#Form Activity Motion Ep

[amarriageoftrueminds]

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Since it came up recently, link to that therapist on twitter 👆 who was discussing Bucky's terribile therapist in TFATWS and how they should’ve been. 

Transcript:

"As a therapist myself I've had a lot of feelings about Bucky's therapist on TFatWS, and have decided I need to rant a little to let it all out. I've worked w/active duty, trauma survivors, and court ordered clients, so here's some therapeutic conjecture on Bucky's therapy:

Aesthetically her office and presentation don't fit for someone who has been through the trauma that he’s been through. A client like this would need something non-threatening and safe- the whole vibe is overly formal and official in an office building, not at all therapeutic.

6 months working together she calls him Mr. Barnes and then James-he has identity issues and is struggling with who he is, so I think that one of the 1st things they would have done is figure out what he is comfortable being called, by whom and what that means for him.

He is still full out lying to her about pretty much everything including PTSD sx—I’m not saying clients never lie if they have good therapists, but if after 6 months he still doesn’t feel like he can be truthful at all then they haven’t built any trust/ solid therapeutic rapport

The pen and notebook thing-that’s clearly a trigger for him, there’s no reason to antagonize him and take notes in session like a punishment, it’s a power play on her part and it only emphasizes his lack of control in being forced into therapy (she should know his hx w/notebooks)

The whole little arm motion she made when she said “they need to make sure you don’t…” – that made so much light of what has happened to him, he probably feels like his arm is only good as a weapon and things like that will not help him accept it as part of his body

The rules, UGH the rules—from how they were talking about them clearly not something he actively created for himself, more like directives that he’s been ordered to adhere to—something fed to him and reinforced, feels like a way to sign off on liability only

THE AMENDS—this is probably my biggest issue. Amends are for people who need to take accountability for their actions and the repercussions of those choices. He had NO choice. He was a victim of horrific crimes against him, and framing it in a way that he needs to make up for

the crimes that others used him for is abhorrent. The lack of trauma informed care as astounding in the way it is being framed that he has to atone for sins that weren’t his. Its clearly reinforcing the idea in his head in ep 2 when he says “HYDRA were my people".

NO, HYDRA were your captors. They were not your people. That type of thinking needs to get deconstructed and challenged. He can dedicate himself to bringing good into the world and righting wrongs that happened WITHOUT taking on the responsibility of those actions.

Her whole attitude and demeanor were condescending and demeaning. I know some people have said “I love how she calls him out on his bullshit!” That’s not what I see happening. I call my clients out on their shit all the time—this was not that.

And I can only do that with clients ONCE we’ve built the type of relationship where it’s going to be therapeutic for them to hear it, and it’s done intentionally and with purpose. She just came off shaming and mean because they don’t seem to have any form of therapeutic rapport.

She said “you have no history, no family”- there is no therapeutic reason for that, and she’s wrong. He most likely has family alive (he used current tense when talking about his sister) and he was close to Shuri and TChalla, his history is vital to understanding him

When she said “Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back. You are being pardoned. These are good things. You’re free.”—Yeah this feels really dismissive and like toxic positivity. “I know you’ve been through a lot BUT BE HAPPY!!??”

He certainly doesn’t seem to feel like he’s free (especially having therapy mandated), and you can’t just tell someone they’re free. I felt like she was pretty much just like, “shake it off, look to the future!” which feels really shitty when you’ve experienced excessive trauma.

HELLO breach of confidentiality, just introducing herself to Sam as his therapist and confirming it to Walker and the whole police station, it doesn’t matter if they know he’s in therapy you do not break someone’s privacy like that, he still deserves some control over his tx.

Ordering Sam into a session, NO, he’s not your client and you don’t know him well enough to know if that’s appropriate or if it would be harmful to either, and you haven’t asked your client for his consent to have another person in his session

Forcing a trauma victim who was stripped of his bodily autonomy for 70 years into a physically intimate exercise with a coworker that he’s barely interacted with in the last several months? NOPE, just reinforcing to Bucky she has control over him the way his handlers used to

To me, I think she is more focused on signing off on his psychological eval that he isn't a liability rather than any actual healing or attention to his trauma. This unfortunately isn’t unusual in the military where “mental health treatment” is focused on being mission ready.

They are making sure he’s ready to be an “asset” w/ mandated therapy, which he shouldn’t even be forced to do as part of his pardon because he shouldn’t have needed a pardon at all because he was a victim of horrific war crimes, brainwashing, and dehumanization for 70 years.

I’m just saying, if that was me he would be on my big squishy couch, bright open windows, bowl of Hershey kisses, random fidget toys, and two therapy dogs laying all over him while we work through that trauma and he builds back his identity and finds the calm he wants so badly.

And yes he would probably need someone who would see through his BS, call him out when he needs it, not be overly "touchy feely", but only if he feels safe and there is trust, where he gets to work on what HE wants, not what others think he needs.

Anyway thanks for coming to my TEDTalk, I❤️my work and I think being a therapist on retainer for the Avengers would've been a fucking trip, they all needed a team of mental health professionals at their disposal 24/7 and things would've been so much better🤣

ps. They can be a good therapist and just not be a fit for the client, that happens regularly. We know when to make it part of the conversation and when to refer out. Nothing good is going to come out of a contemptuous therapeutic relationship, mandated or not.

pps. That whole situation and the scene with Zemo was so rough. I can't imagine how much it brought back the violation, humiliation, anger, and helplessness of when he was the WS. I'm just imagining him having a therapist he trusts and being able to process that afterwards 😭😭😭"

[rhythymicwriting]

A Voice Like Summer Thunder - Shizaya

I'm considering making this a full length fic. For now, here's the initial drabble. It starts with a recap of Durararax2 ep 12.

“Hey… Who the hell is this?” His voice was low as he spoke into the phone, eyes flicking to the side as if to see the caller. He hadn’t saved the number, so it couldn’t have been a client, but the man spoke about Izaya’s dealings with the Awakusu. More specifically, the man knew he told Akane Awakusu that Shizuo Heiwajima was going to kill her father. Who else would know he’d set Akane on Shizuo? 

Namie?

Nakura?

No, he knew their voices. Izaya had a bad feeling about this. 

The caller laughed. “There’s no need for you to know my name just yet. But as a token of our new friendship, let me offer you an opinion. Or rather,” He corrected. “A warning. You’re a bit too good looking, Izaya.”

“What?” He stopped in his tracks. What the hell did that mean? This wasn’t some stalker creep, was it? Dealing with his breed of clientele put him at risk for that sort of thing and he knew it, but they weren’t usually this forward. Izaya couldn’t help being a little bit intrigued by the mystery call, however unsettling it may be. 

“It makes you stand out in a crowd,” The caller explained. “So in your case, blending in isn’t really an ideal way for you to hide. Besides, you’re looking kind of stressed.” Izaya tensed. Hold on, that voice on the phone…

It was coming from behind him. 

“I think a nap would do you a world of good.” A shoulder slammed into his own, the man using his momentum to drive something sharp through Izaya’s jacket. Cold metal burst through his warm skin, searing pain running through his torso. His breath caught, a strangled grunt the only sound he could make as the man walked through him, knocking Izaya off balance.

He stumbled, watching the caller walk ahead of him. It was only for a moment, though, before motion on his own shirt caught his eye. A dark stain formed on the cloth, sticking it against Izaya’s skin. As he watched the stain grow, he realized he still hadn’t regained his balance. 

He was tipping.  

The phone clattered from his hand, call still active, as Izaya dropped to his knees. His arms were too slow to catch him and he fell the rest of the way to the ground, coarse asphalt scraping his cheek. 

“Oh and since you asked,” The man’s words were intelligible, but it was a struggle, pain deadening Izaya’s brain. He fought to focus on the call, ignoring the sound of murmurs and his own pained groans. “My name is Jinnai Yodogiri and I’m pleased to make your acquaintance.”

“Damn,” He cursed. Izaya wriggled, trying to pull himself toward the phone, his fingers brushing the plastic case, but every motion caused agonizing fireworks to blossom in his side, their fiery tendrils snaking through his nervous system. 

“Gotta… Get a hold of… Namie.” He groaned. Man, it was hard to breathe. The ground was slick beneath him, the usual grip of asphalt lost to the ruby pool. Countless city lights reflected off the surface, falling flat against his clothing where the liquid seeped. 

Izaya’s sight was blurred, the phone a glowing smear against the dull pavement. His fingers, finally reaching, fumbled the device, muscle memory guiding him more than his own will. It was lucky he’d even opened his contacts. 

“Hello?” You’re kidding. Even dazed with pain, he recognized that voice. Izaya stayed quiet. “Is someone there?”

The line was quiet for a moment more. Shit. If he kept waiting like this, Izaya might actually bleed out. How humiliating would that be. The great Izaya of Shinjuku, bleeding to death on an Ikebukuro crosswalk. Would it be worse than asking this monster for help?

For a vital, life saving second, Izaya decided it was.

“I’m…I need help.”

A tongue clicked on the other end. “What? Why’re you botherin me?”

“Please,” The word felt like bile in his mouth. Apparently, pride really does evaporate when you’re stabbed. “I’m…bleeding.” He groaned again. His breath was shallow, blood bubbling from the wound with every inhale, pain rocketing through his abdomen. 

The phone stayed quiet. The world grew darker and brighter, all at once. Izaya’s vision tunneled at the edges, a dizzying vignette softening the city, but pin prick stars burned his retinas. The sound of the crowd around him buried his thoughts, a muddled knot running through his head instead of their usual ordered lines. 

“Well? Answer me, damn it!” The coarse sound stuck out of the noise, drawing his attention back to the blurry screen. He drew the screen toward his face, whatever word that may have been written there moved from too-far-away blurry to too-close blurry. 

“What?” His voice drawled, pulling like molasses from his chest, words heavy on his tongue. 

“Shit.” The voice grumbled, angry at repeating its question. “Where are you?”

“Um.” Izaya’s eyes flicked around lazily, but there was little for them to pick up, their lids too heavy to lift. “Ikebukuro.”

The voice rose in volume. “That doesn’t hel-” 

Another voice murmured something, the phone sliding gently from Izaya’s hand. He was aware of the pull at his shoulders, lifting him only high enough to slide across the ground, but he was distracted by the pain shooting through his middle. 

Izaya felt himself lain on his side against cooler pavement, a softer muttering playing above his head, sticking out from the crowd, but no more coherent. City lights flared, excruciating pain igniting in his abdomen. A woman leaned over him, her arms arrow straight as she pressed on his wound. Izaya coughed. He heard what might have been ‘sorry.’ His phone was on speaker, balanced on his leg. She’d taken over the call. Her hands stayed steady, shoved against his side, the burning pain fading behind a cozy cloud of exhaustion.

The gentle, steady buzz of what he guessed was a phone call lulled him into a foggy dusk, bright, burning lights fizzling out. 

*

When fuzzy white light burned orange through his eyelids, Izaya assumed he was waking up in a hospital. Antiseptic smell, thin sheets, hard mattress, yes, this had to be a hospital. He breathed deep, flinching when his stretch pulled at a raw wound. Nerves flared from his hip to his sternum. “Ugh.” He rolled onto his side, pushing himself up. “Being stabbed blows.”

“Huh?” Rich colored wood greeted him as he opened his eyes. He still smelled antiseptic, paper thin sheets were still draped over his legs, but he realized this wasn’t a hospital. Fuzzy light shone through bamboo blinds. A generic yellow ceiling light hung above his head, pale in comparison to the harsh outside gleam. 

Izaya lay on a makeshift bed in some high end apartment in a makeshift operating room. Realizing this, he knew who was walking through the door before the man was all the way through. Clad in a knee length lab coat despite having no real medical degree and carrying a clear box overflowing with white fabrics was his best friend of eleven years. “Doctor Kishitani, thanks for the hospitality.” He grinned, a teasing glimmer in his eyes. 

“Oh!” The man looked up, brown hair twitching as he stopped. “Celty, he’s awake!” He hollered. Izaya fought the urge to cover his ears. “You shouldn’t be sitting up yet, Izaya. You’ll reopen your wound.”

