#I HATE SPENDING MONEY !!!!!!! and it just feels like such a waste every time bc i know i can find it on the internet in beautiful epub

[cloudd-nyne]

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[tragedygf]

i love being an epub and pdf downloader not paying for books feels too good like it just puts a smile on my face but i always forget how crazy it is to read a book in physical form like thats what life is about. in the end

[rattofadyke]

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[zhuhongs]

well I thought I was going to fall asleep early, but it seems like I have too many things keeping me up and since its too cold to sit at my desk and write at my journal this thought is going on the internet. Tl:dr: tomorrow is my birthday. send me 50 dollars. i am going to bed. gn

Yea, recently everything just feels so.... much. Like I'm always at a state of just slightly overwhelmed that makes it feel usless to do anything. Like I'm worried about money, and I know that I have credit so I can use it and I have things that I need and things I want that I shouldn't deny myself of just because things are a bit trying (like food I want, things I need to fix). But then I can't help but have that internalized poor mantra of "why are u buying this when u have bills to pay?" which is dumb bc I deserve to use what little money I have in making my life more enjoyable . But I'm also like. sage did U really need to upgrade your phone or buy an interview shirt or hair dye? Like, no not technically, but these are things I should do to just make myself feel better. I don't want to be using a broken phone, might as well upgrade when theres a promotion that sure makes it hard right now but is a smart idea in the long run. And yes while I didn't need the dye or the shirt - it will make me more confident in my interview so I can get a higher paying job and not be surrounded by Stuff all day causing me to want to constantly buy things bc I wont be in a store 8hrs a day 5 days a week. So like, yes you do need those things and its negligible when I consider the credit I have. And even if I have some debts, I know that no one can bail me out becausemy family is in the same situation. And I have time. I just started working. Its a rough month, and the fact that I have a trip planned makes it even harder. Because that means more money. But if I always deny myself the opportunity to go and do things bc I don't have the money then I'd never leave my house ever, and thats how I grew up and I was miserable and the money will be gone and the month will be tight anyways so just go anddon't think about it. But I do think about it, because it's hard, and I work so hard my entire life, for what? To pay rent?? other people my age get to say the money they make and build a life yet I was dealt a shitty hand and have had to spend my time working for something people are given. And it hurts bc I've wasted so much time and worked so much andhave 9 dollars to my name and so much debt. But I will find a way. ANd it will all be paid off. I don' know how but I've done this same thing before, cried about it, and went to work the next day and figured it out. And my mother has done this everyday for the past 30 years, and I feel so sorryforher because I know it's hard. And she deserves so much more and I want to give it to her, and I'm not even 23. And tomorrow is my birthday and I have to go work. Even if I called out I don't know what it would help. And I want to go out with my friends and have a good time but I need to paymy car and I need to pay my bills. And I work 9 to 5 and when I get home I have to walk my dog and make dinner. And it's cold. And by the time all of that is done I feel like I have no time to make art or practice chinese or do any of my hobbies and better myself. I''m so tired that all I do is sleep. And I feel myself falling into old habits. And I hate it, i hate it, I am trying so hard to clawmy way out of it. It's starting with a simple routine. Even if it hasn't gotten to the point where I sit and draw or read or write every day. At least I do the dishes when I finish eating, brush my teeth twice a day, foldmy clothes, make my bed, stay off my phone during my breaks, and pack a lunch. Even if that's something I should have achieved long ago, I didn't. So now I need to do that before I can learn how to do hwat I want sadly, because dreamings costs money and dreaming requires habits. AAAAAA. okay. I need to go to bed bc I need to be up at 8am to get ready for work. Happy bday to me.

[amakumos]

i cried like actually i hate u so much ok now im gonna wrote a long ass review and try my best to not give any spoilers

you manage to outdo yourself with every fic you publish like this is all New York Times bestselling worthy? like i never though i could feel so many emotions at once like pain, love and genuine happiness, reading your work is really a whole experience and i don’t know what you put in your fics but they feel so immersive like i’m actually in there and feel the same emotions the characters feel. and all this just from a high schooler on tumblr who posts delicately written fics for fun? seriously, haru yo koi is such a beautifully written story, i can’t even call it a fanfiction because it’s just so much more than that. if this was a 500 paged book and even more in depth, actually going into detail as to what happened in those 5 years, i’d spend big money to purchase that book. the love jungwon has for y/n is just so pure and it feels as if they are the perfect pairing, forever remaining in their honeymoon phase and when i read the part where jungwon read ‘that’ if yk what im saying i genuinely thought ‘that’ happened but i was bamboozled. it may seem stupid and trivial of me to spend this much time invested in this but i don’t think i can get over this like you might not waste the time to read this shitty ass review written by someone who just doesn’t have anything better to do (i actually have exams in a week) but seriously, you are so immensely talented and you deserve more than a few thousand followers on tumblr.

