the first sixtieth anniversary special: the doctor and donna are back!!!! trans people are awesome!!!! it鈥檚 rough at first, but it鈥檒l be ok (minus coffee making the tardis malfunction) <333
the second sixtieth anniversary special:
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sometimes i just remember that merlin and arthur are canonically soulmates...like that's the main point of the entire show, their destiny is each other
then i just start crying.
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I'm never getting over how sick he looks
It's a very dull looking scene, almost grayscale. That choice shows you just how sickening this mission is to Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan is hunched over, head between his knees. He looks physically sick. Everyone looks to him, he can say 'no,' but how could he possibly deny them? His life is the Jedi, and in the pursuit of peace he's asked to do something he cannot but a Jedi Master can, without question, Obi-Wan Kenobi can and he must.
The second shot, that's the face of resignation. He can't even speak, you can see he almost opens his mouth but all he can do is nod. This is where we see the line of duty and the individual. When challenged, Obi-Wan chooses the light, at the expense of himself, at the expense of those he loves.
He knows Anakin will never forgive because when challenged, Anakin doesn't choose the light, he chooses who he loves. And Obi-Wan cannot tell Anakin that choosing those you love isn't the correct choice.
This is the hero sacrificing you to save the world, this is Obi-Wan sacrificing himself, sacrificing Anakin for the greater good. But what's so good about letting your best friend think you've slipped away into death, mere feet from his grasp? Where's the good in watching someone you love die?
Obi-Wan remembers watching Qui-Gon's last breath leave his body, he never recovered. Where's the good in knowing all the pain your about to put your best friend through? The good in always seeing your ghost?
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
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Every single time I see THE KISS, it's like Chenford's entire history flashes before my eyes. DOD, the hugs, the close calls on the job, the intense looks, the dance, etc. And it washes over me once more that Tim "WHERE ARE YOU, BOOT?" Bradford is kissing Lucy "Oh gag" Chen in the softest way imaginable.
It is OVERWHELMING.
It is BEAUTIFUL.
I have in no way recovered from it! 馃槶馃槶馃槶
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continue being normal about this!
Eda and King are in PAIN!
Yet they still make sure Collector is protected and out of harms way. i am losing my mind here
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