#Etsy get your shit together

[mindmushyyyy]

FUCK THERES ONLY ONE LEFT

marketingggg

[arctic-hands]

Ugh. Am getting a baby sibling plant for Hortensia when I have more monies (Lucky bamboo, most likely. Not a succulent but allegedly low maintenance and less likely to trigger allergies) and am looking up funky/creepy pots for one and the queer Texan who designed and 3D printed the Pot Of Many Faces that Charlie Vera lived and died in and now where Hortensia Vera has successfully grown for over two years now, has had their designed stolen by another Etsy shop from the U.K. selling and printing the design for cheaper. And I'm guessing the original creator knows this and has tried and failed to get Etsy to act because now their listing for the pot says "the original" on it, and Etsy won't let me report the shop since I'm not the one being plagiarized and I can't leave a review on the shop because I never bought from them.

Anyway, the original designer is PrinTerror (not sure if it's supposed to be parsed as Prin Terror or Print Error, it's one word) and not only do I adore the funky poly-face pot but when Charlie died of root rot I reached out and asked how to best sterilize the pot so Hortensia didn't die and they were super helpful. So like. If you like disembodied body parts as an aesthetic, go check them out

[sunshineram]

oh yeag i made spotify playlists of(inspired by?) two of my comfort characters :) 🎉 🚬

[angis-filthy-corner]

Fun things to do with your selfship!!

for when you want to do some fun stuff with your f/o and have no idea what.

Make yourselves on the SIMS 4! The game is free on Steam, and there's a whole modding community where you can find lots of fun (and sometimes kinky) things to play around with. :3 You can just make each other and have fun watching you interact in a domestic environment! Orrr torture the shit out of them in game. /l-h

Make moodboards! This is really fun to think about and you can spend hours looking for pics online. What objects are important to you and your F/O? What colors define you? Is there a specific aesthetic that you two fit? Etc.

If moodboards are not enough, make stimboards! Yeah! Selfship stimboards! You can look for stims here on Tumblr, or on YT if you know what you're looking for, or cool niche products on Etsy and the like. If your selfship reminds you of a starry night sky, or about a creepy storm at sea, you can find and gif those things and have fun!

Make SMAUs! SMAUs are the shit these days lmfao. Either write how you and your selfship would interact on Twitter, or silly convos you'd have over text, I can assure you these are addicting and stupidly fun to make. There are plenty of sites and apps that let you create these, depending what social media you are looking for.

Make online collages! (Thanks bae for the idea) You can use something like Picsart with their huge free sticker selection, or import your own images and just throw a bunch of things together that remind you of your F/O!

Make PicMixes! Kinda like collages but with gifs lol. Just go to picmix.com and have fun creating!

Make a playlist! You can get inspo for character-inspired playsts, POVs that align with your selfship dynamic, using YT or Spotify or whatever app you use for music.

Anyone is free to add to this with their own ideas. :3 Just have fun!!

[sofasoap]

Teddy Bear

Pairing: John Price x F! Reader

Summary: You bump into a handsome stranger while shopping. meet cute.

Warning: M Theme. VERY slight mention of Innuendoes. Alcohol use. assumptions.

A/N: for @a-small-writer-in-a-big-world, hope this will give you a tiny etsy warm fuzzy feeling with our dear Johnathan Price.

not beta'ed or proof read.

Master list

“Aunty Bear! Come on!!”

Letting out a sigh, half regretting letting your adorable niece and nephew have the free rein to choose any present they want as they drag you by the pants through aisle after aisle at the local department store. 

You haven’t seen your sister’s family for over a year. You were astonished how big they have grown in the time between, especially your little niece. Seems only yesterday you were cradling her in your arm as a newborn, and now her little feet can zoom around faster than a sports car, even her six year old brother is having hard time keeping up. 

 “Alright alright, steady there, I can’t keep up with you when I can’t see where I am going!” you warned the little girl as you adjusted the oversized teddy bear in your arms, at the same time trying to navigate blindly. At the end you just give up and let her pull whichever direction she leads you. 

Suddenly you collide with an obstacle, sending you reeling. A strong muscular arm caught you in time before you fell onto the shelves.  

“Apologies, are you alright there?” A deep husky voice above your head asks as they try to steady your footing, and only to let go after they are sure both of your feet are firmly back on the ground again. 

Your face heats up as soon as you lift your head up to take a good peek at your saviour ( or victim of your blind walking ), gezez he is tall, you thought. Very handsome too. Nicely groomed beard, piercing blue eyes, slight wrinkles around his eyes and between brows. He must frown pretty often. 

“Ohh, aunty look, he’s got a furry face!” your two year old niece pointed at the stranger, as she stared at him with wonder. 

“That’s called a beard Lizzy, not fur.” your nephew corrected his sister, rolling his eyes. 

“Actually that is a mutton chop.. “ you blurted out without thinking. Seconds later  your eyes grew wide, realising what you just said.  

‘Shit um, sorry, uh, I apologise.. Sorry to run into you. And Um, commenting on your…” you dropped the large teddy bear on the floor, while one hand covering your mouth, waving around towards his beard, horrified. 

The handsome stranger chuckled. “It’s ok. It’s always been a talking point. I am used to it.” 

Embarrassed beyond words, you shake your head. You swallowed hard before you squeezed more words of apology out of your mouth.

“Really it’s Ok. I know it’s hard to chase around the kids when your hands are full.” he commented.

“From experience?” you asked, eyebrows raised, and feeling that slight ping of disappointment in your heart. He must be married. You thought. You took a quick glance at his left hand. No rings. Your heart soars again.

“ I guess chasing and yelling after three adults that behave like kids you can count as that.” He replied as he let out a short laugh. “Especially ones that don't follow your command when they are off duty.” 

Seeing your brows knitted together with confusion at his comment, “ My subordinate. Those three are like my sons.” he smiled softly. 

You swear the room spun a bit after seeing his smile. Or are you swooning? 

Get your brain straight! You mentally slap yourself. You are here shopping for presents, not ogling on eligible or dateable people!

You felt your nephew tugging at your clothes, snapping you out of your internal dialogue. “Aunty Bear, I am hungry, can we go home and have lunch please?” he pouted. 

“Ah um, ok, let’s go and pay for this and we can go home, ya?” you replied, ready to bend down to pick up the teddy bear from the floor. A shadow loomed over you. The stranger had bent over, arms out. 

“I’ll carry that for you, if you don’t mind. Also be easier to hold onto your niece as well.” he gestured. 

Gosh how nice can this man be? You ran into him, and now he is offering to help you to carry your purchase? 

You nodded your head, whispered a thanks, before you turned and picked your niece up into your arms. 

The stranger picks the teddy bear up under his arm with ease, while your nephew carries the rest of the items, as four of you walk towards the register. 

“Aunty … he’s like a real giant teddy bear..” your niece whispered into your ear. “And his arms are furry too, just like his face.” 

The stranger turned around, “My chest is quite furry too. And legs. Just like a real bear.” he added with a mischievous smile.

Your face burnt with embarrassment. Is he trying to flirt with you? There is no way. NOPE. 

You speed up your pace to get to the register, even more embarrassed.   

“Daddy and mummy buying presents for you two?” the old lady at the register asked the children with a smile as she ring up the items. 

“Oh no no no we are not… “ “she’s not…I am just helping her..“ both of you shake your head, denying. Your face heated up again at the thought.  How much more embarrassment can you take today? But part of your heart is actually amused at the situation.

“Oh sorry.. Just four of you look so lovely together..” the lady apologised. “Sorry to make the assumption.” 

You took a peek at the stranger as he accepted the apology and gracefully redirected the conversation with the lady with little chit-chat.  

He was even nice enough to help you to carry everything to the car, “Need help to put it into the boot, wife?”  he joked as he flashes you a smile. 

“Ah, thanks, um uh,  you shouldn’t have.” you stuttered slightly hearing his joke. You pop the boot open, letting him stuff the large teddy bear in. “I ran into you and here you are helping me, I feel very bad. So um, Can I buy you a coffee or something as an apology and as a thanks for the help?” 

A sad apologetic smile appeared on his face. Looking at his watch he replied, “It’s Ok. I have to leave soon. Plus,” he pointed at the two children standing beside you, pouting. “I think they are getting bit.. What is the word, hangry? So I think it’s time to feed them.” 

Disappointment hits you. The one time you raise your courage to ask someone, you get turned down. 

“Maybe next time?” he suddenly asked. 

“Oh. Um. I .. I am not from around here. I am only here to visit my sister and family..” 

Now is that a look of disappointment on his face? 

“Oh. That’s fine. Well, nice to meet you. Have a safe drive home.” Giving you a final wave as you double check the children are buckled into their seats, you drive out from the car park, while the stranger is still standing at the same spot, seeing you off. 

