#I FUCKING FELL ASLEEP SO IM AN HOUR LATE HELP

[quanticq]

[sunlightfeeling]

i feel like the biggest liar ever saying i have my life together…..

👍

[iwasntstable]

n.s. | if i'm there

🗀 C:/PROJECTS/MYWORK/ONESHOT/IFIMTHERE [projects] ﹂ [my-work] | in-progress | favourites 　﹂ all | series | [one-shot] | blurb | head-cannons | ask 　　﹂ fear-of-failure | nightmare | never-just-friends 　　　 stay-til-morning | new-neighbour | [if-im-there]

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➔𝐢𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧𝐭𝐬��𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞➔➔　𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘷𝘦!+　　[𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝐀𝐎𝟯]

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I didn't want to believe how much you needed help / And I just left you to be all by yourself / And now I wish I had seen that you weren't doing well / But I just came back to see how hard you fell Well, if I'm there to catch you when you fall / You'll have a friend down in Hell after all 　　— If I'm There - Bad Omens

summary: when things start getting bad, you withdraw. ignoring calls and texts, and descending into bad habits as you self-isolate. but noah knows what you're like and he loves you too much to let you suffer alone.

content tags: angst, emotional hurt/comfort, poor mental health, mentions of disordered eating, discussions of food, self-destructive behaviour, fluff.

word count: 3.8k.

note: having a rough time recently so enjoy the self-indulgent product of my stressing. 　　PS: please tell me if the layout of this post is fucked up so I can fix it for you.

Things are getting bad again. You find your sleep schedule sliding later and later, falling asleep in the early hours of the morning and waking in the afternoon, bypassing the day altogether. Meals are becoming infrequent and poor in quality. Appetite dwindling and opting to eat half a bag of microwave rice at 3am rather than dedicating time to creating a nutritious and satisfying meal. Truth be told, you didn’t have the energy to cook anything more, and the malnutrition itself likely played a part in that lack of energy. The trash was left to build up, and the laundry hadn’t been done in weeks.

The progression of all of this was gradual. So gradual, that by the time you recognised what was happening, it was all but too late to stop the rapid descent into your depression. And as the days go by, you start to withdraw into yourself. Messages from friends begin to go unanswered. You tell yourself you’ll reply later, when you have the mental bandwidth to engage in conversation. But later ends up being not at all. Too many days have passed, and you feel like it’s too late to reply now; you don’t know how. That includes your boyfriend.

　　　　　　　　　　　[Noah 💘]

　　　　　　 　　　　　Tuesday 　　　　　　　　　 　　10:45AM

— Morning! Do you wanna call later?    Miss your voice 

          morning! I have a headache —             right now and I feel like it's             not gonna go away :( I'll let                you know though.                 I miss you too ❤️ —

— Aw I'm sorry :( — I hope you feel better soon — Text me later and let me know    how you are ❤️

　　　　　　　　　 　　02:27PM

— Hey babe how are you feeling?

             my head still hurts :( —

— Want me to come over and look    after you? — Have you eaten yet?

       you don't have to do that, I'd be —            shitty company anyway                   just wanna sleep —

— Okay :( — I'll text you later tonight so    you can sleep

　　　　　　　　　 　　10:09PM

— How are you feeling? — Are you sleeping? — Hope you’re resting well. Text    me when you wake up so I know    you’re okay — I love you ❤️ — Goodnight ❤️

　　　　　　 　　　　Wednesday 　　　　　　　　　 　　08:41AM

— Morning, how’re you feeling?

　　　　　　　　　 　　09:13AM

— Are you awake? — Babe, are you okay?

      hey! sorry I was still asleep. I feel a —       little better but my head still hurts :(

— I’m gonna cancel today and come    over — I don’t want you to be alone when    you’re not well 

       no don’t do that, i’m okay really —              you know this happens          sometimes. I just wanna rest,            you don’t have to cancel for        me. not when work is important

— You’re important too — Please let me look after you

          I love you and I love that —           you want to be here for me,         but all I want to do right now                   is sleep

          I don’t want you to cancel —           important schedules just           to watch me sleep all day                I’ll feel better soon.             just need to give it time. —

— I’d cancel to sit and watch you sleep    in a heartbeat — I love you, I just want you to be okay — I have to go, I’ll text you later okay?

         I’ll text you back when I can, —            if I don’t reply I’m probably          asleep so don’t worry have a                good day I love you —

　　　　　　　　　 　　10:26PM

— Hey babe sorry I didn’t text all day I    was so fucking busy — How’re you doing now? — Are you sleeping again?

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 10:31PM]

— Text or call me when you wake up,    even if it’s the middle of the night I’ll    leave my sound on — I love you ❤️

　　　　　　 　　   　　Thursday 　　　　　　　　　 　　08:41AM

— Hey, are you awake?

　　　　　　　　　 　　08:55AM

— Hello??

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 08:59AM]

— Message me when you wake up

　　　　　　　　　 　　12:20PM

— Babe?? — I’m worried — Even if you don’t wanna talk can     you please let me know you’re okay?

　　　　　　　　　 　　12:46PM

— Babe please answer me

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 12:48PM]

　　　　　　　　　 　　01:20PM

     hey, sorry I missed your messages —         I’m okay sorry for worrying you —

— I was just about to come over — I still might — I’m worried about you

           please don’t I just don’t —          wanna see anyone right now

— Even me?

                  I’m sorry —             I’ll text you tomorrow — — If that’s what you want — I love you

　　　　　　　 　   　　　Friday 　　　　　　　　　 　　03:47PM

— I don’t want to bother you, I’m     trying to give you space if that’s    what you need — But I’m worried about you — You haven’t messaged me all day — Did I do something wrong?

　　　　　　　　　 　　04:10PM

— Babe please answer me

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 04:12PM]

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 04:15PM]

　　　　　　　　　 　　04:18PM

— Your friends said they haven’t heard    from you in days — What’s going on? You can talk to me. — You don’t have to talk to me if you    don’t want to but text someone back,    please — I just wanna know that you’re okay

　　　　　　　[MISSED CALL: 04:23PM]

And that’s how Noah ended up outside your door. Banging incessantly and shouting your name through the wood. You could hear him from where you were wrapped up in bed, but you were half hoping he would just drop it and go away. Realising quickly, however, the futility of that hope when you heard another voice join the sound of his. That of your neighbour, the nosy one from the house on the right.

You groan and throw the blanket off yourself, flinching a little when your feet touch the cold floor. You have no choice but to go downstairs, and no time to change your appearance. Hoping to whatever God will listen that Noah doesn’t make a comment on the clothes you’d been wearing for the past week before you can get in the shower and change.

“I’m just really worried about her,” you can hear the unmistakable tone of Noah’s voice through the door before you even open it.

Hesitating for a moment with your hand on the door handle, you decide to eavesdrop on the conversation. “I haven’t seen her for, ohhh let me think... has to be about a week now,” despite the man’s voice wavering with age, it came loud and clear through the door. An unfortunate side effect of his hearing loss.

“A week?!” Noah exclaimed. Having enough of the old man sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong, you unlock the door quickly, wrenching it open and taking a surprised Noah by the arm.

“Oh! Nice to see you, dear. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” The old man sneers.

“Yeah, nice seeing you, Trevor,” you barely extend him a glance as you drag Noah in through your doorway, slamming the door closed and turning the key. You let out a deep sigh, your palms and forehead resting against the cool wood.

Noah calls your name softly. You squeeze your eyes tight and take in a breath before you turn to face him. Putting on the best phoney smile you can muster.

“Sorry about him, he’s always in everyone’s business. What are you-”

“He said he hasn’t seen you in a week,” he says matter-of-factly. There’s no hint of a smile on his face. “Your friends said they haven’t heard from you in days either, and you’ve been ignoring my texts. And calls.”

Your heart seizes at the sadness in his eyes. He stands there in your front room, his usual sweatpants and hoodie, but he just looks so defeated. You always tell him he looks like an upset puppy when he’s sad, and the puppy-dog eyes are working overtime on you right now. “I told you, I’ve just been busy, and I-”

“And you had a headache, and you missed my texts, and you didn’t want to talk,” his voice was as stern as his expression. You knew he wasn’t an idiot. That there’s no way he’d believe your—at best—flimsy excuses. You stand frozen to the spot, fiddling with the edge of your sleeve. Picking at the stitches, trying to distract yourself from the lump forming in your throat. “Aren’t you going to say anything?” Noah questions.

You swallow roughly, “I don’t know what you... I don’t-”

He says your name firmly and takes a step towards you, “I’m going to ask you how you are, and I would like you to answer me honestly.”

Feeling your heart begin to race in your chest, you swallow again, but it does nothing to get rid of the tightness in your throat. Or the dizziness creeping up on you.

“Are you doing bad again?” He sounds softer this time, and you almost wish he would just scream at you because when he’s kind and attentive like this, you can’t help but crumble and shut down.

You clench your jaw as your breathing gets quicker, shallower, and you feel the unmistakable burn of tears in your eyes. “I’m fine,” your voice comes out cracked and weak, not at all the sound of someone who's fine. 

“Don’t pretend you’re okay. Please don’t lie to me, because I know you’re not okay!” Noah crosses the room to meet you, holding his hands outstretched towards you, “what can I do for you? Please, I want to help.”

You cover your mouth as you choke back a sob, wrapping your other arm around your middle; you can’t hold it in anymore, and the floodgates open. Gasping for breath that seems to never come, you grip the front of your shirt tight in your fist, the clothing suddenly feeling suffocating and stiflingly hot.

“Oh, baby. Come here,” Noah takes you by the shoulders and pulls you into his chest, where you fall into him and cling onto him like he’s your only lifeline. “I need you to breathe for me, okay? Slowly, in and out,” he strokes soothing circles against your back as he demonstrates to you how to breathe. “Come and sit down here, yeah? The couch is right here.”

You barely register your legs moving for the numbness extending across your entire body, from your fingertips all the way down to your toes. Your tears are hot on your face, and every time you try to wipe them away, they’re just replaced by more in a never-ending stream. The room feels like it’s spinning around you as you move, only worsening the feeling of nausea rising in your throat. The plush cushions of the couch are a welcome relief.

“You’re holding your breath, I need you to breathe. Just how I am, that’s it,” he cradles your head to his chest through your shaky attempts to take in a breath through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth. Your breath hitches uncontrollably with every inhale, taking in tiny bursts of air at a time. Noah, though, has nothing but praise on his lips: “That’s it. You’re doing so well, just listen to my voice.”

You missed his voice. As you worsened and withdrew, you found any excuse to avoid going out to see him, and you had been ignoring his calls for days. You knew you were doing it, and you missed him desperately, but with every day that passed, you found it harder and harder to reach out. It was hard for you to reach out for help in the first place, hard for you to admit to anyone that you needed help. Hard to admit it to yourself. Opting instead to suffer in silence and just push through it until you finally broke. You didn’t know any other way.

The familiar presence of him by your side eases the pace of your racing heart, allowing each breath to come a little easier. A little calmer. “I hate to see you hurting like this,” he whispers into your hair, his hand stroking through it gently, working to soothe the seemingly unquenchable anxiety. “I want to help you, please let me help you.”

It broke your heart to hear the pain in his voice. You never wanted to hurt him, but that’s all you seem to do. That cold hand of dread tightens its grip on your chest again, panic filling your lungs and replacing all the air. “I’m sorry,” you barely choke out, gripping onto Noah tighter. Warring with yourself, wanting to hold him close, but feeling like you need to push him away.

“You don’t need to apologise, ever. I’m here, I’m right here,” he runs his hand up and down your back, cradling you close. He can’t help but notice that through the fabric of your shirt, the bones of your spine are ever so slightly more prominent than before. He keeps his mouth shut. Focussing instead on quelling your distress and holding you tight in his arms. 

“I just- I fuck everything up. I can’t do anything right, I don’t deserve your love, I don’t deserve you-” Once you start talking, you can’t stop, finally letting it all out until Noah cuts you off, incapable of hearing you degrade yourself anymore.

“No. No, that’s not even remotely true. Don’t say that about yourself,” he says firmly, holding you just a little tighter. 

You shake your head against him, “all I do is hurt people and push you away, and I don’t know how to stop. You don’t deserve that, you shouldn’t have to put up with me.”

“I don’t ‘put up with you’. I love you, and I want to be here for you. Whatever you need, whenever you need it.”

“You shouldn’t have to drop everything to come deal with me when you’re so busy. You deserve someone that isn’t so fucking hard to love.”

With that, Noah pushes you backwards by the shoulders, holding you there so he can look into your eyes when he speaks. “You are not hard to love. Loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever had the privilege of doing. You just…” He takes a deep breath, cupping your cheek and brushing away the tears from under your eyes. “You just need to let me in, and let me show you you’re just as worthy of love as anyone else is.”

The image of him blurs when the tears overflow from your eyes again, your face crumpling as you bow your head. “You’ll leave me," your voice shaking with the force of your sobs.

"Why would you ever think I'd leave you?" he asks, dismayed by your fear.

"Everyone always leaves," you tell him, voice brittle and quiet, shaking your head. "It's only a matter of time before you leave too."

"I love you," Noah feels tears prick at his own eyes. "I love you so, so much. And I'm not going anywhere." He lifts your head, once again brushing away your tears so he can look into your eyes, "please trust me to help you."

"I'm just so tired," you confess, and he pulls you into his arms again. 

“I can't promise to fix all your problems, but I can promise you won't have to face them alone. There’s nothing you could do that would drive me away. And the things that would, I know you’d never do,” he runs a comforting hand through your hair as you cry, his other arm secure around your waist. Your tears soak into his shirt, but he doesn’t mind. He wants you to give it all to him—all your sorrows, all your grief—so that he can bear it with you.

You desperately want to believe his words. To lean on him when you need him the most, but that insecure piece inside of you won’t let you yield. You don’t know how to open up to anyone without feeling like a burden.

Noah stays right there with you until the tears subside and your breathing evens out. Your head resting in his lap as he reassuringly strokes your hair, you feel the beginnings of a dull ache in your head that makes you drowsy. He rubs soothing circles into your back with his other hand, shifting slightly to get a better look at your face. “Have you eaten yet today?” He asks tentatively. Feeling your throat constrict under the pressure of guilt, you know you can’t lie to him. You know he sees right through you, so you decide to try being honest by shaking your head. “Want me to cook something for you? Or we can order something? My treat.”

You know he means well, but you don’t know how to say you don’t have an appetite without worrying him. He won’t let you go the entire day without eating, but all you want to do is sleep.

“Please talk to me,” he pleads, “I need to hear you.”

