#DR fans piss me off so much

[httpskarmaco-main]

CW/TW: Mentions of murder, incest, abuse, assault (physically and sexually) and stalking.

I genuinely hate how badly the DR fandom normalizes obviously toxic/harmful ships. "Oh stop trying to make a ship war-" It's not a ship war. You guys are out here literally shipping family members together and see no problem with it? Kanon and Kuwata, really? Korekiyo and his obviously abusive sister? I've seen some of y'all ship fucking Makoto and Komaru and post it like nothing is wrong with what you just created - it is so mind numbing how stupid some of you DR fans are.

Not to mention Murder x Victim. It's so stupid how much Ibuki/Mikan, Leon/Sayaka, are shipped or Chihiro/Mondo are. "Oh but my ship is in a non-despair setting-" I literally do no care. Your AU isn't canon, none of your guys AU's are - but you know what is canon? The actual universe where that person did kill the other. You AU's don't change anything about what's canon. I will say, with some ships like Nagito/Chiaki and Kaede/Rantaro are acceptable - 1, Chiaki didn't even know what she did kill Nagito and had no intent to ever kill Nagito and same with Kaede; she didn't even kill Rantaro, she was framed.

An honorable mention for this part is Ishimaru/Celestia. Holy fuck that ship pisses me off so much. Celestia didn't kill Ishimaru, I'll give you that, but that's the only good thing - she still planned out how to kill him but just got Hifumi to do so but you wanna know how she got Hifumi on board to do so? Lying about Ishimaru blackmailing her and assaulting her both physically and sexually. Not even that, she basically framed Ishimaru too for stealing Alter Ego.

You can see any of these Murder x Victim as close friends but for the love of god, do not ship them - it's toxic.

Lastly, a toxic ship that pisses me off so much; Toko/Byakuya. How the hell is this ship so popular and normalized? It's not only Stalker x Stalked but also Abuser x Abused. Byakuya literally gets physically sick from Toko just fantasizing about him and he can be miles away. Plus not to mention all the comments she makes about Byakuya to his face which he has shown great discomfort in and has told her to stop multiple times, but does she? No. "Oh but Toko has a mental disorder-" boo fucking hoo. You can't use a mental disorder as an excuse epically since it's literally only Toko doing this - Syo just wants to kill Byakuya and Syo doesn't make comments towards Byakuya like Toko does. And Toko has been told multiple times by Byakuya that he doesn't like it. Also may be wonder "oh, how is it Abuser x Abused? Toko doesn't hurt Togami physically." Yeah, PHYSICALLY. But she does abuse him emotionally - Byakuya would literally lock himself in a bathroom just to get away from her.

I'm just glad that I don't see Junko or Tsumugi ships normalized. They both literally made games to have people kill each other and Junko literally took over the fucking world.

Sorry, I just needed to rant because I've been seeing too many fanarts of toxic ships and it's pissing me off. Also hate me for this, I really don't care - it's the truth.

[blluespirit]

okay first three episodes thoughts

good

bending is cool as fuck

sozin’s actor does an amazing job at full crazy but calculated

scenery is STUNNING

monk gyatso made me cry. idk why i just saw him and wanted him to give me a hug so bad

APPA ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD AND NOT LIKE A LITERAL MONSTER

i wasn’t sure how id feel about them showing the air nomad massacre but i think the importsnt thing is that they showed it was a massacre - and that although they can defend themselves, they don’t have the ability to fight back like an organised army would bc they’re pacifists! they attacked a peaceful group

the abandoned fire nation ship in the southern water tribe looks so fucking cool

ARTIST ZUKO???!!! LETS GOOO

Dallas does an amazing job at getting across Zuko’s intense desperation

I actually ended up loving all the Sokka and Suki interactions sm it was so cute and wholesome

Katara is perfect i will kill and die for her

Azula’s opening scene being her manipulating those people trying kill ozai ultimately leading them to getting burned alive by him and smiling - literally so fucking good. she is the best villain in history of forever

really good move having the mechanist (Sai!) and Teo be in Omashu imo. having them destroy the northern Air Temple so carelessly always pissed me off

THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS ARE LITERALLY PERFECT I AM SCREAMINGGGG

I was wondering how they were going to introduce the Mechanist and Jet in a limited amount of episodes but I like how they combined the two stories

Also Sokka absolutely nerding out in the Mechanist’s home is so important to me

Zuko getting has ass beat by that lady for fighting Aang is literally so funny and reminiscent of the goofy aang vs zuko fights we see in season 1 (to be clear: i adore zuko. this is NOT hate on him)

Zuko losing shit about his notebook and trashing his room and then outing himself as a fire bender in Omashu is so perfect. god i love him so much. it’s very season 1 zuko. it’s giving I DONT NEED ANY CALMING TEA!!!

things i was not a fan of: (some of these are a little pedantic i’ll admit)

Exposition is a little is a little janky but i’ll forgive it i guess bc at least it isn’t egregious as The Movie That Shall Not Be Named

Aang leaving just to get fresh air/clear his head and intending to come back is a silly change to me. all i keep thinking about is the storm where we got those epic Zuko and Aang parallels which now doesn’t really work and also takes away a lot of Aang’s depth. A good change adds to the story, but personally this seems to take it away

WHY would they not make Katara the one to bring him back from the avatar state? just seems like a strange choice to me? not saying this from a shipping point at all but that moment is a big step to their bond/friendship especially since they have only just met

Still don’t understand why they made the head of the village Suki’s mum. like i don’t think it’s a terrible choice but they still could have let them have a mother/daughter bond but still let Suki be the leader without any implications of nepotism. it mostly seeems silly

tl;dr - really enjoying it so far!

[dr-spectre]

I saw this really great thread on twitter by Grungygrim and it definitely highlights my thoughts and frustrations with the story of these games and the Splatoon fandom as a whole. (be forewarned, i get really tilted in this blog post fyi.)

I made a blog post about 2 weeks ago where i said that i was happy that the narrative online that "Callie is an idiot who got kidnapped and then brainwashed/mind controlled against her consent" is going away. (Here's the link: https://www.tumblr.com/dr-spectre/749710338672525312/im-so-happy-that-the-narrative-online-that?source=share)

Unfortunately I'm gonna have to retract a lot of the stuff i said. I'm still seeing, TILL THIS DAY THAT NARRATIVE ONLINE! IM STILL SEEING SO MUCH MISINFORMATION AND IT MAKES ME REALLYYYY ANGRYYYY!!! As a big fan of Callie, people completely outright ignoring her character arc THAT WAS SET UP SINCE SPLATOON 1 BY THE WAY!!! and not even bothering to look at outside sources for more information and lore genuinely pisses me the fuck off to no end.

No, hypnosis is NOT MIND CONTROL/BRAINWASHING! I DONT WANNA KEEP REPEATING IT! YOU CAN LOOK IT UP! if a person is genuinely uncomfortable and doesn't wish to take the suggestions to heart while hypnotized, THEY WONT DO SO! THEY STILL HAVE CONTROL! Yes, Marie did say "kidnapped" in some of her dialogue, but from her perspective, OF COURSE SHE'S GONNA THINK CALLIE GOT KIDNAPPED! She's known to worry about Callie all the time and ruminate about her, of course she's gonna think of the worst case scenario, doesn't mean she's right though. Was Octavio still in the wrong for hypnotizing Callie in the first place and allowing her to bring out her darker traits more easily? YEAH! NO SHIT! HE'S A BAD DUDE! Not a totally evil person but he has made some awful decisions out of desperation for his people. Why do you think he was so quick to help out the New Squidbeak Splatoon in the finale of Splatoon 3? His people got turned into fluffy monsters by a giant bear, he's all about helping his people.

Hell look at how Callie acts while under the Hypnoshades, she decorates Octo Canyon and her peppy and energetic self is still in tact even during the final boss, she's just more mean and violent. Callie was in an emotional and mentally unwell situation due to her overworking herself and being incredibly lonely as her relationship with Marie was damaged overtime. Callie accepted the suggestions of DJ Octavio and heard him out, AS SAID BY HER FROM THE RELATIONSHIP CHART! She wasn't forced into anything. She didn't suffer "sexual abuse" from Octavio by being forced into skippy clothing as some psychos say online, if she didn't want to wear that outfit she wouldn't cause hypnosis is NOT MIND CONTROL!! I hate having to repeat this over and over again, i hate how the developers basically rushed and ruined this interesting villain arc with stupid shades, only to try and hastily fix it later with an obscure post about A GOD DAMN RELATIONSHIP CHART THAT PEOPLE EITHER DONT KNOW ABOUT OR DONT CARE TO LOOK AT BECAUSE THEY SEE SPLATOON AS SOMETHING FOR KIDS AND TO NOT GIVE ANY CARE TOWARDS!!!!!!!!

I made a god damn giant blog explaining Callie in Splatoon 2 because i felt so frustrated about how my favorite character in the series was being treated and i tried to salvage the story that the writers tried to make. The way that people made her situation worse by saying she got kidnapped and forcibly ""mind controlled/brainwashed"" actually gave me chest pain, thinking about that kind of scenario for Callie actually hurts me... Heck i cant even listen to the Splatoon 2 stage music or final boss music because hearing her reversed vocals makes me feel uncomfortable due to the misinformation online. I hated all the misinformation and i wanted it to stop. HELL EVEN IN GIANT TIMELINE VIDEOS WHERE PEOPLE DO TONS OF RESEARCH THEY STILL GET IT WRONG!! UGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess it'll still be the common and popular notion that Callie is an idiot that got kidnapped and then ""mind controlled"" by some shades... oh well... ugh...

I'm sorry if I'm coming off as really angry, i am. It's just, my brain is really hyperfixated on this squid and she means a lot to me. Seeing the way the fandom as well as the writers treat her makes me really mad. I hope i can find some peeps who feel the same way as i do. Misinformation is so frustrating man... i dont even wanna get into the Octarians because that's a whole other can of worms... anyways im done ranting. have a good night or good morning wherever you live y'all.

