opening caused you to turn to the source. His eyes widen, scampering towards you, cradling you in his arms, bare chest against your cheek. Silently, you sob into his body for the third time that day, wanting nothing more than for every form of pain to stop.
“Hey, come on.” He whispers, arms circling your body, pulling you tight against him. He thinks that seeing you cry will get easier each time, that the pain in the pit of his stomach won’t continue to eat him away. However, it never gets easier; he hates seeing you cry, every single time. “It’s been a long day, yeah? Let’s get some sleep, baby.”
The nickname sounds foreign on his tongue, though neither of you question it. If anything it causes more emotion to flicker through your body, the fact that your estranged husband was finally beginning to give you. Silently, he guides the two of you into the large bed, cradling you to his chest as he had done whilst in Qatar. Sleep and emotion overtake you, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder as a ‘thank you,’ before drifting into a state of slumber.
The sleep means you miss a vital update from the Twitter threads you had been closely following earlier. 
‘Carlos Sainz leaves exclusive club ALONE, despite dating rumors arising with mystery blonde.’
Carlos Sainz is your best friend.
You returned to the following day; the entire time remaining at your father’s house had consisted of nothing but tears. You had been especially concerned for your sister, watching the way she had clinged to Charles when the duo was saying their fond farewells. After a tight hug from each family member, your husband hand interlinked your fingers together, guiding the two of you to his own car, each free hand carrying along the suitcases. 
The first hour of the drive home had been quiet, the buzzing streets had morphed into greenery, the sun beginning to set across the coast. Your eyelids couldn’t find it to grow heavy, having done nothing but sob and sleep for the past twenty-four hours. Instead, your focus turned to the radio, a familiar song trickling out of the speaker, one you hadn’t heard in almost eighteen months. 
“Is this…” You ask, fingers reaching towards the dial, turning the volume up slightly. Behind his sunglasses, Charles grins. You hadn’t expected him to recognise the song, let alone be aware of where he recognised it from. 
“Our first dance.” Your husband laughs, both nodding your head to the music. One hand on the wheel, he reached out his other hand to grasp yours on his own, a gentle squeeze passing through each hand. “We’ll have to dance to it again, properly next time.” He promises to himself, eyes focused on the road as he continues to drive you both home. 
It’s almost dark by the time you have arrived back at your driveway. The stones are dipped in the darkness, the only illumination being from the headlights of Charles’ iconic vehicle. Your eyes flicker towards the doorstep, convinced the sleep is playing tricks on your mind; why on earth was there a figure standing on the doorstep to your house? They were slim, feminine, holding a cream envelope in one hand, a designer bag resting atop the other. 
The familiar feeling of who she was began to nestle in your stomach. Surely, it couldn’t have been her; even your husband would not have the audacity to invite her to the house, right after you had returned home from what was quite possibly the saddest moment of your life. It couldn’t be her, even if every sign pointed towards the truth, you’d begin to search for the tiniest detail; her hair was too short. Your stomach snaps when you realize it’s the identical haircut from the Paddock mere days ago. 
“What on earth-“ You hear your husband begin to speak, turning off the engine to the car. He looks over to your figure, but you show no emotion, no reaction on the exterior. Immediately, he has stepped out of the car, violently slamming the door behind him, causing you to snap out of the trance the woman had placed you upon. 
Your eyes fixed upon Charles, his mistress trying to reach out into his touch. She’d pressed the envelope into his hand, continuing to speak. The words were clear through the thin glass of the car’s windscreen, divorce, pictures, evidence. 
You couldn’t stick around to watch this activity play out. Immediately, you reach out for your phone, breathing uneven as you scroll through the contact list, searching for his name. Despite the last twenty-four hours, you were not too sure who else to call. It takes less than a moment for him to answer, your words rambling and falling over one another, pleading for him to come and collect you. He speaks firmly, commanding you to stay in the car, he would be there as soon as possible. 
Charles is so deep in conversation, pleading for his mistress to reconsider, that he doesn’t see you slip out of the car, stepping down the driveway into the awaiting car of Carlos Sainz. He makes no intention to show you affection when first stepping into the vehicle, his only intention to get you out of the situation as soon as possible. Whilst silence filled the space between you both, you had sent a text to your husband, confirming your disappearance. 
23:01: You
I’m so sorry, I can’t be there when she is, not anymore. I’ll be back at the house tomorrow. Thank you for everything.  
There’s no response. If you’re completely honest, you were not expecting anything else, not whilst he was engrossed in conversation. The street is quiet as you pull into Carlos’ driveway. Saying nothing, the man simply removes his keys from the ignition, before leaning over your frame to open your door, ever the gentleman. Of course, his eyes catch yours as he leans back, creating a deep gaze for oh-so-long. Carefully slipping out of his gaze, you leave the car, walking up the steps to his apartment, the door opening for your arrival. 
It's homely. Clearly lived in. Shoes are thrown across the entrance mat, coats hanging in the rack. Although it is primarily basic, a little bare, there’s touches around the complex which warm your heart; a photograph of the man with his sisters and father, a helmet you immediately recognise as Lando Norris’ resting atop of a bookshelf. There’s fine wine glasses resting atop of his coffee table; clearly ready for their usage before your untimely call. 
The details become irrelevant the moment you feel his warm arms circle around your middle; the rising of your hoodie lets his body heat radiate onto yours. Carlos doesn’t need to say anything, his face comes towards the joint between your neck and your shoulder, using his nose to brush your hair away, exposing the skin he craves to mark. 
“Mariposa.” He whispers, hiding his expression in your soft skin. “I can explain her, I can explain who she is, I didn’t-“ 
This time, it’s you who rolls around in Carlos’ touch, your arms entwining around his neck, pulling his lips to touch yours. The Spaniard does not need convincing, his grip on your waist immediately tightening, pushing your bodies closer together, if that was even humanly possible. This time, when his lips begin to trail down your neck, there’s no hesitation left in your mind, letting the man dance across your skin, leaving small bites, trails of his tongue against you. 
You realize it’s you, making a small whine as he pulls away from your body, catching his breath whilst his tanned arms reach to the bottom of his shirt, exposing his chest once more. This time, your fingers fumble to find the hem of your hoodie, pulling the clothing atop of your head, exposing the laciest bra Carlos had ever seen. There’s a grunt from the back of his mouth as he darts forward, one rough palm scooping your breast from the lingerie, his mouth immediately finding your nipple, tongue tracing across the sensitive skin whilst his stubble rubs against your exposed flesh. 
He doesn’t let up, not even when your legs go weak. His mouth remains firmly attached, using his arms to instead scoop you into his grasp, your whining sheer pornography to his ears whilst he carries you into his bedroom. 
He will simply ruin you for every other person, and god forbid if he lost you now. 
You realize hours later, somewhere between your post-orgasm haze and the combined warmth of Carlos’ hoodie and his firm arms that best friends did not have intense, body-numbing sex in the middle of the night, specifically when one of them was married, the other one a close friend of her husband. Yet, it somehow feels normal, as if this had been the longest impending explosion. Of course, you had explained to the man the reasoning for calling him out so late, for him to simply hush you, promising you would have never been a burden to him. The further questions of what is to come next are pushed to the back of your mind. 
Your sleeping state misses two key moments. The first? The slight camera shutter from a phone as Carlos places his device back on the nightstand, snuggling down into the blankets, his dream to hold you whilst he slept finally arising.
The second? Your phone finally buzzed with a response from your husband, unable to sleep without knowing you were in the large house alongside him. 
02:51: Charles Leclerc
I’m in love with you.
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sleepyjuice · 3 months
Note
10 + 16 with jj please? (maybe smth like going back to the chateau the night john b and sarah “die” and consoling each other with a bit of badly timed tension? or any other ideas you have!)
I loved this so much!!!! what a bittersweet concept 😭
warnings: some angst (canon events for the most part from the show), liiilll bit of fluff, smut 18+!!!!!, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, jj being an absolute dream in this<3
No one ever prepares you for what you’re supposed to do after learning that two of your best friends were most likely dead and you would never see them again.
You somewhat prepare yourself in life for moments where you are inevitably going to lose people, but once the moment is over, then what?
As you and jj walked silently back to the chateau after what had turned into one of the worst days of your life, you wished more than ever that someone somewhere had written your entire life out for you so that you could ask them for all the answers. How to just go on with your life after something so traumatic.
Pope and Kiara had gone home with their parents which left just you and your boyfriend, jj. You were sure your parents were worried about you, surely they had heard what happened, but you hadn’t checked your phone in hours.
jj opened the door to the much too quiet chateau once you arrived, tears falling from both of you once again as you stepped into a place that held some of the best memories of your lives, now empty. It just felt wrong to be there without John b and Sarah.
Everywhere you looked was a different memory. The silly arguments on the couch, the beers you all shared in the kitchen, and of course, John b’s bedroom, bed unmade from the last time he slept there, clothes on his dresser that he would never get to wear.
“It doesn’t feel right here without them.” jj broke the silence, his voice low as he removed his hat, kicking an empty beer can that lay on the floor across the room.
You nodded in agreement, stepping over to jj and wrapping your arms around his middle, your head resting against his chest as you sighed.
“It really doesn’t.” You responded, one of your hands rubbing gently against his back.
“You staying here tonight?” You asked him after a moment, tilting your head to gaze up at your boyfriend, his arms holding you close to him.
jj nodded in response, resting his chin on the top of your head, exhaling slowly into your hair as he shut his eyes. He had never lost someone in this way, and he didn’t know how he was supposed to handle it. He was a spontaneous person by nature, but this was way too much of a curveball to even begin to figure out.
You stood there in each other’s arms for a few minutes, the only sounds being the soft rain outside and the clunky AC that surprisingly still worked humming softly.
jj was the first to break the silence.
“Can you stay?” He asked quietly, pulling away slowly from the shared embrace to look down at your sunken eyes.
You met his gaze instantly, bringing a hand up to run your fingers through the bottom of his hair, nodding your head in response.
“Of course I’ll stay. I don’t think either of us should be alone right now.” You spoke softly, exhaling shakily, feeling genuinely unsure if breathing would ever feel the same again after today’s events.
So you stayed. You and jj ended up showering together, both of you eventually getting uncomfortable in your wet clothes that were dampened from the storm.
You shared a joint, both for yourselves and in john b and Sarah’s honor. John b especially would smile at the fact that two of his best friends were lighting up in his home the night he died. Regardless of why you did it, it was something at least semi normal in your nightly routine.
You and jj didn’t talk too much, but there was never any awkward silence. Finding conversation at a time like this was yet another challenge you would face.
So you called it a night at around 3 am, kissing goodnight after crawling into jj’s bed. Maybe by some miracle you would wake up to find that it was all just a super realistic nightmare. An epic prank by your subconscious.
You lay with your back facing jj, one of his arms wrapped loosely around your waist, the room just dimly lit by the moonlight that shined through the window. You focused on jj’s soft breathing, assuming that he had fallen asleep, hoping and praying that sleep would also find you soon.
That was too much to ask for, as your mind could not stop replaying the earlier events over and over, making it impossible to get some rest. You shut your eyes anyways, hoping at some point you would become too physically exhausted and your body’s need for sleep would win this battle.
You were close to giving up and allowing yourself a sleepless night, when you suddenly felt jj’s hand move softly down your waist, rubbing down to your thigh.
“You awake?” He murmured quietly, almost positive you were still awake based on your unsteady breathing, but on the off chance you were asleep, he didn’t want to disturb you.
You turned your head at the sound of his voice, meeting his tired eyes. Although he also looked like he hadn’t slept yet.
“Yeah, can’t sleep,” you sighed, pushing your body back slightly into his touch, “my mind is goin’ a mile a minute right now. Can’t think of anything else.” You admitted, watching as he nodded in understanding.
“Yeah, same.” He hummed, planting a few soft kisses on your shoulder blades before resting his head there.
“Maybe we could try and distract ourselves…” jj whispered against your soft skin, kissing it again as he awaited your response, his body now fully pressed against yours.
“What do you mean?” You questioned quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. You had an idea what he meant, and you pressed your ass back ever so gently to meet his crotch, testing the waters.
He let out a soft sigh at the feeling, tilting his head up to kiss your neck, his hand focusing on rubbing your thigh, slowly but surely inching its way towards your inner thigh.
“Just— feel something other than this pain, y’know?” He confirmed your suspicions as he began to grind his boxer clad dick against your ass, his kisses becoming a bit more lustful and his fingers now grazing against the waistband of your underwear.
“Yeah..” you breathed, nodding your head as you tilted your neck, granting jj easier and better access to kiss and nip at your sensitive skin there.
You felt him nod against you, his half hard dick now fully hard against your ass as he continued to grind against it.
He groaned softly before tugging gently at your underwear, his unspoken command leading you to pull them down off your legs, leaving you completely naked besides the shirt you were wearing. You felt jj rid himself of his boxers after you, leaving him fully naked now as they were all he had gone to bed in to begin with.
You moaned quietly once you felt him freely, your body reacting quickly to his sensual touch, arousal pooling between your legs as you pushed your ass against his fully hard cock.
“Let’s just forget for right now, yeah?” jj hummed, using his free hand to guide his cock between your wet folds, gathering your arousal to coat himself, pumping himself softly as he used both your wetness and his precum to lubricate himself.
“Mhm, let’s forget.” You spoke, barely a whisper. You hadn’t moved much from your original position. Your back was still facing jj, only now you had positioned your ass upwards just a bit so that you could align yourself to give jj access to you.
He didn’t respond verbally, pumping himself a few more times before aligning his cock with your wet entrance, slowly pushing himself inside of you.
You both let out a long, still quiet, moan at the feeling, your walls hugging his cock immediately as he began to move slowly inside of you.
The two of you had slow and soft sex plenty of times, typically after a long night when you were both super tired but still in need of a release, or early morning when you were sleepy but still needing one another. But this was a different type of need.
“So good, baby, feels so good.” jj cooed, his face pressed against your neck, eyes shut and brows furrowed in concentration, both of your minds forced to focus on the physical feeling of pleasure you allowed yourselves to feel.
You whimpered into the pillow, arching your back slightly so he could reach even deeper inside of you, reaching one of your arms behind you to caress the back of jj’s head, your fingers kneading into his messy hair.
The only sounds heard in the dark bedroom were your soft grunts and moans mixed with the sound of jj’s balls slapping against your ass. Not nearly as loud as this particular bedroom usually was during times like these, but that wasn’t what you needed right now.
jj reached one of his hands over the curve of your ass to find your clit, rubbing circles against it as he continued to thrust himself inside of you. He already felt pretty close, with his emotions being completely heightened, and he wanted to make sure you were able to finish too.
You squeezed your eyes shut as he worked at your clit, all the while his cock was hitting the perfect spots inside of you, your pussy beginning to clench around him as you whimpered, your breathing growing more ragged.
“I’m close, jay, fuck. Gonna come.” You gasped, feeling your muscles begin to contract as your body was hit with euphoria, a feeling that would be far from your grasp for a long time. After tonight you had to grieve, so you relished in this small moment of pleasure you were able to feel.
“Fuck, good baby— yeah, so good. I’m close, fuck, I’m close too, sweets.” jj grunted, your orgasm had your pussy clenching and hugging his cock even tighter, your release soaking him which triggered him to follow.
“Fuuuck, oh god,” he stammered, thrusts sloppy as he felt himself release into you, groaning loudly into your skin as he filled you with thick spurts, “yeah, yeah, perfect, baby.”
You moaned as he filled you up, your pussy fluttering at the feeling of fullness, his release feeling perfect as you came down from your own.
“So good, jj.” You said shakily as he pulled out of you, feeling him kiss the back of your neck before using his thumb to turn your head to face him.
“Thank you, baby, thank you.”
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Text
I Want It All: Part 3
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Part 1, Part 2
Astarion x AsexaulBard!Tav Masterlist
Astarion x Reader, Astarion x Tav, Astarion x Asexual!Reader, Astarion x Bard!Reader
Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Soft!Astarion, Allusion to Astarion's Past (Sexual Assult/Dissociation)
Summary: You and Astarion had been playing this little game of yours for a while; he pretends to care, you pretend not to fall for it. It’s easy, even fun at times. The trouble is, what happens the moment you can’t pretend anymore?
A/N: Holy shit! It's done! Thank you so much to everyone who has commented and reblogged and just...everything. I cannot tell you how much it means to be to know this story has resonated with so many people. I don't have any plans to continue this as a larger story (I still haven't played the game); however, if anyone would like to send requests for small one-shots or headcanons involving Astarion and this Asexual!Tav, feel free to send me an ask.
Also, sorry if I didn't tag you. There were a lot of request, so I stuck to those who asked on the previous chapter.
And as always REBLOG AND COMMENT IF YOU LIKE THIS! I NEED VALIDATION TO SURVIVE!!!
Word Count: 5.2K
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You didn’t sleep that night, but what else did you expect?
For hours you simply lay in the dark, staring at the window. The patter of rain was the only source of sound besides your own breathing. Even that small comfort didn’t last as the storm passed leaving behind cloud covered silence.
No tears came to you.  What had you to grieve over? Everything you felt had been a product of your imagination. You knew that.
Still, it ached.  There was a throbbing in your throat you couldn’t swallow down and a constant pressure behind your eyes.  You almost wished you would cry, just to get it out of your system. If you could have a nice little breakdown, there was a chance you could get over this. It would be the slap in the face you needed to accept reality. Maybe then you’d stop doing this to yourself.
