#Do you think like - when he was alone in his room at 14 all awkward and shy and soft

[mooseyspooky]

my top 10 songs right now for @lovely-lady-fox and @staticspxcelover (using youtube and Spotify cause I cannot be stopped)

[persevereforahappyending]

A Legacies Secret |12|

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summary: You just wanted a happy life with your girlfriend but then Ghostface attacks, revealing long thought to be buried family secrets.

Warnings: Language, Crime Scene, Talks of Murder

Word Count: 2.9k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15

Sam sighed, running a hand through her hair as she stepped back into the hall. She understood where her sister was coming from, hell, she couldn’t even blame Tara. Sam would probably tell herself she was a danger and to stay away as well. She knew it wasn’t completely rational, but there was an officer right outside Tara’s room, another down the hall, and another in the lobby. There was no reason to think Tara would be in danger unless she was with Sam herself or with you.

Ghostface attacked Tara to draw Sam back to town and it worked. He then attacked you when he knew you’d be away from everyone else. So far, Ghostface’s plan has worked perfectly. This Ghostface knew who Sam’s father was, it took her reading her mom’s old diary to learn that and yet, this monster somehow found out. Then there was you, you were the daughter of Gale Weathers and Dewey Riley, Ghostface learned that before even you did. Ghostface somehow learned Gale had a child, and that child grew up to be you.

Sam knew every previous Ghostface was a part of the friend group, and the killings always went back to the very beginning. This all seemed like a lot for one of Tara's friends to plan though. Whoever did this would have had to do their research; they would have had to have connections. Gale did everything in secret with you, she even left you outside the hospital to remain anonymous, Sam couldn’t even begin to imagine how Ghostface learned that information, if they specifically went searching for some reason or they got lucky and dug from there.

You might not believe it, considering you were at the top of everyone’s suspect list, but you weren’t even on Sam’s list, not anymore. After watching you and Tara together she saw how much you loved her sister, you would literally die before you let anything happen to her, there was no way you’d ever hurt her. What really sold her was your reaction to hearing the truth, like she told Tara, you’d have to be one hell of an actor to sell that. You looked exactly how Sam felt all those years ago, your world shattering before your eyes.

Sam felt for you, she truly did. Learning her dad wasn’t her dad and her real dad was in fact a serial killer definitely sucked, it was something she’d be dealing with in therapy probably for the rest of her life. Despite all that though for the first half of her life she had a loving family, everything was perfect. You never had any of that though, you grew up knowing your family didn’t want you, you grew up alone. The only person you seemed to truly have in your life was Tara. Sam sighed; she asked you to stay away from Tara.

“You, okay?” Richie asked. Sam didn’t have time to stew in her guilt for long as she came back to reality, seeing Richie in front of her, watching her with concern all over his face.

Sam nodded, she looked around, the same officer was still outside Tara’s room, typing away on his phone. Judy was down the hall talking to another officer and pointing to your room. All of Tara’s friends had left though, just as she asked. Part of Sam wondered if she should do the same and just come back in the morning, so far, every time she visited Tara, she seemed to be making things worse.

“Want to go back to the motel?” Richie asked, giving her an awkward smile. “You need to rest, today was a lot,” he reached up and gave her arm a comforting rub.

Sam gave him a sad smile and nodded. “Yeah,” she whispered. Maybe she just needed a break, she just needed to go and sleep in an actual bed, her mind might be more at ease staying at the hospital, but she didn’t think she’d get much sleep in the waiting room chairs.

She followed Richie out of the hospital. “I’ll grab the car,” he whispered before running off across the parking lot.

Sam bounced up and down on her feet outside the hospital. She tried to ignore the fact that Dewey and Gale were clearly arguing a few feet away from her.

“You kept our daughter from me!” Dewey tried to shout but his voice ended up cracking. “Our daughter.”

“I know, I know,” Gale said. She reached out for Dewey, but he stepped away. Sam really was trying not to eavesdrop; she just couldn’t help it. “I’m sorry, I know that’s not enough. I don’t know what else to say.”

“There’s nothing to say!” Dewey gestured widely. “I knew your career was important to you but why didn’t you say something? Out of all the ways…” he shook his head. “Why didn’t you just leave her with me?”

Gale opened and closed her mouth a few times. “I was scared.” Dewey shook his head, clearly not wanting to hear this excuse. “We had just broken up; I was in New York.”

“But you came back to town, you left her here, you-you-,” he gripped at his hair. “We could have figured something out.”

“Let me make this right,” Gale whispered, stepping closer.

Dewey looked at Gale long and hard for a moment before slowly shaking his head. “I’m not sure you can.” With that he walked off, leaving Gale to stand there crying alone.

Sam let out a relieved breath when she saw Richie pull up. She ran to the car as quickly as she could. She had enough going on at the moment, the last thing she wanted was to get caught up in your apparent family drama. She couldn’t blame you or Dewey though, Sam couldn’t even forgive her own mother for keeping her birth father a secret, she didn’t see how you or Dewey could ever forgive Gale.

Sam rested her arm on the door and her head in her hand, she stared out the window as Richie drove them to the motel. Sam had picked out the motel, it was one of the only ones in town, and she had yet to even enter the room.

“And we’ve arrived,” Richie said, breaking Sam out of her trance.

She got out of the car and followed Richie to the door. Richie opened the door, doing a little wave with his hand as he gestured inside the room. Sam smiled at his theatrics but as soon as she got to the doorway she stopped. “What’s wrong?” Richie asked.

“You know, I think I need to clear my head,” Sam said, stepping back. “I’m going to go for a drive.”

“Want me to come?”

Sam shook her head. “I think I just need some time alone.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded. “I won’t be too long.” She leaned forward, giving Richie a quick kiss before plucking the keys from his hands.

“Okay,” Richie said before entering the room.

Sam got in the driver’s seat of the car. She stared at the motel building in front of her, her body was absolutely exhausted, the only thing calling her name was the crappy bed she knew was inside. Her mind was going a mile a minute though, she knew she’d never be able to rest like this, she just needed to clear her head. She started the car and slowly began to back out of the parking space and turn back onto the main road.

Sam drove around aimlessly, despite growing up in the town she didn’t have a destination in mind, she just kept turning at a stop sign. She furrowed her brow when she saw blue lights flashing up ahead. She looked around, her heart picking up slightly when she realized what street she was on exactly. She pulled over on the side of the road, away from the emergency vehicles. She rushed across the street, her eyes frantically searching for a familiar face, specifically one she was desperate to see safe and sound.

There were already several police cruisers and an ambulance at the house, officers had even already taped up the scene. It hadn’t been too long since everyone left the hospital, when Sam left Judy was still there. Whatever happened had to have just occurred, the quick response of the authorities did nothing to ease Sam’s anxieties.

Sam began to go under the police tape when an officer appeared in front of her. “Sorry ma’am, this is an active crime scene,” he said, holding up his hand.

“What happened?” Sam asked, trying to see around the officer.

Sam’s eyes landed on a yellow tarp being placed over a body on the front porch. “The sheriff.”

Sam’s eyed widened, she had just been with the sheriff, Mindy said the sequel characters, as she liked to call them, didn’t matter, there was no reason for anyone to think Judy would be attacked, besides, she was the sheriff, that wasn’t an easy person to go after.

“What about her son? Sam asked, her eyes instantly scanning for him. “Wes, please, I’m a friend.” Wes only had his mom; she couldn’t imagine him witnessing this or discovering her body.

When Sam looked up, meeting the cops' eyes for the first time, she saw it on his face, she knew what his next words would be. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. He turned to walk back across the lawn, back to the crime scene.

Sam ran a hand through her hair. She was just with Wes, he wasn’t supposed to be a target, there was no reason for him to be a target. Mindy was naïve enough to believe this Ghostface was only going after those connected to the first set of killings and Sam was stupid enough to believe it. Judy might not have liked Sam but without her around, the investigation would slow down even more, everyone would be more concerned with the sheriff's death than actually stopping Ghostface.

“I can’t believe you,” Sam heard a man say. She turned to see Gale Weathers walking across the sidewalk, speedily in her heels away from a news van. Dewey was trailing after her, clearly unhappy with whatever Gale was doing or about to do.

“This was the only way to come,” Gale snapped, spinning around to glare at Dewey.

“Oh, was our secret daughter being in danger not enough for you?” Dewey whispered harshly.

“I didn’t report at the hospital. I would never do that to her,” her voice cracked.

Dewey let out a humorless chuckle. “Gale Weathers putting someone else before her career? Guess that makes you mother of the year.” Dewey brushed past her, not waiting for her to say anything.

While Dewey began to talk to one of the officers close by, Sam watched as Gale ran her hands down her blazer, smoothing out any wrinkles. When Gale turned around Sam couldn’t even tell Dewey’s words had affected her, she kept her face completely neutral as she walked to a spot in front of the police tape. The only indication that Dewey’s words hit her was the way she gripped the microphone in her hands. When her camera man popped up, propping the camera on his shoulder as he pointed at her to begin, she fell right into reporter mode. She smiled at the camera and began to recount the recent Ghostface killings, effortlessly leading into the latest attack on Judy and Wes.

“Hey!” Sam shouted when she caught sight of a familiar officer. “Hey, what are you doing here?” She shouted again, finally getting officer Vincent to look at her.

“I heard the call about the sheriff,” he said, as if that explained everything.

“Who’s guarding my sister?”

“All hands-on deck,” he shrugged and made his way over to the sheriff's body and the other officers.

Sam let out a frustrated groan, she knew the murder of the sheriff was top priority, but she couldn’t believe that cop left his position. Deputy Vincent had orders to protect Tara, he clearly wasn’t doing that, Sam highly doubted he could bring something new to the table that the other officers couldn’t. Sam’s eyes widened when she realized the cop who had been guarding her sister’s door was now standing across the lawn, nowhere near the hospital.

Sam didn’t hesitate to take off back towards her car. “Where are you going?” Dewey shouted after her.

“My sister is in danger!” Sam shouted back; she didn’t have time to waste. She told you to stay away from Tara, she herself left the hospital, now the one person ordered to protect Tara was also gone, there was literally no one standing between Tara and Ghostface coming after her.

Sam didn’t know shit about the movies, she didn’t know how any of this was actually supposed to work. What she did know though was that whoever was doing this was trying to hurt Sam for some reason and now that her sister was defenseless the easiest way to hurt Sam would be to go after Tara again. Ghostface let Tara live the first time, that was just to draw Sam back to town though, there was no way he’d let her live the second time.

“What are you doing?” Sam asked when she saw Dewey running after her.

“Figured you could use backup,” Dewey sighed, though he didn’t seem thrilled about most likely running straight into the line of fire.

“You don’t need to stay?” Sam flicked a glance across the way where Gale stood, talking to her camera man as she gestured behind her, talking about the crime scene.

“This isn’t where I’m needed,” is all Dewey said.

Sam didn’t waste anymore time before she jumped in the car, quickly starting it, she barely checked her mirrors as she whipped back out onto the road. She ignored the way Dewey groaned, his hands flailing to grasp the handle on the door as he was flung back against the seat.

With one hand Sam whipped out her phone, quickly tapping on Richie’s contact. “Hey,” Richie greeted after a few rings.

“Get to the hospital,” Sam said quickly.

“What? Why? What’s going on?”

“I think Tara’s in danger.”

There was a long pause, Sam wondered if she somehow had lost him. “You want me to go to the hospital where a psycho killer might be?” She could hear the hesitation in his voice.

“Richie, please,” Sam begged.

“Okay, okay, I’m going.”

“We’ll meet you there.” Sam made an abrupt right turn, letting her phone fly out of her hand and into Dewey’s lap.

Dewey let out a groan and held out the phone to Sam. “Sorry,” she whispered. She quickly took the phone back, scrolling through the contacts until she found the one she wanted.

“Now, who are you calling?” Dewey asked.

“Y/N,” Sam answered instantly. Dewey furrowed his brow; he opened his mouth to say something else but before he could Sam heard the little click indicating someone had picked up. “Y/N,” she practically screamed into the phone.

“Too what do I owe the displeasure Samantha?” you asked, clearly still pissed at her.

Sam couldn’t blame you; she couldn’t even be bothered to care you called her Samantha, there were more important matters at hand. “Ghostface is going after Tara.”

“What?” You instantly got serious. “How do you know?” It sounded like you were shuffling around.

“Judy’s dead.” There was silence on the other end, Sam couldn’t even hear you moving around anymore. “Wes too.”

“Fuck,” you whispered.

“He’s going after Tara.” Sam let out a shaky breath, she knew how hypocritical she was, she told you to stay away from Tara because you were going to put her in danger and now, she was calling you, her only hope at protecting Tara. “Look I’m-”

“He’s not laying a fucking hand on her,” you cut her off. Sam couldn’t help but glance at her phone, your voice had gotten much darker, she really wouldn’t want to be Ghostface at the moment.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Whatever,” with that you hung up.

Sam blinked away a few tears, you were there, Tara would be fine. She didn’t miss the way Dewey was glancing at her. “I told her to stay away from Tara,” Sam whispered.

“And yet she was the one you called,” he said.

“I knew she’d ignore me,” Sam let out a humorless chuckle.

“She really loves her,” Dewey whispered more to himself.

Sam spared a quick glance at Dewey. He was slumped in the seat, staring out the windshield but at nothing in particular. Sam couldn’t imagine what he must be going through, his wife, ex-wife, love of his life, never told him they had a daughter together. Sam might not have known Dewey all too well, but she knew he was a good man. He and you were robbed of getting to be a family. He was robbed of getting to be a father and you were robbed of getting a loving father.

Sam nodded. “She’s very protective,” Sam said quietly. “She won’t let anyone, no matter who they are,” She smiled to herself, remembering how you got with her when it came to Tara, you didn’t care she was Tara’s older sister, your only priority was making sure Tara was okay, “hurt someone she loves.”

Sam caught the small, yet sad, smile on Dewey’s face. Sam whipped the wheel, making another sharp turn. Everything was going to be fine, you were with Tara, you would protect her, and she and Dewey were on the way, no one else was going to die today.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Top 15 Maiko moments

Since I made a Kataang list, and I think it's only fair I do it for Maiko too.

#15 - Casually leaning against each other during a meal (03x05)

I'm starting off the list with the neverending trend that is "Maiko being unbelievably clingy."

I just can't deal witht he fact that these two both have demonstrated some difficulty/discomfort when other people get too touchy with them - yet you leave them in a room together and these motherfuckers suddenly think they're siamese twins.

They're not even trying to be romantic, they just... naturally gravitated towards each other and stayed in that position because it's what feels familiar and comfortable for them.

I remind you guys that The Beach is the episode in which they are at the most incompatible, yet even that episode is visually showing us "These dumbasses are so in love they just naturally act like a couple without even meaning to."

#14 - "It'll be nice to Zuko again. Won't it, Mai?" & Baby Mai's crush on Baby Zuko (02x03 & 02x07)

I know, I know, I'm cheating with this one because they are two separete moments from two different episodes, but SUE ME, I couldn't pick a favorite between them, and I also didn't want to remove the previous moment from the list, and "Top 16" just doesn't doesn't feel right.

I just love the way Mai is acting all shy whenever she so much as looks at Zuko in "Zuko Alone", how she clearly WANTS to hang out with him but doesn't really know how to start a conversation with him and feels all awkward.

And then years later, in the middle of a mission, she's just... happy that she might see him again, even if it's not in the most ideal situation. It's cute and I love it when Mai is happy and showing some of the emotions that hide behind her apathy for seemingly everything and everyone.

#13 - Grumpy dumbasses at the party (03x05)

On this one, those two just skipped several years ahead and went straight to "Bickering like a couple that has been married for fourty years, are clearly about to fight, yet refuse to get any space because WHY would they want to be away from each other? What a strange notion!"

Seriously, I lost count of how many times my grandparents had that exact same conversation when they're feeling the need to be difficult, and that scene made me have the same reaction I always have during these moments:

They're annoyed at each other, yet they just... refuse to not to be near each other. And Mai's first instinct when she wants something is to tell Zuko to go get it for her, and he does because, once again, they just have no freaking clue how NOT to be a couple (and it took what, fifteen minutes for her to go check on him after their fight because she just doesn't know what the fuck she has to stay for if he's not around? That's a marriage if I've ever seen one).

Also Zuko's line of "That food was for my cranky girlfriend!" makes me laugh every time and it's actually so cute that he wants to spoil his girl even when they're both in a terrible mood.

#12 - First date/kiss (The Lost Adventures Comic)

This moment is just SO. FREAKING. ADORABLE.

The way we see a bit more of Mai's prankester side (girl was friends with Azula and Ty Lee for a reason) and how Zuko can't help but find it endearing, the way they blush and act all unsure of themselves after he touched her shoulder, how Zuko can't even look at her when he admits that he likes seeing her happy and enjoying herself, Mai basically admiting that for a while she did the equivalent of "Little boy pulling at a girl's hair because he likes her and can't deal with it", and then, of course, the kiss. It's all just great.

And I gotta love how this date only happened because Azula set it up because Zuko was acting all angsty and saying he wouldn't go back to the Fire Nation - so she reminds him that something, or rather someone, he REALLY wants wasn't going to be around much longer, and that boy just doesn't hesitate to take the bait.

Also Azula and Ty Lee were HILARIOUS while spying on them, and the irony that Azula is basically playing 3D chess with her brother's love life for her own benefit, only to then accidentally shoot herself in the foot by the events she set in motion is just too good.

I really wish we could have seen this in a flashback during the actual show. It's just not fair that this little gem is hidden away in a comic.

#11 - Mai covering Zuko's eyes (03x05)

Yet another silly, very quick moment that I'm likely the only one obsessing over, but I can't help it, I live for stuff like that. Zuko is on full rage mode for being on the island at all and thus Mai is getting very grumpy and annoyed at him... yet the second they witness the gross sight of Li and Lo in bathing suits, she just covers her boyfriend's eyes to spare him of the horror that is old people who ran out of fucks to give (and that is totally not their own fate when they're Li and Lo's age).

The inherent cuteness of their relationship seeping into every scene, even when they are not on their best moment, is just one of the things I love the most about this ship. If they're not "meant for each other" like some dumbasses insist, then how come they're so married?

Plus it was really funny, and I like it when things are funny. The more it makes me giggle, the higher it goes on the list XD

#10 - First on-screen kiss (03x01)

This moment had me SHOCKED the first time I watched the show. I already thought Mai's crush on Zuko was cute, and I knew the series could make them a couple eventually - but I did not expect them to get together in between seasons. 7-year-old me was like "WAIT, THAT'S ALLOWED?"

Also, I've always loved how that moment started. Zuko is staring dramatically into the horizon, being angsty and walking right into an existential crisis - and Mai just goes "No, we're not doing that." It's just so fucking funny.

And it's also the first exemple of these two being completely unable to keep their hands to themselves. Mai just hugs him, touches his scar, and kisses him, and Zuko, who had trouble even hugging Iroh back, just... lets her. Because he doesn't mind it one bit when she does it.

I just really like how Mai's default way of comforting Zuko is by offering physical affection. It's freaking adorable. Also their "first" kiss happening in a gloomy day, with dark clouds everywhere, yet they're off in their own little world, just happy to be in each other's arms, is "Maiko in a nutshell." Add in some emo music and it becomes the most mid 2000s AMV ever.

#09 - "I'm sorry, Mai" (03x10)

This scene is one that just drives me up the wall with how much I love it. It's such a short little moment, but it's so significant to their relationship. Zuko wants to continue enjoying the life he has at the Fire Nation. He wants all the comfort that comes with being a prince, the approval of his father, the security of knowing he'll always have roof over his head and will one day be Fire Lord - and wants to stay and be with his girlfriend because he LOVES her.

But he can't. Because he knows innocent people will suffer and die if he doesn't stop his father. So he has to leave behind everything he holds dear, including Mai. He can't even say goodbye in person, both because it hurts and because what if something goes wrong and he ends up captured? He can't risk it.

So he leaves her a letter and says aloud an honest apology that he knows she can't hear, because he just HAS to say that he never wanted this.

More importantly though:

That boy heard Azula's mocking comment in "The Avatar And The Fire Lord" and decided "You know what, maybe I should go see the royal painter and bring Mai along so we can have a portrait of us as a couple."

I just love them so much.

#08 - Confrontation at the Boiling Rock (03x15)

This is a BIG one. Mai is obviously pissed at him because of the way he broke up with her, and she cannot understand why the hell ZUKO, someone who has always been so deeply patriotic and a very proud prince is suddenly leaving everything behind to go help out a bunch of traitors.

Zuko stands his ground, and tries to make her understand - and then out of nowhere he just HAS to brag about how awesome she is when a guard offers to protect her. He simply not hesitate to basically say "Oh yeah, she could totally give me a hard time during a fight, ain't that great?" (Also the fact that the show never gave us a moment of them throwing knives together even though Zuko has a knife too is a CRIME).

But, of course, real life has to "ruin" the moment. Zuko sees an oportunity to go help his friends, and escapes the cell, locks the door - and then they just stare into each other's eyes, for what they know might be the last time.

Mai's confusion and rage. Zuko's resolve to do what's right no matter the cost. Just that certainty that, whatever they both decide to do now, it will be final. There's no turning back from this. If their relationship ends that day, it ends FOREVER.

It literally lasts just a few seconds, but it's intense and does such an amazing job of allowing the characters to communicate with each other, and the audience, on what they're feeling.

And it's also the perfect set up for:

#07 - "I love Zuko more than I fear you" (03x15)

Literally NO ONE saw this coming, not even Mai herself, and if you tell me you did I'm gonna call you a liar, because OH MY FUCKING GOD!

Everything went wrong, the good guys are about to get captured, the situation is hopeless... and then in comes Mai, risking it all and taking a huge leap of faith.

She doesn't fully get why Zuko is so sure joining the Avatar will be good for their nation. She doesn't know if that will work out like he hopes. But she trusts him, and allows him to go for it, because she knows HIM, knows all the pain he went through trying to be Ozai's perfect son, and if he wants to throw his "perfect" life away just to be the one actually in charge of it, goddammit, she's on board and will do the same.

She knows there's no way she escapes that place with Zuko, it's too late for that. But she can allow HIM to leave "safely", while she stays behind and faces Azula's wrath - and she doesn't care, because she knows there's NOTHING Azula can do to her that would ever hurt as much as living with the knowledge that she just stood by and watched the downfall of the person she loved the most, that she chose to submit to Azula yet again instead of being her own damn self at long last.

It's the proof of Mai's devotion for Zuko, the moment in which her life became her own again, it's one hell of a plot-twist, and leads to yet ANOTHER epic moment of characters staring at each other with daggers in their eyes (and hands), and it's fucking beautiful!

#06 - Fight and reconciliation by the fire (03x05)

I can't lie, I'm a sucker for characters hitting their breaking point, confronting each other, letting all their rage and pain out - and then one puts everything aside to show some vulnerability and care for the other.

Zuko has not been feeling great about himself, and is taking it out on his girlfriend. Mai is not perfect either, and can't see that even Zuko's more "clueless" actions like giving her a sea-shell that she obviously wouldn't like is just him genuinely trying to be nice to her despite his impulse to act like a jerk, because he CARES.

Zuko is feeling insecure, wants reassurance, but Mai doesn't notice, and so he starts feeling threatened by a guy she full on says might as well not exist in her eyes. It's bad, but it's yet more proof that he CARES.

She goes after him after their fight, they open up a bit, Mai reminds Zuko that his sad life doesn't excuse the way he's been acting and when she stands up for herself against AZULA it just makes Zuko go instant simp mode and try to act all smooth and pull her close with that "I like it when you express yourself" (I can never get over that - boy, I know you're a teenager on vacation with your hot girlfriend that looks so cute when she's mad, you two are not alone yet, keep it in your pants!)

And then it happens. Zuko just loses it, can't deny that he is feeling like he is betraying himself because he no longer knows right from wrong and that is freaking him out because, even when he is firmly on the wrong side, he had ALWAYS been sure of his convictions and what he stands for, but now everything is messy and he doesn't know what he should care for.

Cue Mai deciding to forgive him for his angry outburts, for the unfair accusations, for the general unpleasant atitute, and just give him a bit of the support she now sees he had been needing and wasn't getting. A simple, straight-forward "I care about you", and a kiss - which Zuko eagerly accepts, and he IMMEDIATELY just keeps holding her close, all the fighting forgotten because he still has one source of stability in his life, one person he can rely on to be by his side when he doesn't know what he is doing.

05 - Cuddles and dessert (03x09)

This is the point where it became borderline impossible for me to pick my favorites, and I'll probably regret the order a million times, but I gotta post this already.

I love this scene. I just genuinely adore it with all my heart. Them looking at each other all cute, smiling and unable to keep their hands to themselves, and Zuko just once again showing that he like spoiling his girl by asking a servent to bring something FOR THE LADY. Name literally one other character that has Zuko acting like that - YOU CAN'T! NOT EVEN WHEN HE WENT ON A CUTE DATE WITH SOMEONE ELSE!

The whole vibe is just so domestic and cosy. Literally the only thing that is missing is a cat purring next to them and it'd be my idea of heaven.

#04 - Supportive Mai (03x09)

Nightmares and daydreams really is THE Maiko episode. The fact Zuko goes to Mai's house for comfort and distraction when the meeting he thinks he's been excluded from is happening says a lot about how much she means to him (and for once her parents not being around is a good thing 👀), and then later he opens up to her about what bothered him about being Ozai's perfect son because he trusts her to be there for him. They've truly done some amazing progress after The Beach.

