#I also didn't eat enough and I'm burning up with fever

[666m4gg0tinahoodie]

I don't know what I'm seeing in these nightmares but it makes me nauseous and afraid to sleep

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley Drabble

Hi lovelies! Lia here again, I've been quite busy with school so I hope you guys can be a little patient with content since I've been stuck on a slump and there's a lot of things I'm currently busy with at the moment because of school despite posting so much last week. Here's the weekly content and I hope you all enjoy :)

Also how do you all feel if I write works inspired by old gacha songs? And yes I used to be a gacha girly, it was some wild phase AHAHAHA

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Brainrot, Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley who decided he wanted to get a divorce with you because things weren't working out between the both of you, so you had to share custody of your daughter.

You managed to get yourself together, having no time to grieve that part of you that he took with him because you had a little one depending on you. You loved that girl for all she was, however she brings you and Simon together.

Not that you resent her for it, god no, it wasn't her fault you and your husband couldn't see eye to eye.. that he refused to retire after everything, maybe it was just your paranoia getting to you. You couldn't stand the fear anymore, the fear of one day he's not the one you'll see when you open the front door but Price.

You forgot how difficult it was doing this on your own until now, you could barely get up, your head was actually killing you. You pushed through, making your daughter breakfast.

You felt like you were about to throw up, ears started to ring and everything else felt numb. The next thing you know was your eyes rolling back and everything going black, the last thing you heard was your toddler panicking, calling you over and over on the verge of crying.

All while you were unconscious, your little one runs to your room to look for your phone to call her dad.

"Listen I know we—" Simon said expecting you on the phone before getting cut off by his daughter..

"Dada! Momma's dead, dada. Momma's not breathing!" In a panic, she cried it out like a mantra. Simon was in a panic, he got up from where he was and was speeding towards what used to be your shared home.

The next thing you know, you were hearing the beeps of a heart monitor. All your senses were working, all except sight.. you didn't have enough energy to open them, in the coldness of your whole body from the well ventilated room, you felt warmth on your hand.

It was all too familiar, calloused but so gentle and warm. Simon.. it was Simon. All while processing this situation, all that's going through Simon's head are the what ifs.

"Fucking hell, help her.. My wife, she's been unconscious for thirty minutes. She's breathing but it's faint and she's burning" Simon almost yelled in a full panic, he was doing his best not to snap at the hospital staff but how couldn't he? Hadn't even realized that he called you something you weren't anymore, the title he took with him.

Your little one holding her dad's hand in the waiting room, she was observant, an emotionally intelligent little girl who holds her dad's hand. Simon keeps reminding himself to calm down, how much his bumblebee must be terrified, far more than he was so he takes her in his arms.

Sooner or later they were allowed to enter, doctor said you were stabilized and only collapsed from a horrid fever and so much fatigue. Thinking of losing you, just like that with no warning would be the second time Simon would lose you.

Now watching you unconscious, IV tube connected to you because of course you haven't been eating well either. It made him rethink everything, was it a mistake to give you those papers? Was it worth it losing the one person in his life who he would give his life for with no hesitation?

All he could do for now was sit next to you, no matter how long it takes for you to wake up because he doesn't have the strength to leave, maybe in a day or two but not now..

Part 2 anyone?

[moonydustx]

Good Medicine

Trafalgar Law x F!Reader

warnings: F!reader is sick, Law has some problems taking action to take care of her. Pre-established relationship, mentions of disgusting things about being sick (basically vomiting) , fluff

a/n: maybe I'll rewrite this better later, I just needed to get it out there to see if it sparked my creativity.

requests open | one piece masterlist

Today was one of those days where you woke up already knowing something was wrong, your only mission was to find out what. The plate in front of you looked strange that morning. The same coffee, the same bread, everything seemed wrong. The same went for your body, it seemed to weigh tons and your stomach was boiling with something that went beyond the hot drink in front of you.

"Are you okay?" Shachi snapped you out of your reverie, watching you roll a piece of the sandwich from one side to the other.

"I just need to get some air." You stood up, not having the trouble to even take your plate off the table.

With hurried steps, you reached the bathroom with just enough time to open the toilet seat before all your breakfast went away. You just hoped that like a good hangover, emptying it would be enough to improve but apparently you were wrong.

You had recently left the last island you had visited, which meant more things to keep: more work for you. In those days, you knew that rest would be scarce, as would the times you would meet your captain - who also served as your boyfriend in his spare time. Chills ran through your body as you struggled to stack two boxes of medical supplies, your body seemed to sweat more than usual. You heard your name being called in the distance, needing to focus a few times before you saw Law approaching.

"Are you ok?" He analyzed you from top to bottom. Pale lips, deep dark circles, something was wrong.

"Yes captain." you replied, respecting your treaty for when you were in public. "Just some heartburn."

"Keep an eye on it. You know where to find the medicine." he simply responded, analyzing you once more before leaving.

You finished putting away the boxes and leaned against the wall, trying to regain the air and strength lost in the whole process. Following the quick orders your captain had given, you swallowed some pills and continued with your tasks, even though your body seemed to fight against every movement.

You loved Law and you knew he loved you too, but sometimes it was a little difficult to deal with how methodical he could be especially when it came to being sick. On days like these, he tended to be more of a doctor than a boyfriend and you hated that. Ignoring the thoughts, you made your way to your shared room, reaching the bed and seeing Ikkaku hanging from the top.

"What ghost scared you?"

"What you mean?" you threw yourself against the pillows, using the blanket.

"You're pale, you look like you're going to disappear." She came down, standing in front of you and placing her hand on your forehead. "And you're burning up with a fever."

"I've already taken my medicine." you covered your head, trying to escape the cold that only you felt. "I just need to get some sleep."

"Did you eat anything bad?" She pulled your blanket back. "Or are you pregnant?"

"I'm betting more on the first hypothesis." you immediately reassured her, knowing that for the other proposal, you and Law were always responsible in terms of protecting each other. "I think it's just a virus."

"Did you warn Law?"

"He asked me to..." you sat down, to continue talking, but again your stomach turned.

Without responding, you ran once again towards the bathroom, this time Ikkaku's hurried footsteps followed you.

"Open the door." she asked and even though she didn't see it, you shook your head. A few minutes passed before it knocked again.

"I am worried." she warned. "Open the door or I'll have to call him here."

"It is not necessary." you reached up, unlocking the lock. "I'm just a little dizzy."

"Let me help you." Ikkaku pulled you, supporting your body as you washed your face. "Are you sure the medicine alone is enough?"

"Yes." you replied with clear discouragement in your voice.

"I'm going back to my room, maybe getting some sleep will help me."

Walking a few meters from the bathroom, the two of you came face to face with Law followed by Bepo, both discussing something about the likely next island they would find.

"Are you feeling ok?" Bepo was the first to ask and you just nodded. Law's gaze burned over you again, analyzing every inch of your body.

He knew there was something wrong, but he didn't know how far he wanted to intervene, for fear that you would feel uncomfortable.

"Do you need any help?" he asked in your direction, waiting for you to say yes.

"It's okay captain." you replied before Ikkaku spoke for you, giving what was your best smile for the moment.

he two of you walked away from him and it didn't take long for you to reach the bedroom. Ikkaku helped you get to the bed and watched you cover yourself up to your head. Being one of the only two people who knew about your relationship with the captain, she sat at the foot of the bed, watching you.

"Are you sure you don't want to ask him for help?"

"He's going to medicate me, probably tell me to eat and rest. I've already done almost all of that." you answered. "I don't want to be a problem for him, I know it's not in his profile to take care of someone like that, in a more intimate way."

"But it's what you need right now." she replied, walking away. "Get some rest, I'll ask them to prepare something light for you to eat."

The lights went out and you remained there in a light doze bothered by the fever. Ikkaku followed with firm steps, finding the captain heading towards his room, approaching him halfway and pretending to be angry.

"Captain, I need to talk to you."

She tried to appear more imposing in order to advocate for her friend, but she knew that would be a bit difficult when the person you want to impose yourself on is your captain. Law just gave her space to enter the room, closing the door for her.

"What happened?"

"Are you really going to let your girlfriend walk around dying?" she crossed her arms, indignant.

"She said it was just heartburn."

"That was her talking to her doctor. With her boyfriend she would definitely ask for help. Can I give some unsolicited advice captain?" Ikkaku leaned on the table, taking the opportunity to look around.

"I guess I have no choice, right?"

"She's burning up with a fever in her room, she vomited her guts out and can't stand up." with each new symptom, Law was the one who seemed to get paler and more worried. "Take care of her a little. A little affection is also good medicine."

"Right..." he seemed to analyze, waiting for more answers from the woman in front of him.

"I'll ask them to prepare some soup for her and leave it in her room, okay?"

"Could it be." Law turned his back to Ikkaku, ready to leave. "Thank you. This time I won't throw you into the sea out of insolence." he joked, earning a few laughs from the woman.

Law knew something was wrong, now he needed to find out why you didn't ask for his help. He walked quickly and felt his heart shatter when he found you curled up and shaking under the blanket.

"Just let me sleep Ikkaku, I don't know if I can eat right now." your dejected voice murmured, squeezing Law's heart even more.

Now it was all so clear, so obvious that part of the doctor felt ashamed for not having noticed it before. You were so careful with anyone who even cut a piece of their finger, it was obvious you wanted the same treatment.

"Hey, sorry it took me so long." he whispered. You opened your eyes and found Law bent down on your bed, his fingers were removing the strands stuck to your face by sweat. "I'm going to do a quick scan on you."

He warned and then used the sword he carried, analyzing every millimeter of your body. It seemed to be a virus and a resistant one. That would explain the fever and the tremors.

"Let me take proper care of you."

"No." you murmured, feeling his arms go around your legs and back, picking you up. "I already took medicine."

"I know."

"And I don't want to be tied up in an IV." you tried to pull away from him, feeling your stomach drop at the movement.

"I'm not going to medicate you." the blue dome appeared around the two of you.

"And I think I need to throw up."

At the last second, Law changed your fate, taking you to the bathroom. As soon as the gray walls of your room turned into the walls of the bathroom, you reached the floor again, leaning over the toilet and despite the immense urge your body didn't seem to have any more bile to be expelled. It took him a few seconds to follow you, but soon his hands found your hair, holding it with one hand while the other passed your forehead.

"Law." you called and flinched, pressing your own body against yourself. "It hurts."

"I'm so sorry sweetheart." he placed his hand on top of yours, which was pressed against your stomach. "You still have a fever and haven't eaten anything, we need energy for your body." he confirmed, gently lifting you off the ground. "Come on, I'll give you a bath.

"I'm disgusting."

"That's the point." Law spoke and saw you laugh, albeit lightly, which was already a relief for him. "I'm just kidding. Let's try to get this fever down."

Knowing that you didn't have enough strength to even talk, Law guided you to the shower, taking off your clothes while you leaned on him. As soon as the cold water came into contact with your body, you tried to escape and were immediately held by your boyfriend.

"Law!"

"Just a little, I know it's pretty cold." he allowed you to hug him even more and consequently get him wet in the process. "I promise, just a few minutes and I'll take you back to our room."

"If I survive until then."

"Do not say that." He scolded you, even though he knew that your way of dealing with problems was always sarcastic - sometimes even too much.

Law slowly turned off the shower. The first breeze that hit your damp skin made you cling against him and whimper, Law's usually colder skin this time was a warm pleasure to your body.

You felt a drastic difference in the environment and broke away from the man, seeing that you were in his room. Law guided you to sit on the bed and pulled a small blanket over your shoulders while he looked for some clothes for you to wear. Taking advantage of the comfort, you lay down and watched him walk from one side to the other.

"Can you sit down?" He knelt in front of you, using a small towel to dry your still damp skin.

Leaning on his shoulders, you sat on the bed and for a few minutes, you felt like a delicate, small doll. Using the extra strength he had that you lacked, Law dressed your body piece by piece, like a delicate puzzle. Even with the simple touch of your hand on your shoulder, Law could feel you tremble, probably due to the weakness that the virus brought to you.

A few minutes later, you were dressed. A pair of baggy black sweatpants and a blouse of the same size. Surprising you by showing that he had more pieces than the hat adorned with black circles, Law placed a black cap on your head, adjusting your ears so that they were also warm in the fabric.

"Unfortunately, we can't use that." he pushed away the blanket you were about to use. "If you cover yourself up and get hotter than that, it will only make your fever worse."

Avoiding your grumble, Law sat with his coat against the wall and pulled you to sit against his chest. Watching you curl up against his body, Law picked up the small bowl on the table next to him that Ikkaku had probably left as they agreed.

"I do not want it." you tried to move it away with your hand, having used your strength in vain as Law didn't move an inch. "I just want to sleep, just a little."

"Just a few spoonfuls and I'll let you sleep. It's that or more medicine." He warned, seeing you pout at the time. "Come on, I'll help you."

"Sorry to bring you into this."