All the same, it stayed there, pressing heavy on your chest until the sun teased the edges of the clouds beaconing morning.
You groaned, burying your face into the pillow. You couldn’t lie and wallow the rest of the day. You had things to do, places to be, worms to destroy. The sooner you had something else to occupy your thoughts the better.
With an effort you pulled yourself out of bed and slowly made your way to the dining room.
You were a bit surprised to see everybody already up. Wyll, Karlach, Lae’zel, Shadowheart, and Gale were already seated with plates of half eaten food in front of them.  Two seats were still empty, settings ready and untouched. A quick look around confirmed the rest, Astarion had yet to make an appearance.
“Morning everyone,” you said, trying your best to be cheerful as you sat yourself between Gale and Wyll.  
You could feel all their eyes on you, no doubt noticing the dark circles under yours.
“Morning,” Gale greeted. “I trust you slept well.”
He let out a small yelp of pain.
You looked up to catch him glaring at Shadowheart as she shot him a disapproving look.
You frowned. Did she just kick him?
“I mean, ah, did you lie comfortably?” he amended.
“Seriously?” Karlach questioned.
You swore you could feel the heat of Gale’s blush, as he grumbled into his toast. “Damn it, you know what I mean.”
“Do I?” you asked.
“We just hoped you spent the rest of the night…pleasantly,” Wyll tried, and ultimately failed.
Your stomach flipped, as harsh, dreadful realization washed over you.  Yes, of course they would.
“You don’t look well,” Lae’zel noted. “After all his boasting, I had thought Astarion would leave his partners more satisfied.”
You didn’t say anything, deciding to take a bite of egg as an excuse. Now would be a great time for the ground to open and swallow you into the hells. Gods knew it would be an improvement.
“She’s right,” Shadowheart said, sounding a little annoyed to admit it. “You do look tired and not the good kind. Did something happen?”
“Did he hurt you,” Wyll said, his brow furrowing in sudden concern.
“What?! No!” you said quickly. “Nothing happened.”
“How’d you mean nothing happened?” Karlach put in. “We all saw what we saw. How could anyone turn down all of that?”
Fresh embarrassment washed over you, making you wish you could erase the last twenty-four hours and crawl into the nearest, deepest hole. You had spent the whole night worried about what Astarion would make of your vision, you had all but forgotten you had shared that part of yourself with all of your companions. Of course they would have their own interpretations.
“It wasn’t like that.”
A quick look around the table gave away the doubtful thoughts of all.  
You took a deep breath, willing yourself to calm. They weren’t going to believe you if you were emotional about this.
“Look, I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine. As I said, nothing happened. We talked, and it became clear that we just want different things. That’s the beginning and the end of it. Now are we done or are you all going to keep chattering on like a bunch of fishwives?”
The silence at the table was palpable as everyone exchanged looks.
Alright, maybe being calm wasn't a realistic expectation, but you hadn’t lied. Sure, there were some details you neglected to share, but that really was the long and the short of it. He hadn’t done anything wrong and neither had you. It just didn’t work out.
The plain truth of it settled in your heart carving out a hollow space for it to lay in.
Gale was the first to act, clearing his throat. “Fair enough, the matter is closed. Please, accept our apology. With such an intimate group as ours, it’s sometimes easy to forget that one’s personal matters can be well and truly personal.”
He looked at the rest of the group, each nodding in agreement to various degrees of reluctancy.
“Just for the record though, if you need someone to knock some sense into that pretty boy’s head, you just need to ask,” Karlach offered. 
Despite yourself, you had to smile. “I’ll think about it.”
You then turned to Gale, who met you with kind eyes and a comforting smile. You let yourself be warmed by it, even if you still felt a little guilty for snapping. He really did understand. It was easy for heartbreak to recognize heartbreak.
“Thank you,” you murmured. 
To your surprise, his first instinct wasn’t to reach for words, but rather your hand as he gave your fingers a gentle squeeze. 
“Anytime.” 
“Good morning everyone. Gossiping without me?”
You whipped your head around to find Astarion standing near the head of the table, a sardonic smile on his lips and a hard glare in his eyes.  No doubt he had heard everything. 
Everybody shifted in their seats, glancing between you and Astarion. You averted your gaze, focusing hard on the table in front of you. 
Gale’s hand still rested over yours. Whatever comfort it had given you, faded as something akin to panic flooded your veins. In the next second, you rose from your chair, scraping it hard against the floor in your hurry. 
“I’ve still got some packing to do,” you said. “Be back down in a few.” 
Coward’s way out? Yes, but after the night you had, you figured you were entitled to it. 
Keeping your head down, you slipped past Astarion, feeling him watch you as you made your way back up the stairs. 
If you had lingered a moment, you might have caught the flash of hurt in his eyes. You might have noticed how his clothes were more rumpled than usual. You might even have seen his hand twitch with the instinct to reach for yours. But you didn’t see, and anything that might have happened disappeared in a brush of air. 
-----------------------
The next several days carried on in much the same way.  Not as torturous as that first morning, but still a drudge of avoidance and awkward silences. 
In your defense, Astarion seemed just as keen to keep his distance. Where he used to be your preverbal shadow, filling the hours of travel with idle teasing and conversation, now he kept to the back, his mouth decidedly shut. 
The others caught on and seemed determined to make up the difference. Karlach, Shadowheart and Wyll especially made a point to walk alongside you, telling stories and jokes in an attempt to make you smile. 
You did your best. They meant well, but in some ways they only served to emphasize the absence of another. 
Gale, on the other hand, had the foresight to try a different approach. He made it clear he didn’t expect you to talk, but always made sure you had the best spot by the fire and a little extra of whatever he made for the camp. You had to wonder if Tara had provided a similar comfort to him after Mystra. It was obvious he had the practice. 
Even Lae’zel offered to help you train it off, something about how your, “objectively weak body had left the rest of you vulnerable to attack”. A part of you felt the insult, but the gesture was appreciated. 
Honestly, all of this care was starting to make you feel guilty. None of them were giving Astarion the same courtesy. He wasn’t being shunted exactly, but the message was loud and clear; they were on your side. 
This was met by him taking a step back from the late night conversations. His interactions with the others were kept short and lacked his usual humorous flare. He took his shifts on watch alone and he spent even more time either roaming the forest or in his tent. 
The only person he consistently spoke to was Gale, which should have raised some alarm bells on their own, but you never caught what they were discussing. All you knew was Astarion never appeared especially pleased while Gale gave a look of someone begging the gods for patience. 
All of this was your fault. You just wanted things to go back to normal. Even if you couldn’t be with Astarion the way you imagined, you still valued his friendship.  If this kept up, there was a chance he might decide to leave all together. An olive branch was needed, something to signal you didn’t hold a grudge or expect anything more. 
The answer came to you one early evening as you took note of his haggard looks and less than graceful steps out of camp.  He hadn’t fed on you in a week and there was only so much deer and boar could do. 
You considered simply offering up your neck, but that felt too forward. Besides, you weren’t sure if you were ready to have him that close. The only other solution you could think of was to bleed yourself somehow. 
This proved more difficult than you first imagined. Astarion seemed to have an instinct for where to bite, balancing enough blood for himself without causing any permanent damage. You couldn’t boast the same. It took more than one cut to fill an empty goblet with what you hoped to be the right amount of blood. You’d ask Shadowheart to heal you properly later. Hopefully she’d accept a poorly executed knife trick as an excuse. 
You wrapped your wrist as best you could and, watching to make sure the others weren’t looking, slipped into Astarion’s tent. 
You were immediately hit with the scent of bergamot, rosemary, and aged brandy. A sense of calm washed over you at the familiar combination, settling comfortably in your lungs as you took in the space.
 A single candle remained lit, allowing just enough light for you to appreciate the rich purple and red fabrics lining the walls as well as the sheer number of pillows littering the floor. How he managed to pack so many was a mystery you doubt you would ever solve. The whole set up was down right ornate, but considering this was Astarion you were talking about, you shouldn’t have been surprised. 
It was only then you realized you’d never been inside before. He’d invited you more than once, but you’d always turned him down preferring to keep your feeding session in the open air. You had known, even then, any closer would give the wrong impression; all for naught it seemed.
You pushed the thought aside, pulling your attention back to the matter at hand. There had to be some place you could put the goblet where he wouldn’t knock it over. Why did he have to keep a side table outside the tent?
A shuffle came from just outside. Focusing your ears, you caught the tread of boots on grass transition to the nearly silent carpet just outside the tent flap. You turned using those handful of extra seconds to school your features into something passively innocent as Astarion ducked inside.
His whole body froze, his arm holding the fabric above his head as his eyes went wide. For a long moment, neither of you said anything. 
You took advantage of his momentary shock to examine his appearance more closely. He looked…well, tired and more than a little confused. No blood marked his shirt or his lips. His pants appeared to have taken a tear or two from a bramble bush. Even his hair looked just a bit disheveled in a way so unlike himself.  
“No luck hunting?” you said, unable to keep the concern out of your voice. 
He stared, as if your words were coming from somewhere far away and required extra time to reach his ears.
“I’ve had better,” he finally said. 
You nodded in understanding, shifting awkwardly as your eyes went to the goblet in your hands. 
“Here,” you offered. “No offense, but you look like you could use it.”
He gave a tight smile. “I’d say no offense taken, but this is me we’re talking about.” All the same, he took the cup, sniffing it cautiously. He blinked hard, his brows furrowing as he stuck his nose further into the cup and took a deep whiff. 
“Is this yours?” he asked. 
You shrugged, holding up your bandaged wrist. “Whose else would it be?”
His mouth parted slightly as if to say something before closing it again. 
“You didn’t have to do that,” he said, his tone oddly serious. 
“I know,” you assured. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Once again, he opened his mouth as if to speak, but instead released a breath of a laugh, allowing whatever tension he had formed in those last few seconds to fall from his shoulders. 
“I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but it seems I can’t help it with you.” 
Before you could ask him what exactly he meant, he raised the goblet to his lips and drank. 
The effect was instantaneous. Your blood met his tongue and any control he had slipped away. His pupils dilated to those of a predator as he guzzled the whole thing down in two deep swallows. He let out a gasp of air before returning to the cup, licking the sides so not to waste a drop. A low hum of bliss came from deep in his chest as he savored the rest, allowing his fingers to scrap the bottom before bringing it back to his mouth. 
The sight should have left you horrified, but in truth, it was encouraging. Things would be different, but you could at least provide him this. 
“Do you need more?” you asked. 
This time his laugh was loud and genuine as he wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand before licking the remains; yet another thing you found inexplicably endearing. He really was just a big cat sometimes. 
“Dangerous thing to offer me in this state, darling,” he said. “Luckily for you, I found a nice burrow of rabbits yesterday.” 
Once satisfied there was truly nothing left, he set the goblet down on the ground before turning his attention to your wrist. 
“Let me see,” he said, reaching out a hand. 
“It’s fine,” you promised. “I’ll get Shadowheart to look at it later.” 
“I’ll be the judge of that, give it here.”
Knowing there was no fighting him, you relented, allowing him to unwrap the bandages.  
He visibly winced as he examined the litter of harsh scratches along your skin. “What did you use? A rusty spoon?” 
“I had trouble finding a good vein,” you said, feeling the need to defend yourself. You hadn’t thought it looked that bad. 
“Oh is that all? And here I thought you’d lost an argument with a displacer beast.” 
You pressed your lips into an annoyed line, but Astarion was already digging around his pack, coming back with a salve and potion of healing.  
“Drink this.”
You shook your head, ignoring the pleasant little flutter in your chest at the gesture. “I told you, I’ll just ask Shadowheart.”
“Oh this isn’t just for you,” he said, dryly. “Do you think I want her believing you’d willingly butcher yourself just to give me a proper meal? Neither of us would hear the end of it.” 
A small flush of embarrassment worked up your neck. He was right, of course. The party really hadn’t been subtle in their disapproval. It was the reason you had tried for discretion. 
Without further protest you accepted the potion. 
This seemed to appease him as he quickly got to work on applying the salve. 
He had bought it not long after you had come to your little feeding arrangement. It helped to sooth small cuts and bruises while minimizing the threat of scars. He had initially offered to provide…other services to relieve the pain, but you had declined. This was the compromise. You’d offered to do it yourself, but he insisted, claiming it was the least he could do. In truth, it was all very…transactional. 
This felt different. The hesitation he so often held, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop, was gone. His touch was gentle, his expression focused and his body oddly relaxed. It didn’t feel like an obligation, but an act of kindness, one he was more than willing to give. 
Any nerves that remained slipped away.  You could find a way to live with this. Certainly it was more than others had given you in the past. 
Once he was done, he pulled fresh bandages from his bag and began redressing your wounds with decidedly more precision than you had. 
“I am glad you’re here,” he said, breaking the silence. “I was hoping we could talk.”
A sharp sting of anxiety pressed itself into your skin. 
“Oh?” 
He nodded, tying off the bandage. “I think it’s important.”
You swallowed. The instinct to run pulled at your feet, but you managed to keep it in check. You owed him that much. 
“Well, I’m here so…let’s talk.”
He breathed out an audible sigh of relief, raising his hands up as he took a small step back.
“Just stand there a moment. Don’t move.”
He spun around, rummaging through various bags before letting out a cry of triumph. He stepped back holding what looked to be a violin string glowing with magical golden light. 
Your head tilted to the side as your eyes narrowed. “Is that…?”
“Part of the violin, yes,” he admitted. “Bit of a story. Short version, Gale was able to extract one of the strings. It shouldn’t cause any permanent damage to the instrument, as far as I know.” 
You raised a doubtful eyebrow. “And Gale just let you pluck this from his tent did he?”
Astarion shifted uncomfortably. “Not exactly. I, ah, may have had some trouble understanding how it worked and…inquired as to his assistance.”
“You asked Gale for help?” you asked, astonished.
“Don’t make me relive the experience,” he lamented. “He told me the strings themselves have different magical properties in order to create the effect you demonstrated the other night. Apparently this one alone compels people to tell the truth.” 
He then took the string and carefully wrapped it around his wrist before handing the other half to you. 
Your eyes widened, glancing between him and the offered cord. “What are you doing?”
“Leveling the playing field,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
You shook your head, taking a step back. “You don’t have to do that.”
His lips curved into a self deprecating smile. “I think I do though. I haven’t been honest with you and…while that’s not exactly unique to you, the regret I have is. So you see, it really is a selfish action. If I’m to be free of this, I need to know for certain you understand that what I say next is the truth…all of it.” 
Your mouth opened to protest, but the words caught in your throat. The expression on his face was one you had never seen before. While he did his best to hide under his usual indifferent airs, his eyes gave him away. You’d never seen them so open and unsure. 
Slowly, you took the other end, feeling a familiar tingle spread through your fingers. 
“Alright,” you said, cautiously. “What’s your favorite color?”
Flashes of red shot across your vision, moonlit skies and a pair of eyes you only just caught to be your own before the image settled on something else entirely.
“Pink,” Astarion blurted.
Your eyebrows shot up as the start of a delighted smile spread across your face.
 “And orange,” he amended quickly, “and dark blue and…honestly just the color of the sky at sunrise.” He pouted as if annoyed at the words that escaped his lips, but he shook it off. “Alright, you had your little test run. Give me something harder.” 
You considered a moment. It was very tempting to continue on with some more embarrassing questions, but that wasn’t the purpose of all of this. Best to start at the beginning. 
“What did you think of me when we first met?” you asked.
He grimaced, guilt evident not just through his averted gaze but the tug of the string between you. “You were a target,” he admitted. “At best a convenient meat shield. You were just so…open, ready to trust. Manipulating you would be easy.”
You took a deep breath, ignoring the stab of pain between your ribs. You should have expected as much. He wasn’t exactly subtle. 
“And that’s what you were trying to do the other night, manipulate me?”
“Yes.”
Another stab of guilt, a flash of your own back walking out of a candle lit room as a hand that was not your own reached hopelessly outward. 
Your actual jaw clenched. “I don’t need your pity.”
“It’s not pity.”
“Then what?!” you snapped. “Hells bells Astarion, do you even like me?”
“You drive me to acts of insanity,” he said indignantly, raising up the glowing cord around his wrist as proof. “Do you think I’d willing subject myself to days of Gale’s passive aggressive commentary on my personal life for just anyone? Of course I like you. Gods below!”
You stared, unable to deny the waves of exasperation mixed with the sound of your own laughter as heard through another’s ears. Something warm and unfamiliar bloomed in the chest of the body opposite you making your mind spin, as you tried to re-establish the divide. 
“Why did you ask me to come to you?” you asked. “What were you hoping to gain?”
Astarion took a deep breath. It was only then you noticed how tightly he was holding the chord linking you.
“I was hoping to get back on track,” he said, slowly. “I had a plan when we met. A nice simple plan. Seduce you, bed you, manipulate your emotions so you’d never turn on me. It was easy…instinctive.” 
He met your eyes and for the first time, you felt him fight against the images threatening to breach the gap between you. You caught the barest flashes, memories of half forgotten faces passing by one after another. Shame and vile brushed the edges of your mind, and quickly faded as Astarion regained control. 
“But, you seemed immune to my attempts,” he continued. “I could tell you enjoyed my attentions, but you never asked for more. My simple plan that had worked on countless targets, couldn’t get off the ground. And yet, you still gave me blood, protection…trust. I couldn’t understand it. I found myself wanting to know more, to know you. To anticipate what you would ultimately ask in exchange. And then that night, you showed me exactly what it was you desired.”
