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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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5 Simple Rules for a Successful Fake Relationship: The Proposal

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: Your's and Ben's agents approach you about pretending to date in order to boost interest in your new movie.

Warnings: Nothing for this chapter other than some swearing maybe? Things may get a little spicy in later chapters though.

Words: 5843

AN: This fic was written for El @laedymoon for her 1K celebration! I took the trope 'fake dating' and this was the result! Honestly fake dating is one my my fave tropes and I've been wanting to try my hand at it for a while so this was so much fun to write! Originally it was meant to be a one shot but when have I ever been good at sticking to plans lmao? Instead it'll probably end up as a three or four part series, maybe with an epilogue as well, who knows.

I’d also like to point out I started writing this months before we got those photos of Ben and Olivia so this was in no way inspired by anyone’s theories about whether or not their relationship is a PR stunt and I’m not particularly interested in that kind of talk.

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @ezmina98 @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie

You’d known fake celebrity relationships were a thing that happened, you just never expected to be approached about one. But, here you were, sat next to Ben in an office usually reserved for producers meetings, a slight frown on his face as he listened to your agents explain how beneficial it would be if the public believed you were a couple. “It’ll be good for the movie,” your agent, Mary, said matter-of-factly, “Studies show that if people – particularly women ages 15 – 45, the exact demographic we’re targeting – believe a real romance sprouted during the course of filming a movie, they are 78% more likely to see the movie. Plus, your names in the tabloids mean more exposure for both of you which means more offers in future, no matter how well this movie does in the box office. It’s all about being seen, people knowing your names.” “Are you serious?” Ben asked slowly, glancing to you, as if trying to determine your reaction. “Look, Ben, obviously we can’t force you or Y/N to do this,” his agent, Peter, introduced to you moments before, said, “the movie has already started filming and everyone appreciates your opinions, so saying no isn’t going to affect your jobs. But,” he paused, making sure the words were getting through to you both, “we strongly recommend you consider it. There are enough pros to make it worthwhile and it would only have to last until a week or two after the premiere. We can give you the rest of the day to think it over and make your decisions, but we will require an answer by tomorrow morning. If you agree, we can discuss terms and get everything in order to run the first story early next week.”

You and Ben left, tempted to laugh at the strangeness of your morning. “Think I need a coffee after that. You wanna come over to my trailer for a cup?” “Yeah, okay, sounds good,” you followed him quietly for a moment, thinking over the conversation you’d just been part of, “What do you think?” “About what? Coffee? You know I love it,” “Not coffee, the whole pretending to date thing,” “Oh that,” you could almost hear his eyes roll. “You don’t think it’s worth it?” He paused. “Saying no won’t hurt my feelings,” you nudged his shoulder, hoping to ease his obvious discomfort, “it is a weird situation.” “Weird is an understatement. And weren’t you with that Luke guy, what would he say about it?” “He’ll say nothing since we’re not seeing each other anymore,” “Wait, what?” “Yeah that lasted like three dates and went nowhere, I haven’t seen him in weeks.” “Oh, sorry.” You shrugged, “What’s there to be sorry for, he was boring. Anyway, we were talking about you and me.” “Right, that.” Ben opened the door to his trailer and waved you inside, following you over the threshold, “What do you think about it?” “I’m not opposed to it. We already spend a lot of our time pretending to date anyway.” Ben chuckled as he flicked the small kettle on, grabbing your two mugs and the instant coffee. “Plus it would be good to get our names out there a bit more. And we're friends, right?” After the weeks of pre-production costume fittings and script read-throughs you certainly thought you were friends and hoped Ben did too. “Of course we’re friends doofus,” “Thanks dweeb. But that means it'll be fun getting to hang out and stuff.” “So, wait, you think it’s a good idea?” “Well it can’t hurt, can it?” Ben frowned, forehead creased, “Don’t you think it’s all a bit, well, daft? As if us dating, real or not, would really have an impact on the movie, I think that’s bullshit. Plus, y’know, the work we’d have to put in to making it seem real or whatever. That’s just inviting extra stress into our lives and extra work which it doesn’t sound like we’d be getting paid for. Acting’s fun but I don’t want to spend every waking moment doing it.” “Well it wouldn’t be every waking moment would it? Just the ones when they had photographers around. They’ll get a few photos of us leaving set holding hands or out having dinner together and spin it into a big romantic story and all we’d have to do is hold hands and have dinner. And you can’t call bullshit when they had actual statistics to back them up.” “It sounds like you’re trying to convince me.” “No, if you don’t want to I don’t mind, but I also don’t see anything wrong with it. And I think you should actually think about it instead of writing it off instantly.” “So if I said I was into it, you’d want to?” You shrugged, “Yeah. I want this movie to do well, I want this job to go somewhere. And if I have to date you to make that happen I will. That sounded better in my head. I just mean that I’m happy to pretend to date you, even if I wouldn’t in real life, no offence.” “I’m a little offended,” he chuckled, “but really can’t argue with that can I?” “If you’re not comfortable with it, say so and we’ll tell them no,” Ben paused, staring at you as he considered what you’d said, quiet for so long you were sure he was going to say he wasn’t interested. You were about to put him out of his misery and tell him you didn’t want to anymore when he spoke up. “They did say it would be good for the movie and out careers,” “Someone’s coming around,” you sing-songed, taking the mug he offered you. “Alright, I admit, maybe not as awful an idea as I first thought. There are…some pros anyway. And I guess we can hear the terms and then make up our minds properly.” “Aww, looks like I got myself a boyfriend,”

The next morning you found out what you were in for if you did agree to it. Once again both of your agents were waiting in the office but this time a third person was with them when you arrived. “Y/N, Ben, take a seat. This is Barry, he’s a representative from Paramount Pictures.” Barry, with his salt and pepper hair and well cut suit, leaned forward in his seat to shake Ben’s hand and then yours with a pleasant greeting. “Well,” Mary spoke up, “have you made a decision?” Ben looked to you before he spoke, “It’s a tentative yes from both of us. We’d like to hear a bit more about it before we fully agree but, so far, it sounds okay.” “Glad to have you on board,” Barry said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a manila folder full of paper. “In that case, the terms,” Peter said, glancing around to make sure everyone was ready, “If you do agree, we’ll need you to sign some paperwork stating you understand your obligations and all that, so take a copy of these,” he took two small stapled documents from Barry, handing you each one, before passing another to Mary, “just so everyone has all the info at hand.” “Are these the terms?” “Yes. Don’t worry, we’ll explain, but it’s all laid out in there if you need clarification.” “There’s more pages than I was expecting,” Ben said, already sounding like it was becoming too much work to worry about. “You don’t have to worry about the last few pages, it’s mostly just legalese. Essentially, you’ll be required to act like a couple in public. That’s really all there is to it, though contractually it’s a little more complex.” “What does that mean?” “We just need you both to agree to perform specific relationship type moments that we can sell. For instance, Y/N, we will need you to be spotted by paparazzi leaving Ben’s apartment a couple of times. Or vice versa. It is the 21st century afterall.” “You mean like a walk of shame?” you asked, glancing at the paper in your hand. “That’s not the official term on the contract but it’s more or less correct. You’ll need to change clothes, make it look like you stayed the night even if you didn’t really.” “Wouldn’t it be more traditional to wear the previous day’s gear?” “Perhaps but if you’re in the same clothes as the day before the paparazzi can’t sell the photos as easily because they can’t prove they were taken on different days. We want to make these photos easy to sell and easy to circulate. To that end, some paparazzi and gossip blogs will be tipped off by the studio and hopefully word will spread as the buzz around you gets stronger.” “There will also be required dates, of course. At least one of them needs to take place at the French restaurant Boucher because they have a partnership with the studio. There is also a clause about an argument, provided people become interested in your relationship and we keep it going all the way to the premiere.” “Wait, an argument?” Ben flipped through his papers, trying to find the right section. “You just have to be caught arguing, or at least looking like you’re angry and about to fight, just so we can sell the whole trouble in paradise storyline.” “People like conflict,” Mary shrugged, “Otherwise all we need is the two of you to act like a couple in public, maybe a few social media posts, from now until a week after the theatre release. After that you’re free to ‘break up’, though you will also need to sign a non-disclosure agreement which will stop you from talking about it for a few years. We’ll organise a few magazines and gossip sites to run stories about the split and, depending on how the public react to your story, may later run some Ben and Y/N, back together question mark type pieces, entirely fabricated of course.” “You will attend the premiere together and, obviously, do press together. We will tell reporters not to ask about your personal lives, so no one suspects the relationship to be fake, though a few questions may slip through. Though we don’t expect this movie to earn any award nominations since it’s not being marketing for any there may be some later down the track. In that case we may ask you to extend your relationship long enough to attend the ceremonies together, provided you aren’t working on other projects at the time.” “The only other requirements are that, a few times a week you allow yourselves to be seen in public. Hand holding, kissing, really sell the whole fallen in love thing. That’s it really.” “And we can’t even tell our families?” “One leak is all it would take to have this revealed. You tell your mum who accidentally lets slip to the neighbour who sells it to a magazine. And if it’s revealed it could be harmful when it comes to box office numbers, which is the exact opposite of what we want. But enough of these have been done so that we know how to manage them, and all you have to do is keep quiet about it and act like you’re in love. Easy. Are you both on board?” Barry, who’d been quiet throughout the meeting, leaned forward expectantly. You already knew what to say, "I’m in if Ben is,” Ben chewed his lip as he skimmed over the paper in his hands again. He sighed and raised his eyes to where Barry sat, waiting. “I don’t know I-” You’d seen it coming, his answer. Really it wasn’t much of a surprise. Ben didn’t strike you as the sort of person to go in for schemes like this and he’d been hesitant from the second it was suggested. You heard him sigh again as his gaze landed on you and you wondered if he thought less of you for wanting to be part of it. “Okay. I’m in.” You were a little stunned by his change of heart but you were the only one. Everyone else in the room seemed relieved and a little frantic, Barry reaching back into his bag, Mary and Peter talking over each other to assure you both that you’d made the right choice. “Glad to hear that, Ben,” Barry was saying as he pulled out another folder of documents, “Now, we’ll need you to both to sign here.”

After shooting was done for the day you accompanied Ben to a small pub for a drink. Mary and Peter had left the meeting on their phones making hurried calls to get photos of the two of you leaving the set together. You’d jumped a little as Ben grabbed your hand before realising why his fingers were linked through your own. It was warm and he didn’t let you go until you reached the pub, the snap of cameras audible as you walked down the street. You found a booth while Ben headed to the bar, returning a little later with a drink in each hand. “One G and T for my girlfriend,” he laughed as he put the drink in front of you and slid into the seat opposite. “Y’know if you told me last week that I’d have had a boyfriend before we finished filming and that it was you, I would have laughed.” “God me too. Our jobs are so bizarre. Literally what other profession would encourage you to pretend to date?” You laughed and pulled out the papers you’d been given that morning, “And who’d have thought there’d be so many contractual requirements.” “We should add our own set of rules. Like just so we’re clear about what we’d be uncomfortable doing or whatever.” “Safewords?” “Get your mind out of the gutter. Christ, you fake ask a girl out and suddenly all she can think about is sex.” “My mind was in the gutter long before we were set up.” He let out a huff of laughter and shook his head, reaching for his glass. “I know what you mean though. We should definitely define some things,” you grabbed your bag and began digging through it for a pen. When you found it, you turned the papers over giving you a blank canvas to work on, “Firstly sex.” “Should have known,” “May as well start with the big one. Rule 1: No Sex. Completely off the table.” you took a sip of your drink as you began jotting it down. “Your wank game strong?” The conversation was interrupted as you choked on your drink, finally recovering enough to splutter, “excuse me?” “Well it sounds like we might be together for a while. Can’t go on any tinder dates or anything since that would look like cheating. You sure you can last that long? “100 per cent.” “Alright, if you’re sure. Rule one, no sex.” You finished writing it down, rolling your eyes, “What about PDAs? We have to do some but is there anything you’d be uncomfortable with?” “I’m not really one for like public make out sessions,�� “Thank god, me neither.” “Okay, good. What about cuddling and that kind of thing. Man this is weird to talk about,” “Yeah, is a bit. I can do some cuddling in public but y'know, nothing too much. Hugs are fine, an arm around my shoulders is fine. Holding hands is obviously okay.” “What about an arm around the waist?” “Hmmm….maybe. Yeah, I think I’d be okay with that. But your hand never goes below my lower back. I will have no arse grabs or pinches or hands in my back pocket.” “Wasn’t planning on that but good to know. Does cuddling include lap sitting?” “Absolutely not.” “Okay, strong boundaries, I respect that. You going to write all that down?” “Rule 2: PDAs kept respectable and to a minimum. And rule 3: hands above the belt at all times. What about our families and friends?” you asked as you made notes on acceptable PDAs, “chances are we’re going to have to deal with them at some point since they’re going to think it’s real.” “Okay, um, how about…no meeting anyone unless there’s a reason like a family gathering you’d be expected to bring a partner to. And if that does come up we can work out a game plan then.” “Make sense. Rule 4: No families unless no escape.”

By the time you left the pub, your list of rules tucked into your bag, it was quite late. “Hey, you wanna crash at mine tonight?” Ben asked, “we can text Peter and Mary, let them know so they can organise paparazzi for the morning.” “Tonight? I don’t have a toothbrush or a change of clothes or anything.” “We’ll pop into a shop and buy you a new toothbrush, should probably get you one for my place anyway since apparently you’ll be staying over more than once. And I’m sure I’ve got something you can sleep in.” “And tomorrow? Can’t wear this again in case we get photographed.” “I’ll give you something and then I’ll drop you home in the morning,” he shrugged. “I guess that would work,” “C’mon, it’ll be like a sleepover. Stay up late and talk about boys, have things devolve into a sexy pillow fight, sleepover stuff.” “And you say my mind lives in the gutter.” “That’s not a no,” “Alright, I’ll crash at yours. Closer to here than mine is anyway.” “Awesome,” he grinned at you, “c’mon, this way….babe?” “Didn’t sound so convincing there, Ben,” you snorted. “You should have used a pet name then, instead of my actual one. And I was just testing the waters, what’d you think?” “Babe’s okay. As long as we don’t get into weirdly cutesie things like turtle dove or snookums.” “You don’t want me to call you snookums? How about cuddle bunny? Pumpkin pie?” “Oh fuck off,” “Think you mean fuck off honey bear.” “Rule 5: Standard pet names only!”

As much as he clearly enjoyed teasing you, Ben made sure you had a good time with him. He took your hand again but it was only so he could pull you into the warmth of a small Chinese restaurant. It was one he seemed to regularly visit judging by the way the man at the counter knew Ben’s order straight away. He seemed a little surprised when Ben asked to add extra dishes, eyes darting to your entwined hands, and then back to Ben’s face, but he said nothing, just cheerily gave Ben the new price. “What was that about?” you asked as you walked the last block to Ben’s door, each of you carrying a bag, his full of food and yours supplies from the grocery store, “the look he gave you when he saw me?” “Oh, that’s nothing. I used to go to that place a lot with my ex and then we broke up and I kept going on my own cause it’s close and it’s fucking good food. But, um, they know me pretty well and I guess it’s been a while since I took a girl there.” “Well I’m flattered that you chose me to be part of this touching moment,” you laughed and followed Ben to his front door, taking the second bag from him so he could pull his keys from his pocket and let you in. You’d never been inside Ben’s place before so you let him lead you down the hallway towards the kitchen, taking charge of pulling everything from the bags as Ben got out plates and cutlery. “Oh shit, hang on gotta text Mary and Peter,” You took over dividing up the food as Ben dug his phone out of his pocket. A few seconds after he’d sent the message and put his phone down a ding made him snatch it back up again. “Peter says there’ll be someone here to snap us while we leave. They want us to kiss if possible. Guess it’s really started then,” “Guess so. Can I ask one thing?” “Sure,” he said it slowly, almost nervously. “Why’d you change your mind about this? I thought for sure you’d say no.” “Oh, that. I don’t know, I guess I figured it wouldn’t hurt, especially if it was going to benefit the movie. C’mon, don’t want this to go cold,” You weren't sure you believed him but you let him shrug off the question as you picked up your plate and followed him into the living room. The next couple of hours were spent eating and watching trashy reality tv shows, making jokes at their expense. You and Ben kept talking long after the show ended, until he realised how late it was getting. “Better turn in otherwise I won’t get up in the morning,” he laughed. “Yeah, probably a good plan,” you stretched out on the couch, placing a cushion under your head. “C’mon, I’ll show you to your room.” “You mean I’m not sleeping on the couch?” “Oh my god you’re a dork,” he threw another cushion at you, “I have a spare room you can use.” “Well I didn’t know that,” you laughed as you pushed yourself to your feet, following him back down the hallway towards a closed door you hadn’t noticed before. “Nah, you’re all good. It’s honestly mostly used by my friend Joe when he’s travelling over this way. There’re clean sheets in the linen press in the bathroom which is the next door on the right, and extra blankets in the cupboard just there. Also watch the blinds if you try to close them, they can be a little stiff. If there’s anything else you need let me know, my bedroom is at the end of the hall, near the living room.” “Some PJs would be good, if it’s no trouble.” “Oh right, yeah of course, give me a second.” You dropped your bag in a corner of the room and then popped into the bathroom to grab some sheets. Ben came back with an old t-shirt and some flannel pants. “These are mine so they’ll probably be a bit big but they’ll be fine for the night. And they’ll look good for the camera in the morning.” “Thanks,” “That everything?” “Think so, night Ben,” “Night, snookums.” “Rule five mister,” Ben just laughed, pulling your door shut behind him.

Waking up in Ben’s spare room was mildly confusing. The bed faced a different direction than yours did, the blinds blocked out too much of the morning light, and the sheets felt different. But the previous night came back to you and then the reason you were staying at Ben’s did too. It made you too nervous to go back to sleep, too restless to stay there, so you got up and stumbled to the door, opening it just in time to see Ben leaving the bathroom. “Morning,” he groaned with half shut eyes and sleep mussed hair, “you want a coffee?” “Please. Thanks.” He yawned, acknowledging your answer with a nod and left the bathroom to you. When you were done you found him in the kitchen with a steaming mug of coffee in his hands and a second on the bench in front of him. You took it gratefully, letting the warm caffeine wake you up.” “Breakfast? I can offer you toast or cereal unless you wanna wait for pancakes to cook.” You shook your head, “Don’t normally eat breakfast,” Ben looked aghast, “You know breakfast’s important, right?” “Shhh, lemme wake up before you start lecturing me,” Ben smiled into his own mug, falling silent until you’d downed half your drink, “You good now? Alert?” “Close enough. Please don’t tell me about breakfast though.” “I wasn’t going to. There was another text from Peter this morning.” “What’d it say?” “Well, a photographer will be here around nine-ish ready for us, but they said he’ll stay for as long as we take.” “Okay.” “And, um, he was very careful in how he worded it, but they want us to look like we fucked. Also I told them I’d take you home so there may be someone waiting for us there too, he never got back to me on it.” “Shit, okay. Umm, guess I’ll just wear this then?” you indicated the pyjamas you’d borrowed, “might lose the pants though, help sell it a bit more.” “Yeah, guess so,” Ben cleared his throat and took a sip of coffee, his eyes firmly fixed over your shoulder. “What time is is?” “Uhhhh,” he glanced at the oven, “Twenty past eight.” “God I haven’t been up this early on a weekend in months.” “Not one for farmers markets or anything then?” “Not really. Much prefer lying in bed doing nothing.” “Me too,” “We’re meant for each other,” you laughed, “did you want to have a shower or anything?” “Nah, you can if you want though,” “Might as well wait until I get home. But I am gonna clean my teeth, especially if we have to kiss.” “Maybe mess up your hair too, make it look like you didn’t sleep much.” “Well how could I when you’re such a good lover,” “I know you’re joking but if anyone asks, I’m incredible. You came like three times.” “Did I now?” “Of course.” “Good thing no one’s gonna ask then, don’t think I’m great at lying.” “You’re an actress, Y/N. Besides, it’s not really a lie, I am that good. You just haven’t experienced it personally.” You poked your tongue out at Ben as you stood and headed towards the bathroom again but you did as he’d suggested and messed your hair up as much as you could.

“How do I look?” you ask Ben when you were done. “Gorgeous,” he said, eyes raking over every inch of your appearance from the ruffled hair to the hint of panda eyes you’d manufactured with your eyeshadow to the slightly unbuttoned flannel shirt and missing pants. “But do I look like I’ve been thoroughly fucked?” “Oh, right, umm, yes I think so,” “You do? I feel like theres something missing.” You darted back into the bathroom to look in the mirror again, “Oh! I know. Might be taking it a bit far though.” “What is it?” Ben asked, following you and watching you in the mirror. “What if you gave me a hickey?” “Y/N, I-” “Yeah, I know, that’s a weird thing to ask. Don’t worry, I think we’ll be fine without it.” Ben’s cheeks puffed up with air that he slowly let escape his lips, “no, you’re right, if I’d really slept with you last night I would have marked you up a bit. A hickey will definitely make it look more authentic.” “It’s not totally inappropriate for me to ask?” “No, no, we have to make it look legit, it’s a good suggestion. Here, I’ll uhh,” he stepped in close, one hand tentatively winding around your waist to pull you back against him, the other moving to push your hair aside. His breath was hot as he leaned into your neck. You saw him glance at your reflection, eyebrows slightly furrowed, but then his lips were on your skin, sucking at you until a bruise formed. Your own breath quickened with the contact but you knew it was just because he’d found a particularly sensitive spot and it had been a while since anyone had handled you like that. It was still just Ben and it was still part of your jobs. But all the same you let your eyes slip shut and hummed at how nice it felt. You were almost disappointed when it was over. Ben stood there for a moment, head bent over your neck, long enough to take a deep breath, but then he seemed to collect himself, taking a quick step back. “Will that do?” “It’s great Ben, really ties the whole look together.” Ben returned your smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, “Good. Good. Okay then, I’ll umm, what time is it?” “Just after nine,” you said, glancing at your phone, “wonder if the photographer is here yet.” “I think I will jump in for that shower actually, by the time I’m done he definitely will be.” “Okay,” “Make yourself comfortable though, watch some TV or something.” “Alright. Thanks for being so cool about all this. I know you’re a little sceptical about the benefits and everything.” “It’s fine, Y/N, no need for any of that.” He smiled again as you left the bathroom and the door shut behind you, but it still seemed off.

You settled onto the couch to flick TV channels, pausing at a breakfast news show and then at some kids cartoon you didn’t recognise, only stopping when Ben entered the room, clean and dressed. “Hey, I was wondering,” you said, turning towards him, “should I give you a hickey as well?” “No,” You were a little taken aback by how quickly he’d answered. “I mean, I think that’d be overkill. Keep it up our sleeves for next time, yeah?” “Okay, yeah, sure,” “Is he there?” “I think so.” Ben walked towards the window and twitched the curtain aside just enough to peek out, “Yeah, looks like him. Big camera pointing at my front door.” “Okay,” your heart began to beat a little faster, “show time then,” “Show time.” Ben nodded as he turned back to you. “Do we have a plan? I kinda wish I had a script right about now,” Ben laughed a little and you thought he seemed more himself, “I think you should go out first so they can get a good clean shot and then I come out after, maybe with my hand on your back?” “Sounds good,” “Okay, umm, I’ll lock the door and when I turn around you kiss me and then I’ll open the passenger door for you and we’ll drive to your place.” “Don’t bother opening my door. I’m not big into that kind of gesture, plus I think if we were actually being caught by the paparazzi, we’d be getting into the car as quick as possible. Maybe throw a look his way like you aren’t happy about being photographed just so it doesn’t seem too staged.” “Okay, no opening doors, noted.” You shrugged, “I just think it’s a bit old fashioned and unnecessary,” “I’ll keep that in mind for our dates. You ready to do this?” You nodded and stood up, leading the way to the front door. Ben collected his keys and wallet and placed a hand on the lower part of your back, your signal to open the door and step outside. “Kinda wish I had pants on,” you said softly, “It’s a bit brisk,” Ben chuckled as he followed you out, “We’ll put the heating on in the car for you,” he turned to lock the door. You watched him, fingers gripping the key a little tighter than he perhaps normally would, and as soon as he began to turn back around you were moving towards him, one hand thrown around his neck, the other in his hair as your pressed your lips to his. His hand found your back again, pulling you in close as he kissed you back fiercely, as if he were unwilling to let you go after such a good night together, the kiss of a man falling in love. For half a second you forgot it was an act. And then he was gone, his nose brushing yours briefly before there was space between you. You felt a little dazed with Ben looking at you so softly but you took a deep breath and reality came back to you. With another breath your turned and headed towards the car, able to hear the rapid click click click of the camera. You shot a look towards the noise and then got into the car, Ben hopping into the driver’s seat about a second later.

“You’re a good actor,” you said before silence could settle between you, “I already knew that, of course, but the kiss was really good. Almost completely believable.” “As long as it’s believable enough in the photos,” “I’m sure it will be. I think we pulled it off.” Ben nodded, “Yeah. You still chilly?” “Little bit,” He reached over and twisted one of the dials blindly, warm air suddenly washing over your goosebump covered legs, “better?” “So much, thanks.” “I think he might be following us,” “You did tell them we were going to mine, s’pose he’ll be trying to grab a couple of shots of us there.” “Yeah, probably.” “Should we come up with another game plan? Maybe you walk me to my door, we stand there talking for a bit, saying goodbye. I stay and watch you leave before I go inside.” “Perfect. Is another kiss part of the goodbye?” “Careful Ben, you sound almost like you want to kiss me,” you laughed, “but yes, think it needs to be.”

