#HEY SO THIS SONG MAKE ANYONE ELSE EMO?? NO???

[nihongoseito]

RADWIMPS 「すずめの涙」 “tears of suzume” - 歌詞と英訳

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in case you don’t know, this song is a play on the japanese idiom 雀の涙 ‘sparrow’s [suzume’s] tears,’ meaning ‘a drop in the bucket’ or an ‘insignificant amount’ of something. 

also, notice toward the end when it changes between 私/僕 and あなた/君? it seems to me like they’re trading verses back and forth between suzume and souta (or like abstractions of them lol), so i have *starred the verses i think are souta’s. much to think about 🤔 anyways, the rо̄maji is below the cut!

未来色した世界に　過去色まみれの 私が漂っているの　あなたは見つけたの

in a future-colored world, i am stained with the color of the past and i’m adrift　then you found me

今日の続きは明日と　どなたが決めたの？ 前ならえできない私を　日々は素通りなの

who decided that tomorrow follows today? i can’t learn from the past and the days pass me by

不思議だね　想い出と写真は 遠い過去なのに 一番新しく光るのはなぜ

isn’t it strange　my memories and photos are from long ago but they’re what shines brightest—why is that?

強くなりたいと　願えば願うほど なぜだろうその目は　私を弱くさせる

i wish with all my heart to become strong why do your eyes make me feel weak?

泣いてなんかないよ　泣くわけがないでしょ あなたが見てるのは　すずめの涙 神様も知らない　すずめの涙

i’m not crying, there’s no way i would cry what you’re seeing are sparrow’s tears sparrow’s tears even god can’t see

あの人のところへ早く　行きたいと願えど この両の足で行けるとこ　ではないようなのです

even though i wish to go swiftly to where that person is it doesn’t seem like someplace i can go by foot

過去色まみれの私の　未来をあなたは 「一緒に探してみようよ」　そう言ってくれたの

i’m stained with the color of the past, but as for my future— “let’s go find it together” you said

忘れたくない　ものばかり抱きしめ 次の未来受け取る隙間はどこにあるの？

i hug close everything that i don’t want to forget where is there any opening to receive the next future?

*強くなりたいと　思えるのは君の 泣く顔に胸が　耐えられないから

*the reason i want to become strong is because my heart can’t bear your crying face

*どうでもよくないよ　この僕にとっては 海よりも大きな　すずめの涙 海に一滴落ちれば色が変わってく

*it does make a difference, it makes a difference to me suzume’s tears that are even bigger than the ocean when one drop falls into the ocean, its color changes

強くなりたいと　願えば願うほど なぜだろうその目は　私を弱くさせる

i wish with all my heart to become strong why do your eyes make me feel weak?

泣いてなんかないよ　泣くわけがないでしょ あなたが見てるのは　すずめの涙 神様も知らない　すずめの涙

i’m not crying, there’s no way i would cry what you’re seeing are sparrow’s tears sparrow’s tears even god can’t see

*気づかぬわけないよ　そんなの無理だよ 僕にはそれしか　目に入らないほど

*there’s no way i wouldn’t notice, that’s impossible it’s the only thing i can see at all

*大きな結晶　すずめの涙

*suzume’s tears, like great crystals

mirai iro shita sekai ni　kako iro mamire no watashi ga tadayotte iru no　anata wa mitsuketa no

kyou no tsuzuki wa ashita to　donata ga kimeta no? mae narae dekinai watashi o　hibi wa sudoori na no

fushigi da ne 　omoide to shashin wa tooi kako na no ni ichiban atarashiku hikaru no wa naze

tsuyoku naritai to　negaeba negau hodo naze darou sono me wa　watashi o yowaku saseru

naite nanka nai yo　naku wake ga nai desho anata ga miteru no wa　suzume no namida kamisama mo shiranai　suzume no namida

ano hito no tokoro e hayaku　ikitai to negaedo kono ryou no ashi de ikeru toko　de wa nai you na no desu

kako iro mamire no watashi no　mirai o anata wa “issho ni sagashite miyou yo”　sou itte kureta no

wasuretakunai　monobakari dakishime tsugi no mirai uketoru sukima wa doko ni aru no?

*tsuyoku naritai to　omoeru no wa kimi no nakugao ni mune ga　taerarenai kara

*dou demo yokunai yo　kono boku ni totte wa umi yori mo ooki na　suzume no namida umi ni itteki ochireba iro ga kawatteku

tsuyoku naritai to　negaeba negau hodo naze darou sono me wa　watashi o yowaku saseru

naite nanka nai yo 　naku wake ga nai desho anata ga miteru no wa　suzume no namida kamisama mo shiranai　suzume no namida

*kizukanu wake nai yo　sonna no muri da yo boku ni wa sore shika　me ni hairanai hodo

*ooki na kesshou　suzume no namida

[slvtforfiction]

Could you write a Johnnie guilbert x f reader where the reader deals with sh. The reader is a famous song writer and YouTuber, she gets comments about her scars and just hate comments in general and johnnnie comforts her?

Late night hate

☆ yess ofcourse x

☆ Johnnie Guilbert X Reader

☆ Fluff/Comfort

☆ Cw: Self harm

☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I've lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D (Please look at pinned post to see if requests are open.)

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

Masterlist | Pinned post

I finished editing my video and smiled to myself as I quickly posted it. I walked downstairs to where Johnnie was sat watching TV and smiled at him as I walked into the kitchen.

“Pumpkin!” He yelled lightheartedly and I giggled at the nickname, “Yeah?” I said as I walked back into the living room, “Cuddle?” He asked like a toddler and I giggled again.

“Give me a minute and I’ll be back I just wanna make a snack.” I said to him and he nodded as I walked back into the kitchen.

I grabbed some strawberries,kiwis,apples and honeydew melon and began to cut them up to make a fruit bowl.

As I finished cutting up the last kiwi I put it into the bowl and walked back into the living room. I sat down next to Johnnie with the bowl in hand and lied down on his chest.

I ate my fruit as Johnnie took little bits for himself and I cosied up to his chest as I watched whatever was on the TV.

After finishing my fruit bowl,I sat it on the table and pulled out my phone to check how my video was doing.

Johnnie looked over my shoulder as I checked on it,equally as curious as me. This wasn’t something I usually posted so I didn’t expect much from it.

However when I looked at the videos analytics it looked to be doing better than the previous videos I’ve been doing.

I smiled as I clicked onto the comments and began reading through,though I was quickly losing my smile.

Imagine showing ur fucking scars,wtaf.

^56 replies

She’s such an attention whore 🤣

^34 replies

Fucking emo

^21 replies

Y/n don’t listen to them x

^- shut up emo

^ view more replies

What’s her issue 💀

^15 replies

Go back to wearing jumpers u fucking emo

^- Leave her alone??

^- Maybe she should stop cutting 🤣

^view more replies

I stopped reading after that.

Johnnie looked down at me and pulled me into a bigger hug as I began crying into his shoulder.

He didn’t say anything,he just held me as I broke down into his shoulder.The silence of the house interrupted by my tears.

“It’s okay.” He said softly as he lifted me up,he sat me in his lap and I kept my face in his shoulder,not daring to look up.

He rubbed my back,whispering sweet nothings as he softly rocked me back and forth. “These scars do not mean you are ugly,these scars show you’ve survived a battle and you should be proud of yourself.” He told me as he hooked his index finger under my chin to make me look at him.

I sniffled and nodded my head,wiping my tired eyes and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Are you okay,princess?” He asked and I nodded my head tearfully.

He wiped away my tears,kissing my lips softly as he held his hands around my face. I smiled and giggled as he began kissing around my face endlessly.

“I love you,loser.” I said light heartedly and he smiled “I love you too,idiot.” He said and I giggled.

If you or anyone you know struggles with self harm,you’re not alone. Please reach out to a trusted family member,friend or professional.

Samaritans- 116 123

Shout- 85258

Childline- 0800 1111

[exhaslo]

Hey girl!!! I was wondering if you could write something about yandre!miguel x shy!reader to IFHY by Tyler The creator. If not that’s okayyyy

I had to google the song lyrics to know what it was about haha. Def different for sure...Personally, not my cup of tea, but I can try and make it work.

Also, my next story after Over-Time will be a Yandere!Miguel x Gamer!Reader! So I hope you enjoy that one when it comes out!!!

Warning: Language, thoughts of murder, possessiveness, stalking, thoughts of abuse, kidnapping

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I never would've thought that Feelings could get thrown in the air 'Cause I accidentally caught that I need some new boxing gloves, shit got hectic whenever I fought back For example, ten minutes can't go past without you brushing my thoughts That's fourteen forty a day so I'll say a hundred and forty four times I think about you or something like that Lost match, the fucking thought of you with somebody else I don't like that cellular convos getting left in the wrong 'Cause I get so fucking mad when you don't write back This isn't a song I just happen to rhyme when I get emo And find time to write facts (fuck) I love you

How could anyone ever thought about claiming you as their own? Especially since Miguel had decided to make you his. Not that he officially told anyone, but it should be common knowledge. Miguel spoke to you and that was enough.

He didn't want these feelings at first, because he knew what would happen. You plagued his mind constantly, unable to let him breathe for even a minute. It all started out simple enough, but then it kept getting worse as time went on.

Miguel loathed the thought of someone dating you.

For every second the two of you share a room and you don't look at him, oh it boiled Miguel. How dare you not give him the attention he deserves? How dare you not give your love to him as much as Miguel does for you.

Miguel knew everything about you. Every like and dislike. Miguel knew your pattern going home. He knew how you worked. Miguel followed your every movement.

Miguel did everything in his power to understand you. He would always be right behind you, no matter what.

Don't you realize how much Miguel loves you?

How much you are supposed to love him?

I fucking hate you But I love you I'm bad at keeping my emotions bubbled You're good at being perfect We're good at being troubled Yeah

I fucking hate you But I love you I'm bad at keeping my emotions bubbled You're good at being perfect We're good at being troubled Yeah

Miguel had done so much for you. He had tried to hide these obsessive feelings, but how could he? You were beautiful. Miguel went out of his way to make sure you felt loved.

To make sure that you relied on him!

So why the fuck were you not giving him more attention?

Why the fuck were you just stuck at giving Miguel hugs and pats on the shoulder?

Miguel was starting to lose his temper. What did he have to do to get you to understand his feelings? To get you to understand your feelings for him?!

WHY WERE YOU DOING THIS TO HIM?!

Girl you fucking with my emotions The fuck is all this noise about? I even considered picking up smoking You turned to a bitch, who let the dogs out? But in my dog house My bitch is the raddest Crazy who makes me the happiest Can make me the saddest Look, Alice Let's get lost in your wonder-er-land, fuck an atlas You're perfectly perfect for me What the fuck is this, practice? Actually, if you even consider leaving I'll lose a couple screws in due time, I'll stop breathing And you'll see the meaning of stalking When I pop out the dark to find you And that new dude that you're seeing with an attitude Then proceed to fuck up your evening Make sure you never meet again like goddamn vegans 'Cause when I hear your name, I cannot stop cheesing I love you so much that my heart stops beating when you're leaving And I'm grieving and my heart starts bleeding Life without you has no goddamn meaning Sorry I'm passive aggressive for no goddamn reason It's that my mood change like these goddamn seasons I'll fall for you, but I love you

Miguel was furious. How dare you play with his feelings like this? How dare you agree to date anyone else while Miguel was right there for you?