Oh well. Not meant to be. You convinced yourself. Suppressing that sadness that is bubbling up within you. 

Your sister was ecstatic when you told her you found a new job nearby. She often complaints about how the children misses you, how she misses you, and the job opportunity around the city is better than the one you are currently living in, plus she has a granny flat in her backyard, you save a bit on rent, get to stay with your family while still have your own private space. Tonight a group of you decided to go out and celebrate one of your workmate’s birthday. And you always wanted to check out this particular bar that always seems to be full of people. Everyone you asked raved about the good selection of drink and food. “And maybe you might meet that handsome stranger again!” your friend joked.

You rolled your eyes. You knew you shouldn’t have let that story out. It’s been nearly over a year. They might have moved on. They might have forgotten about you. Surely in such a big city, the chance of bumping into the same person is quite slim. 

“It’s your birthday! I’ll get your next drink!” you wave at your friend, declining her offer of money as you jump off the stool, ready to get your second pint of beer.  As soon as you turned around, you bumped into a wall of broad chest. The stranger caught you just in time, and pulled you into his chest to prevent you from falling. You felt his chest rumble as he chuckled. You recognise that laugh. 

“Hello teddy bear lady, we really should stop meeting like this.”

Oh deary me. Maybe luck is on your side. 

tag list :

@a-small-writer-in-a-big-world @homicidal-slvt

@floral-force @okayyadriana @cumikering @siilvan

@random-thot-generator @random0lover @devcica @jynxmirage @nrdmssgs @glitterypirateduck @rileyslibrarian

@mistydeyes, @groguspicklejar,

@whydoilikewhump @captainpriceslover, @tapioca-marzipan

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

Pinned FAQ

How do I request a card?

You can request up to 3 cards for free during openaskbox events! During those, the /ask inbox opens up for a few hours, during which I try to write as many as I can live on twitch and post them on tumblr.

After the event is over and I close that inbox, there are still a BUNCH of leftover requests. This is how I fill the daily content queue, I use those up til it's empty again and then run another openaskbox.

On Sundays at 3pm EST I write all 28 cards due to go up for the week from that pool of leftover asks live on twitch and then queue them to go up after stream

What if I don't wanna wait?

If you'd like to throw a bit of cash around instead of waiting, you can buy via the etsy listing or you can tune in to those^ Saturday livestreams, there's a variety of ways to donate to get cards written for you on the spot

How do I buy the card I've requested?

The etsy listing is available here! Please remember to include in the notes of the purchase which card(s) you want to buy. If you'd like me to bundle together all the cards you've requested over a period of a few years, dm me here on the blog and I can quote you on a cheaper bundle price

Why did you answer all those asks, it messed up my dash?

Sorry about that! So to keep all of that ^ organized, at the end of the month, I answer about 112-140 leftover asks in order to record them to a proper "to-write document"

It helps me keep organized, it allows me to easily search for spelling issues, and it gets a few eyeballs on the request in case someone tries to slip an obscure slur into their request that I'm not cool with writing (it has happened)

Lots of the regulars are used to this dash nonsense, but there are folks who want to avoid it entirely. If you're on mobile I'd just recommend unfollowing for a while, but if you're on desktop, you can blacklist the tag "added to notepad" and go to xkit to tick the "fully hide blocked tags" option so it clears up your dash

Wait I thought requests were closed, why can I still send things?

That's because requests use /ask, but /submit is always open because it's for YOUR calligraphy, pet photos, fanart of man... etc. Requests are NOT open when it's not openaskbox day but feel free to send me cool shit YOU made anytime

Wait you have a twitch, do you do anything other than calligraphy?

I try! my schedule at work (restaurant) varies week to week so I try my best to stream whenever I've got free time to, nothing's really planned out though

What are your regular writing tools and paper?

I mainly just use speedball nibs, specifically the c-series (c-0 through c-4) because they're angled flat nibs that let me do most blackletter hands I write. I have a supply of leonardt thin tips for detailing and illustrating

As for paper, the cards you see on the daily are on plain index cue cards I buy from staples. When commissioned/doing larger pieces, I work with a variety of paper, including a 32 lb xerox paper that has juuuust a perfect amount of lamination that avoids ink feathering, black paper that I bought a hundred sheets of in 2019 and I no longer remember the label, and a BOATLOAD of southworth's ivory parchment paper at both 32 and 64 lb weights.

[pygmi-cygni]

T Minus Ten

remember that miguel fic I talked about....

here she is!!!!

series warning: eventual smut (light), angst, pining, lovesickness, adorable migs, enemies (?) to lovers, more like emotionally repressed to infatuated, angst, miscommunication, as many tropes as I can possibly manage

warnings for this chapter: lots of exposition, medical inaccuracies, introduction basically, canon violence

miguel o'hara x reader (afab) no description other than reader is v strong and has some small tattoos on hands (important later i swear)

enjoy!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

The medical field was essentially obsolete in the Spiderverse. It takes hundreds of years to name a disease, let alone cure it, and then to add in the factors of different biology, different gravitational boundaries, bacterial possibilities....you honestly just felt like hanging up your lab coat and starting an Etsy.

Each branch of the Multiverse was grouped in the extensive medbay located in HQ. The branches with the most similar biology and treatment varieties were closest together. Every spider was given their hall number that had any resources they'd need depending on their genetic makeup.

It was tough work, remembering where everyone was from and the unique characteristics that came with them. Especially when some varieties blurred the lines.

Namely one.

Miguel O'Hara, head of this shit-show and arguably the biggest pain in the ass you'd ever seen, rarely found himself in need of the medical ward's services. Which is probably why nobody thought to figure this problem out.

See, most spider-people were predominantly human. The spider that bit them had only added on to existing capability: extreme strength that improved muscle mass, improved grip on fingers...the only 'inhuman' factor was the webbing.

Miguel had a slightly different build. His DNA had been spliced; like two ropes being braided together. The spider DNA had rebuilt his human DNA, therefore it didn't follow the same pattern in response to medicine or bandages. Which made his medical aversion a little more realistic.

Either way, it didn't matter how much he hated doctors, he couldn't fix a poisoned spear through his chest with an at-home first aid kit.

Eight of HQ's most qualified doctors sat around various scans of the monstrous Spiderman, puzzling through the bizarre data. Your education had been focused on epidemiology, or the spread of disease. Poison wasn't really your thing, but you thought it might be cool to watch.

Dr. Ben Parkinson, the 'head' doctor, was explaining the possible treatments.

"It doesn't seem to be deadly," he reasoned, "but prolonged exposure without medication might have some deteriorating effects." He pointed to a highlighted area of the wound. "See, the muscle tissue is deteriorating, and long-term deterioration could be permanent."

The medical staff shot amused glances at one another, trying to imagine Miguel as anything other than a hulking boulder of muscle.

Ben rolled his eyes and tapped the scans. "Do we have any base vitals for him? Any logged info?"

Maria, his assistant, scrolled on her tablet. "Uhhhh....negative on that. Looks like he hasn't done his immunos either."

You frowned. When HQ had established itself with a medbay, you and the few other nurses had done rounds to make sure any necessary vaccines and medications had been administered. How did we skip him?

"New plan," Ben said slowly, "let's get him up to date and then we'll evaluate. he's relatively stable right now, so let's keep up the current treatment and move from there, yeah?"

He looked at you. "You're the nurse responsible for his wing, right? Do you mind doing his vitals and reporting back?"

You nodded, faltering. What if the spider DNA screwed up his vitals? His resting heartrate was probably higher, and his metabolism had to be insane...the rest of the staff clearly did not share your concern, glad to be rid of the Miguel problem.

Maria handed you her tablet and gave you an apologetic smile. "At least the sedatives will stop him from scratching you," she whispered in your ear.

You shuddered. Here goes nothing.

Miguel was laid out on two beds with the guardrails removed. He couldn't fit on one, so the staff had to quickly improvise. You tried to hum a calming tune, hyperaware of the large claws hanging off the blanket.

Even though he was unconscious, a ripple of fear went through you. He was enormous. If he got mad....you shuddered.

Tenderly, you angled your stethoscope under the mess of tubes feeding into his chest. His skin was unbelievably warm, and you pursed your lips. Definitely feverish. You took his heart rate, tried as gently as you could to do his blood pressure, and measured his blood sugar on the dial near his bed.

Well.

His DNA was definitely strange, because all of his vitals pointed to cardiac arrest and a 104F fever.

"What...the fuck?" He should be dead by those numbers.

You did everything twice more, just to be sure. Still the same. Elevated heart rate, high temperature, and blood pressure that wasn't physically possible.

It confirmed your theory. That meant you had to do a full body scan, analyze the numbers, try to find some kind of pattern....ugh.