"You don't need to say sorry." Law wished he could get rid of that virus right away when he saw you grunting in pain when you swallowed the first spoonful of food. "I should have noticed sooner, I know I can be more distant sometimes, but I need you to make it clear when you need me in moments like this."

"But what about the others, if they suspect something?" you accepted the other spoonful of food, the discomfort this time was smaller but still present.

"It's okay as long as you're okay."

Supporting the bowl of soup in one hand and the spoon in the other, Law convinced you to eat just five more spoonfuls, the last one being enough for him to see you push the bowl away and writhe in pain again. Law placed the bowl in the same room he was in before and saw you cling to his body, your eyes already heavy.

"Law you're going to get sick." you mumbled, already practically giving in to sleep.

"Don't worry about that." the last thing you felt was his lips on your forehead. "And if I stay, it will be worth staying with you."

[whimsicalwritingsandmore]

Want You Back | ateez x reader

Pairing: werewolf!ot8!ateez x werewolf!reader

Genre: fluff mostly, romance, poly, a little angst?

Warnings for this chapter: fighting, mention of a sharp object.

Word Count: 1550 words

a/n: yeah, I couldn't wait to share this! I'm lowkey worried I'm being too repetitive in the chapters; I don't think I am when I re-read previous ones but ✨overthinking.✨ so I'll always be grateful for your feedback, and I hope you enjoy! <3

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Chapter 8

Hongjoong flew across the room.

You know when someone is beyond infuriated and enraged, but they maintain an unmoved and unflustered disposition? That was Jisung at the moment. Despite the boiling rage that simmered and seethed inside him, Jisung displayed a calm and undisturbed expression, almost like a statue, and that could never be a good thing. Undeterred by Chan’s urges to stop him, Jisung tossed and hurled Hongjoong around while Yunho and Yeosang attempted to rescue their leader…so they could deal with him themselves.

"Is it fun to mess with someone's feelings? I don't think it is. Maybe you need a really good wake up call, coffee clearly can't help. Don't worry, this won't hurt much...at least for me." Jisung casually stated.

Jeongin lodged himself by the door because he wanted a good view of Jisung in action. Meanwhile, San and Jongho struggled to restrain Seonghwa and Mingi from pummeling Hongjoong, and Wooyoung was torn between cheering for Jisung and helping Yunho and Yeosang.

But then he realized there were enough people to handle the situation and Hongjoong deserved it, so he slipped out of the café and went searching for you. 

Wooyoung was furiously livid but at the same time, he was wretchedly heartbroken. He couldn't believe Hongjoong would ever do something like that and it was eating him alive that he didn't realize sooner. Wooyoung liked to give the benefit of the doubt to people. So, when Hongjoong coaxed him into hanging out with Lila, it was mainly due to the former's reasoning being that Lila was on her own and they should make her feel welcome.

But you also felt alone too and as Wooyoung recalled every time he essentially stood you up and listened to Hongjoong, he could feel his heart crack little by little, the pain being unbearable and unrelenting. He felt like he was slowly losing his mind, the aching feeling over the idea of losing you completely because of his foolishness, was burning like a fever and consuming all of his thoughts. It was like a hurricane, ripping through him with no mercy.

Wooyoung refused to entertain that thought and pushed it away as far away as he could. He was going to fix things on his part, and if you would have him, he would stay here in the human realm with you. He did not mind giving up his status, position and responsibilities. Rather, he preferred to help you with the café. He didn't care for the power and ranking being an alpha brought, he cared about you, and his alpha wanted you, forever and for more. 

Just like the first time he met you.

It was nearing the Christmas season, and Wooyoung convinced Yeosang to venture out to see the activities that were taking place in the main town. However, the latter found the weather to be much too dreary and cold for his liking, so he plopped himself on a bench and sent Wooyoung for a coffee. 

Wooyoung scoured every tent until he stumbled upon yours. Along with Seonghwa, the two of you planned to hand out complimentary coffee and tea for the cold weather alongside some biscuits. When he approached and met you face to face, his heart began to do somersaults and he could feel himself burning up in the cold weather. There was a connection between the two of you that united each other’s hearts. You were graceful, humorous and so pretty, the kind of beauty that radiates from within. As the two of your hands grazed one another and the familiar sparks erupted, it was like every single puzzle piece fit perfectly where it belonged.

And as the other boys came in together, it became clear that the puzzle was complete. 

Wooyoung had no idea where he was going till he saw you standing near a lake. Just like the first time he saw you, you were still charming and enchanting from afar. In an entire big city with so many scenic views, all he could see was you and he rushed to you with no time to waste.

In the meantime, you stood at the lakebed ferociously irate and riotously bitter. You could feel the flashes of irritation and raw rage thrumming through your veins. Your mood sharply decreased and soured like a lemon after the confrontation and in the moment, you wanted to do nothing more and just fiercely smack Hongjoong.

How did it end up like this? 

And was it even going to get better? You had a bad feeling it wouldn’t.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Wooyoung hollered.

Surprised, you blinked in confusion and turned to see Wooyoung hurriedly sprinting towards you.

"Wooyoung? How did you find me?”

"I just wandered around and saw you from across the street."

“You can’t just wander Wooyoung,” you chastised, “You need to be careful out here.”

Wooyoung felt that similar feeling he always felt when you reprimanded him. It felt like home again, when none of this happened.

He stood in front of you and got a good look at your expression. Despite your rigid form, your face was streaked with dry tears. He could imagine all the emotions you were currently processing. All because of them.

He then fell to his knees as he bawled.

"Please don't leave me." he then whimpered.

"Wooyoung..."

"I'm ready to give it all up for you, Y/N. I'll do whatever you need me to. My life means nothing without you in it. Please, please give me a chance."

Wooyoung couldn’t bear to lose you. He silently hoped things would get better from here, but just like you, he too had a bad feeling that loomed in the air.

"Get up Wooyoung." You spoke softly.

How is this going to go? It wasn’t just two of you, there were nine of you. One, who had already dug himself deeper and deeper in a hole, slashed a bond that was meant to be so divine and seraphic. But what about the others? They were willing to repent and atone for their actions. But…was it enough? Was there any possibility of going back to how things were before?

And Hongjoong, how do you just forget all he said and did?

It’s not like you could meet again for the first time.

You assisted Wooyoung from the ground and cupped his face to wipe away the stray tears. However, you felt it again, that bad feeling and suddenly, from your peripheral you noticed a looming figure coming towards the both of you with a sharp object in hand. Noticing the blade in full view as it neared closer, you pushed Wooyoung out of the way and tried to block it. The miscreant stumbled forward, reeling from the block and swung blindly in your direction. Despite the pounding blood in your ears, you outstretched your arm to grab the perpetrator’s wrist, only to have the blade gnash your hand and then feel a sharp sensation in your side.

Wooyoung counterattacked and managed to rip the blade out of his hand before plunging into the culprit. 

You collapsed to the ground, shaking as the pain seared through your body. In your blurred vision, you saw Wooyoung’s silhouette rush towards you, bawling your name like his life depended on it. 

The blade was coated with an extract from the deadly nightshade - crushed belladonna and nerium.

You didn't know what else happened, everything around you became indistinct and all you could remember was just Wooyoung's cries and a slight apparition of Minho before it all went black.

In the meantime, the others felt it. Your bond went desolate again. But unlike last time, this time there was no lingering presence. They couldn’t feel you whatsoever as a blackhole took over instantly.

Chan’s phone snapped everyone out of their trance. Jisung felt the shift in Chan’s aura, and as he zeroed in on Chan’s call from Minho, he knew it wasn’t good. That's the only reason why Jisung let Hongjoong go. Minho spoke loudly amidst the screams from Wooyoung and Chan felt his blood turn cold. 

No, no, no.

This can’t be happening.

“What’s going on?” Seonghwa asked, “Is Y/N okay?”

When Chan spluttered out what happened, an avalanche of pain crashed over them without warning. There was now a profound emptiness in each of them, even Hongjoong, threatening to swallow them whole. Their spirits felt like it was sinking like a stone in water and misery tried to seep in and envelop them like a wet blanket, heavy and smothering.

“We need to go now.” Chan firmly stated.

Each of them bolted out behind Chan leaving Hongjoong and Jisung behind.

Jisung looked at Hongjoong, and saw the grief washing over him but also realization. 

“I had told Mingi I was wary of him, but you? I don’t like you one bit. We’re not done here but if that look in your eyes means anything, then you know you better get to it. All of this is your fault, if you only had a backbone to stand up to your mother. But mark my words Hongjoong, if anything happens to Y/N, I’m coming after your whole family.”

Jisung muttered a spell in Hongjoong’s direction and left Hongjoong to himself and his grief.

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a/n: hello again! just wanted to let new readers know, if you're interested in being part of the taglist, you can send me a private message or in the ask me anything! It'll be easier for me to see! if I missed your message, please PM me and I'll add you in asap! thank you! <3

[lolasimms]

a lots gonna change pt.4

Summary: Married life isn’t great, infidelity ensues and things change.

next chapter

Your home felt lighter with the presence of your sister. She'd spent the better part of her visit getting her niece to warm up to her. The crisp spring weather allowed for the four of you to indulge in picnics, spend time at the beach and shop at different farmers markets.

Lila had taken an instant liking to your sister, and you were glad to see the two get along. While Nara was here, you're sure she attended at least 15 tea parties over the course of two weeks, who's to say she didn't enjoy them, after all she loved the role of Aunt.When the day came, you were sad to see her go, but nobody expected the outburst Lila was to cause when she caught wind of her aunts departure. She whined and whined, which made Nara feel guilty but you quickly promised that she'd be able to visit her soon enough. As a treat, Ellie agreed that Lila come with her to the airport to see off her aunt, and to your surprise she was happy with the compromise.

-

The house felt hollow without the extra presence of your sister, making you feel somewhat sad. The days following her departure felt like the feeling when you'd return from a vacation, and long to go back, home not feeling like it usually did. Except the vacation in question was Nara. You missed your sister dearly and the quietness of the house wasn't helping.

It was now 12 in the afternoon and you were sat on one of the bar stools, eating away at a tasteless bowl of soggy oats. Ellie had set out for an early workout around 8, so she would be back anytime now. You were surprised however, when you hadn't heard any noise from your daughter, which was weird, as she was usually up before you on most mornings. You shrug it off, thinking maybe it's just the hard work and play from preschool that's got her burnt out, after all she was still settling into the routine of consistently attending school. You gaze outside the window, that grants you access to the backyard and smile once you notice your cherry trees had begun to bloom. You'd make a reminder to show Lila once she'd awoken.

You're scrolling on your phone, looking through emails when you are startled by a set of hands grabbing at your waist and the loud sound of ...

"Boo!" Ellie laughs as you shriek loudly in fear.

"What the fuck, was that for" you groan as you clutch your chest , the rate of your heartbeat increasing from the sudden rush of adrenaline.

"I'm sorry baby it was the perfect moment, I had too" she laughs, bringing her head down to kiss you. You accept it and then pull back taking a look at her. Her hair is damp with sweat, and her face is flushed red.

"Whatever, I'll only forgive you cause you look really good right now" you roll your eyes at her as she gives you the biggest smirk.

"Really, you like me all hot and sweaty?" She's returned to kissing you, while also speaking into your mouth, which leaves you all hot and bothered.

"Yeah" you squeak, causing her to laugh at how much of an effect she has on you post workout.

"Where's Lila?" She questions, as she moves to the fridge, and reaches for the water pitcher.

"I think she's still sleeping"

"Really, she's usually up at like 6, that's not like her" she lifts the glass up to her mouth, her eyebrows remain raised.

"That's true, I should probably go check on her" you make your way off of the bar stool and rush up the stairs to Lila's room.

-

You open the door and hear her whispering, letting you know that she's awake. You enter, expecting her to stand from her crib and call out to you but instead, she stays lying down and you can faintly hear her gurgling.

"Lila?" You ask as you walk towards her crib. Lila turns her little face towards you, and you're immediately filled with worry. Her face is red and she's breathing heavily while small tears drip down her cheeks.

"Baby?" You rush to pick her up. Your baby's skin is burning hot, and you can tell she's got a fever.

You go into to Lila's bathroom as fast as you can in search of a wash cloth. Once you've found it you wet the cloth with cool water and dart back to the crib to wash your daughter's face with it. She murmurs quietly, but doesn't fight off the cloth, nor does she pull it to her face.

Pity swells deep in your belly as you watch your daughter tiredly yawn. Lila is usually picky with water, she either loves it or she hates it. So seeing such a neutral reaction from her is odd, this isn't like her at all.

You finish wiping her face, and she is coated in sweat. Her breathing is still ragged and she continuously takes deep breaths, fighting for air and that's the final straw for you.

Despite the weight of your daughter, you quickly make your way down the stairs, to the kitchen where Ellie is stood, looking down at the stove. "Baby!" you call out to her.

She lurches forward at the sound of your panicked voice and turns. "What's wrong y/n?" She asks, shocked. "What's wrong?" She asks, again, rushing over to you as you make your way towards her, with your sickly child in your arms.

