#High-Performance Computing Studies

[fdrpjournals]

The Indian Journal of Computer Science and Technology (INDJCST) is a peer-reviewed academic journal that delivers cutting-edge research and advancements in computer science to scientists, engineers, and technology professionals.

It highlights the latest findings across four key domains: computing (including theory, scientific, cloud, and high-performance computing), systems (such as database, real-time, and operating systems), intelligence (covering robotics, bioinformatics, and artificial intelligence), and applications (encompassing security, networking, software engineering, and more).

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

oh boy i wish i felt confident in the fact that i have a future!!!!!!

[spirefan]

Bring more than a lucky clover and horseshoe to the exam on this fine St. Patrick's Monday. Let's talk about the crucial competency skills one can hone and develop from high school and college exams and how good friends like Trevor Atkins and Isaac Barkley used these skills in strides:

[bloomzone]

STUDY SYSTEM : DAILY STUDY ROUTINE ( EXAM EDITION)

hii looves so this blog is all abt how to optimizing your day for peak academic performance. This four-part daily system is the exact routine used during exam season especially finals to consistently achieve top grades with minimal stress. While the routine may appear complex at first glance it is built upon simple, intuitive principles rooted in human biology and psychology. It is not only practical but highly effective when followed consistently. You’ll learn to structure your day around ur natural energy cycles, use tools to boost focus, and incorporate essential periods of rest and release to maintain motivation and productivity.

SECTION 1: UNDERSTANDING UR ENERGY RHYTHM

The routine is built around the concept of the circadian rhythm, your body’s natural energy cycle throughout the day. On a standard day for example :

Energy peaks shortly after waking typically around 6:00 AM.

Energy dips mid-afternoon often around 2:30 or 3:00 PM.

A secondary energy peak occurs in the evening approximately around 7:00 PM.

Energy tapers off as bedtime approaches.

This predictable fluctuation is key to optimizing your study schedule. The two energy peaks will be your core study sessions, while the dip will be used as a rest period, and the late-night wind-down becomes your release period or bedtime .

SECTION 2: THE MORNING STUDY SESSION (STUDY SESSION #1)

◜⁠✧ Start Within One Hour of Waking Up

Your goal is to begin studying as soon as possible after waking, ideally within the first hour. Use the high energy of the morning to tackle your most challenging subjects.do ur morning routine quick as possible don't do intense workout or stuff like this cuz u will waste ur energy so always have a specific morning routine for days like these ! And u can workout go to the gym or whatever at the rest period !

Pre-Study Essentials:

1. Set Your Daily Goals (5 minutes)

Before starting, sit with a notebook or your computer and write down what you intend to accomplish. Be specific. Define exact tasks e.g. which past papers you’ll solve, which topics to review so u will be more organized during the day

2. Activate Focus with Three Optional Tools:

Caffeine — coffee, yerba mate, or tea to boost dopamine and adrenaline.

Cold Showers — a physiological wake-up that increases alertness (personally I don't do that lmao but if u can that's good !)

Focus Warm-up (1–2 minutes) — pick a point in your environment and concentrate on it intensely. This warms up your cognitive focus system before you start.

◜⁠✧Deep Work Sprint Format

Commit to a 2–4 hour study block.

Use timed work intervals: e.g., 25–30 minutes of focused work followed by 5-minute breaks.

Use a visual timer to create urgency and focus. This serves as a “deadline generator,” helping you push harder and maintain hope by offering visible progress.

─ ⊹key principle: work Like a warrior

Study in focused sprints. The more intense your focus, the less time you’ll need to study. The idea is depth over duration not 12 hours of mediocre attention, but 2–4 hours of deep concentration.

SECTION 3: MIDDAY REST PERIOD

Timing: After First Study Block Ends (~Early Afternoon)

At this point in the day, your energy naturally dips. It’s essential to give yourself permission to rest. This period is not for distractions like Netflix, YouTube, or social media.

◜⁠✧ Approved Activities:

Exercise or light sports

Socializing with friends/family

Taking a walk, especially outdoors

Napping (ideal: 20 minutes)

The goal here is active recovery choose activities that contrast focused work. Avoid anything with dopamine stimulation that mimics your “vices” or release behaviors.so this break allows your mind to reset, preventing burnout and increasing productivity in the next session.

SECTION 4: EVENING STUDY SESSION (STUDY SESSION #2)

Timing: During the Second Energy Peak (~6:00–8:00 PM)

Return for your second battle. This session is similar in structure to the morning study session, but with a few differences:

◜⁠✧ Change Your Environment:

Consider studying in a different location e.g., library, a new room, or another productive setting. (Personally I move from my desk to the guest room cuz it's far from family chaotic activities ifykyk )

This provides novelty and reduces boredom, which helps counteract distractions that are more likely to arise in the evening.

◜⁠✧ Eliminate Distractions:

If possible, leave your phone behind take that shit in another room

Create a space where your brain associates the environment with productivity.

◜⁠✧ Study Format:

Continue using timed sprints.

Session length: 2 to 3 hours, depending on your focus reserves.

The goal is to extract one final productive effort from your remaining focus reserves for the day.

SECTION 5: NIGHTLY RELEASE PERIOD

Timing: 1–2 Hours Before Bed

This period is crucial and often overlooked. It functions as your psychological release valve a scheduled time for indulging in your “vices” or desires.

◜⁠✧ why it matter

Without a controlled release period, distractions tend to creep in throughout the day. When you tell yourself you’ll “resist” TikTok or YouTube for three straight weeks during exams, it almost always backfires. You end up scattering distractions across the day, killing momentum and u will feel like shit

◜⁠✧ so solution:

Contain those activities to this specific window. Give yourself full permission to indulge whether it's gaming, scrolling, or Netflix. The only rule: Only do it at night.

◜⁠✧ psychological benefit:

You’ll find it easier to say “no” to distractions earlier in the day when you know you can give in later. It reduces the mental burden of constant suppression.

Caution:

This is not a prescription to develop new addictions or deepen existing ones. If you don’t feel the need for this release, skip it . But if you’re honest with yourself about your impulses, this structure helps you keep them in check.

◜⁠✧ ADAPTATION AND FLEXIBILITY

✧ Everyone has a unique biology. Some wake up at 5:00 AM, others at noon.

✧ Adjust the energy curve and study blocks to match your personal circadian rhythm.

✧ This is a template, not a strict prescription. Principles stay constant, execution varies.

KEY TAKEAWAYS:

🗝️ Two deep-focus sessions aligned with your body’s energy peaks yield greater results than dragging your mind across a 12-hour marathon.

🗝️ Midday rest and nightly release are components of a sustainable routine.

🗝️ Use tools like caffeine, timers, environment changes, and goal setting to maintain momentum and focus.

🗝️ Structure breeds freedom. When your day is mapped with intention, your brain is free to focus trust me with this one

✧ This daily routine is not about rigid hours or perfection. It’s about aligning your habits with your biology and respecting your mental bandwidth. When implemented consistently, this system transforms exam season from a stressful grind into an enjoyable and productive challenge.Now take what you've learned and design your daily routine with intention ✧

@bloomzone

[creacherkeeper]

the reliance of college students on gen ai thing is particularly crazy to me as a college writing instructor whos also about to finish an educational psychology certificate because like one huge thing ive learned in my classes is that the american college system is pretty dogshit at teaching students when it comes both to content mastery and also preparing them for the workforce. like these kids are graduating college and going into jobs that they have their degrees in and dont know how to thrive in the workforce and Also dont really know much about the thing they got their degree in. and theres a lot of reasons for that that i could go over in depth but i'll spare yall

BUT the thing that college is like the most decent at is changing the way people think about knowledge itself. further education (high school to undergrad to graduate school) is a huge factor in what develops your epistemological beliefs (epistemology being the nature and theories of knowledge). like your epistemology does naturally change as you get older, but with further education you learn that knowledge itself is complex, ever changing, and interrelated, meaning you inherently trust "facts" less and actually perform critical thinking when presented with new information

but,,,,,, with that new study microsoft did on generative ai showing that usage of gen ai in the workplace can lead to the degradation of independent problem solving skills and that people who trust gen ai actively use less critical thinking to do tasks,,, and that giving yourself fewer opportunities for critical thinking degrades your ability to think critically at all even when it comes to important tasks,,,

like. all these students are using gen ai and sometimes their classes are actively encouraging them to use gen ai and i fear were losing like the one big thing american undergrad is good for bc lets be real its pretty dogshit at everything else

and considering the nature of the topic:

Bransford, J. D., Brown, A. L., Anderson, J. R., Gelman, R., Glaser, R., Greenough, W. T., Ladson-Billings, G., Means, B. M., Mestre, J. P., Nathan, L., Pea, R. D., Peterson, P. L., Rogoff, B., Romberg, T. A., & Wineburg, S. S. (2000). How people learn: Brain, mind, experience, and school. National Academy Press. (pp. 31-50) Lee, H.P., Sarkar, A., Tankelevitch,L. Drosos, I., Rintel, S., Banks, R., & Wilson, N. (2025). The impact of generative AI on critical thinking: Self-reported reductions in cognitive effort and confidence effects from a survey of knowledge workers. CHI Conference in on Human Factors in Computing Systems. https://doi.org/10.1145/3706598.3713778 Mezirow, J. (2000). Learning to think like an adult: Core concepts of transformation theory. In J. Mezirow (Ed.), Learning as transformation: Critical perspectives on a theory in progress (pp. 3-34). Jossey-Bass. Svinicki, M. D. (2004). Learning and motivation in the postsecondary classroom. Boston: Anker Publishing Company, Inc. Torff, B., & Sternberg, R. J. (1998). Changing mind, changing world: Practical intelligence and tacit knowledge in adult learning. In M. C. Smith & T. Pourchot (Eds.), Adult learning and development: Perspectives from educational psychology (pp. 109-126). Lawrence Erlbaum

[withwritersblock]

Caffeine

~Caffeine by Jack Kays~

Author's Note: Fun fact I saw Jack Kays in concert and he played this song for the first time at my concert before it was released. Almost sobbed when I heard it. As always italics are flashbacks Summary: Luke Hughes proposes to Y/N Warnings: idk? Word Count: 2,038 Luke Hughes x fm!reader

The ring has been in his pocket for nine weeks. He’s taken it with him on away games and carried it with him wherever he went in case he wanted to ask. Despite having a specific plan to ask her at his lake house. It wasn’t because it was a special place in his heart, it was because of how gorgeous the place looked during sunsets and sunrises.

When she’s visiting with them in Michigan it was one of their favorite activities to sit on the roof and watch the sun rise. They never really got a lot of sleep while they were there, so they’d watch the sunset while on the boat with his family and friends. 

Tonight was no different as they were all on the boat together watching the orange light up the sky and blend into the beautiful lake. Quinn and Jack were cracking jokes as Y/N was laying in Luke’s lap as he ran his fingers through her hair. The ring box was back in his room in the lake house. It wasn’t the right time, except right now, there was no right time. Nothing felt perfect. 

