#I also experimented being more messy with the lines and filling it in and I think it came out great! I’m gonna build on that lol

[hazbinhotelxreader]

Carmilla Carmine x female reader ABC smut headcannons

A/n: I did this on another account for Lapis Lazuli, let’s hope this one goes well too lol!

Requested by: no one.

Warnings: smut, gay sex. A lot more but you’ll see in the headcannons(I ain’t gonna list every headcannon)

A- After Care (what their like after sex)

-Sweetest and most caring woman ever after sex. She’ll make sure your hydrated, comfortable, cleaned up and even fed if your hungry after. She’ll even help you take a bath or shower if needed

B- Body Part (what’s their favorite body part of their partner and themselves?)

-For her? She likes her thighs. In sex or out of sex. It doesn’t really matter. She enjoys having you touch and sit on them, grind on them or simply rest on them.

-For you, she enjoys your hands. Also in and out of sex. She loves how both of your hands can intertwine together in public, or how you can caress her and touch her. Also she enjoys your fingers in her so that’s a plus for her

C-Cum (anything to do with it)

-50/50 for her. She enjoys it but she isn’t crazy about it. She’ll eat you out but sometimes doesn’t swallow all the cum. Sometimes she’ll just wipe it onto the bedsheets to get it off of herself. It’s kinda messy for her and sticky if there’s too much, which is uncomfortable.

D-Dominant or Submissive? (Their position in sex)

-She leans on more of the Dominant side. She’s not a controlling top, but she does like taking the reins. Either that or a power bottom, but she’ll let you have full control too.

E-Experience (how experienced are they?)

-She’s pretty experienced. She’s not like angel dust or some succubus who’s really good at it, but she can satisfy you better than a lot of people can.

F/Favorite Pose/position (y’all know what this is)

-Missionary. No doubt. She enjoys seeing you. Whether you’re on top of her or if she’s on top of you. She likes seeing your reactions up close and it’s much easier for her to kiss and pleasure you.

G-Goofy (how serious are they in bed?)

-To her intimacy is not about jokes and goofing off. Yea she’ll tease you here and there and chuckle sometimes at your reactions, but she isn’t going to be that goofy.

H-Hair (how well groomed are they?)

-She’s pretty well groomed. Being a weapon armor Overlord she likes to stay professional, so keeping herself well groomed (even in the areas that aren’t showing) is how she rolls.

I-Intimacy (are they romantic?)

-100%. She’s one of the most romantic girls ever. I feel like if she’s feeling really romantic, she’d get the room cozy and soft and dimly lit with candles and rose petals. Also the bath tub too. Bath tub hot and warm, filled with rose petals and candles around it, and wine for you two to drink to get the mood up.

J-Jack off (masturbation headcannon)

-She isn’t one to jack off. If she were to it would be like at most 5 times a year. She won’t jack off unless she’s really in need of release and you’re not there.

K-Kinks (one or two of their kinks)

-Praising and BDSM. Light BDSM though, like soft handcuffs or belts. Nothing too extreme where your all tied up. She wants you to be comfortable. She loves receiving bondage too, also lightly, she doesn’t want to be all tied up and fully restrained where she can’t even move. She enjoys giving and receiving praise, she won’t be too graphic about it but she’ll go far with that one

L-Location (where would they want to do it?)

-The place she mainly wants to have sex with you at is in your guys room alone. She enjoys having the moment romantic and relaxing. Though she’s up for sex in the bath if you’re up for it.

M-Motivation (what turns them on?)

-You just being sexy or seductive. If you’re in an aroused position, then that will make her aroused. If you’re speaking seductively with a smirk on your face, then she’ll be turned on. Also touching. Like rubbing your hands against her thighs or waist. She also enjoys heated kisses on her mouth or neck, it’ll turn her on.

N-No (where do they draw the line?)

-Any actual pain. She’s okay with light biting and anything pleasurable. But nothing to far. She doesn’t want to hurt you and doesn’t feel comfortable inflicting any pain on you, or herself.

O-Oral (What their like giving/receiving)

-She’s good at it, a woman knows what another woman wants. Her tongue’s incredibly skilled, she could make you cum with just licking your thighs.

-She loves receiving oral. She’ll be holding back all her groans and moans as she’s practically sweating from the stimulation.

P-Pace (Are they Rough and fast? Or slow and sensual?)

-Most of the time slow and sensual. Though if you want rough then she’ll give you rough. She likes slow and sensual for herself though, she rarely asks you for it to be rough.

Q-Quickies (Their opinions, experiences, etc.)

-She’d rather not, but she finds herself using them sometimes. She does it with you sometimes at work if either one of you needs some sort of release. But she’d rather have you in bed with her and take her sweet time.

R-Risk (are they willing to experiment? Risks?)

-Risks are rarely or not ever taken. She cherishes her time with you and wouldn’t risk getting hurt, or getting caught. She’s willing to experiment different positions, styles, or habits though

S-Stamina (How long can they go for?)

-Normally, she can for about 2 or 3 rounds. But she can go for 4 or 5 sometimes if you both are really in the mood and need it.

T-Toys (do they use toys?)

-Sometimes but not often. She’d rather use herself (fingers, mouth, tongue, etc.) rather than be objects, but she’s up for it once in a while

U-Unfair (do they like to tease?)

-yes, she does. Though it’s not harsh or cruel, a few small jokes or words or actions but not to much.

V-Volume (How loud are they?)

-From quiet to medium. She’s not too nosy, she’s loud enough for you to hear though. She will get louder sometimes if you go rougher on her though.

W-Wild card(just a random headcannon for the character)

-She doesn’t show a lot of PDA, but sometimes during meeting with other overlords, when she’s sitting down with you, she’ll trial her fingers up and down your thighs.

X-Xray (what are they like underneath those clothes)

-She’s smooth, and if you already couldn’t tell, she’s pretty thin too. Uhh breast size, not so big either but it’s not like it matters.

Y-Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

-Not very high. She has a pretty low sex drive. She’s usually not in the mood or too busy. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t have desires, it’s just not often.

Z-Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep?)

-She waits for you to fall asleep, wanting you to feel comfortable and safe in her arms. Though if you go hard on her then she’ll probably pass out before you, especially if you had sex on a busy stressful day.

[ficjoelispunk]

TIPSY’S GIRL

"Say yes to heaven,

Say yes to me.

I've got my eye on you."

Summary: Sometimes everything you want is right under your nose. All you need is a little push.

Word count: 7.4k

Warnings: just a love story, happy without anguish, thank God.

Oneshot

A/N: As everyone is already tired of reading in my notes, this is another translated Oneshot. I hope I don’t disappoint so much with English. Please don’t give up on me.🙏

-

"Good night, Joel"

You said as you passed by for the thousandth time, a damp cloth through the counter.

"Good night"

It was visibly noticeable that only his carcass was present there. Deep and tired eyes, hair with curls slightly - perfectly - messy.

"You look tired, a lot of movement outside?" You asked with a gentle smile on your lips.

Joel leaned over the - now, clean - counter.

"Yeah…" he hummed, "with the winter many hordes of them move in search of warmer places"

You were pouring an shot of whiskey into the glass. You didn't need to ask, Joel always came to Tipsy after long patrols, sat in the same place since you remember, and drank exactly the same thing, every time.

"Smart Creatures..."

He smiled with your comment.

"Since I arrived in Jackson, I've never left these walls again" you handed the glass to him "we used to do walks, picnics, hiking, all the fucking weekend..." your eyes were stuck in the wood of the counter, several images taking over your mind, like flashbacks, "I miss nature" you snapped your tongue "well, I'll let you rest" your hands patted the counter "enjoy" you smiled.

Joel raised the glass towards him.

"Thanks"

***

Tiredness took over Joel's old and worn-out body. It had been three long days of patrol. Sleeping outside was becoming a big nightmare for the back. He just wanted to get home, take a long shower and rest.

He just needed a drink first. It was what he repeated to himself, as if, the fact of repeating this to himself sometimes enough, was capable of deceiving his own brain.

The truth is, he started attending Tipsy more for a single reason. You.

A woman with such a beautiful smile, that if the light of the world ran out, your smile could certainly illuminate the planet without a shadow of a doubt. Your lips filled the contour of your smile so perfectly. Your soft skin. The curves of your body. You are so beautiful. Kind. Polite.

Every time he’s close to you, his nerve endings fall asloment. He's afraid to say something wrong. He’s afraid you'll misunderstand him. Whenever he thinks about the possibility of having you, touching your skin, your lips, your body... he drives away the desire. He's not worthy. The things he's already done. It didn't seem right that the same hands that kill could be able to touch you correctly. You deserved more.

Too old for that kind of thing. So, all that was left was for him to observe her. At least from afar he couldn't lose you.

"If you keep looking at her like this, you'll make a hole in her skin," Tommy whispered to his brother, squeezing his shoulders.

"Shut up, Tommy"

"Seriously, you're a man, Joel. Call her out, it's not a big deal"

Joel just stared at his brother.

"C’mon man… She looks at you too... you're a nice guy"

"She's just being polite. Very kind to just kicking me out from this place"

"No other man would be good enough for her here, and you know that, if you continue with this shit, you'll end up having to watch any asshole take her home..."

Tommy shakes his head while waiting for you to come and serve him too.

***

Working at Tipsy was a quiet thing, most of the time. There were few nights that you had to put up with someone who ended up drinking too much, and inflating the courage to say things to you that would be at least impolite. But overall, it was something quiet. Decreased the feeling of loneliness - which you had also been used to dealing with - the end of the world does not provide healthy experiences, and keeping mental health in line is a daily exercise.

You had just left the library, selected another book - which you knew you would read in a maximum of three days - the plan was to sit on your old couch, cover your legs with the wool blanket you had knitted, and keep next to a good herbal tea that you had harvested in your garden in the morning.

The cold this afternoon was more severe, you walked looking for the sun, to warm it up, thinking about removing your heavier coats from the closet.

"Hey!"

The known and panting voice had just rested a soft hand on your shoulder.

"Hey! Maria, how you doing?"

"I’m fine. You? Did I get in the way of your thoughts? You were closed in your private world"

You smiled.

"I'm fine, thank you. I was making a mental note to remove the married people from the closet, it seems that we will have a merciless winter this year"

She nodded.

"Do you work tonight?"

"Not really, today is my day off. Do you need help with anything?"

"Yeah, I do. I was wondering if you could help me with the recipe for that Arabic salad you make, I've tried it a thousand times and I don't get it... Tommy will get sick if he doesn't eat this salad..."

You smiled.

"Yeah, shore. Tonight?"

"If you don't care..."

"No, of course not. At 6 p.m.?"

"Sounds great! I'll wait for you."

You nodded.

“See you there”

Maria has always been an amazing woman since you arrived in Jackson. She and Tommy welcomed you in the best way, with patience and care. As much as your plans were to stretch your legs up, you could never say no to this couple to whom you owe so much. If you were in a safe place today, it was because they had provided you with it. You know that Jackson is the closest to life you once had, and no matter how much it was a long way of pain and suffering, living was still an act of courage, which you were proud of day after day for having the courage to choose to live.

Tommy welcomed you with a smile on his face.

"Maria is making the baby sleep, can I help with anything?" He said as they walked to the kitchen.

You took a look at him, smiling.

“What? I'm a great co-pilot in the kitchen"

You raised your arms.

"I didn't say anything"

You laughed. Tommy taught you how to navigate the kitchen, left the ingredients at your disposal, while killing time talking. He was a very communicative man. It was no wonder that the community respected him, he was able to maintain order and protected about 300 people. Only someone articulate enough was able to keep the nerves of 300 people under control.

You were teaching how he should cut the tomato, when he got distracted looking behind you.

"Look at you man, did you take a shower!? Well, thankfully, because definitely Joel is more skilled than me in the kitchen"

You turned around smiling, Joel was... just Joel, a man whose presence did not have any explanation. He was a little older than you, a crease always demarcating the forehead, fierce eyebrows, outlined face, beard covering the face, perfectly messy hair, demarcated jaw. He had all the characteristics of a man, masculine, strong with a striking presence.

He wasn't a talker, few times you have the pleasure of seeing him smile, always worried, nervous or too tired, you had the feeling that he not had a good night's sleep for decades. The tension he carried on himself was something so poor that sometimes you have already found yourself wondering if you would be able to relieve the lines of insistent expressions that he carried on his face. If you would be able to make him feel relaxed, calm and serene.

But, although you could also swear to see him several times - a considerable amount - looking at you, every time - also a considerable amount - that you tried to pierce his shell, he always pushed you, gently and respectfully, away.

Today, however, you had never seen so many expressions passing through Joel's face at the same time. Surprise, nervousness, hesitation... he seemed paralyzed since he entered the kitchen.

"Hi" you said, your voice seeming to pull you into the world again.

He blinked.

"I'll see if Maria needs help" Tommy walked to her brother "can you help her?"

He stared at his brother, still motionless, but nodded. He slowly approached you.

"Are the tomatoes giving you trouble?" He asked pointing out where Tommy left the job in half.

You smiled.

He reached the cutting board with the knife to continue.

"You don't have to, I can..."

"I'll help you"

He looked at you so deeply, the luminosity of the house was dim, you have never been like this side by side, always separated by a counter, or far enough away to just greet each other with a nod. You had to look away, focusing on the cucumbers you were cutting.

He followed the cutting pattern you set to Tommy, and clearly more skilled, in fact. The big arms holding the small fruit, in such a subtle way, contrasting with the big hands and long fingers. The movements outlining the muscles over the tissue of your flannel. Hypnotizing your eyes with every movement.

"Am I doing something wrong?"

You almost got scared, when you heard him, too concentrated in that man's hands, making it difficult to take care of policing yourself so that he didn't realize that you had your eyes fixed on his movements. It was only then that you realized that you were biting your lips. You cleared your throat.

"No" you shook your head, trying to clear your mind, returning to focus on the cucumbers "no, you’re natural, like a Cheff. I didn't know you were a good cook"

He snapped his lips. A crooked smile crossed his lips.

"I have some skills"

You smiled.

"How does it feel to be on the other side of the counter?"

He shrugged, and looked at you again.

"At this moment, I feel better than ever"

You was fully aware of the heat that invaded your face, and burned in your stomach. You couldn't say many other things.

Joel stayed by the side until the end of the salad preparation, reaching all the materials you needed. Sometimes your arm or hand ended up brushing Joel's skin and body. Your body was so tense that it seemed difficult to breathe. The air was a little thick and the kitchen seemed very small.

Maria and Tommy came back for a while - which seemed very long - later. Maria prepared a meat, removing it from the oven as soon as you had just prepared the salad. You dined to the sound of maternity reports. Raising a baby was not easy, and raising a baby in this world was twice as difficult. Although Maria and Tommy had been blessed with a calm and healthy baby, a child who slept all night, and was quite calm during the day.

Maria served you a wine that someone from the commune had produced, with natural fermentation with grapes produced there inside Jackson itself. Tommy helped Maria organize the dinnerware, while you and Joel were sitting outside the house, in upholstered chairs that Tommy and Joel had made before last winter.

You hugged your knee, holding the glass with the wine, in the hope that the liquid would make its due effect and warm your body.

"Are you cold?" It was the first thing he said after cutting the tomatoes.