okay that’s all this was written more effort than i had ever put into any book report for school okay bye good night i won’t be sleeping tonight bc this will be the only thing running through my mind. goodbye have a good day

this ask actually made me cry . i am going to sob right now rereading this because this was actually the first thing i read when i woke up and i Sobbed

THANK U??? LIKE THATS SO CRAZY i do not think my work is anything near new york times bestseller worthy but IM SO SURPRISED AND ALSO REALLY GLAD AND THANKFUL THAT U FEEL THAT WAY?? and HOLY thank u!!!! i really wish i could’ve gone into more detail about ynwon’s time together but i Only have so little time 😢😢Man i will actyally be rereading this review any time i need joy in my life because i am so happy u liked this silly fic 🥹🥹 THANK U THANK U THANK U☹️☹️☹️

i hope u have a good day too <33 and goodluck for ur exams next week!!!!

[femmefatalevibe]

So I’ve been dating this guy for 2.5 years now on and off bc it’s just complicated. Anyways, I live on my own and it’s not been the easiest, I only went to college for a year and am learning skills to help me land a more permanent career. My financial situation is temporarily not constant. I feel like I do so much of the spending and pushing for us to actually go out on dates and do things. I don’t mind it bc I’m not the type to hold onto things and also hold it over someone’s head that I’ve taken on the load but it’s getting rlly exhausting. How can you get a guy to just know to at least spend money on you, and go half on the groceries at least or take over a bill or pitch in? I feel like he thinks just spending time with me is enough and I wish that’s how the world works but it doesn’t and I’m especially insecure now bc I’m on my own and don’t want to rely on my family. I can temporarily only afford to pay for myself, but every time I did have the extra money I would happily spend it. I don’t know why it’s so hard for some people to get the common sense to pay for themselves or pitch in for things if time is being shared. I just want fairness…

Hi love! I'm really sorry you're going through this. I hate to have to be so blunt, but he's a user (and a loser quite honestly). From what you're describing, he doesn't value you (and that's a reflection of his own self-esteem – not you!) enough for you to waste your time, energy, or money on him any longer. Invest in yourself. While every woman has the right to decide whether she wants to split financial costs (if you feel more comfortable with going 50/50 financially instead of expecting a man to pay for more or all of your meals, activities, etc. that's totally fine if it works for you), there's no excuse for someone to feel entitled (especially a man in our current society/dating world) to your always paying their share. Drop him and invest your time in yourself. Date around if you desire. Find someone worthy of your time and energy. While a great man does not necessarily need to be a provider, I've found that all secure men want to assume this role because they're attuned to their masculine side, not as a means of control.

Stay strong. Hope this helps xx

[ghosty1111]

mental health vent undercut teehee *anime head bonk* ^ڡ^

im so worried that the company i interviewed at isnt gonna get back to me. ive been applying to jobs for almost 3 years now and ive only gotten one other interview before this(that i got rejected from). the interviewer mixed up on telling me what job i was being interviewed for(i applied to 2 at the company) and didnt tell me the real one until the end of the interview. so i fear i messed it up by talking about it in the context of a different job. i emailed them after this about it and its almost been a week(the interviewer said theyd get back to me in a couple days).

the other problem im having is ive been avoiding replying to emails for the """job""" i technically have as an assistant art teacher for bday parties for some art company bc ive been so convinced i wont do well at the job due to my mental health and i shouldnt do it. i have one already booked for the 6th so i have no choice, the emails were for other future work. im embarrassed that i cant just get myself to do something even this small, but also my brain has become All Or Nothing levels of stubborn in regard to work(either i get a fulltime wellpaying job that can allow me to move out or it isnt worth it). even tho this job would be good for SOME money, my brain keeps trying to convince me that im too fatigued and suicidal and its not worth it at this point. that i deserve better.

im tired of being stubborn and having high expectations for life but i cant help it if i want something worthwhile after spending every single day feeling like shit and hating being alive. they all said this feeling would eventually go away if i continued to work on fixing it. but it hasnt. everyone makes fun of this 'negative teenage view' of life, but why would i want to make something that makes me feel worse? its not as easy as just 'changing your views and faking it' trust me ive tried so many times. and i burnout so fast every time. my body isnt meant to live like that and i hate it.

my mom said that i shouldnt get a fulltime job bc what if i cant handle it, and i said that i would rather try an option that would potentially change my life and find out for sure that im not meant for being alive, rather than wasting my energy on something that changes nothing. i hate my suicidal mentality.