Mai's concern for him is just genuinely touching. Even when she doesn't know exactly what to say or do, she's still trying so hard because she doesn't like seeing Zuko truly down, and that is what made her his safe-space this entire episode.

#03 - "That gloomy girl that sighs a lot?" (03x14)

Look at that boy. LOOK. AT. THAT. BOY.

He is just so smitten and clearly missing her. He LIKES the traits that the fandom insist makes her "unlikeable", that led to characters making fun of her in universe, the coping mechanism she used to protect herself from being hurt by people like her parents - can't get hurt if you don't care.

And Zuko doesn't see it as something she needs to change in herself, something undesirable, something he puts up with. He likes what everyone insists is a flaw of hers, and will so even when being teased about it because he can relate to being moody and angsty and cranky and wouldn't judge her for it because she's the person that consistently likes that about him too.

#02 - "You're so beautiful when you hate the world" (03x02)

This was the moment that made them one of my favorite Avatar ships. These two just not giving a fuck if that they're being embarrassing and cringy and just judging the whole world together and being disgusted by everything except each other. Not only is it a funny, wholesome moment, it is THE most accurate portrayal of a teen romance I've ever seen in my life. Just two dumbasses being in love and saying whatever nonsense they want, and kind of relating to each other for it.

Also them just basically telling Azula to fuck off because they wanna keeping making out was amazing.

01 - Reunited at the end (03x21)

Once again. Look at that boy. Just you LOOK. AT. THAT. BOY.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

They're so cute. They're so happy. It's literally what their entire romantic arc in season three had been building up to and I'm forever greateful that the writers didn't rob us, and them, of it just because the fandom can't appreciate a good thing even as it stares them right in the face.

They're both finally on the same page, ready to support each other no matter what, with nothing and no one standing on their way, and allowing themselves to just enjoy their love. It's what they deserve.

[apricotgojo]

✧.* we like short shorts! ✧.*

・❥・ Pairing: Toji/Reader ! NSFW ! MDNI !

・❥・ Word count: 3.6K

ׂ╰┈➤ summary: The only pair of wearable clothing he could find are his teeny-tweeny shorts from his teen years but no one’s gonna be up to see him, right?

ׂ╰┈➤ Tags: Toji is feral, unprotected sex, reader is a menace, cum!, cunnilingus, toji has a nice ass, facial <3, p in v, hair pulling.

A/N : i feel very filthy after writing this :) i couldn’t stop thinking about toji in lil short shorts tho so enjoy bbs!

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

"shit."

It was one of those nights for Toji - Laundry night. Only the slight issue was that he realized that all his clothes had a hole in them. Every single piece of clothing he owned had some type of hole in it - be it big or small. The realization kicked in when he noticed that his left nut was hanging out of a hole in his boxers.

And that's why he was standing completely butt-naked, brows furrowed at his entire wardrobe splayed out on the floor. He had work in the morning - fuck, he had work in the morning and he didn't have a clean or decent piece of clothing to wear.

He rubs his palm across his mouth as he contemplates his entire existence. It was his fault and he knew it - All those times he shrugged when he saw the, once tiny, hole in his clothes, all those times he swore that he would buy new underwear at least and completely ignored them when he passed by them at a shop. Maybe this realization will finally be enough for him to get off his ass and go buy some decent clothes.

He knew somewhere in the pile splattered around him there were clothes that weren't in the worst state possible for him to go to work with - but were they clean? fuck no.

He let out a deep sigh - He needed to go down and wash his clothes. Even if it was 2 in the morning, he was gonna go insane if none of his clothes were remotely wearable. Thing is, what was he even going to wear to go down to the communal laundry room? He couldn't wear boxers without a part of his dick showing, all his shorts had big ass holes in them and- wait.

Something in the corner of the room catches Toji's eye. Were those his old basketball shorts? He makes his way towards the piece of clothing and crouches down to pick it up. After examining it, a sigh of relief escapes his lips - no fucking holes.

The last time he wore those basketball short was when he was 14 years old. He is now past his 30's. Those shorts he had on were no longer considered to be basketball shorts. Not with the way he thought the circulation from his thighs was about to get cut off. He didn't even bother looking in the mirror as he strode off with a bag full of his clothes.

Who was going to be up doing laundry at 2AM anyway?

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

Your face scrunched up as you gathered the cum stained bed sheets in your arms. At least one of you had a good time.

You needed to stop meeting guys on tinder and expecting mind-blowing sex. It just isn't possible. You haven't had a guy make you cum in weeks and you were embarrassed for each and every single one of them at this point. This night was the same as the others - guy comes over, guy is awkward, guy touches you, guy lasts five minutes, guy says "that was amazing babe!", guy leaves. And you were left alone at night with your trusty vibrator wand between your legs to compensate for what the other men lacked. Only tonight, the guy you fucked decided that he wanted to pull out - great, fantastic even! issue was that his jizz landed everywhere except your body. Your vibrator just had to wait a little longer because you definitely weren't sleeping with crusty cum on your sheets. - ew!

You made your way out of your apartment and downstairs, the cum sheets gathered in your arms. You doubted anyone would even be up at this time of the night so you didn't even think about getting decent before you left your apartment. All you were wearing was a piece of fabric that were barely considered as shorts, not with the way they rode up your thighs, showing half your ass cheeks in them and a tiny , tight top with no form of underwear whatsoever. All you needed to do was get go down, put the clothes in the washer, wait and-

holy. fucking. shit.

You stop dead in your tracks at the sight in front of you. A broad, bare, muscular back was facing you and so was a nice piece of ass in teeny-weeny, tight , red shorts. Your face flushed as you took in every detail of the mans backside - noticing how the shorts slightly rode up his built thighs, hugging every muscle and curve in this mans lower half. His ass looked so damn good that you kind of started feeling insecure. If he looked this good from the back, you were drooling at the thought of what he might look like from the front. The dark haired man had the palms of his hands resting on the washing machine,

"Work, god damn it!" He growled as he hit the side of the washing machine with a flat hand. You jumped at the sudden tone and bang! It put you out of the trance his body had you in and you decided to help him - and maybe get a good look at what he's packing from the front too.

"Hey, don't hit the-"

"FUCK!" He suddenly shouted - startled at the sudden sound of your voice, causing him to whip around to face you and put a hand on his heart as he leaned against the machine. "You almost gave me a fucking heart attack, holy shit!" His breathing was hitched and his chest was heaving up and down. If you didn't have any form of self control you would probably let your jaw drop because god DAMN - he was beyond hot. Hot couldn't even begin to describe him. He was crafted by the gods - he has a face that was made to be looked at and with a body to match. His upper body was delicious and you couldn't help to think about the taste that would linger on your tongue after you've licked every crevasse of him. Your brain was getting fuzzy and overloaded with thoughts as your eyes shamelessly scanned down his body, down to the happy trail leading to the hem of his shorts and, Fuck, is he also not wearing any underwear? You gulp - was he even aware that his shorts did absolutely nothing to hide the absolute length of him which you could see pressed against his thigh, on soft. Your head feels dizzy and heat rushes to your face and between your legs. You didn't know if it was the fact that you haven't been dicked down properly in what felt like light years or if it was the fact that he was so attractive that if your pussy could speak, she would be screaming for him right about now. Probably both. Suddenly, the bundled up sheets fall from your grasp and you swear under your breath, scrambling to get them.

Toji, although startled, couldn't help himself from checking you out as you bent down to grab your sheets while wearing such a skimpy little outfit. In fact, staring at you made his already tight shorts feel waayyy tighter. He felt his cheeks heat for a moment and he quickly snatched the bag he used for his clothes and put it in front of him in what he thought was a casual manner. "'M sorry for scaring you," you let out a nervous chuckle as you make your way to him with the sheets now in your arms again. "but hitting the washing machine like that isn't going to make it work"

He watched as you walk towards him and he cocked an eyebrow, "Yeah? I've been trying to get this piece of shit working for the past twenty minutes. I don't think anything is gonna make it work" You obviously didn't fail to notice the way he was trying to hide his dick from you and a smile tried to force its way on your lips. "You're probably doing it wrong"

He narrows his eyes at you, "you try and make it work then, doll-face." He challenges and your heart skips a beat at the nickname. Say less - you thought to yourself. You got down on your knees in front of him and the washing machine. Toji gulped - hard as he looked down at you. You looked so pretty looking up at him like that.

your face looked so fuckable. He didn't even try to stop the lewd thoughts from filling up his mind. He imagined how pretty you'd look as he smeared the tip of his cock against your lips. He imagined how good it would feel to have you choke, spit and cry on his cock. Oh yeah- he'd grab you by the hair and fuck that mouth of yours until you were sobbing. He wouldn't stop until he came down your th-

The washing machine suddenly starts whirring and he lets his mind pause for a moment.

You smirk up at him, "You had a sock stuck between the door."

"Oh," he scratches the back of his neck

You lock eyes with him for a moment and you swear you could see his cheeks turn a hint of pink.

He clears his throat and is the first one to break the eye contact. "Thanks, I guess" he clicks his tongue and averts his gaze to anywhere but your kissable lips.

You get up from the floor and dust your knees, giving him a shrug. "Anytime."

He really needed to stop thinking about you - right now. Or else he was going to bend you over and fuck you against this damn washing machine. His dick was basically throbbing in his pants and he knew that if he set down the bag there would definitely be a dark patch of pre-cum stained on his shorts.

You make your way to the other washing machine and hum to yourself. You felt smug. This poor man who was trying to do his laundry in peace was definitely hard as a rock and you noticed. You noticed that you made him nervous. You noticed that you made him weak. and you fucking wanted him inside you. So every next move you made now was calculated.

you knew he was watching from the corner of his eye and so you made sure to arch your back a little bit more than usual as you stuffed the washing machine with the sheets.

"fuck-" toji breathed under his breath as he caught a glimpse of your ass in those 'shorts'. Toji closes his eyes, his head tilting back. Behave- he told himself internally. He already got in trouble with the landlord once before for smoking a joint in the corridor and he was not ready to get in trouble again for waking up the entire block because of your screaming. No, he'll do his laundry, dry his clothes, go back to his apartment and have a nice wank to the thought of you. Yeah that's what- Oh fuck no.

He watches as you were struggling to fit the sheets in the machine , every little push you were making had those shorts rising higher and higher up your ass. He watched as it jiggled with every little push you made. Were you doing this on purpose? did you want to kill the man? wait - you were doing this on purpose.

After closing the door and waiting for the clothes to start spinning, you get up, and dust your hands. You didn't have anytime to think before you felt something hard hit your back. And something poke against your ass.

"I don't usually do shit like this but i can see it on your face that you want to get fucked by me," His hot breath tickles your ear and it send shivers down your spine. "Don't ya'?"

You gulp, your legs automatically pressing together at the sound of his low voice. "Bold of you to assume that," You suck in a sharp breath, not daring to look back at him. "and what if i do?" You could feel him smirk against your ear, your body tensing up and your back arching slightly against him.

"How could I refuse to give a pretty girl what she wants?"

Your head slowly turns to face him- sharp, sea-blue eyes piercing into yours. Your eyes glance down for a moment and holy shit. He was huge. Those shorts look like they were about to rip open with his length poking out like that, bunching up his shorts to reveal even more of his muscular thighs.

"Eye's up here, doll~" He purrs and your eyes shoot back to his.

He licks his lips, a deathly smirk curling on them right before he kisses you. Hard.

You two were like animals the moment your lips touched, every bit of self control completely lost as your hands got lost in his hair. His hands instantly grab your ass, squeezing it so hard that you moan against his lips. With one hoist, your legs secured themselves around his waist. Tongues and teeth were clashing in the heated kiss, and while he was holding you up by your ass, you shamelessly tried to grind against him for any type of friction. He bit your lower lip and tugged at it, his eyes opening as he set you down on top of the spinning washing machine. You both pulled away for a moment, taking in each others disheveled features. Those tiny shorts of his were going to be the death of you and you couldn't control yourself as your fingers flied to the hem of them, tugging. He grabbed your face with one hand, squishing your cheeks as he smirked down at you.

"You want this dick, pretty?" he whispers and his eyes trail down to the way you were rubbing your legs together as the washing machine vibrates beneath you. "Oh look at you~" he teases , his thumb sliding across your wet lips. "You must be so wet f'me." a grin spread across his face.

He lets go of your face and a strained whimper leaves your mouth as you watch him get down in front of you. The vibrations from the washing machine beneath you were leaving you wanting more.

His hands grab your knees and he slowly pulls your legs apart, the heat already radiating against his face. You weren't wearing any panties so the thin material of your shorts was sticking to your soaked cunt. He hums as his thumb caresses the wet piece of fabric, your hips jolting forward at his touch. He peppers light kisses along your thigh while he uses a finger to curl under the material and move it to the side - your dripping core fully exposed for him.

It was really a sight to see, watching as it throbbed at nothing but the vibrations and the little touch he gave you with his thumb. "hah- you don't even know my name and look at you - fucking soaked."

He looked so hot between your legs with that smug smirk as he looked up at you. You wanted to just stuff your pussy in his face already.

"What's your n-name?" You rasp out.

"Toji." He hums, his thumb rubbing lazy circles on your clit.

"Tojiiii~" You moan out, throwing your head back at the feeling of his thumb. and something in him snaps at the sound of his name leaving your lips.

"fuuuuck." He breathes before diving his face into your pussy.

A hand flies to your mouth as you tried not to scream. Oh ~ he knew how to use his tongue - really well. The free hand grabs onto his hair, pulling his face further into your throbbing cunt.

He was absolutely devouring you, moaning into your pussy as he licks up your sweet juices. "You taste soooo fucking good." His voice was muffled and his lips wrap around the sensitive nub, harshly sucking at it. You yelp out in surprise, and your thighs tighten around his head. Finally- a man who knew where the clit was. You knew you weren't gonna last, not with the vibrations, not with this mans tongue and as if it couldn't get any worse, he decides to put two thick and long digits inside of you, pumping in and out at an unforgiving pace. "shit- fuck- hgnh~" drool was spilling from the corner of your lips as your peak was approaching, your mind so hazy that all you could mumble between moans was his name and how you're about to cum. And then you do - you finally fucking cum. and it was really fucking good. your hips rolling against his face, your gummy walls throbbing around his fingers and your wetness dripping down his chin and neck.

You were twitching against him, his tongue still lapping at your overstimulated clit. He pulls his head out from between your thighs, finally catching his breath. He looks up at you, breathing heavily with a smile.

"Felt good?" He asks before wiping his mouth with his arm - getting up and towering over you again. He didn't even let you process a response because he's already grabbing you by your waist and flipping you over. Before you knew it you were bent over against the washing machine. "This is gonna feel even better~" he whispers in your ear and nibbles at your lobe while kneading your ass.

You gasp as you feel his tip rub against your puffy, dripping folds. "Gonna stretch this pussy out, yeah?" he coos, "best dick you're gonna get in your fucking life." And you did not protest at that because both you and him knew that he was absolutely fucking right.

The head of his cock pushes past your folds, agonizingly slow. "Gah-fuck, you're too tight baby-hah" He breathes in your ear.

It took everything in you for you not to scream as he filled you up. This was the biggest dick you've ever taken, by a fucking longshot. "Goooood girll, ease into it now~"

He thrusts into you once. Twice. Three times. and then you were completely filled by him. "T-Toji~ mmhh~ s-s'too big~" You whimper out, tears welling up in your eyes. "mmmm~ take it like a good girl f'me" He was consumed by your pussy, he could barely think about anything else other than ramming himself into your tight cunt. At first he pushed in and out slowly, just to test the waters with you and then when he heard you moan and push yourself back on his dick, he lost it and just like that, he was finally ramming into you.

You grip on the sides of the washing machine for support. "yesyesyesyesyesyesyes" You breath out with each thrust Your eyes roll to the back of your head and he grips you by your hair. The room fills with the most lewd noises, from the sound of his heavy balls slapping against your ass, to the sound of your cunt squelching with every thrust, his moans and growls and filthy little words about how fucking good you're taking it to the whimpers and cries of his name leaving your lips. Your hand reaches down between your legs, struggling, trying to rub at your sensitive clit as you feel the head of his cock press up against that sweet-sweet spot inside of you. Your pussy was definitely going to remember him, every fucking crevasse and vein of his throbbing cock. - It was already imprinted in your mind.

"Gonna....cum..." You pant out, eyes shutting and Toji grabs both your arms, pulling them behind your back so he could fuck deeper into you. Faster into you. "FUCK TOJI!" You scream out at the sudden change of angle and pace.

"Cum on my cock baby- fucking cum on it" He spits through gritted teeth.

He feels your walls tighten around his cock and he throws his head back, "Shiiiiiiittttt" He moans out.

And you cum again, twice as hard as the first time. You were babbling cusses and moaning as he kept fucking you, riding out your orgasm. Your legs feel like jell-o but Toji keeps your body against his for support as he keeps thrusting inside of you.

"Let me cum on that pretty face~" He whispers, kissing down your spine. He pulls out of you, his cock throbbing, ready to fucking explode.

You get down on your knees and he takes a second to admire how devastating you look when youre fucked out like that. Cheeks red, eyes watery and tired, lips red and bitten. He wanted to paint your face with his cum.

"Give it to me, Toji~" You whisper in such a fucked out manner that it almost drove him over the edge then and there.

And then you open your mouth, sticking your tongue out and that sight alone had him moaning loudly.

"fuuck yessss"

He barely had time to grab his dick before his tip began throbbing, shooting long spurts of white onto your tongue and all over your face. Exactly what he wanted.

You watch him as he panted, his head thrown back and you smiled up at him, licking your cum covered lips.

Just the sight of you covered in his cum was enough to make his cock twitch again. You looked so beautiful. Unfortunately, round two had to wait because the washing machine let out a little melody to alert that it was ready.

Toji ran a hand through his hair, "Let me get you cleaned up, gimme a moment." He mumbled and picked up his shorts from the floor.

He put them on again. You snorted, causing him to whip his head back in your direction.

"What's so funny?"

"You have a hole in your shorts."

"FUCK!"

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★

[kooksbunnnn]

Lost cause? 2: she knows me?

Previous chapter

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook× Female!Reader

Genre: Established relationship/ marriage, angst, heartbreak, INFIDELITY. Panic attacks(TRIGGER WARNING). Pregnancy (do not read if this content triggers you) also, 18+,

Summary: You always wondered, how would your life turn out to be if you and Jungkook had a baby? So, when you finally conceive and decide to tell your husband, that you are pregnant, you didn't expect him to drop this bomb on you. You never would've thought that the surprise you planned would end up in agonized tears because of the shock your husband brings you. 

Words: 3.9k

Please read the authors note at the end of the chapter. hehe~

••••••

It was all very awkward and heart-breaking, the explanations to both your parents, seeing your parents cry in front of you, seeing his dad bow his head out of shame, his mom hugging your sobbing body with tears in her eyes, no one could change anything so nobody tried to change the decision you both took. 

No divorce. That is what you both decided on the balcony that morning, but it's easier said than done. A series of drunken calls by him, panic calls by you, and crying sessions that included you both tiredly sleeping. Not forgetting the almost deadly morning sickness and cramps. 

The love and need you felt for Jungkook was not going anywhere, no matter how hard you tried, becoming so frustrating that you started thinking of divorce. But the idea was immediately turned down by your therapist considering the pregnancy. 

Yes, therapist. Never did you think you would visit one of these anytime soon. You lived separately, away from his physical self, but every little detail of the baby's growth was a part of his daily routine. You texted him about what the doctor told you in your appointments, and he told you to take care, and you always hung up asking him to do the same. 

It was his baby, too, so you thought he should know every detail about the growth of his blood, too, not realizing how you just needed some way to check on him. You didn't want to but you couldn't help it.

It was like a routine for every 2 weeks, a call every 14 days, and a text from him 5 to 6 times in the 24 hours to check up on your health. When he received the first ultrasound, he spent the whole evening making a bunch of hard and soft copies of the picture of his baby. So small, like a bean, making his heart ache with love. 

He wanted to be there. See it himself. Feel your belly. Kiss it. But he couldn't. 

The agony of not seeing each other continued for three and a half months when suddenly you felt a pain in your lower abdomen, making you panic. 

The therapist warned you of the consequences of the stress and the tears on the baby, the doctor did said that too but you couldn't physically control yourself from crying or giving in to the need to hear his voice whenever you cried, thinking not doing so might turn your health worse hence doing the same to the baby. 

Your mom stirred in her sleep at your yelp, alarming her, immediately getting up she took a look at you, seeing the tears in your eyes she ran up to your father and told him to take you to the hospital. Your father rushed from the guestroom he had been sleeping in since your mom insisted you sleep with her.

Rushing to the hospital, your pain didn't grow but didn't stop either. When the doctor started to diagnose the reason for the pain, you only prayed that the baby was fine. Tears in your eyes, you wished the circumstances were different, with your husband holding your hand while the doctor diagnosed you. 

But you were alone even with your mother standing beside you with concerned eyes. 

Soon, you got to know that it was because of the sleeping posture and the ligament pain, which was basically your body making space for the baby. With the advice of sleeping in a better posture with a pillow to tuck under your leg and some prescriptions, you open the door to exit the room. 

Thats when you see him. 

After three and a half months which felt like years, you lost your composure, especially when he came your way sprinting with long legs, fuzzy hair, bags under his eyes, mismatched clothing, you guess he was in a rush so he must have picked a random shirt over the joggers considering he sleeps shirtless. 

Also, were those different slippers? 

You saw how his eyes take you in and gloss up, making your vision blurry with tears, too. The hurt and anger of him cheating was still there, but the hormones of the pregnancy were messing with your mind, and you wanted to kick yourself for being happy at seeing him. 

"You okay? What did the doctor say? Is everything okay? Is she okay?" 

He always wanted a girl. The she in his sentence makes your heart squeeze, and you look at your mother with a clenched jaw.

Did she call him and tell him? Or was it your dad?

Sighing guiltily and avoiding your questing glare, she replies the questions that Jungkook asked, him still looking at you with concern while your mom explained everything. 

"Y/N I-" 

"Please go, Jungkook. Thank you so much for coming here, but I need you to go." You say sniffing, looking away from the concerned man in front of you.

The silence between you, Jungkook, and your parents was defeaning, broken by you moving past him, wiping the tears that flowed automatically on seeing him after so long.

Happy or sad, you have no idea. Relieved to be around him? For a second, maybe. You got mad at your parents and then later found out that your father had told Jungkook about your abdominal pain, but then he said he just couldn't see you in so much agony, and he just called him without anither thought.

You never wanted to see your father cry, but he did, and you felt helpless. You made your parents helpless.

How did it all become so painful?

The next two months went terribly since you stopped contacting him, stopped replying to his texts, occasionally texting him not more than three words. The fact that you got some kind of assurity through the texts was somewhere in the back of your head, but you didn't want to admit. No matter what. You can't. Thus, your anxiety is rising. 

When he reread the text, you last sent him four days ago. 'The baby is okay.' he felt his heart squeeze up, the thought of you assuming him texting for only the baby hurt him. He wanted to know about you too. He felt disgusted by the fact that he did this to you, the love of his life.

The last time you saw him made you realize that seeing him in person would not change the fact that he cheated on you, broke your heart even though you loved him, and you still love him. Fuck why do you still love him. Your heart and mind aches from all the heart break and your back aches feom lying down so much and the hormones making you mad makes you wanna punch Jungkook and then hug him, feel his warmth all around you. 

The sudden urge to take a walk in the garden downstairs to clear your head washes over you. Even though the doctor told you that you're not supposed to move much. You still try to get up when- 

"Ow! Fuck, fine I won't! I am much more  responsible than you, little one." 

You tell your baby as you feel the cramp in your back that makes your head fall back in frustration. The pain and the mood swings make you make an impulsive decision that involves you, your anger, and your phone. 

Finding the name in your contacts you click on it and hear the ringer do its job but at the second ring you realize what a big fucking mistake this might turn out to be, so you immediately turn the screen on to hang up but drop the phone on the mattress in the middle of the rushed action. 

"Hello?" A deep voice resounds on the mattress, making you freeze. Shit. 

You get up slightly to pick up your phone while he tries to get a reply from your side. The contact image smiling at you mocks your irritated face. Making you much more infuriated. 

"Y/N?" a whisper. 

"Yes, it's me, Jungkook!" You speak up a bit rudely, answering his question, the other side falling silent with a hint of traffic in the background. He must be getting back from work. 

"Are you oka-" 

"Why? Why did you do this? I loved you. I never did anything bad, so why do I have so many heartbreaks. It hurts! My heart and my head hurt!" 

Silence. 

"Answer me! You have no clue how much I wanna hate you, Jungkook. You dont know how is it to have all these fucking mood swings killing me, I dont have you. I cant expect these hormones to calm themselves on their own cause you're not around me?!" 

By the end of the rant, you start sobbing, your body shaking with the number of hiccups you're having. Jungkook always helped you with your moody episodes and cramps during your periods. He was always there. 

You just hope you dont wake up your sleeping dad, who took his blood pressure pills. You told him to sleep, but now you dont know if he could, considering your wails. Your mom out for maternity clothes shopping since moving and working in these normal ones was a pain in the ass. 

"I could be there, I wanna be there. I want you to know how much I regret my mistake just please...baby, let me in. Please." He whispers in the phone, clearly on the verge of crying. 

You sniff on your side, eyes shut tightly, giving him the cue to go on. 

"I would never, ever force you to t-take me back or f-feel something for me. Just let me be there when you need me. I won't talk or anything just please.." 

Taking the device off speaker you furiously bring the phone to your ears. "You really think its easy, huh? Well I dont think it would be if- ah!" 