It was surprising that, although immersed in a silence, there was nothing uncomfortable to be next to him and to be silent.

You sighed.

"I haven't taken the coats out of the closet yet..."

Joel got up, covering your back with his jacket. You closed your eyes with the feeling of warmth around your body. He was hot. Your hands pulled the fabric to cover more of your body, which made you think how small you were close to him, the jacket could easily become a blanket.

"Better?" He was sitting in front of you.

You nodded.

"Thank you"

Your cheeks pressed your shoulder. The smell of him invading your senses. You were warmed by the heat that radiated from his jacket. And it was numb by the smell that the fabric exhaled. So comfortable. So cozy.

When you had finished the wine. Your eyes blinked lazy, it was time to leave.

You got up, unrolling yourself from your jacket.

"Time to go" you leaned over to deliver the jacket to Joel, but he also raised "Maria, Tommy, always a pleasure to spend time with you guys"

"There is no possibility of eating this salad if it is not made by you," Tommy said, hugging Maria.

You smiled.

"Always available, for you. Maria, give a kiss in that little one for me"

"Of course! Thank you for dinner, it was delicious"

She leaned over to hug you.

You were still holding Joel's jacket. You was going to say goodbye to him, but he was faster than you.

"I'll follow you to your home"

"You don't have to..."

"I make a point, I'll also take advantage of the ride and go home"

You nodded. He said goodbye to his sister-in-law and brother. Walking next to you to the exit of the house. Once they were walking through Jackson's deserted streets, he pulled the jacket from your arms, stretching it on your back again.

"It's cold, you can get pneumonia and die"

You smiled, making a face.

"So dramatic"

He was close enough to bump into your arm, with every step you took, his hands in the front pockets of the jeans. Slow steps. Your house was not far away, but the path seemed to drag under your feet.

"I'll stay here" you stopped in front of the stairs on your balcony.

You was going to start sliding the jacket.

"No, stay with her" Joel said.

"No, I'm going in and I'll be safe and warm. You still have the way home" your hands stretched the jacket for him "I don't want you to get pneumonia and die" you smiled and rolled your eyes.

His big hands held the jacket, brushing your hands. Even with his jacket, your hands were cold, the warmth of his touch could easily melt your skin. He was so warm. You two faced the place where your skins were. His thumb stroked your hand.

Your body was taken by an anticipation, an anxiety was making room in your stomach and it was as if you were getting hollow inside, burning the cells of the body.

Joel took a step towards you, shortening your distance. He was dangerously close to you. Your face were tingling.

His free hand rose slowly towards your face, as if he were giving you time to scold him. But you didn't. He touched your face. You stared at each other painfully, his warm fingers slid down the side of your face, and from your neck, moving your hair away from behind your shoulder.

He took another step, his eyes danced between your mouth and your eyes. He was leaning slowly, in your direction. His eyes holding your gaze. His hand holding your head. His nose touched yours.

"Tell me, if I do something you don't want" he murmured, close to your lips.

You nodded, your noses sliding on each other. Your head tilted to the opposite side of his head. Joel pressed his lips on yours, hesitant, kind. Moving away millimeters, bringing his body closer to yours, and pressing his lips on yours again. Longer.

You felt the softness of his belly, his firm breasts. You slowly opened your mouth to him, his tongue slid down your lip until he found yours. He tasted like the wine you had. You sighed.

Joel threw his jacket on the floor, his hand slipped down your waist and then down your back, pulling your body to him. One of your hands slid down his waist, grabbing his shirt. The other got entangled in his hair, your fingers in the middle of the messy curls.

The kiss became more and more intense, your breaths were heavy, your body was glued to his hot body, his heat taking over all your senses.

His lips separated from yours, his foreheads were united, Joel joined your lips in a long kiss, moving away again, you smiled. Still hugging. He moved far enough to find your eyes, running his fingers through the length of your hair.

"Do you want to come in?" You asked, almost pleading.

Joel brought your head to his lips, placing a kiss on your forehead.

"I should go home, sweetheart" his lips brushed the top of your head.

You were numb, your face practically glued to his chest, his smell, his body. His eyes were closed trying to record the maximum of this sensation.

"Okay..." you murmured.

"But can I see you tomorrow?" He asked, holding you against him.

You got just far enough away to look at him.

He smiled.

"I wanted to take you to a place"

You smiled, unable to prevent your lips from arching in happiness.

"Is it a date, Joel Miller?" You bit your lips.

His hands went up to hold your face.

"Yeah... would you grant me the honor of your company on a tour?" The thumbs of his hands caressed your face.

Your arms were around his waist. You pretended to think, pouting in the corner of your mouth.

"Yes, I would grant..." you ended up finishing.

He pulled you for a hug, caressing your back.

"Good! I was already thinking about how to persuade you"

You laughed, - as if it were necessary - you took advantage of the warmth of his arms for another moment, until you walked away, reluctant - it didn't seem that neither of you were happy to let go - taking a few steps back, until you climb your stairs.

"See you tomorrow morning" Joel said as he took his jacket from the floor, and took slow steps back.

He waited for you to enter the house.

-

It was difficult to contain the outbreak your body exhaled. You were feeling like a fucking teenager. Since the first time you saw Joel, your pupil has dilated. He was a man who drew attention, the kind of guy you wanted to wrap you in his strong arms, the kind of guy who made you fantasize about things. The way he walks. The way he speaks. Always looking so distant and mysterious, but shy and gentleman.

You noticed his looks at you. But he seemed so distant, he seemed to be so involved in this end-of-the-world thing, so hurt by the pain that, obviously, everyone went through that, it didn't make sense for you to fantasize something, it seemed unlikely that he was willing to be distracted to the point of risking having feelings for someone.

People always commented on him. When people can't pierce someone's bubble, when they can't explain their questions, they always end up attacking. There have always been buzz about how cruel and merciless man Joel is. About the things he was able to do, because he had already done.

But with you he has always been kind and respectful, up to this point, this is a matter of education, only. However, you knew hundreds of people who were very good and not even if you wanted education could sustain for a long time, depending on the scenario.

There were, of course, many women who were sentimentally frustrated with him. Joel wasn't really in the mood. Beautiful, strong and intelligent women, fragile and petty women, he was the kind of guy who made any woman's type. That, for sure, also raised a lot of gossip.

Working at Tipsy was something that made you, whether you like it or not, end up listening, seeing and being a victim, of all kinds of things, even more so in a bunch of people, in which everyone knows everyone, and, unfortunately, everyone is busy with everyone's life.

Little by little you learned to filter the things that reached your ears. And, anyway, for you, Joel has always been a respectful man, above all. Your mind was clear and aligned with the possibility that he was someone difficult before Jackson, but who wouldn't be? There are things that could be justifiable, and there are things that perhaps, were not justifiable, maybe not necessary. But the moment wasn't the best either. Extreme moments, sometimes they ask for extreme attitudes. Anyway, it didn't make much difference to you.

What made a difference was that he was a kind man, he was never rude, not even when someone was being inconvenient. It was never disrespectful, not even when he drank too much. He was always willing and available to the people - which he certainly knew - spoke of him behind his back. And, what caught his attention the most, he was always protective, careful and loving with his daughter, Ellie.

It wasn't easy to raise a teenager before, you knew, now it should probably be terrifying. Even so, he kept himself patient, eyes always attentive and full of tenderness, ready for any sign that Ellie could think of giving. Always ready for her. That was one of the things that moved your heart the most. It was visibly noticeable that he would cut without blinking a limb for this girl. This kind of love was something you appreciated.

Joel knocked on your door, shortly after the sun settled in the sky. The morning was cold, there was a considerably dense fog hovering over Jackson's streets. The snow would not take long to start giving its first signs. The thermometers already marked low enough temperatures to roll up scarves and wear three layers of blouse, and maybe a cap, if you wanted to increase the look.

"Hi," you smiled at him.

"Morning, sweetheart" he leaned hesitantly towards you.

Your feet forced themselves to stay at the ends, in an attempt to reach him halfway. Joel pressed his lips on yours, time-consuming, needy. You smiled, he slowly walked away, you climbed up your body to give another quick kiss.

"Ready?"

You nodded.

"I hope so, should I bring something?" Your eyes catch the backpack on his back.

He shakes his head.

"No, don’t worry, I have everything we need"

You nod, closing the door behind you.

***

Anxiety has always been something that tormented Joel's head. Before he thought too much for fear of not being a good father to Sarah. Then he blamed himself for Sarah's mother having left, and how it would affect Sarah's life. And then came the concerns about how he would solve life and be able to provide a good future for Sarah. Oh, how painful it was to think about the future and Sarah.

There was a moment when anxiety and sadness entangled so much in his mind that there was only room for these two feelings. Apart from, of course, the responsibility of keeping Tommy well, alive and safe.

Of course, things got better when Ellie arrived. There was the time when the fear of losing her consumed him. Now she was big enough to push him away, to make the decisions by herself. Even so, she will always be a good child, and he loves her unconditionally, he will always be there for when she needs it. There was the anxiety and the worry of keeping her safe. There would always be. But he knew Jackson was safe. He himself made sure to keep Jackson safe for her.

But now for the first time in a long time, the anxiety he felt was whether he would find you on Tipsy, if he would know how to answer your questions well enough that you didn't think he was an idiot. He felt the anxiety of, needing to contain himself, of needing to control the desire to touch you. Or one day you end up knowing that you finally found someone to be. He needed to control the impulses to drive away the men who flirted with you. To observe the malicious eyes that lingered on you. Joel could read the guys' minds as if their fucking brains were on a big screen. And just that, it was enough for him to long for just an opportunity to punch these men in the face.

He couldn't remember the last time he felt like this, about someone else. He dreamed of you. He was nervous about the idea of meeting you. He liked your voice, your smile, the way you moved, the sweet way you looked at him. Your hair... he knew that if he approached you, he would be at risk of wanting you for him, for the rest of his life.

Tommy invited him to dinner, without telling him that you would be there. He knew the moment he saw you, that Tommy was pushing him. And he can't blame him. Tommy knew him as well as he could know himself. Joel saw you arrive, he saw you settle down, he saw you building friendships, he saw you wisely dealing with people, he saw you being simply you, as if the fucking world was not over, and you had managed to stay perfectly good.

At all times, he can't take his eyes off you. He vividly remembers the day you met him - because, he already knew you - the soft and basically sacred skin of your hands gently shook Joel's hands. Your big Corsican eyes, slightly closed when your lips drawn by God's own hands, opened in the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

And then he was there, holding your body against his, your mouth merging with his. Your heavy breathing, as inviting as he could imagine, was difficult to hold the impulse of wanting to drag you to his bed, immediately undressing your body, and warm it up with his body on yours. Finally being able to feel the taste and flesh of your lips. Your smell and the small sounds you made when he pulled your body closer to his.

He had found the passage to paradise.

Now he could only be anxious to be good enough for you, good enough to have it, and enough to keep it.

You were beautiful in the morning, properly wrapped up, which was good, you were a little cold person, he had already noticed. Maybe it was because you were a small woman, the wind overtook you easily. He smiled with the thought.

Joel bends his arm next to your body, so that you could hold his arms. You hooked yourself next to him, leaning your cheeks against his arm for a moment. It was deliciously satisfying to feel you snuggling next to his body.

"It's cold today" you speak rubbing a hand on his arm, in an attempt to warm your fingers with the friction.

Joel puts his hand on your own, which firmly hold him, feels you shudder little by little.

"It will snow soon” he watched the sky, and then you.

"What are you taking me to, Joel Miller?"

He smiles.

"You'll like it, trust me"

You two walked towards the stables. Joel had already left Callus prepared for you.

"Are we going to ride a horse?" You ask, your voice seemed curious but hesitant.

"Are you nervous?"

You shook your head. But your eyes said something else.

Joel finishes checking the sadle buckles, and walks up to you. He slides a lock of your hair behind your shoulders.

"Do you trust me?" He asks.

Your deer eyes force him to get a little closer to you.

"Yes, I trust you"

Joel kisses your forehead, holding your hand, to lead you to the horse.

***

How to explain how difficult it was to trust someone these days? You trusted Joel, he was a man to whom you naturally transmitted security. But it was impossible to avoid the butterflies dancing in your stomach.

He helped you get on the horse. Your arms around his waist, as he led you out of the gates.

"Joel?" You couldn't stand it.

"Mhmm?"

"Where are you taking me to?"

"Isn't you a fan of surprises?"

You laughed. Feeling unfair to him, whatever it was, it seemed unfair to steal whatever he took the trouble to plan. So used to always having everything under your control, knowing very well where you are stepping, what to do and when to do it, you was not used to not having control. Trusting without knowing what to expect.

"I'd like to show you a place, just it"

You smiled. It was almost as if you hadn't stopped smiling since the night before.

"All right, sorry”

You two rode for a long time, but it wasn't boring at all. You couldn't remember the last time you left Jackson. It could be a fantasy of your head, but the air looked different outside, everything was so much more alive. Nature was something imperial, only it had a place outside. The burning orange colors of the leaves of the trees with winter coming, the almost dead landscape had a melancholic beauty. The silence, only the horse's paws, you and nature. Joel stopped Callus on the slope of a mountain.

It helped you go down, holding your waist, sticking you to the floor.

"Let's walk a little now, okay?"

"Yeah, sure"

He held your hand.

"You said you liked hiking, that you missed nature..." he looked at you "I thought it would be a walk you would like."

Your heart almost jumped. You said a lot of things to Joel when he passed by Tipsy, but you could swear that he was just nodding out of politeness, it didn't seem like he was absorbing the information, keeping your words to himself. That was very cute.

The trail went up the mountain, and at no time did he let go of your hand. He said that he had already come here with Ellie, - which was very sweet, you understood that it was an important place for him - you talked about trivial things in life before the outbreak. You already knew some things, such as, for example, he and Tommy worked with construction companies, contractors, things like that. It was a surprise for him, when you say that you was a biologist.

"Fancy..."

You shook your head.

"It's not like this profession is very useful now, you know. Builders are much more fancy."

He smiled.

You said that you did a lot of field work, research and always ended up in the middle of the woods, these experiences were what ended up helping you survive in the first years of the outbreak.

Being walking around there, next to Joel, the strongest of him holding yours, surrounded by nature, one of the places where you felt most comfortable, filled your senses with peace and calm.

There was a patrol post in the middle of the way, Joel passed by, he didn't take long, he just removed a guitar from somewhere very well kept there.

"I'll leave it here for when we're going to do longer patrols..." he explained as he slides his hand through the instrument.

"I didn't know you played..."

"You will find out why, of almost no one having the joy of knowing," he said ironically.

You laughed.

When you reached the top, you had to hold back the urge to cry. Joel let go of your hand, watching you take small steps, looking at the view in front of you. You've been to beautiful places before, but being there, with the world in that scenario, next to a man who thought about the fact how much you would like something like that, was simply indescribable. Such an affectionate gesture on his part.

Your hands covered your mouth. You looked at him with teary eyes. The view was stunningly beautiful, exciting. The mountains in the background. The green, the trees. The sky. Him. Everything was perfect.

"Did you like it?" He asked quietly as he approached you.

