#Do you see the lost potential here? I'm furious at myself for not seeing it sooner.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Game night ruined.

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[whumpshaped]

Chapter 2: Sil

Silence Masterlist

tw institutionalised/normalised pet whump, it/its used as a default for pets, past trauma, morally dubious caretaker, defiant/feral whumpee

Rayan sat on the ground a few feet away from the stray as it ate. He was lost in thought, quietly observing the visible injuries and weird bumps under its skin. Bones healed wrong, maybe.

The more he thought about this entire situation, the more he found himself absolutely furious with the pet’s previous owner. He had wanted a pet his entire life. He had grown up wanting one, seeing how happy and lively and perfect they were, knowing that if he was just a little more fortunate, worked just a little harder, get out of his one-bedroom dwelling and move into something a tiny bit more spacious, maybe the Pet Protection Agency would consider him as a potential adopter. He had always been so passionate about wanting to give poor, helpless things a better life, that was precisely why he was so obsessed with helping the stray cats and dogs around the area. His ultimate goal was to get one of the pets out of a shelter and give it a loving home, the best home he possibly could. 

And then there were people like this guy’s owner. He couldn’t fathom having the wealth and opportunity to adopt a pet and then treating it like utter garbage. He couldn’t fathom how the PPA could’ve given someone like that a licence in the first place. Wasn’t there an interview? Weren’t they supposed to check up on pets regularly? How did they miss this? 

His new acquaintance put down the cup gently, almost like it was handling expensive glass or something. Quite out of character for someone moving around so jerkily, and who had pretended not to care much for the soup in the first place.

"My name's Rayan. May I ask what your name is?" He kept his voice quiet, both so he could avoid startling it, and so others on the street wouldn't hear.

"Wouldn't we both like to know?" It choked out a dry laugh, devoid of any joy or amusement. "Owner called me mutt, or that thing. It. I'm not sure I ever had a name, Rayan." His name felt like an insult coming from the pet, as if he was in the wrong for simply having one when it didn't.

Rayan frowned. "Well, do you wanna have one? You could give me anything. Make something up. Go back and change it later if you come up with something better... surely, you don't want me to call you those things?"

"Why do you need to call me anything?" it snapped suddenly. "You're making it sound like you'll just stick around and humour me forever! Why don't you go on your way already?" 

"I- well..." Rayan rubbed the back of his neck anxiously, awkwardly, looking for words that wouldn't upset the other. He wasn't sure words like that existed. "I was hoping I'd find you here tomorrow, like... like always. Well, for the past week. And that I'd have a name to call you by when I came back."

The stray's eyes narrowed in suspicion, but it didn't lash out again. In fact, it didn't react at all, which was already better than the outburst a moment ago. Rayan counted it as a win.

"Think about it, okay?" he said with what he hoped was a friendly and pleasant smile. "I'll take this stuff back now. I'll bring you more tomorrow, if... you know, if you're still here. If I didn't annoy you into leaving and finding another place."

He slowly inched closer and grabbed the bowls and the plate with the cup on it, still without getting a single word in response. It was only when he turned to leave that he heard a quiet voice from behind him, so unlike the harsh tone he had just gotten used to.

"I've been calling myself Sil. In my head. I was always told to be silent, so I guess I just took it and ran with it."

Rayan stopped and glanced back at the stray, Sil, nodding his understanding without giving any indication that he noticed the faint blush on its face. "Sil it is, then."

"Will you really come back tomorrow?" it asked, prompting him to fully turn back around. "Am I really worth it, compared to a dog?"

"Hey." Rayan crouched down to be at eye-level with it. "I'll be back, as long as you want me to. You could even come home with me." Sil visibly recoiled at the idea, and he quickly added, "It's just an option. Just letting you know. All I'm saying is, I'll be back tomorrow. For sure."

"Okay," it said quietly, watching Rayan stand up again with those sharp eyes that seemed to catch even the smallest of movements. The eyes of someone that had been hurt by those movements.

"See you tomorrow, Sil."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @whump-queen @whump-blog @alexkolax @ha-ha-one @hidden-dreamland @looptheloup @batfacedliar-yetagain @oddsconvert

[cherokeegal1975]

Still trying to get attention for my work. This was one of the most difficult projects I've ever done. So, partly out of boredom and partly because I believe in my work even no one else does, I'm posting this again.

This audiobook is only available on YouTube. I was going to submit it to Audible, but I realized that it's not the same high quality as the work I've heard done by professional readers. I'm not saying it's terrible either. It's also available on Amazon as a Kindle ebook or as a paperback book. This cover art you see here is available on the Kindle book and would have been on the paperback, but for some reason, Amazon wouldn't let me use it. The cover illustration is by Alicia Luma, a.k.a Noonibean on DeviantART. I'll forever appreciate her help. The cover art for the paperback book is by myself...not as fancy, but serviceable.

Here is the synopsis of my novel:

Johnathan was a family man and cargo runner and had no interest in getting entangled in royal affairs. So, when a deposed and fleeing princess arranges a meeting to give him a package to keep safe, he was reluctant to take it. But she convinced him to hide the royal seal until she needed it back despite himself. Unknown to him, she had also tricked him into carrying another precious cargo.

When Johnathan learns of the trick, he’s furious. When he confronts the princess about it, he learns it’ll be impossible to return it before it’s appointed time. Then she tells him of an unbreakable bond between them and ends a long search for someone he had lost as a boy. So, instead of revenge, he does what he can to help her. He must also avoid capture; the King would execute Johnathan if he ever found out about his secret cargo.

================================================

I actually hate most mpregs. I've only found 1% to even be close to passible, much less any good. But the online dumpster dive for literary fan fics and original works did give me some insight on the minds of the writers. I really did give them a fair chance. Used what I learned to create these characters that were in this one chapter. Gay werewolves, before I knew they were a popular theme. Not all of them were gay, just the pack leaders.

I even have some illustrations I did...except for the two colored ones, those are by Alicia Luma:

I don't know when or if I'll ever come back to drawing illustrations for my novels. I don't have a lot of time and lately, I've had a horrible time trying to stay awake as I'm drawing. So, I'm taking a break from art until I can stay awake. I was going to put my own work into an illustrated version of my novel, but I think I'd rather let someone else more skilled and can dedicate more time and energy into the project than I can to do that job if I can ever afford to hire someone. Illustrating a book is a huge undertaking and in the beginning I didn't realize how much until I finished the fourth drawing! Oh well, I learned.

I think it'll be fun to try when I can finally get back to it.

So, buy my book if you want. If not, I'd be happy to hear what you think. This book has been one fun experiment to see if I could turn what most people make into a plot stinker into a good story as a whole. One of the rare people that did write me about this novel said this was a like a wholesome movie. I rather liked that.

Anyway, the more feedback the better. I treasure the rare ones I do get...except for the one that translated out from a language I don't recognize as, "This is shit." I won't forget it, but I don't think it's worth my time an energy to even bother to be upset about it. I still believe in my work's potential. I'm just super curious as to what other people think about it.

[lovethisletters]

The Bat & The Lantern || Batman x Reader

Hi, lovely! I had so much fun writing this (I'm not gonna lie, I was quite nervous at first, since I don't know that much about the whole green lantern universe, but guess it turned out...ok?) so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did and to be honest, I would like to revisit this story again in the future!

Little disclaimer: The reader is a Human green lantern but similar to star-lord she lived the majority of her life in space, that's why she's so oblivious as to whom Batman is, also this takes place during Dick Grayson early years as robin (12-13).

Word count: 2233!!!

Summary: Reader is a new member of the Justice League...but Batman doesn't seem too happy about it.

Keys: Y/S/N: Your Superhero Name | Y/N: Your (real) Name.

Hal Jordan was your friend since you joined the green lanterns (which it was barely 3 or 4 years ago)

Basically...you were "new"

But that didn't stop your fellow green lanterns (?) From seeing all your potential.

Everyone is convinced that with the right training and perseverance, you will become one of the greatest green lanterns of all time.

So, it didn't take long before you proved yourself to be capable enough to join the big leagues.

More specifically, The Justice League.

Hal was the one to introduce you to his companions.

The Amazonian, the human looking alien, the speedster, the other Alien not so human looking, the half robot; everyone was so nice to you since they met you.

Everyone except...The grumpy bat.

When you first introduced yourself, he didn't even bother to be as welcoming as the others.

He just stood there, looking all big and serious that you almost thought it was a statue or the poor guy had catatonic lapses or was way too shy or socially awkward to approach you.

You felt bad, so you approached him instead.

—Hi! I'm Y/S/N...—You said enthusiastically before being abruptly interrupted.

—I know, I heard your introduction already—His voice so devoid of any kind of emotion that you may as well had been talking to a machine.

"Scanning complete, Batman"

A voice inside his cowl informed him, it sounded like an older man with a British accent.

—Thank you, I'll check it later.

That’s when it hit you…the reason why he was watching you so intensely and standing so incredibly still: He was scanning you.

Fucking. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

You stayed there, your face paralyzed with surprise and anger, without knowing very well what to answer; you didn't want to cause a scene on your first day, but this man was just so rude; That is not an appropriate way to receive a new member. yes, it is normal to have suspicions, but you would appreciate if he had the decency to let his suspicions be known when you weren't present.

—she just introduced herself and already on with the paranoic behavior, Bats? seriously? —Hal stepped in your defense.

—this is a routine procedure; I'm just being cautious.

—He was like that at the beginning with all of us too, don’t worry he’ll warm up to you in no time—Wonder woman whispered in your ear after watching your uncomfortable expression.

Ultimatedly you decided to listen to the amazonian and let that one slide, “is normal to be wary of new things anyways” you repeated yourself.

As the months passed you have grown quite frustrated. Between all the missions and meetings even though you felt your relationship with the rest of the team grow closer and they began to trust you and respect you; your relationship with the Batman stayed pretty much the same.

Yes, there was a bit of progress….a bit.

He was bit more talkative to you, a bit more “friendly”, a bit more trusting.

But it was always just a bit never actually fully a teammate to you, your relationship felt more like distant coworkers.

At the beginning it didn’t worry you too much, until your lack of communication started to mess with your performance in the missions, sometimes something completely bizarre and unexpected would happen and because both of you didn’t know each other very well, the mission would take the double amount of time to resolve since you couldn’t coordinate at all.