[frownyalfred]

GLIMMERGLAMMER DELETED ALL THEIR FICS?!? This is devastating news I had no idea. This explains some of my deleted bookmarks… 😭😭

Yep. This is why we have to be nice to our fandom authors. The relentless harassment and locked comments, blocked anons etc are SO pervasive. It runs you down until you don’t want to write anymore. Until you don’t find joy in fandom and want out.

I feel so bad for them and their parting tumblr post pissed me off (on their behalf), not as a reader but as a writer. Because I’ve been through the same anti bullshit on a smaller scale and I hate that it’s happening to these amazing, talented authors. They do so much for free and fandom punishes them.

I’m also upset that many people were mad at glimmerglanger for deleting all their fics. That’s their choice 100% and while it crushed me as a reader and fan to lose those, I understand. We shouldn’t make this worse by kicking anyone when they’re already down.

TL;DR: be nice to authors. really.

[cheonstapes]

could you write about lando making the reader squirt? there’s a huge lack of squirting fics in f1 😣

lando norris stars in... 'IT'S RAINING IN SILVERSTONE' .･ﾟﾟ･(／ω＼)･ﾟﾟ･.

a/n ~ f1 request lesgo!! this was so fun to write ty baby 💗💗💗 i took forever to get this finished but its done now and i can finally rest

summary; you and lando celebrate his race win by giving him the one thing he's always wanted - to see you squirt.

pairings; lando norris x fem!reader

wc; 900+

cw; SMUT!!, squirtin, m*x, oral sex, you and lando being cute, wall sex, fingering, he's lowk a meanie, established relationship, it's actually quite wholesome, nawt proofread - took like a week to start this oml

it was neck and neck at this point, with two more laps to go, you found yourself gripping onto the edge of your seat - watching the monitors closely. you had so much faith in lando, seeing how hard he was training for his home race. you could hear the screams of the fans from the paddocks as he sped past, your heart was beating so incredibly fast, hands nervously rubbing on your jeans.

one more lap. you could see your boyfriend’s drs activating - the car revving up just behind max. “c’mon, baby, you can do it.” he glided past him with ease, despite max’s best efforts to stop him getting past. seeing lando taking 1st, you let out a relieved sigh, falling back into the chair as you clasped your hands over your mouth, a small smile hidden underneath. 

the checkered flag waved, everyone running outside to go greet him, cheers rang in your ears, smiling brightly as you chucked the headphones off and ran to him. he was surrounded by the team, lifting him up, patting him on the back, hugging him. it was nice and all, but he was really looking for you. turning his head, he squinted as he saw someone running towards him, eyes widening as he recognises that beautiful smile amongst all the people. politely pushing past everyone, he meets you in the middle, grabbing you by your waist and picking you up, kissing you with the utmost passion. 

“hi, baby.” you giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck. he holds your body tightly against his own, sighing softly into the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet perfume. you stand in silence for a moment before he lifts his head, staring deeply into your eyes. “hi, love.” you smile, pressing your forehead against his, whispering. “you did it.” he grins. “i did it.”

he gracefully set you down, hand trailing down to the small of your back as you both squint from the bright flashes of the cameras pointed towards your loving interaction. you both pose for the cameras, lando’s arm dragging you in closer as he leans in to whisper lowly in your ear. “y’know you’ll always be the real prize, babe. ‘m thinking you need something in return for being such a good girlfriend to me.” he flashes you a cheeky smile, a hand discreetly squeezing your ass before he moves it back up to your waist. “and i’ll show you how much i treasure you later.” 

——————————————————————————————————

“f-fuck, lando, honey - s-slow down.”

he had you pressed against the wall of his hotel room, head buried in between your thighs. he was really good with his mouth, you knew that already - but somehow everything felt so different. maybe it was the way he was curling his tongue around your walls, suckling onto your clit, or maybe it was the adrenaline from his last win. 

frankly, you couldn’t care less. all you knew was you felt fucking amazing. “did you get sweeter since i last ate you out, love?” he laughed against you, the vibrations tickling your clit. he was so smug it pissed you off, but fuck did it make you wanna ride his face till he can’t breathe. “s-shut up, i’m - shit…” he only smiled, fingers slowing down inside of you as he looked up from your thighs. “you’re what, baby? you about to cum for me?” 

“shut u-up.” your thighs were trembling around his head, hands gripping his curls as you push his face deeper into your cunt. you could feel three thick fingers enter you, blunt nails scratching at your sensitive walls. lando was wiggling his fingers in every way he could, eventually finding that spot inside you. his grin was nothing short of evil, his slick fingers abusing the power of spongy flesh. 

“oh-ho, you’re squeezing around me tighter than usual, babe. you sure you’re not about to cum?” again, such a cocky fuck. smiling up at you as he moved even faster than before, your stomach inadvertently clenching as you could feel pressure on your bladder. you whined a bit, shifting in his hold, your free hand pressing down on your stomach. lando immediately clocks on, his hand moving over yours as he presses down harder, small trickles of liquid already dripping onto the floor.

“oh shit, babe. you’re gonna squirt aren’t you? naughty girl, don’t keep these things to yourself.” he sucked harshly on your clit, 4 fingers now intruding your tight hole. sweat was dripping down your face as you tried your hardest to keep your balance on his shoulders, but your knees felt so weak, toes curling from the sensation.

“babeee - c’mon i know you want to. i can feel you clenching, i’ve always wanted to see you squirt anyway.” why was his mouth so dirty? you knew you were gonna squirt all over him, but it was a little embarrassing to practically piss all over your boyfriend. but he didn’t care. he was so shameless when telling you his desires, and this was no different. his words were laced with an intoxicating thrill, you just wanted to cum so bad. 

“l-lando - ugh, shit - cumminggg!” your cunt spasmed violently around his tongue, his thumb flicking your clit. you felt a sudden relief rack your body, streams of cream coloured liquid jetting out of you. “look at that, you’re such a good girl aren’t ya?” he chuckled again, eagerly swallowing all your release. he moaned at the taste, licking a stripe up your cunt before he pressed a light kiss on your clit. 

“how about an orgasm for every point i got today?”

-it's friday yeah then saturday sunday whaaat

[furst1ded]

Thoughts on Shipping Alastor from an AroAce person

(this entire thing is copy and pasted excerpts from a Discord rant so if the grammar is funky, that's why, I just felt like giving my 2 cents on the topic)

Aroace people can still participate in romantic and sexual interactions. All being aro/ace/aroace means is you don't feel romantic/sexual attraction upon seeing other people. You can feel it later on or in waves or could never feel that attraction but still can participate and love others in a fulfilling way. Some aroace people are fine performing intimacy onto others but dislike reciprocation, others are the opposite where they're fine receiving but not giving. It's a spectrum.

The nuances of asexuality and aromanticism aside, you can be in a relationship without being in a relationship. Platonic relationships beyond friendship are a thing (QPRs for example). But like, I get it. Not everyone who ships Alastor keeps it confined to a QPR. And his character seems pretty sex-repulsed and romance-averse. But here's the other thing. He's fictional. As long as his character remains aroace in canon, fans taking the silly radio man and making him kiss the devil isn't taking away from aroace representation.

This next bit is coming from me as an AroAce person myself. I ship Alastor. I write/read him kissing people and fucking and acting romantic. And guess what? It's related to expressing my sexuality. Alastor is one of my favorite characters in anything ever and I love that there's a character that represents a facet of myself in a popular media. I relate to him so goddamn much and that's why I ship him. He's a fictional character I like that I project onto, so I use him as a way to navigate and explore romantic/sexual relationships that I'm never going to participate in myself. He's not real so I just puppet him around to live through vicariously in the scenarios I don't want to be a part of myself but find super interesting. It's not anything new, I do the same with my own characters in the stories I write them in, it's part of storytelling, I just use him for a specific type of story for a specfic part of myself.

It's not like we're hurting anybody by shipping him. We're not drastically effecting canon and making him an alloromantic. I've seen plenty of fics that ship him that either make it a QPR or they thoroughly explore the nuances of his asexuality and what subtype of sexuality he is and how he navigates it and I love those fics because they speak to me on a spiritual level. Grayromantic Alastor, demisexual alastor, sex-repulsed but romance-favorable Alastor, sex-repulsed and romance-averse Alastor in a one-sided ship fic, etc they're all so important to me because it helps me live out my own sexuality and romantic orientation and explore myself.

I get it. Not everyone is respectful. Not everyone feels the way I do and use characters in this way. It can suck seeing people just ignore his sexuality when asexuals and aromantics don't get much in terms of screen-time. But you can't control everybody and what work they put out. And trying to censor stuff like that does more harm than good. I just explained why fics involving Alastor are so important to me. They normalize QPRs and aroaces being in relationships. That's probably what pisses me off the fucking most. If we're not allowed to write about aroaces being in relationships or romantic/sexual situations, you put aroaces into a box. A box where every aroace is perceived as sexless and loveless, which just isn't true. A box where aroaces are prudes or infants who can't handle hearing the word "sex". It's just so frustrating. You can be mad at fics that expressly rewrite or stomp on his sexuality, sure. You can't stop them, but you can disapprove of them. But let the rest of us have our fun making the literal devil and TV head man have the hots for a man whose teeth are yellower than the sun, Jesus Christ.

TL;DR: asexuality is a spectrum, I'm aroace and use shipping as a way to explore and express myself and I know I'm not the only one, trying to suppress works where an Aroace character is seen participating in romance or sex can actually be harmful in that it promotes only one idea of what being aroace is, and at the end of the day the character I'm talking about doesn't even exist.