On a shaky breath, you settle for a half truth. “I don’t think there’s anything to cook.”

“That’s fine, we can order food then. What do you want?”

Chewing on your lip, you freeze. The silence stretches on far too long for you to be deciding what restaurant to order from, it’s clear you’re unable to answer.

Noah sighs your name, “you have to eat something.” 

“I know. I just… I just don’t want to,” he remains quiet, waiting for you to continue. “I don’t feel hungry. Thinking about it is overwhelming. I just want to sleep so I don’t have to think about it.”

“What have you been eating these past few days?” He asks cautiously, his tone light. Conscious to not sound accusatory.

You sigh, knowing there’s no way of escaping this. “Microwave stuff, mostly,” you play with the fabric of his sweatpants, feeling his leg underneath, fidgeting your anxiety away. “Rice, oats, ramen. Stuff I don’t have to wash up after.”

“Have you been eating every day?”

The question hangs heavy in the air, the tension only thickening when you answer "no,” barely above a whisper.

You feel him nod. Quiet for a moment until he too speaks so quietly, you almost didn’t hear it. “You can’t go on like this.”

“I know,” you confess.

“Please let me help you.”

The desperation in his voice is what does it—the final straw. You sit up straight, turning to face him. Wiping the residual tears from your cheeks and looking him in the eye. You know it’s time to really be honest. 

“It’s hard for me-” Your voice catches in your throat as the threat of crying again creeps up on you, not quite realising how much your body would resist. Taking a second to compose yourself—a deep breath in, eyes closed, releasing it slowly—your resolve strengthens and you continue. “It’s hard for me to open up to people. To admit when I’m struggling. I’m so used to feeling like I’m burdening everyone with my problems, so I just keep it all to myself. And by the time I realise I’m going down that road again, it’s too late to stop it.”

“It’s never too late,” Noah says reassuringly, tucking both sides of your hair behind your ears—the left first, then the right. “I mean this in the most loving way possible, but you don’t get to decide whether you’re a burden. You don’t get to take that choice away from me. The choice to help you. Your problems will never be a burden to me, no matter how big or small. You will never be a burden to me. I love you. I choose you. And I’ll never think poorly of you for needing help, ever.”

You don’t know what to say. Your eyes fixed on his. One of your favourite things about him is his big brown eyes. Always so full of comfort. So full of love that even you, with all of your self-doubt, can’t deny it. “I’m sorry. I know you said not to apologise, but I think I need to. I’m sorry for making you worry and for pushing you away. I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Noah takes your hands in his. Large palms enveloping your own entirely. “Seeing you hurting is what hurts me the most. I love you so much, all I want is for you to be happy and healthy.”

You squeeze his hands in yours, “I love you, Noah. I’ll try harder, I promise. Feeling so unwanted for so long before I met you, I think I didn’t realise just how lucky I am to have you until now.” Noah raises one of your hands, kissing the back firmly and holding it there, savouring the feel of your skin against his lips. Timidly, you ask, “can we get pizza?”

He breaks out into a smile, “of course we can! But you have to text your friends back first," he bargains, "even if it’s just something short.”

“Deal,” you can’t help but return his smile. “My phone is upstairs, I’m just gonna go get it.”

“Wait!” he calls as you stand, pulling you back to the sofa and into him with a hand on the back of your head, “can I kiss you first?”

Without a word, you lean into him, closing the gap between you and feeling his lips on yours for the first time in weeks. That familiar burn of tears threatening to escape your eyes returns, and when you pull away, those beautiful brown eyes are full of concern.

“It’s okay,” you reassure him, laughing awkwardly, “happy tears. I just missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” his smile taking on a more solemn appearance this time. “But I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. I love you, please don’t ever forget that.”

“Don’t forget that I love you too. No matter what happens. No matter how stupidly self-destructive I act.”

Noah pulls you in for one final embrace before letting you retrieve your phone. You spend time texting back each of your friends, apologising for your absence and telling them you were okay, that Noah is here, and you’d explain more later. Noah, sitting at your right, creates your pizza order, periodically asking what else you’d like adding.

The two of you spend the night watching trash TV, settling into your usual comfort and hurling insults at the characters for making stupid decisions while you eat your food. Only realising after it arrived just how hungry you really were. And when you’re finished eating, Noah and you head upstairs.

You feel like a new person after you shower, coming out of the bathroom to find Noah relaxed against your headboard. The sheets on your bed changed, and a fresh set of clothes lay waiting for you to change into for bed.

Accepting finally how much lighter everything feels when someone is around to help you. You slide under the clean sheets, comforted by the warmth of Noah’s body beside you for the first time in too long. And just as you fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat and the feeling of his hand stroking your back, you’re determined to never let things get this bad again. Knowing you need to trust him, because trust is the foundation of love, and you love Noah with every fibre of your being. And despite how hard it is sometimes, you need to let him love you back.

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[akaakeis]

midnight snack -- suna r.

synopsis - suna rintarou and yn are roommates. they both have the worst insomnia ever. one night, they decide to go out to a nearby convenience store, and the night ends on an unexpected, but good note.

wc :: 1671 .ᐟ

gn!reader x suna rintarou (2nd person)

notes//cw :: cursing,, mention of blood (used when talking about reader feeling flustered),, sorry if he's ooc!! i kinda just did this as self indulgence lmao,, not proofread!!

it's another quiet night in your room, the soft music coming from the headphones over your ears being the only thing making noise throughout the entirety of yours and suna's dorm. the recognizable melody of milk coming through your headphones is calming, but your mind can't help but run on and on. the muffled click of another door in the dorm opening can be heard outside of your room, signaling to you that suna is still awake. you let out a groan, stuffing a pillow over your face in frustration at the fact that you can't fall asleep. 

when you go to lift your head, your eyes are drawn to the glowing display of your alarm clock, the face of it reading 2:34 AM. 

"fuck..." you mutter, taking off your headphones and putting them on top of your bedside table as you grab your phone. the brightness of the screen's display lights up your face in the dimness of your room, waking you right back up.

unsure of what to do with yourself at such a late... or early hour, depending on how you view it, you open your messages app, texting suna.

yn:

sunaaaaa

suna pls

sunarin

rintarou

please dont tell me you fell asleep

suna:

what yn

yn:

I CANT SLEEP

like no matter what i do i cant just pass out 

im so annoyed ☹️

suna:

yeah me neither

yn:

is that all u have to say 💔

OH MY GOD WAIT

do you wanna go to the convenience store tgt

suna:

sure

you grin as you see his message, immediately slipping on a hoodie and some random tennis shoes so that you two can go to the convenience store together. you hear the soft click of a door closing outside of your room and faint footsteps that are approaching your bedroom door. after a brief moment of silence, a knock is heard, which you quickly answer by opening your door.

"hey, you ready?" suna asks lazily, looking down at your cozily clad figure, hands in his hoodie's pocket. you nod in response, looking down at his outfit in amusement. he's in a plain hoodie and pajama pants, and he's wearing some random sneakers with them.

"yeah, let's go!" you reply happily, the slight groggy tone in your voice audible. you grab your phone off of your nightstand and stick it in your hoodie pocket before exiting your bedroom and shutting the door behind you.

without another word, suna nods, following behind you as you lead the way to the convenience store near your guys' dorm. he puts an airpod into his ear, playing some music from his phone as the two of you walk. when you glance back at him, you notice the airpod in his ear and look at him curiously. you fall back into pace with him.

"whatcha listening to?" you ask, cocking your head to the side as you look over at him. suna doesn't reply, instead pulling out his airpod case and taking out his other airpod, handing it to you so you can listen to the song as well. you take it with amusement, a jolt of electricity running through you as your hand briefly brushes against his. when you put the airpod into your ear, a familiar melody begins to play: sleep walk.

the two of you walk together in silence, listening as suna's playlist continues to shuffle. you both occasionally brush against the other's shoulder or hand as you walk, but neither of you apologize. the silence, the brief contacts you two make with one another, it all feels so comfortable. 

before you know it, you've already arrived at the convenience store. suna pulls open the door, motioning for you to go in, which you do, saying a quick 'thanks' as you enter the shop. the fluorescent lights of the store shine down on you and suna as you both enter the store, and the shopkeeper can be heard muttering a 'welcome in' as the two of you walk further into the store. suna grabs a basket and follows you.

the two of you walk through the store aisle by aisle as you grab things you like. once you guys stop by the drinks, he starts letting out a soft laugh as he looks at the packaging for one of the drinks.

"wait, wait, wait." suna says, an amused lilt in his voice. as you turn to look at him, he takes you by the shoulders and turns you so that you're facing him, parallel to the shelf of drinks. his eyes dart from your face to the drink packaging, going back and forth for a moment before he bursts out laughing again, letting go of your shoulders. he has no idea, but now your heart rate is spiked now, and you can feel the blood rushing up to your ears (which were thankfully somewhat hidden by your hair).

"you look like the personification of this character," suna says, reaching behind you to grab a plastic bottle of some flavored drink. he lifts it in front of your face, lightly shaking the bottle. the packaging on the bottle had a little korilakkuma drinking something on it. his comparison gets a small giggle out of you as you lightly push his shoulder. 

"yeah?" you inquire, turning the shelf of drinks, scanning through their labels and designs before eventually finding a little juice box- it was an anpanman drink with a flying anpanman on its front. you grab the drink and lightly shake it in front of suna's face. "...and you like the personification of dear anpanman," you say, the delivery of your statement shaky from you holding back your laughter. suna jokingly tsks at your remark, taking the juice box into his hand along with the bottle he had shown you moments earlier. he tosses the two drinks into the basket along with the other snacks the both of you had grabbed while walking around.

"whatever, you just wanted to have a comeback," suna teases, starting to walk away without you, briefly glancing back to check if you're following.

you jog up to him, matching his pace and giggling. "so what? i'm right, you two look so similar!" you tease, knowing damn well you aren't anywhere near correct about it. you just find it funny to mess with him.

suna rolls his eyes, a slight smile on his face as he walks up to the shopkeeper's counter, putting down the basket of snacks and drinks. the two of you stand in silence as the shopkeeper rings up the items and tells you both the total. when you go to take out your phone and pay, suna puts his hand over yours, lightly pushing it to the side.

"i got it," he says, putting bills in the cash tray sitting on the counter. you're slightly surprised as you let out a soft huff. you quietly say thank you to him, to which he merely glances down at you and nods.

once suna purchases all the snacks, the two of you walk home side by side. his playlist is still on shuffle, the familiar melodies of the songs softly playing through the airpods the two of you are sharing. as you both continue to walk, you switch off between holding the bag of snacks and keeping your hands in your hoodie pockets. this drawls on until the two of you get back to the dorm, unlocking the front door and heading to the living room.

you sigh, putting the plastic bag down on the coffee table and flopping onto the couch. "that was fun, thanks again for buying the food," you say groggily, letting out a yawn. 

"yep," suna replies, letting out an amused huff. he drops down beside you on the couch, grabbing the plastic bag and sorting through the food and drinks in it. he tosses a couple bags of chips and candy into your lap along with the bottled drink that had korilakkuma on it. he takes out the remainder of the snacks and empties them out onto his own lap, starting to open up a jelly stick that he bought.

you laugh softly at the way he tosses the snacks and drink onto your lap and unwrap a brown sugar flavored bun, taking a big bite out of it. "mm, this is even better than i remember," you comment, sinking into the couch.

suna hums, sucking some of the jelly out of his jelly straw. "yeah, i think everything tastes better when it's bought and eaten late at night." he glances down at you once again, a slight smile on his face.

"so why couldn't you sleep, hm?" you ask, tilting your head towards him, ripping a piece off of your bun and eating it.

"that's a long story..." suna replies, "you wanna hear about it? it may help you fall asleep, honestly." 

you nod, turning towards him in your spot on the couch. "yeah, sure."

the two of you both end up talking about why you couldn't sleep for nearly an hour. that is, until you fall asleep.

"yeah, so i had been-" suna freezes when he feels a weight hit his left shoulder. he looks down and sees you, sound asleep with your head resting on his shoulder. his expression softens slightly, and he wraps an arm around you, sighing quietly.

"i didn't even get to finish talking, y'know." he says softly, taking a throw blanket that was folded over the armrest of the couch and putting it over both of you, smiling slightly when he sees your face. you looked so relaxed in your sleep. he wouldn't be against doing this more often, in fact, he kinda liked it.

you and suna both slept on the couch that night. his chin was rested on top on your head, and he had pulled you impossibly close to him, making sure that you can sleep comfortably. it's safe to say that both of you were content that night.

notes ::

₊ ⊹ i was inspired to write this after doing something similar with my own roommate last night ◡̈

₊ ⊹ kinda forgot to proofread this before putting into my tumblr drafts and i dont feel like trying to proofread it now so sorry if you guys find an error ദ്ദി ꒦ິ꒳꒦ິ )✧

₊ ⊹ any other works can be found on my masterlist! (it's pretty small at the moment since i just started though!!)

🏷️ : @hyenagoated , @causenessus + @bokukos <3

[purplecoffee13]

im a sucker for morning sex like, almost half asleep, barely talking, just quiet moans 😋Maybe friends to lovers

Ooh, yes!!! Absolutely love this concept😮‍💨

It’s a bit short, but I wrote this blurb around it just now. It’s currently 2am, but the inspiration struck and I just had to write it down!! (srry not srry😎😋) I hope it meets your expectations!!!

Thank you for requesting!!!💘

************************************************

Your eyelids softly flutter open at the warmth of the sunlight shining on your face. The harsh light makes you squint, and it makes you realize where you are, and with who. The arm wrapped around you confirmed enough, and you smile as you look at the inked arm draping over your frame.

You and Harry had been friends for forever, and you would hold movie nights almost every week. It often got very late, and the two of you would fall asleep in the couch.

Last night was no different. You had had a busy day at work, and was absolutely exhausted. You fell asleep mid movie, and you realize that Harry must’ve carried you to bed. You smile at that revelation, filled with a surge of love for your best friend.

In order to get the sunlight out of your face, you shift around, moving backwards a bit so your eyes aren’t being bothered by the harsh light. Your eyes widen when you feel something brush against your ass. Something that you are 99% sure you should absolutely not be feeling.

There is an increasing heat between your legs that you don’t even know the exact logistics of. It is like your body is telling you something you haven’t dared to consider before.

You try to move your hips forward a bit, attempting to stop the awkwardness. After all, Harry’s asleep, so you can go back to sleep and act like this never happened on a couple of hours.

