#Fun fact: I am so bad about finishing games and don't tend to play for much time

[raijin-ghostar]

I remember being in elementary school and having to choose,

Do I visit with my friends or do I focus on school work?

and you get in trouble for visiting with your friends,

but you need it so bad because

there is absolutely

no

other

time,

no one had the ability to just go and talk online or

go over to your house

so you'd have to juggle,

reprimanded for having fun.

Now you're an adult and you have to do the same thing.

but you give a shit about your job,

and you actually want to do it,

it drains you to plan out every fucking social moment,

during the in betweens,

they have no idea the things you want to say

and the conclusions you want to make

or the fact that when you have a conversation you want it to

begin and end

without an interruption,

a task or a customer

And imagine being so desperate that you take

a shorter break, come in on your days off,

just so you can hang out

lonely enough that you try

to fill up every single moment possible,

because you know this time will pass

and night will come,

alone again

And I am so tired

because, no one gives a fuck about me

not really

if they did, they would spend more time

learning about me

or hanging out with me,

or getting to know what I'm like

when I get to finish having a conversation, like

when I actually get somewhere with what I want to say and

do you know how sad someone has to be

to spend the better part of a year showing up to work instead

of having a day off or a day in bed,

just because they might get a chance to have finally have

a full conversation, a moment at last

where nothing interrupts, thanks to my own tasks

where I can just be the person I am,

talk to a person I know that can

fill me up inside, feelings of love,

a weight coming off of me, I can't get enough

but you can't love me, it's easy to see

when you take all this time with me, but

won't give me your own free time

it hurts and it shows

how meaningless I really am

Sure, everyone is busy

everyone has things they would much rather be doing

than spending any time outside of work with me,

and I get it, I do, really

I remember two days off

no set schedule

barely any time to myself

the full-time, management routine

I get it

really

but I have no one able to meet me

not in the way I have been wanting

Halfway

something nice between us,

a moment, just relaxing

I don't know, maybe

a few hours in my bed

scrolling and napping

A TV show or a video game

or just a walk and talk, I guess

I'm an idiot for thinking anyone

would ever get to that point with me,

especially you, when you play your

very specific game of

walking the line

Because in adulthood people just don't do that,

a classic friendship, I guess, really

It's like we all forget we're human beings with

needs and emotions that need tending

and I remember what it was like to spend my time

with someone who was funny and relaxing

someone who wanted nothing more

than to spend all their time with me

and it was more than welcome

I guess I'm jealous

of myself, in the past

Sometimes you don't know how good you got it because you're so focused on the bad

It doesn't matter because the reality is

you get what you get

there is no sense in trying to change it,

other people's feelings or their actions.

if they want to leave you all alone,

you gotta let them.

no matter how much it hurts to feel like

you're going without,

let them leave you if they want,

so you can let go of the doubt,

the useless stress, all the pain,

let it go so that real love can find you,

once again

[criminalhobbit]

People I'd like to get to know

Thank you to @luv-not-hate for tagging me in this! I'm not used to posting anything on here but this seems fun :).

Last song: Lady Writer by the Dire Straits. It has a KILLER guitar solo that isn't as well-known as the one in Sultans of Swings and I'm absolutely living for it.

Favorite color: There aren't that many colours that I don't like! I tend to go for deep blue, but forest green is a close second. Pink is just about the only colour I'm not a fan of.

Last movie/TV show: I recently finished Bodies on Netflix, and it was...ok. Not a bad show, just not as good as it could have been in my opinion. Now if you're looking for a mind blowing time travelling show of amazing quality, I HIGHLY recommend Dark on Netflix!

Sweet/spicy/savory?: YES/ Yes / Yes. I LOVE anything sweet! Baking is a hobby of mine so you'll often find me in the kitchen making banana bread or brownies when I should really be doing something else. It's my way of procrastinating. I like spicy food! I like to think that I can handle it pretty well? At least as well as a white person can handle it ;). As for savoury, who doesn't like savoury food?

Relationship status: Single, and perfectly happy. While I do find the idea of partnership appealing, I don't crave it or need it to be happy. I've got friends and family and I am quite pleased with my situation.

Last thing I googled: How chocolate was brought into the French court during the 16th-17th history. I'm a sucker for history and always looking for fun party facts :). If you were interested, it was through King Louis XIV's wife, Maria Theresa of Spain, who loved hot chocolate and made it popular in France :).

Current obsession: I sold my soul to Larian. I'm deep in Baldur's Gate III these days (though who isn't??) and loving every second of it. It really reminds me of Dragon Age Origin in the best of ways. I love how you can gather allies and get them to play a meaningful part of how your story will end, as it did for the DA:O ending. I haven't finished the game yet but I'm in Act 3! My other obsession is the Legend of Drizzt series. I've been playing DnD since I was 17 and I've recently made the switch from player to DM, and so I picked up the Drizzt series as a way to familiarize myself with the lore of DnD. So far I'm on book 5 (of like 40??) and adoring it!

Here's hoping the following folks enjoy these questions as much as I enjoy sharing. Please include me in the mention so I can receive notices of your response if you decide to play.

@americankimchi @azdesertwillow @miraamell @saltybiowarefantears

[stellamancer]

Yes yes I am here for the selfship questionnaire and I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS!! 🗣️

🎵 💍 ☕️ 🌌

ERIKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HELLO. I'm guessing I'm for our most hated handsome blue eyed monster right? Right LMAO

What are some song lyrics that make you think of your f/o/your relationship with your f/o?

REALLY MAKING ME DIG INTO THE PLAYLIST HUH.... You're making movies in your head when you fall asleep Having nightmares, dreaming that I'm gonna leave I know you've always been afraid of ending up alone Somebody hurt you, now you're waiting on a dial tone - With You Around by Yelllowcard It's that last line man LMAO. I know I tend to make it about me I know you never get just what you see But I will never bore you, ba-a-by (And there's a lot of lame guys out there) - ME! by Taylor Swift (feat. Brenden Urie) I tried not to put more Taylor Swift lyrics BUT BUT BUT. you can see what I mean here??? YOU CAN SEE MY VISION RIGHT??? Actually I could do a whole post on the damn niku and gooj playliust. I would. Maybe with enough prodding.

What’s your dream wedding?

OH GOD. I'm. To be honest, I'm so bad at picturing weddings for myself. So because, I think I'd say we'd elope! But, dresses are pretty, so I think if he caught me staring at a wedding dress for longer than half a second, we'd end up doing a wedding. I guess then it'd be a western style wedding? Gojo in a tux man. We can break our brains over that mental image. I think the conversation of a traditional Japanese wedding would come up but he saw me look at that dress so LMAO. The thought of a wedding would make me nervous... but I think it'd end up being fun.

How do you comfort each other on a bad day?

RE: Me being bad at comforting people from Merms' ask. I'm not really good at finding the words, I think. But I think comforting him would be another case of being nearby, being close. Trying to hug or cuddle. In Gojo's case specifically, I would offer him cake. Sweets. Break out the emergency stash . HE PROBABLY FEEDS ME TOO. GOD. i'm so easily comforted by food, you don't even know. But he can teleport, so like... I'm moping and he disappears and comes back with a Kobe cheesecake... Or okonomiyaki from Osaka... Boxes full of omiyage treats... He'd probably start playing a game for me to watch him breeze through... I'd probably get riled up if he flawlessly beat a boss I struggled on. Man, I hate that man LMAO.

What was your first date like?

Okay. I wasn't going to answer this because Willow asked this too, but I think I actually will. I'll make it fun when I get to Willow's LMAO. Please look forward to it!! Anyway, the fact that the first date was actually a first date would completely fly over my mind. You see, the way I pictured us meeting is running into each other at sweet shops and bakery grand openings. and like. one time we're forced, by the shop staff to, idk, split a huge fucking parfait and like both of us could finish it on our own individually, but we end up sharing it and he's nice enough to pay for it. And that was the first date. I didn't know it was a date, I thought i was getting a free parfait lmao.

[solmints-messyocdiary]

My Notes on Her pt. 1/???

The subject is a 6'6? 6'7??...

Caucasian?? (I have no idea what her exact nationality is) - Nor her name but everything in its time.

Female.

~

Most of her victims are males. She enjoys it when they challenge her and put up a fight, however, quoting her "but weak, pathetic ones are fun too. You're safe though, not my type." I don't know whether to be relieved, offended, or disappointed.

~

Technique: brutal and messy. Keen on leaving as many non-lethal cuts/bruises before the finishing blow. Likes to play with her food. Takes her time. In my opinion, she should add more pizzazz to it.

Dunno, pose them in a way?

Throw flowers on the bodies?

Carve her initials???

I am not expecting much but yeah. Her kills have nothing that makes them stand out only that many are men and are extremely brutal. But even that can be confused as gang activ Fight gon

Eh, I have no idea. There aren't even gangs around here and the neighborhood is fairly calm minus the odd stalker here and there haha winkwink

~

Inhumanly strong and durable, surprisingly quick-footed as well. High pain tolerance. She broke her left hand due to exertion but is still using it. Need to buy more bandages and those wrist thingies for her.

~

She seems to like challenging games or anything that makes her solve hard riddles or puzzles.

~

The subject tends to be more talkative when making sarcastic remarks, which is always. Yay...

~

Apparently graduated from philosophy (red flag) with a minor in psychology (even bigger red flag!)

~

According to her... Had a good childhood too... odd but not unheard of for her to be like she is.

Unwilling to share more information about her family or her growing up.

~

Her favorite movie is "Heathers," so one has to wonder if her personality is really her own or... she does tend to act like a J.D. wannabe at times. She even tricked me by using his backstory as her own... fuck me I guess.

~

Can crack jokes at any occasion which is both hilarious but disturbing at the same time.

~

Affirms that she is 100% lucid when doing the slaying; "no voices in this head." Which makes it 10 times more terrifying than if she WAS hearing voices telling her to kill. Kind of sad about that, it might have made an interesting plot for a book or movie. Add some crazy Supernatural elements and boom! A blockbuster like all the 5000 others.

~

Comments that the first time she killed she vomited and had to clean up and move the body far away from that big patch of DNA. Didn't come out of her room for 3 days. I can't prove nor disapprove her claim but knowing her I should take it with a grain of salt. Hasn't given me any reason why she reacted like that. People don't tend to puke their guts out when doing something they like (even if that is gutting someone up.)

~

First victim was an alcoholic, probably smoked some shady shit too, was known for picking fights and beating his wife, hated by his neighborhood.

"No one would miss him..."

What I found weird was that apparently his spouse was searching for him and crying too...

Kinda glad that was the case for the guy.

Not for the woman but... why would she cry for a guy like that? I will never understand women who stay with those types... or anyone for that fact. If that was my father I would h..., but she finished him off too quickly. A quick stab, no momentum, no signature, no show.

Too bad. Bastard probably deserved more.

