#Count Functions

[sugarcoatednightshade]

thinking about how Humans Are Space Orcs stories always talk about how indestructible humans are, our endurance, our ability to withstand common poisons, etc. and thats all well and good, its really fun to read, but it gets repetitive after a while because we aren't all like that.

And that got me thinking about why this trope is so common in the first place, and the conclusion I came to is actually kind of obvious if you think about it. Not everyone is allowed to go into space. This is true now, with the number of physical restrictions placed on astronauts (including height limits), but I imagine it's just as strict in some imaginary future where humans are first coming into contact with alien species. Because in that case there will definitely be military personnel alongside any possible diplomatic parties.

And I imagine that all interactions aliens have ever had up until this point have been with trained personnel. Even basic military troops conform to this standard, to some degree. So aliens meet us and they're shocked and horrified to discover that we have no obvious weaknesses, we're all either crazy smart or crazy strong (still always a little crazy, academia and war will do that to you), and not only that but we like, literally all the same height so there's no way to tell any of us apart.

And Humans Are Death Worlders stories spread throughout the galaxy. Years or decades or centuries of interspecies suspicion and hostilities preventing any alien from setting foot/claw/limb/appendage/etc. on Earth until slowly more beings are allowed to come through. And not just diplomats who keep to government buildings, but tourists. Exchange students. Temporary visitors granted permission to go wherever they please, so they go out in search of 'real terran culture' and what do they find?

Humans with innate heart defects that prevent them from drinking caffeine. Humans with chronic pain and chronic fatigue who lack the boundless endurance humans are supposedly famous for. Humans too tall or too short or too fat to be allowed into space. Humans who are so scared of the world they need to take pills just to function. Humans with IBS who can't stand spicy foods, capsaicin really is poison to them. Lactose intolerance and celiac disease, my god all the autoimmune disorders out there, humans who struggle to function because their own bodies fight them. Humans who bruise easily and take too long to heal. Humans who sustained one too many concussions and now struggle to talk and read and write. Humans who've had strokes. Humans who were born unable to talk or hear or speak, and humans who through some accident lost that ability later.

Aliens visit Earth, and do you know what they find? Humanity, in all its wholeness.

[cindythecyclops]

The idea that all OG! Cale needed was a single responsible adult whom he respected to sit him down and set him straight to prevent his self-destruction is so tragically frustratingly funny to me.

Like, it could have been Deruth, Violan or even Ron and he would have stopped.

I imagine that in a modern AU, when Cale's behavior first started, Deruth made the decision to go to therapy with his whole family to sort out their issues. Because Deruth loves his son and I do think that if therapy was a thing in Roan, then he would have definitely taken Cale.

Anyway, Therapist tells Deruth to get his shit together and sit with his son to have a heartfelt conversation because his eldest is more than the remnants of his late wife. They do that and badabing bada boom, issues are sorted and Cale isn't ruining his life and making himself miserable, and the family is close.

OG! TBOAH meet this Modern AU Henituse family and they are SHOCKED at how different the two Cales are, including Cale himself.

Then the reason is revealed and oooh boy, are there a lot of revelations.

"WAIT IT WAS ALL AN ACT?"

"All I had to do was tell him to stop????"

Funny shit.

[aroaceleovaldez]

in what is perhaps a sequel to my jason post, fun fact about Nico: if his birthday is January 28th, that makes his zodiac sign Aquarius.

You know what Aquarius symbolizes?

...a jar.

[mollysunder]

The Medarda arc of s2 struggled to be good, because the plot viciously smothered it. You can argue that Arcane was never about politics but you cannot say the Medardas were never explicitly a family defined by politics. So when the show shifted it's priorities from a drama steeped in political conflict where even though the setting was fantastical the stakes were grounded to a shift where magic is the end all be all threat to humanity, the Medardas are rendered largely irrelevant.

In s2 Mel's agency over her own story is both largely stripped from her and poorly communicated. Arcane has Mel abducted from the plot to be the Black Rose's captive. Even when Mel manages to free herself it's not through the traits the audience understands are her strengths, her cunning and social intelligence, it's through an innate instinct that natural to her and indecipherable to the audience.

