#I Could change how I walk but tbh what’s the point? I don’t care enough to

[deityofhearts]

the way I walk is great because I can get around without being heard which is very fun and silly but also. I look fucking stupid

[rafesgoldrings]

after rewatching most of s2, I noticed that rafe always ends his sentences with “okay” for like reassurance or to see if they understand him and it honestly makes me feel bad. so may I request like the reader reassuring rafe? doesn’t matter the plot tbh

(it can angst-y or light hearted, i’m just in the mood to be sad😭)

It was getting exhausting being with Rafe. You loved him so much, but ever since all the shit with Ward went down he changed. All he cared about was the gold, Barry had started coming around more and the two of them would disappear for hours, days even. Then they’d come back and throw a party, get drunk and high off their asses, and Rafe would act like nothing was wrong in your relationship. Each time you tried talking to him about it, he’d just brush you off and tell you he was handling shit. But that wasn’t enough anymore, you couldn’t keep doing this with no proper explanation.

“Rafe” he’d come home late again, not even saying hello to you as he walked into your bedroom, pinning you down and kissing up and down your neck trying to take off your shirt. Acting like sex would magically fix whatever was going on, but not this time. He kept kissing up your neck, not paying any mind to your solemn tone.

“Rafe, stop” your hands moved to push him away, watching his face screw up in confusion. “What? What’s wrong?” how one person could be so oblivious was beyond you. What wasn’t wrong?

“We need to talk, please. I’m begging you to just talk to me” the pure pleading tone you spoke with broke his heart. He knew that he’d been absent, had been pushing you away, but talking about it made everything going on real, and making it real meant he had to deal with the emotions and consequences that came with that.

“Look, I-I’m trying to take care of us okay? I’m trying to take care of you” he rubbed at his temples frustrated, you didn’t understand. Why did nobody understand that he was just trying to take care of shit?

“But you take care of me other ways Rafe. Like when you acknowledge my existence as more than just sex on legs. When you actually talk to me and treat me like your girlfriend, when you take me on dates, when you come home and we take turns cooking dinner. That’s taking care of me” you shook your head, you knew this was a 50/50 scenario. He was going to either actually listen to you and the two of you would work on it, or pick a fight that would be the final blow to your already fragile relationship.

“No no no no…listen to me! I’m the one taking care of all this, me okay? Y-you just wouldn’t understand, you don’t know how much shit I have to deal with, how fucking hard it is” his voice was slightly raised now, standing in front of you pacing back and forth, but as soon as you flinched when he pointed his finger in your face, he broke.

Tears streaming down his face, sobs wracking his body making it hard for him to breathe, arms wrapping around you as he collapsed to the ground and placed his head in your lap. It broke your heart seeing him this way, seeing the strong tough exterior he put on finally crack, the way he was being so vulnerable with you. You placed your hands on his head, cradling it, telling him it was okay. You were here, he was okay, he could trust you.

“It’s too much. I don’t know how much more of this shit I can take” it came out muffled, but you heard. You swear you could hear your heart shatter.

“Then stop trying to do it alone. Stop trying to act like you’re okay, you’re not okay Rafe. It’s going to take time before everything is going to be alright, you just have to let me in Rafe, let me help you” he raised his head from your lap, his sad eyes staring directly into your pleading one’s

“Okay” it sounded so defeated, but also like relief. Relief he had someone who cared about him for once, who wanted to make sure he knew he wasn’t alone in this, who loved him enough to call out his bullshit.

You pulled him into a gentle kiss, hands cupping his cheeks as you felt him gently push you back into the bed. He crawled on top of you and peppered kisses down your jaw and neck before you pushed him away again.

“Let me take care of you tonight. Let me show you how much I love you” flipping the two of you over so you were now on top. Gently undoing the buttons on his shirt, you bent your head down to gently kiss the exposed skin.

“Going to make you feel so good baby. Help you forget all your problems tonight”

Tag List: @sweetestdesire @congratsloserr @xyzstar @dreamingwithrafe @madelynie @outerbankspov

[twotitsjohndecaon]

Brighton Rock | Nothing 'Ere Need Come Between Us

Hey besties!!! So sorry I disappeared for like a rlly long time. I got depression and then recovered from depression but we're back and thriving now!!! Here is the last part of the series, long awaited. tbh haven't read this shit in like a year so I hope it's ok but it should be :) Hope y'all enjoy :))

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Filthy smut. Bad. Xtremely dirty. 18+ only, dni in any form if you're under 18 I'm dead serious. Blatant infidelity and cheating, if you're not ok w reading about that this also isn't for you. Some sad/mad emotions for a brief time. Maybe some drinking and swearing, I can't remember for sure. You have been warned.

“Where’ve you been for two hours?” Julie interrogated. You were flustered, not even thinking about the fact they might be back and you were gone longer than you should’ve. 

“I… got the sun cream, tried to walk back, but then I couldn’t find you all, so I looked for you then came back.”

“We were in the same spot!”

“But I wasn’t paying attention on the way there!” Julie rolled her eyes. 

“What’s on your neck?” she said, seeing the marks Brian had left, even though they were small. You hadn’t realized there’d been any. 

“Nothing. My skins just sensitive right now,” you said, your hand flying to your neck and clasping over the side of it. You sighed, changing and taking a quick shower, trying to position your hair to cover your neck. You hadn’t brought anything to cover it either, so you groaned and went back in the room, muttering you were going to take a nap, exhausted after your encounter, understandably. You had to be more careful, but you also didn’t know how else you could see Brian without suspicion. Luckily, Julie was still young enough to not realize a love bite right away, and she was in her “I don’t care” phase anyways so she dropped it pretty easily. But that and with the call earlier and your other disappearing acts, you worried she’d put everything together soon. You sighed as you tried to fall asleep, willing the thought to go away, and for her to be oblivious. You woke up, had dinner, and went to bed early still. Waking up early, you changed silently as Julie slept and snuck out to meet Brian. Luckily the heatwave made it so that the morning wasn’t frigid in any way, and you happened to run into Brian in the foyer as you went to leave.

“Ah, good,” Brain said, seeing you. You smiled at each other, happy to see him again. Time with your family was nice, so was time alone, but something about time with Brian seemed even easier and more enjoyable. “Look at you,” Brian whispered softly, giving you a quick kiss. Your chest fluttered for a moment. You only indulged him for a second before breaking away, fearful of getting caught somehow. 

“Shall we?” You offered. Brian assented and the two of you headed to the beach. “Where should we set up?” You asked, trudging along the beach.

“Over there,” he said, pointing towards a more secluded corner near the wharf, almost obscured into the large posts holding the dock up. You thought it a bit strange, but it was nice still. Besides, you didn’t want this getting out more than he did. The two of you sat down and made yourselves comfortable. “Sorry to wake you up so early.” “It’s alright. I had an early night,” you said.

“Tired from something?”

“I can’t imagine what,” the two of you sneakily smiled to each other and laughed. The sun rose further and its first true rays peaked out from behind the clouds and you sighed happily at the warmth. Brian admired you, and you could see him looking in your peripherals. To tease him further, you took off the light t-shirt you’d been wearing to cover your bikini top and tossed it aside, leaning down. You could hear Brian exhale softly at this, and his next move was scooting forward a bit, lifting your head, and placing it on his lap. 

“This good?” he asked, smiling down at you and brushing your hair away from your face. You smiled.

“Yeah,” you assented softly. You loved the little gestures he was making. In fact, you loved how Brian made you feel most of the time. He made you feel wanted and desired wholly, in softness and in lust. One moment he went from staring at you like he was going to devour you to the next, his gaze shifting, and then looking at you innocently as if you were the sun. You weren’t afraid of these feelings, even if they were rare and hard to shake. You knew this would be over soon, and you decided you might as well let yourself feel everything in your limited time together. Brian looked up, squinting towards the sea and sun. It was so quiet and peaceful, it being so early meaning that no one else had really come out to the beach yet. The only sounds were the waves. He looked thoughtful.

“What’re you thinking about?” you asked softly. He smiled.

“Do you know why the waves push and pull?”

“Because of the moon?”

“Kind of. The moon controls the tide, not the waves. That’s the wind. But do you know why the moon controls the tides?” he asked. You were quiet for a second.

“No, I guess not.” Brian looked down at you excitedly. He pulled your shoulders up and leaned his head down near yours so you were cheek to cheek and could see from his perspective.

“Well, the moon and the Earth are both rotating all of the time, and they’re rotating in the same direction. And the moon and the Earth have a gravitational pull on each other. So when the moon passes over some place on Earth, some place with water, that gravitational pull makes the water bump out towards the moon and on the side of the world directly opposite the moon. That’s what makes high tide. And when the moon isn’t over some place, it’s low tide,” Brian whispered to you, his voice going softly into your ear. “Make sense?” 

“Yeah,” you said, entranced by him. Brian looked at you, still looking out to the sea and decided to continue. 

“But— but the moon and the Earth, since they’re rotating in the same direction, means that it takes a bit for one to catch up to the other. So when there’s high tide, the moon isn’t actually directly over that place yet. The tides a little early,” he finished, hugging you to him.

“Wow. How do you know all of that?” you asked.

“I studied astrophysics in school a while ago,” he finished. 

“Well, that’s really something special,” you said, looking deep into your eyes. Ok. Maybe you did have to be afraid of these feelings. Because they were starting to feel very, very deep and hard to shake.

“I think you’re pretty special,” he said, looking at you deeply before kissing you. You melted into him this time, feeling the sun and joy upon his lips and it all felt like Brian. The two of you sat and talked lazily for a while longer before the mass of people started filing into the beach, and the two of you decided to go and walk down the promenade. The two of you were quiet, knowing that your outing together for the day would have to end soon again, both of you upset at this. You didn’t want to leave Brian, and you nothing seemed as good as being with him. He turned you around, holding your hands. The sun beat down on your backs.

“I’m terribly sorry sweetheart, but I really must go,” Brian said sorrowfully. Your face crumpled, and you nodded.

“I should too,” you said over the loud tourists now, the seagulls squawking, children playing, and people eating and mingling. Brian was about to tear away. “I don’t—“ you started. He turned back towards you and grabbed your hands tighter. “I don’t want you to go,” you said more clearly now. Brian sighed, rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles. 

“I don’t want to go either. I wish there was a way…” he trailed off, knowing there wasn’t one and he couldn’t finish that sentence.

“Can we find one?” you asked. Brian thought for a moment. 

“Shit,” he whispered for a second, rubbing his forehead with one of his hands, seemingly stressed for a moment before grabbing your hand again. He looked around, like he was fearful of being watched. You supposed you were too. He looked back to you. 

“Yes. I don’t know about finding a way— I can’t think of one right now, but I need to see you again. I— ok, come to the room again. Tonight for dinner.”

“How am I gonna get out of dinner?” You questioned, more to yourself. This seemed to be the only way to see Brian, but you didn’t know how you’d be able to weasel your way out of that one again. 

“I’m not sure, I’m sorry. But it’s the only time— I’ll have to make something up myself,” he finished. You were too preoccupied with your own problem to ask what that meant. “Same room as last time. I’m sorry it’s so difficult, but it’s the only time I can again,” he said, truly looking sorry but desperate to see you. You were a bit desperate too already for the next time you’d see him. This wouldn’t be fun to break once you left Brighton. You nodded.

“I’ll find a way,” you said. Brian and you looked at each other for a moment, not wanting to break away, unable again to do so. 

“Fuck it,” Brian whispered quickly before grabbing you and giving you a deep kiss. Once he pulled away, you had to smile. You couldn’t help it. That did it. 

“See you tonight,” you said, finally able to break away and hurried back to the hotel for breakfast. 

“Hi Julie, just have to change from my run before I head down,” you said, trying to avoid questions from the start as you walked into your room. 

“Whatever,” she said, flopping on her bed for a few moments as she waited for you to change quickly. You did so and headed down to breakfast, no questions asked. You went along with whatever shenanigans your family had planned for the day, and then it was nearly time. 

“Think I’ll sit out this dinner,” you commented just before your aunt and uncle parted ways to freshen up for the meal. Everyone paused, looking at you. 

“Y/N, it’s our last dinner, nonsense!” said your aunt.

“Really, the food’s not sitting with me well. I think it’s from eating out so much during this trip,” you said. Your aunt and uncle looked at you. 

“Well, you don’t have to eat if you don’t feel well, but you’ll at least sit with us. We want your company,” said your uncle. Fuck. It wasn’t working.

“I— really can’t,” you said, clamming up. 

“Why not?” Asked Julie.

“Y/N, what’s the matter?” Your aunt asked.

“You can tell us, is this why you’ve kept disappearing from time to time?” Asked your uncle. You felt terrible for lying, especially when they were being so kind and had been for even taking you on this trip. You had to think of something, right now, right in this moment. 

“I— I’m not alright! I’ve... well, this trip has been very special to me,” you said, calming down. Everyone was focussed straight on you, and all of your anxiety about Brian and everything for this moment gave you a saving grace. Your eyes became watery. You didn’t cry, but were visibly on the verge of it. 

“And, uh, I’m sad about going soon. Very upset. And truth is, I feel like I’ve made a… special connection to Brighton while I’ve been here, and I wanted to take one last walk around in the daylight. Alone. Before tomorrow. Just to connect,” you said. You paused, gauging the reactions. It was some of the greatest bullshit which has ever spewed from your lips, but after a moment:

“Aw, lovely, why didn’t you just say so?” Said your uncle. 

“We’re so glad we were able to give you such a touching experience. And that we’ve been able to spend more time with you,” said your aunt, pulling you into a hug. Somehow, it seemed to have worked.

“Sorry— I would’ve told you. It was just… hard for me to conceptualize,” you said. You felt even worse for lying now that they were being so accepting and caring about your feelings and you were taking advantage of theirs. But what had to be done had to be done. 

“We understand. Go, have your special moment. We’re so grateful you’ve come on our holiday,” said your aunt. They departed, leaving just with Julie. You went into the room, and sat on your bed, willing her not to comment on anything, even though you knew there wasn’t any real hope for that. The door closed, and she looked at you with contempt, hands on her hips, accusatory.

“You expect me to believe that for one second?” she said, voice high. 

“Julie! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” you said, done with all of her antics by this point. 

“You might have convinced them, but I know you’re hiding something. You keep appearing, doing strange things, strange calls… tell me right now what’s going on or I’ll tell my parents you’re lying,” said finished. You still felt bad for lying, but played into your part. She didn’t really have anything on you, to your knowledge. 

“There’s nothing to tell, Julie,” you said angrily. “I’m not lying.” Julie glared at you, and changed, now in a mood. The two of you ignored each other, and she left without a word, slamming the door. You should’ve waited longer to be sure they were gone, really, but you couldn’t help yourself, almost immediately jumping up and heading to Brian’s room. You knocked on the door, and no one answered. You groaned frustrated, and already near tears from the confrontations from just earlier. You needed Brian now, needed him to make you feel ok like he always did, and he wasn’t answering. Where was he? You knocked again, and still nothing. Your breathing picked up, and you turned around, crossing your arms. Great. Now he was turning out to be all a lie as well, all of this for nothing. You can’t believe he really was going to ditch you. You were so stupid, believing him, you’d given him what he wanted and he’d left you high and dry, and brought your feelings into it as well. Why did you have to go on and catch feelings for him? Deep feelings, ones that—

“Sorry, I’m so sorry I’m late,” Brian said suddenly, running up to you, and reaching underneath your arm to unlock the door and push you in. You were so baffled, and Brian was so quick in closing the door, you nearly tripped inside, but once you straightened up, Brian tossed the keys down, and looked at you. “What’s the matter?” he asked. Nothing. It was nothing, because he was here and you were fine now. You shook your head, and walked towards the bed. The room looked a bit more lived in now than it had before, but it was still pretty clean, unmussed. Brian grabbed your waist from behind, and leaned down to your ear. “What’s wrong?” but you didn’t answer again, fine that he was here, and grabbed the back of his neck to kiss him. He kissed back, the two of you starting to make out intensely, the kiss deepening and your tongues falling into each others mouth, Brian sighing into your mouth. You kissed until the both of you were out of breath. 

“Want you,” you whimpered softly, trying to convey how much you needed Brian right now, and he needed you just as much. Brian nodded. He turned you around and began slowly undressing the two of you standing as you continued to kiss, the process being deeper than ever but the slowest it had been, not a ravenous hunger this time but an intense process of appreciation. Once Brian had gotten the two of you to your underwear, he sat back against the bed and you came to his lap. Your lips still never parted, both of you moving with each other to get you more and more ready. Eventually, Brian made a beautiful gasp into your lips, and that alit you, kissing down to his neck, to which he sighed, then down his chest to his stomach. You looked to him, grabbing the waistband of his boxers, making direct eye contact. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” he cooed in complete appreciation of what you were about to do. You removed his pants, and took him into your mouth slowly. Brian groaned softly, making the most gorgeous noises, and you took your time to taste as much of him as you could. He wove a hand into your hair, guiding you but not forcing you down, moaning softly, until he tugged on your head to bring you up. “Very lovely, darling, but I want to fuck you still,” Brian said. You just brought him in for another kiss, not being able to wait any longer. You needed him inside you, needed to feel how fantastic it was. You removed your final pieces of clothing and sank down onto him, the stretch sending you reeling in the best ways. Just when you felt like you were about to leave the moment, Brian grabbed your upper back, bringing you to his gaze, and encouraging you to move. You moved together, it being wonderful, and you were with him, and it was everything perfect. You looked into his eyes and he into yours the entire time. This was different from the other times, it wasn’t an animalistic fucking for only pleasure as the two of you had in the past, it was a connection this time, a language the two of you were making only between yourselves. Before you knew it, and far too quickly, you were close, and so was he, and the two of you shuddered, falling into each other and into bliss as the two of you finished. You pulled off of him, but stayed in his lap, kissing, and he only held you tighter, as tight as possible as the two of you came down. You couldn’t avoid it forever.

“I’m leaving tomorrow,” you blurted out suddenly. Brian pulled back, looking into your eyes, his eyes moving back and forth, seeing you were telling the truth. He was devastated. He didn’t expect to be, and neither did you, but it was the truth.  “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to be away from you,” you said. 

“I— I don’t want you to go either,” Brian said in near horror, thinking about the fact that this was the last time he could hold you. “No, there has to be something, has to be a way,” he whispered, looking down, trying to think of something. You both racked your brains. “Stay here, stay a little longer with me, even if your family goes, you can… you can stay in here,” he said. 

“I can’t do that. What will they say? What about my parents back home, when they find out I’ve stayed in Brighton?” 

“Why can’t they know?”

“They… they’ll never approve. They already think I’m some sort of crazed slut, and if they figure out I’ve met someone on holiday, not only will my aunt and uncle who’ve only treated me with kindness and understanding find out I’ve been lying to them, but my parents will… they’ll stop paying for my school. And I can’t afford it on my own, and I don’t know what I’ll do,” you said, panicked.

“Are you sure they wouldn’t?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, nearly beginning to cry. 

“Shit,” Brian said, sweeping his thumb under your eyes to prevent any tears from dripping down. “But you can’t go. I— fuck, I know this sounds crazy, but I suppose I’ll just say it. I know I’ve just met you and I know this is insane, but I think I love you. And you can’t leave, I can’t—,” Brian stopped, almost choking up himself. Your breathing stopped at his admittance, but then everything became more clear and more complicated at once.

“I think I love you too. But I don’t know what to do,” you said, crying more. Brian continued to wipe your tears. You stood up, getting dressed, getting ready to leave, because there was nothing else to do.

“Wait, Y/N, no,” Brian said, getting somewhat redressed himself quickly to stop you.

“Brian, I have to—“

“No, please,” he pleaded, grabbing your arm softly. 

“Brian, I have to!” you exclaimed, this already being too difficult a departure. Going back home would be absolute hell. Everything after this, the memories, everything, would be hell. 

“But why…”

“Because, I—!” you nearly shouted, stopping with a gasp. Brian was just about to ask what you’d stopped for, before he realized himself. His stomach dropped. You’d seen it. On the dresser, you couldn’t believe you hadn’t noticed it before. A wedding ring, a man’s wedding ring, sat there, gleaming in the rising moon. You felt sick. He couldn’t be. But the room changes. And the strange meeting times. The not wanting to be found out. And… everything, which was making sense now. You couldn’t believe it. Sure, he was older, but still, you couldn’t believe any of this had happened, that he’d allowed it, that you’d gone along with it so far, that the two of you had apparently fallen in love despite all of it. 

“Y/N,” he whispered in immense fear of what was going to happen next, how you’d react, and the realization of what he’d done setting in. Your breathing was shaky, and you couldn’t move for a moment before you turned around and faced Brian, the arm holding you falling limp. You looked into his eyes. It was a look of betrayal now, but of things making sense, and the next steps being clear now. You swallowed, and took a deep breath.

“Because,” you restated, in only a whisper now. “Because my family wouldn’t allow it. And I love you, but you’re already for someone else,” you finished. Brian held your hands again. He was quiet, not meeting your gaze, looking absolutely distraught. 

“I do love you,” he said. “I’m not lying.”

“I know. But you, you’re… married,” you choked out. 

“I’ll leave—,” Brian stopped himself, not wanting to make promises. He really did love you. But he had fucked up. You shook your head. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized. You gulped.

“I won’t say anything. But I wouldn’t have if… and, I suppose, it’s beneficial still if we both just forget it happened. Don’t let it get out,” you said. Brian hated this, and so did you. Nothing was right anymore. “Well, that’s all it ever was, wasn’t it? Just a holiday fling? A mindless, holiday fling?” you said.

“It wasn’t,” Brian said, and you both knew he was right. “But that’s what we’ll have to leave it as,” he conceded.

“How the memory will go,” you finished. You squeezed each others hands, took in each other for the last time. Now you both knew, this would never, ever work. It was a true shame.

“Goodbye, Brian,” you said.

“Goodbye, Y/N,” he said slowly after you. You gave one last look into each others eyes. You left, walking back to your room and having a big old cry. Brian wished he hadn’t looked into your eyes that final time. He wanted the gaze of love, so brief, to be the only one in his memory, forever, but now his last glimpse was all of the hurt he created.

The next morning, you were on the train back. You were silent the whole ride, and luckily Julie seemed to have dropped everything from the night before. It’d worked perfectly, you supposed. No one had found out. But nothing was as it should. You went back home, and so did Brian soon after you, and each of you went back to your normal lives, now a bit more broken inside.

*** 

Time, much time, had passed, and many things had changed. You still didn’t feel as alive as you had with Brian since then, and neither did he, but you were beginning to get back into the swing of things. The seasons had changed, it’d grown hot and cold, and you missed him still, even though everything had ended so messily. One day, much after everything, you had managed to stumble upon something on Brian, then taking to a friend finding out where he was last seen, then through a few calls and using your best sleuthing skills, you had seemingly found where you could reach him. You knew you shouldn’t but you couldn’t resist. It didn’t have to mean anything, and besides, what was a letter?

***

Brian, much after, came home at the end of a long day. He opened his letterbox out of habit, sifting through everything quickly and tiredly on his couch, before he sat up, wide eyed. 

“To Brian May, from Y/N L/N,” it read. Brian opened it quickly, reading and smiling at your familiar person, it coming through your writing. He was thrilled to hear from you, and you had included a return address. Brian wasted no time sending a letter back. 

It was all innocent, really. Genuinely. But couldn’t help your excitement as you opened your letter from Brian, before starting to pen another in response back. 

“Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside…” you quoted, starting your correspondence back. 

[notecapn]

Heizou from the arranged marriage au - again, by @throwingstuffhere, very inspiring, thank you

Ayato here for emotional support (and as a point of reference)

some thoughts on that under the cut (and close ups of the coloured Heizous)

i talked previously about this a bit, so there are going to be things i've said previously and a couple of new thoughts. but mostly just rambling

the design choices were made as if Heizou was an in-game character who frequently fights but still needs to look presentable

i’m still on the hakama pants for Heizou, and if not that, he’d probably ask to make the trousers loose (like slacks maybe), with all the splits Heizou can do they’d tear otherwise, unless the material is more flexible than how it looks on Ayato. but quite frankly they look just like normal ones, if a bit more expensive

i am, in fact, speaking from personal experience, dress trousers are very likely to tear if you try kicking something high above your waist level - especially if it's more than once, and i don’t imagine Heizou is very careful about this, and i think he’s used to more freedom in his leg work, or any body part actually, he has a lot of skin showing

as for everything else: it's pending, really.

the vision could be both on his right hip - just like Ayato, or his left one - sort of like it used to be, and mirroring Ayato and also kind of completing the Kamisato's vision placements: Ayato and Thoma on the right hip, Ayaka on her back and Heizou on his left. i also could be reading too much into things (or i'm actually not reading into this enough and it's very important for the characters where they place their visions: like how important their vision is to them, or there's symbolism of the placement, or it's just pure aesthetics)

i had half a mind to put Heizou in a pair of dancing shoes. they look so funky - i have no idea if they are comfortable or not and they look like they could slip off at any moment. for the record i am not planning on putting him in a pair of funky dancing shoes (for now)

tbh i didn't think too much about his footwear previously, i just thought to put him in some dress shoes like Ayato, even if those are not particularly comfortable - but it would be more painful if he delivers some sick kicks: physics of pressure, with the area being smaller and the force staying the same and all that

he could also go with geta (or sandals?) like Ayaka - which would also make sense. Ayato's job requires him to sit a lot so naturally he doesn't walk too much for the shoes to cause him any trouble, but if we're going with the assumption that Heizou tends to work best on foot (old habits die hard, you see), then he'd be miserable if he wore the shoes all the time. counterpoint, however, is that i don't want to draw toes, and i am a coward

also the coloured designs are what i'd consider his formal outfit: as far as my research goes, yukatas (which Heizou usually wears in the au from what i can tell) tend to be worn for less formal events, and it's at the very least not customary to wear yukatas under hakama pants, so..

also also it has been a while since i’ve properly worked with colour so i am extremely unsure how I want this to look, that is why there are two sets of colours of each design. and i don't even think i'm satisfied with that? and obviously the outfit can be a combination of the two styles, i just threw things at the wall to see what sticks

the first version is based on the one i've made previously, with some minor changes, like the Anemo inspired print on the pants and on the inside of the cloak (i don't know if it is noticable, there are sakura petals as well), and the arm guards (also yes, the red does not look very good on him, i just wanted to add something different, spice things up a little). and yes, i still imagine Heizou magically discarding the cloak when he attacks

(edit) additionally, Heizou with more blue in his palette:

the second one is very heavily leaning on Ayato's design, with less layers, loose trousers and a western shirt underneath. this one was done mostly to test out the coat and the trousers

and lastly: i'm not a historian or a fashion designer or a historian fashion expert. i have no idea what i'm doing other than looking at all the pictures available on the internet and drawing inspiration from that

and @raccoonwithacoffeeproblem, if you wish to see it

[prepare4trouble]

I don’t know if this is a weird thing to send, but I was scrolling through your blog and remembered a really early headcanon I had for Sammy and the Frogs. I remember imagining that Sam had been brought to Santa Carla to visit his grandparents once, or twice when he was really little. His memories are super hazy, but he does have a distinct memory of a pair of “mean looking girls”, who he would spot walking around the town unattended, holding hands. In fact these where the Frogs, who at the time had long hair and wore hippyish clothes like their parents. He did not connect up the memory with them until he was a grown man, and nearly fell out of his seat. I was wondering, if Sam had been moved to Santa Carla when they were all younger, before the Frogs thought anything of monsters, would the dynamic have been different?

Mean looking girls. 🤣 I love this. I wonder how he would have realised who they were. Maybe Mr and Mrs Frog give him access to some old family photo albums one day, Edgar and Alan are out of the room so can’t stop it, and he sees the pics of them as kids and it knocks the memory loose.

Sam would never stop teasing them about the pics, though he does feel a bit bad for laughing and maybe let thin look at his old photos to make things even. (I doubt he has changed much though tbh so they wouldn’t see a lot they could get back at him about)

Hmm I wonder at what point the Frogs changed from their parent’s hippie style to their own military-style look? And if Sam had already been in Santa Carla, what he might have said about it.

“Uh, guys… I know I said you need to lose the flower-child look, but I think you might have gone a bit too far in the other direction.”

How things would have been different if he had moved there earlier… I think he would definitely have known them. I don’t know how many schools there will be in Santa Carla, I get the impression it’s not a huge place, but probably big enough for there to be a couple of schools there. I like to assume they go to the same one though, because it helps for fic-writing purposes. Even if they don’t, they’re in the comic shop, and Sam loves comics, so they’d have met that way, just a few years ahead of schedule.

I feel lIke Sam isn’t the kind of kid who would fit into any one social group at school. I mean, he’s not the football player type, or a surfer, he’s into comic books, but not your traditional nerd, he’s probably the kind of kid who would have friends across a range of groups, and his comic obsession and kind nature would probably lead him to befriend the Frogs since firstly they might give him access to comics, and secondly, he would feel bad that they didn’t have any other friends (probably not caring that they didn’t want other friends).

So I think since the Frogs will become aware of the vampire activity in town in this AU just as they did in the movie timeline, they’re still going to warn Sam about it, since he’s somebody that has inserted himself into their lives. Sam would probably have reacted much the same way as in the movie at first; assuming they’re crazy. I think he might have come around to the idea pretty quickly though. Living in Santa Carla he’s going to see his share of mysterious disappearances, and nobody else will be offering any explanations. I think eventually he’s going to go with Edgar and Alan’s idea until someone comes up with something better, and since they don’t, vampires it is.

I don’t think the dynamic between them will be that much different though. The Frogs are all gung-ho ‘destroy all vampires’ and Sam is along for the ride. Maybe since he’s been aware of the vampire infestation for longer, Sam will be more clued up though. He’s probably going to be actively involved in trying to warn people about it. I think he’d have something to say about the way that Edgar and Alan go about trying to warn people about the vampires. He’s right in there telling them their Superman filing system is all wrong, I imagine he’d be just as critical of the way they aggressively try to force horror comics on people in the store.

“Guys, you can’t just walk up to people, scowl, shove a horror comic at them and tell them to read it.”

“Why not?”

“Well, because… I mean, people might not want to read that. What if they’ve come in for Archie comics or something? They’re not going to want Vampires Everywhere instead, are they?”

“We’re not stopping them buying something else too, we’re just suggesting that they…”

“I think you mean demanding, not suggesting.”

“We’re just suggesting that they read this as well.”

“Yeah well, your ‘suggestion’ just sent that kid fleeing without taking the vampire book or buying the stack of comics he had in his hand. So how about you let me handle the PR from now on, huh?”

Or something like that.

Thing is though, since they moved there younger, things will play out differently and there’s a good chance that Michael won’t get involved with the Lost Boys in the same way he did in the movie though. He wouldn't have been there to see Star on the boardwalk, he wouldn't have drawn the attention of David, Lucy might not have ended up working at the video store, and so might not have drawn Max’s attention. Of course it’s entirely possible that things will play out exactly the same as in the movie, but I doubt it.

So unless they find the vampire coven some other way, maybe end up helping some other kid with a vampire problem, or something like that, things might end up very different, and the three of them might even get a shot at a normal life.

That’s a nice idea. But it would mean a lot more deaths in town, which isn’t a trade-off that any of them would agree to if they had any choice in the matter.

Ooh… now there’s a very angsty fanfic idea…

[blood-loving-leech]

uh, big tw for a rant abt my sui attempt and like complete detail so definitely don’t read it unless you’re in a good state of mind please ily all maybe don’t read it at all actually idk i just needed to get it out and pretend someone actually cares

also it’s very long

today last year i went back to school after a fantasy dream trip to California with my dad for sailing

i sat down in my math class and i realized i hated my school, i was failing at everything i used to be good at, i had lost all my friends, my ex had ghosted me for a week and a half, my teachers thought i was weird for bringing a teddy bear to school in 10th grade, and my parents were always dissapointed,

i was worth nothing to nobody, and i had pills in my backpack

so i sat through my math class, and my chemistry class, and then i went and sat in my hallway for lunch, alone

i sat there with my pills in one hand and my bear in my lap and i stared at them, and i stared at them, and i held my bear, but before i could let myself chicken out i swallowed em without even taking a sip of water and then my hand was empty

and i panicked for a minute

i thought about going to the bathroom and purging

but then i calmed down, i just sat there with my bear for lunch, and felt numb, id have cried maybe if i could, but i couldn’t

tbh i didn’t think there were enough pills to kill me actually i just was kinda hoping they would anyway but two periods later i could feel it

it was really cold, like ice, like slowing down, and i started thinking about my childhood, i wrote a story for my english class that day, 5th period, about a person drowning in an icy lake, remembering all the warm days they’d lived, and my tablemates loved it, they were asking question about like, what it was about, and i just told them i didn’t know

i spent 6th period trying not to pass out and failing, it was so cold even with all my sweaters, from the pills and all the weight i’d been losing, my hair was greasy and my clothes were dirty and i was slumped over in my seat in the very back of spanish thinking “maybe ill actually really die after all”

i went to drama club after school and sat in the crappy auditorium chairs and wrote two letters, one to my parents telling them i didn’t expect the pills to kill me and one to my ex, one i never sent, it’s still sitting in my room sealed in an envelope with two of his favorite teas, im too scared to read my desperation but i can’t throw it out either

i went home and i set everything up on my desk in case i really did die and i finished the day and went to bed not really expecting or at least kind of hoping i wouldn’t wake up, i didn’t even say goodbye to my ex, or anyone else, there wasn’t anyone else to say goodbye to anyway

but i woke up the next morning and on the walk to my bus stop i was furious, i was miserable, and i was numb, i watched the pine needles pass under my feet and i could only think about how fucking stupid it was that i was still alive, and i learned nothing from the previous days fear because i told myself that after school, after therapy, i was going to take the rest of my bottle that was in my room

and yeah

idk

i’ll make another post about the hospital cuz fuck

but like

that was a whole year ago now

i remember all of it

and now it’s this year

and i’m still alive but like

nothing has really changed and honestly? what the fuck

why does nothing change

why does nothing get better

why didn’t i get help? was i not sick enough? why have i had to try and fail over and over again to pull myself out of that hole with only a therapist who got fired and a therapist who quit and a doctor who said im too fat for an eating disorder?

i mean what’s the fucking point

[rotationalsymmetry]

Take 2 because the last post is too long as it is. I think I should take a moment to explain why you won’t see me going on about how the Dems are our only hope or whatever.

Walk a mile in my shoes. It’s 2000. I’m too young to vote. My state goes unambiguously blue, but Florida is too close to call. The Republicans put a lot of pressure on Gore to not look like a sore loser and concede already. Eventually Bush gets installed or whatever as President, having won Florida by a few hundred votes, maybe. Maybe not. A full recount never happened.

A year later 9/11 happens and Bush gets to be a war president and also uses the surge in national unity and international sympathy to make up lies about Iraq having “weapons of mass destruction” and goes and invades them too, because why not, something presumably Gore wouldn’t have done. Also, the idea of climate change gets back burnered in US politics, since Gore ran heavily on it and he lost so apparently that means it’s not a viable political issue or something. Idk. Point is, terrible outcome.

Also, we got “this is clearly the fault of anyone who might have voted Democrat and chose not to.” “Oh you mean centrist voters or independents?” “No I mean Nader voters” ok then.

A well established pattern of Democrats presenting “ohhh I can’t tell whether to vote D or R” as a legitimate dilemma that must be catered to and compromised over, but “ooh I don’t know Dems aren’t left enough for me” as treason and betrayal and not something that should ever under any circumstances be catered to or negotiated with.

This makes sense if you understand political parties as primarily representing the corporate interests that fund them. Most of those corporate interests donate to both parties and are fine with either one winning. They do not donate to the Green Party and are not ok with them winning.

It makes no sense from a believing in democratic principles perspective. Or in a “the republicans are our mortal enemies” perspective tbh.

OK. Time goes by and eventually we get Obama and the Affordable Care Act which is pretty cool, but not withdrawal from Afghanistan or Iraq. And of course not a general change in how the US relates to the rest of the world. Or, eg, how police and prisons are run. Hence the need for the Black Lives Matter movement, which in case anyone forgot started in the early 2010’s.

Then we get the utterly disastrous and terrifying 2016 election, where this fringe candidate nobody could possibly take seriously somehow, in spite of being a veritable scandle magnet and clearly not having an ounce of integrity anywhere in his person, somehow won not only the Republican nomination but also the general election. It could have been worse, I guess? I for one was afraid we’d get World War III. An attempted coup is a pretty awful outcome, well outside what anyone would normally expect a bad election outcome resulting in, but not quite that bad.

Point is, while like everyone else I thought Clinton was almost certainly going to win, I could see things would be Bad and potentially superlatively what the hell how is this even possible Bad if she didn’t, and while normally I’d be out there throwing in my labor like I did with Kerry in 2004 (I didn’t particularly like Kerry and I didn’t vote for Kerry, I voted for Kucinich, but I did work for his campaign. And then, between an abundance of news network caution and an abundance of “don’t be a sore loserman” caution, Kerry conceded before the news station I was watching (msnbc maybe?) called Ohio, which I will never forgive him for btw) I was in 2016 recently dealing with a new debilitating chronic illness and that wasn’t going to happen, so instead I talked to my then-boyfriend now-husband who was the one of us who actually had money, and we made a substantial-for-us donation to the Clinton campaign.

This is significant.

No, I need to give more context. I supported Kerry (well, I worked for his campaign) because he wasn’t Bush. While I did actively like a lot of things Obama was talking about while he was campaigning, a large part of why I voted for him was because, I don’t actually remember who was running against him in 2008, but whoever it was, I didn’t want them to be President. And so on. In fact for years and years, multiple election cycles, the main selling point for the Dems is that they’re not the Republicans. Sometimes it’s bombing other countries, more often it’s about Roe v Wade or something else domestic, but for multiple election cycles the Democrats’ primary selling point is that the Republicans are just awful and the way to not get a Republican in office is to get a Democrat in office instead, you don’t have to actively like them you just have to hate the other side more. This isn’t an incidental selling point, it’s their main selling point.

It’s actually such a central point that it’s often the main thing talked about in the primaries, not whether you like a more moderate candidate but whether that candidate can beat the other side. I don’t even know why moderate Democratic voters like moderate Democratic politicians, beyond them being “more electable”.

And I’ve contributed to this too. I have in so many words told the Democratic Party that the main thing I look for in their candidates is that they’re not Republican (or not a specific Republican, eg not Trump), which btw not going to do that any more but enough other people will that I don’t expect that to matter.

Later on I found this out. That the Clinton campaign gave money to the Trump campaign in the primaries because they figured Trump would be easier to beat. That the Dems are continuing to fund more extreme candidates in the primaries in order to have more extreme and presumably (???) more easily defeated candidates in the general election.

Do you see that? Do you see what’s going on there?

People vote Dem because they’re afraid of Republicans, especially the more extreme Republicans.

And the Dems are happy to take the money you and I and your friends gave them, money you gave them precisely because you’re afraid of the Trumps and the DeSantises, and giving that money to the political campaigns of the Trumps and DeSantises to make sure that when the general election hits, you’re maximally terrified and willing to give them even more.

And if you didn’t give them enough, I guess you get a DeSantis.

if the Democrats cared about what we cared about, they would never be willing to voluntarily increase their odds of running against a Trump or a DeSantis in the general election, even if they meant a higher risk of losing to a more moderate Republican (and I’m not even convinced it does mean that, this doesn’t actually seem like a strategy that wins elections.) either way, these people are not on our side. They are holding us hostage.

You might find ways to negotiate with someone holding you hostage, you might look for ways to pacify them. But you shouldn’t believe they are on your side.

When I was campaigning for (Green Party candidate) Matt Gonzales, the Democratic Party pissed my mom off — someone who’s much more moderate than I am and was never going to vote for Gonzales — by campaigning exceptionally hard against him, with national party funds. Dems like to talk as though radicals are their natural constituency. That of course leftists should vote Democrat! But if someone who’s actually leftist or anything close to it runs, the Democrats will turn on them at least as strongly as they turn on Republican candidates, if not more so. Probably more so. Good luck getting Democratic funding for your primary campaign if you’re a third party candidate. Democrats — the actual politicians anyways — see leftist third parties as a much greater threat than the Republicans.

Because. They. Don’t. Represent. Us.

And I don’t even mean they don’t represent us radicals. They don’t represent the people who vote for them. They represent the organizations that contribute to their campaign chest. And ordinary people do not contribute enough for us to buy their positions.

[s-omething]

today is january 10 in 2023 and i thought i’d be happy by now.  that i’d feel at home and alive. turns out “home” just feels like some kind of extention of myself: if i’m good, it is good. if i’m not okay, it rots with me.  it isn’t filled with friends, laughs, cries, conversations, connections. no one comes, i sit in silence most of the time, looking at nothing. i have been distant, but at some point i make all efforts i could of reaching out and i guess my heart broke, i dont think friends want anything to do with me tbh.  i cant stop my mind racing on what i might have done wrong, i came up with too many answers without proof.  i thought i’d be less lonely, not more. i believed my dogs would be happier, now it just seems like i ruined their lives with my melancholy.  i buy the food i like but i still dont feel like eating it. i still drink myself to sleep sometimes, and sometimes drinking doesn’t do it either, the anxiety stays there, turns into anger.  i don’t have fun.  i am writing this today because i’m supposed to be learning to read my feelings, understand and accept them and work on communicating them, honestly it just feels like im getting it all wrong ‘cause i take too long to make it make sense and the answer is that im making drama out of small things.  i dont understand that, considering i soothe myself, do not show much emotion, control what comes out and swallow the most of it when i need to talk about it. i try to be practical and direct so they wont have a negative reaction or judgement out of it.  i think im bending to melancholic loneliness again and it’s terrifying. i have to be careful if i get sad because if it wins over me i might not get out of bed or eat or clean, work, pay bills, take my dogs for enough walks and just end up failing.  im not supposed to fail, im supposed to be happy, im home with my dogs and i am free.  am i cursed? why isnt it working? its already been 2 months, i was supposed to be okay. cooking isn’t fun anymore, i just drag myself to do it so i dont starve or get sick. while i cook i just resent myself in the fact that i will have to actually eat it later. it makes me anxious. i dont want to cook anymore.  turns out food will rot if you dont eat it, and i hate wasting food, it makes me anxious as well.  i made everything look the best i could, decorating as id like and now i absolutely hate it, to the point i avoid looking at details too long.  i have this urge to make things disappear if im not using them, it feels like too much, like they are not only standing there in the house, but standing inside my brain occupying space i don’t have. it doesn’t take too long, if i haven’t used something in a week, it starts to haunt me.  it’s been 6 hours. i finally had some bread, i had to, i could not open the bottle because of my weak ass hands.  i should cook real food, i know that, i can’t stop thinking about it.  there’s one meal left in the fridge and then im out, no meal. but i should have eaten it yesterday, its diner time today and i still couldn’t.  being honest here, i dont miss the way things were at all, i absolutely hated it and it was hell. i do miss my friends, i miss having people around, i miss having hope and plans. i daydreamed about what future would look like, now im in that future and everything is real but turns out im still me. maybe ill just never be okay.  it’s not that im not satisfied with my accomplishments, its not its just i got here, yay.. now what? i dont want anything, thinking of wanting something makes me anxious, i dont... want to want anything.  see, if i wanted all of this and i got it and im still a sad piece of shit, what’s the point? contini tastes like my 19th birthday. i drink it and feel the exact same feeling from that april 14th in 2018. i dont want anything from the future, i dont know how to accept help cause it honestly feels like torture, i love my friends but im certain i already lost them, i only listen to one song per day, repetely  thinking of changing into something else, listening to various songs or anything like that makes me want to rip out my skin on overwhelm. should i go back to anti depressants? i hate them, i hate being numb, i hate that they don’t make me happy or sad or angry or anything but empty. i absolutely will not do without orgams.  i kinda wish someone would beat me up so i could focus on something real and not stupid feelings that are just inside my brain yet having the power to paralyze me. i just need to cook some fucking food. maybe you can’t have friends correctly if you have depression, maybe i should just cook tomorrow. 

[noro-noro-noro]

accidentalyl fell asleep at like 9pm. dreams

i went to onemorelevel.com & the website host had pinned a game from 2015 called like super lesbian sex game! & also they had like some tiny instance of a seeded terraria world that had a huge ufo at the bottom like from robot wants ice cream except if you destroyed the ufo jets too early it’d attack you. it zoomed out from this area & it was a high school classroom. i made conversation with an internet friend + friend of that person who i think i never talked. my friends were backseat driving my terraria game, but i didn’t care too much tbh - i didn’t know how this ufo seed worked. and after that i was now the driller. there was 10 jadiz around the classroom so i started ignoring everything & digging the jadiz out. everyone kept cheering. it’s bc everyone loves jadiz as much as me. i even found one after everyone went to sleep. 

& after that but before the building there was something about a zombie apocalypse?? or something?? we were inthe lobby of an area. it wasn’t totalyl safe outside, but it was safe enough that people would go out there toeat. i had a dream i was the main character from that smile movie & my friends were trying to fool me into thinking there were shapeshifters outside that had my stuff, but i realized that this was all one person’s idea & i threw my cup of water at them & totalyl told them off & then ythey were like it’s just a joke!! & i was like you’re such an asshole for this. 

then had another dream about that building with 10 floors. (technically 11 since it was 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 8.5 9 10) floor 8 was the last floor you could go n safely. each floor had its own gimmick. it was safe up to floor 5, floor 6 was when you could seriously get hurt bc there were those brainwashed people walking around that floor (the inside of the building looked like a mall btw except for the lobby area) with the spray cans full of acid that they would just apply directly to you. you had to imagine that you were curing yourself & shout out your plans. i ended up grabbing a spray can from a kid & i think like threatening them into stopping bc all the skin on my back was gone and dried up by that point. my friends weren’t able to see the lies on this floor & for some reason i wasn’t allowed to tell them so i just had to act weird to stop them from eating anything or doing anything that would get them hurt. 

floor 4 i think was mostly safe, but it was a bit maze-like & if you took the wrong turn you’d end up in the phlegethon from dante’s inferno & literally just be sttuck in hell forever. and the vendors on this floor were assholes for no reason. but all the wrong turns were pretty clearly labelled.  just pay attention. 

floor 8 was the last floor you could come back unchanged from, or maybe it was 8.5 it had a normal lobby. you didn’t want to spend any time there though it was still really dangerous - something about clones of yourself forming. don’t look anyone in the eye unless they speak to you first. if you went to floor 10 you could never leave again. i think you’d die in there, or worse.

the floors inside the building would change randomly - if you left the building and went in the front door, you probably wouldn’t end up on the floor you left on - it was always swapping. you could see the lobby change depending. leaving the building through the main lobby of that floor area would always take you to the front door, no matter what floor you were on. and i’ve been here before for sure

[bisluthq]

Unpopular Opinion and how I see this all (be mindful these are guess options of the outcome):

1. Their engagement is out of pettiness. There is this tale old as time. When you reject someone that wanted you, and go off to be with someone else. They’ll orbit you, and you keep saying no, or ignoring them. Up until one day you decide to give them a proper chance. Guys like this (and even girls, sometimes) will do you extremely dirty, like no other. Merely because you bruised their ego with their initial rejection (narcissists also love doing this, they follow the same script). They’ll get you attached, give you a love that feels so intoxicating, then discard you once you got your brief trial of it. Then they’ll go off and give the next person everything they promised to do further damage.

2. The case of regret, sometimes guys (also girls) will treat their current partner badly, doesn’t matter how warm, patient, kind and caring she is. They could love them, be forgiving to them, etc, and they’ll still disrespect them. Up until it ends (typically she walks away), they’ll then immediately rebound (or monkey branch) to the next and realise they screwed up so bad, and do the “inner work” to be better for the next girl. Leading to giving the next girl everything promised to the last, and actually changing. This one is the saddest conclusion, and hurts badly, cause you question yourself, “why wasn’t I good enough?” But to be honest it’s a reflection of them (‘building a man’) but, at least you are the key factor that another girl doesn’t get hurt. Even if you were the man’s sacrifice girl.

