I could not help but record this incredible post of @elodieunderglass's.
This is but a taste due to Tumblr's upload limits, but you can find the rest here:
the first chapter of Moby Dick rewritten in tiresome modern idiom
350 notes
·
View notes
Pairing: Wukong & afab!monkey!Reader
Rating: SFW
Summary: Trying to sneak out of having a bath is impossible when your grandpa can sniff out your funk.
Warnings/Tags: Fluff, wholesome stuff, gremlin behavior, grooming/preening.
Word Count: 800+ words
On the flower fruit mountain, there were a plethora of monkeys across the mountain/island. A particular monkey, who looked no bigger than the usual monkey that hung around the mountain, crawled on the forest floor with their tail swishing in the air. Their eyes shifted left to right, their hands feeling carefully around the moist dirt and used their tiny feet to propel themselves forward.
The mud, pebbles, and leaves began caking their furry body as they continued army crawling to reach the break in the treeline. Just a few more seconds and you would be in the clear and ready to sneak off to the beach, all a part of your plan to spend the rest of your day making the largest sand castle there ever was. Too bad you couldn't rope MK into helping you, but he was the last thing on your mind at the moment.
Right, you needed to focus on escaping your-
"And where do you think you're going, young lady?"
Aw shucks.
You attempted to flee but a tail snaked around your ankle and yanked you up into the air. You hung upside down, scratching and clawing at the air as you slowly rotated in the older monkey's clutch.
"Pa, lemme-lemme down!" You shrieked.
"Not until you explain why you were sneaking' around and avoiding your much needed bath," Wukong, who happens to be your very annoying grandpa, pulled a face as he leaned forward to sniff you and gagged.
"I took one yesterday!"
"Your yesterday could be another person's week," Wukong raised an unimpressed brow as you began to chew on his tail to break free. "Let's go, kiddo, you're taking a bath one way or another."
"Ughhh, noooo!" You wailed as your grandpa summoned his cloud. Just as he was about to lower you on to it, you batted the dirt you managed to grab earlier and aimed for his eyes.
"Wha-? HEY!" Wukong spat and sputtered the dirt that managed to enter his mouth. His hands failed to snatch your rolling form from escaping. "Get back here!"
"Oh, you're gonna be in so much trouble when I find you!" Was the last thing you heard as you scampered off.
Despite your smaller body, your inherited strength and energy made it easier to put a lot of distance between yourself and your grandpa. You laughed triumphantly as you leapt from a tree and reached for a vine to swing to another branch.
You flung yourself in the air before landing on a high branch, sticks and other pieces of the forest tangled in your wild mane as you glanced over your shoulder to carefully examine any sign that the older simian was on your tail. You snorted smugly as you raised your tail high before reaching for the branch above your head only to grab something leather-y. You looked up and found your grinning grandfather knelt on the very branch you were going to grab.
"Boo."
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
It's safe to say that you ended up back in the cave with your grandpa dunking your stinky self into the nearest bed of water while he gathered the rest of the stuff he'll need to tame your messy appearance. As his fingers worked through the knots and twists in your hair, you hissed and attempted to move your head away from his hands only to be guided back by his tail.
"Sit still," Wukong sternly demanded as he moved your hands away from reaching up to your head. You only pouted in response, but overtime the gentle combing and scratches made your head droop to the side as you nearly dozed off a couple of times. Yet, you would always fight it off and remain glowering at the reflection of your grandpa in the soapy water.
"Don't look so gloomy, peaches," Your grandpa snickered as you blew a bubble away from your face. Wukong plucked a stick from your hair and flicked it away, "Look, we're almost done and I'll give you something sweet after, 'kay?"
You grumbled something before lifting your arms so your grandfather could take you out. You dropped your head on his shoulder as you were wrapped in a towel and placed in Wukong's lap. Wukong noticed your stillness as he rubbed the towel against your mane, squeezing gently and massaging the rest of the water off your body.
Hearing the soft snores coming from you brought a smile to his face. The monkey king gently cradled you against his chest, wishing you the best of dreams you could ever have.
🍜 - I do not give permission for anyone to translate, copy, republish, or plagiarize any of my written works. I provide no permission for any of my literary works to be used in artificial intelligence. sparkle banner(s) by @adornedwithlight !!
67 notes
·
View notes
Things I’ve done at school
Wrote a horror piece for a creative writing test and had to be pulled out by the school counsellor for a mental health check
Ran after kids making assorted animal noises when they pulled the legs off lizards.
During a test I cut up the working out paper to make a short book about poop. This happened often.
I had a hyperfixation on pigs so every time we got a creative writing assignment I wrote about pigs. The teacher banned me from writing about pigs so I wrote about boars instead.
Accidentally threw a metal baseball bat at my teacher and hit her in the shin
Sticky taped a piece of cheese to a tree to try catch a rat
Brought bugs the classrooms (numerous times for numerous reasons some purposeful others by accident )
Made rude finger out of blocks in year three. Teacher was not impressed.
Collected rubbish for my collection and kept it in the classroom (in my own space)
Stabbed myself with a led pencil
Taught conservative Christian kids how to swear
The skibidi toilet/brony/lin Manuel Miranda/roblox/peter griffin death pose/bakudeku Romeo and Juliet mpreg English projects.
32 notes
·
View notes