#I also bought the box set after I’d finished it the first time bc it was the sort of thing I NEEDED in physical form

[noodles-and-tea]

BBC Sherlock is on Hulu! :)

Congratulations!

[bo0zey]

my friend who doesn’t have adhd and just wants an adderall perscription: i definitely have adhd like i never pay attention and i’m such a procrastinator omg lol btw i’m at the library studying and doing homework that’s not due until 3 days ugh what are you doing have you started studying yet we have those worksheets due tomorrow remember and it’s already 6pm! omg what do u mean u haven’t started the paper yet it’s literally due in 3 hrs omg no it’s ok i’ll just send u mine bc i’ve been working on it all day haha and omg i’m trying to pay attention to the lecture can u stop talking to me why r u reading online manga in class the exam is in 2 days pay attention! also i need caffeine to stay awake i love monster energy drinks they work so well i won’t be able to sleep tonight oh no also i took adderall 3hrs ago and now i’m super anxious but it’s not the adderall lol ugh i won’t be able to sleep tonjght ughh

me, someone who actually has adhd, pre-diagnosis: studying is so hard and i don’t want to do it and i literally can’t until hours before the exam and by then i’m so exhausted bc it’s like 3am but if i drink coffee or monster or bang i just get sleepier also i procrastinate entire research papers including the research hours before the due date even tho i knew abt the paper for a month and i wrote it in my assignment notebook every day knowing i needed to do it and i drink coffee before bed bc it relaxes me n makes me sleepy im constantly moving and shifting in my seat in class and i got paid 4 hrs ago and bought $500 worth of amazon products and now i don’t have any money for groceries for the next 2 weeks my thoughts go so fast and they’re so loud i can’t follow a conversation let alone a class lecture paying attention to anything i don’t care abt but am supposed to is impossible if i don’t write everything i need to do down i will forget about it and if i put my keys or vape or anything somewhere besides it’s designated spot for 1 minute i will literally forget where it is and if something isn’t directly in my line of sight i will forget i have it so i have to place everything in my line of sight for me to remember to use it and ok i’m at work i have a 14hr shift and a set of tasks i need to complete omg i’m so overwhelmed and frazzled i write down the list of tasks every shift and check off boxes to remember to do things but even then i still fall behind and why am i overwhelmed i know what i have to do please don’t ask me to do that thing i’m already trying to remember to do one thing ahhh ok i’m so exhausted it’s 12am and everyone’s asleep i have 3hrs left of my shift omg i’m so bored and tired ok i will have coffee and an energy drink to wake up bc i don’t wanna fall asleep here and i have an hour drive back home and oh wow i am now driving on the way and dozing off i am so sleepy sleepy sleepy why can’t i stay i awake i had 300mg of caffeine like 2hrs ago i’m going to crash the car why isn’t this energy drink working and hmm ok it’s now monday night i have school tmrw it’s 11pm i guess i’ll try n sleep i have class at 9am oh wait what is this sudden wakefulness i feel i am very awake i think i will maybe try to do homework to get tired actually no i think i will go on the internet instead hmm look at those cool show i think i will watch it ugh ok that was the longest 30min of my life i will not be able to watch another episode for at least 2 days probably oh it’s 3am i need to sleep but i can’t shut my brain off ugh oh no this sucks i hate myself why can’t i just get my shit together i know what i have to do but i just can’t fucking do it it’s so frustrating i’m trying so hard but i keep self sabotaging why why why

me, after being diagnosed w adhd and starting medication: wow for the first time in 8 years i’m actually paying attention in class and actively following what my professor is saying. i think i will do some homework now so i am not overwhelmed later. uh oh my dishes are starting to stack up i think i will clean them instead of starting a new pile. hmm my room is getting a little messy i think i will put things away including the clean clothes on that chair i’d been avoiding putting away for a week. i am following our conversation and i will wait until you are finished until it is my turn to speak instead of blurting out or interrupting you. oh i just got paid! hmm do i really need all of that online shopping stuff..? i think i will wait for a little bit and come back to it if i rlly want it bc what if something happens during the week and i need money to pay for it? oh i have to go to work it’s a 14hr shift; i am able to complete the tasks i need to do with ease bc i know what to do and when to do them and am no longer overwhelmed. i don’t need to drink that energy drink bc i know it will just make me more sleepy and i’ll doze off at the wheel on the highway and i don’t want that! ok i’m home yawn i think i will try n go to sleep it’s 11pm and i am genuinely tired.

[itstittycitybaby]

What is Lost is Once Found Again (Lin Beifong x fem! reader)

 A/N: this is the angst fic and i have finished editing it. been feeling down lately because of some things so whens a better time to write something angsty? also reader is a firebender bc i feel like firebenders do not get enough love. enjoy yall. 

warnings: angst, emotional/physical abuse, one homophobic slur.

You saw how happy they were. They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. The bouquet of flowers fell from your hands. Its petals falling like the pieces of your heart that shattered. Though, this was your fault wasn’t it? You had introduced them after all and they hit it off. The rest was history. She laughed; Tenzin had made her laugh. Your vision became blurry from the tears in your eyes. You wanted to scream. You had been too late. Lin looked over and waved at you. There was a grin on her face, something you never really saw from her. You swallowed the cry that threatened to claw its way out. The urge to vomit was strong. You waved back weakly. Their attention turned from you and back to them. The fresh wild flowers you had picked for her were now damaged. It didn’t matter anymore. She looked so happy standing next to him. Lin’s green eyes looked a bit soft as she noticed the bouquet. It was a rare sight to see her so happy. Her voice sounded blurry and muddled. It felt like you were watching a movie play out on the big screen of a theatre. Tenzin looked concerned at your state of being. Here you were standing in front of them but you seemed gone. Lin’s voice snapped you out of your daze. 

Her strong features pulled in concern as she called your name softly. “Are you alright?” No, you weren’t. You couldn’t tell Lin how much it hurt to see how happy she was with Tenzin. You couldn’t confess your feelings that you’ve been harboring for a while. Tenzin was your best friend and you didn’t want to ruin how joyful he was. If he knew he’d step aside and let you have her. He’d swallow it all down just for you. Blinking, your lips quivered. “I-I was just going to visit my father’s grave,” you lied. Their faces dropped; they knew how important your father had been to you. “Is that what you were going to give him,” Tenzin asked gently, head motioning to the now ruined flowers on the gravel. At that moment you hated Tenzin. He was so soft and kind that you felt guilty about falling in love with his girlfriend. You nodded, “Doesn’t matter anyways. I-I gotta go...see you later.” They tried to stop you; they called after you but you ignored them. She was gone now. You were too late. They were so enamored with each other now it didn’t matter anymore. The ache in your heart was deep. You felt anchored in the cold icy waters of the ocean but you couldn’t reach out. Cement blocks held your feet every time as you dragged through the sand. The ache in your bones became numb with the cold and every time you screamed you’d choke on the water. He makes her happy, you told yourself. I was too late.

Neither of them really talked to you anymore. It was expected, though. They were a new couple in the honeymoon phase. That’s how your mother put it, the alcohol in her system making her words slur and her movements clumsy. Your father’s anniversary of his death had passed a couple days ago and your mom became even more depressed. You fought the urge to scorch the walls that night when she spat her venomous words towards you. They were a sharp blade but you didn’t care. It would sink its blades into your skin and blood would rise. Eventually, it all became numb. Her sharp hilt of words became numb once more. “It’s your fault he’s dead. It’s your fault he’s gone.” The words stung but she was right. Your father’s death was your fault. “You know,” Tenzin started, his legs swinging off the steps of your porch. “My family will always welcome you.” It was cold that night. The freezing air bit your fingers and the wind whipped your clothes around. Tenzin had come to check up on you. He always did every anniversary. “I know,” you said softly. “I know.”

“No wonder she doesn’t talk to you anymore. A handsome and kind man sweeps Lin off of her feet. I’d do the same.” Your mother was sober this morning. She was back to her usual jabs but the eggs in front of you helped drown her out. You clenched your fork tightly, your knuckles turned white. “Too bad you couldn’t get him first.” You slammed your fist down on the counter. Flames flickered in your hands. Its tongues threatened to burn the counter you sat at. Your mother whipped around, eyes growing wide at your burning hands. You could feel how scared she was. She didn’t bother you anymore that day.

Dammit Tenzin! Lin’s room was warm compared to your frozen house. You always envied her for it but not tonight. You held her tight as she vented about her boyfriend. Well, now ex boyfriend. The thought made you scoff. Pema was a sweet girl but she was selfish. Incredibly selfish. “Am I just unloveable?” You snapped out of your thoughts. Lin didn’t shed any tears but her voice sounded so broken. “No Lin no,” you said softly, rubbing her shoulder supportively. “Tenzin’s just a dumbass. Pema is selfish and wanted to break two people’s happiness. Tenzin was stupid to got for it. You are loveable Lin.” I love you. Lin swallowed thickly; you could see her fighting the tears. “It’s stupid to cry over.” “No,” you exclaimed, pulling her into your chest. “It’s something perfectly justified to cry over! If you wanna cry you should, it’s good to cry.” “Heh. Thanks.”

 You smiled softly. The moon shone on her pale features beautifully through her bedroom window. You had snuck out that night but your mom had drunk herself to sleep. You couldn’t help but think how selfish Pema was to break two people apart. While you had kept your mouth shut and swallowed the hurt, she paraded around with Tenzin. Lin’s bedroom window was open after she helped you in. You felt guilty about throwing a small rock near her window. But, when you heard Tenzin had broken up with her from some gossip in town, you made haste to Lin. The box of fudge from the bakery you had bought for her was almost empty from eating both of your feelings. “Please don’t hurt him,” Lin said softly in your arms. Her eyes were heavy and her breathing was more shallow. “I’ll try not to,” you joked. She laughed. For the first time that night she laughed and your heart swelled at the thought. “Night Lin,” you whispered, setting her gently onto the bed. She snored softly, causing your heart to swell. You kissed her head and ventured home. 

You swung your feet from Lin’s bathroom counter. Tenzin and Lin hadn’t talked in a little over a year. Being your best friend the two of you talked and you gave clipped answers when he’d ask about her. Anytime you saw Pema you felt the rage and felt flames in your palms threatening to burst. You had yelled at him for an hour about how stupid and selfish he was. Aang had to come outside and see what all the ruckus was about. “Fuck,” you said tightly. You came back to the present from the stinging pain of the rubbing alcohol. “Sorry,” Lin muttered. For being such a hardass she was gentle when she needed to be. The cotton ball was soft on your temple, giving you some relief. At least the nosebleed stopped, but your eye was beginning to swell. “She can’t be doing this to you anymore,” she said softly, her brows worrying. For being nineteen, Lin  looked pretty mature. Though, she had always been more stern and responsible even as a kid. 

“It’s fine,” you muttered, brushing it off. You winced at the alcohol again. “No it’s not,” she replied sternly. You could see her green eyes flare up but there was concern and worry underneath it. “If you need somewhere to stay you can stay with me. I don’t want you to have to go through this anymore.” You didn’t interrupt her rant. Interrupting Lin is the equivalent to poking a grumpy old bear/ “What happened this time?” You sighed. You really didn’t want to have this conversation. Lin was open minded about certain things but you weren’t sure about being attracted to the same gender. It was still something you yourself were coming to terms with. Your mother had found out and the glass bottle shattered on the wall. It was meant for your head. “Just her being her usual self. Getting mad at something,” you clipped. Lin could tell you weren’t telling the whole story but she let it drop, thankfully. “All done,” she said. “Thanks.” She nodded in reply. “Do you need to stay here tonight?” “I don’t wanna intrude. I can stay at Kiki’s.” Kiki’s was the bakery you had bought the box of fudge for Lin when Tenzin broke up with her. The owner was always kind to you and knew about your struggles. He was warm hearted and offered you a place to crash from time to time. He reminded you of your father. Lin shook her head. “You’re staying here tonight. Besides, I just got this place and I want to spend time with you.” Your heart warmed at her words. An unrequited crush, two years strong. How sad. Your mother’s words rang in your ears. “How could she ever love a fag like you?” 

It was raining that morning. Kiki’s had hired you as a baker and offered you the room upstairs. Even though firebenders were known to be ambitious, passionate, and more aggressive than others, you had no drive or ambition. You didn’t know what you wanted in life but baking was something you were passionate about. “I’m gonna be out,” you shouted over your shoulder. “Alright be safe,” Maro, the store owner, called out from the back. Swinging your satchel over your shoulder you grabbed the box of leftover donuts for Lin. You balanced the two coffee cups on the box and swiftly left the place. Your bright blue bicycle rested on the side of the bakery. As you mounted your bike you smiled, excited to see Lin today. The two coffee cups sat in the cup holders on the sides of the basket while the donuts sat safely in the basket.The wind whipped through your hair and the rain drizzled lightly. The rain was light but you peddled quickly so the food wouldn’t be ruined. Lin’s wasn’t too far Kiki’s either. It felt freeing to be peddling down the hills; your worries flew away with the sweeping wind. Her apartment came into view. The thought of seeing her made you peddle faster. You placed your bike on the side of the building and pounded up the stairs. You held the box of donuts tightly in your hands, shielding it from the now pouring rain. Your heart quickened as you reached her front door. You had left Kiki’s at eight so she had to be up by now. You knocked on her door. Faintly, you could hear her footsteps. Lin greeted you with a blanket on her shoulders and a white tank top under it. Black sweats hugged her body nicely. The dark circles under her eyes were prominent in the bright gray morning. “What a surprise,” she said, the corners over her lips tugging upwards. You chuckled, “Had some leftovers and decided to visit. It’s been a while.” Her eyes lightened up at the sight of coffee and the delicious pastries. Lin held the door for you as you balanced the goodies and stepped into her apartment.

“Talked to Tenzin finally.” You almost choked on the sprinkled donut you were eating. Lin held her coffee cup in her hands as she glanced down at her kitchen counter. Her plain glazed donut sat on a napkin untouched. You gulped your food down. “That’s..great. What’d he say?” Lin chuckled at your answer. “He apologized, actually.” She sipped her black coffee. “Oh…” you trailed off. You weren’t sure how to respond. He had broken up with her three years ago and now apologized? “I don’t feel anything about it anymore. I was surprised, honestly.” You hummed, sipping your hot chocolate. “Took him long enough.” Lin snorted, “It did. I just can’t help but wonder...why.” You shot a confused glance her way, digging into the box for another sweet. A chocolate donut, this time. You missed the smile Lin had as she saw your childlike wonder and excitement about something so small as a pastry. “No one seems to have any interest in me anymore. Can’t help but wonder if I’m going to die alone,” she joked, taking another sip of her drink. You could hear a bit of sadness in her voice though. Passion bubbled in your chest and before you could think better you opened your mouth. “You’re not gonna die alone Lin. You’re sweet and kind and compassionate. You care about the people you love and are fiercely loyal. You’re intelligent and observant and also snarky. You’re just so….perfect!” The creeping anxiety surged when the answer you met with was silence. Muffled laughter escaped Lin’s lips as she tried to keep a straight face. It was rare; her body shook and the giggles turned into laughter. It rang in your ears and your heart swelled at the perfect sound. Before you could stop yourself, you kissed her.Her lips tasted like coffee and mint. She smelt like earth, paper, and leather. Her lips were soft and plush. Your eyes widened and immediately you pulled back. “I-I’m so s-sorry I-,” you sputtered, scurrying away from her. Lin just stared. There was no expression on her face as she looked at you. You felt tears run down your cheeks before you had a chance to stop them. A heavy lump sat in your throat and you dashed to get your bag. You left without another word, slamming Lin’s door behind you. She didn’t even try to stop you. 

