#How did he miss that Jason was involved with Jazz in the first place???

[spacedace]

@proshipper-on-ship​ thank you for the Dick & Dan idea you added to my other post, please enjoy some of the fall out your comment resulted in haha

“So,” Bruce tried, looking hesitantly pleased at the surprisingly light atmosphere around the table. “Anything new and exciting going on with anyone?”

There was a smattering of answers from around the table. Jason didn’t offer anything - which wasn’t surprising, that he was even there and largely not starting a fight was more than enough as far as Dick was concerned - but with some ribbing from Steph, Tim eventually admitted to finally asking that boy he’d been interested in out. Dick joined in on teasing his little brother - and even Jay gave, for him, some gentle ribbing over finally getting the balls to do something, eh Timberland? - while very carefully avoiding mentioning his own sorta-kinda thing with Dan in Bludhaven. He’d deal with his siblings making him miserable and embarrassed over it all when he actually scored a date with him thanks very much.

Things were going good.

And then Damian cleared his throat, looking imperious and uninterested at the same time as he waited for everyone to turn to look at him.

“I have an announcement on an alteration to my personal life.” He declared, chin up and looking like he was already over this whole family-bonding-time thing, which was fair. Damian had gotten better over the years, but he was still not exactly the cute and cuddly little brother. Dick still had the scar from the last time he tried to hug Dami without warning a year ago and got stabbed for the effort. Still, he was sharing, willingly even! That’s progress!

At the head of the table Bruce tilted his head, looking as cautiously hopeful as Dick felt over the youngest Wayne actually offering to share something personal. “Have you decided on what college you want to go to then?”

“No.” Dami dismissed easily, without more than a glance in Bruce’s direction. “Night and I have decided to take some time to travel before continuing any further schooling.”

Huh, honestly, Dick was kinda surprised. With how much of a perfectionist Dami was, he’d thought he’d throw himself into college with the same ferocious, competitive drive he did everything else. But then again, if Elle Nightingale was going to be taking a gap year or two, it wasn’t as if it was that much of a surprise that Dami would go and join her.

The two gremlins had been practically inseparable since they were twelve and discovered a shared love of stabbing people and adopting every animal they see. If Dami’s best friend was going to go gallivanting across the world like she always dreamed of doing, Dick couldn’t actually be that  surprised that Dami would be going with her.

Dick took a sip of his drink as Dami opened his mouth to continue with what was probably going to be to most people the world’s most harrowing game of “how many incredibly dangerous animals can we see before we end up dead on our gap year” that the two demons were undoubtedly planning.

He regretted taking that sip almost immediately as Damian said, “Night and I took our marital vows yesterday. She sends her regrets that she was unable to join us for family dinner tonight.”

Predictably, the room broke out into utter chaos.

Dick choked on his drink, spraying across the table and splattering Babs with a shower of wine. She didn’t even seem to notice, dropping her own glass as she snapped her head over to stare at Damian, the sound of breaking glass and a deep red stain pooling across the table following as she did. At the end of the table, Jay made a noise like a dying goose as the samosa he’d just popped in his mouth threatened to kill him. Cass, perhaps the most outwardly calm at the proclamation, only stared with wide eyes at her younger brother as she hit Jason on the back in an attempt to make sure he didn’t die.

Dick could practically hear the old shrieking AOL dial up noise that was Tim’s brain attempting to process what his little brother had just said, while sitting next to him Steph gave a small shriek of you what? Duke’s head was on a swivel, eyes darting from Damian, to another family member, to Damian and back again as if unsure who to even look at in the moment.

Bruce just…stared, frozen in place, face caught in the most open look of shock Dick thinks the man has ever shown in his life.

---

Damian sniffed and cast a caustic look towards - of all people - Jason, “Unlike some people, I share my good news with the family in a timely manner.”

Jay sputtered, “You know what, fuck you! Fine, you want me to share the news?” Jay snapped his head towards the rest of them. “Jazz is pregnant, baby is due next month on the sixth. Baby shower’s next weekend at Robinson Park, show up or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck.”

Or maybe he was just going to try to kill them with a heart attack.

“What the fuck?!”

“Language!”

“Who the fuck is Jazz?!”

“Language!”

“Night’s elder sister and guardian, Drake, keep up. You should know this, you’re dating her brother.”

“I’m what?”

“And Grayson is having flirtations with her other brother.”

“Dan is Elle’s older brother? Wait - how do you know about that?”

“Todd and I are in the Nightingale family group chat. We have endured far too much waxing poet about your posterior over the past months.”

“Why do they all have variations of the same name? Who gives all their children the same name?”

“He likes my ass?”

“Oh my god, bigger picture Dick, focus.”

“Seriously, do they all have the same name outside of the older sister? I feel like we need to acknowledge they all have the same name.”

“Can we go back to the fact that Damian got married? To Elle? Yesterday? How did you even do that without anyone knowing?

“Dr. Nightingale is a notary.”

“...Dr. Nightingale as in the woman Bruce is investigating Dr. Nightingale?”

“Okay but the name thing? Please tell me you’re not naming the baby some variation of the name Daniel.”

“If the gremlins get their way it will be. Do you know how many lists we’ve made that they keep sabotaging?”

“So you have Dan’s number? Could you give it to me?”

“Jesus Christ, Dick I’m begging you.”

“Why did you guys even get married?”

“For the diplomatic immunity.”

“You don’t have diplomatic immunity.”

“I do now.”

“What does that mean?”

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

Do Angels giggle?

Warning: Mentioned death of multiple people, a teeny tiny bit of angst, swearing, but otherwise you should be fine Word count: 4k (sis snapped again)(I should really stop doing this tbh) Summary: A rumor of an angel kidnapping criminals and leads them to a path of justice and Jason is on the suspects track. He hasn’t expected to be caught and he surely hasn’t expected what met him there...

This was requested by @middevil465​: 'Babe did you fall from heaven bc you seem to be a chaotic ever shifting sphere of eyes & wings making a sound not of this earth and I’m kind of hoping God sent you because this is terrifying' with jason x reader

Jason really didn't plan on this to happen. He didn't plan on getting caught while spying on the current suspect in a case of criminals disappearing only to re-appear with no memory of what happened and babbling of being lead to a better life by an angel. And he certainly didn't plan to end up in a warehouse that was decorated with a clearly religious altar and other things that heavily reminded him of the church. The only thing that wasn't church-y was the fact that he was tied to a - honestly not uncomfortable - chair in front of the altar. The worst fact was that he, too, couldn't remember how he ended up here. He had some flashes of memories, about how Bruce assigned him to the case, about how he found a man that all the criminals who found themselves 'victim' had met sometime before their disappearance and how he'd found and followed him before he blacked out.

And now he was here. He wasn't really afraid as much as he was concerned and curious about what was going to happen next. Bruce could easily track him as soon as he noticed he wasn't answering so there was also not much reason to try to escape before he knew what was going on here or if he was in any serious danger. Jason wasn't sure what to expect. Tortue, drugging, brainwashing? He knew the man must have some kind of secret weapon that made him able to re-write these criminals to his liking, but he wasn't quite sure why. Everyone in the cave had different theories. Bruce and Dick thought that he maybe got information about their 'businesses', deleted the memory and sold the info, Damian and (surprisingly enough) Tim thought that the criminals had been involved in something bigger, all of them involved somehow, and the person (or people) who hunted them down and changed their memories and life choices, were on a hunt for information. Steph and Cass had agreed that it was a cult or a conspiracy and Barbara had said that she wouldn't make any theories just yet, or rather not reveal hers. Jason had a more sinister thought though. He knew about the criminal world better than most others in his family, once having been a big part of it too, and he thought that whoever was able to do this, was slowly building an empire, first taking out smaller criminals, snitches and errand boys, maybe as to test their methods, before going for the big fish and re-writing them to take over their territory. It was honestly a good plan, but the fam wasn't really happy about it. Having an enemy that could delete and rewrite memories and demeanours could be a real threat. That was why Jason needed to find out how they did it. But he didn't see anything in the warehouse room that would implicate what they used for their plan, only all that church stuff, and Jason considered that it was probably something to harden the illusion that it was an angel who showed them the 'light'. 