It went completely according to plan. By the time you were getting out of the car the photographer had pulled up outside your house, his camera sticking out the window of his car so he didn’t miss his shot. The camera clicked as Ben took your hand and you led him to your door. “Well, guess that’s it for today. I did have fun with you last night, even if it wasn’t the kind of fun everyone else will think it was.” “Yeah, me too. Happy to have you stay anytime you want to be photographed again. Maybe we’ll get you some PJs that can live at mine though.” “Probably for the best. If this goes well I can see them wanting us to do it again soon.” “Oh definitely. They’ll probably have notes for us so we can get an even better performance next time. You ready to wow them with another kiss?” “Lay it on me, babe,” “Anything you want, snookums,” You groaned but before you could protest too much Ben was kissing you again, softer than before, no longer trying to convince you to stay, just trying to prolong the moment before the goodbye. It left you a little breathless as he cupped your cheek, leaving his hand there when he pulled away. As you opened your eyes you saw him bite his lip and then he leaned in to leave you with a final chaste peck before his fingers slipped from your skin and he was walking away. You let out a long exhale as you watched him go, waving as the car took off. Once you were alone inside, the door firmly shut behind you, you laughed at how ridiculous the whole arrangement was. But at least Ben was a good kisser. Not too firm, not too wet, just the right amount of tongue. Believable enough to give you butterflies.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ahhhh #this was fun #i hope ya'll like it

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shortythescreen · 4 years

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Run With The Wolf.

Warning(s): NSFT/18+ under the read more. Werewolf/anthromorphic AMAB Bloodhound. Brief blood mention but nothing talked about in depth. Vague jealousy/possessiveness but more from a wolfy, scented kind of way. Little bit of breeding kink tossed in at the very end.

Pairing(s): Bloodhound/OC (Valarie Morrigan Everly)

Author’s Note(s): Overjoyed to have done this for my boo @mika-aris! It was super fun to write and I’m so glad she enjoyed it. Hope y’all do too! If you’re interested in a commission, my info can be found here.

The disappearances aren’t a concern right away.

Even now that Val is paying them more attention, they’re not super concerning. Bloodhound always lets her know before they leave, whether from their own mouths, or a note, or the mouth of another Legend sent to tell her. She’s not worried about them, knows that they’re a killer just like the rest of the Legend, that they can handle their own. She’s just… Curious.

They’ve been together long enough for her to notice the cycle with which they take their long hunt. At first, she thought it might’ve been a religious thing – but when Bloodhound revealed to her that they are pagan like she is, she knows there’s no holiday that would require them to disappear as rhythmically, as periodically, as regularly as they have.

She’s intrigued but unwilling to invade their privacy. Bloodhound has shared pieces of themselves that no one else knows, has trusted her with information that the outside world will never know. They are fiercely protective of their business, so much so that not even some of the Legends know the things that Val does. She’s grateful for that, never wants to take it for granted.

But damn it, she really wants to know where the hell Hound goes.

She considers broaching the topic one day after a match, in the process of shedding her gear. It falls to the smooth tiled floor beneath her, bloodied and dirty. Her jacket lands in the pile and she lets out a long sigh, rolling her neck back, tired and in desperate need of a shower. “Elskan,” says Bloodhound, startling her. She turns, finding them standing in the doorway. She raises an eyebrow at them, at the fact that they have yet to shed their gear.

“Hi,” she says, waving a hand. Val likes to think even without being able to see their eyes, she can get a feel of the way they’re looking at her and right now they seem…

Riled.

“Who was it that was on your squad today?” They ask, which seems like an odd question. Val purses her lips, placing her hands on her waist.

“Uh, Revenant. And Octavio,” she tells them, and they hum. Silence passes between them and Val stares, unsure of how to proceed from there. Before she can think of much else, Hound strides across the room. Their feet are sure, swift, and when they finally close in on her, their face finds the curve of her throat. She tilts her head away, lips parting in a quiet gasp, only for her brow to furrow in confusion as Bloodhound… breathes?

There is no biting, or licking, or even kissing. Instead, they just take a deep breath that moves the muscles in their back, that Val can hear when they breathe out.

“Their scent,” they grumble, voice dropping to something low, dangerous. Promising. “It muddles yours. Did Octavio touch you?”

Bloodhound’s squad won the day and Val, Revenant, and Octavio came in a respectable but still frowned upon third. She thinks back, raking her mind for her interactions with her teammates, wondering why it is Bloodhound would ask such a thing. They’re not normally so jealous.

“Uh, yeah, once,” she says and Bloodhound outright growls, suddenly pinning her to the lockers that rattle at her back. She gasps, cool metal like heaven against the hot skin revealed by her small top. Bloodhound reaches up with one hand and pulls off their helmet, divesting themselves of their helmet, revealing their full lips, the slope of their nose, their filthy red hair. “Hound, what-”

“I wish to wash you of their scent, elskan.” They murmur out. Their scent? The only thing Val can smell on Octavio is sweat after a match. It’s such an oddity, something so strange, and Bloodhound grabs her by the hips, growling as they raise their eyes.

“I wish to rectify that, if it would please you, elskan.” They say and when their hands slide down to her ass, she gets their meaning.

“Well…” She trails off because she’s definitely not opposed, already feels scorched by wherever their hands touch her. “Yeah. Okay.”

So they do.

---

Following their rendezvous in the locker room, Bloodhound seems… Smug. Which is unusual for them. They normally walk around with a level of humility that seems befitting of someone who is such a reverent servant of the gods. Still, they are more prone to touching Val where the other Legends can see, insistently nestling themselves into her throat, breathing her in.

They sit on her sofa, watching some silly cartoon she can’t be bothered to remember the name of. Their arms are wound firmly around her shoulders, chin resting on top of her head, their red curls hanging around her face. Their fingers are frigid, curled around her shoulders, and one of her hands rests over the one on her right shoulder, trying to warm it with gentle squeezes.

“I will need to leave for a time,” they murmur. Val twists her head, trying to peer up at them, look at their face. They maneuver with her, lips curving upwards in a little smile. “I hope this does not bother you, beloved.”

“Of course not,” she murmurs, “just wish I could go with you.”

They pause at that, staring at her with their eyes, warm and brown and slightly red like those antique pennies that are no longer in circulation. She watches them lick the upper row of their teeth beneath their close lips and they squeeze her shoulders, turning their face into her hair.

“I do too, elskan.”

---

Val is… nothing if not assertive. It’s one of the things that makes her a good addition to any squad, one of the things that helped her survive after her parents were made victims of war. After their conversation, after seeing that look in Bloodhound’s eyes when they told her they wished she could come with them on their hunt, she took it upon herself to join them.

She treks through the forest leading to their cabin, grateful for the markings in the tree that indicate her way. The sun has just begun to set over the horizon, and the picnic basket she carries in her left hand has two wraps, and fruit that she cut back at her apartment and put into an airtight container to keep them fresh before she arrived at Bloodhound’s cabin.

It’s such a welcome sight as she finishes the trek, the little cottage nestled against the peaceful backdrop of the thick trees. In the orange hues of the setting sun, the shadows of the leaves make it look sweet, like something out of a painting, and Val’s lips quirk up at the sight of the well worn wood, the intricate carvings along the front door that become more noticeable as she approaches.

She steps over the wooden patio, reaching up to knock twice with two fingers. She sits back on one leg, looking to the side, hair flying over her shoulder as she enjoys the warmth of the sun rays, enjoys that for once, she might be the one surprising Bloodhound.

In no time at all, the sun disappears beneath the horizon and a chilly breeze whips through the trees. Val closes her eyes, breathing in the fresh air, how crisp it seems out here in Bloodhound’s little corner of the world. Speaking of, Bloodhound’s yet to answer the door. She opens her eyes once more, reaching up to knock once more.

Then, she hears growling.

Her knuckles freeze, mere inches away from the door, and she stares at the wood. Goosepimples rupture along the nape of her neck, her arms, and suddenly the breeze is not pleasant but frigid. She presses her lips together, swallowing thickly, slowly, carefully turning her head, trying not to make any sudden movements.

When she turns out to the world, she sees eyes glowing at her in the dark of the woods between two trees. Her throat bobs, the red glare practically casting light across the darkening forest floor and she suddenly very much hopes that Bloodhound opens the door. They grow closer and she takes an unconscious step back, gasping when her heel bumps into the door. The animal part of her brain trembles in the face of a predator and her fingers unconsciously tighten on the basket in her hands.

They breach the forest line, an anomaly in the middle of the quiet woods. The growl only grows louder as they get closer, as she sees just who it is that is looking at her like they might eat her alive. Bloodhound’s ears have grown long and sharp, pointed, furry at the edges, and their upper lip has peeled back to reveal a row of impossibly sharp canine teeth.

“Holy shit,” breathes Val, eyes round, wide. They stare at each other, suspended in time, Val scanning what she knows is supposed to be Bloodhound. Just… in a way she has never seen them. Their already broad shoulders are somehow even wider, covered with a thick layer of fur, claws sprouting from where their normally short fingers are. They are taller, larger than she ever anticipated being, and before she can ask, maybe try to reason with them, they are upon her.

Like that day in the locker room, their footsteps are sure, forceful, and Val drops her picnic basket. It falls to the side, food rolling out of it, and the beast grabs her trim sides, lifting her up and pinning her back against the door with their hips wedged between hers. They’re not normally so tall and she clings to them, half afraid to let go in fear she’ll hit the ground.

“Bloodhound,” she gasps, realizing with a start that the human parts of their visage are beginning to fade. More hair – fur? – grows across their chest, thighs thickening beneath their cargo pants that are beginning to tear at the seams. “What- What’s happen-”

“Before I fade,” they growl out and their voice is not their own, deep, rough, like they just rolled out of bed and smoked a cigarette or two before speaking. “I need you to tell me if you do not wish for me to touch you.”

Val trembles, staring into their face, and with a jolt she realizes they’re hard. Her cheeks flood with color and she curses something in the tongue of her mother, her hands finding Hound’s broad shoulders, burrowing them into the thick fur sprouting from their shoulders.

Now it makes sense. It wasn’t a holiday that took Hound away, or a ritual that demanded their presence in the forest. Instead, they were following the phases of the moon, its bright, full face staring down at her with a mocking smile.

“I want you to touch me,” she breathes, meeting their eyes, “please, Hound.”

They snarl and that question seemed to hold the last vestiges of their control, her answer the catalyst that decided whether or not they would flee or fight. They bury their nose in her throat and this time there are teeth – clamping into her shoulder, sinking just past the skin and making her yelp at the wave of pain that follows.

Their fingers – claws dig into her thighs and she gasps as they pull them apart. Their hips grind up against hers and she can feel their fat cock through the torn fabric of their pants, begging for entry, wanting to feel her. How often did they hold this back, this animalism? How often had she seen the beginnings of it in a form more human but could not see it for what it was?

Her thoughts evaporate, disappearing as quickly as the sun had behind the horizon as Bloodhound drops to the wooden deck, holding her down. She squirms, making a noise at the uncomfortable position her shoulder blades are in and their giant paw slips beneath the arch of her spine, sliding up to hold her between the shoulder blades and the scrape of their claws along her flesh through her shirt makes her shiver.

“Hound!” She gasps as they curl their claws into the back of her shirt’s neck and tears it right in two. The fabric falls away and her nipples pucker in the chill of the night, bright red, aching to be touched, but with the little noises leaving Hound and the steady hump of their cock between her open legs, she has a feeling they won’t be doing the touching.

Val takes it upon herself, hands shooting up, folding over her nipples. She pinches them between her thumbs and forefingers, rolling tightly and moaning, pussy clenching in interest. The snarl that Hound lets out makes her freeze, used to a warning following such a sound, or a punishment.

They do neither thing, instead sitting back on their haunches and when she cranes her neck to look, she gets a glimpse of their cock. Her eyes widen at how ruddy red it is, even more impressive than its normal size. She thinks she couldn’t fit both of her hands around it if she wanted to and she trembles at the thought of something so massive stretching her cunt.

“Hound, y-y-you’re big,” she breathes as Hound shreds her pants. She winces as their claws open thin, red lines along her pale legs, bloodied scratches that will heal later but might leave marks. She wonders how much of it was on purpose. “Bigger than normal. I think we need to- or we should… we need to get lube.”

Bloodhound pauses, cocking their head and she bites the edge of her lower lip, watching them from her place on the porch. She wonders how much of them is listening, how much of this beast before her is a different entity. Eyes the color of blood seem locked on her body and she wonders if she’ll be taking their cock dry. Instead, their huge hands find her hips and lift her hips right off the porch, up, until her hands are slamming onto the deck to try and balance herself.

She can’t even get their name out, any question dying on her lips the second their tongue – broader? Is it broader than normal? Fuck – slides from between their teeth to drool onto her exposed cunt. Her chin tucks against her chest, mouth dropping, and god her back is going to be killing her tomorrow but she doesn’t care. Not when their broad tongue is fucking into her hole, spit falling off of their sharp teeth to coat her swollen labia.

“Hound, Hound, Bloodhound!” She cries, entirely immobilized by their iron tight grip on her hips. Her legs flail, kicking out onto for her heels to land on their back, pressing as tightly against the blades of their shoulders as she can manage. Her thighs shake around their head, their thick tongue pushing up against her clit and not stopping, the tip flickering over it at a speed that makes her head spin, her gut tighten. With a gasp and a cry, her hips buck hard into their mouth, grinding against their lips as she cums hard.

She pants, chest heaving, trying to regain her breath. Before she can, Hound lowers her hips to their belly before flipping her onto her stomach. She lands on the deck with a grunt, hands flat underneath her, breasts pressed up against the porch. Her cunt is hot and cold all at once, still coming down from the aftershocks of such a quickly given, intense orgasm, but assaulted by the light air.

Bloodhound pulls her up by her hips, opening her wet, glistening cunt and she shudders. That huge, leaking red cock prods at the entrance of her cunt. Val’s fingers clench into fists and her breathing picks up even more, mouth open like a fish to gulp in air. Midway through another choked off noise, Bloodhound’s cock breaches her tight, wet cunt, and she groans midway through, eyes rolling back.

Their cock is huge, bigger than it’s ever been, and fuck, she almost swears it’s gotten bigger too. Her eyes squeeze shut, fighting off the burn that could be painful or pleasant. Her pussy has never been stretched so wide, has never had to accommodate such girth, and it makes her feel so dirty and hot that she swears her pussy clenches.

The groan that Bloodhound lets up is indication it very well might have. Their claws are digging into the pillowy flesh of her ass and there’s no preamble once they’re seated inside of her, hips flush against her ass. Instead, they start fucking her in earnest, and Val whines at the drag of her nipples against the deck.

“Oh fuck, fuck!” She yelps, pushing herself up on her hands, letting her tits swing instead of being dragged across the deck. It’s hard to keep herself upright, elbows weak, but she tries her damnedest, letting them fuck into her abused cunt until she can hear the sloppy, wet noises it makes every time they disappear back inside of her.

“Do you want to know why I wanted you to come with me on this journey, Valarie?” The monster asks in Bloodhound’s accent and her tongue lolls stupidly out of her mouth as they piston their hips downwards. Every thrust hits the spot inside of her that makes her thighs clench, makes her want to beg. She hadn’t even thought Hound could talk following their comment about fading but she’s proved wrong when their claws hand smooths up the length of their back, watching the muscle bunch and tremble under their touch.

“I wanted you to come here,” they say, pausing as her juicy pussy quivers, around them, around the harsh way they fuck her. “I wanted you to come here because I wanted to breed you, elskan. Wanted to knot you, fuck you full of pups.”

Val whines out and Bloodhound’s paw on her back sneaks around to her belly, pressing against the bulge of their fat dick inside of her, poking against the inside of her thin tummy. They press down and they both groan, Val useless as they drag her up, against their too large chest.

“Is that what you want, mate?” They snarl into her ear and she realizes with a little moan that they’ve started fucking her along their dick, using her as a glorified toy. She throws her head back, arching up when the hand on her tummy drifts, circling the hard nub of her clit. “Do you want me to fill you up with my cum?”

“Gods, yes!” Val cries out and they press down on her clit, hard. Her jaw drops, whole body seizing as she cums a second time. Normally, the second is always softer, gentler, a nice feeling watching over her. This one is almost painful, clit tightening and cunt tensing hard around their massive cock. Bloodhound snarls, continues to fuck her along it then with a final drop, she feels something stretch past the drenched lips of her cunt with a satisfying pop.

Val screams, cunt twitching, accommodating. Bloodhound’s snarl is all the confirmation she needs – knot, that’s their knot, they knotted me – along with the warm spread of their cum inside of her. Her nostrils flare and her body slumps back into their chest, amazed that somehow their cock is still going. Still twitching, and cumming, and filling her cunt.

“So,” she breathlessly whispers, “you’re a werewolf?”

“Yes,” they murmur, nuzzling their nose against her hair, one hand finding her throat. Val realizes they’re trying to clean her throat. “I come here to be one with nature, allow the beast its fill of slatra beneath the gaze of the moon.”

“You tap into the animal instinct?” She asks, smirking, lips still parted to heave in air. Bloodhound snorts, reaching around, placing a hand over her lower belly and filling the soft bulge of their cum. Val squirms and they purr, the noise reverberating through their whole body as their nose finds the spot they’d bitten.

“I suppose that is a way to address this, yes… I hope I did not frighten you.”

“Oh, Hound,” Val says with a little laugh, placing her hand over their bigger once, hands closing around the spaces between their fingers. “If that was you scaring me, I want you to scare me again. And again.”

#bloodhound x oc #bloodhound/oc #apex legends bloodhound #apex bloodhound #apex legends #apex lemons #apex legends imagines #nsft #lemon #shorty writes #tw blood mention #ask to tag #shorty commissions

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yukiwrites · 5 years

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Spark of Life in a Cursed Body

OKAY SO IT’S NOT A SECRET THAT I’VE BEEN THIRSTING OVER LÍF FROM THE START YEAH? Yeah okay. So.

I’ve just been.. WAITING for more info on him to write uh to write sin of him... and NOW WE HAVE IT NOW THERE WE GO!!! LÍF/ALFONSE X KIRAN SIN!! Hope ya’ll enjoy it as much as I did writing it aksjdlnakmsd I LOVE EDGY ALFONSE WITH MY LIFE

_______________________________

Part 1 - Part 2

Kiran opened her eyes after she had seemingly just closed them, her entire body aching as the tips of her fingers lost their sensation. She was cold. So, so very cold.

The freezing stone she lied on and at never got warmer, no matter how many hours she chose to lay against it -- the damp, large cell that imprisoned her didn't magically become welcoming to her after the third day she had been chained inside it, either.

The large handcuffs itched on her wrists and ankles, preventing her from moving at all; she could barely stretch her legs and arms without feeling a twinge of pain from the short chains securely holding her to the wall.

She had been captured by the army of the dead three days previous in an act of carelessness. The one who abducted her, Líf, was not only her captor, but her warden as well. He had been the only living soul -- well, maybe not that alive -- she had seen ever since turning prisoner.

Apart from his muffled steps and silent ruffling of his cape dragging itself behind him three times per day, Kiran heard nothing. She had no idea where she was or how far into the Realm of the Dead she were -- or if she was in Hel at all. She could be anywhere.

What she did know what that she was at least three levels underground in some sort of abandoned dungeon. The walls weren't well maintained and there were leakages here and there; also the ventilation was either clogged or broken apart: it was far too cold even for an underground cave. She had been stripped of her Order of Heroes coat under the guise of preventing her from reaching for a hidden weapon, though the most important weapon she had in her possession managed to not be taken: Breidablik was a magical item that could be summoned through her will and a sleight of hand.

Problem was that her hands were bound so tightly together she couldn't hold her firearm-like weapon properly.

Also, the tips of her fingers were almost losing all sensation -- she was barely able to hold the spoon to feed herself whenever her captor came around to deliver her meals, let alone hold the distinguished mechanism that allowed her weapon to shoot magic and summon Heroes.

Sighing, the Summoner looked up to her feeling breath, feeling its warmth fade away from her body and her cell alike. No matter how many times she asked why she was brought there or why was she simply left alone for the most part of the day without ever seeing either the light of the day or the fading light of Hel herself, Líf simply remained silent.

He would bring her meals in silence, place the tray in front of her in silence, turn around and stay outside in silence until enough time had passed for her to finish eating so he could collect the tray and disappear into the nether for another six hours.

Then he would come back and repeat that strange ritual, while the silence would echo back Kiran's words to herself.

She was tired. It's 'only' been three days, but she had barely slept due to the cold and hard stone, not to mention the lack of feeling from all of her limbs -- were she to stay in that position for another day, she was sure she would need to amputate both legs and arms for lack of proper circulation.

As though on cue, the ruffling sound of Líf's cape and his muffled steps filled the silence with echo, the small sounds augmenting to the point of hurting Kiran's ears.

She was tired.

He pushed the door open -- Kiran noticed the previous day that it was unlocked, thus the reason why she was chained to the wall instead -- and entered in silence, his eyes quickly looking around the cell to check if there was anything out of place.

How could it be, Kiran thought, uncharacteristically ironic, I can't even stretch my legs from here, let alone wreak havoc inside an unlocked cell. Her tired eyes looked at his, their dark circles mirroring each other. She opened her mouth to speak, but barely a huff left her lips, exhaustion filling her lungs.

As per usual, Líf placed the tray by her folded knees, not waiting for her to reach for it before turning around to leave.

"Why..." she managed to say, her voice hoarse. He stopped in his tracks. "Why are you keeping me here, Alfonse? Don't just stay... silent, please." She huffed, her eyes burning with tears.

"..." Líf looked over his shoulder to his captive, their equally tired eyes meeting. She thought she saw a flash of compassion gleaming on his crimson gaze, but dismissed it as an illusion her mind prepared to make herself feel better. "The living should eat." He sounded muffled by his mask at the same time it shone in a brighter tone of blue while his voice spoke. "So do so." He said curtly, exiting the cell and closing the door behind him.

"Hahh..." Kiran breathed out a long sigh, her body deflating above itself, her muscles screaming in pain. As always, she could see his blue hair from the small, barred, window at the door, as well as the shadow of his feet in front of the gap under the door.

There had to be a reason for her to be so isolated from everything else. To start with, why did the General of the Dead capture her and put her so far from wherever they should actually be? Wasn't he a cursed version of Alfonse bound to obedience by Hel because he was dead? Why wasn't Kiran presented to Death herself immediately? Was he trying to slowly kill her and chip away her will to fight back before delivering her to a gruesome fate under the same curse as he?

... Why did he visit her at all if that were the case? He brought her meals three times a day -- though they were tasteless as they could be, they fulfilled their role of feeding her and (poorly) conserving her strength, as far as meals go, anyway. 'The living need to eat', he had said, as though he planned to keep on letting her stay that way, alive.

Calling him by his true name did nothing to steal answers from him, either. It made it hard for Kiran to compare the pure, hardworking and thoughtful Alfonse she knew to that silence machine. Even if he did look like a grown up and hardier Alfonse. If only he took that mask so she could see the true face of the cursed man under it...

Kiran only noticed she had finished eating when the door opened once again for Líf to collect the tray. She instinctively grabbed his hand, the cold metal of his armor doing nothing to her already numb fingers.

His eyebrows flickered with her touch, his eyes immediately meeting hers. She breathed in before speaking, though she had no idea where those words came from. "Did the Kiran of your world join the army of the dead as well?"

His eyes widened with the most emotion Kiran had ever seen from him -- they flickered from the usual crimson to Alfonse's true color, the deep blue the Summoner was used to. He frowned deeply, his eyes flickering with both colors, as though an inner fight had sparked inside his mind and heart.

Kiran could hear him breathing. Or perhaps huffing? That had been the first time she heard him do so -- she could almost pinpoint his heart beating, as though it was surfacing from a long, cold sleep. His chest went up and down, as though Kiran's words had triggered memories sealed deep within to surface in flashes, his vision blurring -- the only constant was the Summoner's warm touch over his ever-cold arm.

Memories -- they rushed into Líf's consciousness.

Her voice, her warm touch.

Her clumsiness, her eagerness to run around the large fields while pulling his hand, never letting go even after tripping -- taking him with her.

Rolling down the hills while dissolving in laughter, protecting her from most of the impact and still allowing mirth to shake his body despite the numbing pain of taking the brunt of the falls.

And oh, how many times did they fall.

But as long as they were together, as long as their hands were intertwined, he didn't mind taking the brunt for her.

He always did and he always would.

Yet... why was she the first one to jump in front of Hel's scythe directed at him? Why did she disappear into light right in front of his eyes, never to be seen again?

Why did they never meet after death? Did she return to her world? Did death claim her there?

Where was she?

"K-Kiran, oh, Kiran..." his voice shook, his mind stuck in the awakening dream.

Surprised with the deep-reaching sweetness that came attached to her own name, Kiran felt her eyes bubbling with tears, as though his voice alone could touch her heart. "Alfonse?" She whispered, almost lovingly so, reaching out for his mask so as to take it off.

Once she did, she could see that the intersection between skin and curse was black, like a charred scar that still pulsated. Under his nose and covering half of his lips, she could see the scar as the lower half of his jaw was covered in that blue curse, the bones visible through the transparent skin.