“I’m a fucking idiot,” you sobbed, the rain pouring, soaking you to the bone. You peddled faster, sobs unleashing from your throat. The road was hard to see from the rain and your blurry vision. You didn’t care, if something or someone hit you you would accept your fate. Hell, that would be a good one. Better than losing Lin for good. Once you wheeled your bike to it’s spot you dashed into Kiki’s. Customers sat at tables leaving the workers distracted so you bolted upstairs. You didn’t feel like having Maro interrogate your crying right now. As much as you loved the big jolly man, you couldn’t let him see you like this. You changed out of your wet clothes and threw on something comfortable. For the rest of the day you let your blankets embrace you and cried your heart out. Eventually, you drifted off to sleep.

It was five pm once you woke up again. The memory of kissing Lin and acting so stupid made you curse. Tears threatened to spill again and you trembled. A soft knock snapped you out of your thoughts. “Come in,” you croaked. Maro opened the door poking his head in. “Are you alright?” The dam broke loose. Instantly you were a sobbing mess again. The man who was almost like your father closed the door quickly and held you in his arms. “What happened,” he cooed, rocking you back and forth. You told him everything;about your mother, your father, and Lin. After you were finished he kissed the top of your head. “Give her some time. She’ll come around with an answer for you soon. She’d be lucky to have you.” “Thanks Maro,” you sniffled, wiping your eyes. A few moments of silence stretched. You didn’t believe his words, something told you that you pushed Lin away for good.“I think I’m gonna have to leave.” The giant man beneath you squawked. “I need to learn how to control my firebending still. I’ve shut it away for so long, I think it’s time now.” Maro sighed, “I knew this day would come. You’re sure of it? What if Lin comes for you?” You shook your head. “I don’t think she will Maro.” “Alright. When you come back, you have a home here at Kiki’s. Y’know that right?” “I-I know. Thank you Maro.”

The next morning Maro and his brother waved you off. Maro cried as he gave you one last hug and a box of sweets for the go. You felt tears well up in your eyes as you said goodbye to your only family. “T-thank you Maro for everything. I never deserved your kindness.” “Yes you do, you’re family. You’re my daughter,” Maro blubbered. Even Maro’s brother who was a stone faced man had tears in his eyes You smiled. Your lips quivered and tears streamed down your face. “I love you guys,” you choked out. “I-I’ll be back soon I promise.” With one last goodbye you made your way to Tenzin and his family for a farewell.Tenzin was sad to see you go but he understood. Some journeys were meant to be traveled alone. Aang wished you the best of your travels and sent a wool cloak with you. It was soft and the warmest thing you ever owned. Pema was there, and you were civil with her, but after what she had done to Lin you didn’t see her the same. Tenzin had given you an amulet he was keeping for you and it hung around your neck proudly. You hurried to the docks of Republic City. Missing the boat would certainly add to your already dampened spirits. As you swept through the streets you couldn’t help but think of Lin. The wounds were still fresh but you trudged on. Like a coward, you ran.

Your room was barren and cold. ‘Had it always been this cold,’ Lin thought. The baker, Maro, looked sad today. It was unusual for he was joyful and warm. But today his flame had been blown at, the smoke curling around his heart. Lin was paralyzed when you had kissed her. She couldn’t move until it was too late. A white envelope sat on your desk. Lin. She ran to the desk and ripped it open. As she read it, her eyes widened and her eyes felt watery. Dammit. She was too late. Lin flung the letter on the floor and bolted to the docks. The white parchment paper sifted through the air gracefully until it fell on the ground.

Lin,

I’m sorry. I did what must be done.

 Goodbye,

xx

“No!” Lin cried out as the boat sailed away from view. Tears spilled from her cheeks and her teeth clenched. Her fists were balled tightly and her face twisted in anguish. You were gone, forever. She stood on the busy docs;people went around her throwing dirty looks her way. She didn’t care. They went around her mumbling under their breaths. She had been too late. “Line five, ship is boarding, line five, ship is boarding,” the guy called out. Lin perked up. Were you still here? Quickly, she scanned the line. Her heart stopped. She recognized the familiar body and the wool cloak shrouded protectively across their shoulders. Lin bounded over to you. Her hand grabbed your wrist tightly and she pulled you out of the line. “Hey-” your eyes widened as you saw her. “Lin? What are you-” “You’re an idiot you know that?” You gulped. You didn’t think Lin would talk to you anymore but her anger wasn’t unexpected. “I-I’m sorry,” you said softly, averting her intense gaze. “I-I wasn’t thinking clearly and I admit that. But if you’ve come here to ridicule me-” Lin smashed your lips with hers. A muffled squeak in surprise left you but you melted into her touch. Lin’s hands held your face tightly and her chest brushed up against yours. You sighed into the kiss allowing her tongue to enter your mouth and gently sucking on yours. She pulled away;both of you out of breath. Your cheeks heated up at the realization that the love of your life liked you back. “How long have you loved me,” Lin asked softly. Her eyes shone with fondness as she looked at you. “You know when you started dating Tenzin?” She nodded. “I was gonna confess to you then.” Lin’s eyes widened in shock. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You smiled sadly, “You looked so happy. I didn’t want to ruin that.” Lin kissed you again. Her hands held your waist in a tight grip and she bent you lower. You giggled, grabbing her face for support. There were tears in her eyes as she looked at you. You felt your eyes start to water and you laughed softly. “I love you,” Lin whispered, tears threatening to spill. “Don’t you ever leave me again.” You smiled, you were crying again but these were happy tears instead. Gently, she wiped the spilling tears from your cheeks with her thumbs. They felt a bit rough but you couldn’t complain. You nodded, swallowing thickly. “I love you too Lin.”

[bae-roman]

I know it’s a bit early but I remember you saying you love Christmas so I hope this is fine but can I get a holiday themed [if they don’t celebrate actual Christmas] bunni and roman drabble that’s on the more mature side and maybe before they have kids [other than Nadia oviously but maybe she’s not involved] thank you!!!! 😁

Ahh! Thanks for the request babe! I LOOOOOOOVE Christmas SO MUCH. Honestly You could send me Christmas prompts in like April and I’d still be down.

I actually have a drabble I was working on last year so I’m just going to add onto that! Nadia may be involved a tad in the beginning but I’ll make it more mature at the end!

Putting some under the cut bc it gets smutty towards the end!

This would be their first Christmas together after bunny moved in. She had told Roman many times before about her love of everything Christmas related and he’d seen how perfectly decorated her old home had been. Hell, even the year before bunny bought piles of decorations to Roman’s house after discovering all he had was a tree and a wreath which was “completely and utterly unacceptable” and “akin to child abuse” as bunny had said. 

Roman was definitely not the most into Christmas, and had Nadia not been a factor, he would likely ignore the holiday altogether. 

When Bunny cared about something she really throws herself into it and what Roman didn’t know is that Bunny had actually been toning down her Christmas spirit in the previous years. Since she had never lived alone, she always had to compromise on her decor. Even though her previous roomies were her friends and had a bit more tolerance for her antics, she still wanted to be respectful of common living areas and not shove her decorations down their throats, even if that meant having only 1 Christmas tree. 

So, now living with Roman in what she considered her home as well, she was finally able to go all out, and let me tell you -  she did. Roman went to work on December 1st to his house looking normal and came back that night to something like this

(Of course their house doesn’t look like this, but it’s how bunny hung their lights)

Like Roman is practically blinded by it while driving down the street. 

Additionally, all the trees on their property were also lit up and decorated just as extravagantly. Even if Roman wasn’t a bit of a grinch, he’d still consider this too much. When he entered the house things only got worse. While aesthetically it looked good, Roman couldn’t get over the fact that his home now closely resembled the inside of a Christmas store. 

He was greeted by Nadia running up to him, like she always did when he come home, “Don’t you like it Daddy? Bunny said I didn’t have to go to school if I helped! Isn’t it pretty?” 

Nadia was obviously very excited about the state of the house and as much as Roman loathed it, the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint his little girl so, he hid his disdain behind a fake smile and said the house looked lovely.

When Nadia dragged him away to show him the Christmas tree in her room he caught Bunny’s eye and sent her a quick scowl, but Bunny only laughed. 

After seeing the pink Christmas explosion that occurred in Nadia’s room, he took a quick look through the rest of the house, discovering every room had their own tree and separate theme. If he wasn’t so horrified that he had to live here for the next month, he’d be somewhat impressed. 

The one thing he actually did like was the main Christmas tree in the living room. Bunny had moved things around (or rather, had paid many people to move things around) so that it was centered around this colossal tree. The thing was huge but beautiful all the same. It reminded Roman of one he’d seen as a child on a trip with his father to Time’s square.

While he didn’t love the rest of the house, he appreciated that bunny had left his office alone and kept their bedroom decor to a minimum. He bitched about the decorations all month long but ultimately, didn’t order her to remove them. 

This would come to bite him in the ass the following year, though, because Bunny went even harder the next year. 

Now, let’s skip to the evening of Christmas day...

After they had put Nadia down for bed Roman and Bunny went back to the living room for a drink. 

The two of them were talking about nothing in particular for a while before roman started wandering around the tree. It was large enough that Bunny couldn’t see him on the other side but she heard some shuffling so she called out, asking what he was doing. 

Roman re-emerged holding a present, “There was one left, it says it’s for you” 

“Ooh! Does it say who it’s from? I don’t recognize the wrapping paper” Bunny was too excited about the prospect of another gift that she didn’t even notice the odd way Roman was holding the box. His arms were hanging low and he was holing it on both sides, right below his waist. 

Just as bunny was about to snatch it out of his hands, he stopped her. She looked up at him and pouted, “hey!”

“It’s uh really heavy. I guess whatever’s in here is pretty huge. Maybe just open the lid?”

“Fine, just give it to me”

When it came to presents, bunny was almost like a child. She loved gifts and surprise ones were even better. 

Once again, ignoring Roman’s odd behavior, she opened the lid of her gift and found ... Roman’s dick. 

Bunny looked up at Roman, a shit eating grin plastered on his face, and looked back down at the contents of the box again before bursting into laughter. 

“Wow, just what I needed!”, Bunny played along, “no wonder it was so heavy, maybe you should put it down...”

Bunny took Roman’s hand and led him to the couch. He stood by the side as she got on her knees, resting her elbows on the arm of the loveseat, facing him. She carefully took off the box, freeing his member and taking it in her hands. Roman undid the buttons of his pants and let them fall down while Bunny took the tip of his length into her mouth. Roman pushed her hair out of her face and gripped it at the back of her head, nudging her head to take more of him in. She obeyed and slowly took more and more of him in until she was at the base, Roman let out a soft groan and leaned over to pull her top down to expose her chest. He licked his thumb and forefinger before reaching down and playing with her nipples. 

Bunny continued to increase her pace until she felt Roman beginning to twitch inside her. She let him fall out of her mouth and got up to give him a kiss. She felt his tongue battle against hers as their bodies pushed against eachother. 

Bunny ran her hands down from Roman’s neck to the collar of his shirt and tugged at the buttons until they ripped off. Roman slid his hands down her body, stopping to grip her bunched up top and dragging it down over her ass. Once he let the fabric go, he cupped Bunny’s ass in his hands and lifted her so that her legs were wrapped around him. 

The fabric of her tights on his bare cock hardened him further and when the pair broke apart, he set bunny down on her feet and quickly removed the rest of her clothing so that they were both naked.

Bunny went back to the couch, this time sitting on it normally and widened her legs. Roman licked his lips and knelt down, putting a hand on each of her knees. 

He spread her legs even further and pushed her back before bringing his plump lips to her core. He teased her at first, nipping at her thighs and licking her all over, except for her clit. He knew how crazy that drove her. When he heard her let out a little whine, he smirked to himself before giving her clit his full attention. Bunny arched her back and tried to move her thighs together but Roman’s firm grip stopped her from being able to interrupt his work. Roman felt her walls begin to tighten around his fingers and, just as she did to him, stopped his actions. 

They both had a hate-love relationship with edging eachother. On one hand, being so close to your climax and then not reaching it was almost unbearable however, they knew that the sex to come would be 10 times more wild. 

Almost like she could read his mind, Bunny flipped herself over on the couch so that she was again on her knees but this time her upper body leant against the back of it. 

Roman ran his member across her slit, coating it in her juices before sliding it inside her. He took full control of Bunny’s hips and made achingly slow movements. He began to quicken his pace and it wasn’t long before he was bottoming out inside of her. They were both moaning fairly loudly. Roman ran one of his hands down from her ass to her clit and played with it while he fucked her. It wasn’t long before he once again felt her walls constrict around him but this time he let her reach her high. He followed not long after and rested on top of her. 

When they were finished, bunny made sure to pick up their clothes and head upstairs. Roman, who had followed her into their room, lay on their bed while she went into the closet. Roman assumed that she was putting the laundry away or something since she was in there for a while but was pleasantly surprised when she came back out in... this

“So, I guess we had the same idea ...”, Bunny said as she posed in the doorway, showing off her little outfit. She looked at him over her shoulder and asked, “You ready to open your gift?”

[plush-anon]

You worked at joanns? 😍 dream job

In all fairness, a large part (and I do mean a LARGE part) of why I enjoyed working at Joanns were the managers.

The store manager was a guy named Richard, one of maybe two or three men who worked there total, and this man was practically a saint as far as retail goes.

This was a man who would, with no hesitation, get on the floor to help customers, or hop on the registers to check customers' purchases out, or pop on to the cutting counter to cut fabric. He remembered the names of regulars, would chat and smile while getting shit done, and was the type of guy to speak slowly and softly when we had shitstains explode at us measly peons for not giving them the full cost of an item back in a return (ex $200) when they used a coupon to purchase an item to begin with and only paid a portion of the cost (ex. $150). No joke, this actually happened to me on Black Friday with a man who stood at about 6 foot with a crewcut and a snarl (the military Karen, if you would)

Richard, of course, stood at about 6 foot 5 inches, and reminded me of a ginger grizzly bear in some ways. Very few customers continued to be assholes when they asked to speak to the manager and Richard came over, smiling wide. He encouraged us to chat with the customers while we worked the cutting counter - it was a good way to learn about what they were making, encouraged general conversation and lent itself to a better environment for everyone, worker and customer alike, so we weren't just awkwardly standing in silence the whole time.

The assistant store manager (aka his second in command - we had two other assistant managers, but she wielded more power than both of them) was Farrah, and she was basically Cool Wine Aunt, but with weed. She was open about smoking it (but not in a pressure-the-underlings kind of way, but more of a 'yeah, it calms me down' kind of way) but never on the clock, and was just really chill in general. She was also a 'jump on the registers' type of manager, and on occasion would take the closing staff out to get a drink from the texmex place next to us in the shopping center, and cover one for each of us - particularly during the Holiday Clusterfuck of October, November, and December (their Frozen Kahlua Mudlslide was my alcoholic drink of choice - they also had these spicy chicken strips that were amazing with it, but I digress).

Both of them were amazing people who would support and back us up without hesitation (if they weren't dealing with corporate or stock trucks coming in), and both routinely worked 15 to 20 hours UNPAID overtime during the Holiday Clusterfuck so that we the underlings could get more hours without Corporate jumping up our ass about going over budget.

They were also refreshingly upfront in our monthly meetings about profits and meeting them, as well as why company policy was the way it was, and how to work within the boundaries so we got more hours. One of my favorite moments was when they said the fabric sales essentially covered their own cost (production and delivery); the rest of the cheap crap in the store was what covered our paycheck and electricity, so hawk it as much as you can if you want extra in the bank (paraphrasing here, but that's not that far off what they actually said tbh).