"I've seen thou have been awakened, man in the blooded hood," a male voice echoed through the large space and bounced off the walls. The man he had followed stepped in front of him in a robe that reminded him of a monk. "It's crimson, bitch," Jason snarkily responded and couldn't help the smirk on his face, but it didn't seem to even slightly faze him. "Many have found the devil in their words in this city, but we, the church of hope and new ways, have made it our mission to bring thou, wrongdoers, to a path of justice and good, to a path of the angel." So Cass and Stephanie were right after all? A cult, really? "So that's all very noble and all, at least in theory, but ya know, I'm kinda on your side. With hunting and jailing criminals and all that jazz." "Thou words are full of sin that thou not even recognize, but don't fret, we will free you of them, free you of the devil within and bring you on a path of belief and light, we will bring thou to face with the angel that hath shown us the way too." Now that was next-level crazy, Jason thought and rolled his eyes under his still worn helmet. "Well, knock yourself out," he sighed and leaned back in the chair. Seemingly listening to Jason, the man disappeared through a door and suddenly all the lights in the room went out, leaving Jason in complete darkness, unable to turn on the night vision in his helmet. He heard another door on the other side opening and light steps echoed through the room, but whoever came in didn't make any other sounds but that. Then he was blinded by the brightest light he had most likely ever seen and what his eyes saw when the light simmered down a bit and he got used to the brightness made him freeze to the core. The words that left his mouth next were the result of habit more than thought, but he said them nonetheless: "Babe did you fall from heaven because you seem to be a chaotic ever-shifting sphere of eyes and wings making a sound not of this earth and I'm kind of hoping God sent you because this is terrifying." He wasn't wrong though. In front of him was, in fact, actually an ever-shifting sphere of eyes and wings that was making sounds that were clearly not human, neither anything that he had ever heard off-world and even though Jason was by no means religious, he had heard enough about how the angels in the bible were described to identify this thing in front of him as an angel. Suddenly the ever so brave, fearless and cocky Jason Todd stared at that being in front of him and his hidden face was drawn by fear and terror. He could deal with torture and pain, he could deal with technology and drugs, but he couldn't deal with whatever would be happening next. What would be happening next? Well, whatever it was that he expected, it sure as hell wasn't what happened. The sphere that he feared more than he had feared anything in the last years started to giggle. GIGGLE! Do Angel's even giggle? How would I ever know if angels giggle? The glow died down and the shifting intensified, the eyes were closing and drawing together, the wings merging too until there was only one pair left and the sphere turned into a different form, something longer and more humanly shaped, until it did a final change and turned into a girl. And what a girl she was. Jason's breath was stolen by her and the atmosphere surrounding her. She looked stunning in every sense of the word, from the Y/S/C skin that was basically glowing with angelic shine, her hair that was somehow looking like a halo even though it was nothing like one and her face that seemed to be sculptured by whoever created this hellhole called life themselves. And don't let him get started on the pair off wings that she was still sporting on her back. It was quite honestly gigantic. So big that its lowest part was reaching the floor and the highest part was still a few inches higher than her head. He could imagine that they would fill out the entire room if she was to stretch them out and the thought alone made him somewhat fuzzy in his head. He wished he could describe their colour, but he was sure that it was none of the ones he had ever seen on any planet, ever, he wasn't even sure if his eyes should be humanly able to comprehend the colour and yet there he sat looking at them. He was so impressed by these celestial limbs that he didn't even notice the fact that the girl was, in fact, completely naked. But even if he'd notice it, he wouldn't have seen her body as something sexual. The way she was moving like it was completely natural would more likely make him feel ridiculous for ever thinking of a naked body as something as intimate. And then her voice. Her voice was even more divine than anything else, making his whole body tense up and relax simultaneously. "You are full of darkness, but your darkness is unlike anything else they have shown me," she stated matter-of-factly and she came close to him, rounding him a few times with curiosity in her eyes, "And not just your insides are different than the ones they showed me, your head seems to have a sort of protective shell, how magnificent." Is she talking about my helmet? Does she think it is a part of me? "Uhm, Miss Angel, that isn't a part of my body, it's removable," he said, surprised that he was even  able to talk with his heart basically having stopped beating. Her eyes widened in child-like wonder and she kneeled down in front of him, her wings spreading out slightly beside her to accommodate the change in height. "Would it be okay if I were to take it off?" she asked in innocence that Jason has quite honestly never seen before. "Uhm, sure," Jason answered, completely having forgotten the whole reason that he was here in the first place.   Her delicate hands slowly found their way to were his helmet laid over his ears and she looked into the general direction of were his eyes were, her Y/E/C orbs seemingly shifting colour every time she moved even an inch. "I'll try to be careful," she hummed and started trying to get it off, changing her tactic ever so often when she noticed that it wasn't working, but instead of telling her what to do, Jason just looked at the angel and couldn't find any words. Finally, after about two minutes, she managed to pull it off and carefully laid it down beside the chair, before finally leading her gaze to his now, except for the domino mask, uncovered face. She didn't say anything, just bringing her hands up to his face and tracing it, including every scar, no matter how little, and every edge. Even though he had been in awe before, now he could almost comprehend why the criminals changed their ways, hell, at that moment he'd burn the city down without hesitation if she'd asked for it. Finally, her fingers wandered over the edges of his mask and when he gave her a small nod of consent, she somehow managed to peel it off and free his eyes for her to see. He didn't mind that she now knew what he looked like, that she could now identify him, but to be honest, he didn't think much about it, too caught up in that moment and that moment only. Their eyes met in a moment of complete silence whit the only sound present in Jason's head was the pounding of his heart and the rushing of his blood. "You are really unlike the others aren't you?" her voice broke that moment, but he somehow knew that he wasn't expected to answer. For a few heartbeats, the two off them stayed in place, before the angel ruffled her feathers, the sound echoing through the warehouse, like dozens of birds flying away. She raised back to her full size, her wings folding back to where they had originally been. "Tell me, why do my saviours want me to bring you to the light? I can see that it is already in you, it may be clouded and darkened, but it is there," she asked him and her hand was cupping his cheek in an act that seemed unnoticed by herself as if she was doing it unconsciously. Jason wasn't quite sure how to respond to that question, but he noticed something else in what she said, something that formed confusion in him. "Your saviours? Shouldn't it be the other way around?" "How do you mean that?" the angel asked with honest naive confusion written over her face as she cocked her head to the side and folded her hand in front of her bare stomach. "Well, uh, I'm no expert by any means, but you're an angel right?" She nodded but kept quiet as if that question didn't give her a clue as to what he meant. "Uhm... Angels are creatures sent by God and...uhm...they are over humans, right? So how is that guy and whoever he works with your saviour? Is he Jesus or something?" What she answered was something he didn't even remotely expect. "Who?" "Jesus? Your Boss's son? God sent messiah to free all humans? Allegedly forgave us for our sins and got killed for that?" Jason rambled and tried to count down everything he still remembered. The angle put her hand in front of her mouth in shock at his words. "That sounds horrible, is he okay?" she asked in a tone that made it pretty clear to Jason that she did, first of all, not know who Jesus was, and second, had no idea what killing actually meant. "Uhm, sure, he's great, somewhere up there with his dad, I guess," Jason just shrugged, not really caring about that topic anymore and more focusing on all the facts about her being an angel that didn't add up. "Can you tell me about yourself?" he just boldly asked her, but it didn't seem to phase her at all, in fact, she brightened up at the possibility to tell him about her. "Uhm, I can't tell you much, but I was saved by the church of hope and new ways when they found me after what they called a miracle, they took care of me and explained to me that I was sent to them to be their tool to re-shape the world," she explained with a somewhat proud undertone, but Jason's feeling got cemented. The feeling that she had actually no idea what was going on around her and what she was used to do, and the feeling that she may not really be the sort of angel he, and seemingly she, believed she was. "Re-shape the world?" he investigated further, a small voice muttering theories in the back of his head. "Mhm," she nodded and her right wing folded itself slightly in front of her as if she was nervous or shy, "They bring men who are filled with darkness and they have me look into them, look if they have light and make me watch their mind, then they have told me to bring them into the sun, I show them the way that they tell me is right, make them believe in the church." Her words were slightly wary and Jason could recognize the doubt in them. She wasn't doing this voluntarily... "Do you want to do that?" he asked to clarify things for himself, and maybe also her. Her eyes wandered to the door the mock-monk had disappeared in and Jason could have sworn he saw something like fear in them. "I- Uhm- Yes," she nodded, but couldn't look at the man in front of her, she had almost turned her whole body away from him. "I don't believe you." "Why?" her voice wasn't as childish and curious and innocent anymore, it was small and fragile. "I'm not sure, but I think they are lying to you, I think you aren't an angel. I mean, you're sure as hell no human, but you're not an angel, at least not one in the...uhm..traditional sense." This seemed to gain her attention in a way that had her turning around again and made her take a step towards him. "Do you really think so? Because... I have tried to tell them, but they said no to all my questions, they told me that I am the tool for the church, that that is my only task and that I would be lost without them, but I can see it in them too. The darkness, they tell me to turn into light, is in them too, but they don't let me change it, they tell me I must see something that isn't there... And not only that... I have memories, memories of the Miracle. I see flashes of other people, people that make my heartache, and flashes of a building, one that looked like this room here on the inside. "And then there are other flashes, flashes I have at nights when I'm resting, there are loud noises and heat is licking at my skin, at my back, at my whole body, and there are so many screams." She seemingly didn't find the connection between those memories, but Jason sure as hell did. It was mainly a theory at that point, but he believed that she had been at church with her family when it burned down, maybe there was magic involved or she had the meta-gen inside her, but while her family burned she must have turned into the angel she was now, losing most of her memory in the process. The people that must have found her and figured out of the great powers she had, had decided to use her for their own sinister plans and she was none the wiser, Jason couldn't know if she had always been that naive and innocent, but she was now and, even though he had only known her for a matter of maybe half an hour, she had grown on him if he was being honest. "Can you see into other people's heads? Can you read other people's memories too?" he asked, a small plan forming in his mind. She looked at him in thought, but she seemingly was somewhat intrigued. "I believe so, I have only done it one or two times." "Read my mind, read my memories," he almost commanded, but she was taken off for other reasons. "Why would you want me to do that? My saviours tell me that it isn't my place to do so..." "I know this is confusing and what you will see will shock you, but I hope you will be able to trust me after that, trust me to help you, get you out of here." The prospect of being away from her 'saviours' seemed to make her interested, but there was something else that she had to know beforehand. "Will you stay with me? Will you take me with you? I can't be alone, I don't know where to go, what to do, I can't- don't think that I can survive all alone," she looked away and he could see the fear and pain, of not knowing what the future would hold in her whole demeanour, and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms, but the restraints that were still binding him to the chair were keeping him from doing so. "If you don't want to be, you won't be alone, I will take you with me, we will go through this together, okay?" "Okay," she smiled slightly and came to him, her hands hovering over the rope around his chest and, in a for Jason surprising turn of event, her palms started glowing and the rope basically disintegrated leaving him free to stand up, having to physically restrain himself from holding her. "This won't be happening to me too?" he asked gesturing to what was still left off the rope. And she giggled again. God, he had almost forgotten how heavenly that giggle was. "No, I don't think it will," she said in a tone as if she was honestly questioning her statement, but before he could say anything about it her hands found themselves on the sides of his temple and the last thing that echoed through the room before the angel fell unconscious in his arms was her scream.

When the angel woke up she felt utterly exhausted. She had seen everything that had ever happened in Jason's life, including his death and every time he had killed, and she had felt it like she was it who experienced it. It had literally drained her, but Jason was correct, as she woke up again, she trusted him with her life and more. She knew him now. Possibly better than anyone else in the world. And not only that, when her eyes opened he was the first thing she saw. She was laying in his lap, something that was astounding enough considering the giant wings that were spread out beside her and partly over Jason, and somewhere along her time of being in his memories he had taken off his brown leather jacket and had put it on her and zipped it up, keeping the, in normal standards, intimate parts of her body hidden from sight. What the angel couldn't see were the bodies of the people who had, in Jason's opinion, used you for the past few months that were stacked in the backroom and, if he was lucky, not dead. "Sorry you had to see this, but I wanted for you to be able to completely trust me," Jason whispered, his hands caressing through her hands. "It's okay, I understand," she hummed back and they both knew that she meant more than just the statement about him wanting her to trust him. "Can we leave now?" "Of course," he smiled and helped her up, having been made aware earlier when she passed out that her wings added more to her body weight than he had anticipated, but that was to expect, they were robust and spread out almost twice as big as Jason in width. The angel, who Jason really needed to find a name for, had the wing on the side opposite of where Jason stood beside her, drawn in, but the one that was on his side was spread out behind him like a shield, curling around him slightly, but he just smiled and slightly shook his head at that. He honestly really didn't know what it was about the girl, his angel, or the whole situation itself, but a really small part of him wanted to believe that maybe there was something like a bigger picture, maybe not necessarily a god, but something that had brought them together, something that had wanted to make him know that the two of them knowing each other was meant to be.

[signor-signor]

Trending 27th - January 2020

What have been your efforts in the campaign for SaveWOY and what are your upcoming plans to save WOY? Now this is a question worth answering!