3. Then you got the third, and worst case scenario (unhinged) you’re either dealing with a flat out narcissist (that is hell) or a person who has strong codependency issues, and fears being alone. Typically you see this with monkey branchers. They aren’t officially satisfied, nor ever will be (much like narcissists) they have a void to fill (again, lone fears) and don’t know how to healthily process their emotions and dependent on using another person to “heal” and “get over someone” … NGL both Matty and Taylor are monkey branchers, can’t say they’re narcissist because I’m not a psychologist so we will lean on codependency and fear of being alone. Usually this isn’t “personal” (although, they can be petty). They monkey branch to someone else and it’s awful, they move fast, love bomb, etc cycle repeats. This is the worst because these people down the line compare their partners cause they didn’t take time to heal and just relationship hop & settle for the easier. This is more of a bullet dogged scenario (rejection is protection).

IMO, it’s one of these 3 listed reasons. I can’t figure out which, but I wish Gabriette luck, because honestly it doesn’t even feel like brag worthy, when someone like Matty is that unhinged. It’s not healthy either knowing she’s been in the wings for 4 years always wanting him. Monkey branchers (and narcissists) do that they run to the person in the wings and always lined up out of security, very rarely is it genuine true love even if it publicly may seem like that and time reveals it’s self.

Regardless I wish them luck and I’ve been in Taylor’s shoes (TTPD is exactly what I went through) just no engagement only the next girl getting everything I badly wanted, and I got disrespected by the end. It hurts cause it’s a never ending questioning of “why wasn’t I good enough?” But I’m reframing my mindset now as; “it was a bullet dodged, rejection is protection, and they’ll repeat the cycle” and I pray the next girl does get the better version, because no one deserves their heart broken and no point in being bitter. Better to forgive, just not forget. That makes it less hurtful.

And tbh, I think Taylor was dealing with heavy limerence when it came to Matty. Usually love bombing can trigger it (esp when she was in a bad position, no time to heal after her 7 yr rs crumbled) and this dude was promising her everything she wanted to lock her in when she was most vulnerable. It hurts but, life goes on.

lots of things hurt but life does go on. And there is a fourth option imo - he’s an addict with poor impulse control who really wants marriage and kids and thought he wanted those things with Taylor but being with Taylor Swift™️ stressed him tf out and so he bailed on out of there. Then the next girl he met who he really liked - because Gabby makes sense to like for him yk it’s not like absurd at all??? - he got super serious about because he does want a wife and kids. He just doesn’t want that wife to be Taylor Swift™️

The girl I briefly dated like while my ex and I were breaking up told me straight up she was looking for marriage like within the next 18 months and I was like “sweet I wanna get married in 2022” (I was very attached to that year for that idea like since I was a kid lol) but then I agreed to like keep trying with my ex and then COVID happened also and this other girl lived in another city so idk we wound up ending things lol. I can’t remember what all I said but I rang her fucked off my face one night and broke up with her apparently quite meanly (I spoke to her eventually like 3 days later and she didn’t say what I’d told her but basically wished me well in kinda a sarcastic way and I said look I’m sorry and she said I was really hurtful sooo yea idk but I believe her because y’all know how mean I can be) and that girl did indeed marry the very next girl she started seeing. I… clearly did not. But I might’ve lol if I’d met the right person? Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t think every messy thing is preplanned evilness yk?

[venenatd]

just friends; eren jaegar x reader

summary: you and eren are best pals and have both recently be dumped. so, a plan to get over your exes is needed! what’s better than going out on the town trying to find quick fucks >:) also eren is a smug bastard but kinda has a heart of gold??

content: smut / nsfw 18+. minors dni. (choking, unprotected sex, creampie drinking, drunk sex, possessiveness ig? dirty talk, both of them want to be dominant tbh. slight size kink, oral both m and f receiving. female bodied reader) 

i am new to this pls let me know if i should add anything!!

word count: 5.8k words of unedited content 

a/n: uh so i never thought i’d be back on my tumblr bullshit at 23 but hey after years without the app i’m back. i needed to get out the h-word and this is what happened. enjoy and i’m sorry if it’s terrible lmao

“You look different” 

Frowning at the man waiting ever so patiently for you on the sofa, you look a little defeated. “Is that meant to be a compliment, Eren?”. He sighed, raising his eyebrows at you. To be fair, maybe you did. Wearing a figure hugging black dress, that definitely just hid your ass cheeks, hair styled and sprayed in place, dark lipstick and makeup on your face. Usually Eren would have seen you in sweats, always running a little late for class, snack in hand. 

“Different isn’t bad,” he offered, checking the watch that lay on his wrist, “are we ever going to get to the bar? Your plan will fall through if you’re not careful.”

Ah, the plan. Both you and Eren were newly single. In your final year at university, having managed to keep each relationship going until almost the end. Ironic. Weren’t most meant to fail in the first year? But alas, your partners had decided it was the end within a couple of weeks each other, and as you and Eren had been close since you met on orientation day, you each took to the other for comfort. You had done the crying first, going to him the minute your call with the ex had ended. Leaving wet splotches on his shirt, he had calmed you, only for you to do the same to him later. Now the crying was done, it was time to move on, and what better advice to follow than getting under someone to get over another?

“I just need to look hot enough for a guy to fuck me.”

“What a romantic you are.”

“Shut up Er-”

Eren shifted from the couch, interrupting your usual sass, “and what about me, y/n? Do I look beautiful?”. He threw in a wink with his comment, his aura of cockiness always radiating. You rolled your eyes, before studying his figure. His dark hair half pulled back into a bun, the rest draping his neck and onto a deep emerald green silk shirt, with the top few buttons loose, tucked into dark pants. A ring on each hand, fingers with chipping black nail polish, and to top it off, a thin chain on his neck. You hated to admit it and add to his smug demeanour but... the man did look good. 

“Gorgeous as always Eren,” you said sarcastically, even if it was truthful, “I’m sure there will be a queue of women who are wanting to jump on you.”

“Not if they aren’t all taken already,” he taps at his watch. Whilst the two of you had already been drinking as he waited for you to get ready, it was definitely on the later side.

“Order the uber, and we can go.”

Walking over to him and adding shoes to your outfit, you present yourself before him, a cute little smile playing on your lips. He’s staring down at his phone, quickly going through the motions for the ride. Finally, he looks up to catch your eyes. His jade pupils flick down slightly, and he hopes you miss that they land at the cleavage you’re sporting in your current get up. He flicks your nose, earning a scowl from you and a smile from him.

“You look perfect”

The club is far fuller than you both expected, dance floor and tables taken up and crowded round. Luckily, you had managed to secure you and Eren a pair of seats at the bar, and you were currently on your third..? Fourth drink of the evening. Green eyes watch your lips carefully, as you finish the vodka and lemonade. 

“So, anyone take your fancy?” he prompts, looking around at the mess of people.

Humming, you scan the area. There’s some people you recognise from class, but plenty more you don’t know. Fucking friends seems like a bad move, even in your tipsy state, so you look to the strangers faces. They don’t look like him. Ugh. 

There’s a few options though, and as you point them out to Eren they come with brief descriptors: dark hair and stubble, wide set blonde. He tuts at the options, sarcastically letting out a “sure sure, I see the appeal”. 

“And how about you, anyone you like the look of?” you ask with a sigh.

Christ, Eren thinks to himself. It’s been long enough that he hasn’t had to look for someone else. Sure there were attractive people in the world, but with her around, he hadn’t needed to give anyone else a second look. His palm moves to the back of his neck, stretching out behind him with a huff. “Let’s look on the dance floor?” he offers, clearly not as eager as you were tonight. Moving his hand back down, he holds it out for you, pulling towards the throng of people.

He looks effervescently cool like this. Shirt open, hair starting to fall from his bun. Eren is looking around at the people surrounding the two of you. The two of you had been working in circles, allowing each other an eyeful as the club goers move around the space. As a group of guys push their way from the dance floor to the bar, you get shoved towards Eren. Heels were never quite your forte, and you stumble against him, hands on either side of his chest. Grinning down at you with that smug little smile that annoyed you so much, Eren brought large hands to your waist, pushing you away a little. But his hands stay there as he continues to sway to the music, making no effort to break the contact. And so you bring your arms up to his neck, allowing his movements to carry you on time to the song. For the first time in the past couple of weeks, you feel light. Your chest isn’t constricted by some foreign weight. It’s just you and your best friend, buzzed and free.

Colours change above you, as you look up to Eren, him down to you. A playful grin takes his lips as he pulls you a little closer, you so easily accepting the narrowing distance. Your black silk meets his deep green, chest pushing into his. You carefully analyse his features, seeing if he attempts to check you out like earlier. 

Was it the alcohol making your cheeks so warm? Lit up by a purple hue, you watch his eyes return to exploring the crowd, his hand still holding on to you. His smirk falters, his eyebrows creasing together. You’re not moving in circles anymore, Eren pausing in his movements as he thinks about what to do next. He shouldn’t lie to you, but seeing your ex at the bar would really harsh the night. Under his fingers, he can feel your body tense, suddenly unsure at how close the contact between you was. 

But Eren doesn’t want you to know, he doesn’t want you to be distracted by your ex tonight. He doesn’t want to see your hurt little face anymore. The way your eyes would be red and puffy the next day. The way he would feel your shoulders heaving under his arms. You don’t deserve that. Hell, you didn’t deserve the huge amount of shit your ex had put you through over the years he’d known you. Eren would sit back and listen to you rant, support you where he could. But fuck that guy. And he wasn’t sure what sparked in his chest, but Eren’s jade orbs are trained straight back on you. His eyebrows calm, tension releasing from them. As you can turn to scope out whatever had changed his body language so suddenly, he catches your jaw. 

Beginning to slowly move again, his eyes have narrowed, taking in the way the dress hugs you, the shine on your skin from the hot dance floor. Eren couldn’t quite figure out what was intoxicating him right now. Definitely a lot of alcohol, but also a sudden… possessiveness. He didn’t want you in pain anymore. Eren wanted you in pleasure. His breath is suddenly on your neck, making your hair raise. 

“I’ve only seen one person I’m interested in tonight.” 

“Oh?” you squeak, before clearing your throat a little. The new deep notes in his voice catch you off guard. It almost sounds like he’s… No. He’s your best friend. The little looks you’d been giving each other all night were just two people looking out for one another, two people seeing each other happy for the first time in a while. Your voice is calmer as you ask light-heartedly, “and who would that be?” 

His lips are so close to your ear. 

“You.” 

“Eren-” your hands move from behind his neck, resting on his shoulders. You need to see your best friend's face, you need to know if he’s joking right now. If he’s mocking you. When you draw back, you see his face. Smug, as always. Fuck you’ve always wanted to knock that cockiness down a peg. Cheshire smile showing his teeth and his eyes looking down at you. Half lidded eyes, pupils blown. He’s not joking. Fuck.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Your breath is caught in your throat. All too aware suddenly of each of his finger pads pressing into your skin, the contact feeling like fire with the added alcohol. But, you find yourself nodding, the yes just escaping your lips before he’s pressed into them.

Large hands travel to your hip, and up your back, pressing you into him. You can feel his body, tense in exhilaration against you, hands back around his neck. One travels up to the nape of his back, tangling into his hair and pulling him deeper into you. The music is all consuming, you can feel the bass in your body, you can feel Eren against you, you can feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins. 

Eren’s hand on your back travels up, echoing your placement on him, to hold the back of your neck. He doesn’t want you to go, you feel too good. The heat between your bodies could suffocate him. His thumb puts pressure under your jaw, he isn’t even sure you can feel it. But he can, measuring your pulse racing underneath the pad. He’s smiling into this kiss, this all consuming kiss.

His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, and you’re all too eager to allow him into your mouth. Tasting the whisky from your home, tasting the coke from the club. His teeth take your lip nipping slightly, before sucking the plump of it into his mouth. You both come up for air, eyes meeting in acknowledgment of the situation.

“Wanna get out of here?”

The drive home had only served to heap tension between you. As clearly that it was that you wanted each other, you would have to wait a while longer. Your thighs pressed together, slowly inhaling and exhaling. Going through your mind was whether this was a good idea, staring out at the city passing by you. Eren was your friend. You were dating another man two weeks ago. The same man that had previously asked you if he needed to be worried about Eren. You’d laughed it off, because it was Eren. You were brought out of your thoughts when you felt him grip your leg, a little too harshly at first, before settling, leaving a gentle pattern of circles and lines on your inner thigh. It was Eren.

Just one hallway. You had to make it one hallway to get into your apartment. One hallway left to come to your senses. And just like he read your mind, Eren is once again touching you, just his hand on yours pulling you backwards. You twist just in time, his hands instantly cupping your cheeks as he kisses you, deeply and intensely. Pushing you back into the wall, you pray a neighbour doesn’t walk out now. His knee is pressing gently between your legs, and you allow it. Your fingers sink into Eren’s arms, lightly covered by the fabric yet you can still feel the muscle underneath, relaxing and tensing as he pulls you closer. 

His lips are making their way to your jaw, lifting your chin upwards, tentatively licking the bone before moving downwards still, sucking and nipping and licking your neck. A whimper breaks through. You really need to get inside. Gripping his hair, you sharply pull backwards.

“Not going to play nice, huh?” 

When did he speak like this? The playful and shit-eating grin your friend Eren always wore was replaced by something darker, his words laced with intent. 

“Don’t challenge me.” 

You were off, finally at your door, making quick work with the lock, moving in first before he followed. The door shut as you pushed Eren against it, usual doe eyes being taken over with a deep lust. Your hands are instantly at his belt, as his hands find your face once again. This time he’s grabbing your hair, making you look up at him as he glares down at you. You’re constantly challenging one another in conversation, and it’s translating to the bedroom far too easily. 

Lips are on one another again, as you leave the belt and start towards his shirt. You bite down on his bottom lip, earning a hiss from him, and you feel his hand being brought around your throat. He doesn’t add too much pressure, checking if this turn is indeed okay with you. When you push against the weight, he takes the gleam in your eye as a yes, and uses the force to push you against the next wall, finally moving off the front door. 

It’s a constant battle to get to the bedroom, both of you taking control for short bursts. Eren pulling the thin straps of your dress down, you untucking his shirt. His muscular torso is on full display, and you had never viewed it in this light before. 

Finally he pushes you onto the bed, situating himself between your legs. Your kisses are sloppy and infused with alcohol. Hands are desperate with one another, both of you needing to be closer. Are you scared if the contact ends your thoughts will return to sanity? 

Eren’s hot and heavy over you, his hands seem everywhere at once. Smoothing up your thigh, digging in slightly to the flesh when you grind against one another. His hands rest at your hips for a moment, and he’s looking down at you, still fucking smiling. All at once, he’s flipped you over his prominent hard on pressing into your ass. He’s whispering in your ear, leaving wet kisses along your neck, to your shoulder blades. Fingers take the zip at the back of your dress, slowly and carefully pulling it down, leaving licks and pecks as he goes. It’s torturous. 

You attempt to speed things up by rutting your ass against his crotch, and you think you hear a quiet moan, before his hand is brought down to the fabric, smacking your cheek. You gasp, turning your head to look at him. Eren is too occupied in taking in all of your body, his green eyes are darkened with authority and lust. His nimble fingers play with the short hem of your dress, thumb dipping beneath, before he pushes the silk up. 

You both let out soft fuck’s, as his hands grab at the plump of your ass. It’s like he’s testing the softness, the way your flesh responds to his touch so easily. He slaps at you again, earning a sharp moan from you. Eren’s leaning down, his mouth once again trailing across the apex of your behind, leaving trails of saliva as he goes. Before you can even register the new sensations you can feel a soft pressure against your clothed cunt, just enough to let you know the presence of his hand, but not enough for you to get off on. You’re mewling, once again trying to get closer to him. This time he allows it, eagerly pressing his ring and middle finger to your clit, allowing you to grind upon them. 

Seeing you underneath him like this… it’s new and strange and so fucking hot. He’s watching you desperately try and fill the need building in your core, and he can only feel his cock twitch in his pants as he sees you coming undone. If you wanted more, he could definitely give it to you. Bringing his large hands away, to the flimsy fabric that was covering you, he pulls it down, exposing you to him. His heart and dick fucking jump. His hands return to your ass, watching the jiggle as you move and whimper. Spreading you, he brings his face down, breath tingling on your most sensitive areas.

Your breath catches in your throat as his tongue, gentle at first, licks between your folds. He’s tasting you, he’s moaning into your pussy, as you write beneath him. Eren’s hands are squeezing your ass cheeks, holding you still as you try to grind against his face. 

“Patience, y/n”, he says, with a slap on your behind again. 

“Fuck you,” you hiss. 

“You will be in a minute, baby girl, don’t worry.”

You go to make a retort but he’s instantly back, licking up your slit and a deep moan escapes you. Jesus you can feel the smile on his lips as he’s back on your pussy. Eren is so proud of the sounds he can draw from you. He wonders if your ex could make you come undone so easily. 

You taste sweet and saccharine on him, and he doesn’t hold back the groan as he further works his way into you. Hardened tongue moving it’s way from your entrance down to your clit. He swipes at it, before moving away again. Kissing your thighs, kissing the skin between your holes. Every now and then he’ll move back to your clit, allowing you a moment of pleasure before he’s teasing again. “Fuck, please”. Your whines are being smothered by the sheets, and Eren wants nothing more than to hear them, loud and clear.

Eren’s ringed fingers make their way to your hair, his face lifting from between your legs. He pulls you back round, and holy shit you can see how wet you are on his face. There’s a sheen to his lips and chin, and instinctively you reach up to his neck, pulling him back on top of you. Your tongue meets his, tasting your tartness on his mouth. A hand makes it way back down in between your thighs, playing and parting your folds. Your hand in turn reaches up his neck, pulling sharply at his hair once again. “Eren. More- please” you get out in between staggered breaths. 

“Aw, since you asked so nicely” his eyes watch your expression closely as his thumb rests on your clit, his finger swiftly moving inside you. Your eyebrows raise and knot, eyes wide and lips parted. But he keeps it still as your legs shaked around his arm. “Eren, move” you demand this time. 

“Oh, that’s not so nice. I liked it when you were polite.” He starts to retract his finger, thumb gently swabbing your clit so you’ll know what you miss.

“Please, please, please, Eren, please” you speak before he even gets the first knuckle out. All the teasing was creating a tightness in your lower stomach. 

“Much better.”

You whine as he continues to pull his finger from you, until he pushes it back in, curling his solitary finger up. Your fingernails are pressing deep into the muscle of his bicep, feeling how it moves as he finger fucks you. He’s hitting that perfect spot inside you again and again, and his thumb is swiping eagerly on your clit. 

Eren can feel you fluttering around his finger, desperate for more, desperate to release on him. He adds another finger, your wetness allowing him entrance easily. He wants to fuck you so bad, his cock so hard it felt like it was about to burst. 

He pushes your hands off him, leaving crescent moon indents deep in his skin, he works his way back down. He brings the black silk with him this time, fully being able to take in your body as you’re left naked before him. Holy shit you’re beautiful. He doesn’t want to stare too long and make you shy. But he still kisses his way down, before he’s back at your pussy. 

This time he allows you more movement, letting your fingers work their way back into his hair, letting you roll your hips against his tongue and stubble. 

With his spare hand he pulls out his cock, slowly pulling at it, before he realises he can’t do that for too long without cumming before the main event. Instead he reaches up, rolling your perked nipples in between his fingers. There are so many sensations on your body, and Eren can feel your cunt beginning to tighten around his fingers. You hold your breath before letting out little moans, building towards reaching your height.

“You want to cum on my fingers?

Your back is arching, whispering “yes, yes, yes, please” as your walls are tightening around him. He quickens the pace, making sure to hit that spot inside you over and over. Thighs around his face, he can feel your slick pooling in his mouth, and coating his chin once again. 

Your gummy walls are so tight around his thick fingers, he needs you to finish, watch you fully unravel below him. Sucking and licking at your clit, he’s pushing you towards the edge. 

“Eren-” his name is strangled coming out of you, and then your moaning, undulating your cunt against his mouth, riding out your orgasm. 

His jade eyes look up at you, watching as you pull your head up to look at him, before another wave of pleasure hits you and you have to arch your neck and look back up. He waits for you to come down, letting you fuck his face and fingers. Grinding against his stubble and tongue as you let out pitiful and beautiful moans. You’re so fucking wet, the sounds coming from between the two of you should be forbidden, as you release onto him. 

Finally he withdraws, using his forearm to wipe his face. He lies next to you, allowing you a moment as he draws little circles on your stomach. Eren has never quite looked at you in this light. Sure, you were pretty, and the two of you were obviously close. But now you’d walked a line that couldn’t be undone. You weren’t over your ex, and as okay as Eren was with what had happened between you, he didn’t want you to run. He’s overcome with thoughts, looking down to your chest and the heavy breaths you were taking. All he could pray was that you weren’t pretending he was someone else. 

But as Eren is getting caught up in his own mind, you’re twisting, hand reaching to his crotch, cock having been recaptured by his boxers. Palming him, you feel how big he really is for the first time. Fingers trace the edge of his pants and underwear, and he lifts his hips, allowing you to pull them down. Shit. His dick slapped back to his stomach, precum leaking from the top of his pink head. He was bigger than you’d imagined, because of course you’d imagined it a couple of times.

Your hand looks so small around his cock, but you slowly tease him, his deep green orbs following your movements. Bringing your head down to him, you kitten lick the precum from the top of his dick. He hisses gently, and you look up at him with these big doe eyes, so fucking eager to please.

You push your lips around him, hollowing your cheeks and flattening your tongue as you begin working along his shaft. He moans just at the sight of you, your eyes peeking up through dark lashes. His hand goes through your hair, eagerly pushing you deeper around him. 

He lets out a hoarse, “is this okay?” before you put your own hand on his pushing it for the both of you. You don’t even want to come up for air, you just want him close to you, inside you. 

You were learning far more about each other than you had expected, as Eren takes back over. He pushes himself further into you, muttering a good girl that has you whining. The vibrations around his cock make his hips buck, and now you’re gagging as his length hits the back of your throat. He holds you there instead of letting you off, and your nails are sharp against his thighs.

His head lolls back as he starts to move his hips under you, moving you in turn with your hair. He picks up the pace quickly, allowing saliva to drool from you and straight to his cock. 

Your eyes prick, big fat tears forming at the corners. But you’re enjoying this way too much, the moans and gasps he gives make you moan, pressing your thighs together for some kind of friction. 

He takes your jaw in his grasp, allowing you a moment to catch your breath. Your tongue sits out your mouth, him smacking the head of his dick on it. He notices your tears then, the mascara that’s running a little. He swipes at the corner of your eyes, leaning down to press a kiss into your forehead. 

Bringing you up to him, your dripping folds sliding across his length. His lips are on your cheeks, across your jaw, licking up your neck before reclaiming your plush lips once again. You continue grinding against one another, tongues slipping in and out of each other's mouths. Eventually Eren brings his hands to your hips, lifting you up as you hold his shaft up.

Your foreheads are pressed together as he slowly pushes inside you. The stretch is burning and all-consuming, eyes pricking up again as you feel him hit your furthest wall. Eren breathes out heavily, “So fucking tight”

You roll your hips, allowing some friction from him on your clit. It helps your muscles relax a little, and balancing your hands on his shoulders you push yourself up and down, using his length for your own pleasure. Eren’s eyes don’t leave your form, watching your breasts bounce and how your eyes flutter close as he fills you entirely.

“You really did want to be fucked, huh? Look at you” he teases you, watching as you go to talk back before he thrusts his hips up. It leaves the words caught in your throat.

His pace maintains, holding you in place as he fucks up into you, feeling your cunt clench around him. There are long moments where you hold your breath, holding his cock tight within you. Then you’ll release and moan, before holding it in again. Well, Eren is all too happy to help you with that. 

One hand grabbing the flesh of your hip, the other wrapping around your throat, he pushes into you at a punishing rate. Your eyes go wide at the sudden restriction of your throat, feeling the cold metal of his ring against your pulse. 

“Who knew this about you? That you were such a slut?”

As much as he knows you want to deny it, you want to smack the smugness from his voice, he can feel your pussy tighten around him. He sees your eyes roll back a little. 

“You’re getting tighter.” 

The hand on your hip moves down, attempting to hold you in place whilst letting his thumb press over your clit. The sounds of him slapping against your wetness is obscene, and he’s only distracted from it as you whimper out pathetic yes’s and please’s. 

“You wanna cum?” he’s grunting, trying to keep the pace going until you can reach your peak.

You nod against his wide hand, still tight around your neck. “Oh you can do better than that. I already know how bad you want it, slut.”

“Please Eren, please make me cum. I want to cum, please, please, please” you can barely make out the words, your head going light and body tightening.

“Cum for me.” 

You release, and as he can feel the fluttering of your walls around him, he lets go of your throat. The sudden oxygen as you cum leaves you overwhelmed. Burying yourself in his shoulder, he fucks you through it. Cock slapping up into your cunt over and over, somehow being sucked deeper in as you coat his length with more of your own slick. He can feel your nails breaking the flesh of his back as you’re holding on for dear life, moaning his name and even a fucking thank you into his ear.

As you begin to slow, legs shake as you stay straddled over him. He flips you, Eren now firmly on top, slowly moving in and out of you. The stimulation is intense, your cunt sparking at any sensation. 

Caged between his forearms, his hair is a mess thanks to you. You push tendrils back past his ears as he leans down to kiss you once again. This kiss is different. It feels… less desperate. It feels deep and meaningful, caring even.

Your eyes meet in acknowledgment, both of you too worried to speak about the shift in tone. 

He reaches down instead, pulling your leg up and splitting you on his cock. A tongue swipes at your nipple, biting and playing with each as he gradually picks up pace again. You’re still so fucking wet it’s easy for him to thrust into you at a dizzying pace. You can feel all of him against your gummy walls. Each time he passes that special spot inside you, you moan and gasp, and it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.

His thrusts were becoming more primal, holding your thighs close around his hips. Letting your sweaty bodies collide again and again, his balls slapping against you. The grunts and moans coming from his lips were so infuriatingly erotic. Eren just wanted one more from you, and then he’d let himself finish. If this was to be a drunken mistake, so be it, but he would at least make it memorable. 

Those jade eyes were on you once again, the power and dominance radiating from the immeasurable. He can see you barely being able to hold on, completely fucked out beneath him. You’re moaning and whining, hands moving over the swell of your breasts and playing with your nipples as if it’s going to keep you grounded. 

He sits up, eyes flicking down to where you were conjoined. It took so much restraint not to cum inside you right then and there. Your glistening sex was so tight around him, the wet slapping noises echo again and again. You’re pulling and sucking him in, cream pooling around his length. 

“Give me one more, y/n. I want to feel you cum on my cock.”  

You try to look up at him through heavy lids. Your friend Eren saying this is so taboo. The words he’s said tonight so far from normal for the both of you. You flutter around him, somehow your pussy still wants to be fucked, still wants to push you off the edge one more time. You can feel the coil inside your stomach tightening. 

Eyes rolling back, you can barely keep it together anymore. He’s pounding into you at a startling rate, fingers flicking over your clit again and again and again. 

“P - please, it’s s-so good.” 

Your breaths between words were quick, “you’re so big-”

“Yeah you like that? You like being so full of my cock? Such a pretty face you make when you’re all fucked out.” 

Holy shit.

Eren could tell how much words affected you, your back arching and legs pulling him somehow closer into you.

“Come on, baby. I wanna hear those moans.” he’s grunting, getting so fucking close to losing himself in your cunt. He knows what he wants to hear most though, “say my name. Tell me who’s treating you how you should be”

With that, you’re losing yourself around him again. Writing on the bed, gripping sheets in tightly balled fists. White light taking over your sight as you clench around Eren. This orgasm was the most intense, taking your body by surprise in its overstimulated state. You weren’t even making a noise, just holding on to the high for as long as possible. 

And then you shattered, whining and moaning, whispering his name over and over again. 

As you moved underneath him, Eren kept his punishing pace up until he watched you expel the last of your energy. Name forming on your lips over and over again he falters, releasing inside you. You can feel the stickiness inside you, the sensation of being filled up. Eren watches for a moment as he sees the white pearls forming around your stretched out pussy.

His chest is back on yours as he kisses your neck, shoulders, whatever skin he can. Thrusting back into you a couple of times, he finally pulls out. You feel his cum dripping out of you, but you’re too spent to do anything about it.

Eren lies next to you, both of your bodies attempting to regulate from that. 

“You okay?” 

He’s checking in, making sure he didn’t go too far with someone he genuinely cares for. 

You nod, turning to meet his stare. Giving him a drowsy smile, you’re not sure what comes next. But for now, you’re happy. Curling into his side, he puts an arm round you and lets you rest for a while. As he notices your breathing become deeper, he nestles into you, muttering something about clean up. 

Moving away from you, you can make out some noises of a tap, drawers opening and closing. In your sleepy state you feel him gently wiping at you, two glasses of water being put on the bedside table. Finally he makes his way back to you, and Eren notes how cute you look. Hot and completely fucked out, yes. But also gentle and at peace, allowing the heaviness of sleep taking over.

He rests behind you, wanting to be back in your warmth. He pulls you in closer, wrapping an arm around your waist. The fragrance of you takes over his nostrils, and he’s all too eager to move closer to your hair, pressing one last kiss at the nape of your neck. Whatever tomorrow brings, he hopes it’s not the last time he gets to be this close to you.

[cupofteaguk]

switching my positions

summary: Fresh out of college, Min Yoongi makes a name for himself amongst his online fanbase as an artist who writes about the ins and outs of falling in love. But when he is signed to a record label, his producer insists that he reveal a public romantic relationship to weed off any potential scandals or dangerous assumptions about the source of his love songs. So who else should Yoongi turn to, but you: his manager—but more than that, his best friend and secret crush. 

pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

genre: solo artist!yoongi, manager!y/n, fake dating au, friends to lovers au | fluff/angst 

warnings: yoongi starts off as a musician on youtube but it’s not really highlighted for most of the story, kim seokjin is a Hot Music Executive who’ll take good care of his favorite boy, jungkook gets promoted from a cameraman to a bodyguard and i love to see it <3, nayeon + hoseok cameo as radio show hosts BECAUSE THIS STORY HAS SO MANY CHARACTERS I’M SORRY, IU shows up as a ~superstar~ because i love her so much, it’s a slow burn fic what can i say, mutual pining, actually an idiots to lovers plot tbh ????,  recreational alcohol consumption, POV switches occasionally but i try to make it as obvious as possible as to what is going on, mentions of insecurity, there’s angst BUT IT’S A HAPPY ENDING !!! 

word count: 40.1k 

a/n: big big thank you to @gukyi​ for being my fic consultant for this story! she encouraged me and believed in this story more than I ever could (and contributed like 50% of the foundation that made this fic into what it is), and also reminded me that yes this is a fic so no it doesn’t require one hundred percent accuracy to the music industry despite every discord message i sent her falling somewhere along the lines of “how realistic is this scenario…” she was a very big support for this fic, and this story wouldn’t have existed without her!! 

and regarding the word count… my hand slipped. I’ve clowned this fic a lot over the past month but I am really happy that this is done and so so excited for you all to read it. Pls enjoy!!!!!!! Xx 

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CHAPTER 1: THE DISCOVERY 

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You’re late. 

Yoongi lets you know that much as you have to shove your way through a rather large crowd of people to reach him. When he turns away from his keyboard to glance down at you, your chest is heaving and your knees are bent in order for your hands to rest upon your thighs. There’s a plastic bag curled on your arm, the hard plastic of CD cases reflecting off the street lamps. 

“Sorry, sorry!” You breathe out, giving yourself a few more seconds to catch your breath. Nothing more, nothing less, because there is a crowd of people around you, currently staring you down, counting down the seconds until the clock struck 8:00—but many people wondering just who were you to shove your way towards the front. “The printer wasn’t working, and do you realize how difficult it is to get your stupid picture into these cases?” 

Yoongi scoffs, walking towards you and holding both his hands out. “Don’t call them stupid, you took the picture,” He hisses, taking the plastic bag from you and rummaging through the many CDs you had to make for him last minute. After ensuring that everything he had asked for is in this very bag, he softens up. “But thanks for getting these done for me.” 

You finally are able to straighten up into a full standing position. “Not my fault you underestimated how many of your wonderful fans were going to show up.” 

Yoongi reaches over and presses his index finger straight into your forehead for that comment. The force knocks you back a few steps, and Yoongi takes your few seconds of distractions to pull a phone out of his pocket. “Just go off to the side, dummy, my show starts soon.” 

“Fine, fine,” You tease back, easy smile, but your hand goes up to take the phone from him. “Break a leg, Min Yoongi.” 

Yoongi gives you a playful glare but he turns away from you to line up his CDs along the now-table next to his set. As soon as he starts placing CDs atop the surface, a small line of people step from the crowd—pointing to the CDs and holding out a stack of cash. Yoongi nods, takes the money, and hands over the CD. This happens a few more times before the line of people have died down. Yoongi looks over at the significantly less amount of cases at his table, and looks over at you, where he flashes a thumbs up. 

As Yoongi steps up to his keyboard and microphone, the crowd around him starts to cheer. The claps echo through the gathering of people, enough to draw the attention of passersby who crane their heads to see who has attracted so many listeners. 

Yoongi’s fingers curl around the microphone. “Hey guys, thank you all for coming out today.” 

The crowd claps back in acknowledgement, a few of them giving their own shy nods and waves towards Yoongi—gestures that the boy responds with his own nods and gummy smiles. 

His attention returns back to the next set of words he’ll speak into the microphone. “I got a couple covers and original songs for tonight, all requested by you guys—so let’s have some fun today.” His voice is deep, raspy and gentle, croaks slightly along the edges, but a perfect reflection of the soothing nature he brings to his audience. 

And you are attune to every single second of it. Of course you are. You blend into the crowd but really your responsibilities for Yoongi lie far beyond just packaging CDs for him and dashing through hoards of people at the last fucking second to make your delivery. You further prove this further by logging into his phone and clicking into the first background music he’s produced for today’s show. Using the music as a guide, Yoongi starts to sing. His fingers dance across the keyboard to bring an extra sound to his performance—to give it that extra live element that his fans love. 

You know that Yoongi has added these additional things over the months because he adores his fanbase and would likely do anything and everything he could to give them the best experience he could offer. After all, they’ve propelled him to this very spot—his own little corner of the bustling city streets amongst all the bars, shops, universities, street food stalls, and cafes. 

As the music continues from one song to the next, and Yoongi shifts his focus from singing to rapping to the in betweens, you see his passion. You hear it in his voice, in the way his lines string together where it seems like the boy doesn’t require oxygen anymore. Months of these live shows, even longer years to get here—and the people around him only continue to watch him in awe. Just like he’s done since the beginning. 

Min Yoongi started off his music career on Youtube, where he uploaded music covers with his own special beat thrown into the mix. Yoongi enjoyed music arrangement (still does), and used his videos as an opportunity to explore that hobby and share it with people who could also enjoy it. And enjoy it people did, as viewers started pouring in and his fanbase grew in the form of positive comments and increasing subscribers. From some videos, Yoongi had always teased the idea of original songs he had written in various notebooks that expressed the wide range of his emotions—overall all the trials and tribulations of growing up: the notion of love in all its forms. Normally, there was always a fear of an audience losing interest at the prospect of original songs, especially coming from someone who previously arranged already popular #1 hits. 

But that never happened with Min Yoongi. His songwriting abilities became part of his brand—became his entire brand. Yoongi always wrote out love to be more than sappy pop songs or tragic heartbreak. He established himself as someone who seemed to speak from the mind of every single person he came into contact with. At least, that’s what his comment section claims. 

In the beginning of his Youtube career, you found Yoongi’s online persona unusual and amusing to say the least, but it was always clouded with an air of sweetness and sensibility. After all, you had known him about a year before Youtube was even an option for him to pursue. The pair of you met in a general ed college class—big lecture halls and voices getting lost in the background as the professors’ voice boomed through speaker systems. Yoongi had asked to borrow a pencil, and the pair of you spent the rest of the class making side-handed comments about the lecture material. You sat next to each other for the rest of the semester and have been friends ever since.

So it’s not like Yoongi’s core characteristics have ever been anything other than caring, thoughtful, or loyal—he’s just never been outwardly expressive about those emotions. But Youtube changed everything: it’s made him a more vocal person, more open about his feelings as well as his need to share those feelings with the world. 

The world responded positively—wrote in the comments that they would love to hear some of his original songs, that he had already provided just a small taste of his talent and left them an insatiable desire for more. 

As soon as you and Yoongi graduated, his commitment to Youtube increased tenfold. With the previous obligations of assignments, papers, and research internships out of the way, it left more time for writing, for filming, for editing, for sharing. As his work levels increased, so did his subscribers. And so did the attention. 

You’ll never forget the day his followers suggested live street performances in one of Yoongi’s neighboring cities—a city street more specifically that was famous for taking in street performances of all origins and talents, a place for him to show off his freestyling on a keyboard and finally meet his fans firsthand. The idea caught on so quickly and vividly that Yoongi was immediately attracted to the idea. He held his first performance just a few months ago, as a thank you present for reaching one million subscribers. If you had trouble materializing Yoongi’s musical success before, the first live performance and meet and greet Yoongi hosted did well to eradicate all those thoughts. 

Hundreds of people showed up—standing alongside the shops, restaurants, food vendors, and cafes that already lined the streets, everyone intersecting to meet the artist who made them feel heard. 

You still remember that day very vividly. Yoongi had been so nervous that day, had worked so hard to put together the perfect set for his fans. Obviously, though, he had nothing to worry about. Soon, one show turned into two, and just like the request for live performances and meet and greets, the question of monetary compensation became a topic of discussion amongst Yoongi’s fans. That’s where the question of albums came into play: a singular place for Yoongi to put his covers and original place—and charge money for it as well! 

As per the request, eventually you and Yoongi decided that exclusive covers and original songs would be part of his album as a way to open up different modes of access rather than take away an individual’s general (free of charge) chance to view Yoongi’s content and just simply support without having to spend money. The introduction of his albums has been a very recent development, something added into Yoongi’s live performances after the tenth show and usually always sold out by the end of any aforementioned show. From what you’ve been able to see as of now, the albums have been a good addition. 

In terms of Yoongi’s current career, you acknowledge that it has always been you and Yoongi—him staying up late for last minute song-writing sessions or recording or arranging a specific set of chords he had been holding off for weeks, or you arranging the time and date of his live shows and fulfilling requests to put songs on CDs and figure out how to market those in an era of streaming services. And if there’s anyone who knows that he has what it takes to get big—it’s you. After all, you would do anything for him. As you would have done from the moment you met him. 

An hour later—after twenty songs and a swaying crowd around him singing along—the last song fades out and Yoongi pulls back from the microphone to catch his breath. Everyone else around him seems to hold onto their own, before Yoongi pulls himself back towards the mic to utter his last words for the night: “Thanks for coming out you guys. I really, really appreciate it.” 

In the midst of the claps and cheers, Yoongi smiles towards the audience, turns around to address the circle of crowd that has formed around him. 

As some of the crowd begins to disperse and some begin to linger for a potential meet and greet, Yoongi hastily remembers to return back to his mic for one last word to his audience. “And thank you guys so much for one million subs!” 

You smile to yourself as members of the crowd acknowledge his thanks with thanks of their own. As you watch Yoongi start disassembling his equipment for the night, you simply stand where you’ve stood for the past hour, allowing the crowd to simmer past you towards their next destination for the time. You pocket Yoongi’s phone into your coat, waiting for a few minutes, before you slip around towards the front of the crowd. There, a boy stands in front of a tripod, and his fingers dance around to unclip his camera from the standee. 

“You get the whole thing, Jungkook?” You ask with the tilt of your head. 

Jungkook whirls towards you, bright eyes full of excitement as he holds the camera with both his hands now. He utters your name. “Oh shit, yeah I did. We’ll get to see how Yoongi’s mic set up works.” He taps to the cord that connects the mic on Yoongi’s clothes and on his piano into the camera. 

You perk up at the sight of new technology. “Oooh, going fancy with us, I see JK. Very future.” 

Jungkook’s grin widens, as it always does when talking about cameras and filmography. “Yes. Future…” He stretches out the word with the exact dips, curls, and croaks the way Squidward does in that one Spongebob episode, which makes you laugh. Jungkook clicks through the video of Yoongi’s set that he’s just recorded, before he clicks the screen off and lowers the camera. “It’ll probably be better if I wait until we get back to look through the footage. I’m sure Yoongi is anxious to get back too…” He looks up towards where Yoongi is supposed to be standing a few feet away, but the younger boy trails off. “Hey, look over there.” He jerks his chin towards Yoongi. “Some guy is talking to him. Do you know him?” 

Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion—none of your college friends had texted saying they were going to come by and listen in on Yoongi’s set—you crane your own neck towards the direction Jungkook is gesturing to. Up ahead, Yoongi is indeed talking to some guy that you don’t recognize so of course it would peak your curiosity. 

It’s a feeling that increases tenfold when Yoongi looks up, seems to find you from his search, and points across the space right at you. There’s even something in his eyes that beg you to walk over to him. This makes your frown deepen, because what the hell is this about? 

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Min Yoongi doesn’t allow for too much vocal expression that doesn’t involve the assistance of a keyboard or a music arrangement, but he speaks into the microphone without thinking. “And thank you guys so much for one million subs!” His smile widens as the crowd responds with the claps and cheers of their own—all responding to him and communicating with him. This is it, this is what makes coming out to do these shows all worth it. Obviously there’s a thrill he gets from being in front of a camera and another thrill from uploading a video that people can access from all over the world. But to see the faces of the people who have left positive comments underneath those aforementioned videos… now that’s a completely different kind of feeling he didn’t think he would enjoy so much. 

So Yoongi steps away from the mic to put away his equipment for the day. He only gets so far as to open the case for his microphone and mic holder before he’s hearing his name behind him. Turning around, he is faced with a few unfamiliar and a few familiar fans that are asking him for pictures and a short conversation. He indulges them, of course he does, and he signs a few albums while he’s at it. 

It’s like you always teased him about: he really is a softie for his fans. 

The fan interactions only last for a few minutes, before another voice comes in—it’s a deeper voice and radiates so much confidence and presence that it actually halts the next fan from trying to finish a conversation with Yoongi. All gazes turn towards the source of the voice: it’s a tall man with broad shoulders, pointy boots and a long coat that drapes down, hands stuffed into the pocket of that very coat. He looks like a model. 

The man gives an apologetic smile. “Sorry for interrupting, but I need to request a chat with Mr. Min and am in a bit of a hurry. Do you mind if I cut in for a moment?” 

The fan gives a weak smile. “N-No problem.” 

Yoongi gives his own small smile. “Sorry about that. Oh, here.” He quickly makes a grab for the CD in her hesitant hands, signing his name across the sleek surface. “Thanks for coming by. Have a good rest of the night.” 

Her smile brightens. “Thank you so much!” With a quick little bow, she runs off towards her friends. 

This leaves Yoongi alone with the stranger. “What can I help you with?” 

The stranger extends his arm. “Mr. Min, I’m Kim Seokjin. I’m a music executive. Nice to meet you.” 

Music executive. These two words pique Yoongi’s interest. Just enough. “Wow, uh, nice to meet you sir.” Yoongi can’t help but lower his head slightly in a small bow as he returns Kim Seokjin’s handshake. 

Seokjin waves him off. “Oh, no need to be so formal Mr. Min. I just thought that I should finally come by to introduce myself. I’ve been following your Youtube channel for awhile and think that you’re extremely talented, very capable to be a recording artist, in fact.” 

Yoongi blinks in surprise, completely taken aback by the direction of this conversation. When he came out for his show today, having a conversation with a whole ass music executive hadn’t been on the list of things he was expecting. Of course, it was always a dream of his to be a recording artist. But he thought something like that would always just remain a dream.  “T-Thank you.” 

Seokjin continues. “Honestly, this is the third live performance of yours that I attended. Artists like you who radiate lots of passion and dedication both through the screen and on a stage are pretty rare. But your confidence and presence is quite admirable.” 

At that, Yoongi can’t help but laugh a little. He scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I wouldn’t call this a stage, Mr. Kim, it’s just a small street corner.” 

Seokjin laughs. “Fair enough—but you treat this little street corner like a stage and I find that cool. It appears that that’s what a lot of your fans think as well.” He pauses. “Mr. Min,” He starts up again after a moment. “Have you ever considered becoming a recording artist? Signing with a music label, releasing music and being able to reach millions of people? Having concerts in venues all over the world?” 

At the question, Yoongi utters a scoff of disbelief. “I have,” He acknowledges after a few minutes. “Having this youtube channel and these street performances is amazing…” 

“Of course,” Seokjin replies with a nod. 

“But sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to do more than that. So, to answer your question, I have thought about it before. Many times, in fact.” 

Seokjin nods again. “What if I told you that I was interested in signing you, Mr. Min?” 

Yoongi stares at that, stares and stares with unblinking eyes, one hundred percent of his attention on the man standing in front of him—waiting for the signs, waiting to see the laugh or the glint that gives away his prankster tendencies. But none of those things come. Seokjin just stares right back, challenging him to question him and agree to his claim. 

But Yoongi is younger, more naive, so of course he falls for it. “Why would you want to sign me?” 

Seokjin grins. “Mr. Min, I like to think I’m pretty good at spotting talented people who have a fully fledged career ahead of them—which is something my gut is telling me that you can do. And don’t worry, it’s not just the gut feeling I have. Like I mentioned, I’ve been keeping tabs on you for a few months and I’ve seen the numbers and the turn out. You clearly have what it takes to bring fans in, keep them, and create events that’ll drive their attention—and I want to help you make an opportunity out of that.” 

Yoongi hears the words of the older man, he really does, but he still cannot help the feeling of his head spinning at all the positive things Kim Seokjin says to him. Not only that he believes Yoongi has what it takes to make it, but that Yoongi has the concrete numbers to back that up. He is offering Yoongi an opportunity—an opportunity that seemed much too big for his youtube channel to birth, an opportunity that he had always just written off as nothing more than a dream. Yet for Seokjin to say that it could be more than that? And for all of this to happen on a normal performance night? 

Was Yoongi about to faint right now or what. 

Seokjin takes in Yoongi’s stunned silence and smiles. “I understand that this could be a lot to take in. No worries. I have a card for you to take—so call me when you make up your mind, alright?” He rummages into the pocket of his coat before producing a business card. The name KSJ RECORDS is printed on the surface, shiny lettering in sleek font. 

Yoongi takes it wordlessly. 

“By the way, do you have a manager?” Seokjin asks. “You can have them reach out to me if that’ll make it easier.” 

Yoongi stays quiet for a moment. He doesn’t have a manager; he never really saw the need for one if his schedule was as simple as it was. After all, it was more than enough for him to handle with you—! 

His mind explodes, as if someone had just plugged it into an outlet. His gaze flickers to you, where he sees you now standing just a few feet away next to Jungkook. You’re already staring back at him, but your head tilts slightly as if you could read his internal struggle. Before Yoongi can even figure why he’s looking at you, his body seems to act on its own. His arm raises, finger pointing straight at you. “She’s over there.” 

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, seeming to read something in his gaze that even Yoongi couldn’t figure out. Still, you walk over to them. “What’s going on?” 

Seokjin acts first, turning towards you and giving you a nod in greeting. “Hi there, I’m Kim Seokjin. Yoongi says you’re his manager, is that correct?” 

You blink, caught off guard by the question because you definitely were not Yoongi’s manager. He knows that you know this. You give Yoongi another look, and his eyes widen at you, poorly attempting to transmit a singular message: please. 

You understand immediately, of course you do (you’re his best friend), as you turn back to look at Seokjin. “I am, it’s nice to meet you.” 

The pair of you shake hands. “I was just telling Mr. Min over there that I was interested in signing him to my company. I’m a music executive for KSJ records, and think that he would make a great addition to the team.” 

It takes you a second to process the news, but you do so quicker and much more graceful than Yoongi could ever hope to do. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You turn to look at him, bright-eyed. “Yoongi, that’s amazing!” 

“He hasn’t made a decision yet,” Seokjin continues to explain. “I don’t blame him, it’s a lot to process. I just told him that he could have you call me once he made up his mind. Then, contracts could be drawn up.” He pauses for a moment, then seems to scramble on something when you don’t say anything immediately. “Of course, you would remain his manager. I’m sure that he’s gotten as far as he has with your help. I would want you part of Mr. Min’s team regardless.” Seokjin composes himself quickly afterwards. “Like I said, take some time to come to a decision and let me know. Let me give you my card as well.” He mirrors his previous movement at Yoongi towards you now until you have his business card between your fingers. 