With some Karen-y exceptions, the customers were honestly pretty chill. There were two women from a nearby church who bought well over 200 yards of cut fleece to make no-sew fleece blankets for children and the poor in December (it took forever to do, but they were so cheerful about it and told some funny anecdotes in between, kept the counter clear as soon as they were cut, etc. Took them three carts to haul everything to the register XD).

There was the slew of quilters making everything from baby blankets to anniversary gifts to quilts for their grandkids attending the local university that they could wear to football games in the colder weather, while still showing team pride. They always bought quarters and eighths and the end of the bolt for half price, digging thru our remnants bin for something they might have missed they could get for half price. They always talked about what they were working on, and spoke in great detail on their kids or cousins or niblings or grandkids. I saw so many pictures on phones, in wallets, and they loved them to absolute pieces.

There were cosplayers making their first costume to comicon, halloween goers trying their hand at making their own outfits, and a few furries making custom suits for order or just updating their own personal outfit. There were the usual school and church Christmas plays that needed costumes, and folks making custom table runners and place settings for family holiday meals.

One notable young man bought out 30+ yards of our 65" inch wide bolt felt for JEWELRY projects he was making as a part of his business and as a part of his art program (you can major in art with a concentration in jewelry making, and he was using it for that). He didn't leave a card, but the pictures he showed us were STUNNING.

We had a few elderly mothers come in with their daughters, to pick out fabrics so they could make their own wedding dresses, or quinceanera outfits, or veils; they showed us the patterns they had, or the pictures they were basing the designs off of, and all of them were STUNNING. (One came back in with the finished dress in the bag, this intricately beaded poofy dress that had to have taken days, hot pink and shiny).

We had local restaurant owners pop in for re-upholstery projects and curtains and vinyl; same with teachers and deck dads and furniture restoration workers that would gush about the design, what they had planned. Some would bicker with their spouses on the pattern, but it felt good-natured on the whole.

We had some elderly men come in to peer over our sewing machines - "How much it run for? My wife's birthday is coming up and her old machine's about done, and I want to surprise her. She had a Singer, but she hates the electronic screens on some of these newer ones, they hurt her eyes." - and moms coming in to sew some custom bed sheets for their kids - "My son really likes the new My Little Pony show, but he's a little shy about it. Do you think the blue's okay? Only he like yellow more, but they don't have any back there and he doesn't MIND blue really but - Actually scratch that, how wide is the fabric? My pattern says it needs to be at LEAST 22 inches wide, does it say on the box?" - and people coming up with some WILD craft ideas that were always a delight to hear them gush about - "So this MAY seem crazy, but I can turn these plastic pumpkin trick-or-treat pails into SNOWMEN heads with felt like this. We fill them with treats for the kids since we don't have a fireplace and they like it fine, but someone said I should sell these on Etsy and people really like them! But I've run out of pumpkins, and you have NO idea how happy I am that you guys still have some left."

The group we had to work with was also pretty crafty; a few were chronic call-outs, some a bit lazy, some perpetually done-with-this-nonsense, but we were mostly on the same page on shift, and all of us were crafty as heck. The employee discount was a blessing AND a curse, lemme tell you.

Stock was the best part, for me. Hours before the store opened at 9 AM, we would rip open the boxes and stuff everything onto the shelves, organizing anything the closing shift missed the night before along the way, updating new stickers or shuffling pegs over for new product arrangement, etc. We could listen to music or podcasts as we worked, and I ended up impressing some of them bc of how fast I tore through everything some mornings (the music definitely helped out there).

I was actually about to be promoted to assistant manager after 6 months, but then I got my job with the university, and they had federal health benefits AND dental, so... yeah, no contest there. Richard actually laughed when I told him I'd been hired at the university and was giving my two week notice, since it meant he didn't have to do the slew of paperwork that accompanied new assistant manager hires. He congratulated me on the job, especially the health benefits - he said that was a perk worth leaving any job here for. I nearly cried with relief that he wasn't mad.

He and Farrah chipped in and got me a small music box that plays Man of La Mancha's Dream the Impossible Dream on my last day. It still sits on my desk at work.

It was honestly my favorite retail job out of the bunch I've suffered through. Surprising at first, since I initially received a rejection email bare HOURS after my interview with Farrah, but about a month later (as I trawled endlessly through interview after interview, desperate for anything those first few months ), I got a call back from them asking if I was still interested (which I was, bc hey a job!). They remembered me specifically bc I had missed my bus to the interview, called ahead to let them know I would be late, then walked the whole way there in the rain to get there. (It was only about a mile and a half away, so not a terrible journey, but flooding is an issue in our flat-ass city; I looked like a drenched afghan hound holding a useless umbrella, so enjoy that imagery).

They were particularly impressed by the calling-ahead part.

Unfortunately, both of them ended up moving on to different paths over the year after I left - apparently they had been friends with benefits (? I say hesitantly, since I ran into one of my coworkers at an art show later on and she spilled the beans there - she was a bit flighty in nature though, and got caught up in gossip a LOT, so who knows. Lovely brocade custom projects though), and his ex girlfriend had called corporate on them and got both fired.

I think Farrah came back some time later, but the damage was done after that - the new manager came in and operated SOLELY to corporate policy. A LOT went to pieces in terms of store cleanliness, order, and general camaraderie after that - the new fabric counter folks look and sound dead inside, and barely interact with customers (not even a 'whatcha making' in passing, which is kind of sad - the stories I got helped to pass the time, and kept me from using up all of my Set Conversation Phrases for customers that actually WOULD leave us standing in silence). Corporate also stopped some of the smaller store policies that made our job easier and gave the customers a little something extra (the 'end-of-the-bolt' discount - if, after the customer orders say, 2 yards of fabric on the bolt, and there's say, a half yard "remnant" left on the bolt, we can sell them the remnant for half-price. A LOT of quilters LOVED this, and we did too, since it saved us from filling out the remnant tag and printing a sticker later on).

Just goes to show how important good management is in a business; especially when it can kick a store previously part of the top 50 stores in the NATION (while being a medium store at that - smaller place, NOT Hobby Lobby size like the Large stores) to something much less pleasant. I could be rose-goggling the situation thought - retail is still retail, no matter how nice some aspects are - but it still sticks with me as to how good he experience was even taking into account that it WAS minimum wage retail.

Food for thought, lads, food for thought.

[petersasteria]

My Angel - Tom Holland

Pairing: Tom x Osterfield!Reader

Requested? Yes! By @petersholland​​​​

Hamilrequest #37

“I may not live to see our glory...”

Since you’ve been gone, Tom has been struggling to be the perfect single father out there. He claimed that he didn’t need any help even though everyone can see that he needed it. Tom wanted to figure things out for himself and while that’s great, he knew it was okay to ask help from time to time. Although he knew this, he still refused to ask for help.

Your two children have been Tom’s top priority and it was hard for him to be a single father and an actor at the same time. Your youngest, Khalil, started kindergarten and your eldest, Megan, started year 3 and Tom didn’t want to ruin that especially when she told him that she loved every single second of school.

Today was one of those days where Tom felt like shit, because he missed Megan’s talent show and he accidentally threw Khalil’s ‘gift’ for him (which was just crumpled tinfoil covered in glue and blue glitter). He honestly didn’t know what to do, because you weren’t there to help him.

“Fuck deadly illnesses.” he said to himself out loud.

Tom couldn’t sleep so, he decided it’d be the best time to finally store away your things in the boxes he bought and labeled two months ago. He didn’t have the heart to put away your things before, because he knew he would break down as soon as he would open your closet.

Tom stood up from his desk and walked to the corner of the room where the boxes were stacked. He took the top one that was labelled “TO KEEP” in bold letters.

He set the box on the floor at his side of the bed. He walked to the closet and opened it with a heavy sigh. He took all of your clothes that were hung and threw them on the bed. Next, he grabbed your folded shirts and put them on the bed as well. He went back to close the closet but he stopped when he found a notebook that he’s never seen before. He took it and closed the closet.

He sat on the bed opened the notebook and read the first page: Y/N’s Thoughts.

He chuckled and flipped to the next page.

Note to self: Use this notebook to write down important stuff. It’s like a diary, but at the same time it isn’t. This might come in handy for marriage and parenting x

“Maybe she got this when we were engaged.” Tom said to himself as he flipped through every page. He found little anecdotes and a few marriage tips that you thought would help. He also found the recipe to his favorite dish and he remembered the time you cooked it for him.

He also found what you wrote after Megan was born. 

Note to self: Omg Tom and I are officially parents! This means it’s time to lose sleep. Tom and I got this under control, though. We have each other ALWAYS. Haz wished us luck and honestly? We’re going to need that. Charlotte was really happy that it was a girl, because it meant she won the bet between her and Haz. Can’t believe those two made a bet, but I love them. Future Y/N, make sure you do the same when they have kids x

Tom read this and didn’t try to hold back his tears. He flipped through more pages and he eventually reached the time Khalil was born. 

Note to self: Tom and I are parents again! Being a parent is tiring and draining, but I love it. I don’t know if Tom loves being a parent, but I think he does. He’s a great father and I have no doubt that he’ll be a great father to our son x

Tom smiled at that. There were times when he would doubt himself, but you would always be there to assure him that he’s doing an amazing job as a husband and father. It just hurts that you wouldn’t be there to remind him that anymore.

Tom flipped through more until he reached a letter addressed to him.

Dearest Tom,

By the time you read this letter, you know that I’m gone. We both know that I wouldn’t live that long as soon as we found out that I was sick. I just want to say thank you for keeping me happy especially on my final days when I felt that I was going to go already. 

You’re the best husband I could ever ask for. Seriously. I know you have your doubts, but please keep in mind that you’re the best husband and father. I will forever keep that on my mind and heart. The kids and I are so lucky to have you. Now that I’m gone, I trust you to take care of the kids.

I want you to raise them like we planned. Although I won’t be around to see them for all their successes and first milestones, I trust that you do whatever it is that’s good for them and will continue on doing so until they’re old enough to stand on their own.

This notebook can help you through anything and everything. There are some recipes here for you and the kids. There are also tips. 

Khalil hates broccoli. Slice the broccoli into tiny tiny pieces and put it in his food. Trust me. He won’t notice a thing. Keep it a secret between you and me, okay? Make sure he finishes his food, because we both know he doesn’t finish his food. Read him bedtime stories. If you go to the back part of this notebook, I made a schedule of his bedtime stories of what you should read on a specific day.

Megan loves going to the playground every Saturday morning. Take her there for at least an hour and a half. Watch her closely, okay? One time she pulled another girl’s hair when she didn’t get her turn at the swing. So please watch her. After that, take her out for ice cream. Her favorite ice cream flavor is strawberry. 

Keep Taco Tuesday alive, Tom. Cut up some fruits and pack it in their lunch. They love it. I suggest you cut up the fruits before you go to bed and put them in a Tupperware and put it in the fridge.

Tom, just because I left doesn’t mean that I want to. When it’s time to go, it’s time to go. Please know that if I live long, I’d spend it with all of you. But even if my time on Earth was cut short, I believe that even if without me by your side, the three of you will be able to withstand all the problems our family will face. I know you’re strong. I know you can push through anything, Spidey.

Always remember that you’re not alone. I will always be here in every decision you’ll make. From the moment I said my vows, I put my faith and trust into  whatever it is that’s good for your family and for our marriage.

I pray that the Lord will always guide you and keep you out of harm’s way. I also pray that you won’t forget that you live for our children now. You’re the anchor that keeps them steady.

Just because I’m gone doesn’t mean that my love for you is gone too. Don’t ever forget how much I love you. If you need a reminder of how much I love you, I kept my diary from before we started dating. It’s around the house somewhere. My embarrassing diary entries are written there about how much I love you and how much I freaked out when you asked me out when we were 17.

If you ever find someone that makes you and our children happy, go for it. You have my blessing. I’m not sure if I’m okay with it. Maybe I’ll be jealous or not. Depends HAHAHA! All jokes aside, I love you enough to let you be with someone new who makes you happy.

I will always love you and I only want what’s best for you and the kids. 

‘Til we meet again, love.

Forever yours, Y/N xx

-

The very next day, Tom went to visit your grave after taking the kids to school. He had your notebook with him when he got out of the car. He walked to your grave and sat in front of it in silence. He hasn’t been visiting, because of the pain. He saw a bouquet of fresh flowers and smiled.

“Harrison visited you, I see. You know, he misses you so much. He actually visited us last week. He said he missed the kids so he took them to the zoo.” Tom said.

“So, um, I know you’re listening. I found your notebook last night and it really helped me. Everything has been shit recently and your letter really helped me. I also did the fruits thing after reading your letter last night. It really saved some time this morning. No wonder you sleep late.” Tom chuckled.

“I just came here to tell you that I won’t let you down and I’ll do my best to be a single dad to our kids. Also, the dating someone new thing? I don’t think I’m going to be up for that. You and the kids are enough for me and I meant what I said when I told you that you’re the only one for me.”

“I really miss you, Y/N. The letter made me realize that it’s totally okay to move on, because I know you’ll be here by my side. It’s also reassuring that you still love me, because that’s enough for me to be strong.”

Tom stood up and brushed the dirt off his pants, “When we first started dating, I told you that you were my angel. You really are my angel, Y/N. Between you and me, you’re the real hero. I just play one.”

“I’ll see you soon, yeah? I promised your brother I’ll meet up with him at the park today to walk Tessa and Monty.” Tom smiled. “I love you.”

He walked back to the car and felt a gust of wind blow in his direction. He didn’t know if he was hallucinating or not, but he could’ve sworn he felt the wind embrace him and he could’ve sworn he smelled your perfume. It caused him to stop in his tracks and close his eyes to feel the moment that only lasted a few seconds, but to him it felt like minutes.

When it was gone, he opened his eyes and smiled to himself, because he knew it was you telling him and showing him that you loved him.

* * * *

this took me two days to write bc i wasn’t in the right state of mind to write some angst yesterday and yes, this was supposed to be out yesterday sksks

𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @abrielleholland​​​​​​​ @peachmaybnx​​​​​​​ @superheroesaremytea​​​​​​​ @ella-whyte

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​​​​​​​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​​​​​​​ @rubberducky-jrr​​​​​​​ @petersholland​​​​​ @osterfieldnholland​​​​​ @miraclesoflove​

[lesbian-deadpool]

A Fresh Start

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 2,074

Warnings: Endgame (dw tho)... crying, sarcasm, swearing... the usual really lol.

Request: For @mythsandfiction for donating to the Australia bushfires. You asked for fluffy moving in... I made this. I really hope you like it :)

Summary: You deserve this.

A/N: Set after Endgame (no one died, bc I said so). I know you wanted fluff, and there is fluff, but there’s also some “soft-angst”. Not proofread. I don’t consider this to be my best work, just an FYI.

(Not my GIF)

***

The war was over.

You won.

You really won.

It was kinda hard to believe. Considering how many times you had run through the battle at Wakanda, during the past five years. Tony, his Spider-Kid, and the wizard guy in space, with the Guardians, that you were yet to meet. The ones you never thought you would. Hell, you were yet to meet the kid or the wizard. Still. That didn’t stop you from feeling the loss for them.

The loss for half of your team, if not more.

Sam.

Bucky.

Wanda.

T’Challa.

Shuri.

They all vanished. Turned to dust- Ash. Right in front of your eyes.

And it was all because of that purple fucking giant, Thanos.

You were there that day.