His hands were beginning to twitch, and you scurried out of the small room. He'd likely be pissed, waking up in a hospital room with a poisoned stake sticking out of his chest.

Reading through his file, you chewed on your pinky nail. Apparently, a new variant of Green Goblin had been discovered on the fringes of a random universe. It produced a highly acidic venom, the same that had infected the rebar impaling Miguel. The science labs were analyzing the poison, and little info had been found.

Corrosive, acidic, highly destructive on human tissue.

Huh.

Miguel seemed to be holding up okay. Explains the elevated temperature and heart rate. His body was cranking out energy, repairing the damage almost as soon as it occurred.

A grin teased its way onto your face. This was the part of your job that you loved. The puzzle, all the little bits that opened up a bigger picture and eventually, the solution.

You wrote up his chart with your hypothesis and sent it to Dr Ben. Tomorrow would be exciting, to say the least.

-

Exciting was one word for it. Apparently your prediction was correct: Miguel was decidedly not happy with his living situation at the moment. The nurse who'd gone in to give him his IV had dodged a flying chair, and it had escalated from there. Jess had intervened, resorting to an anomaly cage to keep him secure.

After that frazzling morning, Ben was ready for some good news. You were excitedly explaining the deductions you'd found last night, when a small knock came from the office door.

Gwen, one of the newer spiders, shyly poked her head in. Ben went to shoo her away, but you beckoned her in warmly.

Wait a second, you nodded to your boss, and he sat back with a sigh.

The young woman's colored hair hung limp and unwashed. She had been on the backup team to help Miguel and his crew, and the fallout had been hard on her. It was a big mission, especially for a rookie. She was struggling.

"Hi, Gwen, how are you today?" You pulled over a chair, nodding at her to sit. She folded her hands tightly and didn't meet your eyes.

"'M fine," she mumbled, fidgeting with her hoodie. You grabbed the notes you'd taken earlier and a pen.

"...Do...you wanna talk about it? Anything you remember, something we might have missed?"

The room was quiet as you waited. Ben shot you an exasperated look and nodded towards the clock. Not much time.

You sighed and leaned forwards. "it's okay if you don't have anything, Gwen, but we want Miguel to get better, so if you remember-"

"He was glitching," she blurted, cheeks flaming.

You exchanged another glance with Ben.

"He...when the..."she gestured vaguely, "spear thingy went into him, he started glitching. Like, really bad."

That made you stop. "Was...did you see his watch fall off at any point?"

She shook her head sharply. "No. It was like as soon as the venom hit him, he glitched. and it didn't stop until Jess and the guys got there. He was..." she shuddered, and you patted her arm comfortingly.

Though you did technically have spider abilities, you would never in a thousand years want to be fighting. You couldn't imagine dealing with that every day, especially at Gwen's age. You made a mental note to ask the psychiatrist for a check in.

"What were the details of the mission? was there anything specific about the Goblin that made him so strange?" As a member of the med crew, you didn't have access to mission files.

Gwen nodded, wiping her eyes. "Yeah. He was portal jumping like crazy. Miguel was so pissed," she laughed weakly, "he was jumping in circles like a cat."

"Was he glitching?"

"No, he was fine. It was weird...like he somehow belonged to all of the dimensions. We chased him through three different ones before..." A glazed look came over her, and you figured she needed a break.

"Thank you Gwen," you said gently, walking her to the door, "you've been very helpful. Get some rest, honey."

Watching her shuffle down the hall, you puzzled with the information she'd given.

What the fuck was going on?

Ben's serious look confirmed your bewilderment. This was clearly a bigger problem than you anticipated.

"We should give that to the labs," he pointed to your notepad. "They'll wanna know that info."

You nodded wordlessly, handing it over. What did that mean for Miguel? If this Goblin wasn't following the multiverse rules, was there even a possibility of fighting this?

Ben disappeared around the hall as you groaned into your hands. The excitement of the last 36 hours had done a number on you. Despite your heightened energy levels, you still felt sluggish. Flipping to the surveillance footage, you peeked in on your burly patient.

He was laying awake, the sharp spikes on his heart monitor indicating his agitation. His limbs were lightly restrained to keep him from disabling the glowing red net cast over him.

Oddly, you felt bad.

It was hard enough being injured and alone, but he was being treated like a prisoner. Poor guy. No wonder he doesn't socialize much.

Figuring you had some time, you grabbed your med kit and strolled down to his room. Maybe he'd have a good explanation of his situation. He was a renowned geneticist, after all.

The spider positioned outside his door gave you a wary look. "Miss, you might wanna-"

"Doctor," you corrected crisply, "and I'd like to see my patient."

The young man hesitated, but let you through anyway. He rambled about precautions and avoiding Miguel's temper, but you weren't listening.

His eyes were red.

A bitter, furious shade of scarlet that made your tongue dry and your heart cower. He was pulsing with so much restrained energy that you felt three times smaller. Again you were reminded of his size. You clutched your kit and dismissed the guard.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Despite his condition, Miguel could still easily snap your arms in half. Sharp canines dug into his lower lip. Maria's earlier comment came back to you. I'm more worried about the teeth than the claws, honey.

"Miguel?" Your voice was surprisingly stable, though quiet.

He blinked but gave no further answer. Swallowing, you walked slowly around to the side of his bed and sat. His straining thighs were inches away. The net hummed gently, resisting any movement.

You squinted against the bright threads. Miguel continued to scowl, eyes narrowing to slits. Trying to breathe steadily, you pulled out a capped syringe.

"I'm going to give you your vaccines is that alright?" stay calm stay calm oh my god oh holy fuck-

A singular, clawed finger poked through the net.

"Be my guest, mija."

He'd broken the restraints.

______________________________________________________________

part two out on Aug 18! love you xox

let me know if you want to be tagged for updates!

[trickstarbrave]

the sheer confidence ppl have that they could get away with murder in satan's year of 2024 is astounding. in the 80's or earlier you could just hit someone with your car and if it wasn't a particularly populated area you could get away with it and have it be a hit and run. now everything has cameras and gps tracking. you aren't getting away with shit.

"oh im gonna intentionally hit someone and then put them in my car saying im taking them to the hospital and drive to my house instead to kill them and hide the body--" you cant even wear a unique tshirt you bought off etsy to a protest without being tracked down by the cops. if you think you can kill someone in broad daylight (lets be real most pedestrians are out during the day so in all likelihood itll be during the day this happens) and get away with that shit ur fucking insaneeeeeeeeeeee. stop larping

"well no one will care" bro ive been in a car accident everyone around you just fucking stops and gets out asking if everything is alright. people will be coming out businesses. multiple ppl will be calling emergency services. ppl will be taking pics of ur license plate then and there. even if they think it was a complete accident they will want u to have ur shit together and be asking u what happened, help u try and get ur story straight, and reassure u and the victim.

also frankly this is fucking pathetic shit talking online you are not going to kill someone because they mildly inconvenienced you crossing the street when you dont want to slow down. if it was easy to commit actual murder just bc someone inconvenienced you we would see a lot more murder happening. its not. you are not gonna kill someone. you're gonna fume behind the wheel and come to a stop and then go "i should have just fucking hit them" which is already a terrible fucking thing to say and then you'll go home and be mad about it for 3 days at most and then forget it happened. you arent going to kill someone. you are not a fucking genius tv show serial killer. you are on tumblr.

[fallencelsetial]

quastion. if you had to give each of the nu carnival guys a present, what would you give to each one? oh and let's assume monies aren't a problem here

To answer your Quastion. If Monies are not an issue, and I can just the boys whatever the hell I want, then-

Eiden: I'm getting this boy every single craft supply I can think of. Fabrics, yarns, tule, buttons, clays, pen, pencils. I'm getting him everything. He's so friggin talented and just an artsy boy. He'd definitely have an etsy or two on the side of his actual job.

Aster: You didn't say the presents had to be objects. Plus Asters got SO MUCH MONEY. Boy could get anything he wanted at any time. Hell. He's the clan sugar daddy. If I was getting him a gift, it would definitely be something practical. And Honestly, I'd probably just get him more staff. He's got so many things he's running, I'm sure he'd really appreciate the help, and especially, that he's not the one paying for it.

Morvay: Similarly to Aster, I wouldn't really get Morvay an object. What I would get him though, is food. He's a bit of a greedy boy. He's always getting yelled at by aster for sneaking out and feeding, and constantly getting overworked. I think he deserves a place where he can relax and indulge in his favorite things. I'm sure there's some club out there that has membership option and would allow him to just go ham.