“W-Well,” You start, lowering the card and offering up your hand. “Thank you so much for coming by, Mr. Kim. We’ll be sure to send you a response soon.” 

Seokjin takes your hand carefully, giving it a firm shake. “I look forward to hearing from you.” He turns to Yoongi. “And I hope we’ll be able to work together, Mr. Min.” 

Yoongi blinks, but he snaps himself out long enough to return Seokjin’s handshake. “Y-Yes…” He replies, still feeling completely starstruck by what the fuck this encounter had just been. “T-Thank you for stopping by…” He trails off. He stays quiet as he watches Seokjin give one last departing word before he’s turning around and making his way down the street of the city. 

When he regains some of his attention back, he turns to find that you’re already staring at him with an unreadable expression across your face. “Let’s head back,” You say at least, holding up the business card. “We have a lot to talk about.” 

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“No way,” Jungkook utters, completely shocked as he practically throws himself onto the couch in the living room. His camera equipment has been set down near the door, too much exhaustion present in its owner for the trudge back into his room. “You got casted today? That’s incredible, hyung!” 

“I-I didn’t even realize what was going on,” Yoongi grumbles back, crossing his arms over his chest. “I still wonder if that moment even happened or if I conjured it up in a strange fever dream.” 

You raise your hand slightly. “I was there. Can confirm that it was real.” You dig the business card out of your pocket and stare down at it. 

Jungkook hikes himself deeper into the couch as he turns on his phone to start scrolling. “I gotta know who this guy is. Kim Seokjin you said? Of KSJ records?” 

“Yeah, KSJ records,” Yoongi replies, looking down at his own business card. “He seemed pretty legit.” 

A whistle from Jungkook confirms that. “Yeah, he’s definitely real. And look at that!” Jungkook turns the phone over to expose the photographs of Seokjin. “Used to be a singer as well. I bet he knows a lot about the industry.” 

Yoongi nods. “He did seem nice.” 

“So, does that mean you’re planning to meet up with him? Get signed and all that jazz?” 

“All that jazz?” Yoongi echoes, but he shakes his head before he could go off on that tangent. “But honestly? Yeah, I’m thinking about it. I really do love youtube and do want to continue that, but I just feel like there’s more for me to explore with the right connections.” 

Jungkook grins. “Wow, I can’t believe my roommate is gonna be famous.” He says the last word with a bite of curl in his tone, flashing a teasing smile when Yoongi merely glares in embarrassment. Jungkook’s eyes flicker further back towards where you are standing in the apartment, calling your name to get your attention. “What do you think of the idea, Miss. Manager?” 

You perk up at that. “Before I get into my answer—when did I suddenly become your manager? I don’t remember us ever having that conversation.” You’re situated in the kitchen, drumming one hand on the counter and using the other hand to stir some last night boxed mac and cheese. 

Yoongi coughs at your observation, sinking himself further down into the couch. “I didn’t want Seokjin to think I was an idiot or something for not having a manager. But when I do officially make up my mind…” He angles his head to stare over at you. “You’ll do it for me, right? You’ll actually be my manager?” 

You frown, hesitant. “You’re serious about asking me? I don’t know anything about being a manager though.” 

Yoongi almost pouts at that, sitting up so he can whirl around completely on the couch to face you. “But you know me and my music career almost better than anyone! And you graduated with a business degree, what do you mean you don’t know anything about being a manager?” 

You flush hotly at that. “It was just a general business degree, Yoongi, it seems like what you need to make it big is a legit artist manager! Someone who will actually know how to schedule your tour dates or keep up with your public image and know exactly how to market you to the general public. You really want me doing that for you?” 

Yoongi gaps at that. “Okay, but who’s the one who literally schedules my street performances and helps me with editing my videos?” 

“Jungkook does some of the editing too,” You grumble underneath your breath. 

“Yah! Stop selling yourself short!” Yoongi interjects, pointing at you accusingly. He does, however, lower his finger long enough to turn and address his roommate. “Not that you don’t help out with any of the editing, Jungkook…” 

Jungkook waves him off. “I know where my talents lie.” 

Yoongi turns back to you. “Besides, Seokjin acknowledged that you and I basically come as a packaged deal. He saw that you were working just as hard to get me my gigs.” 

You give him a one-shouldered shrug, the hesitation still laced in your tone. “I don’t know Yoongi. I just don’t want to fuck up and jeopardize your shot.” 

Yoongi’s attention is one hundred percent focused on you now, so much so that he has made his way into the kitchen and has come so close that he can switch off the stove that held the macaroni and cheese. “Hey, listen, the only reason I’ve even been given a shot was thanks to you. You work just as hard as me to keep my channel up and running—and you already have another job on the side, so you don’t have to do anything for me. But you do.” He plants both his hands on your shoulders and twists you around. “Would you be my manager? Please? I seriously don’t trust anyone else enough to do this for me.” 

You sigh, staring down Yoongi as tensely as he’s staring you down. He sees the flicker of continuing hesitation in your eyes, and responds with just tightening his grip on your shoulders—trying to convey as much pleading as he could to you. Honestly, if you rejected his request, he knows that he wouldn’t be able to do this without you. 

So when you seem to realize that he won’t give up, you sigh and look down for a moment. “Damn that I can never say no to you, Min Yoongi.” 

Hearing those words of confirmation, Yoongi’s gaze hyper focuses on you. Even when you look back over at him, you don’t look away and that merely confirms the unspoken question of your participation. 

When he realizes that you aren’t going to outright reject him, and that you’re actually on board for him, Yoongi’s face lights up as he immediately envelops you into a hug. “Thank you! Thank you—wow, that means a lot to me.” 

You suck in a breath at his words, tensing slightly at his words, but you eventually learn to relax long enough to pat him slowly on the back to return his hug. “Don’t thank me yet,” You grumble into his shoulder. “We haven’t even had a meeting. I may not be able to negotiate as well as you think I can.” 

Yoongi shakes his head at that, tightening his hold on you. From his close proximity to you, he doesn’t notice the way your breath seems to shake and your heart seems to quicken. “It doesn’t matter,” He reassures, finally backing off. “I don’t care if you don’t know how to do all those fancy manager things. Like I said, you’re the only one I could trust to do this.” 

You stare at Yoongi for a few more seconds before you sigh in defeat, knowing that you’ve just put all your thoughts and feelings on the table for him to react to. “Alright then,” You say, placing one of your hands across your chest and onto your shoulder—atop his hand still lingering. “I’ll make the call tomorrow then.” 

Yoongi nods. “Thank you.” 

There’s a brief silence that covers the pair of you, before a voice rings from the living room. “Do you mind bringing the mac and cheese over here?” 

.

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CHAPTER 2: THE REQUEST 

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One year later, and you learn that the crowds from Yoongi’s street performances are nothing in comparison to this. This—overwhelming and unmatched in all degrees, the screams and the cries and the shoves, all of it echoes around you just as it has for the past few months. Surprisingly, you’ve always been okay with being a little more firm if the situation called for such and today is absolutely no exception. 

“Off,” You say gently, tapping an outstretched hand trying to get past you and grab at the person behind you. 

The girl you’ve intercepted jerks her hand back as if you’ve burned her, her eyes wide and vaguely hurt as if you’ve singled her out specifically from this crowd. Rather, it’s more along the lines of keeping your client safe and trying to avoid the incident from last week. You block the memory out for the time being. 

You feel a hot breath at your ear. “If you make my fans cry, I swear—!” 

“Try to be less desirable then,” You bite back over your shoulder, holding up your hand when another fan tries to shove a sharpie past you. “Sorry, but we’re in a bit of a rush,” You say to the boy. “Come to the next concert—we’ll have a meet and greet then too.” 

The boy deflates, but that expression only lasts for a second before he seems to brighten slightly at whatever has just occurred behind you. Stealing a glance, you realize it’s because Min Yoongi has just thrown him an apologetic wink. 

The car appears in view a lot quicker than you had been anticipating, which is good as you muster all your energy to pull the handle that opens the car door. You step off to the side, further cutting off the fans who are trying to keep Yoongi from entering the vehicle. Soon enough, a taller and more dominating figure appears next to you as Yoongi manages to slide his way into the back seat. You and Jungkook exchange a nod—you had been in the front of Yoongi’s protection squad and he had been in the back, and the arrangement continues to work wonders. As long as Yoongi doesn’t lose a whole sleeve (like last time) then you would consider this departure a success. 

Jungkook tilts his head towards the still opened car door, allowing you to enter the car yourself. As soon as you’re settled, Jungkook leans forward to join you. He slides his way into the seat all the way in the back of the car. Closing the door behind him, you signal Taehyung to take off with a nod into the rearview mirror. 

The screams and calls of Yoongi’s name are loud, and pass through the metal structure of the car as if it is nothing. But you know that the boy doesn’t mind, and that he lives and breathes moments like these as he has for the past few months. 

It’s crazy to think how much a year could change, after you and Yoongi decided to meet up with Seokjin to discuss how Yoongi was going to be signed under KSJ records. Seokjin had talked about the big plans he had in pushing Yoongi towards the spotlight—and goals like an album, a concert, and meet-and-greets around the country had been promised for Yoongi’s first year. 

And of course, Yoongi was completely enchanted by the promises. Just one final ‘of course’ confirmation to have you as his manager, and Yoongi was signing on the dotted line. Truth be told, you didn’t know what KSJ records would have in store for Yoongi—how long that glimmer of passion would remain in the boy’s eyes. 

A year later, and you acknowledge that you might have underestimated Kim Seokjin. As a former performer, he knew all the ins and outs of the music industry and his well established connections as well as his good ear for good music meant that Yoongi was allowing his music to get the treatment it deserved. Pair that with Yoongi’s growing popularity on Youtube, and it all equates to an EP that debuts with tens of thousands of copies sold within the first week. The EP itself hadn’t been much—just six songs that contained a mix of old songs and new songs, but all written by Yoongi. His previous (although small) experience with producing and arrangement allowed him constant access into the various studios at KSJ records, where he learned from all the other producers on how to make good music.

The hands-on, personal touch Seokjin allowed Yoongi to deliver in his music had been a good call and a large contributor to the success of the EP. You recall fans praising the album and talking about how it matched Yoongi’s youtube aesthetic perfectly, but just with the higher quality element that top notch equipment could bring to music. 

In a way, the current atmosphere of concerts and meet-and-greets is just a way to celebrate the success of Yoongi’s music career launching off into the stratosphere. 

“Hey.” There’s a gentle tap against your head, and you jump before turning to face Yoongi in the seat next to you. “You good?” 

You blink, bringing your finger up to brush the hair out of your face. “Yeah, just spaced out.” 

“Cool. I thought you might have fallen asleep.” 

“If anyone should have fallen asleep by now, it’s you,” You point out. “I think that today’s meet-and-greet was the largest one you’ve had so far.” 

“Don’t worry,” Yoongi says. “I have every intention of following asleep as soon as I fall into bed. Plus, don’t let me hold a pen for the next week—I think my wrist almost fell off.” 

You laugh, angling yourself so you can face him. “But you love it, don’t you?” 

Yoongi’s gaze softens as he lets your question sink in. “Course I do. I never realized how cool it would be to have an audience sing my lyrics back to you. More than that, it was all lyrics I used to write in the apartment, or in between lectures back at college, or late into the night on my phone… back when the idea of all this was just a dream.” He pivots his body towards you, eyes bright as the passion for his current place in life seems to have gotten him hyped up again. “You know, during the meet and greet, this girl came up to me all confidently and told me that my album got her through a tough time. I think that’s when it really hit me that this was all happening.” 

The corner of your lips quirk up into a smile. “Oh yeah, I actually do remember you writing those songs and you showing me the lyrics. You speak from the heart, and your fans understand that. Helps that you’re pretty cute too. Anyone with eyes could see that.” As soon as those words escape your lips, you almost want to chide yourself and immediately throw yourself out of the car. Why would you say something like that—why would you openly admit to Yoongi’s cuteness? Your face grows warm at the realization, leaving you to hope that Yoongi won’t notice your flustered state. 

Yoongi doesn’t notice. He’s too busy gawking at your observation, too busy tearing his gaze away from you to stare firmly out of the car window. 

Jungkook simply shifts his gaze between the two of you. 

In the midst of the silence, you fish out your phone and start scrolling through your social media pages. Due to the third party cookie ads that follow you around, you immediately notice news of Yoongi’s concert of the day has started hitting various news sites—most articles praising Yoongi on his song selections and live adaptations of his music to suit the concert style more. Reading these articles leave you unable to stop the grin, because Yoongi deserves this so fucking much that you could have sworn your heart sings a little as you continue reading. 

It’s a moment that lasts for only a couple of seconds, as recommended articles start coming up that do well in setting up the gray cloud. With the increased amount of attention that comes from being a newly top rated best selling album artist, so does the intrusion into personal life that follows—the dark side of the media, the side that just loves to stick its nose in places it does not belong. It’s something that you had been seeing since Yoongi’s youtube account hit five hundred thousand, but at the time these kinds of questions were more dark shadows or curious inquiries taken in the form of casual comments. 

Now, those questions have become much more normalized, as a common curiosity seems to have taken form from all these drama articles: was Min Yoongi dating anyone? And even better: who is Min Yoongi writing all his love songs for? 

As if love was limited to romantic relationships, and wasn’t a feeling one could recreate from other love songs or romantic comedies. Or just the feelings of growing up. 

“We’re here!” Taehyung calls from the front seat, as you jump up from your train of thought. Refocusing on your surroundings, you realize that you’ve made it into the parking lot of the hotel. 

You sigh, regathering your belongings that have moved around during the drive. “Thanks, Taehyung.” 

“Hey.” Taehyung utters for you to come closer to him as soon as the pair of you step out of the car. He jerks toward Yoongi, who is exiting from his side of the car before quickly side-stepping to let Jungkook come out as well. “Was that flirting back there?” 

You protest hotly at once, your hand raising up and wave side-to-side frantically in complete denial. “N-No, it wasn’t—!” 

“Okay, good,” Taehyung interrupts, leaning back to stuff his hands into his pants pockets. “Because if that was the case I think we would have had to re-evaluate your definition of flirting—!” 

“Will you stop?” You squeak. 

“Is everything okay?” Yoongi asks, having rounded around the car to stare over at you and Taehyung. 

You whirl around quickly, tightening up your expression once more to make sure that any remnants of your conversation with Taehyung would be undetected. “Yep!” You say immediately. “Everything is fine. Let’s get going, yeah?” You allow Jungkook to lead the four of you out of the parking lot and into the elevator that’ll take you to the main floor of the hotel room. Yoongi has to slip on a pair of glasses and a baseball cap, just on the off chance that a fan might be staying in the same room—it happened a few stops ago—before the four of you are making your way through the lobby. The four of you have reserved four separate rooms for your overnight stay in the city, rooms that you have already checked into earlier that day, so it feels nice to just make your way to the elevator and select the correct floor. 

Taehyung decides to check in first for the night, waving you all off and congratulating Yoongi on another well done performance. Jungkook lingers around as you make your way to Yoongi’s room next. 

“Thanks for walking me,” Yoongi says, sliding the key card into the slot and pulling out when he hears the beep of confirmation on his door. 

Jungkook flashes him a thumbs up. “Good show today. Now get some rest.” 

Yoongi nods, just about to close the door when you make a sudden noise from the back of your throat. “OH!” You call out suddenly, startling both boys as you reach your arm out suddenly to prevent Yoongi from closing the door. He had been so close too. “Sorry, I just realized. Seokjin sent me an email of some deadlines he wanted me to go over with you. Your sleep is gonna have to be put on hold.” 

Yoongi grumbles something under his breath. 

You turn to look at Jungkook. “We’ll be fine, Jungkook, go rest up—you deserve it.” 

Jungkook nods, grinning at Yoongi. “See you guys around.” 

“No fair…” Yoongi pouts as he watches Jungkook stroll down the hall to reach his hotel room. “Why do they get to rest and I don’t? I’m so tired…” 

“Well, this is the price of fame,” You retort with the shrug of your shoulders. “You have your face the paparazzi want to see, and the name that sells the albums. Naturally, it means you just have to put in more work than everyone else.” 

Yoongi runs a hand through his hair, still pouting but less so as he opens the door once more for the both of you to enter. “When you put it that way…” 

You giggle behind him. “For the fans, Min Yoongi.” 

You immediately task yourself with throwing yourself atop his bed, surprisingly put together despite the fact that you had checked everyone in earlier that day. You would have assumed he would have taken a nap. But the bed doesn’t look slept in at all. 

Yoongi notices your observation immediately. “I was too nervous to fall asleep earlier today,” He provides, taking a seat on the couch on the other side of the room. “So what was it that Seokjin needed you to go over with me?” 

“It’s short, I promise,” You reassure, pulling out the iPhone from your pocket. As soon as you unlock the device, you’re faced with the articles you had previously been looking up—the ones about Yoongi’s dating life. Without meaning to, you sigh heavily at the sight. 

Yoongi quirks an eyebrow. “What’s up?” 

You jerk up. “Oh, no, nothing sorry. I just…” You hold the phone up for Yoongi to see. “These articles about you and your dating life—it’s getting worse.” 

“Oh.” Yoongi’s fingers fiddle with each other. “Yeah, I’ve seen a few of those floating around too. Honestly, for someone who writes a lot of songs about love, these curiosities don’t really surprise me. I wish that they wouldn’t be so intrusive.” 

“Unfortunately, people always think it’s their right to know who these love songs are for.” You spare him a quick glance, only to realize that he’s already staring at you. Hastily, you look back down. “If the songs are even for anyone, that is.” 

Yoongi is quiet for a moment. “Right.” 

“Anyways…” You exit your internet app, tapping through until Seokjin’s email comes up. “Seokjin just wants to know your progress on the new songs. He’s trying to gauge your progress so he can see whether or not to arrange studio time for you to start recording.” 

The new songs—it’s a reference to Seokjin’s next plan for Yoongi’s career. With the launch of the EP and the current success that it has been harboring, it makes sense that the next step would be to launch a full-length album. Technically it could be called a repackage, since the album would most likely feature a few songs from the EP and cover the rest of the spots with new music. 

But aforementioned new music takes time to write, not that Yoongi ever had a problem with writing music. That has always been second nature for him—and was something he could do anywhere so long as he had a functioning, conscious mind. It was all just a matter of whether or not he could create the required number of actual songs within the scheduled deadline. With those higher expectations, time definitely plays the biggest issue and it makes sense if Yoongi couldn’t write proper songs given the current circumstances. 

Nonetheless, Yoongi nods at the question. “I actually have rough drafts of most of the songs, if that was okay with Seokjin. We could probably schedule some meetings to polish up the writing, since a lot of them are still in the beginning stage.” 

You blink at his answer, surprised by his response. You had been expecting one, or maybe two songs to be written out but to have all eight songs written out? “W-Wow…” You utter. “You wrote so many songs so quickly.” 

Yoongi shrugs, but he does look a little prideful at your words. You don’t notice his lingering gaze. “I have a lot to reflect on, what can I say.” 

“I-I mean,” You stammer, not really hearing his response. “I could schedule the meeting with Seokjin, but if he knows that you have everything basically done, he’ll probably be okay with giving you a little more time to polish up your work yourself.” 

Yoongi ponders this, but he shakes his head. “No, go ahead and schedule the meeting. It’s actually nice having extra hands in the music.” 

You nod. “Alright then, I’ll go and do that. I think I should also just go over tomorrow’s schedule with you.” Quickly, you relay the time details of what tomorrow’s day will look like since you’re flying out for another show the next morning. You give him some details about the stage, how many people are going, and how many people he will be meeting afterwards. It’s a standard review conversation, one of the many that you’ve had with Yoongi over the year. “And… that should be it,” You wrap up as soon as you’ve reviewed the day. Looking over the schedule once more, you cannot help but sigh once more. 

“What is it this time?” Yoongi asks from the side. 

“Oh, no nothing!” You reassure with a promising smile. “Just another busy day.” 

Yoongi gives you a grin, but you can see the exhaustion clinging to the corner of his eyes. “There’s only a few more stops left of the concert—what happened to you being positive rock?” 

At that, you laugh nervously. “Sorry, sorry. You’re right.” You clench a fist in front of him and pump it up to showcase a display of energy. “Another day of excitement and one more day towards fulfilling your dreams!” You lower your fist and give him a slightly dryer look. “How was that?” 

“I could have done without the look at the end, but it’ll do, I guess.” Yoongi stands up from his place on the couch and throws himself atop his bed. His head ends up near you, his back on the mattress, and his feet dangling off the side. “There’s only a few stops left of the tour, and for some people this is their first time seeing me live. And for other people, maybe they saw me back when I would perform on the streets, so in that case it’s their first time seeing me perform on a stage and everything!” He lifts one of his hands up into his field of view. “Either way, I just want to do the best I can for the people that take time out to come see me and support me. Because I owe them everything—I owe them more than what I can give them.” 

You don’t say anything to that. What could you say, anyways? Instead, you reach over and run your fingers through his hair. After a second, you retract your hand. You shouldn’t let yourself linger for too long anyways. “It’s late,” You say, a tone of finality in your voice. “I should head to my room. I’ll make sure to let Seokjin know your update.” You slide off the bed into a standing position. “You should get some rest.” You turn to him. “You may not think you can pay back your fans, but you probably help them out every single day. The same way they help you out too.” 

Yoongi tilts his head back to see you. Upside down, but still look at you nonetheless. He grins. “There’s that positive energy I was looking for. Thanks.” 

You laugh, already making your way towards his hotel room door. “Thank me by giving me another kickass performance tomorrow. Makes my job a whole lot easier.” 

. 

The following weeks of concert tours pass by without a hitch. To Yoongi, any event now that doesn’t end up with a torn sleeve and nail scratches up and down his arm is a success. And you haven’t freaked out for the remaining dates as you had when security had been at its worst—so he’d consider that the icing on top of the cake. Although he’s glad to finally be be home and be anchored to his own bed and be in his own space for the first time in months, he knows that his first concert experience to celebrate his first EP had truly been a memorable undertaking. 

And it had been more successful than anyone at KSJ records could have predicted. At least, that’s what Seokjin tells him when Yoongi arrives at the studio the following day to start going through the process of polishing up his song lyrics. 

“It seems that you really enjoyed yourself throughout the tour,” Seokjin remarks as Yoongi steps into the former’s office. Seokjin is scrolling through some articles on his laptop. He closes it as Yoongi takes a seat and regards the younger boy with a look of curiosity and wonder. “How was it?” 

Yoongi brightens. “So much fun. I didn’t realize how cool it would feel to have audience members sing song lyrics right back at me, but that was probably my favorite moment.” 

“Ah, of course, first time for everything as they always say.” Seokjin folds his fingers atop one another. “And how was your team?” He says your name, given that you are Yoongi’s manager. “Along with Jungkook and Taehyung? I wish I could have given you more people, but we didn’t know how crazy moving you around was going to be.” 

Yoongi nods. “I mean… it was fine. Jungkook was really good.” He can’t help but think that Jungkook should have been good—after all, Yoongi is the reason why Jungkook has been getting safe with job security recently. “And Taehyung too. I think having the small team was good because we ended up all getting really connected and had this whole system in place after a few stops.” 

“I heard a fan tore your sleeve,” Seokjin points out, looking mildly concerned. “How did that go?” 

“Oh, it was just a one time thing,” Yoongi tries to brush off with the wave of his hand. He thinks of you, because of course he does. He mentions you. “She would tap the fans who were getting too close. It was reassuring, honestly.” 

“That’s good to hear,” Seokjin says. “And I’ve heard that you’ve been making a lot of headway with the upcoming album. So we’re definitely gonna set some time for us to go through the lyrics and structure what you’ve come up with already. But I did want to go over something with you first—the main reason I called you in, actually.” 

Yoongi tilts his head. “Okay, what’s up?” 

Seokjin re-opens his laptop, and clicks through a few links before he’s pivoting the laptop in a 180 degree motion so Yoongi can see the screen. At once, he’s faced with several articles, all centering around the topic that has been haunting him since the beginning of his concert journey. He gets a flashback to one of the nights you came into his hotel room to discuss scheduling, and how you had mentioned this particular topic showing up more and more.

Yoongi had known it was becoming a problem. He just didn’t think it was something that required urgent discussion. 

“As I’m sure you’re aware, your growing popularity means that people are developing a growing interest in your relationship. Since you are labeled specifically as a song-writer who writes songs about growing up, struggles, and love, this only heightens people’s curiosity.” 

Yoongi allows Seokjin to continue talking, as he moves forward in his chair to actually scroll through one of the articles Seokjin has pulled up. It’s entitled: UP AND COMING SINGER SONGWRITER MIN YOONGI IS DEFINITELY IN A RELATIONSHIP, BUT WITH WHO? As he scrolls down, there’s several people that are listed as potential girlfriends to Yoongi’s partnership—some people he does not know at all, some people he has only seen once. 

You’re on the list too, and Yoongi’s eyes widen when he identifies your picture amongst the lot. He zeroes in on the description underneath the simple title: Yoongi’s manager? Although most manager and artist relationships are platonic, we can’t leave this one out! Fans have tracked down Min Yoongi’s current manager as an old assistant from Min Yoongi’s youtube days, so there’s definitely some history between them! 

“This article has been blowing up. You may or may not know, but people making assumptions about your relationship status could be dangerous. Since you write songs about relationships, it leaves a lot of room for error and scandals, especially if news sites decide to publish something or someone else with bad intentions try to claim you wrote a song about them. Or something else of the sort.” 

Yoongi nods slowly at that, not entirely understanding what direction Seokjin is going with his build up. It makes sense though. Leaving Yoongi out in the open like this could be dangerous for his career. “S-So, what ideas do you have to combat that?” 

“I’ve been thinking about this in the recent weeks you’ve been on tour,” Seokjin says quietly, pressing his hands together. “I think that we should push your relationship status into the public—get you a girlfriend to maintain your ‘pure romantic heart’ reputation so it looks like you’re writing love songs solely for your girlfriend.” 

It takes a second for the words to sink in. “Aaaaah,” Yoongi finally says, but his voice sounds far away all of a sudden, the further time seems to creep on. Sure, he’s seen this concept of surface relationships between in film and television—and the idea of it makes some sense. For someone whose best songs were related to moments of being in love, surely most people would suspect that the inspiration for those songs had to come from somewhere. If Yoongi came out to admit his lack of relationship experience, would people approve of that? Or would they think he was lying? 

In that regard then, it makes sense that Seokjin would come up with the idea. But faking a relationship for the sake of faking a relationship has never been something Yoongi thought he would ever have to go through. 

Mainly because first of all—who would play Yoongi’s girlfriend? 

Now, Yoongi isn’t the worst actor in the world. But he can be stiff at times, and if Seokjin wants to push a relationship status into the public eye then Yoongi imagines that this girlfriend would be someone Yoongi felt the most natural around. Someone he wouldn’t mind pretending to be in a relationship with. 

Would Yoongi even get a say in the matter? Or would Yoongi’s approval be the only requirement before Seokjin went off to find a girlfriend for Yoongi himself?

“D-Did you have someone in mind?” Yoongi finds himself asking instead. 

Seokjin hums, tapping his chin with his finger. “Not at the moment. I just wanted to bring it up with you in case you had an idea for someone.” Mindlessly, he reaches to take back the laptop and flip it back towards him. This exposes him to the article Yoongi had been previously scrolling through—one where pictures of you are plastered over the current screen. 

At the sight, Seokjin wavers slightly, staring down your pictures and furrowing his eyebrows. Yoongi looks over, noticing immediately that the laptop (and the pictures of you from that article) is no longer right in front of him but rather in front of Seokjin instead. When he glances over at Seokjin, he finds the older man lost in thought, running the side of his finger across his lip. Back and forth, clearly pondering something. 

“Yes…” Seokjin says after a moment. “That could work, actually.” He looks across the desk at Yoongi. “Good idea, Yoongi. I think originally, I would have said no, but these pictures and this description actually makes a valid point.” 

Yoongi blinks, not really connecting the dots right away. “Uh, sorry, Seokjin, but I’m not really following…” 

Seokjin makes a noise, gesturing to his laptop screen that he has just gotten back from Yoongi. “You were suggesting Y/N as your fake girlfriend, weren’t you? I’m assuming that’s why you stopped on these pictures. My initial thought was that it probably wouldn’t work, but actually considering your history with each other it seems like this could be the most likely case scenario.” 

It takes another second for the information to fully process. You. His fake girlfriend. Seokjin misunderstanding that unintentionally stopping on your pictures meant that Yoongi was trying to convey some sort of message. 

You—playing the role of his fake girlfriend, the ‘supposed’ inspiration for all his music. It would be funny if it wasn’t so ironic. 

It would be funny if you didn’t inspire all of his music—but you do. And Yoongi isn’t laughing.  

He should say something. He knows that it would make sense, as Seokjin is claiming, but it would also potentially inch him towards a can of worms he has been so sure would never see the sunlight. More than that, having you as his fake girlfriend would bring him the closest he has ever been to feeling hopeful. 

He really should say something. 

But for some reason, the words don’t come out. He just lets Seokjin believe his ingenious plan. “Yes, yes!” Seokjin continues after the many moments of silence that lapse between the two of you. “This could work actually. You guys have known each other for years, and older fans of yours from the youtube days would definitely recognize Y/N. That way, the announcement of your relationship wouldn’t seem entirely out of line, especially if we say that you guys have been dating for years. It also makes sense that we could say you becoming Yoongi’s ‘manager’ was always part of a cover up—after all, that’s what they did in that movie That Thing You Do…” 

The more Seokjin drones on and on about his plan, and how exactly he intends to work up to it, the more nervous Yoongi gets. Was Seokjin actually planning on doing this—enlist you as Yoongi’s fake girlfriend and drag you along to participate in this facade? Yoongi is mildly shocked. He should have known Seokjin would follow through on the question, but he had just assumed that today was just the idea phase and that plans to arrange this fake relationship would take weeks. 

But if there’s anything Yoongi knows about Seokjin, it’s that the man knows how to get something done. Quickly, too. In Seokjin’s word, it’s a natural occurrence for a simple idea phase to morph into actual concrete plans within the time span of a day. Yoongi should have planned this out better—but then again, he didn’t think that him accidentally stopping on a picture of you from a fucking drama article would serve as the catalyst for Seokjin’s ideas. 

Yoongi straightens up onto his feet. “Why don’t I talk to Y/N first about this?” He asks. “The idea may seem good on paper, but if she’s uncomfortable then it’s a no go.” 

Seokjin studies Yoongi carefully, before the former relents. “Okay, fair enough. Let me know what happens.” 

As soon as the pair of them exchange the last nods, Yoongi is dashing out of Seokjin’s office with one clear objective in mind: to talk to you. 

Luckily, you aren’t too far away. You’re in your office, typing up something on your laptop and your eyes scanning through what he can only assume are emails. It’s eyes that widen when Yoongi practically storms into your space, shutting the door behind him. 

You straighten up. “Yoongi, you alright? You look like you just ran a marathon.” 

Yoongi doesn’t even realize that his chest is heaving until you point that out. He coughs. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Didn’t run a marathon though.” 

Your eyebrows furrow, but the corner of your lips turn up in mild curiosity. “Okay. What’s up?” 

Yoongi presses his lips together. Even with the many feet of space between the two of you—he can make out the glimmer in your eyes from the sunlight pouring through the window, he can see the shadow of your eyelashes and the line where your collarbone dips below your blouse. Fuck, he’s in deep. There’s no way he could ask you something so monumental to the downfall of his sanity. But he knows that it’s too late to just walk away. Partly because he’s already in your office and partly because the idea has already been planted into Seokjin’s head. And if Yoongi didn’t speak up, then Seokjin was going to. 

So Yoongi opens his mouth. “I may or may not have gotten you into a situation,” He starts up. 

You snort, of course not taking him seriously. “That might just be the summary of our relationship.” 

“No, I don’t think you understand…” Yoongi pleads, stepping deeper into the office. 

You frown at his behavior, closing your laptop this time to address him completely. “Okay, what’s up, really? You’re kind of scaring me…” 

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s not… scary or anything…” He trails off. 

You raise an eyebrow. “Let me be the judge of that.” 

So Yoongi shoves his hands deep into his coat pocket, and slides next to your desk, leaning against the surface as he starts his story. He covers everything: from Seokjin bringing up the drama articles about his relationship status, how he had scrolled through and saw your name, how Seokjin had misinterpreted that as a sign, and worse of all, how Seokjin thought it would be a good idea for you to play as Yoongi’s fake girlfriend. 

To say you’re appalled would be an understatement. You’re staring up at him, eyes wide and lips parted. “Are you serious?” You ask. “B-But I’m your manager!” You scoff at yourself. “No, more than that—I’m your friend, Yoongi. Seokjin must be on something. He has to be. What did you guys decide on? Please tell me that you said no.” 

“W-Well, there was no agreement or disagreement,” Yoongi argues weakly. “I walked out before Seokjin could make up his mind.” He pauses for a moment, something sinking in. “Wait a minute,” He brings up, a slightly teasing smile across his face. “Do you really find the idea of dating me that gross?” 

You make a noise in the back of your throat at his accusation, and you immediately begin to scramble. “I-I mean,” You start, the flush present in your throat as you start speaking very quickly at once. Both your hands go up in a defensive position. “It’s not that I don’t find you gross… because I don’t! You’re a very attractive person—it’s just that—we’re friends and—stop looking at me like that!” You stand up, slamming your palms onto the table when you realize that he’s just flashing you a shit-eating grin. 

He has half the mind to be mildly disheartened that you are so against the idea of dating him. But then again, he’d probably say no to fake dating you if he was being forced into a situation like this. He’d definitely say no. 

Okay, he’d probably say no. 

“Well, I told Seokjin that if you were uncomfortable with the idea, then it’d be a no go and he seemed to respect the idea.” 

Still standing, you sigh and press your face into the palm of your hand. Your fingers brush through your hair. “Okay, let’s step back for a moment.” You remove your hands from your face. “If I were to say yes, what exactly would that entail?” 

Yoongi manages a weak one-shouldered shrug. “I’m not sure exactly. Seokjin would probably have a better idea of that. I imagine KSJ records would release a statement about our relationship, and we would be scheduled to go to variety shows or press interviews together. We’d probably have to go out to restaurants together too. Hold hands…” The thought of holding your hand dries up his throat a little, but he passes it off well by faking a cough. “That sort of stuff.” 

You glare at him. “And what about your fans? You’re trying to preserve this ‘pure romantic heart’ image, but I’m sure there’s a lot of fans that like to believe the songs could be about them.” 

He shrugs. “That—I’m not too sure about. I imagine Seokjin prefers the idea of my fans believing that my heart only belongs to one person rather than them believing that I’ll just write a love song for anyone.” 

You nod. “That’s valid, I guess.” 

Yoongi stares at you from the smaller space of distance between the two of you. “Again, you don’t have to say yes. Frankly, I think it’s a batshit crazy idea.” 

“It’s not… completely out of line.” After a moment, you sigh. “I can actually understand why Seokjin would get the idea of trying to set you up like this. The news articles will probably get worse. And since your songs market themselves on being personal, people want to know who the songs are about. If Seokjin gave the public a face, then there’d be no room for assumptions and even less room for scandals to come about.” You give him a look. “Sadly, if you were to stay single, there’s only so much I could do as your manager to control that bad press.” 

Yoongi raises both his eyebrows up. “Does that mean you’re saying yes—?” 

“I’m not… saying anything yet.” You plop yourself back down into your seat. “I’m not saying yes. But I’m not saying no either.” You sink further into your seat. “Hopefully Seokjin will change his mind before I have to make up mine?” 

That’s an unlikely case. But Yoongi doesn’t argue with you, and you don’t wait for him to. He simply nods one more time before leaving your office. 

.

You would be lying if you said you never thought about dating Yoongi. Of course you have. You’re sure that you’ve had a crush on the boy within the first week of your introductions. This crush explains so many of your past actions—your support for his Youtube channel, your fulfillment as his manager, and now this pull towards agreeing to become his fake girlfriend. And you hate yourself for the every second you consider it a good idea. 

Because it’s not a good idea. It’s a terrible idea. More than that, it’s an unfair idea. Agreeing to fake date someone you actually want to date seems like too cruel a hand to be dealt. Considering your more-often-than-not fragile state, setting yourself up with Yoongi in this way already seems doomed to fail. It would be unfair to Yoongi, because agreeing to this would deprive him of an actual relationship he could be happy in. But it would be more unfair to you, because losing control would mean losing your best friend. 

So you don’t give Yoongi a positive confirmation. But you don’t give him a negative one either. See, you don’t have the heart to just outwardly reject him, because you know that he needs you to help him with this. You know that he understands the situation he’s been put in, and that getting a fake girlfriend seems to be the best case scenario. You know that it wouldn’t make sense with any other girl—it had to be you. Saying no straight to face is something that you don’t have the heart to do. 

Rather than give a yes or no answer, you opt for the second best option: hold off and avoid indulging too deeply. 

It’s a strategy that works for a grand total of one day. 

The following day post Yoongi’s conversation, you show up to work with information that Yoongi is going to start recording songs for his new album. His first full-length album, at that—something he has been working hard for since the beginning. Every second of free time available to him during the tour, during off-days had been dedicated to writing the music necessary to fill the album. You know how hard he’s been working—you’ve watched throughout the duration of his tour, and spoke to him for many nights about the progression of this album. 

You just didn’t think that the recording part would be coming around so soon. 

This is a thought you reflect to Seokjin when you enter the recording studio. Yoongi is already behind the glass, and his voice is amplified in the studio, where they appear to be discussing the arrangement for how a song is going to go. This leaves you vaguely surprised—if Yoongi is in the booth already, it means that there must have been some ground covered on how the arrangement was supposed to go. Just how long has Yoongi been in the studio before you showed up? 

“Ah, good morning,” Seokjin greets from the back of the studio, seated on the couch and his arms resting along the back. “Don’t get mad, but Yoongi worked through the night again.” 

Your lips part into a gape as your eyes widen in disbelief. “Please tell me you’re joking,” You return. 

Seokjin merely laughs in return. “I wish I was! When I left, he was going at it with Namjoon and when I came back this morning they were still going at it. But, you know, who am I to rain in on a breakthrough moment?” 

You relent your control of the situation slightly (only slightly) at Seokjin’s rhetorical question. Namjoon is one of Seokjin’s top producers and arrangers—very gifted in songwriting and how to make a good song. From the year that you and Yoongi have been a part of KSJ records, Yoongi and Namjoon have gotten along great and their close relationship has been the reason for many late nights. The pair of them were always caught in the drift of making sleepless but record-selling hits. 

Like Seokjin said, who are you to interrupt art in progress? 

Although you have a sudden flurry of desires and objectives (mainly to reprimand Yoongi for being so careless with a slap or a hit where you could put him to sleep yourself), you bite it down long enough to shed your jacket and rest it on the armrest of the couch. “Fine, fine, I’ll let it go this time.” 

Seokjin chuckles at that, removing his gaze from you and sliding it across the studio back into the booth where Yoongi is still in the midst of discussing something with Namjoon. Something about how the arrangement isn’t as smooth or on beat as they had originally intended. “You’re a good manager,” He says at last. “I can tell that you really do care about him and will definitely give him a peace of your mind once he’s done with today’s session. And what’s more…” He laughs. “He’ll actually let you walk all over him. You’d be surprised how often I see managers in it just for the money, where they don’t have their artist’s best interest in mind. You’re definitely not like that.” 

You slide into the vacant seat next to Seokjin. “If I don’t keep an eye on him, I know that no one else will. It’s nothing against other people, but no one else in his life is as involved in his career as I am. But I’m his friend first, and his manager second.” 

The pair of you are quiet for a moment, as you watch Namjoon fiddle with some of the switches on the music panel. They seem to come to an agreement on the newly modified beat, because it starts playing through the speakers in the booth. Yoongi presses his hands against the headphones he’s wearing, and starts to relay the lyrics into the microphone. It starts off slow—Yoongi has his phone in his hands to read the lyrics, to double check the flow and the tempo. After a few lines, he stops. “Ah—let’s reword this line. I do like the change we made to the music, so let’s change the lyrics to match.” His voice is amplified through the studio. 

Namjoon presses a button on the music panel, allowing him to communicate with Yoongi. “Sure. Want to head in and make the changes?” 

Yoongi ponders this for a moment, but shakes his head. “Give me a second. Maybe if I listen to the song again, I can feel what I vibe with.” 

“Sounds good.” Namjoon releases his hold on the button, and turns around in his chair to face you and Seokjin. The sight of you makes his eyes widen, as Namjoon coughs back a choke. “O-Oh, Y/N, you’re here—!” 

His words make you narrow your eyes as you point a finger at him. “YAH! Which one of you was it that contributed to your all-nighter?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t know!” Namjoon protests, raising both of his hands up in defense. “We were both in the groove!” 

You lower your finger with a sigh. “You’re lucky that you’re in the middle of helping Yoongi achieve his dreams. Otherwise I’d kick both of your asses.” 

Namjoon seems to realize that you’re not messing around, because he emits a nervous laugh. “I promise we’ll be a little more careful next time…” 

“Oh, Namjoon, I rewrote some of the lines!” Yoongi calls from inside the booth. 

Namjoon whirls around in his chair again to press the button. “Sounds good, let’s do it.” 

As the music starts up again, Seokjin decides to speak up once more. “Yoongi told me that he talked to you about the little fake dating plan I had.” 

The mention of it, as well as your previous internal insistence of not talking or thinking about that, makes you stiffen. “He might have mentioned something like that.” 

When you turn to look at Seokjin, he has an unreadable look glinting in his eyes. “Since you were talking about achieving Yoongi’s dreams and all…” He trails off. “I wanted to apologize for bringing that idea onto you so quickly. I didn’t really consider how you’d feel about the arrangement. I just wanted to try and do what I thought was best for Yoongi.” 

You sigh. “I know why you thought of the idea. And I totally agree with you—I think that if he wants to carry on, this is the least costly next step that should be taken. I just… I don’t know if I’m the best fit for it.” 

Seokjin nods. “I respect your decision. After all, Yoongi told me that if you were uncomfortable with it, then it’d be an immediate no go.” 

The corner of your lips turns up upon hearing Yoongi’s thought process. Even though you’ve already heard the words from the man himself—it’s nice to hear that assurance from his boss. Knowing that Yoongi puts your thoughts and feelings on the forefront of his mind is a nice feeling. A misleading feeling if you let yourself think too deeply into it. But a nice feeling, nonetheless. 

You decide not to comment immediately on Seokjin’s apology; rather, you tune into what exactly Yoongi is singing about in the song. It’s got a softer beat to it—an opening song to the album, perhaps? It’s much more whimsy compared to his hard-hitting personal rants that touch on the frustration of miscommunication, of not saying something when he should have said something. 

Instead, this is a song about distance—about missing someone due to distance and the longing of returning home because of the normality it brought. About how even closeness sometimes isn’t enough to fill the gap of desire in his heart. It takes on a beat you’ve never heard before, and a feeling of missing something that isn’t even tangible for you as a listener. Nevertheless, his words, his raspiness, and the hard lines hidden within the otherwise soft tone of the song work hard to poke at your edges and your weak spots. The parts of you that have always been willing to cave for Yoongi, the part of you that has never hesitated to do what needed to be done if it benefited Yoongi. 

You were his manager, so you always want what’s best for him. But you’re also a friend who has been in love with him for years, so you will do whatever it takes to get him there. 

You hope you don’t regret this.

“Actually,” You admit quietly, but it’s loud enough to perk Seokjin’s attention. “I’ll do it.” 

Seokjin blinks, clearly trying to process your words right off the bat. “You’ll…” He trails off.

You look away. You have a feeling that if Seokjin looks at you for too long, he’ll see your emotions spill out across the entire fucking studio. “Do the fake dating idea.” 

Seokjin fumbles a little. “H-Hold on a second—are you sure? Seriously, I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. Since you’re the one least adjusted to being in the spotlight, a lot of this pressure is going to fall onto you. I don’t want you to say yes and then regret it later on… so maybe you should think a little more about this…” 

You steel yourself. It feels a little bit like holding your breath. Finally, you spare Seokjin a look. “I won’t regret it,” You say. “You and I both said that Yoongi needs me to keep going at this pace—I was going to get roped in eventually, so I think it’ll just be easier if I agree now rather than drag this thing around for a couple of months. Besides…” You try to relax a little in your seat, but it’s hard to tell if you’re being convincing or not. “It’s nothing too serious right? You just want us to go out together, hold hands occasionally, speak highly of each other… We already do half of those things but it’ll just be emphasized now. No big deal.” 

Seokjin is wearing that unreadable look in his eyes again, like he knows something that you don’t even know yourself. “You’re right,” He settles with after a long pause. “It’s nothing too serious. You’ll probably have people also digging into your space though, but we’ll make all the necessary arrangements before any sort of announcement.” 

“If that’s the case,” You reply. “Then I’m sure it’ll all be fine. Besides.” You try for a smile. “It’s all just fake anyways, right? As long as the ones who really matter know that, then I don’t really see the harm in it.” 

Seokjin only continues to stare at you, before he relents. You know just as well as he does that your decision is one of an adult, and that if you really had a problem with something you would vote your opinion without hesitation. No matter if he can somehow read the thoughts in your head. 

At last, he nods. “We might need you to sign another NDA but…” He extends an arm out towards you. “Welcome abroad, Min Yoongi’s girlfriend.” 

You laugh a little, hollow but still present, as you reach over to take his head. “We’ll start having problems if that nickname becomes a regular thing.” 

Seokjin laughs a little louder, a complete opposite of his more quiet and observant side displayed just a few seconds ago. “Don’t worry—just for formalities. HEY, Namjoon, let me talk to Yoongi for a second.” He practically throws himself off of the couch and towards the music panel where Namjoon and Yoongi are still mid-discussion about another aspect of music you do not understand. Namjoon relents, pushing himself and his chair off to the side as Seokjin comes up to press the button on the panel that allows for discussion between the booth and the studio. “Hey, Min Yoongi, there’s been some discussions behind the scenes. Say hello to your new girlfriend!” 

There’s a brief silence in the studio, and Yoongi’s eyes immediately bug out of his head like this is the last thing he expected to hear on this very casual Wednesday morning. Knowing the agenda for the day, it probably has been. “What?” Yoongi says after a long moment, his voice amplified by the speakers in the studio. 

Seokjin turns towards you, jerking his head at the booth, and you get up with a sigh. You approach the music panel where Seokjin and Namjoon are currently situated—and aren’t sure how to feel when you see the way Yoongi’s eyes widen at the sight of you through the window. 

Still, you cannot help your own weak smile as you lean in towards the microphone. “Hi honey,” You say. 

Yoongi continues to stare at you, before his lips part and his face takes on a very unusual shade of red. “HUH?” 

. 

. 

CHAPTER  3: THE ANNOUNCEMENT 

. 

KSJ records releases a statement within the next following days, and it gains momentum like nothing you’ve ever seen before. 

HELLO, WE ARE KSJ RECORDS. 

Recently, we acknowledge that many fans have developed a curiosity about the relationship status of our newest artist Min Yoongi. The release of his latest EP and the undertaking of his concert has left many questions regarding who he writes his songs for—and many of the different assumptions made by people around the world could leave very dangerous and lasting impressions on people that our artist sees as platonic. We want to respond properly and say the truth. 

Min Yoongi has been in a relationship with his current manager, Y/N, for the past three years. When Min Yoongi was first signed to KSJ Records, they were already in a relationship and Y/N was assigned the task as Yoongi’s manager given her experience working alongside him during his Youtube career. They have good feelings about each other, and have agreed to make this information public to avoid future misunderstandings. KSJ Records and Yoongi hope that you all will support their relationship as they continue to navigate through Yoongi’s growing career together. 

You cannot help but laugh a little at the statement, which is flying so close to the truth that it might as well have been your reality. And in a way, it is. You’ve already prepared, molded your online presence just barely to meet these new expectations to the new facade you have to put up. 

And it’s not like the announcement actually changes anything in your daily life. In the days leading up to the post, you had decided to delete your Twitter account (you weren’t making much use of that platform anyways—what, with all the thirst accounts for Yoongi that you were stumbling upon due to internet cookies and the algorithm), and archive a fair number of your Instagram photos on an account that was already set to private. For someone who didn’t live and breathe social media, it wasn’t too hard to rid of that element in your life. 