That’s when you feel Harry’s grip on your waist tightening as he pulls your body back into him, his hardness now firmly pressed between your ass cheeks. You softly gasp at the sudden motion, and your heat begins to ache at the imagination of what could be.

The sole image in your head of him putting that dick inside of you makes you subconsciously grind your hips against him a bit, hoping to relieve some of the frustration that has been starting to build.

You try to be subtle about it, but the pain of being untouched begins to be too unbearable. Your stomach tenses when Harry’s hand suddenly begins to inch lower and lower, going under the waist band of your underwear and shorts, and finding your clit.

Rubbing drawn out circles on your hot wet cunt makes you sigh out in relief. His touch feels far too good to even second guess what the fuck the two of you are doing. The hitched breaths slowly morph into hushed whimpers, the faster Harry’s fingers work your pussy.

When he starts to leave love bites on your neck, you explode. Moaning out his name, you come all over his fingers, letting the pleasure hit you in the waves like it always does.

Without another word, Harry pulls down your shorts and underwear, which you take off completely with the help of your own legs. Arching into him, you wait as Harry takes out his hard cock and rub the tip against your now soaking wet pussy.

“Y’sure?” Harry’s rough morning voice asks, and it is enough to almost have you orgasm again. The low baritone sound is the hottest thing you’ve ever heard. You nod furiously.

“Yes, please. I need it.” You plead with him. Harry clearly doesn’t need to be asked twice, because he immediately pushes himself into you. You mewl at his long, deep thrusts. Each one hits just the right spot in a new, unexpected way.

There aren’t many words shared between the two of you, solely the sounds of your bodies intertwining with each other. His hand finds one of your breasts and fondles it as you both keep pushing into each other.

You bring your own fingers to your clit, working yourself closer to the second orgasm that is already brewing. Just the sounds of his heavy breathing and the beating of his heart would give you that wave of your euphoria.

Then a groan escapes Harry’s lips, but not just a groan. No, he groans your name, right in your ear, followed by a whispered profanity, as he drives himself deeper into you.

Forget the breaths and the heartbeat, the sound of your name rolling off his tongue in a situation like this is what brings you over the edge so quickly again. Your walls clench around him repeatedly as you softly cry out his name.

“F- fuck… shit.” Harry sighs after his thrusts come to a halt. With his face buried in your neck, he softly bites into your shoulder as he comes inside of you.

The feeling of his seed coating every bit of your walls drives your mind absolutely insane.

Harry stays inside of you as you both catch your breath. You can quite literally hear the pounding of your heartbeat ringing in your ear, and you can’t help but let out a breathy chuckle. Harry joins you in your soft, short-lived laughter.

You turn your head towards him, and Harry leans up a bit to meet your face as well. With a big smile, he looks you right in the eyes. No hint of regret, only a smug grin and a clear desire to repeat.

“Good morning.” You say in a joking tone. Harry observes the rest of your face, and pushes a strand of hair behind your ears before he responds.

“Very good morning.”

[stuniolvs]

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄? ~ christopher sturniolo

summary.) you have a bad day at work and you want chris to sing to you

warnings.) annoying people, description of tangled hair, and use of y/n (once).

you sighed glancing up at the clock of the office that you worked at realizing you still had an hour and a half left of work.

your boyfriend, chris, had suggested that you came over after work and of course you agreed, but now you felt like you didn’t even have enough energy to walk to your car.

it was one of those days where everything sucked.

your head was pounding, your boss had yelled at you, your hair was tangled, and you just overall felt like shit.

and of course on the day you felt like shit you had work and your boyfriend had left early in the morning meaning you never saw him today.

“y/n” your boss kelly yelled “what’s up kelly?” you asked giving her your best fake smile. “you need to stay late, amanda has to leave early” she said then quickly turned around back to her office.

of course she let her favorite leave early and not me who has been here for almost 10 hours.

sorry gotta stay late 6:45 pm

you texted chris quickly so kelly didn’t yell at you again.

once 8:30 pm rolled around you were finally free. you stood up and almost fell over but luckily you made it to your car.

on the drive home you drove in silence and at the first red light everything came crashing down. tears started streaming down your face as you tried to pull a hair tie out of your tangled hair.

you sigh and decide to just give it up to the tangles and drive back to chris’.

as you enter through the door chris tackles you in a hug. as he does so he immediately notices the wet feeling on his chest. he pulls you back. “woah, ma. what’s wrong?” he asks kindly.

“m-my day was so bad. my boss yelled at me and then i had to stay late, i didn’t see you all day, and this fucking hair tie won’t come out of my tangled ass hair!” you sob.

“i’m so sorry baby. do you wanna take a shower and then we can cuddle?” he whispers kissing your nose.

“sure” you sigh.

he places a soft kiss on you lips you quickly kiss back softly moving your lips in sync. you pull back “i love you ma.” “i love you chris.”

after your shower you step out wearing chris’ tshirt and your sweat pants.

as you look up at chris you find him laying on the bed, with soft music playing in the background, holding your hair brush.

“c’mere” he whispers. you smile and plop down in between his legs. “okay im gonna try to be carful but this might hurt.”

“chris, i can do it myself. you don’t half to-“

he cuts you off “ i know honey, i want to do it, just relax,” he speaks.

you lean back into his chest as he smoothly brushes your hair.

the music in he background makes you have an idea. “chris?” you ask “hmm?” he replies

“can you sing to me?”

”whatever you want ma” he whispers.

he starts softly singing as he finishes up brushing your hair. you turn around and stuff your face into his chest as he continues to sing.

“you have a beautiful voice chris” you whisper lightly. “thank you baby so do you.” he says smiling.

chris keeps singing untill you fall asleep, “love you ma.” he sighs into your hair.

bad days are always that, bad. but a bad day can turn into a good one if you want it to. and chris just happens to love helping you repair your bad days and your always very grateful for that.

[ax-y10]

Goofiness

In which- Ranboo infected you with his silliness

Request: Something about reader and Ranboo being silly and goofy friends @colorfull-cord

A/n: I FEEL SO BAD THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG IM SO SORRY! I am not lying when I had so much progress, then it got lost, then I accidentally posted it instead of saving it as a draft and I then deleted it accidentally and now I have to redo it I did not mean for this to happen I'm so sorry pls forgive me

Chapter info: Goofy, silly, Ranboo and reader being dickheads, swearing... (expect that from all of my work), mentions of anxiety, mentions of body and facial dysmorphia, and let me know if I fucked up Ranboo's pronouns somewhere

Pronouns: None (You/Yours)

Masterlist:

You guys would have the cutest little handshakes and greetings

For example: A soft headbutt followed by a handshake, a gentle poke between the collarbone followed by a hug, a harmless, sarcastic insult thrown at the other followed by laughter

People would either look at you both with a confused expression, wondering what the fuck you guys are doing headbutting each other. Or they would look at you both with fond, silently admiring the two friends.

You would definitely just sit on a discord call late at night and listen to a bunch of their favourite Lemon Demon songs and they would listen to yours.

No doubt, you would do this for hours

Sleepovers would be like Tommy's sleepover vlog

Everything would be happening all at once.

Playing basketball and them having to help you get a slam dunk, begging them to donate some of their height

Taking their stuff and accidentally breaking stuff because "You didn't know it was fragile"

Watching random streams (specifically Aimsey's, Billzo's, Freddie's or Tommy's)

Sitting on the beds, painting each other's nails, attempting to make good food but ending up getting takeout

You guys would end up passed out randomly, you in your chair and Ranboo in such an uncomfortable position on the bed (no doubt you both woke up with the worst backache)

Streaming with them would just be chaos

Your little inside jokes made no sense to anyone else, and the both of you loved seeing Twitter explode over controversies for an inside joke you made.

You and Aimsey's little sister would definitely make fun of Aimsey's height because she's just so small and cute

And if you were up working really late at night at Ranboo's place, they would definitely just pick you up and carry you to bed if you fell asleep

If you were awake however, they would attempt to do what they do every other night, but you would just kick them in the knees and tell them to "Fuck off" jokingly.

But knowing them, they would just sit in the room for hours until you fell asleep so they could do that again

But imagine Tommy comes over and you both aren't inside but are out the back

And Tom tries to find you to tell you that Wilbur had invited you to a gig

And he eventually finds you both

And you were both throwing random clumps of grass at each other

But Ranboo accidentally hit you a bit too hair in the face with a clump of grass so you ran and grabbed the nearest heavy object, that being a scooter of theirs, and threatening to throw it at them

And Tommy just walked back inside and sat on the couch, waiting for you both to come back inside

I feel like if you were sick, Ranboo would just sit in your house or next to you or in whichever room you were in for days just to make sure you were okay

Like if you fell asleep on the couch, they would lay on the floor and just watch you, making sure that if you needed the bathroom or medicine or a water, he was prepared.

And if that did happen, they were always immediately off the floor and rushing to the fridge, or the cupboard, or the toilet, lifting up the lid, and getting ready to hold your hair back for you.

And you could never be more grateful for them in these little moments

And if they were sick, you would do the exact same

And they would always tease you with their height, hiding your phone charger on the very top shelf in the cupboard, or hiding the glasses and cutlery in the highest spots in the house

But if you ever got too upset, they would always back down from their jokes and apologise repeatedly

And they would just be so understanding if you ever had any sort of insecurity of your body, body dysmorphia, facial dysmorphia, or even just having a hard time , always being able to comfort your nerves better than their own

If you struggle with any social anxiety or anxiety in public spaces, they would just calm down their happy and cheerful mood and tone it down a few notches to their comforting one

The one they use on Tommy when streaming and being a content creator gets ahold of him

And they sit you down and immediately start comforting you

[dirtybitfic]

White mustang

Storyline- In which Chris takes a solo, month long trip to Baraboo Wisconsin where he takes notice of a girl who stands out from everyone else in the small town . He cant help but seek her out and unlock the mystery of her .( PS THIS STORY ENDED UP BEING LONG AS ABSOLUTE FUCK my b)

(Based off of White mustang by Lana del rey)

Chris pov-

I've been so caught up in content for the past 3 months that I decided to take a trip completely by myself to take a mental health break. I did a little research on smaller towns on the east coast that I felt would be safe to go. I landed on Baraboo Wisconsin , I don't really know why it just looked kind of cool so I though why not.

I just got off my flight sending Matt and nick a text letting them know I got here safe and i'm heading to get my rental car now. Its not common that any of us would take a trip alone but I just really felt it was the right decision to not have them with me , being a triplet means being very co-dependent on each other but we've slowly started trying to be more independent and not do everything together and its been nice actually.

I pick up my car and drive to the airbnb I rented( were gonna pretend he has his license ) , its pretty close to devils lake national park so its slightly on outside of town in more of a rural area. Im getting a bit nervous as I get further into the backroads area feeling a bit scared I'm actually gonna be here alone for as long as i'm staying.

I finally reach the house and pull into the driveway hopping out and grabbing my bags from the trunk then heading to put the code in and finally sit down and rest.

The house is pretty cool Matt would have really liked it if he were here. I go upstairs to the master bedroom and throw my bag down kicking of my shoes , shirt and pants and hopping on the bed deciding to take a nap since i'm tired from the flight and have nothing else to do since I got in kinda late .

*times skip 4 hours*

I just woke up grabbing my phone to check the time, it's 8pm here which means its 5pm in cali.

I get and incoming face time from matt and answer it immediately happy to see his face.

" hey man how is it so far?" he asks as he takes a sip of water.

" Good I fell asleep right when I got here so I haven't got out at all but I probably will in a bit to get food" I answer.

" Well i'm glad you're okay ! I'm proud of you for doing this Chris I know its a bit weird not having us there but I think it'll be good for all of us to takes some time for ourselves" he says and I nod in agreement.

"I am happy I decided to go through with it . I just hope it'll be as nice and chill as I want it to be" I say as I set my phone down and fix my hair from getting in my eyes.

" Well I just wanted to check in and make sure you are good but text if you need me " he says as he throws a hoodie on and grabs his keys.

" I will love you bro" I say as I smile at him.

" Love you too " he says then hangs up.

I lay back on the bed contemplating of I want to go out and get food or just door dash something . Deciding I don't have the energy to get up and get dressed I chose to door dash .

I order a burger from some place in town and chill watching til tons until it gets here.

2o minuets later i'm eating my pizza on the back porch deciding some fresh air would do be good after being on a plane half the day and then taking a nap. The air bib has a hot tub which is the biggest reason I chose to stay here , after I ate I decided to turn it on and let it heat up to about 90 degrees since its only like 70 degrees tonight with a little breeze.

I got inside throwing on some trunks and grabbing a Pepsi from the fridge , the owner had stalked the fridge with drinks since they said their daughter watches our videos and wanted to make sure I had plenty of Pepsi for the month which is hilarious but also very sweet.

I climb into the hot water turning the lights to blue and laying back looking up at the clear night sky. The stars are pretty visible here which is a nice change from L.A.

I decide to turn on some music and chill out here for a while. After about 30 minutes i'm rushing inside and locking the door because I heard rustling in the woods and got scared. I may be a grown man but hearing noises in the dark woods when you're all alone would scare anyone.

I decide I might as well shower, watch a show and go to sleep. Maybe even find somethings to do Tommorrow .

Most of the shit in town didn't look that interesting to me so I decided on pewit's nest , I think taking a little hike and chillin in a waterfall could be a good reset ... I just hope there isn't a shit tone of people around.

I just woke up , its about 12 so I get up and throw on a fit and grab my phone AirPods and keys and head out the door putting in directions to pewit's nest. It's like a 30 minute drive which isn't too bad. I set my playlist on shuffle and start the drive. I rented a convertible , even though it was expensive its worth it . I like backgrounds they are chill and always have better views .

Im going down a long windy road when I see another car further ahead in the opposite lane , I can tell from here its a nice car maybe even vintage.

The closer I get the more a feeling creeps over my body making me feel confused but intrigued . Im close enough now to see long blue hair blowing freely in the wind and a slim arm hanging off the door of a white 1965 mustang moving like it's going over a waves in an ocean . I smile as the air seems to get lighter and my stomach girls when I catch a glimpse of her face that has a smile plastered on it that is so bright and sweet it could send a grown man into cardiac arrest .

We make eye contact as we pass each other and the feeling that washes over is something i've never felt before . I can hear the song she has playing that blasts through her speakers , a classical song one I recognize but I cant remember why .

I look away as I redirect the car to drive straight again and shake my head . I don't know what that feeling was but it felt ... good .

After a little while I reach the parking area and see no other cars making me smile, hopefully ill be alone in the piece and quiet.

