JOE ALWYN
Conversations with Friends "Episode 7"
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Conversations with Friends (2022)
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come, sit here by my side a while. I’ll get you lemonade and a slice of cheesecake. tell me, what have you been going through? do you still hate being in the same room as your father? do you still ignore it when tears roll down your face at the thought of your seventh birthday? wait, let me wipe your face, you’ve got a bit of cheesecake on the upper right side of your smile. yes, I’ve been fine. the nights are easier when you actually lay your head on the pillow and close your eyes and sleep allows you in. no, it wasn’t the medication that helped me, it was sitting through the discomfort and difficult feelings. yes, they still visit from time to time but now I know how to manage them better. do you want a smoke? no, I won’t lecture you on the ill effects of smoking. yes, I smoke too now. when did that happen? oh, just something my mid twenties demanded of me, I suppose. go on, take that call, I can wait. is everything fine? tell your mum I say hi. no, I don’t have to rush. yes, we can take a walk in the park. what’s that? oh, you want to hold my hand? no, I’d rather you not. it took me three years after you left my hand the last time to be okay with the lack of warmth. I don’t have three more years to re-teach my body to be comfortable in its inherent state of isolation. but we can walk side by side and talk about life until you catch your flight. how does that sound? yes, I’ll let you buy me flowers.
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Could I please request a webweave about complex feelings on being an only child?
unfortunately i couldn't find anything specifically related to being an only child but i am also an only child and i interpreted this as being really lonely so a lot of these are related to that. i hope this is what you were looking for <33
Amy Dunne / CJ Hauser The Crane Wife / Dante Émile After Cameron Awkward-Rich / Richard Siken Litany in Which Certain Things Are Crossed Out / pinterest / Sally Rooney Conversations With Friends
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a dear friend asked me today, “How do you experience God and know it's God with a big G y'know?”
and this was my answer: “well, God is always present. so you are always experiencing Him. God is always in your heart (Jesus) and within you (the Holy Spirit) so there is not a moment where you are Not Experiencing God. however, there are moments where you may notice God more… where your soul may soften, your heart may open and you will be able to experience God more fully (Communion is a physical example of that, you literally communing with Christ.)
to me, that experience always comes with immense relief, Love, grace, forgiveness, peace… sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. but at the core, there is this parental love like no other.
like a hen gathering chicks beneath her wings. you feel that safety, that comfort, that stillness and knowledge that “all shall be well.”
sometimes it may be more animalistic. yearning, hunger, thirst, loneliness… this hunger for God. for something. i also believe that is God. that is your soul grappling with God’s immense Love and mercy and not being able to reckon with it.
so, according to my worldview, you have already experienced God. from the moment of your creation. because God created you. before you knew yourself, God knew you. and God loved you so so so so so much. and you have been loved. and will be loved. into all eternity.
so,,,,, yeah.”
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I hated that everything I did was so ugly, but also that I lacked the courage to confront how ugly it was.
— Sally Rooney, Conversations with Friends
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Conversations with Friends (2022)
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