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pchelik-please · 2 months ago

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Headcanons for cardbots' anatomy and culture(kinda)

I wrote most of them to set cardbots apart from cybertronians and write down ideas for their mechanical insides. Tumblr seemingly doesn't like the formating im using.

Warning! Its a long read.

Anatomical hc:

Optic is a one whole led screen, very expressive, easily breakable

Charge instead of a spark (a ball of electricity with nerves that run through the whole body, you should under no circumstance touch it)

Charge consists of the Charge Core (a ball of high voltage electricity in the chest) and Charge Veins (thin vein-like strings that run through entire body from the Charge Core)

Charge Core is protected by dense shell made out of machinium. Charge Veins are attached to it

There are five main CV: 2 for arms, 2 for legs, 1 for head, if the mech has any other appendages (Deep Bite has a tail) than there is an extra CV

CV can split to fill smaller connected appendages (fingers, finials) and to connects to the internal organs (fuel tank, transformation hinges, hydraulics, etc)

If the CC' s shell is breached than it will start fizzling out. If the breach is big and not sealed in time the CC will dissolve and the mech will die

Thinner pieces that have CV ( finials, fingers, wings, FV’s flat thing) are very sensitive because the CV is closer to the surface, but fingers are less sensitive cus they’re used often

No combiners (Flame Nova is an exception*, Blue Cop got it from Deus Machina, I don’t fucking know what’s going on with Blastrain)

Can eat multiple form of fuel (it all converts to energy)

In the show they have a weird vicious liquid in their bodies for some fucking reason and I hate it. CHANGE all fuel converts to electricity, no viscous greens

No medical ports (thus can’t download data directly to their processor, have to learn it manually) But maybe they have bluetooth???

They just bonk their heads and send small not important files to each other (photos, short videos and gifs, tho the last two will have shitty quality). But if they have hats they need to take them off.

No partial patch thing (at least not through a cord, maybe through a em connection)

No subspace, its taken by their metal cards and weapons

sealed bots have subspace because their metal cards are stored in the metal breath, but its not big

Alt modes aren’t an exact copy of the scanned vehicle (it like 80% same)Change, they cant chose a different altmode, they are stuck with one forever. Change, the can choose their alt mode but not an exact copy 80%

I don’t think some of them even cared to scan a human vehicle and just stayed with their old altmode even on earth (Blastrain, Sky Gallop, Deep Bite (his altmode still would look animalistic as hell tho), Speranza crew)

Their windows are always tinted, even the front

EYE THINGIES ON FRONT WINDOW (all have it, a projections to better emote)

Very expressive even in alt mode

Have no mouths, there’s nothing like a mouth under the battle mask

Optic color can be changed through a simple medical procedure, means nothing really

There’s no specific organ that lets them transform rather its in their whole body (we have so much shit that makes us walk, not one specific organ)

Wings, cranes and other thin shit on the frame is more sensitive, cus the CV are closer to the surface

Can’t open the charge core chamber, if breached and not closed the charge will fizzle out very quickly, but injuries to charge veins are not lethal (they are very deep and small) usually they lead to the temporal paralysis ( mega ambler's things work the same)

Usually smaller than cybertronians (4-6 meters usually, some are just fucking big (Black hook is a boat but its a tiny ass boat, Heavy Iron was made like that for funsies), some are bigger cus of their frame types (Blasttrain and Sky Gallop))

Metal card can be used even in alt mode

Only one alt form, no triple-cadruple-sixtruple changers (triple changer is like a fantasy, their Spiderman would have it)

Vehicle only alt modes, no monkeys, guns or boomboxes

If an injury is sparking and leaking than its very very fucking bad and you need to go to a doctor NOW

They generally produce much less noise (fans are quiet, electrical inside are not noisy)

Frame types: car (Blue Cop), flight (Cielo, Shadow X), water related (Black Hook (YES HE IS A FLYING BOAT, BUT BOAT NON THE LESS), Deep Bite), other weird wheels (Rock Crush, Blastrain)

Yes there many sub frame types, but its mostly just civilian-small, standard, bigger transportation, giant guy. OWW has different sub types (car different wheels (tank), weird land vehicle metal wheels (trams and trains), something else construction vehicle (Rock Crush) )

OWW are rare

Animal traits are very rare, its a mutation

No claws, maximum is pointy fingers (exception Deep Bite)

FUCKING HATS. They are born with them (I mean not everyone, but it’s not rare). They are held down with small magnets

Are more common in ground frame than in any other (ground, oww, fly, water)

Something getting stuck on frame like a little magnet is okay, but too much of it and you can get sick

They can absorb gas fuel through their fans but its not very effective

THEY HAVE PORES IN THEIR MASKS TO ABSORB OTHER FUEL (they can taste)

Optics are very fragile and can break easily from underwater pressure (water frames are an exception).

water frames have generally sturdier optics, there is an additional layer of protective glass above the led.

Said additional layer can be installed manually (Phoenix Fire has it cus of his job (he has a lot of mods I think))

Are cooler in general (electricity produces less heat)

If they are damaged severely in their rout mode they cant transform (no hand/leg = impartial car that's missing something most likely vital)

The funny ahh guys who are kinda combiners but not really (Flame Nova, Blue Cop Trinity, Blastrain)

Flame Nova and Blastrain were supposedly born like that (not sure about FN) so when they are combined they should feel everything with their outer layer (touches, damage, em fields)

BC wasn’t born with Loader and Commander so when he’s combined he can’t exactly feel anything beyond severe damage and touches (but only cus he knows someone’s touching him)

Can I just make it very fucking individual? They all have different things regarding the combination ( it can be inborn or acquired through fucking magic or through illegal means (???), but it would be different for all of them)

Different fuels taste very different (methane is delicious kinda sweet, gasoline is basic a bit salty (potato), diesel is similar but fruity (???))

Energon and its variants taste like different acid/energy drinks with a fucked up electric aftertaste, bitter, leaves you sick but wanting more

Cardbots have a very diverse diet. Its advisable to consume 2 different types of fuel a day ( usually electricity and smt else)

The taste of the fuels can vary depending on the manufacturer and brand (‘ Coca Coalla’s diesel is weird, I like Fuelnta more its sweeter’ “Dude, Fuelnta is so poorly filtered, your pores have tiny pieces of minerals after you drink it”)

Energon is like a fucked energy drink for them. If they drink it they are going to run on walls for hours at best (at worst they will run around in circles for an entire day, their mind hazed and crazy, and they’ll get an incredible stomachache after all of that)

Cardbots have an organ for converting fuel to the vicious green liquid (I hate it. there's no reason for its existence(VICIOUS GREEN NO MORE)). Different fuels have different processing time (electricity is the fastest, straight to the core)

Energon is very energy dense compared to other fuels, so it's processing is kinda weird (the organ is working at max % with evey other fuel cus efficiency and it would take very long otherwise, but energon slips through it with such speed that the entire fps** can be fucked from it)

Imagine dropping a glass of liquid high concentration fuel into a wood oven

No charge pulse, constant buzzing instead (you cant hear it from all the plating around it) cannot be tracked by cybertronian tracking devices

They’re denser. Can be tossed around without getting any serious dents for much longer than cybertronians

Cultural (kinda) hc :

Electricity expelled through body (spark and little charges) is explained next

electricity expelled through body right next to someone is a horny kinda gesture

if you nuzzle someone and let out a spark of electricity, it will deepen the kiss and considerate a romantic gesture

you ate too much, if its continuing for more than a day than its a health problem related to fuel to energy transition or its an equivalent of a fever (mostly likely the fever)

Gender is expressed mostly only through pronounce

Optic color can be changed quiet easily, but due to optic’s construction it will be one solid color. Dark colors are not used at all.

Wingspeak is known by all flight frames from birth ( flight frame with autism will not know it sry)

Brighter optics = good mood, dim optics = bad mood or a health issue

SLEEP PILE SLEEP PILE SLEEP PILE, warmer bots sink, you know a guy for 1 one day and you now can sleep in a pile (not considerate horny at all). Usually sleep like that in rout mode, alt mode is less comfortable for a sleep pile

Names consist of two words or two roots or a word and a letter (Blue Cop, Blasttrain, Shadow X). The last one is rare and new (like giving your kid a fancy new name)

Something something magnetism and em stuff is very weird and they are very sensitive to it. (Em storm will give them strong migraines or make them horny idk yet)

No spark bonds or anything close to them

They sulk in their altmode (a car sitting in a dark garage is a sad giant robot)

Its harder to notice their fans are working (aka blushing)

They have shallow soup plates with for exmp gasoline and they dip their face mask in it and it slowly gets absorbed

If its gas fuel maybe its like a bong???

Cords and wires are mostly associated with internal organs and thus are kinda gross

Seeing cybertronian's medical ports and cables is very weird and gross

There’s deffinetly something like old English (Sky Gallop speaks with fucking thee thy and thou s)

Red Blitz’ name from Sky Gallop sounded like Crimson Flash (???)

That means that their language was changing rather rapidly (kinda like English) if the old version is still around, but the major changes occurred long ago enough that most people who speak it are either old Knights (Sky Gallop) or some high old caste (also Sky Gallop)

Maybe im making baseless assumptions based off of one character

DEUS MACHINA IS A GINORMOUS BALL OF ELECTRICITY THAT USES A COMPUTER AS A SHELL

CC is a parallel to Deus in a way ( the essence of a person is in a ball of electricity that is in protective shell / the essence of a God/Creator/Planet is a ginormous ball of electricity in a protective shell/computer)

The computer itself is just a shell, without it Deus will be absolutely incomprehensible for cardbots (they will receive every em signal that Deus consists of and just BOOM). I think that if you stood infront of itself with no shell you would understand everything She wants to say but also absolutely nothing because of the way Deus is constructed

I have a scene of Blue Cop floating in front of Deus in Her core. She doesn’t say anything but hundreds and thousands of meanings of Her words are in his processor. She cares about her creations but she knows they will never comprehend Her real form so she just sticks to the giant computer in the core of Machina.

Since Her shell is a computer it needs service. Every service bot of Hers is also a religious figure

I think her presence would stretch for miles, washing everything in Her em signals and Her electricity. Deus is omnipresent without Her shell. When Machina was blown up everyone had sensed Her. Her dying spirit. Her presence. Her emotions.

She has desmos music vibes

ELECTRICITY SYMBOLISM in visual art

A spark or a bolt between 2 bots is romantic, meaning close intimacy

A ball with sparks around it is a religious thing. Has a caring, kind, all-knowing undertone to it

Half a ball with sparks is also religious. Has an omnipresent, all-knowing, always watching undertone, used rarely. Mostly used in religious texts and paintings/posters

A lot of thin bolts of electricity around someone = pain, sickness, punishment for greed (if the sparks are closer to beak)

2-3 sparks around beak = good taste, awesome fuel, hearty meal

CN structure = insides, strong but thin and curvy, weasy

Im gonna reread it later and think 'bruh what was i on'

Cardbots generally deal with loneliness worse. And they all at least for some time were alone when they landed on earth (their save capsules/podes are for 1 person) so they do appreciate the company more. S1 group is especially clingy in their sleep pile cus no one wants to lose anyone again (its a bit denser than a normal one) even Heavy Iron couldn't sleep alone for very long. And they are generally more sociable than cybertronians I think.

Number 1 psychological issue is abandonment issues/anxiety

Smaller bots sleep curled up, the bigger the bot the more they spread out ( HI is 🧍‍♂️ while BC is 🧶)

The single-colored optic (exm Heavy Iron) is an intimidation tactic. Though can be turned on instinctively if the bot isn’t thinking straight (BC high on energon, Flash&Bit bros with the metal from s2)

#metal cardbot #i regret nothing #i think #sry if there's any russian words left i dont wanna look for them now #robot insanity

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ripstefano · 7 months ago

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From The Russian Army 1914-18

Early War Uniforms (1914-1915)

At the outbreak of the war, Russian Imperial Army uniforms were traditional and formal, inspired by 19th-century European military fashion. Key features included:

Infantry: Soldiers wore the gymnastiorka, a pullover-style tunic with a standing collar, often in olive green or khaki to blend with rural landscapes. Rank was indicated by colored collar tabs and shoulder boards.

Headgear: Soldiers wore the M1910 peaked cap, which had a leather visor and badge. Officers and guards regiments wore the iconic shapka, a tall fur hat, especially in colder climates.

Footwear: Soldiers wore sapogi (knee-high leather boots), which were sturdy but hard to maintain on the battlefield.

Cavalry and Specialized Units: The cavalry wore the traditional long blue or dark green overcoat with distinct colored cuffs and collar insignia. Cossack and other specialized units had specific, unique uniforms, often featuring traditional garments like the cherkesska (a type of coat) and decorative braid.

Mid-War Changes (1915-1916)

As the war progressed, Russia’s economy and industry struggled to keep up with demand, leading to simplifications in uniforms:

Tunic: The gymnastiorka became simpler, often without the colored collar tabs or decorative elements. Khaki shades became standard as brighter colors were deemed impractical.

Greatcoat: The heavy wool shinel (overcoat) remained a staple, especially during harsh winters, but there was a shortage of quality fabric, and lower-quality cloth began to appear.

Headgear: Caps were simplified, with many soldiers receiving the budenovka (a soft, pointed wool cap) by 1917. This cap became especially popular in winter regions but had limited protection.

Late-War Uniforms (1917-1918)

The Russian military was increasingly influenced by revolutionary sentiments, and practical, minimal designs became the norm:

Tunic and Coats: Uniforms were pared down further, with basic olive-drab tunics and greatcoats. Rank insignia were minimal and often overlooked as soldiers became more focused on function than formality.

Insignia: Some units began to remove the imperial insignia altogether due to the influence of the Bolsheviks. Instead, red armbands or patches occasionally appeared.

Boots: Soldiers frequently substituted traditional boots with puttees (long cloth wraps) due to the shortage of leather, a trend seen across European forces during this period

#military art #history #cavalry #soldier #military #historical fashion #the great war #world war 1 #russian history #russian empire #tsar Nicholas ii #imperial Russian history

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cryptidcr3ature · 1 year ago

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Rating Charles’s outfits because I’m an opinionated person. (None of these pics are mine)

Colter Charles: 8/10. There’s something so special about this outfit good patterns, the hand ™, and general snugness. -2 points for the hood. Is it practical? Yes. Does it cover his hair and thus burying the lead that this man has the best hair in the game? Also yes.

Classic blue shirt Charles: 9/10. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this outfit. Everything matches, it’s practical for changing temperatures, it works well with his little necklace. Overall a very good outfit. -1 point for the neck line just being a little awkward.

Poacher killing outfit: -10/10. Charlie boy what the hell? You have a monochromatic color palette and nothing matches. Why do we have so many layers? Why is the belt so high if you’re going to put a jacket over it. I hate this outfit

Sean rescue fit: (sorry for the bad quality but this one has little no pictures) 10/10 YES YES YES. Big coat, matching pants and boots and his hair is on display. Practical and good looking.