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

Popping up in your askbox for the second time today oh boy- I really hope you don't mind me requesting again aaahhhh feel free to pick and choose one if you wish, no pressure at all! 🎔 Alright, this is actually not a romantic request but general hcs for the band! I'd love to see your take on how the band would be around their fifth member that is pretty much the most shameless and open person out there. The reader's not afraid to make snarky remarks on stage and interviews, will make a fool of themselves if needed, will wander around in undies like "one of the boys" (I hate that phrase but idk how else to explain it, I have to pull out my english is my second language card). Basically a chaotic free spirit of a person! Prefferably female reader but you can make it neutral too ^^

Have a great night Lana! ♡

(Jello! I love this idea and this is sorta me in my DR also! Sorry if this took a long time to put out, enjoy and have a wonderful night!)

Chaotic And Carefree Reader

Bill Kaulitz

He is most likely surprised on how open you are

And shameless

He thinks you are just like Tom

So it's no wonder you guys have all been friends since you were kids

He is happy you find it very comfortable with him

You often steal his shorts and wander around in a bra

He's so used to it he doesn't blink twice

Will ask you sometimes if you're okay with him being around you while you're not wearing a lot

Is surprised you don't give a shit but just shrugs it off

You're like his sister that clung onto his back so he doesn't mind

He finds your behavior in interviews so funny

You just pop outta nowhere with the craziest shit

Is collapsing into your side and giggling into your shoulder at your comments

He asks a lot why you say just whatever and you responded like it was nothing

He fears a scandal and doesn't say too much in interviews so he is slightly worried when you just put everything out there

Finds it quite normal on how open you could be about anything

From relationships, too hookups, to compliment's, insults, everything and anything

He's laughing as he tells you to stop insulting people in interviews but is laughing so hard he can't breath

The type you have to double over and take a minute

His laughs go silent

You have saved his ass quite a few times by making a fool outta yourself

You don't mind though but he feels as if he owes you

So get him to pay up or steal his shit because when he owes you he will let you get away with murder

You don't fear a lot of shit and just are you and he admires that

Will let you go about your style, laugh while you snark interviewers and disrespectful fans

When he needs someone to insult someone or just to make a snarky comment he calls you on what to say

Tom Kaulitz

He's still the playful asshole he is

So as you walk around in just a bra and underwear, not giving a shit, he doesn't blink twice

He will throw a flirty comment just for the hell of it and seeing you flip him off

You guys just have a game on who can piss each other off

But he truly doesn't mind when you hang out with him just in shorts and a bra like nothing

Some people have put you two in a dating scandal and you guys laugh at it so many times while just saying you're comfortable being like that around him

He doesn't mind it, neither do you so you guys don't get the issue

But tbh you guys found it funny to trick press with a dating scandal bc they started but whatever

He often times forgets you're not his sibling

It's most of the times when you guys are beating each other up and someone breaks it up saying

"Tom, you can't hit her! She's a girl!"

He doesn't give a shit and will fight them and you just to show them just because you're a girl, does not mean you can't fight

You and Tom probably tag team the person for doubting you

Tom and you don't use the phrase "one of the boys" rarely, if ever because you're truly best friends who are comfortable

He and you are assholes when making snarky comments

You guys are just alike that people need to be careful on what they say because you can make a joke or comment out of everything

You and Tom can't stop, it physically pains you both so much

He eggs you on when you make comments on stage or in interviews

He even joins in and you both can make someone cry, not that you mean to

He legit has to beg you to get him out of a situation by making a fool of yourself

You don't care what people think and would do it for free but you just wanna see him suffer

Georg Listing

Georg does not give a shit what you wear around him

Also doesn't blink twice when you walk in exposed in barely anything

He just says hi and goes about his day

You guys make up snarky comments to add to your collection like the assholes you guys are

Arguments between you two get so back but you somehow end up being best friends again the next hour

You have a confusing, funny and asshole-y relationship

You guys are the duo to be absolutely ruthless to each other

You say what's on his mind every single time you open his mouth

Will elbow you but is secretly laughing behind his hand

Loves seeing the faces people make out of surprise at your comments

He is also egging you on so much

He just enjoys the show you put on entirely

You say everything and anything and he just shrugs and goes along with it

You could say something horrid and he's like

"Damn. Why's that kinda true though?"

You act so open, shameless and comfortable around him he also often forgets you are not his sibling, much less a guy

He finds it weird to see you act like a actual woman

"Who the fuck are you and where's (Name)?"

"It's me, Georg."

"No, it's not. (Name) dresses like a homeless person, you have more than a shirt on. Can't fool me."

Don't try him because he will actually have a whole ass wrestling match with you

You guys are throwing punches, kicking, the whole nine yards over some bullshit

Gustav Schäfer

You say what's on his mind every single day of your life

He whispers you what to say when he can't and just laughs when you do

Gives you at least a shirt to put on when you wander around in underwear

He's comfortable around you but he doesn't want some creep that sneaks around to see or get pictures of you like that

You guys make fun of people so much that Gustav and you can't help but make comments

You guys look like the kind duo but are actually ruthless

He loves that you don't care what people think about you when you say shit

He admires that and is always supporting you when you do

You're very chaktic but he's there for the ride

Doesn't hold you back from your comments and is just standing there and agreeing with you

Gets you the dirt on people to use in your insults 100%

You guys are my favorite duo I gotta say

Laughs when you make a fool outta yourself on purpose

He doesn't have you save him by making a fool out of yourself

He also doesn't care what people think

He also says comments and is shameless about speaking his mind

He has strong emotions and does not conceal them and will say whatever with you

You guys can go on a whole rant for hours about insults and the person your insulting is just staring at you guys

[hajima-7]

yknow im being even more annoying with this on twitter, but it rly RLY pisses me off how a lot of, seemingly new, fans are trying to hype up bioware as like a .. gotcha at larian

"oh i hope at least THEY wont fuck up their only black companion"

"i hope THEY won't pander to the fans so much"

bby, idk how to tell you, bioware invented this shit. they had Gaider who's answer to "is fenris a person of color" was "im not giving ppl fodder for this wankery, interpret it as you like" ...

and also just...Jacob in mass effect

THE ENTIRE "COUNCIL" who's feedback they will listen as theyre developing the game like...

lets be real here for a sec, they both suck equally. and bioware sucked first lmao.

tl;dr stop simping so much for companies pls

peace & love <3

[empty-dream]

Just watched Kaiju no. 8

This anime answers the long-standing questions: Who does clean the damage and bodies after a major kaiju attack?

Damn I really thought the story is about battles through a mere janitor's POV. The view that the heroes aren't just the fighters but also those who do the clean up is interesting (and true). He ends up becoming an action guy though.

Ngl the reasons why I watch this are just two: OneRepublic out of nowhere singing an anime credit and a friend laughing nonstop watching this in a 3-hour train trip.

My brain: Isn't the name Kafka too specific, philosophical and heavy for a comical and heroic main character like this guy? *several eternity later* My brain: Oh.

Alas, a 30-something main protagonist! The wisedom of a 30s middle class worker >>>. Also his personality is so magnetic and a surefire way to make friends.

I really like Kafka and Reno's relationship, they are shining example of great senpai-kohai team. Even tho Reno looks like aloof white haired anime boy at first, turns out he is just polite and an extremely loyal person to boot. Him being a worrywart perfectly compliment Kafka's carefree nature.

To be honest all the character who look like troublesome brats end up being so lovable.

Kafka can't go 1 second without mentioning Mina. Like, ever. Man is down bad. Can't blame him tho. Also classic example of gossips travel through the walls of office buildings.

Hoshina is the realest lmao I too would hire Kafka as a comedian.

I like the kaiju biology. I'm not exactly a big fan of kaiju shows, but I enjoy the varieties of them in this show.

God I hate No.9 so much. Something about it/him? just pisses me off, like an itch that I can't scratch.

Season 2 when ughhhhh

TL;DR in today's perspective, this is like an early 1990s millenial befriending a bunch of 2000s gen Zs who'd do anything to bail him out of jail.

[axelberry]

Greetings! I would like to ask-

Please list some of your favorite Wordgirl fan-fictions / fan-projects (feel free to infodump about them as well >:3) AND / OR give us some of your Wordgirl headcanons!

HEHEEHEHE I WOULD LOVE TO ANSWER

Fan projects:

DEFINITELY wordgirl rewrired

Fanfics:

“Saving Tobey” & “it’s time to go home” by Night_N_Gail

“The doctor is in” by otempora16 on A03

Headcanons:

Becky fucking hates golf because she can’t manage to hit the ball gently enough

Tobey is going to therapy

Becky and Tobey play Minecraft together and Tobey makes super complex redstone mechanisms in the first 20 minutes

Tobey after being confirmed Becky is wordgirl starts calling her “wordgirl” when she’s Becky and “Becky” when she’s wordgirl

Mr big invests too much money on height advancing gadgets

Steven boxleither likes pineapple on pizza

Steven boxleither saw wordgirl as a daughter

Whenever Dr two brains wakes up he comments on how much his head hurts “oh god I feel like I just got hit with 20 monster trucks”

Two brains is often mistaken for a high schooler by school bus drivers and he has to constantly explain he’s a grown man

Less of a headcanon but more of a belief, besides Sally and tim botsford and mrs. McCallister I refuse to believe the rest of the cast isn’t some sort of fruity

Dr two brains WILL over power the mouse brain eventually (Plewse Plewse please)

Steven boxleither has bright blue eyes that stared into your soul

Tobey, Becky, dr two brains are all autistic

Tobey is a Demi boy, straight?(he hasn’t ever developed feelings for anyone other then wordgirl)

Becky is biromatic!

Dr two brains is either bisexual or Pan or gay I haven’t decided, he’s also a transgender man because I said so

Chuck and dr two brains are so together or at least dated once.

Before Steven became dr two brains he was with Amazo guy (thank @djsadbean for this headcanon I adopted)

Becky as she gets older gets stronger, a bit too strong and also finally learns the art of lying

Tobey is often bullied online as he kinda deserves (this is credited to my friend who kept play bullying me while I had a Tobey Minecraft skin on)

Tobey really really like golf and made a wordgirl themed golf course

Tobey likes to use BRAINROT to piss off Becky “oh Becky botsford wouldn’t you agree that I’m the most sigma alpha skibib male you’ve ever laid eyes on?”