Something slipped through. You saw yourself in the center of the tavern with darkness surrounding you. A rise of fear entered your heart as you heard your name called from familiar lips. And then, the world shifted, light came back into the world and it was…beautiful. 
“I thought I finally understood you,” he said. “A poor repressed urchin who had been hurt one too many times. All that was required was a more gentle touch. I could provide that. It wouldn’t be the first time.” 
He paused, his expression softening. “And then you had to do the most inconsiderate thing and surprise me all over again: you asked for my heart, in exchange for yours. I should have been elated. It meant my plan had worked, not the way I intended, but you had fallen for it…for me. The trouble was, I hadn’t accounted for the possibility that I would fall for you.”
You stared, unable to say anything as a well of emotion threatened to burst from you. It was as if someone pulled a bow across your chest, creating a resonating sound that moved in harmony with your very soul. 
It was true, all of it. 
By some miracle, you wrestled back control over your lungs and tongue. 
“Why didn’t you say anything?” 
“I didn’t know how,” he admitted. “Even if I had, would you have believed me?”
You averted your gaze. It was answer enough. 
“It’s alright,” he said, offering a wry smile. “Smart really. I wouldn’t have believed me either.” 
You nodded in appreciation, your mind still reeling from everything he had just confessed. 
“What are you thinking?” he asked. 
You frowned, unable to shake a question that had been stirring for some time. 
“Do you even want to have sex with me?”
His eyebrows shot into his hairline, his mouth falling open. “I’m standing here baring my soul to you and that’s what you ask?”
“You asked me what I was thinking,” you defended. “Besides, it’s a relevant question.” 
He looked like he wanted to argue, but let it go just as quickly with a huff. 
“Well?” you prompted. 
He made a series of non-commital noises, his mouth half forming words before being wrenched in another direction. The chord between you glowed brighter, twisting just a little deeper into his skin.
“I…don’t really know,” he said, slightly stilted, as if surprised by his own answer. “To be clear, I do find you physically enticing. In that aspect at least, I’d hardly qualify bedding you a chore, but... I spent two centuries using lust and desire to lure people back to him. In that time I developed the habit of taking myself out of my body, looking at it as if it were happening to somebody else.  Even in those rare times it could be pleasurable, I still walked away feeling nothing but disgust and loathing. I don’t want those feelings associated with you. At the same time, I can’t help thinking that if we were together, it would be different. But, don’t take that to mean I expect it. Like I said, I don’t even know if I want it. Honestly, before you said it, I didn’t know saying no was an option.”
You took all of that in, your heart clenching as the full weight of what Cazador did to him settled on your mind.  Red filed your vision, the sympathetic ache replaced with a rush of fury.  He was a dead man. One way or another, you would see Cazador bloodied by the end of all of this. But as quickly as it had come you let the emotion pass. This wasn’t about him.  You wouldn’t let him intrude any more on this moment. 
“What do you want from me then?” you asked, softly. 
To your relief, something familiar and teasing flashed across his face. 
“I thought I’d made that obvious.”
With his free hand, he cupped your cheek allowing his thumb to lightly caress your skin. His scarlet eyes burned not with lust, but something warmer and just as desperate. 
“You showed me the chorus of your heart. How could anyone look upon that and not desire it? The trouble is, the price you asked. I…I don’t know how to pay it. I don’t know how to be with someone that way, but I’m willing to learn. I want it all. I want you to have it all.” 
The connection between you burned hot in your hand, but you couldn’t let it go. It felt so warm, so real. It filled every empty part of you to the point of bursting and still you wanted more. You were insatiable. 
Astarion looked just as lost as you, his eyes glazed over with too many emotions for you to name. His body began to tremble. It was becoming too much. 
In an instant you pulled his hand away, unwrapping the chord from around his wrist and tossing it aside.
He took a sudden deep breath as if coming up for air after being submerged in deep water. 
“Shit,” he cursed, gulping for air. Closing his eyes, he ran a hand down his face as he tried to calm. 
Your eyes widened as you caught the angry marks left behind on his wrist. 
“Are you alright?”
He blinked hard as if clearing spots from his vision. “I’m fine. Wasn’t expecting that is all.” He turned his focus to you with a bewildered expression. “Does it always feel like that?”
“That’s admittedly a first for me,” you confessed. You reached out your hand, glancing at his injury. “Let me see.”
He followed your gaze frowning, as if surprised to note the welts forming on his wrist. Still he stepped closer allowing you to examine them without protest. 
“Does it hurt?” you asked. 
He shook his head. “Sort of numb, honestly, tingly.”
You nodded, swallowing hard to keep the rise of guilt and fear at bay. It didn’t help. 
“I’m sorry,” you said, quickly. 
He tilted his head, his eyes narrowing. “Don’t think a little thing like this is going to scare me off. I meant what I said. I intend to give you your fill.”
“You don’t have to give it all at once,” you promised. “I can be patient when it counts.” 
A sly smile turned at his lips. “I almost hope you won’t. You’re not the only one who's starving.”
Heat spread up your neck, something Astarion undoubtedly caught as he gave a low laugh. 
“Well, now that we’ve cleared the air, what happens next?” he asked. 
“I’m…not sure,” you admitted. “Nobody else has ever given me the chance to figure that out.” 
He nodded slowly, before taking a small step back. His head tilted as if to examine you from every angle. A question started to form on your tongue just as the start of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He suddenly straightened before placing a hand on his chest and regarded you with a deep bow. 
You grinned, matching him with a curtsy of your own. 
He then offered his hand, which you easily took before he pulled you just a little closer. Your other hand found his shoulder while his pressed lightly on your waist. And then you did what was only natural. You danced. 
It wasn’t anything elaborate. There was no fire or sparks of magic. You simply moved together to a song of your own imagination. It stirred in your chest, the barest pluck of a melody, but it was yours and his; the promise of a symphony to come.
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trumanbluee · 7 months
Text
the only time i feel i might get better - matty healy
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minors dni !! this is 17+ nsfw material !!!
please reblog if you like it! ᡣ𐭩
content: you get sick at matty's and he takes good care of you <3
word count: 4.6k
warnings: mention of vomit, oc is on her period :( , a bad ending, and matty being very very darling.
a/n: hi!! i know i said i wasn't going to post again for a bit but i think this is so cute and its just sitting in my drafts!! enjoy ( and pls reblog if you do! ) :)
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She groaned in her sleep, stirring slightly as she felt another cramp tear through her stomach, the ache travelling down into her legs as she tucked them to her chest, brows furrowing at the sudden pain. She hadn’t slept well all night, spending an hour of it with her head in the toilet, Matty holding her hair back and rubbing her back softly, bless his heart. 
Her heart dropped at the thought of him having to see her in that position, retching what little food was in her stomach, up. They were a relatively new couple, having been dating for almost 6 months, and, of course, she’d had her period around him, but she’d never gotten it at his place, and never felt as sick as she did right now around him either. She felt horrible, half from the pain in her slightly puffy, bloated, lower belly, and half from the embarrassment of him seeing her like this. 
Fluttering her eyes open, she saw that Matty’s side of the bed was empty and, upon further inspection with her outstretched hand, he’d been up for a while, the sheets a crisp cold feeling compared to the warmth of her blanket cocoon. She sighed, wondering if he’d been able to go back to sleep at all after the nights events, before her thoughts of uncertainty were interrupted when he tiptoed into the room, obviously under the impression she was asleep, holding a tray of pancakes, orange juice, a cup of coffee, and a vase of fresh flowers. 
He stopped when he turned towards the bed, noticing her eyes peeking out from behind the fluffy duvet, and smiled softly, head tilting to the left as her asked her sweetly, “Morning, baby. Feelin’ any better today?”
This earned him a firm shake of her head as she sat up in the bed, lip pouted slightly to show him her discontent. He cooed, placing the tray of food in front of her on the bed, ensuring the legs of the miniature table were stable before he sat down on the other side of the bed, planting a soft kiss to her temple. 
“Don’t have to eat it all if you don’t want, honey, I just wanted to wake you up with something nice after you had such a horrible night.” He said, sitting cross-legged next to her on the bed. He pointed to two little white tablets that lay next to her orange juice. “Brought you some Panadol too, baby. Make sure you eat at least a little before you take it, don’t want you getting sick again, yeah?”
She nodded, “Thank you so much Matty,” She croaked, throat still sensitive from the acidic bile she’d thrown up in the night, “I’m sorry about last night.”
His eyebrows raised, face scrunching in disbelief as he tried to process what she’d just said. He moved closer to her on the bed, hand coming to rest on her knee above the blanket she’d wrapped herself in. 
“Sorry?” He tutted, shaking his head, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about baby, what'd you mean ‘sorry’?” His lips turned into a slight frown, disheartened at the fact that she felt the need to be sorry about being sick. 
“Ju-Just, you havin’ to stay up with me… I just feel a bit bad that I ruined our night, I guess,” She spoke sheepishly, noticing the disappointed look on his face as she spoke. 
“Oh sweetheart,” He cooed, moving to place the breakfast tray on the floor, before scooting close to her on the bed, pulling her into his chest, one hand rubbing her back in a light rhythm, the other combing through her hair. “You don’t have to say sorry, ‘kay? It’s my job to look after you. Don’t ever apologise for being sick, baby. It happens to everyone.” 
He felt her nod against his chest, and he stopped his fingers carding through her hair as she looked up at him, thinking twice about leaning up to kiss him as she realised she hadn’t brushed her teeth yet this morning.
Almost as if he was reading her mind, he shook his head, laughing to himself softly. 
“Baby, really?” He chuckled, brushing a little bit of sleep from her left eye with the soft pad of his thumb as he did so, “ You wanna kiss me, you can. I think we’re way beyond worrying about morning breath, don’t ya’ think, darlin’?”
She blushed, surprised that he could read her so well, shoving her face into the soft fabric of his white shirt, earning another chuckle from Matty, the sound rumbling in her mind and warming her insides, affecting her probably more than it should have given her in her ill state.
She detached from his chest, fishing the tray of food up off of the floor beside her, and placed it on the bed, before leaning into Matty again, his right arm wrapped around her as she picked at the sweet blueberries that decorated her pancakes.
She sighed contentedly, sipping on her orange juice as she lay, listening to Matty’s steady heartbeat as he sat beside her, twirling a lock of her hair around his finger lazily. She’d be lying if she said that this side of Matty didn’t turn her on, his need to comfort and protect her rising to the surface in a similar way as it did after he’d been particularly rough with her in bed. The idea of him taking care of her a particularly good one in her mind. 
She felt a familiar heat pooling between her thighs as she sat beside him, glancing up at him occasionally as he typed on his phone one-handed, most likely making note of lyrics he’d thought of, his brain constantly moving 100km an hour. She watched as his slender thumb glid smoothly across his screen, pressing the keyboard expertly.
‘This shouldn’t turn me on so much.’ She thought, biting her lip lightly as she shamelessly observed him, now sitting up further in the bed to gain a better view.
She blamed it on her period. Sure, Matty was hot, and, God, she’d fuck him 10 times a day if she had the stamina, lord knows he probably did, but getting turned on by typing? That’s pathetic.
Finally, he saw her out of the corner of his eye, lower lip between her teeth and cheeks a light red as she watched him. He raised an eyebrow, turned his head to face her quizzically.
“What are you looking at?” He smiled at her and she blushed, quickly averting her eyes to the half-eaten pancake in front of her, picking at it delicately.
He laughed softly, “Going shy on me, baby?” he asked, bringing the arm that was wrapped around her shoulder up to her hair, ruffling it playfully, before leaning down to press a firm kiss to her cheek.
She tucked herself deeper into his side, having once again discarded the tray of food onto Matty’s bedroom floor. He wrapped his arm around her once more, giving her a tight squeeze. 
“You okay, honey?” He asked softly, looking down at her as she lay on his chest, tracing her finger softly on the front of his t-shirt, “Feelin’ a bit clingy today? Is that it, huh?”
She nodded, moving impossibly closer to him, wrapping both her legs around his left, her arms wrapping around his bicep, clinging to him like a koala.
He chuckled softly at her, peering at her from the corner of his eye as he watched her cling to him desperately. His attention turned completely towards her however, when he heard a small whimper sound from next to him, at the same time as she’d fidgeted in her spot, causing her sensitive clit to lightly brush the side seam of his sweatpants through her thin sleep-shorts. 
His eyes shot down to her, fearing that she was having the same horrible cramps she experienced in the night. 
“You okay, baby? Tummy hurting again?” He asked, concern evident in his tone.
She was embarrassed, not wanting to admit that the sound was out of pleasure, not pain. So, she nodded, eyebrows creasing together as she looked up at him. 
It was insane how well he could read her. From the second they met, a couple of months before they’d started going out, it was like he could see into her mind and knew almost everything she thought and could anticipate what she was going to say next.
That’s why looking up at him was a huge mistake on her part. He knew as soon as he looked at her he knew that she was lying, and he thought he knew why.
“We’re not lying now, are we sweetheart?” He asked earnestly, looking into her eyes as he spoke. 
“W-what? Why would I lie?” She said, not expecting to be caught out so soon.
He raised his eyebrow at her, expecting her to have admitted her lie, “Oh, okay… so just now, when you wriggled around for a second, and I felt your cunt on my leg, it was just a coincidence that you made that little sound at the same time? Is that right?”
She flushed red, face turning to dig into his arm to hide, embarrassed at being read so easily, once again. She let out a muffled whine, annoyed both his teasing, and her horniness. 
He sat up from the bed, unlatching his arm from her grasp to face her.
“Baby,” He cooed, “want you to use your words when you feel like this, ‘kay? Want you to tell me what you want.” 
She nodded, still covering her flushed face, now with the duvet in place of his bicep.
“I just wanna make sure you’re feeling better after last night, honey. Don’t wanna hurt you or anything, y’know?” 
He looked torn. Torn between his restraint and not wanting to take advantage of her in such a vulnerable state, and his wanting to give her everything she wants on a whim. 
An idea popped into his head, and he stood from the bed, reaching down to peck a quick kiss to her forehead, muttering a ‘be right back’ before exiting the room.
She sat in his bed, awaiting his return as she sipped on the now lukewarm coffee he’d brought her. But it wasn’t very long before he came back, having discarded his shirt and sweats for reasons unbeknownst to her - though she wasn’t complaining, she could spend hours tracing the outlines of his tattoos - especially his ‘We Are Kings tattoo - whether that be with her eyes, fingertips, or tongue.
He walked over to her, boxer shorts hanging low on his hips, and flipped the duvet off her, reaching his hand out for her to take.
“C’mon baby,” He pulled her up, “ran us a bath.” He patted her on the bum softly as he walked past her and out into the hall. She followed dumbly, brain foggy from the tooth-rotting sweetness of their morning in bed together.
Stepping into the bathroom, she saw that not only had he drawn them both a bath, with bubbles in it, which she knew he didn’t like, but had meticulously placed candles around the edge of the bath.
She could’ve cried at the gesture, and she almost did, eyes growing blurry before she blinked the tears away quickly. 
Matty stepped into the bathroom behind her, kissing her on the side of her cheek, then neck, as he reached for the bottom of her (his) shirt, pulling it over her head softly, before tugging her pyjama shorts down. He helped her step into the warm bath, holding his hand out for her to balance on. Once she was in, and he’d made sure the water wasn’t too hot, he tugged his boxers down his legs before stepping into the bath himself, setting himself behind her so her back rested against his chest.
She sighed in content as he brought his large hands up to her shoulders, massaging her upper back soothingly. She leant her head back against his shoulder, Matty retracting his hands from her shoulders to wrap them around her, rubbing her arms up and down soothingly.
He lent down to kiss her on the cheek, instead meeting her lips as she quickly tilted her head to meet him. Meaning for it to be a quick peck, he was surprised when she deepened it, running her tongue along his bottom lip teasingly.
He pulled back, hand resting on her jaw as he guided her lips away. 
He sighed, “Baby… don’t make me be the bad guy,” he frowned, not wanting to tell her a strict no, but also not wanting to hurt her whilst she was in her particularly vulnerable state. 
“Please,” she pleaded, un-slotting her legs from between his beneath the bubbles to squeeze her thighs together desperately. 
He shook his head, shooting her a pleading look, “Honey, I just don’t want you to hurt yourself or to be sick again… I promise, once your period’s done I’ll do whatever you want me to, baby.”
She furrowed her brows in frustration, annoyed at his refusal. Of course, she couldn’t be that annoyed, he was only trying to ensure her comfort and safety, but this didn’t matter in her mind, not when she was this horny. What was she gonna do if he didn’t give in to her? Finger herself to no avail? They both knew that wouldn’t work, and she knew that Matty was the only one who could satiate the need in the pit of her belly.
She spun around in the bath, being careful not to spill any water out of the bath, before pushing away from him slightly to see him better. She huffed, whining “It’s not gonna hurt, promise.”
He raised an eyebrow at her, only now beginning to grasp just how desperate she was, watching as she crossed her legs, heeling digging against her clit harshly, causing her to hiss, wincing slightly at the sensitivity.
She sighed in frustration, pouting slightly as she looked at him with puppy dog eyes. 
“What if– what if I said it would make me feel better? I swear, baby, if it doesn’t feel good I’ll tell you to stop.” She pleaded, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. 
He eyed her carefully, thinking about it carefully. It couldn’t hurt to try, right?
He sighed, lips tugging into a smirk as he finally nodded, ushering for her to resume her previous position, between his legs, back pressed against him. 