The hoodie ™: 6/10. This is a controversial take I know, but the hoodie has its problems. It looks comfortable and I’m an avid hoodie wearer, but I’m not a fan of the rough edges and the one brown patch. I do like the thick sewing lines, but I know this fit could be better. Of course I still love the hoodie and he can make it work but I have to be critical.

Lemoyne fit 1: 10000/10! YES I LOVE THIS FIT SO MUCH YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND! THE PURPLE SHIRT WITH THE TURQUOISE DETAILS ON THE VEST!!!! The way it’s not too baggy but not over constricting. It’s practical but it looks good, not even mentioned how good the tomahawk holster looks with the outfit. I’d wear this outfit level good.

Lemoyne fit 2: 8/10. I adore the idea of this outfit. The greens and the short sleeves are immaculate. The -2 points are for the dingy white shirt. Lemoyne is a dirty place, with all the swamps and dust and stuff, and the whites aren’t going to stay white respectfully. No blame to Charles whatsoever, it’s just not my favorite shirt.

Bank heist fit: 10/10 looks, 5/10 practicality. I love this fit, he looks so good, why so many layers? Why not lose the thick wool coat? If it was a normal day, maybe it would be fine, but you gotta move and I know he’s sweating. I know that wool doesn’t breathe well. Still slays though. A gentleman never gets hot.

Farm boy Charles: 10/10! The fit is RIGHT. Subtle patterns, cute little feather, AND no weird neck line. ICONIC! AND HE KEEPS THE LEG HOLSTER! SLAY KING, SLAY!

American venom: 3/10. I like the coat and his hair looks really good. I also like the pants. I hate this disgusting green vest and off white shirt combo, paired with the floppy hat. I know it’s the same hat as colter, but it doesn’t match the vibe.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr #rdr2 #red dead redemption #rdr 2 #charles smith #rdr2 fashion #Charles smith saves lives #fashion icon #I’m gonna burn that green vest

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thedarkdisgrace · 1 year ago

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I kinda have a headcanon about this outfit.

I hc he’s got an item from each of the flags on him/with him.

Albatross’s bike.

The shirt is Doc’s shirt (Chuuya had borrowed once after Doc patched him up and his shirt was too bloody to wear)

Red cardigan from lippman & black jacket from iceman (both left at his place from the many times they came over)

That particular hat with the red trim is gift from pianoman, or the high quality gloves are the gift (depending on the hat lore).

#bsd headcanons #bsd the flags #chuuya nakahara #bsd #bsd pianoman #bsd lippmann #bsd iceman #bsd albatross #bsd doc #bungou stray dogs #skk #chuuya #bsd fanfic #bsd chuuya

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cetaceans-pls · 8 months ago

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Oh Brother, My Brother

Is there actually any way to be both a Good Brother and a Cool Brother? Dick's trying to find out.

written as part of DC Gotcha for Gaza for em, who requested (annoying (affectionate) dick!

"Why," Jason says with a shocking amount of aggression for such a fine fall day, "are you trying to relive childhood memories that we just don't have, you weird ass bastard?"

He deftly ducks under a straw hat aimed at his head.

"Why shouldn't we!" Dick says with manic cheer, grin bright as all hell but still failing to improve the looks of Gotham's only inner-city 'pumpkin patch. Someone dropped a bunch of hay on the asphalt of the parking lot, a couple of people are gamely trying to stop an alpaca from biting a patron, and the hay ride is a man dressed as a scarecrow (classic, not Crane) huffing and puffing as he pulls 2 shopping trolleys tied together around the perimeter.

Despite the lackluster set up, turn out is good. Gothamites love a shit-show, entrance costs 4 bucks and includes unlimited scarecrow-powered rides for those who can stomach abusing the poor guy, and WE sponsored a falafel stand and a funnel cake stand, with proceeds going to CAIR.

Jason's here because Dick had asked for help for a mission; Jason's still here because despite Dick seeing the need to lie about a family bonding activity, he does unfortunately care enough about the shithead to see through his brother's latest crisis of self.

Doesn't mean that he's wearing an itchy straw hat in sight of one and all though. He snatches the damn thing and then frisbees it into the lot next door (Tall John's Low Price High Quality Cars), and Dick makes a mournful sound as it connects with a 2012 Mazda Miata.

"C'mon," Jason says gruffly. "I'll buy you a funnel cake, stop making that face."

Even the promise of a hot greasy treat does little to lift Dick's mood, but Jason still gets them one each, replete with cream and syrup and mashed strawberries. There's no elegant way to eat the damn things, especially not when it's terribly cold and windy, but they tuck up beside a low wall and make an attempt.

Halfway through, face covered in strawberry like he's just devoured a man, Jason nudges Dick. "Go on, then. Why the hell are you acting even more off the rails than usual?"

The look Dick sends him would make a hangdog hang its doggy face awful low. "It's Tim," he says, a sad high whine. "It's, he's.... Oh, God, I just can't-"

Now, if this was a normal sibling relationship, this would be plenty of cause for alarm. But because Dick's the man that he is and their brotherhood is this thing that's all wire in the blood, Jason knows that if it was something serious serious, life or death serious, then they wouldn't be here, talking about this. The fact that they've got powdered sugar on their noses and not 20 feet away a handsy man is being mauled gently by a llama, well.

It's just Dick being Dick, wanting to whine and be a little annoying and unserious in his brothering, and it's nice for all involved to have low-stakes troubles sometimes.

"Uh huh," Jason says indulgently. "What did he do now?"

"He's cancelled lunch on me like three times," Dick says, incensed. "And then said we should meet off-campus, because he didn't want people to see us together. What does that mean? Why wouldn't he want to be seen with me??"

Jason can't stop himself from quickly looking down to Dick's bare-ass legs in his running short-shorts, and feels a distant kinship with Tim (this hardly ever happens). "Don't take this the wrong way," Jason says, fully knowing that Dick will take it the wrong way, "but you're kinda incredibly embarrassing."

"What?!" Dick yells chestily, loud and powerful enough to startle the llama into letting go of the man it was trying to murder. On the other end of the lot, a gaggle of kids on the 'hay''ride' take Dick's hollering as permission to holler themselves, which results in scarecrow looking like he wants to plunge them all into traffic.

Jason has to stifle a laugh. "I said what I said. I bet every time you're on campus you're hitting on anyone legal and upright, and you always dress like you're in a budget porno. Also, I've seen you subbing for B at Damian's PTA meetings, man. You made his English teacher cry because the kid got an A-, which is not the energy I'd want around my professors." Probably. Jason knows that Bruce would move heaven and Earth to let him go to college if he wanted to, but there's a lot to that that needs untangling, so he'll just have to experience Psych 101 while listening to dick for now.

"He cried because he couldn't accept that he was wrong for not accepting that Damian's prose can be non-traditional, on account of English being like his fourth language!" Dick huffs, and takes a massive bite out of his funnel cake in mild irritation. "And I only ever slept with one professor at Gotham U, and that was before Timmy started taking her class, so that doesn't even count! I haven't done anything really weird!" In a calmer, quieter tone, Dick says, "What's wrong about being invested in you guys' lives?"

Jason bumps their shoulders together. "We're a pack of maladjusted kids who are real real used to not being invested in. Compared to all of that, you're, uh, a shock to the system, Dick." He can't help a little laugh, feeling pretty cheerful now that he knows that Dick's minor crisis is even more unworrying than he thought. "You showed up to an Ikea I was going undercover at to buy a mattress you did not need just so's my commission would get high enough to make me Employee of the Month. That's sooooo not regular, do you get that?"

"What's the point of being regular in this family?" Dick points out unhelpfully. "And I really did need a new mattress! I mean, it wasn't a coincidence that I got it from you, but it was a coincidence that I really did need something from Ikea."

"Uh huh," Jason says, untrusting just to be irritating (a younger brother's prerogative). "That definitely doesn't make it less weird. C'mon, that hot toddy stand is screaming our names. Your treat."

"Maybe I wouldn't have to be this weird if you guys were less weird," Dick says huffily, all tart and annoying (the oldest brother's prerogative). They skid and slide across the damp fall leaves on the ground, and take a moment to admire the little donkey that's just chilling between two trucks parked by the photo area. A man's carving the Gotham skyline into a pumpkin (complete with a tiny tiny Batman!!), and every bit he cuts out he feeds to the sweet braying thing.

Closer to the hot toddy stand, a woman tried to entice them with some home-baked pies she's selling right out the boot of the car. It's not entirely clear if she's here as an official vendor, or an enterprising Gothamite who had seen the pumpkin patch getting set up who just so happened to have 4 whole pecan pies in her car.

The price ($5.50 a slice) is written in lipstick on the plastic casing, so her origin is still unclear. Jason was still a little tempted though, even if they both turn her down on account of having bellies full of cake.

They do, finally, get to the drinks stand. Dick gets carded, to his tremendous delight, and Jason doesn't, which leaves him feeling a little Adult and a little Superior. To keep that particularly ball rolling, Jason even gallantly pays for their drinks (he stops Dick by forcibly taking his credit card from him and snapping it in half), and he leads them to the row of haystacks that demarcate the limited parking.

They're quiet for a while longer, enjoying the honey and the rye and the warmth and the chill. More and more people are showing up, gone 5 and now the little fall-time wonderland is seeing an uptick in people in smart business suits all heading straight to the hot toddy stand. More and more food trucks are showing up now, too, and it must've been a WE-mandate, that everyone's got stickers on their sides advertising the charity that they're championing.

"Thanks for taking me out," Jason says at long, long last. "I've never been to one of these things, but I gotta say, there's something a little special being surrounded by pumpkins and screaming kids and straw."

That makes Dick smile, warm and buttery like the best pie crust a car boot could contain. "'course, Jay. I didn't go to one of these until I was like 25, and I had such a great time that I wanted you guys to experience it too." He breathes in, then sighs out gustily. "You don't think Timmy dislikes me? He's just regular embarrassed? Because I know what it's like to be embarrassed, 'cos Bruce in socialite mode could make a rock bluch, but I'm not great at.... being disliked."

Jason drains his cup, yeets it, and punches the air when it slams into the trash can, nothing but net. "Dick, you asked to speak to my manager so's you could tell her how impressed you were with my mattress knowledge. You're honestly one of the most embarrassing people on this planet." He gets up, dusts himself off, and turns to look at Dick. "You're also one of the most well-liked, well-loved shitheads to walk the Earth. Stop fussing over Timmy and making Wet Sexy Eyes at his friends and professors, and before you know it you'll get cafeteria access again. Okay?"

That's enough, looks like. Dick is grinning so warmly at him it's genuinely embarrassing. "What," Jason says gruffly, looking away and feeling a little grateful that the cold means his face is already too flushed to give away a blush.

"Nothing," Dick says. "Just feeling some kind of way, on account of my little brother loudly proclaiming that I can be annoying but he loooooves me anyway."

"Kill me again," Jason says with feeling.

"Not on pain of death," Dick says with great cheer. "C'mon, we can't call it a good fall day out without a hayride!"

"I'm not sure if Mr. Scarecrow would agree," Jason eyes Dick up and down, and is relieved to see that his mood's a hell of a lot better than when they'd arrived. "There's got to be a way that's less of a labour law violation."

"Oh, ye of little faith," Dick says, dimple digging in more deeply when he smiles. "In your brother you trust!"

This is how they end up stuffing straw down their shirts, before going over to the overworked (and probably underpaid!!) scarecrow and offering to take turns hauling people around on this man-powered hayride.

Jason will see, later, in the community newsletter that he fervently keeps abreast of, a picture of him and Dick looking like they'd fought a wheatfield, lost, and then immediately started running away down the streets with kids in tow.

God aloud, nobody is as singularly funny and singularly annoying as Dick is. Even just looking at the picture is making Jason grin, which is SO embarrassing!!

(This man is heavy, but he sure sure is his brother).

a/n

thank you to the dc gotcha for gaza gang for organising this, and to em for making this charity commission request (annoying (affectionate) dick)! hope this tickles your fancy, i always enjoy giving dick some type of minor crisis to work through ;)

#whale writing #dick grayson #jason todd

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joltai-showa · 8 days ago

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did you manage to finish your balders gate playthrough? asking cuz i'm very interesting in hearing your overall thoughts of the game

Hi, thanks for the ask!

Nope, unfortunately, I stopped around mid-April because first I had to rush the finale of From Queen to a Pawn by Deidara's birthday, then all of May I worked and studied practically full-time and the only time for prolonged gaming sessions I had was on weekends (which pretty much fully ended up being consumed by HSR and Genshin as I had to finish the events/quests there) and now in the first half of June I have my exam for Chinese language classes, so no time for BG3 again until mid-June.

But I have stopped at around the beginning of Act 3 (passed the gates to Baldur's Gate and left my party in the brothel where the drow twins are), and I've watched a lot of shorts/videos/challanges on this game (lol), so I think I can say a few opinions that will not change much even after I finish my first proper playthrough (one day I am hoping to do an evil one too, currently I am kind of mildly selfish goody-two-shoes and getting all of my companions to their better(?) endings. I am unsure where Karlach's is going to go, with how many new patches Larian made since I got into the game for the first time)

First and foremost, I think that this game truly deserves GOTY that it got in 2023. I do not have much experience with in-depth RPGs such as BG3, I will admit - I am too much of a completionist, meaning I either finish the game for platinum and pretty much never touch it again, or give up half way through, so RPGs are usually too time-consuming for me (plus I am too busy most of the time, so it's easier for me to log into something live-service like Genshin or HSR and do something there for like 20-30 minutes per day to scratch the gamer itch) - but I can certainly say that BG3 is a first game of its kind that combines the variability of older RPGs from 1990s-2000s and the visual quality of the modern AAA games. I love the amount of crazy outcomes that this game already has and how many more there will probably discovered in the future, and my hat is off for the writers at Larian who had to consider all of the possibilities and create them and for the programmers who had to implement all of it (as a hobbyist writer and a programmer myself - unrelated to game design in any capacity, but having some general idea as to how a game like BG3 should be structured - it gives me a headache just thinking how all of the side quests, companion quests and main quest have to be considered in just planning out the layout of the game).

However, I do believe that this variety of the outcomes did come at a cost, but I will talk about this later, during the section about one certain character that I think is the weakest link in the cast.

Now, onto a bunch of other things:

the graphics - mwah😘

generally I am not a particular elitist when it comes to this stuff in video games, I just want the game to look either nice (which pretty much covers all modern games on decent rigs) or be stylized and stick to this style consistently - this is, I think, the main reason why I struggle playing older games (even if they are objectevily better in some gameplay aspects than what is offered nowadays), my brain and eyes get tired too quickly from the dull colors, angular models and clunky UI. if the game manages to stick the landing with this aspect in graphics, then I can get through it (random lore tidbit but I had played Nier Automata fully three times on three separate platforms and my first platinum is on Steam where I finished the game on my old study laptop that could only run the game in 700x680 at 20 FPS on an average location. like. I persevered through it, cuz the game is good)

nowadays I've got a modern gaming laptop that can run the game on high specs, and on my end it BG3 looked great: the locations, the characters, everything. I especially adore the look of the forest areas in Act 1, there's just something so magical about the forest near the druid's Grove, Ethel's swamp pre-reveal (I wish there was a way to do her quest without removing the yassifying filter on the bog lmao, I know it's supposed to be jarring and ugly, but I'd say there's an overabundance of ugly and horryfing locations in BG3, can we have something pretty as a treat) and the surroundings of Rosymourn Monastery. The light is especially amazing in the last one.

