#Downside of this (and reason I never read any of the novels until now) is that I now need to look up what I should read.

[himemiyaaah]

God I got so back into star wars I think I might finally get some of the novels next

[goblinselfshippr]

2/2 of me projecting onto a game and character that really isnt that deep (it is to ME) i think this is way longer than the first sorry. (Part 1 here)

PS- if it isn't clear at this point I'm saying that wizard training causes c-ptsd because that cannot be good for your health. So "Delusion" being a prerequisite to Conjuring (I have no idea if this is a "correct" term, I personally take no offense to it, but lmk if you do, I guess). Some evidence: you can summon minions to help fight with you if you choose- which was the main reason I kept Myth when I took the personality quiz instead of switching to Ice (previously my fave school). Now these minions are common enemies in the game like haunted dolls, trolls, and Cyclops (does that have a plural?? Idk) with one main difference: the ones you summon look different from the actual enemies. Most notable is that the minions aren't as big as the actual enemies. There are slight color differences too, but their height is way more noticeable. Cyclops are usually like 2 players tall, but Cyclops Minions are maybe 1.3 players tall.

And yeah yeah yeah its to differentiate between the spells. Shut up. We are choosing to ignore reality. ANYWAY.

Conjuration is described as "where shadowy forms of thought become real" and "when imagination becomes too fanciful and whimsical these dreams take on life and run loose." SO LIKE. All the Myth bosses and allies must've been somebody's imaginary friends at one time. It would explain why there are bosses or characters with familiar names but don't quite fit their tales- for example, Apollo is a rooster who fucks your shit UP.

Yes I swear we are coming back around to Cyrus, I can't control how my brain categorizes things. There's not a lot said about his family other than they aren't really there. He's left alone from presumably a young age because his father is some big name battlemage, there's zero mention of a mother figure, and his brother would rather play in a graveyard (also convinced Cyrus was afraid of his own shadow as a kid bc I wouldn't put it past Mal to actually summon a demon under his bed). He hides in his room and either paints his daydreams or reads fantasy novels.

Omg he just like me fr except instead of painting I write fanfic that no one ever reads. It’s for my eyes only

From my own experience, you get lonely and bored, and you want friends, but never learn. And his father doesn't sound like the most supportive guy in the world- he seems kind of salty that neither of his kids want to practice Pyromancy like him. So poor Cy was probably just dismissed and ignored and had to go back to his sanctuary.

Cyrus doesn't actually become interested in any sort of spell casting until he's like 18-19, and Mal gets his ass kicked by a Conjurer. Bro really said "damn I can make my daydreams fight for me?" And just did that for the rest of his life, LOL. Wish that were me.

Cyrus is (admittedly) not the best teacher. Like, yeah, he's a dick but most people can think of at least one teacher in their life that everyone called an asshole that they eventually grew to appreciate even if it wasn't personally true. Cyrus, on the other hand, straight up begs you to leave him alone (same). Like the only time he speaks to you is when you irritate him enough or he suddenly remembers you exist. And I'm pretty sure at one point he even tells you he forgot you were in his class. -1000/10 teacher. Problematic fave. I would either hate him or only like him because he leaves me the hell alone. So what is he doing if not dutifully teaching his students?

According to his about page, enjoying the quiet or researching. Doubt. But then, daydreaming until you summon something could likely count as research for Myth. So yeah I think the reason why he's a massive douchebag is because he found a way to profit off his maladaptive daydreaming, and the only downside is he has to tell a couple of kids to scram every now and then. I guess I could have just lead with that. Rip.

[rigelmejo]

So while I’m not fond of Peppa Pig, I do find this discussion interesting. And it did make me go check if I could follow Peppa Pig (I can, easily, I know most of the words if not all - though I’m watching without subs so I might miss a little bit). 

*This is a show that WAS recommended to me, if you want to watch a simple show for kids that’s easy to comprehend - 大头儿子和小头爸爸 (and it is cute, it reminds me a little of Arthur and shows I watched when I was little)  : https://youtu.be/bpO2W9Xaigc

Ok back to Peppa Pig discussion, of all things lol.

So on reddit, someone was discussing how they’d been studying chinese 8 months and still could not understand Peppa Pig. I found the discussion between everyone very interesting. All I really think on my end is like? I also could not understand Peppa Pig (or any shows super well) that early on so it is partly a matter of “you just gotta study chinese for a while.” (The reddit discussion: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChineseLanguage/comments/mk4665/fed_up_with_my_poor_chinese/ )

But also? I am a big believer in “it gets easier the more you practice.” So if you want to do something in a language, try to DO it. And try to keep doing it - because partly yes, you will likely realize you need to learn more words/grammar and the ‘doing’ may just be a catalyst to ‘make you study more’ so that next time you try to DO you know more and its easier. But also, doing it involves building the skills of getting USED to listening, used to recognizing words you studied in a different context, getting used to recognizing and understanding grammar in real time instead of on a delay (like in a textbook when you can slow down and really look at something and figure it out) etc. So partly, how ‘easy’ it is to read or listen has to just do with how often you’ve done it. Have you done it enough that the parts you HAVE studied you can grasp immediately? Or have you done it so little that even things you ‘studied’ don’t click right away - but they might on a rewatch or if you pause and read a subtitle slower, replay a line, etc. The part of the skills you pick up by DOING you really have to just... do to get better.

I found a few responses from people who are years into studying chinese and still find Peppa Pig difficult. And I think in that case, it might be the same situation as my japanese was (studied for 2 years and could still barely read a manga for bare gist). I think partly at that point, lack of understanding has to do with not practicing understanding by Doing. Someone who’s studied a couple years, likely knows a few thousands words+? If they practiced listening or reading regularly for a few months, they’d likely see a TON of improvement. Because they probably ‘learned’ a lot already they just need to develop stronger skills to comprehend what they studied when engaging with shows/audios/novels etc. And if they just ‘wait’ to engage with material until it feels ‘easy’ they may be unnecessarily holding themselves back. Because a major part of ‘why’ it might feel difficult is simply that they don’t practice the skills of USING what they learned. If they practice more, it will get easier. But if they wait to immerse until ‘easy stuff FEELS easy’ when they first try? Then they aren’t challenging themselves nearly as much as they can probably handle...

Like? I’m not that good. I still only kinda comprehend a LOT of things. But that doesn’t stop me from watching chinese dramas I wanna watch in chinese only. And I think a big reason I can comprehend ENOUGH now to follow the plots of shows I wanna watch? Is because when i was 8 months, 10 months, 12 months into learning - i would watch 12 minutes and look up lots of unknown words, or watch an episode and pause to read hard sentences, or make myself watch when i ‘just’ got the gist of an ‘easier’ show and hope that the more i did it the more i’d understand. And somehow, that did work out. (Also it motivated me to keep studying new words in other activities lol, hoping that would make watching easier). Now I’m at a point where i can turn on new shows I want to watch, and watch them, and follow the main gist and pick up some details. Its nice. Its nice and its getting a bit easier each time i do it. And if i had ‘waited’ until ‘easy stuff’ like Peppa Pig was easy? Or until stuff like “Granting You A Dreamlike Life” was easy? I probably would not comprehend this much right now. I tried to watch gyadl like 8 months in and it was pretty rough... even rougher because i only paused a handful of times an episode to make things go faster. But now? When i watch a show ‘about that hard’ that’s mostly slice of life? I can pick up a ton more easily than before. Doing the ‘hard’ thing eventually made it easier. 

So if there’s anything I think about all it, its just... don’t be afraid to challenge yourself sometimes. Sometimes doing hard things makes the ‘easier’ things finally Actually easier. And sometimes waiting until you can ‘understand’ the easy things means just never trying the easy things - when its trying and doing, that will eventually MAKE them doable for you. At least that’s advice to myself ToT I wasted a ton of time in japanese when I didn’t do this, and helped myself a lot in chinese by doing this. I also did it with french even though i wasn’t really aware what i was doing back then.

Some links:

Peppa Pig in mandarin (let me know how much YOU can follow an episode! - if you can... sit through one): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1dhSMSAXxI

Konglongmandarin - a site that teaches mandarin utilizing Peppa Pig episodes. Which, while I do not like that cartoon much, I really appreciate the concept behind this site and its lessons. And I think its a really cool way of making comprehensible input lessons (which I think are a quite easy and Direct way to teach things that click well with my learning style and probably some other peoples’). I am checking the site out currently: https://www.konglongmandarin.com/lessons/

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER IN MANDARIN - its on WeTV! I didn’t know that! It’s all just free to watch so like?!! I guess I’m doing a rewatch! The downside is these have no subs. The upside is I guess it makes good listening practice since you can’t rely on reading skills. Also, if you’ve watched atla before like me, then you likely have enough context already you should be able to follow what’s going on and pick up some new words: https://v.qq.com/x/cover/m0t0ud0mjg6td5t/v00225ojbpd.html

Again 大头儿子和小头爸爸 - its a show that was recommended to me by a language partner, and its good if you want a show for kids to practice comprehensible input with (I find it a lot more nice to watch then peppa pig but that’s just my preference): https://youtu.be/bpO2W9Xaigc

Two Souls in One - a cdrama I’m watching right now, its really good! Its only in chinese subs rn but I imagine youku plans to english sub it since its on youtube. Its magical premise mixed with mundane reality, a lot of fun identity and gender shenanigans. At my comprehension level its reasonably easy to follow - since most of its slice of life or actor-genre lingo. I think for most people who know 1k-2k common words this should be very doable to watch (just like Granting You A Dreamlike Life was doable to watch and follow the gist of). https://youtu.be/zaX2pdVpmUY

[spockandawe]

OH RIGHT, I also have to follow up on The Healer Demands Payment!

Because oh my god, you guys

This is the most fun I’ve had with a cnovel in EONS (by eons, I mean like. a week. I'm an impatient binch). I was just poking idly around on novelupdates, and I tripped across an absolute GEM, and I need to scream about it. Which I already did once before, so I’ll try not to rehash things too-too badly, but I hit the end of the translation and blew through into MTL, because how was I supposed to stop? I’m still not caught up with MTL (not that it matters, since the story is ongoing), but I trust this author to take me good places, and I’m about 99% positive the author is deliberately playing with genre-based storytelling conventions, if a little more subtly than svsss. 

I’m going to get into more spoilers as I go along than I did last time, all things revealed fairly early, but if you’d rather read it cold (a++, do recommend, but not critical for reading pleasure), hit up that post instead of this one. But these first couple paragraphs aren’t super revealing.

The premise!! Meng Qi is a healer. Her first time living her life, she tried to charitably do good and heal the people around her in need. However, like every time she tried to treat a guy, circumstances were such that everyone thought she looked suspicious, credit was given to her shijie, Lu Qingran, and then all the guys went off to moon over Lu Qingran. Meng Qi does her own thing for a while, and even picks up a shizun who she adores, and who is her research partner developing all kinds of revolutionary new medical techniques. When she eventually died (I still don’t know how, but it definitely looks like Lu Qingran was swooning into the arms of the man who did it), Meng Qi was told that Lu Qingran was beloved by the heavens. Then... Meng Qi woke up, age 17 or 18, just as she entered her sect, but with all the theoretical knowledge that she accumulated in her past life.

When our story begins, the first of Lu Qingran’s love interests has just entered the scene. He staggers back to the sect, carrying Lu Qingran, badly poisoned after encountering a magic beast in the woods. Meng Qi knows how to treat him. But she’s also aware that yeah, after she did this last time, she slaved away from a week, and passed out in exhaustion, just in time for Lu Qingran to wake up and say she saw ~someone~ in their sect’s uniform in the forest just before the beast attacked. Meng Qi is all set to be locked in jail for three months until someone gets around, finally, to clearing her name. Meanwhile, clown prime, Chu Fengtian, is busy mooning over Lu Qingran and ignoring all the work she did to save him.

Yeah! She’s not super interested!!!!!!!!!

So she thinks about this for a little while, and decides that the best way to extract herself from any kind of karmic entanglements is to make sure any work she does is just a pure, simple exchange of goods. So... she says she can treat him, and she charges him money. A lot of money.

He’s angry and embarrassed and has to sign an official IOU, her sect is upset with her, but her sect also knows that treating this poison is beyond their capabilities, so they’re like ‘yeah, whatever, humiliate yourself, i guess!’ She doesn’t, because she is a good and clever girl, and as Chu Fengtian’s humiliation fades, he seems to.... gradually realize that Lu Qingran shouldn’t be the object he orbits. Meng Qi charges him money for everything she does for him, all the different pills and such, and he’s, uh. He’s starting to get into it, and I am living.

I won’t lie, whenever I talk about this book I’ve been framing it as accidental findom harem acquisition, and I’m not wrong.

Now, at this point, Meng Qi kind of has a grasp on what Events ought to be transpiring, and is managing along. That gradually fades as the plot progresses, but it’s an early element. She acquires an injured baby tiger she wants to heal, who, uh, is definitely actually a member of a royal demon clan trapped in beast mode (and baby mode). To treat this tiger, she needs expensive-ass medicine. And now, our girl has additional motivation to extort the men around her (mostly) for everything they have. She also accidentally runs into another of Lu Qingran’s eventual love interests, Qin Xiumo, recovering from the aftermath of a failed heavenly tribulation, and in a really bad way. She... can treat him. If he pays :3c

(Lu Qingran almost steals credit for Meng Qi’s work, again, and this is the point where I start to wonder if there’s some kind of.... legit gravitational field around her that’s altering people’s perceptions, because this is a terribly consistent pattern. The Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir had a toxic white lotus of its own, but what she was able to do isn’t the same as Lu Qingran, and the way people eventually break free of orbit around Lu Qingran and realize that things are Strange is fascinating)

And now here is where I was like OHHHHHHH.

Because the moment Chu Fengtian gets Qin Xiumo alone, he’s like ‘right, you and me, we both remember our last lives, right? we remember how lu qingran got us killed? and how meng qi got caught up in that all trying to help us and died too? let’s NOT do that again’

MULTIPLE REINCARNATORS WITH MEMORIES OF THEIR LIVES

And here, I have to copy over this one bit again, because it made me go yeeeee out loud

“Meng Qi.” Qin Xiumo smiled. “You should always remember one thing.” He turned to look at Meng Qi. “If someone betrays and wrongs you in the future, don’t try to talk reason, just kill them.” He paused for a moment, then slowly said, “I know you can do it. As long as you don’t feel soft-hearted.

Qin Xiumo took a step towards Meng Qi. The mountain wind stirred his black robe, but he kept staring at her eyes. With a low whisper, he softly spoke every word. “Including me…if one day I betray you, bring you harm, just kill me without hesitation.”

Okay now

So

Here’s the funny thing

Because Meng Qi was not treated well by any of these love interests before, she’s totally willing to be pleasant with them, but like........... respect? what respect? the two boys out themselves to each other immediately, but they have no clue that meng qi remembers anything, and it’s hilarious. Also they start immediately getting into baby slapfights over who she’s charging more for certain services. Is it that she doesn’t care about you and only wants to talk money with you, or is it that hey, why did she charge you ten times as much for the same service??? The answer is yes. Also, Qin Xiumo offers to repay her with his body almost right away and she’s like No Thank You, and the moment their financial obligations are repaid, she’s like OKAY BYE, and it’s great.

Virtually every major character who’s been added to the party or exists on the outskirts of the party has won me over. Xue Junwen? A treasure. Su Junmo? A++++ gossipy fox bastard, would die for him. Sikong Xing? WONDERFUL fox lesbian, also a treasure, deserves the best girlfriend in the world. Pei Mufeng? BEST BOY, needs to tell me ALL his secrets!!!! Ji Wujiong? Absolute Bastard, my favorite lad, absolute treasure of a terrible man. I love him. And Meng Qi’s mysterious once-shizun is also floating around now, and is WILDLY jealous of who this ““shizun”” that she respects from her past could be.

The story has this balance I really, really like, where all of the major women who have shown up have either been absolutely delightful creatures or fascinating I-can’t-tell-if-they-know-they’re-toxic antagonists, and all the men have been SOME variety of clown. It’s so good.

And I’m speculating so hard about everything that’s happening!!! Why do three human lads appear to remember a past with Meng Qi, while at least two demons who were very involved with her definitely don’t? Meng Qi is getting SUPER good at arrays, but the narrative makes a point about how a ton of knowledge about arrays was lost in both the human and demon realms. So........ tell me more about the devil realm? Why have you told me so little about the devil realm, I’m getting suspicious! What the FUCK did all that internal damage to both Ji Wujiong and Yun Qingyan?? Are those wounds on Ji Wujiong’s face perhaps........... tiger claws? Do they have anything to do with a baby tiger’s injured paw that wouldn’t close until Meng Qi saved up for a ton of medicines? HOW MUCH DOES PEI MUFENG REMEMBER, and did he promise to go to the starfallen sea because of his PAST LIFE remembrances of meng qi? Why is he immune to propaganda lu qingran?