One thing you hadn’t really accounted for, however, were the news stories that wrote about you in the hours following the press release. Several of them were base-level lists about your childhood and how your relationship with Yoongi could have festered—most of which were correct given that older fans of Yoongi knew what university he attended and how you were also a student there. But that information is generally public, and it’s not like you attend the university anymore.

Other than that, there are a few comments on your looks, a few assumptions on your personality. But surprising, there’s nothing too severe. At least, from the surface-level information you can collect from just doing a basic google search. Social media would probably be a more difficult battle, one that you would need nerves of steel and a hardened heart in order to navigate, but like mentioned: professionally managing your own personal social media isn’t exactly your forte. 

Over the next week, you follow Seokjin’s advice to lay low and let the news of your relationship with Yoongi continue to spread through the ranks. You spend that time in your apartment, answering a few messages from friends and family but doing what you could to keep the information as limited as possible. You assume that too many people knowing, regardless of how close or trustworthy they were, sort of went against the NDA you had to sign. And you’re not sure how your friends would react if they found out you were only dating Yoongi for a cover-up. Especially since some of them actually are fully aware of your feelings for him. 

Regardless, you carry on. Yoongi sends you some screenshots he takes of supportive messages from his fans wishing the both of you the best in your relationship, and he also sends you some memes about your relationship that make you laugh. His fans have a good sense of humor, what could you say. 

However, a week is the most you allow yourself to hide away within the comfort (and boring nature) of your apartment before you’re already texting Seokjin with news that you were showing up to the studio. 

Surprisingly, Seokjin doesn’t question this. He calls you. “I was just about to ask if you were going to come over anyways!” He says in a rather upbeat nature. “So it’s good to hear that we’re both on the same page.” 

So you step out of your apartment, dressed up in your usual work uniform and feeling much more put-together than you had been for the week you were ordered to remain quiet and lowkey. There’s something exciting about stepping out after being unable to do so for an extended period of time—and it shows in the little bounce that occurs with every step that you take down the sidewalk. Since you usually take the subway to work, you decide to dawn a bucket hat with a face mask tucked over your nose and mouth to blend in just enough but not so much so that your strange fashion choices could draw attention. 

It doesn’t, and you enjoy the rocking of the subway racing down the tracks as you peer out of the window quietly. KSJ Records is just a few stops away from your apartment, so you waste no time standing out and stepping out as soon as the doors of the subway open at the right stop. You bound up the stairs, through the familiar pathways you’ve always taken to get to work, and after a few blocks, you arrive at the building of KSJ Records. 

As you shoulder open the door, you greet the secretary behind the table, who smiles back at you. “Oh, good morning!” She greets cheerfully. “Seokjin is waiting for you in his office. I believe Yoongi is already with him.” 

You nod. “Sounds good, thank you so much!” You bound deeper in, navigating through the different hallways until you arrive at Seokjin’s office. True to the word from the front desk, Yoongi is already there. He looks surprisingly meek for someone who has been trending on Twitter for a few days, but you suppose that he’s still trying to adjust to the fact that Seokjin’s plan is already in motion. After all, he didn’t even get the final say before Seokjin started taking the situation into his own hands. The last he had heard of it was your apparent agreement before Seokjin drew up a company statement for him to approve. 

A part of you feels guilty—but Yoongi had been the one to ask you first! Perhaps he’s still in that normal state of uncertainty. After all, you feel like that as well. 

“Good morning guys,” You greet as soon as you register who exactly is in Seokjin’s office. You close the door behind you as both boys turn to acknowledge you. 

Seokjin grins. “Hi, thanks for coming in.” 

You wave him off. “You gave me the week off. I was starting to get a little restless.” You take a seat in the other vacant chair, in front of Seokjin and besides Yoongi. “What’s up, Yoongi?” 

Yoongi is already looking at you when you turn to greet him, but as soon as you ask your question, the corner of his lips quirk up into a vaguely uneasy and nervous smile. “H-Hi honey.” 

You freeze at that, immediately furrowing your eyebrows as you produce your own nervous smile. “Hi?” You return. “What the fuck are you on?” 

Seokjin interrupts before Yoongi can get an answer in. “Stop, stop, you’re way too stiff, Yoongi!” 

“Well, I’m trying!” Yoongi spits, before looking back at you with an utterance of your name. “Sorry, Seokjin wanted me to try treating you the same way I would treat a girlfriend. Apparently I didn’t do too hot.” 

“Not apparently, you just didn’t do hot at all,” Seokjin retorts back, flashing you an apologetic smile. “We were trying out a few moves easier to see how well you guys can adjust from having your normal manager slash artist relationship to displaying a long term, healthy and happy romantic relationship. It’s one thing to say that you guys are dating, but you guys do need to have something of an act ready.” 

You fold your fingers over each other, your mind on a dissociation for the briefest of seconds as the realization sinks its teeth just a little deeper. Holding hands and saying cute shit to each other had been easy to talk about in passing dialogue to Seokjin—but actually having to do it is a hurdle you hadn’t considered to the fullest. 

“I mean…” You speak up after a moment. “What if we’re just one of those couples that aren’t handsey with each other? Or don’t need that lovey dovey look in each other’s eyes to prove that we’re in a relationship?” 

Seokjin ponders this for a second. “True. But if we’re starting this, there needs to be a full level commitment on the act. If people start questioning the legitimacy of your relationship, that would be an even worse scandal than just letting people make assumptions about Yoongi’s relationship status in general! We definitely, at least, need to develop a basic level of your relationship, and then you guys can work around your own varying levels of comfort. This is something that we need to get rolling as soon as possible, because you.” He points at Yoongi. “Are booked in the next few days to do some radio interviews. And you.” He points at you. “Are going to go with him, as his girlfriend.” 

Even though you had known the label was coming, you can’t stop from feeling hot all over at how you were now technically Yoongi’s girlfriend. 

“So,” Seokjin continues. “How about I give you a base level of what I’m looking for. And we can do a few practice runs to make sure you guys are comfortable enough with these expectations?” 

Yoongi nods, leaving you little option but to do the same. But the thought from the recording booth bubbles up again: you hope you won’t regret this. 

. 

A few days later and you don’t think you’ll regret the outcome of this situation. But you’ll definitely get a little sick on the way. 

“I don’t know if I can do this,” You say in the car. You’re sitting in the back, next to Yoongi, staring straight ahead at the passenger seat before you. “And stay all in one piece,” You add as an afterthought. 

Yoongi glances over at you, looking nervous enough to admit a pout. “At least you don’t have to say anything—I’m the one doing all the talking…” 

You huff out a breath. This is true. You’re just here to play the supportive girlfriend, the agreeable partner who’ll publicly accompany Yoongi to a public event since a public announcement. Seokjin says that doing this with the lense of a romantic relationship makes you seem friendly, open, and supportive of the relationship. You’re not too sure how public perception is shaped, but you understand where Seokjin is coming from. Tagging along to an event as a girlfriend instead of a manager makes you and Yoongi seem free. Like you have nothing to hide. 

Only in reality, it’s the complete opposite. With everything coming out to the surface, you have everything to hide. 

It only takes a few more minutes of driving before you arrive at the radio station. The instructions for today’s assignment have been easy: get out of the car, and walk the many steps needed to reach the entrance of the station. The empty step ahead is surrounded by paparazzi and fans, all screaming and shouting—trying to get their fill of Yoongi. 

You sigh. You could do this. You and Yoongi have been practicing for the past few days. Albeit, ‘practicing’ just mainly consisted of the pair of you walking down a hallway close together. It was more lackluster than anything else, and you don’t think it was entirely productive use of time. Seokjin seemed to think that the pair of you needed to work on a closer level of proximity. But you know the truth about your feelings, and know that the complications will come from just being too close to him. 

Yoongi unbuckles his seatbelt and is already moving to tug at the handle that’ll open his side of the car door, immediately exposing him to the walkway along with the flashing cameras and loud screams. Before he can pull all the way, however, he stops short. You’re about to ask what the problem is, before he angles towards you and flashes you that grin he has when he’s thinking of ideas you wouldn’t approve of. “I have an idea,” He breathes out, quickly reaching over to grab your hand. 

You stiffen at the contact, trying to ignore the flash of your heart speeding up in your chest. You and Yoongi hadn’t agreed on this—if you had, maybe you would have been a little more prepared for the situation! Oh god. 

On instinct, you try to wiggle out of his grasp. “What are you doing?” You hiss. 

Yoongi gives you a dry look, reaching over to grab your hand again. “Calm down,” He argues back, lacing your fingers together for extra measure, like that’s gonna be the thing to help you calm the fuck down. “This’ll help sell it, okay? Just trust me.” 

Leaving little room for arguments, he squeezes your hand briefly before loosening it enough. He pulls the car door handle, pushing it outwards, and stepping out into the wild. People notice his appearance immediately, because the screams grow louder as Yoongi uses his unoccupied hand to wave and bow towards those who have come out to see him. 

You trail behind rather helplessly; the hand connected to Yoongi pulling you out of the car. Yoongi stays near the door, staring down at you with a rather watchful gaze that only leaves you feeling hotter than before. Still, you don’t speak of it as Yoongi steps back just enough for you to step out of the car. “You okay?” He asks. 

You nod, readjusting yourself with one hand before Yoongi starts to pull you alongside him to walk the distance towards the radio station entrance. Although you want to engage slightly with the crowd, your nerves keep you mainly at bay, forcing you to angle your head downwards just enough to avoid any serious eye contact. Yoongi keeps his gaze ahead, walking a rather brisk pace towards the radio studio—where security leads the way in opening the door for the pair of you. Whether he’s walking fast because he doesn’t want to keep up the charade of holding your hand for so long… or because he can feel how sweaty your palm is getting. You don’t know. 

It’s only a few more steps before you and Yoongi are entering the building for the radio show, where Jungkook is lingering near the entrance. He’s on his phone, probably having just made a call with Seokjin about your arrival, before he spots the two of you entering. “Hey guys, how was it?” 

Yoongi nods. “A little loud, but I think it went alright.” 

Jungkook’s eyes flicker down to your intertwined hands. “Wow, you guys are committed,” He comments. 

You seem to remember that your soul has returned to the body that is still currently holding hands with Min Yoongi. Alarmingly, you take your hand back. “Y-Yeah, Yoongi thought it would be a good show for the people outside! No biggie—just a simple hand holding technique, people do that all the time!” You realize that you’re rambling. 

Yoongi, oblivious as always, raises an eyebrow. “You okay?” 

“Y-Yeah,” You manage. “Why do you ask?” 

Yoongi is about to answer, before an intern shyly approaches the three of you with an iPad in hand. 

“Are you all under Mr. Min’s team?” She asks, fishing out some badges when you nod in confirmation. “Okay, so make sure to take these so everyone knows who you are. Mr. Min? I can lead you to the studio you’ll be interviewing in, if you’ll follow me—did you need me to grab a soda for you?” She begins listing a series of questions about his well-being, leaving you and Jungkook behind in the hallway with your newly acquired badges in hand.

Jungkook, observant as always, gives you a look. “What was that all about?” 

“Huh? I-It was nothing…” You trail off looping the badge around your neck, meeting Jungkook’s eyes and realizing that he’s wearing a shit-eating grin. The same kind of grin that Taehyung gives you when you’re standing too close to Yoongi. Your eyes flare. “WHAT DO YOU KNOW?”  

Jungkook laughs. “Calm down, calm down, Taehyung and I gossip a lot on the side—hey, what the fuck, don’t hit me—we’re in a public place!” 

You relent your aggression, but only slightly. You lower your arms as well. “Just—don’t tell Yoongi.” 

Jungkook levels with you a dry look. “Do you think I have a death wish? C’mon, let’s head over.” 

With a hesitant sigh, you relent and let Jungkook lead you down the halls of this studio, until the pair of you find a door with Yoongi’s name written on the white board. There’s a darkened LIVE light panel above the frame, indicating that Yoongi’s radio interview hasn’t started yet. There’s some people lingering about, who nod and open the door for you when you present your TALENT badge at them. The inside of a radio booth is similar to the recording booths Yoongi has found a home in as of late. There’s people in this current room, headphones on and monitoring what’s happening before them while being surrounded with sound panels and laptop screens. On the other side of the glass is Yoongi, and the main hosts of the radio station, Jung Hoseok and Im Nayeon. 

From your side, you can hear their conversation amplified through speakers in the studio. They’re all currently joking around about external matters—it makes sense too. Yoongi has been on this particular radio show a handful of times. 

“Okay, okay, you guys,” Hoseok speaks after a few more minutes of playful banter. “Today, we have a very special guest with us today. He’s fresh off the tour of his first and most recent EP, we have Min Yoongi in the studio! Yay!” He claps. Nayeon follows suit. 

Yoongi stops his clapping sooner to speak into the microphone in front of him. “Thanks for having me back.” 

“Thank you for deciding to hang out with us for the afternoon,” Nayeon says. “Especially since you’re a big hot shot now.” 

Yoongi laughs. “I wouldn’t say that… I just finished my first tour, Nayeon, no big deal.” 

“‘No big deal’,” Nayeon quotes him. “As if your EP didn’t chart into a top 50 list or anything like that.” 

The conversation trails like this for a little bit. Yoongi is scheduled to spend thirty minutes doing a segment, which is meant to be uploaded onto Youtube later, so it gives the three of them a lot of legroom to play around and play off of each other. The purpose of the interview is to discuss the tour, the progress of the album, and (if anyone dared venture there) the status of his relationship—! 

“Well, moving on from the album—which I’m sure is going to be a huge success, by the way,” Nayeon continues on, bringing you back from the daydream that you’ve slipped into. “Seriously, it’s a very highly anticipated release.” 

Yoongi manages a nervous smile. “I’ll make sure not to let anyone down.” 

Nayeon nods. “I think it’s a good time to ask about a recent development that has occurred with you as of late.” 

“And, that is the announcement of your relationship,” Nayeon carries on. She glances at Yoongi from across the table. “We’re allowed to ask you questions about it, right?” 

Yoongi nods, choosing his words very carefully. “I’m all ears for your questions, Nayeon.” 

Nayeon brightens at that. “I just think that a lot of people want to know: how are you guys doing since the announcement?” 

He takes in a breath. To the general public, it’ll probably look as if he’s steeling himself to finally come clean about a relationship he’s been hiding for three years. But to you, you know it’s because he’s just trying to figure out what exactly to say. 

“We’ve been doing well,” He says with a nod of assurance. “It was a little stressful at first, and it still is because of how recent the news is, but I am glad we decided to make this call. Y/N has been with me since the beginning and has supported me and has been the inspiration for a lot of my music—and I’m at a point in my life where I want my fans to know that rather than drag them along and just make them assume these parts of my life.” 

“That’s so sweet,” Nayeon gushes. “So Y/N wasn’t always just your manager, even back in your Youtube days?” 

Yoongi shakes his head. “Actually, she was my girlfriend before I decided to upload song covers.” 

Nayeon swoons a little. “Can you tell us the story of how we met? You can be brief, of course.” 

Yoongi laughs. “We shared a class together in college, and she was probably the funniest person I had ever met—of course, we were friends for about a year before we started dating. But Y/N was always very supportive about me pursuing music, even when it was just a hobby. When I did start my Youtube channel, she stayed up to help with editing and just letting me know how some lyrics I had written would sound. She was a business major in college, so it felt right to let her have the reins on scheduling my appearances—and now she’s my manager. Besides just being my girlfriend, we work together really well.” 

You huff out a breath, something you hadn’t even realized that you were holding. You didn’t think Yoongi lying straight through his teeth could cause you so much anxiety. As if there are people around this radio station to fact check everything leaving Yoongi’s mouth. 

Nayeon hesitates for a moment. “Alright, I want to ask one more question.” 

Yoongi gestures for her to continue. 

“You write a lot about being in love and all these little moments of stability and that feeling of contentment—but what is your experience with love? How did you know that you were in love?” 

Your lips part in shock at the question, having not expected it. After all, Seokjin didn’t quiz Yoongi on this answer. And to talk about love in such a personal manner—would Yoongi even have an answer for everyone? 

Your gaze is trained on Yoongi, watching them through the glass separating you from him. It seems as if the entire room is silenced in anticipation. You can feel Jungkook’s gaze hot on your back, clearly trying to gauge your response—but you try not to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. 

“It’s actually funny,” Yoongi speaks up after a moment. Your heart lurches, thinking that he’s going to divert from the question. But you should know him better. “I always thought love, when it came to romance, was supposed to be this big explosion of fireworks and what not—like in the movies. You see someone and there’s this feeling in your gut right away, you know, this whole concept of love at first sight. I used to think that was how I was going to fall in love. It was going to be dramatic, but everything I wanted right away, and I was going to be whisked off and everything would be sunshine and rainbows. I thought that I’d meet someone, and they’d be everything I wanted them to be right off the bat, and that I’d know right away they’d be the one. 

But the truth is, through my relationship, I realized that it’s not like that. I didn’t know Y/N would be the one right away. It took a long time—because we liked each other, but that’s not the big explosion of fireworks I was promised. We liked each other, but it was never love at first sight. And truthfully, she wasn’t even everything I wanted right off the bat. I’ve realized that love is more about these adjustments you as people have to make to fit, and it happened so subtly with me that then I didn’t realize it was happening until I just woke up one day and knew. 

I knew because one morning, I woke up in a fit—I had fallen asleep at my desk again trying to get through some of the music arrangement of this one video I was working on, or something like that. I was always working on music and editing—so I actually don’t remember. Anyways, I woke up and my head was resting on a pillow, and there was a blanket over my shoulder, which I didn’t remember fixing up the night before. I got out of the little makeshift studio I had in my apartment, and there was breakfast food from this cafe I really like around the corner at my table. It was a little cold, but Y/N had taped a little note on the bag with heating instructions and what not, just telling me to do my best—really nice and supportive things. I had assumed that she had gone back home, because she knew I was pulling another all-nighter for work. That’s what I thought, until I look into the living room and find her sleeping on my couch. More than that, her hands were still on her laptop, where she had been in the process of still editing one of my videos. She still had her headphones on and everything. We had been dating for a little less than a year at that point, so it wasn’t like this was a rare thing. It was a pretty normal thing for her to do—wrap me up in blankets and buy me breakfast food the following morning, even falling asleep on the couch was a weekly occurrence. But I just saw her sleeping on my couch and I felt this wave of warmth and contentment. Like I always knew that she’d be on my team. I think that was the moment I really knew what love was.” 

It’s a long story, one that ends with a stunned silence—like no one had expected him to give out such a detailed answer and make it sound poetic at the same time. That’s the songwriter Min Yoongi for you, you supposed. 

Quickly, both the studio and the booth give out a chorus of aw’s and ooh’s, gushing amongst one another over the charming nature of Yoongi’s story. But you are still trapped into submission, staring straight through the glass with millions of questions still going through your mind. The spike in your heart rate also points to the rush of adrenaline flowing through you. Because you know this story that he is telling. He’s not lying through his teeth. You remember this night. Or, one of the nights, at least. Like Yoongi had said, you giving out blankets and food like air was second nature in your friendship. So was you falling asleep on the couch. 

Did those situations hold as much weight for him as they did for you? Or, was he just making up his feelings? After all, the key to lying was skirting as close to the truth as possible. That kind of situation may work for Yoongi, as the liar, but it wasn’t as comforting for you. 

You watch the way Yoongi laughs at the gushing Nayeon does, the way he smiles brightly and continues to reinforce how important you are—and you recognize his facade better than anyone else. Of course he’s lying, and you reach their realization with a bit of downfall in your stomach. There’s no way he would be telling the truth, especially considering the situation the pair of you are now in where Yoongi’s career is dependent on his ability to tell a proper lie. 

You allow yourself to sink a little deeper into the studio, near the back where the producers of the radio station can discuss amongst each other. This puts you with Jungkook, who has been watching the situation closely the entire time. 

“Yoongi can be quite the actor,” Jungkook mumbles. He has this unreadable expression in his eyes, but you know that Jungkook knows that situation Yoongi is describing. It had been Jungkook’s apartment as well. He glances at you, but says nothing. 

You continue to stare ahead. That pensive silence continues as Yoongi is released from the radio interview, and thanks Nayeon and Hoseok eagerly for their time and energy. Nayeon returns the gesture, waving to you through the glass when Yoongi points you out. You weakly return the action. 

It isn’t until you get into the car, where the pair of you are safe from the wandering eyes and careful ears of the entire world, that one of you elects to speak up. “So, what did you think?” Yoongi asks. 

By this point, you’ve recovered swiftly from your disappointment. You smile like it’s your only shield. “As your manager, I’m glad that you were able to make love so poetic—just on brand for you. As your fake girlfriend, I also really have to congratulate you for your storytelling. I even remember those nights too, so it was definitely a good memory to lie about.” 

Yoongi flushes a little at your comment, looking pleased with himself for a moment. You smile at his expression, before turning to train your gaze out of the window. The gesture makes you miss the way the smile slips off his face, the way he glances over at you. A good memory to lie about—right. 

.

Yoongi’s radio interview goes viral, and so does any hope you have in trying to forget the tale he had spun during it. Granted, you are happy that people bought his story. You just wish that it wouldn’t have muddled up all your thoughts and feelings along the way. 

Naturally, Seokjin is excited about the good press and the fact that the pair of you completed your first assignment well enough. At least, that’s the display he’s presenting when you walk into his office two days after the radio interview. Yesterday was spent looking over social media to see the public’s reaction to Yoongi’s speech about love, and if you as his manager would need to do any damage control. Luckily, you do not. As his manager, it leaves you in good spirits. 

But as someone who actually has a crush on Yoongi, it’s less so. 

That dejection only furthers itself when you see how excited Seokjin looks, like he’s already plotting the next steps to his little project. 

“Ah, Y/N!” Seokjin greets carefully. “Hi, hi, congratulations on your first successful outing with Yoongi! Per the reports I’ve been seeing over social media, you guys did a very good job.” 

You sigh, placing four coffee orders onto the table and sliding into the seat in front of Seokjin’s desk. “I didn’t really do that much,” You admit with a half-hearted shrug. “Yoongi did all the talking. I just waved at Nayeon through the glass window.” 

“Aaahh,” Seokjin hums, opening up his laptop and turning it around in order for you to see what is on his screen. “Seems like you did a little more than that.” 

Your gaze flints down to the big, bold words across the screen: THE INSIDER REPORT ON MIN YOONGI’S RADIO INTERVIEW: Employees at the K-IM Radio Station detail their experience meeting Yoongi and his girlfriend following the announcement of their relationship. 

That piques your interest, and you scoot forward in your chair slightly in order to reach out and see what Seokjin is talking about. It’s not a very lengthy article—there is a summary detailing Yoongi’s interview, of course referencing his grand speech about love—but that’s not what takes up the most space. 

Your eyes continue to skim over, almost not even believing what you were reading. The intern that first greeted you and Yoongi is in here, talking about how the pair of you were holding hands “in such a loving way, and the way they looked at each other before I led him to the radio booth was so romantic!” (The intern’s words, not yours). There’s even some excerpts from the employees and producers inside the radio booth, the same room you had spent the interview in. Surprisingly, a lot of the accounts are not talking about what Yoongi said. It’s all about how you looked when Yoongi was telling his story. 

“It was such a powerful speech, I couldn’t help but look over to Y/N to see her reaction, and she was staring back at Yoongi in such a way that I knew immediately that the genuine nature of their love was a two-way street.” 

“... a definite softness in her gaze, like she was reliving that memory with him.” 

And so on, and so on. 

Your face feels a little warmer when your eyes as you push the laptop away, glancing up to see Seokjin’s staring at you. “See? You did good. The small gestures you do can go a long way—especially when you don’t notice you’re doing them.” 

You close the laptop, as if that can physically distance yourself from the assurances of those who had been around you. “Right…” You manage weakly. 

“Well,” Seokjin hums, already moving onto the next point of the conversation. If he senses something fishy in your response, he doesn’t comment on it. “Anyways, Yoongi is in the studio right now with Namjoon, so I just want a little update report on your relationship with Yoongi. As in, how is it going between the two of you?” 

You ponder this for a moment, thinking about how he took your hand in the car, how he recounted such a personal story to explain the details of his love, the look he gave you when you congratulated his storytelling abilities—like he knew something that you did not. 

At the same time, it was such a minor appearance that you didn’t get much of a feel about the romantic aspect of this fake relationship. This is why you sigh. “I’m not too sure. We had such a minor acting role together that it’s hard to say. I will say that right now it feels pretty much the same.” 

“Alright, fair enough,” Seokjin approves with a nod. “So you don’t have a problem if I want to plan some informal hang-outs for you and Yoongi? Just as a way to keep your guys in the public eye enough times that fans don’t start doubting your relationship.” 

You smile weakly. “Of course. That’s what I signed the NDA for.” 

Seokjin laughs, finally waving you off. “Okay, sure. I’ll look into where I think your relationship will make the biggest impact and will update you and Yoongi when I’ve made my decisions.” Finally, he looks over the multiple cups of coffee you had brought over on your cardboard tray, and fishes out the one with his name on it. “This one for me?” 

You lean over, flickering your gaze from the cup to his face. “Well, at the very least, I know you can read now.” 

His relaxed expression morphs into a playful scowl. “Get out of here brat.” 

Your laughter echoes through his office as you take your cardboard tray of three coffee cups and reemerge back into the hallway of the record studio. You walk the familiar path until you reach the door to the recording room—pulling open the door and letting yourself in. Inside the booth, Yoongi is rapping away into his microphone, as his low voice fills the tiny space of this studio. You place the tray down onto one of the tables, picking up your own before sliding over to take a seat on the couch. 

As you continue listening to Yoongi wistfully hum about a desire to cross an emotional distance, about how he tells the truth because “it’s you, it’s always been you”—you cannot help your mind wandering into what Seokjin has in store for you over the course of the next few months. 

.

. 

CHAPTER 4: TURNING POINT 

. 

Yoongi’s first full length album is set to release in two months. 

At least, that’s what KSJ records claims after uploading a quarterly report of Yoongi’s schedule. At first, you don’t think it’s a big deal for Yoongi’s label to post a tentative update about his music progress, but his fans are extremely observant and catch on immediately. It’s good to draw up the hype, you suppose. 

Anyways, at the rate that Yoongi is working on the songs for the album, you won’t be surprised if he manages to follow the schedule down to a T. The boy lives and breathes music, and last time you checked the album would consist partly of songs from his EP and new songs—meaning that it cuts down Yoongi’s usual workload into half. Not that he minds, at any rate. 

“Okay, Min Yoongi,” Seokjin starts up, standing at the head of the meeting room which only consists of three people. Normally, with meetings with the head of KSJ records himself, there’s a lot more people around to discuss schedule, promotions, and the likes. The fact that it’s just you and Yoongi tells you exactly what you’re doing here. “It’s been a few weeks since your radio interview, and I know that you’re doing well in your progress of the album—but I think it’ll do you well to take a break.” 

Yoongi huffs. “It’s nice that you’re reminding me about this, but I’ll rest when the album is released.” 

Seokjin snorts. “When did I say rest? I just meant take a break from your album work. Plus you need to get some vitamin C, or whatever shit you get from the sun.”  

“It’s vitamin D,” You interject gently. 

“Pish posh,” Seokjin waves away your interruption. “Anyways, like I was saying, there is a way for us to kill two birds with one stone. So that you.” He points to Yoongi. “Can get out of the studio for a few hours and you.” He points to you. “Can play into a relationship that’ll help us kill two birds with one stone.” 

You raise an eyebrow. “What exactly are you proposing?” 

“Well,” Seokjin continues, leaning over his side of the table to get a few good at his laptop, where it appears that he has a few notes written down regarding the direction of this meeting. “In order to continue generating curiosity about Yoongi’s upcoming album and maintain the public’s constant queries about your relationship, I want you two to go on public outings. I have a few specific places I think would be good cornerstones to touch on, but I’m also willing to let the two of you figure out where you want to spend your time.” He glances up at the two of you. “That should be okay, right?” 

You and Yoongi glance at each other. Come to think of it, the pair of you haven’t talked about nor reviewed the events at the radio station since it happened and the underlying questions you still have about his side of the story feels vaguely like a weight hanging over you both. But Yoongi smiles at you, and you think that you can continue to do what you’ve done for years: hide away your feelings. 

“Yeah, that should be fine,” You speak up first, smiling back at Yoongi. You turn to Seokjin. “What did you have in mind?” 

The question is how you find yourself in a car with Yoongi a few days later, your hands in your lap and your mind spinning with nerves. The radio interview had been one case, but a limited one at that—your role had been very minor and your interaction with Yoongi had only been seconds long. They had definitely been a lot smaller than this new role that Seokjin has assigned to you. 

For today, Seokjin has directed the pair of you to the streets of Yoongi’s old stomping ground—the same shopping district with the same corner Yoongi spent all his nights performing in from a time period that seems so long enough. Not long enough, apparently, as Seokjin thinks it would be a nice nod to be ‘accidentally’ discovered walking along a place that holds so much memory. 

“I just want you guys to walk around—be happy, but be close,” Seokjin had noted just a few hours prior to you and Yoongi’s departure. “Just look like the pair of you are on a date. Hold hands, smile at each other, all that jazz. Nothing too serious.” 

Too bad it actually was kind of serious for you. 

You and Yoongi make minor conversation, making some jokes here and there that do well in helping to ease your nerves. You don’t think Yoongi would take notice, but he can be strangely observant. Perhaps the way you keep bouncing one of your legs helps let him know that something is up. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

You stop bouncing your leg. “It kind of feels like I’m about to perform, or something—it’s that same kind of rush.” 

Yoongi stares at you for a moment, before he looks out his side of the window. “Well, technically speaking, you are about to perform. You know, with this whole relationship being an act and all.” 

“Very true,” You say, nodding your head. “Do we need a game plan?” 

Yoongi shrugs. “I thought that we’d just wing it. We held hands back at the radio station so, uh, I’m assuming that you’re still comfortable with doing that?” 

“O-Oh yeah, of course!” 

“Then, we can do that. And walk around. Improvise while we do so—just see how the day goes.” 

You nod. “Okay, true, true. That sounds good.” You can’t help but give him a sneaky smile. “Look at you, Min Yoongi, you’ve become quite the performer. Improvisation used to be something you were never too good at.” 

Yoongi flushes a little, smiling back at you. “Give me a little credit. You gotta have backups for your backups, especially in situations when your sound gives up on you in the middle of one of your sets.” 

You laugh, because this reminds you about one of Yoongi’s first live sets along the very street the pair of you will be approaching shortly. His speakers had just given up, forcing Yoongi to go entirely acapella. In a way, that mistake ended up garnering him more fans who grew to respect his craft and talent for music and singing. But as they say, hindsight is 20 20. 

You and Yoongi continue to laugh about that memory for a few minutes before Taehyung arrives along the outskirts of the shopping district, pulling up along the curb. The car is on the other side of this bustling area, just a few feet away from the pedestrian walkway that is littering with people going to and fro. 

Taehyung turns around in his seat to give the pair of you a look. “Now kids, I want you to call me whenever you’re ready to get picked up.” He’s grinning around the words though 

You glare at him. “Sure thing dad,” You bite back, already opening the car door to take your leave. Your feet land onto the concrete of the sidewalk as you pull yourself into a standing position. Yoongi joins you shortly after, standing close to you. “Bye,” You say, slamming the door into Taehyung’s face before he can get in one last snarky reply. 

Yoongi looks like he’s trying hard not to laugh for Taehyung’s benefit. But it’s an act he can only hold together for so long, because he does start to laugh as soon as Taehyung and the company car turn the corner and disappear out of sight.

After a second, Yoongi turns to you and gestures towards the pedestrian walkway just a few feet ahead. “Shall we?” 

You nod, taking the hand that he extends out to you. Just an act, you tell yourself, you allow him to lace your fingers together. Nevermind the fact that the weight on your hand feels entirely too reassuring and comforting for the current context. 

Ignoring that feeling, you squeeze his hand and let him lead you towards the walkway, where you cross the street with no problem. Since Yoongi nor Seokjin had announced Yoongi’s presence at this plaza for the day, you can only hope that too much attention won’t be drawn to you. 

It’s a thought that you are able to entertain for a few minutes. Yoongi may not have the star quality status of mainstream celebrities (yet), but he’s still someone who has been on the radio, has done a country-wide tour, and has a youtube following of a couple million people (four now, the last time you checked—subscriber counts tend to zip by after a person hits a million). That small list of accomplishments is more than enough to drag in a few wandering eyes. Okay, maybe a little more than a few. 

You think that you’ve kind of developed a seventh sense to knowing when Yoongi was being recognized. It’s shown in the double-glances some people start shooting at him, at quick whispers behind closed hands, and craning necks over shoulders. 

You’re okay with people knowing about Yoongi’s current location, but the memory of his tours and even the crowd problem that came up during his street performances flashback in your mind. You don’t think you want to deal with that situation right now—secretly preferring if people just observed from a distance. 

Without thinking twice, you tighten your hold on Yoongi’s hand long enough to lead him into one of the stores along the sidewalk—an accessories booth with fake glasses, rings, earrings, the likes. 

Yoongi watches you, a touch of amusement in his eyes like he knows what you’re thinking. Still, he asks. “What are you doing?” 

You rummage through the wide selection of glasses, fully aware that one or two people have spotted the pair of you and are lingering near the entrance to catch a glance at what you two are doing. From the looks of it, no one is going to stir up a commotion. You still want to make sure. 

“You stand out,” You explain vaguely, finding a pair of circle glasses in black-rims from the pile before turning around and more or less smashing the glasses against his face. It’s difficult to try and put glasses on another person, you miss his ears a few times and almost get him in the eye, but Yoongi strangely enough lets you manhandle him. 

In the midst of your last few attempts you step forward and scoot even closer to him to try and get the glasses more properly situated on his face. Due to the proximity, Yoongi’s hands fly up from his side to avoid being pressed uncomfortably against his chest, choosing to rest at your waist. At first, you don’t feel the weight of his hands, you’re too focused on making sure the fake glasses you’ve selected can fit in place. 

As soon as you’ve properly aligned the glasses to his face, you lower your hands from his face. The action makes you suddenly hyper aware of the current position you’ve put yourself in. It’s not very often that you get handsy with Yoongi, it’s a side of you that comes out when the pair of you are in a hurry, but hardly during candid moments like this. 

Immediately, Yoongi’s hands feel like warm flames tickling your skin, and you suddenly feel hyper aware of his position, of his closeness. Your eyes flicker up, seeing his face with those glasses you’ve just shoved onto him sitting nicely at the bridge of his nose, highlighting the intensity of his gaze. The stare he’s giving you only heightens the gravitational pull you feel towards him. 

You don’t know how long the pair of you are just standing in the middle of the store, staring at each other, until you feel the weight of a third party approaching the pair of you. 

You practically shove yourself away from Yoongi, trying to make it seem as if you’re just stepping back to get an overall look at his face (Yoongi featuring glasses). Yoongi lets you go. 

The third party is an employee of the accessories booth, smiling widely. “Sorry to interrupt,” She says, looking over at Yoongi. “Sir, I just want to say that those glasses look great on you. And just to let you know we’re having a sale on that collection so it’s a buy one get the other one half off so maybe you two can match if you’re up to it…” 

You tune her out after a second, realizing that you can’t really keep up with what she’s saying considering the current firestorm that’s going on inside your head. Why couldn’t you have just asked Yoongi to put the glasses on himself? You curse yourself for letting your guard down—sometimes you try to do things of your own accord, and today you were paying the price.

When you don’t speak after a few seconds, Yoongi smiles at the employee. “Got it, thanks a lot.” He waits until the employee returns back to rearranging some earrings on a nearby shelf before turning back to you. “How does it look?” 

He does look good, but you play it down by tilting your head and settling with a shrug. “Well, you’ve looked better—but this’ll have to do.” 

Yoongi laughs, before he does something that catches you off guard. He steps closer to you. “So you think there are times when I do look good?” 

You try not to look too bewildered at his gesture. You can tell that he does feel a little nervous about the fact he’s testing the waters so boldly without any practice, but it’s all part of the act. Just as Seokjin said: be happy, be close. 

So you place a hand on his chest, pushing him slightly with your own little teasing smile. “I said better—that doesn’t always mean you were ever good to begin with.” 

Yoongi makes a noise of protest, and without warning just swings his arm around your shoulder and pulls you close to his side. “You’re breaking my heart everyday!” 

“You must like the abuse, you’re still with me,” You bite back playfully without thought. For a split second, it doesn’t feel like you’re in a store with people who vaguely recognize Yoongi’s appearance—for a split second, it feels like just you and him, and everything you’ve ever wanted. 

Upon Yoongi’s lips hover over the shell of your ear. “Good job, I think the group of girls outside caught our picture.” 

That dreamy fantasy where it was just you and Yoongi and nothing else mattered came crashing down, squaring you right back into reality. It’s not a disappointing feeling per say—just a vague extra hammering of your heartbeat, a vague guilt that you let your mind let its guard down like that. “Right,” You say. “Uh…” You try to think, which proves to be a difficult thing to do with Yoongi’s weight pressed up against you and everything. You clap your hands together. “Okay, let’s grab a hat and then we’ll be on our way.” 

You make sure to be a little less handsy when it comes to hat selections, but you knew there was only so far you could escape given the current context of the situation. Yoongi seems to know that, because he stays close to you as you’re both shifting through hats, and even when he pays for his hat and glasses combination before exiting the booth. The pair of you pass through the two girls that were lingering outside of the booth, where Yoongi gives them the smallest wave and hello before carrying on with the rest of the trip. 

With the hat and glasses combination, it definitely draws less attention to Yoongi’s classic fluffy black hair and gummy smile—especially if you’re using what was going on in the beginning of your trip as a baseline. This means that you and Yoongi can carry on with the rest of your outing with feeling the obvious heavy weight of gazes on your shoulder. 

With intertwined hands the pair of you first stop by one of the local cafes and sit right alongside the window to enjoy some pasta and soda combinations. You roll up the noodles onto your fork and clink utensils with Yoongi before slipping the noodles in your mouth—tomato sauce with flavor slipped into every side piece of noodle. It’s amazing, and you cannot help but gush so as you smile brightly around your fork. 

You’re too busy stirring your fork around yet another string of pasta that you fail to see the softening look of the boy across the table from you. It’s a look that disappears by the time your gaze glints back up to resume the conversation. The pasta is considered a snack above all else, so it doesn’t take long for the pair of you to finish up your meal. Leaving a tip behind on the table, Yoongi walks over to you just as you’re straightening up from your chair. Silently, he offers his hand to you. 

Knowing the routine by now, you take his hand, silently lacing your fingers together and letting him lead the way out of the cafe and back onto the sidewalk. The later afternoon shows itself in the steady increase of people, which is good because it makes you feel as if you can blend into the crowd either. There are still the occasional phones out, trailing after you and Yoongi as you walk along the sidewalk, but nothing that ever makes you feel as if you need to call Taehyung. 

“Actually, this isn’t as bad as I thought it’d be,” You grumble to Yoongi quietly, a comment that he laughs at. 

“I’m not that famous,” Yoongi jokingly teases you. “And my fans are just being respectful—give them a little credit.” His voice dies down shortly after, however, but it only takes you a few seconds to realize why. 

The pair of you, in the midst of your simple ‘walk along the sidewalk’ plan, have arrived at a very familiar street corner. The sunset means that arriving performers who work best once the sun leaves are just beginning to set up their stage—laying out equipment, testing out sound systems, saying hello to some passersby who recognize the artists getting ready. You can read the signs of these interactions very easily. After all, it’s what Yoongi used to do a year ago, at this very spot too. 

In front of you, a new performer, a singer, is setting up her own equipment—guitar in hand as she practices her strumming. You inch closer to Yoongi, your arms molded against each other. “Hey, hey,” You whisper at Yoongi. The boy leans over to better hear you. “She reminds me of you.” 

Yoongi laughs. “What do you mean? How?” 

You glance over at the girl again, not noticing the way Yoongi is still staring at you, quietly awaiting your answer. “You guys have the same drive,” You eventually note. “And the same determination. It’s easy to see in her, just as it’s always been like that for you…” You trail off, looking over to realize that he’s still looking at you. 

“You noticed those things, huh?” Yoongi asks quietly. 

His gaze is too enticing to look away from, pulling you in through a situation not unlike what had happened at the accessories shop earlier that afternoon. “I-I mean, of course I do…” Yoongi’s gaze feels like hot magnets that are just pulling the next words out of you. “I always notice with you.” 

The world seems to quiet down at that, everything slowing down as you feel yourself mentally curse yourself out for those words. Why would you say it like that? 

A million thoughts go through your head at once. You weren’t really lying or trying to play a part. You were being honest. You do always notice with Yoongi. And since he clearly only sees you as a friend that could participate in whatever scheme he can get himself into, then he would obviously hear your statement and think of it as nothing more than a friendly complement. Right? RIGHT? 

Except, Yoongi is still just standing next to you, staring at you, not making any sort of comment whatsoever. He has that unreadable expression in his gaze, a look he always gives you when you let the cracks slip in your facade, but it’s something he never talks about, never explains to you—just like right now. 

The silence grows tense, so tense that it begins to feel like weights on your shoulders, like a coil wrapping itself around your heart, because why isn’t he saying anything? 

Yoongi hums, low and throaty and that coil around your heart drops into your stomach. “Is that so?” He inquires softly, continuing to gaze at you. 

His gaze drops down to your lips, and that coil is replaced with butterflies all around you. It starts are a flutter in your stomach, in your heart, and your mind starts to race because what the fuck is happening?

Around you, the growing number of people means that someone accidentally bumps into you, driving you forward right into Yoongi’s chest. The pair of you stumble, effectively dissipating that cloud of tension that had threatened to curl through you. You cough, taking a small step away from Yoongi so that while the pair of you were still holding hands, that was the only thing connecting the pair of you. 

You and Yoongi don’t have another run in like that for the remainder of the date, as that late afternoon sunset fades away into nighttime and you and Yoongi spend that time trying to enjoy each other’s presence whilst also not engaging in too much physical contact. Your fingers remain loosely intertwined but it never tightens as if the small air of space between your hands can hide away the nerves and tension you feel yourself trying to contain. 

Even when Taehyung comes to pick the two of you up, and you no longer are under the obligation to hold hands, that air of space still feels heavy between the two of you. 

.

The overwhelming positive response of your first official public date sends Seokjin through the moon, as well as provides him with a drive to arrange and send you and Yoongi out on more dates. All of which, fortunately for you, don’t come nearly as close to the level of tension experienced from the first date. Partly because you know your limits, and go into each planned date with a level of expectation for yourself as well as rules that you’ve internally programmed yourself to follow every time you and Yoongi step out of the car. 

At the museum date, you make sure to keep your distance, using your intertwined hands with Yoongi as the only signal of your relationship. The pair of you joke around about the art pieces, whispering between each other about how many fans have taken pictures of the pair of you lingering about the museum, as well as relay information to each other about various rooms that you are interested in. But in a way, it definitely feels more like a typical friendly hang-out rather than a date. 

The same idea can be applied to the next date Seokjin sends you on—a casual date at one of the local botanical gardens, each garden filled with a different culture to serve as the theme for its layout and plant growth. Some gardens have little cafe booths and grassy fields to buy some snacks before sitting down to enjoy the sunlight, which is an idea that Yoongi suggests that the two of you do. He points to one of the ice cream shops along the outskirts of a garden, and claims a seat on one of the benches so the two of you can enjoy your treat. The current summertime weather emits a warmer heat and breeze that curls lightly through the air throughout the day, making for a perfectly comfortable season to wear a sundress. It’s also the kind of undetectable weather for ice cream to melt down the cone, onto unsuspecting fingers curled into the dry waffle texture. Yoongi makes that well aware by poking your cheek with his sticky finger, garnering several pictures of the encounter. 

Seokjin has even tried to implement studio life into his constant narrative to keep up the facade of your relationship with Yoongi. While the pair of you go on these occasional dates, Yoongi also has a deadline to fulfill with his album release. On the days where dates are not planned out, he’ll be in the studio—rearranging songs to fit in with the music beats that have more or less been tapered down to perfection. As his manager, sometimes you find yourself staying past your allotted time slot of being at the studio, before sneaking into the recording booth way past midnight to see what Yoongi and Namjoon are up to. 

Just as it follows: you straighten up, craning your neck backwards a little to allow for slight muscle extensions after sitting at a desk for an extra hour too long. With Yoongi’s album steadily approaching, there are interviews that need to be arranged, magazines and newspapers and radio shows alike all reaching out to you for the opportunity to cover Yoongi’s growth as an artist. Albums also equate to tours to help promote the album, and with the close call from Yoongi’s last experience with such, it means that you need to book more locations—or the same location across multiple dates. 

Overall, the growing pile of work means that you and everyone else at KSJ Studios are just as anticipated for Yoongi’s album release as the general public. It seems as if his collective fanbase are hoping and waiting under the same parameters: was the album going to be as good as they were expecting? 

You shoulder your purse, stepping out of your office and shutting it behind you. You navigate through the hallways, glancing sideways to peek out the long glassway of windows, all overlooking the city skyline, the multicolor lights flickering ahead in the distance. You quirk a lip. 

Your usual brisk pace dies down when you pass the studio you know Yoongi and Namjoon are recording in. The soundproof walls inside mean that hardly any music ever seeps out from between the cracks, only heightening your curiosity. Your busy schedule recently has made it so you have hardly been able to hear what Yoongi and Namjoon have come up with. 

You glance down at your watch. It was nearing midnight. Well, you think to yourself, a little peek wouldn’t hurt. You reach over to grip the door handle, pushing it down and pushing it open. Inside is the usual scene: Yoongi behind the glass, his fingers curled around the headphones as he speaks into the microphone. His voice filters through the main studio area, where Namjoon sits behind computers and music panels, capturing every single second of what is going on. 

Further driven by curiosity, you find yourself pulling harder at the door to let yourself in. Namjoon turns at the sound, but softens a little when he sees that it’s you. 

“Burning the midnight oil?” You tease, standing next to Namjoon at the table, watching Yoongi’s closed eyes as he loses himself in the song. 

Namjoon grins back. “You’re not gonna tell us to stop, are you?” 

“Hey.” You bring both arms up in a sign of surrender. “I’m off the clock on this one. Just wanted to see what you two were up to.” 

Suddenly, Yoongi calls your name from behind the glass, as the noise is amplified through the studio. You jump slightly, having not expected to be noticed so soon. Yoongi waves. “It’s late!” He calls. “What are you still doing here?” 

You lean forward to press the button that opens the two-way communication. “I’m not sure you heard, but there’s an artist in this studio that’s working on an upcoming album—it’s causing a lot of pain for the rest of us.” 

Yoongi laughs at that. “Touche, touche.” He brightens up slightly. “Hey, we’re wrapping up on this song, so if you stick around I’ll drive you home.” 

This is a natural offer for Yoongi to make, considering the extent to which you’ve spent long nights here. Brushing it off as nothing more than Yoongi just being a good pal, you nod and flash him a thumbs up. “Sounds good, sounds good. But take your time. Don’t let me get in the way.” 

You turn around, allowing the music of Yoongi’s song to refilter back through the studio. You park yourself atop the couch at the back, settling into the soft cushions. Come to think of it, falling asleep definitely isn’t the worst thing in the world to do—especially on this couch. And you’re exhausted, what with scheduling events all day and having to burn through your social battery by making one too many phone calls with various people within the industry. 

The last thing you remember is Yoongi’s soft humming that fades away into a quiet static. 

You jerk awake after what feels like a few minutes—but judging from your new position on the couch (horizontal this time, instead of vertical) and the blanket that has been tucked under your chin, you realize quickly that this few minutes has actually been a few hours. It might be hard to believe that, because the world around you still seems very similar to what it had been when you fell asleep. The lack of windows in the studio make it very difficult to distinguish time—although Yoongi’s voice sounds much closer than it had when you first fell asleep. 

You sit up. 

Namjoon and Yoongi jolt at your sudden movement. “Woah! She’s awake now,” Yoongi teases. 

Blinking for a few seconds, you turn your head to find Yoongi out of the recording booth and instead sitting at one of the tables in the actual studio setting. Surrounding Namjoon and Yoongi looks like an entire McDonalds family meal: chicken nuggets, $1 menu burgers, lots of french fries… 

You let out a breath to help further situate you to your new surroundings. “Min Yoongi…” You start, voice hoarse. “You said you were just finishing up.” 