"It's Lila," you say, trying to keep the stress out of your voice. "She's really feverish, sweaty, she seems to be in pain, she's struggling to breathe..."you say as you look down at her.

Her face goes ashen. "Let me see her," she says, already reaching out her toned arms.

Lila whines as you hand her over to Ellie and she takes her in her arms. She rubs a hand across her forehead. Her eyebrows creasing.

"I'm going to make a doctor's appointment" she sighs.

-

Lila's paediatrician came to the conclusion that it was just a common cold, and her breathing would be compromised because of some nasal damage she had endured during her birth. Both you and Ellie were instructed to keep watch on her and ensure she was medicated every few hours. You found that your daughter was extremely irritable when sick, refusing to let you or Ellie engage in any activities that did not include giving her attention. Unfortunately for her, the weekend was coming to an end meaning you'd be returning to work the next day.

"Sleep with momma ?" Lila asks Ellie as she carry's her up the stairs. Her head rests on her shoulder, giving you a view of your daughter's tired face, as you follow behind them.

"No baby, you've got to sleep in your crib and be a big girl" as soon as the words leave her mouth, she begins to whine. You couldn't wait until this sickness passed so her clinginess would stop. Ellie sighs and begins to rub her back, just as you make it to the top of the staircase.

"Fine, you'll sleep with us, baby. Don't cry" she gives in to her and she tiredly smiles over her shoulder. You make it into the bedroom, and Ellie changes her into a comfortable set of pyjamas whilst you slip into your night gown.

The three of you sleep together throughout the night, keeping your child calm and soothed whenever she'd cough, sneeze or heave. Lila's tears eventually fade, and she relaxes between the two of you, drifting into a restless sleep.

Ellie's eyes nearly gleam pure green in the dark of the room, as she lifts her head to look you in the eyes. "I... she begins. "I never knew it was possible to love someone this much" she whispers, so as to keep Lila from waking up. "I adore her so much, she's...she's the best thing to have ever happened to me, aside from you."

She reaches out to stroke Lila's face, and her sleeping form nuzzles into her. "I'm so lucky, so so lucky, to have the two of you in my life." She gives the statement, a pang of guilt surges throughout her body, seeing the irony behind her claims.

You smile at her and speak. "M-me too..."

"I never knew it was possible to love someone as strongly as I do you and her," you whisper, as you press your cheek against her hand. She strokes your skin with her thumb before letting go and smiling at you.

"I love you, so much" she whispers gently"

"I love you more" you reply, slowly shutting your eyes and holding a protective arm over your daughter that reaches Ellie. She takes your hand and you fall asleep this way.

Once you're beaten by sleep, Ellie slowly treks down the staircase and retreats to the outdoor patio. Your words cause guilt to spread within her, making her feel like a piece of shit. She was selfish and she knew it, the only thing that let her sleep most nights was denial, denial that what she was doing was wrong. She knew it was time. She had finally decided that tonight she would cut all ties with her. Her, the other woman that is. She contemplates on whether or not she wants to do it, looking down at the contact name with a sickness. The look on your face as you confessed your love and dedication to both her and her child pops into her mind and she finally presses dial.

"Ellie?" Her voice rings through her ears, she can tell she had been sleeping.

"Hi, I- we need to talk"

"Oh- ok... I?" she rambles on, and she can't help but feel even more guilty. She was destroying two lives and it never registered to her that Amelia too had feelings.

"Look, this needs to end, for real this time." Ellie finally lets the words come out of her mouth.

"You said that last time, and still fucked me the next day" she laughs, not taking her words to be serious.

"No, I - I mean it this time. I have a kid and a wife, who I very much love."

"If you really loved her, you wouldn't have cheated on her for what... 5 months straight?" She's being a smart ass, as she knows it will get to her.

"I don't care ok, I'm done. I realised now that this was a huge mistake, I love her and my daughter and I can't keep being selfish, we're done. I don't want us to be on bad terms, if you want some money I'll give it to you, whatever you want just leave my family alone" the silence is deafening and she sits their waiting for a reply from her.

"Fine. But just so you know Ellie, you're making a big mistake." She scoffs and ends the call immediately. Deleting her contact off of her phone and shakes her head, who did she think she was to threaten her? Although she's angry she also feels like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders, and she can now be the mother and wife both you and Lila deserve. Her affair was just a minor bump in the road, nobody needed to know about it. It was a secret she would have to carry to her grave.

She returns to the bedroom to find Lila fast asleep, with her hands gripping your nightgown, she slowly shuts the door behind her and makes her way to the bed. She sets herself down slowly, as to not wake the both of you up but you are risen from your sleep when you hear the rustling of the comforter.

"Honey?" You question tiredly as you squint, trying to make of her shadowed figure.

"Shhh, go back to bed baby" she whispers, while sweetly stroking your shoulders and you obey.

-

"She'll be fine, just go or you'll be late to work" Ellie is-currently shooing you from the house, as you're reluctant on whether or not you should call off work for Lila's sake. She assures you that she'll be fine and you finally give in and make your way out the door.

-

"It's very interesting, it's so good to have someone so passionate on this topic to talk to, all my friends think I'm a bore" Abby says, as the both of you chat away in your office.

"I 100% agree, my partner previously worked in this field but now she thinks it's a mundane line of work, which to me is quite offensive" you say, making sure to mock Ellie's voice at just the right pitch.

"You're kidding?" She feigns shocked.

"No I swear, she said it was boring. Which is why she switched to pursuing law, she always been good at arguments."

"She sounds pretentious" she says, with a smile.

"Oh she is, but in the best way possible" you say, a smile on your face just thinking about your wife.

Abby hums and the two of you are interrupted by the sound of your phone ringing, the vibrations coming from inside your desks draw compartment. You apologise to Abby for the interruption and pull your phone out to check on who was calling.

Incoming call, Ellie

"Speaking of the devil, she's calling right now, excuse me for a sec" she silently nods, at your request and you answer the call.

"Everything okay honey?"

"No, Lila won't stop crying, she says she wants you" she sounds exhausted and you can hear the sounds of your child crying in the background.

"Babe, I can't leave work right now" you retort, smiling at Abby as she looks at you with raised eyebrows, her way of teasing.

"So what do I do, she won't stop?" Ellie sounds desperate and you wish dearly to put her out of her misery, but you couldn't leave work, it was only your second week back and you wanted to make up for the year you had spent away.

"Why don't you bring her here, come for a little visit. It's almost my lunch break anyways" she sighs and agrees, and you're happy to come to a conclusion that benefits all.

"Everything okay?" Abby asks as you set your phone down on the desk.

"Yeah, just my kid. She's been sick recently and she wants to see me. Her moms going to bring her over... probably spend my lunch break with them" she gives a strange pout and you smile at her, confused.

"What's the pout for?" You question, bringing your hands to sit under your chin.

"We always spend lunch break together" you swallow at that, was she trying to flirt with you?

"Oh my god" you shake your head at her silliness.

"What? It's true. How could you put your daughter over me?" She pretends to act offended, which only makes you laugh.

"Your funny, plus I would never put my daughter over you, what kind of mother would that make me?" You play along with her joke and she can't help but smile bashfully at you.

-

Abby decided to leave you to complete some work, and you were certainly relieved when she made her way out of your office. Sure she was nice, but you couldn't help but feel like she was getting a tad bit too friendly. She knew you were in a relationship right? It's not like you hadn't brought up the fact that you had a wife and a child more than once, so why did she feel comfortable just openly flirting with you?

The sound of your desk phone rings and you reach for it and answer.

"Ms. Y/ln, speaking how can I help you?"

"Y/n, this is Uyen, your wife is here requesting to see you, should I let her up?"

"Ofcourse"

-

Your office door opens, and in comes Ellie, with a tired looking Lila sat in her arms, her other hand carries a bag of what you were assuming was takeout.

"Mommy" Lila reaches out to you and you happily walk over to Ellie and take her into your arms. You kiss her temple and lean forward towards Ellie. She meets you halfway for a brief kiss and then proceeds to kiss your temple.

"I got you lunch, figured it would be easier than leaving" she says as she places the brown paper bag on the coffee table.

"Thanks honey, how's her fever?" You ask as you sit down on the couch and press your hands on Lila's neck and forehead.

"Fevers going down but her nose is still blocked"

"Poor thing" you say, looking down at your daughter who's head is tucked into your chest. Ellie makes quick work at opening the paper bag and handing you three different boxes of food.

"Stir fry?" You question.

"And spring rolls and dumplings and a fortune cookie" she smiles, knowing these were your favourites.

"I could kiss you right now!" You exclaim.

"Please do" she smirks, before setting the wooden cutlery down and leaning in for a kiss, you lean towards her to grant her her wish. Lila whines again and you roll your eyes at her theatrics.

"Can I put you down on the armchair, so I can eat?" You question and she shakes he head, no.

"So I can't eat my lunch?" You feign shocked at the drama she's putting on display.

"Stay with mommy" she holds onto you tighter and you sigh. You'd be eating lunch with a toddler in your lap and there was nothing you could do about it.

"Lila give mommy a break" Ellie says and she simply looks at her and musters the best eye roll she can. Both you and Ellie are amazed at her attitude and can't help but laugh.

"Where did she learn that?" She asks, her eyes wide and bewildered by her daughters newfound display of attitude.

"I don't even know" you laugh, then cover your mouth. This wasn't the kind of behaviour you would want her to think was okay, but you'd let it slide only because she was sick and easily irritable. You continue eating, occasionally feeding Lila, whenever she'd allow you to. You take a sip of your bottled water, when there's a knock at your office door.

"Am I interrupting?" Abby asks as she walks into the office, with a grin on her face.

"Oh of-course not Abby, have a seat" you say, slightly glancing to Ellie who is seated next to you, expressionless. Abby sits on the armchair opposite the couch and smiles at Ellie.

"This is my wife, Ellie and this is my very grumpy daughter, Lila" you lift Lila's hands and wave to Abby. She irritably brings it back down and nuzzles deeper into you.

"Nice to meet you Ellie, and Lila, she's very cute" you whisper a small thank you. And Ellie finally breaks her silence.

"Nice to meet you to Abby" she says and Abby nods at her.

"I didn't want to break our tradition so I figured I'd bring you a cupcake from the cafe" Abby holds out the clear box and you delightfully accept the treat.

"Oh, thank-you, I was craving one of these all day" you inspect the cupcake and place it on the coffee table.

"What's your tradition?" Ellie interrupts, looking from you to Abby.

"Oh y/n and I spend our lunch breaks together, at the cafe downstairs, they've got great food" Abby says and Ellie nods.

"We'll, just thought I'd deliver the treat to you myself. But I should get going, wouldn't want to interrupt family time" she stands up and shakes Ellie's hand and then makes her way over to you, leaving a kiss on your cheek. If you could, you're sure you would be blushing from embarrassment. Abby leaves the office and Ellie's fists are clenched.

"I don't like her" she mutters, turning to look at you.

"Ellie, I-" you're cut off before you can even complete your sentence.

"Who the fuck is she to be bringing you TrEaTs" she mocks Abby's voice.

"Are you seriously mad?" You're laughing now, the fact that she found there to be any competition between herself and Abby was humorous to you.

"Yes and the kiss on the cheek, really?"  You shift Lila in your laps and continue looking at Ellie.

"Everyone does that it's etiquette"

"Fuck etiquette, this isn't France" you can't help but laugh at her clever joke.

"Enough of that, can we just enjoy the rest of our lunch break in peace? As a family" you make sure to add in the last part as you know it will coax her well enough to drop the subject of Abby.

"Fine" she mumbles, trying to suppress a smile. You shake your head at her pettiness and reach for your fortune cookie.

"Okay fortune cookie time, but remember we can't tell each other okay?" She reaches for her cookie and nods.

'Your road to glory will be rocky, but fulfilling'

"Oooo mine is really good, what about yours baby?" You question as you scrunch your fortune and make a mental note to remember it. Ellie opens her cookie and proceeds to read her fortune.

'A guilty conscience, needs no accuser'

taglist;

@moonlightdivine @maybe-cece @macaroni676 @sawaagyapong @katiemars @ellieseater @dakota-dream @joliettes @hebrokeimup

[busycloudy]

AAAAA CONGRATS ON 200 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂

You deserve it!! I'm so happy your getting the recognition you deserve!!!

If I may place an order lol! Could I please have, a coffee, with tiramisu and a cobra on the side? Thank you so much! I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!

Coffee(Fluff), Tiramisu(Getting sick), Cobra Lollipop(Jamil Viper)

A/N: Thanks for the congrats Faye!!! I'm quite happy myself! I never really thought I would be noticed much or get to 200 this quickly! Well, I hope you enjoy!

Cobra Taking Care Of You

You coughed and coughed, hackled and hackled. You're throat was burning. It felt like a fire was in it. You suddenly sneezed. "Alright, I've got the thermometer..." Jamil walked towards you, putting tissues on your nightstand.