Oh, how Miguel considered following you home.

Oh, how Miguel considered killing that scum of a boyfriend you had.

You were just confused. You just needed to practice with someone, right? You just wanted to be perfect and ready for when you finally confess your feelings to Miguel.

RIGHT?!

Miguel had to keep his cool. He knew that this was just a short-lived practice for you. He still had to be there for you. To show you your mistakes. After all, Miguel couldn't live without you. You belonged to him and you knew that.

You fucking knew that, so why the fuck were you playing this game?

I'm bad at keeping my emotions bubbled You're good at being perfect We're good at being troubled Yeah

The sky is falling, girl, let's try to catch it The sky is falling, girl, let's try to catch it The sky is falling, girl, let's try to catch it tonight The sky is falling, girl, let's try to catch it The sky is falling, girl, let's try to catch it The sky is falling, bitch, let's try to catch it tonight, come on

The smile Miguel hid as you cried onto his shoulder. Your practice boyfriend didn't understand you as well as Miguel did. He kept hurting you like this. Making you feel like you've done something wrong.

Which you did.

Miguel would just welcome you into his embrace. Comforting you as he thought of about killing that son of a bitch. You were made for Miguel. You were his.

So, Miguel was going to give you a chance to redeem yourself.

This was your last chance.

Come on baby Even though I hate you I still love you I love you And Salem I know I'm passive aggressive (I'm sorry, fuck) (Come here) I like when we hold hands (You're the best around) See I get jealous (fuck) And if I see that nigga (if I see him) I just might kill him (look) (Look, I wanna strangle you, till you stop breathing) Love, love, love (Spend the rest of my life, looking for air) (So you can breathe, or we can die together, you and me) (Fuck, look) I'm in love (love) I'm in love (love)

You were so beautiful. Miguel could never hate you.

But he did.

But he loved you.

You were still with that practice boyfriend, holding his hand as he joined for a work dinner party. Miguel just smiled as he burned holes in that fucking asshole's head.

How dare he claim you.

Unable to withstand this pain, Miguel pulled you to the side. He needed to hear your voice alone. He needed you to want his attention. Miguel just needed you to admit your feelings for him.

As the two of you talked in the balcony, Miguel withheld his breathe as you reached for his hand.

The smile you gave him was unlike any other.

Miguel tuned out your words as he watched your lips move. The temptation to take you away and make you his. How sweet Miguel would treat you.

"Miguel, I'm sorry...but we should see each other less."

And then you had to fuck it up.

You blew your last chance.

I fucking hate you But I love you I'm bad at keeping my emotions bubbled You're good at being perfect We're good at being troubled Yeah

Yo, so why is Samuel such a fucking dick? He isn't such a badass actually He's only here because he ran away Because some shit happened back, home he's actually a dweeb Yo, what happened?

Washing blood off was no easy task. Hiding the body was much easier.

If only you had admitted your feelings.

If only you weren't being difficult.

Making his way to the basement, Miguel hummed lowly as he faced you. The light was dimmed, but Miguel could see you clear as day. You had a new look in your eyes.

Fear.

Miguel just smiled as he approached you, watching you flinch as he went to hold you. This was your lesson. This was your punishment. You should have listened to Miguel.

Now, you were Miguel's little prisoner. His darling girlfriend. You were never going to go against Miguel's wishes ever again.

"I love you so much, (Y/N)." Miguel chuckled as he kissed your head.

His hand stroked your cheek, waiting for your response.

"I-I....I love you too."

There is was.

Why did it take so long for you to admit that?

But it didn't matter anymore. You were now where you belonged.

With Miguel.

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Hope you enjoyed, def different than what I usually write.

Hope I did a decent job with the song tho!!!

[delulu4dean]

“Audio-Therapy”

Warnings: none

Parings: Dean x sister!reader

Summary: you show Dean the magic of audio therapy

Word count: 1,679

You’ve known your brothers Sam and Dean since you were about ten years old. Your dad didn’t tell you about them, and he didn’t tell them about you. It was a one night stand after a hunt, he met your mom at a bar and you were born. When you were ten, your mom said she’s done raising you on her own, and demanded John be in your life. Unfortunately it wasn’t going to happen, as John was dead. Finding out about Adam was already a lot that year for them, but finding out about you too? A ten year old sister? Sam and Dean weren’t exactly happy or excited. And then the whole thing with Lucifer and Sam being in the cage together happened. That’s when Dean started being more present in your life. Along with him being with Lisa and Ben, he had you sleep over a few times, he’s visited other times. And that’s when your connection to the Winchester brothers started.

Around the time you were fifteen, there was a time where Dean died, and then he wasn’t. And during that time, you helped Sam look for Dean, because one moment Dean was dead in the bunker, the next he was gone, with a letter left behind. Sam fought against you helping at first, but he was desperate to find Dean. This was your first real experience with the supernatural world. Seeing Dean as a demon was a terrifying experience, to say the least. But you knew you wanted to be a hunter just like your brothers. And after you, Castiel, and Sam cured Dean, you begged and begged and begged to be a hunter just like them. Sam and Dean protested and protested, but you didn’t back down. You chose to stay with them instead going back home. It’s not like your mother protested much, she never wanted a kid, let alone to be a single mother. But she also didn’t know what kind of things Sam and Dean were involved with.

Here you are now, 23, living in the bunker with your older brothers, still. You’ve become quite the skilled hunter, and you can tell your brothers are proud. Proud and scared.

You’ve picked up on some things over the years. One being how much Dean bottles up all his emotions. It’s not like you’re one to talk much about your feelings either, you typically keep them to yourself… for the most part. But in your time at the bunker you’ve discovered audio therapy. And you figured it’s time Dean tries it.

“Dean, grab your keys, we’re going on a drive,” you order your eldest brother.

“Where?” he asked, looking up from his laptop.

“I dunno, maybe we can grab some burgers or something.” You shrug.

Dean looks at you for a moment, thinking.

“You just want to go on a drive?”

“Yes, I’m introducing you to therapy.”

“So I’m driving to a therapist?” Dean raises his eyebrow.

“No, just get your butt in the car,” you push.

Dean reluctantly shuts his laptop, and gets up, grabbing his key. You can tell he was not in the mood for anything with the word therapy in it, especially after taking you to your “retail therapy session.” You both get in his car and you put in a mixtape you had to make for the car because no way was Dean letting you just find a way to connect your phone to it.

“Hey, you know the rules,” he starts.

“The rules are stupid when you don’t let anyone else drive this car, so zip it,” you tell him.

“So what’s this therapy?” Dean asks you, starting the car.

“Audio therapy,” you answer.

“What, like driving with music? I already do that. All the time. A little bit of AC/DC and some time on the road and I’m good.” He begins driving.

“It’s more complicated than that. Ignoring your feelings isn’t therapy, Dean,” you begin to explain. “Audio therapy is screaming at the top of your lungs to songs that sing your pain.”

“Like that mixtape you made? The one with all the emo songs?”

“Yes, and that’s what we’re listening to right now, so I can show you what audio therapy feels like.”

You press play, and One Step Closer by Lincoln Park. And as the song plays, and you sing along, Dean just listens. You enjoy your time singing, and then you start screaming. “Shut up when I’m talking to you! Shut up! Shut up!” Dean glances at you before his eyes go back to the road, his facial expression a mix of concerned and impressed.

“You okay, kid?” he finally asks.

“After that song? Yes,” you smile.

“So what makes this different than just listening to music?”

“You find songs that you relate to and sing your little heart out. Someone else already put your feelings into words, all you gotta do is sing them,” you try to explain to your brother. “So are you going to play your music, or what?”

Dean starts playing his music, mumbling the words. You lean forward to turn up the volume before slumping back into the passenger seat.

“I can’t hear you!” you poke his arm.

“Why does this matter so much to you?” Dean questions you.

“Because all you do is hold in your emotions. You don’t talk about anything, you just hold it all in. This way you can at least get some of it out,” you spell out for him.

“I’m fine,” he insists.

“You know, I’ve never heard a person who’s actually fine say ‘I’m fine.’ They’re always the complete opposite of fine.”

“What about when you say you’re fine?”

“Oh come on, don’t tell me you actually believe me when I say that!”

“You’re ‘I’m fine’ is very convincing,” Dean defends himself. “Considering your resting tone is annoyed.”

“That’s not my resting tone, I’m just always annoyed. Like have you ever thought maybe, just maybe, I’m just never fine?”

Dean sighs, as you both fall into silence, minus the music playing in the car. Dean mumbles to the music again, as he pulls into the parking lot of a local burger joint.

“Are you okay?” Dean asks.

“Yes, actually,” you say. You avoid ‘I’m fine’ after the conversation you and your brother just had.

“Are you sure?” Dean looks over at you. “Because you just said you’re never-“

“I’m okay. I’m not great but I’m okay,” you insist, cutting him off. “But I’ll be great if I can get a burger in my tummy!”

The two of you walk inside and order, before sitting at the table. After a few minutes, you’re digging in. Well Dean is digging in, you’re eating slower than him. He wipes his mouth before taking a sip of his soda before looking up at you.

“So, what’s up with you, anything new?” Dean asks you. “Any boyfriends?” You shake your head in response, your mouth full of food. “Girlfriend?” You shake your head again.

Silence falls onto you again, as you continue eating your food, one fry by one fry. Dean just watched you eat.

After eating, the two of you walk to his car and he plays his music again. You just look out the window as he drives around. He sings along to the music, this time louder, clearer. As you look out the window you see you’re not going home, but rather that’s he’s continuing the drive. You look up at him and he’s really getting into the song that’s playing. The drive keeps going for the next fifteen minutes until you’re somewhere. Nowhere? Well it’s dark, no cars around.

“Shit, you’re finally going to kill me,” you joke, in a serious tone with a deadpanned face. Dean did not pick up on the joke.

“Kill you? What no, we’re here to… talk about our feelings,” Dean says. You can tell it was harder for him to say the last part, because Dean has to fight it out.

“That’s the point of the music,” you groan.

“Come on, kid. I’m thinking I’m not the only one you’re doing this for.”

“I want you to open up to me, not the other way around,” you explain to him.

“I will, but you got to open up to me too.”

“I’m just dealing with normal stuff, you’re the guy who saves tons of lives. You have a lot more to talk about.”

Dean sighs, putting the car in park. He looks over at you, taking a deep breath, as he puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Look, just because the things I’ve been through are crazy, doesn’t mean you haven’t been through stuff.”

“See this is why I prefer the music, nobody has to talk. We can sing, we can scream, and I don’t have to feel like I’m burdening you with my problems. You may say it’s fine but I don’t feel like it is. If these feelings are all too much for me I can’t imagine dumping them on somebody else, so-“

“Hey, it’s a lot for one person to carry alone, let me carry the weight with you.” Dean’s hands move from your shoulder to your head, steadying your face to look him in the eyes. “Tonight we’re both going to open up. You let out how you’re feeling to me, and I’ll tell you how I’m feeling.”