"Joel..." you looked back at the landscape that looked millimetrically hand-painted "it's perfect... I loved it, this place is amazing"

He smiled, hugged you from behind, resting his chin on your head, his arms around you. You stayed there for a while. The cold wind cut you, a painfully pleasant feeling of knowing that you were closer to the sky.

Joel opened his backpack, extending a blanket on the floor, removing fruit, water, and a bottle of tea. You sat down, Joel leaning against a trunk of a tree, you in the middle of his legs, resting on his breasts, his hands on yours, separating just to reach some drink, or some fruit, your fingers intertwined stroking each other's hand.

He played the guitar for you. This man's voice is a threat to your heart.

"I wanted to be a singer when I was younger"

"You would have been a star. Women would go crazy"

He laughed.

“You are such good lier”

You tried to convince him that he was really good at that. But he was a modest man, and too shy to receive so many compliments.

The silence was comfortable too, you had a book in your hand, feeling the sun on your skin, the birds flying in the sky. Joel was also reading.

"Joel?" You tilted your head back, leaning against his chest, to look at him.

"Mhmm?"

"Did you plan all this?"

He nodded behind you.

"You simply, you just eliminated any kind of competition, you know that, right? After today, it will simply be impossible for anyone to surpass you"

He sighed a smile.

"When you told me you missed nature, this was one of the first places that came to my mind.”

“Thank you, I really liked it”

“Yeah… I just didn't imagine that I would have the opportunity to one day bring you here"

You turned to look at him.

"Why?"

He seemed to be embarrassed.

"I didn't think you would give me a chance"

You settled to face him.

"What do you mean?"

He looked away, looking beyond you, at the landscape. He seemed afraid to say the words. One of his hands that were at your waist, reached a small and thin branch on the floor to distract his attention.

"Did you really think I was going to Tipsy just to drink that damn whiskey that Seth serves?"

You kept analyzing his face. Without answering.

"Tommy and I got better whiskeys when we went on patrol" he threw the branch on the floor, looked at you again "I'm going to Tipsy because I wanted to see you"

It took you a while to process the information.

"Joel..."

"I wanted to spend time with you, but look at you..."

You frowned.

"I never imagined that a woman like you would waste some time with a man like me, and... besides, I didn't want to bother you"

You tilted your head, your hands held his face, affectionately directing his gaze to you.

"Joel, what could a woman like me want, if not a man like you?"

He smiled, embarrassed and tried to divert his face from his touch.

"Look at me," you said, holding his face again, "you are a kind, generous, polite, respectful, honest man, I would waste any time with you"

His eyes seemed painful, as if your words were being stuck in his skin, as if he were being forced to believe your words, as if he himself was not able to recognize the man he was.

You caressed his rebellious hair, approaching him, to kiss him, soft and gentle in the beginning. But this was gradually being replaced by a needy pain, when his hand went up to your neck, the other fixing your legs so that you were on his lap, putting your legs around his hip, your arms leaned on his wide shoulders, he pulled you close, his hand sliding through the hem of your blouses, letting some fingers brush your skin. You moaned in his mouth, your skin shivering, his tongue plunged into you, making you press yourself against him, putting your body stuck to his, his hands went down to your hip, but his fingers squeezed the flesh of your ass. You were about to start moving your hips in search of relief when he walked away from you panting.

His forehead stuck to yours. You smiled.

"Sweetheart” he said “Maybe we should go back..."

"Yeah, it seems like a good idea"

You made a slight cuddle on his hair, he pressed some quick kisses on your lips, before you got up, put things away, and made the trail back.

The way back to Jackson was faster. Joel left Callus in the stables, it was almost incredible that you spent almost the whole day together, it was almost the end of the afternoon when you were making their way back to your house. You still had to work at night. Everyone who passed by you two, delayed their eyes, your eyes caught some women whispering among them. You pretended not to see it.

You were almost in front of your house.

"I hope I didn't make you tired, you still work tonight, right?"

"That’s right, but I'm not tired, it was basically like recharging the energies"

He smiled.

You were about to climb the stairs from your balcony. He held your hand.

"Can I see you tonight?" He looked at you looking for any kind of approval on your face.

"Joel, you can see me whenever you want"

He seemed satisfied.

"But you can come in if you want. I still have some time, until I start my shift"

You held his hand harder. Almost as if he had no choice but to accept. He nodded. You went up the stairs, opening the door, pulling him behind you.

As soon as you were inside your house, he pushed you against the door. Kissing you, slipping his tongue inside your mouth, he put his knee in the middle of your leg, causing a perfect pressure for the friction you needed from the heated kiss you gave on the mountain, you shook your hip, he moaned in your mouth. His cock was already hard and arching.

Going down kisses down your jaw, your fingers pulling his hair.

"I won't be able to wait until after work for this," you murmured.

"I was hope not" he said in his skin.

He could feel your need by rubbing your hip on his leg. Fuck, he wanted to feel you, sink into you, he thought about it so much for so long, that it was the realization of a fucking dream, kiss your beautiful mouth and have your perfect body like that for him.

His hands slid up your ass, pulling your body to him, you moaned. Your hands pushed his coat to the ground, desperately unbuttoning his shirt.

He pulled you up, so that you were on his lap, your legs crossed his waist, his hands on your ass holding you.

"Where is the room, babe?" He asked panting.

"Third door on the left"

He walked with you in his arms, while you kissed messy, you pushed your coat to the floor along the corridor. Cursing the - now - exaggerated amount of clothes. Joel put you on the floor, helping you undo the buttons on his shirt. Pulling his blouses by his arms, you undoed his belt, the button of his pants, he pulled the last shirt he wore by his body.

God! He was beautiful, so hot. You kissed the firm skin of his chest, he pulled your last blouse by your arm, and almost whimpered when he saw your naked breasts for him - you were not a fan of bras - your nipple was hardened, your skin goosebumps.

“Fuck, you're more beautiful than I could imagine," he murmurs, pushing you to bed.

His hands deliciously squeeze the soft skin of your breasts, he goes down a path of kisses through your collarbone, slipping his lips through your skin, until he finds your nipple, he gently passes his tongue through him, while the other hand squeezed your other breast, your silky skin against his big, calloused and warm hands, his mouth closes over your nipple, sucking you there.

You can't contain the moan that rises from the bottom of your chest, arching with the feeling of his mouth on your body. He slides his mouth to the other chest, doing the same to him. Your hands get tangled in his hair.

He slides his lips down your belly, deposits a kiss just below your navel.

"Are you sure of that?" He pauses, looking at you.

“Yes, Joel”

He kisses your belly once again and pulls the jeans by the legs.

Your panties had a shamefully damp spot.

"Fuck, babe" he slid his finger over hot and wet fabric "are you needy for me all day?"

"From the moment you suggested leaving" you were panting. "You are a bad man"

He smiles.

"I'm going to reward you"

You smiled. Breathing stuttering.

Joel hooked his fingers pulling your panties, throwing somewhere lost on the floor, crawling to the middle of your legs. He put a leg on each shoulder, it took him a second to appreciate the image of your pussy in front of him, you felt his warm breath approaching you, until he pressed a kiss on your clit. Your breathing trembles with the sensation.

He ran his tongue painfully from wandering from your hole to your clitoris.

“Tastes so fucking good..."

You moaned and he sank his tongue in your heat, moaning too, without avoiding the good taste you had, his hand passed by you, reaching your clitoris, your back arching for him.

He was literally eating your pussy, devouring you while you moaned arching at his touch, you were dripping, more and more wet while his tongue worked on you in a way you didn't even know was possible. He sank a finger inside you, feeling you contract as he stretched you, your breathing getting more and more panting, your hands ran to his hair. He bent his finger inside you, making you choke on the perfect feeling, pressing your clit more, you arched and undone around it, with a strangled moan, pushing deeper into you. He smiled, as he felt your body collapsing with pleasure for him.

He dragged his lips through your body, the wet and shiny beard, you were out of breath. He separated just enough to look at you, your hands were around his face.

"You're still sure..."

You pulled his face to yourself, kissing him, tasting you on his tongue. Your hands went down to push his jeans. He got up to take off the rest of his pants and underwear.

And, it was almost impossible for your to get better, but you had, he had a gloriously perfect cock, leaking from his swollen, big and thick head.

He knelt in the middle of your legs, taking his hands in your middle gathering your wet, passing over his length. Joel lowered his cock so that his head was in your hot and wet entrance, lay down on you, his body warm and heavy.

"Tell me if it hurts, and we'll stop, ok?"

You nodded.

***

He rested his forehead on yours, closing his eyes trying to focus on something other than your soft and naked body for him, something other than your incredibly hot pussy in which he was about to sink.

You passed your hands through his hair.

He pressed the head of his cock, and only then your pussy already clung to him tight. He pushed slowly inside you, little by little, giving you time to get used to him, desperately trying to focus on anything else, but your hands slid down his back pulling him against you, it was amazing. God! You feel so damn good.

He knew, he imagined it would be amazing, you were equally amazing, your beauty, your skin, your smile, he did not contain the grunt you made when you felt your hips meet and know that it was totally inside you. You clung to it, squeezing it, so hot and soft. The volume of your breasts below it, your body. Your mouth. You licked his lips.

It had been a long time since Joel felt this way, you fell so good, the feeling was painfully too hot, he could never dream of something as good as you taking him totally, deep in your wet heat.

"Fuck" you gasped in his ears “you feel… oh my God”

He felt you, every part of you, every muscle contracting, the weight of your breathing, your arms moving as if you wanted to touch most of it you could.

“I know, sweetheart” he kissed you while he was deep inside you. Starting to move, your hip moved to meet him, you moaned in his mouth “You taking me so well”

Joel was slow, he couldn't press too much, he would cum too fast. He took his time, savoring every part of you, every kiss, and every movement he made, listening to the beautiful sounds you exhaled through him.

When his cock was painfully tight on you, he moved faster, more urgent, your fingers stuck in his skin, your legs intertwined his back, he knew you wouldn't last much longer, your walls squeezing around his cock. Your breathing stuttering.

"I won't last much longer..." he murmured on your shoulders "where...?"

"Inside me..."

He growled. While fucking you harder, faster, sinking deep inside you, your body faltered, with involuntary spasms, Joel held your body against his.

"Fuck, that’s it, cum for me" he said, feeling your walls pulsing around him “c’mon babe, that’s it”

He can't stand it, falling apart inside your heat, pulsing inside you. Your hands pressed his back causing him to somehow sink deeper into you. He moaned on your shoulder, feeling his fucking leaking from you, through his balls, on your leg.

His body collapsed on top of you, you kissed his shoulder, his neck. After his breaths stabilized, he raised his head to kiss you, soft, affectionate. He moved so you could lie down and bring you to lie on his chest.

"You're amazing" he said, moving your hair away from your back.

"And, you wouldn't ask me out, like, never"

He smiled.

"I think you need to reward me for lost time"

He looked at you. Smiling satisfied.

"I can start with today, after your work"

You snapped your eyes, you were going to get up quickly, but he held you.

"You can be a few minutes late"

You snuggled up on his skin.

“Sweetheart?”

“Mhmm?”

“When you said I eliminated all the competition, were you serious?”

You looked at him smiling.

“It’s not like there’s a line of men at the door of my house, but, yeah, I was serious, I mean, I’m not crazy not to take advantage of you”

He kissed the top of your head.

“You are a dangerous woman”

"Yeah?..." you bit your lips.

He pulled his leg to be on top of his.

"Yeah" He said quietly, knitting his eyebrows.

You kissed the skin of his chest, he slid his hands down your spine. Your arm grabbed his waist, his fingers caressed your arms.

“You’d better get ready, because if you’re willing, I intend to be the last man of your life”

Maybe you missed your work on this day.

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ Being Poly w/ Stray Kids {Summer Vacation D1} ♡

♡ I got a request for some poly fluff where you get to see how your boyfriends take care of you. I figured there's no better time than your first summer vacation together to experience it ♡

♡ Reader is a chubby babe ♡

♡ Felix ♡

the one you wake up to because he's been cuddling you all night, only really moving to go to the bathroom

has the morning voice of a demon but is a total angel, giving you kisses while asking about your dreams/how you slept

comes with you to do your morning skin routines together, cracking jokes to make you smile when you start feeling grumpy about being up so early

stays behind to straighten up the bathroom because he has to make sure his love eats breakfast before she starts the day

♡ Bang Chan ♡

fell asleep 2 hours ago but set his alarm to wake up and make you all of your favorite breakfast foods from back home

has a list of things to do/sights to see during this trip that he thought you might like. it took him weeks to put it together but you're worth the effort

set the room he's sharing with bini up just the way you like it so that you can come sleep with them tonight

massages your legs while you eat your food because being curled up in a cuddle ball for eight hours has left you a little tight

♡ Changbin ♡

picks out a pair of comfy clothes for you to wear and helps put your hair up into a cute, albeit messy, ponytail♡ changbin salon ♡

fills his backpack with ice water and whatever you want so you have everything you need for the run along the beach he's taking you on

puts aside his typically strict approach to fitness to turn the "run" into a playful game of tag that finally wakes you up for the day

gives you a piggyback ride when you get tired and pauses every time you hint that you see something you might be interested in

♡ Hyunjin♡

has the shower running for you when you get back to the house. he joins you if you'd like him to or hangs around outside talking about the most random things with you

already picked out an outfit for you to wear today so that the two of you match and encourages you to take your time with makeup

brings you with him to browse through cute shops on the boardwalk, buying you little souvenirs to take home

convinces you to pose for pictures for him and surprises you with them in a scrapbook down the line

♡ Lee Know ♡

steals you away to take you on a car ride to a super secret destination. also maintains his self control when Han and I.N insist on coming

said secret destination ends up being the kitty cafe you've been talking about every day since it popped up in your Insta feed

spends a good amount of money renting out a private room where you can stay as long as you want. you even get to name a cat

comforts you when you get a little teary eyed because you don't want to leave those sweet babies behind

♡ Han ♡

sees an arcade and immediately thinks it's the perfect thing to take your mind off of the fact that you, unfortunately, can't have 30 fur babies

goes super hard at every game he plays to make sure he wins enough tickets to get you the plushie that you want

distracts the other two completely and totally on accident when you're playing against them so that you never lose

keeps asking if you need anything/if everything's okay when the arcade starts to fill up more since he wants you to be comfortable

♡ I.N ♡

rides in the backseat with you, controlling the aux to shuffle through the playlist he made for you

has zero hesitation when it comes to singing along to songs with you, screaming the lyrics at the top of his lungs. he loves a good duet

rolls the windows down so that you can feel the ocean air and fixes your hair when the wind blows it all over

lets you take a nap on him if you get a little sleepy, quietly nagging Lino not to hit any bumps or make any sharp turns because he wants you to sleep peacefully

♡ Seungmin ♡

builds a fort out of pillows and blankets for the two of you to hide out in while the others bicker about what to do for the rest of the day

has you bring your plushie/souvenirs with you into said adorable fort because he wants to hear every little detail about your day so far

goes outside to get the grill started for dinner, knowing that the collective fear of him burning the place down will bring the other guys together

keeps you on his lap even when the others whine about it, sheilding you from the chaos of a stray kids dinner even if it means occasionally becoming the chaos himself

[alexablissmark]

detention (part 1) [hook x female reader]

you get a detention and your least favorite person decides to join you. female reader.

warnings: angst, bullying, gossip, middle school trauma, shootings, manipulation, nudes, swearing, suicide, intimidation, bad puns, revoked privilege

this is slightly based on personal experiences and my own schools stupid attendance policy ♡

For the third time this week, you left the house too late. For the second time this week, your car wouldn't start. And for the first time this week, you received a detention.