“I was,” Yoongi explains, looking vaguely guilty. Only vaguely though. “But I had this sudden epiphany, like holy shit you really had to be here—it was crazy.” 

“I was here,” You choke out. 

Yoongi waves you off. “You know what I mean—here here. Anyways, yeah, we realized that we couldn’t leave, especially when I got Namjoon on the same page. He was just as excited as I was!” 

Namjoon slaps his hand. “Don’t drag me into this!” 

Yoongi ignores him. “Anyways, it’s like two in the morning and we got hungry. McDonalds is the food of champions, after all. You hungry? Here, have some water first.” He grabs a bottle of water from the table and unscrews the cap. Suddenly, he’s standing up and making his way towards the couch. He sits down next to you, offering the water to you. “Here. You must be thirsty.” 

You are. Still heavy-lidded too, but you try your best to blink away the exhaustion as you blindly reach for the water and manage to grab it after Yoongi adjusts his own angled arm. He watches you as you tilt your head back to down some of the water, accidentally drinking a little more than your mouth can handle. Some of it slides down the corner of your lip, making you angle your head back properly and remove your lips from the bottle head. 

Yoongi softens a little at your clumsy nature, tugging the sleeve of his long-sleeved forward in order to pat the corner of your mouth. “Aw, look at my tiny little baby, can’t even drink water properly,” He coos. 

You flinch slightly away from him, trying for a glare that comes out more like a pout. Yoongi laughs softly at the sight. “There are no cameras around us, Min Yoongi,” You grumble out. “You don’t need to be so attentive.” 

“Nevermind that, I’m just trying to be a friend. You want a french fry?” He reaches across the space separating the couch from the table, and grabs the box of salty french fries. His voice carries that usual positive disposition from previously, but the light in his eyes has died down a little. You don’t notice it, too busy looking at the french fries and realizing that you are actually a little hungry. 

The remainder of Yoongi and Namjoon’s break is dedicated to finishing up the family meal, before Yoongi looks at the clock and claps his hands together. “Hey Namjoon, I think I should take my girl home before we get back to working. Is that okay?” 

Namjoon’s eyes flicker between the two of you, but he relents. “Of course.” He utters your name. “Have a good night.” 

“I should be saying that to you,” You return teasingly, more of your senses have returned since putting food into your stomach. “See you tomorrow, Namjoon.” 

So Yoongi takes you home, driving through the darkened streets, making light conversation with you, completely ignoring the fact that he has just addressed you as his girl, before your phone starts to buzz in your lap. It’s a notification from Instagram, saying that Namjoon has tagged you in a picture. Raising an eyebrow, you tap the alert, which takes you to a picture from just a few minutes ago—you and Yoongi at the studio, Yoongi tapping gently at your face with his sweater paw. The caption burns into your mind: three am company, ft my favorite artist and his favorite girl. 

His favorite girl. 

His girl. 

.

.

CHAPTER 5: HIS GIRL 

. 

Yoongi’s album is entitled Y2, and it releases in the autumn, when the leaves are colored orange and the breeze has called for cozy jackets and big sweaters. It’s the perfect attire to wear as the earphones get plugged in and slipped into ears—curled up by soft cashmere and Yoongi’s luring voice. He’s got about sixteen songs on the album, a sweet mixture of loose beats and soft vocal voices that seem to simultaneously battle the drawn out harsh tone of stories extended across various three minute arrangements. The stories cover the low point—passive aggressive fights, of late nights, of “holding your hand, being so close, yet feeling so lonely”. But the songs also touch on the high points—coming back together, of soft morning light, of “being with you, wiping the traces of exhaustion from the corner of your lips, so close yet so far away, and still knowing you’re all I [he] could ever want”. 

At least, it is what one article touches upon in a Y2 review, where the journalist gives high remarks to Yoongi’s album. She calls it a refreshing interpretation of music, continuing in the era of singers actually singing about their feelings. More than that, an era of storytelling in music. Of anything, of life, of the highs and the lows—the sadness, the happiness, the softness. 

Safe to say that Yoongi is very excited to read this review on his phone, along with the surplus of positive things people have to say—from highly regarded journalists who belong to highly regarded newspaper companies, from social media, from his friends and family. Most especially, from you. You: whose hand he holds underneath the table as the numbers of listens start pouring in from various streaming websites. 

He’s been nervous about this. He’s put his blood, sweat, and tears into the creation of this album, every song has been nailed down to perfection. His name, and his heart, is back out into the world. 

The night of the album release is the launch party. 

“Dude, it’s supposed to be a chill night,” Jungkook calls from the hallway, and you can’t help but laugh at how exasperated the boy sounds. “Would you just calm down?” Jungkook emerges from the aforementioned hallway. Despite his mention of this ‘chill night’, he’s still wearing something vaguely casual chic. “You’re his manager. Manage his overthinking tendencies.” 

You laugh, watching as Jungkook plops down into the empty spot next to you on the couch, immediately leaning back into the cushion. “You know as well as I do that I don’t have that much control over him.” 

Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. “You probably have more control than you think.” 

Before you can ask more questions, think more deeply into what the fuck Jungkook means by that, his eyes land on the hallway entrance before straightening up in the cusion. Your eyes follow Jungkook’s movement, where Yoongi is now standing in the once vacant space of his apartment. But his stance isn’t what gets you to stare, what makes your breath feel like it has just caught in your chest. Although he’s following the ‘casual chic’ dress code that Seokjin has ordered, there’s something about a white t-shirt that hits differently when it’s paired with a coat and dark jeans that highlight his long legs. 

Yoongi gestures down at what he’s wearing meekly. “What do you think?” Although it appears that he’s addressing both you and Jungkook, his gaze is almost entirely fixed on you. 

Trying hard to ignore the racing of your heart, you straighten up and somehow manage to make your way over to him without snapping your ankle on your chunky platform boots. Doing your best to pay attention to his outfit over his face, you reach over to straighten out the silver necklace he’s got dangling at his chest. “You look good,” You settle calmly. “And Jungkook is right—it’s supposed to be a chill night. Seokjin just invited people from the label. And some of your friends as well. Relax a bit, will you?” 

Finally, you force yourself to level your gaze with Yoongi’s, fully confident that he’s just staring at you and probably wondering why you aren’t making eye contact with him. But when you do manage to glance at Yoongi’s face, you realize quickly that he’s not even staring at you. Instead, he’s staring down, at the curve of your throat. 

Without warning, your cardiac system seems to pump itself too hard, because your breath of surprise comes out through your nose, effectively bringing up and lowering your lungs so fast that anyone would be able to read your vital sounds now. This proves to be true, because Yoongi’s gaze darts up from your neck to your eyes so quickly, that you probably wouldn’t have noticed had you stuck around without looking at his eyes. Doing that, however, might have saved you from this now tricky situation. “Sorry,” Yoongi manages, eyes flickering between yours. “I, uh, didn’t hear what you said.” 

You realize the gravity of your position—your fingers now curled around the lapels of Yoongi’s jacket and one of his hands curled around your waist. That gravitational pull from every single one of your dates with Yoongi comes back again, curling around your neck and seeming to push you closer, closer—! 

Jungkook coughs loudly from behind you. 

You and Yoongi tear your gazes away from each other, as you uncurl both of your fingers from around Yoongi’s coat. “I-uh,” You start. “Was just saying that you should relax a little. You don’t have to try and impress anyone tonight.” 

Yoongi sneaks one last glance at you. “We’ll see,” He says, before stepping away from you and brushing past Jungkook to make his way towards the door. Jungkook turns to look at you, wide-eyed and mouthing the words ‘what the fuck was that?’ 

To which you shake your head, very sure that you don’t want to get into this tonight of all nights. This was supposed to be a celebration for Yoongi. Just as you’ve done for the past few months, you can continue to keep your emotions in check. Easy-peasy. 

Except it’s not easy-peasy because you see Seokjin at the club that he’s reserved for Yoongi’s album release party, and you realize that this is not a chill event for you—you still have to keep up the facade of your relationship in front of everyone. 

Yoongi seems to realize this at the same time you do, because he inches closer to you and laces your fingers together. From afar, Seokjin nods in an unspoken confirmation regarding your behavior. 

The beginning of the party starts with the trickle in of the various guests Seokjin has invited—from the friends he has made in the business, to others signed under the KSJ records label, to you, Jungkook, and Yoongi’s personal friends from college. The onslaught of new people fills you with the usual sense of excitement after not having attended a party in what feels like years. Working as a manager for a budding new artist is a lot less about the parties and more about the hustle. 

The first hour of the event is dedicated to the mingling of people—of free food and conversations around the bottomless cocktails that every guest rushes to the bar to take full advantage of. It’s nice to be able to catch up with the friends that you and Yoongi haven’t spoken to since graduation—which is the group you and Yoongi first approach, as Yoongi is slinging his arm around one Park Jimin. The latter whose eyes widen and lips curl up into a grin at the sight of the two of you. It’s nice to see an old friend again, it almost brings you back to a time where you and Yoongi were both in-tune and surface-level friends.

“Hey, congratulations on the new album release!” Jimin exclaims brightly after the three of you have acquired some drinks from the bartender. Jimin raises his drink first, to which you and Yoongi follow suit. 

As the glasses clink into the air, Jimin adds in another thing that reminds you of the fact that you and Yoongi are not back in college. You are here, in the present, with a fake relationship on the line. 

“And congratulations to your relationship announcement,” Jimin continues. 

You cough on your drink at that, lowering the glass immediately, feeling guilty all of a sudden. “Jimin, I know what all those reports have been saying…” 

“Don’t worry,” Jimin brushes off. “I read through some of them. You guys have been dating for three years, right? I’m honestly surprised I never saw it. In hindsight, it makes sense.” Jimin takes a longer sip, gesturing towards Yoongi with a noise of acknowledgement coming from his throat. “Hm—I guess because you guys are dating now, I can let the cat out of the bag—but, Yoongi liked you from the first moment he met you.” 

Now it’s Yoongi’s turn to choke on his drink, his chest heaving as he coughs into his sleeve. “Jimin, ah, you don’t need to talk about that—!” 

Jimin laughs, naturally assuming that Yoongi’s choke was done out of shyness and not something deeper than that. “What, you think just because this happened when we were at college, I wouldn’t have said something all these years later?” 

You can’t help but smile at their exchange. Although Jimin’s comment about Yoongi’s crush definitely piques your interest. You turn to Yoongi. “You had a crush on me back then?” 

Yoongi opens his mouth, but Jimin beats him to it. “Oh yeah, he wouldn’t shut up about you—said that you had this smile like starlight and were super easy to talk to.” 

“You have a great memory for someone who almost flunked college algebra,” Yoongi bites out hotly. 

Jimin, clearly oblivious to the situation, laughs out loud. “I agree. Normally I would have forgotten all about that. But.” With Jimin’s fingers still curled around the wine glass, he is only able to point an index finger out at Yoongi. “I’ll never forget that look in your eyes. Like you saw something you were never going to let go of.” 

You know Jimin is the one talking, but you cannot help but look at Yoongi as you feel your world spinning slightly around you. You blame it on the alcohol—as small of a sip as you have taken so far. Jimin, unlike a lot of the other parties you’ve been spending your time with, is not in on the joke of your relationship with Yoongi being a PR cover story. So there has to be some merit to it. Right? 

Right? 

Before you can even think how to phrase the billions of questions flying through your mind, the soft beat of a hand against a microphone sounds through the bar, as the original music that has been pounding through the club gets lowered to show that someone is trying to command everyone’s attention. 

It’s Kim Seokjin, situated at the stage, with the microphone in hand. “Hey everyone! Before we actually start unveiling the numbers that Y2 has hit so far, I just want to say a few words. First of all, thank you everyone so much for joining us tonight as we celebrate the anticipated release of Min Yoongi’s album.” 

Lots of claps sound from the guests, several cheers, one of you and Jimin join in just for the sake of embarrassing Yoongi. If he’s flustered with the attention, he’s gotten a lot better at hiding it. 

“Actually,” Seokjin continues. “Why don’t we have the man of the hour join us? After all, my words don’t mean shit up here—I wasn’t the one who just released new music. Yoongi, come on up!” 

Lots more claps and cheers, and the music volume increases dramatically just to give Yoongi some sort of platform to enter on. It makes you laugh. Seokjin is clearly having fun with his role. So you watch, sticking by Jimin, as Yoongi emerges from the crowd to step onto the stage. Seokjin pulls the microphone away from the pair of them as he leans over to whisper something into Yoongi’s ear, where the latter nods a few times before accepting the microphone that is now being extended out to him. 

Yoongi clears his throat, speaking over the lowering music. “Hi guys, thanks so much for coming out,” He starts, laughing a little when there is another round of cheers. “As I’m sure a lot of you know, this is my first full length album that’s being released out into the world and it’s basically everything I ever could have dreamed of. One lesson that I’ve learned is that making albums of both the cover songs I did and the original songs I would produce in my shitty college apartment is a completely different experience than getting professional equipment to do a lot of the work for me.” 

You laugh at that, the memories floating through your mind. 

Yoongi smiles a little at the feedback he gets. But he continues. “And of course a lot of that professional equipment was able to work in my favor because I had helped. Seokjin of course, deserves a thank you for letting me learn and experiment with new sounds, and for letting me take a risk by trying out beats and stories that a lot of people might have turned down. And Namjoon.” He seems to spot Namjoon from the crowd, because he delivers a nod. “For being more than my favorite producer, but also my mentor and my guide. We had a lot of lightbulb late nights together. And finally…” His eyes land on you, and you feel yourself self-consciously straighten up. “Y/N—my Y/N. For those of you who don’t know, my girlfriend is my manager and we recently made our relationship public. I thought the transition from private to public would have been the hardest thing of my life, but she made it so easy. Just as she’s always made it so easy to inspire my music, to be my best friend—and to love her.” 

Love. 

You suddenly feel like you’re seeing the world through a small lens, unable to believe the words you are hearing and the sights you are seeing. Yoongi is staring right back at you, with all this love and adoration in his eyes, lips quirking up as a result of the coos from the audience. 

It’s a vague kind of spotlight anxiety from seeing so many people looking at you considering the circumstances. It’s a feeling that only heightens when Yoongi opens his mouth again to continue speaking. “Actually, honey, why don’t you come up here, so I can thank you properly.” 

The whoops and cheers sound again, and Jimin has to nudge you in the ribs to get you to move. Your initial thoughts are one of panic, suspicion, and curiosity. One glance at Seokjin’s direction conveys the high influx of questions that are flowing through your mind—what exactly are those two boys planning? 

Yoongi’s hand extends out to you, helping you up onto the stage, as you turn around to face the crowd of people Yoongi has just been addressing. Of course, you have less experience hiding your general shyness around crowds, so the most you can muster is a smile and a wave. 

Yoongi laughs into the microphone. “Don’t worry baby, I didn’t call you up to embarrass you. I just wanted to show you that all of this…” He gestures to the whole club, the crowds of people who have taken time out of their schedule to show support, the sounds of his album now filtering through the speakers. “All of this was possible because you believed in me, you supported me, and agreed to help me work toward my dream. This is all as much yours as it is mine.” 

Then, he surprises you by leaning forward to brush his lips across your cheek—a gesture that further incites a bigger reaction of positive cheers and hoots from the audience. You turn your head immediately towards him as soon as he pulls away, your eyes wide with surprise. After all, you and Yoongi have never discussed the rule on kissing before, have never brought up any sort of lip contact to any degree. His boldness is something that takes you completely off guard. 

And judging from the uncertain look that dances behind his eyes, a flicker that only you can see and decipher, you can tell that he hadn’t been expecting that from himself either. 

You’re about to pull away, maybe walk off the stage and take another drink to whatever the fuck that was all about, before Jimin’s familiar voice sounds off from within the crowd. 

“You call that a kiss, Min Yoongi?” Jimin calls, close enough now that it’s easier to see him. “C’mon, kiss your girlfriend like you mean it!” 

The rest of the crowd immediately catches onto what Jimin is doing, and they play into it immediately. Suddenly, shouts of “KISS HER, KISS HER!” sound throughout the guests. 

The new direction that this has taken over the span of just a few seconds seconds you into another wild onslaught of differing emotions. Nevermind the fact that you’ve never agreed to actually kiss Min Yoongi. Obviously, the internal choice has been made for a handful of reasons, none of which you can explain to Yoongi or Seokjin without digging yourself further into this hole where you would truly have no way of escaping.

Which is why you clearly can’t say anything of protest right now. Everyone thinks the pair of you have been dating for years, and that kissing has become a natural action for you both to do. Of course they would play into Jimin’s game, thinking nothing harmful of it. 

Your heart pounds loudly in your ears as you shift your gaze from the crowd of people before you to Yoongi, who looks equally as stunned by the request as you. He plays it off a little bit, however, smiling as he brings the microphone close to his mouth again. “I’m not sure you all would want to be subjected by some PDA, especially you over there, Park.” 

Jimin makes a noise of disapproval. “It’ll just be this one time! I’m sure people don’t mind! Spread the love, Min.” 

Other people from the guest list add on that they don’t mind in between their laughter and giggles, probably writing off you and Yoongi’s shy disposition as just that: a shy, private couple who is still getting used to the watchful eye of the general public. Nevermind the fact that you and Yoongi have just never kissed each other before. 

Yoongi then turns to look at you, microphone down to his legs so that it can’t pick up the small whispers the pair of you start exchanging. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought you up here…” 

“No, no, it’s fine, I understand why you did it…” You trail off. “Kissing my cheek, on the other hand…” 

Yoongi groans. “Yeah, that’s my bad. Seokjin said I could consider doing it but I wasn’t thinking when I leaned over. I completely forgot that Jimin is a menace to society. I’m gonna kick his ass after this.” 

You want to continue this private, side-lined conversation, but it is overrun by the louder voices that keep repeating the same two lines over and over again: “KISS HER, KISS HER!” until the echoes of it start ringing in your ear drums. 

Yoongi switches topics to the more pressing one at hand. “So, uh, I guess we should…” 

You exhale quickly, nodding. “It seems so…” 

Yoongi inches closer to you, his breath fanning your lips as your eyes instinctively close. “I’m sorry,” He whispers, the final thing he says to you before he kisses you. 

Now, let’s backtrack a little. You’ve liked Yoongi for years, so to say that you’ve never thought of this moment would just be a lie to yourself. Of course you’ve thought about kissing Yoongi. Or, at the very least, you’ve caught yourself staring at his lips when he would go off on another spiral about his passions. That type of talking is very hot, so what? 

But you never thought you would be able to experience it, to kiss the lips you’ve flickered your eyes to more times than you’re willing to admit. So as soon as you feel the weight of his mouth against your own, your brain goes haywire. Suddenly, all your senses are hyper focused on Yoongi—from his lips, to the warmth of his body wrapping itself around you, to his fingers curled around your wrist. 

You hardly hear the cheers from the audience, too busy allowing your heart to melt into butterflies as he presses harder into you, moving his lips against yours. You part your lips as well, curling your wrist to gather the material of his shirt into your hands. 

It feels like time has stretched out before Seokjin claps both of you on the back, forcing you to jolt away from Yoongi. He actually looks flustered this time—pink cheeks and reddened lips, his eyes are fixated on you, chest heaving. You feel like you’re in a similar state of shock, especially because kissing Yoongi makes something dawn on you. A realization of ice cold water. 

This isn’t just a crush you’ve harbored on Yoongi for the past few years. This isn’t just some small schoolgirl crush living out a fantasy, or something you can easily brush off, or simple butterflies you can squash everytime he reaches out to hold your hand. This is love. You’re in love with your best friend. And you have absolutely no fucking clue what to do about it. 

If the audience is taken aback by this long-term couple in front of them looking zero point two seconds away from devouring each other in a frenzied passion, no one settles long enough to comment or stare upon it for too long. Seokjin does well to grab the microphone from Yoongi and bring the attention back to the actual party on hand. He mentions another round of free alcohol, which are two words that can take anyone’s attention away. 

“And Yoongi, uh, I actually need to borrow for you a moment,” Seokjin murmurs in a low voice. “So I hope I’m not taking away from…” He trails off, gesturing awkwardly between the two of you. “Whatever this is…” 

“Oh no!” You interject quickly, taking a step away from Yoongi. “Not taking away at all.” 

Yoongi gives you a concerned look. “Maybe we should, uh, talk about that…” 

You shake your head. “No, it’s okay, seriously.” You shrug a shoulder. “Just part of the act, right?” 

Yoongi’s concern melts away into something that might be hurt, but it’s gone just as quickly as it had come. “I’ll try not to be long then.” 

You nod. “Yeah, no problem—no need to rush or anything… I’ll just be hanging out with Jimin…” 

Yoongi gazes at you for a few seconds longer, before he lets himself get dragged off the stage by Seokjin. Rather than immediately go out to seek your old friend, you find your gaze following after the two of them, trying to see where exactly Yoongi is getting roped into. 

You continue to trail after them in the club, until the two of them are pulled into a booth—the person opposite of them makes your lips part in utter shock. 

. 

“Yoongi, I want you to meet an old friend of mine,” Seokjin starts as he and Yoongi dive deeper into the thrones of people. Yoongi feels himself being directed towards a corner booth, currently occupied by two people. “She wanted me to introduce you.” Finally, the pair of them stop at the head of the table. “This is Lee Jieun.” 

Right off the bat, Yoongi is vaguely insulted that Seokjin thought that someone like Lee Jieun needed an introduction—because who wouldn’t know who Lee Jieun? 

Lee Jieun, like Yoongi, is a singer-songwriter with a sweetheart reputation, who weaves stories and experiences through her music. But unlike Yoongi, who got his start through Youtube and built himself from the ground up, Lee Jieun signed into a record label at the age of 15. As one could tell, she was that talented. Still is, as a matter of fact. Her albums are continuously winning awards, establishing herself in the charts, connecting with people all over the world. He would know—when Yoongi finally discovered Jieun in the midst of his Youtuber days, it was the catalyst that served as the biggest influence towards the release of his original songs. The fact that they’re both the same age only makes Yoongi even more in awe of her. 

Yoongi being able to see Lee Jieun, in the flesh, is a powerful enough sight to leave him speechless. 

Lee Jieun sits at the booth, looking all prettied up with her big eyes and red lips. Everything about her seems regal, from the smile she flashes Yoongi to the hand she extends out towards him. 

It takes a second for Yoongi to register what he needs to do. Hastily, he steps forward and takes her hand in his. Despite her delicate nature, her handshake is firm as the pair of them move their joined hands up and down once. Honestly, considering their status difference, he feels like a handshake is too casual for them, but he doesn’t speak of it. He just basks in the moment, until he lets go of her hand. 

Afterwards, he joins Seokjin in the booth, sliding into his seat. 

Jieun smiles brightly at the two of them. “Thank you for going out of your way to come talk to me. I hope I wasn’t disrupting your night.” 

Yoongi shakes his head immediately. “Oh, god no. Of course not. I’m just—I’m really honored to see you here. I-I had no idea that you were friends with Seokjin.” 

Jieun laughs. “Oh yeah, we go way back—we were actually signed under the same label. Seokjin left to pursue management a few years ago, but we’ve always kept in touch.” She reaches over to take her glass of soda from the table. “He told me when he signed you, you know. He said that you were doing street performances a few cities down?” 

Yoongi flushes at that. “Oh yeah—my origin story.” 

“I mean, everyone starts from somewhere,” Jieun brushes off, laying down her cup again. “So I’ve honestly been looking out for your name since Seokjin signed you. I heard about your tour, but knew that I wanted to wait until your first full length album just to make sure your reputation was a little more fleshed out before bringing up my idea with Seokjin.” 

Yoongi blinks, switching his gaze from Jieun to Seokjin. The latter nods, as if to let him know that Jieun would be the one providing information. So Yoongi turns back to Jieun. 

Jieun continues. “Since it seems that we’ve both developed a songwriting, storytelling reputation amongst the music industry, I was hoping that you’d agree to do a collaboration with me. Just one single, both of our names attached to it. It’s been awhile since I worked with another artist, and I’m sure that doing this will only further put your name out there. It could also be a really good learning experience.” 

Yoongi almost cannot believe his ears. Lee Jieun wanted to do a collaboration? With him and his inexperienced ass? 

Yoongi coughs out in wonder. “Wow.” 

Jieun smirks. “Not what you were expecting?”

“No, no, not at all!” Yoongi reassures, but then he backpedals a little. “I mean, it’s not that I was expecting you to ask for a collaboration—I just—!” He cuts himself off, exhaling heavily to calm his nerves. “It’s just, you were a very big reason I even wanted to sing my original songs back when I was street performing. So the fact that you’re asking me to do a song together is honestly so crazy to me.” 

Jieun grins. “I’m honored—so are you agreeing to my request?” 

Almost on instinct, Yoongi turns to Seokjin. It’s not that Yoongi doesn’t want to do the collab, it’ll probably be the single most greatest thing to happen in his career, but Seokjin was technically his boss and their contract had it so Seokjin usually had to final say in what he believed would be best for him. 

And for the briefest flicker of a second, Yoongi’s mind switches to you. More than Seokjin’s approval, he finds himself seeking your praise the most. After all, you know how much he admires Lee Jieun. He wants to share this moment with you. 

Instead of jumping up to go find you, he forces himself to stay rooted to his seat. “I-I think I would be the one who feels honored. T-That is, if Seokjin says it’s okay.” 

Seokjin holds his arms out. “Of course it’s okay! The collaboration was also partly my idea. Anywho.” He turns back to Jieun. “We’ll have to run through Yoongi’s schedule with his manager just to see when he’s available. But after that, we can get started.” 

At the mention of you, Yoongi’s manager, Jieun’s eyes brighten with her smile. “Oh yes, your girlfriend.” She sits a little straighter, trying to seek you out. “She’s here at the event right? I’d really love to meet her, if that’s okay?” 

Yoongi nods immediately. “O-Of course!” He also sits up a little straighter, moving about in his seat to try and locate you. He finds you near the bar, seeming to have ditched your hang-out with Jimin, as you take an occasional sip of your drink. “She’s over there.” 

With a nod, the three of them move out of the booth and towards the bar, where you’re still slouched over, scrolling through Instagram on your phone. You seem to notice their approaching presence, because you take a quick glance over to acknowledge them, before doing a double take when you realize who else is in Yoongi’s company. 

“Oh my gosh!” You exclaim, immediately sliding out of your bar stool, your gaze fixated on Jieun. 

Seokjin laughs at your starstruck reaction. “Y/N, this is Lee Jieun—but I’m guessing you already knew that?” 

You seem to realize your behavior, because your shyness comes back. “I do. Um, hi! It’s really nice to meet you.” You reach over to offer your hand. 

Jieun takes it, shaking for a second. “The pleasure is all mine.” 

Your gaze immediately flints to Yoongi. “Yoongi, you didn’t tell me that you were acquainted with Lee Jieun herself!” 

Yoongi waves you off. “Actually, Seokjin is the mutual party.” 

Your lips part in shock, as you nod once, twice, in understanding. “Well, uh, in that case, I hope you’re having a good time tonight, Jieun.” 

“It’s really a wonderful launch party,” Jieun praises. “But I do admit to having ulterior motives. I actually came by to ask Yoongi if he wanted to work on a collab song with me.” 

Your lips part, and Yoongi feels a vague sense of pride swell up in his chest when you turn to look at him, eyes brighter than they have been all night. “Yoongi! That’s so amazing! I hope you agreed.” 

“I did, actually,” Yoongi says with the nod of his head. If you notice that he’s puffing his chest out a little as your words go straight to his head, you don’t comment on it. “We’ll definitely have to go over my schedule with you, pick some dates where Jieun and I can have some writing sessions, and then the recording sessions, just to name the big picture stuff that’ll have to get done. But we should all be good to go.” 

As Yoongi continues to list everything that’ll need to be done in order to create music together, your gaze shifts between Yoongi and Jieun occasionally, taking in their equal excitement and passion for the long project ahead. It isn’t until the end, when you and Yoongi leave the launch party, after having collected praise and much more from the many friends and connections that have been gained throughout the night, you enter the car wearing an unreadable expression—like you’re pondering something that threatens to break you. 

. 

To be frank, you aren’t surprised that Lee Jieun asks Yoongi to collaborate together. Sure, maybe she came a little earlier than you had expected, but you always knew it was a matter of time before the pair of them met. Their reputations are too similar, their personalities too good together; you’re sure that fate would have lined them up at some point. 

It just feels like maybe the universe made them a little too perfect for each other—and it’s something that becomes glaringly obvious as a month of songwriting goes by without a hitch. Every few days, Jieun would turn up to KSJ Records, bright-eyed and always looking so, so pretty. Every few days, Jieun and Yoongi would sit next to each other, conversing about the story of their song, both bright-eyed with unbridled affection for what they were writing. And sure, Namjoon would be a part of these songwriting sessions. But that’s not the point. 

The point is that as Yoongi gets bigger and success becomes a more natural occurrence in his life, the more people he’s going to meet with whom he shares a common interest and dedication for. People he would probably (most definitely) get along with a lot better than he could get along with you. Friendship is nice and all, but it can’t substitute for the powerful combination of passion, intimacy, and commitment that comes out of romantic companionship. 

And you see it in his eyes: the excitement he gets when he’s surrounded with like-minded people. You’re Yoongi’s manager, sure, and one of his best friends, obviously, but there’s only so much you can contribute to conversations about the actual music. Truth be told, when it comes to editing, you just do whatever Yoongi tells you to. And don’t even get you started on the music arrangements—you can’t even lift a candle to what Yoongi himself can do. Or Namjoon. Or especially Lee Jieun. 

And although you know that Yoongi means no ill-intention, it feels as if he takes every opportunity to remind you of that fact. 

“I mean, she’s amazing.” He’s sighing dreamily over his bulgogi. The pair of you are at a corner booth in a Korean barbeque restaurant, on another fake date Seokjin has prearranged for you. It’s not the first date you’ve been on since Jieun entered the picture, and it’s definitely not the first time Yoongi is bringing her up. And although this isn’t even a real date, and although this isn’t a real relationship, there’s only so much you can take—both as a friend and as someone who is starting to feel the curl of jealousy in your stomach. 

Still, you refuse to let the cat out of the bag. So you sigh, picking up your chopsticks and digging into your meat. The only thing you can manage is: “I bet she is.” 

But Yoongi doesn’t stop there. “You should have seen her today, she was on fire. Songwriting abilities, obviously. We were stuck on this one part of the song, but then she just swooped in with this perfect one-liner that made my heart drop. Seriously, it was so cool. I don’t know how her mind works, but I want to keep hanging out with her to learn more.” 

You almost drop your meat completely into your salt dish, but you recover quickly with a cough. The noise helps cover up the fact that your heart feels the white-hot burn of frustration and confusion. “W-Well, you guys do make a good team. You know, being on the same level talent-wise.” 

Yoongi laughs at that, completely oblivious to your state of mind. “Talent-wise? I wouldn’t say I’m anywhere near the level Jieun is at…” 

As he trails off, you dare yourself to flicker your gaze up to him, seeing the pink flush that dusts along his cheeks. Interpreting this as shyness for the internal praise and fondness he has for Jieun, you look away and pick up the plate of raw beef brisket to dump into the grill. 

Yoongi notices what you’re doing, and immediately reaches over to take the plate from you. “Here, let me do it.” 

A part of you wants to fight about it, but you know doing so will just lead you down the path of no man’s land. So you let go, offering the tongs to Yoongi as he takes it to scrap the meat into the grill between the two of you. He takes the silence as an opportunity to further gush about Jieun, and how he can’t wait to work on music arrangements with her, how he’s excited to record the song with her, so on and so forth. 

How could you even contribute to a conversation like this? He’s talking to you about a girl in a way that reminds you of your college days—back when the pair of you were strictly friends and nothing more, and he would talk to you about girls he thought were cute. It feels a little bit like right now. Yoongi and Jieun do make a good team, they get along together, and have formed a closeness within such a short period of time that anyone passing by the studio would assume they’ve been friends for years. Or, even further, that they were dating. At the very least, Yoongi speaks highly enough of Jieun that one could assume that she was the one he liked, and not you. 

It feels a little bit like being left behind—it’s a thought that only continues to fester. 

.

It takes a few more weeks, but you eventually draft up Yoongi’s tour schedule. It’s a few sheets of paper that detail the duration of the tour, the cities, the locations, the dates of each location, the size of the venue, how ticket distribution will work, on, and on, and on—all information that Yoongi has insisted on knowing about ever since he was signed into KSJ Records. The man just likes to know what his fans have to go through in order to see him, and you respect that. 

However, before you can officially create the tour post that’ll be up on the KSJ Records social media account, it needs to go through a final approval: from Yoongi himself. And because he likes to take notes with paper and pen, like the old-fashioned songwriter he is, he’s asked you to print everything out for him. 

This is what leads you to stand near the printer in your office, waiting for the last page to print and slide into your awaiting hands. Once all the pages come out, you flip through them to make sure that every city on the tour is accounted for. You turn back to your desk, collecting some magazines that have been stacked on top of your table. 

Along with getting the setlist for the tour, Yoongi had also asked you to get a hold of some magazines and articles that provided reviews from his first tour. Something about wanting to read any critiques people might have had for his show.

You gather the small stack as well before sliding it into your bag and stepping out into the hall. It’s surprisingly early for you to be leaving your office, the late afternoon, but there’s a part of you that just wants to give the document stack to Yoongi and dip out for the rest of the night. By now, the doubts of Yoongi’s affection for Jieun has dug itself deeper into your mind and letting yourself be around Yoongi for too long brings up too many questions that cannot be good for your mentality. 

Questions like: If he could, would Yoongi prefer to date Jieun for real? 

Was Jieun better than you? 

And the best one of them all: Were you just holding Yoongi back from better relationships? 

You continue to walk down the hallway of the building, your pace a little slower than normal because of the cloudy thoughts that threaten to overtake your mind. Finally, you stop outside of the studio you know Yoongi and Jieun are recording in. You take in a deep breath, forcing your usual cheery personality to shine through as you pull down on the handle and let yourself into the studio. 

As soon as you step inside, you almost wish that you had just slid the documents under the door. The sight of that would probably have been easier to process than the one in front of your eyes right now. 

Namjoon, as usual at the desk surrounded by music panels and laptops, playing the recently finished music through the recording booth situated on the other side of the glass. Behind this aforementioned sheet of glass are Jieun and Yoongi. With headphones on, they’re standing next to each other behind the microphone. Their shoulders practically touching, you don’t miss the way they both keep sneaking glances at each other, the corner of their lips turning up, looking like they’re having the best time together. 

You try not to slam down the door behind you, but your grip on the knob is a little too harsh to call for a softer click. Fortunately (or unfortunately, given how much fun Yoongi and Jieun look like they’re having—wait, did Jieun just touch Yoongi’s arm), neither of them notice your arrival. 

Namjoon, however, notices. 

He turns around to look at you. “Hey, what’s up?” 

You try for a smile, your hand brushing against the door. “Sorry, I slipped a little,” You lie cleanly. You hold up the documents in your other hand. “Yoongi wanted me to prepare a few things for him, stuff for the upcoming tour.” 

Namjoon gestures for you to sit next to him, something that you follow. As soon as you sit down, Namjoon asks to see these aforementioned documents, which you pull out of your bag and hand over to him. It’s quiet between the two of you, the only sounds being the laughs and giggles between Yoongi and Jieun—as if one has them as just told a secret only understood between them. It’s a feeling that doesn’t settle well in your stomach. 

“Wow, this is very efficient,” Namjoon observes, seeming completely oblivious to your internal seething. 

You shrug, eyes still locked in on the inside of the recording booth. “Yoongi asked for the best, so I gave him the best. Hey, so—!” You change topics. “Is there a reason they’re in the booth together? Don’t a lot of collabs nowadays just exchange everything virtually?” 

Namjoon hums. “I didn’t know the jealous girlfriend was a full time act of yours now.” He’s clearly just trying to have fun. After all, only Taehyung and Jungkook know about your crush on Yoongi. “But honestly? I’m not too sure. They just wanted to go in together—said that they could be more personal when working in a face-to-face setting. And they’re actually making a lot of changes as they keep going through the song and hearing how the music is turning out. They’re a good team.” 

Namjoon’s usage of the very same phrase that has been haunting you for the past few weeks doesn’t sit well in your stomach. 

Namjoon returns the documents to you. “Did you want to talk to him now? See if he’s cool with you just dropping it off?” 

You nod. “If that’s okay?” 

Namjoon smiles. “We’ll just wait until they take a breath.” 

Waiting doesn’t turn out to take a long time, because Jieun stops the song to make another statement about what line should replace the one they just sung. And Yoongi looks at her like she’s just hung up all the stars in the galaxy. 

“Namjoon, do you mind starting the song over? We got a new idea for this part,” Jieun calls from inside the booth. 

Namjoon leans forward to press the button. “Actually, you guys have some company.” 

You lean forward as well. “Hey guys.” 

Jieun grins, waving at you through the window. Yoongi acknowledges you as well, but there’s something suddenly stiff about his movements. You notice that he’s also stepping away from Jieun, as if to hide what has been going on between him and Jieun. As if that makes you feel any fucking better. 

“Hey, uh, Yoongi?” You continue. “I have the documents you asked me to prepare for you. I can just leave it here for you to go over if that’s cool. Maybe take a little bit of time today to go over everything.” 

Yoongi thinks about this for a moment. “Actually… honey,” He adds the pet name as an afterthought. “Do you mind dropping it off at my apartment? We’re probably just gonna be focusing on the song until pretty late tonight.” 

The acknowledgement Yoongi has that he and Jieun are in for another late night only grows the seeds of doubt in your mind, as you clench your teeth. You can’t let your insecurities get the best of you. Not now. “Sure,” You manage, trying for a small. 

Yoongi grins. “Thanks baby. I’ll make it up to you this weekend, okay?” 

At this point, it just feels like he’s teasing you and it’s something you find you aren’t really in the mood for. So you manage a curt reply, giving a positive response that you’ll drop by his apartment to deliver the documents regarding his upcoming tour, before you’re up and out of the studio before Jieun, Yoongi, or Namjoon can say one last thing. But you don’t care. The sooner you’re out of there, looking at the heart-eye festival between Jieun and Yoongi, the better you feel. 

So you take the train to Yoongi’s apartment, a now much bigger space in a slightly nicer area of the city. At least, nicer than the college apartment he shared with Jungkook that was no stranger to bed bugs and constant maintenance issues. The newer apartment Yoongi has recently acquired is nicer, has more modern finishes, and is now a space he fills in all by himself. 

As you unlock the door to his apartment, you immediately make your way down the small hallway entrance, where a mirror and his shoes occupy a small corner of the area. The hallway opens up into the living room, and you turn on the light and take in the vaguely familiar sight of his new furniture—home pieces that you helped arrange with him a few months ago. Come to think of it, that was probably the first and last time you had come by Yoongi’s apartment. Before certain life elements got involved. 

Tonguing the inside of your cheek, you plop yourself down on the couch and place the document stack at the corner of the coffee table. It looks rather strange just stacked like that, no context provided, so your eyes shift over for a pen and a post-it note. 

You find a stack of post-it notes, and find a pen sticking out from inside a notebook. Paying little attention to the notebook, you just make a grab for the pen and rip it out of the notebook with the aggression of a gorilla. The notebook flies open, the contents inside barring itself right at you. 

Your immediate reaction is to close the notebook. After all, it just takes one glance at Yoongi’s scrambled handwriting to know that this is one of his writing journals. His most recent one, in fact, judging from how flat the pages after the one currently open appear—like it hasn’t been stained with a pen yet. 

You want to close it—you really do. You and Yoongi have built a friendship on trust. That’s what kept you both together throughout the long years, and you know better than to risk everything just for the chance to scope through what is essentially a songwriter’s diary. 

Your fingers inch towards the edge of the book, about to close it shut, before the title at the top header makes you freeze. 

MY SECRET 

Without meaning to, your eyes read over the lines. And you feel sick to your stomach. 

The song is so raw, so personal, brimming with desire in every verse. It covers lingering stares, secret smiles. A barrier. How Yoongi “wants you more and more with each day, but I know I can’t have you, that I shouldn’t have you”. And you know Yoongi—you know him better than anyone. You know that for all the love songs he sings and the topics he sings about that he feigns ignorance for, he draws on personal experience to write his music. How else could he make everything so personable? 

How could this song not be about Jieun? 

The lingering stares, secret smiles: it clearly points to the events in the recording booth you saw earlier that day, and if he’s writing a song about it, it’s obvious that today hadn’t been the first time for those stares and smiles. 

The barrier: obviously you. The relationship facade he’s forced to put up with you, when he’s clearly so much happier with someone else. 

With those factors, it’s so clear that Yoongi would want Jieun, but would be unable to have her. 

And you’re just the girl in the background with the starry eyes for a guy who would never even look at you the way you want him to. 

That realization brings the hot tears to your eyes, as you slam the notebook shut and bring your hand to your mouth, biting your finger to muffle your sobs. What comes out is the build-up of months of insecurities, of having to keep the biggest secret of your life to yourself, and the additional jealousy brought in by a third party. 

This despair and sadness isn’t good for you, and you know that only continuing to hide it away in light of Yoongi and Jieun’s partnership, in light of your feelings, and Yoongi’s exploding career—you should only be able to handle so much. You’re a human being, and you have your limits. 

And you think this might be it. 

.

.

CHAPTER 6: TRUTHS 

. 

“Y-Yeah, I think it’s food poisoning or something,” You speak quietly into the phone, playing with the edges of your blanket. “I’m really sorry, Seokjin, I’ll try to send out some emails to respond to news outlets today…” 

“Hey, no, you’re totally fine,” Seokjin replies hastily. “I don’t blame you for that. Just try and get some rest today, and update me on how you feel tomorrow.” A pause. “What was it?”

“Uh, it must have been in the takeout I got last night.” That’s a lie. You cooked your own dinner last night, and are lying straight through your teeth regarding your condition, but you can’t find it in yourself to go to work today. Not since the discovery of Yoongi’s crush on Jieun made you want to dig yourself into a hole and never crawl out. 

It’s not like you ever thought you had a chance with Yoongi—but you had just thought maybe something would be different after the hand holding, after his radio interview, after your kiss together. 

But Jieun serves as that nice splash of reality that Yoongi wants someone better than you. Someone more like him—someone passionate about music, who gets along with him better, who can write music with and write music about. 

At this point, it just feels like you’re a weight, dragging Yoongi down in the waves of his past. 

On the other side of the phone, Seokjin sighs. “Damn, that’s always the worst. Those are the ones you suspect the least. Anyways, I’ll let you go. Get some rest. Maybe I’ll let Yoongi know so he can bring some soup.” 

The mention of Yoongi makes you feel like you could actually get food poisoning. “You can let him know, but he’ll probably be too hung up on Jieun to give a shit.” 

Seokjin, of course, knows nothing, so he laughs at what he thinks is your joke. “That’s true. They’re actually at it again today, which is surprising considering Jieun only comes by a few times a week. But no, she was here bright and early and so was Yoongi. Basically, they showed up to the studio at the same time. They called it fate, or some shit like that.” 

“You don’t say,” You return dryly. 

Namjoon’s confirmation that they make a good team, paired with Seokjin’s admittance that Yoongi is hung up on Jieun, puts you in a delicate mood for the rest of the day. You try to watch some TV shows, some movies, play some video games, but you are constantly distracted by thoughts of Yoongi and Jieun. 

You’re all curled up on the couch, about to click into another movie, when there’s a knock on your door. Your heart leaps in your throat as you stand up. You hate the brief flicker of hope in your chest, the curiosity that perhaps Yoongi is the one knocking. 

All those hopes are dashed when you see it is Jungkook on the other side of the door. 

“Oh,” You remark, the smile dropping from your face. “It’s just you.” 

Jungkook looks at you like you pissed in his cereal. “Uh, I don’t see other amazing friends over here bringing you store-bought chicken soup because they heard you got food poisoning last night.” He holds up the bag for extra emphasis. 

You roll your eyes, grabbing the bag from him. “I don’t actually have food poisoning, I just didn’t want to go to work today.” 

Jungkook furrows his eyebrows at your statement. There’s a lot you’ve given him that he can work with, lots of things he can ask about. Maybe ask why you would lie about your food poisoning, maybe ask why you didn’t want to go to work today, maybe ask why you still looked like shit. 

But the first thing he says: “You owe me twenty dollars.” 

You roll your eyes, beckoning him inside with the jerk of your head. “Sure.” 

Jungkook laughs a little. “Wait, okay, I was actually kidding.” But he still steps into your apartment. “I’ll be serious now. Why lie about food poisoning? And since when do you not want to go to work? If anything, you love to go so you can stare at Yoongi’s ass through the recording booth—!” He cuts himself off when you give him a glare of such pure hatred that it actually shocks him. “Wait, are you mad at Yoongi?” 

You tear your gaze away from him, placing the bag of groceries on your countertop. Sorting through what Jungkook has bought serves to be a good distraction. 

Jungkook continues to look at you. He’s quiet, but he always has a lot to say, and since you’ve been his friend for so long that only heightens his need to talk. “I knew it!” He finally says. “I knew you were mad at him. Taehyung and I were placing bets down.” 

You slam the can of chicken soup on the counter. “HEY. What did I say about gossiping?” 

“Not in front of your face?” 

Your hand flinches, as if to stop yourself from grabbing the can and throwing it at his stupid face. Jungkook doesn’t even move in fear, the bastard. “I’m just gonna pretend I don’t know about the bets. You want a can of chicken soup?” 

Jungkook confirmation finds you at the stove, heating up two of the many cans Jungkook had bought for you. Included in his twenty-dollar purchase had been a few containers of tums, and some orange juice. 

Jungkook lingers in the back. “You wanna tell me why you’re mad at Yoongi?” 

You whirl around to face him. “How did you even know I was upset?” 

Jungkook snorts, but quiets down when you glare at him. He coughs. “You’re pretty easy to read, you know. You’ve been acting weird ever since Jieun started coming by the studio.” 

“Weird how?” 

He shrugs. “I don’t know. You’re just a little quieter. And you haven’t been spending as much time in the studio as you used to. That was the biggest giveaway.” 

You’re quiet for a moment. You rub at your cheek. “Does Yoongi know?” 

Jungkook shakes his head. “Doubtful. But I think he knows something is up. I was on the phone with him last night.” 

It’s your turn to snort. “Okay, that’s really fucking funny.” At Jungkook’s raised eyebrow, you explain. “I thought he’d be too busy comparing Jieun to sunlight, or something, to notice me.” 

“Oh, so you’re jealous.” 

You and Jungkook have a staring contest, before you sigh. “I accidentally saw Yoongi’s writing notebook yesterday. It had all these love confessions in it, and I’m pretty sure he was talking about Jieun.” 

Jungkook’s eyes widen. “No way? Are you sure?” 

You cough. “Well, I’m not a hundred percent. But it was all about this forbidden crush he couldn’t act on because of a barrier. Who else could be the barrier? He obviously thinks I’m holding him back from pursuing a relationship with Jieun.” You think about your words for a second, trying to decide if Jungkook is trustworthy enough to disclose this information to. “I think I’m gonna break it off with him. Maybe quit too, while I’m at it.” 

Jungkook’s lips part. “But why?” 

“What else am I supposed to do?” You cry. “I can’t keep up this fake dating with Yoongi anymore, it’s too complicated, and I’m actually in love with him so that opens up this whole other series of complications. And it’s not fair to Yoongi—he shouldn’t have to deal with feelings he obviously doesn’t return. The whole charade thing just isn’t doing me any good. And even if I break off the relationship, I would still have to see him all the time because of the whole manager situation. Quitting just seems like the best option for me.” 

Jungkook is quiet for a second. “How do you even know he wrote that song about Jieun?” He finally asks, speaking carefully. 

You shrug. “I don’t know. I just have this feeling. Who else has he been spending all this time with? Who else could that song possibly be about?” 

Jungkook gives you a long, hard look, like he almost can’t believe your brain can be thinking those thoughts. But he relents. “I think you should talk to Yoongi before quitting. He’s one of your best friends. He deserves to know why, at least.” He looks over your shoulder. “The chicken soup is done.” 

You whirl back around to turn off the stove. But also so Jungkook can’t see the tears glassing over your eyes. 

. 