He leant down to whisper in her ear, brushing some hair away from her face as he spoke, “Make sure you tell me the second it hurts even a little, okay darlin’?” 
She nodded, leaning her head back against his chest, lingering a soft kiss onto his chin. 
He traced his hands up and down her thighs beneath the water, her legs automatically widening like muscle memory. He laughed breathily in her ear at her eagerness, before sliding his right hand to her core, pressing light circles to her clit as he planted soft kisses along her neck, her having tilted it to the side to grant him further access. 
She moaned softly, bringing a hand up to play with the chocolate curls at the nape of his neck, tugging softly as he began to tease a finger around her entrance, keeping his slow rhythm on her clit. 
“Feel good, honey?” He spoke softly into her ear, not slowing his teasing motions, but not speeding up either. 
She nodded, brows furrowed as he slipped the tip of his index finger inside her. 
“Use your words, baby. Need to hear you say it, ‘kay?”
“F-feels good, Matty, promise.” She stuttered out, his fingers speeding up slightly on her clit for a millisecond, before it returned to its original speed. 
“Good girl,” he murmured in her ear, pushing his index finger into her cunt completely, her head slamming back to meet his chest as he curled it expertly.
Her hand that wasn’t occupied with Matty’s hair emerged from the water, where it had been gripping her thigh, and she placed it on her left boob, swiping her thumb over her nipple delicately and squeezing the soft, meaty flesh around it. 
She arched her back as Matty prodded a second finger into her, curling it as he had the first. As she arched further into his chest, she felt Matty’s hard cock against her back, and teasingly wriggled against it.
He groaned, fingers speeding up as they fucked in and out of her, his hand that was rubbing her clit now came up to brush her hair out of her face, before he flicked her right nipple playfully, ripping a guttural sound from the back of her throat as he returned his hand to her clit, rubbing fast circles over it with his middle and ring finger. 
He felt her cunt tighten around his fingers, thighs slamming together to stop his hands from retracting. 
He pressed his plush, pink, lips to her ear, pressing airy kisses along it as he breathed, “Gonna cum for me, baby? Yeah?” He felt her become impossibly right around his fingers, and she moaned loudly as he said, “Gonna feel so much better afterwards, baby. C’mon, give it to me.”
Matty fingers stilled inside her as she came, eyes squeezing closed and toes curling as the water in the bath sloshed around them, her loud moan echoing around the bathroom. He waited for her breathing to settle slightly before slowly pulling his fingers out, the water in the bath cleaning them off. 
She flipped herself over carefully, legs wobbling slightly  as she straddled his right leg, her boobs planted flat against his chest. She reached up, planting a soft kiss to his lips, whining softly against them as her clit grazed his leg when she pushed herself up. 
Pulling away from her lips, Matty tutted in faux annoyance, rolling his eyes playfully.
“Still not done, baby?” He asked, smoothing his hand over her hair and then resting it on her cheek as she looked up at him,
“No,” she confirmed, half-mooned, lidded eyes peering up at him. 
He sighed, “What am I gonna do with you, huh?” He asked playfully, “Too horny for your own good.” 
She whined as she shifted herself further up his body, his rock hard cock laying flat against her slit as it rested on his stomach. He lay back against the steeper end of the bath, hands on both hips, thumbs drawing shapes on her delicate skin. 
She wriggled her hips slightly, his cock bumping over her clit multiple times before she rose to her knees, almost slipping on the slippery bottom of the bath, luckily being caught by Matty’s large hands on her hips again. 
She laughed softly, looking up at him as she did so, seeing him biting his lip softly to keep in his laugh, the rumbling of his chest betraying him. She slapped his stomach playfully. 
“Hey!” She scolded, “Don’t laugh at me,” She said with a fake pout on her face. 
Matty cooed, laughter still rumbling in his chest as he spoke, “Aw, sorry honey, it's just, when I said I didn’t want you to get hurt, I didn’t mean slipping over in the bath and dying.” He giggled as he spoke, and she couldn’t help but grin at him, pouncing onto him to plant a sweet kiss to his lips, before pulling away.
Her brows furrowed and index finger pointed at him as she reprimanded him, trying her best to keep her face straight as she spoke, “Okay! No more laughing,” Her eyes narrowed at him accusingly, “back to sex.” 
He nodded stiffly, hand coming up to his head as he saluted her militarily, firmly repeating her previous statement. 
She giggled softly, lifting her leg up with help from Matty, before shifting herself on top of him completely, his hard cock trapped between her sticky cunt and his firm belly. She groaned as she rocked back and forth slowly, before pushing herself up slightly, grabbing the base of his cock, tapping it on her clit a few times before she pushed it into herself, sighing in content as she sunk down, the full feeling in her tummy satiating the desire she’d been holding there all day. 
He groaned softly, brows knitting together as she sunk all the way down onto his cock, her clit brushing against the groomed pubic hair at the base. His hands rested on her hips, rubbing shapes softly as he helped guide her up and down on his length. She was so tight around him, clamping down hard when he moved a hand from her hip down to rub her tender, puffy clit.
She moaned breathily, back arched and head thrown back as she bounced on his cock rapidly, water splashing around the bath and onto the floor. Her right hand rested on Matty’s ‘We are Kings’ tattoo, providing her with leverage to move quicker, and her left hand wrapped tightly around his wrist, nails digging into his Mortal Kombat tattoo as her orgasm approached her. 
Matty felt her hips faltering slightly, and her thighs began to shake, causing him to tighten his grip on her hips, holding her still as he slammed his hips up to meet hers. She whined loudly, his thick cock filling her completely, slamming against her cervix with every unyielding thrust. 
“Feelin’ good, baby? He asked breathily, panting slightly, his curls falling in his face, sticking to his slightly damp forehead.
She responded the only way she could through her foggy, fucked-out brain, squeezing his forearm impossibly tight and keening loudly, before her mouth fell open in a silent scream. 
He continued his relentless pace, bringing them both closer and closer to cumming. His brows knitted together in concentration as he tried to keep his pace consistent, but he was struggling. She was so fucking tight, squeezing him like she was afraid that if she didn’t, he’d somehow disappear. 
Thankfully, he could tell she was close, her lower lip pulled between her teeth and cheeks rosy, and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t had to hold his orgasm since the second he’d slipped into her. Something about his cock and her cunt fit so right, he could probably cum just at the thought of it. 
Matty looked up at her through the mess of wet curls in front of his eyes, “Need you to rub your clit for me now, ‘kay honey?”. 
She immediately obeyed, bringing the hand that was wrapped around his wrist to rub her clit at a harsh pace. She cried out, hand faltering slightly at the intense pressure building in her lower belly. 
She was so close, she just needed something, anything, to push her over the edge, and almost as though Matty read her mind, he leaned forward, attaching his mouth to her left breast, swirling his tongue around and biting lightly at her perked up nipple. 
The hand rubbing her clit and rapid hip movements halted as she felt Matty, whose head now rested on her shoulder, still inside her, groaning loudly as he came inside her, rope after rope of his sticky cum coating her walls. She wailed, eyes rolling back into her head as the tightness in her stomach finally released. She leaned forward to bite Matty’s shoulder softly, tears streaming down her cheeks at the intensity of both her orgasms. 
She slipped her arms out from between their chests, wrapping them tightly around Matty’s neck before pressing her head into his neck, sighing contently. 
Matty smiled softly against her, lifting the hand that still rested on her left hip to rub her back gently. 
“Water’s gone all cold, sweetheart,” He said, slightly muffled by the delicate skin of her shoulder.
She shrugged lazily in his arms, murmuring back a sweet, “M’cozy.”
“Y’cosy?” He bit back a soft laugh at her lovely voice, “Not gonna be so ‘cosy’ when you get a cold, honey.” He continued rubbing her back, cooing inwardly when he heart a soft sniffle beneath him. 
“How ‘bout this, baby, let me get out, and I’ll go get your clothes, get you nice and dry, and then we can go back to this exact position in my bed… That sound good?”
She nodded weakly against his chest, and that's exactly what they did. Quickly pulling on a new pair of sweats, he remembered he’d laid out some boxers and an old sweatshirt of his on the bed before he’d gotten in the bath, and he was particularly grateful for it now, grabbing the pile off the bed, and a towel warmed from the dryer, before speed-walking back to the bathroom. He knocked softly before walking in, wanting to be safer than sorry, and heard a soft hum from behind the door. A sign to enter, he assumed. 
Walking in, he saw that she was still in the exact position he’d left her in, knees tucked to her chest, with her chin rested against her knees. He cooed, putting her new clothes on the basin before helping her stand in the bath, opening the warm towel and wrapping it around her body, her hands poking out to keep it wrapped around herself as he scooped her up, setting her down to sit on the lid of the toilet. 
Grabbing the clothes off the basin, he slipped the soft grey sweater over her head, and pulled his boxers up her legs, pressing a kiss to her forehead once she was dressed. 
She murmured a ‘thank you’, to which he responded by kissing her again, this time on her lips, before picking her up again, placing a hand on her left knee, pushing it to wrap around his waist, before doing the same to her right. 
Keeping her steady with a hand on her bum, he walked the few steps to his bed as quickly as possible. He held her up with one hand as he used the other to pull back the covers, before carefully crawling into the bed, being sure not to disturbed her comfort in his arms as he did so. 
Wrapping the soft duvet around the both of them, he looked down at her to see her smiling up at him. He beamed back at her, dimples visible in his cheeks, before leaning down to press a soft kiss to her puffy lips. 
She sighed in content, pulling away from the kiss and resting her head on his shoulder again, nose nuzzling against the soft skin of his neck. He smiled to himself, before picking up his phone from the bedside table, checking his notifications quickly before he opened Instagram, scrolling aimlessly through his reels. He swiped upon a particularly funny minions meme, pushing air out of his nostrils in a half-laugh, before angling his phone down to show her. He looked down to watch her reaction, his favourite thing in the world being to see her laugh - it was automatically a great day for him whenever he was the one to coax a giggle from her - but instead saw she was asleep, lips parted slightly, and eyebrows relaxed. 
He smiled fondly down at her, using the arm she was laying on to rub soothingly up and down her arm. He clicked ‘Save’ on the meme, telling himself to remember to show her later, before he opened Safari, logging into Twitter, or ‘X’ now, - ‘so fucking stupid’ he thought - looking to see what fans had to say about their new show, ‘Still… at their very best.’
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©trumanbluee - reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated! but i do not wish for my work to be republished, translated, or copied. thanks!
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lovlive · 5 months
Text
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ‘concert going’ - l.hc
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SYNOPSIS - you and your boyfriend haechan finally get tickets to a concert and see the artist you love
PAIRING - lee haechan x reader
GENRE - fluff, established relationship
WARNINGS - i guess you could say that the reader is short (😭), reader is called ‘baby’, lmk if i missed something.
notes: i am so down bad for hyuck rn. like why is he so fine?! anyways, i used a random prompt generator to write this since my brain is dead from school and i got “get on my shoulders, you’ll see better.” hope you guys like it :3
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both you and haechan have been obsessed with a new musical artist you’ve recently discovered. you’d both often find yourselves sharing headphones on the bus like in those romance anime movies listening to that one artist, or having their songs quietly play in the background while you complete your homework or some type of work you have due. so when haechan surprised you with tickets to one of their concerts, you nearly jumped out of your shoes with excitement (like literally, you were jumping up and down for the following 5 minutes and hugging (squeezing) the hell out of your poor boyfriend)
the day of the concert eventually comes and you wake up with a huge dumb smile on your face. you stayed up quite late last night trying to clear out as much unwanted things on your phone to make storage for the new photos and videos yoy were going to take, but nonetheless you felt as if you had slept atleast 12 hours with how energised you felt. you jumped up out of bed, giggling to yourself as you reached for your pre-planned concert outfit. you manage to change into it as you hear your boyfriend groan groggily, complaining that its too early for you to be getting up yet. you ignore his mumbling and drag him out of bed as you both head to the kitchen and have a breakfast. you let haechan get ready, and before you know it both of you are out of the house and driving to your destination.
you get to the venue, the smile from the morning still plastered on your face. it feels as if its stuck on your face, like you’d have to physically wipe it off with a tissue for it to be gone. you stand in line together, hands intertwined as you babble on about how excited you are to haechan. he teases you about your enthusiasm and how cute you are, squeezing your hand every now and again. eventually you get past all the security and other obstacles, reaching the hall. you get lost a couple of times trying to reach your seats because you cant read signs to save your life, leading to haechan snatching the phone out of your hand and leading you to your correct assigned area. the venue becomes more full by the second and your heart begins to thump in your chest as you wait for the artist to appear.
eventually the artist appears and you start screaming like a feral dog, haechan laughing at you hard. as the booming bass and electrifying guitar riffs filled the air, you found yourselves caught in the midst of the pulsating crowd at the concert. standing far from the stage, you struggled to catch a glimpse of the stage over the sea of heads. "man, I can barely see anything," you exclaimed, craning your neck to catch a glimpse of the performers.
haechan grinned mischievously. "i’ve got an idea. get on my shoulders, you'll see better!" you hesitated for a moment, unsure about the idea. but the infectious energy of the crowd and the excitement of the music convinced you to give it a try. with a laugh, you climbed onto haechan’s broad shoulders, feeling a rush of adrenaline as you rose above the crowd.
suddenly, everything changed. from your new vantage point, you could see the stage perfectly. the vibrant lights danced across the performers' faces, and you could feel the music reverberating through your bones.
as you swayed to the rhythm of the music, you both became lost in the moment. for a brief, exhilarating moment, it was just the two of you and the music. as the concert reached its climax, you couldn't wipe the smile from your face. you felt alive, invigorated by the experience of being lifted above the crowd and immersed in the magic of the music. when the final notes faded away and the crowd began to disperse, you climbed down from haechan’s shoulders, feeling a sense of gratitude for your boyfriend's spontaneous idea. "thanks for the lift," you said, grinning at haechan. "anytime, baby, your as light as a feather to me." he replied, his own smile matching yours as you giggled at his response.
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
you finally get home, both of you still giggling and yapping to eachother about your favourite moments of the concert. haechan decides to go take a shower as you decide to get in your pajamas and get cozy. you hold a bag of concert merch, excited to display it in your room and start wearing it on a daily basis. but before you do any of that, you want to express your gratitude to your boyfriend, of course. without him you wouldnt of even went to the concert since he was the one who bought the tickets for you both. you notice haechan walking out of the bathroom, hair dripping onto the fresh t-shirt that he’s wearing. you cant help to think about how handsome he is. he stands over the kitchen counter, supposedly turning the kettle on to make a tea as you creep up behind him. you stand on your tippy toes as you wrap your arms around his shoulders from the back, head turning to the side kiss his cheek. you take notice the immediate smile that appears on his face as he notices your actions. “whats up with you?” he teases as he spins around, now facing you and wrapping his arms back around your waist. “just wanted to say thank you for today.” you say, noticing his face leaning utterly close to yours. he chuckles at your response, feeling his hand tighten around you. “of course. you know id do anything to make you happy.” he smiled, closing the gap between you both and pressing a soft kiss onto your lips. you gently run one of your hands through his damp hair, enjoying the feeling of his warm lips against yours. the kiss breaks eventually, and you hear him mumble something out. “i love you.” the smile that has been on your face since this morning somehow grows even bigger as you respond. “i love you too.”
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spookypete-94 · 2 months
Text
Dark Horse-Matching Bands
Chapter 8 (Final Chapter)
PriceXFem!Reader
Reader is a single mother, working double shifts at a restaurant. Father of the child starts to become a problem while reader is at work and Price offers a solution. Slight age gap between reader around 25 and Price around 35.
This is it! This chapter is lots of fluff, happy ending. After this is completed plan on working some more Simon things and then have an idea of returning to this, but writing it through Price's POV. Will be darker in influence than this one however. Think our Captain is a little more selfish then what this story portrays. Kind of like the other half of the coin thing.
Thank you all for taking the time and reading this series, just really wanted to do something sweet. <3 I truly do appreciate this fanbase and its readers.
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Adrenaline had worn off by the time you had reached your bed. Body heavy like someone had tucked concrete into it making relief fill you by the time you had hit your pillow. After it all, you really thought sleep was going to be hard… but honestly it was the easiest that had been delivered to you all night.
In fact, when you woke up in the morning, you felt so far out of it. Honestly, you probably could have slept for another 5 hours. Finally forcing yourself to come to, you realized it was your phone vibrating on the nightstand. Quickly picking it up, you palmed it until it answered.
“Mornin’, lovie.” Your heart mended and melted at the voice.
“John.”
“How’d you sleep love?”
“Honestly… not terrible.”
“Best you have in a while, huh.” He had wanted it to sound like a question, but instead it came out as a matter-of-fact statement. You both know why you slept so well. You had no reason to fear anymore. Your biggest fear was dead.
“Yeah… How’s Abel?”
“Still sleepin’, him, Johnny and Kyle stayed up late telling ghost stories.” There was a joke hidden somewhere in there, sleep just kept it hidden from you.
“He catch any fish?” You asked instead.
“He did, learned to clean them too. Had a proper day of teaching with him.”
It made you smile. The idea of Abel spending time with a male figure that was teaching him real life lessons.
“Good.”
“I’ll have him call you when he wakes up. Think you should probably go make a cuppa’ and turn the news on for now love.” A hint. An order what had been done last night.
“Ok, see you in a while John.”