You suddenly feel a tiny pulse like sensation on your tummy, and you freeze, dropping your phone. You think it's one of the pains you felt earlier, but this doesn't hurt. it's like a flutter. You gasp again as you feel it again, eyes widening with joy as you absentmindedly pick your phone up to tell your husband that your baby just kicked! 

The feeling of the baby moving inside you made your heart swell double in size, and you call out his name in the device, but your smile falls, seeing that he hung up. 

He must've reached home. 

Home. The visual of the shared apartment makes you sigh, reality hitting hard. Oh, how you wish you could be in your house, with him, without the suffocating memories of you crying in the kitchen. 

Your dad rushes in the bedroom, making you flinch as he slams the door open. 

"Y/N! Are you okay? Why are you crying? Did something happen? Did Jungkook say something? Did you call? Why are you-" 

"The baby kicked dad-" 

You gasp as it kicked once again, and your father laughs with surprised-teary eyes along with you.

"Oh my god, I don't know what it is that makes the little one kick, but I am gonna try finding it out. Help me figure it out, dad!" You say giggling as your eyes widen with happiness as the baby kicks again, but then you realize that the kick it gives you again is at the term dad. Fuck. 

Okay, the kid is genuinely testing your patience and emotional waters. 

"It's dad." You hear a whisper, and your heart stops beating for a second. When you turn your head towards the door when you see Jungkook and your mom. 

"It's me. She knows me. She knows who I am." He keeps whispering talking about the baby as he enters the room and slowly crouches down at the edge of your bed, staring at you, baby bump with tears in his eyes,

Hearing you sniff he looks up and sees his wife, the mother of his child, the love of his life, not even facing towards him during this moment and Jungkook couldnt help but grab the white duvet covering you, his hands itching to wipe your tears. 

Y/N. Look at me, please." 

You clench your jaw, tears slipping out of your eyes. When he whispers your name again, you shut your eyes frustrated. This is what you both wanted, right? This is what you've been trying for 1 year, right? Then why does it have to be so painful when you finally get it? 

"Y/N?" 

You snap your head, looking at him. Eyes glossy, face red and dark circles, a description suitable for the both of you. His face softens at your questioning stare, and he whsipers a barely audible answer, 

"You didn't answer when I called your name numerous times, so I thought you were in pain. I was near Taehyung's apartment when you stopped responding, so I came here straightaway.." 

"Taehyung's?" You ask. 

At your question, he wipes the sweat over his upper lip, diverting his gaze towards his lap. "Yea, he found out about- what I-I did, when I went to his place, all the hyungs know." He sniffs. Maybe that's the reason why Namjoon Jin and Yoongi tried calling you at least 6 times the week after you found out. Maybe that was the reason hobi visited your workplace, thinking you would be there. Maybe that's why the soulmates sent flowers to your workplace.

You thought they just knew about your pregnancy, hence the flowers, calls, and visits.

"I've been crashing there, in his guest bedroom. I just dont want to go to our place. it's not a home without you." He whispers. 

You look at him in silence, how he doesnt make eye contact, staring at his lap, as he fiddles with his fingers, you look up at your parents who have been there listening to the full interaction with worry in their eyes.

They were mad at Jungkook at first but knowing you needed him during this time the most, they couldnt tell you to seperate or move on and since he wronged you they couldn't call him over to comfort you. It was very painful and confusing for both families. 

Looking at your parents, you motion with your eyes to give you a moment of privacy.

You give them a small sad smile before they turn to leave the room.

"Jungkook?" 

He looks up, responding to your voice with a sniff. His nose was red, and his cheeks were all wet. 

"This is getting insufferable. To be honest, I wish all this never happened, but it did. You or me, we cant change that, but the fact that I cant leave you, cant get a divorce, cant control my emotions, cant eat the pancakes you made when I crave them at 4 in the morning so much!" Your voice starts quivering due to the tears and anger inside you. 

"It's killing me." You shake your head frustrated.

"Also, why can't I stop thinking about my therapist giving me hope about us? Why did it make me feel relief? Why do I want to give in?!" You look at him again, his eyes already on you. 

"Why did you have to ruin everything, Jungkook? This was our dream. Our dream! I want to forget you so bad, wanna forget how you broke my heart and oh! how I wanna change the things in which  they are, but I can't Jungkook! I can't! I'm stuck with you, your memories, your smell, the comfort you gave me, everything! Fuck I dont want to give in to the hope. I cant do that to myself!" 

You clutch your head, and he hesitantly gets up after a moment of heavy silence,  slowly sitting at the edge of the bed. You look up at him, still clutching your head with one hand while the other drops in your lap, brushing slightly against your baby bump. 

He takes his hand and places it on top of your resting one. He thought you would push him away, but you didn't. He looks up and removes your other hand from your head and puts it over the already interlocked hands in your lap. 

You feel weird thinking how you should pull your hand back, get away from him but at this moment nothing felt better, you needed him as your comfort and he understood that. 

He looks into your glassy eyes and sniffs, his nose scrunching. You now notice how chapped his lips are and how his eyes are red, a little bit of stubble on his face, piercings gone, and a dull skin tone. 

Your heart beats with anxiety, wanting to give in the hope but also wanting to create boundaries for yourself at the same time. Your heart was betraying you at the moment you wanted it to be strong.

You should be strong, you owed yourself that! But why does this comfort make you want to live in it, swim in it, so that it can wash away all your problems? 

"I-I will always be there, Y/N. Whatever you decide. I will leave immediately if you want a divorce, I swear I will never show you my face, ever again, if that makes you move on and forget me. But if you want, even for a second to try again? I will do anything to make things right. I won't come close. I won't touch you. I will stay somewhere else. You can be here with your mom and dad. Whatever you want, but if even for a moment, e-even as a forbidden thought, you think of trying? Please tell me?" He pleads, holding your hand, without moving his eyes from yours, as if afraid of losing the hope for the both of you. 

You inhale and exhale as an exercise your first therapist told you to do when anxious. His hands feel so warm you can't help but grab it, nails digging in his skin to make yourself make a decision. His face softens at your gesture. 

"Y/N I am very-" 

"Wait." 

You hold his hand and put it gently on your slightly 5 month swollen baby belly. He widens his eyes as after two seconds, you feel the baby kick again. This time without someone saying the word 'dad'. 

After five months, your baby felt the touch of the only person you could ever dream of having a family with. Jungkook, your husband, the love of your life. When you both stare at your belly, smiling, for a moment, you let go, you stop your compulsive mind to stop thinking of the consequences. You let yourself feel his hands. The warmth. The comfort, all seeping in. 

When you look up at him, you see that his eyes are wide, his chin quivering and his nose getting redder by the second, a sob leaving his mouth as you start crying too. The distance and the problems between you both getting overpowered by the feeling of fullness. The betrayal is not a part of your thoughts for the first time, only for a moment, but your mind felt happy.

The situation and the hand on your belly makes your mind feel a sad Déjà vu of the night he told you about what he did.

"She knows me. She knows her dad!" his voice gets you out of the memory you went in, and you see his face brightening up.

He sobs, and you feel your heart clench at this sight. Can things ever get better? Do you even see a future without tears along with Jungkook? Is your therapist right? Do you really think you could work this out? What if this is all due to hormones and you regret it later? But didn't the doctor and the therapist both say that you need the most loved person in your life to give you comfort and calm you down in anxious episodes? But what if he himself is the reason for the anxiety? 

These emotions are fucking with your head and you need to talk to the therapist yourself. Maybe with him this time. 

"Y/N?" 

He pats the back of your hand with his, hesitating for a second, afraid of your reaction to him holding your hand. Seeing that you didnt flinch, he continued, 

"You zoned out." 

You look at him blankly, his confused expressions mirroring your emotions. You feel your throat close up at the thought of saying you wanna try. Try again. You feel like you are betraying yourself. Letting your past depressed self down, but why dont you feel your heart clogging? Why are his red yet warm, familiar eyes so comforting? 

You certainly can not forget what he did. But would trying again be bad? Would it turn out to be disastrous? Do you really think that the cliché about couples therapy might be true? Can the issues between two people be solved by a stranger? Would you even be able to talk openly about your relationship? 

Looking at your dazed and blurry eyes, he takes one of his hands and pets your hair, slightly stroking it, understanding that you need him right now. He caresses your hair and untangles the knots you created while clutching your head. 

"I'm here. I'm always here with you. No matter what you choose, hm?" 

Your mind finally focuses on what you want, and you slightly sit up, tightening your hold on his hand. He knows it's now or never. You're gonna choose, and he is gonna have to make peace with whatever your choice is. If it means never showing you his face again, he will take it. But if you choose him? Choose to give him another chance? He will do whatever it takes to make things right.

You open your mouth to close it once again, his eyes wide with hope and concern when he sees you squeezing your eyes as if to rip the bandage off. 

"Should we give us another chance?" You whispered with a tight grip on his palm as if scared of letting yourself hear the words. Looking up, you ask him again, 

"Could we ever be us again?" You asked in a hushed whisper with a tear falling out of your eye. He felt his heart beat faster at you, giving him another chance. This time, he will make sure you dont regret this decision. He wanted to hug you so bad, wanted to kiss your tears away, and hold you while promising the second chance would be a decision he would make you happy that you did.

Instead, respecting your boundaries, he just squeezes your hand and says with a small-teary smile. 

"We would be better than before at this, Y/N. I promise."

••••••••••

Next chapter series masterlist main masterlist

Authors note: hie! I am back with another chapter, and I know it's been a long time since I updated, but I've been going through a lot of changes in my life right now and I really wanted to upload this last week, but I was busy with my internship interview preperation and assignments and exams.

Also, it's fiction, so let's just be calm because I love every BTS member, too, just like the readers of this series. Anyone who wishes to be a part of Lost Cause taglist, please message me or send me an ask! I love you all! Hehe~ plea

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Carpe Noctem 14

Warnings: dark elements, noncon, age gap, gaslighting, manipulation, other dark elements. Proceed with caution. (short!reader)

Note: Please let me know what you think as it helps me a lot with ideas and I love interacting with you all.

Part of The Club AU

Lloyd eases you back against him. You feel awkward, naked, your back flush to his torso, in the large tub. There’s more than enough room for both of you but it’s crowded nonetheless. He drags his hand up your side and grazes the curve of your chest. You feel the twitch beneath you.

He nudges your head back to rest on his shoulder. The tension tapers away from his body as he reclines beneath you. He keeps his hand just below your chin as his other walks up and down your figure, from thigh, to hip, to waist, to tits. You can’t help but be on edge.

You grip the side of the tub, too nervous to let all your weight down on him. His breath rocks you subtly as he purrs with each breath. He’s getting harder for the minute and entirely unashamed of it. He dips a hand beneath the surface, lifting you slightly to let his dick pop up completely.

He lets you back down, his erection firmly against the small of your back. You try not to shudder. You’re not necessarily revolted, not by him, more disappointed in yourself. You feel your pelvis burning already. You’re too weak, you can’t take anymore.

His hand crawls over the top of your thigh as his other hand hooks under your arm. He gropes your tit, meanwhile his other hand finds its way to your vee. He taps on your tender flesh and you squeeze your legs together. It’s a poor show of resistance as he pokes between them and you splay open to his touch.

You whimper as he delves between your folds, his warmth revealing the cool slickness there. He tuts and bites the shell of your ear. He centers on your clit, spreading your lips with ring finger and index, as he roll his middle finger over your bud. He draws tight circles that quickly have you quiver.

You heave and clutch the porcelain tighter. He follows the line of your arm and unclasps your hand from the tub. He guides it up and over your head, nestling it against his own. You can’t help but grip him tightly, hips rocking under the water as you goad him on.

How does he do this to you? You don’t understand. You don’t love him, not like you do Johnny. He’s barely more than a stranger, yet that thought alone is enough to spark a spatter of heat through you. You close your eyes and tilt your head back, babbling and begging as Lloyd’s fingers dance frantically.

You clamp his hand between your thighs and buck, cumming with a splash of water as he chuckles. The pique is short lived and leaves you to your shameful afterglow. You forged the tugging need that drove your body over your mind and turn your head to dwell in regret.

What would Johnny think? Maybe he was right all along. You were loyal to him but look how quickly you became… this?

“Don’t think about him when you’re with me,” Lloyd warns as his hand trails down further and he curls his fingers inside you, “or I’ll have to make you forget.”

He moves his hand, pressing against your clit as he builds the pulsing pressure. You croak and tear your arm down to grip his wrist. It hardly deters him as he wiggles his hand faster and faster. You ache hotly around him, overworked but desperate once again for another release.

“The only thought you should be having about that cuck,” he growls against your head, “is how I’ve already fucked more orgasms out of you than he ever could.”

You gasp and spasm, his words driving your climax as much as his touch. You shake atop him, wrapped up in his hold and the pleasure he deals. Your eyes roll back and all you can think of is that moment and the blinding heat that overtakes your being.

👄

The path from the tub back to your bed is hazy. You only know that the maid must have taken the opportunity to intrude. The bed is made neatly and your belongings are in the corner with the basket of goodies. Lloyd sits you against the headboard and you pull a pillow between you and the hard frame.

Before he can pull away, you catch his wrist. He looks down at you with half a scowl, staring at how you clutch his wrist. You look at the bruises around his eye, the swelling in his nose, and the small split along the bridge. You frown.

“I’m sorry he did that to you,” you murmur.

He tugs but relents, turning to you completely with a crooked smirk, “Let me say the asshole isn’t so tough when his punching bag hits back. Trust me, he looks worse.” He gently slips his arm from your grasp, “always has but now he’s hideous as fuck.”

“Oh,” you swallow.

“Don’t take it to heart, babe, I’ve had worse–”

“Did you put ice on it? It’s starting to flare up–”

“Look, sugar tits, I’m fine–”

“Do you have witch hazel? Those bruises are only going to get darker–”

“Christ almighty, I’m fine. Why don’t you take a look in the mirror before you worry about my face?”

“But… I owe you,” you frown, “and it has to hurt.”

“The only thing you owe me is a good fuck once you’re back on your feet,” he scoffs, crossing his arms as the towel droops low on his hips, “I can take care of myself.”

“I’m not saying you can’t, but…”

“I’m not a baby.”

“I didn’t say that either. I just… want to help.”

His brows furrow and he huffs. He shakes his head and stomps away. He goes to the bag he hastily packed and takes out the lamp, setting it to the side as he searches the depths. He pulls out a long tee, the striped one you wear on your period.

He nears you again and drops it over your legs. You thank him but that alone makes his wince.

“Like I said, we fuck and we go on our way,” he backs up, “you should get your shit together. You got work tomorrow.”

He spins on his heel and swiftly leaves the room. You sit puzzled, groaning as you reach for the tee shirt. His sharp shift in demeanour reminds you of Johnny in some ways; one moment sweet as pie, the next cold and distant. Similar but not the same.

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

I'm Your Man - Robert 'Rosie' Rosenthal x OFC - Chapter 6

Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |-| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18

AO3

Summary: In the wake of a tragic mission and the loss of a friend, Frankie is ordered to spend some time at Coombe House to recover her strength

Warnings: Language, Frankie's potential drinking problem

Word Count: 4.3k

Tags: @mads-weasley @xxluckystrike @curaheehee @footprintsinthesxnd @dcyllom @storysimp @latibvles @love-studying58

George's forehead pressed against the place where Frankie's neck met her back, warm air blowing down the back of her pyjama shirt whenever she breathed. Their hair was a tangled mess of brown and blonde, bodies struggling for space upon the narrow mattress. Whenever one moved, the other instinctively placed a foot down on the cold floor to brace themself from rolling off completely. The beds were narrow enough with only one sleeper, but the extra body made it almost impossible to lie comfortably, the mattress springs and metal bedframe digging in at awkward angles. And yet it seemed the only way they could truly rest, the steady breathing of the other a reminder that not all was lost.

"Why do we love them, George?" Frankie asked quietly, picking at a crack in her fingernail. "When we know they might not come back."

George lifted her head off the pillow, craning to look over at Frankie as she scooped the hair out of her face. "Because we're like that. You and me, we love people so fast that we forget to think about the bad parts," Frankie sighed, rolling over to look at her as a frown creased George's brow. "Frankie, I don't talk to pilots anymore. I barely even go near them, I'm too scared of what will happen if I start caring again. I don't want you to have to live like that."

Frankie shook her head slightly. "Well, it was different with Bucky and me - we're friends, but it's not like what you and Curt had."

"Frankie..."

"What?"

"I'm not talking about Bucky."

She was silent for a moment, considering this. The bedsheets rustled noisily as she sat up, staring at the wall opposite, feeling George's gaze on the back of her head as she spoke. "He pulled through when no one else did - his was the only plane that came back, that's gotta mean something. Like... like he's better than the others."

It's about luck, not skill. She knew they were both thinking it. George would never say it, would never taunt her with that possibility, but they both knew it could happen. Rosie could go up one day and simply never come back down. Just like Cleven. Just like DeMarco. Just like Bubbles. Just like Bucky.

"I start work in an hour," Frankie muttered, almost flinching as her bare feet touched the cold floor as she got up out of bed, tip-toeing across the room towards the bathroom. George sighed and went back to staring at the ceiling.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

A pencil hung from between Frankie's teeth as she rummaged through the supplies that littered the mechanics' Nissen hut. In the last few days, the constant back-to-back missions had taken priority over keeping any sense of order, and the place had descended into chaos, everything tossed in at random without rhyme or reason. She was wrestling with a stack of sheet metal as the door creaked open, another figure entering the room. Frankie was scarcely alone in here, so the intrusion caused no alarm - until her visitor spoke.

"Serge?"

Looking up from her work, her brow arched in confusion, plucking the pencil out from her mouth. "Colonel?"

Colonel Harding stood at the end of the shelves, hands folded politely behind his back. When it looked like she was about to drop the metal, he stepped forward, helping her to steady the unwieldy sheets as she uttered her thanks, slotting them away on the correct shelf.

"Sergeant, have you considered taking some time off?"

Frankie frowned, stuffing her hands into her pockets as she shrugged. "I'm too busy for that."

Harding nodded slowly. "That does seem to be the gist of the problem. Rosenthal has informed me that you were very close with Major Egan," At the mention of Bucky's name, her shoulders tensed. "He's also told me that you've been extremely overworked lately. We both feel that some time away from Thorpe Abbotts could do you some good - make sure you can keep up your excellent work."

She paused for a long moment, mind racing a mile a minute. Had Rosie really gone behind her back? Told the Colonel, of all people, about what was going on?

"No. I'm good," She shook her head, turning away as she wandered down to the other end of the shelves to continue tidying. When she looked up, the Colonel was standing on the other side, looking at her through the wooden slats.

"It wasn't a request, Sergeant."

Frankie had been forced into a corner. And Rosie had made it happen.

"... Bugger."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The driver had dropped her off at the top of the long driveway, Coombe House looming large as she dug her heels into the gravel, carrying nothing but a battered suitcase and a raggedy old satchel. It felt like she had been dropped off in some garden of Eden, some fantasy world so far removed from her own that it was practically a different dimension. The first thing she noticed was the smell - rosebushes, freshly trimmed grass, not so much as a whiff of engine oil, the scent that had clouded her nostrils for years. Frankie tried counting the windows, but lost track somewhere around thirty, at which point she realised she'd done nothing but stand and stare for several minutes.

"You nervous?" Rosie asked, suddenly at her side. She hadn't noticed him approach, hadn't heard his footsteps against the pebbles. Hadn't noticed the way he'd stopped to take a long look at her in her dress uniform - a far cry from the coveralls he'd only ever seen her in before. Her hair was curled, her nails scrubbed of any dirt. She looked good.

Frankie shrugged. "Just a general aversion to the English upper class."

It took her a moment to realise who she was talking to. But when she did, she turned to glare at him, brow arched in equal parts question and judgment. "Did you tell Colonel Harding I was verging on a mental breakdown or some shit?"

He blinked. "I said you were tired. Sad."

She scoffed, handing him her bags without invitation. "Don't tell the Colonel I'm sad, he was lookin' at me like I was a nutcase."

Rosie chuckled, buckling slightly under the sudden weight of her luggage. "Well, I'm glad you could join us, if that's any consolation."

Frankie hummed, nodding slowly. "S'pose it'll have to do."

The Riveters had only arrived that morning, her appearance following by no more than a few hours, but already it seemed the flight crew was settling nicely. All except for Rosie, that was, who twitched like an anxious puppy, as if some magnetic force were repelling him from the doors of the building.

"I told them you're here. They wanted to roll out the full welcome mat, but I said you'd prefer it if I showed you around - keep it quiet, n'all."

She eyed him sideways. "I'm not sure there's anyone left that you haven't managed to convince I'm insane."

A teasing glint shone in his eye. "Well, if you want, I can call down the butler and-"

"Oh, Jesus Christ," Frankie uttered, rolling her eyes at the mere concept. She trailed beside him as he led her down the hall, eyeing the furnishing with a constant air of distaste. "Why do they need so many lamps?"

Rosie grinned, pausing to wait for her at the foot of the stairs as she stopped to examine a huge, ornamental clock, her expression distorted in judgment. "You've never been in one of these big houses, have you?"

Taking off her uniform cap, she wagged it at him scoldingly. "My entire house has four windows - I think they have more in the fucking toilets here."

"Wow, you're like a total reverse snob."

He had begun to climb the staircase, footsteps muffled by the runner as Frankie made to follow, taking the steps two at a time as she swiftly caught up. The door to her room was directly opposite his, and Rosie couldn't help but wonder if it had been a coincidence as he propped it open with his foot, unloading her bags onto the carpet. The walls were painted a pale yellow, French windows opening out onto a narrow balcony, watercolour landscape paintings and antique furniture filling the space. Frankie felt predisposed to hate it, but couldn't quite bring herself to say a harsh word.

"I'll leave you to it," He nodded, beginning to back out through the doorway.

"Thanks. Oh, wait," She called, halting him in his tracks. "Is there a phone somewhere?"

"Downstairs, I think."

Once she was alone, the door closing behind her with a gentle click, Frankie shrugged off her uniform jacket, tossing it over the back of a nearby chair before she fell back against the bed, the springs creaking beneath her weight. It was a far cry from the beds at Thorpe Abbotts, and by god was that a good thing. If it hadn't been the middle of the day, she probably would have gone to sleep right there and then, burrowing beneath the soft duvet, enveloping herself in the warmth. Her father had never been able to afford holidays or hotels, and she was quite certain she'd never stepped foot anywhere as nice as this. And to think they were simply giving her the week? She couldn't help but grin.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

A few hours had passed since Rosie had left Frankie in her room, and he was emerging from Doctor Huston's office, a disgruntled frown painting his features as he fiddled with the cuffs of his shirt. He was glad Frankie was here - glad the Colonel had listened to him, glad she might finally get a full night's sleep - but he wanted out. Almost desperately so. If the guilt wasn't tugging at him he might have loved to spend this time out here with her, but he couldn't tear his mind away from the mission at hand, from the pilots he'd left behind.

Muffled speaking caught his ear as he passed through the halls, tearing him from his thoughts as he recognised the voice. Rosie peered around the corner and spied Frankie by the phone, holding the receiver to her ear. The wire was stretched across the width of the corridor as she stood in front of one of the many bust statues, examining its features as she chatted away with whoever was on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, put her on... Hello m'love! How's things?... Yeah? Oh good," Rosie was leaning against the wall, and she suddenly spotted him lurking, waving to him and pulling a face to match the disgruntled expression of the statue beside her. He chuckled as she continued to speak. "Yeah? Well, I hope you're givin' him hell for me until I can come home... Ooh, yeah, put Jill on... Hiya!"

He couldn't quite tell who it was she was talking to, but after a while, she gestured for him to come over. Brow furrowed in confusion, Rosie approached, shrugging as if to ask what she was doing.

"Tell you what, I've got someone here who'd like to say hi," His face paled at this, and he began to shake his head. Frankie only nodded. "Yeah, that's right, he's one of my pilot friends," She grinned at whatever the other person had said, holding the receiver up to him. "Say hello!"

"Uh, hi?" Rosie spoke uncertainly, but the tiny voices on the other end of the line returning the greeting made him smile. Whoever these children were, they were very excited to hear from him.

Frankie took the receiver back, pressing it to her ear. "Alright, well, I've gotta run, but ask your uncle to call me when you get home from school tomorrow, yeah?... Alright. Love you. Bye!"

She was grinning as the call ended, hanging up the phone as he shot her a questioning glance. "They're my cousins. They've been living with my dad since the Blitz killed their mum."

Rosie frowned. "I'm sorry."

"S'alright, it was a few years ago now. But they're really good kids, I'm glad we got to take them in... You been with the doctor?"

"Begging him to let me leave, mostly," He nodded.

"They want me to see a grief counsellor or something, but there's no way in hell I'm doing that."

"Why not?"

"Because..." She shrugged. "I think shrinks need to mind their business."

"I'm not sure that's the best attitude to have about this."

"Like yours is any better - I heard you when I was waiting for the phone, you don't want to be here."

Rosie had nothing to say to that. She was right, he just wished she didn't know it. He sighed. "... You wanna go outside?"

"Yes."

It was as nice a day as one could find this time of year, the afternoon sun beating down on them as they strolled the gardens, gravel crunching beneath their feet with each step along the path. The grounds of Coombe House were huge - stables, tennis courts, croquet grounds, and the river, all connected by mazes of paths and neatly trimmed hedges. Neither of them had any real interest in the activities on offer, electing instead to simply wander aimlessly.

"So..." Frankie began. She was wearing what appeared to be a man's dress shirt - a rather large man, judging by the way it billowed out around her, the tails flapping in the breeze. "What did you do before this?"