Miss power killed amazo guy.

[boosaot]

Guess who finally kicked their ass into gear and it watching "Army of the Doomstar"

(vv Spoilers cuz I'm legit yapping about the whole movie vv)

LONG post warning

Dude Toki is looking ROUGH

How about we un-shift gears and mind our damn business

NAW Toki's lil sad noise after Skwis refused his hug :(

Nathan's goin thru it jeez- IN THE MEDICAL WARD CUZ OF PTSD DAMN

Intro got me groovin'

Am I crazy or did the quality of animation get a lot better?

Murderface,,, Time and Place dude,,

THEYRE LIKE CHILDREN IM HOLLERING WHY IS TOKI LICKING THE FUCKING PEW IM ACTUALLY TEARING UP HOLY SHIT

!!Get off of me don't touch Skwigsaar!!

Pickles exhausted mom core

What an entrance Nathan "Uhh-Hi. Sorry. I'm on Xanax"

SORRY WHAT- Xan, Red Wine AND COFFEE brother is OUT OF IT

"fuck off."

Charles,, brother,, this man is not hearing a WORD you just said

IM OGING TO THROW UP FROM LAUGHING TOO MUCH

Marriage wont fix your trauma bestie- NATHAN PLEASE STAND UP

TAKE A LAP AROUFN THE BLOCK THINK ABOUT IT I- EHERHAHA

Nathan is just embarrassing the both of them in front of EVERYONE

IM- "There's no way this day could get any worse" "Please Welcome Dr. Rockzo, The Rock n' Roll Clown"

Someone kill this fuck-ass clown PLEASE his ass is OUT OF TUNE

Someone grab another pair of noise canceling headphones STAT

BRO YOU ARENT EVEN USING THEM PASS 'EM OVER

This has got to be a wild sight for Nathan bro is out of it

Fire cum is a new one,,, thank you for that Murderface

that was a bit excessive,, (actually startled me ngl)

hehaahEHAHA KNUBBLER YOU FUCKING LOSER (affectionate) looks so goofy fallin down the stairs

lol Toki quickly taking his feet out at MF pissing in their water supply (either cuz MF is literally pissing in the water or he himself didn't know he was putting his feet in their water supply,, either way, cute)

"Fuckers will be dying and shit" so real babe

Their hair wavin' in the wind so pretty

Sister Sunshine Rainbow Marshmallow Toki realness

:( this just make me sad bruh poor Murderface :(

THE WAY THEY JUST LET PICKLES FALL ON THE GROUND

Knubbler's losing it,, man,, that was good food too

Awe Toki's lil cheering while Nathan's climb

OKAY Animation I see you (Drugs ftw I guess)

SHOWTIME BAEBEYY

The ANIMATION WRAAA I am eating it (it looks so good)

Well as good of a song as this is,,, I HIGHLY doubt its the right one,, judging from all the death,, and non-salvation happening

GET UR ASS UP BITCH HEY YOUY BLOND FUCK GET TF UP HEY

nah im sure hes fine but still WAKE UP BESTIE (konked tf out)

BRO- Murderface the poor dude wtf man,,

damn R.I.P Knubbler u were a real one

IS HE PLAYING THE GUITAR PASSED OUT I-

bro is looking scrumptious

wet cat skwisgaar pt.2

he looks so baby right here whatthefuck

There was no way to convey this scene through text that would do it justice so here (The lil "uh-ow what the fuck ow" HAD ME CACKLING)

*claps*

Nathan you queer (<3)

even just the intro to the song is so fucking good dude )the lil "bwow-u-woung" noise from the guitar mnyamnyamnyam saur good)

Pickles is going insane on the drums

Salacia how about you go suck a bag of dicks

I wheezed (me too buddy)

They're on some gay shit rn (good for them)

Thousand yard stare

awe Toki

SKWISGAAR YOU CUNT IM HEHEHAHEHEEHAH

AYY fat kid survived the cats good for him

Hip jut out ok sass

LETS GOOOOO

WHALE GOD MVP

fellas... (Skwisgaar so princess loser here)

Nathen realizing the fans are the Army of the Doomstar is so fuckign funny (his lil "Holy Shit"s r so funny)

awe proud dad smile

-

That was such a good movie,,, holy fuckin shit,,

"chirp"

[dollboyshifter]

things im excited for - criminal minds dr

doing my first case with the bau. i'm meek and shy and overly polite and everyone is worried about me being a member of the team until there's a child in danger and i rush in, bullets flying, running in heels to grab the child and run. immediately everyone realises i was never unskilled, just not confident

going shopping with garcia

babysitting jack and henry

bau movie nights especially when i pick the movie. can you imagine rossi and hotch discussing the themes in promare? i can.

meeting the great agent gideon that i've heard so much about and he's a jackass. eventually he says something that pisses me off and i tell him just as much, causing him to proclaim that he likes me and that i'm a good asset to the team.

in season 6 when i've fully settled into the team and have gone from shy nerd to femme fatale and spencer realises that i'm not just objectively attractive from a scientific standpoint, i'm super fucking hot and he's into me

actually getting together with spence and having a fun little secret relationship for a few months before we get outed to the team

anything involving spencer protecting or defending me. alexa play olivia rodrigo prison for life

piggybacking off the last statement THAT ONE S11 EPISODE WHERE THE HITMAN IS KILLING HIS FORMER VICTIMS. WHEN THEY ALL DUCK BEHIND THE CAR TO AVOID THE GRENADE. I CAN JUST IMAGINE HIM INSTINCTIVELY SHIELDING ME <33

rossi walking me down the aisle, jack as the ring bearer and henry as the flower boy

meeting luke and watching him put together that spencer and i are married (we don't wear our rings in the field, and just bc two people have wedding rings doesn't mean they're married to each other).

luke helping us pull the same stunt on matt (not telling him and letting him figure it out)

eventually adopting with spence <3

being on the computer in my waiting room and seeing all the fan edits and posts about me

[merryfortune]

full spectre event finale thoughts thread

i genuinely cried during the finale

spoilers abound under the cut

Tiny tot Spectre!!!!!! He is so precious!!!!!! A cutie patootie a babbu

But Spectre being able to return to where he belongs, even briefly, made me so happy, I'm so happy for him!!!!!

Ok a little heart-breaking, I remember you, I care about you but I know I don't count since there's no player avatar in duel links but please remember cross duel, you were my biggest weakness!!! But ok cool recapping what we know about how memories criss-cross with ressurection and stuff like that in duel links

WE LOVE A KING WITH SELF CONFIDENCE AND HIGH SELF ESTEEM

This was so moe of Spectre................................. i love him, life may not be a fairy tale for him but consider. it is and he is cinderella.

But, more importantly, this is confirmation that he is still searching for Earth. He is *wishing* for Earth. I am over the moon but in a bittersweet way.

I can finally forgive Duel Links for SB stealing Playmaker's spotlight as Spectre's narrative foil but this is to enhance and create a parallel to them both with Ai and Flame with their partnerships. He is so envious of them in that regard my word.

I've seen speculation from Japanese players that this could also be referring to a possible Dr Kogami ressurection and honestly? since it'll piss off a lot of western fans, I am on their side. A Dr kogami appearance would slap. But even aside from that interpretation more Ignis speculation my beloved.

the one soulburner screenshot lmao but here is what had me crying. I have had this exact sentiment yelled at me as a teen and its a contributing factor to why I latched onto Spectre so hard. Seeing a character who is so joyfully against the grain, is a freak, it means so much to me. I genuinely felt so *seen* by this line but I am worried that I am assuming malice here other people are not. like everyone wants to coddle sb and that's fine/understandable but spectre deserves to have his spotlight and to air his feelings on the trauma he's experienced. like i don't want to pull the bad victim/good victim dichotomy card here but its tempting

Oops I didn't grab screenshots of Revolver's dramatic entrance. Loved it by the way! I think its very funny that he gave Spectre a solemm scoleding for going too far and that Spectre genuinely knocks it off afterwards. It gives us a hint to whether or not Spectre knows if Revolver was the whistleblower, how they function interpersonally despite their diametrically opposing views on the incident. Excellent stuff.

boyfriends..................... the master and servant dynamic...... foaming at the mouth I froth....................... their conflicting feelings o the ignis. i hope we get earth so bad

thread end

this finale was 99.9% perfect for me, the remaining 0.01% would have been if Earth had been name dropped. Let's see where the story picks up next year with Akira. Looking forward to 100%'ing the rerun event too

Edit: crying again because I thought too hard about how Spectre would never betray Revolver and how ryoken gave him a home 😭

[generic-sonic-fan]

Team Dark Week: Creation

Summary: After seeing some of the files regarding Shadow’s creation, Omega has something of his own to reveal. For @teamdarkweek.

1890 words, no content warnings

---

“A loud Omega is normal. A quiet Omega is a cause for great concern,” Rouge said as she filed her nails.

“You’re right. He hasn’t been acting like himself since viewing the files.”

“Yeah.”

“He thinks of me differently now, doesn’t he?”

Rouge looked up. “I wouldn’t think so. Why would he care about how you were born?”

“Created.” Shadow corrected. 

“Still. I don’t get how reading The Professor getting all weepy and emotional about you would piss him off. Unless his hatred of Robotniks is generational.”

“I shouldn’t have shown it.”

“Hey, look at me.” Rouge grabbed his hand. “You showed us for a reason. A damn good reason. Let me go talk to him, he might just be pissy about something stupid that’s entirely unrelated.”

“I doubt that.”

Rouge finished filing the nail she was on, before leaving the filing board on the countertop and disappearing into the hallway. She returned with Omega behind her. 

“So what’s got you all snippy, hmm?” She asked him.