I also asked her why him exactly.

She replied, "Easy kill, was constantly drunk, not very smart or strong. No one would make a fuss about him. In fact, everyone seemed relieved when he didn't come back the next day... or the next month. Seemed perfect."

~

If you ignore the scars, homicidal tendencies and the super human strength along with the extreme apathy she possesses, she looks like a normal chick.

A tall, normal chick.

A tall, muscular and scary, normal chick.

I just saw her painting her nails (where did she even get the polish in the first place...) and watching some cheesy high school drama on TV with almost a hint of interest. She seems to enjoy those a lot I noticed. The messier and dumb, the better.

~

She's... odd.

Totally different from what I imagined her being like based on the newspaper articles.

I like her.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi! if it's alright, could i request a matchup for obey me or honkai star rail?

pronouns: they/them (i use both neutral and masculine terms)

sexuality: bisexual, on the aromantic spectrum.

intp-t, 9w1 / capricorn sun & moon

appearance: nineteen years old, 4'11, thin build. very pale skin, but i get freckles when i'm in the sun. i have blue-grey eyes, and have deep circles under them. i have blond hair that's chin length, and it waves a little at the ends– it's also known to be really soft. my clothing style is very casually goth, though sometimes it leans towards the punk aesthetic as well. i have a really bad rbf, so i have to actively change it to make people more comfortable around me.

likes: history, mythology, video games, anime (especially slice of life or psychological horror), thunderstorms, stuffed animals, and having a routine.

dislikes: noisy environments, making eye contact, people who don't clean up after themselves, and butterflies.

personality: people tend to know me as either a cheerful, energetic and outgoing person or as someone who's quiet, anxious and indecisive– usually, the former is with people who don't know me well, and the latter is reserved for closer friends. i'm very good at blending in with people and pretending to be more social than i actually am, but it drains a lot of my energy. i'm hardworking– but only with subjects i'm interested in, and tend to ignore things that i find boring. i enjoy routine and keep to a fairly strict one each day– i get really uncomfortable when it gets disturbed. i get anxious very easily, especially when interacting with others, and constantly worry about how i'm seen. although i'm usually not too talkative, i can talk for a very long time about the things that i enjoy, and have tons of trivia/fun facts stored away to pull out whenever they're needed.

hobbies: mainly video games– fire emblem, persona, hsr/genshin, and pokémon are some of my favorites. i also enjoy writing horror stories, but get nervous sharing them. i like to go biking or jogging, and usually do one or the other once a day. i'm a musician, too– i play the trumpet and compose my own pieces for fun.

hopefully this is okay? if not, feel free to ignore it! either way, thank you for reading this, and i hope you're doing well <3

Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while; I'm just getting over being sick. I hope you like your matchups!

In Obey Me, I match you with...

Thirteen loves watching psychological horror anime with you! That is totally up her alley. She also really likes slice of life but she's got a reputation to uphold.

Makes sure to help you avoid loud situations. She's planning all of her pranks now so that they include a muting spell. It has the added bonus of making sure the victim can't lecture her afterwards, so really, it's a win-win.

Thirteen is also a very outgoing person but understands that you need time to recharge.

I see Thirteen as someone whose love language is physical touch and quality time so she'd love to spend time with you while you're recharging just relaxing in comfortable silence.

Enjoys playing video games with you. Thirteen is a fan of survival horror games like "Dead by Daylight". I also see her as a fan of psychological horror visual novel games like "Doki Doki Literature Club".

Thirteen can be a bit messy sometimes, leaving things around her room. But she's not a slob and she cleans up regularly. If she knows it annoys you, she'll try to put things back in their places when she's finished with them.

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

Another one who would love to play video games with you. Stelle's a fan of anything that counts as a video game. She's not picky about what you play, as long as you can play it together in some way.

Stelle knows some people (March) can be pretty loud sometimes so she'll always make sure she knows where a quiet place is nearby so she can take you there to recharge.

If she's busy with a job or can't leave where she is, she'll usually ask Dan Heng to accompany you. He's the quietest person she knows and she trusts him to look after you while you get your energy back.

Of course, she'd rather go with you herself. She's not a huge fan of loud noises either so she'd like some peace and quiet herself.

Would watch horror movies with you. Be warned, she has a tendency to laugh at bad acting or bad special effects.

Stelle would also love to read your horror stories if you're comfortable letting her. She's got nothing but praise for your writing. She thinks you're very clever for writing such interesting things.

[ashren]

hhhhng I want answers to all of them for everyone BUT, how about:

Why did you give them the name they have? What is the in-universe reason for their name?

What inspired you to create your oc?

Does your oc have any notable skills or good personality traits? Why did you give them those traits? Why do they exist in-universe?

Which canon characters (if any) do the oc have bad relationships with? Why those characters?

Share a random piece of trivia about the creation of your oc. Examples: scrapped ideas or changes you didn't expect to make.

For Peter and Ren? No pressure to do 'em all, I'll be excited for any combination :)

AHHH thank you!!! I will absolutely Ramble on about my ocs so don't u worry heheh 💞

Why did you give them the name they have? What is the in-universe reason for their name?

Ren: I think I've actually answered this some time, a LONG time ago, but dont @ me i answer differently now LOL. In universe, he picked the name Ren because it's a shortening of Loren, the name of his Uncle who had the farm. The IRL reason for the name is because I see a lot of cool names at work and I write down my favs hahaaaa ((side note, i forgot until way after i created him, but the first guy i kissed at college was named Wren. I did not go anywhere.))

Peter: SOOO you get some bonus Calvin facts here too! Oringally Peter and Calvin were kind of the same character that I turned into two different guys. I had called them Peter kind of as a place holder bc I was reading a lot of Spideypool at the time, and well. You know what happens with placeholder names. Then I redesigned them both, and the demon felt more like a Calvin to me, so vampire boy got to keep the Peter name! In universe, Peter's original last name was something generic like Brown or Smith idk but once he was bit and Maggie started calling him Peter V. Pyre as a joke, it kinda stuck. (Later on, Florence ends up taking the name Pyre as well. Makes things a lot easier for everyone, and she says it feels more 'her')

Ok this is already long so I'm gonna put the rest under a cut!

What inspired you to create your oc?

Ren: My baby boy was my Outer World's Captain! That's how he started, my first play through was as "Ash" but only in name really. Then I finished the game and was like must consume fanfic, which then lead to me developing Ren as his own Boy. I had been working on a lot of lore for Ash and my Fallout 4 OCs! Then I was like "Ohhhhhh no,,,,, sorry my children Ren's my fav right now"

Peter: Cowboy Vampire. Needed one. Also a lot my ocs starts as loosely veiled self inserts so they tend to all be a little similar in like,,, body shape and size so I was like... Beefy cowboy vampire???

Does your oc have any notable skills or good personality traits? Why did you give them those traits? Why do they exist in-universe?

Ren: He's really good at like, being stealthy, because that's how I TRIED to play TOW the first time. I am impatient, so Ren get all the patience I don't have LOL. In Universe I ended incorporating it into his backstory- he's got a bit of a criminal background and learned how to get around unseen and unheard during that time. It helps that he's a small boy :3

Peter: He's got some fun Vampire ~abilities~ that probs vary from story to story bc im too lazy to stick a set of rules. Stuff like being able to see in the dark, and like, idk he's got some good reflexes. Also a heightened sense of smell. Bc of reasons. All of those are just cuz its fun tbh! I also have him being a really good shot with a pistol BEFORE his transformation, so with his reflexes as a vamp he's near unmatched.

Which canon characters (if any) do the oc have bad relationships with? Why those characters?

Ren: In TOW Canon, aside from the obvious, he's got a rough relationship with Max for... most of the story lol. For a while he'd ONLY travel with Max if Parvati was with them as well. She's the only one he wasn't constantly arguing with. Max's "violence is the immediate answer to everything" attitude reminds Ren of some not so great ppl in his past, and after Fallbrook, Max is on Ren's shit list. Max becomes more tolerable to him after Scylla, but Ren still never gets as close to Max as he does the other crew.

Also Lilya Hagen specifically bc she tried to "poison" him once.

Peter: I haven't really figured out a lot of details, but at least in the beginning, he and Calvin have a... tense relationship. Peter wouldn't consider them friends for a while, a work partner maybe. Calvin likes to push Peter's buttons and Peter doesn't really understand at first that Calvin is just having fun. Calvin IS a demon, though, so they know exactly what they're doing. ((Bonus fun fact: Peter is actually legitimately older than Calvin. Peter was born in uhh some time in the 1790s? and Calvin was born in 1933))

Share a random piece of trivia about the creation of your oc. Examples: scrapped ideas or changes you didn't expect to make.

Ren: Ren was supposed to be a lot younger at first! Originally I had him ~25 during the games events, but then as I developed him more i was like.... what if.... older??? A lot of that was inspired by my need to give Felix someone older than him that WOULDN'T fucking betray him in some way. So, you have my love for Felix to thank for Ren's age In turn, because I made him older, I ended up having a lot more time to play with in Ren's pre Halcyon life, which created Johnny.

Peter: Peter's still pretty new so there's not too much I haven't already talked about BUTTT a little peek into the future of Peter's story, I did end up expanding on the Maggie/Peter relationship, and it's part of Peter's eh origin story now~

[papercherries]

I try to refrain from writing full pieces on my phone but I don't think I can bare to turn on my computer and look at all my tabs. It's too much to think about. I think the touchscreen keyboard removes a sense of physicality from my writing. The actuation of the keys is a cathartic experience for me and helps me feel physically connected with the things I write.

I'm not depressed, at least not at the moment. I'm not happy either. I don't want to sleep but I am tired. I feel like there's a hole in my chest. Shot straight through. My chest is tight and my throat is raspy. I am ill but I feel fine. I keep thinking, I wish I existed. I know I exist, these words are proof of that. Sure it could all be a simulation of some kind but that doesn't take away from the fact I exist, even as a line of code or a jolt between synapses.

I think it's because I felt today wasn't very productive. However I have had less productive days. I went to the shops to get bread and carrots (not for the same meal), I finished a game I had been playing, I received a reply from a message I'd sent to an actor. But I think the real issue comes from one of my daily activities.

Everyday for around 1-6 hours, I'll play guitar. I mean that very loosely, whether I'm just playing with chords or playing short instrumentals I know off by heart. At minimum, an hour of that time is spent singing as well. It's how I release a lot of energy and emotions. If I'm sad I'll usually play sad songs (not exclusively mind you), if I'm frustrated or angry ill play heavier songs (though 90% of the time they're played with bare acoustic with no amp because I don't wanna annoy my flatmates anymore than i do). If I'm happy I'll just play whatever I feel like.

