#Humans being humans

[kurara-black-blog]

I just love the "they're more scared of you than you are of them" thing because, yeah, Earth is a Deathworld filled with very dangerous beings, but also everyone in it is scared and would rather not interact with each other unless necessary

Alien: This is a very dangerous animal!

Human: Don't worry, we'll just walk away.

Alien: But it's watching us!

Human: It's hoping we leave already, so we're leaving.

Alien: It... It is?

Human: Yeah, it is more scared of us than we are of it. Let's go before the fight instinct kicks in because then it'll become a dangerous animal

Alien:...

[deliciouslinks]

I want a humans are weird fic where aliens realize humans will try to romance/sleep with anything. I want colossal aliens getting blushy by a human whispering sweet nothings in there ear. Eldritch level horror of aliens that most of the galactic can't stand to look at be blatantly flirted by a human. I need thissss

[witchofthesouls]

Human eating something spicy: Good food

Cybertronian: You're actively burning and poisoning yourself. Stop eating that

Human: Mmm capsaicin

Cybertronian: I said stop eating that!

Chilis are too obvious and kind to them. Of course, the space aliens are highly concerned by spice challenges, especially with humans attempting to breed hotter, spicier peppers... as a fun hobby.

("Isn't capsaicin the active ingredient in pepper spray?" "Yes. But people enjoy eating spicy food.")

Cybertronians would be blown away by how much agriculture transformed human civilizations... as well as be boggled between humans' ability to endure extreme conditions, yet be so damn bodily fragile and inefficient.

Genetics have never looked so wild in the botanical community. Like yes, space alien, many vegetables are related. It's dependent on the area of concentration to painfully cultivate it for hundreds to thousands of years because some regions wanted something more leafy, while others focused on the pods or roots.

And yes, space alien, many cultivated foods had derived from poisonous origins. Animals (including humans) figured to circumvent it through evolutionary adaptations or utilizing methods to draw out the toxins.

Cybertronians can be impressed by how humans managed to figure that out in the countless preparation and cooking processes in different cuisines across various cultures... yet slap their helms because their funky, little squishy is having so many health issues because of the lack of Vitamin D or a Candida infection, so Cybertronians will unironically go "touch grass" with their assigned/favorite human.

(Cue confused Cybertronian noises when their human explains sunscreen and cancer.)

And fungi, like mushrooms, are a mindfuck within itself as a kingdom to both Cybertronians and humans.

This isn't delving into how other Earth organic species can't consume certain human foods due to toxicity, like dogs and chocolate.

[luna-purple454]

An idea came to mind while I was looking through the "Humans are space orcs" tag.

It starts off as your classic "we kidnapped human/s for our space zoo" thing, but this time, the zoo was specifically made for viewing and visiting earth animals.

At first, the human would react as anyone else would. They'd scream, wail, fight, escape, etc.

But, once human/s see how the animals are treated, they immediately get overprotective of them. Whenever they tried to escape, the search would usually end in them finding the human/s inside a different animal cage.

The aliens confused by this, decide to buy a (very expensive) device that allows them to understand the human/s.

Turns out that the human/s are zoologists and made the aliens realise that they were treating the animals there wrong and that they just wanted to help the poor animals because apparently, the aliens weren't actually doing a great job on taking care of them.

[hihoace]

Sometimes I wonder why my best friend is still friends with me.

Like we are sitting here... On this abandoned space station, just the two of us. The heating system died like an hour ago. Since then we have been in our space suits. They keep us warm but... Not warm enough. I feel my body slowly getting colder and colder. And I know they feel like this too. We will be okay though. There is enough oxygen for days in the station and we are far away from hypothermia yet and the rescue will be here in any minute now. So I don't stress about it. Sure it is embarrassing that we miscalculated and now need help, but we will be okay. I did this a dozen of times.

But they are not that calm about it. Their hands are fidgety and I know them enough to understand: this is how the start of a panic attack looks like. So I slide closer to them and I put my arm around their shoulders. And I say the most obscure shit I can think of at the moment. And I whisper it into their ears.