[himalayaan-flowers]

i wasted money today on “past life readings”. i know it’s all made up and i feel so stupid. 😞

i just wanted to know if i’d done something bad and that’s why I’ve suffered in this life. i know there’s probably no reason for it. i just have bad genes.

i’m thinking of getting a dna test. apparently you can find out about your tendency towards poor mental health and personality characteristics

maybe if it gives me a decent score on “agreeableness” i won’t feel quite so horrible a person? idk. i v much doubt there’s much truth to it

i thought maybe i’d feel less guilty for my mental health problems if i can see it’s in my genes and i was just destined to be that way but people would probably still say it’s my fault for not “playing my hand” well and not making better choices with the genes i was given

i’m just so tired of waking up every morning and being me. i love my family and cat. i wish i could’ve been born into my family but as someone else. someone pretty. so i wouldn’t have to hate how i look. i’d have a different voice. i’d be someone without crippling anxiety and ocd and depression who can function properly. i would actually be good at things i care about. i wouldn’t spend every moment of my life hating myself and feeling guilty. and i would actually be able to be useful to others. i’d lift them up & not drag them down. i’d be a gift to my family, not a burden.

i wish i hadn’t been brainwashed into thinking “life will be good if you do well in school”. i spent so much time studying and for what? decent grades did nothing for me. the school just wanted to look good and they told you over and over the outcome of your life depends on how well you do in exams. but a degree means nothing if you’re too mentally ill to use it. i could’ve got my current job with much lower grades & no degree. i went to school and got bullied for years for nothing.

i was reading about reincarnation and people keep saying you choose your life circumstances before you’re born and if you have a hard life it’s bc you’re supposed to learn lessons from it. people tell me maybe the point of my life is to learn to accept myself as i am but i don’t want to. 😞 i feel like i’m in a play and i’ve been given the role of “stupid neurotic annoying weird ugly useless girl” to play and people are just telling me to accept that role and it’s sad if there’s no reincarnation i’ll never get to play a different part.

in a way i hope this is karma of some sort bc at least then it would make sense. bc if it’s not it just seems so unfair. i don’t think i’m just whining the psychiatrist i spoke to literally told me my life is a mess & my mental health problems are severe and it makes me “extremely handicapped” but why??? is it bad luck or bad karma or stupidity the reason i’m like this?? i wish i knew

[sureuncertainty]

not adding to the post i saw bc i don’t want to get into discourse (so pls don’t discourse with this either) but i really don’t think that the chick fil a outrage can be compared to the wizard game, like i get what you’re trying to say but I don’t think it’s a fair comparison.

maybe this is me just being defensive bc chick fil a is literally one of the only restaurants in my area that i can safely eat and that doesn’t fuck up my order or take 10000 years in the drive through or cost an arm and a leg, its consistent and reliable and i literally have an eating disorder and am extremely poor, looking for alternatives is hard and costly and usually ends up with me either not eating or eating poorly, wasting money, and feeling awful about myself. like yes i’m sure i COULD find alternatives but that takes spoons and it’s a very high risk situation, and i don’t always have the energy to cook either

y’all have to understand that this isn’t just “an inconvenience” sometimes it’s literally the difference between me eating dinner or not, like something being easy for you is not the same as it being easy for everyone, and when it comes to FOOD which is necessary for survival, that’s different than when it comes to ENTERTAINMENT. yes there are alternatives to chick fil a, but accessing alternatives is not as simple as you make it sound. i try my best but I can’t always succeed. in my area there are a LOT of extremely shitty fast food places that fuck up my order and cost a lot and take 112982398 years to get bc they’re all understaffed and underpaid, so sorry that I go to the one place that’s on my way home from work that I can count on will actually make my order within 5-10 minutes

the main annoying thing to me about the game is the way that people still can’t let h*rry p*tter go, it’s a GAME. it’s also the people that are BRAGGING about playing the game that piss me off. i don’t go online and brag about eating chick fil a (unless that’s how you wanna see this post)  i just feel guilty about it all the time bc of posts like that, which adds to my feelings of guilt and fear and shame that already surround eating on a daily basis for me so thanks for that ig? 

