#Dave is not a source

[j-p-mysteries]

Researching for a story be like

Me: Okay let’s find some survivor accounts of this tragic event, maybe a documentary or an interview, something personal, something real—

The internet: Here's four thousand articles with identical wording, clearly copy-pasted from a single local news report from 2003. Enjoy.

Me: Cool cool… any actual first-hand experiences?

The internet: This one looks promising! Google says it’s exactly what you’re looking for!

Me: Clicks

Website: “This article is behind a paywall.”

Me: …Fine. pays

Me: Finally opens the article

Article: “We interviewed Dave, who wasn’t there, but would like to share what he would’ve done IF he had been there. Hypothetically.”

Me: Thanks Dave. That’s so helpful. Really. No one asked.

Researching real events is either “Here’s a 12-part documentary, 3 books, and 100 archived interviews”

OR

“There's a blurry newspaper scan, and Dave.”

[thebibliosphere]

Pennyworth: Gainful Employment

Three years after the bomb dropped on London and it’s all starting to come together for Alfred.

MI5 have offered him a promotion, he’s got his mum set up in a nice flat in Edinburgh and Dave Boy is even paying his bar tabs. So, of course, Alfred is going out of his mind with boredom.

How convenient, then, that a strangely worded letter arrives from Gotham, thanking Alfred for his application for the position of Head Butler to Wayne Manor, urging him to come as soon as possible.

There’s just one small problem—Alfred didn’t apply for any job. Which can only mean one thing: Martha and Thomas are in danger and they need Alfred to get them out of it.

It’s probably a trap.

Alfred’s almost hoping it is.

Guess he’ll find out.

[Read the complete fic on Ao3]

I’m trying a new thing where I post fics I’m not entirely happy with but instead of letting them languish and rot in my drafts, ultimately killing my desire to do anything, I bludgeon my fatalistic perfectionism to death with a hammer and post them anyway.

Hopefully it’s all right.

Also don’t worry if you’re waiting on Richard’s story updating. I’m just sorting through WIPs in the hopes it’ll clear up some mental bandwidth :)

[tyriq-edits]

I have no explanation or excuse for the creation of this abomination. Enjoy 🫶

[perhaps-only-a-mirage]

some simple (but plentiful!!!) sprites for you all today. just some outfit swaps! the alpha kids did not get nearly enough cool outfits, so i decided to see what they'd look like with some modified beta kid outfits. some look decent, but others look very nice! i also did it the other way around too, because whynot.

(sorry i think i'll stop with the colored text thing in default text, it was So Cool but it was also really time consuming @_@)

JANE

ROXY

DIRK

JAKE

JOHN

JADE

ROSE

DAVE

[zeroaddzero]

Bruce & Clarence, 1977. Photo by Dave Suarez.

[fbfh]

Do you still write for Dave Lizewski? I loved what you've written for him so far!

FUCK yes I do. Listen there's a lot I could say about Dave, but one thing that is NEVER addressed is how deeply rooted and repressed his mommy issues are. I'm sorry, your mom dies in front of you and you're just... not affected by it??? bullshit!!!!!!! Dave CRAVES a soft gentle touch, a divine feminine aura. Even if you're not a girl, if you just take care of him gently and look at him with a soft fondness he will fold SO fast. and yes having a nice rack (while not necessary) will help with this a lot. and by a nice rack I mean literally just having anything on your chest. flat tits, huge tits, lopsided tits, fake tits, real tits, literally ANYTHING. even if your tits are practically nonexistent he WILL still be trying to grope and suck on them. and he WILL succeed. nothing in this world can stop this boy from drooling over you.

after a particularly long night full of stopping some muggers, making sure the town drunk doesn't fight anyone, and helping some college girls get home safe, he shows up at your place, a little bumped and bruised but not majorly injured. you greet him with this soft, understanding smile and bring him up to your bathroom. It's all clean and soapy and smells like you, and he immediately starts to relax. you help him take off his suit and he tries not to get hard from the feeling of your warm hands getting him out of his suit and exposing his skin to the cool air. you start inspecting him to see how bad he's hurt - because of all his nerve damage he doesn't always notice how bad his injuries are.

you smooth his hair and praise him, listen to him talk about his night patrolling the neighborhood. worry flashes across across your face as you see the scratches all over his face and arms.

"Oh, uh, Mrs. Landsberg's cat got stuck..." He trails off sheepishly while you smile and put disinfectant on his nicks and scrapes.

"Look at you, helping little old ladies and rescuing cats from trees." you coo playfully.

"Well, she got stuck in the attic crawl space, but..." he shrugs with another blush, feeling all proud and sheepish from your praise.

"Close enough."

you press a kiss to his nose.

"now all you need is a job at the daily planet."