"Would you like me to explain how hypothermia works?"

The utter shock on their face let's me know I am on the right track.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you?"

They ask, but I can see their whole body language changing they are no longer fidgeting with their hands, they are now completely calm and just confused and annoyed by me.

"Yeah, you know. Hypothermia. The thing we will be experiencing if no one comes in the next 24 hours."

They start to laugh. Maybe a bit hysterically but it's still a laugh. And laughing is good. It means they are out of it.

I smile at them. And then, there is light. And the well-known sound of a radio signal tuning into our station.

"Hey idiots! We are here for a pick up!" I hear a familiar voice.

"Thanks Tim!" I answer.

And we are saved.

"Sometimes I wonder why are we even friends." they say and they hug me. And I hug back.

"I love you!" I say with a smile.

"I love you too!" they say and laugh a little. "And thank you!" they don't have to specify why they are thanking me. We both know it is about the hypothermia.

[fluffer5]

How Protective Terrans Are

So... I might've dropped a few trauma bomb in my previous entries... but we won't further open those particular can of worms *smiles brightly while throwing the proverbial can at the traum-- ehem, garbage disposal*.

Anyways, this is my 5th entry to Humans Are Space Orcs! For today's human documentary, we're going to talk about what adult Terrans can and will do to you if you touch their young, family, close friends, pets, or special mementos given to them by a special someone (which doesn't have to be from a dead anybody or a romantic somebody). We all know people wouldn't hesitate to throw hands just to keep their people or stuff safe.

So, let's refer to my list, cuz it's easier to do lol. Again, I've used movies, series, podcasts, and a writer's angst-filled mind to type this. Should I warn the rest of you for further reading? I guess I should (I was so used to reading things without the warning that I'm sometimes confused of the TW tag on some stuff lol).

TW: Gore, violence, theoretical bodily harm even though I censored most of it, death, stabby people, bullying, the insanity train.

Kill the threat. Bit of an extreme one for the first thing to pop in my head, yes? But it is true. Wars were waged for lesser things. See this news article for one example: "Mom fatally shot home intruder to defend kids, she says". This one was published on August 18, 2022. In 2012, cuz I'm too lazy to search recent ones, there's another news articles featuring the same thing but focuses on a mother shooting an intruder to protect her 3-month-old baby. In 2015, an 11-year-old boy also shot an intruder trying to defend his 4-year-old sister from possible harm. I could go on and on about this but in countries where guns are not accessible, the next possible thing to use in defense would've been something sturdy and blunt or something extremely sharp. Actually, if we were in a time wherein tribes or kingdoms exist instead of cities, I can surely say that killing their young would definitely put you and your family in said people's sh*t list.

Fight the threat. Whether is be physically punching them on the face of the place where the sun doesn't shine, nobody cares as long as the deed of letting them know their place is done. Exhibit A that a lot of us know would be bullies ganging up on a younger sibling in school. We know that younger sibling are the proverbial pain in the *ss of older siblings. It's a love-hate relationship between them. But it's also an unsaid rule that only the older siblings can threaten or push around younger siblings. Anyone else touching them aside from the close family ties should be prepared to taste someone's fist. Or feet. Or the pavement. You get the gist of it. Though as long as the child in question can take care of the bullying on their own (which I did in my experience) then the parents or older sibling would gladly back off until the time they notice that things are going too far. Though, sadly, some kids prefer not to talk about their problems which leads to behavioral issues in the future, sorta trying to get attention from their elders but in a negative way.

Threaten the threat. I see this as the tamer version of protection actually lol. I don't know about other countries but in my country, the smart kids in school can threaten your life as a student. We have the usual bling-bling kids with the money and huzzah but they don't last long in the face of being a social pariah at school. They can throw money all they want but the smart kids wouldn't be threatened at all cuz they hold the key to higher GPA. Even the teachers complain about them nerds but action speaks loud and their compilation of evidence speaks louder lol. You'd be lucky if the nerd assigned to you has the patience of a saint cuz if not... well, I've had to stop fights from breaking out from simple arguments. Not just in school though. If you've got connection in higher places then that could also be a way to threaten someone (it does happen in real life so it isn't far-fetched). Though it is more effective to threaten the threat if you're in the same place as them. Another thing would be holding blackmail on said person (though that only works if they're not an immediate threat). If you have enough social influence, well, you can destroy their entire life without touching them even once.