“Ugh.” He groaned, letting his hair puff around his face as he dropped back down. Pain exploded up his back when he did. As fun as the dramatics were, that fuckin hurt.

Shinra moved to his side, taking his sweet time uncovering him and lifting his shirt. “You know, after all these years, I don’t remember the last time I treated you.” He said, slowly peeling the adhesive bandage off Izaya’s stomach, letting the tape pull the skin. He was doing that on purpose. Izaya’s mood was quickly souring. 

“I do.” Izaya thought reminiscing might distract him from the steady pulling at his hairs, and keep him from throttling this back alley doctor. “It was middle school, wasn’t it? That crazy kid with the gambling addiction.” Izaya hissed, a new burning, true burning, erupting in his side, running from his skin through his kidney and the entire surrounding area. His eyes snapped to Shinra in a fury. 

The doctor stood over him with a frown, a bottle of rubbing alcohol in his hand, a bloody swab pinched in the other. “You’re talking about when I got stabbed, Izaya.”

“Oh was that it?” If he could feel anything other than agony right now, he would have laughed. “Bummer. Ah fuck!”

Shinra had shoved another alcohol soaked swab in his wound. 

“How’d I get here anyway? Shouldn’t I be in a hospital?” Izaya asked. Shinra’s response was slow, hesitant. There was that bad feeling again. 

“Shizuo brought you.”

Izaya’s eyes widened, irritation and confusion bubbling behind them. “What?”

“He didn’t look happy about it either,” Shinra chuckled under his breath. 

The growl to his voice surprised him, Izaya’s words emanating from his chest. “Why?”

Shinra’s head tilted, eyebrows drawn. “He said you called him.”

“What a lousy liar.” Izaya groaned. 

“I need help.” Coarse concrete cooled his cheek as he listened to the low voice in his phone. That familiar voice, every word like a threat he didn’t mean, poured from the speaker, asking questions he hadn’t processed. 

“Where are you?” 

Izaya didn’t remember. “Ikebukuro.”

“That doesn’t help-”

A woman had taken the phone.

“Shit.” Izaya’s breath carried the word without his permission. He had called him. Izaya was stabbed, nearly bled out on the street, and had called Shizuo fucking Heiwajima for help. 

And the bastard actually showed up. 

“You should give him a call. At least let him know you’re alive.”

He groaned. “Why would he care?”

“Izaya,” Shinra stopped his work, hands freezing with fresh bandages. He gave the other a look like a disappointed father, one that said he was one crucial second of self control away from smacking him upside the head. “He carried you all the way here from East Ikebukuro. There was more blood on his shirt than in your body. Call him.”

Shinra held out a small device, the surface lighting up with the movement. Izaya sighed as he took the phone, making quick work of dialing the number. 

*

“Hello?” Low, gravely, but polite, that voice irked him every time. Its owner clearly hadn’t saved his number. Izaya would bet a lot of money he didn’t know how. 

“Hey, Shinra wanted me to let you know I survived.” Shinra shot him a dirty look. God, this felt like being a kid at the park again, his mom making him apologize to a kid he pushed off a swing.  He almost felt like laughing.

The voice changed immediately, sharp, short, ill-tempered. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Heya, Shizu.”

The line stayed quiet. Usually he’d hang up by now. 

“Look, I uh…” Even the thought of what he was trying to say made Izaya’s stomach curdle, his pride slowing his tongue. “Thank you.”

“Oh? What was that?” A smile crept into his voice, lifting at the sharpness in his words. 

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” Izaya groaned. “Thank you for taking me to Shinra’s.”

“You’re welcome.” Good humor made Shizuo chattier than usual, the man no longer debating hanging up and now digging for the story. “How’d you get stabbed anyway?”

Izaya, on the other hand, wanted this conversation over with. “Long story, bad people. Bye bye, Shizu-chan.” He moved swiftly, pulling the phone away from his ear, thumb hovering over the bright red button. 

“Hold on,” Izaya did. The phone traveled back to his ear, albeit held further away. Not that Shizuo was hard to hear. “You, uh… You okay?”

Izaya’s eyebrow twitched. He wasn’t asking about the wound, was he? “Whatever could you mean?”

Shizuo cleared his throat. “You’re not in some shit again, are you?” 

“Aw,” Izaya drawled. “Are you worried about me?”

“Forget I asked.” The phone beeped softly, ringing through the space. The line was dead, Shizuo’s contact info staring back at him instead of the interface. 

“See? That wasn’t so hard.” Shinra gathered his materials, already making his way out. “Lay down and don’t move. I don’t want you hurting yourself again.”

“But Doc, what if I need the bathroom.” Izaya’s characteristic smirk snaking its way onto his face. 

Shinra flicked hair out of his face, his expression flat, but voice teasing. “I’ll give you a catheter.”

Izaya was a little worried he was serious. 

*

“You’re not in some shit again, are you?”

“Aw, are you worried about me?”

“Forget I asked.”

The problem was, Izaya couldn’t forget he’d asked. In fact, the moment replayed in his head over and over again, his brain picking apart and reassembling it, like looking for secrets in a video. 

“You’re not in some shit again, are you?”

He could almost see the man, stopped on the sidewalk, his coworker walking a few strides ahead before wondering why he’d stopped. Tall despite the slouch in his shoulders, black-brown roots exposed by wind that tossed fried blond hair, head tilted into his phone, eyes angled as if making eye contact with the phone might get an honest answer. 

He could picture his face contort, where real concern might have been written, irritation blossomed. 

“Forget I asked” 

And he’d move on without a second thought. 

But why had he asked that? Why did he care? Izaya had been nothing but an obstacle to him since they met. He’d liked it that way. Izaya hated Shizuo and Shizuo hated him back, so what did he care that he was mixed up with the wrong crowd?

Why did he show up that night?

Izaya was reminded time and time again why he hated that monster. While he found fun in watching humanity, there was a part of him that relished the predictability of it all. The struggle, the fear, the anger, it was all a game, but it was a game with rules. 

He knew that if he talked to a girl on the internet in some forum and encouraged her emotions, he could control her, he could guide her into his game. Any person he messed with, he had some amount of control, some amount of influence.

But Shizuo was a raging storm, a natural force he couldn’t sway. No matter what he did, Shizuo always colored outside the lines. He was an outlier. 

And yet, his voice kept playing in Izaya’s head. Over and over again, he asked the same question, that unexpected concern like a broken record. 

It was getting on his nerves. 

Izaya pushed himself upright, taking in the makeshift operating room. Shinra had told him not to move, but there was only so long he was going to stare at that damn ceiling. He wriggled to the side of the bed, ignoring the pulling at his wound. The wooden floor was cold under his feet as he slid off the edge. A weight tugged on his arm, drawing his attention back to the bed. 

“Oh, that’s right.” He muttered. Thin tubing ran from a rack in the corner to the crook of his elbow, clear saline flowing through the plastic. Shinra had replaced the bag during the phone call, but it was almost empty, most of the liquid in Izaya’s bloodstream. A tiny valve created a dam about eight inches from the drip bag. Turning it stopped the flow into Izaya’s arm, a small amount of the liquid remaining in the tube. He drew in a quick breath as his hand drifted up his arm, fingers daintily grasping the tubing. 

He exhaled and ripped the needle from his arm. Izaya let the tubing clatter quietly against the rack as he rifled through a nearby first aid kit. Most of the bandages here were too big. He opted instead to tape a cotton ball over the spot. 

The door cracked open silently as Izaya stuck his head into the hallway. Seeing it was empty, he tread softly into the open. The living room was empty too, with the exception of Celty’s helmet, indicating that the headless woman was somewhere in the apartment, but running water in another room meant she wasn’t going to catch him any time soon. 

His shoes were placed neatly by the door, but his characteristic jacket was nowhere to be seen. “Shit…” Izaya murmured. He would be fine without the jacket, but his knife was in the stash pocket. 

There weren’t any closets near the door that it might have been hidden in, if Shinra had even meant to hide it from him. If he had, his shoes likely wouldn’t be here either. He turned, moving back to the operating room, and stopped in his tracks. 

Light shone around the edges of a knee length lab coat, Shinra blocking his way back into the apartment. “What are you doing out of bed?”

“Bathroom.” Izaya shrugged. He swore he could see a vein pulse in the doctor’s forehead. Standing in the entryway with his shoes on the other side of the apartment from a bathroom probably didn’t help his lie. 

“Izaya, where are you going?”

“I just needed to clear my head. Will you allow me that?”

“You’re looking for your jacket, right?”

“I was, yeah. Don’t want to get chilly.”

Shinra sighed. Heavy fabric collided with Izaya, fur tickling his nose. It was his jacket, lacking its usual weight. His knife wasn’t in it. He sighed, slipping the sleeves over his bare arms. His t-shirt was light, picked to layer under his jacket so he wouldn’t overheat, but it left him pretty cold without the coat. Not that he cared.

“Look, Izaya.” Shinra put his hands in his pockets. “You’re still in critical condition. I’m not gonna stop you, but be careful, okay?”

“Yeah yeah,” Izaya waved a hand, slipping into the hall. 

*

The streetlights were their usual comfortable glow, pale in comparison to that burning star spot from the night before. His eyes were vigilant, flicking amongst the crowd. It was subconscious and it annoyed him. 

These were his people, his family, his playthings, and yet his own mind was betraying him, keeping him vigilant on his own playing field. Unbelievable. One kitten shows its claws and he can’t will himself to relax. 

The crowd moved like water around him, people perfectly spaced for him to pass between them. The city buzz heightened his senses, but it helped to focus his thoughts, honing them on the crowd instead of the noise in his skull. 

A girl was talking on the phone nearby, likely to a partner or a close friend. Her voice was too high, too tight, upset but trying to fight it. What he wouldn’t give to hear that phone call. 

A man passed too close beside him, distracted by the woman to his right. He was talking about drinks. Maybe coworkers? She didn’t look comfortable. It’d be fun to follow them a couple blocks. 

The crowd had parted wider, working around Izaya instead of letting him through. His brows furrowed. That wasn’t right. He wasn’t that well known, was he? “You’re a bit too good looking, Izaya. It makes you stand out in a crowd.” 

He felt himself slowing down, his limbs heavy, thoughts fast. The voices around him were whispers, too quiet to pull him out of his head. Their eyes were nervous, shifting, focused on him. No. 

Something behind him. 

Izaya went ridgid, breath picking up as if he was already running, but his legs wouldn’t move. It felt as if lead were tied around his ankles, cotton in his knees. 

He hadn’t felt fear like this since high school. That’s what this feeling was. He’d almost forgotten it. This was fear. 

“Besides,” 

He could feel the presence behind him now. 

“You’re looking kinda stressed.” 

There was a hand on his shoulder.

“I think a nap…”

“Hey, what are you doing out here?”

“...Would do you a world of good.”

Izaya took off running. Pedestrians stumbled out of his way, his coat flailing behind him as he tore through the waters. This would be a good time to have his knife. Damn it, Shinra. 

“Hey, what the hell?” Part of his brain knew that voice was wrong, it didn’t match, the other part of his brain didn’t care. It was animal fear. Survival. He didn’t care who was chasing him. 

He was not getting caught.

The footsteps behind him were loud, steady, like a heartbeat. They were gaining on him. Fuck. Izaya let his weight fall on his right foot, nearly falling into the mouth of the alley. Eleven years of running for his life had paid off in this respect, movements that would slow others down were a flick of the wrist. He dashed down the alley, foot hooking on a dumpster, hands gripping a balcony rail, working in harmony to propel him upward. In mere moments, Izaya had scaled the side of a low rise apartment, taking his flight along the roof. 

A heavy impact landed not far behind him, his pursuer following him to the rooftop. This guy wasn’t normal, but in his panic, Izaya didn’t care. His abdomen was screaming. If he didn’t lose this guy fast, he might actually pass out up here. 

He leapt over a gap, the rooftops close enough together. At least they looked that way. His foot missed the other side, the toe of his boot catching the edge and slipping out from under him. Shit, this was a far fall. He bucked forward, catching himself on his stomach. 

Izaya coughed, spit flying from his mouth. Pain exploded from his side, rocketing through his entire torso, stretching from his collar to his thigh. He couldn’t get a hold. He was scrabbling for a grip, managing to hold himself despite the struggle. 