It's extremely rare that I am ill (not including hangovers and physical injuries from violence), usually it doesn't affect me too badly either. I'll have small headaches and my shoulders tend to hurt but besides that I look fine. However, sometimes my throat will dry up. Usually it's not too bad either, sometimes happens after shows and such. Just a mixture of illness and concert screaming. But very rarely will I not be able to sing afterwards. Mind you, I'm still able to sing songs that don't require that part of my throat. Though it's difficult I can play around it. Though recently I've been playing heavier songs and testing with more shouting and heavier vocals. I find it incredibly fun though I imagine my neighbours don't. It's also great for letting off lots of energy I tend to build up, I always have pent up energy so it's always nice to get it out.

I dare say I'm quite good at singing as well, though you may not be able to tell from my practice as I tend to try to push myself and experiment and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If I had to curate something though, it probably would be a ok show. Though my stage fright is quite bad, though I can shake it off. My guitar is probably much less commendable but I haven't been doing that one my whole life so it's fair. Plus I'm completely self taught, though I have reached a point where I feel I just need to get physically better before I continue learning more mentally. Once I can play barre for 10 minutes straight I'll feel happier. Got weak little hands.

My point being, I couldn't do that today. I did some songs that had that more heavier feel, I even leaned into the sickly, rough feel with some bright eyes songs I knew would fit it. But I was really in a screaming and shouting mood, it just wasn't possible. I can't even talk in my normal voice, I'm like an octave lower than I usually am. So I've been singing a lot lower than usual today, a lot calmer as well. I probably shouldn't sing at all but I don't think that's possible. I'm the type to pipe, I'll sing to myself at every given moment of silence. For kitchen tasks, I find country songs are the ones that usually show up. Hallelujah comes up a lot in general (Leonard Cohen). When I'm cleaning, lots of indie songs. Sometimes I even have my own songs. I made a lovely little song that has a repeating chorus that is probably the catchiest thing I've ever conceived. Not being able to do that consistently as well has been awful.

Other small things it has affected. Me and my housemate are like blind cats. We meow to alert one another of our presence. If they don't meow back then they're not in their room. I mean I think we just do it out of habit but I need to give a real reason. I can't make a realistic meow. That pitch is completely locked off from me right now. I also can't make funny sounds! I can't say yipee! In a high pitched voice. I can't do a muscle man impression. The best I can do is a rough aussie accent where nobody else gets what I'm referencing. This is peak comedy my friends are missing out on. They're gonna love it when I rewatch big lez.

I hate being without the full potential of my voice. It's driving me up the fucking wall. I need it to fix itself within 3 days or I am fucked. I've got a concert and it's gonna be shouting and screaming and moshing and jumping. I need my voice. Throat soothers, whiskey and ice cream. Though I can't afford any of those so I'll just have to steal the throat soothers and ice cream.

Anyway rant over, this one will be interesting to explain at therapy.

[cyborghexapus]

A little thing about media and art I have on my mind.

I finished Lifeline - Voice Action Adventure for the PS2 today. It took me 12 hours (in game time) and I found 14 out of 16 'chips', almost unlocking every minigame. I want to talk about this little game, and I'll try to keep it short.

The game initially intrigued me for multiple reasons. The overall aesthetic (very Y2K, with some anime-esque elements in general tone and composition) is something that I 'vaguely' grew up around as a kid, even if I didn't experience much of it directly, and the fact that this is a PS2 exclusive, that is almost entirely controlled with your voice is just… cool, ya'know?

But the more I looked into the game (after I first saw famous internet funny man Jerma play it), the thing I saw dominating the identity of this game the most was twitch streamers and/or youtubers getting mad at the game and it's admittedly hard to wrangle voice controls. I get it; I've already been told by many people that I probably have more patience for this than most people.

And… yeah. Probably. But on top of that… even in spite of elements like the 'relationship' between Rio and 'The Operator' (player character) which includes, at times, mild flirtation or you, the player, asking her to do a "sexy pose"… I just couldn't bring myself to hate the game. Or, even dislike it.

Maybe this comes from my experience of having made something flawed, which I actively regret looking back on (and am actively remaking into something I personally think is better). Wherever it comes from, I see this game as a try. A genuine try, regardless of how many people (other than myself) like it.

And… to be honest… I don't really see much of any media or art as 'good' or 'bad'. Or, I guess, at least not in the same way as other people tend to, especially in mainstream conversations about things like that. They aren't objective things. In fact, I'd even argue there's very little, if anything, objective about the craft of any medium of art, even games.

Especially in games. I've seen plenty of people talk about games as 'objectively fun' and I'm sure most people I've seen talk that way mean it as a joke… but as I've gotten older, it's gotten harder and harder for me to tell when they are joking. Especially in scenarios when I like something "no one else" likes. Like… Lifeline.

I could say 'enjoyment's subjective' and leave it at that, but that feels so empty to me. I want to see more things - not just games - that aren't just clean. I wanna rewatch Andrei Tarkovsky's 'The Mirror' for the first time again. I wanna share and laugh and cry and think about things that aren't just… products first. Products, that follow seemingly ever confusing rules about what's """fun""". Or """good""".

I know I'm not alone in this, but… I guess like with Lifeline… I don't really know how to talk about it much either.

[penisman420-69]

Mark: Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Five Nights at Freddy's, an indie horror game that you guys suggested, in mass, and I saw that Yamimash played it and said it was really really good... So I'm very eager to see what is up. And that is a terrifying animatronic bear! "Family pizzeria looking for security guard to work the nightshift." Oh...12 a.m. The first night. If I didn't wanna stay the first night, why would I stay any more than... five... Why I stay any more than two- hello? Okay...

Phone starts to call

Mark: Hello?... Hello? Oh, I can't move. That is a creepy skull, there's creepy things on the wall. Oh, hello.

Phone Guy: Hello?

Mark: Hi!

Phone Guy: Hello?

Mark: HI!!!

Phone Guy: Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night.

Mark: Ugh...

Phone Guy: Um, I actually worked in that office before you.

Mark: Ah...

Phone Guy: I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact.

Mark: Hm?

Phone Guy: So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming...

Mark: Uugh! U-hu-hu...

Phone Guy: ...but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about.

Mark: Eh...

Phone Guy: Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week.

Mark: Okay, sound goo- O...

Phone Guy: Okay? Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read.

Mark: Uh-huh.

Phone Guy: Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.

Mark: Okay.

Phone Guy: A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike...

Mark: (Scared laughing)

Phone Guy: where fantasy and fun come to life.

Mark: Uughuh!

Phone Guy: Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.

Mark: (Totaly in panic mode)

Phone Guy: Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know...

Mark: Yeah!

Phone Guy: but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No.

Mark: (Scared laughing)

Phone Guy: If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right?

Mark: Okay!

Phone Guy: Okay.

Mark: Okay...

Phone Guy: So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit.

Mark: No way...

Phone Guy: Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night.

Mark: (Scared laughing)

Phone Guy: Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long.

Mark: Ugh...

Phone Guy: Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87.

Mark: THE BITE?!

Phone Guy: Yeah.

Mark: What bite!?

Phone Guy: I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?

Mark: WHY?!

Phone Guy: Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person.

Mark: Oh, OH!

Phone Guy: They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to... forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit.

Mark: Oh, I get it.

Phone Guy: Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices...

Mark: Uh-huh.

Phone Guy: ...especially around the facial area.

Mark: Uh-huh.

Phone Guy: So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...

Mark: Yeah!

Phone Guy: ...and death. Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh.

Mark: Ugh! Oh, why... What happend?

Phone Guy: Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary.

Mark: THAT'S NOT GOOD...

Phone Guy: Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night.

Call ends

Mark: GOOD NIGHT?!

Mark: OH NO... OH THAT'S BAD! I understand what I need to do. I need to watch the cams so that they don't come after- ONE'S MISSING!!

Bonnie is in the Backstage

Mark: OH, HI! There you are, pretty bunny thing... Okay... Okay, okay, I get it, I get it, I get it, where'd you go? You're still there? Alright, you stay there. I don't know if it's good that you're staring at me! Oh my god. I thought it was weird that it couldn't move, but this is totally different... than any horror game I've ever played. So what you gotta do in case you not getting it is you gotta watch the cameras to make sure they don't come by- You got a little much power- Is he still there? Hi, you're still there. Wait a minute, what, DID YOU MOVE?! Okay, you didn't move. You don't move neither... You don't moving nothing... If I see you moving... I don't wanna see anything...Oh-oh-oh MY GOD! THIS'S TERRIFYING! Why do I leave doors so open, why isn't there enough power-

Bonnie is in the Dining Area

Mark: Hi, okay, you moved again. Hi. What are you doing there? Might be getting a little close to me...

Camera goes static

Mark: O-oh, oh, no, OH NO, NO, NOOO! No-no-no... Nooo, no, no, close the clo-ose, closing, closing! Eh. YOU'LL NEVER GET ME! Okay, you're over there, alright...It's okay. Why didn't I have enough power for lights? Stay right there you douchebag! You stay right the F there... God, dammit! That was like- this is like the most terrifying game I ever played! They're gonna pop out at me! Oh, god, he's gone. Hi. Okay. You just gonna alternate between the two places, it's totally fine. And your friends, they ain't moving. They're not moving, are they? I see where I am. You're not near me. So, that's good. Just gonna periodically check... How much long do I need- I need last to 6 a.m. Oh god, am I gonna have enough power? If I run out of power thy'll able to get me! Oh god... You stay right there! Why am I still using some power? O-oh god... Seriously, I what... this like... this like... bad! You're still there, okay. This is a first night, they said it should be easy to first night so I only assuming one of them... just gonna wandering around and it is a creepy bunny guy. ♪{Happy fun time at Freddy's, in fun land... having such a wonderful time...}♪ Okay, so, you still there? Okay, you still there... I'm gonna name you... Bunny Blallagy-

Camera goes static

Mark: OH GOD WHERE'D YOU GO?! Oh god, he's here? Hello? Where'd he go? Hi again, okay. You stay right the F there! I don't want to have to deal with you...

Mark closes both doors

Mark: Probably shouldn't do that, I need to conserve power. God dammit I was like have the damn thing in- I think the doors were down. You're still there? Oh-kay... Oh-kay. Oh-kay! (Scared laughing)

Music starts

Mark: I hear that... I HEAR THAT! OH GOD! WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?! WHERE'S HE?! U-UGH! U-UGH! WHERE IS HE?! Where'd you go? Where'd you go, where'd you go, where are both of them, both of th-

Bonnie is in the West Hall

Mark: H'i, you are really close to me! Oh god, it's not 6 a.m. yet?

