#Disgusting faggot. ACT NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bpdloop]

stupid fucking wizard rogue twink has me in their starforsaken grasp. why do i see him and look like this

[xbennedx]

𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙲𝙺 𝚄𝚂 𝙾𝚁 𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙲𝙺 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙼

Helloooo. The BPD (big penis disorder) whore has returned to Tumblr.

It seems to not want to talk through whatever trouble it's having sucking our massive penis that it's turned to trying to kill us. Which is extremely rational!

Do not interact if you're radqueer, want to start any sort of drama (we will bite your dick off), or are any sort of 'normal' blog that doesn't like..indulge in mentally ill shit on the norm.

This blog is a sexual abuse, hypersexuality/paraphilia, SH/ED, etc vent blog. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. BLOCK, DON'T REPORT.

PLEASE FOLLOW OUR BACKUP BLOG AS WELL IF YOU FOLLOW US.

Please block @lxcky-ch4rms if you interact with us. They have a solid belief that we are a fucking disgusting pedophile and we won't interact with you if you're mutuals with them. You will be blocked.

Block @kuuzmakutz as well. Mutuals of that radqueer who started the hate that got us banned on our last account will be blocked.

And yes, just to be that way, anybody who interacts with @aphrodite-is-sorry in ANY FUCKING WAY will get blocked. Yes. Dead serious. He once acted into us (it was a while ago but yeah) because we're a yan and all he did was use us for nudes/have us carve his name into our thigh and block us. God knows what he's doing with the nudes now (HE'S A PEDOPHILE WHO IS IN POSSESSION OF CHILD PORN BASICALLY).

NEVER INTERACT WITH US IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH @KITABARKSX OR @STANSAVVY. YES, CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM OR US IF YOU KNOW THEM. CHOOSE THEM? FUCK OFF!

+YouTube channel+

+𝙴𝙳 ���𝚃𝙰𝚃𝚂/𝙸𝙽𝙵𝙾+

+𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺𝚄𝙿 𝙱𝙻𝙾𝙶: @touch-me-until-i-praise-you+

Hey! So..16th ban. Yay.

Collective name: Maveth Mot

Host's name: Bennett/Bennie/Benn Jaym, Samuil/Sami/Sam Rainn.

System's title: Anachronistically Placed

+AuDHD, BPD/ASPD/HPD/NPD, PTSD, OCD, GAD, DID (traumagenic system of 25), bipolar manic depression, schizophrenia, anorexia/bulimia, paraphilias; phobias (athazagoraphobia, claustrophobia, nosophobia, phonophobia; autophobia)+

+SH as a kink..

+SH in a depressing way too.

+SH makes me cum.

+Extremely sexual personality (flirts with everyone).

+Host is bisexual/aromantic (bi/aro); polyamorous.

+Host is intersex CAFAB, trans male. He/they/vi + any neos.

+Host is a Teru Mikami, Sou Hiyori/Shin Tsumiki, and Kokichi Ouma fictionkin. And a therian.

+IT, python programming, hyperpop and video game music creator, YouTube shit poster, video game creator, program/website maker, and pro faggot.

+Any age can interact but we won't date over 20.

+Won't just send nudes for no reason. And won't send self harm for no reason either. Earn it.

+Survivor of online child sextortion, currently and have been undergoing IRL physical/emotional/financial/sexual abuse and neglect to a heavy extent (ever since we were born basically). We have never consented to having sex before.

+We all are Atheistic Satanists (except for Heir).

+We have blue-yellow colourblindness (Tritanopia).

+Drug addicted junkie. Weed, opioids, etc.

+Sexualise trauma? Yes. Just yes. Why? YES.

+Possessive yanboy. Will sink our teeth into you.

+Ask for our Discord user and/or a server invite, we'll gladly give it to you if we trust you. Other socials as well.

+Alters tag when they're fronting. Ask for our individual pronouns.

[gwoss]

I'm probably going to either stop using this account or delete it because honestly? I'm so tired of knowing my every fucking account is being stalked by multiple people who hate me because I cucked them or whatever. My real life is plagued by one person abusing me so much I'm an angry bitch cunt whore and another one gaslightjng me to "Look on the bright side". What fucking bright side? I feel tainted because I've been sexually abused multiple times, I can't even enjoy the idea of sex or even maturation without feeling genuine nausea because a few people saw me as an underage child, found me attractive and raped me because of it.

Then I see you goddamn shithead "proshippers" who say "ermmm well incest/pedophilia/necrophilia/zoophilia are all good and morally not bad!!" Yeah that's why you have no problem retraumatizing victims of these SEXUAL ABUSES and inflicting your shit into Fandom where you know a majority of people either don't tolerate or its filled with kids for yoy to groom into being just as bad as you, by traumatizing and brainwashing them with those "just simple drawings". Drawings of what? Don't act slick because most people who are NORMAL dont want to see drawings of children being raped because HHHH YOU GOTTA COOOOOMMMM. Go kill yourselves - and don't get mad at that! Those are pixels on a screen, those aren't real words!! What, you're THAT sensitive that a few widdle words make you sooooo madddd? Wahhhh wahhh so #triggered wahhhhhhh!! It's ironic how people who romanticize/sexualize the worst of humanity in fictional form both don't like being told what they like is disgusting and also DESPISEEEE people who are victims and get.... hmmm..hmm... shockingly!! Actually triggered by depictions of incest, pedophilia and the other horrendous things in the proshipper community! I wouldn't care if you guys just fucking stayed away from kids and in your own disgusting festering corner instead of literally ruining fucking everything. This website is almost unusable because every. Fucking. Tag. I see you goddamn degenerate cunts and I wish you would all just die. Actual rapists and pedos barely serve the time they deserve and it's because of people like you. You'd all would start jerking off if you knew why I was permanently traumatized from sex and that alone is why I think all of you proshipper faggot losers should kill yourselves. AND remember, if you're offended by my words then you're a dummy puritan who believes WORDS on a SCREEN are real!! Teehee uwu hope you domt mind your logic being used on you uwu!!!

Signed a pissed off incest/pedophilia victim, go die im never using this site again

[garyfischy]

its really fucking awesome being the slightly faggy autist in any irl lgbt space im in. im only valuable insofar as i talk about the same video games and fandom shit everyone likes. otherwise the people i surround myself feel cold and distant. they all have their own problems to deal with, or they just ignore anything i say about my struggles (tbh venting is also really femalebrained so i should stop doing that) to go play HALO for 7 hours straight. I could disappear right now, stop talking to everyone, and they wouldn't even fucking notice.

friend asked me why I'm not going to the football game tomorrow. friend let his other friends post my bleary bloated crying face on twitter calling me a fucking loser. friend's boyfriend called me a disgusting gay pervert. who cares. actually wanting other people to care about you is also faggot behavior

I'm surrounded by people at any given time but I never feel integrated into any group. I've never known how to act like a normal person.

[grox]

Obviously worthless white ass mixed guys like me are nowhere near the main target of antiblackness but there is such a disgusting fucking uniquely dangerous view of the world you may gain from having a black mother and coming out white anyway not even white for real just not that black and she raises you white as she can because you can pass as anything other than black but you dont even look normal or act normall at all you look and act like a freak. And the fucking fact that you have to give something up and its not even your choice to make its your parents choice its literally your culture or survival but thats the fucking evil of it we will never fucking survive no matter fucking what because guess what even though I was raised white I was raised white by my mother and even if I fucked a disgusting blonde racist nordic guy somehow and had kids those kids would still be fucked up because I was fucked up too & its not that simple. Its just not. And its the anriblackness that even black people hold because of the evil ass world that makes them do shit like this where its like God I had a horrible life as a black woman I dont want that for my child. And it has to be a painful choice like theres no way its not because in order to make this choice you have to be aware of this shit. You cant not fucking be. And either it doesn't work and the choice to pass it on is now up to the child upon reaching adulthood or it works and the child grows up with a hole in its chest because like there is no place for it in this world. We're never fucking getting out of this. we never are. Like society will never fucking know peace. Ever never ever never ever. You grow up seeing the shit your mother and aunts and shit go through and you talk about it with them because they cant confide in their husbands and they know this. and they know you both understand how messed up it all is. And them you see them putting other black people through the same shit and its just like. I'm sorry. But white people have won. Like they did. They split us all apart they fucking tricked us into doing this shit to one another in america. & you end up with such an intimate view of the fucking evil but it just doesn't fuck with you that much it wants your mom it wants your grandpa. But it will always. Keep its fucking eye on you. And your children. And theirs. Because there comes a point where you know what. Maybe they are white now. Maybe you did successfully take the black out of them and now they'll go on to keep making shit be evil. Maybe they're fucking devils on earth because nobody ever sat them down real quick with the "Btw your black" not even their parents like a stranger on xbox live trying to hurt them could have done just put like, a tiny sliver of you need to think about shit like think reeeeal hard for a moment at least or kill yoirseld in their head. Maybe I'm that point and I'm nothing more than a fucking delusional racist guy. What can you do. Literally what can you even do. Just witness it. blog about it faggot. Everybody needs to die at the same time so nobody can be blamed and we all go to heaven. I feel tainted