In the past, I made a little list of the things I did to support SaveWOY and bring awareness to Wander Over Yonder’s existence and its third season plans. Since then, I’ve done a whole lot more from hand-drawn art to more intricate art. Some of them are almost as special as that signed poster @peepsqueak got from the WOY crew as a token of their gratitude.

Here’s an updated list of everything I did for SaveWOY so far:

Attended the SaveWOY picnic at Griffith Park, where I got to sign a banner.

Pointed out various higher-ups involved in the business of Disney television.

Sent several letters to the higher-ups, some of which had envelopes with an image of the downed space pod taped to them.

Started a weekly Twitter post series, SaveWOY Thought of the Week.

Made Lite-Brite art of Wander and Lord Hater, which Craig McCracken and Francisco Angones liked.

Attended D23 2017 with an Operation: FORCE drawing of Hater, a colored page of Wander and Sylvia and a few facts about WOY, and an orange pen with a green hat (I got the hat from the aforementioned picnic) - there, I signed a bench with Wander and the phrase, “Never hurts to help.”

Signed my name, drew Wander (and my own character, Jacken DeBox), and wrote, “Happiest place in outer space!” on the highest beam for Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge.

Wrote a letter (and drew Wander) for the victims of the Las Vegas tragedy with the message, “The darkest times call for the sunniest smiles!”

Got Craig to reveal the name of the ship (said to play a BIG part in S3, made a cameo in Future-Worm) when I commented that we’d have to figure out the name - his response: “The ship is called The Star Nomad.”

Wrote a couple of cards to two Disney higher-ups with the message, “A little nice makes naughty think twice!”

Drew Dominator in a situation that might take place several seconds after she passes the downed space pod, just in time for Noël Wells’s B-day.

Made the Star Nomad with LEGO Digital Designer.

Made three images in the style of the original Star Wars trilogy VHS set.

Posted 50 WOYS3PredictionPolls on Twitter.

Made an image of “The First 5 Years” with over 140 individuals (including the question marks for 3 new mains and 2 new regulars - I still want to know what they look like!) and one cleverly made Hidden Mickey.

Shared WOY-related images from my 1st 5 Years fan art on Twitter acknowledging the B-days of most of the voice actors (Charlie Adler, Kevin Michael Richardson, Ken Marino, Josh Sussman, H. Michael Croner, James Adomian, Jason Ritter, and Piotr Michael clearly noticed).

Typed a summary of how I think the S3 premiere would go.

Typed lyrics to “Let’s Go Soarin’ and Explorin’,” a song from my aforementioned S3 premiere summary. Wouldn’t it be great if Andy Bean used it?

Made a microgame with WarioWare: D.I.Y. where the player has to spin the fan to make the Star Nomad fly. Part of a chorus from “Let’s Go Soarin’ and Explorin’” included.

Started FanCharacterFriday on Twitter - more Tumblr users seem to like Dr. Otmar Vunderbar.

Made a short comic page of Lord Hater trying to break out of the DTVA vault plus a sly reminder that Disney owns the rights to WOY.

Shared a list of potential episode titles for S3.

Made an actual LEGO Star Nomad based on the model made with LDD. Hopefully, those who worked on WOY have noticed. In case you missed it, here’s a picture...

Now, the ideas I have in mind for further boosting support for the campaign. I may not be able to do most of them myself, but they are certainly for everyone’s consideration.

Provide updated information of higher-ups (if any).

As soon as we find out what Kid Cosmic looks like, expect fan art of him saying, “Watch my show and tell your friends so we’ll make that Mousey Company pay for what they did to my half-brother!”

Another SaveWOY picnic - if there’s one in my general area, you can count me in.

LP album artwork of My Fair Hatey.

A mural identical to that of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate consisting of not just characters from WOY, but also characters who were said to debut in S3 and characters who’d fit in perfectly, namely some of my OCs.

Pumpkin stencils of the main characters for Halloween.

Drawings of various WOY characters stuck on the ex-secret planet explaining why they need to leave said planet. Maybe I could also show how the galaxy’s villains would react if they learn that Lord Dominator’s been bested by Lord Hater.

Drawings consisting of SaveWOY-related messages spoken by the main characters from Disney shows that got at least three seasons (e.g. DuckTales, Fish Hooks), tons of love from the viewers and the executives (e.g. Gravity Falls), or both (e.g. SvtFoE, Mickey Mouse ‘13).

Example with Phineas and Ferb:

Phineas: “We may be creative and famous, but we’re not the ones who came up with the Star Nomad. It’s the ship powered by orbbles! Orbbles! I’d LOVE to see it take flight, wouldn’t you? If you let Mr. McCracken end the show his way, and not the executive way, which, truth be told, is the absolute worst, Wander will surely be elated!”

Ferb: “The Orbble Transporter was invented by conjoined twin brothers, voiced by the performers of the theme song.”

Irving (peeking in from the side): “Speaking of voices, the titular main character sounds JUST LIKE ME! How could you possibly resist?! And look, just because I’m the biggest fan of these guys (gesturing to P&F) doesn’t mean I have no interest in what’s planned for the furry orange fella!”

Since I’m a full-time Disneyland cast member, I should be able to make contacts with anyone who might have more clues about what S3 would entail. It might be a long shot, but if I’m able to convince Disney that WOY’s influence on my life boosted my chance at gaining employment at the company, they should understand.

A weekly Jeopardy-type pop quiz on Twitter - here’s the catch: you must refrain from finding information online when you read the answer (I bet you that the most hardcore fans of the most popular shows will get most of the questions wrong).

Example: This arachnomorph got his name from a dog tag he swallowed when he infiltrated a fish-shaped ship. He later became Lord Hater’s beloved pet.

-Who is Captain Tim?

Summaries of S3 episodes I made up myself a while back.

More fan-made characters - my most recent is an elected official of Cluckon, Mayor Spye C. Drumstick.

Conjuring a logo that best fits the status of S3/TV movie - Wander Over Yonder: The New Galaxy (the center would have the silhouette of the Star Nomad with Wander and Sylvia on it).

Brainstorming possible ideas for the three new main characters.

If all else fails, I suggest we make a web comic based on the hints we accumulated back in 2016 and what we learned from the cameo in Future-Worm’s finale. Team Sea3on has been taking that approach for SatAM Sonic the Hedgehog S3, though they are also making an animated version.

That’s about all I’ve got so far. In closing, I have several questions to ask as the new decade kicks off.

Disney executives: Are you even listening to us WOY fans? What more do you want? I’ve done so much for the campaign that I feel I’m entitled to know everything that was planned for WOY’s third and final season, especially now that I’m working full-time for your company. If you tell us what your demands are, we’d be happy to oblige.

@crackmccraigen: Are you aware of how hard the fans and I have been trying to talk Disney into giving you the chance for true closure? We’ll make sure we watch KC when it comes out on Netflix. If we’re lucky, we might see WOY get added to Disney+, where it should get that closure, assuming you’ll have finished KC your way before then.

@suspendersofdisbelief: I know you’re super busy with DuckTales and you love the plans for WOY S3 so much that you can’t bear to reveal it all in one post, but it’s been waaaay too long since we got any hints from you. Are there any other WOY S3-related facts you could describe in much greater detail? The campaign could do with more motivation.

Non-WOY fans: Are you convinced? Need I remind you what’s in the end tag of the “last” episode of WOY? You know there’s much more to life than tales from the land of Ooo, a blue middle school cat boy in a world of unusual individuals, adolescent twins in an Oregon town filled with oddities, a half-gem half-human protagonist, a coming-of-age princess of Mewni, a trio of ursine trend-followers in San Francisco, and all that jazz. If you’re not one bit interested in Hater’s origin story and all that was planned for S3, it’s your loss.

Pessimists: Will you please dispense with this unnerving “Wander is dead” talk? As a certain Popeye would say, “That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!” You’re not trying to let the Disney bosses win, are you? You probably used to think previously canceled shows like Hey Arnold!, Samurai Jack, and Young Justice could never be brought back. The point is, all is not lost.

@peepsqueak and WOY fans/SaveWOY supporters: Have I been of assistance? Almost every remark I’ve ever made shows wit and perception. I mean, just think. Wander is still stuck in that vault where his goal of reforming Lord Hater remains incomplete, and he has no idea of what threat awaits him. He says, “Glorn, help us.” It’ll take something big and extraordinary to convince every Disney fan (and perhaps every Netflix fan) to talk some sense into the higher-ups. Not to mention the replacement/back-up voice actors we’ll have to find if Disney takes even longer (we already lost one - René Auberjonois). We shan’t rest until we get the answers!

@disneyanimation

[cross-roads-blues]

Deep Inside Your Mind /ch.4

[chapter 1]  [chapter 2] [chapter 3] [ [chapter 5]

Notes: Your author is not dead. However, now that my break has ended, updating this story on a daily basis has gotten a bit harder for me, so the updates may be every 2 or 3 days. Also, need to establish some timelines.

1) Takes place before Mary gets brought back

2) Angels still have wings

3) Dean doesn't have the Mark of Cain

4) Crowley and TFW have a complicated relationship but none of them is actively trying to kill another.

Warnings: None, really. 

Summary:  While on a usual hunt, Dean Winchester is hit by something. While Dean recovers, he can’t remember neither Castiel, who’s been harboring feelings for Dean for over 5 years, nor Sam Winchester, his brother, who is 💔 by such turn of events. Can Cas and Sam reverse the damage, while battling their inner demons?

Chapter: 4/?

Word Count: 6520/?

Chapter Title: Way Down We Go

Jamie exited the hospital room and shut the door behind her. Or rather, the demon that was possessing the nurse made her exit the room and shut the door behind her. Word travels fast and talk about the comatose Winchester brother spread like fire in the middle of June. But now the demon didn’t need the meatsuit of the nurse. Everything he needed to know was already revealed: Dean Winchester was indeed amnesiac and he didn’t remember a damn thing about his past.

The demon in nurse meatsuit made his way to the storage room. The nurse locked the door and turned around on her heels approaching the corner of the room where in the dark, a man, seemingly unconscious, was sitting, leaning on the wall. The demon smoked out of the nurse and in the form of red smoke traveled to the man, possessing him. The man opened his eyes, stood up, dusted his pants and sighed with relief, looking at his hands. Being back in his meatsuit made Crowley very happy. After all, it was a rather handsome meatsuit. Crowley didn’t like to leave his meatsuit, but he had to take the nurse for 15 minutes to check on Dean. Anyway, he was on the new objective now.  “Huh,” smirked Crowley  and in the second, there was no one in the storage room of Dallas Municipal Hospital.

“Raised? By an angel? Why would an angel want to raise this scum?” Sam turned around and rubbed his temples.