Hesitating before touching it, Kiran felt that the cursed half of his face was cold and warm at the same time, as though she touched something with the sensation of being febrile. Yet, the upper half, untouched by the curse and filled with his pale skin, felt warm to the touch, as though he were alive like herself.

Líf felt his entire body pulsate, the color of the curse throughout his body changing from blue to red, then to his natural skin color.

"Alfonse..." Kiran whispered his name again, the careful and tender emotion with which he looked past her -- as though seeing someone else in her, other than herself -- made her sag her shoulders and cup his face into her hands.

She heard a strong, loud heartbeat. Then another, and yet another. The faster it beat, the fainter the curse took hold of Líf, revealing his true skin under the bright blue.

An approaching dread made Líf shiver as he immediately blinked, seeing the true Kiran in front of him.

No. She wasn't his Kiran. Not the one who died in place of him to give their world a chance.

She was the one he had to protect; to prevent Hel from ever finding her lest she was butchered right in front of his eyes a second time.

She wasn't his, but oh, by all the gods, did he long for the day she would be. A day that would never come, granted -- not in his after-life. Not after he had missed the chance to be happy with her while he was alive.

"No!" He hissed, quickly jumping away from her. Hel could feel life.

Whenever there was life, death loomed closer.

Only Kiran's life force was different, for Hel had no hold in the world she came from. If Kiran was properly hidden amidst the dead, Hel would never find her.

But if Líf's heart started beating once more...

"That would be a lighthouse in the darkness for Hel to follow," his words outpaced his mind, speaking without meaning to.

Confused, almost bewildered by Líf's explosion of emotion, Kiran reached out for him once more. "Alfonse? What happened? You were-"

"Don't-" his voice struggled to keep emotionless as before, his chest still going up and down fervently, trying to suppress the rush of feelings. He covered half of his face with one hand, pulling his cloak closer with the other. "Do not call that name again. Not with her voice." He huffed, quickly leaving as though he needed to run away from her -- from her touch, from her memory.

From what she could awaken in him.

Inside the cell, Kiran could feel her heart beating in her ears, thumping so loudly it deafened her thoughts. He had left in such a hurry he forgot not only the tray but also to close the door entirely. He was running away from her.

Running away from what she could awaken in him. She could feel it in her innermost core: Líf -- no, the Alfonse he was before the curse -- loved her. Loved the memory of the Kiran he had lost during the battle against Hel; found her so precious he kidnapped this Kiran who looked like her but did not share her memories nor her feelings to protect her from Hel. A rather clumsy attempt at protecting, yes, but it was as though their quick but meaningful exchange had enlightened her.

He had been dead for so, so long.

He only had the fading memories of life to hold on to, and even those were diving into the abyss of darkness that his death was becoming.

To him, living meant only eating -- mayhap he forgot about everything else in the hundreds of years of servitude to Death.

Kiran's heart beat wildly, inadvertently smiling, but covering her lips right after. "Clumsy, but cute. As though the Alfonse in there never went away at all."

In his desperation, Líf had taken much too long to calm himself down; to bring back the coldness of death into his body. Making his own heart stop beating willingly was a strenuous task he never thought he would need to undertake. After all, the curse had been the one to do that the first time.

Before he realized, it was dawn -- he hadn't taken Kiran's third meal of the previous day, which startled him to the point of hearing the faint beating at the back of his mind again.

There was no way Hel did not notice the flicker of life coursing through his body in the previous night -- even if he hadn't actually met Death herself that day, he knew she had complete domain over all the withered lands around them. The parallel Order of Heroes turtled through their territory in search of their Summoner, but it would take them at least another week before they reached the dungeon into which Líf had brought Kiran to.

Was that enough time? Was that too little time? How long would it take for Death to act and claim his life as she did with Eir, for so very long? How long would it take until Death reclaimed its ownership of Kiran's life right in front of his eyes, once again by his own carelessness?

It had been a mistake -- to allow himself to remember so much. To feel alive again, even if it were only for a brief moment. To hear his own heart beating for that small, shivering and utterly charming woman.

To want to hold her hand, caress her body and claim her for his own as he had done so very long ago.

A mistake. One that could not be repeated again -- ideally ever, but more realistically at least until the Order of Heroes reached the dungeon.

He reached the dungeon after taking his usual precautions so as not to be noticed and entered swiftly, going down the steps in an uncharacteristic hurry. The moment he saw the wide open door, he felt a twinge where his heart used to be. Had she left?! Was he to never look upon her again?

Once he reached the door, however, the answer both relieved and terrified him -- Kiran lay on the floor, breathing heavily with her arms wrapped around herself. He didn't hear his voice calling her name, his body once again gleaming with life and dread at the same time. "Answer me! Has Hel claimed your-" he stuttered, his eyes trying to find the reason for her body to be so hot and her breathing to be so shallow at the same time.

"Alfonse..." She huffed, reaching out for his face. He had forgotten his mask in her hands the previous day, his expressions bare for her to see, as little as she could with her blurred vision. "I think I'm... catching a cold, hah." She coughed weakly, pulling him with everything she had so she could snuggle with his cold skin. A mistake, clearly, but her mind was fogged and she longed for the warmth she had felt in him the last time they met.

"Cold? A cold?" His eyes unfocused, he took a few moments to remember that the living indeed could get sick if they were exposed to low temperatures for long periods of time.

How utterly careless and clumsy! Líf had been dead for so long he didn't feel any more sensations in his skin -- neither cold, nor hot. He never stopped to think that Kiran could freeze to death in that damp, freezing cell.

He looked around, helpless as though he were a toddler trying to find something right in front of him, for something that could cure Kiran. He caught a glimpse of his own cloak and immediately covered her with it, at least giving her the well-deserved warmth he had robbed her for almost a week.

"Ahh, so warm..." Kiran smiled, leaning her cheek on his febrile chest. At the verge of panicking, Líf was unsure of what to do: it would do no good to kidnap her for her safety and have her die of a common disease! What did the living do in these situations, again? Why did he remember so much about his relationship with her, but nothing about the common sense of a living man?

Kiran snuggled into his chest, tightly wrapping herself in his thick cloak. "Thank you for what you've been doing for me, Alfonse." She said in a feverish daydream. "You've been protecting me, haven't you? From the dead... Even though I'm not... her." She huffed, her eyes closed, but her ears catching the slightest glimpse of his resurfacing heartbeat.

Unable to form proper words, Líf simply adjusted Kiran in his arms, allowing her to lean on him entirely instead of the cold stone behind her. Tea? Warm stew? Were these enough to cure a cold? He had no idea.

"You... you can think of me as her." Kiran said after a few moments of silence, the fever making her mind fog. "I'll comfort you, Alfonse. I'll embrace your... feelings." She huffed, placing one hand over his bare, cursed chest, making him flinch with her touch.

The place her fingers touched turned red, then returned to his skin color, as though the mere presence of her was enough to lift it entirely.

Once again he felt his heart beating and thundering by his ears, his eyes unused to the high his mind was going through.

"You are... sick." He managed to scramble the words, hesitating on whether he should take her hand away from him or to embrace her entirely.

Kiran chuckled, breathing the cool air under the long-awaited warmth of his cloak. "Psh, I'm fine. If I just sleep a bit, I'll wake up alright."

Líf may have let out a strangled 'oh' in response, but he didn't remember -- he was focusing all of his forces into making his heart stop beating again. Into making himself stop feeling.

Into stopping his hand from embracing her and bringing her closer to his chest.

Kiran woke up many hours later, at the late afternoon, feeling refreshed and without many body aches. Once she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, she saw that she was surrounded by thick blankets and a large pillow -- all of them looking and smelling very old, but at least doing their job of making her comfortable rather well.

What had happened? She remembered hearing Líf's-- no, Alfonse's voice calling her, then strong arms holding her... She remembered talking of comfort and embracing, but little else.

Still, whom but Líf could have brought all of these for her? She still hung into his cloak, as well. The door was also closed, and the food atop the tray, restocked.

Kiran took one hand to her heart, to reassert herself of what was going on, and why was she feeling the way she did. She had discovered Líf's feelings for her, or at least for another version of her -- the version who died and left him behind, helpless and cursed. She found out about the Alfonse-like clumsiness he still had in him, as well as the way his mind, long poisoned by death, worked slowly regarding the matters of the living. It all made the first days of her captivity to feel like a wronged nightmare -- a clumsy mistake.

She was still chained, yes, but even the chains had changed, from a heavy iron to a light wood; they barely weighed on her arms and weren't nearly as cold.

There was also the matter of Líf's touch. His skin felt cold and warm at the same time, but whenever she could hear a heartbeat in the distance, the warmth outweighed the coldness. As though he felt so much for such a short period of time that it momentarily brought him back to life.

The tips of Kiran's fingers tingled, wanting to feel his skin under them again. Her heart wavered, wanting to be tenderly embraced another time -- and properly remember it. Her lungs huffed, her face embarrassed as she remembered the words she had uttered previously. "I'll comfort you? I'll embrace your feelings? What?!" She hissed shyly, shoving food into her mouth, her cheeks bright red.

Not two seconds later, Líf opened the door. The missing shuffling of his cloak making Kiran unable to detect his soft steps, which in turn made her choke with food in surprise.

Líf reached out to her, but hesitated as she almost coughed a lung to un-choke herself, unsure of what to do. Instead, he simply stood there, hand midway into action.

"Um, thank you for all of this," Kiran cleared her throat, signaling with her chin to the blankets and pillow around her. "I almost caught a cold there, but you saved me."

It had been his fault to begin with, Líf narrowed his eyes with guilt, but said nothing. He simply stared as she ate, unmoving from the door.

Still embarrassed from her sudden realization, Kiran munched in silence, quickly swallowing before speaking again. "Um... Can I ask something?"

"..." Líf remained silent, though he crossed his arms as though giving her leave to speak. Well, even if it weren't, she would have spoken anyway.

"Can I, um, can I take a walk? We don't need to go far or outside at all, but I need to stretch my legs... I'm afraid I won't remember how to walk if I stay here for too long."

Líf felt his chest fall, as though his slumbering heart felt guilt. He opened and closed his mouth many times, glad that he was wearing his mask once again.

"I promise I won't run away." She added, her pleading eyes making Líf's legs feel funny. "I wouldn't be able to, anyway," she mumbled under her breath, messing with a lock of hair as she usually did whenever she felt awkward.

Líf had to take one hand to his chest, as though he could clutch his heart which felt so much pain and devotion at the same time.

He hadn't felt anything in so long the sudden resurgence of feelings felt like a bucket of cold water slapped him in the face. He remembered.

Every single detail of his life beside her, he remembered.

How she would mess with that specific lock of hair whenever she was embarrassed to ask him for something so menial. To spend more time with him, to hug him for a while longer. To follow her into a place she thought secret but was actually a garden he had spent his childhood in.

He had never told her about that, actually; always relishing on her proud smile to show him this or that detail of the secluded and forgotten place. She had always been so pure, so eager, so...

So lovely.

His eyes almost hurt with emotion, his entire body struggling to keep his heart at bay.

Just another moment.

Just another moment beside her.

She meekly looked up to him, still holding that damned and adorable lock of hair, "Alfonse?" she asked in her sweet voice, making Líf shake in his innermost core.

He couldn't let these feelings overflow; he couldn't let them take control.

But, by the gods, he had to, he needed to spend another moment, another second in her presence.

"Only... until the end of the corridor." He managed to say, his voice strangled. "I know you wouldn't run away," he said softly, his voice so low Kiran barely understood the words.

To hear his name in her voice again; to be the target of her meek and embarrassed gaze; to witness how the smile would slowly be born in her face and be the sole spectator of its wonderful display.

"Thank you so much! But, um, there's something else..." She hesitated, never letting go of her hair as he crouched to open the chains. She held both hands over his arm, making all of the alarms inside his head and dormant heart ring. "I... Can I hold your arm while I walk? It's been almost a week and I don't think I can walk properly just yet."

His heart twinged, his eyes almost burning with emotion.

He wanted to touch her, to embrace her.

He wanted to welcome the feelings that were forcefully ripping his chest apart.

Oh, what he wouldn't give to be the Alfonse who had summoned her! To be the one who would live his days by her side!

"..." He nodded so faintly Kiran almost missed it, but the sound of her giggle only made him want to lay there a while longer, under the warmth of her hands.

"Thank you, Alfonse. I knew I could always count on you," she whispered giddily, struggling to pull herself on her feet after she was freed from the chains. "Oh, I mustn't forget this," she quickly wrapped herself around his cloak before going back to squeezing his arm for support, making him want to clutch his chest once more.

She was so small. So, very small. The cape that barely ruffled on the floor in his back dragged itself for many inches behind her small feet as they walked out of the cell.

Her limbs felt weak, but it felt oh so good to be able to walk again! She smiled all the way through their outing as short as it was, considering they just went around the block and back at her cell. Líf held the door as Kiran went inside, not wanting to break contact with him, but securely holding his cloak around herself. She wouldn't let him take it back from her, at least not yet.

She gave but one step inside and stopped in her tracks, her heart beating wildly in her chest. "Um, Alfonse. I- um, I meant what I said earlier." She pulled his cape over her head to hide herself and quickly hid under the other blankets in embarrassment.

Líf slowly lowered his head, feeling heat cover his cheeks for the first time in hundreds of years. He closed the door between them, the silent agreement of keeping her inside without chains nor locks making the both of them look forward to the next time they would meet.

The General of the dead walked at small paces to the exit, silently going up the stairs as his heart seemingly calmed down by itself, somehow confident in spending more time with Kiran inside that little space he selfishly started calling their own.

Yet, as soon as he stepped outside, the cold wind of reality slapped him awake, scaring away any flushed faces and uneven heartbeats: the Order of Heroes had picked up their pace and would reach the dungeon in the morning.

Líf's scouts had informed him that the Order was being led by the elite of its Hero Generals; accomplished individuals in their own world who combined their mettle to save their Summoner.

His chest fell once again.

They would arrive and save her, as he had planned -- he managed to hide her from Hel's attempt of ambushing their Order the previous week, and managed to keep her hidden for his own convenience. After the panic he felt the previous night, it should have been a blessing that the Order would catch up to her so quickly -- Hel wouldn't be able to pinpoint Kiran's location through Líf's awakening heart and she would be able to come back safely to her rightful place: beside the Alfonse she knew.

It should have been a blessing.

She would be happy. She would live.

Líf felt his eyes burn with unshed tears, his breathing uneven. His heart was feeling, his body was aching. The lingering warmth her hands left on his arm was long gone, but he wanted to believe it was still there.

He wanted to feel it until the rest of his days. He wanted to hear her voice, to watch her fumbling with her hair, to see her clumsily lead him to places he already knew of.

'I'll comfort you. Think of me as her. I'll accept your feelings.' Her words echoed in his mind.

It was wrong.

It was so very wrong. The deepest part of him that was still that good natured Alfonse screamed inside, wanting him not to entertain that idea: not to take advantage of someone who looked so much like the one he loved.

Looked so much like her it could actually have been her from another time -- from a moment's earlier in time before she was summoned to this world.

What if they were the same? What if she disappeared in his world only to reappear in this one?

"Wishful thinking," he snarked in spite of himself, frozen between the hill that he could see the Order from afar and the dungeon he could see in the distance on the opposite side.

Wishful thinking, and yet... His recently-awakened heart was still so weak. He couldn't- he hadn't the strength to talk back to it, at least not that soon.

He wanted her, he needed her.

If only for one night... If only for one single night they could be together; if only they could go back to being the Crown Prince of Askr and his beloved Summoner... if only for a moment, to hear her sweet voice calling his name by his ear again...

"No," he fought with himself until the end, despite his legs taking him back to the dungeon and down the stairs. "Only... only if she allows it." He found the perfect excuse to chain himself to. Only if she gives the first step.

He lingered in front of her door for a very long time, his hand hesitating by the handle. Inside, Kiran woke up from her restless sleep, seeing the blue glow that covered Líf's body from the window at the door. "Alfonse? Did something happen? It's... not dawn yet, is it?"

Ahh, her voice.

He opened the door soundlessly, stepping inside with difficulty. "No..." he whispered, crouching in front of her.

"What... happened?" She sat in confusion, watching how his expression turned from regret to contained emotion. She reached out to his mask, hesitating before actually touching it. "Alfonse?"

He felt the mask slip away under her fingers, the silent 'clop' of it being placed carefully on the stone floor being forgotten by his ears.

Once again Kiran looked at his hardened face and painful expression. She placed part of his long bangs behind his ears, touching her forehead on his. "Are you alright?" She asked, feeling his uncertain fingers intertwine in hers, his eyes closing as though he had finally found home again.

He wanted to, he needed to-- but he shouldn't.

"Your rescue is on the way. They'll be here by dawn." He reported, almost mechanically so, refusing to open his eyes and face her; wanting to dive into her warmth one last time before sending her back to where she belonged.

Kiran could see how much he struggled, how much he suffered to be chained under this curse. He longed for the woman he loved -- never to touch her again for death had seen them apart. Yet there she was, right in front of him, pulsating with energy.

With life.

"Won't you hold me?" She gulped as she wrapped both arms around his neck, holding his face into her chest. "I- I'll find a way to save you, Alfonse." She whispered as he widened his eyes, the warmth of her heartbeat filling his ears. "I want you to be with me, to stay by my side."

"Enough," he pulled her closer to him, one hand by her waist. "Don't waste your breath with empty promises. Don't fill my dead heart with useless hope." He huffed, nudging his nose on hers, their cheeks a mix of cold and hot as their breaths intertwined.

"It's not useless," she grabbed his hair with both hands, digging her nails into his scalp as she opened her mouth to welcome him. "But now's not the time for words."

She felt his cold tongue slip into hers, sending a mix of sensations down her throat and into her heart -- she could feel his cold hands lift her measle string shirt and reveal her breasts, shivering under his icy touch.

His kiss was long and hungry, the taste of hers the first thing he had had ever since losing his life, so long ago. Kiran moaned his name as he slowly placed her down the myriad of blankets, never wanting to part with her lips.

His hands travelled from her nipples to her waist, pulling up the miniskirt she wore to reveal her underwear. His feverish touch making her roll her eyes in pleasure, the mix of hot and cold making her shiver and pulsate inside.

For the first time in his after-life, Líf had to breathe heavily, pulling away from the kiss so as to fill his lungs with air once again. "Kiran..." he whispered her name lovingly, placing kiss after kiss on her lips, then on her jaw, following to her ear.

"Hnn- A-Alfonse," she bemoaned, huffing for air as her eyes lost their focus.

The curse changed colors once again -- from blue to red, then to his natural skin color. He tried not to feel, not to succumb, but rubbing his bare skin on hers, to feel her increasingly hot body shiver under his touch drove him into accepting the life he had been denying inside of him.

He had taken off his gauntlets without her noticing, his bare fingers, mixed with curse and real flesh, touching her over her underwear.

"Ah!" She squirmed with pleasure, making Líf bite her neck so as to come into terms that he felt an erection rising.

Blood was coursing through his veins once again -- he felt his body alive, even though the blue curse still shone through his bones. He felt it pulsate urgently, craving to be engulfed in Kiran's warmth, in her hottest insides.

His cold fingers slipped into her panties, reacquainting themselves with her layout -- they moved as though he had never forgotten her body in the first place; touching and nipping at the places he remembered she enjoyed the most.

Kiran shivered under his touch, her body hot enough for both of them as he inserted one cold finger into her: it was a magical sensation to say the least. It was cold, but he moved with swiftness and tenderness, making her twitch around him and suck him in with everything she had.

"A-Alfonse," she said so meekly she almost begged, pulling him towards her for another feverish kiss. This time he felt like he didn't need to hold anything back: he dove into her taste and sucked into her tongue, wanting to claim it all for himself.

For all eternity, even if it only lasted one night.

His fingers kept going in and out of her, pleasuring her until she couldn't make coherent words anymore; she simply drunkenly called his name and nipped at his lips, wanting more.

Her body wouldn't be satisfied with only fingers.

"P-please," she begged for the third time, her lower body shivering with pleasure, almost at the breaking point. "Alfonseee," she cried out as he massaged her clitoris, relishing on her weak voice by his ear.

"Kiran," he called her name over and over, licking the nape of her neck and leaving mark upon mark on her. "Hah, hah... my Kiran." He huffed as he released his erection from his tight pants, feeling it bump on the thin, drenched fabric of her underwear.

Kiran gulped with anticipation, opened her legs further to welcome him inside of her. She panted, pulling his lips towards hers so they could share another long, deep kiss as he pulled her underwear to the side, prodding his erection in place.

"Alfons-aaahnn...!" She cried out loudly, his might much more than what she expected, her eyes rolling in pleasure.

"I lov-" he whispered under her moans, falling into her deaf ears as he finally declared the feelings he had locked away for so long. "Mine. My Kiran." He groaned in pleasure, his entire body regaining its living warmth once again.

Kiran felt his cold erection rip inside her, pleasing her in ways she never thought possible. The more he thrusted, the warmer it became, to the point of making her feel like she was on fire -- the fire of his feelings for her, the fire of her awakened feelings for him.

He thrusted deep and fast, pounding at her sensitive spot as though he had done it a thousand times before. Helpless to his might, Kiran simply dug her nails into his scalp again, taking everything she had to cling herself into reality, her body almost transcending due to pleasure.

She felt her heart being poured with his tenderness and love; her body being showered by his might and strength. Her insides shook and twitched with pleasure as he went in and out, in and out.

The rhythm of their love-making made Kiran let out the most memorable moans Líf had ever heard her utter, his mind dutifully committing everything to memory for the future.

He never thought his body, devoid of feeling for so many decades, could reach a climax once again, but he wouldn't mistake that feeling for anything: his body shivered, his senses snapped, his mind wanted to mindlessly thrust until Kiran screamed his name and only his.

She felt her own approaching as he accelerated his movements, her body never wanting it to stop, but needing to share that moment with him -- together, they felt their bodies shiver and twitch in pleasure at the same time, his fluids being released freely inside of her.

Panting, as her lower parts pulsated with pleasure, Kiran's arms fell limp on the side, the rough love-making taking all the energy she had managed to build up that previous day.

"Alfonse..." she moaned weakly as consciousness evaded her, her body still wanting to be ravished more and more. "I'll bring you to our side... I swear I will."

Smiling for what it felt like the first time, Líf picked the adored tuft of hair Kiran always messed with and kissed it, never wanting to pull out from inside of her. "I will not believe such wishful promises, but I'll hold onto this night for the rest of my days... my Kiran."

#líf #feh #líf x summoner #kiran #kiralfonse #fire emblem heroes #summoner #i'm crying i cant believe i wrote it #my writings #i'm THIRSTY FOR ONE GLOWY MAN #the target audience is me #a sin a day keeps the thirst at bay #whoops forgot the sin tag

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silvensei · 4 years

Text

In This Mad Machinery

A human and an android swap bodies, resulting in identity crises, existentialism, philosophy with the boys, and fun!

Detroit: Become Human | gen | 20k | rated T | introspective comedy/sci-fi

Chapter 4 (2k words) | [AO3 link] | [first] | < prev | next >

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“And you’re sure Markus will be okay with…y’know, all this? Like it won’t freak him out if I just walk up to him as not you?”

“He is a leader for a reason: he’s reasonable.”

“Mm. Good reason.”

“Just explain it to him from the beginning. Offer to share the day’s memories if that’ll be easier—oh!” Connor shifted in the driver’s seat to fully face his partner and held up a hand. “Not a memory transfer! That’s a different process altogether. That’s what we did to switch. Markus technically is part of the same prototype series as me, so it might prompt for a complete memory transfer—don’t do that one!”

“I got it, Mom: Don’t accidentally kill myself.” Hank shut the door, leaning his forearms on the open window. “As for you, just lay low. You can tell Jeffrey that you’re you if you want, he’s probably heard worse from me before, but maybe don’t let it get out into the whole precinct. Not only would CyberLife get snippy about their secret plans leaking too much, but can you imagine the hell Gavin would raise? Christ.”

Connor paused. “I’m not sure if I can, but I’m sure he would be troublesome.”

Hank laughed. He had heard Connor laugh before, on very rare occasions, but he didn’t think it ever sounded this relaxed and easy. It really gave his rough voice an amicable quality. “Swing back here when you’re done? Or call if it’s more than an hour?”

“Can do, Lieutenant.”

He stepped away from the car as Connor shifted out of park. “Careful with the wheels,” he called before starting down the driveway toward the Manfred house.

In the corner of his vision, the external temperature reading increased to 67.7°F (19.8°C). Focusing on the readout expanded the widget: RH 58.1%, Precip. 12%, Wind 3 mph NW, Sunset 8:52 PM, Moon Phase—

He looked away. It was still there—being a heads-up display and all—but the gesture dismissed the weather. Who could possibly need that much information. No one. It’s been bombarding him from all sides with random facts and figures and updates ever since he woke up like this a couple hours ago (2 hr 32 m 57 s). No wonder Connor was such a know-it-all: his programming forced him to be. Hank slowed his stroll. What was Connor going through right now, free of his encyclopedia of trivia for the first time in his life? Hopefully not lost and unsure and uninformed. God, he hoped not.

He shook his head, quite literally to get his damn android brain to stop calculating the chances that his best friend was having an identity crisis or existential crisis or any number of other crises. Instead he thought about how his shoulders didn’t ache when he did that. His knees didn’t have that familiar creaking he’d grown so accustomed to, either. In fact, besides the pressure on the soles of his feet to keep him grounded and the near-imperceptible brush of fabric and sunlight against his skin, he didn’t feel much of anything. Thinking about his current body only brought up biocomponent specs and functionality reports (100% - Fully functional).