And that’s how you spend the rest of the night. For the next hour and a half, you and Dean take turns, going back and forth talking about things. Small things, big things, whatever is bubbling over or irking you, you talk about it. Sometimes one of your problems will remind Dean of something, and it flows into a new conversation. There’s some crying too, but good crying. And this is just the beginning of a weekly check in you and dean start doing. Once a week, you play some songs, sing out how you feel, and by the end of the night, if it’s still not enough, you talk it out.

✰✰✰✰✰

A/N: This kind of sucks sorry I had like a different idea but I did not know how to write it so I just did this.

[sharpth1ng]

Sorry if this is a weird ask but I’ve recently lost my billy person and im wondering how to move on. We were almost exactly how you write them except for the obvious so i was hoping for some insight. As of now i dont feel like a person with him not in my life anymore.

Hey so I'm probably not the ideal relationship/ breakup advice giver but I'm gonna do my best.

First of all I want to say that from what I've written so far Stu deserves better than what Billy is giving him. He deserves communication, reciprocity and expressions of care that Billy isn't emotionally mature enough to give at this point in the story, and you deserve that too.

Second, my breakup recovery formula has two steps:

Feel whatever you're feeling

Sadness, anger, loss, literally whatever you're feeling you need to let yourself have that. If you're like me it's really tempting to just stuff that shit down and bury it but doing that just makes it explode out of you later. So you need to vent, write it out, draw angsty stuff, go for long walks listening to your most emo song selection. Whatever feels right for you to let that shit out, just try not to take it out on yourself. You don't deserve that.

It also helps to treat yourself. Have special snacks, take a hot bath if you like those. Let yourself play video games for a whole day if that's something you do. Basically just indulge yourself in a positive way.

2. Figure out who you are on your own and who you want to be

Honestly that's the best advice I can give to anyone, whether or not you're going through a breakup or the loss of a friendship. It's a lot easier to build a healthy connection when you know and feel (at least mostly) secure in yourself. It can be hard to get there and it's alright to be a work in progress, but there's nothing scarier than being in state where you need someone else to define you. That makes you vulnerable to manipulation and in my experience it also just makes me weird and paranoid in the relationships I do have.

Figuring out who you are can mean a lot of stuff because there's a lot of things you can be, but basically you just start trying things. Make a list of stuff you've always wanted to try. Pick up a new hobby, learn a new skill, join a group or community. Sometimes it can be good to join an activist group or take part in some kind of collective action- helps you feel connected and like you're making a positive change outside of yourself.

You can also try out a new clothing style, try listening to some new music, just give yourself a dose of stuff that's somewhat new to you. You don't have to stick to any of it and you don't have to like it all, but trying shit gives you opportunities to get to know yourself more, what you like and don't like for its own sake as opposed to what anyone else thinks of it.

This shit takes time and it's not easy, but nothing lasts forever, including sadness. You'll get through it, you'll figure yourself out better, and eventually you'll move on, whether that's on your own or with someone else.

Regardless, I hope you're doing alright right now. Just take it one step at a time, you'll be ok <3

[violaceum-vitellina-viridis]

Top 9 No-Skip Albums, as tagged by @concertconfetti. this was,,, so fucking hard oh my god, I have so fucking many no-skip albums, narrowing it down to a top 9 was,,, hhhhhh. I made several decisions in the direction of "accurate representation of my music taste" and “formative to me as a person” because if I tried to pick favorites I was literally never going to narrow this bitch down at all.

tagging @storm-and-starlight and uhhhhhh anyone else who wants to do this you can say I tagged you :D

personal lore explanations under the cut!

these are not in any particular order, to be clear, because as stated narrowing this down was a bitch and a half so I'm definitely not trying to rank shit

▶ Folie à Deux by Fall Out Boy

to be entirely honest, the entirety of Fall Out Boy's discography is no-skips the whole way down, but Folie was the very first full album of theirs I heard so obviously it has pride of place. this album is so fucking good, okay, and I'm so glad that people are coming around to how much of a banger it is but like Vinn said in theirs, I AM going to be on the "I loved this album before it was cool" train for eternity.

favorite song: Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes

▶ Endgame by Rise Against

almost all of Rise Against's discography is also no-skips for me, but this one came out when I was in middle / high school and obsessed with dystopian fiction so it made An Impression. it's also the album that has Make It Stop on it, a song written about the rash of queer suicides that made national and international news in September 2010; as a queer kid and Rise Against fan who was heavily affected by those suicides and everything surrounding the media about them, it was incredibly formative for me.

favorite song: Make It Stop (September's Children)

▶ DIVISIONS by Starset

Starset is another band whose entire discography is no-skips the whole way down. they are in fact my absolute favorite band -- I have shaved their logo into my hair before, I have four tattoos on my fingers that correspond to 4 of their songs, and I've done VIP for every one of their Utah shows since 2018. this album is the winner out of all of theirs because it contains several of my most favorite songs by them and also every song on this album is an absolute banger live.

favorite song: Other Worlds Than These

▶ Wretched and Divine: The Story of the Wild Ones by Black Veil Brides

look, I was an emo/scene kid. what do you want from me. this album of theirs wins over We Stitch These Wounds entirely because this one is an Album™, meant to be listened to in order as it tells a story. it was also formative to me as a person because it came out when I was in high school. recently I relistened to this album through again and experienced the full spectrum of human emotions. 

favorite song: tie between Resurrect the Sun and Overture, possibly just those two as a pair

▶ Ceremonials by Florence + the Machine

the first time I listened to this album all the way through was shortly after a good friend died in high school, and the opening song Only If For A Night straight up gutted me alive (positive). the rest of the album proceeded to fundamentally rewire me as a person. 

favorite song: Heartlines

▶ Excommunication by Tyler Glenn

as an ex-mormon I am contractually obligated to love this album, and tbh even if I wasn’t, I would still love it. it’s an incredibly fantastic look at the up-down-sidways of a faith crisis – something that’s both a crisis, a terrible thing to experience, and also a kind of rebirth into freedom. I have,,, a lot of feelings about this album and Tyler Glenn okay.

favorite song: Black Light or Devil

▶ Pressure Machine by The Killers

The Killers said, “hey, Utah fans, do you want to know what it feels like to be flayed alive?” and then did not wait for an answer. oh my god, this album is,,, so much. it’s an ode to small town mormon Utah and it’s brutal in the best goddamn way. I genuinely tear up every time I listen through it, and some days I cannot listen to it at all for fear of dissolving into a puddle of sobs. I almost never hear one song without just going and listening to the whole album through, too.

favorite song: Sleepwalker

▶ Pins and Needles by The Birthday Massacre

I don’t even know what to say about this album, I just adore it so much. the poetry and word play and cool music, it’s just. so goddamn good. honorable mention to Walking With Strangers by them as well, but this one won entirely because it’s the one I listen to through/on repeat the most.

favorite song: Two Hearts

▶ Dark Is the Way, Light Is a Place by Anberlin

once again with a band whose entirety discography is straight bangers the whole way down, but again: this was formative to who I am as a person. it was one of the first albums I ever owned (alongside Cities by them as well), and I have seriously considered getting the album title tattooed. I probably will at some point if I can figure out a design and place for it.

favorite song: Pray Tell

additional honorable mentions because FUCK it was so motherfucking hard to narrow this down:

▶ The Horror and The Wild and Ruin by The Amazing Devil

▶ Let The Ocean Take Me by The Amity Affliction

▶ A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out by Panic! At the Disco

▶ Atlas I and Atlas II by Sleeping At Last

▶ Post Traumatic by Mike Shinoda

▶ For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert

▶ BADLANDS by Halsey

[akwardlyuncool]

Spotify Wrapped 2023

So I'm here to talk about my hella basic year in music lol. If you're new here I got 2 Spotifys, which means I compare them every year to see which one I think is more accurate.

Basically I got my daily driver,  what I use most often and what’s signed in on my phone and then the Spotify I use for/while I’m working on projects on Akwardly Uncool. Anyway the LEFT side is the Daily Driver and the RIGHT is AkwardlyUncool.

So I'mma Start By Proudly Waving My Basic Card:

I might be wrong, but I feel like everybody who was even slightly in the Pop-Punk, Midwest Emo, Post Emo space had Hot Mulligan in their top 5, either artists or songs for 2023. It was just bound to happen and I ain't mad at it, cause have you listened to them?! Just had to acknowledge that real quick lol.

Minutes and Hours and Just Time:

15,850 minutes. About 264 hours. 11 Days.

Not gonna lie, based on some personal calculations, this was a shorter year for consuming music for me. (If you stick around for ACF 2024 I might divulge some of that reasoning, but for now I'll just say, It is what it is and I know why.) That being said I'll try to beef up my numbers again next year.

Top Artists:

Now don't get me wrong I love The Wonder Years down, however I made a collaborative playlist of The Wonder Years and Hot Mulligan with a friend and basically didn't turn it off lol (it was definitely a shower mix for sure) and that's how they ultimately won the award on my main account.

As for the "side" account, which felt like the main this year, Winnetka Bowling League is just one of those groups that's so good to put on and let run. Now of course I have my repeats, that I've been talking about for the last few years and then I added more and so whether it was going to their page and hitting play or seeking out my repeats, I totally get why they won there. They're coming out with a full album next year, so get used to me talking about them 90% of the time. And if you hop on their train, remember I'm the conductor.

As for the other artists who touched the top 5, I saw 3 of them in concert this year, so naturally their numbers are going to be higher. Also Watsky made it cause Intention is not on CD, hopefully yet.

Genre Sandwiches and Top Tracks:

It's Pop-Punk season mixed with Winnetka Bowling League and Watsky, so both sides reflect that. That being said, the main diver is where I play the majority of the R&B, Neo-Soul and the likes, so they're rarely reflected on my second. But KNOW, I am a mix of Pop-Punk and Neo-Soul, always!

Again it's Pop-Punk season or rather Hot Mulligan season and I spent a lot of time learning every word to those two tracks that won, but are too long for me to desire to type out now. "Draw and quarter a stranger to feel some blood on your fingers. You take away, robbery follow trends as a hobby, find flaws in everything else because you don't like yourself. Woe is me!"

Collector vs Alchemist:

They both say essentially the same thing which is that I make and listen to my own playlists more than anything else, but anyone who works with me could have told you that lol. Geniuses.

Winner? Winner? Chicken Dinner?

Again they basically say the same thing this year, which is that we listened to a lot of Hot Mulligan, Relient K is still my favorite band and if i see you in concert you tend to show up on my Wrapped for the year. I will say though that I'm hella surprised that this is the first year Lyfe Jennings didn't show up on my Wrapped and although that makes way for other folks, it's still a little sad lol.

.

.

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Hey we made it through Spotify Wrapped Time and now must move on to the more nuanced and obviously better Akward Class Favorites 2023. If you don't know, it where I just go through my year in movies, music, online content consumption and other things of the like, so better lol. Don't have an ETA on when that will go up, but I've taken the notes, so hopefully before the end of December.

[2headed-disaster]

nine (9) people you'd like to know better

tagged by @rimouskis and @yabagofmalk

It's late, but it's happening, yay!

Last Song: So glad you asked, it's GODDAMNITALL by the Wonder Years. I've been going on what I guess you'd call a midwest emo binge lately, and there's something very fun about screaming "MEET ME ON THE FIRE ESCAPE IF YOU'RE COMING TO SAAAAAAVE ME" in my car alone.