“I AM NOT ‘SNIPPY’.” 

“You haven’t said very much since we got back.”

“I REQUIRED TIME TO PROCESS THE INFORMATION SHADOW HAS GRANTED US.”

“Did it anger you?”

“NEGATIVE.”

Shadow and Rouge glanced at each other. 

“YOU SHARED THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR CREATION SO THAT WE MAY, QUOTE, ‘HELP YOU REMEMBER’.” 

“I did.” Shadow replied.

“WHY WOULD YOU WANT US TO SEE A TIME WHERE YOU FOOLISHLY DID NOT HATE YOUR CREATOR?” 

Shadow took a deep breath. “Because it’s part of who I am. His initial kindness to me and his reason for creating me are things I don’t wish to forget.”

Omega paused. Instead of saying anything more, he turned around and stomped back to his room.

—

At 10:00 PM, Omega yelled “TEAM MEETING.” 

Shadow opened his bedroom door to see Omega standing in the doorway of his own room. Rouge emerged from her room with her headphones around her neck.

“What’s up, Omega?” She asked.

“THERE IS SOMETHING,” Omega paused. His cooling fans whirred higher. “I WISH TO SHOW YOU.”

“Alright.” Shadow replied. 

Omega beckoned them into his room with his hand. It was strange to see him use a gesture instead of words. His room was bare, as usual, with the exception of his power cord and his desktop computer. A data cable snaked out of one of the computer’s ports. Shadow didn’t think Omega owned one, given his distaste for having his processor accessed. 

Omega took the data cable and plugged himself in. The screen’s nuclear explosion background was overtaken by the scrolling data of Omega’s processor. Segments of the data began aligning, until a video player formed on screen. 

“What are you going to show us?” Rouge asked.

“WATCH.”

---

REPLAYING MEMORY LOG _001. . .

---

“Isn’t it magnificent?”

Dr. Ivo Robotnik stood five feet forward, gesturing behind himself in front of two smaller robots, one yellow and one red. 

“Yes, it truly is, master!” The red one crooned.

“I don’t know, seems to be missing a chin, if you ask me.” The yellow one put his hand on his own mentioned appendage. 

“It doesn’t need a chin, you dolt!” Dr. Ivo Robotnik stepped forward and backhanded the faceplate of the yellow one.

The force of contact between the flesh of his hand and the metal of the yellow robot’s chassis was not enough to fracture any bones, but it was enough to burst small blood vessels close to the surface of his epidermis. This constituted an “injury”. It was forbidden for any Badnik to injure its creator. Such insolence must be punished immediately!

Unit E-123 marched forward and snatched the yellow robot by the throat. He quickly calculated that the position of his claws was ineffective for a target that did not require respiration. Unit E-123 had not been programmed to destroy robots beyond information on the basic tolerances of metal plating. He created a new folder in his programs and began compiling data for the possibility, before-

“Hahaha! No need, E-123. Put him down.”

Unit E-123 released his grasp, and the yellow robot fell to the ground before floating away at what he calculated to be the maximum speed it could achieve with its thrusters. The red robot also activated its thrusters and traveled a similar direction. 

“See that?” Dr. Ivo Robotnik came beside Unit E-123’s extended arm. “That lethality? That obedience? Truly I’ve outdone myself this time.”

Dr. Ivo Robotnik placed his gloved hand on Unit E-123’s arm and pressed downwards. Unit E-123 understood the implicit command and returned to a neutral position. He swiveled his head and tilted his optics up to observe Dr. Ivo Robotnik’s face. 

“I certainly solved the particular set of problems that bubbled up from the previous of its series!” Dr. Ivo Robotnik grinned. “Not to mention fit the most superior firepower of my entire army within a single chassis!”

Dr. Ivo Robotnik strolled around Unit E-123’s frame, scanning his eyes up and down. Unit E-123 followed with his optics. 

“Heh, respectful, too! Keeping eye contact, ready to receive any order. Although we’ll see how that changes when its short-term adaptive processing calibrates and we start getting some more intelligent thought up there. . .”

Dr. Ivo Robotnik turned and interfaced with the computer.

“Oh! Seems to have finished calibrating a few minutes ago. In that case,” Dr. Ivo Robotnik whirled around and clasped his hands together, “hello, my creation! Status report?”

“Systems fully operational.” Unit E-123 reported. He then considered his next words for longer. He was a magnificent, superior robot. He should not reply with a basic status report. That was unbefitting of his actual status, evidently!

“Good, good.”

“Status: superior.” E-123 elaborated further. 

“Ha, it even knows!” Dr. Ivo Robotnik said to the red and yellow robots cowering near the door. 

“Indeed,” the red one ventured forward the equivalent of one of Dr. Ivo Robotnik’s strides, “you are quite superior, Unit E-123! You will do the Empire proud.”

“You’re going to get Sonic real good.” The yellow one nodded as well. 

Unit E-123 fired all of its scanners- visual, audial, tactile, chemical, and chaos radiation -to search for any sign of Sonic upon his mention. He found none. The yellow robot must have been referring to the wretched enemy in the hypothetical, a possibility he had not considered before in verbal interactions until now. Unit E-123 noted this for future reference. 

“Ohohoh, if Sonic tries to interfere with the Subject, he’s going to be in for a nasty surprise.”

“This unit will eradicate him!” Unit E-123 affirmed.

“Yes! Yes, you will!”

“He will not withstand the firepower of this unit’s arsenal!”

“Why, you’ll blow him away! There won’t be even a smear of blue left on the wall once you’re done with him.”

“I WILL SHOW HIM MY SUPERIORITY!”

“Augh, not so loud, not so loud,” Dr. Ivo Robotnik lowered his hands from his ears. “While I love your enthusiasm, you’re going to damage my hearing.”

Unit E-123 lowered the volume settings of his voicebox, and to ensure that he would never make such a mistake again, he knit together a program that would create a warning message should he ever be tempted to raise the volume high enough to damage Dr. Ivo Robotnik’s hearing. He patched it over the software that interfaced with his voicebox. 

“Now, speaking of hearing loss, allow me to grab my earmuffs and we’ll head out to the firing range to see how you do.”

Dr. Ivo Robotnik walked to the nearest counter and began searching the drawers, grumbling the phrase “now where did I put them?” as he did so. 

“Drawer label #12, beneath one layer of processed wood pulp.” Unit E-123 pointed to where his scanners had identified the location. 

Dr. Ivo Robotnik opened the identified drawer and retrieved the personal protective equipment. He then smiled back in the direction of Unit E-123. “Well aren’t you just perfect!”

“Affirmative, I am.”

But instead of affirming, Dr. Ivo Robotnik frowned. “Let’s correct that little slippage before it starts to become a problem. You are to refer to yourself as ‘this unit’.”

“Affirmative.”

“‘Affirmative, Master.’”

“Affirmative, Master.”

“Good!” 

---

END OF MEMORY LOG _001

---

Omega unplugged himself from the computer and the video disappeared from the screen.

Shadow was the first to speak. “I have never seen the doctor behave that way.”

“YOU ARE NOT TO SHARE THIS INFORMATION. IF YOU DIVULGE ANY INFORMATION PERTAINING TO THIS MEMORY LOG TO ANOTHER INDIVIDUAL, I WILL KILL YOU.”

“We won’t tell. Of course we won’t tell.” Rouge patted Omega’s forearm. “Your secret’s safe with us.”

“GOOD. COMMENCING DELETION PROCESS. . .”

“Hey, wait a minute. You’re not deleting that, are you?” Rouge said.

“NOW THAT YOU HAVE WITNESSED THE FILE, YOU WILL ‘HELP ME REMEMBER’. STORAGE OF THE FILE IS NOW UNNECESSARY.”

“”That’s not-” Shadow balled his fists.

“Omega, you can’t just delete your own memory.” Rouge said.

“HOW DO YOU INTEND TO STOP ME?”

“I’m not going to stop you- I’m just going to tell you that you really shouldn’t do it.”

“YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS TO ARTICULATE YOUR ARGUMENT.”

“Because it’s part of who you are. You can’t just run away from the bad things that have happened to you. Deleting this is just going to bite you in the ass later when you get the feeling you’re forgetting something you really should remember.”

“THERE IS NO VALUE TO REMEMBERING THIS REVOLTING EXCHANGE.”

“Well sure, you could hate the man without really knowing him, but remembering a time when he wasn’t a complete self-serving fool helps you hate him even more.”

“YOUR ARGUMENT IS FALSE! MY HATRED FOR EGGMAN WILL NOT BE AFFECTED!”

Shadow stepped in. “Keeping this memory will remind you how far you’ve come.”

“Yeah, you were able to get around all of the fawning the doctor programmed you with! That says more about how strong you are than almost anything else.”

“MY KILL COUNT BEGS TO DIFFER.”

“Strong internally,” Rouge flew up and knocked on his head plating, “which is not something a lot of people could say about themselves.”

Shadow met Omega's optics, stared at the flicker of intelligence behind the glass. “I couldn’t have done what you did.”

Rouge landed. “Hey, knock that off.”

“It’s the truth.”

“YOU DEFIED THE INTENT OF YOUR CREATOR ABOARD THE SPACE STATION ARK.”

“I had Maria.” The room went silent as he said her name, as it always did. “I couldn’t have done it without my memory of her. You had no one but yourself.”

Omega’s frame went still, and his optics defocused. 

“That makes you stronger than I am.” Shadow finished.

Rouge came beside Shadow, waiting and watching for Omega’s next response. She parted, however, when Omega abruptly walked towards the door of his room. 

Before he left, he turned his head over his shoulder. “I AM GOING TO THE TARGETING RANGE.”

“They’re probably closed by now.” Rouge replied.

“THEY WILL NOT BE CLOSED IF THEY WISH TO KEEP THEIR SPINES INTACT.”

“They probably aren’t closed, then.” She snickered. “Let me get dressed and I’ll come with.”

