#DAD ANDREW!!! I HAVE NOT BEEN SO BLESSED

[useragarfield]

Andrew Garfield as Jeb Pyre in UNDER THE BANNER OF HEAVEN | 1.01

[otdiaftg]

The Raven King - Chapter Nine

Day: Saturday, October 14th Time: 3:10 PM EST

"Dad liked partying it up with the other rich shits of New York," Matt said, "but his party favors were drugs. He let me��encouraged me, even—to try whatever I wanted so I would fit in. When Mom realized what was going on she took time off from the circuit to get me clean. We thought I was okay until I started here. The juniors we had back then were into some pretty heavy things, and I was tempted. The only way I stayed sober was by hiding from them. Last year the monsters joined our team. It took Andrew all of two weeks to figure out something wasn't right with me, and he took it upon himself to fix things. They invited me out with them to Columbia. When we got there Andrew gave me speedballs." Neil's stomach bottomed out. "He what?" "He didn't make me take them," Matt was quick to say. "He just offered them, and I was drunk and stupid and desperate enough to say yes." "Coach should have kicked him off the team." "He should have, except Andrew cleared it with Matt's mother first," Dan said, jaw tightening a little in old anger. "She knew Matt was having a hell of a time here and she wanted him to kick the habit for good. Andrew promised he could help, so she gave him her blessing. She flew in for the summer to help walk Matt through withdrawal and asked Coach not to punish Andrew. She even offered to pay Coach for the trouble." "But—" "No harm, no foul," Allison said carelessly. When Neil stared at her, she gestured at Matt. "You can't really have an opinion on this because you weren't here then. You didn't see what Matt was like. It was pathetic. He couldn't even look any of us in the face. Look at him now. The monster's methods might have been a little extreme but they worked." "You're not really okay with this," Neil said to Matt. "What if it backfired? What if you hadn't gotten back up again?" "Andrew had too much invested in Matt's success to let him fail," Renee said, speaking slowly like she was choosing her words with great care. Neil guessed she knew Andrew's reasons better than anyone else did, given herfriendship with him. "I don't know if they've talked to you about Aaron's history, but you understand Andrew's, don't you? He's not allowed to fight his addiction. Watching Matt struggle was very hard on them both." Her reference to Aaron didn't make sense at first, but then Neil remembered. On his second trip out to Eden's Twilight he asked Andrew why he bothered with cracker dust. Andrew said they'd picked the habit up for Aaron's sake. Just the other week Nicky mentioned that Aaron used his mother's drugs, though he hadn't specified what all she'd been into. Chances were cracker dust was a paltry substitute. Watching Matt crumble under temptation would have wrecked hell on Aaron's own sobriety. Neil was starting to rethink how apathetic Andrew was about Aaron's life. Matt misinterpreted Neil's silence. "You're a year too late to get mad on my behalf, Neil. Trust me: I'm okay. I'm more than okay, really. I thought rehab was bad the first time through. The second time almost killed me. It definitely killed any chance of me being tempted ever again. I'm clean for good and I feel better than ever." Neil needed more time to figure out how to feel about this, but it wasn't his life, so he said only, "It's your fight."

Art used with permission by rainbowd00dles. Thank you @rainbowd00dles

[fraidy-farfelle]

"You're Not Alone."

CW: Parenthood, babies, Vincent being a cute dad

Notes: female afab reader, established relationship, marriage, for the sake of clarity I’m giving your twin sons names, but obviously feel free to change them! Also: I did not make this edit, if someone knows the artist plz let me know to credit them.

As always, constructive criticism is welcome, but please be gentle as I do cry. Idk if I'm gonna write more for the Sinclairs but if you want to be added to the taglist feel free to rb or pm me!

‘This is thoughts.’

“This is speaking”

“This is Vincent signing”

You awoke with a start, sitting straight up. As your eyes adjusted, you saw you were tucked into bed. ‘This is not where I fell asleep.’ You thought to yourself, yawning and stretching your arms. The afternoon sunlight trickled in through the curtains, and you realized you had been asleep for a while. 

Your oldest twin boy, James, had woken you as the sun rose. You remembered feeding and soothing him as you sat on the couch, not wanting to bother your husband or his brother if he cried again. So, how did you get here? Your eyes settled on the pair of cribs to the side of the room. They were empty. “Where are they?!” You exclaimed and threw the covers off of yourself in a bout of maternal panic. 

Running through the house, the bedrooms, kitchen and living room were all vacant. Trying not to panic, you took a deep breath. There was only one place left to look. You carefully made your way down the stairs to Vincent’s workshop in the basement. As you descended, you heard his radio softly playing classical music. You turned the corner and breathed a sigh of relief. 

Contently working away in this sketchbook was your handsome Vincent. He was shirtless with his hair tied into a messy bun. (the twins liked to pull on his long soft hair.) James was tied to his chest with a baby wrap while Andrew was in a basket on his workbench, both sleeping soundly. You shook your head at yourself. Of course there was no reason to panic. 

Vincent turned his head, picking up your footsteps over the quiet music. You were only mildly surprised to see his face, as he’d read about the Still Face experiment and was doing his best to overcome his insecurity to be the best father he could be. He gave you a gentle smile as you approached him and kissed his scarred cheek. “That skin to skin contact stuff is no joke, huh?” You said softly, gazing at your son’s sleeping face. Vincent nodded and cupped your chin delicately, pulling you in for a proper kiss.

“Did you have a good rest, love?” He signed, tilting his head. “Yes. You didn’t have to carry me to bed, you know.” He shrugged. “I didn’t mind. I slept through James crying, it’s the least I could do.” You huffed and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. “I’m glad he didn’t wake you up. Hopefully he didn’t wake Bo up, either.” You said, resting your cheek on his head. He made a noise of indignation. “The lazy bastard was still snoring when I went to find you. Don’t worry about him.” He felt your shoulders shake with a silent laugh at his words. “You were the picture of beauty this morning, you know.” “Aren’t I always?” You teased. He snorted softly and tapped his sketchbook with his index finger. 

Looking at the page he indicated, you saw a sketch that was undeniably you and James. He captured the way he had found you on the couch that morning. You were lying on your back, with your baby asleep on your chest. You had apparently fallen asleep before you had put your breast back in your nightshirt from feeding him. James’s head was resting on the exposed side of your chest, curled in on himself adorably. Both of you had sleepy smiles on your face. 

“It’s like you took a picture. I’m really glad you’re the one that found me and not one of your brothers.” You said. “Me too. Saved me some ass kicking.” You could tell he was joking and squeezed him gently. “How long have they been asleep?” “Not long. Fed them and they conked out.” You smiled. You felt so blessed to have a husband like Vincent. “You know, next time you shouldn’t let me sleep so long. I’m their mom, it’s my job to take care of them.” “And I’m their father. You created two human beings cell by cell. That’s more incredible than any art I could ever make. You’re entitled to a break when you need it.” 

You bit your lip. “I know, but I just-“ Vincent sighed and tugged you around to sit on his lap. He put your hand on Andrew’s head and his own on James’s back. “We made these masterpieces together. We’ll care for them together. Their uncles love them, and will help us when we need it. Whatever happens, you’re not alone.” Tears began to fall from your eyes, and you gave a watery smile. Vincent smiled back at you and rested his forehead on yours. “I… love… you!” He startled you by speaking, the gravely, strained timbre bringing a blush to your cheeks. “I love you too!”

Taglist: @rottent33th

[closetednobody]

So is Carina supposed to keep her feelings? She is hurt too. Maya was crappy to her for the last 6 months and kept her in the dark. People need to stop blaming Carina and taking sides!

Hi OP! 😊

Well...

1. I'm not taking sides and definitely not blaming Carina.

2. And i agree, she is NOT supposed to keep her feelings, which she has been doing for the last 6 months. And tbh, she still was keeping it to herself during their argument on the rooftop.

But you are right, it's only fair if i write about Carina too... so, let's see, what might be the reasons why Carina reacted the way she did, shall we? (Note : the lack of Carina's backstory made it significantly harder for me to analyze it, but let's try)

Carina grew up surrounded by alpha, chaotic men that care about proving themselves more than anything else - more than they cared about her. Kind-hearted Carina thought that, we will get what we give, hence developing a habit of caring for broken people.

Carina has always been the caretaker of her family. Both Maya and Carina were taught that love is earned, not given - Maya earned it through obedience and gold medals, Carina earned it through submission and acts of service.

As a child parent, she probably thought that caring more, caring better, if she loves more, people will change, and her love and care will be reciprocated. HOWEVER similar (but not the same) to Maya, her love and care would almost always be neglected or even ridiculed by the people she loves.

Vincenzo laughed in her face when she offered to help with his research. Andrew accused her of stalking him when she didn't, "Is that what you think of me?", she asked him. Her mum left and never came back for her but the final moments that she had with her were, most probably, centered around how to manage Andrew and her dad. Not herself.

And then, her baby brother died.

Before his death, he gave Carina an ultimatum whether to follow him on the train or leave. She, of course, supported him. She knew what Maya would say, but maybe, maybe, she could be a better sister for Andrew if she followed him.

