#I LOVE how it fucked up kermit

[bugfail]

I should post picmixes on here heres one from the other day :)

[bunnyb34r]

I know I should just block (and not OPEN) tags and posts ab '24 but my brain is stupid and likes to be informed even if it makes me worse

[hellafluff]

yknow how at a Johnny Rockets when you order a milkshake they give you your glass + the cup they mixed it in with the leftover milkshake that wouldn't fit in the glass? yeah thats what happens everytime i make an eggsalad sandwich

[clownpassing]

feel like i'm forever doomed to just be a really good friend instead of anything more

[gay-dorito-dust]

Based off of something I saw on TikTok recently

Hotd characters that I think would be absolutely ecstatic in calling you his spouse(not in any particular order) :

Benjicot Blackwood:

This man is going to think it’s all a dream that you married him but once he finds comfort that it’s not and that you are in fact married, he’ll smile the biggest smile and just acts proud that you chose him out of every possible suitor.

He ain’t looking at anyone else when he’s got you babe, Willem Blackwood and Alysanne brought him up better than that and he knew better himself then to do such a thing.

He’s a simp for you and everyone in the Riverlands knows this, Oscar and Kermit tease him relentlessly for this but Benjicot doesn’t fucking care, he’ll happily let his mind wander to you and talk about you at any given moment if he were to see anything that made him think about you to anyone who could hear him.

Jacaerys Velaryon;

Devote husband who’ll gladly wait on you hand and foot without question.

He loved calling you his spouse, it fills him with joy and happiness in letting everyone know that you are bound to one another for eternity.

Anyone insults you? He’s quick to say ‘have care for what you say in front of my spouse.’ With his hands resting on the pommel of his sword, a silent threat that spoke a million words. He will not allow anyone to mess with you in any regard, as an insult on you might as well be an insult on him too and Jace won’t have that. You deserve respect and by the gods he’ll give you it tenfold.

Aeron Bracken;

He’s gonna be all chivalrous about it and such but you know he’s going to rub in the fact that he got you before a Blackwood could.

He loves that he had something over them now and it was the fact that you married him and he’s on cloud nine the entire time, he belonged to you and he’ll kneel before you often just so he could look up at you with those pretty eyes of his.

He may look like an angel in human form but you were akin to a deity he’d gladly lay his life down for if it meant getting to be the one laying in your arms each and every night. His sword was yours and he’ll cut down anyone you held a dislike towards for a while, just say the word and Aeron will seek them out for you, his beloved spouse.

Gwayne Hightower

Can and will use any opportunity to call you his spouse at any given moment of any day to the point it’s borderline annoying. Not for you and him though, for everyone else that is.

Gwayne will call you his spouse for all of those in court to hear and he’ll be smug about it too because why the fuck would he not! He’s married to the most wonderful person in all the realms; you! You can’t fault him for wanting to remind everyone that he was well and truly taken and happily so.

He says it in front of Criston Cole the most for the reactions that he gets, Criston wore his emotions clear as day on his face that it was obvious to know how he was feeling, so Gwayne abuses this fact to the high heavens.

He loves showing you off because he knows he had gotten extremely lucky in life when you came along.

[the-muppet-joker]

would love to hear more from you about your kins. does the felt grab at you? does it pull you up from your bloodied knees, away from those cruelly shining pews? no laughing in church, no playing. do you paint your smile in communion wine, kermit? does it frighten you how utterly alone you are at the pulpit? i look at you and i find you lacking. your sermons are empty as you are without a hand to control you. you are no adam. you are no man- the question answered, then. muppet. paper-thin boy torn from a comic strip. do you choose to identify with it, then, kermit? your otherness, your yawning pit of a soul, torn out with your rib, or never there. i see no god here. i don’t see anything at all.

This was needlessly cruel. I have never claimed to be a God. I have only ever claimed to be Adam, and that is my kin identity do if you do not respect that then you are a bigot...

Furthermore *frog lips pulled back to reveal rows of snarling teeth* How dare you use my fucking religous trauma against me. Being raised Catholic is worse than being born without arms or legs or the ability to move. *crouches down into a fighting position* You want to insult my character? Do it with your fists, Coward. If you do not punch me in my face in real life in the next 24 hours with enough force to make me cry, I will assume you are a sniveling little brat who only pisses his pants to warm his legs and not for completely valid pisskink reasons.

[winter-soldier-101]

Why me! 2

Word count: 1317

AemondxReader

Aemond has been watching you from afar since the day he told you he would kill you and your babe so you’ve stayed away from him since then.

“Are you going to talk to him?” Rhaenyra asks you.

“How can I talk to him when he told me he would kill me and our babe if the babe didn’t look like him all because he thinks your son Jacerys is the father so you tell me how could I ever look at him the same.” (Y/N) tells Rhaenyra.

“(Y/N) I know what he said to you but he does love you” Rhaenyra tells you.

“He told me that I let your bastard son touch me and of my babe looks like your bastard son he will kill us both that’s truly what he said to me so don’t fucking tell me that he loves me because he doesn’t love or care about me anymore” (Y/N) tells Rhaenyra and walks away from her and everyone else.

“(Y/N)” A voice calls out the voice of the one man she truly trusts.

“Elmo, is that really you?” (Y/N) asks as she holds him tight in a hug.

“How I’ve missed you so I miss seeing you run around Riverrun with Kermit” Elmo tells you as he lets you go.

Elmo Tully is like a second father to (Y/N) when her father died fighting in the StepStones with Prince Daemon, (Y/N) was thankful to Prince Daemon he had brought her fathers body back and paid mother some coin to help with everything.

“I want to go home Elmo” (Y/N) whispers out as she cries in his arms.

“I wish I could take you back home (Y/N) but I don’t want your mother and brothers to be in any danger” Elmo tells you.

“I do not want my child to know his or her father hates them so please if I die on my birthing bed take my child and never let Aemond near him or her” (Y/N) tells Elmo.

“I will do everything I can for you and your baby (Y/N)” Elmo tells you.

Aemond stood behind the wall of the secret passageway as he listened to your conversation.

“When Aemond told me he would kill me and the babe I thought about jumping from Maegor’s tower so we wouldn’t feel unwanted and unloved.” (Y/N) says as tears fall down her face.

Aemond listens to your cries and feels his heart break as you say you wanted to end your life because of what he said.

“(Y/N) it’s okay you can write to me and your mother any time and if you need me I will come.” Elmo tells you.

“I just want to tell the King that Jacerys is the father of my baby and let me and Aemond go away from each other.” (Y/N) tells Elmo.

“(Y/N) no you can not do that the King will punish you if he feels like you abandoned your vowels to Aemond” Elmo tells you.

“I know I just don’t know what to do.” (Y/N) tells him.