Leaning his head down, he brought his lips close to her ear, “Hey,” he whispered. She tilted her head back, meeting his gaze. “Are you tired?” he asked as he brushed a few pieces of hair away from her face. She hummed as a reply as she tucked her head back against his chest.

“Take a nap,” he mumbled as he pressed his lips to the top of her head. She took a deep breath as he continued running his fingers through her hair soothingly. 

During his study hall, students in his high school were allowed to roam the school. They had a little freedom on where they wanted to do their assignments. Luke’s favorite spot was the auditorium where the theater performances were held. 

It was always extra quiet, dark, and he was always alone. Until one random Tuesday his sophomore year of high school where he was sitting on the floor all the way in the back.

He was typing up his essay about The Great Gatsby when he heard a voice singing. He lifted his gaze up to see the gorgeous girl pacing the stage and singing a song he didn’t know. It was a song from a musical, he concluded by the way her voice hit the notes. 

She wasn’t trying, he could tell but the way her voice was so effortlessly beautiful had his heart beating fast. He delicately placed his computer beside him as he slowly stood up. He didn’t recognize her, he knew everyone in the school. Or so he thought because he’s never seen her before.

She continued to sing as she was walking off of the stage until she lifted her gaze from the floor to see Luke.  She screamed as she slammed her hand against her chest. “Oh my god! What the hell are you doing!?” she shouted as her heart began racing fast.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, oh my-I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you!” he let out panickedly as her scream nearly made him collapse. “I didn’t know you were in here,” he mumbled. 

“What the hell were you doing sitting on the floor!?” she shouted as she brushed her hair away from her face. She took a deep breath.

“I spend my study hall here! No one is normally in here. I’m sorry,” he let out as he met her gaze, it was dark but her eyes were shining brightly.

She took a hesitant breath as she dropped her hand from her chest, “I spend my study hall in here too, I didn’t know someone else was in here,” she mumbled. He furrowed his eyebrows as he tilted his head to the side.

“Wait, so you’ve been in here all year?” Luke questioned and she nodded slowly. “Well this is awkward,” he mumbled.

“I rehearse here all of the time, how did you not know I was here?” she asked suspiciously. 

“I normally wear my headphones at full blast but I forgot them in my brother’s car this morning,” he mumbled as he smiled softly.

Luke was standing in his room, staring at the ring box in his hand. He spent every day staring at the ring trying to picture it on her hand. He always went back and forth if the ring was the right one.

Ellen knocked on his door, he quickly shoved the ring box into his pocket as she pushed the door open. “Hi honey,” she mumbled as she stepped inside, Luke took in a sharp breath as he pulled the box back out of his pocket. 

He flipped the box open again to stare at it. He slowly sat down on the bed as she sat down beside him. “It’s beautiful, Luke, stop overthinking it,” she mumbled as she stared towards his features. He pulled his lips between his teeth as he met his mother’s gaze.

“What if she says no?” he asked barely above a whisper. 

Ellen pulled her head back as she shook her head, “She won’t,”

“You don’t know that, there’s always a chance she will say no,” he countered as he looked back towards the ring.

“She loves you,” she mumbled as she wrapped her arm around his back pulling her youngest son into a side hug. “And you love her, all you have to do is ask.”

“That’s easier said than done,” he let out with a chuckle. After a few moments of silence he asks, “Do you think we’re too young? Like, is it too early to ask?” 

Ellen paused for a few moments as she took a deep breath, “You’ve been together for over five years, that’s long enough to know if you want to marry someone. Just because you are twenty years old doesn’t mean you don’t know what love means. You’ve spent five years loving the same girl, that shows that you are mature enough to want to ask the question.” 

He smiled as he met his mom’s gaze as he nodded slightly, “I knew I wanted to marry her the first time I met her,” he let out as he pressed his lips together, “I don’t think I ever told you that,” he mumbled.

“No, no you didn’t,” she let out as she rested her head on his shoulder, “I’m proud of you,” she mumbled. He smiled softly as he took a deep breath in.

She was standing at her locker, swapping out her textbooks when Luke came up behind her and leaned against the locket beside her. She jumped as she placed her hand against her chest, “Why do you always feel the need to scare me?” she asked while laughing, she slammed the locker shut as they began walking towards the theater together.

She rehearses for her choir and musical performances while he sits and studies for his exams. He shrugged his shoulders as he tightened his backpack. He bit his bottom lip as he fought off the smile on his lips. “What are you thinking, Luke?” she asked as she licked her lips nervously. 

“There’s that ice cream place a few streets away from school, I was wondering if you wanted to go after school,” he asked shyly. She squinted her eyes towards him and smiled widely.

“Are you asking me out?” she questioned, already knowing the answer based on the redness of his cheeks.

“Yeah, to ice cream,” he mumbled as he pushed the door open to the theater, letting her walk in first. “Where some people may consider it a date,” he muttered. 

“Oh and are you considered some people because I’m some people,” she teased as she leaned her body against the brick wall beside them. He smirked as he glanced towards her lips. 

“Oh I’m definitely some people,” he said as he took a step towards her, his gaze lingering on her lips. He thought about kissing her like he’s wanted to since the first time he met her. 

She leaned towards him kissing him urgently, it was her first kiss ever. He quickly reciprocated the kiss, pushing her against the wall. He pulled away as he rested his forehead against hers, “Wow,” he mumbled as his heart was racing. His mind was in shambles as she was only an inch away from him.

It was six in the morning, the sky was slowly becoming more blue as the hues of orange were still vibrant in the sky. It was cold enough for them to wear hoodies, an easy way for him to hide the ring in his pocket. 

The words were circulating his mind as if he was running seven miles on six hundred miligrams of caffeine. His heart slapping hard against his chest, his head aching as his hands were shaking. He was terrified she would say no. But he knew she had absolutely no reason to. She wouldn’t have been with him for as long as she was if she didn’t want to marry him. He knew that.

Her head rested on his chest as he was tightening his grip around the little box in his pocket. He tilted his head to the side pressing his lips to the top of her head. She hummed against his chest as she ran her hand along his chest. 

“I love the city but nothing beats this,” she mumbled as her gaze admired the ripples in the water as the orange casted a gorgeous view against the water. He took a deep breath as he slowly forced her to sit up with him. 

She furrowed her eyebrows as she brushed her hair away from her face as she looked towards Luke. He put both of his hands into his pocket, fiddling with the box as he looked deeply into her sleepy eyes

“Did I ever tell you that the second I heard your voice, I knew you were going to be the love of my life?” he asked. 

Her lips curled upward slightly as she titled her head to the side. “No you haven’t,” she mumbled.

He took another deep breath as he dropped his gaze towards his lap, “I’ve tried finding the right words and how to perfectly say this but I don’t think there is a perfect way,” he paused. 

“I know we’re young and can’t even legally drink yet,” he chuckled, “I mean you moved to Jersey with me without giving it a second thought. That made me realize how all in you were with me. I’ve spent five years in love with you,” he met her gaze and saw the tears forming in her eyes, her smile was wide, “I know we’re young and people are going to have their opinions but-” he pulled the box from his pocket, opened it and showed it to her, “Will you marry me?”

“Yes, yes-” she let out excitedly as she lunged towards him wrapping him in a hug, he collapsed on his back. He laughed as he shut the box, securing the ring, as he tightly wrapped his arms around the center of her back. He squeezed her tightly to his chest. “I’m so in love with you,” she whispered in his ear before she leaned towards him, kissing him softly. 

“I was worried you were going to say no,” he mumbled as she pulled away, she shook her head dramatically. 

“There is not a single part of me that doesn’t want to marry you,” she let out before she kissed him again. He delicately placed the ring box into his pocket before he rested his hands onto her hips. “Put the ring on my finger,” she mumbled as she sat up, straddling his body. 

He excitedly reached into his pocket again to pull the box out. He pulled the ring from the holder and took a hold of her left hand. He slowly slid the ring on and it fit perfectly. She stared at it and started tearing up again. “It’s so beautiful,” she mumbled. He hummed as he stared towards her admiring her frame as the sunrise was behind her, illimuting her already gorgeous frame.

[squoxle]

✏ TNAIT 001: If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em l.at fanfic

✰ pairing: nerdy!bandboy!anton x cheerleader!fem!reader | ✰ wc: 2.1k | ✰ cw: profanity, sexual themes |✰ plot: after receiving your midterm report, your parents threaten to pull you off the cheer squad if you don't pull your grades up. so, you take the advice of your best friend to seek help. [Series Masterlist]

“If I don’t see those grades going up soon, you’re done with cheerleading,” your dad spat at the dinner table.

“But my team needs me,” you whined. “I can’t leave in the middle of cheer season.”

“Do I look like I care about any of that?” He sneered. “This is an all-A’s family. And your grades are embarrassing,” he continued as he pulled out your midterm report. “Not a single A. And the worst part is that you’re failing math.”

“But that professor is a complete jerk.”

“I hardly ever see you studying. You go to class, come home, play your phone, and goof off with your friends. This university is very expensive and I will not continue funding your education if you’re gonna perform like this. School is about more than cheer.”

“But—”

“No buts. I don’t want to hear another word. Fix it or you’re done,” he said cutting into his steak.

“Listen to your father, honey. It’s very important that you maintain a good academic standing so you can get into a nice law school. Both your father and I graduated with a very high GPA—”

“3.75 and higher,” your father budded in.

“Exactly, so if you need a tutor—”

“I’m not stupid. I can do it by myself,” you mumbled. Even though you desperately wanted the help you knew this was a trap. Your father would not be happy if you were willing to give up that quickly.

“Ok,” your mother nodded. “But remember if you need the help it’s available for you.”

Being honest with yourself, you didn't want to go to law school and be a lawyer anyways. But you knew that your parents weren't going to let you graduate with a career as a cheerleader. They wanted you to have a real profession and since you couldn't pick fast enough, your father chose for you.

A job that was perfect for a sophisticated young woman and possibly a way for you to meet a good husband, or at least that's what your parents were telling you.

You finished dinner and went to bed. But not without logging onto your computer and checking your grades for each course.

• Politics — 79.47% • English — 82.97% • Math — 68.12% • Geography — 75.83%

"There's no way in hell I'm gonna be able to bring these grades up in time," you groaned as you closed your laptop and collapsed into your pillow.

"Is it just me or do you feel like cheerleaders are basically strippers in training," Chanyoung said as he opened his locker.

"Nah, they definitely are. Just think about it. They flip around and shake their asses in skirts so short that a small breeze will be enough to expose everything underneath," Dongmin replied as he leaned against the locker beside Chanyoung. "I'm not complaining, I'm just saying," he mumbled.

"No, you're right. And from what I can see is that the majority of them are brainless bimbos who've most likely sucked their way through school," Chanyoung said pulling out a few tablets to shove into his backpack.

"I bet you'd love to have some brainless bimbo suck you off," Dongmin chuckled. "You can't even lie and say that you wouldn't take the chance if it was given to you."

"I mean..."

