#I MEAN I WAS. BUT I SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

here-kittykitty · 1 year

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okay kinda tmi warning for under the cut (periods and Lux horny whining)

im on my period and i get really REALLY fucking horny on my periods but also I (autistic) actually hate touching bodily fluids that arent cum or blood lmao so I cant touch myself rn and I (autistic) hate touching myself in the bath/shower and I (paranoid) can't wear tampons so I'm stuck rubbing myself through this stupid fucking pad and everything hurts but it hurts less when i cum but i CANT because i cant TOUCH MYSELF PROPERLY and HEY TURNS OUT EDGING ISNT FUN WHEN YOURE ACTUALLY BITING YOUR PILLOW FROM FRUSTRATION.

#GOD FUCKING HELP ME IM STUCK LIKE THIS FOR LIKE 4 MORE DAYS #I WAS NOT BUILT FOR THIS #I MEAN I WAS. BUT I SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN.#why does god give her horniest problems to its most body-fluid-adverse warriors #i also have this thing where if i go too long without cumming i get really antsy and overstimulated really easily and i have meltdowns a lo #and i have work tomorrow #and i will Kill Mineself----#why is my autism tied to my libido this way.#awful. horrible. someone rewire me real quick #anyway.#will probably delete this later lmao

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dreamsy990 · 6 months

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some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace

extras below the cut

sketch

closeups on my favorite panels

bonus: adios

#doodles #kingdom hearts #roxas #axel #olette #aromantic #asexual #aroace #do i tag pence. hes in the background of one panel #ehhhh sorry pence no tag for you #also not tagging soriku and namixi #i mean by the logic of 'theyre in one panel so i wont tag them' i also shouldnt tag axel but. he has dialogue so #anyways i have a very irrational love of olette whenever i need a random side character in a kh comic? olette #i think she uses webmd. anyways im done talking about olette #so let me clarify about this comic #im aroace. this is all just things ive thought before #im not saying in any way these thoughts are real. theyre just thoughts #thats why it ends with 'but there isnt. its just me.' there IS nothing wrong with being aroace. even if it feels like it sometimes #im not trying to send a message im just trying to express a feeling ive had for a while #anyways. the aroace community is super positive and i like that. but not everything i feel about it is that positive #sometimes it feels like im missing something yknow #this comic seems like its about roxas. but its about me. congrats youve been fooled #drafted something similar to this for aro week but didnt finish it in time so this is spiritually part of asaw 2024 #btw sorry im not posting as many drawings lately #schools kinda stressful im pretty tired and busy most the time #i am throwing this drawing to you like a slab of meat to a pack of hungry dogs. take this meager ration in these trying times #alright i think thats it bye now

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 4 months

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Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?

put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings

#realtalk therapy doesnt work unless the person getting the therapy puts in the effort to make it work #eridan starts the comic in complete and utter denial that he's in need of help #so there's really nothing i nor any stranger could do about that #HOWEVER he does talk to karkat often about his feelings (and vice versa) and #the reason they didnt hang out during the game seems to be #1) they were on separate teams and didnt realize the teams were the same team until later on #2) by then it was too late and eridan had aggro'd all his angels #3) gamzee was deliberately keeping eridan away from karkat and vice versa (likely bc gamzee had a palecrush on kk)#4) karkat was too busy falling victim to his own insecurities abt being a leader to pay attention to his actual friendships #4a) eg. it shouldve been the time player doing the frog hunt with kanaya & not the blood player #like im not saying moirallegiance with karkat would have fixed all of eridans problems but i am saying #what eridan really needed was a friend who took his problems seriously and could see past his bullshitting #and karkat already WAS that friend - they just never hung out #so by the time the meteor rolls around eridan has spent WEEKS feeling abandoned anxious and alone on his death planet #and karkat has gotten used to not thinking about eridan too much #so karkat - who is basically eridans only actual friend at that point - isnt able to get through to him & eridan snaps #like the thing about sburb/homestuck is that it really stresses the importance of friendship and working together #letting each other help with each others' problems #thats why the smallest viable game is still two people by necessity #so when we see things like gamzee snapping or eridan snapping or vriska snapping #as much as these are the 'fault' of the person snapping they also need to be viewed as comprehensive team failures #the people who should have spent the game together didnt and the people who shouldnt have spent the game together did #vriska was allowed to bully tf outta tavros and nobody intervened #eridan was left all alone and nobody tried to help him #and everybody was mean to gamzee and nobody tried to connect with him #and you know whose job it is to make sure the right people are hanging out together? the blood player #and unfortunately our blood player was so insecure that he was doing jobs that werent his to do #im not saying pale erikar would fix homestuck but i am saying pale erikar is a symptom of things being fixed in homestuck