“Fucking-A…,” Hank muttered, noting once again he didn’t sound like himself. Being stuck in an android could be likened to sensory deprivation and informational oversaturation at the same time. If he dwelled on it too long, it’d drive him insane.

Something pinged him as he approached the door, and the door clicked open. “Welcome, RK800.”

Hank stepped into the foyer, marveling at its grandeur. It was a veritable mansion when compared with his single-story shack. It probably was a mansion. He wondered if Sumo would like living here, with the marble and the high ceilings. Maybe in the summer. The stone would keep him nice and cool. Air probably circulated well in here, too. Although the zebra rug didn’t look terribly comfortable

The double doors across from him slid open. Strolling in in an asymmetrical tee and jeans, Markus slipped a paint brush into the pocket of the smock tied at his waist. “Connor!” he called with a grin, wiping off some paint from his hands. “I thought you’d never take up my offer to stop on by!”

Hank returned the grin. He’d have to pass that comment on to Connor. “Hey, Markus.”

The android caught him in a brief hug before stepping back. “So what’s up? Care for a painting lesson?”

“Thanks, but not right now. Just have some…neat info we thought you would enjoy.”

“Oh, really?” He crossed his arms. “‘We’ as in you and the lieutenant? Isn’t sharing DPD intel kind of illegal?”

“Not exactly. I mean, yeah, but it’s not DPD.” Hank took a breath (UNNECESSARY; temperature nominal) and rocked on his feet. “We got an email from CyberLife this morning about some quack idea to define sentience. They wanted to see what would happen if they threw souls around, human and android alike.”

Markus scoffed. “Sounds a bit pompous. What makes them think they can even do that?”

Hank cocked his head and held open his arms. “They already have.”

Markus raised an eyebrow. He shifted his weight, looking the other over. “Connor…?” he asked slowly.

“Not at the moment. Hank Anderson.”

A half smile completed the look of surprise. “A human in an android body? And Connor is…?”

“Heading to the precinct. They called me in for something and he’s, well, me for the day.”

“Huh. You’re right, this is interesting. Temporary?”

“Yeah—here, Connor suggested I just…show you his memory—our memory—of today.”

“Sure, yeah.” Markus held out his hand. At Hank’s hesitation, he finally let out the chuckle he was holding back. “If you can figure out how to do it, that is?”

“Great, another snarky robot on my hands,” Hank grumbled, grabbing his hand. Markus caught another laugh and shifted his grip to his forearm instead. Their skin shied away from their touch, and the connection pinged his system. [RK200 #684 842 971] connected.

File copy requested: [Visuals; Audio] {-04:00:00.0}:{00:00.0}

Accept Deny

The notification took up his vision in an instant. It didn’t say anything about a memory transfer like Connor warned, so he figured it would do. Just thinking about accepting the prompt completed the request, and the past four hours from his chassis’ perspective played back at breakneck speed. From Connor petting Sumo and reading a book exactly four hours ago to Hank’s latest quip, it all sped by, too fast to comprehend and yet with every detail intact and evident. He reeled, flinging his arm back.

He blinked rapidly. The only sign of the event was the text (Copy complete) fading from his vision. Markus, on the other hand, dropped his hand to his hip, unfazed. “Mimicking a nexus connection by adjusting and enhancing the brain’s natural electric field to induce a complete data transfer,” he mused. “That is genius! It doesn’t prove anything spiritual, that’ll require much more philosophical debate into the depth and scope of AI, but it certainly doesn’t disprove anything either.”

“How can you understand all that so fast?” Hank asked candidly.

Markus smiled. “Years of practice.” He untied his smock and beckoned him towards the door. “Why don’t we continue this in the den?”

The doors slid open into an absolutely spacious sitting room. As if the zebra pelt on the foyer floor wasn’t excessively extravagant enough, the first thing Hank saw was a giraffe in the corner, probably real, definitely stuffed. (Analysis: TAXIDERMY, est 16yr) He had to stop from rolling his eyes at its ostentatiousness. “Ritzy place ya got here,” he commented, hoping Connor’s voice defaulted to conversationally neutral.

“Yes. Carl doesn’t particularly like it either.” Damn. “However, the media seems to dote on and worry about an elderly millionaire more when they live a modest, humble life than when they look the part.” He gestured to one of the couches in the center of the room. “Please.”

“Y’know, based on news reports and the whole ‘led a revolution’ thing, you’re not exactly what I expected.” The couches were bright cherry red, fitting the theme of the room. He sank into the one closer to the door.

Markus sat across from him, crossing his legs. “Even celebrities need days off,” he pointed out. “I used to be a caretaker. That doesn’t define me anymore, and Carl has a new full-time caretaker anyway, but I still like to come check on him when I can. Get free painting tips while I’m here. But enough about me.” He folded his hands in his lap. “I’m dying to know what your day’s been like.”

“Playing shrink now? What about, just…general exposition?”

“Anything! This is unprecedented!” His eyes shone. Connor was 100% correct that Markus would be ecstatic. “All of our efforts these past months have been towards helping mankind understand androids as people, and now here you are, literally seeing things from our point of view! Walk a mile in the other’s shoes, as the proverb goes.”

“Okay….” Hank drummed his hands on his legs. His first instinct was to think back through the day, but the thought triggered another rapid memory replay. He stopped it and groaned. “It’s fuckin’ fast,” he said. “There’s a shit ton of information even without the router in my head. With it, it’s like I’m every computer at once.”

“That’s an interesting interpretation of it. Maybe a bit of an overstatement.”

He scoffed. “This android brain has involuntarily subjected me to more math in the last three hours than I have had to do in the last thirty years. Like, I don’t need a speedometer at all times, or news updates from Ghana, or access to all the fuckin’ bad memes of my youth. It’s excessive! Maybe not to you,” he added, holding out a hand, “but you’ve grown up with it…figuratively speaking.”

“That’s true.” Markus propped his chin in his palm. “I guess I’d be able to relate more to Connor’s side. I wonder how he likes being disconnected from the network.”

“Yeah, I wonder, too….” Hank pursed his lips. “The kid seemed really shaken up as soon as the whole ‘identity’ question came into play. Seemed like he’s been thinking about it for a while, so I figured…a break from the norm might do him some good. Hell, if I’m getting so overwhelmed by android stuff, maybe he’s finally got some underwhelming peace and quiet.”

“Perhaps. I can ask him later, though; you’re here right now. How about…colors? Does the world look any different? Any sharper, mayhap?”

“Bud, this place would look like a Crayola box to anyone.” Hank took a moment to look around, ignoring the scrolling list of crayon names in his periphery. Sure, it was bright and sharp, but he was fifty-three. If he stole literally anyone’s glasses, it’d improve his vision. “Yeah, I guess it’s all in shiny 4K. Look, Markus, I’m not really a conversationalist; words never were my strong point, so I’m not sure how well I can convey this, ah…ongoing out-of-body experience.”

Markus held up his hands in surrender. “Perfectly alright, Lieutenant. With only a few hours of android life, there’s no sense sitting around talking for all of it. Why not look to some action instead?”

“Action? What’s that mean?”

He stood up with a smile. “Have you ever seen The Matrix, Mr. Anderson?”

“Snuck into a theater to see it opening week.” He pushed himself up in suit. His balance had to correct itself when he was on his feet earlier than expected, being lighter, stronger, and without a whisper of joint pain. “And yes, my friends called me that for months after. Why?”

“Well, we could always spar with some newfound kung fu, but painting has always been more my style.”

“What the fuck are you—” He stopped, remembering the scene he was referencing. His computer brain also conveniently played it back for him, too. Thanks, CyberLife. “I can just download painting? Like that?” He snapped.

“The technical skills, yes; the creativity and style, though, you’d still have to practice yourself.” He picked up his smock and held it out. “How about that lesson?”

Hank raised an eyebrow. He had never pictured himself as a painter. Or an artist of any kind. Or an android. He shrugged. “Ah, what the hell. You’re on, Picasso.”

[next >]

#Detroit Become Human #DBH #Hank Anderson #Markus #DBH fanfiction #body swap #my writing #generic tags this time nothing really to add #time is bleeding together and losing meaning in this quarantime

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peachymess · 5 years

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It’s not that scary

The video clip above is a snippet taken from the video interview with Isayama that is currently playing on loop in the last room of the SNK Final exhibition in Tokyo. A longer section of the interview has already been in circulation since the opening of the exhibit, but I want to share this particular clip because it contains exactly the two segments that I will be talking about in this post.

Mainly, I want to talk about what Isayama might mean by what he says about hurting the reader/viewer – but I’ll also be pointing out something about the second part (about characters he identify with), because of a previously missing piece of info that’s been inspiring a bit of worry in selective parts of the fandom (myself included, until I got clarification).

So, first of all, this is the quote I’ll be dissecting:

“In all honesty, I feel that’s what I really want to do. For me, as a receiver, when I think, “this story will remain in my heart”, it means, for example, it phenomenally hurt me: it’s those kind of experiences that I’m after.”

– Isayama, final exhibit interview.

The reason I want to talk about this quote, is that I’ve seen a popular analysis circulating, saying that the “this story” being referred to, is Isayama’s own story – Attack on titan. Meaning that, in context of the quote, Isayama is saying AoT (SNK) phenomenally hurt him – and that this is the way it will stick with him after its end; as something that did (and perhaps continues to) hurt him, when he looks at it from a reader’s point of view.

Sure, this makes sense. As a wannabe writer myself, I can relate to being emotionally invested in, and affected by, my own stories. I’m sure you guys can relate as well, in one way or another.

However, I’m not so sure that’s what Isayama is saying here. The analysis I saw, used the aforementioned context, to conclude that when Isayama said he wanted to go back to his original ending, this ending is what is going to hurt him. Aka: the ending is going to be painful as shit.

And that might be right. After all, his initial ending was going to be bittersweet and dark, according to sources.

However, I don’t think the “hurt” being referred to in the quote, is necessarily concentrated at the end of “the story”. I don’t even think SNK is “the story” in this context…

You see, after watching the interview several times for every time I visited the exhibition, I eventually started feeling like that circulating interpretation didn’t quite fit – even though that’s what I went in subscribing to. So I started applying a different interpretation to his words, and it fit a whole lot better: now, I no longer think the story being referred to, is SNK. I think Isayama is talking about stories in general. I believe that Isayama, when consuming stories (be it movie, book, anime, or something else), enjoys the stories that leave the reader feeling greatly emotionally impacted by it. One of the ways to hit the audience the hardest, is through tragedy, grim reflection and/or bittersweet outcomes that leave you unsure of how to feel. I think Isayama greatly enjoys stories like The Mist, The Green mile, The Shawshank redemption, etc. These are stories that stick with you long after you’ve consumed them – because they “phenomenally hurt you”. Side note: there’s also something to be said about the balance needed to create this kind of impact; you can’t just serve the audience dish after dish of unadulterated pain – you need to balance it out with beauty so the pain is worth revisiting.

Going back to read the quote over with this in mind, I feel like his words make more sense. Separate the part about what he wants to do as a creator, from his description of consuming; he’s digressing about what it’s like to consume something bittersweet as a consumer – not a creator – and then saying he wanted to seek that same kind of aftertaste in his own work. Please scroll up and read the quote again with this in mind, and then try to tell me it doesn’t fall into place this way.

See? I believe I’m right here. I’m sure many already read his words this way, but please humor me. Because I’m going to use this conclusion to make a further guess at the SNK ending. Not in detail, but in severity: I don’t think Isayama’s words are as foreboding as they seem. In other words: it’s not that scary. Why? Let’s look at what he says:

1. I want to stick to my original ending.

2. As a consumer, I feel like the stories that stick with you, are the ones that emotionally gut punch you.

3. Inspired by that, as a creator, I want my story to emotionally gut punch my audience.

First of all, if this is what he’s saying, we have eliminated the explicit statement that SNK will leave Isayama in pain. Sure, he’s still saying he wants to leave the audience in pain, but I think the severity of a creator saying “my own creation is going to linger in me like a phenomenal pain” is of lower intensity than “I want my story to emotionally impact my audience”. The first is almost a cause for concern, while the second is a given sentiment for most – if not all – creators.

Secondly, Isayama’s statement talking about how stories leave you emotional, greatly generalizes what it means to be hurt by a story. What I mean by this is, while it may be that Isayama intends to make his ending gut punching – he’s not directly talking about story endings; he’s describing what kinds of stories leave an impact: stories that hurt. But where? It could be anywhere. It could be in the opening sequence. It could be in arc two. It could be in the details. And, yes, the ending – just not necessarily the ending.

Isayama’s statements about wanting his story to punch, do not directly prove that his punching will happen at the END of his story. Especially not, when his story has already had so many instances of pain, bittersweet-ness, and terror.

While I still think his ending will be a heavy hitter, I don’t necessarily think Isayama is viewing his work as still lacking that one painful punch tm. The way he described how he wants his creation to feel, it sounds like this is something he knew he wanted from the getgo, and to be honest, his entire story looks to be a reflection of an attempt to deliver just that: Eren’s mother dying was already a heavy punch that I’m sure left an impression with a lot of viewers, but there’s also Eren’s shocking “death”, Hannes’ failure to repay his debt, Mike’s undignified death, the reveal of how Eren got his powers, Armin’s (and so many others’) sacrifice, Erwin dying without reaching his basement, the Liberio attack shown from Marley’s pov, etc. etc. etc. What I’m trying to say here is this: Isayama has already achieved the level of emotional impact that he said he set out to create. And I think he knows it. What he’s talking about in that interview, is the general mindset he had/has about his drives when it comes to story creation. It’s interesting as a viewer, to hear what kind of thoughts a creator has in his head when going about creating his story. Isayama is simply sharing those thoughts. It’s no secret that his story is going to punch; it already has.

And yes, I’m sure his ending is going to be in the same vein as the rest of his story; a mix of the cruelty and the beauty that he’s shown us so far… But I don’t think this interview is any cause for deeper concern, as it didn’t say anything about the severity of the ending explicitly. It’s not that scary. It’s not that deep.

…As for the thing about what characters Isayama identifies with, I wanted – more than anything – to just show you the question posed in the interview: “which character reflects yourself?” In the video you’ll see it pop up at the top, before Isayama starts saying something along the lines of “at first I thought it was Armin who… but now I think it’s Eren”. In the original video, I either didn’t see, or the video cut out the top half that showed the question – so that I was at a loss as to what the topic was. Armin who… what? Who what? Who was going to bring about peace? Who was going to turn evil? Survive?

The fear of hearing Isayama initially planning something for Armin and then flipping the script and putting Eren in that chair instead, had me very, very scared. Thankfully, my friend @ocean-moonlight helped me work out the context even before I got to travel to Japan to see it for myself.

I’m bringing it up again here because I don’t think a lot of people ever heard about this missing piece of info: that part of the interview was simply about what character Isayama saw himself in, not about Armin and Eren having opposite fates. Read the details in the post I wrote about it earlier: here.

Anyways, that’s enough of my rambling. I hope I managed to put some of you more at ease with this. It’s Isa we’re talking about so, sure, there’s always a reason to be scared. I just think there’s no more reason now than before. So.. have a cup of tea and chill, guys. We’ll make it through this – together.

#snk #hajime isayama #snk meta #snk final exhibition

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moldy-mold · 5 years

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Diary Post: My Thoughts and Processes on Making “Silent Strength” It’s lengthy, taking place over long period of time. Mainly written for my future-self to remember what I went through, but also for anyone who is curious. Now that the project is over, I can post without reservations. There are certain things I need to keep secret though, so if I’m vague I do so intentionally!

Basically, a lot of number-crunching, physical labor, and psychological labor.

It started off as kind of a joke tweet I made. I had enough content to make a Tales Of art book and people were receptive to it. So… I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this. A few weeks later, I suddenly had a lot of Kratos art. Like. 80% of all my Tales art was Kratos. It didn’t make sense to make a broad Tales Of book when really most of it was Kratos.

I hadn’t made a book since I was in college despite it being one of my favorite things to do. They were never art books, just some editorial design projects that totally didn’t count. This book… would be my first-ever art book.

Several times, I came close to having enough art to print a book - the last time was my large collection of Yusuke Kitagawa, but the quality wasn’t where I wanted. At that time, I was still experimenting with my iPad Pro and figuring out Procreate, so that was what I used him for.

NGL, I was pretty afraid of looking like a clown. After doing all this work, what if no one actually buys it? I was talking to some friends and they said they would buy it. It was enough for me. In the end, I’m creating something that I love. - The first thing I really wanted to work on was the cover. It needed to be epic but also mysterious (lol)… It was a good time to practice lighting and backgrounds. The cover had to be freaking Fantastic. I spent 3 days drawing nonstop. I was on vacation so I could spend full days just drawing. It was really intense. I would stop in the evenings to go for a run or else my legs would never get circulation again.

The hardest part was keeping it secret. I wanted to share it with the world right away bc I was so proud of it. Well, all I could do was show it to my parents and some close friends. They didn’t know who Kratos is, but it was obvious I was crazy about him.

Initially, I was doing some hand-lettering for the zine title instead of using a typeface. Tbh, I was so sure I was naming this zine “Blame Your Fate!” bc that is such an iconic line. But it just didn’t work with my cover, which looked… a little too serene for that. So… Silent Strength or Divine Strength? I asked around and got my answer.

But what size? All of my art has been on letter canvases. I wanted it to be large so you could see the details in the art. I’ll just start with that. - Luckily, I had all my Kratos-related art in one place. I started my InDesign file and threw everything in there just to see what it looked like. Man, I draw a lot of boxes… But I didn’t want them all next to each other. I also wanted to kinda organize it by the people Kratos hangs out with. There’s a Yuan section LOL… and a Lloyd section… and an Anna section. Idk, I tried to get some kind of order in there with a sprinkling of full spreads here and there to keep it fresh and interesting for the eyes.

I hadn’t worked with InDesign on such an intense level since college. I forgot all of the tips and tricks we learned in class. Spent some time reading on how to do things again… like adding page numbers. - I started drafting my pre-order form. It’s my first time making a google form like this. It’s kind of fun? I spent a long time on it, despite how simple it was. This was going to be my “Store” so it had to look and sound good. - My friend introduced me to charm-making. It seemed easy enough, and I wanted to give my zine more oomph. Besides, I’ve always wanted to make a charm.

I remember someone saying they’d buy a book of just the 4 Seraphim if it existed. I like them too and they lack art imo. In the end, I decided to do a polaroid charm. It’s not really that unique but I wanted Kratos to have actual friends to hang out with for once LOL.

She was going to do a group order to try to reduce the costs. I thought maybe 4 weeks would give me enough time. In the end she said I only have 2. I work well under pressure, so needless to say, I did make that deadline. I actually sketched the whole thing on the plane headed home. - After playing the game the second time, watching the OVA again, and reading “Offerings to a Star,” I have gained a real soft spot for Yuan. My friend once said, “If you weren’t stolen away by Kratos, you would be in love with Yuan.” Lol. I’ve been in a “Kratos and Yuan hanging out” mood lately, so of course I needed something good for the zine. They’re so cute together! Now… what is the bro-est thing I can draw?

I was currently in Florida for my friend’s wedding. I was friends with the groom and his best man since high school, so that makes it 10 years now. Seeing how they’re still friends after all this time, despite living in opposite sides of the country, was really moving to me. Of course, me being me, I could see Kratos and Yuan’s long friendship being similar to this, if they had gone to school together. I just had to draw it. - When I got back from vacation, I did some research on zine sizes. Mine was HUGE compared to others. I just didn’t quite realize it until I held a magazine in my hands. It really is huge…

I settled for a medium size. 7x9. I really liked how it looked. Petite but not too petite. Unfortunately resizing my book had messed up my artwork placement so I spent hours rearranging all the text and resizing my images. I found out afterwards that there’s a way to retain the format while changing the document size. Gee, that would have been helpful 4 hours ago.

Sadly, choosing a custom size booklet makes printing more expensive. But I wanted it badly enough that I’d be willing to pay for it. Letter size is just too large… - I decided to stop dragging my feet and post a promo. I just really needed a deadline for myself to get this all done before July ended. I’m happy it was well-received. A lot of people like Kratos huh…

Anyway, the pre-order is due in a week and I still don’t know what all the costs are yet. I need a physical proof ASAP to weigh at the post office! - Something possessed me one day to do another drawing. I don’t usually do painterly style (mainly because it’s really difficult and takes 10x longer) but I just REALLY wanted to push myself on this Final Piece to the zine. I wanted it to be… radiant. Almost religious. I worked on it obsessively. From breakfast to sundown. The only time I would stop was at 7pm to go running or else my legs would give out on me.

Call me crazy, but I would save my progress on my phone so I could examine it for errors during my warmup. I also spend an hour examining it for errors before going to bed. It’s a miracle I hadn’t dreamt of the painting. - I sent my files in on Sunday in hopes that they start working on it first thing on Monday…. and it HAPPENED! They finished before I even woke up. I think they start work at like 6am…

Of course, I drove over there as soon as I heard so I can get a look. “Please… please let the colors be okay,” I prayed as I was driving. I barely remember driving there, I was so lost in thought. It would be another long ordeal if I had to fix all the colors.

Thank the stars. The press proof looked BEAUTIFUL!! I was screaming to the client coordinator how much I loved it. I mean, I worried for a looooong time that everything would turn out too dark (it usually does) but it was PERFECT. I was especially worried about the cover, which contained a lot of yellow and I def did not want it to come out mustardy… But it was great in the end!

The press operator is a quiet man. He’s got a scary face and never smiles but I think he’s secretly nice. He has done a lot of favors for me in the past without my asking. He was the one to print, bind, and trim the book for me. Obviously he had to have seen what I was drawing. I wonder what he thought of it…? He walked away before I could express how happy and thankful was. He didn’t need to hear it. It was like he already knew. So cool…

I immediately took it to the post office to weigh it. I needed as much info as I could get and plus, I was dying to know for myself. This is the week I was supposed to open pre-orders and there was still a lot I needed to do. Take pictures, create mockups, pricing, etc.

NGL, all of these costs were building up fast. It was so darn expensive to make a zine while also keeping prices down. But I wanted so much more for my baby. Extra glossy cover, perfect binding!! I knew by the end of this, I probably wouldn’t make much money. It hurt a little, but I tried to think that it was for the greater good. Learning experience and all that. And creating something beautiful. Especially something beautiful of Kratos. - Pricing was really the hardest part. I pretty much threw profit out the window. However, I definitely did not want to be losing money. My dad and I had worked together to create a spreadsheet of expenses to make sure my head was above water. I followed it… loosely.

My friend came to talk to me at the right moment. I was sort of panicking at the prices. She made me realize I was thinking way too hard about it and gave me some tips based on her own experience. It really put my mind at ease talking to someone who understands my woes.

The truth of the matter is, the book is wonderfully made and has a lot of pages - countless hours of drawing. There is only so much I can do about pricing. It is what it is… I just needed to come to terms with my own worth. - Boy, what am I going to do once the zine is done? My friend says that I’ll be so over Kratos that I’ll stop drawing him (but the love remains). It’s like… all of the intense planning, working, struggling nonstop will just suddenly… stop. TBH, I’m running out of ideas. I spent it all on the zine. - Photoshoot today. I had to paint my nails purple for this occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the look I wanted in the apartment. It’s just so naked without props. I think I’ll take it to a cafe for some nicer backgrounds. I talked it over with my friend and decided to do a quick flip-through of the zine as a promotional video. I used the most professional video program I had on hand… Snapchat. It actually turned out pretty legit and of course I slapped stickers on there because it’s Snapchat.

I had to tape/hide some of the pages for the video because I wasn’t actually done with the drawings. I had the printers print it anyway so I could examine it for color accuracy.

I’m really stressed about pricing now. It turns out I had a lot more international fans than I anticipated. I wish I took notes on interest earlier in the game to cater to them. I had a list of “possible buyers” and I only just now decided to check where they live? Foolish.

I did another cost analysis on paper to figure out what my goal was to make up for the charms. Right now they’ve cost me a fortune for something that was supposed to be giveaway. Other things that rack up are packaging costs, PayPal fees, and some other supplies I needed for this project.

Maybe I shouldn’t have made it 40 pages. It is an impressive number, but no one is really paying for quantity. I think 25 is a better number lol. If I had done that, I could have had my super-gloss cover like I wanted. :’(

There is hope though. And I’ve placed it in the hands of my followers to come through for me. I think I’ll open pre-orders on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I finish. - “Losing your cool will only lead to poor decisions.”  Thanks, Kratos twitter bot. You always know what to say.

I read this post today on what makes people buy zines. Very interesting!  https://twitter.com/andythelemon_/status/1141469048653398019 - Photoshoot part 2 today. My friend and I went to a cafe nearby that had some nice atmosphere in hopes of finding the right shots. I brought all of my Kratos merch just in case. I’m glad I did though, since the tables were pretty sparse and it was difficult to capture the backgrounds without getting a bunch of random people in it too.

I would have been the photographer, but I definitely wanted my hands in the shots. In a way, it was meaningful - to show that this was made by my own two hands. Plus, I wanted to depict natural interaction with the product. It made it feel real.

The photos were cute! I feared it would look a little amateurish with all the merch in there, but I think fun was what I was really going for, not “professional.” And plus the flip-through was a Snap anyway LOL. As long as the photos have good lighting and tasteful composition, you really can’t go wrong with “fun.”