"Oh, I was a lawyer."

She almost gasped at this, and Rosie couldn't help but grin at how clearly impressed she was. "Seriously? So you went to university?"

He began to chuckle. "Well, yeah, I went to law school, that's pretty much the requirement."

He could see her pondering this for a moment before her gaze snapped back to him. "Are you rich?" She almost whispered the question, as if the mere suggestion were scandalous.

"What?" Rosie scoffed. "No?"

"But you went to university."

"... Yes? Didn't you have to go to school to learn what you do?"

Frankie practically guffawed at this, a squawk escaping her throat that sounded so ridiculous he laughed himself. "Jesus, no. I dropped out of school when I was fourteen."

"Fourteen?"

"Yeah, that's the cut-off. I'm pretty much self-taught - y'know, like a genius," She wiggled her eyebrows mockingly. "Not just a pretty face."

Rosie smiled. It was easy to smile with Frankie - easy to forget the tragedy that had brought them both here. There was always something about her, something magnetic, that he was sure she could say anything at all and he would still smile. Perhaps it was worth sticking around for a while.

They took dinner in the main hall of the house, which had been laid out like a restaurant, the floor dotted with tables of various shapes and sizes, all covered with white tablecloths. Frankie stirred her soup with her spoon, around and around, scarcely ever eating any. But everyone noticed the whiskey she poured into her coffee. Pappy shot Rosie a glance, and he subtly shook his head, urging his co-pilot not to say anything. The Riveters seemed to have developed an unspoken understanding that she was his jurisdiction - if anything happened to Frankie, it was Rosie's business, not theirs. They all knew each other well by now - had all chatted on the hardstand and drank together in the pub - but it would've taken a blind man to be ignorant to the fact that what she and Rosie had was different.

"So... Frankie," Bailey spoke up, earning a few nervous glances from the rest of the crew. "How'd you find your first day?"

She nodded, buttering a bread roll and finally taking a bite. As she spoke, she lifted a hand to cover her mouth full of food. "It's nice, yeah. Although, I think big houses like this always smell like old people."

Pappy clicked his fingers as if she'd said something profound. "That's what that smell is!" Frankie chuckled, taking another sip of her alcohol-laced coffee.

Conversation was small, stilted. No one had it in them to talk about the last mission, but it was near impossible to recall any missions prior to that without having to mention Egan, a topic the Riveters had been warned to avoid like the plague. No one quite knew how Frankie would respond, and they preferred not to find out over dinner. But she wasn't a fool - she could tell they were dancing around her, leaving gaps in their stories for the sake of preserving her feelings. And if there was one thing Frankie didn't like, it was to be coddled.

"Right," She huffed, chair scraping against the polished floor as she stood up. The men's gazes all turned to her, half of them almost getting up on instinct, their mothers' lessons on manners ingrained into them. "I'm off. I'll see you gents tomorrow."

They muttered a scattered chorus of goodbyes and goodnight as she turned to leave the hall, taking her coffee with her. Rosie watched her go, his gaze tracking her across the room until the moment she passed through the doorway, at which point he practically leapt to his feet. "One sec," He uttered, dodging the other tables as he hurriedly made his way to the door.

Frankie was already halfway down the hall when he left, glancing up at the artwork she passed as she sipped away at her drink. "Frankie?" His voice echoed against the wood panelling, and she turned to look back. "You sure you're ok?"

She took a deep breath, nostrils flaring. "Look. Talk about what happened, or don't, I really don't care. But I'm not a child, and I don't need you all walking on eggshells around me, ok?"

"I..." He sighed. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

Frankie nodded. "G'night, Rosie."

"Goodnight."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Rosie couldn't sleep. Again. He couldn't quite pin down what it was that was keeping him awake - the Münster mission, his lingering desperation to get back to Thorpe Abbotts, or the guilt that had been eating away at him since Frankie had ditched at dinner. Nevertheless, the amalgamation of all three kept his mind restless, unable to calm itself enough to give him a moment of peaceful rest. Before he knew it, he was up, wrapping his dressing gown around himself, slippers muffling the sound of footfall as he began to pace the corridors.

There was no real direction to his wandering, in an almost trance-like state as his thoughts raced to make sense of things. Why was he here? Of all people, why him? It was a situation that couldn't be rationalised, but he tried nonetheless, the question almost torturous as he rolled it over in his mind. Luck wasn't a force he found comfortable - there was no solace in its painful lack of answers.

Music was coming from the end of the hall. It tore him from his thoughts, the muffled sound of jazz accompanied by a faint humming, his footsteps trailing after the sound before he had time to stop them. At first, the library appeared empty - no evidence it was inhabited save for the lamps that had been left on and the record that was slowly spinning away on its player. Rosie's brow furrowed, but then he realised the humming sound was coming from behind the couch.

Frankie was sat cross-legged on the floor, posted in the gap between the couch and the record player, obscured from view to anyone entering. She wore her baggy, blue pyjamas, hair pinned up in rollers around her scalp, a port glass filled with what appeared to be whiskey held in one hand as she sifted through the house's music collection with the other, building a hefty stack of records at her feet with the ones she had decided were of value.

"What are you doing?"

She didn't even look up, entirely unphased by his arrival. They had grown used to each other's presence so quickly that it seemed just as natural to be together as it did apart. "Looking. If I've gotta stay here all week they'd better have some good music."

Rosie looked down at the half empty glass in her hand, frowning. On the table behind her sat two others, stains left by her faded lipstick indicating she had already drained them of their contents.

"Are you drunk?"

Frankie hummed. "About two-thirds of the way there."

"Alright," He huffed, crouching down to tug the drink from her grip as she let out a gasp in protest. Rosie paused for a moment before upturning the amber liquid and pouring it down his own throat, coughing slightly at its sting. "Jesus, that's pretty strong stuff."

She seemed to be sulking, continuing to flick through the stack of singles in stubborn silence, as if electing to ignore his presence. Sighing, Rosie grunted slightly as he manoeuvred his way to sit down beside herm back resting against the arm of the couch as he peered at the pile she had gathered. "Hey, these are pretty good."

Frankie hummed, not saying a word as she continued to browse. He was beginning to think she had seen all of the records already, and was pretending to go over them again to avoid having to talk to him. She was craning forward to look, and he dared to raise a hand to her back, thumb skimming across her spine. Turning her head to look back at him, her big brown eyes reflecting the orange glow of the lamps, the corner of his mouth turned upwards in a flickering smile.

It felt stupid to ask if she was alright for the hundredth time. "How're you feeling?"

She tilted her head to the side, sitting back against the couch next to him. "I don't want you to make yourself so busy trying to look after me that you don't look after yourself."

Her response caught him off guard, and he blinked a few times as he tried to think of what to say to it. Had that been what he was doing? He supposed it must be. He'd spent maybe a couple of hours thinking of himself since he arrived, and those hours had been spent solely before Frankie's arrival and after he thought she'd gone to bed. Without realising, he'd accidentally made himself a caretaker for someone who never asked to be taken care of.

"How are you feeling?" She pressed.

Rosie heaved in a deep breath, holding it in his lungs for a moment before releasing the air in a sigh. "Being here feels... wrong," He confessed. "This- this is not how we're supposed to deal with what's happening - we don't play tennis and go riding with the hounds - I don't even know what that is, but-"

"Foxhunting?"

"Foxhunting," He nodded. "We're not supposed to sit around and talk and cry - we're supposed to keep going. Y'know - I'm here because I need to stand up to what's wrong and I can't do that when I'm sitting here," Rosie paused, running a hand over his face as he sighed again. Frankie's hand gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"I got in a rhythm. You go up, you come down, you do it again the next day, over and over. You keep the streak going because then you're in it - you're focused and you're sharp. But now it's broken."

Perhaps the broken streak had been the thing that bothered him most, the thing that stole his sleep more than anything else. But in truth, the more he thought it over, the rhythm had been broken for a long time. The rhythm had been broken since the day he met Frankie - since the moment he saw her smile and realised there was something he wanted to come back to. Her mere existence had planted that seed of fear in him, and suddenly he was covering for more than himself. For a moment he let his words trail away, simply staring at the way the light caught itself on her eyelashes.

Frankie nodded slowly, considering what he had said, trying to formulate something to say. But when she turned to glance back at him, all the words caught in her throat. No one had ever looked at her the way he did now, with such softness in his eyes that she almost felt suffocated by it, weighed down by whatever image of her Rosie must have contained in his mind. Frankie didn't know how to accept that kind of adoration - didn't know what to do with it, how to hold it in her hands without crushing it. It didn't even matter that she felt it too.

She leant into him, trying to rest her head against his shoulder without her curlers getting in the way. Rosie sucked in a breath, wrapping his arms around her, feeling the warmth of her through the thin layer of cotton that separated his palms from bare skin. There wasn't anything either of them could say to soothe each other's pains, but it was good enough to share the weight. She could hear his heartbeat, thumping slightly faster than it should've.

He fell asleep before the record ended. When he woke up, it had been taken off the player and put carefully away, morning sunlight flowing through the curtain and streaking across the carpet next to him. Frankie was gone, but there was a blanket strewn across his lap that hadn't been there the night before.

On the table beside him, a still-hot cup of coffee was giving off steam.

[cherry-holmes]

GLIMPSE OF A LIFE WITH JAVIER PEÑA

Chapter 14

MAIN MASTERLIST

Summary: Just when you think everything was over and you can live in peace with your Javi, your perfect love story seems to crumble at your feet.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Previous chapter

Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: ANGST AND LOTS OF CRYING😭 Mentions of physical damage. Mentions of kidnapping.

A/N: I’m sorry for this chapter, I hope you don’t hate me😭 but stay tuned for next chapters☝️🤓

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You just wanted to go home, but you knew you couldn't. It wasn't safe anymore. Now you had to hide in a new apartment, guarded by police officers for only God knew how long. It made you feel more comfortable, though, but it felt awkward.

You had spent hours surrounded by agents, doctors, and many other people doing their job to help you out of that horrible situation you had been in. They asked you a lot of questions: What did they tell you? Did you know about Javi and Los Pepes? What was your relationship with Diego Ibarra? What did you see or hear about anything they could use for their investigations? The questions from the doctors were the most uncomfortable: Did they abuse you? The answer was no, fortunately, but they insisted many times as if you were hiding it.

You didn't stop asking for Javi almost every fifteen minutes. The last time you saw him was when he came back from that house and hold you between his arms and let your cried out loud on his shoulder. Then, he said he needed to go to the base and you needed to get proper medical attention. He promised he would be with you as soon as possible, and reclutantly left your side. It had been twelve hours since then.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You knew those bruises would stay for a while. They were everywhere: on your cheeks, your arms, the back of your neck, your torso, and your legs.

Looking at your reflection in the small mirror hanging on the bathroom wall, your eyes watered as flashes of what had happened crossed your mind. It had been only hours since you were rescued. You were still sensitive and scared. Uncertainty flooded as the grayest of clouds above your head. However, the thought of Javi, his protection, and company made you feel that there was hope. You were sure that both of you could make it out of this mess together. You loved him and you knew he loved you too.

As if your thoughts had summoned him, Javi's voice carried through the apartment, calling your name. You wrapped your semi-naked body with a towel before you told him you were in the room.

Javi entered the room, his eyes filled with concern as they met yours. His gaze softened as he saw you, vulnerable and marked by the ordeal.

You ran into his arms, wrapping yours around his torso, pressing your cheek against his beating heart.

"It's okay, baby, I'm here," he held you tightly, his voice a soothing balm in the midst of chaos. "I'm sorry I left you alone for so long, but I had things to fix at the base," he added, his hands brushing your hair still wet from the shower.

"Now you're here, amor, that's all that matters," you promised. Then, as if a rock had fallen on your stomach, you remembered Javi had been shot. You stepped back, your hands tracing his sides. "Javi, you've been shot... what happened?"

He took your hands between his, pressing his lips softly on your knuckles. Then he looked into your eyes.

"Get dressed, baby, we have to talk." Although his eyes tried to stay warm for you, there was something in his tone you didn't like.

He waited for you on the lone sofa in the living room, and after you changed into one of his shirts and your pajama pants, you joined him.

"Listen," he said, a hint of nervousness in his voice you couldn't help but notice. He was trying to find the right words, but he was struggling. You reached out for his broad, calloused hand to help him relax at least a little.

"You can tell me anything," you promised. "I don't care what you had with Los Pepes or what you did to get Diego out of our lives. I'm with you, Javi, no matter what."

Javier exhaled deeply, his gaze fixed on yours, appreciating the unwavering support reflected in your eyes.

"It's much more complicated than that, and I don't want you to be involved," he said, his voice steady but laced with tension.

You could see the anxiety in his eyes, causing your stomach to knot with anticipation of the worst. Something in his gaze conveyed the seriousness of the situation. It felt as if he was about to reveal he had a target on his back and someone had already pulled the trigger.

Javier took a moment, his eyes scanning the room as if searching for the right words, a sense of dread creeping over you.

Finally, he spoke, his voice measured but filled with urgency. "You remember Los Pepes, right?"

You nodded, your heart sinking at the mention of the ruthless group.

"I've been working with them for almost a year now, exchanging information, infiltrate their ranks," he explained.

The revelation hit you like a ton of bricks. Your mind raced, trying to comprehend the implications of Javier's involvement with such a notorious group.

"I didn't want to tell you or Steve, to involve you in all this," Javier continued, his voice strained with guilt. "But now that Messina knows, things have become even more complicated."

A wave of fear washed over you as you realized the magnitude of the situation.

Javier added, "I convinced Messina not to report my situation to the Embassy or the DEA. At least not for now. I'm gonna try to fix this, enough so I can avoid as much retaliation as possible. I'm preparing something."

"What is it?" You wanted to know. You knew that whatever he was planning to do would work.

Javier's eyes bore into yours, his expression a mixture of determination and concern. "I'll convince Judy Moncada to testify against the Cali Cartel in exchange for protection in the U.S.," he explained. "It's risky, and I can't guarantee what will happen, but that's my best card."

Your mind whirled with fear as you realized the dangers involved in infiltrating such a ruthless organization.

"I won't let you do this alone," you declared, your voice trembling with emotion. "We're in this together, Javi. Whatever happens, we face it together."

You expected him to relax, to soften his gaze and thank you for being supportive, but it didn't happen that way. On the contrary, he looked like he couldn't even look at you, and he was struggling to say the next.

"There's something else you must know," he began, his voice heavy with reluctance.

Your heart sank as you braced yourself for whatever revelation was to come.

"Messina is sending you back to Mexico with your family," he said, the words landing heavily in the silence of the room. "After you were kidnapped, it was decided that the DEA won't risk your life anymore."

Javier's words hung heavy in the air, the weight of their meaning pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket. The thought of leaving everything behind, of being separated from Javier and the relationship you had built together, filled you with an overwhelming sense of loss and despair.

"What?" It was all you could muster for a moment, as you stared at him with disappointment and confusion. A wave of heat ran through your body, your eyes burning with tears. "No... Javi, I won't leave you... Please, you have to talk to Messina, she can't..."

"The decision is made, I don't and I won't appeal to the contrary," he interrupted you, the firmness in his voice resolute. "You're leaving first thing tomorrow morning."

Javier's agreement with the decision felt like a betrayal, a sacrifice made for the greater good but at the cost of your relationship and your consent. Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to come to terms with the harsh reality of the situation. You knew deep down that Javier was right, that it was the safest option for you. But accepting it felt like surrendering to defeat, admitting that your life would never be the same again.

"You can't be fuckin' serious," you uttered, your voice trembling with disbelief and a hint of defiance.

Javier remained steadfast, his expression a mix of empathy and resolve as he absorbed your reaction. He reached out, his hand hovering uncertainly before gently cupping your cheek, his touch a fleeting reassurance in the midst of uncertainty.

"I wish there was another way, amor," he murmured, his voice tinged with regret. "But for now, this is what's best for you, for us."

"How?" You dared, but he didn't answer. "I won't leave, Javier, not without you," you insisted.

"Please, don't make this harder than it already is," he said. His voice remained tender, but you felt a burning pang of betrayal and disbelief in your chest, prompting you to move out of his reach. You could see the pain in his eyes at your rejection, but you were too blinded by hurt to care.

"I don't care if Messina fires me or locks me in here for the rest of my life, I'm not leaving you," you said firmly. Javier could see the determination in you, and he knew you wouldn't give up easily.

"You can't stay even if I change my mind, which I won't. The Colombian Embassy is canceling your visa tomorrow." Your heart ached at his words as the reality of your impending departure settled in.

"I can't believe you're getting rid of me that easily, Javier," you lamented.

"No, don't say that," he intervened, his voice filled with sorrow. "I'm not trying to get rid of you," he continued, his voice soft but resolute. "I'm trying to keep you safe. I can't bear the thought of anything else happening to you."

"But I don't want to leave you," you confessed, tears welling up in your eyes. The prospect of being separated from Javier filled you with an overwhelming sense of loss and loneliness.

Javier's expression softened, his gaze filled with love and understanding. "I don't want you to go either," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I can't risk your safety anymore."

"I'm not your responsibility. Anything that happened was your fault," you said, you said, your voice quivering with sobs.

"I'm not your responsibility either, bonita," his fingers wiped your tears, holding your head with his broad and caring hands. Your heart ached at the thought that it might be the last time you'd feel his protective touch, his hands over you taking care of you as only he could.

As his words sank in, you realized the depth of his sacrifice, the pain etched into his features mirroring your own. Despite the heartache and uncertainty, you knew that Javier's decision was driven by love, a selfless act to protect the person he cherished most in the world.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Neither of you slept that night. Javier and you lay on the unfamiliar bed, your head on his chest, his arms around you holding you tight.

For moments, you cried, and he could feel your tears falling on his skin like acid. He felt guilty for the times he put your life in danger and for hurting you with his stubbornness and the stupid things he sometimes said. And now, for leaving you.

He was afraid. His heart and stomach felt like they could turn over at the mere thought of his plan not working. If he doesn't make a deal with Judy Moncada or if the American government doesn't accept his redemption, he could go to jail for treason and conspiracy with the enemy.

He didn't care of loosing his job, but he feared loosing you forever. It had to work, and then he had to catch Escobar. Once he finish his duty, he planned to made you his and never let you go again.

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"I'll come back for you," he vowed, his voice trembling with emotion. "I promise."

You couldn't contain your broken sobs, your nails clenching his shirt. "I'm gonna miss you, mi amor," you promised. Your hands cupped his head, your thumbs brushing his mustache, his lips, your eyes memorizing his features and the warm brown of his gaze. He was so handsome, so right, so familiar. "Please take care of yourself, Javi," you begged, because you knew he wouldn't. "Eat well, sleep well, and protect yourself. I'll be waiting for you."

"Don't worry about me, bonita," he whispered, planting a kiss on your lips.

Your flight was announced once more, and reluctantly, you stepped back. You found Steve behind Javi, looking sad too, as he had to let his own wife go as well. Connie had left thirty minutes ago with Olivia, for their safety.

"Take care of you both," you said to him.

With a heavy heart, you turned away from Javier, trying to imprint every detail of his face in your memory. The airport terminal seemed to blur as tears clouded your vision. Steve placed a comforting hand on Javier's shoulder, silently offering his support.

As you walked towards the departure gate, you couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness gnawing at your heart. Every step away from Javier felt like a step into the unknown, leaving behind the life you had built together. The flight attendants ushered you onto the plane, but your mind remained anchored to Javier, to the home you were leaving behind, to the uncertain future that lay ahead for your relationship.

As the plane ascended into the sky, you gazed out of the window, watching the city lights fade into the distance.

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TWO WEEKS LATER

Returning home felt strange, nothing like you imagined it would be. You called up your sister Silvia from the airport after landing in Monterrey. She was surprised, having no clue you were on your way back. You didn't have the chance to let anyone know—it all happened too fast, and it hurt too much.

Staying at Silvia's place for a couple of days, you spilled everything to her and your other sister Sara. The kidnapping, leaving Javier behind, and how worried sick you were about him. They cried with your story, they couldn't believe their little sister went through all that.

You kept it all from abuelo because you didn't want to stress him out. When you finally saw him, once your bruises disappeared and you made up a story about your suddenly return, you put on a brave face, hiding the turmoil inside.

And your mom? Well, you didn't tell her a thing. You couldn't deal with her judgmental comments about you and Javier, a guy you well knew she never approved of anyway.

Every day felt like a struggle without Javier around. His absence was like a missing piece of your heart. You only managed to talk to him a few times, for a few fleeting minutes, during your first two weeks back home. You always ended up crying, and he always sounded stressed and off. But you held onto the hope of seeing him again, believing that love could conquer all...

Until it didn't.

You were playing with your nieces and one of your newborn nephews when your brother-in-law arrived home with the newspaper of the day. He looked worried as he asked your sister Silvia to speak with him. You didn't understand why yet, but something inside you had a sinking feeling that something bad was about to happen.

Your sister handed you the newspaper, and as you scanned the headlines, your heart sank like a stone. The Miami Herald had posted an interview with a narco leader, Judy Moncada, confessing Javier's relationship with Los Pepes.

The words blurred together as you read, and a sickening feeling settled in the pit of your stomach. It was all over. You knew that with this revelation, Javier's future hung in the balance, and the threat of prison loomed large over him.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized the gravity of the situation. The life you had known, the love you had shared, everything was crumbling around you. You felt a wave of helplessness wash over you, unable to protect Javier from the consequences of his actions.

Your mind raced with a thousand thoughts, but one thing was clear: you had to find a way to help him, to support him through this nightmare. But how? The uncertainty gnawed at your insides, leaving you feeling powerless and lost.

You immediately dialed his number, but he didn't answer. So, you called Connie. She had also seen the news and told you Steve had called her to inform her that Javier had been sent to Washington. You asked her for a number, and a couple of hours later, she called back to give you the number Steve had provided.

"Peña," he answered the second time you tried to call. His tone was clear, exasperation and fatigue weighing heavily on his shoulders. He sounded curt, as if he had never spoken to you before. But he didn't know it was you.

You stayed silent for a moment, unsure how to begin. You took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. "Javier, it's me," you finally said, your voice trembling with emotion. "I just saw the news... I can't believe what they're saying about you."

There was a brief pause on the other end of the line, as if Javier was processing your words. When he spoke again, his voice softened slightly. "I'm sorry you had to find out like this," he said, his tone heavy with regret. "But I can't explain everything right now."

Your heart sank at his words. "Javi, please," you pleaded, the desperation evident in your voice. "Tell me what's going on, what can I do for you? I want to help you."

There was another pause, longer this time. You could almost hear the internal struggle in his silence. Finally, he spoke, his voice weary and resigned. "I appreciate your offer, but there's nothing you can do for me," he said.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to his words. You wanted to argue, to fight for him, but you knew deep down that he was right. You were powerless to help him from afar.

"Javi..." you started, but your voice trailed off, choked with emotion. "Connie told me you are in Washington. I can flight tomorrow, I want to see you..."

"That won't be necessary," he intervened.

"Please, I don't want you to be alone. We're going to figure this out. Together," you insisted, desperation started to overwhelm you.

"Listen, I'm sorry, but I don't think its a good idea," he replied dryly, punching you like a ton of bricks.

"What are you talking about?"

"I couldn't fix it," he said, his voice trailing off. The weight of his admission hung heavy in the air, leaving you reeling with shock and disbelief.

"What do you mean, you couldn't fix it?" you pressed, your voice trembling with a mixture of frustration and fear. "Javi, you can't give up like this. We can find a way through this together."

"I've made mistakes, and now I have to face the consequences," he admitted, his tone laced with regret. "But I don't want you to be dragged down with me."

Your heart ached at his words, the reality of the situation crashing down on you like a tidal wave. You wanted to reach through the phone, to hold him close and tell him that you would stand by his side no matter what. But his resolve was unwavering, his decision final.

"Javi, please," you pleaded, tears streaming down your cheeks. "Don't shut me out. Let me be there for you."

"I can't ask you to do that," he said, his voice filled with anguish. "It's not fair to you. You deserve better than this."

"But you're worth it," you insisted, your voice breaking with emotion. "You're worth every moment, every risk, every sacrifice. I love you, Javi, and I'm not giving up on us."

There was a long, agonizing silence as Javier grappled with your words, his own emotions in turmoil. Finally, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "I love you too," he admitted, his voice thick with emotion. "But I'm going to jail for my mistakes. It's over, and I'm sorry."

"I can wait for you, Javi," you confessed, because it was true. You could wait for him an eternity if was necessary.

He let out a shaky breath, overwhelming for your fidelity and love he feel he didn't deserve. You were so pure and sweet and perfect for a guy like him. "I can't let you throw your life away for me. You're young and very beautiful, I can't tie you to a man who is not free. It's selfish," as he spoke, your heart heavy with sorrow and anguish.

"Don't say that, Javier... please, don't do this to me, to us," you begged, desperately trying to make him understand, but the decision was made.

"Just... take care of yourself, okay? That's all I ask."

And with that, he hung up, leaving you alone with your thoughts and a sense of helplessness that weighed heavily on your heart.

The line went silent, the weight of his words hanging in the air like a heavy shroud. You knew that Javier was trying to protect you, to shield you from the fallout of his actions. But you also you knew that this was only the beginning of a long and difficult journey.

NEXT CHAPTER

[leafyaa]

Chapter 14

Weeks passed by with no particular strange incidents. You felt way more relaxed after reading that no major incidents struck your village or the nation. Though one thing did give you restless minds: Hikari. Her birthday was coming up and you didn't know what to do for her. I mean what could you do really? 

