I click on the John Constantine playlist I see the sex pistols I click off of the John Constantine playlist
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For the DC x DP server gift exchange!
Constantine has been taking care of dealing with a stray King of the dead for a while now
Please no reposts, referencing, reusing, or edits, please feel free to reblog ❤️ Click for best resolution!
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John Constantine in crossover comics: Badass cocky occult magician who about to trick God and the Devil.
John Constantine in his own comics: Weeping in the corner, trying to roll a magic blunt. (Just got back from tricking God and the Devil)
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nothing in my head except for thoughts of bruce and constantine co-parenting billy.
like it could very well be platonic co parents bruce and john, but i think it could be a very tense pining situation - but doesn’t matter, however you interpret it just imagine how funny the dynamics would be
john: well i saw him first
bruce drafting up adoption papers: too bad
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john: and if you trace this rune here you can summon trigon, although raven will get her knickers in a twist over it
bruce: no summoning powerful demon lords in the manor
billy: but bruceeeeee
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billy: dad
bruce and john: yes? [glaring at eachother appalled that the other thinks they have the right to think of themselves of billy’s father]
billy totally doing this on purpose with a shit eating grin: dad?
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teacher: so are you little billy’s father?
bruce and john simultaneously: yes
teacher: oh! just know we are a very accepting community and find your relationship heartwarming! now if you would head this way i believe billy drew a wonderful portrait of your massive families mr. wayne’s
bruce snaking a hand around john’s waist, grinding his teeth: of course, shall we dear?
john pinching bruce so hard he’s sure it draws blood: yes anything you say love
billy: aw man there goes my two christmases… :(
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billy: this is why i like dad’s better, at least he lets me summon supernatural kings from other dimensions
bruce in tears: you don’t mean that
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bruce: i’m not letting you keep a tiger at the manor
john: don’t be ass, let the boy have his talking tiger
bruce: oh well i don’t think you have a say in this mr. ‘soul tax evader’
john: oh fuck off you furry bat
billy: god, if you’re there, i really don’t wanna see them make out in front of me
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damian and billy playing a board game while gossiping:
billy: my dad and your dad wanna smash, don’t they?
damian sighing: unfortunately constantine’s… rugged look has enamored my father
billy:…
damian: …
billy: ten bucks says they ‘consummate’ their marriage by the end of the month
damian: hm, twenty dollars that by the end of this week they’ve had preformed coitus
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billy: i miss when you guys were at each others throats, no one wants to see you guys grope each other at breakfast
dick: i think it’s sweet
jason: they defiled the library, definitely not sweet dickhead, it’s practically child abuse to watch them basically on top of each other
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idk i think it’s a neat au, even if there’s no canon whatsoever to make this even sort of plausible in the slightest.
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