And also, last time I posted, I mentioned the strict stages of cultivation as my biggest downside in the novel. That’s still probably the case, but now, I’m invested. The conceit that Meng Qi’s theoretical knowledge far outstrips her cultivation is a fascinating one, and the story leans into it real, real good. Especially once Ji Wujiong got involved and started teaching her about arrays, and she wasn’t just leaning on rote lessons from the past to get by, it got so interesting. And some of the cultivation trappings that never really clicked for me are much more interesting in the context of a medical cultivation novel, like, I have never once cared what a spiritual sea is, but once it turns out that Ji Wujiong’s internal damage involves damage to his spiritual sea? Yes?? Tell me more?????

I’m genuinely shocked and delighted that I’m so invested in this book, because I only expected it to be a light, casual read from the start. I was looking for something to kill the time, not something to distract me while I’m supposed to be working, but I love it so much. I’m in the middle of wrapping up a story arc and pausing for air before I press on through the mtl, but I’m already planning to loop back to the beginning and read again and look for hints as soon as I finish. This is so GOOD. It was such a surprise how fun it was, but I love it so much!!

[writing-prompts-for-friends]

Notes from Stephen King’s “On Writing” 07: The Revision Process

Next, King walks us through his revision process. He makes it clear that this method is not the only method. It is merely a method. 

How Many Drafts?

“For me, the answer has always been two drafts and a polish (with the advent of word-processing technology, my polishes have become closer to a third draft).”

King admits that this number of drafts is not the golden rule. Kurt Vonnegut rewrote each page of his novels until he got them exactly the way he wanted them. This meant that when the manuscript was finished, the book was finished. (I certainly am not that big of a perfectionist, nor am I that patient lol.)

For beginner writers in particular, King offers the following advice:

“Let me urge that you take your story through at least two drafts; the one you do with the study door closed and the one you do with it open.

“This first draft--the All-Story Draft--should be written with no help (or interference) from anyone else. There may come a point when you want to show what you’re doing to a close friend because you’re proud of what you’re doing or because you’re doubtful about it. My best advice is to resist this impulse. Keep the pressure on; don’t lower it by exposing what you’ve written to the doubt, the praise, or even the well-meaning questions of someone from the Outside World. Let your hope of success (and your fear of failure) carry you on, difficult as that can be. There’ll be time to show off what you’ve done when you finish...but even after finishing I think you must be cautious and give yourself a chance to think while the story is still like a field of freshly fallen snow, absent of any tracks save your own.”

Basically, King just wants you to get it all out onto the paper, with no external forces influencing you (for better or for worse). Just get that first draft out, and then open it up for closer examination both to yourself and others.

Let It Breathe and Then Dig In!

Okay, so you finished writing the first draft! Celebrate! Rejoice! Maybe cry!

...And then throw that manuscript into a drawer, lock it up tight, and don’t look at it for a minimum of six weeks. And in the meantime, do something totally unrelated to what you wrote. Get into knitting. Write a short story that is nothing like what you just finished. It’s consumed you for months now--so give your mind and imagination some time to reset and chill. 

King recommends a minimum of six weeks, but even longer is okay. Resist all temptation to peek at it. And once the six weeks have passed, do the following:

“Take your manuscript out of the drawer. If it looks like an alien relic bought at a junk-shop or a yard sale where you can hardly remember stopping, you’re ready. Sit down with your door shut, a pencil in your hand, and a legal pad by your side. Then read your manuscript over.

“Do it all in one sitting, if possible. Make all the notes you want, but concentrate on the mundane housekeeping jobs, like fixing misspellings and picking up inconsistencies. There’ll be plenty; only God gets it right the first time and only a slob says, ‘oh well, let it go, that’s what copyeditors are for.’

“If you’ve never done it before, you’ll find reading your book over after a six-week layover to be a strange, often exhilarating experience. It’s yours, you’ll recognize it as yours, even be able to remember what tune was on the stereo when you wrote certain lines, and yet it will also be like reading the work of someone else, a soul-twin, perhaps. This is the way it should be, the reason you waited. It’s always easier to kill someone else’s darlings than it is to kill your own.”

You’ll also be on the lookout for any glaring holes in the plot or character development. And if you spot any of these big holes, you are forbidden from feeling depressed about them. Don’t be hard on yourself. Everybody makes mistakes, and they can all be fixed. 

Generally King goes through the first reading fixing all the superficial issues, like typos and unclear antecedents. But as he’s doing that, he’s also asking himself the Big Questions:

Is this story coherent? 

If it is, what will turn coherence into a song?

What are the recurring elements?

Do they entwine and make a theme?

What’s it all about?

“Most of all, I’m looking for what I meant, because in the second draft I’ll want to add scenes and incidents that reinforce that meaning. I’ll also want to delete stuff that goes in other directions. There’s apt to be a lot of that stuff, especially near the beginning of a story, when I have a tendency to flail.”

I can understand what King is saying here about the flailing at the beginning. Because I do not plot when I write, I have ideas that crop up halfway through that would require being introduced earlier, for example. Or perhaps as my understanding of the characters evolved as I wrote more, I realize that they behaved out-of-character earlier on. This is certainly one downside to not plotting. But isn’t is also kinda liberating to be able to take detours and wind up at a different but equally interesting destination?

Okay. So go ahead and fix all of the issues you found, and your first revision is complete.

Second Opinions and the Second Revision

“Do all opinions weigh the same? Not for me.”

Now you’re done with the first draft. You’ve patched over any plot holes and smoothed out those typos and grammar mistakes. You’ve polished the symbols and themes until they shine.

Once this is done, King gives a copy of work to his wife and several close friends (4-8) to receive detailed feedback. In other words, he has several close friends beta for him. 

“Many writing texts caution against asking friends to read your stuff, suggesting you’re not apt to get a very unbiased opinion from folks who’ve eaten dinner at your house and sent their kids over to play with your kids in your backyard. 

“The idea has some validity, but I don’t think an unbiased opinion is exactly what I’m looking for. And I believe that most people smart enough to read a novel are also tactful enough to find a gentler mode of expression than ‘This sucks.’ Besides, if you really did write a stinker, wouldn’t you rather hear the news from a friend while the entire edition consists of a half-dozen Xerox copies?”

What he gets back is 4-8 very detailed and different analyses of what he wrote. What’s very important to remember is that every reader looks at a work through a different lens. If half of them say a character’s portrayal is far-fetched but the other half say the opposite, than their feedback regarding that point has balanced out. However, if the majority of them say that something doesn’t work, then King goes back and sees if he can improve it. 

Also, different readers pick up on different details. This is the age of internet and now we are able to check facts whenever we like, but it is still nice to have something of a subject matter expert on hand, because they are liable to pick up on details that the writer may not. 

For example, I often beta fanfiction for anime. I am fluent in Japanese, live in Japan, and have studied Japanese culture and history. While I would never claim to be a “subject matter expert” on Japan, I am able to make certain corrections regarding, say, the type of kimono a character should be wearing, that the writer would not have considered. 

It’s very easy to accept feedback that deals with facts (i.e. a beta corrects you on the standard procedures for CPR). However, it’s much harder to handle subjective feedback (i.e. “The ending felt inconclusive.”). Having put as much work as you have into creating this, it can feel like a personal attack because this story is a very dear part of you. What do you do if your beta tells you something like this?

“Subjective evaluations are, as I say, a little harder to deal with, but listen: if everyone who reads your book says you have a problem, you’ve got a problem and you better do something about it.

“Plenty of writers resist this idea. They feel that revising a story according to the likes and dislikes of an audience is somehow akin to prostitution. ... But come on, we’re talking about half a dozen people you know and respect. If you ask the right ones, they can tell you a lot.

“Do all opinions weigh the same? Not for me. In the end I listen most closely to [my wife], because she’s the one I write for, the one i want to wow. If you’re writing primarily for one person besides yourself, I advise you pay very close attention to that person’s opinion. And if what you hear makes sense, then make the changes. You can’t let the whole world into your story, but you can let in the ones that matter the most. And you should.”

I think, especially in the age of prolific fanfiction in which the author usually updates as they write the story, the author feels a lot of pressure from their readers. Readers chomping at the bit for the main characters to have a naughty scene, or demanding to know about that one secret thing that you keep alluding to. A lot of fanfic writers struggle to tow the line of “writing a good story based on reader feedback” and “pandering.” 

My advice to fanfic writers out there is to tell those thirsty readers to read a one-shot if they’re looking for a quick fix of smut, and to have some goddamn patience. You’re trying to tell a story, one that builds and progresses, and that takes time. Don’t give in to those “OMG MAKE THEM KISS ALREADY” reviews. But if a lot of readers say something like, “I feel like this character wouldn’t do that,” then perhaps you should re-evaluate that. 

On Pace and Reducing Glut

“Formula: 2nd Draft = 1st Draft - 10%.”

So now you have your first draft done. You have your feedback from your trusted betas. And now you need to go and make the final changes. 

King states that you should rely on your most trusted betas to gauge whether or not your story is paced correctly and if you’ve handled the back story in satisfactory fashion. “Pace” is the speed at which your narrative unfolds. 

”There is a kind of unspoken (hence undefended and unexamined) belief in publishing circles that the most commercially successful stories are novels are fast-paced. I guess the underlying thought is that people have so many things to do today, and are so easily distracted from the printed word, that you’ll lose them unless you become a kind of short-order cook, serving up sizzling burgers, fries, and eggs over easy just as fast as you can. 

“But you can overdo the speed thing. Move too fast and you risk leaving the reader behind, either by confusing or by wearing him/her out. ... I believe each story should be allowed to unfold at its own pace, and that pace is not always double time. Nevertheless, you need to beware--if you slow the pace down too much, even the most patient reader is apt to grow restive.”

So how can you strike a happy medium? Rely on your most trusted betas and their input. King says, “Every story and novel is collapsible to some degree. If you can’t get out ten percent of it while retaining the basic story and flavor, you’re not trying very hard. The effect of judicious cutting is immediate and often amazing. You’ll feel it and your betas will too.”

On backstory, King issues some opinions and advice:

It’s important to get the backstory in as quickly as possible, but it’s also important to do it with some grace.

A reader is more interested in what’s going to happen instead of what already did.

Even when you tell your story in a straightforward manner, you’ll discover you can’t escape at least some backstory. 

“The most important things to remember about backstory are that (a) everyone has a history and (b) most of it isn’t very interesting. Stick to the parts that are, and don’t get carried away with the rest.”

Source: King, Stephen. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft. Hodder, 2012.

[my-major-is-k-howard]

Invisible String

Happy holidays, everyone!! It’s been a while but I thought I would post this as a gift to everyone! I hope you all are staying safe and finding ways to stay positive. You all always brighten my day and I hope this little drabble manages to brighten yours a little more. I hope you all enjoy! 💙💚

Word Count: 4574

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Anne sat on her bed gazing out her window, lost in her thoughts. Her eyes were fixed on the full moon that was rising in the sky, watching it curiously as her mind ran through different scenarios in her head of the moment she would meet her soulmate.

Anne was acutely aware that staying up late and thinking about her soulmate would not make their first meeting come any quicker but it still became a nightly tradition for Anne to stare at the moon and wonder if her soulmate was doing the same thing. 

For a brief moment, Anne broke her staring contest with the moon to look down at her hands. She noticed that she was twirling the red string that was tied to her right pinky around her left index finger, a habit that Anne had formed over the years when she was thinking deeply about something.

Anne tilted her head to the side and smiled happily as she wrapped her physical connection to her soulmate around her finger once more. She thought about the person that was tied to the other end, the only other person that could see the invisible thread besides Anne. Who were they? What hobbies did they have? When was their birthday? Where did they live? Did they think about Anne late at night too?

Anne sighed to herself before checking her clock for the time. Noticing how late it had gotten, Anne reluctantly pulled her blanket over her and laid her head down on her pillow. Unfortunately, she had to be up early the next morning for work which meant she had to grind her daydreaming to halt and catch some sleep. Those thoughts of her soulmate would have to wait until the morning.

~~~

Anne groaned as she rolled over in her bed and tried to muffle the sound of her alarm with her pillow. It worked temporarily until the blaring from her phone grew too loud to ignore. Angrily, Anne threw the covers off of her and reached out to turn off her alarm. 

From there, she slowly got ready for the day, putting a simple outfit together and applying some makeup before getting ready to head to the library. Anne loved working at the library, much to the dismay of her friends who never thought she would enjoy a second of quiet given her generally loud nature. Cleves often joked about how Anne would one day get fired for upsetting her boss by disrupting the peaceful atmosphere with her chaotic tendencies. Anne was determined to prove Cleves wrong. 

Anne actually found the quietness of the library relaxing, especially when taking in the wealth of knowledge lining the shelves. The only downside to working at the library was her grumpy boss that always seemed to be looking for a reason to punish Anne and assign her menial tasks. The last time she had upset her boss, she had been assigned to customer service for the week to deal with the many complaints that were brought to her.  

Anne shook her head and stared at her reflection in her bathroom mirror, appraising her appearance before grabbing her phone and keys. She looked to her clock and silently cursed when she saw that she was roughly ten minutes behind schedule. Not wanting to be late, Anne rushed out of her apartment and onto the street.

As Anne sped walked to the library, she couldn’t help but smile when she noticed her red string leading in the same direction that she was walking. She followed the thread’s path, thinking to herself about how amazing it would be if she finally met the person on the other end of the string. Anne contemplated briefly just following the string until she found her soulmate but quickly shook that thought out of her mind. Her boss would not only fire her if she did that but also probably hire a hitman to take her out silently.

Anne shuddered at the thought as she rounded the corner, finally seeing the entrance to the library loom before her. When she got closer, Anne did a double take as she peered more intently at the doors, not believing her eyes when she noticed a little red string leading into the library.

Anne let out a shocked gasp when she realized her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her and were actually seeing her soulmate thread leading up the steps to the library. Anne all but stumbled up the stairs in excitement, unable to control herself at the thought of finally meeting her soulmate. 

She burst through the doors and smiled widely when she saw the invisible string trail over to the classics section of the library. Anne was about to follow her thread of fate when she regrettably heard her name get called by her extra grumpy-looking boss.

“Anne Boleyn!” her boss shouted, disrupting the peaceful quiet of the library. “Come here now!”

“This could not be worse timing,” Anne spat under her breath as she approached her boss, glancingly longingly to the classics where her red string led.

“Do you want to explain why you are fifteen minutes late?” her boss questioned accusingly while crossing his arms.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I was running behind schedule and didn’t have the chance to catch a cab,” Anne reasoned shooting a glance back at the direction of the classics.

“That’s no excuse,” her boss deadpanned. “You’re lucky I haven’t fired you yet for being such a pathetic excuse of an employee. You’ve earned yourself cataloguing duties today for your unexcused tardiness.”

“Yes, sir,” Anne managed to mumble out through gritted teeth. Her eyes dropped to the red string tied to her pinky. Maybe she could just take a few minutes and find her soulmate without her boss noticing.

“Now, Boleyn. The cataloguing is not going to do itself.” Her boss shut down those hopes in an instant. Anne knew that his focus would be solely on her for the rest of her shift, waiting for her to mess up so he would finally have a reason to fire her.

“Yes, sir,” Anne mumbled and walked in the direction of the cataloguing equipment. Of all the passive-aggressive punishments Anne received, cataloguing was by far her least favorite. On top of being boring, she was secluded from the rest of the library and confined to a small desk in one of the out-of-the-way corners. At least with customer service, Anne had people to interact with, even if they were usually angry moms. Cataloguing was just downright depressing.

As she walked towards the cataloguing desk, Anne shot one last glance towards the classics section. When she realized that the string was no longer leading that way, she stopped and looked around for where her soulmate had gone. Her heart dropped when she saw the string leading out the entrance of the library. Anne had come so close to meeting her soulmate only for her dreams to be crushed in a swift turn of events.

For the rest of her shift, Anne sulked in her desk chair, thinking of what might have been if she had just arrived to work fifteen minutes earlier. Anne didn’t twirl her red thread of fate and think about her soulmate like she usually did during her shifts. Instead she cursed herself for an endless list of reasons that had prevented her from finding her soulmate, possibly forever.

~~~

“Anne, you’ll find your soulmate again!” Kat encouraged Anne from her spot next to her on the couch. “If they checked out a book, they’ll have to return it eventually.”

“But it probably won’t be during my shift,” Anne complained, slumping further into the cushions as she grabbed another cookie from the table in front of her. “And even if it was, my boss will find another way to ruin my life. Again.” Anne took a bite of the cookie angrily.

“Have you tried bringing your boss coffee in the mornings?” Kat asked with a hopeful look on her face. “That sometimes works! In movies, at least.” Kat mumbled the last part under her breath before flashing Anne one of her signature smiles.

“Kitty, I love you for trying to fix my relationship with my evil boss but I could literally fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool with coffee for him and he would still hate me with every fiber of his body,” Anne lamented dramatically.

“Why don’t you just quit if you hate him so much?” Kat asked, clearly confused by Anne’s stubbornness in continuing to work at the library if she was so miserable.

Anne sighed. “Because I really like working at the library. Sure, my boss sucks and makes me do the worst jobs but being surrounded by books from so many perspectives and eras is inspiring. On the same book shelf, there can be a novel written in 1899 by a white woman empowering the independence of women from men and an autobiography by a Muslim woman recounting her activism for female education under the Pakistani Taliban. That’s incredible! And every time I check out a book that someone is reading, I have hope that the knowledge hidden within those pages will be passed on from author to reader.” Anne finished her speech with a huff. As much as she loved working at the library, it still didn’t change the fact that she had missed her only chance at meeting her soulmate.