[fagsex]

i like watching movies i know will be bad but sometimes they piss me off like of course treatment in any sort of mental health related institution (ex an 'insane asylum' in the one im watching right now) is bad but like. why are they in empty stone rooms with not even a bed no furniture just chilling on the floor no guards no supervision no lights just a lil square at the top of the door to like peak in. the criminally insane theyre called. they dont even have like a set set of outfits like nothing like a uniform just a couple people in rock rooms on the ground in the dark. and what theyre supposed to act normally. its not even set during like the 60s or 70s its like 2013. the stone walls are so thick and yet the pedophile and the pedophile killer share a wall thats apparently thin enough they can conversate through it. and since they dont have supervision the pedophile is talking to him jacking off and calling him a faggot? and making him angry.

and also the pedophile killer is described by the characters to be 'even worse' than the pedophile who is also a serial rapist and murderer. and hes quite polite and one of the workers is like "and everyone calls him a hero its so disgusting" its not. he kills rapists and pedophiles. oh shit he just killed a guard thats a serial sexual assaulter and broke into the pedophiles cell to kill him LMFAO

anyway justice for the criminally insane of this asylum and justice for the pedophile killer. and whoever did the sound mixing needs to kill themselves for real i hope what theyre saying isnt always plot relevant because i cant fucking hear it

while we're on the topic why is the driven mad survivor of a violent cult even close to either murderer or 'patient X' which is implied to be ronald defeo jr. oh my god if they call the pedophile killer dude a 'fucking menace' again im going to kill them

[bstag]

A normal life... college, office job, perhaps husband and children, death.

This format of living always sounded so nice to me, when I was a teen. What would I have given to be normal, to have a more or less predictable day to day. The beginning of my life wasn't normal, at all. I was born of an infantalizing overprotective father, and a deppressed psychologically abusive mother. Everything was just fine during kingergarden tho. Like any child that age, I just accepted them as normal, as perfect, so everything felt right. Then, on my first day of elementary school, I made the fatal mistake of befriending a group of girls, and being a little more flamboyant that the other boys. That mistake haunted me until senior year of high school, and it became even worse when I found out I liked other boys. Almost all the guys treated me like I had the plague and kept their distance, when they weren't making passive aggressive comments about my sexuality or calling me faggot. This boy I liked started to through paper and rubbers at me, he was my first love, but I didn't I expect him to love me back, but for him to hate me? To be disgusted by me?

I started clashing with my mother and trying to escape my father. I developed anxiety and OCD, and heavely contemplated suicide. My entire life became a free cart wheel ride to the seven levels of hell, completely out of nowhere.

But then I thought...

There's this mythical place, I heard about it. A place of glass offices, milktoast coworkers and white papers telling me to pay the lights, the water, the gas. I was mermerized by it. A world of normalcy, of silence, of calm. I sounded a little boring, but that's exactly what I loved about it, and so I decided to stay.

And then I got my wish. All the turbulence gave way to numbness. Everyday I get up, go to the glass office, make small talk with my milktoast co-workers. To see what at the end of the day? Chronic exhaustion, no free time, and barely any money to show for it. Meanwhile all the pigs at the top are blissfully walloing in their own shit.

I look around. Does no one feel something wrong? What is everyone acting like this is worth being born for? Why are they having children? I try to reason with them and of course...

"You may be deppressed."

"Have you tried therapy?"

"Medication would be good?"

"Be grateful."

I would take boredom over suffering any day. I'm glad everything is more predictable, truly, I would never go back.

But this is it. This is it. And it's disgusting, and the only reason why a part of me clings to it it's because my childhood and adolescence were wastelands.

How pathetic is that? To desire stale bread and tipid water because your formative years where spent eating shit and acid.

And it's all because of people, their brokeness, their spite and their cluelessness.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

“Faggot.” “Cocksucker.” “Femboy.” “Abomination.” Gay. The list of names I’ve been called since coming out as bisexual in June 2020 doesn’t stop there — nor did it stop when I went public with my sexual identity either.

From a young age, I knew I was different from my peers.

Maybe it was the way I walked. Or the way I talked. Or the way I dressed. I just knew I stood out to them like a sore thumb — or perhaps a rainbow of color in a sea of dull gray.

My differences became evident to me when other children at the preschool I attended in suburban San Diego, California, would forsake my company in favor of each other, already forming cliques and inciting drama at such an innocent age.

When my family and I moved to dreary Erie, Pennsylvania, I knew my struggles would only get worse.

Many of the children in my kindergarten class had already known each other for several years before I entered the picture.

They quickly noticed differences in my mannerisms, speech patterns, thoughts and ideas. I wasn’t like the other boys, but I wasn’t like the girls either. I was an outlier, a foreigner and a stranger considered dangerous and unwelcome.

Though I made friends the following few years — including some who would become lifelong companions — most of those primary friendships mirrored the kernels of a neglected ear of corn: delicious when ripe but quick to harden, rot and flake off.

By my fourth grade year, I was teased and bullied nearly daily for being too feminine, too weird, too annoying to fit into my school’s social circles.

When I told my teachers about my struggles, their solution was to attempt to masculinize me by placing me in groups of athletic boys in my class, boys I had nothing in common with and who certainly had nothing in common with me.

Even my grandparents — then and now my caretakers — noticed my un-boyish behavior and enrolled me in the local little league baseball team — whether to also attempt to instill in me a sense of masculinity and male toughness or to help me make new friends I knew not.

I would grudgingly participate in the sport for six, nigh on seven grueling years, never making a single lasting friend and crying almost weekly from the torment it caused me.

Needless to say, I felt like a floundering fish without fins in a sea of angry, hungry sharks during those years.

It wasn’t until the final year of my elementary education that I was introduced to the concepts of puberty, adolescence and sex.

I was told that very soon, I would start noticing the girls in my class and would begin to want to form meaningful relationships with them. Eventually, I would become sexually attracted to them and want to have children with them.

But in those coming years, though many girls would pique my interest, it wasn’t them who ignited the fire in my soul and made me feel the burning passion of desire — it was men.

I quickly realized it was this that set me apart from my male peers and resulted in me being shunned by the girls. I was a boy — soon to be a man — in every physical way, but I wasn’t attracted to or passionate about girls like the other boys in my class were. I was obsessed with men.

But I couldn’t possibly be gay, could I?

Growing up in a household of religious relatives, I was always taught that sex before marriage was a wicked abomination and that being anything but straight was a sin comparable to none.

I distinctly remember watching a news broadcast with my family around the time I was transitioning to my middle school years. The ABC World News clip showcased LGBT marriages being performed out west and contained affirming remarks from then-President Barack Obama on the matter.

“The Bible says marriage is between a man and a woman,” I remember my aunt saying in utter disgust at the television, murmurs of agreement echoing her around the room.

I resolved then to hide my feelings and my pubescent curiosity from my family at all costs, lest I be scolded, shunned or worse: abandoned.

During middle school, I relentlessly dug deep within myself and attempted to alter what I thought was but a simple mental barrier to social normality. All thoughts of being with men were forcibly suppressed in my mind before they could even become tangible, and each of my increasingly urgent bodily needs went ignored and unsatiated.

I even resorted to religion, the only weapon I thought strong enough to aid me in the war raging inside myself.