That day, you were finally there. And that's what you got for it. Watching, from your place, beside Natasha, literally rooted to the ground, as he snapped his fat fingers, and the world around you disappeared.

You hadn’t been there for when Ultron had risen.

Nor for the so-called Civil War.

But for this. This, you were able to see. Only helping to solidify your assumptions that the world liked to fuck with you.

The next five years passed as slow as they had when you were a child.

Steve left. As did Bruce, Tony, Thor, and Clint was nowhere to be found.

I mean, you couldn’t really blame them for leaving. There were times that you wish you could just up and leave, to start anew. But you never did. You stayed at the compound with Natasha. There wasn’t a chance in hell, or high water, that you would leave her. You couldn’t even bare the thought of Natasha being left all alone in the large compound, with the only thing left to keep her company being her thoughts.

So you stayed.

You stayed by her side for five painfully long years.

However, along the way, you and Natasha got closer.

You weren’t really all that close before, I mean you we’re friendly sure, but you never sought each other out, the way you did with the other Avengers.

Natasha preferring to spend her time with Clint, Steve, Wanda, and now and again Tony.

And you, choosing to hang out with Tony, and Thor, more so than anyone else.

Most of the time, you wanted to kick yourself for not seeking Natasha out more than you did before- Or at all. You liked spending time with her. She was fun, even in her depressed and overworked state, so it was only left to your imagination to what she was like before Thanos.

It had been a whole year since the battle at Wakanda when everything changed.

You had walked in on Natasha in her office, which was really just the dining room, that she had commandeered for her workspace, with a bottle of strong liquor in hand. She had been crying before you entered, you could tell that much by her red and puffy eyes.

Giving her a tight-lipped smile, you started to drink the remainder of the day away. You might have had a bit too much to drink... okay, you had a lot too much to drink. Because the next morning you woke up to a blinding headache and a naked Natasha beside you in bed. It didn't take a detective to figure out what had happened the night before.

Your relationship progressed over the next four years. From a friends-with-benefits type of situation. To spending every night with each other, not even having sex. Natasha had told you she had fallen in love with you, a little over two years after the snap, as the media liked to call it. You, of course, were surprised but had returned her confession. Who wouldn’t have fallen for the red-head? By the time of the ‘Time Heist’, you were in a long-term committed relationship.

There had been some trial and errors throughout the heist.

Losing the Tesseract. Steve kicking his own ass. Having to re-work a part of the plan, and travelling to the 1970s. Thor having a crisis. Nebula having her memories stolen. Natasha...

When you found about Natasha, you had no reaction. Everyone around you was crying, sobbing. They at least had a tear in their eye. But you? There was nothing. Pulling yourself from Clint's grip, and walking away.

No one knew where you had gone, as they were left to reverse the snap on their own. Only coming back to fight against Thanos for the final time.

You definitely didn’t leave to go drink and cry over the ring you had bought.

Yeah, that's exactly what you did.

The battle was the first thing that had moved fast for the past five years. It was over in no time. This time Thanos had vanished before your eyes, along with his army.

You were in Tony’s lab with him, after his “funeral”, talking about the prosthetic arm he was making for himself when it happened.

Peter -the Spider-Kid- had burst through the doors, gasping for air and pointing behind himself.

“Jesus kid, you almost gave us a heart attack,” Tony said, holding a hand against his chest, “What’s up? What’s got you so bent outta shape?”

“Mr Rogers... he... stones... back... old...” he said panting, “Miss... Romanoff-”

“Natasha? What about her?” You jumped up, as you felt the anxiety flowing through you like tidal waves at this point. Patiently waiting for Peter to finish what he was saying, with bated breath. But, he never got the chance. As the moment he opened his mouth, to continue speaking, he was interrupted, once again.

“Y/N?!” A voice you would recognise anywhere, called down from the top of the stairs.

“Natasha?!”

You rushed over to where you could see her, with tears trailing down her face, yours falling to match.

One second you were peering up at Natasha from the base of the stairs, and then suddenly you were enveloping her in a tight hug. One that she returned ten-fold, crying into your shoulder, as your own tears dropped into her soft hair.

“Marry me,” you said in a tearful voice.

“What?”

“Marry me? Please?” You reached for the chain hanging around your neck, tugging it harshly, causing the clasp to snap. Letting the chain fall to the ground, you offered Natasha the diamond ring.

More tears ran down her cheeks as she nodded. “Yes.”

Her lips tasted of salt. Yours were probably the same. But it was no less as sweet as the kiss you shared when you first confessed your love for one another.

Soft whimpers are what pulled you apart.

Looking to the side, you saw Tony and Peter crying beside each other. Peter, the whimpering one, dabbing at his eyes with the sleeves of his t-shirt.

“You had that hanging around your neck?” Tony asked, with tears in his eyes, as the kid bubbled beside him, now using Tony’s shirt to wipe his eyes.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “I’ve had it on me for months now. And I put in on the chain when...” you trailed off, not wanting to finish your sentence. But everyone understanding you anyway.

It’s true, you had charged into the final battle, with the ring hanging around your neck. Keeping it as close to your heart as it could possibly get. With it being one of the last things you had of Natasha, even if she never got so see it, hold it, wear it, say yes, thanks to the compound being destroyed. You wanted- Needed something that reminded you of her.

You had agreed later that night, that you were both going to retire, and finally, live the life you two always wanted together. You had saved the world, too many times to count. Brought everyone back. And saved the universe while you were at it. You both considered that to be enough for you to live peacefully, for the rest of your lives.

After all! If Tony Stark could do it. Why couldn’t you two?

***

“Hey, guys!” Peter called, walking onto the house, carrying two boxes stacked on top of each other, blocking his view as they towered over him. “Where do you want these?”

“Well, what do they say on them?” You asked.

“Umm... ‘bedroom’!”

“Then it goes in the kitchen, where the fuck- Ow!” Your sarcastic quip was cut off thanks to Natasha punching you in your arm.

You rubbed your throbbing arm as you watched Natasha walk up to Peter and taking a box from him so that he was able to see where he was going.

“Come on, I’ll show you where it is,” she said, leading him out of the room, “Then you can pick out your room.”

“I get a room?”

“Of course you get a room.”

“Thank for helping up, Petie!” you yelled to him.

“Welcome!”

“Oh yeah, he gets a thank you, but what do I get?” Tony muttered entering your house, a box in his own arms.

“Well, I was about to thank you, too. But now that you’ve said that. I won't.”

Tony whined at you as you walked away, to start fixing up some lunch for everyone. Making you smile at his childish antics.

***

“I still can’t believe the way you proposed to me,” Natasha spoke from the other side of the room, that you were both busy painting.

“Well, give me the ring back, and I’ll do it again differently.” You beamed over to her, noticing the yellow paint smudged against her face and arms. Yellow wasn’t yours or Natasha’s style, but it was for the guest bedroom, and you both wanted that to be a bright place. So, yellow it was.

“No,” Natasha said hastily, pulling her left hand up to her chest, and covering it with her other hand.

You let out a small laugh. “See. I knew you loved the way I asked you to marry me.”

“I’d love any way you’d propose to me because it’s you doing it.”

“Soft.”

“Shut up.” She smiled, picking up her discarded paintbrush again, and throwing it at you.

A large splodge of thick yellow paint spread across the upper part of your t-shirt. Spots flecking across your neck, jaw and shoulder.

A gobsmacked look overtook your face. Slowly, you turned to peer at your red-headed fiance.

“Oh, you wanna play that game, do you?”

“Yes.” Natasha nodded. “Because I know I’d win.”

“Well, we’ll just have to see about that.”

***

“See, told you I was right,” Natasha smirked over at you in the shower.

“That’s ‘cause you fight dirty.”

And she did.

Once the paint had run out, and the room was covered in the stuff, and not just the walls like you needed. The majority of the paint had coated the floors, luckily, you still had to put down the white carpet. Natasha ran out of the room, in search for more ammunition. Flour, shaving foam, whipped cream, water, and even milk, covered you. Before you and Natasha hopped into the shower together.

“It’s not dirty if you win,” Natasha replied, as she scrubbed her hair.

“No. It is dirty. But you still won.”

“That is the perfect description of me,” Natasha joked, causing you to burst out laughing, at the accuracy of it.

“Yeah.” You nodded. “You’re right there.”

***

The first night in your new house sure was something. Nothing “spectacular” happened. It was nothing but calm.

After your shared shower, you cooked dinner together. Well, mainly you, because Natasha couldn't cook for shit. As the red-head kept you company and occasionally stirred the pot of pasta.

It was later that night, when you were laying in bed, Natasha curled up by your side, with her head upon your chest, as the tv played in the background when Natasha spoke.

“We needed this.”

“What?” you asked rubbing your hand along her arm, “An early night?”

“Early?” Natasha asked in return, leaning up to look at you like you had grown another head. She was right, it was currently one A.M.. Fixing up the house really was long and hard work.

“-er, than we have in the past week,” you corrected yourself, before shaking your head, then getting back on track, “But what did you mean?”

“I meant this. Retirement. A house. A fresh start.”

You smiled as Natasha got comfortable on your chest once again.

“Yeah... we did need this.”

[samdukewieland]

Stuck Inside Media Diary Week 2

New week. New movies I had never seen before. Only one was on the DVR so now it’s just like a glorified streaming guide and for that I apologize. There were three movies this week that I had seen before, but I’ve decided, because rules are important, that I won’t re-watch a movie until I watch a new one. Does this matter? No. But it has made me realize that I might be exposing my ass in the upcoming weeks, because we all lie about saying we’ve seen some movies when we actually haven’t. Not the case for this week, but it’s impending.

Sunday, March 29

Warrior, O’Conner 2011 [as of now this is available on Amazon Prime]

As a person who doesn’t really care about MMA or UFC or boxing or bum fights or bare knuckle brawls I went in under the impression that there’d probably be some kind of barrier in my way of enjoying it, despite knowing its esteemed reputation for being man-weep canon. Any movie that opens and closes with a song by The National is fairly transparent about the type of movie its going to be, despite having an extremely yolked Tom Hardy as one of the main characters. My first cry came at a very unexpected moment, especially because Frank Grillo had a significant role in making that happen (though I will say, I had no idea Frank Grillo was in this movie and about midway through I thought “man, that guy kinda looks like Grillo, but he’s kinda small and has a fashion mullet”). However, I’m a cryer, so I don’t want to set the expectation of you will cry at this you piece of shit! but you might and it’ll come out of a good place, because this movie doesn’t trick you into crying by manipulating you into it (okay, it does at one point, but it involves Moby Dick, so again, it’s kinda unexpected). It opens with “Start A War” and ends with “About Today,” a top 5 sad boy song by The National and I’ll be damned if I didn’t listen to it once a day all last week.

Better Call Saul 

“Sunk Costs”, “Sabrosito”, “Chicanery”, “Off Brand”, “Expanses”

John Getz hive, assemble.

Monday, March 30

Working Girl, Nichols 1988 [as of now this is available on HBO]

Sometime in college, I think in a detective fiction class I took, we talked about knowing a reference to something before knowing what it’s either paying homage to or directly referencing. For example: the first time I read The Long Halloween (which is a Batman comic by Jeph Loeb) I had no idea that basically everything involving Falcone is just ripped from The Godfather, because I had never seen The Godfather at that time in my life; literally the first page of the book is “I believe in Gotham City.” Or in Django Unchained when they go to Mississippi and the title card moves across the screen just like it does in Gone With The Wind (Tarantino movies are generally just long homages and references to other things, so if you need another example, just look to really anything he’s ever worked on). There’s probably a German word for this feeling of recognition and I just don’t have the energy to look to see what it would be, but I felt it while watching Working Girl in two regards. 

The first was that I didn’t realize that School Of Rock is essentially just Working Girl and when you have a realization like this, you feel kinda dumb, because you just assume everyone figured this out before you did. The second was that Joe Swanberg has tried to model his movies after Mike Nichols ones like his life depended on it and he just can’t or rather hasn’t. Also I’m not a person who was alive in the 80s and I’m sure there’s some modern day equivalent (potentially her daughter) who I defend out of some weird sense of contrarian obligation, but what’s uh, what’s going on with Melanie Griffith and her as actor?

Better Call Saul 

“Slip”, “Fall”, “Lantern” [Season 3 finale]

BCS season 3 really stepped up to the heights of Breaking Bad and I think I might like it just a little bit better than it? I haven’t watched Breaking Bad in long time, I find it pretty difficult to re-watch (it’s very fire works factory for me) so I’m sure there are some BB highs that I just don’t remember fully, but that BCS can juggle being three different shows all at the same time and do it excellently really has me taken aback. It’s like watching the Coen Brothers jump from genre to genre and not be worried about the end result.

Tuesday, March 31

Say Anything..., Crowe 1989 [as of now this is available on Hulu]

I’m unabashedly in the can for Cameron Crowe, which is a semi-embarrassing thing to admit, but whatever. I saw Aloha in theatres and watched We Bought A Zoo when it was on FX once (in real time too, so that means with commercials-this was also the only time I’ve seen We Bought A Zoo, but I think I’d do it again); you can’t hurt me. I think I kept my distance from Say Anything... for so long, because it was one of those things that I’d be annoyed at because it’d resonate with me too much, because feeling that is kinda hacky and embarrassing, but if there’s one thing that Cameron Crowe movies put an emphasis on of importance on, it’s being sincere. And I sincerely loved it (hot, HOT take). Thanks to Russillo for recommending it on Simmons’ podcast last week.

Better Call Saul

“Smoke” [Season 4 premiere]

Wednesday, April 1

The Graduate, Nichols 1967 [as of now this is available on Amazon Prime]

Sucks that this movie has been used by a certain type of dude who use it as a blueprint for their life and how they view relationships. Other than that, good job everyone. [I definitely thought it would be clever to watch this after watching Say Anything... because I just assumed Ben Braddock walked so Lloyd Dobbler could run-I was kinda right, whatever]

Hot Rod, Schaffer 2007

While April Fools Day means nothing to me I do try to watch a comedy on the day, because...eh, why not. Hot Rod is maybe a perfect comedy and I think I could spend hours talking about it. I don’t know how there hasn’t been some kind of programming that’s been done around The Lonely Island and their catalog, because it seems very obvious. 

Hot Rod with Digital Shorts played before and after and then Wayne’s World

MacGruber and you play MacGruber shorts before and after and then whatever grotesque 80′s action movie you’d want, maybe Commando

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping with Lonely Island music videos before and after and then This Is Spinal Tap

The Unauthorized Bash Brothers Experience sing-a-long followed by The Lonely Island pilot and  either a collection or the entirety of I Think You Should Leave

maybe this is all a lead-up to Palm Springs, a movie I have’t seen and know very little about other than they produced it and Samberg is in it

Thursday, April 2

The In-Laws, Hiller 1979

I wrote it as my letterboxd. “review” , but this thing’s 1979 funny until they go to South America and then it is actually funny. Falk is just gangbusters.

Better Call Saul 

“Breathe”, “Something Beautiful”

Friday, April 3

You Can Count On Me, Lonergan 2000 [as of now this is available on Amazon Prime]

I say this as a very big fan of his, but! Timothée Chalamet, consider yerself on notice for borrowing heavily from the Mark Ruffalo school of acting. Also, I get it now with Laura Linney, who I’ve liked before, but thought she might kind of be overrated by some people. Also, Matthew Broderick made this after Election (and also Inspector Gadget), so quite the infidelity streak for Brody, probably not a double feature.