Three days later

“I have decided that my daughter and heir Rhaenyra Targaryen will be crowned Queen in a fortnight the ravens have been sent and all Lords and Lady’s shall be in attendance to celebrate their new Queen” Viserys announces to the masses and to his council members some shocked at the news.

“Your Grace, are you sure you don’t want to name your first son Aegon King?” Otto asks Viserys.

“Otto enough of this my daughter will be Queen and that’s final!” Viserys yells out making sure everyone understands.

5 months later

(Y/N) lay in her birthing bed as Maester Mellos tells the midwives to get some water and cloth as you begin to push.

“Princess get ready to push” Maester Mellos tells you as you let out a scream and push.

“One more push Princess” Maester Mellos tells you as you push one more time and stop when you hear a loud cry.

“A boy Princess” Mellos tells you as he shows you your son and gives him to the midwife to clean him up.

“Princess I need you to push one more time” Maester Mellos tells you as you push once again and hear another cry.

“Another boy Princess” Mellos tells you.

“Twins oh my Layla will you get Queen Rhaenyra.” (Y/N) asks her handmaiden.

“Twin boys Aemond” Alicent tells Aemond.

“Yes mother I’ve heard I’ll visit when I’m done training” Aemond tells Alicent as he leaves her alone standing there.

“Should I call you Queen Rhaenyra now” (Y/N) asks Rhaenyra.

“No you don’t have to call me Queen Rhaenyra (Y/N) your my good sister and oh your boys are beautiful (Y/N)” Rhaenyra tells you.

(Y/N) looks at her sons and sees both have white hair and not a single brown hair in sight (Y/N) lets out a little laugh.

“I don’t want him anywhere near my sons” (Y/N) tells everyone in the room as Alicent walks in.

“My dear girl, how are you feeling?” Alicent asks you.

“I’m fine Alicent where is my husband at?” (Y/N) asks Alicent.

“He went to the training yard for a-“ Alicent starts to tell you.

“Yes of course he did let him know he is not allowed in my room and he will not be allowed to see my sons” (Y/N) tells Alicent.

Three days later

(Y/N) holds little Aragon as Aeneys lays still in his bed but a soft knock wakes him (Y/N) puts Aragon down and picks up Aeneys and opens to see Aemond along with Jacerys.

“What are you doing here Aemond?” (Y/N) asks him angrily as Layla waits for you outside.

“Layla come in and take the boys please?” (Y/N) asks Layla.

“I’ve come here to apologize to you and Jacerys and see my sons.” Aemond tells you.

“No they are my sons not yours!” (Y/N) yells at Aemond and tries to close the door on him.

“(Y/N) stop I’m sorry I’m trying to make everything right and make it up to you.” Aemond tells you.

“No you don’t deserve to meet my sons” (Y/N) tells him.

“(Y/N) I’m going to see them so please move?” Aemond asks you.

“No, they are my sons, remember their bastards to you so leave me and my sons alone Aemond.” (Y/N) tells Aemond.

“(Y/N) let me see them now” Aemond says as he pushes the door open and makes way over to the boys.

“No stay away from my sons” (Y/N) says as she pushes Aemond away from the twins.

“(Y/N) enough!” Aemond yells as he pushes you to the floor.

“You will never put your hands on me again. If you do it will be the last time you have hands. Do you understand me?” (Y/N) tells Aemond as she gets up off the floor.

Aemond looks at you shocked as he holds his left cheek.

“You can see Aragon and Aeneys when I feel like you are ready to be their father” (Y/N) tells Aemond.

“You named them with me?” Aemond asks you.

“Yes I named my sons because their father wasn’t there for them when they were born” (Y/N) tells Aemond.

“(Y/N) I’m sorry that I hurt you and I’m sorry about what I said about you and the boys and Jacerys. I'm sorry for what I said about you and my wife and sons” Aemond says to you and Jacerys.

“I appreciate your apology, Aemond but I have not forgiven you yet.” (Y/N) says to Aemond.

“Thank you for apologizing uncle and I’m sorry about all the pain me and Lucerys caused you.” Jacerys apologizes to Aemond.

Taglist: @dc-marvel-girl96 @immyowndefender @izfrogzyy1 @lexi-anastasia-astra-luna @hc-geralt-23

[simpforsix]

criminal minds as quotes from my work part 3

you’ll never stop me from making these >:)

-

Penelope: I’m just gonna follow you around so it looks like I’m working.

Hotch: Cool, we’re gonna go hide in dry storage.

-

Emily: I love that we’ve upgraded from smoking on a bucket to smoking on a chair!

-

Derek: *does a Kermit impression*

Elle: If you don’t stop talking like Kermit I am going to kermit arson.

-

Spencer: I’ve been telling everyone it’s my first day so that they don’t get mad at me for my mistakes. I’ve worked here for four years.

-

Emily: *drinks ranch like a shot and then walks away like nothing happened*

Derek: What the fuck?

-

Penelope: Hey Hotch, wake up.

Hotch: What?

Penelope: Someone got murdered at work. Should I still come in?

Hotch: WHAT??

-

Emily: I didn’t know you smoked?

JJ: I work here. Of course I do.

-

Derek: See that dark hole? Just climb the ladder and get in. I promise there’s no ghosts up there!

Spencer: Uh...

Derek: *laughs menacingly*

-

JJ: Why are you guys being so loud-

Penelope, halfway in the dishwasher with her arm in the drain: I need to find my straw!

-

Hotch and Gideon during an extremely stressful shift: YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEEEEEEN YOUNG AND SWEEEEEEET ONLY SEVENTEEEEEEEN BA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA

Elle: I’m just not gonna bother them.

-

Hotch: Why are you standing around? Find something to do!

Spencer: I’ve wiped the walls and doors, dusted the picture frames and shelves, cleaned all the windows, stocked everything, wiped all the tables and the dividers, refilled all the chemicals, and swept the floor. I finished the entire weekly cleaning checklist in one hour. 

Spencer: I also scraped all the gum off the tables. To make it more fun I kept track of the scores. 96 had the most per area, 85 had the newest, 71 had a gross sticker that stuck my glove together, and all the gum was either white, blue, or green with white having the most by far.

Hotch:

Hotch: Just go home.

-

JJ: Life hack! Whenever I get stressed I just stand in this dark closet and pretend to get coffee.

-

Gideon: How did you fix the computer screen? That was amazing!

Penelope: I pressed the home button, but sure. 

-

Emily: Why haven’t we been sent home? It’s obvious that there’s nothing to do.

Hotch: What do you mean?

Emily, turning and pointing at the bullpen: Look.

*Spencer standing on a counter wiping the walls*

Hotch: Ah.

-

JJ: I need a lighter for the birthday cake candles but I can’t find one!

Derek: Hang on. I know exactly where to find one.

Derek: HEY BAU TEAM! I NEED A LIGHTER!

The team:

Derek: Oh come on, none of you have one? Wait, Emily!

Emily, walking in to the bullpen: Yeah?