When Andrew died, she was quick to take the blame AND instead of thinking about her feelings, her main concern was about the errands and her father.

But her dad already knew about the news.

Her dad moved on. Her mom passed. Andrew passed. And her love couldn't change what she meant to them, no matter how much she gave.

Even with Arizona, she tried to convince her to love her more than once. But at the end, she gave up and dropped an advice to Helm, "Love is too precious to be wasted on someone who can't love you back."

And then comes the blonde firefighter in the bar.

Maya freaking Bishop.

Maya is broken and nobody cares about her. Perfect.

But Maya was different. Maya proved to her that she was different.

When she had nothing to offer but grief, Maya stood by her side and cared for her. "Nobody ever does that for me," she said.

Maya wanted her. Maya even changed her mind about wanting a baby for her, eventhough she probably still didn't want it, she thought.

When she wanted to tell Maya that she wanted to carry, she arranged a special day for them and offered care to Maya, in hope that Maya would consider her option.

When Maya prompted "you want to be the one who carries...", she was quick to justify that she had considered what Maya might've wanted. But then Maya surprised her again; "No. It should be you."

But Carina DeLuca was quick to offer something to 'compensate' the favor, suggesting that they should use Maya's egg - laying all the options.

But, Maya surprised her again, "Nope. It should be yours."

"I want to hold a little you."

For the first time in her life, someone wants her and counts her as a blessing for herself, instead of her service.

For the first time, she didn't have to check what does she have to give or do to earn love. Maya didn't demand for anything else, she just wants all of her.

But at the back of her mind, she was still not convinced that anyone could do that for her - to love her selflessly. It's impossible for her to just be happy.

Maya must be happy for another delay. Her job is her baby. Maya doesn't care about the donor. "Are we going back to square one?"

Just like when she said "i know you would freak out on me!" when Maya wanted to marry her.

There must be chaos following happiness and Carina is always subconciously predicting the next one.

Because our mind is conditioned to find patterns. And predict the next outcome based on what we have seen. Calculate probabilities. Presume reasons.

A self-fulfilling prophecy.

She was getting everything she wanted. She was happy.

And her mind started to search for signs.

Signs of the impending chaos.

Of course. Instead of being just like her dad - the goal-driven surgeon, or her brother - the reckless hero, Maya has to be a combination of both.

And it drives her crazy.

Her prophecy is slowly coming true.

They were happy and Maya created chaos.

They had happiness and Maya needed to wreck it.

See, Carina? This is how it will always be.

It's either they die or they move on, one way or another, they will leave. And nothing you do would be enough to make them stay.

------------

To conclude,

Our brain are prone to negativity bias to defend ourselves. It's a psychological survival mechanism. It generates simulations of outcomes, which produce affective reactions, which are then used as a basis for predictions about the future event's emotional consequences.

And Carina has been looking for signs for chaos to happen, waiting for something to go wrong - and when she found it, her response was emotional because she was anxious, and hurt.

And she was more anxious and hurt when she realized it is Maya and her own dream family that she might be losing now.

She is not wrong, eventhough her reactions might be.

She is just in love.

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (10-16 Dec 2023)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 Second Chances in New Port Stephen (TJ Alexander, author; Aden Hakimi & Feodor Chin, narrator) - 2nd chance romance between 2 former HS sweethearts after Eli comes back home to his small FL home town (post-transition & unemployed due to proximity to an industry scandal) and reconnects with Nick (who left for college, came back, got married & divorced and became a (hot) dad). Also there is a fat ginger cat named Sweet Potato. I kind of love what a mess Eli is. Nick is also a bit of a mess but masking it better. I loved them both.

💖💖 +120K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

The First Rule of Book Club series (Deisderium) - MCU: stucky, 28K - reread for stucky bookclub; a forever fave where recovering Bucky joins a book club - just a warm hug of a series, with a fantastic OC (unfortunately does have period-typical reading of HP but I was able to just focus on everything else)

tattoo your last bruise (ftmsteverogers) - MCU: stucky, 9K - great post-WS recover fic

Blood, Sweat, Ambrosia (AidaRonan) - Stranger Things: steddie, 4K - amazing gift of a monsterfucking fic. aida has truly blessed us this holiday season

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Doctor Who: The Giggle (2023 special #3)

D20: Fantasy High: Sophomore Year - e8-15

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

The Sporkful - How Do Michelin Stars Actually Work?

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Diddy, Hip-Hop, and #MeToo

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Ol Pejeta Rhino Cemetery

Our Opinions Are Correct - What Makes Us Quit Reading a Book in the Middle?

Today, Explained - A concrete solution to climate change

Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Julia Gets Wise with Darlene Love

NPR's Book of the Day - Jordan Peele curates a new Black horror story collection 'Out There Screaming'

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Knoxville Weather Kiosk

Pop Culture Happy Hour - 2023 Pop Culture Favorites [love that D20's Dungeons & Drag Queens made this list!]

Switched on Pop - Nicki Minaj's Roman Empire

The Allusionist - 186. Ravels

It's Been a Minute - Music trends that took us by surprise in 2023

Shedunnit - The Murderless Christmas Mystery

Vibe Check - It’s Like an Inspirational Relay Race

⭐ 99% Invisible #563 - Empire of the Sum

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - New Bedford Whaling Museum

⭐ Off Menu - Ep 216: Dawn French (Christmas Special)

Twenty Thousand Hertz+ - Tournament of Champions

Ologies with Alie Ward - Quasithanatology (NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES) with Bruce Greyson

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Gourdlandia

One Year - 1990: Art on Trial

Sara & Cariad's Weirdos Book Club - Persuasion by Jane Austen with Andrew Hunter Murray

Not Another D&D Podcast - D&D Court: Sneaky Snowmen, Horny Dogs, and The PC vs The People’s Champion

Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Julia Gets Wise with Rhea Perlman

Up First - Gaza Post-War Plans, Ohio Prosecutor Misconduct, Comer Shell Company

What Next: TBD - Shein’s Newest Offering? An IPO

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Wonka And What's Making Us Happy

Dear Prudence - I Rejected A Friend’s Sexual Advance—Now He’s Being Weird. Help!

Endless Thread - This song wants you to stick out your what!?

⭐ Welcome to Night Vale #240 - He Is Holding a Knife

Today, Explained - Why millennials dread motherhood

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Classic Rock Instrumentals

Presenting Stevie Ray Vaughan

Presenting Santana

Dropkick Murphys Radio • Familiar

New Blue Sun [André 3000] {2023}

Throwback Workout

my christmas playlist

[darkhorse-javert]

Things you said where no one could hear, for Sam and Andrew!

Okay this has taken a while, as I couldn't decide which angle to take, so you're getting 3-for-1

----------------

1945- [my AU]

West Hill is strangely quiet even for the dark point of a late summer evening, only a few scattered couples. She shifts slightly more against her husband's shoulder, feels his arm tighten around her waist, drawing her in even tighter.

“This is true.”

“Yes...” Andrew's voice is so very soft, she wouldn't hear him except for being this close “Yes it is. We've made it Sam, through all that War, you and I, and out the other side. She feels his shoulder twitch a little under her head, as he half-chuckles ”And through the 'other side' for good measure.”

“Uncertain days.”

“A bit more certain with you there, Sam.”

----------

February 1941 [Canon]

She ducked out of the pub, through the blackout, and into the lea of the porch. The dark of a gloomy night, along with the black-out made it thick darkness on the street, but as her eyes adjusted she could just pick out a moving dark patch, a slightly different darkness. Andrew, making his way back to Steep Lane. He'd been being impossible this evening, so deep in the doldrums. But she watched him going home alone with a pang. He shouldn't be alone, not in the darkness like that.

“Can I walk with you?” The words rose to her lips, perhaps she even spoke them, but not loud enough for him to hear, especially not all the way down the road as he was.

-----

1950- [Post Canon]

There is a fickle hand at play in the world, Andrew decides, For him to have decided to wander into this exhibition, where the MP for East Peckham was the important guest. The MP, and naturally, his wife. He watches her across the crowd, unable to fully remove his gaze, yet trying to keep away from actually being introduced. I haven't seen you since, when, Sam? Summer '45 when I pretty much went AWOL on you. Bless Dad for not pressing the point of your wedding. I couldn't have stood that.

She's changed, changed far more in these few years than she ever did in all the pressure of war. A new thinness to her face, more worn. More compressed, really, no longer the exuberant, bubbly Sam he remembered. She was smiling at something the lady next to her said, but it wasn't one of her real smiles, a polite action. And her husband, Adam, she always seemed to be keeping half an eye on him, as if she expected to be watched or corrected, or was correcting herself.

Now stop being jealous Andrew Foyle, you had your chance, twice over, you muffed it. But if he was introduced he wouldn't be able to stay quiet, would ask her to her face what he has only just whispered to the air. And that would open a whole jar of worms, and no doubt cause her a horrible situation. Done that before, should have learned by now.

But the words are still there, and he wishes he dared ask, dares pull her aside on old friendship and know the true answer.

“Are you happy Sam? Really truly happy?”

---------

(Prompt list here) Please send in more.