With Kunikuzushi posing as a distraction you didn't have much time to think about Hikari as much as you wanted to because Kunikuzushi tried to cheer you up constantly, noticing your distant looks when he came by the café you worked at. 

The two of you ended up doing some picnics with Sara and Heizou accompanying you. Sara was there to just be with you while Heizou wanted to 'balance out' the group by joining as well. Then because you didn't want Maple to feel left out you also brought her with you. She enjoyed jumping around and trying to catch butterflies.

Then there were some alone walks between Kunikuzushi and you but it always became awkward after you were lost in your thoughts while walking with him. 

Slowly but surely Kunikuzushi started entering in your daily routine again  by driving you to work, picking you up from work and sometimes cooking for you. It felt like he was taking care of you but maybe you were getting delusional thinking he still loved you. The way he treated you sometimes gave you butterflies in your stomach, but you just brushed it off, thinking it was just a desperate feeling of wanting someone to take care of you.

Sometimes he would tell you he had to go somewhere for a while and you didn't mind. But when he could take care of you you would feel so much more at ease as most of your daily worries slowly disappeared. For example: waking up early to make sure you wouldn't miss the only bus that made sure you were on time for work, forgetting to get groceries or ending up skipping dinner because you would be too tired to cook. 

Working yourself tirelessly was your way of going through the days and weeks. If you focused enough you wouldn't suddenly break down out of nowhere. You knew her birthday was coming up soon and you felt so stupid about not thinking about her more. You felt exhausted knowing each day was making it less likely for her to be found back, exhausted knowing that you might have been waiting for nothing.

There were never any updates on her case from the police after that unfortunate day. Asking Heizou or Sara for information would be useless because they had no access to those files and you wouldn't want to accidentally fire them as the Tenryou police force already disliked you very much. 

Sure Kokomi had taken on the case which irritated the local police even more and Gorou made sure to tell you if there were updates but alas, there were still none till this day. 

Today was the day before Hikari's birthday and you had taken off work for the next few days, wanting to spend time alone. Thoma assured you didn't have to worry about the cafe as you were basically the second manager there and knew how everything worked. 

Sara and Heizou knew not to disturb you in your alone time and made sure to only send minimal messages to you. 

But one person made today his mission to take you out today. And it was none other than Kunikuzushi. After all, you never told him about Hikari. He surely wouldn't care about her if he left you at your worst state plus you were almost certain his opinion about kids never changed after the last incident. 

"Can't we just go somewhere next week?" Your muffled voice spoke while buried in a pillow.  

"Come on, the weather is good tomorrow!" Kunikuzushi said with much excitement. He happened to call you on your day off to go out but you felt drained. 

"But so is next week.." 

"You're always saying next week and then you forget about it.." Ah yes that was right, because you overworked yourself and mostly forgot things. Things like appointments you had to write on a calendar hanging in your living room because you would forget that as well as sending all your appointments to Sara so she could remind you. You didn't really use the calendar on your phone because you didn't like the way it looked so a paper calendar was your solution. 

"Meow~" Your cat meowed, climbed onto your bed and nuzzled her head into your hair. 

"Even your cat agrees." Kunikuzushi said, making you groan in annoyance. 

"Maple is a cat, how could she possibly understand us.. Ugh I'm tired.. I'm hanging up.." You said with a sigh, moving your hand towards the button. 

"Wait but tomorrow-" 

"We'll see tomorrow."

And you hung up before he could say anything else. 

You sighed as you threw your phone on your bed and got out of your bedroom. 

As you walked from your room to Hikari's room you noticed the faint crayon stripes and other small drawings Hikari did, with much scolding from you. 

Originally you were going to permanently remove it by painting over them, but you felt that it was like removing Hikari out of the house so you decided to keep it, even though it might have made her think she was allowed to draw on the walls.

You grabbed the key from your pocket and unlocked the door, entering it quietly. Maple, who had gotten out of bed to follow you, also walked behind you curiously. 

You picked him up and brought her to your eye view, showing her Hikari's room. 

She meowed a bit before jumping out of your arms to Hikari's neatly made up bed. Even for a cat, she did look sad as if she could sense your emotions. She just sat still and looked at you. 

You closed your eyes and breathed, trying to remember all the good times with your daughter again. 

"I miss you Hikari, please give me a sign you're still out there." You spoke as a tear slipped down your face. 

“You will.” A voice responded unbeknownst to you.

⇠ previous ⭒ masterlist ⭒ next ⇢

Notes:

kinda late with this one but yeah

Summary:

You've dated Scaramouche in your high school and college years but just as you wanted to announce your pregnancy to him he broke up with you without any reason. He left you to be a single mom for 7 years. But now that your daughter has been missing and abducted for a year and you've not been doing well and out of a sudden he showed up into your life again trying to apologize for his past mistakes..?

Taglist:

@swivy123 @kichiyosh1 @wwwrizchan @k1t0 @killumeow @pinkdreamerbailifflawyer-blog @samarill @xiaotopia @aqualesha @eattingshits @omoriaddict @mave-in @sketcheeee @xiaossocksniffer @elernity @ohmyfinggod @luvkvni @kunikissr @meadowofdarts @kaoriie @scaramochies @ekriis @rizakari @xxrexx @lovingveliona @magica-ren @lilybythevalley @theflatdoorkicker @lazy-sanns @reixtsu @fullw0rld @kunikuzushis-darling @childesgingerhair @kochothehoe @mercy-not-merci @ash1

[bimboamyrose]

Unfamiliar - Ch. 15: Invitations

Art: @mmm-asbestos​ ☆ First 2 chapters ☆ Prev. (Ch. 14)  ☆ AO3

It was a quick run to the future site of Magic City at the edge of town; Amy was disappointed she couldn’t convince Sonic to slow down and chat for a bit. They’d zoomed off from her house and zipped up and around the hills and through town in no time. But there was always after the mission- maybe he’d be more receptive to taking a break then, Amy mused. She could sense that he was still on edge for now.

Letting Amy down from his grasp, Sonic looked into the construction site. Enormous foundations had been laid over several acres since the last time he’d visited. But now, instead of a bustling job site he and Amy found themselves in a comparatively calm environment. No heavy machinery in operation or foreman barking commands. Just dusty concrete floors and towering piles of materials- mostly sheet-metal- dotted with a few temporary trailers probably housing small offices and equipment. The pair looked at one another in confusion, unsure what to make of the unexpected silence.

Amy tiptoed over the dusty ground in a vain effort to prevent her shoes from being covered in construction debris. “Are they on a lunch break or something?” she asked as the pair approached a large trailer. 

“Maybe…” Sonic flung himself ahead to the trailer, leaving a dusty cloud in his trail.

He pressed his face to one of its windows. The structure served as a break room for the workers on site, but the tables and chairs inside sat empty. “If they were, they’d be here, but the place is abandoned!” Sonic turned back to a wheezing Amy, who was waving an irate hand through the dust cloud in front of her face. “Oops- sorry,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“It’s fine,” she responded, holding back a sneeze. Now’s not the time to complain, she told herself. Things had to go as smoothly as possible.

The two walked around a while in silence. The dusty sound crunched beneath their steps. It was desolate.

As the silence grew more awkward, Amy rattled her brain for conversation topics. What could she bring up to convince Sonic to stay alone with her after they were finished here? She was about to blurt out the first thing she could think of.

That’s when a low rumbling cut through. Amy raised a brow at Sonic.

“Did you skip breakfast?”

He looked away in embarrassment. “Yeah… heh. Sorry.”

She shook her head smugly. “I’ve told you not to do that.”

“You know I don’t like to eat first thing in the morning,” he groaned. His stomach followed again.

Amy laughed. “So you woke up minutes before picking me up, huh?”

“So I might’ve been up late..” Sonic smiled, mildly embarrassed. “But I found that picture while I was cleaning up, so it was worth it!”

Her laughter slowed to an amused giggle. “Yeah, it’s probably the only picture we all have together when we were kids.”

“We’re busy people,” he shrugged . “Can’t exactly sit down for cake when we’re saving the planet.” His smile only widened at the thought, as if reminiscing about past adventures.

“Well, maybe this year we’ll have a chance. Oh! We should totally recreate that photo! Wouldn’t that be cute?” she beamed.

As little as he enjoyed having his photo taken, Sonic did like the idea. But it wouldn’t stop him from teasing her about it. 

“We could… but I thought you’d want something more exciting for your party this year. You’re gonna be an adult! Can’t be acting childish anymore,” he joked.

“Oh, yeah, gonna be 18. I’m practically middle aged,” she ribbed back. “And you’ll be 21 this summer. What does that make you?”

“Ancient. One foot in the grave.”

They burst out laughing in unison. When their voices echoed back at them in the empty landscape, the pair both covered their mouths, doing their best to hold back their snickers. But watching your friend try not to laugh is one of the funniest things you could see. They both had to stop walking until they caught their breath.

Wiping a hysterical tear from her eye, Amy finally took a deep enough breath to recover. There probably wouldn’t be a better opportunity to ask.

She looked to him confidently. “Hey, let’s go to lunch after this.”

“Sure,” Sonic responded between breaths. “I’m starving. We’ll let Tails know-”

“Oh! Look!” she quickly changed the subject. “Uh… Are those people over there?”

Sonic looked toward the horizon. From there, it seemed like the flattened landscape went on forever. He squinted into the distance.

“Hey, you’re right!”

I am? Amy was just as surprised as he was to finally spot some people a couple hundred yards down the way. 

A pair of stern-looking men lolled around with clipboards, wearing hardhats but otherwise in business attire. They were being led around by a woman in coveralls- the only person for what seemed like miles that looked to be part of any kind of construction team. 

“Hey!” Sonic called out to them excitedly, “are you guys with the construction crew?” 

The strangers all turned back in their direction. Amy noticed the woman immediately bring her palm to her face in annoyance as the men looked on in confusion.

“Oh, hey, it’s you!” Sonic lit up. “Wait there!” His voice echoed through the sparse landscape as he got ready to run in their direction- but stopped himself as he remembered the dust cloud he’d kicked up. He turned back to Amy. “Hey- I talked to that lady last time I was here, I bet she’ll help us.” 

“Yeah... she seems to remember you.” Amy took notice of Sonic’s quick change of pace. She couldn’t keep a small smile from forming across her lips as he walked just barely ahead, slowing down with her in mind. Before she could overthink the gesture any further, Sonic reached back for her hand.

“Come on, don’t wanna keep her waiting,” he winked playfully.

As he ushered her along, the subtle smirk on Amy’s face spread into a lovestruck grin. There was a lot of good to be said about Sonic, but to say he could be brash was an understatement. They joked about growing up, but maybe this small, mindful act was a demonstration of his growing maturity after all.

The woman groaned an apology to the two men before stepping out of their earshot. 

Sonic approached with a wave and Amy in tow.  

“You’re back,” she said to him plainly. “And there’s two of you now.”

“Glad you remember- though I can’t say I’m surprised,” Sonic smirked confidently.

There was no sign of amusement in her expression. “I have very important people here today, so you need to leave. Now.”

“Aw, come on! We’re just looking for Eggman. Help us out!”

“That’s- ugh.” The woman let out an exasperated sigh. “Look, that’s not my department. Call his assistant or something.”

“Does Eggman have an assistant?” Amy whispered to Sonic. He offered a shrug before turning back to the lady.

“We’re sorta in a hurry. Just point us in his direction and we’ll get out of your hair,” he told the woman.

“No. You’re trespassing, we’re behind schedule, our investors are irate- just leave before I have to call security.” 

“Behind schedule?” Amy chimed in. “Didn’t you guys just break ground a few weeks ago? Why isn’t there anyone here if you’re behind?”

If the poor woman had any patience to begin with, it ran out then and there. “Well, most of the staff’s contracts were cut short like 3 days ago. Doctor Eggman said he’d take care of the rest of the building himself but apparently his ‘equipment’ isn’t in yet for some reason, so he has us stalling, and I’m here with two very upset investors who are ready to pull out of this project if we don’t get things moving, and somehow opening date is in a matter of weeks, and-”

Amy interrupted. “Oh, that’s what we’re here to talk to him about,” she bluffed.

The woman looked skeptical, but it was plain to see that stress was getting the better of her. “About… opening date?”

“About… why his equipment is missing. We took it. Hostage.” Amy’s eyes shot back at Sonic’s momentarily. He stood wide-eyed but let her continue.

A momentary, stunned silence followed. 

“Are you serious?”

“Yep,” Sonic cut in. “That’s what we do! Live to be a thorn in Egghead’s side; Mortal enemies and all.”

In her desperation, the woman turned back to see her clients studying their wrists impatiently. One of the men pointed to his watch irritably. She returned her attention to the nuisance at hand, lowering her voice. “I know you two have some ancient beef I don’t care about, but I’ve just been hired to do an honest job, ok? I’ll tell you where to find him- but you didn’t hear it from me.”

“Totally!” Amy responded, louder than she intended. “Our lips are sealed!”

“Quiet down! Ugh- I’m so fired…” 

She instructed Sonic and Amy on how to reach The Doctor in hushed tones and subtle gestures. He was evidently on sight in a freshly-built underground lab. The entrance was hidden but accessible via key-card. 

“So, any chance we could borrow your ID?” Sonic chuckled. 

The woman responded only with an eye roll before quickly going back to her work. 

“Thanks, anyway,” he called out to her with a wave. “Well, guess we’re on our own from there.” He turned to Amy with a grin. “Nice bluff!”

“Thanks,” she returned. “But, what do you think she meant by missing equipment?”

“Well, maybe…” Sonic trailed off without finishing. “Ah- who knows. Let’s get moving.”

The entrance wasn’t hard to find for those who knew where to look. A series of square steel support columns lined a freshly laid concrete slab, one of many around the acres-wide construction site. There was the faint shape of a doorway outlined on the otherwise smooth surface of the pillars, just where Sonic and Amy were told they’d find the entrance.

“I bet this is it,” Amy remarked, running her fingertips over the shallow mark on one of the column’s facets. “It’s… subtle.”

“Bit outta character for Eggman.” Sonic’s fist met his hip as he leaned back in observation. “We’d usually just break in, but…”

A flick of her wrist surrounded Amy’s hand in a sudden cloud of pink. “Well, it’s worked so far.” She brandished her hammer with a giggle. “Been a little bit since I got to use this.”

“After you, then.”

Amy curtseyed playfully before taking her stance. A moment later, her hammer made contact with the hard surface, denting it considerably to reveal the clear shape of a doorway. A screeching alarm rang out from the door upon contact. Ignoring it, Amy pulled back her hammer a second time, the door well off its hinges after another swing. The high-pitch whine grew louder, emitting from an alarm panel just beyond the destroyed entrance.

Sonic scratched at his ear with a grimace. “Gotta love an alarm. Let’s-”

A third bash of Amy’s hammer interrupted him. The heavy door smashed against the control panel and cut off the screeching alarm in an instant as the dented steel slab fell off the frame to the floor beyond the entrance. “Better?”

“You bet,” he snickered.  “Good work. Let’s get in there!” As he took a step forward, Sonic left a pat on Amy’s shoulder.

A sweet chill tickled Amy’s spine when he did. She couldn’t hold back a soft giggle as they stepped into the dark inside the structure.

Just beyond the entrance sat a short level, leading directly to a winding underground staircase, deep past the concrete foundation they were standing on a moment ago. The ceilings were fairly low, the top of the column no doubt built with sturdier materials to support the eventual building it would be housed in. Dim lights lined the walls, the only indication that there was anything beyond a few feet in front of them. Amy and Sonic moved forward cautiously. The eerie, quiet stairwell echoed with their steps and grew darker as they descended. It was a far cry from the audacious design they had come to expect from Dr. Eggman.

The pair were just a few steps down when they were greeted by a line of unfriendly security bots floating their way up the stairs in their direction. 

“Right on cue,” Sonic sneered.

He jumped into action instantly, making quick work of the first two robots in front of them as Amy smashed her way through a third. Sonic spun out a good way down the staircase, knocking around several more. Amy swung at each of the disoriented guards before they could regain their balance, finishing them off as she caught up. When she reached the next level, however, she stopped in her tracks behind Sonic’s outstretched arm.

Two much larger robots with hammers of their own stood in front of them, a doorway just beyond their guard. They each took a step toward Amy and Sonic as the latter got ready to spring back into battle. Suddenly, a shrill voice could be heard from a nearby speaker mounted to the ceiling. 

“Stand down boys, these two little rodents are guests,” Eggman commanded.

Sonic’s ears perked up. “Could’ve told that to the unlucky bunch back there,” he smirked.

“You could’ve waited for your invitation instead of knocking down my door, you pest,” Eggman retorted harshly. “But since you’re here…” 

“Invitation?” Amy whispered to Sonic. He looked just as perplexed. 

The doorway behind the guard bots split apart. The room beyond was bright- blindingly so- revealing an office suite fit for a business executive, complete with a robotic secretary sitting at a front desk. Stylishly decorated, it was hardly one of Eggman’s usual lab setups. 

Sonic and Amy squinted as they walked past the robots cautiously. Amy held her hammer up close to her chest defensively.

“I’m afraid there are no weapons allowed in the executive suite,” a feminine robotic voice rang out from behind the desk. “I can take that for you if you’d like, miss.”

Amy’s head whipped around to meet the secretary’s gaze. It looked on at her stiffly with an eerie “smile” and coldly lit blue eyes. Amy thought she’d be used to being stared at by a robot by now, but this creepy computer was nothing like Metal. She couldn’t help but think of him as “alive” now. But the secretary in front of her was just a machine. 

“I can take that for you if you’d like, miss,” the robot repeated.

“Oh- no- thank you.” Amy responded finally, her hammer disappearing from her grasp in a rosy puff.

The robot did not react. “Can I get you a drink?”

Sonic ignored her. “Yo, Eggman! You gonna leave us waiting?”

“The Doctor will be with you shortly. Can I get you a drink?” the secretary asked again.

“These robots are getting creepier, huh Ames?” Sonic said as he peered directly at its icy eyes.

Eggman’s voice interrupted once again, this time from a speaker on the secretary’s desk. “It’s alright- let them in.”

“The Doctor will see you now.” The light in the robot’s eyes blinked green momentarily as another door opened behind its desk. 

It remained unmoving, facing straight ahead as Amy and Sonic walked past it. Definitely creepier, Amy thought.

“So glad you could make it,” Eggman remarked sarcastically from behind an executive desk. “Sit.”

“Swanky place you got here,” Sonic commented as he peered around the room. “Unlike you to be this tasteful.”

“You’re a delight as always,” he grumbled back. “Harassing my staff and destroying my security just weeks before opening. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Yeah, I keep hearing that- no offense but this place is pretty far from opening date,” Sonic snickered.

“Of course you would think that. I said sit!” 

Sonic shrugged and sat back in a stiff chair opposite Eggman’s desk. Amy did the same, still taking in her surroundings tentatively. She looked for a spot to leave the surveillance microphone. 

“Alright,” Sonic said impatiently, “I’ll get to the point- what evil scheme are you up to this time?”

Eggman cackled in response. “I’ll tell you all about my ‘scheme’ if you tell me what you’re doing with my ‘equipment’.”

“You heard that, huh?” Sonic shrugged. “It was just a bluff.”

“Well, since you’re here…” Eggman slapped four glossy tickets on the desk in front of him. “You and the other two pests are invited to the grand opening of Magic City.”

Sonic blinked. “Very funny. Are you gonna tell us what you’re really up to?”

“Are you going to tell me what you think you’re doing with Metal Sonic?”

Amy stiffened at the mention of the name. Sonic couldn’t keep his brows from rising  in surprise.

“And why would we be harboring that creepy thing?” Sonic responded after a pause.

Eggman grumbled. “He’s been missing for weeks. You were the last ones to see him.”

“Sounds like you need to keep better track of your property.”

Amy didn’t like the idea of calling Metal “property,” but she stopped herself from saying anything. She could feel Eggman’s eyes on her from behind his dark shades. She turned her face away without a word in the silent moments that followed.

“Hm.” Eggman leaned back in his chair, pensively folding his hands over his chest. “You know, Metal wasn’t thrilled about this idea. I suppose it’s my fault- all Metal’s ever done is go after you.”

“Can’t blame my copy for being obsessed,” Sonic interrupted smugly.

“Humph. You could call it that- if you’re ignorant. But, it was a prime objective for many years…” Eggman scrunched his brow. “Bah- anyway, my goals are different now. Perhaps he was a bit conflicted. We all know he has a tendency to be… rebellious, despite my best efforts…” 

Sonic rolled his eyes at the long-winded response. “Why wouldn’t you just reprogram him?”

“Don’t act like a fool. You know as well as I that Metal’s AI makes him more than a machine!” Eggman paused with a sigh. “Not that I haven’t tried,” he mumbled under his breath. “Well, given his unique ‘programming,’ I thought a bit more freedom could be beneficial at this stage in Metal’s development. So, I let him have it,” he shrugged. “That’s why I didn’t go back for him. However, I did expect him back by now…”

Amy couldn’t help but scoff at his last remark. “Did you even try to look for him?”

Eggman raised a brow at her. “Of course I did,” he grumbled. “Metal wasn’t where I left him and all systems have been offline. Why would you even care?”

“I don’t!” Amy huffed. Getting his attention was a mistake. She fidgeted uncomfortably in the stiff chair, waiting for his focus to shift away from her.

“If you’re so sure we have your robot,” Sonic chimed in, “why don’t you just come looking?”

“Because,” Eggman gestured with both hands to the wall behind him, which immediately lit up with concept images of the upcoming Magic City. “You saw my investors, you’ve harassed my staff. This is my life now. The time for barging into your pathetic little hideouts is behind me.” He grinned sardonically. “I need to be on my best behavior, don’t you think?”

A brief, stunned silence followed as Amy and Sonic squinted at the intricately rendered images and plans rotating on the screen behind Eggman. 

“You expect us to believe that your so-called investors trust you to build a whole luxury resort with your track record?” Sonic shrugged arrogantly. “Every casino and theme park you’ve built has been a deathtrap.”

“My experience is unmatched. Why do you think they trust me to be the one to build it?” Eggman grinned.

“I don’t know,” Sonic continued, “they didn’t seem too happy with your progress.”

“I have my ways.” Eggman lowered his arms, folding his hands on the desk in front of him as the massive screens dimmed once again. “If you would just return my ‘equipment’.”

Now Amy and Sonic realized how accurate their earlier bluff really was. They exchanged a quick glance in realization.

Uneasy, Sonic pressed himself up in his chair. “What’s Metal Sonic gonna do for this dump?”

“Trade secret.” A beam of light flashed across Eggman’s eyes, reflecting off his shaded glasses as he turned his gaze down. His hands folded over his rumpled mustache. “Consider this a truce. Send back Metal Sonic, and we’ll just stay out of each other’s hair from now on, hm?”

“Why would we do that when we could take out your whole operation now?” Sonic grew serious, drawing all of The Doctor’s attention. 

Amy saw her opportunity and gripped the bottom of her chair to plant the device. She sat bolt upright when it made a tiny click. Neither Sonic nor Eggman seemed to notice.

“So you do have him.” An irritated scowl twisted The Doctor’s mouth.

“Yeah, right.” Sonic leaned back into his chair with crossed arms, challenging Eggman with a defiant stare.

“So aggressive,” Eggman shook his head. His elbows made their way onto the arms of his chair as he sat relaxed into it, uninterested in participating in a staring contest with the pest in front of him. “Just come to the opening and see for yourself that there’s nothing nefarious going on. You little rats will get to have the night of your lives, and everyone will see that there are no hard feelings between us. Good for branding, as it were.” 

Sonic only raised a brow, peering into Eggman’s obscured eyes.

“Are you scared?” The corners of Eggman’s mouth lifted smugly.

Sonic scoffed. “What?”

“Never thought I’d see you so apprehensive to come to a party! Why else would you refuse?”

“I’m not-” Sonic huffed indignantly. “How do we know this isn’t one of your traps?”

“You don’t. But it’s never stopped you before,” Eggman cackled.

The phone on Eggman’s desk chimed, followed by a robotic voice. “Doctor, your next appointment is here.”

“Thanks, we’re almost finished here.” Eggman turned his attention back to the pair in front of him. “I do hope you can all make it. However, I’m a very busy man with many meetings, so if you’ll see yourselves out…” he gestured again, this time to his right. The wall behind him opened to reveal an elevator a few feet away.

“Right. More investors, I bet,” Sonic said sarcastically, standing up from his seat. “We’ll be there. If we don’t bust you first.” 

Amy followed behind him, glancing back at her seat apprehensively. She was relieved to see the device wasn’t visible from the side.

Eggman stood up, ushering the pair into the lift. 

“Oh, and Sonic,” as they were both stepping  in, Eggman took Sonic by the shoulder to get his attention.  “I trust you’ll make the right decision about returning my… ‘equipment’.”

Sonic turned back to The Doctor. He paused at the uncharacteristic gesture. “Uh- I don’t know what you mean?” He stumbled on his words.

Eggman stepped back, waving them off. “Sure, sure. And clean Metal up before you reactivate him or I’m sending you a bill for damages.”

“We don’t have your-” Sonic began to shoot back before the elevator’s rounded doors snapped shut between them. 

“Can you believe him?!” he turned back to Amy irately. 

“Shh!” Amy scolded faintly as the lift made its way back up to the surface. She shifted her eyes around the compact tube, sure they were being watched. 

Sonic caught on, clicking his tongue. He crossed his arms with a grumble as they made their way back to the surface.