Finally doing what he advised, you sat with a cup of coffee in your hands steam still rising off the top. The remote was on the table in front of you, parallel with the TV.
It seemed so far away and the thought of picking it up to turn the TV on almost too heavy for you. Like the concrete from last night had returned all at once. A heavy breath in, you reached for it, powering it on and flipping on the news.
The very first headline BODY HAS BEEN FOUND.
Instantly, you shut your eyes, seeing the murder scene all over once again in your small bathroom. Forcing them back open, you watched. Listening intently while the newscaster explained that a male body had been found in an alleyway after what looked like a bar fight gone wrong.
The face was so mangled from a beer bottle they assumed; they were having a hard time identifying the victim. Your heart pounded so loudly, Blood trying to reach your head filling your ears, rushing like an ocean and beating like a drum. You had done this. You had destroyed any facial recognition of him… all by your hand. The thoughts came in like a flood. The father of your child. What kind of monster were you?
A loud knocking on your door brought you back, making you jump and spill coffee down the front of John’s shirt. Quickly jumping up to look through the peephole, two officers stood waiting. Like the good girl you were, you opened the door for them.
“Morning Ma’am, may we come in?” They politely asked. Giving a wide birth on the door, you obliged.
“We’re here to notify you of some news…”
Afternoon had rolled around. You sat outside waiting for their vehicle to pull up. John had kept his promise to you, and Abel had called you shortly after the officers left. After Abel had passed the phone back to your husband he asked about your visitors. Finding it strange that you had not told John about the officers stopping by yet to give you a death notification, you still told him about it.
 One of the officers had known John, his name Alex Keller, a detective for the force. Alex had called you by your maiden name, politely you corrected him and explained how you were freshly married, what your new name was and who you married.
“Have known John for a long time. Good man.”
Maybe Alex had called John to let him know he met you and what had happened…
Seemingly they asked a few questions about your personal life with your ex. How long you had known him, how you had known him. The basic stuff. News to you however, your ex had been estranged from his family for years now. He had no relationship with them whatsoever. They had tried to reach out to his parents, but they had cut him off due to behavioral problems. How ironic his own knew what kind of person he was and chose to do nothing about it. All the officers were looking for was a few answers and a place to do a proper death notification.
“Do you see it possible that he could have been in involved in a bar fight?”
“Yes,” you honestly nodded.
“Did he have anger problems?”
“Yes.”
From there you told the tale of the physical and verbal abuse from the very beginning… all the way to his untimely end.
“Well Mrs. Price, we are sorry for your loss. At this time, it is still under investigation, but it appears to us that he was involved in a bar fight. Was attacked with a beer bottle and then strangled. His wallet was left behind with his ID, but nothing else in it. It looks to be a murder and mugging. Here’s our contact if you need anything else from us.”
It seemed so routine for them, like they had expected this outcome from you already. The innocent baby momma rid of the evil that plagues her and her child. Towards the end, it was like someone had held up a seashell to your ear. You could hear the conversation… but it was like they were so far away at the same time. Shock was settling in. Thankfully it wasn’t long after that, they had left your humble abode. Pleasantries exchanged and not even a suspect on the list…  How was this possible?
And there you sat on the porch, waiting in a chair outside… Counting your lucky stars you were not placed in a jumpsuit behind bars. Still wearing the guilt all the same. Your happiness finally arriving on 4 wheels as a little boy jumped out to greet you.
“Mom!”
John had stopped to pick up dinner. Your favorite to try to cheer you up and thank you for letting him go on a trip shortly after you were married.
Finding the words finally at the dinner table, you explained to him to the best of your ability about his father passing.
Abel took it in stride. Yes, he was hurt and disturbed someone could do this his father, but he was the sweet boy you had raised after all. Abel did start asking a few questions, where John thankfully took over for you. He could tell it was hard for you to lie to Abel about what had really happened. It was something you would never ever tell him, wanting to take it to your grave now. John and his boys being the only ones who knew what had happened. Of course, none of them saw the sin in it like you did, they only saw justice. Simon, in fact telling you once that if was not you that really killed him, it was Ghost himself that had. Like it was a joke, trying to make you feel better. All it could do was place a sad smile on your lips.
“Worlds better of without him.” John had grumbled into your ear once you were both settled into bed, hand rubbing up and down your sides. That was the moment you tried to explain to John, it was not the fact that it was the man that had hurt you over and over since you were a teenager, but the fact it was a human life in general.
“Happens every day. Eventually bad behavior is answered one way or another.”
“But it makes me bad too.” You argued in a whispered hiss to him.
“No, it makes you a mother willing to defend what is hers. You really expect me to believe that you were goin’ to let him take you away from Abel and I? He paid his consequence. We could have worked it out like adults.” His hand had found your ring finger on your left-hand stroking over his mother’s band, something he seemed to do when you or he needed soothed.
Reaching for his hand, you realized it had a wedding band in return. Pulling it up out of the sheets glancing at it, knowing you had not given him one yet. It was opal on set in gold that matched yours.
“Had it made with the stone that Abel got on his field trip. The maker rushed it for me so we could match.”
“It’s pretty…” you whispered, holding it up yours. Husband and Wife finally made whole. Married for convenience for you, convenience you would ironically not need any more since your ex was dead.
It wouldn’t change anything for you though, you would pick John over and over in this lifetime and the next. He had shown you loyalty and love in a time and place no other stranger would… Except the other three of John’s that made it clear they envied their Captain that is. Who knew a group of men could care so much for a woman in dire need of it. Perhaps soldiers made the best lovers when created correctly? Who knew.
Life had changed so much in just a few years. Thinking back, you had always just pictured yourself working and slaving away at the diner. Yes, you were grateful for it, but a part of you would always want more for yourself and Abel. Here it finally was. In a new strong and sturdy house John had built for you. Working part time at the diner now, home at night with Abel and John. Sometimes John would be gone for months at a time, not always able to communicate with you either. Worry sometimes would fill your mind, but he always found his way back to you.
On one of his returns, he had given you a child. Now round with his seed, ready to pop he sat with you at the hospital. This time was entirely different. Instead of having to do it alone here John was with you. Not able to go to every appointment, he at least made the milestone ones. When worry and panic would rise within you from the pregnancy, he would quell it down. Thumb rubbing across your wedding band making you reach for his to do the same. Life was perfect. Honestly it left you confused on what exactly you had done to deserve such an outcome, but maybe if you didn’t question it, whatever greater force was out there would let you keep it.
Being thankful rewarded you with a healthy, beautiful little girl, a branch off John’s tree. Her bright blue eyes identical to his with his heavy brown locks. After all John had given you, you let him name her. A man of pattern and devotion, he named her after his mother. Sarah. So here you sat… babe bundled into a blanket in a rocking chair watching John and Abel out in the yard. No longer haunted, you were protected and loved. More importantly though, Abel and Sarah would be defended for their childhood. Something that was not provided to you or John.
Life is good.
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canisalbus · 9 months
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Just wanted to tell you that your recent art of Machete looking after Vasco while he's sick reminded me of Nights at the Villa by Gogol. Only a small fragment of it survived, probably because it's straight up author's diary about falling in love for the first time with a man who is already dying. It's such a beautiful little piece and your art really reminded me of it's vibes. Anyway, I'm mentally ill about russian literature and I love your dogs <3
The longing and lamenting quite something, poor guy.
It's not very long so I'm just going to put the whole thing under the cut ->
They were sweet and tormenting, those sleepless nights. He sat, ill, in the armchair. I was with him. Sleep dared not touch my eyes. Silently and involuntarily, it seems, it respected the sanctity of my vigil. Its was so sweet to sit near him, to look at him. For two nights already we have been saying "thou" to each other. How much closer he has become to me since then! He sat there just as before, meek, quiet, and resigned. Good God! With what joy, with what happiness I would have taken his illness upon myself! And if my death could restore him to health, with what readiness I would have rushed toward it!
-
I did not stay with him last night. I had finally decided to stay home and sleep. Oh, how base, how vile that night and my despicable sleep were! I slept poorly, even though I had been without sleep for almost a week. I was tormented by the thought of him. I kept imagining him, imploring and reproachful. I saw him with the eyes of my soul. I hastened to come early to him and felt like a criminal as I went. From his bed he saw me. He smiled with his usual angel's smile. He offered his hand. He pressed mine lovingly.
"Traitor." he said, "You betrayed me." "My angel," I said, "Forgive me. I myself suffered with your suffering. I was in torment all night. My rest brought me no repose. Forgive me!" My meek one! He pressed my hand. How fully rewarded I was for the suffering that the stupidly spent night had brought me!
"My head is weary," he said. I began to fan him with a laurel branch. "Ah, how fresh and good," he said. His words were then… what were they? What would I have not given, what earthly goods, those despicable, those vile, those disgusting goods… no, they are not worth mentioning. You into whose hands will fall -if they will fall- those incoherent, fleebe lines, pallid expressions of my emotions, you will understand me. Otherwise they will not fall into your hands. You will understand how repulsive the entire heap of treasures and honors is that attracts those wooden dolls which are called people. Oh, with what joy, with what anger I could have trampled underfoot and squashed everything that is bestowed by the mighty scepter of the Tsar of the North, if I only knew that this would buy a smile that indicated the slightest relief in his face.
"Why did you prepare such a bad month of May for me?" He said to me, awakening in his armchair and hearing the wind beyond the window-panes that wafted the aroma of the blossoming wild jasmine and white acacia, which mingled with the whirling rose petals.
-
At ten o'clock I went down to see him. I had left him there hours before to get some rest, to prepare [something] to him, to afford him some variety, so my arrival would give him more pleasure. I went down to him at ten o'clock. He had been alone for more than one hour. His visitors had long since left. The dejection of boredom showed on his face. He saw me. Waved his hand slightly.
"My savior." He said to me. They still sound in my ears, those words. "My angel! Did you miss me?" "Oh, how I missed you." He replied. I kissed him on the shoulder. He offered his cheek. We kissed; he was still pressing my hand.
He did not like going to bed and hardly ever did. He preferred his armchair and the sitting position. That night the doctor ordered him to rest. He stood up reluctantly and, leaning on my shoulder, moved to his bed. My darling! He weary glance, his brightly colored jacket, his slow steps- I can see it all, it is all before my eyes. He whispered in my ear, leaning on my shoulder and glancing at the bed: "Now I'm a ruined man."
"We will remain in bed for only half an hour," I said to him, "and then we'll go back to your armchair".
I watched you, my precious, tender flower! All the time when you were sleeping or merely dozing in you bed or armchair, I followed your movements and your moments, bound to you by some incomprehensible force.
How strangely new my life was then and, at the same time, I discerned in it a repetition of something distant, something that once actually was. But it seems hard to give an idea of it: there returned to me a fresh, fleeting fragment of my youth, that time when a youthful soul seeks fraternal friendship with those of one's age, a decidedly juvenile friendship, full of sweet, almost infantile trifles and mutual show of tokens of tender attachment; the time when it is sweet to gaze into each other's eyes, when your entire being is ready to offer sacrifices, which are usually not even necessary. And all those feelings, sweet, youthful, fresh - alas! Inhabitants of a vanishing world - all these feelings returned to me. Good Lord! What for? I watched you, my precious, tender flower. Did this fresh breath of youth waft upon me only so that I might suddenly and irrevocably sink into even greater and more deadening coldness of feelings, so that I might become all at once older by a decade, so that I might see my vanishing life with even greater despair and hopelessness? Thus does a dying fire send its flames up into the air, so that it might illuminate with its flickering the somber walls and then disappear forever.
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jahnavisurenda-21 · 7 months
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Hazbin Hotel|Alastor X Reader
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Right now in love with a deep home type comfort, to sleep in rainy nights, Tea and deep voices.
This is presenting Alastor Scenario when your unable to sleep because it is hell, and some of your tapes broke.
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You woke up with cold sweat, wavering breathing it kept happening, you opened your curtains a little bit to see the horrible view.
The Hazbin hotel was like a gold in such a messed up, chaotic ruckus of a place. Where people just live accepting that there souls are doomed for suffering, and nothing was going to change that.
You were still trying to steady your breathing, you brought your legs closer wrapping your arms tightly around it, "You could just drop dead, stop... Stop harrassing me. Drop dead. Drop dead." You would whimper.
3 Am no one would give you a second glance, you shakily brought out the rust radio out, you loved the cracky noise, you loved his voice.
You turned on one of his radio shows, he had put some recipes trying to focus on his heavy voice, trying to get yourself to sleep. The dreams would haunt you the moment you turned of the radio.
"Ahh my dear can I come in?" It was Alastor, but what could he want from such a time. He said he was working for some paperwork to run the hotel.
You shakily tried to dress yourself up, pulling the door knob.
"Oh my dear, you haven't slept again. The little radio off yours has been a little disturbing. All though I love it when people admire my work! But you see my dear it's interfering with the latest podcast I must get done by the next day!"
Your face showed tinge of embarrassment but actually hearing his voice right now was especially calming.
"I'm so sorry, now you have to start all over again." You weakly told, you wanted him to stay but you knew he would avoid any physical touch.
"Well my dear since you enjoy my little radio shows here so much what if I take you to my little office hmm?"
Alastor knew you suffered from nightmares, and you had been putting his tapes on repeat at the same time for two weeks.
Once you entered his office, you caught splashes of red, but a little comfortable corner called you over where you quietly sat by, waiting for him to go back to letting his voice out.
It was like Alastor knew, he needed to get you to sleep besides you were tired so hearing him for a few sleepy half an hour or more.
The last thing you felt was a blanket draped and then it was only the sound of typewriter echoing.
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morgana-larkin · 5 months
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Alright peeps! So I took a look at the poll and saw that most of you wanted the second part of 'Don't Call Me That' the most so here it is! There's everything in this one, heartbreak, angst, smut and fluff. A bit of a rollercoaster so good luck!
On another note: I'm working on part 4 of 'Mine' as that was the second most voted on. I also realise the poll is still open for another 4 hours but idc, you can still vote though!
Part 1
Don't Call Me That - Part 2
Warnings: Smut, angst, lots of fluff (Not in that specific order lol), happy ending
Words: 4.2k
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Melissa didn’t get any sleep last night. Everytime she closed her eyes, all she imagined was you kissing her, and nothing was on her mind except the thought of you saying you love her. You still love her, even after her breaking up with you.
Melissa walked into Abbott a little earlier, she needed extra caffeine considering she got 0 hours of sleep last night. She barely survived the day, not only from lack of sleep, but seeing you multiple times, and everytime all she thinks about is your lips on hers.
The next day she barely got any sleep, about 2 hours. The next day was the same. She thought that at least it was Friday and she could sleep in on Saturday. On Friday, everyone can clearly see the bags under her eyes as they’ve darkened over the week, and the way she can barely stay awake. Melissa thinks that it’s good her students have a test to do today and a book report coming up, and a couple other things she can get them to do instead of teaching.
At the end of the day, you go to walk to your car and you pass by Melissa’s classroom and you can see her asleep at her desk. You walk in and you see there’s no one else there, so you walk over to her and shake her a bit. “Melissa?” you say and she groans but doesn’t wake. “Melissa!” You just about yell and she opens her eyes but doesn’t move her head. You kneel down to her level and look at her. “Hey, saw you sleeping, you ok?” you ask her and she looks at you with the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen.
“Am I dreaming?” she asks you and you tilt your head.
“What makes you think you’re dreaming?” you ask her.
“Because you’re here, you wouldn’t talk to me otherwise. If I was awake then you would just avoid me because I’m an idiot.” she says and you look down and sigh.
“Ok, come on. I’ll drive you home and then you can continue dreaming ok?” you tell her and help guide her up from her chair. You take her purse with you and help guide her to your car, as well as buckle herself in as she didn’t have the strength to do it herself. “Why have you been so tired this week?” You ask as you get in the driver’s seat and start the car.
“Because I’m being haunted by my stupidity.” She says and you snort, you then back out of the parking spot and pull out of the parking lot.
“What stupidity have you done?” You ask her.
“Breaking up with my girlfriend, Y/n.” She tells you and you then realise she has no idea where she is and might still think she’s dreaming. You know you probably shouldn’t but this might be your chance to figure out what’s really going on with her.
“Why was that a stupid decision?”
“Because I still love her so much. All I think about when I try to sleep is her kissing me or her saying she loves me. I can’t do this anymore, I need her.” She says and a few tears slip. “I’ve barely slept these past 4 days, I probably got no more than 8 hours of sleep combined. I’ve barely eaten as well. I broke up with her 3 months ago and I was still able to sleep and eat, I don’t know what changed.” She says and you think about it, you should probably help her out.
“Do you feel guilty all of a sudden?” And she lets out an airy laugh.
“I’ve felt guilty ever since I thought I should break up with her?”
“Ok, so not that then. What about the fact that she told you she loves you?” You ask her and she doesn’t say anything. “Maybe you thought her feelings for you would disappear when you broke up with her cause you thought that she would just find someone else?” You tell her and she still doesn’t say anything. You thought maybe she fell asleep so you glance over at her and she’s still awake. “Melissa?” You say and she looks up at you. “Did you really break up with me because you thought I should be with someone else?” You ask her and she sighs.
“Ya.” she says and takes a deep breath. “I was holding you back from everything you’ve wanted so I let you go so I wouldn’t be in the way because I love you and I want you to be happy, even if I had to watch someone else make you happy and give you what you want.” she tells you and her eyes slowly close and she falls asleep.