“NEGATIVE.”

“Think about what I’ve said.” Shadow crossed his arms. 

“I WILL NOT COMMENCE THE DELETION TONIGHT.” 

He left. Shadow followed him out into the hall and watched as he shut the apartment door behind him. 

“Do you think he was lying?” Rouge said.

“He trusts us.”

"Seems he does.”

[charmcoin]

not a wrestling person but very curious abt what’s wrong with wwe. tell me abt the community discourse.

this is honestly a very difficult question to answer succinctly because there is a LOT that plays into the current public perception of wwe but i also think i should preface this by saying i personally don't have any beef with wwe and i like a lot of the talent that wrestles there! i just don't prefer their style of production which is why i watch aew regularly and would be sad if my favorite wrestlers signed with wwe. THAT BEING SAID

the two major wrestling promotions in the united states are wwe and aew. aew is a MUCH smaller promotion in comparison, it started in 2019 and very much markets itself as being by wrestling fans for wrestling fans whereas i feel wwe casts a wider net and tries to market itself to the public at large.

wwe Has seen competition in the past, namely by wcw in the late 90s during a period termed the "monday night wars" where both companies had shows (raw vs nitro) which aired at the same time on monday nights. both companies had different approaches to storytelling and different wrestlers, and people frequently compared how each program did on the day's television rankings to measure how their favorite company was doing. at the end of the day wcw failed, got bought out by wwe, and lived on as a separate brand for a couple years before being shuttered entirely in 2001.

when aew emerged in 2019, it was the first real competition wwe had seen in ~20 years, so a lot of people picked sides. some people are super loyal to one company over the other, and if a wrestler they like signs to the other company they get pissed off about it for a variety of reasons. wwe has come under fire in recent years because vince mcmahon (head of the company since forever) is a known sex pest who treats his workers like shit and aew has come under fire for continuing to employ sex pest trump supporters and for having an incompetent owner who can't manage his employees.

TL;DR it's a LOT of corporate politics for the most part and picking sides has been part of wrestling for forever. there are issues with how both companies are managed imo, but at the end of the day for me personally it comes down to personal preference. i just like aew better! And theyhave all my special guys so if i couldn't see them anymore i would get sad

[snelbz]

Better Or Worse {Chapter Five}

Nessian. Angst. Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

Better or Worse Masterlist

Cassian —

True to my word, I’ve continued to sleep in Feyre and Rhysand’s basement. Now that it’s Monday, I have my bags in the backseat of my truck as I drive to this damn counseling session. As long as this doesn’t completely blow up in my face, I’ll be going back home with Nesta. 

I was surprised when she showed up at Feyre and Rhys’s, begging me to come home, to go to marriage counseling. A year ago, even months ago, I would’ve agreed to marriage counseling without any hesitation. But I meant what I’d said. I’m tired, and I’m past trying. 

At least that’s what I keep telling myself, but yet I’m here, pulling into the parking lot of some fancy little office on the far end of town. 

Nesta’s already here.

I see her car parked right next to the door. She’s still inside, but her car is off, and I find myself wondering if she’s just as nervous and unsure as I am about this whole ordeal.

After cutting the engine, I grab my wallet out of the cup holder and make my way to Nesta’s car. At first, she doesn’t see me, so I knock on her window and make her jump. She greets me with a scowl. 

Even when she’s mad, even when I’m pissed at her, she’s gorgeous.

“Come on,” I say, as she throws open her door. “We’re about to be late.”

I turn and walk towards the front door of the office building, knowing she’ll be a step behind me. Sure enough, I hear the clipping of her high heels on the pavement a second later. “I’ve been here since 9:45. You’re the one showing up one minute until ten.”

“You said our appointment was at ten,” I said, opening the door and holding it open for her. “So I’m here at ten.”

She glared at me as she walked into the building, but the waiting room was not a conducive place for the type of conversation we were prone to having recently, so she let it drop.

For now.

She headed right for the young woman at the receptionist’s desk, leaving me at the door, giving me a minute to appreciate her. The sweater she wore was loose and baggy, hiding her full breasts, but it was tucked into a pencil skirt that showed off her round ass. It was made of lace, with a shorter skirt beneath, showing off her long, toned legs.It was the kind of obscene balance that Nesta brought to everything in life.

I could barely tear my eyes off her ass, off those legs that hadn’t been wrapped around my waist in far too long, but once I did, I noticed the sweater was an old one of mine.

A knot of emotion caught in my throat that I cleared away before joining my wife.

“Dr. Berdara will be with you shortly, if you’d like to take a seat.”

Nesta gave a curt nod and swiveled to a set of chairs by the window. I quietly followed after a kind smile toward the receptionist. 

Nesta and I sat in silence for five awkward minutes before a door opened and our names were called. The therapist was around our age, maybe a year or two younger, which I thought was strange. Surely she had never been married, and if she had, she couldn’t have been married long enough to know all of the answers.

She seemed nice enough though.

Her and Nesta made small talk as they walked ahead of me down the long hallway and into an office overlooking the parking lot.

She gestured to a small leather couch for us to sit on opposite of her desk, which we did before she sat herself and smiled.

“It’s so nice to meet the two of you,” she said, sweetly. “I’m Gwyn.”

Wants us to call her by her first name? Another red flag.

“Not a fan of going by your title, Doc?” I asked, and I admit that my hostility may have been showing a little too much. I can practically feel Nesta’s eyes on me.

“I prefer a more casual approach when I’m first meeting new clients,” she explained. “Start us all out on even ground, rather than anyone above the other.”

Before I could reply, Nesta jumped in. “I think that’s a wonderful way to start out. I’m Nesta.”

The two of them looked at me, waiting. I started drumming my fingers on the arm of the couch. “And I’m Cassian.”

“As I said, it’s wonderful to meet you both.” Gwyn gave us another sparkling smile. “Cassian, why don’t you fill me in on why you two are here today?”

My fingers froze. “Why me?”

“Because Nesta made the appointment,” she said, nodding to my wife. At the same time, she nonchalantly flipped open a notebook and reached for a pen. “So since she took the first step by reaching out, I’d like to hear from you.”

“Pretty sure I took the first step when I told her I wanted a divorce,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest. I can feel her go rigid next to me.

Gwyn jots something down in her notebook, either oblivious to the tension between us or used to the uncomfortable situation thanks to her line of work. 

“And what led you to that point?” She pushed, her voice gentle, which only makes me more agitated. “What made you ask her for a divorce?”

Alright. I guess we’re jumping right into this fucking train wreck.

“Nesta stopped caring about our marriage,” I answer, shrugging. “So now I have, too.”

“I didn’t stop caring,” Nesta snaps.

Gwyn gives her a smile. “You’ll have your time to respond, but let’s let Cassian finish.”

Well, shit. Maybe I don’t hate her.

Gwyn turns back to me. “What makes you think that she’s stopped caring?”

“In the last year, we’ve barely spoken to one another. We’ve barely spent any time together. When we do talk, it’s about bills or our schedules or her work, which I think is great, she’s great at what she does, but we don’t need to be constantly talking about deadlines and edits. Every time we’re in the same room together, she gets annoyed and snappy. Every time I ask her for a night off, where we can just be together, she refuses.”

Gwyn nods thoughtfully. “So you feel the root of your issues lies in her work?”

“I think she’s addicted to her work. It’s clear she cares more about it than she does me,” I answer honestly. “She definitely puts more work into her career than she ever has in our marriage.”

Anger is radiating off of Nesta, but she doesn’t say a word. 

“I hear you.” Gwyn writes something else down. “How long have the two of you been married?”

“A little over nine years.” Nesta worked on the night of our anniversary, but I don’t bring that up.

“And your issues just began a year ago?” Gwyn asks.

I hesitate. “I guess I don’t really know exactly when our issues started, but about then, yeah.”

“This may seem like an obvious question, but I’d like as much background as you're willing to offer.” She folds her hands over one another on her desk and looks between us. “Did anything happen around the time things changed? Was there a catalyst or an incident that led to what you both see as a deterioration in your marriage?”

Before I can even decide how much I want to divulge, seeing as I met this woman less than five minutes ago, Nesta answers for us both. “No, nothing.”

And then Gwyn is writing again. “No infidelity or skeletons in closets that came to light?”

When I look over at Nesta, I find her eyes already on me, her gaze pleading.

I wanted to be pissed that our marriage counselor was almost accusing me of cheating on my wife, despite knowing she was asking an innocent question. I wanted to be pissed that Nesta had lied to her face, despite being the one who suggested we come here to work on our issues. This was where she’d finally open up about what had happened that night, when our world had gone dark, after pleading with her so long to just talk to me.

But it wouldn’t be today. Nesta wasn’t ready, the panic in her eyes was evident enough.

I turned back to Gwyn just as she looked up from her notebook and lied, just like Nesta had. “No cheating. No skeletons. Nothing happened.”

Gwyn looked back and forth between us, skeptically, but nodded. “Alright. Well, finding a turning point is a crucial part of this process, so let’s start from the beginning. How did the two of you meet?”

“Freshman year of college,” Nesta says, and I don’t care that she’s suddenly taken control of the conversation.

“And you started dating?”

Nesta nods.

“And what was it that drew you to Cassian?”

The question throws me off guard and I hate how much I want to hear the answer.

Nesta clears his throat. “He was…wild. Confident. Sarcastic. And frustrating as hell.”

Gwyn smiled. “And you found that attractive?”

“I found him intriguing,” Nesta said, wistfully. “He could piss me off and make me swoon within a matter of seconds. I’d say that it was his passion that drew me to him, at first.” 

“And Cassian?” Gwyn asks. “What drew you to Nesta?”

I stare at my outstretched feet. “She challenged me. Captivated me. I was used to dating…girls with low self esteem who just wanted me to prove that they could have me, but Nesta was smart. Confident, too. I don’t know. I guess that I liked that she was different.” 

“Different how?”