and before you say it’s my job to get over it (i literally saw someone on that post say ‘i don’t care if it’s your safe food‘ like fuck you actually), you don’t know me or my life or my mental illness or my reasons for doing things. i have ARFID which is not my job to explain you can look it up if you’re curious. and yeah it’s not the same as no ethical consumption under capitalism whatever when there are alternatives, but the only reason the chick fil a thing got big was because it got out where they were sending their money. believe me there are LOTS AND LOTS of fast food organizations and companies that are directly donating to hateful places and republican politicians and christians and bigots etc. they just aren’t talked about as much.

and y’know what i’ll go ahead and say it, fast food IS accessibility for me, it’s important to have places where I can go and spend a little bit of money and get a meal that’s ready to eat without requiring me to prepare it or create dishes. where i used to live, we also had chick fil a and I never went there because we had alternatives that I could eat, that were safe and affordable. Now that I live in an area that does not have easily accessible safe affordable alternatives, I go there sometimes. and this is not a fair comparison to a video game founded on antisemitism and transphobia. 

that being said maybe i’m just getting defensive bc i am betraying my community and a horrible person whatever, believe what you want about me but i’m just saying that there are aspects that you have to consider, and your experiences are not universal. Believe me, there are other things I do to support my community, I can’t fight every single battle, and just bc this one happened to get more outrage doesn’t mean that I deserve to be shamed and treated like i’m just avoiding taking accountability or doing what’s convenient for me for occasionally eating one of my safe foods in an area with surprisingly limited options for safe and affordable actual fast food for being such a touristy city. believe me i’ve tried alternatives. and i try to do Mod Pizza more often than CFA, (those are my two safe fast food options nearby), but Mod is also more expensive, requires me to get out of my car and interact with people, and also takes a lot longer. those are not always possible for me.

not that i have to defend myself or my choices to anyone, i just wanted to make this post to tell my followers (pls don’t reblog it or let it breach containment i can’t deal with that) that it’s more complicated than this black and white issue people are making it out to be. think what you want about me but i have my reasons and I don’t think it’s doing anyone any favors to shame members of the community who are poor and disabled for doing what we have to do to survive and i REALLY don’t think it’s fair to compare something like food to something like entertainment

[totopopopo]

Feeling terrible as usual

[paydemlink]

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[localcryptic]

im venting in the tags if u see this no you don’t ❤️

[remcycl333]

you don’t need to be happy to be manifest!! but...

who doesn’t want to be happy?

(long post alert, sorry in advance lol. but please read it all the way through, i really think it’ll be worth it<3)

ok, to preface this, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. i’ve manifested great, positive things while i was in depressive episodes. i manifested wonderful things with tears streaming down my face. BUT, i think something a lot of people overlook is that it’s really beneficial to feel positively about your desires.

this is something i realized a few months ago, saw great results from, and then forgot all about and, well, stopped seeing the progress i wanted. but i’m back on track now, don’t you worry.

(i’m going to be using the example of my sp, bc that’s what i have the most experience with, but this applies to literally anything u r manifesting) 

i’ve made a few other posts saying pretty much what i’m about to say in this next paragraph, so if you’ve already read those, i’m sorry for repeating myself. just bear with me lol. 

so i came to a realization a few months ago--and i don’t exactly remember how i came to this realization--that i kind of...hated my sp? like i fucking resented him. and i was like, wait a minute, that’s not right. i love my sp. that’s why i’m trying to manifest him! so why do i feel like this?

i used to focus on manifesting in steps, so naturally the first step was contact. so i’d be affirming all day every day “my sp is texting me right fucking now😡“ (and other variations) and then when he didn’t text me, it’d just make me angry at him. but technically, he didn’t even do anything wrong?? sure he didn’t text me, but he had no clue he was supposed to? idk it was all complicated and weird. and then when i wasn’t mad that he didn’t text me, i was having arguments with him in my head, preparing for some weird fight that my brain just assumed was going to happen whenever we did get into contact. which is weird, bc my sp and i never fight. like, this is my ex. yet i literally cannot tell you a single fight that we have ever had. we literally get along perfectly. we have never fought (or even argued) once in all the time that we’ve known each other. yet my brain was always fighting him. and it was just, exhausting?

and so one day, when i was troubleshooting, i realized: rem, if you were in a relationship right now with your sp, would u hate him? would u be constantly fighting with him? god i fucking hope not! 

now, what would i be thinking? i’d be laying in bed at night, hugging my pillow, thinking about how much i love him. reflecting on how happy he makes me, how perfect he is, how good he makes me feel. i’d be thinking about how he is the most perfect boyfriend i could ever have asked for. i’d be content after spending a long day with him, excited to spend the next day with him as well. 

