#Hiv positive Girls

[letmemarry]

HIV Marriages for HIV Positive Brides and Grooms in India

In a society where traditions and societal norms often dictate the path of matrimony, the challenges faced by HIV-positive brides and grooms in India, especially in Hyderabad, are distinctive and demanding. This article delves into the complexities surrounding HIV-positive marriages, shedding light on the need for support, understanding, and the creation of a more inclusive environment.

Brief Overview of HIV-Positive Marriages HIV-positive marriages involve couples where one or both partners are living with HIV. Despite medical advancements, societal stigmas continue to surround these unions.

Importance of Support for HIV-Positive Brides and Grooms The emotional and psychological toll on couples navigating HIV-positive marriages emphasizes the crucial need for support networks and understanding within their communities.

Context of HIV-Positive Marriages in India, Specifically Hyderabad India, with its rich cultural tapestry, faces unique challenges concerning HIV-positive marriages, and the city of Hyderabad is no exception.

Understanding the Challenges

Stigma Surrounding HIV-Positive Individuals One of the primary obstacles faced by HIV-positive brides and grooms is the pervasive stigma attached to their condition. Addressing this stigma is vital for fostering acceptance.

Lack of Awareness and Education A significant hurdle lies in the lack of awareness and education regarding HIV transmission, prevention, and the realities of living with the virus.

Emotional and Psychological Challenges Coping with the emotional and psychological challenges is a journey often traveled in isolation. Counseling services play a pivotal role in supporting these couples.

Navigating the Wedding Preparations

Support Networks for Couples Establishing robust support networks is essential for couples preparing for an HIV-positive marriage. Friends, family, and community organizations can offer invaluable assistance.

Counseling Services Professional counseling services provide a safe space for couples to address their concerns, fears, and aspirations, ensuring they embark on their marital journey with resilience.

Positive Examples and Success Stories Highlighting positive examples and success stories of HIV-positive marriages inspires hope and resilience within the community, dispelling myths and misconceptions.

Legal Aspects of HIV Marriages

Rights and Responsibilities Understanding the legal rights and responsibilities of HIV-positive brides and grooms is crucial for navigating societal expectations and safeguarding their union.

Legal Safeguards for HIV-Positive Brides and Grooms Legal frameworks exist to protect the rights of individuals with HIV. Awareness of these safeguards is vital for ensuring fair treatment.

Navigating Societal Norms and Expectations Balancing traditional expectations with the realities of HIV-positive marriages requires open dialogue and education to foster acceptance within communities.

Wedding Rituals and Traditions

Adapting Traditions for HIV-Positive Couples Customizing wedding rituals and traditions ensures that they align with the needs and comfort levels of HIV-positive couples.

Creating a Supportive Environment Fostering a supportive environment during wedding ceremonies helps create a positive and inclusive atmosphere for the couple and their guests.

Inclusivity in Wedding Ceremonies Promoting inclusivity in wedding ceremonies not only supports the couple but also contributes to changing societal perceptions surrounding HIV-positive marriages.

Community Involvement

Raising Awareness Community involvement is crucial for raising awareness about HIV, dispelling myths, and fostering an environment of empathy and understanding.

Building a Network of Support Communities can play a vital role in building a network of support, ensuring that HIV-positive couples have the backing they need to thrive in their marriages.

Encouraging Empathy and Understanding Creating spaces that encourage empathy and understanding reduces stigma and helps the community embrace the diversity of love.

Healthcare Support

Access to Medical Facilities Ensuring access to medical facilities and healthcare services is imperative for the well-being of HIV-positive brides and grooms.

Importance of Regular Check-Ups Regular health check-ups are vital for managing HIV. Encouraging couples to prioritize their health is essential for a fulfilling marital journey.

Dispelling Myths About HIV Transmission Education plays a crucial role in dispelling myths about HIV transmission, promoting a more informed and accepting society.

Financial Considerations

Challenges in Employment Opportunities HIV-positive individuals may face challenges in employment opportunities. Addressing these challenges through advocacy and support is essential.

Financial Planning for HIV-Positive Couples Financial planning becomes crucial for HIV-positive couples, considering potential challenges in the employment sector. Government and NGO support can play a vital role.

Government and NGO Support Governments and non-governmental organizations can contribute significantly by providing financial support and creating initiatives to empower HIV-positive couples.

Social Media and Advocacy

Utilizing Social Platforms for Awareness Leveraging social media platforms is a powerful way to raise awareness, educate the public, and advocate for the rights of HIV-positive couples.

Advocacy for HIV-Positive Marriages Advocacy efforts aim to break down societal barriers, challenge stigmas, and create a more inclusive society for HIV-positive couples.