What a stupid policy.

You'd think school would be the one place where being late is forgiven. People would be kind and empathetic towards you and understand that there are millions of factors going into being in class before 8AM, most of which are out of your control. Right?

Wrong.

Well, surely you'd only have to make up the five minutes of class that'd you have missed? It's not a big deal.

Also, wrong.

Fifty minutes for every tardy after the two "freebies" as they had called it. So there you were, sitting in detention. Detention started at 3:35. If you were late, they sent you home, and you had to serve a second one. You made sure you were there by 3:33, at the latest. There were a few people already there. You sat a table by yourself. Two to a table, please. There came in a few more kids after you. It was a busy day for detention.

"Julia?" The teacher, Mr. Regal, called.

"Here," she said.

"Brittany?"

"Here,"

"Adam?"

"Here,"

"Max?"

"Here,"

"Tyler?"

"Here,"

"Y/N?"

"Here,"

That's when you stopped listening to roll-call.

The aforementioned Tyler sat next to you. Not because he wanted to, but because it was the last open seat available, and he walked in last. Tyler was basically the embodiment of everything a dad wanted his son to be. Young, handsome, athletic, seemingly well-mannered. But to you, he was everything but well-mannered. He was nothing except a cold-hearted devil.

Even though you've been going to the same school your entire life, it'd been hard to make friends. The closed off community you had been forced to surround yourself with was filled with nothing but elitists.

(a/n: see what i did there? imso funny hahaha please laugh)

Your first run-in with Tyler was in first grade. He sat at your table. He took scissors to your hair. When the teacher came over, it looked like you were the one who did it. He never said sorry and was mean to you for the rest of the year. You got your scissor privileges taken away. His friends joined in on teasing you sometime during second grade.

After fourth grade, they stopped being mean to you in your face and spread rumors instead. It earned you a visit to the principals office with police officers waiting for you. A list had been found by a "concerned student" and was brought to the schools attention. The student said he believed it to be you. Except, the handwriting looked nothing like yours. It was messy and gross. Kindergartener-like. You thanked Ms. Aubrey for bringing it up during your visit. You were let go.

Eventually, the teasing and school shooter rumors turned into notes in lockers. Notes with lines of daring you to kill yourself and condemning you to hell. You never reported them. You didn't bother. You had other things to worry about, anyway. Better things, like the spelling bee. You won the spelling bee in 6th grade. Tyler was the other finalist. It felt really, really good. You smiled at him when you won. He just squinted his eyes at you, trying to intimadate you. But nothing could intimidate a world-class champion, such as yourself.

He didn't start bothering you again until the end of 8th grade. He asked you for pictures. You told him no. He still told everybody you sent them to him anyway. You were deemed "too slutty" for anyone to want to be friends with you after that. That was the consensus all the way up until now. Junior year.

Now you were sitting across from the one person who had made your life a living hell for the past 10 years. You didn't even know why. You've never done anything to him. Did he resent you for something? Or was he just trying to entertain himself with the shy kid with a different sense of style? Maybe it was none of the above.

Thoughts like this crossed your mind as you pretended to read a book. You looked at the clock. It was only 3:45. You looked at Tyler. He was already looking at you. You gave him a weird look and went back to fake reading. He slid you a note.

"why u reading that?" it said.

You quietly opened your pencil pouch so as not to draw attention to the highly punishable note-passing. Mr. Regal enforced rules by the book, and you did not want to spend another day here wasting your time. You could hear a pen drop in that room. Any sort of noise would mean certain death.

"i found it in the library," you wrote back.

Tyler was writing some sort of response until a hand snatched the paper away. You looked up with a hint of fear in your eyes.

"Passing notes?" Mr. Regal exclaimed. "You two know better. Especially as juniors. That's another detention for you both!"

If looks could kill, Mr. Regal would be dead on the floor. You had incredibly important napping plans for tomorrow. Tyler probably had lacrosse practice or something sporty like that. You and Tyler looked at each other, but you quickly went back to pretend reading. It was only 3:50 at that point. Could time go by any slower?

You actually started to find yourself interested in the book you were reading, and you quickly got lost in its world. But that was cut short when Mr. Regal said everyone could go. It was 4:25 by then.

You were walking to your car when you heard a voice call behind you.

"Hey!" it said.

You looked behind you.

Here we go.

"What, Tyler?"

"I just wanted to say that's my favorite book you were reading," he said with a slight smirk.

You rolled your eyes.

"Whatever," you said.

You began to continue your walk to the back of the parking lot. You didn't like to park next to others.

He followed you to your car. You checked your phone and the time read 4:32.

"What?" you said, annoyed.

Your back was to your driver-side door. He put his hands on either side of you.

"I just think it's impressive someone like you could read such profound literature," he said sarcastically.

"Shut the fuck up, Tyler. It's literally your fault we have to go back to detention tomorrow," you said.

"You didn't have to answer back," he said.

"You didn't have to talk to me in the first place," you snapped back.

"I wanted to talk to you," he answered.

"I didn't," you said while crossing your arms.

"I think you're a liar," he whispered.

"I think you should eat a dick, bitch," you said aggressively.

The tension was ever-rising between the two of you. Years and years of hate between you both had finally come to its peak. All the while, he had you pinned beneath him, and you had nowhere to go. Your faces were only inches apart. His eyes locked into yours. After a few seconds, you looked away. You'd die if anyone saw you like that with Tyler of all people. Luckily, no one did. He didn't seem to really care. He sighed and walked away.

You got into your car and went home.

The time was 4:56 when you got to your room.

You took a nap, which you didn't wake up from until 6:45 the next morning.

School went by really fast that day. And when you got to the detention room, luckily it wasn't Mr. Regal. It was the principal, Mr. Khan. He was nice and understanding, but a lot of times, he let things fly under the radar. He seemed to only punish people for small things - like being late and note passing.

Unluckily, it was just you and Tyler that day. He sat across from you again.

this got too long so part 2 will b out soon ♡

[theresattrpgforthat]

Review Two, Electric Boogaloo: Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy

This is my second review for Eureka, as the document has been majorly updated, and the designers are gearing up to fund it on Kickstarter from April 10 to May 10.

This game is an investigative game meant for mysteries that incorporate a large amount of action and horror. I’m going to break down some of the interesting things Eureka does, and talk about who I think would be a good audience for it.

Graded Success

Eureka uses 2d6 for pretty much every roll, with the possibility of ending up with a failure, a partial success, or a full success. You can add modifiers from various different places, such as your skills, your fear, and your player Truth. The breadth of this game and the game philosophy behind it means that it is not a Powered by the Apocalypse style game - Eureka is its own beast.

Investigation

There are two kinds of rolls in Eureka - investigative and non-investigative. When you are not investigating, success and failure will mostly be determined by what makes sense in the fiction. For investigative rolls, regardless of success or failure, your character will receive investigation points.

I really like this mechanic because even if you fail, your character makes progress - and in fact, since you gain more investigation points when you fail, this plays as if your character is able to use their failures to arrive at a conclusion later in the story.

This is a great time to talk about the Investigation Bar, which is the central focus of the game. When you fill the Investigation Bar, you get a Eureka! This could be a chance to get a vital piece of information, or to tip the narrative scales into your character’s favor.

Precious Information - Secretive Play

Secrets are important in Eureka. The Narrator has secrets of course - the answers to the mystery, the motives of the NPCs, the supernatural that is hiding around the corner - but the players do to. If you are a vampire, a werewolf, a psychic, etc., you are encouraged to wait until a dramatically appropriate moment in the game to reveal this information.

This presents a very specific style of play. Eureka is an ideal game for folks who want to procedurally uncover information, and game masters who like using pre-determined, pre-written mysteries, with motives, clues and events mapped out. How these mysteries are solved still depends on what happens in play, but as a GM, you’ll have plenty of sources to draw on when the characters ask questions.

Eureka also prepares players for messy relationships between their characters. If you want your characters to misunderstand each-other, compete with each-other, or even betray each-other, that is an option in this game. These complicated relationships might even give birth to a secondary plot line for the characters to follow as they try to solve the mystery, especially if they want to find the answers for different reasons. I think it has the potential to make Eureka a multi-layered storytelling experience.

Procedurals

This multi-layered experience is possible only if you have one or more members of the group who are dedicated to taking notes. Because the information being relayed to the characters is so important, it’s crucial that the players remember that information.

In some ways, this reminds me of games where players are expected to get inventive with the tools they have. Players are given pieces of information, and then asked to put the pieces together while in character. The handing out of this information is similar to what I’ve heard described in GUMSHOE - obvious clues will not require a roll - but what is done with that information is up to the players.

I think this might be why playing in longer games or campaigns might be a really good format for Eureka, because it allows characters to piece together a big mystery over a long period of time. This is a game that requires a large amount of investment from both players and game-master alike; this is procedural play in which the narrative emerges from the procedure.

Horror

Eureka thrives with horror, and while the game is meant to be compatible with adventures with various systems, that doesn’t mean that it is genre-agnostic. There are dark things in the corners of this world, whatever it may be, and those things will scare and stress out your characters. There are a number of mechanics that tie Eureka to horror really well.

First is Composure, which is a replacement for sanity mechanics of games like Call of Cthulhu. Your character can only take so much emotional stress before it starts to inhibit their ability to perform certain tasks. If you lose enough Composure, you’ll find yourself hindered in the amount of positive modifiers you can apply to any given action. I like how this replicates how stressors can inhibit it personal performance - and the fact that Composure can be regained means that you can moderate how gruelling the gameplay is.

There’s also character Truths, which aren’t necessarily horrific, but can give you a reason to take the less-than-optimal path in any given situation. Similar to Vice in World of Darkness, you can gain a modifier to a situation in which your character chooses to act in a way that is in line with their Truth, even if there is another option available. This is a mechanical reward for playing true to your character, flaws and all.

The game also asks you to personalize the fears associated with your character. These fears may trigger Composure Rolls, or apply modifiers to them to make them harder to pass. These fears may also be cues to give to your Narrator, indicating what kinds of things you want to inhibit your character, and what kinds of things you want your character to be able to face with little difficulty.

Toolbox

There are elements of Eureka that are optional, which are there to help tailor your game experience. For example, you can include a Ticking Clock to give your players a dead-line or heighten the suspense, which can focus the game and also make it feel more like a thriller.

You can also tailor the skills to make the game fit a certain setting, such as prioritizing horseback riding or driving cars - or perhaps increasing the medical skills to make this a mystery much more focused on biology and medical practises.

The game also has many nods to various forms of detective fiction, as well as supernatural mysteries, action pulp films, and film noir. You can see this primarily in character abilities, which come as a big list of things you can pick and choose and pair together for a unique character.

All in all, if you want a game where Columbo, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Indiana Jones can all be in the same adventuring party, you might want to check out Eureka.

You can find a free download version of Eureka here, and keep an eye out for the Kickstarter here!

[midnight-vixn]

-shuffles back in with more thirsts because I'm apparently insatiable for 2D demon men-

Everyone thinks Barbatos is a service top. I disagree, that man is a pleasure dom. He spends all day chasing after Diavolo and the brothers, when he's alone with you he just loses himself in you, if you're lucky he'll listen to your begging but he's not stopping until he's given you orgasms in the double digits. Your blissed out face, shaking legs and incoherent moans are the reward he thrives for.

Leviathan loves to be tied up and ridden like he's your last lifeline. However, sometimes, he can get too riled up and he'll literally snap the ropes and his "Commander of the Navy" side comes out. Then you're face down as he pounds into you, giving you orders and just using you. (But his aftercare is legendary, you go to sleep that night after a long bath with Leviathan wrapped around you, his tail coiled around your leg)

Beelzebub loves to whisper praises into your ear as he roughly fucks you in a mating press. He'll pepper your face with kisses as he bottoms out inside you with every thrust. He also loves eating you out but is very messy with it and he loves it when you are too. No matter what genitals you have, they're messy when he's done. He's also a service top, ask him for anything and it's yours. Though he does sometimes get a bit lost in the pleasure when his own release is getting close.

Belphegor gets possessive during sex. It's the most animated anyone ever sees him, it's like his energy has been saved up for this. He likes to tie you up, use toys, use spreader bars, drip wax, spank and bite. Anything that gets you begging for him while he growls in your ear how he owns you and how he's claim you. You're his and all the bite marks prove it.

Simeon is a master of dirty talk, underneath that angel facade is a dirty talking, kink loving switch who loves to experiment. He cherishes you as his slow but firm thrusts fill you up, he's cupping your cheek and asking what he can do to make you feel good. If he's not asking what you want, he's telling you how good you feel or how much he adores and treasures you. If you want to try something in the bedroom, he'll research how to do it safely but will always try things out with you.

Satan, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo and Lucifer all fantasise about breeding you (whether for a child or just pumping you FULL). Something in them snaps as soon as you plead for them to cum inside you.

Mammon, Levi, Asmodeus, Solomon and Barbatos all have an element of "switch" to them. Levi is the easiest to switch, Barbatos is the hardest, but as soon as he does "sub" for you, his moans are addictive and he's not above begging if you edge him too much. Just don't push his buttons too far, his switch might flick again and he won't show mercy.

I’m losing my miiiiiiind these are so *clenches fist* YES!

Barbatos gets so drunk off your love, the way you feel ignites a flame in him that can only be doused by fucking you until you’re a quivering mess. He takes such good care of you afterwards though so it’s okay if he goes a little feral.

YES YOU GET IT!!! Leviathan being a whimpering mess while you use him like your personal dildo, his hands and legs tied down to the bed so he writhes underneath you but you push him over the line and he breaks the ropes and has you pinned down before you can blink. Railing you like one of his many fleshlights and leaving bite marks all over, apologizing in between moans but you just feels so fucking good. I am a puddle sir please

Oh my goooood listen I could write a twelve page essay on Beel and his oral fixation. He’s always down to go down, in fact after a while he develops this bad habit of just…pulling your bottoms off around the house and going to fucking town. He’ll apologize but he’s not that sorry, you taste too good and he’s bored and hungry. Beel has a skilled tongue that can reach places you never imagined possible but DEAR GOD THE MAN CAN SUCK A COCK, he licks/sucks gently at first like he’s savoring a sucker or something but he gets so worked up that eventually he’s drooling all over your thighs and sucking like his life depends on it, humping against your leg/the bed/the floor/ honestly whatever he can to get some relief.

SAME BRAIN BABE SODKSJS Belphie is a lazy little shit and will shamelessly try to feel you up literally anywhere just because he likes how flustered you get. He gets you worked up just so he can pin you down and fuck you like a wild animal, he’ll drain you of all your energy and still be horny which leads into his somno kink, he absolutely loves fucking you while you fall asleep on his cock. There’s not enough concealer in the world to help hide the amount of bruises and hickeys on your body so you end up wearing them like a prize to RAD.

