#Common Types of Social Issues

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads

Wren Martin Ruins It All

YA contemporary romcom

student council president proposes to cut the school valentine’s dance because it's expensive and alienating for queer/single people, but instead the vice president (who he adamantly hates for being perfect) suggests they get sponsored by a popular friendship app

he decides to secretly give the app a go to “know his enemy” but ends up making a friend, and starts to catch feelings for him...and maybe realises the guy he hates isn't actually so bad either...

ace mlm MC, aro-questioning side character

I loved this so much! great MC with a funny internal monologue

despite the title most issues or misunderstanding are sorted out pretty quickly rather than drawn out for the drama and plot. which is refreshing

I was a little nervous about the concept of ‘ace hates the school dance and wants it shut down’ - there's a bit of a stereotype of aspecs being boring Fun Haters - but I think it did a really good job of showing the specifics of why, not dragging it out, and also that he’s just a snarky fun hater in general with not much weight behind it.

There’s also no discovering of sexuality or big coming out (just one-on-one) - he already knows he’s ace, and it comes up naturally a bunch, talking about how dances etc can feel isolating, the way the friendship app called buddy being called ace-friendly can feel infantilizing, avoiding dating because of the stress of having to check upfront if people about it, etc.

I would have liked to know more about his relationship with his mum? Though I understand that it’s clearly something he avoids thinking about - going too deep into his relationship with his parents might have changed the tone a lot. but still.

ARC from netgalley thanks netgalley

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent things.. mostly just writing screenshots lol

[unforth]

Revelation: my whole life, when I've responded to sarcasm seriously, people have been like "uh...why you so serious... I was being sarcastic..." and it makes me insane because like... duh? Why am I not allowed to respond to sarcasm seriously? Why does it have to be treated as hOw DiD yOu MiSs ThAt I wAs KiDdInG? Basically: why is it framed as me failing when I absolutely knew it was sarcasm?

Anyway, this just happened with my wife (no shade, it's very rare with her as compared to like, my uncle, and I told her it made me uncomfortable, we're good, it was just the spur to the revelation) and I think I've realized why it happens and why it bothers me so much.

It's always framed as me missing something, but it's not.

I knew they were being sarcastic, and I chose to respond seriously.

THEY failed to interpret MY response.

Or: damn boy (genderneutral) sorry my Yes, And game is just SO FUCKIN SUPERIOR yall should work on recognizing deadpan. Skill issue.

[folkinsomnia]

guess who's back in their compassion fatigue for library patrons era!!!

[astrolook]

🎨💍Appearance & Traits Of Future Spouse In Astrology🌸🌹

Note: These are just my personal observations and recurring patterns I've noticed over the years. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest. Feel free to share in the comments if any of this hits home. This post is based on Vedic astrology.

👀 Future spouse looks according to your 7th house sign

Aries - Their cheeks light up when they smile and that natural blush is everything. A reddish or sun-kissed complexion is common. Might be prone to rashes or sensitive skin. They’re outdoorsy like horseback riding, racing, biking, anything that gets the adrenaline pumping. 🚴‍♂️🏇Killer smile alert😍 Might even have cute freckles sprinkled across their face. Big beach lover too. Sun, sand, and salty air are their happy place.🌞🏖️

Taurus - Your future spouse might be average or short in height 🧍‍♂️, with a naturally attractive look that feels effortless either unusually good-looking or just conventionally beautiful 🌸. If it’s a husband, expect thick, bushy hair and a strong beard 🧔‍♂️; if it’s a wife, she’ll likely have looooong, dark hair 🌑 that gives off major classic beauty vibes. They tend to gain weight easily 🍰, often looking soft, chubby, cuddly, and touchable. If it’s a wife, she’s likely blessed with beautiful curves think nice breasts and a shapely butt 🍑 along with THICC thighs; if it’s a husband, strong broad shoulders and a sturdy chest stand out 💪. Your Taurus spouse will probably be obsessed with skincare and haircare 🧴, always smelling good and looking polished. And don’t be surprised if they’re big lovers of dairy products like cheese, milk, ice cream 🍦🧀 and their fridge is probably always stocked.

Gemini - Your future spouse will have a youthful vibe that’s almost androgynous. You might not be able to tell their age just by looking at them. For a wife, maybe keeps short hair or bangs and for husband keeps a trendy haircut. They talk with their hands constantly ✋👐 and have a way of moving that’s light, quick, and expressive. Physically, they tend to be on the slimmer side, sometimes looking pencil-thin ✏️. Their style changes like the weather 🌦️ one day casual, next day edgy, next day business chic. They have a fast metabolism and are total foodies 🍔🍟. Sarcastic jokes and a killer sense of humor are their signature traits 😂. They’re the type to love hiking, mountain climbing, or even just climbing trees for fun 🧗‍♂️🌳. Vacations twice a year are practically a necessity ✈️🏝️, and honestly, they probably watch p*rn casually too (just saying). Hobbies could include camping, bungee jumping, skydiving, and anything that screams "adventure." They love taking pictures 📸 of wildlife, landscapes, selfies, you name it and social media is basically a second home 🧑‍💻. They also bounce back super quickly from any illness 🛌➡️🏃‍♂️.

Cancer - Your future spouse might have a round, expressive face 🌝 that you’ll find super endearing. If they gain weight, a little double chin could show up extra cute, honestly. Their upper body tends to be stronger than their lower body 💪, with slender arms and legs 🦵, but if they do gain weight, a protruding belly might be noticeable 🍩. For a wife may have mild health issues like medicinal allergies or diabetes 💊, while for a husband, he might deal with blood pressure concerns 🩺. Thick, juicy lips 💋 are common, often with a little mole somewhere around or below the lip. Their eyes are large and full of emotion 👀, and their skin tends to be oily or combination type 🌿. Cancer spouses love calm, cozy hobbies like fishing 🎣 or decorating their homes with flowers 🌸. They might be into "boring" TV shows just to pass the time 📺 (think old reruns or cooking channels). Husbands usually aren't big on workouts as they prefer the couch life 🛋️, or minimal workout sessions while wives tend to be amazing cooks 👩‍🍳, the kind who whip up the best homemade meals.

Leo - Your future spouse’s hair will have wild, untamable energy, literally vibing in the 4th dimension 🌪️. Whether it’s long or short, curly or straight, their hair will somehow stand up and blow in all eight directions when they’re outside 😂. When they’re on the phone 📞, they don’t just talk, they scream. Honestly, you could tell them to skip the call and just shout at the nearest cell tower. The receiver would still hear them loud and clear 📡. They overshare everything like waking up at 3:47 am, going to the restroom for exactly 5 minutes 🚽, falling back asleep at 4:20 am, then waking up again at 7:05 am, all reported with dramatic precision. Their storytelling is basically line-by-line commentary 🎤. When stressed or angry, they might break things (accidentally... or not) 🥴. Despite everything, they’ll want to stay the absolute center of your life 💖 even after kids show up. Lovely, right? 👑

Virgo - Your future spouse might have noticeable under-eye dark circles 💤 either from insomnia or just too much late-night thinking. They have an oval face shape 🥚 and might naturally have a flabby or weaker body, but if they commit to working out, they pull off that strong, young, smirky, slightly quirky little bastard/bitch vibe 😈. Definitely an old soul trapped in a youthful face. They love the dark 🌑 and might be obsessed with reading dark thrillers, mystery stories, mangas, or anything slightly eerie 📚👻. Sitting alone in a dark room doing absolutely nothing for hours? Yeah, that’s their version of "recharging." Might struggle with insomnia 🌙 and there’s a good chance they wear glasses 🤓. If it’s a wife, think "sexy librarian" look 📖; if it’s a husband, the "sexy college professor" vibe is strong too 👨‍🏫. Later in life, they might dream about (or actually) living off-grid 🌾 away from the noisy city and getting into farming, or at least growing their own veggies in a backyard garden 🥕🌻.