But I must admit that at times BG3 sucks a lot in another area that graphics can not improve, no matter how good they are, and I am talking about the design. Overall, I think the game captures the vibe it is going for, but some moments just completely take me out of the immersion.

Firstly, the character design, and not the main/playable characters, but the NPCs. It becomes really apparent that a bunch of characters have the exact same faces as characters in the previous acts, and Act 3 is really guilty of this - I did not even reach Wyrm's Crossing, and had already run into a dozen of NPC clones of characters from previous Acts. It's jarring, to say the least, and seems like a weird choice to make on the dev team's part, considering that they literally have a very extensive character creation engine. My guess is that Tav does not have many scenes that would require lipsync and correct facial motion capture, while NPCs do and are played by a limited number of actors that do numerous roles. However, they do manage to successfully make different appearances for non-humanoid characters that share the same actor (like with Loviatar's priest in Act 1 and Boney in Act 3, Ethel the Hag and Tara Gale's totally-not-a-cat), my guess is that all of team's efforts went on fixing the issues with non-humanoid animations, and then they just kinda decided to leave humanoid NPCs as they were, cuz it's easier. I get that they need to prioritize things, but I still dislike that it's present in the final game.

Then I've got issues with clothing design, and just how limited it feels in the game. Like, there's only so many choices in the game, and half of them looks meh. On top of that, the dye system sucks a lot, as you can't preview what your clothing will look like before you dye it plus you got to buy the fucking things from vendors that may or may not sell them, and that's on top of the limited color palettes. Bruh. I know that the game is already asset-heavy as it is, and there are mods to give you more pretty dresses and such with unlimited colors, but I am not a Betheslop fan, I don't consider an issue in the game solved if some fan made a mod to give something that is missing in the base game.

Another thing that I dislike a lot about BG3 is the general area design philosophy (cough cough Act 2 cough cough), but it's more of a personal pet peeve. I get that some areas are supposed to be gloomy and have twenty tons of human and non-human remains scattered around, but god fucking damn it can we stop with them. At some point. I get it, we are supposed to be on this grand DnD adventure, saving the world from evil gods and their lackeys and such (and I've seen some hardcore DnD fans complain that you can't do such a campaign at only level 12 max, which is... a bizarre thing to complain about. if the game works and is fun, then what's the point in being mad that it doesn't follow wider DnD canon. like. I have very limited experience with DnD, but I am pretty sure that on later levels the spells become Naruto final arc level stupid. which is hard to implement in a video game), but the more piles of human gore you add, the more desensitized I become to it.

AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE ACT 2 BRIGHTER. I COULD NOT PLAY IT UNLESS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. MY SCREEN IS ACTUALLY JUST FUCKING GREEN AND BLACK. It's so fucking stupid, me and my friends just outright call Shadow Cursed Lands "The Depression Lands". And playing the game there is just such a chore. For context, I reached that point in the game twice: once as my first character Makima (yes she was a tiefling) and abandonded the playthrough because Act 2 made me feel like a slow and confused ass; and then as my second character Tav (that may or may not look slightly like Deidara and whose Dream Guardian may or may not look slightly like a chad Obito - yes I am still very mad that the Emperor took off that disguise, I tried telling him to fuck go back, but he started yapping something about the beauty of his natural form. bruh), who is human. You know what's the main difference between humans and tieflings (and pretty much every other race in the game)?

The fucking darkvision.

And BG3 is a very different game when you are crawling through these abandonded dungeons and caves 2949928493 meters below the surface. Because darkvision does not only affect the accuracy of certain spells, no, no, no, it also gives the active character A VISION CONE THAT LIGHTS UP THE DARK AREA IN FRONT OF THEM. AND HUMANS DO NOT HAVE THAT CONE OF LIGHT. I had to walk half of Act 1 with a fucking torch in my hand, and not for any fucking puzzles, but because I COULD NOT SEE SHIT. The Selunite outpost in the Underdark? The torture room across priestess bedroom in the Goblin Camp, and pretty much half of the Goblin Camp interior? Imagine pure black fucking void in their place, and that's what it was like for my Tav without a torch. Oh, you wanna try to get darkvision on your character? Well, it's your lucky day, because Omeluum (or his redneck boyfriend or smth) sells a ring that gives you darkvision as a passive. You forked over 150 or so gold for it?

GET FUCKED LOOOOOOOOL, YOU GOT SCAMMED, BECAUSE THE FUCKING RING IS BUGGED. Yes, the internal calcs of the game DO consider this ring's effect, but it DOES NOT give you a cone of visibility, because it's fucking bugged.

(here's a more visual example, the hidden path to Kua Toa village in the Underdark. first is Astarion's POV with darkvision, second is Tav's POV without darkvision)

I legit spent like a week in such anguish, dreading Act 2, considering that any reduction in visibility in Act 1 made me go actually blind. Thankfully, around the end of Act 1 my sorlock build needed to spec into warlock, and this class actually gives darkvision as one of its passives that FUCKING WORKS, so Act 2 went pretty much as expected, but now I did not follow my ant gamer instinct (that is to explore every corner of the map before proceeding to the main quest) and MY GOD how much enjoyable was that. You mean I could have not beeing dying of Kethric's AIDS the entire time I was supposed to be doing any fucking battle? Oliver's hide and seek?

Point is, with how ubiquotous darkvision is among the playable races and characters, I don't think Larian properly tested their game areas on the darkness aspect, because god does it feel like ass when you do not have darkvision. That, and I think Act 2 should have kicked the player harder into following the main quest and getting drider's pixie or Isobel's blessing, because someone like me was an idiot and made myself go through raw ass fuckery when things could have been so much easier, but I digress.

Another aspect of design that I think is pretty important is the UI design aka the menu design. And it's... servicable, I guess? It works? At first seems cluttered as fuck, and I know there are mods to fix that (again doesn't count if Larian themselves didn't do it) but a few hours later you can kinda get used to it. Turning on/off non-lethal combat is still ass though. Overall, could have been better, but not everyone needs to be Atlus when it comes to UI design. Also it's still absolutely hilarious to me that the trader menu infinite gold/items bug could not be fixed even 8 patches later lol

Then there's the music... meh. It's also just pretty much fine, and unfortunately I can't say that it's anything special. A lot of it is very much "generic DnD adventure music your DM would put in the background", and only a small number of OSTs in the game have managed to capture me somewhat (I Want to Live as a cool easter egg behind Astarion's tent in the forest camp for whenever you get distracted from the game and gotta put your character somewhere to chill for 10-15 minutes and Raphael's Final Act which is one of the coolest boss themes I've heard in the while, both in execution and lyrics - on my second attempt to complete the game, I realized that half of the song pretty much fully references Raphael's opening monologue to the party - and honestly shoutout to Andrew Wincott for actually being the one to sing it, truly great and mind-boggling that it's locked to a side quest). The battle themes are even more forgettable, and I have only been listening to Twisted Force in my free time, because the chanting in the background is pretty cool - not sure what the intention behind it was supposed to be besides "male Slavic-sounding chanting like you have a you've got a warlock coven celebrating evil Ivan Kupala" lol. The composer is Bulgarian, if I remember correctly, so my perspective as Russian should be pretty close to his in that regard.

And now, finally, I think I got to the point the original asker was likely curious about - the plot and the characters!

Now, let's start with the plot, and honestly? I can't really evaluate it as I usually do in this blog (which is bashing Naruto's plot into the dirt like I am a bully dunking someone's head into the toilet), as BG3 is truly a choice-driven (and a bit of luck) RPG. You can be a lot of things - from hot mommy drow sorceress who is racist as fuck to everything one shade different from the color of cement to a goody two shoes gnome rushing into danger to save every poor urchin on your path and become the hero this city does not deserve - so the ending and the plot is determined through player's choices, and I really respect BG3 for this. In a lot of the games I have played in recent years (which particularly concerns Persona games, Genshin and HSR) the creators sure do love to give the player an illusion of choice in both the dialogues and the gameplay choices, likely fearing that the plot/cutscenes sections would bore the player to death as it takes away their time from the gameplay loop they are in in the first place, and to that I say - please, kindly fuck off. I'd rather read a plot-related scene in peace without BEING FUCKING INTERRUPTED ON STUPID IRRELEVANT BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MAKE THE PLAYER'S CHOICE IMPORTANT AS THAT WOULD BREAK YOUR LINEAR STORY AND YOU ARE TERRIFIED OF BEING SEEN AS LINEAR BECAUSE YOU ARE MAKING A VIDEO GAME, AND VIDEO GAMES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE INTERACTIVE. Like, for fuck's sake, stop doing that - it isn't fun, it takes up your and player's time for useless shit, and variety is hard. Everyone knows that. There is no shame in keeping things linear if this is the best for the story you want to tell.

Okay, quick angry rant moment over, back to BG3 and Larian. In this particular case I think it's a tad more important to give the player the freedom to make their own story within the setting created by the writers rather than shoehorning everyone into the same outcome with slight differences while marketing itself as an in-depth RPG, and BG3 does this very well, which is why, I think, it certainly succeeds on the plot front given the format that the story is presented through.

Now, this does not mean I do not believe there are no intended outcomes for the main and side quests? No, and off my understanding of the game and the discussions I have seen, BG3 is certainly much more barren if you commit to a full evil route, pretty much confirming that the writers do expect the player not to be a complete murderhobo lol.

I can not say much for Durge playthrough as I have not done it yet (gotta say OG Durge design is fire and it's sucha a shame that stat wise Dragonborns are literally the worst race in the game lmao), but on the general Tav playthrough everything's... fine? I've seen some people complain how everyone for some reason trusts and relies on this random dude/dudette who just got yoinked into the plot to save the world, but I don't find it such an issue, I mean, this IS the player character, they NEED to experience the game to the fullest, you can make the stats and dialogue checks only so hard without making the game a chore to go through. Again, the game offers you a variety of choices to make the plot go as you want, and I think Larian would have been shooting themselves in the foot from game design perspective if they also went ham on taking in Tav's (perceived) background, as now they would not only need to write and code more shit to include Tav's background into the game's interaction with them, but also restricting the player from making the choices WHILE playing the game.

After the protagonist we've got the companion quests, and honestly? I really like how the common theme among them is "what is best for them is not what they want", like Shadowheart's servitude to Shar, Astarion's desire to complete the ascention ritual, Lae'zel's general githyanki thing with Vlaakith, Gale's godhood, yada yada. This obviously doesn't apply to the butchered characters (cough cough Wyll cough), the fanservice cameos (Jaheira and Minsc) and the later additions to the roster (Karlach and Halsin), but the common theme is certainly there, and I think it's a very cool one, as it pretty much guarantees a visible character progression for the companions and gives the player agency in achieving that "good ending" for these characters. From what I have seen, the writers generally do a very good job of showcasing the journey of these characters, like Shadowheart showing her mellower and kinder side, Astarion becoming less of an asshole and Lae'zel choosing what is right for her people (and her friends lol) instead of what had been instilled in her by Vlaakith, etc etc.

Minthara is a bit of a weird case, as she is originally supposed to be an evil route exclusive character (opposite of Wyll and good route, I guess, considering Karlach would become a companion later in development), but several patches down the line it became possible to recruit her while not killing everyone in the Grove by simply knocking her out with non-lethal attacks in the fight against the goblin leaders. In my opinion, this is a good enough compromise, as first timers would probably not think to do this (quest name KILL THE GOBLIN LEADERS probably implies all three of them need to be dead, and the other two need to be dead dead for the plot to proceed), thus going the original route with her being present only in evil route, while players that are more in the know can have the gang all together without pushing someone away and (more importantly) locking themselves out of some juicy quest rewards (such as Alfira's magic robe that she gives after saving the prisoners from Moonrise. yes that's the single best robe for any magical build in the game). Overall, I do not think this change takes away too much from Minthara's character arc, as in my understanding the main difference between the Act 1 good route and bad route is that you just knock her out and don't see her until Act 2, while on the evil path you raid the Grove and then she sits on your face and almost kills you (hot), and then you meet her the same way in Act 2. She still remains on her "betrayed by the Absolute and wants revenge" path either way, which makes sense in both cases, and keeps her arc with the majority of the rest of the characters. It does make it weird that you can have Mr. and Ms. Nice Guys like Wyll and Karlach in the same camp with Minthara "Let's murder those ten year olds for slightly disrespecting us" Baenre lmao. I mean. Most Tavs would probably accept Scratch and Owlbear Cub in their camps, so it would be unsurprising if down the line they actually got someone wild and feral.

Okay, done with my general view on the companion quests, just some more stuff regarding the main plot and then we can turn to my opinions on the characters.

Act 1 is truly something magical and unique, imho. It's a sort of lightning in a bottle that showcases the best of what BG3 can offer. I played through it fully - meaning all side quests and such - twice, and before starting it for the second time I was afraid I was gonna get bored, but I wasn't, not even for a moment (even when Astarion whom I was going to romance started reacting "Ugh, you again🙄🙄🙄" at my Tav's appearance. darling please I'm only taking the party on a slightly less assholish path, why are you like this). Maybe it's the effect of Act 1 being originally the Early Access plot, or maybe it's the combined fun of learning the battle system, getting to know the companions, chatting with NPCs and exploring the beautiful world of Act 1. In any case, Act 1 is just so fascinatingly interactive, and it would seem that the characters can react to any of the player's decisions. It's just amazing, and I wholeheartedly think BG3 in Act 1 is a 10/10 game, it's clear how much effort went into it.

Which makes it all the more apparent how much more limited and limiting Act 2 and 3 feel. In my understanding and based off the discussion I've seen, that's a common line with Larian games - start off incredibly strong and then deflate over time, particularly at the final act - which could be seen in their previous game (Divinity: Original Sin 2, right?). Now, I've already talked about how annoying Act 2 felt to me mechanically, but dear god thematically it also feels like it drags on for far too long. I get it, I get it, Depression Lands, everyone either died a horrible death or has turned into a zombie, undead assholes running around and ruining everyone's day, but seriously even the Last Light Inn or Moonrise Towers post Ketheric-battle feel like a sludge of dreariness - it is the same and it goes on for like 20-30 hours of play time, and after the first 10 hours I am absolutely done with everything already, I just want to go back to Act 1 and touch the green grass and blue water. I feel like the Thorms not named Kethric or Isobel could have been cut out entirely and nothing of particular value would have been lost - yes, they are horribly messed up and rancid freaks, but I think I got that memo from everyone in Moonrise, AND I can't really do anything for either the nurses or the patrons, so I'm pretty much stuck with the choices of either letting them live as insane zombies or killing them. It's an environmental way of telling the stories of those who had their lives ruined by Kethric's madness, but we ALREADY have the Selunite resistance side quest and other smaller interactive things showing this (and Oliver in a lesser extent, as he's connected with lifting the curse quest). I guess they are pretty fun bosses and Malus has some good gear on him, but damn I did not feel any fun when going to them compared to stuff like the Underdark quests in Act 1.