Yakumo: Cooking tools seems too easy. I'm sure he's already got everything he needs. You know what? I'm actually gonna get him some alone time with Eiden. I'm getting them a vacation together. I'm gonna send him and Eiden off somewhere real private. Do you know how happy he'd probably be? Boy is so possessive. He'd be OVER THE MOON about having Eiden all to himself for like a week. And I'm sure Eiden would be happy about spending time with him too. Gross honeymooning ass bitches.

Edmond: I'm getting him all the porn and sweets he wants. Just because I know he's gonna be a bitch about it. I would know. I'm the same. "No, I'm not allowed to get this. People will look at me weird if I get that" and Now look at me. I have a whole shelf full of those books. I'm getting him all of it AND, He didn't spend any of his money on it so he can't feel ashamed about it. It was gifts. Now go. Be free.

Olivine: I saw a post somewhere about Oli not having any of his own clothes and how they would take him on a shopping spree and honestly same. And I'd help him pick out the sluttiest, most rebellious clothes possible. I was raised catholic. I know. I know how hard it is. We're going to get you so many things with Religious undertones so it feels safe, AND like you're breaking the rules at the same time.

Quincy: Gosh. He's such a simple dude. All forest man and shit. He probably would not accept anything that would make his life easier. Any more modern versions of tools he already uses would probably be rejected with a "This one works fine/better anyway" Getting a bunch of treats for topper might make him happy though. Actually might just get him something SUPER dad coded. Like a Flask/Canteen. Probably would say he doesn't need it, but would secretly use it anyway.

Kuya: We're getting him all the dumb weird shit. Mans has a collection of dumb weird shit. He's like Blade. Anything he finds intriguing he just keeps. I'm getting this man an old beat up Bakugan. "Check it out. It's opens when you place it on this card but ONLY on this card!" Do you know how psyched he would be??? He's so fucking simple. I'm getting him those boxes that show one character in one window, and another character on the other window.

Garu: I don't think he can have too many toys. I'm getting him so many more toys than what Eiden has already gotten him. Lots of meat too. Oh! And I'm getting him art supplies as well! His art fills me with joy. I love him.

Karu: ALRIGHT. I'm giving him play time. I'm buying/building him a whole play set. He wants to be ruler of everything and I am going to give him that. I am going to spoil the shit outta this puppy. I will get him his own little throne room. He's getting his own little kingdom where he is king, and EVERYONE BOWS TO HIM! He's also getting so much meat too. All Hail the Mighty Karu!!

Blade: I'm also getting him art supplies. Art supplies and Books! If we can find some that he hasn't read yet. Honestly the library is massive. Oooooh but if we go to a book store, there's bound to be new releases of something, and he'll read anything just to have read it, I'm sure he'd really appreciate that!

Dante: A vacation mother fucker. Shut up. Listen Child. I Don't want to hear it. Spa now. Break. Rest. Relaxation. Think of NOTHING. You know what? I'mma throw Eiden in there too. He'd probably help you a lot. Just like how Eiden would be a good part of the gift, for Yakumo, I feel the same goes for him as well. And also, Lots of gifts for Sooley.

Rei: Therapy. Notebooks. Lot's of notebooks. Replacement's for any Equipment he's broken. Some art supplies. Mostly charcoals for his sketches. All practical stuff too. I'd offer to fix some of his personal items, but...I think he prefers them dinged up and broken. Has a bit of a comfort in that. So the supplies would probably be most appreciated by him.

[kassymalone]

A Little Rant about Fun

Remember fun?

Remember when you could do things just because they were fun?

It keeps coming to mind recently, and it's starting to drive me nuts.

I've always done things with my hands - I used to do art before uni destroyed my love and confidence, I write things, I cross stitch, I make models, and I do these things because I enjoy them. Unfortunately I've come to hate talking to people about my hobbies because the almost always have the same response - 'what do you do with that?'

Do I sell on Etsy? No I fucking don't, this pattern took me 15 hours to finish, do you know how much I would have to charge for it?

Do I do freelance writing? No I fucking don't, why would I want a second soul-crushing job on top of my first soul-crushing job?

Why don't I actually get published instead of wasting my time with fanfiction so I can actually make some money off it? WHY DON'T YOU DO IT IF ITS SO FUCKING EASY

I've been thinking of making a quilt recently, with patches of all my favourite things, but I don't want to talk to anyone about it because I can already hear them asking 'and what are you going to do with it? Is this your practice one before you sell them? No, don't do it that way, that's the wrong way, no-one will like it!'

(Don't get me started on the 'you're doing it wrong' crowd, gatekeepers are a different rant.)

JUST LET ME DO THINGS. NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS TO MAKE MONEY. I know we're in a cost of living crisis right now, but I've been hearing this shit since I was a teenager, twenty fucking years ago! I still remember being talked out of singing lessons when I had a little extra money because 'what would I do with it?' Well fuck, my fat ass was never going to be the next Adele, but maybe I could have just had fun doing something I enjoy, but better?!

ON A RELATED NOTE!

You know what disproportionately annoys me? When people call the Nintendo Switch a 'toy' as if it's a bad thing. Like... yes? It's a toy? I play games on it?

'But the frame rate!', 'But the graphics!', 'But it can't run XX game!' WHO FUCKING CARES.

Yes, the xbox and playstation can connect to netflix and play blue rays and cook you dinner and raise your children, but they also cost a months rent and have all these bells and whistles to distract you from the fact that they JUST FUCKING TOYS. There's nothing either of them can do that I can't do on my PC, better and cheaper, and not have to turn on five different peripherals to make it work.

'But 4K!', 'But you can see the character follicles in this new game!', 'But the horses testicles react to the weather!'

Are you not having fun? Are you not enjoying playing your game? Never once have I been in the middle of a game and thought 'I'd be enjoying this more if it had more pixels.' I'm not even against other consoles, use whatever you prefer - if you like modern real-to life graphics then more power to you, but the amount of people who act like it actually matters somehow is concerning...

Yes, the switch hardware is behind what the xbox and playstation can do... but its a toy. Nintendo has never forgotten that it makes toys, and that's why I like it. It sits on my table, connects to my other monitor. I listen to long form youtube videos while I play TOTK. If I'm feeling sassy, I play it handheld.

My niece has one. We play Pokémon together and I let her win battles because the point is to be fun.

WHICH BRINGS ME BACK TO MY POINT!

FUCK the grindset 'but how can I monetise every possible second?' bullshit, FUCK the 'taking this thing that should be fun way too seriously' bullshit.

LET PEOPLE DO THINGS JUST BECUASE THEY'RE FUN.

LET THINGS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN BE FUN.

And now I've used the word 'fun' so much it's lost all meaning.

Much like fun itself.

[voskhodart]

Hey, do you want to learn how to play VHS tapes in the year 202X?

I know this is my art blog, but it has come to my attention that some of you are too young to have experienced the joys of the Video Home System in its prime. Come hither so I can teach you and we can embrace the beauty of physical media together. If you have a thrift store and a TV, this process should work for you.

Step 1: Get a VCR ($4-$15)

DO NOT BUY EXPENSIVE VCR/COMBO SETS FROM THE INTERNET!

The ones you find on sites like eBay and Etsy are insanely overpriced and might not even work. Instead, find a Goodwill, Savers, or independent thrift store near you and go to the electronics section. There’s a good chance they’ll have at least one VCR. If they don’t, try a different shop. You can also check local online marketplaces, yard sales, etc.

Good things to look for:

4 (or more) Heads — Heads are the things that actually read the tape. The more heads you have, the better your picture is going to be.

Auto Tracking — Poor tracking can create a rolling picture, which is a pain to fix. An auto tracking VCR does that work for you.

Pre-2000 — After 2000, electronics started being mass produced with plastic casings and cheap parts. VCRs made after this time are a whole lot easier to break. Ideally, you want something from the late 80s to mid 90s.

Well-known brands — Sony, Toshiba, etc. Japanese manufacturers tend to have the best quality. Early Emersons are nice too.

Generally good condition — If there’s a bullet hole in the case, it’s probably best to pass on. A bit of dust isn’t an issue, but major damage isn’t a good sign. If you can, plug the machine into a power outlet in the store and see if it even turns on.

Head cleaning indicator — Not something you *need*, but I find it nice to have. You’ll want to use a head cleaning tape when the indicator starts flashing.

This is the one I’ll be using for the sake of this guide. This is an old Emerson that I picked up from Goodwill for $7.95. (Notice the five price tags they slapped on top.)

Step 2: Get Some Tapes (¢10-$1)

This is the fun part. Almost every thrift store will have some VHS tapes, usually near the books/DVDs/records. I’ve seen them as expensive as a dollar, but some stores will just give them away for free. I suggest buying a few movies you like, plus one or two shitty tapes to test out your VCR with.

You may also find 20 different copies of Titanic in every store. This is a normal occurance.