Better Call Saul

“Talk”, “Quite A Ride”, “Piñata”

Saturday, April 4

De Palma, Baumbach & Paltrow, 2015 [as of now this is available on Netflix]

The definitive documentaries for the directors of this friend group are basically perfect in their own ways. That this is just De Palma talking about himself and his career and movies, sometimes being incredibly critical of his own work and others. He seems pretty self-aware, probably the most of that group of directors, while still coming across as incredibly cocky. De Palma is perfect for Brian De Palma. However, if anyone wanted to make a 10 hour documentary on Scorsese, Spielberg, Coppola, De Palma and Lucas in this style or it’s just the 5 of them interviewing each other moderated by like Fincher or someone, man....I could really go for that. (I mean if Michael Jordan can get one, why not these guys?)

The Other Director Documentaries

Spielberg, 2017 (HBO) [Interviews and retrospectives about Spielberg’s career, with personal highlights. It’s essentially Spielberg in a nutshell: big, flashy with a lot of time on particular moments that are more important to him than they are to you]

Empire Of Dreams, 2004 (Disney+) [Ostensively this is about Star Wars, and it’s made by a company-man, it says so much about Lucas, a man who hated how institutions told him what he could do so he unintentionally created one that has copied what he hates]

Heart Of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse, 1991 [A truly wild ride, tells you everything you need to know about Coppola]

Italianamerican, 1974 [While a new documentary about Scorsese is probably what I covet most, he’s a pretty open book about his controversies and he’d probably enjoy talking about other people’s work more than his own-catholicism’s a helluva thing]

The Godfather Pt. I & The Godfather Pt. II, Coppola 1972 & 1974

I don’t know if I necessarily endorse watching both of these back-to-back; I guess I’m glad I did it, even if the motivation was mainly to just see if I could. Obviously these movies are important and good and are about so much more than just gangsters and thugs, but a lot of the time it just feels like eating vegetables for me. I did not grow up in a household that emphasized the importance of The Godfather so maybe that’s part of it, but I’m definitely not as dismissive of these as I used to be (though part of that could be the mental Stockholm Syndrome Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan and Sean Fennessey have given me). Once I finished Pt. I, I felt like I could re-watch it; once I finished Pt. II I felt like my eyes were melting out of my head and onto my hands (this could be because I had just watched 377 minutes of a story). I will probably never do it again, unless it’s the weekend after Christmas and AMC is just going for it-at least then I’ll have intermissions every 20 or so minutes telling me to go shop at Target.

[athleisure-aesthetic]

This is a long post because I went on a few rants, but there are workouts and stuff in there, I promise ;) stay tuned for commentary on vanity sizing and non-scale victories!

April 13 Thursday’s workout was super speedy. Legs and a quick stretching NTC workout. I meant to do curtsy lunges to finish it out, but I was crunched for time and my legs were already burning from the seasaw lunges and step-ups because my bench was higher than a normal one would be. I always get kind of frustrated when my NTC workout ends up being a lowkey stretching one, because I use it to replace cardio for the day. I’m starting to think I should either do more than one or just do cardio anyway. At least I got in a nice half hour walk at lunch; it was much colder than I was expecting since the rest of this week has been so nice! Still pretty out tho. And my skull shirt is badass. The end.

Went to Whole Foods with Ani when I got home to get some goodies for the weekend, and really stuck to my list (which I was proud of, bc that store is a literal TRAP) which included chocolate milk as a post-workout fuel… ASK ME HOW HYPE I AM TO START DRINKING CHOCO MILK AGAIN!!! (very. obviously.) Also started growing a mini protein bar collection because now I’m terrified of not properly fueling post-workout, so now I’m going to have very little excuse not to, since these babies are extremely portable. Just throw one in ya workout bag, and there you go. Don’t even have to remember to get it from my lunch box. I’m finally trying RXBAR and a few Quest Bar flavors (shoutout to @runningwhilenotdying for the suggestion, ty girl!) for now, in addition to the Luna Protein bars I still have. Still going to have to try a few to find out which works best for me.

Legs / butt workout 3x each 15 reps weighted glute bridges, 10# 15 reps goblet squats, 10# 20 reps step ups, alt. sides, 10# 20 reps seasaw lunges, alt. sides 15 reps weighted lying leg curls, 6# 40 s wall sits 10 reps burpee + high jump alternating leg swing stretches instead of curtsy lunges bc I’m a wimpy bitch lol

Listening to: “Under You” by Nick Jonas

April 14 Today is the day John Mayer’s full album is out, something I realized halfway through Friday morning while working from home, so I blasted the FUCK out of it in my apartment and haven’t stopped listening since. Ani took the day off, so it was just me at home designing, which is literally what I wish every work day of my life could be. Making my own schedule, eating and working out whenever I want and not having to worry about when I’m going to finish, not having to talk to people lol.

I decided to workout around 11ish and had to do arms / upper body without weights, which was a bit challenging considering my weak wrists and lack of free weights. BUT I made it, and my wrists weren’t ded afterwards, so I guess I’m building up some strength? Plus check out my schweaty knees, aren’t they purty? It was a dec workout, so hype it. HOWEVER, in the middle of my last set, this awful ringing started in my apartment, which I identified as the fire alarm after panicking for like 2 seconds. Then there was this weirdo announcement in our hallway as if we were in a damn dorm, saying to evacuate asap so I was like o fuck ok let me get my things. Ran outside with my purse and a jacket, ran into the woman who legit hates me and Ani for being loud on the weekend two whole times (fuck her tho it was a Friday and Saturday at like 11pm get your panties out of your ass amirite) and she was like idk what’s going on I’m probably not going downstairs. I was like ????? um if there’s a fire I’m not dying so bye. So I ran down 8 flights of stairs to find no one in the lobby. Sick. It was a false. Alarm. Bc they’re doing construction right in front of the elevators. Motherfuckers. So I had to go back up 8 flights of stairs once I got the approval from the doorman. Thx for the cardio break, how’d you know I needed that? 🙄 Finished my set, worked for a bit longer, then showered and decided I was done working for the day lol.

It was pay day and I was bored so I kinda went a little nuts on a shopping trip. As usual, I mostly bought athleisure, buuuuuuuuuuut there are some significant things about this shopping trip that I must share.

1: I willingly purchased two pairs of athletic shorts. I do not wear anything but leggings to workout in, because I hate the way my legs look, and I usually feel much more mobile and flexible in leggings, even if it’s like 90 degrees out and July. But I tried on two pairs of black shorts, and could actually see myself not only wearing them like to bed, but like… doing active things in them, and being ok with seeing my legs. First #NONSCALEVICTORY o the day.

2: I not only willingly tried on a one piece bathing suit, I tried on two, AND I purchased one. Every person alive knows too well the personal torture of trying on bathing suits, especially in dressing rooms that have awful fluorescent lighting that does not flatter anyone. But for some reason I was in a good mood about my bod (perhaps after the shorts win), so I grabbed two suits and said to myself, fuck it, don’t feel bad about yourself, but do not get your hopes up. This could go great, or it could not. Don’t let this be a reflection of how hard you’ve been working. It might just not fit, that’s not your fault. BUT THEY BOTH FIT REALLY DECENTLY OK. The one was like bright red and v scandalous and tbh I did not have the boobs to fill out that sucker. So despite it fitting ok, I couldn’t go with it. But the other was stripey and rouchey and pretty comfortable, so I was like welp. I need at least one suit for the summer, and can’t picture myself using any of the ones from last summer, and I don’t feel like total crap in this. So. I bought it!

3: I purchased at least one thing of every size (S, M, L, and XL), which proves that sizing is fake and literally doesn’t fucking matter. I like all my tops a little baggy and all of my bottoms tight (except those shorts I ended up getting, but who knew I would even buy shorts…). That’s just my personal preference style-wise. I went to four different stores, and ended up getting clothing that fit me, but when I was ripping the tags off when I got home, I noticed that all the sizes were different. I bought a shirt from Uniqlo (AMAZING STORE, btw, never been before today) that was a size small, which is something I haven’t done in like literally maybe 7-8 years. I also bought a cropped sweatshirt from Marshall’s in XL, even though I thought it was a large when I bought it. Either way, it’s not like my body morphed mid-shopping trip. I was the same size all day, but the stores decided I was all over the place. This just makes me a, hate the fashion industry for forcing this imaginary 00 system and ideals of size-shaming on us, but also b, feel better about myself because I know that I can’t be reliant on just being one size. I used to think of my weightloss in terms of pants sizes. Like last Friday when I was wearing actual pants, they were 12s. But like. A 12 at one store could be a 16 at another, or an 8. I used to say, oh I just want to be down to a consistent 8. That would be the perfect amount of weight to lose. If I get there, I’ll know that I’m good. But I’m really starting to see that that number and that size doesn’t exist. There is no universe in which an 8 at every store will fit the same. So judging yourself on a system that’s literally impossible to fit into is just a recipe for hurt and shame. So now I’m just gonna grab any size that looks like it’ll fit. It’s still not fun to see a higher number, but that’s going to be a mindset I have to get myself out of, and this post is proof that it doesn’t matter. I want to base my happiness with my fitness on phyiscal progress: what I can DO with my body, not just how it looks in the clothes I inevitably have to wear. But today, for a few reasons, I felt really good, and I’m proud to have seen not only one, but a few non-scale wins. Hype it the FUCK up.

Whew. That was a lot, sorry. I almost feel like a doing a ~haul~ like I’m on some fashion youtube channel, I bought so many fun things. But whatever, I doubt anyone cares about that except me lolol.

Honestly sometimes I think I just like to buy some things because I’m happy they fit me, not because I need them or are in love with them. Is that weird? I feel like I’m a pretty specific shape (very short and curvy, but not curvy everywhere), so when I find something I actually think fits me, I usually just say, yeah I’ll wear this. I definitely am spending too much money that way, but it’s nice to feel like a lot of things are fitting me well for once.

Arms / upper body workout 3x each 20 reps shoulder taps, alt. sides 10 reps pushups 20 reps walk outs + twist, alt. sides 10 reps tricep dips 50 reps arm circles forward 50 reps arm circles backward 20 reps lat pull downs + shoulder squeeze 35s, 40s, 45s plank 10 reps decline push ups 10 reps burpee + high jump + 5 jumping jacks PLUS 8 flights of stairs when my fucking fire alarm went off and the elevator didn’t work 🙃

Listening to: “Burlesque” by Christina Aguilera OR the Voices in Your Head a cappella version, both are fun

April 15 I was hella nervous for my run today; 6 miles seemed like a lot to me, and after last week’s long run on the treadmill, it had been a while since I’d done a long one outside. The last time I finished a long run outside, I felt like death. So this time I wanted to be really prepared; I read some articles and youtube videos on how to run longer without like dying, and made sure to focus on my breathing and warmup. Once I left my apartment, I didn’t start my timed run for about 10ish minutes but still ran slow to get my legs ready. Then I did some of the moves from the videos, and set off. Today I went towards the art museum and Kelly Drive for the first time, which was definitely busy for a Saturday morning, but it was kinda gray out and mid-50s which is like perfect running weather. I felt really good for like literally the whole run, and I couldn’t tell if it was the new place, good music, or what, but I was surprised at how quickly the miles came and went. I stopped at 4.56 miles to take the picture in front of the art museum, walked briskly up the hill to the building, then ran the rest of the way on the rest of the Schuykill River Trail and back towards home. I finished a little ways away from home and was inspired by a boy who seemed to be blind or albino who was running with a small leash with a girl, and continued jogging all the way home. So I really totalled something like 7.10 miles and they felt GREAT which is INSANE for me. Like that’s so many miles. And I haven’t run that far in so long, and they actually felt GOOD??? Like who am I?

I rewarded myself with a cinnamon roll protein shake, a little more shopping (I ended up getting the black Nike Tanjuns for anyone who saw my post last night lol), and Chick-Fil-A nuggets for lunch. Was considering making this day a cheat day when I saw the Chick-Fil-A, but I was good and only got the nuggets. My resolve was tested when I saw a girl with a Rita’s cup right when I got home and I wanted to be like OMG GIRL WHERE IS THERE A RITA’s AROUND HERE???!??! But clearly I held myself back.

Guess that means more Easter chocolate for me tomorrow hayyyyyy

6.02 mi 10'20" min / mi

Listening to: “Hair” by Little Mix

[thegeminisage]

today’s zeldablogging which is full of spoilers:

the sight of my new sword sends a thrill into my heart tbh

if i ever replay this game, which tbh idk if i will, it's so Big, SS was only a third or a quarter of this size and i've only beaten it twice, im going to get it as soon as possible next time

anyway im back at the tower i suppose i'll crawl down and check out the enemies properly

i dont like gliding to towers i've discovered bc it feels like i've been plopped down into the middle of nowhere with no context

vs if i walk to them i know "where" i came from/am, if that makes any sense

(it doesn't)

i can see that flying thing closer than ever from here and it's DEFINITELY a divine beast no doubts left

yk tho. i dont WANNA check out the enemies. i wanna find that weird blanked out place at the top of my map!

haha i can feel it already

i'm so anxious to get to the end of the game and uncover the plot im gonna be like "FUCK EXPLORING" for the rest of it and only go to the places i need, now that i've got this map

i can always do more thorough exploration after, i've been spoiled that there's postgame content, but even if there's not like any other zelda game it'd put me right back before the final battle

god im having to go ALL THE WAY AROUND the lost woods i can't even glide over the nearby river to make the path shorter i bet there's an easier way to do this from the other side but i havent been there yet

ah, another forest covered in fog. black fog. how inviting.

ohhh, it's a shrine trial. wonderful. in the pitch blackness!

this is already worse than eventide

luckily i have the weird glowy skeleton suit i bought from the boy gerudo clothes store

i forgot to mention it bc i had no IDEA what it was for, but here we are

like. this has to be lmao

i keep dying in my first six steps what am i doing wrong??

oh, maybe bc i'm gliding in, i see a bridge on the map

ohhh god i hear a hinox...why, lord

haha im like.following the ways the statues point and. they're pointing at the hinox! wow!

lol when i realized the stone birds had torches on top i started over so i could light them all

OHHH I WOKE UP THE HINOX I DIDN'T EVEN GET A SURPRISE ATTACK IN

MASTER SWORD HELP ME

oh god this glowy armor has no defense!!

i'll just leave the helm on, then

oh thank fuck i used an atk+ elixir and it waasnt so bad

see, like, i COULD explore that upper ridge but thanks to the map i already know it's full of silver lynels. no thanks.

oh my god the yiga clan is RELENTLESS right here i guess bc i'm going around the back of (shudder) hyrule castle

oh!! a stable, thank goodness, i was starting to get wigged out

i guess all those people on the road had to have meant something

this isn't even on the map!!

oh wait lol yes it is

aww, i don't see beedle here...i was sure he'd be at everyone, i don't think i've encountered one where he isn't yet...

i'll be honest, i've grown kind of bored of combat

and know i'm biased but i genuinely i don't think it's me, i think it's the game's difficulty/"difficulty"

i used to see monster camps and think STRATEGY, is there a beehive, barrels to blow up, a place i can glide down from, this is so fun!

which gradually morphed into "okay this is gonna be a bit of a long haul but there'll be Treasure and sniping from afar is still fun"

idk if the black bokoblins/moblins/etc show up after you've done more things or bc of the area you're in but i'm noticing more enemies with more health, higher defense, and higher attack, and the barrels/metal boxes/beehives/etc becoming rarer, and when they do appear, being almost pointless to use because you're more likely to blow yourself up than do any real damage to the mobs

and like i love this game. it absolutely deserves every bit of its raid reviews, and this feeling COULD just be because i've been marathoning it for 12 straight days and i'm anxious to see the end and get back to my life

but to me, attacking a flat area full of black moblins and bokoblins isn't fun even with the stealth/snipe element bc you can't take them out in 1-3 shots, you have to stop and slash at them, and that alerts EVERYONE else, and it's just pointless

(lol i found some flat ruins by the stable which triggered this rant)

like, even the yiga clan hideout - my instinct was to snipe the enemies as i went, which would have made it a bit more fun imo, even though the stealth bit wasn't bad and i enjoyed that section quite a lot

i just don't like the—idk a better term for it unfortunately—"fake difficulty" thing where you just have to slog your way thru 1000s of random battles, i don't like it in rpgs either

kind of like almost wherever i explored at first i would run into minibosses rarely and then almost constantly

which, yeah, most of them aren't as hard now, But Still, it's the point of the thing

maybe i'm a bit defensive about "real gamer" bullshit and "women can't game" stereotypes while being super bad at games my whole life while my brother was fantastic at them

but like i just don't find that fun?? sure a good challenge once in awhile like eventide isle would be fine (even tho that was hellish and i'll never do it again) but that should be. every once in awhile, not. EVERYWHERE

anyway

frankly @ this point i'm REALY tempted to speed thru it before my surgery

bc i would hate to be laid up in bed and still have to worry about mobile browsing bc botw spoilers and tumblr's interface being awful

anyway i can;'t travel further in this direction without getting over near rito/hyrule field territory

and not only are those towers further away than i'd like but i wanted to do gerudo highlands first so back to the desert i go i guess rip

oh my god the wastelands tower goes down into NOTHINGNESS you're SUPPOSED to apporach from above

also i heard kass!! kass, buddy, where are you ;_;

oh i LOVE these cliffside structures i've been looking forward to them for so long

but i can't find kass ;_;

ALL tower shenanigans must CEASE until he is located!!

wait, he's...i see him! he's at the top of the tower! oh my god!