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queenerdloser · 9 months

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i just finished dark heir

#me foaming at the mouth during the last chapters: HE IS! FUCKING! SAVING YOU!#i am huddled around will kempen hissing like a mama cat none of these fuckers are allowed to look at him #dark rise #okay but like. cyrian at literally every moment in the book you see will anticipating things and making connections #that you never make. doing things like a leader & being fucking smart and strategic. and your dumb ass really thought.#hm. must mean i shouldnt listen to him about the magic staff that can literally stop the end of the world. must be evil.#me: [screams into the abyss]#i know i cant expect characters to react like readers and they DID all react like i knew they would but god it was so infuriating!!!!!#and heart breaking! god!!!! god!!!!! will reliving his mother's initial betrayal over and over and OVER again #and thinking about all the little moments we get where the novel tells us: if these 'evil' characters had just been accepted #instead of tossed aside maybe they wouldnt have fallen. if they had been protected instead of killed maybe they would have #become protectors instead of killers. maybe if will's mom hadn't tried to butcher him for the sin of his own birth #he wouldn't have been so scared to tell people he lied to them.#anyway im not normal about will kempen and if book 3 doesnt give me his friends fucking accepting him i'll kill someone #me looking directly at visander: i dont care how charming you are i'll murder your ass about it #i read this book in like 5 hrs im being very normal about it

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kurikorso · 2 years

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pose practice with everyone’s favorite guy

#persona 5 #p5 yusuke #yusuke kitagawa #all my rat #helloooo im back again #i love yusuke hes so great im foaming at the mouth to get his confidant #UHHHHHGGGG i cant figure out a shading style that looks good with thick lineart!#i went on a fucking HUNT to find out what those characters mean #they just say yusuke #idk what the red box means tho but ill figure it out #it shouldnt have been so difficult but i couldnt get any translator to translate it and i couldnt find anyone mentioning it on the internet #i had a whole background planned that i was working on and i turned all the layers off and i was like huh... that looks way better

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yuwuta · 2 months

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twin aus are fun bc sukuna is sooooo ugly and yuuji is soooooooo pretty and beautiful and lovely <3 completely understand why sukuna ends up the deliquent loser twin bc why would anybody choose him when <3yuuji<3 is right there

#this is a sukuna hate post 😐 the first of many to come.#ive been hating on geto (and will.) but you all should know i dont fuck with that ugly ass BITCH either!!!!!#itadori twin au is so fun in my head bc not only is sukuna the ugly loser degenerate twin he's also Younger than yuuji (by like. and hour..#it was probably hard to birth his big ass head) but like. yuuji is born at 11 something pm one night and sukuna is at 12 am the next day #so they NEVER celebrate their birthdays together as they SHOULDNT! cant blame yuuji for that !!!!#see also: sukuna hates and claims he can beat up all of yuuji's friends except nobara #bc when they were 4 he was mean to her and she took a hammer to his shoulder and he has never forgotten it #he's all talk 🙄 fraud watch #see also: choso doesnt usually interfere with the twins arguing except when sukuna does too much and now he has to be all Big Brother #it's also extremely hilarious to imagine youre dating yuuji and you two stop by his house #and hes like ah fuck he's here.. he's not supposed to be here 🙄 lets go! and ur like wait who is here what's going on #and too late. sukuna comes out of his room and hes on his way out and ur like what. who. yuuji what the fuck just happened #and hes like that was my brother..#and ur like. u... have a brother.... a twin brother? and NOBODY told me?????#and yuujis like yeah in an ideal world i would have never needed to bring him up 🙄

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wayward-wren · 4 months

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I'm hoping episode 3 let's Ruby see the dark side of the Doctor. I feel that adds a very important dynamic to a Doctor-companion relationship, when they see how dark he can be and still choose to travel with him early on.