Another heavy impact almost shook him loose, the rooftop jostling beneath him. A hand caught his wrist. 

“Shit, no!” The words fled his lips before he thought them. He was drawn onto the rooftop, firmly, but without aggression. He thrashed in their grip, kicking out, hoping to hit anything. 

“Dammit!” His foot connected. The man didn’t budge. “Would you stop that? I’ll drop you!” The growl was familiar. 

His eyes caught polished shoes, the roof beneath them cracked and fractaled. The ghost of a cigarette hung in the air, clinging to the man but no longer with him.

Shizuo pulled Izaya from the edge, setting his feet down on the rooftop. There was fury in his eyes, but he wasn’t acting on it, instead backing away. 

“Why did you run like that?” He was avoiding eye contact, but it ended quickly when he realized Izaya’s only answer was staggered breathing. “Crap, sit down, would ya?”

Shizuo strode forward, grabbing Izaya by the shoulders, leading him to the access shed and sitting him down on the ground. Izaya moved easily, his brain too busy frantically looking for escape. 

“Hey, hey!” Shizuo snapped in front of his eyes, drawing their focus to himself. “Good, breathe.”

Izaya did. He drew in his breath slowly, frustrated by its trembling. If he’d been thinking clearly, he would have exhaled in the man’s face, but his lungs didn’t want to release the air, shaking harder as he breathed out. 

“Jeez,” Shizuo ran a hand through his hair. “You really are an idiot.” He pulled a yellow flip phone from his pocket, a clumsy device for a clumsy brute. If he could laugh, Izaya would have. Shizuo stood up, stepping back from Izaya’s ragdoll form. “Hey, I’ve found Izaya. He- yeah. Okay. Yeah, be there in a few.” 

He hung up, sliding the phone back into his pocket. His steps were lighter as they came back. He kneeled gently in front of the man, head tilted to see under Izaya’s matted hair. “Are you okay? What was all that about?”

Izaya fought for a smile, forcing his walls back up. The idea of letting this monster see him like this was driving him insane. “You caring about me now?” His breath caught again. 

“Aw, are you worried about me?”

Shizuo didn’t react, the taunting either bouncing off him or going over his head. “How’s your back?”

“Ouch-y.”

His brow twitched. “Ouch-y?”

“Yeah, ouch-y.” He tried to grin. 

“Why did you run?”

Izaya shifted, his hand on his stomach. “Anyone would run if you were behind them.” He pretended to shudder, ignoring the screaming pain from his wound. 

“Izaya,” The sincerity in his voice was alarming, a gentle rumble like summer thunder. “I’m serious, what’s wrong?”

He frowned. “I…” 

“Woah, hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me,” Shizuo was suddenly flustered, pulsing open palms, as if trying to soothe him. “Just don’t cry, okay?”

“What?” Venom seeped into Izaya’s voice. Cry? He thought he’d cry in front of this monster? What a dick. 

Izaya flinched, a ripple of movement across his flushed cheeks. A bug? What bad timing. He moved to swat it away, wincing at the shooting pain through his side. His hand came away from his cheek damp. 

You’re kidding. Saline ran from his eyes against his will, a mixture of pain, relief, and embarrassment. This was ridiculous. First, he calls him for help, now he cries in front of this neanderthal? Whatever happened to his pride?

A coarse hand grazed his cheek, the cracked skin of his knuckles scraping against his face. “It’s okay, alright? You’re okay.” His eyes widened, an overwhelming feeling washing over him, one like drowning, like suffocating. 

Izaya acted before he could think. He was doing that a lot lately. Soft, warm fabric enveloped his face, the scent of cigarettes filling his sinuses, miraculously soothing his trembling breath. With his face on his chest, Izaya could hear the man’s breath catch, quiet surprise emanating from his lips. 

If he’d been thinking clearly, this would have made him vomit. But as it stood, the feeling of Shizuo’s arms hesitantly closing around his back, the subtle cigarette smell, the beat of his heart, the sound of his breath, it felt safe.

Summer thunder rumbled again, timid, unsure. Hesitant fingers lifted off his back, sticking ever so slightly as they peeled off the fabric. “Hey… You’re bleeding.”

Izaya considered lifting his head, but it was suddenly heavier than he thought it was. If he had, he might have seen the red staining Shizuo’s hands, the pallor of his cheeks, or even the frightening smear he’d left against the wall behind him. But in his exhaustion, he melted further into cigarette scented cotton and let the rest of the world fade out. 

[astonishinglegends]

Ep 279: The Third Man Syndrome Part 1

"Who is the third who walks always beside you? When I count, there are only you and I together But when I look ahead up the white road There is always another one walking beside you"  -- The Waste Land by T. S. ELIOT

Description:

A strange occurrence often happens to people engaged in an adventurous activity or who fall victim to an unfortunate circumstance. They find themselves with a companion whose presence would typically be impossible. Usually, the person is at a critical moment in a life-or-death situation in an extreme and unusual environment. When they are weakened and dying from exposure, suffering privation of sustenance, lost and alone, when they are about to lose all hope and accept their demise, that’s when this otherworldly friend suddenly appears to render aid and encouragement, giving them a superhuman will or strength to survive. Psychologists label this a “sensed presence experience” but are at a loss for a simple explanation. These presences may be seen, heard, and sometimes even touched. They appear in dire situations to people from all walks of life. They may materialize as a known friend, a deceased relative, a religious figure, or an indeterminate benefactor. Still, whatever their form, there is no doubt to the one in danger that this being is real and there with them. Although this sensed presence appears most often to mountain climbers, sailors, divers, and polar explorers, it can also happen to astronauts, prisoners of war, and disaster survivors. One of the most intriguing aspects of the sensed presence experience is that the ethereal saviors aren’t just there to provide comforting words; they actually help with knowledgable advice or guidance or can even seemingly take over the actions of the afflicted – whatever is necessary to increase the odds of survival. Join us as we explore a phenomenon more common than you might think, a syndrome also known as the “Third Man.”

Reference Links:

“The Sensed Presence as a Coping Resource in Extreme Environments”

by Peter Suedfeld & John Geiger. From Miracles: God, Science, and Psychology in the Paranormal on Omnilogos.com

“The Sensed Presence as A Coping Resource in Extreme Environments” on the Julian Jaynes Society website

“How does our understanding of the sensed presence phenomenon in extreme settings change the way we talk about so-called mental ‘illnesses’ in daily life?” by Blaise Cottingham on Medium.com

Angels of Mons on Wikipedia

Vincent Lam

“Extreme environment” on Wikipedia

King Nebuchadnezzar from Daniel 3:24-5 on BibleGateway.com

The Savage Curtain episode of the original Star Trek series

“Charles Lindbergh and the Third Man Factor” on Theresa's Haunted History of the Tri-State blog

Poet, memoirist, and songwriter Mary Karr

“The Liars’ Club” by Mary Karr

Kanchenjunga, the world’s third highest mountain, on Britannica.com

“Wilson,” the volleyball from the motion picture Castaway

“Ernest Shackleton's Crew of the Endurance – Imperial Trans Antarctica Expedition 1914 -17” on CoolAntarctica.com

Husvik, the former whaling station on the north-central coast of South Georgia Island, Antarctica

Elephant Island, Antarctica

“Excerpt: The Voyage of the James Caird by Ernest Shackleton” from the American Museum of Natural History website

Alfred Lansing

Caedmon, widely considered to be the world’s first audiobook and launch of the spoken word industry

“The Waste Land” by T. S. Eliot on Project Gutenberg

Stromness, South Georgia

Sir Ernest Shackleton and T S Eliot’s ‘third man’ from the Royal Scottish Geographical Society

The Waste Land Part I – The Burial of the Dead from the Poetry Archive

The Waste Land from The Poetry Foundation

“T. S. ELIOT SAW ALL THIS COMING” from The Atlantic

The Waste Land on Wikipedia

Jane S. P. Mocellin and Peter Suedfeld’s research on behavior in extreme environments from ResearchGate.net

“Shackleton's whisky returned to Antarctic hut” on CBC.ca

“Spirits of the South Pole” from The New York Times Magazine

“Wild Survival Story About 1983 Rockies Alpine Avalanche” – the story of Jim Sevigny and Richard Whitmire

Distance Line for cave diving

“UK scientist has her lab in underwater caves” – Stephanie Schwabe article from the Lexington Herald-Leader

Kendal Mint Cake on Wikipedia

Romney’s Kendal Mint Cake on Amazon

Reinhold Messner

“The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner” music album by the band Ben Folds Five

Related Books:

Suggested Listening:

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CREDITS:

Episode 279: The Third Man Syndrome Part 1. Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess. Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel of VW Sound. Music and Sound Design by Allen Carrescia. Tess Pfeifle, Producer and Lead Researcher. Ed Voccola, Technical Producer. Research Support from The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2024 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

[tiodolma]

I've always thought the prophecy was about both striking a balance. Merlin was meant to keep Morgana in check and Morgana was meant to keep Merlin in check.

Me too. Even Alice Troughton in the dvd commentary with Colin Morgan for s4 admitted that love/hate were always coexisted with each other.

Morgana certainly had the power and the invincibility for it, to keep Merlin in check, to draw him out, to make him face his dark and human side, to make him face his wrongs his sins and his victories.

Unfortunately Morgana didn't have the information he had. Merlin had all the information and he used that against everyone. Moreover her magic matured too late (with respect to Merlin's).

I think the real tragedy of Merlin's life was that he was already conditioned to kill from the very start (ep 1x06 Remedy To Cure All Ills ironic title ngl). That episode alone started it all. He was so so new and naive to everything and in that episode he showed absolutely no remorse at "accidentally" killing someone who offered him guidance and knowledge (at the expense of gaius).

And look I get it, he panicked. But after that he never wondered why Edwin was so so righteously angry at Gaius. Remember, Gaius sold Edwin's parents out to Uther and let young Edwin escape. Edwin's gravitas was so justified, you know? Merlin never tried to learn about the things Gaius did to protect "others" and most importantly to protect himself and his position. Even if Gaius thought black magic was evil, he still threw others under the bus for fighting for their lives. He still left Edwin (and Merlin) an orphan.

How does this relate with Morgana? You see from that point on, from episode 1x06 up to "2x03 The Nightmare Begins" Merlin has already killed at least seven people, most of them magic users.

Edwin,

Mary Collins (indirectly but him thwarting her plan zapped her of all energy),

Aulfric,

Sophia,

The Black Knight (who had a reason for it's anger),

Tauren's goons,

Nimueh

Sigan

Hengrist's goon's

plus he almost choose to get Mordred killed... 2 times.

He knew the reasons most of these had, but they didn't matter to him, he was never allowed to properly emphathise with them (Gaius taught him very very very well). Because his orders were always to "eliminate the threat" "kill them" for the sake of his destiny.

As Morgana's magic truly manifested in S2, Merlin was already too far gone and too far deep in the liar and vigilante game. Merlin was continuously performing treasonous and unlawful tasks UNCHECKED for two years! TWO YEARS!

TWO YEARS OF "JUSTIFIED IN HIS OWN HEAD" HOMICIDE AND MURDER WITH NO REAL REPERCUSSIONS.

And also I get why they had resorted to that kind of actions. One of the definitions of extremism from wikipedia said:

In addition, extreme acts are more likely to be employed by marginalized people and groups who view more normative forms of conflict engagement as blocked for them or biased.

That kind of radicalization and extremist training by both Gaius and Kilgharrah was effective as hell.

Morgana only started the proper coups at around mid-s2. She hasn't truly killed anyone for magic yet (aside from Tauren in S1). Even in Fires of Idirsholas she felt guilty of accidentally collaborating with Morgause.

It took 1 year of isolated training away from everyone for Morgana to be fully radicalized, forged in the fires of extremism herself. Even then, even in 3x01 and 3.02 when she killed one guard and she actively helped set in motion Morgause's terrorist attack, she still was willing to hear Merlin out in the crypts. She even laid out all her cards, showed her strengths and vulnerabilities for him to see and judge. Morgana still choose to be diplomatic despite it all.