"Exactly. I'm not calling you a hypocrite or anything, I just want you to be real with yourself," Dongmin said as Chanyoung zipped up his backpack, lugging it on his back. "Hell, I wouldn't even pass up an offer like that," he added, slightly bumping Chanyoung's shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess," Chanyoung shrugged.

"Anyways, I gotta go. I'll catch ya later tonight at the game, alright? Our usual spot," Dongmin nodded before walking off, leaving Chanyoung behind.

"Alright, see ya," he waved gently before walking down the hall.

Chanyoung wasn't entirely wrong, you knew a couple girls on the squad who did a few "extra credit assignments." After hearing about your situation one of the girls even offered to hook you up with the guy that helped her.

"Honestly, it sounds worse than it really is," Abigail said, her blonde hair falling in her face as she tied her shoelaces. "Having some pervy nerd pull up your grades is easy. Trust me, my grades were even worse than yours. And now I have a 3.5 GPA and nothing lower than a B on my transcript," she smiled before standing up to walk over to the mirror, adjusting her uniform.

"Yeah, but wouldn't it be weird if we use the same guy?" You asked.

"Hmm, I mean...I don't think so. Xoey and I had a threesome with him and he loved it. We also got a perfect 100 on our group presentation without editing a single slide," she beamed.

You bit your lower lip, considering the tempting option that had been placed before you.

"Look, if you don't want to get help from Jake, then you can find your own unsuspecting nerd who's willing to help you out in exchange for some action," she smirked, clipping a bow in her hair.

"Guys! What the hell are you still doing in here?" your brown-skinned cheermate, Nova, spat while waving her pom-poms around as she spoke. "You need to get on the field right now! Coach is already pissed," she said, her curly hair bouncing as she jogged away.

"Coming!" Abigail shouted. "We'll talk about this after the game okay," she said, shaking your shoulder before the two of you ran out together.

You met the sharp green eyes of Coach Sam, who looked about as pissed off as you expected her to be. "If you hadn't noticed by the raging crowd behind these doors, we have a big game tonight ladies! Remember your timing! Watch your step! And please, for the love of god, don't fuck this up!" she shouted before placing her black cap on, covering her shaggy dark brown hair.

She blew the whistle, signaling you all to do your signature walk out onto the field to open the game. You just tried your best to focus as you did the first cheer of the game. After you finished, you and the rest of your squad sat down on the benches.

"Abigail. ____," Coach Sam said tapping your shoulders.

"Yes, Coach?"

"If either of you pull some shit like that again you'll be running laps from sun-up to sun-down. Understand?"

"Yes, Coach," you answered in unison.

This game was important for three reasons.

1. If your university won, that meant you were going out of state for the next game.

2. There were cheer scouters watching tonight and the possibility of being picked increased with your performance.

3. This could be one of your last games if you can't figure out what to do about your grades.

"There's no A in cheer," your father's words echoed in your head.

"But there is in cheat," you thought to yourself.

As much as you didn't want to, you took Abigail's advice and scoped the bleachers for the perfect target. Dorky, lonely, and horny...but most importantly, smart.

Chanyoung and Dongmin sat at the very top row of the second tier, in the seats farthest to the left. You set your eyes on the dark-haired boy and his friend.

Curious to know who they were, you whispered to your cheermate Janice, asking if she recognized him. She knew almost everybody, especially since her dad was the dean of the university.

So it was no surprise that she was also head cheerleader and you were sure she had already secured a spot on a professional football team after college. That’s just how her family operated. Paying their way through life.

“Oh, that’s Lee Chanyoung and Han Dongmin, they're both a part of the university's orchestra. You'll usually see them hanging out together. Literally, like all the time."

Introducing New Target: Lee Chanyoung. Age 20. Perfectly talented brainbot. Not only was he in a highly desired honors society, but he was also a part of the college's orchestra.

You nearly smacked yourself in the face as you thought back to the first week of uni and how you were forced to attend the opening recital with your parents. "Classical music is a good way to lighten your mood and increase productivity,” your father said as you sat sandwiched between him and your mother.

Sometimes you hated the amount of pressure your parents put on you to be perfect. Unrealistic expectations that they couldn’t even meet themselves…at least not without pulling their hair out.

You were trying to find a balance between school and life. Yes, school could prove to be very beneficial for you in the future and a great investment, but you didn’t want to let life pass you by while you had your nose shoved 16 chapters deep in a textbook.

After Janice finished reciting what sounded like their admissions speech, you waited until the game was over to put your plan into action.

You texted Abigail to let her know that you’d be looking for a study partner tonight so she wouldn’t worry about where you were. But she told you to make it quick. She promised to wait around to take you home that way you had an alibi for staying out late.

The stands were clearing out as the game came to an end and you ran across the field to catch up with Chanyoung and Dongmin, throwing your bag over your shoulder.

"Hey!" you called out, hoping they'd hear you.

If they did...great, you could move on to step two, but if they didn't you would die of embarrassment.

"Uhh, are you talking to us?" Dongmin asked, turning around and tilting his head as Chanyoung paused beside him.

"Yeah," you said shyly.

"Oh my god. I can't believe I'm actually crumbling right now," you thought to yourself.

"Umm...well I know we don't really know each other, but I need some help," you tried your best to be confident, but you couldn't shake the fact that this felt like downright prostitution. "It'll just be for a couple of weeks to help me pull up my grades."

"Uhh--"

"I'll pay you for it," you spat. Maybe there was a way to get some assistance without having to degrade yourself--no shame to Abby. She did what she thought was right.

"Well, as much as I'd love to help you, I'm already swamped," Dongmin shrugged before a mischievous smirk crept across his face. "But my buddy Chanyoung is more than available."

"I am?" Chanyoung said, eyes widening in shock. That was the first time you heard his quiet voice since you came over.

"Of course you are," he winked, patting his friend on the shoulder. "He's been telling me all about how easy this semester has been on him and that he has way too much free time and nothing to do with it."

"Really?!" you asked, surprised everything was going so smoothly. Maybe you would be able to pick up your grades without having to lose your dignity after all.

"Oh yeah. Trust me," Dongmin smiled. "He can help you out with your little...issue."

Okay...this Dongmin guy was acting a little suspicious, but you needed all the help you could get. Beggars can't be choosers, right?

"Okay," you said pulling your phone out of the side pocket of your bag. "Let me just give you both my number so that we can keep in touch. I really appreciate your help," you unlocked your phone before opening your contacts.

Dongmin put in both of their numbers while Chanyoung stood beside him not saying a word. "There ya go," Dongmin smiled handing you back your phone.

"Thank you so much," you smiled. "Can I meet up with you tomorrow?"

"T-tomorrow?" Chanyoung stuttered.

"Umm yeah. I want to get started as soon as possible...if that's okay."

"Oh, yeah of course. That's fine. He'll meet you tomorrow in the library," Dongmin reassured you, wrapping his arm around his friend.

“That’s great,” you smiled. “Will you be there too?”

“Me? Oh no, like I said before, this is all my buddy Channie. He’s got nothing better to do than help a friend…well a new friend,” something about the cheesy grin plastered across his face was unsettling, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

“Okay that’s fine. Just text me what times you’re available tomorrow and I’ll meet you then,” you smiled.

“____! Girl come on let’s go!” Abby shouted from across the field. You saw her from a distance, checking her pretend watch, taping her foot.

“Sorry guys, I gotta go now. See ya,” you waved before joining Abby.

You hopped into her bright yellow convertible, leaving the boys behind on the field.

Everything was looking great for you. You had a study date planned with a total book nerd. Hopefully, he will be a little less shy tomorrow, otherwise, you didn’t expect to make much progress.

Thanks for reading the first episode of my series. [Series Masterlist]

Click this link to go to my main masterlist and stay tuned for the next episodes.

CURRENT TAGLIST: @chlorinecake @addictedtohobi @nikisvanillaccola @laylasbunbunny @urfavberry @antonitty @billiondollarworth @meowbini @mamuljji @riizeis-7 @littlebrightsrar @jisfairy @galorehearts @misfit-nvrfitin @siuewnb @ot7sevenlvr @earth2hannah @professsionalsimp @fairyofhours @wonbinkisser @lovelymulti @annielovescry @antosaurius @inlovekyo @luv4stxrs @v4mpsunghoon @rikiiminaj @brachiobun @pointlessapple @antititititoni @mrkvrse @ywnzn @kisplayhouse @strawberryhillsworld @cartimitsuya @jungwon15 @hanni711 @tsukkiteamo @hajoon-iz-won @songgmingii @bloodiichainzzxx @sunnynearthecoast @riris-a-mess @deewly @ericlvr @freeluvbot @pandajihoonn @mint-yooniverse @pwarksasteroid @huan9jun @zixoxos @snowyseungs @mintmyg @moonchild-please-dont-cry @taeheartss @seesawh @chloelr60 @dodot04lover @firedalarm-blog @kazscara

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Do you have any tips writing a character with technophobia?

Writing Notes: Technophobia

Technophobia - fear of technology

Many individuals fear technological devices in modern society.

For example, some individuals look with fear upon computers, highly technical telephone answering systems, and even videocassette recorders.

Some individuals become very anxious when faced with a set of instructions that are supposed to be easy for the average individual to follow.

Another aspect of technophobia is the fear that machines will be able to do what people do now.

Fear of robots is part of this fear.

Mechanophobia - fear of machinery; somewhat related to fears of technical things, such as computers.

Prosophobia - fear of progress; may be related to fears of novelty, newness, and innovation, and to technophobia and computer phobia.

Cyberphobia - fear of computers, computerization, or things related to computers; involves fear, distrust, or hatred of computers.

However, some experts, such as Mark Kenwright and Isaac Marks, M.D., have used computers to help individuals become desensitized from the things they fear, as discussed in the British Journal of Psychiatry in 2004.

In this study, experts used computer-aided help over the Internet with 10 patients with phobia and panic. (The study is small and larger studies should be performed in the future.)

The patients improved significantly at a one-month follow-up, and their gains were clinically significant. Kenwright and his colleagues said the Internet users were generally satisfied, although 3 of them said they would have preferred face-to-face help.

Said Kenwright et al., “Computer-aided self-exposure guidance using the internet [sic] at home, with brief advice from a clinician on a live helpline, may help some people with phobia or panic disorders to overcome barriers to treatment such as the scarcity of qualified therapists and having to travel to see the therapist in person.”

Obviously those who are computer-phobic could not use the Internet to deal with their phobias. Some individuals who are faced with the need to learn to use computers or to learn new programs on their computers will show symptoms of classic phobia, such as:

nausea,

dizziness,

cold sweat, and

high blood pressure.

Many computer phobics hide their fears because of heavy work and peer pressure to make efficient use of computers.

Individuals who fear computers can overcome their phobia by gradually exposing themselves to electronic calculators, games, and eventually to simple computer programs.

Coaching and feedback (from an expert) are good ways to improve the learning curve for mastering electronic devices.

Technophobia Trope

Characters or groups who are afraid of technology and the evils that can arise from their use.

Covers technology in general as the primary motivator.

Sometimes this arises from an event that happened in a person or nation's past, but often is just a result of fear of the unknown.