Can't say too much regarding Act 3 as I did not go through it fully, but off what I have read, there's a repeating problem of quests simply feeling unfulfilling if they were to end in Act 3. Collect the clown parts across the entire Act? Mediocre reward. Mol vanished at the end of Act 2? Yeah, she's just back in Act 3 lol. The exploding toys quest? I guess Gortash's just an asshole or smth. A lot of quests start feeling like a fart in a puddle, they start off cool enough, but then are just kinda resolved?? My understanding of the issue is that Larian was so busy lining up the flags for events and how they are affected by players' previous decisions that the writers literally had no time to work the side quests out, and in general all of the efforts went into making Baldur's Gate a seamless city that feels alive. It's cool, I get it, and I like it, but I would have also preferred if other parts of the game did not suffer for it.

And, of course, the interactivity falls dramatically the further you go into the game. If the characters in Act 1 reacted to pretty much everything, then by Act 3 you gotta pray that all of them would react to a major event (looking at you, Karlach).

Overall, I think me and my friends have had a very similar experience with this game, and I think it's fair to presume others did too: Act 1 in BG3 made me want to play it for 10 hours straight without food or sleep. Act 2 and 3 made me want to turn off the laptop after 2-3 hours of play time because it was starting to feel like a chore. It does not make the game as overall bad, it just shows that Act 1 is something Larian could not simply recreate with time and resources that they had.

(and to be fair I classify myself as an exploration gremlin and can't return to the main plot until I have explored everything already available to me. I just can't force myself, I need to see everything there is, and Act 1 is capable of satisfying that itch with its side content, while Act 2 and 3... well... they are struggling)

okay sorry but the following section is going to be really curt and angry because I spent three hours writing it and then tumblr being a piece of dogshit did not save any of it, so we're going to be running through as fast as we can while I remember what I wrote.

characters. minor characters in particular. npcs.

Raphael and Ethel are fucking amazing because a) their actors fucking served b) they feel like an organic part of this gritty and magical world. they are a part of it, and the main characters are only passerby in their own lives.

can't say anything regarding Orin and Gortash as of now, but they seem like they are okay. from what I have seen Orin is a decent representation of what growing up in a murder cult is going to do to you, while Gortash is a refreshing pragmatic evil. also seems pretty funny to me because a) played by Lucius Malfoy's actor, so I keep imagining him in that wig b) narrator calls him handsome young man meanwhile he looks like he is 40, smoked and drank for 20 of it and is going through a divorce c) my friend called the ship between him and Durge "Doordash"

Ketheric, Isobel and Aylin. cool story line in theory, sucks ass in practice, feels like it's been forgotten by the writers who were too busy with Act 1 and 3. Act 2 should have focused on them more instead of more bullshit about curse terrible. what I personally imagine to fix it: more story about Ketheric, his wife, his daughter and his devotion to Selune. the devotion starting to waver when his wife dies. Aylin and Isobel meeting, falling in love, how, when, where, what they did on their dates and such. Ketheric's views on this relationship and his mission to Selune in relation to Aylin. how Isobel fucking died (illness? accident? set-up by either Shar or Myrkul?). Ketheric's descent into darkness and Shar, while Aylin at the same time starts messing with her semi-godhood, both trying to bring Isobel back. Aylin punished by Selune for that, explaining why she feels so weak in the gameplay and the story, her ending up being captured by Ketheric like that. Isobel's return to living, her horror to seeing things after a hundred years. parallels between her and Ketheric, as she tries to bring Aylin back to life (not knowing she's kept in Shar's backrooms) after losing her family, her home and her love while protecting the Last Light inn. how Isobel's will is stronger than Ketheric's when she decides to stop messing with death because it would be against the teaching of Selune that both her and Aylin followed. yada yada, you get it, this plot line disappointed me a lot.

other npcs - fine, I like them enough. Kagha is good for what she is, tiefling refugees are okay, I like Dammon a lot, mushroom colony is funky and cool, the gnome plot line is pretty cool, I like the dude you pick off the windmill, followers of other DnD gods are crazy and it's funny to me, githyanki are generational haters and I like their armor a lot, they are cool, Emperor is obviously a manipulative asshole and I am unsure why the fandom is even debating this, he's buttering you up just to survive and get what he wants, anyway can he go back to the hot dilf look I made for him. don't think anyone in Act 3 stood out to me just yet, but I liked the ringmaster in the circus a lot. not sure if they are supposed to be a woman or a drag queen, but they are giving me Lala-chan from Persona 5 vibes, and I fuck with that.

Scratch and Owlbear baby are lovely. I will die for the little Owlbear.

OKAY FINALLY WE ARE AT THE COMPANION CHARACTERS!

again, disclaimer, as I did not see the end of a lot of these guys' arcs, but have a general idea of what to expect, so my judgements are made based on that.

some general info: both on my first and second playthroughs my party consisted of my Tav, Astarion, Shadowheart and Karlach. It was kinda ass to play when I was a ranger (and I didn't use the build guides just yet, so Shadowheart was stuck with the ass trickery domain) - practically no spell casters and too much stealth needed, but on my second playthrough with my sorlock Tav the party was pretty balanced and fun. Not even sure how I am supposed to play the game without the Astarion-Shadowheart core as both provide insane utility in being able to lockpick shit and spam guidance in the stat checks, but whatever. I think that's an important info to know because I do not switch them out for any of the scenes - the rest of the party remains in camp, but whenever I return or go for a long rest, I do try to talk with them all and see their reactions to the ongoing events/updates to their personal quests.

Welp, without further ado, let's get into it, but first to get some of the easy stuff out of the way.

Jaheira and Minsc.

Both of them are legacy characters and return from the previous entries in the Baldur's Gate series. As I did not play them, I can't really say their appearances make me feel anything - Jaheira is a really cool lady with lots of history which you can clearly see and Minsc… can't even really make sense of him, but my impression of him is some sort of weird comic relief dude? I dunno, I haven't even met him in my playthrough and only see his reactions and dialogues in the Youtube shorts that I get. I did see a lot of heartwarming stories of how people were almost brought to tears when meeting Jaheira after 20 years have passed since they first met her in the original game, and I think it's really cool that a cameo like that got introduced pretty organically and does not feel too fanservicy, at least when it comes to Jaheira. I like her, she's pretty cool, and I love her voice and a bit unusual accent (speaking as someone for whom English is their second language)

Halsin

Ehhhhh… bruh.

So, from what I know, Halsin is kinda in the same territory as Karlach - wasn't a companion character in Early Access, but people begged to make the bear man a recruitable guy to totally not fuck this big strong hunky druid, and Larian obliged, which is how we end up with him in the party. Problem is, you get Karlach in early Act 1, meanwhile you do not even get to meet Halsin until mid to late Act 1, and he becomes a playable character only by the fucking end of Act 2, and that's after you do all the quests connected with saving Thaniel (I FUCKING HATE THE PROTECT THE PORTAL QUEST ALL MY HOMIES HATE PROTECT THE PORTAL THANK YOU LARIAN FOR THIS RANDOM ASS AOE CHECK WTF IS THAT I LOST 5 HOURS OF PROGRESS BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID QUEST), and what do you get for it? Absolutely fucking nothing in Act 3, because Halsin truly has nothing to do in the story after saving the Depression Lands. He's kinda just stuck by your side with his character goals' fully complete, and can't offer anything to the story besides horny bear shapeshifter wants to mate with you + hahaha bear sex scene + Shadowheart being omega horny for him for some reason (not hating, I find it really funny, and it's a pretty fun way to charactarize Shadowheart's tastes besides her being playersexual) + the fivesome sex scenes in the brothel. I am not saying that BG3 is bad for offering the player these choices, but does it really justify him being a party slot in the game? Even in the full game he remains a glorified NPC with an okay plot line, but overall I feel like I am wasting my time whenever I come up to talk with him - he is not offering anything special, and his dialogue options feel so limited, like they were rushed at the last possible moment.

Minthara

God do I love good old Minthy.

I talk a lot about villains on this blog, and one of the worst writing crimes that I strongly believe a writer can commit is woobifying a complete asshole war criminal that did messed up things on their own volition and found joy in them/believed themselves justified to bring harm to innocents. Yes, something in their past can be incredebly traumatic, and yes, you can make the reader/player bawl their eyes out with their backstory, but it does not change the fact that this does not make them justified in harming unrelated people just because they could - it is a reprehensible thing to do, and do not try to gaslight your reader/player it is not. Yes, some kinder characters in the story can find themselves sympathizing with the struggles of that one person (should they properly learn of their past, that is), but a lot more people would still hate them for it, and it should reflect in their reactions to this person. But most importantly, this person should show this sort of wickedness in them, because, once you did something as messed up as what evil guys tend to do, there should be some justification in their mind, some reason why the did it - even if to us, as the readers/players, this might seem like an excuse, to that character it should be ENOUGH to justify what they did, it should tie in the core values and beliefs that they have.

Okay, side rant over, back to Minthara. I think Larian did a great job with her, because even after being saved by the Scooby Gang, Minthy remains a wicked bitch, for the lack of better description lol. She is a child of drow culture through and through, and even being betrayed by the Absolute does not change her ruthless core values - she still wishes to scheme and powergrab if such an option is on the table, which makes her pretty similar to Astarion in that regard. While I think Astarion does this more so out of his own trauma with Cazador and to forever remain at the top of the food chain so that no one can harm him again, Minthara does this out of her own beliefs that weakness is unacceptable, and the strong are the ones fitted to rule the weak. And you know what? Good for her, I love a good evil woman in power. In the story where most companions are trying to break free of the messed up nature of their past/society/religion, Minthy is a sort of breath of fresh air - she is aware of how different her people's beliefs are different to the other Underdark people and surface-level dwellers, and yet she chooses to stay true to the ruthless origins of hers.

I do have some questions to how the party reacts to her joining the gang if you are doing a good run, but I would not go to the lengths of saying the plot excuses her for her actions, because a) let's be fucking real most of the companions are not innocent cutie patooties themselves, so they would not be as horrified of Minthara's actions because to them it would have been like another second Thursday of the month b) Minthara arrives at the camp after we see her being tortured into insanity by the people she originally served, not trying to get a world record in all war crimes described by Geneva convention, and that would tug the heart strings of the "good aligned" characters, so, overall, I think BG3 does a good enough job of balancing the evil and the forgiveness factor when it comes to Minthara. I do think that "good" characters like Wyll and Halsin should be a lot more confrontational about inviting her at our place, but both of these guys have so many issues with their writing that I do not consider this to be a problem when thinking of Minthara.

And, finally, Minthara is just so much fucking fun. It's not some sort of objective criteria, but god I have so much fun interacting with Minthara. If I were to translate it into Naruto terms, think of Hidan: he has zero fucking backstory, he literally kills for his mysterious god of murder, and there is no justification provided to him if we think about it from traumatic point of view. He still remains one of the most fun villains Naruto ever produced, because he is kinda stupid, he is hot-blooded, foul-mouthed, an absolute batshit crazy psycho that has a lot of funny and absurd interactions with his fellow Akatsuki members (a lot of whom are the exact trauma-driven sad-backstory-dumping characters, which makes a funny contrast with him). Going back to Minthara - any interaction with her is absolute unhinged (courtesy of Minthara herself or her random Menzoberranzan stories), and every time I return to camp I can't wait to see what Minthy has to say regarding our situation. Like, I come up to talk about Orin's shapeshifting, and there's an option to randomly accuse Minthara of being a sussy impostor, and she INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION, NO SECOND THOUGHTS starts acting like she is Orin in disguise, and that's the funniest shit I have seen in Act 3 so far. She single-handedly makes the statement "fictional discrimination in DnD is hilarious" true with her interactions with Gale. Like, I am dying of laughter any time she talks about the wizard with hard R, or when she informs him he has an aura of a third son (in drow culture families kill any male kids beyond the second one as they are considered useless even for breeding). Point is, Minthara is evil, regardless of her past, and she revels in this evil, and that's what makes her such a joy to hang around with.

And, of course, Emma Gregory's voice is absolutely phenomenal. Minthara has such a captivating voice thanks to her, and I seriously recommend those who do even not enjoy Minthara as a character to just listen to Emma Gregory play her in some Youtube compilation, I promise it's worth it.

Anyway, I think that's it for the kind of optional/"hard to get because you need to go through bajillion plot hours to get them" companions, so let's get to the main cast!

I'll start with the characters I've actually interacted the most, which would be my old and trusty party: Astarion, Shadowheart and Karlach.

Now, Astarion, my darling Astarion. I am an Astarion girlie through and through, most of my friends who have played BG3 are Astarion girlies as well, so overall, expect a pretty strong bias in his favor in the upcoming sections. I'm in general a big fan of his design, and men with blonde/white hair activate something in my neurons lol

In my honest (if controversial) opinion, Astarion is one of the best, if not outright the best character in BG3. Now, it's not that it's an uncommon belief among Astarion fans, but rather... I am not sure how to phrase this better, but I have seen quite a bit of resentment aimed Astarion's way from the fans of other companion characters. I am not going to point fingers at any particular group, but it's very much noticable when you spend extended periods of time in BG3-adjacent discussions. The issue essentially boils down to people disliking how much content "the vampire twink" gets while "being not that <think of any descriptive adjective> when compared to <the speaker's favorite companion>" and how Larian endlessly feeds the Astarion fans while leaving <speaker's favorite companion> fans starved.

The issue here, I think, ultimately comes down to a vicious cycle of player feedback and Larian's focus on what things to improve in the game: Astarion, at a baseline, appeals to a lot of players be it for the looks/personality/interactions with the players/etc, so a lot of people demand more of Astarion. Larian, following the feedback they receive, focuses their resources on writing and recording more scenes for Astarion, which makes them prioritize other companions less, and then more Astarion content attracts more future Astarion fans, and the cycle repeats. I'd say the solution would have been for Larian to focus on all the companions equally, but with BG3 being as complicated as it is? They'd actually be spread too thin, and that would probably to the detriment of both Astarion and non-Astarion fans.

(and for a certain someone no amount of attention being taken away from Astarion would be enough to fix them, but that's for later🤗)

Anyway, I think what makes Astarion stand out from the rest of the cast is two things: Neil Newbon working his ass off and Astarion's character arc being something in between of all the other characters.