What Morgana didn't know was that she wasn't dealing with a proper negotiator, she was dealing with a vigilante and secret agent who has three years worth of (1)all the vital information, (2)unchallenged power, (3)unchecked morals, (4)numerous kills, (5)experience in deception and (6)extremist conditioning. And the worse part was that the person who she thought was her friend, Merlin, even with everything he had, genuinely believed he had nothing to offer in exchange for her peace.

I think that's the tragedy of it.

With her truly coming into her full power only at s4, Morgana was too late to have a chance to inspire change in Merlin as a proper equal to him. Merlin has been in that overpowered and unchallenged state for 5 years at most. And by the time Morgana had become truly confident in s4, both of them had gone in the farthest ends of the extremes of their idealogies.

Merlin knew everything about her. But Morgana lacked the most important piece of information, the identity of Emrys.

No one could keep Merlin in check in the proper diplomatic manner anymore.

They have to come to arms.

[merrysithmas]

mando season 3 (my version)

this season of mando shouldve been 8 eps, an intro, a conclusion, and 6 episodes where we see Din teaching Grogu the six tenants of the Resol'nare (a mando Commandment type scripture).

each ep would have a voiceover of him teaching this small child one of the ancient beliefs of his cherished dying religion as they exist in the wilderlands of space, each episode and its lone ranger&child arc reflecting and exemplifying a specific tenant. this would have been the perfect delivery method of expanding Mando lore to the audience because we, like Grogu, are children to the unshared canon concepts.

it would be a touching, intimate portrayal of this Clan of Two, this man imparting his hidden sacred wisdom of the Mandalorians on his child (in a reflection of how Luke did the same to Grogu with the Jedi/perhaps coupled with flashbacks of Grogu learning those Jedi principles and how they compliment or oppose Mandalorian teachings).

Grogu should have even encouraged Din with the darksaber in his own innocent way- making cute motions to mimick the saber techniques he saw Master Luke use. Showing curiosity towards it. Interacting w Mando - even with the use of CGI (lbr puppetry is seriously limiting their interactions).

then at the end, as Din struggles the entire journey, doing everything within his ability to reach his planet and trek its harzardous ruins, struggling the entire season through pitfalls and hardship we finally see Din reach the Waters to obtain absolution - and understand, because we the audience (like Grogu) learned the tenants, that he deserves forgiveness and is an unknowing paragon of his belief system, moreso than any other Mandalorian we have seen

enter the subplot: Grogu is sick. somehow, someway, getting weaker and more frail. maybe a Force sickness or some weird shit with the Sith that are growing in power in the Galaxy. Din is terrified and believes if Grogu bathes in the Waters its ancient magic will heal him. He fights tooth and nail to get there - not just for his own redemption, but for Grogu's life.

When they get to the Waters they are in fact destroyed as prophesized- and only enough remains for Din's absolution OR Grogu's life. He chooses Grogu - and the water does miraculously heals him.

(we later find out unbeknownst to Din that the water has no special magic, but only is sacred when the Mand'alor blesses it... which he became the moment he gave up his absolution for Grogu's life).

when finally coming face to face with his Clan - we are faced with moral conflict.

Din explains he went to the Waters but he could not be absolved, that Grogu was cleansed instead.

we see Din's clan reject him according to their beliefs, but more painfully for him they reject Grogu (perhaps the leaders of the Tribe do not want the active believers to know absolution exists in the form of the Waters and claim the act was impossible as the mines were destroyed, or perhaps the elders are wary of the Jedi child). This shakes Din's beliefs, and makes him rightfully angry - this child is a Mandalorian, by Creed.

we see the Tribe, although believers and earnest, do have their own limiting prejudices (an occurence in all societies).

this conflict would eventually cause him to part ways with his Clan, willingly, for the sake of a Foundling. to discover the origins of Tarre Viszla and how he balanced his force abilities with his Mandalorian Creed. now truly alone in the Wilds of the Universe with only his individual heart to guide him - we see him following the Creed on his own. a true believer with no guide but his soul. in a reflection of the way that he left the Guild for Grogu.

and like Grogu, we would wonder - what makes a true Mandalorian? The creed? The clan?

or Din himself? the sword suddenly glowing at his hip.

[cut to the Living Waters, dry as a bone, an enormous crackling, destructive sound, a surge of water charging up from the underbelly of the planet. alive once more, only dessiccated before as the Mand'alor did not live.. and now that has changed]

also spoiler alert they resolve their differences and eventually the Tribe rejoins HIM.

[darthkvznblogs]

How dangerous would it be to tattoo glyphs to your body?

Depends! When you're talking about Glyphs, you have to consider a bunch of factors: power source, intent, activation method, and even the material the Glyph is inscribed on.

Obviously, the most common Glyph magic we see is drawn on paper, which is typically consumed as the spell is activated. This is not always the case, though; we see plants sprout from Glyph cards that don't get destroyed, the giant Light Glyph that turns Eda back to normal in ep. 4 doesn't appear to destroy the wall it's drawn on, the same goes for the sleeping nettle smoke spell in Hunting Palismen, and Philip/Belos actually has/had Glyph tattoos that seem intended to keep his cursed form at bay (though presumably they've long since failed, or perhaps that's not even his original body anymore).

The power source is both the easiest and trickiest factor to consider; there's enough ambient magic in the Isles to cast as many Glyphs as you could ever want, but it's obvious that to try it outside the presence of the Titan's remains would have disastrous results.

Intent matters a lot when it comes to Glyphs (and really, magic in general). It gives shape and direction to the spell you're casting - the difference between a fireball and a stream of flame, for example, or between sprouting thorny vines instead of cute flowers. Other magic systems have specific incantations, hand motions, and other such special conditions; Glyphs have the spell circles, combos, and the mental command through which the caster controls the effects of the Glyph/combo.

The idea is that this mental command also extends to the actual casting material - in the heat of battle, you don't usually put any thought as to what happens to the Glyph card as long as it gives you the intended effect, and so, being a pretty fragile material, the ensuing magical reaction incinerates the medium. When it's something more important, like a wall or, in this case, skin, you'd be hard-pressed to keep a tighter rein on your spellcasting, which should ensure minimal or no damage to the medium.

All of this is to say, yes, at least in the context of the Kverse, Glyph tattoos should work, but also yeah, they would be pretty risky. A novice or even adept Glyph caster would absolutely lose at least a few layers of skin, if not the whole limb, even with a minor successful spell. Someone who's mastered Glyph magic could do it without worrying too much, but they'd need to be very careful about having something of the Titan around to fuel the spell - otherwise, the magic would try to consume anything around it as an alternative, which could absolutely prove fatal, and it might not even stop at flesh and bone, when there's a perfectly intact soul attached to the meat sack that could be tried as a substitute. You'd also need to have extremely tight control with something like Fire or Petrification magic, which could easily affect the caster's flesh if not carefully controlled.

It's doable, but in almost all cases, pretty freakin' ill-advised.

[whypolar]

Ep 12 / mentions of manga stuff

I really enjoyed that. A lot of my predictions for minor things about how the fight would go were wrong (no Conrad betrayal!), but it still mostly played out as per expectation to match basic manga details and keep key characters alive.

I was surprised it was the same length as previous episodes and not double for a finale, but it felt like a perfectly good length while watching and after. I have no complaints.

The cube is so funny to me. The way forming it made his hair stand up. When it popped up on the monitor screen as "Cube". Lmaooo.

Knives is BANNED from the Minecraft server

Knives being basically nude is much easier to swallow once he sprouts that wing, for whatever reason. The white colour of the skin 'bodysuit' + defined musculature + angel wing makes him feel like a marble sculpture in motion. Very, very cool.

Blackened Vash with his slimy demon aesthetic is also very cool.

It's pretty weird how they have Wolfwood get out of and back in to and then out of July again so quickly. I have accepted since the first episode that time sequences in fights etc. are stylized and less than literal, but they didn't need to stick him all the way out there! He could have turned back before fully leaving the city, or even the building! He could have changed his mind in the elevator with Roberto's body!

I appreciate that Vash was the one to activate his own angel arm as a proactive choice to save the city. It failed, obviously, but I like it as a change for this version of the character.

The dialogue during the twins' argument (and Knives' apparent 'death') was interesting. I'll be rotating that whole conversation in my head for a while and thinking about the character implications.

Knives gets fangs when he’s being burnt up but he didn't get to have them on his regular model. >:(

No Legato :(

Timeskip. Wasn't sure we'd get it this episode, but it makes sense as an s2 hook.

I want Meryl and Zazie to become friends.

Milly has to be related to Roberto, right? It would make sense as a reason to request Meryl specifically.

Do you think Meryl smokes now, or did she leave that dirty ashtray untouched for two years in Roberto's memory? Gross.

Eriks and Lina :)

I love this outro song.

CHRONICA??? EARTH FLEET REAL??? I HAD WRITTEN THEM OFF I'M SO PLEASED

[doomedandstoned]

England’s URZAH Charges Out of the Gate with Astonishing Tour de Force

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

Yes! This is what I needed to get my week revving. An explosion of color, energy, and rage. Pure mayhem. This is URZAH from Bristol. With a mix of post-sludge and metalcore, the band has whipped up a frenzy in 'The Scorching Gaze' (2024), their debut full-length following two brutal EPs in 2020 and 2022.

Drums pound with guitars, bass, and vocals from the team of Ed Fairman, Tom McElveen, Les Grodek, and James Brown. The form a great onslaught of synergistic motion for opener "I, Empyrean." A song of cosmic proportion, Empyrean was said to be the abode of God, higher than the highest heavens, a place of burning glory. "We’ll meet again, two worlds reborn, this scarlet crown, thou shalt adorn," sings frontman Ed Fairman.

"Lacrimare (Misery's Shadow)" hits you with a barrage of incendiary arrows hoisted through the air in unrelenting rhythmic fashion, erupting into a firestorm without mercy. The song speaks of unbearable loneliness ("hollow and numb") borne of chaos and grief. "Lacrima" is the Latin word for "tear," so a lacrimare can only be a life torn apart again and again, both in reality and in heart.

Next up is "Immateria Noir", a 7-minute behemoth, which heralds a "bold sun burning." One can hardly look at the sun, much less stare at it. It is a witness to this world of confusion, hurt, and loss. We will be one with the solar giant when the earth is one day consumed by it in "sunlit obsidian." It is indeed the "essence of omnipresence," as we cannot escape the sun's gaze (explaining why our forebears worshiped it). The song feels like a sanguine messenger of doom, with hints of tragedy and regret along the way in the guitars especially.

After a surreal interlude, dissonant strumming and unrelenting drums bode an ominous warning as "A Storm Is Ever Approaching," a track which speaks of "doomed enterprises" and "divided lives." The guitars are the star of the show here, with head-banging deft and booming low-end.

Reprieve from the ire of the tempest comes with "The Aesthetic," featuring the lovely, reassuring strains of guest singer Eleanor Tinlin. It's short but sweet, with hints of tensions rising in its waning moments.

"Of Decay" is next, with more apocalyptic overtones in the lyrics. "Shadows surround me," Fairman barks, "baptized in ashes, frozen in time." Guitars swirl with grooves, while the rhythm section rumbles forward like the approaching hand of Death itself. "The dream is over," the vocalist declares, as the drums thunder with an air of finality. The downtuned low-end is nothing short of intimidating in the last minute of the song.

The final two songs concern Thera, which may be an allusion to an ancient abandoned settlement which sits atop a limestone hill on the Greek island of Santorini. It was abandoned, I believe, due to volcanic activity in the region. While I may be missing much of the lore behind this, "Thera I: Sea of Flames" catches us up on its symbolic meaning to the band. Guitars wind, wallow, and wisp with damning doom chords, underscoring lyrics that speak of "sacred pillars" that "spire high" and then "fields of fire," "plumes of smoke," and "inferno" that bring about the once proud city's ultimate desolation, promising a "molten rebirth."

The record draws to a close with "Thera II: Embers of Descent," which combines with the previous track to form a 15-minute epic. Guitars meet out buzzing repeated notes that have the feel of a languishing journey through ruins of smoke and brimstone. "Dreams in slow motion," Fairman cries, "Edge of the abyss." Screeching guitars at 3:22 sound like the haunting echoes of some long forgotten human drama, accompanied by chugging guitars and drums that pummel the soil. Bittersweet guitar passages soar above the desolation, but are soon swallowed up by it.