One time he almost ran you over with his batwing…

The whole thing was kinda funny looking back on it but at the time you were furious (rightfully so)

In his defense, he didn’t knew you were there…I mean…you basically where standing in his parking spot (not that you knew there was such a thing, most members could fly or at least jump really high, so you kinda always forgot he couldn’t…and to be honest you didn’t know his exact powers)

—Sorry—was all he said as he got out of the strangely shaped flying vehicle and directed only one glance at you to make sure you where ok before entering the building, always maintaining that characteristic calm and cold demeanor.

One day you entered the hall of justice earlier than usual only to find an unexpected guest sitting in one of the empty chairs his gaze fixated on a book, he was wearing a rather colorful suit of some sort matching his green mask, then you realized when you were close enough…he was a C H I L D.

You panicked, why was a child here? Is he some sort of mini spy? How was he able to get through the security system?  Did he touch anything dangerous?

This and many more questions ran through your mind, the child noticed you were looking at him and only gave a polite nod as a greeting before returning his attention to his book.

Perhaps a school trip that you weren’t aware of was taking place and this kid strayed from his class? Perhaps he was looking for one of your teammates to ask for a photo and got lost and decided to wait here for his teacher? That will explain why everyone wasn’t here in the meetings room, perhaps they were busy giving the (hypothetical) group of children a tour?

—Hey kiddo! Are you lost? —you began the conversation in a friendly tone before kneeling down a little in order to appear less imposing…after all he was a child you didn’t wanna scare him.

He looked at you so incredulously.

You could almost hear him think “ma’am wtf are you doing???” through his expressions.

—What’s your name?

—Ummm…uh…Robin?­—He spoke like it was something obvious  while signaling the “R” symbol on his chest.

—Robin, uh? What a pretty name! tell me Robin…why are you here? Are you lost?

Poor boy he was so confused, you didn’t know who he was? Didn’t any of the members told you about him? And more importantly…Why where you talking to him like if he was a 5-year-old?

—No, ma’am…I’m just waiting for Batman.

“Batman? Was he a fan of Batman of all superheroes?”  It surprised you a bit, usually kids tend to like superman or wonder woman more since they are nicer and charismatic, and Batman was the opposite.

—Sorry Kiddo, I don’t think he’s one for photos, perhaps you could ask the others some other time! ­— you began explaining trying to dissuade the kid while guiding him towards the exit.

—He’s not here for photos—smooth as ever…the Bat was behind you.

—He’s my sidekick.

Your jaw dropped, a sidekick? He’s a CHILD! You knew superheroes had sidekicks, but you never knew they were that young!

Before you could even begin to protest, Batman ignored you, looking down at the child and instructing him to collect his things.

—Hurry, you’ll be late for class again. — He said before disappearing behind the door that led to his parking spot.

Robin quickly followed, hanging his backpack over his shoulder before stopping in his tracks directing an apologetic smile towards you and saying:

—Don’t worry miss, I can take care of myself! — He must have noticed the concern on your face before leaving.

Since that day your routine changed.

You would wake up earlier, many times you’ll be the first to arrive to the Hall of justice, and even have breakfast flying on your way there all for one thing: Robin.

Once you learned he was Batman’s sidekick you couldn’t help but worry over that poor child, “what if he gets hurt? Is he eating/sleeping/resting properly?” you just couldn’t help yourself.

At first it was just checking on the kid by just…seeing him in the morning and greeting him casually but there were times he wasn’t there, and you would panic internally and there was no other way to calm your anxiety until you would ask the Bat about the child.

He would always replay shortly: “He’s at home” “He’s at school” “He’s busy” and your conversations always would end there.

One day that Robin was there however, instead of your usual ‘greeting nod’ he started talking to you.

He asked you all sorts of things (that weren’t compromising to your real identity ofc) “What’s your favorite color?” “What music do you like?” “What’s your favorite movie?”

And it started from there.

The conversations with Robin grew not only more frequent but also more personal (as personal as someone with a superhero lifestyle can be), to the point it had become a routine for you to come early and talk to the boy, sometimes you had breakfast together or even helped him with his homework before the Bat would take him to school.

Perhaps it was because you didn’t have many acquittances here on earth, but Robin became family to you.

And family takes care of each other.

It had been a rather difficult and spontaneous mission; Lex Luthor was starting to act a little bit fishy (more than usual) using his connections and money Luthor had been acquiring/robbing very specifically concerning items all over the US, his next objectives: a Radion sample being investigated in a secret laboratory in Star city and a Dionesium sample...contained in the Wayne tower laboratories...

The team decided to split to put a stop to Luthor’s minions and his plan.

The Bat insisted the rest of the team should go to Star city, telling them that he and Robin could handle it, but everyone was immediately against it: Luthor had already collected relatively powerful items and being the intelligent motherfucker he is, probably transformed some of those items to give to his goon’s so they might have a chance in harming any of the members if they were to interfere.

Ultimately, the team agreed you and cyborg would accompany them to Wayne Tower.

Robin was stoked, he would get the opportunity to fight alongside you! But Batman…not so much…he kept trying to lose the two of you on the way there; fortunately, cyborg put a tracker on the batwing, he wasn’t going to get rid of you that easy.

Upon your arrival, you could spot several men (armed like if they were military but with a much more upgraded equipment) already leaving the building, carrying two tanks (presumably full of that substance Martian Manhunter had mentioned before) and heading to a truck without any plates.

Long story short: you organized a plan as quickly as you could but…something went wrong…Cyborg and Robin were supposed to create a distraction while the two of you recovered the tanks without damaging them, since the properties of the substance within remained unknown.

But something went wrong: You and Batman failed to coordinate and so you were spotted by the henchmen, they started aiming their weapons at the two of you, initially you thought a force field generated by the power of your ring would be enough...oh no, honey, you’re so wrong.

Sonic weapons were able to not only break your concentration quickly, but also made your ears bleed! One after another you kept re-making the fields, but the sonic waves so deathly and loud just kept coming.

You don’t know how but you were able to stand your ground long enough to make cover not only for Batman and allow him to get the tanks back safely but also for the rest of your team and give them a slight advantage to take down as many of Luthor’s minions as they could.

And then…you passed out.

You woke up at the infirmary in Justice Hall, your head a mess and wrapped in bandages, you had broken your arm because that shit inside a cast too for some reason…and…your ring was gone!

Panic!

No, never mind it was on the nightstand next to the chair in which batman was sitting on.

WAIT…next to the chair in which batman was sitting on?!?!?!

—How are you feeling? — you didn’t know if it was him suddenly talking or the genuine concern on his voice that startle you, so you just nodded slightly while he approached you.

—Can you hear me properly? —Surprisingly you could, but you still were a bit taken aback by his presence.

—I…­—Before responding your brain reminded you of the fact that you didn’t had your ring on, hence your secret identity was revealed to Batman. Your hands practically flew to your face in embarrassment. You didn’t know why but without your mask you felt naked and vulnerable.

He noticed.

His gaze studying your pained expression before he let out a small sigh.

—I came here…to thank you…and apologize— hesitantly his hands moved to the back of his cowl.

—You not only put yourself in danger for Cyborg and Robin, but you also concerned yourself with my safety even when it was probably my fault that we ended up in that situation —He admitted pressing a hidden button loosing up his cowl before finally taking it off and reviling the most gorgeous man you’ve had ever lay your eyes on.

—And for that I thank you and apologize…sincerely—Such sudden action left you speechless for a while, Batman not only had thanked you and apologized, but he had entrusted his identity to you.

—I think-…I think we started with the wrong foot; you know? —You finally were able to respond, breaking the silence that filled the room and surprising him slightly by your sudden declaration.

—Let’s start again…Hi! I’m Y/N—You imitated the same friendly voice tone you first used to talk to him.

The lips on the man in front of you curved forming a subtle almost imperceptive grin.

—Hello, Y/N, I’m Bruce…Bruce Wayne.

 ♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤

 WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IT. TOOK. SO. LONG. Sorry :c

I had a bunch of ideas for this request but ended up going with this one since I wanted to expand on their beginning, I’m still trying to figure out a way to write Bruce and this was my first attempt, so…sorry if it was…bad :c I’ll try harder next time!!!

Any errors you might see, please let me know; English is not my first language so I’m trying to improve.

In the final scene I wanted Bruce to show he recognized the Reader as an equal so that’s why he took it off…still I felt like it could improve.

 ♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov​ where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would get to be a little bit fond of her as much as I am!

Anyway! Thank you for reading!

[tricktster]

I feel your pain. My brother has lifelong health problems that are rapidly getting worse. Every appliance that uses water has broken at some point over the last month. Also, I have bought snd exchanged three fish tanks, because each fish tank had a leak. My dental cap ollied out. To be fair I DID do some black magic adjacent shit. So like. I'm bearing it as gracefully as I can :p

Hoo boy, you and I should grab an age appropriate beverage sometime because i also have a loose filling and an unexpected aquarium shrimp tragedy on my list of grievances...

okay well it’s not that huge, it’s just that I was getting anxious because Baja Blast, my recently acquired and spectacularly beautiful blue pearl neocardinia, was acting sluggish and her gills, which had been tinged a distinctive looking neon green a few weeks ago, now looked impacted and weirdly frilly.

So I did some googling and discovered that Baja Blast had ellibiopsidae.

Ellibiopsidae is a fungal parasite that looks kind of like a lichen and essentially eats a shrimp alive from the inside. There is literally no cure recognized by the scientific community, though there are some businesses that will really try to sell you otherwise. I am at my fucking limit for snake-oil miracle cures rn, so I did the same thing I do with regard to my parent’s condition, i.e. skipped the bullshit and went right to the peer reviewed journal articles... and yeah.

Not only is there no cure, but if the infected shrimp molts or dies and the other shrimp eat the infected shell or body (which happens all the time because shrimp are grade a nastyboys), it’ll spread through the tank. So, I had to do the right thing for the good of all my animals, which is the worst thing, and euthanize this little tiny beautiful little being.

I am soft about being the cause of animal death, and getting softer. It’s been years since I ate any mammal (or ridiculously, octopus) meat, which I originally claimed was for environmental reasons, but is in practice because if I can look into the soft, vacant eyes of my idiot axolotls and see that there is some sort of inner life therein worth respecting and protecting, well, shit, have y’all met a pig or a cow?

(If anyone is curious, I still eat chicken and fish; fish, because it is incredibly hard to avoid and because I can vote with my dollar to support sustainable and ethical fishing practices, and chicken mostly because I have spent enough time with chickens to know that if they had any say in the matter, they would eat me first)

Anyway, even though I’m soft about animal death, I will absolutely push myself past any amount of squeamishness when it comes to an animal in my care that is suffering. So, I made the call not to subject her to weeks of untested and possibly painful treatment with little chance of success, and I euthanized a being, even though it really bummed me out, because it was the right thing to do for the greater health of my colony.