“Well, I’m sure your soulmate would agree with that. You said they were looking in the classics section, right? That means they’re probably super smart,” Kat said in a light tone, hoping to finally break Anne out of her spell of sadness.

“And I’ll probably never see them again,” Anne replied despondently before looking to Kat with a small smile. “At least I have you. We can just move in together and forget about finding soulmates. Who needs them anyway?”

Kat smiled nervously. “Actually… about that…”

“Don’t tell me that you found your soulmate,” Anne whined and threw her head back in despair. “I’m destined to be alone forever!” 

“No, you’ll find your soulmate eventually!” Kat exclaimed, preventing Anne from getting lost in her depressing thoughts. “I’m sure they’ll show up when you’re not even looking.”

Anne smiled weakly. “Thanks, Kat. I don’t believe you but your faith in me is comforting.”

“Anytime, Anne,” Kat responded, thankful for any victory in cheering Anne up no matter how small. “How about we watch a movie together! I’ll make us some popcorn!”

Anne smiled as she watched Kat run off to put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. She was thankful to have such a kind-hearted person as her cousin. Kat was always there for her when she needed her and comforted her when she was feeling down. Who needed a soulmate when there was someone like Kat in the world?

Kat stayed with Anne for the rest of the day, making sure that she was alright before Anne finally convinced her to go home. After Kat left, Anne started to get ready for bed, determined to get a full night of rest so she didn’t arrive late to work again. She changed into her pajamas and flopped onto her bed, pulling her covers over her. 

Though before Anne closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, she looked out of her window to the moon that was casting its soft light into her room. Anne wondered for a moment how different her life would’ve turned out if she had met her soulmate that morning in the library. She heaved a sigh at the thought and looked down to her red string, twirling it once around her finger before letting it drop. Maybe Kat was right. Maybe her soulmate would show up when she least expected it.

