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#Got 5 hours of sleep
utterlyyinfatuated · 1 year
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Can we get a selfie please n thanks
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deoidesign · 12 days
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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getosugurusbangs · 10 months
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hngggghhhh
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post 1
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taitavva · 3 months
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NEVER GO HOME, DON'T SLEEP, DON'T EAT JUST DO IT ON REPEAT, KEEP?
[365 - Charli XCX / alt vers under cut]
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sketchz · 10 months
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guess who speedran the game in 2 days and completely wrecked their sleep schedule
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reds-skull · 11 months
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(beginning inspired by the waking universe by eggtimelads)
First comic for the Revenant AU! (thank badolmen for the name haha). Was encouraged by the amount of people liking it.
I really wanted to show how reapers look, like eldritch beings, and what they ask before giving the revenants their powers. I got so much to say about this AU, but so little time haha.
Also, the animations are back! I was going to the sketchy style I see in some of the player cards in mw2, they're my favorite.
(I'm so scared for mw3 haha 🤡)
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ziggysgender · 1 year
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study. ✏️
process shit for funsies ⬇️
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buttercupshands · 3 hours
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I started drawing this next day after I finished Act 6
13 or so days and it's finished!
Main things are traditional and Loop's body was edited digitally after
Unedited it looks like this
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I've been torn on how to do Loop's body for the entirety of lining, also
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A bit sad the main lines are visible only as a wip, most of this thing is literally just a ton of sharp lines
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I think it's also my first day of drawing, Loop os just a sketch here (feat. my leg)
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I even finished the beans before it so they were a moral support, because if you let me things like this take a year
#fanart#my art#isat#isat fanart#in stars and time#isat loop#loop#traditional art#artists on tumblr#Phew#So anyway this was my way of figuring out my thoughts after finishing the game#And I didn't even actually finish it with credits playing at that moment#And this type of art is my therapy#And in a way literally how my personality works from big figures to small details of thinking about anything#It's really calming!#I won't tag paper figures but they're here#Like special guests#In any case the funniest thing was showing this to my English teacher and she was like 'wow this looks stressed' or something#Like she immediately looked at the lines and after I showed her my old Flowey drawing like this she was like#'oh it makes sense! This one looks calm but this one is clearly you not feeling good'#Because I was kinda#Like sitting there in the semi-park and feeling sick since morning before I started drawing this and slowly I got better#I already talked about this on my first 'big' isat thing - I needed to think a bit#And not think at the same time just literally letting myself sort stuff out#Like. I fell asleep at 6 am that day and woke up at 10 4 hours of sleep after playing full Act 5 and two hats stuff IS STRESSFUL#SUPER STRESSFUL! Like I felt like I was playing for 4 hours while sleeping#Anyway by the time I finished it aka today I'm feeling way better and I'm literally talking a walk right now#Touching grass as we speak#Anyway phew!#Now to that animatic that's plaguing my mind
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mokadevs · 7 months
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day 16: hourglass
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shepscapades · 2 months
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Um. Ok. Still reeling from the fact that bbno$ is canon in your universe and produces music. What
(Also I loooove your dbhc au!!!!)
bbno$ is also a hermitcraft watcher I would know we’re super tight
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king-crawler · 7 months
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Someone’s being dramatic …
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Your giant hand is so goofy
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bitchfitch · 4 days
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So context: I have Ridiculously severe misophonia. If I could painlessly deafen myself I would, "all noise is evil" levels of noise sensitivity. It's too the point I can't tolerate being around other people because the sound of breathing swallowing lip smacking etc drive me up the wall and turn me into the joker in .1 seconds.
and it's not like, it's not a "I don't like this" type of misophonia, it's a "these sounds are physically extremely painful as is any volume above the absolute lowest amount possible (I have returned multiple pairs of earbuds for having their minimum setting still be painfully loud)
Ok, that's just my life. those are the cards I've been dealt and I've been making it work.
