#Cardinal rules

[dluebirb]

So. ABOUT THAT FIC I PROMISED-

In my defence I got invited to a social function with people I want to be around, so what else was I supposed to do-

minor setbacks.

uhhh @justletmereadmycomics @fanatess @theosb0rnway you guys usually like this stuff?? Here ya go lol

This is part of my Cardinal Rules series, but you don't have to read it to make sense of this! Barely. If you want to get caught up on it, it is over here on Ao3!

Fic link on Ao3: Here

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The Housing Situation

Mikey’s POV

Mikey had recently concluded that living off warm, half-melted food in a tank was not optimal sustenance.

Don’t get him wrong, Mikey was overjoyed to have any food, given that the entire kitchen was barren, but only so much could be done with fruit snacks, pop tarts, and granola bars. He had a sinking feeling that with another meal, somebody might puke, and he wouldn’t blame them. Meals were always after training, anyway.

“What’s on the menu t’night, Miguel?” Leo asked, sheathing his twin katana and stretching on his tiptoes.

“If you say anything involving fruit snacks for the next month, I swear—” Casey Senior growled.

“Well, we don’t not have fruit snacks?”

Casey Senior grumbled, and Donnie’s mouth became a line.

“I’m getting fast food!” April decided and stuck her bat into her bag, zipping it up and slinging one strap over her shoulder.

“Yay, April!” Leo cheered and raised an arm, still holding one of his swords, into the air.

“Anyone got a request?”

“Anywhere but Wendy’s,” Donnie grumbled.

“Starbucks.”

“We’re not getting JUST Starbucks!” April groaned. “I’ll just raid Fred Meyers. Text me if you want anything specific.”

“No cold stuff unless you can buy a cooler!” Splinter reminded her.

April gave a thumbs-up as she stuck her phone in her pocket. “Be back in forty-five minutes, tops. If I’m not, then I’m probably dying.”

“April!”

“It’s a joke!” she reassured as she ascended the stairs to the outside world.

----

By April's return, Donnie was konked out on the couch, battle shell discarded on the ground next to him.

The small spines on his shell were finally uncompressed and puffed out a bit, no longer flattened to the rest of his shell. Soft snores occasionally came from the vicinity, face twitching slightly as Mikey undid his mask, removed his goggles, and set them aside.

“Yeah, baby!” Mikey cheered quietly with a giant grin as he saw April’s bags.

“Everyone say ‘Thank you, April,’” Splinter instructed them from where he was rifling through what little they did have.

A chorus of ‘thank you April’s rang around the room, and she put the bags down on the remnants of a broken table with a soft thud.

“Yo, Dee! Donnie. Wake up, bro,” Leo muttered, poking their purple brother insistently until the soft snores turned to a singular grunt.

“Nardo.”

“April brought food.”

“Finally! Some good news!”

“You’re welcome, Dee!” April called, cupping a hand around her mouth.

“Yes, yes, thank you, and such,” Donnie muttered, not quietly as he stood, and April could tell that he noticed his apparent lack of accessories but decided to let it be in the meantime.

The group leaned in to inspect April’s relatively simple wares and, save for microwaveable pizzas and breakfast burritos, much of the ‘grab-and-go’ variety. But, such was life.

“Reluctant sigh. Who knew that carbonated beverages could taste so good,” Donnie hummed as he downed one, in a move that Mikey thought was highly uncharacteristic for him.

“I did,” Leo retorted. “And so did anyone with taste, bro.”

Donnie gave him a sharp glare and bonked him on the head with the can before dropping it into a haphazardly labeled ‘recicling’ bag.

“This bag says ‘resi-clean’. Recycling is spelled with a ‘y’, dumdums.”

Raph gave Donnie a light glare in return, and with a black marker, crossed out the offending phrase, and wrote ‘ryclicling’.

“What? No! Instead of the ‘i’, not the ‘e’!”

“Oh, come on! You gotta give Raph something to work with, Dee!” Raph explained, and Mkey couldn’t help but giggle as he crossed out ‘ryclicling’, replacing it with ‘reciclyng’.

“THE OTHER ‘I’!”

“THEN YOU GOTTA TELL RAPH THAT!” Raph shouted back, sweat pooling on his forehead.

“UNLESS SPECIFIED, IT’S ALWAYS THE FIRST LETTER!”

Donnie and Raph gave each other equal looks of frustration and desperation, and Raph finally crossed it out, writing ‘recycling.’

“Oh, thank Pizza Supreme in the Sky.”