Rose watching Nine drag Cassandra back to die. Eleven yelling at Amy "Nobody human has anything to say to me today!" Donna begging Ten to stop drowning the spider babies, and then again to go back and save someone in Pompeii.

Fifteen has been FUN and I know he can do emotional range, I've seen his fear and his tears already. But I want to see him dark, and I want to see Ruby respond to that. I think it would add a LOT of depth to their relationship and is something missing.

Plus showcasing the Doctor's flaws (selfishness) will make him a much more interesting character. I want to see some conflict between the Doctor and Ruby.

#wren rambles #doctor who #fifteenth doctor #ruby sunday #something about not letting heroes have flaws #and thus being one dimentional and less interesting #its a flaw i saw them slipping into a bit with thirteen #where she was always the Moral Voice #i LIKE it when the Doctor is instinctually cruel and has to be talked out of it and actively choose to be kind #it makes the character SO much more interesting #and raises the emotional stakes so much #so far fifteen has been FUN #but he hasnt been a rounded character #and until we see his flaws hes never gonna be in the runnings for a favourite #i think the doctor is an inherantly selfish character #and he has to make an active effort to NOT be #“Im his carer” “yes she cares so I dont have to”#im worried a six month time jump removed the opportunity for this kinda thing though #i Need to be able to look at the doctor and know. this is the man who killed a planet #and i havent been seeing that in the character recently #still early days yet though!#the doctor shouldnt be the moral center of the show--his companion should be #i think thats why i love 12 so much tbh #because his whole THING is to choose to be kind #without hope without witness without reward #being “good” (and whatever that means is a discussion for another day) doesnt come easily to him #love isnt an emotion its a promise #i want to see fifteen STRUGGLING to choose to do good #and i want to see ruby witness that

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coolnonsenseworld · 1 year

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I wanted to say that outside of semantics and divisions - I am simply happy to find communities that welcome with kindness - that welcome you by a good heart and not the ability to conform. I am happy for the opportunity to be surrounded by people who care. It's a funny world we live in - making the same mistakes over and over, multiplying the same suffering by billions. I don't think I hope for an utopia anymore, I don't think such a thing exists - but you can't call me hopeless either. And that's what matters.

As a side note - this piece is set in DanceAU, which might be better known to Patrons so far, but still it was the best and most fitting option for this occasion..... also there are 12 DanceAU pieces incoming, because I might be making another calendar so. get familiar with these mutts

#klance #voltron legendary defender #klance fanart #priDEMONth #you know there is always so much happening idk what to add in the tags #i made banana bread yesterday and almost burned the kitchen (right after i asked myself how bad can it be?) i am not kidding #and then burned my arm twice trying to avoid a burn which is top ten ways to get them #its okay tho it doesnt hurt anymore #there was also my nameday which I forgot about and had a headache thorough #also when i was drawing i was considering that lance is maybe a bit too tall on this piece #he IS taller but bending like that with keith standing straight?#i mean gay?#idk about that #but i decided not to worry danceau always has heels for that #i also have been so deep in wirting hex if you dont know whats hex dw you shouldnt #but i have this love hate relationship with it everyone knows it its a sinusoid #im on my happy phase with it lately #no one jinx it it better last #all i wanted was bamf rescues and cliche tropes and now im trying to do them justice in 200 thousand words or less idk why #they could have been just fighting demons and cuddling #either way happy pride once again!!