Anne finally let her head drop onto her pillow and closed her eyes, waiting for her dreams to take over. She hoped that they would be pleasant dreams of unicorns and rainbows rather than nightmares of losing her soulmate before she had even found them.

~~~

Anne awoke to the sound of her alarm and immediately threw her covers off of her and slid out of bed. She swiftly turned off her alarm and got ready for the day. After adding a few final touches to her makeup, Anne deemed herself ready to leave with a final glance in the mirror. 

Without missing a beat, Anne scooped up her keys and phone and left her apartment. She was greeted by the warm sunshine as she stepped outside, which brought a small smile to her face. The morning sun always made her walk to the library much more pleasant, putting her in a good mood as she ascended the stairs to the library’s entrance.

However, her good mood immediately evaporated when she saw her boss lingering by the entrance, a scowl appearing on his face as he noticed Anne approaching him.

“Boleyn, you’re early today,” her boss commented as he placed the books he was holding in the return bin next to him.

“Yes, sir. I learned my lesson yesterday,” Anne responded, forcing a smile onto her lips albeit painfully.

“Wonderful,” her boss muttered sarcastically. “You’re shelving books today. And just because you came in early doesn’t mean you get to slack off. You’d better start shelving right away.”

“Yes, sir,” Anne replied, holding back a sigh of relief that she was shelving books instead of cataloguing. Shelving books was actually one of her favorite jobs to do, since she got to see what books had been checked out recently. It was interesting to find out which books were more popular than others and which were diamonds in the rough. Anne had actually found a few lesser known books she had thoroughly enjoyed through this task.

After a few trips around the library placing books back on shelves, Anne came across her first book that belonged in the classics section. It was a compilation of Emily Dickinson poems, a book that Anne was immediately interested in. Anne had always been a huge poetry nerd, loving the aspects of both reading and writing such eloquent poems.

Anne shook her head to clear her thoughts and looked up from the book, searching the bin for a few more books belonging to the classics section of the library before making her way to return them to their spots on the shelves.

As she walked down the aisle to the classics, Anne felt her heart sag in her chest as she remembered how her red string had trailed to this area of the library the day before. Her soulmate had been standing just a few paces away from where Anne was walking now. Anne longed to turn back time to the day before and make this same trip, following her thread of fate to finally see her soulmate for the first time. But instead, Anne was doomed to the reality that she had blown her chance and her wishful thinking changed nothing about how the events had actually unfolded.

Anne sighed to herself, shoulders slumping down as she entered the first aisle to deposit a few books in their place. As Anne bounced bath and forth putting away the classics she was holding, she noticed one person arrive and begin looking around at the selection on the shelves. Anne watched the woman momentarily before sliding another book onto the shelf in front of her.

She was absolutely breathtaking, with her curly brown hair framing the sides of her face and those intelligent-looking eyes intently reading over the titles of the books in front of her. Her lips were pursed tightly together, clearly focused on finding a specific book from the shelf. Her fingers trailed along the spines of the books as she read their names, gingerly touching each one before passing onto the next.

Anne stared at the woman in awe, completely captivated by her every movement. Not only was she jaw-droppingly gorgeous, she was also in the poetry classics section which was a huge win in Anne’s book. After a few moments of admiring her, Anne’s gaze dropped to the final book in her hands, scared that the girl would catch her staring and think she was some creep.

Anne smiled when she noticed that the last book was the collection of Emily Dickinson. She also realized that the location of the book was right around where the pretty woman was scouring the shelves. Anne shot a shy glance in the girl’s direction and noticed something she hadn’t seen the first time she looked at her.

Anne did a quick doubletake and did her best to restrain a loud gasp when she finally realized that the red string tied to the woman’s hand was not a figment of her imagination but actually quite real. And Anne could see it! Anne’s soulmate was standing right in front of her. Anne’s soulmate came back.

Without a second to lose, Anne crossed the distance between them, lingering a couple steps away before clearing her throat. “Excuse me,” Anne whispered out shyly, suddenly becoming very nervous to introduce herself to her soulmate.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” the girl apologized without looking at Anne, shuffling to the side so that Anne could get a better view of the shelf.

“Um, I was actually wanting to… talk to you,” Anne answered as she looked down and shuffled with the book in her hands.

The woman finally looked away from the shelf and turned to Anne with a curious expression on her face. However, the curiosity melted away and was replaced with a look of recognition as the woman’s jaw dropped in shock. “It’s you.”

“It’s… me?” Anne tilted her head in confusion. Anne was certain this was the first time they had met. But then, why did her soulmate recognize her.

“You’re my soulmate,” the girl whispered softly. She lightly twirled the red string that tied them together around her finger and slowly trailed it toward Anne’s end. She stopped about halfway between them before dropping the string and looking back to Anne with a small smile.

“Yeah,” Anne breathed out as she slowly looked up from their red thread of fate. “But, what? How…?” Anne was at a loss for words.

“I saw you yesterday,” her soulmate admitted. “You were talking with your boss. I wanted to say something but I was too nervous to talk to you. And plus your boss didn’t seem that… friendly.”

Anne chuckled. “Yeah, he’s not my biggest fan. I’m just lucky he’s having me shelve books today instead of cataloguing for the rest of eternity.” Anne held up the sole book in her hands so that her soulmate could see it.

The girl laughed as her eyes trailed to the book Anne was holding. Her eyes lit up when she saw the cover. “Hey! That’s the book I was looking for!” She reached out to take the book from Anne and she obliged with a smile. “It wasn’t here yesterday but I wanted to check again today.”

“I’m hoping that wasn’t the only reason you came back,” Anne said with a shy smile, hope glistening in her eyes.

Anne’s soulmate returned her smile with one of her own. “Well, there’s also this really cute librarian that works here. She has the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen in my life and a gorgeous smile that lights up the room. She’s been on my mind since I saw her yesterday, getting yelled at by her boss. Maybe you know her?”

Anne blushed profusely at her soulmate’s words but managed to recover just in time to reply with a quip of her own. “I know her quite well actually. Her name’s Anne Boleyn and she loves reading all sorts of books, which is why she decided to work at a library. I also know that she’s been waiting her entire life to meet her soulmate and she’s happier than she’s ever been in her life right now.”

It was her soulmate’s turn to blush this time. “That’s really sweet, Anne.”

Anne smiled victoriously as she saw her soulmate’s cheeks heat up. “So, can I get your name, love?”

The girl’s eyes widened as her blush deepened, realizing she hadn’t introduced herself yet. “Yes! Sorry! I’m Catherine Parr, but most people call me Cathy.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Cathy,” Anne said, savoring the feeling of her soulmate’s name rolling off her tongue. She could definitely get used to saying it.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too-” Cathy began but was cut off by another voice.

“Anne Boleyn! Stop slacking off and get back shelving books! You’ll be lucky if I don’t fire you after this shift for your misbehavior.” Anne’s boss suddenly appeared in the aisle behind Anne, who turned to see the man standing with his arms crossed and a condescending look on her face.

Before she could apologize, Cathy cut in with her own response. “Oh, I’m sorry, sir! She was just helping me find a book. I didn’t mean to distract her from her job.” Cathy turned her attention back to Anne. “What was that book you were telling me about?”

Anne’s eyes flashed with relief before replying, “It’s a collection of poems from the Harlem Renaissance. It’s one of my favorites.” Anne turned to her boss and ducked her head in apology. “I’ll get right back to shelving books after I find this woman the book I was recommending, sir.”

Her boss grumbled to himself before nodding curtly and walking away. Anne let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding until he left. She looked back to Cathy with a huge smile. “Thank you for that. You probably saved me from a month’s worth of customer service duty.”

Cathy giggled at Anne’s way of thanking her. “You’re welcome! Now, do you want to show me that book on the Harlem Renaissance?”

Anne nodded and quickly led Cathy to the right aisle and pulled out the book. She handed it to Cathy with a grin. “My shift ends in an hour and a half if you want to go somewhere after.” Anne bit her lip nervously, hoping that Cathy wouldn’t reject her.

Much to her relief, Cathy smiled warmly and nodded. “I would love to.”

“Awesome! That’s great!” Anne replied excitedly, staring back at Cathy for a few seconds as they both took in the other as their moment of silence stretched longer.

“You should probably get back to shelving books before your boss yells at you again,” Cathy remarked, breaking the comfortable silence. “I’ll be in the reading section when your shift is over.”

“Yeah! Okay!” Anne stuttered out. “I’ll see you later.” Before Anne could think about what she was doing, she leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Cathy’s cheek, leaving both girls blushing as Anne pulled away. “Bye!”

Cathy bit her lip before breathing out a small “bye” as she watched Anne walk off to continue shelving books.

Anne spent the rest of her shift running back and forth, depositing books back in their places on the shelves. Though, a few times Anne took the long way to her destination just so she could walk by the reading section and take a few moments to watch Cathy read. Anne’s heart fluttered when she noticed that Cathy was now wearing reading glasses. She didn’t know it was even possible but Cathy’s frames made her even cuter to Anne as she read one of Langston Hughes’ poems from the book Anne had picked out for her. 

The final 90 minutes of Anne’s shift passed incredibly slowly, which only made Anne even more excited when it finally ended. She signed out of her shift mere seconds after it ended and sped directly to the table where Cathy was intently reading another poem from the Harlem Renaissance collection. In fact, she was so focused on the page in front of her that she didn’t even notice Anne slide into the seat in front of her.

Anne picked up on this and took a few moments to admire her soulmate. Her heart started beating a little quicker and she felt butterflies erupt in her stomach when it finally sunk in that Cathy was really her soulmate. Anne silently declared herself the luckiest person in the world to have someone like Cathy as a soulmate.

“You are so much more beautiful than I ever could’ve imagined,” Anne blurted out before her eyes widened as she realized she had said that thought out loud. 

Cathy looked up from her book with a little smile. “I could say the same thing.”

Anne ducked her head to hide the color creeping into her cheeks and cleared her throat. “Um, do you like the book so far?” Anne gestured to the poem collection in Cathy’s hands.

“Yeah! It’s amazing!” Cathy responded ecstatically. “You have really good taste in poetry.”

“So do you!” Anne pointed out and glanced at the Emily Dickinson collection lying on the table. “I love Emily Dickinson!”

An annoyed shush caused the couple to jump in their seats. They ducked their heads sheepishly when they realized how loud and disruptive they were being.

“Maybe we should get going now,” Anne suggested.

“Maybe we should,” Cathy agreed.

The two queens got up from the table and made their way hand-in-hand out of the library. Anne shot a quick glance at their intertwined fingers and smiled when she saw the red string hanging below their hands, swinging back and forth as they walked. Anne had spent so many years twirling that red thread by herself, longing to do what Anne was doing in that moment. Longing to hold hands with her soulmate. Longing to smile and laugh with her soulmate. Longing to kiss her soulmate. Longing to build a future with her soulmate.

A rush of emotions overtook Anne for a moment as all of her midnight daydreams came back to mind, suddenly much more vivid and only an arms-reach away. She stopped walking and squeezed Cathy’s hand to get her attention. Cathy turned back to her with concern in her eyes, noticing the near-desperate look on Anne’s face.

“Is everything okay-” Cathy was cut off by a pair of lips being pressed desperately to hers. Cathy smiled into the kiss before melting into the slow rhythm and movement of their lips. Anne tenderly brought her free hand to Cathy’s cheek, slowly caressing it as she pulled away.

“Sorry, I just-” Anne started but was cut off by Cathy.

“Don’t apologize!” Cathy pressed her forehead to Anne’s gently. “I’ve been waiting my whole life to do that.”

Anne blinked slowly as she took a second to treasure the special moment that she had just shared with Cathy. They had just shared their first kiss, the first of many Anne hoped. 

Anne sighed happily and pulled away from Cathy, bringing their intertwined hands up to her lips and pressing a light kiss to the back of Cathy’s. Anne’s eyes darted momentarily to their red thread of fate which was no longer red anymore. A glistening gold had mysteriously replaced the crimson red it was before. 

Anne’s eyes trailed up from the string to meet Cathy’s soft gaze. They both let a grin take over their features before Anne finally broke the silence between them.

“I’ve been waiting my whole life for you.”   

[bettsfic]

Hi Beth can you tell me how you stop subvocalizing when you write. I tried but I never succeeded

do you mean stop subvocalizing when you read? i don’t know how to stop subvocalizing in writing. i’ve never really considered trying it, because i don’t think it would make me write any faster?

anyway, i’m going to assume you mean how to stop subvocalizing when reading. for those who don’t know what subvocalizing is, it’s a holdover habit from learning english by sounding words out phonetically. you probably learned the word “cat” by sounding out each letter and hearing yourself speak it. then when you got old enough, you realized you didn’t have to say the word out loud anymore; you could say it in your head. for many of us, we never stopped learning to read by saying words in our heads. that adds an additional step to reading -- if you stop at every word and speak it internally, it takes a lot more time than just recognizing the word and moving on. in other words, you don’t have to “say” a word in your head in order to derive its meaning. you can just look at it and know what it means.

there are also many readers who naturally dropped that habit, or many readers who never developed it to begin with. some of the research i did treated subvocalizing as an egregious reading sin, but i don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. in fact now that i know how to read without it, i still kind of prefer it in an indulgent kind of way. without subvocalizing, i miss out on the meter and cadence of sentences that i would otherwise be able to mentally hear. both reading a word and hearing it helps retain what i’m reading and store it in long term memory. when i subvocalize, my comprehension is much higher. you could hand me a book i read three years ago and tell me to find a certain line, and i’d probably be able to do it, because i could remember where it is in the book and what part of the page it was on.

however, i used to only read one way, at one speed. it didn’t even occur to me that you could read in different ways, or why you’d want to. even when i subvocalize, i’m not a slow reader, but i’m slower than many writers. i read about 10k an hour, so a novel would take me 8 to 10 hours to read, longer since i check my phone all the time and get distracted too easily. there’s a lot of overlap between hyperlexia and hypergraphia in terms of having a near-religious relationship with words, but a big way to differentiate it is speed and struggle. i write fast and a lot and it feels like my default state of being, but i definitely can’t read fast or a lot (at least, not naturally), even though i’d like to, and most of the time i have to force myself to do it.

one of my major concerns with the phd is that i knew it came with an astronomical amount of reading, and i was afraid i wouldn’t be able to keep up. so i started playing around with apps where you could upload an epub file and it would only show you one word at a time in rapid succession. i tried to read war & peace that way. that method didn’t really work for me for a lot of reasons. one, i like my eyes to be able to move. two, i would miss words if i blinked. three, it was just very stressful. four, there was no way to read physical books that way, and i like reading physical books just as much as i like ebooks.

i went back to google and started reading articles on speed reading. i found out that eye movement is a very important factor. when your eyes move, you actually can’t see anything. it’s only when they stop that you take in information, and your brain automatically puts together what happened between movements. i figured out that my eyes were stopping more or less at every single word on a page. the first thing i did to eliminate subvocalization was to only allow my eyes to stop at the beginning and end of each line, and i was really surprised how easy it was and how much i was able to retain just with that change. 

but i still found myself reading aloud in my head. i tried some visualization exercises, in which, while i read, i was just thinking of a droning noise, like a microwave or something. i tried imagining there was duct tape over my mouth. all of those worked to some degree, but in the end it just took practice and intention. also, when you do the eye-bouncing thing, there’s really no time to subvocalize. your brain registers clusters of words, takes in the info, and you’re forced to move on. it also helped that i named my different reading speeds:

scanning: reading to find something, no focus on comprehension or retaining information. i do this when i’m doing research for a paper, or if i’m working through a boring novel and am only interested in one character. i can “read” an entire book in one sitting with this method, but i wouldn’t have any idea what happened in it. i do subvocalize once i find the thing i’m looking for, but then i stop when i start scanning again. 

skimming: reading to get a general gist of something. i do this for class readings because i only need to know enough to participate in a discussion. this is where i do the eye-bouncing thing i described above. no subvocalizing here. i can read a novel in a couple hours doing this, but it still takes a lot of energy and focus. this type of reading still feels like work to me. 

pleasure reading: this is when i want to read something for fun. full subvocalization, eyes stopping at each word so i can enjoy it and remember it. the downside is that i read so thoroughly the first time that i rarely re-read anything. the only books i’ve ever read twice all the way through are harry potter and the hunger games. until recently i didn’t understand why anyone would read anything twice, when you could just pluck the story from your memory.

close reading: this is reading at the microscopic level, where i pick apart a text sentence by sentence. usually i only do this for editing or teaching purposes, or if i’m specifically trying to figure out how a writer did something. i tend to lose big-picture comprehension with this method, and i can’t read long works this way, only a few thousand words at a time before i burn out. 

i hope this helps! happy reading!

[shippedwithmonsters]

So here for complex backstories tbh.

Share away, if you like.

(Honestly the whole being descended from two separate lines of werewolf mechanisms from different universes is the kind of concept I used to work with all the time back when I first started designing OC’s. My ‘verse is a bit more standardized nowadays, but I’ve still got plenty of the old OC’s hanging around. They’re just not my F/O’s. Said it before but I’m pretty new at Selfshipping. Character design though? I’ve been at that almost a couple decades now.)

Okay, I'm gonna share what I can but there are holes.

Kadan's father started life as a werewolf from a published werewolf romance series (he wasn't a character from it or anything. he's still an OC, his species was just from that series). Later in life, he (the father) became a superpowered god-like entity, able to travel between dimensions. When his kind (god-like entities) reproduces, their offspring get a few interdimensional abilities and they take after the species the person was before becoming such a powerful entity. In this case, a Romance Novel werewolf species.

This god-like entity traveled to another dimension that had a different species of werewolf and had twin children with a woman there. This resulted in the werewolf children being half Original Werewolf and half Romance Novel Werewolf. For whatever reason (who knows why gods do anything they do?), the god-like entity took one of the children, Kadan, from that dimension back to his original dimension and gave Kadan to a werewolf family there.

Kadan was assigned female at birth and was raised in the early 1900's. Werewolf packs, especially ones from this Romance Novel, are pretty shitty to women. They're viewed as their male mate's property, and before that their father's property. And it was worse in the early 1900's (not to say it's much better in the Romance Novel that takes place in 2012 🙃). So Kadan didn't have a very good life in that pack. He was expected to find a mate and be a good little wife for some big macho werewolf. As the daughter of an Alpha (barf), he also was a pretty high value mate (no one knew he was adopted except his parents) because he would supposedly have good DNA for making male children that could eventually become Alpha as well.

I'm using He/Him pronouns for this part part because calling him a her at all here seems gross given the subject matter. Hopefully he doesn't mind too much that I'm not switching up the pronouns in this case...

Anyways, this whole situation sucked. Bad. But to make it worse, remember how I mentioned that offspring of these interdimensional god-like beings have some interdimensional powers themselves? Yeah, well poor Kadan got the gift of sight into other dimensions. It was barely more than some vague dreams at the time, but they were enough to cause trouble.

The Romance Novel werewolves have destined mates, signified when they meat by markings that appear on each other's skin and the ability to read each other's minds. And Kadan, from a very young age, had visions of his mate thanks to his interdimensional visions. And little baby Kadan didn't know any better but to tell people "Hey, I've seen my mate and they're not a boy!"

😬

Well, the very traditional homophobic werewolf pack did NOT handle that great. Of course, they just assumed at first that Kadan was just a confused kid. But it set things in motion...

Kadan did eventually learn to keep his mouth shut about his visions, though he still knew in his heart that he was having visions of his future mate, who was in fact not a boy.