Derek: Do you have a lighter?

Emily: *hands him a lighter*

Derek: HAHA! I KNEW ONE OF YOU SMOKED! HEY JJ, I’VE GOT A LIGHTER!

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

(I actually think TTPD is full of so many parallels to older work that I could like, quote the entire album.)

Do it (inserts image of Kermit the frog wearing a black cloak)

Jokes aside, I’d love to read what parallels you found with her older work

OK well now that you’ve put me on the spot, I can’t actually think of them that freely 😂

This isn’t going to be exhaustive, nor particularly accurate I guess, but maybe more like… similarities? (Man, I’m gonna fumble the ball here.)

This is kind of out of left field, but from the very first listen, for instance, But Daddy I Love Him reminded me of Love Story. I joked on release night that But Daddy was just the unfiltered version of Love Story; the girl is the Scarlet Letter because she’s the loud, mouthy heathen who’s been caught with her dress unbuttoned iykwim. The girl in LS feels misunderstood, is infatuated with this boy, begs to run away with him away from the prying eyes and judgment… Which is exactly what the narrator in BDILH feels too, except more explicitly. The girl in LS is demure and mindful, the one in BDILH gives zero fucks. Which is reflective of Taylor’s own evolution in her relationship to her public image, I feel: she strove to be a perfect role model never putting a foot wrong in her younger days, but the whole point of TTPD is that she is done listening to anyone else’s opinions on how she lives her life. In LS, the boy talks to her dad and pulls out a ring, and in BDILH, no one else is invited to that wedding after everything she’s learned. For all we’ve talked about how one of the major themes of TTPD is about reclaiming her youth, I think it’s kind of genius that BDILH, intentionally or not, plays on the song that launched her megastardom as a teenager and gives it a grown-up bite.

This is maybe less parallels and more just a continuation of a story, but I think one of the obvious ones is You’re Losing Me and So Long, London. One of the immediate callbacks is the thread from “I can’t find a pulse, my heart won’t start anymore” to “I stopped CPR, after all it’s no use.” YLM comes at a crisis point, the make or break moment of the relationship, and SLL is the aftermath reflecting on that. Her stopping the CPR after that moment in YLM is what leads to the dissolution of the relationship and the reflection in SLL.

The rest of the two songs mirror each other so painfully well. “Do I throw out everything we built or keep it?” To “You say I abandoned the ship, but I was going down with it.” “How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dying?” To “You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?” “I know my pain is such an imposition” to “Just how low did you think I'd go before I'd self-implode?” “How long could we be a sad song 'til we were too far gone to bring back to life?” To “So how much sad did you think I had, did you think I had in me? How much tragedy?” “I wouldn’t marry me either” to “I died on the altar waiting for the proof.”

And I think the one that really brings it full circle is the evolution from “My face was gray, but you wouldn't admit that we were sick,” to “And I'm just getting color back into my face, I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place.” In YLM she’s dying a slow death at her partner’s ignorance (unintentional or willful) of the crisis she’s in, and in SLL, the decision to leave has brought her back to life, even if she mourns everything she had to give up to get there. To go from sitting in the room that was once lit with what they loved to sitting in the dark mulling this life-changing decision, to reflecting on the moment of “warm sun” in her life that this relationship will ultimately end up being in her memories (but just that: a memory, not a life) is really nuanced, and really shows how it’s the end of a chapter but not the end of the book.

Another parallel that is so powerful is between The Manuscript and, among others, All Too Well, but really so much of her work from her younger days, as well as the ATW music video. This is maybe cheating because it’s not like a 1:1 parallel, but just the way that The Manuscript reframes so much of her older work and experiences is illuminating. The way in ATW the early memories are wistful, feel like home, etc., and you can feel the warmth radiate through the music and the lyrics, but the slightly unsettling melody of The Manuscript highlights the unease in which that situation actually occurred. To go from sweet disposition and wide-eyed gazes heading out of town to be together, to realizing a decade later that that might have been less romance and more manipulation? What a gut punch.

Similarly, when you think about “nights when you made me your own” in the context of “He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was, soon they'd be pushin' strollers,” you really feel how her youthful naivety about their relationship was heavily influenced by the way this person laid it on thick. Like, all these years later, she wasn’t wrong to feel like this thing was serious, or for being so bewildered when it ended. It’s just that what she failed to realize at the time is that what she took as a promise, he intended as foreplay. Then the way the bridge of The Manuscript reveals what is presumably the shooting of the ATW video, where she comes to the realization of just what she went through and how she’s been able to use it to make her art and heal? That’s beautiful.

There are soooooooooo many more, but I’d be here all day, and similarly, I can’t think of any off the top of my head.

[very-straight-blog]

As a mostly TB fan, I hate how bidimensional they made all the characters. They glossed over so many things: Aegon and Helaena's grief for Jaehaerys' death, Aemond's trauma and guilt, Jacaerys and Rhaena's grief for Lucerys — the characters seemed to have blatantly ignored Rhaenys' death, literally no one other than Corlys cried for her!

Now this could have (barely) been excused in exchange for epic battles and dragonfighting scenes, but there's next to nothing! We have politicking, unnecessary sex scenes, Aemond acting (rather uncharacteristically) sadist, and the battles that were supposed to be the core of the show (the show literally talks about a WAR) lasted like fifteen minutes each and then no one mentioned them anymore. They cut out characters that had great or some level of relevance in the book (Maelor or Kermit Tully for example, and at this rate we probably won't have Black Aly or Benjicot either) and changed up the storyline on a whim.

The things that angered me the most, however, is the unnecessary age gaps they put in just for "medieval accuracy": Viserys could have easily been younger than they made him the show — he could have been in his early or mid thirties, there was no need to make him 50-60 years old (though I love Paddy Cosidine, he's a great actor and a sweetheart). Same thing for Laena: she was supposed to be older than Laenor, why the fuck did they make her FOURTEEN when she married Daemon?

Yes, thank you! I've been saying for a long time that even though I write mostly about Aegon and Aemond, the writers destroyed all the characters on both sides and I can't deny it. The whole show is now a huge piece of nonsense that cannot be discussed or analyzed. We have reached the point where the actions of the characters inside the story don't have any logic, so they cannot be taken seriously.

[thirteenashmctrash]

okay so i have gained a new species of spore for my collective brainrot and i have found the perfect selling pitch to drag everyone i care about down with me. if you know the show this is hilarious. if you haven't watched it pay attention:

the show's called leverage. you know how there's those crime serials that aren't good at all but we've all watched a little too much of at least one of them even though they are blatant copaganda which is morally terrible? take your favorite one of those, but remover the copaganda. all the characters are criminals but their only victim is capitalism. every cop in the show is stupid at best and blatantly corrupt to a disgusting level most of the time. there is just as much genuine and intelligent social commentary as this premise demands.

i sense i already have you hooked. i can make this better. stick with me for a minute on this: the character dynamic is a muppet movie but also the Scooby gang

stick with me here!