They both stepped out warily once there. The tube opened from another towering column, diagonal from the one they had entered. Its doors abruptly clamped together behind them. Amy and Sonic could see the towering structure they’d entered from hundreds of yards away

Amy and Sonic gave each other a knowing look. He reached a hand out to her.

“Let’s go.”

----

hiiiii thank you so much for reading if you’ve gotten this far esp after all the hiatuses. ily. i’d love to talk abt the fic or metamy in general so feel free to send me asks/msgs! i love seeing your tags also they make me very happy!

btw work slowed down a lot thankfully but i’m taking this figure drawing class that’s 6 hours 2x per week and my shoulder is so so sore. did not know drawing could be this physically taxing. but it’s fun i’m having fun (or so i tell myself). shout out to my boss for letting me just take class during work time. #1 mvp

[borathae]

↳ Index [Chapter 14 - Jungkook]

Warnings: Kookie is cute & sad but most of all cute, their first ever date!!, it’s cute, talks about struggle with sexuality, Koo is such an overthinker poor boy, they are so touchy with each other, this chapter is very sweet

Wordcount: 9.1k

a/n: i wanna give him the world

“Princess, do you have a minute?”

You lift your gaze from your book, “yeah sure, what’s up? Are you okay? You were gone when I woke up and I was really worried for you. Why didn’t you answer my texts?”

“Sorry I met with Carla, I didn’t look at my phone. I’m okay.”

Carla was the student he told you about on your lunch date. She wants to help Yoongi with his hunt for Namjoon.

“Yeah? You know if you want to talk about last night then-”

“No”, he interrupts you, “please don’t bring it up again”, he asks with his features contorted in awkwardness.

“Okay, I won’t”, you assure him. “so what’s up? What do you need?”

“It’s about Jungkook.”

“Oh dear, why that tone of voice? Is he okay?”

Yoongi waddles to you, sitting down on the bed next to you. The gesture was highly alarming, as Yoongi never sits down for a conversation unless it is serious (or you’re cuddling, but he currently doesn’t look like he is in the mood for that). 

“I don’t think he’s okay”, Yoongi whispers.

“Why? What happened?” you whisper back.

“Taehyung broke up with him.”

“What?! Excuse me? Why did I not know about this?”

“I talked to him today and he told me everything.”

“I, I don’t understand. They were happy. When did that happen?”

“Tuesday.”

“Tuesday? But that was two evenings ago? How did I not know about this?”

“Taehyung’s not really present a lot lately, is he? And Kook’s been locked up in his room.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right”, you murmur, sagging your shoulders, “goddamn it, that sucks so much, I thought Tae really liked him. Why would he do that?”

“You have to ask? The answer’s obvious. It’s Jimin this bastard”, Yoongi hisses but stops himself with a lift of his hand, “you know what? It doesn’t matter right now. I need a favour from you.”

“Yes, of course. What do you need?” you ask, feeling just a little bit flabbergasted by the situation. You have just found out that Taehyung ended it with Jungkook and now Yoongi wants you to do a favour for him. Oh your confused brain can barely keep up.

“Would you want to take out Jungkook today?”

“Take him out?”

“It’s just that”, Yoongi begins fumbling with his thumbs nervously, “he is really down and sad and I’m still busy for the rest of the day, so I can’t take him somewhere. So I figured that maybe you could do that?”

“And you think that I could change his mood?”

“You’re really good at making people happy”, Yoongi says in a shy voice, “I think”, he adds, touching the side of his neck. 

“Thank you my love, that’s really sweet of you”, you say, holding his hand gently. 

“Mhm”, he nods his head, “so what do you think? Can you do that for him?”

“Of course I can. I’d love to take him out. Is it safe though? I don’t want him feeling worse because he accidentally wanted to eat me or something.”

Yoongi nods his head, “I know him. He is ready to spend time alone with you, just don’t try to fuck him.”

You chuckle, “message received.”

“Good”, Yoongi nods his head a second time, looking at his watch after, “okay then, I’m off. I’ll take Hobi with me. We’re meeting with a werewolf friend of his’, who promised him some clues.”

“Wow, another werewolf? That’s so cool”, you gasp 

“It’s really not. They stink so much.”

You chuckle, “fine, if you say so. Have a good afternoon regardless.”

“You too, love”, Yoongi leans in to kiss your cheek, “we should be back by six, but if you need something you can call me whenever. I’ll turn my sound on this time. Yeah?” 

“Yeah okay”, you say, stealing a real kiss from him, “please be careful.”

“I always am”, he promises you and stands up after giving your chin a little pinch, “okay, now I’m actually off. See you later, princess.”

“Wait Yoongi love, before you go”, you say, holding his hand.

“Yes, my love? What do you need?” he asks in a sweet voice, looking at you with soft eyes.

“Are you really okay?” you ask him, caressing his knuckles. 

Yoongi furrows his brows and squeezes your hand. 

“I told you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did, but I also know you.”

“Then you know that I fucking hate that shit”, Yoongi says and sits down on bed one more time, “don’t make me talk about it.”

You study his sitting form and it’s enough for Yoongi to know what you are thinking. So why did he sit down? 

He shifts uncomfortably, “I don’t like looking down at you.”

“No, I wasn’t-”, you shake your head, but give up with a sigh at the end, “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t pressure you into talking. I hate it when someone does that to me, so I shouldn’t do it to you.”

You close the distance between you and him, kissing his cheek. He touches the spot you kissed instantly, gawking at you with parted lips. 

“I just don’t want you to feel as if you have to go through your shit alone.”

“I don’t. That’s not how I feel, I just…have to…I don’t know, I gotta think about it before I can talk about it.”

“I understand. If you feel ready, I’m here to listen.”

“I know”, he says, “I’m really okay. I have you and you hugged me. Last night. It. Yeah, it was good.”

You smile, “I’m happy that it helped.”

He looks away, “yeah, I need to go now.”

“Okay, I’ve kept you long enough”, you say, “I love you, my Boongie.”

“Me too, yeah. Love, uhm, my princess”, he steals a chaste kiss from you, “I’ll see you later”, he says, getting up to really leave.

You giggle at his adorably awkward confession of love, caressing his knuckles one last time before you break the contact. 

“Be careful, Boongie.”

“I am. See you”, he says and now truly leaves.

“See you.”

Hoseok passes by your room a second later. He says his goodbye with a cute wave and a little sound effect, before hurrying after Yoongi. 

Now alone and with too much worry for Jungkook in your chest, you decide to give up reading for today and seek him out instead.

He isn’t hard to find. Locked in his room and with the saddest love songs blasting behind closed doors. His choice of music makes so much sense now and here you were thinking that he was just his usual hopeless romantic self.

You knock twice, calling out his name. 

The music stops, seconds later you hear him.

“What do you want?” he asks behind the door.

“May I come in?”

Silence for a second as he falters, then the lock turns.

Jungkook appears in the doorframe, eyes puffy and nose runny. 

“Hey”, you say softly. 

“Hey”, he answers you.

“Yoongi told me what happened.”

Jungkook’s lips turn downwards into the saddest pout imaginable, his eyes become glassy. 

“Gosh Kookie, I’m here now. Come here.”

Jungkook falls into your arms, hiding his face in your shoulder with a sad little whimper. 

You embrace him oh so tightly, rubbing your hands up and down his back and caressing his head. 

“This sucks so much. It comes so out of nowhere”, you whine, swaying your bodies from side to side soothingly.

“I’m really sad”, Jungkook confesses, sniffling oh so loudly as his shoulders twitch in sad hiccups.

“I know, sweets. God, me too. Like what the hell?”

“Yeah”, he nods his head, drying his tears by rubbing his eyes against your shoulder.

“Did he give you a reason for it?”

“None that made sense.”

“God, that sucks so much. I seriously thought that you guys were going well.”

“Me too.”

You give him a little squeeze, hoping that this can comfort him.

“You know what we should do? Go somewhere really nice and forget all about what happened. If only just for a few hours.”

“I don’t wanna go anywhere. I’m ugly.”

“You’re not ugly, you’re gorgeous.”

“No, I’m not. Look at me”, Jungkook lifts his head, “I’m so puffy and ew.”

“You’re pretty”, you say, drying his cheeks and fixing his bangs, “the prettiest actually.”

Jungkook looks at his feet, flustering.

“Let’s do it, come on sweets. Let’s make it a date and dress up and then go somewhere fun”, you try again, caressing his upper arms, “what do you think? Doesn’t that sound better than sitting in your room and listening to sad songs?”

“I don’t wanna go outside. I don’t feel like it. Sorry”, he murmurs, rocking back and forth on his heels while his arms are tangled cutely in front of his crotch. 

“You don’t? Alright, that’s okay too. Should we hang out together here?”

Jungkook glances at you shyly.

“You really want to do this?” he asks quietly.

“Of course I do. We never spent alone time together and I want to change that.”

“Oh”, Jungkook flusters again, grinning shyly, “okay. Let’s do this then.”

“Awesome”, you give him a smile, “can I get inside?”

“Yeah you can”, he says, nodding his head obediently. He makes space for you in the doorway, following you with sparkling eyes as you enter his room.

His lights are turned off except for his bedside table lamp and a galaxy lamp. While you look around the room, Jungkook hurries to his bluetooth speaker, turning down the volume.

“Woah, your room has a galaxy lamp? That’s so cool”, you gasp.

“It’s actually my own lamp, I brought it with me”, he confesses.

“That makes more sense. I really thought for a second that you got the premium motel room package”, you joke, making him chuckle.

“No, I’m just an idiot who brings his stuff everywhere.”

“I think it’s kinda cool that you do, it makes the room feel more like home.”

“Yes, that’s why I’m doing it. I really like this lamp because it makes the rooms I stay in feel so cozy”, Jungkook says, hurrying to his bed to clean up the used tissues, “sorry for the mess. I didn’t think you’d come over, yeah uhm.”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to explain yourself. I get it”, you assure him, picking up the waste bin so he can throw the tissues in there.

“Oh? Uhm, thanks”, he mumbles, glancing at you shyly.

“Don’t mention it.”

You place it back by the door once he cleaned up, turning around just in time to watch Jungkook fluff up his pillows and fix the creases in the blanket. He turns, locking eyes with you. His hand falls to the side of his neck nervously.

“So uhm”, he begins, “what do you wanna do now?”

“I don’t know. Do you wanna talk about what happened?”

“No”, Jungkook pouts and lowers his head, “no, it’s stupid and dumb. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Okay, that’s alright too. I’m right here though, if you change your mind.”

“Thanks. That’s sweet”, he says quietly, glancing at you shyly.

“So uhm. Are you hungry?” you ask.

“No”, Jungkook shakes his head vigorously, “oh my god, why would you suggest that?”

“Gosh, I didn’t mean it like that”, you snicker, “don’t worry Kookie, I just wanted to ask if you wanted to order takeout.”

“Oh”, he flusters, “that makes more sense. Sorry ___, I thought that you wanted me to drink your blood.”

“That’s what I figured. Don’t worry, I would never suggest that.”

“That’s good to hear, yeah, that’s good”, he says and lets out a breathy laugh.

You do the same, inching closer to him. He studies you, gulping nervously.

“So what do you think? Should we order takeout and eat it together? Maybe watch a movie or something?”

“Yeah, that could be fun. What do you wanna eat?”

“Maybe pizza? That’s the best food to order, isn’t it?”

“You’re definitely on the safe side with it. I think almost every country offers pizza places. Sometimes I’m craving fried chicken, but I can’t find a good fried chicken place in every place. That always makes me upset, but pizza always works.”

“Fried chicken sounds bomb too. Should we see if we can find a place?”

“Maybe? But if you want pizza, I’m okay with that too.”

“Maybe we’ll find a place that does both”, you say, already pulling out your phone.

Jungkook steps closer, looking at your screen.

“Mhm I can’t find any places which sell both”, you murmur.

“Yeah neither can I”, Jungkook says, pointing at one of the suggestions, “they sell pizza though. Do you want to order from there?”

“Yes, what do you want?”

“I’m good, thank you. I don’t want to eat human food right now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m okay.”

“Okay, then I’ll just order a margarita for myself. Last chance.”

“I’m okay, promise.”

“Okay, okay.”

And so it happens that you order food for yourself while Jungkook busies himself by cleaning more of his room. You find him sitting on his feet in front of his luggage, folding all of his shirts painstakingly accurate. 

You join his side, sitting down and crossing your legs.

Jungkook sneaks a glance at you. 

“It’s really messy, isn’t it?” he asks.

“No, you’re just a neat freak.”

“Wow”, he snorts, “thanks.”

You snicker, nudging his arm.

“I’m just teasing. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah”, he says and chuckles. He places the folded stack of shirts back in the suitcase and moves on to folding his pants. 

“Can I help somehow?” you offer. 

“If you want to? You could fold my socks if you want to. They’re all freshly washed.”

“Understood”, you say and so you begin digging into the laundry basket in search for his socks. 

“I did the laundry this morning. I did Yoongi’s and Hoseok’s laundry too, but their stuff is already in their rooms. I was actually in the middle of folding my laundry when you knocked on my door.”

“Yeah? That’s nice of you to do for them.”

“I like doing laundry. It’s nice when the stuff smells fresh again”, he says, burying his face in his pants to smell them aggressively, “ah yeah so nice”, he sighs, nodding contently.

“I like that scent too. It’s really comforting to me for some reason.” 

“Same. And it’s a good smell. Light and fresh. It doesn’t hurt my nose”, he says, “there are many smells which overwhelm me, but fresh laundry always calms me down.”

“How does it work for you either way? Do you really smell everything ten times stronger at all times?”

Jungkook nods his head, “I do. And I smell emotions too. And obviously stuff like blood and, you know, sexy stuff too.”

You feel heat on your cheeks instantly because of his confession. 

“Yoongi says that it’s normal for a Ripper at my stage to still smell every scent so strongly. He is currently teaching me techniques on how I can ignore those scents.”

“So it’s possible?”

“For skilled vampires it’s possible, just not for me”, Jungkook sighs, giving you a little pout, “Yoongi also says that I have an especially sensitive nose. That’s why I can smell emotions so well and that’s why it’ll take extra long for me to learn.”

“I’m sure with your skills and talent, you will master it soon”, you assure him, giving his arm a little caress. 

“I hope so. It sucks so much when you smell everything so strongly. Especially stuff that feels really private”, he says, glancing at you. 

You know exactly what he meant by that.

“Yeah I know. Emma told me that you guys can smell me.”

Jungkook widens his eyes and looks away.

“I promise I’m not doing it on purpose”, he insists loudly, “it’s just that you smell really sweet on those days and I can’t help it.”

You chuckle, “hey don’t worry, at least now I know why you seem to magically disappear each time I’m on my period.”

He nods his head, “I’m sorry ___, if I didn’t distance myself I would eat you.”

“I love an honest man”, you tease and chuckle. 

Jungkook glances at you sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, that’s so creepy isn’t it?” 

“I don’t think so”, you assure him, “I understand. What I don’t understand are those socks”, you hold them up, “why the hell do they have toes?”

“Hey, don’t bully my socks. Do you even know how comfortable toe socks are? You can feel everything so well and I never have cold toes because they each get the same amount of sock.”

“Yeah but they look…questionable”, you tease. 

“They don’t”, Jungkook whines and stretches out his leg just so he can pinch you with his toes, “I’ll attack you.”

“Hey”, you complain, laughing loudly as you try to flee.

Jungkook chases you, laughing mischievously as his toes continue pinching you.

“See? I can fight you. You can’t do that with normal socks.”

“Okay, okay fine I give up”, you chuckle, “toe socks are cool.”

Jungkook pulls his foot away, returning to his previous sitting position. He flashes you a triumphant grin, chuckling to himself. 

“I can’t believe that you just pinched me with your toes”, you laugh.

“It’s what you get”, he snickers.

"Wow, really? It’s what I get?" you ask in a laugh. 

Jungkook giggles, scooting closer to you as he sways his shoulders. He nods his head, giving you the brightest bunny smile.

"Tch, so mean", you tease, giving him a fond grin.

Your phone rings, announcing your delivery person.

“Your pizza is done”, Jungkook says.

“It must be”, you say and pick up, “hello? Yes okay, coming down right away.”

The call ends. 

“And?” Jungkook asks.

“He’s outside. I’m gonna go downstairs real quick and get the pizza.”

“Wait. I’m coming with you.”

And so it happens that you and Jungkook get your pizza together. 

“Thanks for coming with me”, you tell him.

“Don’t mention it”, Jungkook says, walking next to you, “did you talk to Yoongi today?”

“Yes, he actually told me about what happened.”

“No, I meant about last night.”

“The thing with the blood?”

“Yeah”, Jungkook looks at you with a guilty expression, “I feel so bad for what happened.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Kookie. I can assure you that he is not angry at you.”

“He isn’t?”

“Of course not. He is angry at Charles for being a douchebag.”

“Did you guys talk about it last night?”

“In a way.”

“He is alright, isn’t he?”

“I think he’s a little better than last night. You know Yoongi. Once he thinks about a situation for too long he gets embarrassed and refuses to talk about it. So I can’t be sure, but I think he feels better today.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I really hope he does”, Jungkook sighs sadly, “I hate to think that he had to drink human blood because of me.”

“I can assure you that Yoongi would have been more upset if he didn’t drink it and you got triggered because of it.”

“I guess”, Jungkook mumbles, “thanks for saying that. It makes a lot of sense.”

“Don’t mention it. My preferred outcome would have been no blood drinking for anyone, but I guess it’s better that you didn’t have to be triggered.”

“Yeah. It just sucks because Yoongi had to suffer instead.”

“Yes, gosh you are so right. My poor baby”, you say and sigh in sadness, “I want to keep him safe. Seriously.”

Jungkook chuckles and agrees with a vigorous nod of his head.

You give the delivery guy a tip and then it is already time for you to return to Jungkook’s room. He is carrying the pizza carton for you, walking behind you on the stairs.

“Seriously”, you begin, “it’s so nice that you came with me. The stairway is really creepy”, you say over your shoulder. 

“Of course I did. Yoongi would kill me if something happened to you and I’d murder myself too”, he says. 

“Ah I see how it is. You’re babysitting me”, you tease, turning on the stairs to look down at him. 

Jungkook almost collides with you, stopping with a little “huh?”

He lifts his head, locking eyes with you. You are grinning at him.

“I’m not babysitting you, I’m just keeping you safe”, he says and pouts. 

“I know gosh, I was teasing you”, you say, running your fingers through his hair, “sorry, I’m always teasing Yoongi so much that I’m so used to it now.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind being teased.”

“Yeah? You don’t?” you ask, scratching him right behind his ear. 

“No”, he almost sighs the word, tilting his head back slightly. He flutters his lashes at you, lips curling into a lazy smirk, “mhm ___, that feels good”, he lulls, putting enough rasp into his voice that you feel the effect deep in your stomach. 

You gulp, retreating your touch slowly. You didn’t think that he’d react like that. 

“Your hair’s so long these days”, you say in hopes of diffusing the situation, now playing with the ends of his bangs. 

“Yeah right? I think that long hair really fits my face shape”, he says, leaning into your touch.

“You’re right. It really brings out your features.”

“Thank you”, he blushes, lowering his eyes, “sorry uhm”, he whispers and giggles, swaying his shoulders from side to side.

He is truly adorable and so you can’t help but reach out to run your fingers down his cheek. Jungkook gawks at you instantly, blinking at you quickly.

You tug a strand of hair behind his ear, touching his upper arm afterwards just so you can run your palm down to his hand.

“You’re so cute”, you say, caressing his knuckles.

“Oh uhm”, he laughs breathily, looking at his feet, “thank you, uhm. Wow.”

“Now come, let’s get back to your room. I’m freezing my toes out here. I think I need toe socks too.”

Jungkook laughs, following you up the stairs.

“You can have a pair of mine if you want to.”

“Honestly I’d be down.”

The galaxy lights changed to a deep pink once you returned to his room, greeting you with sparkling stars all over his ceiling.

“I can’t wait to dig into this pizza, I’m so hungry already. You know, sometimes when I’m reading I lose track of time and whenever that happens I end up so hungry”, you say, hurrying to his bed to sit down on the edge of it.

Jungkook eyes you, shimmying from one food to the other. 

“Hey uhm”, he begins, “can I give you one of my sweats? I don’t like it when people sit on my bed with their outside clothes.”

“They’re my reading pants. Hey rude, they’re not outside pants, they’re reading pants”, you whine.

“They are? Oh god, I’m sorry. I thought that you were already outside with them”, he says with widened eyes.

“No worries, the only place I was with them was Yoongi’s bed and now your room. But I can still change if you want to.”

“No it’s okay, uhm, do you want the socks now?”

You look at your bare feet, wiggling your toes.

“That’d be lovely.”

Jungkook nods his head, hurrying to his suitcase to snatch a freshly washed pair. He closes the distance between you and him, kneeling down in front of you. 

“What are you doing?” you ask in a gasp.

Jungkook looks up at you with sparkling eyes.

“Relax. I’ll put them on for you”, he says, “if I can”, he adds.

You smile, nodding your head. 

With your consent, Jungkook takes your left foot and places it on his thigh. He gathers the sock and begins rolling it up your foot, going slowly in order not to hurt you. It tickles slightly, but what truly tingles are the innocent brushes of his fingers against your skin. 

You can’t stop looking at him. He is so cute in his comfortable clothes and with his hair all unstyled. Also, his gesture is beyond wonderful, leaving you with a fluttering tummy.

“Was that nice?” Jungkook asks once the first sock is on.

“Yeah, it’s nice. You’re really gentle”, you tell him, painting the fairest of pinks on his cheeks.

He takes your right foot, placing it on his thigh so he can work in getting the sock on. He struggles a little with getting in your pinkie toe which ends in you and him sharing giggles. Truly, this is so nice to experience with him.

Once done, he caresses your insteps, gazing up at you. 

“And? What do you think?” he asks.

You wiggle your toes. 

“It’s an unfamiliar feeling. It kind of feels wrong to have sock on each toe.”

“But it’s really warm, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s very cozy.”

He smiles proudly.

“I think they suit you”, he says, placing your feet down gently so he can sit next to you, “did you like what I did?”

“Yes, it was really sweet.”

He giggles, “I’m happy. I wanted to be romantic”, he blushes, “I hope that you don’t mind.”

You nudge him, “you’re so cute, Kookie. I like it, don’t worry”, you say.

Jungkook reaches out to touch your cheek. You feel your breath hitch because of it. 

His touch is gentle and barely there, running from your temple along your cheek down to your jawline. His eyes follow his fingers, your heart flutters like crazy. 

“Heh”, he lets out and pulls back, saying nothing more. He merely gazes and smiles at you.

“Hah”, you let out, lowering your head. He never acted like this before. It is messing with your head in the most exciting of ways. With a sped up pulse, you force yourself to pay attention to the pizza. If you hadn’t, you probably would have died from heart palpitations. You take the first slice and bite into it deliciously, “mhhhm so good”, you gush.

“Yeah? That’s good to hear. You should eat a lot.”

“I will. Wow, it’s really yummy”, you mumble, taking a big bite afterwards, “are you sure that you don’t want a slice?”

“Yes, I’m okay.”

“Okay, okay. Wow seriously, that’s good pizza.”

Jungkook watches you eat for a while, fumbling with his fingers the entire time. It feels unreal to him to have you in his room. He has such a big crush on you and if he still had a heartbeat, it would be going crazy by now. You are spending time with him! And while he should be really nervous, he wasn’t. You make him feel really comfortable and good and excited.

“Hey uhm”, he breaks the nice silence, “do you want to listen to me sing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want to eat next to me while I sing? I really like karaoke.”

You smile. It fits him. 

“You do?”

“I do. It’s really fun.”

“I’d love to do that with you”, you say, “can I just get more comfortable?”

“Of course, get comfy. I’m getting everything ready.”

You climb on his bed to get cozy while Jungkook prepares everything. You can’t wait to listen to him. You have noticed by now that Jungkook really loves to sing. He has a reason for it, because his voice is beautiful. It really, really is. 

“I got a mic especially for karaoke. I always bring that with me too”, he explains with his brows furrowed in concentration as he tries to connect the television to the internet. 

“Your suitcases must be so heavy.”

“Probably. I don’t feel the weight, except on my right arm”, he says, rolling his shoulder.

“Yeah? How is that going by the way? Is it still weaker?”

“Yes and Yoongi says that unless I meet someone skilled in dark magic, I won’t be able to fix it.”

“Dark magic?” 

“Basically it would need someone to curse my arm with the Ripper curse to get it to full strength. But those witches are really hard to come by and the risks of the spell going wrong are really high as well, so I guess I just have to live with it”, he says.

“I don’t know if it helps you a little, but I think that you’re still really strong.”

“Thank you”, he finally manages to enter the app he wanted to get into all this time, beginning to type in the first song “but on the plus side, I can have tattoos on this arm. On any other part of my body, my skin would heal before I could even finish the tattoo.”

“Is that why you’re all tattooed?”

“Yeah. I always liked tattoos and I’m happy that I could them done.”

“They fit you really well.”

“Thank you. I think so too.”

“But isn’t that really dangerous too? Don’t other vampires instantly know that you have a human limb because of your tattoos?”

“No actually, they don’t. There are still ways to get tattoos as a vampire. They all involve magic and according to Taehyung hurt like a bitch.”

“How does he know?”

“Apparently Jimin had tattoos done as a vampire.”

“I see. I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah, he wanted to know my tattoos’ stories one night and then the topic of Jimin came up”, Jungkook lowers the remote, “it was back when he wasn’t a dick”, he murmurs. 

You study him. He is hunching in what you assume to be an inability to handle his current emotions.