The rest of the car ride, you think about what she said. You’re honestly surprised by what she said. She thought she was doing something selfless for you, but instead just ended up hurting you both, she never meant to hurt you so much. And now you see the toll it’s taken on her to stick to her decision to try and make you happy. She’s willing to sacrifice her happiness for yours, you never thought anyone would do that for you.
As soon as you pull into her driveway, you gently wake her up. “Come on Melissa, you’re home, we should gotta get you to your bed and you can sleep comfortably, ok?” You tell her and she nods. She unbuckles herself but can’t open the door fully so you do that for her. You unlock her door with her key and you help bring her inside. You set her keys and purse at the door and you close and lock her door while she attempts to take her shoes off. You end up helping her with her shoes when she falls down and you help her back up and to her room. She falls on the bed when you get there and then you tuck her in, you go to leave after but she grabs your arm and you turn to face her.
“Will you stay with me?” She asks softly and you sigh.
“Ok, but only until you fall asleep.” You tell her and she nods. You get on the bed but stay on the covers instead of under and she wraps an arm around you. You admit that you do miss this and you miss her and her craziness. You turn around to face her and she’s still awake and looking at you.
“I do want you back, y/n.” She tells you and strokes your hair.
“What’s stopping you?” You ask her and she yawns and is slowly closing her eyes.
“The fact that you won’t be happy with me.” She says and falls asleep. You stay looking at her stunned and go over everything she’s told you, thinking that you weren’t you or she was dreaming. You then slowly crawl out from her hold on you and you replace it with a pillow so she doesn’t wake up.
A few hours later Melissa wakes up. She opens her eyes and realises she’s in her bed and has no idea what happened this week that well as she’s been so tired that the whole week has been a blur. She looks at her phone and sees that it’s 5:43pm and it’s Friday. She gets out of bed and hears some noises downstairs, she then grabs her bat and carefully goes downstairs. She gets to the middle of the stair when she sees you on the couch watching tv and she tilts her head and stares for a few seconds. She then continues down the stairs and you look over at her and chuckle.
“Were you planning on hitting me with a bat? You were friendlier when you were falling in and out of consciousness.” You tease her and she looks confused. “Do you remember anything from the end of the day to how you got home?” You ask her and she stares at you then shakes her head. “I found you asleep at your desk and then I drove you home. If you want I can drive you to the school parking lot to get your car and then go home.” You tell her, you don’t want to scare her if what she said while on the verge of sleep was true.
“You drove me home?” She tells you and you nod. “W-why?”
“Because I want to make sure you didn’t fall asleep at the wheel or stay at school overnight.” You simply say. “I bet you’re hungry since you also haven’t been eating, so I made you some mac n’ cheese.” You tell her and you go and get it.
“How do you know I haven’t been eating?” She asks when you reappear with a bowl.
“Cause you told me.” You tell her when you hand it to her and sit back on the couch. “Come sit.” You say as you pat the couch cushion.
“I wouldn’t tell anyone that.” She tells you as she obeys and goes to sit beside you on the couch.
“Wow you really don’t remember anything you told me.” You say and she freezes as she was about to take a bite.
“What do you mean?” She asks and takes a bite of the food.
“I mean we had a whole conversation while you kept falling asleep. In your classroom, my car and here, at your house.”
“What did I tell you?” She asks and prepares for the worst.
“Now I don’t want you to get freaked out ok? Cause you had no idea where you were or who I really was.” You tell her and that makes her feel worse.
“Y/n. What did I tell you.”
“You told me that you still love and miss me and you want me back.” You say and her eyes go wide. “You also told me the whole reason you let me go.” You add and she drops her fork. “And why you haven’t been sleeping, and you confessed that you’ve also barely ate in the past 4 days.” You finish and she’s just staring at you. After about 10 seconds she gets up and walks to the kitchen with her mac n’ cheese and you follow after her. She puts the bowl on the counter without much thought and she puts her hands in her hair. “Melissa?” You say to get her attention and she turns around looking scared and concerned. “What’s going on with you?”
“With me? It’s the fact that you weren’t supposed to know anything that I told you.” She tells you and she’s breathing hard like she’s on the verge of either a breakdown or lots of tears.
“Why? Because I’m just supposed to be happy with someone else as you suffer?” You tell her.
“YES!” She shouts and then looks surprised when she catches up with what you told her and what she confessed. “Since I already told you then I might as well say it. All those things that you want, you won’t get with me. But you will with someone else, someone else who wants to get married, have a family with you, wants to go out and be young and stupid with you. I don’t want those things anymore, and yes I do love you very much and do want you back. But I’m willing to put aside my happiness, if it means you get everything you want.” She tells you and you burst into tears, she immediately wraps her arms around you and hugs you. Your knees buckle and she guides you both to the floor gently and she keeps her arms around you the whole time. When you get to the floor, you place your head on her chest and she brings a hand to your head and strokes it soothingly.
You slow your crying down and sniffle a few times before you speak. “I don’t deserve you. You’re willing to give me everything at the expense of your own happiness. I really don’t deserve you.” You tell her.
“No, it’s me who doesn’t deserve you. You have been the bestest friend to me for 2 years before we got together, and after we got together you have shown me the best of love and care that I could ever ask for.” She tells you, and you look up at her and immediately kiss her. She automatically kisses you back before she has time to think. Once her brain catches up to what she’s doing, she doesn’t have the willpower to pull away, she used it all trying to stay away from you. Before she can register what she’s doing, she leans forward, bringing you back until you hit the floor of the kitchen. You make out on the kitchen floor for a good minute until you both pull away for air and you look at each other. Melissa suddenly is aware of what she did and she gets up before you could stop her and she scurries to the living room, you run after her.
“Melissa, would you stop running away from me!” You tell her and she’s turned away from you with her head down.
“You should leave y/n.” Is all she says and you walk up to her and spin her around.
“If you want me to leave then tell me while looking at me.” You say and she raises her eyes to your face and she’s crying.
“I can’t.” She says and you put your hands on her cheeks and wipe the tears away.
“Melissa, I want to be with you. If being with you means that I don’t get married, have kids or go to the bar every now and then with you then so be it. Because I’m only wanting to marry the right person, and that person is you. So if I’m with you or not, I’m not getting married. I don’t need kids to feel fulfilled, or to be able to say I have a family. I mean we can always get a pet like a dog, but you’re all the family I need. And I can go to the bars with my friends and be young and stupid with them from time to time if I really want.” You tell her and she starts crying even more.
“You shouldn’t have to sacrifice everything just to be with me.”
“Melissa, it’s not a sacrifice if what I’m getting is a life with you.” You tell her and you kiss her. Melissa immediately pulls back and looks at you, her hands on your head.
“Are you sure? You have to be 100% sure y/n.” She tells you and you think it over for all of 2 seconds and you nod your head.
“I’m 100% sure, I want to be with you Melissa.” You tell her and she smiles.
“I want to be with you too.” She says and this time she goes to kiss you. The kiss deepens and you start putting your hands all over her and you think you want to touch her skin and she’s wearing too much clothes, so you put your hands under her shirt. Melissa immediately pulls her shirt off so you can touch her and you unclip her bra and take it off. She’s always been the dominant one but at this moment, all you want to do is kiss her all over, so you walk forward until her back hits a wall and you go down to her neck and kiss and suck all over and she’s gasping under you. You then travel down to her chest and leave kisses all over until you attach your mouth to her nipples and start to suck and lick them. 
She’s bucking her hips under you and you know she’s not far away from pulling all her clothes off herself and guiding you inside of her. You’re working on her second nipple when she pushes you off and guides you to your knees. You go immediately into submissive like always and you pull her pants and underwear off. Melissa leans back against the wall and spreads her legs a little further so you can put your mouth there.
You attach your mouth to her clit and she starts bucking her hips right away and you pin her to the wall. Her hands go to your hair and she’s gasping and moaning at your touch. “Oh god, Y/n, that feels so good baby.” She says and when you know she’s getting close, you pull away and stand up. You push your body into hers and immediately insert two fingers in her and put your thumb on her clit. “God Y/N, I missed you so much.” She says and kisses you. She’s so close as she starts shaking but she doesn’t pull away from your lips like she usually does, you aren’t complaining though, you missed her as well and you’re enjoying kissing her again.
She comes not long after she starts shaking but you don’t stop, you keep fingering her and circling her clit and she lets out a high pitched gasp. “Oh god baby, yes, omg, don’t stop.” She says as she pulls away from your lips and gives into the over sensitivity.
She comes again not too long after the first and then you withdraw your fingers and put them in your mouth to lick them. She looks at you as you lick your fingers and you moan and that’s when she takes action. She picks you up and brings you to the couch, you’re so glad that she decided to remove the plastic as this wouldn’t be comfortable. She put you so you’re sitting in the middle with your back resting on the back of the couch. She starts kissing and sucking your neck and pulls your shirt off. She unclips your bra and yanks it off  right after then immediately brings her mouth to a nipple. You’re moaning and gasping under her and she smiles as she’s so happy that she’s back with you, she’s fully aware of how lucky she is right now and she won’t take it for granted. She takes more time on your nipples then she usually does and your patience is running thin as you’re dripping wet and you have a strong ache between your legs. 
“Melissa, please, I need you inside of me, please.” You tell her and she pulls back from your chest and smiles at you. She gives a quick kiss on your lips then leaves a trail of kisses from your chest all the way to the top of your pants. She quickly removes your pants and underwear, spreads your legs, leaves a few kisses on each thigh and then attaches her mouth to your entrance. You gasp as soon as her hot wet tongue is where you need her the most and she starts moving her tongue all over your entrance before entering her tongue in you. You moan as she starts sliding her tongue in and out of you and you're holding onto her hair for dear life. You start grinding into her mouth to try and get more friction so you can come and for once she lets you keep doing it, normally she would pin you down when you start grinding. Even in the middle of amazing pleasure, that fact is not lost on you, you notice it immediately then start to think of everything else she’s done differently. 
She kept kissing you when she was about to come and even when she came, when she usually pulls away as you love to hear her when she comes. She let you keep fingering her after she came and it seemed like she needed it as well, she only lets you make her come once as she usually ends up grinding your thigh when fingering you as she loves to watch you and it turns her on. She spent more time on your nipples then she usually does, to the point that you begged her to continue, and now letting you grind against her mouth. You put it all together and came to the conclusion, she’s letting you do whatever you want and making sure you feel good as she feels guilty. You reluctantly pull her mouth away and she looks at you confused,
“What is it baby?” She asks and her lips and chin is covered in your juices.
“Stop doing things differently, you don’t have to feel guilty ok. I feel really special about why you did what you did. No one has ever been willing to sacrifice their own happiness for mine.” You tell her and she smiles shyly.
“Of course, I’d do anything for you.” She tells you and you lean in closer to her.
“Then stop fucking me differently and start being yourself again.” You tell her and something flickers in her eyes before she pushes your head back to lean on the back of the couch then dives down to your clit and starts licking and sucking on it. Your fingers are still in her hair and you start grinding against her again, but this time she does pin your hips down. Then she does something she’s never done before, she snakes her hands around your hips and hooks her hands on your ass then pulls you up a bit and that gives her a perfect angle with your clit and you gasp her name out as you come.
She then immediately comes up and positions herself so her clit is on your thigh and she slides a finger in you and you moan as she starts sliding it in and out of you slowly. She then adds two more fingers and starts going faster while her thumb is on your clit and she brings her mouth near your ear.
“Unfortunately the strap is upstairs and I don’t have the patience to go get it, so we’ll have to make do with my fingers.” she says then adds a fourth and you cry out.
“OH MY GOD!!” You cry out as she fills you up with her fingers then her mouth goes to your neck and so much pleasure is coursing through you right now and you feel like moving but her grinding on your thigh is preventing you from doing that. So you do something else that will help stabilise you, you put your hands on her boobs and squeeze them. You don’t feel like that’s enough so you wrap an arm around her back and pull her into you more.
“Ooo” She says as she’s caught off guard by your actions. You come again about 5 seconds later and she doesn’t stop, she just keeps going until you come again and again and then you pull her away.
“Melissa, I can’t take anymore.” You tell her and she nods and gently pulls each finger out at a time. 
“Sorry I got lost in the moment.” She tells you and you smile but your body is shaking from the amount of times you came. She notices and then goes to your side and brings you both to lay down while she cuddles you to give your body the chance to calm down. You turn around in her arms then nuzzle your head on her neck and chest and she holds you tighter. “It’s ok baby, I got you, and I don’t plan on going anywhere again.” She tells you and you only nod as you’re falling asleep. She notices that you fell asleep and she gently strokes your hair. “I promise I won’t leave you again.” She whispers to you. “I won’t make that mistake again.” She says and presses a kiss to your forehead.
*3 years later*
You and Melissa are both standing in front of the house as you unlock it then Melissa grabs your waist before you walk in and she pushes the door open.
“What are you doing Mel?” You ask her as you’re smiling at her and she smiles at you.
“Well shouldn’t I carry my bride across the threshold?” She asks you and then picks you up bridal style and you let out a small squeal and then she carries you inside then gently puts you down. She wraps her arms around your waist and you lean into her touch and she puts lays her chin on your shoulder. You both then hold out your left hands and smile at the ring on both your third finger.
Melissa kisses your neck and then your puppy comes running in and Kristen Marie running after her. You and Melissa decided to adopt a little puppy a few months ago and you both are really happy with your lives now. Melissa re-thought her decision about getting married and proposed to you a year and a half ago, much to your surprise. Then you both agreed on adopting a dog and Melissa named her Bella. Kristen Marie takes Bella out one more time before leaving her with you guys. 
“Are you still alright with the fact that we got married?” You ask her.
“Oh, it’s more than alright baby. Cause I got to marry you, my happily ever after.” She tells you and you both kiss.
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xoxoavenger · 1 year
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Head Over Heels
pairing: Steve Harrington x SingleMom!Reader
summary: As Y/N watches Steve with her baby, she realizes she may be head over heels for him, and she can't help wondering if he feels the same way.
word count: 5017
warnings: so much fluff i got a toothache writing this
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Y/N woke up slowly, feeling the sun shine down on her. She doesn't remember the last time she was able to sleep in this late; it was probably the early days of her pregnancy. 
Why was she still sleeping?
She shoots up in bed and looks to her right, but there's no crib. In fact there's none of her things here. Because this isn't her room. It all comes flooding back, and she remembers handing James off to Steve and falling asleep. So where is James?
In her haste to get up, she trips over something - someone - Eddie. He groans as she falls to the ground, letting out an 'oof' as the wind gets knocked out of her. He tuns and goes straight back to sleep - did he even wake up? - and she scrambles to get up and open the door, going through the short hallway to see Steve on the couch. She's about to shake him to wake him up, ask him where the fuck her child is, when she sees how he's laying. 
He's sprawled on the couch, one arm above his head. His mouth is open, and he is lightly snoring. One leg is off the couch and the other is laying off the end. And on his chest is James, one hand clutching Steve's shirt and the other stuffed in his mouth. Steve has one hand on James' back, and both boys look like they could stay asleep for 12 years. 
Y/N sees a camera on the counter and she grabs it, not willing to let this moment go. She lifts it and takes a picture, smiling as it pops out of the top. She watches as it develops, longing bursting through her even though the exact moment is still playing out in front of her. 
James stirs on Steve's chest, but before she can grab him Steve's eyes shoot open and his other hand goes to James. She quickly sets the camera to the side and pockets the photo, watching as Steve blinks slowly and smacks his lips together as he wakes up. James puts his hands on Steve's chest to sit up, looking at his mom and letting out a cry. 
"Oh," Y/N laughs, going to pick her baby up as Steve stretches, neck popping. "Thank you for taking him. I haven't had that much sleep in awhile." She watches as Steve smiles at her tiredly. James lets out another cry and Y/N sighs.
"I had to break into your trailer in the middle of the night to grab a bottle and diapers." He tells her. 
"Shoot, I didn't even think about that. I usually don't sleep for that long, I thought I would wake up before he needed anything." She feels embarrassed that Steve went into her messy living space and had to change her baby. She'd had a couple close friends babysit for an hour or two, but she'd never have someone take care of her baby like that. 
It felt nice. 
"Don't worry about it. We had a fun time. He only cried once, and it was at your place." Steve leans over and grabs Clover, the small tan bear that James could hardly bear to be separated from that justice fallen from his grasp while he slept. 
"Thats why I didn't wake up." She looks at James, who is babbling as if he's gonna tell her all about his and Steve's night. "I'm sure you had fun with Stevie." Y/N tells him, blinking when he screams. 
"I take that as a yes." Steve hopes the blush rushing to his cheeks isn't that obvious. 
"Thank you so much, Steve. You're a life saver." She reaches in for a hug, letting James squeal in between them. 
"Anytime."
~
"Hey, where does Steve live?" Y/N had called Eddie, which was strange because she lived a literal 3 second walk to his trailer. 
"Uh," Eddie blinks, not sure what to answer. "Is there a reason you want to stalk my friend?" 
"I'm not stalking!" She laughs, but Eddie is still confused. "I made him a cake." She says it quietly, and his eyes widen. 
"Y/N," He starts, trying to think of what to say. "Why did you bake Steve Harrington a cake?" How is Steve Harrington pulling Eddie's hot neighbor? 
"He took care of James all night last week. I need to do something nice to thank him." She says it as if its so obvious, and Eddie just nods. 
"Uh, I can give you his street. You know what his car looks like, and he doesn't have work today so he's probably there with the kids or something." At his words Y/N's heart races a little bit, because Steve is just so good at taking care of children and she finds it so, so hot. 