Jamil had agreed to take care of you while you were sick. You had insisted there was no need, and asked what if he got sick, but he didn't care. He just needed you to be well again.

Jamil took your temperature, which showed up to be a 100.4. "My my, seems you have a fever" Jamil sighed. " I'll make you some tea and chicken noodle soup, seeing that you're... Cold" Jamil was damn right you were cold. You had about 5 different blankets on you. "And also the fact that the only thing you've eaten today is crackers. Get some rest while I'm making the stuff" Jamil then got off the couch and went off to the kitchen.

"MC...

MC..."You heard a voice, and felt a tapping on your shoulder. You opened your eyes. "Your chicken noodle soup and tea is at the table" Jamil had a slight smile. " Mk.. " You muttered, slowly getting up with a blanket wrapped around you.

You took a seat at the dinner table, grabbing the spoon in your bowl and eating the soup slowly, taking breaks to drink tea. Soon enough it was all finished. "Get out from under the covers for a bit so I can get and accurate temperature" Jamil said. "It'll only be five minutes, not too long"

Jamil soon took your temperature, which was much lower than before, but you still had a bit of a fever. "Put this ice pack on your head, and drink some of this . medicine. You can take a nap afterwards. I'll be with you here to take care of you" Jamil smiled. "I'll be here with you always"

[sicjimin]

— Not Even Witchcraft Could Help —

a.n : hi! wow it's been like .. 3 months. it took a lot from me to muster up this supposed to be drabble .. i think i have lost my touch for writing lol because i dont even know what is this or is this good or ... whatever 🥲 i hope anyone that read this .. like it ? i guess ? this supposed to be a silly little drabble where Yoongi is a witch and trying to help his little sick human Jimin, but i got carried away as always so it becomes long .. im so sorry if this absurd or make nosense in anyway 😁

tw : emeto

To his defends, Jimin can say he has a quite strong immune. Well yeah, maybe isn't as strong as Seokjin, or Yoongi—his boyfriend—that could still function even after get rained on, living off 3 hours of sleep, and other quite sick-inducing habits. He got his fair shares of flu, but it's never bad. Maybe a nightly fever, congested nose, few days of cough, and then he's better.

It started when Jimin got home from his practice session with fever this afternoon. Stumbling into his apartment with half conscious mind as dizziness muddled his brain. He plopped into the couch, curled himself small there—tugging his coat as far as it can be to cover himself because the act to get a blanket properly is waay to exhausting for him. He just wanted to sleep. It didn't take long for him to lost against sleep, and only being awakened by a panicked Yoongi, as his boyfriend fussing to touch his forehead cheeks and even arms.

So, he can't really blame Yoongi to be this ... awkward tending his emotional-sick traits, as he currently sniffling after a whole good minutes of crying after throwing up bouts of the older (supposed to be) healing teas.

"Jimin-ah .. love .. you're sick? You're burning up! and why you still in this clothes? How long have you been here? Have you eat anything?"

Jimin groans, burrying his face further into one of their fluffy cushions as he felt even groggy after his short naps. "Mhm .. i think so?", he managed to croak out before his throat decided that the effort to speak was too much and burst into a fit of coughs. "My head hurts .. and cold ..", he added after sucking a big gush of fresh air. "I feel awful hyung"

He barely remember anything after that ; he vaguely remembered Yoongi fussing around him with warm chamomile tea, making him eat few spoonful of food, then he remembered getting drawn into a warm bath and suddenly he was on the bed. He also remembered Yoongi cuddled up against him, tucking the blanket high up under his chin, and play with his hair until everything is pitched black for him.

Jimin didn't know how long he has been asleep. But his distorted-feverish mind know that it's still night time or maybe dawn, judging from their dim bedroom with no hint of sunlight from the curtains—and soft snores from his boyfriend. Jimin stirs a little, feeling his stomach rumbles, except its not in a hungry way—but in a "i'm about to puke" kind of way. He winces, trying not to let out any moans or groans of discomfort as he shuffles away from the older sturdy chest. He huffs, grabbing his phone to check the time, but his eyelids seem to weigh a ton. His brain is foggy and lethargic as he rolls further.

"Ugh..." he mutters, putting down his phone and trying to get comfortable—coming into a realization that he's not awake by his own will. Not that his body decided to wake him up because he already got enough sleep; but because he's reaching the peak of his sickness.

Unfortunately, the little movement only worsens the feeling churning inside his bloated stomach—it keeps roiling around, making him feel like he'll be sick to his guts any minute now. The faint sense of dizziness that makes the bed spins a little when he moves also did not help his predicament.

With great effort, Jimin tries to move and sit up properly. His stomach rumbles more fiercely with each movement, the cramps growing in intensity. It's taking everything he got not to vomit, as the acidic bile keeps churning around inside of him. He takes a deep breath, trying to hold it all down as he slowly gets to his feet—he's going to be sick, and it's better safe than sorry. He didn't want to make Yoongi cleaned up the sheets right when he wakes up later.

Everything hurts.

"Fuck... this... this is not good...", Jimin mumbles, as he hobbles slowly to the bathroom—hands circling around his mid section as his guts growling and gurgling louder and louder with each step. He can taste the food Yoongi made him to eat few hours ago on his tongue as he burps on the bathroom treshold. He closes the bathroom door slowly, not wanting to make such a commotion that could wake Yoongi up. He huffs, closing his eyes as he grabs the edge of the toilet—feeling his inside rolls like clothes in washing machine—and begins to cough and gag. It was empty at first, but its thicken the nausea until he can't hold it back anymore. The foulness pours from his mouth in a heavy stream. His stomach heaving violently, pushing and contracting against itself as water and half digested food rushing to get out of his body. It's horrible, but it feels like some kind of relief.

"Ah ..", Jimin moans once it's over. He closes his eyes, breathing hard and gulping air, waiting for the next wave to hit—knowing that it's only the beginning. His clammy hands reached over his stomach, he hissed a little as the coldness of his palm burns against his feverish body, and begins to gently rubs it.

It aches.

"Min .. are you in there?"

Jimin is too busy shivering and wiping bile off his face to respond to Yoongi's voice right away. He leans up against the bowl, his body trembling, as he tries to catch his breath. "I... I'm okay. Just... got sick. That's all. I'm fine." The sourness of his voice sounds like it was dragged up from his stomach.

Jimin hears the footsteps coming closer, but he barely could pay any attention to it as he instinctively hunch over to brace for the next wave of retching. The bathroom door opens and he shut your eyes—already feeling water creeping up to his throat.

"Baby .. why didn't you wake me up?", Yoongi's deep yet soothing voice drawn around him, followed by his hand tracing along Jimin's spines. Jimin shuddered at the touch.

Yoongi continuous mumbles feels like a spell against the ringing on his ears. "This ...", Jimin spits as he tries to catch his breath, "Is digusting"

"I—", as Jimin attempts to speak, another surge of vomit rises up in his throat. He gags and it pushes out, this time with even more force. It's almost like he has to get his stomach's entire contents out as soon as possible before his body calms down. He grips the toilet bowl and shuts his eyes tightly.

"Breathe .. Jimin-ah, breathe .. you're okay .. let it out"

He hears the older chuckles, before a tissue comes into his eyesight. Jimin slumps down, and mumbles a small thankyou as he cleans up his nose and lips.

Gosh .. he must've look like a whole mess.

"You're sick, that's justified", Yoongi hums, tucking the younger sweaty hair in, "Are you feeling better?"

Jimin doesn't answer him right away as he tries to regain his strength slowly to come back to him. The nausea has subsided. But he's still reeling. His head still feels woozy. Not to mention his body feels exhausted and shaky from what just happened. "Mhm .. still nauseous though", he croaks out as he pats his stomach, assessing if it's safe for him to move around. "I will wait for few minutes here .. i'm afraid i will puke again if i move", he decides with a sigh, leaning against his boyfriend that quick to accept the sudden add of weight.

"Do you want something?", Jimin closes his eyes as he feel Yoongi's chest rumbles, "Mhm ... can you be my witch boyfriend right now and musters up your tea? Anything that could make this sickness away in 5 minutes .. i feel like death hyung .."

Jimin didn't need to rolls his body to see that the older is rolling his eyes as the latter scoffs, then there's a pinch on his cheeks.

Jimin pouts.

"You're a brat, you know. You hate those tea"

Jimin peels himself away, squeezing his eyes when the bathroom tilts a little.

"Please hyung? I think it's better than anything now", he whines as he rubs his nose bridge, then grinning when Yoongi sighing and leans forward, "Okay .. i will try to make it", he mumbles, ruffling Jimin's hair as he stepped out toward the kitchen.

"Hyung! Can you make it sweeter? It was sooo bitter last time"

"Mhm, noted, Your Majesty"

It takes more than few minutes, as Jimin already successfully migrates towards the bed without hurling his inside and dozes off few times, when Yoongi shuffles into the room with warm cup on his hand. "Here ..", the latter helps him sits up and hands him the tea. "Don't force yourself to drink it .. i know it tastes awful", he mutters sheepishly, maybe borderline worried as his eyes never leave the younger—as if he wants to tackles the cups away.

"Thank you hyung", Jimin mumbles as he takes a breath from the steam. It smells normal, and he feels a bit of awe as he could feel his head getting clearer and not as fuzzy as before.

This gonna works.

He takes a small sips, an icky, syrupy flavour immediately glued itself to the inside of Jimin's mouth, enveloping his teeth and tongue in a syrupy goo. He bravely gulped down the dreadful concoction, doing his utmost to stifle a gag and not reveal just how horrendous the tea was. As he cautiously lifted his gaze back to Yoongi, that eyeing him worriedly, he offered a nervous smile and a single nod, "Thanks, love, it tastes...better"

"Really?", Yoongi lifts one of his eyebrows, doubting his kind by default boyfriend, but also there's a hint of hopeful tone in there.

Jimin hums, taking a deep breath and take another gulp.

But maybe a sick body really can't lie—the response was fast and immediate, barely giving both of them time to react, as Jimin suddenly lurch into a loud gag. Yoongi's eyes widen, quickly swiped trashcan from the corner of their room, and places it under the younger lips as Jimin looks like he's one second away from bursting.

"Hyung .. i'm sorry—", Jimin chokes out before all the concoction he just drank and whatever was left over from the earlier gushing out of him in a big wave. It doesn't take much energy to bring everything up as suddenly everything is nauseating for him. His mouth feels like it's coated thick with the taste of the tea and it's overwhelming. His stomach responding to it with eagerly twisting his guts out and about. For a solid minutes, it's only Jimin's loud belches and gags along with Yoongi's worried murmurs that could be heard in that room.

"Hyung ... fuck .. i'm so sorry", Jimin sniffles when he's out of the nausea spells. His eyes glassy as he watches the older quietly put away the soiled trashcan, and takes away the cup from his shaky hands.

Jimin is about to cry as his words meet with silence—he watches the older busying himself to clean everything up, and it's when Yoongi in the bathroom, cleaning the trashcan that the bubbles burst. He feels guilty ; knowing that it's literally ass cracked of time, Yoongi is definitely tired after long day of works just like him, he had taking care of him earlier and yet Jimin not only thrown up his food—but also the tea that he Asks for. He already promised to drink it and push the older to make it when Yoongi himself know how it will turn out—Gosh .. he's really an awful boyfriend. Yoongi has doing a lot for him and yet—

"Jimin-ah .. hey .. breathe baby", Jimin didn't even realized that his breathe has come in a short intervals until Yoongi caresses his tears-coated cheeks, "Breathe .. it's okay, why are you crying?"

Jimin sniffles, for some reason, the question only makes his guilt swells even more. He looks up, letting Yoongi get ahold of his eyes—hoping that the witch could read his mind even his sight is blurry with tears—before letting himself falls into his boyfriend shoulders as the latter pulls him in with a chuckles, "Baby .. it's okay .. like i tell you earlier, i know the tea is awful. It's fine", Yoongi tries to say gently but the words fall flat and Jimin whines again. "No ..."

"What no?", Yoongi giggles now, "You just have thrown up too, there's no way your body can handle a bitter liquid shoved up like that .. it's okay", he adds, "Now let's not get yourself worked up, and rest .. okay? I will make you chamomile tea later, a normal one, no witchcraft involved"

[mrsnancywheeler]

This one is so long I’m so sorry!!!

But Finnick is just so Hozier (I love a whipped man. Not like gale tho)

Finnick is “Work song” by Hozier it’s not even funny.

~~~~

“Boys, workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby”

Despite everything that has happened to him he persists because he thinks about his sweet girl. The pain, the hardships, the struggles, he can get through it all if he just thinks about her

~~~~~~

“I'm so full of love I could barely eat”

Just his all encompassing love, his love is enough to nourish him, he doesn’t need anything else she just needs his sweet girl

~~~~~

“There's nothing sweeter than my baby”

I mean….he literally calls her “sweet girl”. He thinks the world of her. She’s kind, she’s caring, to him she’s the definition of “sweet”. He thinks the world of her, nothing is better then her.