It was a much more difficult question to answer than I would have thought. Not because I didn’t have an answer, but because it was hard to put it into words. “She pushed me. She made me dig deeper. There was substance, not just a pretty face, she helped me grow, I guess.” 

Nesta sits silently beside me, staring at her hands, and I tried not to notice that her eyes line with tears. 

“And when did you get married?” Gwyn asks, still watching me.

“A little over a year later. We married young. Both just turned twenty.”

“And did anyone oppose your marriage? Considering you were both so young.”

“My father,” Nesta answers, quietly, “but we’ve never had a great relationship so I didn’t really care what he thought. He came around afterwards.” 

She didn’t mention that he died a few years ago, but I can hear the pain in her voice as I often do when she talks about her dad, although rare. 

“Tell me about your wedding day.”

“It was small,” Nesta says, and it nearly sounds like she’s smiling, although her face remains neutral. “Just our closest friends, and my sisters. Our friend Rhys got ordained online and married us on the beach.” Unable to help myself, I chuckle. Rhys was the worst officiant of all time. He was drunk, which did make the awful speech he had concocted a little bit better. “I wore a dress that I found online for thirty dollars and we were barefoot. It was nice.”

She made that thirty dollar dress look a million bucks. I still remember exactly how she looked, with her hair braided like a crown around her head. I remember how I felt. It had been the best day of my life and I couldn’t believe that I was so lucky to marry someone I was so in love with, my best friend.

“You look lost in thought. What are you thinking?”

It takes me a second to realize that she’s talking to me. Nesta is watching me, expectantly. I clear my throat. “It was a good day.”

I’ve somehow said the right thing and the wrong thing, all at the same time. Gwyn gives me a smile and looks poised to jump onto her next question when Nesta speaks. “That’s it?”

I don’t respond immediately and neither does Gwyn, which leads me to believe she’s going to let this one play out, rather than intervene.

Thanks, Doc.

I turn towards her, unsurprised to find her eyes already on me, storm clouds brewing within. “I said it was a good day, Nes.”

“But that’s all you have to say? It was a good day?” She genuinely looks offended and my short fuse is getting incrementally shorter by the minute. “Meeting your brothers for a drink after work is a good day. When you find a twenty on the street, it’s a good day. And all you have to say is that it was a good day?”

My jaw locks and my fingers flex. “What do you want me to say?”

Pure rage flashes across her eyes. “I want you to say something meaningful.”

Something meaningful. Jokes on her. She’s the one that hasn’t said something meaningful in months, years, who can’t recall how to have a meaningful conversation if her life depended on it. I take a deep breath, then another. Those deep breaths are the only thing keeping me stable, keeping me grounded. “Something meaningful?” I repeat. 

“Yes,” she snaps.

Gwyn remains quiet.

My lips snap shut and I bristle, eyes planted on a pen sitting on Gwyn’s desk. “This is stupid.”

“It’s not stupid.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Just talk, Cassian!”

My eyes snap to hers, and the second we make eye contact, I’m gone. I can see the emotion, the rage and sadness and hope, and that’s rare for Nesta. Especially lately. Lately, I’ve barely gotten anything from her, but now…she’s listening. She’s waiting. She’s hopeful.

“You want to talk about our wedding day?”

“Yes.” A tear falls down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away.

“The day I married you was the best fucking day of my life,” I say, looking away from her. “I loved you, Nesta. You were so damn beautiful, walking towards me with that overpriced bouquet. I had no doubt that you were the woman I was supposed to marry. All I wanted was you. I didn’t give a fuck when or where I married you. All I cared about was that you were mine. I meant every word I said in our vows. I’ll always love you, always protect you, always be there for you…” I shake my head. “I meant my vows, Nesta. But your vows were shit. Over the last year, you’ve proven that you didn’t mean a damn word you said that day.”

The room is silent, save for the occasional sniffle from my wife. She doesn’t respond and I’m sure as hell done talking for now.

Gwyn lightly taps the end of her pen against her notepad. “Can you tell me what you mean by that, Cassian?”

“I mean she hasn’t stood behind her vows, the promises we made to each other.” My voice is quiet now, all anger sapped from me as Nesta dabs at her eyes with tissue she produced from somewhere. I’m just tired now.

Reading through her notes, Gwyn says, “You’ve told me there’s been no infidelity, so in what way do you feel that Nesta hasn’t upheld her vows?”

“She’s never there.” I hate explaining this. It’s the same shit I’ve explained to my brothers for the past six months and nothing ever changes. “It’s like I don’t exist. All that matters is her books and her deadlines. She doesn’t put any effort into our marriage or even into our relationship.”

Nesta is noticeably silent now. Good.

Gwyn pushes. “Nesta, would you like to respond to that?”

Angrily, she swipes at a tear. “My books are my livelihood.”

“And you were my whole life.”

I don’t realize I’ve spoken the words aloud until both Gwyn and Nesta look at me.

I sigh, rubbing at my temples. Trying to move past the fact that I’m letting feelings I want to suppress out, I say, “Look, I’m proud of Nesta. Okay? She’s a damn good writer, and she’s living her dream. I get that. But since her career has taken off, she’s either working or stressed, and wants nothing to do with me, because I’m just another thing on her plate that’s already overflowing.”

Nesta doesn’t bother saying that I’m wrong.

“So you’re saying that Nesta needs to focus more on you,” Gwyn says.

“I’m saying that as long as she’s too busy working, our marriage is nonexistent.” Gods, I didn’t even want to come and now I can’t shut up. I lock my jaw and stare at my hands.

I feel Nesta looking at me but I don’t care to look back at the moment. 

“And how do you feel about what Cassian has said, Nesta?”

My wife is quiet for a moment, then she says, “I don’t know.”

I scoff and Nesta glares at me, but Gwyn is patient. “Do you not know, or are you unsure how to put your emotions into words?” 

Nesta shrugs, and I know she’s frustrated but I can’t find it in me to care much. “I guess I didn’t realize I was working so much, at first, but now I’m just used to it. I’m used to waking up and working until I go to bed. Ignoring Cassian was not my intention, I just wanted to be successful.”

“And now it’s a habit?” Gwyn asks.

Nesta nods.

“Would you say that you’re addicted to your work?”

Nesta hesitates. “I guess so. I guess it’s all I think about, yes.”

“Do you still enjoy being an author?” Gwyn asks, and I find myself intrigued by this question. For the first time in a while, I look at Nesta.

She’s staring at her wedding rings. “I don’t know. I love to write, but it definitely feels more like a chore than it ever has before. I don’t like the editing process. And sometimes I’m so stressed that I have writer's block and I go insane trying to write anything worthwhile, only for it to get torn apart during editing. My deadlines are getting closer and closer together and I struggle to meet them, because I’m always so stressed. And I know it affects Cassian. Then I feel guilty, but if I’m being honest, that guilt just makes me more stressed and withdrawn and frustrated and miserable to be around.”

The words rush out of her; her eyes never leave her rings.

“There may be a conversation that needs to be had with your publisher about the amount of work your putting out,” Gwyn muses, never one to give orders, just suggestions. “But as of right now, Nesta, I want you to think about how you used to balance work and your time with Cassian before. We’re nearly out of time today, but I want that to be what you consider until we meet again. Cassian, I want you to think about the amount of work Nesta does and how you can help.” I immediately want to protest that I know little about the written word, not like Nesta does, but she shakes her head. “I don’t mean in a literal sense, but to alleviate her stress. How can you help?”

I nodded. If we were here, I was willing to try.

“I want you two to go on a date before our next session.”

I blink at her, not sure that I’ve heard her right. “A date?”

“Yes,” she replies, closing her notepad and smiling at us both. Nesta’s expression is as confused as mine. “Dinner, maybe a movie or some dancing, the activity doesn’t matter. As long as the two of you spend uninterrupted time together, without work or deadlines, cell phones or emails, that’s our goal.”

Uninterrupted time with my wife.

The idea terrified me.

I hesitate, but it’s Nesta that says, “Okay.”

I don’t know why I’m so shocked by this, by her quick acceptance, considering this was all her idea, but I am. I’ve been trying to spend alone time with her for months, and I’ve gotten shot down every time. As soon as someone else mentions it, she says okay.

I tell myself not to be pissed about it, but I am.

Still, I say, “Okay.”

Nesta —

It’s been three days since Cassian has been back home, and it’s been…okay. Quiet, and there’s still not a lot of interaction between the two of us, but we haven’t been fighting. Although I guess it’s hard to fight when you barely speak. 

It hasn’t helped that he’s been working a lot this week. He’s a few men down at his restaurant so he’s picking up the extra slack, as you do when you’re the head chef, until they return. 

Still, when he’s gotten home we’ve had a small conversation about our days then we tell each other goodnight before Cassian makes his way down to the couch to sleep.

I hate being in our big ass bed without him, but I don’t mention it, not yet. 

Cassian got off earlier today, so we decided to take up Gwyn’s challenge. We’re going on a date. I’m nervous as hell, which is ridiculous, but I can’t help it. I want it to go well but I feel like I have to tiptoe around everything to avoid another screaming match.

I can hear Cassian humming to himself in the shower as I slip into a little black dress, one I haven’t worn in a really long time, and look in the mirror. I’m hot, I can’t deny it. I curled my hair and did a full face of makeup, which I also haven’t done in a while, and honestly? I feel confident looking at my reflection, more confident than I’ve felt in…shit, too long.

After clasping a simple diamond pendant around my neck and closing my jewelry box, my eyes fell on the cracked bathroom door in the mirror behind me, a bit of steam billowing out. The only thing I lacked to be completely ready were my heels, but seeing what occurred last time I walked in on Cassian in the shower, I respected his privacy and waited. I sat down on our bed — the bed I’d been sleeping in alone — and waited.

It was absurd, giving my husband privacy and space after being together for a decade. We were the couple no one shared their secrets with, because what one of us knew, the other did as well. We didn’t do it to gossip. 