Now, in this werewolf family, Kadan had an adopted brother. The adopted brother was younger than Kadan and didn't know Kadan was adopted. And of course, this brother was in line to take over as Alpha from their father.

Here things get murky in my own writing. The reasons aren't completely clear, but basically their parents died. The way these werewolf work is when one dies, their mate also dies so both their mother and father died at the same time. The adopted brother, perhaps feeling threatened by Kadan for some reason, decided he needed to lock Kadan up.

The brother had enough damning evidence that Kadan was 'dangerous' and 'crazy,' reminding people of Kadan's visions of a mate that *gasp* wasn't a man. When questioned, Kadan couldn't really deny that he still felt the same way. That he still had the visions. And so... the adopted brother was able to convince the pack to keep Kadan locked away.

In order to further keep people certain that Kadan was dangerous (and to prevent Kadan from convincing anyone otherwise), he drugged the food Kadan was fed with an herb that forces werewolves to stay in their wolf form.

And so Kadan was trapped in a dungeon, stuck in the form of a wolf. The Romance Novel werewolf species live hundreds of years and Kadan was down there for one hundred years. Now, while Kadan's physical self was limited in both action and thought, he found he was able to mentally travel between dimensions. During those hundred years, he saw his mate clearer than ever before. He saw many other people, including his biological brother. His mind traveled throughout many many dimensions.

His brother was the Alpha of the pack for most of that time, until a hundred years later another werewolf defeated him and took over that pack. With the new Alpha came a Healer, a person with a magical ability to understand werewolf ailments and cures.

This healer recognized that herbs were being added to Kadan's food to keep him shifted. She made sure no more herbs were given to him and eventually, he was able to become human again.

Except... as he started returning to his own mind, he realized that as a female werewolf, he would still have those same expectations on him that he had before all this happened. He would still be expected to be a male's mate and to do his duty as a female. He couldn't have that! He wouldn't!

When he became human, he somehow was able to make himself appear to be male. The healer, seeing this and her healing abilities giving her the understanding of the situation she needed, used her magic to cause the whole pack to misremember Kadan as having always been a man.

When Kadan recovered somewhat from his time stuck as a wolf, the new Alpha allowed him to join the pack.

But there was a huge downside to being human. His mind was firmly back in his own body. He could no longer travel between worlds and see his mate.

These Romance Novel werewolves have a little quirk, and it's part of why female werewolves are valued so much (in some ways). Werewolves have a darkness in them and their mate is the only one that can keep it from taking over. Werewolves that live too long without finding their destined mates become dangerous and unpredictable. Females are very rare, so it's hard to find mates. Therefore... a lot of werewolves have to be taken care of, as they can never find their mate.

It was never thought of much of an issue for female werewolves. Males were the ones that had the darkness and females were the cure. But Kadan felt it. Kadan could feel the darkness and despair taking over. His ability to see his mate during his imprisonment kept it away, but that was gone. He had no way of seeing his mate every again... unless...

He stayed with the pack for quite a while, but eventually he was transported between dimensions! Perhaps his interdimensional father took pity on him or perhaps it was just the luck of the random dimensional portal (those happen sometimes). But he was brought to his biological brother's dimension.

He met his brother for the first time, though he had seen him many times before during his imprisonment while his mind traveled the worlds. And he was welcomed into the pack. His brother had been raised by their mother and was told that he had a twin, though originally he had been informed that the twin died. (there is a bit more here about how the brother actually met their father and there was a whole big thing but basically the father told the brother that the twin was alive, but didn't mention gender or anything so the brother was perfectly accepting that he had a twin brother).

Kadan remained with his brother for a while, but it didn't stave off the darkness... Only Kadan's mate could do that, but his mate was not in that dimension and he had no idea how to find them...

[aion-rsa]

Do Shadow and Bone & Six of Crows Work as One Story?

https://ift.tt/3dL3rrm

This SHADOW AND BONE feature contains spoilers for Season 1.

Though Netflix’s new fantasy series Shadow and Bone is based on the bestselling Grishaverse novels of author Leigh Bardugo, it’s not a straightforward adaptation of the book series that shares its name. In addition to the Shadow and Bone trilogy, the series also incorporates elements from Six of Crows, a duology that is set in the same world, but focused on a very different set of characters. 

Set two years after the events of Shadow and Bone, Six of Crows is a dramatic heist story set in a different country (Kerch)  and starring a set of characters who really don’t take part in the events of the first trilogy. Until now. Shadow and Bone attempts to create what are essentially prequel storylines for the major characters of Six of Crows: criminal mastermind Kaz Brekker, assassin Inej Ghafa, gunslinger Jesper Fahey, and spy Nina Zenik. 

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How these figures would fit into the series’ existing storyline of the discovery of a legendary  Sun Summoner with the power to destroy the Shadow Fold was a question that every book fan was wondering prior to the series debut. And now that Shadow and Bone is here, it’s time to dig into whether this fusion of these two separate-but-related series worked or not. 

Den of Geek editor Kayti Burt and Den of Geek contributor Lacy Baugher dig into the specifics of the good, the bad, and the somewhere in between when it comes to incorporating the Six of Crows characters into Shadow and Bone. Welcome to our discussion, and feel free to share your own thoughts in the comments below…

Question: Going into this series, what did you think about Netflix’s choice to integrate Six of Crows into Shadow and Bone? Did you think it would work?

Kayti: As someone who has only read the first book in the Shadow and Bone series and neither of the Six of Crows duology, I was intrigued.

As a viewer of adaptation, I tend to hold my opinions until I’ve at least seen the trailer and… well, the first teaser (which is the only trailer I watched before binging the screeners) didn’t give much away. That being said, there’s nothing that frustrates me more than an adaptation that is overly faithful to the plot without being faithful to the tone, characters, and themes of the source material, so I think I am much more tolerant of major plot changes when it comes to adaptation than the average viewer?

Lacy: I will admit that I was extremely apprehensive about it. I mean, I get the impetus to combine both sets of characters into a single story if only to allow Six of Crows fans the chance to see favorites like Kaz and Jesper onscreen. (There are no guarantees that Shadow and Bone would be successful enough to even get a second season, let alone a sequel/spin-off about a completely different cast, after all.) 

But the thing is, Six of Crows is a very different story from Shadow and Bone – from setting and characters, to the time it takes place. (It’s actually set two full years after the events in the final Shadow and Bone novel, Ruin and Rising.) Furthermore, it’s also a very different kind of story. Six of Crows is very much a heist drama and one that’s not concerned so much with things like love triangles or larger Ravkan politics. And the characters are, of necessity, much darker and more morally gray than Alina and her friends. I worried that the two worlds of these stories wouldn’t mesh well, or that there simply wouldn’t be anything for the Six of Crows crew to do. 

Kayti: Yeah, these are such valid concerns! Even as someone who had never read Six of Crows, I knew that these series, while set in the same world, were doing very different things.

Reading your response, Lacy, I also think I saw it as a way to incorporate the more popular Six of Crows material into the slightly less popular Shadow and Bone, which did make me a bit nervous, as it seemed to be a marketing decision more than a story one. That being said, with good storytellers, those two motivations do not have to be mutually exclusive!

Question: Now that you’ve seen the show, what do you think works with the strategy?

Lacy: Shadow and Bone does, I think, pull off the inclusion of the Six of Crows crew fairly well. Much better than I expected it to if I’m honest. 

There are certainly problems – for the first four episodes, it generally feels like the Crows cast exists in an entirely different show that has very little to do with the stuff happening in Os Alta. Shadow and Bone is also generally terrible as a series at drawing any sort of distinctions about what makes life in Kerch different from that in Ravka and how that might have shaped these people.

But the character work is honestly great, and the addition of this Six of Crows prequel plot adds some really interesting layers to Inej and Jesper especially. The show is really clear that the latter obviously has Grisha power in a way that the books are not, and Kit Young steals almost every scene he’s in. (Milo the goat! I cannot! Protect him!) 

I also love the way that the show fleshes out Inej, both in terms of her past and how the overhanging threat of returning to the Menagerie impacts her choices, as well as the way her religious beliefs shape who she is. (There’s something honestly wonderful about the fact that she gets to meet and know Alina, who is – and will become even more fully – revered as a saint by her faith, and I just love that for her.) 

Kayti: I agree! For the first half of the season, I wasn’t sure if it worked, and I do think that has something to do with the weakness of setting in this adaptation. For parallel storylines to work well, they need to have a strong sense of world-building. In that way, even if there aren’t explicit plot or character connections between the two (or more!) storylines, then each storyline still adds something to the other(s) by virtue of telling us something about the larger world they share. Game of Thrones did this famously well, as does The Expanse. In Shadow and Bone, the articulation of setting is one of the adaptation’s weakest elements—the world and its cultures don’t truly feel real or lived in to me—and I think that hurts the integration of these two book series.

That being said, once the characters and plot collide in the second half of the season, this integration works incredibly well for me. I loved the final episode for so many reasons, but one of the big ones was for how integral the Six of Crows characters (or at least Jesper, Inej, and Kaz) felt to this climax—I mean, Inej throws a dagger into The Darkling! By the end of this season, it didn’t matter to me that the world-building didn’t quite work because I was so invested in these characters. (And I loved the Inej/Alina stuff, as well.)  

And then, of course, we have Nina and Matthias off on their own, little subplot, giving me the Jon Snow/Ygritte vibes. Again, this subplot picked up steam for me. At the beginning, I didn’t know why we should care, but these actors really brought their “A” game when it came to their Enemies to Friends to (Almost) Lovers journey, complete with There Is Only One Bed and Huddling For Warmth. I never stood a chance.

Lacy: There is Only One Bed!!! Truly, the best romantic trope there is. Heart eyes emoji.

You’re really right about Shadow and Bone and how it articulates setting. On some level, the fact that the Shadow Fold is the most fully realized location in the show makes a lot of sense – it’s huge, monstrous, and terrifying. But this focus has the downside of making almost everywhere else look and seem exactly the same. (I really would like to know how many viewers didn’t/haven’t yet realized that Kerch is an entirely separate country with different laws about Grisha.)

The utter destruction of the West Ravkan city of Novokribirsk at the end of the season is supposed to be really shocking and underline how depraved the Darkling is, but I don’t think it hits as hard as it should – part of the reason is that the show has plenty of other opportunities to show us the Darkling’s flaws, but it’s also because there’s no real attempt to give West Ravka any real sense of place or identity.

Read more

TV

Shadow and Bone Ending Explained: The Stag, Sun Summoner, and Black Heretic

By Lacy Baugher

TV

Shadow & Bone: Ranking the Ships

By Kayti Burt and 1 other

Question: What do you think doesn’t work?

Kayti: I think that some of the supporting characters from Shadow and Bone get lost in the shuffle here, as does the Ravka world-building, and I think that is partially because we spend so much time with the Six of Crows gang. There’s nothing to say that, even if Six of Crows hadn’t been incorporated into this adaptation, we would have had more Os Alta or that more would have been better. In both the source material and the adaptation, the Os Alta stuff feels perfunctory rather than inspired. I would have loved to see the adaptation breathe new life into it, similar to what they did with Mal in the translation, who is a much fuller character in the Netflix series than he is in the book.

Lacy: Kaz Brekker, unfortunately. I mean, I think part of this is because there are aspects of who Kaz is and what he’s been through that you just can’t find out right now because of the story that’s still to come in Six of Crows and how that all plays into things there. 

This is probably the right decision, but it has the really annoying side effect of making Kaz the least interesting character in Shadow and Bone for me. And if you’ve read the books, you know that’s the furthest thing from the truth. But here, Kaz is basically just a dude with a cool walking stick who’s kind of super into Inej for some reason and hates a man named Pekka Rollins. There’s almost no sense of who he is on his own terms or why he behaves the way he does.

Kayti: As someone who has yet to read Six of Crows, the degree of mystery around Kaz’s character worked for me. The character performance was strong enough that, even though I wanted answers about his backstory now, it felt more in a “I am getting what I need, not what I want” sort of viewing experience—though I get how this could be different if you already know and love his character.

As a non-book reader, I love the tension of not knowing what the heck is up with Kaz because it seems so in line with who he is as a character—jaded, angry, and prone to pushing people away. Of course, if he didn’t have enough sense to be friends (or whatever) with Inej and Jesper, I probably wouldn’t have as much time for his bullshit. The fact that these two seem to vouch for him as a person worth standing by goes a long way for me, and makes his character all the more intriguing. 

Question: Do you foresee any problems with this strategy moving forward?

Lacy: Where do they go from here? The end of Shadow and Bone Season 1 sort of puts all the pieces in place for what feels like it’s about to become the first novel in the Six of Crows series. The Crows gang is on a boat heading back to Ketterdam, Nina is on the same ship with them, clearly about to join their crew with her own Matthias-related agenda. Alina and Mal are heading off on their own journey, which will take them on a completely different path. (Both figuratively and literally speaking.)

Is Shadow and Bone just going to move up the timeline of Six of Crows and put the rest of that story as a sort of B plot to the elements of Siege and Storm that will inevitably drive any Season 2? Season 1 successfully managed to use these characters by basically inventing a backstory for them that wasn’t present anywhere else. (Though it should be noted that Nina’s does come from the books.) I’m not sure that I think they can successfully do that again. But if they do adapt Six of Crows, how does that story fit here – especially if it means they can’t easily cross back into the main narrative? 

I’m nervous, is what I’m saying. But the show has pleasantly surprised me thus far, so I live in hope.

Kayti: As someone who hasn’t read the books, I am blissfully ignorant, though, as our two main groups of characters are heading in different directions (both figuratively and literally, as you say, Lacy), I’m not sure what Season 2 is going to look like. Are these characters going to be in completely different stories? Because that doesn’t sound like the best idea. Or is the world-changing stakes of The Darkling and his pet shadows big enough that it will pull all of our main characters in?

Whatever happens in terms of the Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows division, I am very excited to see Nina and Matthias fully engage with Inej, Jesper, and Kaz. Maybe they will spend Season 2 together, with the events of the Six of Crows plot, and come back together somehow with Alina & co. for Season 3?

Lacy: You know, I actually don’t mind that idea at all – sort of letting everyone be free to do their own specific series-mandated things next season and then come back together again in Season 3. Because I think what bugs me is the idea that we might have been sort of gifted this really nifty blending of the book narratives and then have it taken away with nary a mention again. (I also just really want Nina to meet Alina, sue me.) 

The more I think about it, the more I don’t necessarily see why we couldn’t have some of the Six of Crows plot here – yes, technically it takes place later on, chronologically speaking, but the show itself has already moved up the timeline of Matthias’ impending imprisonment in Hellgate, which is a big initial mission the Crows crew has to sort of undertake. I don’t think he deserves to stay in prison for what is essentially two more books before they get him out. Maybe that’s a place Season 2 can easily start. 

Read more

TV

The World of Shadow and Bone Explained

By Kayti Burt

TV

Shadow and Bone Review: Netflix Adaptation Brings the Magic

By Lacy Baugher

Question: Final thoughts.

Kayti: I can’t get over how well this integration worked for me in the second half of the season. This isn’t Stan Lee popping up as a random member of the First Army; Inej, Kaz, and Jesper are the ones to drive Alina out of the palace, and they get to be a small part of that final fight with The Darkling (while not taking away from Alina’s agency and power in that climax). Then, we get a family campfire at the end of the season that straight-up feels like fanfiction (which coming from me is not a dismissal, but rather the ultimate compliment).

Lacy: I can’t wait to really see Nina incorporated with the rest of the Six of Crows cast. She spends most of this season off in her own storyline, which is necessary and gives us a lot of great moments (Nina + Matthias 4-ever), but I am very much looking forward to seeing her friendship with Inej develop. 

Also, if we’re going to keep the Six of Crows crew around for any sort of Season 2, which I think they’ll want to do to some extent, I really hope we spend some serious time in Ketterdam, exploring what Kerch is like and how it’s different from Ravka and Fjerda. The Ketterdam set looks amazing and we should get some use out of it.

Kayti: Yes to more Kerch! I am hoping that what we saw in Season 1 was just the tip of the iceberg for what they have planned in terms of the culture and world and that Ketterdam feels more lived-in in Season 2. Overall, the season finale definitely left me eager for more. More than after watching the first episode, after watching the eighth episode, I felt like this story was just getting started.

Looking back on this first season, I think one of the reasons why this show works so well is because it isn’t just a “Chosen One” narrative, and I think that is because it incorporates the Six of Crows’ heist-driven structure. The heist is, by its nature, an ensemble story, while the YA “Chosen One” structure is usually a first-person narrative, which doesn’t always translate so well to the screen. In addition to its amazing characters, this multiple POV, non-Chosen One sensibility is the most important thing Six of Crows brings to Shadow and Bone, and I don’t know if the adaptation would work half as well without it.

The post Do Shadow and Bone & Six of Crows Work as One Story? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3dOW6He

[imbruedinfear-a]

@undeadrphub​ asked: ALL OF THEM FOR EZRA

🍍  :    how comfortable is my muse in their body? how do they feel about their height,  weight,  strength,  and body type?  how important is being attractive to them? 

LMAO this man is more than comfortable. he literally models nude sometimes, he has absolutely zero body issues and i envy him for the confidence. he’s super big on appearing attractive, both for work and simply bc he’s a vain little shit, but he doesn’t really care if someone doesn’t find him attractive?? he thinks he’s hot shit and that’s all that matters.

🍅  :    how does my muse feel about plastic  /  cosmetic surgeries   &   procedures?  is it something they have done or would do?  do they mind if others do it? 

not a fan but not against it. he thinks it’s really fucking shit that we live in a world where people deadass think changing their appearance is that important, but he’s not going to talk shit on someone who gets it done. he’s just a fan of liking yourself how you are, really. shrug emoji if ya do it, shrug emoji if ya don’t.

🍏  :    how stable is my muse’s physical health?  do they go for regular or semi-regular checkups by a physician?  do they have any diagnosed illnesses and / or take any medication?  how often do they get sick?

LISTEN. this man is in perfect health physically, he’s got a high metabolism and he exercises regularly. but. fuck doctors. he’ll only go if he’s really fucking sick and thinks he’s dying. yes, he pays his shit out of pocket, because fuck health insurance, they make u got to the doctor. he doesn’t get sick often! but when he does, it lasts for a while.

🍎  :    how stable is my muse’s mental health?  have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they or should they attend therapy? 

f,, fairly stable? diagnosed PTSD and depression, no biggie. he copes really well for the most part, and his trauma doesn’t particularly show unless you’re very aware it’s a symptom. he attends therapy when his depression episode gets really bad, so rly only like three times a year. you basically can’t even tell he’s mentally ill unless you know him really well and are around for a long period of time.

🍑  :    how meticulously does my muse look after their physical appearance?  do they spend a lot of time on their hair,  makeup,  grooming,  and clothing?  is there a particular reason why they do or don’t?  

dEPENDS MY DUDE. yes, boy is conceited. yes, he has depression. we all know what that means!! he’s either paying attention to everything and not leaving the house until he’s perfect or he’s fucking walking outside without pants, no fucks, and without having showered for a week.

🍒  :    how much does my muse value companionship?  do they constantly keep people around them,  or do they prefer to be alone often?  do they have or desire to have many friends?  do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend?  

ehhhh. he’s both extroverted and introverted. he has no problem making friends and he has a lot of them, but he doesn’t really hangout with people. he might go out a couple of times in a month, but he really prefers to be alone. it’s best to think of it as he’ll make new friends very easily and get along with most people, but he doesn’t go out of his way to spend time with anyone else unless he’s invited or really likes them.