~~~~~

“'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me”

Again more just thinking the world of his sweet girl. There’s no one better, no one who makes him feel anywhere remotely close to what his sweet girl makes him feel. Just being around her fixes his mood, fixes his day.

And plus to him she literally tastes sweet, like peaches.

~~~~~

“When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her”

So I feel like this is so much about 1) Finnick also having kinda a death wish sometimes but 2) feeling the need to live so he can be with her. He fought in 13 for her, he’d fight tooth and nail for her.

All he needs to know is that she’s gonna be there. He will crawl from the depths of the earth, the depths of display to go back home (aka her arms)

~~~~~~

“Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin”

OKAY BUT LIKE THINK ABOUT THR CONTEXT OF WHAT FINNUCK WAS GOING THROUGH WHEN HE MET HER??? ITS SO FITTING

~~~~~~

“And I was burnin' up a fever

I didn't care much how long I lived

But I swear I thought I dreamed her”

Again think about what he was going through when he met her. It’s not like he valued his own life all that much and that year he spent with her felt like a dream, like something that was too good to be true.

~~~~~

“She never asked me once about the wrong I did”

“My babe would never fret none

About what my hands and my body done”

“If the Lord don't forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me”

This is getting long so I’ll have these lines together…so like again during the first year of their relationship. Finnick feels very guilty about the death he caused, that he’s a bad person, but his sweet girl never once held it against him, never once blamed him. She never even asked. Despite everything he’s done she’s still with him

~~~~~

“When I was kissing on my baby

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamplight I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me”

AGAIN!!! Being with her is what defines his happiness. Those secrete moments between them, the ones in their home, when the Capitol isn’t with them, he was as free as he could be. Heaven and hell meant nothing being he was with her

~~~~

Anyway I love Finnick and I love Hozier

-🌾anon

you're all good pookie 💕

THIS. you're literally so correct with this, and he's the adorable, loving kind of whipped for his sweet girl

when he's in the depths of suffering or hardships he still only thinks about his sweet girl. how he needs to protect her and get back to her no matter what it takes, the games, the rebellion, the war, whatever he's got to do

and she truly is everywhere for him, like when he smells what he thinks might be peaches in his food and is consumed with grief because it makes him think of her. and regardless of how we as an audience might read into her actions as more harsh or impulsive, he sees only the good parts, her flaws are just things he has nothing but sympathy and love for. she does most of what she does out of a place of care of self-hate, and he just loves her endlessly. when he's without her, life is bitter.

yes yes yes, he needs her to stay as something he can come back too, to work for, to give him reason to keep living. he begs her not to go into the quell, he does all he can do she won't be on the squad. he won't let death get him when he knows he can come back to his sweet girl. if she's in the heat of danger and something happens, he doesn't think he'll be able to weather that and knows she wouldn't be able to either, which he could never forgive himself for, even in death.

YES finnick was a young, drunk teenage boy living in peak opulence, having everything at his fingertips, endless parties, and drinks, and fun, but then there's her. she feels so right, it's just too good to be true, to be real, because she's so perfect for him. he understands her and she understands him in a way that no one else can.

he's fresh out of the games really, like a year or so later and of course he's still wrecked with guilt, and always with the nightmares. she's so comforting, she doesn't pry, lets him open up whenever he wants too, and when he does she's nothing but loving. reminding him that he didn't have a choice and all the things he did just brought them together and he's starstruck with how endlessly kind she is. he can't fathom how she puts no blame on him, and he feels the same way when she comes back from her games.

when they can just purely be together, be themselves it's the most free he's ever felt and nothing else he's ever done or felt guilty for matters because it's just the two of them. his sweet girl in his arms, someone he loves more then life itself and he can drown in her very being because of the pure joy it creates

and that's so real of you, he's a Hozier of a man ❤️

[hathorneheiress]

Grayson Hawthorne sickfics pt.1

This was a request from @noth1in1g and I am honored to do it.

I am going to switch POVs so I hope it is not to confusing.

Grayson's POV.

My day started like any other day. I wearily climbed out of my plush, king sized bed to my closet in the other room. I was always tired, never seeming to get enough sleep, but I was even more so today.

I pulled a thirty-thousand-dollar, jet black suit from off it's hanger. I slipped into it as easily as most people do a seat shirt and jeans. Going through my usually morning rituals of brushing my teeth, combing my hair, and shaving.

Staring at myself in the over sized mirror in my enormous bathroom, I noticed how red my face looked. I felt hot, which was no surprise since I am always hot. Placing the back of my hand to my burning forehead, I knew I had a fever.

Ignoring my aching limbs and feverish body, I proceeded downstairs to breakfast.

Everyone was already seated in the massive dining room. Hardly hungry, I nevertheless picked a few things and sat down.

Nibbling on a strawberry, I listened as Avery and Jameson talked about what they were planning to do for the day.

"I just know there is more secrets left to be found Heiress. I'm sure they're hidden in the walls."

"Really Jameson. We have checked several times and have found nothing."

"Well I am not giving up."

I drowned out their conversation. Some new mystery to be solved and both were eager to solve it first. They tried to pull me in, but I declined. I was tired of playing the old man's games.

"Are you alright?" Nash's southern drawl brought me back to reality.

"What?" I asked.

"I said are you alright? You don't look to good. Did you get any sleep last night."

I stiffened. I didn't need him babying me. "I'm fine." I replied curtly. Realizing that I wasn't going to eat anymore, I stood to leave. My legs shook and I almost fell back into my chair.

Nash cocked his head to the side. Concern appearing on his face. "Want to rectify that statement little brother?"

I bristled at his words. "No, I do not. I can take care of myself." And with that I left.

I returned to my office to get some work done. Sitting in the chair, I could feel myself getting shaker as time went on. Chills and body aches came with a sudden force. Felling sick to my stomach, I tried to stand, but my legs wouldn't move.

Trying not to panic I tried again to stand. I succeeded. I took a few steps toward the bathroom before my legs went totally out from under me. I fell, with my head banging against the floor. Everything went black.

Nash's POV

I watched as Grayson staggered out of the dining room. He was by no means alright, but I tried to respect his wishes by not interfering. He had always been like that, since he was very young. He didn't need my help. He could take care of himself just fine.

And he could, but he also needed to realize that it's ok to ask for help. Trying not to let it bug me, I joined Libby in the kitchen. For an hour we made and frosted over a hundred cupcakes.

"That was fun." I said, leaning down to give her a kiss.

"It was. We should do it more often."

"Yes." I agreed "we should." She went to go find Avery and I was left alone. My earlier concern for Grayson grew when he hadn't been seen in several hours.

I decided to check on him. Most likely it would end in him getting upset that I had to see how he was doing, but I didn't care. He was my brother and I cared about him.

I made it to his office within minutes. I knocked gently. "Gray? It's me, Nash. Are you doing alright?"

No answer. I knocked again, and then pushed open the door. I heart stopping sight lad before me.

Grayson was sprawled on the ground, still and stiff. Rushing to his side I turned him over. I chill went up my spine when I felt how hot he was. His breathing seemed fine, even though there was a small wound from where he fell.

I swooped him up in my arms, hardly realizing how heavy he actually was. Laying him gently on the soft bed, I quickly undid his collar and then got a cold wash cloth, draping it over his burning forehead.

I knew he wasn't doing well. He keeps over working himself, and now he is going to have to pay the price. I continue to cool his body with damp cloth while trying revive him at the same time.

Still nothing.

I realize it could be awhile before anything could happen. Trying not to panic, I pull out my phone.

It was time to call in reinforcements.

So part one is done. Not sure how long this will be, but I realized I wasn't going to be able to do it in one part. I hope you like it.

If you have any ideas or wishes, please let me know.

[bellysoupset]

hii! i wanted to request something with wendy and jonah bc omg their friendship is so precious to me and i need more of them :’)

i’d love for wendy to be the sickie (emeto and high fever pretty please?) and i was thinking jonah could maybe find out she’s really not doing well bc she’s kinda delirious over text and not making any sense? adding vince as a second caretaker would also be awesome teehee but no pressure!

also if you hate this idea then literally anything wendy+jonah would be good enough lmao i just love their friendship so freaking much 🫶🏽

I loved this idea! People have been asking for some sickee Wendy for a while, so I hope this one delivers! TY for the request 💕

----

It had been ages since Jonah had last gone out with Wendy. Between Vince's car accident, their opposing schedules, classes starting back up and everything else, he couldn't remember the last time they had talked despite being on joint medical duty every other night.

Jonah smiled as he felt JD rubbing between his ankles, circling him. He crouched down, petting her behind her ear and heard a huff.

"Don't give this traitor attention, Jasmine Dean Wagner," Leo scoffed from the couch. He had his arms crossed and was pouting and while most of it was played up for the sake of humor, Jonah knew part of it was real too.

"You go out with the guys all the time," Jon smiled, picking up the kitten and planting a kiss on her little head, carrying her back to the couch.

"It's not the same," Leo said, reaching to snatch the cat and snuggling her to his chest, "none of the boys are trying to steal me away from you."

"And Wendy is?" Jonah rolled his eyes and leaned in, planting a kiss over Leo's pout, "no one is stealing me away. Don't wait up," leaning over the couch, almost upside down, he planted a kiss on Leo's forehead and gave JD one last scratch behind her ears.

"I'm changing the locks while you're gone!" Leo yelled behind him, but Jonah ignored it.

Wendy was waiting for him outside her building and she was dressed for the thirties. Gone was the jeans and frilly shirts he saw her wearing in between shifts, today she was clad in a puffy short dress that caused him to roll his eyes in an amused manner.

"Ariana Grande called, she wants her closet back."

"She can come fight me for it," Wendy smiled, entering the car, "I'm so excited."

There were certain hobbies he could only indulge with Wendy. Leo, with much pleading, might watch an A24 movie, but he didn't like it. Going to an amateur queer cinema showing? That was out of question.

Wendy, in the other hand, was jumping up and down with excitement, her arm locked with his and talking nonstop about all the new artists.

It was in a dimly warehouse, the type of place Jonah would never step foot in. Wendy had been the one to find out about them and she was the one who had the tickets.

"Just pick wherever you want to sit and don't forget to cheer and clap if you think the short is worth it. This is a safe space for tears," the boy at the front desk told them and Jonah had to press his lips together not to laugh, "in between sessions we'll have food carts. Enjoy your night."

"It's a safe space for tears," Jonah whispered in her ear, voice all mocking and Wendy jammed her elbow on his side.

"Bet you'll cry."

The first movie was a comedy, so he doubted that. However by the third one, if his eyes burned a little and he had to swallow the knot in his throat... It was none of Wendy's business.

"Here," she handed him a hot dog, stuffed with everything, "fuel up."

"This cannot be safe to eat," Jonah eyed it weirdly, cringing as Wendy wolfed down on her own. She rolled her eyes.

"It's good! Just have one bite."

With much prodding and pushing, he took one bite. By now he was starving so he blamed it on his hunger, because Jon was pretty sure that was the best hot dog he had ever eaten.

He leaned back against the plastic chair, stretching his legs ahead and Wendy smiled at him, "admit it. It's great."

"It's alright."

"Damn, doctor Banks!" she teased, pushing his leg, "a compliment from you!"

"You're such a prick, Wendy," he rolled his eyes.

She was all smiles as she leaned on his side, head resting on his shoulder and finished off her hot dog. The lights turned off once more for the second part of the showing.

He was sucked in by it. The next two were gory horror movies, one of them framing the queer experience through the eyes of a werewolf and while the special effects were more than a little choppy and the acting far from stellar, Jonah was mesmerized. So much so he barely noticed Wendy shifting on her seat multiple times.

It was at the very ending of the last short movie that she got up, pushing his leg, "I need some fresh air," she mumbled and Jonah handed her her purse without thinking, eyes glued to the screen.

The movie ended and he got up, feeling dizzy and floored. The director was sitting just a couple seats ahead - the joys of amateurish cinema - so Jon walked up to them, almost bouncing on his feet.

By the time he got outside, the whole place was basically deserted.

"There you are!" Jonah exclaimed as he saw Wendy leaning against his car, "what are you doing out here, it's freezing!"

"Jon-"

"I talked with the director of the last movie, they're really really cool, Dee. You should've been there. Invited them over for dinner, Leo's going to d- Wendy?"

Only then he got a good look of her face. Wendy was more than pale, she was basically transparent and she was shaking, whole face glowing with the clammy sweat.

"Wendy, what's wrong?"

"I don't feel well," she sighed and he noticed she was hugging her middle. Her dress was puffy and it started right under her chest, so he couldn't see her stomach at all, but he cringed just at the thought, "I'm sorry, Jon..."

"I said those hot dogs weren't safe to eat," he scoffed, moving closer and already feeling vaguely nauseous himself. Had them both gotten food poisoning? Wendy was almost an entire foot shorter than him, maybe it had hit her harder and sooner...?

"I don't think..." she shuddered, "I don't think it's food poisoning, Jon... I'm freezing."