Empowering Couples Through Online Communities Online communities provide a space for couples to share experiences.

[queerism1969]

[tommyfebuary6]

Somalia’s only all-female media team, Bilan, is launching the country’s first TV current affairs show to be hosted by a woman.

The debate show, which plans to address some taboo subjects, will also be the first programme on Somali television to have a panel of at least 50% women, and the first to broach contentious topics, such as a critical shortage of female teachers and the challenges faced by women trying to get into politics, as well as environmental issues.

Reaction to the pilot was overwhelmingly positive, said the host, Naima Said Salah, and exposed the impact that a dire lack of information had on girls. “One young woman in the audience shared her own experience. She remembered the exact time and day when her period started because she had no idea what was happening. She thought she was dying. It was only after she told her older sister, that she understood,” said Salah, a senior reporter at Bilan.

Salah added that she was proud to bring the subject of periods into public debate. “Women, including me, never had the opportunity to learn about periods as girls; even our own mums don’t discuss it. People think this is taboo, but it is a fact; it exists and we cannot ignore it.”

Somalia’s media sector is male-dominated, with a strong focus on politics. All six founding members of Bilan have faced discrimination and harassment in their careers. The project was set up to offer women a safe space to tell the stories they wanted to tell, and has covered a wide range of under-reported stories, including Somalis living with HIV, child abuse and postnatal depression.

“One reason why women’s stories are rarely told in the Somali media is that most reporters are men. Bilan will change that,” said Ibrahim at the time. “Women will speak to us because we too are women. They will allow us into their homes, their prayer rooms and their private spaces.”

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

i've been seeing a lot of falsettos posts recently deconstructing the fandoms beliefs and firstly

holy fuck thank you, i try to steer clear of fandom (and fandom-izing thereof) drama but this is getting a lot more visible recently so here's some little tidbits for you

whizzer brown is not an unflawed character!

okay so i haven't seen enough dissecting this but!!! in the chess game!

the whole point of marvin using that game to determine the ending of their relationship is because he suspects whizzer is constantly deceiving him and wants to prove it.

whizzer LITERALLY proves him right!

he asks marvin to help him along (yes i know he says he doesn't want help, hear me out, it's a little more complex than that) and takes advantage of the fact that marvin is- like- infatuated with him.

he draws him into a sense of false security then starts throwing accusations at him ("since you need a man!" "what?" "who's 'brainy'," "or witty, move.") until hes able to win, which he does with ease because he's been using marvin having this idea that he isn't smart against him.

of course, marvin's side of this isn't the best either but honestly, for once the fandom should focus on a different character when they think 'insane asshole'. typically we should also probably change our perspectives a little to be more unbiased cuz fr guys, this is getting really.. annoying.

i understand he's the most visibly flawed but that doesn't excuse constantly picking the worst parts of this musical (without other context, btw) to use against him.

and this post certainly isn't here to excuse anyone either i've just got a lot of opinions that i wanted to share while falsettos is.. trending? right?

2. marvin's (headcanoned but still somewhat researched) autism

this one isn't brought up as much but when i do see it around, it's kind of a skewed viewpoint.

while rewatching bits of the proshot i realized a lot of different neurodivergent traits that he shows-

he's helpless during I Never Wanted to Love You and is childish and regressive when he's upset (not every autistic person is like this either, i know this is a bit of a touchy subject so i just wanted to add that).

usually when people depict it i see it either toned down or joked about which is fine when all in good fun, and when its done respectfully.

not here to attack anyone, just here to point it out and say that yes :) he most likely is neurodivergent, but despite that his actions aren't condoned. he's still kinda a dick who needs to get his shit together

3. ..the lesbians also have shit going on?

just putting this out there- I DON'T SEE ENOUGH FOR THE LESBIANS! OR TRINA!

the girls in this musical are like thoroughly neglected and i think that's kind of shitty just assuming the fact that william finn put them in to demonstrate how gender roles put people in degrading positions (and he even makes it more prevalent by showing marvin as something like a misogynistic character who forces whizzer into more feminine roles to show the audience what woman have to/had to go through in society).

anyways, the lesbians aren't just there guys. they have a plotline too. in Something Bad is Happening, you derive a lot from charlotte singing about the outbreak of HIV/AIDS and realize how she operates on a daily basis (she's passionate about her work and takes every bad day as a hit to her life and career, explaining in a way that as a black, jewish, lesbian, FEMALE doctor in this time, everything that goes wrong is immediately brought down on her so much more than it would as any straight white male pharmacist-).

cordelia on the other hand has to handle the fact that her girlfriend is so adamant about her work ethic that she can't actually be super present in their relationship at times like that.