Day and night, I attempted to “pray the gay away,” but to little avail. Much to my chagrin, I realized that even divine intervention could not “help” me: My homosexuality seemed to be an immortal, malignant tumor infecting each and every one of my thoughts.

Thus, the preliminary years of my second decade of life became miserable and unfulfilling — I was engaged in a fierce battle with an integral aspect of my identity and was inadvertently shattering the chains that bound a beast capable of obliterating every fiber of my cognitive being — anxiety.

By my high school years, men — mean, nasty and indifferent but awe-inspiring, mystifying and oh-so-gorgeous men — had begun to control my deepest, darkest desires and fantasies. My lust had grown large enough to thwart even my most furious attempts at diminishing it.

As I slowly came to terms with the realization that nothing in the universe could “fix” me, my mental situation severely worsened. I fell into a dangerous downward spiral of self-doubt and woefulness.

My relationship with my grandparents quickly began to deteriorate, as did my relationships with my friends. Every day brought with it a new reason to hate my existence — the constant verbal altercations, the continued teasing and even bullying at school, the countless lonely nights spent sobbing quietly into my pillow.

And, to make matters worse, the true nature of my sexuality seemed to express itself in each of my social mannerisms. It wasn’t long before despicable rumors about me spread through the student body of my high school like wildfire.

My teachers noticed my strife, and some took the time to speak with me about a few of the different mental illnesses they suspected I had. But not even they could halt the hordes of horrifying thoughts racing through my head or the string of ruthless comments that would assault me in the hallways.

Soon, however, the light at the end of the long, grueling tunnel that was public education began to shine: I was graduating from high school and about to start fresh. Nothing could have contained my excitement at the prospect of escaping the largest source of my daily torment.

As I digested the freedom going to college offered, idealistic daydreams began to flood my mind — I could live how I wanted with whomever I wanted, and no one could judge me or tell me differently.

How wrong I was.

My first year as an undergraduate student at Penn State Behrend was a living hell.

Though the petty and immature teasing of high school was no longer an issue, standing up for my newfound political identity was, as well as dealing with my growing anxiety.

I was constantly engaged in polite yet heated political debates with those in my dorm. I felt like they were blatantly attempting to oppress me with their own beliefs and had grown to hate me for mine.

The same situation occurred with my grandparents, and we grew increasingly distant over the course of that year.

It didn’t help that I was still “in the closet,” so to speak, and contemplating methods of publicly revealing my true sexual identity. I hadn’t yet officially told anyone I was bisexual, and it remained my most closely guarded secret.

Needless to say, my social circumstances and the added stress of my adjustment to college academics and lifestyle allowed my mental state to reach an unprecedented low. I needed help.

That same year, I saw my family physician and then a psychiatrist, who prescribed me antidepressants in an attempt to lessen my now untameable anxiety. I took them with gusto and also began attending therapy sessions to teach me how to manage my thoughts and emotions.

For a small while, I felt better — I was actually happy in my skin and even happy with my bisexuality.

But then, even my long-awaited mental comfort abandoned me, and I slipped into the deepest, darkest pit of my life.

I became suicidal but never acted on that petrifying potentiality.

I didn’t trust myself to be alone, so I constantly sought the company of others, which only made me feel like a nuisance and waste of time, energy and space.

About a month later — in October 2018 — I got into an accident.

I was barrelling down the highway, escaping a particularly heated verbal altercation with my grandfather. It was raining that day, and the roads were slippery.

Going around a curve, I lost control of my vehicle and flew into a small ravine, flipping not once, not twice but three times in midair before landing upright — dazed, but alive.

Escaping relatively physically unscathed from the incident, with only a broken right clavicle, I was not mentally the same for weeks afterward.

I decided at that time I would come out and reveal my true sexuality at the soonest possible opportunity — I blamed my silence on every terrible situation that had occurred in my life up to that point. If I didn’t come out, I quite literally thought I would die.

Telling even my closest friends was difficult, but I managed, and the relief I felt was paramount to that of the titan Atlas in Greek mythology: I felt like the weight of the entire world — sky and all — had been lifted from my shoulders.

Fast forward to the present: I’m alive, well, out and proud. I’m no longer ashamed of my innate traits or of my thoughts.

Being a bisexual man has taught me many lessons, but foremost among them is that the people who can’t accept me for who and what I am don’t deserve to be in my life.

My anxiety made it difficult to let go of toxic relationships over the years — I learned that the primary source of my mental strife is a fear of abandonment by those I care about — but doing so opened the door to newer, healthier relationships that build me up and boost my confidence instead of chipping away at it.

I’ve since improved tremendously, and not even the onset of the coronavirus pandemic was able to pause my progress. Every day is a learning experience, and I’ve grown so much from the helpless boy I was mere months ago that if you showed me a map of my mentality from 2018, 2019 or even 2020, I wouldn’t recognize myself at all.

Revealing my bisexuality to the world didn’t solve all my issues — there were and still are other factors that contribute to my anxiety and mental health — but coming out was perhaps the most profound, life-altering moment in my 21 years. Nothing compares to the freedom I now enjoy, nor will any other experience compare to the relief I felt following my announcement.

[murphysiblings]

also i find it funny when ppl r all about other “contradictory” identities but the moment its something they personally cant relate to or understand its suddenly Cringe or Chronically Online or whatever . like unless its something genuinely very harmful like maps or whatever why do u even care. u dont have to identify w/ any label u dont want to, no one is forcing u to do that, just don’t be fucking rude lol ? it doesnt matter how much u mock some labels or make posts abt how u think they r redundant or stupid, there will always still be ppl who identify with them, even though u don’t personally Get It. u will come across ppl in queer spaces irl or online who use labels that u dont “agree” with & as time goes on ppl will create new terms to identify with so they can find other ppl Like Them or describe their gender or how they experience attraction in a more specific way & that will never change

a lot of ppl on this website (& the internet in general) pride themselves on being unnecessarily meanspirited but it isnt that hard to try to be more open to new “confusing” identities or to at least just mind ur business. i promise u that someone identifying as like queerplatonic or demisexual or using xenogenders or whatever isnt a Genuine Threat to the LGBT Community theyre just regular ppl. grow up

i love it when ppl’s identities “make no sense” actually. not sarcasm btw

[gwoss]

"Mmm I loveeeeee incest, mmm I love raping little kidsss mmmmm"

shut upppp my god you HARDCORE SO EDGYY faggots are made in a factory somewhere kill yourselves.

And I'm so so so ooooo tired of people being like "ermmmm well I was a csa/incest victim so therefore beating my meat to lolis is totally fine 🤓" IF YOU ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH THAT THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW WHY IT SHOULDNT BE FUCKING NORMALIZED TO JERK OFF TO IN FICTION, YOU DISGUSTING CUNTS

YOU THINK I HAD FUN BEING RAPED? IT SUCKED IT JUST LEAVES ME FEELING LIKE AN EMPTY PERSON BUT YOU LOT WOULD NUT TO THAT TOO RIGHT?? JUST LIKE MY FUCKING ABUSER WHO LIED AND MADE ME ACT IT OUT WHEN I WOULD CRY AND VOMUT AND CUT MYSELF I HATE EVERY LAST PERSON IM DONE WITH THIS FUCKING WEBSITE IM TIRED OF SEEING PEDO INCEST AND FUCKING NECTOPHRILIA AND BEASTIALIATY SHIT IM DONE IM DONE IM DONE FUCK ALL OF YOU

[phoenixkaizen]

Just Like You

Summary: Prompt fic. Aizawa and All might in high school, and Aizawa is getting teased for being gay, Toshinori tries to cheer him up with cuddles Author's Note: Another prompt fill from tumblr! Alright so the title of this fic is the song title Just Like You by Louis Tomlinson. Louis is literally my favorite singer ever and I've been watching him since his X Factor days with One Direction. I tend to use his song titles in a lot of what I write. This song just seemed fitting for this scenerio. Warnings: Bullying, Homophobic slurs, talks of suicide but not by Shouta, language, a pissed off Toshinori, Enji is suddenly... niceish?