It turns out, telling Yoongi you want to quit is a much more difficult task than you could have thought. For starters, Seokjin sets the pair of you up on more dates than before. Apparently, there are some rumors going around regarding Jieun’s more and more frequent turn-ups at KSJ Records, and people have started connecting the dots that her appearances are tied to either one of two reasons. Either Yoongi and Jieun are collaborating on music. Or they’re dating. 

The second reason is a lot juicier, much more exciting, so naturally a lot of people have gravitated towards supporting that reason. To try and expel those thoughts, Seokjin sends you out on more dates with Yoongi. It’s all fine, but your thoughts about breaking off this relationship and quitting just makes you more quiet and closed off as you wallow deeper into your thoughts. 

You suddenly don’t know how to contribute to the conversations Yoongi tries to bring up to you. The words seem to fail you every time, and you feel yourself constantly resorting to silence or one-worded answers. And it constantly always feels like Yoongi is standing too close to you. Every step towards you is a step away from him. When he tries to hold your hand on the sixth date in two weeks, you wiggle out of his grasp and pretend that you need to fix your jacket. 

Your own journey to self-destruction means that you are completely oblivious to the hurt in Yoongi’s eyes with every step you take to distance yourself from him. But what could you even say to him?

How could you tell him you want to quit your job in public? That would obviously lead to a fight, and it would reflect badly on Yoongi’s public image. Just because you want to quit doesn’t mean you still care about him, because you do. And you still want him to succeed. With Seokjin’s constant scheduling of dates, it leaves little room for you to share in an actual private discussion. The only off times Yoongi has are the days Jieun comes by the studio, and you try to stay a mile away from that place now. 

But it turns out, you don’t have a choice today, because Seokjin calls you into his office and tells you to drop off the samples of cover art that has just been dropped off at the studio. The cover art is something that Jieun and Yoongi have designed together for the album, to be displayed when the single is released. 

With heavy feet, you make your way through the hallways and towards Yoongi’s studio space. Every fiber in your being hopes that Yoongi and Jieun will be in the recording booth, working on their song (or even better, just not in the studio at all), so that you don’t have to face them enjoying each other’s company right in front of your face. There’s no music coming through the door, so your heart soars that latter prospect. 

As you open the door, however, you realize that there’s no way for you to be so lucky. 

Inside, Yoongi and Jieun are eating lunch, takeout noodles split between the two of them, and they’re in the middle of laughing. The laughter, however, stops when you open the door, effectively interrupting their fucking date. Which is a thought that does nothing to make you feel better. The silence that echoes on only further makes you feel like shit. 

You and Yoongi sharing a room privately nowadays is a rarity, since you’ve been doing a good job at avoiding him at all costs. His unanswered text messages and shortened calls echo through your mind at the sight of him. With the look he’s giving you, you wonder if he’s thinking the same thing. 

Jieun, however, remains completely oblivious to the situation as she gives you her normally bright cheery greeting. You stare at you, momentarily stunned. You would have thought Yoongi shared the troubles of your relationship with her, for some reason. You try to remain nice about it, though, giving Jieun a small smile as you return her greeting. 

“I, uh,” You start, bringing the package up for both of them to see. “Your cover art came in today. Seokjin just asked if I could drop it off here.” 

Jieun brightens at the sight. “Oh my gosh, it came! Do you mind if I…?” She trails off, hands reaching out to take the package from you. You give it to her. “Yoongi, isn’t that so exciting?” 

“Yeah…” Yoongi trails off. A quick glance at him tells you that he’s staring at you. You look away. “Did you see it yet?” He asks you. 

You shrug. “I, uh, haven’t. But, anyways, I have to get going.” 

“Hey,” Jieun calls, freezing you slightly in your path. “Thanks for bringing this over. We really appreciate it.” 

We?

The use of that specific noun, while supposedly harmless in the current context, makes your stomach flare with that white hot curl of jealousy. Your teeth clench, as you swallow down the spiteful words that almost manage to escape into the air around you. You smile, no teeth. “You’re welcome.” That’s the only thing you can manage before you’re turning around to open the door and practically bolt yourself out of the studio. 

You only make it a few feet before the door to the studio opens and you hear footsteps trailing after you. He calls your name, and your heart drops. You are so not ready for any type of one-on-one conversation with Yoongi right now. 

But your entire soul still gravitates toward him, so you stop and turn around to face him. 

Yoongi is by himself this time, and looking like a mixture of confused and defeated as he approaches you. “Listen,” He starts. “I know that we haven’t had a lot of time to really talk…” 

“It’s okay,” You brush off. 

Yoongi says your name again. “You know, you don’t need to lie to me. You’re my best friend—I can tell when you’re hiding something from me.” 

You sigh, shaking your head as every nerve in your body is telling you to walk away. “Yoongi, I’m not sure I can do this right now.” 

“Do what?” He presses. “I know that I’ve been super busy, but if you want to talk you can just let me know. Tell me what’s bothering you, okay? Because I…” He trails off, sighing, and you feel that vague sense of guilt wash over you. “I can tell that you’re avoiding me and it’s really shitty. I can’t even focus that much on my song with Jieun.” 

The mention of Jieun stiffens you up again. “Well, sorry for being an inconvenience,” You spit. “Why don’t you go back to your new fucking girlfriend if you’re gonna bring her up to my face again.” You couldn’t stop yourself this time—the words were too ready at your lips. Your chest is heaving from it too, but it is things that you know that you will regret saying. 

Yoongi’s eyebrows furrow deeper together as your words. 

You stare right back at him, the shadow of a thought passing over you. If you’re going to tell Yoongi your biggest secret, it might as well be right now. You don’t know the next time you will be this brave, this reactive, this bold. 

Both of you open your mouths at the same time. 

“Did you just call Jieun my girlfriend?”

“I’m quitting.” 

You clamp your mouth shut. You hadn’t meant to speak at the same time as him. A small wave of regret passes through you, as you hope that Yoongi wouldn’t have heard your statement over his question. But of course he does. 

Yoongi’s frowns at you. “Did you just say you were quitting?” 

You take a step back, running a hand through your hair as your exhale comes out shaky. More shaky than you intended it to. Oh no. “Yeah,” You manage, already feeling your emotions bottling up. “I was gonna try and talk to Seokjin about quitting before I left.” 

If Yoongi thinks you were joking before, he definitely doesn’t now because he takes a step towards you and catches your wrist before you can go that far. “B-But why?” His eyes have gotten a little wider, and he’s staring at you like his world is being pulled apart. 

You try to tug your wrist away to no avail. Your mind tries to flash through several different excuses, but you realize that you need to tell him the truth. Yoongi deserves that much, at least.

As you try to collect your thoughts, Yoongi starts scrambling. “W-Was it something I did?” He asks quickly. “Because normally you’d always try to call me out and I’d fix myself immediately. A-Are you unhappy with your position? Because I can try to get Seokjin to give you less workload or something. I-I’m really sorry if it was something that I did to hurt you. I-I just really need you here so talk to me… please…” 

You shake your head. “It’s a little more complicated than that,” You whisper. “I know your secret, Yoongi, and that’s why I can’t do this anymore.” 

“W-What secret?” His eyes are still on you. 

You take in another breath. “I went over to your apartment that night,” You start. “And I saw what you were writing in your journal. I know that you’re in love with Jieun, and that you only see me as a barrier to pursuing a relationship with her. And that sucks because normally, I’d encourage you to go after her. But we’re doing this whole dating thing, and I feel like I’m neck-deep because…” Your words come out a little more shaky. “Because I’m in love with you,” You whisper. “I’ve been in love with you for years. B-But I know now that I’ll never measure up to Jieun, or any of the other girls in this industry who deserve you more than I do. I thought that I could keep being professional for you and your career. But it’s too hard for me.” 

“W-Wait,” Yoongi says, tightening his grip on you. “Can you just let me explain, please? It’s not like that, I promise you.” 

You rip your wrist from his hand. “I read it!” You retort loudly. “Who else could be the person you want more than anything, but can’t have because of a physical barrier? When else have you used a real person to inspire your music? It’s too hard for me, Yoongi! I can’t keep doing this!” 

Yoongi seems to be struggling with his next words. “So, what?” Yoongi asks, circling around his next question carefully. “You’re just going to leave? Is this… the end of our friendship?” 

You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know! I haven’t thought this out that far. But I know that we shouldn’t be doing this fake dating charade anymore, because I know there’s no way these past few months have meant the same to you as it did to me. I also know that I can’t really be in the same room with you right now.” 

Yoongi hopelessly gazes over at you, his own chest heaving as he himself struggles with what to say. “Please don’t do this,” He returns softly. 

Your gaze lingers on Yoongi’s for just a while longer, trying to burn the image of him in your mind, before you shake your head. “I’m sorry.” 

. 

As it turns out, Seokjin is out of the office for the rest of the evening. Which is fine, right? Whatever. You can just call him tomorrow morning and schedule a meeting with him, tell him the urgency of it and will definitely be able to muster your strength for another conversation about your secret feelings for Yoongi. 

You return to your apartment and immediately burst into tears as the weight of today’s confrontation sinks its teeth right into your neck. You just shared your feelings with Yoongi, you threatened your employment, and almost cut off your friendship with Yoongi as a result of that. 

Your many years of friendship, of late nights, of laughter together. It seems silly to want to cut off an important friendship just like that—but it just seems unfair of you to carry on with a friendship where you’re always going to crave more. And if Yoongi is smart, he’ll know that as well, and he won’t come back. 

Still, a part of you just hopes a little. Even though, of course, it’s a stupid thing to hope for. Yoongi has already established his taste, and it’s definitely for people leagues above you. The thought only makes you cry a little harder, so much so that you try to drink some water in order to calm down. 

You’re in the beginning stages of patting down your face, of grabbing some spoons to put into the freezer, when there’s a series of frantic knocking at your door. You turn your head towards the source of the noise, trying to figure out who could be visiting at a time like this. It’s been a few hours since your confrontation with Yoongi at the studio, but you assume that he’s probably blowing smoke up Jieun’s ass. There’s no way that it could be him. 

So you open the door, and freeze when you realize that it is Yoongi. 

More than that, it’s Yoongi with his chest heaving. Almost like he has just run around the entire city to reach you. 

The only thing you can manage right now is a wide-eyed stare.

Yoongi stares right back at you. Just a few hours ago, he had looked so helpless and lost for words. A first, actually. But this time, he’s staring at you with so much intensity that you cannot look away. 

Yoongi finally seems to catch his breath. “You’re an idiot,” He states. 

You’re so caught off guard by that statement that you forget you’re supposed to be upset with him. “I’m sorry?” You ask. 

Yoongi huffs, practically barreling past you to step into your house. You try to tell him to stop, but he’s distracted by rummaging through his backpack for something. With a sigh, you decide to close the door. As soon as he’s standing in your kitchen, he finds an old, beaten up notebook that you vaguely remember from his college days. He points at you with his notebook. “You’re an idiot,” He repeats. “If you think that the lyrics on my coffee table are the first time I’ve written lyrics about a specific person.” 

At your shocked expression, he immediately starts flipping through the notebook. You notice that certain pages are marked with sticky tabs. 

Yoongi settles on a page and clears his throat. “Hidden within the walls of our lecture hall, your laughter curls through the cracks like liquid fire. You light up my day amongst borrowed pencils and shared jokes. I knew that you were going to change my life,” he reads. He looks up at you. “The first day I met you, when I asked you to borrow a pencil.” You remember those lyrics. It was from a song he had written called ‘starlight’—the opening song on his first EP. 

He flips through a few more pages. “I never learned about love, but I watch her believe in my dreams, take the same steps to join my team, and I feel like I could figure it out.” He looks at you. “When you agreed to help me with my Youtube channel.”

He continues through his notebooks of lyrics, of stories, of secrets. Every single lyric he reads to you connects back to some memory he holds of the two of you. All the memories together in college: from the panic attack he had in the bathroom of the first party the pair of you attended, to exploring the nearby cities via subway until early mornings, to corner ramen shops. 

Soon enough, he moves on to the lyrics he had written during his first tour. The distance he felt, and how that related to the emotional distance he felt with you—that desire he constantly felt for more, and how the manager and artist relationship the pair of you had couldn’t hold a candle to the friendship you once held. The distance was never a physical challenge, and that was something you could never connect the dots on. 

Every stone of his hidden affection is turned over, every lyric he has marked read over and explained with such a passion. It’s like he has waited years to finally have his turn, to finally speak the way he’s always wanted to—directly, with no tricks of music and whimsical arrangements to make you doubt everything he could say. 

He had written whole songs about the fake dating experience, of how he wasn’t sure he could only pretend to love you when it was the only thing he ever knew how to do. 

Finally, he flips to his most recent song. The very song that you had stumbled upon the other day in his apartment. “I want you more and more with each day, but I know I can’t have you, that I shouldn’t have you,” He reads. He looks up at you. “The barrier was the blanket of our fake relationship. You were never stopping me from doing anything, because you were the only thing I have ever wanted. So…” He gestures to all the notebooks that he has laid out across your kitchen counter. “Do you now see how many song lyrics are actually about you? All about you. Because you’re all I’ve always known.” 

Your gaze carefully studies each notebook, layered over each other, overflowing with dedication and passion. The privacy of someone who has surprisingly spent his entire singing career sharing nothing but his darkest secrets. Your arms are overlapped with each other, tightening against your form. “I-I had no idea.” 

Yoongi shakes his head, but when he looks at you, his eyes are soft. “I figured that.” He’s leaning across the counter to keep his gaze leveled with you, but he pushes himself even closer to tap a finger on the spot between your eyes. “I thought I made it so obvious. You were never listening.” 

“I-I never thought to,” You admit softly. But Yoongi has a point. Ever since he started writing and sharing his original songs, he has done nothing but sing them to you in any and all forms. From the private sessions the pair of you shared in his college apartment, to the performances he would deliver on the street, in the recording booth at all hours of the day, to the tours and the audiences that sing those love declarations right back at you. For years, Yoongi has done nothing but give, and give, and give. And you had no idea. 

Your breath hitches, and Yoongi rounds the counter and gathers your face in his hands. “Shh,” He coos softly. “It’s not your fault.” 

You sniff. “It is my fault! I’m such a stupid bitch. And I treated you and Jieun like shit because I thought you were in love with her. I thought I was holding you back from being able to date who you really wanted to be with.” 

Yoongi shrugs. “I mean, technically, you were.” At your look, he hastily goes to explain himself. “The person I really wanted to date was you. But since we were, uh, fake dating, that prevented me from being able to date you for real…”  

You groan at his teasing grin. “You idiot, that was so bad.” 

“Sorry, sorry.” Yoongi is still grinning though, tracing his thumb over your cheekbone. His eyes follow the movement, mentally outlining you into his mind. “I just wanted to see you smile.” His smile slips a little. “Since you had been ignoring me for so long.” 

You pout. “I told you, I thought you were in love with Jieun. And honestly, that would make a lot of sense… she’s really pretty and talented and you guys could talk about music for hours, especially compared to me—!” 

“Stop,” Yoongi cuts in, closing his eyes briefly. “I’m gonna stop you there before you say something I don’t like.” He angles his head to level his gaze with you. “Jieun is really cool, I’ll probably be the first one to admit that. But she’s not you. Hey, c’mon, look at me.” He forces you to look at him again. “You are also so, so pretty and smart and talented. You may not know a lot about music and songwriting, but you were always the one who pulled all-nighters with me to edit my videos, or learn music with me, or point out if something in my music didn’t sound right. Your passion to help is something I really love about you.” 

You pursue your lips to hide your smile. “Love, huh?” 

Yoongi doesn’t even hesitant. “Well, yeah, because I’m in love with you. I thought that was obvious.” 

You exhale. “Yeah, well, it’s different hearing you say it outloud.” 

Yoongi grins. “Well, hopefully you’ll get used to it. I have many years to make it up to you.” His smile dies down a little. “I’m sorry,” He finally settles with. “I should have been more straightforward and honest with you about my feelings. You must have been suffering for so long, having to keep it all in and everything.” 

You shake your head. “I’m also sorry,” You whisper. “For jumping to conclusions so fast. And also not really listening to your lyrics. That was kind of stupid of me, considering I’m your manager and everything.” 

Yoongi laughs. “It seems like you’re good now, seeing as you’ve just gotten an exclusive behind-the-scenes artist cut and commentary about his songs.” He pauses for a second. “So, I hope this means that you won’t quit being my manager. And that, maybe, we can promote our relationship from fake dates to real ones.” 

You smile. “I’d like that.” 

His smile turns softer. “And I was hoping that maybe I can kiss you again. For real, this time. No cameras, no Seokjin breathing down our necks.” 

You giggle. “Just so you know, if the kiss at your album release party had been a real one and we were actually dating at the time, I probably would have wanted you to fuck me in the bathroom or something.” 

Yoongi groans. “Don’t say that with that cute smile on your face. Makes me want to do things to you.” 

“I don’t see you pulling away though.” 

“Of course not.” Yoongi’s figure loams over you now, his lips brushing against yours. “I have three years to make up to you.” 

With that, he kisses you, silencing whatever next words you were going to say. That is, if you even had any to begin with. Now that he’s kissing you, stealing the breath from your lungs, you’re not even too sure any thoughts have been floating around at all. Unlike the kiss at the album release party, which had been softer and dainty, held back to hide a secret, this kiss is rougher. Yoongi is already moving his lips against yours, already parting his lips to brush his tongue against your lower lips. His hands are already sliding across the counter, trying to cover you more and more. 

His hand slips on the counter though, almost sending his sprawling on top of you. You catch him with your hand on his chest, as the sudden action makes both of you pull away from each other. The sight you both face is very much like the sight from the launch party: flushed cheeks and redden lips, a desire for more flickering behind eyes. 

But this time, there is no expectation to carry on in a party like a long-term couple. That is what allows Yoongi to wrap his arms around you, pulling you to his chest this time. He kisses you again, slower, softer, but you deepen the kiss with the part of your own lips this time. There is an unspoken agreement between the two of you as he lifts you into his arms and blindly navigates through your apartment, into your bedroom, where you both fall atop the mattress. 

“And just for the record,” You whisper, right when Yoongi pulls away to let both of you catch your breath. “I love you too.” You’ve already admitted your feelings earlier in the day, but it’s worth it to see Yoongi deliver that heart pounding gummy smile. 

[forestlingincorporated]

I wanna talk about Janet Drake

I’m not against exaggeratedly evil versions of Tim’s parents, tbh. It’s fanfiction, if we can depict an Exaggeratedly Good version of Bruce (which we can, and I do, and I love) then we can depict the Drakes as Exaggeratedly Bad. As someone who personally identifies with Tim, and his brand of complicated parental abuse in particular, I find it cathartic to uncomplicate that abuse and rescue him from the Obviously Evil Bad People. 

That said, since much of comics lore is passed down word of mouth, the oral tradition surrounding Tim has developed this idea of Janet as The Worse Parent between her and Jack that was never really present in the comics. We see much LESS of Janet, and we have 20 years worth of comics depicting Jack as a neglectful hotheaded idiot who ultimate does love his son. More importantly, Jack isn’t very much LIKE Tim, so there is a habit to attribute Tim’s traits to his mother... and, as someone who really really identifies with Tim, Tim has... some negative traits. Tim can be a bitch sometimes. He’s fiercely intelligent and sweet and kind, with a strong sense of justice, but he can be cold and judgmental and unthinking - he fights those traits, but he does have them. 

And it is perfectly fine to depict Janet that way. I’ve enjoyed depictions of Cold Calculating Janet Drake, but it’s not the ONLY option, and I want to challenge fans to consider different avenues. Tim could pick up these traits from anywhere: a nanny, Mrs. Mc Ilvaine (”Mrs. Mac”), a teacher, tv, Sherlock Holmes novels, Bruce Wayne himself. Tim is capable of not being like EITHER parent. 

So, what do we KNOW about Janet? (I’ll also touch on Jack, but only in scenes he appears with Janet.) 

When Janet was first introduced she was depicted as a gentle but “modern” woman. This was written in 1989, told by a 13 year old Tim, so this theoretically was meant to take place in 1979. I’m not here to give a lecture on the history of sex discrimination in the united states, but much of the legislation protecting women in the workforce or surrounding women’s bodily autonomy would have been very very new in this initial depiction. 

Here, Janet is shown to be encouraging, emotional, maternal, and projects her own feelings onto Tim. Jack is shown to be slightly sexist, possibly discouraging, but not overbearing. And the artist is shown not to know how to draw children. 

To insert some speculation, I think it’s important to note all the Drakes witnessed a terrible murder/accident that day. I point this out, because this is the last time Jack and Janet are depicted this way. It’s possible they changed as a result of this event specifically. 

However, this is also a story being told by Tim. It’s also possible these events aren’t really “real” at all, and Tim is misremembering what his parents were like as a three-year-old, possibly projecting a more palatable version of his parents into the narrative. This is entirely up to personal interpretation. 

In fact, the Drakes are shown in Legend of the Dark Knight attending Haly’s Circus, and the artist knows what a toddler looks like and they’re depicted as already having a slightly strained relationship. Jack is clearly on the defensive, and Janet seems to be passive-aggressive, though she could just be attempting to explain the situation to her toddler honestly. The intended tone isn’t especially clear. 

I do want to point out, in this depiction, Tim isn’t being carried like he was in the previous one. He’s walking ahead of his parents, which isn’t a terrible horrible crime, but could be dangerous in a crowded place like the circus. Might be a subtle hint to his parents overall neglect. 

Back to A Lonely Place of Dying, in Tim’s memories of the night he discovered Robin and Dick Grayson were the same person at nine-years-old, his parents are home, and watching TV together while Tim played... trucks, idk, in the living room with them. (This is semi-interesting, because you could say “oh, Tim liked vehicle toys as a kid” or you could extrapolate that this is another subtle indication of Jack’s sexism, providing Tim with appropriately “boy toys.” Either interpretation is valid. If Tim was assigned female at birth, would they have been given “girl toys,” or allowed to play with whatever they wanted?) 

This is, to my knowledge, the only panel of the Drakes when Tim is between ages 3 and 13. They’re all together, which might indicate that the Drakes were home more often when Tim was 9, only later going on business trips when Tim was “old enough” but... 

This is Tim’s boarding school when he’s 13. While most boarding schools in the US are for grades 9-12, Tim is clearly not a freshman at age 13; look how much younger the other kids in this panel are. In the US, the youngest you can attend most boarding schools is 7. 

That means Tim could have begun going to boarding school anytime between 7 and 13. He most likely spent all of middle school in boarding school, at least. There are an almost infinite number of possible ways the Drakes handled having a business that required lots of international travel, an archeology hobby, AND a very young child. Janet staying home until Tim was 7, 11, 13, is equally possible as the Drakes having a nanny until 7, 11, 13. Tim just doesn’t talk about that period of his life very much.

(”What about Mrs. Mac?” - it is unclear when Mrs. Mac begins working for the Drakes. We only see her when Jack comes out of his coma. She could either be a long standing staff member, or a recent hire.) 

Note: I’ve seen it said that it’s canon that “According to Tim, when his parents were home, they made a point to try and include him in their activities, bringing him along to events that were normally adults only.” I have never seen this panel, or I don’t remember it, so I cannot confirm, but I also cannot debunk this because... comics. 

By the time Tim is 13, Jack and Janet are away on business trips a lot, with limited communication, and no firm return date. If I’m feeling generous, I’d say it was harder to communicate internationally in 1990 than it is today. If I’m not feeling generous, I’d say the Drakes are extremely wealthy, and international communication was easier than ever before in the 80s and 90s. They’re not even going home to see Tim in a week or two, they’re going home and calling Tim at boarding school in a week or two. 

Even Bruce thinks its weird, though he doesn’t say so to Tim’s face. It’s written almost as if Tim’s parents’ neglect was meant to be a plot point that just got forgotten about. 

Tim’s parents are fighting at this point (their poor assistant), but Janet still goes with Jack on these business trips. And she’s clearly involved in the business, somehow, but the comics never SAY what Janet’s JOB is. We’re told Jack is the exec, but Janet is ONLY ever referred to as Jack’s wife, though they’re later described as the “heads” of the company, plural. 

Just to be clear, this is Jack’s business. There’s a perception that Jack is a bad business man because he and Janet fight over company decisions, and Jack looses the business after Janet dies, but Jack looses the company YEARS after Janet dies, and maintains it for about a year after No Man’s Land at that. We’re not told how Jack looses the business, but he’s got to be doing something right. Janet isn’t necessarily the “real brains” of Drake Industries. 

And I’m not... gonna... touch the... exploitation and racism because... I’m not qualified to do that. But, here’s the panel. The Drakes sure seem exploitative and racist in their business decisions. Someone else can... analyze that with more nuance. 

Regardless how how long they’ve been fighting, when their lives are in danger, the Drakes fall back into a loving husband and wife. Their marriage may be falling apart, but they do care about each other. 

I want to show these panels because it shows that Tim and Jack do have things in common. They’re both level headed in a crisis and can be somewhat cold in their practicality. Janet meanwhile and silent. Jack is later willing rant and rave at their captors, but Janet remains silent. 

That is, until they’re alone, and she finally lets herself fall apart. 

God, Jack can be obnoxious. Janet just looks miserable and resigned. I actually think Tim takes after his parents in this respect in equal measure. Tim can have a temper, but he can also be fairly melancholy and defeatist. 

Jack keeps reminding Janet to be strong and in control, which could be period typical sexism? But Jack seems so practiced and ready with the words of encouragement, and with Tim’s history with depression, I wonder if Janet has an inclination towards it as well. 

As the end approaches, when Jack brings up Tim, Janet seems to have a lot of regret. She talks about “wasting” the good things, and I don’t think it’s too big of a stretch to assume she’s talking about time spent with her only child. 

From this point on, Janet is at times spoken of, but not seen. Like here, when Jack says Janet wouldn’t approve of him and Tim being so “far apart.” He says this after he tells him he takes back his threat to send him back to boarding school, which might imply Janet was against the idea of boarding school? Though she obviously lost that argument when she was alive. 

Jack will of course renege on this later, but that’s Jack Drake for you. 

Or here in Tim’s illness induced dream, where he gets everything he wants. Though, since this is a fantasy of Tim’s, where his father and girlfriend are both more accepting and understanding than they are in real life, I would take this depiction of Janet with a grain of salt. 

After loosing Drake Industries, Jack thinks about Janet (though, they call her Catherine/Cathy for some fucking reason) during his depressive episode. And... uh... 

Hallucinates a Valkyrie???? Is this symbolic of suicidal thoughts, or is she... real? Or is he seriously hallucinating? 

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss Jack’s mental state, the fact that he forgot Tim’s birthday, or that concerning “I was going to knock some sense into you but you’re still bigger than me” statement from Tim, we’re here to talk about Janet. And even though this entire arc is about Jack mourning his first wife, they don’t SAY anything about Janet herself at all. I mean, they don’t even get her name right, so I guess what was I expecting. 

Then there’s Origins and Omens, which also doesn’t say anything about Janet, except that Tim’s memory of her is faulty - Janet was poisoned, her assistant Jeremy’s throat was slit on television, but Tim seems to have conflated the death he did see with the death he didn’t. 

The only piece of canon to suggest that Janet might be cold, is Tim compares her to Thalia. And even then, he’s really just saying Janet was protective of him. It’s kind of a scary look to make at your kid, but Bruce does the same thing, so. 

I do want to say... it’s not 100% clear if Tim is even talking about Janet. He could be talking about Dana. Dana was observably protective of Tim, though I don’t think he’s ever called her mom. He PROBABLY means Janet. 

And finally we have Tim visiting his mother’s grave (in a duel Christian/Jewish cemetery, make of that what you will), where Tim says she was “a little religious.”

And that’s it! That is all we know about Janet Drake in New Earth. Hardly the Mom From Hell, but she isn’t perfect. I’d be interested in seeing some alternate depictions of her within the fandom. 

I’m still gonna eat up Terrible Parents From Hell like a starving puppy dog, though. Just some food for creative thought. 

[mint-yooxgi]

Gilded Gold - Yandere!Vampire Prince!Jaehyun X Reader

Yandere AU, Vampire AU, & Prince AU

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Smut (Someone goes a little feral at the end there)

Pairing: Jaehyun X Reader

Words: 22,845

Warnings: Jaehyun is pretty sadistic and manipulative in this one, as such there is a lot of violence and gore mentioned. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: It’s finally here! Omg, after months (again) of nothing, I'm really happy with the length of this one and how it turned out. Certain scenes are really good in my opinion, so hopefully you enjoy reading them just as much as I enjoyed writing them. I’ve nearly had this idea planned out for almost a year, so I'm happy that I've finally finished writing it all out. Tbh, certain scenes are pretty self indulgent... Anyways, I do really hope you enjoy this one, please do let me know what you think! Feedback is always appreciated!

“Is everything prepped and ready for tomorrow?” He asks, expression stern as he looks towards his adviser. 

“Yes, my Prince,” with a nod from the adviser, a smirk begins to slowly spread itself across Jaehyun’s lips.

“Perfect,” a dark look takes over his features, smirk now fully formed as he thinks over his plan once more.

Tomorrow will change everything, and he can hardly wait. For too long he’s waited, watching in the shadows until this day would come. Until finally, he can have everything that he’s ever wanted. Tomorrow, he’ll finally have you.

From the first moment he saw you all those months ago, he knew he had to have you. The way you so willingly went out of your way to help your neighbours with their little market stand only confirmed to Jaehyun that you’re a kindhearted individual. However, if it weren’t for the way you cussed out an older man for attempting to hit on your younger sister, he would have assumed you to be too soft. That is what intrigued him: that you could look so innocent on the outside, but on the inside, contain a strong, level-head, is what drew him to you.

Since then, he’s been sneaking out of the castle at least five times a week to find you, and once he did, he couldn’t stop himself from simply observing you. He became another shadow in the night, and you were none the wiser as to the monster lurking just outside of your window.

The day he learnt that you had no potential suitors, he swears he had never been happier in all his long years of living. It took him a bit of persuading, but he eventually convinced his mother to let himself actively pursue you. She was a bit wary at first, having never met you, nor even having heard of you before. The fact that you’re a mere human, and a commoner, no less, concerned her greatly. However, he made sure to take care of everything before your arrival. After all, you’re his responsibility now, and he’ll make sure to take care of you in any and every way that he can. 

Soon, the whole kingdom will know that you are meant to be his, the Crown Prince’s very own betrothed. The announcement might turn some heads, considering everyone is aware of the vampire society, and how the creatures of the night reign over them, but he’s counting on the support from those whom support interspecies relationships. It will be a huge step in a positive direction for his family to bring a common human into their inner circle. Not that you would have a choice, whether you know it or not.

That night, he barely gets any rest, too excited for what is to come tomorrow. He has it all planned out, the outfit he’s going to wear, how he’s going to make a grand entrance when meeting you for the first time, as well as the first thing he’s going to say to you once he sees you. 

His eyes flash red. Fuck, he finally gets to see you in person with you actually aware of his presence this time. Oh, how he can hardly wait to see your reaction when you gaze upon him for the first time. A smirk slowly tugs at his lips as he envisions the scene in his head, your awestruck face, the wonder shining in your eyes, and the way you’ll bite your lip as you take him in with the realization that he’s all yours.

Tomorrow cannot come fast enough.

That next morning you are awoken by the sound of your mother answering the front door. Muffled voices reach your ears as you bury yourself deeper into the warmth of your comforter. The sound of your door creaking has your eyes flinging open as your mother storms into your room.

“Get up! There’s a royal advisor at our front door asking for you, personally,” she tears your blankets off of you before moving over to your dresser to pull out some of your nicest clothes. “Apparently he has a message from the Prince. For you.”

“For me?” Your head is reeling at the thought of a royal advisor visiting you with a personal message from the Prince himself. What would the Prince want with you? You have no idea.

“Yes, you,” your mother tuts at your confused look as you clamber out of bed. “Now hurry up and get dressed. Don’t keep him waiting.”

Without another word, your mother leaves your room, heading back downstairs so as not to keep the advisor alone for too long. She would have made your sister keep him company, but she had to go to work this morning.

Squinting at your now closed door, you shift your gaze over to the outfit she has so meticulously picked out for you to wear. The clothes are quite literally the nicest ones you own, and your frown deepens. What message could possibly warrant you wearing your nicest clothes?

Yawning, you rub at the sleep still in your eyes. Screw formalities, it’s just a message, it can’t be that serious. Forgoing the outfit, you quickly head to the bathroom to freshen up and at least make yourself look presentable. No matter what this message turns out to be, you’re going to hop right back into bed afterwards anyways, so you see no point in getting dressed.

Making your way downstairs, you hear soft chatter coming from the front room, and as soon as you enter you can feel your mother’s scrutinizing gaze on you for not changing. You briefly make eye contact with her before turning your attention to the unfamiliar man standing across from her. You can already tell from his proper stature and from the royal emblem hanging proudly on the left side of his uniform that he’s the advisor.

“Ah, good, you must be Miss (Y/n), it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he bows to you. “My name is Minho, and I come bearing a message from Prince Jaehyun himself.”

You bow back respectfully, nodding for him to continue as your mother smiles almost nervously from the side of the room.

“You are to be moved to the castle immediately,” he says as your eyes go wide. “You are to be betrothed to Prince Jaehyun effective immediately.”

“Excuse me?” Your jaw has dropped, disbelief clear on your face.

“You are to be moved-“

“No, no, I heard you,” you cut him off, “I meant, what the actual fuck?”

“(Y/n)!” Your mother scolds.

“What? You’re telling me that this completely unprompted visit is to tell me I am to become the prince’s fiancée without any say in the matter?” You ask, incredulously.

“I apologize, I should have been clearer,” Minho clears his throat. “You do get a choice, as it is the Prince’s intention to court you first. However, in doing so, it requires you to come stay at the palace for the time being.”

“I-“ your mouth gapes like a fish out of water, “do I have a choice in this?”

“Of course!” Minho immediately responds. “I understand this is very sudden, and probably very confusing, but the Prince promised to explain everything once you have arrived to the palace for the day. We really shouldn’t keep him waiting too long.”

“I-“ you’re about to object once more when your mother cuts you off.

“Go with him, sweetie,” you frown at the look she’s giving you. You don’t think you’ve ever heard her voice sound so tense, completely different to how she looked when she first entered your room not ten minutes ago. “He told me you would have to leave immediately, so I’ll send a few bags with your stuff later this week.”

“But mom-“

“No buts,” she smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and the Prince chose you, no less. Please be on your best behaviour.”

“Great, then it’s settled!” Minho smiles, beginning to exit the room in order to walk towards the front door. He places a hand at the small of your back and guides you along with him, with you too stunned to say much else. “Thank you for your hospitality,” he bows to your mother once at the door, “we’ll be in touch.”

With those words, he is leading you out of the front and to the car that awaits at the end of the driveway. By now, a few of your neighbours have stepped outside their homes to view what is going on, and you can see them whispering to themselves as you are ushered into the back seat. You only wish you got to say goodbye to your sister before you had to leave.

“Guess leaving is so urgent that I can’t change out of my pyjamas, huh?” You joke, a hint of seriousness to your tone as you cross your arms. 

Minho soon slides into the front seat beside the driver whom has been waiting in the car this whole time.

“I’m afraid not, Miss,” he replies, pulling out his phone. “We’re on a tight schedule today.”

You sigh, leaning your head on your hand as you look out of the window. You see more neighbours watching the car go down the road as you drive off, and you begin to wonder how you even got into this mess. Though you will admit, a part of you is intrigued. To catch the eye of the Prince, the Vampire Prince, no less, is causing your heart to race. 

You’ve seen a few photos of the Prince before in passing, and he does look very handsome, so a part of you is curious to see if that’s actually true. Another part of you feels excitement at the thought of being sought after by the prince himself. Maybe that’s why you’re not putting up more of a fuss at this matter. A sigh escapes your lips at the thought, and you begin to wonder what exactly is in store for you once you arrive at the castle.

About forty-five minutes later, you arrive at the palace. Your breath is quite literally stolen away as you gaze upon the fortress in awe, taking in the arches and crevices in the architecture, along with its massive size.

“If you think the outside is grand, just wait until you see the inside,” Minho chuckles, noting your gaze of wonderment.

His words manage to pull you out of your admiration of the palace and back to the steps in front of you which lead up to the front doors. Shaking your head slightly, you clear your thoughts. You’re sure you’ll have plenty of time to admire and explore the castle once you get settled inside.

“So, uh…“ you trail off, following Minho up the steps, not knowing what to ask first.

“I’ll be leading you to your personal chambers while you’re going to be staying here, then some servants will be coming to prepare you for lunch with the Prince,” Minho explains, and you nod along absentmindedly, still too distracted by the grand stonework of the building, of which is much more intricate on the inside. “I’m sure His Royal Highness would gladly take you on a tour of the premisses, given how intrigued you seem to be by the grounds already.”

At this you can feel your face heat up in slight embarrassment, “sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologize, Miss,” Minho smiles at you assuringly. “It’s quite nice to see someone admiring the architecture once more.”

“What do you mean?” You tilt your head slightly in curiosity.

“Oh, it’s just been quite a while since we’ve had a new guest who’s admired the detailing as you are,” he says.

“Must not get many new guests then,” you mutter, but he still manages to hear you.

“No, not really,” he sighs, eyes soon going wide as he’s come to realize what he’s just said, clearing his throat in the next moment. “I mean, I’ve said enough already.”

You simply hum in response as he leads you through some side corridors and up another set of stairs. You can feel your legs burning at the amount of flights you’ve climbed, not used to the amount of steps yet. Once you reach the tops of the stairs, you find yourself resting your hands on your knees in order to catch you breath.

“One second,” you hold up a finger, indicating to Minho to stop and let you catch your breath.

“Alright, but we really mustn’t delay, Miss,” he says, worry flashing briefly in his eyes, but it passes so quickly that you do not see it.

After a few moments, you right yourself, taking a deep breath before nodding at him to continue. He nearly breathes a sigh of relief as he continues to lead you down the hallway you’re now in, checking his watch on the way and noticing he’ll make it just in time. It’s important for everything to go according to schedule today, or so the Prince has reminded him countless times, along with the other staff. Everything has to be perfect.

Leading you to a set of doors near the end of the hallway, Minho pushes them both open to reveal a large room full of everything you could possibly think of. You’re pretty sure this room is the size of your entire main floor of your house, complete with a four post king sized bed, privacy screen which looks like it leads to another part of the room, along with various shelves, desks, and cabinets spread throughout. To say you are awestruck would be an understatement.

You take your time wandering around the room, opening one of the side doors to find an adjacent bathroom built for the gods. A large tub rests on one side, along with a set of double sinks, a large mirror that takes up the entire wall, along with a huge shower which you believe also works as a sauna. You are hardly able to believe what you’re seeing, this is all so unbelievable. To think, your lifestyle quite literally has changed in the blink of an eye. 

Now, if only you could see what rests behind the privacy screen. You’ve avoided opening the doors so far due to the fact that you’re unsure what’s waiting for you on the other side. In the back of your mind, you hope it’s not another room. More particularly, that it’s not the Prince’s room.

The whole time that you spend exploring your new room, Jaehyun stands just off to the side beside the privacy screen where you cannot see him. A smirk is ever present on his face. He could smell your scent getting closer with every step you took down the hallway, only serving to make his dead heart race in his chest. He cannot help how his mouth salivates at the thought of you now only being one room away, nothing more than a thin set of doors standing between your bodies. He can hardly wait to meet you.

After a few more moments of you taking in your new room, you turn to look at Minho, “so, uh, am I allowed to see what’s behind those privacy doors,” you motion to them with your head, “or is that part off-limits?”

Your attempt at a joke earns a small chuckle from him, “actually, I believe the Prince should be joining us soon.”

“Is that the Prince’s room?” Your eyes widen as your suspicion is all but confirmed. You know you’re expected to become close with him, but you aren’t expecting to be literally sharing a room.

“Oh, no!” Minho is quick to answer, to which you breathe a small sigh of relief. “I believe His Highness went to inspect the second portion of your room earlier, before your arrival, in order to make sure everything is up to his standards.”

“Ah, I see,” you nod in understanding. “Glad to know he’s taking such precautions for me.”

Of course! He wants nothing but the best for you, after all. It’s what you deserve. Jaehyun’s smirk only grows, and he takes your words as his cue to finally make his presence known, and finally enter the room.

Ever so slowly, you notice a shadow forming behind the semi-transparent screen. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, racing at the prospect of finally being able to meet the Prince in person. Little do you know, that this is not the first time that the Prince will be seeing you.

Just like a scene from a movie, the doors part, Prince Jaehyun stepping through the threshold. His gaze lingers on the ground briefly before finally looking upwards to lock gazes with you. Your breath hitches, and you can feel your heart skipping a beat, all of which does not go unheard by Jaehyun, only serving to make him more smug during this time. Besides, the smirk resting on his features only adds to his charming good looks as he takes a confident step forwards, slowly making his way over to you.

The whole time, your eyes never leave his. Again, to say you’re stunned would be an understatement. You don’t think you’ve ever seen a finer looking specimen in your entire life, and from the looks of things, he can read your expression like an open book. 

For a brief moment, your gaze rakes over his entire body, and you have to stop yourself from inhaling sharply once more. He’s wearing the finest embroidered suit that you’ve ever seen in your life, the sharp gold thread contrasting with the black fabric. You know the suit must have cost a fortune, just from the design alone, not to mention the materials. The detailing of the floral design, combined with the surrounding leaves is stunning, but what catches your attention the most is the fact that he’s not wearing a shirt beneath the suit jacket. You can see the smooth skin of his chest on display, only serving to make you lick your lips in admiration, anticipation lingering in your chest. For what, you aren’t quite sure, but fuck, you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t think he was extremely attractive.

His chest swells with pride. He knew you would react like this, only confirming to him that you also find him as attractive as he finds you. Well, considering all the peasants you had to endure back in your hometown, he’s not surprised. As if any of them ever stood a chance with you. Well, not if he had anything to say about it.

So far, everything is going exactly how he has planned it to, and he couldn’t be more happier in this moment. Minho was on time and everything, though Jaehyun worried at one point that you were running behind schedule. He cannot let that happen, everything needs to run like clockwork in order for things to be perfect.

The one thing that he wishes more than anything that he could do right now would be to take you into his arms, but he knows that would be overstepping boundaries at the moment. The last thing he wants to do is scare you off on the first day. After all, since you’re going to be spending eternity together, he doesn’t want to push you away now.

You don’t mean to stare as you have been, but you cannot help it. With wide eyes and slightly parted lips, you continue to stand there, almost dumbfounded by the current events. By now, you are most certainly regretting not listening to your mother to change into your nicest clothes. Meeting the Prince while still in your pyjamas is making you feel a bit self-conscious. How embarrassing, to meet him while you’re still in your sleep clothes.

On the other hand, Jaehyun thinks that it’s so endearing that you’re still dressed in your pyjamas. Were you that excited to meet him that you couldn’t even wait to leave, meaning you forwent changing? How adorable.

“Miss (Y/n), may I formally introduce you to Prince-“

“Jung Jaehyun,” he cuts Minho off, taking your hand into his own in order to bring it to his lips and kiss the back of it tenderly. Oh, how soft your skin feels against his own. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Introducing yourself, your voice is a bit airy, still breathless due to everything that you’ve encountered so far. You’re especially impressed with the way he’s held himself, “the pleasure is all mine, Your Highness.”

“Please,” he smiles, running his thumb over the skin on the back of your hand before releasing his hold on you and returning his hands to his sides, “call me Jaehyun.”

You smile back politely, thoughts running through your head a mile a minute. All the while, your nerves begin to grow, and you begin to ponder why exactly it was you that he chose. You don’t necessarily think you’re anything special, but Jaehyun would beg to differ.

“Um, I was told that we were going to be dining soon?” You ask, shifting slightly from foot to foot as you attempt to break the small silence that has settled over the three of you. You figure Minho is probably avoiding saying anything right now out of respect for you and the Prince.

“Ah, yes,” Jaehyun nods once in confirmation. “That is, if you’re willing to join me for lunch. Of course, I’ll let you change first, unless you’d prefer to stay in those.”

At the motion of his head towards your choice in outfit, you can feel your cheeks heating up once more in embarrassment.

“Oh, uh…” you avoid his gaze for the first time today, and he can’t help but be reminded of how cute you are as you add quietly, “I don’t have anything else to wear.”

He simply quirks a brow in response, “has Minho not shown you your wardrobe yet?”

“No, I-“ you smile sheepishly, “I didn’t get a chance to pack any of my own clothes before I left. I mean, I didn’t even have a chance to change.”

He chuckles this time in response, “come with me, Princess.”

You cannot deny the way your heart positively flutters when he calls you that. A fact which only makes him smile subtly. You haven’t even known him for more than fifteen minutes and he already sets your heart racing. A fact which only serves to stroke his ego even further. This is going even better than anything he could have ever planned.

Leading you over to a side door that resides in the second half of your room, of which you notice is a lavish seating area complete with a chaise, he opens it. A grandiose closet is revealed to you, filled with the most lavish pieces of clothing you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Dresses, shirts, skirts, you name it, line the shelves. Rows upon rows of accessories cause your eyes to widen even further than they already have. You cannot help the surprised gasp that escapes your lips as you take it all in.

“Is this-“ you blink, attempting to wrap your head around everything as you try to get the words out, “is this-“

“It’s all for you, Princess,” Jaehyun smiles at your wide eyed expression.

“I-“ you turn to him, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he assures you.

“Honestly, I’m torn,” you bite your lip nervously.

He simply quirks a brow at you to continue, despite the fact a frown wants to pull onto his features.

“I’m torn between ‘I can’t accept this’, and ‘thank you so much’,” you admit, and you hear him chuckle once more. Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice Minho tense.

“Always so humble,” he hums. “Don’t worry about it, it’s a gift.”

“I-“ you take a deep breath, “thank you.”

He smiles, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants, “just promise me that you’ll use it.”

You notice how he motions to the closet with his head, and you immediately nod, “of course.”

“Good,” he nods once. “Well, I’ll let you get ready. Maria and Greta should be arriving soon to prepare you for lunch.”

As soon as he finishes speaking, a soft knock sounds at your bedroom door, signifying the arrival of the two aforementioned women. He could hear them walking down the hallway and figured now would be as good a time as ever to take his leave, even if it will be momentarily.

“I’ll see you soon, Princess,” with those words, he walks out of your room. 

The two women whom have been patiently waiting in the hallway to come in now step inside as Minho steps out of the room following Jaehyun. You notice that they look somewhat nervous, approaching you carefully as if you’re someone to be cautious of. You send them a reassuring smile, introducing yourself shortly after.

“It’s nice to finally meet the woman the Prince has been talking non-stop about,” Maria admits, seeming to relax more now that you’ve talked to the two of them.

“Maria,” Greta hisses while elbowing her partner. Your brow furrows, it seems as if they’re not allowed to talk about that in front of you.

“He’s talked about me?” You question as they move you into the closet to pick out an outfit for the day.

“Oh yes,” Maria nods. “He’s been very… excited for you to come visit the palace.”

“I won’t warn you again,” Greta narrows her eyes at Maria disapprovingly.

“Am I not allowed to ask about it then?” You frown.

“Oh, you can ask any and all the questions you’d like,” Greta answers, pulling a simple gown down from the racks. “We’re just not supposed to talk about certain things.”

“Like the Prince?”

“Listen dearie,” Greta sighs. “If you knew what’s best for you, you’d run, and run far.”

Her words only serve to confuse you even more, especially at the nervous expression Maria now wears on her face.

“Is there something I should know?” You ask as they help you into the dress.

“Don’t listen to Greta, dear,” Maria pats your arm gently once the dress is secure. “The Prince is a wonderful gentleman, and from the looks of things, he’s completely smitten with you.”

“But he hardly even knows me,” you mumble as they start to work on your hair.

“He knows you better than you think,” Greta’s voice is barely above a whisper. In fact, it’s so faint, you don’t catch all of what she says.

“Pardon me?” You catch her gaze in the mirror they have you sitting in front of now.

“All the more reason for you to get to know him better,” she corrects herself with a smile, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Maria manages to change the subject shortly after by asking you questions about yourself, and her telling you small stories about her life. The two of you are able to connect well quickly, and you know that if she continues to look after you while you’re here, you will have a friend in her. Greta, on the other hand, you’re not so sure about.