but either way she still sticks by her and is constantly trying to be supportive and endearing despite feeling like she's not amounting to her gf who's basically a hero in her eyes.

i kinda just wanted to bring that up because they mean a lot to me and they don't get enough love from the fanbase, thank you for listening to my TED talk <3

[daegu-based-terrorist]

hivliving was a tumblr blog ran by a wealthy american white girl who claimed to be an HIV-positive muslim sex trafficking survivor who was part pakistani and part chinese who lived in india with her transfem christian somali girlfriend

she did all this so she could write hamilton HIV fanfiction without being criticized

What the fuck even happens on this website

[astrobiscuits]

Chiron: where is our physical (and mental) wound?

I'm currently reading a book about Chiron (did you know it's actually half asteroid, half comet? me neither), which inspired me to make this post. I'm in no way an expert in medical astrology, just a curious owl that wants to learn more about every branch of astrology out there (my Sag Venus loves it!!🤭)

DISCLAIMER!!! I'm not a doctor. If you've been feeling any symptoms described here, TALK WITH YOUR DOCTOR, NOT WITH ME

Observation: Before we dive in, i'd like to mention that the position of Chiron in the houses is important. Not every house placement suggests having a poor physical condition. The most prominent Chiron placements when it comes to having a medical condition are: Chiron in 1st house (house of self, visible illnesses), Chiron in 5th house (illnesses since birth/early childhood), Chiron in 6th house (house of health, if Saturn is also sitting there it points to chronic illnesses), Chiron in 8th house (house of death, may point to severe diseases or poor reproductive health) and Chiron in 12th house (house of the unconscious, deals with mental illnesses)

Honorable mention to Chiron in 3rd house and Chiron in 9th house as they represent accidents while travelling. If Chiron is heavily afflicted in these houses (unless it's also conjuncting Jupiter), it may point to...let's just say you're gonna be in a hospital bed in a vegetative state, but remember, nothing has a 100% possibility of happening, you're just more susceptible to it happening. I suggest checking the position of Chiron in Solar Return charts for the possible timing of it happening (look for Chiron in 3rd house/Chiron in 9th house as it activates your natal Chiron)

Without further do, let's dive in⚕️

Chiron in Aries: frequent headaches, frequent nose bleeds, teeth problems (sensitive teeth, tooth decay), deafness, skull fractures, cerebral anemia, brain tumours, hemophilia, epilepsy, BPD

Chiron in Taurus: frequent colds, frequent voice loss, thyroid problems (goiter, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidis, etc.), tonsilitis, OCD

Chiron in Gemini: lung problems (asthma, tuberculosis, pneumonia, etc.), speech problems (stuttering, cluttering, mutism), alzheimer's disease, ADHD, OCD

Chiron in Cancer: frequent stomach pain, prone to lactose intolerance, (for girls) breast lumps, breast cysts, breast infections, nipple discharge, depression, anxiety

Chiron in Leo: prone to insolation, frequent heart palpitations, chest pain, hypertension, hypotension, arteriosclerosis, scoliosis, kyphosis

Chiron in Virgo: frequent bloating, prone to gluten intolerance, chronic allergies, diabetes, rabies, autism, ADHD, OCD

Chiron in Libra: prone to acne, frequent lower back pain, disc herniation, spondylolisthesis, chronic kidney disease, kidney stones

Chiron in Scorpio: frequent pain down there, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV/AIDS, depression

Chiron in Sagittarius: frequent pain in the hips, prone to hips dislocation, cirrhosis, sciatica

Chiron in Capricorn: prone to knees dislocation, osteoarthritis, bone problems (osteopenia, osteoporosis), gout, depression

Chiron in Aquarius: electrical injuries, shin splints, osteofibrous dysplasia, ankle sprain, ankle fractures, poor blood circulation, schizophrenia

Chiron in Pisces: prone to break toes, athlete's foot, bunions, addison's disease, hormonal deregulation, aphantasia, psychosis, schizophrenia, anxiety

Yes, i'm aware of the fact that it's a generational planet and it moves very slowly through signs

BONUS: It's important to take into consideration all planets that conjunct, square or opposite Chiron (regardless if they're personal or generational) + the Ascendant for additional info about our illnesses

Ex. Let's take me as an example. My Chiron is in my 10th house in Capricorn squaring Saturn in 4th house (so double Capricorn energy) and Aries Ascendant. Guess what? I've got TMJ (basically a jaw disorder affecting the joints) and i've got it from my fam -_- (Saturn rules tradition i love my fam)