[kit-middleton]

Teen Wolf 1st Watch - 1.12 to 2.04 (?)

I’m still worried about the adult men of Teen Wolf, to be honest. Except you, Sheriff, you’re fine sweetie. And Coach. Coach might be my favourite character in the entire show. His reaction to the chains unfurling from Stiles’ locker? Perfection!

I love the hot dads (and uncles) of Teen Wolf, they are ridiculously hot, but if this was real life, their behaviour would be really questionnable.

I need all of you to stay at least one arm’s length away from any and all teenagers who are not your children, all right?

Breakdown of things that delighted and/or worried me in this block of episodes.

Peter

To my surprise — but absolutely no one else’s — I loved Peter. I fully expected to adore him later (spoiler alert!), but his first appearance wasn’t promising. Ugh, who does that vain, selfish guy think he is? 

I had the same reaction to Andrew Scott’s Moriarty, and within five minutes I was in love.

So: yeah, terrifying and creepy. But he’s so amusing and weird (and Ian Bohen is just leaning into it so gleefully) that I love him. Can’t wait for him to come back.

On the “inappropriate with teenagers” list:

Complimenting Allison’s skin like he wants to wear it is both hilarious and much too creepy. Good job trying to be charming Peter!

Biting Lydia then lying on top of her with your face less than a foot away from Stiles? Uncomfortable.

Offering to bite Stiles while holding up his wrist like a Victorian vampire? Yeah, Stiles/Peter is in my top-3 OTP.

Chris

I will never stop loving JR Bourne. The voice, the eyes, the smile… Yeah, big crush. (And he is doing a marvellous Moriarty-level crazy job on Mayans, MC if that’s your kind of thing. Weirdly obsessed with wolves again over there too.)

I’m a bit confused by one sequence in 2.01, though: the grey-scaled scene where he breaks a car window (it better not have been Melissa’s car, Chris), drags Scott (a werewolf, so super strength?) out through the broken window, and threatens to kill him. Was that a flashback or a dream? I find it hard to believe it really happened. And then idiots Scott and Allison kept seeing each other in secret. (I believe it from Scott, but I thought Allison was smarter than that.)

On the “inappropriate with teenagers” list:

Shoving Stiles against a wall and getting much too close to his face in 1.12.

Shoving Scott against the fridge to threaten him the second time he has dinner at his house, risking being overheard by Colonel Tigh in season 2. (Does that make Chris a Cylon?) 

And this one is not being inappropriate with teenagers, but still really irresponsible: 

Using the Hale house as a training site and base of operations for the hunters. He knows Derek is still in town, right?

Leaving Allison (his darling daughter) tied up in the abandoned Hale house with a single young hunter. At night. So much could have gone wrong. How much do you trust that young man? How much do you trust Derek not to come back and get revenge? We know Derek better than that, but does Chris?

I’m not even mentioning the many times he’s been face-to-face with Jackson: at the end of season one, looking down at Jackson on his knees in the woods with that smirk; and putting his arm around Jackson’s shoulder to escort him out of the Hale house (did I mention THE HALE HOUSE?) in season 2. 

And God bless the directors or camera operators who linger on his ass at every opportunity. Thank you for your service.

Derek

Oh my God, Derek. Where do I start?

Maybe with the super weird way Peter’s death was filmed? Derek straddles him to finish him off, fine. But then he stands, one foot on either side of the corpse while he looks over his shoulder at the others and flashes his red eyes? Why was that blocking so weird? 

Derek gets a brand new personality in season 2. Does the Alpha power come with the personality of the person who had it before you? Because Derek with about 10-15% of Peter’s swagger is fun, but then it goes up to maybe 30% and that’s too much. The only times he felt like season 1 Derek was in his scenes with Stiles.

On the “inappropriate with teenagers” list:

Isaac. I wouldn’t say “inappropriate” so much as needlessly callous. Derek knows Isaac’s father abused him, but he roars in his face and completely terrifies him, then in a later episode, “trains” him by hitting him over and over again. Not cool, dude.

Erica. I suppose she is about 16, like Stiles and Scott, right? So what the fuck is adult Derek doing when talking to her in the morgue, stroking her calves and ankles, then grabbing her ankles and pulling her towards him, her legs either side of his hips? With the statutory rape in his past, shouldn’t he be trying not to use the seductive method to get teenagers on his side? Ugh. And because both actors are so clearly adults, the scene read as really hot, which made it extra disturbing. Thanks, I hate it.

Erica again. She jumps him and kisses him, hoping to distract. Fine, not his fault. But he kisses back for a really long time before he pushes her off. And when he does push her off, it is much too violent. I like Derek, and I get why he’s doing this, but I really, really don’t like it.

Erica, again (again). Derek looks like the douchebag twenty-something “dating” the 16-year-old when he picks Erica up at school. It’s on purpose to rile up Scott, but still. Ewww, Derek.

(Were the Stiles/Derek shippers already very active after season 1? Because this seems almost like overcompensating from the writers. I’m old enough to remember Smallville and the way Michael Rosenbaum was way too flirty with the 16-year-old boy in season 1 and in season 2 they had Lex pretty much marry 2 women. This feels like that.) 

Other random stuff:

Lydia is still my favourite of the kids, equal or a little bit ahead of Stiles.

Scott really needs to prioritize survival over Allison. Really. Stop thinking with your dick, man.

Jackson. Oh my god, Jackson. Calm down. Go to therapy. I don’t know, come out of the closet? You need help buddy, you are insufferable. 

Yay, ghost Peter! Now if he could speak a bit that would be great.

Victoria is terrifying. It’s kind of fun to discover that her husband is a big marshmallow while she is ice-cold flint. (Silver and Flint, ha!)

Who is creepy photographer guy? And why does he look about 35 when he’s meant to be a high school student?

[blackandwhlteaesthetlc]

https://at.tumblr.com/blackandwhlteaesthetlc/well-aftersun-hit-a-little-too-close-to-home/1yzgaij3t4m9

Yasss!! I’m so glad you liked it. The director Charlotte Wells and producer of the film Barry Jenkins did a q&a after the movie in LA that was really great. Hearing her story about the movie and her dad was so sweet! I agree, no win but I’m so happy he was nominated. Can’t wait to see him with Saoirse Ronan (Foe), Josh O’Connor (History of Sound) and Andrew Scott (Strangers). I think he’s really choosing some great roles. I hope the Gladiators rumor was true cause that would be awesome! It’ll be a box off hit for sure and really put him as a household name. He won’t be the indie darling/hidden gem after that. Also, Brian tyree hill💜 I’m diving into causeway this weekend. ☮️

CHARLOTTE WELLS SHOULD’VE BEEN NOMINATED FOR BEST DIRECTOR. 😩😩😩

And I haven’t seen Women Talking yet but the buzz and outrage alone tells me Sarah Polley also deserved a nomination. I’ll stay bitter about it forever. But that’s a whole other discussion.

God bless Barry Jenkins and A24, I’ve loved what this studio has done for Horror but as a whole it just DELIVERS. Aftersun is so good, it really resonated with me on a personal level. Such a strong performance from Paul, so much more subtle than the other nominees. Also agree on his involvement with Gladiator! How exciting for him. Oh! And I remember you sent me a link for the sequel announcement but I didn’t get the chance to answer. I noticed Gladiator was added to Netflix at the same time that news came out. I’ll need to give it a rewatch, I’m sure it still holds up. With Paul involved, my expectations have definitely been raised!

Looking forward to seeing Causeway for BTH too. Aftersun put me in the mood for another good drama so I’ll try to watch tomorrow or Saturday.

I have to say I gave Triangle of Sadness a try and didn’t gel with it. It seemed, on the surface, like it had all the aesthetics of a Wes Andersen film without the charm. Idk, I’m going to really have to sit down with it again to see if maybe I’ll appreciate it more on a second viewing.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts as always, ☮️ anon. I’ll keep sharing as I chip away at the Oscar nominees too. 🤓🍿

[andromedapip]

Log Entry 12-29-2022: Reading, Writing, Watching Anime with Your Dad, and the Downfall of Andrew Tate

Hello all, I’m writing this at midnight which is not ideal but I want to try to get into this new habit of actually using this microblogging website to microblog. Very little done today, I did not even get out of my pajamas.

I did a bit of reading today. I finished G.V Plekhanov’s Socialism and the Political Struggle It was a struggle alright, a struggle to read. Maybe it’s because I started reading it in the car yesterday but I don’t think I retained a single thing from it. Perhaps I will do a re-read later.

Another resolution I have for the upcoming year is I want to write a page of personal writing (non-fiction or fiction) a day. Currently I am working on a dystopian short story the idea of which I have had for about a year now. Yesterday I created an outline for it but today I actually wrote two full pages which isn’t that much but pretty good for a guy who has never done this sort of thing before.

I got to show my sister the first fifteen minutes of RRR (Rise, Roar, Revolt) and she seemed to like it ok. She said that she would watch more but I don’t believe that.

I went on a walk this evening after sunset in my pajamas. It’s a sweatsuit so its fine for me to be seen in public with it. I went all the way to downtown, walked around and checked out the used bookstore before returning.