Sometimes, these individuals or groups are concerned for the future if these advances go unchecked.

This trope can also be brought on as a result of religious teachings or as a result of a dichotomy such as Magic vs Technology (e.g., The Darksword Trilogy) or Nature vs Technology (e.g., FernGully: The Last Rainforest or Avatar).

Evil Luddite is an extreme example of this trope. This is a lot milder and often applies to some of the protagonists to create tension. Can be related to New Technology Is Evil and Science Is Bad tropes.

Aversion of a specific type of technology (such as Doesn't Like Guns) might be Sub-Tropes. Technologically Blind Elders is a subtrope.

Examples:

The Twilight Zone (1959): In "A Thing About Machines", Bartlett Finchley despises all machines, even more than he hates people, and destroys his appliances if he can't get them to work. For instance, he kicked in the screen of his television and threw his radio down the stairs.

The Twilight Zone (1985): In "Quarantine", the survivors of World War III in 2043 came to distrust and despise technology because nuclear weapons had wiped out 80% of the world's population. They abandoned machines in favor of improving humanity through genetic engineering and achieving harmony with the natural world.

In the Anita Blake series, it's mentioned by Anita that really old vampires can be technophobes. They just aren't used to it and don't trust or understand new technology.

Sources: 1 2 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Choose which of these references would work well with your specific character, and story as a whole. You can also find more examples of the trope for inspiration in the links above, alter as needed/desired. Hope this helps with your writing!

[awoefulstudent]

Hello everyone!

My name is Amina and I am a BSc Psychology with Honours student at the University of Hertfordshire. I am also the principal researcher of a study that aims to investigate whether judging category relatedness within semantic memory can be influenced by the level of typicality the items have alongside whether high versus low autistic traits have any effect on the performance of different types of processing.

I am currently taking volunteers for this online study. Any adults aged 18 to 65 can volunteer and you do not need an official Autism diagnosis to take part.

In the study, you will be given an item/ definition/ scenario at the top of your screen and will have to decide which of two following words match best to that using your keyboard. After that is completed you will be given the RAADS-14 questionnaire to complete.

It will take roughly 15 minutes to complete. However, a maximum of 30 minutes is given for the entire study to be completed including the information sheet, consent form, debrief sheet, and the “breaks” given (which are just for momentarily resting your eyes and hands), otherwise I cannot use your data. Please note that this study cannot be completed on a mobile phone or tablet, it must be done on a computer/laptop as the keyboard is required for the study’s completion.

You can completed this study at anytime until 23:59 GMT on Friday 1st of March here:

https://research.sc/participant/login/dynamic/0D915D45-8D85-44F9-9B63-376AF0C70573

This study has been approved by the Ethics Committee at the University of Hertfordshire and is also being conducted under the supervision of Dr. Nicholas Shipp.

Your participation is very important for this study and is very much appreciated.

Thank you for your time!

Many Thanks

Amina

EDIT: Study is now no longer taking participants!!! Thank you all who took part and spread the word of my study, it definitely means a lot to me 💟

[responsivethoughts]

The Grumman X-29 Experimental Aircraft

The Grumman X-29 was an experimental aircraft developed by the United States in the 1980s, aimed at testing advanced aviation technologies. One of its most unique features was its forward-swept wings, which improved maneuverability and reduced drag. However, this design introduced significant aerodynamic challenges, such as the tendency of the wings to twist under stress. To address this, the X-29 utilized advanced composite materials, which provided the necessary strength without adding excess weight.

The X-29 was inherently unstable due to its forward-swept wings, necessitating a sophisticated digital fly-by-wire control system. This system allowed a computer to continuously make adjustments to keep the aircraft stable during flight. Additionally, the aircraft featured canard control surfaces, located in front of the main wings, which enhanced control and maneuverability, particularly at high angles of attack.

Another key feature of the X-29 was its variable-geometry engine inlets, designed to optimize airflow into the engine across different flight conditions. This design allowed the aircraft to maintain efficiency at various speeds and altitudes. Together, these innovative design elements made the X-29 a complex and advanced aircraft for its time.

The X-29 first flew on December 14, 1984, under the management of NASA and the United States Air Force. Two X-29 aircraft were constructed, and they accumulated over 400 test flights. These tests focused on exploring the aircraft's unique aerodynamic and flight control characteristics, providing valuable data on how forward-swept wings performed under various conditions.

The primary objective of the X-29 program was to investigate technologies that could be used in future fighter aircraft, with a particular focus on improving maneuverability and control at high angles of attack. Although the X-29 was never intended to enter production, the insights gained from its development contributed to future advancements in aircraft design.

While the X-29 did not see operational service, its legacy is significant. The technologies it explored, including forward-swept wings, composite materials, and digital flight controls, paved the way for innovations in fighter aircraft. Today, the X-29 is remembered as an important milestone in the study of unconventional aircraft designs and aerodynamics.

An interesting and lesser-known fact about the Grumman X-29 is that, despite its radical design, the aircraft reused components from existing fighter jets to save on development costs. Specifically, the fuselage of the X-29 was derived from the Northrop F-5A Freedom Fighter, and its landing gear was taken from the General Dynamics F-16 Fighting Falcon. This blending of cutting-edge technology with proven components from earlier aircraft helped keep the project within a more manageable budget, demonstrating a creative approach to experimental aircraft design during that era.

[blackreaderfics]

Off the Record | Clark Kent x Black!Reader

↳ Pairing : MAWS Clark Kent x Rapper!Reader (You)

↳ Rating :  M (18+)

↳ Summary : Clark knows Kryptonians don't experience sexual attraction in the same way humans do. One night, he figures out who exactly turns him on.

↳ W.C : ~1.2k

↳ Tags + Warnings : logicalnerd!clark, clark is a late bloomer kinda, kryptonian biology is weird i guess, allusions to asexuality, sexual awakening(?), pwp, masturbation, fantasizing, onlyfans lol, mentions of leaked sextape

Masturbation was healthy; that much Clark had already known from sex ed classes and Google searches. And though he knew from his research that most pubescent kids started jerking off in middle school, along with having erections, he had never in his 30 years of life experienced sexual attraction. Ever.

When kids in high school drooled over naked women posing on the covers of Playboys or Maxims, he still tried his best to act the part of "horny teenager". He had crushes in his teen years too, but he never actively sought out sex.

There was this one time when a girl he liked had tried to initiate sex, but he was honest to a fault and truthfully told her that he didn’t like her in that way. Needless to say, she’d gotten offended and never spoke to him again. Since then, he’d hidden that quirk about himself from every single one of his romantic partners without fail.

Don’t get him wrong, Clark has had sex before and from what he could tell, he was pretty good at it too. Just like with his studies, as long he understood the proper mechanics of the subject at hand, he could go above and beyond for any performance. 

It was basic biology. Having an erection required a higher flow of blood towards his penis; which he could do himself pretty easily since he had amazing control over his body. That was the result of learning how to be Superman for the past few years. Because of his “training” he lasted long and the (very) few men and women he chose to bed loved him more for it. 

There were still some things he thought he’d never understand the concept of, however. Like, how do Kryptonians procreate if he can’t seem to produce the semen to ejaculate? The white liquid he’d seen in porn as a teen was like a myth to him. Jor-El never mentioned that in the Fortress of Solitude. He wouldn't be finding any Kryptonian biological literature available to read at any Metropolis public library either. It wasn’t like he didn’t try, but after some (controlled) tests, he concluded that perhaps Kryptonians didn’t ejaculate and he was okay with that.

So when Clark felt a strange sensation in his pants one night when he saw you on TV, he immediately thought that he’d fallen ill. Which was strange for him because, well, he’d never gotten sick. But there you were, mesmerizing him as clips flashed on screen of you rapping while wearing a risqué outfit leaving nothing to the imagination. Suddenly everything felt too tight, too hot. He gulped, nervously pulling at the collar of his t-shirt, but a knot remained lodged in his throat.

The camera angles panned across your chocolatey skin and ample curves, cutting right at moments where it veered dangerously into porn instead of what it was supposed to be—a rap music video. Clark had seen porn before and full-on bare naked women anyway, but he’d never been affected like this before. So why now? And why you?

Once the music video ended, Clark snapped out of his trance, but it wasn’t long before the now rock-hard and throbbing situation in his pants urgently reminded him of more pressing matters.

He quickly powered on his computer to search your name and, not long after, pictures of you filled the screen. There was a never-ending stream of shots of you on the red carpet, you on stage, photoshoots, and pictures you’d uploaded yourself on social media.

Every time his eyes would linger on a photo of you in a suggestive position, i.e. licking a popsicle or pushing your breasts together, his cock would twitch against his zipper. It didn’t take a genius to figure out where his cock wanted to be right now and it was right at the back of your throat. He unbuckled his pants, letting his first-ever unassisted erection bob up and against his sweater-clad stomach.

He’d never fantasized about someone having his cock in their mouth until tonight. Sure, his partners had given him blowjobs before, but he couldn’t even pretend to enjoy them. Truthfully, it looked like it hurt when they couldn’t even take all of him in, and he never liked to be the reason anyone felt pain. Clark scrolled on.

You had a sex tape? His brow furrowed in disapproval though he could feel his face grow warm. He couldn’t pinpoint what exact emotion he was feeling right now. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn’t a positive one.

The page he had landed on showed a closeup of you, eyebrows knitted in ecstasy as someone (he didn’t want to know who) hovered behind, hands gripping your ass, already in the middle of ravishing you. The screenshot made the corners of his mouth tug down in a frown. He didn’t particularly like the idea of watching other people have sex at all. And he especially didn’t want to see some other guy “balls deep” inside you instead of him. 

More importantly, it just wasn’t right. He’d seen reports that your tape had been leaked without your consent; by watching it he would be actively infringing on your sexual boundaries. That definitely wasn’t right either and though he desperately wanted to, he didn’t have the heart to press play. 

Onlyfans? Clark's eyebrows quirked up in curiosity. He clicked on a link he’d found on your Instagram page and there you were; verified with pages of content ready to be unlocked. After a moment of thought, he concluded that this was the most ethical alternative; much better than masturbating to your pictures or your sex tape. This way you would be paid for your work, and he would gain implied consent as a customer. He felt much better about this as he clicked the blue purchase button. 

His cock throbbed again when he finally saw you, full lips planting soft kisses onto a dildo, your large almond eyes heavy-lidded and boring into him with lust. That’s when Clark brought a hand to his cock and began to stroke. What was once a motion that was alien to him, felt more and more natural as he pumped, matching his strokes to your pace. Your image on screen bobbed your mouth up and down making lewd slurps and moans, purposefully throating the shaft to the hilt. Each brief moment you came up for air brought a mess of saliva with you. 

Clark watched on, immersed, bucking his hips into his fist as he imagined he was the one making you make those vulgar sounds. But something in the back of his mind was disturbed. Was this what he, Clark Kent, liked or was it an innate biological desire he couldn’t control from a planet he never knew? He felt disconnected; outside his body until, not even a minute after he had started the video, a sensation he’d never felt before came over him. He groaned and tightened his grip as he felt himself release.