Torture the threat. A friend says I'm too kind for ending their lives easily. Well, watching too many action and horror films prepared me for this part lol. I don't know which one would be done but interrogators have done the worst to get information from their victim. Too gory for this though and I don't know how many kids or emotional teens are in here so I have to censor a ton of the juicy details. Let's say it would be a bit similar to Saw, Jigsaw, and war interrogations. Chemicals, acids, peeled skin, salt, knives, and hammers might also be in place. Just know that it would be a bloody, unforgiving event that would take place in that particular room with that unfortunate victim.

Play the long game. Another said killing them quickly was... well... too quick XD. This one centers heavily on having money and patience. Know who the threat is, where they live, who they interact with, and what makes them tick. For this to work, you need to give up who you were before and settle on anonymity. This is... a bit more drastic than torture but works well if you have too much hate in your chest or the deed done was something you can never forgive. It's more on watching them physically suffer with their injury or doing the threatening on their family (gets messy very fast), but since this threat had amassed A LOT of enemies, they won't exactly know who did the evil deed on them. Shoot them on their legs, feet, and shoulder. Their spine if you're a good shot and know where to hit. Places that aren't close to their vital organs but would render them disabled. You'll let them live, but it will be a life of pain and agony.

Talk to the threat. The most peaceful type and probably the most boring out of this chaotic list > v <. This should be the first thing we do and not escalate to violence if some of us can help it. Again, your patience and wit will be tested here. If your threat is minor (like another child), then talking to their guardian would help with keeping the problem from going through a rollercoaster ride. Sometimes that doesn't work and the problem turns into an adult fight.

In summary, you have 2 kinds of Terrans. One would shoot before asking; the other would talk before shooting. Which is why you should never step on this particular deathworld if you were thinking about making Terran slaves or using our young in experimentation. We haven't given chase on aliens yet. Don't make yourselves the first intergalactic specie the Terrans would obliterate.

Meanwhile in a fast approaching spacecraft...

This alien reading this How To Deal With Terrans manual : Why did we want to go to this deathworld again?

Another alien turning yellow from anxiety : To befriend them and learn about the resident Terrans?

Yet another alien wilting as they feel faint from the information : Oh, thank the stars we won't be terrorizing them.

The alien commander whose frills are flaring in alarm as they read through the unredacted version of the manual : They will torture and skin us for taking their young and their pets?!

This particular scientist whose skins are changing colors in excitement : See? I told you their famous quote of "If predator not friend, why friend shape?" also applies to them!

[ramblingoftheday]

journals

i love how personal journals reflect how we think as individuals. Like the content yes but the format of said content tells so much about a person.Every journal gives you a peek into what goes on in its owner's mind. Are their thoughts organised? do they like visuals more than writing? do they prefer talking to the world or talking to them selves? are they more comfortable in expressing themselves through art and pictures or do they feel better understood through words? or is it a mix of both. Do they care if their art/writing has a solid structure (a begining and an end, title pages etc) or are they just someone who goes with the flow. Do they write to release or do they decorate it to be art. It's crazy how these subtle details act like "body language" of the mind.

[onbearfeet]

I'm making my roommate a cloak (because he saw me working on one for my nephew's school event and was like I WANT ONE TOO) and every choice he's made about it so far is unhinged and delightful. He's kind of a minimalist in his personal taste, and this cloak is maximalist in the best way.

He started by saying he wanted wool, so I showed him the price for that and we ended up with a pretty nice polyester coating fabric instead. But THAT meant more color options, so he selected a bright royal blue. Again, not what I expected.