I'M COMIN, KASS

awww he wants to play the song for the hero who fell 100 years ago! he doesn't know it's me! ;__;

oh gross level two cold here and i didn't bring much cold food...just my warm doublet

wait

i have food AND the jacket and im STILL cold? this is level THREE? wtf wtf wtf

good thing i also have the ruby circlet but jeeeesus

i still have no food so i can't stay long

oh shit i found some guardians

still ones thank god

dude i found a HUGE cool mural for one shrine!!

yeah, this game is definitely still as full of fun secrets and as deslightful as when i first began playing it

and it came at a good time bc i just lost angela and it helped me feel Real Joy again

most displeasure i find with it now is because "AAAH ZELDA AT SOME POINT I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY FUCKING LIFE"

i'm so worried about spoilers and being behind now that some of the fun is draining away

i think after a bit of time has passed i'll either go back and finish exploring properly or straight up start a new file

and do it Thoroughly

when i can relax and go at my own pace instead of feeling like i'm racing the internet, my dashboard, my friends, my brother, etc

this region is soooo cold and i am so certain i'll get better cold gear in the rito area that im just activating the shrines and not even going inside to use my little food as efficiently as possible

im lit not even going inside

oh it's dropped to level 2 cold...thank god

THERE i got them all now to rush to ritoland

wait...i thought i read the 10k fairy wrong but i see ANOTHER on the map!

i bet SHE wants 10k and i have four thousand fucking rupees UGH

i thought there were only 4 and the horse fairy counted.......

ohh my god the divine beast is much closer from where i'm gliding...it's so big

I SEE DINAAL BUT I'M ON A FUCKING GLIDER SLKDFJGH

oh i've been typing it wrong all this time. dinRaal.

ohhh this region is so pretty so far...unlike the highlands which is miserable, i HATE snow in this game, i actually do wanna explore around here, i wish i didn't feel so hurried

oh god that divine beast is just So. it is So Big

god i passed the fairy on my way to the tower...10k! and i haven't been watching my cash bc i thought i misread something

all this time i've had 12 and 13 thousand rupees and i was blowing them on dumb shit

SILVER bokoblins...? come ON

good loot, tho

got the tower!

ohhh man. tat divine beast. oh boy. oh dude. big. so big. jesus fuck

oh hey i see rito village!! just where i wanted to go first

they better have good cold gear here :|

OH FUCK THERE'S THE BEAST SCREECHING

oh my god it's SO BIG im SO SCARED jesus FUCK

i wonder if kass will be here

IT'S RITO ISLAND MUSIC

IM GOING TO CRY

IT REALLY IS!!!! IT REALLY IS RITO ISLAND MUSIC

oh god it's BEAUTIFUL

aw omg the goddess statue here has a flower crown!

all right, fifteen heart containers...the rest will be stamina 5ever

no wait fuck i should have gotten stamina this time!! i'll get a heart from the beast

well i know you can trade them, somewhere out here i think

this beautiful too tbh this is all nice and orchestrated Damn

geez the armor will set me back even more money! not TOO much but when you're saving up for 10k...

well, against my brother's advice, i'm selling monster parts...i know i'll regret it later if i need them to upgrade armor, but i'm trying to stick to the common ones i have like 100+ of, so

aaand 10! woohoo

awww all the little baby rito in the hammocks :')

OMG the biggest rito looks like an owl! kaepora reference

oooh here comes a memory

AHAHAHA

revali and link were rivals. ok. im down with that for sure

and his specisal ability! an updraft!! PERFECT tbh

aww teba's husband doesn't want her son to be a warrior

tho i like the idea that ritos are hotheads hahahaha

zoras and gorons are both kinda collected we needed some assholes

HA i look forward to when revali gives me his special ability

i'm crying teba is such an asshole i LOVE him

wow i guess it's time to fight the beast already...? that was so FAST

omg i get to ride him!!!! yessss

oh my gosh we're up so HIGH oh man oh man the world is so tiny but i know it's really so huge oh god the divine beast is so BIG

lol i probs should have upgraded this rito armor.......

oh well too late now lmao

ohhh i love it when they talk to me

TEBA?

HE'S HURT OMG ):

nintendo would never kill him but omg im so worried about him

AAAAAH THERE'S REVALI

ohhh he's a DICK i LOVE HIM

ooh the master sword DOES glow when it's near the malice blight stuff

lowkey tempted to go back and upgrade this armor lol but i don't wanna leave and who even knows if i have the mats...

i'll just brave it thru like this and it'll be something to brag about later since apparently i suck at everything else

like doing eventide with five hearts on the blood moon

LMAO REVALI IS SO SMUG "you'll need to activate all the terminals, think you're up to it?" he's a DICK and i LOVE HIM i LOVE THE RITO

the music in this one is SO COOL?

i feel more like i'm fighting for my life/against something larger here, rather than just trying to creep through gently without disturbing anything and solve a puzzle for the others

and it's 100% bc of the music jesus christ

i LOVE how much gliding is involved this is EASILY my favorite divine beast so far

lol revali's tone of surprise in "there are two terminals remaining" i love him so much

"just one terminal remaining hmph what do you know" pls

all five down now the true test is can i beat the boss LMAO

the last 3 weren't nearly as bad as i expected, tho the lightning one's teleporting thing was almost too fast for me with my one-handed weapons

so maybe hopefully with good food this will be OK too

ok, i got level 2 cold food so i can get by with just wearing the pants :U not as much defense as i'd like but better than nothin

"it only defeated me bc i was winging this"

"can't believe i'm saying this but avenge me link!!"

ohhh there's accordian in this version of the fight song 

KASS ;_;

i wonder if kass's teacher WAS revali, or knew him

LMAO revali trash talks me when i get hit

KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME i didnt even watch that movie and im laughing at the meme

lmao "broke" the master sword with the last bow

eeeewww

DAAAAAMN

wouldn't even look at link as he left "your job is far from finished you know zelda has been waiting an awfully long time"

haha "i'll be plucked" as well thanks nintendo

"we've been ARTFULLY patient these last 100 years you won't suffer a feather over a few more moments"

geez i love him so much

that was definitely the best divine beast

tho the zora one is a close second

i gotta go make sure teba is ok

IM CRYING ZELDA JUST TOLD ME TO GO TO HYRULE CASTLE

soon i promise ok

time to go see the great fairy :U man i really thought my armor had been improved all it could be...

and 10k down the drain...

omg she's pink :3

im ALSO warping back to akkala to see if i can get any guardian armor yet i've collected a fair amt of parts!

LMAO I FINALLY HAVE THE MATS AND I DON'T HAVE THE CASH rip

ohhhh i see a new storm over hyrule field...DNW

lol maybe i SHOULD have explored it before now...too late now

holy shit i almost ran straight into a flying guardian going after this soul piece

ok, i need a plan...if i wanna beat the game before friday i gotta be Smart

i still need to finish exploring all the provinces, at least at the sursory level i gave to the highlands, but hopefully maybe a little better

i need to go back and do shrines and sidequests

and obviously i need to actually finish

counting today i have three days left so i guress i'll assign one task to each day, the last task obviously being on thursday

less than two hours left for playtime today, but i guess today i should explore, tomorrow i should shrine/sidequest, and i can do a LITTLE of that thursday if needed, and thursday i'll storm hyrule castle. ok

slkfjgh

SDLFGJHDLFKJG god. ok

aaaah the ruins music makes me so sad ):

pffft cute i got a memory where zelda was like STOP FOLLOWING ME I DONT NEED A BODYGUARD at link how adorable

i wanted to get all the memories before i beat the game but they're like ALL in/around hyrule field/castle and i'm afraid if i go there now that i've gotten all the beasts freed i'll trigger endgame events that i can't stop

so i guess i fucked myself over

i think i'll go ahead and get all the towers tho

so i can move around freely

i have time for like one MAYBE two before stream starts

aw this tower in the cold place is so cute and short

looked it up & apparently the heart/stamina swap is in hateno so im gonna go find it!

oh i came at night but that monster store guy is here!!

omg DUDE he sells DARK LINK gear?!?!

and apparently your movement speed goes up at night

the mask and bridles are pretty cool but i HAVE to have this

lmao and i just sold all my parts for that 10k...!

man he doesn't give you a lot tho...like, it has its own currency...i could never sell enough to get even one :/

ok, i can buy the tunic or the legs...but not the face. hmm

i guess the legs alone would look pretty dumb, but i have black pants and a hood that can kinda go with the tunic, so

this is kinda outta nowhere but i wish there was a recipe book for everything we've unlocked or read about, i just can't keep it all in my head

LOL omg that was freaky

okay but now i gotta quit

i didn't get all that i wanted to done, but maybe more later tonight but def tomorrow!!

playing a bit more bc bad choices

oh hmm it looks like i was mistaken and that storm isn't over the castle afterall! thank goodness

oh my god there's SO many shrines in the hebra peak range?? why???

LMFAO im thawing blocks of ice to get to this shrine and one has a moblin in it

me: stops thawing

OH MY GOD

THIS RANGE HAS AURORAS

IM GONNA CRY JFC

and i missed snapping a picture because of enemies!!! im so mad

too bad SO sad i am going back to those fires that started and waiting for night again i WILL get a picture

ugh and now it's snowing

i guess i could unlock this nearby shrine in the meantime

ooh, is that a cabin

;___; old man

end of the game and i still miss you

O: shield surfing

oh man i didnt actually wanna DO it now but

i actually dont know how to do the thing lol

lord, i had to google it. no one said a thing about pressing A

that was fun!! also i was worried i'd get lost so maybe i'll just. not do this for now

THERE! YES! AURORAS!

ooh god there's a silver lynel down there

i know i've been bitching over and over about fights but i lowkey wanna fight it to see if i can

i won't though bc my cold armor isn't very upgraded and my defense would be shot probably even with def+ food

as an aside im glad rivali's ability recharges so quickly i was afraid they'dmake me wait ages like the others

ohhh my god there's SO MANY silver lynel around here WHY

they have such a long detection range and such a scary roar )))):

thank god for rivali's gale i can fly right over him...otherwise i'd have to Run

there's another maze shrine here and im highkey like Ugh

idk if i'll quit when i get to the entrance or after i solve the maze...

i guess i'll give it a quick try and if it's horrible i'll stop until later

naturally i'm wondering if i can solve it on my map first and/or get to the top

if i could before with as little stamina as i had then: sure i'd be able to

probably there are guardians and the answer isnt THAT easy but

the entire maze seems to be one path which is absolutely useless to me like it doesn't look like a maze you solve on paper so i obviously have to find a door or go above or below all that somehow

uh

there are no guardians up here at ALL

in fact i think i even see a hole down to the shrine...

ok, what's the catch, what gives

ah no the hole only goes down a couple of feet and has a chest with a diamond in it

the devs saying "nice try but no" lol

i did find the entrance pretty quick from the top tho! and now i can warp back anytime

or no wait this WAS the challenge i can just go get my orb and ches

DUDE THE ATK+ LEGS......DUDE

ok i gotta figure out the shrine the chest is in and get it i NEED it this armor plus a def+ elixir? i'd be unstoppable, no more dodging fights for me!

well, less dodging fights

ok, so i looked it up and the chest is in a gerudo maze which i didn't even know existed bc i either missed it on the interactive map or it wasn't ther

but it looks Difficult so im gonna save it for tmrw

[igiti2019]

Day 5 (5/23)