Ambessa as a character is more or less a villain of convenience, which would be fine if she wasn't immediately following Silco's act. Once Mel is removed from the story Ambessa is largely disconnected from any emotional tension fuels conflict between the characters and previously drove the plot in s1. She's there to play the worse bad guy for Caitlyn and then give Viktor the man power for the Glorious Evolution.

It's frustrating to see the Medardas used the way they are in s2 because when they're together I can see how it could be good. When they're together Mel forces emotion out of Ambessa. In Act 1, Ambessa proved she could do circles around Piltover's court, which could actually put Mel in a tight spot.

Their final scene on paper sounds like a good idea where the true resolution to Mel and Ambessa's story was that Ambessa saw Mel's own ruthless behavior as she not only betrayed Ambessa to the Black Rose, but used her as BAIT to double cross LeBlanc. Ambessa died proud that her daughter killed her the way she did, and that's so cool and tragic, but the execution was a flop.

One, their final fight is completely unimportant to the actual Glorious Evolution, Mel's grief can't even be a highlight because it's interrupted by Viktor's mind trap. Two, their fight didn't rely on any of Mel's actual strengths, just magic and the poorly explained MacGuffin LeBlanc gave her. How did Mel even know it would do that?

It's like the writers had the bones for a great story for the Medardas, but then they're like the world's worst archeologists and fit those bones together in the worst way possible because they were convinced the bones made a stegasaurus instead of a T-rex or something.

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

I would really love prayer for my anxiety surrounding this recovery period and the conditions which led to my surgery.

Even though I know it’s not dangerous anymore, the slightest muscle spasm near my ribs, the mere idea of getting acid reflux, make me spiral into feelings of doom and desperation.

The more foods I’m able to tolerate, the more paranoid my relationship to food becomes.

I need to trust God with my body’s needs and future, but my emotions, like my body, are all out of whack.

[jas-the-shrimp]

[theinsanecrayonbox]

bwaha the fruits of my random inspirated labors: Doey and his Doughling

yeah, the story of Doey basically being mpreged just slammed into my brain like a freight train out of nowhere, fully formed, and demanded i write it IMMEDIATELY...and do a few doodles. because zomr why do i find the Doughling so adorable?? it's just a blob, that my brain made up. why? how?? idk but i am having a grand time and don't know how to deal lol.

just for fun, here's a comparison of my fav doodle there, seeing as since i'm out of regular pencil lead i had to use this glitter/metallic blue i have and...yeah...

if i hadn't shown you this, would you have noticed in the main sketch dump?

also for fun, the color swatches i was playing with trying to mix a color for the doughling based upon his colors

never really settled on the right color...oh well, i'm running out of garbage to stall with.

anywhos, i wrote a fic right? is it good; probably not. but i had blast, and i'm very happy with it. 32 pages/9 chapters in almost a single day, that's a feat i haven't accomplished in a long time. and like i said, the whole plot was just beamed into my head fully formed and demanded to be thrown out into the world. so...yeah. enjoy?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63145576/chapters/161714473

i'm weird. i don't even really go here, yet i have tripped into this hole deep and it's interesting. may never touch this again, might consume the rest of my being for who knows how long, not me. please don't hate me, i'm just trying to have fun in my cardboard box yelling into the void like every body else. have a good day.

[lednet-sorrow-au-blog]

Man, I love them.

Sadly Breakdown lost more than a engine.

[cobra-creampuff]

the fact that they made it illegal to make ads louder than programs on tv in 2010 but haven't updated it to apply the same regulation to streaming. who do i have to call.

[nabi-unveiled]

It's Sunday. Which brings me to the question I ask myself every week - how does someone find their own Scooby-Doo gang?

[wonderwallmp3]

noel gallagher with stuffed animals. starting a collection

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

If i had a quarter for every villain that CANONICALLY ends up being friends with (or at least close to) Donut I'd have three quarters!!!