I’m getting introspective here, because the analysis I had to engage with there is, on a much larger scale, what my parent is dealing with. I’m trying to respect their confidentiality and not put their personal struggles on blast, but I think maybe an analogy is useful: what is going on is akin to contemplating the amputation of a dominant hand.

Sticking with the metaphor: My parent has a congenital condition that, unmedicated, would lead to the total loss of function in both hands. This is a nightmare for them, as it would be for anyone who has gone 65+ years enjoying full use of their hands, only for that ability to suddenly falter. Due to recent medical advances, they have been recieving regular medical treatments to retain function in their hands, which is extremely unpleasant to go through, but has been worth it because the treatments have not only stopped the progress of the disease, but actually produced some improvement in function.

As with any medical procedure, though, the treatments my parent recieves have some wildly unlikely possible complications. Two weeks ago, my parent received their treatment and it quickly became evident that one of those incredibly unlikely complications had occurred in the most severe way possible. Since that day, it has been a constant, round the clock battle trying different approaches (all extremely painful!) to combat this complication. My parent lost all function in their “hand” on the day this all manifested, and has not had any restoration of function since.

At first, the goal of the medical approach was to restore function to their “hand”, but we are pretty far past that now; the goal is now to not lose the “hand” entirely, forget function. Things have somewhat stabilized, but the prognosis is incredibly foggy and unclear at this point, and all the while my parent has required constant care and has been in incredible pain. Emotionally, they are at the point where it is a question of how much more of this it is fair and reasonable to subject themselves to. The prospect of amputation and prosthesis is extremely upsetting, and the thought of going forward like this indefinitely is ... also extremely upsetting.

My brother is an incredibly smart man with a ton of knowledge on the issue of maintaining quality of life in elderly populations - that’s his life’s work, in fact. He is very concerned about the prospect of amputation and prosthesis because he fears that it will have a potentially huge impact on my parent’s quality of life going forward, and because he is optimistic that we are on the right track to have further medical breakthroughs that would allow my parent to regain function down the road if their “hand” is not surgically removed now.

And me? I’m soft, and my parent is in excruciating pain, and I cannot help but think of the calculus I always have to run for the beings in my care - is the possibility of a cure sufficient to ask them to endure an indeterminate period of suffering? Is it fair and ethical to ask them to endure this, on the offchance that whatever’s wrong can be fixed?

There was a simple answer for me in the case of the shrimp. There’s not one when it comes to this, to the big thing looming over my life and thoughts that actually really matters. And, of course, my family isn’t alone in struggling with something like this, particularly now, with a pandemic boiling through my country that is forcing so many of us to face similar dilemmas; what is kind, what is fair, what is medically possible, what nightmare will develop next that we are powerless to prevent? How do you do the right thing here, when the worst and most unlikely scenario has manifested?

So, with ALL that said, I just want to express how profoundly furious, how absolutely enraged and impotent and wounded I am today, to witness a political party of bigots and sociopaths cluster together this afternoon to ensure that a judicial nominee is seated on the supreme court specifically because she will actively work to make these intimate and painful medical decisions harder and more scarring and with greater risks to consider.

This post is ALL over the place but needless to say I am in a mood.

[owlsbride]

Icha Icha and Prejudice: The Book Club

Chapter V: A Suitable Marriage

"So…" Sakura answered, arriving at an obvious conclusion observing her cup of sake "now you have to go all way to Suna to solve Naruto's mess."

"Yes," Kakashi nodded, looking at the empty space behind her "I'm not exactly thrilled about it, but it's my job after all." He concluded finally directing his gaze to Sakura to look at her big furious green eyes. He suppressed an inner smile.

"But why? Why don't you send Naruto back again? He was the one that asked the Kazekage an extra train program to be a better Hokage" Sakura started annoyed "And Gaara accepted. What was he thinking? Besides, they both made this mess together."

It was infuriating. Gaara, the most collect man she has ever known, all so stoic, silently analyzing everything around him with his sharp mind. Separated from the world, absorbed in his thoughts with his celestial eyes always directed to the horizon, protecting his village. She couldn't understand it.

"Maa, Sa Ku Ra, calm down" Kakashi spoke with his soft tone, guessing what was going on inside her mind "Gaara may be the Kazekage, and a great one, by the way, a fine young man, but inside he's still a child. I think he's still trying to figure out what human relationships are all about, and when being too friendly or solicitous is too much. I guess he couldn't say no to a friend." There was so much tenderness in his words that Sakura sighed leaning back in her chair a little less angry.

"God, he's worst than Sai." Sakura agreed finally most to herself than to Kakashi thinking about the problems that the young man with black hair suffered and caused due to his lack of social empathy.

"Trust me Sakura, if I were to choose between them both..." Kakashi left the phrase hanging. He was not mad at the Kazekage nor Naruto, he was just tired and resigned with the last one. Naruto would never really change.

"Still..." Sakura began again "I don't know why you can not solve this problem from here. Was it that bad?

"You couldn't just start to imagine."

"But this weather..." She was less angry but pushier now.

"If I didn't know you better, I would think you don't want to let me go, Sakura" he spoke in such a suggestive way that Sakura trembled under his gaze "but I'm sure is not the case, right?"

"Of course not Hokage Sama" she was blushing, a lot "I'm just worried about the security of our leader." Sakura finally answered, wrinkling her nose. Kakashi laughed at her face.

"Relax Sakura, I'm not just an old useless politician".

"I guess you are right... you are not a politician" Sakura said, sticking out her tone.

"Careful Sa Ku Ra, the cat may eat your tongue someday" Kakashi answered her with a deep dark tone licking his own lips, or at least that's what she believed. Again the warm feeling forming in her low stomach, now she was sure, it was not her chakra.

"Yeah... anyway..." she tried to hide her excitement and shame at once adopting a much more professional stance, "I think I should go with you." She finished crossing her arms on the table.

"And that could be because...?" Kakashi leaned back on his chair taking distance from Sakura, eyeing her suspiciously, he had seen this coming. He knew that Sakura was going to ask her to go with him.

"I think it's pretty obvious Sensei." He hated the honorifics, but he just stopped fighting it a long ago with Sakura. It was just a mannerism, a way of speaking, not particularly a sign of respect or distance. It was merely their ways, and it was ok, strange and alluring at times, but ok.

"Go on..."

"I believe that the company of a nin doctor in this weird mission of yours, trying to recover Suna from the Tsunami named Naruto, could be of much help." She finished matter of factly.

"For what? a heatstroke?" Kakashi wasn't going to fall in her charms.

"Stop mocking me, Sensei" Sakura pouted. Now she was feeling hurt.

"I'm not mocking you." He smiled. She was cute sometimes. "I'm just saying that there are no risks in my short journey to Suna. It's a safe trip. Only three days and I'll be back; besides, you forget something."

"What?" Sakura asked in confusion

"You are on vacations."

"Yes, a vacation I didn't request for." It was evident that she still felt horrible about that decision.

"And yet, here we are. Having dinner in your second night of" Kakashi said raising his cup, even if he was not going to drink it with Sakura watching straight to his face.

"I guess..." Sakura did drink her sake and started again with all the Suna issue "So, you are going alone? Who is going to be encharged during these days?"

"I asked an old friend to help me here. Luckily she said yes. Having you not accepting the recess and Naruto trying to put his last training in practice is too much of a danger to leave the village alone. And no, I'm not travelling by myself" Kakashi gave her a wink.

"Hey! I'm not that bad. I'm not going to break the rules Hokage Sama". Sakura was starting to feel offended. She was not a girl anymore. He had to stop seeing her like one "I'm not a gir..."

"A girl. You are not a girl anymore." Kakashi finished for her "I'm well aware of that". Eyes darker.

"So, Who is this friend of yours and with who are you travelling with?" Sakura asked incredulously. She didn't know Kakashi had friends except for Guy Sensei and Genma, (who were definitely not suitable for cover him in these three days) less a woman. Why was she a bit jealous, and why was Kakashi noticing it? He laughed a true-hearted laugh.

"Easy Sakura, Lady Tsunade is going to take my place these days, I think she is more than capable, don't you agree? He was genuinely asking her opinion.

"Wow!" Sakura said in surprise "She must really love you like to say yes."

"Doesn't everyone love me? He was such a Drama Queen. "And about the travelling arrangements, I'm going with Shikamaru."

"Well..." Sakura pondered "Shikamaru is really capable, and he is your advisor. I think he is the most suitable for the job." Sakura concluded.

"Yes," Kakashi stated. "though, I think he has his personal agenda on this journey."

"Oh... You mean..." Sakura didn't want to talk more words than necessary. She didn't know how much information Kakashi had about Temari and Shikamaru's relationship.

"Of course Sakura," Kakashi spoke as it was the most obvious thing in the world "The princess."

"So you know..." It was not a question.

"Sakura, I'm not the Hokage for nothing, you know?" There was fun in his voice. "I've seen how they look at each other, I've listened when they talk at the phone. I've been there when they fight together side by side at the Fourth War. It was just a matter of time." He finished almost with longing.

"Like us" Sakura whispered to herself not expecting Kakashi to listen.

"Like us, what? His eyes were gleaming. Sakura felt nervous.

"Just..." she had to think quickly. "Just like the rest of us, you noted the romance coming back then too." That was closed. Kakashi shifted his mouth uncomfortably under his mask, wrinkling his nose. He wasn't buying it.

"Yes." Disappointment in his words. "Anyway... I think a wedding is coming soon and it will become most profitable for both villages. Suna and Konoha united forever. Shikamaru and princess Temari, we couldn't ask for more." Kakashi spoked low.

A cold chill ran down Sakura's spine upon hearing Kakashi's words. It was the Hokage who spoke: cold, distant, calculating. She wasn't sure if she liked this version of Kakashi. Yes, she has witnessed terrible decisions that he had to make as the village leader, she had seen the horrors of the war and what makes people do. But why this bothered her so much? Was it because she had lost sight of the fact that he was the Hokage after all and not just his partner, friend, and secret fantasy? Was she so in love that, now, only one sentence about the convenience of marriage was enough to make all the bandages fall off?

Kakashi hadn't actually said anything about fixing a marriage, but that's what it sounded like, and inside her, it seemed painful.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" Kakashi asked full of worry. He had just realized after his lazy conversation that something had bothered Sakura.