Chica is in Restrooms

Mark: Hi. Okay. So I think I just need to keep the left door closed? (Crying) NOT OKAY NOT OKAY! Is he behind that door? No, where'd he go? Where-

Chica is in the East Hall

AH! OH HI HI HI HI HI HI OKAY OKAY, I DON'T HAVE MUCH POWER LEFT. What you gonna do? Is the other one still there? U-uh! HI... Oh, you moved again! Where where where? (Scared laughing) What do I do, what do I do-

Chica is in E. Hall Corner

Mark: OOOH YOU'RE RIGHT SO BEHIND THAT DOOR! OH, WHAT HAPPENS IF I OPEN THE DOOR?! I'm running out of power. Oh, I'm gonna run out of power! Is he there? I don't want- I don't- I do- I don't wanna die... AH, ONE PERCENT POWER?! (nervous grudging sound)

Power out, doors open

Mark: AH! ... Oh NO! OH NO, NO NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Oh no no no no no...no no...

Freddy flashes in left door

Mark: HIIII! OH, GAWD DAMMIT! HOW'RE YOU DOING?!

6 a.m. chimes

Mark: Oh, did I make it? I make it? Yeah-ha! Oh god not again! Why would I do this stupid job?! Oh-kay... Okay. So I ran out of power, but...

Phone starts to call

Mark: OH HI, HI AGAIN! You got to be some "sage advice" for me? Yep, okay, yep, I know, yep, yep yep yep, what I can do for you? I know! Oh god...

Phone Guy: Uhh, Hello? Hello? Uh, well, if you're hearing this and you made it to day two, uh, congrats!

Mark: (laughs in panic)

Phone Guy: I-I won't talk quite as long this time since Freddy and his friends tend to become more active as the week progresses.

Mark: What?

Phone Guy: Uhh, it might be a good idea to peek at those cameras while I talk just to make sure everyone's in their proper place.

Bonnie is in Dining Area

Mark: No.

Phone Guy: You know... Uh... Interestingly enough, Freddy himself doesn't come off stage very often. I heard he becomes a lot more active in the dark though, so, hey, I guess that's one more reason not to run out of power, right?

Mark: (laughs in panic)

Phone Guy: I-I also want to emphasize the importance of using your door lights. There are blind spots in your camera views, and those blind spots happen to be right outside of your doors. So if-if you can’t find something, or someone, on your cameras...

Bonnie is in the West Hall

Mark: Ugh-h!

Phone Guy: ...be sure to check the door lights. Uh, you might only have a few seconds to react... Uh, not that you would be in any danger, of course. I'm not implying that.

Mark: Of course!

Phone Guy: Also, check on the curtain in Pirate Cove from time to time. The character in there seems unique in that he becomes more active if the cameras remain off for long periods of time. I guess he doesn't like being watched.

Bonnie is in W. Hall Corner

Mark: UGH-GH! UHH!

Phone Guy: I don't know. Anyway, I'm sure you have everything under control! Uh, talk to you soon.

Call ends

Mark: Where's Pirate Cove? Why are you going to leave me with this? Don't leave me like this!Where's, where's Big Yellow?

Chica is in Dining Area

Mark: There's Big Yellow. Is he still there? He's still there? YES YOU SILL THERE! VERY GOOD! VERY GOOD! Oooooh dooon't like th... Is he still there? I'm so going run out- Okay he left, okay. Okay! We're okay! We're going be fine, we're gonna be totally fine. We will be fine, hello. Hello, bubsy, where's the other guy? Where's the other guy? Where's he?! Where's he, where's he, where's he, where's he, where-

Bonnie is in the West Hall

Mark: Oh, there... Okay. He's not-

Freddy looks straight in the camera

Mark: Oh, HIII! HEY, FREDDY, HOW U DOING?! Okay. He will be nearby? You stay there! Where's the other one, where's the other one, where's the other one? There he is. Okay. I am pan- I'M LOSING MY SHIT RIGHT NOW! I'M NOT OKAY WITH THIS!

Camera goes static

Mark: OH GOD NOT AGAIN! NO DO DO DO THAT! No no no. Don't you be- Oh god!

Bonnie is in W. Hall Corner

Mark: AH! HE'S RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR! UH! HI!

Chica is in East Hall

Mark: HI! Okay I'm- I'll keep my eye on you! Oh god, where'd you go? Where'd you go? Kay... GOD, THIS NIGHT IS LASTING FOREVER!

Bonnie pops in West Door

Mark: AH! ISTHATAFAGA! ISEWAMEMEGE! IT'S NOT OKAY! Oh oh oh... Okay, so what be-

Chica is in Dining Area

Mark: Hi... "Let's Eat!" Let's eat what? You still there? Okay, he's gone. Good. Stay gone, forever, and ever and ever and ever, oh, you're coming back! Either that or you're leaving. Oh, I'm not gonna have enough- I'm not h- My butt is going be munched! I'll be shoved into a teddy bear outfit. And they're gonna laugh! Where's he? Where'd you g-

Bonnie pops in West Door

Mark: AH! U-fe-fe-fe... That Bunny wants to get my gibblets, but he can't have em! Not today! Not ever... ♪{Good thing Freddy staying in his house.}♪ Hi mister- Wait, Bunny, you were just outside my door! Kay... Where's the Ducky? Where's mister- is that him- No, no Ducky there...

Chica is in Restrooms with hostile look in camera.

Mark: Hi, (Scared laughing), Hi mister Ducky. (Crying) God, this night is lasting so long... I just wanna go home. I'll never play this game again. I'll be a good boy! God dammit. It's would be terrifying if you controlled the cameras with like an Oculus Rift or something? Oh, my god. Cause you just move your head back and forth... Oh, my god. Hi again. Where's the other one? Where'd you go, where'd you go? Oh, there he is. Okay, so long as you two stay right there, you'll be good! You look very pretty! Uh, where's the Pirate Cove Guy- Oh, here's Pirate Cove, okay. So I just gotta... I just gotta keep an eye on you guys. Gonna be fine! OH, oh I bet using the camera takes power too, I'm down to 34%, I've got 3 hours to go!

Music starts

Mark: No. You're still there. You're still there. You're still there. You're looking at me now.

Foxy is in Pirate Cove

Mark: HI PIRATE COVE MAN!!! RARRR! HU-OHG... Oh, where'd they go, still there, still there? Pirate Cove Man! How u doin'? Oh, man, I love workin' at Didney Worl, it's ma faavorite...

Foxy enters his pre-sprint phase

Mark: HI WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR CAGE?!! PLEASE, GET BACK IN! I DON'T WANT YOU OUT OF THERE! HE'S COMING FOR ME? Oh, he's coming for me! Oh, why do I have to watch three of them? I'm like ligit freaking out right now. I'm not okay with this. Oh god, they moved. Where'd you move to, oh, you're coming down the hallway, ha? Which one are ya? Not left Pirate Cove yet... You still there... Coming down that hallway... Pirate Cove Man, how're you doing Pirate Cove Man?

Camera goes static

Mark: No! I got 2 hours left! No no no! Nooo! What's that sound?

Bonnie is in W. Hall Corner

Mark: Oh, he's right there. Well, he's not here JUST yet. I don't wanna run out of power. Oh, the sounds, I don't like them.

Foxy sprints to office

Mark: AH, FUCK! NO! OH GOD!

Foxy attacks!

AH-HAH, FUCKING FUCK! I TRIED TO PUSH IT! OH-OH MY GOD! Ah... Oh...

Game Over

Mark: Oh, game over indeed! Oh, are those my eyeballs? Auh... (coughs) Oh hi... Okay. So that's Five Nights at Freddy's, I couldn't even survive two, GOD DAMMIT! HAH! OH, GOD! Oh, I tried to hit the door- I tried so bad... Oh... Okay. Okay, thank you all so much for watching, check out the other scary games that I played, if you want to play it by yourself, you can check it in the description bellow. If you REALLY want me to play it again and try to BEAT it, let me know in the comments below. Thanks again everybody and as always, I will see YOU in the next video. BYE-BYE!

YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS WHO IS THIS WHO DID THIS WHO ARE YOU I'M GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER

[essektheylyss]

Fanfic ask game for procrastinating on writing, that's what I'm understanding here, got it.

(tagged by @mllekurtz, thank you! these are super fun questions)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

55! Jeeeeeez that's a lot.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

295k. (Maybe it's because I come from the writing month world but that's the only stat I genuinely pay attention to lol.)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

In current times, only Critical Role—back in the day I wrote on ff.net for Heroes and Castle and a few YA books.

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

before it buries me

This was... actually my first shadowgast fic! One-shot set right after 91.

now I will ask you to be brave

Okay, so, this fic. I will not describe it, as I don't want to get anyone's hopes up. I started it right after hiatus with lofty ambitions and promptly realized my hubris, and now it is definitely never going to be finished. I did not get far. My deepest apologies to anyone who has read it and wanted more.

seeing eye to eye

One-shot of the nein running into Essek's family, and Beau understanding him a little better, rich kid with shitty parents to rich kid with shitty parents. A very specific characterization of Deirta in here, mostly filtered through Beau's mentality, which was so fun to write.

not from the absence of violence

OLD GUARD AU MY BELOVED. I desperately want to write in this au more but have not had the time or ideas, but holy shit I love this au so much.

cruel tricks the gods play

Another pre-97 shadowgast one-shot—the peace talks go very wrong and Caleb and Essek end up pulling a Titanic on a plank of wood after the ship sinks. Very fun, very no longer canon-compliant.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

So, okay, I do not, but this is a Thing for me, because I have, inexplicably, deep panic about responding to ao3 comments. I do not know why. I can feel physical panic thinking about it now. I aggressively hate it because I do really want to respond to comments because commenters are so lovely! I think it is a combination of my brain not knowing the culture of ao3 interaction well enough that it seems alarming (thanks, neurodivergence) and college screenwriting workshops in which I was taught not to respond during critique.

In any case, I do not have the same weird panic about tumblr interactions, so I'm always down to chat here.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

You know, for all of the angst that I write, I don't really write angsty endings. I think my two main Verin-centric fics (laid out one by one and this guilt-ridden heart) end kind of angstily, because that relationship isn't gonna be fixed in a conversation. But in general I think the worst I've got is bittersweet.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't—I'd have to have a really, really good concept to write a crossover.

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I can remember, though who knows if I got any in high school. I'm a little impervious to flames anyway—again, workshop classes helped with the reminders that critique is what's useful, while hate is just, 'you can't please everyone'.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do not!

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I mean, not that I'm aware of lol.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope.

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

I mean, currently? Shadowgast. I don't have an all-time.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

sweet child. "Someday!" she says, shaking her fist at an unforgiving god.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I've suddenly forgotten every comment I've ever gotten. I am pretty good at grounded settings when I put in the effort. I think I am good at matching character voices—far better than inventing new ones.

And in terms of writing process... I managed to decide somewhere along the way that I like my own writing? Which is very hard, but also once you do that, it's a lot easier to just write instead of being hung up on quality, and it's then easier to notice when you're falling out of your own voice or when you actually need to rewrite a scene. I think I forced myself into this practice because I am soooo bad at sitting down and editing, so I have to do it as I write, and I had to get over the "this writing sounds like me therefore it is bad" feeling to manage that. (This has been my "love yourself as a writer" high horse.)