The Scorching Gaze is loud, brash, and in your face, but a great compliment to your speakers and headphones thanks to the work of Josh Gallop in Bath's Stage 2 Studios. Tom McElveen's guitars are captured with crisp clarity and great emotion.

Look for Urzah's new LP on Friday, May 3rd, released by APF Records on a limited run of cassettes, as well as on compact disc (pre-order here). Stick it on a playlist with Cult Leader, Elder, Converge, Gojira, and Cave In.

Give ear...

Urzah · THE SCORCHING GAZE

SOME BUZZ

APF Records' latest signing URZAH deliver a powerful and gargantuan storm of savage riffs on their blistering debut album THE SCORCHING GAZE Post/progressive sludge metal newcomers URZAH present their fiery debut album THE SCORCHING GAZE. After only a few short years of actively recording and gigging, Urzah have set Bristol's stacked heavy underground scene ablaze and captured the attention of Manchester's beloved APF Records, home of Desert Storm, Goblinsmoker, The Hyena Kill, Video Nasties et al. Through a commanding and captivating album of complex and wildly fluctuating songs brimming with sharp melodies, Urzah deliver a barrage of dynamic and intricate riffs boasting influences of post-metal, sludge, metalcore and moments of pure surprise.

From the second you hit play, opening track and leading single 'I, Empyrean' entices the listener and grabs them by the throat, kick starting a sprawling web of chugging guitars, soaring leads, stabbing bass and commanding powerhouse drumming. Progressive and lengthy cuts such as riff workout 'Immateria Noir' sit comfortably alongside the sheer face-melting gut-punch attack 'Of Decay'. The Scorching Gaze isn't without brilliant and daring curveballs, including the sweetly nested ballad 'The Aesthetic', lead by contemplative clean guitars and guest vocalist Eleanor Tinlin's expressive singing.

The Scorching Gaze by Urzah

The Scorching Gaze is a record guided by thought-provoking lyrics and titles, inspired strongly by both the cosmic horror writings of HP Lovecraft and more directly, the late Cormac McCarthy's novel The Crossing. Akin to these works, Urzah's songs channel a narrative of inward cerebral odyssey -- life's cycles through desolation and joy, triumph and pain, violence and beauty, as well as the permanency of choice and consequence. All of this culminates in Urzah's grand finale, the fifteen minute two-part 'Thera' suite, where the quartet go balls to the wall, slowing down to a sensational sludgy pace and confronting us with their heaviest and most crushing onslaught of all.

In order to capture more density, texture and sonic space in their sound, Urzah recorded The Scorching Gaze with producer, engineer and Phoxjaw guitarist Josh Gallop at his own Stage 2 Studios in Bath. This has resulted in a thickened and balanced soundscape across these winding and complex songs that are always evolving and changing.

The quartet have brought in key additional players into the studio space, with Eleanor Tinlin of Choir Noir (who have performed live and recorded with Bring Me The Horizon and Frank Turner) providing dreamy clean vocals, as well as cellist (and bassist of stoner metallers Froglord) Luke Clemenger to lay down sorrowful strings.

Topping everything off is the vibrant cover art by the talented Indonesian gig poster and album cover illustrator Putra Satria Nugraha, expertly evoking the tapestry of layers, depths and mysteries that this album holds. The Scorching Gaze is a brightly ambitious and rewarding listen that reveals new layers and intricacies through repeat listens, boldly striding its maze of blistering riffs, dynamic song structures and flaming intensity.

Follow The Band

Get Their Music

[agentcable]

Taxi Driver Season 1 Ep. 9 and 10

When a voice phishing scam targeted a member of the Rainbow Deluxe Taxi justice-serving team, they discovered additional illicit activities.

Episode 9 "It's Exactly the Same. Kim Do-gi" Episode 10 "I Regret It for the Rest of My Life"

If you want to watch the series for yourself, stop reading! This post contains spoilers to the storyline.

Baek Sung-Mi and her accomplice arrived at Jang Sung-Chul's house just in time to prevent Cho Do-Chul from fatally harming him. However, Jang Sung-Chul had to be hospitalized due to the injuries he sustained from the attack.

When Park Jin-Eon inadvertently gets scammed, the team agrees to work together, and discovers that there's more to the scammer posing as a prosecutor. The restaurant used as a front, is a thriving gambling den at night. It has also made immense profits from voice phishing. Thanks to Go-Eun's hacking skills, she manages to put an end to the voice phishing operation.

To set everything in motion, all the team needs is the password to the account that holds Madam Lim's money from her illegal businesses. Do-Ki works his incognito magic by luring Madam Lim with fake romance. With that, they were able to retrieve the confiscated money of the people they had defrauded.

After receiving a lead from her superior, Prosecutor Kang's suspicion about Do-Ki was heightened, prompting her to investigate further. She followed one of the members but hit a dead end when Kyung-Koo caught on to her intentions earlier.

In the final minutes of episode 10, she is shown following Do-Ki as he parks his taxi in its usual spot.

Vishing (voice phishing) is a form of attack that aims to deceive victims into revealing sensitive personal information over the phone. Although it may seem like a traditional scam, vishing attacks incorporate advanced technology, such as automated voice simulation or the attacker may use personal information obtained from previous cyberattacks to put the victim at ease.

Vishing techniques follow a familiar social engineering script, regardless of the technology used. An attacker preys on human emotions, commonly greed or fear, and convinces the victim to disclose sensitive information, such as credit card numbers or passwords. These techniques mirror the phishing scams that have been around since the 1990s. Vishing calls exploit the fact that we are more likely to trust a human voice. They may target the elderly and technophobic who are naive and have no experience with these types of scams.

Vishing attacks have increased in recent years. In 2018, scam calls accounted for almost 30% of all incoming mobile calls.

To identify and avoid vishing, keep in mind the following tips.

Firstly, be suspicious of any call claiming to be from a government agency asking for money or information. Remember that government agencies never call you out of the blue demanding or offering money. If you are unsure, hang up and independently search for the agency's real number. Call them to verify if they are trying to contact you.

Avoid paying with gift cards or wire transfers, as these are common signs of a scam.

Do not rely on caller ID, as it can be easily faked.

Kaspersky recommends being cautious of vishing scams that create a false sense of urgency, causing individuals to act immediately. it is advisable to take a moment to gather information about the caller without providing any personal inforrmation and then conduct research before responding.

[hcgsstore]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: AlignMed Women’s Short Sleeve Zip Posture Correcting Fitness Shirt In Black XL.

[luckycheesefoodie321]

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

As someone who has absorbed MLB almost entirely through tumblr and has only watched a few eps here and there but really wants to get into it, I like to visit the tag whenever it trends and was curious about today and what was happening. But as it turns out @buggachat (??) Bakery Enemies AU is straight up just thriving and from what I can tell, is 90% of why MLB is trending atm XD

264 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#4

The subtlety of Park Eun-bin’s acting that you know the difference between Young woo’s natural aversion to eye contact and her actively trying to play coy and avoid Myeong Seok’s gaze when he accurately deduced she definitely jumped in on the arrest on the train bc she couldn’t help herself

295 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

#3

When Steven finds himself in Dr Harrow’s office and Harrow let’s slip that his mum had passed away and he explodes at him so Harrow backpedals and actually picks up the phone to “call” the mum… and just the increasing distress on Steven’s face as he practically begs him not to bother his mum until Harrow holds out the phone and just the grief on his face as Steven finally admits out loud that his mother is dead…

Give Oscar the Oscar and 15 motion picture deals.

311 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

#2

Fun things after watching The Batman

The movie sets a more crime-thriller, film noir take on Batman that really hones in on Bats as the world’s greatest detective as opposed to throwing in a bunch of action scenes as has been the norm of late for “superhero” films. The action choreo that is there feels so real and like an actual real person fighting, making Bats feel more grounded as a person, and the action set pieces just compliment all the build up through the quieter moments. Literally 80% of this film is him looking around a room for clues or inferring some sort of deduction from a conversation and I’m here for itttt

The actor who plays Tim Drake in Titans plays the scared kid who doesn’t wanna beat up the random guy. Not the same Batmen but how fun if that was Tim Drake’s origin story in another timeline

This whole time Bruce is majorly projecting on the Mayor’s son his own trauma as a kid who lost his parents to a brutal murder. In both Bruce and Bats forms, he holds eye contact with the kid. When Bats comes over to help the people trapped under the tower, and the mayor-elect Bella Reál hesitates to take his hand (bc he’s a vigilante who in many ways represents everything she’s been campaigning against, also bc he’s masked and dangerous etc) the first one to take his hand and thus demonstrate his trust in Bats is the kid. And the others follow (literally that shot with the flare and everyone following in the dark water was so beautiful I cannot)

The repeated use of Ave Maria whether in full form or hints throughout the score as a signal of impending danger

That opening title screen just stretching all the way across the theatre screen. Magnificent

Despite the “I am Vengeance” line being the mic drop-ish line from the trailer, basically everyone makes fun of Bats for using it the whole movie and then it comes back in a sinister way right at the end

People initially laughing at the idea of Robert Pattinson as Bats now saying his is one of the best interpretations of Batman so far, especially in terms of the detective aspect of the character

This version of Bruce reads as much younger than the other interpretations of Bruce Wayne. Like all of them are “would rather do XX than go to therapy” to some degree, but this version of Bats leans hard into this and feels really fresh on the scene. Guess it helps that when he’s Bruce he doesn’t switch immediately into a three piece suit and actually wears normal clothes. And he’s only 2 years into the game. I think it also adds to this image bc the playboy personality is nonexistent in this version of Bruce. He’s attracted to Selina (or at least drawn to her and the kiss just pushed it in a more romantic direction), but he also doesn’t push it beyond the opportunities she has presented to him. So idk. That seems very young of him?? I guess to be so caught up in the Batman of it all that he doesn’t recognise the potential for him and Selina until after she kisses him.

The fact that Selina’s leather suit actually has some give and slight bagginess to it. Like yes it is form fitting, but there’s clearly wiggle room and that’s a small thing but v important I think that it isn’t skin tight. Bc all other scenes she’s dressed in what I would say are very revealing clothing, as part of her job at that club that exploits women’s bodies and looks for profit. In this outfit, she clearly has so much more control and ownership of her body, and despite the typically slinky and seductive image of Cat woman, her suit feels quite practical and more like a uniform or battle outfit.

Paul Dano was freaking brilliant as The Riddler. But I also kept thinking “yo it’s that guy from Little Miss Sunshine” XD

1,836 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Crap

Pads

Sexy

Stripper

Cramps

All words that you don’t realise have impact until you suddenly hear them in a pixar movie and you double take way harder than you thought you would bc wow they said that so casually… bc yeah a 13yo prolly does say crap and sexy on occasion… and hey periods are perfectly natural so duh ofc the mom would bring out a pile of pads for her pubescent daughter, and talk about using herbal tea for cramps…

but also you don’t realise that you’ve never heard any of these things in a movie geared for children and pixar managed to do it so casually that it made you blink for a hot second before being quite pleased that it’s been included… that things like periods are discussed so openly in a film and pads are acknowledged and named and shown on screen rather than acting like it’s taboo or unnatural (not only the mom but also Abby/Priya?? saying she has pads for Mei)… to theme a film specifically on the female puberty experience… the change in body odour (when Priya whipped out deodorant for Mei??? Love that), the discomfort in your own body, the mood swings, the sweating, in many cases a greater physical and emotional attraction to others… an experience which in the past has been so greatly hush hush and treated like a shameful secret…

Then you think to yourself wow imagine if pixar had managed to include the lgbt+ character they had been hoping to insert in what would likely be a very respectful but also casual and natural representation that does not define the character purely by their presence but by what they as a person bring to the story (betting my life on Miriam and the potential for a Mir-Mei ship) had the Mouse not gotten in the way.