You have Parker, who fit into the Scooby gang as Scooby and would be played by Gonzo. her crime thing is that she is a cat burglar and she is very good at it. her skill with it is borderline slapstick (hence Scooby) and she is very autistic coded and misunderstood (hence Gonzo)

You've got Eliot, who is the Shaggy and is played by Sam Eagle. He is the brute force of the team and he wants you to think he is all serious and grimdark. but he loves making the employees and victims of their capitalist targets aware of unions and he is a big himbo. i say he is shaggy because he plays Parker's straight man, he has the second most cartoonlike abilities, and he has a passion for cooking

Hardison is Velma as played by Kermit. he is a geeky hacker with a passion for orange soda and he is the heart of the team. he gets overlooked as leader even though he is the driving force of everything they do. like Velma. he also has that trademark Kermit brand of slapstick and deadpanned humor in balance.

Sophie is Daphne as played by miss piggy. she is basically the world's best grifter, she usually the front man interacting with the target the most. she has that crazy streak and the self defense capacity that miss piggy and Daphne (when she's done right) both have. she also has the confidence and style.

Nate is Fred and he is the human character. Fred has "let's split up gang" and Nate has "then we have to steal *fill in the blank with something comedically unfit to finish the sentence*" Fred and Nate are both flat characters with the main trait "i think I'm the leader but my smart friend does all the work" and the main interest of "trapping and screwing over capitalists" he mainly gets to call himself the leader because he's the idea guy and he has an apartment. his role in the muppet analogy is the peak of my pitch if you're still here. because while this is definitely not the Christmas Carol, Nate is the human character because he is Ebenezer Scrooge if instead of being a capitalist, Scrooge was an alcoholic and instead of character growth he was just steadily losing his mind. his moral compass and general intelligence are on a roulette wheel that is spun at random intervals lasting from seconds to the occasional few hours. also he and Sophie have divorced parents of grown children syndrome and the other three are said children. in vibes, of course, they aren't actually related.

if anyone stayed with me through all of that you should seriously watch it. even if i sound like i pulled this all out of my ass. it's so good.

it's an actively anticapitalist, copaganda free crime show where you get to see fun characters beat up every thing bad in society and fuck it all over. it balances fun comedy and wild characters with serious topics and moments in a way that is very natural and genuine. it also has one of my favorite autistic coded characters, a positive and healthy relationship that develops in a way that feels natural to the characters (as well as a rockier one if you're into drama) and it is in the midst of what looks to be an actually well handled revival series with the original cast. i haven't caught up yet but I'm so excited for it. the original had 5 seasons and the revival is waiting to be renewed for season 3.

please go watch leverage. it's so good and it deserves more fans. also i want more fic and that next season

[lulu-tutu]

Oopsie 💕 Kai (Ninjago)

A/N: first actual post in a while and it’s something I made like,, a year or so ago lol Ninjago has infected my brain again so expect more of these for the next few months, and yes, I’ve seen all the requests in my inbox and I promise you all, I will get to them! It just takes time to get motivated but I swear I’ll get them all out eventually. For now, enjoy this little read (and if you have more Ninjago requests - please send them I beg 🙏)

Desperate need for Ninjago mutuals 😭 Dragons Rising has me hooked all over again.

Pairing(s): Kai x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): mild language, fluff overdose, pretty tame and somewhat short and sweet.

Word Count: 868

🔥🔥🔥 🐉🐉🐉🔥🔥🔥🐉🐉🐉

"Are you absolutely sure it's on?"

It was a sunny Sunday, and thankfully the theives in Ninjago City seem to be non-existent, giving the Ninja a day to finally kick back and relax with their loved ones.

A few moments ago, you had your little girl in your arms, swaying her side to side as you tickled her stomach. As her laughter slowed down, she started to gurgle and you were shocked at the fact that she was trying to speak.

Recently she had turned the age of two, which excited both her parents. Soon, she would be saying her first words, which she was close to.

You had the magnificent idea of making your daughters first words her favourite animal, frog. Wanting that moment to be special and remembered, you got your husband, Kai to film the event.

"Yes, (Y/n)! It's rolling! See! The red light is on!" Kai leans away from the camera slightly to point at the glowing red light.

"Okay, good. We don't want to miss a single detail." Biting your lip in excitement, you motioned to the lounge area. "She's playing right now, come on."

As you lead Kai to the lounge, you could finally see your daughter on camera. In one hand was a pink tea cup and in the other was a Kermit toy.

"Amaya, darling." You coo and kneel down in front of the young girl. Amaya glances up from her tea party, her eyes widening now that you were here in front of her.

Amaya was a gorgous girl and Kai always said that she was going to break every guys heart when she grows up. While that was his opinion, he was most likely right, if she was anything like her father. She had her fathers hair, attitude and his freckles from when he was a child. You hoped that the freckles would be permanent, unlike how Kai only had his as a kid.

She also had your eyes, nose and curiosity. She was almost always up to mischief, which sometimes gave you and Kai heart attacks.

"Sweetheart," You start and grab her chubby hands as she reaches out for you, "Mama heard that you could almost talk!"

Amaya lets out a giggle and nods her head, most likely not even knowing exactly what you said.

"Can you try again? How about you try saying 'frog'. Can you say that?" You made sure to say each word slowly, wanting Amaya to understand what you needed her to say.

"F-F..." The small girls fumbles with the first letter, her eyes downcast as she concentrates.

While you stared at your girl in adoration, Kai made sure to zoom in to your loving gaze then over to Amaya, watching as she touched her own lips. He had to choke down a chuckle.

"That's it! F-r-o-g." You tried to help her by saying each letter slowly and a bit slurred. Amaya stared at you for a moment, her eyes trained on your lips as you say each letter.

You watch as she gasps, almost like she had had the greatest idea in the entire world. She bounced on her feet a little, her eyes wide as she opened her mouth, "F-fuck!"

"Maya!" You shriek as a hand comes up to clasp your agape mouth, your face having shock and horror all over it.

While you stared mortified at your daughter, Kai was laughing himself dead on the other side of the camera, a free hand on his stomach as he laughs.

"W-Who taught you that!?" You look down to your daughter who was laughing as well at her father.

While little giggles leave her lips, she points a finger to her father. "Fuck!" She laughs out and ends up falling down on her rear end.

With wide eyes and a scowl, your head turns slowly towards your husband, "Kai Smith! Look at what you did to our daughter! Her first words! This is-"

"Hilarious!" Kai snorts out and with shaky hands, he zooms the camera in to capture the look of horror and pure rage on your face.

"You're so dead!" You yell out before standing up from your crouching posistion and sprinting at the laughing man.

Kai immediately halts his laughing, "Oh crap." He curses before sprinting off and away from the hands of his blood thirsty wife, the camera recording every bit of the situation.