Castiel squinted and again glanced at the top of the trees, slightly glistening from the start of sunrise. “I don't know. I could be able to trace the angel, though.”

“Great! Let's start with that! C'mon, do your mojo.” !” said Sam, with way too much tension in his voice.

Castiel pressed his lips and walked away from the grave. “I can’t just do it right here right now,” he said finally, making pauses between words. “I need to lay hands on something that the angel has touched.”

Sam aggressively ran his hand through his hair. “The ghost witch probably. If the angel yanked it out of Purgatory, or wherever this thing was, like you yanked Dean out of Hell, there should be a mark. ”

Castiel nodded. “Yes, there must be a mark.”

“Okay, zap us back to Dallas, we need a plan,” said Sam with a frown on his face, “Why can’t life just be easy?”

“You’re a Winchester and I’m an angel, I’m guessing that’s the thing,” murmured Cas, as he transported both of them back to the motel.

“Ugh, your teleport mojo always messes me over.” Sam stumbled over to the refrigerator, bumping into the kitchen’s doorway and grabbed another can of coffee. “I feel like shit now.”

“Maybe it’s because of your poor sleeping schedule,” commented Castiel, as he grabbed a book titled “Native American Legends” and collapsed in the chair, flipping through it.

“Definitely not.” Sam threw the can in the garbage bin, this time missing the bin and letting the can skittle in the corner.

“Right,” mouthed Castiel. “What’s the plan?” he said aloud, glancing up at the younger Winchester.

Sam shrugged. “We need to figure out how to track this thing. Get you to it for a long enough time and then have a nice talk with our feathery friend.” He dropped into a chair, letting his hair fall over his face. “I combed through all lore on ghost witches at least twice and I got no idea how to do that,” he added in muffled voice.

“Cheer up, Moose.” A way too familiar voice was heard from the doorway. Both Castiel and Sam jumped from their seats and bared their weapons: Castiel pointed an angel blade while Sam reached out for Ruby’s knife.

“I come in peace.” Crowley raised his eyebrows and displayed his empty hands. “Offended that you’d even think anything else of me.”

“Why’re you here, Crowley?” spat out Sam, still pointing the knife at the demon.

“To cuddle and watch Mean Girls,” smirked Crowley, “A little birdie brought on its tail that Squirrel forgot my pretty face. Now that’s a problem I’m interested in.”

Crowley strolled to the armchair and casually sat in it. “Ah yes, I know all about your little amnesia problem. About Skudakumooches, too. Wanted to help,” he continued in his gruff voice.

“Why?” Castiel slightly relaxed his stance, weapon still tight in his hand.

Crowley gave him a tight smile. “Because we’re besties. And because your ghost witches  are going after my crossroads demons.”

“Okay, what?” Sam put the knife away and set on the bed.

“Heard me right. Etchemin spells. Killing my best salesmen. Guessing that’s the work of your best buds.” Crowley leaned back in the armchair and crossed his hands.

“Okay and how are you gonna be useful, Crowley?” Sam rested his elbows on his knees and glared at the King of Hell.

“I got a friend who got a friend who got a friend who used to be a shaman before they went to Hell and I got a summoning ritual on my hands.”  Crowley did jazz hands. “Tada.”

Sam raised his eyebrow. “Okay, Crowley, why do you think we want to summon this thing?”

Crowley stared back at him, feigning surprise. “Why, to kill it of course. This thing is murdering my demons, it turned your brother Jason Bourne, I assumed you want it dead.”

Castiel and Sam exchanged glances. “What do you want in return?” finally spoke Sam.

“I want it dead. Seriously, did you listen to the word I said?” Crowley’s eyebrows shot up. “I said that it kills my guys and my little establishment known as Hell-” he accentuated that word - “is losing clientele! So I am more than willing to cooperate.”

Castiel looked at Sam, furrowing his brows and pushing his lips tightly together. Sam didn’t say anything, just nodded. Castiel hesitated for a second, then turned back to Crowley. “Deal. Give us the ritual.”

Crowley gave him an enigmatic tight-lipped smile. “Attaboy. Kill it real hard for me, will you?” He handed Castiel a folded piece of paper. Before taking it, Castiel gave Crowley a glare and practically yanked the paper out of his hand.

“We’re not killing it for you, Crowley,” said the angel in a haunting deep voice.

Crowley grinned. “Wouldn’t think so. Still you get the job done and that’s all I care about. I’d hate to lose any more of my salesmen.  I have a reputation to maintain here.” With these words, Crowley teleported, leaving Castiel and Sam staring at an empty armchair.

“Okay, now Crowley is involved and he knows about Dean’s situation. This just got more complicated,” said Sam, stowing away the knife and sighing.

Castiel tilted his hand and squinted. “If Crowley knew, it means that the word about Dean got out. This can’t be good.”

Sam nodded. “I’ll talk to the doctor about getting him here tomorrow. We should head to the bunker, do the summon, trace the angel, force him to force the ghost witches to give Dean’s memory back and then kill them all.” Sam exhaled and leaned back, lying on the bed completely. “Man, I swear,  sometimes it’s like the Universe is against us.”

Castiel looked at Sam. “You are going to get some sleep, while I-” he skimmed through the paper Crowley gave them “-am going to collect the ingredients for the ritual that we don’t have in the bunker.”

Sam got himself up from the bed, blinking rapidly and squinting. “No, Cas, wait, I can help with the-” he stuttered, looking for the word- “the, the…. the search of the ingredients.”

“No.” Castiel determinedly got up and walked up to the door. “I’ll see you later.”

“Wait, I’m not done, I’m not done!” Sam started to get up from the bed, but the exhaustion and many sleepless nights started setting in. “Okay, I’m done,” he admitted, collapsing again on the bed, “I’m done.”

Castiel cast one last glance at the younger Winchester, turned off the lights and headed out of the door. He shut the door behind him and felt light morning breeze on his face, as the sun continued rising. The angel pressed his lips together and tilted his head up, letting weak sunlight fall on his face. For the first time in weeks, they had a lead. They had a real shot at saving Dean. Castiel glanced down as he thought about the angel that had risen the Skudakumooches and ordered them to do that to Dean. He imagined jamming an angel blade in his throat and that thought felt really therapeutic. With a flap of the wings Castiel wasn’t anymore on the porch of the motel room.

The sunlight lit up Dean’s hospital room, as the light wind from the open window played with the curtains. The angel stood in the middle of the room, not sure why did he come there. Dean was sleeping and Cas rejoiced at seeing the hunter so calm and at peace. He slowly approached the bed, being careful not to make any sound. Dean not remembering him hurt like hell, hurt in the ways he couldn’t imagine. The pain of his human not remembering him, while the angel’s most cherished memories were with Dean stung and Cas couldn’t get rid of it. The angel spent a couple of minutes looking at Dean’s face and, as he wanted to leave, the hunter’s green eyes slowly opened.

“What, what time is it?” sleepily murmured the hunter, blinking slowly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up, I was just checking up on you…” rambled Castiel, moving away from the bed, embarrassed.

“Wait!” called out hunter.

“What is it?” The angel hesitated and lingered for a couple of moments by the bed.

“Your eyes… they’re blue,” muttered Dean, weakly raising his hand and pointing towards Cas’ face.

Castiel tilted his head and furrowed his brows. “Yes, I’m aware of that.”

Dean, still half asleep and a bit dizzy from the meds, hesitated for a second, but then continued. “I had a memory… lots of pain and everything red and black… and then I saw a flash of white-” Dean stopped and stared directly in Cas’ eyes- “and in that flash, I think I saw your eyes. But that doesn’t make any sense. So, Castiel, tell me who the hell I am, who the hell you are and what did I see?”

Castiel gave him a tight-lipped smile and contemplated his answer for a second. "No more secrets," he thought.

“I am an angel of the Lord.”

[chapter 1]  [chapter 2] [chapter 3] [chapter 5]

[bililireinhartarchive]

Riverdale: A High School Musical. Chapter 1: Start of Something New.

Hey babes!

So what has been promised has come to pass. Was it wise to start another multi-chapter while I still have Roses and Tiaras? Probably not, but it’s happening.

I had a lot of help with this fic. So thank you lovely beta @wherearethecloudsnow (I usually forego betas, because I’m an impatient asshole, but she was incredible.)

Thank you to the amazing @stark for helping me with the ideas for this fic. And without her, this fic would be very different. Thanks, babe.

And, of course, without @livelovebughead this fic might not exist. Because she was the one to suggest HSM to me.

So, obviously, it’s on AO3 here, if you prefer: http://archiveofourown.org/works/13510944/chapters/30987957

And I hope you like it. :)

People often say that opposites attract, but who’s ever seen it in practice? Who knows if this adage is true everywhere, but it’s definitely true in Riverdale. After all, where else could you see such a band of opposites coming together to make the greatest winter musical?

~~~

Cheryl Blossom, perfect in every way. Perfect to all but her parents. That honor was saved for her twin brother, Jason. He was always the golden boy, never made a mistake in their parents' eyes. Now they were left with a failure.

That summer Jason had died in a tragic drowning accident while taking Cheryl on an early morning boat ride. Cheryl missed her brother more than anything, and there was nothing she wouldn’t give to have him back.

The Blossom twins couldn’t have been closer if they were attached at the hip. They shared everything together, and she was plagued by unending guilt. She threw herself into her academics, to try to take the pain away for a minute, a second, as long as it would stay away. But everything changed when her red convertible rolled right into Riverdale High School.

~~~

Betty Cooper was the perfect girl next door. Editor of the school paper, cheerleading team member, top of her classes. However, despite all of this, Betty hates the word perfect and hates the fact that it’s what she aspires to be all the time. As is the case with a lot of families they never see eye to eye.

What Betty wants to be in her life makes no difference to her mother, Alice Cooper. Studying hard, looking good for college, being so damn spotless is all that matters to her. That, and having control over Betty.

For as long as Betty could remember her mother has been telling her who to be, what to do, and how to do it. It didn’t matter that what if Betty didn’t want to be a journalist, or what if she didn’t want to be at the top of all her classes. Maybe all she wanted to do was dance, for now, but it didn’t matter.

All thoughts like that had been banished from Betty’s mind long ago, along with her toe, tap, and jazz shoes. All Betty had left that was truly her own idea was cheerleading, and, God, did she hold onto that fiercely.

She’s always volunteering for everything you could imagine, which is why she was tasked with showing Cheryl Blossom around the school.

~~~

Veronica Lodge, spoiled little rich girl. Used to always having her way, never cared about anyone but herself. Everything has to be perfect in her eyes, otherwise, don’t get caught in the crossfire.

Veronica is the “It” girl in Riverdale, always has been. She thought no one would ever take her place at the school, at least until Cheryl Blossom with her perfect red hair and gorgeous lips rolled into town.