I also believe that having a heavy afflicted Chiron in general makes someone prone to having a medical condition, even if it's not in the houses mentioned previously (like in my case). However, these people are more focused on the main meaning of the house, not their health problems. They tend to ignore their health problems or they just don't care

I hope you enjoyed my post and found it insightful :)

What's your wound? Lmk in the comments your placements and your illnesses

Kisses xoxo

[qqueenofhades]

When Hob said "I think I have been stood up", I full on expected the barkeeper to react to that as if Hob's date hasn't showed and telling him not to be worried because he has seen many couples fight and make up afterwards and is sure Hob's relationship will survive it. Like, I was genuinely so surprised when the barkeeper talked about "friends" haha

Okay okay okay okay but. I gotta say something SO IMPORTANT about this from my position as Tumblr Old and Local Queer Historian, because.... yes. And that is:

That scene takes place in 1989.

Why is that important, you say? Well, because this is the end of an entire decade of the AIDS crisis. There has been endless fearmongering and conservative attempts to paint gay men explicitly as disease-ridden degenerate pedo Threats to Your Community who might infect your children with AIDS and make them dirty homos by so much as LOOKING at them, pretty much. They are literally toxic people, they are generally shunned, nobody knows what to do and is terrified of the fact of how quickly AIDS patients usually die with no effective treatment. And oof it makes me feel Some Kinda Way for Hob, born in the middle of the Black Death and who was haunted by that shadow all his life, experiencing this as a queer man in the 1980s. Like, he almost certainly lost several friends to it at least, watched them die, probably went in there to the wards when few other people would, both because he's immortal anyway and he doesn't think it's right to leave them alone.

Anyway, in the UK, it was literally only 2 years before, in 1987, when Princess Diana opened the first dedicated AIDS unit at London Middlesex Hospital, and publicly shook hands with a man who had HIV -- which was shocking because many people still thought you could get it through casual physical contact. So while on the surface, Hob looks like your average 1980s douchebro -- he's got the brand new Porsche, the slicked back hair, the giant brick cellphone, the works -- he is still going into public to have a date with a man he is in love with, regardless of whether either of them will ever admit that or act on it. (And given how 1889 ended, if Morpheus does show up, they ARE kinda gonna have to talk about it in some way.) Hob is, in this moment, incredibly vulnerable. Emotionally and socially for sure, and if the local macho assholes clock him as a Fag, probably physically too.

So that conversation when Hob says he's been stood up is absolutely LOADED with subtext, things he isn't saying, and things the bartender understands about him and tries to support. They're British, so by nature they're not huge on talking about their feelings, but Hob says he's been stood up. He doesn't use pronouns, he doesn't say it was by a girl, and if the bartender used the word "couple," it would generally presume that he too thought Hob’s date was a girl. So he goes for the most careful, also-has-a-long-queer-history use of "friends." He implies it's more than that, but he doesn't say so or put Hob on the spot for probably dating a man, because again, it's not safe.

After that is when Hob orders a drink, and the bartender tells him that people in this country can do anything if they have money. He's trying to subtly communicate that this is a safe place and he won't judge, and Hob picks that up immediately, which is why he is so shocked to hear that the White Horse has been sold and is going to be torn down for condos. Hob is losing not just the one place he can be assured (well, until now) of meeting his Stranger, but a place that has been subtly communicated to be safe for him personally, as a queer man in 1989. That is undoubtedly part of why he immediately refuses to countenance the idea of this actually happening, buys the pub, makes giant signs, hangs out in the New Inn until Dream actually does come back, etc. So like... there is so much going on in that scene, and maybe only 25% of it can be said aloud. Which I think is absolutely critical for you younguns to understand, so. Yeah.

[fanellifest]

Who Was Joe Fanelli?

The Joe-verview

Joe Fanelli (c. April 12, 1954 – June 3, 1993) was an American from Franklin, Massachusetts; an ex-boyfriend of Freddie’s; later, his very dear friend; later still, his nurse/caregiver.

Joe and Freddie met in 1978, and their relationship lasted until they broke up some time in 1979. Afterwards, Joe continued to live in the UK—working as a professional chef in several London restaurants, including September and Provan’s—with his residency arrangements as a non-UK Citizen (likely via a work visa) being secured in effort by Freddie himself.

Likely stemming from the stressful nature of his relationship with Freddie—which included uprooting his entire life to a foreign country—and also the prevalence of drinking in the culture of professional chefs, Joe developed an alcohol dependency as a coping mechanism. According to Peter Freestone, by the time Joe had been hired full time to reside in Garden Lodge in 1985, he had gotten sober and sought new solace in regularly going to the gym. He also was “a dedicated vegan” as written by Brian in Queen in 3-D.