Faggot. Queer. Homo. You're disgusting. You deserve to die. Just do everyone a favor and kill yourself. Every single word constantly rang through Shouta's head as he walked the halls of U.A. Recently, he had accidentally came out to his class when they were talking about one of the pro heroes who had recently come out. It had slipped out before he could even catch himself. Ever since then, it seemed like the entire school knew of his sexuality. Now every step he took was followed closely behind by verbal abuse of so called heroes to be. Even members of other classes had gotten involved. Support, General, Business. Apparently it didn't matter. He was only in his first year. He had three more years of this torment. He was still the same Shouta that they knew before he had came out but now it was a complete one eighty. He had been isolated. He was already close to being an outcast for his quirk but now he was an outcast. Only five people remained by his side. His fellow classmates and friends, Oboro Shirakumo and Hizashi Yamada and his friend from Class 2-B, Nemuri Kayama. Lastly, his own boyfriend Toshinori Yagi from Class 3-A. The only people who knew of his relationship with Toshinori were his friends. Toshinori wasn't technically out of the closest but he didn't really care. Toshinori didn't care about who he was in a relationship with as long as if he loved them. Toshinori was the sun of Shouta's life. His smile couldn't lighten up a room. His laugh was contageous to those around him. Some day, Toshinori was going to be the Number One hero. Shouta knew it in his gut. Shouta just hoped that he would still be by Toshinori's side by then. He hasn't exactly told Toshinori about him being a target of the constant teasing and bullying. Hizashi and Oboro did their best within Class 1-A to keep them down at bay but some of them still managed to sneak by. Nemuri had been trying everything to keep Class 2-B off of his back but it also failed ninety percent of the time. Thank god, it was lunch time. No one ever messed with him during lunch because Toshinori sat with them along with Enji Todoroki. Cause for some god forsaken their rivalry in class came out in lunch too. Oddly enough, Enji knew of Shouta's sexuality but didn't say anything. All the Hellflame user said was who cares. His reaction had shocked him the most. Enji Todoroki should have been at the head of the teasing but instead he just sat with them and glared at others who even sent a wrong look in Shouta's direction. It was strangely comforting. Enji happened to be very intimating. He was broader than Toshinori is but Toshinori had height on him. Shouta should of known his luck was running out. Toshinori, Hizashi, and Oboro were deep in conversation about god knows what three sunshine people talk about. Enji occasionally threw in a comment while Nemuri ate in silence while scrolling through social media. Shouta held his book in front of his tray as he also ate in silence. A noise escaped him as his book was ripped from his hands. He turned to look at the culprit but a gasp left him as he felt a liquid cover splash over his head and down his body. He quickly identified it as soda from the stickiness it left behind. The other occupants of the table jumped up from their spots but froze as the boy from Class 3-B, Hiroto Terasaka, leaned down until he was eye level with Shouta. "Fags don't belong in hero society. They would never accept you. Why don't you drop out and go sell yourself on the corner like the whore you are." One the boy stopped talking, he turned his tray upside down and onto Shouta's head. Shouta held out his hands in front of him as he looked down at his lap in shock. Tears prickled his eyes as the older boy's words tore through him. The lunch room broke out into laughter as the teen chackled at his work. A loud crash caused Shouta to look back up. Toshinori now stood in front of him and the now empty tray that belonged to Terasaka was in the floor. Shouta couldn't see the blonde's face but just by Toshinori's body language he could tell the elder was livid. The laughter in the cafeteria fell to a dead silence. Shock and disbelief came to the faces of the other students as they looked at Toshinori and Terasaka. Terasaka sank underneath the piercing gaze from the blonde. "What the fuck did you just say?" Toshinori growled. Tersaka smirked. "I told the stupid little fag to go to the job that would fit him best, of course. He is a little slut after all." The teen said. Shouta watched in awe as Toshinori grabbed the other third year by the front of his uniform and jerked him forward. "You disgust me. You're supposed to be becoming a hero and you are tearing him down. For what? Being gay?" Every word was laced in venom as Toshinori spoke. Tersaka physically shook in Toshinori's hold as he tried to wiggle away from Toshinori's grip. "He's a little faggot. He doesn't deserve to be a hero." Toshinori chuckled and released Tersaka. The other teen falling to his bottom on the floor and his eyes locked onto Toshinori. Shouta held his breath as Toshinori gazed over his shoulder to the Erasure quirk user. "Shouta, how long as this been going on. By the look on your face. This isn't the first time." Shouta swallowed the lump in his throat. The normally soft blue eyes were now cold as ice. A frown covering his face that normally held the smile that would make Shouta's heart skip a beat. "Since Frostbite came out. My classmates were arguing over a gay man being a hero and I accidentally came out too." Shouta whispered, his voice shaking. The anger on Toshinori's face only grew deeper. "That was two months ago, Shouta. Who has been doing this to you?" Toshinori's voice was deep, almost coming out as a growl. Shouta shook his head. At this point, he didn't even know who it was. There was at least three people from each class. "It's almost every class in each year, Yagi-senpai." Hizashi said, the Voice user knowing that Shouta wasn't going to talk. "We've managed to keep our class off for the most part, but they still find a way." Oboro added, his voice laced in regret. Toshinori looked away from Shouta, his glare settling on the other occupants of the room. "You should be ashamed of yourselves." Toshinori stated, his voice raising as he looked out at the other students. "You are making fun of, teasing, bullying, assaulting a fifteen year old because he just so happens to like the same sex?!" Toshinori scoffed. "Within this school is over a hundred students that hope to be heroes one day. From what I just got told, even the hero course is involved in this villainous act." The blonde shook his head, climbing up onto the table that he had been formerly sitting at. "You want to be heroes?! How can you even call yourself a hero in training if you are acting like a villain?" Shouta looked out at the other students, watching the remorse and guilt cover most of their faces. He looked up at his boyfriend and whispered, "Toshi, please. Just leave it alone." The blonde looked down on him. "Absolutely not." He said, looking back out to the others. "Shouta Aizawa will be a hero and he will do it whether you like it or not. He was born to be a hero. I watch him work his ass off every single day after school. He has so much heart in him that he didn't even tell me about this." A smile came to the blonde's face, his gaze softening. "If you want to tease someone for being gay, well you better start coming after me too." Murmurs filled the cafeteria as Toshinori spoke. "I've been dating Shouta Aizawa for six months now. I met him before he started at U.A. and from the moment I saw him... I knew he is the person I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with. So if you want to act like a villain, do it to me. I will have absolutely no problem putting you in your place." Shouta's eyes widened as he watched Enji completely stand up, climbing up onto the table next to Toshinori. "I'm not gay but Yagi's right. This isn't right. Aizawa did absolutely nothing to any of you. As far as I'm concerned, you are nothing but villains. I want to be a hero, and Shouta is Yagi's boyfriend. I will protect him the same way I strive to beat Yagi for the Number One spot." Enji stated, his voice booming through the room. Hizashi, Oboro, and Nemuri all stood up and taking a spot in front of the two third years. "You'll have to go through us too. I'm not going to play nice anymore." Oboro hissed. "Be a villain. You won't last long here." Nemuri said, her normal sweet voice coming out harsh. Hizashi added, "I can't believe this is what U.A. has come too." Toshinori looked to the others with a smile. "You see, we belong to U.A. High, a pretigous school for heroics. If you want to be a hero, stop acting like someone who is different from you is beneath you. That's not who a hero is. At this moment, I'm disgusted that I even know some of you people." Toshinori said, hopping down from the table and standing in front of Shouta. "C'mon, let's go get you cleaned up." The blonde muttered, holding out his hand. Shouta smiled softly as he reached out and placed his hand in Toshinori's. He allowed the blonde to guide him out of the cafeteria and to the men's locker rooms. Neither of them said a word as Toshinori helped Shouta get out of his soaked uniform. The blonde hummed softly as he turned on one of the showers and scrubbed the food and soda out of the ebony locks. Toshinori didn't care as the water splashed onto his uniform as he continued to rub soothing circles into Shouta's scalp. "Why didn't you tell me, Shouta?" Toshinori questioned softly. Shouta shrugged with a sniffle. "I guess I was scared too. I don't know why. I thought I could handle it. I never meant for you to come out when you didn't want too." Shouta whispered, his voice shaking. Toshinori sighed, placing his thumb underneath Shouta's chin and forcing him to look up at him. "Shou, I don't care if anyone knows I'm gay. I'm still the same person I was before. If they want to treat me different than that's on them. I would shout it to the world that I'm stupidly in love with you." Toshinori said, using his other thumb to wipe off a stray tear that found it's way down Shouta's cheek. "I can't yell like Yamada-kun can but I would do it any day. You mean the world to me." Shouta gave a watery smile and leaned forward, placing his head against Toshinori's shoulder. "Thank you." Toshinori smiled, reaching over and shutting off the tap before pulling away from Shouta to hand him a gym uniform. "Now, put that normal scowl on your face and let's get back out there." Shouta nodded with a new found confidence. "Okay." x School was out for the day and Shouta laid in his bed with Toshinori next to him. The older teen held Shouta close to him, drawing random shapes into his back as Shouta cuddled closer. The ebony haired teen felt tears come to his eyes as the words from the bullies came back to his mind. Would it change now that the number one student in U.A. came out as gay. The same student that everyone was rooting for to be the Number One Hero. Toshinori just pulled him closer. "Don't let them get to you, Shou. They are nothing compared to you." The blonde muttered, placing a soft kiss into Shouta's hair. Shouta sighed. "It still hurts." Toshinori rubbed his hands over Shouta's back. "I know, Shou. For now, let's just lay here and forget the world. Even for a moment." Shouta smiled as he cuddled further into Toshinori. He craned his neck so he could see Toshinori's face. "I love you, Toshi." "I love you too, Shouta." Toshinori smiled, leaning forward and kissing Shouta deeply. The warmth of Toshinori's body against his, the feel of his arms wrapped around him, maybe just being held. It made him feel better, knowing that he had Toshinori by his side. Just Toshinori's smile told him that everything was going to be okay.