Not only does she continuously look at you with worry in her eyes, she scolds Maria any time she thinks Maria has overstepped any sort of boundary. The amount of times Maria has begun to tell you about the Prince, only for her to be cut off by Greta soon after is astounding. Hopefully you can get some answers from the Prince himself. After all, you are going to lunch together.

“There, all finished,” Maria smiles warmly at you as she helps you stand up.

“Thank you,” you smile back, smoothing out the front of your gown subconsciously.

“Come now,” Greta says, checking her watch, “or else we’ll be late.”

“Oh dear, we wouldn’t want that,” Maria suddenly looks worried. “We’ll lead you to the dining room. His Highness should already be waiting.”

“I guess I shouldn’t keep him waiting, then,” you joke as you three move to exit the room.

You fail to notice the brief glance the two of them share as Greta says, “no, you really shouldn’t.”

Without another word, you all make your way down the hallway, them leading you to where Jaehyun has instructed them to meet him. As he hears you approaching, a small smile tugs at his lips. He can’t wait to start his forever with you, and today is day one.

“Ready for lunch?” He asks, turning around just as you walk up to him.

You nod, humming your eagerness. You can’t wait to see what they decide to serve to eat, you are in a palace after all. Besides, the company is wonderful so far, and you really want to get to know him better.

Lunch with Jaehyun passes by far too quickly for either of your likings, and before you know it, you’re both finished. To say that you enjoy your time with him would be an understatement. Not only was the food delicious, but you also got to do what you wanted and get to know him better. One thing you know for sure, is that he has a beautiful smile, of which you hope to see more of. Plus, he’s got the cutest dimples you’ve ever seen.

After lunch, he gives you a tour of the castle, and once again, your breath is stolen from your lungs. The whole time you spend admiring the architecture, Jaehyun spends admiring you. His dead heart races in his chest every time he looks over to see that awestruck expression on your face. You’re so beautiful, and the fact that you’re admiring everything he shows you so far, along with how grateful you’ve been towards him, assures him that he’s made the best choice in choosing you as his fiancée.

Every so often, his hand will brush against your own as he walks with you through the castle. You cannot help the rush you feel each time he does this, his touch both innocent and teasing at the same time. Each brush only makes a subtle smirk pull at his own lips, knowing he already has such an effect on you.

All too soon, the afternoon comes to an end and he’s leading you back to your room for the evening. He’s told you that you’ll more than likely be meeting his mother tomorrow, so you should get as much rest as you can, considering how hectic the day has been for you.

“If you ever need me, I’m just down the hallway to your left,” he tells you, of which you find yourself nodding in response. “If an emergency ever arises, come and get me. No matter the time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you say, lips twitching upwards in a half smile. “Thanks.”

“Of course,” he returns your smile. “I’ll always be here for you.”

By now, the two of you have stopped just outside of your bedroom door. You stare deeply into his eyes, and you can see the sincerity reflected in them. Your lips part slightly as you take a small step backwards as he continues to stare intensely at you, almost as if he’s in a daze.

Before you know it, he’s blinking as if to clear his head while clearing his throat, “well, I’ve got a few things to attend to before dinner. I’ll have someone bring you something to eat for then. In the meantime, feel free to do whatever you’d like, just let Maria know where you’ll be.”

“Sounds good,” you smile once more.

“See you later, Princess,” he grins, grabbing your hand in order to place a gentle kiss onto the back of it, successfully making your face warm. Without another word, he takes his leave. 

Watching his figure disappear down the hallway, you let out a blissful sigh. Lunch was enjoyable, and you can’t wait to see what else he has in store for you. Not only that, but you can’t wait to further explore the castle and find your favourite spots. Hopefully you can find a little nook to read some of the books from the massive library that caught your eye while you explored with Jaehyun.

Entering your room, you bite your lip. The only thing you’re particularly nervous about would be meeting his mother. Based off of what he’s told you about her so far, she can be very picky about mannerisms, and it can be difficult for anyone new to impress her. Maybe that’s what Minho meant by no one new has come to the palace for a long time. You just hope you can make a good impression, or at least good enough for her to at least tolerate you. After all, if you’re to marry her son, having her like you would be a huge success.

“You okay there?” Maria’s voice manages to pull you out of your own thoughts.

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” you reply absentmindedly, walking further into the room as the door falls shut. Your brow furrows slightly as you notice Greta isn’t with her this time. “Where’s Greta?”

Maria stiffens ever so slightly, “she has this afternoon and evening off.”

“Ah, makes sense,” you nod, moving to sit on your bed.

“Is there anything I can get for you, Miss?” She asks politely.

“Not at the moment, thank you,” you shoot her a grateful smile. “I think I might just nap, I am a bit sleepy.”

“Alright, well, I’ll help you change,” 

“No need, I can do it myself,”

“No, please, I insist,” she’s already begun to move around your room and grabs a fresh set of clothes for you to change into. “After all, it’s what I’m here for.”

“Well, okay,” you sigh softly, allowing Maria to help you change.

Once done, the two of you just sit together in your room talking about anything and everything. She tells you that her family has always served the Jung’s for as long as she can remember, but she doesn’t mind it here. Apparently, the job pays really well, and they get ample time off.

Before you know it, there is a knock on your door and another servant is there holding a tray for you piled high with plates containing your evening meal. You thank them and move to take the tray from their hands, but they insist on putting it down for you. They set everything up for you on the table in your room before bowing respectively and leaving you to your own with Maria still patiently standing off to the side.

Sitting back down, your eyes rake over the food now resting in front of you. This is one of your favourite meals, but Jaehyun couldn’t possibly know that. Could he?

“The Prince made special preparations for you before you came,” Maria says, noticing your stare.

“This is my favourite dish,” you comment.

“I take it everything is to your liking, then?” She smiles.

“Of course, but I still don’t understand how he knows this is my favourite dish,” you say.

“If I’m not mistaken, I believe he was informed by your mother,”

“He’s talked with my mom?” Your eyes widen slightly in surprise.

“Oh, I mean, Minho was told by your mother, who in turn told Prince Jaehyun when he got back to the palace today,” Maria is quick to correct herself.

“Ah, I see,” you turn back to the food spread out in front of you. “Oh my! Where are my manners? Would you like anything?”

Maria almost looks caught off guard by your offer of sharing your food with her, “oh, no, thank you! I couldn’t.”

“Nonsense,” you shake your head, pushing one of the many side dishes over to her. “I don’t like eating alone, anyways.”

“Are you sure?” Her voice is hesitant, gnawing her bottom lip in worry.

“Of course,” you confirm. “I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.”

“Thank you, Miss,” she graciously accepts the dish, grabbing a set of utensils to join you in eating.

You simply smile at her in response, happy to be sharing your favourite meal with someone else. Her presence brings you comfort in this still unfamiliar place, of which you know will take some getting used to, despite the tour you took today. After all, you are alone, and far from home.

Meanwhile, Jaehyun paces in his study. He sent Minho to gather Greta for him just before you came to meet him downstairs for lunch that day. He overheard what she told you, and to say he was not impressed would be an understatement. Is she trying to make him look bad in front of you? No matter, he’ll dispose of the problem soon enough.

“Minho, I still don’t understand what’s going on-“ Greta’s voice gets caught in her throat once she is escorted inside the study to see Jaehyun now leaning against his desk with his arms crossed.

“Your Highness,” she bows respectively. “How may I be of service to you?”

“I have a favour to ask of you, Greta,” the way he says her name sends a shiver of fear running down her spine: full of venom and malice.

“Y-yes, sir, what is it?” Her blood is rushing through her. She’s heard of the Prince’s famous glare but never having been on the receiving end, there’s nothing that could have prepared her for the look of bloodlust in his eyes that came about so suddenly.

“I want you to run, Greta,” he pushes himself off the edge the desk, staring directly into her eyes, “and run far.”

A gasp escapes her lips. He heard.

“Well?” He hums, tauntingly, amusement shining in his eyes as he stares at her now trembling form. “What are you waiting for? That’s an order.”

With a shaky nod from her, she’s bustling out of the room and down the hallway. He can still hear the sound of her racing heart even after she makes it to the floor below him.

The malicious grin never leaves his lips as he begins to make his way out of his study. Currently, he is a predator stalking their prey. This’ll be fun, he hasn’t had to chase his prey in a while, and he cannot wait to tear into her throat. How dare she even suggest that you run from him. He would never hurt you. 

Anyone else, on the other hand? Fair game.

“Are you really sure this is necessary, my Prince?” Minho nervously watches Jaehyun as he passes through the doorway into the hall.

“Of course,” Jaehyun smiles, but it only serves to unnerve Minho as Jaehyun’s eyes flash red in the next moment. “She nearly lost me what is mine.”

In the blink of an eye, Jaehyun is gone from his sight, and Minho can only breathe a sigh of relief that he’s left unharmed this evening. Once Jaehyun sets his mind to something, there is no changing it. No one can stop him when he’s on a warpath, and Minho is just glad that he isn’t on the receiving end of one of the Prince’s violent episodes.

It takes Jaehyun mere seconds to catch up with Greta, who has been able to make it into the grand foyer before the main doors. He slams her against the wall, hearing a few of her bones fracture due to the impact. Her whimpers and pleas for her own life fall on deaf ears, even as more servants shuffle passed. They all know not to get involved, lest they want to suffer the same fate as Greta. Too many have learned that the hard way.

The last thing she sees is Jaehyun’s malicious smirk, fangs on full display as he tears into her throat. Once he’s sure she’s dead, he tosses her body aside, letting the blood spill over the floor. He spits the chunk of her neck he has in his mouth onto her body, a look of pure disgust on his face as he glares down at her corpse.

“Somebody clean this mess up,” he snarls out as he turns his back to her body. The others are frozen in fear, but his growl manages to have a few snapping immediately to their senses and rushing over to Greta’s dead body. “Now!”

He doesn’t stick around to see if they remove her or not, opting to head straight to his room for the evening. He wants to see you again, but he knows that it might be too soon. Besides, with his emotions heightened at the moment, he would potentially be putting you in danger. At least he’ll still be able to smell your scent, and hear whatever it is that you’re doing. That’s enough for him, for now.

A smile tugs at his lips as he faintly hears you conversing with Maria about something that happened to you during your childhood. He knew placing Maria with you as your personal assistant would be a good idea. Greta was his mother’s choice, and he had a feeling she was going to be nothing but a nuisance for him. Nothing is going to get in his way of winning your heart. Nothing. Everything has to go according to plan.

The following morning, he does a brief check of the front foyer to make sure everything has been cleaned properly, and that nothing remains of the events of that previous evening. The last thing he wants is for you to see something like that. Seeing that it’s been cleared of any evidence, he smiles, making his way back upstairs to finally greet you for the day.

To be quite honest, he is a little nervous himself for you to meet his mother. She didn’t exactly approve of him essentially stalking you, what he just calls taking a keen interest in making sure you’re doing alright. If Greta was any indication of how his mother will act, he knows she’ll probably devise a plan to take you away from him, or worse, make you afraid of him. After all, she knows exactly how her son can be.

Knocking gently on your door, he can hear your soft footfalls as you walk closer to him. He can’t wait to see you, and when you open the door to reveal yourself he most certainly is not disappointed with what he sees. How you look more beautiful every time he sees you is a mystery to him. One thing he knows for sure though, is that you’ve enchanted him since the moment he first laid eyes on you.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he smiles, noticing how you react positively to his words.

“Good morning,” you greet back politely, a small smile gracing your own features.

“Did you sleep well?” He asks, noticing Maria has already remade your bed.

“Quite,” you nod, smile only widening as you look at him. “Did you?”

“I did indeed,” he hums in response, though he would have slept better if you were in his arms. “Are you ready for today?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you let out a nervous chuckle as you step into the hallway, closing the door gently behind you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be with you the whole time,” he assures you, extending his arm out for you to loop yours with his. “Let’s get going.”

“Yes, let’s,” you hum back, taking his arm as you begin to walk down the hallway. “Any advice for me before we meet you mother?”

“Just be your usual charming self, and I’m sure you’ll be fine,” he squeezes your arm slightly, causing you to look over to already see him smiling at you.

You say nothing but choose to nod in understanding. You just hope your usual charming self doesn’t do or say anything that might embarrass you.

The two of you make idle chat as you make your way to the throne room to meet his mother. He manages to make you laugh, loosening your tense shoulders slightly as you relax the more he’s able to distract you. The whole time, he observes you fondly, glad to know that he can ease your nerves slightly, even if you’ve only officially known each other for a day. If only he could help you to relax in any and every other way he knows how.

All too soon, you’ve arrived just outside the doors to the throne room. Minho already stands waiting outside the grand set of double doors for the two of you, announcing your arrival to the queen as the doors part for you to walk through. 

Your heart races in your chest, nerves momentarily returning as you’re faced with the task at hand. This is one of the most important moments in your mind, for if his mother doesn’t approve of you, you do not know what will happen. That being said, you want to make sure to make the best impression you can on his mother, no matter what happens.

Walking into the room, you see his mother already sitting on her throne, watching the two of you as you approach where she is seated. Her gaze is scrutinizing, though it seems as if she’s watching he son more closely than she’s watching you. A fact which confuses you slightly since you would have assumed she would be more interested in how you hold yourself around her son rather than how her son holds himself around you. However this may be, you’re only grateful for the momentary relief you feel as you finally stop just before her throne.

“Mother, I’d like to formally introduce you to the woman whom I’d like to become my betrothed,” Jaehyun introduces you, telling her your name shortly after.

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Your Majesty,” you say, bowing politely in introduction to the queen.

“Please, Your Majesty sounds so formal,” the queen waves her hand slightly in the air as if dismissing the remark before leaning forwards slightly in her throne, “call me Cathy.”

“Huh,” you muse, “like mother, like son.”

“Oh?” Cathy’s amusement is clear on her face as she looks from Jaehyun over to you.

“Yes,” you confirm. “It seems not liking titles runs in the family. Jaehyun’s also told me to call him by his name instead of his title.”

“Has he now?” Cathy leans back, eyeing her son suspiciously. That’s very unlike her son, as he only ever allows people to call him by his title, no matter who they may be. You must be important to him then, a fact which only causes her worry for you to grow. None of her son’s other playthings ever got to address him by his first name. “And has he been treating you alright so far?”

Jaehyun’s eyes narrow ever so subtly at his mother, for he knows what game she’s playing. Like hell she’ll catch him slipping up.

“He’s been nothing but a gentleman since I’ve arrived,” you respond, and if your words don’t fill his chest with pride, nothing else will. He can hardly wait for you to see what else he has in store for you.

“I see,” she hums, placing her hands gracefully in her lap.

“I’d also just like to thank you very much for your hospitality, and for letting me stay at the palace during this time,” you bow deeply once more. “Thank you.”

“Of course, sweetie,” she smiles. “Anything for the one my little Jaehyunnie has been so obsessed with lately.”

“Mother,” Jaehyun’s reaction is a warning to her, but to you it just sounds like a boy being embarrassed by his mom.

You giggle, and normally he would think it’s the sweetest sound, if not for the circumstances. “So I’ve heard.”

“Ah, I see,” Cathy grins. “He’s already told you all about how he-“

“Are you quite content, mother?” Jaehyun interrupts, eyes flashing his warning towards Cathy who only appears to be amused at his antics.

“Oh, indeed,” she smiles back, though you fail to register the malice hidden behind her lips. “I was only hoping to be joined by Miss (Y/n) here for some morning beverages. I’d love to get to know her better, if she’s alright with that, of course.”

Before Jaehyun can even respond, you’re already speaking, “I’d love that.”

“Excellent!” His mother stands, descending the stairs and coming to stand before you. Having her this close really makes you realize the amount of power and regality she possesses. She extends her hand out for you to take. “If you’d be so kind as to join me.”

“Of course! Thank you,” you take her hand, allowing her to lead you out of the throne room as your arm slips out of Jaehyun’s grasp. With one final glance back, you see Jaehyun already staring after you, an unreadable expression on his face.

Turning back around, you notice Cathy leading you towards the gardens. Once outside, you see a nice table already set up facing the fountain, some of the finest cups and plates already set on top. Letting go of your hand, she motions for you to sit with her, a servant already pouring what looks like a steaming cup of tea for each of you.

“Thank you,” you repeat your words from earlier once you’re seated, graciously accepting the cup that is handed to you.

“I’m so glad you could join me this morning for a little girl talk,” she smiles, tilting her own cup in your direction in a mock ‘cheers’ gesture, of which you mirror.

“It’s nice to be invited,” you reply, taking a sip of your drink.

“I want you to know that you can come to me for anything, dear,” she says, looking you directly in your eyes and you’re momentarily stunned by how sincere she looks. “Absolutely anything.”

“Oh my,” you blink a few times in surprise, “that’s awfully kind of you. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good,” her gaze lessens in intensity, allowing for your shoulders to relax slightly, not that you had even been aware of tensing them. “I know how my son can be, so your safety and happiness is my number one priority.”

“Thank you,” is all you can say, and you’re starting to feel like a broken record, but you truly are grateful for her words. Though, you don’t quite know exactly what she means by her most recent ones. Jaehyun, to you, seems like a really nice, caring guy, so the knowing look she sends you when she says that only serves to confuse you. Besides, she seems a lot nicer than what Jaehyun had made her out to be, of which you find a bit strange. Perhaps she’s just putting up a nice front for your sake at the moment. Either way, you’ll make sure not to do anything that would warrant her to dislike you.

“So, tell me about yourself,” Cathy sips her tea, leaning back in her seat to get comfortable as she watches you.

The rest of the morning is spent with the queen, getting a feel for each other and learning all about the other. She listens intently to everything you have to say and she looks genuinely so intrigued by you. The more time you spend with her, the more you seem to relax around her. She’s nothing like how Jaehyun described, which only makes you believe that that’s his familial side talking. Perhaps they’re not as close as the media makes them out to be.

By the time lunch rolls around, you find yourself eating alongside the Queen in the dining room, Jaehyun nowhere to be seen. Noticing your curious gaze, she mentions that he has some diplomatic council meeting to attend to, but he’ll probably be joining you for dinner that evening. You simply nod in response, continuing on with your conversation with the Queen.

Another hour passes with you spending time with Cathy, and the both of you enjoy this so much that you plan to make your little girl talk a weekly thing. You end up leaving with a smile on your face, as if a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders as you head back to your room. Honestly, you cannot wait for next week to be able to spend more time with the Queen, as she’s nothing at all like you were expecting. It’ll be nice to have another person that you can consider a friend while you’re staying here.

Making it back to your room, you’re greeted by Maria who seems to have been patiently waiting for your return. She asks you how your day has been so far, and you tell her honestly that you had a lovely morning with the Queen. 

“I’m a little surprised though,” you admit.

“Why’s that?” She asks, brow furrowing in slight concern.

“Jaehyun told me that she was a hard woman to please,”

“Really?” Her voice comes out in mild disbelief. From what she knows of the Queen, she’s a lovely person through and through. The Prince on the other hand… though she would never tell you that. Not that she could without risk of losing her life and everything she holds dear.

“Still, I’m glad we made such a connection today,” you smile. “That’s good, right? Getting his mom to like me is a step in a positive direction.”

“Of course, Miss,” Maria returns your smile, though it seems a bit forced. She has to be extra careful around you now with how she acts and what she says, after all, by now, every servant in the castle has heard of what happened to Greta last night.

“By the way, how’s Greta doing? I haven’t seen her since yesterday,” you wonder aloud, almost missing the way Maria’s shoulders seem to tense at the inquiry.

“Oh, uh, about that,” Maria says, eyes shifting nervously around the room. She’s just grateful she’s facing away from you at the moment. “Greta took a vacation to go visit her family, so she won’t be back for a while.”

“Ah, I see,” you hum. “That’s nice, hopefully she has a lovely time with her family.”

If only you knew what kind of condition she was in when her body was sent back to her family. Maybe then you would have heeded her warnings.

“Yeah,” Maria replies, somewhat breathless. “Hopefully.”

The next few weeks pass by in a blur for you, each day bringing about a new adventure with Jaehyun. So far, he makes you very happy, and you’re beginning to settle into things at the castle. You especially look forward to the weekly girl talk dates with Cathy, of which she’s asked you to start calling her ‘mom’. Each time she does, you smile shyly and your heart warms, though when you told Jaehyun, he seemed quite shocked.

You’ve also discovered that some of the servants are humans and others are vampires, which was a bit of a surprise to you since you thought all of the servants were humans. At least most of the one’s you’ve encountered so far are. They’ve all been super nice to you, except for the odd one that either looks at you with pity or worry in their eyes. A few even go so far as to attempt to warn you against something, but Jaehyun always appears before they can finish whatever it is that they have to tell you. Whenever this happens, you can never understand the fear that seems to take hold of their body, eyes pleadingly looking towards Jaehyun. Oddly enough, you usually never encounter them again, only hearing brief mention of their names from passing servants.

Of course Jaehyun won’t tell you the amount of teeth he’s pulled, eyes he’s gouged out, or even tongues he’s cut off because of this. No, never. He always has to be the perfect prince in your eyes, keeping you blind to everything that might scare you away from him.

What really sets him off one day is when the two of you had just come back from riding your horses through the grounds. The stable hand, Shotaro, had given you a hand helping you off of your horse. Instead of Jaehyun being the one to help you, he was forced to watch as another male held your hand delicately and smiled at you softly.

Having had a few previous interactions with the vampiric stable hand, you thought nothing of this. A simple friendly gesture to you was near treason in Jaehyun’s eyes. Only he should be able to touch you like that. How else is he supposed to charm you and show you how much of a gentleman he can be towards you? How he can provide for you, even in the most basic of ways?

Luckily, Maria was waiting to lead you back to the castle in order for your weekly girl talk with the Queen. Using this opportunity as you’re walking away, Jaehyun rounds on Shotaro, already seeing the vampire visibly stiffen at the deathly gaze that is sent his way. In the blink of an eye, Jaehyun is in front of him, grasping the same hand Shotaro used to help you down from the horse.

“Scream, and I will end you,” Jaehyun seethes, not giving a second thought as he crushes Shotaro’s hand in his grip, hearing the bones snapping beneath the pressure. The tears he sees threatening to fall from this pest’s eyes only serve to widen the sadistic smile on Jaehyun’s face. “If you ever touch what’s mine again, your hand won’t be the only part of you I shatter. Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-yes, my Prince,” Shotaro stutters out, fear pouring off of him from every angle.

“Now, you better go get that hand of yours fixed up,” Jaehyun tilts his head slightly, a malicious gleam in his eyes. “We wouldn’t want any bones to set and start healing in the wrong place, now would we?”

“N-no, my Prince,” he shakes his head, clutching his broken hand to his chest as soon as Jaehyun releases his grip.

“Good,” Jaehyun hums, a dark expression taking over his features. “Now, get out of my sight.”

Immediately, Shotaro flees the scene, fearing the Prince might inflict more of his wrath upon him. How you haven’t noticed Jaehyun’s eccentric behaviour yet is a mystery. Then again, he purposely keeps you blind to everything bad about his personality, only willing to show you the good parts. Those good parts which are only reserved for you.

Meanwhile, you have just been softly conversing with Maria as she walks with you back up to the castle from the stables. It’s then that you realize that you’ve been walking alone with her for the past two minutes, causing your brow to furrow slightly.

“Where’s Jaehyun?” You verbalize your thoughts, and just as you’re about to turn around to look for him, you feel his comforting hand on the small of your back.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, I had to check up on something back at the stables,” his smile is dazzling and you can’t help but nod your head in understanding as you smile back at him.

Naturally, your arm slides around his, the two of you walking comfortably back into the castle with Maria at your heels. Soon enough, the two of you enter the throne room, a large smile breaking out onto your features as you greet the Queen. A smile which Jaehyun wants only for himself.

“Are you finally going to join us today, Jaehyunnie?” Cathy asks, standing from her seat and making her way towards the two of you.

“Oh, I’d love that,” you look towards him with a hopeful expression, eyes wide.

“Not today, unfortunately,” the look you’re giving him almost makes him change his mind immediately, the pout causing him to gently cup your cheek in his hand, running his thumb over your skin. “Maybe next time.”

“Alright,” you sigh, slightly disappointed. You love spending time with him, almost as much as he does with you. “You promise?”

“I promise,” he smiles, placing a gentle kiss onto your forehead as he reluctantly steps aways from you, only to see his mother observing him carefully. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

“Okay,” you respond, eyes following his figure as he turns and walks out of the room, gaze lingering ever so slightly on the doors even after they’ve closed behind him.

“Ready to go, dear?” Cathy’s voice manages to pull you out of your daze, you nodding in the next moment and following her out into the gardens for your weekly girl talk session.

The afternoon passes with the two of you conversing about how you’re liking staying at the palace so far. You tell her honestly that you’re having a wonderful time, and that everyone seems so nice, except for the odd few who seem to avoid you like the plague. She seemed to only hum in response at that, though you’re not quite sure why.

“How’s your family? Have you been writing to them like I suggested?” Cathy sips her drink, looking at you expectantly.

“Oh, I completely forgot,” you meant to send them a letter last week after she had suggested it, but you got caught up in the plans Jaehyun had made in the afternoon that you forgot all about it. Besides, he didn’t quite look too enthused when you mentioned writing to them, but that could just be your faulty memory. “I should write them today, I do miss them greatly.”

“Would you like to visit them?”

“I’d love to,” you smile softly, not believing it to be possible. “But-“

“Excellent! I’ll make arrangements for you to visit them tomorrow,” Cathy interjects, a chipper expression on her face.

“I don’t know how to thank you enough,” at this point you know not to question her decisions.

“Nonsense,” she places her hand gently on top of yours which has been resting on the table between the two of you. “It’s the least I can do. After all, with how much you talk about your family, I can tell they’re important to you.”

“They are,” you confirm, looking over to meet her fond gaze.

“You have a kind heart, (Y/n),” she hums, shifting her gaze to look out over the garden. “Guard it well.”

You can only smile in return, thoughts running wild as to you finally being able to go visit your mother and your sister since you first arrived at the palace two months ago. Finally, you’ll be able to catch up with them and tell them all about what’s been going on in your life. Maybe if you’re lucky, you can introduce Jaehyun to them as well.

That evening, after Jaehyun has bid you a goodnight, he storms into his mother’s chambers. Throwing the doors open, a loud bang reverberates throughout the room, a few passing servants looking on in fear. Sending a dangerous look their way, Jaehyun manages to scare them off before rounding on his mother.

“You promised to let her see her family tomorrow?” He seethes, voice booming as there’s no fear you may overhear. After all, your room is all the way on the opposite side of the castle.

“Oh, Jaehyunnie, what a pleasant surprise for you to drop by to finally come visit your dear mother,” she feigns interest, sparing him a side glance before going back to her nightly routine.

“Spare the small talk, mother,” he spits, brows furrowed in anger. “Why would you do something like this?”

“Are you that obsessed with isolating the poor girl?” Cathy hums, tilting her head questioningly at her son. “She needs to socialize with other people, she can’t just stay around you the whole time.”

“I’m the only one she needs,” his voice is low, a growl threatening to rise up his throat. “The only one she’ll ever need.”

“You do not own her,”

“I know,” he snaps. “I’ve worked too damn hard to let her go now.”

“You have a lot to realize before you should even think about calling her yours,” Cathy states, hearing her son let out the growl that he had been holding back this whole time. She only looks amused by his reaction. “You cannot control her.”

“Everything’s gone according to plan thus far,” he retorts, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Besides a few minor set backs which have been disposed of.”

“Ah, yes,” she muses. “I’d appreciate if you stopped mutilating my servants, let alone killing them.”

“It’s no less than they deserve,” he counters.

“And what does your beloved think about that side of you?”

A brief moment of silence settles around the room, speaking volumes in Cathy’s eyes, until he breaks it.

“She doesn’t know,” Jaehyun watches his mother move around her room carefully, eyes narrowed in distaste. “She never will."

“My child, there will come a day when her eyes are opened to see your true colours,” Cathy warns, pausing in her step to turn and look down upon Jaehyun with her nose upturned. 

“Is that a threat, mother?” His eyes hold a crazed look in them at the mere idea of you finding out the truth. Hell, even the thought of you being taken away from him sets his instincts into overdrive, causing his eyes to bleed red and another growl to escape his throat.

“It’s not a threat if I only speak the truth,” she replies calmly, only causing his anger to flare more than it already has. “Do not expect her to return with you after visiting her family tomorrow. I have been keeping in touch with them regarding this entire situation and they know the lengths you are willing to go to ensnare her. The lengths you have already gone. I don’t know what you told Minho to tell her mother that first day that has her so terrified of the consequences, but her sister, Lori, was it? She seems to have a level head on her shoulders.”

Jaehyun’s blood boils, eyes filling with fury as they remain red, “you’ve been doing what?”

“Warning them about you and devising a plan to free the lovely Miss (Y/n) from your clutches,” her brow quirks as she watches her son fume before her very eyes. 

“I’ll kill them if they so much as even try,” he hisses, chest heaving with every breath as he is thrown into this situation. He’s come this far, there’s no way he’s letting you go now.

“Not if I have anything to do with it,” Cathy’s voice is steady, firm in her command of the room. “Enough blood has already been spilt on your account.”

“Clearly, there hasn’t been enough,” Jaehyun growls, eye flashing once more at his mother.

Rising to her full height, the Queen does not take the underlying threat from her son lightly, “you dare threaten me? Let’s not forget who brought you into this world and who taught you all that you know. Be careful, boy, lest your ambitious lust go to your head.”

“I don’t care who you may be to me, mother,” he seethes, straightening his back and matching her ferocity with his own, “but if you so much as even attempt to take what’s mine away from me, I’ll kill you.”

Without another word between them, Jaehyun is storming out of his mother’s room, leaving her standing with a shocked expression on her face. Never, in all of her long years of putting up with his antics has she ever seen him look this serious, this deadly about something in her life. Her worry only grows for you as she thinks of what he may have in store for you in the future. Going forward, she’ll have to be extra cautious, preparing herself for whatever her son has planned to come.

The next morning, you wake up bright and early, excited to finally go visit your family again after being away from them for so long. You hardly got any sleep at all last night, considering how excited you are. Being able to catch them up to everything going on in your life will be like a dream come true, and besides, you never did get your clothes from your mom that she promised to send to the palace, and you really miss your favourite sweater.

“You’re awfully happy this morning,” Maria comments as she does your hair for the day.

“I am,” you agree. “I haven’t seen my family in months and I can’t wait to introduce them to Jaehyun.”

“That’ll be lovely!” Maria replies, though you catch her grimace in the mirror.

“What is it?” You question, eyes wide with concern.

“Nothing to worry yourself about,” she tells you, shrugging off your inquiries.

“Clearly it’s something,” you counter, to which she sighs.

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the Prince will not be joining you right away this morning,” Maria admits, to which your expression drops slightly.

“Oh,”

“But don’t worry! He told me to tell you that he’d be along as soon as he can,” Maria continues, giving your shoulders a quick rub in encouragement. “He just has a few things to tend to first. You know, political duties and such.”

“I understand,” you nod, still visibly disappointed you won’t be arriving at the same time, nor travelling together this morning.

“Come on, dear, let’s get you changed,” she gives your shoulders one final pat before leading you to the closet to finish getting you ready for the day.

After a quick breakfast with the Queen, you’re being ushered into the back of a car to head back home for the day. The whole car ride over feels like an eternity, the scenery not being able to distract you one bit. 

Restless wouldn’t even begin to be able to describe you, your eyes flitting everywhere inside the car, then out the window, only to repeat the same process over and over again. Even your leg hasn’t stopped bouncing in anticipation, fingers toying with the edge of your shirt just to have something to do.

Eventually, after what feels like hours to you, you arrive in a familiar neighbourhood. Once the car is parked, you step out onto a familiar driveway, a smile gracing your features as you breathe in the fresh air. The driver has only been instructed to drop you off since Jaehyun will be by later, accompanied by Minho to take you back to the palace. Once he sees you’re safe, he’s starting the engine once more and pulling out of the driveway. This way you can have some privacy before the Prince arrives. Cathy made sure of that.

Making your way up your front porch, there’s a slight spring to your step, pushing open the front door in the next moment and calling out a cheerful ‘I’m home’! Oh, how good it feels, too.

“(Y/n)?” You hear your mother’s voice sound from the kitchen before her head is peeking out from the doorway, eyes wide with disbelief. “Is that you?”

“Hey, mom,” you greet, kicking off your shoes and running over to embrace her, her arms already spread open in anticipation.

“It’s so good to see you again, sweetie,” she says, hugging you even closer than before, almost as if she’s afraid you’ll disappear in a moment’s notice. “When the queen sent notice last night of you coming to visit this morning, I could hardly believe it.”

“More like you couldn’t believe it,” Lori’s voice sounds from the entranceway behind you, causing a large grin to spread on your face as you turn around to face your younger sister. “Where’s the Prince? I’m surprised you two aren’t joined at the hip.”

You roll you eyes at this, “it’s lovely to see you, too, Lori. I’ve missed you so much.”

She merely sticks her tongue out at you in response, coming over to squish you in a hug in the next second. “Yeah, yeah, I missed you, too.”

Despite her grumbling, you can tell she means what she says, if the tightness of her hug is anything to go by. You can tell she’s also missed teasing you, just as you’ve missed teasing her.

“If you must know,” you say, pulling away from Lori after a long hug. “Jaehyun will be coming by later, he’s just got a few things to attend to first. He sends his regards, though, for the time being.”

“Wow, first name basis with the Prince,” Lori whistles lowly. “That’s a shocker considering I’ve heard that he doesn’t let just anyone call him that.”

“Lori,” your mother shoots a warning look at your sister.

“What? It’s the truth,” she shrugs, only causing you to chuckle.

“Well, we are pretty close,”

“I’ll say,” Lori hums. “Speaking of, has he ever told you why he chose you, or how he even found out about you in the first place?”

“Lori, my word,” your mother shoots her another look, as if to tell her to quit while she’s ahead.

“Mom, it’s okay,” you chuckle, voice nothing but reassuring. “I always knew my little sister was concerned for me, no matter how badly she tries to hide it. As a matter of fact, yes. I have asked him before.”

“And?” She motions with her hand for you to continue.

“He told me that one day while he was out he saw me and overheard the conversation I was having with Jaemin - remember how we always banter back and forth?” Seeing her nod, you continue, “anyways, he apparently appreciated my wit and humour and decided to learn more about me. Well, here we are.”

The smile you send your mother and sister only serves to unnerve them slightly. They’ve been told not to tell you that Jaemin has gone missing since you’ve left for the palace.

“You believe him?” Lori gives you a ‘really’ look, brow quirked in disbelief.

“I have no reason not to,” you shrug.

By now, the two of you have sat down at the kitchen table, your mother busy with preparing lunch for all of you.

“You know how crazy that sounds, though, right?” She goes on to say. “After eavesdropping on your conversation he suddenly wants you to move to the palace so he can make you his wife? That’s very strange.”

“I mean, I was a little weirded out at first, but after he explained himself I felt better,” you say, leaning back slightly in your chair in order to relax. “I trust him.”

At your words, Lori only seems even more suspicious, your mother distracting you long enough for her to hide her concern.

“That’s nice, dear,” she smiles at you. “You must really like him, then.”

You hum in agreement, “I really do.”

“So,” your mother begins, sitting down to join you two at the table as the food heats up on the stove, “tell us everything.”

It takes you about an hour and a half to explain everything that’s happened to you since your arrival at the castle all those weeks ago. The whole while, your mother and sister listen patiently to what you have to say, chiming in here and there with little comments of their own. Your mother seems happy for you, but you can tell your sister isn’t all that convinced. Her comment about the Prince not being everything he seems to be certainly is enough to rub you the wrong way, putting a slight damper on your mood the longer you spend at home.

“All I’m just saying is that he seems too nice, from what you’re telling me,” her eyes hold the same suspicion you can hear clearly in her voice.

“He’s given me no reason to suspect otherwise,” you counter, a slight furrow to your brows.

“Yet he’s never once suggested visiting us, and when you do, he’s nowhere to be found,” Lori quirks a brow at you.

“It’s not his fault he has duties to attend to,” you defend him, upset that your sister doesn’t seem nearly as happy for you as you thought she’d be.

“Does he always have ‘duties’ to attend to when there’s something you want to do?” A knowing look is sent your way, as if she already knows how you’re going to answer. “If you’re always alone there, then why don’t you just come home? It sounds to me like you’d be better off that way, anyways.”

“No!” You immediately counter, crossing your arms in front of your chest, hurt that your own sister would even suggest something like this. “That’s not the case. He’s been nothing but caring and respectful towards me since I got there. I don’t expect him to wait on me hand and foot all the goddamn time. It’s nice having some space every once in a while, too.” You can tell you’ve momentarily stunned her with your answer as she looks at you, dumbfounded. Taking this opportunity, you continue, “if all you’re going to do is shit on my happiness, then I won’t bother to come home at all. I care about him and I know he cares about me, and all you’re doing is making your jealousy clear. I don’t want to move back home, I want to stay with him. I-“ you swallow, gathering your courage to utter your next words, “I’m in love with him.”

A soft gasp leaves your mother’s lips, “sweetie.”

“What?” You turn your attention to look at her, noticing how she’s already staring at you with an unreadable expression on her face, your sister sitting frozen in her spot at your admission.

“You love him,” comes your sister’s voice. Not a question, but a mere statement of facts, of which causes you to gape slightly before closing your mouth and steadying yourself. You let out a breath that you didn’t realize you’d been holding.

“I do,” you confirm, staring both women down as they stare back at you. Your mother with a dumbfounded expression, your sister with a stern gaze that feels as if it’s boring into your soul.

A moment of silence passes over the three of you as they let your confession sink in, only interrupted by a soft knock at the door.

“I’ll get it,” your mother sighs, heading towards the front door to see who it could be.

“He has you wrapped around his finger, doesn’t he?” Lori sighs, causing whatever last thread of patience you had to snap at her remark.

Your snappy retort dies in your throat as soon as you hear a familiar masculine voice coming from the front door, Jaehyun politely introducing himself to your mother after being invited inside.

“Speak of the devil, and he shall appear,” Lori mutters, shaking her head.

In an instant, you’re standing, the scraping of your chair against the floor enough to cause Lori to look up at you in surprise at the sudden action. You say nothing as you head out of the kitchen and towards the front door, Lori following shortly afterwards with a frown prominent on her face.

To everyone’s surprise, you start to slip on your shoes. Out of the corner of your eyes, you see Minho shoot you a worried look while your mother and sister share a glance. However, none look as concerned as Jaehyun does right now.

“Is everything alright?” He asks lowly, hand finding purchase on your lower back as you right yourself after fixing your one shoe.

“Fine,” you respond shortly, to the surprise of everyone in the room. “Thanks for lunch, mom. It was really nice seeing you again.”

You move over to give her a brief hug. It takes her a moment to return it, unsure of what exactly has transpired in the past minute to have you rushing out of the door so soon. You seemed so excited for them to meet the Prince earlier, so this only serves to increase her worry.

“Of course, dear,” she answers. “Is everything okay?”

You pull away, giving her a tight smile, “just a bad headache, is all.”

“Are you sure you don’t just want to lie down for a bit? You just got here,” she frowns, worry evident on her features along with a hint of what looks like sadness.

“I’m sure,” you reply, sending her a weak smile in return. 

One thing you’ve always been horrible at is hiding your emotions. Anyone can read them clear as day on your face, especially right now. That’s one thing Jaehyun has learned about you during your stay at the palace, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t find out what happened. For now, he’ll simply go along with your wishes, playing the part of the concerned lover. Good thing, too, otherwise if a moment longer had passed, he probably would have torn Lori’s head from her shoulders for causing you such distress.

Even though he’s only just entered the house, he’s been outside far longer than any of you have suspected. Of course he overheard what the three of you had been talking about, and your family’s attitudes certainly rubbed him the wrong way. He knows his own mother definitely has something to do with the way Lori is acting. Thank fuck she won’t be a problem any more.

The only good thing his mind has latched onto at the moment is your loving confession. He has to remind himself to stay in control of his emotions for the time being, lest he want his plans to be ruined. After all, things are going far better than he could have ever hoped on this end.

“Okay, sweetie, if you’re sure,” even though she doesn’t look convinced, she doesn’t push the issue. “Come and visit again soon!”

“We will,” you give her another small smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

Giving one final nod to your mother, you hardly even spare Lori a final glance as you bid her farewell, the both of them waving goodbye to you from the front porch. Once seated in the backseat of the car beside Jaehyun, you let out a sigh.

“Is everything okay, Princess?” His voice holds nothing but concern as he motions for Minho to raise the privacy screen.

You finally meet his gaze, and he curses whoever was the one to cause you pain, “honestly, not really.”

He shifts closer, placing a comforting hand on your knee, “did you want to talk about it?”

A few moments pass by in silence as you attempt to calm yourself down. Taking a deep breath, you meet his gaze once more.

“She called you a devil,” he inhales sharply at your words, feigning shock. “And I know how much you hate that word, let alone being called such a thing. I just couldn’t sit there and listen to any more of Lori’s bullshit slander of you.”

“I see,” he says, lips tugging downwards in a frown. On the inside though, he’s surprised that you even remembered him telling you that offhandedly one of the first times you went horseback riding together. It warms his heart that you would remember a detail like that of himself. Though, this only serves to confirm to him even further that you’re perfect for each other.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize for your family’s behaviour. “I just couldn’t stand how she was talking about you, or the fact that I felt like they were invalidating my feelings.”

“It’s not your fault,” he assures you, shifting so that his hand can now gently stroke your back as you lean forward to rest your elbows on your knees.

“I was looking forward to you meeting them, too,” you pout, disappointment clear in your voice. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s alright, Darling,” he sends you a reassuring smile. “If I’m being completely honest, I’m kind of glad we left early. I don’t think I would have had the heart to be proper company to your loved ones.”

This time, it’s your turn to look at him in concern, “is everything okay?”

“Not really,” he shoots you a weak smile, his facade cracking just as he had planned from the moment you decided to leave your house as soon as he had arrived. “No.”

“What’s wrong?” You cup his cheek tenderly, and he leans into your touch, briefly closing his eyes as he revels in the way your skin feels against his, though you take it as him seeking comfort for whatever it is he’s about to tell you.

“It’s my mother,” he pauses, swallowing a fake lump in his throat. “She’s been murdered.”

“Oh my god,” a gasp escapes your lips, a hand coming up to cover your mouth in shock.

“I was only just informed minutes before I arrived at your house,”

“Oh, Jaehyun,” your eyes hold nothing but sorrow as you embrace him, “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re doing an awful lot of apologizing today for things that aren’t your fault,” he comments, wrapping his arms securely around your waist as he pulls you closer into his chest.

“Still,” you whisper into his neck, “I’m sorry for your loss. Your mother was a wonderful person.”

A hum is all you receive in response, his grip tightening ever so subtly around you as he feels you start to shake slightly. He knew the two of you were close, but he wasn’t expecting you to shed actual tears when you learnt his mother had passed. Perhaps it’s the combination of emotions from your family mixed with this sudden news that has you curled up in his arms, seeking his comfort as much as you are comforting him. Either way, he’ll use this to his advantage, loving the feeling of having you pressed so close to him, clinging onto him like he’s the only one you’ll ever need.

Quietly, he shushes you, telling you that it’ll be alright. You’re quite surprised at how well he’s taking all of this, though you can tell he’s glad for the comfort you provide him during this time. However, what you fail to see is Jaehyun glancing briefly towards the window, eyes flashing as he catches his reflection in the glass. A look of smug content resides on his features as he continues to stroke your back in comforting circles.

You manage to fall asleep about halfway through the car ride back to the castle. Your head is resting on Jaehyun’s lap as he gently strokes his hand over your hair. A smile pulls at his lips when he hears you hum in content, shifting yourself closer to him in response.

Growing up the way he did, getting everything he ever wanted or could ever ask for, and hardly ever receiving punishments for his actions, he’s used to others shouting and crying about how unfair he can be. The amount of people he’s seen beg for their life with tears in their eyes has never made him blink one time. However, seeing you this upset, with tears in your eyes has made him promise himself to never see you cry again. You’re the only person in this universe he cannot stand to see in pain, and he will do anything and everything in his power to make sure that this never happens again. You deserve nothing but happiness, of which he knows only he can give you.

The news of the Queen’s death spreads throughout the nation like wildfire. Many demand answers as to how something like this could have happened, as well as who would do such a thing. Luckily, Jaehyun had prepared for this. A few servants, both human and vampire alike, that had tested his patience for far too long took the fall, information leaking that the murder was an inside job long planned out by said servants.

Jaehyun played his part well, condemning the criminals for their vile acts and taking his precious mother away from him, as well as the precious matriarch away from the citizens. The best part is that you were there the whole time comforting him and making sure he was okay. 

Those were some of the best days for him, being able to stay by your side nearly twenty-four seven, being able to hold you in his arms as you slept beside him. Fuck, he can never get enough of you: your soft skin beneath his fingertips, the way your body feels pressed against his own, the way you stood by him and offered him condolence when he needed it, and especially the way you smell. There were a few times he nearly went feral during the night due to your scent spiking with arousal. He could tell you were having some pretty nice dreams about him, for the one time you moaned his name in your sleep, nearly driving him insane.

He only wishes he had done this sooner, maybe then your sister wouldn’t be even more suspicious towards him. The letters from her only seemed to increase after his mother’s death, but he has no time for them, nor does he even want to entertain them. Maybe then he can finally have you all to himself without worrying about what your stupid brat of a younger sister might do to take you away from him. No matter, he’ll make sure to dispose of her soon, if she doesn’t stay in line.

Approximately two weeks after his mother’s funeral, Jaehyun takes you on a small picnic beneath the willow tree that overlooks the gardens. The place is secluded enough that you know you won’t be disturbed. After all, after the commotion of the past few weeks, it’s nice to just get away for a while, especially with just the two of you.

Currently, his head is resting in your lap, the two of you finally able to relax and enjoy each other’s company without interruptions. Glancing down, Jaehyun catches your gaze.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look today yet?” He smiles softly up at you as he watches the evening sun kiss your skin.

“Hmm,” you pretend to ponder his question, gazing out over the gardens as you teasingly tap your chin. “I don’t think you have.”

“It’s a shame, then,” he clicks his tongue, shaking his head slightly. “All the stars in both heaven and on earth could never compare to your beauty.”

The way he looks at you, like you’re his entire world, sets your heart racing in your chest. You bite your lip, looking away bashfully.

Sitting up, he lets out a small chuckle at your reaction. How can you be so cute?

“Don’t hide that pretty face from me, Darling,” cupping your chin gently in his hand, he turns your head to face him, noticing how you avert your gaze slightly in embarrassment. Pride swells in his chest as he knows only he can get a reaction like this out of you. Only he can make you feel this way. “From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I knew you were the one for me.”

“Jae,” the whisper of his name from your lips sends a shiver down his spine.

“Getting to know you over these past few months has only confirmed my first thought I had of you,” he tells you, stroking his thumb slowly over your bottom lip as you watch him carefully.

“Oh?” Your gaze becomes hooded as you watch him, his own eyes focussed on the way his thumb is caressing your lip. “What might that be?”

“You’re perfect,” his voice is low, seductive, as he moves his hand to the back of your neck, thumb now stroking the nape.

“You must not have met many good people, then,” you lightly joke, the corner of your lip twitching upwards as your eyes flick to his lips, noticing how the space between the two of you grows ever smaller by the second.

“No,” he replies softly, “I haven’t.”

Your hand comes up to cup the side of his face, thumb rubbing his cheek tenderly as the two of you continue to stare into each other’s eyes. A moment of silence passes between the two of you before Jaehyun is breaking it.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I thought you’d never ask,”

You barely have time to finish your words when his lips are on yours, the hand he has placed on the back of your neck pulling you in closer. His touch is soft, lips delicate over your own, as if you’re the finest piece of glass that needs to be handled with the utmost care. Your eyes flutter shut.

This tender moment is enough to steal your breath away, something that Jaehyun never fails to do when you’re alone with him. How you got him of all people to fall for you is still a wonder, of which everyday you’re thankful for. Ever since he’s come into your life, you’ve never been happier. Each day with him is another where he makes you feel special. He cherishes you, just as you have come to cherish him, but more than all of that, he makes you feel loved.

Pulling away, he rests his forehead on yours, the hand on the back of your neck holding you in place as your eyes open to see him already gazing at you fondly.