Libra - Your future spouse will have a super well-proportioned body like everything just perfectly in place. Their hair is often curly or they love styling it that way 💇‍♀️, adding even more charm to their beautiful face 🌸. Later in life, they might struggle with gaining weight around the lower body 🍑. If it’s a wife, expect a thicc body that turns heads; if it’s a husband, thicc thighs and strong legs are the signature move 🦵🔥 and prefers clean-shaven look. Personality-wise, they tend to keep people at arm’s length 🤝, mostly because they overthink and struggle with making decisions sometimes. Either way, they’re either a heartthrob or a heartbreaker and no in-between 💔💘. Deep down though, all they really want is to sleep 🛌 the kind who can pass out in 5 minutes flat, like some kind of magic trick 🪄. They love gaming 🎮 or getting into long, blunt conversations about politics or random topics and no filters here 🗣️.

Scorpio - Your future spouse could have bushy eyebrows or thick eyelids that instantly catch your eye 👁️. Their gaze is intense, the kind that silently screams "I’m hiding a dark secret" 🌑. After meeting you, a major career shift could happen too like destiny nudging them onto a new path 🔮. If it’s a husband, he might either masterfully control his emotions 🧊 or secretly cry to you at night 🌙. If it’s a wife, she’ll probably be super emotional and break down easily 💧. They love watching birds 🐦 and often want pets around them for comfort 🐕🐾. No matter who earns more, somehow they end up managing the money 💸 (and doing it really well too). They're dreamy types who can get lost in thought, but when disappointment hits, it hits like a storm 🌪️. They hold onto past memories for a long time still grieving over a betrayal or a loved one death from 2020 like it was yesterday 💔. Fashion-wise, they swing either futuristic or full-on old-fashioned styles 🕰️👗. Either too open-minded or conservative in relationships. They’re also big on hustling always plotting a second source of income behind the scenes 🛠️.

Sagittarius - Your future spouse might have a noticeably large forehead 🧠 and either be tall or love wearing heels or chunky shoes just to look taller 👠👟. They’re super open-minded and frank, the kind who’ll never judge you, no matter what 👐. Adventure runs in their blood, so don’t be surprised if they’re into racing, extreme sports, or trying every cuisine under the sun 🍣🏎️. They're often bilingual or even multilingual 🗣️🌍, and after marriage, having more than one home or constantly moving could easily be part of your life 🏡✈️. Could be into military as well, in some cases. They might collect random treasures too like coins, artifacts, vintage stuff 🪙🏺. Spiritually, they swing big: either very religious, spiritual ✝️🧘‍♀️, or, if Jupiter is retrograde, they might be more agnostic or atheist 🙃. Deep down, they live by "my way or the highway" energy 🚗💨. They also forget stuff easily and are experts at misplacing things around the house 😂🔑.

Capricorn - Your future spouse might have a broad forehead 🧠 and if it’s a husband, a receding hairline could start creeping in before 30 😂. They tend to have a mature look, no matter their actual age 🎩. If it’s a wife, she might spot her first grey hair before 30 or have fine/ thin hair 💇‍♀️. They’re usually into cars 🚗, politics 🗳️, and are sarcastic to the bone 🗯️. Husband could have big hands and feet 🖐️🦶, totally noticeable. Addictions are a theme too either coffee ☕ or some other guilty pleasure they just can't give up. Total multitaskers 📈, they manage a huge circle of contacts, and their phone hangs from the sheer number of notifications 🔔📱. When it comes to buying stuff, they live by "the bigger, the better" 💵 but weirdly stingy when it’s not food or clothes 😂. They'll happily invest in a brand-new phone every 1.5 years without fail 📱✨.

Aquarius - Your future spouse might love dyeing their hair 🎨 like blue, pink, red, blonde, anything goes. They've probably gone through at least one surgical procedure before 30 🏥, either for health reasons or cosmetic tweaks. Their mind is pure detective mode 🔎, and when they lie, you literally can't tell if it’s the truth or not 🤷‍♀️. Masters at debates and throwing out facts like mini grenades 💣📚. Some might even elope for marriage 💍✈️ or have a destination wedding somewhere wild. They’re into offbeat stuff like comics, gaming, obscure mangas, or books nobody else has heard of 🎮📖. Always supporting indie artists and filmmakers 🎬🎨. Activism could be in their blood too ✊, standing out from the crowd without even trying. They thrive in night shifts or just get way more alive in the evening 🌙🦉. Open-minded, non-judgy, and smart workers 🧠⚡. They usually have one slightly "off" facial feature like one eye bigger than the other 👁️👁️OR a small nose bump 👃OR a lip mismatch 💋 but weirdly, it makes them unusually attractive, like beautiful but you can’t quite put your finger on why. Totally magnetic 🛸✨.

Pisces - Your future spouse might have super smooth skin that literally glows under the light and large dreamy eyes 🌊👀. They love activities like swimming, hiking, camping off-grid, or fishing, anything that gets them close to water or nature 🏕️🎣. Their moods are intense: if they’re sad, they sulk 🌧️; if they’re happy, they’re floating on cloud nine ☁️💖. They have a tendency to abandon things halfway 🏃‍♂️💨 switching paths when you least expect it. Sleep issues are common here 🌙💤. In early life, they might have struggled with drinking 🍷 or been under medicinal treatments 💊. Spiritually wired 🔮, but even normal conversations can sometimes feel like a personal attack to them 🥲. They get attached easily and letting go is a whole drama 💔. They love bragging about their life with you to friends and family 📢🥰 like you’re the center of their fairy-tale dream 🏡, white picket fence, two kids, the whole fantasy. When life gets heavy, you’ll find them crying under the sheets or in the shower quietly 💧🚿. Super into arts, DIYs, crafts 🎨🛠️ a true homebody until you drag them out, then boom, their wild adventurous side comes alive 🌍🔥.

Part 2 of this post will be about planets in 7th house for more info on spouse appearance and traits!

Wanna go deeper into the layers of your placements? DM me for a complete astrology reading or a 5 year/8 year marriage report or synastry reading🌙💬 and check out my pinned post for pricing + details 💫💸

Let’s decode your cosmic chaos together ⭐

[chow0w]

I’d honestly love to see your take on fashion for all of the tribes! I always love seeing world-building in the fork of fashion!

Thank you so much!! I'm trying to branch out and tie fashion in with lore/culture - I genuinely lost the plot with this one but you have to walk with me like WALK with me right now. come here.

Scarlet and the Skywings: A discussion on fashion, politics and culture

About this image: Queen Scarlet crawls out of her own self-portrait, looking down at Tourmaline and the Skywings in fury. She does not notice the Guillotine above her or the fire below her, focused only on her daughter who looks up in defiance. The words 'Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité' are repeated in the background, and Tourmaline's wings are drawn to look like rays of sun.