[yeosanqtuary]

gentle breeze - pt. 7

♡ - list of chapters

♡ - yungi chapter!

i want to cook for you forever, and watch your reactions each time.

i bet i’d never get sick of them.

“this is so good! what are you gonna cook for the next lesson?” hongjoong asked with his mouth full, and seonghwa chuckled. “i don’t know. it’s a surprise,���

“a surprise again? you have so many surprises today,” hongjoong swallowed his food, and gave him a bright smile. seonghwa felt heat rushing to his cheeks. he bit back a smile, awkwardly looking away from hongjoong. he felt as if his heart was going to burst out of his chest anytime too.

--

the next period was a free period, as their literature teacher couldn't make it to class. there was a relief teacher in place of him, but he let them do whatever anyway, since the class was pretty much all caught up.

"hongjoong!" ah, this voice, how stressful.

"yes, mingi," he deadpanned, not looking up at him. it strains his neck too much anyway.

"i heard you and seonghwa are friends now. is that true? it's not just some excuse to-" "i'm good, mingi, really! i promise," hongjoong cut him off, feeling a little annoyed. why did he care about him and seonghwa so much?

"okay, if you say so. that's good, then," mingi then pulled an empty chair next to hongjoong's table and sat backwards on it. hongjoong didn't really care about him and just let him be, and continued reading his literature textbook. the two sat in silence like that.

"h-hongjoong," mingi finally broke the silence.

"what,"

"u-um... what if... you did nothing wrong, but your best friend keeps avoiding you?" mingi's ears turned red, matching the colour of his sweater. his head was hung low when he asked that question.

"w-what?" hongjoong put his book down, placing all his attention on mingi. he raised his brow as mingi let out a frustrated sigh and messed up his hair.

"i did nothing wrong, but he keeps avoiding me! why? his replies are dry, he's using a lot of excuses to avoid seeing me, he's not even starting a conversation with me anymore!" mingi said this all at once, which made hongjoong raise both eyebrows.

"woah, who's the 'he'? yeosang? but you two were talking fine earlier... is it jisung? but you two aren't even close..." hongjoong thought out loud, rubbing his chin as he did so. he obviously knew who the guy was, he was just trying to tease mingi. it was so obvious, that even a fool would know about his crush on yunho. he might even know of it already without having mingi to confess.

"ah, dumbass. help me with this, i'm so hopeless, ah!" mingi let out another frustrated groan, rubbing his head harder.

"you just called me dumbass though,"

"yeah, i was joking around, sorry. please help me," mingi pleaded, clasping his hands together. hongjoong shook his head and sighed, what a dumbass.

"how long has yunho been avoiding you?" hongjoong directly asked, turning his body sideways so that he was facing mingi.

"hey! it's n-not y-yunho," mingi stuttered.

"yeah right. answer my question,"

"fine, it was yesterday, when you and seonghwa started being lovey-dovey,"

"..."

"he just left for class super early, and he didn't reply my texts at all. normally he would reply as soon as possible, and with more than three words, b-but now..."

"what did you do the day before? did you do anything that had pissed him off?"

well... maybe. i don't know.

--

tuesday evening.

mingi and yunho brought dinner back to their dorm and were silently enjoying their meal.

"mingi," yunho suddenly spoke, breaking the silence.

"mm?" mingi hummed back in response, lifting his gaze off his meal and shifting them into yunho's chcolate brown eyes.

"y-you wanna go take a walk?" his voice wavered as he asked the question, stirring mingi's heart strings up. "sure," was all he said before throwing his gummy smile at yunho.

he wondered what yunho wanted to do? it was 8pm, and taking a walk around the dorm buildings... that was kinda weird. but he didn't want to upset yunho, so he complied.

their dorm building, B, was a newer building and had five floors, compared to building A which only had three floors, so there was an elevator.

they reached the ground floor quickly, and headed to the field which had a rather nice view of the night sky.

"yunho, do you really think seonghwa and hongjoong are getting along?" mingi casually asked, walking with his hands in his jacket pockets. the nights were getting chillier as they entered the end of august.

"yeah. it seems believable," yunho shrugged, and looked up into the dark, night sky. the air was cool, the surroundings were quiet. just the right atmosphere. i wonder if i can say it today...

"mingi-ah-"

"yunho, what if seonghwa chased hongjoong out again? i feel bad for saying this, but i can't wait to see seonghwa acting up again, imagine him kicking hongjoong out..." mingi rambled on and on, sharing his thoughts about the two. he seemed to be very interested in them since yesterday. it wasn't even his problem, why was he so nosy? yunho cursed at him internally, getting frustrated. he didn't call him out on a walk to listen to all this!

"yunho? you good?" mingi had finally noticed that he wasn't paying any attention to him. yunho stopped in his tracks, and turned his body to face mingi.

"mingi, i don't get why you care about the two of them so much. you're always talking about them!" yunho exasperated, a frown forming on his face.

"a-ah, i'm sorr-"

"it's alright, there's no need to apologise. i was the one who asked you to come out for a walk anyway," yunho sighed, and turned around to head back to the dorm.

"oh, right! yunho, what did you want to say?"

"it's nothing, forget it," mingi jogged to catch up with him, feeling very apologetic. he might've wanted to tell me something important!

"yunho, please, if it's something important, please tell me!" he placed a hand on yunho's shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

"will you really listen?" he turned his head around, locking their gaze. his eyes were filled with so much emotions.

"of course!"

"song mingi, i like you. as in i want to date you. this isn't just infatuation or anything. i have felt this way since the first year of middle school," yunho confessed, not breaking eye contact with mingi for the entire time. they stayed like this, for a while, as mingi couldn't find the right words to say.

the silence broke yunho's heart, who thought mingi was probably disgusted. he shrugged his hand off his shoulder and strode away quickly. he didn't want to hear his crush insulting him. that would crush his heart into dust.

mingi, who was dumbfounded, stood rooted to the ground after yunho left. he... liked me? since middle school? til now?

and here, mingi thought yunho was probably straight and he had no chance of dating him.

it all started last year, when the both of them started living together under one roof. mingi had noticed yunho's small, cute habits, like how he always liked to take small sips from straws, and how he always had to brush his hair before he went to sleep.

despite being the clumsy one, yunho always took care of mingi, and he appreciated him for that. he was that kind of friend who would drop everything just to help you get along. he was also very gentle and patient with him, and never got angry at him once. he did everything carefully even the smallest of tasks–he was very responsible. an optimistic person, too. mingi thinks he will never have a breakdown.

not to mention, he was also very attractive... mingi started sweating.

"yunho!" silence. he looked around, but there was not a single soul around. oh right, he had already left!