I finally got to show my Dad the first three episodes of Chainsaw Man. I think he likes it just fine, not as much as “Attack on Titan” which is the show we watch together. He also finished watching Barry which I stopped watching after season 1 but I really should get back on it.

Twitter usually brings nothing but pain and agony but today the Lord blessed us with a special treat. Andrew Tate and his brother have been arrested by Romanian authorities for human trafficking charges. This all started because Tate tried to start beef with Greta Thurnberg, Greta clapping back, and Tate posting a Bond villain speech. Unfortunately for him he showed a pizza box of a chain that is only available in Romania so the police had reason to raid his house. Oh how glorious.

That is all for today. Will write again tomorrow evening.

[jdgo51]

The Power of Connection

Today's inspiration comes from:

Praying the Scriptures for Your Life

by Jodie Berndt

"I am the vine; you are the branches." — John 15:5

"'People used to say my father and I favored each other.

They said I had my dad’s smile (which made me happy), as well as his nose (which made me less happy). We shared many of the same interests and skill sets, including the ability to play only mediocre tennis but get a varsity-level suntan if we parked ourselves in a beach chair for an hour. Dad loved comparing forearms at the end of the day to see who was darker — a contest that he always won.

For better or for worse, children are image bearers, a connection that reflects our relationship with our heavenly Father. Remember what God said when He was creating the world?

Let Us make mankind in Our image, in Our likeness.

And then, having created Adam and Eve, God gave them a job:

Be fruitful, He said, and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.1

I can’t help but think that Jesus had the creation story in mind as He issued a similar charge to His disciples.

I am the vine; you are the branches, He said. I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit — fruit that will last.2

Just as we bear the image of the Creator, so a branch bears the image of the vine. And just as God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful, so Jesus says we’ve been chosen — appointed — to bear fruit.

I don’t know about you, but I find these twin fruit-bearing assignments, one from Genesis and the other from John, as intimidating as they are inspiring. I love the grand vision — the idea that we are in a living relationship with the Creator who intends for us to impact the earth — but I wonder how we are supposed to go about doing the job. What role can I play? What role can you? Can we really be difference makers in the world?

Thank goodness for Andrew Murray, who explains how the vine-branch union works in the fruit-bearing process.

“Without the vine,” Murray writes, “the branch can do nothing.”

As branches, we get that. We know we need the vine to nourish us and equip us to produce fruit.

We know we need God. But there’s a flip side, Murray says, to the fruit-bearing process: “Without the branch the vine can also do nothing.” He goes on:

A vine without branches can bear no fruit. No less indispensable than the vine to the branch, is the branch to the vine. Such is the wonderful condescension of the grace of Jesus, that just as His people are dependent on Him, He has made Himself dependent on them. Without His disciples He cannot dispense His blessing to the world.3

It’s okay. I’ll wait while you read that one again. (I had to.)

What Murray is saying, in a nutshell, is this:

Without the disciples — without us — God cannot provide good things for people.

That’s... astounding.

God could have chosen to work around us (or even in spite of us), but He didn’t. He chose to work in us and through us to bless other people. God chose us — His image bearers — to reflect His love and be the channel through which His power is unleashed in our world. And the way this works — the way we open the chute for God’s power and provision — is through our prayers.

We see the link between prayer and provision played out over and over again in the Bible. God gave the barren Hannah a son, provided rain for Elijah, opened Peter’s prison doors, and added fifteen years to King Hezekiah’s life.4

God moves when His people pray.

And when Jesus tells us to “ask,” it’s not just an invitation. It’s a command:

Ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to My Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit.5

When we pray, we bring glory to God. He wants us to plow the field with our prayers so that He can provide an incredible harvest.

And all I can think, as I consider how a mighty God could entrust us with such a high calling, is that it is because of how much He loves us. Not because we are clever or well-behaved or (thank goodness!) athletic, but simply because He is our Father — the Father who loves us and longs, as Jesus reminds us, to “give good gifts to those who ask Him.”6

My earthly father died, way too young, from brain cancer. As I look back on his legacy — on all the ways his life left an imprint on mine — the gift I cherish the most is the introduction he gave me to Jesus. Dad came home one day when I was just eight years old and confessed that he’d had it all wrong. He had spent his life trying to earn God’s approval (teaching Sunday school, working hard at his job, playing second-rate tennis with a big grin on his face) until someone told him it wasn’t about being a “good guy.” Being a Christian was about realizing you were not good, after all, and that you needed a Savior.

All of which made complete sense to me. Even as a child, I knew I was a sinner. The idea that God’s grace could cover my failings came then, as it does now, as a major relief — and I was only too glad to (as John 1:12 puts it) receive Jesus, believe in His name, and receive the right to become a child of God.

And today, as I slip my hand into my heavenly Father’s and consider the fruit He has already produced and the harvest yet to come, I am reminded of the blessing, and the privilege, that comes with being an image bearer.

I am reminded of the blessing, and the privilege, of prayer.

God moves when His people pray.

READ

➢ See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! (1 John 3:1)

➢ “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be My disciples... You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit — fruit that will last — and so that whatever you ask in My name the Father will give you.” (John 15:8, John 15:16)

➢ We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago. (Ephesians 2:10 NLT)

REFLECT

➢ God created you with a longing to live a life of purpose and impact. He has put desires in your heart that He wants to satisfy in above-and-beyond ways. And as you receive Him and believe in Him, He calls you His child. You are His masterpiece.

➢ Ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to the work God wants you to do, the prayers He wants you to pray. Where do you long to see fruit in your life? How might your prayers in this area bring glory to God? What, if anything, is holding you back from asking “big”?

➢ Allow yourself to envision your life as a vine-branch union with Christ, one that brings glory to God, produces much fruit, and marks you as one of His own. Surrender any thoughts or fears (I’m not good enough... I don’t pray very well... I already have too much on my plate) that may keep you from flourishing in your role as a fruit bearer. Rest secure in God’s presence today, knowing you are extravagantly, lavishly loved.

RESPOND

Heavenly Father...

➢ Thank You for creating me in Your image. I receive You and believe in You; thank You for welcoming me as Your child. (John 1:12)

➢ Give me the power to understand how wide and long and high and deep Your love is, and fill me to the measure of all Your fullness. (Ephesians 3:18–19)

➢ May I gradually become brighter and more beautiful as You enter my life and make me more like Jesus. (2 Corinthians 3:18 MSG)

➢ Teach me to pray. (Luke 11:1)

➢ May my prayers bring You glory, bear lasting fruit, and mark me as one of Your disciples. (John 15:7–8)

➢ You created me in Christ Jesus to do good works. Show me how to pray about ______ so the good things You have planned will come to fruition. (Ephesians 2:10)

➢ When I feel weak or ill-equipped, remind me that Your grace is sufficient and Your power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

➢ Thank You for choosing me and appointing me to bear fruit. Teach me to focus my efforts, and my prayers, on fruit that will last. (John 15:16)

➢ No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Keep me attached to You. (John 15:5)

➢ I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made... All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. (Psalm 139:14–16)

➢ When I am anxious or uncertain, remind me that nothing can separate me from Your love. (Romans 8:39)

➢ You live among us, Lord. Take delight in me; calm all my fears; rejoice over me with joyful songs. (Zephaniah 3:17 NLT)"'

Genesis 1:26, 28. John 15:5, 16. Andrew Murray, Abide in Christ (1888; repr., Apollo, PA: Ichthus, 2014), 25, http://ccbiblestudy.net/Topics/74Union/74Union-E/740101《Abide in Christ》(Andrew Murray).pdf. See 1 Samuel 1:10–20; James 5:17–18; Acts 12:1–19; 2 Kings 20:1–7. John 15:7–8. Matthew 7:11.

Excerpted with permission from Praying the Scriptures for Your Life by Jodie Berndt, copyright Jodie Berndt.

[althuberistically]

Huberion

TL;DR The adultery may have been a protocol of Huberman’s. What would a sufficient reason to have gone through with it look like?

> be me, be andrew D huberman

> life is good, post-doc complete, headed to professorship at stanford. 

> walk into my empty living space. do toe touches, sip health hipster tea.

>  article comes out, it’s 2016, a schizophrenic college dropout known as "Donor 9623" apparently sired dozens of children - forging documents to say he was a 160iq neuroscientist who spoke four languages. 

> damn, im who people pretend to be, in their wild fantasies

> realize most of ghengis khan’s ~1000 spawn died in infancy and most probably didn’t have children or grandchildren — but 9623’s children, who all carry the behavioral encoding to either 1) donate to sperm banks  (if male, from their dad), 2) get pregnant off a random guy’s sperm (if female, from their mom), will each be healthy IVF babies from upper middle class parents and grow up to have more kids – possibly in inordinate number like their father via sperm banks, while ensuring the reproductive landscape favors women indifferent to or with a preference for such means via their mother.

> ugh.

> whatever it’s just biofoam on a cold space rock, I’m a scientist, I know. 

> but if suburban man plants a few seeds with his 2.3 children, a regular sperm donor drives a plow. and the irregular sperm donors could be as influential as kudzu or some invasive species.