Knowing what she meant, he cupped her face and met blazing hot skin, "Oh darling..." Jon groaned, "you're burning up."

She shivered again and he wrapped an arm around her, opening the car door, "c'mon, I'll drive you home."

She got in obediently and Jonah quickly circled the car, getting in the driver's side, "this hit me out of nowhere..." Wendy moaned, leaning her head back.

"A fever this high?" Jonah frowned, hand cupping her forehead, then her neck, "bullshit, Wendy."

"Uhm?" she groaned, turning her head to look at him through dazed eyes, "what do you mean?"

"There's no way you had a fever this high just hit you out of nowhere, Wendy," he pulled his hand back, starting to drive "were you feeling sick before?"

"No," she scoffed, shoving his thigh, "no, I was fine... I had a headache earlier, but I thought it was just stress..."

Jonah huffed in discontent, but didn't continue to antagonize her. He was getting a headache from stress. Without thinking, he reached in and squeezed her knee, in a reassuring manner.

"Uhm," Wendy planted her hand over his and leaned forward, her forehead meeting the dashboard, "I think... Pull over, Jon."

Although she was still enunciating her words quite well, he didn't take any chances. He turned up the emergency lights and pulled over the side of the empty road.

Wendy let out a groan as she opened the door and staggered out to the back of the car.

He appreciated her having half a mind about his sympathy sickness, but it didn't sit right with him. He watched her via the rearview mirror, leaning over the back, gagging once, twice and then disappearing from view.

Jon cringed, throwing his door open, "Wendy? Are you okay?"

"I'm fi-INE!" she yelled back and he sat there, heart on his throat, one leg in and one out. He drummed his fingers nervously against the steering wheel, hearing another retch and then a whimper, followed by sobs.

"Fuck it," Jonah sighed, getting up and rushing to the back.

Wendy had fully fallen down. She was on all fours and crying over a puddle of sick, her wavy brown hair sticking to her lipgloss.

Jonah gagged, then slammed a fist against his mouth and forced his stomach to stay in place as he crouched down next to her and held her hair back, "are you-" he swallowed in thickly, the hot dog churning, "are you done...?"

"...'mdizzy," Wendy groaned and he noticed she had scraped her hands on the road.

"C'mere, Wen-" he wrapped an arm around her back, pulling her back on her feet and dragging her as far away from the puddle of vomit as he could, while still stay near the back of the car, "are you done? Are you gonna be sick again?"

"Not sure," she leaned her head in, forehead meeting his chest and her knees gave in, causing Jonah to let out a gasp and rush to grab her. It was a good thing he was much taller than her, otherwise she'd have fallen badly.

He held her against the car back, cupping her face, "okay, next time just puke out of the door... Let's get you back in the car."

Wendy had scrapped her knees too when she went down and they were bloody, one rivulet of blood had ran down her left knee and disappeared into her boots.

"You're a mess," Jonah sighed, strapping her back inside the car and gathering all of Wendy's hair into a knot behind her hair, "do you have a hair tie?"

"Purse..." she slurred, rubbing a hand over her face, "shit, Jon, everything is twirling."

"You need to cool down," Jon said, digging in her purse for a scrunchie and failing, "stay put-" he turned the purse over, emptying it's contents on her lap and grabbing the pink scrunchie, "there you go- Perfect" she looked like a yorkshire, with all her hair gathered to the top of her head.

Wendy let out a small smile, "can we go home?"

"Yeah, yeah, in a second," he pushed all the objects back inside her purse and rushed back to the driver's seat, "tell me if I have to pull over again, alright?"

"Hmmm," Wendy pressed her forehead to the window, swallowing in thickly, "was the last movie good?"

Jonah let out a surprised chuckle and squeezed her leg again, "it was amazing... Try napping, I'll wake you up as soon as we get there."

"I miss Vin," she said in a tiny voice, curling up against the door, "this fucking sucks."

Jonah cringed. He knew part of this was his fault. In his eagerness to have Vince stay at his place, it hadn't occurred him that Leo and Wendy avoided each other at all costs and that had severely impacted how many of her already scarce free hours she could spend visiting. Sure, Vince was now back to his own dorm, but clearly Wendy was still hung up on those six weeks she had barely seen him.

"I'm sorry, Dee," he rubbed her arm in an attempt to comfort her, "I'm gonna call him up as soon as we get to your place, okay? Better?"

She sniffled pitifully, "it's not fair," Wendy said, forehead pressed to the window and shivering violently, "I don't... I don't understand."

Jonah swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth, speeding up "it's the fever speaking, Wen, try to get some rest..."

She hummed something unintelligible and pressed more against the door, curling up in her seat. Jon glanced her direction, but it seemed she had settled down.

He drove quietly, worry eating at him. The thought she had been feeling sick for a while and it had passed him by was unnerving, to put it mildly.

Just as they arriving back to her apartment building, Jon reached in, shaking her awake, "Wendy," he rubbed her arm, "Wen, I need your password to open the garage."

"Uhm?" she groaned, curling up further, "I don't feel good..."

"I know," Jonah kept the impatience from his voice, "I need your password to get the car inside the garage, Wendy."

"Ugh, it's..." she squinted, rubbing a hand over her face, struggling to remember, "2011"

"So very safe," Jon rolled his eyes, typing it in the keypad and then parking in one of the designated slots for guests. He sighed, turning off the car and getting out, circling it to her side and opening the door, "how steady are you feeling?"

"...'mnot a baby," Wendy groaned, grabbing his jacket and using it to hoist herself up. Jonah's hands hovered and, for a good reason, because the second she attempted to stand up straight, her knees gave in.

"o-kaAY!" Jonah huffed, putting her arms around his neck and picking her up, "grab your purse."

Wendy obeyed, then turned her face and pressed her nose to his shoulder, "I'm sick, Jon."

"Sherlock Holmes herself," he rolled his eyes, pushing the car door closed with his hip and walking towards the elevator. Inside the small, empty cubicle, he could hear very clearly as her stomach gurgled and Wendy hiccupped, muffling a sick burp.

"Don't puke on me," he warned her and Wendy nodded, not daring to open her mouth, face extremely pale. He cursed, pressing the button again, as if that could make the elevator go faster.

"Jon-" Wendy groaned a second later, squeezing his shoulder and struggling against him, "Jon- Put me-" she gagged, "put me down-"

He obeyed immediately, cursing under his breath as she bent in half and almost fell, causing him to have to grab her by the waist, "please, Wen... Just- We're almost there."

She nodded, breathing in deeply, letting it out through her mouth, not saying anything. Jonah almost jumped with relief when the elevator hit her floor and he grabbed her by the waist with both hands, pulling her out like a ragdoll.

Wendy groaned, bracing against the door of her apartment and clamping a hand against her mouth as she watched Jonah search for her key, "hu- HRURKK-" a retch interrupted her and Wendy groaned loudly, eyes squeezed shut, "hurry-"

"I'm going, I'm going-" Jonah turned the knob, "okay, c'mere-"

Although he grabbed her hand, Wendy pushed him off the way and staggered dizzily inside, hitting her desk with her hip and causing one of the trinkets to fall. She didn't stop.

There was no way she was making it to the suite, so instead she entered the kitchen area and leaned over the sink, gagging violently.

Jonah cringed, turning his face away, but walking closer despite his whole body wanting for him to leave. He rubbed her back with one hand, keeping the other on her waist in case her knees gave in again.

There was a loud, gross burp and then her whole frame shook and Jonah whimpered as he heard vomit falling inside the sink. He swallowed the saliva pooling in his mouth, rubbing her back a little harder and thumping on it when it seemed she was choking.

"You cannot have more to throw up, Wen-" his voice was thick with nausea and Jonah ducked his head, letting up a wet belch that burned his throat and offered zero relief. He felt stuffed to the gills, even though he really wasn't.

"Just-god," she whimpered, sounding dangerously close to tears, "leave then-" Wendy turned to glare at him and Jonah winced. Her hazel eyes were very green thanks to how bloodshot they were and she was vomit clinging to her chin. He fought a gag, knowing it'd only make the situation worse.

"I'm not leaving," Jonah scoffed, squeezing her nape, "you're small, there's no way you have more to hurl, is what I meant."

She promptly proved him wrong by groaning, "ohmygod-" and burying her head in the sink again, vomiting up an impressive amount and then dry heaving painfully.

Jon kept the hand that was on her waist put, but removed the one on her back in order to press his fist to his mouth as his whole spine shuddered with a retch.

"I..." she panted for air, trembling, "I- I think I'm done..."

No sooner had she turned the tap to rinse out the mess, Jonah was pushing her to the side and retching violently. It was too much and no amount of fighting it would do.

The hot dog, still tasting too close to the real thing, came up and his repulsion in seeing the bits and pieces clinging to the metallic inside of the sink was enough to send him into another burpy-gagging fit. Jonah groaned, loudly, and then gulped down some of the tap water, forcing up a burp that brought with it the still clear water and some chunks.

He gasped for air, braced against the sink's granite countertop, "sorry, Wen..." his throat was raw, chest heaving for air and Jonah turned to look at her... Only to find that Wendy was bent over the counter and crying, "hey..." he frowned, "why the hell are you crying?"

"You're sick and I'm gross and everything- everything hurts and I miss my boyfriend and your stupid boyfriend hates me and doesn't- doesn't want me around and my belly is so sick and-" she ranted on and Jonah couldn't help but let out a chuckle.

"Okay, Dee, you're delirious," he scoffed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and moving closer, cupping her face and wiping away the mascara tears with his thumbs, "let's put you to bed."

"No," she whined pitifully, leaning forward and hiding her face in his chest, "I'm gonna puke again."

"No way," Jonah rolled his eyes, rubbing her back and noticing the heat rolling off of her, "you need some meds too, darling."

"No..." she mumbled, voice muffled by his shirt and he scoffed.

"It wasn't up for debate," Jonah patted her naked thigh, "c'mon. Move, Wendy."

With much prodding and pushing, he managed to get her in the suite, lying on her side with a bucket by her head, still whining.

Jonah sighed, sitting next to her and pushing the stray hairs away from her eyes, "meds staying down?"

"Doubt," she mumbled, leaning over to spit in the bucket, "can you..." her cheeks turned red and Wendy frowned, then waved it away, "forget it."

"No," Jonah glared at her, "what is it?"

She hesitated for a second, then said in a small voice, "could you stay?"

"And get your flu from hell?" Jonah teased, but there had never been any other option in his mind. Her gaze dropped, wounded and disappointed, and he rolled his eyes, "don't be ridiculous, I'm not leaving when you're this sick, Wendy."

"But you're gonna catch it," the rebuttal was weak, colored with relief and he smiled.

"Yeah, because you care so much right now," Jonah got up, kicking off his shoes, "please, please don't puke on me," he crawled in the bed and Wendy let out a happy sigh, turning around so she could press her face to his arm.

"You're the best," she said sleepily and Jonah glared at the top of her head, his cheeks burning. He felt her scoot closer, all vulnerable and let out a groan, "really. I love you."

"Well, duh, you better," he said lightly, rubbing her back and then kissed the top of her head, figuring he was absolutely doomed after having Wendy breathe on his face as she had earlier, "I love you too. Now go the fuck to sleep."

[dar1ing-d0ve]

Food log!!! Since I kept forgetting to do it :((

-Sugar Cookie Tea: 10 cals (tea was 4, added a bit of milk so just guessing 6)

-cheesey Ramen: 195 (added the slightest bit of cheese so I'm just guessing a little, also I just found out the whole pack of Ramen is actually 320 instead of 190 so I've actually been eating over my limit multiple times :((( totally not having a breakdown over this)

- 1 medium egg, 1 medium egg white, 5 cucumber slices: 85 cals (finally figured out how to get the yolk out of eggs!! Was a bit of a fuck up cause I had to scoop some of it but it was good enough <3

- Spaghetti: 250 cals (since it was leftovers i rlly should've only had half but since I'm trying not to croak from this fever I got i ate most of it </3

- milktea candy: 17 cals (I didn't wanna have these but god they help so much with my sore throat <3)

Cals eaten: ~557 (gave myself a limit of 1000 just cause I was sick and didn't want to limit myself to much and also pass out again :(()

Calories Burned: 2,192 (honestly more than I expected but I did work out a lot more throughout the day)

Total Calories: -1,635

Honestly did better than I thought!! I'll be trying having just one meal split up throughout the day cause I'm going out to lunch with my partner so I'll make sure to take leftovers <33

[paperweight-inshadesofgreige]

⋆ the world seemed to burn ⋆

characters ☆ alexander hamilton, george washington pairings ☆ alexander hamilton & george washington

tws ☆ mentioned food deprivation

whumpcember day 1. fever

ao3 link fic under cut

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Washington lifted his gaze from his work, watching with worried eyes as Alexander covered a yawn with his left hand. His right one scribbled away, the quill flying on a piece of paper, sentences after sentences forming.