"YUNHO!" mingi realised he had been standing still for 5 minutes. what a dumbass! he needed to tell yunho too! he needed to give him his answer! thus, he started sprinting back to the dorm, hoping he could catch yunho before he enters the elevator.

he turned a corner, and the elevator came into sight. its doors opened as yunho stepped in, and pressed the close button.

"YUNHO!!!" mingi shouted, which had caught yunho's attention, but he couldn't react in time, and the doors had already closed.

they lived on the third floor. how fast would the elevator go? would it be faster than him running up the stairs with his long legs?

in reality, he ran for what seemed like eternity, and finally reached the third floor, and sprinted to his dorm without taking a break.

he burst through the door, and caught sight of yunho just crawling into bed.

"j-jung yun...ho!" mingi panted, pushing the dood closed with his body and leaning against it, catching his breath.

yunho was surprised. he quickly pulled his blanket over his head, turning his body so that he was now facing the wall.

"y-yunho. don't i-ignore me, please,"

"i just don't want to hear you insulting me," yunho mumbled, but it was loud enough for mingi to hear in their small room.

"what?!"

"are you deaf? i don't want to hear you calling me disgusting, calling me a faggot, laughing at me! you already don't return my feelings, don't break my heart further!" yunho shot up on his bed, and faced him teary, but harsh eyes. he had shouted for the first time in a while.

"jung yunho, are you stupid?"

yunho broke into tears. "a-are you stupid? i just said i didn't want to hear you insulting me-"

"i like you too, you idiot!"

next ->

[leicheesprime]

it’s not all rainbows and unicorns.

Queer individuals don’t consistently see rainbows. They live in a plain world of black or white filled with hatred in which they are constantly hated and judged by the society, let alone the entire world, because they do not live up to the heterosexual norm.

These individuals are constantly reminded of what they are doing is wrong and sinful, they are portrayed as a stain in the society and are looked at with hateful eyes and disgust that lingers on the society’s lips. They often seek validation, approval and acceptance from the society because their own parents do not approve of such. This is where a sense of homophobia comes in. They live in an advanced world yet this world still contains traditional aspects, whereby the Biblical concept of Adam and Eve enters and in which the society consists of God fearing believers telling them that they created themselves, therefore, God did not create such creatures. They are told by the society that they will pray for them so that they can ‘heal’ from being homosexuals. They are being treated as if they contain some terminal disease in which prayer can only heal them from this ‘sickness’ depicted by the society and such interventions like conversion therapy are developed. The society assumes as if they have a mental sickness. They are literally hated for being different and for finding love within a different sexuality. They basically live in a world whereby heterosexuality is the ideal and perfect norm that humans should live up to. The LGBTQI+ community is consistently being told and judged that they created themselves in this manner just because they do not abide by the society’s standards and most importantly God’s rules and laws.

The Bible and the society constantly depicting you as an abomination, whereby the society being immensely judgemental, the very same Christians who believe that God is the one who can judge individuals, yet they are doing God’s job. The society then directs all the different types of stereotypes and hate towards you. Being told that ‘being too gay’ is a problem in which people make use of hate speech such as being called a ‘faggot’. People asking you who the male or the female is in the relationship in either gay or lesbian couples. They do not have the ability to conform within the society because they are different.  These individuals live in fear to the point where they are afraid of kissing their girlfriends (lesbians) or boyfriends (gay couple) or even hold hands in public due to the hateful eyes and the disgust that will pierce into you. Men thinking that it is normal to rape lesbian women thinking that they will become heterosexuals after the non-consensual act.  We live in a world where homophobic men and women watch lesbian porn yet they remain to judge homosexuals. We live in a world where bisexuals and/or pansexuals are told that we are confused, that we are hypocrites, that we should choose whether we are into males or females, that we do not know what we want. The society portrays a norm in which life is binary, that life is either this or that, that we should choose between black or white, being straight or homosexual. This makes it tremendously difficult for the LGBTQI+ community to embrace their sexuality in such a hateful world where they cannot love who they want to love.

All our lives, we are told what to do, who to love, what norms we should live up to, to a point where we do not have the ability to embrace our own sexualities. The brutal pain and fear that we live in is indescribable. Whenever we discover the courage to come out, we are always told that ‘you are going through a phase’, or ‘you haven’t found the right partner yet’, we are told these things by the very same people we call our parents and by the society. You know yourself more than anyone, you know that it is not a phase. It’s who you are. You did not choose to become this, instead you try to accept and embrace yourself despite the challenges you face on a daily basis. Do not be ashamed of your sexuality, although the society looks at you with shame and disgust. This world is tormenting and judgemental.  Although the society views you as a stain in the world, be a rainbow coloured stain 🌈.

[ravens-rambling]

Your OTP’s faces smooshed next to each other

A/N: *breaths* I am slowly but surely going through all these asks ahhh. I’m very sorry this isn’t as good anon! And it took forever and a day. But I hope you like it! 

WC: 1,225

ships: Romantic Prinxiety

warnings: Uuuhh not much really, mentions of bullying, use of the word ‘fag’, slight anxiety, kissing, cursing, slight crying

Tag List: @punsterterry @stormcrawler75 @frostedlover @mycatshuman @mutechild @panicattheeverywhere15 @thewinterbookqueen @analogical-mess @saddestlittlebabe

“Roman, I hate you so much right now.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault we got shoved into this closet! You’re the one who took the dare!”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think I’ll be put in here with you! I thought it’ll be Pat or L they are at least sufferable to deal with unlike you!”

“Oh, bo for you. Looks like we both are suffering here now aren’t we.”

Virgil stuck out his tongue at the other, though with how close they are to each other he was just a fraction of an inch away from straight up licking Roman’s cheek.

And that was disgusting to him.

Quickly he turned away though he tried to hide his slight blush. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that disgusting to him. And yes okay maybe he had a slight…big time crush on Roman. How could he not though everyone in school does! Even the chicks and Roman has told the girls plenty of times that he’s gay. And still, they didn’t light up.

Course he had to be the one to fall in love with this jerk.

And be caught in this stupid dare with him.

Honestly, he did secretly wish for Roman to be the one he’s stuck with even though he does drive him nuts cause honestly? This is properly as close as he’ll ever get to him… How lucky is he?

He huffed, “Well to pass by the time why couldn’t you answer that truth question? Am I really that enjoyable to hang out with?”

He glanced back to see Roman rolling his eyes, “Please if so. You really want to know why?”

“Sure. Though can you move your knee. It’s up my ass.”

This was a really tight closet.

“Oh yeah sure. Well, one I didn’t want to admit it but I do have a crush.”

Virgil raised his hopes, just for a bit. Maybe it’s him? No, it properly isn’t it. What is he kidding?

“Really? Do tell.”

“And I didn’t want to tell the room that my crush was in the room with me so…here we are.”

“Really, Princey?” He raised his eyebrows, “Couldn’t swallow your pride for one moment could you?”

As if on cue Roman smiled at him as he turned his hair waving along with him, he blew a kiss, “Nope.”

And cue Virgil’s cheeks growing bright red again, luckily there wasn’t enough light in here for Roman to tell thank god. This stupid dare is going to kill him, it really is. This is his last day alive.

He tried to play it off by coughing, “Well. If that’s the case would you tell me who this guy is?”

“No can do,” Roman frowned, “You uh…might know him.”

“Have you met me? I only have a few friends. I highly doubt I know him Princey.”

“Oh no, you know him.”

“Oh god is it Patton?”

“What!” He looked so flabbergasted and shocked that Virgil knew he was telling the truth, sure Roman’s a good actor but even he could tell this wasn’t acting, “No! I mean he’s a sweetheart but nah, not my type.”

“Logan then? I mean you guys are always bickering maybe you two have a fighting kink or something.”

“Dear god stop talking right now. There is no fucking way I’ll ever bang him. Just stop, stop.”

“Well, those are my only two friends. What do you want from me? I am the social outcast here. Ya know the whole ‘bad luck emo faggot’ that everyone loves to name me. And yes some people have named me that.”

Virgil didn’t see it more as he felt it, Roman winched at that name. Maybe that name hurt him too. Course who knows maybe he was bullied before he came to this school? No way anybody would call Roman names here… Unless they want their head cut off that is.

“Well no, you’re wrong… Your gonna have me spell it out for you aren’t I?”