"Is that how you see us?" Sakura began without looking at him "only as exchange goods, potential political deals or war unions thanks to a good marriage and the lineage that can come out of it?"

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but I can't see the problem there" Kakashi answered in all honesty.

"Sure..." Sakura said dryly in a mocking tone "then maybe I can go for the Kazekage. What do you think? I'm sure that is highly beneficial".

Kakashi was confused, but he was not going to recoil.

"Well, Sakura, good luck with that, cause I don't think Gaara is into girls..." He started doubting "Actually, I think he is into nothing at all, but that's your choice." Why was he getting angry? "Now, if instead, you would like to set your eyes on the brother, Kankuro, that could be something entirely different."

"You can start making the arrangements then, and as Hokage, you can walk me down the aisle." Sakura suppressed a tear.

"That would be your father´s job. I may be old, but that´s not my place" Kakashi retorted angrily, but without racing his voice.

"My parents lost faith in me long ago, I don´t think they are interested in my wedding, they think I´m already too old for that" She was sad, resigned. They have stopped talking to her when she refused to marry Sasuke, another suitable arrangement.

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not one of those characters of that stupid book of yours, Lizzie."

Sakura looked down, suddenly she was feeling a bit ashamed. She avoided his eyes at all cost, and she was safe by the waitress announcing that the restaurant was closing. Kakashi paid the bill without saying anything, and they both started walking home, strangely taking the same path.

Sakura was the first in breaking the silence.

"You are reading the book, eh?"

"Hmmm" Kakashi hummed as the only answer.

"Already bored?" She was watching at the stars.

"Actually no" Kakashi began "Even if I don't know yet what to think about it, debating my self between if it is a good manner manual or a statement of the women position in the society, I have to recognize it's quite interesting."

"You haven't read enough yet" Sakura was acting childish. How was it possible that he still didn't realize that the book was actually an ode to true love.

"I supposed." He closed the conversation.

They continue walking a few more blocks before arriving at Sakura's door. Finally, they face each other.

"Sakura, listen" Kakashi needed to clear some things before parting to Suna "What I meant earlier" he swallowed hard "I would never jeopardize the happiness of any of you for the good of the village. You are my priority. The marriage between Shikamaru and Temari is indeed a benefit to Konoha, but that does not mean that I'm directing your lives from a desk. All of you already risk enough every day out there. I would not take love out of your hands."

Sakura nodded with her mouth dry, she needed a drink, a strong one. She finally locked eyes with him and smile much more relaxed.

"Are you going to send me a text as soon as you arrived Suna?" Sakura asked in a happy tone.

"Of course" he simply answered, hands in his pocket.

"And are you going to send my regards to the Kazekage and his brother?" Now she was teasing.

"If that's what you wish..." Kakashi left the phrase got lost in the air. The storm menacing again once more the Konoha's sky.

Sakura laughed heartedly.

"Good night Kakashi Sensei, have a good trip." Sakura said, turning her back to him.

She suddenly stood frozen with her keys trembling in her hands.

Warm breath sifted through the mask ran down her neck and the lobe of her ear. Kakashi hadn't gotten to touch a single hair of her, but all of it rose on her body. Her breath stopped for an instant that seemed like hours, his words tickling as he spoke.

"Have a good night you too, Lizzie." And just like that Kakashi disappeared.

Inner Sakura was going to be happy.

Notes:

So many things to say

1- It´s getting really really late here but I wanted to post it anyway

2- A little bit of tension is not that bad

3- Next chapter we may know, or not, what Naruto has done at Suna. Also, I´m pretty sure that the virtual chat is coming back.

4-Kakashi is making his homework after all.

5- I like the idea that Gaara may be a bit of asexual, though the story shows us different.

6- You Know what to do.

7- If there is anything else you would like to know, please write to me

8- Can somebody be so lovely and helpful and explain me how to link the chapters for making it easy to read? I'm almost as stupid as Kakashi with tech

[daffodi1]

So... it's been years since I first read danganronpa. I was there back in the old days, when we didn't have an official english translation of the game and had to read it on somethingawful forums, when they called Monokuma "monobear" and had to censor "fuck" and "shit" to "gently caress" and "poopoo".

Ahh... the good old days.

But after seeing some people start to play the switch versions, and since I wanted to get my partner into it, I thought "why not?". And so, here I am revisiting it almost a decade later, as a 24 year old with a fresh mind. Some of my opinions of the characters have changed, and some haven't, so I'll get right into talking about them. We also played DR2, and I've revisited my old opinions about them as well, which I will talk about in a separate post. I will probably refer to them as a mixture of first and last names bc while the game refers to them as their first names (except in cases like Aoi, who they call "Hina"), the forum mostly used last names (except in Celestia's case, who was nicknamed "Celes" in that translation). Please try not to get confused.

DISCLAIMER:

I will only be talking about my feelings toward the characters for how they appear in canon, not whatever fanon version you have of them in your brain. Please try not to take offense to my review. Transformative works are valid, but let's not give credit to the canon author where it isn't due, yes? Also, I tend to review based more on personality and story content than character design itself-- so if you're a fan of a certain character bc of their design, you might find yourself insulted on their behalf by what I have to say about them. Sorry.

Also, please don't read this if you haven't completed DR1 and DR2 (bc even if this is only about the DR1 characters, I do refer to it here). Here there be spoilers.

I'm gonna go in order of the murders so it makes sense. Cool? Cool.

Chapter 1:

-Sayaka:

Idk what to say about her, to be honest. She's an interesting character, and part of me wishes she hadn't been killed off so soon (especially since I hate the trope of Woman Dies to Spur Manpain) but at the same time, her participation in the murder and her manipulation of Leon and Naegi is what makes her so interesting-- otherwise she'd be just another Cute Girl Love Interest(tm).

I do like the foreshadowing surrounding her as a manipulator since I am a slut for foreshadowing, with her talking about doing "nasty" things to acheive her dreams and Naegi's promise to protect her almost sealing his fate. I like her, but I don't think she reached her full potential either.

-Leon:

I'm sorry... I just can't bring myself to care about this guy. They really don't give him anything at all, and his reason for killing isn't even tied to the motive. (And you can't tell me it was genuinely self defense-- he had already beaten Sayaka when she locked herself in the bathroom. She had no weapons and had basically lost at that point. He could have left and told everyone else what happened and he didn't, which tells me he had a reason to want to leave, but they didn't go into it).

And part of me like, understands that the writers probably didn't want the audience to care about him too much since they built up Sayaka to be this lovable character, but it was like... everyone was crying over his execution while I'm just in the corner like "Y'all hear something?" At least they learned their lesson on that when they started writing DR2 (because love or hate Teruteru, his motive was sad and you can't deny that).

Chapter 2: (Into the Thicc of It because hoo boy I have feelings, please do not come for me.)

-Chihiro:

I absolutely adore Chihi; they're sweet, polite, smart, soft spoken, cute, and genuinely just a good person all around. They're a doormat to nearly an extreme and don't want to hurt anyone, but they also want to change and confront their weakness. Their character development could have been so baller and I will never not be furious at the way the game treated them. Yes, Alter Ego is an important part of the story, but still. We could have had all that if the programmer LIVED.

As for why I use they/them pronouns... I'm fine headcanoning Chihiro as transfem nonbinary, but reading them as a trans girl straight up is uncomfortable to me personally bc if I read it through that lens, it looks like a detransitioner narrative. And I can't with those bc it reminds me (a whole trans person) of trauma. This doesn't mean I hate the headcanon, or think anyone who HCs Chihiro as a trans girl is wrong; it just means I personally can't do it. Please do not revive Chihiro Disk Horse in the year of our lord 2022, and let's focus instead on what a wonderful and kind character they are.

-Mondo:

I... ugh. And I guess the Disk Horse continues. I WOULD have liked Mondo. I loved his friendship with Taka, his backstory with Daiya and the way he fronted as a strong guy while trying to hide his own weakness and complex as a little brother who would never measure up to his perfect big brother. I like his free time events where he speaks on his love for his dog. I liked how he faced his death with grace and accepted what was going to happen to him even though he arguably has one of the most brutal executions in the first game, and the final scene between him and Taka is nothing short of heartbreaking.

HOWEVER. Unlike my partner, I can't like him because even if his motive isn't truly transphobic in nature, it closely resembles many trans people's worst nightmares. The threat of coming out to someone and being faced with violence is a very real fear that every trans person faces, as well as having people misgender us and treat us as liars for concealing our AGABs after death. I know his real motive was about his jealousy and rage toward Chihiro for having the strength to confront his weakness when he didn't, hell, he even made the effort to keep their secret after their death, and I get it rationally... but when I first read this story, I was only around 15/16 and still coming to terms with my own gender and it hit close to home. I don't hate Mondo, nor do I love him, and I'm not indifferent to his existence either. I'm more just sad about the way they handled his character, and I get that DR is an ~edgy~ series but they could have handled this part of the narrative with more sensitivity and grace. He is not canonically transphobic, but he reads like a transphobe who killed someone for revealing their AGAB and I can't pretend it doesn't bother me. I don't blame his character for how the writers handled him, but it does make me sad.

Chapter 3:

-Kiyotaka:

I love this dumbass; like, you can love or hate him or think he's annoying, but you can't deny that he's funny. He may not have been the most well-rounded character (well... outside of his FTEs, but I try not to count those considering that most people will not experience all of them, and you have such a limited amount of time to spend with the characters before a murder happens) but I love him for the fact that he's not boring no matter what. He has a rigid moral system that he abides by, and it's interesting to see him bend and break when those morals are tested when his bestie turns out to be a murderer.

That being said... I kinda feel like they tossed him aside after ch2 and his arc wasn't complete when he died. I understand that he was being set up as Celestia's victim, but damn, it felt like the writers were like "LOL idk what to do with this guy so guess he's gotta die now" and it felt like, really messy and rushed. I will say that one thing I think DR2 did better was that a lot of the character arcs didn't feel as incomplete by the time they killed them off (except for like, Hiyoko I guess but again, that's another post) but Taka did not feel finished when he died. Idk if that makes sense at all. Also wtf was Ishimondo/Kiyondo. That was some of the weirdest character development ever.