Setting the scene - Skywings and the French

I won't pretend to know the Skywing kingdom inside out, but tailwind's section in guide to the tribes gives good insight to the kingdom's situation during Scarlet/Firestorm's reign. the extract suggests that the Skywing kingdom was an economically thriving center for the arts, as well as a kingdom which followed some semblance of an aristocracy with noble families and an upper/lower class divide - similar to the situation of pre-revolution France.

We must also consider the scope of how bad things actually were before/during Queen Scarlet's reign. Social class is never directly mentioned in canon, but it could easily be reasoned (from her + Queen Firestorm's behavior) that Scarlet's rule created tons of problems for the kingdom's commoner. between fighting 20 years of sandwing succession war, uprooting major cultural practices and dumping heinous amounts of money into self-portraits, it's safe to say Scarlet and her mother were probably the two worst things that could ever happen to the average working Skywing. Like this is the Queen who threw Osprey (A public figure old enough to be long loved) into a ravine for... teaching Peril the law.

Starved of kingdom funding, ripped from their culture and sent off to die in a sandwing war, I really feel that the Skywings deserved to crash out French style on their high society.

(That's not to say that I dislike the canon plot of the kingdom: in fact, I think it's good - it completes its duty as a plot device and still manages to make sense and be cool. If I was Tui, I would absolutely call it a day there. Lucky for me, I'm a tumblr artist and not a bestselling author. I get to write about violent revolutions.)

The revised timeline

Given the context on why I think the Skywings needed a good revolution, here's how I personally would've structured the timeline after Scarlet's rule, including the events of Escaping Peril. If you haven't read that book, I suggest skipping down to the next image.

Scarlet comes into power. Bad things happen to everyone. Skywings are pissed for 20 years, but between the war, economic issue and the fire demon (Peril) nobody really has the energy to revolt. They stay quietly angry, and (perhaps) form something similar to the chrysalis.

One day, the dragonets of destiny arrive - something happens in the arena and the tyrant is gone. The kingdom sits in aftershock for a moment, before springing into gleeful celebration. The real bloodbath is never for Scarlet - presumed to be dead or missing, they turn to the Skywing nobles who supported her instead. The WoF wiki states Skywings enjoy entertainment and fighting alike, so I like to think their last gritty celebration of freedom was making the (oppressive) aristocracy their last arena victims. Dragons like Tailwind (born into nobility but low-lying or unsupportive) were probably spared.

Queen Ruby is elected to be the new skywing ruler by default - some Skywings may feel hesitant or reluctant to have Scarlet's daughter in power, but tradition + scares of another sandwing-type war keep them from kicking her out. She does a great job, so it doesn't matter anyways and they love her.

Scarlet comes back in Escaping Peril, and for a brief moment the kingdom is turned upside down. Stories spread like wildfire, and the Skywing population are ignited with a new sense of rage at their old Queen's return. At this point, I don't even think Peril's presence would be able to stop riots and uprise on the streets.

Ruby challenges Scarlet and the canon ending happens, or Peril (somehow) realizes Ruby is Tourmaline another way and the fight can be avoided altogether. Instead, the nature of Tourmaline's erasure (using animus magic, changing her identity) is so offensively un-Skywing that the population snaps and jump Scarlet together, right then and there. She dies like Scar from the lion king.

Back to the fashion - high society

Plot lost, plot recovered. I will talk about fashion now - starting with that of the aristocracy (specifically during Scarlet and Firestorm's reign.)

Extravagant garments crown the nature of upper-class fashion: big bows, long dresses, feathered headpieces and fur wigs are what make you well-dressed here. Curiously, upper-class Skywing attire is not very Skywing at all: imports are in, tradition is out! The dragons of the aristocracy order pearls from the sea, pelts from the north and the finest tailors to put it together. As the sandwing succession war starts, trade deals are interrupted and these garments become rarer: more valuable.

Function and Logistics

These garments are generally viewed as unisex, with the urge to be best dressed outcompeting the urge to have gendered clothing within society. Most of them have intricate mechanical makeup, which is a landmark to the Skywings and their long history of design. Copper wires braided together are bent to form skirt cages, and headdresses are fashioned in place using a complicated network of leather bands and iron clips. Putting these outfits on would undoubtedly require a team of assistants: maids clip the headdress in place while tailors edit the radius of the skirt cage, fixing it in place with a small plume of flame. The final result is a splendorous, inconvenient piece of clothing meant to show your wealth and absolutely nothing else. I imagine that flying is near impossible with these garments (or - one can fly, at the expense of their gown) so most dressing and undressing is done within palace walls.

Queen Scarlet and her mother, obsessed with beauty, would likely uphold these garments as a uniform standard within balls and celebrations. Skywings were expected to look as best as they could, with absolutely no exceptions and a very deadly consequence for disobedience. Fashion is always, in some aspect, political; seeing this type of needless extravagance as a working-class Skywing would've undoubtedly sparked anger, and I'm sure the French revolutionaries would agree.

Clothing for the Skywings: past and present

As it tends to, the fashion of the elites will bleed into the world around it - and with the removal of their culture and tradition, the Skywings of the kingdom would most likely follow suit in how they dressed themselves - abandoning traditional garb in fear of Queen Scarlet, and adopting new fashion trends.

These trends would include simplified, practical versions of High-class clothing: petticoats and puff sleeves replace pearl necklaces, fitting in with societal expectations while still being functional. These coats could be used to store day-to-day necessities like gold coins, trinkets or herbal medicines, with the sleeves made from thinly stretched fabric. Some Skywings may choose to embroider their coats and shirts, or even wear a hat - a slightly impractical item which could be used to flaunt one's financial security. While this fashion is nice, I'm sure lots of Skywings would be old enough to remember their traditional wear: some may even have it in their home, tucked away in the attic with other relics of home.

I imagine these garments were much more fluid in shape: made to be beautiful and flyable, they consisted of long fabrics trailing down from the base of one's neck, made from local materials found on the mountain - feathers, wool, flower dyes etc. The clothes themselves were beautifully detailed through pattern, not shape: beads, embroidery and stitching could be used to create a high-class garment, which would be used during weddings or balls. Some hats may have also been present, although these would still be largely difficult to fly with. These clothes probably returned as the Skywing kingdom began to heal, alongside the old traditions buried under tyranny.

When sketching these garments, I looked to traditional Kazakh clothing for inspiration, as both cultures share their mountainous location and use of local material. I understand that Kazakh and French clothing are different fashions from wildly different cultures, and the only reason this really works is because I'm writing in the context of fictional dragon world and not real human world. I considered keeping the fashion solely French, but honestly they're both so beautiful I had to include Kazakh clothing too!

Choosing which cultures to investigate is always the hardest part about making these posts, and so I'm trying to incorporate a lot of diversity as I plan - and maybe even explore one tribe in the lens of multiple cultures.

If you made it all the way down here, thank you so much for reading along! Writing about lore and culture is SO fun, and I really appreciate all of you who've inquired about fashion/culture within the other tribes! These posts take a little bit longer to make, so I'm aiming for one a week but we'll see. To anyone interested, my art contest is still going until the end of June! If you're a regular on this blog you will have heard this too often and want to jump me, but please have mercy.