Remember to check the condition of any tape you plan on putting in your machine. If the spool looks moldy, you *can* try to clean it, but you’ll need another VCR to do so. If the tape looks wrinkled or otherwise damaged, you can still probably play it, but it will look and sound a lot rougher than you should expect. If the casing is damaged, I wouldn’t risk trying to put it in your VCR at all.

Remember: VHS tapes stopped being produced commercially in 2006. Most tapes you find aren’t going to be in the best shape, because they’re all a few decades old. (Sometimes, though, you will come across a tape with an excellent picture, good sound quality, and subtitles! The Mummy tape that I own is near perfect.)

Step 3: Connecting the VCR to Your TV

For this step, you’re going to want a coaxial cable and a set of RCA cables (the red, yellow, and white ones). If your TV doesn’t have an RCA input, you’ll also need an RCA-to-HDMI converter. If your TV also doesn’t have an HDMI input for whatever reason, you’re shit out of luck.

You’ll plug these cables into the “out” or “out to tv” connection on your VCR, then plug the other end into the back of your TV.

Note: Not all VCRs have right audio (the red one)! That’s fine. Just leave it hanging free. The left audio (white) is your mono audio, so you’ll just have that instead.

Lastly, put the channel switch on the back of your VCR on 3 or 4. I keep mine on 3. This is the number for the channel you’ll go to on your TV to actually see what the VCR is playing.

Step 4: Setting up the TV

I use a little Roku TV, which is surprisingly steady to set up for VCR input:

Settings ➡️ TV Inputs ➡️ Live TV

From here, you’ll either be prompted to scan for channels OR you’ll have to select “scan for antenna channels”. It will ask you if you want to have channels 3 and 4, to which you’ll say “yeah, I do want channels 3 and 4” and click the button that lets you have channels 3 and 4. If you don’t have an antenna, you can skip the other prompts.

I haven’t done this on any other type of TV, but the process should be pretty similar: get yourself to channels 3 and 4 through whatever means necessary.

Once you’re there, it should look like this. Sad, blank, and lonely. But not for long.

Step 5: Playing Your Tapes

This is where things can go really really well or really really wrong. If everything is hooked up, you can grab your shitty tape and insert it into the VCR.

(Make sure there isn’t anything else in there first, though. Some people don’t remove their precious Titanic copies before donating these things.)

You’ll want a tape that’s fairly clean, with no casing damage, and already rewound (black tape in the left window). To insert the tape into a front-loading VCR, slowly and firmly slide it into the slot. Once it’s most of the way in, the machine should “grab” it and pull it all the way inside. You’ll hear the machine make some noises.

(If those noises are really crunchy, that’s probably not a good thing. Troubleshoot with your favorite search engine or head over to r/VHS to see if anyone can help you.)

Once your machine is only making some clunky whirring sounds, it should be safe to press the play button. Enjoy watching your favorite films in the least pleasant format possible. Don’t forget to rewind em when you’re done.

If you have issues, the freaks over at r/VHS tend to be really helpful, but you can also find decade-old YouTube videos that might answer your questions too.

[aspecriddler]

THEE Guide to Not Being a Punk Poser

Hey, so if you're reading this, you may or may not be looking to get into the punk scene, and you also may or may not be at a total loss on where to start

Well fear not! I am here with this little introduction post on how to Not Be A Poser (title pending)

FIRST UP: The Ideals

When it comes to the ideals of alternative subcultures, this graphic by @theygender (hope the tag is ok, lmk if it isn't) is the best summary I've ever seen

And if you're like me, you're solidly on the line between punk and grunge, but leaning just a bit more punk. This is fine /gen

Punk is about community. Punk is about fighting for a better future. Punk is about doing no harm and taking no shit. Punk is about looking out for the underdog. If you don't embody these values then you're not punk. The ideology of Punk is, in my opinion, the most important part of the subculture

But if you've been doing your research you already knew that. Now let's get into what a lot of people call the fun stuff: the music and the fashion

SECOND: The Music

There are a Lot of different subgenres of punk music, the most famous being punk rock and folk punk. I subscribe more to punk rock because I really enjoy fast music

Bands to look for include: Sex Pistols, Dead Kennedys, Pansy Division, Dog Park Dissidents, Cheap Perfume, Mommy Long Legs, Gang Green, The Germs, Rage Against the Machine, G.L.O.S.S., X-Ray Spex, The Cramps, Circle Jerks, Crass, Limp Wrist, and Pure Hell

Of course there's a lot more but those are some staples plus some of my personal favorites. You can find my personal punk playlist here

Overall the sound is Loud and it is Angry. There are many songs about killing cops and hating capitalism and it fucks. If you like funky basslines, sick ass drums, angry yelling, and shredding guitars this music is for you

PART THREE: The Fashion

Okay, okay, I had to save the quote unquote best for last. Imo the fashion of punk is the most diy out of almost any other subculture

Literally anything you can get your hands on can become fashion. Steal what you can, pick up shit off the side of the road, and if you can't/don't know how to do something get a friend in the scene to either teach you or commission them or something

Brands? The fuck is that, the only brands you need to know are Rit fabric dye, goodwill, etsy (sometimes), your local craft store, and a good spike maker (I don't deal with spikes currently so I have no good resources for them, so other punks feel free to chime in!)

Want cool metal shit? Take apart cans and turn them into spikes. Take a lighter apart and use those metal bits. Steal safety pins from walmart.

Want/need to sew something? Yarn and a tapestry needle if you can't get/don't want to use dental floss. When sewing patches do a straight stitch around followed by a hobo stitch around again and that shit will stay forever. Alternatively pin patches on with safety pins, this works pretty well in a pinch

Fabric paint is your best friend!!! Start with a white base layer and the colors will be much more vibrant. Don't think you have painting skills? Doesn't matter, you're punk and you have the audacity to wear whatever you make with pride

Invest in a leather jacket. I don't mean in terms of money, I got mine at goodwill for ten bucks. But it will change your life. I recommend getting two: one to keep plain and one to diy. Also flannels are good for diy and can also be made into vests for warm weather very easily.

Both of these flannels I decorated myself in a matter of hours. If I can do it, so can you

Also! When you cut the sleeves off of a flannel you can use the extra fabric to make diy pockets :3

PART FOUR: Community and Conclusion

So this is kind of my close out section lol

I'm not sure what kind of discord communities exist for true punk culture, so if anyone has one they wanna promote feel free

Do some research on local punk bands in your area, get your friends together and diy outfits for a concert, or just to wear. The world is your punk oyster, and as long as you or other people aren't getting hurt you can do whatever you want forever

Plz use this post to find other punks so we can start gaining more community (I'm totally not desperate lol)

[indifferent-depravity]

heyyy <3 for yandere!Richie, maybe him thinking reader is his last chance, so he knows he needs to keep them around and take advantage. get them to move in, knock them up, keep them with him forever. he wants eva to have a little sibling she can bond with! and it wouldn’t hurt to make tiff jealous. he’s just so sure he’s old and you’re naive enough to fall into his trap. maybe reader is young, a family friend or a Berzatto, freshly out of college, a virgin, sort of clueless, and works at the beef/bear? feel free to write whatever comes to mind! doesn’t have to have smut at all! thank you :))

Minors DNI 18+

Warnings: abusive relationship, age gap, rape (fade to black), pregnancy

A/N: This one's a long one!! And as always don't forget requests for everything are open so if you'd like to see anything from me feel free to drop it in my ask box :)

buy me a coffee!

help me escape abuse

my Etsy shop

Part 1, Part 2

~~~

“Damn sweetheart, where you been hiding all that ass!”

You yelp as a hand cracks down on your ass, spinning around to glare at Richie as he quickly turns around, pretending to be busy. You press your lips together and glance at the kitchen where you can see Mikey, shoulders slumping as the scolding remark you wanted to say sticks in your throat. You shoot Richie a warning look before turning around to greet the customer that just walked in.

The customer hands you a couple of bills to pay for her order and you open the register, quickly counting the change with practiced ease. Richie squeezes your ass right as you go to hand the change to the customer, causing the coins to clatter onto the counter. You swear and help the customer pick them up, handing her the receipt with a sheepish smile, “Sorry about that! Talk about butterfingers!” You say with a forced laugh, glaring at Richie from the corner of your eye.

You keep a smile plastered on your face until the customer leaves, immediately whirling around to face Richie, your voice barely above a whisper as you hiss, “The fuck, Cousin? You can’t be doing that while I’m working! And what about Tiff? Or-or Mikey? Do you really think either of them needs that shit right now?”

Richie leans closer to you, his lips brushing over the shell of your ear as he runs his hand over your ass again, “That bitch is officially not my wife anymore, and you, baby bear, god haven’t you filled out nicely.” He groans and coldness trickles down your spine at his words, your breath quickening as he squeezes your ass again.

“Cousin! I ain’t payin’ you to play grab ass with people, get your ass in here!”

Mikey’s voice echoes from the kitchen and Richie slips away with a chuckle, leaving you frozen at the counter. The bell above the door chiming startles you from your trance and you take a deep breath, nervously adjusting your uniform as you plaster a fake smile on your face to greet the new customer.

Later that day Richie decides to bother you again. You eye him warily, waiting until Mikey comes into view to bend over, ripping open the box of napkins in front of you. You start restocking the shelves behind the counter, banging your head against the counter as Mikey’s booming laugh startles you. Looking back, you see Richie thrusting his hips towards your ass, his hands hovering in the air like he was holding your hips.

You let out a scoff and haphazardly stuff the rest of the napkins onto the shelf, moving to stand up, “You guys are so fucking juvenile!” Mikey lets out another laugh, watching the scene for another moment before walking out of the room. Richie properly grips your hips before you can fully stand up, dragging you back against his hips. Your breath leaves you in a rush as you feel his dick harden against you and you rip his hands off you, hurrying away from him as he laughs.