Ignoring his brothers, Mikey rifled through April’s bags, which, aside from real food, included three air mattresses, Pez dispensers, and parts of a bed set. Mikey took some paper plates from another of April’s bags.

“Protein bars and dried fruit, as the world intended!”

Mikey smiled to himself and arranged a relatively nutritious plate for each of them. Or as nutritious as one could get with protein bars and dried fruit. Contrary to April’s apparent beliefs, they were not as the world intended.

Though, he realized it might be safer for Casey Junior. The guy sometimes could have taken better to actual food as he did to non-perishables like beans or butter. Mikey had no idea how half a stick of butter was less toxic for his stomach than an excellent old-fashioned PB&J., And Mikey was pretty sure he wasn’t allergic either!

“Say, what’s with the air mattresses in the other bags, Apes?” Leo asked conversationally, and April carefully chewed her dried banana slice before answering.

“Figured that since Mike and Junior still don’t have rooms, they might need somewhere to sleep. You feel me?”

“Touche. Alright, let’s think. Who do we have to house?” Leo asked.

“There’s us four, plus dad, that’s five. I haven’t had time to forge documents for Junior yet, so six,” Donnie rattled off.

“I’m moving back in with my mom until my campus is back on dorms,” April said.

“I am still in my human apartment above you,” Draxum supplied.

“I don’t have a permanent residence,” Casey Senior admitted.

“Well,” April began. “Know what’s great about the apocalypse?” Without waiting for a reply, she continued. “The housing market opens up like movie theaters in summer, and prices are about as much as I paid for all this! There’s an apartment a few doors down from me that I’m pretty sure you could get your paws on.”

“You’ve got papers, right?” Donnie asked the ex-Foot General.

“I was born legally if that’s what you mean. The Foot legally gave each recruit an apartment room.”

“First legal thing they ever did, huh? Regardless, that will do.”

Splinter managed to look pensive while eating a bag of Cheetos. “So the six of us remain, yes?”

Donnie nodded. “And with four rooms between us.”

“Well, who’s got the biggest rooms?” Raph asked, and Donnie typed on his wrist computer as he munched on a protein bar.

“The three of us have rooms about the same size,” Donnie explained, gesturing to himself, Raph, and Leo. “We haven’t unpacked everything, so most places are fair game.”

“Either of you got a preference?” Leo asked, and Casey Junior shrugged.

“I can just set one up in the living room; you don’t have to—” he began but was cut off.

“Nope, nope, nope, nope. We are not couch surfers in this house, Future Boy,” Splinter shook his head adamantly, and Casey put his hands up in defense.

“Ooh! Can I room with you, Dee?” Mikey asked, jumping at the opportunity.

“I suppose so, Angelo.”

“Ouch,” Leo smirked, and Mikey stuck his tongue out.

“I still love you, Leo!”

“Yeah, yeah, ditto.” Turning to Junior, he asked, “You got a preference between me and Raph?”

“I don’t mind,” the human said, if not a little sheepishly.

“Cool. I’m stealing you, in that case. You good with that, Raph?”

Raph gave a thumbs-up. “Raph’s all good!”

“How much sleep are any of them going to be getting?” April asked Casey Senior in a hushed tone.

“By the looks of them? Very little.”

“I take offense to that!” Mikey called, and April chuckled.

“You’ll survive, Mike. Eat your canned peaches.”

Leo’s POV

Leo watched Cassandra and Baron Draxum as they watched April as she nearly submerged herself in a duffle bag. She seemingly found what she had been looking for and straightened her glasses.

“All that for a measly shoe?” Baron Draxum inquired, and April nodded.

“It’s a good shoe! Don’t you two have any packing up to do?”

“We do not live here.”

“Huh. Guess not! Well, let’s go! Grab those bags?”

Cassandra shrugged and took two plastic bags, regaining her footing as April nearly dragged her like a corpse down the corridor.

Meanwhile, Leo made a mental note: blowing up two air mattresses should be done after taking them into any room — particularly a room with a narrow doorway.

Well. Better late than never.

“Okay, turn them the long way… Back up… And run at ’em!”

Mikey and Casey Junior took off at a sprint.

“We can just portal them in,” Leo said, throwing his hands up in disbelief.

“Yeah, but this is still better!” Mikey said as he and Casey rammed their mattresses; they passed the threshold. “Yeah, baby! That’s how we do!”

“Well, you did something, that’s for sure,” Leo muttered and helped Casey up.

“Something cool!” Mikey corrected.