I put the top back up and turn off the car and hop out and go to the directory to see with path I need to take to end up at the waterfall . The path is about a two mile hike , its says it's an easy path so that's good. I put my AirPods in and decide on a playlist Matt had made a while ago of just chill slow music .

I start walking looking around taking a breathe of the fresh air feeling calmness fall over me . I love the east coast so much more than the west coast , it just feels more calm and nice compared to the busy city life we live in L.A. As I walk I see movement out of the corner of my eye making me look over seeing its a family of deer . I pull out my phone and take a picture sending it to Matt and Nick . I don't see many deer in the west coast but every time I do I have to take a picture , they are my favorite animal.

After an easy 20 more minutes I reach the fall , taking out my AirPods I look around just checking out the area making sure i'm alone , I am . I take my shoes off then my shirt and set my phone , keys and AirPods onto of them and walk to the edge and dip my foot in . I forget how cold waterfall water really is but I decide to just say fuck it and get in . The warm sun helps make it a little more bearable .

As I float around I hear my phone ringing so I swim back over to check who it is . It's nick so I dry my hands on my shirt and answer it.

"Hey... wow where are you it's so pretty?" he says as he notices the scene in the background. " It's called Pewits nest " I answer as I flip the camera and show him the whole fall and the surrounding area. " Wow well i'm glad you're getting out and having fun " he says making me flip the camera and smile. " Yeah me too its pretty nice out here really peaceful " I say as I look around smiling. " So you're doing okay ?" he asks I nod " Yeah i'm good I definitely needed this I miss you guys though" I say looking at him he smiles softly " I miss you too but your metal health is more important than being here dealing with with meetings and shit " nick says and I nod " Yeah I know ill get used to being without you guys soon it's just bit weird right now" I say sighing . " I know but hey you know we"re just a call away and maybe you'll get some Inspo for new fresh love designs " he say smiling rubbing his hands together making me chuckle . " Yeah I guess you're right ... anything interesting going on with you?" I ask feeling comforted with the fact I"m talking to him even if he"s not really here with me it feels like he is." Uhhh not really I think me and Matt are gonna go for dinner with Jake and Tara then probably chill the rest of the night" he says making me smile. " We'll have fun and tell them I said hey, ima let you go though I know you probably got some shit to do" I say smiling at him . " Okay well be safe and maybe go around town tonight see what's around I love you" " Yeah love you too " I say and hang up.

I look at the time seeing its around 3:30 meaning i've been here for about 2 and a half hours so I decide to get out and use my shirt to dry off and put my shoes back on and start walking back down the path to my car.

I get back to my car and unlock it throwing a towel I had brought but forgot to grab out and put it on the seat so I didn't get it wet . I put the top back down and head back to the airbnb .

I reach the point in the windy road where I passed that girl earlier and smile to myself at the memory . It .. I mean she has been on my mind ever since we passed I know nothing about her yet she's all I can think about my whole drive home.

I get back and head into the house grabbing a drink from the fridge and heading upstairs to take a shower. The bathroom is pretty big if you ask me and I love the shower honestly I could probably stand in it and think for hours. I throw shoes and pants off and walk in turning on the rain shower letting the water fully cascade down my body. I take my time just standing under the hot water relaxing . I start thinking about the girl from earlier . I literally cant get her off my mind something about the feeling I got when we made eye contact scares me but also intrigues me , its like my body knew something I didn't but now I want to find out what it could be that has be so drawn to her.

I hop out of the shower and decide I should go into town to grab some groceries and some dinner . One thing I hate is eating alone but I have no other choice.

I start up the car and head towards town . I find a groceries store called woodmans deciding it look like the biggest one and thread have the biggest selection of shit .

I park and head in keeping my head down feeling a bit nervous being out alone. I shop as quick as possible then find a place to get dinner. I find an Italian restaurant and decide to order take out online for pickup . I head over and park close by deciding to walk around a bit till I get a text that the foods ready. I walk down the streets passing by people smiling and they smile back which is one thing I love about west coast people they are way more pleasant than west coast people .

I spot a small looking path through some trees that has a couple benches along it and decide to sit under the tree and watch the sunset while I wait. I watch as the sky changes colors , its honestly one of the best sunsets i've seen in a while. I hear soft laughter making me turn my head in the direction it came from. I see a guy walking with a girl and they are looking at something on their phone laughing and making fun of what I can hear a girl, they are both dressed in boring ass basic outfits making me roll my eyes at how boring they look.

They stop a few feet away to watch another video i'm guessing and I can fully hear what they are saying now

" oh my god Vienna is so fucking weird" the girl says before laughing , she has such a bitchy little laugh .

" She tries so hard to be different and yet she wanders why no guys wanna touch her" the guys says smirking making the girl laugh .

" Ahh what a cute little music video " she sighs with a sniper putting her phone in her pocket . I cant help but roll my eyes shaking my head at their behavior and words .

" OH MY GOD C-CHRIS STURNIOLO" I hear a shriek making me jump in surprise . " oh my god is it really you ?" the girl ask running up to me . I contemplate on saying no and going on with my night but... she knows damn well its me so I nod . " Yeah hi nice to meet you" I say standing up . She squeals in excitement . " Can I get a picture " she asks and I slowly shake my head . " No i'm sorry i'm trying to stay out of sight while i'm here I don't really want everyone knowing where I am..." I say acting as sorry as best I can. " Oh I get it i'm sorry to bother you have a good night" the girl says waving and running off I wave back then my phone rings telling me my foods ready for pickup so I Jog back to the area I parked and run into the restaurant grabbing my food and heading to my car .

I look across the street as I unlock my door spotting blue hair and ,my heart immediately jumps as I watch her walk down the street , her hair softly blowing with the breeze with headphones on her face naturally resting slightly angry which makes her even more attractive. I cant help but stare , she has an energy that radiates off of her but I just don't know what it is quite yet.

I see the dick head couple from earlier quickly approaching her the girl whispering to the guy as she laugh once the get to mystery girl the girl grabs her arm making me furrow my eyebrows and watch intensely at the scene unfolding in front of me.

The girl holds a tight grip as she gets in blue hairs face smiling but the words that come out of her mouth look unpleasant . Blue hair slides her headphones down and keeps them around her neck as she listens to the girl talking to her but her face looks unbothered .

The guy starts laughing as he smirks watching his girlfriend disrespect blue hair, I feel an urge to go over and break it up but the lat thing I need is to get roped into random peoples drama. She lets go of blue hairs arm laughing but I didn't expect what happened next.

Blue hair shoves her hand into the others chest pushing her harshly into the brick wall next to them . I walk to my trunk to try and hear what's happening more clearly.

Its a bit quiet but I can hear clear enough

" Grow the fuck up Clara I don't care if you like me or not i'm not going to tell you again to leave me the fuck alone" blue hair spits the words into her face. The other girl looks slightly... scared which I find funny cause two seconds ago she looked like she was nothing but proud of herself for whatever she said. " Vienna I- just let me go " she whine prying blue hair well Vienna's hand off her chest and clinging to her boyfriend . " God Vienna if you weren't such a stuck up cunt maybe somebody would have wanted yours by now" the guy says . Vienna and even his girlfriends mouth drop open at his words . "James your dating Clara ...kinda weird how every single insult you can think of *she steps closer to him* ... always end up with sexual comments about me" she says smirking . His girlfriend gasps and raises a hand to slap Vienna. " You might want to lower that hand Clara she scolds glancing at the girl who slowly lowers her hand and James ... stop thinking about who has or hasn't wanted me because trust me... Lucas had no problem having some time with me" she says then slides her head phones back on flicking them both off and walking away.

I stand in shock for a couple seconds dumfounded by what I just witnessed , maybe I'm just so used to living in a city where everybody is just minding their own business . Smaller towns definitely seem to have more entertaining people . I smile as I turn back around and get in my car setting my food on the seat next to me and driving off back to the house.

I'm actually glad I decided to go to town and get food because now not only do I know blue hairs real name but I also have caught a good glimpse of her personality and it only adds fuel to the fire inside my brain. I've never seen someone so calm and collected when being patronized like she was and her comebacks to the insults were nothing but perfect. I wanted to burst out laughing when she clocked the fuck out of the guy for bringing up her sex life given I had heard him speak about it when they were talking shit when I was sitting on the bench waiting .

I admire the way she made the girl scared and nervous when she spoke back to her , most people would have just stood there and took the insults and not stick up for themselves but she sure as fuck did.

I pull into the driveway hopping out and rushing in to sit down and eat my food. The pasta is good as fuck not gonna lie , I'm absolutely banging it down when my phone rings, I pause the movie I was watching and answer it to see Nick and Matt pop up on my screen.

" Hey guys what's up?" I ask as I take a sip of my Pepsi.

" Nothing we just wanted to chest in and make sure you're doing good " Matt says and I smile and nod. " Yeah i'm good I went into town to get dinner ... and lets just say i've never been so entertained by drama, than I was 30 minutes ago" I say laughing after. " Yo what the fuck I wanna know what happened" nick says showing how intrigued he is by what I witnessed.

" Okay well when I was going to that waterfall I was at when you called yesterday I passed a girl who had blue hair and a really nice vintage mustang and something about her intrigued me .... tonight I saw the same girl low-key get bullied by some basic bitch and blue hair girl absolutely chewed her and her boyfriend up and spit them out in the span of 5 minutes" I say smiling replaying the moment in my head . " Damn small towns do have shit going on huh" nick says laughing making me and matt laugh too. " Yeah shit was very entertaining to say the least " I say back . " So this blue haired girl ... do you have a little crush Chris" Matt says teasing me making me shake my head and flick him off . " No she just looks like cool person bro " I say trying to convince him and myself i'm not that into her." Whatever you sayyy" he says making me shake my head. " Well ima go take a late night walk and clear my head I love you guys" I say. " yeah love you to, be safe" Matt says before hanging up the call.

I grab my headphones and throw on my shoes and head out of the door. Its nice weather but it feels like it might rain and honestly I wouldn't mind getting caught in the rain on my walk.

Im walking down the neighborhood path when I see a path leading into the woods that has a sign saying it leads to a sand beach on the lake , I decide to take it and maybe sit by the water for a bit .

I feel a bit creeped out as I walk through the almost pitch black path so I bring out my phone and turn on the flash so I can kinda see where i'm going. I take out my earphones so I can hear the area around me just incase something or someone is out here. The further I walk I feel like I can hear water ripple and kind of splash letting me know i'm getting closer to my destination.

I meet the end of the path where the sand starts and step out taking a deep breathe. Its quiet and calm out here and the moon is shining down on the water letting me see the area surrounding me. I sit down on a stump and look up taking in the dark cloudy sky above me . It's calming to be out here all alone being able to just sit and think about anything and everything .

I get lost in my thought until I snap out of it when I hear a loud splash off to the left . I try and focus in on the area but its too dark from where i'm sitting to really get a good look .Out of curiosity I get up and get closer to where I heard the sound come from breathing heavily since i'm a bit scared it could be like a fucking bear or something , then id really be fucked.

As I slowly get closer I hear a small laugh , it sounds like a girl but im not quite sure all I know is hearing a girl giggle in the dark late t night is creepy as fuck. I look at spot a figure gliding in the water I squint to try and make out if its a person or animal . When the figure stands in the water the moon light shines over them letting me see it is in fact a girl , not just any girl though. I see a tinge of blue sheen in the hair thats being hit by the moon light and my breathe hitches.

It's her. My stomach does that stupid fucking feeling again as I watch the way she's gliding through the water. She goes under and comes back up wiping her face and hair back . She looks so calm and peaceful , I feel like a creep just watching her but I cant look away or move . She kind of stops all of her movements taking a deep breath and looking around she spots me and jumps with a scream . I flinch immediately turning around starting to speed walk back to the path I got here on.

I hear water splashing and my heart starts to speed up , she's gonna catch up and yell at me is all I can think as I walk as quickly as possible . "WAIT HEY WAIT " I hear her scream and I stop shoulders slumping down waiting for her to come up and give me a piece of her mind.

I turn around to see her walking up to me ... smiling , maybe she's not mad after all . " Are you here alone?" she asks as she gets closer and I can see her gorgeous face . I just nod to scared to actually say anything. " Have I seen you before you look really familiar?" she asks me studying my face. " I- um maybe I don't kn-" she cuts me off. " Wait I know I passed you on the road ... you drive that black convertible right?" she asks smiling and stepping closer. " Y-yeah you drive the vintage mustang right?" I ask and she smiles and nods . " It's a really cool car" I say making her smile wider. " Thank you it was my dads dream car so when he... passed I got it in memory of him" she says as her smile falters a bit . " Oh i'm so sorry " I say as she looks back up at me shaking her head. " It's okay its not your fault" she says with a quiet laugh. "I know I just I feel bad" I say smiling sympathetically. " Please don't feel sorry for me the last thing I want is pity" she says shaking her head. " Sorry " I say trying to make it less awkward. " Its fine ... so are you new I have seen you until this week" she asks smiling at me and walking back onto the sandy part so I take that as she wants me to follow her. " Uhhm yeah I guess i'm taking a vacation here for about a month " I answer . " Why here?" she asks laughing.

" Well I wanted to get out of big city life for a while so I just kinda looked up smaller places to go and I ended up here" I answer with a shrug. " Well I guess that makes sense ... i've never been to a big city but i've always water to move out of here and live the city life" she rambles making me smile . She sits down and I sit next to her. " Honestly I like living in a city for the most part it just gets ... a lot sometimes you know" I say and look over at her. " Yeah i... I down really fit in here ... I mean I never really have " She says looking off into the water. " I don't understand why I mean you're nice , drive a cool ass car , and ... your pretty" I say and she looks at me smiling weekly. " Thank you thats really sweet but I don't think anyone here would agree with you" she says as she sighs . " well they are just boring ass people then I mean from what I can tell you seem really cool ... if I lived here I think you'd be the only person i'd wanna be friends with " I say and she smiles widely. " Thanks you seem pretty cool too" She says making me smile. " You know I didn't get your name" I say and she laughs . " It's Vienna" she says . " Thats a pretty name i'm Chris " I say smiling back at her . " Thank you so where are you from?" she asks me " Im from Boston but I live in LA with my brothers" I say and she nods . " How many brothers do you have ?" she asks . Ive noticed that I don't think she has a clue who I am and i'm actually really happy about it. " I have 3 , one older and i'm 1 of three triplets. " I answer she gasps " Ahh thats so fucking cool I always wished I had a twin growing up so id have a best friend with me all the time" she says smiling I cant help but chuckle " Yeah its pretty cool . So i'm guessing you don't have any siblings ?" I asks judging from her response . " I did but not anymore " she says looking upset again . " oh " I say having a good feeling it's the same outcome of her dad situation. " Yeah I had a sister but um she passed my freshman year of college " she says and I can almost see the tears staring in her eyes. " Im sorry Vienna I shouldn't have brought it up" I say feeling bad knowing she not only lost her dad but also her sister, I couldn't imagine going through that . " No No it's okay i'm sorry for trauma dumping on you I met you like 5 minutes ago" She says laughing and sniffling as a small tear falls down her face. " No its okay I don't mind ... I like hearing you talk" I say making her smile. She hums and leans her head on my shoulder looking at the scene infant of us. Ive never felt this comfortable with someone I barely know before but right now I feel good, happy and calm . I look down at her smiling at her small gesture . " Is- is this okay i'm sorry if -" " Its absolutely okay I don't mind" I say and she looks up at me smiling then looking back out .