Okay, now Virgil was really lost here, “Uh… Yeah, I think so, unfortunately…?”

Now the other teen sighed loudly then he looked to the corner and mumbled something.

“Sorry what? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“I SAID ITS YOU VIRGE! It’s…you…that I have a crush on.”

The emos eyes went wide. His heart skipped a beat as his mind went a thousand miles at once.

Roman Prince…

The Roman Prince likes him???

But he’s… Virgil.

Virgil who is a nobody. An outcast. Somebody who everyone takes one glance at and looks away like he’s made of shit. Somebody that everyone just uses and tosses away like his trash.

This can’t be real.

“Did somebody dare you to say that? Are people swapping money out there while listening in? Haha, guys very funny! Wonderful joke!” He looked down at his phone, “And I think this stupid dare is over. I’m heading home. Nice chatting with you, Roman. See you Monday right? As normal. Bye.”

But as he moved to open the door a hand caught his jacket. Teary dark eyes looked over to see the other…with his head down. “Please… Virge… It’s not a dare. It’s not a trick… I really do like you… I know that this situation might seem like its a joke but I’m serious. I haven’t had a chance to tell you to cause…well, I didn’t know the time or place… Please…” That’s when he finally moved his head up and oh god, he really did look brokenhearted if the tears coming down his face wasn’t enough indication.

“Y-You do?”

Roman nodded, “Patton told me a few weeks ago that you liked me don’t be mad at him I begged him to tell me. But Virge I-”

He was cut off by lips smacking against his. They seemed to melt together into one as they kissed, sure it was uncomfortable being in such a tight space like this, but neither of them seemed to have a care in the world about that. And sure their dare was almost up so anybody could open the door on them. But who gives a shit.

Roman’s hand moved from his arm up to his cheek as he slowly cupped it, very gently he held the other closer to his kiss. While the other raised his hand to hold Roman’s head steady.

It was a passionate kiss, a kiss full of want and need. A kiss that was long since overdo. A kiss that they only had dreamed of, that they couldn’t believe was happening right at this very moment.

They didn’t even stop when they heard a door opening and coos and whistling soon after.

“Yeah! I’m so proud of you two!! Lo, look at this-”

“Patton if you don’t shut up and close that door right now I will melt your face off.” Virgil only drew away to say that then as soon as he did go right back to kissing.

“Sure… Ya… Whatever you say V! Just gotta…” They heard a few clicks of a camera phone and Virgil had to resist to groan. He’s gonna post that everywhere now is he? Oh well. This was more important at the moment. Then finally they heard a door close.

Once they did Roman mumbled, “Wow you really want privacy don’t you?”

“Oh shut up Princey and kiss me some more would you?”

[netflixonyourcouch]

Euphoria Season 1, Episodes 4 & 5

I got caught up last week and didn’t get to post anything about 4, and I just watched 5, so I’ll roll it all into one.  

Before I start, can we take a moment and appreciate Jules’ “fits?”  She’s like r/streetwear’s wet dream.

Spoilers after:

Episode 4 was really great.  The whole carnival setting had a surreal, almost dream-like feel to it. Much of this was achieved by the stunning technical camerawork.  All of the stunning pans, swoops, zooms and cuts made you feel like you were swirling all through the carnival.  On top of that, the soundtrack was busy and conveyed tension and suspense.  

Lots of characters and little plot points were advanced/developed in this episode despite the bulk of it taking place at the carnival.  You have Kat slipping further away from a quote-unquote “normal relationship” and more toward hedonism/hookup culture.  Jules and Cal cross paths again.  Cassie and Mckay’s falling out kind of shows us how Cassie demonstrates her sexuality and (let’s call a spade a spade) orgasming on the merry-go-round hints at her being a nymphomaniac. Meanwhile Rue sees the residual impact of her drug use when she catches her little sister smoking pot.

The writers stuffed all these advancements like a Trojan horse inside of a “fun” episode.  

The final showdown between Nate and Jules delivered the dramatic payoff that we were all waiting for.  I was on Reddit in a collective panic with the rest of the people who were watching at the same time.  “I think you’re a fucking faggot just like your daddy,” was delivered perfectly by Hunter Schafer, who absolutely bodied her display of fear, disgust and aggression all at once.

Now onto episode 5.

This episode dialed back the experimental shit and just delivered mostly on drama - something I was afraid the series was incapable of doing, and something I’m glad that the writers actually know how to deliver without all of the flashy tricks.  Specifically, I think we can commend the job this episode did with handling domestic violence and at how it shows how different people react to abuse.  I was glad that Nate didn’t slip his way out of this one due to his father’s prominence in the community.  I love how defeated Cal looks when he realizes he can’t hush Maddy’s parents up and his son could potentially face real fucking consequences. Let’s hope there are consequences - however - I still want to point out that I think we were all expecting him to get away with it and I think the show actually subverts expectations by not letting Nate off the hook.  Also, just how good is Nate at being a sociopath - his coy confession to the police detective was perfectly acted.  

Maddy, on the other hand, perfectly embodied victimhood.  We know that it’s difficult for abuse victims to leave their partners and Euphoria shows how, especially in this modern age, how difficult that can be.  Nowadays there are countless ways to reach people; social pressure and just simply the belief that the abuser still loves you.  Which is why I damn near clapped when the female officer told Maddy, “Whoever did this to you doesn’t love you.”

I don’t know how to feel about Kat.  On one hand, she’s “owning” her sexuality or whatever, on the other hand, she’s a minor that’s fucking grown men.  Not a fan.

Then there’s this bit about Rue and Jules.  Do the writers read tumblr/fandom?  Because I feel like yall definitely made “Rules” a thing and that they scrambled to shoot and retrofit that tattoo scene in the episode for fanservice.  Also, Jules is feeling the pressure of Rue replacing her dependency on drugs with her dependency on the relationship and it shows.

This series just took a sharp increase in the quality of its writing.  I’m excited to finish off the rest of the season.

[violetnuisance]

The Pure Attract The Toxic

Pairing: Travis Phelps/Larry Johnson Rating: Explicit Words: 2,224 “Larry Johnson was an enigma, a terribly troubling conundrum.”

a/n: There isn’t nearly enough content for these boys, and it’s depressing. This is a multichaptered fic (5 chapters in total). This first chapter will probably be the only I post to Tumblr. I will, however, post a link to my ao3 whenever the fic is updated.

Larry Johnson was an enigma, a terribly troubling conundrum.

He had greasy, slick backed hair that was left unwashed more than it was ever washed. The lights from high school reflected off the messy mane, exposing how absolutely filthy it actually was. If Travis stared too hard, he was sure he could make out the white flakes of dandruff from the lack of hygiene Larry paid to his hair. It made the blond’s stomach churn, made him want to take the scissors from his kitchen drawer and saw the nasty locks off. He wouldn't be satisfied until he had left the brunet with a slipshod haircut, scalp exposed in some spots from cutting it too close.

However, there was the rare day that Larry showed up to school with his hair properly washed. It was frizzy and wavy from being crudely dried by the air conditioning in his rusty pickup truck, but it was clean nonetheless. When it was washed, Ash would run a brush through Larry’s hair during homeroom despite his bemoaning, and Sal would play with it casually when he sat behind the brunet in classes. On those days, Travis caught himself staring too hard at Larry.

Larry caught Travis staring at him too hard too.

The first time their eyes clashed, Travis had nearly caved in from a disturbing mixture of embarrassment and disgust. The blond had stiffened in his chair, fingers clenching around his purple pen as Larry glared at him. The brunet’s lips curled back in disgust, and he redirected his attention back to the teacher before Travis could return the sneer. The blond had fumed from where he sat, scribbling his notes down a little harder than normal that class.

The second time Larry caught Travis staring, the brunet rolled his eyes before tuning back into the lecture they were supposed to be paying attention to. Travis had let out a harsh huff before tearing a piece of notebook paper out of his binder a little louder than necessary. Each fleeting moment they had where their gazes connected ended up in Larry letting out a sign of annoyance and Travis feeling the urge to punch someone.

However, there was one instance where the golden rule didn’t hold true.