“Sure, Mike.”

As it happened, both mattresses had made it around halfway to the unoccupied area of the car.

“Hey, if it works, it works!” April said, and Leo turned to her. The human looked amused, and a bag slung over her shoulder. Cassandra stood next to her with a few old store bags.

“Are you guys heading out?”

“Yeah, we’ll be back tomorrow. Try not to drive each other crazy?”

“No promises!”

As Leo returned to his room, Casey successfully pushed the mattress to the open part of his room.

“Yeah, we should have inflated those after getting them in the room,” he said, more to himself than to Casey.

“Is here okay?” Casey asked, and Leo looked up.

He’d gotten the tall, thin side of the mattress on the ground, with enough space between it and Leo’s more defined space that there was a decent walkway.

“Stamp of approval!”

Casey lowered the mattress down and put his mask on it. Leo looked at the barren area pensively.

“We should probably decorate, y’know?”

“Huh?”

“You’re living here, yeah? Decorate your space, make it a place you want to be in; you feel me?”

“Uh… Sort of?”

“You’ll get it eventually. We’ll grab and work off the stuff you saved from your other room. Dad’s always got a spare Lou Jitsu poster or action figure here or there.”

Casey frowned like it was a never-before-considered novelty to him. Which, Leo remembered as he half dragged the guy out, it probably was.

Casey’s pile of things, stuffed in a bag marked with his name (which had been crossed out at least three times. Raph was many things, but he was not a good speller) was much smaller than the others, containing a few things blankets, some spare clothes that April had dug up for him a few weeks after the invasion, and some books that Donnie had given him as a “housewarming gift.”

“Take this, and sort out where you want your stuff. You know Lou Jitsu, right?”

“Wasn’t he Master Splinter?”

“More like Dad was him. But yeah. I’m pretty sure Cassandra’s a fan, too. I’ll dig up some old merchandise, and we’ll stick it up, m’kay?”

“‘Merch’?”

Leo gave him a look of shock. “Merch. Memorabilia. Posters and stuff?” No reaction. Leo groaned and rubbed the area where his nose would have been if he had been a human. “When you like a book, TV show, video game, movie, or whatever, you get stuff from that thing. I’ll show you.”

He led Casey back to their room and pointed at his ‘Mad Dogs’ flag and Jupiter Jim figure. “This stuff! That’s merch. Mikey and Donnie made our awesome Mad Dogs flag, and we definitely didn’t scam a guy at JJ Con to let us get JJ figures for cheap!”

“Cool,” Casey breathed and studied them from a distance with interest as Leo perused a spare box.

“C’mon, I swear we head one in here,” he muttered, before pulling something out of it. “Here we go!” He handed two flags to Casey. “Your very own Hamato and Mad Dogs flags!”

He accepted the flags and unfolded them. One was the same flag that Leo had pointed out to him, and the other had a black backdrop with the green Hamato symbol emblazoned on it.

“Woah… Thank you!” Casey exclaimed, and Leo grinned, eyebrows raising at his tone shift.

“Cool, huh? Come on, we’ll hang them up.”

Even after the invasion, Leo wasn’t too sure where Casey fit into their gaggle of weirdos, and he was fairly sure it was a mutual feeling. But dammit if he wouldn’t try to make it work.

It would work out — a bit of Mikey’s undying optimism, his own devil-may-care commentary, Raph’s worrying, Donnie’s weirdly helpful cynicism, and whatever the others had, and there was no way it wouldn’t.

It had only taken a half-meal and what Mikey would have called a ‘bonding moment’ with Casey to get Leo feeling like he could have fought the entire Battle Nexus again, and win.

So, walking alongside the newest addition to their family, as if he had read Leo’s thoughts, (and maybe he had, it wouldn’t have surprised Leo in the slightest) Casey smiled wearily, and determinedly looked at the wall as he held out a fist.

“Well, would you look at that?” Leo smirked. “We’re making progress with you!” He met the gesture, bumping his fist against Casey’s, and blew it into an open palm.

Casey made a soft, exaggerated explosion noise, and Leo could only chuckle.

----

A/N: I finished this not 10 minutes ago... Avid I promise your angst is on its way, I have a Bingo Card to fill up and a handful on generally happy turtles >:>

[m0ths-wanderings]

Some oddly marked turtles bring treats to fellow competitors of the @tmntstorycomp! :D

(I forgot my tablet, traditional art be upon ye!!)

I think they might be excited-

They would like to say thank you.