Currently Watching: I'm making my way through the TV show "From" but I take frequent breaks because 1) I get emotionally invested in characters and these poor characters are in distress all the time and SO AM I when I watch 2) my job has been kicking my absolute ass lately so when I do have time for tv my thoughts go in the general direction of "what can I watch that's guaranteed to make me happy." As much as I love "From," it is not the right choice for this headspace lol.

Currently Reading: Haven't been reading a ton (see work comment above) but I did recently finish Leave No Trace by Mindy Mejia which was good! It didn't knock my socks off, but it was a quick, entertaining read with a couple of fun twists in there. I think most of my enjoyment was derived from the fact that it took place in Duluth which Duluth! Hey I've been there! The writing will not blow you away, but it's fast-paced and never really boring.

Current Obsession: Trying new things! Specifically, food and drinks! I'm trying to break out of my cooking habits which has been very rewarding! There's been a few recipes that were duds, but I don't let it discourage me the way I did in the past. I also have my standbys for alcoholic drinks, but I've been branching out and trying some local brews and wines and almost all have been great!

I feel a little embarrassed tagging anyone else since I'm so late to even do this, so I'm going to take the cop-out route and say anyone who sees this and who wants to do it should!

[mentalhells]

推さないで-Don't Push Me

NOTE: the japanese slang term/pretty much direct equivalent to “stanning/to stan” is Oshi, which sounds like the term for to “pushing/to push”. i wish i could translate this song as “Don’t Stan Me”, but unfortunately that would mess up a lot of the clever wordplay and i want to be as accurate as possible so… maybe i’ll make a silly localized version later. for now just replace every instant of “push” with “stan” and “stanning” in your head

I’m an idol, a pretty-girl idol

I can’t fall in love, I’m not permitted to love

I’m messing around with my eyes and nose, I’m lying about my age

All I can drink is water, ‘cus I’m not permitted to get fat either

But really, I’m human too

Just like anyone else, I like you

You said that you like me too, but

Don’t you only like me when I’m standing on stage?

Don’t push me, pull me, draw me in

With the red thread, with the ace of hearts*

Try to pull me in, but don’t, don’t push me

On this lonely planet, as if we’re drawn together,**

I’ll show you what attraction is,

So don’t push me

You’re a fan, and that’s why I’m nervous

Even though you say “I adore you”

You’re buying hearts, buying them with money

Like a god, or a customer, whatever you are, sir,

But it’s not like that, you’re human too

Behind that smile, killing hearts

I want to draw attention, but also to be drawn in

Feel free to push me, a pushing-only relationship

I won’t give it, ‘cause you won’t give it to me

Both blue flowers and four-leaf clovers

If you won’t give it, then I won’t give it to you

Switching from one loneliness to another

But there must be someone… But y’know, y’know

You and I are both content

Surely everyone is someone else’s content

That girl’s tears were yummy today too

I stan it, it’s emo, it’s chill, it’s sus***

Hey,

You say that you like me but

I‘ve left the stage, so will you still like me?

Don’t push me, pull me, draw me in

Be gentle with my red thread, be gentle

Try to pull me in, but don’t, don’t push me

Try to enthral me and bewilder me,

Go ahead and seduce me****

Don’t push me… (x8)

I’m an idol

TRANSLATION NOTES

* you’re probably familiar with the red thread of fate, but if not, it’s a common folklore belief across several east asian cultures wherein an invisible red thread ties two soulmates together. 

** the original phrase, 引き合う, can mean both “to pull together/attract” and “to profit”… because that’s showbiz baby

*** this line is several internet slang terms: 推せる we’ve covered, エモい/emoi is, emo, but used less in the strictly negative emotion sense and more in the nostalgic or heartwrenching sense, like “i listened to that song again for the first time in years and got so emo🥺”. チルい/chirui is also literally, chill, and in this sense used for something that’s relaxing or chill to consume. 香ばしい/kobashii literally translates to fragrant, but is apparently ancient internet slang hailing from 2chan for someone who posts weird/cringe/creepy shit. you know, like we’d expect on our end from 4chan. i couldn’t really think of an equivalent period accurate term to describe eng shitposters…

**** the kanji 誘 for invite and 惑 for bewilder come together to make 誘惑, seduce. clever.

"hey, wait a second! this song isn't on streaming!" wow that's crazy you should buy the album.

[silentiumlitwicks]

9 and 13 :)

9 Song that makes you happy:

Upside Down- Set it Off

Emmet makes me listen to this when I spiral,

“Well I could focus on the hate, relive yesterday, and block out all the sunshine, or I could focus on my lane just live for today sight set on the bright side” “HEY IM GONNA MAKE A SMILE OUT OF THAT FROWN WE COULD TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN WE COULD TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN OH UNTIL THEY PUT ME SIX FEET UNDERGROUND WE COULD TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN WE COULD TURN IT UPSIDE DOW” this song just hits in a way sometimes it just snaps me the fuck out of the funk for a bit.

You are loved (Demo)- Set it off

“I’ve stood right where you’re standing, Bruised, batter, beaten, broken down wore the frown but im here to tell you, that you are looooooved you are loved.”

This is the opposite of nightmare this song really helps some days. It’s not a perfect cure for the horrors but it makes it a little easier to take. It reminds me that despite it all I matter to people.

Ringtone Remix- 100 gecs / Charlie XCX / Kero Kero Bonito / Rico Nasty

This collaboration just fucks ok?

Don’t cry “you don’t gotta lie just be honest with yourself you wouldn’t be here if it was for anyone else.” Ok?

13 song from the 80’s:

I think we’re alone now - Tiffany

“And then you put your arms around me and we tumble to the ground and the you say I think we’re alone now there doesn’t seem to be anyone around.”

Sorry but like yeah this song is on my mind rent free given reasons. I love the beat so much and it just makes me want to dance like the little fucking emo gay boy I am.

[thetardigrape]

So we're agreed, right, that this is basically the moment Ed turns:

Before this, he was dealing with the breakup and starting to connect with other people. After this, he pushes Lucius overboard, cuts off Izzy's toe, and goes full emo Kraken.

And we also seem to be agreed that this is sparked because the crew shout "Hey Ed, sing us another song!" and start chanting his name, and this hearkens back to "Play something for us, Jeff." They're a fickle crowd.

But it's more than that, I think. It's not just that the crew are fickle, or that the fancy folks were fickle. At this point, everyone has been fickle.

The fancy party, yeah, those people sucked. Ed thought he was fitting in, but he discovered no, he was only the entertainment. It was a blow to Ed's ego and worldview, thinking maybe he really didn't belong with the fancy people, but he had people in his life he cared about, people who he could count on.

Then his old pal Jack showed up, and they had a great time! They drank and reminisced and did horrible things to small animals. But all of that turned out to be a lie. It was all a ruse to separate Ed from Stede. Whatever history they may have had, Jack proved he couldn't be counted on.

Then Stede. Fuck. Ed bared his soul to Stede, took a risk telling him his feelings, and for a beautiful moment he had everything he wanted. But that wasn't real either. Stede kissed him on the beach and promised to run away to China with him, and then he disappeared. Ed couldn't count on Stede.

Then Izzy. Izzy Hands, Blackbeard's first mate, his right-hand man. By Izzy's own account, when Ed made him first mate, he told him above all else was loyalty to his captain. Until that day in the cabin, Ed could believe Izzy was true. Stupid, misguided, and cruel, yes, but true, thinking he was doing right by Ed, even if he was wrong about what "right" meant. But Izzy, spitting with fury, told Ed he should have let the English kill him. Izzy isn't loyal to Ed. He's only loyal to the Blackbeard persona. Ed cannot let his guard down around Izzy. Ed can't count on Izzy.

And finally, the crew. This crew stuttered in fear when they met him. This crew couldn't stop calling him sir and hung on his every word. They believed in the reputation of Blackbeard, and they feared and respected it. And yet so quickly, when he showed softness, that fear vanished. They rushed to call him by his given name and make demands of him. They saw him vulnerable and they stopped treating him as a captain. Ed can't count on his crew.

So of course he retreats into the Kraken. Everyone he has ever known has turned out to be unreliable. The only response Ed can really count on is fear. Blackbeard isn't enough. He was Blackbeard to the crew and it didn't help. Ed has to be the monster. He has to cultivate fear in every person he meets at every moment. Ed knows fear, and he knows how to use it. Fear is reliable.

Ed is still Ed. Beneath the makeup is the man weeping while gazing at the lighthouse. But now he knows he can never show that part of himself to anyone, because everyone who has ever seen him vulnerable has turned on him.

[m-jelly]

Hey Jelly~~~

So, my first request of all of them that I have to ask (i topped at ten bc i don't wanna overwhelm you, and I wanna leave a chance for the other readers) is this one. Hope u enjoy and don't overwork yourself girl, what would Levi say?

So, to begin with, it's a modern AU, where Levi is part of a band (u decide the position) I imagine being like that indie kinda emo band who isn't super rocky, with Eren and Furlan (yes I think they would be bffs), but they need a female voice to be the main singer (bc Mikasa gave up for fights w Levi), and Hange indicates reader, saying she also writes songs, but reader's shy bc her lyrics are all about Levi and she doesn't want him to notice..

The perfect notes

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre and tags: Modern AU, band AU, hidden feelings, romance, fluff, becoming a couple, Levi plays bass, Eren plays the drums, Furlan plays the guitar, confessions.

Concept: You've been an assistant in Levi's band for a while. Mikasa was the frontman, but after having an argument with Levi about Eren, she leaves. Desperate to find someone to replace her, they want to hold auditions but Hange suggests you. You sing one of their own songs and get the approval to be their singer, but Hange throws a spanner in the works by telling everyone you write songs. You refuse to let anyone hear your songs, but Levi confronts you and reads them only to get jealous over who you might have written them for. Time to confess.

You hurried past the team, who seemed really panicked as they ran around. You weaved around people making sure you didn't drop the drinks. You stepped onto the stage and handed a drink to a happy Furlan, a sad Eren and finally a stressed Hange.

You blushed and spied Levi by himself sitting on the edge of the stage with his bass guitar. You walked over to him with all the courage you had. "Levi?"

He looked up at you, his furrowed brows relaxed. He gave you the smallest smile. "Hey, brat." He reached over and took his tea. "The tea you always make for me is the best." He patted the floor next to him. "Sit."

You sat down. "Only if it's okay and I'm not bothering you."

"You're not." He sighed. "I fucked up."

You lightly touched the bass guitar. "I'm sure you didn't."

"Mikasa quiet because of me."

You nibbled your lip. "Right...what did you say to her?"

He groaned. "She made all her songs about Eren. She didn't want to sing anything else and it's going to fuck things up for us."

You blushed. "Right." You knew all the songs you wrote were about Levi. "But songs about someone else are nice."

"Her songs had Eren's name in it."

You gasped, yours had no names in so you were okay. "Right. Well, I guess people might not like that."

He put his tea down and started playing the bass a little. "I don't mind songs about love." He glanced over at you with a blush. "Our best love song was written by me about...never mind." He looked away. "What I'm saying is, I don't want to be her backup singer and singing Eren's name."

You watched Levi's fingers closely and felt a heat burn in you. You looked up to Levi's face as he focused. "I love that song."