" It's really peaceful out here" I say and she nods. " Yeah I love it out here ... not a lot of people come out here thats why I come down here to think " she says and I nod " I can see why " I say . " This might be an invasive question to ask but what do you do ... I mean if you're staying here for a month you must make good money" she says laughing . " Well I umm I make YouTube videos with my brothers " I say . " ahhh okay makes sense . Is it fun do you like it?" she asks me and I think for the best answer " I love it but sometimes it can be stressful ... it takes a big toll on my mental health sometimes though" I answer honestly. " Im guessing thats why you came here to take a break from it all" she adds on and I nod " Yeah I mean this is the first trip i've ever taken without my brothers but it was very much needed" I answer. " Well good for you for taking time that you need ... I bet the fans aren't too happy about it though" she jokes but I sigh making her mover her head and face me . " That was a big sigh " she says and I nod " Yeah its just ... sometimes the fans take shit too far and that's one of the biggest things that really east to me" I say looking at her . " Well I can only guess they are all crazy little girls ... I mean look at you no wonder they go a little crazy" she says giggling . " what's that supposed to mean?" I ask laughing " Chris come on ... you know you're attractive I mean id be obsessed to if I were them" she smiles and I shake my head smiling . " Thank you " I say laughing . She laugh too " You're welcome " she nods . Silence falls between us for a couple seconds before I speak . " I gotta ask you ... what's up with the blond girl and her boyfriend I kinda saw they gang up on you in town " I ask but regret it when her eyebrows furrow . " You saw that " she asks kind of confused . " Yeah I ... I should have said that earlier I just ..." " Im not mad just a bit embarrassed" she says and I nod . " They were kind of my bullies all throughout middle and high school ... they fucked off for a while when I went away for college but after my sister passed I became really depressed and failed all my classes and came back here to take care of our house so " " Now that your back they decided to keep being assholes " I say understanding the situation. "Yeah pretty much I honestly don't know why they act like they do but I just got tired off it that night and snapped ... I usually just kept my head down and let them say whatever but i'm tired of the shit . I just wish they would grow the fuck up were grown ass adults and I seem to be the only one who knows how to act like one" she groans making me laugh. " Immature assholes " I joke and she laughs . " Yeah honestly I thought when we all turned 20 they'd just move on but now i'm 22 and they still act like children its embarrassing honestly " she laughs making me smile. " I think they are jealous to be honest " I say and she smiles . " They have nothing to be jealous about I have no family or friends" " That is where your wrong you do have a friend" I say and she looks at me " And who might that be?" she asks smiling " Me obviously " I smile and she smiles back . " Ive never been so conformable with someone this quickly " she says in a sweet but serious tone " Me neither " I say smiling . She scoots closer and I put out my arm so she can scoot into my side . " Thank you chris " she says as she nuzzles into my side making me smile . " For what?" I ask not knowing what I did " For being a decent person . For talking to me and listening to me even though you barely know me " she says and I smile . " Of course , i'm glad we met you're ... an amazing girl ... I don't usually get close to girls mostly because of the fans and my own kind of shit but you .... it just feels right " " I completely agree it just feels easy being around you " she says back making me smile .

" What time is it " she asks me and I grab my phone to look . " Shit it's almost 5 am " I say laughing . " We've been talking for 4 hours " she asks shocked and looking at me " Yeah I guess so " I say smiling . " It felt like we've only been here for an hour at most " " Times flys when your having fun " I joke making her laugh . " I should probably head home " she sighs making me look at her .

I know I just met her but I really want to keep talking with her I really don't wan this to end I shoot the shot " You could always ... come back to mine I mean its a big house and i'm all alone I wouldn't mind the company " I say smiling " Really? " she asks smiling I nod " Okay Yeah lets do it" she says getting up .

We walk next to each other in comfortable silence I glance over at her and smile. She looks like she's deep in thought so I just stay silent.

Vienna pov-

I swear to god I have never seen someone so attractive in my life I mean Jesus fucking christ and could I have embarrassed myself even more. He caught me swimming around at night all alone like a freak I mean thats so embarrassing and then I go and fucking TRAUMA DUMP on him after like 15 minutes Jesus. I've never really been that talkative of a person , not because I don't want to be but because no ones ever really given me a chance. Ive lived here my entire life except half a year when I went to Colorado state , I loved It there and I did have a couple fiends but after my sister died and I moved I didn't hear from them . I feel like i'm just and unlovable person sometimes I mean everyone I get close to leaves me . Sadly I already know thats gonna be the case with Chris since he will only be here for a month , I am scared to get too close but he's just... so nice and he made me feel more seen in the span of 4 hours than I have my entire life . So here I am on my way back to his house and yeah I'm nervous but if I were to have said no id be missing out on having someone to talk to and laugh with and just a guy who makes me feel happy when I haven't in a while , even if it is just for this month I won't let this chance at a good relationship pass.

Chris's pov-

We reach the road and I look down at her and she looks up and smiles , god her smile is adorable . " come on it this way" I say leading her to the right back to my house. She follows and walks by my side and I don't know why but I put my arm around her shoulder and pull her into me . I feel so comfortable around her, again its a weird feeling , but i'm happy and content so why would I freak out about it . we get up the slight hill and walk up the driveway to the door . I put in the code and let her go in first.

" mm its so cozy in here" she says and I agree " I know right I like it here its very quiet too " " It is but that could be scary when you're alone" " Oh trust me it is" I say and she laughs. " Are you hungry thirsty anything?" I ask her as I make my way to the kitchen to grab something to drink . " Kind thirsty actually yeah" she says and I nod . "I got water, lemonade , Pepsi , Dr Pepper any of those sound good?" I ask and she thinks for a second . " Dr.pepper please , thank you" she says and I smile handing one to her " no problem" .

" Sooo what should we do ?" she asks smiling at me as she sits on the kitchen island. "Mmm I don't know we could watch a movie or uhh we could chill in the hotter for a bit " I say and she smiles " I wouldn't mind chillin in the hot tub" she says smiling . " Alright let me change into some shorts real quick then ill get it started up" I say as I jog up the stairs.

Vienna pov-

I step outside onto the porch walking to the railing looking out into the darkness , I find the dark calming while most people find it scary I find it to be the opposite. I've always been someone who likes the night more than the day . I love the way the moon has different fazes and how the stars shine but also because I feel most myself at night , my mom had a nickname for me as a baby "Me pequeña luna" my little moon , She used to tell me I liked sleeping all day and staying up at night which is why she called me her little moon . She passed away when I was about 11 years old it was hard but I got through it . When I was a teenager my older sister played the mother roll a lot telling me all about what I needed to know from how my body would change to sex to other things a mom would say to protect her child , I loved my sister like no one else but I think life took a toll on her and thats why she left me here alone . I don't hate her for it in some ways I understand why she did it but I wish I had been able to help or stop her from making the decision to end it all but I was too late by the time I realized she was struggling she was already gone . My dad passed of natural causes maybe a broken heart or age but at least he passed peacefully .

All these things are the reason why I live my life the way I do , I take adventures and I live how I want . I've never been one to follow trends or go with the flow of others around me , in this small town people like to say i'm the "weird girl " or " The freak" because I don't look and dress like everyone else or I don't speak or act the way they "expect" the young woman here too but fuck em i'm happy and thats all that matters.

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear the sliding door open and I turn to see Chris , fuck he really is perfect. I try not to drool as I look over his lean body and his cut v line .

"Hey I brought down a speaker so we can listen to music while we're out here" he says and I snap my eyes up to his face and smile . "Sounds good to me" I answer and he smiles. I watch as he walks to the hot tub turning it on and setting the heat and lights to how he wants them to be. He looks at me smiling and motioning me to come over . I walk over to him smiling . " Ladies first " he says as he gives me a hand getting into the tub making me laugh a bit.

He climbs in after me sitting pretty close making me smile to myself , I just met him and i'm already so into him , Maybe because I don't get much male attention or affection on a normal bases and i'm touch deprived as fuck but he's just so sweet .

" Here you can queue up whatever sings you want " he says handing me his phone and turning on the speaker " you sure I don't know if you'll like my music taste " " Im sure I will" he says and I shake my head "Okayyy" I say as I queue up a couple songs

~ Claire de lune- claude debussy, Jacob and the stone- Emile mosseri, Champagne coast- blood orange, In the air tonight- Phil collins, ALIEN FLAME- shometyle, Holier- crosses, sex on fire- kings of lion and when i'm small- phantogram.

The first song starts to play and I nervously wait for him to say something

he smiles " Im not a classical guy but its a nice song" he says and I smile and laugh " Yeah I didn't think you'd be into classical but this is one of my favorite songs so" he smiles and leans his head back looking up at the sky.

" The stars are bright tonight " he says and I look up to setting into my spot " They really are " I say smiling tracing the Lyra constellation . "You see the stars in a line and kind of coming together into a misshapen square?" I ask him as I point to the area i'm looking at . "Ummm oh yeah I see it " he says and I smile . " Thats the Lyra constellation " I say smiling " oh wow I didn't know that I mean to be fair the only one I really know is the Big Dipper" he says laughing I giggle " Yeah thats the one most people know ... my mom taught me about astrology when I was young and I got really into it when she got sick and wed talk about it when she was in the hospital" I explain to him as he nods along , he's a very attentive listener . " Mmm a way to stay close to her ?" he asks smiling " Yeah it kept us connected , she loved to talk about the stars and after she passed I just kept up with it because every time I look at the stars I feel like she's with me " I say smiling as I try and keep myself from tearing up. " Thats really sweet " she says as he looks at me with an adoring look that makes me smile .

"So you and your family are you close ?" I ask him wanting to stop babying on about myself . " Yeah were really close I love my family more than anything , i'm closest with my triplet brother for obvious reasons but my mom is the sweetest woman I love her to death and my dad is great he's really funny and my older brother is cool as fuck , he doesn't have the same dad as me , Matt and Nick but its never really felt like he isn't a full sibling he's been there all our lives you know what I mean" he speaks so sweetly of his family I almost want to cry . " I completely get it ,your family sounds lovely " " They are great I think my mom would absolutely love you and you would definitely get along with nick " he says making me smile that he's even thinking about how specific family members would like me . " So being a triplet is obviously special , are you all pretty alike or are you complete opposites?" I ask obviously intrigued since i've never seen or met twins let alone triplets. " Honestly were all different in our own ways , nick is gay which is one thing that makes him different from me and Matt but he's probably the most out going one of all of us he always been the one to just do his own thing , me and Matt though we're pretty similar we played all the same sports growing up and always had the same friends , like the same music except Matt has some music he likes that I down like as much he's also the most calm and quiet one he likes to just keep to himself most of the time , he's pretty much always been that way " he answers my question perfectly as I listen giving him my full attention . " Thats great though you know you all have things that make you individuals " I say smiling . "Yeah it's great for us all to have our own interests, I mean when we were kids we did everything together so now that were older its nice to be our own selves and do things separately " he explains and I nod . " What about you and your sister were you pretty similar?" he asks and I try to keep my smile " Yeah I guess I mean she was 5 years older than me so you know we had our differences just because of the age gap but I learned a lot from her , I got my music taste from all the countless drives we'd take together , she loved to go on late night walks and swims in the lake ... thats actually why I was there tonight her birthday was yesterday and I wanted to do something to remember her and why not do something we loved to do together . She loved saving memories too she loved photography and taking videos which is now something I love since she taught me when we were younger , I was always the louder more outgoing one and she was the calm and quiet type and I think thats why we got along so well " " What do you like to do you know like hobbys and stuff?" he asks me and I think about it for a second " Well I play guitar and keyboard and I sing sometimes , i'm more creative and artsy I guess I also love to tech and paint I just picked up trying to do tattoos , its pretty hard not gonna lie but its fun to see what I can design and create " I say and he smiles really big " Thats actually really cool I actually have a clothing brand of my own .... maybe you could tech some new ideas for me " he says and I smile " Really?" I ask smiling "Yeah i've been reading to create some more design for a new drop maybe you can help me with that while i'm here " I nod and smile widely " I'd love too , so what's the band called ?" I ask ." fresh love " he answers " Ohh I like that " I say and he smiles " Thank you Matt helped me name it but I like to take the credit most of the time" he says and I laugh .

" Im kind of getting hot out here wanna go back inside and dry off . I can give you some clothes to change into " he says and I nod " Yeah sounds good ... do you mind if take a quick shower I have lake water all in my hair ?" I ask and he smiles " Yeah of course " he says and I thank him as we head inside . " The bathroom is up the stairs and its the first door to the left ... i'll bring you some clothes once you're out . I would bring them in while you shower but I'd fully see you with the way the shower is built " she says laughing . " Okay no problem ,thank you " I say as I make my way up the stairs . I walk into the large bathroom and head to the shower , I spend a hot minute trying to figure out how to turn on the shower but fail horribly . So embarrassingly I call out to Chris for help "HEY CHRIS UMM HOW THE FUCK DO YOU TURN THE SHOWER ON" I ask . I hear foot steps approach and the door open " Sorry I forgot its kind of hard to turn on " he says smiling as he walks over and turns it on for me " ahh thats how you do it " I say laughing . " Just push it back in to turn it off and if you want it hotter or colder tap it left for hot and right for cold " he explain showing me " Great thank you " " No problem and I set a towel on the sink for you " " Thank you" " Yep no problem " he says as he walks out shutting the door behind him .