Oh lord Simeon being a dirty little freak someone help!! I feel like he’s shy at first, not wanting you to think he’s a freak but he soon forgets that and just gets lost in your body, worshipping you in his own way.

BREEDING KINK MY BELOVED SLCKSNSNSNND oh god yes, they don’t even care about kids at this point they just like they way you look when they fill you up and love watching it drip back out!!

[subsystems]

Do you have any tips for system mapping as a polyfragmented system? Every time we've tried to make one we've just gotten overwhelmed by how many parts there are and how much we don't know

Hi anon! I have some advice based off of my own experience. I hope it will work for you (I'm sorry if it doesn't, though). First, I want to stress that it's okay if you can't create a perfect system map. I've never been able to make one that felt 100% correct, and I've tried many times!

Being dissociative can make it quite difficult to understand what's going on internally. You might have a hard time understanding yourself as an individual part, let alone understanding the other parts in your system. On top of that, your system might have some complex inner organization, like subsystems or parts-within-parts. Don't even get me started on how amnesia can make this all even more confusing, too!

So, remember to cut yourself some slack when it comes to system mapping. Your struggles with it are completely understandable!

Tips for System Mapping When Your System is Confusing as Hell

Make your own template.

A lot of pre-made system mapping templates contain things that don't apply to everyone, aren't important to everyone, or not everyone knows enough about their parts to answer. Some designs might not fit how your system functions. So, if pre-made templates don't work for you...don't use them! Try making your own!

When it comes to your own template, I think it's important to be mindful of your current stage of recovery. If you don't know a lot of things about your parts, that's okay -- that's where you're at in your recovery right now. In that case, you probably shouldn't create a template that requires you to write down a ton of information. Allow yourself to include your confusion and questions into your system map!

Think about what you want to keep track of when it comes to your parts. What would be the most useful things for you and your therapist to know? Yours will probably look different but here was the template that I settled on:

Does the part have a name?

Do they feel younger or older than the body?

What are they associated with?

Anything else?

And here's an example of how I would fill this out:

Does the part have a name? I don't think so

Do they feel younger or older than the body? Much younger

What are they associated with? The color yellow, puppies, childhood, abandonment, crying

Anything else? Likes puppies and drawing, sometimes buys candy without our knowing, unsure if this is one part or actually several

Get messy with it.

I understand the desire to have a neat system map. I've always wanted to have a perfect list of all my parts, all the important details about them, maybe organized into some sort of chart too. But these things doesn't always capture the complexities of being dissociative and having parts. Sometimes, you got to get messy.

I feel like the closest I ever came to a system map that felt the most "right" was in my therapist's sand tray. I picked out different figurines to represent my parts, placing some closer together than others. I would also move the sand, making big and low hills beneath and between parts, burying some things, cutting lines around other things. Something like this picture, but way more chaotic:

You can do this at home. You don't even need sand or figurines. You could grab some objects from around the house or outside, print or cut out pictures, grab some paints, scribble on paper, sculpt something out of clay, etc. Pick out something to represent certain parts or feelings or situations. Place them wherever, move them however, just let it kind of unfold naturally. Then take a picture of it and/or write about it (so you don't forget)!

Maybe put the trauma stuff somewhere else.

You'll probably feel tempted to record trauma memories and triggers associated with parts -- but it's probably best to write that stuff down somewhere else! You want your system map to be something that all parts can look at. Try not to jump-scare them with trauma that they may or may not know about yet.

This won't apply to everyone but, in my own experience, including stuff like this in our system map triggered our avoidance. Not only did it make creating the system map harder, it also resulted in some parts destroying/hiding what we wrote as a way to protect themselves and other vulnerable parts.

Aaand that's all I have to say, I think. Good luck with your system mapping, anon! - Sunflower

[ceasarslegion]

All the people clowning on that post are ridiculous.

You are not wrong. You are absolutely correct. Living with actual health hazards (there is rotting food on the floor and mildewing clothes) is very different than "I have a mountain of clean clothes that aren't put away cause my depression has been really bad the last few weeks so my room is messy or I can't sit on the left side of the couch". If you can go to work then you can take a day or a half-day off once a month and clean up after yourself for the betterment of yourself and your symptoms. Part of getting better and improving your situation and health (both physical and mental) is doing the work (which YES is hard) to actually care for your body and lived environment.

We talk about other people enabling us to continue bad habits and harmful behaviors but we don't talk enough about the things we do to ourselves. Which are just as if not MORE important. So thank you for saying that! It matters and people need to hear uncomfortable truths!

And anyone who read that post and took personal issue with it because they actually live like that and it made them immensely uncomfortable because of their own shame around it which you literally (and I can't stress this enough) have nothing to do with needs to reevaluate their situation and accept that they can't live without a caretaker because they're at a point in their life where they can't adequately meet their own basic needs. If someone can't legally do it to a child (providing only unclean clothing, biohazard-filled living space, spoiled food, unclean dishes to eat it with, etc.) without it being abused/neglect, then they are not meeting their own needs and I understand that it might hurt to hear that, but it's the truth and it's a disservice to everyone to not say it. If people aren't saying it, then no one knows where the line is that says "if you cross this you need help and you need it NOW".

So, thank you for making that post even though people are losing their minds over it. I'm sure it's hard to hear that you're not doing a good enough job, but sometimes that needs to be said and, yes, they might not be doing a good enough job BECAUSE of a disability or other issues but that changes literally nothing. It's still not good enough and it can be improved only by them intentionally trying to improve it. Dancing around stuff like this and trying to say nothing that will upset/bother/hurt anyone is genuinely a disservice.

10/10 post. Hope you're getting reasonable breaks from the ridiculousness that everyone is throwing at you ❤️ sorry everyone is taking it in SUCH bad faith

^^^ thank you for being the first person who knows how to read

It's. Frustrating. It's so frustrating how absolutely no one wants to take responsibility for themselves the moment it gets hard. The moment it gets uncomfortable they shut down and scream that you're being ableist for asking an adult to take responsibility for themselves even if they have a mental illness.

The thing is, life IS harder when you have a disability, mental or otherwise. But guess what? That is never going to change. The world will not stop for you just because it's unfair. There is no point in kicking your feet and pouting that it's unfair that you have to do more work than that neurotypical person to keep yourself clean and healthy because nobody did that TO you, it just is. And like, life is unfair to everybody. That is the one universal thing we all experience. Sorry I guess?

I also just like, can not stand how people flip their absolute shit the moment I stop talking to them like little kids. I didn't baby them or coo and go "uwu it's okay if you have mold in your house!" so they immediately took me saying "youre an adult, you need to act like one. Idgaf if you're depressed there are still responsibilities you have towards yourself now" as me denying their mental illness and on par with "have you tried not being sad?"

And like dude, if you can't even handle that from some guy online, I shudder to think of how developmentally behind they are from no ones fault but their own. They talk about mental illness like it makes them forever children unable to ever take any responsibility for themselves, and anyone who points out that no, you're still an adult whether you're sick or not and adulthood comes with certain responsibilities as an attack against them. So they attack back even though nobody swung at them, or even said anything they accused me of saying or implying.

And it's infuriating to those of us who actually made the effort. It's infuriating as someone who fought through all the bs that mental illness comes with in order to get better. It doesn't mean I don't struggle, or that I'm somehow cured, and I never once said that cleaning your room would cure your depression btw, but there is a fine line between struggling with your symptoms and letting them win.

And im so fucking sick of anti-recovery rhetoric. How often do you see someone get dog piled with "WHY ARE YOU CLASSIST YOU SHITTY WEALTH HOARDER YOU SAID THAT MEDICATION AND THERAPY HELPS BUT IM POOR YOU THINK IM A BAD PERSON FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO AFFORD IT"

[sunshinebingo]

The Things Autumn Did To Me

Merry Christmas @thelov3lybookworm!!! 🎁 It has been so nice to meet you through @acotargiftexchange and I had a great time secretly interacting with you. I had a lot of fun experimenting with your gift too (you and I have a lot in common btw 😌). I really hope that you will enjoy the slight mess that is this fic 🤭

***

Synopsis: Two months into their convenient marriage and Gwyneth and Azriel still have very strong feelings for each other. Is it really the hate that they claim it to be, or something else? Not even they can tell.

However, another chance at tackling the failed mission that has led them to where they are will make the two spies face something that they have both been afraid of. After all, the line separating hate from desire can be very thin.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warning: None for this chapter

Find the Masterlist here

Read Chapter 1 on Ao3 or below the cut

“Wife,” he sneered.

“Husband,” she sneered back.

Azriel walked to end of the table and sat down, carefully adjusting his wings behind him.

“Glad to see that you are still alive,” he said, pulling the plate that his wife had already filled for him closer.

“Glad to know that I am still the funny one,” Gwyn replied without looking up from her own plate.

Morning greeting, checked. Daily verification that his partner was still breathing, checked. What was left to do before breakfast? Ah right... Check the food for poison. His shadows made a sweep around the table, ensuring that nothing would lead to him dropping sick or dead.

When he finally raised his cup of tea to his lips after their quick inspection, his eyes landed on a pair of teal ones across the table. Azriel internally shuddered at Gwyn’s piercing gaze and at how her lips turned into a feline smirk.

“It will happen when you least expect it,” she said, then dug a knife into her pancakes.

Azriel snorted. As if she could sneak past his trusty shadows. They might have an odd affection for her – unlike their master – but they were still loyal to him. Many believed that, being a Shadowsinger, Azriel had full control over his shadows. He refrained from letting others know that they also tended to have a mind of their own. Like the little wisp which was currently ignoring him and was slowly making its way between the bowl of fruit and the teapot to reach her.

Gwyn’s eyes followed the movement of the shadow until it reached her hand and started swirling around her fingers, especially the one adorned with a silver band – a perfect match to the one on his own ring finger – that glinted against her pale, freckled skin. Her smile softened for the shadow in a way it never did for him.

While she watched the shadow, Azriel watched her. The rich copper hair that was put up in a very messy bun atop her head with random strands that escaped and which fell around her face, her pointed ears where she wore several simple studs, her nose and cheeks across which lay a scattering of freckles, as if someone had tossed them with a careless hand, her plump lips, her eyes. Those bright eyes that had unsettled him from the very first time he had looked into them. A depthless teal ocean that often seemed like they could see straight through him. Gwyn was a creature of cruel beauty and Azriel hated her more for it.

When she looked up from the shadow playing with her hand, Azriel lowered his eyes to his food before she could see the thoughts that he always tried his hardest to hide in her presence.

“Is there something on my face?” she asked.

“Yes,” he replied, stirring his tea despite having added nothing to it.

“Well,” she went on, unable to stay quiet for long, as always. “What is it?”

“You look...” the shadows whispered an assortment of words though none that he was willing to use. Instead, he responded with, “...like you slept in a tree.”

Gwyn let out a snicker. “That would certainly be better than trying to sleep while listening to your pacing all night.”

It took him a few seconds to understand and none more to feel stupid about it. The endless pacing had nothing to do with the work he did at this hour and everything to do with him trying to focus while also attempting to block out the sound of her thumping heart and that of her mumblings while she slept. His office was right above her bedroom on the third level and he had selfishly never stopped to think that she might hear him walking around on the wooden floor when he could hear her too. He had tried to work in other rooms instead but the pestering of his shadows and their insistence to be close to her was even more annoying. At least in his office they shut up and contended themselves with spreading on the floor while listening to her.

It was the first time in the whole two months since they had been living together that she was mentioning it. Surprising of her since she often found something to complain about him. He did the same but, unlike hers, his complaints about her were at least justified.

“Some Spymaster you are,” she mumbled around a mouthful, “Not even able to walk without raising the dead.”

Azriel looked up at her and smirked. “I do it on purpose to piss you off.”

Gwyn swallowed her food. Her face remained impassive when she spoke again. “You do that well enough by just existing.”

He did not respond. He only held her gaze, risking getting lost in her ocean eyes, until footsteps were heard entering the dining room and someone cleared their throat.

“A letter arrived from the Prince of Autumn,” Roslin, their maid and one of the very few persons aware of the truth behind their union, announced and handed an envelope to Gwyn. Roslin had been Gwyn’s trusted maid when she lived in the Forest House. She was also a spy and had helped Gwyn with maintaining her second identity in the Autumn Court by covering up her secret activities. She offered Roslin her thanks with a usual friendly smile before the maid left the dining room.

“What is it?” Azriel asked, eyes narrowed on the folded paper that Gwyn took out of the envelope.

“Hopefully something that will get me as far away from you as possible.”

Her comment suddenly made him want to spend his entire day being as close to her as he could. Not because he liked her company whatsoever. Their shared mission already ensured that they spent a ridiculous amount of time together. Including sharing a house and attempting to look like an oh so happy couple in public.

“I’m afraid, dear wife, that no one can get rid of me so easily. Least of all you.”

Azriel had learned a great deal since they sealed their marriage two months ago. He obviously learned a lot about Gwyn. And, surprisingly, a lot about himself too, especially his patience and tolerance of her.

Gwyn placed the empty envelope on the table, picked up a little spoon and brandished it at Azriel as though it was a dagger. “I could kill you with this,” she narrowed her eyes at him.

“I’m trembling,” he deadpanned. The shadows snickered around him.

He had always taken pride in his infinite patience. That was one of the qualities that made him the best at his job. But somehow, the female sitting across from him, reading her letter as if she wasn’t the bane of his existence, had found ways to challenge almost all of his skills, including his ability to remain calm under any circumstance, and also his ability to charm any female and male alike. That last skill would not be of much use anymore anyway since, to the rest of the world, all of it was now supposed to be reserved for Gwyn only. His wife. The one who made him lose his godsdamned mind in every possible way.

It was not as though he had ever seduced anyone in hope of anything more but a few hours of pleasure. His family thought that he refused to commit to a serious relationship, much less marriage, because his job was too dangerous to rope a potential partner in such things. Being the Spymaster and non-official torturer of his court made Azriel do things that most would cower to do and put him in dangers few were willing to face.

The reality was that Azriel did not want anyone to feel shackled to him. Although he had witnessed many successful relationships in his life, including the couples in his found family, his childhood had left more scars on him than those on his burned hands. He had witnessed what a monster his sire had been to his mother. For so long Azriel had feared that his resemblance to the cruel male might be more than physical. He feared that the beast he became when he tortured for the protection of his court might scare away a partner, or even worse, hurt them. So, instead of taking the risk, he preferred to block out the possibility of finding out altogether.

His several centuries as a spy might have made him an expert in the art of seduction, but he was empty handed when it came to true romantic feelings. Azriel doubted anyone with a bit of common sense would willingly stay with him if they knew how little he knew about love. Save for his family, the one with which he was related in every way except for blood, he had never let anyone close enough to his heart to feel such things. That was why he had been more than a little nervous when Rhysand and Eris had suggested this marriage, despite being aware that it was one of convenience. Imposed was a better word than suggested. Though even if Rhysand was his High Lord, Azriel could have still been opposed to his brother’s orders. But he did see the necessity of the situation, especially for Gwyn.