> Moreover, accounting for the interaction between low birthrates and low infant mortality, this is quite possibly the highest leverage window to enforce a genetic overdetermination regime _ever_. 

> The future shape of the human race stakes itself on the sperm bank bottleneck. Civilization is no more than a summation of the contours of the individual, and History is converging into a rhyme of one person.

> snap out of it, slap myself. am I actually cucking to people slightly more motivated to fuck a plastic cup once a week?

> grim determination sets in. 

> …

> I take a break from not doing research and not being at my lab to look up how to donate to sperm banks. It turns out there are quite strict sperm donation requirements.

> open a pdf, slightly enervated. check the list, one by one. crime requirement doesn’t apply to me, *sigh of relief*. HPV test can be tricked because I’m a world class wet lab biologist. *phew*. page cuts off at “height requirement is” and it takes a second to load and my heart skips a beat and my mouth has opened to breathe.

> it loads and…

> it’s 5’9…

> 

> 

> I pass. 

> *ten seconds of physiological sigh* and oooh, baby, I’m back. 

> check a few more local banks 

> security measures aren’t good. a eunuch could donate to these by going in with someone else’s premeditated sperm.

> seriously, Donor 9623’s mistakes were amateur.

> even so, his genes will propagate. you can’t take back a baby.

> According to a back-of-the-envelope estimate, I find that I could plausibly father two hundred children in a decade, which when scaled must be equal to the influence of two Genghis Khans in comparison to the average guy or even sperm donor. I’m not perfect, but someone will win and no one else who meets the bar can. 

> no…no, fuck that. »»growth mindset««. I visualize myself as the glory of this race. Would it matter, for what reason I do this?  The morality of the quest is the outcome. If the risk is mediocrity, then me and my legitimate height are all that stands in its way.

> I run preliminary tests, quite a blessing to have a home microscope. My sperm count is okay, but it varies within a 10% range by week, where, on a weekly donation schedule, some samples would probably get rejected every month. Quite a waste of limited time. I implement a protocol to improve sperm count, and soon I’ve passed the entrance exam for a sperm bank.

> milestone: first donation: popped and locked in the cryochamber!

> I shall yoke the human lamb, and moisten its grazing land with my water of life, like that Mesopotanian guy who’s everyone’s grand dad in the Sumerian myth.

> weekly donations become routine…

> first kid is born - I see a picture, via email, and shed a tear. 

> no! fuck! - paternal neural pathways will activate and fuck with my progesterone levels.

> close the tab and pop a zinc tablet. repeat my downregulation mantra.

> I see an apple news report released of a dutch guy who had 500 kids in six years…possibly not an outlier, either. 

> I’m currently at a half-a-dozen kids.

> oh fuck. 

> I have ten more years of peak virility, and at this rate of progress, five Huberspawn might be born annually - but that’s nowhere close to enough. 

> fuck, fuck, fuck… I had been so huberistic

> im losing the future to some idiot whose sex drive was sublimated to making love with a sample collection cup, which at any other point in history would be some degenerate behavior that got you banished, unless you were a sumerian god.

> 

> a solution comes to mind: multiple banks.

> okay, but sperm needs time to regenerate - how can I meet the weekly donation quality requirement more than once?

> mull this over, then I recall: """The Coolidge effect: mate to satiety; the point where further arousal is impossible but replace the female w/a novel one & the male immediately regains vigor & arousal. It has also been shown for females; introducing a novel male restores arousal. The mechanism is dopamine dependent."""

> this is a promising way out. does it improve sperm health? okay, yes it does. my Coolidge coefficient is zero. I need to bang chicks systematically, in addition to plastic cups.

> talk to a girl for the first time since high school. 

> no attraction. supplement aphrodisiacs.

> implement a sex regiment, which causes a momentary dip in sperm count that quickly recovers once I add a second girl.

> grit my teeth, pass the exam at multiple banks, and become a regular donor. 

> life becomes: donate, swap to `Sarah`, donate, swap to `Sally`, donate again – hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it works.

> trial more, at about ten cc (coolidge count), I start to lose track of things and sperm count plummets – but it seems six is an equilibrium.

> I’ve saturated a few banks now, and set up fake profiles at other ones. 

> an old grant and some finagling gives me access to the data of a few sperm bank databases, and I compile statistical models of outliers – it seems dutch guy was way ahead of everyone else, though since his removal no new inseminations with his sperm have occured. 

> I set up an attack, first modifying online data on `megadonors` (meaning those who are poised to have more than 30 kids) to set-up a series of clues they might be felons, which I subtly hint at in emails to encourage bank employees to investigate. 

> One by one, they lose their donor cards.

> Hubremacy.

> go on a podcast, explain a method to increase sperm and general wellness, but make a few minor errors – not factual errors, but the kind where implementing what I say would lower libido while improving everything else on net.

> podcast goes uberviral. I’m told to start my own. 

> I ramp up production, make the most successful breakout podcast of the 2020s to fill the time my sperm regenerates and Coolidge effect can’t be used.

> Sperm donors, particularly megadonors, are an easy audience to find and market to, healthy and conscientious men with a inline superiority complex. 

> And, I see a distinct decrease in the sperm count per donation of potential megadonors, many of their samples are discarded, and cards expired for the ostensible impotency. 

> closing in on 10^3 Huberspawn 

> A hit piece is published on my optimal cc. A perfect distraction from the true purpose of the protocol. I play mind games.

> pay a few asian eunuchs 10,000 dollars each to put mailed samples of the Water of Huber in Korean and Japanese banks. (They can’t discretely swap samples with their own sperm.)

> set up trip wires to drive those who are competent enough to reveal the Spawning insane – once triggered, they target investigative journalists with ads from a shell corp that gives them inversions of good therapy advice, systematically baits the males into dates with fake tinder profiles (ai images make this straightforward), then ghosts them – if I ever were to get a woman and a man assailing me, i would cross reference their dating patterns to make them ghost _each other_ in unattractive ways to discount the dopamine bonus from flakiness, effectively nullifying collaborative efforts to find me.

> net millions off of green dust juice mix fine-tuned to my chromosomal profile, and engineered to fuck up the digestion of those unlike me, to ensure that the Spawn in later years will thrive without competition.

> get a dna sample through a podcast ad from a suspected megadonor, then selectively leak modified respiratory viruses evolved to impair their descendents. It’s laughable. Almost too easy, no one could put it together that the short term effects they’re seeing now, will become long term and permanent excisions from the portions of the world least compatible with my plan for it.

> …

> …

> …

> My days are long, and I am weary. I have collated and then statistically modeled as many sperm bank children as I can, and it seems I’ve won. No others, in the narrow window I have been acting, had my advantages or insight. 

> My donations are listed under different names, and my knowledge of the Python programming language allows me to continue updating fake LinkedIn profiles for promotions and other signals of good genes so that mothers do not suspect they work for a shell corporation – (I respond to emails to the fake email addresses with a  “Thanks for emailing me. I won’t be able to respond. The office is currently trialing a new email triage system to improve our deep work. – Here is a 30% coupon for Athletic Greens: ” I also have each mother’s name on a spreadsheet with a status indication of which fake identity they believe is mine – currently no clear investigative efforts have emailed, nor tests where a mother emails to the wrong fake donor …) – while a little counter in the left corner of my desktop allows me to see the gross number of Huberspawn beside a `paperclip gray` graph that turns red if the rate of progress goes down. 

> At the moment, I have donated enough sperm to reach my ten year goal of 10^4 Huberspawn (by measure of how often the Huberwater samples are optioned) though it will take some time for the donations to be used. 

> …

> I’ve become old but I’m still ripped and microdosing TRTs. 

> I’ve been caught, and am about to be apprehended. The door is reinforced, which buys me a minute – I scramble, login to the secret computer in my wardrobe, and press a button that runs a `database input sanitization script` to rewrite the records of all the Huberspawn and a select few other bank children.

> A quarter of the Huberspawn are informed they have high genetic distance from the others, encouraging them to mate with their kin so they may recursively amplify me. Another quarter’s records are erased – the other half will soon find out and colonize other ethnicities out of incest fears. A few prodigal bank children that are not mine have been identified, and their records are rewritten to inform them they are direct-line Huberspawn, under the one legitimate profile I kept at each bank. 

> The most promising Huberspawn have already been alerted, tacitly, and entrusted with my will. They have made plans to continue the Spawning. 

> The door bursts. A police man comes in, and arrests me. He handcuffs me, and leans in close. His breath smells of green tea extract and Yerba Mate.

[denimbex1986]

'We may be strangers, but we could still get to know each other?

dir: Andrew Haigh

2023

A boy loses his parents when he is too young. It arrests his emotional development in shocking ways, gives him a wound he never recovers from.

He may grow up eternally aching for their approval, which he can never get, because they’re dead, so he punishes himself (by keeping himself isolated), punishes others (by pushing them away) in order to somehow make up for that profound lack in his life. It’s a self-made, self-sustaining hook that he cannot let himself get off from.

But enough about every version of Batman that’s ever been made.