This is not to say other actors failed at bringing their respective characters to life, it's just that Neil Newbon went so above and beyond with Astarion it's just sort of unfair to compare them. I think I remember Neil mentioning that Astarion's story actually hits close to home, so to speak, when he was receiving an award for best character perfomance or smth, and you can kind of see it in a lot of "emotional" scenes concerning Astarion. And while Astarion's trauma and drama are deeply engaging, Neil is also amazing when it comes to portraying Astarion's casual evilness, giddy sadism and overall drama queeness, which makes for an endless amount of memeable and hilarious moments. In that regard Astarion is sort of normie's best choice for the gritty humor of DnD world (because true "unhinged casual evil" fans know that the true winner in this category is Minthara😘). Overall, both the script and the actor are doing their goddamn best to make this character fun and memorable for the player - and you can clearly see how much the creators love him, and I think that's great.

But back to Astarion's character arc: I find the contrast between him and the rest of the cast quite interesting. On one hand, you've got people tightly wrapped into their own religion/culture and at a certain point they must confront it and become disillusioned of it, which forces them to reevalute their ideals and goals (Shadowheart, Lae'zel); on the other hand, you have guys who have been deeply wronged in the past, and now they are searching for a way to fix what had happened to them to live, what they believe, a better life (Gale, Karlach, Wyll). The main difference between these two groups is that the first type changes suddenly and drastically - all they believed in is ripped from their own hands, and now they must make sense of their life somehow - while the second type remains a lot more true to themselves, and they are simply reassessing what is truly important for them. (Feel free to correct me, as I am much more familiar with the characters of the first group and might me making assuptions regarding the second group.)

And the thing about Astarion - he kind of does not fit either of those types. Yes, he is similar to the second group in the fact that he had gone through something that haunts him to this day, but, unlike the others, Astarion does not remain a simple victim of his circumstances. He is vengeful, he is spiteful, and he feels if not entitled, but at least justified in harming the weak, be it for his selfish goals or pure entertainment. Astarion as a character feels raw and painful because the hell he went through does not make him sad and pitable, it did the opposite to him: turned him angry, hateful and entrapped him in the same mindset Cazador lives in. If he is allowed to proceed through with his plans and desires, then we simply get Ascended Astarion (whom I am going to call Asshole Astarion from now on, because the word Ascended sucks to write) - a carbon copy of Cazador in all but name and looks, the very thing Astarion despises.

But Astarion's path to a happier life is not about him getting all of his life and beliefs challenged in some sort of giant betrayal from the higher entity he believes in - hi Lae'zel and Shadowheart! - but is a collection of smaller things over the course of all three Acts that culminates in him making the choice to either proceed with the ritual and become someone who he thinks will never be hurt or used again, or to remain himself and breaking the cycle of vampire master and spawn. I am unsure if the game keeps track of the choices you make over the playthrough and how you challenge Astarion's views on himself, others and his freedom, but I dunno, it always feels so rewarding when Astarion does drop his suave demeanor and is surprised by the humane things he was deprived of for hundreds of years and how it might not be an end of the world to show kindness to others lol.

Overall, I think what I love the most about Astarion is how the game, ultimately, allows him to be a fun evil bastard, but also does not shy away from showing how tragedy and suffering might not make a person better, and how it is still possible to escape the pain of your past and pursue something better, even if it is hard and takes a lot of time. I respect BG3 for putting two important things in the plot: Asshole Astarion (whom I do not think I am ever going to see in my own playthrough LOL god he's such an insufferable asshole) and Cazador's inner monologue regarding his hatred of what he had become. I don't particularly care for Cazador as a character, and he can die twenty times over for every rat Astarion had eaten, but I believe both of these things tie in nicely together to show how Astarion's personal quest is about dealing with cycle of abuse, and how, at some point, Cazador too seeked to destroy his master that had made him suffer and become someone stronger than him, and, in the end, became the worst version of himself, which is what Asshole Astarion mirrors. You can not win by continuing the cycle of abuse. Are you going to become whole by escaping it or breaking it? Unlikely, but it will certainly make you and those around you happier, even if it is harder.

(also now that I think about it but Astarion's backstory is literally be an evil lawyer, fuck around and find out, become an evil(ish) vampire. that's. that's literally Dio Brando. we just reinvented Dio Brando, but in DnD)

Let's get to Shadowheart! I'd say she is the closest thing that BG3 has to a protagonist if we assume Tav/Durge got splattered during the nautiloid crash lol - out of all the companions, she has the highest chance of surviving all the bullshit the plot throws at the party, considering she's got the Emperor pokeball and is immune to Depression Lands.

She's pretty fun, all things considered. I really like her design, and Selunite Shadowheart slays🫦it's also pretty funny how absolutely not evil she is the moment you start to become closer to her - that's one of the biggest softies you'll ever meet, and you can clearly see her putting up the front to look cool and emo as Shar's Chosen or smth lol. Yeah, yeah, bestie, you're the terrifying Dark Justiciar, now can you please stop cuddling with the Owlbear, the baby is probably hungry after you've been hugging him for the last three hours.

I can't say anything certain regarding her ending, because it's one of the things I did not look up just yet, so I can not comment on what's her deal is and how her parents' fate will affect my perception of her. Overall, I'd say she's a good representation of what a cult (and no, not the tentacle brain one lmao) can do to a person, and how beneath all the brainwashing Shadowheart remains a very much kind person. You can't break her out Shar's teachings in a day, and she is going to do terrible things if there is nothing to challenge her views on the world and her religion, but, considering how her Nightsong point system works, I'd say she herself remains someone who would do what is right rather than what is being demanded of her. It's kind of a story about not being unsalvagable from the teaching forced upon someone's mind.

Karlach!

God I love Karlach. I find it harder to be interested in the good-aligned companions, mostly because the moment the plot introduces something interesting about them, they quickly go from goody-two-shoes and liwwle cutie pies into someone less morally white, but Karlach is the one to manage to keep her "wholesome" thing with being fun to be around. She's abrasive and hot-heated, but you can still feel the heart of gold beneath all those muscles (even if there really is no heart lol). I think the reason she works for me is that she is not exactly a paragon of virtue, and she will likely do messed-up shit to people that may or may not deserve it if they get in the way of her people - which would be the BG3 gang. It also helps that we know she is not completely innocent, she spent 10 years fighting a war a side in which she was forced to join - Karlach is willing to do what is necessary to survive. Still, there are steel hard principles ingrained in her, and she is not willing to compromise on them - and she'll make sure everyone knows about it lol. But most of all, I think Karlach takes one of the themes you can see in Astarion's arc - freedom to live your life the way you want after spending so long in misery - and she explores it in a different direction: Karlach wants nothing to do with Hells, and her only goal is to get her life straightened out and enjoy everything she had been deprived of, like hugs, parties and other innocent fun. It's really powerful to see her not fall into despair even after being told she will not be able to live in the surface world, because she's tired of not being able to enjoy her life. And even when she does kind of set out for revenge, similarly to Astarion, I'd say Karlach is less about getting back at the man who betrayed her, wooping Gortash's ass is kinda necessary for all of her buddies to survive. She's just a giant blazing ray of sunshine, and I really, really love her earnest nature, especially in comparison to Shadowheart's emo phase and Astarion's drama lmao.

I do think Karlach could have been better. You can see how much stuff is still missing from her companion, like her reactions to certain events that everyone has except her, and I believe I have read she was a really late addition to the roster, maybe even added later, in the full game like Halsin? She also gets along with Wyll waaaay to easily, there should be a lot more horn ramming around these parts between the two. Would have helped set up both of these guys, but honestly, I like Karlach as she is. It's really impressive Larian made her work in such a tight period of time.

Okay, now we are leaving the familiar waters for me, and entering things that I know based on the camp interactions/stuff seen on the social media, so bear with me here and try not to throw pitchforks too hard.

Lae'zel! Lae'zel is pretty cool. Originally when I started playing the game, I did not really like her much (and somehow even missed her while exploring the forest in Act 1..... it took me until finding Karlach to learn you can actually recruit Lae'zel before entering the Grove💀I assumed she'd be in that Creche thing or something. I am still better than my Doordash shipping friend - she learned Gale needs to eat your magical artifacts throughout Act 1, so she just... did not come up to the portal. She literally ignored the poor guy. Bro imploded in that rock. Task failed successfully?), but over time she grew on me. I think a lot of first time players passes her over due to her design (which is... well, fair, I suppose, but you get used to githyanki looks) and how overly pushy and aggressive she seems, even in comparison to other companions. Only down the line you realize that Lae'zel is very much "woke" by gith standards and open-minded when it comes to the istiks. Seriously, my perspective changed so hard after I read someone's post on Tumblr describing the events of Act 1 from her POV (you're 22 years old, you end up in a weird parallel universe with creatures that look uglier than the last, you doubt their intelligence, but then all of you learn you're sick with COVID or something, but it's fine, because you know where to find a proper doctor, you try to explain these things the importance of vaccines, social distancing and wearing masks, but these guys collectively start yapping something about looksmaxxing, how vaccines makes frog gay and how tomatoes are bad for your skin, and why the angle of your jaw is the most important thing ever. you bear through their bullshit, because you are the kindest of your kind, but fucking hell do they test your patience. and the worst thing? the stupid snake oil sniffers turn out to be RIGHT AND THE VACCINES ARE ACTUALLY EVIL AND THE DOCTORS WANT TO KIL--), and I realized that my girlie is really struggling to deal with it all, especially considering how quickly she comes face to face with the knowledge that everything she was taught was fake. It makes me proud to see her ferocious nature being aimed at the right thing, and finding proper companionship with the rest of the gang. Overall, Lae'zel is very much ride or die, and she's the type to slit another's throat if she thinks her people are in danger, which makes her really cool!

(also Lae'zel and Shadowheart should bond over their trauma from Vlaakith and Shar and then they should make out. just saying!)

She's also got a kind of cute side to her, with her being unfamiliar with some creatures and words of Faerun, which is so funny? But she is thrown into a completely unfamilar situation, and I think she's doing pretty good for what she was given lol. Anyway, she's both cool and cute, and pretty much always a girlfailure, and I can respect that lol.

Also I am a firm believer that Larian casted Devora Wilde for Lae'zel's role because this was the only companion character who would be losing most of the actor's original features, as Devora looks like a fucking goddess and literally the most beautiful woman you'll see in your life, and if they did not make Lae'zel look like a humanized frog, all players would have been romancing Devora's character and no one else would have stood a chance lmao.

Gale is... interesting. Not in a negative sense, it's just that among the companions I perceive positively and is slightly interested into what their deal is, I just can not make myself imagine romancing him in particular. Is it because of the Mystra thing? I dunno, I spent a few camp events with him, and yeaaaah he mentions his ex a lot, which is uhhhhh... tho to be fair if my ex was some sort of god, especially something connected with my domain, I would also not be able to shut up about them and just be over with them lmao. Is it the vibes? He's kind of giving me vibes of a good chill buddy you can chat about pretty much anything, and neither of you are going to be throwing your baggage at each other (can't exactly say the same about other companions lol). He's a nerd, he's a loser, he's got a cool cat slash mom that keeps his life together, omg he's just like me fr. Jk, but you get the idea. I'd love to have him in the party, but I will not be sad if I do not get to romance him, I'd like him as a good if slightly sarcastic friend in the group.

Can't say I make much sense of his arc, because his ex is a toxic bitch that told him he should kill himself NOW (thunder roars), and he's kind of struggling with surviving until he meets his one true love aka the elder brain with the crown of Karsus on top of it. I kinda wanna kick him in the head for not learning anything about messing with dangerous artifacts, but what can you ask of a wizard (Minthara's wizard with hard R).

And now we get to the one and only, the character I have been alluding this entire post - Wyll.

Fucking hell, Wyll sucks. He just sucks as a character. I am seriously confused how the hell are all the previous main companions exist on the same plane as Wyll does. Karlach was a last minute addition, and yet it feels like more effort was put into her when there ever was in Wyll.

So, let's break it down. Why is Wyll a bad character? Specifically a character, not a person, out of all the companions he is probably the most "good" aligned of the lot. The answer is very simple: he is boring, and there is nothing worse for a fictional character in a story such as BG3 than being boring. None of the dialogue I have seen of him is interesting to me, he always says the thing that I can predict from a mile away, he does not have an interesting character arc - woah, he took a deal with the devil to be a good hero for all, woah, who could have expected that!! and woah, he followed through on this plan!! oh, but the devil fucked him over in the deal (literally several side quests in the game btw, so what's new being brought to the table, exactly?), and now his father disowned him(?), he's been forced to pursue an innocent tiefling and then he gets the devil/tiefling outlook for failing to follow through on his contract. Is he angry at his father for that? Is there still some tension and friction between him and Karlach, consindering how long both of them saw the other as the enemy? He's been forced to grow horns and tail, surely this would be most upsetting experience for him that would make him slightly grumpy, at least?

Naaaaaah, he isn't mad at his dad, he's pretty much instantly chill with Karlach, and he gets used to the horns after like one Long Rest. I have a question to whoever was writing Wyll: why are you so afraid of any mere notion of confrontation and conflict? Why is Wyll so damn fucking passive about everything? Why does he go along so easily with things? Why the fuck is it only Mizora - an obvious bad guy and a devil, for fuck's sake - capable of getting something out of Wyll that jolts me awake when I am sitting through a cutscene for his quest? Why, unless you are going for an absurd murderhobo run, Wyll's responses will always follow the structure "We completed thing A. We learned thing B. Let us use it to complete thing C. Let's go!" over. and over. and over again. Seriously, I fucking told you your father is in grave danger, and your reaction is "Welp. Let's go to Moonrise Towers. Oh, they tadpoled him? Damn... Welp, let's go to Baldur's Gate."

Like, I am not hating on Wyll for being a "good" aligned character, even if they are not exactly my cup of tea, but such a character MUST have a rigid inner core that would CONSTANTLY come into conflict with the world around them/other companions that are a lot less moral than Wyll is. You can't just shove Mr. Good Guy who is not going to change as a person much over the course of the plot and then NOT give him some interesting relationships and conflicts with other characters, and vice versa, because otherwise you end up with Wyll - a character awkwardly stuck doing pretty much nothing in all of his aspects as a character. And from my understanding, this guy somehow manages to be a background character in his own fucking quest, with the focus being taken completely away from him, and if this is true, holy fucking shit how this was allowed to ship.

And the only thing worse than Wyll's state in the game is the people defending it in the fandom. "No, no, no, you gotta give him time, he's getting so good down the line" - Steam tells me I have over 160 hours of play time in BG3, and NOT ONCE did Wyll manage to get me interested, neither with his dialogue nor with his plot line, contrary to every single damn companion in the game. What, should I wait until 200 hours to get that mysterious good Wyll arc?

"His romance is sooooo good" - yeah, and you can have a classy romance with courtship and dances and such WHILE HAVING AN INTERESTING CHARACTER ATTACHED TO IT, not an equivalent of soggy loaf of bread to be chewed in the middle of the night when you've got a fridge full of delectable Michelin star dishes that are the other companions. Oh, yeah, and it's a bad argument from the start, because not only is Wyll competing against the other characters to be romanced, but also because the character needs to OFFER something to the player before they run up to them to rizz them up, and Wyll fails to deliver literally anything with his quest.