While the two lovebirds fought in the kitchen, Amaya went back to playing with her frog. She picked him up and hugged him close to her chest, "Kermy." She mumbles with a giggle.

[nogenderonlyrat]

So I'm re-listening to Prime Defenders, and here are some things I decided to take note of :D

Spoilers ahead for Prime Defenders obviously

-Holy shit Dakota's voice evolves so much through the series it sounds so weird now

-Condi said that Vyncent had black hair, wtf happened to make it purple??

-Rahhh Jimmy "Looks Like A Stop-Sign" Jackson let's goooo

-William believing Vyncent about his home world at least somewhat (saying he "saw God") BECAUSE HE DIEDDD HE KNOWS ABOUT DIFFERENT WORLDS BECAUSE OF THE SPIRIT REALM

-"One time I had a dream where I thought I saw God but honestly I just woke up on an operating table and it was just a doctor" (Dakota was really giving the lore out in the very first episode damn)

-Beats by Ms. G is crazy (lo-fi beats to tactile learn to)

-Ne-Yo high schooler is crazyyy

-I kinda forgot William didn't always need to roll to use his ghost power thingies

-LE FROG'S FIRST APPEARANCE FUCK YESSS

-My bad bro it's Ze Frog right now 😒

-+11 to initiative is crazy

-"What are you gonna do with their feet, Charlie?" -Bizl

-Oh em gee Le Frog's first bank robbery

-Teehee Strider pre-name

-YOOOO he called it a back-handspring instead of just a "cartwheel" or "somersault" yippeeeee (I can do that 🔥)

-"Le Frog's lights go le out"

-"Chill bomb grooves to defuse bombs to" I need a Beats by Ms. G playlist in my life guys

-Forgot there was a time where the professional heroes answered when they called

-No way there's wires is that Among Us

-I get chills now when I hear the name "Whisperer" it's crazy

-"I've never heard of this Kermit, is he a criminal?" I love Vyncent

-YO TIDEEEEEEE FUCK YEAH

-Their warehouse base thingy looks abandoned that's gotta be kinda sketch to outsiders

-Just the first episode reminds me of how good of a campaign this is and it terrifies me for my upcoming campaign I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE AHHHDUEIEF

You can probably expect more of this for future episodes yayyy

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

SUDSPOTS RECOMMENDS DREAM-CENTRIC FICS: PART ONE MAYBE

Sorted by shipping because I'm a multishipper.

Its about the PASSION its about the INTRICACIES its about the EMOTIONAL DEVASTATION.

If a fic you like isn't on here I demand you make your own recommendations post so I can reblog it and then we ALL must go insane. You Understand? You understand. Lets fucking go, lets LOVE THE PEOPLE IN THIS COMMUNITY RIGHT NOW AND TELL THEM WHAT GOOD FUCKING WRITERS THEY ARE

DESCEND INTO MADNESS. ITS FOR THE GREATER GOOD.

DRUNZ WORKS BELOW

-non-explicit fics section-

our eternal love by janies_not_here. (Rated T)

Punz and Dream being in love and their last few moments together before the destruction of the server.

Personal thoughts: I love them. I would die for them. I care them so much.

Suffering by Airrec (Raichett). (Rated T)

“I,” Punz repeats, “am doing this one. You did lung removal, I’ll do heart.” They look at Dream squarely, determined, though their eyes are tight around the edges. No one likes dying, but they both know how important it is to know.

Personal thoughts: how to murder me emotionally. Its about the Intricacies its about the Unethical Science Murder Experiments.

science for sweethearts by silversandstone. (Rated T)

“His name is Punz?” “Yeah.” “I know him!” Sapnap exclaims, and he sounds entirely too excited for Dream’s liking. “He’s on the basketball team with me. Tall, blonde hair, blue eyes? Looks a little bit like he got thrown in the laundry by accident?” “He’s pretty,” Dream agrees miserably.

Personal thoughts: I am always a slut for modern AUs. I am bapping them with my little paws. Please kiss.

with arms unfolding by silversandstone. (Rated T) (series)

but here i am with arms unfolding i guess it isn't quite the end old partner in crime i'm going to try to fall in love with you again

Personal thoughts: PUNZ FINDING OUT ABOUT THE TORTURE. YESGOODPERFECT. THEM CARING ABOUT EACH OTHER. AAAAA

c!drunz living happily ever after by theendpoem. (Rated T) (series)

c!drunz headcanon written into short stories that follow them running away from the smp together and living happily ever after in a cabin

Personal thoughts: exactly what it says on the tin. I am a feral cat biting it biting it biting it

deadlines and commitments by sunnyscribe. (Rated G)

Dream doesn't know what he's looking for, but he finds it in Punz.

Personal thoughts: please imagine that gif of kermit spinning in a water fountain. They're taking a little nap together. They are in love.

i hope i don’t murder me, i hope i don’t burden you by nightdaydream. (Rated T)

Dream is dangerous, an enigma of a man. “So, what do you say?” Roses bloom in Punz’s lungs. They take a breath, choke them down, and return the grin that they’re sure Dream wears beneath his mask. “I’m in.” aka. punz suffers through hanahaki. it gets a lot worse before it gets better.

Personal notes: FUCK OFFFFFFFFF<=== is personally very emotional. Don't perceive me.

by his side where he belongs by ammizukii. (Rated T)

c!Dream shyfully proposes to c!Punz.

Personal notes: oh.

Just A Dip by Icechild. (Rated G)

It was meant to be just be a bath. It was supposed to be refreshing, healing, calming. It wasn't supposed to be Punz watching Dream pant and groan in pain. It wasn't supposed to end up with them realizing a blade was poisoned after it was too late. OR Punz and Dream have a bath time after a fight with the SMP and take care of each other and things go a little south.

Personal notes: I am eating concrete. I am throwing things. ITS ABOUT THE TRUST AND LOVE AND FEAR AND

love, like death, hath all destroyed by dumbgirlfriend (thelightwoods). (Rated T)

Punz and Dream have a quiet last meal before the end of the world, and Punz wants him.

Personal notes: dies a death (x40) hahahaha I love them what the fuck...

Steam by Airrec (Raichett). (Rated T)

There’s something almost ritualistic in the way Punz lathers soap onto Dream’s skin, their touch gentle but firm as they thumb at his flesh, their clipped nails dragging a little across his too-thin skin, careful not to worry at scabs or sores, but touching them anyway, keeping them clean. --- Or: post-Pandora, Dream's physical state is a bit too fragile for him to be able to bathe alone. Enter, stage left, Punz.