Now that I’ve finished editing my photos, there really isn’t anything holding me back from opening pre-orders. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my pricing. If I fail to break even, I’ll just have to open commissions to try to make up for it. I was telling my friend on the way home, “I gave this zine EVERYTHING I had to give. So at the very least, I won’t be disappointed in myself.” No stone left unturned, no detail left unchecked. It was perfect according to my standards. I really love my zine okay?!

I thought I was crazy for not only choosing a small fandom, I narrowed it down even further by picking ONE GUY to make this zine about. She replied, “Even if it’s small, those people who love him now must be EXTREMELY LOYAL to still be in love with a character from a 15-year-old game. All of them will want your zine.” - I went to bed that night with the intention of making the pre-order post live in the morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake until at least 5 or 6 am. Luckily, I was able to doze off for a an hour or two before I would shake myself awake again. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. It was the moment of truth - to see if all my effort made a difference. Was it going to sell? - The pre-order post looked really freaking good. I’ll give it that. I even made a YT account just to post that darn preview video on tumblr lol. It was definitely fun seeing everyone’s excitement and we all just freaked out together.

I broke even! That’s what really matters. Honestly at this point, I couldn’t care less if I made profit or not. I now know how much people really like the zine and that alone made me so happy I could die.

I was particularly fascinated at Google Form’s ability to transfer all the data collected into a spreadsheet. That is extremely helpful. I spent hours organizing the data. It was really fun…?! Now I can tell who gets invoiced and who paid and separate them into categories. IT’S FANTASTIC!

Stayed up late researching how much adding tracking could be. I had a slight panic attack thinking “what if my books got lost in transit?” It would really hurt me to have to reprint books and ship them again. And then I realized I will need to fill out customs forms for all international orders. Yikes, I’m gonna be living at the post office lol. You can print them out at home if you fill out the form online but there are still some things I’m uncertain about. I may visit the post office later this week to ask all my questions. - This morning I sent out everyone’s invoices. I gave the international people the option to purchase tracking. It’s expensive… but I need to provide that option just in case.

I received a nice message from someone who offered to advertise for me on Instagram. Of course, I gave them the OK! I’m really so shocked they would do that… They said the liked the zine so much it deserved more exposure. My dude… I love you… T_T

I thought about advertising on insta myself earlier in the week. For some reason I felt it was going to be fruitless since I don’t have an art account on there with a following. So, I gave up on the idea. Hey it worked out in the end.

I’ve never been so organized in my entire life. I want this zine experience to be perfect. The people have placed their trust in me, so I cannot mess up. - Edited some pages in the zine. The typography must be perfect… It made me think back to undergrad days in graphic design school. Man, if only I can present this as a project - photos, videos, matching accessories and all. I’d probably get an A lol. - Orders slow down after the first day. The rest is just about getting new people to see the post and giving other people more time to decide.

I finished my Kratos stationery today. It’s going to be so cute. My friend said people would want to buy it but I don’t have it in me to do more products at this time. Plus, I want it to be a surprise.

Why make stationery? Well my real job (no, I don’t draw Kratos all day for a living) is a stationery designer! It would feel really wrong not to put into practice what etiquette I’ve learned in this business. Plus, I felt that it was necessary to properly thank all those who ordered. And it’s fun?

I started designing the shipping labels for the domestic orders since I don’t need to fill out a customs form for those. I wish I had sticker labels but… it’s okay. It will still look good in the end. - Every so often, I would get nervous at the amount of money I’m responsible for. Perhaps, if I had a store with existing products I wouldn’t feel this way, but the fact that the books haven’t been printed yet made me scared. I know, I need this money to even print the books in the first place, but I’m just baffled at my customers’ trust in almost a total stranger. I felt pressured that I could not let them down and lose that trust. It probably didn’t help that I watched a documentary on Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos) that day.

So, I prayed every single day that nothing would go wrong. I’d check my spreadsheet constantly for any mistakes. It was a little obsessive, but I would rather be that than overlook something.

I began collecting cardboard boxes. My plan was to cut them up to protect the books during transit. I would have preferred hard envelopes but they were a bit pricey. If I have to do more work myself, so be it.

I’ve been getting nice DMs from some buyers. I think my invoice due date scared them… I really did not intend to be strict, but I wanted people to pay now if they can rather than forget about it. This happens at work all the time, so the best thing to do is have it due immediately. It would not look good to have to wait on stragglers when I close pre-orders, so I’ll probably reach out when there is one week left. - My Kratos stationery arrived! Aww it is SO CUTE!!! My babies… I have a lot of notes to write so I got started right away. It’s going to be a lot of work trying to come up with creative ways to say “thank you,” but I don’t mind. I said I was going to put my all into the zine experience so I will.

At long last, the charm order has been put in motion. My friend said it could take a while… I hope it won’t be longer than 3 weeks. I really do not want to keep everyone waiting. I may ship out the ones who did not win a charm first. I mean, there is no reason to make those guys wait. I should ask the charm winners if they still want to wait and see if anyone wants to give it up for someone else who is more patient. Hm. - I finally stopped by the post office today to collect customs forms. I have my work cut out for me since I’m filling all of them in by hand. D:

I’m not used to international addresses so I think I’ll ask for help in checking them for spelling errors and typos. Heaven forbid I mess up on the very last part of the zine experience.

In my nervousness, I decided to reach out about invoices early on. If someone wanted to cancel, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. Everyone was really nice about paying and thank goodness they’re still excited.

Feeling kind of overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but it’s a good thing. If I don’t know what to do, I can either: cut cardboard, write letters, type shipping labels, draw more Kratos for a… possible volume 2? Someone I talked to today already said they’ll pre-order a second book if I make one. Omg I think I’ll die. But we’ll see. It’s just a joke right now haha… - Preorders end today. I had another nightmare last night that the books could not be printed properly and there was nothing I could do. Why do I keep getting nightmares about the zine! I had one a few days before about people canceling their orders when I asked them about the invoices. I’ll take these dreams with a grain of salt. I’m probably just stressed/worried but everything is going to be okay. When I open my eyes, nothing is on fire.

I received my final proof a few days ago. With all of the artwork completed and changes applied. The book looks good, no doubt about it. There was only one thing I was nit-picky about but it can be fixed. The press operator offered to print another book for me to inspect. I’ll go see it on Monday and then submit the rest of the orders. I also asked to to have a meeting with the press operator so we are on the same page. It would be beneficial to have an understanding of how my book is made so that I may be more helpful to him.

I spent the day preparing shipping labels. I hate to admit, I am not too familiar with the format international addresses so I had an address validator open as I was typing them in. For the most part, everyone was helpful in already formatting their addresses in the preorder form! - My parents called me the day after preorders were closed. They wanted to say congratulations on my success. No one thought it would do this well. I couldn’t be offended by that since I was also guilty of it. I’m happy though. It feels like my love spread across the world and was contagious.

I tried to think of what advice I would give to others. Obviously, genuine love for the subject and hard work were a necessity. But it would be good to consider value. If I were selling it at this price, I had to make sure my pieces and presentation looked the part. I ask myself, if someone else sold it, would I buy it?

I sent out messages to all the charm winners in the morning. I wanted to apologize profusely at the ridiculous amount of time it has taken to get them made. But no, I’ve got to stop apologizing. I stated the facts and left it at that. Everyone was really kind and patient⁠—to which I was thankful for. I don’t usually get that when I’m working customer service. - All the books were done printing in one day. Wow! I went to pick it up immediately of course. I can’t believe all of this is coming to an end. I finished preparing the mailers. All that was left was to stuff and seal the domestic orders. They were the easiest to do so I’m going to ship those first. The rest will need customs forms, which I haven’t filled out just yet. It’s going to be a while for those…

The mailers were quite sturdy with the cardboard cutouts I slipped in them. I have nothing to worry about. I’m sure my babies will be okay! - I took a whole box of domestic orders to the post office today. Wasn’t sure what to expect. But my clerk had to input every single address one at a time while I checked for errors. Omg, why are the post office shipping labels SO HUGE. I thought it was going to be half the size. And they’re ruining my designer labels! Slight panic but oh well…

I had a long long line behind me. I’m so sorry, people. Luckily there were two clerks or I would be really sweating. Despite my intimidating box of zines, the clerk and I had Synergy and we managed to ship all of these in about 15 minutes. I received a very long receipt and quite the bill lol. - Shipped the international orders today. I was kind of a mess since I had no idea what to do. I keep wondering if I can help speed up the process in any way but I don’t think I have the option to ship first-class at home.

When shipping international, keep the post office copy of the customs forms together with the package since they use that to type the address info into the system. Also, we get free tracking, which I did not know about. The other clerk told me that we did not get tracking for international first-class but I guess he was misinformed. It’s good to know for next time. - The charms finally arrived!! And THEY’RE HOLOGRAPHIC?! It was pretty awesome, but it makes picture-taking kind of difficult!! Anyway, I was a tiny bit disgruntled that they got my order incorrect, and I even asked for a reprint. But they said no, so I left it at that. Besides, it seems the holographic effect was well-received.

I like this size that I made. It’s really cute! Larger than your normal charm but not too huge. It’s almost like an Instax photo! - There was one customer who I found lives near me! I asked her if she wanted me to hand-deliver it to her in a public setting and she agreed (to my amazement). We finally met a few days ago and talked for hours and hours lol! I’m glad to have finally made a new friend here in this town but of course she’s moving away in two weeks. <:’3

We’re going to meet again to make the most of her time left. - I shipped the rest of the orders on the following Monday. I HAD to get these out. The poor guys have been waiting over a month! I think I picked a bad time to go because I had a huge line behind me and only one guy working. People in line were getting antsy or mad. The clerk at the other post office was super fast but not this guy…

For some reason shipping to the UK and Japan nearly doubled in price since the last time I checked. RIP. T_T - Omg I finally made a mistake. I wrote a letter to the wrong person. And the contents of that letter are too personalized!!! I am dying of embarrassment!!!!! Screams!! Had to apologize to both customers too!!! Luckily they were good sports about it but I’m seriously kicking myself AAAAAAAA!!!! - The most rewarding part after sending all my babies away is seeing the commentary on my project. It is so so nice to receive positive feedback. People are happy! Happy with something I created out of thin air. Everything was worth it 1000 times over. I can die happy!

I’m especially thankful to those who show understanding for how much effort went into it. It definitely wasn’t easy and I poured way too many hours into it… not that I regret that.

I don’t want to jump the gun but I would really love to make a volume 2. Because I know I can do better than last time. New and improved art and comics! But we’ll see if I make enough pieces for another book. I was against printing 40 pages before but now I kind of like it. It feels more worth it than a 25-page zine. If i’m going though so much effort, might as well bring in the entire package.

I’ll be printing more of this volume for Aselia Con 2020. Now I know people will appreciate it.

#diary

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goodvibesatpeace · 5 years

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Chakras: Opening Your Third Eye

You can’t argue with the fact that the Earth is waking up from this man created illusion that we have been living in, and a lot more human beings are finally getting in touch with their true nature, otherwise known as self-realization. However, the spiritual movement has a long way to go before it stabilizes, there are still so many beings that need to mature and integrate the basic understanding of spiritual concepts.

It’s easy to get caught up in spiritual wisdom that circulates the public domain, one of the most common power infused ideas that catch the attention of seekers and those who would love to change their life, is the idea that by opening their third eye, they’re going to experience life in a new and exciting way that puts behind all the negativity and problematic experiences. Not so.

I have seen it many times over in the recent years — questions, answers, content, and even paid promotions, on the topic of ‘opening your third eye’, it baffles me when I see people who are willing to pay money to have their third eye chakra ‘opened’ by some mysterious guru, who in reality is only looking to open up your wallet and manifest some dollars for himself.

Third eye opens naturally, yet the process is gradual and you can’t expect to have your third eye blossoming after a few meditations.

The first step towards igniting the flame within this chakra is to have a sit down with yourself, and measure the importance of spirituality in your life.

Here are some thought provoking questions:

How does meditation affect my life. Have I noticed a difference?

How do I define spirituality, and how does spirituality define me?

What’s more important: to love myself, or to love temporary experiences.

How do I feel about the third eye, what’s my motivation behind having it begin to open?

What’s my understanding of the third eye, how is it going to impact my life?

You have to be honest with yourself before you can dive into the deeper exploration of spirituality, and experience all that it has to offer.

Answer the above questions truthfully and see how you feel about them, what kind of emotions do they trigger, and see for yourself whether you would like to work more on improving the quality of your life by practicing meditation and self-love.

Third Eye Opening

Our third eye is part of our energetic body, it has been with us since the very birth of our physical body, and it has always been activated and spinning.

I highly recommend to contemplate childhood experiences around the age of 3 to 5 (or as far as you can remember), and reflect on things like: confidence, truth, willpower, and trust.

As children, before our mind switches to the state of conditioned being, we are ultra-sensitive and fully aligned with our spiritual selves, but as children we don’t see it that way, we’re just happy to be alive, happy to experience all that life has to offer.

It’s very common for the modern human being to reach early adulthood with sever depression, anxiety and fear about life, the self, and the future.

The period from age 6 to 20 is so intense and overwhelming that we completely lose ourselves in the illusion of materialism and egoism.

How exactly does that relate with the opening of third eye?

Well, it’s quite simple actually. When we begin a spiritual practice, such as meditation, and invest our faith and trust into it, eventually it starts to manifest in our reality, and this reality is not so much different from our childhood. The third eye is a direct link with our intuition and knowing.

How does intuition and knowing manifest in our reality?

We become more confident, because we have a sense of knowing and understanding about our life’s path and there’s nothing more satisfying than knowing how to go about things, even when times are tough.

We begin to see things more clearly, which allows for truth to manifest in our heart and mind, and all of a sudden the egoistic illusion of everyday life don’t bother us anymore.

All those abilities that we had as children begin to return to us in our adult life, and it makes for quite some experience!

I’m sorry to disappoint you if you thought that opening your third eye is going to manifest dragons, fairies and unicorns, it certainly is very possible that you will experience vivid visions and sudden flashes of that nature, but it won’t happen all the time, and it’s naive to think that it would.

Neither is your third eye opening going to save you from rough patches in life, or give you a special golden ticket to the secret land of rainbows.

Third Eye Intuition

I do want to emphasize the fact that the opening of the third eye chakra has a very significant impact on your intuition, this newly found intuition takes many forms and shapes, but it will come about so strongly that you won’t be able to miss it.

There are times when many months go by without any particular insights or experiences, but then suddenly one day you might look back and realize just how beautiful life can be, and this keeps you moving forward!

Life isn’t meant to be a strict linear path of good experiences, or good fortune, or a path that doesn’t offer challenge.

Your Brow Chakra is a magnificent tool that once opened and amplified with meditation, can bring about insights and understandings that will gently guide you and inspire you in the direction of your highest growth and evolution.

I hope that the above information, insights and experiences clears up some of the misconceptions about this beautiful chakra, and I am happy to answer any additional questions if you have them.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, what about some meditations that we can practice on daily basis to stimulate the third eye and show to it that we’re interested in learning more about it?

The following meditations are also great practice for helping yourself to raise your energetic vibrational frequencies.

Meditation for Stimulating the Third Eye

It doesn’t matter which meditation approach you take, you can begin your meditation with any of the traditional meditation techniques that I have already written about in the past, likewise you can use your own favorite meditation technique.

The following method for stimulating your third eye is so simple that the only three things you need are willpower, trust and discipline.

Use your favorite meditation technique to relax and let go.

Keep breathing, relaxing, until you feel that you’re fully in meditation.

Begin to visualize a candle in front of you. (Continue to read after this for more info!)

Stay focused on the candle and don’t let it disappear.

The goal is to stay focused on the candle, no matter what.

You will naturally visualize the candle within the area of your third eye, and let me tell you — it sounds a hundred times easier than it actually is. I know this, and I know what you might begin to experience as soon as you start this process.

Your Ego will have a hard time accepting the fact that you’re trying to teach yourself discipline and focus, and will continue throwing all kinds of distractions your way, just to keep you away from the image of the candle that you’re trying to hold in front of you.

You might think to yourself that you’re not imagining the right candle, or that it’s too far away or too close, but all you have to do is just keep that focus ignited and it will manifest itself eventually.

You may also sometimes get a feeling or a knowing that you’re doing it right, and that will give you a good return point in future meditations.

It doesn’t have to be a candle, although a candle seems to be very straightforward and indeed very stimulating, it could be a specific color you like, or it could be another item that you’re fond of. There’s no written rule that it has to be a candle. Don’t let that stuff get to you.

Third Eye Symptoms (Buzzing)

The last thing I wanted to mention in this post, was third eye symptoms and how to recognize that the third eye is opening, but giving it some thought and looking back on my own personal experiences, the information and insights that I have given in this post already should be enough to determine whether your third eye is influencing your intuitive life experience.

After two years of ‘intense’ meditation, there came a day when suddenly my third eye was buzzing, it certainly is a nice experience and it can elevate your spiritual understanding drastically, it doesn’t stay on for too long, the longest has been a month or two maybe, which I recognize as spiritual growth and further integration of the Higher-Self.

#chakra #spirituality #third eye #higher self #brow #6 #anja

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girls-scenarios · 5 years

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To Feel Human (Part 1)

Idol: Irene (Red Velvet)

Prompt: Could you make android au with Irene and fem!reader? The reader created Irene and wanted Irene to learn about human feelings. Although, sometimes Irene feels like she’s a burden to the reader and leaves temporary. At the end, she comes back they love each other ❤️

Writer: Admin Lee

A/N: Ok this is gonna be a pretty long one, which is why I separated it! I already have most of the second part finished, I’m just working on the ending. Anyways, I took some liberties with this one, but I hope you like it! This one has been super enjoyable for me to write, and I was very inspired by one of my favorite fics: Zeitgeist by leeyoobin on AO3!

Part 2

It started as just an off-the-wall idea, in the living room of one of your friend’s house, Yeonjung’s, to be specific. Along with the rest of your closely knit group, including Yoojung, Yuha, Eunwoo, and Jihyo, you had talked of AI’s, their advancement, etcetera. This was shortly after college, when you had finally earned your Bachelor’s degree in Bioengineering, and a Master’s in mechanical engineering. With an adoration for movies like Ghost in the Shell, and an affinity for problem solving, this was able to motivate you enough to begin a new project: making the first android for personal use. Unfortunately, you weren’t the first with the idea and skills needed to create true artificial life. However, so far the androids on the market have been widely restricted, kept only to be used by large-scale companies with supervision, the military, and other government operations. So, you felt the compulsion to take the risk of creating one more suited for use by the average person. And after a few days of thinking it through on your own, you ended up pitching the idea to Jihyo over lunch.

“You want to...What?”

“Well, I didn’t think it’d be a bad idea, you know? Someone to keep the average person company, help around the house, take care of pets... Stuff like that.” You explained, trying your best to sound reasonable about the idea.

“That sounds great and all, but what about the parts? And the facility we’d have to use to build it in? Half of the things we would need would most likely be illegal for regular people to get..”

You paused, thinking for a moment. “How about Eunwoo’s girlfriend, Kyulkyung? She has some corporate connection, I’m sure.. She’s not an heiress for nothing.”

“I- Ok, we could ask, but it’d probably be a stretch, even for her,” Jihyo replied, always the realistic one. “And I’m assuming you won’t be able to do this alone, so I’m texting the rest of the group, just to see if they’re interested.”

A week or so later, Kyulkyung was able to text you, voicing her enthusiasm for the project, as well as her ability to obtain what your group needed. She was more than happy to help, and coupled with Eunwoo’s impatience, they were able to discreetly transfer some packages of parts and tech to a borderline-abandoned company warehouse near the small town you lived in.

Everything was now sitting in boxes in the now less-empty warehouse. With the help of your friends you took the time to meticulously go through and somewhat organize the amalgamation of parts you had received. There was also a rather large one that you had yet to open. Weird, because Kyulkyung had never really said anything about a package that big. Nonetheless, your curiosity got the best of you and you opened it up.

A discarded android was what you found. Telltale light on its temple blank, lifeless. You had never been this close to one, really, and found it fascinating that something could look so human. You turned in Jihyo’s general direction and got her attention.

“Hey, Jihyo!” You called, and she turned away from what she was doing, walking over to where you stood. “I didn’t know this would be a repair-job, did you?”

“Oh, yeah. When Kyulkyung suggested the idea of fixing up a deactivated droid, she said it’d be easier on all of us. No one would really look into it if something irreparable were to go missing, so she just took this,” She gestured at the inactive android. “and said it’d be more efficient to just fix it up. A lot more inconspicuous for the company, too. Sorry, maybe I should’ve mentioned it.”

“No, it’s fine! You’re right about it seeming easier, I was just surprised,” You explained, eyes still locked onto the body in front of you. “Since we only have to fix it up,we should finish a lot faster, don’t you think?” You could see her nod out of the corner of your eye, and she walked off to resume her work.

Taking note of it’s features, you saw it was a female model, not too hard to tell. Its skin looked soft and pale, and this surprised you, but made sense after thinking about it. Maybe the people that worked with them often wanted to feel more at ease, so the appearance was made to look lifelike. It’s hair was relatively long, and dark in color. You knelt down in front of the container, reaching out to touch the body lying in front of you, but stopped yourself mid-reach, now realizing the gashes and dents in the model (most likely one of the reasons why it was in the scrap pile). Deciding it was a better decision to take care of everything else before dealing with the android, you shut the box gently and went to ask your friends what they needed help with.

The week had finally ended, and you and your friends worked day and night to get the warehouse up to par. There was a platform set up with wires and tubes to hold the android while it was being worked on and programmed, a couple of shelves stocked with spare parts in the corner, some computers and generators, and the android itself - still in the dark, hard plastic container it had arrived in. Not ready to unpack it quite yet, your group took the weekend to relax and prepare for the hard work to come.

Upon meeting again Monday evening, a matter needed to be taken care of before you all could begin: would the android stay here in the warehouse, or would one of you take it home with you once it was completed? Lottery was as good a method as any, and you all put your names in a small box that Yoojung had picked up. After a bit of shuffling the names within the box, Yuha grabbed a slip of paper. She then read aloud:

“(Y/N).”

Looking up from paper, she smiled and jokingly commented, “Have fun getting the robot used to that beast of yours.”

You laughed, imagining how your dog - a Newfoundland named Walter - would act around someone new in the house.

With that now taken care of, you began work once again. This time, finally ready to start working on the android. Eunwoo opened up the box attempted to pick up the body inside.

“Damn, this thing is heavy.. Yoojung, could you bring a rolling cart or something?”

“Sure,” She replied with a chuckle, then within a minute, brought back something the android could be moved more easily on. “Here you go.”

They both managed to get the droid on the cart, and in half an hour, hooked up all the wires from the android to the computers nearby. Then came the more difficult part: repairing the android itself. Not an impossible task, however, it was quite daunting. From what was on the container it arrived in, the model seemed to be a CX100, which didn’t necessarily matter to you outside of which parts were correct. So after finding the model type, you worked on getting familiar with the software Kyulkyung sent with the rest of the tech, hoping to figure it out in enough time to get a diagnostics test run soon. It was getting later in the day though, and your friends had obligations outside of this, so they were gradually saying their goodbyes until it was just you. However, you didn’t mind this, and understood they had lives of their own. Unlike you, who had a flexible schedule working from home (you wrote articles and edited for a science-related magazine). This was one of the few exciting things happening in your life right now, and you didn’t want to waste the time you had.

4 hours had passed since you were left alone. You were still messing around with the computers and getting a handle on the general anatomy of the android in front of you and were now feeling comfortable enough to begin tinkering with the programs necessary to work on the robot. Getting the diagnostics software package up and running, you look at the data now popping up on the screen in a list based on importance of the issue. There were several biocomponents that you found were damaged, as well as a critically low amount of Thirium 310 (a type of liquid that circulates energy and electronic info throughout the android). The software showed which of the synthetic organs were damaged in a 3D model of the robot, so it was a lot easier for you to search the boxes and containers for the parts that it required. You left them out to be cleaned, along with a sticky note listing what they were and how to properly clean them, as you had read over the procedures in a document that had also accompanied the software. It would make more sense to do it tomorrow anyways (when you weren’t running on two Red Bulls). Not exactly known for being a night owl, the work was going starting to go a little slower, even with the help of energy drinks. So you decided on calling it a night for now, figuring that you had accomplished enough for one evening.

The next two weeks went by surprisingly fast, and there was an impressive amount of productiveness despite everyone’s schedules getting busier as the year was drawing to a close. It was nearly the end of September, and as the temperatures dropped, your spirits certainly didn’t. The android was nearly in full repair, with the parts being cleaned and replaced, Thirium replenished, gashes and dents mended. You all felt more than accomplished at your progress, considering that all was left was putting some final touches on the programming. Collectively, you had all decided that an android with a capability to be gentle, courteous, reliable, and helpful would be one of the best options for a robot with the intent of personal use. Therefore, the appropriate behavioral abilities were added into the matrix. However, with parts of the company’s system still being there, you discovered the android had already been embedded with a neural net - thus giving it a way of thinking, of being, similar to humans.

Now, for the moment you had all worked so hard for. With the programming complete, the android was ready to be activated. The small group that had put an insane amount time into this project was now all gathered around the small platform where the android was kept while being repaired. Kyulkyung had taken a day off to join the ensemble, just as excited to see the finished product in action.

“So, it’s really going to act like a normal person?” She spoke up, inspecting the multiple tabs still on the computer screens that surrounded the platform.