Consider this the Hot Girl Comeback that follows the Bad Bitch Fumble.

In addition to his professional culinary training and workout habits, Joe also found a hobby in computers, teaching himself how they worked, how to write programs (including coding a version of Countdown which could be played at home), and familiarizing himself with the internet during his efforts to research HIV/AIDS information.

Said research was of particular importance as Joe, along with Peter Freestone, became one of Freddie’s caregivers all the while dealing with his own HIV/AIDS diagnosis.

With regards to personality, Joe is described by Peter Freestone as “highly intelligent,” having “a positive nature,” and “prepared to argue anything, stand up for whatever.” Jim Hutton wrote in Mercury and Me that Joe had “a cautious approach to people and life,” and recalled the following event which possibly provides insight to the dynamics of Freddie and Joe’s working relationship/friendship, and definitely gets a laugh:

Joe was standing by the sink in the kitchen and Freddie was sitting at the table looking very stern. ‘And you’re fired, too!’ Freddie snapped at me. ‘Pardon?’ I said. ‘You can’t sack Jim,’ Joe told Freddie with a gloriously smug expression. ‘Why not?’ he snapped. ‘Because he doesn’t work for you!’ he said. ‘Oh, no he doesn’t, does he?’ Freddie replied.

There are several anecdotes about or involving Joe in many of the published memoirs written by those close to Freddie, and we’ll hopefully be able to share some of those here soon.

More in-depth posts about many of these topics—Joe’s relationship with Freddie, his job with Queen on tour, his role at Garden Lodge—will be coming with more specifics!

It says a lot regarding Joe’s character, about the type of person he was, to make several life changes and to also reconnect with an ex after a less-than-ideal falling out, repairing a friendship that lasted the remainder of their lives. As one of the lesser-known people in Freddie’s orbit, we hope this post helped you get to know Joe Fanelli a bit better.

What is remembered lives.

[marcusbrutus]

“The hivliving situation isn’t funny she took advantage of people” actually it’s hilarious. White girl college student literally pretended to be a lesbian Muslim Chinese Pakistani human trafficking survivor HIV positive married to an Indian transwoman and she and her group of fandom police called other people online racist and severely bullied them because they wrote Hamilton fanfiction she didn’t like. Not only that but she did all this so she could write her OWN shitty hamilton fanfic. She wrote about her struggles as a person of color and HIV survivor and talked as if she was an authority on these topics and no one called her out because they actually believed her insane story and didn’t want to call her on it. And All of it was a lie. Identity politics is insane. I wouldn’t be surprised if a vast number of people on tumblr are doing something similar while also being white girl college students. It is so fucking funny and I’m tired of pretending it’s not. Tumblr is most certainly a website.

[letmemarry]

Matrimony for HIV-Positive Grooms and Brides in India

In a country where societal norms often shape the contours of relationships, the narrative around HIV marriages is undergoing a transformation. Across the vibrant landscapes of Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, and Kolkata, couples are not merely bound by love but are pioneers in rewriting the script of matrimony. In collaboration with letmemarry.com, these cities are witnessing a resurgence of hope, resilience, and the celebration of love that transcends the limitations imposed by HIV.

Mumbai: A Tapestry of Love and Resilience In the bustling city of dreams, Mumbai, HIV couples are weaving a tapestry of love and resilience. Letmemarry bureau, as a catalyst, plays a pivotal role in connecting souls. The city's cosmopolitan spirit embraces diversity, fostering an environment where couples facing the challenges of HIV can build a life together. From strolls along Marine Drive to the vibrant street food culture, Mumbai offers a canvas where love knows no boundaries.

Delhi: Embracing Love Amidst Traditions Delhi, the heart of the nation, is witnessing a harmonious blend of tradition and progressive values in HIV marriages. Letmemarry Bureau in Delhi is not just a platform; it's a bridge that connects hearts beyond the stigma of HIV. The city's rich history becomes a backdrop for couples as they navigate life together, overcoming societal norms and building a future steeped in understanding and mutual support.

Bangalore: Tech Hub and Hub of Love In the Silicon Valley of India, Bangalore, where innovation thrives, letmemarry.com is carving a niche for fostering meaningful connections among HIV couples. Beyond the tech corridors, couples explore the city's parks, cultural events, and eclectic cafes, forging bonds that withstand the challenges of societal misconceptions. Bangalore's progressive mindset provides a supportive ecosystem for couples in HIV marriages.

Kolkata: Artistic Expression of Love Kolkata, with its artistic soul, provides a unique backdrop for HIV couples to express their love. Letmemarry bureau in Kolkata actively engages with the artistic community, breaking down stereotypes. From the iconic Howrah Bridge to the serene boat rides on the Hooghly River, the city offers a poetic setting for couples to script their love story, free from the shackles of societal judgment.