-Hifumi:

Okay... unpopular opinion here, I know, but I love Hifumi. He's a king and y'all can fight me on this, I'm a huge Hifumi apologist. He's a funny dork who writes weird doujinshi and he respects women to the point that he's willing to bonk a bitch with a hammer when he believes that said bitch sexually assaulted his Girlboss Bestie. Yes, I know that arc is also about his weird feelings toward Alter Ego, but at the same time, can you blame him for that? He's a lonely guy, and the only person he considers a friend is obviously manipulating to him and won't listen to him about the things he likes, which is something that I personally can relate to.

And yes, I know he's kind of a pervert but he's nowhere near as bad as Teruteru or Soda, and people still like them. I'm p sure the reason people really don't like him is bc his design is not attractive (even for a fat character, and DR knows how to design appealing fat characters, just look at Twogami), and like, that's fine, whatever, but I do think he deserves better than to just be tossed aside. (Also yes I know he's responsible for Taka's death, and Taka is pretty beloved in the fandom, but it's not like a character being a murderer has stopped this fandom from liking them before???) Also, I don't care about the anime retconning this, Usami's design was influenced by him talking to Alter Ego about anime and you can fight me. (Even the pet minigame has Princess Piggles in her room!!!)

-Celestia:

Ah yes, Girlboss Gaslight Gatekeep herself. God, I love this evil goth bitch, she's great. Is she terrible? Absolutely, but she's terrible in the most entertaining ways, and she even makes herself a morally grey character by taking on a leadership role in the first two chapters. I love both her English and Japanese voices, but the English voice's change in accent to her just sounding like a 30 year old woman is so fucking funny to me. Like, she sounds like she pays taxes and I love it.

There are also a lot of interesting aspects to her in how she hides who she is and that a lot of her motive comes from her shame about the circumstances of her birth. Her lust for money isn't just about greed but wanting to change a part of herself so she can live her ideal lifestyle and kill the part of her that she perceived as ugly and plain. She's a complex character and is pretty fascinating in her own right. She's probably my favorite blackened in the first game (I don't count Sakura as a blackened since she's also the victim).

Chapter 4:

-Sakura:

GOD if she isn't the best girl. Her relationship with Asahina is everything, her loyalty and kindness and strength is everything, she has so many funny lines, and I even like her design. Ik a lot of people don't, but big strong girl who wears a cute sailor uniform is just so god tier. I do prefer her English voice to her Japanese voice, since it's way more respectful and less transmisogynist to have her actually voiced by a woman than pretend she's really a man or whatever (though we are not getting into that today).

Actually getting into her arc, she's got a really compelling one where she's revealed as the traitor, decides to oppose Monokuma to protect her friends, and even sacrifices herself for them in the end even though they were mostly horrible to her, refusing to murder any of them even if she might have been justified in wanting to do so. She's a really admirable character who stuck to her guns until the bitter end. Stan Sakura Oogami for clear skin.

-Asahina:

Yes I knoooow Hina isn't really a victim or a blackened, but her involvement is important to this case, and this case is important to her character development, so I'm putting her here anyway. She's such a good character in that she spends a lot of the game as comedic relief and another Cute Girl(tm) for fanboys to drool over, but whenever she loses her friend, she gets great character development.

You get to see her empathetic, humanitarian side when she calls everyone else out for hurting Sakura and trampling on her feelings when Sakura was just as scared and weak as the rest of them, and the fact that they bullied her and acted like she wasn't a normal person. Her arc with Sakura endeared her a lot to me as a character. In the end, it's her desire to do right by Sakura that encourages her to be brave.

Chapter 5 & 6 (Combining the two for an easier time):

-Mukuro:

...Honestly, not much to say about her. DR1 gives her nothing because she's in disguise as Junko the whole time. I kinda enjoyed her bond with Chihiro. I need to reread IF because it's been years since I have and I don't remember how she acted there.

-Junko:

Ah yes, the main mean girl herself. The ultimate despair. God, I love Junko. She's like the jonker except for women. She's so funny and entertaining and great. I can't wax poetic about how she's a complex character or whatever because she really is just a crazy bitch who wants the world to burn (even if her backstory is like, insane and I can kinda understand why she is the way she is), but I kinda like that simplicity sometimes in a villain, especially w/ female villains bc we don't often see female villains without them having some tragedy past motivating them (and it's usually tied to a man). My favorite girlboss.

Survivors (Minus Hina bc I addressed her):

-Naegi:

I don't have a lot to say about him-- I do love him as a protagonist, he's cute and a sweetheart and I think he gets decent development! I got all emotional seeing him, Kirigiri, and Togami again in DR2 just like I did the first time, it's like seeing your baby all grown up. But he does kinda suffer from Protagonist Syndrome-- the disease that main characters suffer from when artists sacrifice compelling and interesting traits that make them human in the name of making them likable and relatable so audiences can project on them. But he is a sweet boy who deserves good things, and it's cool how he goes from believing he's nothing special to becoming The Ultimate Hope, just for being kind and optimistic and continuing to go on even when everything has gone to shit. It's a pretty inspiring message.

-Kirigiri:

I am kinda torn on her. Don't get me wrong, I do like her and I think the buildup to discovering more about her character was well done. Also, she has sweet bonding moments with Naegi and everyone. She's a smart girl and iirc her backstory is pretty well developed in the spinoffs, even if they don't get all into everything in the first game. But I wish they had told us more of that in the game itself, especially since she's so tied into the plot.

And I guess that's part of my beef with the game itself-- it spends a lot of time getting you attached to the characters who die, and while that IS important for the deaths to carry weight, you also have to get us attached to the ones that live too. And FTEs, again, don't really count bc you only get a limited amount with everyone and there's no guarantee you'll use them on a specific person. DR2 does a better job at getting you attached to everyone outside of the FTEs and developing characters with the time it has. But I wish they had given us more on Kirigiri's backstory and motivations in the game itself, especially regarding her father and I wish we had a chance to see more vulnerability from her.

-Toko:

I'll admit that I didn't like her the first time around, and I'm still torn on her herself. I'm told I'll like her better if I play/watch Another Episode, but they don't have it for the switch, so I'll just have to wait. I'm also not a huge fan of the whole "Killer who has DID and Evil Alters" tropes and stuff (which is to say-- I despise it with my whole being and it makes me want to bite people, fuck you) but I like Genocide Jack. She's so fucking funny and her lines are iconic.

The whole thing she has with Togami is really toxic and creepy though, I do not understand people who want them to be cute and wholesome together when he isn't even the slightest bit into her.

-Togami:

Listen. LISTEN. I like him. Yes, I know, he's a jackass. Everything he does up until Chapter 4 makes him seem irredeemable, especially in Chapter 2. Like, he is wrong for that. But he also gets some of the best development in the fucking game, going from being an insufferable bitch who cares about nobody to taking leadership and trying to help everyone escape, and also giving Naegi chances to shine. I also love that even though he does go through that development, he's still himself: just as bitchy and haughty as ever even if his values changed.

That's all for this round, stay tuned for round 2 where I talk about DR2 and... Komaeda lol.

EDIT:

OH I forgot about Hagakure... well, anyway, bye everyone!

[punkscowardschampions]

Tommy & Ali

Chatting ‘bout Christmas, boy troubles, pregnancy AND THE FACT THE BABY IS TOTALLY NOT DREW’S LOLLOLLOL