I'm rounding up to get a full dollar of "former villains get to be friends with Donut" with red team locus thank you for your time

[thatcorridorman]

I archived the magnus archives

idk link to the full thing is here https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1vA6kin0H5bk_Nu15WTnwmAEPTAx9MLVO/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=117712544114786577413&rtpof=true&sd=true

I genuinely don't know what anyone would use this for, and honestly doing recreational paperwork is crazy and i need to sit with myself for a bit and think about this one

anyway john's case numbering system sucks so i made a new one, not really that good but it acts better as a call number system. In real life there would be albums and catalogue numbers but thank god the magnus institute archive does NOT exist so that's not an issue

[akidachi]

i have been rotating them around in my head for months

[feather-bone]

Have you made any art of orcas? I can't seem to find any with Tumblr's broken tag search, so I figured I'd ask in case you haven't. Thank you, and I love all your art! It always puts a smile on my face when I see it. c: ❤️

I have! I was a couple years ago, I also can't find the original post. Broken website lol ;w; So here's a re-upload of The Whale because I am quite fond of this guy !!

[ID: a digital illustration of an orca facing to the right on a simple ocean background. Sunlight is filtering in from above, and there are small fish surrounding it. End.]

[raylazuko]

New headcanon.

That Diluc and Crepus are alike in a lot of ways and I get the impression that Crepus also lived vicariously through Diluc in terms of “I couldn’t be a knight so you go do that” even if he may have had some reservations with the Knights himself but wouldn’t wanna alienate them because of his kids or because of business reasons.

That Crepus and Varka have a begrudging mutual respect for each other but do not agree with each other’s tactics.

Crepus, like later Diluc, finds the knights inefficient. That he was working to bring down the Fatui in his own way secretly. There is some underground vigilante anti-Fatui group that Diluc later joined because he has contacts in Mond when he gets back.

Diluc is a kid and delluded into thinking the Knights are perfect and Crepus doesn’t wanna crush his dreams.

Then reality happens.

That Diluc has noticed some corruption already and has his reservations and annoyances. That that night was his final straw. That he’s relieved to be out of the Knights but feels like he let his father down but also has a weird feeling that he did the right thing by him.

And that he later learns more about the underground efforts and just how stupid the knights are being and that diplomacy doesn’t solve everything.

But he doesn’t wanna alienate them too much because of his begrudging respect for Kaeya.

And also he’s annoyed and slightly jealous that Kaeya took his position.

He secretly wishes Kaeya would leave but if he told Kaeya everything he knows it would destroy him. Or he just wouldn’t listen.

Or that Kaeya does know and wants to change things from the inside.

Or he stays because he thinks that’s what Crepus wanted and actually sees Diluc as disrespecting their father’s wishes.

Or Kaeya stays because the knights treated HIM well, and he doesn’t have any other family left. They ARE his family. His dad abandoned him and he doesn’t know where his mom is (if shes alive). If he has other siblings they’re probably working for the Order. His adoptive dad died and his adoptive brother views him as a pushover for staying perhaps.) Let’s also not forget that Kaeya was probably pressured into doing whatever he was forced to do as a kid as being an heir to the Abyss Order basically. He probably doesn’t know HOW to say no or stand up against institutional injustice. Anything is better than where he came from. So he mostly just distances himself from the Knights by hunting treasure hoarders for fun and gathering intel because his position is literally useless.

I also think Jean’s hands are tied because she’s also barely legal and has too much pressure and is probably going off some some handbook and can’t reorganize things too much to not piss of Varka when he gets back. Plus they’re short-staffed. It’s very likely Varka groomed Jean in some way to succeed him and just put way too much pressure on this kid so now all she knows is how to work. Yeah I don’t like Varka lol.

For Kaeya it’s like “don’t bite the hand that feeds”. Kaeya leaving the knights would lose him EVERYTHING and he cannot risk that. There’s also a real chance that Varka knows about his past and if he leaves, he would become a target due to him being potentially dangerous.

It’s just a big mess all around and Ragbros+Jean are dysfunctional adults that had unrealistic pressures put on them as kids.