~~~

You eye Mikey warily when he starts putting his jacket on in the middle of cleaning The Beef, “Mikey, we still got like half the kitchen to sanitize, the fuck you going?”

He flashes you a grin, bending down to kiss the top of your head, “Don’t worry about it, baby bear, you and Cousin can finish up tonight and I’ll make it up to you. Promise.” You grumble but he ignores it, pulling you into a quick hug on his way out the door.

You sink your hands back into the dishwater, trying to ignore the spiders of paranoia creeping up your back. Richie sidles up next to you, his hands coming to rest on your hips and you glare at him. His laugh sends shivers down your spine as he pulls you back against him, “Guess it’s just me and you tonight, huh?”

“Yeah a real fuckin’ party,” You deadpan, trying to ignore the way the rigid line of his cock presses against your ass. His hands creep between your thighs and you shake him off, turning to glare at him properly. “C-Cousin, you need to stop.” You say, trying to sound firm as you push him away, “This is wrong.”

He laughs quietly, holding his hands up in surrender as he steps back, “I don’t see what’s wrong about it, babe. We’re both single, adults and you know Mikey would love having me as a brother-in-law.” He brushes his lips against your cheek, “Just think about how happy it would make him.”

You shudder, gripping the sides of the sink as he walks away, tears burning behind your eyes. You take a shaky breath, turning to put the last load of dishes into the sanitizer as you try to push the event from your mind.

You wring out a rag, moving to wipe down the counters when Richie’s arm wraps around your waist, pulling you against his chest. “Rich-“ he clamps his hand over your mouth before you can protest, shushing you quietly as his hand wanders to the top of your pants.

“C'mon baby, don’t be like that. I just wanna show you how special you are to me.” Richie plunges his hand into your pants with a groan, “Just let me show you some love, hm?”

~~~

You’re shaking as you enter The Beef to help with opening, skittishly glancing around you as if that would keep Richie from sneaking up on you. Mikey claps his hand on your shoulder making you jump, letting out a startled squeak at the sudden touch. Your heart pounds as you twist around, letting out a relieved sigh at the sigh of your brother, “Jesus Christ, Mikey, you scared the shit outta me!”

He laughs, wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulders, “Sorry, baby bear, figured you heard me come in.” You wrap your arms around his middle, burying your face into his chest as you breathe in his familiar scent. “So, Cousin told me about last night,” He starts casually and you stiffen against him, heart jumping into your throat as he continues, “He’s a good guy, baby bear, I know he’ll make you happy.”

You pull away to give him a forced smile, avoiding his eyes as you take a step away from him, “Yeah, I-I’m glad you’re okay with it.” He leans down to brush his lips against your forehead before disappearing into the office and you wrap your arms around your stomach protectively, doubling over as you try to calm your breathing.

~~~

You’re still shaken by the time you reach Tiffany’s apartment, giving her a tight-lipped smile when she opens the door with Eva on her hip. Her eyebrows pinch together in concern, “Honey, is everything alright? We can just reschedule if you’re not feeling good!”

You avoid her eyes by busying yourself with taking your jacket off, reluctant to tell her what’s been happening. You shoot her a smile, holding your hands out to take Eva, “I’m okay! Just a little sore from work, we were pretty busy today.” You grin at Eva, slipping into the high-pitched voice that’s always reserved for kids, “Hiya, munchkin! You ready to hang out with Auntie Bear?” She giggles and lets Tiffany transfer her to your arms without a fuss, wrapping her tiny arms around your neck in a vice grip.

“Okay, we’ll be out late so you’ll need to give her her bath and put her to bed. There’s money on the counter for pizza and of course, you are more than welcome to raid our fridge.” Tiffany says with a little laugh as she slips her shoes on.

She pauses for a moment to look you over, shooting you a concerned look, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

You laugh and bounce Eva against your hip with a grin, “How could I not be okay getting to hang out with my favorite girl in the whole world?” You nuzzle your nose against her cheek and she erupts with giggles. Tiffany sighs, still looking concerned when Frank immerges from their bedroom, resting his hand on the small of her back.

“We gotta get going if we want to beat the traffic.”

She nods, finally taking her eyes off you as Frank helps her into her coat. She grabs her purse and turns to Eva, pressing a kiss to her head, “Okay, Mommy loves you!” She waves goodbye as Frank urges her out of the door and you return it, pushing the door shut behind them.

“Alright! Who wants pepperoni on their pizza?”

~~~

You stand in the middle of The Beef, your eyes stinging from crying as you look around the empty restaurant. You couldn’t believe it. Your big brother is dead, lying in a morgue downtown and the restaurant he worked so hard on stands barren and cold. You hear the scuff of boots on the linoleum behind you and you turn to see Richie hovering in the doorway, shoulders drawn in as grief weighs him down.

You press your lips together as a fresh wave of tears fills your eyes and you throw yourself at him, squeezing your arms around his waist as you sob, “I can’t believe he’s really gone. I-I can’t-” Your words are lost as you sob harder and you press your face against his chest.

Richie takes a shuddering breath and wraps his arms around you, gently petting your hair, “It’s okay, baby, I miss him too.” His voice is thick with unshed tears as he leans down to press a kiss to the top of your head, “Let’s get you home, okay? You need to get some sleep.”

You pull away with a hiccup, roughly wiping tears from your eyes, “I-I can’t, the apartment doesn’t feel right without him. All of his stuff is still-” You let out a shaky breath, “Can I- can I crash with you? Just for tonight?”

He gives you a small smile and nods, pulling you into another hug, “Yeah, of course, you can always stay with me. Let me take you home now, yeah?” You nod and he guides you out of the restaurant with a gentle touch to the small of your back. The silence is almost suffocating when you get in his car, hearts heavy with grief as he drives home.

You hover next to Richie as he unlocks the door, holding it open for you with a comforting smile and you return it with a shaky smile of your own, stepping into his cluttered living room. You look around and let out a little laugh when you spot laundry strewn across the floor, “What is it with boys and having laundry everywhere? I fought with… with Mikey at least once a week because I kept finding his dirty underwear in the living room.” Your face contorts in sadness, eyes burning as you try to will the tears away. Richie touches your back and you let out a sob laced with a laugh, looking back at him, “I would do anything to have that fight with him again… pretty stupid, huh?”

He shakes his head and your face crumples, a tear finally escaping down your cheek. Richie sighs and pulls you against him, resting his chin on top of your head as you cry quietly. He carefully guides you to the couch, letting you tuck your face against his neck as he pulls you into his lap.

You sigh, tears slowing as the warmth from his body sinks into yours. You close your eyes, almost being able to imagine the arms curled around you were Mikey’s as Richie’s scent that was so close to Mikey’s envelops you.

A whimper slips from your throat as Richie slowly slides his hand over your leg. You push at his hand, trying to stop his movements but he shushes you, settling his hand on the apex of your thighs, “Don’t worry, baby bear, Cousin’s got you.”

Fresh tears slide down your face and you curl your fingers into his shirt, squeezing your eyes shut as he slips his hand into your pants.

~~~

Richie’s quiet as he watches you move around his kitchen when your phone lights up, a text from your landlord appearing on the screen.

Landlord 💀 4:50 pm

Your lease ends at the end of the month, can I count on you to sign on for another year?

His eyebrows raise, eyes flashing up to study you curiously for a moment before piping up, “I think your landlord just texted you, something about your lease?” You hum in acknowledgment, wiping your hands on a dish towel before picking your phone up.

You let out a sigh and type out a quick reply before setting your phone face down, ignoring when it vibrates against the surface. “She wants me to sign a new lease and… I don’t know, it’s different there without Mikey.” You turn back to the food you’re preparing, starting to chop an onion as you continue, “I’ll probably sign one anyway, I can’t afford rent anywhere else.”