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skunkes · 4 months

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thjat one post about going thru your entire life trying to avoid being yelled at❗❗❗❗

#talkys #i cant drive alone yet or hide an entire surgery from my parents which means if i want to look into #getting sterilized i have to discuss it with them and im scared bc i rly dont know what theyll say or do. lol.#theres also the fact that ive wanted this since i was a child but i knowww theyre going to make me feel like i shldnt do it #and ill start doubting it...not bc i dont want it but because welllll shouldnt I be saving moneyy...its not URGENT.....etc #im already talking myself out of it like ive been trained to. i dont want to be yelled at.#i dont need it i just want it. and not bad enough to be yelled at #i dont want anything bad enough to be yelled at.

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bvckbiter · 2 days

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house of hades really gave us a “luke was right” moment for percy and a “if anger is what percy needs to survive then so be it” moment for annabeth and then went nowhere with it

#this is what i mean when i say percabeth shouldnt have been in hoo #their arcs already took away from the other characters and then had the audacity to amount to nothing #percy jackson #annabeth chase #my meta #rr crit #hoo crit

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dukeofthomas · 8 days

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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.

(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)

#my dc posting #dc #jason todd #jaybin #im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me #in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise #i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right #the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home #ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman #and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed #and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl #d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit #i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger #it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit #but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered #anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11 #a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl #but is loud and obvious abt it #so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about #anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing #him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao

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musubiki · 1 month

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lately ive been thinking about the contrast going on in Early Lime where hes like "tbh im pretty sure i could have any girl i wanted including mochi i mean i guess if she wanted we could give it a shot one day but i dont really care lol" and then very easily becoming completely unhinged for her the second he gets a tinge of romantic affection

#lime: yeah mochis not a huge deal i mean were friends #af (after affection) lime: *needs to dunk his head in the sink at least once a week trying to snap himself out of thinking about her*#anyway. its been a while since them i miss them #my recent development is taking away limes mochi cuddle time #it makes more sense for the slow burn if he cant cuddle with her whenever he wants #starve him #lime: (why would i like her shes so plain shouldnt i be with like some supermodel or something ??)#lime: (the kind of person everyone wants but cant have??)#also lime when mochi smiles at him: (i want to kiss the shit out of you)#i think there something about limes family where being a goldwood means being expected to be a cut above #where its ingrained they should only be/settle for the best of the best #so lime catching feelings for this (pre-reveal) very normal and plain forgettable girl that no one else seems to give a shit about..#...is a struggle for him #tiramisu thinks its laughable because the goldwoods arent part of the magic community #she thinks its hilarious how they are lowkey obsessed with being successful and top-notch when they literally have no idea whats going on #i dont think the goldwoods are even especially rich #maybe its just one of those (parents being hard on you so you can have a better life than they did) kind of things #but they are known to be a well-connected and beautiful family #any goldwood you meet i the prettiest person youve ever seen #i wonder if they were disappointed or proud of lime when they found out he joined the capitol guard #his sister became a dentist #maybe it was one of those (why would you join the military...youre going to struggle...)#and then he tells them his paycheck and all of a sudden theyre like (we're so proud!!!)#(the capitol guard in general has pretty normal pay but the m-34th gets way more as a specialized unit)

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puhpandas · 4 months

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hi mutuals im just curious.

#im a ggy lover myself and would obviously love to see it realized in a game #but i also like gregory as a character more than his semi-canon backstory #and have complicated feelings on if i want them to confirm ggy at all.#i love ggy but dont want it to take screentime away from gregory #who alongside vanessa havent been focused on in years #(ruin was mimic basically the whole time #doesnt count) and need the screentime desperately.#personally #after THIS long (2 and a half years since gregory screentime and over a year since GGYs release)#i cant help but always wonder if theyve just. waited too long and they shouldnt confirm it.#at least just that they shouldnt release something just for the sake of confirming it and just leave it as book knowledge.#if they did focus on ggy in a game i'd want it to serve the plot involving multiple characters and progress slowly #i dont want it to be confirmed then its just background knowledge i would want there to be a plotline of #gregory remembering it throughout the plot of a game and dealing with it.#it'd confirm it then but it'd also still be wholly focused on Gregory alone and also be a natural reveal for people who dont read the books #for me its option 3 i guess. by all means its for sure canon at the moment im just talking about how it would be revealed in a game #or if at all and left as knowledge someone who read the books would know #my idea is wishful thinking we'd never get something that intricate #i can hope though #i could be so cool #but damn theyre just handling the story so strangely rn #pandas.txt #pandas talks #poll #thoughts #pre hw2 dlc #jic