A warm sticky liquid had dripped down his cock and onto his hand. Clark grimaced down at the mess he’d made, breathing erratically until he finally calmed down. His cock twitched and the last of dregs of his cum spilled out from his reddened tip. 

He'd made two major discoveries that night:

1. Kryptonians did ejaculate after all, and 2. When it came to you, he wouldn’t be able to last very long.

©️ blackreaderfics // credit to cafekitsune for the dividers

[elliespillowprincess]

SHES MY DRUG

✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮

pt 1

pt 2

pt 3

a/n: this is my first ever (kinda) fic so it kinda sucks and is all over the place.. rockstar/band ellie has been on my mind too much lately so yk i had to.

c/w: modern au, reader is in college (premed), biker ellie!!! smut next part!! mentions of smoking, drinking and drugs (reader and ellie), fem reader, plus size reader, insecure reader, fluff, abby is readers mean ex (abby lovers im sorry, i still love her) angst, body dysmorphia, fatphobia, race of reader not specified, TERRIBLY WRITTEN, not proofread

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT SUPPORT NEIL DRUCKMANN

✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮

“hey did you hear about the music festival in town this weekend?” your friend, liliana, asks, making you wake up from the trance your computer put you in. you and liliana had been friends prior to college, meeting in your honors anatomy class in high school. with a similar career goal in mind, you two decided to go to the same college and become roomates. you two had been in your towns coffee shop for hours, trying to finish an assignment your biology professor gave you two.

“there’s a festival here? nobody ever comes out here.” you reply. nobody has ever done any concerts, festivals, or performances in your town. it was so small, they wouldn’t make enough profit so it just didn’t seem worth the trip. the only performances you ever saw were done by drunken men in your college bar.

“yeah! i don’t really know anyone that’s going though. it’d be nice to check out!”. she scrolls to find a post advertising the festival, with a list of who’s going. to nobody’s surprise, the list is small; 3 performers. “the tickets are only $50, we should go!!” she says whilst you’re reading the informative post. “i don’t know, lili, i mean who even are these people? is it even worth our money?” the idea of wasting your weekend at a festival, where you don’t know anyone playing, when you could be studying for finals makes you nervous.

“come onnn y/n, we can’t waste our uni years studying all the time! when we graduate, we’re gonna be swamped with med school work, might as well make the most out of the time we have!” liliana says cheerfully. sure, you could spare the hours, but you had so much on your plate. finals, work, and not even mentioning the fact you just broke up with your girlfriend of 4 years. you look at her face, she’s using puppy-dog eyes to hopefully persuade you into going. “i’ll think about it.”

you’re laying in your dorm room, back hunched over your laptop, with your hands in your hair. liliana was staying at her boyfriends house for the night, leaving you all alone. the amount of studying you’ve done in the past hours giving you a throbbing headache and double vision. you harshly close your laptop, saying “i’ll do it later.” in your head, lazily getting up to grab some advil from your medicine cabinet. you open the familiar bottle and pop a few pills into your mouth. walking to your bed, you plop down, and begin scrolling mindlessly on instagram.

then you remember what your friend was telling you about earlier, and you decide to look at your towns instagram. a new post making you curious as nothing had been posted since the fourth of july fireworks at the towns lake. you click on it, a flashy banner lighting up your screen.

GOLDWHIT GROVES FIRST EVER MUSIC FESTIVAL; FEATURING:

BEHIND THE ANGER

ELLIE WILLIAMS

DRAW MY BLOOD

THIS SATURDAY ONLY

you chuckle, finding the names of the bands amusing. one of them, however, drew your attention. the only one who was seemingly a solo performer, ellie williams. you decide to close your towns page and type the name into your search bar. your eyebrows raise at the amount of fan accounts this “ellie” has. you click on the only account with the blue verification symbol on it, her page filling your screen.

holy shit.

she was hot. like, really hot.

you click on her most recent post and it’s a video of her at one of her concerts. she’s playing an electric guitar furiously with gritted teeth. you hear girls screaming and see their hands reaching out trying to feel her. clearly, she craves all the attention so she pulls off her white wife beater, throwing it into the crowd. the screaming only intensifies as she has a douchey smile on her face. the video cuts of and you scroll through the different videos the post has, all of the same nature. you read the caption, “see you next time, dallas.” with no tags.

you open your messages app and begin typing to liliana.

you: ok maybe we should go to that festival i just stalked one of the performers and FUCKKK she’s hot

the bands have goofy names tho

“behind the anger” boy shaddup

you wait until you see the bubble appear, indicating she’s responding.

lili😦: TOLD U WE SHOULD GO! venmo me the money im buying tickets rn.

you laugh softly at her excitement to go, and open venmo, sending her $50. another message pops up.

lili😦: *photo attachment*

who were you looking at btw?

you open the message seeing the qr code for your ticket.

you: that ellie williams chick she looks like an asshole but a HOT asshole yk

i want her to play me like that guitar

gonna become a groupie😋

your tiredness takes over after texting lili for the past few hours, telling her goodnight and closing your phone.

the brightness of the morning sun wakes you up. it’s saturday, and thank GOD you had no classes today. you stay in your bed, opening tiktok. it kinda creeps you out that the first video is an edit of the girl you were gawking over last night. as the edit plays, you become even more excited for the festival later in the day. you look to the top of your screen for the time, 12:37. you partially curse yourself for letting yourself sleep in that late, getting up to brush your teeth.

lili😦: ARE U EXCITED FOR TN??

andrew is asking if he can come

smh he’s so clingy

kinda cute tho

the pinging of your phone causes you to finish brushing your teeth, spitting out the foam in your mouth and wiping your face.

you: i don’t mind

yall better not be like those concert couples

sitting on his shoulders n shit i’ll knock you off

you didn’t really mind as you’ve known andrew as long as you’ve know liliana. they’ve been together for the past six years, and you guys used to go on double dates with your ex all the time, it was like a little group.

lili😦: LMFAOOO we won’t

can we get ready tg 🥺

you have all the cute body glitter

you: sure come home whenever

you turn on the shower, grabbing a towel from the cabinet before hopping in. while washing your body, you begin thinking about what you’re gonna wear. you start to think about what ellie williams would notice you in, before laughing at yourself for being so delusional. she doesn’t know you, or care about you.

you’re just another girl.

hours had gone by, liliana and her boyfriend were hanging out at your shared apartment, pregaming and getting ready. the festival started at 4, and ended at 10. “hey y/n? where’s the-“ you walk in, and liliana is making a gawking face. “you look SO hot hello?” beaming at you. partially, you feel a little silly. you’re wearing the outfit she picked for you: a lacy cami, short black skirt, and a leather jacket. you have dark smudgey eye makeup, dark red lipstick, and star clips in your hair.

“i feel dumb.” you say, looking down and laughing at yourself. you never wore revealing clothes, being wayyyy too insecure to show yourself off this this. i mean, your boobs were spilling out of your shirt, your ass visible under your skirt, and your stomach uncovered. “shut the fuck up, you look good. we gotta leave soon- shit wait do you have pasties?”

as andrew drives the three of you to the concert, liliana in the front and you in the back, you become nervous. what if someone’s mean? what if something bad happens? what if it gets too cold? what if you start your period?

“y/n?” the calling of your name makes your head perk up. “we’re putting on that ellie chick, gotta know some of the music if you’re gonna SMASH her tonight!!” she says with a giggle. you roll your eyes as lili goes to her music app and selects her top song.

she’s my drug

the title pops up along with a photo of ellie lighting what looks like a joint. the song starts and it eases your nerves, her raspy voice over the melodic electric guitar makes a perfect combination. the excitement for the festival grows once again as the three of you near the festival.

you were kinda surprised at the amount of people that came. it looked like the entire town was there. there were a lot of unfamiliar faces wearing the bands merch. you saw a lot of girls wearing shirts with ellie williams’ tour dates on the back. “i hope the bands aren’t shit.” andrew says, laughing and getting out of the car. “at least we know one of the performers isn’t.” the three of you, out of the car, walk to the entrance. there were old-looking metal detectors that look like they were borrowed from the local police department. you all go through and have your bags checked and tickets scanned, walking towards the one and only stage.

the first band, behind the anger, got on stage. not many people were going crazy, but there were a few drunken men screaming their songs. liliana and andrew were enjoying them, but you were dying for something to drink, craving a shitty festival cocktail and a cigarette. tapping liliana on the shoulder, “hey, guys? i’ll be right back, i’m gonna grab something to drink.” you shout over the music. “alright, don’t take too long! your girlfriend should be out soon!” you roll your eyes laughing and shuffle your way out of the crowd.

walking up to the one and only vendor, you gaze on the menu. different beers, seltzers, cocktails, and liquors. “can i just cut infront of you? i gotta get up there soon.” you hear a voice behind you say. you turn around, partially offended and, holy shit.

it felt like a movie, a book, a fanfiction. what are the chances that she’s infront of you right now? you blink your eyes, not really believing what you’re seeing. nobody’s around you two besides the vendor, shocking as you’d expect girls flocking around her. it’s her. it’s ellie williams.

“excuse me?” you blurt out, not realizing how rude you sounded. i mean, you were just standing there, the only one in line, not moving. was it rude for her to ask. she kind of laughs at you, kissing her teeth. you got a good chance to look at her. she’s wearing cargo pants with a black wifebeater shirt that lifted slightly, allowing you to see what looks like abs, her tattoo covering her forearm, and her hair tied messily in a half-bun.

“i said,” she says, taking a half step towards you, “can i just cut infront of you?” you look around, dumbfounded. “no, you can’t. i’m ordering right now.” you say, matter-of-factly. you spin on your heels and order whatever shitty cocktail your eyes first land on and she chuckles at your behavior. the vendor types it into his tablet. “that’ll be $9.24. cash or card?” you open your purse, looking for the $10 bill you stuck in your purse for this exact reason. of course, like a fucking movie, it’s gone. “sorry just give me one sec.” you say, furiously looking through your purse, embarrassed.

“i got it, put it with mine. lemme get a rum coke.” the girl says flatly, slightly pushing you aside. you roll your eyes at the push and step aside, very embarrassed at the entire interaction. you grab a cigarette from your purse and attempt to light it, but the fluid is all out.

of course. how much more cliché could this get? ellie puts her card away in her wallet and shoves it into her front pocket as the vendor goes to make the two drinks. “need help?” she says, reaching her hand into her pocket and getting out a lighter, it was black and very scratched up. “these are bad for you, y’know?” she says in a cocky tone before grabbing her own and lighting it. the two of you were so far away from the rest of the crowd it that it was almost quiet.

“i’m studying to be a doctor, i know.” you say, the cigarette hanging limply between your lips still attempting to light it. “what’s a smart girl like you doing smoking and drinking then huh? you’re the one who’s supposed to tell people not to.” she says, bringing the lighter to the stick in your mouth and lighting it for you, the closeness of your face to her hands making you nervous. “pineapple cocktail and a rum coke?” you hear the vendor shout; the moment breaks and ellie pushes the lighter into her pocket before grabbing the two drinks, handing you yours before turning around and waving slightly, with the cigarette in her mouth.