It was a letter to Congress, asking for more supplies. Again. Washington sighed. Alexander always poured his soul into these requests, but they never sent anything, instead replying with lousy excuses and sharp demands. Washington doubted they’d send anything this time either, but they really were desperate. No one had had a proper meal in weeks, and even though they hadn't engaged in any battles for a while, they were still weak.

That was why Alexander was committing all of his waking hours for work, Washington supposed. After all, he had nothing else to do, and it seemed like an outlet of stress for the boy.

Still, Washington was worried. Alexander hadn't been eating well before the food shortage, and after it he had been giving up his portions for his fellow soldiers, insisting that 'they needed it more than he did'.

A quiet sigh pulled Washington from his thoughts. He glanced back at his documents, but couldn't keep his eyes off of Alexander as the younger furrowed his eyebrows, massaging his temples. Washington could see his left hand - keeping his letter in place - shaking. His right one was steady mostly due to its tenseness.

Washington shook his head. This man needed a break.

✮

Alexander’s head pounded as he blinked, trying to remove the blurriness of his eyes. A cold chill creeped in his bones, causing him to shiver. Or it might've also been the exhaustion, or the ever-lasting, now numb hunger.

None of that mattered. Alexander shook his head slightly, closing his eyes for a while as the motion made him dizzy. Refocusing, he supported his head with his hand as he continued his letter to Congress. This was his best one yet, in his opinion. Anything to get some help for his friends.

"-er! Alexander!" a sharp voice made Alexander's head jerk up, startling him. Oh yeah, Washington. Alexander stumbled with his words for a while before choking out a few.

"Yes, sir?" he asked, clearing his throat. He could feel Washington's piercing gaze at him, and his eyes moved past the general, off to the side.

To his surprise however, Washington's tone was gentle. "Alexander, how does a break sound like?"

"A... break?" Alexander asked, blinking as confusion took over his features. "But I still, still need to finish this letter and- and work on the documents from yesterday, I wouldn't like to fall behind."

Washington sighed, crossing his arms. "C'mon Alexander, you've worked enough for today. Let's get you some lunch, what do you say?"

Just the simple mention of food made Alexander nauseous. He bit his lip, trying to not focus on his overwhelming headache. "I don't- I'm not sure, sir, I-"

"Alexander, son-"

"-am not your son."

"-just rest for a while, won't you?" Washington finished his sentence, ignoring Alexander's mumbled protest. Alexander contemplated it. He wanted to rest, but he felt like he was on a roll with the letter, and he would loathe himself if he would pass up an opportunity to help the others.

"I assure you that won't be necessary, sir," Alexander said. Or he thought he said, anyways. It was all a little confusing when your skull was being ripped apart.

✮

Alexander mumbled something along the lines of 'I don't need rest', but Washington wasn't exactly sure what he had said. After all, his words had been blurred, melting together as Alexander slowly blinked, his eyes bleary. Washington's worry only heightened when Alexander groaned, closed his eyes and ran a hand across his hair.

Washington stood up, but the other didn't seem to register it, his eyes still tightly shut. Washington walked over to Alexander, placing a hand on his aide-de-camp's neck.

Just as he had suspected. Washington sighed, his brows furrowing with even more worry as he compared Alexander's temperature to his.

"Son," he started, but stopped as Alexander hummed - or rather groaned - in disagreement. "Alex, you're burning up."

"Mmm," Alexander answered, leaning into Washington's cool touch. He seemed to have dozed off before he opened his eyes again, flinching at the bright lights. Blinking a few times, he seemed to remember where he was. With a start, he pulled away, his gaze flickering away in embarrassment. "I- I apologize. That- that wasn't- I-"

Washington interrupted Alexander by lifting a hand. Alexander nodded, lowering his head, his hands fiddling with the buttons of his jacket.

"You have a fever, don't you?" Washington asked, and Alexander looked up with surprise. This clearly wasn't what he had expected to hear.

"Whuh- what?" he stammered. Then, he looked away again, guilty. "I- I can still work."

"That wasn’t my question," Washington made sure to keep his tone stern but gentle. His intention wasn't to scold Alexander, after all. "You should really learn to take care of yourself, y'know?"

Alexander just stared at him for a while, his eyelids slowly falling shut. Washington sighed as he nudged Alexander, who snapped awake, groaning.

"Let's get you to bed," the general suggested, and Alexander didn't need to be told twice, stumbling out of his chair. Washington catched him with another sigh, leading the half-asleep boy to his sleeping quarters.

Alexander collapsed onto his bed, his eyelids fluttering shut. Washington got up, started leaving, but then he felt small, weak fingers wrap around his arm. Washington turned around, and Alexander mumbled two words before falling asleep.

"Stay. Please."

Washington did.

[talesofunlikelysapphicpairings]

Hozier's "Work Song" is so Doctor Superion coded, it might as well have been written for them. This is me trying to prove it.

The song was written from the perspective of a worker (someone who works for someone). Like a farmer, or a miner. From my understanding, this singing worker is struggling with life as taken from the 'pleading' and 'sentimental' connotations throughout the song. Maybe because of the working conditions or other situations, but this song is definitely from someone who is desperate to get their point across. They have understood that life is suffering, and suffering is the only constant in life; but with their beloved, it is a life worth living.

Putting this in the doctor superion context, I will exchange the worker with a soldier. Suzanne is a soldier who had been asked to lay her life down one too many times. This "Work Song" is her song for Jillian. (This is my opinion and I barely elaborate myself so stick with me.)

Here's Verse 1:

Boys workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat

There's nothing sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once from the cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me

The OCS had been given little to nothing during the war with Adriel. They had no clue who their allies were aside from themselves. They had no solid proof of who their enemies were, or clear vision what they were. They had no one to turn to, no one to ask for help. Yet, there was Michael. Then, Jillian.

They knew it was not ideal to face Adriel as small of a number as they have. Yet, they did "face the burning heat," as stated. Somehow, having one another was enough even though the 'boys' (them) worked with 'empty' (nothing). That included Jillian.

Again, this person for the soldier is more than enough. There is no need for a cherry, as sweet as it is, because the sweetness of her lover keeps her full. More than that, she gives her more even by doing little.

The Chorus can be taken as is.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her

This happened. When Suzanne was lying and Jillian was the only hold she has on the living, it might have been Ava who woke her up but we know Jillian is also one of the reasons she became alive. Fuck, Jillian was one of the reasons she stayed behind the first time (fuck the Arc), and on that second time (there was no need to stay). The chorus of the song is a testimony of the soldier's dedication and devotion to her love. And damn me if Suzanne does not have both for Jillian.

So, yes, it was Jillian who fretted over her medical apparatus to revive Suzanne. It was Jillian's hands who caressed Suzanne's hair and shoulder as they waited for the other warriors to come back. And it was probably Jillian who put Suzanne back to her feet to face the war once more.

Verse 2 goes like this:

Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin' in her room but an empty crib

And I was burnin' up a fever

I didn't care much how long I lived

But I swear I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did

When Jillian and Suzanne finally met (because the girls had probably told each of them about the other in some stories), the world is quite literally in shambles. As someone who served as a soldier of God and the Church for most of her life, Suzanne probably felt like questioning both. We already knew that she already questioned the Church, lost trust in it. But what of her faith to God? Years of obedience will make a soldier feel like she's sinning by merely questioning her King. Hence, the days of sins. When she found herself in Jillian's home and Jillian's walls, Suzanne was probably on her lowest days.

But here's the thing— it wasn't just Suzanne who was at her lowest. Jillian lost her son two months ago with no way of getting to him because she got burnt every time she tried. The only person who successfully got inside the Arc, Sister Lilith left her. Jillian found out about Kristian's betrayal. She had no idea of what was happening on Arq Tech. The Arc, her creation, was pulsating for unexplainable reasons making her feel like her mind was failing her. All of these meant that Jillian, too, had nothing left to and of her. Her room was nothing but an 'empty crib.'

Two women, both equating to none.

Yet, Suzanne stayed to 'protect the Arc.' In the midst of a war whose main action is in a cathedral filled with blind devotees praising a false God, Suzanne stayed to protect the Science side of things. This is the side of the coin she did not look at yet, she protected. Especially during the time of her doubting.

And when the people who invaded Jillian's home finally came, Suzanne's first question was not 'How do I secure the Arc?' or 'What is the best way to not let them get here?' — it was "How do I get you out?" As if Suzanne knows that the best way she can protect Jillian is when she's beside her. She did not care about anything else at first, not even for her life that she knew was always meant to be short.

It is sweet, wasn't it? Probably because Jillian is exactly what Suzanne had always needed, had always dreamed of. Someone whom she can be new to. Someone who did not know what she had done. Someone who will not question her worth. Because that was her agony her whole life— questioning herself why she was not God's champion anymore.

Here is the 3rd and last verse before the song ended with two Chorus.

My baby never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord don't forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

When I was kissing on my baby

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamp light I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me

Jillian must have heard the shots. Numerous and loud as they were. As well as the body thudding on the ground when Suzanne disappeared. She must have also seen it on the surveillance cameras. Yet, when Suzanne came back upstairs, limping and tired now more than ever, Jillian was only relieved. Asking if Suzanne had stopped them. No questions of how it was done yet implied.

When Jillian had to point where the button meant to detonate the Arc by hand was, and she had no choice but to brace herself behind a desk and watch as Suzanne was killed; Suzanne's (supposedly) last words were still for her God. That she came to see her Lord. Waiting, and bracing herself with His judgement, whether she was worthy of His final kingdom or not, like she always does.

And when Suzanne was first revived, barely alive, she apologized for not being able to save the Arc. Yet, Jillian apologized for not saving Suzanne. Which drove Suzanne to these final statements of her truth. Her final confession of some sort. With her fear-stricken face on the frame, softly caressed by the hands of the woman she first thought to be blasphemous.

She told her (and Sister Beatrice and Sister Dora) about her resentment to God and Ava. How her shame blinded her, then she died. (Again.) Then she lived. (Again!)

Earlier, a cherry tree was mentioned in the first verse. It struck me as odd since there are a lot more popular trees/fruits other than cherry that are also sweet. It was probably because Hozier took the meaning of Cherry Blossom (different tree, I know; but almost the same name) in literature. Cherry Blossoms symbolizes beauty, transient, and impermanence of life. For the sake of this essay, I will take the last two meanings. Both of which Suzanne already knew that her life was meant to be short-lived. Although she was always ready to die, she cherished it as much as she could by protecting her girls, living up to her 'calling.' After everything, she survived.

Maybe a part of her thought, that if she would not be welcome in His final kingdom, she can have one here. If God will not have her, maybe someone here will. (I am pushing it, I know. No, I do not care.) If she will not be forgiven, taken, or ascended by the Lord, maybe someone here will. Maybe, Jillian will.

During that low light scene, when Suzanne was on Jillian's clothes and her hair was braided, she said they should give some prayer. But this one is different because it was not for some aloof Higher Being's guidance anymore. She wanted to say a prayer for the people they have lost. I think this is when she was finally free— of guilt, of her tether to Church, of her blindly saying a litany.

And when she was talking with Ava, although she said some more things about worthiness (it is hard to unlearn one's thoughts), she nevertheless gave her understanding and blessing. And when she sent them to the war one last time, Suzanne did not offer the word of God (or word of the Church). Instead, she said some words from some song of some band. The words of God and the Bible were just that to her— words. As important as other words are.

Then she stayed with Jillian. No matter if she did not need to, she stayed.

I do not know how to end this but let me put it this way— Suzanne might have lost her trust in the Church, but I'm sure she found another altar to serve. She must have found a new religion, and have a new kind of devotion. Still a soldier but for a new cost. Still a worker, but for a new cause.

[danafeelingsick]

Hello! It's me again, the one who asked permission to write somwthing based off your art!

Lemme ask you something real quick!

Tristamp Vash's been around for about 150 years, do you think he ever got sick during this time?

If he has never been sick in his life, do you think his plant powers would make it even worse?

Can you imagine him feeling sick/nauseous for the first time and not understanding what is happening with his body?