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oceanwithouthermoon · 5 months

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i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

#crazy that the mindset some people on here have is that theyre the only ones allowed to post their opinions #ive repeated this a lot on this blog but i rlly think people forget that the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person #if ur harassing people and publicly making fun of them then ur just as bad as any real life bully #that shit isnt as funny or harmless as u like to pretend it is #not once have i ever targetted anyone or went on someones blog to harass them over my opinion #yet people think its fine to do the same to me and treat it as if its like. revenge or something #like ? me saying 'i dont like toxic yaoi' is not equivalent to someone going on someone elses page and going 'how tf do u like toxic yaoi'#I DONT CARE !! all ive ever done is sit in my own little bubble and had opinions and that makes people mad #honestly though the people who will publicly talk and post abt it are significantly meaner #and i want to act like im not bothered by it because i know most of them r just angry that someone has a different opinion #and they want all their followers to bandwagon off of them (idk why maybe for validation or whatever-same reasons anyone would bully)#but seriously if u actually do think that something i said was out of line and crossed thise boundaries- just fucking tell me ?#im a person bro. ur solution to disagreeing with me shouldnt be 'lol im gonna post abt this and make everyone harass them'#have a conversation with me dude i dont bite ? if u cant talk to me like a person then just dont fucking say anything wtf #its so cowardly to be like 'well no i didnt wanna say anything to u cuz i didnt wanna be rude.. so instead i publicly made fun of u!'#LIKE WHATTTT STOPPPPP </3333 #ok anyway this post wasnt supposed to get THAT serious.#MY POINT IS just be considerate of other people and dont base ur hatred off of assumptions #ur deflecting the blame onto someone else because u dont want to admit that ur just a fucking bully lol #being inconsiderate on here is something ive also been guilty of back when i first joined the fandom and was clueless #but grown ass adults who have been on here way longer r still doing that shit which is crazy #and i cant say anything because they have so much leverage over me and idk if its on purpose or if they dont even realize #ok im putting fandom tags cuz i want people to see this sorry. this is my one post thats actually targetted but its at a lot of people #so if u look at this and think 'hey i do that' pls evaluate urself<3 #i mean its also targetted at everyone who does this anonomously so i dont know who it is OKOK IM DONE BYE SORRY HOPE THIS IS UNDERSTANDABLE #watch nobody read this fr #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post

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brain-rot-hour · 10 months

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Sometimes I remember how to draw

#inuyasha #brain rot art #by that i mean like #without a reference #i dont have the whole mental imagery thing #so sometimes i panic if i dont have a reference #because even if I know what something should look like #my brain struggles really hard with getting it out on paper #lately ive been super dependent on refeences #which isnt a bad thing at all!#but i cant and shouldnt count on always having one #sometimes i just need to trust myself a little bit and remember what i know

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zzoupz · 5 months

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Are you a proshipper?

what if the world was made of pudding

#sorry ive been asked this exact thing like 4 times and i answer it differently everytime #i dont CARE i dont CARE what people JERK IT TO but that lines up EXACTLY with the definition of proshipper so i fucking GUESS #where im from its called being normal. its internet etiquette to not seek out shit that piss you off. u dont have to care i promise #or call me a freak and block me for the both of us. curate your online experience <- thats also a proship ideal ewwww #unless this is one of those who thinks proship means darkship? in this case that still depends on your definition of darkship #going by mine - u still shouldnt be surprised when i have a fav ship like garyjohn. but no i dont think i like anything more fucked up #sorry i went in tangents but theres absolutely much more i wanna say. its 2:30 am rn and i dont trust myself enough tho.

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