Tommy: Oi! 😼 What you gettin da cos like even I feel cheeky considering socks for 2 years running Ali joined the chat 3 hours ago Tommy: I was gonna go full rivers of whiskey cept I'd probs drown myself in it before the bottle was in the bag 😂 Ali: So you should, elf on the shelf! Socks should only ever be an add-on prezzie, even if they're DEAD comical, like. Ali: Speaking of elf on the shelf, would you be willing to come round mine every day at the crack of dawn (aka JUST before the kiddos will arise like horrible demon krakkens from the depths) so I can arrange you in comical positions and situations? Ali: They love that shit. I on the other hand want to murder the CEO of whatever company/the high-key mum mafia that made this shit popular again. Ali: I've got me thinking cap on for the old man for ye...Hmm Ali: (and how rude to get cuffed for the season and not even get to the part where you get a bomb-ass present/someone to tout around the family functions...rude. You not actually at the bottom of a bottle quite yet though, yeah? Doing the obligatory welfare checkup here) Tommy: Excuse you miss money bags! 💰 just 'cause you're one of the rare artists who ain't starving like! some of us don't have boyfriends who cook or paying audiences Tommy: so yeah obvs! Gotta keep in shape just in case don't I? catch me pirouetting across your patio bitch Tommy: Green's my colour these days and red's always been signature Tommy: I'm alright (love you for asking!) how's you? Tommy: Genuinely Ali: Oh yeah, 'cos father will flip his shit if the price tag ain't AT LEAST three figs... 😏 Silly billy, and oi, oi! My student loan ain't kicked in yet ...I'm on a gap yaaaaaah though, darling, I've simply GOTTA act like a frivilous rich bitch. Deal with it, you're still the shady bitch of the fam, okay? 😘 Ali: Yaaasss, you're gonna have to drop a couple of pounds to fit in that teeny costume but a day in the life of a TRUE star init, babe? I believe in you Ali: Bet you didn't come here to be called fat, did you? How fucking cheeky is that forreal Ali: Colour of luck boy 🍀🍀🍀 Ali: Hmm, ngl I'm in a bit of a...situation, and I ain't talking I've forgot to order a turkey Tommy: Imagine...jog on old man just 'cause went for the quantity with the sprogs doesn't mean you'll get quality back soz Tommy: try it but good luck trying to get your little uns to deal with you being the spoilt one 😂 Tommy: well since I got the 🍀 its 🤞 Tommy: feckin hell has caleb forgotten kids are for life not just chrimbo again? Tommy: I'll deck his halls if he's being a prick Ali: That'll show him! That's what you get for bringing me into this world, whole lotta backchat and not an ounce of grattitude, take that! Ali: Join me 'cos I'm sure that's what mum feels I've got her Ali: We did Rio's first Xmas morning, and 2nd, at home! It really is Caleb's fams turn Ali: I can't help that its Junie's first, evidently I ain't planning this shit woman! Ali: #contraceptionwhomst? #pulloutnhopeforthebest #itswhatgodwouldwant Ali: And it ain't like we're not coming over for a second dinner, we fat as hell, get wid it and pass the gravy Ali: Catch me in the tesco throwing tantrums with Rio on the reg tbh #twocanplayatthatgamehoney #childrenraisingchildren Ali: Nah, although loving all the macho threats of violence when my honour is at stake as of late...Is my drama letting you live up to your full brotherly potential? Welcome... Ali: TMI, give a shit, but I'm late on and I've thrown up a few times, not from the mother's ruin, like Ali: hahahahahama'sgonnakillmeisn'tshe Ali: whatthefucklike Tommy: Who you kidding you're the blatant fave & lbr if the lord's got his specs on should be even more so for following her shining example like Tommy: honor thy father and mother and all that Tommy: who doesn't love a mini me Tommy: especially one who can sing every sperm is sacred with perf pitch Tommy: Amen! this aint 1850 pass the roasties gdi! Tommy: all we want for christmas is carbs Tommy: OH MY CHRIST NOT AGAIN Tommy: 😧 Tommy: I know you're on your gap year but no need to be so literal Ali: Ha, please! Not Tess Vickers' fave. Da's, obviously, as he is mine, (babe). You and Joe are the momma's boys, always have been, you needy little babbas. Ali: A woman who doesn't love herself...damn, too deep, reverse, reverse! Ali: You'd be surprised how annoying an all-singing-all-dancing constant reminder of all your best and worst bits is Ali: Usually the best, which is happy-making magic, but when its the worst...GOOD LORDT. Plus its a reminder of the same in your other half, and we all like to overlook that shit now, don't we? *sips tea* Ali: God I am gonna go HAM with my 'cravings' this Chrimbo...what timing! Maybe I did plan this after-all Ali: but no, I did not Ali: But yeah...this is a thing I'm processing, thought I'd drag you down with me 🤷 Tommy: I was gonna be all like not with him probs dead in a ditch and me one audition away from getting cosy in a cardboard box but I better swerve too dont wanna spend the season with the samaritans on speed dial Tommy: you and fraze are the success stories savor it Tommy: honey I've got a mirror Tommy: and near constant feedback from them in the know Tommy: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tommy: that's calebs chrimbo gift sorted then yeah? Ali: Lordy, I know we're Irish but there's no need to be that fuckin' maudlin, Tommo Ali: Oh, you wanted an idea for Da but that is SO Fraze's prezzie Ali: Just tell him that, all day. Money can't buy that kinda happiness Ali: The spirit of the Holidays Ali: Them in the know don't know shit Ali: I mean...gift or curse? Ali: We've only just got back on track, this is probably going to derail the whole damn caboose Tommy: everyone's a critic and there's only one shane macgowan I hear ya Tommy: I reckoned you meant a mirror for a sec I was like uh huh he's got that one covered love 😏 Tommy: Hey! That's mine covered 🙋 just repeat that back to me Tommy: those clueless cunts Tommy: Nah he'll be buzzing esp if he gets another girl Tommy: there's only one Rio but he's shameless ha Tommy: leave the cursing for ma she'll be doing plenty once she's done stuffing your stocking with contraceptives Ali: Mhmm, save it for the improptu karaoke when we're all feeling merry on the day, like Ali: Lmao, he'd live in a 360 degree view changing room if he could Ali: How millenial of us! Lets just gift each other with positive affirmations Ali: Maybe...Gah Ali: Whatever, whether he deals or doesn't, doesn't change the fact I am with child again and yeah, Caleb's reaction is the least of my worries Ali: I'm going to be going to Uni abroad with 3 kids...damn Ali: If I don't get locked away for my own good, of course Tommy: 😇 Will do Tommy: I reckon that's the goal when he 'makes it' Tommy: scrawl it on my personalised starbies cup and have done babe Tommy: You're grand it'll just be one hell of a plane ride Tommy: 🍀 & 🤞 Tommy: OH SHIT WAIT Tommy: the whole Caleb reaction thing has me thinking...not to be rude but Tommy: it is his yeah? Ali: It better be Ali: Aside from the Drew incident I didn't shag anyone else Ali: and we used a condom Ali: I mighta been several sheets to the wind but I hadn't lost my whole goddamn mind Tommy: thank christ for that Tommy: imagine trying to play happy families with that twat Ali: Amen Ali: Yeah that isn't the life I've signed up for Ali: Bitches forget I already got a ring on my finger, like Ali: Legal or otherwise Tommy: Beyonce is here for your union Tommy: good enough for me Tommy: low key proud of ya not to be an enabler but like Tommy: I'll happily hooray you getting Drew to put something on it too god knows where that fuckboy's been Ali: Thank you! I will take that hooray because I literally had to mum Ro's arse and tell her to do the same every time Ali: AND had to do it in such a way it didn't sound like I was saying as much, like, your boyf is a cheater and we all know it sweetie Tommy: ugh 😷 glad you did though I hear your next door nemesis had to get herself to the clinic sharpish & i don't reckon she'd spread gossip that'd make her out to be riddled Tommy: 🦀🐛 Ali: 🤢😤 Unsurprised on both their behalf there but low-key furious Ali: he knows how that bitch treats Ro, and always has done Ali: there's being a cheat with any random hoe and then there's that...is it me or is that next-level careless? Ali: To the point it looks like he's doing it to hurt her, I'm sure he's just ignorant but, like, what the fuck?!!? Tommy: RIGHT? Tommy: like I don't doubt she ain't telling him all the ins and outs of her childhood drama but still Tommy: even with more brains than biceps he's gotta have a clue or two Tommy: OOOPS ACCIDENTAL COMPLIMENT Tommy: I'm offended on my own behalf Tommy: almost as cringe as once thinking he was hot 🤓😳 kms Ali: Yeah but it ain't like he's not been here...and she's still a cunt to Ro now, so Ali: Tries to be to me but who's listening, Bitch I'm deaf all of a sudden??? Ali: Hahahahaha Ali: He's attractive, to the point its kinda fact more than opinion so I don't think you're alone on that score Ali: If the notches on his bedpost are anything to go by...and I fucked him so can't be judging, consider your sins absolved, no hail mary's needed, maybe a few bloodys when I next pin u down for an IRL debrief? Ali: Oh wait, a bitch can't...I'll make it a Virgin Mary...WHEY! Tommy: True and I know he ain't got a bitch muted 'cause I aint rn either 👀 & my specs are on when I'm scrolling Tommy: I see what I see Tommy: 😞 Tommy: Fuck it lets go dancing Tommy: bounce that bump while you still can Ali: 'Course not, gotta 'low the bitch to slide into dem dms on the reg, if for nothing else than the ego boost Ali: 😒 Ali: I need that, lets go lets go lets go, its been TIME since I got to go out and not take the bubs Ali: I'll have to see who can have 'em though... Ali: Can't be mum, really selling how responsible a parent I'm gonna be to 3 by throwing 2 at her and fucking off to partay Tommy: SAMSIES...not that I'm going out with 2 kids on the reg but y'know Tommy: we on it 💃 Tommy: Dial up their daddy Tommy: he'll step up while we step out I'm sure Ali: Sure, just the one, like #oosh! toosoonforbants? Ali: Can but try, I'll get back to you when he replies Ali: Ooh, what are we gonna wear Tommy: I've got my elf cossie if I can only squeeze in Tommy: you could pin a red letter on if you've got something that won't clash 🤔 own that guilt like a good catholic 📿 Ali: Ooh, festive AND appropriate for my situ, I like it. Tommy: A for advent sweeties 😘 Tommy: can you cut my hair though I looking like the grinch if he was a blonde blue eyed dreamboat Ali: And Awesome! And Ali! And Ass! 😎 Ali: Obvi, you never could rock the long hair look, remember that dark period in time 😂 Ali: Can I try something slightly new tho? 🤔 Tommy: why the feck not gotta at least look ready to mingle like Tommy: 💔😂 Ali: Dubo not gonna know what's hit it and ya mans gonna know what he missing when I'm done with you! Promise Tommy: I'll hold you to it Tommy: no pressure Tommy: oooh maybe we could go shopping 😀 Ali: You know I'm winning boys back like its my business Ali: well, boy singular but that's enough, right? #greedybisexual Ali: I am always down for killing time snapping up killer #lewks, lets do it man Tommy: yaaaaaaaaaaas Tommy: careful I might hold you to that too #tipsfrommybabysiskms Ali: baby be wise tho 💞 where u at i'll come get u Tommy: about a lot of things yeah 👍 nws I'll come at you I need the exercise #aintforgotyoucalledmeafattylike Ali: alright well, RUN FORREST RUN Tommy: 🏃

[realestate63141]

I'm Married To A Divorce Attorney. This Is What Our Marriage Is Like

Divorce attorneys are experts on marriage. After all, every day in their offices, they see the petty squabbles and simmering issues that can easily bring down a long-term relationship.

What have they learned from their day jobs? We recently asked family law attorneys from across the country to share how their own marriages have been affected by their jobs and clients. To get a balanced account, we asked their spouses to weigh in, too! See what they had to say below:

Karen Covy, a divorce attorney and coach in Chicago, Illinois:

“I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and married for eight. I don’t take anything for granted. I’ve seen a lot of relationships that went south just because someone stopped paying attention to them. I see a lot of small mistakes that build into big problems. I’ve learned from the pain I witness every day. I consciously work on avoiding those mistakes myself. I try not to let my professional stress bleed into my personal life and I try not to cross-examine my husband. But I’m human!” 

Her spouse, Vit Homolka:

“It really doesn’t make much difference what profession my wife is in. She’s a strong woman and I like that. It’s true that sometimes when we’re talking, she hits me with her ‘lawyer’s logic.’ Our discussions get broken down into points and sub-points with supporting evidence. When she flips into lawyer-mode, it can feel like you’re in a court room. But, I know who she is inside. Her profession is not the primary thing in our marriage.” 

Margaret Klaw, a divorce attorney in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:

“I’ve been married for 34 years and for 30 of them, I’ve been a divorce lawyer. You might think I’d be deeply cynical about the institution of marriage. But you would be totally wrong. I, along with many of my colleagues in the family law bar, are deep appreciators of marriage. I think that is because we, more than most people, truly understand the value of family. We know it’s what gives meaning to people’s lives because we experience firsthand the depth of the pain when it doesn’t work out. And I know that has made me a better spouse and parent. I’m tolerant of small problems and differences because I am so acutely aware of the big picture, of how unimportant those differences may be when compared to the potential cataclysm of divorce. I have to admit, though, that I’ve heard this from my husband more than once during an argument: ‘Stop cross examining me!’ But really, if that’s all he has to complain about, he has no idea how good he has it.”

Her spouse, Alan Metcalfe:

“I may have just a few more complaints but I share my attorney wife’s perspective on marriage. I also love hearing about how badly couples behave (no names, of course!) in court, marvel at how generous her clients can occasionally be with their estranged spouses in the name of their children, and often think how lucky I am to be in a solid marriage. I also know that I would be screwed if I tried to divorce her because she is the only person I would want to represent me in court.” 