Great day great day great day great day

Today we woke up early for our first day of work! When I woke up I went to the kitchen to hard boil the eggs I bought at the Kimironko Market. One of them cracked and then another one broke while I was peeling it and became an eggy shelly mess, so I threw those away and put the rest in the fridge and decided I would reap the benefits of my culinary work another day. Then we walked to Java House, the cute cafe with the sun logo, and I got a medium americano to go, since we had no time for breakfast. Outside Java House we got a cab and were on our way to work! When we first arrived at work at 10 we went to the third floor where the employees work and filled into a small meeting room that was available. This was perfect because it was small enough for just us 3, it had outlets and a fan, and with the door closed we were able to talk and collaborate. A few moments after getting settled in, Laura, the head of diversity at Kepler, poked her head in to tell us that if we had any questions or wanted to interview her and get her help on anything to let her know. We love Laura. But we had work to do, so we looked at our first deliverable which was to summarize key points of a data set that included data from 3 different sites of Kepler’s college preparation program called ITEME (“small log bridge” in Kinyarwanda). So we each took one site and spent 2 hours in that room summarizing the data! Finding trends, finding differences in gender, in refugees vs. non-refugees, etc. and then comparing the data across sites. At 12, we orded food from Java House with an app called Jumia, which is just like Rwanda’s Uber Eats. We decided we needed a change of scenery, so we went down to the great hall where all of the students can hang out and work, and we claimed a long table in the corner of the room and waited for our food. My lunch was so. Damn. delicious. I got a small dish of rice, a small dish of steamed vegetables, and a small dish of fried plantains, but of course the serving sizes in Rwanda are huge despite the incredibly cheap prices, so I was only able to finish half of it. The other half I’ve boxed up and will have tomorrow, hopefully with one of my prized hard-boiled market eggs. We didn’t do much work during lunch, just talked. Then after lunch we went back upstairs to the quiet room with everyone’s desk offices as I’m calling them, and for about 1 or 2 hours all silently worked on our data, going more in depth, doing other research, etc. until we finished our independent work and needed to collaborate again so we went back to our beloved available meeting room. We worked on our work plan in there until someone came in and kicked us out because they had it reserved for a meeting, and we returned to the great hall downstairs. We finalized that on a weekly basis we’ll plan to be at the office Monday - Friday, and just be very loose about taking days off to attend conferences or work remotely, which I think is just perfect. We also set rough deadlines for each of our 3 deliverables throughout the summer, including work for the case study that we’re meant to be compiling for the class that sent us here in the first place. After we finalized those two schedules Zodi and Ananya talked about some extra curriculars that they have in common until we called a cab and went home. At home things got a little bit icky, because we were all tired after our first day at work, and some of our different preferences were coming up about wifi and electricity use, work schedules, just different differences that will inevitably arise when people live together. I got upset when Zodi gave me some trouble for being so stringent with saving electricity and wifi, so I just isolated myself for a bit and went to my room to cool off. Cried a bit, took an anxiety med, and shook it off, because an hour later we had dinner with our boss in town. We were already kind of running late because it was taking too long to find a cab so we decided to walk, but then Ananya forgot her anti-malarial pills so we had to go back to the apartment but after that we were able to get a cab and make our way to Chez Lando, a higher end restaurant attached to a hotel. Our boss was there waiting for us (she’s really chill so she wasn’t mad at all), and we all sat down and ordered food. For the first time, we experienced what we had all read about – Rwandan service taking forever! Before coming here, we’d all read that restaurant meals can take up to 2 hours just to be delivered to the table, and that’s just a normal thing in Rwanda, but we weren’t experiencing that anywhere we went, we actually noticed that waiters were extremely pleasant and very attentive to our needs. But tonight the dinner took 90 minutes (Ananya timed it) to arrive. But it was well worth the wait! Ashley (boss lady) and Zodi both got Ugali, which is kind of like the outside of mochi if you can imagine that, but as a big blog, and you pick it up with your fingers and use it to then pick up and act as the starchy background for whatever else you ordered, usually spinach, stew, or meats. I’ve wanted to try it since we got here, but unfortunately Zodi and Ashley’s dishes both had meat. But I’m happy that I saw it! It reminded me to look for it next time we go somewhere that might have it. As for me, I got two plates LOADED with vegetables that made my heart sing. I ordered a plain omelette, a vegetable shishkabob, and potato croquettes (a lot of my meals here consist of me ordering things I can eat off of the sides menu and constructing my own meal and I LOVE it), and of course I got one plate with a huge omelette and tons of fresh veggies on the side (including half an avocado oh my god), and another plate with a gigantic roasted veggie skewer, three huge potato croquettes, and for some reason also boiled peas and carrots. It was so damn good. It all cost $4. So… yeah. I’m pretty sure my eyes were just giant stars when the waitress put it in front of me. It looked like a lot, and I thought I would be able to save some of it to add to my lunch tomorrow, but I surprised myself with how quickly I actually finished it! (Except for one of the potato croquettes I gave to Zodi and the fresh veggies that I couldn’t eat bc they’re raw and potentially have cholera bacteria on them but I did eat the avocado because it has a peel so sue me.) During the 90 minute wait and the meal afterwards, Ashley told us about her time living in India in college, her time doing the Peace Corps in Guatemala, her eventual move to Rwanda, her recent move within Rwanda, and her upcoming move to Ethiopia (uhhh… hello.. Can you say “dream life”?????????) We asked her questions about Kepler, and WE FOUND OUT THAT IT’S ACTUALLY SAFE FOR US TO GO TO KIZIBA REFUGEE CAMP. This is huge for me. We had been worried that the recent Ebola outbreak in DRC would make it unsafe to visit the Kiziba Refugee camp, one of Kepler’s campuses, but Kiziba hasn’t accepted any new refugees from DRC in years! I can’t even explain how much it means to me that I will soon be stepping foot onto what I’ve built all of my work around, all of my goals, all of my projects and classes and research. When Ashley saw my excitetment at the news, she stopped smiling for one of the only times that night, and warned me that, “It’s really… a lot. It’s extremely difficult to be there and see it, especially for you guys who have never seen something like it before. But as soon as you get there, people will be following you and touching you, and the poverty is really extreme.” But I’m so ready. I want to see, I want to experience, I want to understand, and then I want to think, and I want to help. June is Refugee Awareness Month, and June 20 is World Refugee Day, so this timing is pretty serendipitous. We need to send our passports to the government and get government clearance to go, and we always need to tell them when we plan to go so that they expect us. (It’s a 4 hour drive up a mountain, so we couldn’t just pop by anyways.) The Kiziba campus graduation is July 5th, so Ashley said that we could certainly go with Kepler for that, but I’d like to go sooner if possible, even just once. It’s $100 to get a 4-wheel drive car (which is necessary for the journey) to take us there, but that’s only $20 more than a regular car would cost. Kepler employees are there Monday - Friday, too, so we would have people who could show us around and speak English with us. At our dinner we also found out that Sylvia, who had become our new supervisor after Obed was leaving to work at a different Kepler location, was now also leaving for a new job somewhere else. So next week we’ll find out who our new supervisor is! It’s too bad, because Sylvia and Obed seem great, but we’ve also met some very cool employees at Kepler like Laura, Cristine, Teppo, Joell, they all seem great, and Ashley seemed confident that we were being placed with the right person. We were ALSO told that tomorrow the president of Southern New Hampshire University, Kepler’s biggest partner, is coming with a group of about 35 people! Ashley is coordinating the whole thing, so she said that we could go and be flies on the wall, but we can’t talk to her because she will be at maximum stress limits. It’s 8:45-12, so I’m hoping we can go at 8:45 and see as much as possible. After that, we’ll hopefully meet with Sylvia to finalize our work plan and get ideas from her about where to go for data, etc. Then it sounded like Ananya and Zodi didn’t want to do a full work day tomorrow, so I’m not sure what will happen after that. Bruno (landlord) is bringing us a rice cooker tomorrow, so I may go back to Kimironko Market and buy some more eggs (since I’ve already lost 3) and some rice by the kilo. 6 organic eggs for $1.20! Did I already tell y’all that?! Anyways after dinner Zodi and Ananya said they no longer wanted to go happy hour at the Inema Arts Center so I had to text Innocent and tell him we would be there next week. Which was very sad, and I really wish we could’ve gone, it would’ve been nice to celebrate our first day of work with 2 for 1 wine!!!! But also it was late, and we need to get up early especially if we’re going in at 8:45! So we taxied home with the SWEETEST French-speaking old man I have ever met and I love him with all my heart and I wish we could’ve gotten his number and used him as our driver every time. (Most taxi drivers give strangers their numbers so that they’ll just call them instead of calling a random cab) He would even be perfect because since he drove us to our impossible-to-find apartment, he knows where it is! If I ever get in his cab again I’ll get his number… We came inside and I took.. My first… RWANDAN SHOWER. (That’s what I’ll be calling it.) But like full on cold shower with a detached shower head I had to move around me without spraying water, squatting down to wash my hair so I wouldn’t get water everywhere, it was great. Very refreshing of course, but also I always love experiencing those little things that make a country definitely different from my country, even if it’s “less comfortable” or considered “worse”. ANY part of a new culture, good or bad, I love discovering it. Now I’m in my room writing this under my mosquito bed net, which I actually love. It’s like a fort. When I got back to my room after my shower and got changed, I threw my phone, backpack, and water bottle under the net and then climbed in. I just throw anything I need for the night in, and then get in! It’s just like a fort!! I love it. Okay that’s all I have to report on today. We used up over half our wifi that we had bought for 30 days in just 3 days, so I’ll post pictures tomorrow when I have work wifi….

Peace!

[itsjayyyy]

July 2, 2018 11:17 pm

So yesterday I went to work and all that jazz, and as my shift was ending rose sent me a text saying she was going to paul’s birthday dinner and they wouldn’t be back at their place until a little later, and I should wait until they come back to slide over. I responded that since it was sunday night (back to school), I was planning on heading back to my college for the night. But as soon as I sent that message I realized that they were offering to let me stay over again, and there was no way in hell I’d pass up that opportunity. So I quickly added “but if yall are cool with me staying over I’ll wait ya sure.” I still drove out to my college after my shift, though, because I still needed to shower. After I got out of the shower, I rearranged my locker, then rose texted me saying they were gonna get boba, so I linked up with them there. I got chocolate milk tea (reminded me a lot of chocolate milk w a lot of syrup) with chili pepper popping boba (not as spicy as I expected it to be).

While we were there, rose mentioned plane ticket costs and how they were predicted to go down and I was like wait. Yall are still planning on going to this music festival. After we literally had a huge fight over that. About how I gave yall $850 because I thought you needed it and now you won’t even help me get off the streets. Okay.

I just kind of stewed in my anger instead of saying it out loud, though, since paul’s sister was with them and I didn’t want to leave a bad impression on her. When the boba shop closed we migrated outside to have a cigarette and then talk some more. Peter and I sat on the curb and talked about how he was kind of scared he wouldn’t be a good father since he never had one growing up, and then I started to teach him how to ride a motorcycle. Then we stopped by a gas station (where I accidentally spilled gas all over my tank), and then went back to their place to smoke a bowl. Bruh, when I tell you peter has the comfiest bed in the world, I mean it.

The next morning (today), rose told me that apparently in my sleep i reached over her, grabbed peter’s arm, and held it close to me. But I held it in an angle that put his hand right on my titties. I’m a very cuddly person when I’m asleep, in my defense. She also told me that the night before, I swung my leg over her (like a full body hug) and accidentally kicked peter in the balls. I’m so sorry, peter.

So I woke up around 10:30 ish, laid in bed, then rose and I watched another episode of mother. We got to the part where seol ak dies ahhh it’s so sad. I know I’m not supposed to feel bad for him bc he’s an abuser and all but man, with a backstory like that you gotta at least feel a little bad for him. Then I went to therapy, but I got to that side of town about 30 mins early so I stopped at a mcdonald’s for breakfast. And by breakfast I mean a small fries and a medium hazelnut iced coffee. I don’t eat at mcdonald’s that often, but I noticed some things were different: you order on a touch screen, and the workers that bring your food wear very professional outfits, like they work at a hotel or something.

This was the first therapy session that I felt that she was actually giving me some solid advice, instead of just listening to me. But in her defense, most of the times I tell her about my problems, I follow it up with my solutions so she never gets an opportunity to help me. Today she suggested I write a letter to my parents, because it allows me to carefully compile and revise what I say, there’s no chance of them interrupting me, and they can reread it as many times as they need to. She also said that I should ask rose and peter to pay me back, considering that I’m homeless and need money to at least rent a hotel or something. When she first said that (and for the next few hours), I was like fuck yeah give me my money back. But now that I’ve simmered down, I feel bad because rose has two speeding tickets she has to pay for, and she still hasn’t gotten her first paycheck, and her car ran out of gas today. But if she just agreed to not go to lollapalooza, maybe I wouldn’t be so upset.

After therapy I drove out to my college again to chill on the upper floor of the library (my new fav spot). I watched the final episode of mother, and I’m so happy it has a happy ending ahh. It reaffirmed my love of social work. Even though rose said she was going to donate plasma on the east side and then meet up with me, she never messaged me the rest of the day. I’m getting really fed up with that tbfh. I texted her saying “so much for finishing mother today” and she responded about how her car ran out of gas. I just don’t want to think about her and mom talking at home ugh.

After the library closed, I drove right off campus to the gas station to pick up some cup noodles. I also bought a bottle of water since it’s cheaper there, and also a pack of hostess donuts because I deserve them. I remember hearing when I was a very young child something about the average family lives on $2 a day (apparently I misheard, it’s the line of poverty that’s $2 a day), and now I think I want to adopt a similar mentality. I’m not going to go as far as going to $2 a day right now (which would be 2 cups of noodles and nothing more), but I do want to curb my spending on food. Of course, buying prepared meals will always be more expensive than preparing food by hand, but since I don’t have a kitchen that’s a paradoxical luxury I can’t afford. I just want to spend less money on starbucks, mcdonald’s (that breakfast was like $4!!!), etc. and see how much extra I can save. Here’s my plan: buy a box of any cheap super sugary cake (like zebra cakes, twinkies, etc) since they come as a pack of 6 for $1.79 and contain enough calories to be a full meal. That’ll be my mid day snack. That comes out to 30 cents per day. Then I’ll allow, say, a cup of noodles or easy mac or maybe a can of soup from the gas station, which is between $1-2, for dinner. If I currently set a budget of $5 per day, that leaves around $2.70 for breakfast, which could be two donuts at dunkin. 

I also want to start balancing my checkbook, because I feel like that would help me be more aware of my spending. I set it up in the back of my comp sci notebook already; I plan on doing my checking account in black ink, my discover card in red, and my capital one in blue because I feel that if I only do my checking then I’ll just hide all my purchases from my conscience in my credit cards.

I’m really wishing I had taken the 5 packs of chopsticks from my yellow backpack and put them in my blue backpack, because I’m currently trying to eat noodles with a bottle cap as my eating utensil and it is not working out.

I think I might start looking into living on my own if I can’t talk things through with everyone else. I mean, they still want to go to lolla, but literally the month after they plan on moving out and they don’t even have a savings account? And they haven’t even paid for the trip’s expenses? Yikes. I mean, I’m fucking homeless and even my savings account is at least in the triple digits.

We’ll see, though. I just can’t wait until I’m 24 with a stable income, my own house, and a great career in social work.

[obsessedwithspencerreid]