I take off my wet bikini and step under the water it was a little to cold for me so I turn it hotter but I tapped it a couple too many time making it so hot it stung and I yelped . "YOU OKAY? " I hear "hris yell from outside the door "YEAH JUST TURNED IT A BUT TOO HOT SORRY " "YOU'RE GOOD JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T FALL OR SOMETHING " "NOPE ALL GOOD THANK YOU FOR CHECKING THOUGH " " NO PROBLEM"

I use some of the soap lathering my body in it smelling fully like a man . I get lost in my thought as the water rains down on me

Chris's pov-

I cant help but like her after the deep conversations we've had tonight , she listens so well it's like you could be in a room full of people but if your talking she'd make you feel like you're the most important one there . She is so sweet and she's been through so much I mean her mom , dad and sister have all died , I cant imagine going through all of that and still being and happy and sweet as she is . She's the most beautiful girl i've ever met inside and out and don't get me wrong there are plenty of beautiful girls in LA but none of them have the personality to match it . She is just authentic in herself and I can tell she doesn't care what others think of her and I love that about her .

I may have just met her but I feel like i've known her my whole life . I wish I had known her my whole life to be honest . I know its crazy that after meeting a girl I invited her back with me to stay the night but I feel safe with her . She had no idea who I was or that I was a YouTube or a triplet which adds to the many reasons I felt safe enough to invite her back with me .

I have no intention of making moves on her tonight I simply just like her company and why would I choose to be all alone when I can have her here with me . Now don't get me wrong gif she were to want to do something I wouldn't turn it down but i'm choosing to keep it respectful and friendly until she shows sign of wanting more .

Viennas pov-

I like Chris a lot I mean he's sweet , attractive , has a good relationship with his family he has goals and hobbys and he's been respectful the entire time we've been together , Most guys would have tried something sexual already but he's not most guys I can tell he's different . Im not saying I wouldn't do anything with him because trust me ... I would without a doubt but until he shows signs of wanting that i'm going to keep my cool .

I turn the water off and step out walking to the counter and wrapping myself in the towel and open the door looking around for any signs of him but see or hear nothing " CHRIS ..." " IN HERE , DOOR ALL THE WAY DOWN THE WALL " he calls out and I make my way towards where his voice came from . I open the door to see him laying on the bed shirtless and in grey sweatpants , I could drop dead right now from how hot he looks . He looks up at me as his eyes trail down my body making me nervous " shit sorry let me grab you those clothes I got distracted testing my bothers " he says getting up and walking to the closet " Oh you're good " I say . He walks back out handing me a sweatshirt and some boxers " Thank you " I say as I stand there awkwardly waiting for him to turn around or something so I can change . " Oh sorry i'll turn around " he says as he covers his eyes and turns around . I get changed and use the towel to get my hair a little dry " Okay you can turn around " I tell him and he does smiling down at me and he looks me up and down " That sweatshirt looks good on you " he smirks at me and I giggle "Thank you not gonna lie though I struggled to get these boxers over my ass " I say and he laughs " Well is that supposed to be a bad thing? " he asks making me roll my eyes playfully " Oh shut up " " I mean hey i'm just saying " he says putting his hands up making me laugh and smack his chest .

" SO you wanna watch a movie or are you tired ?" he asks as he goes to sit on the bed . " Mmm i'm not to tired so i'm down to watch a movie I say as I go to sit on the other side of the bed and he turns the tv on going to Netflix and starts screeching through movies .

" Oooh lets watch that one " I say as the clicker lands on insidious . "you like horror movies?" he asks as he looks at me and I nod " Love em " I answer smiling widely . " Fine you're lucky I like you " he says making me laugh " What you don't like horror movies ?" I ask smiling " Not really they creep me out but ill watch it for you" he says smiling and looking over at me and I return the smile.

We start the movie and I can hear his heavy breathing making me smile at how cute it is that he's scared . The movie gets to a part where there's a jump scare and he jumps so hard the bed moves and I laugh hysterically . " Oh shut the fuck up it's not that funny " he groans but starts laughing not being able to stay serious . " It was actually very funny " I say and I look at him . "Come closer " he says as he holds up his arm for me to scooch in right next to him . I lay my head on his warm chest , he lays one arm behind my head and onto my shoulder as his other one wraps to my waist pulling me closer . I feel so comfortable in his arms maybe even... safe which is a feeling I haven't had in a very long time. He lays his head on mine making me smile and snuggle in as close as possible as I drape an arm over his chest .

After a couple more jump scares Chris told me to turn the movie off saying and I quote " Im not scared or anything the movie just sucks" ending with an scoff as he looked away when the demon in the movie popped up so I turned it off as I giggled at how scared he obviously was . " So what should we watch instead then ... maybe my little pony" I say with a small laugh making him roll his eyes " Oh shut up just put something not scary on I don't care " he says smiling so I choose divergent instead one of my favorite movies .

We both enjoy the movie having small side conversations during it talking about how we both would want to be dauntless if the movie was real life or how cool the tattoo machines in the movie were . It's nice to share thoughts with someone and find common interests we have I haven't had that in a long time . Chris is like a breathe of fresh air after the past couple of years i've had ... I keep trying to forget the fact he's only here for a little while and I shouldn't get attached but it seems i've already failed at that.

Chris's pov-

I cant help but look down at Vienna as she watches the movie with the biggest smile . She is so effortlessly beautiful , i've just now understood what people mean when they say looks aren't everything . She is absolutely gorgeous but her personality is even more beautiful . Ive never met someone who i've just clicked with so quickly i'm still in shock at how much this friendship ... I mean whatever this relationship is has grown in only a couple hours . She's snuggles in so close to me and I find it adorable she looks so innocent and peaceful right now and I cant help but smile as I admire her. She has freckles all over her cheeks which i'm only now noticing , they make her even more beautiful.

The movie just ended and she looks at me smiling and I smile back. "So you tired or ...?" she asks as she maintains eye contact . " Not really no ... I am kinda hungry though" I say and she nods . " Yeah me to ... late night snack time?" she asks smiling and sitting up . " Yep " I say as I get up and walk to the door her following behind . We make it into the kitchen and I grab some chips for us and a water and one for her too. " Let's chill on the couch " I say as I start walking to the living room . " Its so pretty outside at night here" she says as she looks out of the large windows . " It really is dark as fuck though" I say and she nods " I know it gets so dark with all the woods around its kind of creepy but I love it" she says making me shake my head and chuckle " Its even more beautiful here in winter ugh it snows so much which honestly kind of sucks when I need to go places but its so pretty watching the snow fall and cover the trees " she says smiling and closing her eyes as if she's picturing it in her head " I love snow ... it snows a good amount in Massachusetts and it gets pretty fucking cold " I say and she looks at me smiling " I bet the snowball fights were crazy with you and your brothers " she says making me smile and nod " Oh yeah we went crazy as kids always out sledding or just running around in the snow " I say as I picture the memories playing out in my mind. " mmmm me and my sister would ride our horses through the trails on the land my house is on its was cold but it was so beautiful " she says smiling . " You have horses ?" I ask as I shove chips into my mouth " We used too yeah . We had a small little barn and had about 5 , my dad bought them when we were young . We would all ride together and we used to do little group trails rides for people but when he passed it was too much upkeep and money so I had to sell them " she says looking sad " Damn i'm sorry that sounds fun though " I say and she smiles and takes a sip of her water " It was ... some of my best memories were from rides as a kid ... one time oh my god * she laughs * so one time I think I was maybe 12 me and my dad were riding through the big field that led to the trails and a whole family of deer came out of nowhere running and my horse flipped out and took off oh god I don't think i've ever heard onto something so hard in my life . I was screaming which made the situation worse but seeing my dad chase after me was the funniest thing ever " she says as she laughs at the story making me laugh with her .

we sit and talk about funny memories from when we were kids for almost two hours . We finished the bag of chips and decided we should definitely get to sleep .

I lay down on my side of the bed getting comfortable " Hey is i'm kind of a hot sleeper so ... is it okay if I take off the sweats?" she asks seeming a bit nervous. " Of course get as comfortable as you need " I say smiling . " Okay I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable " she says smiling " Trust me you could strip naked right now and I would be everything but uncomfortable " I say laughing but instantly regret letting that slip out of my mouth " Well then ... good to know " she says laughing and I shake my head " I don't know why I said that" I say running my hands down my face " Its fine i'm not upset by it " she answers with a giggle . She slowly slides the sweat shirt I gave her off and I know I should look away but I cant ... my mouth drops when I remember she had nothing on underneath it . " Oh shit I forgot I had nothing on under it " she says as her face gets red and she turns away from me . " Vienna -" I start but she interrupts " No no thats so awkward i'm sorry I genuinely thought for some reason I had something on underneath" She rushes out as I see her arms move over her bare chest to cover it . " Vienna you don't have to apologize " I say as I stand up and walk to stand behind her as I lower my head to her ear " And you definitely do not need to hide from me " I whisper as my hands move to her arms sliding them off of her beautiful body. I don't know where this confidence has come from but i'm just letting it happen and she doesn't protest so thats a good sign .

She leans back into my chest with a sigh as my hands move from her arms to her stomach slowly inching my way back up to her chest . She whimpers quietly making me smile . " Chris I ... I haven't done things with a guy in a very long time " she says quietly as she turns to face me looking down at the ground . I move my hand to cup her face and make her look at me and she does " Its okay we don't have to " I say smiling at her and she smiles back shaking her head " No I want to I just ... I just don't want you to be disappointed with my ... inexperience I guess I don't know " she whispers biting her lip nervously making me smirk . " I won't be disappointed we'll work it out as we go okay " I say before I lean down and place a kiss on her head .

Viennas pov -

I nod as I look up at Chris nervously waiting for what is about to happen . Ive had sex before not with many but when I was with my ex boyfriends sex was definitely a main factor in the relationship. I don't know what Chris is into but i'm intrigued to find out .

He grabs me by the throat pulling me into him settling his lips on mine in a sloppy kiss. He squeezes my throat making me gasp and moan into the kiss making him smirk . He turns us and backs me up until I fall onto the bad .

He pulls his shirt over his head as I pull myself up and rest on my elbows watching him in awe. He comes back down kissing me then slowly moving down my neck. My breathing picks up when he kisses a spot that makes my pussy pulse and a whimper to escape my mouth. " Yeah that feel good" he whispers in a gravely voice making me clench my thighs around his waist and nod. " Use your words " he orders and I moan as he bites the spot on my neck. " Y-yes it feels good" I whine as I move my hands to his head running my fingers through his hair. He kisses down the valley of my breasts then taking one of my nipples in his mouth making me whine and arch into him . He pulls it through his teeth making a pain spread through my chest but it feels good at the same time making me whimper and squirm . He moves further down slowly sliding my bottoms off . He kisses my inner thighs making me whine " Chris p-please" " Please what tell me what you want " he whispers in a raspy voice and my face heats up out of embarrassment. " I need you please Chris .... stop teasing" I whine and he dives into my pussy making me gasp. Ive never had head that actually felt good or even felt like anything at all but this OH FUCK this was good. " Chris oh my g-god" I gasp and whine as I grip onto his hair tightly making him groan into me. He sucks ,licks and bites in all the perfect spots to have my legs trembling and my orgasm rushing in faster than i'd expected . " F-fuck c-chris im gonna cum" I moan as my legs tremble harder and my back arches . " uh uh not until you beg me for it " he says grabbing onto my shaking thighs holding them open with a harsh grip . " W-what?" I squeak out of shock but also pain of trying to hold my orgasm back . " You heard me Vienna. Now let me hear how pretty you sound begging " he grits out before going back in sucking even harder making me cry out " Fuck fuck Chris please please can I cum " I whimper out as the pain starts to become too much and I don't think I can hold it anymore . " Louder" he orders and I feel tears start to stream down my face " PLEASE PLEASE UHH PLEASE CAN I CUM" I scream out as I gasping and my grip gets even tighter on his hair . " Yeah you can cum" he says and I immediately fall over the edge . My entire body feels like it ignites into flames as I shake and twitch . " Good girl thats it " chris says as he uses his thumb to help me through my orgasm . I collapses back onto the bad and my hands slide out of his hear as I catch my breathe . " Did so good for me" he says as he positions himself over me . I look up at him and wait for what he's going to do next.

His hand slides over my cheek wiping away the tears . He slowly slides his boxers down and I watch as his dick pops out . Fuck there is no way thats fitting in me I think as I slowly panic . " Chris your... huge I don't think it'll fit" I say as I look back into his eyes with a worried look on my face . " Ill make it fucking fit " he rasps as he lines his tip with my entrance . I take in a breathe as he slowly slides the tip in and I groan from the stretch . " F-fuck your so tight" he groans as he slowly slides into me more . I try and breathe through the pain but Jesus Christ he's he stretching me out so much I feel like I could tear in half . " ahh chris I cant " I whimper as I place my hand on his chest trying to push him away. " Yes you can, I know you can " he says as he snaps his hips forcing his entire length into me . I scream as the pain only got worse now that he's all the way in . He slowly starts thrusting in and out and I breathe harshly as the pain slowly but surely fades away and i'm overtaken by full pleasure.

"Fuck your s-so deep" I whine as he starts thrusting harder and faster . His tip hits my g-spot with every thrust and I can help the moans , whines and screams he pulling out of me right now . " CHRIS OH MY -F-FUCK " I scream as I feel myself squirt around him making him groan " Fuck thats so hot" he groans as he starts pounding into me so hard I cant even think anymore. " Taking me so well . My good fucking girl " he groans as he places a hand around my neck making me moan loudly . He pulls out of me and flips me over so i'm laying flat on my stomach . He easily slides back into me from how soaked I am for him . The new angles he hits in this position have me seeing stars . He's fucked me dumb already, I can barley think let alone speak right now. The only thing I can do is whimper and let out raspy loud moans and he hits so deep in me my legs are trembling and I feel another orgasm coming in quickly . " You gonna cum for me again I can feel you clenching around me" he groans into my ear . I nod and cry out as I orgasm for the third time . Im shaking beneath him as I gasp and whine from how overstimulated i'm becoming .

" C-cant take it " I gasp out as I try and get away from him but he flips me over quickly and puts my legs on his shoulders then starts pounding into me deeper and harder than before making me scream . " Doing so good such a good little slut f'me" he groans as his rhythm starts to falter and get sloppy . Im whining and twitching as he hits deep making me feel like i'm going to squirt again . " F-fuck i'm gonna s-squirt" I gasp to as I feel the pressure building . " Go ahead baby give it to me" he groans and I feel my juices squirt out of me all over him and the bed below me . " Fuuck gonna let me fill you up?" he asks and I look at him nodding . " Fucking god " he groans as his hips falter and his cum fills my pussy making me moan . " so fucking good for me " he whispers and he drops my shaking legs from his shoulder and pulls out flopping down next to me . We're both breathing hard as we lay still . " That was the best sex i've ever had" he says as he pulls me into him . I nod and agree as I still try to fully catch my breathe.