Alison Patton, a divorce attorney and mediator in La Jolla, California:

“You would think that with all I’ve seen and learned through the years, I’d be great at marriage and not make the same mistakes divorcing clients have made. Not always the case. For years, John’s common line to me when we were having a marital spat was, ‘Can’t you just use your mediator skills for a goddamned minute and try to understand my perspective?!? And stop interrupting me!’ What I’ve learned from being in this profession is we all make the same mistakes in marriage. Some of us are just lucky enough to have the marriage survive until we figure it out. I think we made it through the rocky stretches because John is as strong a person as I am. He’s an attorney too and he held his ground. Even when we were furious with one another, we never lost mutual respect. I’d be lost without him.”

Her spouse, John Thickstun:

“I’d been divorced for about a year when Alison and I met and started dating. I proposed a few months later. My friends asked me, why are you getting married again? And to a family law attorney!? So I explained, ‘This will guarantee that it will last. It has to!’ All kidding aside, divorce attorneys are participants in the end of a chapter -– the death of a relationship. But if they’re like Alison, they are also witness to the beginning of a new chapter -– a rebirth of sorts. Guiding people through the divorce process creates wisdom if you’re open and paying attention. Alison pays attention. She brings the wisdom she’s learned to our relationship. I love her more today than the day we were married over 18 years ago.” 

Christian Denmon, a divorce attorney in Tampa, Florida:

“Our situation is a little different: I’m a full-time divorce attorney. My wife does divorce work, but it is a minority of her practice. We apply what we learn from our practices to our relationship and it helps steer us on the right track. And I think, as we transition from what divorce lawyers call a short-term marriage to a medium-length marriage (we have been married seven years), we are still on strong footing. Much of it is thanks to her!” 

His spouse, Nicole Denmon:

“My husband listens more to other women’s problems than mine. The emergency phone calls at night and on the weekends used to bother me. I used to ask lots of questions as to why a female client needed to talk to him so badly at 7:30 p.m. on a Saturday night. But then I listened to his conversations. Some were true emergencies and others were him just be an attentive lawyer who knew when that his client needed to talk and needed advice right then. Although it did not constitute an emergency to him or me, the person on the other line truly believed that it was. I have come to learn that a good divorce attorney must be attentive and on call if a client needs to speak with them. I know that my husband does not always want to return a phone call, but he puts himself in the position of his client that is experiencing one of the most traumatic experiences one can go through: divorce.”

Nancy R. Van Tine, a divorce attorney in Boston, Massachusetts:

“Stu talked me into going to law school while he was studying for the bar exam. Four years later we started our own firm. I didn’t choose family law. I backed into it. I was the only female lawyer in my location when we hung out our shingle, and the divorce clients came as a result. And they kept coming, and I loved doing it. Stu and I worked as a team. He did a lot of my legal research and all my appellate writing in the early years. We’d discuss strategy, law and the clients all the time. I think we were more careful of each other in our marriage as a result. Marriage and divorce law have been a fun partnership.”

Her spouse, Stuart Van Tine:

“Yep, I’ve been married to a divorce lawyer for 52 years. She wasn’t a lawyer for the first 14. I’d been an attorney for five years when she was sworn in and we opened our own shop. We later joined a larger firm together; I retired, she’s still there. For us, practicing law together was fun. My end was stodgy bank and real estate work. Her practice seemed to bring new and amazing bits of insanity every day. What I remember most is her ability to keep her composure where very few people could, like laughing along with our staff at the death threat left on our answering machine or the court battle over custody of a stuffed parrot. Those were happy days.”

Katherine Eisold Miller, a divorce attorney in New Rochelle, New York: 

“Divorce lawyers hear some pretty crazy stories and we know what destroys relationships. Knowing what destroys them gives us a window into how to nurture and preserve our partnerships. On the other hand, we also know how to protect ourselves and our assets and that could be pretty scary if things weren’t going so well.”

Her spouse, Richard Heller:

“I’ve been married to a divorce attorney for 18 years. From the beginning I needed clear boundaries between work and relationship ― and no prenup. Prenups look to me like a self-fulfilling prophecy, like you’re planning the way out when you have not even begun while to my attorney bride, it just made sense to get clear on financial boundaries. Keeping communications from becoming ‘litigious’ is an ongoing practice for both of us. I often joke that ‘I’m married to a divorce lawyer, I don’t mess with her,’ but I actually find my spouse appreciates what an amazing marriage we have because she has seen so many marriages that were less than that. She works long hours and I miss her terribly, but our time together is always sweet.”

Daniel E. Clement, a divorce attorney in New York City:

“As a divorce attorney, my problem is not making my clients’ issues mine. While I am sympathetic, I have to remain detached to keep my objectivity and maintain my sanity. I certainly don’t want to bring their problems home with me. That said, I can use my client’s issues as life lessons. I can identify the mistakes they made in their relationships, in raising their children, in their decision making, and consciously modify my behavior so as not to follow them. I do not want to be someone’s divorce client.” 

His spouse, Michelle Schwartz Clement:

“Most of the time, Dan seems immune to the stresses of the day. Yes, there are days he brings it home, but what successful professional doesn’t do so?”

type=type=RelatedArticlesblockTitle=Related Stories + articlesList=56cf434ae4b03260bf75d3ed,559ebd80e4b05b1d028fecad,571f9b9fe4b0b49df6a92312,5846c5c6e4b0e0184289f0bb

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[repwinpril9y0a1]

I'm Married To A Divorce Attorney. This Is What Our Marriage Is Like

Divorce attorneys are experts on marriage. After all, every day in their offices, they see the petty squabbles and simmering issues that can easily bring down a long-term relationship.

What have they learned from their day jobs? We recently asked family law attorneys from across the country to share how their own marriages have been affected by their jobs and clients. To get a balanced account, we asked their spouses to weigh in, too! See what they had to say below:

Karen Covy, a divorce attorney and coach in Chicago, Illinois:

“I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and married for eight. I don’t take anything for granted. I’ve seen a lot of relationships that went south just because someone stopped paying attention to them. I see a lot of small mistakes that build into big problems. I’ve learned from the pain I witness every day. I consciously work on avoiding those mistakes myself. I try not to let my professional stress bleed into my personal life and I try not to cross-examine my husband. But I’m human!” 

Her spouse, Vit Homolka:

“It really doesn’t make much difference what profession my wife is in. She’s a strong woman and I like that. It’s true that sometimes when we’re talking, she hits me with her ‘lawyer’s logic.’ Our discussions get broken down into points and sub-points with supporting evidence. When she flips into lawyer-mode, it can feel like you’re in a court room. But, I know who she is inside. Her profession is not the primary thing in our marriage.” 

Margaret Klaw, a divorce attorney in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:

“I’ve been married for 34 years and for 30 of them, I’ve been a divorce lawyer. You might think I’d be deeply cynical about the institution of marriage. But you would be totally wrong. I, along with many of my colleagues in the family law bar, are deep appreciators of marriage. I think that is because we, more than most people, truly understand the value of family. We know it’s what gives meaning to people’s lives because we experience firsthand the depth of the pain when it doesn’t work out. And I know that has made me a better spouse and parent. I’m tolerant of small problems and differences because I am so acutely aware of the big picture, of how unimportant those differences may be when compared to the potential cataclysm of divorce. I have to admit, though, that I’ve heard this from my husband more than once during an argument: ‘Stop cross examining me!’ But really, if that’s all he has to complain about, he has no idea how good he has it.”

Her spouse, Alan Metcalfe:

“I may have just a few more complaints but I share my attorney wife’s perspective on marriage. I also love hearing about how badly couples behave (no names, of course!) in court, marvel at how generous her clients can occasionally be with their estranged spouses in the name of their children, and often think how lucky I am to be in a solid marriage. I also know that I would be screwed if I tried to divorce her because she is the only person I would want to represent me in court.” 

Alison Patton, a divorce attorney and mediator in La Jolla, California:

“You would think that with all I’ve seen and learned through the years, I’d be great at marriage and not make the same mistakes divorcing clients have made. Not always the case. For years, John’s common line to me when we were having a marital spat was, ‘Can’t you just use your mediator skills for a goddamned minute and try to understand my perspective?!? And stop interrupting me!’ What I’ve learned from being in this profession is we all make the same mistakes in marriage. Some of us are just lucky enough to have the marriage survive until we figure it out. I think we made it through the rocky stretches because John is as strong a person as I am. He’s an attorney too and he held his ground. Even when we were furious with one another, we never lost mutual respect. I’d be lost without him.”

Her spouse, John Thickstun:

“I’d been divorced for about a year when Alison and I met and started dating. I proposed a few months later. My friends asked me, why are you getting married again? And to a family law attorney!? So I explained, ‘This will guarantee that it will last. It has to!’ All kidding aside, divorce attorneys are participants in the end of a chapter -– the death of a relationship. But if they’re like Alison, they are also witness to the beginning of a new chapter -– a rebirth of sorts. Guiding people through the divorce process creates wisdom if you’re open and paying attention. Alison pays attention. She brings the wisdom she’s learned to our relationship. I love her more today than the day we were married over 18 years ago.” 

Christian Denmon, a divorce attorney in Tampa, Florida:

“Our situation is a little different: I’m a full-time divorce attorney. My wife does divorce work, but it is a minority of her practice. We apply what we learn from our practices to our relationship and it helps steer us on the right track. And I think, as we transition from what divorce lawyers call a short-term marriage to a medium-length marriage (we have been married seven years), we are still on strong footing. Much of it is thanks to her!” 

His spouse, Nicole Denmon:

“My husband listens more to other women’s problems than mine. The emergency phone calls at night and on the weekends used to bother me. I used to ask lots of questions as to why a female client needed to talk to him so badly at 7:30 p.m. on a Saturday night. But then I listened to his conversations. Some were true emergencies and others were him just be an attentive lawyer who knew when that his client needed to talk and needed advice right then. Although it did not constitute an emergency to him or me, the person on the other line truly believed that it was. I have come to learn that a good divorce attorney must be attentive and on call if a client needs to speak with them. I know that my husband does not always want to return a phone call, but he puts himself in the position of his client that is experiencing one of the most traumatic experiences one can go through: divorce.”