🍇  :    how would my muse describe their childhood?  how much has it impacted the person they are now,  or will become as an adult?  around what age did they or will they start to mature,  and why?  do they wish to go back to their days as a child,  or have they embraced adulthood? 

oh honey. childhood was hell. trauma has erased a lot of it, and what little he remembers give him nothing but guilt and deep desire to never ever think of it again. adulthood is where it’s at, bois.

🍐  :    how intelligent is my muse overall?  are they smarter than the average person,  or less than?  are they primarily self-taught,  or did they acquire most of their knowledge in school?  are they more street smart or book smart? 

he’s on the genius end. he literally had nothing to do but read and talk to people as a kid, so he’s pretty fucking rounded out on knowledge. the only downside is he doesn’t really remember facts. he remembers the logic of it. you could ask him if sharks live in sea water and he’s gonna fucking hesitate, but if you ask him if this weird idea you have for a spaceship is possible, he’s gonna give you a fully detailed explanation on why it isn’t, big ass physics words and all. he was raised by drug dealers and his brother was involved in gangs so u can figure out how street smart he is.

🍉  :    which of the four seasons suits my muse best,  and why? 

winter! he’s at his most sad goth. otherwise, autumn, bc he’s a pumpkin spice slut.

🍌  :    is my muse inclined to help others,  or will they only do it when it benefits them,  if at all?  what makes them this way?  has it ever gotten them into trouble,  or inconvenienced them?

will help, even if he sighs first. he just thinks it’s the right thing to do. but also: watching his brother get fucking tortured and not being able to help for 18 years might’ve fuckin done something. he’s been inconvenienced a few times, but never really in trouble.

🍊  :    does my muse desire romance?  is it something they would actively seek out,  or prefer to happen more  ‘  naturally?  ’  what is their love life like?  do they have any exes or past flings,  or crushes? 

wouldn’t u like to know, weatherboy :^) actually he’s a bit of both. he definitely desires romance, and he’ll sometimes actively try dating around, but he mostly prefers the ‘if it happens, it happens’. he’s only truly dated a few women. currently, though, he hesitates on dating big time. in canon, he’s pretty freshly broken up with in a really shitty manner, so he’s just. existing. the thought of catching feelings fills him with dread, but he’s also a dumb fuckin hopeless romantic who instantly is like okay but what if it DOESN’T go terribly this time.

🍓  :    how is my muse typically seen by others?  does it ring true to who they really are?  does their reputation matter to them? 

iiiiiii have no idea. it depends on your personality, because he’s sarcastic and sassy, and some people would consider that as rude and asshole-ish. if you’re in the kink scene, 9.5/10 times you’ll know him as the master of the city’s biggest dungeon ( it’s also connected to a fetish club ), so it’s. accurate. he doesn’t care for his rep tho, it’s not gonna hurt his book sales since he’s anonymous

🥝  :    does my muse have any  ‘  unusual  ’  habits, interests,  and  /  or talents?  do they hide it,  or are they proud of it? 

h m. not really. his only unusual habit would be how much he’ll just drown himself in working, but it’s from trauma, so????? nah. he’s p open about everything anyways.

🍋  :    what kind of diet does my muse have?  do they eat regularly,  or the standard 2-3 meals a day?  do they have to be reminded to eat,  or are they likely to remind others?  do they cook,  or have others cook for them?  do they eat healthily,  or not so much?  

wild. just wild. he can go from deadass vegan to eating 20 chicken wings by himself. no one understands it. if he’s actually working on a new novel, he needs reminded sometimes, but he’s usually the one reminding other people. he’s a big cook, he loves finding and creating new recipes, and he’s usually on the healthier end of things. doesn’t mean he won’t eat an entire fucking cake because he didn’t eat anything else for two days tho. 

🥭  :    how important to my muse is their hometown,  or where they’re from?  are they proud of it,  or considered a hometown hero? did they move away,  or do they wish to?

e h. he doesn’t really care for hometown sentiment, but he does love Chicago. it’s his favorite place just because he’s comfortable, knows it and the people well, and always finds something to do. plus, like, the fetish club is there. ofc he’s gonna have fun. not proud, just doesnt care. moves around when bored.

[lanthimo]

Recently, I have been seeing posts about the lack of fics where Ladybug loves Chat without knowing his identity or because she’s moving on from Adrien. And they are right. So here is a silly, not-very-good one shot... I actually wrote something like this before but... still...

Note: English isn’t my first (or second or third) language, I apologize for every grammar mistake and typo (since I am too lazy for proof-reading)

You can also find this fic on AO3.

Word Count: 2710

Summary: He was always happy to be there for her, wait for her. Today, she was determined to tell him he no longer needed to wait. She was finally willing to meet him halfway. She was ready to give him what he always desired. Her heart and everything that came with it.  

One thing that can be admired by everyone around her was Marinette’s loyalty. She was loyal to a fault. That was known by everyone around her, and most considered this to be one of her great qualities. Yet, there were downsides, too. A part of her obsession with Adrien came from her loyalty. They were never together, she never made any promises to Adrien, yet, she was devoted to him. She wouldn’t even think of another boy for a moment. There was no place for someone else in her heart. At the age of 14, she decided to give her heart to Agreste boy and like every time she made a promise, she was determined to keep it.  

Yet, here she was. Standing behind a column and watching her partner as he was leaning against a gargoyle of Notre Dame, singing softly while waiting for her. Her hands tightened around the thick bricks as she swallowed. Only one step forward and he would know she was there; he was waiting for her for at least 15 minutes now. Still, he didn’t show any annoyance, any impatience. He was always happy to be there for her, wait for her.

Today, she was determined to tell him he no longer needed to wait. She was finally willing to meet him half way. She was ready to give him what he always desired. Her heart and everything that came with it.  

She was only 14 when she fell in love with that gorgeous green-eyed boy in his class. She never considered love before. She never claimed to be in love. She wasn’t even interested in love except silly romance novels and young adult books. Fiction was the only source for these kind of things for her. And when she lay awake at night, she would dream of passionate love stories. But when she met Adrien, it was like a lightning strike. It was fast, earth shattering and suddenly her world was upside down. Her eyes followed him everywhere he went, her thoughts were surrounded by his existence. Her entire being turned into a moon and fell into his orbit. She didn’t stop and think for a second, knowing the intensity of her feelings, she declared her undying love for the green-eyed boy, never hiding her affection for the model from her friends. Thus, she never felt a need to consider other types and forms of love. What else was there? She didn’t think. Because above all, Marinette was happy to be in love with Adrien. She didn’t need Adrien to hold her hand or kiss her to be happy. She dreamed of those things, hoped and yearned for them. But being in love with Adrien was what made her happy. She opened her eyes in the morning and thought of him with a lazy smile on her face. She went to bed with a content smile, thinking only of her first and only love.  

The first time she actually considered Chat Noir as a serious love interest was terrible. Until that night, everything in her life had a label. She was a well-organized girl, keeping everything separated in her mind. She loved her family, Alya was her best friend, she was in love with Adrien. Chat Noir had ‘partner’ and ‘good friend’ labels stuck on him for years. She didn’t question the softness in her own voice, her shining eyes when she talked about him with Alya, Nino and Adrien. She felt affection for both Alya and Nino, Chat was no different in her book. Her affection for him came easily to her. She had a big heart and too much love to share and for a while she was suspicious that, where she received all the love she needed in her life, Chat barely experienced any.  

He was lying in her arms as she waited for her Cure to take his pain away when she felt the biggest desire to lean down and kiss him, to tell him ‘stay with me, my world would go dark without your light’. She didn’t register or question this desire; this need until she was alone in her room in the middle of the night as an ordinary teenage girl that went through another traumatizing experience of witnessing the almost-demise of her partner. She didn’t even think about the awkwardness of this feeling until her eyes met with Adrien’s through his poster. Her beautiful blue eyes widened with sudden realization. She told herself it was normal; she was scared of losing him. She wanted to protect him. She didn’t ever want to see him in pain. And yes, without Chat, her life would be a lot of darker. That didn’t mean much since she felt almost the same way about Alya.  

What scared her was the desire to kiss him that came with the fear of never being able to kiss him if he died. She would never be able to hold him, kiss him, hug him. The fear clutched her heart like an iron grip, she felt selfish for wanting to keep him close to her without promising him anything. Her heart completely belonged to Adrien, after all. She had nothing to offer to him. Yet, she never wanted to see him leave her. And truth to be told, the kiss wouldn’t mean much if it wasn’t followed by more powerful desires. She admitted her partner’s attractiveness a couple of times during her conversations with Alya. She could see why girls would like him. If she only wanted to kiss him because of her teenage hormones found her partner attractive, she could deal with those feelings easily.  

However, there was this burning desire, growing like a dangerous flame, like an ivy that wrapped around her heart before she could realize it. She noticed small things about him, she always did. How bright his smile could be, how messy his shiny blond hair was, his delicate fingers that looked like they belonged to a pianist. His tall, lanky frame. How his vivid green eyes softened when he looked at her. The way his lips formed the softest of smiles when he was talking to her. When he touched her, his fingers almost softly caressed her skin through the costume.  

She buried her face into her pillow, wishing those feelings to go away. She was in love with Adrien, she loved him, they would fall in love, buy a house and live together with their hamsters. Chat Noir could only exist like a friendly figure in this dream. But for some reason, she felt like he cataclysmed this dream, without actually meaning it. She couldn’t even be mad at him; he was always open when it comes to his feelings. He never lied, he never hid, he never misled her. He was an open book. It was her that was confusing, making everything difficult.  

“You don’t have to worry about me,” he told her once, “I love loving you. I am happy, your friendship means everything to me. I can live with this.”

Her heart shattered into million pieces, recognizing her own feelings for Adrien in Chat’s words. Except, Marinette loved the safe place of her love for Adrien, where she admired him from afar without confessing her love to him. When your heart is never broken, it’s easier to be happy after all. For Chat it was different. He was rejected by Ladybug. More than once. And with time, he learned to accept and live with it. Not actually moving on, but he was content with what they had.

Now, she was the one who wasn’t happy with it. Chat made her brave from the first day they met. He gave her power to face the strongest enemies, biggest fears. His presence was like a warm aura wrapped around her, protecting her from every dark thought. With the power he placed in her, she was ready to shatter the walls of her safe space for once. She was ready to tackle, understand, question and act on her feelings. But a part of her was wary. This was Chat. The boy who loved her unconditionally for years. She couldn’t play with his feelings without being 100% sure of her own.  

So, she waited. Until tonight. She watched him. She watched herself. This was the first time she actually dared to consider different types and forms of love. Even if she fell in love with someone after Adrien, she always expected it to be just like her meeting with Adrien. Sudden, striking, strong. But with Chat it was warm, slow, soft. It was like a fuzzy, warm blanket wrapped around her. Where Adrien’s love made her knees go weak, Chat’s love made her heart warm up.  

She wanted to reach forward and run her hands through his messy hair. She wanted to memorize every part of his face, trace the lines of his mask. She wanted to feel the skin of his soft cheeks against her finger tips. She wanted to kiss him slowly, passionately. She wanted him to hug her, hold her close to his chest, feeling the slick surface of his costume against her cheek as she pressed her face against his shoulder. She wanted him to whisper sweet nothings to her like she read in those romance novels. She wanted to bake for him. She wanted him to sing for her like he often did jokingly.  

She wanted all of him.  

His friendship. His love. His support. His silly puns. His pain. His fears. His weaknesses.  

She was no longer 14. She was no longer a child. She knew there were different kinds of love. She knew she could love her partner with all her heart. No fear. No betrayal. No guilt. She knew he wasn’t perfect and that was okay. Neither was she. They were like puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly, completing each other’s shortcomings.  

She made several plans over the year, different ways of confessing to Adrien. All very romantic, over the top and almost poetic. Yet, she had no plan tonight. With Chat, she just couldn’t imagine making all those plans. He was her partner for years. They were always open with each other. They hid nothing if they could help it. So, Marinette decided to be open with him. She wanted to walk there, hold his hand and tell him how her heart yearned for his. She wanted to kiss him, feel his arms wrap around her as she forgets even her name.  

“Girl, Ladybug is totally in love with Chat Noir”, Alya claimed one day, making Marinette almost choke on her smoothie.  

“Why would you say that?” She squeaked, hoping Alya wouldn’t notice her reddened cheeks that mostly appeared around Adrien Agreste before.

“You should have seen them,” Alya explained excitedly, “the last time I saw them, Ladybug couldn’t stop touching that the boy. Most of the time, her hand was on his shoulder or holding his wrist. I swear, her voice softened when she was talking to or about him. She looked at him like—like how you look at Adrien.” Alya chuckled softly. “See, girl, I am an expert at this, thanks to you.”

Then there was the time when they tumbled on the ground and fell on each other. His face was so close to hers; his wide cat-like eyes were hypnotizing and for a moment Ladybug felt a desire to reach forward and press her lips against his. But Chat yelped and pulled away as he apologized fervently. Ladybug looked at his reddened cheeks with an amused expression. They were both a huge mess. Perfect for each other.  

But the moment that really made her aware of her own feelings came a week ago. They were sitting on a rooftop together, watching the streets down below under the full moon. His hair looked almost silver with moonlight, his eyes were shining in the darkness of their hidden place, away from the curious gazes of the citizens that wanted to catch a glance of their heroes.  

“I want you to promise me something.” She said softly, feeling like an emotional mess that night.  

“Anything.” He replied easily. He didn’t hesitate. He didn’t think. And he was genuine. He would do anything for her. She knew it. Her heart burned with a desire to confess then. She wanted him to know that it wasn’t for nothing. That he wasn’t waiting for nothing. She was here. She was with him. And so was her heart.  

She swallowed.

“If... anything happens, you will find me. You will come and find me. Without masks.”

“What?” He looked confused. This wasn’t what he expected. “What kind of thing? What’s going on?”

He looked alarmed. Worry shadowed his handsome features.  

“Nothing.” She smiled softly. “I... I just feel tired. And, I don’t know. I didn’t have a good day.” She turned her blue eyes to him. “I just want you to know that, I am here. With you. Because I want to.”

“Ladybug, is everything alright?” His eyes softened, hand reaching forward to hold her hand. Nothing romantic. Just friends comforting each other. “You can talk to me.”

“I know.” She looked down at the streets, no longer meeting his eyes. “I had a dream I was dying.” She muttered. “My hand slipped. I fell. My transformation dropped before I hit the floor. And my last thought was...” She looked up at him through her lashes, “of you.”

“Me?” Hs eyes widened.

“I thought ‘Chat will never know who I am, who I was’. I was worried you would never know the truth. You would think I ditched you, left all the burden on your shoulders and ran away.” And I want you to know, she thought, I want you to know me. I want you to know I would never leave you. Nothing can keep me away from you. So, if I get lost, come find me, so I can find you, too. So, we can still be Ladybug and Chat Noir, even without the mask. Because I can’t image my life without the boy behind the mask anymore.  

He chuckled.

“Ladybug, come on. You know I would never think that way of you.” His smile softened. “You are the bravest, most selfless person I’ve ever known. I know, if you could, you would take my responsibilities, too. Because that’s who you are.”  

He always spoke of her with admiration coloring his voice. In his eyes, she was the ultimate hero. She was the poster girl of bravery, wisdom, courage.  

She turned her hand in his and wrapped her fingers around his hand. She looked into his eyes.

“I am who I am today, thanks to you.” He opened his mouth to protest but she laughed softly. “If you didn’t stand beside me, if you didn’t encourage me, I wouldn’t be here today.”

“If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here today, too.” He whispered back.  

And she knew. She knew then. This selfless, trusting, charming boy was the one she wanted. The one she needed. It wasn’t hero worship, his feelings for her, he was always there along the way as she stumbled, he witnessed her mistakes, her failures. He knew her in a way that no other people in this planet did. And he loved her.  

And she loved him back.  

She loved him with her entire being, her whole heart that sometimes it scared her. This love felt so delicate in her hands. There were so many obstacles, so many problems, fears... Yet, she never felt a bigger desire to overcome everything in her way.  

She wanted to love Chat. She wanted to love him freely, without the entire world watching them to catch a weakness. She wanted to love him the way he deserved to be loved. Completely and unconditionally.

Finally, she took a step forward. Chat Noir’s head turned toward her and his face immediately lightened up as he noticed her.

A small yet determined smile appeared on Ladybug’s lips. She was ready to take this next step, to confess and accept their love for each other. She feared nothing. No one. Not even Papillon could stand in her way to this boy.

“Hello, Chaton.”

[timeagainreviews]

Thoughts leading up to series 12

Happy holidays, friends! I know, I know. It's been a while. I would love to sit here and say I have been away doing important things, but really I've been hibernating. The results of that awful election, mixed with the holidays had left me feeling a bit lethargic as of late. That being said, I had a nice Christmas. Being an immigrant, I don't see my family on holidays. My boyfriend and I spent the day piecing together a Babylon 5 jigsaw puzzle. I made my pal Gerry a celery for his 5th Doctor cosplay and he gifted me a replica of the Li H'sen Chang poster from "The Talons of Weng-Chiang." It was a very Doctor Who Christmas! Sadly, there was no Doctor Who Christmas episode!

Alas, it hardly matters, as new Doctor Who is mere days away! As I did last year, you can expect weekly coverage for each new episode. I'm looking forward to getting back into the groove of consistent writing. Usually, the fandom is more abuzz when the show is actually airing, so please remember to check in with this blog, as I will be watching along with the rest of you!

If you recall, prior to series eleven, I made a list talking about some of my hopes and expectations for the new TARDIS team and the new production team. Seeing as series twelve is just days away from premiering, I thought I might do it again. Let's get to it, shall we?

The Thirteenth Doctor

Seeing Jodie Whittaker back in the TARDIS for another round of adventures has me massively excited. One of the downsides to Christopher Eccleston's run is that we never really got to see him develop the role of the Ninth Doctor. I'm hoping we'll get to see more aspects of her character. Seeing as I don't expect her to regenerate any time soon, there's still much of her personality left to explore. We've met the friendly adorkable Doctor, now let's see her bend a little.

One of my primary complaints about Jodie Whittaker's portrayal as the Doctor was that I didn't think she got scary. While I love her bravery, running headlong into danger, I would like to see a shade or two of her dark side. Up to this point, she's been too friendly to be scary. I know I'm not the only person with this complaint, so it will be interesting to see what a year of hiatus and refocusing will do for her. Honestly, I hope they don't change her too much, as she's pretty great. I'd just like to see them flesh her out a bit.

Other than her personality, I'm also hoping to see some costume variations. The trailer for the new season does give us Jodie in a bow tie, which I am all for. I've also seen a picture where her trousers are black. I'm hoping they continue to tweak her costume here and there, as watching the Doctor's costume evolve over time has always been one of my favourite things about the show.

Chris Chibnall's return

Was there anyone from series eleven that drew more ire than Chris Chibnall? Sure you got the people who hated Jodie solely because she was a woman, but on the level of legitimate concerns, Chibnall was up there. I myself threw a bit of mud in his direction, and I don't feel as though it was without good cause. The general management of the show seemed a bit aimless, despite many promising elements.

Something about the way series eleven was received gave the BBC pause to reevaluate the show's trajectory, and I have a distinct feeling that Chibnall was at the heart of a lot of it. From his lack of a season-long story arc, to the villains being a bit shit, to an overly dour tone, his first year as showrunner left something to be desired. The fact that we didn't even get a single webisode during this gap year shows me that they're still not 100% sure what to do with Doctor Who.