You can find more info and enter here, in my discord server!

later ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ

[dancing-with-maenads]

Unpopular HelPol opinions

Disclaimer: my wording is blunt and harsh in this, if that's something that makes you uncomfortable, proceed with caution!!

I could give less of a shit about people referring to gods as "Lord" and "lady". Yeah it isn't traditional, but we live in 2025, a lot is different in terms of how people choose to show their respect. An extra layer of respect never hurt anybody, and with good intentions it's literally such a non issue

The offerings of OTHER PRACTICIONERS shouldn't matter at all to YOU. if it does, you're probably insecure. If you genuinely give a shit and try to police what other people offer, instead of just letting them accept consequences if they offer something the gods don't like, you're a weirdo. The exception to this is if someone is going to offer something like blood, and you warn them. That's in good faith. Telling people that their offerings are WRONG will only push them farther away. Let people make mistakes and learn. 

While Apollo and Hyacinthus technically do have the same type of relationship as Zeus and Ganymede, it's perfectly okay if people have a hard time separating Zeus and Ganymede from a less savory version of the myth. It's the same thing that happened to Persephone, so I see no reason why we can't view it the same with Zeus and Ganymede, with respect and reverence, but an inherent vibe of tragedy. That isn't for everyone, and everyone has a different view of the gods, but some people relate to Ganymede because they've been victimized, and that's perfectly okay. 

Priesthood, godspousal, etc, is not anyone's business but the practicioner. So many of you are really weird, why do you care? 

I believe Zagreus is an epithet of Dionysus, and I believe Melionë is an epithet of Hekate. It's very valid to view both as separate, I just personally do not!!

I will always use the English names for the gods on social media. It's much more screen reader friendly, where as using the Greek names makes it much less accessible to a disabled audience as the reader trips over it. The only benefit is that it makes you sound more well read and slightly more respectful. You can do what you want, but I'll use the more common versions of the names so that they can be easily recognized by anyone using a screen reader. 

While Apollo was never ORIGINALLY considered a god of the sun, years and years of him being associated with the sun is culturally significant enough that ignoring it isn't accuracy, it's ignorance. You don't have to include every aspect of every god in your practice, especially one you don't vibe with, but other people can absolutely view the gods however they please. Disagreement about this didn't be something that genuinely divides people, it's immature. 

I don't think there's anything wrong with worshipping the primordials. I've seen people claim that for one, you only worship the gods to get something out of it, and that there's nothing to get out of the primordials. For one, I think that's ridiculous and offensive to think that people only worship the gods to get something out of it. For another, I think building a relationship with the primordials is actually incredibly important!! Forces like sleep, the night, the sun, death, they all have impact on our lives in big ways.

If you have an Olympian that you don't want to interact with for whatever reason, but you interact with the rest of the pantheon (that part is important) maybe it's just not the right religion for you. If there's a god that's so important as to be an Olympian and you refuse to include them in your practice, it's uneducated and disrespectful. 

The gods DO care about you. Kharis is still very important, but I've been seeing growing sentiment that the gods don't care about their worshippers, even with kharis. Why are you even following a religion if you think your gods don't care about you? 

Just because a god had no cult practices in antiquity (that we know of) doesn't mean that you can't still worship them and build a relationship with them. 

The people on this app who are the most vocally anti priesthood are friends with priests. If you can only justify your beliefs when it's people you like, maybe what you actually have is a bias.

UPG is not as important as knowing the fundamentals of the religion, but I genuinely believe that if you have no UPGs at all, you have no relationship with the gods.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Reference: Grief

“Grief is the emotional reaction to a loss, in this case, to death” (Samuel, 2019, p. xvii), and mourning is the process of adjustment to a world without that person.

The following physical sensations and perceptual experiences often accompany the grieving process (modified from Worden, 2009):

Hollowness in the stomach

Tightness in the throat and chest

Being oversensitive to noise

Feelings of unreality

Shortness of breath

Muscle weakness and lack of energy

Dry mouth

Strong emotions typically occur during grief, including (from Worden, 2009):

Sadness. Failure to acknowledge and embrace sadness can cause more complicated and prolonged grief.

Anger. A common reaction to loss that leads to many issues during the grieving process.

Guilt and self-reproach. Often regarding something that happened or was neglected at the time of death.

Anxiety. Ranging from feelings of insecurity to panic attacks, sometimes associated with fears of being unable to take care of yourself in the absence of the other person.

Loneliness. The loss of a day-to-day relationship can leave someone feeling all alone. Social support can help but does not remove the sense of a broken attachment.

Fatigue. Feelings of apathy and listlessness are not uncommon following the death of a loved one and may limit behavior and activity.

Helplessness. Survivors can be left feeling vulnerable and helpless, especially when they have young children to look after.

Shock. Sudden death, by its very nature, can cause the survivor to experience shock.

Yearning. Yearning or pining for the loved one is a typical reaction to death, and as it reduces, may indicate the mourning process is coming to an end.

Emancipation and relief. It is not uncommon for a survivor to experience a sense of relief, especially where the deceased was oppressive or was suffering a prolonged illness. While a normal response, it may be accompanied by feelings of guilt.

Numbness. While the previous feelings are common, so too is an absence of emotions, at least initially. With so many feelings to experience and manage, the early stages of grief may be overwhelming and result in a protective numbness.

It is important to note that each person’s experience of grief is different, and while the emotions above are typical of loss, they are not exhaustive.

Types of grief can take various forms, including (Elizz by SE Health, 2019; CaringInfo, n.d.; WebMD, n.d.):

Abbreviated grief. A short-lived response to a death, possibly following the experience of prolonged anticipatory grief or something immediately filling the space left by the loss.

Absent grief. The bereaved may not acknowledge or may remain in denial of what has happened. If prolonged, the lack of response can be concerning and require specialist support.

Anticipatory grief. For a caregiver, grief can begin before the person being cared for dies. It may be associated with a sense of losing what they expected life to be like. Such feelings can start with a terminal diagnosis or a worsening state of health.

Chronic grief. A sub-type of complicated grief (see below), left untreated, chronic grief can involve extreme feelings of hopelessness, a sense of disbelief, and a loss of meaning, leading to severe clinical depression or thoughts of self-harm and even suicide.

Collective grief. A shared experience of grief that affects a family, group, or community, often preceded by an event (natural disaster or attack).

Complicated grief. Where grief seems to deviate from what’s expected, complicated grief interferes with the ability to function. Complicated grief may include chronic (see above), delayed, or absent grief (American Psychological Association, n.d.).

Cumulative grief. Multiple deaths over a period of time can leave the bereaved without the opportunity or capacity to process each loss.

Delayed grief. Grief may not occur immediately after losing a loved one but may be postponed until another significant event occurs, resulting in what may seem an excessive response to the present situation.

Distorted grief. An extreme form of complicated grief exhibited as self-destructive behavior, anger, guilt, or hostility toward others.

Disenfranchised grief. When others do not recognize the importance of the loss, such as the death of an ex-partner, pet, or colleague. Society may consider the loss as minor or not legitimate.

Inhibited grief. Grief may not always be outwardly visible; it may result from a conscious effort to maintain privacy or keep emotions hidden from close friends or family.

Masked grief. Atypical physical symptoms and behaviors can be a response to grief without being attributed to the loss.