I dont know why, I can see his powers making him suffer a little more with what to Meryl is something normal

hi there! thanks so much for your interest. i'm honored some of my art inspired you (˶◜ᵕ◝˶) hope this ramble down here made any sense though:

i think maybe yes. even though I love the trope of a non-human sickie experiencing nausea for the first time, i feel like tristamp vash needing to eat and sleep leaves him very vulnerable to picking up a stomach bug or eating something bad. we already know '98 and trimax both get sick, i think trimax vash even had a chapter where he was sick and feverish (but it didn't go into detail sadly). and when that happens he probably gets very sick for several days, and has to deal with that all by himself. or maybe he returns to Home for help.

but if you'd rather go the route of he never got sick before and the first time happens around Meryl, Wolfwood and Roberto, then you can also excuse it by him being around humans for long enough got him sick (he picked up something off them). i mean, do scenarios like that even need an explanation?

going into light spoilers for tri/gun stam/pede here!

ooh, and i totally can imagine him experiencing nausea for the first time. he doesn't notice the first symptoms since he has a good tolerance for pain, but internal pain he doesn't know the cause is a new one. so he ignores the shivers, the discomfort, but that stomach-sinking feeling every now and then he can't really place it. and when he starts to feel queasy it's such a foreign feeling he can't help but get anxious, not knowing what's wrong. it evolves to a point where he is dizzy, he so feels bad, he feels heavy, gross and slimy and he just needs to sit down and try to collect himself, and maybe keep himself from crying.

or he could just not get sick that often because his body probably knows how to deal with it, or he isn't as susceptible to illness. it has to be something very gnarly to get him actually sick, like exhaustion and lack of care, some made-up bug only plants get.

about his plant anatomy when sick: aside from the glowing patterns showing up if he's too weak to surpress them, maybe they show up exactly where it hurts (maybe they light a trail from his belly all the way up to his throat when he's about to puke 😳). vash being a plant (this is my own interpretation and do remember i am fairly dumb with those things) means he can transform his energy into other things, although it's something he can't quite control, so when he's sick these processes get all twisted. he probably produces a lot of heat and gets super high fevers, like could burn – not really burn but make it uncomfortable to the touch – someone if they try to hold him for too long. he can't handle food at all, so giving him soup is just so he'll have something to vomit because that won't stay down, and he won't really be able to digest it. maybe those black vines come out of his limbs too, but those either don't last long or he won't let anyone see them. and i feel like Vash could influence the smaller life-forms around him when he's sick, so they often quarantined him back in Home so it wouldn't damage the flora there, or maybe all of the worms would avoid him if he was in the desert, he probably avoided the citys too, just in case whatever he had was contagious.

it's all down hill from there. he doesn't really know how to hold in his vomit, or what nausea even feels like, so when he starts gagging and feeling like his belly is trying to turn itself out, the fear finally gets to him.

i feel like he would be very guilty and apologetic about vomiting once he knows what it is exactly. he doesn't need as much food as humans do, resources are scarce, but he does feel hunger and thirst, and it still feel wrong about wasting anything.

ooo rant over

[kpopsickiess]

can you write a moonbae one where Jacob has bad allergies while him and Kevin are visiting Canada.

*anonymous request*

so, this is my first fic posted on this account.

Sickie: Jacob

Caregiver: Kevin

I'm not really familiar with Tbz, I know them pretty okayish, I hope this is well done.

Jacob p.o.v

I had just finished packing up the last of my clothing. I was so excited to head back to Canada. It was the first time I was going on vacation with Kevin, non-platonically. Last weekend Kevin had surprised me with tickets to go to Canada. "Cobbie? You finished packing?" Kevin peeked into my room. "Just finished"

"are you excited?" He asked, coming fully into the room hugging me from behind. "Very excited, did you finish packing?"

"almost, I was wondering if you had seen my red hoodie, the one that has Canada on it in white letters?"

"not sure, you could ask Juyeon, he might know, he helped me with my laundry"

"alright" he placed a gentle kiss on the back of my neck. "When you're done, do you want to stay in my room, because tomorrow we need to wake up early enough to head to the airport."

"sounds like a plan" he said before leaving the room. He returned about 25 minutes later, sweatshirt slung over his arm, and dragging his suitcase behind him.

~time skip~

Jacob's p.o.v

The two of us landed in Canada together, it was only 4pm, but we were both tired, it had been a long day of traveling. "Should we check into our hotel?" Kevin asked, the two of us had masks over our faces. "Yeah, I'm kinda tired"

"me too" I rubbed at my eyes, they felt dry and a tiny bit itchy, but I guessed that was from being tired. The two of us left the airport, and taking a taxi to the hotel. Once at the hotel we checked in, and went up to the room. The room was small but nice and cute, it had a cozy and romantic vibe.

The next morning we hadn't set an alarm or made any plans, we just wanted to have a relaxing day. Without schedules, or a company breathing on our necks every second.

We had planned on going to a park for a late spring picnic at lunch time, but besides that we didn't have much planned. We spent a lazy morning of cuddling, and Kevin dancing around to Beyonce music.

at about 2:30 the two of us got dressed and left the hotel. Once we stepped outside I was a bit shocked by how warm it was, considering it was May in Canada. And while I was excited that it was warm, because I loved the sunshine, I also wasn't super fond of it, because I also could tell that because of the warmer weather, the flowers would be blooming more, and I could feel the tickle in my nose and the slight burning in my eyes as we walked towards the park. Kevin and I walked close, but not too close, not wanting people to know that we are dating. We didn't care if people saw us together. All of our fans knew we are close friends so we didn't care if we went out in public together.

During the entire walk to the park, my nose had grown more and more itchy, and my eyes had started to sting a bit. Once the two of us had set up our area, we started to eat, Kevin and I bantered back and forth, enjoying each other's company with a rare amount of privacy. At one point the tickly feeling in my nose came to the forefront, I turned away from Kevin "hhhnt-CHU-hhht-CHUh-"

"oh! Bless you" I sniffled lightly and rubbed at my nose "thank you" he brushed some hair off of my face, I knew he was trying to check for a fever. He knows that the only time I sneeze more than once in a row is when I'm either sick or my allergies are acting up.

I continued the conversation, trying to act like nothing happened, knowing that if he knew my allergies were acting up he would go in to protective boyfriend mode. But before long I had to constantly keep my hand pressed to my nose, trying to keep the itch at bay.

"Jacob? Are you crying?" His voice distracted me from my nose, and brought attention to my eyes. I brushed under them, "no, just a bit tired from jetlag"

"are you sure about that?" He asked, voice laced with disbelief. He reached out and gently brushed under my eyes with his hand. And he just brushed my nose just right, and it was sensitive enough, that I had to turn away from him. "hhngt-CHU- heh- nngtCHU- hht-CHuH-"

"bless you" I thanked him, with my hand still over my face, reaching in to the bag to take out the napkins we brought and tidied up my face. "Jacob, what's going on? Are you sick?" I hesitated, if I said no, he'd know it was my allergies and he'd drag me home. If he thought I was sick, he'd also drag me home. "I'm not sick" I cringed at home stuffed up I sounded. "Allergies?" I nodded, rubbing under my itchy nose. "Did you take anything this morning?"

"I didn't know itd be this b-ahh-hngtchU- ngtcHU-" he cringed in sympathy, and handed me a napkin. I blew my nose, cringing slightly at the wetness. "Do you want to go home?"

"no, I want to have my date with you"

"But, I don't want you to be miserable."

"Kev, being sneezy, and itchy, does not mean I'm miserable. Honestly I'm kinda used to it."

He looked a bit unsure, "I'm serious Kev"

"fine, but I don't want to keep you here, this area is covered with plants, let's go into the town more with less plants" I wanted to roll my eyes at his overprotectiveness, but I didn't because I knew he was just being sweet. "Alright, let's go" the two of us packed up our things, having long finished eating. "I know a good ice cream shop pretty near by, if you want dessert. It fight feel good on our throat" I smiled, thinking it was so sweet that he remembered how itchy and irritated my throat gets when my allergies are super bad.

The two of us began walking through the town. Kevin hadn't stopped looking at me concerned, but at the same time, he didn't make any comments. The two of us walked into the ice cream shop, and after we ordered we sat down. Two teenage girls came over to us.

"h-hey, I'm Leah, and this is Maddy. We, we um.. we're big fans of The Boyz."

"thank you, it's always nice to meet The B" Kevin said smiling at the two girls. "Is it just the two of you? Or is all of the Boyz in Canada?"

"just the two of us. We felt a bit homesick"

"can we get a picture with you guys?" One of the girls, (Maddy I think?) asked. "Sure thing" the four of us stood together, and the girl who had first approached us took a selfie. "Thank you!!!" The two girls said together. "You're welcome!" The two girls walked away, waving to us as they went.

As soon as they were out of earshot, I buried my face into the crook of my elbow. "HhtchU- ngtcHU- hnghtCHU- hhtcHU-"

"bless you, you okay?"

"yeah, I was just trying not to sneeze in front of them" he nodded, reaching across the table and brushing something off my face. "If we weren't in public right now, I'd totally kiss you" he said, with a playful smirk. I rolled my eyes at the younger. I was used to his teasing. Whenever we went anywhere together he'd constantly ask me if he could kiss me. Which I told him no every time. Not wanting our relationship to be public. But that didn't stop him from constantly asking, and joking about kissing me as if no one else was there.

After the two of us finished we left the shop together, "what do you want to do now?" Kevin asked, looking around, and then slipping his hand in mine. "I kind of w-hh- hhngt-CHU- ngtcHU- hhtcHu- *sniff* want to go, I'm tired, and I'm starting to get a headache from my stuffy nose"

"sure thing babe" he looked around again, before gently kissing my cheek. The two of us went back to the hotel. "You should shower and change, that way you can get all the pollen off of you"

Once I finished showering Kevin took his turn, saying something along the the lines of not being able to cuddle me because he didn't want to give me an allergic reaction

the two of us cuddled for the majority of the rest of the day, Kevin made no comment about the sneezing, even though he likely was annoyed.

[hussyknee]

Really struggling with self-hate. Intellectually I know this is due to anxiety and stress, and the past month has been pure chaos trying to look after Garfield.

Garfield is my neighbor's cat. Well, not anymore. He's mine now. He was sick as shit and they still weren't looking after him properly, hand-wringing over everything from lack of experience with cats to the fuel crisis. Certainly were quite happy to palm him off on me, because "he's not really ours, you know, he's a stray that found us a few years ago and the kid got fond of him". By the time I got him to the vet he was half-dead from...well, everything. He had cat flu, filaria, a tick fever that had burned through so many red blood cells it couldn't raise a temperature anymore, kidney damage and so dehydrated the needle could barely pierce his skin. I have no idea how he's alive. Well, I do, it's because he's a very tenacious little kitty and I took him to the clinic every day for a week for IVs, and kept him in my room and nursed him till I exhausted myself into an IBD flare. He relapsed twice. Then last week he seemed to have recovered enough that I was the sicker one, but then this week he started getting acute kidney failure, so we're back at the daily vet treatments.

I raised money for him on Twitter and some wonderful people sent enough to cover his medical bills, but the transport and food costs alone burned through all my money. I've been too exhausted and stressed to track my expenses or do my accounts, I flat broke by the beginning of the week and have had to ask my therapist for pro bono sessions from her clinic.

She's been a godsend, being a cat-lover herself, but also I might have alarmed her somewhat. Like, the whole reason I sought her out was because. Well, it was a last ditch effort really. The country situation and me going off my ADHD meds last month because I couldn't afford them didn't help (uh, protip: do not do that. Even if they're non-stimulants, like mine), but at one point I had made up my mind that if Garfield died it would be A Sign from the universe. Also when she asked me to check myself into a hospital if I felt like I couldn't trust myself, I was puzzled and said "why would I kill myself on impulse, it'll take weeks to get everything together if I was going to, I don't want to end up a vegetable". Which wasn't reassuring apparently? Neither was "Anyway, I can't top myself, Garfield is still sick." 😬

I'm still not sure what was so off about those responses, they still make sense to me. But my therapist wanted to set up a protocol and figure out avenues of physical support. Unfortunately, my family is estranged, only 3 of my closest friends live anywhere near me, and they're all also up shit creek. One of their mothers died a few days ago and I still haven't been able to visit. She's been so understanding and sweet about it, but when I tell you I feel like a shitheel.

I just. I don't know anymore. Gar's eating and drinking and the only outward sign that he's sick is the increased lethargy and sneezing. But his respiratory infection just isn't going away. As long as that persists, his kidneys can't get better, but giving him antibiotics for so long isn't doing them any favours either.

I'm using up all my energy caring for him but I don't see an end to it. My neighbors haven't been answering my messages, and anyway I'm damned if I trust them to look after him again. I tried so hard to find a caregiver for him while I was sick earlier this month, the tweeps sent even more money to offer one, but I couldn't.

In many wayos, caring for Garfield saved me from the black pit of despair I fell into after the protests unravelled. But now I feel so trapped. I haven't seen my doggos (they're with my ex) since June. I miss my other kitty cat (he's Mum's, but again I'm the only one who does more than coo at him). I miss having a life. My room and bathroom stink, and everything is chaos. I haven't sat down at my own desk in a month. And I'm still so scared this will all be for nothing and he'll die. I'm scared I'll have to make the choice to let him go. I refused to give up on my baby doggo boy two years ago, and as a result, instead of going peacefully in his sleep, I had to watch him go into acidosis and listen to his death rattle for an hour before the vet could get to us and sedate him through the final stretch. I will never let my selfishness do that to another animal. But I don't know if I'll survive having to let Gar slip away in my arms, after all these weeks of listening to his every breath. That still feels like it would be the tipping point.

I can't shake the idea that he would have recovered so much better and faster in someone else's hands. Someone healthy and abled and competent. Someone whose best efforts aren't so poor, pitiful and inadequate as mine. Everyone in my life deserves so much better than me.