“Kookie, can I ask you what exactly happened between you and him? I thought that you were going really well.”

“I thought the same until he told me that I was nothing but a distraction to him.”

“What? He said that?” you gasp.

“Yes.”

“Well fuck. I didn’t expect that.”

“Neither did I.”

“It seriously doesn’t sound like Tae.”

“Yeah well, he made it pretty clear to me that he doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

“Well that’s just terrible”, you furrow your brows, “should I talk to him?”

“No. He made it clear how he feels and I don’t want to see him anymore”, Jungkook says and somehow it feels as if he was lying.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”, he pretends  and he turns around, flashing you a smile. “Do you want to hear me sing now?” he asks with more life in his voice, “I picked out a good song.”

“Of course, I’m ready”, you say, giving him a smile because you know that this is what he wants you to do. If he wanted to talk, he would. Right now, it seems that he wants to be distracted with your company, music and an opportunity to perform a little concert. And you don’t mind one bit, listening to him perform the first song of many whilst munching on your pizza.

He performs the songs without a break in between, showing off little dance moves whenever he can and truly it is wonderful to experience. He is so talented. Who would have thought that someone who was once too shy to stay in the same room with you is currently singing his heart out just for you. 

You have just finished your pizza and are in the middle of storing the carton on the ground when Jungkook finally takes the first break, lowering his mic.

He turns, eyes flitting to your face. Your heart flutters. He is breathing heavily from dancing, staring at you with expectant eyes.

You cheer for him loudly, clapping into your hands. Jungkook’s face lights up instantly.

“That was amazing”, you exclaim, “you are so talented, what the hell.”

“Hehe thank you”, he giggles cutely, moving closer to the bed in happy skips, “the last song was a really risky performance, wasn’t it?”

He sang an Arctic Monkeys song, swaying his hips the entire time and quite frankly it was very attractive to watch.

“It was so hot”, you say honestly because you see no point in lying to him. He affected you and he should know.

He grins, stretching out his arms to you.

“Do you want to dance?”

Another Arctic Monkeys song is playing in the background. Wanna Be Yours. It’s a good song. It feels heavy in tension tonight.

“Yes, I do”, you say, placing your hands in his’ just to end up squeaking in surprise as he tugs you to your feet quickly to twirl you. 

“Ah dear”, you gasp, having to stumble into his chest, “Kook dear lord, you startled me.”

Jungkook snickers, holding you safely as he sways your hips from side to side.

“I just wanted to start the dance with a bam.”

“Well you did, I’m thoroughly surprised”, you say, placing your hands on his chest. 

Jungkook begins dancing, guiding you over the floor to the slow song. He won’t say it, but his improvised beginning of the dance was his way of impressing you.

It was successful. You are thoroughly charmed by him, heart fluttering like crazy now that he was so close and you can look into his eyes. Truly, you could get lost in them.

He gives you a sweet smile. 

“You look so pretty today”, he says. 

“Oh, thank you”, you say, flustering, “gosh Kook, you are always so sweet with your compliments.”

“You think so?” 

“Yes. Hobi and Jin are just straight up horndogs and Yoongi and Tae are respectful. But you are sweet.”

He flusters slightly. 

“I don’t like being a horndog. I mean”, he laughs, “I do, but not with compliments. I think it’s so disrespectful to your hard work.”

“My hard work?”

He nods his head, “yes, you put lots of effort into your look. I want to acknowledge that.”

He makes you smile. 

“You’re so sweet. Thank you, Kookie.”

He grins and gives you a nod of his head. The song changes, but Jungkook sees no problem in it. He changes the dance with it smoothly, leading you over the carpeted floor most skilfully. 

“I think you’re really handsome too, Kook.” 

“You think so?” 

You nod your head, making his eyes sparkle slightly. 

“Thank you. I took ages to get it right.”

“Well, you were successful.” 

“Thanks”, he says and giggles shyly, “I call it post crying glow.”

You snort, “well, you are glowing”, you joke, making him chuckle.

“Thank you”, he says.

Your bodies do an elegant twirl. Jungkook makes sure you dodge the corner of the bed, never once struggling with the steps. Now you are dancing on the other side of it, closer together because the space is smaller. Jungkook’s hands rest on the small of your back, his eyes seem unable to leave your face.

You giggle, caressing his shoulder, “this is so much fun”, you say, running your hand to the side of his neck to caress it gently.

Jungkook leans into the touch, giving you big heart eyes. 

“I think”, he begins, lowering his eyes.

“Yes?”

“I think you are really cute.”

“You do?”

He nods his head, “you’re totally my type.”

“Wow Kook. Damn, you flirt. I don’t know what to say.”

He grins sheepishly, twirling you once and catching you safely. Like this, his hand is on the side of your waist, resting there and reminding you how deep his touch seeks into your skin.

“We have to practice together again”, he says, “I miss our times in the ring. You’re a really great boxing partner.”

“I’d love that. I’m even better these days, so get ready to get your ass beat.” 

“I’m counting on it”, he says, carrying mischief in his eyes. 

“Jeon Jungkook”, you gasp dramatically, “are you being a horndog right now?” 

“Maybe.” 

He makes you chuckle. 

“You’re adorable”, you give his chin a soft pinch, “honestly you fascinate me. You are so adorable that sometimes I can’t believe that you’re into all that kinky stuff.”

Jungkook laughs.

“I honestly think it’s because I’m a vampire. Human me was so vanilla that I even thought oral to be kinky.”

“Okay I cannot imagine that. Oh my god Kook”, you snicker.

He snickers too, scrunching his nose up cutely.

“But I really like to be romantic too. I think if I could choose my perfect evening it would be ninety percent romantic and ten percent kinky.”

“Yeah? That sounds so nice.”

“Yes and I’d wanna do nice stuff first.”

“Nice stuff?”

“Like dance and talk”, he confesses.

“Oh.”

Your eyes run over his face, your breath hitches in your throat. Oh.

His eyes flit to your lips and slowly but surely his smile fades out. He licks over his lips, eyes softening in yearning. So close and yet not close enough. The tension is killing you both. 

“You’re allowed to kiss me”, you whisper, noticing his look with a fluttering heart.

Jungkook lets out a breathy laugh, “was it that obvious?” he asks, glancing at you shyly.

You nod your head, painting colour onto his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare.”

“It’s okay”, you say, closing the distance between your faces just enough that he gasps in surprise. You stop once your lips are almost touching, feeling your skin tingle in anticipation, “come closer and kiss me”, you whisper.

Jungkook leans in, giving you the sweetest kiss ever. Slow and gentle and short. Very short because he was scared to go too far. He pulls back with rosy cheeks, lifting his shoulders to his ears as he giggles. 

“Wow ___, that was so good”, he says, gazing at you. 

“It was. You’re such a great kisser, Kook”, you tell him, caressing his cheekbone. 

“Can I do it again?”

“Why don’t you find out?”

Jungkook leans in and kisses you, gasping when you prevent him from pulling back by lacing your fingers deep into his hair. He stumbles, squeezing your waist as he struggles with finding your rhythm. Not because it is impossible to follow, but because he didn’t expect you to kiss him with such passion.

He closes his arm around you, pressing you against his chest. This feels so good to him. Your lips are so soft and you taste so good. He wants to melt with you. Oh god, this is amazing.

“Careful”, you giggle, colliding with the nightstand as Jungkook accidentally stumbled too far.

“Oh sorry”, he mumbles, squeaking with you as you lose balance and almost crash into the wall.

The kiss breaks because of it. You both laugh, letting yourselves fall onto the bed because it felt right to do.

And so it happens that you end up lying on the bed in Jungkook’s room, facing each other and holding hands.

“That was a fail”, you snicker.

“Right? I feel it’s my fault. I’m sorry, I’m always so rough.”

“You’re really not, the room’s just small.”

“I guess”, he laughs, but stops when you prop yourself up on your elbows and scoot closer to him.

You touch his chest, his breath hitches in his throat.

“I uhm”, you begin, eyes flitting to his lips.

He understands.

“I’m scared”, he confesses.

“Scared?”

“It’s starting to affect me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I see. Should we just lay here and talk then?”

He nods his head, staring at your lips longingly. You and him both know that if the situation was different, you would be lost in a kiss right now.

“That’s okay. It sounds nice”, you say, lying back down so you were facing him again. You intertwine your fingers with him, giving him a fond smile.

One Jungkook retorts shyly.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to risk it.”

“It’s okay, I understand.”

“I really want to kiss you”, he confesses.

“Me too, Kookie. But I understand that the risks are too high. Please don’t blame yourself.”

“I’ll try to. I blame myself a lot.”

“I know. You and Yoongi both. But you shouldn’t. You didn’t choose this life and you are working on getting better. You’re not to blame.”

“You really think so?”

“I do.”

Jungkook smiles honestly, exhaling in relief.

“Thank you for understanding”, he says in a whisper, “you don’t know how much this means to me.”

“Don’t. I’ll always understand.”

He nods his head, shimmying closer. He kisses your knuckles, glancing at you.

“I can kiss you there”, he says, smiling cutely.

“That felt really good”, you say with fondness in your voice.

“Mhm”, he hums and closes his eyes to continue kissing your hands.

You close your eyes at one point, falling into the tranquillity his gentle affection makes you feel. It is nice to lay here with him as you listen to music and behind your closed eyelids the galaxy lamp changes colour.

“___, can I tell you something?” Jungkook asks in a whisper.

You open your eyes, meeting his gaze.

“Of course”, you answer him in a whisper.

“Okay so, I feel like there are those topics which you can only discuss with your most trusted people because otherwise you’d be called an asshole.”

“I get that. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you.”

“I sometimes feel really weird.”

“Yeah?”

“Mh-hm yeah.”

“Weird about what?”

“I guess…about my preferences?”

You furrow your brows in confusion.

“Please don’t hate me.”

“Just tell me, I won’t hate you.”

“I sometimes feel like a fake bisexual”, he confesses. 

“Yeah? What makes you feel that way?”

“It’s just so weird for me, because there’s Yoongi or Tae, who had romantic feelings for men in their past, but I don’t….I can’t feel that way about men.”

“Really? But weren’t you into Tae? And what about Yoongi?”

“But that’s just because they’re them. I like them for them. I don’t know, I can’t explain it.”

“Okay, I think I get you, but continue.”

“I like to have sex with men and, and I think that men like Yoongi or Tae are really attractive and I know I’m personally attracted to them and that I also want to have sex with them and be with them, but.”

Jungkook falters, gnawing on his lower lip nervously. 

“You must think I’m such an ass”, he says.

“No Kook, I don’t. I am genuinely interested in what you have to say.”

“Okay so”, he seems reassured again. He takes a deep breath and looks away. “When I think of what my perfect relationship looks like, I never picture it with a man.”

He shifts uncomfortably, fumbling with his own fingers.

“I love Yoongi so much and I love Hobi and Jin and maybe Tae too. But I can’t picture them to be my boyfriends. I want to, but there’s always something in my head preventing me from conjuring up images. I want Tae and, and Yoongi to be my partners, but then I don’t.”

He touches his own forehead. 

“Oh god, it’s so complicated. I really love them and I want to have sex with them. But I can’t picture a committed relationship with a man. I always picture my perfect relationship with a woman.”

He exhales shakily, massaging his own forehead.

“I know I don’t make any sense, but I’ve only fallen in true love with a woman before. And I feel more romantically attracted to women. And I also want to have a girlfriend. And it feels so wrong to want that because if I want to have sex with both women and men, why do I not want to be in a relationship with both? But why do I also want to be in a relationship with Yoongi and, and Tae? But also why can’t I picture it?” 

He huffs out air.

“I’m sorry, I’m making no sense. It’s just so weird, because I imagine all those domestic and mundane and simple relationship things with a woman, but it’s hard to do with a man and see it as romantic. When I think of those moments with a man, I see it as two friends doing it and not lovers. You know?” 

He turns his head to you again.

“Like cooking together, cleaning, shopping. It can be so romantic, but with guys I see it as normal.”

“But doesn’t it just depend on the person? I bet you wouldn’t see those things as romantic when you’re doing it with Emma for example.”

“Yeah I guess, you’re right. Urgh now I’m even more confused”, he groans, touching the side of his neck, “there is stuff like dancing in the kitchen or taking baths together or squeaking when they slip their cold hands under my shirt, I can’t picture myself experiencing those things with a man. I want to experience them with a woman. And it makes me feel like the shittiest and fakest bisexual ever.”

“I can imagine that it does”, you say, “but I don’t think that it should.”

Jungkook listens to you intently. 

“Sexuality is so messy. And especially bisexuality. Now listen to me.”

“I am.” 

“It’s met with so much pressure and rude questions. You’re in a relationship with the same sex and all of a sudden you were always pretending to be straight. You’re in a relationship with the opposite gender and suddenly you always pretended to be gay. You were in both same sex and opposite sex relationships and all of a sudden you’re greedy and can’t choose. And those questions come from both sides, straight or queer. Let the bis breathe for god’s sake.”

Jungkook laughs, nodding his head vigorously. 

“And I really get how fake you must feel. You like sex with men but imagine your perfect domestic bliss to be with a woman. It sounds confusing to you, but I don’t think that it’s confusing.”

“Yeah it is. It makes no sense.”

“Well, does it make sense to you?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“And why is that? Because you are told that bisexuals have to act a certain way?”

He nods his head. 

“So what you are saying is that you think it shouldn’t make sense when in reality, sexuality and attraction can come in so many varieties and levels.”

“I don’t understand that.”

“The way you feel, Jungkook, isn’t wrong nor is it a sign of you being a broken bisexual. It is perfectly good and valid.” 

“But I feel so mean. And fake.”

“You are not fake. You’re just as much as bisexual as let’s say Tae or someone else who had true romantic relationships with men. Maybe you just want hetero love.”

He chuckles.

“Don’t laugh at my wording, I know it sounds like a bad soft porno.”

“Yeah, totally.”

You and him share an honest and sweet laugh. 

“But I’m serious, Kookie”, you say in a chuckle, “maybe you like to have sex with both men and women. But you feel more romantically comfortable with women. That is an option too. And it’s a valid option and something you are allowed to feel.”

“You think so?”

“Of course. I’m sure there are many bisexual people out there, who love sex with all genders, but prefer dating a certain gender. And they are valid too. Just as those with no preferences are. And also just as you are”, you say, touching his arm softly, “you are all valid and if someone tells you differently punch them in the nostrils.”

Jungkook chuckles, lowering his eyes shyly. 

“And I think it also makes perfect sense why you might crave romantic connection with a woman.”

“It does?”

“It does”, you assure him, “you get romantic attention from guys in the form of Yoongi and Tae, but have you been romantically involved with a woman ever since you turned into a vampire?”

Jungkook shakes his head, “you are the first, who actually stayed.”

“See? I bet you must really crave that feeling again and therefore it’s easier for you to imagine it, because you want it so, so bad.”

“Yes”, Jungkook whispers, looking relieved, “so, I’m allowed to feel that way?”

“Yes, you are.”

He hides his face behind his hand and lets out a relieved giggle. 

“I feel so relieved right now. It’s been dragging me down so much lately and it really burdened me. Especially when I was with Tae. I was really happy with him and I liked it so much, but then I always caught myself thinking wow he is washing my hair, what must that feel like with a woman? or oh he is buying me clothes, how would that be with a woman? Stuff like that. You know?”

You nod your head.

“And it made me feel really shitty, because I genuinely enjoyed my time with Tae and I didn’t want to question everything so much.”

“I get it. I bet experiencing romance with Tae for the first time ever since you turned gave you a glimpse of what you missed out on and what you could have and so your mind started wondering how it would feel like with women because you haven’t had that in a long time.”

“You really say what I couldn’t put into words. When you say it, it doesn’t feel so wrong anymore and it finally makes sense to me.”

“It does?”

“Yes. I was so upset with myself because I couldn’t understand it.”

“I can imagine, that must have been so exhausting.”

“Yes”, he says and looks at you.

“I totally get it. I really hope that you feel better now.”

“I do”, he smiles shyly, “thank you so much. I know I’m such an ass for dropping this on you, so thank you for staying.”

“Kook. You’re not an ass, I don’t feel burdened by listening to your worries.”

“Really?” he sounds surprised. 

“Of course I don’t. That’s what partners are here for. I’m here for you, Kookie.”

“Wow, okay fuck”, he says and laughs in disbelief all whilst blinking rapidly, “wait. Fuck, I’m actually going to cry.”

“Don’t cry.”

“Fuck”, he laughs but sniffles afterwards, “fuck”, another laugh, “my life fucked me up so much”, he says through a smile, although his eyes are glassy. 

His brows tremble as they try to furrow, but Jungkook doesn’t let them. He just looks at you with a bright smile on his lips but utter brokenness in his eyes.

“It fucked me up so much”, he says and laughs, “I don’t even know anymore how it is to have a girlfriend”, he says with his voice trembling. His smile grows, the tears escape his eyes, “I don’t know anymore.”

“Oh Kookie”, you press out, propping yourself up on your elbows to give him a hug.

“Don’t hug me”, Jungkook stops you, “I am currently trying to keep it together and if you hug me right now, I’m going to break down.” 

“I get that”, you scoot back, but stay propped up on your elbows. You give him a reassuring smile, “you know that you don’t have to pretend for me, don’t you?”

“Yeah I know, I just don’t want to cry tonight. My nose is going to get stuffy and I look so ugly when I cry.”

You snort and chuckle. 

Jungkook chuckles too, rubbing at his eyes vigorously.

“Everyone looks ugly when they cry. Besides, you don’t.”

“You’re contradicting yourself.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah no, it doesn’t”, Jungkook says and falls silent. 

You fall silent too, looking at his face. His skin changes colours in sync with the changing of his galaxy lamp. His eyes are dancing over your features, sparkling not in tears but admiration. 

“Can I tell you something else?”

“Yes of course.”

“For the longest time I always pictured my sweetheart’s face when I imagined my perfect relationship. She was just kind of my go to face because she was the only girl I was ever allowed to love freely.”

“I get that.”

“I don’t really picture her face these days anymore.”

“Really? Why not?”

“I think it’s because I….” he lowers his eyes, “...it’s because I imagine your face instead.”

“Really?” you whisper.

Jungkook nods his head, looking at you shyly. 

“I know we’re more fuck buddies than anything. And I know I’m so creepy for doing it, but I always think of you when I imagine domestic scenes.”

You feel your heart flutter. 

“What are you thinking? The silence makes me nervous." 

“We’re not just fuck buddies, Kookie. I actually wanna have you as my boyfriend.”

“Woah”, he widens his eyes, “wait. Really?”

You scoot closer and rest your head on his upper arm. You slip your hand under his shirt, caressing his tummy and ribs. Then you finally nod your head.

Jungkook closes his arm around you, inhaling shakily.  

“Sorry, my hands are kinda cold. You can’t squeak”, you say.

Jungkook laughs but sniffles afterwards.

“It’s alright, just don’t pull away.”

You shake your head, snuggling closer.

Jungkook turns, draping his arm over you just so he can hug you against his chest and bury his nose in your hair. His eyes are squeezed shut as he does.

“Holy fuck ___”, he whispers.

“I love this Kook”, you tell him, tracing his spine. 

“Me too, I love this so much.”

Jungkook squeezes you to him and sighs. 

He feels fulfilled when he is with you. And right. He feels so right. He worries so much, thinks that he is so twisted and wrong. But when he talks to you and you tell him that he isn’t wrong, Jungkook finally feels right. 

You shift those jumbled pieces inside of him and give them their right place. And in those moments Jungkook feels whole. 

“I hope you know how important you are”, Jungkook whispers.

“Why?” you laugh in disbelief.

“Because you know what to say and you give so much love to people. And it feels so good to be loved by you, because you do it so honestly and so fully and never with conditions attached. You’re so important and I hope you never lose that side of yourself because it’s precious.”

“Oh my god, Kook”, you gasp, flustering.

“I’m serious. You’ve helped Yoongi so much by just being you. And, and you also helped me. I feel so understood. Thank you.”

You lift your head just so you can look into his eyes. 

Jungkook smiles and so you smile as well.

“You’re so sweet, Kookie”, you whisper, reaching up to cup his cheek.

Jungkook leans into the touch with his eyes falling closed. Your eyes flit to his lips. Oh, how you want to kiss him.

“Hey Kookie?”

“Yes?”

“Wanna get out of here and see if Yoongi’s back so we can make out?” you suggest.

Jungkook opens his eyes, looking at your lips instantly.

“Just in case, so you can’t lash out accidentally”, you add.

He smiles and nods his head.

“Yes”, he whispers, “I would love this so much.”

“Me too.”

And so it happens that you and Jungkook leave his room to hurry to Yoongi’s room, giggling and snickering like little children whilst having eyes for solely the other.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Sending hugs always!

11. Who is clingy?

12. What is something their S/O does that makes them flustered?

13. What is something they find hot about their S/O?

14. What is something they argue about constantly? Is it a deep-seated issue or something small?

15. How do they comfort one another when the other is upset?

16. Who is the better caretaker? Does their S/O like being taken care of?

Please and thank you!

Hello! Thanks for the ask! (From this OC relationship ask game)

I think I'll do Gwen and Akash.

11. Who is clingy?

Out of the two of them, Gwen. Gwen's the kind of person who can cope with not seeing Akash every day. True love transcends any distance. Meanwhile Akash is just like "I miss her so much :(" if she's not in the room

12. What is something their S/O does that makes them flustered?

Akash has a lot of adorkable charm about him. He's sweet and charismatic and awkward and Gwen is so into it. His hair is a mess and he makes it worse all the time but Gwen finds him endearing. Gwen's empathy and loving nature combined with her badass spark is what gets Akash flustered. She'll give him a loving gesture and his heart flutters.

13. What is something they find hot about their S/O?

Akash thinks Gwen's athletic build is hot and Gwen thinks Akash's singing voice is hot.

14. What is something they argue about constantly? Is it a deep-seated issue or something small?

Have not gotten far enough into TSP for there to be an argument. If anything, Akash doesn't always recognize Gwen being an introvert who sometimes just wants alone time. If she doesn't want to do something because she's overwhelmed and needs to recharge, Akash could misinterpret that as her not liking him (because of his self-esteem issues). For the other way around, sometimes Gwen doesn't communicate what she wants clearly enough, leaving Akash to guess, and he's definitely a people pleaser so he's trying to fulfill her desires, he just can't figure them out.

15. How do they comfort one another when the other is upset?

Gwen is always super empathetic. She may not always understand from experience, but she can connect with others very easily. If Akash is upset, she listens and validates his emotions, but let's him know it's okay. Akash is always a good listener who will not hesitate to give advice on how to help. If Gwen is upset, he offers solutions on how he can help.

16. Who is the better caretaker? Does their S/O like being taken care of?

Ooh this is a hard one. Akash I feel like would go out of his way to do things to take care of Gwen, but may be overbearing or overstep. Gwen would be constantly in-tune with how Akash feels to get him exactly what he needs. Akash loves getting taken care of in the sense that he loves being loved and the attention of course, but there will be a part of him that's guilty and wants to make it up, and he'll do whatever he can to make sure Gwen isn't working too hard.

✨ Gwen intro✨

✨ Akash intro✨

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

[country-n-sassy]

1. Would you rather be blindfolded or blindfold?

2. Would you rather orgasm while performing oral or during intercourse?

3. What was your high school sex fantasy?

4. What’s your favorite position?

5.  Which part of your body do you consider the most sexy?

6.  Do you like to swallow?

7.  Who do you fantasize about when you’re alone?

8. Your last sexual encounter; good or bad and why?

9. Where is one place you would never have sex?

10. Top or bottom?

11.  Best sexual complement you ever got?

12. When was the first time you masturbated?

13.  Have/would you ever have sex outside?

14. Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

15.  Do you sleep in pajamas, underwear, or nothing at all?

16.  If you had a sexual “to-do” list, what would be on top of the list?

17. Is a weird “sex face/orgasm face” a total deal breaker?

18. Do you have a gag reflex?

19. Is your sex life award-winning or a total flop?

20. Are piercings sexy?

21. Can/Have you ever squirted before?

22. List your kinks.

23. How did you discover you were kinky?

24. What was your first kinky sexual experience?

25. Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?  If so, what are they?

26. What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy?

27. Something that never fails to make you horny:

28. Where is one place you would never have sex?

29. The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:

30. Whats the best way to sexually bind someone? (handcuffs, ropes, etc.)

31. Whats the fastest way to make you horny?

32. Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

33. Two things you like/dislike about oral sex:

34. How big is too big?

35. One sexual thing you would never do:

36. Three spots that drive you insane:

37. Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

38. Is it good sex even if you don’t cum?

39. Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? Why/Why not?

40.  If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be now?

41. Do you like giving head? Why/why not?

42. Do you own any sex toys? If so, how long have you had them?

43. Do you watch porn?

44. Have you had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

45. How would you react if you found out your parents had sex on your bed?

46. Spanking: turn on or turn off?

47.  What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

48. Biggest sexual fantasy?

49. Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer?

50. Thoughts on period sex?

Wow... that's a lot.

1. I'm ok with either, although I haven't played much with blindfolds. I'm more about spontaneous sex than a planned activity.

2. No preference, an orgasm is always great.

3. I'm not sure I gave sexual fantasies much thought in HS... or anything else for that matter 🤣🤣

4. Any position with a partner is my favorite!!! Spontaneous and passionate are always the best!

5. I don't think I'm sexy, but I would say my eyes or my smile. Maybe my ass 🤷‍♀️

6. Yes.

7. I usually fantasize about a man I can't have, but it is what it is.

8. My last sexual encounter was great, for the most part. It was risky and naughty, and I shouldn't have done it, but I wanted it sooooo bad!!! I wish I had done some things differently. As I'm sure we always do.