And this was meant to be a fun post about how casually Abby said “stripper music” and how I actually double-taked at Meilin saying sexy, but then i had other thoughts…

2,539 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

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[jamieroxxartist]

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​Hollywood, California-based Kristen Schalk has danced in music videos and showcased at events from Charlotte to Atlanta to Orlando and, of course, on the west coast.  And, along the way she has been training with one of the best in the business, Chuck Maldonado.  A four-time award-winning choreographer for his work with Stomp The Yard, the NAACP Image Awards, Chris Brown’s Grammy performance, and Bright House’s Network commercial, Maldonado has choreographed and appeared in major motion pictures, worked with many major recording artists, and worked in several commercials. Furthermore, Kristen has started into songwriting, both on her own and doing co-writes. She is a member of NSAI and has been active with the Los Angeles chapter. She has been forming connections with writers, artists, and producers for collaborations and one of her goals is to release an EP of her own music. And if that’s not enough, the acting bug has bitten, and Kristen has been laying the groundwork to pursue work in that arena as well, taking acting classes in the Hollywood area.

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[soundsaboutrighttumblr]

WBL: Fighting Mr.2nd, episode 5 meta

The first meta of episode five will go to… Pei Shou Yi and Yu Zhen Xuan, because I find parts of myself relating. Hard.

It starts with a bodily crash, their paths in life colliding, and it might take nothing less to get Pei Shou Yi to notice you, in a way that matters.

I don’t know enough about his condition, affectionate disorder, but I think it might be a disconnect between you and your own emotions. Something that happens with depression, too, a numbing of those feelings, until you are not able to identify them correctly anymore. That I do know a bit more about. Your emotions lose depths, because all you feel is numb and nothing.

Sometimes you’ll have to go the reverse way to relearn your connection to them. I remember a therapist telling me, that I did look sad, showing the trembling chin of held back tears, and all the bodily symptoms of it. All I could do back then was shrug, say thank you for the feedback and that it is interesting, because I didn’t know I felt sad, I just felt numb and nothing.

You’ll have to interpret the symptoms your body shows you, to find a way to identify what you are feeling. Interesting in that context is also the thing how you practicing certain physical actions and behaviors, mimicking them, can create the emotional response it is connected to, like smiling can actually make you happy.

So it is a bodily crash, that gets through to something in Shou Yi.

And Pei Shou Yi sure can feel annoyed at his dropped items, at the inconvenience of it for his daily life. That something goes against the strain. He can detect that. Just anything deeper, emotion wise is not connected to his conscious self for the time being.

Doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist, though. Doesn’t mean it can’t express itself in a longing for something vague that is missing. (Hence the stare into the distance that he has been doing for fifteen years now, that we saw back in season one, and that is the main thing he does in this ep, waiting and longing). Or in an inexplicable decision to help someone out, one you shouldn’t/can’t care for.

Doesn’t mean that your emotions won’t want to jump at any life line they might be given, to claw themselves out and back into life somehow, someday, to feel and be. Without you realizing, because you are in the haze of depression, that has numbed the pain, and with it all the good, in a misguided way to protect you, make you survive.

You care. You are a doctor after all, a profession where you have to go through the motions of caring, because maybe that will bring some of it back.

And Pei Shou Yi and Gao Shi De sure seem related, with their lack of respecting others drawing physical boundaries, pushing them off, others stating their own agency, and PSY and GSD going over them, because their intent of protection in their mind trumps the other’s self-determination.

But like the title profile themes of this episode spelled out, it will be left to see who will tame who, and whose life will be affected and overthrown and broken into.

It’s another subversion of the perceived roles of active and passive that WBL loves to play with, especially in this ep, but also with the whole show. Who is stronger, who is in control, who sets boundaries, who is affected… the answer WBL gives is always, both, each and every one of them, in ways we didn’t see coming, they didn’t see coming, and that is life, the divide into those roles as static is an illusion.

Then the bite. You remember Doc Pei Shu Yi treating his patients? When it hurts too much, find something to bite onto.

‘You must be in a lot of pain.’ What I think happens in that moments, is that yes, Yu Zhen Xuan sees Pei Shou Yi, but Pei Shou Yi sees him just as much and also sees a mirror, in the intensity of Zhen Xuan, sees parts of himself he cannot access. Some part of him relates, a connection is formed.

And because that connection was open in that second, I think Zhen Xuan fell so hard for Shou Yi, because he was the only one he could see in this world, because he was a mirror for Zhen Xuan, too, because he was stunted, interrupted in his perception of ‘reality’ and making it make sense for yourself in a way that Zhen Xuan, being neurodivergent, has experienced himself in this society, this world that seems to be made for the neurotypical.

Everyone not fitting in might get lost in a haze at times, lose access to themselves because of the discrepancy in what they should be and what they perceive they are, the interruptions of that, and the losing and finding access to yourself again.

Back to going through the motions, and how it can lead you back, a sense of fake it till you make it, till you are restored and your heart believes it:

I think Pei shou Yi is already going through the motions, has been for long, with taking care of Yu Zhen Xuan, caring for him, although he can not identify it as such, but I hope the act of doing so, continuously, will lead him to the actual thing eventually.

Faced with Xuan’s intensity and feelings, and willpower, that he can mirror, relate to because it’s outside of himself that something inside relates to. Maybe because he is missing it, not lacking it, just having lost his access to it.

Maybe Zhen Xuan will need to crash into him again, with determination, holding up the mirrors that they are, and show him how much he has grown and found his place, for Shou Yi to follow him, and find what he thinks is gone, in their own special way, without rules of how it should be done, just them, creating their own reality.

Because Pei Shou Yi still thinks Zhen Xuan is the one who lost control of his life, is the troubled one, the troubled youth.

But if we look closer, he has his life in a good place, is successful in his job but also not playing someone who he isn’t to get there, he is himself and has found his place.

He is not the one lost, having lost control, even if he is cuffed at the police station. Because it is his decision to stay there, to make you get him.

With his changing careers and longing looks into the distance, who feels more lost, although he thinks he made the right decisions for the both of them?

Oh, WBL I love you and all your subversions of themes and roles and expectations, and how you do it to make them all perfectly human.

[shinygoku]

i can't seem to get this to let me send a nice image again... but (at your leisure) can you do Duck for the character ask? ♥

First impression

Huh, with a name like Duck, I expected him to be more avian. And maaan, what is up with the shape he has??

Impression now

Ah right, that's a Pannier Tank Engine, and they just Look like that lol. Still unsure about the alleged Waddle motion, maybe cause I ain't seen enough of these babies in motion.

Anyhoo, while I can absolutely see why he's a big fan favourite, I'm a bit more ambivalent, personally. I still Like him, but I wouldn't put him in my assortment of Most Beloved.

Favourite moment

His arc with Diesel, natch! Again, more than a singular moment, but the whole shebang with buildup, fallout and resolution is one of the series' biggest Turning Points and Duck himself is on top form. Though I gotta shout out to A Close Shave for being him centric and damn cool 🦆😎

Idea for a story

Hmmm.... the order of these points may compromise the mild surprize that's possible, so I'll answer this in the last section ;3

Unpopular opinion

Other than my rather "yeah he's fine lol" mild reaction to him? :P

I vastly, and I do mean Pretty Dang Vast, prefer how he looks in the book illustrations where he has a black smokebox bordering his face. On the whole I adore the TV show's models, but his circular face on the massive green slab ends up kinda offputting. Maybe that's also a factor in my lower key reception of him too, haha

But seriously, compare these book illustrations, which is more harmonious with the other characters to you?

Favourite relationship

Ahh geeze, I ain't given it much thought.... unleeessss [see Headcanon Section]

Also shout out for (initially at least) being Diesel's Arch Enemy, even if that kinda drifts away with the TV show and time.

Favourite headcanon

Ok, here we go... this is all pretty much your own doing, Jobey!

It may not have been your intent, but I'm starting to think Duck is one corner of a Platonic Love Triangle, with the other end being Thomas, and the mutual object of their ....friendship[?] is Percy. I better draw a Diagram lol (Also no, it's not a shipping thing lol)

So like... Duck was brought in specifically to help Percy out, they get along well and have a lot of stories/episodes together. Eventually Percy is put on the Ffarquhar, or "Thomas' Branch Line" and the amount of time Duck spends with Percy promptly plummets. Related is that I genuinely can't think of any stories where Thomas and Duck interact in a meaningful capacity. It seems whenever those two are in the same scene and it's not a swift drive by cameo, it's because Percy is there.

It makes me start to wonder if Duck and Thomas have any particular thoughts on the other, or just the low key 'yeah he's not actively a dick to me so we're cool'. Is it out of character to Headcanon Duck as being somewhat jealous of Thomas, simply for whisking Percy away? It sounds rather more silly written out than in my head asfsjkd

But like, I'm thinking of eps like All At Sea, where Thomas doesn't feature until right at the end (irl prolly a Studio Mandate lol) but it makes me wonder if Duck himself is thinking "Oh smeg, it's Thomas. Can't he stay up by the quarry for once? He's always everywhere!"

And weirdly, cause it's from Season Six of all things, is the ep Scaredy Engines. I flip flop on whether I like how it plays the exact same Moral from Percy and the Dragon again, but with Percy and Thomas' roles swapped from the other ep, or if I think it's inferior to said Dragon ep. However, the role Duck plays in Scaredy is very interesting...

So Thomas was being kinda a dick in the ep, teasing Percy about being scared, so Duck takes on the Karmic Trickster mantle that had been left behind for several TV eps by now, and arranges for Thomas to get scared back. The thing is, while he's pleased with a job well done, Percy is still concerned when Thomas doesn't reappear at the Fireworks show, so he leaves Duck and finds Thomas back at the sheds instead.

Yeah, I could very easily read into this lol. Duck's plan to avenge Percy by proxy worked, but also backfired, as Percy himself went off towards the guy who, certainly from Duck's Point of View, should have been left licking his wounds alone and feeling the weight of The Lesson soak in. Duck has again been jilted by Percy in favour of Thomas, even though Duck in particular sees Thomas' actions as Jerkish. Percy is much more willing to forgive this and see a lack of malicious intent, this is the kind of ribbing they share, and Thomas actually hiding scared is enough to get Percy to seek him out.

I may just be overreading, of course, but the tl;dr of this is that I think Duck and Percy have a pretty conventional Nice to Each Other Friendship, but Percy spends more time with Thomas and they have a relationship that can look screwy to outsiders (I again refer to You, Jobey, and that you said Thomas and Percy bring out each other's worst traits lol) but they pretty much muddle along as best buds anyway. I can see Duck being jealous but determined enough to stay civil and professional, even if internally he's always a bit annoyed when Thomas rolls in somewhere and takes Percy's attention.

Man, that got long!

And I still have the Fanfic Idea for here! But don't worry, it's related:

Basically something that examines this a bit more, but the meat of it being Thomas and Duck actually directly talking about it and maybe coming away with a better understanding of each other. Could be one'a them Locked In A Room Together type of situations, like a particularly poorly planned path by the sea that gets covered by high tide or whatever. Bonus points if Percy catches some of this without them realising and is like "what in the hell are those two dumbasses rabbiting on about. Me??? Oh god"

Bonus: Duck says Thomas is welcome to have Diesel as his arch enemy instead lol

That's all I have now, sorry Duck stans for not talking about The Great Western! 🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆

[motherfingtitan]

Hi! Big fan of your fics. I have a suggestion for one: the basic idea is that the Lower Decks characters (mainly the Warp Core Four) get involved with the ep. "Trials and Tribble-ations" Meet both DS9 and TOS crew in a subtle/not-so-subtle way (PARADOX!). Bonus: They are drawn and animated in TAS Filmation style, with some of them slightly aware. Maybe a bit of Mariner x Boimler? Hope you have fun with the idea.

Time Tribbles

The Warp Core Four decides to go back in time to the Enterprise to do some not-so-scientific research on Tribbles. They come across not one, but two famous Starfleet Crews

Tendi dragged herself to her bunk. She was absolutely exhausted from pulling double shifts in Medbay to make up for the influx of patients. Earlier today, some of the food replicators were producing food at extreme temperatures. They were also uncontrollably spewing food out, and in the case of ten forward, literally spraying boiling nacho cheese. Crew members had been in and out all day with burns. Just as she sat on her bed, she saw Mariner down the hallway. Both of them waved to each other.