and during the day i wouldn’t be wondering why he wasn’t texting me. if anything, i’d be wondering why he was texting me considering we were literally hanging out, together, at that very moment! 

i would trust him. i’d be walking on cloud nine. i’d be content. i’d be...happy. 

now, in no way am i saying that you need to be happy 24/7, or dancing on air, or feeling intense butterflies in your stomach. you’re allowed to have other emotions. you’re allowed to feel anger, you’re allowed to break down and cry! you’re allowed to have bad days. but if you’re feeling these negative emotions about your desire, i want you to try your hardest to release them. i don’t think any of us want to have breakdowns over our manifestations and cry about them, but if it happens, it happens. just pick yourself up afterwards--or stop it before it even really begins, trust me, it gets easier to do this--and maybe do a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, and remind yourself why you’re on this journey in the first place. once again using the sp example, it’s because you love your sp. because they are perfect for you! they make you happy. you love their smile, their laugh, the witty conversations you have with each other. you love being in their arms.  you love when they’re in your arms! they did something that made you fall in love with them, or want to be in a relationship with them. what was it? focus on that. 

enough with the sammy ingram (i could go on a whole rant about her) style affirmations. with the “he’s going to fucking text me, he has no choice, he’s my fucking boyfriend and he does what i say.” like....ew?? i used to say shit like this, and it was really what started making me resent my sp. i was ordering him around in my head, creating this weird dynamic between us (which, he wasn’t even aware was there), and getting mad when he wasn’t doing what i was ordering him to do. looking back, it was borderline psychotic. it was just turning it into me against him, and that’s not what i wanted at all. i want to be in a relationship with him, with mutual love. i don’t want to be his boss, or his mom, or his fucking military sergeant!! (i don’t even know if that was the proper term bc fuck the military, but u guys know what i mean lmfaooo)

(disclaimer if u use these types of affirmations and they work for you, go for it. but i used them for a while and they just weren’t it for me. carry on)

i guess what i’m trying to say is, those affirmations weren’t making me feel good. they weren’t making me feel like a “boss ass bitch”. they were making me feel...like a bitch. and strangely, powerless. i’d say these affirmations, or just bland ones where i wasn’t necessarily demanding my sp to throw himself at my feet and kiss my shoes and tell me he is nothing without me, and ultimately, if i wasn’t feeling resentment, i was feeling...nothing. 

once again, i want to make this so so so clear, you don’t need to be happy to manifest. but my belief? if your affirmations aren’t making you feel joy, or excitement, or contentment, then what’s the fucking point? if you think of your desire, and don’t feel positive feelings about it, then you might have lost your way a little. 

don’t worry!! it’s an easy fix. easy, and even...fun? rewarding? comforting? i just want you to take some time--laying in bed at night is the perfect time to do this in my experience--to think about why you want your desire so badly. do you want money? think of how great life is going to be once you have it. of all the stuff you’re going to buy, for yourself, and maybe even for others. don’t focus on the problems you want to fix with it right now. think of that clothing item you’ve had your eye on, or that book you’ve been wanting to read but haven’t felt like “wasting” money on. think of how excited you are to buy those things, because you’re going to! think of the good. not the bad.

remember: you create more of what you focus on. focus on the good, get the good. focus more on the bad...get more of the bad. 

your manifestation is done. it is created. it is on it’s way to you. it is here! all there’s left to do is feel excited. it’ll be here any moment now, how fucking exciting is that! it’s safe for you to be happy. it’s safe for you to focus on the feelings you would have if you had it, rather than focus on affirming specifically to bring it to you. it is safe to be happy. 

i used to affirm solely for contact, all day every day, and sometimes i’d get it. but it’d be short lived, my sp would be distant, etc. but then once i started focusing on truly living in the end and basking in my love for my sp, thinking about how perfect and amazing he is, i not only got contact (without having to specifically affirm for it), but he was actively engaged in our conversations, making up new topics to keep the conversation going, asking me about and expressing interest in my hobbies and interests, bringing up and reminiscing on old memories of our previous relationship, complimenting me, flirting with me, asking me to hang out, etc. shit i was not getting when i was “he is so fucking in love with me and he’s texting me right fucking now”-ing all day long. i started focusing on how amazing and perfect and good to me he was, and that’s exactly what i got in my reality. who would’ve thunk? 

and you know what? yeah, he fucking loves me. he misses me and he wants to be with me. but that’s a given. but that doesn’t fucking matter. i am the only person who matters in my reality!! sure he loves me, but do i love him??? that’s what the universe wants to know. that’s what truly fucking matters. the universe brings me my desires. so i’m gonna fucking desire it! 