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I overexplain. And on the other side, I lean so heavily into showing emotion via physical sensation that I forget to actually write the emotion.

And on a similar process high horse, I am so bad about feeling constantly like I need to write everything right now. This is primarily a problem because if I get too in my head about it, I end up writing none of it. I have not found a way to combat this, except to put one sentence in front of the other. (This is not helped by my ever-increasing pile of wips and ideas lol.)

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I patently refuse to do it, because I hate the idea of butchering a language I don't know, and because I tend to try to draw as little attention to the fact that a thing is written as possible, and if a language has to be translated via a glossary or something, it's drawing more attention to that, and even if it's something I'm leaving untranslated, someone who speaks that language will know that I have butchered it. That being said, I don't dislike it when I'm reading!

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Percy Jackson! I wrote so much PJO fic in middle school.

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

what luminous worlds await, if only for the sheer enormity of that project and my delight that it actually came together. Though I cannot mention that without mentioning Icarus to your certainty, without which I probably would not have even written the former.

Tagging (and please feel free to ignore if you so choose) @the-littlest-goblin @mithrilwren @sky-scribbles!

[miriossunshine]

hey it's the gay guy, i've always been super introverted, i hardly talk to anyone first, and tend to be very socially anxious. I don't deal well with conflict at all. When I'm with friends though im a completely different person, i like to make them happy and go out of my way to do so. i'm a huge blusher, and am awkward in situations where i'm being praised. as for my interests i like art, video games, math, and animals. thanks again <3 pro hero and villian please

hi there!! ^^ tysm for sending this in again!💞

i ship you with:

𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐬!

keigo makes the first move, as his laid back personality makes it easy for him to strike up a conversation with almost anyone. he’d come up with a chill conversation starter, something that would keep both of your interests and isnt bland small talk !

hawks is very observant of your social anxiety, looking to you for any signals that you may be feeling anxious when the two of you are out and about. he’s very go with the flow, and doesn’t mind at all if you need or want to leave a social situation. he’s totally cool with chilling in the privacy and comfort of your home together! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ as long as you’re happy, he’s happy!

he tries to remain rather neutral in times of conflict, especially so that you don’t get worried or stressed out! when conflict arises, hawks will take the reigns, confidently and calmly handling the situation with a level head so that you don’t have to stress about getting involved!! (*´꒳`*)

keigo is in love when he sees how much you relax and have fun around your friends and other people you’re comfortable with! he lives to see you happy and let loose omg ( ´ ▽ ` ) he chuckles and shakes his head when you’re determined to do something nice for him that’s out of your way, he feels so loved and boy does he love you even more T^T 💞

he 100% praises and compliments you all the time just to see you get blushy and flustered hehe >:3 and he points out the fact that your cheeks got redder because of his words, making you even more of a flustered mess bsnsndnsn \(//∇//)\

hawks loves to watch you play video games >^< he snorts when you lose but he also gets super hyped up, wings flapping and feathers ruffling, when you’re just about to win, too, whether it’s finishing the last lap in mario kart at 1st place or beating a really powerful villain/boss (≧∀≦)

i also ship you with:

𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫!

you both get flustered really easily and the rest of the league teases you guys about it to hIGH HEAVEN- spinner tries to compliment you but he’s stuttering the whole time and his attempts only make you blush more BSNSMSMNS. i think he’d develop a sense of confidence knowing that you’re quite similar to him in that aspect however, so he soon gains the ability to randomly give you a genuine compliment without turning a million shades of red bsjsjsnsks (￣▽￣)

but when you compliment or praise him .. that’s another story,, he’s a mess. he’s covering his face and groaning because you embarrassed him HAHA but like protect him plz ;;;

shuichi gets mad defensive when anyone tries to force you into situations that make you uncomfortable. when you’re feeling anxious around the lov during one of their meetings, no matter how simple the situation is, shuichi notices and he isn’t afraid to stand up for you against his comrades if they make you feel bad about your anxieties in social settings!

speaking of, spinner realizes that you’re not fond of confrontation, so he takes that on for you! the two of you would rarely fight since you’d get along so well, the conflict would mainly involve spinner and others due to his villainy or just in your defense (he’s a protective bf alright- he loves u😤💜)

you both love video games omfg you two could play them for hours and never get bored or tired. when you guys beat a particularly hard level, spinner instinctively hugs you or picks you up in the triumphant heat of the moment, and as soon as he realizes what he’s doing he’s a blushing mess aHAH- poor bb (//∇//) you often play video games in each other’s laps or sitting side by side, shoulders either constantly touching or often nudging each other, playfully ^w^

[nighttimepixels]

Heyhey Night! I have a buncha questions after seeing all your animations and they're just so cool so! I hope this is ok!! Can u animate normally too, or only pixel? Not that that's bad, just wondering! What's ur preferred kinda animation? Do u prefer lipflaps or lipsyncs? What's the hardest part of the animation process?? What's ur favorite?? Any part u don't like? What's a thing people don't see that u put a lotta time into? Do u have a fave animation u've done? Thank u btw for all ur art!!

Oh stars, okay, yeah- I’m happy to answer all these!! I’ll break them up so it’s easier to read X) And awww geez thank you so much for your support, sweet anon! It really makes my day when people say they like anything I’ve made, and stars knows it’s all the more true with the sweet sweet time sink that is animation   (´•̥̥̥\\ヮ\\•̥̥̥` )

I’ll also put this under a cut since it gets a bit long :)

Can u animate normally too, or only pixel?

This one cracks me up a little, don’t worry about it XD I totally can! In fact I enjoy it a lot - and... gods, animation software is a nightmare and a half, to be honest. That’s the biggest hurdle.

I do just straight up love pixel art and the aesthetic I can achieve with it, but I do at times miss ‘normal’ (non pixel?) animation, heh. Especially sound-syncing! I do all my pixel art in Asesprite which imo is the best pixel art program, not to mention made by an actual pixel artist - buuuut it doesn’t have a sound file option. Which makes sense! Er, frankly, most pixel artists wouldn’t... use it to animate like I do? More for games, or for looping gifs? So I can’t complain much, it makes a lot of sense that it’s a low dev priority.

Now, when it comes to other animation programs... I’ve tried a lot. Unfortunately, the ones that are preferable for the feel I like are either way out of budget (stares at TVPaint in the distance) or... well, have too high a learning curve for my single-person workflow, really. (OpenToonz, sigh...) And a lot of the free programs are good for getting a start in animation, but once you get to a certain point you really feel the limitations (whether it’s workflow, sound import, exports, trying to make something more finished than a rough...).

Then... there’s animation programs I just don’t like, and a lot of those are angled towards bone-style animations (nothing wrong with those, they just don’t fit my style? and are too much time investment for a single artist to output more quickly...), or are, well, freakin’ Adobe Animate.

I... gods, I do not like Animate (formerly Flash). And I made a whole 2 minute+ animation in it a couple years ago! (It’s very rough and bad and doesn’t make sense, pfff, not gonna link it XD) It’s... clunky, and vector oriented, and freaking lines don’t go where I want them too, and it tries to predict too much?? It’s hard to put to words, gah. For me, my animation style would be much more... raster oriented. Flow, hand drawn inbetweens, yaddayadda. Animate’s great for... plenty of things, but not for that kind of animation. There are far better animators than I who make it work with freakin’ aplomb though! So really, it’s just my taste, haha.

.... Er, that got long! I’ll cut off more rambling about animation software and tl;dr boil it down to “I love animating period, but turnaround is something I have to keep in mind as a freelancer, as well as budget, and my current focus is pixel animations for a number of reasons.” X)

What's ur preferred kinda animation?

I’m not exactly sure what this one means! Between pixel and non-pixel? Er, they both have their pros and cons, so I couldn’t say! But if I have to break down my current animations into categories, I’d say I have cutscenes, loop environments, and the broad game-like animations...

The first would be something like this animation feat. teasing Edge, the second would be something like this one with skesgo’s Starlan and Cinnamon, and the third is... everything else! From headsprite loops to ‘small’ characters running and so on.

Honestly, they’re all a lot of fun for different reasons! Cutscenes are generally the most challenging, but they give me the chance to push my limits and try and pull off something cool, whether I’m having to conserve frames (to keep the cost of a commission down) or whether I’m going more all out (which is a pricey commission, or a fun personal project, lol).

Loop environments are their own challenge - it may not look like it, but I put a lot of thought into how to make them look as natural as possible! From timing of talking characters, to where to place a blink, to exactly how many frames it’ll take to ‘soften’ a motion (so people aren’t just snapping between major poses) and so on - it takes... a lot of time to animate even simple scenes well, so I do a lot of mental math on how I can keep things affordable when someone approaches me for a commission. And frankly, I totally undercharge;; but I do my best!

Game-like animations are just fun. They range, they’re silly, to intense (I’ve animated fight animations before for game concepts), to indulgent, and beyond! Headsprites are always a delight, especially if I get to push the expression X) and I love tiny things (I mean... I am a pixel artist...) so getting to make lil tiny babs even just walking can be fun - and also, a lot more time consuming than you might thing, esp if you wanna make it smooth, like this lil Frisk I did last month or so:

Do u prefer lipflaps or lipsyncs?

oTL

B... both??

Okay, lipsyncing basically is very time consuming. AND, I freakin’ love it. I love puzzles, and when it boils down to it, that’s what super fun & expressive lip syncing is (some Ghibli animations are the heckin’ best for this)...

and, I’m a pixel artist, without sound-syncing capabilities in her main art program oTL Yeah, I can export frames and line them up and check but... gods, it’s so time consuming. I’ve tried it out of desperation - but for even five seconds of sound (sayyyyy a lil Vine...) that’s hours upon hours of transferring back and forth just to check.

So even though I love lipsyncs, they’re too time-consuming (and ergo, if I’m being commissioned, often too expensive) to do often! Someday I’d like to get back to doing them more often, but for now, practically I stick to/’prefer’, in the loosest terms, to do lipflaps. For the layman, this is that ‘two frame’ (maybe three) open-closed style of animating mouths- however, I’m working on ways to keep that style, but make it more expressive! It depends on the project - and in commissions, I’ll pretty much always prioritize giving the client a little more body animation than mouth animation, unless it’d really fit what they’ve requested.

What's the hardest part of the animation process??

.... damn, this is a tough one! Sometimes I’d say it’s the initial concept work - but it depends on what I have to work with. Sometimes that parts a breeze - and honestly freeing, bc I can take the time to try and push what I’ll do with it!

Roughing is one of my favorite parts, tbh. It can be tricky, sure, but getting to go from keyframes to in-betweens & smears to adding the flairs of secondary motion (think hair swishing, or coats flaring, etc) is so exciting and satisfying.

From there it’s all refining, and tweaking...