"Yo, Tendi, what's up?" Mariner said as she walked up to her.

"Nothing much; I’m just exhausted from all the activity in Medbay. I did see somebody with a nacho cheese burn in the shape of an Orion continent!" She smiled.

"I have something that will cheer you up!" Mariner held up her finger and ran off, going to get her special piece of contraband.

After a few minutes, she returned with a Tribble in hand. It had brown fur and little white patches. She handed the Tribble to Tendi and sat down next to her. The cooing of the ball of fur filled the room.

"Personally, I would prefer getting drunk, but I thought this might be more up your alley" Beckett smiled as Tendi ran her hand through the fur, her eyes lit up.

"This is the cutest thing ever," Tendi squealed. She then spoke in baby talk to the Tribble, "Yes you are, you are the cutest little Tribble on this ship.”

She continued to pet the Tribble for a couple of minutes before finally speaking, "You know, I've always wanted to see a Tribble reproduce. I know that the ones they sell at the pet stores are neutered."

Beckett thought for a second before finally speaking. "Ok, so I got this really cool piece of contraband from the planet we did second contact with a couple of weeks back. I've been testing it, and I think it opens up portals to different times. We could go back in time to see Tribbles reproduce."

"But isn't that against the rules?”

"Yes, but it's for science, so it's probably ok. Come on, let get Rutherford and Boimler."

…

A few hours later, the four Ensigns were in an empty part of the docking bay. All of them were wearing 2260s uniforms. Tendi messed with her holographic disguise, trying to find the right hairstyle. She felt odd with blonde hair and peachy skin, but there was no way she could go back in time looking like an Orion. Enterprise crew members would ask too many questions.

"Bangs or no Bangs?" She adjusted her holographic remote, letting it flip through different hairstyles.

"Definitely the Bangs," Rutherford gave a thumbs up before continuing his excitement-filled lecture about Constitution-class ships. “Did you know that turbolifts were not completely voice-controlled back then? You had to hold down a bar for them to work.”

"Mariner, are you sure we should be doing this. Time travel is against 253.7-" Boimler began before being cut off Mariner.

"Rules, Schmules. Come on, Boims, this could be your one chance to see Kirk in flesh and blood."

"Fine, but I'm keeping you in check," he spoke.

Beckett then pulled out the small blue stone from her trouser pocket. It glowed softly in her hand. She set it down and stated where she wanted to go "Stardate 4523.3, USS Enterprise 1701."

The store glowed brighter until it flashed, opening up a small portal to the other ship. Its corridors were empty, meaning the Ensigns could slip in undetected.

"Ready to do science stuff?" Mariner asked Tendi.

She bounced in excitement, nodding rapidly. Mariner was the first to step into the portal. She felt slight tingles all over her body as she popped out on the other side. The Enterprise looked much different than the ships of her time. The lights had colored tints, and more equipment was exposed. Rutherford came out of the portal next, slightly dizzy but extremely excited to see such an old ship. Tendi and Boimler followed. Once through the portal, it returned to its original gem form.

Boimler slowly stood up, trying to shake off how dizzy he felt. "I feel so stiff and kinda cheap too,"

"You look different," Rutherford pointed out

"Oh god! Am I phasy again?!?"

"No, but your eyes look smaller," Tendi looked at all of them. "We all look kinda different."

"Probably some stupid time travel stuff, come on, let's got find some Tribbles!" Mariner shoved the gem in her pocket and started down the hallway, followed by the other four.

Soon, they came to the main corridor that was bustling with people. The women styled their hair in extravagant bumps and wore earrings. Most wore minidresses, a popular style in the 2260s, but a couple wore the tunic style uniform, just as Mariner was. The sound of boots tapping filled the hallway, and the gold rank bands on the officer sleeve sparkled among the sea of yellow, red, and blue. Perhaps the most striking thing, however, was the lack of aliens. The vast majority of the officers were human, a stark contrast from how diverse the Cerritos was.

Suddenly, Mariner stopped and motioned to the other three to get against the wall. From just around the corner, two very famous Starfleet officers could be heard.

"Is that Kirk?" Boimler asked

Mariner nodded, feeling just as excited as the rest of them but doing an excellent job of hiding it. Kirk and Spock were speaking with someone through the communication unit.

"Bridge to Captain Kirk." A young man with a Russian accent spoke.

"Kirk here." The captain responded

“Mister Baris is waiting on channel E to speak to you, sir."

Mariners’ heart was beating fast. She may have acted like she didn't care, but she did grow up as a Starfleet brat, and though she may have seen Captain Kirk in a holodeck simulation, it wasn't the same as being a couple of feet away from him.

"Mister Baris is coming on." The young man spoke again.

"Yes, Mister Baris. What can I do for you?" Kirk’s voice was pleasant

"Kirk, this station is swarming with Klingons." A man by the name of Baris replied.

"I was not aware, Mister Baris, that twelve Klingons constitutes a swarm."

"Captain Kirk, I consider your security measures a disgrace. In my opinion, you have taken this entire..."

At this point, Boimler had lost focus on that conversation as his eyes drifted to the other side of the hallway. There, a man with a deeper voice and a tall woman spoke. Both looked as if they were doing routine maintenance. The woman kept glancing back at the captain and the first officer.

"I had no idea." The woman began

"What?" The man replied, fiddling with some machinery.

“He's so much more handsome in person. And those eyes."

"Kirk had quite the reputation as a ladies' man."

"Not him. Spock."

Boimler noticed that, just like him, they looked out of place. He continued to listen.

"I can't believe you don't at least want to meet Captain Kirk."

"That's the last thing on my mind."

"Oh, come on, Benjamin. Are you telling me you're not the tiniest bit interested in meeting one of the most famous men in Starfleet history?"

Benjamin? He thought as he slowly went through all the people he knew named Benjamin in his head.

Benjamin Anderson

Benjamin Taylor

Benjamin Sisko

Sisko!

It was Captain Sisko! And the woman next to him must be one of his crew members. Jadzia Dax, maybe? His face twisted in confusion. What was he doing in this time?

"Guys, look!" Boimler whispered and motioned his head to the other side of the hallway.

"Is that... Sisko?" Rutherford asked. "He looks different," he added, still getting used to how everything looked in this period.

"Two famous Starfleet Captains in one day?!?" Tendi bounced on her heels.

"Why is he here?" Boimler looked at Mariner.

"I don't know, something to do with a Tribble and a bomb,"

"A bomb?!"

She shrugged. "Relax, it's on the space station. We will stay on the ship,"

"How do you even know all this?"

"I have my ways,"

The Ensigns decided that it was time to get moving. They didn't want to create too much suspicion by huddling up against the wall. The halls were so crowded, Constitution-class ships were certainly packed, even without the hallway bedrooms of the Cerritos. The colored lights enthralled Tendi. She was so used to sterile fluorescent lights that the soft blues, purples, and yellows were dazzling. She had read about these types of ships, but reading about it and seeing it were two different things.

"Gosh, I love Constitution-class ships," Tendi said.

But there was no response. She twisted her head back and forth, slightly panicking that she had lost her other three friends. She wanted to yell out their names, but that would raise too many questions. She would have to silently slither through the confusing corridors of the ship to find them, all while looking natural. Looking back and forth one more time, she decided to continue forward. Turning down a hallway, she noticed that there was a turbolift at the end. Inside were two men. One was a bulkier man in a red shirt, while the other man with slicked-back hair wore blue with a single strip of gold on the bottom of his sleeve.

"Deck twenty-one. Deck twenty-one. I said, Deck twenty-one." The man in the red shirt said. He's getting more frustrated every time he spoke.

"Maybe if you said please." The other man replied

Tendi remembered from Rutherford’s conversation earlier that turbolifts were not entirely voice commanded at this time. She continued to walk towards the lift.

"Maybe it's jammed. Help me get this wall panel off." The redshirt was starting to open a panel when the disguised Orion walked in. She put one hand on the wall handle and crossed her fingers, on the other hand, hoping that this would work.

"Deck fifteen." She spoke, and the lift started to move. She breathed a secret sigh of relief.

"I won't tell anyone if you don't." The medical man, with a British accent, spoke.

"My lips are sealed."

"Guys, where's Tendi?" Rutherford asks, trying to find one of his best friends.

"Aw Sh*t, we must have lost her" Mariner looked some more. "Tend-"

Boimler clamped his hand against her mouth. "Are you insane? You wanna mess up history?"

"Ok, then how do you want to find her?"

"Constitution-class ships only held about 300 people, so it shouldn't be too hard to find her, especially compared to a Galaxy-class ship," Rutherford suggested.

All three realize that the only way to find their friend was to just walk through the halls and hope they stumble across her. They started down the aisle, maneuvering their way through the mass amounts of people. At one point, Beckett hit somebody with her elbow.

"Oh, sorry." She said

The woman smiled and replied. She was wearing an operations red dress, and her hair was teased on top of her head. Her sleeves bore lieutenant stripes. "It's ok," she said as she walked away. She was making baby noises at something in her hand.

Mariner craned her neck just enough to see that in the lieutenants’ arms was a small Tribble. "It can't be long now."

Tendi saw the first baby Tribble in one of the turbolifts she was taking back down. She was alerted when she heard soft sweet cooing on the other side of the lift, and she couldn't resist. She picked it up, so happy to see an unneutered baby Tribble. At first, she only saw one every once in a while. Maybe one would be stuck to a wall. Another was in an older doctor's hands, and he was scanning it with a tricorder. However, the amount started to multiply, and before she knew it, Tribbles were lining every single hallway. They came and all shapes and sizes. Some were white with gray spots, and some were a beautiful shiny Brown. They stuck to the walls and the ceiling, and cooing filled the hallway, along with the occasional screech when someone stepped on one.

She tried to resist the temptation and only grab one, but every time she turned around, she found herself face-to-face with another ball of fur, and soon she had an entire armful of Tribbles. Curiously, as she wandered about trying to find her three friends, she saw Sisko and that other female officer scanning Tribbles. Both looked frazzled. She realized that they were scanning for a bomb of sorts and remembered that Mariner said it was on the space station, not on the Enterprise.

Speaking of Mariner, she finally found her friends walking towards her in a hallway. The pep in her step grew as she walked towards them.

"They are so cute!" Tendi showed off her arm full of at least ten Tribbles.

"Let's get to a private room, watch how a Tribble gives birth, and then get back to our own time," Boimler continued. "I don't want any time travel shenanigans on my file. It's not very Captain-like."

"Oh please," Mariner replied, "you realize how much stuff was on Kirk's record?"

The four came across an empty meeting room. They all walked in, Rutherford closed the door, and Tendi set one of her many Tribbles on the table. With her pad on hand, she was ready to take notes.

Tribbles reproduce fast, so it was only a matter of time before the one on the table, which Tendi lovingly named Warpy, gave birth. The ball of fur soon went from cooing to screeching as it tensed up half its body. Soon from underneath the adult Tribble, baby Tribbles emerged. Tendi was so excited, but the other three just watched with confused and uncomfortable faces. After she finished taking notes, Boimler suggested they leave.

"I'm going to miss the blonde hair, but I can't wait to have my old body back," Tendi spoke as Mariner pulled out her blue gem.

"Tell me about it; my eyes are the same color as my skin. That can't be healthy," she replied

"Maybe people look like this because of issues with the older technology," Rutherford suggested.

Mariner spoke to the gem the time she wanted to go back to. The portal opened underneath them.

"No one's got any Tribbles, right?" Mariner asked.

All of them nodded, and Mariner was the first to jump through the portal. Rutherford followed, and then Boimler. Tendi turned around one last time to her Tribbles.

"Bye, Warpy," she spoke as she jumped through the portal.

"Much fu*king better" Mariner cracked her back in the Cerritos’ shuttle bay. Tendi glanced over her notes and deactivated her disguise. Beckett came over to her and wrapped an arm around her.

"You had fun?"

"So much, thanks" Tendi smiled.

"How about we change and get some tacos?" Beckett spoke as she walked towards the doors.

"Okie Dokie" Rutherford and the other two ensigns followed.