"Okay, that's fine." Y/N tells him. She almost drops the phone when he answers.
Steve lives on the rich side of town. He lives on the opposite side of her.
"You there?" Eddie asks when she goes silent. 
"Yeah, sorry. When is he coming to yours, Ed?" She asks. She doesn't want to know just how rich Steve is.
She's weird about money. She works at the diner, where James plays in the playpen that she spent way to much money on and the owners graciously let her keep James there. She barely makes enough to live at the trailer park and pay for James' things. What was she thinking, making Steve a cake? 
"Tonight." Eddie smirks. He'd like to give himself the credit for getting Y/N and Steve together. He knew they would be perfect together, because Y/N's hot and nice and has a child, which is basically Steve's type, and Steve is nice and great with kids, which is basically all Y/N's ever wanted.
So yeah, he's gonna take the credit for this one. 
"You should come over." Eddie smirks. "And before you say anything you can bring James." He knows her main excuse is James, and that for some reason she's backing away from him. 
"He's just going to be loud and probably ruin everyone's time." She tells Eddie, and sighs when James yells. 
"Well Steve clearly doesn't care." Eddie knows he's pushing it. 
"I'll think about it." She whispers before hanging up. 
People should just call him the matchmaker.
~
"Where the hell is Steve?" Eddie asks after Robin shows up and Steve isn't immediately following. Robin furrows her brows as Nancy walks through the door, holding a bag of snacks and booze. Jonathan follows, a small bag of weed in hand.
"He called and told me he was already here." Robin says, confused because when she looks into the small trailer Steve is nowhere to be found. 
"He hasn't showed up." Eddie turns to let Robin in, who goes to check the bathroom and Eddie's room as if he was lying. 
"What the hell," Robin mutters. Eddie looks around, concerned. He hadn't heard from Steve, and he didn't know why he told Robin that he would be here when he hadn't even talked to Eddie about that. He was starting to worry when he looked out the window and spotted Y/N's trailer, and right behind it a beamer stuck out. 
"I know where he is." Eddie announced, smirk on his face as he turned to the rest of the group. They all stared at him expectantly as he paused for dramatic effect. "Isn't it obvious? He's at Y/N's." 
~
Y/N was covered in everything from flour from the cake to spit-up from James when she opened the door and saw Steve, standing there in his probably expensive clothing and even more expensive cologne. 
It was all she could think about. She knew it was wrong, and she tried to think about how Steve had taken care of James all night, how he had even thought to grab Clover. She thought of the polaroid on her end table next to her couch. 
"Steve," She sounded breathy and Steve was already head over heels for her. 
"Hey," Oh God, he forget how to flirt. The most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen and he was going to blow it. "I was on my way to Eddie's and I thought I'd stop by." He told her with a small smile. 
"So you're not exhausted from the other night?" She turned to open the door wider. He looked tired, and she knew that he was probably still trying to catch up after sleeping on the couch and waking up in the middle of the night for James. 
"I just don't sleep well." He said as he walked into the trailer. "I came by to see if you needed any help before tonight. Eddie told me you were coming." Of course he did. 
"I actually really need to take a shower? James is sleeping, so it shouldn't be too bad. Thank you so much." She practically rushes to the bathroom, so excited to be able to take a long shower. Well, not long, but long,  but much longer than the two minute showers she'd had to take while James played on the bathroom floor. 
Once she felt like a new woman, she walked out to see Steve sitting on the couch, staring at the picture she had taken at Eddie's. 
"This is adorable." Steve told her, smirking. She felt herself flush at the fact that Steve found the picture. 
"I thought so too." She said, sitting on the couch next to him. She yawned, which caused Steve to yawn in turn. They smiled at each other. 
"Maybe we could watch some TV before going to Eddie's." Steve suggested, knowing that all he wanted was sleep. This would do though. At least they would be resting. 
"Good idea." She reached for the remote. "We just have to be quiet, because I might kill you if James wakes up." She's only half joking, so Steve smiles. 
"Fine by me." He says, shrugging. 
Five minutes later, they're both passed out on each other. 
And that's how Eddie and Robin find them when they walk in after their knocks go unanswered. Steve looks uncomfortable, his back against the couch and his legs still in sitting position, but his mouth is open and he's snoring. He's got an arm around Y/N and the other under his head. Y/N is laying practically on top of him, legs curled up with a peaceful smile resting on her face. 
"You've gotta be joking." Robin says softly, blinking at them. Of course they were taking a nap. 
"Are we surprised?" Eddie asks, and the two simply shake their heads and leave Y/N and Steve to their nap.
~
"Why didn't you tell me his birthday was tomorrow?" Steve looks hurt as he follows Y/N across the lawn to Eddie's, holding James so Y/N can hold the bottles of margaritas and the diaper bag. James squeals as if he agrees, which makes Y/N roll her eyes.
"I'm telling you now, aren't I?" She had only told Steve because he saw the presents hiding in the shower, small boxes nicely wrapped. When he asked, Y/N nonchalantly told him that James' party was tomorrow because that's when his birthday was and Steve was welcome to come, she was making a cake-
"You should have told me sooner!" He argues as they walk up the steps.
"I thought Eddie would've told you." She shrugs, kicking the door so someone will open it.
"Well, don't you look like the perfect family." Robin is already intoxicated as she leans against the door, smirking at Steve.
"Did you know James' birthday is tomorrow?" Steve asks as he follows Y/N into the house. Robin snorted.
"Yes, Eddie told us last week." Nancy raises her eyebrows, because they all remember why Steve hadn't heard about it - the two had fallen asleep in Y/N's trailer instead of going to Eddie's. They had woken up sore, Steve moving Y/N to the bed before driving home, smiling like an idiot the whole time.
"Well no one told me!" Steve slaps his free hand against his thigh, causing James to slap his hand against Steve's chest.
"Oh my God, it is not that big of a deal!" Y/N has already poured herself a marg and put the diaper bag down in the corner. "If you have to work it's fine! It's his first birthday, he is not going to remember it." She takes a large gulp of her margarita - more like multiple gulps - and Steve puts a hand to the middle of his eyebrows.
He looks like such a dad.
"How am I supposed to get him presents?" Steve asks finally. Everyone stares for a second until Eddie louts out a loud laugh. It startles James, who lets out a cry and reaches for his mom. She frowns and lets out a small sigh, taking her baby and shushing him as he cries against her chest. 
"Steve, he's one!" Eddie yells, making James let out another cry. 
"Maybe don't yell." Y/N takes another big drink of her margarita while bouncing her baby. 
"What does he want? What do you need?" Steve ignores everyone and looks straight at Y/N, who lets out a sigh. 
"You can bring a fruit salad." She tells him with an eye roll, putting James down on the ground as he starts to wiggle. 
"I need to bring something else." Steve kneels down and grabs Clover out of the diaper bag, making a face at James as he gave the baby the stuffie. 
"You don't. I'm telling you right now that you can just bring yourself and that is fine." Steve shakes his head at Y/N's words, grabbing the beer that Eddie handed him.
"You think I'm gonna come to a party and not bring a gift?" Steve stands and crosses an arm while taking a sip of the beer. 
"Oh my God." Y/N's margarita must be done because she refills it. "Steve, if you don't come here tomorrow I will go to your house and force you to come here. And James is not going to give a shit if you have a present, as long as you're here." 
"Shit!" When James screams it, everyone turns to him. Y/N takes a deep breath. 
"This is your fault."  She looks at Steve, who is covering his mouth to hid his smile. 
"How is it my fault!" He asks, eyes wide.  
"Stop asking stupid questions." She is drinking her margarita like it's water while everyone else is still on their first drink.
"Maybe you should smoke some?" Jonathan suggests, earning the dirtiest look from Y/N. 
"Around the baby?" Nancy smacks Jonathan's arm and rolls her eyes, taking a drink out of her red solo. 
"Oh my God," Eddie rolls his eyes and downs his whole beer. 
"Can I bring alcohol to James' party?" Robin asks. Steve scoffs. 
"Robin, Jesus," He rolls his eyes and leans against the counter, next to Y/N. She leans against him, and his hand goes to her waist. Robin and Eddie shared a look, but neither of them were drunk enough to comment. 
"It's a valid question!" Robin defends. 
"Yes, it is alcohol friendly." Y/N tells them with a smile. She leans further into Steve as she takes another drink. James gets tired of playing with Clover and tries to make a break for it to Eddie's room, Steve shifts his weight to put a foot out, stopping James from going any further. He sits back and looks up at Steve, wide eyes looking betrayed. 
"What do you want for your birthday, hm?" Steve leans down and picks James up again, who screams and puts his hand in his mouth, chewing. "Maybe some teething toys." He pulls James' hand out of his mouth and lifts his eyebrows as James scrunches his face and lets out a cry, legs kicking. Steve struggles to keep his beer from toppling where it's pressed against the baby.
"That was so mean." Y/N frowns dramatically, grabbing a piece of ice from Eddie's fridge. She placed it on James' gums, and the baby immediately began sucking on it. 
"I cannot right now," Robin took Eddie's beer and chugged it, leaving Eddie to stare frozen.
"I need another margarita." Y/N turns and lets Steve hold the ice for James as she pours another large cup. 
"Oh, it's gonna be a fun night." Eddie grabs another beer and pops it on the counter. James grabs the ice from Steve in a swift move and lets out a scream as he throws it on the floor. Steve just stares before switching his beer to his free hand and downing it. He accepts fresh one from Jonathan, who had gotten up to refill his own drink, as James cries. 
"I think he's just tired." Y/N sighs, putting her drink down and grabbing James from Eddie's arms. "We shouldn't have brought him here." The way she says we makes Steve go a little dumb for a second. All he can thinking about is the fact that she thinks of him and her and James together - like a family. He would never say it out loud, because he's sure she doesn't mean it like that, but he's already run with the idea. All he's wanted since he realized his parents were never getting any better was to have a family of his own, his people that he could take care of. 
"Just put him to bed in my room." Eddie flicks his hand toward the back of the trailer, and Y/N blinks. 
"Your sheets would give my child twenty-seven different diseases." Y/N talks over James' cries, which are just empty cries from his tiredness. Jonathan starts coughing when a spurt of beer goes up his nose from laughing. Eddie rolls his eyes. 
"I just washed them!" Even James became quiet at that. No one believed these lies. "Okay, I know how it sounds, but I promise I did! Go check!" Y/N shares a look with Steve, and they both walk to the back room to see what they're dealing with. 
"I was not expecting this." Y/N says when she finds Eddie's bed unmade but clean. 
"He's probably having someone over soon." Steve chuckles as she lays James down. She sighs as she begins moving the pillows to create a barrier so James doesn't roll off the bed. 
"I didn't bring a bottle." She whispers, soothing the space between her baby's eyes. James goes from being wide awake to being slightly sleepy, but it doesn't work as quickly as Steve has seen his bottle work. 
"I packed one before I left. I think Eddie has some milk." Steve gets up and leaves quickly, and Y/N isn't sure if it's the alcohol or Steve that makes her heart warm. 
"Do you wanna know a secret, James?" She whispers, leaning in close. James kicks his legs and babbles some gibberish, smiling at his mother. "I think I like Steve Harrington." She smiles as he giggles. 
"Eef!" He repeats, and it doesn't sound anything like Steve but she laughs anyway. 
"What're we laughing at?" Steve comes back in with a bottle, and as Y/N sits up James gets excited, kicking his legs and waving his arms, excited for the bottle Steve was holding. Steve shakes it a little bit as he sits on the bed, handing the bottle to James. The baby drinks it quickly, his eyes closing. Y/N and Steve stay quiet as they wait for James to fall asleep. 
"You can go out there. I'll wait for him to fall asleep." Y/N whispers as she cards her fingers through James' short hair. 
"We're in this together." Steve puts a hand on her knee, and she melts into the touch. She looks up at him, and in that moment she wants to push Steve on the bed and kiss him senseless. Before she can do anything, James lets out a hiccup and they both look at him. He's asleep, the bottle laying discarded on the side. 
"Thank you." She says when they both exit the room, carefully shutting the door. She thanks God they don't have the money to buy one of those fancy ass noise machines, so James will likely fall asleep fine with the party going on. He's fallen asleep to worse in the trailer park.
"Anytime. I meant it." He tells her, and she knows her cheeks are heating. They were already warm from the alcohol, but this is worse. She needs another drink. 
"At least now we can hang out without a kid interrupting everything." She grabs his hand in a bold moment, and she watches his face blush as he squeezes it and smirks at her. 
"For the record," Steve says as he picks up her red solo cup to give to her, his beer in his other hand. "I'm okay with your kid interrupting us." There's music playing as he takes her free hand to pull her into him, ignoring the laughs and jokes from the others who are sprawled in the small living room. 
"You don't mind it?" She asks as she lets him place her hand on his chest, his own going to her waist, just a little bit lower than modest. 
"Not one bit." He shrugs as he says the next part. "But I am glad to have you all to myself at last." She leans closer and tucks her head into his chest, because otherwise he would see the stupid look on her face. 
Oh yeah, she's head over heels for him. 
~
When Steve shows up, Y/N's heart races, and not just because of the tight ass jeans Steve is wearing. He's carrying about five presents, ranging from huge to a small gift bag, and a bowl of fruit salad. 
"Steve Harrington," She starts, James on one hip and a probably alcoholic drink in a pineapple cup in the other. Her trailer is decorated in beach themes, a table with drinks and food and different color pineapple cups on the table. James has a small pineapple cup that's blue, matching his white shirt and blue overalls, the outfit being topped off by a blue hat with blue sunglasses. 
He looks adorable. 
The only thing better than James' outfit its Y/N's. She's matching him, blue sunglasses and all, her own blue hat a baseball cap with a Hawaiian flower on it. Her pineapple cup matches the colors of a normal pineapple, the only one to have done so. 
"Robin and Nancy got me all the decorations." Y/N smiles, distracting Steve from the sunglasses and hat Robin puts on him. Nancy throws a lei over his shoulders before he even knows what's going on. 
"Why didn't we just throw this at my pool?" Steve asks, setting his gifts down on the apparent gift table and puts the fruit salad on the food table. 
"Seef!" James calls. Y/N lets out a laugh as he reaches his short arms over to Steve. 
"That's better than 'eef.'" She tells Steve, his face all smiles as he takes James. Steve tickles the infants stomach, who giggles and squeals. 
"I didn't know you had a pool." Y/N goes to make Steve a drink, picking the large blue pineapple. This is not technically a lie, as she didn't know for sure. She had a pretty good idea, however. 
"You never asked." He smirked as he took the drink from Y/N's hand. He took a sip and almost coughed. "A bit strong, don't ya think?" 
"Well, you're three drinks behind!" Eddie yells from his trailer, carrying two six packs of beers and a present. "And the kids are coming soon." 
"What kids?" Steve asks, taking a larger gulp. 
"I invited your kids." The way she says it makes Steve's heart light, his kids. 
"I made Jon take them so I could start on the drinks." Nancy raises her pink pineapple, and Robin clinks her purple one against it. 
"We told them the start time was half an hour later so we can make a dent in the alcohol!" By Robin's laugh, it seems they have made a dent in the alcohol pretty well. Steve drinks more of his drink. 
"Steve could you come help me get the pack-n-play from inside? That way James can sit in it and we can play some games." She smiles as Steve hands James off to Robin, who is making grabby hands with the one not clutching the drink. The two walk up the steps and into the trailer, their sunglasses pushed to their forehead.
"What're you doin'?" Steve asks as Y/N rifles around her kitchen drawers. 
"What you think I invited you in just for that stupid old thing? I tug that shit with me to work and back everyday." She smiles as she pulls out the cigarette and a lighter. Steve smirks. 
"They're gonna realize even if we only smoke one each." He says, but he's moving toward her. 
"That's why we're sharing one." She smiles as she pops it in her mouth and lights it, taking a drag before handing it to Steve. He takes a hit, thinking shortly about shotgunning with her, however Y/N turns toward the open window and sticks her head out, blowing the smoke. Steve smiles as he presses up against her to let the smoke out. They take a few more hits, almost reaching the end of the cigarette before someone catches them. 
"You idiots." Eddie pokes his head around the trailer, and Steve has to lean uncomfortably to turn around. 
"Go back and babysit for five more minutes!" Y/N giggles, and Steve turns toward her and smiles. 
"I hate you guys." Eddie leaves, which means he doesn't see the moment Y/N's eyes venture to Steve's lips, the moment they both lean in slightly, foreheads bumping. 
"Steve!" Of course Dustin interrupts, and Steve hits his shoulder against the windowsill as Y/N accidentally hits her forehead against him. 
"Fuck," She mutters as her sunglasses fall to her nose.
"That little shit." Steve slides back into the trailer as Y/N follows, him going to grab the pack-n-play and her putting the cigarette out while pushing her sunglasses back up. 
Oh God, she almost kissed Steve Harrington.
She takes a deep breath, fanning at her face with Steve's back turned, before she grabs both of their drinks and follows him out. 
"He is so tiny." Y/N sees El smiling at James, who is blinking at her with wide eyes. He's never been around this many people, and Y/N knows that soon he's gonna scream. She makes herself and Steve another drink - spiked punch, her favorite - and hands it to him before grabbing James from Max's arms. She nods her head hard to make the sunglasses fall and deposits James into his pack-n-play, smiling as Steve comes out of the trailer with Clover and a couple other toys. 