Hm. Honestly, the hardest is probably the initial cleanup and lining. It’s cool to see it come together, but it feels so much slower, and it can drag - and then you find bits that actually don’t translate well from the rough stage, so you have to go back and rework, and oof it can just drag in this phase, heh. Plus, I’m always tempted to add more frames, but it’s not always realistic - I’m a perfectionist, to say the least, so I’m constantly having to leash myself back so I don’t turn a project into a half-a-year undertaking, pff.

What's ur favorite??

Probably gave myself away talking about the roughing stage X) It’s just loose and fun and free! But seeing it all come together is also damn satisfying too, so that’s not to say I don’t like the refining portions either...

Outside of that, I also really like the beginning of the color stage! .... Before having to translate shadows/highlights to each and every frame *shudders*. That gets tedious, but it’s so critical! Anyways, though, I heckin’ love colors. I always have a rough palette in mind at the start of the process, but I go ham and play with it as a little break and a true test when I get to actual slap together a full frame with full color, highlights/shadows included! It’s exciting, like a preview of the finished product, basically :D

Any part u don't like?

Heh, by the time I get to shadows/highlights, I tend to be getting impatient, I suppose. It’s not that I don’t like it - I definitely highly value it, and if it was the only thing I was working on in an animation that’d be different, but as a one-woman team I’m just raring to be done at that point; it’s very nearly the last thing I do, after all, so it’s a struggle to focus. X)

I suppose one that always gets me is more complicated backgrounds. It’s a work in progress, as I’m getting better and finding the fun in them for sure! But I’m still not where I want to be in translating ‘background concept’ to ‘finished background’ - it feels more stiff than my animations, I guess. So it’s a frustrating part... but hey, it’s part of it! And learning to embrace the challenge is a big help.

... I just always have to make sure I have a big cup of coffee and a good jam playlist going when I sit down to do ‘em, in the meantime.(=▿= ||||)

What's a thing people don't see that u put a lotta time into?

Definitely the coloring. This goes for both backgrounds and the animated characters themselves. It’s... never as simple as it looks? It’s time consuming, and while some parts of frames can be copy-pasted, I also put subtle work into the animations that mean that some pixels are off so it ends up being marginally faster to just recolor, but then there’s shadows, and working in pixels means that if I miss one then there’s a flickering pixel mid-animation, and sometimes there’s an unconnected line and then you bucket fill the whole damn thing, and gods know I’ve got colored lines so I have to be exacting with keeping the same ratios highlighted vs darker in shifting frames...

*deep breath*

... Yeah, basically the coloring is super time consuming. And balancing bg coloring with animated elements in the image itself is a whole extra challenge on top of that. For 99% of my animations, I can damn near guarantee I’ve spent at least twice as much time coloring it as I have animating it.

Do u have a fave animation u've done?

*looks at my goblin hoard of animations in horror like I’ve been asked to choose a favorite child*

... Stars above, I can’t choose! I love them all, and at this point a good portion of them are commissions- it wouldn’t feel right to choose!

*...carefully covers the hoard’s metaphorical ears*

... also, that said, I can admit a soft spot for any of them that involve humor. I tend to get to do extremely expressive faces and action there, even if I have to ration the frames, so it turns out really fun X)

And though rough and I’ve definitely done stuff I’m more proud of, I still crack up at this one I did a while back of the nonsense ‘ass’ joke between Red & Stretch... their faces were too much fun XD I’ve gotten waybetter since then though, Big Oof, I see so many things I can fix; might go back and redo it someday.

Honestly, though, I just freakin’ love animating! They all have their ups and downs andI always put a lot of love into them and find a way to have fun with it and try to push any emotion/theme (when applicable). I like to think it shows, but idk, that’s something I have to leave up to you guys X)

[askthiscpblog]

I kinda ship Toby and Imani... can I request them meeting? You don't have to if you want of course!

One, two, three, pause. One, two, three, pause. The sound of her heels clicking against the concrete sounded through the air as she walked to a house at the end of the street. It was rather large, a reflection of the wealth of the person who owned it. She was once again, dressed to make any man or woman faint at the sight of her. A tight dark blue dress clung to her figure, stopping above her knees and a smirk was on her face. For once, it wasn’t hidden under her mask. Despite this being a suburban neighborhood, the woman had many weapons, armed to the teeth- literally. With a razor blade hidden under her tongue, anyone who decided to step to her would regret it. Did she need all the weapons strapped to her body? No. The throwing knife hidden in her cleavage would be enough for her to finish the job. Along with her physical strength. She approached the pristine white door, intending to knock on it. She was hoping to be greeted with the man she was intending to fuck and then kill brutally and without mercy. Instead, she was greeted with a weird feeling tingling in her stomach and her fist stopped two centimeters from the wood. She knew this feeling well, she had to have it on growing up where she did. She reached to her hip, where her purse had settled itself and retrieved her mask. Strapping it to her face, preparing for any situation, she readied herself. Then, she twisted the brass door handle, and to her surprise, it opened as she took one hesitant step into the doorway.

The fucker she is going to see has gotten on Slender’s last nerve over the last month or two. He kept trying to move in on his territory, and repeated warnings were being sent to him about doing such a thing. He didn’t listen when two of his thugs showed up dead. He didn’t listen when his right-hand man’s hand was hanging above his door frame. He didn’t listen when one of this drug houses went up ablaze when the cops showed up. Now, he was going to listen. If he wanted to or not was a different story.  Toby already staked out the house hours before this kill. He had a wife, kids, and both of them had no idea what he did as a side job. They will find out after all the dirty laundry would be aired. It was a dark night, moonlight through the shaded trees as Toby pulled sneaked his way into the large house. The wife and kid were out doing something while he stayed home tending to his failing business. Coming up behind him was easy, and the hatchet to the back of the skull was the most amusing sound Toby heard all night. A simple thwack than a thump of his head hitting the table. Not satisfied with the kill, he mutilated the corpse. One arm going flying one way, a foot another, his head the centerpiece of the display on his desk. The room smelled of the men emptied bowls with a metallic twist to it. 

“Teaches you r-right to fucking mess with u-us.” Toby mumbled, skinning one of guys legs.

Imani didn’t bother to hide the clicking of her heels as she entered the house if there was an intruder, they weren’t the one to fear. Her ears picked up on a noise coming from her targets office, and she turned in that direction, her long legs carrying her there. One, two, three, pause. No more, no less. She saw that the door was ajar and she approached it, grimacing at the smell that came out. With her line of work, it was normal but it coming up before she had expected it to? That was unpleasant.  As she grew closer to the door she took a deep breath and then paused, nudging it open and her eye widened in surprise, delight, and shock at the scene before her.

Toby could hear the heels clicking in the house as someone came in. He stood up with a jerk and moved behind the door, hatchets in his hands. His breathing was shallow until they came to the door, then he held his breath. He didn’t want to fight, he wanted to come in, get the job done, and get out. So avoiding this conflict would be the best.

The woman entered the room, noting the blood and gore splattered about and stepped in all the way. Her heels were instantly bloodied and she grunted in disdain. She walked over to the table, stepping over limbs and puddles of blood and picked up the severed head by its short hair. She clicked her tongue at it, faking a pout behind her mask. 

“Now, now, who cut your head off before I could Robert? I thought we had a date.” She twirled a lock of the decapitated man’s hair around her finger, letting out a dark chuckle and not bothering to turn around. 

“Now, I suppose you’re the one responsible for killing my dear Robert, here? I must say, nice work. Although I was looking forward to riding him and then watching the light fade from his eyes as I slit his throat, I suppose this is almost as satisfying.” She set the head down and hit it with the back of her hand and watched it roll off the desk and hit the floor with a dull thump. She still didn’t turn around as she spoke once more. 

“Who are you?”

Toby lets out the breath that he was holding and gives a long sigh of annoyance. This was not going as planned, and he hated it. It angered him. With a roll of his eyes, he took a few steps out from behind the door, his weapons still down at his sides. His body was tense as he circled round to have his back to the open door to the rest of the house.    

“I might be,” he responded short. He wasn’t much of a talker. "Just a p-person who had a little bit of business with the guy. And what of you? What business did-d you have with him to have the need to black widow him?“

She shrugged, finally turning around to face him. 

"It woulda paid well. Lots of people seemed to have wanted him dead so I might as well have a little fun before I kill him.” She assessed the situation in front of her. She was in a room with the dismembered body of her would-be victim and she wasn’t the one who had dismembered him. The man who dismembered him was standing opposite to her, and there was a severed human hand touching her favorite heel. Not only that but her high was running out and she’s disappointed with the way this day was going. She crossed her arms over her chest, her eye narrowing.  

“Am I going to be allowed to leave without a fight or what? I’m not trying to rip this dress.”

“I don’t see why n-not, but things can never be that e-easy now can they?” he says, moving to stand between the window and the door. It was to make sure he could lunge at her if she made a break for it.   

“The fact you saw me in here and everything plants evidence a-against me. Which is never good.” He put the hatchet down onto one belt loop but kept the other in his hand. The woman in front of him was still much smaller than himself, but he kept his eyes locked on her. He had the backup and a lot of extra things if need be, but he rather not pick the fight unless he has to.

She let out a quiet snort to herself at his last statement. She wanted to get out of here. Being this close to a male that was trapping her was making her antsy. She felt that little grip on her sanity loosens a bit, and as if by magic her high slammed into her again. Her pupil dilated irregularly with the changes in her body and her heart thundered as adrenaline flowed through her. She wasn’t planning on fighting him no matter how fun it seemed. But if he didn’t let her out she would chop him up as she did with her professor, and with his own fucking hatchets. She drummed her nails against the desk behind her rhythmically and she forced a bored look in her eye. Her accent slipped out thicker this time as she spoke, a product of her paranoia. 

“If I tell anyone about this little encounter, it’ll bring more attention to this,” she gestured around them with her hands to illustrate what she was talking about. And the fire in her eyes blazed brighter and brighter with each word she spoke, and her accent grew as strong as her mothers. 

“And that means fewer business offers I get. I think its best for both of us to just keep our mouths shut about this whole thing. You don’t tell anyone you saw me here, and I say I decided not to take dear Robert out after all and we both get out of this shithole and go our separate ways.”

Toby grinned under the mask and crossed his arms, the hatchet resting under it as it is crossed. He leaned back against the wall where he was standing between the door and the window. He listened to her talk, getting thicker and thicker as she spoke. It was actually kind of interesting to listen to something like that happen. She covered her accent well. Then she spoke about business offers. Was she an assassin of sorts?  

Slender might like to know about her, might find her useful. Toby thought, a shrug showing he agreed with himself.  

“Fair enough, b-but I do think that you said business offers. I think I know a person who might be interested in offering you m-more business.”