As they walked to the mess hall, Mariner spoke to Boimler, “Glad you could join us. Ya know, you actually look confident in that old uniform! And kinda charming.”

“Thank you, I feel confident” He did a cheesy smirk.

“Annnnd now it’s gone.” She said, trying to hide the slightest blush.

They continued to their bunks to change. Unknown to Boimler, however, was a small ball of fur stuck to his vintage uniform boots.

Three days later

Ransom woke up for his morning shift at the sound of his alarm. When he reached over to turn it off, he felt a ball of fur right on his alarm clock. Upon opening his eyes, he saw that Tribbles filled his entire room, all cooing.

"Who brought an unneutered Tribble on board!?"

[lokigodofaces]

thoughts on loki ep 2: the variant (spoilers)

under cut to not disturb your scrolling

Overall I enjoyed so that's good

Uh frick my mind blanked so sorry if things are completely out of order

I don't know, I expected the renaissance fair to be 2012 or 2021 or 2024 (Loki's time, our time, current time in the "sacred timeline"). So I was genuinely surprised when it was in 1985.

Ok, i really like the title card thing. And how the year scrolls around. It's a nice aesthetic touch there.

I wonder why the female Loki variant chooses her locations? Does she have a thing for renaissance fairs, French cathedrals, and Oklahoma?

1985 is when Back to the Future came out. And it's y'know, one of the most popular time travel movies ever. So I think they chose that year as a reference.

Again, not liking that the minutemen only have numbers, not names. It is giving me lots of Clone Wars vibes. If you don't know anything about Clone Wars, the clones are given number identifiers by the Kaminoans. Things like CT-7567. The clones would give themselves names (CT-7567, for example, names himself Rex). A really good sign throughout the series that someone is a sketchy person is if they call the clones by their numbers. The clones don't want to be known as numbers. They are people too, they deserve names, so they come up with all sorts of creative names (Rex, Fives, Cody, Tup, Hevy, Hardcase, Echo, Waxer, Boil, Wolffe, Jesse, Kix, Fox, Hunter, Wrecker, Crosshair, Omega, Tech, Matchstick, etc). The jedi respect this, and the only jedi that i can think of that called clones by their numbers is Krell, who fell to the dark side. the Kaminoans and other sketchy people all call them by their numbers and the clones don't like it. A big focus of the show is on the clone's agency (at the end, they all have brain chips that take away their agency and force them to kill jedi), and how the clones need to be respected. So for me to see in another series that people are only given numbers is bad. What's worse is that the minutemen are fine with this. They don't see it as dehumanizing or belittling. They are brainwashed into being okay with it. Which says a thing or two about the Time Keepers.

did. did the renaissance fair really have Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero" for their renaissance themed fight? Is this normal? Was it normal in the '80's? We saw later that the female Loki can do electronic stuff. Did she rig it to play it? For the vibes?

Also the stuff before the song was about fighting for a princess, and in the end she kidnaps C-20.

Okay, btw, I'm just gonna say Lady Loki for a while because no one has explicitly said Sylvie yet, so I'm going to refer to di Martino as Loki until she or another calls her Sylvie. Cool? Cool.

I was thinking the "Holding Out for a Hero" fight would be the roomba fight or something. It is such a good song that has huge potential for this genre. Why did they use it in a lame fight as that one?

When Lady Loki did the spell on C-20, it looked similar to what Wanda and Agatha can do. As in, it had similar visuals.

Loki reading a random magazine he finds while sitting with his feet on the desk bored out of his mind because he has to learn sh*t is a MOOD.

What is Miss Minutes? She can jump around anywhere, and pop into computers. But she can't be just a projection. She took the effort to dodge Loki swatting at her, so that may mean she was corporeal. She also could be something similar to the Kree's Supreme Intelligence?

So, did Mobius give Loki the shirt, tie, and slacks, but really didn't give him the jacket until they had to call him in? What? That makes no sense? Did the TVA not have any jackets with the variant label? Did someone have to custom design a jacket for Loki?

What is up with this show giving me things I wanted to see only in holographic form? First we saw Coulson's death, and now Loki in his Jotun form in a holograph of another variant.

Okay, Loki being someone the TVA has to constantly deal with is very on brand. Loki is a creature of chaos, of course he's going to unknowingly rebel against the sacred timeline.

Also, headcanon that the Jotun Loki we see is king of Jotunheim because that would be epic.

Also, for personal reasons I choose to believe there is a Loki variant that defeated the Avengers and immediately went queer rights.

Loki's reaction to there being many Loki variants. He's seen what his life is supposed to be. I think he is even more upset that the TVA often deals with him, that there are so many things that could have been instead if it weren't for the TVA and the "sacred timeline."

Also, I totally think Mobius was waiting for another Loki to show up to help him defeat Lady Loki. They get them so often, it makes sense.

Loki explaining the difference between illusion projection and duplication was great. And very helpful to me personally understanding lore. Also, Mobius, get your crap together. If you're a Loki expert, figure this stuff out.

Loki calling the TVA out on propaganda, we love that.

The wolf quote is actually very nice, I quite like it.

Okay, the TVA doesn't even bury or cremate or do any sort of ritual for their fallen minutemen, they just reset the timeline. Which to me seems like another way to show how little the TVA actually care for their workers.

There are statues of the Time Keepers in Ravonna's office. The camera pays extra attention to it. Keep reading for more about Time Keepers and cinematography choices.

What. What sort of relationship does Ravonna and Mobius have? What is going on there? I am really confused.

Who is this "analyst on the side?" What is going on there?

Ravonna is MEGA SUS. Along with that, the Time Keepers are mega sus.

She signs R. Slayer. Yeah. Slayer. Not at all subtle, Marvel. Letting us know that she'll do the deed if needed.

Mobius you are sending me mixed signals. What do you want?

Okay, Mobius saying Loki was a "cold, scared boy" and an "ice runt" and stuff was totally a jab at Loki being Jotun.

Mobius saying Loki is insecure because of Lady Loki is...probably true.

With the elevator, the camera stops and focuses on the Time Keepers.

The Creation of the TVA, the beginning of time, the end of time, all classified. That is sus.

Loki almost crying over Ragnarok was good. Let him cry over the destruction of his home.

Loki being the one to discover something the TVA had no idea about after a day is on brand for Loki. And it shows how the TVA really are vulnerable.

Mobius: Really? In front of my salad?

No but the object lesson was well done and actually did help me understand what Loki was talking about.

Casey! Casey drinks grape juice! Imagine how confusing this is for Casey though. Loki is captured, threatens to gut you like a fish (whatever that means), and now he's dressed like an analysist, stealing your juice box. Does Loki get Casey more juice?

Honestly, Loki looking at everything logically and scientifically is fantastic. Adds to the science = magic thing Marvel's got going on, since Loki is a sorcerer.

Loki saying volcanoes are cool is fun. I agree. Volcanoes mean the planet is geologically active, which means we won't die. Also, there is a volcano named Loki on one of Jupiter's moons. I wonder if the creators knew that and put Loki in Pompeii because he is already linked with volcanoes.

Mobius telling Loki to start off small and Loki completely disregarding that felt very personal to me.

Loki being absolutely chaotic and telling everyone they were going to die while speaking perfect Latin was iconic. I want more of that content. Let the man be buckwild.

Again, Loki finding something out after a day that the TVA never knew about is on brand.

"Be free, my horned friends, be free!" I love that way too much.

Mobius being obsessed with jet skis wasn't something I expected, but I'm down for it. Heck, even Loki admitted they were cool.

The discussion on beliefs is going to lead to saying the Time Keepers are bullcrap. Hopefully.

Grapes and nuts are "candy" on Asgard. So, when Loki was eating grapes in Ragnarok, we can interpret that as him eating M&Ms. Second, this might add to something I've seen around here. I've seen things about a book somewhere with Loki saying chocolate fountains are mythical (which is really funny to me). So, I guess Asgard really doesn't have chocolate.

Oh my gosh, so many apocalypses between 2047 and 2051...hopefully none of those happen in real life.

Roxxcart is probably part of Roxxon, something that has been around in Iron Man movies.

Lady Loki got the shovel thing from Roxxcart that she left in Oklahoma! The minutemen said it was from the early third millenia, which is where we are now! 2050 also fits that category!

I saw something about the file saying Class 8 hurricane...there are only 5 classes...which means this is a crazy storm.

Does B-15 want Loki dead? This is a legitimate question, because I think she does. Dead or pruned.

Loki looking around at the storm, I love it. This could be him loving science, or him missing Thor, since Thor creates storms. Also, at this point Loki probably things Thor dies shortly after him in the sacred timeline, so Loki would be particularly sentimental about Thor.

I love Loki drying himself off and not anyone else. And B-15 yelling about his magic. And Loki's motions are so fluid, it's so aesthetically pleasing, I love it.

Dudes, I thought B-15 was going to try to prune Loki when they were alone.

Okay, was Lady Loki bsing about the azalea sale, or does Roxxcart actually do that? I want to know.

Wunmi Mosaku did a really good job as Lady Loki, I loved it.

Loki being annoyed at Lady Loki and saying he understood how Thor felt, does that insinuate Loki can do what Lady Loki was doing?

B-15 and C-20 were both very shaken after being possessed by Lady Loki. I wonder how that felt for them? We've had different explanations of mind control/brainwashing/similar from Clint, Bucky, Daisy, Mack, Fitz, and Monica in the MCU (including AoS). I wonder what is specific to Lady Loki's possession.

C-20 kept going on about something being real. What was that about?

C-20 revealed the location of the Time Keepers to Lady Loki!

Lady Loki not wanting to be called Loki could be a sign she is Sylvie.

There's something weird where Loki's voice echoed around while the camera focused on Lady Loki. Maybe she's telepathic?

Someone needs to keep a tracker on people telling Loki this isn't his story in a show literally about him.

But, that does add to themes for his life, and how everything was always about someone else in his life. He was always a supporting character for Thor, for Odin, for Thanos. Now, even in his own story, everyone insists he doesn't matter.

I was wondering what the reset charges would be used for. I wasn't expecting a massive bombing of the sacred timeline! Wow! That was unexpected and I loved it!

Okay, this isn't from me, this is from New Rockstars. But to list all the places mentioned on chronomonitors, either bombed or not: Knowhere, Barcelona, Niflheim, Dartford, Phong Nha, Lisbon, Vormir, Thorton, Cookeville, Asgard, Rome, Sakaar, Barichara, Porvoo, Ego, Titan, New York City, Tokyo, Hala, Kingsport, Xandar, Beijing, Madrid, Portland, Jotunheim. Bolded are other planets. Those are almost all the planets visited in the MCU. So fun easter eggs there!

I like Lady Loki's aesthetic. The fingerless gloves, the cloak, I love it. And YES SHE ISN'T SEXUALIZED. So many genderbent characters are excuses to sexualize women. But Lady Loki is just as covered as the male Lokis.

Lady Loki just...left the time door open for Loki to follow...for a really long time...I'm worried he's running into a trap.

What is Loki going to do now?

Theory time y'alls: Lady Loki bombed the sacred timeline to flush the minutemen out of the TVA, leaving it defenseless. And she's gonna go after the Time Keepers themselves. We know she gets into the TVA from trailer footage, and that's what I think we're gonna see next episode. I think she (like the Loki we are following) is upset over the lack of free will, and she plans to change that. That's why she wasn't interested in helping Loki "take over" the TVA, because she doesn't want to become the leader of a new TVA, she wants it destroyed.

Alright, back to the Time Keepers stuff. They keep focusing on the middle Time Keeper. Even in the end credits they have a weird cut to focus directly on his face. I'm not 100% on this, but I like this theory. That face is similar to Jonathan Major's, the actor confirmed to be Kang the Conqueror in Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Kang is a well known time travelling villain in Marvel. Maybe he is Kang, and is using variant versions of himself (that's a Kang thing in the comics) to mess with the timeline, and no one expects that from him. Also, Renslayer was his S/O for a bit in the comics, and they keep framing her in front of that one Time Keeper's face. I feel like this would be a good way to set up Quantumania and to show how sus the Time Keepers are.

Also, Loki was absolutely adorable the entire episode. And he got to sleep! Yay for him!

Again, I enjoyed, and can't wait for next week!