Life Together: Triumphs and Challenges

Navigating life as an HIV couple in these cities comes with both triumphs and challenges. While the supportive ecosystem created by letmemarry.com fosters understanding and love, societal stigma remains a hurdle. The couples' resilience, mutual support, and the platform's commitment to inclusivity contribute to the triumphs over adversity.

Celebrating Everyday Moments

In the midst of societal challenges, HIV couples in these cities find joy in everyday moments. From sharing a cup of chai in Mumbai's local trains to exploring Delhi's historical landmarks hand in hand, from tech-inspired dates in Bangalore to artistic expressions of love in Kolkata's cultural festivals, every moment becomes a celebration of their unique journey together.

Summary:

Redefining Love, One City at a Time

In conclusion, the top four cities in India – Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, and Kolkata – are not just witnessing HIV marriages; they are witnessing a redefinition of love itself. With letmemarry.com as a guiding force, couples in these cities are navigating life together, breaking down societal barriers, and rewriting the narrative of matrimony in a way that celebrates love in its purest form.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

Oh hello again everyone! Apologies to the three people who are probably interested in this syllabus journey for falling off the face of the earth for the last few months. Had a lot of life changes and travel going on and have not been falling desperately behind in all of the things I have been watching. Now that I am back home for more than two days at a time, I figured I should get back into the swing of things with @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus.. With this post I am officially wrapping up Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley and will get to reap my reward with Lesbians and Gems for Units 5 and 6. As a reminder the films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004), Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986), Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the Side (1995)

Today I will be talking about:

Boys on the Side (1995) dir. Herbert Ross

[Run Time: 1:55, I watched it through Plex, Language: English]

Summary: Robin shares a ride in her car with Jane from New York to Los Angeles. They stop at Jane's friend Holly's place in Pittsburgh and take her with them west, making a long stop in Tucson. The three very different women become close friends.

Cast:  - Whoopi Goldberg as Jane - Mary-Louise Parker as Robin - Drew Barrymore as Holly

___

OKAY. Shout out to me for getting through the final film in Heartbreak Alley without crying! 

A trend I have noticed throughout the sad films in this section is that the vast majority of them hold the sadness until the end, which is super fair, but also something I would consider to be rather kind. Maybe it’s just me, but seeing Mysterious Skin so early on in this syllabus really altered my perception of what a difficult movie looked and felt like. The movie that compromised me the most in this unit was far and away Strange Fruit, which sits in the Mysterious Skin camp of being great and also something I will struggle to ever watch again. By comparison, a lot of the Heartbreak Alley films were fine. 

I liked how much Boys on the Side was about the bonds between women and the importance of found family. I love a movie where the premise is: girls do crime and then hit the road together. I like how expertly this film was able to pull back the layers on Robin, until you hit the reveal of her HIV diagnosis. When we first meet her, she’s just a kind of put together, somewhat annoying and anal white woman that wants to hit the road for god knows what reason, and you (and Jane) roll your eyes a little at how often she is sanitizing things. 

And then she vomits, and you can kind of just dismiss it as the allergies she says it is. 

And then Jane leaves the car to go see Holly and Robin uses that moment alone to take some medication, and things start to unravel. She goes to bed really early, she looks haggard the longer they are endurance testing their driving on the road. Something is definitely wrong with her, and BOOM, she’s collapsed and is hospitalized, and you find out she’s HIV positive. 

I liked how distinct all three of the main characters felt, and I liked their friendship with one another. The full blown, silent conversations that can pass between them. I like the little moments in a slice of life, the birthday parties, the dancing, Jane making Robin shout “Cunt” because she feels uncomfortable referring to her vagina. I liked that having HIV was just a detail in her life, and that the movie itself didn’t feel like An AIDS Movie. 

Even though Robin is surrounded by red the whole time, something which I usually associate with AIDS itself because of blood and red ribbons. Robin’s car is red, the lighting in her first hospital room is read, the list of plumbers and landlords she leaves on the fridge at her old apartment in New York is red, they settle in Tuscon, they live in a house made of red clay. But she is never the one that is painted in it. She never wears red, she is not the one painted by it. Jane is the one that bleeds in this film, Jane is the one washed in the red lights of the hospital. But the bigger instances of red: the car, the house contains an entire life inside it. A friendship. Happiness, sadness, anger, joy. You barely even notice that it’s there. 