My shrink recommended concert earbuds. They're like normal wireless earbuds but instead of being electric, they have a small tube and a hole in them that effectively changes the shape of your ear canel when you're wearing them. So they filter noise without reducing volume or quality too badly.
It is fucking Night and day. Volume is still a problem but all the little sounds that were driving me insane and making me be constantly overstimulated are just gone. I can talk to people without immediately wanting to end the conversation. and be in the same room as my fishtank without the filter sounds chasing me off.
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l3irdl3rain · 10 months
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we kind of look like each other. both exhausted autism creatures.
she let me hold her for a couple minutes and then she started to wiggle a little bit so i loosened my grip. she very calmly wiggled out of my arms and walked away. didn’t run and hide or even hiss.
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jtl-fics · 1 year
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Fluent Freshman - Part 12
PREVIOUS
If there was one thing no one would ever guess about FF it is that he unapologetically LOVES Black Friday.
You may be thinking. Ugh Black Friday. Everyone is so rude and tired. The deals aren’t even that good. It can turn into a blood sport at the drop of a hat over a toaster that is 15% off.
You are correct.
That is why FF loves it.
It is the one shopping day of the year where every single one of his instincts are correct, valid, and useful. He has pulled his gran out of the way of elbow drops, he has avoided the gaze of a woman in PINK sweat pants who was looking for someone to steal a blender from, and he knows without a doubt that the cashier hates him already so there’s no need to worry about whether or not they hate him.
It’s like a breath of fresh air!
Everyone is just as antagonistic and awful as he thinks they are!
Shopping is actually the blood sport he always feels like it is!
So there he is standing in a line at the nearest store (Target) waiting to be let in with the masses who all look ready to stab one another for better positioning for a TV. The jokes on them though because his only goal is the grocery section and he deals with the threat of repeated stabbings for BREAKFAST.
He spots an IHOP in the distance and hopes his gran doesn’t feel too lonely. They’ve gotten buttermilk stacks together at the IHOP by the mall for years after the two of them finished Christmas Shopping.
Someone elbows him in the side to get his spot in line but FF does not really care. Again, he doubts any of these people are going to be racing him to the all purpose flour.
It’s 4 AM and the barricades come down.
There’s a rush of people pushing and shoving but FF just steps to the side and watches as they all rush in. He’d mostly stayed in the line because the throng of people made it easier to stay warm. He had left his jacket back at the house because the five hour energy might be making his skin feel super sensitive but he is pretty sure that if he wore his nylon jacket he would die.
The five hour energy also may be upping his anxiety just a little bit.
He walks into the store at a leisurely pace and while the crowd fights over the carts he grabs one of the baskets. He can feel the eyes of other shoppers all wondering if he has some insider knowledge on a good deal that would only require the basket or if it’s a matter of who gets to the back to receive the ‘redeem’ coupon.
He sees a few shoppers get lured in by his siren call and much like a siren following anything that FF is about to do will undoubtedly lead to their downfall.
But FF doesn’t care about that.
He cares about HIS downfall.
So he makes his way to the grocery section and ignores the six different shopping assistants who try and guide him to where he ‘should’ be shopping and each of them only give him increasingly confused looks when he states his intention to go to the grocery section every single time.
Is it easier to ignore their stares when the five hour energy have set his baseline heart rate to something that might be too fast to register as a heartbeat? Maybe.
It is easier to ignore the confusion on their faces when he can see both the past (he asked for TWO favors from Andrew in one day how is he still alive???) and the future (still malleable at the moment apparently. There’s even a future where Andrew actually just is trying to make overtures of friendship but he dismisses that one as INCREDIBLY unlikely and looks at the far more viable one where Andrew at least makes his death quick while he enjoys his great gran’s brownies.)
It’s good to set reasonable goals for yourself.
So he arrives at the grocery section which is deserted aside from one employee who may or may not be asleep against a shelf. FF looks and….not a shelf he needs so he is not about to wake that poor man up.