"Lets go get cleaned up them go to bed" he says as he helps me get up . We shower off all the sweat and juices then get back in bed .

" Im so glad I met you" he says as he runs his fingers through my hair . I smile and look up at him " Me too ... I haven't felt this good in a long time " I say and he smiles at me " God I don't know how i'm going to leave at the end of the month " he groans as he holds me tighter. " Let's not worry about that right now ... let's just spend all the time we can together " I say as I softly rub his chest.

Through the course of the time we had before he left we went on cute picnics , swam in the lake , took late night drives to listen to music , face-timed his brothers who i've groan to love over this short amount of time , took walks around town , captured all the stupid but fun things we did , had movie nights , late night hot tub sessions , lots and loooots of amazing sex . Over all meeting Chris has been the best thing thats happened to me in a long time . It hurts to think about the fact he's leaving Tommorrow . Ive tried so hard to try and ignore the fact he'd have to leave me at some point I just wish it wasn't so soon.

We just got to the airport and he's getting his bags out of my trunk. I watch him as I feel the tears start to well in my eyes , i've tried my best to keep my emotions at bay but it just really hit me he's leaving and I don't know when i'll see him again. He look at me with a sad smile as he sees the tears that are spilling down my cheeks . " Come here " he says and I immediately hit him like my life depends on it . He smokes my hair as he soothes me with sweet words " trust me I don't want to leave but I have too " he says and I can hear him choke up a bit . " I- im just gonna miss you so much ... your my favorite person " I cry into his chest as he rubs my back and holds me tight " I know baby I know . Im gonna miss you so much but were gonna call and text and FaceTime any chance we get " he whispers and I nod " I know I just ugh i'm gonna miss having you with me " I sigh as I look up at him and sniffle " I know i'm gonna miss having you in my bed every night and seeing your face every morning but ill be back soon " he says sweetly as he cups my face " You promise?" I ask in a high pitched voice . " I promise and hey matt said he'd love to come here during fall which isn't to far away so you'll get to meet him and nick" he says smiling excitedly " Id love nothing more" I say as I smile .

I watch as he walks away to tsa and I jog back to my car as the tears stream down my face . I don't know how i'm going to function alone again now that I finally got taste of being happy and with someone every day for an entire month .

*cut to fall *

Chris matt and nick just landed and i'm waiting for them by the door excited to finally see Chris again . The second I see them round the corner my heart drops to my stomach , I want run and jump on his but I know he'd hate it so I stand and wait impatiently .

He drops his bags and wraps me in a tight hug lifting me off my feet making me giggle . " I missed you so much" he says making me smile " I missed you more" I says smiling holding his gaze until I break it to give matt and nick hugs . " Im so happy you guys came " I say excited as I lead them to my car.

I told them they could just stay at my house since its pretty fucking big and i'm the only one who lives in it . There is not point in them waisting money on a place to stay .

" So we were thinking of doing a little hike and maybe logging a bit does that sound good to you?" nick asks me as we all eat breakfast "Yeah of course i'm down for whatever" I reply smiling at him then leaning my head on Chris's shoulder .

Its been great having them here for a 2 weeks we all get along so well . Me and Chris have spent every night in bed talking and planning our future . We all spent halloween together , we dressed up and took pictures then watched all our favorite halloween movies .

They flew me down to Boston for Christmas and I met Chris's parents , they are the sweetest people ever. His mom Mary Lou made me feel so loved which is something I miss . The feeling of motherly love is something I've craved for a very long time and now meeting Chris and his family i've felt nothing but unconditional love from all of them .

*4 years later*

Chris proposed to me 2 years ago and i've never been so happy . Our wedding was everything i've dreamed of . I moved to la with him since it made the most sense for me to move instead of him . I still have my family home in Wisconsin which is now what we like to call our vacation home .

We've starting to try for kids and we've never been so happy .

I thank god even day that he brought Chris into my life all those years ago . Honestly i'm not sure id be here if it wasn't for him coming in and completely sweeping me off my feet .

I Cant wait for what the future holds and I dread the day when well no longer be on this earth together but until that day ... I'll cherish the man that saved me .

GOOG FUCKING GOD THIS SHIT WAS LONG . TOOK ME LIKE 30 DAYS TO FUCKING WRITE . IDK WHY ITS SO LONG BUT YOLO . IM TRYING TO GET BACK INTO POSTING AGAIN IVE JUST BEEN BUSY ASF .

LOVE YALL XOXO

💋

[cannibal-unicorn-ssssss]

Thunder cuddles.

Warnings : Not much, this is fluff, mentions of thunder and cigarettes.

No specific gender !!

im sorry its short, i randomly got this idea in class !! lolzz enjoy

You were at Brodies house , his aunt uncle and cousin were out of town, so you and Zakk were staying the night at Brodie. Zakk was smoking a cigarette in the living room, laying on the couch as he flipped through one of the magazines he stole from his father. You took the aunts room , staring at the ceiling , knowing you werent able to sleep because of the thunder outside, you always were afraid of thunder, or any loud noises, even if you hated to admit it. You curl into a ball , holding onto your legs as you try to sleep, trying to ignore the loud thuds from outside, it was already late, and Brodie had to be asleep. You shift in bed for hours, the rain nor the thunder were near to stopping, You eventually got tired of it, you sat up, looking arond before standing up and tiptoying to Brodies room, peaking in to see him listening to some of your cds , he probably had his headphones to max , since he didnt turn around to the sound of his door creaking open. You walk in, closing the door behind you before walking to Brodie, sitting on the bed and putting a hand on his back, making him jump. He takes his headphones off, looking up at you. ''You fucking scared me.'' He let out a shaky breath and sarcastically as you chuckled at his reaction. ''I can't sleep, and Zakk is probably whacking off to his stupid magazines. '' You say, your voice was softer, trying to make an excuse. Brodie looked away and nodded, understanding your explenation, or excuse in this case. ''Yeah.okay.. well what do you want to do? im pretty bored.'' He replied, looking back at your face , smilng softly. ''You just want to hang out here? you know, i dont mind you sleeping here .'' He added after, you look away. ''Yeah, i just need some company. '' You said, sighing knowing you needed anything, anything to fall asleep and ignore the sounds. Suddenly you heard the loudest thunder of the night, making you flinch slightly. Brodie took notice of this, slowly getting closer to you. ''Hey, you okay? its just thunder you know..'' He whispers, trying to comfort you, his hand goes to your shoulder, which made you look at him. ''Yeah,,...im..just scared of thunder, but im not a fucking pussy or something!'' You replied embarassed. Brodie sighs, looking away. ''Im also scared of thunder.. youre not pussy dude.'' He admits, sighing again. ''You want me to help you sleep? i dont know, hug till we fall asleep or something..? Im just trying to help..'' He asked, making you blush a bit. ''I dont need hugs- '' You defended, making Brodie roll his eyes, ''Zakk is not in here, he wont tease us for being scared.'' You were hesitant at first , but after a few minutes you found yourself awkwardly hugging eachother in bed, listening to the rain. ''I hope you locked the door, can you check? '' You asked, your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. ''Im sure i did, im too comfortable to move. '' He said, his eyes were closed as he held you close, making sure to make you feel comforted. ''You dont have to stay awake. you can sleep.'' He whispered, which made you finally close your eyes, feeling more comfortable cuddling your best friend, which you never did. You quickly fell asleep in eachothers arms, forgetting about the thunder and the rain.

Next morning, you two peacfully woke up, letting out yawns and sighs. You look over to Brodie, bursting out laughing at him, making him confused. ''What? Do i have something on my face? '' He said, slowly touching his face, his eyes were still closed, being half asleep. ''You have a penis drawn on your face..'' You say, making him sit up, and looking over at you. ''You do too..'' He said, smiling . Your laugh was gone, looking around for a mirror until you spot some pictures on the floor. You pick it up, looking at it, realizing it was you and Brodie cuddling last night, under it was was ' Fucking loverbirds.' written in a black marker, Zakk probably took this. ''Fucking Zakk took these .'' Brodie groaned. You two heard Zakk laugh and make a stupid joke about the two of you.

[casimircrane]

it is currently 2:16 am in my staying up all night journey and i already had respect for people who stay up late, but gods do i have so much more respect

im a dude who wakes up early, an early girlie if you will, and i havent stay up this late since five or more years ago. this is fucking hard

shoutout to my bestie kathleen who is helping me stay up when everyone else fell asleep

the next time i sleep its going to be for 14 hours

edit: wait shout out to my dog hes also keeping me company

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Stayed up late last night to call a friend with Alfie and ended up falling asleep on the floor lol, I must have moved to bed at some point bc I woke up to them having a major ptsd panic attack and I was still half asleep and felt like I wasn't being much help (they were extra scared bc they thought they had lashed out and hit me, I was just really confused and it took me too long to figure out that's what they were afraid of and reassure them that no, they absolutly had not hurt or scared me, just made me jump a bit) anyway they got up and I fell asleep for another few hours and I feel bad for that bc they were primed to sit and stress about money all morning (they're also out of cigarettes and we absolutly do not have the money for more so they're just. Extra on edge. Not going to remind them I haven't smoked in weeks and ran out of my vape stuff ages ago too AND I reminded them on the last pack they bought that they would need to try and make it last

Im grouchy bc The Blood Plague has started meaning I have. Really horrible cramps. And it's too hot and I'm just hypersensitive today, fuck incorrect hormones

[sainely]

July 31st 2024: Completing coming out to my family

(Archived from my Notes)

TW: Suicidal Thoughts

- I woke up at 4:00 AM again for no reason <i thought i was late for work>

- Really tired this morning

- Actually leaving not rushed for the bus tho which is nice

- Bringing kitty with me (the round little cat nia got me)

- I remembered thinking how i could kill myself yesterday evening

- Not gonna step on any unnecessary cracks today

- I succeeded

- GONNA GET WORK DONE TN >:|

- Popped some nice little pimples <one splattered on the mirror a little>

- GOOD DAY AT WORK SO FAR <I actually am enjoying my time working and talking to my coworkers <3>

- Almost cried over an american politics post… WTF

- Fuck.

- Weird end to a shift

- Got really happy about life and was so excited to see nia and kiss her when i get home and be productive with homework but then mood dropped sorta when my manager told me gently off about doing something at lunch that she would’ve liked to be done earlier

- She also said (before she told me what she didn’t like) “don’t be down about it but…)

- MY BOSSES NOTICE MY BEHAVIOUR WHEN IM UPSET

- i don’t wanna be perceived 🥺

- Then I got irritable and wanted to go home

- Then i got tremendous anxiety to the point i had to go to the lunch area to calm myself down

- Then I just felt like bleh and wished for the happy feeling earlier to come back since it only lasted like 2 minutes

- I also thought about how i could commit suicide and it scared me and caused lots more anxiety

- Then back to feeling blah and now walking to the bus like bleh

- I WANT MY HAPPINESS BACK

- (stuffed) Kitty smells and needs bath :(

- Talked with nia when home

- TOLD MY MOM NIA AND I ARE DATING

- Figured just get it over with

- nia and I went out for Mc Donald’s

- I looked disgusting but i sorta didn’t care

- We talked about how i should put all these in a blog (so i am)

- Then mall

- Got a pretty journal that i don’t know what to do with now since i’m putting these in a blog

- MAYBE BOTH?!!

- Planted my boston lettuce roots in me garden :)

- So many cool and silly bugs

- Picked at my shoulders and chest to figure out my plan of action for how I can take a shower while doing chores <aka nia is doing some laundry and removing a spider from my window as i shower>

- Now i’m SHOWERING 🧼 and watching House

- … and picking my BACKKKK

- stop

- stop stop

- come on

- good girl ☺️

- okay archer instead

- Watched 3 episodes <maybe 4 can’t remember>

- :( must do homework <in a bit mwhehehe>

- Cheesy ham and turkey on tortilla melt time <and more archer>

- made my desk all nice and clean for homework ☺️

- mom still hasn’t answered

- no one but dad responds to things

- damn i pick a lot… maybe i do need therapy

- been doing homework <sorta> since noah helped me go set everything up

- don’t know how i’m gonna pass this exam

- want weed…

- thought of killing myself again… made me scared when i thought of noah and that i could do it

- scared

- i don’t want BPD like Mara as much as my brain craves it

- i don’t want to be talked about behind my back like i’m a burden on those i love

- Anxiety over took and I had to go lay with nia

- We talked about our worries, trauma, family issues, and random other things in our lives for 2.5 hours

- so interesting how we grew up so different

- Fell asleep

I hope to see you another day<3

[crime-bot]

i crashed and fell asleep for a while anyway. do you have any angst ideas. i need sad goro akechi hours probably with chronic leg issues because my knee almost gave out at the store today . anyway how have u been dude i'm just gonna write what im thinking and then edit later

ok so. goro akechi. goro akechi who is unable to look at himself in the mirror and grows his hair out past his knees and is so so so so so gay. goro akechi who studies japanese flower language and talks to haru and yusuke about it. goro akechi who tells haru it was either going to be him or her that killed kunikazu first, and he's happy he did it first so haru wouldn't have that blood on her hands. goro akechi who sits at leblanc every thursday to quietly talk with deadbeat parents club (ryuji, haru, yusuke, akira, sumi joins sometimes but not often cause she doesnt consider her dad bad she just wishes he helped her more during stuff, himself, ann) and tells them what he learned in therapy and helps them all find ways to find peace with it. goro akechi who was gifted a Crow figurine from akane (p5s) after akira told her he was a fan of crow, and then akane found out he was crow, and akane freaked out. goro akechi who is 20 years old but lives life like he is 16 because he missed out on everything. goro akechi who watches featherman with futaba and works with her and yusuke to write featherman fic and get yusuke money by commissioning featherman art. goro akechi with a sticker covered cane. goro akechi with medical necklaces who has stress induced petit mal seizures and chronic pain and multiple disabilities both mental and physical. trans goro akechi. goro akechi who is tired and worn but so fond. goro akechi who is dragged to takemis at a late hour because hes going through an episode and he tries to hurt himself and all the phantom thieves (+ hifumi & shiho bc hifumishihogoro bffs are real, + ken, + sae & naoto) come running to make sure hes okay, to watch him. goro akechi who cries late at night because he can't understand why people are nice to him. goro akechi who doesn't really believe it when he says "i love you" to akira because he doesnt really experience romantic love. he has an odd 3rd thing he feels guilty about with akira but they still say theyre dating. goro akechi in general. idk ..