Normal grief. While there may not be a ‘typical’ grief shared by everyone, normal grief is considered to be when emotional intensity surrounding the death gradually decreases or basic daily activities begin to return to normal.

“We need to learn to support a healthy grieving, and to help people to understand that each person goes at their own pace” (Samuel, 2019, p. XX).

The treatment given to those attempting to process grief must be specific to the individual and their experience. The following approaches overlap and complement one another in supporting the bereaved (modified from Worden, 2009).

Helping the survivor actualize loss

When and where did the death occur?

What happened?

How were you told and where were you?

Visiting the grave can also make the loss more concrete.

Helping the survivor identify and experience feelings

Many feelings may not be recognized or felt to their full degree during intense grief. It is essential to help survivors experience the following:

Anger – arising from feelings of frustration and helplessness.

Guilt – for what the bereaved did and did not do to affect the outcome (usually irrational).

Anxiety and helplessness – feelings of helplessness can leave the bereaved unsure if they can survive alone and concerned about their own mortality.

Sadness – it can be challenging for many to show their upset in front of others. Crying can be helpful if associated with an awareness of what was lost.

Assisting living without the deceased

What problems are you facing, and how can they be resolved?

It is important to neither rush the bereaved to make decisions nor encourage a sense of helplessness, but instead communicate that they will be able to make decisions when they are ready.

Helping find meaning in the loss

Why did this happen?

Why did this happen to me?

How has this loss changed me?

Allowing for individual differences

No two people grieve in the same way; the process and feelings associated with loss are unique. There is tremendous variability in the following:

Intensity of affective reactions

Degree of impairment

Length of time it is experienced

Source ⚜ Bereavement ⚜ Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[1stposition]

Ngl can y’all pack up this “stud who couldn’t pick up her gf” trend on tik tok cuz it’s seriously lame as fuck. I know y’all r tryna be funny and I can usually take a joke but I failed to see what’s funny..

Y’all continuously expose yourselves as weirdos because why am I seeing comments full of 101 repackaged homophobia and misogyny???!!! Wrap it up.

All it takes is ONE stud to go viral on the internet for yall to start comparing studs to men, dogpiling them, invalidating their identities, spreading anti-black, misogynistic, and homophobic rhetoric, and start reinforcing toxic ideas of masculinity AND IM SICK OF ITTTTTT.

Bc why the fuck r yall comparing her to jojo siwa?? is yall fuckin for real?????? A lot of yall needa reflect on why y’all hold masculine women to the same standards as cis men QUICKLY

EVERY DAY yall get online bashing stud/butch lesbians and giving hetero mfs the green light to target and shit on them and it fucking infuriates me. It shows that yall view them as a performance, not individuals that have broadly unique relationships with masculinity. Y’all shove your heteronormative standards of masculinity onto studs and put them in a box as if they exist for your amusement.

Leave that woman alone bc it’s seriously getting annoying that we have to keep telling yall to RESPECT MASC LESBIANS. Quit degrading her because YOU’RE insecure about your masculinity and feel the need to belittle someone to feel better about yourself. It’s sad loser behavior. I hope she’s not reading yall hateful ass comments and feeling bad about herself. Y’all know that the shit yall post online can hurt people and it’s fucked up y’all don’t care.

Also idgaf about the “it’s because she got stood up by a man” SOOOO????? What does that have to do with yall projecting your insecurities onto someone else?????? Why do yall hold masc lesbians to this standard of being better than men at everything????? That’s an internal issue, deal w it and stop making it everyone else’s problem.

And to the fems that r hating, I’m disappointed yet again but not surprised bc for whatever reason so many of yall feel the need to make it known u view masc lesbians as inferior to the rest of the community and I will never understand it. Y’all r too dumb to realize how stupid u sound when u say shit like “they sleeping on us fems” bc whooooooo???? Why r yall always competing w studs????? It’s mad weird

Boooo tomatoes tomatoes throwing tomatoes 🍅 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾

And to the mfs that r commenting “she needs to start lifting” “she’s supposed to be strong” ACCORDING TO WHOOOOO???????? LMFAO TF. WHO R UUU????? You’re a fucking nobody talking shit online. Your opinion is irrelevant and holds no value, shut up. Deadass.

Did y’all forget about the existence of disabled studs/butches while typing this nonsense??? It sure sounds like it. It’s ableist as fuck to say that physical strength is the determining factor of masculinity, cuz BULLSHIT. It’s NOT. Someone being unable to lift as much as the average man does NOT discredit their masculinity r u serious??? How someone defines THEIR masculinity is personal and not for u to validate!!

OH!!! -And fuck social expectations!!! NEWFLASH: NOBODY HAS TO CONFORM TO ANY EXPECTATIONS SOCIETY FORCES UPON THEM!!! Where tf did the “responsibilities for relationships” part even come from???? A woman (or man) can provide protection and safety for their partner in various ways, not just physical.. but to even assume that someone is incapable of being a protector because they’re not physically strong is FALSE!!! Log off!!! This is textbook ableism and ignorance at its finest

I swear if y’all just picked up a book or read an article on the complexity of stud/butch lesbians we wouldn’t need to constantly address this shit. Y’all wouldn’t call butchfemme dynamics heteronormative. Honestly, if yall just started using common fucking sense and minding your business that would solve majority of the problem. It doesn’t take a genius to tell u that masculinity is a made up concept and that it can be anything u want it to be, not just the shitty patriarchal version y’all push onto people.

I also wanna clarify I’m aware that the girl who posted the original video stated that the stud is NOT her gf and that she wishes yall would stop bashing her and gtfo out her comment section (rightfully so). I just wanted to speak out about this video that’s been circling around recently bc I’m sick of y’all disrespecting stud/butch lesbians

And real quick since the straight men think they’re hot shit for shitting on masc women and lesbians - especially shut the fuck up. Ty.

To all the studs and butches (disabled included) reading this, I want u to always remember how important your existence is to this world. I look up to u with so much admiration and gratitude. I’m happy I get to experience living on the same planet with such amazing, beautiful souls like yours. Fuck what anyone else says, stay true to yourself and continue inspiring all the baby gays and butches out there. There’s a community that cherishes u and has your back forever. I love u x 💋

[ohnoitstbskyen]

I am a long-time fan of you and I know you care a lot about social issues. When I saw your analysis on the HH designs, I feel you missed two major aspects of Alastor's design that are suspect. One, the 'deer' aspect of Alastor is a reference to a Native American Cannibal spirit which name is taboo and so I won't type it here. Though the creature itself isn't associated with deer, the common depiction of them is a cannibalistic deer-monster. Second, the 'magic symbols' Alastor uses are straight up Voodoo/Vodoun symbols. Not used in the right context or with an actual voudoun priest/priestess serving as a sensitivity reader. I bring these up, because I feel your analysis lacked a lot of context. If you answer this, thank you in advance.

Ah, you might be able to help me on this, I've heard before that the creature in question is taboo to mention or depict, but I've looked around multiple times for a source on the taboo. Which indigenous cultures is it that have the taboo on the creature? It's part of multiple nations' folklore, do they all collectively have the same taboo on the creature, or do they have differing stances on it?

I have seen this claim of taboo repeated across the internet, it's on various poorly-sourced mythology blogs and it gets repeated by TikTokers and in social media discussions, but I haven't been able to find any official sources from Algonquian-speaking indigenous nations, whose cultures originate the stories, asking that outsiders not discuss or represent the creature.