Dave was so sore and tired after tonight that he felt like he'd need days to recover. but after 10 minutes with you, you already have him laughing and feeling like himself again. Dave doesn't know what he did to luck out and have you in his life, but he thinks about you all the time. If he's not physically with you (or texting you or calling you or snapping you or lurking on your social media accounts or reading through your old texts or looking through the folder of pictures and videos he has of you saved in his phone or-) he's thinking about you all the time. he even dreams about you every night. no matter how much time he spends with you, he always wants more. Dave is definitely in the sex isn't enough I need to crawl inside your skin club.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

if colors had grubblr

🫒 gr33nasthegrass Follow

:33 < hate when yellow gets all the credit fur being a purrimary color when its literally r G b

🍯 mellow-yellow Follow

uhh.. ii liiterally am a 2ub2tractiive priimary. liike yeah iit 2uck2 that you dont get the recogniitiion you de2erve but you dont have two put down other color2

🐙 majestic-magenta Follow

At least you're on t)(e color w)(eel 38(

238,332 notes

🦕 t34l-for-two Follow

1 H4T3 COLORS WHOS3 H3X COD3S ST4RT W1TH "F". 1TS L1T3R4LLY SUCH 4 R3D FL4G

314 notes

🔮 therealroyalpurple Follow

youre in her dms im a fundamental part a her personality. wwe are not the same

771,138 notes

🩸 rubyred Follow

if y0u cant be represented by a wavelength 0f light y0ure n0t a real c0l0r

🐙 majestic-magenta Follow

T)(is is litereely so toxic, wtf! Colors t)(at are perseaved only w)(en t)(e s)(ort and long cones are activated toget)(er are valid!

♠️ blackasmysoul Follow

TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME I'M THE "ABSENCE OF COLOR" AND THEREFORE NOT A COLOR MYSELF. LIKE, YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE HOW I IDENTIFY.

803,216 notes

♠️ blackasmysoul Follow

WHY IS EVERYONE SAYING THAT ORANGE IS THE NEW ME. I LITERALLY HAVEN'T GONE ANYWHERE.

🔥 thecolornotthefruit Follow

sOUNDS LIKE, a SKILL ISSUE????

612 notes

🦕 t34l-for-two Follow

STOP S4Y1NG M3 4ND BLU3 LOOK 4L1K3!!! W3 4R3 L1T3R4LLY D1FF3R3NT COLORS

🧿 therealroyal8lue Follow

Yeah!!!!!!!! I'm so much hotter than that.

🦕 t34l-for-two Follow

FUCK YOU

413,888 notes

[skyblueartt]

Do you guys like the low quality reel I made (it’s 3am <3)

[haywire-hetfield]

James: I'm a person that's accepting, you know? James, gesturing to Lars, Kirk, and Dave: Of hot foreigners. Of bi dudes. Of nutty people.

[conceptofjoy]

alpha rose twitter passive aggressive beef with the official betty crocker account during that uptick in corporate accounts acting all chummy with users a few years ago would have gone crazy.

[johndavedaily]

uhhjmmmjhh... so like ghost bf davejohn. are yoy getting this. daves a ghost .. oufjkdd

day 22

This lowkey sucks

[binary-bird]

AF attack for @howlhawk! it's antihero teamup hours

[roseofithaca]

Rimmer: "Morally bankrupt" eh?!

Kryten: I'm sorry, sir?

Rimmer: A little dicky-bird tells me you think I'm morally bankrupt!

Kryten: Yes sir, that's correct.

Rimmer: What?

Kryten: We all do, sir.

Cat: All do what?

Kryten: Mr. Rimmer. Morally bankrupt.

Cat: Oh hell yeah.

Kochanski: Absolutely.

Holly: Hundred percent.

Lister: Can be a little....

Rimmer: Oh right. I thought you might try to deny it.

Kryten: We assumed you knew, sir. Because of, well, everything that you do.

Lister: And say.

[fandom-err0r]

TG: no man, it’s like- it’s a rule. you gotta have fruit after you- what. no, nobody’s forcing me. it’s just a rule. like socks before shoes- nevermind.

[rodneyfuncomiccollectiontwo]

PaRappa the Rapper 2 post-credits scene

[Colonel Noodle is sitting in a director's chair in a behind-the-scenes setup] Colonel Noodle: Hi, I'm Colonel Noodle! Colonel Noodle: I'm sure many of you are wondering why I brainwashed that octopus into giving people giant afros. Colonel Noodle: ... Colonel Noodle: Well, goodbye!

[superiorsturgeon]

Ozpin: Okay Qrow, you’re going to get the relics back from Salem and Cinder!

Qrow: This sounds dangerous! Why do I have to do it?

Ozpin: Because Oscar’s too young and I’m too smart.

Qrow: Oh. Well, okay.

Qrow: …wait.