We just didn’t keep secrets from each other.

I didn’t know at what point that changed, but I knew I was the cause. It all seemed to be my fault lately.

“You ready?”

My head snapped up. I’d been so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn’t heard the shower shut off or the door open completely.

And my husband stood before me in nothing but a dark blue towel, water dripping off his hair and running down his muscular body.

I watched as one particular droplet trailed down his neck, over his broad chest and well-defined abdomen, before absorbing into the towel wrapped around his hips.

“Nesta?”

Cauldron, boil me, I was ogling my own husband.

Tearing my eyes from his body, I met his gaze. I wasn’t entirely surprised to find heat there, simmering beneath the wall he’d put up between us. It had been a long time since I’d taken a moment to appreciate his body, a body he works hard to maintain, and I know he was as affected by our distance as I was.

Once I’d looked my fill, I cleared my throat, completely forgetting what he’d asked. “What?”

“Are you ready to go?”

I shook my head. “Almost. Just need to grab my shoes.”

He nodded, heading for his dresser, opening the top drawer, where his socks and underwear had always been tossed in with no rhyme or reason. As he began to rifle through it, I hurried into the bathroom, the steam already dissipating, and into my closet. Finding my heels was a matter of a few seconds and I was back into the bedroom before Cassian had even found a matching pair of socks.

“I’ll be downstairs,” I called, the straps of my shoes dangling from my fingers.

I only got two steps down the hall before I heard his voice call out behind me. “Nes?”

I turned, finding him standing in the bathroom doorway, a pair of black boxer briefs clutched in his hands. “Yes?”

“You look beautiful.”

A sudden pang of nausea swept through my stomach, fueled by excitement and longing at his words. I knew I was blushing. “Thank you.”

His smile almost reached his eyes as he disappeared into our bathroom and I hurried downstairs, Greg on my heels. 

My beautiful, fat cat hopped onto the couch next to me in the living room as I put on my shoes, trying to control my shaking fingers. 

My mind wanders back to my husband in a towel, as well as what lies beneath as I stand, my heels securely fastened. I take one last look at myself in the hallway mirror and take a deep breath as I hear Cassian coming down the stairs. 

When he comes into view, I want to run up to him and kiss him deeply, but I stay where I am. He’s wearing black pants and a dark crimson button down, both of which are perfectly fitted to his gloriously sculpted body. The top few buttons are undone, and I can see glimpses of his chest tattoo. But the best part? His hair hangs loose. 

“Ready?”

“Yes,” I say, nearly breathless, which makes him arch a brow. I clear my throat. “I’m starving.”

“Me too.” He comes near me, where his wallet and keys sit and snatch them up. He smells delicious, like that cologne I got him last Solstice. Once everything is in his pockets, he holds out his hand.

I blink before realizing what it is he wants.

Cassian is nothing short of a gentleman when it comes to a date.

I slip my hand in his and realize just how long it’s been since we’ve touched.

His fingers curl around mine as pulls me to my feet and we turn to head for the kitchen and the garage beyond. He drops my hand as he locks the door behind us and I’m surprised when he takes it again as we walk to his truck. It’s a short walk, but he’s apparently decided it’s been too long since we touched as well.

After closing me in the passenger side of the truck, he circles around until he’s sitting in the cab with me and starts it up. It roars to life and he backs out of the garage and the driveway.

As soon as he’s on the main road, he reaches over and threads my fingers in his.

I don’t say anything about it and neither does he, both of us silently enjoying the contact we’ve been denied for months.

“I made reservations at Sea and Vine,” he said, once the quiet in the cab was starting to feel less comfortable and more stifling. “I know how much you like their wine selection.”

The soft snort leaves me before I can stop it. “The wine selection, eh?” When I glance over at him, his ears are red. “Nothing to do with their cannolis?”

“Don’t hate on their cannolis,” he mutters, and I catch the hint of a smile. 

The rest of the car ride isn’t bad. We make smalltalk, which feels strange and unnatural, but not awful. We make our way to Sea and Vine, and park at a parking meter a few streets over. As soon as we’re out of the truck, he takes my hand again and pulls me close.

The heat radiates off his body, and now that his hair is completely dry, I admire the thick waves. He hasn’t shaved in a week or so, and a steady scruff has captured his cheeks, his chin. I love it when he’s not clean shaven. I think it’s sexy.  

Part of me wants to pull him into an alley and have him pin me up against the bricks. I want to revisit that heat we had when we were dating, when we were engaged, when we were newly married. There was a time when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, when we would sneak away no matter where we were and fuck each other senseless. 

I’m just now realizing how long it’s been since we’ve even been on a date. The whole concept feels foreign, and I’m almost unsure of what to do.

It’s all so ridiculous.

When we make it to the restaurant, we’re ushered to our table and Cassian pulls out my chair. Once he’s seated across from me, we fall back into our small talk. We share about our days, and how things have been going at work. I order my favorite wine and nearly melt in the deliciousness of it. Cassian asks them for a cannoli before we even order dinner. 

To my delight, I’m enjoying myself. And, I’m hardly thinking about work, which is rare. I feel like I’m thinking about work every waking moment. It’s a nice change of pace.

“Gwyn seems nice,” Cassian says, once our food is placed in front of us. He has a plate of steak and pasta, while I have shrimp scampi. 

“She does,” I agree. “I like her approach. Very casual.”

Cassian nods and pops a bite of steak into his mouth. “I have to admit that I wasn’t so sure about counseling…but, I didn’t mind it.”

“It’s nice, having someone there to play the mediator,” I say, jumping right in. We can tiptoe around our problems or we can face them head on. After months of awkwardness and half-assed conversations, I was ready to get back to who we were. I just had no idea where to start. “Someone to let us finish our thoughts when the other wants to jump in.”

He says nothing, just takes another bite of his exquisite steak and raises an eyebrow, indicating I’m the one who needed the reminder more than he did.

Which, to be fair, was true.

I can’t help but chuckle as I eat, swallowing my food before I speak. “I’m just saying, having an outside party is helpful.”

“I don’t disagree,” he says, twirling his fork in his pasta, not looking at me. “Especially when it comes to shit we don’t want to talk about.”

Immediately, my walls started to go up, not liking where he was leading the conversation. I swallowed harshly, but there was no food in my mouth.

Clearing my throat, I started, “I’m going to make an effort to be home more, Cass—”

“I’m not talking about your work, Nesta,” he pushed.

My jaw clenched and I stared at my plate, still full of food. Cassian’s chewing slowed as he watched me. 

“I thought my work was the biggest part of our issues,” I began, slowly.

Cassian continued to eat, apparently able to eat through any sort of tension. “I think it’s a part of our issues. It’s not the only part of our issues, although it’s apparently the only part of our issues that you want to talk about.”

I’m quiet for a moment, pushing around my pasta on my plate. “Can we not? I want to enjoy my night.”

“I’m not trying to ruin our night,” Cassian says, his fork halting. “I’m just saying—”

“Well stop,” I snap, and instantly regret it. My eyes wander back to my plate. “I don’t want to talk about that tonight.”

“You don’t ever want to talk about it,” he mutters, and drops his fork. “It wouldn’t hurt to talk about it, Nesta.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“We have to.”

“Not now.” The tone of my voice is final, and I see the hurt in his eyes. I know that what happened didn’t only affect me. It affected him, too, and we never had closure. I get that…but I can’t talk about it. I’m not ready. Even after all this time. I’m not ready. 

We’re quiet for a moment, and I wonder if anyone at the tables surrounding us have picked up on our awkward choice of dinner conversation. 

“I’ve lost my appetite,” I say, at last.

“Yeah.” Cassian’s not looking at me. All of the sudden, the mood has changed and we’re strangers again. “Me too.”

“Call for the check.”

His jaw locks but he gives me a stiff nod. With barely any of his food eaten, he motions for the server to come our way and asks for the check.

I feel guilty.

I also feel angry.

Uncomfortable.

Sad.

We sit in complete silence as our check is retrieved and we’re brought to-go boxes. I dump my shrimp scampi into one, and he pushes his steak into another. 

We barely make it out of the restaurant before he says, “I’m sorry.”

“About what?” I ask, as if I don’t know, which seems to make him mad.

“Don’t do that,” he says, stopping under a streetlight to glare at me.

“Don’t do what?” I ask, unable to stop my act, not knowing why. 

I can tell he’s frustrated, can tell he’s getting pissed. I notice he’s not reaching for my hand this time. 

“Act like you never have any fucking clue what I’m talking about,” he hisses. “I need you to communicate, Nesta. I need you to talk to me, to be open to me, to give me something of substance. I’m tired of these surface, meaningless conversations, and I’m tired of you avoiding everything we have to get out in the open. Therapy only goes so far.”

“Why couldn’t we just have a nice night?” I cry, and I hate myself for getting emotional. “We haven’t had a date in forever. This was supposed to be good for us.” And now we’re fighting on the fucking street.

Cassian just shakes his head and shrugs. “It’s not my fault.”

“Oh, right, it’s mine! It’s always my fault. It’s my fault we drifted apart, it’s my fault that you want a divorce, it’s my fault that we can’t—” the words fade away from me, stuck on my tongue. A tear falls that I wish kept itself hidden. 

He stiffens. “Nesta—”

“Go home, Cassian.” I start to walk away, but he quickly follows me.

“Come on. Let’s just go to the truck—”

“I’ll find my own way home,” I snap, trying my best to hurry ahead of him. I don’t look at him. I hardly acknowledge his presence. I need to be alone.

“Nes—”

“Please, Cassian!” I spin around, meeting his eyes. I can’t stop the tears from falling, can’t stop the feeling of utterly falling apart. “Leave me alone! Go home.”

I hate the angst in his eyes, the confusion, the loss. “Where are you going?”

I shake my head, backing up slowly. “I’ll see you at home.”

This time, when I walk away from him, he doesn’t chase after me.