“I mean, that’s what we’re hoping for, for the most part. I think what we were working towards was an ability to act like someone you’d see every day - or a friend even.” Yuha explained, typing some things into the computer before shutting down a few tabs. “Those were just some diagrams of what needed to be fixed.” She stated, turning back to face the group in the rolling chair she was lounging in.

“Are we ready to start it up, then?” Yeonjung inquired. “I want to see how it acts when it wakes up!”

“Yeah, I think so. Eunwoo, would you do the honors?” Jihyo asked, gesturing to the button on the laptop that would start the android up.

“Sure can!” She exclaimed with a thumbs up, jumping over to the monitor. “Everyone ready?”

You all nodded your heads, eager to get the android running. The anticipation was killing you for sure because you knew it would be staying with you tonight. Eunwoo pressed the key, causing the computers to whirr with activity. The temple light on the android lit up a bright blue, and its eyes opened.

“I am model CX100, how can I help you?”

You spent the next hour or so going over all the basics: making sure the programming was compatible with its neural net functions, checking to see that the body was moving correctly, and testing things like vision and other sense modifications that you had improved upon. The android complied with every request you made of it without a hitch, and soon, you were finished. By this time it was already dark, but the group couldn’t help but be enamored with the artificial intelligence. They spent at least an extra hour asking it a plethora of questions, to which the robot answered all of them to the best of its ability. However, before it was time to take it home for the night, you held a quick meeting.

“(Y/N) just be careful, okay? Try to keep its presence on the down-low, we don’t need anyone getting suspicious, especially since it’d be Kyulkyung’s job - and potentially our careers as well - on the line.” Jihyo stated seriously. You understood, of course, getting caught would only end badly for you all. So you nodded, promising to keep it out of sight as much as possible.

With that out of the way though, everyone soon broke off from the ensemble to head home, leaving the android in your hands.

“Ok, CX100, we’re going to go to my house where you’ll stay for the time being. I have an extra room where you can stay, so that won’t be an issue.. And maybe tomorrow we can get you some more clothes.” You explain, now aware that the only thing it was wearing was a hospital gown. Functional for setting up, yes, but maybe not for everyday wearing. Figuring it’d fit in some spare clothes lying around at home, you didn’t think it would be much of an issue for the ride there.

“Thank you.” Short and to the point.

Maybe you’d just need to warm up to it.

You arrived at your house without a hitch and opened the door for CX100. The two of you then walk up the small pathway to the large wooden door of your two-story abode. Maybe you didn’t need all the space, but you got it for a deal, and though it was a little rustic, you enjoyed the tranquil atmosphere it had.

“Wait here a second, I have a dog.” You stated, not wanting the android to become too surprised at your rather large pet. “He’s a Newfoundland, so he’s kind of big, but he’s really sweet so don’t worry too much.”

You then opened the door, inviting the android in first before following soon after, closing the door behind you.

“Walter!” You called.

Within a few seconds, your Newfoundland was bounding down the stairs, and jumping right into your arms. He covered your face in kisses before looking up at the new house guest. Walter slowly stepped over to where CX100 was, sniffing and wagging his tail as he got closer. The android seemed to dislike him, a sour expression on its face as it backed up into your coat rack near the door. Sensing the robot’s discomfort, you called your dog back over to you before telling him to go lay on the couch in the living room adjacent to the entry. He understood and trotted away.

“He’s a bit much, I know.. But I’m guessing dogs aren’t your favorite now, huh?”

“I can’t say they are. He’s very large and… eccentric. Though I will become accustomed to his presence, as I assume he is your pet.” It answered monotonously.

You nodded and beckoned CX100 to follow you to its room, one of the spares you had in the house. It was the closest to yours, so you’d be able to easily check up on it overnight if needed.

“Feel free to move some things around, change it if you want. It’s your room now, so please make yourself at home,” You mentioned softly. “I’ll be downstairs for a minute to feed Walter, if you need anything, let me know.” And with that, you left the android to get settled.

The night carried on as usual, save for the addition of your guest. The droid acclimated quickly, and you watched it find its way around the house like it had been living there forever. Its modified features were definitely making themselves known now: the photographic memory, use of its senses, etcetera. This was promising news, and you would definitely have to keep your colleagues posted.

Once it finally came time to go to sleep, you contemplated asking CX100 to spend the night in your room, if for nothing more than to keep an eye on it for its first night outside of the makeshift lab. You came to the conclusion that, yes, it would probably be a good idea to keep an eye on it overnight just to make sure its sleep sequence went smoothly. Although it doesn’t need as much sleep as a human does, you concluded that the android would need more time tonight to process the day’s activities.

Walking to its room, you knocked once before opening the door. CX100 was sitting quietly on the bed, seemingly staring off into space. You cleared your throat to get its attention, which snapped the android out of its thoughts; this prompted it to look up at you.

“Would you mind if you stayed in my room? It’d just be tonight, I wanted to keep an eye on you to make sure everything is running normally.”

“Yes, it will not be a problem,” The android answered. “Would you like me to relocate myself now?”

“Sure, thank you.” You were completely ready for bed so, you followed the android out into the hall, turning off the few lights that were still on as you went.

Soon, you were able to watch as the android went into its dormant state with Walter cuddled up next to you as the blue light on its temple went from a constant glow to a dim flash of color about every 10 seconds.

You now felt relaxed knowing that everything had gone smoothly for the night, and that there had been no problem whatsoever with CX100, albeit its slightly reserved personality. This wasn’t really a problem per se, however, the delay in showing the emotion you hoped it was capable of would most likely take some time.

Upon waking up in the morning, you noticed two things; One: CX100 wasn’t in your room any longer, and two: Walter wasn’t there either. You promptly got up and went downstairs, only to find your dog lazily napping on the floor underneath the kitchen table, and CX100 cooking breakfast.

It noticed your presence, and looked at you from over its shoulder. “Walter has been fed, I assumed two cups of food was adequate for a dog of his size,” It stated, looking back down at the bacon that was sizzling away in the pan on the stove. “and I’m in the process of preparing breakfast, is that alright?”

“Y-yeah, definitely. Thank you.” You replied, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. It was still relatively early, 7:26 to be exact. Going to the fridge, you grabbed some juice, along with a cup from the cabinet nearby, and went to sit down at the kitchen table. After a few minutes, you spoke up.

“Don’t you think getting called CX100 all the time is boring?”

“I have not. It is the name of my model, should I not address myself as such?” It inquired, setting the now cooked bacon on a plate, along with some eggs and a biscuit.

“That’s true, it is. I just thought, maybe for something a little less suspicious in case we were to go out of the house, would an actual name be nice?”

“If you think it is a choice that would benefit me, then please do.”

“Do you want to decide? On both whether you want one or not, and what your name would be?” You questioned, genuinely out of curiosity, but also partly for the purpose of testing its mental abilities.

The android seemingly went into deep thought for a moment and looked down at the wooden floor. It hadn’t necessarily had to make a decision of its own before now, but now given the chance, it hesitated. It was built to be more human, had the capabilities to suggest, decide, request - the list goes on. The LED flashed yellow, just for a moment, before assuming its normal, blue glow.

“Irene.” The android stated, now making eye contact with you. “I would like to be called Irene.”

#red velvet #irene bae #irene #bae joohyun #red velvet scenario #irene scenarios #girl group scenarios #girl group scenario #kpop scenario #girl groups #kpop girl groups

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decandantfics · 5 years

Text

When You Need Me - Part 4

Talk to Him

16 June 2019. It was an odd day, alternating between hot sun and cool clouds, unable to make up its mind which it preferred. Nearly midday now, the sun was beating down mercilessly, occasionally sliding behind some puffy clouds for a few moments, offering an overheated Declan Donnelly some brief respite before frying him again with its blinding rays. Dec was out running a few errands for Ali, who was resting on the living room sofa at home, her feet up and a cool lemonade in her hand as she watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians, her favorite guilty pleasure TV show. Dec had already made a run to the post office, and was now headed to the chemist on his way back from their local Sainsbury's, having needed a single jar of sauce for the pasta he was going to (try to) make later that day. He had been running himself ragged ever since coming home a week ago, caring for Ali and trying to do as much of the normal housework as he could. She had been diagnosed with gestational hypertension, and had been advised to not exert herself – rest as much as possible, keep her feet up, and take the medications which had been prescribed. Her condition had improved, but her blood pressure was still high, and Dec was worried.

Hurrying along the mostly empty streets, he was annoyed when a paparazzo suddenly popped up from behind a nearby hedgerow, camera shutter flashing repeatedly as they snapped photos of him and his can of sauce. Quickening his pace, Dec soon left the tabloid pest behind, eventually bounding up his front steps and into the relative safety of his home. Calling out to Ali that he was back, Dec stepped into the kitchen to leave the pasta sauce on the counter for later. Feeling his phone vibrating in his jeans pocket, Dec fished it out and raised a weary eyebrow when he saw the caller ID: Georgia Hawkins. Now what, he groaned inwardly, accepting the call with a swipe of his thumb.

As soon as he answered the phone with an unimpressed, "Yeah?" a torrent of words assaulted his ear. Georgia's sentences were so rushed he could only make out a few words here and there, but those few – "Ant," "Anne-Marie," "The Sun," "exclusive" – were enough for him to get the picture: The Sun had finally gotten proof of the rumours that had been circulating for a while now. They were going to out Ant and Anne-Marie's budding relationship. He couldn't deal with this right now. He was already stressed enough as it was, not even having recovered yet from BGT, and now with the angst over Ali's health...This was the last thing he needed. His body acting on instinct, self-preservation kicking in, he cut the call and threw his phone onto the kitchen table with a clatter.

Sinking down into a chair at the table, Dec buried his aching head in his hands, letting out a long, deep sigh. His head felt like it was going to explode, his already high blood pressure skyrocketing further, testing the limits of the ACE inhibitor, enalapril, which had been prescribed for him two months ago to manage his out of control stress-induced hypertension. Worry for his best friend crowded everything else out of his mind, taking hold of him and shaking him to his core. What if this was the beginning of the end again? Would Ant survive this? What if Anne-Marie couldn't take the pressure and broke up with him? What then? Mind going in endless panicked circles, Dec faintly became aware of Ali's raised voice in the living room. Georgia must have called her, then. Great. Just what Ali needed in her delicate state.

Preparing to storm into the living room and grab the phone to give Georgia a piece of his mind for potentially raising his wife's blood pressure further, Dec was surprised when his own phone buzzed once again, skittering across the table as it vibrated. It was Georgia again. He still couldn't deal with this. Declining the call, Dec let it go to voicemail. He'd listen to his telling off later. Right now, he had a wife to check on....Although come to think of it, she was probably going to tell him off, too.