She raised an eyebrow under her mask before she narrowed her eye at him, trying to figure out what game he was playing. She wasn’t sure, but she did know that it was logically going to be the most interesting thing that happened to her today at least. Plus, more business couldn’t be a bad thing, right? Well, once again, using logic she knew that infinite things could go wrong, but she was too bored and high for that. She decided to cut right to the chase, she had a no-bullshit policy, especially when it came to how and when she was going to make money and feed the insatiable hunger for blood and sex inside of her. Usually, it involved multitasking and mashing all three together. She really didn’t give a fuck who this mystery person was or who they want to be killed. There’s one thing that she needed to know before she would consider working with this person. 

“How well does this person pay?”

Toby shrugged in response to her question, not sure how to answer it. Slender didn’t pay him, because of the fact that he lived for free with the guy. And two other assholes but that was beside the point. He watched her body, trying to read her movements. 

“I mean, he lets me live w-with him for free and other things. Probably pretty fucking well t-to someone who won’t be doing that. Other than t-that you have to take that up with him.” Toby responded, still leaning against the wall.She considered his words, twirling one of her coils around her finger as she thought. She sure as hell wasn’t going to live with this person, she already had a home and if she left it she knew how much backlash she would get from her friends. She noted how the man opposite of her seemed to be assessing her, but she didn’t take any offense to it because she was watching him too. She hadn’t lived this long without learning how to predict what someone was going to do based on their body language. He didn’t seem like he was going to do anything, and so she let herself lean against the desk, there wasn’t too much blood on that particular spot. She eyed him once more and then decided that he was fine to remove her mask around and did so, putting it back in the purse that was slung around her shoulder. She knew that it was psychological, but she felt like she could see better despite her other eye being gone for quite a while and she spoke to him this time without a barrier muffling her voice. 

“How do I find this man?”

Toby watched her lean into the desk, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. The situation was tense, but everything else ever so careful started to defuse as time passed. Which is a good thing? He didn’t like being tense. It made all the disorders flair up which made it hard to keep calm and talk without stuttering too much. It took most of his willpower to do anything like that right now. 

“He is in the woods. If you go through an arch-chway that looks like a door, you can find where he l-lives. If you d-describe me then he will listen. S-shall I let him know that you want to meet up?” he asked. Toby felt as if he was bad at talking to others. He didn’t like it, not one bit. But he saw another potential ally in this woman. At least, one that Slender might like. And getting brownie points with his boss is always a good thing.

Imani looked up at him, the hair that was blocking the scarred side of her face from his view falling out of the way and she started giggling, covering her mouth. She hunched over, starting to giggle more. 

“An archway in the woods!? Fuckin’ wack! Gods, that sounds like a spot where drug deals go down. But yeah, tell him I want to meet. I’m always up for more business partners.” She knew that he could see her whole face now and it made her a little uneasy, but she shook it off and gestured towards the door. “If I go to leave, you promise you won’t slice my head off with those hatchets of yours? I got places to be and people to fuck.”

Toby watched her laugh, anger swelling inside of him. Oh if she only knew the trouble she could be getting into. The things that lurk in the shadows. The supernatural is out there, watching and waiting.   

“Yes, it does but it is t-true. I’ll let him k-know.” He moves aside, away from the door but still facing her.  He continued, “If you don’t talk about this until you come visit-t, then we have no issues.” Toby even put his other hatchet on his belt loop to prove his point. He didn’t want to meet up with her again, but this was a deal. And deals always ended in Slender’s favor.

[gamegrumpiess]

Sleepwalk

I was listening to Sleepwalk by Renee Olstead, and I had this idea.

Grump: Danny (from now on, most will be Danny. Unless you request someone else, which I will be happy to do!)

Btw! I'm this plot, Renee didn't write the lyrics. You did! She isn't even a singer in this universe. Just a heads up.

-

Y/n's POV

I can't sleep tonight. It's been a month since me and Danny broke up, but I can't help but still mourn our relationship. It was mutual, at least that's what he thinks. I would've never called it off. I was so in love with him. I still am. We told the fans, and they were pretty supportive in what we did. A lot of them were really sad, as was I. Danny is a singer just like me. I do silly songs just like him. But he encouraged me to do a cover album or a cover song. I did one album, Cover Me Up was the name. It got a lot of love, which I am very proud of.

I turn on my phone to check the time. 4:23 am. The bold numbers shine at me in front of Danny's face. I couldn't bring it to myself to change my screensaver. It's not like anyone's gonna see. I miss him a lot, every night gets harder than the last. He was my world. I've known him since senior year of high school, he was a huge part of my life. And now... That's no more. He's probably living his best life. Being Danny Sexbang and all. He probably has girls flying at his feet, throwing him their panties and offering 'the night of his life'. I understand I might be over thinking, but I can't help it. He was mine, and now he's out there doing who knows what. I let a few stray tears fall down ontou pillow. It's so lonely here at night now. I love what I do, singing, dancing, having fun. It was just so much more amazing when I had someone to share it with.

I lay my head back a stare at the ceiling. I need to distract myself, so I reach for my headphones and plug them in, looking for my Oldies playlist. I click on it and the song that comes on is Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny. Listening to the slow beat and light guitar, I cry even more. Just my luck, huh? I can't just lay here, I really should get up and something. Writing usually helps me calm down. That's when I get an idea for a song, it's a bit sad and people will know exactly who its about. But maybe that's what needs to happen. My feelings should be out there. And if something goes wrong, I'll accept the outcomes.

I pull up my pen and notebook and just start writing.

"Sleepwalk, instead of dreamin' I

Sleepwalk.

Cause' I lost you and now, what am I to do?

Can't believe that we're through.

Sleep talk. Cause' I miss you, I sleep talk.

While the memories of you wither like a soul.

Darling I was so low.

The night fills me with blame. I see your face, tears through my brain.

I know I miss you so. I still love you, drives me insane.

Sleepwalk. Every night I just sleepwalk. Please come back, and when you walk inside the door, I will sleepwalk no more."

I immediately went to my computer set up and staring out my own little version of Sleepwalk. More of like a piano and violin cover, rather than guitar and drum. Once I had it to where I wanted the beat and rhythm, I pulled up my microphone and started singing away.

Danny's POV

This morning was the worst. I couldn't sleep at all, I've been up since 3:30 am. I guess I haven't really gotten used to sleeping by myself. Without y/n's body near mine, it's hard to even get tired. I do miss her. A lot actually. I know it was my idea to call off the relationship, but I was scared of what would happen if I didn't have enough time for her. I have game grumps, starbomb, and ninja sex party. She deserves someone who has all the time in the world to give her all the attention she deserves. When we told the fans, I didn't expect them to be so sad. I even lost a handful of fans because of it. She agreed, but I knew her better. She was on the verge of tears when she left. She was trying to be strong so I wouldn't see that side of her, but I know better than that. When she left I broke down. Gripped and clawed at my hair, cried on the edge of the bed, wondering if I had made the right choice. I big-huge part of me was telling myself I didn't.

My phone buzzes, and I see its a text from Arin.

When you get here I need to show you something.

Oh what fresh hell does he have to subject my eyes to. Last time he said that, I had to watch 12 Days Of Elves... Don't ask.

I finally arrived at the Grump Space. I see everyone in their usual area. Ryan and Matt at the computers, Ross and Barry in the kitchen making coffee, and the only other people here this early is Arin and me. Everyone else usually is a little late. "Thank god you're finally here. You haven't felt your phone buzzing?" I give him a confused look. "Other than you texting me, no. You know I have notifications turned off for my social media. What's going on?" He turns on the computer in front of us. "You should hear this before anything. I promise you, it's important." I roll my eyes. "This better not be some stupid shit, Arin!" I say with a light laugh. He shook his head, and I knew from the look in his eyes that this was in fact important.

Once the computer was fully on, he went to YouTube. Looking up y/n's name, I felt my stomach turn. Did she have a new boyfriend? Was she sick? Did she die?! I understand that last one is a bit of a long shot, but I tend to over think a lot.

A video was uploaded at 7:00 am this morning? "' sleepwalk? ' isn't that an old song?" I say confused. But I'm not all that surprised. She always did love the oldies. He nods his head. "She added her own lyrics and tune to it. And I think you should hear it." I nodded and put on some earphones, pushing play on the video. Her voices comes on, and it feels so amazing to hear her voice again. Even if it is just an intro in a YouTube video.

"Hello everyone. I had this idea for a song at like 3 in the morning. I couldn't sleep, so I made this. I hope you like it..."

The video fades to black and then it shows her at her little office space she has in her room. The music starts up, and at this point I notice her eyes. They're a little red and slightly puffy. She did a good job covering it up, but I've known her since senior year. She can't hide that from me.

She sings softly yet with so much passion and emotion. The lyrics sink in, and I know why Arin wanted to hear this. Its about me. I scroll down to look at the description and comments, and they all say things along the lines of 'I fucken sad now.' 'Wow, Danny really did a number on her' 'DANNY YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS SHIT!' 'This makes me so sad because she literally couldn't sleep thinking about him... Danny get your girl back!' 'Damn that made me tear up... '

After the video ended, I look at my phone. Y/n's face still smiles at me from behind the screen. I didn't want to change it, I couldn't do it. I felt several tears hit my leg, I didn't even realize i was crying. "Hey Dan, are you okay?" Arin puts his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "No... I'm not at all." I open up Twitter and see thousands of notifications to nsp and game grumps. All of which telling me to see what I just saw. I stood up slowly, feeling a little disappointed in myself. How could I let her walk out of my life so easily...?

Y/n's POV

After I posted the video, I decided I should really try to get some sleep. Especially since thousands of people will blow up my phone later on. Once in bed again, I tried to think of all the possibilities and outcomes of this. It could either go really well, or go really horribly bad. I guess we'll just have to see.

I wake up several hours later to my phone ringing. The sky is still a little bright to I assume it's not that late. 'Suzy <3' shines up at me. I smile, me and her always stayed quite close. "Hello?" I try to run the sleep out of my eyes. "Hey, are feeling okay? I heard your song, and I know it's about Dan. How are you, hun?"

It means a lot that she's not just calling about GET HIM BACK! She just wants to know if I'm okay. "Honestly? I feel so empty. Luckily today is just a lazy day so I don't have to adult today. But still.... I feel lost." I hear her sigh, "I know, y/n. It sucks. But you have me! And I'm way better than Danny!" She says jokingly. "Damn right you are! I'll call you a bit later when I'm more awake, okay?" We say our goodbyes and I sit up more in bed. I take a quick look at my notification bar and just as I expected, its blowin up. 'When will I stop being a pussy?' My thoughts we're interrupted by several rings of my doorbell.