~~~

“Welcome to Riverdale High, Cheryl Blossom. I’m Betty Cooper,” she said with the perfect smile.

“I don’t care, can I just have my class schedule? I’ve seen stables bigger than your puny high school,” Cheryl said with a bored expression and crossed arms.

“Of course, I took the liberty of compiling your list of classes, and a separate sheet of paper of all the extracurriculars our lovely school has to offer,” Betty said, the smile still etched on her face.

“Thank you, I suppose. I doubt I’ll join any clubs, I want to spend all my time studying,” Cheryl said.

“Well, Riverdale High has several academic clubs, if you’re interested,” Betty replied.

“All I’m interested in is you hicks leaving me alone with solitude,” Cheryl said.

“Of course,” Betty said, her smile faltering for only a moment, “I hope you find what you’re looking for here in Riverdale.”

Betty started to walk away.

“Hold up. Would you just get that fucking smile off your face and help me find my homeroom?” Cheryl said, her face turning the shade of her hair.

“Yes,” Betty chuckles with a genuine smile on her face.

~~~

Jughead Jones, a person no one truly knows. A writer, an observer, and, most surprisingly, Veronica Lodge’s faithful puppy.

When Jughead was seven and his sister was only one, their mother ran off. FP Jones, having no steady job and a steady flow of alcohol, asked his only living relative, Hiram Lodge, to care for his two children. Veronica saw this as an opportunity for fun.

~~~

“Jughead, chop, chop. We must get to planning the winter musical,” Veronica said, walking ahead of him.

“Veronica, there’s almost two months until then, why are we starting now?” Jughead asked.

“Because Lodges always need perfection, and we won’t be involved in anything that isn’t perfect,” Veronica said, giving her sleek black hair a toss.

“Right, whatever,” Jughead said, sticking his headphones in his ears.

Jughead honestly didn’t know why he was still even listening to the crap that fell from Veronica’s lips. Mostly just because he felt like he owed her something, he supposed. Even though, ever since he arrived at the Lodge doorstep, Veronica hadn’t done anything to warrant a loyalty from him. Except the fact that she treated Jellybean like her own little sister, and protected her as such. That was the only reason he hadn’t just run off to someplace besides Riverdale. And, at least, the Lodges were kind to him. They always made him feel welcome in their home, they celebrated his birthday, and gave him an allowance. Like a real family.

If only he didn’t have the lingering memory in the back of his mind of his real family. He still remembered, vividly, the screaming, and occasionally even the breaking of things during their fights. Jughead really didn’t know what they were fighting about really, hell, he wasn’t even sure that they knew. All he really knew, for sure, was that he woke up on some Tuesday morning to the sound of his father sobbing, and he never saw his mother again. Occasionally, he saw his father, every two months or so, and it’s a miracle when he’s sober.

Maybe that was why he still listened to Veronica, to feel accepted, to feel wanted, to be noticed.

~~~

Cheryl and Betty became fast friends that day. Maybe what drew them to the other was that they both had a hole that needed filling, they had both lost someone. Sure, Betty still had Archie Andrews in her life, but he was always so busy with practice and training. And he didn’t understand the emptiness inside her, and even when they first met, Betty felt that Cheryl did.

~~~

Now there was a story, Archie Andrews. For all intents and purposes, Archie was perfect. Maybe he wasn’t the greatest student in the world, but, boy, this guy could play football. He was basically the king of the school, everybody loved him, but even he felt something missing in his life. And he knew what that thing was.

Music.

Over the summer he spontaneously decided to learn how to read music and play the guitar. And not only did he do that, he fell in love. With playing, with singing, with writing. But what would everybody think if he suddenly dropped football, and started playing music? They’d all think he was crazy for giving up the many opportunities that playing football gave him.

So he gave it up, and now it felt like he was missing an arm.

~~~

Kevin Keller. The complete opposite of Archie, he’s completely out of his love for music, but there’s something that he isn’t out about.

He’s gay.

Kevin’s known this about himself for a long time, but he’s been afraid to come out. How will this change how people view him? Will they still allow him to write all the songs for the school’s shows? It’s reasons like these that keep him in the closet, he hasn’t even told his father.

[bluboothalassophile]

A Weekend We’ll Never Remember!

Last First Date...

It’d been a month, a whole freaking month, of not seeing her, moving, and getting his life in order; NO sex. And he hadn’t even talked to her. The only news he received on Kori was through Raven, and that was when Dick actually managed to catch up with Raven.

Raven was being evasive, and aside from maybe Jason, no one was better at being more elusive than Raven.

But that brought Dick to where he was, the night he was lounging in his new apartment, watching Looney Tunes and eating cereal as he contemplated how his life had gotten so wrapped up in waiting for Kori to ask him out. As teenagers he had held all the ‘power’ in their relationship, he supposed. He’d say he wanted to go out, and Kori would leap to go with him and be all dolled up. She would jump to be with him. Now she was avoiding him.

Which had Dick sighing again.

The phone rang, he threw his cereal almost as he scrambled over the couch for his cell. Snatching it up he answered.

“Hello,” he gasped; it had to be Kori, it had to be.

“I will go on a date with you,” she said carefully. It was Kori to his relief.

“Yeah, sure, when and where!” he demanded eagerly. He could do this, he could do this, he would do this, he wanted to do this.

Kori rattled off a place, and he said he’d pick her up. Slowly she gave him her hotel; which wasn’t that far away.

Dick got ready hastily and was out the door for his car; not the bike before driving to the hotel.

Jogging into the lobby he stopped and did a double take of Kori. She was sitting still, at the hotel bar, her mass of flaming red hair was pulled up and her skin was image induced to be tanned rather than her normal orange, and her eyes, were off, but still induced to be green. She looked striking, and human, but still striking. She was wearing purple, deep, dark, mysterious purple, and emeralds. Plus her jewel from her home, nestled between her breasts. Her long bare legs were crossed, and her black heels added to her towering height already even with her sitting there.

She looked fucking gorgeous.

Dick strolled up to her, his hands in his pockets as he just looked her over carefully. Her green eyes flicked to him as she sipped her wine.

“Hello Dick,” she greeted him as primly as she looked him over.

“Hey Kori,” he smiled as he leaned on the bar beside her. She was gorgeous.

“I hesitate to do this, at all, but it has been brought to my attention that you are actually trying and I… I do love you,” she said softly.

“I love you too,” he said firmly; because he did. And he refrained from touching her bare arm then. He would do whatever was needed to keep her.

“Please don’t break my heart this time,” she pleaded as she stood.

“I’m not going to,” he assured her as they walked together. He got the car door for her as she slipped in.

Dick took her to a hole in the wall jazz club, a place Kori had fallen in love with when he and she had first been together, and he smiled as they were seated and Kori hummed to the music looking over the menu.

“Need help?” he offered.

“No, I believe I was advised well as to what I would like to order.” She informed him of this as if this date was just a formality; which annoyed him slightly.

“So you talk to Jason recently?” he asked cautiously.

“Yes, he is babysitting Lian,” Kori smiled. “He and Raven were… ‘roped into it’ as Roy and Thea have a mission this week.”

“Really?” Dick blinked.

“Yes,” she giggled.

“Raven? Babysitting? With Jason?” Dick smiled then, oh the blackmail he would get with pictures of that.

“Roy cashed in his favor with Raven, she could not refuse even if she had wanted to. Not that she would, Lian adores Raven,” Kori said softly.

“Kori,” he started but was cut off when the waiter came to take their order.

Once he got her chatting he got the crash course in Kori’s missing years. Since meeting up with Roy and Jason and all their antics across the galaxy, her time with her sister and her people. Dick was shocked at how involved her life had gotten without him. Part of him envied how smoothly she had picked her life up. Dick’s life had been a struggle after breaking up with Kori and she was regaling him with stories of her wild adventures.

He was an idiot for ever letting her go.

“His head was stuck?” Dick chuckled.

“Yes! He was griping about interrogating that thing, and his head is stuck in what is left of it’s clawed hand!” she giggled.

“Sounds like you guys had fun,” Dick chuckled.

“It took hours to get his head out of that thing’s hand!” she laughed. Dick smiled at the sound when a slow song started playing. He was up, his hand out.

“Dick?” she blinked.

“Come on, you like dancing, and I like you,” he grinned. She hesitated a moment before her hand was in his and he hoisted her to her feet as he pulled her too him. She was fucking gorgeous and tall, he liked it as he grinned up at her.

“People are staring,” she whispered.

“Of course they are, I have the pretties woman in the room and they can’t have her,” he answered as he dipped her a bit, she giggled. He could have sworn he saw Roy when he dipped Kori but that was ridiculous.

~~~*~*~*~~~

“This is Jaybird to Mockingbird, what’s the status?” his intercom buzzed.

“Mockingbird to Jaybird, no interference to love birds, yet,” Roy replied, Thea giggled in his arms.

“Roger, sever Peacock’s manhood if things change for Flamingo,” Jason clicked off.

“You two are being ridiculous,” Thea giggled.

“Are not, he broke her last time, he doesn’t get to do that again,” Roy dipped his girlfriend then.

“By the way, what are Raven and I if we’re all birds?” she asked.

“Rae’s little bird, and you are pretty bird,” Roy grinned.

“That’s not very original,” she chided.

“But fitting, and we can’t call Raven a raven, that’s unimaginative,” Roy countered.

“As opposed to little bird?”