However, having said this, Chibnall's core TARDIS team is one of the most exciting aspects of series twelve. I can't wait to see more from this great line up of characters. And if the exciting trailer for this new series is anything to go off, we're in for quite a ride. Chibnall's most recent endeavour as showrunner was last year's "Resolution," a much-needed bit of classic Who villainy in the form of a Dalek. I was left feeling optimistic that Chibnall was capable of delivering solid storytelling. And that's the operative word- optimistic. As long as he doesn't get needlessly gritty, I'm cautiously optimistic that this year-long hiatus has yielded positive results.

The Companions

Like many other viewers, my chief complaint about the companions has to be Yaz. She really got shafted on the level of character development last year. When you have someone as talented as Mandip Gill, it's a shame to waste her. I know the fandom was quite vocal about this fact, so I fully expect to see the show give her more time in the spotlight. I don't know anyone who disliked her character, which is a good sign that the fandom wants more of her.

Ryan and Graham were two characters that I felt got a great bit of character development. The moment when Ryan finally calls Graham "granddad," was a truly exciting moment for two characters we had grown to love. The logical next step, at least in my mind, is to test the boundaries of this new relationship. I'd really love to see Graham meet a new love interest. Introducing someone into Graham's life would make Ryan have to broaden his definition of family even further. It might also be a catalyst for his own personal growth.

I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't also see one or more of the companions depart from the TARDIS. My gut says it would be Graham, but I wouldn't be surprised if all three of them left at the end of the series. As much as I love the current companions, I would love to see what energy a new companion or two might do for Jodie's Doctor.

The Villains

Prior to series eleven, I was feeling very optimistic for new Doctor Who. That is until I read an article where Chris Chibnall announced there would be no returning villains. Other than the announcement that Chibnall would be showrunner, nothing had made me more concerned for the show's future than "no returning villains." It's not that returning villains are a must for Doctor Who. It's actually a rather brave thing to attempt. The reason it's brave is that if you're going to leave out classic baddies, you've got to justify your decision by crafting new classics. And I'm sorry, but some Slipknot dude with teeth in his face is not classic.

From what I've seen of the trailer and promotional stills, we're looking at at least three returning creatures from the Whoniverse. We've all seen the picture of Jodie staring down the Judoon. If I am completely honest, those have left me with the least amount of hype, as they weren't ever even full-on villains. I've always found the Judoon slightly hokey, so I could take or leave them. The plus side is that there is still plenty of room to develop them as a species. Are there non-Shadow Proclamation Judoon? Are there evil factions? I'm curious if nothing else.

Another familiar face is the Cybermen. While I feel like both the RTD and Moffat eras used the Cybermen ad nauseam, they're still a classic baddie with a solid track record. It appears they'll have something to do with the finale and that "timeless child," storyline I'm uninterested in, so fine, sure, ok. The real alien species I'm excited for is the Racnoss! Much like the Judoon, the Racnoss are also underdeveloped. I wasn't a big fan of them the first time around, which is why I'm excited for more. I'm curious to see what depth can be found in these campy arachnids. If nothing else, the makeup is fun.

The Guest Actors

Series eleven treated us to a surprisingly tender performance from Lee Mack in "Kerblam!" We got a decent turn by Mark Addy, working with not a lot to go off as the underwritten Paltraki. But without a doubt, the best performance came in the form of Alan Cumming's King James. Not only was he as hilarious as he was loathsome, but he also elevated what could have been a more straightforward performance, by finding that sweet spot of camp and contemptible.

That being said, with actors like Stephen Fry, Lenny Henry, and classic Doctor Who alum Robert Glenister joining the show, I'm hopeful we'll get at least one memorable performance out of the lot. I've not followed many of the ins and outs of the storylines, so I have no idea who anyone is playing other than Goran Višnjić as Nikola Tesla. That being said, the addition of Tesla to the series seems an obvious fit. He was an eccentric man who was a bit weird about his pet bird. I expect his story to be one of the stranger ones we'll enjoy this year, or at least, it had better be.

The BBC's involvement

I'm hoping that in this last year, the BBC weren't just reevaluating Chris Chibnall's direction for the show, but their own involvement as well. They got rid of Bake Off and Formula One, Top Gear's audience followed Clarkson over to Amazon. All that's left are partisan news coverage, QI, Countryfile, and Doctor Who. Oh and I guess "His Dark Materials," but I don't know anyone who's talking about that show. As I said earlier, it's been a year of nothing from Doctor Who as a series. Other than comics and a less than perfect VR game, we've gotten nothing from the Thirteenth Doctor and the fam. Not even a novel or webisode to tide us over. How hard would it have been, while filming series twelve, to shoot a quick little skit on the TARDIS set? The Moffat era did this a lot, and it was always nice to see a little bit of Doctor Who while waiting for more episodes.

As the last vestige of the BBC's once-great television empire, you would think they might start to give a shit about Doctor Who. I know it's a crazy concept, but perhaps shelving one of your best shows for a year wasn't the best option. It would be nice to see them put more money and effort into the show. It would be a welcome sight to see them also put more money into the budget for things like merchandise or extended universe media. We've got three books for the current Doctor and that was last year. David Tennant had over thirty novels, while Matt Smith's Doctor appeared in over 15, and Capaldi only appeared in nine. Do you remember the last time we got a Character Options figure that wasn't a repaint of another figure? The most recent one we got was Harry Sullivan, and I'm pretty sure the only new element to that figure was his head. I've seen previews of the new companion figurines, and they're great, but I want more.

Perhaps I sound a bit spoiled. Many shows never expand beyond their allotted episodes, but this is Doctor Who, a show with a broader reach than your telly. It seemed last year that they were finally giving the show its dues. There were billboards of Jodie's face everywhere. The hype was palpable. Now, it's just four days from series twelve, and I've not even seen a bus ad for the new show. A woman I see out on dog walks was surprised when I told her the show was returning on the first of January. She had no idea. This is the Doctor Who audience that they're failing, not people like me who count the days like an advent calendar. The BBC needs to decide once in for all if they're going to give Doctor Who the respect it deserves, or sell it someone who will.

And that's it for now, friends. I hope you're all just as excited as I am to be back in the blue box. If all goes as planned, I should have a new review up the day after each episode. I'm optimistic that I'll have some great things to say!

[brightbeautifulthings]

Thirst 5: The Sacred Veil by Christopher Pike

"My whole life I have longed to be with Krishna again. Meeting him was the greatest event in my life. It was also a curse. A curse because it kept me looking for him outside myself. Now, in this instant, I know he's inside me."

Year Read: 2013, 2019

Rating: 3/5

About: There are spoilers ahead for Thirst 1-4/The Last Vampire 1-6. After defeating the Telar and the IIC, Sita and her friends are the subjects of a nation-wide manhunt. While trying to lay low, they discover a connection to Sita's past with the Veil of Veronica, a holy artifact that she encountered during WWII when she fought with the French Resistance. She was captured and taken to Auschwitz during that time, but her memory has suffered a major block; she can't remember what she told her captors or how she escaped, except that the veil played a role. With Tarana searching for it, it's more important than ever that they find it, and Sita's lost memories may be the key. Trigger warnings: death, genocide, torture, concentration camps, anti-Semitism, abduction, body horror, severe injury, poisoning, fires, guns, graphic violence, blood, plane crashes, explosions, potentially abusive relationships, threats.

Thoughts: This marks the last of the Thirst buddy read marathon with the darling Roberta from Offbeat YA for the tragic reason that we've run out of Thirst books! Fortunately, Pike is a prolific writer and has many other novels to choose from. This may be least favorite out of the new series so far, but it's possible that anything was going to be a let-down after the thrilling conclusion of The Shadow of Death. I waffled between three and four stars because any TLV book is a good book for me, but ultimately, I think this one has too many problems. Probably the biggest is that it feels like Pike is rehashing a lot of the same ideas from other books in The Sacred Veil. Tarana is still the major villain, but without the threat of the Telar and the IIC, it's not as effective. There are also a lot of throwbacks to Creatures of Forever. In part, I enjoy these because I'm a fan of the original series, but at some point it starts to feel like there isn't much new happening here.

But, of course, there is. The books have gotten more complex since the original Last Vampire novels, and The Sacred Veil is no exception. It ties together not just one but two important historical events in Sita's long life along with the current plot, and her adventures fighting against the Nazis with the French Resistance are some of the most lengthy and well-developed flashbacks we've ever had. I'm not a fan of historical fiction, but putting a sassy blonde vampire in it makes almost anything better. I've always loved the way Pike blends history and spiritualism with the paranormal. There's a heavy dose of science fiction in this novel as well, along with some very cool insights into reincarnation in this book featuring major historical figures. On a horror level, Sita in a concentration camp is gruesome as the series has ever been; of all the horrifying things Pike has written about, the very worst one is true.

The character count has dropped significantly from the beginning of the reboot. It's nice to see Seymour, a long-time favorite, playing a larger role in this book as Sita's conscience and voice of reason, and there's a fascinating new character, Mr. Grey, who's full of mystery. (They also seem to love Sita as much as I do, so I approve.) The rest of the characters I would have been happy to leave behind. It's not clear why Brutran is still involved in this novel, since she serves almost no purpose, and I have attitude about Matt overshadowing Sita's authority in her own books. He edges the line of toxic masculinity, and I wouldn't characterize their weird romance as healthy. There's a disturbing scene where he comes close to striking her, and then they fall into bed together. Nope and nope. I would happily trade him for any one of Sita's past love interests; Ray Riley and Joel Drake would never stand for this.

Pacing-wise, the history is about evenly matched with the present. The downside is that means roughly half the book takes place in the past, and the current plot suffers for it. It's just never as compelling as Sita fighting Nazis, and it barely moves forward until close to the end of the novel. In addition to mirroring Creatures of Forever, this book also calls back the ending of The Shadow of Death, which feels like an unnecessary repetition. However, the ending is tense and well-plotted, and it finally brings forward the character development for Sita that seems to be missing from the rest of the book. Pike is fond of his cliffhangers, and while I didn't enjoy this one for very specific reasons, it's easy to see which way it will go if he happens to continue the series.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching Good Omens (ALL OF IT)

my favourite novel is now my favourite mini-series and IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

under the cut: a very long, spoilery six-episode reaction to MY NEW FAVOURITE THING EVER

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may 31st 07:36pm nz

i posted my episode 1 reaction a couple hours ago but that got ZERO NOTES so i assume people are either avoiding spoilers or aren’t interested, which is fine, but i’m just gonna put all my reactions in one big post so anyone who IS interested doesn’t have to read 6 separate posts c:

edit june 1st 04:08am: btw i watched using a free trial on amazon prime, which i’m pretty sure is worldwide. soooo if yOU WANT TO WATCH THIS, YOU CAN, FOR FREE

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EPISODE 1: In the Beginning

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04:03pm

idk how much i’m gonna type, whether i’ll post a reaction to the entire thing in one post....... or how much i’ll end up watching right now

kinda want to spread it out and save it as a treat for after i’ve done some writing

but right now i wanna watch before writing

so maybe i’ll do one ep, write something, then return to this?

edit: aahhaha that didn’t happen

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04:04pm

I’M SO EXCITED

I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG

well... since 2011 when i first read the book

but regardless it’S BEEN 84 YEARS

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04:05

okay first off i did not know amazon prime did adverts at the start of their videos. so i was like SINCE WHEN WAS CHILDISH GAMBINO/DONALD GLOVER IN GOOD OMENS

and then

yeah

no

either way i thought it was a good opening

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W A R

NING

cool cool cool cool cool

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omg i’m used to where the netflix full-screen button is, and on amazon prime that’s the “next episode” button so i gotta be real careful

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dear god my video quality is TERRIBLE

i.......... i might torrent this show and watch it offline

this is horrendous i can’t see a damn thing

i have never seen pixels this big

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04:11

okay the quality calmed down after a minute

i loooove the intro, i love that it’s basically word for word from the book

i feel like i’d find it funnier if i hadn’t read the book 3 months ago

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also? god is a woman? yes

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04:13

is it just me or does the snek have a slightly david tennant-esque quality about it

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i’m so happy adam and eve are black

-

04:17

omfg. aziraphale said “ineffable” and now CRAWLEY’S CHECKING HIM OUT TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS ANY JUNK

WOW

...or y’know, looking for a flaming sword. SAME FUCKING THING.

-

also i looove how FLUFFY azi is

-

azi: “do hope i didn’t do the wrong thing”

i fucking love them both uhrgughhhuhuhughuhhh

-

04:21

small sob for cuteness

umbella wings

-

04:23

in the opening titles, crowley just stopped a spaceship and aziraphale turned it into fish

i feel like that was a douglas adams reference and i’m on board

-

04:25

the entire time i read the book, up until i saw video promos of this show, i thought “crowley” was said the same way as spn’s “crowley”, as in “crahwlee”

not “crOhwlee”

i definitely like that they’re different though

both probably named after aleister crowley tbh. all of whom are queer.

-

THOSE SWAYING HIPS

i haven’t found david tennant attractive in about 9 years but WHOOOP HELLO AGAIN

somehow attractive for entirely different reasons than before. like. my taste changed but tHEN

-

i’m on crowley’s side, taking down a cellphone network is VERY ANNOYING

-

04:35

crowley: shitshitshitshithsit

:D

i can’t wait for aziraphale’s big swear

-

04:37

i miss eating sushi

sushi was great

-

04:43

this baby delivery thing is sTRESSFUL

“aaaaurthurrrrr”

nooo

poor lady

-

04:45

“little toesie woesies”

where’s the sister mary loquacious fan club and where do i sign up

-

i’m glad they colour-coded the babies and did the playing card explanation because this part of the book always tied my brain in knots

-

05:00

this is reminding me how utterly gross england is

-

“MY POINT IS............. DOLPHINS”

YES

-

05:06

see in the book

i never once realised that the nanny was crowley in disguise

-

05:11

digging the snake tattoo sideburns

-

05:14

and yeah the short hair looks good

-

05:15

fINALLY crowley called azi “angel”

-

05:17

crowley: “oh no no don’t do your magic act, pleeease”

the magic act scene is one of my fave parts of the book <3

-

05:20

aw man they cut out the best part

i mean i get why

the kids shouted a bunch of gay slurs at aziraphale

and there were no secret service people with guns

but aw mannn

AND THEY CUT OUT THE BIT WITH THE DEAD DOVE AND CROWLEY BRINGS IT BACK TO LIFE FOR AZIRAPHALE

THAT WAS MY SINGLE FAVOURITE BIT OF THE BOOK

AND IT’S GONE

;C

-

OH WAIT

THERE’S THE DOVE

OH GOOD

-

aw man aziraphhale just brought it back himself

i liked it better in the book

they sat on the steps outside and crowley comforted azi and took the dove and fixed it for him, and then it flew off

idk i just had such a perfect image of that moment in my mind and this was..... good but not the same at all

could be gayer

-

05:27

good dog

-

05:28

crowley: *snifsnif* something’s changed

aziraphale: “oh it’s a new cologne, my barber suggeste--”

crowley: “no no i know what you smell like”

gayyyyyyyyyy <3

-

05:31

okay that’s ep 1 watched!!! i’ll watch more maybe later tonight :D

ENJOYING THIS SO FAR

not as gay as expected ........YET

needs 400% more “angel” and “dear”

--

EPISODE 2: The Book

07:42pm

pillar of salt guy: “something smells evil”

the fact crowley smells evil and yet aziraphale likes his company regardless says a lot

-

07:49

fully expected crowley to say “i didn’t fall, i sauntered vaguely downwards”

-

07:50

iiiii’m finding the narrator a little annoying

maybe it’s because i read the book so i know what’s going on

but saying “he has four items to deliver in his van. he works for this postage company and he’s making his first delivery in a formal warzone”.... idk i feel like all of those things could be shown visually? saying it rather than showing it probably saved seven seconds of airtime, but damn

-

07:56

i wonder if the narrator was a later addition to this, for new audience clarity? the script for god just seems a little stilted, idk

edit: i kind of got used to it, but it was still jarring, which i’m sure was the opposite of the intended effect

-

08:09

the saddest newt

-

08:13

she’s kind of exactly how i imagined her in the book

and definitely my fave next to aziraphale and crowley

-

08:17

i feel so bad for crowley’s plants

poor babies

-

08:19

for some reason i imagined her as a redhead. kind of more like mrs weasley

-

08:33

these wee children......... so soft.......... so smol

-

08:25

v happy with the casting for pepper

tiny downside is that we lose another redhead

-

08:29

i find the kids’ conversations hilarious because they’re the same age as harry potter when he goes to hogwarts the first time

idk if this is what eleven year olds are like in real life, but when i read the book i did feel distinctly like they spoke like eight year olds

-

08:35

crowley: “i like spooky. big spooky fan, me”

he just sounds like the tenth doctor

-

08:36

YEEE FINALLY CROWLeY DOING NICE THINGS FOR AZIRAPHALE

-

08:48

"you know, crowley, i’ve always said that deep down you really are a--”

“SHUT IT”

DON’T YOU CALL HIM NICE YOU PRETTY BASTARD

-

loquacious: “sorry to break up an intimate moment”

-

08:45

i imagined anathema’s tripod thing to be about 5 feet tall, not a cute little knee-high thing

-

08:48

freddie mercury: BIIIII CYCLE

BIIIIIIII CYCLE

yeah i was waiting for that

-

crowley: “get in, angel”

HE MURMURED

DON’T MURMUR YOUR TERMS OF ENDEARMENT noo

-

09:00

end of episode 2!!! i freaking loved aziraphale vs the book <3

-

the credits for this ep credit konnie huq as someone named pam but idk who that is? i had a crush on konnie huq as a kid when she was a presenter on “blue peter”

OH WAIT RIGHT the lady on the breakfast show on crowley’s tv. aw such a small part. hoping we’ll see her again later

edit: nope. might rewatch that part to pay more attention. obviously i didn’t even recognise her after like.. 15 years

--

EPISODE 3: Hard Times

09:05pm

brb gotta get some food

-

09:14

and now i wait for food

EPISODE THREE LET’S GO

is this the one that’s just crowley and azi’s backstory?

-

09:16

i can’t even put my finger on why but he’s getting more attractive

-

09:21

ah yes

aziraphale is eating shellfish and trying to tempt crowley

“oh... that’s your job”

i love this part of their dynamic

-

09:29

i adore when crowley makes aziraphale smile <3

-

09:43

SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS

YEE

-

i like seeing how crowley’s sunglasses differ throughout history

-

09:36

“if they knew i’d been... fraternising”

this is such a forbidden romance i love ittttt

-

09:49

CROWLEY SAVED THE BOOKS

and SOFT VIOLIN PLAYS

THIS IS A FUCKING LOVE STORY

k this is my favourite part of the show so far <3

-

09:50

this angel just fell in love

right in that moment

i see cartoon hearts around him

-

09:54

just had to pause for a second bc there was some broccoli in my tea :c

-

09:56

awwwwwwwwwwwwww 

he got him holy waterrrrrrr

-

UNIVERSAL ANGLE OF HETEROSEXUAL LONGING

-

definitely feeling a lot of “NOW KISS” right about now

-

09:59

LAUGHING BECAUSE THE OPENING CREDITS ARE LITERALLY HALFWAY INTO THE EPISODE

-

10:03

throughout the entire book azi just came across as the kind of person who wore glasses even though glasses were never once mentioned

I AM GLAD TO SEE GLASSES

-

10:12

i like this colour palette and the gold in their makeup

-

10:27

“we can go off together”

omg the world’s ending and crowley’s all RUN AWAY WITH MEEE

-

10:31

okay then

good eyelashes

edit: i also like how their relationship was explained with a simple tap on the wrist: hurry up, you’re on the clock, i’m a sex worker, finish your call because i’m leaving

-

10:32

episode three DONE

these eps don’t feel long enough

maybe that means the pacing is just right? who knows

i feel like i should be doing something other than watching this but..... why

--

EPISODE 4: Saturday Morning Funtime

10:48pm

aziraphale is SOFT and he’s perfect like that <3

fuck u gabriel and your body shaming

-

10:53

i want delivery guy to be okay BUT I READ THE BOOK

so............... i know he will be...... eventually

-

10:55

how did they get photographs taken in the 1600s

-

oh gabriel’s eyes ARE purple, i thought i was seeing them wrong

-

11:02

“maud i love you”

noo ho hoooo

-

11:09

a little douglas adams, definitely

BUT NO PEPPER POT DALEK

AWW

-

11:10

the season is very much jumping between summer and autumn

though i suppose that’s the point, tadfield is just perfect

-

11:12

“which the internet has begun to refer to as the kracken”

i wonder if good omens inadvertently inspired me to write The Wireless a couple of years back. wouldn’t be surprising

edit: no, couldn’t have, because the internet wasn’t much of a thing (or a thing at all?) in the book, given its publish date

-

11:20

that’s a v nice dress/top combo

gosh she’s so pretty

-

11:30

crowley: “we can run away together!!! alpha centauri!!!”

aw baby

-

crowley: “i’m going home, angel! i’m getting my stuff, and i am leaving. and when i am up in the stars, i won’t even think about you!!”

THAT WAS A V SAD BREAKUP NOOOOO

why has there not been a single “dear” yet :c

-