I've been able to find anecdotes shared by people that their elders have told them not to say the creature's name at certain times or in certain circumstances, because it supposedly draws the creature (or the evil it represents) closer, but I've not been able to find any strong indications that that taboo extends to non-members of the culture, or people speaking outside of the nation's lands, or on the Internet.

I saw a few people who identified as Ojibwe make fun of the idea that the word needs to be censored in text especially, with one of them calling it "colonizer nonsense." According to them, the rule they grew up with is not to speak the creature's name out loud in certain circumstances, and they claimed that it was considered significantly more taboo (at least in their communities) to whistle at night, since that would call the creature. Again, this is all anecdotal, but better sources seem scarce on the ground.

Do you have a link or a source, or some knowledge of which nations or organizations are calling for the taboo to be respected by non-indigenous people? The main reason I did not bring up this subject is because I simply cannot find any good sources on which to base a criticism. I don't want to spread the idea that First Nations people are calling for a taboo on depictions or mentions of a creature from their culture unless I can positively confirm that they are actually doing that.

Similarly, if you have a solid source from an authoritative Vodoun practitioner criticizing Alastor's design, I'd love to read it, it might come in handy someday. Not asking you to do my research for me, obviously, just that if you have one to hand or off the top of your head, you'd be doing me a favor.

As I say in the video itself, it was meant to be a fairly short project, and I did not have a lot of research time available. If I'm going to broach a critique on Alastor's design as it relates to Vodoun practises and culture, I need to study some primary sources from those cultures outlining what they consider to be best practises and faux-pas when it comes to depiction and use in pop culture. It's maybe a subject for a future video some day, but not until I've done the reading, and I would probably make it a much broader discussion than just Alastor and Hazbin Hotel.

[aropride]

i like[1] this website because a joke post u made in 3 seconds[2] vaguely complaining about something that does not matter[3] will get 15k notes in a matter of days and then people will misinterpret it in wild & unpredictable & cynical ways possible. Like before responding in a hostile manner to a post maybe stop[4] and go "is it possible that op did not set out to make a post commenting in a serious manner about a serious problem"[5] "is it possible that op did not sit down before posting to ensure that there is no possible way their[6] post could be read in a bad light"[7] "am i picking up on an implication that is actually there or are my own life experiences informing my view of this post in a way that may not be accurate"[8] etc. like would it kill[9] people to be a little less quick to lash out when it is fully possible they may be misunderstanding something[10]

---

[1] this is sarcasm, i do not like when people do this.

[2] this is an exaggeration, it often takes more than three seconds to type a post.

[3] sometimes a post may be complaining about something that Does matter. this post is not claiming that most or all posts are about something that does not matter. likewise, the idea that something "doesn't matter" has been used to downplay the struggles of marginalized communities, and some things online do, in fact, matter. this post, however, is about shit that does not matter

[4] OP is not insisting you do this. there is no manipulation, coercion, or violation of consent; you are not forced to do anything you don't want to to. you are not being silenced or censored.

[5] the original poster may have meant to make a silly post about a serious issue, or a silly post about a silly issue. oftentimes, posts are not meant to be all-encompassing thesis statements on broad social issues addressing all the possible pitfalls of a certain argument as well as what lends credence to it

[6] the use of the neutral pronoun "they" in this sentence is due to its reference to a hypothetical person or group of people rather than any specific individual who may or may not use they/them pronouns. it is not an attempt to actively misgender or degender anybody. for further clarity, OP is fully supportive of trans and nonbinary people and is in fact a member of the trans community

[7] while OP has ocd, it seems an unnecessary addition to this post, but he has noticed a trend of general anxiety-related behaviors being attributed to ocd when that is not necessarily the cause of such behaviors. he therefore finds it worth saying that people without ocd who have been on tumblr for a long time are also prone to this behavior, as being misinterpreted is incredibly common online, and does not necessarily indicate the presence of obsessive-compulsive disorder. i.e., sometimes people just worry about stuff

[8] accurate meaning, here, accurate to the intent of the original poster. it is not meant to state that a person's emotions about a post are "wrong" or that they are misinterpreting their own feelings. additionally, it is reasonable that a person's experiences would influence their view of the world; it is equally reasonable to expect them to think before being aggressive towards strangers online

[9] this is a turn of phrase, not meant to state that any lives will actually be ended by this action. this footnote is also not meant to imply anything negative about those who experience anxiety around the concept of death

[10] OP is relinquishing himself from the responsibility[11] of this post[12]. if it gains sentience and runs off to colorado to rob a bank and go on a killing spree that is not his fault

[11] whether or not a person can truly be relinquished from the consequences of any of their actions is a matter of debate irrelevant to this post

[12] OP is aware that this post opens him up to receiving many identical and increasingly unfunny comments intentionally misconstruing his words or intentions. he is nicely asking you not to do that because it's very exhausting

[olderthannetfic]

Hi OTNF and everyone,

I am finding that it's harder and harder and harder to get into anything - book, show, movie... most things seem, you know, to just not be doing it for me, be it fanfic or original stuff.

In part, I think, it's a general restlessness and that it's become harder to give anything enough time to get into the stories, the characters, the settings, the narrative voices... I guess you can call it attention deficit on my part, just a need for stories to deliver those sweet, sweet hits quickly, but they're not.

I'm not currently ficcing but I did for years (might again in the future, who knows), and it's made reading, specifically, harder. It's like I've become more aware of what goes on behind the scene, I guess? I feel like I can see the writer giving up on a sentence, skipping a scene because fuck this, trying hard to not repeat a word although it's the only one that fits, etc.

Or maybe it's just the *everything* around us in the world that is weighing on me too much? I could say it's adult life, but then again I have more free time than most (and boy do I need hours of doing nothing to survive the other hours), and no family/partner (all that would put even more pressure on me): what is wrong, to make everything so UGHHH?

I feel like I'm stuck in a rut with a brain moaning feed me, feeeed me, and whatever I try to give it, it spits everything out. (Yes, I've tried hobbies, and nothing sticks there either. I've never really found rewards or satisfaction there, so...)

Decades ago as a kid, I was a voracious reader, although studying literature took the pleasure of it away from me. It took time and discovering fanfic that brought me back to reading, but at the time the internet was starting to be a thing, too, and it can't have helped the attention thing. AFAIK I'm not ADHD but then again, I couldn't get a proper diagnosis (the therapists I saw were either dismissive or just about The Talking, which was pointless for me).

I just wonder how it all disappeared, you know? Sometimes I find something that catches my attention for a while - a book (but I read quite quickly when motivated), a fandom... but it's been a while now, and it's just so frustrating! When is it going to come back? Will it ever? *gulp*

I know that books were escapism when I was a child, and then fandom was escapism, but at the moment I find myself grabbing at air and my empty hands are mocking me. Give me my escapism baaaaack!

So, uh. Anyone here with me?

--

Yes.

I felt like that during part of lockdown. Anhedonia is common in those kinds of circumstances.

Getting your mojo back is certainly possible, but you may need to go see a professional about depression and have some chemical assistance (yes, even if you don't feel sad per se), or you may need to change your lifestyle to one that doesn't have the thing causing you to need eleventy billion hours of downtime.