All of Us Strangers follows the story of a man called Adam (Andrew Scott) navigating (or not) his way through life, hoping for benediction or a blessing where none is forthcoming. He lives alone in an apartment in a sparsely occupied tower. It might be a new construction, because there’s only one other chap living there on a different floor, apparently.

That guy, Harry (Paul Mescal), tries to connect with Adam, but he’s drunk, and Adam’s not taking visitors. Adam is shy and retiring, and retreats at all times.

He retreats so much that he travels back to the place where he grew up, somewhere south of London. He wanders around old haunts, even to an area that kinda looks like a beat, have to say. And a certain distance away, he spies a smiling, mustachioed man, who seems to know him, or at least like him.

Adam follows him and ends up at his childhood home. It looks exactly the same as the photo he carries of the place. Even has the family car in the same spot, and his little bike.

Mum and Dad are home, looking younger than ever (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell), and welcome him in for a chat. He is astounded to see them, as one would expect, since his parents died in a car crash when Adam was 12, and he’s in his late forties now. He’s older than his parents, somehow.

Given a gift like this by the universe, why would you question it. He takes the opportunity to speak to his parents a little bit about the present, but mostly about the past, the long ago past, the past before he lost them.

Losing them at that age; he missed the opportunity to come out to them as gay, and that’s one of the many things which he feels the profound absence of in his life. And getting to see them now means he has the chance to do it. And he does so, but these people, these beings, they are not his parents of now, of today. They are who they were back in the 1980s, which, let’s not split hairs here, that was forty years ago. Calling it a tumultuous time does it a disservice. Calling it a complex time for LGBTIQ+ people in Britain probably doesn’t do it justice either.

My recollections of the era are particularly irrelevant, since I didn’t grow up there, and I am not a part of that community other than as an ally, I hope, but I do remember the music, as does Adam, as does director Andrew Haigh. I remember the growing understanding of more and more people coming out loud and proud at a time when attacks on them were increasing as well, even as the music many members of this community were making was top of the charts, the radio and the tv shows that played their film clips.

So, for me, there being a lot of Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Bronski Beat, Erasure or Pet Shop Boys just means “oh okay those are a lot of 80s tunes I recognise”, but for the character of Adam, and the director, there’s that deeper connection that these tunes must have represented, the lifeline they provided for someone who was struggling.

It’s not a coincidence that the home Adam travels back to is not only the character’s childhood home, but the director’s, as well.

When he comes out to his mum, well, she’s still entrenched in the stereotypes and clichés that were around back in that day: she’s worried that he’ll grow up lonely and sad, or, worse yet, that he’ll succumb to that dreadful disease she’s started hearing about. She’s embarrassed, shocked, unable to make eye contact, evasive and not really the accepting mother that popular culture has led us to expect.

Dad seems to be more understanding, or at least accepting. He’s practical. Just have another smoke. I guess it’s not a coincidence that while Dad probably looks like a contemporary South London bloke from the era, he doesn’t look a million miles away from being a dapper gay gent himself.

And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Harry, Adam’s potential love interest, and Dad look more alike than Adam and his dad.

No, the bigger conflict between Adam and his dad, who claims he always knew he was gay because Adam could never play sport for shit, is that his dear old Dad must have heard Adam crying in his room, after being bullied at school, but never went in to console him, never asked what had happened, never trying to make things better.

Dear old Dad asks something like “well, why didn’t you ever tell me?”

It’s a devastating admission that Adam makes saying he never explicitly told his father what happened, fearing that his father wouldn’t understand, only to have his dad admit “yeah, if you’d told me I’d probably have bullied you too.” It’s…a gut punch amidst all this catharsis.

We ask ourselves – are these just creations of his mind? Are they the spirits of his parents? Are they saying what he would have wanted them to say back then, or what he would need to hear from them now? Or has he somehow travelled to the past? Is this just another manifestation of his inability to make peace with losing his parents, or is it an attempt to finally grow with it, to let some catharsis take place, to allow himself to let go of some unanswerable questions he had, with answers that either shock him out of complacency, or comfort him in ways he’s needed for over 30 years? Or are they just his parents, in whatever form, wishing him well, slightly confused by what they’re doing here, held up from some eternal reward?

The only meaningful answer to such questions is, maybe?

There are elements of his relationship with his parents that he gets to explore that help with his relationship with Harry, and vice versa, but none of this is neat or formulaic. There are no pat answers for Adam, and nothing really transpires in a way that’s tidy. In outings or during moments with Harry, there is fear, terror, confusion, and it’s not just because of the drugs. Some moments spent within the safe space of a club give way to further confusion about who or what is real or meaningful, and I don’t think any of it is meant to be that simple a journey.

Andrew Scott is an accomplished actor of long standing, adored by those who know him, and “oh yeah, that guy who was Moriarty in Sherlock or the Hot Priest in Fleabag” occasionally recognised by others. One of his best roles, for my money, was in a wonderful flick set during the 80s about some chaps who wanted to support Welsh miners during the strikes (boo hiss Thatcher) called Pride. Just guess what else it was about.

Here he brings a deep woundedness to the character of Adam, and a lot of it comes through from what he doesn’t do more than what he does. I wouldn’t call it a restrained performance because it’s less about restraint than it is about embodying a character who in a lot of ways knows he hasn’t allowed himself to grow emotionally, and the very valid reasons for that, but one who wishes so deeply for a chance to feel again, without fear of rejection or loss.

So many great moments from the four performers here, but they’re not showy speeches. There are moments where someone says quietly something like always feeling like a stranger in one’s own family, or wanting to go out into the world together, now, finally. They feel natural and not overwritten, and are delivered as such. Tiny steps.

Some might argue that one relationship, the one with the parents, is more important or better realised than the other, being the complexities of Adam being with Harry, but I would argue both are balanced, and treated with as much sensitivity or importance as necessary. In some ways, being less fraught but still complicated, the burgeoning relationship with Harry allows Adam to be in some ways more honest with his parents, and in other ways less.

And yet. Sometimes there are no happy endings, just the chance to feel something, even if it’s just safe, or even if it’s just love, it’s not an insignificant thing; in fact it could be everything. I imagine the ending of this flick will divide audiences a lot, at least those lucky few that got to see it, hopefully in theatres.

There are plenty of levels upon which I can respect but not relate to some themes in the film, but as someone who’s lost both his parents, there are elements I can deeply relate to, almost against my will.

It’s a hard flick to recommend, though. I can imagine plenty of people I know being completely indifferent to it, and others being utterly wrecked by All of Us Strangers.

8 reasons there are no happy mediums out of 10

-- “I was thinking about watching crappy TV with you on a Friday night. Watching old episodes of Top of the Pops from before I was born. Eating takeaway on the sofa.” – sounds like heaven - All of Us Strangers

Rating: 8 stars'

[alittlefirebirdtoldme]

Daphne knew this was a day meant to celebrate fertility. She wasn't stupid. The men and the women of the guild would often greet each other coyly and if they wanted the gods to bless them with a baby, they slunk off into bedrooms and caravans and groves to do the holy and strange rituals adults did to make a baby.

She'd heard Uncle Andrew offer to make a woman a mother more than once on this day. So far, he'd never made good on his promise.

But she wasn't stupid. The humans used this day to celebrate their mothers for the love and guidance they gave year-round. For elves, it was about fertility; for humans, something more.

Maybe that was why she spent hours drawing and writing a card for Keres. Maybe that's why she was trembling as she approached her door. It stood ajar and Daphne could see Keres reading on the bed. The door must have been open for a reason or, more likely because it needed the hinges fixed again and it hadn't shut. Keres would think it was intrusive to watch her like this and Dad would think Daphne just needed to take a breath and take the plunge.

She walked in without knocking.

"I made something for you," she announced. "It's... It's Mother's Day, right? And I don't know too much about it except that, well, you celebrate the women who make you a better person, and for me, that's you. I just wanted you to know that... Keres, do you know that I love you? You don't have to be my mum if you don't want to, but I couldn't let today happen without..."

She thrust the card out for Keres to take.

"Happiest of Spring Rites and Mother's Days, Keres. May the Seladrine bless and keep you. I love you."

Dropping the card in Keres' hand, Daphne waited to be told how wrong she was. All the other children she knew had mums and dads - sometimes more than one of each - and she just had Keres. Daphne wasn't stupid, but gods, did she feel like she might have been, standing at that bedside and trembling in case Keres didn't want her love and she was better off just accepting that she didn't have a mum and no one wanted to be her mum. She tried to breathe and she could not look away.

"I- good morning, Daphne."

Keres hadn't been expecting to see the little girl until breakfast. While it wasn't unheard of for Daphne to enter her suite, she tried to guard the place quite jealously- a place she could relax her boundaries and feel as if she wasn't doing something wrong as if she would be contaminating the home with her imperfections. Daphne was always welcome, she tried to say as much, to encourage her to interrupt if she needed anything at all, but Keres was aware just as much as Daphne must have been how complicated it felt.