Levi smiled. "I'm glad." He realised he was smiling and cleared his throat to cover up. "Well, anyway we're not sure what we're going to do. We might hold emergency auditions."

"I wish you all the best." You jumped when Hange leaned over between you and Levi. "Hange!"

Hange smiled. "I know who could sing for us."

Levi looked at his friend. "Tch, this better be good."

Hange looks at you and said your name. "She's an excellent singer."

Levi frowned and looked at you. "You are?"

You blushed. "I ah...I sing sometimes..."

Hange smirked. "She should sing that love song you wrote."

Levi's cheeks burned. "O-Oh."

You nibbled your lip. "I don't know."

Hange yanked you to your feet. "Come on! Show him what you've got."

You leaned over and whispered. "What are you doing?

"Giving you a shot to confess to Levi."

"I'm not ready."

Hange stood you in front of the mic. "This is your chance. Be brave."

You sighed and held the mic. "Fine, I'll sing."

Levi jogged over to his mic. "Furlan? Eren? Start the music." He looked over at you. "You got this."

You nodded and listened to the beat. You closed your eyes and thought about Levi as you sang your heart out. This meant so much to you to sing Levi's song. You were curious about who he wrote it for, but you were not going to let it get to you.

Levi turned to you after. "You're great. Fantastic. Can you sing for us tonight?"

You smiled a little. "Sure. I need an outfit."

Hange dragged you along. "GOT IT!"

You were shoved into a sexy goth outfit with dark makeup on and your hair is done perfectly. You were pushed around and had earpieces put in. You were shoved on stage where the concert hall was full of people. You were nervous, but a little squeeze on your arm from Levi made everything better.

You sang your heart out and had fun doing it. You knew the set well because you'd helped out so much. You started enjoying yourself as you danced on the stage as you sang. You finished the last song and danced around Levi making him smile. You giggled at the cute blush on his cheeks.

Levi pulled you close at the end and bowed with you. "Well done brat."

You blushed at his low open smart white shirt. "Thank you." You cleared your throat. "I'm going to my room."

Levi frowned a little and put his bass away. He stopped Hange before she walked past. "Oi? What's going on with the brat?"

Hange looked Levi up and down in his smart shoes, tight black trousers and a low open white smart shirt. "Maybe because you look really good. Anyway, you seen her songs?"

"What?"

"She's written a lot. You should go see."

Levi hummed and walked to your dressing room. He knocked on the door and slipped into your room. "Oi brat?"

You stopped still as you stood in your comfy clothes. "Oh, hey. Sorry, I changed to comfy things before leaving. I can change back."

Levi shook his head as he blushed. "No, no, you umm...you look adorable."

"Thank you." You pointed. "I'm going to the bathroom. Wait here."

He nodded and watched you leave. He looked around and noticed a book. He picked it up and flicked through it and read the beautiful songs. He loved every single one of them. He moved to the last page to see a picture taken of him with little hearts around him.

You stepped out of your bathroom and sighed. "Makeup all clean!" You gasped when you saw Levi had your songbook. "Le-Levi. What are you..."

He smiled a little. "These songs about me?"

You whined. "I won't ever sing them. I don't want you to be angry at me like you were at Mikasa."

He walked over to you. "These are beautiful."

You blushed. "I-I umm...thank you."

He held your chin and kissed you. "My love song is about you."

You held your breath. "Really? You wrote that a year ago."

"I'm terrible with words and I only see you on tour. I want to see you more." He kissed you and hummed. "I love you."

You cupped the back of his head and roughly kissed him. "I love you."

Levi lifted you up and sat you on your makeup table. "Mine."

You wrapped your arms around his neck. "Yours."

[dreamcatcherrs]

a high school prom au where the reader and Dream are like childhood best friends and the readers date shows up with someone else then when the reader feels all lonely, Dream is like “what if we danced🥺” ??? anyways love you and your fanfics you’re like my favorite writer on tumblr💖💘

+ this is such a cute concept! I’ve never written anything like this, but I hope it was what you wanted<3

++ also this is such an old request, I’m so sorry

prom night - dream

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: high school au! dream x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: after being abandoned by your prom date, the person you expected the least to spend the night with asks you for a dance.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 1.501

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, fluff, swearing, slight mention of alcohol use.

song recommendation: love on the brain - rihanna

you couldn’t believe your eyes.

there your date stood, arm wrapped around a person that you for sure knew wasn't you. the excitement disappeared from every corner and edge of your body, hands falling to your sides in complete disappointment.

proudly, your so-called date stepped forward in line with a smile on their face, waiting to be the next for the photo shoot the had been set up. your smile was gone. and so was your passion for continuing this prom.

looking down, you turned on your heels, walking away from the great asshole of a date, and finding an empty seat by one of the available tables.

you’d wondered why it took so long for your date to arrive - you should’ve known, really. but no - now you were just left sitting alone by an empty table. what was the point of even being there anymore when all you could feel was loneliness?

everyone else was having fun, partying and smiling about the night ahead of them - just like you should’ve been. but now, you were just left with feeling disappointed in yourself. how could you make yourself believe that someone actually wanted to bring a date like you to the prom? what were you thinking?

you sighed deeply as you rested your head in the palm of your hand, other hand busy with tracing the cutouts on the table.

“just go over there, man!”

“yeah, they’re just sitting there all alone… this is your perfect chance!”

clay scratched the back of his head, staring down at the drink in his hand.

“I don't know… what if they say no?”

george and nick both rolled their eyes. the only one who really believed that was gonna happen would be clay. it was crystal clear to literally everyone else that the two of you had developed feelings for each other over the many years of knowing one another. clay would always brush it off with a “we’re just friends”, but really, he knew they were right.

he’d known you since he was 8 and you 7 - having been best friends since that day and until last year. you'd kinda… broken off since then. as you grew older, more important things had distracted you from keeping the connection, and eventually, you just slipped away.

he knew he liked you as more than a friend. but he was certain you didn't.

after all, you wanted to go with a complete dickhead, who ditched you anyway. and now look where you were.

“hey guys~ why are you wasting the night just standing here? let’s party!” karl slurred as he came crashing into george and nick, swinging both arms around their shoulder from behind.

as george was busy pushing karls’ arm off of him, and nick pulling him closer, clay’s eyes were only focused on you. you looked so… sad. no one should be sad on their prom night, and frankly, maybe his friends were right.

before he knew it, his feet dragged him across the dance floor, towards your place on the chair. george’s eyes widened, a big smile spreading across his face, showing off his braces.

“would you two stop flirting with each other and watch what is happening right now?”

nick and karl giggled.

“why, are you jealous gogy?” nick teased, causing a light shade of pink to brush across george’s cheeks.

“shut up-”

“hey.”

the second you broke away from your melancholy stare at the table, your heart started racing and a wave of sweat danced across your skin. he hadn't talked to you since… you couldn’t even remember the last time.

lifting your head off your hand, you sat up straight, watching as clay scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“hi,” you responded, voice quiet and unsure.

why was he talking to you all of a sudden? after all these months with absolutely no contact with each other, now he wants to talk to you? on the other hand, it’s not like you'd been very communicative with him either…

clay hesitated slightly, shifting on his feet. “why are you sitting here all alone? I thought you had a date?”

you sighed, corner of your lips turning down slightly. “yeah… they ditched me.” you looked away from him, feeling somewhat embarrassed that you'd let yourself get into a situation like that.

clay felt bad. how could someone let go so easily of someone as perfect as you? on the other hand, this meant that no one else could have you - and that made him kind of relieved.

he hesitated a little before speaking up again; “what a dickhead.”

that made you laugh a little. “yeah.”

silence approached after that, and a tension started building up. the both of you could feel the unspoken words you'd been keeping from each other rise up - yet you remained quiet.

after all, there wasn’t really anyone you could blame your fading friendship on - apart from yourselves.

clay cleared his throat, as a new, slower song came on, hand reaching out in front of him, hovering right before you. your eyes trailed along his tux-clad arm and up to his eyes, noticing the withheld love in them.

“do you wanna dance with me?”

you blinked at him, thankful that the fluorescent lights made it hard for him to see the blush on your cheeks. your heart felt as if it was pounding out of your chest.

“I-,” you stuttered, recollecting yourself quickly before placing your hand into his, fitting perfectly right into his palm. you smiled up at him softly. “I’d love to.” he smiled back to you, gripping onto your hand and lead you through the large crowd of people onto the dance floor.

he turned to you, taking in how absolutely breathtaking you looked right then. it was hard for him not to blurt out compliments at you at any given chance.

his hands found their place on your waist, and you let your hand snake around his neck, resting right where his haircut ended. it tickled him in a way that made him realise just how much he had missed your touch - hell, even talking to you reminded him of how lonely he’d felt without you.

slowly, the two of you swayed from side to side along to the song, just staring into each others eyes. clay sneaked a glance down at your lips, quickly averting his eyes again once you parted them.

“I’m really sorry we haven’t talked for so long,” you spoke, twirling a finger around one of his locks. “I miss it a lot. I missed you, clay.”

you stared at him with a look of guilt, biting down on your bottom lips once you'd finished your sentence. you looked down again, feeling sorry that you hadn't reached out to him before.

clay moved a hand to your cheek, tilting your head upwards so you'd look at him again. your eyes widened at the touch of his fingers, and you melted into his hand once his thumb bushed across the soft skin of your cheek.

“I missed you too, y/n. don't be sorry about that - I could’ve reached out too, y’know? we’re both guilty on that note. but, now that I can finally talk to you again, I don't wanna worry about the past, okay? I just want you to have a good night.”

you smiled softly at his words, feeling a wave of forgiveness wash over you. it felt good to know that you had your friend back again.

“I don't think my night can be ruined at this point,” you smiled, moving your hands from his nape to his shoulders instead.

“well, can I still make it a little bit better?” you raised an eyebrow at him, cocking your head to the side slightly.

his eyes fell down to look at your lips again, this time not being able to hold back from the temptation.

your lips attached to his.

and everything around you just stopped.

your eyes fluttered closed, leaning into the kiss once you realised what was happening, only making him pull you closer to him. his lips moved so gently, slowly against yours, a withheld desire finally being released.

who cared about the things that’d gotten in the way of your friendship? all that mattered right now was this very moment - that’s all that ever mattered.

“yes clay!”

“finally he fucking did it.”

the yelling coming from karl and nick from a distance away made the two of you break away from each other, turning your heads to the direction of them. george elbowed nick in the stomach to stop him from jumping into the air, revealing their spying spot.

you chuckled lightly at them, slowly turning your head back to clay with a lick of your lips. clay sent them a nice “fuck off” with his middle fingers, before also returning to the current situation and smiling at you widely.

“better now?”

you smiled wider at that. if only he knew.

______________________________________

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[happyreid187]

Flying high - Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Word count: 1K

warning/ an: none? Spencer x reader fluff featuring light flirting/ friend love from Emily. I’m making this she/ her pronouns just because Spence is jealous because of Emily x reader and Emily is a lesbian (fight me) so I went with bi fem energy. Big season 3 energy imo but not specified. Includes a line from an ATL song because I’m forever emo (spot it)

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“I - that’s my - what are you doing?” Spencer was immediately flustered. He always sat next to you on the plane. It was routine. It had been for months. What was Emily doing in his seat?