And that she did.

~~~

The sun had now long since hidden behind a solid wall of clouds, and the temperature had chilled considerably. Dec needed a walk to clear his head. Ali had ripped into him for hanging up on Georgia – twice – calling him unprofessional and saying his lack of respect for others was shocking. She evidently had no sympathy for him and what he was going through, so he figured he might as well just go out. No one would miss him if he disappeared, clearly. Ali would be fine on her own with the baby, and Ant had Anne-Marie now - he obviously didn't need him anymore. His family could cope with his loss – there were plenty enough of them to go around to make up for the small matter of his absence. Come to think of it, everyone would be better off without him here. He wasn't much of a catch at the best of times, but these days he was downright miserable to be around. He couldn't blame everyone for becoming sick of him and abandoning him. He'd leave himself, too, if he had the choice.

The ringing of his phone rudely interrupted his increasingly morbid train of thought. Sighing, he pulled it out of his pocket. It was Georgia. Again. Casting his eyes to the heavens in a silent plea for a lightning bolt to fork out its tongue and just kill him now, he accepted the call.

Surprisingly enough, Georgia didn't even mention the fact he'd hung up on her earlier, launching straight into details of the exposé The Sun were planning on running the following day. Dec couldn't say a word, just listened dumbly as Georgia quoted bits and pieces of the article, saying they had no way of stopping it going out. Barbed wire wrapped tighter around his heart as she repeated the words of an unnamed source claiming to be a "friend" who seemed to be his own insecurities incarnate: "...she has put a smile back on his face. She has been his rock. They have been living in each other's pockets, day in, day out." That should be him – he should be Ant's rock, they had been living in each other's pockets for years. But now he'd been replaced. Ant had found someone better, and pitiful little Declan had been left in the dust. That hurt.

Oh, and here came another paparazzo. Fan-bloody-tastic. Sucking his lips in, Dec cast a baleful glare in the pap's direction, continuing his swift pace. The end goal of his walk remained unknown – he was just aimlessly wandering around town, to be honest, wishing he weren't alive – but it looked purposeful enough, his impassionate gaze directed at some undetermined point in the distance.

"I've already spoken to Ant," Georgia continued, "and he's completely fine with everything they want to print. There was just one bit that he got angry about, but we managed to negotiate with all of the tabloids to ensure they omitted it."

Curiousity now getting the better of him, Dec spoke for the first time since he'd answered the phone minutes earlier. "What bit did he want cut out?" His voice was choked, almost sort of fearful. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling whatever it was had to do with him.

Georgia hesitated for a moment, obviously torn. "You know, Dec, I really think you ought to ask Ant. You'll just get upset if I tell you."

Despite repeated exasperated attempts at getting Georgia to reveal what had been removed from the article, Dec finally had to admit defeat. "So Ant's fine with this? He doesn't seem upset?" It bothered Dec that Ant was seemingly unperturbed by his private life being exposed like this. If it were him, he would be furious about his privacy being invaded.

"He's not pleased, no, but he's not too upset. Said he knew it would come out sooner rather than later. He actually seems a bit relieved that they don't have to hide anymore." Georgia sounded puzzled, like she couldn't quite understand why Dec was asking her about this instead of just talking to Ant himself. "Haven't you talked to Ant yet, Dec? I figured you would have spoken by now. Ant said he was going to call you."

"Yeah, well, he hasn't has he," Dec muttered crossly. "He's got someone else now, doesn't need me." His words were clipped, hurt evident in his voice.

Sounding shocked but somehow sorrowful, Georgia exclaimed, "Oh, Dec, is that what you think? You need to talk to him, you really do..."

"Yeah, that's what everyone says. Thanks for the info, Georgia, I've gotta go."

"Bye, Dec, and please talk to him."

Ending the call with a vicious stab of his index finger, Dec pocketed his phone....Only for it to start ringing again. Cursing under his breath, he pulled it out and glared at the screen. To anyone watching – and thankfully the paparazzi were nowhere in sight for this photo opportunity – Dec's next reaction would have seemed odd. A kaleidoscope of emotions passed over his features as he stared at his phone – passing from his initial annoyance to surprise, intense vulnerability, sadness, and then a hint of hope, before returning to sadness. Finally swiping up just before the call went to voicemail, Dec answered.

"Ant?"

#ant and dec #ant mcpartlin #declan donnelly #ali astall #fiction #decandantfics

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fayfya · 5 years

Text

From the Case Files of Ellery Conroran

Saturday, August 31st

I am being forced to move in with my Nana in Echo Ridge, Vermont thanks to my mom driving her car into a jewelry store while she was high on opioids and having to go to rehab. The town and my new school are tiny, but luckily there is a lot for a true crime aficionado like me to investigate in town. My aunt Sarah (Mom’s twin) disappeared when she and my mom we young and 5 years ago, my Nana’s neighbor teenage daughter Lacey was murdered. On top of that, Nana, her neighbor Melanie (Lacey’s mom), and my twin brother Ezra came across a dead body on the way home from the airport. Talk about a bad omen.

Here’s what I know about each case:

Lacey Kilduff, a beautiful blonde homecoming queen was found strangled in a Halloween theme park called Murderland 5 years ago. The case was never solved, though her boyfriend Declan Kelly was suspected and has since fled town. Me and Ezra want to get jobs at Murderland, now called Fright Farm, to see if we can learn more about Lacey’s murder.

My mother’s twin sister, Sarah, disappeared without a trace when she and Sadie were in high school, right after Sadie was crowned homecoming queen. No one ever talks about what happened and no one ever mentions her.

A police officer named Ryan Rodriguez came to interview our family about the body this morning. He must be new because he seemed really nervous. Nana told us later that both his parents died recently, so maybe he is just sad. I was a crap witness, but Nana remembered a lot. I guess the guy was a science teacher at the high school. Nana thinks he was out collecting hail and got hit by a car.

Monday, September 9th

So, there’s some pretty creep vandalism going around. Someone wrote “MURDERLAND THE SEQUEL COMING SOON” on the outside of the cultural center during a fundraiser before school started and now we found three dolls hanging from the top of a mausoleum with nooses around their necks, drenched in red paint, with the message “I’M BACK. PICK YOUR QUEEN, ECHO RIDGE. HAPPY HOMECOMING”. The weird thing is, Malcolm Kelly, a guy in my grade who just happens to be Declan Kelly’s brother, was the one who found both. Somehow, I believe he didn’t do it, though. It just seems too cliche for him to be a vandal.

Ezra and I have started at Fright Farms. Pretty boring stuff so far, but I hope I will learn something about what’s going on at school.

Also, I asked Nana about Sarah and she told me a couple of things! She said Sarah was smart, reading constantly, and asking questions. People thought she was quiet, but she had a sort of dry humor. She was good at math and science, she liked astronomy, and she wanted to work at NASA when she grew up. She and Sadie were thick as thieves and loved to mimic each other and fool people. Which makes it even more weird that Sadie never talks about her.

Thursday, September 19th

I got on homecoming court. I don’t know how that happened since no one here knows me well enough to nominate me and it is really freaking me out, especially with all the graffiti and stuff. The next day, my god damn locked got vandalized with a twisted doll and the message “REMEMBER MURDERLAND, PRINCESS? I DO. '' Katrin and Brooke (the other nominees) have the same on their lockers. I think this is happening because I am connected to Sarah. The school newspaper has started calling this guy the “Homecoming Stalker”.

Friday, September 27th

Everyone is on edge this week, but so far the homecoming dance is still on and we went to a pep rally at Fright Farm tonight. Nana arranged for Officer Rodriguez to give us a ride. Sadie called on the way there. We asked her about her own homecoming, but she said she didn’t really remember it and tried to change the subject. I was able to find out she went to the dance with Vance Puckett and asked about Sarah, but got no answer. She hung up right after that. I don’t think she ever got closure about Sarah’s disappearance. Unfortunately, the Homecoming Stalker struck again with more threats during the rally. I’m beginning to get used to it, really. I had a “moment” with Malcom Kelly afterwards, but it was interrupted by us hearing Brooke drunk in the next room and needing to check on her. She was acting super weird and kept talking about having to show them and what happened. Then she asked me if I had ever made a bad mistake and said she wished everything was different. Malcom took us home and was going to drop off Brooke next.

Saturday, September 28th

Officer Rodriguez came by this morning to tell us that Brooke didn’t come home last night. He wanted to make sure I was safe. Nana freaked out more than I’ve ever seen. She started going off on him about how they police was doing nothing to protect us even though threats had been made. Things are not looking good for Malcolm right now… Officer Rodriguez immediately started questioning us. This time I was good witness, remember the paperclips, the “that’s what she said” joke that Brooke made, and her weird comments. I told him about the ride home and make sure he understood it was just by chance that we came across Brooke. I did skip the part where Malcolm asked if he could call me. I have become suspicious of Malcolm, but Ezra thinks it is a distraction and Melcolm had nothing to do with it. He doesn’t read as much true crime as I do.

Malcolm came over to talk to Ezra and me. He says he dropped Brooke off at her house and saw her go inside. He says there are rumors going around that he and Brooke were hooking up, but that they aren’t true. I told him we believed him.

Monday, September 30th

The homecoming dance is still on, but has been scaled down and there won’t be a court. I am relieved. Malcolm is getting harassed at school, so that sucks. Ezra and I are just getting stared at. Everyone was suspicious of Malcolm already just because he is Declan’s brother.

Who is committing these crimes? If I’ve learned anything from true crime, when a girl goes missing it is almost always the boyfriend or husband. Declan could be guilty. I am suspicious of Vance Puckett because he was Sadie’s boyfriend and is always hanging around. I’m also not sure if the police are incompetent or covering up for someone. Rumor has it Ryan Rodriguez had a huge crush on Lacey, but she never paid attention to him. That could be motice. I’m not so sure about Officer McNulty, either.

I also found out today that Declan is dating Daisy Kwan, who was Lacey’s best friend. This makes both of them look suspicious if there was a love triangle 5 years ago.

Wednesday, October 2

Search parties all day, candle light vigils all night. The same few theories keep circulating: Brooke just ran away, she’s the victim of the Murderland killer, one of the Kelly boys did something to her.

Mom called because she heard about Brooke and the threats. I got upset that she never talked about Sarah and she told me she felt guilty because she was losing her virginity after the homecoming dance when Sarah disappeared. She feels responsible for Sarah’s disappearance because she was supposed to be with her. She said there was more she wanted to tell me, but had to go.

Tried to get some info out of Vance when he came into the park. I didn’t get much, but he did say Brooke asked him how to pick a lock.

Thursday, October 3rd

Daisy admitted that she liked Declan all through high school. She said right before she died, Lacey showed up with a bracelet that looked like 2 antler twisted together. She tried to find out more about it, but was unsuccessful. She turned the bracelet in to Officer Rodriguez. Interesting.

Friday, October 4th

Did some lock picking myself and found a car repair bill in a fake sounding name for Malcolm’s stepsister’s car. The car was brought in August 31st, the day after Mr. Bowman was killed.

Saturday, October 5th

Hanging out with Malcolm instead of going to the homecoming dance. My current theory is that Malcom’s stepsister Katrin is responsible for Brooke’s disappearance. She hit Mr. Bowman with her car, made Brooke help cover it up, started the vandalism as a distraction, and Brooke ran away because she was scared. Declan and I headed to homecoming to see if we can catch her in the act, but nothing happened.

Sunday, October 6th

There was a body found in the woods. It is Brooke.

Thursday, October 10th

Malcolm thinks it was Declan. I am starting to agree with him.

Sunday, October 13th

It’s all wrapped up and I wasn’t even close. Though I still almost died in the process. It wasn’t Katrin, it was her dad Peter. Peter caught us talking about how we suspected him. He was having an affair with BrookeHe took our phones lead us downstairs. We figured out he framed Declan for Lacey’s murder (THAT WAS HIM, TOO!) and was going to frame him for Brooke, too. He’d been having affairs with Brooke and Lacey and said they had overstepped in some way. When I asked about Sarah, Peter whispered “I thought she was your mother” in my ear. Petrifying. I will never tell anyone he said that. I was terrified and thought Malcolm and I had not way out! He left us in a room locked from the outside with a portable electric generator running. We both passed out, but Officer Rodriguez saved us! He had tracked the bracelet back to Peter. I had texted him before Peter took our phones. I didn’t answer when he called, so he came looking for me! The threats were fabricated by Viv so she could have a good story to write about and submit to colleges. They were not related after all. What a scary first 6 weeks in Echo Ridge! I’m glad the murders have been solved and Peter is in jail where he belongs.

#FAYFYA #2019YASummerShowdown #spoilers!#Two Can Keep a Secret #Karen M McManus #case file

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avesagittarius · 6 years

Text

lost mal-evolence // 2

WORD COUNT // 1725

summary ! The youngest of the Maximoff siblings had lived through heartbreak twice now. First her parents’ death and then her older siblings’ abandonment. She didn’t know what she’d done wrong, only that she searched for them for 3 years before HYDRA recruited her. She joined them when she learnt Pietro and Wanda had came here after leaving her. Now 6 years after their departure, she was in the process of becoming HYDRA’s best asset ever.

a/n ! sooo part 2, i was feeling inspired... hope you like it :))

warning ! okay so this isn’t really a warning but let’s pretend my baby Pietro is not dead in this series alright :)

GIMME FEEDBACK PLS :))))

part uno

________________________________________________________________

“You have to try HARDER” Madame HYDRA was now screaming at her. They had been training for five hours now, but Mal never backed down. She knew she had to control her power and if she had to train herself to exhaustion then she’d do it.

Katya Sarkissian, had succeeded her mother Ophelia and was now in charge of this operation. She was quite proud of her recruit, she’d accomplished so much since she had become a mutant.

But the goal was to channel her protégé to the top. She could do great things now, she could do even greater if only she trained more.

“Come on Mal, make him do it !” Narrowing her eyes, the head of operations was getting frustrated with her trainee. “Stop.”

Mal’s posture immediately tensed, awaiting the worst. She hated not being able to do something, she hated disappointing Madame HYDRA. Because she knew her actions had consequences.

She turned her 5′5 frame towards the imposing woman and kept her head high, not an ounce of fear radiating from her body. But deep down she could feel the dread coiling and tugging at her insides.

“What’s distracting you Mal ? You need to concentrate !” The anger in her tone made Mal shiver and want to lash out at her at the same time.

“Nothing, Madame. I have to try harder.” No emotions in her voice, she knew better than to show any vulnerability.

The sigh of frustration that followed her statement almost made Mal wince.

“Don’t lie to me Mal, why can’t you do it?” Miss Sarkassian was cold, she was going to get her to do what she wanted.

“It’s like I can hear the electricity of his nervous system” said the teen while nodding her head towards the man who had been standing there for a few hours now, “but I can’t seem to reach and interfere with it”

Mal’s hands were held in front of her as she has been instructed to do for six years now. When someone talked to her, they had to be able to see her hands, the most dangerous weapon in the facility.

Every person who worked here as HYDRA’s staff or scientist knew that with one touch of her hand they could be dead.

Everyone but Mal.

16 years old Mal Maximoff knew her powers were the result of an experiment that still haunted her at night. But she didn’t feel any remorse, she was proud to be special, to be someone who mattered for once.

To be someone they needed.

In fact, it’s the only thing that mattered for her. That for once in her life, those people weren’t going to let her go as easily as her parents or as her sister and brother did.

She didn’t really know who HYDRA were or what they needed her for, but to be honest she didn’t really care either. She had gained something from them.

Power and a strange sense of stability.

Mal was brought back to reality as the woman in front of her spoke once again. Calmer this time, but there was still an edge to it.

“Well we have to repair that. Try again” It was an order.

The young girl faced the man once more and concentrated. She could feel her own body thrilling and crackling with the electricity flowing through her veins.

She focused on the man and she could hear it, the millions of nerve signals running at incredible speed in his head.

Madame HYDRA decided Mal was in need of a little motivation to achieve and complete her training session.

“You can do it, reach for it like you were reaching for your siblings when they left you, when they abandoned you” She smirked.

Mal reacted to that comment, her green eyes turning a glowing but gloomy purple.

“Come on, don’t you want them to pay, for leaving you, for not caring about you. Once you control that man you control anyone, you control them Mal”

The maleficent woman knew this kind of anger called her power to the surface. She had seen her achieve unimaginable things when annoyed with her past, with her siblings.

And she knew exactly what to say to get her to electrify herself as well as a whole city.

Mal knew deep down that Katya Sarkissian was only trying to get in her head, trying to anger her. But it worked.

Every. Single. Time.

She just couldn’t get past the fact that they had left her.

So she growled while her features were morphing into one of intense concentration. A growing mist invaded the room, making the man cower a bit in fear, under the pressure of Mal’s dominating presence.

“If they had been there, they’d already have done it” That was the final straw.

Mal was burning with anger, she had always been afraid of not being good enough. But she was done of that, she deserved more than being compared to her pathetic siblings.

She finally accessed his brain, hearing and feeling every part of his spine where nerve signals circulated as the man wanted nothing more than to get out of this place.

Madame HYDRA’s words kept on repeating over and over again in her head, she had enough.

She wasn’t afraid. Not anymore.

She intercepted the subconscious nerve signal which allowed the man to breathe without thinking about it.

She intercepted it and blocked it. Along with all the upcoming ones who were trying to seep through her barrier.

She had to prove that she was worthy of this power flowing through her veins. She had to prove to the woman in the room she could trust her, that she could do it.

She wanted more than anything to prove to herself that she wasn’t afraid of death.

And so Madame HYDRA was left speechless and she saw the man clawing at his own throat and then fall limp head first on the floor.

His head cracking open with the impact.

Suddenly the mist vanished and Mal’s eyes returned back to their everyday color.

The head of operation couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of the corpse in front of her. She had expected Mal to react to her comments, to achieve the goal they had set for this session.

What she hadn’t expected was for her to be able to kill that soon. She had figured it would still take a few more months, maybe a year with good preparation and manipulation.

She clapped and went to hug an emotionless teen.

“Congratulations my child ! You did it !” It looked almost as if she was going to start jumping and dancing around the room. It was a rather unusual sight for Mal to see Madame HYDRA that content.

“I am very proud of you, you will get a meal tonight !” She smiled at the young girl.

At this Mal lifted her clouded eyes, and smiled slightly. “Thank you Madame”

Mal never got more than a meal a day, so this meant her trainer was really happy with her.

But now that the anger had subsided, was Mal ever going to accept the fact that she had killed someone? Out of her anger for her family.

New York, Avengers Tower, a week after the first meeting.

“Sooo, anything new on Miss Thunderbolt ?” Sam chuckled when entering the lab where Tony, Steve and Bruce where currently searching for new informations on the girl that had fascinated more than one Avenger.

Tony looked up and pouted “I thought we had agreed on Mini Thor”

“Nah, it’s too confusing” Sam winked and turned to Bruce who readjusted his glasses before speaking.

“Not since yesterday, I’ve tried countless times to run the facial recognition software on that picture but nothing comes out, it’s too pixelated”

Steve sighed and took a seat next to him.

“She doesn’t look very old, that’s what we know”

“How old ?” interrupted Clint who had just arrived.

“I don’t know, she doesn’t seem older than 20. Pretty sure she’s younger than the twins”

Other than confirming that you were in fact part of HYDRA and that the Siberian facility had been in use for the past few years, only the underground part though. That’s why they hadn’t been aware of it.

They weren’t coming up with enough informations to be flying out to Russia and bring down HYDRA.

Even though they knew everything about the location and Bucky had helped with the layout of the facility, they still couldn’t find the identity of the girl which was essential if they even wanted to try and free her of the hold the organization had on her.

“What about the leaders of her experiment ? Do we know anything about them ?”

Ever since Clint had learnt that it was the evil organization behind the powers of the girl, he had tried to help. It felt like he just needed the confirmation that they were going to think this through and get a bit of rest.

Tony pointed his index towards him “That my friend, we can tell you more about”

He stood up “FRIDAY, files on the mean Lady please”

He then proceeded to show them to everyone in the room, even though Bruce and Steve had already seen them. “That” he pointed to a tall and fierce looking woman in the picture “is Katya Sarkissian, head of operations at the Siberian facility, daughter of the infamous Ophelia Sarkissian”

“So she’s following in her mother’s footsteps” Sam was trying to piece it all together, the name seemed quite unfamiliar.

“Yes, well not exactly her mother, Viper, had an on-going narcotics business and was set on world domination, it seems our current Madame HYDRA inherited

the title but that’s it” Cap explained, a serious look in his eyes.

Tony nodded before continuing with the infos.

“We know she moved up the ranks pretty fast, having learnt quite a few things from her mother until now, where she is officially ‘researching on chemical and biological weapons for the Russian Army’. Those being human trials apparently.”

They all seemed to understand so he finished.

“We suppose she is the supervisor of the operation and she has multiple persons with advanced abilities under experiment including Mini Thor”

“Okay, that’s great” Clint was being sarcastic, he knew they had to bring this operation down before it took a nasty turn.

part 3

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fbwzoo · 7 years

Note

I’m sorry if this has already been asked before but I / really / want a hedgehog but haven’t found any reliable care sheets for them that I trust. Thankfully, I follow your blog and your hermit crab care is astounding so I was wondering if you could maybe run down the basics of their care and what I should potentially feed it? :)

Hedgehogs were my first love, so I’m usually pretty happy to talk about them! :) I’ve been a moderator on these forums for a number of years & joined back in 2009, shortly after I got my first hedgehog - http://www.hedgehogcentral.com/forums/ They’re not perfect, but I think there’s a fair amount of good information, especially for new owners.

The stickies (threads at the top of the forum section) have a lot of good basic information. Here are some of the really important ones to check out:

Health: Health FAQ section

Nutrition:Beginner Nutrition Guide

Advanced Nutrition Guide

Safe Treat List

Insect Guide

Fresh Food Guide

Raw/Home Cooked Diets

Enclosure & Toys:Heating Info

Enclosure Examples

Enrichment & Toys

Behavior:Behavior Expectations

Biting

Other:Traveling

HedgehogsofAsgard’s FAQs

Hedgehog care tag on my blog

Common Misconceptions

Some more basic care info that may not be listed in above links:

Enclosure: Should be a minimum of 8 square feet. Solid floor, and solid walls up 8-10″, at least - they like to try & climb & can injure themselves in falls. Keep heating in mind - if you’re in a cold climate or keep your house cold, a vivarium is a better choice. Best to keep cages as one level, but if you want to use multiple levels, make sure ramps & second levels are enclosed. Hedgehogs have poor depth perception & will often walk right off an edge.

Temperature: Should be 73-80F (23-27C). Best to keep temperature relatively steady - some do okay with fluctuation, but drops over more than a couple degrees can cause a hibernation attempt in sensitive hogs. They can also become more temperature sensitive as they get older. They handle hotter temperatures better than cooler, but every hog is different. Typically best to start around 75-78F & adjust from there as you get to know your hedgie.

Heating: Do NOT use heating mats - space heater, CHE set up, or radiating heat panel (RHP). The third have not been used for hedgehogs much yet, but I hope to get one for Bindi at some point. More info on heating set ups in the link above.

Lighting: Not enough light can also cause hibernation attempts. They should have 12-14 hours during the daytime - don’t depend on daylight, as it gets too short in the winter & storms can make it too dark. Best to have a light for the cage or put a lamp near the cage. Timers help with keeping light schedule regular & eliminating the concern of forgetting to turn it on/off. No light on at night - it can discourage many hedgehogs from normal behavior.

Nutrition/feeding: This is mentioned in the links above, but to stress the point - hedgehog foods are crap. Cat foods are not ideal, but the best option we currently have. Check out the Beginner Guide for specifics on protein, fat, and ingredients. The Advanced Guide goes a bit more in depth with ingredients, choosing brands, etc.

It’s really preferable to have insects included in their diet - they need more fiber than cats (insect exoskeletons) & the majority of their natural diet is insects/invertebrates. The US hedgehog community doesn’t tend to stress insects enough, really. If a hedgehog won’t eat them, it won’t kill them not to have them. But every effort should be made to include insects in their diet daily.

Do a lot of research if you want to try out a home-cooked or raw/natural diet. There’s not a lot of specific info known for hedgehogs, but @hedgehogsofasgard has a great post on hedgehog nutrition in her FAQ & we’re working on getting more of a community going for English-speaking hedgehog owners who want to feed raw/natural diets. It’s already fairly common in some other European countries, like Germany, Russia, and I believe some others.

Grooming: Hedgehogs poop on their wheel, so usually need foot baths, sometimes even nightly. Just a half inch or of water to get their feet clean is fine. Full baths shouldn’t be given more than every other week or so - it dries out their skin & most hedgehogs don’t like water & are very distressed by baths. If they get dirty more often, you can use a warm wet cloth to wipe them down. For full baths, use an oatmeal-based body wash (not shampoo) if you need to use a soap of some kind.

Nails should be checked frequently & will need to be trimmed weekly or every other week. It can be difficult, so go slowly & be patient. Work at getting your hedgie used to having feet played with during your nightly bonding time by lightly grabbing, rubbing, and pulling them out to look at them. You can use cuticle scissors, regular human nail trimmers, baby nail trimmers, or pet nail trimmers - whichever is comfiest & easiest for you. Back nails typically grow faster, but front nails typically grow curved & should be watched carefully for curling so they don’t start to injure the paw pad.

*** Do NOT use nail trim inserts on the wheel! Hedgehogs run on the pad of their foot - these inserts will rub their foot raw & do nothing for their nails. Inserts of any kind should not be used on hedgehog wheels due to the risk of getting tangled on their feet/legs - just wash the wheel daily or as often as needed to clean poop off it.

Bedding: Another area the US differs a lot on. Fleece/fabric liners are popular over here. They’re reusable, easy to change out & clean, look cute, and they don’t have a lot of safety risks. The biggest risk with them is if you have long hair - it clings to the fabric & hedgehogs can get hair wrapped around their legs (or penis, for males) & cut off circulation. But they don’t allow for digging, which is a major natural behavior. People try to accommodate this by giving dig boxes with natural substrate, fleece strips, craft pompom balls, etc., which some hedgehogs will use.

Other options include aspen or kiln-dried pine (risk of mites & getting caught in penile sheaths), paper bedding (minor risk of mites, can be dusty & cause dry skin & sneezing), or a naturalistic/bio-active set up. There’s more info on that last one in Hedgehogsofasgard’s FAQ link and also a FB group.

Vet Care: Be prepared for vet bills. Hedgehogs are notorious for racking up big vet bills. If you’re in the US, look into vet insurance - Nationwide is the only one that currently offers an exotics plan. It’s only about $8/month for a hedgehog, well worth it! Have a vet fund ready, with at least $500 in it. Also check into CareCredit, a credit card specifically for vet/health costs. High interest rate on charges less than $200, but 6+ month payment plans with no interest for amounts $200 & over, so it’s helpful for surgeries or expensive diagnostic tests like biopsies, x-rays, etc.

Have a vet located before you get your hedgehog. Exotic vets are harder to find & often more expensive. Find out how experienced they are - whether they’re just willing to see hedgehogs, but haven’t seen many or any, see hedgehogs a few times a year, or if they’re pretty well experienced. Less experience isn’t necessarily bad, but make sure they’ll be willing to work with you to find the best treatments & care for your hedgehog.

Those are most of the main topics I can think of. If there’s any major ones I missed, let me know and I can expand on it! :)

#hogblr #petblr #hedgehogs #hedgies #pet hedgehogs #hedgehog care #hedgehog caresheet #african pygmy hedgehogs #long post

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lady-une · 7 years

Text

Chapter 11

Well here it is....only 3 more chapters left in the story after this. Big shout out to my lovely beta @tears-of-orphans, your comments and feedback keep me going luv. Oh and if you know of anyone who is really into making mood boards who happens to be into khh please pass their info on to me! I would really love to have one made for the final chapter of this story. As always if you liked the chapter please leave me some feedback and share if you could!

Gray

I had just finished with my lineup and was walking around looking for Sarah. I had thought she would have been there to watch me perform but when I scanned the crowd I didn’t see her. I spotted Loco and Chase and walked up to them. I asked if they had seen Sarah but they shook their heads no.

“Where is Jay?”

They looked at each other and before Loco responded, “Not sure, we haven’t seen him in a good minute.”

I nodded my head and took off to find the missing two. I was starting to get worried because no one could find them, even Ji Soo came up to me and asked if I had seen Sarah. I pulled out my phone and was ready to call her when I spotted them. Jay looked happy with a small smile playing on his lips while his hand was on Sarah’s back leading her into the room. Sarah also had a small smile on her face that was also somewhat flushed. Ji Soo had also found them and was taking Sarah away who looked upset now. Jay looked like he was thinking hard on something and then he stuck his hand in his pocket, it looked like he was holding onto something. I saw him smile for a second before he turned to walk towards the snake.

I stood back watching Sarah a little longer being introduced to different people. She tried to act as if she was happy but I could see the pain in her eyes. Something had happened for sure between the two of them. Whatever Ji Soo had said to them must have been bad to make her whole mood change in a matter of seconds. I had an idea of what the two were doing together but I didn’t want to believe it. I had hoped whatever was going on between the two were over and I would be able to be with her. Sarah was left alone finally and I took the chance to talk to her for the first time all night.

I pulled her into a hug and gave her a kiss on her cheek, “Hey princess you looked amazing out there tonight.”

“Thank you, you looked pretty good up there tonight as well.” She said as she smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes nor did her eyes match her words.

“Oh you saw my performance? I was looking in the crowd for you and didn’t see you. Where did you go?”

“Oh, yeah I saw a little bit but then stepped out for some air. It was getting hot in there and I just needed some air.”

“Are you ok?”

“I’m ok but not really. I think this was all a little too much tonight, do you want to go? I’m finished up here and Ji Soo won’t need me anymore.”

I studied her face before nodding and helping her to the back area to collect her things. The whole car ride back home I kept sneaking glances over at her. She was really quiet and a few times I thought she had maybe fallen asleep.

“Sarah are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m good, just tired.”

I didn’t try and push her anymore the rest of the ride home. When we finally got home she went into the bathroom to wash up while I went into the kitchen and sat down drinking some water trying to figure out a way to get her to talk. I heard the shower turn off before she walked out of the bathroom in her robe and went right to the bedroom. I placed my glass down on the counter before I stood up and made my way to the bedroom. The door wasn’t shut all the way so I pushed it open and saw her pulling her pants on. Her hair was up in a tight bun and she had on a thin tank top. I smiled as I watched her applying lotion to her arms. When she got to her shoulder my smile fell from my face as I noticed the mark near her collar bone. She turned around and went to sit on the bed to apply the lotion to her legs. Slowly I walked over to her and asked her again.

“Princess where were you?”

She looked up at me with a confused look, “I told you, I was outside getting some air.”

Now that I was closer to her I could see the bite mark and purple coloring that told me all I needed to know. I closed my eyes not wanting to see Jay’s mark on her body.

“Can you move, I want to go to bed.”

“Oh sorry.”

She got up and went to her side of the bed before she pulled the covers back and climbed in. I walked back to the door to turn the light off before returning to the bed and climbing in. I laid facing away from her, the pain in my chest making it harder to breath just being so close to her. I couldn’t say I loved her but I knew I could easily get to that point. I closed my eyes wonder what hurt more, the fact she lied about where she was or the fact that she fucked Jay and he left his mark.

Sarah

I woke up pretty early and could hear Gray slowly breathing next to me. I slowly got out of the bed making sure I didn’t wake him. I grabbed some clothes before I shut the door and went to the bathroom to change. I knew what I had to do and I knew it was going to hurt Gray but it was for the best. Once I was washed I left Gray a note on the counter telling him I would be back later before I put my shoes on and walked out.

I went around the block to the coffee shop to grab some food and figure out where to start my search. I didn’t have much money and I didn’t want to ask anyone for any help but I knew it was time to find my own place. I pulled my phone out once I sat down with my order and started looking at some places. As I looked at more places I realized that I wouldn’t be able to stay near here if I wanted to stay within budget. The more I thought on this the more I saw it as a good thing. The further away I was from the studio and where the guys usually hung out after work the less I would run into Jay or Gray. I found a realtor around the area I was looking at and made a call, thankfully they said I could stop by and they could show me a few rooms they had open. I finished my food before going out to catch the bus.

The ride to that side of town was long and while I wasn’t looking forward to the long bus ride every morning I kept reminding myself this was a good thing. The area wasn’t too bad, there were still some store fronts and corner stores along with scattered restaurants. The area didn’t make me as anxious, if anything it reminded me of my neighborhood back home. I found the realtor office after wandering around taking in the neighborhood. When I walked in I was welcomed by an older gentleman who looked to be about my dad’s age.

“Hello, I called earlier about some rooms that were open?”

“Oh yes, please please come in and have a seat.”

I thanked him before I took a seat across from him at a small table.

“So how much do you have for a deposit and how much were you looking to pay a month?”

I told him what I had and what I was looking to pay. He smiled and said he had a few that were vacant at the moment and that he could mark the rent half off since it was already into the month. I thanked him and we got up to go look at the rooms. The first one was very small and didn’t have any room to move around, I could basically sit on a mattress and reach what he called a stove but really it was just an electric warming dish. There was no sink and the bathroom was outside of the room. The next one was a room below a computer café, this one was roomier but it had no air circulation because there were no windows at all. Plus you could hear all the commotion from the café above. The employees were also coming down all the time because the storage room was also down here. The next two were also not a right fit, one was above a bar and the other was above a house and the house owners had a long list of demands for the tenant. I was starting to doubt that I would ever find a place. We walked up to a corner store and he mentions that this was the last one. It was a room on the roof of the store and that I would have full access to the roof as there was nothing being stored up there. We took the back stairs up to the roof and I noticed it wasn’t too large but there was a table to eat on and a place to wash your clothes outside and hang them to dry. The room had an electric lock and when we walked in I was surprised at how roomy it was. When you walk in you are instantly in the kitchen space, there was a sliding door separating the two rooms. The main room was spacious enough for a small bed and a small dresser, there was also a door that opened up to a small bathroom. I knew this was probably as good as I was going to get and we went back to his office to go over the paper work.