“Have you seen her? She’s fucking tiny!” Roy balked as he looked back at his friends.

~~~*~*~*~~~

Kori giggled seeing Roy and Thea not so subtly following her and Dick as they walked down the street. With friends like Roy and Jason dates were not happening without her having them following her all night long, they were like brothers to her that way.

“Well, this is your hotel,” Dick said.

“Yes, it is,” she agreed.

“To night was awesome,” he started.

“It was indeed,” she agreed.

“We should do it again,” he grinned.

“I…”

“Kori, I’m serious this time,” he stated it in his ‘Batman voice’, cold, unfeeling, like he were stating a fact rather than an opinion.

“Dick, I am… I am willing to try,” she sighed. She wanted this, she really did. She just didn’t know if she would survive the heartbreak this time if he was toying with her heart.

“Good,” he smiled broadly, and his hand reached up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

She leaned a bit into his touch, he was coming up to kiss her when there was a startled yelp and Dick Grayson was sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs. Kori blinked, and noticed Thea sauntering by, innocently as she and Roy hooked arms again and walked into the hotel. Unnoticed because of their disguises, which had Kori pouting a bit.

“What the?” Dick managed.

“I believe good night is in order Dick, we should do another date soon,” she called as she walked in. She was a bit disappointed by not getting that kiss. She glowered at Roy and Thea who grinned and waved at her as the elevator closed and she surrendered to this being her friends trying to keep her heart from being broken.

Sighing she got to her room, dropped her bag and fell onto the bed as she kicked off her heels, pulled off the image inducer and let her hair tumble free.

Tonight had given her something she hadn’t had in a long while about her and Dick Grayson, it had given her hope. It had let her believe that just maybe, this time it could work.

She had needed that hope as she picked up her version of their marriage license then she looked at the ring she wasn’t wearing. Dick had been wearing his own ring, still, like he should always wear it. She’d seen the way he had worried it when he thought she wasn’t looking.

Sighing she slipped her own ring back to it’s home on her own finger before she stood and stripped. She could do this.

They could do this.

This time it just might work.

[thewidowstanton]

Tessa Blackman, hand-to-hand and acrobalance artist, Josh & Tess, Living Room Circus

American circus artist Tessa Blackman – who is from Chicago – trained as a dancer from the age of five. She specialised in classical ballet at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts, and also did tap, jazz and contemporary. She went on train at Chicago’s Second City and has also studied holistic energy and worked with InVision, a school of psychic abilities.

In 2016 she graduated from the National Centre for Circus Arts in London with her hand-to-hand partner Joshua Frazer. As Josh & Tess, their acts are an enticing fusion of ballet and circus. They are members of Living Room Circus and appear in its show The Penguin and I from 29 June – 2 July at The Dairy at Springhill Farm, in Forest Row, Sussex. It runs again on 25 July at Jacksons Lane in London, and the duo appear in Simple Cypher’s Cypher Stories on 26 July at the same venue during its Postcards 2017 season. Tessa chats to Liz Arratoon.

The Widow Stanton: Any there any other performers in your family? Tessa Blackman: Yes. My mum, Suzanne Lek, was a prima ballerina. My great, great uncle was Nicolas Legat, who was a really famous Russian dancer. He was kind of like in the beginning of the whole Vaganova technique. Back in the day there was the Legat School of Ballet and the Royal Ballet and they were kind of rivals. So my mum went there from ten to 18. But then Legat got shut down. She worked for the London Festival Ballet and then moved to Yugoslavia and worked in a company there. She also worked at Pineapple Dance Studio and then actually first brought Pineapple to New York. My dad isn’t a performer but he loves the arts.

Is your mother Russian? No. Our familly line is Russian but she’s actually Welsh… well, it’s all mxed up because my grandparents lived in Holland but when the Nazis invaded they moved to Wales, cos we’re Jewish. My dad is from Chicago, born and bred.

Did you always want to be a dancer? Yes. When I was five my mother was teaching and I said, ‘Please can I come and take some classes with you?’. There was never pressure. She never pushed me to dance but it was kind of, ‘If you’re gonna do it, you’re gonna do it well.’ Then she pushed me pretty hard, but in a good way. It was tough at times and I danced from five years old up until 19. I went to North Carolina School of the Arts boarding school for ballet and yeah, I always wanted to be a dancer. That was my thing.

So why aren’t you a dancer? Yes, exactly. When I was 18, I had a really bad back injury; I had a herniated disc and that was the end of my ballet career. I kind of took about four years out. All the doctors wanted me to have surgery but there was something instinctual in me that told me not to do it, and I said I didn’t want it. I did holistic therapies and everything I could and essentially healed myself over time. During that time I went to art school, started painting, did a lot of energy work…

Did you do acting at Second City? Isn’t it an improv place? Yeah, they have a five-level improvisational programme and I did that for a year right after NCSA.

What made you move on to circus? Basically when I was living in Chicago and doing all these crazy things, I started getting romantically involved with a Circus du Soleil performer, who was a dancer in Dralion. [Laughs] I was like, ‘This is awesome!’. I was going to all his different shows around the States and he took me backstage one day and I got to meet all the performers. I was talking to them and was like, ‘How do you do this? This looks insane!’ They were like: “Well, you can train your muscles just like you train your muscles for dance.” They gave me this conditioning programme that I started doing on my own. 

Then because I have a UK passport, I decided that I was gonna buy a one-way ticket and move to England. I did that – it worked with our relationship because he was travelling everywhere too – and I researched where I could take circus classes. I found Circus Space, which the National Centre for Circus Arts was at the time. It said, ‘Degree auditons in four weeks’. So I was like, ‘Maybe I should do this’. [Laughs] I trained for four weeks and I got in, which I still can’t believe. I couldn’t believe it happened because I had only really been physically training hard and getting back into shape since my injury probably for six months prior to the audition. I did a dance performance for my audition piece; I’d never done any circus before, I couldn’t even do a handstand. [Laughs]

This is marvellous, almost like running away with the circus… Yeah, I always describe circus to people as like one of those claw machines at fairgrounds that pick up toys. [Makes a claw hand motion] Circus just sort of picks you up and you’re like, ‘Oh, how did I get here?’. Everyone’s story is just completely different. What made you choose hand-to-hand? I was trying a bunch of disciplines and because I had no gymnastics background I had zero upper-body strength. I found aerial quite challenging. Then I started doing acrobalance and me and Josh paired up and started working together. It was really interesting, because we were similar in size and I was basing him a lot and he was basing me, and I realised that actually hand-to-hand was closer to dance than I thought and it felt really good. And we were dating, so it seems as if my romantic life takes me in the direction of my art forms [laughs]. We just dove into it together and started training and we loved it.

Your degree piece, Bound, was so distinctive and really impressive. How would you describe your style? Where we started is kind of like gender neutrality and not being confined to our genders in the way we express ourselves as artists. So we wanted to bring in a fluid movement quality and not have that be distinctly feminine and bring in a raw quality and not have that just be male; how we can both move in-between that language together and display a woman strongly and maybe display a man femininely.

Since our devised piece we’ve developing a lot with the knotted ropes – Shibari – moving more towards this raw, more aggressive style at the minute. I’m seeing that Shibari is getting more incorporated into circus now, which is really cool [see our interview with Hanna Moisala]; the whole self-suspension thing, having it be an aerial apparatus. We haven’t explored that as much but we’ve been using more the harness work.

Would you agree there has been quite a move to having women as bases? Is there a point to prove? Yeah, absolutely. I think for years we’ve been in that space as women of trying to prove a point, but for me I like to think of it, in respect to the feminist movement, that we’re not trying to be men, it’s more that we’re trying to display our strengths. The difficulty is that people are going: “Oh, you’re just trying to do the man’s job.” But it’s like, ‘No, actually these jobs are equal and we’re trying to show you that we are strong as well, that we are just as strong, we are built to do things like that, too’. It’s like: “Female bases, what’s this?” But it’s super-exciting to see and everyone loves to see it. I think it’s amazing that it’s happening.

How hard is your ‘iron-jaw’ move? [Laughs] I think that like with every circus trick, it’s an illusion to a certain extent; you have the strength but there are ways of making it safe for your body. I would say it’s probably more like a neck hang than it is genuinely from my jaw.

You might be interested in the aerialist Miss La La… but tell us about Josh and why you like working with him? A lot of reasons. We’re basically best friends. We’re not together any more in a relationship so that’s been a difficult transition but the fact is that when you work so close with someone you become best friends. We were living together for three years, we saw each other 24 hours a day so I think my relationship with him is unlike any other I’ve had with anybody. It’s probably one of the most special relationships I’ve had.

The way I kind of describe our creative process sometimes is at times I throw up on the table and then he cleans it up [laughs, a lot]. I’m kind of like, ‘Wah, wah, wah, here it is, this idea, this idea’, and he’s like: “OK, but how can we make that all work and structure it together.” It feels like a good balance.

I’ve always loved adagio and hand-to-hand with the woman in pointe shoes. You support Josh on your shoulders while on pointe. It’s stunning but what does it do to your feet… [Laughs] It requires a lot of training with my legs. The strength isn’t all coming from my ankles, it’s coming from my entire leg, so I have to keep up on my physio with my ankles and then also the strength of my inner thighs and glute muscles so that the whole leg is working to lift the body rather than just my feet.

I’ve never really understood pointe shoes. Is the inside shaped to cushion your foot? Not really. It’s a really close fit but they’re made of papier maché and have wood around the block part. You mostly wear toe pads inside. Most people use cotton or little gels, so sometimes there’s a little bit of foam at the tip of the shoe.

What have you done since graduation? I’ve mostly been working with the Living Room Circus, which is run by Elinor Harvey. She won the Deutsche Bank Business Plan Award in our year at NCCA. We did our first performance together last summer in a yurt in Forest Row in Sussex. We’re coining ourselves right now as an immersive experimental circus company. We mix circus, dance, live music and physical theatre, with an emphasis on audience interaction and involvement. We’re working on The Penguin and I, which Jason Dupree is directing.

Tell us a bit about the show… We’ve been creating a series of scenes that we can then adapt into whatever space we’re going into. For the new show we have this bespoke sofa that we can use in different ways, to balance on, to hang from. We actually got the money to make it from a Kickstarter campaign, which was great. This coming week we are performing in a dairy farm again in Forest Row. We have the scenes all laid out and we’re going to see what we can do with the space. It’s going to be really, really cool. It’s Eli’s home town and it’s kind of like our starting place.