Personal notes: you think I'm normal right now but I'm actually clawing at the bars of my cage. Let me out I won't bite.

red slush and citrus shampoo by shamefulfroggos. (Rated T)

“Okay.” The two sit in silence for a few more beats before Punz drops his hand down to twist the keys and coax the engine back to life. It rumbles, faintly, and Dream watches from the corner of his eye as Punz puts the car in reverse and brings his arm up, his hand gripping the shoulder of Dream’s seat. His head turns so he can look through the back window as he pulls the car out of the parking space he turned into mere minutes ago. Dream tries not to stare. He doesn’t try very hard. -------------- or Dream has been in love with Punz for too long, Sapnap and George are tired of his shit, and Punz is a cinnamon roll who is trying to convey his feelings but failing

Personal notes: hnnnnnnn I'm gonna be honest with you I reread these fics before I put them on this post and this is making me go insane. They're so fucking in love shut the fuck upp

Not to Me, Not If It’s You by ranababamboo. (Rated T)

“Stop fussing over me.” “I will when your fever breaks,” they replied. They gestured to the stew, untouched aside from the near-spill. “Should eat that before it goes cold.” Dream rolled his eyes at the nagging. “What, gonna sit here and watch me until I do?” Punz merely raised an eyebrow. “...you’re the worst.” ——— Stubborn refusal of injury won’t slide in this household.

Personal notes: I hate them (I love them so much I am actively dying)

even when it’s raining by navyhurricane. (Rated T)

“You want to dance—” “In the rain,” Punz finishes for him, almost in a rush as though the idea has him breathless already. “C’mon, you can’t say that you have never in your life thought of it before.” Dream shakes his head softly. “Can’t say it’s high on my bucket list.”

For ruined plans and an opportunity saved, Dream has never known a love as soft as this; he knows that while he needs Punz, the other wants him in all the same ways.

Personal notes: hey do you ever feel like the chemicals in your brain just fucking change and shit while you read something because its good.

i wish to reclaim the rising by Airrec (Raichett). (Rated T)

Dream is quite happy with his life, despite his lack of memories, the scars and frailties of his body, and the numerous questions both raise. Then Punz, one of the gods of this world, saves his life, and it becomes clear that there is more to this - to them - than what can be seen on the surface. --- Or: it's a whole new world, and everyone deserves a chance to move on and make the most of the future. Punz has been waiting for theirs for... a long time.

Personal notes: I really wish I could just post memes and images instead of typing because I don't know how to communicate to you the level of Feral I am rn.

i miss the way you made me feel by WinterEnchantress. (Rated G)

Technoblade broke them up because duty always comes first, and he knows that the pain will never lessen, but at least he had the certainty that Dream was also...suffering. Because he's a selfish and petty man, deep inside, and he doesn't want to be lonely in his pain. Up until Dream found someone else. Up until Dream starts to heal, and all Techno can do is watch from the sidelines as Punz carefully puts broken pieces back together. All he has left is regret. or sad techno and broken up dnb + punz/dream being sweet as techno pines and suffers (:

Personal notes: !!!!!!! well thats fucked up and sad. fuck yeah lets go !!!!!!!

starshine after the longest night by voidofthestars. (Rated T)

They say almost, because there's so much missing from him, from weight loss from starvation to blatant mutilation, ears slashed and even tagged. And gods knew what else lies beneath his torn and ragged clothes. The moment Dream collapses into their arms and they close around him he keens, low and hurt like a dying animal in a cage. It's all Punz can do to keep them both upright even as Dream shakes in his arms, damaged hands scrabbling across his back and shoulders like he was afraid Punz wasn't actually there. "Holy shit, starshine, I've got you, you can't drop on me yet we're not safe yet." "Punz! Punz you're actually here! Haha, oh my god, I can't believe it!" Dream's voice cracks from emotion and disuse. It's painful to listen to, in more ways than one.

Personal notes: Don't fucking look at me don't perceive me I don't want to talk about it.

last cup of coffee by Luciddreaming_ (LucidDreamLight). (Rated T)

Local barista crushing on the cute college boy.

Personal notes: I don't have braincells anymore. Only them.

or should i walk by again? by Anonymous. (Rated T)

After Sapnap accidentally triple-books himself, he leaves his friends Dream and Punz to entertain each other at a boardwalk. This quickly spirals into a bet: Can you fall in love in one day?

Personal notes: what if... they kissed<=== absolutely deranged

green strings of magic by nightdaydream. (Rated M)

“You just work with him for money,” Quackity states, looking at Punz, and they want to laugh at how wrong the statement is. At first, sure; Dream was their client, and they were a mercenary. But as time passed, and they got closer, they came to trust Dream. And eventually, the golden ring on their finger and the matching one on the chain around Dream’s neck, hidden below his hoodie, came into play. “So, if he’s dead, which everyone else here wants anyways, you have no reason to carry out what he wants.” aka. Dream gets killed. Punz brings him back, because they’re a good partner like that.

Personal notes: they're MARRIED they have RINGS what if I shed my skin and became a skeleton.

Keep it Together by orphan_account (Rated T)

/Don’t react. Don’t react. Stay calm. Stick to the plan./ They spent hours, standing on a grassy hill, staring at the prison. /Keep it together./

Personal notes: His One Attachment his Most Important Attachment Shut The FUck

sunlight through my window by oopsie_daisyy (Rated G)

Dream and Punz are comfortable enough together to just walk into each other’s room and be. But when Dream asks him an unfinished question, Punz can’t get the implications of it off of his mind.

Personal notes: biting my own arm. Themb!!!!!! Them,,,,,

Bunker Pasta by dyinginlava (probablyaceok). (Rated T)

When Punz meets Dream after he escapes from Pandora’s Vault he notices how bad Dream looks and makes a decision.

Personal notes: They love each other did you know that. did you know. they love each other so much

Ground Zero by Oceanbreeze7. (Unrated)

Canon Divergence- what if the entire confrontation went a little faster- and they all had time to leave before the nuke impacted?

Personal notes: its barely there, but Its There and its important To Me.

Even Now by TastesLikeBakingSoda (Rated G)

Punz tries to coax Dream to bed, post-prison.

Personal notes:..........

lets take a rest by TastesLikeBakingSoda (Rated G)

Dream comes home after fighting the slime clone army and Punz gives him tickles and kisses

Personal notes: I'm being persecuted, held at gunpoint even.

-EXPLICIT FICS-

forever and always by applpudding

Dream slips his hands from Punz’s grasp and slides one around the cradle the back of his head. “Punz. Look at me.” The softness of his voice coaxes Punz’s eyes open and oh. He’d forgotten how stunning Dream’s eyes are in the daylight, brilliant viridian irises shining bright and honest, settled between soft golden eyelashes. “I don’t know if I can say it back yet,” Dream says, and for a moment Punz feels his heart sink. “But,” Dream continues, “that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I do, I really do, I promise you that.” Punz leans forwards and knocks their foreheads together. “I’ll wait,” he whispers. “However long you need, I’ll wait."