"Well, at least Wyll would treat me well, unlike <another companion>" - what sort of argument is that? Are we 5 or something, are we having an argument in kindergarteners' sandbox over who's totally not imaginary friend is cooler? They are FICTIONAL characters, BG3 is a work of FICTION, why are you trying to drag something irl into this? It's fun to explore because it's safe and fictional. Obviously I would never date an undead vampire with an ego, because he would make me fucking sickly and anemic real quick, of course I would not date a horny girl with an engine for a heart, because I like having my faces not bloody melted into nothing. "Wyll would treat me well" literally has nothing to do with anything.

"People do not appreciate Wyll enough because they are racist" - yes, I wish I was making up some of the takes I have witnessed over the years. I'd love to chug whatever the hell the people claiming this did, because that must be the wildest thing ever. While yes, there might be some assholes who will not give Wyll a chance due to the color of his skin, they are the minority, and most people would crash and burn into Wyll's pathetic execution which is enough to bore anyone to death and make them wish they were talking with another companion, but hey, good job making a blanket statement about a pretty large chunk of the fanbase :D

Okay, rant over. I have no fucking clue how did we even arrive at Wyll being released in such a state, especially compared to other companions. Off the information that I know of, it would seem we had a much better and more coherent version of this character in the Early Access, with this guy being kind of full of himself and more so playing a hero rather than being one, and it's honestly amazing to me how everything I hear about Wyll in Early Access is somehow better than the final game. It feels like player feedback suggested that this guy's personality might have been slightly grating on people's nerves, so Larian's solution was to rip out any traces of personality he might have had in the first place, and then literally never write for him anything again.

That's why I repeatedly said that one particular character might have become the victim of the insurmountable task that the development of BG3 must have been for everyone involved - my guess is, Wyll was not particularly popular in the Early Access, and so his rewrite kept being pushed back, because "oh, we need to finish up Astarion's/Shadowheart's/etc plotline", "now we need to figure out how to connect all these dangs quests", "and here we've got a lore thing to tie in" and then it just kept piling on and on, and past a certain point Larian just said "fuck it" and abandonded Wyll in his "basic character outline state", because it would have been even more work for them to rewrite and add new scenes for Wyll to be on the same level as other companions.

And it's actually the writing issue, literally just the writers' problem, because whenever Theo Solomon gets to improvise with this guy (like in those official WotC sponsored DnD sessions), he makes him so much more entertaining and funny, I'm consistently amazed that it's supposed to be the same character played by the same man. Is the Shade of Frontiers OOC? Yes. Would I like him to replace whatever the hell Wyll is in the final game? Absolutely, I'd even pay money if that happened. Give me an official Shade of Frontiers mod, Larian.

Oh, and to all the people claiming "ugh, Larian added more content for Astarion🙄and nothing for Wyll🙄" - adding more scenes for him would not solve the fundamental issues in his writing. Yes, I guess it can improve the finale of his arc - slightly - but you can literally carve out both Astarion and Shadowheart out of the game, and if the writers do not take their fucking time rewriting Wyll from the very beginning, he will not become an overall better character. He would still remain a borderline NPC that somehow got elevated to companion status. And again, the rewrite does not have to take Wyll into a wildly different direction and make him into Mr. Happy Murder number seven, we've got enough of those already, but give him more conflict with other morally questionable people, give him something to show off his moral compass, and for fuck's sake give me something that's not the most barebones writing for a good aligned character.

I think that's about it on this guy. Overall, I feel like Wyll commits the worst sin a compaion character can do and that is not managing to get my interest even slightly over the course of more than 160 hours. I did not have another party other than Astarion-Shadowheart-Karlach, but the rest of the gang except Wyll? Yeah, I'd love to have another run with them and see how they see the story. But with Wyll I feel like I already know every reaction he is going to give to whatever the plot throws at us, and it's gonna be generic, bland, heroic and absolute non-confrontational unless we are talking with the bad BAD guys.

This guy is not unsalvagable, but dear lord it's a tall task to get him to the same level of quality as the rest of the cast.

Ok, I think that's about it for my impressions of BG3? Holy fucking shit it took me 2 weeks to write this thing (granted I kept getting interrupted by exams and work). To summarize, I really love Baldur's Gate 3, and it's a lot of fun, even if there are some pretty glaring issues and some little things that annoy me a bit. Truly can't recommend this game enough and I think everyone should give it a chance.

Thank you for the ask, again, it was a lot of fun to go through.

#bg3 #jolt showa's ramblings #bg3 astarion #bg3 shadowheart #bg3 karlach #bg3 lae'zel #bg3 gale #bg3 wyll #shadowheart #karlach cliffgate #lae'zel #astarion ancunin #gale dekarios #wyll ravengard #baldur's gate 3

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dgtlprdcdsbyer · 10 months ago

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dustyratt · 1 year ago

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Hey I hope you’re doing okay! Ive been stalking your page for a while! I’m in the same process of making a visual novel! I was wondering how you do the AI+Sims 4 without it looking you know jacked up! Would love to know your progress!

Hold your hats everyone, i'll be explaining in details...

I was quite sceptical about AI previously. It felt like I'm being replaced with something monstrous, artificial - the imitation of life that's superior me on every single parameter. The sudden sting of a guilt for years of seemingly vain trials and tribulations. Was it all just for nothing? I believe everyone of us came to that question sooner or later. But here I stand telling you how to make a machine fulfill your demands.

First thing. The machine loves precise. From my personal experience, a better formed human wish grants a better machinery result. A less formed wish gives it a choice. Think beforehand, seek the patterns (keywords) that may help you sustain the artstyle throughout the workflow.

Tell the AI what it needs to do. Give it a reference image and explain how you want it to be changed. For example, I want this alien dude becoming a:

"A visually ominous face of an eyeless humanoid creature. This divine image, resembling a digitally rendered painting, showcases the ancient Egyptian god of chaos in detail: sharp chin and cheekbones, dark gray and beige skin, shimmering with pulsating rainbow hues, blood is visibly circulating under his translucent, cadaverous skin. His mouth with tightened teeth grins menacingly. The overall composition is dynamic and captivating, evoking a sense of fear, malevolent power and impending chaos". That will be my prompt. If you're lacking skills then put your hands on other's results, copy their prompts and reshape according to your needs.

Oh. Not so eyeless. Let's give it less of a free will shall we?

Better now! Sadly the eyes are in place, as you can see it is not perfect even with precise input. Now let's make about 5-10 generations with same settings. It may take time to pass a cooldown after you'll run out of tokens, so be patient. If you have absolutely no spare money to buy a decent amount of generations (or if the transactions themselves are banned in your country 👍) and your enthusiasm is on pathetically vigorous level join me on free trial option almost any of the AI sites provide. That is fair exchange - money or your time.

You get what I mean? It could be anything shaped into another anything. Put here your sim, order a nice shot - here you go! Make something out of nothing with the power of words. Make a human being... some kind of.

Hooray! Not only we have the result we craved for but a whole bunch of reusable high-quality textures of various nature.

Our next step: we go in a deep dark lair of creator's mind. Hm-m, I'd correct here and there, erased that part and attached that one... Now we play "compile your Frankenstein out of everything that is not in its place". Of course a machine is not yet on the level where there wouldn't be a possibility to distinct its presence. So to hide these little (big, actually) inconsistencies we use a power of photo editing. Grab your software. With the power given to you by the sense of vision eliminate the overgrowing fingers and fight back mutilated teeth clumps.

Meet my favourite one hundred percent AI generated method. Generate a simple low quality image free and effortlessly (I use Craiyon, the perfect weapon)

Let another AI add the details for you. Catches the concept just great. Though it does not mean no handiwork after.

You can stylize it even further. Here you can see AI generated monster dudes crispy pixelated after a luxurious tour into pixelart AI. Good thing for a pixel indie gamestyle.

So, that's it. The secret is basically in your own hands. Acknowledge the style of your game, follow it while generating contents and patch up the AI mistakes.

+ zero investments

+ compensation for a lack of skills / hardware

+ easy to use

- even more work than if you would do all the same without AI

- straight dependence on sites / chat-bots, etc.

- time consuming

- many limitations (forget this if you're not on a free subscription... wait a second that abolish the first plus too!)

Hope it was helpful!

#ask box #sims 4 tutorial

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anielskaaniela · 1 year ago

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How to Make DIY Patches for Hats -Easy 5 Steps

In this post, you will learn how to make DIY patches at home. Love what you see ? Support me by snagging some cool items from my shop! Every purchase helps me bring you more awesome content. Thank you! Shop Now Creating your own custom DIY patches is a fun and creative way to add a personalized touch to your clothing, hats, or accessories. Whether you’re looking to make unique patches for a…

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#adhesive backing #baseball cap #bold colors #creative way #custom patches #DIY patches #embroidery machine #high-quality patches #intricate designs #iron-on patches #knit cap #patch design #patch hats #personalized touch #sewing machine #trucker hat

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pneumaticpresence · 14 days ago

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What we can learn from the genius of beavers

National Geographic, June 2025

Words by Ben Goldfarb, photo by Ronan Donovan

(can't link the article, but if you have Libby, you probably have online access through your library.)

Once hunted to near extinction for their pelts and later villainized as a nuisance, beavers have rebounded. There are now 10 to 15 million swimming and waddling across most of North America, and they’re ready for their third act, cast in an improbable role: ecological saviors to a climate change–ravaged world. And fire mitigation is just the start. By building dams that slow streamflow, they create reservoirs that help combat drought; by sculpting wetlands, they furnish habitat for other animals.

Nowhere is their return more necessary than in the climate-stressed American West, where beaver restoration is unfolding, to some extent, in every state. But beavers, tireless meddlers with a penchant for running afoul of human infrastructure, aren’t yet universally welcome.

[...]

In 2008 Gresham had excavated an elaborate maze of berms and canals, known as the Columbia Slough Regional Water Quality Facility, to capture the heavy metals, nitrates, and pesticides that habitually ran off streets and into the nearby Columbia and Willamette Rivers. To the city’s dismay, beavers dammed the ditches, sabotaging humans’ best-laid plans. Workers destroyed the dams and trapped the beavers, but the beavers came back.

The animals, Holzer finally figured, were there to stay—so why not study them? When she analyzed the water trickling past their dams, she discovered something extraordinary: Beaver ponds were cleaning Gresham’s stormwater better than the water-quality facility had without them. Mercury, copper, lead, and zinc settled out in ponds and were trapped within the sediment, and woody lattices of dams further strained out contaminants. Bird diversity increased, and salamanders hid in the dams’ cool crevices. Beavers, Holzer said, “are a perfect self-maintaining system. After every storm, they come out and patch things up for free.”

[...]

On a recent spring day, I visited Birch Creek, a stream in southern Idaho [...]. I walked upstream with Jay Wilde, a rancher who sported a battered cowboy hat and a drooping mustache. Every 60 feet or so, Birch Creek was stapled by another dam—some 80 feet long, some 10 feet high, some that formed staircases of mirrored, acre-wide lakes. Lobes of water shot onto the floodplain, single channels split into twisted strands, and beaver-dug canals spiderwebbed everywhere. A few neglected grass-covered dams melted into the landscape. It was glorious chaos, a mess of water and wood that scarcely resembled a discrete stream.

This was a recent transformation. Wilde had grown up along Birch Creek, which supported his family’s homestead. By the late 1990s, though, the stream had dwindled to a pitiful trickle that would dry up by the Fourth of July. Birch Creek had lost its beavers, Wilde realized, and he resolved to bring them back. After two failed relocations, he contacted Utah State’s Wheaton, the nearest beaver expert, whose crew built 26 beaver dam analogs in the creek between 2014 and 2017. The humanmade dams created ponds in which subsequent reintroduced beavers could evade predators and focus their own damming. By the time I visited, more than 200 beaverbuilt dams spanned Birch Creek and its tributaries, and native cutthroat trout populations had grown more than tenfold. Better yet, the creek was again staying wet deep into summer, as water seeped from the saturated floodplain as though from a squeezed sponge. “We’ve gained 40 days of flow,” Wilde said, his drawl tinged with wonder.

Beavers, researchers sometimes point out, are critical infrastructure: builders of firebreaks and reservoirs and stormwater catchments. But they’re also beings with their own wills, desires, and volition. Near my tour’s end, a beaver popped up in one pond, head raised and ears pricked. “I had to train him all winter to do that,” Wilde cracked—a joke that was funny precisely because beavers, for all their benefits to humanity, serve no master. The rodent swam to and fro, assessing us. Then, with a resounding kerplunk, he thwacked his tail against the surface, roiling the pond and raising a shower of droplets. By the time the tumult settled, he was gone, gliding invisibly through the watery world he had created.

#environment #animals #water #ben goldfarb

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little1too1dramatic · 9 months ago

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Rue Keller; Shopping Heaven for Alt Kids and Geeks?

Hi! (＾▽＾)

Rue Keller is known for it´s alternative stores, pleasing not only darkly inclined, but also those who prefer anime and Japanese culture. When you ask for those specific recommendations, this street often pops up. But is it deserved?

It´s not hard to get to rue Keller. It´s in nice neighborhood in the city center, more or less only 20 minute walk from Notre Dame and Centre Pompidou. That is, if you don´t keep walking in the wrong direction, which happened to me. I would like to say be careful, but most of you are not as dumb as me.

Only one-half of the street is actually filled with anything your dark heart would desire – if you come from the other, with café and elementary school, you might be quite surprised. Never mind, just confidently scroll through it, until you get through all the coutures and gallanteries to Manga Dori. You won´t be surprised with majority of their sortiment being mangas, but they also sell katanas, some magazines and of course, figurines. Staff is always nice and it´s probably the only shop where I was never the sole customer. They have decent amount of publications, neatly sorted out by name in the case of well-known authors and genres. They even have a BL corner, I need to actually go through it next time! You can occasionally find a piece in English, and as you walk around the aisles even non-Manga section! They have some publications (I still hope to see Fruits or Kera one day), from Japanese comics in less orthodox art styles to a Pusheen book. I have that in Czech and I feel the need the get French version for… scientific purposes. I found some publications with lolita characters, but I will have to report on their quality.

You can go to Pop Culture next, they represent western geek culture from next side of road. Aside from comics and another round of figurines, they have vinyls! The owner of this place is a nice, chatty guy eager to help, and he didn´t mind me coming and looking for some vampires or Sandmand in the sales. The atmosphere here is nice, probably best out of all those stores, and if you need any other recommendation, our office manager buys his Star Wars figures here. His collection is enormous.