guys, please trust me on this. just try it out, with whatever you’re manifesting. this could be what you’re missing. this could bring your manifestation to you. i promise, if you’re like i was and feel resententment or anger or hatred towards your desire, this is going to make you feel so fucking good. just stick with this for a week or two. i promise, you’ll see movement.

and remember, there is no one to change but self. don’t change them (or it), change your perception of them (or it). 

let’s make manifesting fun again!!! it’s the perfect tool to bring happiness into your life. so fucking let it!!!! 

so no, you don’t need to be happy in order to manifest. but....maybe, just maybe, prioritizing your happiness isn’t such a bad thing. i mean, who doesn’t want to be happy?

[oliviamillss]

reading dreams chart

im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao

**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**

sun:

sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners. 

sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.

sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.

sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.

sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.

moon:

moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao

moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg

moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.

moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective. 

mercury:

mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say. 

mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.

mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.

mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*

mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator

mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)

venus:

venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser. 

venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic. 

venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’

venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others. 

venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign. 

mars:

mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.

mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.

mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss

mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.

mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist. 

mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.

jupiter

jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.

jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.

jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.

saturn:

saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?

saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo

saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn

saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms. 

uranus: 

uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same. 

uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.

uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future. 

neptune:

neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.

neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.

neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise. 

pluto:

pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.

north node:

north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.

chiron:

chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)

lilith:

lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf. 

lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.

lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming

moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up. 

 i ought to mention!!

there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.

summary!!!

basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.

im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol

hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3

[the-bjd-community-confess]

bear with me here. lately, well, for the past 6 months we’ve been trying to buy a house. rent in my area is terrible and moving out of my area isn’t an option, so in theory it’s literally cheaper to buy a house. plus my bf and i have good (for our area) jobs. however we wanted to only put down 15%, so we need this thing called mortgage insurance. which also goes through a credit check, like the mortgage would. we’re on the mortgage together. somehow i was approved for the mortgage but denied for the insurance, because them checking my credit lowered my score to one fucking point below what’s needed. i don’t have a bad score, or a terrible debt to income ratio, my score is literally only “fair” because i bought a car 3 years ago and that vs my student loans that i’ve had for ages lowered my credit age, and therefore my score. bc. i don’t fucking know. capitalism™️. so we have to put down 20% of a down payment which we didn’t budget for because we were fine if it weren’t for, y’know fucking credit bureaus. it’s an extra 10k we don’t have because we didn’t expect to need.

so anyway i’m taking it hard. real hard. because along with my house savings i obviously also have a doll savings (it’s much lower though) for, you know, my expensive hobby that i finally started to being able to like actually buy for around 4 years ago. and i feel guilty because it’s like, if it wasn’t for my score and if i wasn’t indulging on things that make me happy, i’d be able to save more for “””adult things””” like buying a house. i almost in a panic started calculating and figuring out how i could sell my collection and all my doll stuff because i’m sure if i sold literally everything i have related to the hobby i would be able to cover the extra 10k. i was like packing shit up and taking pics in a fugue state before my bf stopped me and was like it’s not your fault?? but anxiety and growing up poor af until this job i got after college says otherwise. as a kid and even in college i did not buy anything that wasn’t necessary or if i did it was a long time saving for like a 60$ video game, so having this much fucking money (comparatively) is so wild to me and i was so excited to finally collect and sew and create for these beautiful dolls i’ve always admire. my collection is mostly the “”cheaper dolls”” with some expensiver dolls (resinsoul is great though i legitimately love them for more than $ reasons),

i buy a lot of second hand because i love restoring things, i don’t even buy the big fancy full sets (i shell ocs mainly), and tend to use layaways to assuage my anxiety about paying sums of money over 3 digits. somewhere inside me my brain says “you brought this on yourself, you knew this was a waste of money”. it’s not i know logically, especially if all my other needs and debts are taken care of, but like. h

tl;dr so anyway this is a fucking weird ass confession. i feel sick for even indulging in this hobby and spending money on things i like instead of only paying my bills and food and taking care of my cats bc i could have used that money to add to my house savings to offset my apparently shitty credit score. i’m contemplating a second job and selling every doll thing i have because i don’t feel like i’m pulling my weight even though i am according to my bf. we’re not going to be homeless, we’ll just sign another year where we are, but it’s crushing to know that i clawed my way to stable income and doing something that makes me happy and i still can’t even be good enough for a house that’s only about 130k . that’s so so fucking cheap in this state it’s insane. i hate everything and feel so fucking guilty.