Personal notes: they need to be happy its so fucking important to me

radio lust by navyhurricane

A messy turn of events leaves Dream without a car in the middle of a rainstorm. He knows Punz is made of nicotine and bad ideas, but Dream's curiosity over Punz’s passenger seat is addicting.

Personal notes: hi they are absolutely infatuated with each other. they told me so themselves.

losing the bet by Anonymous

“Oh, I see. You wanted to lose,” Punz said in a low voice, dropping in volume, and Dream’s breath hitched in his throat. “You made that bet assuming you’d lose, huh? You wanna be my bitch that badly?” “Fuck no,” Dream spat back even as his eyes locked onto Punz’s lips. They looked surprisingly soft, pink. Dream swallowed hard. “I’m just a man of my word. I promised you, you win, you use me as you want.” “Just seems like an odd thing to offer to someone you’re not attracted to at all.” Punz stepped closed again, practically chest to chest, and he grabbed Dream by the jaw. His grip was tight, practically bruising, and he pushed Dream’s head back against the lockers. “Deny it all you want, but I think you wanted to end up here. You liked the thought of mean ol’ Punz shoving you into the lockers, huh? You want me to fuck you right here?” Dream whined, unable to speak with the hand clamping his jaw shut, and Punz huffed a snort of amusement. “You’re cute when you’re pathetic, princess,” Punz purred.

Personal notes: shaking them. they are stupid and full of kink. I cherish them deeply.

Observant by Toasted_Poison

Dream and Punz are roommates and Dream is very observant of Punz's recent behavior.

Personal notes: the comment I left on this fic probably shows how insane I am more than any words I could type here.

if you’re the reason why it’s empty, spin the fucking bottle by oopsie_daisyy

"I was about to leave when you asked me to play spin the bottle, actually,” Dream explains with a knowing smile, one that Punz reciprocates easily. “But yeah, it’s fine. Just a regular boring party, nothing too special.” “I could make it special.” Dream rolls his eyes. “I know you can. Why else do you think I would stay at some shitty party?"

Personal notes: RAAAAA WHY ARE THEY SO DUMB I CANT FUCKING STAND THEM (is holding them so very closely)

Shatter you by Anonymous

The payment is given. The plan should start any minute now. Punz wouldn't say he'd changed his mind. He never truly agreed with this plan anyway. It's good that Dream is in a good spot for listening. Alternatively: Punz is an Ender Dragon hybrid who likes gold but likes his shiny employer better so he decides to keep him. Dream's a brat and needs to be taught his place.

Personal notes: go away leave me be. I have to be really abnormal about Ender Dragon Punz. (you hear the sound of someone eating paper)

A Goat & A Coyote by ConscientiousMonster, Melpomene_Muse_of_Tragedy

A coyote pack leader finds a goat spellcaster that's been tied up in ribbons and left for death by vultures. This is furry-flavoured Drunz porn.

Personal notes: I'm not a furry but five dollars is five dollars<===this is a reference. I'm actually probably a furry.

Without End by JanetBaby99

“We’re equals aren’t we? You and me no matter what,” Punz assures. “You don’t control me and I don’t control you.” Dream lets his words wash over him, taking them in and analyzing each one. … Even after all of this, seeing how weak Dream has become, seeing how he’s fallen, Punz still sees him as an equal on this godforsaken server. ___________________ After Dream escapes Pandora's Vault, he goes to Punz who helps him through the worst of his injuries, and assures Dream that he would love him no matter what.

Personal notes: HNNNNNNNNNNNNNN THEY ARE IN LOVE,,,, THE ANGST CAN'T DEFEAT THEM,,,

all your ivory glory by eleostomercy

“You’re a cockslut.” Dream’s eyes flick up. He’s sure he makes quite the sight, knelt at Punz’s feet, knelt over a baby blue dildo, and dripping between his thighs with a hand on Punz’s cock. “What about it?” or, where dream has an idea and a need to be between punz's legs.

Personal notes: clapping and cheering and blowing the building up because its what they deserve.

twisted on my tongue by eleostomercy

I know what a sex machine is,” Punz mutters, unsteady on his feet as he rights himself by the refrigerator; the revelation is surprising, sure, but his own astonishment at Dream’s hidden possession is nearly gone. “I just didn’t think that—” “What?” Dream’s embarrassment has melted away by now, and it leaves in its place a sharp grin and gleaming eyes. “Didn’t think I would own one?” or, where dream reveals a well-kept secret and punz decides to give it his own gleaming review.

Personal notes: hey did you know that they're in love. Did you know that I'm throwing shit and maiming because they are in love.

their hungry thirsty roots by consumptive_sphinx

Punz, somewhere above him, sighs, and then there’s a flowering vine in his face and he can’t fucking breathe. His knees hit the ground again and this time Punz wraps an arm around his chest and doesn’t let go, combs through his hair with their fingers while he coughs until his eyes water. “Sorry, man,” they say, and “I know,” and “it’s alright.” Something’s fucking happening while he coughs and Dream doesn’t like drugs under the best of circumstances— they make him slow, they make him stupid, they make him off his game and he can’t be off his game— but the alarm is leeching away. It’s like trying to cling to water. By the time he can breathe again his legs feel too weak to move on.

Personal notes: hnnnn Egg fics.... my one (1) weakness....

pleasure in death by bugginmate

“Here’s how this is gonna work, sweetheart,” he murmurs, brushing Dream’s too long hair out of his face. “You’re going to do what I say. I’m gonna get you all worked up and begging for me. Then when- or if- I decide to let you feel good, I am going to kill you. Do you understand?” Dream and Punz are brainstorming ways to die for their limbo research.

Personal notes: two bros, chilling in their lab, fucking around against OSHA regulations.

Scour and Scorch by FraustiButBad (FraustiNoSnowman)

“Is everything about numbers to you?” He retorts. It’s a weak one, at that, not because it doesn’t mean anything to Punz, but because both of them know that it’s almost a hundred percent true, and Punz is proud of that fact. “Yes,” the lighter blonde admits. His thumb rests on the front of Dream’s chin, and he pulls Dream’s head down to eye level; Dream has to grip the table for him to not punch Punz in the face, or throw on his jacket and leave. “It’s all numbers to me. And where does that take me, sweetheart?” Punz does everything for numbers. • Dream and Punz, musicians, classmates, enemies, friends with benefits, are everything that could be set fire to.

Personal notes: the unreliable narrator that is Dream. also kink. peoples two favorite things.

Red Sweater by Typical_Kiwi

Punz really has to go to work and Dream's making it exceedingly difficult. (Punz isn't blameless.)

Personal notes: THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. SO MUCH. SHUT UPPPPPPP

Home for the Holidays by Toasted_Poison

"So, where am I sleeping?” Dream asked, looking around the large room, the couch did look quite comfortable. Punz shook his head, opening his suitcase to unpack, “Are you playing dumb? In bed with me.” “Oh! Are we going to explore each other's bodies?” Dream teased. The dirty blond kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket, placing it on the couch before his gloves joined it. He didn’t expect an answer from Punz, who was staring down at a blue shirt in his hands before looking up and smiling at Dream with a cock of his eyebrow. “If you’d like."