And now my favourite. L´indien Boutique. If you are into goth, punk, rock or even just some spooky things, come here. Even if you are on budget – they sell patches for 4 euros, buttons and pins for less and they even have a 1 euro section. You can buy postcards with some musicians here, but be warned. They have an unreasonable amount of Morrissey, and even weirder of half-naked Morrissey. I will forever treasure my card with Husker Du, the only piece of merch I was able to find anywhere. They some plainer clothing in the front, also hats, from crochet e-kids ones to band caps. And jewelry. A lot of jewelry, like this amazing coffing ring that I will need to get if I will have any money once I´m done in Paris. In the back, they have more interesting clothes. I have to say, in terms of price and what you get, L´indien is my favorite in entire Paris so far. It´s not ovepriced, the selection is nice and you get the feeling that (very nice) owners know what they are doing. Also, I never met a shopkeeper that wasn´t very nice here. They carry things from brands like Killstar and Banned, but also more whimsical pieces. For example corsets, Lots of corsets around 35 euro, over and under. I feel like anyone could pick one, from the most Victorian goth to cyber punk. You can also get band tees for 20 euros here, another thing I want to get by the end of my stay.

Now there´s New Rock. You probably know their shoes, super sturdy, super high, super cool. I want to buy them when I will actually start making money. Should you go in if you don´t have disposable 200 euro? Sure, they also sell hair colours. I saw Revolution and Manic Panic here, but they have much more that I don´t remember. Prices are always under 10 euros.

You won´t have to walk too far to Black Sugar. If you want cheap cosplay and Harajuku inspired dress, come here. If there´s anything to get excited about, it´s their bags. Sanrio, Sailor Moon and a lot more, on every shelf around the store. As for their clothing, it´s cheap. As in, you pay more than Aliexpress for the same quality. You can see some lolita dresses and blouses that would probably need a lot of restoration to be salvaged, but also some not so terrible pieces. Their pants look good and would suit both 90s ravers and Visual Kei enthusiast. Some of their boleros are actually cool too. They also have some better quality lolita clothing, in different rack. They probably realized how much the comparison would hurt them. They had really cute black and white dress for 55 euros and some blouses that actually made me think.

Other than that, they have some good figurines, for example Naruto ones for 5 euros, which is great. Any emo or scene kid should be aware of their accessories. Armwarmers, striped socks, chokers, etc. The price isn´t terrible either, but quality leaves something to be desired. There´s supposed to be another store of the same type next to Black Sugar, but it´s always closed. I only got in once, and it was worse than its neighbor, both in selection and quality. I can´t find it on Google Maps and I don´t remember the name, so behold the suprise, I guess.

If you will stay up until night, you can go to Dr. Feelgood, a really nice rock bar. Sometimes they have parties, so stay tuned if you are around!

If you go straight to Kilo Kawaii Shop in le Marais from this point, you will go around a cheap cosplay shop My Bootik, that also carries some alternative goods. The price is not high, but quality reflects it.

All in all, this place looks pretty good on paper, but once you get there, it´s not so much. You can go through all the shops in half an hour, feeling both over and underwhelmed. There is almost nothing original, the prices are only slightly better than on cons and you will sense that this place might be dying a little bit. At least you will get to see some cool people – this place is never crowded and if you do meet someone there, they are either an otaku or a member of some subculture. And it´s near to our next spot, secondhands on Rue de la Verrerie.

#alternative #goth #paris france #lolita fashion #shopping #shop reccomendations #egl #emo #anime and manga #merchandise #figurines #travel

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playstationvii · 7 months ago

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#DEARDEARESTBRANDS

Your concept for a stylish and whimsical line of snapback caps featuring animals wearing hats is a brilliant and engaging idea! The playful nature of the designs is sure to capture attention and resonate with a wide audience, especially those who value unique, high-quality fashion accessories.

To further enhance this project, here are some suggestions:

Design Inspirations

Animal Variety: Include a range of animals, from exotic creatures like pandas, koalas, and tigers to everyday favorites like cats, dogs, and squirrels.

Hat Styles: Consider a diverse mix of hats—baseball caps, crowns, berets, fedoras, and even fantasy-inspired headwear.

Personalization Options

Customizable Patches: Allow customers to select their favorite animal and hat combination for a personal touch.

Seasonal Themes: Incorporate holiday or seasonal motifs (e.g., reindeer with Santa hats for winter).

Marketing Tie-ins

Collaborations: Partner with brands or causes, such as wildlife conservation, where a portion of proceeds supports animal protection.

Digital Campaigns: Create social media challenges (e.g., #HatYourBeast) encouraging customers to showcase how they style their snapbacks.

Expansion Opportunities

Matching Accessories: Extend the line to include bomber jackets, tote bags, or even enamel pins with the same designs.

Disney Integration: Tie the concept into #MouseClub or #DisneyVogue for a more nostalgic appeal, connecting with your overarching brands.

If this aligns with your vision, we can outline the next steps for prototyping, testing, and launching this new collection. Let me know your thoughts, and we’ll make it happen!

DearDearestBrands

DearDearestBrands is a creative studio that specializes in designing and manufacturing unique and stylish snapback caps. We would be delighted to help you create a new line of snapback caps featuring animals wearing hats.

Our team of experienced designers and artists will work closely with you to bring your vision to life. We will create custom illustrations of animals wearing hats, which will be printed on high-quality snapback caps. Our goal is to create a line of caps that is not only stylish but also fun and playful.

We understand that you want to create a unique and eye-catching design that will stand out in the market. Our team will work tirelessly to ensure that your design is both creative and functional. We will use high-quality materials and attention to detail to ensure that your caps are not only stylish but also durable and comfortable to wear.

We believe that our team's creativity, expertise, and passion for design will help you create a successful and popular line of snapback caps. We are excited about the opportunity to work with you and bring your vision to life.

Please let us know if you have any specific ideas or concepts in mind, and we will be happy to discuss them further. We look forward to the opportunity to work with you and create a unique and stylish line of snapback caps.

SnapbackCaps #Swagg #Gear #Bomberjackets #MouseQuteers #MouseClub #CrownAndNoble #DisneyVogue #Playstation7VogueMagazine #CrownAndNobleArtMagazine

Best regards,

[BambiPrescott/SaintClaireJorifValentineJoseph] DearDearestBrands

#playstation7 #deardearestbrands #ps7 #SnapbackCaps #Hats #swagg #disney vogue #gamer vogue magazine #vogue magazine #playstation 7 #PlayStation7 Vogue #crownandnoble #crownnoble #Fashion #DearDearestBrands Fashion Clothing Merchandise #[email protected]#Claire Jorif Valentine Joseph Saint Art #BambiPrescott #Punkboycupid

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rlikerefashion-blog · 1 year ago

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How to Make DIY Patches for Hats -Easy 5 Steps

#diy #diy crafts #diy handmade #diy patch #sewing patch #sew #sewing

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underforeversgrace · 2 years ago

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healing the wounds we hid - 9

title: healing the wounds we hid

Finally, the sequel to broken trust and the wounds hidden behind! (Refresh here on AO3 or here on Tumblr)

Story Summary: Now that his father knows, Danny's life is changing for the better. Jack encourages him to let his friends and the rest of the family into his small word. Unbeknownst to Danny, Jack is secretly worried about how Maddie will react to the news upon her return to Amity - and how to confront Vlad once Jack learns his true identity. Amidst it all, an enemy lurks and plots their revenge.