“see you up there, doll.”

“bitch you will not believe what just happened” you say, finally making it back to where andrew and liliana were after having to shove through the crowd, almost spilling your drink all over yourself. “i just spoke t-“ the sound of screams interrupts your sentence and people push you and your friends forward, trying to get closer to the stage. you look up to see what is making people so eager, and see her. and holy shit, does she look good on stage. “how are we doing tonight, goldwhit grove?” she says into the mic, making the squeals of the girls around you erupt even louder, some drunkenly trying to take their shirts off before their more sober friends stop them.

after speaking into the mic for a bit about god knows what, you could barely hear her, she strums her guitar making people scream even louder. “what should we start out with?” she slurs into the mic. she looks like she’s on something, but what musician isn’t. you hear people screaming different names you haven’t heard of, before she says “she’s my drug? that’s all yall wanna hear.” she laughs before starting the song. it is her top song for a reason, it sounds phenomenal. you’re trying to enjoy your time, but the amount of people pushing you and stepping on your feet is annoying you.

after a few songs you hear her voice echo, “guys, let’s back it up a bit, you’re crushing people.” part of you wants to think she said that because she was looking at you, but you reality check yourself quickly. nobody listened, and you feel someone step on your heel for the hundredth time, finally deciding to say something.

“did you not hear her? i can barely breathe dude chill out.” you say to the drunken girl behind you. she looks angry, angry that you had the balls to speak up. she shoves you aggressively, making you bump into the person in front of you. now they’re mad at you too, for bumping into them so harshly. you try defending yourself when you feel a cold drink splashed on your chest. your final straw.

you shove your way out of the crowd, leaving behind your friends and deciding you’ll wait until ellie’s performance is over to join them again. once youre out, you make eye contact with the girl on stage. she has her head low and it almost looked like she was looking at you. you get lost on her, she’s playing so aggressively but strategically. before your imagination goes too far, you see her look around to the rest of the crowd, girls screaming when they look her direction.

you walk away, deciding to take a seat on the grass and light a cigarette while you wait. there were a lot of other people sitting around you, assuming they left for the same reason. you’re scrolling mindlessly on your phone until you hear a familiar voice.

“y/n?”

you look up, and it’s her. why the fuck did she have to be here? you were actually enjoying yourself, besides the few rude people, and she had to show up and ruin it all.

“what the fuck are you doing here abby?” you spit out. you’re furious. you haven’t spoken to her in a few weeks, and there were actually days you didn’t think about her at all. “hey, i was just trying to be nice. what are you all butt hurt about?” she says, towering over you sitting on the grass. she always made you feel small, not just physically, but mentally too. you sigh, not wanting to let her control your emotions any longer. the partially-distant sound of ellie’s guitar stopped, making it seem so much more quiet.

“you here with ava?” you spit out at her. she looks like she took that offensively, even though she was the one who cheated on you. “what’s that supposed to mean?” she says back, her tone becoming more aggressive. you push your cigarette into the grass, putting it out and standing up. “what are you wearing?” now that you’re closer, you notice her cheeks are red, and so are her eyes. she’s crossed. you know how she acts when she’s drunk, so you simply gather your things, trying to ignore the entire situation and join your friends. the people who were previously around you had gotten up to go back to the stage as ellie had gotten off.

“where are you going?” it sounds like she expects you to stay. to come running back. to cling to her. “to my friends.” you flatly state while walking away. you feel a hand grab your wrist. “i’m talking to you, y/n. it’s rude to walk away from people when they’re talking to you, y’know?” her tone is that of mockery. like you’re a child and she’s trying to teach you a lesson. “did the breakup make you gain that much weight? god i really ruined you huh?” you try to yank your hand away, “let go of me abby, seriously it’s not funny.” her grip doesn’t subside and only grows stronger, making you wince.

“she said no dude, can you not take a hint?”

you turn around and see ellie walking towards the conflict. this is so cliche. “are you a groupie now?” abby laughs at you, and as soon as she says that ellie shoves her off. as attractive as ellie was, abby was stronger. she was built, and she could take down almost anyone. “stop, this is dumb.” you say as they get close to each other. “yeah, yeah it is. don’t know why i’m getting all mad over a groupie slut. you can have her.” she says, walking out of the venue. you see a ditsy blonde girl following after her asking if she’s okay as she furiously walks, not responding to her. you try not to cry at her words, why does she still have such an effect on you?

“you okay?” you hear ellie asking you, almost forgetting she was there. “yeah- yeah. sorry about that. and thank you.” you say, extremely embarrassed while wiping your tears. she’s just looking at you. not saying anything. she didn’t know what to say.

“wanna go get a drink to cheer you up?”

that’s how you ended up in a random bar, with ellie fucking williams. after she asked you to drinks, she took you to the back stage, careful not to be spotted by any fans, where she grabbed her bags and headed for the exit. she was able to sober up before the ride home. while walking out, girls spotted her, running up and asking for her auto graph. she obliged for a few until one asked to sign her boobs, “i gotta go, girls.” her bodyguards following behind the two of you making them back off. you were expecting a van or a car, but no.

she rides a motorcycle.

she just got hotter.

lifting the seat, she tosses her bag into the large compartment, replacing the extra helmet which she handed to you. your heart was racing, you’ve never ridden on a motorcycle before. you nervously put the helmet on your head. “here, lemme help.” she says, pulling the band tightening the helmet ensuring it’s on tight, before tapping it lightly and swinging a leg over her motorcycle. she reached her bent elbow out, waiting for you to use her to help you get on. you grab onto her arm and swing your leg over, getting more comfortable.

“hold on.”

“so where’d you hear my music?” she says, babysitting another rum and coke looking at you intently. she was careful not to drink too much knowing she had to drive home. the two of you had been at the bar for two hours, just talking. a few people coming up every so often to get her autograph. “i actually just only heard about it the other day, through the festival.” you say shyly, hoping she won’t take offense. she laughs softly looking down. “i guess it’s a good thing for me huh? got another monthly listener and a pretty girl talking to me.” everything she says is so blunt, so easy.

you start to wonder how many other girls she’s charmed with the same line.

“wanna head out?” she says. “you can come back to mine- fuck, i can take you to yours. sorry, that sounded desperate.” she laughs, picking up the two helmets and your purse, handing it to you. with the bill paid, the two of you walked to her bike. she opens the door and waits for you to walk through.

“why don’t we go back to yours?” you say boldly. she looks surprised, and sets her helmet on her bike, placing yours gently on your head. she puts hers on, hops on the bike, and helps you get on.

“alrighty.”

you didn’t know how much you’d actually like being on a motorcycle. there’s so much adrenaline, she’s speeding through cars and air is whipping around the helmet. your chest is pushed tightly to her back, your hands wrapped around her waist. luckily, her wearing her helmet made it impossible for people to spot her, making it an easy ride back to her hotel, the only hotel in town. parking her bike in a designated spot, she holds her arm out allowing you to slide off easily, her following behind you. she opens up the bikes seat, grabbing her backpack, and locks it.

“we should hurry before someone spots you!” you giggle. the alcohol making you feel so light and ditsy, following her to her room like a lost puppy. she pulls the key out and unlocks it, holding the door for you and locking it after you. she tosses her things on the hotels desk as you lay down on her bed. smiling to yourself.

“what’cha smiling about pretty girl?”

you giggle, tapping the bed indicating her to lay next to you. “this doesn’t feel real” you laugh out as she crawls on the bed, “i mean, im living every gay girls dream right now, hello? i’m in a hotel with ellie *hic* williams!!” she laughs at your drunken state, reaching to the bedside mini fridge to grab a seltzer. “you’re cute, y/n”. your ears kinda perk up, not remembering when you told her your name.

“how do you know my name?” you say, squinting your eyes at her. she cracks open the can. “calm down, princess, i heard it when that dick was talking to you earlier.” you notice she becomes a little annoyed. “i’m glad i took money out of her pocket but fuck, i got douches at my show.” she takes a long drink from her can. your rose-colored glasses didn’t even care about abby right now, or how much ellie hated her from their first interaction, you just wanted more of her.

you snuggle closer to her, wanting to breathe her in. you’re on the left side of her, laying on your side as she’s on her back. the level of intimacy between the two of you makes your head spin. you guys just met. part of you feels bad that she, a fucking rockstar, probably wants more than a simple conversation and cuddling. you sit up slightly, trying to remove your shirt, “hey, what are you doing?” she says, looking confused. you’re struggling to take your shirt off, it being tight and you being drunk. “feel bad. you probably get girls eeeeveryday doin this.. know why you’s wanted m’here so- so i’ll do it.” your works are slurring and hardly making sense and you’re starting to get frustrated. partially from not being able to take off the uncomfortable shirt, and part from not wanted anything sexual now, not in this state and not when you hardly know her.

she grabs your hands and stops you, making you look at her. “hey, i don’t wanna do anything, ‘kay? we can watch a movie after i get you some clothes to change into.” you put your arms down watching her get up and get an oversized band tee. “don’know if it’ll fit, els.” you say, sadly. she turns around, waiting for you to try it on. “just try it, princess.” you try taking the shirt off again, but just can’t. you get so frustrated you start tearing up, making her turn around and help you. “m’gonna take it off okay?” you nod, lifting your arms as she helps you take your shirt off. “don’t look!!” you say, laughing and pushing her away. she turns around, laughing, “okay, okay” allowing you to put the shirt on and take your bra off from under the shirt. finally, you slip your skirt off.

“done!” you say, smiling watching her turn around as she makes eye contact with you, her face turning pink. she walks towards you, smiling down at you on the bed. “wanna watch a movie?” she asks, picking up a remote and a bag of what looks like joints, pulling one out along with the lighter in her pocket. you nod, asking “can i have one?” she closes the bag, replying “you’re way too drunk, sweetheart.” she flicks on the tv, putting on whatever shitty movie was playing on the hotel tv at the time. you both crawl under the bed, cuddling up into her. you hear a familiar click of the lighter, and the sound of the paper and weed burning. she plays with your hair, making you more and more sleepy, drifting off into a deep sleep state.

the next morning, you wake up unsure of where you are. you look around the room, its messy and there’s clothes, food, and drinks everywhere. you lift your head and look to the right and see none other, than ellie williams.

what the fuck happened last night?