Personal notes: (you see an image of goofy floating in a fountain)

Play To Win by angeIofsmalldeath

He likes his roommate, he really does. All things aside, they’re relatively close and spend a decent amount of time together. Punz keeps his space neat, they split dish duty, and his rent is always on time. He’s not a bad roommate in the slightest. That does not change the fact that this is not the first time Dream has found himself incredibly annoyed on behalf of Punz and his stupid video game. Dream is sick of his roommate playing video games loudly all night long. So, they make a bet.

Personal notes: Listen. Listen. Listen. Actually Don't listen. Have you considered the benefits of shedding your skin and becoming a skeleton

i'll be unclean, i'll be obscene (you be the rest) by staged

“I wanna choke you.” Punz leans down to say in Dream’s ear, dragging his teeth against the lobe and pressing a wet kiss to his jaw. “Do it.” Dream pleads, rocking back on a harsh thrust. His eyes flutter, meeting Punz’s gaze with a forest of vulnerability, thick with desperate want. “What if I kill you?” Punz mouths down Dream’s neck, licking around the space between his fingers. It’s spoken like a suggestion, a sadistic fantasy that they want to play out. “Then bring me back.”

Personal notes: Theyre so wonderfully fucked up I would Die for them.

I miss ya, and our rendezvous by froghatter

Five times Punz and Dream made bets together and only once does Dream lose.

Personal notes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Transactional Satisfaction by TastesLikeBakingSoda

Punz takes his payment.

Personal notes: Don't look at me go away.

candy games by Royal_Stars

Dream wants to play a game. Punz obliges. Why wouldn't they, when they get kisses out of it? It leads to a bit more than the two of them bargained for, but hey, neither of them are really complaining.

Personal notes: I am slowly sliding them both together. then they kiss. then they kiss. then they

but the damage has been done by Anonymous

After weeks upon weeks of exhaustive experimentation on the nature of life, death, and revival, Punz and Dream are both tired. One of them was bound to break. But Punz is not going to let it be Dream.

Personal notes: they are full of mental illness and so am I.

Sublime by cosmicskies

Punz will make him food. He knows what Dream needs right now. Soft touches and to be showered in attention even though he scowls and tries to send the other away every time. During the moments where Dream can think without being shouted at by his own mind, he’ll tell Punz about the things he wishes he didn’t think. How sometimes, asking to be held is the scariest thing of them all. But they’re both touchy people.

Personal notes: (you hear explosions in the distance)

[vecnuthy]

whatcha readin?

Tagged by @judasofsuburbia This is suchhh a cool idea! This list doesn't even scratch the surface, but basically all of these JUST updated, so I'm in Kermit on a typewriter mode. They're all smutty with I think one exception, so. That's your warning. And they're all Steddie. Mind the tags as always!

Money, Power, Glory by @strangerthings1975 just wrapped and I'm an emotional WRECK because this story is fucking insanely good. Mutual pining, angst with a happy ending, communication is king, sooo much fluff even with the heavy themes. The summary from ao3: Steve starts paying Eddie for sex once he discovers that Eddie doesn't just deal drugs and perform at the Hideout. Strap tf in, heed the tags, bask in its magnificence. This fic is always on my mind, no exaggeration.

is your light on? by @toburnup I love how Vio weaves nuance and simplicity and still manages to have it all land like a ton of bricks. The slowest of burns, have aloe on hand!! Happy ending is guaranteed too thank god because I want to shake the shit out of these two sometimes. This story steamrolls my soul and lives rent free in my brain, and I'm so excited to read the chapter that just posted. I'm screaming!!

Tell Me "Don't" So I Can Crawl Back In They are disasters! They are everything! Steve ditches the old friends and decides to get friendly with Eddie. Steve surprises tf out of Eddie (and me) in this one, and it's a lottt of fun to read.

I can't tune you out by @hairstevington famous musicians Steddie, fake dating/enemies to lovers, slow burn, and Buckingham? Absolutely. Read it.

Tentative by @eddywoww Sapphic Steddie with Stevie in a ln all-girls pop group with Eddie as their assistant. Y'aaallll. Shenanigans. Delicious, thirsty shenanigans. I'm literally signed up for anything that Lee does. I Made Loving You a Bloodsport, Uneducated Guesses, everythinggggg.

Blood and Water by @aidaronan sapphic witches Steddie that has me so hyped to see what all is going to happen. I live for the vibes/aesthetic, and it's already so dark and juicy!

as good a place to fall as any by @rewritingicarus photographer Eddie and amateur model Steve. Oh. My god. I fucking love this story. It's so steamy, and come ON. The title coming from Bedroom Hymns by Florence + the Machine? I jumped on it as soon as I saw the title and I haven't looked back since. I crave the updates!

What about you? No pressure, of course! @steddiealltheway @flowercrowngods @grimmfitzz @henderdads @hairmetal666 @stevebabey @emryses @wormdebut @asbealthgn @steves-strapcollection @onirislanding and anybody else who'd like to participate ✨️

[the-muppet-joker]

gay as hell to be a Muppet. you like getting hands shoved up your asshole? Wow.

Kermit: Is that supposed to be an insult? You fucking homophobe! Fuck you! YOU...Rrrr....GRRRRR.... *about to enter Dark Muppet Mode*

Joker: *laughing* Easy, darling. It's just a hater... you know what we do with them...

K: WE KILL THEM.

J: Exactly. But why rush? We will destroy him soon enough. First, why don't you tell me why you're so upset?

K: ...because. Sometimes it's hard to be proud of who you are. I just...

J: Go on, love...

K: I have worked so hard to get to this point. To live without shame. And these fuckers think they can come in here, make me feel like there is something wrong with me, and undo all my progress? It's not fair! It's not... fuck... *begins to cry*

J: *Holding him* Easy, easy. Let it out. It's okay. But this hater cannot truly hurt you. He cannot shame you unless you allow yourself to feel shame.

K: *drying eyes with a slight laugh* That's true. What was I thinking? That was silly of me. Really there's nothing to be so upset about...

J: ...Especially when, technically, the anon isn't wrong, exactly. Is he, Kermit *sly look*

K: Oh? *seeing where he is going with this and getting excited* Oh... heh. Well, I suppose you have a point ♡

J: You love having my hand deep inside your muppet hole, don't you, darling? *His fingers lightly trace the outside of Kermit's hole*

K: *Blushing* Ah~ you always know just how to make me feel better~ fuck. Fist me, Joker. Let's show these fools that they cannot make me hide who I am!

*Joker slides his hand swiftly into Kermit's tight, wet hole*