Since she was herself a spy, he knew that Gwyn had also seen her fair share of danger and blood. He knew what she also had to do to protect her court. Being from the Autumn Court and secretly acting with Eris against her High Lord for the greater good of Prythian, Azriel knew that her position had been more precarious than his. For Gwyn, this marriage was not just to keep plotting against Beron to put Eris on the throne. It was also to save her life. If the High Lord of Autumn found out that the lady who had lived in his home her whole life was a spy trying to bring him down, death would prove to be a small mercy for her.

For most, it might seem like their paths had crossed at one of the High Lord and Ladies’ meeting in Autumn, which also involved important members of all the seven courts and had fallen so deeply in love that they had been married in the same week. 

The truth was that they had met several times before that to exchange information about what Beron was up to behind closed doors. Gwyn was the one who Eris trusted to pass on information about his father’s secret plans. She had been like a beam in the night on their first meeting in a wood bordering her court. She had looked like she had been crafted by the capable hands of the Mother herself.

Gwyn had also looked like she was not happy at all with the new secret alliance between the Night Court and the Autumn Prince. Azriel had not been either. Even now, he was still suspicious of Eris’ true intentions when it came to this alliance. Azriel despised the arrogant Prince. He despised Autumn Court and anything that had to do with it. He had never wanted to work alongside one of them, but fate had apparently decided otherwise.

“I bet you would read that thing faster if it was smut,” he complained when she remained silent while her eyes kept going back and forth on the letter.

Gwyn looked up at him with another scowl. “Shut up and quit distracting me.”

With a flicker of her hand, she summoned a small golden flame that she then ran across the ivory page. She read the hidden message that Eris had left there for her before burning the entire letter along with the envelope.

“It’s an invitation from Eris,” she finally explained. “Autumn Solstice is being held at the Forest House in a week.”

Azriel cursed. As a former member, it was natural for the redhead to be invited to celebrate with the rest of her home court. But looking at Gwyn, he saw what she was not saying. This event would be their second, possibly last chance to get a hand on Beron’s plans and avoid a possible war, or at least prepare for an eventual one. Something else also shone in his wife’s eyes. A determination that this time, they would not fail. They should not. This marriage had been a last resort to hide Gwyn’s secret identity. It had been the only plan that Eris could come up with to get his cousin out of reach of his father before this one could start questioning her presence so close to his private quarters and start to suspect her.

“Well, my broody bat.”

Azriel rolled his eyes. Gwyn picked a bunch of grapes from the bowl and observed one carefully before popping it into her mouth. “I hope you’re ready to have some fun.”

“We’re going there on a mission Berdara. Not to party.”

Gwyn shrugged. “Who says one has to exclude the other.”

The two of them had different approaches to spying. Azriel preferred to keep to the dark. His shadows allowed him to remain unseen and unheard even in plain sight. He had always been the quiet kind of person, picking up clues by silently observing while his shadows searched for what was out of his reach. Gwyn, on the other, was the complete opposite. While she could also hide in plain sight, her talent was that of deception. She could have been a shape shifter with how easily she could adapt to and blend into any situation.

“How do you propose we do that?” he asked.

She pushed her empty plate aside and propped her elbows on the table.

“Well your shadows could signal us when the time is right.” She lifted the hand where a shadow was once again twirling in between her fingers and down her wrist.

“We’ll then pretend to sneak away to do what we were doing last time.”

Azriel’s fork stopped midway to his mouth. His shadows circled him excitedly, chanting their glee at Gwyn’s plan.

On the evening that had led to their current situation, Gwyn and Azriel were on a common mission to infiltrate Beron’s quarters to try and retrieve some incriminating documents about the High Lord of Autumn. These would have been the perfect proof to put Beron on trial for his actions against peace in Prythian. Unfortunately, a few wrong moves had led to them being caught where no one should have been. The only thing that had saved them then had been to act as if they had been a second away from having sex.

Azriel still remembered every single detail of it, from the very first second that Gwyn had grabbed his shirt and had pulled him down against her. He remembered how it had felt to have her in his arms, how her lips had moved fervently against his as if her life depended on it, which it did. If he closed his eyes, he could recall how her hands had felt as she had glided them across his chest, his arms, on his neck and the way she had tugged at the roots of his hair. How urgent those same hands had been when she had pull him closer by hooking a finger at the seam of his pants. The sounds she had made when his tongue had tangled with hers had been louder than the approaching footsteps of the guards. Perhaps it was in that exact moment, where his mission had shifted from those documents to her, that his shadows had started to become obsessed with her. More so than they had been since they started meeting for a few brief minutes to exchange information.

Everyone knew that Autumn Court faeries had fire in their veins. But only then had Azriel learned what the rumours were truly about. If a kiss that was devoid of feelings and which was only meant to fool the guards was like that, then Azriel did not even want to think about what a real kiss from her would be like. He refused to imagine it. The fake one had burned a big enough hole in him. Glancing at the Autumn female across the table, Azriel cursed her for having ruined every kiss he ever had before and certainly all others that he could have had if he was not bound to her.

“Or,” he proposed to prevent himself from spiralling deeper into their backstory and what it was doing to him. “We can just pretend to leave.”

Gwyn looked at him like he had said the stupidest thing ever. The last time he followed her lead had resulted in them getting married. What would happen this time? Would Eris find a random child that they would be forced to raise together to keep up their disguise? Azriel’s thoughts quieted when a shadow rushed from where it was hovering beside his left wing to remind him of what had prompted her to kiss him and he reluctantly agreed to the reasoning behind it.

He went on explaining the paths that they could take around the Forest House to avoid running into anyone if they followed his plan and how his shadows would help in the process.

“Well?”

He waited for her opinion when he finished.

“Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

Azriel closed his eyes and sighed. Fucking Autumn courts and their fucking hard heads. Fucking wife and her fucking stubbornness.

“You come up with something then, smart-ass.”

She started to open her mouth but Azriel cut her off. “Something that does not involve fucking in Beron’s quarters.”

Gwyn huffed. Her cheeks started to turn pink, probably from the fire coursing through her and which seemed to run hotter at every outburst. “I wasn’t about to say that, you dimwit.”

Azriel gave her another roll of his eyes before returning to his food. Gwyn said nothing more. Yet by looking at her face, the emotions that he was still learning to read there, Azriel could see the gears of her mind working. She remained like this for the whole time that he finished his breakfast.

When he was done, he rose from his chair and walked to her. He grabbed her chin between his thumb and index and lifted her head until she looked at him.

“We have a week to come up with a solid plan. There’s no need to fry up your head over this right away.”

He suspected that she was worried about going back while there were still talks about her. Leaving the Forest House was not so simply done without a proper reason after all, especially for someone who had been raised there. Several rumours had already rose about the lady who had so hastily left her home to settle in the Night Court with the infamous Shadowsinger. His reputation in Rhys’ inner circle alone had fuelled the suspicions of more than one person, including Beron.

Azriel dragged his thumb along the seam of her lips, right where a trace of the syrup from her pancakes was still glistening.

“You’ll need that brain of yours to come up with more creative insults for me. The ones you currently have are terrible,” he added.

Gwyn brought a hand to the one that held her face. She slowly wrapped her long fingers around his wrist without looking away from his face. More pink spread across her cheeks and made her freckles stood out. Azriel badly wanted to know what she was truly hiding behind those eyes in this moment.

“Can you please do something for me, my dear husband?” her voice came out like a soft breeze singing in the night. Azriel had the reflex to stop his wings from twitching.

“What is it?”

He convinced himself that his breathlessness had nothing to do with that voice which was sweeter than the sticky syrup on his finger. Her hand tightened around his wrist.

“Throw yourself off a cliff,” she gritted out and forcefully yanked his hand away. Gone was the sweet, melodic voice. Her chair made a loud screeching sound as she pushed it back and stood.

Azriel held in a chuckle when she raised her chin and stomped off of the living room. “See you later, my annoying husband.”

He followed her as he made his way to his room. “Sure, my petulant wife.”

They went up the stairs and reached the door to her room first. Gwyn paused with a hand on the handle. “Don’t miss me too much, my haughty husband.” She opened the door and walked inside.

Azriel stood at the threshold of her bedroom with his arms crossed and a smirk on his lips. “You wish, my Autumn witch.”

Gwyn’s returning smile was as wicked as a witch’s. “I know you will.” And she slammed the door in his face.

To Be Continued...

[mollfie]

I was reading a really good thread by a male SA survivor about how a lot of the fan sexualisation of Astarion makes them uncomfortable, how a lot of people seem to miss the nuance of his character, things they wish had been handled better, what he liked etc. I often forget how people can be super weird about traumatised characters like Astarion. He was not telling others how to enjoy their game, just talking about their experience, but brought up some great points that gave me something to think about.

I very much focus on the hurt/comfort nonsexual aspect first. I love the dynamic of Astarion healing and working out what he wants in all aspects of his life.

I wish the game allowed for more nuance regarding that. It would have been great to be able to really encourage Astarion to heal and assure him that you're not going anywhere beyond a line or two.

But, they're also all adult characters, and I think it's disingenuous to act as if abuse survivors can't enjoy sex and have ownership over their sexuality. I also would have liked the game to explore that more and had some more in-depth interactions where Tav or whoever could assure Astarion and be more supportive.

There's a few moments, such as with the Drow Twins, where I would have liked just one or two lines addressing consent and discomfort. I would be interested to hear why the writers made some of the choices they did.

I think a lot of fans don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. They just get caught up in the horniness of it all and are having fun. I also think a lot of people haven't finished Astarion's personal quest or played very far into the game or just don't think about it beyond them being fictional. And, it should go without saying that most people wouldn't behave the same way in real life.

Overall, I think Larian did a stellar job. Better than any other crpg I've played in recent years. Luckily, I am also very happy to fill in the gaps and head canon things I thought could be better.

I love Astarion because he is a complex character. I always like characters who are dealing with and overcoming their trauma, finding friendship/love/family, and maybe some revenge as a little treat. I like characters who are not nice. Let them be messy and awful and human. My favourite thing is when someone is terrible but trying to do better, and they are still loved even at their worst.

The way some people act about Neil Newbon, though, does weird me out. He has also mentioned how some elements hit close to home for him, and he drew on that for Astarion's characterisation while voice acting and working with the writers. He doesn't seem all that bothered by how people act, and he plays into the Astarion bit online and on streams. I just find some comments and content to be super out of pocket.

This is such a messy post. Just some rambling thoughts. Anyway, it was a good thread. I just have a lot of feelings. I could expand on this even further, but this post is long enough already.

[fanficapologist]

Of Dragons and Maelstroms

Themes and Warnings: slow burn, enemies to lovers, blood, violence, explicit language, sexual violence, period-typical misogyny, sexual themes, smut, tension, marriage, jealousy, pregnancy, childbirth, miscarriage, attempted sexual assault, breastfeeding, major character death, divergent timelines

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood/Game of Thrones characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Maera spent that evening engrossed in her secret collection of books, and was cautious to keep them well-hidden under her bed. She knew the information within those pages was not meant for prying eyes, especially in the unpredictable environment of the Red Keep, where spies loomed in the most unpredictable places. ‘A Caution for Young Girls’ proved to be an especially informative book. It was as if Maera’s distant great-aunt had known exactly what Maera needed to know.

One chapter had detailed about the sensitive bundle of nerves and the significance of stimulating it during sex, in order for the woman to receive optimum pleasure. Coryanne wrote that, of the men she had been with, most prioritised chasing their own high, rather than that of their partners. She also detailed of the hypocrisy of the Faith, who suggested women’s pleasure was seen as sinful, yet a man’s was a gift from the Gods, as ‘his seed could cause a woman’s womb to bear fruit.’ No wonder the Citadel has censored other copies of the book heavily. Maera thought to herself that if Lady Coryanne was still alive, they’d have gotten along very well indeed.

The following morning, Queen Helaena had granted Maera a brief respite from her usual duties as Helaena was experiencing pains in her stomach. She felt a twinge of concern about being dismissed during such a time, but she remained obedient to her Queen's command. Her new task involved spending time with the young Princes, Jaehaerys and Maelor, whilst their sister Princess Jaehaera was getting measured for her dress for the upcoming wedding.

The boys, aged four and two, seemed to be in need of attention and stimulation, and Jaehaerys had asked to spend the morning with his father, who was, unsurprisingly, not in the castle. He was probably stuck in a brothel in Flea Bottom, Maera thought, but to spare the little Prince’s feelings, she stated the King was away from the castle meeting with important Lords that morning. The disappointed face Jaehaerys displayed was much like Maera’s when she was young.

She could relate to the young boy’s desire for a closer relationship with his father, given her own experiences with Lord Jasper, who was often absent from Rain House for long periods of time. During his absences, Maera found solace in her brothers, seeking fatherly advice and attention from them. And even when the Master of Laws did return, he was interested in bedding his newest wife to further his line, rather than spending time with the rest of his large brood.

To entertain the young boys, Maera decided to take them to the training yard, accompanied by one of the nursery maids. She prepared for the messy task by dressing in her sparring gear of turquoise and black with her long hair pinned up and out of her face. Maera encouraged the nursery servants to dress the children in clothing suitable for outdoor activities, ones that they would not mind getting dirty.

The training yard was bustling with activity as Maera led young Jaehaerys and Maelor out into the open air. The clang of steel against steel filled the air as knights practiced their skills under the watchful eye of their master-at-arms, Ser Criston. Maera led the princes to a safer, more secluded gated area of the yard, away from the actual warriors and knights, producing some wooden weapons, shields and helmets for them.

Maera placed the helmets on each boys head before handing Jaehaerys a wooden training sword, its hilt smoothed from years of use. She crouched down to his eye level, a warm smile on her face. "Now, Prince Jaehaerys, you remember how we hold it, yes?"

The young prince nodded enthusiastically, gripping the hilt with both hands, his tiny face determined. "Like this, Lady Maera?"

"That's right," Maera praised, ruffling his hair affectionately. She turned her attention to Maelor, who was watching with wide, curious eyes. "And Maelor, you'll get your turn too, don't you worry."

As they began their practice, Maera gave them simple instructions, teaching them the basics of swordplay. She was patient and encouraging, praising their efforts with each swing and parry. She paid no heed to the warriors in the yard who looked on and commented on the audacity of a woman teaching the little Princes about sword fighting. However, Maera smiled to herself when she heard the remarks of the three squires she had beaten at sparring many moons ago, stating that the Lady was quite a skilled fighter.

Nevertheless, the children giggled and laughed as they swung their wooden swords at imaginary foes and monsters, lost in the thrill of the moment. Maera couldn't help but feel a deep sense of satisfaction as she watched them. It was moments like these that made her appreciate the bonds of family, even more so now that she was soon to be a part of the Targaryen lineage.

Memories of her older brothers in the training yard with her as a child littered her mind. Their initial teasing of her interrupting their training sessions evolved over time into admiration and interest. It was clear Maera had an innate skill with the sword, which was nurtured as she grew, particularly by Faran and Luthor, despite the constraints of women’s traditional roles. How Maera missed them dearly and longed to see them again.

Maera scanned the training yard, spotting Ser Criston sparring with another Kingsguard, and instantly thought that no one’s skill could match that of the One-Eyed Prince, who beat the Lord Commander often due to the dedication he put into his training. She had not seen him for a few days and couldn't help but wonder when she would eventually cross paths with Aemond in the Keep.