[animentality]

not to be a boomer, but I do worry about the current generation of kids being raised with iPads.

first off. some of them literally can't hold a pencil because their parents never gave them physical toys to grip and play with, developing their fine motor skills.

you might ask why do we even need to learn how to write physically anymore- well, frankly, because if you're stranded on an island somewhere and you need to write HELP, you might not have the strength to hold a pencil, but you can at least hold a stick.

but on a more general note.

writing by hand helps you remember things better. it forces you to focus in a way that typing something word for word does not. a person can transcribe what a professor says without even thinking about it.

someone writing notes has to consider what to write and what to omit. it also activates more parts of your brain, forcing you to flex the parts of your brain related to learning and communicating, while also engaging the part of your brain dedicated to muscle control and precision.

but in general, I think the issue isn't even oh technology is bad and kids are getting dumber.

you can have PowerPoints AND take physical notes. that could help you learn even better than the olden days where you just had to remember everything that was thrown at you. or read very limited, out of date books.

the problem is that the generation that raised/is raising this generation of children just doesn't understand the true impact that all this technology will have on their kids. or they just don't care.

because our generation had the internet yes, but it wasn't widely accessible for most of us, sharing our computers with the entire family in the kitchen. it was also the internet in its infancy, where it wasn't quite so predatory, when it was lawless and disturbing, yes, but it wasn't weaponized by corporations trying to sell you things and steal your data, it wasn't flooded with bots and ai and all sorts of things that the human brain can't even distinguish as real or fake, especially when you're just a little kid.

that generation still played with physical toys. we celebrated when it snowed and we could stay home.

we also came from a gen that still, vaguely, cared about some form of community and had third spaces for kids to hang out.

90s children, who still had some memories of both playing outside on a playground and playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo 64 with their friends, who both went out to the mall and had a club penguin account.

we grew up with laptops and smart boards. maybe some of us had them in high school or college, but we still physically went to class and developed relationships. learned uncomfortable things about ourselves and others, the way humans do.

met new people and were exposed to new ideas, away from our parents. but not from some fucking influencer trying to sell us Sephora products.

we had to study for things, instead of just being able to Google shit for some bullshit online test.

which is also something that really concerns me. so many kids today can so easily Google answers for every test, and while tests don't ultimately matter in the real world, they still provide some basis for things that do matter.

like I'm just imagining medical students googling how to perform an appendectomy on the day of, and just using a YouTube tutorial to guide them through, and shuddering.

there are some things that the Internet can't teach you.

there always will be.

but I don't think my generation is really helping their kids find the balance that we were given naturally growing up.

the boomers and gen xers had fist fights and we had bullying someone online until they committed suicide.

and now kids use AI to spread fake nudes of girls.

but the laws haven't caught up with a lot of this stuff yet, and certainly won't while we have dinosaurs running our government. and culture takes even longer to change than laws.

I also worry because I know how badly covid affected kids worldwide. how they struggle to read and do math, because remote learning just isn't good for kids.

and I can't even blame them!! I literally teleworked for 4 years and even I can admit that I'm not nearly as good at focusing at home as I am in the office.

it's hard for kids with social anxiety and disabilities, yes I know, I know, trust me, I have social anxiety, and as a hybrid worker ATM, I highly doubt I'd be able to handle 5 days a week in the office.

but it's also not particularly good for kids to stay home ALL the time, entertaining themselves in their room and never being challenged, and never meeting people other than their parents.

the iPad is more of a symbol of that problem than the direct problem.

if your entire... world view is limited to what you can see on your iPad... I mean what a terrible world view you'll have.

you're a 10 year old using TikTok and all you ever see is the same opinion over and over until you can scarcely comprehend people who have an opposing opinion.

you see fake videos that seem so real. that must be real, and so comforting, aren't they, those videos that seem so real?

you let 30 year old influencers who are trying to grift people shape your world view.

and it's not even your fault.

your parents aren't doing anything to help you.

you're young and you're being barraged with entertainment and fake educational videos and how to guides that accidentally create mustard gas in your toilet.

your parents should be teaching you to find a balance between these things. they should be telling you what's real and caution you about the things you see.

they should limit your fucking time on the iPad actually. take you to a fucking park and let you roll in the mud or some shit.

and then when you're a teenager and a young adult, then you can start deciding for yourself what you believe.

but a lot of these weird millennial/gen z parents, man. just let your 1 year old scroll through vids on TikTok while you don't even talk to them or look at them once.

maybe it's because they don't see the harm in it, but I don't get it.

adults can watch TikTok all day and know, ahhh this is bad for me. I'm not doing anything I actually want to be doing.

adults can see other adults doing dumb shit and say ah you're sponsored. someone paid you money to say and do that. silly.

but kids are just kids.

they don't have discipline and frankly, that's not their responsibility. that is yours.

you should be teaching them that they can't have everything in life at their finger tips at all times, actually.

the iPad doesn't solve all of your problems, nor will it think critically for you.

so I worry about if humanity can really keep up with its own technology.

our species is still in its infancy, believe it or not.

so maybe these are just growing pains, and future generations will be able to look back on this era and know the proper balance.

but as someone living in 2024.

I wonder just how much pain is left before we really mature and either make it or break it.

[strljaem]

“was it cute like me?"

💿 : dream a little dream of me, michael bublé.

Your love story with Jaemin began in the most magical way—at a concert, where you were lucky enough to get backstage passes. As a dedicated fan of NCT Dream, you'd always admired Jaemin from afar, never daring to dream that he'd notice you. But fate had different plans.

It was a warm summer night when you finally met Jaemin in person. You were backstage after the concert, the excitement still buzzing through the air. The moment he walked in, it was as if the world tilted in his direction. He was stunning in his casual attire, with his jet-black hair tousled from the energetic performance. When he spoke to you, it felt like the universe had conspired to bring you together. The conversation flowed effortlessly, and by the end of the night, you'd exchanged social media and phone numbers.

What followed were countless dates, conversations, late-night talks, and everything in between. You got to know each other in private, sharing your hopes, dreams, and even silly inside jokes. Jaemin was always attentive, his eyes lighting up every time he saw you. You soon became inseparable, often spending weekends exploring the city, trying new restaurants, or simply watching movies at home.

Jaemin's busy schedule as an idol and your rigorous studies for your PhD in computer science meant that time together was precious. But you both made it work, always finding ways to connect despite the distance. You met each other's families, and they welcomed you both with open arms. Jaemin's sweet personality won over everyone he met, and your intelligence and charm captivated his family.

Then came the wedding—a beautiful ceremony filled with love, laughter, and tears of joy. You and Jaemin were finally married, and it felt like a dream come true. The world seemed to shine a little brighter, and every moment with Jaemin was filled with happiness.

A year had passed since that magical day, and tonight was your first anniversary. Jaemin had reserved a grand restaurant for the occasion, a quiet, elegant place with dim lighting and soft music. He looked incredibly handsome that night, wearing a black jacket over a brown turtleneck. His jet-black hair was perfectly styled, and his smile could light up any room. You were equally stunning, with your long black hair tied in a ponytail, wearing a black blouse and black leggings. The YSL high heels he had gifted you for your birthday completed the look, adding a touch of sophistication.

As you entered the restaurant hand in hand, the waitress guided you to your reserved table. The ambiance was perfect, with a candle flickering softly between you. Jaemin looked at you with adoration in his eyes and said, "You're beautiful." You laughed and replied, "I know." He chuckled, and the warmth in his gaze was unmistakable.

During dinner, Jaemin shared stories about his preparation for The Dream Show 3 world tour. He seemed a bit down when he mentioned Renjun's temporary absence, and you nodded, understanding the bond between the members. "Call me as soon as you landed," you reminded him. He smiled and nodded, saying, "I'm going to miss you. Take care." You knew you'd miss him too, but you also knew you had your own work to focus on.

While eating your spaghetti, a memory from last night flashed through your mind. You'd had a dream about you and Jaemin having a baby—a cute little boy with your big brown eyes and Jaemin's nose. The scene in the dream was so vivid, you were in a beautiful garden, walking together. Jaemin was holding a stroller, while you held the baby in your arms. He gently caressed the baby's cheek as he slept, and you both laughed together, filled with happiness.

As you drifted into the memory, Jaemin noticed you spacing out and snapped his fingers in front of you. "Where have you been, darling?" he asked, concerned. You blinked back to reality and took a deep breath before saying, "I had a dream about us having a baby." Jaemin, who was chewing on a meatball, choked at your words, his eyes widening in surprise. You quickly handed him a glass of water, and he gulped it down, coughing a bit. You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, and he gave you a playful glare.

"Aigoo, really! You had a dream? Was it cute like me?" he asked, trying to play it cool. You nodded and said, "Very. The baby is so cute. He has both of our features." Jaemin laughed nervously, looking down at his food as if avoiding eye contact. You raised an eyebrow at him, questioning his reaction. "What? Aren't you happy?" you asked, and he looked up at you with a mischievous grin. "Maybe it means you're ready to have a child," he teased.

You playfully smacked his arm, causing him to wince and pat it dramatically. "What if I say that I'm ready?" you asked, smirking. Jaemin's eyes widened at your response, and you saw a mixture of surprise and excitement in his expression. "Wow, so sexy," he replied, earning a scoff from you.

As you returned to your food, Jaemin suggested, "We'll see. Give me some time." You nodded, holding back your laughter, knowing he was trying to buy time. He mentioned that the world tour would go on until the end of the year, hinting that he'd have more time then. You nodded, twirling your pasta with your fork, and said, "Thank God." Jaemin pouted, and you burst into laughter at his reaction.

That night was filled with laughter, warmth, and the promise of a bright future together. You both knew that you had different paths to pursue—Jaemin with his idol career and you with your PhD—but your love was strong enough to weather any challenge. As you left the restaurant, hand in hand, you felt that you were both on a journey, one filled with love, adventure, and endless possibilities. And whatever the future held, you were ready to face it together.

[dreamgirl-wannabe]

Okay so here is a little bit about the characters in my Ninjago au; life club:

Kai: works at the same coffee shop as Zane and Cole that Wu owns. His parents are dead and he mostly grew up in an orphanage, when he turned 18 he legally adopted Nya so that could live in the city and Nya could go to school and eventually college. He decided not to he to university (even though that’s what his parents wanted before they died) and instead work to save up money for Nya to go to school. He is the main bassist in the band and when we first meet him he is 18.

Nya: same backstory as Kai obviously. She’s a sophomore In high school (15) at the start of the story. She on the swim team and takes it very seriously. She spends a lot of her time studying but when she’s not she’s watching the band practice (well she’s mostly watching Jay)

Jay: at the start of the story he’s in high school and a junior(16). He sits next to Nya in French class and help her out because his dad is French. His parents own a secondhand shop downtown that they live above. Like the original he’s adopted. He doesn’t work at the coffee shop but is there most of the time anyway. He’s the backup bassist and backup vocals

Zane: He’s a double major in computer science and the culinary arts at Ninjago city university (NCU). When he has 13 his dad passed away, he had always talked about how he wanted Zane to get a good education so Zane used the money from his father to pay for a very prestigious boarding school. He lives in the dorms of NCU and has become good friends with Cole, he even help Zane get a job at the coffee shop he works at. He’s the drummer.

Cole: he is currently in the dance program at NCU after he got a full scholarship and is living on his own in a crappy apartment. His dad is a totally helicopter parent and was a military veteran so he wanted Cole to go into the military like he did. He trained him as a kid and was pretty hard on him but this backfired when Cole ran away to be a dancer. His appartement is petty far from the university so he has a car which is the band go to vehicle when they need to go somewhere bc of it bigger size. He’s the guitarist.