9. Never say never....

10. Top or bottom depends on my mood, I enjoy both and wouldn't say I have a preference.

11. The best sexual comment I've ever gotten was from my ex, he told me one time that I was so good at sucking dick, that even if we broke up his dick would still want me because nobody else would compare.

12. Fuck I'm old! I don't remember the first time I masturbated??? Probably younger than I'd like to admit.

13. Outside sex is amazing!! Yes/Yes.... and YES!!!!

14. The last guy who kissed me was amazing, but it didn't mean to him what it meant to me.

15. I sleep very naked. Lol

16. The top of my sexual "to do" list would be to have sex! Lol

17. What kind of question is that? The "O" face isn't a deal breaker unless he's the only one having one....

18. I do have a gag reflex and it pisses me off because I love sucking dick and it gets in my way of being as good as I want sometimes.

19. When I had a sex life, it was award winning, but I guess it's a total flop at the moment - aka non-existent.

20. Depends, sometimes I think they are, and sometimes I think it makes the person look like they're trying too hard to be someone they aren't. Piercings definitely rely on the person's personality to be sexy or not. To be clear, I'm talking about being a genuine bad boy... sorry, I like what I like.

Wait, there's MORE?

21. I haven't ever squirted before, I've tried several times, but I can't get myself to relax enough. I'm too self-conscious.

22. I don't have kinks.

23. Tumblr helped me discover that I'm NOT kinky, I'm just fun.

24. No kinky experiences, just spontaneous, passionate, and consensual, wild sex.

25. As we've discussed, not kinky, so no life altering revelations....

26. No comment

27. Effort. Effort will always make me horny, even if the effort is something not sexyally related. If a man did something for me, as simple as bringing me coffee cause he knew I was having a rough day - instantly horny (after thanking him with a passionate kiss and probably ass grabbing, of course). And if the effort involves him taking the time to listen to me.... hold on!!

28. Never say never....

29. Awkward moments during sex are expected when learning each other. If you can't laugh, talk about it and learn from it... how do you get better? One of my favorite things is seeing my man smile during sex over something cute or fun or new... love, love, love it!!

30. I'm not into bondage.

Still going....

31. Depends on my mood, but if you get to know me and pay attention, you'll find out quickly. Kissing is always a great place to start.

32. Nothing. If you're snooping in my room, that's on you. You can't unsee things 🤷‍♀️🤣

33. I prefer to give oral sex rather than receive. Receiving oral is very intimate to me, and I need to trust and care for you a lot. But I'll suck your dick in the car on the way to our second date 😬

34. Great question, I haven't been with anyone I've considered too big, but when I went to the sex store.... WTF?! Hard pass on the cock that's bigger than my arm.

35. Never say never. There are a lot of things I'm not interested in, but I might try for the right man, who knows 🤷‍♀️

36. HIM TOUCHING ME

37. Moaning is the best way for me to know I'm doing the right thing. It is sexy as FUCK!! Also makes me horny as fuck!

38. I've had sex several times when I didn't cum, but it was amazing!!

39. I have watched gay porn and I'm not telling you why.

40. I'd rather not disclose how long it's been since I had sex.... but it's been a hot minute.

Are we done yet?

41. In case it isn't clear yet, yes, I love giving head. Pleasing him makes me feel sexy.

42. I have a lot of sex toys. I probably started getting sex toys about 10 years ago to spice things up.

43. Yeah, I watch porn sometimes.

44. My parents were divorced growing up, so... no. And no.

45. I guess I'm old enough to know that we haven't always been "parents." We were all young once.

46. A spontaneous smack on the ass during sex? Hell yeah!! A bend me over your knee like a 5 year old "spanking"? Fuck off

47. Oh I'm definitely NOT telling!

48. My sexual fantasy is to be loved for who I am. The sexual fantasies I would make come true for that man are UNREAL!

49. Wait... I can only choose one? All of the above!

50. Period sex is ok, as long as it's in the shower. Lol.

Well, if you're still with me, you should give yourself a 🌟. That's TMI, for sure!

[logan-lieutenant]

pierresteban: amnesia pt. 3

<-pt. 2

Pierre’s performance for the rest of the season is abysmal because he just can’t focus. He’s constantly thinking about Esteban, Esteban the kid he used to know who was his best friend and who he trusted/cared for more than anyone else in the world… Esteban his archenemy, his estranged teammate who made his blood boil without even talking to him… and Esteban now. Barely able to walk or breathe let alone race and completely unable to remember the last decade. Even everything before that is shadowy, only hints of faces and events that may or may not have happened. His mind is trying to fill in the gaps but then he’s developing false memories from trying to make sense of it all and that’s no good He can recognize things for a split second– a song, a texture, someone’s silhouette– but he never knows where he recognizes it from. His whole life is deja vu.

Pierre tortures himself night and day thinking about this and regretting so much, regretting that their relationship only exists in his memory and how he ha to ruin it all, he could’ve worked harder to preserve things between them or cherish Esteban for who he was but instead he was selfish and short-sighted and would never understand what he was giving up. He’s basically mourning for Esteban as if he’s died because he’s already assumed they’ll never see each other again but then as the season comes to a close Esteban starts visiting the tracks.

It’s part of his occupational/rehabilitation therapy, to be surrounded by things in his life that he’s forgotten in hopes that the memory will resurface. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. He’s allowed to talk to his old friends and team members, but it’s awkward and uncomfortable immediately. He can’t be in loud spaces for too long and he can’t focus on conversations with more than two people, and hearing people talk about events in the past that are clear and simple in their minds makes him frustrated and jealous that he can’t do the same. So excluding the actual treatment team who are trying to help him, he’s pretty much alone.

But Pierre can’t help himself from being drawn to Esteban, even if he doesn’t know what to say, even if he’s sometimes just creepily staring at him from across a room. But the thing is: even though everything’s changed, there’s one particular change that is making Pierre lose his mind. It’s in the way Esteban looks at him. Not as an enemy, a competitor, a rival, someone who’s long earned his disgust and anger. Esteban doesn’t remember why they fell apart or even that they fell apart. Instead he’s looking at Pierre like they’re 14 again, like Pierre hung the moon and the stars in the sky, like the world will always be made for just the two of them. And Pierre looks back and is so overwhelmed with nostalgia and confusion and longing that he can’t stay away even if he knows it’ll be more complicated if he doesn’t.

So he starts talking to Esteban, and he’s the only one out of the whole F1 community who talks like they’re complete strangers– he does it because he doesn’t know what approach he should take and he’s too anxious to make a decision but it works. Esteban doesn’t have to feel guilty for not being the person everyone wants him to be, he doesn’t have to try and catch up with the memories everyone else has of the person he used to be before the amnesia. He doesn’t feel self conscious asking about things because Pierre answers his questions easily and kindly, without a hint of, “You’ve forgotten that?” or “Jesus, you really hit your head, huh?” Because Pierre is realizing that this is his chance to start over, to be someone else, to be the person Esteban needs instead of the one to push him away.

And then the season ends– way too quickly. Pierre goes back to his home in Milan feeling detached and untethered and completely at a loss for what to do next, because when Esteban was in his life he was living day-by-day and now he has seemingly endless unstructured time. He and Esteban have each other’s contact info but Esteban was bad at texting before the incident and now he might as well not have a phone with how unresponsive he is. So they start drifting apart almost immediately and Pierre has plenty of time to beat himself up because what was he even thinking, was he really trying to rewrite the past just so he could get the ending he wanted this time and was that even fair to Esteban and why does he let people into his heart so easily–

And then he gets a call in the middle of the night from Esteban.

->pt. 4

[disneyautistic]

just kind of pouring my thoughts out into nothing at this point. I’m not really sure where else to put this and I don’t want to get super dark, but I wanna make one of those post where I talk about my thoughts and my feelings??

Anyway. I had a discussion with my aunt where I told her that I was having a hard time making friends and then I finished my first year of college and I really only made three friends and I lived with all of them and the fourth one doesn’t even count because it’s my roommates friend.

I wonder when will I be able to make my friends when do I stop piggybacking off of other peoples friends?

Do I have any friends who are actually friends with me because they want to be? I think I do but I’m never really sure and that’s the problem.

I have one really cool friend who I’ve been friends with for 14 years. And that’s a really long time to be friends with someone. Does he have someone wants to be friends with more? I know she’s his best friend and he’s her best friend. is he more friends with her than he’s friends with me? do I matter as much?

my aunt told me I cannot go around asking ppl “do you guys want to be friends” because that’s not right and she couldn’t put her finger on why and I can’t either. Just know if someone asked me that it would be weird and awkward and I think I am just all weird and awkward all the time.

I think I outgrow my friends too all the time. I hang out with them and I just discovered we do not work anymore.

I tried to hang out with a bunch of friends today and really quickly found they had a little patience for me. They don’t hate me. They just don’t really like me either. Not the way they used to. I feel like a stuffed animal put on a shelf or put on the floor.

the stuffed animals that move out of your bed and put on the floor because there’s just not enough room on the bed for you to be able to comfortably sleep at night . And maybe this is why all the time I’m just not quite sure where the line between friend and acquaintances because it’s never been really very clear to me . My whole life I thought I was great at my friends, but I think I’m great at being friends with one person for a short amount of time and not putting a lot of effort into making more friends

I think a lot of times I feel very fragile and misunderstood and I don’t really know what to do about that . I don’t wanna change who I am or what I like or what hurts me and what doesn’t I don’t really know how to do that .

I like myself a lot I really do . I like being who I like being gentle. I like being someone who has a strong sense justice and I like being able to see humanity in all things.

I just don’t think lot of people do. I feel like I was destined for a lot more than what I’m doing. I feel like every person I hang out with doesn’t understand the world the way I do.

Maybe I am autistic, I’ve just never felt so alone for it.

I have a lot more to think about, but that’s all I have right now.

[klein3ngl]

Hello :D do you have any p1 Dude headcanons?

hi hi.

oh boy, I thought I had a few, but after I sat down to write them just realized I might have a bit too much more than what I’ve expected, haha.

POSTAL 1 DUDE; headcanons

first of all! some headcanons make reference of how he was before the first game, so trying to apply them to the guy who’s terrified, sitting on the floor while hugging his gun would be pretty useless

also, if instead of a hyphen there’s a star it’s to address DID in Dude (I don’t have DID myself and I’m not close to somebody who has DID, all I know is from research I’ve done myself, so if there’s something wrong please tell me.

if you’re not into the DID idea just ignore the stars.

anyway, here we go:

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

— Before what happened in 1997 I think he was still a disaster, but a bit more functional.

I’m not gonna dig a lot into how he was while growing up, but he’s an only child that comes from a christian yet dysfunctional family, so after he finally had enough saved money and the legal age he moved to another city (not Paradise) to start again and never looked back, probably with a bit of help coming from Uncle Dave, the only family member that cared about him.

★ P2’s been with him since he was a kid/pre-teen. P1 doesn’t really knows who or what P2 is and at first is pretty much afraid, thinking he’s a demon of some kind. But after a while and seeing how he stands up for him (when he’s unable to defend himself, make friends, etc) and he’s not really trying to harm him he relaxes for a bit.

— He’s always been pretty much a loner, but not to the point to isolate himself completely. He had a tiny group of friends who were also as “weird” as he was who were also into the alternative/goth subculture. Those were probably the best years of his life.

But still, following the last point, I also think he’s one of those people that when they feel bad they isolate themselves for some time and then come back like nothing happened. It usually worked, until it didn’t.

— I have no idea of where I readed I don’t know if it was the Wiki, TV Tropes, in a reddit comment or somewhere else but I think that during the development of “Postal” the Postal Dude was around 27 years old. I don’t know if it’s true, but I’ll go with that.

And, to add some more flavor, I don’t remember if it was Tumblr or Reddit, but somebody had the headcanon that the 14 of November, the day the first game begins, it’s also the Postal Dude’s birthday.

I can’t remember who had such a good idea but I love it way too much, I love angst with all my heart so now it’s my headcanon too.

(if I see the original headcanon again I’ll give credits to the person)

— [ tw // mentions of drugs ] Definitely smokes both cigarettes and weed, but the last one just from time to time. Has tried acid or mushrooms but rather stick to weed.

He hasn’t done crack or anything too heavy, not before 1997.

— He has little to no idea of how to cook. He can do some basic stuff to survive, and he has tried following a recipe in the past, but it’s definitely not his best . Not like he enjoys it either.

— His body: pretty tall. He has a bit of a complex with his height, finding clothes of his size can be complicated and it’s a bit awkward too.

His body is a bit built (he does some work out because of the idea that somebody can attack him at any moment is enough to make him try to learn some self defense alone in his room). Compared to P2 he's has more corporal mass, but not as much as P3 would have. He's an in between. Not skinny but not fat either.

He’s also pretty pale. Not because he can’t get tanned or anything, but because he would rather go out when the sun is already setting or during night or, in general, prefers to stay at his house.

In general he’s one of those people you see on the street and catch your attention: it’s not always that you see a really tall guy with long ginger hair.

— He doesn’t cut his hair because he likes how it looks on him but also because he’s too lazy (and anxious) to go to a hairdresser. He sometimes cuts it himself, and since he has no idea there have been times it ends up disastrous, but since I think his hair is a bit wavy it doesn’t look really bad.

He also doesn’t maintains it really well, he only uses shampoo and, maybe, one of those 3 in one bottles and that’s all. If it’s really cold he dries it with the hairdryer, but rarely does so.

— His handwriting is HORRIBLE. Not like if it’s like hieroglyphics, you can read it, but it’s just really ugly (the diary/war journal entries is how he writes, but since he was pretty stressed and scared it’s a bit more agitated). Also makes too much pressure, not to the point of ripping of the paper but you can feel it on the other face of the sheet surface if you brush it with your hand.

Likes to write for himself, it’s therapeutic and the best way to cope, the less harmful to himself too.

— Following the last point he also likes to make some doodles, especially when bored. Nothing too serious though, the typical thing you do when you’re in class bored and you only have a pen in hand and a paper. You’ll see plenty of them that decorate his notes and diaries. They’re a bit chaotic, his traces being a bit messy.

— If he was accepted in RWS he might have some knowledge about the videogame industry or related. Not sure of what, probably graduated in some studies about it. Maybe a programmer? I dunno.

— Definitely neurodivergent. Either autistic or ADHD. Or both.

His main interests being weapons, movies and videogames. Predilect genres? Terror and horror. He’s not much of a reader though.

On a side note, easily overwhelmed with people he’s not close with touching him (or in general, he’s not opposed to it but would rather if the other person asked for permission) and large crowds, and the main reason he wears he started wearing sunglasses it’s because sensitivity to bright lights.

Still, he’s undiagnosed so he has no clue why he’s like that and why can’t he be normal, sometimes thinking he’s a bit dramatic. His group of friends also had other neurodivergent people who he could rely on so he didn’t feel that bad after all.

— He hated going to clubs for that same reason, even the more alt ones. Too much noise and people. He probably went there because of his friends and enjoyed it for a little while, but would’ve rather been doing anything else.

★ P2 liked it more than him, so when they made plans with their friends he was the one who was in control most part of the time.

— He’s the kind of person that I think would listen to pretty much everything, but definitely his favorite genre is hard rock and metal and its sub-genres: goth metal, black metal, grunge, industrial, you name it. Maybe nu metal it’s not really his thing.

Still, he jams pretty much everything so you could catch him singing a Spicegirls song and he would deny it with his life.

★ It’s in fact P2 who prefers nu metal and wouldn’t care what he’s listening to. Would probably tease P1 about it though.

P2: “You’re listening to Madonna? I thought you didn’t liked pop”

P1: “...shut it”

p2: “Whatever you say edgelord… "LIKE A VIRGIN JUST, LIKE THE VERY FIRST TIME- ♪"”

— He’s bisexual, but still in the closet and pretty deep in there. He has done a few things with other guys but nothing too serious or further than making out probably. Partly because he has some internalized homophobia from the family he comes from (in himself! would never judge or care is one of his close ones was in the queer community) and because generally he sucks at dating.

★ Again, P2 is more open about it than him, and probably the one who had those interactions with other guys, but since P1 was not really uncomfortable with the subject he never went too far.

P2 tried to talk to him about it, but P1 just refuses.

— Also, how did I forgot to mention this? Religious trauma.

Now, he has a weird relationship with his christianity and beliefs, his morals, and how he views himself since he was teached to be a good christian, and he kinda wants to be good at the eyes of God, but at the same time he’s into too many stuff his parents told him they were satanic and bad. He has mixed emotions about it, it’s like he wants to let it go, but he’s unable to do so.

To him the cross he carries around his neck is not for the aesthetic, but he’s not because he’s a good christian either. And when he’s feeling at his worst? It’s like a dog collar, reminding him how all the trauma his family beliefs have harmed him, but at the same time he cannot let it go for some reason. It’s like an abusive relationship both with himself and with his religion, if he even believes in it. It’s complicated to understand? He’s just as confused as you are.

Maybe the problem it’s not the religion itself, maybe it was his family and now because of them he can’t really feel comfortable praying (even if he sometimes finds himself doing so on the nights of rough days) or having a normal relationship with his christianity. Whatever it is, he’s traumatized.

★ And P2 doesn't helps either. He just does not cares about it and when he sees P1 having a breakdown about it, knowing how hard the subject is for him, just prefers to not to get involved, because, anyways, what can he do to help him? He just does not know either, it’s something he has to resolve himself. He cannot help him in everything.

P1 sometimes has called P2 a demon during his attacks, and even if he just ignores it it’s true that it can get annoying after all the times he has tried to help him, and every time they had a fight about it P1 ended up worse, so P2 decided to not get involved any more time for that too.

— I think he’s both shy and introverted, but don’t misinterpret me; not shy in a cute bean who gets all nervous and blushy. No. More in the staring at the person like if he was a deer in front of the lights of a car type of shyness, trying not to get too nervous, and after a few seconds he responds to whatever that person said or asked, hoping it wasn’t too cringy or awkward. He usually gets like that when he’s interested in a person (doesn’t matter if it’s platonic or romantic) and doesn’t want them to get weirded out by him

More introverted than shy, that’s for sure.

— If he’s having a good day his neutral face just looks tired, in his worst I doubt anybody would be able to get to see him because in those days he locks himself in his house and refuses to go out, but if it’s the case (probably the clerk of a shop because he ran out of food) it’s a mix of anger and fear (mainly due paranoia and hallucinations, trying to put and angry face to make the others don’t bother him).

— He could be INFJ (Ni Fe Ti Se) or INTJ (Ni Te Fi Se). If that was the case I think it would be due to Se grip.

I could go more into details because I really enjoy MBTI and see how its functions work on fictional characters.

★ Not the same as P2 of course, but that's a story for another day.

— Pretty much stoic, but on the inside? A mess of emotions he does not know how to untangle correctly. He can get emotional when he’s alone, but that’s a part nobody would ever see of him. He’s not going to let anybody see him in such a vulnerable and weak state.

— Now, returning to the main point. I could really go into details of what or why I think it could have happened for him to literally go postal, but I think the main point is that he moved to Paradise trying to escape from his life. And you may ask “but you said those were the happiest years of his life!” yep, completely, but there can be a few things that alone could have been bad but tolerable, but too many of them make them unbearable: maybe he distanced himself from his friends, had to move somewhere cheaper because of money, his mental health going downhill, etc.

The thing is, he moved to Paradise, and it was probably his worst mistake.

Uncle Dave lived there, that’s why he chose that city, but even with that he had almost no contact with him besides the first few days? He was on his own, alone again.

— Ironically, I think he actually worked for a post office. It’s the only job he could find.

— Both his physical and mental state got way worse. He’s never been a really healthy person, but still tried to take care of himself at least a bit. Going out only when heavily necessary and, after a while, not even going to work anymore. That's when he really ran out of money and got the terrifying letter: he got evicted of his “safe place”. Was his house even a safe place at this point? He couldn’t feel safe anywhere anymore.

He could have called Uncle Dave, but at this point? He was just so disconnected with reality he didn’t know what to do.

★ P2 saw him fall and had no idea of what to do at this point. He was tired of trying to help him so he just ignored. P1 felt so bad that, even if he find P2 annoying at times it was the last thing he needed, the last familiar thing he had disappeared hurts him to the core.

— [ tw // mentions of self-harm ] Even if writing in his journal really helped him to calm down during bad days it doesn’t mean he didn’t do other more harmful things to himself when he was at his worst. Before moving to Paradise he handled it better, he was able to tone it down pretty much since he moved from his parent’s house, but after everything got so overwhelming again? He doesn’t know any better. And the worst part of it? Finds it both comforting and thinks that he deserves all this suffering. For everything. For moving away from his parents, maybe they were right after all. For being a bad christian, God, if he hasn’t done it already, would probably turn his back the day he has to pass Heaven's gates. For after being so happy and having friends and thinking he was getting better and how he throwed all out the windows. It’s all his fault, and he knows it, but he can’t bring himself to do anything, not even therapy, and cannot call his friends. Nothing. The world’s still going on without him. He just feels like when he was a kid, but worse.

★ And here’s where he appears: the Other Dude (to me not the same as P3). He’s shows him his most intrusive thoughts, those who make him feel sick. OD slowly persuaded him to do horrible things not to himself, but the others. He’s twisted and manipulated everything, every little hope he had. P1 confused P2 with OD at this point, and was the one who made P1 get out of his house after a really long time, but with a gun in his hand, ready to kill everybody who made him feel so miserable and worthless. At this point he’s just gone.

At first, ironically, P2 tried to get in the middle of it, a bit confused of what or who OD was. Why he was so similar to himself? How long has he been there? But even OD persuaded him at some point.

Both P1 and P2 were tired of the way they were living and feeling. So why not change it?

I’m not sure who’s the one who got out of the house ready to cause a massacre, if P1, P2 or OD, but the thing is they all agreed at some point.

— I know this is going to be a bit weird, but I don’t think the whole game stages are real? It sounds weird, but let me explain: you really think a guy who has been locked inside his house for so long, having horrible hallucinations, almost no sleep (and if he had any, probably full of nightmares), not taking care of himself is really going to go too far? It does not matter how many weapons he may carry, it’s practically impossible.

Maybe the first 2 or 3 stages, but not much more before the police/militars/whoever it was got him at some point. The others only happened in his head, his mind going ahead of him, overthinking, and lately, his guilt getting over him.

By this I’m not saying he’s less of a horrible person, he did what he did and it’s sickening, it does not matter how bad he was feeling, killing people who have nothing to do with you and your problems is not the answer. Even if they were the cause, it’s not the solution.

— Leaving aside that all the “Postal” games are usually a parodies of real life and black humor (asides from the first game and “Postal Redux”) and taking it for something more serious, I don’t think “Postal Dude” it’s the name of the Postal Dude.

It was a nickname given both by the survivors of the massacre and the media.

— Also, after what he did he was everywhere. In the newspapers, in the TV, in the radio. That’s how Uncle Dave and the group of friends he had back in the city he lived before found out. But how could he? He was such a nice, quiet guy… he wouldn’t hurt a fly!

His group of friends, who since he moved without saying anything, didn’t pick up their calls and in general ignored them and decided it was for the best to just let it be.

Uncle Dave, on the other side he was worried. What the hell happened during all those years they were separated? It couldn’t be something he decided overnight, there had to be something more, right?

— He got his hair shaved at the asylum. After that he didn’t had it that long in his whole life.

— He got locked in the asylum, and being locked in there, alone again with his thoughts, it was dead of him. Metaphorically speaking.

★ P1 went dormant, refusing to think of what he has done, or at least accepted to do. He couldn't take all that blame, it was impossible. Every time he remembers it he wants to puke. He now really want to be dead. There’s no way he can redeem himself from that, God definitely has abandoned him. OD also disappeared. He just provoked all of this and now what? He accomplished what he wanted, where is he? He bring out the worst part of P1, was he trying to corrupt him and breaking him was not in the plan or was the plan breaking him from the start?

Whatever it was left P2 alone, also feeling guilty of what he has done. He does not feel as bad as P1 but he also cannot feel happy as OD probably feels. What they’ve done it’s horrible, but how OD manipulated them to do it? Even worse. Even for P2 whose morality is more gray-ish than P1s.

He hates it, he’s locked in there with the hallucinations and barely speaks to P1 because he’s completely broken and refuses to do so. Now it’s the other way around. He’s growing resentful to him too for that, they’re both cupid, can he at least make him some company? Like he did when P1 was a child too? It’s unfair.

He has something clear though: if OD ever shows his ass again he will NOT let get on him like he did. And even if he’s annoyed at P1, not even him.

— After some time Uncle Dave brings himself to visit him. At first it was so grim. Dude felt so horrible for his actions he couldn’t bring himself to even look at him, but after some more visits, therapy and meds he started to light up a really tiny bit. It was something.

★ It was not really him, P1 was pretty much not wanting to know anything from the external world, it was P2 who decided to take the lead. P1 didn’t wanted to live anymore? Fine, he would take his chance then. To live the life he never could since he’s always been on P1 mind, rarely being the one in control.

Maybe he was pretending, or maybe he genuinely wanted to get better, but the thing was: he wanted to get out of there, if there was a chance to do so, he would try it. At first do what the workers said, and if that didn’t work he would escape. He does not care. He wants to try to live.

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okay I got a bit too carried away- I’m sorry-

hope you liked them! I’m not really skilled nor do I have practice when it comes to creating headcanons about characters even if I have a few ideas.

I’m thinking about posting a few more in a future,, but school work is killing me-