The books hidden beneath her bed held secrets that stirred thoughts of how she could even the power struggle between them when it came to sex. She was glad she had avoided Aemond’s presence since that night in her room. Even touching herself was not giving her the satisfaction that he had that night. And it had taken every ounce of restraint not to go to his chambers and demand that he give her more.

As the hours passed, Maera continued to instruct and play with the young princes, offering guidance and encouragement. Jaehaerys, the older of the two, tried to mimic her movements more precisely, while Maelor swung his sword with wild enthusiasm, giggling all the while. The cloudy sky above didn't dampen their spirits; instead, it provided a cool, pleasant atmosphere for their activities.

Then, of course, the fun was taken too far, and Maera was grateful for the nursemaid's presence as the two young Princes quickly turned their wooden swords on each other, playful at first but then quickly escalating to a squabble. The maid grabbed Maelor and Maera put her arms around Jaehaerys and the brothers were separated, receiving a gentle scolding.

Then, a change in the atmosphere grabbed Jaehaerys' attention. His violet eyes lit up as he spotted a familiar figure entering the courtyard. Aemond, clad in his characteristic black leathers and flowing overcoat, had arrived. Jaehaerys squirmed excitedly in Maera's arms and wriggled free, heading straight for his uncle, who crouched and waited with open arms. The Prince warmly embraced his nephew, a tender smile playing on his lips.

Aemond's gaze then shifted from Jaehaerys to Maera as he returned to a standing position. Their eyes met, and a playful spark passed between them. It was a subtle reminder of their passionate encounter, causing a subtle blush to paint Maera’s face. Her attention from Aemond was distracted by young Maelor, who tugged on Maera’s tunic with a whine, prompting her to bend down and pick him up. She positioned the youngest prince on her hip before approaching her betrothed and bidding him a respectful nod, her emerald eyes holding a glint of intrigue.

Maera couldn't help but comment on Aemond's presence in the training yard at an unusual time. She quipped in High Valyrian, "Angoda naejot ūndegon ao kesīr rȳ bisa mēriot, dārilaros Aemond. Ao l bodmagho rȳ tovi.”Surprised to see you here at this hour, Prince Aemond. You usually train at dawn.

Aemond, with a mischievous grin, reached over to ruffle Maelor's silver curls, who was sitting comfortably on Maera's hip. He retorted, "Sȳrī, skorkydoso ao gīmigon, issa riñnykeā? Ao issare sŷz rȳ tha īlva egros ginilaro. Nyke daor urnesi skoro syt.”Well, how would you know, my Lady? You've been rather adept at avoiding our daily sparring sessions lately. I cannot imagine why. He wore a faint smirk as he spoke, walking a fine line by alluding the reason for their lack of contact over the last few days.

Maera, returning his smirk, countered, "Avoiding is a strong word, my Prince. I've simply been concentrating on preparations for our upcoming wedding." Aemond hummed thoughtfully, acknowledging her point.

The tension between them was undeniable, a testament to the magnetic pull that bound them. Maera tried to maintain her composure and hoped no onlookers could sense the spark between her and the Prince. Her dark green eyes filled with a mixture of desire and uncertainty, and she found her thoughts frequently drifting to the memory of their intimate encounter every time she surveyed his form. The sensation of Aemond's lips upon hers, the feeling of his fingers on her pearl, lingered like a sweet ache, a tantalizing reminder of the forbidden attraction that simmered beneath the surface.

She wondered if Aemond was equally as affected by the magnetic pull between them, as he was able to manage and conceal the intensity of his emotions far better then Maera could. However, she could by the way his one eye locked on her form that there was a smoldering intensity that spoke volumes even in the most mundane of interactions.

Little Prince Jaehaerys stood between his uncle and Maera, clearly confused by the lingering looks and complicated High Valyrian spoken between the adults. Bored of the few moments silence, Jaehaerys, ever the inquisitive young Prince, gazed up at his uncle and pondered, "So, if Lady Maera is going to marry you, Kepus, does that make her my aunt?"

Maera chuckled and affirmed, "Indeed it does, sweet boy."

Jaehaerys beamed at Maera at this revelation. Then, he turned to back Aemond and asked, "Will you give me many cousins to play with?"

Aemond, his gaze warm, replied, "As many as my future wife will allow, little Prince." Maera couldn't help but smile; the notion of Aemond as a husband and father now occupying her thoughts. As cold and distant as he appeared on the outside, it was clear that Aemond held a special places for his niece and nephews in his heart. Hopefully this meant Aemond would be a caring and attentive father, a stark contrast to how his own father had been to him.

“An army of Targaryens! And I will lead them as I ride Ēbrion!” Jaehaerys yelled with excitement, his arms in the air in triumph, causing Maera to jokingly place a hand on her opposite hip.

“I think your uncle and I have much to discuss before I produce your army, my dear Prince,” she interjected with a smile.

Aemond nodded in agreement, his tone taking a more serious note, "I agree, my Lady. Perhaps we could discuss the planning of the Prince’s army during a walk in the gardens this afternoon. Chaperoned, of course, to maintain propriety," he added with a sly grin.

Maera's eyes widened with amusement, and she couldn't help but accept the invitation. "A stroll in the gardens sounds delightful," she replied, her tone light, and her eyes twinkling with humor.

The One-Eyed Prince departed with a nod, as Maera felt butterflies in her stomach, excited for their time together. The nursery maid approached and Maera kindly asked her if she would assist in getting the children back to their quarters, to which the young girl agreed.

The nursery in the Red Keep was a realm of wonderment and joy, designed to nurture the royal children who dwelled within its confines. A place where Maera’s own children would someday dwell, doted on by nursery maids and governesses. A large hearth dominated one wall, its fire providing a gentle warmth that filled the room. Above it, the portrait of Ēbrion that Maera had painted not long ago.

In one corner of the room were two small beds for the four-year-old twins, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera. Their beddings were soft and adorned with embroidered dragons, a subtle reminder of their noble lineage. Plush toys and dolls lined the shelves, waiting to be embraced in playful adventures.

In another corner, two-year-old Maelor's crib awaited him, similarly adorned with comfort and care. Beside the crib, a low table was laden with toys and building blocks, an invitation to creativity and exploration.

Stood near the entrance was little Princess Jaehaera, eagerly waiting for the return of her siblings who had engaged in a morning of fun, whilst she had been measured for a new dress.

"What did I miss?" Asked the little silver-haired girl.

Her twin brother, Jaehaerys, filled her in enthusiastically, boasting, "We trained in the yard, just like real knights!"

Jaehaera scowled at her twin and exclaimed, "That's not fair!"

Maera quickly reassured Jaehaera, saying, "Don't worry, Princess, there will be plenty more opportunities for you to train outside like your brothers." Maera said, placing a hand on little Jaeahera’s shoulder. “Tell me, how was your dress fitting?”

The distraction instantly brightened Jaehaera's mood as she proudly shared, "I will look just like my mother! It’s got a long green skirt and little golden dragons!”

Maera smiled warmly at her, before saying, “It seems you will definitely upstage me as the bride, Jaeahera.”

With the children settled, Maera thanked the nursemaids for their assistance and bid them and the children farewell before hurrying back to her own rooms. There, she had her maid, Thena, assist in preparing a bath for her, to remove the mud from playing with the children in the courtyard. The bathwater, warmed to perfection, filled the deep metal tub, and the scent of fragrant oils hung in the air.

Her hair was carefully undone and brushed smoothly, and Thena assisted her in disrobing from her training gear before helping Maera into a bath filled with fragrant oils and delicate petals. The soothing warmth of the bath offered a moment of respite before her upcoming meeting with her intended husband. Her heart raced at the prospect of the stroll, their newfound connection, and the unspoken emotions that danced in the air between them.

Maera sighed in contentment, sinking further into the soothing embrace of the bath. Thena, armed with a sponge and scented soap, began to gently cleanse her mistress's skin.

“Prince Aemond wishes to go strolling in the gardens, Thena. I think I should look my best for my betrothed, don’t you?” Maera inquired as the sponge rubbed her shoulder.

Her loyal handmaiden, smiled warmly as she continued her diligent work.“Indeed, my Lady. I take it you are more at peace with the idea of being wed to the Prince? I know you had your reservations,”

Maera's grin was impossible to miss, even in the midst of her bath. She thought back to how their initial interactions were laced with bitterness and anger. Now months had passed and their relationship had changed and grown for the better. Not what it was when they were children, but something different. Better, in fact.

"You know," she began, her words filled with a mix of fondness and astonishment,“I have definitely found some contentment.”

The notion of finding happiness and connection with Aemond, despite their tumultuous history, had become a source of hope in her life, and it was a sentiment she was eager to explore further

Lady Maera closed her eyes as Thena massaged her scalp, but couldn't seem to shake the furrowed brows that marked her concern. Memories of her recent encounter with Lord Larys, the Master of Whispers, haunted her thoughts. In the library a few days ago, his almost menacing tone had delivered a stark lesson on the perilous world of alliances within the royal court. Maera had no illusions about the true nature of the man – a snake in noble attire – but she couldn't deny the truth in his words.

"I'm no fool," Maera stated firmly, her voice tinged with a hint of frustration. "I know that marrying the Prince won't protect me. If anything, it'll put me at even greater risk of spies and threats." Her gaze locked onto her red-haired maid, who had become not just a servant but a trusted confidante. She spoke with determination, "That's why I need your loyal service once again, Thena."

Thena met her lady's gaze with unwavering loyalty, her own eyes reflecting the trust they had developed over time. "Of course, my lady," she replied with a nod, her voice carrying the weight of her commitment as she rinsed her Lady’s hair.

Maera leaned forward, instructing Thena on her plan. "Over the next few days, I want you to find trustworthy allies within the castle," she said, her voice low but resolute. "Maids, cooks, servants, squires – anyone we can count on. I need informants who can keep me up to date on what goes on in the Red Keep." Maera understood the value of information, especially in a court filled with secrets, alliances, and rivalries. She even emphasized, "Especially regarding matters on King Aegon and the Small Council."

Thena nodded in understanding, recognizing the gravity of the task ahead. With her lady's instructions clear, she stood up and offered her arm to help Maera out of the tub, maintaining the decorum of their roles. As she wrapped a towel around Maera's form, it was evident that their bond, built on trust and shared purpose, would be a vital asset in the uncertain days that lay ahead.

After Thena had meticulously dried both her hair and body, Maera moved to her ornate wardrobe. She contemplated her choices for a moment before selecting a dress in the bold colors of House Wylde. The gown was adorned with intricate button detailing on the bodice, and its elegant bell sleeves added an air of regal grace. The dress was cinched at the waist, designed to accentuate her every curve. It was a choice that spoke of both confidence and intention.

Thena couldn't help but notice the purpose behind her lady's selection and teased with a cheeky grin, "It seems you do want to impress the Prince, my lady." Maera playfully scowled at her maid's observation, her eyes gleaming with a mix of amusement and excitement.

As Thena skillfully worked on Maera's hair, she sectioned off half of it, twirling two front sections away from her face to create an elegant half-up, half-down hairstyle. The result was both timeless and enchanting, framing Maera's features beautifully. Thena proceeded to lace her lady into the carefully chosen dress, her deft hands ensuring a perfect fit. To complete the ensemble, she adorned Maera with a pair of dangling golden earrings that caught the light and added a touch of radiance.

Ser Arryk, her loyal protector, then entered the room as Maera’s preparations concluded.

With a polite and respectful tone, he offered his assistance. "Shall I escort and chaperone your meeting with Prince Aemond, my Lady?" His presence was a comforting one, a reminder of the support she had within the Red Keep.

Maera smiled appreciatively at the knight's offer, taking in his polished armour and kind hazel eyes.

"That would be most kind, Ser Arryk," she replied with a nod, her expression a blend of gratitude and determination. With her preparations complete and her escort in place, Maera was ready to face the prince, her heart filled with a mix of giddiness and apprehension.

Notes: I don’t know why it took me so long to finish this chapter but I think it’s cos it’s technically another filler and I’m too excited about the next one instead 🤣

Tags: @blue-serendipity @marvelescvpe @manipulatixe @grungegrrrl @shesjustanothergeek

Thank you so much for reading! Comments, feedback, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated 🖤

[dangerous-advantage]

concerning the new changes (07.10.23)

all right fuck it i wasn't gonna do this but then i ended up filling the tags on the post i reblogged.

so here's my thoughts on staff's 'Tumblr's Core Product Strategy" post and the things that i think could actually be good!... if staff respects tumblr's culture in implementing them.

to note, i am referring to this post. for better context, please go read the whole thing and try not to skip details, since i think it's important to understand the post through your own perspective if you want to participate in the conversation.

this post worried me at first, both because changes in the tumblr ecosystem with as much weight as this post carries have, historically, been pretty bad for the userbase.

starting off with a focus on creating a larger user base and inviting more, new creators rather than with a strong plan to focus on improving the current state of tumblr sets off alarm bells.

reading through the rest of it leaves me with... mixed thoughts. while it honestly does seem like they've heard a lot of the things we've been screaming at them about and might actually take steps to make things improve, i'm still wary.

this isn't a post explaining specific changes tumblr plans to implement. in fact, there are relatively few examples of actual strategies being communicated. it's just an overview with a lot of implications for the future.

i mean, not even the new tumblr labs group has any idea what the exact changes are going to be. just look at this:

[ID: A screenshot containing text from a post made by the aforementioned account. It reads, "But we're not sure exactly what that change looks like, so we've assembled a new team, called Tumblr Labs, to figure it out as quickly..." It cuts off here. /End ID]

and i think that's the problem.

so, the post. staff explains that the issue, as they see it, is that the platform is fundamentally flawed-- i.e., because tumblr is difficult to use if you don't have an understanding of the site before, it tends to scare off new users rather than encourage engagement.

this isn't untrue. however, it should be noted, the tumblr userbase has cultivated a culture of teaching newcomers how the website and the website's culture functions. (see: the many posts made as 'guides' in the wake of the twitter and reddit fiascos, as well as @/strange-aeon's video on the topic.)

(not to say that this system isn't imperfect and could be improved by directing new users to the these posts, buuuuuuut i'll get into that later.)

now: i (and i think most of the userbase) agree with staff on the main point-- tumblr, as a platform, is broken. we have long complained about the bugs and the messy reblog chains and the notifications overwhelming you if a post gains traction.

(though, we've also just integrated that into tumblr culture, but that's a tangent for a different time.)

here's the thing: staff does mention these things as problems they want to fix.

here's a short list of some things the post mentions that i honestly agree are a problem, and that a lot of people have wanted to see change!