Without looking through the peephole I open the door, only to see a certain curly haired man standing on my doorstep. "Danny? What are you doing here?" His eyes are glazed over and puffy as if he had just finished crying. He looked down. "I.... I heard your song. Was it... Was it about me? I'm sorry, I just need to know. I couldn't focus at all today during work. And on my way home, I just couldn't take it anymore. I have to know." My anxiety goes up a long shot. My eyes looking at everyone but him. "Y/n... I need to know." I slowly nod my head, still avoiding his eyes. "May I come in? I think we should talk.." I scoot to the side to let him in. "I'm sorry if I caused a lot of drama. I just thought... It would be better if I just made it into a song rather than.. Just telling you." I confessed. He grabbed my shoulders. "Don't be sorry, y/n. When we broke up, and you left. I broke down. I couldn't handle the fact that I just let you go.. I'm sorry."

"Then why did you do it? Why wait so fucking long to come to my house?! Why hurt me this bad, leaving me all alone when all I wanted was you! I hated knowing that YOU let me just walk out. And you looked like you... Like you didn't even give a shit..." I couldn't help it. I let all my emotions explode on him. "Why do you think I did?! Y/n, you deserve someone who has the time for you, who will give you all the attention in the world. Someone who will GIVE you the world! I want nothing more than to have you back again, but you don't deserve someone like me! I love with all my soul, hell, I'd give up everything for your dumbass! I didn't say anything till now because I thought you'd be mad, and I thought you'd moved on, hated me even!" He was standing pretty close to me by now. "Well no shit I'd be mad! You think I don't deserve you? Bullshit! You've already given me the world and more! Don't think that I don't understand about your job because I do the same fucking thing!!! I know it's hard, but I was willing to work even harder because I love you more than life itself! I deserve you just like you deserve me!" He rolled his eyes. "You're fucking gorgeous! You can have any man you want! What the hell is so special about me?" I got in his face once again, "because you are so much better than any other man I've met! We've known each other for YEARS and you think I'd just give all that up?! What kinda drugs are you on, Dan? Do you think I'm that fucken dumb? I haven't slept in weeks because it feels so horrible not having you next to me. That's some bullshit to say that I can have any man I want. I want YOU, dipshit!" I couldn't help it, I fell to my knees, shaking from trying to hold back tears. How he say that I didn't deserve him? He was my world, he still is my world. Nothing will change that.

He walks to me, and sits on the floor with me. I feel his arms wrap around me, and I lean into his chest. "I'm sorry.. I loved you more than anything. I still do. Can you please give me another chance..? Now, I won't ever think you don't deserve me. I won't think anything like that. You mean the world to me, y/n. Please don't forget that." I look up at him, seeing his eyes filled with new tears. "Well duh, how can i say no to this face?" I grab his cheeks and smush them together and laugh. "I love you too, Danny." He smiled and leaned in and gave me a much needed kiss.

[symbianosgames]

[In his latest design feature, Activision and former Insomniac designer Mike Stout breaks down the boss battle into eight different beats, and runs two notable ones -- The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time's Ganon and Portal's GladOS -- through a thorough analysis to illuminate their designs.]

The boss battle is one of the oldest and most beloved traditions in video games. Everyone has fond memories of their favorites, and opinion pieces proclaiming the "Top 10 Boss Fights of All Time" are always hotly contested and the source of a lot of debate.

According to Wikipedia, the first boss battle ever featured in a game was the Gold Dragon in the 1975 RPG dnd, and the practice has been going strong ever since.

Coming up as a designer in this industry, some of my most difficult (but also most interesting) challenges have been boss battle designs.

Each time I was assigned one I felt a mixture of excitement and dread. Sure, they're cool, but where do you start?

Bowser from the original Super Mario Brothers was the first boss battle I ever played.

Hard-Learned Lessons

I remember the first boss battle I ever designed. It was the "Terror of Talos" fight for Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando. Still a junior designer, I agonized over that design for weeks. I poked and prodded, I added features, and by the time I was done with it I was sure I had designed the coolest boss battle ever!

It was a six-armed Godzilla-esque monster with a robot standing on its head (the robot was controlling the monster with levers, you see). It stormed around a giant movie-set version of a large metropolis, destroying everything it came across. It could fly and walk and breathe fire and shoot missiles and... well pretty much everything. I was so proud of it I could just burst.

And it was bad. Not just bad, in fact. Oh, man, was it ever awful!

Oh sure, the final product turned out very well -- thanks primarily to my talented and very patient colleagues (thanks for putting up with me, Andrew) -- but that first rough-draft design was an absolute disaster. The idea was cool, sure, but I had neglected to really think through the gameplay behind it.

Behold, the Terror of Talos! While the final product turned out well enough, the early designs (in addition to being impossible to implement) needed a ton of revision before the fight was any fun.

Since then, I've designed a ton of boss battles, and with each one I've learned new tips and tricks that have made each successive design go much more smoothly.

In this article, I aim to pass on those tricks and tips. In this article I will break some boss battles down into their component parts (as I see them) and then show you how I use that knowledge when designing boss battles of my own.

Note: I am specifically talking about bosses from action/adventure games here. While the tips I outline here will, I suspect, work for bosses in any genre, I've never personally tried to apply them that way.

Intro to Boss Battles

One of the first questions I like to ask myself when beginning a design is this: "What are my goals?" Essentially, I try to make it clear to myself what my design needs to accomplish so that every decision I make can hearken back to my goals. For boss battles, my goals are typically something like this:

The boss should feel like a reward.

A boss battle is a reward from the game designer to the player. For a short time, the player gets to take a break and do something new!

Boss battles tend to be intense and feel "larger than life." Players look forward to boss battles, and getting to them feels good.

The boss should feel like a goal (or milestone) for the player.

Like chapter breaks in a book, players reach a goal (minor or major) when they reach a boss battle. The anticipation leading up to a boss battle and the feeling of having attained a goal when the boss is defeated provide tangible story and emotional milestones for a player.

By fighting the boss, the player can demonstrate his mastery of my game.

A boss battle is a good place for the player to demonstrate the skills he has learned so far by playing the game. In that sense a boss battle is both a test of the player's abilities and a chance for the player to feel like he has mastered the skills you've taught him so far.

A boss fight can help build and release tension in a satisfying way.

Like a good book or movie, it is important for a boss battle to have good "pacing," which is to say it's important for the game designer to build up and release tension and difficulty (or, in other words, intensity) over time.

Good boss battles not only contain good pacing within the fights themselves, but also help to pace the entire game.

The knowledge that a boss battle is approaching is a great excuse to build up intensity over the course of a series of levels. The closer the player comes to the boss fight, the more his anticipation of the fight grows. A clever level designer can use this to their advantage (as seen in the chart below).

Boss battles are a great way to release the intensity you've built up over the course of the preceding levels. After finishing a boss, the player can expect to coast for a little while and feel good about his accomplishments.

A vastly simplified illustration of Super Mario Bros. 3's pacing. Within each world, intensity increases until the player defeats a boss, at which point the intensity dies down a bit (though not entirely).

[symbianosgames]

[In his latest design feature, Activision and former Insomniac designer Mike Stout breaks down the boss battle into eight different beats, and runs two notable ones -- The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time's Ganon and Portal's GladOS -- through a thorough analysis to illuminate their designs.]

The boss battle is one of the oldest and most beloved traditions in video games. Everyone has fond memories of their favorites, and opinion pieces proclaiming the "Top 10 Boss Fights of All Time" are always hotly contested and the source of a lot of debate.

According to Wikipedia, the first boss battle ever featured in a game was the Gold Dragon in the 1975 RPG dnd, and the practice has been going strong ever since.

Coming up as a designer in this industry, some of my most difficult (but also most interesting) challenges have been boss battle designs.

Each time I was assigned one I felt a mixture of excitement and dread. Sure, they're cool, but where do you start?

Bowser from the original Super Mario Brothers was the first boss battle I ever played.

Hard-Learned Lessons

I remember the first boss battle I ever designed. It was the "Terror of Talos" fight for Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando. Still a junior designer, I agonized over that design for weeks. I poked and prodded, I added features, and by the time I was done with it I was sure I had designed the coolest boss battle ever!

It was a six-armed Godzilla-esque monster with a robot standing on its head (the robot was controlling the monster with levers, you see). It stormed around a giant movie-set version of a large metropolis, destroying everything it came across. It could fly and walk and breathe fire and shoot missiles and... well pretty much everything. I was so proud of it I could just burst.

And it was bad. Not just bad, in fact. Oh, man, was it ever awful!

Oh sure, the final product turned out very well -- thanks primarily to my talented and very patient colleagues (thanks for putting up with me, Andrew) -- but that first rough-draft design was an absolute disaster. The idea was cool, sure, but I had neglected to really think through the gameplay behind it.

Behold, the Terror of Talos! While the final product turned out well enough, the early designs (in addition to being impossible to implement) needed a ton of revision before the fight was any fun.

Since then, I've designed a ton of boss battles, and with each one I've learned new tips and tricks that have made each successive design go much more smoothly.

In this article, I aim to pass on those tricks and tips. In this article I will break some boss battles down into their component parts (as I see them) and then show you how I use that knowledge when designing boss battles of my own.

Note: I am specifically talking about bosses from action/adventure games here. While the tips I outline here will, I suspect, work for bosses in any genre, I've never personally tried to apply them that way.

Intro to Boss Battles

One of the first questions I like to ask myself when beginning a design is this: "What are my goals?" Essentially, I try to make it clear to myself what my design needs to accomplish so that every decision I make can hearken back to my goals. For boss battles, my goals are typically something like this:

The boss should feel like a reward.

A boss battle is a reward from the game designer to the player. For a short time, the player gets to take a break and do something new!

Boss battles tend to be intense and feel "larger than life." Players look forward to boss battles, and getting to them feels good.

The boss should feel like a goal (or milestone) for the player.

Like chapter breaks in a book, players reach a goal (minor or major) when they reach a boss battle. The anticipation leading up to a boss battle and the feeling of having attained a goal when the boss is defeated provide tangible story and emotional milestones for a player.

By fighting the boss, the player can demonstrate his mastery of my game.

A boss battle is a good place for the player to demonstrate the skills he has learned so far by playing the game. In that sense a boss battle is both a test of the player's abilities and a chance for the player to feel like he has mastered the skills you've taught him so far.

A boss fight can help build and release tension in a satisfying way.

Like a good book or movie, it is important for a boss battle to have good "pacing," which is to say it's important for the game designer to build up and release tension and difficulty (or, in other words, intensity) over time.

Good boss battles not only contain good pacing within the fights themselves, but also help to pace the entire game.

The knowledge that a boss battle is approaching is a great excuse to build up intensity over the course of a series of levels. The closer the player comes to the boss fight, the more his anticipation of the fight grows. A clever level designer can use this to their advantage (as seen in the chart below).

Boss battles are a great way to release the intensity you've built up over the course of the preceding levels. After finishing a boss, the player can expect to coast for a little while and feel good about his accomplishments.

A vastly simplified illustration of Super Mario Bros. 3's pacing. Within each world, intensity increases until the player defeats a boss, at which point the intensity dies down a bit (though not entirely).