The card was a shock, and she couldn't hide her wide eyes as quickly as perhaps she should have. Keres had never expected to be someone's mother, not really. She knew... she knew like any other woman that when she married she'd be expected to parent her husband's children and to help him in the creation of as many heirs as delighted him, but deep down she had always expected to be a poor replacement for something lost, or a disappointment to her husband as he sought legacy.

She held it like it might break, might fade away into the ether and she might never see it again. Her sharp eyes roamed from detail to detail, brow furrowing over heartfelt words and the kind of effort it was hard to miss. This was... gods, she felt like crying. How could such a precious thing be thrust into her arms without warning?

But then too, hadn't Daphne been such a precious thing thrust into her arms? A tiny, precocious little elf with a burgeoning magical talent and the most observant eyes in all of Daggerford, a bundle of questions and joy and energy that neither she nor the girl's father had quite known what to do with? And hadn't she fallen in love with her just as quickly as this card became one of her prized belongings? Perhaps this, of all things, was correct. The way that Daphne was always meant to be.

Keres smiled sadly and pulled Daphne into her arms, hugging her tight and kissing her hair. She'd have done anything for this little girl- did she know that? The lengths that she would go to in order to protect her world and keep her smiling always?

"I love you too, Daphne my dear." She closed her eyes and pushed back tears, trying desperately to hide the cracking in her voice. "Any woman would be lucky to be your mother. I'm happy to be whatever you need or want me to be, do you understand? Happy and honored for the rest of my life to think that you believe I've had any hand in making you the truly remarkable young woman you're becoming. Happiest of Spring Rites, Daphne."

[brooksdempsey36]

Ongcweti Besifo Sikashukela Diabetic South Africans

I miss you on a daily basis and my heart is endlessly damaged. My darling Nola, you had been a free spirit who I beloved so very a lot. I deeply regret not getting to know you higher as my auntie and turn into close! I pray for you and uncle Joe, trusting HaShem to keep you with Him and sanctifies your stunning soul. I love you and keep you at all times pricey and close to my heart. I had the chance to meet her several occasions both in Salisbury in addition to in CT. I used to enjoy speaking to her either in Italian or in French . I shall all the time remember her with fond reminiscences . May HaShem welcome Her Soul into His Realm and May Her Soul Rest in Gan Eden endlessly in Peace . Belinda, boys, Selwyn and Wendy, Gary and Glen we've completely no words for you. We are devestated, could you all be abundantly Blessed. Even although you left us over 30 years in the past, you would possibly be sadly missed and ..... My maternal great grandfather....father of Rose who married Barney Volks and grandfather of Abel and Joyce my mom who married Sydney Solomon from Wellington. You have been completely everything to me. To my great and caring dad / grandfather , Nicole, Justin and I ..... It's been almost a 12 months since you had handed...it feels surreal and we all nonetheless miss and take into consideration you on an everyday basis. Not a day goes by granny, the place you are not talked about or remembered, ..... Birdlife is an distinctive organization. Thank you for organizing this wonderful journey. Fantastic trip fantastically organized with completely distinctive experiences of the southern oceans and the Prince Edward Islands group. greg hough You will endlessly be remembered, be loved and be in our he ..... My dearest Daddy, I love you and miss you a lot it hurts. You will all the time be an enormous a part of me, You had been my rock and my finest friend and I cant wait to hold you in my arms once more. Darling mommy - you have been at all times and shall always be probably the most beloved ..... My dearest mommy - you are always with me and held close to my coronary heart ..... I love you Dad and miss you everyday. The subsequent night she must satisfy her first three shoppers. But that afternoon, earlier than her first session, her employers advised her of their workplace that they would forgive her transgressions if she played her half. Food on the table was scarce and the sheriff of the court docket was keen on their doorbell. Money was a rare commodity and this caused her father, Andries, and mother, Dorothy, to resort to alcohol abuse. Her mom moved from their home in Bloemfontein to a flat within the city centre and Engela stayed behind with her father. Ghida supplies us with a few exam tips and tips to help during examination time. We also speak to some of our 2019 prime achievers and ask what recommendation they can give to our 2020 matric pupils. The Summer Sunset Concert on Lords on Saturday afternoon was by all accounts a fantastic success! In a transfer designed to deliver the game of cricket to as many younger learners as possible, an thrilling initiative was launched at Kingswood College on Wednesday afternoon. E to many proficient young individuals, particularly within the sports activities arena, but fairly often this talent can't be recognized, nurtured or taken further, as a result of a scarcity of infrastructure and services. A good level of support for both schools made for quite a festive ambiance on the St Andrew’s squash courts on Monday evening. The night saw the highest 6 gamers from each colleges kicked off with Tyenu Cannon facing off against SAC’s Ross Gordon. The number 6 match was a extra tightly contested affair than the 3/0 rating line would attest to with Cannon taking some time to get accustomed to the SAC players unorthodox style of play. In loving reminiscence of Hans from his spouse, Charlotte, his daughter, Lin ..... Savta Phina, essentially the most sort hearted particular person I've recognized. An incredible girl who're dearly missed. We remember Grete as an exquisite grandmother who was an integral a half of our childhood, not solely in Parow but additionally in Claremont.

[drgreg]

Veterinary Surgeons In Eikenhof, Meyerton, South Africa

I had flicked on the sunshine switch. 20 years later, he owns his personal hedge fund and possesses one of the best multi-million-pound collections of fantastic wine from Bordeaux, California, and sure, you guessed it, South Africa. Thankfully, regardless of his financial acumen, he's a drinker and never a collector buying for investment. Police are warning people working as ‘skoppers’ that that is unlawful while on the similar time want to urge stokvel clubs to take the required precautions in safeguarding their money. During this time of the year, hundreds of rands are withdrawn to be paid out to membership members. Police are advising that instead of withdrawing such giant amounts of money, organize for the club’s pay out to be electronically transferred into every club member’s personal account or accounts of their choice.

My beloved brother Barry, will all the time be remembered with fondness a ..... To Andrew and Russell our ideas are with you and we want you longlife. Will all the time remember the various hours/days spent with the you and your father in the upstairs pc workshop. Just learn the sad information of the passing if Late Ivan Widan.

There was another hole-in-one this weekend when talented younger Houghton junior Saul Shapiro knocked a spot wedge into the cup on the seventh gap on Saturday afternoon. You see, I thought there'd be SFA to do in the next 21 days, at least, I reckon. And with hopefully a well-phased in return to motion from there on that may include playing golf.

To our loving Father,not a day goes by with out having you in our tho ..... Dad, I miss you so much. Not a day goes by without me pondering of you for some purpose. I miss your jokes, your cuddles and your laughter. Hey Dad once once more another Pesach with out you in person.Made your ch ..... Happy birthday Dad .Thinking of you today as i do every day and want .....

Dad, I miss and consider you daily. Dear Uncle Willie You memory & legacy will reside on by all these greg hough wh ..... We love and miss you with our all - always in our hearts.....

Harry, you're at rest now. A life well lived and a legislation career properly practised. May your reminiscence be for a blessing. Wishing the Castle family a Long Life.Sorry to listen to about your unhappy loss. Mrs b as u have greg hough been identified to us or just edna to the the rest of the world or mom to her superb daughters.THANK U THANK U THANK U A ZILLION TIMES OVER FOR THE PERSON U WERE. ARE. AND WILL ALWAYS B.. To our darling bobba and great bobba.

The surgeon, endocrinologist, and other team members as properly as the hospital are absolutely accredited and are registered with the CEMMS to carry out this procedure. “To qualify, a patient will must have a BMI of greater than 40 and will want to show that she or he has tried repeatedly and without success to achieve weight reduction by way of a spread of means. Patients should be older than 16 and younger than sixty five. Suitable candidates must be ready for lifelong follow-up, should be well knowledgeable and motivated and have a suitable threat for surgical procedure. Following assessment, affected person eligibility is confirmed by all members of the bariatric team,” explains Van Staaden.

[papipopsicle]

AFTERTASTE PART SEVEN

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Reader

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether sex and friendship can co-exist without causing conflict. Including OC's Flick and Cherry, a bisexual and lesbian in a sapphic relationship who are best friends of Y/N.

Song: Dream Boy by Waterparks

Warnings: swearing

Words: 2.1K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

Y/F and Y/M Robins were far from perfect parents. Y/F had the mental age of a toddler at times, and being an estate agent who always has to go the extra mile- he often wasn't home when his wife needed him the most. Y/M, on the other end of things, had been a stay at home mum until Y/N turned 16 last summer, and now she helped with all the administrative work for Mayor McCoy. She was a maternal creature which, coupled with her brilliant sarcasm, made for some explosive conversations. The two met on the first day of university and got married a week after the last.

When Y/M first found out she was pregnant with little Y/S Robins, the two realised they wanted a quiet bubble of a town to raise their children and grow up with them. But it wasn't until their second daughter was about to turn seven until they found their forever home in the quaint town of Riverdale. Ten years passing before their eyes, and the picturesque place didn't seen all that anymore.

Jason Blossom's death had nothing to do with the short gunshot sounding over the waves of Sweetwater River, the noise which woke Y/N from her sweet unmemorable dreams every few nights. The summer days rolled into early August without anyone caring, Y/N spending most of them at Cheryl's side listening intently to her past adventures with her brother. Betty threw herself into an internship at a publication house; Flick and Cherry had volunteered at a summer camp, and Archie was helping his dad out more and more with constructions job.