Can you pick out a career highlight or two so far? Right off the bat, I’d say how much Josh and I have travelled so far. We’ve been to Corsica, Israel, Belgium and around the UK, and that alone is pretty awesome and exciting. Then just working with the Living Room Circus has been amazing because it feels just like a circus family. It feels like we’re a bunch of kids making a company, because we haven’t really had that much outside help. We’ve had help funding-wise but yeah, we’ve created this family together and we’re trying to make it work and see what happens.

The Penguin and I runs from 29 June – 2 July at The Dairy, Springhill Farm, in Forest Row, Sussex and again on 25 July at Jacksons Lane in London. Josh and Tess also appear in Simple Cypher’s Cypher Stories on 26 July at the same venue during its Postcards 2017 season.

Picture credits: Tessa’s headshot, Nizaad Photography; Josh on shoulders/iron jaw, Bertil Nilsson; The Penguin, Miriam Strong

For tickets for The Penguin and I at The Dairy and at Jacksons Lane, and for  Cypher Stories. click the links

Twitter: @LRCircus @jacksons_lane @SimpleCypher

Follow @TheWidowStanton on Twitter

Click the links to read our interviews with Simple Cypher’s Kieran Warner and Christopher Thomas

[deadcactuswalking]

HIDE IT IN MY SOCK -- THE TOP 10 BEST HIT SONGS OF 2017

Well then, 2017 was fantastic! Well, I mean, for popular music; in terms of anything else, 2017 was pretty horrible, but that’s not what we’re here to discuss. We’re here to discuss...

THE TOP TEN BEST HIT SONGS OF 2017

Yeah, it’s finally here – I wanted to really finalise my list before it was released so I kind of missed List Season entirely, but hopefully those extra weeks of working on these lists will be for the best. Now, throughout the last year, I’ve been more fascinated by and involved in the world of hip hop and rap music, including listening to artists such as Tyler, the Creator, BROCKHAMPTON and Anderson .Paak much more than I used to simply because the genre overall is much more easily enjoyable and accessible, even the more underground and alternative stuff. The reason for that is probably the dominance of urban music on the charts in 2017, with hip hop and R&B overthrowing rock as the most popular genre as of right now. This was expected for a while now, but it’s crazy how much hip hop and rap is more easily available now and especially insane how much hip hop and rap is on the charts now. I’m not really complaining for most of it – you’ll be seeing quite a lot of hip hop on this list – but the oversaturation of trap music, a brand of Southern hip hop, has really gotten on my nerves and honestly I’m starting to get sick of how anyone with ‘Lil’ in their name and lean in their cup can get a Top 40 hit nowadays, but that’s enough rambling and complaining! This is the best list, so let’s start things off positively and reveal the honourable mentions, because there’s a hell of a lot of them.

Honourable Mentions

These are ranked from how far they are from the list proper, furthest to closest. Let’s go!

XXXTENTACION – “Look at Me!”

I was tempted to put this on the list for the meme, but, nah, this sucks.

The Chainsmokers and Coldplay – “Something Just Like This” / Migos – “Bad and Boujee” featuring Lil Uzi Vert / French Montana – “Unforgettable” featuring Swae Lee / Cardi B – “Bodak Yellow” / The Chainsmokers – “Paris” / Justin Timberlake – “Can’t Stop the Feeling!”

I can’t decide if these songs are terrific or terrible. Other than that, I have nothing really to say about these other than I’m excited for Swaecation.

Adele – “Water under the Bridge”

I want to like this song.

DJ Khaled – “Wild Thoughts” featuring Rihanna and Bryson Tyler

I don’t want to like this song, but that groove is tight enough for me to forgive Bryson Tiller comparing sex to a cremation.

twenty one pilots – “Heathens”

I’ve yet to come to terms with the fact that I kinda like these guys.

Miley Cyrus – “Malibu”

This is the sweetest song of the year. Ew.

Zedd and Alessia Cara – “Stay”

This was on the list at some point. Guess it couldn’t stay.

Also, yes, since I don’t have much to say about these songs, a lot of these reasons will just be puns.

21 Savage – “Bank Account” / Post Malone – “Rockstar” featuring 21 Savage

21 Savage has never bored me like he bores other people.

Sweeter than a Pop-Tart

The only reason “Rockstar” isn’t on this list is because of the Pop-Tart diss. How dare you!

Travis Scott – “Goosebumps” featuring Kendrick Lamar

God, Kendrick is terrible on this.

Demi Lovato – “Sorry Not Sorry”

I ain’t got no problem, got no problem with this.

Niall Horan – “Slow Hands”

Why does everyone hate this again? This is too cute for me to dislike, even if it does compare sex to laundry.

Shawn Mendes – “There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back”

Yeah, that guitar melody holds this back.

Rae Sremmurd – “Black Beatles” featuring Gucci Mane / Migos – “I Get the Bag” featuring Gucci Mane

Happy belated birthday, Gucci Mane.

Luis Fonsi featuring Daddy Yankee and Justin Bieber – “Despacito” (remix)

This is a really fun song, but it kind of bores me towards the end.

Big Sean – “Bounce Back”

Tragic irony.

The Weeknd – “I Feel it Coming”

This is one of the few times that a song is too repetitive for my taste.

Rihanna – “Love on the Brain”

Doo-wop-wop, shooby-doo-wop.

Charlie Puth – “Attention”

The ultimate battle between good and evil: bassline vs. falsetto.

Bruno Mars – “24K Magic” / Bruno Mars – “That’s What I Like”

Sorry, Bruno, you’re not #blessed enough.

Got to blame it on Jesus

Kendrick Lamar – “HUMBLE.”

I’m just not very good at talking about Kendrick, probably because if you hear his songs you’ll immediately know why I like them.

A Boogie wit da Hoodie – “Drowning” featuring Kodak Black

This nearly topped my list until I got sick of Kodak Black’s verse.

KYLE – “iSpy” featuring Lil Yachty / D.R.A.M. - “Broccoli” featuring Lil Yachty

These are fun but Lil Yachty exists, so they’re not on the list.

Touch my gang, we gon’ turn this s**t to Columbine

I hope KYLE and D.R.A.M. won’t end up as one-hit wonders, though they probably will be.

Ed Sheeran – “Castle on the Hill”

This is the only time you will see me endorsing Ed Sheeran because this song rocks. Too bad the rest of his output is cringeworthy or boring.

Harry Styles – “Sign of the Times”

We’re at the point where the only reason these songs didn’t make the list is because there were a few songs that were better. Exhibit A.

Playboi Carti – “Magnolia”

Consider this my honorary #11.

Charlie Puth – “How Long”

If this made the year-end, it would have been on the list.

Jason Derulo – “Tip Toe” featuring French Montana / CamelPhat and Elderbrook – “Cola”

These songs didn’t cross over to the US in time to be a hit, and that upsets me because these probably would have made the top five. Hell, I’m listening to “Cola” as I’m typing this.

N.E.R.D. – “Don’t Don’t Do It!” featuring Kendrick Lamar

This is my favourite single released this year overall. Tied with...

Tyler, the Creator - “Boredom” featuring Rex Orange County and Anna of the North

Lil Uzi Vert - “The Way Life Goes” featuring Oh Wonder and Nicki Minaj

Lorde - “Perfect Places”

Now to get to the actual list of ten—well, twelve—songs that I consider to be the best that American popular music had to offer throughout the year. Let’s start with #10.

#10

I have never heard a good Fifth Harmony song in my life, mostly because of how unappealing Camila was as a singer. I personally found her voice very squeaky and at times aggravating. Sure, artists improve over time, but when she went solo, I did not expect this big of an improvement.

#10 – Camila Cabello – “Havana” featuring Young Thug

This took me by surprise when I first heard it because it is so smooth despite its blending of many popular genres, including jazz-influenced piano and Latin percussion that despite classic influences, still feels incredibly fresh, especially in today’s pop climate. What I love most about the song apart from the obvious which I’ll talk about later is actually the lyrics and the performers, especially Young Thug. Camila is the main star, obviously, with her almost sassy performance, but the lyrics she’s singing contrast that swagger completely, and are about a boy who seemingly doesn’t care about her when they initially meet, with a careless stride into the club Camila’s in and a chessy pick-up line along the way which, of course, he says to all the other girls. A Joey Tribbiani reference starts Camila’s verse, and if you mention Friends, I’m pretty sure you get on this list automatically.

I’m doin’ forever in a minute (that Summer night in June) / And poppa says he got malo in him

Camila uses the Spanish word “malo”, meaning “bad”, describing Young Thug as a typical bad boy. That pre-chorus is also one of the catchiest moments in the top ten right now.

And he got me feeling like (ooh)

Camila’s great but Young Thug, however, is a genius. You know how guest rap verses usually talk about something completely unrelated, usually just bragging about all the typical rap subjects? Well, somehow Young Thug both does exactly that and subverts it at the same time. For the first part of his verse, he gives us more detail about who this bad boy is and reveals his name, Jeffery – Young Thug’s real name. Talking from the perspective of Jeffery (or himself), he details how he just graduated from college, where he was “fresh on campus”, to brag to Camila about his perceived “coolness”, for lack of a better word. He continues to brag and talk about how he’s a bad boy, paying prostitutes like Uncle Sam – yes, that is the similie he uses – until he starts to talk about the sex that Jeffrey and Camila supposedly had, describing it with several food metaphors, even proclaiming that it’s “history in the making”, shredding his bad boy persona and revealing glimpses of hope to raise a child and settle down. He then hilariously retracts his statement, going back to Jeffery bragging, showing how Jeffery’s fear of getting too close has really left Camila’s heart in Havana.

This is history in the makin’ on me / Point blank, close range, that be / If it cost a million, that’s me

He ends his verse by begging Camila and trying to reason with her, but his persona has clouded his mind.

I was gettin’ mula, baby!

What makes this even better is that this verse both fits into the story and is a throwaway rap verse about himself. Young Thug is a genius.

Also, it has a saxophone solo, which obviously makes it God-tier in my books. Fantastic song.#

Havana, ooh, na-na

#9

Let me make this clear: not every section will be as long as #10, but I had a lot of lyrical stuff I wanted to talk about for that song, so I did my best to keep it kind of concise while I explained why I love it. Most of these songs, however, I enjoy purely based on a musical standpoint and what better way to demonstrate this other than a song about what I assume is hipster nonsense.

#9 – Portugal. The Man – “Feel it Still”

This year was full of two things: stilted trap rap and funky-as-hell grooves. This is probably the funkiest and grooviest song out of the bunch, but it’s also psychedelic and eerie, creating a beautiful contrast between the percussion that sounds fitting in a disco or energetic soul track and the creeping bass and the jumpscare-worthy horns, as well as the fantastically creepy falsetto vocals performed by this indie rock band’s frontman, John Gourley, as well as the deep and reverb-effected vocals from the other members of the band, specifically the repetition of “is it coming?” just to lead to a non-climax; the feeling is still. The dial-up phone sounds during the first verse are also pretty clever and work with the “is it coming?” theme excellently as well. It feels like it’s right behind you and you’re constantly afraid of it, but it never comes. For a song that’s actually about wanting life to be peaceful like it supposedly was in the 1960s and 1980s again, it musically represents paranoia brilliantly. This psychedelic pop tune will be in my rotation for years to come.

#8

Yeah, I don’t have much to talk about for this one so I suppose we’ll just jump right into it.

#8 – Khalid – “Young, Dumb & Broke”