"Hey, what're you drinking?" Dustin asks Steve as he looks over the drinks on the table. 
"If I catch you with even a drop of this, your ass is grass." Steve grabs a coke from the ice chest and shoes it at the kid. "That goes for all of you little," Steve trails off as he hears James squeal, remembering last night when James repeated the one word he shouldn't. 
"You're no fun." Max frowns as she grabs a coke. 
"We're not kids anymore." Mike crosses his arms like a child, crossing his point. 
"You're always gonna be kids." Jonathan smirks, finishing off his beer. 
"Henderson, you're going to be a kid until you're married and have kids, alright." Steve cuts him off, rolling his eyes but still catching Y/N's quick flinch. "Poor choice of wording, I'm sorry." Steve tries, taking a long swig of his drink from the straw. 
"It's alright, I get it." She smiled. She did get it. Times may have changed slightly, however they hadn't changed enough for her to be accepted by everyone. 
"I didn't mean it like that." Steve tries again, but Y/N just shakes her head. 
"It's fine." She knows he didn't mean it. She knows it's just the way Steve views the life cycle. 
God, she was a fool. Steve probably wanted to start fresh, wanted to have his own kids after being married. 
"It's not," Steve moves closer to make it a more private conversation. Everyone begins to start talking in groups, and Eddie begins trying to set up a way to play music outside and not blast it from his trailer. "I swear I didn't mean it like that." He feels like shit for chosing his words so poorly. Before Y/N can respond, James is screaming and she's rushing to him. It seems he's just hungry, so she decides it's time for presents so they can get right on to cake. 
"Can you grab a chair from around back?" She asks Steve, who nods and grabs one. He sets it down next to the presents, and everyone gathers around. 
"Thank you guys for coming." Y/N smiles at her friends, heart beating with love. "I'm so lucky that I live next to someone with such great friends." She jokes, looking at Eddie. He raises his bottle to her as everyone laughs and insists they're all friends. 
James isn't helpful with opening the presents, trying to chew the wrapping paper at every chance he gets. Steve is luckily quick enough to get it out of his mouth, but this makes James angry. Everyone got the cutest gifts, like the clothes Nancy and Jonathan brought to the baby guitar Eddie proudly gave. The kids got cute figurines and bath toys, and she'd opened a couple of Steve's gifts - teething toys. She almost cried when she opened them, asking Steve to put them in the freezer right away. When he got out, she was opening the largest present - a cute little kitchen that she can put in her living room so James can pretend to cook. Y/N was glad the sunglasses hid her teary eyes. 
"You didn't have to do this." She tells Steve as everyone begins helping with the cleanup. 
"Of course I did." He turns to James and smiles, tickling his stomach. "Anything for my family."
Oh yeah. She's head over heels alright.
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-1877 @roxaya @sadbitchfangirl @gloryekaterinaa @oblivion-void @alexshaff2002 @m-rae23 @mcueveryday @mads-weasley @alicetweven @damon-loves-pie @gaysludge @l0v3e1i 
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boozenboze · 2 years
Text
Dose of Caffine
Tf 141 x Male reader
Summary:Being a Captain in the military causes a lack in sleep.Drinking some coffee could convince them to stay awake, while a certain someone encourages them to sleep
Captain John Price x Male reader
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Being one of the captains on the base was tough. No matter what you always have papers to sign and recruits to put in line. Feeling his body beginning to relax. He pushed himself out of his seat and made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed a coffee mug from the cabinet, as well as some fresh dark roasted coffee beans. Once the coffee finished brewing he poured himself a cup and let it cool for a moment. l took a sip of it and sighed at the comforting warmth traveling down my throat. After I finished, my heart was beating much faster and I felt more awake. “I’ll be able to finish those papers, hopefully.” I said to myself as I went back to my office.
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M/n’s body was slouched over his desk. He had fallen asleep and some of his drool dripped onto the papers. Sure the Caffine should’ve kept him awake but it seems that it failed. His light snores could be heard because of the silence in the room,besides the slight crackling noises of a candle that he had lighted. The rhumps of his heart got louder until his eyes snapped open.
.
.
.
The male jolted up, eyes averting in every direction. He looked down at his paper that had small drops of his drool. He sighed as he wiped the excess of, leaving the paper slightly damp. He glanced at his coffee for a moment before sighing. He suspected that he hadn’t been sleep long since the mug was still warm. It was about to be a long night.
.
.
.
How long has it been now... 2 hours? Its 3 am now and I feel tired.I really wanna get this shit done now. I understand im a Captain but jeez, I think my eyes wanna pop out their sockets. I don’t know how much longer i’ll be sitting here, I just hope it’s not for long. My sleeping schedules already been fucked up for the last few days, I think I’ll start going crazy if I don’t sleep.
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The male hadn’t slept at all that night. The amount of caffeine he had consumed the previous night made his adrenaline high. Not to mention he was anxious and it didn’t help that his heart was still pounding against his chest. He had dropped off the documents to their respected places and took a breath kf relief. After that he had his breakfast and downed a tall glass of orange juice.It was sweet, not to mention healthy. Despite that, the taste of that french vanilla dark roast still lingered in his mouth, and gave him an itch to drink some.
A sip of coffee wouldn’t kill him right? It’s just coffee,plus it was his favorite flavor. Then with a splash of milk made it so much better. The h/c haired male stood up and went to the coffee machine. Someone must have dumped out the coffee he had made the previously since the pitcher was empty. He sighed and repeated the process he had done the previous night. Just as he was about to take a sip a familiar voice filled his ears.
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough C/n?” The voice said, M/n looked and saw John Price. The two knew each other quite well and M/n chuckled lightly, blush dusting his face.
“Hey Price...didn’t see ya there.” M/n said as Price took the cup out his man making the h/c haired male sigh.
“Price come on, it’s french vanilla it’s the best flavor!” M/n complained as Price put the coffee to the side.He examined the males face and saw how red his eyes were, which made his gaze soften.
“Did you sleep at all L/n?” Price asked as he gently put his hand on the males cheek, which made him hum and lean into the mans touch.
“Negative, had to finish those damn files and documents so I couldn’t.” M/n responded as Price hummed to himself, stroking the males cheek before leaning in and kissing him on the tip of his nose.
“Lets bring you to bed eh, your gonna need it.” Price spoke as M/n nodded in response, allowing the man to lead him to his room.
“Can I have my coffee afterwards though?”
“Negative.”
That ended up being the best nights sleep the male had in a while
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eastbubble · 5 months
Note
Was wondering if maybe we could get something with ghost x reader who’s outrageously terrified of thunderstorms and calls him sniffling and holding back tears asking if he can come over and then screaming as a very loud bang of thunder booms ? If not that’s okay! I love your work anyway🩷🫵
hello anon, i’m not sure if you wanted me to write this in a smutty way or just a fluffy one but i tried my best >_< i changed the story up a tad if that’s okay. thanks for the request ! <3 and sorry for disappearing ! school and sports r taking up my time. ><
you never really thought that a relationship had any benefits besides having someone to come home to, but when your relationship with simon began you had to realize that this whole idea in your head was completely wrong. he wasn’t just a person to come home to.
maybe because you two still didn’t live together. so you technically couldn’t come home to him.. but you almost lived at his place by now. he was for sure so tired of you calling him in the middle of the night, asking him to come over because of something so silly, something so stupid. spiders in the corner, ants infesting the house, no wifi, bad tv signal, or the worst (in your case); a thunderstorm.
you were listening to the sounds your phone made as you called simon with shaky hands, your finger on the red circle as you were sure he won’t pick up this time. you’ve annoyed him like this so many times before, there was no way he would be willing to help you after all of these — or so you thought. you kept a tissue to soak your tears up with close to your eyes, your vision already blurry from the crying you had done earlier.
“baby? what’s up?” his voice was tired and grumpy, it sounded like he just woke up, but you knew that couldn’t be because he never really slept before 4 am. he never did. “everything okay over there?” slight concern. the only thing you could make out of his words was some worry and that’s it. thank God that he didn’t sound like he was mad.
“si. ‘m scared.”
“huh? what is it? ‘s someone there?” he spoke through the phone. “talk to me, baby.” his voice was a little gentler once he heard your silence on the other end of the line.
you sighed almost silently, making sure he didn’t hear the sniffle that you just let out. you felt like a dumb little kid for crying over something like this, but when you heard the faint sound of a thunder bang you immediately knew that you had to speak up. you actually had someone that was worried for you, waiting for you to say something. “just this.. fucking rain and the whole, um.. the whole thing that comes with it.”
“the thunderstorm, you mean?” his feeling of relief was louder than the wind outside. it was like some kind of weight had been pushed off his shoulders. “don’t tell me it’s that again or-“
“it is. i’m sorry to disturb you.. especially at this hour, but..” you sighed softly again, feeling slightly threatened by his last sentence. you knew you had no reason to be worried or scared but the way he worded what he wanted to say sometimes sounded like he was mad at you (you were so wrong!). “could you please come over. please.” it didn’t sound like a question, just a request.
he audibly sighed. oh, he was annoyed!
“i’ll be there in 10. i suppose you’re in bed so.. stay under the blankets, okay?” what a rhetorical question. you wouldn’t survive climbing out of bed when it sounds like the world in ending outside. you couldn’t even roll the blinds down to make the thunders less visible, there was absolutely no way you would step foot outside your bed at a time like this.
and just like he promised, ten minutes later he was already entering your home with his own keys, making his way towards your bedroom as he immediately lay on top of you like a weighted blanket that was alive. he wrapped his arms tightly around you, holding you close to his chest while you still lay under him, completely motionless as he was practically squeezing every last breath out of you. “si..!”
“i’m here, ‘s okay luv..” he mumbled, his voice raspy as he finally let you go. he rolled onto his back and gently scooped you up into his arms, making you fight back a bit and you two ended up in such a position where you were just laying flat on top of him. he chuckled lightly as he felt like he already succeeded — it seemed like you immediately forgot about the thunderstorm outside as soon as he arrived and grabbed you.
the rest of the night was basically the same thing on repeat. soft little movements, your bodies moving in unison everytime either you or him made the silent suggestion to shift positions. he always kept his large palms close to your ears in case a loud thunder were to interrupt the long cuddle-session. the whole thing was just about holding each other close through the whole night and not letting go.
soft little murmurs of how sleepy you are were the only things to be heard now, alongside the loud sounds of the icy rain hitting your window. well, summerime weather is weird.
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kitixie · 1 year
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Little Girl Gone (pt 4)
synopsis: After a night at the Shelby house, you're left feeling wanting.
information: this chapter is a little shorter than the last, but i promise the next one will make up for it!!
word count: 1.4k
warnings: sexual content, minors dni, cursing
taglist: @budugu, @ajmiila02, @filmtv2022, @cyphah, @ce1iat, @thenattitude, @globetrotter28, please let me know if youd like to be tagged!
thank you all so much for reading and interacting with my story. this is my first time writing something longer than two parts, and it makes my heart warm knowing that people enjoy it. <3
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You slept peacefully that night for the first time in a long time. It had been ages since you slept fully through the night, always waking up from some bad dream or a strange noise in your house. But next to Tommy, you felt nothing but safe and content. You could feel the heat radiating off of him, and that’s partially what woke you. Your eyes peeled open, slowly but surely adjusting to the sunlight that was entering the room. A soft yawn escaped your mouth, and you moved to see if you could read the clock on his bedside table. It was only 7, so you decided to try and go back to sleep for a few more hours, or at least until your bed companion woke up on his own. Carefully shimmying your way back to the warm spot you had been sleeping in, you felt Tommy drape his arm back over your side. He pulled you closer, mumbling in his sleep. Just as he finally was settling back down, you felt something hard pressing into your lower back. 
‘That isn’t… is it?’ You thought, feeling a burst of heat rush to your face. 
You tried to be as still as you could so you wouldn’t wake Tommy, but he was poking your back quite hard. You laid still for as long as you could manage, and then shifted your hips away from him, leaving your upper body in the same spot. Finally free from the pain of his cock in your back, you started to drift back to sleep, with absolutely foul thoughts circling your head. 
“Mhm, Y/N. That feels good,” Tommy mumbled after a few minutes,  just as you were tottering on the edge of consciousness. 
You froze, suddenly coming back to full awareness, unable to fall back asleep. 
-
Tommy had been awake the entire time, of course he’d never let you know that. He had woken up when you moved away from him, and he watched as you peered at the clock on the small table. He had tried every trick in the book to get his body to cooperate with him. So he closed his eyes, and pretended to sleep. He had thought of his grandmother, he had thought of dead dogs, he had tried every trick he could remember from his teenage years besides jerking his cock with his fist. He cursed himself silently when you scooted back against him, knowing that having your body pressed to his certainly wasn’t going to help his situation. He felt bad at first, then gave himself some grace. How could he possibly not get hard when he had you here, in his bed? You were so close to him, he could smell your hair, and count your breaths. He had thought of this incident so many times, that it almost didn’t seem real. He had dreamt of you in his bed with him, curling against his body during the night. Being the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes in the morning. He could feel you moving though, and as soon as the contact between both of your hips was gone, he began to fall back asleep. He had always fallen asleep fast, he just hoped he didn’t talk in his sleep this time like he normally did. 
-
Tommy woke before you this time, only leaving the comfort of his bed when he was on the verge of pissing himself. He could’ve sworn he stayed in the toilet no longer than 5 minutes, but once he had returned to his room, he found his bed empty. 
You had been woken by the creak of bed springs as Tommy got up. Remembering the events from earlier that morning, you decided that you weren’t ready to face him yet; even thinking of it made you blush. You quickly realized the time, and knew Pol would have breakfast going by now. Getting off the bed as quietly as possible, you slipped on your now dry clothes and hurried downstairs to the kitchen. 
Sure enough, Pol stood over the stove stirring something in a pot. 
“Y/N, come, sit. Breakfast is almost ready,” Pol said, giving you a small smile over her shoulder. 
You nodded, even though she had already turned back around. You felt slightly bad for leaving Tommy alone, but dealing with him in front of Pol would be hard enough for you, much less dealing with him alone in the confines of his bedroom. 
Pol played whatever it was she had cooked, just as Tommy came down the stairs. He had changed from his pajamas into his everyday clothes, a pair of pressed slacks, a white shirt and a vest, accessorized with his golden pocket watch. He offered you a sly smile, which made you gulp. Once you realized he was staring, you gave a small smile back. As Pol placed the food in front of you, you began to struggle with your imagination. Every time Tommy would bend over, or look down, or hell, even put food in his mouth, your brain turned it into something obscene. Thinking about his fingers going all of your body, exploring you like an unknown territory. His mouth, pressing warm kisses to your shoulder and breast. His hips, thrusting to hit yours while he bent you over his desk. Your face flushed, and suddenly your appetite was gone. 
“Pol, breakfast was great. Thank you,” you swallowed. “And, thank you Tommy, for letting me stay. But I-, uh, I need to go home. I’ll see you both soon!” You said, collecting your coat from the bench seat and giving them a wave as you spun out of the door. 
-
Once finally home, you could relax. You changed into clean clothes, and put on a pot of tea. You sat on your couch, reviewing all of the moments that had happened between you and Thomas over the past twenty-four hours. The almost-kiss, the office confession, the sleep-over, then the mornings erection. You felt your face heat, and a frustrated groan came from your throat. You were tired of being teased. You were a grown woman, if Tommy wouldn’t move on you, you could just do it yourself. 
You moved to your bedroom, closing the door behind you. Sitting on the edge of your bed, you removed your socks and stockings, and then laid back onto your mountain of pillows. You began to let your imagination run wild, picturing Tommy standing over you, giving you instruction. You slowly unbuttoned the top of your shirt, letting one hand slide to your breast. As that hand pinched and pulled at your nipple, the other slid down your waist. You bunched up your skirt, allowing your finger to trace over your folds beneath your underwear. You could hear Tommy’s voice clearly in your head. 
‘take them off, Y/N.” 
So you did. 
You slid off your panties and let them drop to the floor. Your hand now having full access to the most delicate part of your body. Your slim fingers toyed with the folds, eventually moving to your sweet spot. You moved them back and forth rapidly, all while imaging they were Tommy’s hands instead of your own. You kept this up, kept rubbing and circling until you felt a bubble start to build in your stomach. You drove two fingers inside yourself, imagining it was his cock this time. That thought alone made the bubble swell, coming to a head. Still toying with your breast, and still visualizing Tommy sliding in and out of you, the bubble burst. 
“Tommy!” you said, voice somewhere between a whisper and a moan. 
You could feel your own fluid coating your fingers, and your nipple was now sore, but it had been worth it. All of the built up tension between you and him had to be resolved, even if you were resolving it by yourself. 
-
After your little session, you decided on a nap. You hadn’t meant to sleep so long, but when you were woken by your doorbell at 6 pm, you realized your mistake. Quickly hopping out of bed, you noticed the long forgotten pot of tea on the counter, now grown cold. You peaked in the mirror in the bathroom, smoothing your hair with your hands, as the doorbell rang again. 
“Oi, one bloody second!” You shouted, still groggy from your nap. 
You finally made your way to the door, pulling it open. Standing on the other side, was none other than Mr. Shelby himself. 
“What’re ya doin’ here, Tommy?” You asked, trying to nonchalantly lean against the door frame. 
“Thought I’d come cook you dinner, if that’s alright?” He said, giving a slight nod. 
You slightly bowed, moving out of the way of the door. 
“Come on in,” You said, hoping that maybe you’d finally get some answers.
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