When Robin’s initial case of pneumonia was resolved, the doctor wasn’t worried about it, and even though Robin did pass by the end of the film, the movie itself wasn’t about her dying of AIDS. It was about the friendship between Jane, Robin, and Holly. At least that’s how it felt for me. 

Definitely my favorite part of this film was that Robin was allowed to be absolutely pissed and to kick Jane out of the house when Jane revealed her status to the man Robin liked. Jane was just trying to be helpful, and the man himself was very chill and totally fine with her status. But Jane didn’t have a right to disclose that information. 

I want to know more about the writers of this film, because I liked that the person in the movie who had AIDS was not the former drug user, or the queer person, but the heterosexual, cisgender, white real estate agent. That it seems to have been a little bit of time since she got her diagnosis, and she’s got a handle on how she is dealing with her grief. She doesn’t pity herself, once Jane and Holly know about it, she’s very casual with her references to the blood tests she needs, etc. 

Even if AIDS is a death sentence still in a movie like this one, I still think the film itself is kind about how they portray it. Robin can still be there for the people she cares about. She can get a very violent situation under control, she can fly across the country and testify to try to help Holly, she brings Jane happiness, music, fun. She doesn’t want a funeral, she wants a big party in the house they shared. She makes it long enough to tell Jane she was loved, to go home and meet Holly’s baby. 

We don’t have to watch her die, and even though the last scene of the film itself is an empty house, the understanding that Robin is dead, we don’t have to see her mother, who already lost her husband and her son, mourn her, we don’t have to watch her die. And we are immediately handed the end credit title cards that are just a compilation of the happy moments between Jane, Holly, and Robin. They don’t make you sit in the emotions there for very long. You get the sad scene of Robin seeing the visage of her dead brother, telling Jane what she wants to happen after she’s passed. And then it is immediately followed with a birth, with happiness and humor. You get the happiness of the baby shower when Holly gets out of prison and then the sadness of a shared song and an empty house, and Jane painting her nails in the car as she continues on her journey. And then you get Robin’s face, smiling away, laughter, chaos, joy at all these little moments in the film. 

A good movie to end this section on, both as a wind down piece and as an appetizer for Unit 5: Lesbians. 

Favorite Moment

I think my favorite moment of the film was when Jane and Robin meet Abe for the first time. Mostly because it is absolutely fucking hilarious to watch the paragraphs of silent, judgemental conversation they are having with each other while simultaneously trying to process that Holly who accidentally murdered a guy is dating a cop. It was truly such an expert portrayal of the psychic connections you forge between close friends. 

Favorite Quote 

“Everyone go potty, we don’t want to have to stop,”

I know what you are thinking. “Wen, why the fuck is that your favorite quote of the film?” It’s because of the context. Picture this, you have entered an apartment that is not your own after seeing through the window that the person who responded to your newspaper ad looking for a road trip buddy is in a fight with a random guy. The apartment you enter is a mess and your road trip buddy and her friend are bleeding at the hands of an abusive, drug dealing, asshole. You have managed to get the situation under control once already through sheer force of reasonable suggestion, only to have it ruined when this woman you do not know hits the abusive fucker over the head with a baseball bat. 

THEN because you don’t want to murder him, but you also don’t want him to catch up to you, you and these two women you barely know, tie this man to a chair with rope and duct tape. You have thought through the timing of how long it will take him to break through the binds and have thought about the noise and found a music disc that will last long enough to give you one hell of a head start. You are standing next to this guy who just beat up two people you barely know, who you have hog tied, and who is bleeding from his temple, and in the flattest, most mother telling her child to do a simple task way, you suggest that everyone uses the potty before they essentially enter a getaway car and escape from the scene of this assault. It was just so fucking funny to me. 

Score 

8/10 

I enjoyed the movie, but I think I wanted a little bit more attention and depth on Jane and less on Holly. I think there were a few too many threads going on, and that some of the set up was unnecessary. But I had a good time. 

And that’s it! I have finished Unit 4, I have so many more films to watch, but I inch ever closer to getting to rewatch Big Eden so onward I charge!

[zdrawet]

It could be better, but I'm too tired...

Girls opened the door at the wrong time)

Closer + Bonus:

This thought still won't leave me:

Howard cares about his boy and he is against the dirty Japanese touching him.

Translate:

Howard: The next time your mongrel touches my boy, I'll rip his dick off!

Heiter: Who needs your HIV positive twink... (besides, you can just cut it off)

[svampyr]

Gods. All these people deep in the Gambit fandom.

WHERE WERE Y’ALL WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL?!

It was literally me and one other girl who would obsess over Gambit like crazy. Squeeing over comic books and the latest episode of X men: TAS.