Aside from serious interventions like that, you can consider a social media detox. Remove every source of doomscrolling and time wasting of that type. When the attention span is zero and nothing brings joy, the tiny and useless hits from finishing a game of solitaire or seeing one more instagram post become very attractive. This is a trap. It will suck what little energy and joy you have and make your muscles flabby for the work of getting into an in-depth book/hobby/experience.

I know the feeling of being able to see how the sausage is made, but... well... first, being in a better mental state will make that matter less, and second, reading prose that is more competent will make that less of an issue. A lot of mainstream tradpub genre fiction is not, in my opinion, very well written these days. Obviously, people are still enjoying it, and that's fine, but if you're noticing writers fumbling around, it might be time to check out some literary fiction or some other category known more for prose quality than anything else.

It's also important to have some structure and some things to look forward to. Even if you feel tired, overwhelmed, and busy, sometimes, the answer is to do more... But it must be things that are distinct and significant and that get you off of the couch, like going to one museum every weekend.

I saw some advice once about this kind of thing that phrased it as "One big adventure; one small adventure."

Every week, you should have those two things to look forward to that matter. Check out a new coffee shop. That could be the small one. Go to an event: a gallery opening, a concert, whatever.

Physical exercise and doing some things that aren't as verbal and conscious thought-involving is important too. Painting is a better hobby for zoning out than writing is. Taking long walks in nature is good for most people.

--

The kind of intense, obsessive love I had for reading as a child and that I sometimes have for fandom requires a lot of attention and some time. It's escapist, but that masks how much work it actually was. It didn't feel like work only because we were in training.

If you've filled your brain and your day up with a thousand petty annoyances or minor and useless attempts to feel something, you won't have the capacity for those deeper things.

Because you are already at a point that's equivalent to a bad sprained ankle, trying to get back to running right now won't work. You have to stay off of the ankle for a bit, then build your strength and stamina back up.

[kedreeva]

I didn't know peafowl also have incomplete dominant genes! I mainly know ball python genetics. Question, are there any incomplete dominant genes that are fine/mostly fine in het but cause health issues for the super/homo form? I can think of quite a few like that in ball pythons and a few dangerous genes in other common captive snakes.

The only incomplete dominants we have are white and white eye, where white is the total leucism gene and white eye is... either a form of pale leucism, or more likely a white spotting gene, we don't really know. The actual genome has not been mapped where the public can access it, and the mutations haven't been scientifically identified, so the genetics for them largely goes off of knowledge of genetics in general in combination with practical knowledge of what we see and how it travels and shows in the phenotype.

White shows white flights/throat latch in het form (most of the time, but it CAN be carried completely silently). White eye CAN turn some eye markings white (in the train's eye feathers), and some forms of it also cause "frosting" on the feathers where the color is diluted like it is in cases of pale leucism, where the bird looks like a window with a layer of frost covering it.

Pied is the only supposed dominant, where one copy and two copies looks the same in the phenotype, and (USUALLY) looks different from the wild type buuuuuuut it can also be carried completely silently, even in homozygous form. What people think of as a "pied" bird (by phenotype) is genetically a white/pied het (white and pied are alleles, the pied phenotype results from a bird that has one white and one pied gene).

Neither white nor white eye (nor pied) appear to have any deleterious health effects on the birds, aside from the fact that white feathers break down faster in the sun than dark feathers, so birds with more white tend to look rattier faster. Socially, white birds are sometimes rejected by colored birds, to the point where some hens have been noted to refuse mating from a white male if they can see other, colored males (even if they cannot reach the other males).

There ARE a few mutations associated with health problems. The only one that matches what you are asking about would be charcoal- where het hens can lay eggs, but homo hens do not, and for both sexes het birds do not seem to experience the same feather quality or shortened lifespan issues as homozygous birds.

The other deleterious mutations are "progressive pied" aka vitiligo (which isn't a morph, just an autoimmune issue that shows in the phenotype) which presents with autoimmune issues, and cameo which is OFTEN found with vision problems (which may or may not be directly linked with cameo, but cameo originally presented with birds that went blind a few years after maturity, and this problem was NOT weeded out properly before distribution, so cameos face a LOT higher instance of blindness than any other mutation). Fawn, in Australia, has been noted to face some of the same health complications cameo originally had (and may be or be an allele to cameo, given the similarity in phenotype), which if the mutations end up being the same or alleles may point to it being a problem, but that has yet to be proven or disproven.

There is a new, unnamed mutation in Denmark that causes weak feathers to the point the entire train "wilts" and makes the bird look like it is sopping wet, and it's unknown if the breeder will decide to perpetuate this monstrosity or not, and I don't know if heterozygous birds share that particular complication. Many are hoping the breeder doesn't breed more, but there's nothing anyone can do if he decides to go forward with it, outside of just avoid the mutation. Avoidance of mutations CAN cause a mutation to die out, as it did with Steel in Australia, but it's hard to get the "every mutation is precious and must be preserved" people on board with "some things are better left dead if it's not good for the animal."

[anistarrose]

If you were an a-spec exclusionist (or even "neutral") in the 2010s on Tumblr, if you remember laughing at "cringe aces," and have since come around to realize "hey that was kinda shitty, obviously aces and aros are queer," then you've obviously taken a huge step forward. But if you haven't actually evaluated what subtler forms of aphobia look like, and unlearned those too, then you absolutely need to do that, or else internalized biases will persist in this community that make a-specs feel unsafe.

The most rampant and insidious type of aphobia on Tumblr in the past few years hasn't been about explicitly saying you hate/want to exclude asexuals. Aphobes themselves say they've moved on from "discourse blogs," now preferring to make superficially "normal" posts with subtle aphobic dogwhistles, and people who don't consider themselves "exclusionists" still pass those dogwhistle posts around! And sometimes, "subtle" is giving the aphobes way too much credit, because a-spec terminology and microlabels are still constantly mocked, and used as punchlines.

Below, I've linked a variety of posts about what aphobia looks like, what commonly misunderstood/mocked a-spec terminology really means, and how a-spec people differ from common stereotypes and misconceptions. I don't expect everyone to read every one of these posts. There are some long ones. But I know Tumblr would be a significantly less hostile experience for a-spec people if everyone unlearning aphobia looked at, and reflected critically about, at least a few.

Subtle Aphobia; A-Specs and Sex Positivity

[Plain text: "Subtle Aphobia, Aces and Sex Positivity."]

Sex Repulsion Vs. Sex Negativity - Know the Difference

“Anti-Sex” and the Real Sexual Politics of the Right (Spoiler alert: religious purity culture is not "anti-sex." Rather, it's actually opposed to sexual autonomy.)

Acephobia and Ableism, Queer Social Spaces "Discourse"

Common Modern Aphobia, Critical Thinking Questions About "Cringe" Ace Posts on the Dashboard

"Virgin" as an insult just perpetuates sex negativity

Tumblr polls as harassment bait

Hey, What Do Those Terms We Mocked Actually Mean?

[PT: "Hey, What Do Those Terms We Mocked Actually Mean?"]

Origin, Use, and Etymology of "Allosexual"

Why "Queerplatonic" Doesn't Have a Set Definition, and Why That Matters (from the actual people who coined it!)