~Anonymous

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Can I have Present mic, Aizawa, and all might where they learn their young student is fatherless? Like... their father walked out/went to prison when they were young. I'm sorry if this is time consuming, but I can't stop sobbing over my father.

I'm the situation baby but remember it wasn't your fault

I changed it up a little bit with Mics- I hope you don't mind

Present Mic:

• from the getgo something was wrong

• The moment you walked into class he could tell

• You looked like shit

• Dark bags under your eyes, hair messily brushed, just to get it out if your face, and your eyes were a light red.

• You didn't look particularly happy to be there either

• something turns in his stomach, a gut feeling that something really had went down

• And he hated seeing his students upset

• but he was relatively close to you to begin with, his felt different

• He felt like he had to do something

• Everyone settled into their seats as the bull rung but his eyes remained on you

• You honestly didn't pay attention during the lesson

• He could tell as much

• class finishes and the bell rings but you sit still, and it's not until most of the students have trickled out of the room do you start packing up

• He walks over and kneels in front of the desk "You okay there? You don't look so good," he looks concerned and his heart drops when he sees your lip start to quiver

• It takes you 0.27 seconds to break and you're frantically wiping your eyes as sobs wrack your body

• He's got his arms wrapped around you in seconds and you're leaning into his shoulder.

• He isn't sure exactly how long you're crying for but eventually you calm down enough to get out a coherent sentence

• "My-My dad was arrested Friday night. He won't tell me why- he won't let anyone else tell me why and I don't know what else to do," you cry, "I miss him so much and its only been a few days- I don't- I don't have anyone else, Mr. Hazashi,"

• And you're crying again.

• He has you take the rest of the day off, in fact he takes the day with you

• He calls in a sub (you don't know what strings he had to pull for that but you don't ask, at this point you don't care) and you two dip

• He takes you to get food, real food, that'll make you feel better

• He knows that'll help a little

• and after that he takes you to get something sweet- that tends to help mood and blood pressure and anxiety

• So he does his best with you

• He nutures you the best way he knows how

• if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING this man has you covered

• He does his best to step up in any way he can

• first off he extends his assignment deadlines and cancels two tests. Who needs them anyway.

• And you eat lunch in his classroom because he can well tell you don't want to talk to anyone else right now

• He closes it off (seemingly) so in reality its just you and him

• He'll probably tell Aizawa too but on the downlow (just so he knows)

• When holidays roll around, the dorms close.

• In this case- he let's you stay with him. He has an extra bedroom. He doesn't want you to stay in an empty house.

• You also get his phone number (which you gladly use) for anything really

• Bored? He'll deliver some shitty puns.

• Confused about homework? Text him.

• having a mental breakdown? He's got you covered.

• You got memes? Please for the love of God send them to him.

• The dynamic eventually shifts to a VERY father daughter relationship.

• He knows he'll never replace your dad. He understands that wholeheartedly, but he wants you to have someone

• He actually gets a letter from your dad, thanking him for taking care of you

• but he really doesn't mind

Aizawa:

• He had a feeling that there was something going on at home. Or rather, a lack of something.

• He's dealt with it in the oast- with himself and with past students and current ones

• Shinsou

• I mean, aside from that fact whenever parents were mentioned, you'd either stiffen up or wrinkle your nose

• You didn't really like the subject of parents

• There was an essay prompt about parents (nothing too personal) nd you ended up writing it on the extinction of dinosaurs and why God fucked up instead

"It'd be absolutely stellar to see huge lizards roaming the earth and occasionally stepping on people, you know? Jurassic park was onto something."

• Man's couldn't even fail you on it because it was written v well

• Anyway, he doesn't pry too much. He just silently figures it out by process if elimination and pattern.

• He doesn't really care too much

• In the sense if it doesn't define you and he doesn't help you because he pities you

• he helps you because he seems potential

• He takes you under his wing with shinsou

• Yall spend a whole summer training

• And that's when it all came out

• It was an accident really.

• Shinsou was tired, exhausted really

• and when people get tired- that tired- sometimes they spout random shot they wouldn't usually say

• and thats what he did

• he went on about his home life

• and if he could, you could too right?? You could trust them.