My other top obsessions:

Northstar - Alpha Fight (fun fact: One of the first openly gay comic characters to come out as HIV positive)🏳️‍🌈

Chamber - Generation X

Night crawler - Excalibur

I love how much the new generation has picked up on the Gambit story in X men and runs with it.

I love them all, but Gambit will always have my heart.

SEE?! I TOLD YOU IT WAS COOL!!

[90s-2000s-barbie]

I normally don’t post much personal stuff but when I got my baby Lilly, she unfortunately had FIV (feline version of HIV) her poor health has been slowly declining recently. The poor girl is only 3. 😭🩷 She’s currently in surgery right now, we dropped her off and got the OK that they r going through with it. I’ve just been worried sick about her and can’t wait till she’s back home healing and hopefully she stays healthy. 🙏❤️ Would love some positive vibes right now. Been loosing sleep about her for weeks now. So relieved today is the day and can’t wait till she’s home!

[omgthatdress]

Oh, look, another blonde hair, blue eyed doll from AG. I watched the cute little stop-motion short film AG made for Courtney, and I have to admit, it was fucking cute and her charm won me over.

There’s *some* actual historical engagement with the popularization of video games. The biggest thing is that her mom is running for mayor of their fictional town in California (because of course Courtney has to be a Valley Girl) and faces a bunch of sexist BS on a TV interview. It covers the space shuttle era of space travel, Challenger disaster and the emotional impact that had on the United States.

In her second book, Courtney has a classmate with AIDS. I’m glad that was included, because putting AIDS and HIV-positive kids in schools was a huge fight in the 80s. Here in Tampa, the mother of Eliana Martinez, a disabled girl who had contracted HIV in a blood transfusion at birth, went to court to get her daughter into school, and a federal judge ruled she could go to school as long as she spent the day in a glass cage like an animal. It was that bad. Eventually, Eliana was able to attend school without the cage because her mother, Rosa, was amazing.

In spite of everything I like about Courtney’s story, let’s be real. AG’s 80s doll should have been Latina. A Cuban-American girl living in Miami, with at least one parent who’s an Operacíon Pedro Pan adoptee, and with relatives who came over during the Mariel Boatlift. And I’m not just saying that because my parents were living in Miami in the 80s, I’m saying it because Miami was an incredible place in the 80s.

Operacíon Pedro Pan was a program by the U.S. State Department and Catholic Church for Cuban children to be sent to America when parents feared they would lose their parental rights and their children would be sent to communist indoctrination camps. It was a chance for their kids to be raised as Catholic in free America instead of atheists under the brutal Castro regime. About 14,000 children were removed from Cuba to be mostly re-settled in Miami.

You may be familiar with the Mariel Boatlift if you’ve seen the opening scene of Scarface, which actually sums up the situation pretty well.

Now, granted, Mariel only happened between April and October of 1980. Even after the boatlift officially ended, people seeking to flee Cuba continued to come on boats. The “wet foot, dry foot” policy meant that anyone fleeing Cuba who managed to set foot on American soil was guaranteed asylum. However, they had to face the US coastguard trying to intercept them and turn them back on the water. Refugees from Haiti fleeing the Duvalier regime also flocked to Miami, but since Duvalier was right-wing, Haitians weren’t granted the same protections as Cubans were and it was absolute bullshit.

On top of all that, Miami also had thriving African-American, Afro-Caribbean, Colombian, Jewish, and gay communities. There was just SO MUCH incredible stuff going on in Miami in the 80s, and I mean, hello, Miami Vice was a whole aesthetic!

You could include all the stuff that’s going in in Courtney’s books and STILL pack in so much more amazing history. The overall vibe I get with Coutney’s collection is that even though there’s some good stuff in her stories, it’s more about selling 80s nostalgia than actually teaching 80s history, which is a travesty. I know it’d be hard to engage with 80s politics and Ronald Reagan without pissing off a *lot* of people, but you can still engage with some serious 80s history if you just look outside of the blonde hair, blue eye box.

[olderthannetfic]

Trying to police who can write what is a good way to get a second hivliving scandal and re-traumatize a bunch of people all at once. (If you managed to miss that bit of gossip, a white college girl spent multiple years pretending to be a Pakistani-Chinese Muslim HIV-positive human trafficking survivor living in India with her Somali-American Catholic trans wife AND a friend to herself who she went to school with in the states in order to justify writing a Hamilton fanfic set during the AIDS crisis and being a Callout Queen in the Hamilton fandom, and the entire thing was undone because she’d tried to cancel someone who wrote a cannibal-mermaid AU so they snatched her entire wig by pulling apart everything about the story.)

--

Oh, I remember. If only that kind of bullshit were an isolated incident.