I was sitting down at the little table inside the realtor office waiting for him to draft up the documents when an older woman came into the office looking a bit frantic.

“Mister Ma I have a problem!”

The woman ran up to him with tears in her eyes and started talking to quickly for me to follow. From what I could understand her aunt back in the states was very sick and she needed to leave today to get to her. The realtor took her to his desk and they continued talking often looking back at me. I tried to not look up and took out my phone to just scroll through social media while they talked. The realtor came over and cleared his throat to get my attention.

“Miss if I may propose a rather strange offer to you?”

“Go ahead.”

“You see my tenant here needs to leave for the states on a family emergency. Her lease isn’t up for another 5 months, how would you feel like renting out her place with furnishings for the next 5 months. You won’t even have to worry about this month’s rent, and I will charge you the same as the rooftop room.”

“That sounds amazing but I don’t know where it is or what it looks like.”

The woman came over and sat across from me pulling out her phone.

“Here are some pictures, please this would help me out so much. It’s such a nice place and the neighbors are super nice. There is never any kind of issues in the area either. It’s not that far from here in an apartment building that even has an elevator.”

I took the phone from her and looked at the pictures, I was pretty surprised at how nice the apartment was. I was even happier that it was an apartment and not just a small room the size of a storage space.

“It’s only for 5 months, what about when that ends?”

The realtor stepped in, “Depending on if Miss Suae has to stay in the states we can extend the lease at that point or I can help you find another place.”

I sat for a moment looking at the pictures again, I was set to settle on the rooftop room but this was too good of an offer to pass up.

“Sure I will take it.”

The two of them clapped and he brought the paper work over for me to sign. Suae told me she would have everything of hers packed and out of the apartment by the end of the day as she was needing to leave right away. They told me I could move in tomorrow if I wanted to. I paid my fees and was handed the key card for the apartment.

I made my way back home not really looking forward to the conversation I was about to have but the plan was already in motion. When I walked into the apartment Gray was sitting on the couch watching a basketball game and he muted it and turned towards me not looking to happy.

“Where were you?”

“I was out looking at places.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to, this was always the plan Gray.”

“Why can’t you just stay here? It’s a big enough apartment for the two of us.”

“Gray you knew this was always going to happen, I told you when I moved in here that I would only stay long enough for me to get some money and then I would be moving out.”

“I know you don’t have enough money to move and you didn’t ask for any help. So again why are you moving?”

Gray

“Gray why are you making such a big deal about this.”

“I don’t know why you can’t just stay.”

I was starting to get really frustrated with her answer, she just kept repeating the same line over and over and I wasn’t buying it. There had to be another reason for her to want to move. Images of last night came flooding back in of the two of them coming back and then seeing his mark on her.

“I don’t buy that excuse one bit. Are you moving so you will be able to fuck Jay whenever you want?”

“This has nothing to do with Jay.”

I knew she was lying and I stood up from my spot on the couch and walked over to her pulling her shirt down to expose the mark on her that was starting to fade.

“The wind must have been rather aggressive last night.”

She slapped my hand away and glared at me as I turned to walk back to the couch sitting down before I spoke again.

“I don’t know why you bother trying to lie to me, I saw the two of you walking back together. I know you were with him, I didn’t want to believe it at first. I really wanted to believe you when you said you went out for air but then I saw that mark, his mark…..and I knew instantly my fear had come to life.”

“Gray I’m sorry but you knew I was going through some shit and this is why I didn’t want to stay here. I told you it wasn’t fair to you. That’s why I’m moving, because me staying here isn’t fair to you. I can’t be here feeding into whatever this is between us.”

I stood up feeling the anger inside me rise, “Whatever this is between us? THIS?” I motioned between the two of us. “I thought THIS was a WE! I told you to give me a chance to show you how things could be but you couldn’t even do that! No you couldn’t just let him go could you? You couldn’t just push him from your mind and let me have a shot at making you happy! God Sarah you know how he is, hell he is fucking the snake right now! How could you be so stupid to think he will change. Jay isn’t the take home to mom and dad kind and you know it! He is the guy who fucks you and never calls back!”

“Gray just stop! God I should never have moved in here, I knew this wasn’t going to end well.”

“Of course it wasn’t because you couldn’t stop thinking of Jay! Of Jay my fucking friend and our fucking BOSS! What the fuck Sarah, what part of this sounded like a good idea to you?”

“I fucking told you Gray I was confused.”

“No Sarah, how can you get confused between two guys? This isn’t some kind of drama on the TV Sarah, this is real fucking life! You can be confused about what to eat for dinner or what to wear, but you don’t get confused about what guy you want to fuck!”

“I know and I’m sorry, god you have no idea how sorry I am right now.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix things Sarah. Sorry doesn’t take back that you let him stick his dick inside you! Was this even the first time? How many times have you even fucked him?”

“Gray….”

“God this isn’t the first time is it?” My hands went to my hair pulling on it as I was at a loss of words. I looked towards Sarah who I could see the tears building up in her eyes. “No you don’t get to cry and make me feel bad Sarah, you did this. You made the choice to fuck him, you could have said no. One simple word would have stopped all of this, but you chose not to say it.”

“Gray please.”

She reached out for me but I stepped back with my hands up, “I can’t be here right now.”

I stepped around her and went for the door, I put my shoes on and grabbed my things before walking out slamming the door. I leaned against the door trying to calm my racing heart as I heard her crying from the other side of the door. I shook my head and took the elevator down before getting in my car. I called both Loco and Chase but both of them were too busy and couldn’t come out. There was no other place to go so I went to the studio, if anything I could throw myself into some work or just drink the pain away.

I pulled up to the studio and parked the car. I walked in and noticed some lights were on in another room and walked over to see who it was.

“Oh hey Simon, what are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing Gray, what brings you here.”

“I need some space and thought this would be a good place.”

“Well don’t let me stand in your way, unless you want to have some drinks with me?”

“Drinks sound great.”

I walked into his room and sat down on the couch as he pulled a hidden stash of liquor out of his cabinet. For the next couple of hours we sat there drinking and talking about random shit when Simon finally hits me with it.

“Why are you really here Gray, why aren’t you at home with Sarah?”

I sighed looking down at my hands thinking of how to tell him what was going on.

“We fought.”

“Well all couples do that.”

“Yeah but we aren’t even a couple. We are just roommates I guess. I mean fuck man, I am crazy for this girl. God she just makes the world a brighter place, or she used to. I knew she had feelings for Jay, she told me she was confused. How can someone be confused about liking two guys?”

I took another shot before continuing.

“The other day I was looking for her while I was performing and didn’t see her. After I looked for her and when I finally found her she was walking back in with Jay, both of them had a freshly fucked look to them. I didn’t want to believe what I was seeing but later when I got home I saw a bite mark and a hickey on her. Up until earlier tonight she had lied and said she was getting air. She lied up until I told her I knew the truth. She has been fucking Jay but then coming to my bed and sleeping with me, well not sleeping as fucking but just sleeping. We never even got to the point of actually fucking, no I guess that was saved for Jay only. How could I have been so stupid Simon. She wants to move now, says we need space.”

I put my head in my hands while I waited for him to respond. I wasn’t expecting to tell this to anyone but here I am drunk and spilling everything to Jay’s best friend.

“Wow, well I wasn’t expecting that. But man you have to understand you are not stupid and she has every right to be confused. I don’t think you know how charming you and Jay can be, I have sat back for years watching you and Jay charm the panties off hundreds of women. Yes while you tend to stick to one girl longer then Jay, you both are so much alike in the way you work the women. So I can completely understand how she could get confused. Now just hear me out, you might now like what I have to say but you need to hear it.”

“Ok.”

“Let Sarah move, let her have the space that not only she needs but you all need. You all deserve to find happiness in life but with the way things are going neither of you three will find it. So let her move and take the time to get your heads straight. Other than work I really think you shouldn’t be contacting each other. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but she won’t ever figure things out with you two hanging around her. The same goes for you, you won’t ever get things straight with your feelings if you see the two of them together or see her. Now I don’t want you to worry about the times she is in the studio. I will run interference between her and Jay so that she has space from him too. So just relax and take this time to do some soul searching. I mean it Gray don’t be trying to hold on to her, that won’t end well for either of you.”

I nodded my head and he stood up to come patt my shoulder before saying he was taking off. Instead of going back home I decided to just finish off the bottle of soju and sleep at the studio. It wouldn’t be the first time I have slept at the studio, but it would be the first time since Sarah moved in.

Sarah

I woke up to my head feeling like I went 10 rounds with Connor McGregor and when I looked in the mirror I swear my face looked like it too. My eyes were red and swollen along with my face. I closed my eyes at the reflection in the mirror knew I deserved this. I cleaned myself up and took some aspirin before going into the studio. I wasn’t looking forward to this as I was set to go over concept ideas for the MV with Jay.

When I got into the studio I went right up to Jay’s office, I knocked before I walked in to find Jay and Simon sitting on the couch waiting for me.

“Good morning Sarah, I hope you don’t mind me sitting in on this.”

“Not at all Simon.”

I took a seat across from the two guys and we started the meeting going over the ideas I had for the MV. We decided to just go with a basic love story concept, girl meets boy and falls in love. Lots of bright colors and bright lights. Lots of hand holding and long gazes into each other eyes. The dates for the filming were set and a location would be chosen later today and I would be notified of where it would be. I thanked them both and stood to leave. Simon followed me out and asked if he could speak to me for a moment, I nodded and followed him to his office. We walked in and he motioned me to have a seat which I did.

“So last night I was working pretty late and was surprised to find Gray walking into the studio looking pretty upset.”

“Oh so that’s where he went.”

“Yes, he came here. After having some drinks he finally told me what was wrong.”

“He did?”

“Yes, he told me everything.”

I looked down at my hands ashamed that Simon now knew about what was going on between the three of us. I really didn’t want anyone else knowing this, especially Simon.

“I can only imagine what you think of me now. Here I am the American girl who lead both of your friends on. I feel so ashamed right now.”

“I don’t think that, but I can’t say I am happy either. Those two are brothers to me and I am not all that happy that they are both hurting right now. Nor am I happy that said pain is caused by the same reason, their affection for you. But I can understand your feelings, trust me I have seen how these guys are with women.”

“Still doesn’t make this right.”

“I agree it doesn’t, but you moving will help make things better. Gray told me you planed on moving out of his apartment I think that’s the right idea. You all need space to get your head straight. I already told Gray this but you all need to stop any kind of contact outside of work. Take the time to get your heads straight.”

I nodded my head. “Yes, that’s what I was thinking. Could you do me a favor?”

“Depends on what it is?”

“Could you keep the two of them busy? I don’t have anything to do in the studio and my new place is open for me to move in today. If I move while Gray is home he might change his mind and will try and make me stay. Please keep them here so that I can move all my stuff out.”

“I can do that.”

“Thank you Simon, and again I am sorry for the mess I caused.”

“Don’t worry about it Sarah, just fix it.”

I nodded and left the studio. I went straight to Gray’s and started throwing my things into bags and boxed up the rest of my things. Before I called the cab I wrote Gray a letter and left it on the counter. With everything ready I called a cab and got the security guards help with moving the boxes down stairs and loading them into the cab. The ride to the new place was just as long as the bus ride and eventually we pulled up to a decent apartment. I asked the cab driver if he could please help me with the boxes if I paid him extra and he agreed to help me. The driver helped me put everything into the apartment before he left. I stood there in the new place looking everything over. There was a full kitchen and a small dining room table. It opened up into the living room that held a couch. There were two doors in on either side of the couch, one lead to a small bedroom and the other lead to the bathroom. With everything here I took a bus ride this time heading to Jay’s apartment to leave him a letter as well. On the way back I stopped off at the corner to grab some stuff for the apartment. When I got back to the apartment it was dark and I knew the two of them would be heading home soon.

Gray

My whole body was aching and all I wanted to do was go home and take a hot shower. I wasn’t looking forward to talking with Sarah but it had to be done. When I got into the apartment it was dark and quiet, I thought maybe she went to bed early and went to check in on her. I opened the bedroom door to find the room dark and empty.

Maybe she stepped out.

I thought to myself as I went back to the kitchen to take an aspirin before I showered. I was reaching for the pill bottle that was on the counter when I noticed it. A folded piece of paper with my name written on it. All thoughts of the pain in my body was gone from my mind, only replaced with dread as I reached for the paper.

Gray,

I am sorry for doing it this way but I feel it’s for the best. Had I waited for you to get home you would never had let me go. Please don’t think I never cared for you because I do. This mess I put us in isn’t healthy for anyone, that’s why I left. Please don’t ask me where I am, just know I am safe. I talked with Simon and I agree with everything he said. We need time to get our heads straight, so please respect the space I need. I am sorry for everything, please know that. This isn’t a good bye either so don’t think that. We will still see each other at the studio, but let’s keep it processional.

Always,

Sarah

I crunched the paper in my hand before I threw it on the counter and ran back to the room. I opened all her drawers to find them empty, I went to the closet to find all of her clothes gone. The boxes she had in the hall closet were also gone. I stood there in the middle of the hallway hurt and angry. I was angry at her and myself and at Jay. If he had just let her go none of this would have happened. With the anger flowing through my veins like molten lava I grabbed my keys and went to my car pealing out of the parking lot and speeding to the studio. I barely had the car at a stop before throwing it into park and running into the studio. I took the stairs two at a time running up to Jay’s office. I didn’t bother knocking on the door before I burst through them. Jay and Simon were sitting on the couch going over things.

“Gray what’s wrong?”

I walk over to Jay and grab him by his shirt pulling him up, Simon also stood trying to get me to release Jay.

“This is all your fucking fault! If you would have just let her be then this wouldn’t be happening! But no you couldn’t fucking do it! You had to continue playing with her even after you had the fucking snake in your bed. You were the one who pushed her out of your place and it’s you again who is pushing her out of mine! This is all your fucking fault you son of a bitch!”

I pulled a hand back ready to punch him but Simon ran to the other side to get in between the two of us.

“Gray stop this, don’t do something you will regret. Let him go.”

I glared at Jay but did as Simon said and took a couple of steps back.

“What the fuck are you even talking about Gray? Who is gone?”

“Sarah! She is gone, she packed all her shit and left. I know you have been fucking her! I saw the nice little mark you left on her. Why couldn’t you have just left her alone, I would have made her happy. With this back forth thing you have going on it really confused her. Why Jay, why couldn’t you have just left things alone.”

Jay

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, there is no way she would have moved without telling us. I went to walk towards the door but Simon grabbed my arm stopping me.

“Jay don’t.”

“Let me go, I have to go find her. Gray where is she?”

“I don’t know where she is, she told me to not ask either.”

I tried to move again but Simon held on tighter before he pushed me back towards the couch.

“Both of you sit your asses down and listen to me.”

I sat down and Gray took a spot in the chair across from me, I didn’t want to be here to listen to anything. I had to get out of here and find her.

“I get emotions are high for both of you right now but you need to think things through. I know you both have some strong emotions for this girl but you need to know that if you all keep pushing forward with the way things are going no one will get out of this unscathed. Do you really want this issue to ruin your friendship? You two are like brothers, you have been through some rough shit together. But like hell will I sit back and watch you throw all those years away because of a girl. Don’t get me wrong I like her but you two are my priority right now, you guys rank higher than her. I don’t want either of you to try to find her, she will continue coming into work but while she is here it will be a professional relationship only. Nothing other than work will be discussed, as for her MV I will be taking that over. I don’t want either of you involved in her work for the time being. Please don’t let this get out of hand.”

“Fine.”

Gray stood and walked out the door not even giving me a second glance. I looked up at Simon knowing he was right but I didn’t want to lose her.

“Jay I fucking mean it, you try and find her or push for something and I will take my shares and find another studio or something. I won’t let you mess this up. You have worked so fucking hard for this, keep that in mind.”

Simon grabbed his stuff before patting me on the back and walking out of my office letting the door shut. I sat back and closed my eyes feeling the tears well up.

“How did I let it get this far.”

I said out loud to my now empty office.

NEXT CHAPTER

#jay park #jay park scenario #jay park scenarios #jay park imagine #gray #gray scenarios #gray imagine #khh #khh scenario #khh scenarios #khh imagine #jay park angst #loves painful sting #fanfic

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haywire4 · 5 years

Text

uk election thoughts from a dude in the states

not bothering to capitalize any of this, it’s just stuff that i’m typing as i go and i’m only going back to make sure i spelled most of the words right and shit before queuing up a post

i honestly didn’t expect a labour majority, i figured things were going to be stalled about as they were, but that was a pretty hard shift

seriously, i thought that jets loss to the ravens was going to be the biggest loss i saw tonight

the brexit split really created a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation, didn’t it? jezza tries to whip support for it, he probably loses the substantial portions of the electorate worried about the very real damage that could happen to public services and the very fake loss of EU membership prestige.

trying to go for the second referendum, though, that probably alienated a lot of people deeply concerned about the very real issues EU membership causes for countries with names that don’t rhyme with bermany, and assorted jackasses that spend most of their hours concerned with national pride above all else

a lot of people whose jobs rely on calling themselves smart, they’re already taking the chance to tut-tut those who didn’t want labour to be tory-lite, who believe things better than the status quo are possible, would like to try and use this as incontrovertible evidence that leftism is unelectable. please ignore that the wet blanket centrist lib dems have less than 20 seats total and most only got enough votes to successfully split the vote in many areas.

i mean it about the vote splitting thing, i’ve always mocked the people that talk about how dubya “had integrity and honor” while simultaneously cursing the name of ralph nader twenty years on, but the difference between nader and the british lib dems is that those jackasses had quite a visible dent in a lot of demos that probably would have gone labour, same with the brexit party, while nader’s support was built out of people that otherwise would have likely abstained from voting.

with that in mind, sometimes america’s lack of viable third parties seems like more of a blessing than a curse. it’s easy to get hammered by a couple hundred jo swinsons and similar empty suits, less so by the gary johnsons and howard schultzes of the world thinking they’re the next ross perot. would still rather have that ranked choice setup they use down in australia tho.

when contrasted with a prime minister that has written some profoundly antisemetic fiction and his party’s erection of a monument to an MP who virulently hated jews and based her support of hitler off of it, there was sort of a dark humor to the charge that the labour party was uniquely antisemetic. there didn’t seem to be much to it, just the usual protests from people who see palestinians as sub-human but won’t say it, and people who can only view jews as being innately tied to a nationality other than their own. turns out that scaring rich people who own or inhabit high level positions at media companies can get you some really interesting wall-to-wall coverage.

and yes, i did notice that widely circulated list of “suspected labour antisemites“ that was sourced from a group with aryan in the name

that’s a fun preview of what’ll happen if sanders really starts to get traction over here, by the way. you might say, “surely they wouldn’t try to paint a jewish man who lost much of his family in the holocaust as an antisemite, especially compared to a president that’s straight up signing executive orders to declare jews as their own separate nationality“ but the federalist is already dipping their toes into such matters, and many right wing talking points seem to percolate from well funded places like that these days.

also, the people that want to say that a guy who straight up got arrested for protesting during the sixties american civil rights movement doesn’t care about the black community as biden or tiny pete will eat that shit up, and comcast and GE owned outlets ain’t gonna be above saying it in more hushed tones.

apparently corbyn is stepping down as labour leader. it’s been lost to time (or i’m too dumb to remember who said it), but i remember someone saying like, “if it had been sanders taking that kind of devastating loss in 2016, i would honestly have to re-evaluate my politics, figure out i should be playing a role in all of this, if i’m still in touch.“ after three years of various clinton-worlders on doggedly insisting that they are still the only ones that understand how to win elections, corbyn having the guts to step down and say “i might not be the right person to be the face of this movement at this time“ is a refreshing, if sobering example of humility.

big feather in your cap if you’re one to talk about the limits of electoralism, you shouldn’t treat it as an “i told you so” moment, but i guess you did there. hope you have a good backup plan, there might be a good time for it soon

there was a little bit of talk from non-mainstream sources about how american trade deals were going to encourage heavy privatization of the NHS, most of which seemed to be covered up by the insistence of covering the “possibility” (as in bullshit idea) that a story about a hospital hobbled by tory/right wing labour budget cuts running out of beds and forcing patients onto the floor was made up by the parents of a patient. a lot of people asking what copays and deductibles are over in the isles today, even if it’s not going to happen overnight.

sometimes i think a little too much about the possibility of a populace that’s a combination of too beaten down and distracted to worry about the public good and creeping austerity, and times like this really remind you of the necessity of extensive public organizing in your community

another blessing in disguise, i hear a lot about how americans don’t watch the news, but looking at how a lot of corporate news sources twist themselves in knots to look impartial while trying to convince well-meaning individuals that what they’re seeing in front of them in regards to the right wing isn’t real, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. is someone getting their info from NUMTOT or random facebook pages dedicated to cropping and watermarking stolen videos really worse then getting it from ABC or FOX? prolly not tbh

in reality, whatever remains of the uk and eu in 2160 is probably still going to be kicking the can on brexit, basically just turning it into some arcane ceremony whose purpose has been long forgotten. fun!

irish reunification and scottish independence talks sound like they’re going to get real fun now, but i’ll admit i don’t know a lot about that stuff except for the dup essentially wanting the troubles 2.0 in exchange for a coalition with the tories and the last scottish thing getting rejected based on promises of staying in the EU

australia is not the UK but now is a better time than ever to say that fairy bread might be the worst food i’ve ever heard of, anyway peace out, never forget that time that david cameron fucked a dead pig to get into whatever the brit version of skull and bones is

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sempiternalsandpitturtle · 5 years

Text

How to create a foolproof content optimisation strategy

If something on your car starts making funny sounds, you don’t scrap it and buy an entirely new one. You take it to a mechanic, fix the problem and go on living your life.

The same logic applies to your content marketing.

If a blog post isn’t generating the shares and traffic you were hoping for, take another stab at it. If a whitepaper didn’t quite land with your intended audience, correct your mistakes and move forward.

That’s the essence of content optimisation. Tweak, adjust and update your marketing materials for maximum, relevant results. You don’t have to create brand-new content from scratch and hope for the moon. Instead, modify existing content to perform even better over the long term. You know what works and what doesn’t – now follow the data.

What is a content optimisation strategy?

A content optimisation strategy is the practice of making your content as relevant and results-driven as possible. This includes using high-value keywords, updating metadata, checking technical SEO, testing user experience and identifying audience intent.

Why optimise?

In a consumer economy, we’re used to throwing out phones and getting new ones every few years. Clothes are discarded and replaced after being worn just a handful of times. This is all by design.

Businesses can often lose sight of the "big picture" and leave one crucial online touchpoint behind: their website. Here's what it takes to step up your website #marketing efforts and implement a strong strategy for 2019. https://t.co/v1JvL5Zvjw

— Castleford Media (@castlefordmedia) June 25, 2019

Physical products are meant to fail. It’s called planned obsolescence. Companies make products with distinct defects so that, in due time, they break down and we are forced to purchase updated products.

But in the digital world, there’s effectively no timetable on effectiveness. Webpages can live forever. Blog posts written 12 months ago could still be circulating and ranking 12 months from now. That’s why you need to make your content count – today, tomorrow and every day after.

Optimised content ensures your brand image doesn’t go stale. It keeps your marketing from losing its value. It keeps you in touch with your audience – even as it changes.

What to optimise and what to leave alone

Content optimisation entails a number of different techniques and tactics, but the goal ultimately remains the same: maximise your reach and convert users.

Here’s a quick breakdown of optimisation types:

Search engine optimisation: Making webpages crawlable and indexable by search engines. This includes various on-page, off-page and technical factors.

Conversion rate optimisation: Making calls-to-action and other forms of conversion triggers as seamless and successful as possible.

User experience optimisation: Making the entire experience of consuming content across any device, browser or medium enjoyable. This is especially key for mobile devices, tablets and voice search assistants.

On-SERP optimisation: Making the organic and paid listings on search engine results pages (SERP) stand out from others to entice more clicks and achieve greater visibility. This includes structured data markup for organic and greater ad relevance for paid.

On-page optimisation: Making content on a given webpage keyword-targeted, scannable and media-rich for ideal search engine and human experience. This includes anchor text, meta descriptions, title tags, hyperlinks, imagery and copy.

Underlying each of these methods is content. Content fuels campaigns. It builds brands. It creates revenue.

That’s what makes optimised content incredibly valuable. It’s required throughout the entire customer lifecycle, at every stage of the sales funnel, at every online touchpoint.

So moving more of your resources toward optimisation makes sense no matter how you look at it. But then comes the question of knowing whether something is already good as-is versus what absolutely needs to be overhauled. As Founder of SEO.London puts it: “Here is the most important part: prioritisation.”

That’s where metrics come in:

Metrics to look at

For existing content that lives on the web, like blog posts, there are a number of performance metrics that will clue you into whether it’s worth your time to optimise. In some cases, you may rank on Page 7 of Google for a semantic keyword you care nothing about. In other cases, you may be on the cusp of Page 1 for a commercial-intent keyword. Based on these scenarios, you can see for yourself where your resources should be spent.

Here are a few KPIs to weigh against your own business goals:

Current ranking position

Where does your content rank in search engines? Do you think it would be easy to quickly optimise an article to jump up a few positions? Would it be beneficial to your company’s revenue to get more clicks on that specific article?

We often prioritise articles that already rank on Page 1 or 2. These pages stand the chance of stealing more traffic as they inch upward in SERPs. Because 92% of all clicks occur on Page 1, that’s where you need to be. That’s where the windfalls of optimisation come into play.

Keyword difficulty

How competitive is the keyword you are targeting? Do well-established global brands already dominate that search term? Are there plenty of avenues to more holistically tackle a topic based on a singular keyword? While there are no hard and fast rules on what makes a keyword difficulty score (on a 1-100 scale) – it depends on the Domain Authority of your site and your competitors’ sites – we try to aim for 40 or lower. Check SEMrush, Ahrefs, Moz or really any SEO tool to get this info.

SERP crowding

Is the SERP landscape even conducive to ranking for a keyword? By this we mean, are there several paid ads running at the top of the page? Are there one or more Featured Snippets displaying already? How many organic listings actually appear above the fold?

If a term is too competitive – making the SERP too crowded visually – searchers may never see your page regardless of how much you optimise it. Spend your time elsewhere.

Search volume

As a baseline keyword research metric, search volume tells you whether you’re picking valuable search terms to target. “Valuable” in this case refers to pure quantity. Going a step further, a high search volume of, say, 10,000 searches per month (SPM) may be too high level and vague for your audience. A lower search volume of 50 SPM for a long-tail keyword may be more in your ballpark. As search volume declines, search intent tends to rise, so the minimal users querying your keyword may be highly engaged and active buyers needing your services.

Click-through rate

The number of clicks you receive divided by the number of times your page appeared in SERPs is your click-through rate (CTR). So if your blog ranks on Page 1 but is only receiving a very small share of overall Page-1 clicks, your CTR would be paltry. By boosting CTR even just a few percentage points, you can increase your pageviews and potential conversions.

Dwell time

If someone clicks on your page, but then clicks back to a SERP, the time that elapsed is your dwell time. For example, if I stay on your page for just 2 seconds because you clearly didn’t provide me the information I needed, I would immediately hit the back button and choose a search result that better fits my needs. A low dwell time is measured and weighed by Google’s Rankbrain algorithm, and it will negatively impact how your pages are ranked. On the other hand, if I stay on your page for 12 minutes before I hit the back button, chances are your page did a pretty good job of matching my needs, and Google will be more likely to uprank your content.

With these factors in mind, assess which pieces of content would be best served by optimisation. A best practice is to first choose content that performs well or well enough. Then make it a little better. There is much more to be gained from bumping up your organic ranking from position 5 to position 2 than there is from jumping from Page 12 to Page 3. Marketing power is concentrated at the very, very top of SERPs.

We're talking through what website features impact #SEO, why your site needs to be mobile friendly & the tools you can use to squeeze the most out of your company’s corner of the internet. These quick tips could help save your organic rankings. https://t.co/ahvha8ljw0

— Castleford Media (@castlefordmedia) June 20, 2019

Content optimisation starter checklist

The ideal blog to optimise would be one that already has:

Decent search volume.

Low-ish keyword difficulty.

Low SERP crowding.

Steady click rates.

If it ranks on Page 1 or 2 even better.

From there, you may need to zoom out a bit. Look at the larger marketing picture and your overall goals. Sometimes patterns and data points that are more subjective impact your content creation and optimisation. These things might be seasonality, timeliness, new industry disruptions, shifting brand recognition, audience expertise and upcoming campaigns – all of which aren’t as scientific and measurable as we sometimes hope. But they’re still important for determining how and when to optimise content.

Below is a quick checklist for seeing how your updated content can be absolutely on point:

Target keyword

You may need to target a less-competitive term, which might necessitate restructuring some of your copy and shifting the focus of the content in a new direction. Again, choose keywords and phrases that have enough upside.

Reader intent

From the time your article was originally created to now, has your audience changed? What do they expect when they click on your post? Are they more knowledgeable in some areas, but lack info in others? At a fundamental level you need to know whether your target audience for this specific article is:

Just wanting to learn more.

Hoping to compare your brand / services to others.

Seeking to be connected to a salesperson after a few engagements.

Knowing which category your readers fall into will help you craft the focus, tone and subtopics of your optimised content.

Funnel position

Will your content aid in the buyer journey, and at which stage?

Does your blog post enable sales or upsells? Does it funnel traffic to product pages? Does it have a hard CTA with conversion quotas? Does it lead to a gated asset? Is it meant for social media and top-of-funnel engagement?

Your answers will help you firmly place your article into your marketing funnel so that it can be best distributed and promoted to the right audiences.

Asset format

Just because you originally wrote a 600-word blog post doesn’t mean your optimised version has to fit those same parameters. You can repurpose it into an eBook, a whitepaper, a landing page, a video or just a longer, more in-depth evergreen article. The options are quite customisable.

The precise format of your newly optimised content will be determined by its role in the buyer journey and your readers’ preferred content types. If your goal is organic ranking, then a blog post is the way to go. If it’s facilitating sales, a landing page or gated asset may be preferable.

Campaign relevance

What’s the overarching narrative you’re promoting in the upcoming quarter? Through which channels are you distributing content? Do you have a near-term quota you have to hit?

These questions will greenlight whether it makes sense to optimise something right now or further down the road. The key is to ensure what you’re optimising syncs with your concurrent campaigns – if not, put it on the backburner for the time being.

Connect your re-ops to business opps

Even if you optimise a blog post, you’ll likely have to do so once more (or twice more!) in the future. It’s basically a never-ending process to better capture audience attention. And because the goalposts of search engines move, your content should be moving with them.

Re-optimising content several times over allows you to align with your company’s larger business objectives. If your CEO wants to grow the customer base 20% in the next two months, you can identify bottom-of-funnel content that could help achieve this goal and then optimise it to more closely match what prospects are seeking.

If Q4 tends to be a busy time for your business, optimising blog posts with holiday, end-of-year, seasonal keyphrases can help support higher organic visibility during this time frame. As you begin to understand the ebbs and flows of your online audience – and your business – you can optimise accordingly so that you’re maximising every possible opportunity as it arises.

Does it work?

Yes, very much so.

After your optimised content is published through your content management system, you can run a “Fetch as Google” via your Google Search Console. This tool effectively force-indexes your updated page so that you get an immediate idea of where your page will be indexed in SERPs. Doing so allows you to see ranking results upfront rather than having to wait days or weeks for Google to naturally crawl and re-index your page.

Our content optimisation strategy has redefined how we approach content marketing at large. Here’s a look at the success we saw over an 8-month period last year:

70% increase in the number of product pages ranking on Page 1.

84% increase in total ranking keywords across our domain.

46% increase in site traffic.

Optimisation is for everyone.

from http://bit.ly/2YRbTuB

#content marketing

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