Although it hadn't been the start to the relationship Y/N had hoped for- the nervous giggles and hand holding, short and sweet kisses on late night walks followed by poetry worthy cuddling. There was a magnificent silver lining as Archie's muscles gained definition, and he suited the sweaty builder look far too well.

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y/n Humph!

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"Earth to my gorgeous queen? Y/N/N?" Cheryl quizzed her friend, who currently resided at the poolside of Thornehill Manor. Her mind was off on a glorious tangent about her rendezvous in the kitchen at two in the morning. Fixing herself a glass of water, when Archie slips his hand into her pyjama shorts, his other around her mouth muffling her needy moans.

The red headed beauty shoved her y/h/c friend playfully, warm skin sweaty under her pale touch. Y/N blinked innocently and sent her an apologetic smile, "What?"

"I asked if you've thought about dating anyone else since Clayton?" The fiery ginger girl enquired with her usual upbeat tone.

Cheryl knew she had a unique quality about her which made it almost impossible for Y/N to lie to her face. The y/h/c girl scrunched up her nose, hiding the smile the idea of Archie Andrews brought to her face. 'Yes. We started off as fuck buddies but never actually fucked. Then I drunkenly asked him to be my boyfriend, now a month later I think we may genuinely work out.'

"Maybe." Y/N bit her bottom lip, listening to her friend's squeal as she squeezed her sun tanned arm.

"I knew it! You have this euphoric glow you only get when someone else makes you climax." The redhead affirmed confidently, watching the Robins girl's eyes bug out before hitting her arm, "Y/N/N, you know your secret's safe with me."

"Fine." She sighed and took a sip of her fruity cocktail, "It started off as just fooling around, honestly I just needed to let off some steam after everything. I knew he was into the kinds of things I was, I mean he used to tease me about it non stop. And it was good, so good I stopped being a pussy and asked him to be my boyfriend."

"Holy freaking hell!" The Blossom girl grinned with excitement, "Dare I ask, who is it?"

Y/N deadpanned at her friend, "Guess."

"Please don't tell me it's that muscular oaf Reggie, he's pretty but there's not exactly much going on upstairs." Cheryl tapped her temples and rolled her eyes at the thought.

"Nope."

The ginger thought for a moment, consulting her liquid courage and splashing her feet around the waters edge, "It's Archie."

All it took was a side-eyed glance at the y/h/c girl's blooming rosy cheeks to know she definitely wasn't wrong. Y/N severely lacked the ability to lie, even if her tone held conviction, her features were far too expressive and told the truth all on their own. It's not like they were hiding it from anyone, but the past four weeks had gone far too quickly without any moments to spare for the world around them. They slept together each night, the majority of that time not actually spent sleeping, but they hadn't been given the chance yet to explore more romantic avenues.

"It's fucking Archie Andrews- you're fucking Archie Andrews and don't you dare deny it." Cheryl gawked in her gorgeous white and nude bikini, watching as her friend lay back against the hot marble slabs which encased the large pool with the largest grin adorning her plump lips.

"We haven't had sex yet, so technically you aren't completely correct." Y/N winked but carried on before the girl exploded with a hundred questions and could never be turned off, "Trust me, I want to, and I'm sure he does too. But you know, it's his first time, I want it to be perfect for him."

"Y/N/N, you really love him, don't you?" Cheryl gagged to begin with, but she found it sweet in truth. She wanted someone to hold, who would hold her right back just as tight for no other reason than needing to.

Y/N sat back up and paddled her feet, "You have no idea, Cher."

Arch 🧡

That new post should be illegal

Tiger 💛

Ooo

I like this reaction

Maybe I should post more

Like this one

Cheryl pushed me in the pool

And I may have had a drink

Or three

Arch 🧡

Well that's sexy

I swear nobody looks good like that how on earth

You're a goddess

But also

How's she holding up?

Tiger 💛

🥺���

Broken

But she's strong yk

You coming over for dinner?

Arch 🧡

Yeah Y/D invited my dad too

Need me to pick you up from Cheryl's?

Tiger 💛

Awe cute we love a bromance, and it's all good my mommas coming now anyways :))

Hours had elapsed far too fast and soon the summer heat simmered into cool waves of wind brushing over sun kissed skin. Cheryl's arms were clasped around the blonde's shoulders in a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much, Y/N/N, I don't know what I'd do without you!" The Blossom girl professed with sparkling eyes and a brilliant smile.

Y/N beamed up at her, fingers carding through her damp y/h/c hair as she looked over her shoulder to see her mum pulling into the driveway, "You don't need to thank me, Cher, friends look after each other. Message me if you need me, okay?"

Cheryl promised she would and the two teen girls hugged goodbye, with Y/N soon heading home- listening to her mother gossip about Hal and Alice's screaming match last night, Y/N loved her inability to keep her mouth shut sometimes.

"Mom," The y/h/c stopped her mid sentence and received a side eyed glance in response, "I need to tell you something and you're totally not allowed to freak out while you're driving."

Y/M's eyes widened and her grip tightened around the steering wheel, her daughters very rarely confided in her. While she knew her youngest was safe in her promiscuity, neither of Y/M Robins' girls ever shared their secrets so for the most part she took finding out into her own hands.

"Honey," The forty four year old's calm tone was hardly comforting to the teenager, "if this is about you and Archie fooling around, your father and I figured that out a long time ago, like so long ago. Who do you think does your laundry? When your underwear starting looking like dental floss, we caught on pretty quickly."

Y/N felt like a deer in headlights, "Mum, what the hell?" Her cheeks heated to an inhuman temperature.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, as long as you're being safe and he's-"

"For the second time today, and I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but I am not having sex with Archie Andrews!" Y/N's high pitched voice sounded through the car. It truly was a blessing and a curse to have such open minded parents in situations like this. She thought about telling her mother the truth, but Y/M was a blabber mouth as well as a gossip, so Y/N chose to withhold certain pieces of information.

The Robins matriarch dropped the subject but didn't forget about her daughter's tone, and continued to ramble on about how odd she found Penelope Blossom and the whole Blossom family in general. "Like why on Earth is Rose in a wooden wheelchair? They know it's the twenty first century, right?"

As expected, the Robins household was once again filled with warm laughter and copious amounts of food. The topic of Jason was skimmed over, and Y/S found herself away from the dinner table. The eldest Robins sibling was currently pleading with Alice as she began shoving all of Polly's belongings in the boot of Hal's car. She couldn't comprehend life without her best friend, not after losing Jason. They were meant to be going travelling together for a year- working the worst jobs and staying up all night to watch the sun rise in different countries. But instead, Y/S's eyes were blinded by tears as she screamed down the street at the speeding car, with Polly Cooper taken out of her life indefinitely.

Y/N was oblivious to the dark inner workings of the Cooper clan, Betty's knowledge about her and Archie unbeknownst to the loved up teens. She'd spent every second not occupied by her internship trying to justify the romantic act as a fleeting moment of loneliness fuelled by alcohol. She wrote in her diary ideas on how she could win Archie back over, not knowing it was in fact, too late. Betty found herself hopelessly in love with the boy next door, unfortunately for her, the girl across the road was the only one his mind found.

Archie and Y/N washed up while their parents resided to the living room with three glasses and a bottle of white wine. The short girl turned the tap off after placing the last utensil on the draining board, flicking her sudsy hands at the boy's face. "What the-"

She didn't give him a chance to finish that thought, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his torso- planting a kiss onto his lips, then cheeks, then forehead. The two fell entranced by each other, planting pecks across nape of her neck and top of his head.

"Son," Fred's voice called out from the next room and the two immediately pulled apart, hearts beating in their ears, "we're going in a minute."

"Alright." He replied, placing his girlfriend on the floor once more.

"I wish you'd stay." Y/N pouted childishly, she meant the words entirely but hated feeling overbearing. Her life had been turned upside down this summer, it started off with her unable to fall asleep with another person next to her- now Archie's chest was her most comfortable pillow and is arms were the warmest blanket.

"Tomorrow night instead, Princess? I promised my dad I'd spend more time with him before senior year." The boy reasoned, holding her close and unknowingly feeling the exact same way, he adored holding her by her waist and pulling her close under the duvet.

"Monopoly night at yours?" She grinned and he nodded back in reply, the two sharing a final kiss in the kitchen before walking into the hallway.

Y/N felt at ease as she wished the two a goodnight and headed up to bed. She took off her tea dress and replaced it with Archie's bulldog t-shirt, managing to reach the same length on her thighs as her dress did.

Arch 🧡

I can still smell your perfume on my sheets

Tiger 💛

Marking my territory obviously x

Arch 🧡

I love it

Hope you sleep well baby x

Tiger 💛

Call me that tomorrow and we won't be sleeping so you better rest up tonight x

Arch 🧡

Whatever you say, baby x

Tiger 💛

Goodnight x

Arch 🧡

Night princess x

part eight?

wanna be tagged? just send in an ask x