“Like I said,” he breathes. “Perfect.”

“I could say the same about you,” you hum, pecking his lips once more and causing him to smile.

He hums back, content with how this evening is going so far, and with one final lingering kiss to your lips, he pulls away from you, albeit a bit reluctantly. If he’s honest with himself, he’s a bit nervous. The question he’s been meaning to ask you this entire evening sits at the tip of his tongue, unwilling to actually be formed into the proper words.

“I love you,” this is not the first time he’s told you this, but it still sets your heart aflutter. Maybe this time will be the time you say it back.

“I know,” you hum, lips tugging upwards as your eyes reflect the same love and want shining in his own.

“Even though we haven’t know each other all that long, no one makes me feel the way that you do,” he begins, again, somewhat nervously. You take his one hand into yours, letting him know he can take all the time he needs to in order to form the words he wants to say to you. “You mean the world to me, and I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. I know it sounds ridiculous, but my life changed the day you stepped through those palace doors, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. You’ve changed my life for the better; you make me want to be a better man.”

“Jaehyun,” his name is but a whisper on your lips as he pulls out a ring from his pocket.

“Will you do me the honour of becoming mine?” He asks, gaze locking on yours as your hands come up to cover your mouth in shock. 

All you can do at the moment is nod your head, a large smile breaking out onto your face before it morphs into a slight smirk as he slides the ring on your finger. “Does this mean I get to call you mine?”

“You can call me whatever you’d like,” he grins, eyes hooded as he pulls you onto his lap to admire the ring now glinting on your finger. “My perfect bride.”

Your giggle is like music to his ears as he pulls you in for another kiss. This one is more heated, full of passion and longing with an undertone of a promise of what is still yet to come. 

Jaehyun could not be happier than he is in this moment with you. Everything has gone according to plan, and soon, he’ll get to call you his wife. Not that you would have had a choice in the matter, even if you had denied him. Now, you’re his, indefinitely, and nothing can change that. Now, he’s never letting you go.

As the sun begins to set in the distance, it’s your turn to rest your head on his thigh. He’s currently feeding you some red grapes, of which he’s been told are your favourite.

“What else we got?” You ask after a having a few more grapes.

“Hmm, let’s see,” he digs through the basket, pulling out and listing the different food options. “Why, do you not like the grapes?”

“I do, don’t get me wrong,” you smile reassuringly at him. “I’m just not the biggest fan of red grapes.”

“I thought they were your favourite,” Jaehyun replies, a small frown pulling at his features. Who was it again that told him that red grapes were your favourite? Ah, that’s right, Ben. If he had known they weren’t your favourite he would have never even dreamed of having them packed for you.

“Nah,” you scrunch your nose slightly while shaking your head. Jaehyun would think it’s cute were not for the situation he finds himself in. “Green grapes are where it’s at.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he smiles, though you don’t registered how it looks slightly forced.

Shooting him a smile back, the two of you turn your attention back to the sunset before you, making small comments here and there about the way the light reflects off of the surrounding areas. You feel completely at peace. Jaehyun on the other hand, is suffering from inner turmoil at this mistake. Something that is so small could have meant a world of difference to you, and the last thing he wants is to screw things up this far into your relationship. How is he supposed to be the perfect lover if he can’t even get your favourite foods correct?

The moment he bids you a goodnight and your door shuts behind him that evening, he’s speeding to the kitchen. The staff, whom had been finishing up for the day are startled by his sudden appearance. Immediately, they bow in respect, a few of the cook’s nerves spiking in fear that what they had prepared this evening did not please him.

“Where’s Ben?” His voice booms throughout the room, eyes deadly as they scan the area for the aforementioned man. 

“He’s just gone to dispose of the trash, Your Highness,” one of the cooks tells him.

“How fitting,” he muses, already thumbing the coin in his pocket which he had grabbed from the cellar on the way here.

The side door to the kitchen creaks slightly when it opens, a lanky man walking through in the next moment. Sensing the tension in the kitchen, he freezes, the door falling shut behind him. Noticing Jaehyun standing at the opposite end of the counter, he immediately bows.

“Your Highness,” 

“Red grapes, huh, Ben?” At Jaehyun’s words, Ben stiffens, already knowing something must have gone wrong for the Prince to be in the kitchen this late.

The rest of the staff share brief glances towards one another in confusion as they watch the scene before them play out. None are willing enough to move for fear of the Prince’s wrath.

“Do you know what this is?” Though his voice is calm, Jaehyun is far from it, only able to maintain his composure due to the fear radiating off of everyone in this room. He loves knowing the power he holds over each one of their insignificant little lives.

Ben eyes the coin now poised in Jaehyun’s hand warily, the metal glinting ever so slightly in the light of the kitchen.

“A coin, Your Highness,” Ben answers as Jaehyun looks at him expectantly, obviously wanting more than just that as his answer. “The ones which you use to pay us.”

“Very good,” he feigns amusement, eyes narrowing harshly in the next moment. “Now tell me, what’s the point in paying you when you provide me with the wrong information?”

Ben looks stunned momentarily, “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.

“Red grapes, Ben,” Jaehyun tuts. “Red. Grapes.”

It seems as if something clicks in his mind, “oh, yes, (Y/n)’s fav-“

“You dare speak her name in my presence?” Jaehyun’s voice booms, a few of the younger staff now visibly shaking in fear at his outburst. “Do not taint my love’s name with your tongue.”

“My apologies-“

“Silence, you scum,” he hisses between clenched teeth. Jaehyun’s anger currently knows no bounds, only serving to worsen the longer he has to deal with this situation. Taking a breath, he seems to visibly calm down slightly before speaking once more. “Did you know, Ben, that she prefers green grapes over red ones?”

It is then that Ben realizes his mistake. The information he had gathered proving insufficient and false. He starts to shake, unsure of what is to become of him now.

“I’m sorry, my Prince, it will not happen again,”

“You’re right,” Jaehyun smirks. “It won’t. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an engagement party to plan,” he turns to leave the kitchen, tossing the coin he’s holding in his hand in the air once before catching it between his fingers. “Oh, and somebody clean this mess up.”

In the blink of an eye, Jaehyun has flung the coin through Ben’s head, a dull thunk being the only sound heard as his now lifeless body falls to the floor. The whole kitchen remains silent, no one daring to even move a single muscle until Jaehyun has turned the corner, nothing but the coin embedded in the wall serving as a reminder of his presence mere moments ago.

The following week passes by in a blur to you, the whole castle bustling from the news of your confirmed engagement to the Prince. Now, there is cause for celebration instead of remaining in the period of mourning that had plagued the nation previously. You only wish his mother was still here to see it all.

You’ve planned to host an engagement party this coming Friday evening, and you can hardly wait. The two of you have been discussing plans for the event, and you don’t think you’ve smiled brighter than you have been these past few days. Jaehyun has been with you every step of the way, sharing in your excitement at the date grows near.

All too soon, the night of the party arrives and you’re dressed in the finest materials you’ve ever worn. Quite a few diplomats and vampires from surrounding kingdoms are coming to wish you a congratulations on your engagement to the Prince, and to say you’re nervous would be an understatement. You just hope you don’t make a fool of yourself in front of so many important people.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, cannot wait to show you off. Finally, he gets to profess his love for you in front of so many others, finally letting everyone know that you’re his and his alone. If anyone so much as dares to take you away from him, he’s prepared to do whatever it takes to keep you and make sure you never leave his side. Nothing, in all of the world, could tear the two of you apart.

Luckily, the evening goes by without a hitch, passing by much quicker than either of you two expect. Though, you have to say, you’re glad. With the way he’s been looking at you all night, the end of the party could not have come sooner.

Making your way back to your room, you think back to the events of the evening. A smile tugs at your lips as you recall the way the two of you danced, the way he held you close in his arms and made you feel loved. You couldn’t ask for a better man to have come to sweep you off of your feet. You only hope that the night doesn’t end here, and from the dark look you still see swimming in his eyes, you have a feeling that it’s only just begun.

With the way Jaehyun has been looking at you this entire evening, you swear he wants to eat you whole. His eyes are dark, a smirk on his lips as he backs you into the wall of your room, hands finding purchase on your hips as he leans into your neck, inhaling deeply.

“Fuck, you smell so good,” he breathes, eyes fluttering closed in bliss as he allows your scent to cloud his mind. A growl escapes him, finally allowing himself to indulge his fantasies, revelling in everything you. “All mine.”

You cannot deny the way your heart positively flutters at his words, and from the way his grip tightens, you can tell he is enjoying each and every one of your reactions. After weeks of tensions rising, interrupted moments and longing glances sent each other’s way, you know what you want, and you what you want, is him. Badly. 

“I hope you don’t mind, Princess,” his voice is low, nose ghosting over the skin of your neck until his lips come to rest right beside your ear, “but tonight,” he hisses as you pull him closer, “tonight, I’m going to make you mine.”

Bringing his lips to yours, he steals a kiss, loving the way you hum approvingly in response. He loves all the reactions you’re giving him, he thinks they’re so cute. The way your heart is racing in your chest, excitement rolling off of you in waves, sets his own dead heart racing. He can smell your arousal building, a fact which only makes his chest swell, a growl of approval building from deep within.

He could get lost in you. The feeling of your lips on his, your scent, your touch. Everything about you drives him wild, and tonight, he finally gets to show you exactly what you mean to him. He’ll treat you like the royalty you are; whom you are meant to be.

Breaking the kiss, he leans back slightly to rest his forehead on yours, staring deeply into your eyes. You can see the love he has for you shining in them, along with the lust and desire swirling within his irises.

“I’m addicted to you,” voice nothing but a whisper, he cups your cheeks in his hands, “I can never get enough.”

“Then don’t,” your soft reply has his eyes widening slightly. “Because I don’t think I could ever love another as much as I love you.”

He swears his dead heart has once again stopped beating in his chest as he lets your words sink in. You love him. You finally told him that you love him.

A smile breaks out onto his face as he claims your lips with his own. You love him, and that’s all he’s ever wanted. Everything he could have ever asked for has just been granted to him. You’ve fulfilled his every wish, and tonight, he’s going to finally make you his, in every meaning of the word. Tonight, you’re his Queen, and his alone.

“Fuck, you don’t know how happy you’ve just made me, hearing you say that,” he says against your lips, needing to feel every inch of your skin beneath him soon, or he might just go crazy. Your giggle is music to his ears as he litters your face with kisses, “I love you.” He hums contently. “My Queen.”

Your breath hitches as you hear him call you that for the first time. You cannot deny the way your stomach clenches at hearing him call you that, and from the slight upturn of his lips, you know he heard your reaction loud and clear.

Feeling a surge of confidence wash over you, you look into his eyes once more, smirk dancing across your own lips. 

“Then fulfill your promise and make me yours,” you purr. “My King.”

A shiver runs down his spine at your words, and he cannot help the snarl that escapes him, “with pleasure.”

In the blink of an eye, he has you pinned on the bed, hovering over top of you as he trails his lips over the skin of your neck. Pinning your hands at the side of your head by your wrists, he takes this opportunity to start sucking marks into your skin, biting down occasionally. Although he doesn’t let his fangs out yet, he makes sure to leave his marks. He wants everyone in the kingdom to know that you’re his, that he’s finally claimed you for all to see.

The sound of tearing fabric registers in your mind, and you glance down to see that Jaehyun has torn both your dress and his shirt from this evening from your bodies, eyes drinking in every curve of your figure beneath him. His hands come up to cup your breasts, thumbs brushing over your nipples as they harden from his touch.

“Beautiful,” he hums.

Giving your chest a slight squeeze, he emphasizes his approval, only serving to make you become bashful. In the next moment, you attempt to cover yourself with your arms, but he’s quicker. Grabbing your wrists, he pins them beside your head once more.

“Ah-ah,” he tuts, a gleam to his eyes, “don’t you dare hide from me.”

Before you can say anything in response, his lips are on yours as he successfully steals your breath away for the nth time that night. Ever so slowly, he parts from you, trailing kisses down your neck and to your chest, where his hands have returned to cupping your breasts gently. 

A shiver runs down your spine once you feel him take one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking lightly as his tongue flicks over the pert bud. His opposite hand works at the other, making sure neither goes untouched. Your satisfied hum is all he needs to hear to know you’re enjoying yourself so far. Smirking against your skin, he trails kisses from one breast to the other as he takes his time to make sure each gets the attention you deserve. By the time he’s done with you, you’ll be screaming his name in ecstasy all night long.

A hand in his hair catches his attention as you guide his head back up to yours, lips meeting in a heated kiss. He can never get enough of you: your taste, your touch, your everything, and he’ll take everything you’re willing to give him, and then some.

Slowly, he grinds himself into you, your legs parting naturally for him to fit between them. The gasp you let out when you feel his hard cock rubbing against your core is music to his ears.

“Feel that, baby?” He hums, nuzzling his nose against your neck and scenting you once more. “That’s all because of you. You have no idea what you do to me.”

The breathless whisper of his name you let out sends a shiver of pleasure down his spine. His one hand grips your thigh, pulling you against him as your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him in to kiss you again as he continues to grind himself into you.

Breaking away, he nips at the skin of your neck, trailing kisses down your body. The whole time, he mumbles against your skin about how he just needs to taste you, your panties being ripped off of your body not even a second later.

The full force of the scent of your arousal hits him as he settles between your legs, a pleased growl echoing from within his chest. He can already tell his eyes have bled red, your slight gasp confirming it when you meet his gaze.

Trailing kisses up your thighs, he notices how your chest rises and falls with each breath in anticipation. A smirk dances at his lips as he sees you close your eyes momentarily the closer to your entrance his mouth gets. 

Testing the waters, he licks a tentative strip up your core, watching your every reaction and drinking it in. Fuck, if you aren’t the best thing he’s ever tasted in his life, and he’s sure to let you know.

At his words, you cover your face in slight embarrassment, feeling every breath he makes hit your core and send little jolts throughout your entire body. From the chuckle you hear him let out, he knows exactly what he’s doing.

“No, no, no, none of that,” he reaches up and pulls your arm down so you’re no longer covering your face. You meet his gaze once more, and your heart nearly stops at the carnal hunger you can see shining within them. “I want you to watch me as I devour you.”

A moan slips passed your lips as you watch him bring a hand up to spread your lower lips, tongue slowly dragging through your folds all the while he stares deeply into your eyes. Every sound you make, every reaction, is his tonight, and his alone.

Wrapping his lips around your clit, he sucks a few times before flicking the sensitive nub with the tip of his tongue. He alternates between this and bringing his tongue down to circle your entrance before thrusting it in to collect your juices, massaging your inner walls at the same time. Like hell he’s going to let anything go to waste, not after he’s waited this long to finally have you all to himself.

Your hips start to move in time with his tongue, and he lets out a snarl as your hand comes to tangle in his hair, only serving to pull him closer into you. His tongue continues to work you up in every way he knows how, wanting you to know that only he can please you like this. Only he can make you feel this good.

His eyes never leave yours the whole time, even when he starts to pick up the pace. Every twitch of your inner walls lets him know he’s doing something right, taking the opportunity to slide a finger in using his free hand. Now, he focusses his tongue on your clit, licking and sucking as his finger massages your inner walls. The way you’re clenching around him only makes him that much more eager to finally be inside you after all this time.

By now, multiple curses and moans of his name have slipped past your lips, whines only serving to becoming louder as he adds a second finger. Each movement he makes is precise, and you can feel the pressure building with each moment that passes by. With each flick of his tongue, you swear it will be the push you need to fall over the edge, but he purposely slows his movements, wanting to keep you on the brink for as long as possible and prolong your pleasure. By the time he adds a third finger, you feel as if you’re just about ready to fall apart.

“That’s it, darling,” he coaxes, moving his fingers along your inner walls in time with each flick of his tongue, the pressure within you about to snap. “Let yourself go.”

His words are all you need to hear in order to feel yourself falling over the edge, your orgasm crashing into you as a scream of his name tears from your throat. A smirk on his lips is the first thing you see once your vision clears, chest heaving with each breath you take as he laps up every last drop of your essence with his tongue.

“Such a good girl for me,” he hums, removing his fingers in order to crawl up your body and place them at your lips. “Suck.”

Immediately, you part your lips, taking his fingers into your mouth and tasting yourself on them. A moan bubbles in your throat as your tongue swirls around his digits, echoed only by his own groan as he sees the blissful expression on your features.

Taking his fingers out of your mouth, he kisses you once more, pulling your body impossibly closer to his own. He needs to feel every inch of you pressed against him, not wanting to leave any part of your body unexplored this evening.

“Jaehyun,” his name falling from your lips is one of the best sounds he’s ever heard in his life, and he could never tire of it. “Please, I need you.”

Those words are all it takes for him to be ripping off his pants and lining himself up with your entrance. He can’t help but tease you a bit, dipping the head of his cock into your folds to collect your wetness before pulling back out again just to hear you whine. You’re so cute when you’re needy for him.

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll make you feel so good,” his voice is a low drawl that sounds right beside your ear.

Your arms are already wrapped around his torso, nails digging into the skin of his back as you feel the need to bring him closer. The next thing you hear is him let out a small chuckle, feeling him beginning to stretch you out in the next second as he begins to push into you.

Your mouth falls open in a soundless gasp as you feel him stretching you out. His own breath falters as he feels your walls pulsing around him, the soft warmth of your flesh feeling as if it were made for him. Considering the fact that you two fit perfectly together, he swears that’s the case.

He has to remind himself not to move before you’re okay, every instinct in his body screaming at him to ravish you as soon as he’s seated in you fully. However, he’s in no rush tonight, wanting to take his time in order to make the sweetest love to your body. Something only he can do.

As soon as he sees you nod, he’s resting his forehead against yours as he pulls out slightly and gives a shallow thrust to start. His movements are slow, precise, each movement of his hips a sensual grind to make you feel every inch of him buried within you.

“I fucking love you, you know that?” His voice is rough, strained as he attempts to control himself for the time being. This is your first time together, and he wants to make sure it’s special for the both of you, something neither of you will forget. 

You let out a gasp at a particularly sharp thrust, “I love you.”

This is all he could have ever wanted, and more, as he begins to pick up his pace. His lips meet yours once more in a searing kiss, all of his passion, love, lust, and want for you being conveyed wordlessly through every movement he makes.

When his lips aren’t on yours, they’re sucking marks into the skin of your neck, teeth nipping at the skin shortly after. As he increases his pace, his one hand comes up to grab yours, fingers intertwining as the other grips your waist, holding you to him as close as possible. The way your free hand drags down his back, nails biting into his skin lets him know he’s doing all the right things. Your legs wrapping around his waist only serve to pull him that much closer into you, a pleased rumble escaping his chest.

Shifting slightly, he adjusts the angle he’s hitting you at, hearing your sharp intake of breath as he hits a specific spot inside you.

“Fuck, my King, right there,” your voice is desperate as it comes out, eyes closing in bliss as your head is thrown back.

The snarl that tears from his throat is feral, your words snapping any last bits of sanity he had left in his body as his hips snap into yours. 

“That’s it, Darling,” he growls, eyes bleeding red once more as he takes in the beautiful expressions you’re making for him, “let your King take care of his Queen.”

The hitch in your breath at his own words causes a tightening in his abdomen, and he knows he’s getting close. He has to remind himself that you’re still only human as his grip tightens on your hand and waist, not wanting to hurt you, but needing you to feel just how desperate he is for you. Everything about you drives him insane, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t treat you like the Queen you are.

With each thrust, he can feel your walls twitching around him, signalling that you’re getting closer to your second release of the night. Bringing his one hand down from your waist, he uses his thumb to circle your clit, feeling your whole body shudder beneath him as you near the edge.

“Come on, my Queen,” his chest rumbles in content each time he says those words, voice dangerously low. “Come with me. Come for your King.”

The way his thumb flicks at your clit, combined with his words and the angle he’s hitting inside of you is enough to push you over the edge for the second time that night. Seeing you shake beneath him in ecstasy, combined with the sinful way you’re moaning his name has him following shortly after, a loud cry of your own name escaping his lips.

Lazily thrusting into you a few more times as you both come down from your highs, he makes sure you’re okay before pulling out of you. In the blink of an eye, he’s got a damp washcloth ready in his hand, wiping you down gently while whispering soft praises in your ear, telling you how good you are for him, and how much he loves you. You can only smile softly in return, finally able to catch your breath once he returns from disposing of the washcloth.

Crawling into the bed, he tucks you both under the covers, pulling you close into his chest in the next moment. His hand strokes over your back gently as he places a tender kiss to your forehead.

“I love you,” he whispers. “My Queen.”

“And I love you,” you hum. “My King.”

Silence settles over the two of you as you each take comfort in the other’s embrace. Eventually, sleep overtakes you, leaving Jaehyun to watch over your sleeping figure with a smile on his face.

“Always and forever,” he whispers, allowing his eyes to close and his whole body to relax as he succumbs to his own darkness.

Dawn comes and Jaehyun manages to wake before you do, appreciating the way the morning light cascades over your naked form, painting you in golden hues for him to adore. His eyes trail over your back, tracing the curve of your spine as he remembers the events of last night. Licking his lips, he inhales the scents of the morning deeply, positively growling at the way you’re now covered in his scent.

As it should be. As it will always be. From this point onwards, you’re his and he’s yours, and last night serves as a confirmation of that fact. Now, you’ve given yourselves to each other, and all that’s left to do is set the date for the wedding.

A few minutes pass by with Jaehyun simply admiring you. Very lightly he traces his hand over your back, loving the way you shiver underneath his fingertips, for it only makes him recall how you were trembling beneath him in bliss merely hours before. He could stay like this with you forever, but unfortunately, he needs to attend to some final arrangements for the royal announcement of your wedding ceremony.

Letting out a small sigh, disappointed he has to leave you for the time being, he slides out of bed. The glint of the ring on your left hand in the morning light catches his gaze, only causing a small smile to form at his lips. Last night could not have been more perfect.

Moving as silently as he can so as not to disturb you, he exits your room.

It takes him longer than he would have liked to get ready that morning, his movements feeling a bit sluggish the more he has to move around. It’s almost as if his senses have dulled slightly for the time being, for his hearing isn’t as sharp as it usually is, nor his sense of smell. Perhaps these are simply side effects of his mood, for he knows when he’s overcome with emotions he can never think straight, let alone react in an orderly manner.

Making his way through the castle, he finally enters the throne room, having requested to meet Minho there to discuss everything that still needs to be done for the upcoming ceremonies. However, what he isn’t expecting to see is another person standing with their arms crossed in front of their chest beside a very nervous looking Minho.

“What is the meaning of this?” Jaehyun’s voice practically booms across the room, demanding their attention.

“Your Highness, I’ve been attempting to escort Miss Lori out of the castle and back to her home, but she simply will not go until she speaks with her older sister,” Minho explains, words coming out rushed as he looks towards Jaehyun frantically.

“Is there anything I can help you with? Your sister is currently still resting in her chambers,” Jaehyun continues to play the nice card. He’s gotten this far despite not needing anyone’s approval, but that still doesn’t mean he won’t try for you.

“Cut the bullshit, you’re not fooling me,” Lori narrows her eyes at him, only causing Jaehyun to raise his brows amusedly.

“Is there a reason that you’ve come to talk with your sister then?” Jaehyun asks, already bored with this conversation, yet still feigning interest and concern. Again, he’d do anything for you, even if it means something as trivial as this.

“I’ve come to collect my sister and take her back home,” Lori answers. “Away from you.”

Jaehyun’s expression falls, immediately darkening at the threat apparent in her voice, “I don’t think you understand the situation you’re in here.”

“No, I don’t think you understand your situation,” Lori counters, causing Minho to send her a look filled with nothing but distress. “I’ve seen through your little ‘nice guy’ act long ago thanks to your mother, and I’ve finally come to save my sister from whatever you plan to do to her. She’ll listen to me this time, she always has. I’m taking my sister back home with me, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

The confidence in which she says those words irritate Jaehyun to no end. Though, he supposes he finds this situation rather ironic, causing him to let out a few laughs in disbelief. How dare Lori threaten him of all people. Like she could ever do anything to tear the two of you apart now, considering what occurred last night. After all, the two of you are to be bonded for life.

“You came all this way to threaten me? Me, of all people?” He chuckles maliciously, shaking his head in disbelief. “You think I’m just going to let you waltz in here and steal what rightfully belongs to me? That I’d even let you near what’s mine?”

“Your threats don’t scare me, I know you won’t do anything to me,” Lori raises her chin in the air in defiance, a smug look resting on her face. Clearly the letters his mother had sent her are still giving her a false confidence on this matter.

In a flash, he’s in front of her, holding her in the air by her neck. The hold his hand has around her throat is firm enough for it to be a threat, but not hard enough to completely block her airway just yet. “You underestimate the lengths I am willing to go to keep what is mine. I’ve spent too long planning everything out and making sure things run smoothly in order for things to get where they are now. I’m not giving my love up so easily.”

“Then, obviously you wouldn’t harm her own sister!” She manages to choke out, gaze darting off to his right as if something, or someone has caught her eye. His grip only serves to tighten ever so slightly as his eyes flash red.

“Wouldn’t I?” He hums, tilting his head in false sympathy. “I mean, considering I disposed of my own mother who got in the way, what’s a measly little human girl compared to that?”

Minho can do nothing but watch as this event unfolds before his very eyes, taking a few steps back in order to give the Prince space to do what he has to. His own heart is pounding in his chest out of fear, so he can only imagine how Lori feels in this very moment.

“It’d be so easy for me to cover up your death, so don’t flatter yourself,” Jaehyun seethes, eyes crazed as he stares into hers. “I’ve done everything I can to rid myself of nuisances in my way. So, what’s one more?”

Shifting his predatory gaze, he locks eyes with Minho, waiting for the advisor to speak and confirm his words.

“Yes, Your highness, you’re correct,” Minho swallows nervously, he’s never seen Jaehyun like this before. The intense insanity in his eyes nearly has Minho stumbling over his own feet despite standing perfectly still. He knows something must have happened last night after the engagement party, otherwise there’s no way he would be looking like that right now.

“You’re nothing,” he hisses. “A measly little human whose life will end at the flick of my wrist, worth no more that the servants I’ve killed beneath my feet. Poor Greta, only wanted to warn the love of my life about me, and look what that got her,” he feigns a pout, “only her throat ripped out.”

Lori gasps, remembering how you mentioned to her that one of the servants you met on one of your first days here seemed to have suddenly disappeared, never to be seen again.

“Not to mention the countless other lives I’ve taken for even looking at my love the wrong way. Or maybe, perhaps I should say poor Ben, who only got his skull run through for providing the wrong information about my love’s favourite foods,” Jaehyun tuts, shaking his head. “Bastard could have ruined everything. Just as you are trying to do.”

Lori can feel the breath being squeezed out of her lungs as Jaehyun slowly crushes her airway. She attempts to claw at the hands around her neck to no avail, legs kicking out uselessly beneath her. 

“Don’t you ever think for one second I’d let you take away what I’ve worked so hard to achieve,” he spits, venom dripping from every syllable as he crushes her throat, bringing his other hand up and tearing her head off in the next moment in his anger. “Worthless scum.”

Lori’s head hits the floor with a loud thump, her blood pooling around her now discarded body as lifeless eyes stare up at Jaehyun in fear. He shakes his head in disgust, pulling out a handkerchief to wipe off the blood that had managed to get on his hands. 

“Clean this up,” he orders, turning to Minho to see him nod once in understanding.

Closing his eyes, he shakes his head. So much for his pleasant morning. 

Turning around, Jaehyun sighs, eyes still closed. His face is still contorted into an expression of annoyance, brow furrowed as he takes a deep breath. He can feel his whole body tense as he recognizes a familiar faint scent in the air.

Slowly, he opens his eyes, realizing in horror that you stand in the open doorway of the throne room. Your hands are both raised over your mouth, as if to cover a silent scream as tears stream down your face. He can feel his dead heart falter in his chest as he watches you. The fear you look at him with is something he never ever wanted to see from you, especially directed towards himself.

A few moments pass by with the two of you just silently observing the other. Jaehyun hates how it’s only now that he can seemingly hear the loudness of your racing heart, your scent becoming stronger the more time you spend staring at one another. All that he had worked so hard to create, everything he’s done to impress you, to woo you and make you fall in love with him, is now ruined. It’s only all confirmed when he sees you turn and attempt to run away from him.

In an instant, he’s run to you, caging you in his arms and holding you tightly. Your screams and protests are falling on deaf ears as he holds you to his chest. His attempts to quietly shush you and calm you down are not working, with you only seeming to struggle harder against him, spouting insults and curses at him. 

“Sweetheart, please,” he sighs, “I need you to calm down.”

“Calm down?” You’re hysterical at this point. “Calm down? You just murdered my little sister in front of my very eyes and you have the audacity to tell me to calm down?”

“I did it for us,” he replies calmly, voice sounding completely opposite to how he really feels inside at the moment. “She would have only gotten in the way.”

He’s not entirely sure how you managed to sneak up on him, but he assumes that he didn’t hear you due to his dull senses this morning. The fact that you’re covered in his scent is probably why he didn’t smell you right away, too. Either way, he’ll do his best to steer the conversation in a direction which suits him, considering he doesn’t exactly know how long you had been standing there for. However, your next words only serve to confirm just how long you had.

“And I suppose your mother, Greta, Ben, and who knows who else were all collateral, too?” You retort, anger and disgust shining in your eyes which only causes his grip to tighten ever so slightly around you.

“Yes,” he answers, but he isn’t stupid enough to believe you’ll willingly accept his reasonings. “They were. I don’t expect you to understand why I’ve done what I have yet, but if you think I’m ever going to let you go, you’re mistaken. And before you say you hate me, I just want you to think back on everything I’ve ever done for you since you’ve been here. I want you to remember all the moments we’ve shared together, especially the good ones. Especially last night,” a shiver runs down your spine as he whispers those words lowly in your ear before trailing his lips down your neck, pressing them against the same spot he did the previous evening. Your struggling lessens as he continues, “I’d never do anything to harm you, I think my actions towards you have shown that. I never wanted you to be scared of me. Why do you think I never showed you this side of me yet?”

“You really are a devil,” you spit, finally giving up your attempts to escape his hold for you know that it’s futile at this point. You’ve long been trapped in his clutches, you just only wish you’d realized it sooner.

“A devil who loves you,” he hums, nuzzling his face deeper into your neck and breathing in your combined scents. A shiver goes down his spine. At least now he doesn’t have to worry about hiding this side of himself from you any longer. Plus, you now know what he’s capable of; what he’s willing to do for you. What he’s always been willing to do for you. “I always get what I want, so don’t even think about leaving me. You sealed your fate the moment you agreed to become mine.”

“I hate you,”

He simply chuckles, “that’s not what you were saying last night.”

“Yeah, well, things change,” you reply, refusing to so much as look in his direction as he holds you from behind.

“That they do,” he hums once more, clearly amused by your stubbornness. In the next moment, his eyes are going dark, expression deadly serious as he turns you around to stare deeply into your eyes. A shiver goes down your spine. “One thing that hasn’t changed though, is the fact that whether you like it or not, you can never escape me. I love you, and I will always love you, so you better get used to that. After all, a King should never be without his Queen.”

[realcube]

haikyuu!! boys with a s/o that becomes clingy/affectionate while drunk

characters: kyōtani, kenma, iwaizumi, matsukawa and bokuto

thank you anon for this marvellous request mwah

ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP!

tw// drinking, suggestive themes, sexual references, swearing

Kentarō Kyōtani

kyōtani was used to having a cool, laid-back s/o who was just as awkward about physical touch as he was 

i mean, that’s kinda a part of the reason he liked you so much - so y’all could get over your awkwardness together

so imagine his surprise when his usually level-headed, calm s/o came stumbling out of the club, a blubbering mess and threw themselves into his arms, wailing something about a maths test

THE AMOUNT OF EMOTIONS THAT FLOODED HIS MIND IN THAT ONE MOMENT OMFG ADFGHJKL

he was like ‘omg why are they touching me? i kinda like it- wait are they crying? tf? i ain’t ever seen them cry before- should i help them? lord everyone is looking at us now. so what the fuck do i do- AYE DON’T TOUCH ME THERE’

so he had no choice but to dip with you flung over his shoulder lol

he took you back to your shared apartment and forced you to drink some water and instead of ordering a take-out, he just gave you his leftover burrito which he took to the club smh

it was probably cold 

but that was the best he could think of at the time bc he simply needed to shut you up with food bc the alcohol in your system was causing you to become especially touchy, hence resulting in kyōtani getting especially aroused

but the last thing he’d do is fuck you while you’re drunk and i firmly believe that despite the fact kyōtani is a bit of a lout - he still has like a basic moral compass

but i mean if you kept being so damn suggestive then it was gonna be a lot harder for him to resist his urges

you were rubbing him up and shit, calling him every pet name in the book so ofc he just stuck a burrito in your mouth and went ‘stfu 😡’

the painful part was that he was silently enjoying it too (┬┬﹏┬┬)

(though, he was red from blushing lol, not anger) 

and he wasn’t used to it either so obviously he was gonna get flustered, i mean, everything was happening all at once

oh and you told him ‘i love you’ and he literally combusted like lord have mercy on this man 

just that morning you were calling him your ‘annoying rat boyfriend’ (jokingly, ofc) and now you love him?-

that wasn’t the first time you told him that you loved him but he was still blushing none the less 

and he stammered out a ‘love you too’ PRAYING that you wouldn’t remember any of this the following day

anyway, he cuddled you to sleep and railed you as soon as you sobered up - the end ❤

Kenma Kozume

pov: you’re kenma happily being a wallflower in the club then your s/o approaches you, demanding for you to fuck them 

- ok, end of POV - 

anyway, your speech was slurred so kenma wasn’t really sure if that was what you were asking him to do but if it was, he would’ve happily obliged if it wasn’t for the fact you were clearly drunk

mans was blushing though

bc y’all hardly ever do it but now - all of a sudden - you were tightly wrapped around him, garbling erotic threats into his ear

kenma was worried at first but you were like..really weak

so it wasn’t hard to get you off his torso, usher you out of the club and grip your hand as he ordered a taxi 

also kenma had read enough wattpad fanfictions to know how to deal with someone while they’re drunk 

but none of those fanfictions ever mentioned a single thing about how to deal with yourself while your partner is drunk

like seriously..he was in pain

both from the throbbing erection he had and the aching embarrassment he felt - both stemming from the fact you tried to give him a lap dance in taxi ✋ please oml

anyway, he took you back to his apartment and insisted that you have a few slices of the left-over pizza in the fridge along with a glass of water

after you changed into your pyjamas, you had clearly sobered up slightly as you could now compose coherent sentences

but that wasn’t any better for him bc now you were draped over him, whimpering into his ear about how much you love him

‘i’m so lucky to have you, kenma. i love you so much. you remind me of my first cat - you’re such a cat- i mean, blessing..you’re such a blessing.’ 

ngl, at that point he would be at a loss for words, just deciding to hug you until you fall asleep

like he finds it so cute that you’re finally opening up to him about how you feel as you’re usually quite composed and restrained 

but also- what does he do now? 

you eventually fell asleep in his arms and the next day, you woke up to kenma having made breakfast and telling you how much he adores you which was..confusing, to say the least

he told you about how you acted when you were drunk and to say you were embarrassed would be an understatement 

also, he’ll tease you about it for the rest of your life ;)

Hajime Iwaizumi

literally all you had to do was send him a text like ‘iwa...,,.,...ily so mycj ❤’’ and he’s already waiting in the line to get into the club lol

he marches in there, finds you, grabs your hand and drags you home 

let’s hope that your friends know what iwaizumi looks like so they don’t have to just watch a random guy haul you out the club-

and tries to act all like angry iwaizumi >:( but when you are trailing behind him, muttering about how amazing he is, he becomes more like angy iwa grrr (* ￣︿￣)

by that, i mean that angry iwaizumi would bring you home and lecture on how irresponsible it is to get so intoxicated 

but angy iwa just takes care of you but with a disapproving scowl 

and angry iwaizumi would make nasty, bitchy remarks about how inappropriate your outfit is 

while angy iwa would be like ‘babe, your outfit is lovely but maybe wear something different next time, idk....’

either way, he takes good care of you 

he makes sure you eat (and he cooks good food btw - he doesn’t make you eat leftovers lmao) 

he lets you change into more comfortable clothes

he ensures that you don’t die in the shower 

and he forces you to go to bed

but all of that is rather difficult when you’re clinging to him like your life depends on it, raving on about how sweet of a boyfriend he is and covering his face sloppy kisses

his original plan was to go train some more in his gym (yes, there is a gym in y’alls house-) but when you were peppering his cheek in kisses, begging him to stay with you for whatever reason, of course he didn’t have the balls to leave

 so he ended up laying like a log in bed as you cuddled up to him like koala, resting your head in his chest and allowing him to run his hand through your hair as you slept

in that moment - as he stared down at your tranquil figure - he realised how grateful he was for moments like these, as he finally got see a side of you that he knew you’d almost never exhibit when you’re sober

like yeah, you often tell him how much you love him but he can always tell that it’s as if you’re setting aside your pride to say such a thing but now, you’re gushing on about it with the most genuine look in your eyes, he can tell that you’re being completely sincere 

and to say that he adores it would be an understatement 

so yeah, you were kind of a pain while drunk but you were also the most adorable thing that iwaizumi had ever laid his eyes on (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Issei Matsukawa

ok so the only reason matsukawa wasn’t getting drunk with you was bc the first time y’all got drunk together he got fined for public indecency and you got done for public intoxication

so you decided that it was best (for your wallets) if you took turns getting tipsy

emphasis on ‘tipsy’ bc you both went to the bar together (along with a few friends) and you promised matsukawa that you’d only have a few drinks 

so please explain to him why he is now having to carry you bridal style out of the bar because you are too hammered to walk properly 

and he was kinda grumpy bc he had to leave his friends mid-conversation bc not only were you pestering him but also, the erotic things you were whispering in his ear caused him to get a boner

and he was getting weird looks from people as he carried you home but that was the least of his problems tbh- he didn’t even notice lol

the biggest issue on his mind rn was the fact that you made him hard yet you can’t help him bc you’re drunk smh 

like he was tempted at first bc you seemed down to do it but he quickly came back to reality and realised how morally incorrect that’d be 

so he was mumbling curses the whole way home just to tune you out bc if he paid any more attention to the racy promises you were muttering in his ear- he’d explode

he’s alright at taking care of you like he isn’t iwaizumi’s level of caring but he’s a close second, i mean he’s gotten drunk plenty of times so he knows the basics

he was like ‘drink water idk lol ’

anyway, once he handled himself he wasn’t too fazed by your lustful advances

and he was so smug about it too deadass like ‘keep talkin’ me up, (y/n), you ain’t getting shit until you’re sober.’

smh ANYWAY he thinks you’re so charming when you’re like lovey-dovey drunk but SO annoying when you’re horny drunk bc like- he can’t get some (T_T)

Kōtarō Bokuto 

best for last 👌

ok anyway he’s an athlete and he doesn’t need alcohol to have a good time- he’s forever drunk tbh- drunk on life :)

so while you’re getting hammered with your pals, he’s doing stupid shit while sober lol

once you both rendezvous outside the club to head home and you’re absolutely steamin- he’s just like ‘hi, babe! how’s your night been?’

SO OBLIVIOUS OML

anyway, he drives back to y’alls house and since you’re fatigued at first, you spent 90% of the car ride sleeping

but when you get home, more awake, you’re all up on him

but you’re not like sensual drunk- more like..emotional drunk but with love 🥺

so basically you are sobbing into his chest about whatever and bc he is an such empath he will start crying too, or at least get a bit emotional 

you could say something like, ‘omg, bo. i hardly get to see you because you’re at work so often- i wish i could spend more time with you. i miss you so much’  ╯︿╰

and he would deadass reply whole-heartedly while weeping into your shoulder, ‘I’M QUITTING VOLLEYBALL, (Y/N)!!’

(ok, so maybe he was a bit tipsy too- but like..definitely not has drunk as you)

he has no idea where to start when it comes to taking care of you but he tries (´◡` ‘) 

at the very least, he ensures that you don’t having any more alcohol and that you don’t die somehow 

he’s v overprotective though 

you could be getting a fork to eat your instant-noodles with and he’ll be like 

‘apologies ✋ but i cannot allow you to handle such a dangerous weapon while intoxicated. maybe eat with a spoon instead, idk.’ /h

other than that, he just cuddles you to sleep and deals with you in your badly hungover state the next day

[midnight-dreamerness]

Home

summary: Chris goes on a mission and doesn't return.

pairing: Chris Redfield x Reader

warning: mentioned of death. Lots of angst tbh.

word count: 2k

~~~~

You knew what you signed up for when you said yes to going on a date. You knew there was a possibility that he wouldn’t come home. It was a risk you were willing to take to be loved by him. And he did. He did love you. More than anyone. He promised to marry you one day. He said he wanted to have children and settle down in a small town and live out the rest of his life with you, but there was something he had to do first.

So he left. He had been gone for three months when Leon knocked on your door. You saw the look on his face and that’s all it took for your world to come crashing down.

You didn’t do much after that. You stayed inside, playing what Leon said over and over until you had cried yourself to sleep.

“There was a problem. He had to go back in, but…the place exploded. They never found a body. I’m sorry.”

You cried and cried and cried. For months that’s all you did. No one could come through to you, not even Claire, who was going through something similar. You hated that she was handling it better than you were.

Claire stayed with you, but it wasn’t long before she had to go back to work. You didn’t even say anything when she told you she was leaving, simply buried your head into Chris’s pillow. But when you heard the door shut, you cried harder.

She reminded you of him. Her stubbornness. Her attitude.

She wouldn’t let you wallow all day. She made you get up. Made you eat. Made you wash your hair even though it was the last thing you wanted to do. But that did stop you from dying inside. Your clothes started to hang off your body, it got even worse after she left. You sleep all the time but your eyes still help dark bags under them. You didn’t care. What was the point? You had no one anymore. You were a shell of the person you used to be. When he died, he took your heart with him.

Leon had taken it upon himself to make sure you were okay. He came ever so often, restocked the fridge, made sure everything was okay before he left again. But there was something about this visit that made him stay. He looked into Chris’s room, watching your unsteady breathing as you slept. Even asleep, you couldn’t function right without him, without Chris.

So when you woke up he told you he was moving in, to which you protested. You argued that you didn’t need anyone to take care of you, you could do it yourself.

“Look at what you're doing to yourself!” He argued, making you stand in front of your full length mirror. You glanced over yourself with teary eyes. Your skin was dull and your eyes lacked any sort of emotion but sadness. Your clothes looked two sizes too big and you could clearly see your cheek bones. You took in a breath and placed your hand over your mouth.

“Do you think Chris would want this for you?” Leon asked, cradling you in his arms. You shook your head as an answer and pulled him close. You missed him so much that it hurt. All you did was cry and sleep. Every little thing reminded you of him. This apartment reminded you of him. You knew deep down that you needed to leave to get better, but you were afraid you would forget him. And you didn’t want that. He was your first everything. And he was supposed to be your last, you hated that he wouldn’t get to be.

You decided a couple days later that you would be moving in with Leon. Just until you felt like you could make it on your own again. And it was great. You applied for a job, to get your mind off of things. Although you had been working at the BSAA at the time of Chris’s….. You decided it was best that you found another, one that would get your mind off of him instead of filling it with the memories you both had together.

You did find one, pretty quickly actually.

You stuffed the tip the lovely couple left you into the pocket of your apron and headed to the back with the empty plates and cups.

“Did you see the way that guy was staring at you?” Trisha, my new friend and coworker, says as she walks inside the back beside me. You groan at her eagerness and place the dirty dishes on the tray to be washed.

She giggles and walks with you back out Into the front where you start wiping down the front counter.

“Yes. I did notice, Trish.”

She begins to gush as to how cute you both would be and how perfect your children would look.

You avoided the conversation all together, the way he stared at you sent shivers down you alone and triggered memories you didn’t want to remember in that particular moment. Your heart began to ache again. Luckily, you got to head home early today.

You were ready to talk about what happened with Leon, who surprisingly had the day off.

“Why haven’t you told her?” Leon asked, setting the table for dinner. You shrugged and picked at your nails as you leaned up against the kitchen counter.

“She’s your friend. You need to tell her.”

“I don’t like talking about it.”

“We’re technically talking about it now.”

A huff leaves your lips and you fall into your seat at the table. You glance up at him for a moment. He stared down at you with his arms folded over his chest and a knowing look etched across his face. You look around the room, trying not to give into his stare. You notice another plate set and you ask him about it, to which he responded:

“First of all, don’t change the subject. Tell her. And second, Claire is coming over.”

You mumble under your breath and fold your arms, like a child. Leon chuckles.

“I love you. And I love that you’ve found someone you clicked with aside from the cat down the street.”

You go to protest but you're cut off by the sound of the door bell ringing. You get up and walk alongside Leon to answer the door, grumbling under your breath. Claire stood there, an unreadable expression on her face. You hadn’t taken notice of the tall man standing behind her. But when you did, your eyes began to fill with tears

“There’s something I need to-“

“Chris?”

His eyes meet yours for a short moment before he’s crashing into you. His arms wrapping around your waist tightly, afraid if he let you go he’d lose you all over again. You were in shock. Your body is frozen and not yet reacting to the feeling of him. It was familiar and warm. It was what you ached for when you woke up in the middle of the night. It was what you were missing when he was gone, when you thought he was dead.

“Princess?”

The nickname. It reached out and pulled you in. You reacted instantly, a sob leaving your lips and you grabbed him and held him tightly.

“I thought - I thought -“

“Shh. I know. I’m here now.”

You rest against his chest, his scent radiating over you, making you cry harder. He had come back to you. This had to be a dream, you were scared to death that it was.

“It’s been 7 months, Chris. Where were you?”

Leon glanced down at the sleeping girl as she snuggled into her returned lover. She fit so perfectly in his arms, he couldn’t lie. He was happy that she got him back.

“I had no choice but to stay away. There was…someone after me. I had to take care of the problem.”

“For 7 months? Do you realize how much that took a toll on her?”

Chris glared Leon down, who simply ran his hands over his face in frustration.

“She’s been a mess. Ask Claire.”

Claire adjusted herself comfortably but awkwardly in her chair. Her eyes trained on her shoes.

“Claire-“

“You weren’t here, Chris. We are so glad to have you back. But you should’ve called. Should’ve sent a letter. She was killing herself.”

Chris felt awful for what happened. He couldn’t let anyone know he was alive, it would’ve put them in danger. He hopes one day they’ll understand that. He knew you would.

He explained it to them. How everything went down, and why he had to do what he did to keep them/you alive.

“Tell me. How was she?”

Leon explained it to him as simply as he could. How she wouldn’t eat, didn’t go out, barely talked at all. Chris hugged her tighter to his chest as he soaked in everything. Every word that came from Leon’s mouth made him grimace.

“She’s taking pills to help her sleep at night. She’s even got a job down the street. Working at Sally’s.”

“We’ll I’m here now. And I don’t plan on going anywhere.”

It was the next day when you woke up. You jumped out of bed and looked around. You were alone. Tears entered your eyes as you had come to the conclusion that it was a dream. Chris wasn’t here. He didn’t come home. You sat down on the bed and sobbed, holding your hands to your chest.

“Baby? What’s wrong?”

Chris rushed towards you and bent down to meet your eyes. They widened and relief spread through your body like a wildfire. You wrapped your arms around his neck.

“God, I thought it was a dream.”

Chris chuckled under his breath and lifted you up by your thighs. He turned and sat on the bed and readjusted you so you were sitting comfortably on his lap. You squeal and giggled as he sat you down, smiling and pecking his lips.

“I’m sorry I was gone so long.”

You shake your head and peck his lips again.

“I'm glad you're here. Chris, I -“

“They told me everything. I’m done. I’m retiring. And I’m going to give you that life I promised you.”

Butterflies filled your stomach and you couldn’t help the tears that slid down your face. Excitement isn’t a big enough word to describe how you were feeling. You were so happy to have him back. It felt like years since he had been gone, not even gone. You thought he was dead, in your mind you were never getting him back. But here he is. He has you in his lap, his hands resting on the curve of your hips, fingers tracing soft shapes into your exposed skin. Your eyes locked on each other, basking in the moment that you wanted to last forever.

He was home.

He was home in your arms.

“Marry me?”