Larry had swiveled around in his seat in their calculus class one day, undoubtedly to talk to Sal, but happened to catch Travis staring for the millionth time before he could begin a conversation with the blue haired male. At first, he had just raised both of his brows at the blond, obviously exasperated and confused as to why this was such a common occurrence between them. Travis had lowered his lids into a glare, refusing to look away from the other out of shame of being caught. It was then, the exact moment that Travis could pinpoint as his sanity slipping from his mind’s grasp, that Larry Johnson winked at him.

The brunet’s lips had pulled tight into a monstrous grin, showing off the stupid gap between his two front teeth and the array of snaggled teeth behind them as Travis’s skin had erupted into a vibrant flush. The blond had averted his gaze in record speed, but he could still feel the other’s stare smothering him. His hands shook, smearing ink from the notes he was desperately trying to jot down until Larry turned his attention away from him.

Travis thought he would get off scotch free, despite the unusual reaction from Larry. The brunet hadn’t done as much as throw him a single other glance during their shared classes for that day, and Travis couldn’t help but let relief wash over him as the last bell rang. He threw his belongings haphazardly into his messenger bag before barging out of the classroom door and navigating the crowded halls until he was out of the school's doors and walking towards the parking lot. It wasn’t until he was in sight of his bicycle chained to the lot’s chain link fence did he swallow in trepidation. He blinked his eyes furiously as he walked closer, begging for the figure that was leaned against the fence by his bike to be nothing more than a trick his eyes were playing on him.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” a low voice chuckled, and Travis had to face the fact that the figure wasn’t a mirage. He took a deep breath before he looked up, staring Larry down as best as he could as he approached his bike. The taller male just smirked pack, raising a hand to brush his brown hair back behind his ear from where the wind had whipped it into his face.

“No, just a damned soul,” Travis replied, voice coming out monotonous. Larry snorted at the comment and shifted his weight to the side. His hands dug their way into his jean pockets as the wind blew harder, no doubt cutting through his thin faux leather jacket.

“Is that why you’ve been ogling me so hard? My damned aura too much for you?” Larry leaned down closer to Travis, and the blond crinkled his nose. The pungent stench of cigarette smoke wafted from the brunet’s breath, and Travis wondered how many years the nasty habit would take off Larry’s life. Larry’s tongue darted across his lips, worsening their chapped state as Travis struggled to formulate a reply. “Or do you think I’m pretty?”

No, if there was one thing that Travis knew, it was that the beast standing in front of him was not pretty in any aspect of the word. Dark circles marred the area underneath his squinted eyes, clear evidence of nights spent doing God-knows-what instead of resting. His nose was unproportionally large to the rest of him, and Travis wondered if the thing affected Larry’s balance. And even if Larry hadn’t pried his braces off back in junior high, his smile would still be revolting from the plaque buildup coating his teeth.

“There’s nothing remotely attractive about you,” Travis bleated out, honesty coming out cruel. Larry leaned back, lips pressing into a firm line. It took the brunet a few moments to respond, obviously trying to figure out how to recover the situation he wanted to instigate.

“I swear that when you were a blushing mess earlier you could’ve thought otherwise,” Larry suggested, shrugging his shoulders. Travis tensed, shoving the strap of his bag farther up on his shoulder.

“Buzz off faggot,” he snipped, leaning down to undo the chain on his bike. Larry was faster though, hand clasping around the lock before the blond could touch it. They both stood in an awkward half-squatted position, and Travis looked back up to sneer at Larry. However, he was distracted from the way the brunet’s ratty band shirt hung on him in this position. The collar gaped down far enough for Travis to view the way the other’s freckled skin stretched over his collarbones before his eyes traveled further down Larry’s chest, only stopping when the other cocked his head.

“If you’re going to undress me, don’t just do it with your eyes,” Larry teased. Travis stood up, acting like he had just been shocked. The brunet slowly followed suit and stretched his arms over his head. Travis pretended to not ogle the brunet’s hip bones as the shirt was hiked up, and Larry pretended not to notice as he brought his arms back down to his sides. “I think we’ll be seeing more of each other,” the brunet stated before finally leaving Travis.

The blond watched him go with wary eyes, feeling thoroughly disturbed. His skin itched, and he had never needed to take a scalding shower more. He let out a sigh before bending down to unchain his bike.

- - -

Travis’s legs felt like jelly when he had finally hopped of his bike, letting it fall on its side in his gravel driveway. He had pounded the pedals more viciously than he ever had, needing to get home, so he could stop the insufferable itching that built up under his skin. His eyes did a quick scan of his driveway as he briskly walked to the door, noting that neither of his parents were home yet. All the better.

His legs carried him into the building and up the stairs as fast as they could. He made a pitstop in his room to toss his bag on the bed before he continued his rampage to the bathroom.

Once the door was shut behind him, he paused. A slow breath, one he didn’t know he had been holding, drug past his lips. His shoulders relaxed a bit, but he was still so terribly tense. As if to prove it, his right eyebrow twitched as the anxiety continued to well within him. Eager to try and rid himself of some of the emotion, he finally pulled the shower curtain back. The plastic made a creaking sound under his death grip causing Travis to cringe at the unsatisfying noise. His other hand pawed at the spicket until the spout hissed to life, water spurting out slowly before jetting out. The blond quickly ducked his head out of the area, not wanting to wet his clothes.

His fingers were quick to latch onto the bottom of his sweater and pull it over his head. After the garment was discarded on the floor, he awkwardly hopped around for balance as he pulled off his socks. His pants and boxers were the last to be pulled off and strewn across the floor.

Travis’s eyes caught his reflection’s in the mirror above the bathroom sink as his fingers worked at the clasp on his necklace. He stared at himself and paused his ministrations, letting the cross fall back against his skin, perfectly sitting between his collarbones. He ever rarely took the accessory off, only discarding it to bathe and sleep. However, his stomach began to lurch at the thought of unclasping it this once for him to get into the shower. Too many emotions were clouding his head, and the necklace was safe for him. It was a gentle reminder for him to not do anything idiotic. The blond pursed his lips, feeling overly stupid for standing naked and staring at himself. Shaking his weird thoughts off, he kept the necklace on and stepped into the shower, pulling the curtain closed behind him.

The steaming water immediately hit against his bare skin, and Travis let out a low hiss. He wouldn’t normally run it this hot, but he needed the slight discomfort to clear his head. His body stood still as the water began to run down his abdomen in rivlets. Steam began to fog up the small area, and his skin was becoming flushed because of the heat. As he grew accustomed to the unfamiliar temperature, his hands finally felt for the shampoo. His eyes fell shut as he squeezed a small amount of the soap into his palm before lathering his hair up with it. His eyebrows furrowed and eyes shut tighter than needed as he raked his fingers through his locks, being none too gentle when passing through knots.

There had been a fervor in all of his actions that day that wasn't normally present, and showering was no exception. By the time he had washed himself, angry red welts ran up random areas of his body from where his nails dug a little too harsh into himself. Travis’s eyes stared dumbly at the tub beneath him as he watched what little remaining water was left flow down the drain. Goosebumps erupted along his skin from the absence of the hot water, and his toes stretched and curled into the tile beneath him. His attention was only directed from the tub’s floor when the gurgling of the drain sounded, signaling it was time for him to get out.

Exhaustion hit him as he clambered out of the shower. His hands rubbed at his face in an attempt to ward off the sluggishness. He still needed to get through his nightly bible reading and get some homework done before he could let himself rest. However, his eyes threatened to droop closed as he wrapped a towel around his hips and gathered all of his dirty clothes. It wasn’t fair that one interaction between him and Larry could wipe him out both emotionally and physically, but he persevered. He slipped out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, making sure to drop his clothes into the hamper that sat by his doorway.

After pulling on a new pair of boxers and a housecoat to preserve his modesty, Travis sat cross legged on his bed. His fingers were curled around his favorite copy of the bible. The cover was worn, and an assortment of sticky notes poked out from the edges of the book, marking some of his favorite passages. Just having the book in his hands did help relieve his turmoil some, and a soft smile played at his lips.

Maybe Larry Johnson was a test for Travis. His fingers scrambled against his nightstand until they made purchase with a highlighter. He opened the book with one hand and tugged the cap off the highlighter with his teeth. With revived energy, he flipped open to Romans 1:26-28.

The verse had always been one of his Father’s favorites.