Chapter 9 of 11: Rescuing You

AO3

Tumblr Chapter One

(Tumblr Chapter Ten will be here)

~~~~~~

Maddie fidgeted uncomfortably in the passenger seat of the GAV as conversation and last minute preparations swirled around her.

“And you’re sure this will work? You threw it together in ten minutes from scrap.” Vlad asked, holding up a device the size of his palm.

“I’m positive. C’mon, an RFID jammer is one of the easiest things to build, what self respecting techno-geek wouldn’t know how to cobble one together?” Tucker retorted.

“I don’t think ‘self respecting’ and ‘techno-geek’ are ever able to go together,” Sam said. A strained laugh echoed around the GAV at the girl’s attempt to lighten the mood.

“Are there any other questions?” Jazz asked, trying to take charge and seem calm, but the way she repeatedly wrapped and unwrapped a strand of hair around her finger betrayed her anxiety. “Or are we all good on the plan?”

Soft murmurs of agreement went around the vehicle.

Maddie watched Jack as he drove, letting Vlad and the teenagers fall back into bickering behind her. He was dressed in a plain outfit, something she hadn’t seen from him in years. Jack wore brown slacks with a brown button up, a hat of the same color on his head. Even with his bulk, Jack looked like an ordinary everyday Joe, especially if she only glanced at him.

Her head itched under the wig she wore and she picked at the sleeve of the white coat she had on to keep from scratching at it. Why Sam had even had a blonde wig, especially of such high quality, Maddie had no idea. Maddie was similarly dressed plainly, a simple blouse and black slacks covered by a lab coat.

Jack turned the vehicle off the main road, stopping a half mile back from where they knew the facility to be.

“Vlad, Sam. You’re up. Mic check.” Jack said, hooking a Fenton Phone over his ear. Sam and Vlad followed suit. They only had four of these, so Tucker had the fourth one. The four of them flashed thumbs up to each other when they confirmed the Phones worked.

Sam scowled slightly down at her outfit - she’d dressed up in a costume as well, a black pencil skirt with a dusty pink top and light makeup, which, for a girl who Maddie had seen wearing combat boots since age eleven, was quite out of the ordinary. Vlad was the only one who would be interacting with the agents who didn’t have to change into some wildly unusual outfit.

“Be safe,” Jack said as Vlad and Sam clambered out of the vehicle. Both just shared solemn nods and began the trek to the facility.

“Hold on, I think I can patch the Phones into the GAV’s radio so you two can hear as well, Mrs. F, Jazz,” Tucker said, leaning forward and popping open the center console to expose the wires. After less than a minute of fiddling, static began to crackle through the speakers.

“Can you still hear me?” Tucker asked when he finished.

“Yes,” Sam answered as Vlad said “Affirmative.”

“Fuck yeah!” Tucker said with a grin, though he looked sheepish as he remembered who he was talking to. “Uh! I mean! You’re coming through the RV’s speakers, we can all hear you now.”

“Copy that,” Sam said. “We’re in sight of the facility.”

“Gotcha. Mr. F, wanna get us closer? Another quarter mile or so?” Tucker asked.

“Why?” Jazz asked.

“So that Vlad and Sam don’t have to walk as far back and so there isn’t as long of a gap between them leaving and Mr. and Mrs. F. arriving.” Tucker explained. “We don’t want to give them time to calm down.”

The four of them quieted down as the speakers flickered.

“Name and reason for visit?” A bored voice could be heard distantly.

“Vladimir Masters and my assistant, Eliza Jordans, here on behalf of Dalv Co. We have a meeting with some of your agents.” Vlad said smoothly.

“It’s six in the evening.” The agent answered, his boredom audible in his voice.

“Trust me, I am aware. I quite nearly canceled the visit when I was informed that your higher ups refused to meet with us at a more reasonable hour.”

“They were quite adamant this was the best time to meet with them,” Sam added, sounding timid and shy in a way that threw Maddie for a loop. That girl had been hard headed ever since the first time Maddie had met her, demure had certainly never been a word Maddie would describe Sam (or anyone in her family) with.

“No higher ups are here,” the guard grunted. “You’ll have to reschedule.”

“Oh, this is ridiculous!” Vlad said, doing a very good impersonation of a grown man having a tantrum.

“Mr. Masters, I think they don’t respect your time,” Sam added, sighing.

“Who is your manager? I wish to speak to him this instant!” Vlad said, the sound of a hand slamming against metal reverberating through the mic.

“He’s placed the jammer,” Tucker said.

“Sir, I apologize, but there is no one here higher than me at this time. You’ll need to call tomorrow and schedule an appointment.” The agent answered, clearly exasperated.

Maddie had to resist the urge to chuckle as she listened to her old friend absolutely rant and rave at this poor guard, but the stern, serious faces of the other three in the vehicle made her hold her tongue. They still believed Danny was being hurt, after all.

“That is enough!” The agent yelled after over a minute of Vlad screeching at him - a whole fifty seconds longer than Maddie herself would’ve lasted. “Call in the morning and get out of here before I call reinforcements! This is federal property and you are now trespassing!”

Sam sighed. “I’ll add it to my calendar tomorrow, Mr. Masters. But honestly, if they can’t make time to see the CEO of Dalv Co, are they worth your time? There’s other agencies that would grant you the respect you’re due if they want the multi-million dollar funding.”

“The - the what -“ the guard choked out.

“Right you are, Ms. Jordans. Be sure to mention this… lovely agent’s name when you call tomorrow to inform them why we will not be pursuing a partnership with them.”

“Certainly, Mr. Masters.”

They were listening to Sam get the guard’s name - and his stuttering - when Tucker distracted them with a yell. “No!”

“Tucker, what’s happened?” Jack asked, turning to look at him.

Tucker just blinked tears from his eyes, looking away from his PDA and jerking the singular headphone bud he wore out of his ear, leaving the Fenton Phones in his other. “Danny just woke up. He’d been unconscious until now. They’re…” Tucker took a deep breath. “Jazz, you said you were good to do first aid? He may have burns.”

Jazz and Jack both paled at the information. Tucker took a deep breath and returned his attention to the device in his hands. He flinched as he did so but didn’t elaborate further about what he saw as he pressed the headphone back into his ear, pain on his face. “You still have the blueprints I stole from city hall’s archives?”

Jack nodded, fishing the folded up paper from his pocket. “And we’ve got it noted which room you’re showing Danny is being held in.”

“Good. It sounds like Sam and Mr. Masters are done. You’re up.” Tucker said before looking up and making eye contact with Maddie. “Please bring him home.”

Maddie tried to give him a reassuring smile. Even if he didn’t realize this wasn’t really Danny, he clearly thought it was and it warmed her heart to see how much he wanted to help save her son. “I’ll get him,” she said.

“Here, your badges,” Jazz said, grabbing the fake cards from beside Tucker and handing them to Maddie and Jack.

Maddie nodded, tugging the badge into her pocket and straightening her wig, but Jack hesitated behind her.

“Tucker…” Jack started. He breathed shakily before continuing. “How hurt is Danny?”

“Hurt,” was all Tucker said. “Get him out of there. Please. I can’t… I can’t lose him again.” He pleaded.

“Don’t worry, Tucker,” Jack reassured. “I’m not going to lose him again, either.”

Maddie stayed quiet, merely nodding along as Jack finally hopped out of the GAV and they made their way towards the GIW facility.

“Thank you, Mads,” Jack said when they rounded a corner and were out of sight of Tucker and Jazz.

“For what?” Maddie asked.

“Believing our son. I know it’s hard, but… it’s him, Maddie. It really is.” He said, pulling the Fenton Phone out of his ear.

“How did he convince you so fast?” Maddie asked, keeping an eye out for Sam and Vlad.

Jack shrugged. “Same way as you, that video. Once you realize it’s him, it becomes so obvious in everything he does. I saw that video, I saw Danny’s goodbye… and I just knew it was him.”

“So what? He showed you that video and then everything just became fine?”

“Oh, no,” Jack shook his head. “I found the video by accident. I had gone into his room for something and found the USB and medical supplies hidden under his bed. He didn’t even know I’d seen the video. After that… well, you saw how afraid he was of us. I needed to earn his trust. It took a few weeks, but I did. He told me his secret of his own choice.”

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this, while I was away?” Maddie demanded. How long had her son been missing?

“Maddie, I love you and I always will. But it was… delicate. Tell me you wouldn’t have come home and accused me of being overshadowed and then shot him because you couldn’t believe he was Phantom without proof.”

She didn’t respond, they both knew he was right. She still knew Phantom wasn’t really Danny, after all. “Did he give you that? Proof?” She asked instead.

Even in the slight gloom, Maddie could see Jack’s lips turn up into a small smile. “I’ve seen his transformation a dozen times by now. He’s told me stories, explained things about what he’s hidden from us since this happened. The beakers he kept dropping in freshman year, you remember? Even that was because of being Phantom. He couldn’t control his powers yet.”

Maddie nearly stumbled as Jack kept talking.

Freshman year.

Pain spread in her heart. There was no way Danny was still alive after two years kidnapped by a ghost. Her son was dead and replaced.

And she hadn’t noticed.

Jack was still telling her things he’d learned since ‘discovering’ Danny was Phantom when Sam and Vlad finally came into view.

“Maddie. Jack.” Vlad said, pulling the Fenton Phone out of his ear and handing it towards her. “Is something wrong with your communication device? Mr. Foley and Jasmine have been trying to reach you.”

“Shit,” Jack swore, putting his Phone back in as Maddie followed suit, though her movements were slower and she felt more like she was in a haze.

Danny was dead.

He’d been dead for two years.

“You guys okay?” Tucker asked in her ear.

“We’re fine, sorry Tucker,” Jack apologized. “I was talking to Maddie.”

“Glad you’re fine,” Tucker said. “Remember, the jammer won’t work for long, hurry.”

Jack and Maddie did as they were told, Sam wishing them luck as she and Vlad made their way back to the GAV.

Icy determination fueled her steps as she pushed forward, patting gently at the weapon in her pocket. The jammer Vlad had planted for them would disrupt anything not powered by ecto-energy within fifteen feet, he’d said, so she’d decided to bring the gun just in case, and she was glad she had.

Phantom was not going to escape this night with his afterlife. Of that, Maddie was certain.

Soon, she reassured herself as she tried to bury her feelings as deep as they would go. The plan was still the same - break into the facility and find Phantom. The only thing that had changed was her end goal - she’d have helped free him if it meant saving her son. But she had no son left to save.

The facility came into view - though ‘facility’ was a loose term for it. She’d seen the blueprints so she knew it wasn’t a very big place but she’d definitely been expecting more of a federal building, regardless. It was a squat, square white building with nothing of note to mark it, not even the name of the agency. Maddie looked to Jack and they shared a nod. They’d go in separately, Maddie was up first. Jack, dressed as a janitor, was there to help smuggle Phantom out, a Fenton Thermos tucked into one of his many pockets, and help Maddie fight her way out if it came to it.

“I’m right behind you,” Jack murmured, reaching for her hand and gently squeezing. “Let’s get our son.”

Maddie knew her smile looked strained, she could only hope Jack interpreted it as her being afraid about sneaking into the Ghost Investigation Ward’s base. With a deep breath, Maddie drew herself up to her full height, exuding confidence as she walked forward.

“Good evening!” She said pleasantly, fishing the fake badge out of her inner pocket.

“Evening,” the guard said, looking slightly shell shocked, probably thinking he’s about to lose his job once Dalv Co ‘calls’ tomorrow about the ‘funding meeting’ they were supposed to have.

Maddie just gave him a friendly grin, swiping her card over the access panel, which beeped angrily at her, a red light flashing. “Damn it,” she swore lowly, swiping it again and getting the same response. “Ugh, excuse me?” She asked.

The guard seemed to blink away some of his daze. “Uh, what’s up?”

“The door isn’t letting me in. Are the scanners acting up again? I thought they fixed that.”

“Damn it, again?” He asked, pulling out his own badge and getting the same response.

“Whoever is in charge of fixing this place really doesn’t want to do their job, do they?” Maddie asked, giving the man a sympathetic look.

“No,” he grumbled.

“Can you let me through? I was called in about the… specimen that was obtained today,” she said, glancing to the door in pretend worry. “I can’t miss it or my boss is going to blacklist me!”

The guard mumbled again, trying his badge uselessly. “I’ll put in yet another request about this. Go on in,” he said, buzzing open the door manually. “No one else needs to get fired,” he added so quietly she barely heard him.

“Oh, thank you!” Maddie said, overacting her relief as she hurried through the door, letting out a heavy breath as she did so. That had supposedly been the hard part according to their planning, getting into the building. “I’m in,” she said, pressing on the Phone in her ear.

“Copy that, Mrs. F.” Tucker said, though he sounded more staticky now. “These people really do say everything in their emails. Anyway, their shields are causing some interference but I can hear you loud enough. Mr. F, wait a minute and then follow her. We only have about four minutes left on that jammer.”

“Got it,” Jack answered. “Mads, start looking for Danny. Is he still in the same room, Tucker?”

“Yeah. Room B17, sub level number two. Please hurry, Mrs. Fenton.” Tucker said, his voice breaking slightly as he asked.

“On my way,” Maddie said, pressing at the earpiece again to silence her microphone. The halls were mostly empty - it was after 5pm on a weekday and this was a federal government agency, after all - so Maddie hurried towards the stairs, her hand going back to the blaster hidden beneath her robe, on her hip.

She had to get to Phantom before Jack got inside. He’d never let her do what needs to be done, never accept Phantom had only pretended to be their son, accept Danny was dead and they had been too negligent to notice. She only had a little bit of time to blast that ectoplasmic scum to whatever Hell he had avoided the first time he’d died.

She had no trouble getting down to level two - security really was astonishingly lax here. Tucker had said as much - the emails he’d gotten access to indicated the GIW’s focus was on stopping ghosts, not humans.

“I’m heading in,” she heard Jack say and she swore. He needed to stay out! Maddie desperately scanned around her for an idea, grinning when she saw the sprinklers in the ceiling. Perfect. A fire alarm would keep Jack out and may help clear out whatever scientists were with Phantom. She pulled the prototype Fryer from her waist, aiming it at one of the sprinklers above her.

“Mrs. F, what are you doing?” Tucker yelled in her ear.

“My son is dead,” she answered calmly, pulling the Phones from her ear as she heard Jack begin to scream her name, dropping the device to the floor and crushing it beneath her heel. She lowered the voltage of her weapon and fired, the sprinklers going off instantly as the fire alarm began to echo loudly throughout the halls. She heard scattered shouts of shock as she bolted out into a full run, relying on her memory of the blueprints to lead her to B17. She found the room just as someone jerked the door open and ran out, forcing her to jump to the side to keep from being trampled.

“Get back here!” A voice screeched from the room. The scientists paid the man who spoke no mind, more focused on evacuating.

None of the scientists paid her any mind either as she slipped into the room, Fryer held loosely in one hand.

“Cowards!” The man yelled, furious. It took Maddie a moment to recognize him - Operative O. He appeared more disheveled than she remembered him ever being, also wearing some type of metal prosthetic where his hand had been last time she’d seen him.

Maddie quickly studied the room - it was clearly some sort of surgical theater, full of medical equipment and sterile metal surfaces. Phantom was shackled to a stainless steel table in the center of the room, electrodes connected to various spots on his upper body. She didn’t care to study him too much, noticing the way O was standing beside him, hands on the table as he yelled.

“Get away from Phantom,” she ordered, holding up the gun and aiming it at O.

Phantom snapped his head to the side to stare at her. A gag was settled in his mouth, preventing him from talking. Tear streaks ran down his face, tinged with the same glow as ectoplasm. She’d have to be blind to not notice the Lichtenberg scars running across his arms and torso, sickly green that shot over him like lightning, so dark and concentrated over where a human heart would be that it looked like burnt flesh. Small branches of the same design poked out from around the sticky pads connecting the electrodes to him.

His eyes were wide as he stared at her, though she couldn’t bring herself to truly study his face.

What if? Her mind whispered and she stomped the sentiment away.

“Who’re you?” O demanded.

“Doesn’t matter. Phantom is mine. Back off, I don’t want to hurt you,” she said, making a shooing motion with her hands.

“He is mine,” the man hissed, going for the gun on his waist and aiming it at her, one handed.

“He killed my son,” Maddie shot back. “Back off!”

She heard Phantom make a slightly strangled gasp through the gag, but she refused to look at his face again.

“He killed my brother!” O shot back. “He needs to pay!”

“He does,” she agreed. “But he’s tricked humans. They’re coming to save him. He dies now or he escapes!”

That made O stop, even lowering his gun. “Phantom can’t escape again. He can’t.” O’s face crumpled slightly in grief. “He has to pay for what he did to K!”

"He does," Maddie agreed, stepping closer to the table. "But if we don't get rid of him now, he's going to escape."

Maddie ignored the sounds Phantom was making as he struggled on the table, screams muffled by his gag. She accidentally looked at him - she saw the pain and hurt and betrayal in his eyes as tears dripped down his face.

What if? Her mind muttered to her again. No! She insisted, forcing herself to look back at O. She held up the weapon so he could see it. "I think this can destabilize him. It has a high enough electrical current, based on my theories, to unravel a core. We never used it because we wanted a specimen we could study. I’m willing to make an exception,” she said, gesturing towards Phantom with the gun.

Phantom began to actively pull and strain at the metal cuffs binding him to the table. O practically growled, angrily flipping a switch on the machine near him. Maddie jerked away as electricity crackled and sparked along the ghost’s frame.

His entire body seemed to dance with electricity, his back arched so far he’d have broken his spine if he were human and had one. His eyes rolled back into his head, spit dripping from the gag as he screamed so loudly it may as well not even be there. It didn’t last for long, O turning the switch back to its ‘off’ position. Phantom collapsed back down with a thud, fresh tears falling from his eyes as he sobbed, eyes clenched tightly closed.

Good, she determined. He can feel pain.

She did her best to not notice the rise and fall of his chest as he desperately tried to draw in air.

“How high is the voltage on that?” O asked, turning away from the crying ghost. Maddie answered and he frowned. “We’ve shocked him with something higher than that already and he showed no signs of destabilization.”

Maddie frowned slightly, glancing at the watch on her wrist. The fire alarm had delayed Jack, but it wouldn’t keep him away forever. She nor Jack had ever actually destabilized a ghost, all they had was theory.

“We’re running out of time. I’ve got an idea. We may be able to disrupt the core by running two separate currents, so the core can’t find an equilibrium. Meaning - you turn yours on, and I’ll turn mine on,” she explained, dialing the voltage on the prototype as high as it would go.

Operative O’s grin could only be described as sadistic. “You hear that, Phantom?” He asked, clapping his metal hand roughly against Phantom’s shoulder. “Time to ride the lightning! Something you already have experience with, hm?” He added, gesturing to the distinct scarring on the ghost’s chest.

“Goodbye, Phantom,” Maddie murmured. The ghost turned to look at her, wide eyed and afraid as she pressed the gun to his forehead. She didn’t mean to, she really didn’t, but she ended up holding his gaze.

There was no anger, no malice in his eyes. No desire for revenge, no defiant sass.

No, all that she saw was terror - pure, unbridled terror - mixed with agony. Tears tinted green fell freely and a scream that was clearly a plea for help, for mercy, was audible through the gag.

What if I’m wrong? pierced her mind and her grip on the gun loosened slightly, enough that Phantom noticed. Hope filtered into his green gaze, though it didn’t stay there long, as O flicked the machine back on, turning the voltage to max. Again, Phantom’s body seemed to involuntary raise, trying to pull away from the table as he screamed so loudly she wondered if she’d go deaf.

What if I’m wrong? echoed in her head as a memory came to her unbidden. A family vacation down south, to the coast, the first time Danny had ever seen the Atlantic Ocean. He’d been eleven - was it really only five years ago? It felt like a lifetime - and he’d gone too far, getting caught in a riptide. Jack had gotten to him easily, but she’d never forget the look on Danny’s face when Jack had pulled him up out of the water and he’d choked, drawing in breath.

Why was that memory coming up now?

Maddie took a deep breath, steadying her hand, which had begun to shake at some point as the ghost child’s screams continued to fill the air. She could hear O’s laughter as Phantom cried out in wordless agony.

What if you’re wrong, Maddie? kept being screamed inside her mind.

This isn’t my son! she argued with herself, pressing the barrel of the weapon close to Phantom's head.

Before she could fire, a loud crack! sounded around the room and Phantom screamed even louder, his body arching even further in the air. The odd shape he contorted into made her heart skip a beat. That was his spine breaking.

He had a spine to break.

Are you willing to kill your son? was a quiet, tired sentiment in her head, the memory of Danny’s terrified eyes the day at the beach and Phantom’s similar look shoved themselves to her.

Not just similar. The same. It’s the same.

That’s my son!

Maddie made her decision instantaneously once she could no longer deny the proof in front of her. She raised her gun and fired at Operative O - knowing she was shooting hundreds of volts of electricity into a human, more than anyone could survive.

Killing a human to save a ghost.

Killing a human to save her son.

He dropped immediately and Maddie released her grip on the gun, letting it clatter to the floor as she ran to the device, quickly turning it off. His body fell heavily onto the table, unmoving and with closed eyes, even his chest still.

“Danny? Danny!” Maddie screamed, pulling the gag out of his mouth and jerking the sticky pads off his skin, ignoring the nausea that sprung up in her stomach as blackened, charred flesh was exposed with each electrode she removed. “Danny, please!”

A single bleary eye opened, unfocused. “Mom?” He asked, his voice hoarse from screaming.

“I’m right here, Danny, I’m right here,” she reassured, fumbling with the button marked to release the cuffs holding him down. They retracted and disappeared.

“You didn’t kill me?”

“No, no, of course not,” she said, running a hand through his hair, biting her tongue to keep from hissing in pain as he was so cold it burned.

“Dad won’t let you dissect me,” he said softly. “He won’t.”

“Oh, God, sweetie, I’m so sorry, I’m not going to hurt you! I swear! But we need to get out of here! Can you sit up?”

He made a grunting sound but nothing happened. “I can’t,” he said, a panicked edge in his voice. “I… do I have legs right now? I can’t… Mom, I can’t feel my legs!” He said, his panic growing the longer he talked, though his speech was slurred.

“Your back,” Maddie realized and guilt burrowed into her soul. “I think you broke your back!” She was struggling not to panic, not to throw up. Had she just paralyzed her son?

“Fuck,” Danny swore, his voice hitching in pain. “It’ll heal. We need… We need…” He trailed off, gaze again unfocused. Maddie had a strong suspicion he was going to lose consciousness any second now.

Determining she had no other option, Maddie leaned over the table, tucking her arms under Danny, lifting him and holding him close to her.

He was so light.

He was so scarred.

God, what had she done?

#grace writes #danny phantom

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