“What do you mean? I’m just sitting next to my friend” she replied innocently.

“Well, actually,” Spencer gulped. “That’s my spot.” he said matter of factly, gesturing from the seat to himself.  

“You don’t have exclusive rights to sit next to y/n. What if I want to nestle into her arms and get some good sleep? The rest of us like having our hair played with too.” She sang the last part a bit mockingly.

So she not only wanted to steal his seat, but his post case affection too? He felt like she was doing this just to upset him, but then again, you are the best plane buddy, and the most affectionate person on the team by far. It made sense that Emily, arguably your best friend, would want some closeness after a tough case. You being loving was in no way exclusive, and he had no right to try to keep it for himself. But there was something about the way she emphasized a desire to be physically close to you that rubbed him the wrong way. It felt like she was doing this on purpose to drive him insane, to embarrass him in front of the whole team. In front of you. He admitted that was less likely, but he still felt attacked. Regardless of Emily’s motive, jealousy welled in his chest, and he started to get antsy.

“Emily,” his voice rising in pitch now. “I don’t want to sit next to anyone else. I can’t sleep with, uh - I mean next to - anyone else. Oxytocin... ” he trailed off, having lost his train of thought, looking mortified. A blush rose in his cheeks, more so at the admission itself than the stumbling of words - at the shame of you knowing even a fraction of how much he needed you.

“Em, give Spencer his spot! You can crash at my place another time. He does have dibs.” you replied with a sweet smile. Spencer was intensely grateful that you came to his defense, feeling himself calm instantly, the discomfort in his chest waning.

“I never heard him call any dibs.” Emily retorted.

“I have a continuous dibs, everyone knows that!” he spat, the rage back as quickly as it had dissipated.

“Because it’s your spot?” Emily deadpanned.

“Because it’s my spot.” he replied with a shrug.

“Why is it your spot?” she teased.

Hotch started, “Emily, can you just keep the peace, he clearly can’t -”

Spence interrupted, ignoring Hotch entirely, “What do you mean? Why would you even ask me that? I always sit next to her!”

The puckish woman to your left paid no attention to Hotch, staring at her with his mouth pressed in a firm line, her amusement increasing with the annoyance now showing on your face.

“I honestly wasn’t trying to mess with you at first but now I have to ask. Whyyy do you always sit next to her?” she sat expectantly, while Spence stammered.

“Because... I - well, it’s just that... she’s my ... person!” The plane grew quiet, as the annoyance on your face slipped into a broad smile and Spencer buried his face in his hands.

“Or I mean, I don’t know. It’s nice to be close to her after a case. We all know she’s cozy. Leave me alone.” he brought his eyes up to Derek as he said it, predicting the ~ooooh~ just as it started.

“You need to move.” he demanded, eyes narrowed at Emily once again. She put up her hands in mock surrender, moving from the seat so he could collapse next to you, defeated.

“Oooh, pretty boy...” Derek started, but you shot him down immediately.

“Hey! Enough.” you pointed at him with a threatening glare “Knock it off.” You weren’t going to have the team mock Spencer for wanting to be close to you, for saying everything you wanted to hear. Even if it was platonic, which you didn’t want it to be, him valuing you, and verbalizing that value made you happy enough to melt away the post case angst. But your happiness was dampened by Spencer’s obvious embarrassment.

“Hey,” you whispered. “It’s your spot! This is our thing. I can’t sleep at all without you pressed up against me.” you mumbled before you could think better of it, like that wasn’t the most romantic thing you had said in your entire existence. He didn’t say anything - just moved in close. Usually his proximity on the plane just meant a head on your shoulder, but he now wrapped his arms around you and laid his head more on your chest than your shoulder, clinging close and snuggling in. One hand reflexively went to his hair, the other to his back where you rubbed small circles. Soothing him soothed you, and you felt yourself growing sleepy. You assumed he had drifted off to sleep along with the rest of the team, so the surprise of his soft voice made you jump.

“You’re the only person I like to have touch me.” he muttered quietly, his voice crackling. You just smiled in reply and pulled him closer. You already knew that, it was well established. He hated touch, you loved it, and he was mysteriously comfortable with it from you. You had never really questioned it - it took him long enough to warm up. You figured you just did something right with your patient approach. If anyone could get the man to appreciate physical touch, it would be you - it didn’t mean anything.

He looked up at you with his hazel eyes wide. Suddenly, you could feel the nervousness radiating from him. “Have you ever wondered why that is?”

“Because I’m cozy?” you questioned.

He let out a soft laugh at that. “You are, but that’s not the only reason. I mean I guess that’s one of the reasons for the reason, but...” he took a breath in. “The reason is that I like you.”

[ohmy-kiszka]

Decide On Us | Chapter Three

Song: Baby, I’m Yours - Barbara Lewis

Jake Kiszka x reader

Warnings: depression, toxic relationships, mentions of cheating, lots of feelings

2.5k words

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You got on the first flight back to Nashville the same day jake had lashed out at you. You didn’t bother to tell anyone else you were leaving, too hurt to even speak to anyone. As far as you were concerned, it was Jake’s responsibility to tell the rest.

You found your way back, stepping into the apartment you and Jake had shared for the last few months. Wondering through the halls as if you were a ghost. You decided you’d stay in that apartment, and move out just before Jake gets home from tour, giving you time to find a place to stay. The memories in this apartment haunted every ounce of your being.

With everyday that passed without contact from Jake, you felt the numbness slowly slip into your veins. You’d had your fair share of crying fits since you got home. Now you were just dull. Wanting any kind of escape you could get. You wish you could take back everything that had happened that night. Honestly you wished you could forget Jake ever existed, no matter how hard you tried to forget his presence, you just couldn’t. He was such a prominent being in your life. You couldn’t let that go.

Everyone always says “it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” But that was bullshit. You wish you could forget the beautiful times you’d shared with Jake and James. You would have been better off never meeting either of them.

It was your first day of middle school. That day is awkward for everyone, shit, the entirety of middle school is awkward for everyone. You walk through the double door to the school that was much more intimidating than your last. You also had to switch classes? That concept hadn’t been so clear to you, why couldn’t you just stay in one class all day? You get to your first class, US history, shaking with anxiety. Where do you sit? Well that decision wasn’t hard for you, there was only one seat open. You sit down right next to a kid, who didn’t utter a word to you, he just sat there, arms crossed, an emo haircut falling in his face as he blankly stared at his desk. The bell soon rung, every kid scrambling to get to class, thinking they had no time. You stumble up to your next class, math. This teacher had set everyone in assigned seats. You quickly take your seat, the desk next to you was empty, a sigh of relief coming from you. The sigh was quickly drawn back up into you as the same kid from your last class shifted into the desk next to you. Shit. As you made your way through the day you realize, through some twist of fate, the emo kid was in every. Single. Class. With you. Somehow winding up in the desk next to you every time. When the time of your last class, literature, came around you realize he’s once again sitting in the seat next to you, so you decide to speak up. “Hi I’m Y/N” you say waving your hand at him. You’d only said something to him because in all honesty, you had no friends in this school, all of your friends moved up to different schools, leaving you on your own to make new friends. “I’m Jake.” He says to you stumbling over his words. You giggle at him in return, making a slightly embarrassed look rub over his face, and a rosy shade brush over his cheeks. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh, here let me start over.” You say reaching your hand out for him to shake. “Hey I’m Y/N.” You start again. “Hi I’m Jake.” He says accepting your hand, the embarrassment of earlier washing away as he chuckles at your reiteration.

That was the first time you heard his sweet chuckle that’s always been music to your ears. A frown appearing on your lips as you recall that first day. You wish you’d never shaken his hand. Maybe things would’ve been different. Maybe you should’ve never even told him your name. You should’ve just sat in silence in your classes all year long. It was such a pure connection since day one, but now it’s tarnished. You both had ripped it to shreds.

It was hard for you to get out of bed everyday, in fact, for the most part you hadn’t gotten out of bed. You hadn’t showered in almost a week. You lazily looked for a place to move into before Jake came back, but everything fell through. It seemed you were unable to take care of any important tasks. You’d pray that anything, anyone, would save you from your suffocating loneliness.

It appeared your prayers were answered when you stare down at the contact popping up on your phone. It wasn’t Jake, the one you’d hoped to see, but it was James. Which was good enough at the moment. You hadn’t talked with him in what felt like forever, so you were very hesitant to answer the call. Why the fuck was he calling you? What could he possibly have to say to you after all this time?

You finally decide to answer, opening with a bitter remark. “What the fuck do you want James?” You let out. “Look Y/N I understand if you don’t want to be speaking with me right now. Shit I wouldn’t want to talk to you if you pulled the same shit I did. But I just wanted to tell you I’ve had some time to clean up and think about the situation, and if you’ll allow me to, I’d like to take you out to dinner sometime, and try to rekindle this relationship.” It seems like he gets that all out in one breath. Your end stays quiet for a few moments as you try to take in everything he’s said. “You can say no.” He says on the other end, defeat in his voice. “No it’s just, I’d- when are you free?” You finally let out, unsure of why you’d let him effect you like this. You should’ve said no. “Really?! I was thinking Friday?” He sounds so relieved, thinking you’re on board. Shit. Friday was in two short days. You didn’t think he’d want to so soon. Even when y’all were together, you’d have to give him a week or two notice or it just wouldn’t happen. Maybe he has changed. “Sounds good.” You breathe out flatly at him. “Great! See you then!” You quickly hang up the phone.

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You were dreading The fact that it was Friday now, and your mind was still wrapped around Jake. But you needed to forget about him if you were gonna make it through this date. It hadn’t fully kicked into you yet that this was a date. The thought of this being a date made you nauseous. You hadn’t seen James in a romantic way since you’d broken things off, you couldn’t see him that way, thinking about the woman he shared his love with. James said he’d pick you up at seven, you check your phone and it’s already six thirty. You’ve been putting off getting ready, because subconsciously you really don’t want this night to happen.

As you know you can’t stop the inevitable, you decide to force yourself into getting ready. You quickly throw on a bit of make up, brush your hair, and throw on a simple silk dress, your favorite dress to be exact. James didn’t even know how much you liked the dress, he barely even acknowledged it as you revealed it to him for the first time, only earning a small “yeah it looks good.” From him. Jake however knew how much your face lit up when you saw yourself in the dress. He’d always tell you to wear that dress when you were unsure of what to wear. He knew how confident and sexy it made you feel. He loved seeing you that way.

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James shot you the “I’m here.” Text as you found your way down to his car. Your stomach twisted up with anxiety. You seriously did not know what to expect from him. Surprisingly he met you at his car, opened the door ready for your entrance, something he never did, not even when you’d first starting dating. He brought you into a quick hug “hey” he says, smiling into the hug. “Hey!” You say as you prop yourself up in the car. A pink tint painted on your cheeks as he shuts the door, charmed by his actions. “That dress looks amazing on you.” He smirks at you as he jumps into his car.

You two finally make your way to a seat in the restaurant. It’s a place you’d been before, frequently. He always took you here when you were together. But you were okay with the routine because, well, the food is delicious. You both made small talk, just catching up as you ordered and waited on your food. Not wanting to be interrupted by the waitress when you get too deep in conversation.