Other options that I didn't expect him to take me up on, but he did:

-a giant-ass hood that can completely hide his face

-faux silk lining

-slits in the side seams so he can put his hands out if he wants

-pockets EVERYWHERE, including secret ones

-gold embroidery on all the hems with a pretty braid pattern

-an ornate gold-tone clasp

I asked him repeatedly (for practical reasons) where he was planning to wear it. Tolkien event? Renfaire? Nope, he just wants a really cool wizard cloak. Just to have it. Maybe keep off a light rain with it.

He's SO HAPPY about it, guys. He tried it on tonight for hemming and I thought he was going to tear a facial muscle smiling.

Find you something that makes you as happy as a blue wizard cloak.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

it/its pronouns are so beautiful?

[I've seen some well meaning people be like "I don't use it/its pronouns because I don't want to degrade that person or objectify 'them'" but king that's misgendering mate it's the opposite of respecting that person. I used to feel worried when I used those pronouns for people too coz of all the associations with it, I mean I still used it, but I was worried about the objectifying]

BUT for a long while now ive been realising how beautiful those pronouns are.

"it" isn't degrading

My god, look at that human over there. It's so cute! Holy shit it saw me I hope it likes me I want to be friends. It's coming toward me! It smiled at me! I'm so happy.

Look at that person over there. It's very smart and it doesnt like loud noises so it wears headphones all the time to cancel out the noises. It's not very sociable, and thats okay! It'll be happy if I give it a cup of coffee though. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to go up to it and hand it a cappuccino though it's a stranger.

Look at that girl there. It is a girl and it uses it/its pronouns, and it wishes people would respect that. People uses to objectify it all the time for being a girl. Then people would blame it for objectifying itself. But it has now reclaimed its identity, and it knows that it is a human being and it is also an object and idea, in other words, the girl is whatever it wants to be. It is "it" the same way a beautiful storm is just before it hits, a wave is when it crashes into the shore, an animal is when it burrows out of the ground to sniff at the air. And that is how the girl views itself, and it's not a bad thing to change because of things that have happened to it.

See that old man there? It's tired and it would like to see the beach one day before it dies. It took a while for it to understand all these new pronouns, and when it heard of it/its, something clicked and it just knew that it had finally found out its identity after all these decades. It's looking forward to telling its partner in heaven.

pronouns aren't always the same as gender, and they aren't always different. So many different people and identities and stories.

It/its is beautiful.

[letgoofthatego]

i wish she was kind.

[gardeningintrests]

Humans are weird : illusion of sound.

I'm pretty sure everyone here has at least experienced hearing sounds that aren't there. like someone calling your name or a distinct sound of your door opening.

now, I'm not sure if animals has this as well but i would assume no because of their prey and predator instinct. they cannot afford to have illusions of sounds because that is where they hear where their predator/prey is.

so lets assume only humans have this. We hear people call our names when they really didn't is like a body reaction when your parents call you and then waits for you to come down only speak.

ngl i hate it very much

so how would aliens react to this?

just a random day where the group of maaktraks got a new human crew member! they were very excited and made loads of preparations for the human!

the human officially joined the crew about a few days ago, but something is off about this human. We have made sure that they have no mentality problems we have to take note of, but it seems like the human will randomly scream a word that apparently according to the human guide book a sign of aggression especially with the tone he uses.

now we don't understand said problem, so we reach out to the captain to address this worrying condition.

"oh? the human seems fine to me, pretty hard working too."

"yes, captain. but it just sometimes the human will make noise of anger ad frustration after yelling the word "what" and its getting very worrying. do you think we need to ask the humans what's wrong?"

"the guide book does say that if we were to speak to the human and address problems is better than being on the sidelines, so i guess i will leave this matter to you."

"yes captain"

during lunch time, the crew voted that i, xinederlk will be the one asking. what a great day.

im terrified, it had only been a few days since the human arrived, we do not know if this human is calm or the aggression type. looking at the frustrated yells, i would assume the aggression type, but the human guidebook said that each and every human is unique and that we do not judge the human by its first appearance.

i approached the human

"hello human Adam?"

"? oh hello there team leader! what brings you here to the human cafeteria?"