Nancy R. Van Tine, a divorce attorney in Boston, Massachusetts:

“Stu talked me into going to law school while he was studying for the bar exam. Four years later we started our own firm. I didn’t choose family law. I backed into it. I was the only female lawyer in my location when we hung out our shingle, and the divorce clients came as a result. And they kept coming, and I loved doing it. Stu and I worked as a team. He did a lot of my legal research and all my appellate writing in the early years. We’d discuss strategy, law and the clients all the time. I think we were more careful of each other in our marriage as a result. Marriage and divorce law have been a fun partnership.”

Her spouse, Stuart Van Tine:

“Yep, I’ve been married to a divorce lawyer for 52 years. She wasn’t a lawyer for the first 14. I’d been an attorney for five years when she was sworn in and we opened our own shop. We later joined a larger firm together; I retired, she’s still there. For us, practicing law together was fun. My end was stodgy bank and real estate work. Her practice seemed to bring new and amazing bits of insanity every day. What I remember most is her ability to keep her composure where very few people could, like laughing along with our staff at the death threat left on our answering machine or the court battle over custody of a stuffed parrot. Those were happy days.”

Katherine Eisold Miller, a divorce attorney in New Rochelle, New York: 

“Divorce lawyers hear some pretty crazy stories and we know what destroys relationships. Knowing what destroys them gives us a window into how to nurture and preserve our partnerships. On the other hand, we also know how to protect ourselves and our assets and that could be pretty scary if things weren’t going so well.”

Her spouse, Richard Heller:

“I’ve been married to a divorce attorney for 18 years. From the beginning I needed clear boundaries between work and relationship ― and no prenup. Prenups look to me like a self-fulfilling prophecy, like you’re planning the way out when you have not even begun while to my attorney bride, it just made sense to get clear on financial boundaries. Keeping communications from becoming ‘litigious’ is an ongoing practice for both of us. I often joke that ‘I’m married to a divorce lawyer, I don’t mess with her,’ but I actually find my spouse appreciates what an amazing marriage we have because she has seen so many marriages that were less than that. She works long hours and I miss her terribly, but our time together is always sweet.”

Daniel E. Clement, a divorce attorney in New York City:

“As a divorce attorney, my problem is not making my clients’ issues mine. While I am sympathetic, I have to remain detached to keep my objectivity and maintain my sanity. I certainly don’t want to bring their problems home with me. That said, I can use my client’s issues as life lessons. I can identify the mistakes they made in their relationships, in raising their children, in their decision making, and consciously modify my behavior so as not to follow them. I do not want to be someone’s divorce client.” 

His spouse, Michelle Schwartz Clement:

“Most of the time, Dan seems immune to the stresses of the day. Yes, there are days he brings it home, but what successful professional doesn’t do so?”

type=type=RelatedArticlesblockTitle=Related Stories + articlesList=56cf434ae4b03260bf75d3ed,559ebd80e4b05b1d028fecad,571f9b9fe4b0b49df6a92312,5846c5c6e4b0e0184289f0bb

The HuffPost Lifestyle newsletter will make you happier and healthier, one email at a time. Sign up here.

-- This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2lgev4D

[realestate63141]

I'm Married To A Divorce Attorney. This Is What Our Marriage Is Like

Divorce attorneys are experts on marriage. After all, every day in their offices, they see the petty squabbles and simmering issues that can easily bring down a long-term relationship.

What have they learned from their day jobs? We recently asked family law attorneys from across the country to share how their own marriages have been affected by their jobs and clients. To get a balanced account, we asked their spouses to weigh in, too! See what they had to say below:

Karen Covy, a divorce attorney and coach in Chicago, Illinois:

“I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and married for eight. I don’t take anything for granted. I’ve seen a lot of relationships that went south just because someone stopped paying attention to them. I see a lot of small mistakes that build into big problems. I’ve learned from the pain I witness every day. I consciously work on avoiding those mistakes myself. I try not to let my professional stress bleed into my personal life and I try not to cross-examine my husband. But I’m human!” 

Her spouse, Vit Homolka:

“It really doesn’t make much difference what profession my wife is in. She’s a strong woman and I like that. It’s true that sometimes when we’re talking, she hits me with her ‘lawyer’s logic.’ Our discussions get broken down into points and sub-points with supporting evidence. When she flips into lawyer-mode, it can feel like you’re in a court room. But, I know who she is inside. Her profession is not the primary thing in our marriage.” 

Margaret Klaw, a divorce attorney in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania:

“I’ve been married for 34 years and for 30 of them, I’ve been a divorce lawyer. You might think I’d be deeply cynical about the institution of marriage. But you would be totally wrong. I, along with many of my colleagues in the family law bar, are deep appreciators of marriage. I think that is because we, more than most people, truly understand the value of family. We know it’s what gives meaning to people’s lives because we experience firsthand the depth of the pain when it doesn���t work out. And I know that has made me a better spouse and parent. I’m tolerant of small problems and differences because I am so acutely aware of the big picture, of how unimportant those differences may be when compared to the potential cataclysm of divorce. I have to admit, though, that I’ve heard this from my husband more than once during an argument: ‘Stop cross examining me!’ But really, if that’s all he has to complain about, he has no idea how good he has it.”

Her spouse, Alan Metcalfe:

“I may have just a few more complaints but I share my attorney wife’s perspective on marriage. I also love hearing about how badly couples behave (no names, of course!) in court, marvel at how generous her clients can occasionally be with their estranged spouses in the name of their children, and often think how lucky I am to be in a solid marriage. I also know that I would be screwed if I tried to divorce her because she is the only person I would want to represent me in court.” 

Alison Patton, a divorce attorney and mediator in La Jolla, California:

“You would think that with all I’ve seen and learned through the years, I’d be great at marriage and not make the same mistakes divorcing clients have made. Not always the case. For years, John’s common line to me when we were having a marital spat was, ‘Can’t you just use your mediator skills for a goddamned minute and try to understand my perspective?!? And stop interrupting me!’ What I’ve learned from being in this profession is we all make the same mistakes in marriage. Some of us are just lucky enough to have the marriage survive until we figure it out. I think we made it through the rocky stretches because John is as strong a person as I am. He’s an attorney too and he held his ground. Even when we were furious with one another, we never lost mutual respect. I’d be lost without him.”

Her spouse, John Thickstun:

“I’d been divorced for about a year when Alison and I met and started dating. I proposed a few months later. My friends asked me, why are you getting married again? And to a family law attorney!? So I explained, ‘This will guarantee that it will last. It has to!’ All kidding aside, divorce attorneys are participants in the end of a chapter -– the death of a relationship. But if they’re like Alison, they are also witness to the beginning of a new chapter -– a rebirth of sorts. Guiding people through the divorce process creates wisdom if you’re open and paying attention. Alison pays attention. She brings the wisdom she’s learned to our relationship. I love her more today than the day we were married over 18 years ago.” 

Christian Denmon, a divorce attorney in Tampa, Florida:

“Our situation is a little different: I’m a full-time divorce attorney. My wife does divorce work, but it is a minority of her practice. We apply what we learn from our practices to our relationship and it helps steer us on the right track. And I think, as we transition from what divorce lawyers call a short-term marriage to a medium-length marriage (we have been married seven years), we are still on strong footing. Much of it is thanks to her!” 

His spouse, Nicole Denmon:

“My husband listens more to other women’s problems than mine. The emergency phone calls at night and on the weekends used to bother me. I used to ask lots of questions as to why a female client needed to talk to him so badly at 7:30 p.m. on a Saturday night. But then I listened to his conversations. Some were true emergencies and others were him just be an attentive lawyer who knew when that his client needed to talk and needed advice right then. Although it did not constitute an emergency to him or me, the person on the other line truly believed that it was. I have come to learn that a good divorce attorney must be attentive and on call if a client needs to speak with them. I know that my husband does not always want to return a phone call, but he puts himself in the position of his client that is experiencing one of the most traumatic experiences one can go through: divorce.”

Nancy R. Van Tine, a divorce attorney in Boston, Massachusetts:

“Stu talked me into going to law school while he was studying for the bar exam. Four years later we started our own firm. I didn’t choose family law. I backed into it. I was the only female lawyer in my location when we hung out our shingle, and the divorce clients came as a result. And they kept coming, and I loved doing it. Stu and I worked as a team. He did a lot of my legal research and all my appellate writing in the early years. We’d discuss strategy, law and the clients all the time. I think we were more careful of each other in our marriage as a result. Marriage and divorce law have been a fun partnership.”

Her spouse, Stuart Van Tine:

“Yep, I’ve been married to a divorce lawyer for 52 years. She wasn’t a lawyer for the first 14. I’d been an attorney for five years when she was sworn in and we opened our own shop. We later joined a larger firm together; I retired, she’s still there. For us, practicing law together was fun. My end was stodgy bank and real estate work. Her practice seemed to bring new and amazing bits of insanity every day. What I remember most is her ability to keep her composure where very few people could, like laughing along with our staff at the death threat left on our answering machine or the court battle over custody of a stuffed parrot. Those were happy days.”

Katherine Eisold Miller, a divorce attorney in New Rochelle, New York: 

“Divorce lawyers hear some pretty crazy stories and we know what destroys relationships. Knowing what destroys them gives us a window into how to nurture and preserve our partnerships. On the other hand, we also know how to protect ourselves and our assets and that could be pretty scary if things weren’t going so well.”

Her spouse, Richard Heller:

“I’ve been married to a divorce attorney for 18 years. From the beginning I needed clear boundaries between work and relationship ― and no prenup. Prenups look to me like a self-fulfilling prophecy, like you’re planning the way out when you have not even begun while to my attorney bride, it just made sense to get clear on financial boundaries. Keeping communications from becoming ‘litigious’ is an ongoing practice for both of us. I often joke that ‘I’m married to a divorce lawyer, I don’t mess with her,’ but I actually find my spouse appreciates what an amazing marriage we have because she has seen so many marriages that were less than that. She works long hours and I miss her terribly, but our time together is always sweet.”

Daniel E. Clement, a divorce attorney in New York City:

“As a divorce attorney, my problem is not making my clients’ issues mine. While I am sympathetic, I have to remain detached to keep my objectivity and maintain my sanity. I certainly don’t want to bring their problems home with me. That said, I can use my client’s issues as life lessons. I can identify the mistakes they made in their relationships, in raising their children, in their decision making, and consciously modify my behavior so as not to follow them. I do not want to be someone’s divorce client.” 

His spouse, Michelle Schwartz Clement:

“Most of the time, Dan seems immune to the stresses of the day. Yes, there are days he brings it home, but what successful professional doesn’t do so?”

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