So he gets everything he needs for his great gran’s brownies (he’s trying to buy his life here so he is not about to assume he can use ANYTHING in the house), the ingredients for a good breakfast (because he really needs to eat something that is not a five hour energy or sugar for the sake of his poor stomach and he may as well get enough for everyone), and (since Captain Neil mentioned it & he is trying to buy his life here) the ingredients to bake another pie.
While he grabs cinnamon he checks to see if they have grandma’s love in stock but, alas, it continues to be unavailable commercially.
He stares at the whipped cream for so long that the employee asleep in the other aisle woke up and asked if he needed help and, startled, he dropped it in his basket. “No I’m good.” He says before power walking out of the grocery department and deciding to brave the Home Goods section to buy some incense so that he can hopefully channel the spirit of his great gran to assist him in this, the darkest of his baking hours.
He arrives at the check out stations and finds the shortest line .
He can feel eyes on him, inspecting his purchases, judging them, judging him, who the fuck goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush?
FF.
FF goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush.
The cashier looks for hidden cameras but FF has no such thing accompanying him today or ever (as far as he knows.)
After a moment the cashier must look at the ever growing line and decide that whatever scheme they think FF is up to isn’t worth trying to figure out. They offer a membership card, FF valiantly declines to get one despite the two attempts.
He is out the door with four bags of groceries that all have a target on them that feels a little too correct. It’s 6 AM now (he really did lose a lot of time at the whipped cream section) and he’s walking back to the house in Columbia.
He actually feels a little bit better since he at least got to experience his actual favorite blood sport (sorry Exy) and he even got another 2 five hour energies while he was in the check out line so he could replace some of the ones that he had gone through.
“Smith?”
He would like to thank the combined weight of the groceries for keeping his feet on the ground when he heard Captain Neil’s voice.
He turns and Captain Neil is looking at him wide-eyed in his running gear that Smith has seen him in. “You were shopping??” He asks.
FF nods and lifts up the four bags as evidence. “Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” He asks.
FF almost scoffs but he doesn’t, “You can’t be distracted when you’re in a Target on Black Friday. That’s how you take an elbow to the eye.” He responds because it’s like Captain Neil has never experienced the WWE-like environment of Black Friday shopping.
Captain Neil blinks at him.
“Text Andrew or me next time you’re going to go off into the night or just let us know beforehand. Andrew would have driven you.” Captain Neil says and grabs two of the bags out of FF’s hand. “C’mon let’s get back and maybe you can get some sleep.” Captain Neil sighs.
“I’m fine.” FF adjusts the bags so he has one in each hand.
Captain Neil does not say anything so FF assumes that he has accepted that.
***
FF had not been asleep on the couch when Neil had walked through the living room. Neil, in a move that had Andrew fully waking up, went back to the room to check his phone to see if FF had texted him an update on going out. All that greets Neil is the impersonal series of texts that mostly confirmed when practice times had been changed, when the bus was leaving, and spelling on various Spanish words.
FF isn’t a big text person.
He’s more of an in-person kind of friend.
Neil likes that about him most of the time.
“What.” Andrew asks face still half buried in Neil’s pillow.
“Smith isn’t on the couch.”
That has Andrew getting up despite the early hour and their activities the night before. Neil watches as Andrew grabs his own phone to scroll through but seems to come up with the same lack of communication that Neil does.
Andrew does do the extra step and hit the call button.
But all he gets is the confirmation that the VM has not been configured that has greeted them every time FF misses their calls. (Voicemails make FF anxious so when he got his new phone he just…never configured it.)
Neil knew that FF was not pleased with them and somehow the calm request to either stop fooling around or let him out had hit him and Andrew harder than any of the screaming demands that the two of them were usually met with from Nicky, Kevin, Aaron, or any of the other Foxes.
“You said he wasn’t mad.” Neil says.
“He nodded.” Andrew confirms.
“Maybe he went on a walk?” Neil tries as they come out to the living room. They look at the front door and find that it’s locked but it looks like Aaron’s keys are gone. “He probably is going to come back if he took Aaron’s keys since Aaron wouldn’t be the one he’d be irritated with.” Neil rationalizes.