Richie scoffs softly, “Why do you need to sign a new lease? You’re already here most nights, just move in.” Your knife slips off the onion at his response and you let out a quiet hiss as the blade barely misses your fingers. You set the knife down with a sigh, leaning on your hands against the counter.

“I-I don’t know, Cousin… I mean, I like having my own space and I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

He moves to stand behind you, squeezing your shoulders gently, “Take the spare room, then. You know I love having you here and Eva definitely loves having you here. I think she’d go crazy if you moved in.” At the little girl’s name, you turn to look at him, a small smile tugging on your lips.

You stare at each other for a moment before you finally shake your head with a small laugh, “Alright, alright I’ll move in.” You agree, throwing your hands up in defeat, “Playing dirty, using your daughter as a bargaining chip.”

He laughs and presses a kiss to your cheek, wrapping his arms around your waist in a tight hug, “As if she wouldn’t do it herself if she was here.” He rests his chin against your shoulder with a smile, “She’ll be so happy that we can be a proper family now.”

~~~

You set down the last box from the moving truck on the coffee table, stretching your arms over your head with a loud groan. “God, I am never moving again.” You say with a laugh, looking over the collection of boxes littering Richie’s living room. Your living room.

Richie snorts as he rips a box open, replying teasingly, “Good thing I plan on keeping you.” He leans in for a kiss and you giggle, pressing your lips against his for a moment before you turn away to open another box.

His words cause a strange pit in your stomach and you try to shake it off, your words stilted as you answer, “Yeah, I really do appreciate you for letting me move in. It was weird living alone after so long.”

Richie smirks, “I can think of a couple of ways you can show me that appreciation, baby.” He jokes, wiggling his eyebrows at you and you stiffen for a moment, unwrapping a mug with unnecessary force.

“Oh I bet you can, perv!” You force out a laugh as you joke back, burying yourself into unpacking things as you try to forget his words.

As you slide the final book next to a collection of children’s books you let out a long sigh, a warm feeling washing over you as you take in the sight of your things mixed with Richie’s and Eva’s. You drop down onto the couch with a groan and rest your head against the back, eyes slipping closed as tiredness sinks into your bones. You’re too tired to react when Richie crowds you against the armrest, draping an arm over your shoulders, “So. How’s it feel to be officially living here?”

You shift uncomfortably as his hand slides down your side, fingers digging into the swell of your breast for a moment. “P-pretty great, I’m really happy to be here with you.” You say, voice artificially bright as you convince yourself to accept his touch.

Your breath hitches as his hand disappears beneath your shirt and teases his fingers along the waist of your jeans. Richie leans down, pressing kisses along your neck as he murmurs, “I think we should go christen the house, what do you think?”

Your breathing is ragged as you carefully pull his hand out of your shirt, “I-I think we should just get some sleep, it was a long day.” You move to stand and Richie catches the back of your shirt, easily pulling you back down.

In a swift movement, he has you pinned underneath him, hand pressing over your mouth to cut off your protests as he growls, “Not gonna get away from me this time, babe.” His other hand drops down to unbuckle his belt as he leans in until his nose brushes against yours, “I think it’s time we make this official.”

~~~

“Eva, honey, it’s time to get ready for bed!” You call out, hurriedly wiping the counters down. You hear her protest and you sigh, hands shaking as you mentally calculate how much needs to get done before Richie comes home before stepping into the living room.

Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes as you crouch down next to Eva, “Sweetie, it’s time to brush your teeth and get changed into pajamas.” She whines, giving you an exaggerated pout as she continues scribbling over the coloring page.

“I’m not tired! And I want Daddy to tuck me in!” Her voice pierces your ears and you wince as a throbbing ache builds behind your eyes.

“I know you do but Daddy had to work late.” You sigh and place your hands over Eva’s, forcing her to stop. “Eva it’s time for bed. If you go brush your teeth and change into pajamas right now, I’ll let you watch a movie in bed.”

Eva’s bottom lip wobbles as tears fill her eyes and she rips her hands from under yours, roughly pushing you, “No! You’re not my mommy! I want my daddy!” Your breath gets knocked out of you as you land hard on your ass and you press your lips into a thin line, chest heaving as you try to stay calm.

“Eva, go brush your teeth. Now.” Your voice is surprisingly calm as you rise to your feet. Eva pouts and crosses her arms, turning her back to you. You take a shaky breath and tears burn the back of your eyes as she ignores you. “Alright, bedtime then.” You stoop down and easily lift her into your arms, dodging her flailing limbs as you walk to her room.

You set her on the bed and press a kiss to her forehead, tucking her in the best you could with her squirming with a quiet, “I love you, Eva.” You make sure her night light is on and flick the overhead light off, shutting the door behind you. Then the crying starts. A heartbreaking, ear-piercing wail that makes your eyes overflow with tears and you slide to the floor, burying your face in your hands. Your head is pounding by the time her cries taper off into sniffles.

She’s finally asleep when you hear the front door open and you quickly stand up, wiping away stray tears left on your face as you move to greet Richie. He smiles at you and bends down to peck your lips, “how were my girls today?”

He looks around the room, frowning as he spots the half-done chores. Your heart skips a beat as you try to explain, “E-Eva wouldn’t stop clinging to me this morning and had a tantrum when I put her to bed, so I-I didn’t manage to get as much done as I wanted to.”

“That’s no excuse.”

You gape at his words, opening your mouth to defend yourself when his hand shoots out and grabs your hair, forcing your head back, “You’re a mother now, baby, you can’t neglect your duties just because Eva’s being a handful.”

You whimper in pain, reaching up to pry his fingers out of your hair, “Richie please, I’m trying, I just need a little-little help. You know how much I love Eva but she knows I’m not her mom and doesn’t want to listen to me sometimes.”

He scoffs and throws your head away, your head swimming as you stumble, falling to the floor when you try to regain your balance. “You’re pathetic, you know that? You’re just gonna let a 5-year-old dictate your life?” He asks with a mocking tone as he undoes his belt, slowly drawing it out of the loops on his jeans. Your heart jumps into your throat as he folds the belt in half, tapping it against his palm. “You know what I have to do now, right?”

“Richie, don’t, please.” Your voice cracks as you plead with him and he lets out a cold laugh, crouching in front of you to squeeze your face.

“I’m doing this for your own good, baby. I’m just trying to teach you, but you’re so fucking stubborn that this is the only way.” His voice sounds almost sympathetic as he shoves your face away, rising back to his full height.

The first strike hits your side and the air is knocked out of you, making you wheeze as you try to catch your breath. The next strike makes you cry out and clamp a hand over your mouth, not wanting Eva to wake up. You use your free hand to help you struggle to your knees, reaching out for the dining table to pull yourself up. Your hand slips as Richie tuts, kicking you away from the table. He laughs with disbelief, “How are you going to learn if you run away when I’m trying to teach you? Hm?” He punctuated his words with strikes of his belt, letting it fall from his hand when you grow still beneath him.