[ID: Screenshots of items taken from the bulleted lists on staff's post. These read as follows: "Improving Tumblr's search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards." "Making it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread." "Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral." "Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.""Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users." /End ID]

again, these are things that i agree are issues and would be cool to see improved upon. but staff doesn't tell us how they plan to do this.

in staff's response to the userbases' assumption that they're going to remove the reverse-chronological dashboard, they state they're 'surprised' users came away with this assumption.

i, for one, am not.

the relationship between tumblr staff and the tumblr collective has been strained for a long time. mounting frustrations about users' actual issues with the website being ignored while new features are implemented that are almost unanimously disliked doesn't help.

and don't forget, the last time a change as drastic as this post is making it seem came into action, the porn ban was implemented. a change that had an overall negative effect on the community and tumblr's culture at large. it tore away crucial aspects of tumblr's identity that we'll probably never get back.

so while this post does address issues users have wanted to see fixed, of course we're still going to be wary.

the bottom line is, users don't trust staff to implement changes that will be beneficial to improving the platform for the tumblr userbase. (the recent reddit and twitter debacles don't help things much, either.)

i think staff needs to realize, as the final poster put it, tumblr already has innate value. value created by the community.

if staff focuses on improving tumblr to be easier to use-- in accordance with elevating tumblr's culture-- it will attract more people, simply by being less broken all the time.

this brings me to the other (main) issue i have: putting new users first over the current userbase.

this may not have been what staff meant to imply, but the emphasis seems to be on improving the userbase for incoming users, rather than those of us who are already here.

to be clear, i don't think that making tumblr easier to navigate for new users is bad. i mean, there's a reason we were writing guides. joining tumblr if you aren't already exposed to it can be daunting.

allowing new users to rely on an actual, working algorithm (although i think a user-driven algorithim is possibly one of the best parts of tumblr) isn't inherently bad. using that algorithim to elevate new creators isn't bad, either.

it's the way they choose to do this that makes us wary. like i mentioned before, we already have somewhat of a system for on-boarding new users to the site: word of mouth from more experienced users. this helps with both learning how to navigate tumblr and introducing new users to tumblr culture.

with all this in mind: where do we go from here?

in my mind, the solution for these problems comes down to communication. if staff wants more trust from the tumblr userbase, they need to show they are willing to listen to feedback from the tumblr collective.

when implementing changes, a great way to avoid the immediate backlash and distrust of tumblr users is by clearly outlining the changes they plan to make and the strategies by which they will be carried out.

another user made the analogy that websites should be like cities, where the users have a say in (as staff puts it) the 'evolution of tumblr.'

(mmmmmaybe we could use that spiffy new poll feature, too? everybody loves polls!)

for on-boarding new users, staff could take inspiration from the userbase in implementing a system by which new users are given the information needed to navigate tumblr. tidy up the site, remove bugs, and make it easier to use, and a lot of problems will sort themselves out.

then, we can go from there.

regarding the rest of the stuff i brushed over, i don't feel i can really say much without knowing what they actually plan to do, or where they plan to go with these things.

for example, here's another list of images of things from the post that i am cautiously intrigued by, but am worried will be improved for the worse:

[ID: Another series of images, showing more of the items listed in staff's post. They read as follows: "Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs." "Get creators' new content in front of people who are interested in it." "Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting." "Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs." "Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds." /End ID.]

the bottom line is this: if staff wants the support of the userbase in upcoming changes, they need to show that they respect and value us and the culture at large. in my opinion, staff has made strides in embracing tumblr culture, but we need to know these changes are not just motivated by profit.

if staff intends to keep it's current users, they need to to recognize that we deserve a say in this, too.

without the userbase, tumblr wouldn't exist. end of story. we are what keep tumblr alive. as stated before, expanding the userbase is not a bad thing. but doing so to the detriment of tumblr's culture is.

in this regard, i do truly hope that staff means what they said in the conclusion of their original post:

[ID: An image of the conclusion of staff's post. It reads: "Our mission has always been to empower the world's creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that priotitizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we--" The words then cut off. /End ID]

so, @staff. if you really do believe this: prove it.

[jamtoasties3316]

Nico and Lance are the daddy's girls menace duo! Maybe Lance just turned 18, while Nico is already 22-ish, and has a lot more experience.

Nico likes to tease all the men who cross his path, while Lance prefers to give them a mean face, but he accepts the drinks he's been offered since he was 15. Lance prefers alcohol over drugs but snorted his first lines thanks to Nico! And accepts pretty colored pills.

Maybe Lawrence and Lance's relationship isn't as good as Keke and Nico's. Lance doesn't appreciate his daddy's bold wandering hands as much as Nico reaches for his daddy's, but Lawrence spoils Lance with whatever he wants. At the end, Lance loves being a daddy's girl.

Lance isn't a virgin, but he is not as bold as Nico. Yet Nico starts to corrupt him very quickly. Lance ends up in an expensive hotel room with Toto sitting in an armchair, intently watching as Nico snorts coke off Lance's pussy and then scissoring, moaning loudly, and going up to Toto to suck him off together.

Lance is attracted to Toto enough to let him take photos of Nico and him with their faces covered in cum and kissing, not caring that Toto knows his daddy and could easily show him the pics.

I love this combination!

Nico knows Lance for a long time already and never stopped Lance from trying out anything, not even when Lance was offered colourful little cocktails while only 15 or so. They get closer once Lance turns 18 and Nico likes to take him out because Lance is pretty and easy and doesn't steal his drugs because he prefers alcohol lol

But when Lance seems curious about the coke Nico loves so much, Nico lets him try and helps him, and also gets him coloured pills he knows are fun (in his own little way he would be protective? only letting Lance take things he took himself before so he knows its sorta safe)

Lance doesnt really understand why Nico accepts Keke's touches so much and even lets his daddy fuck him. But Nico seems happy so he doesnt say anything. And after a few years, he starts letting Lawrence fuck him too. Its just easier sometimes, he gets what he wants without even leaving the house. And ofcourse Lance is equally spoiled as Nico and they for sure go shopping together! With their daddy's credit cards ofcourse!

Nico also involves Lance more in his dirty little games, especially with Toto because Toto so enjoys the fact he knows their fathers. Nico snorting coke of the mound of Lance's pussy and then messily eating the other omega out until the pretty young thing squirts! Them together on their knees sucking and licking at Toto's cock would have him cum in no time!

When Toto wants anal for sure Nico will have Lance do it lol. He does open up Lance's tiny puckered hole, he is nice like that! And he will rub Lance's clit to distract him.

And plss toto would have plenty of content of them, photos and videos of their messy cum filled pussies, and them making out while covered in his cum!

[tuningknight]

thoughts on girls revolution project cast based on their comics so far

#1, pink hair

- taking her first steps into the world; "my name is becoming real"

- (is she a virtual entity in the first place vs a real entity? idk)

- self-doubts, self-deprecative thoughts

- afraid of the world, afraid of being hurt by others

- (HC trans allegory...? self-deprecation is in line with gender dysphoria, being afraid of the world & being hurt by others is in line with how trans acceptance is viewed)

#2, purple&red hair

- feels the world is too big

- wants to shift focus on "smaller things"

- has been hurt in some way

- thinks abt reasons for hurt & conflict in the world

- believes strongly in empathy/sympathy

- (i really like this worldview... i resonate a lot with it, wondering about how people hurt others and are hurt themselves; why there is conflict in the world; implication that she feels like people who haven't experienced deep pain are cruel themselves -- i feel this a lot too)

#3, black hair

- loves the world in its darkness and beauty

- has a lot of emotions she wants to express

- sees her turbulent self in the turbulent world

- sense of self, authenticity, independency

- wants to be her authentic, messy self in expressing her feelings & emotions -- not cool and calculated at all

- (she screams goth/emo/alt to me, sorry abt being unable to pinpoint the specific name i'm a bit unfamiliar, but something about wanting to express darker emotions and not hide them is just. yeah you get it)

#4, white hair

- feels like the world is always watching & oppressive

- pressured to be a "certain way," to conform to the world, but wants to "just be herself"

- feels suffocated by the pressure of the world

- "we can't accept our differences from others" -> thematic of conforming & pressure; being different is unacceptable, the more different you are from society the worse it is

- emphasis on regrets -> maybe she doesn't want to live a life of regrets not expressing herself the way she wants to

- (somehow she gives me the vibe of being physically disabled or otherwise bodily frail, but i'm unsure where i get that vibe)

#5, purplish magenta hair

- feels the world is very structured and clear, but that structure is too oppressive at times

- likely experiences emotional & behavioral outbursts often (?)

- wants to hide her feelings/not make her feelings known, and just wants people to coexist alongside her in society like she's normal

- longing for normalcy vs feeling like the world's feelings & norms are against her

- (HC she has some kind of behavioral or personality disorder... projects my BPD on you)

#6, green/yellowish hair

- feels "empty"

- just copies others, doesn't have a real sense of self

- wants to be kind to herself despite her emptiness

- sometimes wants to feel pain (maybe related to the feeling of emptiness, something to fill that hole)

- feels importance in pain somehow

- (autism creature?)

other

another thing i just realized their eyes are all the same; given the significance of kafrim's eyes being similar, these 6 girls having the same eyes Probably Means Something in their united "revolution" against the world

all of them have comments about "the world" -- similarity in 4 and 5 regarding the structure & pressures of society; 3 and 6 also feel like they have similarities to me in their outlooks (idk how to word it, i want to say "being true to oneself" but that's not quite right); 1 and 2 also talk about being hurt by the world

all of them have critiques on society & the world from different angles, likely because they all deviate from social norms one way or another, so my HCs of some of them being say, mental disorder, autistic, trans, disabled, etc would be thematically fitting

4, 5, 6 all are hiding their sense of self, while 1 and 3 are showing & expressing their sense of self. 2 i'm unsure but i would say she's leaning towards showing her sense of self.

i wish they had fucking names already release the names PP-san AAAAAAAAA

[ciaossu-imagines]

I have loved X:Men – Evolution for so much of my life. While it’s a gamble writing for this fandom again, as it was not a pleasant experience in the past with other members of the fandom, the fact is that I love writing for this show and couldn’t resist so I used this prompt here and let the wheel choose the character! I hope anyone familiar with the show enjoys these headcanons for John Allerdyce/Pyro!

What do they smell like?

He smells kind of smoky, to be honest, at the core of it. I headcanon that he smells kind of woodsy too, but woodsier along the lines of a blazing campfire. I headcanon him as a smoker, so feel there’s a slight hint of nicotine smoke to his smell too and that his deodorant has a slight lemongrass smell.

What music do they like?

Pyro likes energetic music. He’d be into harder rock or metal but also club music and dubstep. Anything with a beat and really large drops appeals to him and screamo metal is something he’d the more violent edge to and something he’d be more tempted to sing along to.

Something they collect?

Pyro definitely has a collection of lighters. He prefers Zippo brand, though they’re expensive and he’s not often flush with cash, so he does tend to use slight of hand to get those in his pocket. His favourite Zippos are the ones with designs rather than the plain, coloured ones. He definitely had to have the Cthulhu one when he saw it and has ones that have skulls or swords on them.

What their bedroom looks like?

Unused and pretty barren, honestly. He doesn’t hold a lot of materialistic interests, so he doesn’t fill his room with furniture and décor. It has a bed and a dresser. But it’s messy, with the dresser top being filled with things, the bed is always unmade and often has stuff on top of it, and the floor definitely has piles of dirty clothes, books stacked everywhere, and used cups. He’s horrible at cleaning up after himself and doesn’t do it until his room becomes almost unusable.

Their eating habits?

Pyro has a large appetite and does eat a lot in one sitting. He has no issues putting away seconds and thirds. That being said, he actually doesn’t eat often and he’ll usually eat only one actual meal a day and just sort of snacks on and off other than that.

Intellectual pursuits and other hobbies?

Pyro is very literary and well-travelled, which surprises a lot of people. He’s really into fiction, particularly old school horror like Shirley Jackson, Lovecraft, Edgar Allan Poe, Bram Stroker, and others along those lines. He’s also a pretty big Anne Rice fan. He even writes himself, though he never found the success as a novelist he’d hoped for.

Their most prized possession?

He really does have that obsession with fire and without his flame-thrower, he knows he wouldn’t get to indulge in that as much as he gets to, so I feel that is his most cherished item.

[psych0ruinz]

Please tell me about your twd ocs I need to know everything abt them ♡♡♡

ohohoh!!!!

Dr. Constance "Connor" Hayes (She/Her) is a microbiologist in medical research in her late 50s- early 60s when everything first goes down. Because of this she helps work on a version of the "cure" and since they dont have any test subjects she gets it tested on herself. Sadly soon after they loose the lab to the outbreak. So she starts traveling around, trying to find somewhere safe. She ends up becoming a worker at the Sanctuary, mostly working in the gardens and keeping to herself. She goes by Connor and she can't let people know who she is. Especially here. Its when Eugene is sent to the Sanctuary she packs her things, ready to leave any moment. She can tell she shouldn't stay much longer. She finally leaves when Sasha breaks in. From there she focuses on her medical research, trying to stuff herself with as many homemade diy cures as she can. Using herself as her test subject. She knows she's too much of a coward to find out if any of them work. She doesn't want to know and deep inside she knows it wont matter. She could still be torn apart by walkers or killed by another person. But now it feels more sunk cost fallacy to her. So at the "end" point of her story its her being closed off and only moving when she needs to find a place that has at least a little power or gas to fill a generator. She's cold hearted and apathetic, fine with killing but when it comes to her medical research she is self sacrificing and wouldn't want to get anyone hurt from it. (by the time of the dead city time line she is old and still very much kicking) she has long grey hair which she keeps up in a messy bun and has big glasses which cover grey eyes, she kinda dresses like Milo from Atlantis with a tank top and pants tucked into boots. She uses a rifle and hatchet.

Fiona Gurro (She/They) is a teen from a private school where she was class president as well as president to the av club. she hid her bitterness and anger behind false smiles and the apocalypse really let her personality shine. She has become a radio host in the end of the world, mostly talking about whatever and playing music. She keeps track of the days and every so often during the day she will announce the date. She personally doesn't care but she knows other people do and the more people care about her radio station the more sway she has. The more likely people are to believe anything she says, if you cross her you will end up hunted. but she doesn't leave her station much, she only goes out for water and food. food is harder to find and she isnt a great hunter so her office is piled high with books on foraging. she also had to learn to take care of her solar panels, winters are hard for her as she has to keep them clear. She has no fighting experience but is quick and cautious. (blonde buzzed hair and covered in freckles with blue eyes)

Pomline Jones (She/Her) is an ex-catholic from an family who beliefs are more cult-like then actually religious. She is in her late twenties and was married to a abusive man about 15 years older than her. She didn't make these choices her family did, while she still has some religious beliefs they aren't so strict and cruel anymore. She kinda faux punk, half shaven head and all leather and always has a pickaxe on her belt. She's a loner and an angry violent one at that. All her bottled up emotions have made her volatile. She wont hesitate to threaten and kill. Like she did to her perfectly clean catholic husband. A big thing for her is making food taste good so she always has spices in her bag, people leave them behind so she finds that they are easy to get her hands on. (black hair with sharp green eyes and too much eye makeup)

Charlie "Creep" Andrews (He/It) is what some people call a stalker, he is always watching and quick on his feet. He can scale buildings swiftly and its all for his own gain. That gain is making people uncomfortable. He didn't choose to be called Creep it was just a nickname people called him because he wears a respirator and goggles with a hoodie and just watches. he is always just around every corner. waiting. for what, just for fun. If you ask him what he did before the apocalypse he will shrug and give a different vauge answer each time. But be careful because he is surprising quick in melee combat, he isn't strong but quite dexterous. He can put a screwdrivee through your eye the moment you glance away and he uses distractions as a boon while around others. (brown mousy hair with brown eyes, just some short guy who bites)