Khalid as a vocalist is one of the best newcomers to the pop world, and for someone with such a mature smooth soulful vocal, you wouldn’t expect him to have had his 20th birthday just a few days ago. Despite that, his first big single “Location” didn’t work for me, I suppose it just felt too minimalistic and slightly drab, somewhat dull in fact. His follow-up, however, is an R&B jam about reminiscing on when he was a young, dumb and broke high-school kid that just clicks with me. Maybe it’s the chill trap-hinting production, maybe it’s the catchy vocalisation in the post-chorus, maybe it’s Khalid himself, but I’m not entirely sure. This just really clicks with me on a level I didn’t really think it could, and I don’t have much reason for it either, but for an incredibly basic song like this I don’t think it’s necessary. It’s just a solid jam you should definitely check out.

#7

Who can relate? Whoo!

#7 – Post Malone – “Congratulations” featuring Quavo

That meme of a quote from Logic pretty much sums up why I like this song. It’s relatable to a degree where everyone can relate to it (whoo), because it’s just about having a small achievement in your life, and being happy that you accomplished it. It’s an anthem for people overcoming milestones in their life that mean more to them than it does to anyone else. Post mentions being on TV, which gets you some level of fame overall and gives you recognition, but the only people that truly notice and take it to heart are you and your closest friends and family.

My mama called, “seen you on TV, son” / Said, “s**t done changed ever since I was young”

Nothing has really changed at all, but to Postman Malone and his family, it means the world. It’s also an anthem for dismissing your haters – the main obstacle for anyone to get ahead – but maybe they’re not typical or conventional “haters”.

I dreamed it all ever since I was young / They said I wouldn’t be nothing, now they always say, “Congratulations!” (yeah)

He says “they” but he doesn’t specify, leading me to believe he’s talking about the voices in his head and his self-esteem pushing him down. What leads me to this theory, though? Huncho Houdini himself, Quavo. Do you notice that in the verse and the chorus, both Post Malone and Quavo have faint repetitions of “yeah”? Those are the voices that Post is being kept down by. In Post’s verse he even mentions what the voices have to say.

I know I sound dramatic, yeah

But he’s still determined.

But I knew I had to have it, yeah

Quavo, in his verse, portrays Post’s mindset and how all over the place is thoughts are: reminiscing on graduation...

Young n***a, young n***a, graduation

Attempting to find some energy and buzz to do something...

I pick up the rock and I ball, baby

...but he can’t. He tries to get help from out of this rut but he just can’t pick up the phone.

I’m looking for someone to call, baby / But right now, I got a situation

He later drops this beautiful line, wrapping everything up in one sentence.

My life is like a ball game

But in the end, despite everything all collapsing, Post gets through the struggle and reigns on top.

If you f**k with winnin’, put your lighters to the sky

Come on, who doesn’t f**k with winning?

#6 / #5

Hey, look, two consecutive Maroon 5 songs! God, there goes my dignity.

#6 – Maroon 5 – “Cold” featuring Future

#5 – Maroon 5 – “What Lovers Do” featuring SZA

I know everyone hates these songs but too bad, they’re awesome and also polar opposites.

“Cold” is a loose, dark tropical house track where Adam’s screeching vocals stand out as not a negative but a positive, being the only possible release of his anger and confusion against the muted bass in the verse, before the explosion of the chorus, where Adam outright asks his girlfriend, “why have you been so cold?” He shouts desperately, not worried but distressed and confused, in a state of isolation almost, until he finds a friend who can relate (whoo) in the form of Future. The whole song is a spill of Adam and Future’s emotions towards this woman, and it works beautifully in the tropical instrumentation. My favourite line is from Future:

So cold; this colder

The girl’s so cold that Future is cracking up a cold one with... himself.

“What Lovers Do”, however, is a tight funky synthpop track that focuses on Adam and SZA trying to do what lovers do, trying to be close but can’t. It’s not one-sided anymore, hence the instrumentation is much less natural and more stiff, because it’s not one man screaming at a wall, it’s a couple screaming at each other. Sonically, both of these songs are very fun, free songs with “What Lovers Do” having a tight groove and “Cold” feeling sparsely empty in its instrumentation but has a driving kick to it that shows Adam’s uncertainty. If you slander these songs, you can shut right up. Maroon 5 has never failed to delight.

I don’t wanna know, know, know, know

Oh, hey, ha, hey. I’ll be seeing you on my worst list.

No more, please stop

#4

There’s three very predictable choices for the near-top of this list, and here’s probably the most predictable one.

#4 – Childish Gambino – “Redbone”

Have you ever just loved a song so much because everything works? Everything is so beautifully meshed together that it’s almost too perfect.

Well, that is not what happened here at all because I shouldn’t like this as much as I do, and nothing works about it. The bass is too overwhelming, especially in the pre-chorus, sounding very sludgy for that whole passage, also, Childish Gambino’s falsetto is grating to the point it makes me want to eat some Red Leicester, but you can never deny that melody that started the meme that created – or at least developed - the surge of popularity for this excellently-composed track. I think its imperfections are why I love it, it sounds clunky and at times drags on too much but it fits in perfect with Gambino, who is vocally all over the wall, with a weak murmur in the verse, and a powerful screech in the final chorus. Despite being out for more than a year now, this hasn’t grown on me, this has just become more and more interesting and mind-boggling that it became a hit. It’s strange but so is 2017, which leads me to the reason I have this song so high. It represents 2017 extremely well – everything is strange, new and worrying, especially with Trump in office and the current political climate.

#3

What? You think he wasn’t gonna be on the list at all?

#3 – Kendrick Lamar – “DNA.”

Kendrick talks about racial, social and political issues a lot, and honestly, I couldn’t care less about what he brings up because his flow, punchlines, bars and especially production are all killer. This applies to this song more than any other Kendrick song I’ve heard. The stuttering trap production from Mike WiLL Made It brings more power to Kendrick’s first verse where he raps repetitively about what he has in his DNA or in his blood, stuff he’s dealt with so much it’s just natural for him. It is a hyped banger for its first minute and a half or so, before it switches to Geraldo Riviera being sampled stating that he believes hip hop music has damaged African-American youth culture, until Kendrick absolutely rips him apart in the second verse as the beat switches to a more gloomy and complex beat.

My DNA not for imitation / Your DNA an abomination

In this fantastic verse, he talks about the typical lyrical subjects Geraldo Riviera thinks hip hop is only about, and sarcastically glamorises them, saying sex, money and murder are what Riviera thinks are in his DNA. These verses from different perspectives make up and incredibly pumped-up track that is just excellent in every which way. Love it.

#2

And now for our only tie, both songs by two artists who have a hit-and-miss track record and one artist I absolutely love. Drank.

#2 – Jason Derulo – “Swalla” featuring Ty Dolla $ign and Nicki Minaj / Calvin Harris – “Slide” featuring Frank Ocean and Migos (Offset and Quavo)

Both of these songs are here not because of any deep lyrical meaning or any beautiful mesh of instrumentation or its elements, they’re here because of peer enjoyment. They also both have some of my personal favourite elements of music overall, just stuff that tickles my fancy more than anything objectively great. The simple melody of the synth in “Slide”, as well as the brilliant synth-solo in “Swalla” in the post-chorus, which I have grown to absolutely love and herald as the best moment in pop music this year, maybe tied with the start of Offset’s verse in “Slide”.

(Offset!) Good gracious! / Staring at my diamonds while I’m hopping out the spaceship

Everyone’s favourite homophobic hip hop duo, Offset and Quavo, provide verses on “Slide”, with Quavo’s being more of a transition and bridge from the moody slow drone of Frank Ocean’s lead vocal to Offset’s energetic verse, which proves him as more than a trap rapper, who can star on a disco song and steal the limelight from one of the best R&B singers of the past few years. They also provide great quotables.

Mama too hot like a (like a what?) / Mama too hot like a furnace (furnace)

B****es be dippin’, dancin’ with n***as like a nacho

Like a nacho? Huh?

The song itself is about someone who just wants to enter a richer man’s life, but also about a Picasso painting.

I might empty my bank account / And buy that boy with a pipe

I don’t know, and I don’t care because this song rules, as does “Swalla”, with Jason’s vocals fleeting over the upbeat instrumental, right before the excellent drum fill, which is more of a breakdown than anything, but not just a drum breakdown – a breakdown in sanity and a crazy moment in this party that doesn’t feel full until this insane drum fill, which fits perfectly with Ty Dolla $ign’s verse, but the true star here is Nicki.

Bad girl, no swalla nuttin’, word to young Dalai Lama

Her verse is fire, nothing else to say, truly one of the best verses she’s ever written.

Bless her heart, she throwing shots, but every line sucks

Let’s be fair, Remy Ma, you got bodied on not one but two hit singles. You’ve lost. Overall, two flabbergastingly great tracks.

But they’re still not the best hit songs of 2017.

#1

I may be breaking rules here but nonetheless, I believe this was the best hit song of 2017.

#1 – Lorde – “Green Light”

Nah, just kidding, it’s the joke song about the girl with the thicc booty.

#1 – Aminé –“Caroline”

The reason I do Reviewing the Charts and the reason I’m making this list is partially to analyse, review, talk about and share my opinion on pop music and culture, but what I really attempt to do is make you laugh, make you entertained, because that’s what we all want, right? At our very core, we want entertainment, and I don’t think any song this year is more entertaining than this.

Bad thing (s**t), fine as hell (whoa), thick as f**k

Over the beat that blends trap and old-school hip-hop synths pretty greatly, Aminé throws some lighthearted shade as he comically condemns one of rap’s longest-surviving lyrical mainstay, loving a woman only for her appearance, as he over exaggerates how careless he is for this woman to hilarious proportions.

Caroline, listen up / Don’t wanna hear about your horoscope / Or what the future holds / Just shut up and shut up and let’s get gory

There are some incredible quotables here as well, like this...

Holy s**t, I’m really lit

...and my personal favourite lyric of the year.

You say I’m a tall thug, guess I’m a G-raffe

That is the corniest yet also most outstanding pun I’ve ever heard a rapper spit.

If you want safe sex, baby, use the knee pads

Aminé manipulates his voice in some of the most interesting ways a pop-rapper has, and sounds great, especially when he’s singing on the chorus and then immediately goes to rapping about the girl again, like going from Ray Charles to Ying Yang Twins, or Ne-Yo to Ray William Johnson.

The reason this is on the list isn’t just because it’s funny, no, it’s because of his performance on the Tonight Show.

9/11, a day that we’re never forgetting / 11/9, a day that we’re never regretting / If my president is Trump, then it’s relevant enough / To talk ‘bout it on TV and not give a (f**k) / I’m black, and I’m proud / My skin is brown, and I’m loud

The outro of his performance is one of the best uses of someone’s platform to speak out against Trump I’ve ever seen. Nobody expects the one-hit wonder who eats a bunch of bananas in his music video to be talking about this, and to use his fifteen minutes to spread the word to millions of people on The Tonight Show is a very smart decision to use your fame. Make a difference before you fizzle out, or you’ll burn away without changing anyone’s life, without affecting anyone, which is the whole point of entertainment and art, to make a change in someone’s life who enjoys the music, or the films, or the art. It’s better that Aminé leaves his career as a one-hit wonder because I cannot imagine any better way to leave than this. Aminé, you’re divine, and your song is mighty fine. I’m out!

You can never make America great again / All you ever did was make this country hate again.