"Queerplatonic is to relationships what nonbinary is to gender"

"Amatonormativity" as Defined by Dr. Elizabeth Brake

Amatonormativity Affects More Than Just Aces and Aros

On mocking people's labels — "I want to limit your ability to communicate"

Masterpost of A-Spec Readings

Aromantic Allosexuals (Yes, Including Men)

[PT: "Aromantic Allosexuals (Yes, Including Men)"]

"Aroallos are often treated as inherently "more sexual" than other allosexuals. Here's why that assumption happens, and why it's bullshit."

Romantic Attraction Is Not Required To Respect Women

You can't support aroallos without unlearning sex negativity

Further Readings on Aphobia

[PT: "Further Readings on Aphobia"]

The problems with "Asterisk Acceptance"

"Aces are Valid" doesn't cut it

Compulsory Sexuality Is An Issue For Everyone

When sex-positivity in fandom swerves into compulsory sexuality and othering aces. (This is the only "fandom"-adjacent post I'm linking, but doing so because 1. I know the demographics of this site, and 2. this post is so well-put that its point is generalizable to non-fandom topics too.)

Aphobia Was Bad, It Was Bigotry, It Was Part of the TERF Pipeline

Bi person discusses parallels between aphobia and other queerphobia

Bi and trans person discusses parallels between aphobia and other queerphobia

Asexual Women of Color Navigating White Patriarchy

"Trauma is not a factor by which queerness should be measured" - excerpt from Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, and related discussion

Arophobia: "You say you accept aromanticism, but..."

A-Spec Experiences Growing Up in Purity Culture Religions

"The World is Not Made For Single People"

Asexual Theory Masterpost

[bouquetface]

Navamsa Notes D9 6

Accuracy is influenced by the ENTIRE natal and navamsa. A FEW indicators does not promise one outcome especially when we have not taken into consideration the aspects.

☀️ Venus in Capricorn or Aqua is one indicator for a long-lasting marriage in d9. This is because this gives a Saturn ruled Venus. Venus & Saturn are friendly planets to one another. Saturn will generally support Venus in the pursuit of love. When paired with a chart that has many divorce indicators, this will indicate a long marriage before separating.

☀️ Moon trine Saturn is another indicator of a long-lasting marriage. This shows the spouse is unlikely to be moody and unstable. They are mature, they are patient, they make careful choices with a balance between logic and emotions. Stronger placements in the navamsa could indicate otherwise. This is only one aspect.

☀️ Saturn 8 away from Venus indicates troubles in sex life at some point in your marriage.

☀️ Venus square Saturn is another indicator of a dissatisfying romantic and/or intimate life being an issue. This aspect indicates it is likely due to the wife. She can be/become moody. At times, she will be cold, uncommunicative and distant. This will create frustrations and misunderstandings in the marriage at some point.

☀️ Mars sqaure Saturn is another indicator for troubles in intimate life. You or the spouse will feel dissatisfied with sex life at some point. These aren't breakup or cheating indicator. How this situation is resolved and if it is resolved depends on the entire chart.

☀️ Earth asc in natal to Pisces asc in navamsa:

If you have an earth rising in natal, your mindset is changing from logical and analytical to emotional over time. You are still a virgo asc but after marriage/later in life, you begin to lean toward thinking with your heart instead of your mind.

After marriage/later in life, you ease up on the rules and expectations you have for yourself and others. You become more compassionate. You can become a very generous and kind person.

A lot of this will be influenced based on aspects and where mercury and jupiter are in both charts.

☀️ General info on Pisces asc:

If your natal and d9 do not have many or major malefic placements in regard to marriage, this shows a harmonious marriage. A deep bond between the person and the spouse. Mutual love and respect for what the other does for the marriage/family. Effective communication - listening before speaking, thoughtful responses - unless other placed indicate otherwise.

This asc brings you to the depth of your emotions. You can feel the spouse is so perfect and that you are unworthy. You may have to deal with these types of inner issues, figure out the root - did it begin in childhood? is it because of how you view yourself? - A person with pisces D9 can heal themselves through marriage/later in life. Now if you have divorce indicators in natal and D9, the breakdown of the marriage can lead you to heal yourself.

Pisces ASC can have others view their married life as ideal. Specifically, you can shock your family in a nice way through the partner. The marriage can boost or restore your reputation among people - unless 10th H is damaged.

In certain incidents, other's being surprised is because they feel you are unworthy or incapable of being in a happy lasting marriage. When it is your family feeling this way, a common thing with pisces asc in D9 is that their family made the native as kid feel like they're not enough/there is something wrong or bad about them/they're not loveable.

Your social network can become very formal and professional - mainly coworkers or people to help boost your career/status. Formal interactions rather than genuine jokes and conversation. You can have limited contact with close/true friends or simply you don't have close/true friends later in life.

☀️ Earth rising in natal to Aries asc in navamsa

You and/or the spouse marry because they seek a new beginning. They want a new start in life with a foundation that can count on. They want to feel secure and comfortable with this foundation.

☀️ General info on Aries asc

This is one indicator for marrying quickly. Either you marry within 1-3 years of meeting or you marry soon after proposal - not much planning goes into the wedding. Mars conjunct Venus in natal or navamsa is another indicator. However, accuracy still depends on the entire chart - other aspects & placements can slow this down.

☀️ Venus in Cap 10th House

This indicates an older spouse. This shows married life will bring unexpected responsibilities. The marriage makes you or the spouse feel lonely. This can manifest in various ways depending on the entire chart. for ex: the spouse is much older, they die much sooner than you do OR if you have many malefic placements, the marriage becomes emotionally lonely & dissatisfying, the spouse leaves, you are lonely. This isn’t the only outcome. It can show responsibilities of family and life restrict the ability to be romantic and have fun. It can be a solvable issue.

This shows the spouse will have leadership traits. They will be hardworking and career/status-driven.

Your relationship with your father will be distant. He may die early on, or you simply have never been close with him.

This can indicate a delayed/late marriage - however we must check the entire chart. for ex: if conjunct mars, this can change.

☀️ Mars in Cap 10th House

This is mars exaltation, it is more likely to block the negatives of mars in 10th. Instead, it gives a strong, lasting marriage. You are competent when it comes to taking care of your family. You can make career advancements after marrying - this doesn't have to be directly related to the spouse/marriage, simply marriage activates career/status advancements for you.

You or the spouse can be motivated to be better than your/their own father. Once the first child has been born, you and/or the spouse really lock tf in when it comes to making money. This usually happens when the child is still an infant or toddler. The parent(s) desire more money and become concerned with legacy for their children. They may look for ways to advance at their current job, they may consider going back to school to advance, they may look for a new company that will pay more for their experience.

If negatively aspected or saturn is negatively placed, the above can change. You and/or the spouse can become demanding of one another. You and/or the spouse can have high expectations for one another and for their own life but fail or do anything to succeed. You can develop anger issues that you must get a control over. This is believed to be due to past life karmas.

☀️ Jupiter in 11th House

This is one indicator for male children. You can find success easily if malefic planets don’t conjunct or aspect this planet.

☀️ A planet debilitated in D1 and D9

You should stay cautious of this planet and it's houses. This will continue to test you throughout your life. It is nothing you can't handle. In certain cases, it can put you through many tests that help build maturity. I have read the chart of a millionaire with a debilitated Moon in 11th - which some would wrongfully consider a doomed placement.

For full accuracy the chart must be read as a while alongside natal. I offer paid readings if you are interested in finding out more about spouse and married life.