11:37

oh no, this part

i loved this in the book but i am NOT READY for maggots

damn you gaiman

-

11:39

he’s so cute

and so gay

-

11:42

uriel: “don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses will get you special treatment in hell”

he looks kinda delighted uriel called crowley his boyfriend

i would say he looks worried but this shot was used without context in the trailer and it came across as genuine joy, i actually thought he was looking at crowley

-

11:46

i thought it was a strange throne before

a spider at the centre of a web

dark halo

yeah

-

11:51

oh now she’s a redhead???

-

also i’m glad they implied newt and anathema just kissed because the sex thing was weird in the book

-

okay never mind

hmm

-

12:05

aziraphale: “oh.................ffffUCK.”

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

-

12:07

oh no

it’s happening

oh no

i hate this part but i love what happens because of it

-

12:29am

i have eaten and now i have tea and i am back from MORE BOOKSHOP FIRE

-

EPISODE 5: The Doomsday Option

12:31

nuuuuuuuuuu

and “you’re my best friend” playing while crowley’s tryna call azi

nuuuuuu

-

“somebody killed my best friend”

jfhsdfjsdj

/sobs

-

12:36

freddie mercury: “somebody find me somebody tooo ooo looove”

edit: the narration WRECKED this. it was so dramatic and visually emotional but the voiceover completely screwed with it and it was SO UNNECESSARY.

-

12:46

crowley: “i lost my best friend”

he says, while crying, while talking to that friend

-

THE ONE BOOK HE WANTS IS THE ONE CROWLEY SAVED

THEY’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER

-

azi wanted to share crowley’s body

and then said they had to get a wiggle on

-

12:52

they cut out the hell’s angels / lesser horsemen

i figured they would, but still a shame

-

1:54

in the book tracy’s “spirit guide” was native american but daaaaaamn that part really needed to go

now she’s irish which is... better, probably

-

01:01

ron: “SHUT. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP”

this guy’s having the time of his life

-

01:03

he wave

-

01:05

1926 bentley; sexiest car right next to the ‘67 chevy impala

-

01:08

omg gotta translate and explain the road

-

01:13

OH NO the maggots are about to happen

they changed the placement of this but it worked for the pacing

-

OH NO

-

k well the maggots were gross but not as bad as i imagined

-

01:31

omg the dog turned upside down rather than be picked up

i wonder if that was intentional

dog: I DO NOT WANT UP

-

01:34

pfff he’s reading “american gods” by neil gaiman

-

01:44am

10/10 flaming car

-

EPISODE 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives

01:51am

here we go...

-

01:55

azi so happy that crowley said the dress suits him <3

-

01:57

rip bentley

-

01:59

aziraphale: “we are here to lick some serious butt!!”

crowley: “kick!! kick, aziraphale, for heaven’s sake”

-

02:06

i freaking love the parallel between the Them and the horsemen in the book

and i love that they did face shots to show the parallel

pepper = war

wensleydale = famine

brian = pollution

adam = death

the parallel is less clear for brian and wensleydale, at least in the show. was more obvious in the book. but at the same time i kind of got confused between them a lot, brian was always eating, but wensleydale was named after cheese

-

02:14

pepper: “i do not endorse everyday sexism”

/STOMPS ON WAR’S FOOT

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

-

02:25

shadwell: “anyone who wants ta get ta the hoore of babylon will have to get past me”

earlier anathema said “boyfriend”

may i point out that all the adults are paired up

shadwell & madame tracy

newt & anathema

......and....

aziraphale and crowley

-

0:28

crowley: “we are FUCKED”

these two need a holiday

-

azi: “come up with something... or.... or i’ll never talk to you again”

he knows crowley loves him aww

perfect blackmail material

-

02:32

they went from trying to kill him to being his gay angel parents real quick

-

02:35

thought they were holding hands for a second there

edit: regardless, a whole damn airfield and they’re 2cm apart

-

02:39

happy ending for the postman, hooray~

-

crowley about the bookshop, softly: “it burned down. remember? you can stay at my place”

awwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

-

02:42

CROWLEY GOT HIS CAR BACK AND YET HE TOOK A TAXI

-

02:45

anathema: “why is your car called dick turpin?”

newt: “dick turpin is a famous highwayman. it’s called dick turpin because everywhere it goes, it holds up traffic”

i laughed

this wasn’t in the book and i always wondered

-

02:51

i wonder if holy water wouldn’t burn him because he’s too good

-

03:00

gabriel: “don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine, i’m the angel fucking gabriel”

really enjoying these swears

-

03:03

i thought so

-

03:30am

paused for a bit to get ready for bed

i thought it was after 4am but nope

-

“there would be other summers, but not one like this. not ever again”

that genuinely makes me emotional

i think that’s why it’s my favourite book, i can relive that summer with them

-

03:35

omg

-

OH MY GOD

WAIT

THEY

OH MY GOD

THEY WEREN’T IMMUNE, THEY JUST SWAPPED PLACES

HOLY SHIT

edit: THIS WAS NOT IN THE BOOK AND IT’S BRILLIANT AND I’M GLAD IT’S HERE

-

crowley: “let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?

azi: “~temptation accomplished~!”

THEY’RE SO STINKING CUTE

-

“just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing”

perfect

STILL NO USE OF “DEAR” THOUGH AND IT’S KILLING ME

-

that ending with the bird made me teary-eyed

-

credits: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AS SATAN

WOW

OKAY

AKSFJDSF /snorts

-

the end credits and the song i just wanna bawl my eyes out

i loved this so much and i’m so glad it was GOOD

i loved that they added so many people of colour. in the book i imagined crowley played by alexander siddig (star trek: deep space 9 era) but i guess david tennant makes a pretty good crowley too

i’m trying not to be upset that my favourite scene with the dove and aziraphale’s affectionate use of “dear” was taken out

but 

this was damn good regardless. even gayer in places than in the book

-

this nightingale song is my new favourite song

i never got the reference before

“and as we kissed and said goodnight, an nightingale sang in berkeley square:

GAY

SO GAY

i love

-

the end of the credits “For Terry”

ACTUAL OUT LOUD SOBBING

TERRY YOU WOULD’VE LOVED THIS

NEIL DID YOU PROUD

-

oh this was so beautiful

i’m gonna watch it again with my family probably within the week. i’m so emotionally tender now

azIRAPHALE WAS SO FLUFFY AND CROWLEY WAS SO NICE ABOUT THE BOOKS

ugh i love them more than ever

anathema...... i don’t know if i relate to her, want to be her, look up to her, want her to mentor me, live with her, or find her attractive. maybe all of the above. but she was freaking PERFECT. PE R F E CT 

the casting was so... just right. thank you casting people for anathema.

like... i also didn’t mind the newt/anathema thing so much now. it was hard to tell in the book how much of a relationship they had after, but that smile she gave while lying in bed the morning after, that worked, it said a lot. and i like that it was her choice to burn the prophecy sequel rather than newt’s suggestion

gabriel was amusing. like.. i’m glad he wasn’t in the book. but he was great here. also really like michael and uriel. uriel was so damn beautiful.

i also would really have liked to see a mention of the fact crowley and aziraphale are both agender and potentially asexual. not even a hint of it here. buuuuuut it guess i know from the book. so.

my favourite episode was of course episode 3 with crowley and aziraphale’s 6000 year backstory. especially the 1940s bit where crowley saved the books <3

this show was was less confusing than the book too. ugh it was done so well

OH

we didn’t see where the soldier guy went when aziraphale zapped him away!!! in the book he reappeared safely back home and went out to see his family. to be fair i don’t know whether he died and went to heaven, but it was a nice thing to happen

and they took out the Them’s bully/rival gang, who was led by the third baby from the baby swap, and who won awards for his tropical fish. at least that’s what i remember. which meant the parallel about heaven/hell being rival gangs was lost here. but the parallel between the horsemen and the them was stronger than ever and i loved that.

look, i mean, 10 out of 10, EASY.

favourite thing? yes. yes, absolutely.

--

shoutout to the one time i wrote a Good Omens/Destiel crossover fic The Angel Cake Challenge

IT’S 04:02am THIS TOOK ME 12 HOURS

04:40am AND FORTY MINUTES TO EDIT

congrats if you made it to the end of this!!! thank you for reading <3 AND GO WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

[minnuet-archive]

about me!

hey! i'm vio.

that's not my real name (by real name, i don't mean dead name - i mean chosen name that i use in real life), but it doesn't mean i chose it at random. viola (vio) is my online name for a reason.

i chose the name viola because even though it's a girl's name, it's also the name of one of shakespeare's most sexually ambiguous characters to exist. vio, while also being a nickname for viola, is it's own name that comes from the word vita, meaning life.

in fact, i want vio to be my middle name once i legally change my name.

✰✰✰

i've kind of come to terms with my good traits and my not-so-good traits. i've been described as charismatic, kind, intelligent, patient, caring, thoughtful, good at giving advice, and funny. but the downside to being (supposedly) charismatic is that i can be manipulative. i also lie a little more than i should because of my anxiety.

✰✰✰

sexuality and gender wise, i'm not someone you can put into labels. i'm equally okay with he/him and they/them pronouns, so i'm perfectly comfortable with either the label trans ftm or nonbinary.

although i'm TECHNICALLY pansexual, I enjoy the term queer because it makes me feel less self conscious about if i'm more straight than gay (or vice versa) and things like that.

✰✰✰

i'm: - a pisces - a slytherin (although i don't support j.k. rowling herself and i don't love the harry potter series either, knowing my house will probably help you get a feel for who i am) - an enfj/infj (it changes a surprising amount) - an 8 (then a 3, then a 5) in the enneagram - chaotic neutral - a son of loki - a son of either hermes or hades (it's been a long internal debate)

✰✰✰

i love: - hunter x hunter (ハンター×ハンター / hantā hantā) - attack on titan (進撃の巨人 / shingeki no kyojin) - my hero academia (僕のヒーローアカデミア / boku no hīrō akademia) - death note (デスノート / desu nōto) - haikyu!! (ハイキュー!! / haikyū!!) - violet evergarden (ヴァイオレット・エヴァーガーデン / vaioretto evāgāden) - nura: rise of the yokai clan (ぬらりひょんの孫 / nurarihyon no mago / nurarihyon's grandson) - ouran high school host club (桜蘭高校ホスト部 / ōran Kōkō Hosuto Kurabu) - black clover (ブラッククローバー / burakku kurōbā) - yuri!!! on ice (ユーリ!!! on ICE) - westworld - the politician - the haunting of hill house - the good place - good omens - brooklyn nine-nine - on my block - lost in space - many more

i'm a big shipper and it causes me quite a bit of pain considering i mostly ship gay ships and i also mostly watch animes so they'll never happen.

✰✰✰

i used to play basketball and tennis, but now i mainly just use my dad's peloton bike and go on runs. oh, and i also snowboard and surf! i'm pretty good at surfing although i need someone to push me on a wave and i'm getting a lot better at snowboarding (although i'm not GOOD).

✰✰✰

i enjoy cooking too, but don't have enough time or energy for it. i love horror movies and house plants, but i can't take care of them for shit.

✰✰✰

i really like to listen to music!!! it's very hard to describe my musical taste, but my top grneres are modern rock, indie pop, indie, pop, rock, electropop, and dance pop. 

i used to listen to more emo music, but recently i’ve found that it just gets me down, so i try to listen to upbeat/chill music.

my spotify account name is strangecharm if you want to follow me! the playlist currently. has music that rotates as i find my favorite songs, but seventh grade. has all the music i've liked this year! i also really enjoy the playlist chill.

i also like musicals (dear evan hansen, be more chill, heathers, six the musical, and hamilton for the most part), but they're not what i listen to for the most part.

oh! i'm a singer and a pianist! i've always loved singing, but i always hated piano. a while ago, i got significantly better and started playing songs i enjoyed. it gave me this sense of motivation i've never felt when it comes to piano. i've even composed a couple piano pieces at this point!

✰✰✰

another really nerdy thing about me is that i genuinely enjoy philosophy and poetry (particularly from one of my favorites, rumi).

i love: - john green - david levithan - terry pratchett - neil gaiman - tomi adeyemi - rick riordan - jalāl ad-dīn muhammad rūmī (aka rumi; he’s an ancient persian poet, and he’s queer as hell) overall, i don't really read by authors, though. for the most part, when i choose a book, it's because it was recommended to me or is of value to me as an author.

✰✰✰

i'd like to grow up to be an author, but i also want to teach writing so i can share what i know! my (dream) life plan is kind of to go to college in london or, if not, somewhere on the east coast of the united states.

from there, i'd either want to study abroad in japan or get my english abroad permit and teach english in japan.

✰✰✰

i'm re-learning spanish and learning japanese, too! i want to learn them for four main reasons among many: 1) knowing spanish is really helpful in america 2) i can write novels in english, spanish, and japanese! 3) both spanish and japanese are absolutely beautiful languages- way more beautiful than english. 4) i can watch animes and have peace of mind because i won't have to read subtitles that are insanely off from what the voice actors are saying.

✰✰✰

i'm an eclectic witch (although i am particularly drawn to divination and green witchcraft)!

i really love tarot cards! some people think they can tell the future which is okay (i guess), but personally, i just use them to help me recognize themes in my and other people's life/lives from an unbiased perspective and help make things better.

my favorite kind of spells are jar spells and tea spells. if i'm doing spells, they're normally protection spells, self-love spells, or anti-anxiety/depression/bad vibe spells. i don't really believe in trying to use hexes or curses because then you're no better than the person you're cursing.

✰✰✰

i love art, but i'm not very good at it, so for the most part i do abstract art instead of realistic art. abstract art is pretty fun, too!

i'm trying to get better at using proportions and things, though. my favorite method is the loomis method and i love the youtube channel proko.

you can check out my book on wattpad, artistic elixir (i know, cheesy; i thought i was cool and i’m too lazy to rename it), if you want to see some of my art.

✰✰✰

i have a lot of unpopular opinions. some are big and some are small. that's just who i am. my mom's insanely left wing and lgbtq+ herself, but my dad's neither left nor right wing, leaving him hated by both wings. i've become a weird mix where i'm definitely more left wing than right, but i'm also not really either wing.

for example, i think that, if I'm being honest, the amount of labels in LGBTQ+ community has gotten out of hand. i'm not saying that the feelings aren't real. I'm not saying that it's impossible to not want to have sex or feel physical attraction until you get to know someone. but some genders & sexualities sound a lot more like a preference to me. i think that a lot of labels that exist could easily fit into other ones that already did exist. i also feel that you need some kind of dysphoria to be genderqueer and that neopronouns are a bit unnecessary.

basically, the rule of thumb for me is that i don't give a fuck. by saying this, i mean that i both do not give a fuck: 1) in that you can do whatever you want and be whoever you want and don't have to to live by my opinions. i understand and respect that and i’ll love you the same as long as you’re not hurting anyone with your actions. 2) in that i won't tiptoe around you, trying not to hurt you. i will share my opinion, regardless of whether or not it hurts you. i speak my mind; that's how i've always been and always will be.

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i have a pinterest, a wattpad, an archive of our own, a spotify, and, obviously, a tumblr, so just ask me if you want my account on any of them!

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that’s basically all i can think of, but i’ll always answer questions for you guys! just send me an ask or even a pm if you want to ask any other questions, or even just want to talk! i’m always up for making friends!

-vio/viola 

[four-loose-screws]

FE4 Suzuki Novelization Translation - Chapter 5 Part 1

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations - Ko-fi

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Chapter 5 - The Battle in Verdane

Part 1

Sigurd's army began to march towards Verdane.

Their first objective was to seize Evans Castle, located near the border. 

They continued moving until they could see the Yung River, where they stopped and prepared for battle in the cover of the forest in front of the river.

The bridge connecting Verdane and Grannvale was still up, and on the other side of the river, they could see a large enemy army.

"The Verdanians haven't lowered the bridge, meaning they must be planning to invade once again. In other words, they have confidence in their army's might. If we are careless, then we'll probably have to defend against a brutal counterattack." Oifey explained.

"As our tactician, what strategy do you suggest we take?"

"We should have our knights guard the bridge. Meanwhile, on the riverbank, our mages, archers, and javelin-wielders should line up and pick off as many of the enemy soldiers as they can."

Arden was itching for a chance to finally get a chance to shine, and happily marched ahead.

When the Verdanians saw him, they approached the river, and a battle broke out around the bridge.

Fire mage Azel and arch knight Midir lined up on the shore beside Quan and his cavaliers, who could all wield javelins. They shot their attacks across the river, while the enemy archers and hand axe-wielding fighters fought back.

The fight continued on all day, yet failed to reach a conclusion.

At sunset, the two armies left watch guards by the bridge, then pulled back.

-

The fight continued on in the same way the next day.

While Sigurd’s army was indeed chipping away at the enemy defenses, they weren't getting a chance to go on the offensive, either.

When everyone returned to camp at sunset, Sigurd found Arvis there waiting for him.

"Nice to see you again, Prince Sigurd!"

"Duke Arvis? Why are you here?"

"His Majesty was worried, so he ordered me to check up on you. I've been watching since this afternoon, and while you are fighting valiantly, you still seem to be struggling."

"Well, the enemy army is rather large…"

'If you'd just send us even a fraction of the Rotenritter's troops, this would be over in an instant.' Sigurd thought, but kept to himself.

"At least the battle should be decided tomorrow afternoon, assuming you keep up the same assault you did today. Anyway, this is a gift from His Majesty. Please take it." Arvis said and handed Sigurd a silver sword.

"What a magnificent blade… Is the king really giving this to me…? It is an honor." He took the sword and unsheathed it halfway. Even in the dim torch light, he could see just how well crafted it was. "Duke Arvis, please tell His Majesty that I said thank you from the very bottom of my heart."

"I will. Oh, and by the way, Sigurd. I heard that my younger brother, Azel, joined your army. Is this true?"

"I apologize. I heard that he'd come to me without telling you, yet I didn't even try to tell him to go home. My army lacks any mages, so he's been a great asset to us. He even played a huge part in the battle today. Please consider allowing him to fight with us for a while."

"Hmm… " Arvis paused to think for a few seconds. "If he's safe, then I'll allow it. He may not be the greatest attacker, but he's good at defending himself. Since he isn’t fully trained yet, please be careful that he doesn’t get cocky and go out on the front line alone. He may be my bastard brother, but please look after him.”

"I understand. I will make it my personal responsibility to protect Prince Azel."

"Remember that you never know what will happen during battle. As a commander, you shouldn't claim so lightly that you will be personally responsible for your soldiers." Arvis told him.

And he knew Arvis was right. "I apologize." Sigurd said and bowed his head. "By the way, would you like me to go get him?" 

"No, you don't have to. It would terrify him to see me, and I must be getting back to the capital. The entire world has fallen into chaos ever since the incident in Darna. It’s just been one strange incident after another. Now then, I'll be going. May the fortunes of war be with you."

-

The next morning, the stalemate continued until noon, when the enemy's movements began to dull.

"When the bridge is unguarded, that'll be our chance!" Oifey shouted.

Soon after, the opportunity finally struck. Arden's unit took out the last enemy guarding the bridge, leaving it wide open.

"Now’s our chance! Chaaaarge!" Sigurd yelled, unsheathed his new silver sword from the king, crossed the bridge, and charged directly into the middle of the Verdanian Army’s front line.

The sword sliced through their enemies like paper. Sigurd slaughtered them left and right, leaving a trail of blood behind him. The other cavaliers followed after him, widening the gap between the enemy lines even further. By the time they were done, the enemies were split into two separate groups, and they took advantage of that opening to begin their charge towards the castle.

"After them!"

The castle gate had been left wide open to welcome any retreating Verdanians. Sigurd took full advantage of the opportunity and rushed inside the castle alongside their enemies.

The rest was easy. The only soldier who fought bravely was their leader.

Even as Sigurd's horse galloped straight at him, he did not try to run, instead taking the opportunity to throw his hand axe.

Sigurd continued straight at him without slowing down. At the last second, the enemy flinched, causing him to loosen his grip on his axe just enough that when he threw it, it flew past Sigurd's ear.

In the blink of an eye, the silver sword sliced through the man, and he was dead.

For a battle that had lasted three days, Sigurd's army had taken surprisingly little damage. Considering they'd been up against a large army, and seized a castle at that, it could be considered a flawless victory.

The downside was that Aideen was not in Evans Castle, either.

When they asked one of the soldiers who'd surrendered about her, he said that Prince Gandolf had taken her to the Verdanian capital several days ago.

Sigurd wanted to chase after them right away, but knew that he couldn't.

Evans Castle was near the border between Verdane and the Dominion of Agustria. King Imuka always prioritized maintaining a peaceful relationship with Grannvale, however, he'd recently passed away. His son, Chagall, who had always made his anti-Grannvale stance clear, inherited the throne.

And if King Chagall were to take advantage of Grannvale's lack of soldiers, he would need to pass by Evans Castle. While it was a good thing that Sigurd's army had seized Evans Castle, it meant that they were stuck and could not move.

To save Aideen and address the very reason he'd started to fight in the first place, he would have to write a letter requesting for a defense unit to defend Evans, and have one of his cavaliers take it to Jungby. Once there, the semaphore line would send the message to the capital.

But after a week passed, he still had yet to receive a response.