However, if you have poisoned them, Sr will sue with all her non-existent cash :]

[clanofjones]

POV: You messed with his bros

Actually for a future fic of mine, believe it or not

[marthashlyn3]

amu Fe - S + C = [(💟, ☮️, &☯️) ✝️➿+➰] in 2CO₂ 🎪 + 1 g/cm³ H₂O Genesis 1 • 0 m/s² • 2π.

[iffingly]

brotherly bonding time

[dluebirb]

wELL NOW I HAVE TO MAKE GOOD HUH /pos

good job, squad! I'm giving you all gold stars!!

Now, a reprieve before I go back at it aksjaksjkasdad

I'll post the next fic tonight or tomorrow, and hopefully that promised art will be out by Friday or the weekend!! Love y'all <3

Round One, Part One!

Inverted Confrontation by @boots-with-the-fur-club

Cardinal Rules by @m0ths-wanderings / @dluebirb

[franticold]

After long days when they're both done with everyone's bs I can imagine the brothers going to Primo's garden to smoke and talk shit together.

headcannon that every Emeritous knew Copia was part of tue bloodline except Nihil. Cause come on bro has the eye and everything. Nihil just believed what sister told him.

close ups and info under cut!

oo! also all the plants are actual poisonous plants that grow around the Mediterranean (at least I think they are based of my limited research)

[noctiispiri]

i can't believe they made me do it again

[air-mechanical]

I watched Conclave and yes, what a great film, 9/10

A visual feast. Each scene is clean and sharp and bright and economical. The scenes aren't machine gunned at you - they're allowed to breathe.

No dumbing down. No over the top explanations.

Sister Agnes.

Lawrence 'I absolutely don't want to know anything about anyone so don't investigate, don't gossip, don't tell me anything. Please. Thank you. Sorry for raising my voice.' spending the entire film investigating, conspiring, and sharing juicy unethically obtained information with everyone.

Sister Agnes and Lawrence and the photocopier.

Lawrence elegantly and brutally knocking out the competition without meaning to.

Bellini 'I want to be Pope like I want a hole in the head, but I'll reluctantly listen to my friends and grudgingly take the job only if it stops the bad guy getting it' wanting it so badly it hurts his soul.

Benitez simultaneously being a cool and warm balm. A fresh approach to solving lingering problems. The answer to Bellini's and Lawrence's prayers and doubts.

Little aquatic friends who like to escape.

[shedoesntevengohier]

oh, oh, ok, Vincent whump idea.

Instead of deciding to come to the conclave, Vincent doesn’t. It would be dangerous, to others not just him, and he doesn’t see what good he would be doing there - he’s just one person and this is a voting process needing a two thirds majority, he (as he observes in the novel) doesn’t know any of the candidates, and surely he’s not somehow better at listening to the Holy Spirit than all the other Cardinals. Many of whom have done this before. And he has work to do here, and this is where his work lies.

Unfortunately, unbeknownst to him somebody has found out about his appointment. (…He does say that he’s being watched. And he did receive documents.) And they have a different idea.

Cue Vincent going missing from his post (some of the members of his archdiocese are worried, but it’s not even uncommon for him to run into something that needs to be done and get involved doing it. And the Church has a most important time and situation to be handling right now. And there’s a less clear line of authority than usual. And they’re not exactly a well known or important diocese. And getting attention is not necessarily something they want to do. (And of course they also don’t know that he’s a cardinal). So anyway, they haven’t actually notified anyone in higher positions or that might generally be notified, that something might be wrong.)

And cue Vincent, bloody and beaten, dumped on the metaphorical and possibly literal doorstep of the Vatican, just when all the cardinals are arriving and the conclave is going to begin.

With a more traditional written kind of message, saying, I noticed you’d forgotten one of your cardinals. Gotta be careful to keep track of those, you know. Thought I’d help you out with that :)

(Bloody and beaten and clearly tortured and in a very large amount of pain - and very notably alive, and very notably, and observably once they get a medical examination, in the sort of state that one can recover from, and also the sort of state where it’s obvious to the point of an overt message that it would have been very easy to cause this not to be the case, and possibly harder to have averted it.)

[houppellande]

Who got him smilin' like that 👀

Song

[valyrfia]

I don’t know how many more “keep ao3 and shipping in fandom spaces” I’ve got left in me.

[clanofjones]

GUESS WHAT I DID TODAY YOU GUYS :DD

[marthashlyn3]

[randomfandomss]

wdym the literal pope elected in the pope election movie is not a part of the ensemble as per SAG rules?!!???!