• "My dad walked out when I was a kid. Little, like 3. I have a few pictures of him holding me, but I guess it wasn't enough. I don't have any desire to meet him. Not anymore. But it left me feeling like I did something wrong? I guess? Which I suppose is why I train. Because then I feel strong. Which is a good difference from how it usually feels."

• He knew it.

• He called it.

• He was right again.

• He reassures you that you are good enough, strong enough, and his decision to leave had nothing to do with you

• and when he saw you give him a soft smile, he warmed.

• I mean really, it only goes up from there

• he'll deny it, or grumble under his breath, but he seems you two as his own

• Like these aren't my kids but they are my kids

• When dorms close on holiday yall get to stay because that's where he lives too

• Like if you chose too

• he's not gonna force you to stay but if you don't want to go home, you don't have too

• He has that power

• He will buy you food

• all you gotta do is ask

• and he'll roll his eyes and grumble something he doesn't really mean, just secretly happy that you feel comfortable enough around him to ask for something

• lmao family group chat

S: 'Hey Mr. Aizawa I found this cat. Hold on lemme send a pic'

A: 'Dont need a pic. Bring him home'

Y: 'What if he's ugly??'

A: 'gremlin. Bring him home.'

Or

Y: 'Hey I saw this tweet that said 'kids be like watch this and do a half roundhouse spin kick clap and waste my fucking time' and it make me think of you.'

S: @ mr. Aizawa when he has to watch deku do sumn

Y: Lmaoooo like when he threw the baseball

S: LMAOO

A: Me watching you too try to figure out how to beat me in training

Y: Yikes bro

S: That was a rough one

• Does he regret giving you and shinsou his number??

• Maybe

• Not really

• Lmao super secret lunch movie days

• Every week on wendesday yall watch a movie. Usually it takes 2 or 3 days to watch the movie since lunch is only 70 minutes

• @ you accidently calling him dad one day and shinsou snickering but it stuck

• dadzawa lmaoo

Allmight:

• Man's has 2 underlings.

• You and Deku.

• Picked you up when he started teaching at UA

• Ion know let's say one day you popped off bc he said some dumb shit and you were like no sir that's clearly wrong

• schooled him in his own damn subject

• the other kids were like 😳

• what the fuck

• Anyway

• He see's you have potential

• And though he's not the best teacher, you seem to respond better to the way HE was taught

• So tbh its easier to teach you

• 'okay, now I want you to beat the shot out if that wall,'

'Okay lmao bet'

• Midoriya is like, hey mayhaps we should analyze the situation

• N ur like noe

• You just don't give a fuck

• about anything really

• other than moving up the ranks

• But even then- its not a super super big deal, you're just gonna do your best but you aren't gonna stress

• However he noticed a pattern w you (even before Midoryia brought it up to him)

• You don't let anyone in

• Midoryia knows a bit more than the other students but that's really only because he's always with you

• a good majority of the week he's w you

• but its not really a deep connection

• you don't rely on either of them

• You do your best to do things on your own.

• He knows midoryias life story

• he knows why he acts the way he does

• but he doesn't know why you do

• he has a gut feeling it could be the same as midoryia

• I mean he already had one kid who's dad dipped

• he'll surely be able to figure out you too??

• So he makes himself a promise that he'll figure it out and he'll become someone you trust

• And he does just that

• When you tell him about your nightmare of a family history he's like mm, makes sense

• but he's happy that you trust him!!!

• He's a BIG suckered for movie nights

• he's got popcorn, snacks, candy, chocolate, soda- he's prepared

• list of movies lined out all ready

• I lowkey feel like he'd be into lord of the rings or fast n furious

• fast n furious at LEAST

• He's really into American action movies

• and he has no problem sharing those movies with you

• he doesn't have a whole ton of money, like he's not rich, but if you or midoryia need something he's definitely there to get it for you

• even if ur like fam no you don't need too

• he'll buy yell food a lot

• a l o t

• and cards

• when you and midoryia get him a father's day card he thinks he's gonna cry

• You guys also have a group chat

• 'da faemilee'

• Y: "Hey dad do you have milk?"

A: "???? Do I have milk????"

Y: "ya I'm looking in your fridge n ion see any???"

A: "How'd you even get in????"

Y: "Izuku."

I: "lmaoo"

Or

Y: Izuku you dumb bitch I left for ONE day

Y: And you got into a fight with Bakugou

I: He wanted to throw hands. I just did what you would do.

A: He's got you there

Or

A: What do you guys want for dinner

I: Sushi

Y: Chicfila

Y: Izu square up

I: K

Or

Y: Izu is fighting kacchow again

A: Beat his ass young midoriya

Y: Lmaoooooo