Lloyd: he’s a sophomore in high school and lives with his mom and uncle. His uncle Wu owns the local coffee shop Cole and Zane work at so he spends a lot of his time sitting around there playing games on his phone. His dad was in a very popular band when he was young but for some unowned reason right after Lloyd birth he disappeared. He’s the singer.

some of these(Coles) might fell a bit strange but that is mostly bc I just take the original backstory of the characters and replace fighting/ninja with the band/performing arts

Thanks for reading and sorry for all this text, take care of yourself <3

[yuzurujenn]

[2024.08.05] AERA x Yuzuru Hanyu: 24.8.12-19 No. 37

person in focus

"After all, it's frustrating when I can't perform well."

A session with photographer Mika Ninagawa for the first time in a year. In a long interview exclusive to this magazine, he talks about the ideals he pursues.

Writer: Takaomi Matsubara

Professional skater Yuzuru Hanyu

Born December 7, 1994 in Sendai. 2009 Won the Junior Grand Prix Final at age 14. 2010 Became the youngest Japanese male to win the World Junior Championships. 2011 While practicing at a rink in Sendai, the Great East Japan Earthquake occurred, and he had to live in an evacuation shelter. The rink where he was training was temporarily closed. 2012 First participated in the World Championships, coming in third. 2013 Graduated from Tohoku High School. Enrolled in a correspondence course at the Faculty of Human Sciences at Waseda University, studying human informatics and cognitive sciences. Won his first Grand Prix Final. Won four consecutive titles thereafter. 2014 First Asian gold medal in men's figure skating at the Sochi Olympics. First World Championship win. 2017 Second World Championship win. 2018 Second gold medal in men's figure skating at the Pyeongchang Olympics. 2020 Won his first Four Continents Championship, becoming the first man to win all major international junior and senior competitions. 2022 Participated in the Beijing Olympics. In July, announced his professional career. The ice show "Prologue" was held in Yokohama in November and in Hachinohe in December. 2023 In February, the ice show "GIFT" was held at Tokyo Dome. In March, the ice show "notte stellata" was held in Miyagi Prefecture. In March and April, he appeared in the ice show "Stars on Ice" (Osaka, Iwate, Yokohama). In May and June, he appeared in the ice show "Fantasy on Ice" (Makuhari, Miyagi, Niigata, Kobe). In November, the ice show "RE_PRAY" tour began at Saitama Super Arena. The following year, it was held at SAGA Arena in Saga in January, Pia Arena MM in Yokohama in February, and Sekisui Heim Super Arena in Miyagi in April. 2024 In March, the ice show "notte stellata" was held in Miyagi Prefecture. In May and June, he appeared in the ice show "Fantasy on Ice" (Makuhari, Aichi). On September 15th, he will be performing in the "Noto Peninsula Reconstruction Support Charity Performance Challenge" in Ishikawa Prefecture.

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It has been two years since he made a new start as a professional figure skater in the summer of 2022. In 2024, he led three successful ice shows: "RE_PRAY" (Saga, Yokohama, Miyagi performances), "notte stellata" and "Fantasy on Ice".

The shoot with Mika Ninagawa for the first time in a year began with a cheerful greeting from each other, "Thank you for your continued support this year," and "Thank you." When she said to him, "You're still as young as ever!", Hanyu replied with a smile, a little embarrassed, "I'm almost 30."

"Move freely."

With those words, he made expressions and gestures as he pleased.

Various scenes were set up in the vast studio. Hanyu, who changed costumes and was photographed in each scene, moved and made expressions freely, sometimes under instructions and sometimes as if he was imagining (creating) a story himself. The people watching repeatedly let out gasps of amazement as the images were displayed one after another on the computer monitor. It was nothing short of amazing how he instantly exuded various moods - from boyish with a hint of innocence to cool and seductive.

His creativity was not limited to the way he behaved as a subject. When the BGM was played during the shoot, his body naturally responded to the music, and he also requested songs himself when he saw the costumes. There was also a moment when he saw a prop that had been set up and asked, "Do you have one more of these?" This revealed his high level of creative awareness.

The shooting has completed.

"Thank you very much," he said, and there was something light-hearted and cheerful about it. After a year, what he showed in the studio was a more mature and expressive side to him.

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Exclusive interview with this magazine

[In pursuit of a distant ideal]

He is now in his third year as a professional figure skater. Reflecting on his days of taking on unprecedented challenges, he spoke about what he has gained from them and what the future holds.

Photo: Mika Ninagawa    Writer: Takaomi Matsubara

Yuzuru Hanyu, the journey continues

hair & make up: Noboru Tomizawa  styling: Masataka Hattori costume: NEEDLES    BED j.w. FORD    YUKI HASHIMOTO  prop styling: Ayumi Endo

Yuzuru Hanyu started out as a professional figure skater in 2022. In his first professional ice show, "Prologue," he performed the first solo ice show in history. He skated for nearly two hours, with a structure that richly conveyed his skating career. Following "Prologue," he then performed a solo show at the Tokyo Dome for the first time in history, "GIFT." The ice show filled the gigantic venue, which had never been seen before.  After "Prologue" and "GIFT," he held the performance "notte stellata" in March 2023, which was filled with thoughts and prayers for March 11. It has been a year since our interview last summer, following those three performances.

Changes in the "depth" of thinking

"When I was interviewed a year ago, it had just been a year since I turned professional. I had a desire to grow and learn more specialized things. In the year since then, I think that my technique, expression, and many other aspects have changed. Among them, I feel that I have had many more opportunities to think about expression. I have been thinking about expression even in my daily life. I think that the way I think about my show, the way I think about each program, the depth of those things has clearly changed." He talks about what triggered the change in the past year. "First of all, I had to spend more time thinking about writing a new ice story after GIFT and also about my own performance.” The new ice story was "RE_PRAY", under the title "ICE STORY 2nd".  It opened on November 4, 2023 at Saitama Super Arena. It was performed in Saitama for two days, on that day and the following day, and in the new year it was performed in Saga on January 12th and 14th, and in Yokohama on February 17th and 19th, for a total of six performances in three cities. After the premiere in Saitama on November 4th, Hanyu said the following. "First of all, I myself have learned from games, manga, novels, and various other sources, about what life is all about, how precious life is, and other similar things that everyone else roughly feels.

In games, the concept of life is really light in a sense, and you can repeat it, so you can use characters to do all sorts of things and push forward with curiosity. If you apply that to the real world, you might be a person who has the drive to grab hold of dreams, or conversely, from a different perspective, you might be a very terrifying person. But if you could do it all over again, I'm sure people would try it."

24 hours a day, always skating

In this story with a game motif, the question of "choice" is often depicted. We make choices in our lives, even if we are not aware of it. What if you choose a different option than the one you originally chose? Or would you choose the same option? This story asks the audience, which serves as an opportunity to reexamine their way of life. Of course, just like "Prologue" and "GIFT," the fact that this story was completed and received with overwhelming acclaim was due to the performance of Hanyu, who was the sole performer. And even after six performances, he did not try to stay in the same place. He continued to evolve. There were many evidences of this growth at the final performance of the Yokohama show, for example. The movements in the performance of "Chicken, Snake and Pig" where he moved forward as if resisting the shackles. The performance of "Megalovania", following a silent performance without music with only the sound of his edges resonating, was more integrated with the music than in previous performances. Not only in the production aspects, but also in the details of Hanyu's performance itself, there were traces of refinement here and there. After the Saga performance, Hanyu spent his days preparing more rigorously for the Yokohama performance.  "Of course, I trained and restricted my diet. Well, how should I say it, there are 24 hours in a day, but I spent the entire time on nothing else but skating. In other words, skating was always present, 24 hours a day.” "That's right. To put it simply, it felt like I was spending every day just working on 'RE_PRAY'." The reason he spent all his time facing skating was because he had regrets about the Saga performance. "After all, it's frustrating when I can't perform well." However, the standards of frustration have changed from when he was a competing athlete.

Still not enough

"Gradually, the focus is shifting from scores to an evaluation. If something technical that I had planned didn't go well, then my evaluation vector changes and my perspective shifts. I couldn't accomplish what I wanted to accomplish in Saga, so I was simply disappointed." After spending 24 hours focused on skating, the Yokohama performance came. After the final performance, he said, "I feel a sense of accomplishment like winning the Olympics." While he felt a sense of fulfillment, he wasn't completely satisfied. He also felt that his ability had not yet caught up with what he wanted to do. "So I feel like there are still things I need to study more. Of course, I think I'm evolving. I think I'm getting better. But I still feel like it's not enough. As I keep digging deeper and deeper, my ideals become higher, and the things I want to express are becoming more and more specific. The more my ideals become more concrete, the more I feel like I'm not catching up." He is aware that he still has areas where he needs to improve, especially in the finer details. This is something he realises now, which he didn't feel this way when he was competing in the sport. "It's impossible to realise this when you're a competitive athlete. After all, if you can jump, you win. To be honest, if you couldn’t jump, there was no point in talking about it, as the outcome of the competition was pretty much decided by how many types of quadruple jumps there are and where you put them in the program. For example, what memories do you have of this song, the background of this song, what is the story you want to express, how will the story and the song fit together, or what meaning is in the choreography, to be honest, there’s not much room to think about them. You have to complete all your technical elements in one go in the four minutes of a competition (free skate), so that's all you can focus on."

A world not in first place

Win the match. In a competition, that is set as a goal. "Since I had already achieved that, there was no way I could go any higher. If you think about it in the world of competition, I won first place, so even if I tried harder, I couldn't get any higher than first place. In other words, I just tried to see how long I could maintain that first place position.

But in the world I'm in right now, even if I think I'm in first place, it may not be. It’s a place where I can think, "I'm still at the bottom". When I look at the various works of art or technically excellent things from around the world, I feel that there are still many things I can't do, so I think that I still have a long way to go." When he moved from the world of competition, which was fixed in a sense, to a new world, it was no longer a confined space. However, whether one knows its vastness or not, whether one feels that there is an endlessly wide world out there, is up to the individual. So even though the world is infinite, some people only notice a limited space. Or, there are those who limit the space themselves.

Right now, Hanyu thinks, "I still have a long way to go." He feels like he's at the bottom. This is because he knows that the world is endlessly vast. The reason he feels this way is because he has the ambition to move forward without being content with the present. So instead of seeing the place he has arrived at as the end point, he knows that there is still space to go beyond that.

Ideals evolve

"I may have surpassed the ideal I had a year ago. But the sense of distance between me and my ideal is probably the same as it was a year ago. For example, if the distance between me and my ideal a year ago was 10 meters, it may be 10 meters, no, 11 meters now. That's how I feel. I'm living and experiencing life, I see information every day, and in the midst of that, my ideal evolves. My ideal gets further and further away. But at the same time, through what I have seen and experienced, I'm sure I’m also one step closer to my ideal." Then, after a short pause, he continued with a smile. "As long as I want to, I think I can continue for the rest of my life." The skater is still on his journey, striving towards the ideals he has built with his own will. 

Source: AERA issue 24.8.12-19 No.37, pg 9-15 Info: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/B0D89L6LS2