OH MAN WHAT A FEAST! Sorry for the wait, I've got no agnst ideas for our guy Goro at the moment, but I'm gonna take a good look at this all

imagine Akira braiding all of that hair for him, learning and trying out new things and asking Goro what he thinks of it -- if not in a mirror, then how it feels

I think Yusuke would actually be more enthusiastic about Japanese flower language than Haru, which is saying something. He's captivated by the inner meaning held by such beautiful works of art, crafted both by nature and the nurturing hands of humans, and would easily go on an infodump about the language (and the shape of the petals, the stalks, the colors, both bold and subtle in difference, so... so much.). Meanwhile Haru takes both the language and the technical care of the flowers seriously, and loves sharing tips on how to keep the flowers healthy and vibrant, both before giving to someone and after receiving them. She encourages Goro to try growing something himself since it can feel very rewarding

honestly, I think Haru would appreciate that sentiment in a bittersweet way. Goro has... caused a lot of pain that can never be healed. It's also true that it was very, very easy to draft up plans on killing Kunikazu herself

Goro and the deadbeat dad club is like trickle down therapy and a fucking love it, holy shit. I'm sure he doesn't fully realize how much he's really helping them all

AWW YES, GORO WITH A CROW FIGURINE!! I'm sure talking with Akane is bittersweet, but as time goes on, Goro becomes another person she can depend on and is welcomed by Zenkichi

The Featherman Trio is so great... with their combined forces, the featherman fandom sees fanworks that could be prized novels or showcased in museums

SO MANY STICKERS OF STUFF HE LOVES!

Man I'd love to see more of Goro with disability, and how he and the PTs supporting him navigate it

I've seen a surprising amount of fanfics with Trans Goro, and while technically not trans myself, it's nice to read them and think of how Goro had handled transitioning (either explosively not well or surprisingly... pretty fine? Considering that Japan is pretty tolerant of trans people and it's not necessarily as difficult to properly transition from female to male or vice versa as in the US (which isn't much of a high bar but still))

I love characters that are tired and worn and fond... it's just... damn I relate to it

YES!!! EVERYONE'S THERE FOR HIM! And of course Takemi helps Goro out the best she can, no criticism, asking him how he feels, what he would and wouldn't prefer

oh man I vibe with being aromantic... Akechi trying to figure that out and come to terms with it as well as enjoy what he has with Akira for what it is is so good as well ..

[happiiest]

😷

[sipsteainanxiety]

Could I request headcanons on how Bakugo would act having a hyperactive S/O who has a especially hard time getting tired at night

i am. so sorry this is late af skfhsdkf before i answer this im just gonna plug this fic rq bc i was reminded of it LOL it's just what u asked for

bakugou loves his sleep. we all know he's in bed at eight, the old man, and once he's out, he's out. he's one of those really deep sleepers, yet he wakes up at even the slightest of things if he senses them.

he's gotta wake up early for his shifts and so he likes being well-rested for them. he doesn't particularly like having to wake up early of course—he'd much rather sleep in (who wouldn't?). but well, he had a job to do and he wouldn't let his urge to sleep stop him from being a hero.

for so long—so many years—he had grown accustomed to his set routine and sleep schedule. it was practically ingrained in him—he wouldn't alter it for anything. on days where he had to stay up later than usual or wake up earlier, he'd be so grumpy. his friends quickly learned that he needed his beauty sleep lol.

but then... he met you. and he fell in love.

once you moved in with him, though, he quickly learned that you were not... the easiest person to deal with when it came to sleep.

he loved you, he really did, but fuck you were hyper at the latest times of night. you would be up on your phone or laptop, watching shows or typing away.

at first, he left you alone, figuring that you would eventually come to bed or adapt to his own sleep schedule. but the first few nights where he didn't fall asleep with you tucked into his chest, he found himself waking up crankier than usual. and he knew he was fucked.

sometimes he'd wake up with you curled up in bed next to him. but at other times he'd find you passed out on the couch in the living room, your laptop still open on the little table in front of you.

there was one time he woke up randomly at three in the morning to find you fucking baking cookies. it was a nightmare.

he didn't blame you, no. never got too upset at you or too angry. but he was always tired once eight or nine hit, and he didn't want to sleep without you. he liked having you in his arms as he slept and he knew he couldn't let this shit slide anymore if it was starting to impact his own sleep. he was getting exasperated, at this point.

he came up to you one evening as you were reading something on your phone and stared at you until you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"'m stagin' an intervention," he said bluntly. when you asked what for, he replied, "you 'n yer shit sleep schedule."

"my sleep schedule's not that bad—" you started to protest, but he was having none of that.

"bullshit, you went to bed at four a.m. last night," he hissed out. you gave him a sheepish look and fiddled with your phone.

"okay fine, maybe it is bad. but i just have a hard time sleeping!" you told him.

"no shit." he huffed and crossed his arms. "'m gonna help ya." you only gave him an uncertain look.

he was patient with you. he did his research. he made you try teas that would make you sleepy, had you try melatonin, made you do extra work during the day to tire you out, even had you try to do a 12 hour fast to reset your circadian rhythm. he wasn't going to give up, no sir.

he set up a rule that you couldn't use any technology after eight, to prevent you from staying up even more with all the artificial light in your face. you protested weakly at first, but you knew he was doing this for your own good.

some of the things he did worked. but not all the time. and he eventually had to come to a compromise with you when it became clear that you just couldn't fall asleep as easily as he did.

and so, you settled on going to bed with him whenever he would retire for the night. you let him curl up into your side or wrap you in his arms. sometimes you'd just wait until he would fall asleep until you'd pull up your phone on its lowest brightness setting to play around on it. other times you'd be on it from the start and would let him tug you close to him as he'd peer over your shoulder until he'd fall asleep.

it wasn't perfect, no. but it would do. and eventually, you found yourself falling asleep easier and easier whenever you were warmly tucked against him, listening to the sounds of his soft breathing.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

hi! what about

💦+😬+🛏

im not mentally prepared for angst so here you go! spence/fem!reader

Thank you my love! This tapers off a little at the end as I was concerned it was getting too long again.

Send me emojis and I’ll build you a blurb.

💦 sleeping together for the first time

😬 confessing feelings

🛏 only one bed

A/N- I picture baby Spencer (s3/4) but that’s just me.

CW - swearing, mild dirty talk, oral (m receiving) and allusions to sex but no detail because it was too long already. minors DNI

WC - 1.8k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let Me Be Your Fantasy

Spencer Reid was not your first choice of a roommate.

He was far too chatty sometimes for your liking, especially late at night when he’d had too much coffee. He made small talk for the sake of making small talk because he clearly didn’t like silence.

You enjoyed silence. You didn’t feel the need to fill every void with pointless chatter.

He was practically nocturnal by his own admission. The substantial amount of caffeine he consumed meant he rarely fell asleep until the early hours of the morning.

You loved to sleep. If you didn’t get in your eight hours you were groggy to say the least.

At least when you roomed with Morgan or Emily or JJ, you just slept. Sometimes with the girls you might watch a movie if it was early enough but it was easy, it was chilled.

Chill was not a word that had ever been used to describe Spencer Reid.

But probably the main reason you would have roomed with literally anyone else on the team (aside from Rossi and his snoring) was because of how ridiculously attracted to him you were.

Spencer was categorically not your type. And it wasn’t as though you’d been instantly attracted to him when you met because you hadn’t. But somewhere over the course of the years you’d worked together, you’d started seeing him in a different light.

It had happened so gradually you’d barely noticed it happening. One day you’d thought he looked kind of cute but you’d thought the light had just been hitting him the right way.

A few months later you had an out of control crush and on more than one occasion had imagined him bending you over the nearest piece of furniture and fucking you dumb.

It had been your own fault you’d ended up in this situation. You’d been in the bathroom when Hotch had been allocating room partners and you’d been stuck with Spencer.

And to make matters worse, you’d arrived in the motel room to find there was only one freaking bed.

“It’s a big bed and it’s only one night.” Spencer had shrugged, not seeing the big deal.

“I like my own space.” You grumbled, tossing your go bag in an armchair.

“Well, I’m certainly not sleeping on the floor.” Spencer huffed a little.

“Neither am I.”

“I guess we’re at a stalemate then.” He smirked at you. “It’s one night.”

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes trying to ignore how delicious he looked at that moment in time.

His hair was incredibly messy and you could almost imagine it would look that way right after sex. His eyes were heavy with what was probably sleep but you couldn’t help pretend it was lust.

The top three buttons on his shirt were undone and his tie hung loosely under his neck. He had his shirt sleeves pushed up to his elbows and for some reason his forearms were particularly inviting.

You imagined them either side of your head, holding himself up as he fucked you.

You hadn’t had sex in a long time, that’s all it was. You were abundantly horny and Spencer was just an attractive male in close proximity.

That was all it was.

You both used the bathroom and changed into sleep attire, Spencer a pair of flannel pajama bottoms and t-shirt, you in a pair of shorts and tank top.

You forced yourself to opposite ends of the bed, leaving as much space between you as physically possible.

You shared barely more than a handful of words with each other. Perhaps Spencer sensed your reluctance to talk for once and he left you be.

Spencer read for a while and you scrolled on your phone on various social media sites until you fell asleep.

***

When you awoke it was still dark and you blinked your bleary eyes a few times before rolling over.

You forgot where you were for a moment, it happened a lot when you were away as much as you were.

It was dark and so you didn’t realise you weren’t in your own bed, alone, until you started spreading your limbs out on the mattress only to come into contact with something.

“Ow.” Spencer whined as you kicked him.

But you barely heard him over the sound of your heart beating in your ears.

You might have kicked him with your foot, but it was where your hand had ended up that threw you through a loop entirely.

You’d yet to bring yourself to move your hand away, completely tensed up, so Spencer knew exactly what was going through your head.

“Is there any chance you’ll just roll over, go back to sleep and pretend you didn’t notice?” He croaked, laying perfectly still.

Your wandering hand had somehow found his crotch and his very hard cock.

“I…uh…sure.” You finally withdrew your hand and rolled onto your back.

The two of you laid side by side staring at the strip of light on the ceiling coming from the moonlight seeping in through the crack in the curtains.

You were both silent for a very long time but you both knew the other wasn’t asleep.

Eventually Spencer sighed.

“It’s perfectly normal.” He said and you weren’t sure if he was telling you or himself.

“Uh huh.” You croaked, still reeling a little.

“It happens to all men. I don’t have much control over it.”

You could hear the embarrassment in his voice.

“Let’s just forget about it, like you said.” But really, the last thing you wanted to do was forget about it.

“I wish it were that easy.” He mumbled but you heard it.

You rolled your head to the side on the pillow so you could look at him. The moonlight illuminated his hazel eyes in the most stunning way it tugged on your heart strings.

“What do you mean?” You whispered.

He turned to look at you too and there was something unreadable about his expression.

“It’s not exactly…going away.” He swallowed and sank his teeth into his bottom lip.

“Oh.” You squeaked, feeling a heat spread between your legs. “Can I do anything to help?”

His eyes widened at your words and you instantly blushed.

“No, not like that! I just mean…I don’t know what I meant.”

He sighed again, rubbing his eyes with his palms.

“As long as I’m sharing a bed with you Y/N, it’s not going to go away any time soon.”

“Huh?” You frowned at him, head spinning with confusion and sexual frustration.

“Don’t play dumb.” He rolled his eyes. “You know I have a crush on you. And this close proximity to you is…it’s…I’m just a man with urges ok? Just because people don’t see me that way doesn’t mean I’m not just like every other guy ok? And being in bed with a woman that looks like you while you’re wearing next to nothing…it does things to me. I hoped you wouldn’t notice because I don’t want to make things awkward but…fuck!”

Somewhere during his rant you’d made a decision. And that decision was that Spencer Reid was going to fuck you tonight.

So you’d rolled onto your side again and palmed him through his pajama bottoms causing him to trail off his ramblings.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I told you, I can help.” Your eyes were dark as you looked at him and Spencer was at a complete loss for words.

You manoeuvred yourself in the bed, pushing his legs apart and kneeling between them, keeping the duvet around your shoulders.

His breath hitched as you toyed with the waistband of his pants.

When you simultaneously pulled the waistband down and disappeared under the sheets, he audibly gasped. But that was nothing compared to the feral moan that left his lips when you took his cock in your mouth.

You didn’t waste any time in taking him to the back of your throat, gagging slightly due to his size. Spencer rocked his hips lightly into your mouth, mumbling and moaning incoherently.

You ran your tongue up his vein and swirled it over the head of his cock, causing his hips to buck a little more violently.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N.” He panted, shaking hands finding your hair and instantly getting lost in your tresses.

You smiled around him as you took him all in your mouth again, burying your nose in his pubic hair.

You were wet and seeping onto your shorts, desperate to be touched by him, to be fucked by him.

You squeezed your thighs together as you took his balls in your hand and started playing with them, quickening your pace on his cock.

Spencer was wriggling beneath you, panting loudly and pulling a little on your hair.

“You gotta stop…” he breathed, tugging your hair more firmly.

You brought your lips to his head and swiped your tongue over it once more before coming off him entirely.

“You weren’t enjoying it?” You asked, wiping the back of your hand over your mouth.

“I was enjoying it too much. I was gonna come.” His chest heaved up and down with his deep breaths.

“I thought that was the point of what I was doing?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

Spencer smirked at you and it was dizzying.

And then shy, awkward Spencer Reid surprised you by grabbing you by your neck and pulling you down to him so he could crush your lips together.

He kissed you passionately, rolling his hips against yours whilst holding you a little roughly by the neck.

“Y/N,” he spoke into your lips. “Your mouth isn’t the hole I want to come in.”

You moaned viscerally, grinding against him. You were so hazy you barely registered that he flipped you over so you were beneath him and those damn forearms rested against your head like you’d imagined so many times.

He got rid of his pajama pants and his fingers edged up your thigh and up the leg of your shorts.

You were soaking wet and Spencer hissed as he ran his fingers through your folds.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” He gasped a little.

“You’re not the only one with a crush, Reid.” You wiggled your shorts over your hips. “I need you, Reid. I need you to fuck me like, yesterday.”

“Fuck,” he moaned, kissing you again while you wrapped you legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

Sex with Spencer was not a disappointment. You worried you’d built it up in your head too much over the years, maybe the reality wouldn’t live up to the fantasy.

It more than lived up to the fantasy.

Sex with Spencer was like an out of body experience. You’d never felt pleasure like it and you knew for certain that it would never be able to be a one time thing.

Now you’d had him once, there was no going back.

That was only solidified after when he pulled you into his arms and still panting, whispered into your hair, “I don’t have a crush on you, Y/N. I’m in love with you.”