A few moments after your food arrived he finally starts in on you. “So… I just really wanted to get you here with me so we could like, I don’t know, talk.” He slightly pouts to you as you twist some spaghetti around your fork. “Alright, you start. Tell me what you need to get out because honestly I’m so curious.” You say in a certain tone trying to make him feel guilty about the situation.

“I’m just gonna say it. I really miss you Y/N. I need you in my life.” He pleads. “And I understand if you don’t want me back, but I’m willing to try if you are. And I’d like for you to move back in with me.” He continues. “I know this is a lot so I wanna give you a few minutes to think about it.” He says as he noticed the surprise on your face, trying to take it all in. It’s much more than you’d gone into this night expecting him to say. Honestly you thought this night would just end up in sex and then the two of you would never speak again, which was fine, you’d just wanted to get out of the house. But this, this was serious. And you don’t know if it was the wine you’d been drinking settling in or if you just had no hope for the future unless it was with James, but you responded with “I’d like to try James, I’d like to move in. I miss you.” You honestly couldn’t believe you were hearing those words come out of your mouth. It was just so easy to run back to him without the steadiness of Jake in your life. After Jake had stopped wanting to be around you, James was the only comfortable presence in your life, since you’d been through so much with him. Why not go through more with him?

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After the confessions over dinner, you and James found your way back to his place, now laying in his bed. Wrapped up in the well known covers you’d bought for the bed when you guys first moved in together. Even though it would take a lot of work, you were excited to start fresh with him, especially after he’d treated you so much better tonight. But for some reason your brain made you shift to thoughts of Jake. You try to shake the thoughts of him out. For some reason you felt guilty. You felt Jake wouldn’t approve of this reconnection. But what do you care? He hasn’t spoken to you in almost a month. He’s history to you, or at least you’ve been gaslighting yourself into thinking he was history. “You okay?” James asks looking at you with a concerned look from his side of the bed. “Yeah I think I’m just tired.” You fake a yawn, he knew that whole sentence was a lie but he didn’t feel the need to pry. “Alright, get some rest love. See you in the morning.” He gently says to you, scooting closer to you, holding you close to him. You couldn’t help but think of the way Jake called you love. It had felt different when he said it. James’ warm body pressed against you quickly shook you out of your thoughts of Jake, for the most part. You had guiltily imagined it was Jake’s warm body flush against you. The thought of Jake soothing you into a good nights sleep.

You wake up bright and early, way before James would wake, so you made your way downstairs to make a cup of coffee. Something was so calm and familiar about this morning. It was such a soothing feeling. You smile into the sip of coffee you’d just taken. You get the sudden urge to call Jake. Just to let him know how good you’re doing without him. Not in a bitter way but a reassuring way.

The phone rang too many times for your comfort, so you quickly hang up before you can feel the rejection from him. You knew it was silly to react like that, he was probably busy or asleep, but you couldn’t help it. You lay your phone on the counter, turning your attention to the coffee that was getting cooler by the minute. Just a moment later you hear the familiar buzz of your phone. Could it be? You think to yourself, sure enough, it was Jake. You shakily answer, quickly losing the courage you showed earlier as you watch his contact light up the screen.

“Hello.” You squeak out, biting your tongue. “You called?” He says, god he sounds exhausted, poor baby. “Uh yeah I just wanted to uh check in.” You hum out. “Oh well I’m just peachy.” He says trying to be humorous. “Well that’s good.” You continue. “I just wanted to tell you that..” it’s hard for you to tell him like this, but you just decide to rip off the bandage. “James and I are back together, and I’m moving back in with him.” You say as quickly as possible. You hear Jake suck in a breath on the other end. “Oh.” Is all he can choke out. “Hey look I gotta go but I hope he treats you well.” He states hanging up the phone, you can tell he’s choking back tears.

A lump forms in your throat thinking about the way Jake reacted. You thought he’d give you more of a response. But he didn’t. Nothing seems to be going the right way lately, except for you and James. You step back into your shared room and notice James is propped up looking at his phone, then looking up at you as he notices you walking in. “You’re up early!” He says grinning up at you. You walk over to lay a sweet morning kiss on his lips. “I’ll always be yours. I love you.” You very randomly promise him, pulling back from the kiss. Trying to forget the tough conversation you’d just had with Jake. “Good because this time I’m doing it right. I’m not going anywhere. I love you.” He reassures you with a loving look. Secretly you pretend it’s Jake humming that out to you, imagining it was Jake’s lips you’d just kissed. 

A/N: the story can only go up from here, right?

Taglist ~ @jakesgrapejuice @theweightofjake

[drakenology]

I Hate Everything About You - Dabi

warnings: ANGST, smut, daddy kink, mentions of rape,violence, AND swearing (cause im a potty mouth)

author’s note: this lil story is inspired by my favorite song I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace. im a lil emo bitch ok? I recommend listening to the song to get a better perspective of how the emotions of the lyrics and the story goes hand in hand. the chorus goes like “I hate everything about you. why do i love you?” and I immediately thought of something angsty and raw to write. hope yall enjoy! this one might be a little long.

summary: You and Dabi have worked together as villians for as long as you can remember but you two don’t get along at all. is this truly hatred or is this repressed feelings coming to surface?

You hated heroism. You viewed it as weak and meaningless. When both of your parents were murdered by an anonymous killer and no one came to their rescue when they could very well have been saved, something dark took over your spirit. You snapped. At the tender age of 17, your parents did not receive justice for the act of violence committed against them. The police told you there “wasn’t enough evidence” and that the killer had most likely killed himself.

There were simply too many holes in the case for it to be solved. Obviously this infuriated you. So much in fact that you planned to blow up the entire police precinct.

And you did.

Now being on the run at only 17 you fell into a life of crime, committing yourself to being a villain who killed police officers off duty earning yourself the villain name “Cop Killer” from the authorities. Not to mention your very dangerous quirk called “Leech”. You were able drain anyone you gazed at of their blood, the gaze having to be completely focused on the person’s eyes. Once concentrated enough it becomes hard for the person to look away from you. To trigger your quirk, you have to say the word “leech” in order to essentially stop the flow of someone’s blood to their heart; their blood being extracted from their veins to yours. The blood only made your quirk stronger as you can now manipulate it and use it in combat. You had enough control to where you could take a little or take it all. The stolen blood was also good for increasing your stamina and speed for a short period, manifesting a weapon with the blood you stole and of course leeching the person of their blood entirely, instantly killing them. The murders you committed granted you the number one spot of Japan’s wanted list. You were also the youngest assasin in Japan at the time so you had to move around a lot. You spent your teenage years living in abandoned buildings and sketchy motels; robbing, stealing and of course murdering for survival.

The day you met the League of Villains was your 23rd birthday. As a treat to yourself, you had cornered one of the dirtiest cops you had ever encountered. He was a known sex trafficker, a thief as well as a disgusting rapist. You had him right where you wanted him; wearing a disguise to hide your true visage in order to avoid being recognized. You had pretended to be a love interest to the cop, sitting in the seedy hotel room he rented to have a little “privacy” with you.

“Oh baby, you don’t know what you do to me. I wanna see that pretty little mouth of yours around my cock. Get on your knees for me.” The police man said, the sleazy bastard unbuckling his belt. You nod, secretly being disgusted by this man. But you had to keep your cool. You got down on your knees and took his hard cock into your hands and pumped, looking him directly in the eyes as you did so.

“Yeah, baby. You’re so hot.” He groaned, keeping his eyes locked on yours almost instinctively as sweat collected on his brow.

“Thanks.. but your time’s up, you sick fuck.” you say, standing up on your feet. You straddle him, watching the cop’s eyes become terrified as he finally realizes who you really are.

“Leech.” You say as you watched your quirk take effect. The reaction was instant as he starts to gasp and grab at his heart, clinging onto his last minutes of life as he died on the hotel bed. You moan as his blood is transferred into yours, creating a dagger out of his blood. You slice his neck, licking whatever was left off of his cold throat. You laugh, searching his dead body to take whatever he had on his person; money, personal possessions and his gun. Just as you’re about to get up and leave you get the feeling that you aren’t alone. You turn and see none other than the villain you had seen all over local news.

Shigaraki. 

He chuckles dryly, admiring your work at killing the cop underneath you.

“Well done, little girl.” He said, peering over your shoulder to get a good look at the mess you made of him. You go to ask how the hell he got into the room until you hear the sound of police sirens blaring outside. 

“We have the entire hotel surrounded. There are Heros on the way to assist us. Surrender now or face the consequences.” You hear the cops say on a megaphone.

“Shit.” You mumble, quickly grabbing your things; planning your escape in your head.

“Listen, I’ve admired your work since your attack on that police station, Cop Killer.” Shigaraki said. “We could use someone like you in the League of Villains. My friend Kurogiri here can get us both out of here in one piece. But only with your consent of course.”

You think for a moment. You’d rather make a smooth escape than risk being arrested. So you agree. 

“We’ll explain everything once we get back to base.” Kurogiri says, morphing himself through the cracks of the door. 

Kurogiri takes both you and Shigaraki and consumed you both into his portals, leading you to the secret hide-out of the League of Villains. You look around, your vision a little hazy from being in the dark portal. You see a few other people standing in the lobby. A guy with a weird mask on with two sides on it eagerly introduced himself as Twice. You see a cute girl that looked a little young to be in a place like this. 

“Toga Himiko. Nice to meet ya. Hey, you’re way prettier in person. The police drawing of you is really unflattering.” She says, waving at you. You smile meekly as you turn away to see this guy standing at the corner of the bar. He had burn scars all over his face and neck, dark hair and the most mysterious eyes you’ve ever seen. You met his gaze when you noticed him staring at you, sizing you up. You found his stare threatening and kind of alluring. You almost couldn’t look away. 

“Don’t stare at me for too long, Cop Killer. I know what those eyes can do.” He said sarcastically, not even caring to introduce himself. He felt familiar, like you’ve known him for a long time. You rolled your eyes and walked over to Shigaraki. 

“Look, if you think just because you got me out of a tight spot that I’m just gonna beg to work for you, you’re wrong. I work alone.” You said, adjusting the top of your outfit. 

“I know. But today that changes. You see, we’ve been watching you, Cop Kill-” He says, interrupted by your loud groan.

“My name is Y/N. Please just call me by my name. My mother didn’t name me Cop Killer.” You demand, folding your arms in protest. 

“But that’s what you are, Y/N. Don’t be ashamed.” Shigaraki says, inching closer to you. “Look, the services of the League of Villains aren’t free. We helped you. Now you help us. You understand don’t you, Y/N?” 

You sigh, wishing you had just leapt out of a nearby window back at the hotel instead of taking help from this creep. 

“Fine.” You say, looking down at your shoes. 

“Wonderful.” Shigaraki says, walking away from you. “Oh and one more thing. I hate back talkers.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few months pass and you’re well acquainted with all the villains of the organization. You were all usually partnered up for missions; you always alternating between Toga and Dabi, who had finally told you his “name”. You grew to be pestered by Dabi. You’d much rather be paired up with Toga than Dabi any day since you and Dabi just could not get along, you both arguing like an old married couple at every mission. You couldn’t stand him. His cockiness, his elitist attitude, his aloofness. He hated you because of your attitude, you thinking you knew better than everyone else. He thought you were a spoiled brat who hasn’t done anything remarkable to even earn a spot in the League. To you, he was everything you despised about some men. 