"well, me and me crew has something to ask actually."

"oh? is it about the rear engine? don't worry about it, staklorn has fixed it a while ago."

"no no none of that dear human Adam"

"then what's the issue?"

Human Adam seems to be in a much more serious tone now, maybe that proves his professionality in task taking fields. humans are known to multitask after all.

" well, Human Adam sometimes yell the word "what" even when nothing is going on. and the crew and i are worried that there may be something upsetting you or making you say those words with frustration?"

"eh? frustration? you guys can know my feelings upon hearing my tone of voice?"

"that seems to be in our ability"

"man... well to say eh problem isn't actually any of the crew or ships fault."

"then what is causing this frustration?"

"its just that..i grew up in a strict home alright? My parents would call me and then never answer me until i am in front of them. that gets me very frustrated because something that could've been communicated through voice easily now needs to walk down stairs and look my parents in the face before telling me to clean my room."

"..."

"so now that I've grown up, my body is toggled to hear said sounds with no response because of the habit of my parents putting it on me since young. so I'm very sorry for the inconvenience"

"..."

"..."

"too much?"

that day xinederlk learned a lot about strict parenting

[witchofthesouls]

Okay, so cybertronians can only drink energon, usually referred to as the blood of Primus, meaning they're basically vampires. Well, it's a common joke that the symptoms of being a vampire is anti Italian. Unicron literally grows garlic.

Ergo, Cybertronians are vampires and Unicron is space Italy.

Even better, anon, I raise up other anti-vampire mechanisms from traditional folklore, like can't cross running water and hate sunlight.

Earth is mainly water, right down to its inhabitants and wildlife. There are places on Earth where the sun is 24/7, not to mention the fluctuations depending on the time of year where there are loooooong day hours. Unicron subconsciously and furiously built defenses to ward away his twins' parasites. He's that damn salty. Joke's on the Unmaker because it gave rise to Earth's general weirdness to be a Space Australia and a Space Italy.

And that explains the weird fuckery across universes when it comes to Earth.

[lpa6zn]

Photos of people in the Victorian era goofing around

[charliespringsleftconverse]

Sometimes I’m like “Wow, people are awful” but today on my flight there was a baby crying and the parents were getting a bit anxious themselves not wanting to make the rest of the passengers uncomfortable with a screaming baby. But random people, clearly parents and grandparents themselves, came up to the couple and took turns entertaining the baby and walking up and down the aisle to distract the baby. And. Anyway. Shit like this fills my heart ❤️

[you-are-valid-and-deserve-love]

The thing that really gets me about humanity is the kindness that follows tragedy and coming together as a community and loving each other

When the Titanic sank, the Carpathia raced to provide any help they could. They didn't have to, certainly, no one expected them to, but they did

and when the Mont Blanc exploded in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada one man Patrick Coleman went back to his post to warn the railways to stop the trains preventing hundreds from dying

on 9/11 there were 38 planes that had nowhere to land so the Air traffic controllers had them land in Canada in a small town called Gander and all the people there banded together to provide shelter and food for all the 6,000+ passengers on the planes

in a small town in Minnesota, USA 20 people lined up to give CPR to a man who had had a heart attack until paramedics could arrive and saved his life because of it

thousands of years ago somebody cared for a person who had broken their leg, which would usually be a fatal injury, and nursed them back to health

every tragedy has a kindness in it, people helping others in the face of loneliness, desperation, and destruction

and then there is the kindness we show when no huge tragedy has happened but life has happened instead

An adult in the time of King Tut made in him a tunic with ducks on it and a chest with ducks and sandals and earrings with ducks because he loved them so much

people take time out of their day to help an old person cross the street

chasing after somebody because they dropped something and you are trying desperately to return it

leaving food for homeless people

caring for others through an illness

and then there is the community

humans banding together

singing together, a sad tragic song and making it happy and soothing because they are singing it together

humans coming together to let someone buy back their farm at auction

helping one another, being kind and loving each other in the face of tradegy and despair this is what it means to be human