wrist

please excuse this it's my first time publicly sharing writing so yeah! also this is LOOSELY based on spencer but i tried to throw in enough pretty boy references haha // also the capitalization is cringe bc i wrote like half in my phone and half on my computer DONT HATE MEEEE triggers: slight language word count: 1,486 ______ he cheated. how could i have known you would cheat? well, if i said i never thought you could possibly be trouble i would be lying. it was a loud, raucous Friday night at the local bar when I first saw you. I went there almost every weekend, trying to drink away my feeling, my worries, my fears. the red strobe lights illuminated your tangled mess of dirty blonde curls. we were sitting to the side on an uncomfortable looking plastic stool, the kind you have to peel off of your thighs on a hot summer afternoon. who was he watching? a girlfriend? god, i hope not, i thought. i bit my lip as i saw you taking a hair tie off of your delicate, bird-like wrist, a completely unique wrist that was the only one of its kind in its utter perfection. i think it was that moment that i realized that you would break my heart one day. it was but a matter of time, my love. my life. my death. fast forward a few weeks. i took you on crazy, stupid adventures, and you muttered statistics in between passionate, heated kisses about how there are less germs on the face, so it's safer to make out than shake hands. of course it was probably just an excuse to kiss again. you were always good at words. you created a piece of art with every sentence, weaved a tapestry with each letter, each word being a thread of its own kaleidoscopic color. and when you finally said those three monumental words? it was Michelangelo and the Sistine chapel. we were idiotic, we were wild, we were living off of the unadulterated drug called happiness. we saw everything through the rose tinted tones of our youth, never imagining that we would have to grow up eventually. but for that year, we were stuck in our own private neverland, perpetually living the same twisted version of adolescence and adulthood. I waited, desperately, for someone to give a damn. for our parents, or our friends, to even care that we had no sense of real life. To tell me to finish getting my masters degree, or let that genius boyfriend of yours get you a job. our fluffy cloud of naïveté was soon becoming a furious, storming gray. so he fell, a big fat plop on the earth; he got a job. and not only a job, a job where he travelled constantly. at first i was proud of my one true love. yes, I took ownership of everything that he had become. wasn't it me who taught him how not to be afraid? to not hide from the bruises and scars on his back, and share his utter hurt and pain with someone? everything was fine at first. until his deep set eyes became sunken with stress, and bloodshot with exhaustion. those beautiful eyes that i spotted across the room and fell in love with. a swirl of amber and melted chocolate, drip drip drizzling on my taste buds, and the smell of fresh baked cookies, the sound of a clicking keyboard. now bitter cacao, burnt, smoking embers, the screech of the smoke detector that always seemed to go off at the exact wrong time. this exact moment, when he got of that jet for the 8th time, was the moment we broke. but like a broken glass that a child hastily tries to glue together, we tried to fix it. like the spiderweb cracks, it didn't work. we were always built to fall apart. the only problem was that we didn't fall back together like i had desperately believed. that's when the fights started. huge screaming matches, waking up everyone in the near vicinity of us. i smelled her perfume. lavender, rosemary, smells that disgusted me to the core. i've been allergic since i was 12. i dismissed it. said that maybe you were consoling a crying woman, who just lost her husband or her cousin or her daughter or her brother. but that was the problem. i was still stuck in the cloud of naïveté. every time you came home, i thought it would be different. that you would say "how are you honey" while i cooked a delicious meatloaf, as our two twin boys kicked a soccer ball around. "don't play in the house," i would have said. now i'm stuck in a choking cocoon of loneliness and despair and i can't get out. no matter how hard i try or struggle, i can't breathe, and no one can hear a sound. I remember the calm before the storm, the yellow sky in the eye of the incoming hurricane. We had just moved into our apartment, an utterly inexpensive, tiny, cramped room in the bad side of town. But none of that mattered, i thought. The only thing that mattered was that we were together, united to take on the world and all of the murderers, rapists, and kidnappers that it would throw at us, or our relationship. Our hairstyles were both messy buns, as we laughed, and threw empty boxes at each other, and we revelled in the reverie of innocence and cluelessness of our young adulthood. We bought our first furniture, and yelled, and giggled at Ikea. and we jumped on our mattresses to break it in. our stomachs hurt from laughing, we both twisted our ankles at least three times, but we were completely and utterly drunk on the potent poison of carelessness. Remember when we fought about the photos? Or did you forget them, just like you forgot how to love me? The photos, which under a glossy facade of perfection showed crimson liquid dripping, staining her blue face and everything pure and happy? That was one of your biggest fights. How did he look at that all damn day? That horrific display of how truly evil human nature can be, and what we can actually do to each other? That night, i had to change something in myself to survive. Or maybe it was always there, and it subtly revealed itself, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I looked over my shoulder in grocery store parking lots, and i learned how to walk backwards up a stairwell. Who knows? Maybe that genial, stout looking middle aged man was a psychopath that would slit my throat, or sew my mouth shut. Maybe i would feel the burn and hiss of hydrochloric acid on my pale arms, while i syared in the crystal grey eyes of a blond haired, beautifully sadistic woman. I was never safe, except when i was in your comforting embrace. But i was never in your arms. That embrace. It could make me escape our neverland, with broken glass littering the white sand beaches and crimson colored water. The blood-thirsty mermaids and pirates that we ran away from every day. I forgot everything about you that was broken, or toxic, or told me that you were nothing. A sweet nothing nevertheless, an inkling of a dangerous thought. A bad idea. No, the worst idea. You rested your head on mine and i could hear you breathing, and i thought i could hear your thoughts and mine embracing as well, intermingling to create our own blithe, amaranthine idea of affection, and beauty, and joy. We were the definition of forever. then there it was. the fight to end all fights. the bleak thread of our still surviving relationship was snipped in half. you got a text from "maeve". some joke about physics or some obscure chemistry. i screamed. but then i cried. cried for the hazy innocence of our youth. when did we lose it? during our angry shrieks, or the ringing echoes after? i cried for your eyes. goddamn those eyes were gorgeous. what i'd give to go back to your apartment and retrieve that faded, lipstick-smudged Polaroid of me kissing you in front of the Mona Lisa, thinking that we were a more a piece of art than some half smiling old crone could ever be. it's in the top drawer of the dresser in the library, where i kept my stacks of memories. But it’s too late. There's no going back now. Not ever. I screamed. I planned to meticulously exact my revenge, and you would come back, and we would once again be in our unctuously sweet bubble of innocuous, ignorant love. but most of all? i cried your name. it was the tap tap tap of the rain on our apartment complex's cheap tin roof. it was the smell of the chicken lo mein we would eat during our chess games, or while we were watching doctor who (always your favorite). it was your wrist, your wrist that i fell in love with before i fell in pure, unmitigated love with the rest of you. "Spencer Alexander Reid." "spencer alexander reid" spencer alexander reid

[dreamyfiction]

wrist!!

let me just emphasize that this is prob rlly bad bc i wrote it at 2 am / also this isn’t SUPER heavily based on spencer but i tried my best to throw some pretty boy references in there triggers: slight language, nothing too bad (i think oops) word count: 1,486 _______ he cheated. how could i have known you would cheat? well, if i said i never thought you could possibly be trouble i would be lying. it was a loud, raucous Friday night at the local bar when I first saw you. I went there almost every weekend, trying to drink away my feeling, my worries, my fears. the red strobe lights illuminated your tangled mess of dirty blonde curls. we were sitting to the side on an uncomfortable looking plastic stool, the kind you have to peel off of your thighs on a hot summer afternoon. who was he watching? a girlfriend? god, i hope not, i thought. i bit my lip as i saw you taking a hair tie off of your delicate, bird-like wrist, a completely unique wrist that was the only one of its kind in its utter perfection. i think it was that moment that i realized that you would break my heart one day. it was but a matter of time, my love. my life. my death. fast forward a few weeks. i took you on crazy, stupid adventures, and you muttered statistics in between passionate, heated kisses about how there are less germs on the face, so it's safer to make out than shake hands. of course it was probably just an excuse to kiss again. you were always good at words. you created a piece of art with every sentence, weaved a tapestry with each letter, each word being a thread of its own kaleidoscopic color. and when you finally said those three monumental words? it was Michelangelo and the Sistine chapel. we were idiotic, we were wild, we were living off of the unadulterated drug called happiness. we saw everything through the rose tinted tones of our youth, never imagining that we would have to grow up eventually. but for that year, we were stuck in our own private neverland, perpetually living the same twisted version of adolescence and adulthood. I waited, desperately, for someone to give a damn. for our parents, or our friends, to even care that we had no sense of real life. To tell me to finish getting my masters degree, or let that genius boyfriend of yours get you a job. our fluffy cloud of naïveté was soon becoming a furious, storming gray. so he fell, a big fat plop on the earth; he got a job. and not only a job, a job where he travelled constantly. at first i was proud of my one true love. yes, I took ownership of everything that he had become. wasn't it me who taught him how not to be afraid? to not hide from the bruises and scars on his back, and share his utter hurt and pain with someone? everything was fine at first. until his deep set eyes became sunken with stress, and bloodshot with exhaustion. those beautiful eyes that i spotted across the room and fell in love with. a swirl of amber and melted chocolate, drip drip drizzling on my taste buds, and the smell of fresh baked cookies, the sound of a clicking keyboard. now bitter cacao, burnt, smoking embers, the screech of the smoke detector that always seemed to go off at the exact wrong time. this exact moment, when he got of that jet for the 8th time, was the moment we broke. but like a broken glass that a child hastily tries to glue together, we tried to fix it. like the spiderweb cracks, it didn't work. we were always built to fall apart. the only problem was that we didn't fall back together. that's when the fights started. huge screaming matches, waking up everyone in the near vicinity of us. i smelled her perfume. lavender, rosemary, smells that disgusted me to the core. i've been allergic since i was 12. i dismissed it. said that maybe you were consoling a crying woman, who just lost her husband or her cousin or her daughter or her brother. but that was the problem. i was still stuck in the cloud of naïveté. every time you came home, i thought it would be different. that you would say "how are you honey" while i cooked a delicious meatloaf, as our two twin boys kicked a soccer ball around. "don't play in the house," i would have said. now i'm stuck in a choking cocoon of loneliness and despair and i can't get out. no matter how hard i try or struggle, i can't breathe, and no one can hear a sound. I remember the calm before the storm, the yellow sky in the eye of the incoming hurricane. We had just moved into our apartment, an utterly inexpensive, tiny, cramped room in the bad side of town. But none of that mattered, i thought. The only thing that mattered was that we were together, united to take on the world and all of the murderers, rapists, and kidnappers that it would throw at us, or our relationship. Our hairstyles were both messy buns, as we laughed, and threw empty boxes at each other, and we revelled in the reverie of innocence and cluelessness of our young adulthood. We bought our first furniture, and yelled, and giggled at Ikea. and we jumped on our mattresses to break it in. our stomachs hurt from laughing, we both twisted our ankles at least three times, but we were completely and utterly drunk on the potent poison of carelessness. Remember when we fought about the photos? Or did you forget them, just like you forgot how to love me? The photos, which under a glossy facade of perfection showed crimson liquid dripping, staining her blue face and everything pure and happy? That was one of your biggest fights. How did he look at that all damn day? That horrific display of how truly evil human nature can be, and what we can actually do to each other? That night, i had to change something in myself to survive. Or maybe it was always there, and it subtly revealed itself, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I looked over my shoulder in grocery store parking lots, and i learned how to walk backwards up a stairwell. Who knows? Maybe that genial, stout looking middle aged man was a psychopath that would slit my throat, or sew my mouth shut. Maybe i would feel the burn and hiss of hydrochloric acid on my pale arms, while i syared in the crystal grey eyes of a blond haired, beautifully sadistic woman. I was never safe, except when i was in your comforting embrace. But i was never in your arms. That embrace. It could make me escape our neverland, with broken glass littering the white sand beaches and crimson colored water. The blood-thirsty mermaids and pirates that we ran away from every day. I forgot everything about you that was broken, or toxic, or told me that you were nothing. A sweet nothing nevertheless, an inkling of a dangerous thought. A bad idea. No, the worst idea. You rested your head on mine and i could hear you breathing, and i thought i could hear your thoughts and mine embracing as well, intermingling to create our own blithe, amaranthine idea of affection, and beauty, and joy. We were the definition of forever. then there it was. the fight to end all fights. the bleak thread of our still surviving relationship was snipped in half. you got a text from "maeve". some joke about physics or some obscure chemistry. i screamed. but then i cried. cried for the hazy innocence of our youth. when did we lose it? during our angry shrieks, or the ringing echoes after? i cried for your eyes. goddamn those eyes were gorgeous. what i'd give to go back to your apartment and retrieve that faded, lipstick-smudged Polaroid of me kissing you in front of the Mona Lisa, thinking that we were a more a piece of art than some half smiling old crone could ever be. it's in the top drawer of the dresser in the library, where i kept my stacks of memories. But it’s too late. There's no going back now. Not ever. I screamed. I planned to meticulously exact my revenge, and you would come back, and we would once again be in our unctuously sweet bubble of innocuous, ignorant love. but most of all? i cried your name. it was the tap tap tap of the rain on our apartment complex's cheap tin roof. it was the smell of the chicken lo mein we would eat during our chess games, or while we were watching doctor who (always your favorite). it was your wrist, your wrist that i fell in love with before i fell in pure, unmitigated love with the rest of you. "Spencer Alexander Reid." "spencer alexander reid" spencer alexander reid

[queersunflowers]

smh cant believe you made me send an ask,, i dont even remember the questions so do all of them, that's 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 and idk if there are numbers after but if there are then also do 94 95 96 97 98 and 99 if they're available yeah get rekt nerd

 You could of just said “all of them” but no, be extra. A lot of these are Yes or No questions so don’t get upset if I didn’t give my whole life story.  

The Questions I’ll Be Answering: 

1. Definitely not.

2. No, haven’t talked to that fucker in a year lmao

3. Yeah, oops.

4. Kinda. In terms of friendship, once you loose it, its gone. Relationship wise, same but I’m so fucking loyal ah.

5. Don’t “like” anyone atm but I did do a Lab Report with a really cute girl

6.My future (past High school bc shit sucks)

7. (The Cheeto president aside) Nothing much.

8. I think its cute/fine as long as their safe, properly taken care of, and no frat boy is within a 50 mile radius of her.

9. YES.

10. If you’ve been around me for more than 10 seconds you would know: its fucking Cranberry Juice

11. Three, maybe four.

12. All my jeans are skinny jeans.

13. Get fUCKED UP (I’ll be blogging that night)

14. Clothes or food most likely.

15. Lol no

16. Three months? Maybe, I mean everyone changes and I can’t predict the future. But maybe.

17. Honestly? All of my best friends (irl and internet) and my grandma. I can count this on my hands.

18. When did TFP air?

19. Nope

20. I’m realizing that life’s fucking short. Go do what you really want to do.

21. Meh.

22. Sure, don’t see why not.

23. Nope, kinda glad.

24. To pee. Also the LGBT page on the White House’s website would be great.

25. Eh, nothing really.

26. Blonde and purple baby

27. No, but it doesn’t take a lot to make me laugh

28. The cute girl that I did my Lab Report with kept joking that she couldn’t read the equations and idk it’d sound weird if I explained it.

29. If you asked me this like a month ago, I’d say yes. Now? Not really.

30. Not everyone.

31. No, he’s my best friend and also my other best friend’s boyfriend (my otp btw)

32. Funny story, I actually did like someone before and I told them and they were so happy because apparently I was the first and they got excited it was cute.

33. Yeah lmao

34. Ed Sheeran’s new songs and the Waitress soundtrack again

35. Mechanical only

36. No idea

37. No, I believe you have to truly meet someone before loving them.

38. The last person I texted, my best friend Izzy.

39. Formally, I’ve never actually danced. Casually, probably someone during a build day for tech

40. Pregunta numero tres

41. During Dear Ruth, Props Master brought chocolate cupcakes.

42. Nope.

43. Many, many, many times. Old crush tho

44. I don’t tan at all, I burn like a vampire.

45. Nah

46. No

47. Izzy from #38

48. Excuse you, I perform.

49. YES.

50. Once

51. Does your school ID picture count? If not, my picture for yearbook

52. I live for Musicals whatdoyoumean

53. Y E S especially with my dumbass family lmao

54. I don’t even know what that is

55. Cherry or Apple pie

56. Actor and Painter (was close)

57. Eh

58. All the time

59. No, I should

60. Sometimes in the winter when the floor is cold

61. yes

62. Nothing ;)

63. Hannah Montana FT. The Jonus Brothers

64. Target ftw

65. Neither

66. Neither.

67. Peanuts

68. Don’t have one; I don’t really like her.

69. Yes, I quit innnnn 6th grade I believe. Won lots of competitions n such

70. Probably something theater related

71. yes

72. no

73. YES, we just finished setting the light plot for UYL and wow

74. Les Miserables is pretty coolio but otherwise Blythe Bairds “Give Me A God I Can Relate To” is great

75. With

76. No, I want to tho

77. Yes

78. I missed The Color Morale when they were here but otherwise Dodie Clark (aka love of my life)

79. The Pretty Reckless 

80. I drink both but it depends on my condition and the weather. I drink hot tea when i feel like SHIT or need to calm down. I drink cold tea if its hot outside.

81. Both, although I drink a lot more coffee because I fall asleep in class

82. Thin Mint girl scout cookies (bought 3 boxes from my friend)

83. Eh

84. Haven’t tried that

85. Depends on what it is. If I’m taking a test, no just fucking give me the thing to fail. If it’s like a face-mask or something, I forget its on.

86. Never been to a wedding so idk

87. Yeah, in elementary school we had to guess how many jelly beans were in a jar and my best friend at the time had a mom is the PTA who did it and he told me and I won.

88. Nope

89. I don’t like olives in general so

90. Dude, like I’ve already had sex so obviously I don’t care. Virginity isn’t really real and life doesn’t wait so go do whatever you want to.

91. Bedroom, sexy aS FUCK

92. Eventually but I’m not the diamond ring kinda gal. A simple band will do just fine, as long as I’m with the one I love, it’s cool.