Richie crouches next to you, gripping your hair to make you look at him, “Now, I expect you to finish the chores before coming to bed. Understand?” You give him a shaky nod and he smiles, leaning to kiss you, “There we go, I only do this because I love you so much, you know that right? I just want to bring out the best in you.” You force a smile as a tear slips down your face and he releases your hair, leaving you on the floor as he leaves the room.

~~~

It takes three months and having Natalie announce her pregnancy to finally realize you haven’t had a period in months. You’re tearful as you pull Natalie into the office for privacy, finally managing the words, “I think I’m pregnant.”

Natalie squeals gleefully and pulls you into a tight hug, “Oh baby bear! Our kids will get to grow up and go to school together!” You hug her back, pressing your face into her shoulder as you try to draw comfort from your big sister.

“Isn’t- isn’t it a little early? I mean I’m not even 22 yet, what if I-” Your words get stuck in your throat and you tighten your arms around her, “What if I’m not ready to be a mom and I fuck it up?”

Natalie lets out a quiet “oh” as she pulls back and cups your face, giving you a sympathetic look, “You’re amazing with Eva! It won’t be any different with your own little one, and you’ll have Richie to help you!” You force a smile and nod at her, pulling her into another hug.

You’re skittish when Richie gets home from working on The Bear, flinching at the slightest movement as you set the table for dinner. You busy yourself with making sure Eva eats, barely touching your food as anxiety ties your stomach into knots. Eva gives you a food-filled smile and you giggle softly, gently pushing her hair back from her face.

You glance over at Richie, forcing a casual tone as you say, “How would you feel about cleaning out that spare room?”

He snorts, eyeing you suspiciously, “You gotta give me some context here, babe, what do you want with it?”

Your eyes return to Eva as you keep your casual tone, “Oh, you know… The baby will need their own space at some point, don’t you think?” His fork clatters against his plate at the same time as Eva lets out a screech.

“You’re having a baby?” She asks excitedly, wiggling away from the table to press her hands against your stomach.

You let out a laugh, catching Richie’s gaze as you nod, covering Eva’s hands, “Yeah, you’re going to have a little brother or sister soon.” Eva makes a disgusted noise at the thought of getting a brother but continues to stare at your stomach in amazement, pressing her hands harder against you as if that would let her touch the baby.

Richie pushes away from the table with a loud screech of chair legs against the floor, moving to crouch next to your chair. He presses his hand on top of yours, unshed tears shining in his eyes as he looks up at you. You give him a smile, leaning down to press your lips against his in a slow kiss, giggling against his lips as Eva lets out a loud, “Ew!”

[knottybliss]

It’s not fire, but it’s something that might keep you warm! In a fit of habitat-unfucking I have pulled together an bunch of projects I have finished that now sit around my house, unworn and yearning for shoulders to hug. Perhaps they will be yours?

This is a Make Me An Offer shawl sale! I’ll give a rough account of what it should be put up for in my Etsy store, accounting for materials and time spent at my current wage, but I am open to offers.

Shawl 1: Dracula Daily

IDK if you’re reading along like I am, but I’m pretty sure we have all had some Dracula Daily posts drift down our dash over the past few months. I decided to make a shawl roughly inspired by both the story and the experience; this one is of my own design.

The body of the shawl is a ripple pattern, the way the phenomenon of this collective group reading has ripples through this site, and brown in the process as this shawl grows from one end to the other. The edges are jagged as the Carpathoans in which the tale begins; the yarn becomes darker as the story deepens. And of course it culminates in blood.

Wool, $30 in yarn and probably 10 hours of work. Math would put it at $270, but you can deforest make me an offer for less.

Shawl 2: I Pink I’m Sick Of This

The beginning of 2022 saw me very ill, moreso than anyone else in the household. This project gave me something to focus on, to keep awake during the day in case I was needed and to keep my hands productive.

The shawl, like my time out of work, ended up far longer than expected. If I drape it over my shoulders (I am 5’2”), nearly a foot on each end trails on the floor.

Silk and alpaca yarn, $26. Time worked unknown, but assuming an average of 5 hours daily for two weeks, 70 hours. $1706.

Let us giggle riotously at that together, and then you can feel free to lowball the shit out of this one.

Shawl 3: Miss Spider Will Be Green With Envy

There isn’t much of a story to this one; the yarn is a Lana Grossa cotton linen that I grabbed on sale for I think $12 a couple years ago. I tried and frogged a couple different patterns because I didn’t like the drape before settling on this one - it had a nice drape and flow.

Hours worked probably…idk, somewhere in the 10-15 range? Let’s say 10, which means it would go in the shop for around $250. But you don’t want to pay that much, so offer me a different amount instead.

My phone is getting kludgy; time to post, reboot, and add more shawls. Check back shortly!

[malinastharlock]

I would say that covers kinks not so much your dirtiest fantasy

Okay so I have had a lot of time to think about this and it is going to sound intense so yeah,

TW: Hardcore Trans Intercourse

So my dirtiest fantasy involves me becoming friends with a large group of trans friends, let's say 10 or so and it's a good mix of masc fem and enbys. After a while they all seem to just love being around me and they find out I'm basically an "internet attention girl" (✿◠‿◠) . They politely ask me if I would like to have some "fun" and all of them are eagerly looking at me and of course I say, R'lyeah! So they invite me to a Hotel room and give me a cute Miku cosplay outfit to wear and I change in the bathroom. After I come out of the bathroom I notice they are all naked and some have huge monster straps on, like monster toys you'd find on Etsy, and they are all looking at me with hungry eyes. It starts of soft and subtle with plenty of kissing and a lot of groping. After a while of getting warmed up I start getting them all nice and wet. One of them bends me over and start eating me out while I'm still in my outfit but I feel cute and dirty as fuck at the same time. I feel them start to finger me and loosen me up. While deep throating one I notice another one bust out a huge industrial drum of cum lube and my eyes widen as I realize exactly what's cumming next. 😏 oh yeah, I'm about to look like a German Goo Girl on a Saturday night. (Shit this is getting hard to write 🥵) um yeah, so they start to lube up my freshly loosened fuck hole and they all descend upon me like a pack of horny wolves. There are cocks, girl cocks, monster cocks, and man holes taking their time with me and being the king I am I make sure to satisfy each and every one of them. I have copious amounts of different fluids pouring out of me, all over me, and everywhere in between. My holes have never felt so loose in my life and I'm proud to be a dripping mess. My girl cock itself has never seen so much attention and I love every second of it. I lose track of how many orgasms I've had and how many I've even given to everyone else, the party goes on for hours until I just can't take anymore. Before I pass out from pure ecstasy overload we all start to calm down and everyone by now is a quivering mess especially me. 😈 We huddle together to take a post fuck frenzy nap, at least untill we all wake up, clean up, and go right back at it untill hotel security starts banging on the door yelling we're being too loud. Lol they're just jealous they weren't invited. 🤣 At the end of it all my outfit is a stiff/sticky mess and I get to keep it and wear it home as is. 😈 Talk about a making memories with friends.

So yeah 😳👉👈 that has got to be my dirtiest fantasy.

[brella-boi]

Building Dango: Part 4

We're so far in and still have so fucking much to do. I am fearing I may not have this guy made in time. Which I'll have to stomach through clenched teeth.

We're moving on to priming. And I'll be using Flexbond for this. I previously used a spray version, which fucking stinks. (If any of you guys remember the making of my kenku fursuit then you remember the horrors of gassing my family.)

This is odourless and I can slap quite thick bits of it on there.

It's water based and kinda smells like PVA glue (suspicious...) but honestly it worked wonders. I was hoping it would cover up the majority of roughness and imperfections, and with three coats, it did mostly that! Kudos to my friend for pointing me in the direction of this substance.

It took about 3-4 hours to dry on each coat, and I could safely do it inside. Unfortunately there are paintbrush streaks. But I can stomach that.

In between waiting for the coats to dry, I got to work on the eyes. I'm using this mesh as the base. It's nice and thick, does have a bend to it, and has fantastic view through the many holes in it. And since it's already black, I only need to paint the pupil. Though I have also painted a set of eyes for a friend that were fully painted and they looked fine too. Poking any clogged up holes IS a chore though, so to make sure there's as little of that as possible, you gotta water down your acrylic paint and slowly work your way up with coats. I haven't tried dried brushing it, mainly because that method is quite messy, and watered down colour worked better for me.

However, this didn't go without a tragedy. While trying to get the paint to dry faster, I often use a hairbrush. But. Well I was holding the mesh up in the air and drying it. And I guess I held the hairbrush too close and it bent the metal just enough to make dents from where my fingers held it. And. Unfortunately. Begudgingly. I could not restore the mesh back. So I had to paint the second eye all over again. So if you're drying with a hairbrush- do so on a flat surface.

For the JAW.

And here's where I start to realise I'm doing this backwards.

For the Jaw I will be using chicago screws. Originally I was going to use this hinge I got off etsy from a polish maker:

But Dango's head is already quite. Tight. And these would add another centimeter on each side of the head and there's just not enough space for that- nor do I think they would fit actually....

SO HERE WE ARE: CHICAGO SCREWS.

Chicago screws are originally used for leather work, and come in various sizes. The main body of the screw is sleek, so the jaw can freely move around on the middle part, while the actual tube is hollow with end being the 'screw' part. This screw part will be inside the jaw so I can freely unscrew it if I ever need to. While two pieces of my high density foam are about 2cm in thickness when smooshed together, I opted for 17mm thick screws instead. Which meant I head to drill holes, then indents into those holes, to make sure the screws fit in.

I did this because A: the flat part of the screw is going to poke through to the outer layer of the skull that will not have fabric covering it. It needs to be flush with the skull so that its not as easily seen. I made it sink into the foam by another 1-2mm so I could then cover it in sculpting foam and then.... prime it again. Like an egit. Anyway. And B: I didn't want the screws to poke me into my cheeks. Even though they're flat, Id rather drill into the foam and have it flush against it then poke out and be texture hell yanno?

Always test the drill bits on scraps though before you commit to the real deal! It took me a while to get the hang of the actual drill bit of my rotary carver, but in the end I was confident in actually drilling the mask.

ISN'T THIS CLEAN. God I'm so proud of it.

So I was drilling again after priming shit. I should've done this before the priming stage. But tbf they only arrived in the mail after I primed so. Whatever. (spoiler: this isnt the last time I pull out the fucking carver)

THE JAW IS HINGED.

And we continue working....