“He didn’t bring his jacket.” Andrew says looking at the black jacket still on the hook by the door.
“We can go and see if we spot him.” Neil offers.
Andrew nods and Neil heads out first since Andrew is still in his sleeping clothes and will need some time.
Neil had not expected to find FF walking back to the house with groceries for breakfast and the pie that Neil had mentioned hoping they could bake at the house.
“Is this for the pie?” He asks looking down at what was in the bags he was carrying as the walked back to the house. Neil managed to shoot off a quick text letting Andrew know that it was fine, FF just went grocery shopping.
FF just nods, “Got everything but Grandma’s love.” He says.
FF is a nice guy to brave the stores on a morning like this but FF also looks like he hasn’t slept a wink.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” Neil asks.
“I’m fine.” FF repeats.
Neil really is starting to understand his friends’ hatred for the phrase.
They get back to the house and Andrew is sat out in the living room. FF stops and blinks at the sight of him sitting there.
It is a well-known fact that Andrew does not willingly wake up early most days unless he has to. Neil is glad that Andrew has a friend that he’s coming to care about the way Andrew cares about FF.
Andrew gets up and yanks the bags out of FF’s hands. “Go to sleep. Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.” He says with a scowl and walks to the kitchen to put away the groceries FF had bought.
FF just looks at where Andrew had gone uncomprehendingly for a few moments and Neil figures he’s just tired. Neil feels guilty that him and Andrew messing around in the car like that had rendered FF unable to sleep and the two of them had agreed last night that from now on when FF is in the car they can talk all they want but hands stay on the wheel and eyes stay on the road.
FF is plopped down on the couch when Andrew and Neil come out of the kitchen after putting away the groceries (“These are the ingredients for brownies.” Andrew had noted as he put away melting chocolate.) and he’s looking through his flashcards again and not sleeping. He hears Andrew make a disgusted noise next to him and the next thing he knows Andrew is smacking the cards out of FF’s hands.
“Go. To. Sleep.” Andrew enunciates.
FF stares at him, then down at the flashcards. “I don’t think I can.” He says which is better than him lying and saying he wasn’t tired even if the truth had Andrew’s mouth stretch into a thin line that meant he was beating himself up for something.
“Try.” Andrew orders. “Just lay down and close your eyes. Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” He says.
FF blinks but nods turning on the couch and laying down. The blanket is still over on the lazy boy that Neil had set it on the night before and Andrew rolls his eyes before grabbing it and tossing it over FF.
“Thanks.” FF says before closing his eyes.
Neil looks to Andrew who nods and Neil accepts that there’s nothing else to be done for now and heads out on his run.
***
FF can admit that he’s a bit adrift in what Andrew and Captain Neil are doing right now.
He really should go grab another five hour energy because falling asleep IN FRONT of an irritated Andrew Minyard feels like a death sentence but “Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” And having a blanket thrown over him did not feel like a threat even if he can feel Andrew’s eyes watching him.
FF is tired and when he’s tired he tends to make stupid decisions. So FF lets himself drift off to sleep while the man who was likely going to move him to a secondary location sat and watched.
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His dreams are not peaceful.
He’s running, can’t escape, an echo of words he should have considered before letting himself drift off and he knows he’s going to DIE.
He wakes up with a start to the smell of bacon, eggs, and hashed browns with Nicky standing over him. “Hey there sleeping beauty! I made you a plate!” He says and hands FF a plate of breakfast that smiles up at him with a bacon mouth, egg eyes, and hashed brown hair.
FF takes the plate and digs in immediately. He needs his strength.
“Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.”
Andrew Minyard was going to hunt him for SPORT.
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NEXT
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As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly? (Cheesecookie whatever you did let me actually select you this time)
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arrgh-whatever · 9 months
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kindahoping4forever · 5 months
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Ash via Perola Navarro's IG Story
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