One night you were all playing a friendly game of Blackjack; which seemed to be a ritual between the members. Shigaraki didn’t bother playing but Kurogiri always seemed to watch. 

“Ugh.. Fold. What do I have to do to get a decent fucking hand, huh?” Twice said, his two voices seeming to contrast in differing personality. You laugh, slamming down a perfect hand worth 21. 

“I stand, bitches.” You say, winning yet another round. 

“I’m bored.” Dabi says, standing up and leaving the table. 

“Oh don’t be like that, Dabi. Come back!” Toga says, throwing her cards down. She sighs and stands up from the table. “Well, I guess that’s it. I’m goin to bed. Nighty night, Y/N. Twice.” Everyone went their separate ways. You walk into your room and change into something more comfortable and walk outside to get some air. To your dismay, Dabi was already standing outside in the same spot you liked to chill and think. 

“Yo.” He says, referring to you. You roll your eyes and walk over to him. 

“What?” You say, annoyed to the point where you just want to turn around and go back inside. 

“Aw, what’s wrong, Cop Killer? Don’t like me?” He asks, inching closer to you to whisper in your ear. You stand still for a moment and lunge at him, grabbing his throat and pushing him against the wall. 

“Stop fucking testing me.” You say sternly, looking him deeply in the eyes with the intention to kill. 

“Careful, little girl. You might just turn me on.” He says, grabbing your arm and pushing you back. You freeze, stunned at the sudden harsh movement from the tall man in front of you. ”You’re 5′4′’, sweetheart. If I wanted to, I could end you without even using my quirk. You ‘oughta be nicer to me.” 

You get angrier by the second, yelling and screaming about how much you hate him all while trying to take jabs at him, throwing punches at his face. Dabi dodges every swing, smirking at your abilities. He was impressed, but he’d never tell you that. 

“Huh. Keep it up and you might actually hit me.” He teased, swinging back at you, landing right on your jaw. You stumble and collect yourself, charging towards him once more. You were certain you’d hit him, the blood from someone you’ve killed earlier that day increasing your speed. 

“Fuck you.” You hiss, taking another swing at him and connect, landing right on his cheek. He smirks, wiping blood from his mouth. You get cocky and go for another punch only for him to dodge you. He grabbed your arm and twisted it, pinning you against the brick wall in front of him with your back facing him. 

“When?” He asked in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You hated that he could so easily overpower you, making you despise him even more. He releases you from his grip and stands close to you; you feeling the warmth of his skin radiating from his body. 

“Listen. You hate me and quite frankly I can’t stand you either. But you don’t see me attacking you. Try it again and I won’t be so nice next time, little girl.” Dabi said, grabbing your face to daringly look into your poisonous eyes to mock your quirk. You focus, ready to end this asshole. Suddenly his lips crash into yours. At first, you’re disgusted and fucking pissed. But then you feel yourself start involuntarily melting into his kiss. So you kiss him back with no shame, all bitter feelings leaving your mind as the kiss gets more intense. You feel his hands groping and caressing your body, his hands exploring to stop at your neck; wrapping it around. You gasp, feeling yourself get hot. 

“The first time I saw you, I thought you were the hottest girl I’ve ever seen. And then you spoke. And I couldn’t stand you. But I couldn’t shake this feeling of wanting to bend you over and punish you for your slick mouth. You need a good hard dicking to keep your mouth shut and I’m the one to give it to you. That’s what you want too, isn’t it?” He asked, starting to kiss your neck harshly. You moan, embarrassed at his words. He was right. You found him attractive as soon as you saw him but his attitude rubbed you the wrong way. But right here and now, you realize that you might have been hiding your true feelings behind a façade of hatred. You wanted him too and you couldn’t stand it. 

“I’m talking to you, Y/N.” He persists, biting into your neck. You mewl, shocked at how good he was making you feel. You almost couldn’t believe you were in this situation. It was confusing but formalities could come later. You wanted him now. 

“Yes, Dabi. I wanted you to fuck me the first time I saw you.” You say quietly, feeling him reach under your shirt and bra to grab at your naked breast. You bit your lip, feeling slick pool between your legs as you fall victim to his touch. 

“Get inside and go in my room. I expect you to have nothing on when I get there. Understood?” He demands, pinching your nipple lightly. You gasp, nodding at his request. 

“Words. You’ve already made me angry with that stunt you pulled punching me in the face. I wouldn’t try me further.” He said, grabbing your hair and pulling it to expose more of your neck. You moan, unable to control yourself suddenly. It’s like he knew exactly what to do to turn you on. Fucking asshole.

“Y-Yes, daddy- I-I mean Dabi.” You flush. Damn. You couldn’t believe you let that slip. He laughs, kissing your lips once more as he lets you go. 

“Daddy works just fine.” Dabi says smirking, watching you stumble towards the door to go back inside. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You knew you should just go into your own room but, God you wanted to see what he’d do to you for almost punching him. You wondered how rough he’d be, your panties soaking at the thought as you gulp and open his room door. You sat on his bed and took off your clothes, leaving your underwear on to tease him. Suddenly his door opens and it’s him. He looked you up and down, loving what he saw. But to his dismay you had on too many clothes still. 

“I thought I told you to get naked, little girl.” Dabi said, pushing you onto his bed. He stood above you, running his fingers down your stomach and stopping at the waistband of your panties. You shudder at his cold fingers. 

“You never said naked.” You tease, looking back at him. He frowns, shaking his head. 

“Man, you just love pushing my buttons don’t you? You’re gonna regret teasing me so much.” He says, pulling your panties down roughly, holding them up to his face. He smirked at the wet spot he saw on them, throwing them onto the ground. “This is gonna be fun.”

You hiss as he slid one measly finger inside you while rubbing your bundle of nerves with his thumb, the single finger not being enough to satisfy your craving for that certain pleasurable stretch. Somehow though, Dabi was making you feel good with that one finger. You roll your hips for more friction only to have Dabi hold you down with his other hand. 

“Stop squirming so much. It makes you look desperate, doll.” He teased earning a whine from you. As if to be a little forgiving he adds another finger, watching your face twist up in pleasure. You were visually trying to hide your moans, Dabi not liking that at all. 

“Come on now. It’s no fun if you don’t scream for me. Let everyone here know how good I make you feel.” He said, halting his movements. You nod, moaning loudly as he adds a third finger. Any shame or embarrassment is gone as he worked you up to your first orgasm. You grab at his sheets, trying to move for more friction only to once more be overpowered by Dabi. 

“You don’t listen too well do you? I said stop squirming. You’ll have your fill but good girls wait to cum. Understand? I expect you to address me correctly this time.” He says, grabbing your face to make you look at him. Something about knowing you could kill him with your eyes turned him on, because he knew he could keep you from doing so. All he had to do was please you, knowing you won’t be able to focus on anything but screaming his name let alone his eyes. 

“Y-Yes daddy.” You mewl, your eyes rolling back as he pulled out one of your breasts, sucking on your nipple harshly. The sound of your moans was music to Dabi’s ears, the only thing he ever wanted to hear come out of your mouth. He cooed praises into your ear, telling you hot sexy you are and how et your pussy is just for him. He crawls on top of you, pulling his fingers out of you as you whine at the sudden loss. He kissed you, ripping your bra off. He sat up and stared at the gorgeous naked woman underneath him. 

“You’re so hot when you’re not talking shit.” He says, playing with your boobs. He was unsure of where to start. He wanted to please every inch of your lovely curves, his eyes drinking in your hips up to your beautiful breasts. He nearly drooled at the sight of them, your nipples seeming to perk up when he looked at them. You stare back at the man on top of you, his scars almost complimenting his skin as you watched him take off his shirt. You bit your lip as you feel a nice sized bulge grind up against your dripping core. You didn’t even notice that his pants were off, drooling at the sight of his body overpowering yours. He grinded up against you, leaning in close to your ear. 

“Ready to get fucked, sweetheart?” He asked, nibbling on your ear lobe. 

“Yes, god, yes!” You gasp, feeling him take off his boxers. He positioned his dick at your entrance, tapping it against you to tease you. You moan, going to grab his cock and shove it inside you but you think twice, already in trouble with him. Dabi smirks, excited to break you as he shoved himself inside you and started to rut his hips into you. You moan sinfully at the sudden stretch, loving how he filled you. You feel him speed up, not even fully adjusted to his length as you clawed at his back for dear life. 

“You’re takin me so well, doll.” He said, grabbing your neck to lightly choke you. Your eyes roll back as you reveal a sinful ahegao face while he pounds you senseless. You’re moaning his name and telling him how good he feels inside you, cussing and screaming into the air as you feel yourself coming close to cumming.

“C-Can I-?” You ask, unable to finish your sentence as you feel yourself clenching around him. Dabi is relentlessly prodding at your g-spot, causing you to see stars as he notices he’s hitting that special spot. He smirks and angles himself so that he’s repeatedly hitting that spot, watching you cover your mouth as you scream. He snatched your hand away from your mouth and pinned it above your head. 

“Tell me you’re sorry for punching me, kitten.” He demands, harshly pinching your nipples. You shake your head no to tease him. “No? Must need more convincing, huh brat?” He pulls out of you, you letting out a pathetic sob at the loss. He roughly flips you on your stomach and plants a hard smack on your ass. You yelp, your pussy aggravated as it throbs at the feeling of pleasure. He yanks you towards him and shoves himself back inside you, you laying flat on your stomach. You kick and scream under him, feeling him so deep it blinds you. 

“Oh my god, daddy!” You whine, shoving your face into your pillow as he assaults your g-spot. 

“Say it.” He demands, landing another hard smack on your ass this one sure to leave a mark. 

“I-I’m sorry! Fuck, I’m sorry!” You scream, desperate for release. 

“Good girl.” He hisses. Dabi grabs your hair and lifts your head off the pillow wanting to hear the last moans you can give before you cum. 

“Go ‘head and cum for me. You’ve earned it.” He says. And just like that you clench around him hard, your orgasm washing over your body as you cum all over his dick. He rides out your orgasm, only to continue pounding you earning a sharp yelp from you as you throw your head into the pillow again.

“You didn’t think it was over did you? That’s cute.” He said, taking you further. At this point you’re overstimulated, the pleasure almost painful as he worked you to another orgasm. 

“God, I love you!” You scream to his delight as you cum quicker than your mind can keep up. 

“I love you too. Even though you’re fucking annoying.” He hisses, unable to hold himself back anymore. He cums hot inside you, grunting as he slaps your ass one last time before pulling himself out. You moan softly, breathing heavily as he cleaned you up. He kissed up your body, you unable to move from being completely fucked out of your mind. 

“When you socked me, I knew you were a keeper.” He laughed. 

“Shut up.” You say, smiling into your pillow. 

“HEY, YOU TWO DONE IN THERE? YOU COULD HAVE WOKEN UP THE ENITRE CITY WITH ALL THAT RACKET!” Twice shouted through the walls, turning your face red with shame. 

“SHUT UP AND MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!” Dabi yelled back, rubbing soft circles on your ass to soothe his harsh marks on both cheeks. 

bitch i.. i’m sick.